#anyway don't read my stories for the first

[bokettochild]

Okay, quick question:

Why does Legend have violet/purple eyes in your Stories? Like idk it’s my hc now too because I’ve read it so often but where does it come from?

Oh boy, I know I've answered this one a few times, but I don't blame anyone for asking again LOL

It was sort of impulse? Mostly? I remember when I was writing my first fic, I actually sat down and tried to decide what color eyes everyone would have, because eyes are incredibly important to me in my art, be it writing or sketches, and a character always feels incomplete until I can visualize them somehow while working with them.

Anyways, I don't know precisely why I chose violet for Legend, maybe because I have this character (Thane) who I wrote with violet eyes and I thought it would be a fun trait to give to someone, and so I gave it to a random Link who wasn't my current favorite (at that time, I was a huge Wild stan). It became really key to me though because, thematically, it suits him; it plays with various sorts of imagery and symbolism that make my fangirl heart scream in joy!

His eyes are the color of Fi's hilt, while Sky's are the color of her blade. His eyes are the color of a night sky, the place where stars stay, a place of peace in darkness. In my mind, I can see Hyrule as a kingdom regarding their royal family like the sun; a brightness and light that brings life. But Legend, the hero, is the light in the darkness, a star himself, who reminds them that there's hope even when the sun can't be seen. And, well, the sun is just the star closest to us, so he's a sun himself, in a way, just a distant one :)

Additionally, this works as a nice contrast to Ravio! Where Ravio has green eyes, black hair, and wears purple, Legend in my HC would have purple eyes, golden hair, and wear green, so they appear more as a reversed version of each other, just as Fable's blue eyes are a reverse to Hilda's red. (Which also means that, between the four of them, they have red, blue, green and violet! Kind of like Four!)

I also just like how it breaks up the sea of blue eyed boys. like, Hyrule is hazel to me, and Four has grey that change depending on his mood/mentality, and Wind is a ocean blue so they're almost green at times, but Legend's the only one with purple. Which means that he himself also has a blue, green, red, and purple color scheme, between his clothes and his eyes, which, in my early fics, made for another fun similarity to Four (I like tying them together, thematically)

Last of all? It's just pretty. Like, our boy changes his hair all the time, like a girl changes clothes (if you will), but purple eyes? Those go with anything! The black he had during OoX, the red, green, blue (whichever you like, or all if you prefer) of TFH, the typical blonde, or even his traditional pink! they soften his appearance some as well and give him a unique look and feature amid a sea of look-alike-links!

So yeah, there's a lot of "reasons" which mostly boil down to the fact that I thought it'd be fun and then I made it important because It Just Worked

And it's stuck with me! and some other writers have even started doing it too! Granted, I see a lot of brown eyed Legend, green eyed, and of course, the traditional blue, but it makes me smile when I see Violet in anyone's work, because while I'm not saying I've definitely impacted the perception of him by the fandom, I am saying it's nice to think of it like I have, and imagine that in some way, I got to be part of crafting a really cool character, even if it's just through a color contribution :)

[beomiracles]

Cracks knuckles I said I was gonna read this like a month ago, but here we are. Deadlines aren’t really my thing but i digress. 

First off all, the way you write, is so captivating. I would even go as far as calling it its own language. I could list hundreds of metaphors that you use throughout this ‘short’ introduction to what i can already tell is going to be a gutwrenching fic – and each metaphor hit just as hard. 

The beginning paragraphs are so important and they really set the mood for the entirety of the fic. It’s harsh and cruel, depicting a reality no child should ever have to endure. We’re first introduced to the MC/reader, whatever you wanna call her,, and i’m just like… she’s so esoteric, that’s probably the best way to describe her. She’s not made to be understood and you portray that so well with how people thus far have treated her. And the promise she makes to herself, to never be taken or broken. The way she’s so in tune with both herself and nature around her gives both her and the story in itself such a fairytale setting and feeling. It feels almost like a book i can pick up with a deep green or blue cover, with hand drawn pictures in the corners as you follow on her journey. 

And the cut to beomgyu?? I love that man so much im going to feel for him no matter the fic. Not being the king’s actual son is such a heavy burden on him because he feels as though no matter how hard he tries he can never compensate for being someone he wasn’t supposed to. It’s not the queen’s fault, nor is it his brother’s – but he’s allowed to feel a certain hollowness, even toward the people he should love. Still, i really love that you chose to go the opposite way when it comes to his brother, i love that he has love for him and vice versa. The mention of Kai coming into his room at night???? Do you know i have a glock.

Anyway, continuing on the fairytale theme – you really amplify this by building this chapter in 3s. Three nights of beomgyu coming outside to watch the reader, and it is not until the third night he is found out. I love the spellbound metaphors, in such a magical world they fit perfectly. And adding on even further to the reader’s esoteric persona is when beomgyu sees her and is immediately in awe. For someone grown up around things magical, HER magic is still something truly captivating, something foreign that pulls him in. 

Kai follows him on the third night, and it’s the first time we get a proper feel of his character. You’ve beautifully portrayed their differences — kai feels warm, like the sun, bright yet deep and bold colors. He’s confident, he speaks and acts like a prince because he feels in every part of himself that he is. Beomgyu is not, he’s quiet, blue and purple, the moon and not the sun, you even say it yourself “But then again, Kai had always been the gentler one, the one who wore his heart on his sleeve like a badge of honor. Beomgyu, with all his jagged edges and quiet ache, had never known how to offer such kindness so easily.” spectacular. Beomgyu doesn’t act and speak like a prince because he does not feel he is, him and kai are so similar but so different. — Even as they walk back, it’s kai who’s holding our hand, gently guiding us through the dark forest as beomgyu quietly observes, just like he has been for three nights. 

Now I don't want to get ahead of myself because there is still so much to learn about all of these characters, but right now it feels as though beomgyu and reader are similar, perhaps a little too similar. Whereas kai is this strong and almost dependent force. Kai is someone the reader can rely on, beomgyu is wary, their energies will likely bounce off of each other rather than blending together to create one. 

And as a biased bamtori i will always be rooting for him, not to mention that so far he’s been portrayed as somewhat of an outcast, never enough for anyone – perhaps not even for you. And that’s like what i crave in a fic between the love interests… BUT there’s so much we don’t know about kai, maybe he’s not what ha makes himself out to be, he feels pain too, i feel like there could be so much hidden under his gentleness and im like itching to know what it could be. 

Yeth anyways,, post the next part its been over a month

A FLOWER GROWN IN MOONLIGHT.... ( PT. 1 ) ; a perfect stranger

೨౿ ⠀  ׅ ⠀   ̇ 7K ⸝⸝ . ‌ ׅ ⸺ word count.

pairings 𝜗𝜚 fae prince .ᐟ beomgyu ៹ moonskin .ᐟ reader , fae prince .ᐟ kai ៹ moonskin .ᐟ reader ᧁ ; fantasy ˒ fae ˒ smut ˒ series

warnings ⊹₊ ⋆ mentions of abuse toxic traditional ideologies mentions of death reader has long dark hair kinda stalker-ish vibes from beomgyu (he's just fascinated ok...)

synopsis ୨୧ In the twilight hush of the world, there are strange and wondrous things — shimmering beneath the silver moon, curling their fingers through the soft soil of reality. Like flowers that bloom from the skin of a girl with a secret garden in her veins, these marvels are born from the quiet ache of longing and the fierce defiance of wonder.

The forest swallowed her in a single, silent breath, as though the ancient trees themselves had conspired to hide her from the world’s ruthless gaze. She ran, feet slick with blood and dirt, each desperate stride echoing in the cathedral hush of moonlight and shadow. The night clung to her skin, damp and trembling, as if it too feared the fire and steel that had burned her past to ash. She had no name to call herself, no echo of who she had been to anchor her in the darkness; only the wild, unbroken rhythm of her heartbeat and the magic that bloomed in quiet defiance across her skin. 

She was but a girl of twelve or thirteen summers, and yet her world had already been reduced to a single thread of survival. She had seen the ruin of her family; the house that had once held laughter and warm bread now a silent grave of splintered wood and broken bodies. Their faces flickered behind her eyelids with every breath: her mother’s gentle hands turned still and cold, her father’s fierce laughter replaced by the rattle of dying breath. They had been her world, and now they were echoes, ghosts of warmth fading into the frost of memory. All because of the flowers she bore, the blossoms that stirred and unfurled with each racing beat of her heart. Flowers that were both curse and promise, beauty and burden, shimmering with a magic that the world had deemed too precious to be left unclaimed. The men who had come for her were strangers, eyes hard as iron, voices like the crack of breaking ice. She could not remember their faces, only the glint of cold steel and the smell of smoke as they tore her world apart. They had come for the gift that grew upon her skin, but she would not let them take her. She would not let them claim what was hers, what was a part of her soul. She watched as her mother and father begged for mercy, begged to be left alone. She had been an enigma to them but still loved the same as any other child was. A parents' love was unconditional no matter their faults. 

So she ran, deeper into the forest’s waiting arms, her breath ragged and sharp as winter air. Each footfall was a defiance of the darkness that stalked her, each stumble a vow she would not yield. 

The forest was alive around her; a symphony of ancient whispers and sighing leaves, the hush of roots burrowing deep into the earth. Branches reached for her like the gnarled hands of old spirits, tangling in her hair and tearing at her tunic, but she pressed on, driven by the wild thrum of fear and something older still, hope, perhaps, or the raw, unbreakable will to endure. The flowers on her skin pulsed with a soft glow, petals trembling as they opened to the night. Their perfume wove around her like a spell, the scent of summer rain and the promise of life in the midst of ruin. She ran until her legs gave way, until the night became a blur of tears and silver light, until the world narrowed to the raw ache of her lungs and the cold bite of the earth beneath her feet. She fell in a hollow where the moss was soft as a mother’s touch, the ground damp and cool against her fevered skin. Around her, the forest held its breath, and for a moment, she let the darkness cradle her, let the grief and terror spill from her in shivering gasps. She had no name, no home, no memory of safety left to her, but she had her breath, and the flowers that unfurled with every exhale. She had the pulse of life beneath her skin, a quiet rebellion in every bloom.

The petals glowed faintly in the darkness, delicate as moonlight, fragile as a child’s dream. They were her only inheritance, the only proof that she was still here, still breathing, still hers. She pressed her hands to the mossy earth, feeling the slow, steady heartbeat of the forest beneath her palms. In that moment, she made a promise, not to the memory of the family she had lost, nor to the kingdom that would never claim her. She promised herself, in the hush between heartbeats, that she would not be taken. That she would not be broken. That she would rise from the ruin, root herself in the quiet strength of the earth, and grow. And so she lay there, nameless and alone, while the forest wrapped its green heart around her, weaving her into its endless song of shadow and life. In the hush of ancient trees and the sigh of wind through hollow branches, she let herself rest; just for a breath, just for a heartbeat. Tomorrow, the world would hunt her still. But tonight, she was alive. And the flowers on her skin bloomed brighter than the stars above.

Beomgyu lay awake, staring at the vaulted ceiling of his bedchamber, where moonlight spilled in pale rivers through the glass. Sleep had fled from him, as it so often did, leaving him adrift in the quiet hours of the night. Outside, winter sang softly against the windows, snow falling in delicate flurries, each flake a fleeting marvel. He welcomed the cold that pressed against the ancient stones of Silvertheed, the way it crept into his bones and made him feel more alive. There was a purity to the cold, a sharpness that cut through the murk of dreams and memory. 

Unable to bear the restlessness any longer, Beomgyu rose from his bed and dressed in silence, his movements swift and sure. He slipped from his chamber with the stealth of a shadow, the marble halls of the palace echoing beneath his boots. Silvertheed was a kingdom of silver light and ancient enchantments, where the fae blood that ran in his veins sang to the moon and the stars. But tonight, the stone corridors felt too close, too heavy with secrets. He needed the breath of the forest, the hush of snow-laden branches to soothe the storm within him. He stepped into the cold with a sigh of relief, the winter air biting at his skin and turning his breath to mist. The forest at the palace’s edge was a cathedral of white and shadow, branches heavy with snow and moonlight pooling in icy hollows. Beomgyu walked slowly, savoring the hush of the night, the way the world seemed to pause in reverence for the quiet majesty of winter. His thoughts drifted like snowflakes, half-formed and shimmering, until he heard it; a sound that did not belong to the forest’s ancient hush. 

A song, soft and lilting, like the echo of a forgotten lullaby. It wove through the air, pulling at something deep in his chest, something that felt both fragile and unbreakable. Beomgyu stilled, his breath caught in his throat, and followed the sound through the hush of snow and the sigh of wind. There, in a small clearing where moonlight pooled like quicksilver, he saw you. A girl, no older than twenty summers, your hair dark as the midnight sky. You sat upon a fallen log, weaving flowers into your hair with a careful, almost reverent touch. The flowers glowed faintly in the moonlight, petals of lavender and rose, pale blue and the soft blush of dawn. But it was not the flowers themselves that held Beomgyu spellbound — it was the way they grew from your skin, each bloom unfurling in delicate wonder before you plucked it free and wove it into your braid. 

His breath stilled, the cold forgotten as he watched you. In Silvertheed, magic was woven into every stone and stream, but he had never seen anything like this. Your humming was soft, the notes unfamiliar yet haunting in their beauty, as if you sang to the forest itself and the forest bent to listen. you seemed a part of the night, your presence both fragile and eternal, as though you had stepped from a dream spun of moonlight and memory. Beomgyu pressed his back against the rough bark of a pine, heart pounding with wonder and something else; an ache he could not name. He watched your fingers move with delicate precision, each flower a promise of something unspoken, something ancient and aching. The snow fell around you, each flake a benediction, and you moved as if the world itself was a secret you alone could read. 

For a long moment, he simply watched, caught between the world he knew and the wonder of the girl before him. You were weaving flowers of your own skin, and he could not look away. The cold pressed closer, sharp as glass, but he welcomed it — it made the moment feel real, made him feel real. In that clearing of moonlight and snow, Beomgyu felt as though he had stepped beyond the edge of the world, into a story that had waited centuries to be told. He did not yet know your name, or what fate had led you here, but he knew this: he would remember this moment forever. The girl with flowers on her skin, humming to the night as if she had always belonged to it. 

Beomgyu lingered in the shadows, the snow beneath his boots a muffled echo of your soft, secret song. He watched you through the hush of ancient pines, heart caught in the quiet reverence of the night. Your voice, a low hum that seemed to draw the moon closer, drifted across the clearing in a language he did not know. You sat upon a fallen log, weaving flowers — no, not flowers, but pieces of yourself, into your dark hair, petals pale as dawnlight against the night’s dark silk. Each bloom you plucked from your skin was a quiet rebellion against the cold, a testament to the magic that pulsed beneath your breath. Beomgyu watched with the rapture of a child who has seen a miracle; each unfurling petal a spell, each sigh of wind a promise. He watched you until the night was no longer night, until the stars began to fade and the cold blue hush of dawn bled into the sky. The snow fell softer as the world began to wake, and he felt the pull of duty of the life he could not leave behind, gnawing at the edges of this stolen moment. He could not be caught here, a prince hidden among the roots and shadows, watching you like a pilgrim before an altar. 

With a final, lingering glance, he turned and slipped away, his cloak a whisper of darkness against the snow. You did not see him go, lost in your quiet ritual, your voice still weaving ancient secrets into the hush of the forest. The memory of your song clung to him like a heartbeat as he made his way back to Silvertheed, the cold burning against his skin, each breath a promise that he would return. And though the sun rose over the kingdom in a blaze of gold and winter fire, for Beomgyu, the world remained moonlit and trembling with the wonder of you; the girl who grew flowers from her skin and sang to the night as though it alone could understand.

The next night, sleep eluded Beomgyu once again, as if it were a fickle spirit dancing just beyond his grasp. He lay in the hush of his bedchamber, the cold seeping through the stones and into his bones. His mind was a restless sea, every thought a wave breaking against the memory of you; the girl who sang to the night and wove flowers from her skin as if she were born of the forest’s breath. All day he had carried the wonder of you like a fragile bloom, tucked close to his chest where no one could see. 

He rose at last, drawn again to the forest’s quiet promise. But before he could slip out into the snow, his thoughts turned inward, to the echoes of a past that still clung to him like winter’s frost. The memories of his childhood in Silvertheed’s halls were etched in the marrow of his bones, a tapestry of bruises and hollow silences. His father; the king in name and name only, had never looked upon him with anything but disdain. Beomgyu was not his son, not truly. He was a relic of the queen’s past, a living reminder of a love that had bloomed before the king’s shadow fell upon her. The king’s cruelty had been a quiet poison, administered in cold words and cold hands, each blow an echo of a truth Beomgyu had always known: that he did not belong. Yet in the darkness of those years, there was always Kai; his brother, his solace. Kai was the balm to every wound, the soft light in the kingdom’s cold embrace. Sweet and nurturing, Kai held his brother’s hand when the world grew too dark, his presence a soft murmur of safety in the night. 

Kai did not carry the king’s venom in his veins; he was all gentleness and soft-spoken wonder, a soul untainted by their father’s bitterness. He would sit with Beomgyu by the fireside, weaving stories from the smoke and the shadows, their laughter a quiet rebellion against the kingdom’s chill. It was not Kai’s fault that the king’s love was a blade turned inward, a wound that never healed. And Beomgyu, despite the ache of it all, loved his brother with a devotion that could not be broken. But tonight, as he slipped from his chamber and into the forest’s embrace, it was not his father’s cruelty that consumed his thoughts; it was you. The memory of your humming, the way your flowers bloomed in the cold, unfurling with the soft sigh of winter’s breath. The forest seemed to remember you, each tree a silent witness to the magic you carried in your skin. Beomgyu walked deeper into the hush of snow and moonlight, his breath a pale ghost in the night, his heart a restless flame.  

He did not know what he would find when he reached that clearing, only that he could not stay away. In the quiet ache of the night, with the stars as his only guide, Beomgyu let himself hope that he would see you again, that you would be there, humming to the cold and weaving your secret blooms beneath the gaze of the moon. This time, the forest was a cathedral of silence, the snow beneath Beomgyu’s boots a muffled prayer to the moon. Each step was a deliberate hush, a reverent pause in the symphony of winter. He felt the cold in his bones, but he welcomed it — it was a sharp, clarifying thing, a promise that he was awake and alive in this moment. The ache of the cold was nothing compared to the pull that guided him through the dark, a quiet gravity that led him back to you.

He followed the thread of your song, a gentle melody that wound through the pines like a silver river. The night itself seemed to lean in to listen, each branch heavy with snow, each shadow holding its breath. And then he saw you, the clearing opening up before him like a secret. You were a small, wild flame against the hush of winter, your dark hair a river of shadows that caught the light of the fire you had kindled. The pot above the flames glowed faintly, steam rising in soft curls that vanished into the frozen air. You moved with a surety that spoke of ancient rituals, of secrets whispered by the forest’s oldest trees. 

One by one, you plucked the flowers from your skin, each bloom trembling with a quiet reverence as it gave itself over to your hands. Beomgyu watched as the petals slipped from your fingertips into the boiling water, the surface of the potion shimmering like moonlight caught in a pool. The fragrance was delicate and strange, a mingling of snow and something sweet, something that made him think of distant summers he had never known. He could not look away. You poured the shimmering liquid into a small metal mug, your hands steady as though you had done this a thousand times before. The way you cradled the cup was almost tender, like a lover’s touch or the gentle promise of dawn. And then, without hesitation, you lifted it to your lips and drank. 

The effect was immediate, a soft bloom of light that spread across your skin in a sigh of blue. It was a color he had never seen before, the deep, pulsing blue of glaciers and ancient seas, a color that seemed to hold the memory of every winter that had ever been. You laughed, a sound like bells, like the first breath of spring, and began to dance. Beomgyu’s breath caught in his throat as he watched you. You moved with a grace that defied the cold, your feet barely stirring the snow as you spun and twirled, arms lifted to the moon’s soft gaze. The glow of your skin lit the clearing, a quiet miracle that made the whole world seem to hold its breath. He laughed too, the sound slipping from him like a confession, soft and awed and full of wonder. 

It was not a laugh of mockery — no, never that. It was the laugh of a man who had stumbled upon something so beautiful, so impossibly bright, that he could not help but be humbled by it. You were a secret the forest had been keeping from him, a miracle that had bloomed in the snow and laughter that made the cold seem soft. You did not see him. Or if you did, you gave no sign, lost in the music only you could hear. The firelight painted your face in shades of gold and shadow, the blue glow of your skin a quiet defiance of winter’s hush. Beomgyu watched as you lifted your arms to the sky, fingers splayed wide, as if you were trying to hold the stars in your palms. 

For a moment, he imagined what it would be like to step from the shadows and into the circle of your dance. To feel the glow of your skin beneath his fingers, to share in the secret you carried like a promise. But he stayed hidden, content to watch and let the memory of your laughter etch itself into the deepest parts of him. The night stretched on, a quiet river of stars and snow. Beomgyu leaned against the rough bark of a pine, his breath a pale mist in the cold, and let himself be consumed by the wonder of you. And in the quiet spaces of his mind, memories began to rise, memories of another fire, another cold night, long before he had known your name.

He remembered the hush of the royal halls, the stone walls that had never felt like home. He remembered his father’s voice, sharp and cold as the winter wind, each word a blade that cut deeper than any frost. He had always known he was not the king’s son. It was a truth that lived in the hush of the servants’ footsteps, in the way his father’s gaze slid past him as though he were nothing but a shadow. The way his hand would rise to strike Beomgyu’s cheek when he would say the wrong thing. Beomgyu was a reminder of another man’s love, a love the queen had known before she had been bound to the king’s cold hand. But there had always been Kai. 

Kai, with his gentle smile and quiet strength. Kai, who had never let the chill of the kingdom seep into his soul. When the nights were at their coldest, it was Kai who would slip into Beomgyu’s room, his hands warm and steady, his voice a soft murmur of comfort. “It is not your fault,” Kai would whisper, each word a promise, a shield against the darkness. “You are loved, brother. You are loved.” And in those moments, Beomgyu could almost believe it. 

But tonight, as he watched you dance in the snow, the memory of his brother’s voice felt like a distant echo. You were a new kind of warmth, a light that had nothing to do with the cold halls of Silvertheed or the shadows that had always haunted him. You were laughter and magic, a song that belonged to the moon and the snow and the quiet ache of his own heart. He did not understand you — not even a little. But he did not need to. The forest seemed to hold its breath around you, each tree a silent witness to the miracle you wove with every step. And Beomgyu, hidden among the shadows, felt something inside him begin to thaw. 

For so long, he had carried the weight of his father’s hatred, the cold truth of his own blood like a stone in his chest. But here, in the hush of snow and moonlight, he felt that weight begin to lift, if only for a moment. He did not know what you were, or what magic you had wrapped around yourself like a second skin. But he knew this: you were something bright in a world that had always felt too dark. 

The night grew old around him, the stars a pale river above the trees. Beomgyu watched until the last embers of your fire died down, until the glow of your skin faded into the hush of dawn. You sat then, quiet and still, your head bowed as though in prayer. The blue glow had ebbed from your skin, leaving only the pale curve of your shoulders and the soft spill of your hair. For a moment, he wondered what you were thinking. If you knew he was there, a shadow among the shadows, watching with a reverence he could not name. Then, before the first light of day could slip through the trees, he turned and fled.

The snow swallowed the sound of his footsteps, and the forest closed around him like a secret. The cold bit at his skin. It was a promise that he was still here, still alive, and that this moment had been real. As he walked back to the castle, the memory of your laughter clung to him like a breath of summer, a warmth he carried into the cold stone halls. And though he did not know what magic burned in your blood, he knew one thing for certain: he would return. He would return to the forest, to the hush of snow and the glow of your skin. He would return to the place where the world seemed to breathe in color and light, and where he, too, could be something more than the king’s unwanted son. He would return, again and again, until he could name the magic that had bloomed in his heart the first time he heard you sing. 

The next night, the cold was even sharper, the moon a pale blade that cut through the darkness and laid the forest bare. Beomgyu moved through the snow with a quiet purpose, each step a prayer to the mystery that had taken root in his heart. The memory of your laughter was a ghost at his shoulder, a warmth that had no place in the winter’s chill. He did not know what it was that drew him to you; whether it was the way your magic bloomed beneath your skin or the simple wonder of seeing something so bright and wild in a world that had always felt too sharp. But he knew this: he had to see you again. 

So he went back, moving through the dark like a promise, the hush of snow beneath his boots a secret shared only with the night. The forest opened around him, the pines heavy with frost, each branch a quiet sentinel that watched his passing with a patience that had no end. He did not know that he was not alone. In the hush of his thoughts, in the quiet ache of wonder that pulled him forward, he did not hear the faint rustle of footsteps behind him. He did not see the flicker of movement, the shadow that slipped between the trees like a wraith. 

Kai was there, his brother’s steps as silent as snowfall, his gaze a quiet flame that burned with questions he did not yet have the words to ask. He had watched Beomgyu all day, had seen the way his brother’s thoughts had drifted far from the stone walls of the castle and the weight of the king’s cold gaze. Kai had seen the wonder in Beomgyu’s eyes, the soft light that had never belonged to the kingdom of Silvertheed. And so he followed, silent and unseen, the bond of blood and brotherhood a thread that pulled him through the night. 

Beomgyu moved as though the forest itself was a dream, each breath a hush of wonder that quickened in his chest. He thought only of you, of the way the light had danced across your skin and the laughter that had made even the snow seem warm. He reached the clearing just as the first flicker of firelight began to bloom in the dark. You were there, as he had known you would be, your hair a dark river that spilled over your shoulders, your hands gentle as you plucked the flowers from your skin. The ritual was the same; petals and fire and the soft hush of your song, but tonight, there was something different in the way you moved.

Your eyes were distant, your fingers trembling just slightly as you fed the fire with the blooms that grew like a promise beneath your skin. The potion simmered in the small metal pot, the steam rising in slow, lazy curls that vanished into the cold. Beomgyu’s breath caught in his throat. He had thought he was prepared for this, for the quiet wonder of your magic and the wild grace of your dance. But tonight, there was something else, a shadow in your gaze, a weight in the way you held the cup to your lips.

You drank, as you had before, the glow of blue light blooming across your skin in a sigh of wonder. But tonight, your laughter was softer, almost sad, the dance you wove around the fire a quiet defiance of some sorrow he could not name. He watched, his heart a silent drum in his chest, each beat a question he could not ask. And in the hush of snow and moonlight, he did not see the shadow that watched with him, Kai’s breath a soft mist in the cold, his eyes dark with worry.

Kai saw the way Beomgyu’s gaze followed you, saw the wonder and the ache that lived in the spaces between each breath. He saw the way his brother’s hands clenched at his sides, as though he was fighting the urge to step forward, to break the hush of the forest and let the world know he was there. He understood, though Beomgyu had not said a word. He understood the pull of magic and mystery, the quiet ache of wanting something so bright it hurt to even look at it. And he felt the first flicker of something else — something that lived in the quiet spaces of his own heart, something that made him wonder what it would be like to feel the warmth of your laughter, the soft glow of your magic against his own skin.

But he said nothing. He stayed hidden, a shadow among the pines, his breath a silent promise that he would watch and wait, even if he did not yet understand what he was waiting for. In the clearing, you danced with the fire, your blue-lit skin a miracle that made the night itself seem to hold its breath. And Beomgyu watched, his heart a quiet bloom of wonder and fear, each beat a prayer that this moment would never end.

The forest was a cathedral of silence, the snow beneath their feet a quiet hymn to the cold. And in that hush, two brothers stood in the shadows, bound by blood and the quiet ache of a magic they could not yet name. And you, in the center of it all, were a song that had no words, a promise that the world was still full of wonder, even in the hush of winter’s breath. 

Beomgyu once again found himself hidden behind a great pine, his breath a silver mist in the winter night, his heart thrumming a hymn of wonder and ache. You sat across from him, your small frame hunched over a log, the crackling fire’s glow painting your skin with flickers of gold and shadow. Your hut loomed behind you, a shape of secrets and solitude that rose like a phantom in the snow’s hush. Your shoulders trembled with quiet sobs, the sound of your tears lost to the hiss and crackle of the flames. Beomgyu watched, each tear that slid down your cheek a glimmer of sorrow that caught the moonlight like dew. He did not know why it hurt him so, to see you cry. You were a stranger, your name a mystery, your story written in a language of petals and magic he could not yet read. And yet, something in him ached to bridge the distance between you, to cradle your sorrow in his hands as though it were a fragile bloom that needed only the sun to open.

He did not know what it was that drew him to you; whether it was the quiet glow of your skin, the flowers that bloomed like whispers of beauty beneath your touch, or simply the hush of your song that still lingered in his thoughts like a memory of something long lost. All he knew was that he wanted to be close to you, to offer the warmth of his presence against the cold hush of your tears. He stepped forward, just a breath, just enough to taste the promise of closeness. But before his foot could find purchase in the snow, a sharp crack split the air, a branch breaking under weight not his own. Beomgyu froze, his breath catching in his throat like a secret. In the same heartbeat, your head lifted, your eyes wide and searching in the darkness.

He turned, and his breath left him in a rush of frost. Kai stood there, his brother’s face pale in the moonlight, his dark eyes wide with surprise and apology. Beomgyu’s heart stumbled at the sight—he had been so sure he was alone, so lost in the pull of your sorrow that he had not noticed the presence of the one who had always been his shadow, his silent witness. You stood, your body taut as a bowstring, the tears still fresh on your cheeks but your gaze sharp and wary. The fire crackled between you all, the hiss and pop of burning wood a chorus to the sudden hush that had fallen over the clearing. 

For a moment, none of you moved; three hearts caught in the hush of winter, three souls bound by secrets and the quiet ache of what had just been revealed. Beomgyu’s mouth opened, words a tangle in his throat that he could not find the courage to speak. His brother’s eyes met his, dark with a thousand questions that neither of them knew how to ask. And then your voice, soft as the hush of snow falling in the dark. “Who are you?” you said, your words trembling like the branches that shivered beneath the weight of frost. 

Beomgyu stepped forward, his hands half-raised in a silent plea. “I—my name is Beomgyu,” he said, the words a sigh of truth in the cold night. “And this is my brother, Kai.” His voice faltered, the weight of your gaze a quiet thunder in his chest. “We…we didn’t mean to startle you.” Kai moved beside him, his presence a quiet anchor in the storm of uncertainty. “Forgive us,” he said, his voice a low warmth that contrasted the chill of the night. “We didn’t mean to intrude. We…we were only curious.” 

The hush that followed was heavy with possibility, each breath a question that waited to be answered. You looked between them, your eyes dark with the shadows of things you did not yet trust to share. And Beomgyu, his heart a quiet storm, found himself caught between the wonder of your magic and the silent echo of his brother’s presence at his side. 

The quiet of the forest seemed to cradle you all in a hush, a sanctuary of frost and shadows, the fire’s glow a heartbeat between you. Beomgyu and Kai stood close together, two figures cut from moonlight and winter breath, their princely faces made softer by the hush of the night and the wonder of your presence. You stood across from them, your hair a dark halo of wildness, stray flower petals tangled in its knots, your skin glistening with the tears you had not yet wiped away. The question in Beomgyu’s eyes was a soft ache, a quiet pull he could not name, but it was Kai who gave it voice. 

“What are you?” Kai asked, his tone gentle, like a child asking the forest to tell its secrets. His eyes, so like Beomgyu’s but calmer, steadier, shone with a wonder that made your heart tremble. Your shoulders hunched slightly, as if the question itself weighed upon you. “I don’t know,” you said softly, the words tasting of truth and sadness. “All I know is that I’ve always been…like this.” You raised a hand, and from your palm bloomed a small flower; blue as the night sky, fragile as a sigh. “At night, they come. From my skin. They have…power.” Your voice faltered, and your eyes turned down to the flickering fire. “Sometimes they change how I feel. Sometimes…how others feel.” 

Beomgyu watched, his breath caught in the hush of your confession. The way you spoke; soft and careful, as if every word was a petal you had to coax to bloom. He wanted to reach out, to take your hand and tell you that it was alright, that your strangeness was a wonder and not a curse. But he stayed still, his heart a quiet storm in his chest. “Please,” you whispered, your gaze darting between them, your voice suddenly urgent. “Don’t tell anyone. They’ll come for me. They always do. They’ll say I’m cursed, or that I’m a witch. I don’t want… I don’t want to be hunted again.” Your words cracked like ice underfoot, and the memory of your tears glistened in the glow of the fire. 

Kai stepped closer, his hand lifting as if to touch your shoulder, but he hesitated. “We won’t tell anyone,” he said, his voice the gentle hush of a promise. “We swear it.” Beomgyu nodded, his throat tight with the weight of your fear. “You’re safe with us,” he said, and he meant it. Even if he didn’t yet understand why, even if he didn’t know what the pull in his heart meant, he knew he would not let harm come to you.

For a moment, the three of you stood in a hush of snow and breath, the fire’s crackle the only sound in the world. Beomgyu’s gaze drifted to your clothes; threadbare and dirt-smudged, a cloak of tattered wool that did little to shield you from the cold. Your skin, though glowing softly in the firelight, was streaked with the dust of the forest, your nails rimmed with soil as if you had clawed your way from the earth itself. He wondered, suddenly, how long you had lived like this, alone in the woods, your hut no more than a shadowy refuge, your days marked by the hush of fear and the gentle bloom of your strange magic. His heart twisted, the ache of it a quiet song he could not ignore. 

It was Kai who spoke the words that would change everything, his voice soft but sure. “Would you like to come with us?” he asked, the question simple and gentle, like a hand offered in the dark. Beomgyu’s eyes widened, surprise flickering like a flame in his chest. He had not expected it, this sudden kindness from his brother. But then again, Kai had always been the gentler one, the one who wore his heart on his sleeve like a badge of honor. Beomgyu, with all his jagged edges and quiet ache, had never known how to offer such kindness so easily.

You looked up at Kai, your eyes wide and uncertain, the firelight turning them to pools of shadow and wonder. “I… I couldn’t,” you said, your voice trembling. “I don’t belong in a place like that. And I have nothing to give you in return. No gold, no… no power that could be of use to you.” Kai’s lips curved into a small, tender smile. “We don’t need anything from you,” he said. “We’re princes. We have enough gold to last a hundred lifetimes. We only ask because… no one should have to live alone in the cold. You deserve warmth, and a place to belong.”

Your breath caught, a soft hitch of disbelief. Beomgyu watched the wonder and confusion that flickered across your face, the way you bit your lip as if you were afraid to hope. He understood that feeling all too well; the ache of wanting something so badly that you were afraid to reach for it. He found himself stepping closer, his voice low but sure. “My brother means it,” he said, his eyes meeting yours with a quiet intensity. “If you come with us… we will keep you safe. We won’t ask you for anything you can’t give.” 

You looked between them, your gaze lingering on Beomgyu’s face for a breath longer than it lingered on Kai’s. In that moment, he felt something shift in the hush of the night, an invisible thread binding the three of you together, woven from the hush of snow and the crackle of fire and the quiet wonder of a girl who could grow flowers from her skin. For a moment, you looked as though you might refuse. Your shoulders tensed, your eyes shuttered like the closing of a door. But then your breath left you in a soft sigh, and you nodded, just once, the motion small and delicate as the unfurling of a petal. 

“Alright,” you said, your voice a whisper. “I will come with you.” Relief flickered across Kai’s face, a gentle warmth that softened the angles of his jaw. Beomgyu felt it too, a quiet loosening of the ache in his chest, though he did not know why. He only knew that the sight of your soft, uncertain smile in the glow of the fire felt like the first bloom of spring after a winter that had seemed endless.

Kai stepped forward, his hand outstretched. “Come,” he said, his voice a soft beacon in the hush of the night. “We’ll bring you home.” You hesitated only a moment before you took his hand, your fingers cold and small in his. Beomgyu watched as Kai’s thumb brushed gently across your knuckles, a quiet promise in the softness of his touch. And then the three of you turned away from the clearing, the fire’s glow fading behind you as you stepped into the hush of the forest.

The snow fell in slow, lazy drifts, the moon’s light painting the world in a hush of silver and shadow. Beomgyu fell in step beside you, his eyes tracing the curve of your cheek, the small smile that lingered there like a fragile bloom. He did not speak, but in the quiet of the night, he let his presence be its own kind of promise, silent, but sure. Beside him, Kai’s hand still held yours, his warmth a gentle anchor in the cold hush of the world. And though Beomgyu did not yet know what lay ahead, what this night had set in motion, what magic and ache and wonder would bloom from the meeting of three hearts in the winter’s dark, he knew that something had shifted. Something had begun. 

In the distance, the castle of Silvertheed rose like a dream against the horizon, its spires dark and glistening with frost. Beomgyu felt a quiet thrill in his chest as they approached it — an ache of wonder and uncertainty, a hush of possibility that felt as bright and fragile as the flowers that bloomed on your skin. And in the hush of that winter night, as you walked between the two brothers, your breath a soft fog in the cold air, the first threads of a story began to weave themselves into the world; threads of magic and mystery, of sorrow and wonder, of love that would not be denied. 

(♬) - @beomiracles @biteyoubiteme @hyukascampfire @dawngyu @izzyy-stuff @1-800-jewon @xylatox

[chaoswritesthemultiverse]

How to Write a One-Shot that Punches You in the Dick like Chuck Norris

This post is entirely motivated by spite

Hello. This is a piece of writing by an actual human and not ChatGPT doing an impression of a human (do not look beneath the trench coat). There's been a post circulating on how to write a one-shot that is basically just c&p from ChatGPT so in the spirit of being a petty motherfucker I got annoyed and started typing and this is what came out. My qualifications to give this advice are: 1. Not a robot (that I know of) 2. I've written a bunch of porn.

A one shot is a short story. However, short stories, as a form, are incredibly varied and malleable. Some of them, like flash fiction, are around 500 words, and I've seen one-shots that have managed to sustain themselves up to 20k words and didn't feel like they needed a chapter break! That's basically a novella. Impressive! Advice for flash fiction is highly unlikely - though not completely impossible - to translate over to a novella, so trying to give pat advice that suits both forms is going to be difficult and pretty futile. But I'll do it anyway because this is the internet and no one can stop me.

Maybe that's the first step?

Do a vibe check on your piece (aka form... ish) Feel out how long you want your one-shot to be. Mine usually land between 4-7k words which is about average for a short story and I'm a yapper. And if you're anything like me I don't mean plan the word count to the single digits, but have a vague idea somewhere in your mind if it's going to be a tiny little snapshot of an intense moment, in which case you probably want to go with flash fiction, or if it feels like you need more words to say what you want to say. Then once you start writing throw that idea out of the window because it's going to come out however it comes out and suddenly what you thought was only going to be 1000 words has ballooned into a 15k monstrosity and... you get the picture. Right?

Steal stuff* Not actual plagiarism!!! What the fuck is wrong with you??? I mean go back to your favourite one-shots by other authors (or maybe yourself, no shaming narcissism here I love my work) (that's a lie I am cripplingly insecure about my writing please validate me) and work out what you like about them. Is it the language? Characterisation? Structure? Theme? Really really hot smut that made your insides go 'ghdslsndjknsdfhhhh'? Chances are you're drawn to a specific technique or element of the craft and don't even know it. If you don't know force your fellow writer friends to read them and then grill them relentlessly about what they liked and then violently disagree with their obviously wrong tastes. Best way to work out what you like, imo. Then once you've done that you'll have an idea about what works for you, so you can do it your way. NOT COPYING.

Pick a theme or two Alright alright it's probably a decent idea to narrow down what you're writing about to a theme or set of central ideas of some kind. For me this is usually 'pegging' or 'face sitting' or 'spanking' or 'tentacles', but you go nuts with whatever inspires you. Then, for funsies, layer another theme on top. Like 'shame', or 'rebellion' or 'grief' or 'the auto-cannibalistic features of late-stage capitalism'. Even better if it's a theme that's a core feature of one or more of your characters. Example: first theme 'werewolf sex', second theme 'boredom'. Maybe one of the characters is really boring and beige and meeting and fucking a werewolf is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to them. Or maybe it's not and it happens all the time and they need to do something to break out of the rut? (heh, rut) (iykyk) Or MAYBE the werewolf is the boring one and the MC can only stand being around them because the sex is so good and it's the only time they stop talking about crypto?! See, three different short stories already waiting to be written for you right there. Have these prompts. They're for you. Enjoy them.

You don't need to explain everything, or actually anything at all The great thing about a one-shot is you don't have to explain shit to anybody. You're already in the Situation, and your readers are just going to have to deal.

"I can't believe you're horny right now!" Verbenia yelled, clawing at her leg. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you missed that trap on purpose!" Arblerboth sighed, sheepishly adjusting his unfortunate erection. With hindsight, the bear trap had been pretty obvious. He wasn't sure how either of them hadn't noticed the moment they stepped into the cave.

See what I did there? No explanation for why they're in a cave, why they're travelling together, what they're up to, or about Arblerboth's secret bear-trap fetish (it's about the trap not the blood it's a pretty unusual fetish but hey rule 34). But you were invested, right? All the world-building and intricate dynamics and stuff are for you and with a short story they stay as inside thoughts, to be expressed through character action and interaction with the setting - which you also don't have to explain because they're already there. This goes double for fanfiction because everyone reading it will already know the world and setting and characters and you don't need to rehash it.

Now here's where I told a big lie about that last piece of advice because I once spent 2k words explaining how my MC created a magical strap-on before I even got to her pegging anyone with it. But I guess I didn't explain the magic system she was using to make it? Idk.

Google 'how to write a short story' I'm actually serious with this one, there's a ton of excellent articles and resources out there by some brilliant published writers who have written some fantastic short stories. If you're too lazy to type out that sentence c&p it from this post. Take the advice you like and leave the rest.

and finally... WRITE IT.

Soz. You have to do writing to be good at the writing. Sucks, doesn't it?

So there it is, take it or leave it, I'm just someone on tumblr with a keyboard and way too much time on my hands. I'm sorry this post isn't full of easy to action but ultimately meaningless unhelpful clickbait points like "limit the timeline" (you can write an amazing one-shot that spans decades) or "choose one emotion" (we contain multitudes, apparently, have you heard of meta-emotions? Get ready to have your feelings blown out your ass baby), or "use a 3-part/act structure" (there are many different structures to drama - what about 5 parts? or 2? Go check out Aristophanes he's got some wild shit to show you, what a madlad), or "write like it's the last thing you'll ever write" (if this is the last thing I ever write then I hope whatever kills me is fucking awesome like teaching a shark to jet ski while wielding a longsword or something because no way this was worth it) (actually the salt water of the ocean would be really bad for a longsword that's a horrible idea).

Oh and use em-dashes. Every - where. All - over the place - if you like them - maybe you hate them - whatever use them anyway. I fucking love an em-dash. ✌️

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x14, "sex kills"

will i be making the argument that the STD-ridden heart transplant is another marker of wilson's compulsive heterosexuality? keep reading to find out (yes).

another oops! moment, and this time it's all wilson.

in the midst of my thrill over the very end of this episode, i forgot that, overall, i'm not it's biggest fan. i think the patient story is so wild that it deserves more time in the spotlight to be even remotely believable, but instead it's reduced to, very simply put, the bodily dangers of sex lol. but hey - just about anything is better than 2x13.

the flipside of the episode's ethos of "sex kills" is the question of impulse control - do we have it? is it strong enough to suppress or basest desires? can we even go without those basest desires? house md banks more on nurture over nature (and don't think otherwise! house wants us to believe in nature's primacy! but dammit, house does change! he can be nurtured!), but not without some pushback and resistance all encompassed in cheater extraordinaire: early seasons james wilson.

the episode begins and ends with the zenith of wilson's relationship issues, which house pokes and prods at to no end. at first, nothing happens that we don't already know about: wilson has been cheating on and off on his wife, hasn't spent enough time at home, etc., implying that he has no impulse control. the satisfying twist at the end is that julie has been having an affair all along, anyways, but more on that later.

also important to note is that, when first confronted with house's interest in his cheating, wilson claims that "it's not all about sex, house." he's obviously being facetious here and blindly hoping that julie will accept that his feelings for her, rather than just his infidelity, will absolve him. as i'll expound on, 2x14 then goes on to MOSTLY confirm that most everything is about sex...but please stay tuned because i have so much to say about the scene where wilson finally admits this. look at this mf:

anyways. the most insane part of this episode isn't just the fact that they transplant a gonnorhea-ridden heart into the primary patient, henry, but that the donor's husband, ronald, admits at the eleventh hour that he's the one who gave laura the STD, effectively killing her. what kills me about this, apart from its general lunacy, is that this attempts to absolve wilson later on. poor cameron, having to hear this batshit confession.

not only does the laura/ronald debacle debacle between laura/ronald confirms that not only is it (human relationships) always about sex, but that sex trumps rationality. had ronald just told the team that he'd given her gonnorhea, so much could have been avoided. there's something exceptionally disgusting about him vicariously using laura's body to absolve himself, as though if her physical form can do a good deed based on his decision, then he gets some forgiveness out of the equation. it's irrational!

meanwhile, however, the main patient and recipient of laura's STD-ridden heart is henry. the team has myriad diagnoses for him, high among the list some kind of STD. when they find that the issue is in his heart, henry is too old to move up the transplant list, so house goes off the books and selects an inviable heart that they cure after the fact.

one of my favorite pieces of this episode is what he says to house after confessing that he's slept with his estranged wife: "if you're not prepared to look stupid, then nothing great is ever gonna happen, right?"

first, henry argues that even if sex comes at the cost of rationality, is that always a bad thing? but, secondly, this statement cuts right through house's relationship troubles thus far. his impermeable defenses prohibit him for having any meaningful connections; the times he's shown vulnerability have either gone up in smoke, or only come from his agonizing pain. the messaging between ronald and henry is kinda awkward here, but i love how house synthesizes it by the end.

house indulges in some irrationality of his own in 2x14; clearly, henry's way of thinking has had at least some effect on him. when he appeals to the transplant committee and fails to preset adequate evidence for why henry deserves the heart, he goes on an uncharacteristic tirade about how the criteria they use to determine which lives are worth what. does he make excellent points? yes! does house believe in said points? absolutely not. his stance on abortion proves as much. but the rationale he gives for having made those points is fascinating: "i was advocating for my patient."

house bends over backwards advocating for henry in this episode, actually. he even takes a knee to the groin over it.

logic and physical pain reason that advocating for henry isn't worth it, and yet, house persists. and isn't there another dilemma that defies logic, that house can't seem to keep his nose out of?

house treats the impending demise of wilson's marriage with the same analytical lens that he does his patients, but with an undercurrent of emotional care that trumps logical reason. no matter how harsh he is, he's gonna advocate for the serial cheater who's brought all of this ruin unto himself, a lot like ronald brought this ruin onto himself.

departing from chronology for a second, i have to highlight another moment of stupidity on wilson's part. why would he appeal to house like this?

"does it occur to you that maybe...a friend might value concern over glibness? that maybe i'm going through something that i need to have an actual conversation about?"

girl. shut the hell up. you've been saying for the last 36 episodes that house (and the show at large tbh) is about actions over words. of course house isn't going to talk you through this. house's resulting expression says exactly what we're all feeling:

not to fret: we're reminded, yet again, of actions over words when wilson shows up uninvited at house's place, bags packed, and house invites him in. he doesn't even make a "glib" comment about how he was right all along, that the marriage was on its way out. very "do i wanna know" cover by hozier of them.

i'd even argue that this is a callback to henry's earlier declaration that we shouldn't be afraid to be stupid. wilson does look dumb and naive standing in the doorway, dumber still for having the gall to be sad over a relationship that failed mostly by his hand. but there's always a soft place to fall; he knows that.

now for the real meat of my thoughts on this episode:

the deeper i get into this rewatch, the more i am enthralled with how wilson conceptualizes relationships because it is so limited. as i've said before, everything is transactional to wilson, and he anticipates that everyone around him expects him to give A so that he can yield B. in his marriages, his A is formulaically fulfilling emotional neediness; their B is sex. it sure sounds like i'm characterizing a deranged sociopath!

so why is he so insistent that there's a chance that not everything has to be about sex, and why is he so sad that 2x14 argues for the opposite? i think that wilson wants so badly to break the mold he's cast for himself (sorta sex-crazed), and the idea that he, the king of loving neediness away, wasn't enough to satisfy julie really messes him up.

house is even shocked to hear that julie was the one who decidedly cheated on him. i can't handle this expression:

they're intentional about using the word "affair," an arrangement that wilson treats as a personal failure. wilson is not angry here. he's disappointed in himself.

walk with me here lol. henry's first (incorrect) diagnosis is testicular cancer. it's meant as a joke, but it's not for nothing that henry is so horrified over the specter of male sexual dysfunction in an episode that wants us to believe that sex trumps rationality and impulse control. in henry's eyes, if he can't provide sex, then what can he offer his ex wife? how can they continue their relationship?

if wilson can't offer sex to julie, then how can they continue their relationship? in his mind, where everything is sex, not neglect, emotional distance, or anything else, no sex = no relationship. wilson has ceased to be functional.

henry gains his sexual function back via an organ that's poisoned against him. he didn't get an STD through irresponsible sex/irrationality, but he inherited it. the heart is the symbolic center for love (thanks, HH/WH), and in 2x14, the heart wins out over the head time and time again re: sex trumps all. thus, we can explain wilson's sexual dysfunction along similar lines, sans the STD. wilson has "failed" his sexual obligations to julie because heterosexuality is unnatural. he inherited it via social expectations. the heart that wilson has is poisoned against him.

case and point - once henry is rehabilitated, his heart will work and he can resume his relationship with his ex wife. wilson's version of rehabilitation is showing up at house's door, away from social expectations and, if you'd indulge me, heteronormativity. house and wilson's domesticity is one of house md's longest standing devices, after all.

this is also why 8x09 is so special to me. wilson is so desperate to understand love in the absence of (heterosexual) sex. it's pathological.

don't even get me started on how wilson can't get it up when he's drunk in later seasons. i'll cross that bridge come season 4.

[infinitydivine]

Stop!!! If you have been hiding yourself, this message is for you 🫵🏻

Sorry, people, first of all, I didn't mean to scare anyone by the title lol, but anyways, the message felt kind of important to share. I was minding my business doing something, but then I started to scroll on Tumblr, and then a few words hit me out of nowhere. I was supposed to be doing paid readings for the people, but these words felt urgent too, so I sat quietly and heard what the spirits were telling me. I wrote it down bit by bit and summarised the paragraph~~~(Also, hello to everyone)

✨It’s time. And not in the rushed, pressuring way the world sometimes shouts at us, but in that deep, soul-knowing kind of way. You can feel it, can’t you? That low yet you know exciting feeling in your chest that keeps reminding you. that you're not meant to keep hiding. You’ve been playing hide and seek with your own truth, waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect version of yourself, or someone else to say, "Now it’s safe." But that moment isn’t coming from out there. It’s coming from within. The time has already arrived. No more hiding your truth behind closed doors. No more dimming your light just to be accepted, especially by others who don't see the real you. You weren’t born to blend in or shrink yourself down. You came here to be real, to be bold, to live fully as you. So let yourself take up space. The world is already so big, and you, a tiny huma,n can fit in anywhere you want. Let yourself be seen and chosen, especially by you. You don’t need to have everything figured out,yet. You just need to be honest with yourself and start showing up. This part of your story asks you to stop waiting, stop doubting, and finally answer the call. You are not too much. You are just right for this moment. And my loves, you don’t have to play small anymore. The world is ready for the real you, and deep down, you know you are too.✨

I hope this message will resonate with someone...anyone, even if its just one person. I wish you guys a good day/night.

Masterlist -Paid Readings-Paid Readings Reviews-PAC Readings-My Patreon

[simpy-simpers]

Day 10! Memory

WOW!!! That was difficult

sorry for the potato quality, it had to be that way lmbo

in order for google to see that one first

some of the anatomy pisses me off but otherwise I like the shading.

More detail on the piece below!!

All the versions!! I wanted the part without shading because honestly I love most of the lineless-ish work on it. (some of these have barely any difference but that's ok)

Can't do much right now, I'll say more later but I've been pretty busy recently!! I've got to go NOW

Bye bye! stay simping I'll be back

Edit!!!!

Hi there I wanted to add a bit more about it in case anyone wants to know.

I've debated about the og Roxy and Bonnie being really close, mainly because Freddy already has a huge arc going on with him and I want to make the others more interesting. Freddy is in his "holy shit I'm not actually just an ai", Monty is in his self-sabotage-esk phase, Chica is in debate, Foxy is uh.. well that's spoilers (but if you read the fic you'd know!!!)

idk idk

Bonnie is an entirely new ai, not the one from the previous Glamrock Bonnie like the others. He's got a whole new outfit, a new instrument, but the same face. The same smile. The same laugh.

Maybe that face has more detail, more expression than the last, but it's still the same one she knew.

wowie!!

anyway Roxanne is still in a debate for her arc and development over the story but that's okkk

In a little place in my heart I'd debate shipping them but I don't exactly know how I'd write that dynamic, but anyone else can feel free to.

bleghhhh byeeee

[artisimpossible]

99% of Trad Pub: The goal of a good book is to use an easy to relate to character as a lens to explore profound plots and interesting experiences.

Me: The goal of a good book is to use interesting events to fully lay bare the depths of the souls of people who represent the weirdest little fuckers the world has to offer.

[wandixx]

"There is only so much you can for the dead" part 2

continuation to this, I should probably make an original title at some point

trigger warnings: graphic describtion of Danny's death

Moments of blissed, deadly stillness felt unfairly short. It was less than blink of an eye, less than a drop of darkness after he asked Team for the last time to leave and before he woke up, in exactly same state that he was when portal spat him out. He could barely perceive his limbs, and what he could, was consumed by agonising pain.

Fuck, he hated Death Days. Absolutely horrible experience.

His nerves were on fire, electricity dancing and burning across them. His veins and lungs and nostrils and ears and stomach and eyes and mouth and every little crevice of his body was filled with ectoplasm, like liquid fire and evaporated ice, drowning him at every attempted breath. He was crushed by an unimaginable weight, at the same time as his body exploded. He was just coherent enough to feel his bones breaking, cells bursting, his very molecules being rearranged and destroyed and rebuilt but not coherent enough to tell if his scream was anything louder than a whimper.

He was in the middle of the crowd that screamed louder than he could handle, as if every person who ever got to Ghost Zone used this exact moment to let out all of their anguish, hands dragging and pulling and squeezing and brushing at every inch of his skin. He was alone like no one was ever before, in silence that was deafening. He could be stomped to death any second without anyone turning his head, and so separate from everything that he could be only existing being.

He couldn’t help but wait for Death, merciless and brutal, whose twisted children invaded his bed time stories since he could understood words, whose corrupted children he was taught to hate. She was hideous and horrifying, but against everything, she was familiar and he wanted, needed, to see one intimate face in the situation that was so wrong, wrong, wrong. He waited for her to rip his last breath away so everything would stop.

If he had a scrap of himself that could feel worse, it’d cry when he felt her getting away from him, slipping between the fingers that were both tense and limp, impossible to control but possible to feel, broken and twitching. She was getting away but pain wasn’t lessening, maybe even getting worse, to the point where it was only thing that filled his brain.

And then it all stopped. No pain, not even any left over typical to how injuries worked, just a moment of weird pressure against his palm (just like the button), that soon stopped too.

He was in his human form, but in the hazmat he wore just before the accident. Something was wrong about it all. Something in his body made it feel like not his. Something in his chest was too light and too quiet and some intrusive thought made him want to claw on his rib cage until he ripped it open and realized what was missing.

Breathing seemed to easy, enough that he got lightheaded. It got a lot harder when he realized.

He couldn’t feel his core.

Before he managed to come to terms with that, there was a gentle pressure on his hand again.

And the pain returned.

*-*-*

Danny didn't wake up abruptly, with a choked scream and phantom burns. He also didn't wake up slowly, not in the nice, relaxed way at least, when the line between dream and reality is blurred beyond recognition. He woke up in pain, feeling like he wasn't even sleeping before, just… somewhere else while his body was destroying itself again for what felt like decades.

It took some effort to connect with his body after he woke up. To be able to move even a finger. Even longer, to open his eyes. Actual ages to sit up without urge to scream.

After seeing the absolute wreckage of the room, he kinda wished it took him longer. It looked like a warzone. Electrical burns on the walls and ceiling, random puddles of bubbling ectoplasm eating away anything they touched like an acid, and what little stuff there was before, was almost all broken beyond recognition, either by whatever force was doing its thing during his death day show or ecto. When he looked at it a bit more, it seemed to go in spiral around him.

It was kinda sad that the cookies went to waste like that. He was curious who brought them in though.

Thank fucking Ancients that Team listened to him and nobody was there when the whole mess was going down. They would probably join him on the other side of the veil otherwise.

He saw it all only because of his ghost enhanced in dark vision (thank Ancients he stayed in the ghost form) because apparently his Death Day shorted out both main electrical circuit and the emergency one. Thankfully, according to his ears, it only reached this and rooms next to him, instead of the whole Mountain.

Fuck. He really hoped Robin gave him some sort of back-up back-up room because otherwise he was dead. Or well, dead-er.

He rolled out of the bed, barely catching himself from smacking on the floor like a sack of potatoes. Though some would argue he didn’t catch himself if only his face didn’t fall to the floor like the sack of potatoes.

Only then he caught sight of big, ecto-green circle that embed itself into the wall right over the bed. It had familiar vibes. Really familiar…

He had to tell the Team about it yesterday.

*-*-*

M'gann was sitting on the needles, just like everyone else. Sure, Phantom asked them to forget about him and essentially ignore whatever was happening to him, but there was no way they'd actually be able to do it. Case in point, first time alarms about shorting out of the electrical circuit in the room. They run there so fast that they had door open to see what was wrong before the absolute onslaught of electricity and ectoplasm and something else turned off the alarms thirty seconds later. Truth be told, they couldn’t do much, not without risking becoming second ghostly member of the Team, they’ve been there and ready. Conner tried to come in anyway, with his invulnerability and such, but they had to drag him out when despite extensive dodging he got hit five times by the time he got two steps into the room. Also, there wasn’t really anything he could do to help.

So they just spent last almost twenty hours alternating between different things to keep themselves occupied enough to not fall asleep and distract themselves from quilt but not enough to not be able to drop it at the moments notice if it was needed. First plan was to nap in shifts if it was necessary but it quickly became apparent that sleep was impossible with how worried everyone was and when M'gann proposed to just shut down their brains with her powers, everyone got really defensive. Well, no was no. So they just sat, at the moment in awkward silence because every topic that wasn't Phantom felt too inane and every topic that was Phantom felt too… just no. No name for why, just no.

M'gann was about to get up to make another batch of peanut butter and oatmeal snacks that took few minutes to make and could be dropped at any second, when Conner practically jumped in his seat, tilting his head to hear better. Robin perked up from whatever he was doing on his wrist computer at the same time.

"Phantom left the room!” they exclaimed at the same time, jumping out of their seats.

This head start didn’t matter by the time everyone ran or flew out to the corridor, racing against clock to the room where they left Phantom. It didn’t seems so before, but now M’gann just cursed their past selves for not waiting somewhere closer. There wasn’t really any place where they could stay instead, unless they set camp right outside his door, but it still. They should be there five minutes ago, like Wally, who obviously run off.

They heard Wally speaking before they’ve seen him.

“Hey, hey calm down. It’s fine, they’ll be there in a second, just chill. They’re right after me, whatever happened, we’ll help you in just a moment, you don’t have to run. You’re barely standing. Phantom, calm down”

M’gann barely made it around the corner and she thought she had seen Kaldur actually smacking into the wall. He brushed it off.

Phantom looked beyond rough. It seemed like Wally, who had ghost’s arm across his shoulders, was only thing holding him up. His feet were firmly on the ground, not in his usual way, when he looked just a breeze away from flying, but in this fully human way, which was unsettling. His face was gray instead of his usual almost tan, eyes wide and terrified.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he muttered, not looking at anyone in particular “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”

“Phantom, it’s fine. It’s fine, we know about the room, it’s fine,” Robin said, trying to placate him. It didn’t quite work. Ghost was on the verge of hyperventilating, which was a bit weird to see on someone for who breathing was voluntary.

“It’s not about room”

“I’m sure it’s fine anyway”

“It’s anything but. I’m sorry-”

“Shut up and tell us what happened if you’re so sure we will be pissed”

“Artemis!”

“Portal”

“What about it?”

“Portal is what killed me.”

M’gann didn’t like how the whole situation looked before, but it suddenly became much worse.

“My Death Day made another one”

[anna-scribbles]

thirteen update 💕💍🍽️🩸

chapter 5: february

summary:

“These things do not concern you,” Papa told him flatly. “I will run my household however I see fit. Your concerns are with your schoolwork and your modeling.” Blood pumped heavy and fast through Adrien’s heart. That wasn’t—fair. Concern was about all he was capable of these days. “And what about Maman?” Adrien asked, exhausted, reckless. “May I be concerned about Maman?” Something shifted on Papa’s face, all his emotions smothered in stone.

excerpt:

The best day of Adrien’s life was eight months and six days ago. No contest.

It was a crisp kind of cold that day, the Paris sky blooming a bright and brilliant blue overhead. The sun pierced right through the brisk February air, a shock of spearmint and adrenaline in his veins. He couldn’t stop widening his eyes, couldn’t stop smiling. The city was so alive. Strains of love songs poured out of open cafe doors and onto tourists, their hands full of red roses and lovers’ hands. The cobblestones sang with the patters of paired footsteps all down the street. It was the city of love always, but today especially. Today Adrien was made of the stuff, just bursting with it.

And, like every other day in the running for the best of his life, Marinette was there.

“You’d better not pull anything,” she warned, tightening her grip on his hand as they passed by a tourist couple looking very… engrossed with each other in the middle of the street. “And—and if you do, you have to tell me. Right now.”

Marinette’s brow was lightly furrowed, the bridge of her nose just barely scrunched up. Her hair was pulled half-back with a pink ribbon, matching the shade of the skirt she wore beneath her velvety black peacoat. Her Mary Janes clipped anxiously down the road and Adrien’s heart danced and swelled and spun in his chest.

“Pull something? Me?” Adrien stepped aside so their arms were outstretched, and then pulled at Marinette’s fingers, sending her tumbling back into his arms. She looked up at him, trying to frown, smiling. He grinned. “I would never.”

“I’m serious.” Marinette untangled herself from his arms and interlocked her fingers again with his. Her hand was the warmest thing in the world. She looked at him sternly, wagging a finger in his face. “I need to know so I can—prepare. Especially if it’s something crazy. No funny business.”

“Marinette,” he moaned, draping a wounded hand over his heart. One corner of his mouth quirked into a smile, eyes darting to meet her gaze. “You think I’m funny?”

She groaned. “I think you‘re—I think you’re ridiculous, and sappy, and romantic, and I think it’s Valentine’s Day in Paris”—this part she shouted, which drew a few stares—“and I think you’re about to take me on an insanely adorable date, and I think Alya took me to get my nails done last week—!”

“You’re so thoughtful,” Adrien remarked, swinging their hands back and forth. “And observant. What a beautiful mind you have, my lady.”

“You have to tell me,” Marinette insisted. She stopped them on the street and frowned at him, pink flushing the apples of her cheeks. “Is it—are you—?”

“Hm?” Adrien murmured, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. Marinette’s cheeks went ablaze.

“I—you—you know what I mean!” she spluttered. “Are you gonna…you know!”

He tilted his head to the side. “Am I…?”

read on ao3

[lovecatsys]

gonna be so for real i do not fucking care abt the first retcon in any way. laura not being a clone doesnt change the fact that she was created in a lab, whether Sarah gave birth to her or not she was still concepted in a lab, raised to be a killer, logan's dna was still used without his knowledge or consent, its not like he fucked Sarah lmao.

Meanwhile people have been using the "she's a clone of logan!" as an excuse for the fact that laura was whitewashed from her original adaptation (and so was Sarah.)

Like the only thing i kinda care abt is it takes away from her being basically canon intersex (her being female was result of a hormone imbalance!) but she can still be trans and intersex in my heart okay <3 (and its not like marvel was ever going to do a story abt that anyways)

I don't read DC but the other one seems racist and horrendous so i voted for that of course.

But yeah do not give a shit abt the Laura retcon and actually kind of prefer it.

[tyriongirl]

Genesis 4:1-5, translated by S. R. Driver, from The Book of Genesis, 1905

A Clash of Kings, Prologue - Maester Cressen

Emanuel Krescenc Liška – Cain (1885)

Claus Westermann, Genesis : a commentary, 1984

Arthur Segal - Kain und Abel (1918)

A Clash of Kings, Prologue - Maester Cressen

Natalie Diaz, A Brother Named Gethsemane, from When My Brother Was an Aztec

Lovis Corinth - Kain (1917)

Genesis 4:6-9, translated by S. R. Driver, from The Book of Genesis, 1905

A Clash of Kings, Chapter 33 - Catelyn IV

Odilion Redon - Cain and Abel (1886)

A Clash of Kings, Chapter 33 - Catelyn IV

Genesis 4:9-14, translated by S. R. Driver, from The Book of Genesis, 1905

A Clash of Kings, Chapter 31 - Catelyn III

St. Omer, Benedictine Abbey of St. Bertin; c. 1190-1200

A Storm of Swords, Chapter 36 - Davos V

S.R. Driver, The Book of Genesis, 1905

A Clash of Kings, Chapter 42 - Davos II

Lazzaro Pisani - Death of Abel (1885)

S.R. Driver, The Book of Genesis, 1905

A Clash of Kings, Chapter 42 - Davos II

A Clash of Kings, Chapter 42 - Davos II

Cain and Abel - City of Zeven - 2015 (source)

Genesis 4:14-16, translated by S. R. Driver, from The Book of Genesis, 1905

[charlie-rulerofhell]

Sed Proditionem || chapter I Proditores non laudo

{or read it here on AO3}

So I said fine, 'cause that's how my daddy raised me. If they strike once then you just hit them twice as hard.

* * *

It was cold. The kind of coldness that would not give a shit about the fact that April was almost over. The kind of coldness where one could easily sweat themselves to death at noon, only to be tortured with the ice-shaped fingers of a biting breeze as soon as the sun went down. The kind of coldness that made one wish themselves close to a crackling fireplace, wrapped in a heavy fur coat or a blanket of the thickest sheepskin, with a mug of hot wine in both hands.

Hans was shivering like a cobweb in a storm, and he would have killed to be at some fireplace and enjoy a mug of wine. His growing discomfort, however, had little to do with the coldness and more with this whole plan that was by far the stupidest he had heard in a long time.

When Henry had come back from Kuttenberg and told Hans about his meeting with Žižka, Hans had been overflowing with joy like a trough in the rain. Henry had beamed from the same happiness. There had been worry in his eyes, too, how could there not with the growing political instability in this country, and the two of them, once again, being pulled right into the middle of it? But his mouth had formed a bright smile when he talked about Žižka and Katherine, and the rest of the old pack, and Christ, how quickly that glee had spread over to Hans. The last time they had met up with Žižka must have been over a year ago. Katherine had paid her latest visit to Rattay even long before that, accompanying some trader that, apparently, her and Žižka were after at the time, for some reason only they under­stood. Samuel had stayed in Kolín for the past seven years do­ing God knew what, but Hans didn't doubt that it was highly important, or that at least Sam thought so. Henry had visited him occasionally when they passed by Kolín on their way to Podiebrad, but Hans had always been too tied up both in political and family affairs to join him for a meetup. And Kubyenka and Janosh? Shit, the last time he had seen these two must have been at his own wedding! They had all been there, blessed be their souls, even the Devil, lousily disguised as a fisherman, as half the land was still after him. And what a cele­bration it had been, with the lot of them! Hans couldn't remem­ber half of that night, and there could be no clearer indication that it had been a fantastic one. Žižka had started some philoso­phical debate about the shape of clouds, while the Devil had threatened to crush someone's skull in. Sausages had been men­tioned at some point, though not by Janosh, and then Sam had danced on a table, and Katherine was dressed in a nun's dress, and Kubyenka with two kittens? They had all gone down to the stream to take a naked bath in the moonlight, even Godwin, although he had found a horse somewhere that he had ridden through the water as if he was Saint George himself, and then Henry had almost drowned in that waist-high piss. Katherine had disappeared at some point, and when Hans had later re­turned to his chambers, he had found her there, together with Jitka. Doing girl things, they said.

He had missed these times. Had missed them dearly over the last seven fucking years. Had thanked God for his divine dis­pensation bringing them all back together now. And then Žižka had let them in on the current situation and on his brilliant plan, and Hans had craved nothing more than to return to Rattay right on the spot. To sit down in front of a fireplace with some hot wine. To forget all of this had ever happened.

The Devil was dead. That didn't come as a surprise, Hans had known for almost two years now. He had been a thorn in the flesh of the Kunštát family for a long while, fighting his battles against Sigismund's army and then against Albert IV of Austria, raiding both Austrian and Moravian land, then joining the troops of duke Albert's very own son, a boy hardly of age but already a strong supporter of King Sigismund. Nobody had shed a tear over Hynek of Kunštát's death, Jitka's father Bot­schek had even found it necessary to hold a small celebratory feast when he heard the news, and many toasts were spoken to Hynek's sudden demise. Hans hadn't said a word, because how could he have? To him there was no Hynek, no traitor in the family. The only man that existed for him was the Devil, and the Devil had been a fucking bastard, yes, a ruthless murderer, but also an ally by whose side Hans had fought, someone he had shared more drinks with than with any man at this feast, and certainly more laughs.

So the news about the Devil's death wasn't surprising in the slightest. What did surprise Hans, however, was that Žižka mentioned it at all. He hadn't even breathed a word of it when he last spoke to Henry a few days ago, or back then in Rattay when he had come to see them both, only a week after it had happened. “And what does it even matter?” he had said now, both hands pressed flat on the table, his brow deeply furrowed. “He had been fed up with the pack for a long time before, and he chose to fight his own battles, with or against us. We won't need him for this task, just as we haven't needed him for the last six years.”

Only that he lied. It did matter, to him just as much as to the rest of them, because this cursed affiliation of vagabonds had never been Žižka's, had never called itself Žižka's pack. It had been Dry Devil holding them all together like sticky honey, and now that he was gone, all the burden was tossed entirely on Žižka's shoulders, and he had fallen under the weight like Jesus under the cross. Of course Žižka knew that. It was evident from the way he had fixed his eyes on Henry as he tried to convince the two of them that he did in fact not need the Devil by his side. Christ's wounds, everyone in the room knew it! Janosh was fiddling around with the buckle of one of his belts as if he wanted to knead pastries out of it. Godwin had stared some­where into the distance, his mouth slightly agape, as if he was silently reciting some prayer. Katherine had her arms folded and her gaze on Žižka alone. No matter how hopeless every­thing seemed to become, at least she wouldn't go anywhere, she wouldn't leave Žižka's side.

Kubyenka's eyes had been on his feet that nervously tapped up and down, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, but when Žižka spoke these last words, the Fuck him, fuck the Devil, we will manage just as good without him, if not even better, Kubyenka had finally looked up and his expression was one of anger and pain. “Don't you dare shit on his name like that, Žižka. God knows I love you, like an estranged brother even, but if you speak one more word like that, I won't be hol­ding myself back.”

“What? Is it not true then? Have I lied?” Žižka's voice had been shaking from anger, too, but it wasn't directed at Kubyen­ka. “Has he not been leaving the pack alone, has he not been cuddling up with the very man we fought against lately?”

“So what? The Devil was doing what we all are doing! Ta­king his sword where it is best paid for. This is not about mo­rality, it never had been. And all your late travels to Prague to listen to that Jan Hus preaching won't change that. We are mer­cenaries, first and foremost, and you should understand that better than all of us. Or do you seriously believe we don't know what you were doing up there in our Polish neighbour's lands just some months ago? Cuddling up with the enemy.”

Hans had in fact not known about it, but it made everything a lot clearer. He had been right then. This was a desperate at­tempt of Žižka's to bring the pack back together. Driven by bro­ken pride and a failing search for his own path. And something else. Rejection.

Žižka had narrowed his eyes so much that the left one al­most disappeared completely behind the scar. “Well, the Ger­mans declined my offer.”

Kubyenka had laughed, and it had sounded all shallow, a taunting display of disdain. “Lucky for us then.”

They had exchanged a few more silent looks that were so heated the whole room had felt like the fire of Hell. Then Žižka had glanced over at Katherine, and she had nodded, and he had taken a deep sigh and returned to his explanations as if nothing had happened. With King Wenceslas's sovereignty still being questioned, not only by Sigismund now but by the church, too, and with Poland fighting for its lands in the north, Bohemia was in a delicate position. And in the midst of this chaos, Jan Hus had emerged as an opposing voice against the clergy and a friend of the common people like the Messiah on the third day. Hans had only nodded in agreement. This wasn't new to him at all, he had heard it before, in all different tones and harmonies. Had heard it from Henry, who was affected by Jan Hus's postulations directly as a peasant, and indirectly through his father's support of Hus's side, and through Godwin, who had moved to Prague for this specific cause while still trying to meet up with Henry as often as he could. Hans had heard it from all different noblemen around the country, some showing great interest in Hus's stance against the church, some fearing for their own status and power with the growing unrest of their people. He had also heard it from Hanush, who was more often than not travelling out on his own account these days. Visiting some lords whose territories had been pestered by the plague of war and upheaval. Kindly talking to them and offering help, was what he called it. Threatening and robbing might have de­scribed it better.

In Prague, Jan Hus was still holding his chair as the rector of the university, protected by King Wenceslas himself, but that position was fickle. After his continuing defiance of the arch­bishop's prohibition to preach, and with the growing pressure on the King by both the bishops and the Holy Father himself – one of God only knew how many there were at this point! – the King could not uphold his support much longer. The people, on the other hand, loved Jan Hus and his ideas. Of course they did. More freedom might have been the one principle every human in this world could agree on. And that love made Hus all the more hated by those in power.

“We need to point the way,” Žižka had said. “Make them understand that Hus's theories are the only sensible response to the church's superior power and this whole schism that we are currently stuck in. We need to light a metaphorical and literal beacon of reason in these times. So. The plan is simple.” And then he had proceeded to lay down in great detail a plan that was as far away from simplicity as it could possibly get.

Hans wrapped his arms tighter around his body, letting his gaze wander up and down the gorge that Žižka had selected for this scheme. It had become almost too dark to see, the trees up above them forming a wall of shadows against a clouded sky. Just a few moments ago, some church bells in the distance had tolled for the evening prayer. St. Matthew's church, Hans had thought in a touch of melancholy, and then quickly discarded the idea. The bells of the newly built church in Vranov more likely. If anything, they'd rather be able to hear the church bells of Rowna near Skalitz than those of Rattay.

His eyes wandered over to Henry whose face was now eerily illuminated by the light of a lantern he had lit. Hans had offered to avoid Skalitz on their way to the set place, but Henry had ba­nished the thought immediately. It was the fastest route, he had said, and even though they had used horses until reaching Jezo­nice, just a short walk away from here, they couldn't afford to dawdle. Besides, he had added with a weak smile, he didn't in­sist on spending any more time in this itchy priest's cassock than was absolutely necessary.

Still he had kept his eyes lowered for most of the road that led around the ruins of Skalitz. Him and Hans had visited the place around a dozen times over the past years. To have an eye on the reconstruction of the village that was only progressing at a painfully slow pace. It never got easier.

“So.” Sam's voice echoed through the clearing like a cannon shot. “Can we discuss the plan once more?”

“You want to make sure everyone knows his task?”

The look that Sam regarded his brother with was as dead as that of a corpse. It didn't help that it seemed like he hadn't got a single hour of sleep in the last three days, ever since his arrival in Kuttenberg. “Oh, I do not doubt that. I just wanted to hear it again because I am still certain I must have missed the part that made you agree to this whole stupidity in the first place.”

“It is far from stupid,” Godwin objected, and he sounded like he didn't believe a single word he said. “Playing with the gullibility of people is actually a fool-proof plan, if you ask me.”

“If you manage to lead the conversation to that crucial part where you can play your little magic trick.” Hans took a deep breath, shifting his weight so that he moved a little closer to Sam. It felt good having at least one sane person on his side. The feigned optimism of the others back in Kuttenberg had been unbearable! “And given that you can get this Father Tho­mas to stop and have a little chat with you.”

Henry smiled, and the shadows of the lantern's light turned it into the wicked grin of a mummer's mask. “We are two un­armed priests on a pilgrimage. What could possibly unsettle them about us?”

“I tell you what unsettles me.” Hans could feel the whole si­tuation slowly taking a toll on his patience. “The word un­armed in that sentence of yours.”

“Clearly a priest won't attack other men of the cloth.”

“Well, maybe not, until those men of the cloth start talking about this great Jan Hus fellow that they met in Prague the other day. And about how his words must clearly be guided by God, because he gave them this glass ball, you see, and it glows and explodes whenever someone is using the true words of God, so you can know that it is nothing but the word of God that Jan Hus is preaching!”

Henry and Godwin exchanged a silent look that screamed louder than Hans had. When he turned back to him, Godwin shrugged his shoulders. “Well, we might be able to phrase it a little bit more convincing.”

“What if they don't even show up here?”

“Then we haven't lost anything either.”

Hans shook his head in disbelief. “What if Father Thomas shows up with more than four armed men? What if that little explosion won't make them believe in some divine intervention but in a secret attack on them?” His eyes wandered up to a spot between the trees' shadows that he couldn't make out from down here, but he had seen it before in the fading sunlight, had inspected it closely and shaken his head over it. “What if I don't hit that tiny thing, at this time of night, from that dis­tance?” I know that this is not your battle to fight in, Žižka had told him back in the church attic in Kuttenberg, and I would prefer it if I didn't have to drag you into this. But I need you for this task. After all, you're the best marksman I have.

“You will be here with us,” Henry said, and his voice was so soft and calm that it might have convinced Hans of everything he could have said. “You two will be hiding up there with our weapons at the ready. And Kubyenka and Janosh will guard the other side of the gorge. Six skilled fighters will be more than enough against four mercenaries, and a priest who will be get­ting in their way more than he will actually help them. You might as well have killed them all with your crossbow before one of them even gets the chance to draw his sword.”

“And what if they come prepared?” Sam's fingers were wrapped tightly around the handle of his left dagger as if he was ready to draw it here and now. “What if this Schwarzfeld has guided us right into a trap?”

Godwin straightened the fabric of his priest's robe. He made it seem nonchalant, but the time he took to reply betrayed his whole act. “Katherine and Žižka have both talked to Schwarz­feld themselves, and very extensively, I might add. We know that he is a small German lord who has always enjoyed many privileges from our King, while he has a hard time with the church due to the high charges the bishop imposes on him. So it seems like he has a lot of reason to support our cause. Do I trust him?” He shrugged his shoulders again. It was strange, Hans thought, how little the priest robe he had worn for so long suited him these days, how much weaker and older it made him seem. “What do I know! But I trust Katherine and Žižka and both their judgments.”

Hans shook his head. He could feel the weight of the cross­bow that was tied to his belt and understood now why Sam had his hand placed firmly on his weapon. A little bit of comfort, a shelter in this thunderstorm. “The whole plan is still totally mad. More so than anything Žižka has come up with before.”

“Doesn't feel so mad to me.” Henry smiled again. His eyes were warm and honest. “After all, it's nothing but simple alche­my.”

“Given I can hit the glass, without it being noticed by the priest or his men, and that this paste you smeared on my bolts actually does something to this strange smoke inside that phial.”

“It's finest firedamp, gathered from the mines. And since Sam took care of it, I'm sure it will work.”

Sam let out a hiss through his teeth that sounded almost like he had just exploded himself. “This gas might be the only part of the plan that I am convinced of.”

“We don't need your conviction.” Godwin stepped forward, and his voice was loud, demanding. “All we need is for you both to do as you're told and fulfil your task. Of the rest we take care of. Understood?”

Hans rolled his eyes, shook his head, and answered with a mocking “Yes, commander”. There was nothing else to do. Godwin and Henry were all too adamant about this anyway.

The grass was wet and bitingly cold, as he crawled up the slope to where he was supposed to hide between the trees, with Sam by his side. There was a fallen tree up here, that had de­cayed during the cold winter days, crumbling under his weight as he sat down on it, but at least it would keep his arse dry. Sam seemed to have no need for that and rather stayed in a squatting position a few feet away, one hand still on his dagger, the other wrapped around a sheathed longsword. His father's sword, and Sam's only duty tonight. To throw it down to Henry as soon as the slightest form of trouble arose.

Sam looked like a cocked crossbow himself, Hans thought. Every muscle tightened, ready to snap and jump. Or perhaps not so much like a crossbow, actually, and rather like the very thing a crossbow would be pointed at. A hare, surrounded by the hunter and his hounds. Lips pressed together tightly, eyes squinted. His face was half covered by the shadows of trees and bushes, and the faint moonlight only enhanced the hollow­ness of his cheeks and the dark rings under his eyes. A hare perhaps, but a very tired one.

“This whole plan hasn't given you much rest either, eh?”

Sam kept his eyes solely on the road below them on the bottom of the gorge. He also looked like he was in no mood for a conversation, but that had never bothered Hans before, espe­cially not when his own nervousness made him seek out the comfort of talk more than ever. “What plan? This trickery that is entirely built on the trust in a man we barely know?”

“Well, from what I understand Schwarzfeld is closely tied to this Father Thomas, who is in turn a member of the Prague sy­nod, the very one who stands strongly against Jan Hus, so he seems to be a suitable candidate to perform our trickery on. And since Schwarzfeld knows this priest so well, he should be able to convince him of going through these woods late at night to avoid the robber bands in this area.”

“Or at least so he claims.”

The road below them was empty now, not even the light of the lantern could be seen. Henry and Godwin had disappeared somewhere to the left, where they would wait until the carriage of Father Thomas and his mercenaries would appear in front of them. Only then would they set themselves into motion and act as if they had been walking all this time, on a pilgrimage from Prague, where Thomas was supposed to be returning to. And what great wonders they encountered there in the presence of Hus! What Hans hadn't given to change positions with Godwin now and be down there in priest robes next to Henry. Partly, because he knew how convincing Henry could be, and he would have loved to experience his act up close. Partly too, however, because he hated seeing Henry walk right into danger while being too far away to intervene when it all went to shit.

Above them, bats were screeching on their hunt for the first harbingers of summer, gnats. The air felt more like winter though, so freezing cold by now, that it lifted Hans's breath to the sky in the form of glistening clouds of smoke.

There was no such cloud in front of Sam's face, Hans no­ticed. Maybe all his insides had cooled down to ice a long time ago. “You aren't so keen on trusting, eh?”

“Does it surprise you?” Sam still didn't give Hans the ho­nour of looking at him. If he just loosened up a little bit, it might help him to enjoy something in life for once! After all, the only times Hans could remember ever seeing Henry's bro­ther truly happy was when he was drunk. “I have lived through more deceits and betrayals than you can even imagine.”

“Believe me, betrayal isn't such a strange concept to me ei­ther.”

“I doubt that you can compare that.”

And there it was again, so suddenly that it made Hans's heart stop for a moment or two. A face he had forgotten, a love he had sworn to never feel again, because how fucking much could this love hurt. Only Henry had managed to make him break this oath. Only for Henry had he opened his chest to the threat of being stabbed again, and he hadn't regretted this deci­sion once in the past seven years. And Henry had helped him heal, had shown him that it was not only possible but worth the risk to take down the walls he had built. That it was worth to trust, back then at Suchdol during that damned siege after Hans had found Samuel breaking into his room, and now it was Sam again who dragged these memories out of the deepest pits of his chest so they could torment him once more. The same hol­low cheeks, but eyes like the night sky. It wasn't fair, Hans thought. Because back then Samuel had said something that had proven any comparison to him wrong, had given Hans en­couragement, the sweetest gift ever given to him. He had tra­ded that gift of encouragement for Henry's love. Trust wasn't an easy task, Hans knew that too well. But Sam had taught him a lesson Hans would never forget. Don't make the same mistake I made. As a lily among thorns, so is my love.

Hans shook his head. The distorted face didn't disappear. Maybe it was the moonlight, he thought, that made Sam's eyes seem darker and larger too. He looked away. It wasn't fair, he thought again. Not to Sam, and not to himself. “Let's just agree that we know each other too little to judge that properly.”

The bats were screeching. A breeze bent the tops of the trees above their heads, carrying the smell of wet grass and blosso­ming flowers. The breeze was warm. It felt nice for the mo­ment, until it left a more piercing coldness than before once it was over.

“Look.” Hans could hear Sam sigh in annoyance when he started to speak again, but he would not stay quiet now, not when his hand was shaking and his heart was racing. It was way too cold for a late April night. “I agree with you that we shouldn't put our lives in the hands of someone we haven't even shared a drink with. But it's not really this Schwarzfeld guy that we're trusting here. It's Katherine and Žižka. If they are certain he told the truth, then I am certain of it too. Besides, Henry was right. We're all here to help them. You have his sword ready, I have my crossbow, Janosh and Kubyenka will strike from the other side. There's really not that much risk about this part of the plan.”

“If they appear.”

Hans pulled his knees closer to his body, wrapped his arms around them, hoping it would help him warm up if he twisted himself into a pretzel in the oven. “Well, otherwise we just freeze our arses off for nothing, I suppose.”

“I'm not talking about that priest.”

Hans narrowed his eyes, examining the forest on the other side of the gorge. He had never seen the ocean before, but this was what the authors in his books used to describe it as. Huge and unfathomable, engulfing and dark. The air smelled of grass and flowers and frost. A shiver crept down his spine. “They're clearly there already. We just cannot see them from here, be­cause it's simply too fucking dark.”

“Hm,” Sam made, and it sounded as weak as the wind.

Hans looked over to him again, and now Matej was gone. Too much scepticism, too little hatred. “Where do you think they are? Still in Uzhitz, having had one drink too many against the nervousness?”

“There are many possibilities.”

“Hm.” A sound out of Hans's own throat this time, he could feel it, but the voice was unfamiliar to him.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the emptiness. The bats were dashing across the sky, the leaves were rustling. Down below, the road remained deserted.

“Farkakte drek!”

Hans winced at Sam's sudden jump to his feet. Above them, a bird rushed away from its resting spot in the branches with a protesting caw.

“And this is what I left my people in Kolín for?”

“Keep it a little quieter, will you!”

“Why?” Sam flipped around to him as quickly as a bow­string let loose. “There is no one else here! Not down on that road and not over there in the forest either.”

“They are there.” It was a strange feeling, Hans thought, to always be the sensible one when he was with Sam. And he couldn't help but notice how much this role annoyed him. “The priest will show up too, we haven't even waited all that long. And then …”

“And then what? Then Henry will walk up to this galach and his four men to perform some little magic trick, dressed in nothing but these woollen robes!”

“He is used to such robes, believe me. Did you know that he lived in a monastery once, as a monk?”

“It is not about the robes, Hans.” He took a step closer to him now, his eyes hidden from the moonlight, painting them pitch black. “Žižka is using him as bait. Seven years, and no­thing has changed!”

“Žižka knows,” Hans tried to keep his voice as calm as he possibly could, “that Henry is capable of carrying out this plan. Probably the only one of us who could.”

“Žižka was desperate.” Sam's voice was as sharp as a blade, his accent more clear than ever now, every word coming down like a hammer. “Because the Devil is dead, the Teutonic order has rejected him, and half of his men are on the risk of leaving. If they haven't already.”

Hans took a deep breath. His annoyance about being the voice of reason wasn't helped by Sam reflecting his very own thoughts back to him like a vicious mirror. “You are worried. I am, too. There is nothing wrong with that. But we should not forget that it is Henry we are talking about here.” He tried to smile. It must have looked little convincing. “You might not trust Schwarzfeld. You might not even trust Žižka. Fine. But I think we can both agree that we should trust Henry.”

Sam took a deep breath, shook his head, averted his gaze. The hand that he had wrapped around the sword's handle loo­sened a bit, even as the rest of his body remained tense. It was clear that he wanted to say more, had more doubts, more fears weighing down on his chest, but he kept them to himself. As usual. Sam was right, Hans thought. Seven years, and it almost felt as if nothing had changed. Yet everything has. And we have grown older, we have moved on. Perhaps that was what made all of this so damn hard. They weren't barely matured striplings anymore who would agree to every bold plan Žižka could come up with. There was a family to look after for Hans, a wife, a realm, three children. A home built anew from the ruins for Sam, stepping into his grandfather's shoes, guiding his flock. There was so much more to lose for both of them, as ex­citing as the prospect of new adventure felt. And then there was Žižka. Still a mercenary, still on the search for his purpose in life, still lost.

Maybe that was why Henry had been the first to agree to his proposition, and so eagerly as well. Because in this regard he wasn't all that different from Žižka. Always lost, always loo­king for his path. To Henry, stepping out of Rattay had been a relief, a breath of rediscovered freedom. He could swear as ma­ny oaths as he wanted, and perhaps they weren't even lies, per­haps he wanted to stay by Hans's side until his last day, Hans wanted just the same. But not as his knight, his advisor, not tied up in duties that would bind him to the Rattay court forever. Almost ironic, wasn't it, how Hans would be the one they called little bird, while Henry was right there next to him, al­ways on the search for new adventures and restless as if trapped in a cage when he couldn't find it for too long. And yet he had stayed.

“Believe me,” Hans began as softly as he could while his voice was shaking, “I care for him as much as you do. Ten years ago, I couldn't have dreamed of being where I am now, and I wouldn't even have wanted to. To be the patriarch of the family of Leipa, yes, the Lord of Rattay, that too. But being married, with three children? Delegated to rule over all these possessions, these people, so many problems to solve, so many hungry mouths to feed. My own family's and that of the whole land.” Something rustled in the undergrowth next to his feet, a mouse perhaps, somewhere on the other side a brown owl was calling. Once, Hans had longed for this with his whole heart, the silence, the serenity of nature. Now he couldn't even re­member when he had last set foot outside the Rattay city walls. “But I am happy. Because through all of this responsibility, I always have your brother by my side. To help me make deci­sions, to calm me down whenever I feel like I could never be suited for the role. To give me love, make me feel safe. I never thought I could have that.” He laughed. A sound almost as croaking as the owl's scream. “Much less with a man!”

Sam turned, looked at him. He didn't say a word, but there was a deep understanding in his expression, as if he knew. Maybe he remembered what Hans had said before, sensed what this was about even when he couldn't quite tell why he would be sharing it. Christ, Hans didn't even know himself! To calm them both down, perhaps, take their minds off the task ahead. To lift the weight of memory off his chest, more likely. As if taking parchment and a feather when another poem had been twirling through his thoughts a whole day long, writing it down, relieving his mind. They had come and settled down in his heart now anyway. His words, his eyes, his hatred.

“You know, Henry wasn't the first man I ever had such fee­lings for. Though I was much younger when it had last hap­pened. Fourteen, to be exact.” Hans shook his head at that rea­lisation alone. The ridiculousness, this passing of time. “Christ, I'm twice as old now!”

Sam still didn't say a word, maybe he wouldn't dare to, but he listened, and then he placed the sword on the ground and lowered himself to the tree trunk next to Hans. Not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel his presence, his warmth, smell his scent. Pungent leather and sweet herbs like the incense burned at mass, and something that reminded Hans all too much of Henry. Hot iron perhaps, straying sparks on wood, a smouldering fire.

“He was a stable boy in Rattay. I do not even remember his name.” Nor his face, Hans thought. His hair had been brown as chestnuts, almost red. Like a squirrel, Hans had liked to say and he had meant it as a compliment, and then the other one had laughed and called him straw head, because Hans's own hair had been fair as hay back then, had only darkened a little over the years. “He was much older than me. Past twenty already, although he didn't look like it. I thought he was beauti­ful. I liked him. But I didn't know what to do about this … li­king.” Neither his uncle nor his nurse Vjenka nor any other person he knew had ever taught him about it. He had looked for answers in the tales he knew and loved. Eneas and Pallas, Siegfried and Gunther, Lancelot and Galehaut. It didn't explain shit. “One night, I went to see him in the stables, and then I … I touched him. Carefully. And he returned the touch, and then he showed me … love. Well, it wasn't actually love, it was sex, and it wasn't very pleasant for me either. But it was new, and exciting, and I came back for more. He made me come back. Told me he needed to see me again, because of what he was feeling for me.”

Hans paused for a while. The lies one was so eager to be­lieve when young and in love. Or perhaps it had been entirely his own nature that was to blame. The gullibility of people was fool-proof, Godwin had said. It surely was when that priest they waited for was any bit like Hans. Still as naive as a child, Hanush would say. When will you ever grow up?

A light appeared below on a road, silver in colour, crawling through the gorge like the water of a stream. Just the moon­light. Hans wrapped his arms tighter around his knees. “Our secret meetings went on for quite a while. And then finally, he revealed what it was exactly he was feeling for me. He asked me for a promotion. He wanted to become a knight.” There was a sound to his left, but Hans couldn't quite tell if it had been produced by Sam's throat or some animal or the wind in the branches. “I told him that he was only a stable boy, that he could never be a knight, and that even if it was possible, I was in no position to grant that to him.” Hans swallowed. He had reached a point where the memories were starting to hurt. Sam didn't push him, didn't urge him to continue. He just waited. Understood. “All of a sudden, his touches grew painful. And he began to threaten me. Promised that he would tell the whole of Rattay about us, if I didn't go and convince my uncle some­how.”

Bare, naked, helpless, pressed into the hay in the far corner of the stables. Fingers on his arms bruising. What, you wanna scream? Want them to find you like this? You have any idea what they do to filth like you?

“Of course he could have never actually told anyone. The consequences for him would have been much graver than those for me, I was a noble after all. The worst thing that could hap­pen to me was a slap on the wrist and a scolding from my un­cle, while he would at least end up in the stocks, if not be ba­nished or hanged for defiling me. But I couldn't see that at the time. I was scared. I was only fourteen!”

Hans fell silent again, and for a while he wasn't certain whe­ther he wanted to continue. The shadows of the trees on the other side formed the outline of an enormous wall that seemed to be getting closer now with every other word he spoke, and he felt locked in, despite the cold breeze on his skin, despite the birds and bats and mice, despite the dampness of the wood and the grass. He closed his eyes. The smell. The smell was what he could hold on to. Incense and leather. Hot iron. Familiar. “In my desperation, I went to someone who I believed was close to me. Close enough to confide in. Other than the stable boy's, his name I do remember very well. Matej.” Black hair, black eyes, always narrowed, always wary. He must have been sixteen or seventeen at the time, not quite a man yet, but just as broad as all the other soldiers that he trained with. “He was a squire un­der Sir Bernard. Of course, I couldn't tell him what exactly had happened between me and that stable boy, not at first anyway. I just said that he had threatened me. And Matej didn't hesitate. Went straight to him and threatened him back. Told him that he would make his life a living hell if he didn't leave Rattay at once. Matej could be quite intimidating, you know. The stable boy never stood a chance.”

Drinks and talks and laughter, even though it was rare to get a laugh from Matej. It always sounded wrong. Like a parasiti­cal insect that had clawed its way out of his throat. An occa­sional touch, after enough tankards of wine. A hand on Matej's arms, his neck, in his black curls, Hans's skin burning as if the squire's body was made of flames.

“We got closer after that, Matej and me. So close that it made me start to see things that … just weren't real. And one day, I told him everything. We were a little too drunk and we were all alone, and I felt safe. So I talked about what I had shared with the stable boy. And I talked about my own feelings for him. For Matej.” The black eyes widened for once. In sur­prise and disbelief, that Hans had been able to tell. The hatred and disgust he couldn't see. Too much wine, too much childish naivety. “He was taken aback, of course, that wasn't surprising to me. It also didn't come much to a surprise that he stood up and left. How could he not after hearing such news? But it did surprise me then, how he came back to me the next day. And how he asked me if we could meet up later that night, alone, down by the river.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sam's hands clen­ching into fists, and his jaw twitched as he pressed his lips to­gether more tightly. This wasn't a happy tale, Sam knew that. Wasn't a stranger to betrayal himself.

Hans turned away, faced the darkness next to them instead, hiding the shame that Sam wouldn't care for, but what would it matter, as Hans himself cared. “I was a fool, yes, but please bear in mind that I was still a child. Naive and hurt from what had happened before and hopeful that this time it could be different. But well, that doesn't change anything, eh?” A dark forest just like here. A short walk away from the city, east­wards, where Hans liked to ride out to every now and then. It had been summer time, Hans could remember that because of how shallow the Sasau had been. Matej had stood there like the dark knight out of Hans's books, but his face had shown no signs of chivalry and love. He also hadn't come alone as pro­mised. “Matej had his dog with him. A huge, black hunting dog. He … Well …” It was too dreadful to say it out loud.

“Farshittn mamzer.”

Hans understood these words without actually knowing them, and the fact that Sam had finally opened his mouth just to growl this curse, made him laugh, despite everything. It was a short laugh, but a welcome, healing one, and it finally lifted the weight of shame and fear off him and allowed him to breathe. He noticed how Sam looked over at him in confusion, and shook his head to him softly, and Hans nodded, with a ge­nuine smile playing with his lips. “True that.”

“What did you do to him?”

Hans had to chuckle again, and Sam lowered his brows sceptically, couldn't understand how good his blunt remarks felt to Hans. “Nothing really. I was too ashamed to tell my un­cle the truth, and I didn't have to anyway. It took me a while to recover from the injuries his dog had inflicted on me. And the ones he had caused afterwards, before he had left me there, bleeding and barely conscious. When I was finally allowed to leave my sickbed, he was gone. Sir Bernard told me he had asked to leave for Sasau, but he didn't stay there for long either. God knows where he went.”

“A kind zol nokh im heysn.”

“A child should …?”

Sam shrugged his shoulders, his face blank. “I hope he died.”

“Ah. Yes, perhaps.” He hated the thought of wishing death upon anyone really. But there was no denying it, some people had it coming. “In any case,” Hans looked up to the trees again, and they seemed much less threatening now, like a rain cloud maybe, or not even that, “all of this taught me a valuable les­son, you see? That I should never trust that easily.” A few of the trees on the left stood out above the others like a bell tower. An outstretched hand, ready to catch those that might fall from heaven. “Then, a few years later, you came along. Back then in Suchdol. I don't know if you remember. But I do. I remember your words very well, because this time it was you who taught me yet another and perhaps even more valuable lesson. That some people are worth the trust. Like a lily among thorns, so is my love.” Hans only caught the last traces of the change in expression on Sam's face when he turned back to him. The faint remnants in his tired eyes. Grief and pain and regret. “Thank you, Sam. From the bottom of my heart.”

* * *

They had sat next to each other in silence for a while after these words, both lost in thought. How cruel people could be to one another. They act out of fear and ignorance, his mame would have said. In the end, it is the heart of those who stain it with such actions that suffers most. But what good would that do? What good would it do to know of the suffering of the trai­tor when his actions led to the pain or death of someone else? Besides, more often than not these words would prove to be nothing more than a nice saying, because these mamzers didn't actually suffer. Málek clearly hadn't suffered. Not until Samuel had taken fate into his own hands and gutted him like a sheep.

Samuel couldn't tell for how long they sat there. An hour at least, two or three more likely. The sky had become even dar­ker, almost as dark as the row of trees, melting into them to form a parchment covered in ink all over, a wall of nothing­ness. The dampness of the trunk had long crept through the cotton of his trousers, and he tried to move as little as he could to not make the feeling more uncomfortable. Then all of a sudden, Hans Capon did something that complicated move­ment even more. He tipped over to the side as if all strength had left his body at once, and rested his head on Samuel's shoulder.

“A rose of Sharon,” he mumbled. His tongue sounded heavy as if he was drunk, but he had only taken a few sips of wine during their wait. Tiredness. Samuel felt it, too. Tired and ex­hausted and scared, and he hated it all. Wanted this to move on, wanted to act, wanted to prove his own doubts wrong. “You never told me the whole poem. A shame, because you made up something so pretty there.”

“I did not make it up.” Hans could barely hold his eyes open. Damn it, Samuel's own eyes burned too, and he wanted to do nothing more than close them, get some rest, but he knew he wouldn't find it, and one of them had to stay awake anyway. “It is a poem of my people. And I only learned of it through,” his lips formed silent words that his heart didn't dare to speak, “someone else.”

“Well, then this someone has a great taste in poetry.”

“She had, yes.”

“Oh.”

Too much, he had said too much. And it hurt, and he wanted to take it back, because already he could feel the cracks ripping into the wall, the blood streaming from them. He had buried it all, and it was for the best. Had left it behind like he had left her grave, never to return. How could he possibly have re­turned after what he had done?

“What was her name?”

“Hannah.” Neyn, his own voice screamed helplessly inside his head. Nit an ander vort!

“A beautiful name. Was she just as beautiful?”

“Even more so.” The cracks tore open, some of the bricks had crumbled to dust, he could feel it in his heart, and if it hadn't been for Hans's head on his shoulder, he might as well have jumped up and ran. Ran where? Back to Kolín? Back to Kuttenberg? To her? There was no back to run to and nothing to run from but his own soul. And he had already succumbed to that chase.

“Was she …” Hans's words were barely intelligible now, but Samuel doubted he noticed. “… the poem …”

“One of her favourite poems. I think she felt that it was able to say things she couldn't. Or wouldn't. Because I wouldn't have listened anyway.” Esthera's hand shaking as she handed him the paper. Some of the words had been slurred, Hannah had never been the most careful when it came to writing. “Ir­responsible was what she often called me. And she was right. I cared more for childish ideas of revolution than for her, and for us. And in trying to do justice to both, I failed both. All my great schemes to stifle the support for Sigismund in Kuttenberg went to shit.”

He had known as soon as he had climbed through that window that something was wrong. That fucking custodian wasn't in his bed where he was supposed to be. And he hadn't heard Hannah's hands and feet on the scaffolding either. The soldiers hadn't worn any armour and they had moved as quietly as rats, he hadn't even noticed them storming the alleyway below him. But then Hannah had screamed and coughed and vomited blood and died. And all that had been left to do for him was to run. “I never got to tell her that I loved her. And in turn, she took her own secret to the grave with her. She only told me with that poem and with the lines she herself had added to it.” And Esthera had confirmed it with nothing more than a silent nod because as Hannah's closest friend she at least had known. I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys. As a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. As an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. Under its shadow I delighted to sit, and its fruit was sweet to my taste. He has brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me is love. And then Hannah had painted two small ornaments under the words, a flower and a tree, and in her scrawled handwriting she had added: And from my beloved's fruit new seeds have fallen, and the ground where they landed was rich and welcoming. They will bring forth a lily or an apple tree, and me and my loved one shall stand by its side to water it and watch it flourish. “She had been with child.”

His words faded away in nothingness. Hans had fallen a­sleep. No one had heard them, except Samuel himself and the one who always listened. Who knew it all.

Samuel closed his eyes. They burned too much. A single tear broke its way through his lashes and ran down his cheek into Hans's golden hair. Hannah had been a good climber, and sometimes they had found their way up to the roofs of Kutten­berg, had sat there for a while, watching the sunset, dreaming of better times. He had dreamed, that was, she had listened. Had placed her head on his shoulder, just like Hans did now, her fingers entangled in his.

He tilted his head, rested his cheek on Hans's hair, dried his tears. I'm sorry, he wanted to say, but it would have been foo­lish. Hans wasn't her. And he wouldn't have heard the words anyway, just as Hannah would never hear them.

They had bought her body free from the city guards. Samuel hadn't been with the other shomrim, hadn't watched over her body and soul as he should have, hadn't been there when they lowered her into the ground. Hadn't wanted to think about the second soul that he needed to keep watch over. Instead, he had sought out Málek. Málek had begged and whined like a dog, down on his knees to Samuel's feet, his hands reaching out as if he was praying. Samuel hadn't wanted to hear him beg and whine and pray. Had only wanted one answer from him. “Sil­ver or freedom?” he had asked. “What have they offered you?”

“Freedom,” Málek had croaked out. “Please, Samuel, I am telling the truth, you have to believe me!”

Samuel had nodded. Not because he believed, but because it didn't matter anyway. Then he had pulled the moser to his feet to cut him open from pubic bone to navel. He thought it only just.

Esthera had been at Hannah's grave when Samuel had got there later that night. She had seen Málek's blood on him. “Oh, Samuel,” she had breathed out, “what have you done?”

There had been no need to explain himself. She understood, better than anyone else could. She had left, and once he had been alone, Samuel had finally broken down. His knees hitting the heaped up earth, choking on tears and screams, fingers star­ting to hurt, it had taken a while until he noticed why, had only dawned on him when he fell down in exhaustion. Maybe if I stay here, he had thought. How long may it take? And the words from Hannah's poem had echoed through his mind like a prayer, sung in her own voice, a lullaby so that time could pass faster. And the ground where they landed was rich and welco­ming. They will bring forth a lily or an apple tree, and me and my loved one shall stand by its side to water it and watch it flourish.

His wish had not been granted. The sun of a new day had al­ready painted the sky in blood red when Samuel stood up from the grave and never returned. Esthera had waited for him at the mikveh as if she had already expected him, and not a single word of horror or condemnation was uttered, even as she no­ticed the earth underneath his fingernails. This time, she hadn't left him alone. She had stood outside the mikveh while he bathed and cleansed his body of blood and soil, stood watch as if she herself wanted to perform shemira on him. But she was standing guard at the wrong place. The graveyard was where he had left his soul.

A light on the road below, and Samuel straightened his back so suddenly that Hans almost slipped off him. “Oy, shvoger!Wake up! Something is happening!”

“Huh?” Hans blinked a few times, leaving the realm of sleep slowly, way too slowly for someone who was supposed to exe­cute a masterful shot every moment now. Samuel gave him an additional blow with the elbow for good measure. “Ouch! How dare you! I am awake, alright?”

He lifted his hand, pointed down to the road, and to the fli­ckering, orange light, approaching from the left. A few more moments passed, and then two figures appeared, bodies wrapped in black and white robes of wool, their heads bowed down as if exhausted from a full day's walk. Henry's dark hair was covering his forehead, it was dishevelled, making him seem more innocent and harmless. Godwin's head reflected the light of the lantern in his hands like a piece of molten iron.

“They must have seen them then.” Hans removed the cross­bow from his belt, taking one of the prepared bolts out of the leather bag Sam had brought him earlier. “Which means that Father Thomas and his men should …”

Another light, this time on the other side of the road, and the rumbling sound of carriage wheels. Armour chattered, but they had been expecting that, and when the group of men finally ap­peared in their vision, Samuel counted only four men in total, the priest on his carriage and three mercenaries by foot, one less than Schwarzfeld had predicted. They were well-equipped, with swords and maces and bows on their hips, but then again one of them wasn't even wearing a helmet, perhaps thinking himself safe from the previous lack of dangerous encounters on their way so far. Should things stray from the plan, he would be the first to die.

The priest steadied his horses and brought the armed men to a halt with a single raise of his hand. Henry and Godwin stopped as well, eyeing the group in front of them as if they were surprised to meet them here, then they bowed and greeted each other. A warm and cheerful tone, but their voices were too quiet to understand them.

“Can you hear what they're saying?”

Hans shook his head, squinting his eyes, keeping them on the road, even as he placed the crossbow on the ground so he could cock it. “Not a word.”

A lower mumbling as one of the mercenaries chimed in on the conversation. The priest seemed to grasp the reins more tightly as he bowed forward. Godwin laughed, but it sounded strained. Not good.

“They are talking for way too long already.”

“They need to get Father Thomas to a point where he would actually believe them when they show him a Jan Hus inspired magic trick.” Hans breathed out a quiet laughter, probably due to the ridiculousness of it all. “Of course it's gonna take some time!”

Samuel narrowed his eyes to improve his vision against the darkness, but the trees on the other side of the gorge stood too close together to let any light through. Still, there should have been something, should there not? A movement of the bushes, the flash of moonlight on steel.

He grabbed his father's sword, lifted himself off the trunk.

“Sam!” Hans was whispering, but it was high and sharp. He felt it, too. “Where are you going?”

Samuel took a few steps along the edge of the slope, never letting his gaze leave the opposite side, so that he couldn't miss the slightest sign of them. Nothing. No shadow, no flicker of light, no matter how much he changed his angle. “Did you ever see Kubyenka and the Hungarian show up?”

“Well, they are supposed to hide. They'd do something wrong if we were able to see them.”

Below on the road, Henry had opened his bag, pulling a glass ball out of it, then a stick, placing the ball on top of it by a designated recess on the bottom, then he raised the apparatus to the sky. The lamplight made it glow as if he was holding the sun itself on a leash. The fire of God, the spark of his words.

Hans took a deep breath, lifted the crossbow.

Eight pairs of eyes, all waiting for a miracle.

“Something isn't right here,” Samuel hissed.

Then a bolt shot through the air like a lightning. The priest let out a gurgling sound, trembling hands raised to his throat, where the bolt had pierced right through. It didn't take long for him to die, and even less for two of his men to draw their wea­pons while another one ran off immediately. The one conve­niently not dressed in full armour.

Henry took a step back to dodge the swing of a mace, raised his face to the mountain top. Samuel followed his eyes, saw Hans kneeling next to him, crossbow raised, bolt still nocked, his eyes widened in shock. “That wasn't me!”

“That mamzer has betrayed us!” He didn't hesitate for ano­ther moment, stormed over to where the slope was flat enough to get down without falling. “I will go to them!” he shouted back at Hans. “But be careful, there must be another archer …”

A hit against his back, and Samuel got pushed forward, crashed down on the ground, with someone else weighing down on his back, pressing all air out of his lungs. Father's sword was still sheathed and the man sitting on top of him didn't give him enough room to pull it out, but he managed to slide the other hand under his body, grasping the dagger and bringing it back, slicing through flesh. The man died on top of him, screaming pain and fright into Samuel's ear, until it was finally over.

It took some effort to crawl out from underneath the body, and when he had finally freed himself and turned on his back, he saw that the space around them, where Hans and him had thought themselves alone just moments before, was now filled with men, two of them already lying on the ground, the one whose belly Samuel had cut open and another one with a bolt in his eye socket. They weren't heavily armoured thankfully, hadn't dared to it seemed as not to give their ambush away through sounds, but from the way they moved Samuel could tell that each of them was skilled. Hans had thrown his cross­bow down, now occupied with fighting one of the men by sword, while another one rushed forward with an axe, swinging it for Samuel's head. He turned quickly, unsheathing the sword in the same motion, before he got up on his feet. Another turn, a swing with father's sword, parried by the axe with such strength that Samuel felt the impact all the way up to his shoul­der. He went for another blow, got parried again, but this time he was prepared, raised the dagger. He didn't even get the time to watch the fucker choke on his own blood, before two more attackers came for him, wild as hounds, and before he could react, one of them had his short sword lifted, bringing the pom­mel down on Samuel's wrist. A biting pain in his arm, a flash of light blurring his sight, then a gloved hand hit his face, sending him to his knees.

“Hold on, Vojtěch!” someone screamed to his left. “One of them is a nobleman!”

The man called Vojtěch, who had his weapon raised above Samuel's head like an executioner's sword, examined him closely with a tilted head, as if he was looking for the word no­bility being written somewhere on Samuel's skin. Given he could read.

Another, familiar voice cut through the air, using this short moment of hesitation. “This is your chance, Hans! Flee! I will distract them!”

Hans didn't have to tell him twice. Samuel threw his body forward, running his dagger into the man's upper thigh, just be­low the crotch, two, three, four times, then he let it fall, twirled around and grabbed father's sword. Someone's mace got dan­gerously close to his legs, but he dodged the blow, started run­ning without turning back.

“Hans, he said,” the leader of the pack exclaimed behind him. “That one is the noble then. Don't shoot him!”

“What about the other guy?”

“Just some Jew, I think. He won't be missed.”

A few hasty steps down the slope, and his right knee gave in, but Samuel was quick in catching his balance again, kept on running. Some more steps, and he was close enough to throw the sword safely, even with his left hand. “Bruder!”

Henry gave the man in front of him a kick against the shin, looked up. He caught the sword by the handle firmly, twirled around, gutted his closest enemy. Good.

Samuel turned back, climbed up to the top of the mountain again, where Hans was on the ground now, surrounded by the four remaining men, a fawn circled by hawks. One of them was injured on the back of his head and had taken his skullcap off. A mistake. Samuel pulled the second, shorter dagger from his belt and threw it with one single, precise motion. The blade hit him right in the neck, and he crashed down like a felled tree.

“Oy!” Samuel shouted at them. “Khazerim!”

They turned around in confusion. That was all Hans needed. One swing sliding through two pairs of legs, the third man got a blow straight to his back. He gave them no rest when they lay on the ground, ended it quickly. Then he stumbled forward, fell to his hands and knees, and coughed. It was over. Time for the pain to set in.

Samuel made his way across the bodies over to Hans, rea­ching out his left hand for him. Better not to waste any thoughts on the smell of blood and intestines, on the lives ta­ken, not yet anyway. “Are you alright?”

Hans took his hand, pulled himself up. “Yes.” His eyes quickly wandered across Samuel's body, settling on his right wrist that was already starting to swell, painted in the darkest violet, a stark contrast against his pale skin. “What about you?”

“I'll survive.”

Hans nodded. His expression revealed that he knew too well that Samuel made it seem better than it actually was, but he ac­cepted the reply for now.

They didn't have to hurry as they climbed down the moun­tain side this time. Henry and Godwin had long got rid of their two opponents, and without any major injuries, too, by the looks of it.

It still didn't keep Hans from rushing forward and throwing his arms around Henry's neck. “Henry!”

“I'm fine.” Henry returned the embrace and for the briefest moment his lips found Hans's neck.

Godwin didn't seem like he was in the mood for tenderness. “What the fuck happened here?”

“It wasn't his fault.” Samuel nodded at Hans. “Someone else shot the priest.”

“Yes,” Henry agreed, letting go off Hans, but staying close enough for their hands to touch, “we could see that it wasn't one of your bolts.”

“They were hiding up there between the trees close to us. I counted ten of them.”

“Ten?” Henry's eyes widened. “And you didn't notice them?”

“We were more focused on the things going on down here,” Hans hurried to say, leaving a big part of the truth out, and Sa­muel nodded in silent acknowledgement. The things shared be­tween them had not been meant for anyone else to hear. “Be­sides, most of them didn't even wear any steel.”

“No steel.” It wasn't a question. Godwin had already expec­ted this. “So they were confident enough to fight us without much armour.” His gaze wandered over to the carriage, from which the priest hung down, his limbs twisted from agony like the threads of a rope. His left hand was still dripping from blood, as he had tried to tear the bolt out of his neck, but in vain. “Making it all the more unlikely that this shot was a miss.”

“And they were well-informed,” Samuel added. “They knew about Hans, and took good care not to kill him.” Or me, for that matter. He would have to thank Hans later in a proper way, once this here was settled.

“While they didn't even hesitate to sacrifice a priest.”

“You think this was all planned?” Hans broke away from Henry to better look at him. “Including the killing of Farther Thomas?”

“One of them ran off as soon as the bolt hit, we didn't even get a chance to go after him. And he was prepared for it too, just barely armoured.”

“Making sure he would live to tell the tale,” Godwin con­cluded. “He won't even have to make anything up, we gave him all he would need. Two disciples of Jan Hus, stopping them in the woods and killing the man who was just on his way to Prague to speak out against said Jan Hus fella.”

“But sacrificing a priest for that cause?” Hans asked again, as if his mind still had trouble believing it. “Don't they have any honour?”

“It seems to be more important to them to let everyone know that we don't have any honour. More food for their wild accusa­tions of dismembering and slaughtering clergymen.” Godwin's eyes found Samuel's, and his mouth twisted into a pained smile. “A kind of defamation that your people are already fami­liar with.”

“All too well.” Especially since they started to understand Wenceslas as a friend of the Jews, Samuel thought bitterly. And the Hussites too, people didn't like to differentiate much. They are pouring hot pitch over the tonsures of our priests, and just the other week I heard of a young monk whose cock and balls they squashed with metal plates until he died from the torture! And most of them didn't even bother to ask whether they was supposed to mean the Hussites or the Jews. It was all the same these days. Religious deviants. Rebels against the divine might of the church.

Henry turned around, pointing up the mountains. “What about Janosh and Kubyenka? Did you see them?”

“No,” Samuel replied. “And there were no attackers on that side either. So they cannot have ambushed them as they have done to us, at least not here.”

“You think they may have been stopped on their way?” Hans bit his bottom lip as the thought settled in, his eyes widened in horror. “Fuck.”

Henry nodded. Then he turned, picked the glass ball off the ground and slammed it against the carriage with a loud curse. The biting stench of the firedamp filled the air. Just some fric­tion, Samuel pondered, or a single spark and the carriage and that damned priest would go up in flames. But what good would that do now? “We need to report what happened here to Žižka. And then find a way to clean up this whole mess.”

It was already morning, when they arrived in Žižka's hideout in that Kuttenberg church. The sun had risen, piercing through the beams of the roof like arrows of silver smoke, dancing in the air. The new day was warmer than the last one, not a single cloud darkened the sky, birds that nested in the corners of the church roof celebrated that warmer times were to come.

The sweet caress of spring didn't seem to have passed by Katherine and Žižka either. When the others climbed up the ladder to the church attic, they were sitting together at the table that Žižka used to store all his documents on, each of them on opposite sides, but leaning over the books and parchments to­wards each other. A little too close.

“A whole house?” Katherine whispered in feigned surprise.

“An estate.” Another gasp of Katherine, and Žižka smiled with an audible hum. “A castle.”

“What on earth would I need a castle for?”

“You won't. But if I have the means to, I would not hesitate to give it to you. I'd give you all I have.”

“All of it, really?”

Samuel pushed himself over the edge onto the floor of the attic, struggling, with only one hand and an elbow to use. Ka­therine passed him a quick glance, and nodded, then she leaned back on her chair with crossed arms. “Before you have ac­quired enough money to buy me a castle, you may as well have died of old age. Time is running, Žižka.”

He let out a laugh that sounded more like air being squeezed out of a bellows. Then he turned around, looked at Samuel and at the others who had followed right behind him, and all the ease and joy vanished from his face at once. “One look at you, and I know that the whole plan went to shit.”

Henry was the first to step forward, of course he was. Other than Samuel and Hans, he had been behind the plan with all his heart. He hadn't spoken much on their ride back to Kuttenberg, but it was clear he felt just as responsible as Žižka must feel, if not more so. “You can say that out loud! We were betrayed. Ambushed by almost a dozen more soldiers. The whole thing was set up.”

“One of them got away before we could stop him.” God­win's voice was as clear and strong as it could get, a soldier re­porting back on his mission. “He clearly went to tell everyone about what happened.”

“And what did happen?” Žižka moved up from his chair now, his eyes wandering from one to the other. Samuel felt as if he looked right through their souls with that blind, pale one. “What about the priest?”

“Dead,” Henry answered plainly. Žižka's gaze shot over to Hans in shock, and Henry raised a pacifying hand. “It was one of the attackers up in the woods. And it didn't happen by acci­dent.”

“They created a martyr.” Katherine's voice was as weak as the spring air whistling through the roof above them.

Žižka let himself sink back against the table, breathing in and out a few times. It was more than that, he knew it. Creating a martyr was only the start. Rumours would spread quickly, and the rumours would ask for consequences. Banishments, prohibitions, death sentences, persecutions. Žižka had wanted to help. Had wanted nothing more than to find a cause they could all agree on, igniting their fire again, including the spark in his own heart. He had navigated them right into disaster. “The one who got away, where did he go?”

“North,” Henry answered. “To Prague.”

“Yes, but unless he had a horse hidden somewhere close, it would take him almost a whole day to get there. I reckon he rather went for a meeting point that was more in his immediate vicinity. A place, perhaps, that is in control of another conspira­tor of all this.”

“The Zlenice castle is close by,” Katherine suggested.

“Ondřej Dubá? Well, he serves as the highest judge in the re­gion, but he is loyal to Wenceslas.”

“Only that Wenceslas isn't all too loyal to Jan Hus anymore. Besides, wasn't Dubá a member of the League of Lords once?”

Žižka nodded without looking at her, thinking it through. Sa­muel could feel his own patience slowly flying off to the sky, together with the swallows under the gable. “He was, but not for long. And the man is ninety, Kat. What reason would he have to get himself tangled up in political strives at his age?”

“You should know that better than most.”

Samuel took a step forward now, his heart pounding almost as heavily as his head and wrist. “What does it matter where they went? Wherever they fled to, they must have reached it by now, and soon the word will spread.”

“Sam is right.” It was a relief that Henry didn't seem to be any more interested in this game of guessing than Samuel was. “The best thing we can do now is to clean up this mess we made as quickly as possible.”

There is one particular mess to clean up first, Samuel thought. That fucker Schwarzfeld who must still be in the room they offered him, only one floor below. Sleeping the sleep of the just. “And take care of that traitor who ratted us out.”

He felt Žižka stare him down for a long time, brows pulled together tightly, the pale eye tearing open his soul. Samuel defied his gaze. There was nothing for Žižka to see that he had to be ashamed of. Žižka's eyes were still fixed on him, when he asked them all with a harsher voice than before: “Where are Kubyenka and Janosh?”

“They never arrived at our meeting place,” Henry answered.

“Did you search the area for them?”

“We did, but only the surroundings, and it was still dark. Though I suppose they must have been stopped before ever getting there.”

“Dear God!” Katherine raised a hand to her mouth.

“Hm.” Žižka's half-empty stare was still buried in Samuel's soul as if that sound was supposed to have carried some other hidden meaning just for him. Samuel couldn't care less.

“We must search for them again,” Hans stepped forward un­til he stood right next to Henry, hands and voice raised, “and we should do it now that it is daytime! Track down the whole way they must have taken, from Uzhitz to Jezonice!”

“We will. And we won't stop until we haven't at least found some trace of them. Dead or alive.”

“Alive?” Henry shook his head in surprise. A string of silver morning light hit his hair, painting it grey where it touched him. “You think someone could have taken them hostage?”

“I doubt it.” Žižka's voice was cold as ice.

Samuel had lost all interest in this fucking staring competi­tion. “You can go look for them.” His fingers had found their way to the handle of his dagger, he hadn't even noticed it but now he felt all to eager to take it and slit someone's throat. “I will have a word with this farreter Schwarzfeld.”

He barely got time to turn on his heel. Žižka jumped forward so quickly that there was little room to react, and he had his mace at hand all of a sudden, putting the heavy metal head to Samuel's chest. No, he thought. Not this time. He pushed the mace away with his right arm, used the left hand to draw the dagger. Žižka was quicker, and he had the advantage of kno­wing that Samuel would not actually hurt him. He closed the distance between them with another firm step, and grabbed his broken wrist with the free hand, squeezing it tightly. Samuel let out a sharp hiss, his vision exploded in blinding light from the pain.

“Not so fast, youngster.”

“Take your hand off me.”

“I cannot do that,” Žižka's voice was low and rumbling like thunder, “unless I am fully certain that you won't do anything foolish.”

“What are you protecting Schwarzfeld for?” Henry came closer to them, but he didn't intervene, even as Samuel could hear in his voice that every fibre of his body wanted to. “He is a traitor! He led us straight into a trap, risking all our lives, sullying the reputation of Hus, he may even have Kubyenka and Janosh on his conscience!”

“I won't deny that he might have played a role in all this. But he is not responsible for what happened with these two.”

“What?”

One more deep breath, one more piercing glare with that cursed dead eye, and then Žižka finally let go off Samuel's wrist, stepping back to the table. Another wave of pain rolled over him, so vigorously he almost fainted. “Schwarzfeld knew which road the priest and his men would take. But neither Ka­therine nor I told him a single word about where exactly you would meet with him, let alone where Janosh and Kubyenka would be staying during the day.”

“So what?” Hans's voice got so high that it cracked. “He knew about the plan, that was more than enough. Those armed men he set on us might have just followed us all the way!”

“From Kuttenberg to Uzhitz? A dozen men, without any of you noticing them? No, they clearly waited there the whole time. They have received their information from a very reliable source.”

“What are you hinting on here, Žižka?” Henry's voice was a strong contrast to Hans's, deep and growling, a dog that had sensed his prey.

Žižka took his time to reply. The silence was filled with an­ger and fear, the lowered looks from Katherine and Godwin who both didn't seem so surprised about Žižka's assumptions, the singing of the swallows who didn't care for the pain of the humans underneath them. “Look. I don't like this any more than you do. But Kubyenka has expressed his concerns about all of this many times over the past few days. So the idea of betrayal is one that we have to entertain.”

Samuel took a step back to the ladder, but he lifted both his hands reassuringly, only a weak attempt with his right one. “All the more reason then to entertain this Schwarzfeld a little.” His grin was all teeth, and he assumed that it looked just as vicious as it felt. “To talk to him, friendly of course.”

This time, Žižka didn't stop him, but Samuel could still see him nod in Hans's direction, before he turned to walk back over to the ladder. “Go with him.” Footsteps behind him, one pair, then another one. “Not you, Henry. I need you here.”

[bobbinalong]

asking in preperation: do any of you have, like, a collection of natasha (irons) and/or kara's casual, out-of-costume outfits? do they have a distinct style? asking bc i WILL draw them, i'm seeing this through, and i have a collection of steph and bart's outfits somewhere on this blog, so maybe one of you has the same for one or both of them.

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

[hidey-writes]

six sentence sunday

Under Gu Yiran’s hands, the chicken van bumps along the uneven road like a living thing, and he tightens his grip against it. Beside him in the passenger seat, Zheng Bei stares out the side window in silence. Gu Yiran had made Zhao Xiaoguang show him the map, during one of the endless waiting afternoons in the hospital when Zheng Bei wasn’t there. He’d reached out to trace the circled spots, all three, the sleeve of his hospital shirt catching against the edge of the paper as Zhao Xiaoguang said, Ge wanted us to check all of them, even though he was pretty sure you could only be here, pointing. A cluster of rectangles marking the abandoned crematory buildings north of Halan. Zhao Xiaoguang had left a fingerprint smear of grease along the entry road, right where it ran along the train tracks.

another snippet from the start of ch5! it feels so weird to be back to down drafting now that ch1-4 have shifted the story so far from the original final chapter outline that literally none of the draft material is appropriate anymore lol but it's really enjoyable to just sit and type the most medium sentences in the world without having to do any higher-level thinking about pacing or subtext or anything :) brain off drafting my beloved :)

[cappycodeart]

I got tired of circling back to frustration over my nitpicks on the f&c series so I OC’d my boy. Whoops. 😅💦. I'll still post stuff in the future about the AT version because I still have a lot of doodles I haven't posted yet and doodle ideas I want to draw!!... Buuuuuut in the meantime my brain gears have been turning hardcore over incorporating this version into my OC-verse... he's a silly astronaut now <3