#anyway as my fave is someone without even a pov my opinion is what it is but anyway | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

comphersjost · 4 years ago

Text

All For You | 5 [Finale] ➸ Brady Tkachuk and Matthew Tkachuk

firstly, i want to say thank you all so fucking much for the love, the support, the countless asks, comments, and reblogs on this series. this is an epilogue of sorts - mostly focusing on matty’s POV - as well as a tribute to the first part that started this all. enjoy my loves <3

4 times Matty knew he loved you, and the one time he knew you loved him.

word count: 6.8k+

warnings: some smut, not super descriptive, angst, elias and noah being little shits, lots of elaboration on events previously mention in the series :)

part one

part two

part three

part four

masterlist

The game was brutal. You curled up on your couch to watch it, your body tense the entire time. You lost track of how many times Matt fought someone on the ice, whether he went after someone on behalf of one of his teammates, or when he was being targeted. To say the least...Matt got his ass handed to him.

The game ends with the Rangers shutting out the Flames. You keep the TV on, anxious to see if Matt was going to be interviewed. He wasn’t, but you caught glimpses of him behind Mark Giordano as he answered questions in that monotone hockey voice. Matt looked like a wreck from what you saw, bruises forming on his face and hair an absolute mess.

You shake your head and turn the TV off, immediately reaching for your phone. You text him without thinking, not realizing what you did until you see ‘delivered’ under the messages.

you: i’m sorry about the game :( you: anything i can do? you: ice cream or something?

You panic when the read receipt pops up almost immediately. You'd only been in Calgary for about a month, and only hung out with him a couple of times - and that was with constant reassurance from Brady that you weren't a burden on him. Either way, there's no way he would trust you that much right?

Three short consecutive buzzes sounded, snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts.

matthew: can i come over? matthew: if that's cool with you matthew: no worries if not ik you said you haven't totally unpacked

You can't help the smile that tugs at your lips at the last text. Maybe he really didn't see you as just his brother’s best friend. You quickly type a response back.

you: of course you can !! you: and fyi i did unpack you: sorta

matthew: am i supposed to believe that???? matthew: be there in like. 20 matthew: i still gotta shower lol

you: then shower it up stink monster you: see u sooooon you: any snack/drink requests?

It takes a few minutes to get a response from him, and you assumed that he showered during that time. Over the past month Matt almost never lagged when it came to responding to texts, except for practices and games.

Your phone buzzes again, but this time it’s a Snapchat notification from Matt. You click on it and the app switches. Tapping on the red square reveals Matt, seemingly fresh out of the shower with his thumb up. That caption reads “fastest shower time on the team? yessir”, another caption underneath reading “no longer a stink monster”.

You laugh and respond to a photo of the top half of your face, typing out “yeah yeah answer my text stinky”. He opens the snap immediately, and 30 seconds later you get a text from him.

matthew: yo tbh if you have popcorn 👀👀

you: ur in luck i do!! the super buttery kind tho :/

matthew: my fave matthew: don't tell anyone on the team tho

You pause for a moment. You hadn't even met anyone on the team, only heard them in the background of the few phone calls you'd had with Matthew. Did he want you to meet them?

Shaking the thought out of your head, you react to the message with the laugh reaction and assure him you won't. He texts you to let you know he was on his way and suddenly you panic again. Matt hadn't been in your apartment since your first week in Calgary. Even then it wasn't really your apartment, it was just an empty place filled with boxes. He had helped you build all the furniture that had arrived, but since then you’d only hung out with him at restaurants or bars or coffee shops.

You don't know why the idea of him in your space makes anxiety wash over you, and you have to remind yourself that Matt is someone you grew up with. He's your best friend’s brother and someone you've known your whole life, but for some reason you still felt like you had something to prove to him.

There's a heavy knock on your door before you can pull yourself out of your head enough to make sure everything in your apartment is clean and tidy, and you almost want to scream but you figure it would be weirder than having a slightly messy living room.

When you open the door for Matt, the first thing you notice are the two forming bruises on his face. The second thing you notice is how tired he looks, his smile genuine but still not reaching his eyes.

“Hey,” you breathe out, “Come in.” He bumps your shoulder softly in a silent greeting as he slips past you into your apartment.

“The place looks great, Y/N/N,” Matt says softly, admiring the decorations and photos you’d placed around to make it feel more like home. You're glad he isn't facing you and can't see the surprised look on your face at hearing him call you by your nickname.

“Thanks Matty,” you say, your anxiety fading when he turns to smile at you again. “I’ll get the popcorn, you can pick a movie or a show or something, if you want.” You chuckle softly as he all but collapses on your couch, stretching out as you make your way towards the kitchen.

Matt’s eyes follow you as you disappear through the doorway, the sound of the microwave starting just a few moments later. If he wasn't so tired and bruised he would pay more attention to the nervousness bubbling up inside of him. It had been a long time since he really hung out with you like this - the last time he can remember was probably his senior year of high school. Brady had been gone on a class trip for one of the few classes you hadn't taken together, and Taryn was still too young for you to relate to her. So for a full week you showed up at their door and flopped on his bed, or vice versa, claiming that you were bored and were there to stay. He remembers pretending to be annoyed, but inside he was practically screaming, overthinking every little thing that he said to you.

His teammates would chirp him if they knew - Matt had known that for sure. What, a hotshot hockey playing senior getting butterflies over a sophomore girl? Oh, he would be torn apart in the locker room. That's why he didn't kiss you then. It was stupid, really, now that he thought back on it, but he was 17 then, and his teammates’ opinions were more important to him than taking a chance with his brother’s best friend.

But now you were here. In Calgary. And he was here, in your apartment.

He feels 17 again, your sweet voice floating from the kitchen asking him if he wanted anything to drink. He replies that he only wants water, and decides to take you up on looking through Netflix. He settles for a random episode of Parks and Rec when you come back to the living room, a bowl of popcorn in one hand, and two glasses of water somehow held in the other.

You make a face at him and shove his legs out of the way with your foot, placing the bowl and glasses on the table. You laugh when he groans and moves his legs out of the way so you can sit, before moving them back onto the couch to tangle with your own. Matt reaches for the bowl of popcorn as you snatch a blanket from its spot on the back of the couch and drape it over both of your legs.

“Still cold all the time, Y/N/N?” Matt teases, nudging his foot against your knee as you laugh sharply.

“Haven't changed a bit, Matty,” you throw back immediately. Your heart skips a beat when he laughs, a really, loud, genuine laugh, head thrown back and everything. You can't help but think that it suits him more than the tired smile he wore when he showed up at your door.

“You really haven't,” he says with a grin, eyes finally sliding back to yours. His hair curls over his forehead, but you can't look away from his eyes. The intensity of his stare makes you shiver, and you pretend it’s from the cold, pulling the blanket towards you more and looking away. You ignore his grumble of protest, but he lets you do it anyway.

“You haven't changed either, you know,” you say quietly. He stays silent, only shifting in his spot to get more comfortable.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, your eyes on the TV and his on...well his eyes are on you. He thinks back to all the times he wanted to make a move on you. Countless hours he spent beating himself up for letting the opportunities slip through his fingers because of his stupid pride.

He's not 17 anymore, he could kiss you right now. He could wrap his arms around your waist and pull you into his lap, kiss you until you're breathless and absolutely begging for him.

But he doesn't.

Not when you look like this, so comfortable and warm and here. He can't kiss you when you opened your home to him after a tough loss. He can't take advantage of you like that.

So Matt trains his eyes on the TV again, sneaking glances at you here and there as he all but shovels popcorn into his mouth so he doesn't say something stupid. He doesn't realize you've fallen asleep until he sneaks another glance at you, this time looking for just a little longer than a split second.

Your eyes are closed, cheek smushed into the cushion and your chest rising and falling with soft, even breaths. He realizes then how tired you must be, it’s nearly 11:30 and he knows you have to be up early for work. He can't tear his eyes away, can't help but take advantage of being able to stare at you without getting caught.

God, you're so cute like this, he wishes you were in his arms instead of on the other side of the couch. He wants this to last as long as possible, but your head is tilted at an awkward angle, and he doesn't want you to go to work tomorrow in pain.

Instead of taking his time looking over every inch of your adorable sleeping face, he gently untangles his legs from yours, grabbing the empty bowl and cups and heading to the kitchen. Once he's done washing them and placing them on the drying rack, he heads back to you, pausing in the doorway for one more moment to just look at you.

He finally convinces himself that he’s stared enough, it’s getting creepy now, and you need to go to bed. Matt makes his way back to you, squatting down and gently placing a hand on your arm.

“Y/N/N?” he says softly, rubbing softly up and down your arm.

“Hmm?” you hum softly, blinking slowly with blurry eyes.

“You gotta go to bed,” he murmurs, and he can't stop himself from brushing a piece of hair out of your face. “You have work in the morning, c’mon.”

You whine in protest and your eyes flutter shut again. You're too comfortable, too warm to get up now. Matt sighs, resignation setting in. He slowly peels the blanket off of you, folding and draping over the back of the couch like before, before sliding his arms underneath your back and knees and lifting you effortlessly.

You mumble something unintelligible as you bury your face in his chest. Matt says nothing as he finds your bedroom, depositing you on your bed as soft as he can, and tugging the duvet out from under you and then back over you again.

“You can't go home,” you mumble again, louder, grabbing his hand feebly before he can walk away. Matt freezes at the implication, even though he knows the thoughts spiraling in his mind are unlikely in your barely awake state. “S’late Matty, you can't go home.”

“Y-you-you want me to sleep here?” he stutters, and you nod, blissfully unaware of the rampage of emotions in Matt’s head.

“Guest bedroom’s furnished,” you slur, voice thick with exhaustion. “Don't go home. S’late.” With that, you're fast asleep again, and Matt - well -

Fuck, Matt thinks. He's fucked. And he knows it.

II.

Based on the look on Noah’s face, Matt knows he's going to get one hell of a lecture as soon as you're out of earshot. He'd finally taken you to meet his teammates, and he was really starting to regret it. He knows that you're beautiful, he'd just rather not watch his teammates stare shamelessly. He really is glad he told them warned them to keep their hands off though, using the excuse that you were his brother’s best friend and there was no way he would let those hooligans go after you.

But now that you're actually meeting them, Matt knows that they're going to call him on his shit. His team knows him better than that.

His hand is resting against the small of your back as he leads you to a booth towards the back of the bar. He slows down before he gets within earshot of the table, leaning in to ask softly, “You okay?”

You glance up at him with a nervous smile, but nod anyways. “Yeah,” you assure him, “I’m good, I just hope they like me.”

Matt laughs at that, shaking his head at your confused expression. His laugh fades as you raise an eyebrow, looking at him expectantly. “They'll love you,” he finally clarifies, “Promise.”

“Promise?” you say skeptically.

“Promise,” he confirms, and the grin on his face is infectious, you can't help but smile back at him. “C’mon,” he says, pushing you lightly until you reach the table.

“Matty!” exclaims one of the men at the table. A brunette, from what you can see in the dim light, and a face that makes him look 14. At his drunken greeting, the rest of the men and women at the table turn to look at you and Matt, making you shift uncomfortably under their collective gaze.

“Aaand he’s drunk already, this is Brady and I’s friend, Y/N,” Matt introduces you, his hand sliding from your back to squeeze your hand comfortingly. He introduces each of the people at the table - the baby-faced one was named Johnny - before nudging the blonde that looked like a Disney prince until he moved over to make room for the two of you.

“Hi,” you say, smiling shyly around the table. “It’s nice to meet you all, Matt’s told me a lot about you.”

“Hope he wasn't talking shit,” Prince Charming teases with a slight accent, flashing you a bright smile. What was his name? Elias?

“Oh he talks the most shit,” you banter, a sly smile tugging at your lips at Matt’s incredulous protest. “Always going on and on about how annoying you guys are - mmf!” Your teasing is cut short by Matt’s hand covering your mouth. Without thinking you lick the palm of his hand, laughing when he snatches it away again and off of your mouth.

“That's gross,” Matt complains, wiping his hand on his jeans.

“You asked for that,” you shoot back, elbowing him lightly when he rolls his eyes.

“You know, I’m starting to regret this,” he grumbles, fighting the smile playing on his lips, “you’re just as annoying as them.”

“Be nice Chucky!” Noah pipes up. You recognize him from the few times you’d stopped by Matthew’s apartment but had never stayed long enough to actually get to know him.

“Yeah, Chucky,” you taunt, “better be nice to me, I know where you live during the off-season too.” The table erupts into laughter at that, and you accept a fist bump from Elias.

“I like this one, Matthew,” Giordano says, “You better keep bringing her around.”

You flush at the compliment, having heard how highly Matt speaks of his captain.

Matt feels you relax into the booth, the tension in your body since your arrival finally draining at the approval from his team. He leans down slightly to murmur in your ear, “I told you they'd love you.” You smile at his words, tuning back into the conversation that had started up again.

“Matthew,” Elias suddenly says, drawing your attention away from the intense discussion about whether or not hotdogs were considered sandwiches (the group was split almost 50/50, by the way). “Let’s go get more drinks. Noah?”

You scoot out of the booth to let the two of them slip out, heading to the bar with Noah in tow, sliding back in to find yourself seated beside a beautiful blonde girl. She laughs when you say timidly, “I’m sorry, could you all tell me your names again?”

She introduces herself in a thick accent as Annica, Elias’s girlfriend, and the other girls do too, before quickly striking up a conversation. “Do not worry,” she says kindly, “I forgot most names the first time I met too.” You laugh at that, before some of the wives and girlfriends start to ask you about yourself.

“How do you know Matthew?” Brittany, Sean Monohan’s girlfriend, asks curiously.

“I grew up with him,” you explain. “Brady’s my best friend, they live across the street from my family.”

At the same time that you’re getting to know the girls at the table, Elias is slapping Matt upside the head.

“Dude!” Matt groans. “What the fuck?”

Noah rolls his eyes at Matt’s faux-obliviousness, “Dude, that girl is a smokeshow.” Noah manages to dodge Matt’s fist aimed at his arm, smirking at the defensiveness. “Just your friend huh?” he chirps, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Matt groans again, “Yes, just a friend, the hands-off rule still applies.”

Elias snorts, unconvinced, leaning back against the bar to observe you interacting with the team and WAGs. “She’s funny, and fits in well,” Elias remarks. “And Noah is right, she is a smokeshow.”

“I know,” Matt grumbles. “Don't you have a girlfriend?”

Elias throws his head back and laughs. “Annica pointed out when you walked in. Anyway, she's yours, clearly.”

“Dude.”

Matt was getting really sick of the chirping coming from his teammates. To be fair - they were right, but he couldn't let them know that. But as he follows Elias’s gaze to see you talking animatedly to the girls at the table - all of their attention trained on you - he can't help the soft smile on his lips. He's right, you do fit in well.

He wonders how you'd look wearing a jacket with his name on the back.

Noah’s voice snaps him out of his daydream. “I'm just saying man, you already look like you're halfway in love with her, so get on that.”

“No,” Matt snaps finally, before his expression drops slightly. “Besides, our parents are fully convinced that she and Brady are gonna end up getting married or whatever.”

Noah and Elias both wince at that, giving him sympathetic glances. Matt rolls his eyes, snatching half the round of drinks the bartender had deposited in front of them, and heading back to the booth, knowing that Elias and Noah were hot on his heels. Thankfully, he makes it before they can say anything else that might inspire Matt to do something stupid.

But as he slides back in beside you, watching you interact with his teammates - his family away from family - he can't help but think about how wrong Noah was.

More than halfway, Noah, way more than halfway.

III.

Matt’s lifelong habit of running away from his feelings just didn't seem to apply to you. No matter how much his feelings grew, how much they scared him, he still stayed. He still hung out with you, and texted you constantly. He still brought you to every team event under the guise of not wanting some random girl with him, and that he'd much rather have you there.

When you told him about your feelings for his brother, it stung. So Matt did the only thing he could - not run away, he could never run from you. He crushed the hurt away, pushed his feelings down down down until they were just a whisper at the back of his mind.

But then he made a mistake. He made an enormous, colossal, devastating mistake.

He kissed you.

He was wine-drunk, and so were you. Maybe that's why you let him. Maybe that's why you kissed him back. It was easier to believe that it was a drunken decision than let himself have any hope.

You'd been at his apartment for dinner, something that had become a weekly occurrence now. Matt couldn't deny that he liked this, having you to himself without anyone Brady to steal your attention.

You'd ordered in today, boxes of Thai takeout littering the counter. Matthew hadn't bothered to clean up after you were both done eating, insisting that he’d take care of it later, and for now you could just hang out. So that's what you did.

The two of you sprawled on his couch, forgoing wine classes to just pass the bottle back and forth until both of you were giggling. Your cheeks felt warm from the wine, and you felt good. You felt relaxed and at home.

You're thrown into another fit of giggles when Matt reminds you of the time Brady had fallen asleep after a game when you had all gone out for ice cream. He had ended up face planting directly into a scoop of his barely-eaten vanilla ice cream in the car on the way home, immediately snapping awake at the cold dessert hitting him directly in the face.

Through your laughter, you say “What about the time you were trying to impress - hic - that girl - what was her name, Brenna? - and then you -” you cut yourself off, laughing uncontrollably at the unimpressed look on Matt’s face. He knew exactly what you were talking about, and it was easily one of the more embarrassing moments of his life. When you can catch your breath again you finish “- and you were staring so you slipped and fell on the ice!”

Matt groans as you keep laughing, before a devious idea comes to mind. You know that look on his face all too well, your eyes widening as your laughter dies down.

“Matt-” you start as he starts reaching for you, turning into a shriek when his hands reach their destination. “Matt, no!”

His fingers finding your sides and tickling you mercilessly.

“Matt!” you gasp, squirming to escape the torture. “I’m sorryyyyy! I won't mention it again, I promise!”

He pauses for a moment, eyeing you suspiciously.

“Promise?” he asks, his hands not leaving your sides even when you nod. He hums when you promise, distracted by your closeness. The wine made his mind fuzzy, and the feelings he's been harboring for so long come bubbling to the surface.

Matt is terrified he's going to say something he’ll regret - especially with the knowledge of your feelings for Brady - so he does the only thing that will shut him up. He does what he was too cowardly to do when he was 17.

He kisses you.

A surprised moan escapes your throat, but then you sigh, leaning into him and leaning into the kiss. His hold tightens around you as he tilts his head to slot your lips together. Your hands come up to run through his messy curls, making a noise of appreciation at how soft his hair is.

Matt can't help himself, he leans back to his side of the couch, tugging you with him and into his lap. One hand leaves your waist to cup your jaw as you straddle him, his teeth tugging at your lip before sliding his tongue into your mouth. The hand on your waist comes down to your ass, a strangled moan breaking the kiss as his hand pushes you impossibly closer to Matt.

Matt reconnects your lips immediately, addicted to the feeling of finally kissing you after all these years. Through the haze in his brain he thinks that this is probably a bad idea, but fuck does he love it.

You whine needily and break the kiss, rocking your hips against Matt and making him gasp.

“Fuck,” he rasps, his hips jerking upwards to grind into you. Your eyes flutter open for a moment, shuddering at the dark look in Matt’s eyes. You think of saying something - anything - but Matt’s hand curls around the back of your head and pulls you back in to meet his lips.

You tug at his hair as he kisses you, letting him move your hips into an undulating motion against his own. Matt's mouth drags away from yours, your whine turning into a soft moan as when he kisses along your jaw and down your neck. You shiver when you feel his teeth graze the column of your throat.

Matt kisses every inch of exposed skin, unable to help himself from sucking a deep purple mark into your skin just above your collarbone.

“Matty,” you whimper, grinding down harder against the growing tent in his sweatpants. Matt decides that your whimpers and moans are his favorite sound, and vows then that he’s going to do everything in his power to pull those noises from your body. He can't get enough of you, the way your hands roam over his shoulders and through his hair and the desperate way your grinding against him. You say his name again, this time a soft sigh as he keeps kissing at your skin, the hand on your ass sliding up and underneath your thin v-neck.

“Baby,” he grunts against your skin, running his nose up along your neck. You whimper at the pet name, and Matt gets impossible harder under you. “Baby,” he whispers again, pulling back to look you in the eye. “Tell me if you want this, angel.”

You nod frantically, leaning in to press your mouth on his again.

“Please,” you mumble against his lips. “I want this. I want you.”

Matt moans at the words, wishing that it were true in every context. Instead he wraps his hands under your thighs and stands, making his way blind towards his bedroom. He tosses you on his bed unceremoniously, kicking the door shut behind him.

You look up at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks, reaching for him again, aching for his touch. Matt crawls over your body and brushes the hair out of your face as he hovers above you.

“Matt,” you whine needily, wrapping a hand around his neck to pull him down to kiss you again.

As Matt strips you of your clothes as well as his own, he lets himself pretend this is real. He fucks you with brutal, merciless thrust of his hips, and pretends like this isn't going to be a one-time thing. He lets himself feel while you cry out for him and arch your back as you cum. He calls you baby and acts like this isn't a drunken mistake you’re probably going to regret in the morning.

And when you're both spent, his arms curled around you as you give him a dopey, sleepy smile - looking like a real life angel, he thinks - Matt lets himself pretend, for just a moment, that you love him too.

IV.

He hates this.

Matt hates this.

He hates the feeling of your body shaking against him, uncontrollable sobs wracking your body. Brady had left that morning for Ottawa after Autumn had reached out to him, asking to give their relationship another shot. And Matt hates him for it right now.

He hates the sound of your crying, the tears spilling onto his shirt. He hates that you feel like this, heartbroken and miserable.

Matt hates how responsible he feels for this. He was so sure that Brady reciprocated your feelings, telling you over and over again that he was positive his brother loved you too. In hindsight, he might have been projecting, but to him, it was impossible not to fall in love with you.

The thing he hates the most, though, is how selfish he is. How he can't help but think of how good it feels to hold you again.

Another sob rips itself from your throat and Matt’s arms tighten around you, pulling you so that you were flush against his chest. He buries his face in your hair, whispering “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over as you break down in his arms.

He barely registers the feeling of you shaking your head against his shoulder.

“Not your fault,” you mumble through your cries, shaking your head more vigorously. “It-it’s not - it’s my fault - I thought -” You cut yourself off and bury your head in his shoulder as your bawling continues.

“It's not your fault,” he insists as one hand comes up to cup the back of your head, running through your hair in soft strokes. “It’s not, it’s not your fault, you did nothing wrong.”

Matt holds you like that for what feels like eternity, your sniffles and cries coming slower and slower until they stop. He still holds you tight, tracing patterns over your skin and running his hands through your hair soothingly. He whispers gentle words in your ear, comforting you the best he can.

Eventually you pull back slightly too look up at him, making Matt mourn the loss of feeling every inch of you pressed up against him. You look tired, sleepy, but most of all, you look sad - and it kills him inside.

“Thank you,” you whisper hoarsely, making Matt’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“What for, angel?” The nickname doesn't go unnoticed by you, and you can't help the warm feeling that worms its way through your heartbreak.

“Everything,” you shrug, not wanting to really say the truth. Matt takes it for an answer, even though you both know it’s really not, and smiles gently, brushing hair out of your eyes like he's done so many times. “M’sorry about your shirt,” you mumble, and Matt laughs at that, his head thrown back.

“I've got plenty of shirts,” he teases, thumb sliding back and forth over your jaw comfortingly. As his laughter fades, his gaze becomes locked on yours. You look like you're in deep thought, at war with yourself, and he barely refrains from asking you what you're thinking about.

“Okay?” Matt asks gently, eyes softening when your eyes focus on him again. You open your mouth as if to say something, before closing it again and nodding slowly. “Y/N/N?”

Before he can really ask what's going on, you're throwing your arms around his neck, your lips colliding with his. Matt can't help but melt into the kiss, cupping your cheek as your lips move together. He hadn't felt this in so long.

Oh, he missed this. He missed the feeling of your mouth on his. Missed kissing you until you were breathless. Missed the way you fit perfectly in his arms.

He moans gently, nearly delirious with his need for you.

A pang of guilt shoots through him, making Matt pull away even as you whine and chase his lips. You look up with wide eyes and a slight pout, before you seem to realize what just happened.

“Fuck, I’m - I’m sorry,” you gasp, scrambling to escape his embrace. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - that was fucked up - I’m sorry -”

Matt’s grip only tightens, grabbing your chin to make you face him. “Hey - hey,” he says sharply, making you stop struggling and look at him. “It’s okay, I promise, we just - you're not in the right - we can't -”

“I know,” you cut him off, “I know, I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” he assures you again, before asking you softly, “Do you want to go home?”

You weren't sure which home he meant - your family’s house across the street or Calgary - but either way you shake your head frantically, clinging to him tighter at the idea of being alone with your broken heart right now.

“Okay,” he soothes gently, “That's okay, I’m gonna go shower, okay? You wanna change?” You glance down at your clothes - sweatpants and a t-shirt - and shake your head again.

“This is fine,” you say timidly, your voice small and sad and widen the hole in Matt’s heart.

“Okay,” he murmurs, setting you gently on his mattress and tugging the duvet over you. “I won't be long, I promise.” You nod sleepily, your eyes already fluttering shut as you acknowledge him, as he backs away slowly.

Matt has to clasp a hand over his mouth in the shower, muffling the noises out of his mouth as he weeps.

He almost wants to laugh at the irony of it all. You love Brady. You love him and your heart is breaking because of it. And so is his. And even as Matt puts on clean pajamas and crawls back into his bed beside your sleeping figure, he still feels like he might start to cry again.

But then you mumble his name, your voice thick with sleep as you reach for him. Your hands feel small against his chest as you fist the material of his shirt and tug him towards you, sighing contently when his arms slide around your waist.

You fit so fucking perfectly, Matt thinks, with your body tucked into his like this. His eyes linger on your face for a few moments, taking in the peaceful look on your sleeping face after hours of anguish and emotional turmoil. As he begins to drift off, his last thought before he falls into slumber, is how he's never been more at ease, more happy, more in love, than when he's with you.

Matt has never been in so much pain in his entire life. The moment his eyes fluttered open, still blurry from sleep, he snapped them shut again. It was too bright. Why is everything so bright? He only knows one person that keeps the blinds open when they sleep and that was - Matt’s blood runs cold.

“I like it when the sun wakes me up,” you’d said when he asked you. “It feels less like an alarm clock and more of a gentle reminder, you know?”

He didn't know, he really really didn't, especially with the pounding in his head. But he has to know for sure, so slowly but surely, he opens one eye and then the other. Matt’s heart rises to his throat when he realizes where he is.

Part of him thinks he might die on the spot. But the other part - the selfish fucking part of him - whispers that waking up in your bedroom is what he's been dreaming of for months.

But then it hits him. The pain.

Not the pounding headache, no - this was worse. This was so much fucking worse. It was worse than the day in his parents’ basement when you walked away from him all those months ago. Worse than the night he came home and found you naked in Brady’s bed. This pain felt worse than anything he'd ever felt before.

It’s excruciating. He feels like someone had punched a hole in his chest and torn out his heart. The ache in his chest surpasses the throbbing in his head.

Matt feels like he's going to cry, the desire to curl up into a ball and disappear overwhelming him and he wants to cry.

How did he even get here?

Matt doesn't remember most of last night, little snippets here and there. He remembers your Instagram post, the cutest fucking picture he's ever seen of you holding and ice cream cone and laughing, a smudge of the frozen treat dotted on your nose. He remembers grabbing a bottle the moment he got home. He remembers Noah and Elias, remembers seeing their lips moving, but doesn't remember what they said.

Before he can stop it, there are tears slipping down his cheeks. Matt is so fucking sick of crying. He's tired of feeling like this.

And he hates that he knows that it's his own damn fault.

The idea of seeing you again - of you seeing him like this - makes his skin crawl. He promised to leave you alone after the game, and he’s ashamed that all it took was an Instagram post and a little too much liquor for him to come crawling back.

The selfish part of him pipes up again. You can't help it. You love her. She's yours.

Being here, in your apartment, your bedroom, makes Matt dizzy. He needs to leave. Now.

He’s in such a rush to leave, roughly wiping at the tears on his face, he almost doesn't notice the pair of pills on the nightstand, a glass of water set on a coaster beside them. He hesitates for a moment, but decides that he doesn't want to feel like a trainwreck for the rest of the day, and downs the pills with a gulp of water.

There's clattering in the kitchen, preventing him from a stealthy escape. Matt is shocked when you don't let him leave, head spinning with exhaustion and confusion and really - just your presence. He can't stop staring at you. Even like this, in a hoodie and leggings, Matt thinks you're the most beautiful fucking thing he's ever seen.

This is too domestic. He shouldn't be here. This is too intimate. Too much.

This isn't for you. Brady is the one who should be here. Matt flinches when the thought slithers into his head, but before he can make it out the door, you're turning from the stove and practically yelling at him to sit. You sound like his mom, he thinks, but sits anyways.

When you ask him about Autumn, Matt thinks he might die. Right then and there, he wishes the floor would swallow him whole. But instead of that happening, his stupid fucking mouth moves to vomit out the words before his brain catches up. “I was sick of seeing him hurt you, I watched him hurt you for so long, Y/N, I held you while you cried and I - I never want to be the one to make you feel like that.”

This was the most you'd spoken in months, and even through the pain of seeing you again, Matt can't help but be overcome with relief. You didn't hate him. Matt feels dazed through the rest of the conversation, just barely focusing as a result of your presence addling his brain even as you snap at him to shut up. Until - until -

“..Brady and I are not together…he’s not it for me.”

Matt freezes, the words rattling inside his skull.

Not it for me not it for me not it for me

Matt shoves half a piece of French toast in his mouth, barely chewing it before swallowing and repeating your words back to him. You laugh at his bewilderment, your fingers curling around his own as you speak.

He's going to kill Brady, he decides as he finishes off the rest of his toast, immediately. His little brother is a menace and it’s finally going to catch up to him.

But he needs to hear you say it first. He needs it.

Then Matt is tugging you to stand up, and your hands are wrapping around his neck as he gets closer.

And you say it.

“I love you too Matty.”

And then he's kissing you.

Finally - finally - he's kissing you and you love him.

You love him.

Matt feels like he wants to cry again, this time for a completely different reason. The pain he'd felt this morning starts to drain away as you press yourself closer to him, hand slipping up to card through his curls. He pulls back to look at you for a moment, grin so wide he thinks his face might break. He leans in again, giving you one, two, three, four more kisses. With every kiss, Matt feels a piece of his heart returning to its place.

“Say it again,” he pleads, eyes fluttering closed as you whisper against his lips.

“I love you, Matthew, more than anything, I love you.”

And later, when you're giggling against his mouth on the couch as his fingers graze your ticklish sides and you're whispering the three words over and over and over again, he knows it's true.

He's it for you, you're it for him.

Matt loves you.

But more importantly, you love him.

FIN (for real this time)

#ta daaa #matthew tkachuk #brady tkachuk #all for you series #calgary flames #ottawa senators #hockey #nhl #imagine #smut #angst #my writing #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

354 notes · View notes

avenger-hawk · 3 years ago

Note

Why do you like Kakasasu?

I waited to reply to this because I wanted to be sure it wasn’t a troll and it wasn’t a drama starting attempt (like this or this, gems found in the sasuke/KS tag) since it’s a subject I am very interested in.

I replied to Kakashi/Sasuke related asks, shippy or not shippy, here, here and here. More about them here, here and here. Put yourself comfortable cause this is gonna be long. Not putting it under a readmore cause I remember ppl complaining they coulnd’t open it on mobile phones (?). Also, moralists who are lurking: don’t interact, get out of my blog. Youll be blocked on sight.

When I started reading N*ruto I was into Bleach a lot, and the fact that the characters were a little older and looked older made me not get into Nar that much at first, because they looked like kiddies lol. I didn’t care about Nar as a character and his initial rivalry with Sas was cute but not enough to get me interested. Only when Kakashi got closer to Sasuke I started being veery interested in the story and in the characters. What I found intriguing was that Kakashi was older and an authority figure, but also someone to look up and who helped his students, BUT at the same time he wasn’t exactly a father-like figure or a big brother-like figure, because he had his dark side, that back then wasn’t well flashed out but that nevertheless showed a closed-off person who kept everything inside, not letting others get too close to him.

(then I started liking N*rusasu mostly because there were so many cool doujinshi especially Emi10/Rankai and Engawaken, while KS doujinshi were so meh, kinda in old yaoi style like Loveless, with tiny Sas who looked even younger hahaha, not my thing)

As those who know my blog and/or my writing know already, I am not interested in healthy, cute, positive dynamics in fiction. I might enjoy them, I might be happy when there are such moments, but I can’t like a whole relationship/dynamic/story only like this because I like to explore complicated ones in fiction.Because fiction is very useful for this, it makes you explore dark, taboo things, without affecting reality (no matter what idiots say), it’s cathartic, it’s a way to do, see, experience things without doing anything.

Back to topic tho, I found their initial dynamic very intriguing. A broken, traumatized yet extremely driven Sasuke, acting as confident and strong as he can, but showing his trauma in various occasions, otherwise being mostly aloof, lost in his own thoughts, and a differently broken Kakashi, acting chill but at the same time always ready to act when needed, yet always kinda distracted, aloof, lost in his owh thoughts (and later we’ll know he took Obito’s mannerisms because he was a stickler to rules). The way Kakashi takes a special interest for Sasuke, clearly the most driven, the best of the team, with whom he holds back much less (when he trains them, like when in the beginning, during the bell test, he fights with Sas and seeing that he almost took it, he overpowers him) while he is different with the others (Nar will have Jiraiya later). The way he protects Sasuke during the chuunin exams, while he’s in the hospital and Kabuto is trying to kill him.

Mostly, the controversial moments...like I said I live for these kind of things. where he both protects and threatens him...like when he does that seal to Sasuke, for his curse mark, and he tells him that if that curse mark takes over he’ll kill him. Or when he ties Sasuke up so he won’t join Orochimaru.

Before someone says bs like *you’re not Sas fan if you like that scene* (I know there are many like this and I want all of them out of my blog btw) uh, it’s not how it works guys. You can support a character and still be intrigued by scenes where said character is tied up/in a forcibly submitted position and so on. Guess what, some of those scenes are made for fanservice even (and Sas has many of these, so if you don’t see the appeal/refuse to admit that there is appeal, it’s you who have a problem). So even tho I disagree with Kakashi not wanting to listen to Sasuke’s reasons for revenge (and later supporting SHikamaru’s, I replied to this in one of the asks I linked) I do find that scene interesting...I mean Sasuke tied up in a very suggestive way and yet defying him and threatening to kill his loved ones and Kakashi opening up in a very weird way vaguely replying that he lost those ppl already? It shows a lot about them, their personalities, everything.

I am sticking to part 1 because there are more meaningful interactions between them, I wished there were more in part 2 but kishi shifted Kakashi’s ‘interest’ to Nar, making him one of Nar’s followers...even so, the intractions they had were very interesting. Their fight after Sasuke fights Danzo is one of my fave moments in the whole story tbh, much more than the later confrontation with Nar. Kakashi for the first time has an inner only, yet strong, emotional reaction, having to fight and supposedly kill his former student who became a rogue with a death sentence on his head...he realizes this is how Hiruzen felt against Orochimaru. It’s a strong realization from someone like him who was always so closed off and aloof that he totally lacked empathy.

On the other hand Sasuke is in a different mindset. He’s sort of high for having succeeded in eliminating the one who made Itachi suffer so much, he’s thinking about killing the elders and destroy the village, so he’s basically lost in the recent past of Danzo’s death and in the future plans he’s making, he’s not in the present moment almost...but he has to fight anyway, and it’s a cool fight, also because he’s weakened already and Kakashi is strong...and then he gets blind, totally, and it’s an amazingly intriguing moment, the kind of controversial stuff I’m interested in, because that’s when he could be totally overpowered by Kakashi, if the story didn’t have other priorities (putting Nar in the center of attention with their confrontation).

Their later moments, like during the war, are meh cause the interest shifted already completely, but their moments in jail (anime only ofc) and their Shinden interactions (only through messages) are interesting to me. Very much so, because they show power dynamics very well, with Kakashi as THE authority and Sasuke as the one submitted. In jail it’s even more evident with him looking down at the younger tied up and blindfolded...like, wow. It’s like fanfiction material (in fact I wrote one (ff.net/a03) and there was the coolest fanart inspired by it! here..there were more but this came on my dash today so).

You mentioned power dynamics...their dynamics are all power dynamics because Kakashi was never at Sasuke’s same level and he never acted like he was, and when Sasuke was stronger, during the war, they basically didn’t interact, and when the war was over and Sasuke was brainwashed and tamed into submission the power dynamic remained the same.

The difference imo between them and other power dynamics based pairings is that they are closer than what could be defined rare pairings such as Obito (they had a very interesting one tho, if only it was developed), Madara (the story was already developed in a pro Konoha-anti Uchiha way but it would have been so cool to have the 2 Uchiha interact more), or other older and stronger characters, so the dynamic could be written in a cool way in a fanfiction but in canon Kakashi created it already. So, while I can imagine something like Shisui/Sasuke, Obisasu or more, in my head, and I can come up with some AU or canon divergent/canon behind the screen (like when Sas stayed with Obito after the transplant), Kakashi and Sasuke had canon interactions that showed power dynamics already.

(Then there is Itasasu, which is a huge power dynamic based relationship, that also had amazingly strong feelings though, and those who know me know that for me Itachi will always be Sasuke’s most loved person, and that he was the same for Itachi. So ofc imo IS is a much stronger bond compared to KS but still. Also I remember in the beginning how many fics I read where Itachi was abusive to Sas and Kakashi stepped in lol. And it’s not a mystery that even though I think the IS bond is the strongest I find other pairings and character dynamics very interesting, so much that I like to explore them even more than IS, which, imo, is almost a given fact so I don’t always feel the need to explore it)

Another thing I find intriguing is that Kakashi always saw Sas at his ‘worst’...in Konoha’s terms I mean. When he wanted revenge in pt 1, after he killed Danzo and he was weak and so desperate and hysterical that they thought he got crazy, when he was jailed. It’s a big power he has, to be able to see someone like this.

Tbh it’s a pity that there were no post war moments (B*ruto shit doesn’t count) where they interact ‘normally’ cause I would have liked to see them, both as normal interactions where they get closer again, now that Sas is older, where they train and they get physical (and Kakashi has a lot of repressed anger, jealousy and possessiveness to let out on the one who betrayed his sensei and went to another...not my opinion but it could be Kakashi’s pov) because I think power dynamic would come up a lot, even from apparently cute moments.

I’ll end this super long essay hoping that you didn’t fall asleep lol, and adding that Kakasasu was the first Nar pairing I shipped, which it speaks a lot about why I get so irritated when someone mentions it negatively.

#kakasasu #unfollow me or block me if this bothers you #even tho I want to be the one blocking you guys who have something to say against this #vivalarevolution #vivalarevolution: bonds

32 notes · View notes

giggles-and-freckles · 4 years ago

Text

i don't know if any of you are familiar with the concept of 'enneagram types.' if you're not, you can check it out here. lots of fun stuff to click around and read about if you're interested in what this even is. but i've been thinking about it in reference to some of our fave sw pals and have decided to do some character study via enneagram. first up: anakin skywalker in all his angsty glory.

Anakin Skywalker

Eight--The Challenger

Basic fear: of being hurt or controlled by others

Basic desire: to protect themselves and their loved ones

Anakin is an eight. Everything for him comes down to power and control. I believe his childhood as a slave is what really impacts this. He lived his entire childhood under the control of another and wanting to get out. Then, he found that freedom and essentially came under the control of something else (this is not to say that the Jedi Order actually functions as a slaver...but I think Anakin perceives it as that on several occasions). After the fall of the Republic, he becomes a slave to Sidious and the Dark Side. I would argue that the only time Anakin is every truly free is in his death, when he makes the completely independent decision to kill the Emperor. That dialogue between Luke and Ani is really telling, in my opinion.

“I’ll not leave you here. I’ve got to save you.”

“You already have, Luke.”

Because that’s all Anakin ever wants, really. He wants to be saved. And he never quite understands that only he can save himself. This power complex is very aligned with an eight. He so desperately wants control...but so easily falls into bondage over and over again.

Eights commonly have a childhood trauma or Moment that “flips a switch” for them. It takes their innocence once and for all and replaces it with a hardness that wasn’t there before. I think a lot of arguments can be made for this. Perhaps it was some unseen moment offscreen prior to The Phantom Menace. Maybe he watched a fellow slave die. Maybe he watched his mother suffer in some tangible way. Maybe it happened between TPM and Attack of the Clones. But for the sake of this analysis, I’ll use the Tusken Raiders as the Moment. We see it affect him in all the ways one of these “loss of innocence” moments for an eight normally does. It’s a game-changer. In canon, it’s Anakin’s first touch of darkness. In the real world, it’s him dealing with insurmountable pain and suffering. Interestingly, we see that this “loss of innocence” directly counters the basic desire of an Eight, as well. Protecting self and loved ones. He fails to do that. He watches the one he loves the MOST die in his arms. Which--for an eight--is the ultimate form of pain. To lose a loved one feels like personal failure. You LET them die. You LET them suffer You could have SAVED them. But you failed. We see Anakin deal with this onslaught of emotions and then...we see him take action.

Eights are a part of the gut triad. This means before they think with their head or feel with their heart, they act with their gut. Their impulse. I don’t think anyone would dare to make the argument that Anakin leads with his head (sorry buddy...but you are Himbo Certified), but I can see arguments for Heart. My only real counter here is that the two greatly influence each other. And we see him ACT in tandem with his feelings. He doesn’t just sit in his emotions and mope. I’ll continue to use the Tusken incident. Immediately, without any hesitation, he acts on his anger. Anger is not a primary emotion, it’s secondary. I’m not in Anakin Skywalker’s head, but as an eight...I feel like I almost see where he’s coming from, even in his worst moments. Doesn’t mean I agree or that I would partake. But I understand (and it hurts me). I see so much fear for him. Fear that he’s not as strong as he wants to be, fear that he wouldn’t be able to protect other loved ones if something like this happened again, fear that he’s weak when it really matters. Like when the time comes to protecting loved ones. That’s why everything spirals so fast with Padmé. He immediately gets put into that fear mindset. That “weak” feeling of “I can’t do it, I can’t save her…..but I have to.” That conversation between the two of them on Mustafar is evident of this. “Love can’t save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that.” Because that’s what it comes down to for Anakin. His worth lies on his ability to save himself and the people he loves. That’s why his perception of love becomes very selfish. He begins to care about the act of salvation more than the person them self.

One of my favourite moments is the classic “this is where the fun begins.” It’s such a silly quick moment but it’s so revealing of Anakin’s character. Eights feel adrenaline like no other number. Their vitality is completely based in their ability to turn their raw energy into something GOOD. For example, doing dangerous dives and spinning (because it really is a good trick) for the sake of the Republic. It gives Anakin a sense of “YES! See how good I am? See how I’m using my aggression and strength for good?” Especially important for someone who has committed atrocities and inspired destruction. To turn around and use that energy and skill for good? That’s invaluable. I think that’s a reason Anakin fails to see the hypocrisy of the Republic.

“What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?”

“I don’t believe that. And you’re sounding like a separatist.”

When Padmé merely questions the point of the war he so immediately snaps back and makes it a personal betrayal. He’s so quick to turn down the slight implication that he’s fighting for the wrong side. Eights are all about sides. All about choosing. Anakin can’t begin to consider that maybe his Side isn’t so altruistic. It would crumble at his very core. This is where the Challenger (the moniker of an eight) comes in. They love to challenge the world around them but absolutely cannot handle when someone else is challenging it in contrast to them. Well...an unhealthy eight anyway. Healthy eights see the importance of contrasting beliefs and the power of refining conversations.

Eights want to ‘leave their mark’ on the world.

“I’m not the Jedi I should be. I want more. And I know I shouldn’t.”

This plays into the ‘deadly sin’ of an eight. Lust. This isn’t explicitly sexual (though I guess it can be, at times). It’s more of a desire for MORE. A need for more. It’s all about that power and control. An eight never quite feels satiated...at least not in their unhealthy state. Which Anakin invariably is in. An eight is always seeking things to satisfy them. Through people and power.They’re not concerned with the actual accomplishment, in the societal standard. Before Anakin is granted a seat on the council, we never see him express a desire to even have it. It seems like that’s completely a Palpatine thing. I can’t help but put myself in Obi-Wan’s shoes there. Seeing Anakin’s overreaction and wondering where it’s coming from. Because Anakin has never seemed like he wants to be on the council. Quite the opposite in fact. His tantrum about being denied the rank of master is really evident of the stake Palpatine has already dug into Anakin’s mind. Ann eight’s desire is personal. They don’t care if they have the top title or the most power from the POV of the world. They worry about their own standards. Which is difficult because we never quite manage to meet our own standards and end up in a lot of disappointment. Anakin holds himself to a hard standard. Obi-Wan, Padmé, and Ahsoka all seem to recognise that in him.

“But be patient, Anakin. It won’t be long before the COuncil makes you a Jedi Master.”

“To be angry is to be human.”

“Maybe, but I have to sort this out on my own. Without the Council and without you.”

These encouragements are so unique because they ground Anakin in a very human way. They hit at his insecurities and remind him it’s okay. He doesn’t have to be all-powerful or perfect. Which they know he needs to hear because he can’t quite recognise these truths on his own. He needs the emotional coddling. Unfortunately, in these moments their words aren’t enough. Each of these conversations is characterised by impending sadness.

Eights are seen as the bravest people. I think this aligns well with what we know of Anakin. He has little to no hesitation when putting his life on the line. He volunteers for the most dangerous missions. Doesn’t bat an eye at horrific scenes. He’s willing to do the hardest and scariest things. He’s brave. He’s determined. When talking about Ahsoka, he says “no one has her kind of determination” to which Plo Koon immediately responds, “Except for you.” But this is such an interesting part of an eight to me because I believe eights are actually the most fearful of any number. Because what they fear is fear itself. They are so horrified at the prospect of being afraid it becomes almost dangerous. They will do whatever they can to mask that fear. Which is what puts a lot of eights into that anger reactionary position. A sort of ‘people can’t know I’m scared if I’m the one scaring others’ sort of mentality. The bravado, the courage–it’s all a facade to hide the fear that eights very uniquely do not feel qualified to experience on even the micro-level. It leads many eights to become dictatorial in the way they love others (which isn’t really love at all in the end). Pushes eights to commit atrocities in word or deed all for what they consider to be the ‘greater good.’ They push and prod at the lines a normal person knows not to cross. Not only do they cross them–they plow through them, hoping that it causes enough of a scene to distract from the fact that they’re just like everyone else. In fact, they’re even more vulnerable because no one has taught them how to exist in a state of need. No one has showed them how to ask for and accept help. Instead, they bottle it all up over long periods of times, releasing small bits in dramatic bursts of energy...until that line is crossed and all bets are off.

The goal of a healthy eight is to find a way to channel the aggression and drive into being the ultimate helper and advocate. Unfortunately, Anakin doesn’t get to this until the very end of his life. His fears guide him down a path of darkness. And we see him mask that fear with anger and hatred over and over again. That’s the way of the Dark Side so it’s no wonder it was so appealing to someone who had already been doing that without proper teachings. Anakin Skywalker had the potential to be one of the greatest forces for good in the galaxy. And for a split second at the end of his life, we see him do just that. It’s all the moments before, though; when he chose fear and anger and lust over and over again. Shoving strength and bravery into the vacancies of emotional competency. Until it all became too much.

#this was a lot and idk if anyone even knows what enneagram is on here #but its been really important for me in understanding myself and the people I love #im an eight by the way so I GET anakin #it hurts me but I GET him #just wish the world was kinder to him :(#wish he believed in his own power to save himself #sw meta #anakin skywalker #enneagram ramblings

36 notes · View notes

prophezeiung · 4 years ago

Note

the raven cycle

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you... ( accepting )

the first character i ever fell in love with: my main boy adam parrish.... on every reread since i have realized that he is a lil yikes in the beginning and loses his rights more than once but 17yo me said Ya Me Too every time adam did smt stupid... i am glad we both grew as people tho dkfkjfg

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: hmmm there only person that comes to mind is the gray man and i used to start off neutral towards him... like he’s a good character and antagonist and i respect him, but i’ve come to realize that his plot and the message it sends is just messed up...

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: blue and adam for obvious reasons, their bond is precious to me but nah that wasn’t it

my ultimate favorite character™: joseph kavinsky........ i straight up forgot how much i loved him and then i reread and it hit me all at once... now all i live dream breathe kavinsky it’s really not cute anymore... luna stop projecting on extremely terrible characters challenge but i fail every time..... also ronan lynch and adam parrish obviously

prettiest character: persephone in my head is just.... chef’s kiss..... also adam is straight up a work of art... beautiful man.... and last but not least piper greenmantle... i am so in love with her it hurts op she is straight up HOT

my most hated character: mr :) gray :) i’m sorry i blame this mostly on magpie and how she treats him esp in the context of who-deserves-redemption but yo it straight up sucks all my homies hate the gray man ... niall lynch is also a terrible fucking man i hate him too... also OFC barrington whelk but he is so pathetic and shitty i can’t even waste my energy on hating him you feel me

my OTP: ....... prokovinsky i hope that’s allowed...... also sarchengsey idc what y’all say they are meant to be <3 <3 <3 and pynch ofc !!!!! also? i blame @treppenwitzz and @zukunftsvision? but pynchvinsky is so spicy and i think so much about it, especially with the persephone passage y’all pointed out about the instability of two... the entire series has been about 3s i think both sarchengsey and pynchvinsky are very appropriate

my NOTP: maura and the gr*y m*n pls maura make good choices !!!!!!

favorite episode chapter/scene: the entirety of tdt plays on a loop in my head but if i had to pick it’d be the one where blue and noah kiss, the one where ronan dreams of adam and k, the one where ronan dreams the camaro and i am fuckin crying thinking abt it lol...... honorable mention tho to the lamp moment it’s so fucking iconic

saddest death: definitely not kavinksy kavinsky didn’t die???? so it’s gotta be noah if that counts or someone else i can’t tell u bc spoilers :/

favorite season book: the dream thieves oh my god so much is revealed and the ronan povs are everything !!!! also kavinsky obviously. trk is up there too if only for henry cheng and that ending baby

least favorite season book: hmmmmm tdt too for all the gray man chapters and that ending

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: i?? don’t know?? i think my opinions are p in line with the fandom i don’t hate that many characters, maybe the fandom is a lil too lenient on the gray man for my taste but that’s it?

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: all of the main boys op lmao ronan and gansey and even adam are so annoying and stupid but i love them with my everything. also maybe greenmantle ugh he is such an asshole bad person but he is FUN to me !!!! anyway if u want the obvious answer tho it’s kavinsky, who else

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: noah czerny... my boy.... we deserved so much more noah so i am so grateful to everyone who writes him... same goes for henry i am mad and upset we didn’t get 4 books of henry’s glory but u know what imma fix that

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: any ship involving k is just wrong and bad but especially if it involves declan or noah or gansey. terrible but honestly i would not say no.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: bluesey without henry... adansey.... ronan and noah idk what the ship name is but it’s prob ridiculous.... yeah..

#smilesnstrings #trc spoilers /#( only for book 1 and 2 tho )#𝐨𝐨𝐜. › answered › i can’t read :(

5 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years ago

Note

Heya Steph! I was wondering, you have so many fic rec lists and read so many, do you have on or a few johnlock fics you could always reread? Like, they are that good you can read them over and over...

Hi Lovely!!

AHHHHHH ACTUALLY, I’ve made a list for this before, but you know what? IT NEEDS A PART TWO because I actually pulled a lot of fics off of it to keep it shorter, so WHEE THANK YOU for giving me a reason to share even more of the fics I ALWAYS go back and never tire of!!

Top 30 Read-Again Fics (March 2019)

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Ten Fave Short Johnlock Fics (Easy Reads April 2018)

25 Fave Johnlock One Shots (April 2018)

Top 10 Fave Fics (September 2018)

Another Top 10 Fave Fics (June 2019)

Two To Tango (The Cold Hands, Warm Heart Remix) by igrockspock (T, 1,207 w., 1 Ch. || Domestics, John Whump, Worried Sherlock) – When John is wounded while pursuing a suspect, Sherlock refuses to leave his side.

Take My Hand, Knot Your Fingers Through Mine by patster223 (K+, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || H/C & Friendship, Whump) - "I know this is an inconvenience for you, but I would really rather you were awake right now, John." John is unconscious, and Sherlock decides to talk to him anyway. Sherlock/John pre-slash.

Let Go by thisisforyou (G, 2,743 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious / Worried Sherlock) – In the end, separating John's things from Sherlock's in the chaos of their sitting room is like pulling a limpet from a wet rock. Especially when the rock is clinging on for dear life, because Sherlock doesn't want to let go. Short, fluffy h/c Johnlock oneshot.

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

Measuring Damage With the Fujita Scale by teahigh (T, 3,548 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Vacation / Holidays, Friends to Lovers, Bed-Sharing, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Angsty Fluff, Scars, Awkward Talks) – John goes back into town, into the storm, and Sherlock realises he forgot to say, “I just want to be alone with you.”

Last Christmas by Mazarin221b (T, 3,911 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss) – That Earth-shaking revelation, then, leads to a problem, and one that Sherlock realizes should be solved quickly, before John’s dates turn into girlfriends or boyfriends, because sometimes girlfriends or boyfriends can turn into wives or husbands while your back is turned. Every time John hums happily at the mirror as he shaves, splashes on a little gift cologne Mrs. Hudson bought him for Christmas, Sherlock is drawn back to that night by the fire, and the way John’s touch had made the world stand still.

Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb (E, 4,578 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cuddles, Kissing, First Kiss, Requited Love, Pining Sherlock) – John is entirely done with the milk situation and gives Sherlock a list of shit he's pissed about. Sherlock sets out to make John happy. John is happy. Sherlock makes his own list. They are both very, very happy.

In Which "John" Becomes a Synonym for "Help" by asignoftwo (T, 7,391 w., 1 Ch. || Injured John, Worried Sherlock, Fluff) – After the fall Sherlock returns to Baker Street and is reunited with John. When John is injured on a case Sherlock is faced with the reality that he could lose John again, and it tears him apart.

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

I can’t pretend by Salambo06 (E, 7,692 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Victor Trevor, Jealous John, Miscommunications, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Anal, BJs) – They had arrived more than a hour ago, and the moment they had walked inside the hotel reception, John had understood why Sherlock hadn’t wanted to come. Two men, posh suits and expensive watches on their wrists, had come to greet them with sharp remarks and badly hidden mockery, and John had seen red. Sherlock hadn’t said anything, mostly ignoring the two men entirely, and without thinking twice about it, John had slid an arm around Sherlock’s waist and introduced himself as his husband.

Sibling Rivalry Or Fighting Over John Watson By Jessa7 (T, 8,085 w., 1 Ch. || Romance / Humour) – Mycroft is just as much of a genius as Sherlock is. He keeps randomly kidnapping John for chats, and the locations get better. Cue Sherlock’s younger sibling complex rearing up and jealousy ensues.

High Tide by stardust_made (T, 8,540 w., 1 Ch. || Jealousy, Angst, First Kiss) – A little favour Sherlock stupidly agrees to do for Mycroft leads to John meeting a handsome, affluent man, who is going out of his way to woo him. Sherlock struggles with the situation and with his own reactions to it. Part 1 of The High Tide Series

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E, 9,020 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Rel., Friends to Lovers, Humour, Romance, Smut) – What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it's for a case. Of course it doesn't stay that way. Part 8 of I Blame Tumblr

The Devil You Know by PipMer (T, 9,300 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Romance, Holmes Brothers, Jealous Sherlock) – The Holmes brothers are behaving oddly. John is dazed and confused. In other words, it's business as usual at 221B Baker Street. Except when it’s not.

Drive by lifeonmars (M, 9,537 w., 1 Ch. || Virginity, Awkward First Times, Minor Injuries) – John and Sherlock are stranded by the roadside, and John is injured. They need to spend the night in the back of a humvee. Sherlock is confused. John is understanding.

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John's opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there's a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii (T, 11,052 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock || Angels / Demons, Supernatural Elements, Occult) – Where Mycroft is an angel, Sherlock is a demon, and John is still John.

The River Variations by withoutawish (T, 11,619 w., 1 Ch. || Soulmates, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Three Garridebs, Romance, Light Case Fic, Near Death Experience, Angst and Fluff, Dark Humour) – John Watson never knew that he wanted a ‘no toast in the mornings’ normal until he realized what an honor it is to be destroyed by Sherlock Holmes.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w., 1 Ch. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Checkmate to a Castled King by LaSuen (T, 18,290 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt / Comfort, Sick Sherlock, Rev. Reich.) - John dies. Or at least everyone thinks he does.

Vena Cava by SilentAuror (E, 27,452 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fix-It, Romance, H/C, Angst, Infidelity) – Sherlock has been shot in the chest; John has been shot in the heart. Though everything is broken, they do their best to heal the wounds that Mary left on them both.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (E, 35,353 w., 7 Ch. || Humour and Angst, Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, UST / RST, Friends to Lovers, Jealous John) – Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody's happy.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

There's Someone On Your Shoulder by halloa_what_is_this (NR, 41,215 w., 6 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Daydreams, Sherlock Loves John So Much it Hurts) – Sherlock trips and falls head over heels in love, makes a lot of lists and stares, stares, stares.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w., 9 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock's faked death and return.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || Established, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis, Happy-ish Ending) –After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #fave fics #e-rated fics #astudyinconsultingdetective #long post

312 notes · View notes

him-e · 5 years ago

Note

Hi, I'm the anon who wrote the 5 asks about the Dany plotline and GRRM. I'd like to apologize to u for lashing out, it was uncalled for and u have every right to state those opinions regardless of what I (or anyone else) think. Feeling hurt by the show wrt Dany's story made me react badly to the idea that it was actually acceptable, especially coming from someone whose ideas I appreciate so much and have spent hours invested on. You can answer them, delete them, idk, I just wanted to say sorry.

No need to apologize, anon! I’m currently on semi-to-full hiatus and that’s why I’m being so slow at answering messages—and yeah, I understand the frustration completely, and I don’t blame you for it. ;))

I’m going to answer your ask anyway. Long reply after the cut:

I hope this doesn’t come off as offensive or confrontational bc that’s not the point, I’ve enjoyed reading your ASOIAF/GoT and TB metas for years and would not reply to them if I weren’t invested on them. That said, I’d like to ask why do you insist on 1) arguing that Dany’s dark turn was reasonable if you don’t hate her and 2) defending D&D and blaming GRRM for what happened on the show. When it comes to 1), sure, Dany might *accidentally* burn KL, but to willingly choose to burn thousands of innocents? She may accept that some casualties would have to occur, but not in the way that the show presented (in that she had the choice to not kill anyone but did). You argue that that direction was valid of because of the recurring theme of how power corrupts, but then I’d argue, what if it were Sansa, another character very much involved in the world of politics? Would you be ok if people argued that it’d make sense for her to give up her ideals and become just as power-hungry and cynic and bitter as Littlefinger? Probably not; what’s the point if those characters become their worst possible selves? Dany was made a villain, was implied to be mad and was called “your satanic majesty”. I really can’t see how you could call those writing decisions valid. When it comes to 2), I’m not saying GRRM is perfect, he’s been quite callous in the book series and especially in F&B when it comes to social issues, but D&D are also professional writers with critical thinking skills and moral values of their own who could have tried to alleviate the problems in the books and not made things even worse. That’s why I don’t get why you’re blaming GRRM for what D&D wrote when the former wasn’t even involved in the ending’s writing process aside from possibly giving them an outline of what happens. GRRM should be criticized for what he wrote and will write, and the finale may have feel been a product of his ideas, but he still has no (moral or legal) responsibility in helping to make the TV show better or worse.

The reason why I maintain that the show’s ending is a (badly written) version of GRRM’s ending is that I can 100% see Martin’s blueprint in the climax+anticlimax structure of the season. The way it twists the audience’s expectations and delves into what happens AFTER the final battle is won, the way it subverts the most reliable narrative conventions and, instead of building up in a crescendo towards a final spectacle where the heroes would sacrifice their lives to save the world in a blaze of glory, it shifts gears almost unpleasantly, slows down to show what happens to them once their heroic purpose is fulfilled and zooms in on their identity crisis, their depression and isolation and sudden lack of purpose… it’s all too deliberate, and IN MY PERSONAL OPINION it’s done with a vision in mind—something I don’t believe d&d would spontaneously put any effort in, especially not if GRRM had already served them a perfectly fine, crowd-pleasing endgame involving Dany’s heroic sacrifice against the Others.

I understand my stance might come across as “defending d&d and blaming GRRM”, but I’m really not? I’ve often repeated how I believe d&d messed things up and that GRRM’s version will make infinitely more sense and be infinitely better written, and I’m sure he will avoid the pitfalls of cynical, circular storytelling, because he’s ultimately a better writer and someone who believes in idealism and true heroism even as he deconstructs it. How can the overall narrative remain uplifting & give a message of hope and faith for humanity while still telling a story that ends with Dany’s descent into “true villainy” (but haven’t we repeated ad nauseam that heroes and villains are too reductive categories for asoiaf?), I don’t know, but it’s not my job to figure it out, and I ultimately trust & respect Martin’s vision and ability to tell the story HE wants.

sure, Dany might *accidentally* burn KL, but to willingly choose to burn thousands of innocents? She may accept that some casualties would have to occur, but not in the way that the show presented

1) I’ve always conceded that, while I think the gist of the storyline is Martin’s, there’s absolutely no guarantee that the battle of King’s Landing will go as we’ve seen in the show, or even happen at the same point of the story (for one thing, Young Griff & JonCon will probably be involved, and that seems more likely to happen before, and not after, the war for the dawn);

2) That said, what I’m relatively confident of, at this point, is that Dany will NOT die in the WftD as a self sacrificial hero (this is entirely FANON SPECULATION, and people treating it like a fixed point in the universe, something the narrative is “inevitably” building towards, is one of the reasons the fandom seems unable to critically analyze show!Dany’s evolution without going hysterical about it and resorting to no true scotsman arguments. I’ve often complained about the dangers of elevating fan theories to canon status, and trust me I never wanted to go full cassandra about this, but here we are). The details and plot points leading up to this might be wildly different from the show’s version, but I think Dany will survive the WftD, which will leave her directionless and purposeless and doubting the truth of her heroic destiny for the first time in her life after she hatched the dragons, and that she’ll cross the ultimate moral horizon in a hail mary to restore that sense of self, that sense of purpose, completing her parabola from princess in rags, to breaker of chains, to conqueror, to savior of humanity, to conqueror again, to TRAGIC HERO. How can this be a valid writing decision, you asked—well, why shouldn’t it? Is something only valid as long as it pleases the audience? What screams tragic hero more than the hero turning into the very thing she swore to eradicate, and realizing it only when it’s too late? There’s something genuinely chilly in Dany’s “if I look back, I’m lost” refrain. This is the mantra of someone who thinks the only way to stay alive is to cross one threshold after the other. So far this coping mechanism has brought her higher, and higher, and higher. But what if it will be her downfall? “I tried to grasp a star, overreached, and fell”, indeed;

3) Dany’s burning KL *accidentally* is like Stannis burning Shireen “but only if the circumstances are dire enough / the stakes are high enough”. No offense, but this is typical stan logic: you admit the possibility that your faves might go through a dark phase but you don’t want to have to unstan them, so you want them to do bad things for good reasons, or because there’s no other choice, or because “they didn’t know”. That’s understandable, but I don’t think Martin is the type of writer to give his character free passes or soften the blow of their moral crucibles like that. This is NOT to say that the show did Dany’s dark turn WELL, because it DIDN’T—her motivations were all over the place, the turning point (the bells) wasn’t believable because it lacked connection to her character arc, the narrative backed away from showing the attack from her pov which betrays the writers’ inability to make sense of this psychological downfall from HER perspective, etc. But to say “Dany will NEVER! BURN! INNOCENTS! ON PURPOSE!” sounds very, very premature to me.

(re: Sansa, hasn’t power corrupted her too, to an extent? Hasn’t she lied, schemed, manipulated, spilled secrets, in order to restore & secure the Stark hold on the North? Isn’t she queen, in part, because the rest of her family was scattered at the four corners of the known world? I’m not particularly happy with the way she was written this season, and I think some of her choices were questionable; but at the same time I reject the idea that a character ending up more flawed, or morally ambiguous, or less likeable than they were at the beginning must necessarily be bad storytelling)

I’m not saying GRRM is perfect, he’s been quite callous in the book series and especially in F&B when it comes to social issues, but D&D are also professional writers with critical thinking skills and moral values of their own who could have tried to alleviate the problems in the books and not made things even worse. That’s why I don’t get why you’re blaming GRRM for what D&D wrote when the former wasn’t even involved in the ending’s writing process aside from possibly giving them an outline of what happens. GRRM should be criticized for what he wrote and will write, and the finale may have feel been a product of his ideas, but he still has no (moral or legal) responsibility in helping to make the TV show better or worse.

Martin is not responsible of the show’s writing, but he is responsible of the outline he gave to the showrunners, and right now I have no reason to believe they didn’t follow it, at least for the most part. For years I’ve been told that “the show is not the books”, and while that’s certainly true, I can’t, and won’t, separate the show from the books when it comes to book speculation, because the show is still for all intents and purposes an ADAPTATION of the book series, and while it’s irresponsible to expect it to be a 1:1 transcription of what will happen in TWOW and ADOS, it’s also equally (imo) irresponsible to act like the two canons have nothing to do with each other and that it’s stupid to use the show as a resource for book speculation. If people want to pretend the show never happened, good for them, but that’s not the way I think, personally. I don’t blame GRRM for the show’s faults, and my reservations are actually 90% about the EXECUTION of the plot which is ENTIRELY on d&d, but there’s a 10% of my concerns that is about the IDEA in itself, regardless of context and execution—the idea of the story ending with a bittersweet anticlimax involving the death/downfall of the MOST PROMINENT FEMALE HERO OF THE SERIES, who is also the carrier of the most subversive anti-establishment political message in the story.

tldr: I’m not criticizing GRRM for what he hasn’t written yet, but I can certainly criticize him for what I think is a (however botched) adaptation of his outline, if the main selling points of said outline are questionable in themselves. No one can convince me that GRRM told d&d that Jon and Dany would die heroically to save the world and they ARBITRARILY decided to fuck it up for shock value or whatever, and just accidentally stumbled onto a more subversive and provocative ending than what Martin HIMSELF was planning. (that would make them two geniuses, even if the execution sucked, lol)

and if i’m wrong about it, well:

but until then…

#anon #asks #got wank #got asks for ts #got discourse #got finale #got negativity #show vs books #dany discourse #dany**#grrm #asoiaf spec #asoiaf endgame

24 notes · View notes

midnight-in-town · 6 years ago

Note

Hi! I just wanted to know how you rank all the stories you read these days. What story you talk about is your favourite, what is your second favourite, etc

Hello Anon! Sooo, I’m not sure I understood your question so please tell me if that’s not what you had in mind?

When it comes to on-going series I like to blog (more or less) about, my faves are as follow:

Ao no Exorcist

I already answered someone who asked me for reasons to give the series a try and, lately, it’s without a doubt my absolute fave, because we’re focusing on the main plot and there are so many answers, so many possible plot twists, so much angst that I wake up eager for more every day.

No kidding, the fact we didn’t have a chapter this month really had me downcast.

Anyway, the pace is consistent, the writing is top notch, I love the cast, what else can I ask for? xD

Berserk

What I wrote for AnE multiplied by 20, since this series is possibly the best story I ever read. It’s just that I have less excitement for it daily, because we don’t get chapters that frequently.

It’s not a criticism, as I understand why Sensei’s schedule is the way it is and, most importantly, within the story the pacing is great which is all that matters.

Anyway, whenever a chapter is close by, it definitely makes me super excited and I’m always looking forward to it, because Sensei never disappointed so far.

Shingeki no kyojin

Yeah, maybe it’s an unpopular opinion (?) but I totally dig the current arc and unfathomable!Eren, while Sensei is giving us answers about Zeke, so I can’t get enough of it. xD

Add to this that the anime is airing about the most tragic arc of the series and you’ve got why I’m overwhelmed by feels for this series lately.

Kuroshitsuji

Okay so. Actually it’s hard to explain, because if any other series had the same pacing issues as Kuro has had lately, I would have let go of it a while ago already.

However, for some reasons, I can’t let this series out of my mind, no matter how dreadful the pacing issues are and that’s why I’m still blogging about it.

Not gonna lie, I’m not looking forward to the chapters as much as I used to lately and I constantly fear plot convenience, but I still love to discuss the series and write theories. :)

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens

The fandom is, like, super small xD but IloveitIloveitIloveit. So many feels and I love the unexpected developments.

Gangsta.

Same as for Berserk: unfortunately, Sensei cannot give us chapters frequently but considering how much I love the story and its characters, I’m just happy with whatever we get.

I’d love more worldbuilding, but one of the latest chapters kinda answered why it was hard to figure things out about the plot’s circumstances, so I think I’ll just be here, enjoying the crazy ride. xD

Golden Kamuy

Well, I think this series is incredible and Sensei is a great author who knows his stuff. But:

=> I gotta admit that lately I noticed some pacing issues (most likely related to the fact that, from two main sides until the Abashiri arc, we evolved into several groups of characters working on different goals, so we have to switch POV often). It doesn’t impede my enjoyment though.

=> We also had some weird fandom conflicts happening after one character died and, not gonna lie, it did bother me because Sensei was unfairly called out, so I kinda took my distance and that’s why I blog less about it, even if I still love it.

Gintama

This final arc has been a mess, but in a good way, so it’s fine. xD

I’d rather have it that way actually, with Sensei taking all the time he needs to finish it properly (for this reason, everything post time skip made the final arc way more enjoyable), because a rushed ending can ruin good chunks of a story and I wouldn’t want that, considering how great this series is.

I feel kinda on edge though, because I know that, no matter how it ends, some parts of the fandom will be angry and I’m not here to browse through conflicts.

Akatsuki no Yona

L o v e d the current arc. Great story, great developments, etc.

Not enough theory content for my tastes, but ya know, that’s not the most important considering everything else that has been happening lately. xD

Black Lagoon

Clearly Sensei is not super motivated anymore to finish it, but hey, I still love what this series is about, its crazy characters and all the arcs till now.

Still hoping we’ll have more content soon, though. *sigh*

Vinland Saga

The current arc was kinda longish and a bit predictable on some parts (I mean, ain’t no way Sensei is going to butcher Thorfinn’s character development), but it’s still an amazing series. :)

I’d blog more about it, but the fandom is super small, so it’s not like I have a lot of people to interact with, haha.

The anime is coming up this summer though, so maybe this will change!

Chihayafuru

Oh boy. Errn I don’t want to start rambling, especially if you don’t know the story, but it feels as if it’s not at its best lately. :/

I don’t know exactly if this rather gloomy feeling within the story is on purpose by Sensei or not(it might be though), but all I can say is that I’m hoping that Sensei knows what she’s doing.

Lately though, seeing some developments, I have this fear that maybe she won’t be able to finish what she spent years on building, but here’s to hoping she’ll 100% prove me wrong.

Other series I keep up with, mostly from afar: Gokushufudou, Chainsawman, Witch Hat Atelier, Yotsubato……..

There are probably others but I can’t remember right now. xD I like all of them!

Sorry Anon, maybe it’s not what you wanted, but that’s how I understood your question. :) Have a nice weekend!

#ao no exorcist #berserk #shingeki no kyojin #kuroshitsuji #gangsta.#hakata tonkotsu ramens #golden kamuy #gintama #akatsuki no yona #black lagoon #vinland saga #chihayafuru #anon #answers #personal

66 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

Text

gingerjab replied to your post “ANYWAY. The petition/prayer circle for Michael Trevino to be cast as...”

I’m forever an asshole obsessed with fire/ice ships so Thunderbird or Sunfire, fuck the inhumans one off and St. John. Also, Rahul Kohli as Neal Shaara/Thunderbird/Agni. Also I’m sposed to be asleep so ignore if this is a shit idea.

For the record, I actually kinda like the Inhuman guy, cuz I mean, its not his fault he’s part of a trash franchise. I think it probably helps that I’ve only ever read one issue with him, so as to render it absolutely impossible for his writing to piss me off. I like to just close my eyes and pretend he’s a mutant. Y’know. Like I do with Kamala!

Who is obviously a mutant.

(And like.....let’s be real. The dude is a pyrokinetic with a demon form, the codename INFERNO, and his REAL name is DANTE Pertuz. DANTE. INFERNO. Like, that’s the on-the-nose-fuck-your-subtlety-we-came-here-to-be-pretentious-as-fuck-with-our-literary-references-look-how-dignified-it-makes-our-character balls to the wall character concept I am HERE for. I’m like OH HAI I SEE WHAT U DID THAR. And they’re like “oh yeah? You got it? Hahaha, we were worried nobody would, phew, good job tho. Totally adds to the character right? Pretty clever of us.” And then I’d be like Hahahaha no, not even a little bit, but ‘scool, I like him anyway cuz I’m easy like that. I put out for puns.” And then they’d be like awwwww, dammit, we worked so hard on that. And I’d be like....well, that doesn’t speak highly of your abilities, I mean it was a super obvious joke. And then I stopped making up conversations with hypothetical people in my head.)

Also, in defense of comic book St. John Allerdyce and absolutely NO OTHER VERSIONS EVER because agreed, they all suck....

Comic book St. John is a snarky Australian asshole who in between acts of mutant mass destruction, has a side career as a successful romance novelist under a pen name.

(I’m not even joking. Comic book St. John, in canon, writes romance novels in his spare time as a hobby. LOLOLOL c’mon, how is that not a great character beat for a supervillain slash occasional kinda-if-you-squint-superhero).

Anyway.

I too am also trash for fire/ice ships because SCREW SUBTLETY, WE SHIP THEMATICALLY. But like, its gotta be the RIGHT fire/ice ship. I weirdly have standards with my fire/ice ships? Probably just because I’m obsessed with Bobby Drake but whatever, who cares, how is that relevant.

I mean, OBVIOUSLY, you have your proto-fire/ice ship, the one, the original, the Word I came out of the womb prepared to preach and ship and like, spread to the masses....Bobby Drake/Johnny Storm. Because like. They are elemental dorks whose competitiveness is only matched by their dumbness, how can you not love them, I DEFY YOU TO SAY.

I’m kinda meh on Iceman/Pyro, because like, original comic book Pyro and Bobby never even interacted I think? And in cartoons they’re always totally different generations/age groups, and in the movies they’re like....boring and stale and not even all that attractive and also did I mention boring, omg no offense to whomever wrote them, but I tried reading Bobby/Pyro movie fanfic years ago because like, that’s the only movie Bobby fic there is, unless you want to read about him being an asshole to Rogue and/or cheating with Kitty and just generally driving Rogue into the arms of the much (much much much much, like ewww) older Logan or Gambit. Because srsly, so appealing. So obviously, I caved and tried reading Bobby/Pyro fics because like, they had the word ‘Bobby’ in them, and the bar is too low in my X-Men fic reading habits. And omg I fell asleep. I just. It was all just the standard m/m cookie cutter generic ‘good boy plus bad boy uwu yaoi-zowey’ bleh starring two not at all deeply written or well-acted meh-looking white dudes, and just. Why.

But that’s what I mean when I say I’m wary of fire/ice ships, because sometimes with powered characters like, authors think oh hey, LOOK ONE IS FIRE AND ONE IS ICE, THIS TOTALLY COUNTS AS THEM HAVING OPPOSITES ATTRACT PERSONALITIES AND THUS I DONT NEED TO GIVE THEM A PERSONALITY, RIGHT? Like. They’re just very boring and unimaginative in execution, just because they expect the basic premise of fire and ice/’obvious opposites attract, obviously’ to do all the work for them.

(Katey if you’re reading this I’m super for sure not talking about YOUR superpowered romances, because you are wonderful and GOOD at writing and imaginative, and thus none of this applies to you. Requisite disclaimer.)

So, when they did this random Bobby/’New Pyro Dude like where did he even come from I still dont know’ hook-up, I was prepared to like, yawn endlessly, because I figured it would be more boring imaginationless ‘ooh look what an obvious pair they are and yet still praise me for how clever I am for pairing them’ crap.

And I was absolutely right!

(But I mean, it was written by Marc Guggenheim, the odds of it sucking were totally in my favor. Betting against them being well-written under his pen might feasibly be construed as cheating. Whatever).

And also, the art did them ZERO favors, like I know they’re both generic blond dudes in their twenties, but I LITERALLY COULD NOT TELL WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WHICH in any of the panels that they were like, in bed together or dressing or talking or literally anything until they started using their powers to fight bad guys. It was soooooooo bad. Like the art just manifested every ‘look at the white gay date his mirror reflection lol what is variety even’ cliche and beat you over the head with it.

(Also Bobby is supposed to have brown hair, which at least would’ve helped a LITTLE bit. Meh. Still was gonna suck because like, nobody had any intention of WRITING them together, like, developing their characters and laying the groundwork for a possible relationship. It was just ‘oh look, the fire and ice dude got drunk at a wedding and hooked up, cool deal, now on with the story.’)

Anyway, the ONLY redeeming potential for a Bobby/Simon relationship in my opinion is ENTIRELY due to a fic I read with them. Its probably the only fic written about Simon ever, lmfao, so its not like the writer’s characterization of him has any competition among either canon or other fans’ renditions of him. But it was pretty well written, I actually liked their portrayal of Bobby, which I’m SUPER picky about in fanfics, and they actually invested time in developing Simon and his POV and giving him an actual personality and shit, that wasn’t half bad. So if Simon was written like that in the comics and their relationship progressed in similar ways, I could feasibly be on board with them.

But it won’t, so I’m not. Meh. Anyway.

I actually really REALLY like both Shiro AND Neal, with the caveat that I hate Neal’s stupid offensive-ass codename, I know Claremont only named him Thunderbird because he introduced him in an anniversary issue that was supposed to be a call-back to the original Giant Size lineup, and he needed a stand-in for John Proudstar, but like....wtf Claremont, just use your brain and save Neal to introduce a whole issue later and stick Jamie in John’s place the way everyone else does. He literally went by Thunderbird in the comics already in his Hellion days, which YOU wrote, so why the fuck did you feel the need to be stupidly offensive and act like Native American people and traditions are interchangeable with those of a guy from India? Ugh he’s so....gah.

Anyway. So I actually like both Shiro and Neal, though pretty much only when people other than Claremont are writing them, lololol. Which is admittedly...rare. Because of all his pet characters, they’re both at the top of the list of ones nobody else has any interest in touching. Bizarrely, my favorite run involving Shiro was when he was randomly shoe-horned into that Alpha Flight relaunch in the late 90s, that only lasted a couple years? Dunno if you know what I’m talking about, the team with Radius, Flex, Murmur, Heather as Vindicator and Mac was a robot or some weird shit.

I have no real thoughts on either of them with Bobby though, for a fire and ice pairing. Tbh I can’t really see Bobby/Shiro like, at ALL lmfao. For one, Shiro’s always felt written as though he’s a good ten years older than Bobby at least. Like they’re not really compatible dialogue-wise lol. And he’s pretty much never had any patience for Bobby in the comics, which has a lot to do with most of their interactions being written by Claremont himself, and Claremont infamously haaaaaaates Bobby’s character and trashes him any chance he gets, aka the few times editorial makes him actually use Bobby in a script. But I also think even under other writers, like....Shiro honestly is not the type to have any patience for Bobby’s antics or brand of humor, like.....he’s like JP but without the superficial crush JP used in canon to view Bobby’s idiosyncrasies as endearing instead of migraine inducing. I don’t think any readers would buy someone of JP or Shiro’s personality-type crushing on Bobby twice, lololol.

I DO however kinda like the idea of Neal/Bobby? If someone ever actually brought Neal back and gave him a new codename and stuck him on a team with Bobby? They’ve also barely interacted in canon, and the only time I can think of, Neal was super rude and dismissive of Bobby, because like, Claremont was writing it of course, so it made total sense for him to have the dude who’s literally been an X-Man for two issues talk down to the X-Man of several decades like the latter had no clue what he was doing, lol. Oops, still slightly salty there.

But honestly, I doubt anyone who didn’t have hyperfixation fueled grudges on a fictional fave’s behalf would ever even remember that one canon interaction, and tbh Neal’s pretty much a blank slate character wise. His only defining traits from what little he’s been used are that he’s fairly young, in his early to mid-twenties, from a wealthy family, a little full of himself but in a ‘really wants to impress people and prove himself’ kinda way instead of an overly entitled ‘i genuinely believe I am superior to all you buffoons’ kinda way. And he was always endearingly enthusiastic and eager about new stuff he encountered from being with the X-Men.

(He was also randomly obsessed with Psylocke, but I truly think Claremont was like, well I’m just gonna write him like I would Warren Worthington because why not. So yeah, obvsly he’s super obsessed with Betsy. Duh.)

Anyway - I would like someone to do something interesting with Neal, and I think his and Bobby’s chemistry has a lot of potential and they could bounce off each other well.

Also, I like Rahul, but I was randomly fancasting some of the more obscure X-Men awhile back for Reasons (I forget what they were tbh, but I’m sure I had them. I usually do). I came across this Indian actor named Karan Tacker and was like ohhhhhhh he totally looks like he could be Neal Shaara.

I mean, I’ve literally never seen him act, so who knows what his acting is like, but since we’ve established Neal’s character is essentially whatever the person to actually use him next wants it to be, I don’t think that’s a big deal lol.

So this is totally superficially based casting, like I think this guy looks and ‘feels’ the way Neal’s typically been drawn and the kinda vibe he gives off.

Also, incidentally, having absolutely nothing to do with anything, let alone my selection process, by pure coincidence the dude just so happens to have abs for daaaaaaays.

But I mean. Like I said, that is neither here nor there. Obviously.

Of no relevance whatsoever. I didn’t even notice, tbh. Don’t even know who hijacked my body and ghost wrote these last few sentences, quick, call an exorcist.

....oh noes, is this one of the consequences of being an ‘anti’? IS THIS MY COMEUPPANCE? *flees*

#gingerjab

6 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: How are they then? Buster: Besides missing me madly like Rio: Yeah, that's the general consensus here, like Rio: Assuming I'm talking to the girls? 😜 Rio: Everyone's good, enjoying their freedom from education hard, being cute gays, like Rio: How are you lot, babe? Buster: Better not be too hard though, Nance has got a lot of hair to hold back. Your brother not so much, granted Buster: Oh you know, we're manic. High on sugar and poor impulse control Rio: Don't worry, the stylish yet efficient bun is in, she'd not risk her crowning glory, like 😂 Rio: 😏 and that's just you, yeah? Buster: Standard Buster: 'Course. Only bribe you with the sweet stuff Rio: Likewise Rio: You know my weaknesses Rio: I'll facetime later to read 'em a story, I found some cool new ones out here Rio: Why were we shopping for kid's stuff I hear you not ask, well Rio: Don't worry, your sister ain't knocked up Buster: You gonna facetime me later too, yeah? Buster: I got to thinking she'd landed herself another MILF, this time with kids in toe like Rio: Duh, know you can't sleep without a story from me either, I got you baby Rio: Nope Rio: You'll never guess Buster: Are you actually gonna make me Buster: Or just tell me Rio: Alright, Demi and June are going to have a baby! Buster: You're right I'd never have guessed that one Rio: Well, here's the thing Rio: they've asked me to surrogate for them Buster: But you burst their bubble, right? Buster: And then they found someone else Rio: No Rio: We've not gone ahead and started the process or anything but I think its a good idea Rio: it'll make it so its biologically a bit of both of them, as close as Buster: Yeah I get where they're coming from and what they get out of it Rio: You don't think it'd be a nice thing for me to do for them? Why not? I've got the eggs, the incubator Buster: Nice ain't the word, babe Rio: Its my little brother, if I can do something to make him happy, I wanna Rio: and it won't be that much of a hardship on me, like Rio: Sure I can deal with morning sickness and the rest Buster: If you say so Rio: You don't want me to Buster: It ain't up to me Rio: No but I care about your opinion Buster: Yeah? Buster: That's why you already said you'd do it Rio: Not officially, or exactly Rio: I couldn't no it out of the gate Rio: He's so excited, you know what he's like, it would've looked weird if I wasn't Buster: Fuck that Buster: It's weird that you wanna do it Rio: Why is that weird? Buster: 'Cause you ain't Chlo, wanting to just give your kid over when you reckon your part's done Rio: Don't say that Rio: It won't be mine Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're carrying it, you think you're not gonna get attached feeling it kick and everything Buster: Come on Rio: Plenty of women do it Rio: All the time Buster: I don't care about them Buster: I care about you Rio: Then trust me when I say I can Buster: You know I trust you Buster: But can't I be worried, like Buster: Just trying to look at this from the POV you won't Rio: Of course you can but Rio: It isn't fair if they can't have a kid Buster: Grace can't either, you gonna offer for her too? Buster: Don't act like there aren't other options Rio: If she asked, yeah Rio: but she's 18 and single so quite unlikely Buster: You know what I mean Rio: Well what if I want to experience it myself Rio: I'm not going to get a chance now either, unless I take this Buster: That's not a reason to put yourself through this Rio: You can't say that Rio: You don't know, you have kids, and your a man, its totally different Buster: So it's my fault now? Buster: Whatever Buster: You wanted my opinion Buster: I know what it's like to not be able to raise your kid yourself, remember? I don't want that for you Rio: Didn't say that Rio: I'm saying you can't know how I feel on it Rio: It isn't like I'll never see it Rio: still be family Buster: Don't you reckon that'll be harder? Buster: Look what happened to your sister, having Drew around but not Rio: Why would it be anything like that Rio: I'm not like him, I'm not going to pretend she doesn't exist Rio: she'll have me as her Auntie and she'll know I'm her bio Ma but she'll have two parents that love her Buster: So did Edie Buster: Really felt it though, didn't she? Rio: Shut up Rio: You're being stupid now Rio: Its not close to the same situation Rio: Edie knew she was a mistake, one her Da especially did not want Rio: this is planned, and so wanted, and the kid will know Buster: Forget I said anything then Buster: You've made your mind up already anyway Rio: I have to do this Rio: can't you support me? Buster: Of course I'll support you Buster: Doesn't mean I can't warn you. I have to, if you have to do this Rio: Okay Rio: I hear you, yeah? Rio: Noted Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Buster: Good Rio: I'm coming Home in Sunday Rio: or Imma have to buy another suitcase for all the presents Buster: And if Kira couldn't see you before she goes back to Erin's you'd have to hide in your suitcase Rio: Exactly Rio: Don't wanna miss her Buster: No way she's letting that happen Buster: And, you know, her curls are so big now like Rio: 😍 Rio: They're both so beautiful, my heart melts Rio: How can I deny the world of my DNA either, yeah? Buster: You've got me there Buster: You would make a beautiful kid Rio: Right? Rio: And Demi is gorg so not gonna fuck with the mix, thank God Rio: like soz, Junie, don't rate your mans Buster: He's not as hot as me, but who is Rio: Obviously Rio: but not the colour they going for, like Buster: Tut tut Rio: Reverse racism at its finest, you reckon? 😂 Buster: I'm only playing Buster: Gotta when you got no adult company Rio: Poor baby Rio: You love it Buster: Can't lie Rio: Mhmm, no fooling me, boy Buster: Too late for all that, I know Rio: How's Messi Rio: take a pic? Buster: [Sends a group selfie] Rio: 😘💖😩💋 Rio: My faves Rio: Wish I was Home Buster: Me too Buster: But we've waited longer for each other, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Just dramatic Rio: We're all going out later so, won't have time to mope then, they won't have that 😏 Buster: Out where? Buster: Like the club or the museum? Very different vibes Rio: The club, we've exhausted the museums Rio: Sure the lads would disagree but Buster: And you've gotta make the most of it Buster: Can't be hitting the dance floor pregnant Rio: Who says? Rio: Gotta keep working and werkin', like Buster: 🤑 Rio: Although I am having to argue that case rn Rio: Obviously, you get compensation but Demi says I should rest and take more but Rio: I don't know Buster: You'll have to decide when it happens Buster: You won't know the struggle until you do Buster: My mum worked until she dropped, literally but Chlo milked it as her standard Buster: Erin was somewhere in the middle Rio: You did drop in early Rio: Height of rudeness, tbh Rio: Couldn't let me be even a few days older Buster: Blame Nance, she came out first Buster: I was chill and chilling Rio: Likely story 😂 Rio: Hope I don't give them a bogof baby too Rio: not planning for that Buster: You'll be begging for rest then Buster: My mum was sick as hell with us Rio: Again, your awkwardness does not shock me, babe Rio: It is more likely with IVF but fingers crossed Rio: not needing the extra dollar that bad Buster: At least you could take inspo from Disney and keep one each Buster: What could go wrong? 😂 Rio: Perfect plan Rio: You already think I'm gonna become the child snatcher so why not be that cruel about it Buster: Exactly Buster: And the cuteness will be too hard to resist we already know Rio: Oh yeah, THAT'S why you've got 2 already 🙄 Rio: I've got some self-control, unlike yous 😘 Buster: 'Course Buster: 😇 you are Buster: Sainting yourself with this move too so Rio: Hard job but someone's gotta Buster: Who says? Rio: Don't lets start on that again Buster: I'm just saying Buster: Catch me here sinning Rio: Sure, Dad 😏 Rio: Face it, you're such a good boy now Rio: lost it, like Buster: You wish, babe Rio: Nah Rio: Devvo about it, I am Buster: Liar Buster: It'll go perfect with your mother mary vibes when all this goes ahead Rio: Fuck off Buster: I'd say make me but you're too much of a goodie two shoes now Rio: You're so annoying Rio: being a Da made you perfect, did it? Rio: I think not Buster: You know it Buster: Always been close anyway though Rio: 😂 Rio: Please Rio: Anyway, I'm not going to be a Mum, fullstop Buster: Says you Buster: The kid might have a different take Rio: Lord, it ain't even cooking yet Rio: Never mind your imagined teen angst Rio: plenty of donor babies in the world, not losing their shit Rio: they'll be better parents than I'd ever Buster: Whatever Buster: Come on, there's a limit to the bullshit and we both know you're such a great ma Buster: Indie can vouch Rio: That's different Rio: it isn't real, for one Buster: Jay then Rio: You know I love her Buster: Yeah and you're more of a mum than her actual one is Buster: So don't use that as an excuse Rio: I'm not Rio: I'm just saying Rio: The kid's gonna have a good life, yeah Rio: It won't be wanting for anything, least of all me, I'm sure Buster: Fine Rio: Don't be angry Buster: I don't wanna fight with you Buster: Go have fun or whatever Rio: Well, I ain't going to now Rio: but we'll talk when I get back, then? Buster: If that's what you want, yeah Rio: We're getting nowhere now so Rio: Got no other option, have I Buster: You always have options, Rio Buster: But pick your battles too, like Rio: Didn't realise it would be one Buster: What does that tell you? How much have you even thought about this? Rio: If I had made this much drama when you were having Kira, Jay even, we wouldn't be here rn Buster: That's different Buster: It wasn't my decision, for one thing Rio: So? I still supported you Rio: It was still happening Buster: I've said I'll support you Buster: Doesn't mean I have to agree with everything Rio: How are you going to support me if you don't agree with it on some level Rio: Its not going to work Buster: I'll be here anyway, that's how Buster: For you Rio: Alright Buster: Not like I'm the first person to have to get on board with something I'm not 100% sure will work Buster: Our families did it for us and that worked out Rio: True Rio: Just thought it'd be different Rio: but its alright Buster: What do you want from me? Buster: Tell me Rio: No, it was stupid Rio: you're fine Buster: Rio Buster: Come on Rio: It's me Rio: I'm good Buster: Babe, talk to me Buster: I'm sorry I made you upset Buster: But you can tell me anything Rio: It isn't your fault Rio: I just wish it was exciting news Rio: it is for them Rio: but you're not excited for me, and why would you be, or anyone else Rio: because it isn't my news Buster: I'm sorry Buster: That's all I was trying to get across, you don't have to do this just 'cause they want you to Buster: If you wanna have a baby this isn't the way, you know Rio: I know, they aren't forcuing me Rio: but, I don't wanna take that away from them, anyone Buster: I know and you know I love how much you care and how you'll do anything for the people you love, yeah? Buster: I'm just saying don't hurt yourself over it Buster: I just want you to be careful. Think carefully that's all Rio: Yeah Rio: I will Rio: I am Buster: I'm not trying to say it's the same, fucking obviously, but when my mum and dad didn't bring my brother home from the hospital, I remember it Buster: How excited me and Nance were and then Rio: I know Rio: That's awful Rio: but you were kids, there was a lot of confusion and not getting it Rio: I know what I'm signing up for here, like Rio: I know it won't be fun for a while afterward, the hormones and that Buster: Just remember you'll be leaving empty handed too Buster: I trust you Buster: I won't keep beating you over the head with my drama Rio: I can't not do it Rio: How would I say no, like? Buster: Just let the word come out Buster: Practice on me if you want Rio: Funny Rio: They'd be heartbroken Buster: Call me selfish but I'd rather them than you Rio: I can handle it Rio: It's about time something good happens for June, Billie has Stevie and she's settled Buster: Then do it Buster: I can't and won't stop you Rio: My Ma'll be buzzin' Rio: another grandbaby, at last, slacking so hard, like Buster: No arguments there Rio: think she was 6 down by now Rio: preggo with the twins Buster: Christ Buster: Two's hard enough, cheers Buster: Didn't have to birth them myself either Rio: Yeah, she's hardcore Buster: I clearly take after mine Buster: Happy with two Buster: Any more would be such a headfuck Buster: They got their head round it though I guess Rio: Nah, you're just saying that 'cos you ain't had chance to impregnate anyone recently Buster: You're away until Sunday Buster: Plenty of time Buster: Three could be my magic number too Rio: Fuck off Rio: You prick 😂 Buster: I proper miss you Rio: Sounds like it Buster: If you need to hear it, call me later Rio: Just lemme know when you've got your newest baby mama out the door and I will Buster: But I might need you before she leaves, 'cause you know I don't want anyone as much as you Buster: Hate to fail to make baby 3 Rio: Can't find the staff these days, can ya? Buster: 😂 Buster: Got my heart set on sticking to the numbers and my parents status quo though now Rio: I believe in you, babe Rio: power through Rio: if you can with Chlo, you can with anyone Buster: True Buster: Better hit the club myself for a candidate Rio: Ha, you gonna bring along 1&2 like? Buster: They'd love it Buster: Haven't stopped dancing all day Rio: Reckon you'll fuck with their street cred tho Buster: maybe Rio: who goes to the club with their lame old dad Buster: You would Buster: Daddy's girl Rio: Can't tell if you mean my actual Da or you Rio: too awkward to ask Buster: That's how you know you need to sort yourself out, babe Rio: shut up Rio: you love it Buster: I do love you Rio: I know Buster: Good

0 notes

harlothane · 7 years ago

Note

what can i do to get asoiaf followers? im stuck in aestheticland

aestheticland is a nice place to be. i love aesthetic asoiaf graphics - i can forget for one minute the show has ever existed (no offense to the actors & crew, i admire their work but we have to be frank here) i have been active in this fandom since got season 2 started airing (i was a lover of the books but not a very dedicated fan. the show made me a ASOIAF fantatic, i wonder why) so here’s my two cents although I don’t have that many ASOIAF followers mind you… I lost some of them when I changed blogs (i was princekraken for years) :

- liveblog GOT even if all you do is bitch about it. we all do, it’s time to be honest, people. of course, if you feel like it could bother show only fans (bless their souls) tag “got critical” or something so their dash remains positive (and fairly empty i guess, let’s be real…). ASOIAF fans argue about GOT but we would have already died waiting for the Winds of Winter without it. And how do we bond over our shared frustration! so, yeah. liveblog. That’s how I “met” some of my fondest ASOIAF friends back in the day.(season 5 was a time for creating friendships) - remain open-minded. ASOIAF’s greatest strength, without a doubt, is the complexity of its characters. Sadly, this diversity can lead to endless battles about which characters are the Worst, the Best, the most Underrated, the Boring one, the most Disgusting, and then some. Virtual blood is shed over this, honestly. My advice to you is to stay far from this kind of discussion. Love and idolize your fave, who cares that Littlefinger is the true Hero of the Story according to you? I will think you’re entirely wrong, but hey, you do you as long as you don’t think I’m some kind of heretic because I disagree. I get having strong opinions over characters but in the end of the day, if you’re here to have fun, it’s vital that you take several steps back. Yes, even if you stumble upon a hate-filled post about your fave (TRUST ME. I KNOW.) I know some of us love to argue and it’s fine, I don’t police people! But my POV? as someone who used to discuss with every irrational Theon hater flooding our tag? it’s not worth it. you will be tired and bitter and dreaming you’d have just let gooooo. I exist in a world where people really believe a hostage owes loyalty to his captors. They’re wrong. I can explain why it’s wrong to them if they want. And it’s fine. If you learn to take a step back and not to enter every single argument ever you’re likely to attract the majority of us who just want to discuss our favourite fantasy book in peace. (Again, I’m not critical of those who love a good argument, not at all. But I know many people use social media to relax and want to avoid the neverending battles of This Character Had it Worse And Thus Did Nothing Wrong Ever, something even Theon fans can be very prone to by the way) (let him be flawed pleasepleaseplease).

- at first glance, it seems I’m contradicting myself but : don’t be afraid to speak your mind. It doesn’t mean you should argue all the time. yet, never forget it’s YOUR blog. don’t refrain yourself from expressing your opinion/analysis/meta because you think people will react badly. As long as you’re respectful, open-minded and that you tag your posts correctly, every opinion can be shared. It’s what fandoms are for!!!! (i know, shocking…) In my experience, it won’t make you lonely, on the contrary. Like minded people will flock at your doorstep, because the fans (in every fandom) you can have a rational, agreeable discussion with are so rare and precious. - in the same vein: if you have a strong attachment to one house/character/ship, be vocal about it! especially if it’s an unpopular one. sure, you won’t get 3 000 followers by nightfall BUT you will gain loyal support as people in small sub fandoms tend to be tightknit and united. (see: theon/house greyjoy fandom if you forget about the occasional ship wars) (which have no reason to exist since all ships are doomed anyway) (theyne excepted maybe? perhaps?)- it’s just me here but………having followers isn’t the goal. express yourself about the books (could be meta but also graphics, edits…) and eventually you will get followers that are interested in what you have to offer. it can be long because ASOIAF has a rather small fandom, in spite of the appearences. many people know of Game of Thrones but the Book Fandom remains quite intimidating for many people and you know what? i get that they’re afraid to express themselves because the debates here can get heated very very fast. but from my experience, most of us are just passionate as hell. It can translates in excessive reactions sometimes, when we didn’t mean to be agressive at all.

- Oh, and learn to tag your creations correctly so they can be reblogged.Live and let Live my sweet summer child and don’t die of boredom waiting for TWOW!

#answer #i'm not that helpful because i don't have many asoiaf followers sorry!#but i'm here if you want #Anonymous

2 notes · View notes

zayadriancas · 8 years ago

Text

Dnc season 3 thoughts warning spoilers ahead also very long and messy

I want to write my thoughts I have so many That was the most amazing season since season 12 in my opinion I don't know where to begin This is probs gonna be out of order because I watched all 10 episodes straight through no break only paused to type a post a few quick things on here •Maya's plot was by far my favorite I could relate to it so much, the suicide attempt was exactly how I attempted to, I didn't OD as badly as Maya but I took a lot that made me feel sick for days. The scenes with her mom especially where she threw the mirror made me cry. I've had so many similar outbursts like that. And feeling like no one was there for her. I understand why people shut her out, Grace was disturbed by the photos and Zig is basically Esmes property (not talking about the kiss but feels like he's not even allowed to talk to Maya because of Esme smh) I'll get to that later but like I've felt like that too like no ones here for me kike I only have one friend and I know he can't always be here for me but I feel like I'm not important to him and he knows I'm suicidal and depressed and I'll tie in what Lola said that I can relate to SO much, "It's like we have pain but we can't talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable" and I think that's how I make people feel and it sucks. Not that Maya really talked about her pain but she felt like no one cared. She even said "I feel like Tristan's there(hospital) because I exist" after bringing up Cam's suicide and Adams death (so glad they added him in there too because I found it weird that Maya was in a band with him and she wasn't at the funeral/bonfire or even mentioned it before) but anyway like idk where I'm going with this Maya's whole plot this season was so relatable and gave me so much tears The fact that she broke her wrists too omg 😭😭😭 but the most disturbing was the roof scene like the writers said it would be, omfg I'm so glad Esme and Zig found her and saved her I'm glad Katie made an appearance I wasn't ever the hugest fan of her but I'm glad she was there for Maya I already said this earlier but I cried when she performed the song she wrote for Zig And omg the way he tickled her was so cute THEY CONTINUE TO MURDER MY SOUL AMD I CANT BELIEVE MAYA KISSED HIM AND he finally learned his lesson to pull away when he has a girlfriend but he couldn't do that when he was with Maya UGHH I already said this but I hate Zig/Esme as a couple. I would even take Zace over this. She's so rude to everyone and I feel bad for her for what happened to her mom it's so fucking sad and I'm glad they finally told us her backstory. But the way she treated Maya, shay(especially shay but I'll get to that later) Miles, and just how she acts towards people in general. Every time Zesme kisses I cringe. I hate how she bumped Maya on purpose. Like Maya probably wasn't even aware Zesme was an official couple she knew back last season they were hanging out but it's not Maya's fault and I'm just so upset for Maya this whole season. I felt all of her pain She looked so gorgeous though I love her hair and her wardrobe this season •I love that they did a period plot. It's so realistic and relatable. I got my period at school before and bled over the back of my pants and didn't notice till way later and no one told me. Just laughed. Esme was such a bitch about it god when will that girl just shut up. Tiny was so sweet to buy Shay tampons but he shouldn't have given them to her in class lol. But I loved Frankie and Shay being there for each other this season and all their conversations. •Hunters plot I thought was gonna be lame but it actually was so funny. "Let's just agree for now that boners are funny" lmao and "we were gonna watch porn" and them all sitting there awkwardly lol •I normally don't like Zoe but I LOVED her this season and I'm so proud of her for being so confident and being open about her sexuality without caring what anyone thinks. Her and Rasha are great together I love them and I also love the Gracevas renewed friendship. ITS SO FUCKING SAD ZOES MOM KICKED HER OUT I HATE THAT BITCH. I'm so glad Grace is letting Zoe stay with her. •Like I said I loved Lola's line about her having pain but not being able to talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable like I said I can relate so much. I hate myself but I didn't hate Lola/Miles I just wish it hadn't been while he was with Tristan. But I did like their friendship a lot. I also love that Yael and Lola became friends. And I'm so glad they went in depth with the abortion plot it's so important and I'm glad everyone supported her. •Graces plot was so sad but IM GLAD SHE GOT A PLOT ABOUT HER ILLNESS and although it showed her friendship with Jonah it was all from her POV and although I suspect feelings (and I actually do ship them quite a bit tbh the scene on the golf course was so cute) it wasn't all about that it was about Grace choosing to take a chance no matter how risky and trying to live life to its fullest and I am so glad she's become the Grace we know and love this season. It made me sad when she blocked Maya's number but I understand why she did it. •Tristan at the end well throughout the whole episodes typing in his computer was so heartbreaking but I'm so glad he is awake and I'm so glad we got to see his mom finally. TBH the play the acting was so forced and had no emotion it made me cringe but I'm glad Miles told Tristan the truth. And Tristan typing into his computer "can we get pizza it's been 6 months since I've had pizza" omg •everyone there for Maya at the hospital in the end was great too even Zoe and Miles im so glad she has support. When zig said "I told her to leave me alone today" reminded me of when he said "I told cam to go away and he did" but I'm so glad everyone knows it's not their fault. I'm so so relieved and glad Maya's gonna make it and that she's gonna be okay. (Physically I mean) I know mentally it's gonna take time but I know she'll make it through this. •I don't care about Fronah but I feel bad for Frankie. What she did was wrong reading his messages but I can tell throughout the whole episodes especially when she told him in the car she wanted a break she was trying to be mature about it, I think aside from the message reading she handled herself fine throughout everything and as always I loved her friendship moments with Lola and Shay. •Miles's speech at the beginning about wanting to take someone's pain away from them and give it to himself made me cry so hard. As always, Esme pissed me off with how she treated him. Like I understand she was upset by the pictures but she should know better than anyone what it's like to go through seeing someone she loves going through pain and Miles was trying to cope in the only way he knew how. I get the pictures were triggering for the class and i get why it was asked to be turned off but to make him feel bad about it idk where im going with this im tired but anyway the whole thing just made me tear up •The whole zig/Esme sex thing and shit and every time they kissed made me wanna barf. Zig looked so hot though throughout this whole season. IM SO GLAD WE FINALLY KNOW WHERE ZIG LIVES AND OMG SAYING HE DOESNT HAVE A Family made me so sad. And like I already mentioned Esmes past shocked me and I feel so terrible for her. •Maya giving grace her ring I wanted to cry. Also when Grace said Maya was a crappy friend made me feel so upset like I get Maya kept bailing on plans but it was clear Maya was going through something. But it was clear Maya felt bad when she found out what grace was going through. Maya looking at the pics in her room made me so sad. I can't wait until she is happy like that again. She deserves so much happiness and love. •also I hope Jonah gets a plot about being in narcotics anonymous next season I'm glad they gave us something about him like we knew he had drug debts before but I thought they'd never bring it up again I'm glad they did even if it was briefly • shiny was adorable even though they kept fighting but they were able to make up which im happy for aside cuz from Zasha and the possibility of Grace/Jonah happening they are the only canon ship I care about. Well not the only one but the only one I believe will make it at this point I honestly thought Zesme would be done by ep 10 but they're still going strong and next season which is the seniors final season Maya will be recovering and Zig seemed to be over her this season and I just feel so sad I wanna have hope for Zaya but I feel like it's pointless. Of course what's most important is Maya is happy and healthy again and if she graduates happy that's all that matters to me. But Zesme being endgame terrifies me. I mean I love that zig and Maya interacted but zig mostly just seemed so wrapped up in Esme now and he had every right to move on but it still breaks my heart 😭😭😭💔💔💔 Anyway though aside from Zesme this season was amazing, totally amazing and had great plots in every episode and I was so hooked and it was definitely the best Next Class season so far. I can't believe all my faves will be leaving next season😭😭. This season was deff in my top 5 1: Season 4 2: Season 7 3: Season 12 4: DNC season 3 5: Season 11 So yeah I can't wait to see gifs of this season lol I wanna gif but I'm too tired. I wanna screencap but I'm so tired. After I sleep maybe. I'm emotionally drained from that amazing season

#dnc spoilers #maya matlin #zig novak #miles hollingsworth #lola pacini #shay powers #anti esme song #anti zig/esme #frankie hollingsworth #hunter hollingsworth #zoe rivas #rasha zuabi #zasha #katie matlin #grace cardinal #jonah haak #gronah #suicide tw

5 notes · View notes