#anyway as far as the show goes i have no clue what its status is rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ocegion · 4 years ago

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Nile is sitting on one of the couches of the safehouse, legs crossed and eyes on her screen as she lazily navigates youtube, when she hears an app notification loudly popping up a few feet away from her. She blinks a few times and looks up at its source.

Joe and Nicky are on the couch across from her, half-lying on each other as each of them reads their own book. Now, however, Nicky is grasping at his phone, slight grimace on his face as he looks at it, then exchanges a look with Joe, who sports a similar expression. A moment later they nod at each other and Nicky sweeps his thumb across the screen.

Their heads come together as they both focus on the screen, a certain degree of curious apprehension on their faces. They stay like that for a moment, then Nicky’s grimace comes back stronger than before as he tosses the phone to the edge of the couch. Joe just huffs, eyes narrowed, and his hand flies to Nicky’s head, gently massaging his scalp as he pulls the man closer.

It’s a few moments before either of them take notice of Nile’s fixed gaze. Joe looks curious, relaxing his hold on his partner a bit as he shifts his attention.

‘Is something the matter, Nile? You need anything?’

Nile now realizes she’s been staring, and quickly breaks her eyes away for a single moment before coming back, now with a teasing, somewhat incredulous grin on her lips.

‘I had gay friends back in Chicago, you know’ she comments easily. Nicky frowns in confusion.

‘You have gay friends now. We’re right here.’

‘I know, I know, not saying otherwise. Just… Some things are familiar.’ Neither of them seem to have a clue what she’s getting at, if their deepening frown is anything to go by. Nile’s amusement grows exponentially. ‘All I’m saying is, I know what a grindr notification sounds like.’

In the five months she’s been part of the team, Nile has barely ever seen Nicky show the slightest indication of nerves, let alone flustered. He’s about as impassible as a marble statue, but without the hard coldness to it. Now, however, she’s seeing with her own two eyes how a deep red quickly takes hold of his cheeks in the few seconds it takes for him to fully register what she’s said and hastily look down. He unconsciously leans towards Joe, who isn’t flustered, per se, but for once in his life seems to be not immediately sure what to say, mouth opening to start saying something, only to repeatedly decide to change his wording, then just shutting up with his lips turned a thin line.

‘What the hell is a green deer?’ Andy asks from the other corner of the room, where she’s taken off her headphones to pay attention to the current commotion. Nile brings her hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh when Nicky groans in response.

‘Nothing important’ Joe grumbles lowly. Andy’s eyebrow rises, an equally amused and bemused expression hinting on her face, but she merely shrugs and puts her headphones back on. Nile can hear the music from here, and she’s going to have to remind her again that no healing means she can, in fact, go deaf if she keeps doing that.

For the time being, though…

‘Grindr’ she repeats, a delighted tone to her voice. The word seems to be some sort of spell that makes the both of them shrink on themselves, and she supposes it’s a bit mean, but they have behaved like the dignified, nearly-mystic millenium-old warriors they are every moment Nile has shared with them. She’s not going to let the chance to see them embarrassed pass so quickly.

‘There’s no shame in it, you know’ she says, and she means it. But she’ll admit that she says it knowing it’ll make Joe groan softly as he hides his face in his hands, and Nicky petulantly crosses his arms while pointedly looking away. ‘I mean it! I’m not going to judge you for your… Pastimes.’

‘This isn’t- This is not-’ Nicky stutters, brighter red if it’s even possible, and Nile is going to commit that look to memory because who knows when it’s going to come back. He wildly gestures with his hands, as if trying to grasp the words.

‘We were just curious, is all’ Joe supplies in a low but hasty mumble, nearly pouting and looking anywhere but at her. She raises her eyebrow.

‘I’d say you two are a bit late to be curious about this sort of thing. I doubt there’s anything you’ve got left to learn about this stuff. Well, being vanilla is okay in any case, even if it’s for a thousand years. Whatever suits you.’

Nicky stares at her, and opens his mouth to say something only to stop himself at the last second. He takes a long moment and in the end he settles, calmly, for ‘We were at a bar the other day, and we heard that grindr is the new space for gay men. We just wanted to check it out, keep up with the times.’

‘It wasn’t exactly what we expected it to be’ Joe adds, dryly. Nile takes a moment to stop herself from bursting into laughter. God, right now she really wishes social media wasn’t off limits to her, this is comedy gold.

She rises to her feet and throws herself at the other couch in between them. Joe and Nicky automatically make space for her, but they stretch their arms behind the couch to hold hands. They look at her curiously and she grins while she makes a beckoning gesture to Nicky.

‘Let me see.’

‘Nile!’ he nearly shrieks, half-scandalized. Nile is reminded that despite looking like he’s on the flower of life, at the point where maturity hasn’t started chipping away at youthful vigor, he is, after all, a grandpa older than most countries he steps into. Unfazed by this, she gives him a look that has him begrudgingly handling her his phone while muttering something under his breath.

Despite their complains, they seem very interested in whatever she’s going to do, both of their heads touching hers as they look at the device in her hands. She can’t help but be endeared by Nicky’s phone: His wallpaper is a pic of Joe sleeping (she’s willing to bet her next 30 lives that the opposite is true for Joe’s phone), and beside a sudoku app, the phone is pretty much barren. Except for grindr.

‘You should expect some, uh, unsavory things in there’ Joe mutters, somewhat apprehensive. Nile gives him an unimpressed look.

‘I’m not a child, Joe, no matter how many times you all say it. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen more than you had at my age.’

However, she goes directly to their profile. It’s the only thing that holds her curiosity, really, everything else has a very low chance of being anything she hasn’t already seen in her other friends’ phones. It is adorably innocent, considering what they knew about the app. It’s got a selfie of the two of them with Joe kissing Nicky’s cheek, another selfie of Joe at the beach with that backwards cap of his and sunglasses, and then a third one of Nicky reading, which she’s pretty sure Joe took while he wasn’t aware of it.

The profile is pretty much empty otherwise. The description is a mere ‘curious couple’, which, again, is adorably innocent considering she knows who they are. Not so much to anyone else, though.

Just in that moment, just as she’s about to check the chats just to drag the experience out, the phone rings with a new message. She opens it and-

‘Wow’ she says as she drops the phone, and you know what, she had forgotten the part about just how forward some guys could be. Had repressed it, most likely.

‘I know’ Nicky wails, picking up the phone and putting it at a safe distance. ‘We’ve gotten so many of those. And people who call Joe ‘daddy’. And asking about our, huh, positions. We keep expecting something a bit more… Mild. Just friendly. But no luck.’

‘We tried to start a few conversations, with some of the more, umm, dressed guys’ Joe continues, voice conveying a deep desolation within his soul. ‘It never goes over five minutes before they ask us if we want… Well. I’m not going to repeat it.’

Nile is, once more, struggling to keep the laughter inside herself. The sulky look they both give her has the laugh finally escaping her. ‘You are two attractive, young-looking men’ she says once she’s got her air back. ‘Of course guys are going to be interested. I think at this point you’ve figured out what guys are looking for in here.’

There is a brief silence. ‘Don’t get us wrong, it’s great there’s enough freedom for this… Thing, to exist’ Nicky says, more serene than he’d been a handful minutes ago. ‘It would have been unthinkable a handful decades ago in a country like this. It’s just not what we were expecting.’

‘It used to be about romance’ Joe adds, still somewhat sulky and looking at the phone like it had personally insulted him. ‘There used to be seduction, yearning, poetry. Courtship has changed a lot since we were young, we know, but this just skips it altogether. It’s lacking in taste, is all.’

Nile could repeat what the app was for and that there were other places they might find something more suitable to their tastes, but another, far more important thought crashes into her mind. She smirks.

‘You know I’m going to have to notify Copley about this, right?’

They both look like they’ve seen a ghost. ‘You absolutely don’t’ Nicky mutters, pale.

‘I absolutely do. No social media at all, remember?’

‘We were going to delete it anyway’ Joe begs. ‘We’ll do it right now in front of you.’

Nile pretends to think about it for about five seconds. ‘But what if someone has saved those pics of you?’

The look of dispair on their faces intensifies. ‘They can do that?’

Nile has no option but to roll onto the floor as she laughs harder than she has in a whole year.

#theyre old men yelling at a cloud. bless their hearts #Nile Freeman #Yusuf al Kaysani #Nicolo di Genova #Kaysanova #joenicky #my writing #shitpost #its basically a glorified shitpost tbh

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tatticstudio55 · 4 years ago

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Jon and Dany – both beyond the Wall at the end?

DAY SEVEN (Sunday, August 2nd) Leadership | Free Choice | DoS: Royal Retirement / Passing the Torch

This is less meta-ish and borders more on the speculative side, but I’d like to discuss a Jon and Dany (potential) ending I’ve never seen anyone talk about before: them ending both beyond the Wall, living with the free folks/as free folks. So, basically, the ending Jon got on the show, but with Dany by his side. I would even go as far as to say that the showrunners might have considered it.

This is not by any means “my ideal” Jonerys ending. That would be Jon and Dany settling on Dragonstone with a bunch of targlings and wild dragons. I do not, alas, think this is where the story is going. I do not expect either (or both) of them on the IT either. On the other hand, an ending with them both beyond the Wall seems to me like it could work with the overall story. There is already some book evidence/foreshadowing pointing to Jon’s endgame there, notably in ASOS when he (forgive my French) “finds himself” beyond the Wall:

“On the edge of the haunted forest, where the tents had been, Jon found an oakwood stump and sat.

Ygritte wanted me to be a wildling. Stannis wants me to be the Lord of Winterfell. But what do I want? The sun crept down the sky to dip behind the Wall where it curved through the western hills. Jon watched as that towering expanse of ice took on the reds and pinks of sunset.

[…]

He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade. A hunger . . . he could feel it. It was food he needed, prey, a red deer that stank of fear or a great elk proud and defiant. He needed to kill and fill his belly with fresh meat and hot dark blood. His mouth began to water with the thought.

It was a long moment before he understood what was happening. When he did, he bolted to his feet. "Ghost?" He turned toward the wood, and there he came, padding silently out of the green dusk, the breath coming warm and white from his open jaws. "Ghost!" he shouted, and the direwolf broke into a run.

[…]

He had his answer then.” Jon XII, ASOS

Dany is more of a wild card, but even the show gave us SOME reasons to believe that D&D played with the idea at some point: the pregnancy bait, Dany’s comment in 7x07 about King’s Landing and how “constrictive” the Dragonpit felt, Dany’s “we could stay here a thousand years. No one would find us” line in 8x01. Most importantly, back when I was watching season 7, this is the impression I was getting (from the showrunners):

Dany is a good person at heart, but she would not make a good queen nor would she like being queen.

I do not wholly agree with this, especially if we are talking about bookDany, who would make – and is – a much better queen than she is given credit for, but it looked to me like this is where the show was going with her. Or, at least, this is the message they were trying to communicate. They were not trying to “hide” Dany’s dark turn from the audience by making her or trying to make her bad-good-bad-good-bad-good, they simply had another endgame in mind for the character. I do not want to make this about the show but had to get this out of the way.

Now onto bookDany:

A while ago, I posted a meta where I discussed a pattern in Daenerys’s story: twice she succeeded at something magical, highly dangerous and related to dragons, and twice after she ended up in a desertic environment, thirsting, starving and nearly dying from exposition. Following the rule of 3 (which is especially predominant in her arc), it will probably happen again and – since there is no Great Grass Sea in Westeros – the “desertic environment” swallowing her afterward will be the frozen lands beyond the Wall. It could mean that she will die there, but it could also mean that she will simply disappear there. Her fate could also be revealed to the reader while remaining unknown to most characters. This would fit with Dany’s current representation in the story so far: she is an enigma, a rumor; nobody really knows her whereabouts, who she is, what she is, what she wants, what she has, if she is even real.

There are numerous parallels to be drawn between Daenerys and Mance Rayder, which I covered here. I would love the irony of Dany coming to Westeros thinking she is reclaiming her family’s lands, only to settle in the only part that was never conquered by the Targaryen. There is the (disputable, ok, but) fact that the only region in all of the continent where dragons could turn up useful for tree planting would be beyond the Wall (so frozen soil can be thawed and warmed up for plants to grow there again). Martin hung a pretty riffle on the metaphorical Wall when Silverwing refused to fly across in Fire and Blood. There is this pattern of wildling women making up Jon’s romantic prospects; first a wildling “commoner” (Ygritte), then a wildling “princess” (Val), then a wildling “queen” (Dany, eventually, if this theory proves to be correct). So of course, you will ask –

If this is Martin’s intended ending, why couldn’t the d’s just go with it?

Well, because the d’s never gave Dany any incentive to go beyond the Wall, apart from a brief rescue mission back in season 7. If Dany must end up there, something has got to bring her there and the show scrapped or discarded all of it : no Lands of Always Winter, no curtain of light, no this, no that, no nothing. And once she gets there in the books, because I am quite sure she will, she will not come back. The North is Dany’s ultimate destination. No yoyoing back and forth North and South like what the show did. That was just dumb. Travel time and distances should mean something, even if you have dragons (plus, Dany’s armies would have to travel on foot, horseback or by boat, like everybody else). The closest of yoyoing we have ever gotten in asoiaf was probably with Catelyn, it spanned three books, and she never made it back North anyway.

Did the d’s consider going with that ending? They might just. The clues were certainly there (see above…) but at some point, they must have realized that it would not work with the hole they had dug themselves in.

Now about the elephant in the room

I know some people will think that Dany ending beyond the Wall does not make much sense for her story, which technically (so far) does not have much to do with the lands beyond the Wall. In a way, I agree. Some people would also find such an ending anticlimactic to her arc and a waste after everything she has learned about leadership and politics in Meereen. I also agree. On a watsonian level, an ending with, say, Dany as a queen in Westeros – I think it works. Of course, I do. Where it does not work is on a doyalist level. Dany already had her arc of becoming queen. She achieved that by the end of book 3. Then she had to learn all the nit and gritty and dirty work of ruling over the rubble of a corrupt system while trying to make the lives better for everyone. If Dany becomes queen in Westeros, the same thing will happen again. Different setting, different people, same story. Some people have criticized the underlying message of Dany’s fight against slavery as “only a preparation” for what comes next in Westeros, saying it would undermine the real value of Dany’s work in Essos. I agree. However, the same problem applies if Dany becomes queen in Westeros: then her time in Essos is reduced to a prop up, a preparation, as if ruling Essos were somewhat less important than ruling Westeros. Furthermore, I cannot imagine an ending where Dany, still in possession of significant military forces – significant enough to secure her a crown, anyway – could choose to settle in Westeros without being plagued with guilt over leaving Essos’s slaves behind. I am sorry, I just cannot.

This is also, I think, where part of the “Dany is not a peace time queen” mentality comes from. Dany will never be a peace time queen, not because she prefers war, or because she does not want peace, but because what she is trying to achieve, in these times and places, means a lifetime of war. You cannot undo and rebuild an entire system that is rotten at its core in a single lifetime (heck, even show!Tyrion said this to her, for what the show is worth now…), much less in a few years. Dany is not a peace time queen because she is not a queen that is interested in maintaining the statue quo. At least that is how her time in Meereen revealed her. Arya would not be a peace time queen either. Jon would not be a peace time king. They could never be, less they abandoned their ideals and their ethics for a more comfortable life.

Then you might say that an ending where Dany goes back to Essos works too. It does – once again, on a watsonian level. What is the problem with this on a doyalist level? It turns Dany into a deus ex machina, coming to Westeros just in time to save it, then leaving it right after, as if neither the Others, nor her had ever been there.

The two remaining options are: either she dies a queen in Westeros, most likely during the Great War, or… the queen, Daenerys Targaryen, dies, while Dany lives.

That means that all reasonable possibilities, or choices, to keep on fighting as a queen are taken from her. Maybe her forces were severely depleted during the Great War. Maybe her dragons died. Maybe both. Maybe her function, not as an individual, but as a character in a specific story called A song of ice and fire, was to destroy an old system (AND to inspire others to follow in her footsteps, ensure that her efforts were not in vain, that the first steps will not go wasted, that the work she started will be taken up by other peoples, and others after them, and others after), not to rebuild the new one. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. Frodo Baggins’ role in The Lord of the Rings was to destroy something evil. His gardener Sam was the one who planted the trees and went on to become a mayor afterward. One was a destroyer and the other was a builder, but in the end, they were both heroes.

Not to mention that Frodo did not die at the end. You could say that he went on to live beyond the Wall too.

#ADOS speculation #jonerysweek2020 #jonerysweek #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #asoiaf #jonerys #bookjonerys

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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I'm not sure if you got my request because i didn't had internet when i sent it, so i'll write it again xd Do you think Dick (and the batboys in general) are famouse like Bruce? Because in the comics there's not any clue about it, i've never seen anyone say something like "oh look! Its Dick Grayson!, y'know, Wayne's first ward/son And its a shame, because reporters would make such a hard life to all of them, it would maka a good narrative tool

Honestly, this is a prime example of that inconsistency I rant about, and also DC’s refusal to just COMMIT on even the most basic aspects of their universe like….uh…how many kids does Batman have.

afhsahfklahsklfhal

Like, you would think that would meet the MINIMUM requirements of “shit you should probably have figured out and make sure everybody’s on the same page with” but DC’s like….nah, that’s not important.

So I mean…..I’m reasonably certain - like this is just my personal belief, but I’d put money on it being right, lol - but I think the primary reason there’s so little mention in the comics of how Bruce’s kids are viewed in the public eye/how much the public are aware of them (in the New 52, at least, as pre-Flashpoint there was a lot more plot around that kind of thing, especially back in the 80s and 90s)……

…is because 90% of the writers and editors have no clue either, and nobody wants to be the one to ask, and like, open that can of worms. I 100% think you could ask five different writers at DC which kids Bruce has OFFICIALLY adopted in this current continuity, and get five different answers, lol.

There’s been so much handwaving about Dick’s status ever since Spyral, and again - I think its because nobody bothered to think through the logistics of the Hypnos/global-mindwipe machine BEFORE writing it into the story, and then once it did occur to any of them to like….wonder just how specifically it worked, they were like, fuck it, better just be as vague as possible. So, according to Grayson, everyone Helena didn’t program into the exclusion list before the satellite was activated should have no recollection of Dick Grayson, which is why he was able to ‘go back to his old life’ and be Nightwing again, without worrying about his secret identity having been unmasked…..

But what does that mean for his official identity as adopted son or even just ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne? People can’t have NO memory of Dick Grayson and still remember that Bruce Wayne took in a kid named Dick Grayson. I mean, as far as I can tell, the overall consensus in the comics seems to be that after the satellite was activated, Dick just kinda started from scratch as ‘Dick Grayson’ like, he was free to be himself again, but it was like he was a blank slate/came out of nowhere as far as everyone else was concerned. But again, that means as far as anyone outside of their close circle of family and friends know….Dick Grayson is a non-entity to Bruce Wayne and the two have no history.

Which I mean, is fairly shitty and you’d think if nothing else, there’d be massive story potential there for delving into Dick’s character and his relationship with Bruce and examining how he felt about ‘having his old life/identity back’….except with the caveat that as far as the world is concerned, his life and identity don’t and have never included his father.

Cut to DC: Naaaaaaaah.

But even WITH that, plot holes persist, and abound, because…..why didn’t the satellite erase the Court of Owls’ knowledge/memory of Dick? Even before Luthor gave Cobb those goggles and files to help him with bringing Ric into the fold, Cobb clearly was already stalking Ric and knew exactly who he was….the Court obviously already had that doctor in place while he was still in recovery…so, whoops. I mean, you could probably come up with an explanation about the Court, via their own tech and resources, having had some protections in place 24/7 that kept the satellite from affecting them even though they weren’t on guard for it specifically…..but again, Occam’s Razor….I feel like the real answer is DC just didn’t care enough to think things that far through. Especially since the average Bludhaven citizen, like Bea, at least didn’t seem totally blown away when Ric revealed to her that amnesia aside, he was supposedly some rich billionaire’s adopted kid….which again suggests that as far as the writers were thinking, people in general are familiar with the idea that Bruce Wayne has more than one kid.

Then you’ve got Jason’s whole situation, and to be honest….I really only have the vaguest idea what’s going on there, because reading Lobdell books is against my religion, and I am a devout and deeply spiritual person, as you all probably can tell. I mean, I know that there’s something going on where like, Jason had himself legally resurrected in the public eye and is openly referring to himself as Bruce Wayne’s formerly-assumed dead foster kid……but like, is that the official official word, or would other writers if you asked them say they’d been operating under the assumption Bruce had adopted Jason too at some point in the Rebirth timeline, or….idek, man.

I…..honestly don’t have the faintest fucking clue what to make of the many back-and-forth retcons about Tim and his parents and his official place in the Batfam/relationship with Bruce, and am actually slightly terrified of even trying to make sense of that clusterfuck of a Gordian knot, so my official stance on Tim is to just like….back sloooooowly away from the anthropomorphic-migraine-masquerading-as-a-backstory, without like….agitating it and accidentally setting off another multiverse Crisis birthed wholly from just that one all-consuming black hole of a retcon.

I mean, there’s a reason I basically just shoehorn all the kids’ official pre-Flashpoint family statuses into anything I write in Rebirth continuity, and that’s not just stubbornness and my refusal to play the “now this kid is adopted…now he’s not…now he is again….except he’s not….oh he’s adopted again…..oh wait now he’s not again" game.

Its like. Also for the sake of my sanity and stuff.

(And also hahahahaha fuck you DC times infinity, every time you use the words “blood son,” or “real family” in a comic, or have one of Bruce’s other kids refer to Bruce as “your father” when talking to Damian, as if that’s not an utterly bizarre and roundabout way for any sibling to refer to their mutual parent and thus I j’ete REFUSE to acknowledge it as valid….ahem, anyway, my point is, every time they do that in a comic, I double down and headcanon Bruce throwing a random as fuck gala for literally no other purpose than to remind all of Gotham that he has half a dozen kids and they’re all better than everyone else’s. Ugh. Kill it. Kill the “blood son” nonsense with fire and lightning and also lots of stabbing maybe).

Anyway, that’s my official stance on DC’s stance on Damian in the books.

Then as far as Cass goes….ugh, her origins were pretty much utterly butchered by the New 52, which IMO has also failed to give us Cass and Bruce bonding and dynamics sufficient to Sate Mine Ire™, sooooooo…..I mean, my perception of the current canon is that Cassandra’s official status is “secret mystery foster child that nobody really knows about,” but because I do not care for that and there’s the whole not sufficiently sated ire thing I mentioned, I officially reject this canon and willfully replace it with pre-Flashpoint Bruce and Cass love and adoption. DC’s welcome to kiss my critically acclaimed hiney if I’m doing it wrong.

Which brings us last, but certainly not least, as its only this way because I go sequentially and Duke is still Shiny and New comparative to the others and will be until the next inevitable fostering/adoption/clone hi-jinks bumps him up the sequential ladder (except I randomly switched Damian and Cass around this time because LOOK I DONT MAKE THE RULES, THERE ARE NO RULES i hvea Adhd hiccup sob leavem e aloooone soooooob)…..

Duke’s official status, much like the rest of the Batkids, can be summed up as Honestly, I Really Don’t Have A Fucking Clue And Am Just Winging This Whole Thing.

I mean, there’s less inconsistency with him, due mostly to the fact that so few writers other than Snyder use him (boo, hiss, and not just because I hate having to give Snyder credit for stuff - look, I love his Duke, but I loathe how he writes Dami, its a thing, I just…don’t get me started). But what inconsistencies there are….well….they’re a bit glaring.

Basically one major storyline showed Duke as being an official foster kid/ward of Bruce’s and living out of the Manor with Bruce and Damian and occasionally Tim when he’s not off road-tripping around the multiverse….and then Batman and the Signal had Duke in the care of his uncle, who was stated to be his legal guardian and Duke was constantly sneaking out in order to meet Bruce in the special Signal-cave he built specifically for Duke to operate out of so he didn’t have to like, drive all the way out to the Manor to change just so he could then drive back into the city and patrol. And then Batman and the Outsiders just said fuck all that, here’s Duke and Cass hopping hemispheres with the Outsiders every other issue, so apparently nobody’s making unscheduled visits anywhere back in Gotham to make sure these two are where they’re legally assumed to be, which again, for the record is…..*error, source not found*

LOLOL and the really fun thing about this little back and forth is I’m pretty sure allllll these conflicting takes are all the work of the same writer. Like. GET ON YOUR OWN PAGE, DUDE.

Also, again I have to assume the “Can’t Be Bothered To Give A Shit, Or Maybe They’re All Just Really Bad At Logic” curse has struck again, because….uhhhh…..

….at no point anywhere in Duke’s stories have I seen Bruce or literally anyone else express concern about the fact that Duke living with Bruce as his official foster, like he definitely and clearly was at some point at least…..means that literally every single one of his We Are Robin friends who knows that he was taken in by the Batfam (and there’s several of them who know this)….like, by the transcendent properties of You Can’t Honestly Think They’re That Dumb, that’s a good five or six civilians out there who probably took all of five seconds to play connect the dots and figure out the Wayne family, having officially taken Duke in on paper…..is pretty likely the Batfamily.

I mean, I like all of Duke’s friends and would definitely headcanon/write them as all being trustworthy and able to keep this knowledge to themselves for Duke’s sake, if nothing else, but I mean, its pretty unprecedented for Bruce to out himself and all of his kids/allies by extension, to like, that many civilian teenagers all in one swoop….

…sooooooo, you’d think, AGAIN, logically, maybe, perhaps, this is the kind of thing that should be brought up in a narrative somewhere as a plot point worth delving into, y’know, just for shits and giggles and maybe a little bit of that whatchamacallit - oh right, character development, but.

Cut to DC: Naaaaaaah.

*throws up hands and does the I Can’t Even Shuffle all the way home*

In conclusion:

DC is a mess. The official/public status of each and every Batkid is a mess. Except for Damian, the blood son, but we have that pencilled in on the schedule to be killed with fire and also stabbing, so he can get filed under ‘just a fucking mess’ with the rest of his siblings. Hashtag Solidarity.

I mean, I say just write or headcanon their official status however you damn well please, and it’ll STILL be more effort than I believe DC has put into organizing and staying consistent with all of this, and thus STILL make more sense than what we currently have to work with.

*Shrugs* If they don’t care enough to provide a clear canon blueprint to follow when mapping the Bat Family Tree, I can’t be bothered to care if the one I make up myself happens to contradict one single mention of one kid’s official status as claimed by one issue of one book.

Especially if it was written by Lobdell.

Jason’s just a foster son my ass. grumble mumble bitter vengeful swears and a pox on all DC’s houses. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ADOPTION SO MUCH, INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW AND ALSO FUCK YOU.

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atamascolily · 5 years ago

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The cover of Junior Jedi Knights #5: Vader's Fortress by Rebecca Moesta features Anakin and Artoo dodging blaster fire while Tahiri does a bad-ass leap and Darth Vader looms in the background. So I guess this next field trip is to wherever the hell Vader's fortress is located... and given that this book was published in 1997, I'm pretty sure it isn't Mustafar.

Readers, I squealed with delight when I realized they were actually going to Bast Castle on Vjun.

[cut for length and discussion of Dark Empire]

Vjun's first appearance was in Dark Empire, but it's the main setting for Sean Stewart's Clone War-era novel Yoda: Dark Rendezvous (2004), which happens to be one of the best Legends books ever. Period. Drop everything and go read it now. Stewart's Vjun is a Dark side Gothic horror wonderland full of crumbling castles, crazed nobility, and flesh-eating moss. I love it, and you will, too.

Vjun also appears in various video games, with no less than Kyle Katarn describing it as "a big, dead, important rock". High praise, indeed.

Oh, and if you're curious, Wookiepeedia says Vjun is "pronounced as "VAH-JUHN" in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy, but in Star Wars Battlefront: Elite Squadron, it is pronounced as "VUHN"".... so anything goes, really.

Anyway, so having dealt with his heritage by going to Dagobah in the last book, the logical next step is for Anakin to actually go and visit Vader's castle in person. You know, exposure therapy. Right?

Okay, let's see what the text says.

Anakin, Tahiri and Uldir are hanging out on the landing pad on Yavin IV waiting for Tionne to show up. Tahiri loves Tionne so much, she doesn't mind waiting around, and she wishes she could have gone with Tionne on this latest trip to Borgo Prime and I just... I love their relationship, okay?

Tionne has a new ship - the Lore Seeker! Anakin uses the Force to determine it's in great shape despite its odd appearance. (It has sails to harness solar wind, lol!)

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” the Jedi instructor said with a smile. “I thought so, too. But because the ship was so old, I was able to buy it from a Randoni trader for a song.”

“How much did you really pay?” Uldir asked.

Tionne shrugged.

“Just a song. Really. While I was looking for Jedi legends, I came across an ancient song that told about the very firstRan - doni merchants and the vaults where they hid their wealth. The trader was so interested that she offered me the Lore Seeker in exchange for the song. Now come help me unload my cargo, and I’ll show you some of my other treasures.”

DID I MENTION I LOVE HER???

Also, Tionne got some other stuff, too:

“You may carry this Twi’lek story-chain, Tahiri-each link tells a different part of a story. Please be very careful with it. Uldir, here is a holodisk. It holds a recording of some very old Jedi songs. Anakin, would you please carry this scroll? I’ll take the tapestry.”’

AHHHHHH, I LOVE THIS.

But Tionne found out something else important "in an old fortress on a planet called Vjun" and this is where I started SCREAMING because I know exactly where this is going and this is such a great set-up - especially since none of the kids have a clue.

Of course, they want to go, and Tionne's trying to be diplomatic about it.

“Does anyone live in the fortress?” Anakin asked.

Tionne shook her head.

“Not anymore.”

“Well, if it’s really that important, don’t you think you ought to go find it?” Tahiri said. “And don’t forget that you promised to take me with you this time.”

“I’d like to go along, too,” Anakin added.

“Yeah, it sounds like fun,” Uldir said.

Tionne frowned.

“I’m not sure Master Skywalker will approve. It could be a bit dangerous."

LOLOLOLOL, since when has that ever stopped anybody in this series?? But according to Tionne, the danger isn't Sith ghosts or anything like that - it's other people trying to snag a certain treasure first.

And what is this special object? the kids want to know.

Tionne’s face lit with a wondering smile, and she gave a happy sigh.

“It’s Obi-Wan Kenobi’s lightsaber!”

ITS A MACGUFFIN! Also, given all of Vader’s issues with Obi-wan, the fact that he kept his old master’s lightsaber in his hidden Gothic Drama Castle is... something. But I digress.

Cut to Luke, being Luke.

Luke Skywalker, dressed in a comfortable black flightsuit, sat on the stone floor in the room where he meditated and did his office work. At the moment, though, Luke was not meditating. Before him in the center of the room stood his barrel-shaped blue and white droid, ArtooDetoo. It was time for Artoo’s routine cleaning. Anakin’s older sister Jaina often helped Luke with this chore, but the Jedi Master didn’t mind doing it himself. He actually found it relaxing. With his tools neatly laid out on the floor and fresh packets of lubricant beside him, Master Skywalker opened ArtooDetoo’s front panels and got to work.

After checking the droid’s numerous electrical connections, Luke added a few gadgets and upgrades Jaina had scrounged up for Artoo: a retractable mirror attachment, a power booster for the comm unit, and a new focusing lens for the hologram projector.

I'm sure NONE of these upgrades will come in handy later on in the book. Nope. Nope. Nope. Move along, nothing to see here, just a boy and his bro-bot.

Ikrit is hanging out on top of Artoo's head during all of this, when there's a knock at the door. Luke asks him to open the door and Ikrit DOES and I don't know why I find this so adorable, but I totally do. More of this, please.

Luke looked up from the packet of slippery lubricant he held in his hand, then smiled when he saw who his visitors were.

“Come in,” he said, “all of you.”

His words seemed to open an invisible dam, because people and noises instantly flooded into his quiet room. Luke laughed as everyone tried to talk to him at once.

“Master Skywalker, I have wonderful news,” Tionne said. “You’ll never guess in a million years,” Tahiri added.

“Can I go with them?” Anakin asked.

“Yeah, me too!” Uldir said.

News of Obi-wan's lightsaber makes Luke have all kinds of Feels (and a handy flashback for those who have forgotten the movies). Luke's like, Oh, yeah, Bast Castle, I've been there before back in Dark Empire when things got weird, and Anakin FREAKS OUT. Tionne's like, huh, maybe that's why my contact said only family had a right to claim the lightsaber then.

Tionne wants Luke to come with her, but Luke is meeting with Leia for pressing NR business, so Anakin volunteers to go as the family rep. I love that Luke looks at Ikrit first, and only says okay when Ikrit nods. Of course Uldir wants to come too, and Luke is about to say no, but Tionne's like "he's just going to stow away, so you might as well and the cargo hold on my ship is too small for him plus our stuff" so Luke caves. DID I MENTION HE'S A SOFTIE?? And with Artoo and Ikrit to help, Luke feels good about it, but again, he insists on the parental permission first.

[Oh, no, I just realized that Luke might not want to go back to Vjun after all the traumatic shit that went down in Dark Empire, and that's ALSO horrifying to contemplate. Like, it's not dangerous anymore, so he's okay with sending Anakin there with supervision, but he might not be eager to re-visit it? MY HEART.]

We skip that scene, though, and jump immediately to everyone in the Lore Seeker, and Tionne teaches them about lightsabers. Nomi Sunrider is namedropped (queen!) but overall lightsabers are reified, and I don't know how I feel about that tbh, even though they are admittedly SUPER COOL LASER SWORDS BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ.

Fortunately, Ikrit's there to say "Not All Jedi," since I am not, which catches Tionne off guard, since she didn't know he was a Jedi master. Tionne is apologetic about treating Ikrit like a pet, but Uldir continues to be a jerk, especially when Ikrit starts sharing his own personal trauma. And then Ikrit declaims about Anakin and Tahiri's powers, but graciously includes Uldir once Uldir pokes him about it.

The skies of Vjun are stormy, so it's a bumpy ride down. They land outside the castle instead of on the landing pad at the top because the weather is so awful. Anakin did his homework, and explains the situation (Dark Empire recap!):

“Did Uncle Luke tell you anything about the fortress itself?” Anakin asked.

“I don’t know much about it.”

“Well, I found out as much as I could before we left. Apparently Vader built Bast Castle as one of his private strongholds; he was a powerful man. After both he and Emperor Palpatine died, some of the Emperor’s followers brought a copy of Palpatine’s body here-a clone. This second Emperor was defeated too. Since then, the fortress has been abandoned, as far as we know.”

“I still don’t get it,” Uldir said to Anakin. “Why would your grandfather choose to build in such a desolate place?”

Oh, you sweet summer child.

They spy another shuttle, and Tahiri is forced to wear shoes again so they can climb up in the rain. It's basically the Stairs of Minas Morgul from LOTR, only the rain is turning to sleet. Artoo hates stairs and Ikrit rescues him when he falls off - but he can hack the door open, so that's good. The hall has a giant, larger-than-life statue of Darth Vader toppled over on the floor, because... drama.

Then the laser fire starts, and everybody ducks for cover. Artoo uses his newly-installed reviewed mirror to deflect the laster bolts, so they can disarm the automatic security system. Tionne steps in with her lightsaber when Artoo gets shot, and she and Ikrit start tossing random objects to block them while the kids race for the control panels and it's epic. The statue explodes and Artoo manages to hack the system right before he powers down.

Uldir clapped one hand down on Anakin’s shoulder. “Not half bad for a kid,” he said.

Quiet, you condescending fuck. Yes, I know, he's like 14, but he's still obnoxious as hell here.

Anyway, they repair Artoo, except he can't climb any more stairs (I'm so confused how he did it earlier, but okay), and they debate whether to split the party. The smart answer is always "No," but they eventually do anyway, because plot. Tahiri's just happy not to wear shoes. You'll be happy to know that the bathrooms still work. This whole thing feels like an RPG dungeon crawl and I'm HERE FOR IT.

Tahiri notices the floor's texture shifts and that turns out to be a clue and I LOVE THIS. There's a secret pit trap full of spkes, and then suddenly they're attacked by monsters. But eventually, the others find them and deduce that they're holograms. Anakin IDs himself to a door and it opens into a secret chamber... and then this happens:

At the same moment, a puff of smoke erupted in the doorway, and a dark-haired man with a neat beard, tawny eyes, and a deep purple cloak stood before them. The man threw back his head and laughed, although Anakin couldn’t see what was so funny.

“The powerful Mage of Exis Station thanks you,” he said. “I would never have found the lightsaber without your help.” He snatched the weapon from Tionne’s hand. “But I’ll take it now.”

Tahiri starts pestering this guy with questions and he is startled enough to admit he's the Mighty Orloc. Tahiri realizes he's a stage magician, but even so, he manages to open a trapdoor, sending Tionne and Ikrit elsewhere. The kids rush him, but there's smoke and when it clears, Orloc has vanished.

Ikrit and Tionne are fine, and they start looking to rejoin the kids, who are searching for them and/or Orloc. Artoo and Uldir take a tunnel while Tahiri and Anakin go up stairs. Everyone keeps tossing the stale Imperial ration bars they picked up earlier to test for traps, and the RP gamer in me approves.

“What’s this?” Tahiri asked, pointing to a raised platform that held a huge tube made of black plasteel. Wires and hoses snaked out from the cylinder in all directions. She ran a hand along its smooth side and found some sort of control panel.

“This looks like the tubes they use to bury dead people in space,” Anakin said.

It's actually Vader's bedroom! They find a little hidden hologram of a young Luke and I just... can't even...

Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The little hologram of a young Luke Skywalker turned in a slow circle, so that they could see it from every angle.

...Anakin felt a lump form in his throat. “My mom keeps holograms of me and Jacen and Jaina on her desk at work, and Dad has one of me and the twins in the Millennium Falcon. I think Darth Vader was just doing the same thing.”

“So maybe he wasn’t all bad,” Tahiri said in a soft voice.

Anakin starts to feel better about coming to Bast Castle, which is good, because he has Deep-Seated Issues that need to be resolved.

Meanwhile, Uldir sees the lightsaber as a magical talisman that will help him become a Jedi. He abandons Artoo and confronts Orloc, who draws the blade on him. Orloc offers to teach Uldir his powers if he'll come with him. Orloc's looking for the Holocron in Vader's private quarters, and Uldir is tempted, but ultimately turns him down because he realizes Orloc is a fraud.

Anakin and Tahiri find Orloc and Uldir and Tahiri slides down a pole to confront him. Orloc attacks her with the lightsaber. Tionne and Ikrit show up, and Artoo uses a high-frequency blast to distract Orloc long enough for Ikrit to yank the lightsaber with the Force. Orloc disappears, and Uldir mentions the Holocron in Vader's private quarters. So Anakin and Tahiri take them back there.

Tionne's like, let's GTFO, but Uldir suggests they test it, which is a mistake, but Tionne agrees. OF COURSE Orloc comes back and snags it. They chase Orloc through the castle, and there's a lot of trap door shenanigans, but ultimately Artoo helps save the day and they get the holocron back, even though Orloc conveniently escapes.

(Maybe I've been watching too much Scooby-Doo, but I honestly expected Orloc to say "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your talking [lagomorph]!" ...maybe in the next book?)

Ikrit suggests they use the ships in the hangar to fly down to the Lore Seeker instead of walking. Anakin suggests Ikrit keeps the ship, since he seems to enjoy piloting, and I don't know how Ikrit is piloting this thing since he's a lagomorph, but it makes him happy, and they all make it back to Yavin in two ships without incident, which means it's time for the inspirational moral!

“It feels good to be back,” he said with a sigh. Tahiri giggled. “That was certainly more of an adventure than I had bargained for.”

Tionne looked at her two students.

“Are you sorry you came with me?”

Anakin shook his head.

“The trip was worth making. I learned some interesting things about Darth Vader.”

“I learned to trust the Force and not just my eyes and ears,” Tahiri said.

“And we did find a lightsaber and a Holocron,” Anakin said.

“And a new ship for Ikrit,” Tahiri added. “So I think we’re glad we came along, but it may be a while before we go looking for adventures again.”

HAHAHAHA, right, kids. You just keep thinking that.

Ikrit names his ship the Sunrider after Nomi Sunrider, because he, too, stans a legend. Anakin and Tahiri ask if they can take the turbolift up to the Great Temple when Luke starts walking up the outside stairs, and Luke has NO IDEA WHY THEY HATE STAIRS, and... on that note, the book ends, with Luke being VERY confused. [I like that Moesta remembers the Great Temple has outside stairs, but... THE LAYOUT STILL MAKES NO SENSE!!!]

So, I don't know how to feel about this book. PROS: I love the character details with Luke, Ikrit, Tionne and Tahiri, and I like how all of the adults continue to be responsible while still allowing opportunities for the children to be competent and show initiative. It's great to see Bast Castle, and the whole thing has the feel of a classic RPG dungeon crawl. Yay for Artoo saving the day ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS, lol.

CONS: Uldir is annoying, and I wish he'd stop being such a jerk. None of the characters have ever played RPGs and it shows in their lack of genre-savvy. And I guess we'll see Orloc again in the next book, because... it feels like there wasn't much resolution of that particular plot in this book... no resolution to who Orloc actually is, or what or why. I feel like this book is part one of a two-episode plot, and I wasn't expecting that, but okay.

It's unclear if Obi-wan's lightsaber has any further plot significance or if it's just a macguffin. Ditto the holocron. But given the next book is Kenobi's Blade, I suspect Orloc's going to try and snag both, and Uldir is going to have a Not-So-Secret Test of Character about it. (To be fair, he passed the one in this book, so he's not all bad, but he's so obnoxious, it's challenging for me to give him credit where it's due.)

This book also kinda sorta falls into the "Jedi lightsaber fetish" trope, which I hate. Don't get me wrong, I love the laser swords and they are freaking awesome, but I hate how everybody latches onto "Jedi = laser sword" business as a symbol of identity. I know, I know, Star Wars is really ambivalent about whether the Jedi are Space!Samurai or Space!Monks, and I just... lean more towards the latter than the former, I guess?? But like I said, the lightsaber is more of a macguffin here, and Ikrit at least lampshades the issue a little bit, so I feel better about it.

Also, it just occurred to me it's unclear whether Tahiri hates shoes, sand, or stairs more, lol.

#star wars legends #junior jedi knights #book reviews #darth vader gothic drama castle

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weartirondad · 5 years ago

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A Hodgepodge Of Clouds

FF.net I ao3

“Tell me a story.”

It’s phrased like a demand but when Tony blinks down at the kid shamelessly tucked into his side he sees the faintest of question marks reflected in his deep brown eyes half hidden by dark, long eyelashes.

He can see the blue sky through some strands of his curly hair and a peak of red just above the top of his head and he feels his soul settle at the peaceful image.

“I don’t have a story to tell,” he gives back, albeit gently, and reaches out to chase away a pollen somersaulting through the mild evening air before it can settle on Peter’s face.

The boy scrunches up his nose indignantly at the hand so close to his face and almost goes cross-eyed trying to follow the sudden movement but never leans away. He doesn’t even flinch. If possible at all he leans closer, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder and angling it so he can look at the sky soaked in the softest of red.

Tony, on the other hand, keeps watching him and when he sees the sun set and the clouds fly past in his eyes he is certain that his boy holds the entire universe in his eyes. His universe at least.

“Everyone has a story to tell,” Peter retorts with a smile directed at nothing in particular and yet everything all at once. It’s the way he’s been ever since Tony has met him – smiling at the world, giving and shining and all Tony can do is hope that the world will smile back. “Just make one up.”

It sounds so easy when he says it, so confident and trusting and good.

But Tony is not the guy to make up kid- friendly bed time stories. Every story his mind has come up with so far has always ended in catastrophe. Every worst possible outcome will always come true in his head. His demons will always leak into his stories and he’s trying his hardest to keep them away from Peter – to keep the kid as sheltered as he possibly can even when he knows it’s futile with what he’s already seen.

Still, sometimes Peter’s optimism feels like the world has spared him from all the trauma Tony knows he’s gone through and he’s glad. He’s ridiculously glad that the kid can still get up every morning with hope in his eyes and love in his heart. He knows how hard it can be and it goes to show how much stronger Peter Parker is than he could have ever imagined.

With a small sigh he leans down and rests his cheek on top of Peter’s head. “I don’t have a very good imagination.”

“Liar,” Peter scoffs and the eye roll is evident in his tone, “Your imagination is unparalleled. It’s not like you’re leading R&D with someone else’s ideas. Or are you?” he asks mockingly shocked.

“It’s a different kind of imagination,” he argues halfheartedly, watching two shapeless clouds slowly morph together.

“Maybe,” Peter hums, “But it’s not really. And you have to be able to tell stories once you’re a dad, right?”

“I don’t think my newborn will care much about whatever it is I have to say. For all she cares I could be talking about the Henderson- Hasselbalch equation.”

It’s ridiculous but it makes Peter giggle and nestle into him more firmly with the movement so, in his books, he’s pretty sure he’s done something right. “Please don’t do that, Mister Stark. Since when do you talk chemistry anyway?”

“Since a certain someone,” he pokes his side, “Has started preparing his web fluids in my lab and I have to try to keep him from blowing it up.”

The joke is meant to distract and deflect but Peter, being Peter, doesn’t care much for Tony’s unwillingness to pad into new territory and simply ignores the jab. Instead he releases one of his hands from where they’re intertwined in his lap and points upwards, the borrowed hoodie sliding down just far enough to free his index finger but his thumb stays covered.

“Tell me what you see.”

“A hodgepodge of clouds.”

“That –“ Peter turns and forces Tony to lean back so he can meet his eyes, “Since when have you ever used the word hodgepodge.”

“It’s just a word, Pete.” He wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls him back in, missing the way his curls were tickling his nose and his every word reverberating through his side just seconds ago.

“It’s really not but it’s also not a point.” He nestles back into his original position easily and nudges Tony, “Tell me a story about the hodgepodge of clouds.”

“Well,” he frowns and looks at the assortment of clouds ahead.

They’re illuminated bright red and the first thing that comes to mind is a fire – an inferno burning through the sky, flames leaking and stretching, unfurling their clutches to swallow his world whole. There’s grey clouds in front of it, like ashes of what used to be scattering around the place. The whole scene makes his blood run cold and his left hand itch. Instead of burying his fingernails into the ball of his hand he smooths out a wrinkle in Peter’s – well, his – hoodie.

“They used to be warm air and now they’re water. The Rayleigh scattering makes sure it looks creepily red and the wind moves the whole thing.”

“For a genius,” Peter starts, “You’re pretty dumb sometimes.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk, Mister ‘I can totally drink while doing a one handed handstand and balance a Lego figure on my feet’.”

“In my defense, Darth Vader made me do it,” the kid has the audacity to giggle like the scream of him falling and landing on his Lego isn’t still echoing through his nightmares every once in a while. “Anyway, since you’re being a disaster I am going to tell you a story about those clouds.”

Before Tony can give some smartass retort, Peter has already untucked himself from his embrace and folds his legs crisscross in front of him, rocking back and forth on top of one of the tallest buildings in New York City.

Frankly, Tony hates it but he keeps quiet, instead reciting all the security precautions he has taken and why this specific kid could definitely not fall off this specific skyscraper.

“The clouds at the front are kind of all grey and dull and sad. Those are the people lacking imagination. Old people, cruel people. People stuck in the past.” Peter shoots him a pointed look but then goes back to focus on the sky instead, “They’re trying to keep everything the way it is, the status quo if you will, trying to hide the bright minds and the hope that’s marching on behind them.”

“But you see,” he smiles softly and plays with the sleeves of the dark blue hoodie, “Where the light is strongest, the grey is already starting to break and it’s obvious they won’t be able to hold them in much longer.”

“They scream love louder than the others can silence them. It’s the new generation marching up, demanding its rights and demanding change. It’s hope that’s spreading like a wildfire in their hearts and eventually it’s going to be stronger than the cold faceless mass of grey. It’s like a dawn of a new era where everything is light instead of darkness.”

“Maybe this is God’s way of showing us that our time will be soon and to keep being hopeful. Or maybe,” he shrugs almost bashfully,” it’s just a really beautiful hodgepodge of clouds.”

“Or maybe,” Tony weighs the words on his tongue, meeting the kid’s eyes and thanking whatever God or universe of fate it was that made them meet, “Maybe you are right and it’s hope. I like your story.”

“You do?”

“Well, except for the fact that apparently I’m part of the faceless grey mass that is trying to kill the hope. Yes, I did.”

Peter laughs, open and young and faithful, “Oh, you’re not. You just try to act like it sometimes but I think you’re one of the brightest lights and you’ll always fight for a better future, Mister Futurist.”

Without looking he leans back, trusting Tony to make sure he lands with his head in his lap and he curls into himself on the hard concrete like it is a mattress, cushioned only by the loose sweatshirt, facing the same direction again to keep watching the slowly moving clouds with a small yawn.

Tony joins him, fingers finding a spot just right behind Peter’s ear and falling into a familiar pattern of untangling his curls.

“Next story is on you, by the way.”

“I’ll try my very best.”

When he looks up again the grey clouds have parted and scattered and the red has turned into a hopeful yellowy-orange and he promises himself and the kid slowly drifting off to look at the world a little more like Peter does from now on.

here’s the clouds I saw that forced me to sit down and write this (those are like phone pics taken by someone who’s got no clue what they’re doing, don’t judge):

#irondad #irondad fic #iron dad #iron dad fic #tony stark #peter parker #some cloud watching #fluff #story telling #josis fic #a hodgepodge of clouds #i also learned a new word today and im not sure im using it correctly but i also don't care much

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blueseasfanfics · 5 years ago

Note

Hellooo! Could you write 12 with Sherlock?? I would like to see a cute one with him ⚘

Murders of Passion

Pairing: Sherlock X Reader

Word Count: 2889

A/N: Sorry if it’s a bit too long, got the slightest bit carried away, lol

You only moved in because Mrs. Hudson and John pleaded and you were desperate.

“Is that really all you have, dear?” Mrs. Hudson met you at the door with a smile, referring to the backpack slung over your shoulder.

“Well, yeah I had to leave early-”

“Let’s get you all set up then, it’s a small room but John had always spent most of the time in Sherlocks’ anyways.” Mrs. Hudson was basically dragging you up the stairs with a vice grip on your wrist, as if to keep you from running out the door.

Before you knew it, you were outside a door with the screeching of an animal being heard inside.

“Oh, he’s in a bit of a mood.” Mrs. Hudson tuts next to you as she knocks on the door briskly.

“Sherlock? I’m coming in.” She declares and pushes the door open, but before either of you can say a thing before a gun is pointed at you and the sound of it cocking rings through the air.

“Sherlock!” Mrs. Hudson almost screams, but he simply tuts and shoots above the both of your heads and hits the doorframe. Mrs. Hudson scurries away shouting about insanity, and you both watch her as she leaves.

You turn away to see the man you guess to be Sherlock Holmes has thrown the gun haphazardly on the sofa next to him and has gone back to playing the violin.

Well, more like sawing at the strings with the bow.

“Do I have wood-dust in my hair?” You say, walking in and looking at yourself in the entryway mirror.

“Shut up.”

“You’re treating that violin like you’re garroting it.”

“Who even are you, exactly?” You watch him suddenly stop playing and whirl over to face you, and your eyes connect in the mirror.

“I’m your new room-”

“Not new to London but used to spend much time in the countryside, used to have a cat but no time soon, left quickly but not out of eagerness, and you particularly like the color blue. Now was it John or Hudson that told you you have to babysit me.” He has been steadily advancing towards you until he towers over you, still locking eyes in the mirror.

Glancing over yourself in curiosity, you stay silent.

“It was both.” He says lowly, and goes back to the violin, picking it up again and settling it against his chin.

“I’ve never spent time in the countryside.” You say succinctly, adjusting your bag. “There are other reasons I’m comfortable around guns. I guess you’ll have that to figure out.”

You turn back around to see Sherlock is frozen with the bow set on the strings, clearly listening.

“The rest is amazing though, I just have to find out how you knew.”

“You don’t wish to ask? Say ‘that’s so fascinating, am I that easy to read?’.” Sherlock mocks slightly.

“No, I know enough about you for that. Bedroom in the back?”

“No.”

“I’ll make some tea in a minute.”

Sherlock continues playing the violin as you walk away, if a bit more melodic than before but that could simply be the distance.

You set your bag down, looked over the room, and left just as quickly.

Sherlock has stopped playing now, sitting crouched on the armchair facing out the window in eerie stillness.

The famous Sherlock Holmes looks like a statue, but that comparison had been made already in dozens of papers and blogs. The famous Sherlock Holmes, as beautiful as a statue with a heart of stone to go with it.

Maybe just the heart of stone part was in the papers.

You look around the dismal kitchen, pour an old eye-and-tea in the trash, and make a tea for the bored genius mind.

“Do you have a case?” Asked innocently but it didn’t require a response. The broken string on the violin was clue enough of that.

He had been like this for weeks now, the only times you two talked were when clients came in and he begrudgingly (with a hint of pride and drama) told you how he solved them in a manic rant.

“Could I see it?” You bring him a cup of tea, but he still doesn’t move. Looking around him, you see papers scattered everywhere, photos and scraps of notes tossed around in no particular order.

Unless of course, the order has a mind of its own.

A photo of a man and a woman, holding hands, stabbed in the heart. In fact, photos. Couples, of every gender and race known to man, dead and holding hands. In alleyways, sitting atop couch seats in living rooms, two even seem to be in a basket in the London Eye.

Nothing to do with each other except for love.

The one closest to you piqued your interest, and picking it up your eyes settled on the defining feature of each photo. Their hands.

“They’re stitched together.” You say quietly, and that seems to have thrown Sherlock out of his trance because he snatches the photo out of your hand.

“Of course they were, it’s the first thing one sees.”

“Why are they stitched together?”

“Murder mark. Sign of the killer, stitches them together as a show of their love or whatever John stupidly said.”

“Stupidly? Do you have any better idea?”

“No need for one, stupid ideas fit well with stupid people. What I don’t know is, how they are all connected.” He jumps out of his chair now, grabbing all the photos together.

“Well, they’re all connected by hand.”

“Was that supposed to be a joke?”

“Wasn’t it funny.”

He paused.

“Yes.” And continued on his tirade, grabbing push pins and stabbing them into his wall, stepping back and glaring at them. You waltz up to his side, also looking.

“Are they connected by their job?”

“No, none worked under the same employer.” He mutters, and you wonder if he registers you as another person at this point.

“Family?”

“Not even a distant cousin.”

“Social life?”

“Haven’t found any mention of connected friends in any way.”

“Forget about that, how did they meet each other?”

Silence for barely a millisecond, and then he whirls around to look down at you.

“Who are you again?”

“Your new roommate. John and Hudson approved.”

“And you have been put here to-”

“Babysit you was the term you used, to have a place to sleep is mine.”

“Hmm. And what exactly is your line of work.”

“Babysitting you.”

The corners of his mouth twitch and he turns back around to the photos, but glancing down at you.

“How do you think they all met.”

“What? How am I supposed to know.”

“You obviously noticed something, you were the one that said it. Come on, look in that little brain of yours.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just do it.”

You grumble but examine the photos more closely anyway.

Each couple had their hands stitched together, hastily but still bonded. Normal dress, if a bit more skimpy on everyone, hair down when they had it and most lipstick smudged. The shoes were-wait.

“They met at parties, didn’t they?” You whisper.

“Explain it.”

“Well, her shoes are off and gone. She’s barefoot, but her feet aren’t that dirty. She must have taken them off because they were hurting her after a long night out. It explains everyone’s clothing too, party clothing.” You look up at Sherlock, who’s grinning.

“You have somewhere to be tonight?”

—

“My first night living with you and we’re already on a date.”

“This isn’t a date.”

The both of you are sitting in the back of a taxi-cab, driving to some party Sherlock said his contact told him about.

“You do know most people don’t go to a party in a tuzedo.” You remark, looking him up and down.

“They don’t? Aren’t parties formal?” He furrows a brow and looks over himself.

“No. Didn’t you notice what the men were wearing? Take off the suit and the bowtie.”

“Are you asking me to strip in the back of a taxi?”

“I said the suit, not the shirt.” He grumbles as he obliges.

“Better now?” He says, almost mockingly, but you ignore him as you reach over and unbutton his top button, hand resting on his neck for just a moment.

Silent, he watches you as you look over him and shrug.

“Good enough.”

The rest of the ride is silent until you pull up to your location, a street away from the actual party.

“Why exactly are we so far away again?” You sigh, hugging yourself against the cold.

“They seemed to be fond of each other in every couple. Not like two people in a long relationship together, they were new and all over themselves. If we want to be targeted, we have to go in separately.”

“So I’m just supposed to go in, mingle for a little while, and then what.”

“Come up to me and chat me up.”

“Chat you up? Someone has an ego, doesn’t he.”

“What, would you rather be chatted up?”

“No, not really.” You scoff.

“Good then. Run along. I’ll see you in a minute.”

“You better.” You stalk off in the almost deserted neighbourhood, finally coming up on a building with barely contained noise inside. Stepping past a couple of smokers, you push open the doors to be affronted by a wall of loud music, stomping, and yelling.

Lights of all colors came from every direction, and there seemed to be a huddle of people around a corner of the place. Bar, imaginably.

This was the most cliche party you had ever been to.

You walked in, smiling at a few people, making your way to the bar somehow. Next to you, a woman started talking to you and as you strained to hear her you noticed Sherlock walking in and looking around seriously.

He looked out of place, with lights illuminating his face, but you couldn’t tear your eyes from him for a moment until he notices you staring at him.

He jerks his head to the side and breaks eye contact, and you listen again to the woman (apparently newly single and named Olivia) who was now pulling you to the dance floor.

You were supposed to mingle, weren’t you? You quickly oblige, losing yourself slowly into the dance, Olivia sticking very close by you the whole time.

Time. How long had it been? There had been quite a few songs since you started, it was probably time to find Sherlock-

“Hello there.” You hear a deep voice right next to your ear and you fight back the flutter you feel in your chest.

You whirl around and immediately see Sherlock pressed against you by the overbearing crowd and you quickly gather yourself.

“Hello.” You yell back, and Olivia seems to have noticed you not next to her anymore as she has made her way over to you.

“Care for a dance?” Sherlock asks, catching hold of your wrist and pulling you closer, and you smile suspiciously.

“Actually she’s with someone!” Olivia yells, and you laugh it off.

“It’s fine Olivia, I’ll see you soon alright?” You shout back and Sherlock quickly pulls you away to another part of the crowd.

“Do you even know how to dance?” You shout and he scoffs.

“Of course I do.”

“Well, this doesn’t seem much like a waltz and you have your hand on my waist.”

Sherlock quickly drops his hand and coughs.

“We can’t just stand here in the middle of the dance floor.” You remark, and he sighs.

“Just jump around a little and we’ll go to the bar.”

“Don’t we have to seem like we’re flirting? Through dance?”

“Do you really want to copy them?” He points at a couple that were rubbing up against each other and you cough nervously.

“No. But just dance.” You start to move to the rhythm of the music, waving your hips and bobbing your head, and you see Sherlock start to copy you.

You get closer to him after a little bit, and quickly grab his hands and put them on your waist.

“What are you doing?” He raises an eyebrow, and you nod your head over your shoulder.

“Olivia. She’s been watching us.”

“I’ve noticed as well. But she’s been watching others too. The two in the corner having an affair, and the two too drunk to remember their own names.”

“How do we make sure she chooses us then, if she’s the killer?”

“How many times have you been chatted up?” He says quite seriously, and you laugh.

“Enough times.”

“How many.”

“Why, you jealous.”

Nothing from him but a grimace and he looks back up at the crowd.

“Fine. Once, maybe twice.”

“Makes more sense.” You pinch him at that. “What’s the next step for them?”

“Drink, then a bit of fun in an alley I would think.”

“Would think?”

“Yeah. I didn’t always get to that part of the evening.”

“Why not?” A surprisingly genuine question coming from him.

“What, you’re not going to say that makes sense either?”

“You’re an attractive woman. It would only make sense that they would want to continue the evening.”

“Why thank you, Sherlock.”

“You seem easy enough too, at any rate.”

“Always have to have a barb, don’t you. How about we skip the drink and walk past her to the alley, see if she follows.” Before he can answer, you’ve grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him with you, feeling her stare as you walk past and walk out the open door.

“Has she followed?” You ask, and Sherlock barely takes a glance behind.

“She’s watching from inside.”

“How do we get her out here instead?” You grumble, and Sherlock whirls you to face him and then grabs you by the waist.

“Do you trust me.”

“I barely know you.”

He quickly moves you up against a wall, eyes staring straight into your own. They were grayer than you had thought, and now very close. He moves a hand to your neck, fingers cradling your cheek and jaw, and your heart starts pumping loud enough that you can hear it.

“Is she watching us.” He mutters and you try to blink out of your stupor, glancing over his shoulder.

“Y-yeah.”

“When I kiss you, try to not fall in love with me.”

“Sure, only if you stop falling in love with me.”

“Too late.” Was the last thing he said before he crashed his lips into yours.

He was clumsy, careless, inexperienced but still powerful, and you quickly lost track of anything else.

After a minute or two, or probably shorter, he grabs your hand and leads you down the alley, holding you close. You’re right up against him, your ear to his ribcage, and you can hear his heart pounding.

“She’s behind us. We’ll turn the corner, go down a bit until we get to the skatepark at the bottom of the street. Then you run. Understand?”

You can’t formulate words just yet, heart pounding out of either excitement or fear, and follow him along.

Once you get to the building, Sherlock quickly turns a corner and brings you both into the shadows. He holds a finger to his lips as you hear someones quick and quiet footsteps, that suddenly stop.

“She’s taken her shoes off.” You whisper in his ear and he nods, crouching down lower until finally he lets your wrist go and pushes you away.

“Run.”

You do so as you see Olivia come out of the shadows suddenly, leaping onto Sherlock with a glint of metal in her hand, and you hear him grunt in the darkness as he tries to fight her off but she obviously has the upper hand. Quickly, you hide behind a low wall and look around for anything, but all that’s there is paper and bags.

Your eyes finally settle on your shoes.

Wedges. Big, heavy, can pack a punch.

Stripping them both of and clutching one in your hand, you quickly dash behind ramps and walls to get behind the fighting duo, and as you get closer you see Olivia has gained the upper hand, straddling his chest and and lifting her knife high above his heart.

You creep up behind her and smash her upside the head with the wooden wedge, shoving her off by the shoulder with your other foot.

“Took you long enough.” You merely said as you stood himself up and dusted himself off.

“What, not even a thank you?”

“For what exactly?”

“For saving your life, you numbskull!”

“You really think I didn’t have it under control?”

“You seemed to be under her knife.”

“And you seemed to be above it.”

“That barely makes sense, so I’m going to count it as a thanks from you.”

“I think I’ll be fine with you as a roommate.”

“You bloody better be.”

You both are breathing heavily, only the moon shining a weak gleam on the both of you.

“Did John warn you about me?”

“Only that you would very quickly be one of the most important men in my life. And that you can be a stuck-up egomaniac.”

“I will be.”

He really was right about everything.

——

Wanted to be added to a Sherlock only taglist? Message me :)

@fuckthatfeeling@drakesfiance@forthesnakeofdragons@astridanalisenightshade@kcd15@ciniluv

#sherlock #sherlock holmes #sherlock x reader #sherlock tv #prompt #oneshot #fic

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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years ago

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Twenty-Four: Loss of Memory ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto, Ebisu ] [ SasuHina, blood ] [ Verse: Like Magic ] [ AO3 Link ]

It all began in that bookstore.

Rescuing Naruto from his no-good Summer guardian (which, in all fairness, was mostly Shisui’s hairbrained idea to use his Merlin-forsaken enchanted car) meant that Sasuke and Naruto visited Diagon Alley together with the former’s elder brother Itachi leading them through their school supplies list. They’d met up with their friends - the Hufflepuff Hinata and the Ravenclaw Sakura - on the way, barely able to fit into the bookstore. A so-called famous author, Ebisu, had been there signing copies of his books...and Mikoto had begged Itachi get her a signed copy of one of his tomes.

And it was there they ran into the last people they wanted to see: another Slytherin, Gaara, and his father Rasa. After a rather tense standoff, Rasa calling Hinata a blood traitor as a pureblood mucking about with those ‘lesser’, they’d all failed to notice the book he’d slipped into her cauldron of supplies.

It was that book that would shape the coming year in terrible, terrible ways.

The first attack left the entire school shaken: the caretaker’s cat petrified, and a bloody message written on the wall just beneath her form:

“The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the heir, beware.”

A Chamber of Secrets…? Not an entirely unfounded idea in their four young minds. After all, Hogwarts was old, and even the headmaster had claimed there were still things undiscovered and unknown about it. But given the impressions from the staff (and some students…), it had seemed such an idea had been heard of before.

Only through their history teacher did they learn of the rumors of the Slytherin founder’s alleged secret chamber: a place housing a terrible monster to cleanse Hogwarts of those Salazar found to be ‘unsuitable’ for learning the arts of magic.

A monster within Hogwarts...and one bent on eliminating those of so-called ‘impure’ blood...a terrifying thought. Especially given that one of their own, Sakura, was Muggleborn. And Naruto himself was a halfblood.

But the strange happenings didn’t stop there.

During a Quidditch match, Naruto found himself being chased by a seemingly-rogue bludger. Only after it broke his arm (and the incompetent Ebisu vanished his bones) did Naruto come to know it was Shukaku - a house elf bent on keeping Naruto from the castle - behind several incidents thus far. He revealed that the Chamber had been opened once before.

...and the attacks continued. The school began a dueling club in hopes of preparing the students for trouble. And it was then during a typical rivalry escalation that Sasuke learned something about himself he’d never known before:

He was a Parselmouth.

Immediately, suspicion began to grow against him. Salazar, after all, had been famed for his ability to speak to serpents. And now Sasuke - part of a pureblood Slytherin-frequenting family - was revealed to have the same ability?

...could he be the heir…? The one attacking the Muggleborns? Maybe his friendship with Sakura was fake...after all, they’d been seen bickering at times.

Desperate to find the real mastermind, the group decides to use a Polyjuice potion to interrogate Gaara, figuring his family’s sketchy history may be a clue. The broken bathroom they used was always occupied by a peculiar girl ghost, who later revealed a key clue: a strange diary someone had left in her haunt.

Sasuke did all he could to uncover its secrets, discovering it belonged to a young man named Madara. He had been present during the last attack, showing his valiant capture of the previous perpetrator: the current groundskeeper.

But that did little to solve their problem. As the headmaster and groundskeeper were removed...one last attack seemed the final straw:

Sakura.

But she provided the clue they needed: in her bookish ways, she’d finally found the answer. The monster was a basilisk: a giant snake, explaining Sasuke’s ability to hear a strange voice all year coming from the walls. They then realize that the student killed when the chamber was last opened was none other than Rin, the lavatory ghost...who tells them all they need to know.

But upon their attempts to rally the last of their group...they find Hinata gone. Taken into the Chamber for her status as blood traitor. Desperate, the boys go to enlist Ebisu’s help.

...only to find him quick busily packing.

“...going somewhere, professor?” Sasuke asks, stepping into the room and drawing the man’s gaze.

Ebisu, as it turns out...is a fraud. But that doesn’t stop Naruto and Sasuke dragging him into the bathroom where Rin waits, Sasuke opening the chamber at last with a command of Parseltongue.

One ride down the pipes later, and the trio find themselves beneath the castle.

“...bloody hell,” Naruto mumbles, pointing. “...is that…?”

“A snake skin,” Sasuke replies. “And a huge one. That’s got to be from the basilisk. Remember...keep your eyes closed if you think it’s near.”

“Oh...well…” With a roll of his eyes, Ebisu simply...collapses.

Both boys give him a glance. “...he’s fainted,” Naruto mutters. “Git.”

Making to poke him with his patched-up wand, the blond gives a holler as the professor snatches it, leaping up and grinning.

“Well now...that’s better. Can’t have you two telling anyone what you know! Now, let’s see...how to spin this little story...ah, yes. We were...too late to save the girl. You both succumbed to shock and madness at the grisly sight. All that remains...is to wipe your memories. Obliviate!”

Before either boy can react, there’s a sparking glow from the split in Naruto’s wand...and then Ebisu crashes against the wall.

And then with a rumble, the chamber begins to crumble…!

“Look out!” Each skittering backwards, the boys duck for cover...and as the rubble comes to a standstill, it’s piled high and wide between them.

“Sasuke!”

“I’m all right! But...I don’t think there’s a way through.”

With a groan, Ebisu then lolls his head up to look at Naruto. “...oh...well hello. Who...who are you? And…” His brow furrows. “...who am I?”

“...I think his spell backfired, he’s lost his memory...but what do we do now?”

Sasuke hesitates. “...stay here, and try to move some of this rock, if you can. I’ll go find Hinata! And...keep an eye on Ebisu. Who knows if he’s faking again, so...be careful.”

“...right. You too.”

“Not sure there’s much point in that now,” Sasuke mutters to himself, continuing down the rocky corridor...only to find another door.

“...all right. Er…” Swallowing, he gives another murmur of Parseltongue, the ornate serpent lock coming undone and revealing a huge chamber. At the rear, a giant stone statue of Salazar, flanked by snakes.

And at the end...a motionless Hinata.

“...no…!” Heart clenching in fear, Sasuke dashes forward and crashes at her side, seeing her skin as pale as death. “Hinata...Hinata!”

“...she won’t wake.”

Gasping, Sasuke looks into the shadows, where a familiar young man walks. “...Madara…? But…? Look, we have to get out of here! There’s a monster!”

“It won’t come until it’s called.”

Sasuke pauses...and then lifts his gaze. In Madara’s hands, forgotten by his own, is his wand. “...give that back.”

“Oh, you won’t be needing it.”

“Didn’t you hear me? There’s a monster! And...we…”

“I can’t let you leave. You see...the weaker this blood traitor gets...the stronger I become. It was she who opened the Chamber of Secrets.”

“No...she couldn’t, she -!”

“She unleashed the basilisk, let it seek out the Mudbloods in the castle...and it was she who wrote the warnings on the walls.”

“But...why?”

“Because I told her to. My instructions were rather...convincing...” A smirk grows across his face. “But not to worry. It was I, not she, who was in control. To finish what Salazar aimed to do.”

“Why would you…?”

“Because I...am the heir of Slytherin. His blood courses through my veins. Veins which, soon now, will be living again. Resurrected from a memory preserved in a diary for fifty years. And very soon now...I will be reborn. And this time...nothing can stop me from purifying the wizarding world. Not even you...your precious headmaster is gone. No one is left to stand against me.”

“You’re wrong...he’s never gone. Not so long as students remain who believe in him…!”

As the pair stare each other down, a trill sounds at the front of the cavern.

“...Fawkes…?”

With a toss, the phoenix drops a worn piece of fabric Sasuke struggles to catch. It’s...the Sorting Hat…?

“...ha...so this is what your loyalty earns you? A songbird, and an old hat. Well...let’s see how it matches up against the power of Salazar Slytherin…!” Eyes wide with malice and grin bearing teeth, Madara turns to the founder’s likeness. A chant of Parseltongue sees the statue’s mouth begin to open.

“Now what will you do…?”

Staggering back, Sasuke watches with wide eyes as a rustling fills the air...and the basilisk emerges with a geyser-like hiss.

“Very soon now, the process will be complete. Hinata Hyūga will die...and I will be born anew. And by then, you’ll be rotting in the basilisk’s belly!”

Barely breathing, Sasuke does all he can do, wandless and alone.

He runs.

.oOo.

(This is a sequel to days 28, 230, 299, and 316!) Well this is...a lot more rushed than I'd like, but it was the first thing that came to mind. And after wasting WAY too much time reading a summary and then checking film pieces to refresh MY memory (ahaha, get it?), I couldn't back out xD I love this crossover, but obviously I need to find more roles, cuz uh...I had to leave quite a few blank, and some of these are a little...hurried, lol BUT! We have a crossover with Chamber of Secrets. And it's valiant Sasuke off to save Hinata! Well...he doesn't look too valiant running away at the end there, but he needs to plan! And not get eaten! Not to worry, I'm sure he'll save her in the end. I know this is an evil cliffie, but...at the same time, we all (or most) know how this goes, right? Forgive me xD Limited time and word count is a killer, lol - maybe I'll do more another time! Buuut anyway, it's...very late, so I better go ^^; Thanks for reading!

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #uzumaki naruto #ebisu #blood //#like magic [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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tellthosewithpowersafeintower · 5 years ago

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Autistic Bumlets HC’s

This is actually one of the first things I wrote but I’ve been nervous to post it. Anyway, I had so much fun writing this and love Bumlets so much

I might write more for this at some point if anyone’s interested with some more thoughts and I hope you enjoy! This is super long and kind of rambly but I had fun with all of this

Bumlets loves his cane

It has a really nice weight and he always needs to be fidgeting with something and he loves the feel it has when tapping it

It doubles as a stimmy and something to help him maneuver because Bumlets has no coordination

And he loves it

He also on an unrelated note had an injury that screwed with his foot when he was a kid

It bothers him more when its cold out and he relies more on the cane on bad pain days

He uses it as a selling point sometime

He and Crutchie joke around sometimes and mess with their crutch and cane together

They know things can be awful sometimes so they share lighter, goofy silly moments

Bumlets is really uncoordinated

He has a really hard time maneuvering around and controlling his movement when he’s walking

There’s this one table in the hall of the Lodging’s

It stayed in the same place but every day for three years the boy could not get by without knocking into it at some point

His proprioception is completely screwed

He loves dancing tho and he’s SO GOOD at it

He feels self-conscious sometimes bc like, he can do backflips and amazing dance moves but he can’t tell left from right all the time or the distance between objects and proceeds to knock into everything on his way anywhere

Absolutely LOVES dancing

He loves it

Plus dance is a more acceptable way to move your body than flapping your hands/rocking or whatever

At least with the newsies (who don’t really seem to care either way)

Bumlets loves being in motion

He had to work really hard as a kid to figure out how to coordinate his dancing movements. He spent hours trying to practice each step because he was so clumsy due to his brain function that even though he really freaking loved dancing it was really hard for him

He actually used the cane first when he was little to try and help push himself around when he struggled with dance moves he really wanted to do

He’s very proud of his dancing now

And he loves that he gets to show it with the boys he loves as family

He gets praised sometimes for being super expressive because he’s almost always smiling or showing something on his face. It can be really good for selling sometimes to have someone so that seems so open and friendly

Honestly tho Bumlets never knows what is happening on his face so if people ask he has no clue how to help

He has a hard time registering what his face is doing at all

He can tell sometimes he’s smiling really widely when his face starts hurting but he feels pretty disconnected from his face most of the time and he’s really confused by how others can tell what is happening on people’s faces and what that is supposed to signify so easily

Like… how

Bumlets really doesn’t get idioms at all

He has a mental list of some of the phrases the other newsboys use

Even though sometimes he’ll slip up and get really excited and start grinning because he has a relevant point in response to that statement- but oh that’s a phrase/idiom or non-literal joke they didn’t actually mean that he should stay quiet

Plus English isn’t his first language

So things get really messy there too

There are so many little idiosyncrasies and quirks in different languages and they’re really hard to keep track of sometimes even if you don’t have autistic characteristics

His hair always stays down and he really likes the feel of it

He can’t stand the thought of getting a haircut

Plus having it long/hang down feels nice on the sensory end

He doesn’t like people touching his hair

Bad. Touch.

Bumlets doesn't like short pants bc if your going to wear pants they have to go all the way down

He doesn't like leaving just a section of skin exposed

It's gross!!

Baggy. Clothes.

He loves them

He very rarely slips up when he's dancing. Bumlets has rehearsed the motions for so many countless hours they feel natural at this point so he's generally in a pretty bad way when that does happen

When he gets excited he tends to start tapping his cane faster and his eyes light up

He can chatter away for hours about things he's interested in without pause or losing enthusiasm

Bumlets can be pretty oblivious

He has a hard time telling when people are upset or emotional

Hyperempathetic as frick

Internally panics and screams the whole time anyone is upset bc he isn't sure what he's supposed to do but he Loves Them

Hypersensitive to touches but loves hugs

He is a very physical person bc he loves showing affection but some days touch is just Bad

Can't do surprise touches very well

Espec from certain people

He has a hard time supporting his weight (he just sways faintly a lot but has no idea, can't tell if he's in motion) so he uses his cane for support

It helps him a lot

And he likes something to try to use to catch him if he stumbles a little

Plus itsa stimmy

He tends to shut down if noises and lights become way too much

Like this:

Duck behind a statue for a moment to breathe

also

tap tap tap and finger thing I can’t get my body to cooperate to do

He has a few places he goes when he's overwhelmed

Very rarely completely shuts down but it's always incredibly exhausting

The first time he did it around the newsies he just collapsed and slept for hours afterwards

He didn't move like at all in his sleep which freaked them all out because Bumlets always seemed to be doing something + he slept for like a whole day

The boys worried about him

Bumlets was a lil sleepy and sheepish when he woke up but good

Used his cane extra that day

The newsies are super great

They don't always understand but they try really hard and love him to death

There aren’t really a lot of words to help him explain things because it is 1899 but they all make it work, and if the kids can sell papes and live with the rest of them they have been absorbed into their crazy weird family and will be fought for

They've become pretty good at noticing signs for when he's getting overwhelmed

Usually someone will grab him and take him out to rest if he’s not in a space to just go himself

Different people do different things but he loves them all

Some of the boys will just have quiet conversations with Bumlets one-on-one about things he loves when he's more coherent

One just sits with him quietly supportive while he fiddles with stuff

He actually doesn't smoke a lot but he loves fiddling with cigars or messing with them in his mouth

Oral stim

He used to use them a lot more

He still uses them sometimes and has some around

One time after a really bad day (meltdown) Race gave him one of his cigars. He made him promise not to tell anyone but Bumlets was so happy he couldn't care less

He was very careful with said cigar bc it was from Race

So it was automatically important

He doesn't always understand Race cause he's super witty but he loves hearing him talk

Bumlets can be a really convincing liar. He's not the best but he can definitely pass and he kind of has to on the streets

Can be really loud

Rowdy boy, like the rest of the newsies

Adventurous as frick

Wild child

He’s super eager and almost always seen smiling

He’s excited by so many things

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other emotions because he definitely does

He feels like he just soaks up all emotions and dealing with them when he can’t understand is a mess

Skittery is great at listening even when Bumlets is past the point of words or even understanding how to put things into words

Doesn't always realize when things are supposed to be insults

Forgets he's supposed to take care of himself sometimes

He forgets he's supposed to eat and doesn't always realize if he's hungry or needs water

Exasperates Skittery and some of the boys but they try to remind him in case he doesn't remember

The newsies love him

He's awkward and nervous and doesn't understand things sometimes but really kind and cares very obviously about all of them

Appreciates the little things

He's good at noticing tiny details or inconsistencies others miss sometimes

While he’s friends are really great at helping that doesn’t mean he can’t fend for himself

He can definitely pick fights and hold his own and look after himself

His family is just their to help when things go sour

They don’t make him feel like he’s any less bc he’s “weird” or different

Skittery is incredibly close with him and helps him a lot

They’re So. Close.

Skittery helps keep track of things when his thoughts are more scattered

Bumlets is also very good at helping Skittery because he’s really smart with money and sorting things out

When he pushes himself too far sometimes Skittery is the exasperated friend who wants Bumlets to stop being an idiot and look after himself

He's really supportive and sometimes tugs him aside to help explain terms or phrases when Bumlets doesn't understand

Skittery also has a cane and they tussle a lot with them

Bumlets has always really loved that bc when they were starting it out it made him feel like he was one of them

They're almost always inseparable

And he has a hard time sometimes when he doesn't have Skittery because with Skittery things Make Sense

When he's gone Bumlets is sad

He misses his friend

But the other boys are nice too and he loves them

He considers the newsies his family since he doesn’t really have his bio family anymore

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arkus-rhapsode · 6 years ago

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My Hero Academia Chapter 210 Review

Well this was a short chapter, but hot damn is it a scary one.

We open on All Might taking the call from Gran Torino from last chapter. Gran Torino talks about how Nana had a dream after inheriting one for all. It seems that this was the same dream Izuku had at the beginning of the arc that told us of All for One and One for All’s origins.

We cut to Deku on the field. I’m going to kinda get ahead of myself, there is not much focus on the actual clash this chapter, so the pacing around it might come off as a little wonky. Deku is leaping through the air, while his team follows behind him.

We cut back to the crowd observing the clash.

Deku having to work harder than Bakugou is really just the theme of their relationship, are we surprised that someone verbalized it?

Anyway, good to notice that Iida and Todoroki are back from the infirmary, probably meaning Honenuki and Tetsutetsu are back. Iida points out that Deku’s formation looks similar to Bakugou’s, which given how Deku’s original fighting style was developed from watching Bakugou and All Might, this makes sense that they’d have a similar strategy.

According to Sero their evently balanced, but I gotta disagree. While both teams consist of an all around ace, Bakugou and Midoriya, Deku’s team has a lot more skill based team members. Sero was arguable the most skill based in Bakugou’s team, Jirou was mainly recon, and Satou was extra power. That’s an all around team. But Team Deku is more or less unbalanced in the sense they have one power player and 3 skill based users.

As we’ll see though, Deku is still scary thanks to the fact Team Monoma is almost all skill based and lacks any power player. Now also, Sero does point out that Deku lacks someone like Jirou who was able to find their locations which assisted in allowing Bakugou to take the lead without much worry. Deku instead is flying blind into this, having to draw out team Monoma on his own.

Then here’s the line about Deku working harder about Bakugou. I’m going to get back to this later so instead we’ll just cut back to the field where Team Deku is following behind him.

Deku’s plan is to draw out team Monoma and find their locations, he’s such a threat to them that there is no way they’d be able to ignore him. A barrel gets thrown at Deku and Deku identifies it as Yanagi’s quirk. Now, he’s an issue I have, and its basically in universe people seem to be aware of abilities we have never seen before. Now we got names for all of class 1-b’s quirks, but we didn’t know what they could do. Hell, no one seemed to know what Tokage’s ability was at first.

Now Deku is the most analytical in Class 1-A, so that likely means he might have notebooks and records on all of class 1-A’s quirks as well as 1-B’s from their training camp. Now we get a description of Yanagi’s quirk later, but right now, Deku immediately knows it.

Or does he???

Looks like that attack was Yanagi’s quirk and Monoma is using it. Monoma sttes that Deku is definitely a threat, but if he’s like Bakugou, then that means that he needs his team to draw out their full potential and not just work to support one member.

So unlike Tokage, Monoma is opting to instead of just try and draw them out, he’s on the offensive. As we see that Uraraka off screen has been attacked.

Monoma is taunting Deku and unfortunately, Monoma’s instigation tendecy make is hard to tell if this is all true, or if he’s actually copied Shinou and is going to try and brainwash Deku.

He even is sowing doubt into Deku by potentially saying their fine and that Urarak’s scream might’ve been Shinsou. In the end, Monoma has Deku locked right here, meaning unlike Bakugou, he can’t pick off their side one-by-one. I also gotta give shoutout to Monoma here, he is acting in such control here he’s actually quite threatening. I guess it goes to show that Monoma’s tendencies apply better on the battlefield then they do in social situations.

In social situations, Monoma either comes f like a jerk or a joke, but in battle he’s actually quite effective. Taunting and pushing opposing characters without seeming to try so hard like he does in normal situations.

Deku has luckily learned from his fight with Shinsou, and isn’t responding to anything he’s saying. Which is good. The Deku vs Shinsou fight was probably Deku at his dumbest, where even after being warned by Ojiro, Deku still fell for Shinsou’s ability. Now Deku was younger and a lot more naive, but now e’s able to not fall for it.

Monoma mentions how blessed people will destroy the world, and he’s not exactly wrong as someone who is gifted or has god given talents will likely change the world for better or worse, but Monoma opts to target Bakugou in this. He states that Bakugou is gifted, so gifted that in fact he got targeted by Shigaraki and ended up getting All Might to come in and lose the status of the symbol of peace.

Deku is clear irritated by this claim and attacks Monoma. However as we’ll see, Monoma might not be to far off by saying blessed people will destroy the world could apply to Deku

We cut to the other members of team Deku, with it revealed that yes, the scream wasn’t Uraraka, but Shinsou.

Mineta realizes that something’s coming as we see more nuts and bolts fly toward the group. This is actually the real Yanagi doing this, and we see Shoda is keeping track of all things in the area.

Kodai then decides to jump in and reveal that those objects have been effected by her quirk and grow bigger or smalle. Also, Kodai’s quirk is similar to Uraraka with them having to put their hands together.

Uraraka makes the objects float to avoid them doing damage, but Shoda activates his quirk which fires off the objects again. This causes the group to scatter, which joy, you saw what happened last match through that.

We now get an unload of info as we learn what their quirks are. Basically, Yanagi has telekinesis to an extent and Kodai is Ant Man. Or I guess Stature.

And Shoda... Has an OP as fuck quirk considering its range. Granted, you have to strike first to activate a second strike. I’m sad we don’t get their hero names, which was something team Tokage didn’t get either.

We cut back to All Might and Gran Torino and Gran Torino mentions to All Might that Nana had this same dream when she first inherited One for all. Even the same foggy image of the first user of One for All.

As this happens and we end the chapter, black lightning jets out of Deku’s arm as everyone watches in shock. Oooookay, where do I begin...?

So this lightning inst the same as his full cowling lightning because this actually seems to be physically manifesting and destroying part of his super hero outfit. Now the way All Might looks at this, it seems to imply he doesn’t quite understand it himself. Meaning possibly only holders like Deku and Nana who are odd numbered suffered this. Or this could just be Deku and AfO is just fucking with him. I have no answers, you could make any theory at this point. But yeah, that’s where we end. Well I can say I am very concerned and eager for next week.

Now with that said however, its time I revisit that “work harder than Bakugou” line. I don’t mind the idea of One for All having a hiccup, but the thing that bugs me is just how much this undermines Deku. This twist hurts because all throughout this arc, we’ve seen characters show off how much more stronger and plus ultra they’ve gotten. Tokoyami, Tsuyu, Todoroki, Iida, Bakugou, all got these fight to show how far they’ve come as characters. Now its Deku’s turn in the spotlight, and he’s losing control in front everyone. He;s not going to show off how competent he’s become from the start of the series, he’s now going to be seen as he was when he first joined the school, unable to control himself and destroying his limbs.

I respect that Hori doesn’t make Deku a protag who everyone is astounded by or automatically respected as a paragon of ideas, but come on, its been 200 chapters, let him show off and get some recognition. It just feels a bit like he’s being done dirty when last fight was all about how far Bakugou has come and last chapter laid on thick that Deku has truly grown. But no, cruch time he’s messing up. Now granted, this isn’t an asspull as we’ve been told One for All is acting strangely so this could’ve happened, I’m just saying I really would’ve preferred if this One for All stuff wasn’t interfering with the exercise. Now this could end with Deku ultimately winning because he’s gotten a ridiculous power boost, but still that feels cheap cause I think a lot would’ve wanted him to win on his own skill that he’s cultivated.

But who knows how Hori intends to handle this. Maybe he gets one smash out, and that’s it. Maybe he goes this entire round with this power, no clue.

Post Chapter Follow Up: Honestly this chapter felt really quick. It seemed to go so fast with a lot of info just rattled off. I’ll start with what was positive and that was definitely the character in this.

Monoma owns almost all of his scenes he’s in, as well as Uraraka taking charge after getting separated from Deku. Hell, just the little moments of Sero off to the side explaining the situation of team Deku.

I also must say, watching Bakugou and Aizawa become concerned over Deku’s power is really subtle and adds a lot of weight to the scene. Another thing is just class 1-B actually seeming like a threat, After how easily they got knocked around last round, this is a welcomed change.

If I had one thing to critique, the fight in this round is honestly pretty lack luster. It seems like a result of the pacing that it feels honestly very fast and not as focuses on as it should be. But you could say that the fight hasn’t truly started, as such it’s just laying some ground work.

It might sound as if I’m angry, with the Deku’s power going out of control, but honestly its not bad. Look I’m more concerned cause this is that moment in an arc when Hori makes everything completely batshit, and I do wanna know more about what will happen. I’m just little sad by the fact that for an arc that has shown so much growth, Deku is seemingly undermined. Now I can’t call that bad writing” as we don’t know where this’ll be going. So I’m just merely getting my opinion out there on this black lightning, but I’m not holding it against this chapter.

Final Verdict: 6/10

Little fast and little wonky

Great characterization

Nail biting ending

Not much is really done in this chapter, kinda an extension of last weeks breather more than anything

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ananke-asteria · 6 years ago

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BOTW AU: ZELDA THE HERO

BECAUSE HONESTLY IT’S THE LEGEND OF ZELDA AND IT JUST MAKES SENSE!

First of all full credit. This headcanon is inspired by many wonderful works of fan art and mods, specifically the Zelda Conversion Project, nearly all of my screenshots are from their youtube chanel. This whole idea of Zelda as the hero made me freak out because it is just steaming with potential!

I am not the first person to come up with this idea and I will be crediting all fanworks that insipired this headcanon. Please check out the links because frankly these works are amazing. I will not be reposting their work.

-Chronologically all the memories are the same upt to Memory 16: Despair. Zelda and Link are running away, tears in Zelda’s eyes as she laments that everyone she knows is dead and it’s all her fault and she breaks down into tears, that’s all the same

BUT THEN

-Memory 17: Zelda’s Awakening is where things go differently. Link is fighting against a Guardian. There is a moment where it looks like the Guardian might get the best of him and Zelda runs in front of him in a desperate bid to protect him but just as she lifts her hand up...

Link recoveres enough to get back in front of her and, with a final strike, cuts the Guardian down. There’s a moment of silence while he and Zelda catch their breath before he hears it. A voice inside the Master Sword, a voice that Zelda (and the audience) can’t hear, he turns to look at her with sadness in his eyes. Before Zelda can ask Link what’s going on two Sheika... Young Purah and Impa because honestly it should have been THEM and not some random Sheika males in that memory.

FOR REAL THO it would have made such a strong impact on the game to see Young Impa and Purah, to have a direct comparison to what they look like now in the game. That the impactof 100 years can be felt in these two characters still being alive and looking WAY different. The emotions would be so much stronger. And YOU Nintendo just gave me too random dudes when this memory so OBVIOUSLY needed young Impa and Purah considering they say that they were the ones who put Link in the shrine in the first place. Just UGH missed opprotuintiy so now its in my AU. bitterwhosebitternotme.

ANYWAY

-Purah and Impa come forward and Link tells them to protect Zelda and keep her somewhere safe. Impa tries to stop him at first, stating he is abandoning his duty to the princess before Link reveals that the Master Sword itself told him to go. Impa reluctantly lets him leave and Link gives Zelda one final glance and whispers “I’m sorry” before dashing off towards the castle. Zelda screams at him to come back, that she doesn’t understand, while Purah and Impa take her away.

-Memory 18: Wounds. As Impa, Purah and Zelda run through the woods Impa tells Zelda to trust her knight, that even if he’s leaving her he’s doing it to protect her. Zelda wipes her tears away, stating she hates it, hates that others are dying for her when she hasn’t accomplished anything. Impa gives her a knowing look and says “That is not why Link-” But Impa is cut off as the three of them get ambushed by a rogue Guardian. Before Impa can react Zelda gets gravely injured by a Guardian beam. Zelda passes out and Purah holds her in her arms as Impa quckly takes the Guardian down. Impa begins to panic before Purah suggests that the Shrine of Resurrection might just save her. Impa agrees and together they carry the girl to the shrine.

-Thanks to the “Sword that Seals the Darkness” Link is able to keep Ganon contained in the castle for 100 years.

-The game starts with Zelda waking up to a voice, soft spoken but clear in the Shrine of Resurrection.

-“Open your eyes.” The voice continues to speak. “We never spoke much in life. My fault, not yours. I thought that staying silent gave me strenght, though now...I wonder...” Credit to the aformentioned dialouge to http://a-perplexing-puzzle.tumblr.com, seriously the work is beautiful as is the quote. Check it out!

-The voice also encourages Zelda to take the Sheikah Slate and to start her journey. Zelda has lost her memories. Making her way out of the shrine she finds her old prayer dress, still covered in dirt, in one of the chests and makes her way up to the Great Plateau. Cue cinematic of a young confused princess staring at her kingdom, a kingdom she doesn’t even remember. Title drop.

-There is also amazing fanart by http://jujuthevuvu.tumblr.com/ of this moment. Go check it out!

-In the corner of her eye she sees an old man who looks familiar and thus the tutorial begins!

-The fighting mechanic is basically the same but all of the tutorial clues are in Link’s voice “Parry,” “Keep your guard up” “Use a sneak attack” stuff like that, Zelda isn’t sure who she is hearing, if it’s some sort of memory of someone teaching her to fight or there is a voice literally inside her head, either way she picks it up fast.

-The old man at the end of the tutorial brings Zelda to the Temple of Time and asks her to pray at the goddess statue, Zelda does as he asks and nothing happens…the old man sighs in disappointment but Zelda just looks confused.

-Then in a dramatic reveal the old man presents himself to be the King of Hyrule and gives Zelda the backstory of how this young knight named Link kept Ganon away for 100 years using the “Sword that Seals the Darkness.” He also explains how he is the ghost of her father and how he wished he hadn’t been so hard on her in the past, he also tells her to go seek out Impa as she was the one who put her in the shrine, and right before he fades away he tells her he loves her.

-Zelda despite not remembering him, is shown to have a single tear running down her cheek before clutching her fist and diving off the tower.

-She may not know much about this Ganon fellow but that ghost says she is a princess and that logically means she has a duty to her people. It also hurts to hear this man who says he’s her father be so sad, she doesn’t know him but she wants to make him proud.

Look at her go!

-And it’s at that moment that Zelda hears a voice in her head, it’s the quiet one from the shrine, and he only says one thing “I believe in you.”

-Zelda has no doubt that it’s Link, and feels a bit of comfort in this strange new world.

-She makes it Kakarioko village and seeks out Impa, Impa is shocked to discover Zelda has lost her memories but mumbles that perhaps its for the best as Zelda was so hard on herself 100 years ago. She tells the “Legend of Reincarnation”, “The Triforce” and how Zelda is the “Force of Wisdom” and has the power to seal Ganon away.

-Zelda asks if she has that power why didn’t she do it 100 years ago.

-Impa gets quiet for a long time and then finally states that Zelda got very injured before she had a chance to use that power.

-Zelda nods and says she’ll find a way to use this power, she just needs to remember.

-Impa smiles knowingly and agrees. “Of course you will Princess.” She then tells her to seek out the three springs of the Goddess to help her unlock her power.

-Impa also tells her to go see Purah to get her Sheikah slate upgraded.

-She also also tells her that once she has recovered her sealing power she can free the Divine Beasts and release her friends from their prison.

-To get to any of the springs Zelda must first pass a series of trials. There are encampments of monsters that test her courage, shrines and puzzles that test her wisdom and mini-bosses that test her power. When she gets to each spring and begins to pray nothing happens. However at each spring there is a memory to unlock.

-At the Spring of Courage it would be Memory 5: Zelda’s Resentment. If she finds this memory, by the place where Link would stand watching over her when she prayed. Once she prays again he gets a a third of her triforce. One triangle. With just a third of her sealing power she can now sense when Blood Moons will rise. It’ll be a menu icon that shows a mooncycle.

-At the Sprng of Wisdom, Zelda can now witness Memory 7: Blades of the Yiga. Again once she recalls this memory she can now activate another third of her triforce. She can now stun enemies with a blinding light before getting a few attacks in.

-At the Spring of Power Zelda finally recalls Memory11: Shelter from the Storm This memory makes her pause, uncertain if she should pray, if perhaps she is unworthy. But Link’s voice cuts in and states that she has come so far and accomplished so much on her own and that of course she is worthy. Reninvoigorated by his words Zelda prays again and completely unlocks her sealing power. She now has the ability to drain monsters of HP. The power is weak at first, no stronger than the Master Sword with attack damage of 30 but Zelda states that with time and practice she can make it stronger.

-Not to get all ZeLink on you but it’s Zelda’s recollection of her love of Link, the knowledge that he is proud of her and the experience of facing all these trials alone is what allows her to unlock her sealing power. Basically Zelda’s memories got taken away to give her a chance to rebuild her confidence.

-Link tells her after the final Spring that while she has unlocked her power the Master Sword is telling him that it is unfocused and that if she were to find the Great Deku Tree in the lost woods she would find something to help her channel her power.

-Link also tells Zelda that she now has the power to free the Divine Beasts and save their friends.

-If Zelda goes back to Impa she can now unlock all the other memories in the game, since she now has her sealing power reflecting on these memories won’t break her self confidence but renew her resolve to defeat Ganon.

-Finding all 19 memories will make her sealing power stronger and will make the cool down slower.

-Going to the Great Deku tree will reveal the Bow of Light trapped in the ground, it will take 13 hearts to pull it out of the ground. The bow will never break but if Zelda uses 10 light arrows (not a collectable they just come with the bow) in a row, another arrow won’t respawn until a designanted cool down time. Then she can use them again. Using the bow also raises the damage to 60 per arrow instead of 30 when she just uses the power without the bow.

(Dot Voice) Pretend it’s a bow okay?

-And at the Great Deku tree Zelda gets to see the AU version of Memory 17 and Memory 18. That’s right we’re tossing out the mechanic that the memories are tied to location, in this AU they are tied to story progression.

-Using the Bow of Light will increase her damage of sealing power and also decrease the cool down. Without the bow Zelda can use five blasts of sealing power in a row before a cool down, with the bow she can shoot 10 arrows before a cool down.

-So Zelda’s now on her way to every Divine Beast and instead of some random boss like “Fireblight Ganon” it is now the body of the champion possesed and corrupted by Ganon. This is totally based off this super cool fanart by https://roposhipin.tumblr.com/. So the emotional toll in battle is higher, Zelda has to fight through her guilt as well as shock of seeing her friends so mutilated. Also these corrupted figures use the powers of the Champions against Zelda. Basically corrupted!Revali can fly high and avoid your attack, corrupted!Daruk can block your attacks, corrupted!Mipha can heal quickly and corrupted!Urbosa can emit blasts of lightining against you. It’s hard for Zelda to fight against them but Link tells her that if she wins she will save them and that gives her the strenght to fight back. It takes a combination of Zelda’s sealing power, fighting prowess and words of FRIENDSHIP to break through.

-Stuff like “I’m sorry I let you die.” “Your father is so proud of you.” “You were the best warrior in your village.” “You are stronger than this.” Basically, WEAPONIZED EMPATHY and closure all wrapped into a cool battle.

-At the end of each sequence Zelda apologizes for letting them die and wants them all to know that she will defeat Ganon. Each champion presents their gift and says something along the line of being glad that Zelda helped them be free.

-And the final fight at Hyrule castle aka ZELDA TAKING BACK HER HOME!

Get out of my house!

-Zelda fights Ganon using her weapons, the help from the Divine Beasts, and her sealing power, either raw or concentrated with light arrows. During the Dark Beast Portion, Link appears before her with the sword to seal the darkness. He looks around confused and Zelda is about to speak, “Link! I-” when Dark Beast Ganon appears. Sharing a nod of determination they both get on the same horse and as Link cuts holes in the beats’s defenses with the master sword Zelda fires arrows into those hoes to seal it away, you have to avoid the beast blasting you but eventually together with Link, Zelda seals Ganon away.

And stay out!

-The final cinematic is Link saying “I’m so proud of you” goes to bow “My Queen.” And then Zelda with happy tears in her eyes runs towards him and throws herself into a hug, both of them falling to the ground.

-Final post credit scene, Zelda asks Link what the sword said to him that made him face Ganon in the castle. Link is hesitant but eventually says, “The sword knew you could never unlock your sealing power when you felt that you were in my shadow, never living up to your potential the way I had. It said that I had to leave and trust you to survive on your own in order for you to gain access to your sealing power.” Link looks away from her and then back again. “Leaving you that day was the hardest think I’ve ever done but I’m glad I did for I got to see your journey and see you flourish and grow into the great Queen I always knew you could be.”

-Zelda smiles with tears in her eyes and then shakes her head and says “Thank you.”

-They make their way to Vah Ruta, it’s not working and the credits fade to black.

-And yeah the rest of the game is pretty much the same, it’s about Zelda’s arch of redemption, exploring her kingdom, helping her people with side quests and training herself to fight Ganon and become the Queen she was always meant to be.

This is my kingdom and I shall defend it!

-Oh and because I know some of you will ask instead of an elaborate trick to get into Gerudo Town, Zelda has to dress up in that thick Flame Breaker armor and do a side mission with some of the young Gorons and pretending to be a “brother” in order to find Yunobo and begin the Vah Rudania quest.

#loz #legend of zelda #botw #breath of the wild #legend of zelda: breath of the wild #zelda #link #zelink #botw au #zelda conversion project #zelda mod #urbosa #mipha #daruk #reavali #impa #purah #my aus #my meta

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preserving-ferretbrain · 6 years ago

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapters 13-23

by Dan H

Wednesday, 01 August 2007In which Dan continues to self-harm with the final Harry Potter book.

Previously: I'm doing a chapter-by-chapter reaction to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

So far we've had a wedding, Harry has sat in Grimmauld place doing nothing and ... umm ... that's it.

Chapter Thirteen: The Muggle-Born Registration Commission

In which we have yet more of the Ministry pretending to be Nazis.

Let's face it: Harry Potter is an RPG with a crappy GM. This would explain why the Troika spend this chapter, and the next couple, acting like a stereotypical bunch of clueless player characters.

They've got into the Ministry, and they've realised that they have no fucking clue what to do once they get in, so they bugger about stumbling into subplots, and wind up having to fight their way out.

They also get the Horcrux, and rescue a bunch of people from the Muggle-Born Registration Commission.

It strikes me, incidentally, that much as I hate the chapters in which nothing happens at all, the chapters in which things actually do happen are in many ways worse. At least the event-free chapters have an excuse for being as boring as all hell. This chapter, which includes Dementors, show trials, and a running battle in the Ministry, is so tedious I can't even find a noteworthy quote.

I'll leave you with this, then, from Harry's brief glimpse at a copy of The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore (okay, we get it, there's Dumbledore backplot, please stop now).

The boy who roared in silent amusement beside Dumbledore had a gleeful, wild look about him. His golden hair fell in curls to his shoulders.

I quote this not because I have anything to say about it, but so that you can join me in my disbelief when next chapter Harry has a vision of a familiar looking blonde man with a gleeful wild look, and hasn't got a clue where he's seen him before.

Chapter Fourteen: The Thief

In which the Potterites hide in a tent.

Our intrepid heroes can't go back to Grimmauld Place, because somebody was holding on to Hermione when she Apparated, and we all know that when you hold on to somebody who's teleporting, you teleport with them. It's, like, the rules.

So they go and sit in a tent. A magic tent. In some woods. And the realise that they don't know how to destroy the Horcrux. So tell us something we don't know.

Very, very little happens in this chapter. Most of it is taken up with Harry having a vision of Lord Voldemort finally killing that wand-maker he's been hunting down. Harry expresses surprise that Voldemort didn't grill the guy for wand-lore first. Because once again Harry Potter readers are too dumb to decide for themselves how they should react to plot twists and revelations.

Voldemort is looking for something, and he thinks Gregorovitch has it, but he doesn't because it was stolen from him. In a shocking display of convenience, Harry manages not only to read Voldemort's mind, but also the mind of the wandmaker, which presumably Voldemort was reading when their connection was open. So he gets a good look at the "thief".

Harry could still see the blond-haired youth's face, it was merry, wild.

Harry thinks it sounds familiar, but can't think from where.

Clue: it begins with "P" and ends with "Revious Chapter".

Chapter Fifteen: The Goblin's Revenge

In which we get yet another plot dump from some highly convenient Goblins.

Another thing you have to love about JK Rowling is the fact that she's not afraid to overhype her chapter titles. We constantly wind up with titles like "The Massively Significant Thing That Happens In A Huge And Important Way" and wind up with some guy breaking his spectacles. A fine example of this phenomenon was, of course, the first chapter of this very book: "The Dark Lord Ascending".

Indeed, one might almost suggest that the best way to appreciate JK Rolwing is to take her chapter titles and imagine for yourself what actually happens in them. Hmm ... I wonder if any fanfic communities have tried that: re-imagine Potter based only on the chapter headings.

I'm digressing again, but since this chapter is yet another useless waste of space with the protagonists sitting in a tent, I don't feel too bad about that.

Anyway, this chapter is called "The Goblin's Revenge" but could more accurately be called "The Goblin Didn't Mention That The Sword of Gryffindor That Got Put Into Gringotts Was Actually A Fake When He Possibly Could Have." As revenge goes, that's pretty lame.

So the Potteristas, safely ensconced in the Tent of Magically Protected Arse Sitting overhear Ted Tonks and a couple of Gringotts Goblins having a long, laboured discussion in which they painstakingly explain whatever bits of the plot Harry needs to know about next.

Which leads to this awful expository conversation between the Potteroids:

"The sword can destroy Horcruxes! Goblin-made blades imbibe only that which strengthens them - Harry, that sword's impregnated with Basilisk venom!" "Dumbledore didn't give it to me because he still needed it, he wanted to use it on the locket -" "- and he must have realised they wouldn't let you have it if he put it in his will -" "- so he made a copy -" "- and put a fake in the glass case -" "- and put the real one ... where?"

Okay, fine, so you've answered the "Why didn't Dumbeldore give them all this shit earlier" question, and guess what: it's a stupid answer. Why not say "Harry, in case anything happens to me, I want you to take the sword of Gryffindor. Keep it safe, because it can destroy Horcruxes on account of how it's impregnated with Basilisk venom. By the way, we'll need it to destroy that locket we're going after."

Furthermore, the whole reason for the sword being able to destroy Horcruxes rubs me up the wrong way. It's an artefact of one of the founders of Hogwarts: it's a puissant magical weapon of ancient goblin craftsmanship. Do we really need that tat about its being "impregnated with basilisk venom"? Hell, do we really need basilisk venom to be the thing that destroys Horcruxes.

I'm not saying it doesn't make sense, but it makes the wrong kind of sense. It makes the kind of juvenile sense you get amongst seventeen year old roleplayers who will argue your leg off about how a vampire's clothes should reflect in a mirror, even if the vampire doesn't. The Sword can't destroy the Horcruxes because it's a Symbolic Ultimate Good to defeat their Symbolic Ultimate Evil. It can destroy Horcruxes because it's soaked in Horcrux Destroying Juice. This presumably is manufactured by the same people who made the Dumbledore Killing Juice that featured in the final chapters of book six.

In the next part of the chapter, Ron scores major points with me, as he assumes the mantle of Voice of the Reader, and points out what a hopelessly, stupidly, unbearably pointless situation they are now in. They have one Horcrux, they have no idea where the others are. They found out purely by chance that the Sword of Gryffindor can destroy Horcruxes, but they don't know where it is or how to get it. In short, the only thing they can do is sit around like morons hoping to get a lucky break.

I always hate it when this sort of thing happens. You had exactly the same situation in the seventh season of Buffy. The Hero clearly hasn't got a fucking clue what they are doing, and one of their companions finally snaps (often as a result of having seen half their friends die, or having been forced to hide in a tent eating wild mushrooms as a result of the hero's blatant incompetence) and calls them on it. Then the hero is all "you've got to have faith, you've got to believe in what we're doing!" and the friend is all "but this is completely and totally stupid, the only hope we have is to be saved by authorial fiat." And then the hero says "well if you feel like that you'd better leave", then the friend leaves. Then authorial fiat comes along and presents the hero with all the answers which they were manifestly incapable of acquiring of their own accord, and the friend has to slink back and admit that the hero was right all along.

It's awful, and it's always awful. It's bad writers trying to excuse bad writing by pretending that their failure to give their characters adequate motivation to undertake a course of action is really their character having Faith in something Greater Than Themselves.

So Ron Disapparates out of the Tent Of Pointlessness, and I sincerely wish I could go with him.

Chapter Sixteen: Godric's Hollow

In which Potter very briefly gets off his arse.

Ron has left. Harry is all cut up about this. Hermione is even more cut up about it because she is worried that if he doesn't get back they won't be able to get married and give their children stupid names.

Early on in this chapter, I had to wonder whether JK was actually taking the piss, when I stumbled across the following:

He was staggered, now, to think of his own presumption in accepting his friends' offers to accompany him on this meandering, pointless journey.

I mean, seriously. That's a joke, right. That's JK Rowling tacitly admitting that the first two hundred and fifty seven pages of her book have been a complete waste of everybody's time and energy.

Finally, they seize on the nearest thing they have to a clue, which is to go to Godric's Hollow in the hope that they can meet somebody who can point them in the right direction.

They spend approximately a month planning this little jaunt, collecting the hair of random strangers so that they can Polyjuice themselves again, and learning to Apparate together under the invisibility cloak. Much as I appreciate these little details, I'd be completely happy to take them as read.

So they piffle around looking at graves, and we finally get to see where James and Lily are buried. There's also an honest-to-God Potter statue in the middle of the square, and we find that the former Potter residence has been preserved as a shrine for all eternity so that nobody forgets what happened there.

I really wanted to find those scenes touching. Honestly I did. But it's book seven for crying out loud, and Harry has only just gone back to Godric's Hollow? On top of this, the whole thing contributes to the massively mixed messages we get about the Wizarding World's attitude towards Harry. We've spent the past three books having pretty much the whole of wizarding society shun Harry on a variety of ropey pretexts (the latest being "the Daily Prophet says he killed Dumbledore"), so to have this vast memorial to his triumph and his parents' sacrifice is actually rather jarring.

Anyway, the ... well Duo, I suppose they are now ... dick around in Godric's hollow for a bit. In the next chapter they meet Bathilda Bagshot.

Chapter Seventeen: Bathilda's Secret

In which we find out no information of any importance.

The title of this chapter is "Bathilda's Secret". Now I had vainly hoped that "Bathilda's Secret" would be some of this goddamned Dumbledore backplot which JK has been waving in my face for the past two hundred and seventy pages. No such luck.

Bathilda's Secret, in case you were wondering is "she's dead, and there's a gigantic fucking snake living in her animated corpse."

There's actually precious little to say about this chapter. H&H meet Bathilda Bagshot, she acts really, really, really creepy. Like she's an animated corpse with a giant snake inside her, in fact. She lures them into her home, which smells of piss and dead women with snakes inside them. Then she lures Harry upstairs, where she turns into Nagini and tries to kill him.

Or rather, not to kill him, but to hold him until Voldemort shows up, so that the Dark Lord can kill him personally.

I'm going to go off on another tangent now, and rant for a bit about how utterly fucking annoying this is. Voldemort would have won his war in eight seconds flat, bent the Wizarding world to his will, triumphed over all resistance, danced on the grave of Albus Dumbledore, achieved immortality and subjugated mugglekind with ease if he had just been willing to let go of the whole "I have to be the one to kill Harry Potter" thing.

I wouldn't mind so much, but there is absolutely no reason given for Voldemort's stubborn insistence that he "has to be the one" to kill Potter or, for that matter, Potter's stubborn insistence that he "has to be the one" to defeat Voldemort. Everybody just seems to take it for granted that only Harry can beat Voldemort, only Voldemort can beat Harry. And I know that there's the "prophecy" but for fuck's sake. Prophecies are cool when people hear them, set out to defy them, and fail. They are not cool when people hear the prophecy and say: "Oh my god! A Prophecy! I must immediately and unthinkingly do exactly what it says! Which also just happens to be the thing which most directly furthers the hackneyed plot of the quest the author has decided I'm supposed to be on."

Voldemort gets closer, and Harry starts seeing into his mind again, but now Voldemort is reliving his murder of Harry's parents. This flashback takes three pages and tells us literally nothing that we do not already know. It does, however, give us some insights into Voldemort's mono-dimensional non-personality, with lines like:

...how stupid they were, and how trusting, thinking that their secret lay in friends, that weapons could be discarded even for moments...

Do you see. Because Voldemort can't understand love. Because he's completely incapable of any human feeling whatsoever. Another thing that hacks me off about Voldemort is the fact that JK seems on the one hand to want us to view him as something utterly inhuman, a creature devoid of compassion or emotion, a heartless monster that kills at random, but on the other hand wants us to view him as somehow similar to Harry, the hero with whom we are supposed to sympathise. She shows us that he and Harry have vaguely similar personal histories, that they are connected on a variety of levels, and keeps having Dumbledore say things like "It is our choices, Harry, which define us". But Voldemort never makes a "choice" to do evil, or at least not a meaningful choice. Voldemort does evil because if he did not, there would be no book. He walks on stage a psychopath, and he dies a psychopath. His actions gain him nothing, and cost him everything. He plays the villain because Rowling wants him to. He has no personality, no identity, no goals beyond those dictated by the plot. All the effort Rowling puts into "developing" his "character" in books six and seven only highlights this fact.

So Voldemort shows up and fails to kill Harry Potter. Again.

Shoot me. Shoot me now.

Chapter Eighteen: The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

In which we are expected to give a shit about Dumbledore's lame-ass backstory.

While Godric's Hollow turned out to be a bust, Hermione did manage to swipe a copy of The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore, Rita-Skeeter's tell-all biography of the lovable old plot device.

Blah blah dark past blah blah Grindelwald blah blah world conquest blah blah greater good.

Long story short: Dumbledore spent approximately three months on good terms with the Dark Wizard Grindelwald, during which time they concocted some typically teenage plans about how it would ... like ... be totally radical if ... like ... Wizards took over the world because ... like ... look at how fake and commercial everything was. Or something. It's cheap and unconvincing and really not that shocking at all. It's sort of like discovering that Churchill once met Hitler at a party in 1921.

What makes all of this even more risible is the timeline involved. According to the information provided by JK Rowling, Dumbledore is about 150 when the books take place. Given that he met Grindelwald when they were both eighteen, this puts their Summer O' Evil at around eighteen fifty-something. Dumbledore, of course, eventually defeated Grindelwald in nineteen forty-five. Nearly a hundred years later. Either Grindelwald was in power for a really long time, or else he didn't come to power for nearly a century after he met old Albus. Either way, it seems a bit pointless to hold Dumbledore responsible for the actions taken in 1940 by a man he met in 1860.

Harry, of course goes off the deep end, and Hermione, of course, tries to point out that things aren't as awful as they seem.

"He changed, Harry, he changed! It's as simple as that! Maybe he did believe those things when he was seventeen, but the whole of the rest of his life was devoted to fighting the Dark Arts!"

Harry doesn't seem to be able to get his head around this idea, and for once I can't entirely blame him for it. After all, there isn't one single character in the entire Harry Potter series who has shown any meaningful development between their arrival at Hogwarts and their death. Riddle was always a psycho, Sirius was always a wild card, Lily was always an angel and so on. So Harry can, in fact, be entirely forgiven for assuming that Dumbledore's personality was set in stone by the age of eighteen.

I wish I could say that we had now finally got the Dumbledore backstory out of the way. But no.

Chapter Nineteen: The Silver Doe

In which it turns out that Ron's attack of sanity was really black magic.

For some reason, we are supposed to associate the "Silver Doe" with Lily Potter. I'm not sure why. Okay, so James was a stag. Does Lily have no identity of her own?

Oh wait. Never mind then.

Anyway, Harry and Hermione are still sitting in the Procrastination Tent. Harry, keeping watch, thinks he hears something outside. Then he catches a glimpse of the Silver Doe of the title, and decides to dash off into the dark after it.

Now even JK Rowling, who usually doesn't bother to justify her characters' moronic decisions, seems to have realised that dashing out into the night, away from their magically protected tent and into an unknown darkness where absolutely anything could be waiting for them, so she gives us another one of her trademark "no this totally makes sense" lines:

Caution murmured: it could be a trick, a lure, a trap. But instinct, overwhelming instinct, told him that this was not Dark Magic.

So that's okay then. If you know something might be a trap, it's okay to walk blindly into it.

The Silver Doe (which we are supposed to associate with Lily Potter because she was nothing more than James Potter's woman) leads Harry to a lake, which has the Sword of Gryffindor at the bottom. I shit you not.

I've seen people on the internet actually praising Rowling for the "symbolism" of this scene. Newsflash kids: ripping scenes off from famous myths isn't symbolism, it's just lazy. It's a sword in a lake, which is only there because somebody sent it to Harry, because the little fucktard would otherwise be completely incapable of destroying any of the damned Horcruxes.

So Harry takes off all of his clothes and dives into the frozen lake, but the Horcrux around his neck tries to strangle him (which it should really have done earlier, thinking about it). He is rescued by the timely re-arrival of Ron, who saves Harry, retrieves the Sword of Gryffindor, and then explains that he was only making consistent, cogent points about how completely fucked they all were, and how Harry didn't know what the hell he was doing, because the Horcrux was doing a One Ring on him.

So they're all reconciled, and Harry tells Ron that he is supposed to be the one to destroy the locket. Seriously, everybody in this entire book should just get the hell over all the "supposed to be" shit. Voldemort won't let his minions kill Harry, because he's "supposed" to do it, Harry can't ask for help defeating Voldemort because he's "supposed" to do it himself, and now apparently Ron is "supposed" to destroy the locket. What. The. Fuck?

So Harry opens the locket by speaking Parseltongue, and in one of the book's three moments of almost possessing merit, we see that Tom Riddle's original eyes are staring out of the two halves of the locket (I like to think that the Cup of Helga Hufflepuff contains his original nose).

Then the locket starts pulling a bunch of annoying "Hermione doesn't love you" shit to freak Ron out, which would be somewhat more effective if JK Rowling had made Ron/Hermione (or indeed any romantic relationship, or indeed any relationship at all) remotely convincing. Ron stabs the locket in they eyes, and they all go home.

They get back to the Inactivity Tent, and Hermione's all like "Ron, you absolute bastard, I'm going to kick the shit out of you and then bang your brains out." Then Ron explains that he managed to find them because the Deluminator, as well as being able to switch lights out, also lets you find your way back to your friends after you ditch them in the middle of their epic quest.

Say it with me now: What the fuck?

You see, it's shit like this that led a small number of people to believe that Dumbledore had to be from the future. I mean foresight is one thing, but are you seriously telling me that when he created the Deluminator, however many decades ago that was, he thought to himself "hey, I'd better install a 'be able to find your way back to your friends for no readily explicable reason' function as well, because one day in the next century, three young wizards might be on a quest to destroy Voldemort's Horcruxes, and one of them might leave, and need to find his way back."

And it's shit like this that makes me really hate JKR's attempt to make Dumbledore into a "complex" character in this book. You simply can't have it both ways. Either he's a real human person who makes mistakes, or he's the infallible plot god who is so wise, so possessed of absolute foresight, that he manages to predict correctly that Ron will fall under the influence of the Locket Horcrux, leave the quest, want to return, and be unable to do so because Harry and Hermione are travelling the country in a magically protected tent.

Seriously, if the guy is smart enough to do that, why the hell wasn't he smart enough to - say - track down Voldemort's Horcruxes during the ten years in which he was incorporeal, or to twig much sooner that Grindelwald was probably evil, or to not get horribly cursed trying to use the Resurrection Stone (of which more later).

Dumbledore is infallible when he needs to do something amazing to advance the plot, but All Too Human when Rowling wants to impress us with how layered and complex her characters are.

I've used the phrase "fucking hack" before, haven't I.

Chapter Twenty: Xenophilius Lovegood

In which we miss Luna Lovegood like crazy.

Here Hermione basically turns into a D&D player again, and spins out a line of logic which boils down to "hey, when we were at the wedding, the GM told us that Xenophilius Lovegood was wearing this symbol on his chest. He wouldn't have told us that if it wasn't important, right, we should totally go investigate this Xeno guy."

So they do.

They arrive at Chez Lovegood, and Ron is all "oh no, I am near my home but am not going there" and Harry is all "oh no, I am near Ginny but have no chance of getting a decent blow job".

It takes them fucking ages to ask Xenophilus about the symbol on his chest, and then Rowling does that gimmicky "end the chapter on the sentence you should probably have started the damned thing on" trick with:

"Are you referring to the sign of the Deathly Hallows?"

We're on page 328. For comparative purposes, the original Philosopher's Stone (UK Edition) ended on page 223, Chamber of Secrets on 251, and Prisoner of Azkaban on page 317. So you could read the whole of the first book and half of the second in the time it's taken us to get to the goddamned title of this one.

Chapter Twenty-One: The Tale of the Three Brothers

In which JK apes fairy-tales and fails.

So there are these three brothers who meet Death, and he offers each of them a gift, but really he's trying to fuck them over. So the first one asks for an unbeatable wand, and gets himself killed. The second one asks for a stone that can raise the dead, and drives himself to suicide. The third one, realising that Death is probably a fuck, asks for a way to get the hell out of there without Death following him, so he gets an invisibility cloak.

That's the story of the three brothers, and the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone, and the Invisibility Cloak together comprise the Deathly Hallows. Which is a stupid, stupid, stupid name for them. I mean seriously: "Hallows"? It's almost as bad as the "younglings" in Revenge of the Sith.

So anyway, Harry is all "these things totally exist, we should totally ditch our current quest to go look for them" and Hermione is all "these things totally don't exist, we should totally not ditch our current quest to go look for them" and Ron is all "these things might or might not exist, and I don't know whether we should ditch our current quest to go look for them or not."

Bets on the Hallows being real, everybody?

Anyway, the story of the Three Brothers is quite nice stylistically, but the actual content bugs me. As ever, my new favourite character Ron says it best:

"Nah, that story's just one of those things you tell kids to teach them lessons, isn't it? 'Don't go looking for trouble, don't pick fights, don't go messing around with stuff that's best left alone! Just keep your head down and mind your own business and you'll be OK."

In the "Tale of the Three Brothers," the ones who wind up dead are the ones who try to actually achieve something with their "Hallows". The last brother, the one who makes it through, the one we are supposed to admire, is the one who spends his entire life sitting under an invisibility cloak doing nothing.

I've already pointed out how passive Harry is, how he just reacts to things, how he doesn't have a consistent plan. I've complained about the fact that he's basically spent this entire book sitting in a tent doing nothing, but it becomes increasingly apparent through the book that JK Rowling views inactivity as a virtue and ambition as a sin. The implied morality of all this makes me genuinely uncomfortable, but I think I'll come back to that after I've finished the main article.

Anyway, having had the plot dump, it transpires that the Death Eaters have captured Luna, and that her father has bargained Potter to them for her return. Everybody panics, but our happy band manage to escape because - as Xeno seems to have failed to realise - they can fucking teleport.

The final thing I want to mention in this chapter touches on JK Rowling's dubious morality once again.

During the getaway, they make a big thing about how Hermione puts Ron under the invisibility cloak, not Harry. The idea here is that she wants the Death Eaters to see that Harry really was there, so that they don't think Xeno Lovegood was betraying them.

That's actually really nice, but it's spoiled by this little sequence:

Xenophilius' paper-white face appeared over the top of the sideboard. "Obliviate!" cried Hermione.

So she's gone to all that trouble to stop the Death Eaters hurting him, only to erase his brain anyway. Nice.

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Deathly Hallows

In which we are: Still. Sitting. In. A. Fucking. Tent.

Abso-fucking-lutely nothing-at-fucking-all happens in this chapter.

Seriously.

Harry gets obsessed with the Hallows, he realises that Voldemort is probably after the Elder wand, and they listen to a completely pointless radio broadcast.

They have no plan, no idea what to do or where to go.

Gee, wouldn't it be convenient if they got captured so that the Death Eaters could accidentally let slip the location of one of the Horcruxes.

What's that you say, JK? Harry said Voldemort's name, even though he knows that it will bring the wrath of the Dark Lord down upon him? And they've been captured? And they're going to Malfoy Manor?

No shit.

Chapter Twenty-Three: Malfoy Manor

In which Harry survives by dumb luck yet again.

So after Harry totally fucked up for about the millionth time in his career, and the Trio get captured by a band of "snatchers", one of which is Fenrir Greyback.

Hermione, in a flash of competence otherwise unheard of in this series, blasts Harry with a spell to make his face swell up so the Snatchers won't recognise him. Shame about that massively distinctive scar really, isn't it.

Incidentally, part of me wonders why the Voldemort-Taboo spell, supposedly implemented by Death Eater Central, is alerting random bands of snatchers instead of genuine Death Eaters. Fenrir might wear the robes, but he isn't allowed the Mark, because he's a filthy half-breed, so they have to haul Harry and Co back to Malfoy Manor in order to deliver him to the Dark Lord personally. Of course the Dark Lord isn't there, he's in - like - Albania or somewhere looking for the Elder Wang.

So our heroes, such as they are, get taken back to Malfoy Manor, and introduced to the Malfoy family, in the various persons of Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Draco (who shows a rather touching moment of being not-totally-evil when he is reluctant to formally identify Team Potter).

Bellatrix - again proving herself to be the only Death Eater with half a brain or any balls - recognises the Sword of Gryffindor, which she of course believes to be still in her family Vault. She totally freaks out at this, and thereby tips off Harry to the possibility of one of the other Horcruxes being in the vault. This is actually well done. Bellatrix reacts reasonably and sensibly, and Harry draws a logical conclusion, without having somebody else spell things out for him.

Anyway, Bellatrix decides to torture Hermione to find out what the Potterites know (again, the only Death Eater with any balls or half a brain), then she throws Harry into the World's Most Pathetic Dungeon.

In the World's Most Pathetic Dungeon we find Luna, Ollivander, and some other minor characters who I'm too bored to mention right now. Harry is tied up, but fortunately they have an old piece of nail, which makes short work of any pesky ropes you might happen to have lying around.

So while Hermione is being tortured (incidentally: bets on this hideous torment having any influence on her personality whatsoever? Bingo) Harry escapes his bonds through Luna's broken-nail-fu. He digs through the mokeskin bag which Hagrid gave him (it was a birthday present, nobody can take things out of it except the owner. Why nobody just took it off him I don't know). Fortunately, he remembered to pack the sliver of broken glass from that mirror thing that Sirius gave him. Good thing that. He has a flash of Dumbledore's eye, and calls for help.

He's a man of action, that Harry Potter.

So Dobby the house-elf shows up to rescue him. It really is a fucking curtain-call isn't it. Dobby Appartes out with Luna, Ollivander, and some other minor character, but the commotion caused by all this has attracted the attention of the Death Eaters, who send Peter Pettigrew (who for some reason everybody now calls by his boyhood nickname of "Wormtail") down to investigate).

Ron and Harry jump Pettigrew, who fights back like a good'un, using his Evil Silver Hand to throttle the life out of Harry. Harry reminds Peter that he (Harry) saved his (Pettigrew's) life back in book three, and wasn't it time for some payback. So, in a sequence that makes no sense, Wormtail's silver hand releases Harry, and then turns on its owner, choking him to death. Now I think the implication here is that the Silver Hand, being Totally Evil, was punishing Pettigrew for showing mercy, but that seems a little harsh, since the Death Eaters are all under explicit instructions not to kill Potter anyway.

So Ron and Harry burst upstairs to rescue Hermione. The battle goes exactly the same way as every other fight between hardened Dark Wizards and underage schoolchildren.

During this scuffle, Harry yanks a bunch of wands out of Draco's hand. This is an act of Profound Mystical Significance, for reasons which will be explained later.

Anyway, they fight, they bite, they fight they fight they bite, and then Dobby shows up for the final rescue. Now he should have been able to manage that in about eight seconds flat. He's a house elf, he can teleport even inside Hogwarts. He's got magic the like of which the Death Eaters cannot comprehend.

But this is the final book, and JK Rowling is a serious author who is sending a real message about death and the importance of being a passive whiny bitch, so of course Dobby can't do that. Instead he has to stand around making a speech for exactly long enough for Bellatrix to shove her dagger through his skinny little chest.

This would have been kind of touching, but seriously, all Dobby had to do was to get in, get out, and not bother with the big "you must not hurt Harry Potter" routine and he would have been fine.

So Dobby dies. His actual death is one of the most godawfully crappy bits of writing I've read since, well, since last chapter I suppose.

The elf's eyes found him, and his lips trembled with the effort to form words. "Harry ... Potter ..." And then with a little shudder the elf became quite still, and his eyes were nothing more than great, glassy orbs sprinkled with light from the stars they could not see.

Get your Great Glassy Orbs off me you damn dirty house elf!

On a side note, deaths so far: Charity Burbage, Hedwig, Mad-Eye, Dobby, Ted Tonks.

So of five fatalities, that's two completely unimportant characters, and three utter cheap shots. Way to go you cold, callous killer you.

Next: The exciting conclusion. The fucking awful epilogue.

Themes:

J.K. Rowling

Books

Young Adult / Children

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Arthur B

at 15:03 on 2007-08-01She's gone on record as saying that the fairy tale is based on the Pardoner's Tale, hasn't she?

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http://carojen.livejournal.com/

at 16:42 on 2009-07-10I agree with most of what you have written; pointing out the few instances of good writing really makes the rest look bad in comparision.

it becomes increasingly apparent through the book that JK Rowling views inactivity as a virtue and ambition as a sin.

Not to mention that it is Slytherin, the house of _ambition_, that is portrayed as evil throughout the series. At least she doesn't give us conflicting messages. :meh

By the way, Dumbledore was born in 1881, according to Word of God, but that revelation was probably after this was written.

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Dan H

at 22:51 on 2009-07-10At time of writing, I'm pretty sure the WoG on Dumbledore's age was "about a hundred and fifty".

Assuming he was hanging out with Grindelwald in his school days, that still puts his Nazi era more than a hundred years before the present day of the Potterverse, and a clear forty-year gap between the Grindelwald Reich and the Summer of Evil.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/tjLTVHEducFb4rKDHU5DukBHtQcCbTVMEEq55v0CxV4-#5e156

at 20:24 on 2009-07-29Very good idea about fanfiction challenges, especially with regards to chapter one. Why does JKR through Ron draw meticulous attention to how badly written the book is? I suppose because her fortune had already been made. And she does send out some massively mixed messages doesn't she? So it's OK by her to zombify your parents and friend's parents without a second thought...

#Ferretbrain #Harry Potter #Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows #J.K. Rowling #Dan H

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killscreencinema · 6 years ago

Text

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (DOS)

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Ever since I was a kid I’ve been a huge fan of Carmen Sandiego. I watched the game show obsessively and even dreamed of being on it someday... despite not knowning jack all about geography. I didn’t say I’d do well on the show, just that I wanted to be on it. What was so neat about the game show is that every episode was an immersive narrative for the contestants to play out, as opposed to just a straight up question/answer game show, and sometimes the story ended in abject failure, with the criminal getting away and a stern rebuke from the Chief. Other times it ended in a clean sweep, with the contestant not only rounding up the thief but Carmen Sandiego herself! Those moments seemed so rare it really felt like a triumphant victory!

Funny thing is, despite loving the shit out of the show, and the animated series Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego, I had never played the games! The closest I had come was my aunt buying me every Carmen Sandiego book in existence, which were like choose your own adventure books, and I devoured them all. It’s hard to say what the mystique and draw of these were because the games and even the books, for the most part, were utterly deficient in plot or character development. Maybe that’s what made it so fascinating - who WAS this mysterious femme fatale who has the gall to pull off such incredible feats of thievery like stealing the Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty??? Also, why does she look so sexy in the red trenchcoat and fedora???

It’s at this point I should... ah.. probably mention I was going through puberty during my Sandiego craze...

My parents caught on to my love of all things Sandiego and bought me Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego for SNES, the first of the actual games I ever played, but that... left kind of a dull taste in my mouth, for many of the same reasons that the original game did when I played it recently. I’m sure I’ll discuss Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego in more detail in the future, but for now...

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? was developed for DOS by Broderbund in 1985! Yowza, Carmen Sandiego always felt like such a 90s pop culture thing it’s hard to believe it was around since the mid-80s. In the game you plays as an Interpol agent (before the introduction of the ACME Detective Agency) and the goal is to track down the various members of V.I.L.E., a criminal organization ransacking the world of its treasures. As you methodically dissemble V.I.L.E., you rise through the ranks of Interpol, before finally chasing the ringleader and world famous villain herself - Carmen Sandiego!

The way you go about solving cases is jetting to the last known whereabouts of the thief and gathering clues on not only their next destination but their appearance and hobbies so you can narrow down who you’re after and obtain a warrant. If you catch up with the criminal without an arrest warrant, you lose! The dossier comes off more like a Tinder profile than a criminal record:

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Brown

Hobbies: Tennis

Food: Pizza

Ohh, lemme swipe right on this one and get ~THE WARRANT~!

You also have a week to solve the case and if you take too long, you lose! This occurs if you travel to the wrong location or spend too much time on the Crime Computer fine tuning the dossier of whomever you’re after.

Anyway, so you just do this over and over and over... and over, until catching Carmen, and the game is finished. That’s pretty much all there is to it. So it’s monotonous to say the least, and once the nostalgia goggles come off, it gets boring fast. It doesn’t help that none of the criminals you’re after, or even Carme herself, is visually distinct. They are all represented as a generic, trenchcoat and fedora wearing baddie, like the dude in the Neighborhood Watch signs:

It’s disappointing to say the least when you finally catch Carmen Sandiego, and it’s just the same sexually ambiguous trenchcoat character as everyone else. They couldn’t even bother palette swapping for a red trenchcoat to set her apart? Being rewarded with a brief animation of different criminals going down is a nice reward for otherwise redundant gameplay is all I’m saying, but perhaps that’s too much memory for a DOS game to handle.

Also it’s worth remembering this was a children’s educational game from 1985, with the goal of teaching geography and a little bit of world history. To that end, the game does an okay job, forcing one to sometimes actively research these countries to figure out the clue. It’s difficult to say if the forces one to use rote memorization, which is therefor useless as a teaching tool in my opinion, or if the game actively engages the brain in learning about these different cultures. Either way, I’d be wiling to bet I learned more about geography by watching the game show than in school, so there’s something to say for that (and it’s probably not very favorable as far as the quality of public education goes).

Anyway, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? is a pretty quick and easy game to burn through if you’re curious for some nostalgic edutainment, but it gets old fast. You can even play it for free right here in the DOS online archive:

https://archive.org/details/msdos_Where_in_the_World_is_Carmen_Sandiego_1985

#where in the world is carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego #retro #nostalgia #dos #pc #gaming #educational games #geography #broderbund

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thebibliomancer · 7 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #173: Threshold of Oblivion!

July, 1978

What the heck is up with Hercules’ shoes.

Oh also I guess Yellowjacket, Black Widow and Hercules are going to get kirby krackled? Maybe to death but considering the recent trend, its more likely that they’re going to get disappeared.

And though he has vanished, stern Vision is still with us in our hearts and also in the logo and in a picture in the background.

So last time: quite a bit of things. We’re in the middle of a saga so plot points are piling up. The Avengers met up with the future raccoon-less Guardians of the Galaxy who were afraid a cyborg named Korvac was going to kill Vance Astro when he was just a kid. So they’ve set up shop watching him. Meanwhile, Korvac has far grander plans like marrying a supermodel and chilling in short shorts in Forest Hills. He still killed but then resurrected Starhawk when the one who knows found him.

The Avengers have also been dealing with some disappearances. At first it was just people nobody would miss like Two-Gun Kid and Quicksilver but then beloved characters like Vision, Captain America, and Jocasta have vanished as well.

On top of all that nonsense Peter Henry Gyrich has taken away the Avengers priority status with the US government because of their shitty security. When it rains, it pours. And then it floods because you have consistently failed to plan for flooding in one-hundred and seventy-two issues of precipitation. Which is to say that in a large way the Avengers brought this on themselves and needed this kick in the ass.

But the most immediate threat is the vanishing Avengers so that’s where we start. With Iron Man assembling the best of the what’s left to try to figure this out.

And by best I mean the Whizzer, Captain Marvel, and Black Panther. Two out of three ain’t bad.

But more help is on the way. Black Widow and Hercules arrive in New York via commercial airline (did they not repair the Champscraft after Iron Man broke it?). Black Widow and Hercules are Avengers adjacent characters so were called in by Yellowjacket and the Wasp.

Hercules is being an ass, flirting with a crowd of admiring women instead of disembarking, so Black Widow demonstrates the leadership skills that put her in charge despite being the non-powered person on a team with Hercules, Ghost Rider, Angel, and Iceman.

She shoots Hercules in the head.

That’s her leadership style.

Hercules then shows why he’s not in charge of anything when he tears through the plane rather than go around the terminal and then smashes a helicopter when the pilot refuses to give them a ride since the Avengers priority status has been revoked.

That pilot is now destitute and will starve in the streets without his livelihood.

Anyway.

Hercules and Black Widow arrive at Avengers Mansion and join Iron Man’s round table from the opening splash page.

Iron Man still has no clue what technology might be behind the disappearances so he decides to work with SHIELD scientists to figure it- oh, nope.

Avengers are no longer authorized to contact SHIELD.

So Iron Man decides to do something perhaps a little sketchy and go over SHIELD’s head and contact Nick Fury directly using super secret emergency frequencies that he knows as Tony Stark.

But Nick Fury isn’t any help either (and Tony Stark is probably going to get an angry call in his future for sharing the frequencies (with himself)).

Nick Fury: “I don’t know how ya wormed this frequency outta Stark, Shellhead -- but it won’t do ya any good! As long as Agent Gyrich considers the Avengers a security risk, SHIELD is severin’ all ties! Nick Fury -- out!”

Dang.

Even Nick Fury won’t help them. And he’s as amoral and screw the rules as you can reasonably expect from the boss of an international spy organization. And this whole saga started off with them saving his satellite from a bigger satellite that was no threat to it.

No gratitude.

Anyway, in Forest Hills, Korvac spies on the Avengers.

Perhaps he’s bored.

Or rather, its part of an overall observation to make sure nobody is onto him, as he tells Carina when she comes in to offer him some cocoa.

And by the way, he turns her down. HE CAN JUST MANIFEST COCOA FROM NOTHINGNESS so screw your kind offer.

Kind of rude, Korvac.

Anyway, he also spies on the Guardians of the Galaxy, showing Karina through a kirby krackle viewing hole that they’re fully invested in guarding young Vance Astrovik with no thought to any other possible course of action.

Korvac: “And none even suspect that they are acting on my will, as one of the myriad adjustments I must make in the cosmos to prepare it for my... proprietorship!”

I also want to note that its an incredibly bad idea for Nikki Gold to hide in a tree. Her hair is made of fire and trees are flammable.

But back to spying.

There are others that Korvac must spy on who are slighly less oblivious than the Avengers and Guardians so Korvac tells Carina to gtfo because he needs all his manly concentration and with none of her womanly distractions. Presumably.

So she leaves to go to her bedroom and cries because of Korvac’s cold indifference. Or perhaps because she’s secretly a spy and must now betray Korvac’s trust.

But as she goes to do... something? all with the crackling of energies, she stops.

Carina: “No! I - I can’t do it! I can’t! Michael may be mad to think he’s a god, that he’s the rightful owner of the universe! But father help me -- i’m starting to believe him!”

It is perhaps my more modern sensibilities that has a problem with this. Korvac and Carina’s relationship has been almost entirely off-panel and in suggestion. One of the few times we’ve seen them relaxing together and he’s callously dismissive of her presence and her cocoa offer.

And yet their relationship and love for one another is a key facet of events going forward. So we have to take it on faith that these two love each other enough to motivate actions to come.

Even though Korvac is a typical example of emotionally unavailable take take take no give toxic masculinity.

So for this among other reasons, I will disagree with Korvac that he’s the rightful owner of the universe.

Mankind ills needs a savior such as him.

Anyway. I’m venting, somewhat. Hopefully this will make more sense to you later.

So. Korvac.

Using his PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER he reaches out and watches the unbeknowst Watcher, peeps on Odin and Zeus, and spies on Mephisto’s brunch.

And satisfied that those great powers remain unaware of his schemey plans, he checks on Eternity. The big space weirdo that is actually the entire universe. Because comics are weird and so are Stan Lee and Steve Ditko.

Korvac: “It is good! None yet guess that I even exist! But there still remains the most important entity to be observed! The celestial vastness of -- ETERNITY HIMSELF! Eternity! He who is the universe personified... within whom all the stuff of this reality exists. He’s so confident, so serene in his omnipotence! He would pay little heed to a mote such as I, even had I not shielded myself from his sight! But one day -- one day soon -- I will take what is rightfully mine!”

Korvac, you’re such an anime villain in so many ways. Scheming to usurp the universe and all...

However, with his senses outstretched or however you describe senses - like trying to hear harder? Senses are weird - Korvac feels something. A ripple in the cosmic fabric.

Coming from disturbingly nearby.

And he marches to Carina’s bedroom, slams the door open, and confronts her over her treachery.

But as he’s physically manhandling her, he looks into her eyes and sees only love.

Remember: this is a love story.

Of sorts.

Anyway, back to the titular characters and their problems.

Captain Marvel flies off from Avengers Mansion to scour the world with his cosmic senses.

And since there’s nothing that Black Widow and Hercules can actually do at the moment (not even using her spy connections? Geez, Natasha. Geez), they go off to get their luggage from the airport.

On their way to the airport, Natasha and Hercules have Real Talk which is probably more relevant to the Champions book.

Basically Hercules says that since mortals live only a wink in the eye of a god “‘tis of little import how long one lives -- how well is what really matters!”

Which makes Natasha realize a thing or two about how Hercules sees her.

Anyway, back at the mansion again, Whizzer declines to help. After the Count Nefaria fiasco where his Old Man Nihilism helped save the day, he’s realized that he’s too old for this line of work.

And Hawkeye is not an ass for once. Instead he uses his bouquet of flowers arrow to try to cheer Scarlet Witch up. But with Vision and Quicksilver among the missing, she’s feeling some young woman nihilism. A simple trick arrow won’t be cheering her up.

Although ‘simple’ is underselling it. How did he fit a bouquet of flowers in an arrow? WHAT ARROW SORCERY IS THIS?

I mean, he also invented anti-gravity to make an anti-gravity arrow that one time. Its possible that Hawkeye is actually a scientific genius who also happens to be a garbage fire. Or an actual arrow wizard. Who also happens to be a garbage fire.

Also, a Russian steamer slowly approaches New York carrying a weird old man who carves a doll of Scarlet Witch and is just reeking of foreshadowing. What is this guy’s deal? You’ll have to wait and see. Or just google it. Up to you.

Meanwhile Thor returns from one of his Thor trips. But weirdly he doesn’t recognize Wonder Man. Or remember the battles against Graviton or Count Nefaria.

Something weird is going on, Thor-wise. He doesn’t even accept half of Wonder Man’s sandwich.

Although the sandwich wasn’t cut in half before Wonder Man started eating it so its kind of a weird offer.

Meanwhile, in the Avengers laboratory. Yellowjacket is starting to feel like a character in an Agatha Christie novel. Perhaps like a giant bee alien that has been programmed to follow murder mysteries in times of stress.

The Avengers’ equipment isn’t sensitive enough to track the disappearances and none of the people they’ve reached out to have been willing to help them because of Peter Henry Gyrich taking away their priority status.

I have to wonder why they didn’t reach out to the Fantastic Four, honestly. Not even a call that ends with ‘sorry we have our own troubles.’ They just didn’t even try. Nor the X-Men nor the Defenders and their magic guy Mr. Weird.

Although in fairness, the Defenders are dicks. But why not the Fantastic Four?

Oh shared universe, sometimes you’re not so shared after all.

But Black Panther hits upon an obvious idea.

They’re in good with the Guardians of the Galaxy, right? And their Drydock space station is just hanging around not doing anything, right? With technology a thousand years in advance of the Avengers’? Why not just get in touch with them and get them to sort it out?

This idea is so good that Black Panther and Yellowjacket spontaneously cease to exist.

Or maybe they’ve been disappeared by the mysterious adversary.

And Scarlet Witch and Wonder Man were also taken, as Hawkeye and Thor run in to report.

Is it targeted? Or opportunistic?

Black Panther just came up with a good idea and Yellowjacket was about to put it into action when they were vanished. But nothing stops the non-disappeared members from just doing what Black Panther suggested.

And they do do that. Iron Man contacts Vance Astro aboard Drydock and he tells them that he has traced a radiation trail to an object three cubic meters in size orbiting Earth. Which Astro directly compares to the size of a phone box.

Curious and also more curious.

Was Doctor Who the villain all along?

Probably... probably...

Anyway, now that they know where has been causing this trouble, Iron Man asks Astro to teleport the Avengers to it.

He questions the sense of squeezing so many people into a phone box (he would have hated the 50s) but goes ahead and does it anyway.

Inside the bigger on the inside phone box shaped object with a function that allows it to go unnoticed, a chameleon circuit if you will, the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue is gloating over his collection of Avengers in tubes.

Mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue: “It is fortunate that his attention was focused elsewhere. Otherwise, I would have been forced to continue acquiring Avengers in the same sporadic manner as before -- in order to avoid detection!”

We also see that in addition to the ones explicitly yoinked (Wonder Man, Yellowjacket, Scarlet Witch, Black Panther) the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue also snagged Black Widow, Hercules, and Captain Marvel.

Geez. Letting them go off unsupervised really didn’t pay off.

Anyway, the four remaining Avengers (Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye, and the Wasp) loudly announce their presence instead of trying to keep the element of surprise. And by that I mean it was all on Hawkeye.

But the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue isn’t upset to see the Avengers storming his not-TARDIS. In fact, he’s thrilled

The Collector: “‘Cowering’? But my dear fellows, I’m absolutely delighted you’re here! After all, you’ve just saved me the considerable bother of fetching you! For I am -- THE COLLECTOR! And you, my hapless friends, have just completed my collection! Ah hah ha ha ha ha!”

Oh hey its this nerd again!

Good twist, good surprise villain! I love the Collector. Always with the attempted collecting of the Avengers for reasons. Always with being a huge nerd.

And this time he actually managed a scheme that wasn’t dumb. Instead of pretending to be Tom Fagan, he just kidnapped the Avengers with teleportation while invisibly hiding out in orbit in a not-TARDIS. And he would have and might still get away with it if it weren’t for that meddling Vance Astro!

Of course, this isn’t a typical the Collector story. Its part of the Korvac Saga and that leaves open the question of why. We have to assume that the distracted ‘he’ the Collector spoke of was Korvac and his inattentiveness scanning the great powers and yelling at his wife was what allowed the Collector to step up his kidnapping game.

But why? I guess we’ll find out

Next: Captured by the Collector!

Please follow @essential-avengers if you like these posts. Or even if you’re benevolently indifferent.

#Avengers #Iron Man #Black Panther #Thor #Scarlet Witch #Wonder Man #Hawkeye #the Wasp #Yellowjacket #Carina #Korvac #up to something #a mysterious shadowy foe from the end of the last issue #Essential Avengers #Essential marvel liveblogging #the avengers are super bad at problems they can't punch #Henry Gyrich undermines the Avengers more than any villain ever has #Korvac Saga

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wackygoofball · 7 years ago

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Gifset: Jaime x Brienne - Traveler AU

Jaime Lannister, manager and right-hand man to the CEO of the company, his father Tywin, lives a life that goes its course almost entirely by itself. From the early beginnings of his life, he was framed to, one day, inherit his father’s “family empire.” And Jaime never bothered, really, being a natural in what it takes to fill in such a position. It just seemed like the most natural conclusion to go with the flow.

Nothing out of the ordinary happens – until it does.

A car accident right outside the family company’s office building leaves Jaime’s right hand permanently damaged. And this experience shows Jaime one thing: He didn’t witness anything exciting, anything extraordinary, and almost died not having achieved much of anything outside the family business.

At first, he is simply depressed, caves in at home, does not show up at work, is done with life. But then, perhaps by a wink of fate, Jaime finds an old map, from the last holiday he took when he was still in college, and bought himself a ticket to Lys out of the blue. He almost completely forgot over business life that this was his last actual holiday, and a good one, actually. And as he sits there, going back over some of the good old memories, Jaime has to realize that he hasn’t taken any time for himself, hasn’t traveled – beside for work – in ages.

In a cloak-and-dagger operation, Jaime buys backpack, boots, tent, and whatever else he can gather, only to wind up by the Citizens Advice Bureau first chance he has to get the papers needed. After that, Jaime takes a taxi to King’s Landing Airport and wants to board the next-best plane he can catch, much to the irritation of the woman sitting behind the counter.

When asked to where he would like to go, Jaime simply replies, “Doesn’t matter. Just away from here. So long I can fly right now, I don’t care what the location is.”

And so, Jaime finds himself walking on Dornish soil soon thereafter.

Already at the airport, as he waits for his luggage to arrive, Jaime gets one confused phone call after the other from his family members, asking him where he is.

“Dorne. What would you want to do in Dorne?!”

“Making holidays,” Jaime replies simply, again and again.

“And you couldn’t have told anyone beforehand?”

“I got the last ticket.”

“When are you going to come back?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?! But Jaime…”

“As I said, I don’t know, and my bag just arrived. I am hanging up now, bye.”

Jaime reckons that the vacation will do him good, but he soon grows dissatisfied. Doing the usual tourist routines has him rather annoyed. Even the prospect of seeing some of the most beautiful sights Dorne has to offer has Jaime shockingly little excited. He thought that this would be it, that this is what he is seeking, but… it’s not.

The realization comes to Jaime one late night, watching a travel documentary on a small TV in his hotel room: He doesn’t need vacation, he needs to travel.

Thus, Jaime gets himself on a ferry to the Stepstones, from the Stepstones to the Grey Gallows, and from the Grey Gallows to Tyrosh, and so forth. On the way, Jaime buys himself a bunch of disposable cameras to take pictures with, and begins to do something that he didn’t do ever since the accident, namely to write – in a leather journal he bought on a small market in Dorne.

After all, no one is going to read his chicken scratch other than him.

However, not all is rosy on that journey, because Jaime has to realize far sooner than later that walking into this completely unprepared comes with a certain kind of thrill, but also a lot of troubles. Ending up in rat holes of hotels, having to camp out in the wilderness when the motels are all overbooked, only to realize that he never put up a tent in his life and thus failing miserably at the task, are only some of the troubles he encounters on that vacation.

At the same time, Jaime is thrilled to see all those new places, meet all sorts of people, taste different foods, and make experiences he never would have made, had he stayed home.

During his stay at Braavos, something catches his interest as he visits the Titan of Braavos, because there is one person in the mass of tourists taking pictures of the statue and following tourist guides around like geese, who seems not at all interested in the monument. The tall woman with blonde hair has not taken a single picture of the statue, Jaime observed, but instead took out her camera to take pictures of rather queer things, at least to Jaime’s mind: An ice cream cone dropped on the ground seems to have her particular interest.

Jaime feels very tempted to talk to her, but as he is about to do it, a youngster falls off the Titan’s toe after he had to climb on top of the statue, and everyone starts to fuss, so that Jaime loses the blonde woman in the crowd.

He travels to the next location, though the woman with brilliant blue eyes and an odd taste in objects of interest, remains on his mind all the while.

After a quite desperate phone call from his younger brother Tyrion, Jaime reluctantly agrees to check on his emails. For that matter, he gets into an internet café, because Jaime cannot properly read mails on his phone, and he purposely left his computer at home before he went on his vacation. After a quick check-in with reality awaiting him back home, Jaime decides that he is not yet ready to succumb to that life again, so he closes the tab and instead decides to use his remaining time at the café to browse the internet for traveler advices, groaning at some things he could easily have prevented, had he bothered to read up on the matter before just boarding a flight to Dorne.

In the course of his research, Jaime stumbles over a blog named The Traveler’s Guide of the Other Kind. And compared to most blogs he scrolled through, which were mostly focused on the person and his or her experiences, lots of pictures with nice InstaBran filters and what not, this blog’s title holds true. This one does not feature any pictures… of the person who is running this blog, let alone clues about his or her identity.

However, the blog is even more curious, because it doesn’t talk about what food to get where, or what sights are worth the voyage. Instead, the blog entries are largely about “The Small Things,” about sunsets in certain locations and at what times the light is the best, quite witty comments on the masses of people all doing the same thing “in strange sort of rituals, hailing statues, bridges, castles, and churches of faiths they do not even partake in, and all that with cameras and selfie sticks,” little anecdotes about people the author saw and observed, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes rather romantic.

Jaime would love to go on, but apparently, he kept reading the blog so long that the internet café is closing for the day. Nevertheless, he remains intrigued, so Jaime starts scrolling through the text posts on his phone once returned to his shabby motel.

Lying on his back in bed, he continues reading the posts that keep captivating him, finding it almost hilarious that some of the experiences and impressions written are so close to his own. Jaime drops his phone right in his face as it literally hits him that the author of the blog apparently features an entry on “The Tristful Chronicles of a Braavosi Ice Cream Cone,” with a picture of a dropped ice cream cone at the top, matching both the day and the location when Jaime saw that tall blonde woman taking pictures of that ice cream cone on the ground.

Jaime reckons that if he took the risk to abandon his entire life to go travelling, he might just as well take the risk to reach out to that woman who has been flitting across his mind ever since he saw her in Braavos.

What is the worse that can happen, right?

Thus, Jaime tries to type a comment, but ends up pushing the SEND-button before he could double-check, thus sending a message that is filled with typos and some really odd wordings. “Stupid hand!” Meanwhile, in a hotel room on New Ghis, Brienne is surprised to get a new comment on her “The Tristful Chronicles of a Braavosi Ice Cream Cone” entry, which did not have too many readers at all.

Not that Brienne bothers. She didn’t start the blog to gain followers, but simply wanted to have a place to gather her thoughts at. The message she receives now has her rather baffled, because… typos and rather a lot of gibberish stuffed into a short comment, but still readable enough for her to understand that the person who wrote this saw her back at the Titan and wondered until s/he found this blog what was so interesting about that ice cream cone.

Brienne is a bit shocked: She never posts pictures of herself, for the plain reason that she is ugly and doesn’t like to have her picture taken anyway. The thought that someone may out her is somewhat frightening to Brienne. After all, she tries to stay anonymous, just travels around, merges in with the background to observe.

Yet, she cannot resist replying, very cautiously so. However, to her even greater surprise, Brienne gets a reply almost instantly, and then another, and another, and she ends writing back each time.

Jaime and Brienne eventually message each other over the private message tool of the blog, which allows them to communicate more privately, discussing their travelling experiences, to where they have already gone, etc.

Sometime later, almost by accident, they find out that they are currently in the same location. So Jaime takes a chance and suggests to meet.

Brienne almost falls off her chair once she reads that message. Because that never happened, and she believed it impossible anyway. Brienne replies, truthfully, that she has to catch a flight that same day, later that evening. Jaime replies instantly that he wouldn’t care.

“We can meet up as long as we can until you have to fly again, I don’t mind.”

And so, they meet. The first handshake is all kinds of awkward once it dawns on them that they are two strangers who decided to meet based on some shared travel experiences. The beginning of the conversation is rather rocky, but once they start talking about journeys again, the two somehow ease into the situation. Jaime eventually find the courage to ask Brienne about why she takes those rather odd pictures and why they are the focus of her online travel guide. And so, Brienne explains: “To me, travelling is about seeing places, about witnessing them. And that is more than tasting the food, looking at the statues, the churches. It’s about watching people interact, about seeing children climb on top what is considered a cultural good. It’s about lost ice cream cones. Couples breaking up and proposing to one another in the cheesiest of ways. You know, I could have done it like most others do, focus on the obvious, the conventional. But I like to think that… that there is something beautiful in the unconventional, just like it is in what seems to be utterly unimportant because it is so very conventional.“

Jaime is thrilled about what he hears.

Suddenly, Brienne gets a call that her normal flight is going to be cancelled, but that she can still catch an earlier flight if she gets to the airport within two hours. Brienne excuses herself, explaining that she always wanted to see Old Valyria at the season, and knows she won’t catch a flight until they close down for the year. Jaime tells her that it’s fine and that he perfectly understands. Brienne is very apologetic – and a bit mournful because she can’t remember the last time she enjoyed a date that much.

As they prepare to part, Jaime tells her that he will be waiting for the next log entry on Old Valyria. Brienne gathers all of her confidence to offer him her telephone number, which Jaime takes more than gladly. The two part with a another awkward handshake, though really, they can’t help but think about one another once they are out of each other’s sight. Despite the fact that both are too stubborn to admit it.

And so, their journeys go separate ways again. Jaime wants to head further North while Brienne ventures through Old Valyria. Jaime is pleased to read an entry that alludes to their meeting and even a quote by him from their conversation. The two now start to talk over the phone, and as they continue travelling, try to beat one another in most unconventional places to have found, most curious experiences to have witnessed, or weirdest people they met, etc.

"Some boys like a challenge…”

They accidentally meet up again at an airport after both had their flights cancelled, so they are stuck for the night. The two are not sure whether to shake hands or hug, so yeah, it is awkward. They decide to get some drinks at the bar to pass the time. Jaime and Brienne come to talk about his injury and how that was the starting point for him to start that journey. Brienne lets on that she decided that it was time that she left home after Renly died and she had caved in at home far too long that it had her father worried.

“Sometimes you have to leave to find your way back home… I hope, at least.”

Once it’s time to say goodbye, Jaime suggests as casually as he can that they may want to try to end up in the same location some time, surprised when Brienne instantly recounts to where she is going and in what order, only to break out laughing when Jaime takes out his worn journal to see about his flight plans.

“Now, that is what I call old-fashioned,” she snorts.

"I call it traditional. Not all of us run fancy blogs, you know.”

“Well, blogs are also already outdated. Now it’s InstaBran stories that count. So perhaps we have something in common in that regard after all.”

They figure that the location following their next ones actually matches, so Jaime and Brienne agree to a “travel date.”

Then, at last, the time has come, and they are in the same location. They meet up at the airport, get themselves rooms in the same hotel. The two are thrilled to discover just how much they actually have in common, making their very own tours, discussing their boring jobs and their exciting journeys, sharing takeaway in hotel rooms, and watching sunsets in the most curious of places together.

Jaime still can’t believe himself that he just follows through with this new kind of life, almost eloping with a woman he barely knows but feels as though he has known her for years already. He wouldn’t have done things in that way back in the “old life.”

And for Brienne, it’s also the first time she even considered a man in that way after Renly’s death.

Of course, they continue to challenge one another. Jaime has to do things with his right arm upon her insistence, while Jaime takes out his “even more old-fashioned than the journal” disposable camera and challenges Brienne to have him take her picture, one of which he secretly adds to his journal.

And on a journey of self-discovery, they discover each other, eventually giving in to their undeniable attraction for one another. The two want to go on travelling, but eventually decide to go together, rearranging plans so that they can take the same route.

It is like a journey to heaven. Seeing different places, kissing under sights, taking pictures of the small things, reading through each other’s log entries, even lying next to each other in shabby hotel rooms with uncomfortable mattresses feels divine.

However, the journey comes to a sudden halt when Jaime runs into Tyrion, who has tracked him down upon their father’s order, explaining to the older brother that Tywin’s patience has worn thin and that if Jaime does not return any time soon, he will no longer provide for Jaime’s travelling – or anything else for the matter.

“And he is serious, I am telling you.”

Heartbroken, Jaime talks to Brienne about the latest revelation, but he is surprised that she shows such great understanding for his situation, even encouraging him to go back home. “You are loyal to your family. I am loyal to my father. I get this, I do, Jaime. We don’t get to choose.”

While both say that they can meet up again and that Brienne may want to travel to Casterly Rock some time soon, both know that their travel romance has come to an abrupt end.

Begrudgingly, Jaime makes his way back into the old life, feeling utterly miserable about himself, which does not go unnoticed by his younger brother Tyrion, though he does not know about Jaime’s heartache for his former travelling companion, because the older brother did not want to involve Brienne into his family’s mess any more than he already did.

Brienne is not faring much better. Her thoughts revolve around Jaime all the while, too, which she realizes in a number of posts she deletes that almost exclusively speak of heartache and Jaime, Jaime, Jaime. She has to realize that being alone and anonymous is not that great when you finally found someone who knows and understands you. Then, being alone and unconventional seems to ring so hollow.

Back in King’s Landing, Tyrion discovers his brother’s journal eventually.

After some serious deciphering of the chicken scratch, Tyrion must say that Jaime’s journal is an entertaining read, if not a profitable one. He gets into contact with publishers, and they seem to share his opinion, because it is only a little while from now that Jaime’s journal entries are getting published as a travel guide – after some just as serious editing through his younger brother, of course.

Brienne meanwhile, on her continuous voyage towards the Isle of Faces, which is supposed to be her last stop on the journey before going home to Tarth again, stumbles across a bookstore, where they feature a book with Jaime’s picture on the title page. Stunned, she buys the next best copy she can grab, devouring the journal as she roams through the streets of Oldtown.

Not only is she surprised that Jaime apparently went into publishing, after he teased her all the while for telling the whole world about her experiences, “even though you claim to be so shy, wench,” but she is also caught off-guard by some many log entries alluding to her. While the book was edited so not to give her identity away, something that Jaime likely insisted on for her sake, she finds herself near tears at some of the later entries speaking about how the shared voyage with her proved to be the best part of the whole journey.

“It was during that time that I saw in myself the man I wanted to be. That part of my voyage is the one that changed my world – for the better. That one person I met… changed everything, turned my whole voyage of life upside-down, and I loved every second of it. And to this day, I come to regret that it didn’t last longer. I wish I was still out there, every day.”

Brienne calls up Jaime once she is back in her hotel room, to congratulate him on his latest success. Jaime explains rather sheepishly that he didn’t know “until it was too late” that Tyrion took the journal to publishers behind his back.

“Now my own face is haunting me in every bookstore. I think I have to go incognito.”

“Fake moustache?”

“Maybe.”

They talk about Brienne’s plans, and how far she has come by now. Brienne tells him that she is “just that close” to get through with the locations she planned on visiting, to arrive at the Isle of Faces as her “final piece in the puzzle.”

“So? What are you going to do with your newly acquired status as a popular traveler journalist?“ Brienne teases, if only to distract from herself – and her apparent heartache at the thought that she will finish the journey alone, because the two actually made plans to go to the Isle of Faces together.

But then reality called back and all was over.

“Laughing myself silly because I hated reading since a young age, and now I am supposedly a writer. Well, at least you can make some money with those guides. So maybe you should start as well.”

“I think I will pass.”

“Says the popular blogger.”

“I am not popular at all, and I pride myself with that,” she argues.

“Would be too mainstream for you anyway.”

Towards the end of the conversation, Jaime blurts out saying “I miss you… I… I miss us.”

”… Me, too,” Brienne replies hastily. “But… well, travelers undergo voyages. That is what we do. We don’t know where we end up. The journey is the goal. And that means we sometimes end up… in different places, it seems.”

Jaime wants nothing but get out of the family company, his mind keeps going back to the Isle of Faces, and most importantly – Brienne, whereas Brienne’s thoughts on her voyage keep revolving less and less around the Isle of Faces and more and more about the travel partner she lost back when he went to the capitol to return to “real life.”

Things may take another turn when Jaime’s brother makes a proposal, but whether that is going to pan out, only time will show.

Because as corny as it may sound, life is a journey.

And it is yet to be determined whether Jaime and Brienne will get a chance to go on that journey together, or will continue to be swept to different shores…

#jaime x brienne #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #wacky tries gimp #fanfic

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