#anyway I've been thinking about them a lot

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie seemed to have zero impulse control when he's not actively thinking about it. After Vecna Eddie moved in with Steve because he and Wayne didn't have a new place yet, plus, Wayne was living out of a motel. It was not a place for someone with wounds like his. Also, he was still waiting to be cleared of all charges. Steve was well enough to take care of Eddie. The metalhead was still in a lot of pain and on as many painkillers as he was allowed the first time that it happened. Steve was leaning over to fluff his pillows, and his lips were close to Eddie's face. It was all Steve’s fault, really. Eddie was thinking about how pretty his lips were when he decided to grab Steve by the back of the neck.

"What are - MMHH!"

Eddie brought his lips to his, and it was the sweetest kiss that Steve had ever experienced. It had left his lips feeling all tingly. Steve could easily pass it off on the fact that Eddie was high, and that was exactly what he did do. He never brought it up or told anyone about it. . .not even Robin. He really couldn't ignore it, though, when it happened a second time.

Eddie was feeling a lot better and could move around the house a lot more. Steve had finally been able to cook dinner for the both of them after living off other people's cooking and takeout while they both healed. They had finished eating when Eddie lumbered over to him and spun him around, cupping his face.

"That was the best home-cooked meal I've ever eaten - MUAH!" Eddie exclaimed, kissing him square on the mouth. "You go settle down. I'll handle the clean-up, big boy."

Steve had frozen a little. Surely, Eddie knew what he was doing? Since he hadn't brought it up, Steve decided not to bring it up either. . .except when it happened a third time. Eddie was completely healed, and he was able to be let out of the house since he was he officially cleared of all charges. He wanted to meet up with Corroded Coffin at Gareth's since they refused to come over to Steve's house despite the fact that Steve had told them they were welcome anytime. Even though he understood where they were coming from, it still stung that they refused to even try to get to know him. Anyways, Eddie was on his way out the door except for the fact that his keys were lying on the counter.

"Hey, did you forget something?" Steve asked.

"Oh, right," Eddie said, twirled around and kissed him while scooping up the keys. Then he was gone.

Okay, he really couldn't ignore it this time. Steve really needed to talk to someone about the kisses and about how much he liked them. He needed to know what that meant, and he knew exactly what kind of conversation this would turn out to be.

"Eddie keeps kissing me," Steve said as soon as Robin got in the car.

"I'm sorry, what?" Robin said, blinking.

"You know how Eddie's really affectionate," Steve replied. "Does it bother you when he kisses you?"

"Oh, you mean like kissing on the forehead and the cheek? No, I think it's sweet, actually," Robin said and rolled her eyes. "Are you feeling a little insecure in your masculinity because a man is getting a little affectionate with you?"

"What?! No, I don't mind getting affection from a man, Robin. You know I hug Argyle all the time," Steve said. "I'm just wondering why Eddie kisses me on the mouth and he doesn't do that with anyone else."

"Stop the car!" Robin screamed, and Steve pulled over the side, parking the car.

"Jesus, Robin!" Steve exclaimed.

"Eddie's been kissing you on the MOUTH?!" Robin asked.

"Yeah. He doesn't do that with you?" Steve asked.

"No, I think that's a treat only for you," Robin said.

"But why? We're both straight," Steve said. "I mean, I'm not trying to complain or anything, it's nice but why is he doing it?"

"You like it when he kisses you?" Robin asked.

"Yeah," Steve shrugged. "If I were into men, I'd be asking him on a date, but I'm not gay, Robin. . .well, maybe just for Eddie. Is it possible to be gay just for one person?"

"I mean, maybe, but I doubt that it's the case here," Robin said. "Usually, I would probably let you figure this out for yourself, but considering how long you kept it hidden that you like Nancy Drew, it might just take a while. . .do I have permission to rip off the band-aid?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess," Steve asked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, how the hell were you so sure about Vickie and completely clueless about yourself?" Robin asked.

"Are you still on it that I totally called it about Vickie being a lesbian before you did?" Steve asked.

"She's not a lesbian, dingus," Robun said.

"Okay, I was pretty sure that you two were dating. Robin, she's clearly into you, so I'm pretty sure you have a shot," Steve said.

"Yeah, we are dating but she's not a lesbian," she said.

"I'm so confused," Steve said.

"In more ways than one," Robin said.

"Robin, we're going to be late for work," Steve said.

"Vickie is a bisexual," Robin said. "She likes more than one gender."

"Oh. . .oh, like David Bowie!" Steve exclaimed. "Right?!"

"Right," Robin said.

"Oh my god!" Steve said. "My Tom Cruise obsession suddenly makes sense - I didn't want to be him - "

"Not to mention, all those times you've stared openly at Eddie along with his posters of Eddie Van Halen and Kirt Hammel. . . "

"Kirk Hammett, Robin," Steve scoffed. "Eddie would rip you a new one for getting that one wrong."

"But you knew it because Eddie did," Robin said.

"I like him," Steve said with wide eyes.

"Yeah, buddy. Are you going to need a minute?" Robin said.

"Nah, I'm fine. I actually feel really good about it," Steve grinned.

"Not even a little freak out?" She asked.

"Nope!"

"Lucky bitch," Robin muttered.

"I'm sorry, the next time I have a realization about myself, I'll make sure to give you the freak out that you deserve," Steve said.

"That's all I'm asking," Robin said.

They spent the morning shift talking about Eddie and what he'd say to him once he got home. Steve debated on giving him flowers or not, or a stuff animal. He decided on a stuffed animal because that was more permanent, as Robin had pointed out. They were just about to take their break for lunch when Eddie strolled in.

"Hey," Steve said brightly. "I was just thinking about you."

"Yeah?" Eddie asked and leaned against the counter. "That's good to know."

Eddie leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. This time, Steve responded to it, cupping Eddie's face as he deepened the kiss. He could feel Eddie smile against his lips. Steve heard Robin scrambling to lock the front door and close the newly installed blinds. Eddie wrapped his arms around him, nearly climbing over the counter to do it. Finally, Robin coughed loudly and they broke apart.

"Hi," Steve said breathlessly.

"Hi," Eddie said. "I got something for you."

He climbed over the counter and sat down in front of him. He pulled out a rock and handed it to Steve.

"It looks like a guitar pick," Steve said with a grin.

"I thought you could use it for good luck," Eddie said.

"That's very sweet, thank you," Steve said, blushing. "I'm going to keep it forever."

"So, your boyfriend did good?" Eddie asked.

"Boyfriend?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I know we're taking things slow, but I was hoping that you'd consider me being your boyfriend," Eddie said.

"Yeah, uh, it's just - it might be the concussions, but I don't remember asking you out or you asking me out," Steve said.

"Oh, you definitely asked me out," Eddie said.

"Oh, God, Robin. The doctor said if I started having memory problems - " Steve said with wide eyes. "I'd definitely remember asking you out."

"Honey! I'm sure it's fine!" Eddie exclaimed. "Robin was there, she'll tell you!"

"I was NOT!" Robin yelled, her eyes going wide. "Or was I? Oh, god, what if I hit my head and I don't remember?! I'd remember my best friend asking out a man!"

"Okay, don't panic, Robin, we'll call Hopper - " Steve started to say.

"You really don't remember?!" Eddie shrieked.

"No!" Robin and Steve yelled.

"Seriously, Robin, you were there, and you turned into a giant duck which, by the way, is rude because you know about my fear of ducks!" Eddie yelled.

"Oh, Eddie, goddamnit, was this a dream?" Steve asked.

"You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I think it might have been a dream," Eddie said.

"Okay, those looks you've been giving me make a lot more sense," Robin said. "Have you been living in fear of me randomly turning into a duck, like I'm some sort of. . .wereduck?"

"I don't know, your name's Robin, and we've all been through crazy shit. . .anything is possible," Eddie said.

"Aww, and you've hugged me even though you're scared of ducks," Robin cooed.

"Well, it's my fear, my responsibility. It's not your fault," Eddie said and then looked at her. "But you're not, though, right?"

"No, Eddie," she said softly and then affectionately, "You dingus."

"This whole time. . .," Eddie trailed off. "We haven't actually been dating. You never asked me out."

Eddie started to scramble off of the counter when Steve grabbed him and pulled him back.

"Let's fix that. . .Eddie Munson, do you want to be my boyfriend?" Steve asked.

"Fuck yeah, I do," Eddie grinned.

He grabbed the back of Steve’s head and crashed their lips together. Eddie sighed and leaned his forehead against Steve’s.

"No one better fucking wake me up," Eddie breathed and Steve laughed.

"Oh God! I think my nose is turning into a bill - quack, quack!"

"Robin!"

[ieatratsforbreakfast]

oh my god this whole fucking thread is images, get ready for it

[ID:

First image: a tweet from @/autismlor that says "Sorry for being so inactive on this account, the Taylor hyperfixation kinda died a little once I started getting laid Imao" underneath in the replies they say "People bookmarking this are you gonna come back after you get laid and report if it happens to you too or"

Second image: a tweet from @/meanlore that says "honestly ever since i got on the right meds it's been really hard for me to care about taylor swift being gay" then in the replies they say "(lamotrigine for anyone wondering !!)"

Third image: an instagram post from @/btsarmy222777 the photo is a pink and purple gradient with the text "SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING ON HERE A LOT GUYS I STARTED TAKING A MOOD STABILIZER AND NOW I'M NOT OBSESSED WITH BTS ANYMORE" in white. The caption reads "Still love them though 💜" (purple heart emoji.)

Fourth image: a tweet from @/larryslittlefrk that says "sorry for being so inactive lately, just wanted to give you all total transparency 💕" (double pink heart emoji) with a screenshot of a notes app entry attached. The note is titled 🚨 (siren emoji) life update 🚨 (siren emoji). The text below it reads "hey guys! Life update!!! So they found a bunch of mold in my dorm vent and since l've been home and on antibiotics I noticed how much better I am really feeling and also feel like I can think more clearly now, and with a heavy heart I have to admit I think being a no stunt Larry was probably the mold talking. Not really sure why any part of that makes sense, especially Louis's fake kid and them both hiring beards for 10 years when they pick their own managers now... guess black mold can really affect your brain hahaha! anyways i'm so grateful for the friends i've made through this community and i hope all of you reach the same clarity as i have ❤️ (red heart emoji) get your vents checked everyone!"

Fifth image: an instagram post from @/jamesmcavoyupdates. The image is a photo of James Mcavoy standing on what looks to be a gate. The caption reads "im done with this account. Thank you for all the laughs but i have no motivation to keep updating on James. this account was initially to help me let my feelings out and sometimes rant but my antidepressants have started working and they helped me realize i actually do not like James mcavoy as much as i thought i did. If you were looking forward to my updates i apologize you will have to find another account to follow as i am no longer suffering from mental illness. Xx ❤️ (red heart emoji)"

/end ID]

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Thirty

Couple of things - I've been going through it lately and just wanted to get this bit out. I do have more planned but I need a break after this. The Carpenters song referenced is 'all you get from love is a love song' and if you don't know it you can give it a listen and then you'll get the 'broken arm' joke.

They squish together into the phone booth, Steve hitting the numbers almost on reflex now, going through the motions of briefly speaking to Robin’s mom.

He angles the receiver so that Eddie can hear too, their cheeks practically touching, “Steve! Chrissy’s here-”

“Why?” Eddie cuts her off immediately, “not time to close the shop,” he almost sounds a little critical when he says it, making Steve smile.

“I know I know,” Chrissy says, “but he came back!”

“So we waited for him to leave, and we followed him,” Robin adds enthusiastically.

If Steve couldn’t hear for himself that they’re both at Robin’s place, and they’re both absolutely fine, he’d be panicking now, maybe he kind of is, because he’s sort of snippy when he says, “Robin what the fuck, it’s not safe, you two aren’t- you’re not Cagney and Lacy for fucks sake.”

“Steve it’s fine,” Chrissy tells him, “he went to Starcourt, so we went home and called Hopper right away.”

“Good,” Steve breathes a sigh of relief, “okay, so what now?”

“We don’t know,” Robin admits, “we’re just waiting to hear now. See what happens?”

“Okay we could...Eddie, you want to kill some time in town, and we can call again later?”

“Yeah” Eddie pulls back his sleeve to check his princess watch, “...lunch. And shopping?”

“Sure thing baby.”

Chrissy squeaks down the phone, “oh you’re both just too cute together.”

“Oh my god don’t encourage them.”

“Oh!” Chissy starts, “I met El and all the rest of the kids, isn’t she just, so cool? She made some pens float around!”

“El is the fewest bad kid. She’s quiet,” Eddie agrees, but Steve is absolutely certain Eddie’s warmed to the kids a lot over the last couple of months, so he knows Eddie doesn’t really mean it like that.

“Least,” Steve corrects softly, “she’s the least bad. Probably.”

“Best of a bad bunch?” Robin hazards.

“Maybe,” Eddie tells her, “we can come home soon?”

“Errrr…I mean, see what Hopper says, I guess? We might know later, but you guys shouldn’t come back today anyway, it’s a few hours drive, and you’ll need to pack up and everything, right?”

Steve frowns, as Eddie, very briefly, looks sad, “maybe tomorrow,” he says to Eddie more than the girls, “is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods, “I...like the flower shop?”

“You miss it?”

“Yes, and Chrissy. Miss them. I know they’re not gone but...they’re not here.”

“Oh Eddie honey, I miss you too, okay? And when you get back you can come into work, there’s stuff to catch up on,” she whispers then, “Robin isn’t good with the flowers like you.”

“Hey! I’m trying my best here-” but she gives up, everyone else laughing over her.

The payphone starts to beep, “we’ll call later okay!”

Steve’s pretty sure Eddie’s jar will be empty again after today. He’s bought four more records, more Led Zeppelin, plus a Dio record because ‘Rainbow in the Dark’ was playing when they walked in and Eddie really liked it. Steve absolutely certain that the girl with a green Mohawk wearing a Dio shirt sealed the deal, but he's not going to tease Eddie about it.

Eddie comes out of the changing room of the second hand clothes store, showing Steve the jeans he’s trying on. He’s been making do all this time with Steve’s draw string sweats and jeans with a very cinched in belt, so it’s definitely time for Eddie to choose his own things but...Steve wasn’t expecting Eddie to choose anything quite so tight.

“Stevie? What do you think?”

Steve swallows thickly before he answers, he swears Eddie’s only getting away with wearing them because his dicks on the inside, the thing would get strangled otherwise, “you look really good Eds. You like those ones?”

“Yes. Black, like my tail. And look,” Eddie scratches at the ripped fabric, his knees on display, “see my knees. I like to see them, they’re new.”

Steve bites his lips briefly to suppress the chuckle, “you should definitely be proud of those knees, you did grow them yourself.”

Steve frowns at the sight of Eddie in a leather jacket; it’s so very far removed from everything he’s been wearing. It’s so different from all of Steve’s clothes, but Steve can’t deny he’s making it work. It definitely suits the look Eddie’s starting to cultivate. He’s very much leaning towards darker colors, and he was really pleased when he turned up a Led Zeppelin tee shirt out of a pile.

The difference between the Eddie that comes out of the dressing room and the Eddie that went in is startling, Steve’s pullovers and polos all tend to be lighter colors, so all the black is very different.

“You like it?”

“I mean, as long as you like it, sure, you’re the one who has to wear it. But yeah, yeah I do like it. You look good.”

Steve has to stand by while Eddie rummages across a tray of cheap jewellery, “they’ll turn your fingers green,” he warns vaguely. Eddie shrugs, probably not understanding what Steve means as he tries things on, he likes the shiny silver ones that definitely are not silver, “you’re such a magpie.”

Eddie chooses two chunky rings that are so cheap he will get change from his last five dollars, but he clearly likes how they look on his fingers; he doesn’t even take them off to pay for them. Steve knows he’s just here to hold the bags, but he doesn’t mind. Eddie’s worked hard for this money, he should spend it on the things he wants.

Steve meanders through the store, it’s mostly second hand furniture and ‘antiques’, but Steve figures that term is being used very, very loosely. As near as Steve can tell it mostly looks like house clearances and that sort of thing. He spends a little while at the glass cabinets, staring at all the little figurines. 'Dust gatherers,' his dad calls them. There’s some tiny little jade ones, big tall porcelain ones and everything in between.

He’s distracted away from them by the sound of twanging. Bad, uneven twanging on an acoustic guitar. Steve follows the sound, finding Eddie just fiddling with the strings, the guitar still lying on it’s back. It doesn’t have a case, and looks pretty beat to hell to Steve, covered in stickers and all scratched up, but Eddie is entertained by the noises, and he looks up, smiling, “you going to buy it?”

Eddie shakes his head, “not enough left.”

“How much are you short?”

Eddie checks his pocket, and then the little label hanging from the neck, “six dollars?” he hazards.

“Okay, well, I’ve got four left on me, so maybe you can haggle the guy down.”

“I’ll try,” Eddie grins big, taking the change from Steve.

They’ve dropped everything off at the car and, with nothing left to do to kill any more time, they head back to the phone and smush into the booth together.

“He wasn’t there when Hopper got there,” Robin tells them, and Steve sighs, disappointed, “but! El looked into my head real quick, and she says he’s called Doctor Owens. She knew who he was, and she says he’s...nice.”

“Nice,” Steve repeats, deadpan, “a man who facilitated experiments on little kids. Nice.”

“Well...I mean maybe as nice as he could be given the circumstances. I got the impression he never...he wasn’t cruel about it. If you know what I mean.”

“I guess,” Steve hazards, “Eddie?”

Next to him, Eddie’s kind of staring into space, frowning, “Owens. Yes. Remember that word, maybe?”

“Okay. Okay, so what are they doing now Robs?”

“Well, Hoppers keeping an eye out and he’s going to try the Motel right now, but if he’s not there he’s going to start doing drive bys of Starcourt and stuff, and hopefully he turns up,” Steve can hear in her voice that she's shrugging, “but Hopper says since no one else is asking any questions, he’s hopeful that it’s just this guy working alone, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah okay.”

Eddie listens to his new record while Steve makes dinner. He has his guitar over his lap, and occasionally plays a note or two. He understood the mechanics of it already, but Steve figures he must have seen someone with a guitar on TV at some point.

Steve’s absorbed in what he’s doing, and doesn’t notice at first that the twanging noises have stopped. The record ends, but it feels like it’s been a long time of quiet, and Steve looks over to find Eddie, expecting him to be flipping it.

He isn’t.

Steve turns off the stove, covering the two pots he’s been carefully nursing. Eddie isn’t in the cabin; Steve finds him on the dock. He’s just...standing there, in the near dark. Just...staring out across the lake.

“Eddie? You okay?”

Eddie looks around again, “heard something. Had to check it’s safe.”

“You could have said,” Steve comes up close, wrapping a hand around Eddie’s hip. Eddie turns in reflexively, looking for a quick, soft kiss, which Steve is happy to give.

“Think the trees look like The Upside Down.”

“Do you?” Steve looks around; all the trees have leaves on, they’re dense and alive and nothing like the dead twisted things that litter The Upside Down, “I don’t think they do.”

Wind moves through the trees, the susurration of leaves is kind of loud, “sounds like bats. Many many bats,” Eddie shifts closer, pressing himself against Steve.

“You okay?”

“I don’t...I think I don’t like it here.”

“Oh...well,” Steve makes a decision, “since they’re pretty sure it’s just the Owens guy, how about we go home tomorrow? I mean, you might not be able to go to work and stuff until they find him-”

“Yes. Home tomorrow.”

Steve looks around again, tries to see it through Eddie’s eyes. Tries to see what reminds him so much of The Upside Down. Maybe the panic attack in the shower knocked some stuff loose; Steve doesn’t know. Eddie’s been making do with strip washing from the bathroom sink the last couple of nights, and that’s been fine but not ideal. Eddie’s hair needs a wash.

“Okay, we’ll call when we go through town, okay, let them know?”

“Yes...take my book back.”

“You finished it?”

“Almost.”

“Lets go inside, I can finish dinner and you can tell me what it’s about?”

“So they’re...stealing treasure from a dragon?” Eddie nods, his mouth full of dinner. “Okay, fair enough.”

Eddie swallows, “I want to read The Lord of The Rings.”

“Okay, I’m sure we can get it at the library.”

“You promise dragons aren’t real?”

“Yup. Definitely not real, and there’s no hobbits or wizards or- or elves or any of that stuff. And magic isn’t real- well. That kind of magic isn’t real, at least,” Eddie frowns like the book committed a crime.

“But...dinosaurs. Dinosaurs were definitely real, you have those in your book?”

“Yes...dragons can fly though. And breathe fire.”

“Well...some dinosaurs could fly, and they were big like a dragon, some of them.”

“Really?” Eddie’s eyes go wide, “I thought from my book like...cow sized?”

“Hu uh,” Eddie excitement is actually palpable, “definitely a dinosaur book next, some of them were like...as tall as trees,” Steve doesn’t actually know, he was most definitely not a dinosaur kid, but he’s pretty sure at least some of them were tall like that.

“All the time, used to do this. When I had a tail,” Eddie’s voice is muffled where he’s bent over the kitchen sink.

“Yeah...I guess I did,” and it’s true, Steve was washing Eddie’s hair pretty much every other day when Eddie still had a tail. He feels the back of Eddie’s head almost reflexively at the memory, following the ghostly, barely there ridges with his fingers through the suds, “it’s getting so long again already.”

“Good. El said Max makes nice braids when it’s long enough.”

Steve snorts a laugh, “oh yeah? That’s going to look great, now eyes and mouth closed, I’m gonna’ rinse.”

Eddie has his head resting on Steve’s tummy while Steve plays with his hair, hand buried in his curls, massaging his scalp, “what you doing baby?”

“Hear.”

“Hear? Oh what, you’re listening?”

“Listening to Stevie’s inside.”

“Anything interesting?”

Eddie nods, his cheek dragging against Steve’s skin, “funny tummy noises. And bumping.”

“Bumping? Oh, beating, my heart right?”

“Yeah. Stevie, we can definitely go home tomorrow?”

“Sure thing babe, we can get packed up in the morning,” Steve yawns, “you want to go to sleep?”

“Maybe. There’s bad dreams here.”

Steve blinks his eyes open to look down, a weird shiver raising goosebumps on his arms, all the way down to where his hand is still buried in Eddie’s hair. Eddie didn’t have to put that quite so creepily. “I think it’s just...maybe it reminds you of things here, so your mind is kind playing tricks on you a little? There’s nothing bad here baby, I promise. What do you think?”

“The water reminds me of Barb.”

Steve frowns, “Barb? How do you know about Barb?” Under Steve’s hand, something crawls unpleasantly beneath Eddie’s skin.

Eddie shrugs, “Nancy told me you killed her.”

“Stevie!” Steve fights, briefly, confused. “Stevie love, it’s okay. Bad dream.”

Steve’s kind of sweaty and panting, but he quickly realizes that it’s Eddie whose holding him, so he quits moving, “Jesus Christ,” he breathes out slowly, trying to calm himself down, “I’m fine. Thanks. I’ll be okay in a minute.”

“You want to tell me? Here, water.” Steve takes the glass, sipping it carefully. He can feel the cool water go down, grounding him.

Steve has no desire whatsoever to talk about it, so he deflects, “what time is it?”

“Five?” Eddie leans over, checking his watch before putting it back, “half five.”

“I miss you saying five and a half, it was cute.”

“I can say five and a half,” Eddie takes the glass again before snuggling in.

“Did I wake you?”

“No. Already awake...bad dreams.”

“Fucking hell. We need to go home just so we can get a good nights sleep. What did you dream about?”

“You. Lost you, in the trees...we were here but...Upside Down trees? I tried and tried to find you. Could hear you, ‘help help,’ really scared.”

“Maybe it is this place,” Steve settles down again, pulling Eddie close, “weird that we’re both having bad dreams right?”

“I don’t like it.”

“No but...lets just rest a little, and then breakfast and we can get packed up, okay?”

“Okay, Stevie love.”

Eddie waits outside the phone booth, leaning against the car where it sits parked by the curb. Steve calls Family Video today, knowing that Robs should be at work, “hey Bird-”

“He got him! Hopper! He got the Owens guy!”

Steve feels himself relax, one less thing to worry about, “good. Good, we’re coming home.”

“Okay, Hopper does think it was just this guy. He was staying at the Motel, Hop had to wait around a bit, like proper stake out!! But he did get him. Said he couldn’t find any evidence of him like, working with other people, and El’s going to talk to him or something. Make sure. I’m not sure about that bit but-”

“Okay, okay, so where is he?”

“Hopper’s got him at the Motel. Probably like, tied up, do you think? Steve what if he’s like, working for the government though. Or or the Russians-”

Steve rubs his forehead, “Birdie, I know you do love some empty speculation-”

“I do!”

“But how about we wait until we actually like, know?”

“Spoil sport.”

They say goodbye and end the call, Steve offering the keys to Eddie, “want to do a little of the driving?”

Eddie grins big, clearly surprised and pleased by the offer, “yes I do!”

“Okay, careful though, you don’t know the roads like at home. And no getting distracted by the cows.”

Eddie ‘moos’ really loudly in response, once in the drivers seat, he pauses for a second, “should have bought tapes,” he laments.

“Well, unlucky, I’m thinking some Carpenters.”

“Nooooo,” Eddie laughs.

“Shut up, I know you love it. Now sing to me about how the best love songs are written with a broken arm.”

“I think that’s what she said! Broken heart makes no sense,” Eddie grumbles, Steve still laughing.

Eddie had caved after two hours of driving, but still, considering all Eddie had done before today is short journeys around Hawkins, Steve figures he did really well in an unfamiliar place, and he told Eddie so. Eddie has turned into a surprisingly careful driver, Steve doesn’t know if it’s his consideration for Steve’s beloved car, or if it’s Steve’s constant reminders that Eddie cannot afford to draw any attention to himself. Either way, Steve feels safe in the passenger seat.

“Okay, I think I should take you home to unpack, then I can figure out how to call Hop and see if I can go over.”

Steve’s not even surprised by Eddie’s response, “both go, you mean.”

“Eddie...I’m not sure it’s-”

“Stevie,” Eddie manages to make it a complete sentence.

“Look...I’m not going to take your choice away, okay, if you want to come, then that’s fine. But...you get I just want you to be safe, right? And I feel like the less this guy knows, the better?”

“I know...I know,” Eddie has his thinking face on, when he’s wrestling with how to say something. It’s been happening a lot less lately, but this concept must be more complicated. “The people had me in a tank. They...hurt me. I was scared. Now...Owens is in the tank? He has to...he has to say why. To me. And sorry.”

“I...is that what you want? For him to apologize? To...explain?”

“Apologize and explain. Yes. And...I will not hurt him. I’m Eddie. I’m not people.”

Steve shouldn’t be surprised, not really. He feels like he knows Eddie inside and out, but his natural compassion, his...kind of innate goodness still blind sides Steve sometimes. Steve had vaguely considered that a realistic outcome of this may be that he’s helping Hopper hide a body. Maybe. It was kind of an abstract thought he hadn’t wanted to poke too hard but, realistically, they’re talking about a man who experimented on children, on Eddie.

Steve is clearly no where near as forgiving.

Hopper meets them both outside the room. Steve has no idea what to expect, really. The rasp of Hopper stubble is loud when he scrubs at his face, “El thinks this Owens guy is legit. He already knows Eddie has,” Hopper gestures vaguely, “human parts.”

“How?”

“After Starcourt happened, he went back to poke about, and he saw you both. More importantly Eddie, driving a car,” Hopper’s words are full of accusation, like ‘see I knew him driving would be trouble.’

Eddie waves a hand dismissively, “I can go in?”

Hopper sighs, but Steve isn’t going to fight Eddie on this. He knows what he wants, and he’s so fucking smart. Steve’s sure Eddie doesn’t fully appreciate the risks, not since he doesn’t get fully grasp how stuff like actual governments work but...yeah. It’s Eddie’s life, but Steve still takes his hand. If they’re doing it, they’re doing it together.

Hopper just sighs and rolls his eyes.

Steve figured that, somehow, this guy would just...look evil. He doesn’t. He looks like a harmless old dude, sitting on the edge of a sagging motel mattress, looking over some papers. He cannot disguise his interest when Eddie walks in.

He’s not restrained or anything, he’s just...there. There are books and pens and folders and shit spread out on the opposite bed, like he’s been working.

“Owens?” Eddie checks.

“Yes. Yes hello it is...so wonderful to see you again. And to hear you speak! How good is your understanding-”

“I think we have questions, first,” Steve cuts him off sharply. He doesn’t seem threatening, just...genuinely pleased to see Eddie. The guy has to be up to something, Steve can’t shake the suspicious thought that the guy must be one hell of an actor.

“Yes. Of course. I have everything, all of my notes, from Starcourt, so any questions you have I will do my best to answer.”

“Okay, where the fuck do you get off experimenting on people?” Steve’s pretty sure his voice is reasonably calm. He’s vaguely aware of Hopper coming in behind them, pulling up a folding chair he must have gotten from his truck.

Owens closes his eyes briefly, before addressing Eddie,“yes. Of course. I am so so sorry for what you were put through but..the work we were doing. I was not fully aware of just how intelligent you were. Are. I didn’t at first fully comprehend that we were even dealing with a sentient specimen-”

“He’s not a specimen, he’s a person,” Steve snaps.

“I am very smart,” Eddie adds helpfully.

“Yes. Yes you are. And the transformation you have undergone is nothing short of miraculous, if I could take some bloods-”

“Absolutely the fuck not. What were you doing with the Russians?”

“Oh,” Owens seems genuinely confused by the question, like it hadn’t really occurred to him, “when the original labs were closed, the funding ended. Of course we were aware of the mirror dimension-”

Eddie looks at Steve, “he means The Upside Down.”

“-Oh, is that what you call it? Well, it was deemed for too dangerous, and not worth the expense, to continue, not after such a catastrophic failure. The Russians however didn’t seem to have any such issues and were interested in opening a gate; I had to go where I could to continue my work, you understand. And then they brought you back with them. What should I call you?”

“Eddie. I’m Eddie.”

“And you’re working? And you’ve learned to speak and drive a car...your ability to process new information is staggering. The physical changes, did they just happen? What was the-”

“Stop, just stop. What do you want with him? Why have you been asking around?”

“Stevie,” Eddie says quietly, pulling Steve back a little by his shirt. And yeah, okay, Steve may have taken a step forward.

“I just...want to continue my studies. Eddie’s change...the differences in his make up, his body’s ability to rewrite itself – it could lead to...well, significant discoveries. The data I could gather, imagine the effect on modern medicine, what we might achieve – the potential to help people could be immeasurable.”

“We could...help people?” Eddie echoes.

“Yes, well. We could try. Like I said I would have to do some tests to understand-”

“No,” Steve crosses his arms over his chest.

Next to him, Eddie asks quietly, “what tests?”

“Just...take some blood, for now. Just try to understand how this happened and...what the changes mean on a genetic level.”

“Look, Eddie, you do not have to do a single thing for this guy, okay? This could be dangerous, they could come and take you away again-”

“I would most certainly like to avoid just that,” Owens interjects.

“Oh yeah, right. Sell me on that then,” Steve snaps at him.

“Look,” Owens spreads his hands, he hasn’t moved from his seat on the bed, “I’m the only one who knows about this. The little contact I’ve had with my previous...employers implies that they’re done with the site, they’ve scrubbed the remains of Starcourt, it’s already being filled in. I only know you even exist because I just happened to see you. No one knows Eddie is alive right now, that he didn’t die in his tank, except for me. If I tell anyone they will take him, potentially back to Russia, and I’ll loose access to him. If I inform the American team, I’ll have to admit that I was working for the Russians, which would cause some obvious fall out for me. This way I can just…continue with my work.”

Steve rubs his eyes. It sounds...legit. He guesses. Logical. “Hopper?”

“El says he’s on the level.”

“Jesus fuck,” Steve huffs, walking in a circle.

“Stevie? I want to help people.”

“I know you do baby.”

“Oh, are you two in a relationship-”

Steve finds himself leaning over to point in Owens face, “do not.”

“Okay, okay,” Owens spreads his hands, “look, I think you need to see this from the other side too. What if Eddie gets sick? What are you going to do, take him to the doctor? And what about El, and her powers? What if something comes up with her? I’m more than happy to-”

“I’m sure you are,” Steve stops him, “and you agree with that Hop?”

“I mean, he’s got a point. Don’t think we could take Eddie to a regular doctor, and El was fine with letting him look her over. I mean I maybe don’t agree with the shit he’s been involved in but...I don’t currently have a lot of choice with getting my kids brain powers looked at.”

“I don’t like it.”

Hopper shrugs, “nope.”

“This is such a bad plan.”

“Not as bad as-”

“Don’t you dare-” Steve starts.

“Letting some fish guy-”

“Hopper!” Eddie adds, affronted.

“Bite your toes off.”

[celestie0]

hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)

i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now

although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.

i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense

as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.

anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.

sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.

anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!

[edwinspaynes]

Did I have a really bad night last night in no small part because of a s2 spoiler? Yes. Did I have a Payneland Meltdown? Sure.

But this morning I have gained clarity, and a couple of things have made me feel better about some of the spoilers. I'm going to share them with you in hopes that it will quell some anxiety.

George and Jayden seem extremely excited about the season 2 that they read. It appears super genuine in the new Gameodens, and even if you wanted to argue that it was For the Hype, George also seemed really pumped about them before the show was canceled. They don't seem like performative people regardless, but past behavior also indicates that, yes, the excitement is real.

Both Jayden and George expressed that Charles and Edwin are soulmates. They have read all of the available scripts, and they are still expressing that (very true) sentiment.

They also explicitly said that Edwin and Charles are basically married anyway and that "dating" would be a "step down" for them.

Re: the "fight" that triggered my Episode last night: there is genuinely no way that the boys would have fought for an entire season, let alone forever. It wouldn't make sense and would be antithetical to the entire point of the show. Not to mention George and Jayden having professed them soulmates! "Tense for a lot of it" could mean many things, including that things were tense for a lot of the fight (rather than the season) and got less tense as the fight progressed. "A lot of it" could also just mean 1-2 episodes since they don't really fight.

George and Jayden also explicitly said that disagreements could be healthy, so I'm going to believe that they meant they came out stronger on the other side.

Also, as a kind soul in my comments last night said, there's really nothing for them to fight over besides each other. It probably would have been out of love anyway.

Re: the Catwin sex. Disclaimer is that I don't mind this because I've always thought it would be an interesting plot point. BUT, as a hardcore Payneland shipper myself,I understand why people might not like it. Please remember that it's part of a story! It's the middle of a story, not the ending! Catwin is likely, as I hoped for, a step on the journey toward Edwin figuring out that he only wants these experiences with Charles. Every road leads back to them.

I actually think that Jayden and George might have said that all roads lead to them as well in one of the Gameodens, but I don't know where. Maybe I dreamed it.

We are getting tiny little snippets of 8 hours worth of television. We have maybe a collective 150-character Tweet and 1.5 minutes of out-of-context video spoilers. Catastrophizing doesn't make any logical sense. (I'm not talking down to anyone here, I promise. I'm repeating the mantra I told myself for like an hour last night.)

Season 2 was also not intended to be the last season! They wanted 6! This is Act 2 of 6. It's not even the middle of the story!

[lilybug-02]

My two cents about not recommending catching spiders with your hands - yes I know this wasn't asked for but I just wanna infodump I guess? dshgfljs

Anyway I think it kind of depends where you are, like some countries have little to no spiders that are venomous enough to harm humans, but I heard that Australia has such an abundance of them - so much that they had to stop an episode of Peppa Pig from airing, because it taught kids that spiders won't hurt you. (Look it up it's real)

Other than that I guess picking them up would stress them out a lot! And also we can't really control our force when holding something so small and that puts the spider at bigger risk of injury... etc.

I usually do end up taking them outside with my bare hands because I don't have a cup and/or piece of paper at hand, but I've been restraining myself from touching them just because. (They're very soft)

Hope this wasn't too annoying ^^;;

I never expected to get such interest in whether or not it is a good idea to pick up wild spiders with your hands. But it is such a day ig.

Basically all what you said above. The internet agrees and says it's generally better to not pick wild spiders up as they may become hostile (i.e. bite you) and also that spiders have fragile bodies, making it easy for you to hurt them accidentally. If you are transporting them else-where, it is best to just use a cup and paper. But you can do whatever you want, i'm not your mom.

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

lately I've been reading a lot of anti bottom dean posts in here and I'm a bit sad ;;

i don't think there's anything dean wouldn't do for sam if he asked. so i find it pretty plausible for dean to have bottomed at some point? my vision is for them switching anyway but I will read fics about bottom Sam exclusively or bottom Dean exclusively and I can still rejoice with it

i don't get why bottom dean gets so much hate... i thought wincesties were cool with anything (including mentally disturbing stuff) I don't understand why this is such a problem

[dr3amlab]

Sweet escape ⎯ jjk x reader

SUMMARY. The gala was boring, thankfully, Jungkook was there to save the night.

PAIRING. Jungkook, Y/N

GENRE. pure fluff, rich! jungkook, rich! reader.

WORD COUNT. too lazy

AUTHORS NOTE. hey y'all so I've never been to New York or a bodega so sorryyyyy if it's innacurate.

From the moment you arrived, the gala had felt stifling. The room brimmed with opulence: crystal chandeliers casting golden light, designer gowns glittering like jewels, and tuxedos tailored so sharply they could kill someone. The air was heavy with laughs too perfectly timed and fake smiles plastered constantly on faces, without a break.

This wasn’t simply a gala; it was a marketplace for power. Deals disguised as small talk, people showing off their wealth and champagne glasses clinking with agreements.

Even the champagne in your hand—a rare vintage you’d read about in Forbes—tasted sour on your tongue. You took another sip anyway, more out of habit than enjoyment, your gaze wandering across the room in search of something—anything—to make this night tolerable.

And then you saw him.

Jungkook.

He was leaning against one of the long, polished banquet tables, his posture casual. His tuxedo fit like it had been sculpted directly onto him. His dark eyes caught yours from across the room, his lips immediately curving into a grin at your sight that sent a jolt through your chest.

He raised an eyebrow at you, tilting his head slightly, a silent question.

“What?” you mouthed, trying to stifle a smile.

He didn’t answer, not immediately. Instead, he took a sip from his champagne, set the glass down, and crossed the room toward you with the kind of ease only someone born into this world of wealth could manage. When he reached your side, he leaned down, his voice low and intimate in your ear.

“We’re leaving,” he said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You blinked, startled. “Leaving? What do you mean? We just got here.”

His grin widened, and for a moment, you were sure he was enjoying this far too much. “I mean, we’re ditching this entire circus. Right now. You in or not?”

You hesitated, the weight of expectation pressing on you like a stone. You glanced back at the room—at the glittering chandeliers, the clinking glasses, the meaningless conversations.

Then his hand brushed yours. Warm, steady, and just enough to convince you.

“Fine,” you said, setting your glass down on a passing tray. “But you’re explaining this if anyone asks," you touched his chest with your index fingers, "this is none of my business if we get caught."

“No one will notice,” he said, smirking. “Trust me. These people are too busy pretending they’re not bored out of their minds.”

Without another word, he took your hand and led you through the maze of elites. You moved quickly but without haste, the confidence of your exits as polished as your entrances. People glanced your way, but no one dared to question you; power has a way of silencing curiosity.

The back door clicked shut behind you, and the cool night air hit your skin like a breath of freedom. You stood in the private valet area, lit by soft amber lights that reflected off the sleek lines of luxury cars waiting in neat rows.

Jungkook pulled a key from his pocket, clicking it once. The low purr of an engine answered, and a black Aston Martin rolled forward, sleek and unapologetically expensive.

“You had them bring the car around?” you asked, incredulous.

“What do you think I was doing while you were over there pretending to enjoy your champagne?” he teased, opening the passenger door for you with a dramatic flourish. "Aren't you a villain? You planned this meticulously, didn't you ?" you teased.

You slipped into the seat, the soft leather cradling you like a second skin. He slid into the driver’s seat a moment later, the car’s controls lighting up under his hands as he adjusted the mirrors, tossed his jacket in the backseat and peeled out of the lot with effortless precision.

“Where are we even going?” you asked, kicking off your heels and tucking your feet beneath you. . The gown might have cost more than most people made in a month, but at this moment, you didn’t care if it wrinkled.

“You’ll see,” he said, the city lights reflecting in his eyes as he glanced over at you. “Trust me.”

“Trust you?” you repeated, laughing softly. “You just dragged me out of a $10,000-a-plate gala.”

“And yet,” he countered, his grin mischievous, “you didn’t even try to argue.”

The city blurred past as he navigated the streets with a confidence that felt second nature. Eventually, he pulled into a rooftop parking garage, the kind with a perfect, unobstructed view of the skyline. He killed the engine and stepped out, coming around to open your door.

“This is your big escape plan?” you teased as you stepped out into the crisp air.

“It’s better than pretending to like people I don’t,” he replied, gesturing toward the edge of the rooftop. “Come on.”

The view stole your breath. The city stretched endlessly, a sea of lights glimmering like stars. The faint chill of autumn lingered in the air, sharp and refreshing.

Jungkook leaned against the railing, looking more relaxed than you’d seen him all night. “Worth it?” he asked, his tone softer now.

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. “Worth it.”

He turned to you, his grin taking on that familiar mischievous edge. “So, how does it feel to ditch the gala for a view like this?”

“Liberating,” you admitted, glancing back at the skyline. “Though I’m sure the gossip blogs will have a field day tomorrow.”

“Let them talk,” he said, reaching for your hand. His grip was warm, grounding. “They’d find something to say even if we stayed. Fuck them.”

For the first time that evening, you laughed—a genuine laugh that echoed against the quiet night.

And as the city buzzed below, Jungkook smiled, his gaze lingering on you longer than it did the skyline.

But eventually, reality began to creep back in. You glanced at Jungkook, leaning against the railing with his hair tousled by the wind, looking far too pleased with himself.

“Alright,” you said, breaking the silence. “We’ve officially escaped. What now, genius?”

He tilted his head, considering you with an amused glint in his eyes. “You hungry?”

“Starving,” you admitted. The champagne had done nothing to fill you up, and you’d barely touched the microscopic hors d’oeuvres at the gala.

Jungkook straightened up, his grin turning mischievous again. “Perfect. I know a place.”

“Please tell me this place doesn’t involve a sommelier explaining the origin of the salt,” you said, giving him a pointed look.

“Nope,” he replied, popping the p. “I promise, no reservations required.”

The Aston Martin wound its way down the parking garage ramp. Neon lights and flashing billboards passed by in a blur, the car effortlessly weaving through the sparse late-night traffic.

When he finally slowed to a stop, you glanced out the window and blinked. “A… bodega?”

Sure enough, the glowing yellow awning of a corner bodega greeted you, its hand-painted letters advertising everything from sandwiches to lottery tickets. The fluorescent lights inside flickered slightly, casting a faint greenish hue over the tiny store.

“You’re kidding,” you said, turning to him in disbelief.

He was already grinning as he opened his door. “Come on.”

The bells above the door jingled as you stepped inside, and the sharp scent of deli meats and cleaning solution hit you immediately. The bodega was cramped, its aisles barely wide enough to fit two people side by side. Shelves overflowed with snacks and canned goods, all illuminated by flickering fluorescent lights that gave everything a faintly greenish hue.

And then there was the clerk behind the counter, scrolling on his phone without a care in the world—until he glanced up.

You and Jungkook were so out of place that his reaction was almost comical. Jungkook stood in his tailored tuxedo, the tie long gone and his collar undone. Meanwhile, you clutched your designer heels in one hand, your gown still sparkling like it belonged under a chandelier.

The clerk blinked, his expression shifting from confusion to resignation, as if deciding it wasn’t worth questioning how the two of you had ended up here.

Still holding your hand, Jungkook grabbed a basket from the entrance, swinging it casually as his grin lit up the store. “Alright,” he said, turning to you with a mock-serious tone. “What’s the plan? Sweet, salty, or chaotic?”

“Chaotic,” you replied immediately, scanning a nearby shelf stacked with chips. “If we’re committing to this escape-from-reality thing, we’re doing it right.”

He nodded solemnly. “I respect that.”

The two of you wandered down an aisle together, gravitating toward the snacks like moths to a flame. Jungkook grabbed a bag of spicy chips and tossed it into the basket without hesitation. “Essential,” he declared.

You held up a package of neon-green sour gummies. “How about these?”

He squinted at the package, pretending to deliberate. “Hmm… passable. But only if we balance it with chocolate.”

Rolling your eyes, you plucked a bar of dark chocolate from the shelf and added it to the growing pile. “There. Balance achieved.”

“Perfect.” He picked up a tiny jar of peanut butter, holding it aloft like a trophy. “This too. Trust me.”

“Peanut butter? Really?”

“Yes, peanut butter,” he said, his tone firm as he placed it in the basket. “You’ll thank me later.”

By the time you reached the drinks, the basket was overflowing with a kaleidoscope of snacks—chips, candies, crackers, and even an impulsive pick of pickles. Jungkook studied the rows of soda cans with the intensity of someone analyzing stock market trends.

“Too sweet,” he muttered, putting one back. “Too boring. Ooh, this one has a bunny on it.” He tossed it into the basket with a proud grin.

You laughed, grabbing a can of sparkling water. “And for me, something a little more… refined.”

“Refined?” he echoed, raising a brow. “You’re barefoot in a gown, in a bodega at midnight. I think ‘refined’ left the building about an hour ago.”

You bumped your shoulder against his, grinning. “Let me live.”

As you rounded the corner toward the baked goods, something under the glass display caught your eye: a slightly misshapen cinnamon roll, its icing glistening under the harsh lights. Your heart skipped a beat.

“That,” you said, pointing with conviction, “is mine.”

Jungkook followed your gaze and smirked. “You’re sure? It’s… seen better days.”

“It’s perfect,” you insisted, tapping the glass to signal the clerk.

The man behind the counter shuffled over, raising a single eyebrow at your ensemble but saying nothing as he carefully placed the cinnamon roll in a paper bag.

“Anything else?” he asked, his voice gruff but not unkind.

Jungkook leaned on the counter, his grin playful. “What’s the secret menu? You know, for the cool kids.”

The clerk snorted. “Coffee’s fresh. That’s about as fancy as we get.”

“We’ll take two,” Jungkook said smoothly, ignoring your protests as he handed over a few crisp bills. He grabbed the steaming cups a moment later, holding one out to you with a grin.

You found a small table in the corner of the bodega, the chairs mismatched and the surface slightly sticky, your knees were touching his and the basket of snacks spilled across the table.

“This,” you said, breaking the silence as you tore off another piece of your cinnamon roll, “is the best thing I’ve eaten all night.”

Jungkook smirked, leaning back in his chair and sipping his coffee. “Better than the miniature lobster tarts and gold-dusted macarons?”

“Way better,” you said with conviction. “Although I guess I didn’t eat much of those, did I?”

“Because you were too busy being miserable,” he teased lightly.

“Not anymore.” You met his gaze, your smile softening. “Thanks to you.”

Jungkook reached across the table suddenly, brushing a crumb from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. The gesture was casual, yet it sent a wave of warmth through you that was anything but.

He set down his cup, his expression shifting just slightly, the teasing fading into something quieter. “You know I’d do anything for you, right?”

The words hit you harder than they should have. You felt your breath catch, your heart doing that annoying fluttering thing it always seemed to do when he let his guard down.

“What?” he asked, his grin reappearing as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on the edge of the table. “You look like you’re about to cry. Did the cinnamon roll disappoint you?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “No, it’s perfect. I’m just… I don’t know. Happy, I guess. Like, really happy.”

He didn’t reply right away, just tilted his head slightly, studying you like you were some sort of puzzle he was determined to solve.

The bells above the door jingled faintly every time someone entered, though the bodega was nearly empty at this hour. It made you feel as If your entire world had shrunk to this tiny corner store and it was kind of the case : As long as he was there, you always felt at peace.

Then Jungkook grinned, his expression turning mischievous again. “You realize this makes us official partners in crime, right? There’s no turning back now.”

“Obviously,” you replied, rolling your eyes, though your smile lingered. There was something absurdly perfect about the scene—the flickering lightbulb, the random bodega cat and the ridiculousness of sitting in a bodega dressed to the nines.

“You know,” he said finally, his voice lower now, more serious, “I really mean it Y/N. You're my partner in crime, my person.”

“For life?” you asked, your tone light but your chest tightening at the weight of his gaze.

“For life,” he confirmed, leaning closer.

Your breath hitched as the air between you seemed to shift, and everything faded into the background.

It was just him.

Just you.

And then he leans to kiss you.

Soft, at first, like he wasn’t entirely sure if you’d let him. His lips brushed yours gently, testing, waiting—and when you didn’t pull away, he deepened it, his hand coming up to cradle your jaw. The taste of coffee and cinnamon mingled between you.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested lightly against yours, both of you catching your breath. His grin appeared yet again, though his voice was soft when he spoke.

“Well,” he said, his thumb brushing your cheek, “guess there’s no going back now.”

“Was there ever?” you murmured, smiling against his lips as you leaned in for another kiss, this one bolder, like you were finally letting yourself want this as much as you had all along.

By the time you pulled away again, you were both laughing.

You grabbed the warm paper cup of coffee in your hands and it felt grounding, “partners in crime,” you said, lifting your coffee cup in a toast.

He clinked his cup against yours with a grin so warm it made your chest ache. “For life.”

“I hope you know,” Jungkook said, breaking the comfortable silence, “this means you’re stuck with me.”

You raised your brow. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because no one else would ever agree to ditch a gala and raid a bodega with me. It’s a very specific type of partnership.”

You laughed, tossing a gummy worm at him. He caught it mid-air, popping it into his mouth with a triumphant grin.

“And you think I’m the lucky one?” you teased.

“Obviously,” he replied, his voice light but his gaze warm.

When the two of you finally left the bodega, stepping hand in hand into the cool embrace of the city night, it felt like the world was brand new. The gala, the gowns, the chandeliers—they felt a lifetime away.

Because this moment, this freedom, this sweet escape was yours.

[lungsandlips]

Kade was starting to get a little antsy at the prodding but he wasn't blaming Chloe for it. She had every right to be curious, to worry about him. Last night's episode centered around her and it would make sense to any logical person that she would blame herself even if it wasn't her fault. And it wasn't. "I've been neglecting things for awhile. Even before you and I..." How did he describe the change between her winning a drinking contest between the two of them and what had happened in the bathtub? They weren't dating, even though he would absolutely consider her his girlfriend if he was given permission. But they were something, right? "Seeing my therapist might have helped..." He'd neglected that too, thinking if he just buried himself in work that he'd be too busy for his mind to catch up with him. Unfortunately that seemed to play a big part in his downfall.

"You're not a loser," he argued. "I think we both have a lot of shit we deal with inside of us that comes from different places. I know you don't feel that way but I let the tiny worry that you might not want anything to do with me because of who I am and what I deal with be louder than the voice that knows better." That part of him knew she cared, couldn't deny it. Couldn't let her deny it either, really. It was too obvious. "Can we talk about that stuff later?" If there needed to be more conversation about it, anyway. Kade just needed a break. "If it was an expense to begin with I'm sure we had insurance on it. Shouldn't be hard to get you a new one today." He could see that the conversation was bothering her but he wasn't letting it go just yet. "Hey - this isn't the same as me getting you a gift. Strictly from a business standpoint, you need a new phone. My company pays for that. That's not even really just me. The whole Conroy family operates out of the same company. Makes it easier for us. It's a business expense. Easy to fix. Had to replace my own three times last year."

"Spare sheets are in the linen closet in the hall. I'll help you make the bed. Not that you would know," he teased. "But the spare room is freezing. If we stay in my room I'll let you turn on the floors."

That image of hime will never leave her mind. She knows it's a bold thing to say, but she knows in her gut, it will stay with her. Letting out a small sigh, she hated herself for playing with his mind and emotions. "In what way? If you were to be honest now, what would you say about where you were mentally?" She knew Grace said he couldn't be pushed, but she needed to try. "And would this have built up the way it did if you were seeing your therapist more regularly?" She didn't want to scold him, but she wanted to support him, which means scheduling therapy appointments, both as his assistant and his girlfriend- whoa. The subtlety that thought came to her stunned her for a second, abort, abort, abort. Looking back at him forcefully focusing on him to deter her own inner spiral.

Smiling and letting out a soft chuckle at the thought of slapping him across the face, her facial expression soured the more he divulged his inner thoughts. "Wow, those thoughts either really hate me or are out to get you." She tried to joke. She could see he was embarrassed and her heart hurt for him because he had no reason for it. "You know I don't feel that way right?" She knew he admitted it was a stupid thought, but she wanted him to hear it from her. "Especially when I'm not 'dealing' with you. If anything, you're 'dealing' with me. You have a legitimate diagnosis to back up your stuff, I'm just... a naive and gullible idiot." Chuckling at her own expense. "I don't know," She said awkwardly disliking any talk around money, specifically someone else buying her anything. "It is an expense, technically, but I can get my own phone. You pay be very well to be able to afford a new one." She felt so awkward as if she had insects crawling underneath her skin, "It's fine, I can buy it." She said quickly, desperate for this conversation to be over, "I'll buy it later, or tomorrow, or whenever." She nodded. "You know, I really like getting back into bed idea. Where are your spare sheets? I can go make the bed, or we can use that guest room I've been neglecting."

[opal-kitty333]

So, I like Horror Sans, and being a nerd, I've been thinking about him a lot during my recovery with brain damage. A lot of people treat his wounds like brain damage, giving him memory problems, chronic headaches/migraines, speaking difficulties, fugue states, just issues collecting his thoughts. All understandable and reasonable symptoms, but there's something about just what truly horrific, completely life altering, brain damage to such an extent can do to a person that hasn't been explored very much. Yes, he doesn’t technically have a brain, but considering someone with head trauma like him would be in a comatose like start for weeks to a month, we can choke up him taking that hit like he did and being able to walk and talk to that. Plus, we can take inspiration from real injury and science and have wiggle room for it to not be 100% accurate. Anyway-

This is Phineas Gage.

It is one of the earliest extreme cases of brain damage where the patient survived while psychology as a scientific practice was getting on it's feet. If you've taken a psychology class, you've heard of him. He was a railroad worker foreman who had a rod blown through his skull in an accident, destroy most of his frontal lobe.

If you don’t know what the frontal lobe is it's where your ability to reason and make decisions, the ability to control your muscles voluntarily, and your ability to process knew information and recall old information. It's well known for being the part of your brain that inputs logic, the part gives you the ability to remember what happened last time you picked a fight with someone, so instead you choose to walk away despite how much your want to punch them for being a prick.

As I stated before, this man was a foreman, well known for keeping a level head, being responsible, and hard working. After the injury, that completely changed. Everyone agreed he was barely recognizable as himself. He was impulsive, prone to extreme mood swings, impatient, making massive plans only to almost immediately abandon them, and generally seemed to have no control over his desires or ability to distinguish between a want or a need.

Now, let's look at Horror.

I'd say it's safe to say his frontal lobe but also part of his parietal lobe would be utterly fucked. Your parietal lobe controls your ability to process sensory information (mostly touch) and to understand not only where you and your body is, but to process the world around you. You see a massive enough tent, some clowns running around, the right music, and your parietal lobe is what does the work to label that as a circus.

To have these two structures damaged, or the closest equivalent in a monster, would radically alter Sans' personality, his ability to move, his understanding of the context around him, and connect with others.

He'd become rather self centered on his own desires and beliefs, struggling to even have the patients let alone the want to give other people the time of day. His actions would be impulsive, made on his emotions in the present moment and with little concerns other than the immediate consequences. He'd be prone to loud outbursts, not just rage, but any other emotions like sadness or glee with little ability to realize how he's acting may be overblown or inappropriate. Not only could his ability to put his thoughts into words be a struggle, but his ability to say those words could be affected as well. He'd be very present focused, with pass relations or responsibility mattering little as he keeps marching to the beat of his own drum.

That is, if he could march. He'd not only struggle to know where his limbs are or what he's touching, but his sense of balance would be awful. He'd likely have a constant wobble, having to go slowly and potentially hold onto or lean on things if he wanted to move quickly. God forbid how much he'd bump into furniture or trip and struggle actually grab onto something to catch himself. It's entirely possible he'd have difficulty reading and writing or confusing his left and right regularly. He'd need more time to process a situation and could very easily misidentify what's actually going on could likely lead to him acting even more unpredictable as the world around him is so much more dangerous and he's struggling to fully understand what everyone is doing and trying to keep two steps ahead of everyone around him.

But here's the thing. The brain is also incredibly adaptable in ways your wouldn't believe. Phineas Gage slowly recovered over time. He died twelve years after the incident from epilepsy but over time he slowly regaining his social skills and general functionality. He picked up a job as a stage coach four years after the indecent even. He was never quite the same person he was before, but he wasn't doomed to be what he first was after the indecent.

Imagine what this kind of thing could mean for Sans. Not only would the betrayal cut deep enough and the world falling apart put him through trauma that would shred the soul, but people he trust literally damaged his ability to think logically and control his impulses. Of course he's going to lash out, focus on doing anything he can to survive with little respect for what anyone else thinks. Even forcing his brother to do things and refusing to listen to him unless given no other option. All while he thinks the biggest problems after the indecent is how much his head hurts, how his memory is shot, that it's harder or even down right painful to think, and how he's struggling to cling to his independence while never having the patience or resources to give himself the ability to heal. He doesn't even realize how much he's changed. If you point it out Sans would likely get defensive and aggressive, or brush it off as everyone underground being awful people out to eat each other alive.

But then he gets out to the surface. He gets stable food, a safe place to live. His brother is recovering and as the years pass his mind can finally start pulling itself together and healing, finally. Sans begins to regain his ability to think critically on his own actions and others, his emotional outburst and vindictive behavior start to wind down and fade. He's able to think and start sifting through all the shit he remembers.

The guilt of what he did, the people he hurt for no reason other than pettiness. The stupid decisions he made that hurt himself and/or Papyrus in the long run. All the hindsight he has now. Imagine how much he would bury those memories and thoughts. Justifying everything he could and insisting he had reasons, or that it's just how it was and that everyone was as awful and cruel he was. Or just accepting that what Undyne had done to him and the famine after had ruined him, broken and rotted all the good he had and left him vile and malicious. That he'll never have a chance to truly be who he was before.

[cheshiresense]

Oh my God, you mentioned wanting to write a thing about when Starrk finally let's his reiatsu out, and honestly, I've been thinking about that so much!!! Like here is Starrk, who has been keeping his reiatsu down to around average, who sleeps all the time, so doesn't stand out, who stands beside Ichigo, Ichigo who crazy stands out, also Starrk who joins the 4th, the 4th who everyone else considers to be weaklings!! You imagine the look on everyone's face the first time he let's lose!?! Maybe some bullying goes too far, and Starrk, who nobody thinks much of, just smacks them down hard!!! And everyone is like WTF lol 😆

sorry, I just love the idea of when people realize that Starrk is actually strong like Ichigo!! So 😁 funny!! Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts about this. I love reading them.

Lol yes it's one of those scenes that you see happen in so many different ways and all of them would be fun. I'm undecided on how I want to do it Officially so I'm putting it off (or maybe I'll just write several of them lmao).

I imagine it would have to be very serious bullying for Starrk to take that much action, cuz like he really isn't the sort to step in for every little thing. If it happens to someone he considers one of his, he might note it down and then quietly go and prevent it from happening again from behind the scenes, but in real time, he'd rather diffuse the situation or leave it to the "victim" to handle it and only step in if it looks like they really can't, and even stepping in would just be a sharp word or two to run the bully off. He's not a straightforward bleeding heart the way Ichigo is, cuz the hit-the-problem-so-it's-no-longer-a-problem method is def Ichigo's go-to strategy, he would absolutely smack the shit out of someone bullying Asuka or Rangiku in front of him and be done with it right then and there, prob flaring his reiatsu without even meaning to cuz his control's a lot better these days but it's also kind of 0 to 50, well-hidden or flashing neon sign, no in-between unless he really concentrates 😂 It's another reason Starrk would have little reason of his own to act, cuz like Ichigo would absolutely beat him to it.

For me, I could prob imagine him unleashing his reiatsu/revealing his strength if someone's about to die and the threat is big enough that he actually has to flex. He's just not someone who'd easily show what he can do, and hiding it from the likes of Aizen and the Quincy wouldn't even be his top reason. It's more like lingering PTSD--his strength doesn't bother him anymore now that he's had years of proven control under his belt, and he's even needed every last bit of his power over the past decade of war, but subconsciously, he's still not 100% comfortable with just letting anyone feel it, even tho he has enough control now that it wouldn't hurt them unless he wants it to because what if? So like, his first instinct will always be to keep it locked down, and for minor stuff (altho minor is relative for him I guess lolol), pulling out that much power is def a last resort.

Again, it contrasts what Ichigo would do. Ichigo's just used to overkill. Like even before he got his powers, he learned that an overwhelming show of strength would solve most of his gangster-related problems very easily, plus he lived in a household where Isshin only backed off from kicking him into a wall or something by kicking first or kicking back. And then after he got his powers, it's not even really his fault that he internalized a "might is right" kind of mindset /points at the entire fucking SS invasion arc and honestly every arc after that/. And also he spent his first years of Shinigami-ing running around with an unsealed Zanpakutou and zero reiatsu control, being in a constant state of Shikai is natural for him, and (moving into this AU's headcanon territory) it took him several months into the Quincy War before he finally learned to seal it away and actually have other ways of fighting that isn't just flinging Getsuga Tenshous around. He uses Bankai the way other people use hand-to-hand combat or Kidou spells, so even now, his first instinct is to just hit the problem hard enough so that it won't get back up to do more harm, and for him, that applies to everything from schoolyard bullying to fighting monster-gods. And on top of all that, his actions are largely driven by emotion. More than anything else, his first reflex is to protect, and that often leads to him throwing way more power at a threat than he actually needs to. He knows how to be more subtle these days, but it's not his preferred method and def not a reflex either the way it is with Starrk.

Of course, Starrk also understands "might is right" just by dint of being a Hollow, but he's basically spent a thousand years as someone too strong for anyone to fuck with just by existing, so he doesn't have the same kind of exposure to physical conflict that Ichigo grew up with that would make violence his first instinct.

Aanndd omg this ran away from me lmao sorry, you get a speedrun analysis on Starrk and Ichigo instead 😅

TLDR I'm still not sure of any exact scenarios that would force Starrk to show his hand, I don't want to wait until a Sternritter shows up or a final showdown vs. Aizen happens because that would take forever before we get there (I mean I could just jump right in there since this isn't a whole fic, but in-universe-timeline-wise, I'd prefer it happening earlier), but it's difficult for me to imagine that something in everyday life or even just a Hollow extermination mission would be enough to make him reveal even a bit of what he can really do.

Case in point, if you remember that mission in SP canon where Shunsui brings Ichigo and Rangiku along on a mission into the Rukongai to gain experience, and Ichigo sees a Hollow about to attack Shinji who hadn't spotted it yet, but he also didn't want to leave Rangiku unprotected, he went straight for unsealing his Zanpakutou and basically hand-delivering a shopping list of unusual or downright unique abilities to Aizen via Gin. In this AU, if Starrk goes along, he would never do such a thing, and in fact, he'd stop Ichigo and just fire a damn Byakurai or something across the clearing and kill it that way. Even if Ichigo doesn't have the finesse to pull off a low-numbered Kidou spell on the fly, he could've chosen a higher-numbered one and that would've still revealed far less to Aizen than unsealing his Zanpakutou would. But again, subtlety isn't his strong suit. He now at least has the presence of mind to think about the consequence of leaping into the fray without thought, it would leave Rangiku wide open, but his first instinct is still to use overwhelming strength to protect the people he cares about.

In contrast, Starrk may be a soft touch compared to basically every other Hollow and quite a few Shinigami, but he has the maturity and just the general personality to go for the strategic option. He has a far more tactical mind, implied even in canon to rival Shunsui in that department, so rushing in just isn't in his nature.

The only other way imo is if someone just... asks. Reikaku (reiatsu-sensing) is a thing Shinigami learn. In canon people can sense exactly who's coming just by their reiatsu (if they know them), not just if they're a Shinigami or a Hollow or even a Human, but it doesn't really expand on how. So I imagine you have to have a good feel for the person's reiatsu, it's the same as my age headcanon for reiatsu, not only can someone halfway decent at sensing reiatsu be able to get an idea of the other person's age, they would also be able to recognize and associate that reiatsu signature with that person since everybody's is different, but obviously they would have to be exposed to it a few times to learn it. Starrk's reiatsu is very unique so once or twice would be enough, and I can see a situation where the kids might ask to feel it for that reason, or a mission might require the team leader to ask, etc. etc. So yeah, that's all I got.

[violetasteracademic]

Rambling thoughts post. Won't delete.

I learned a long time ago to stop commenting on the state of the ship war/ SJM fandom as a whole and asking people to be kinder, and anyone who has followed me for a while (which sounds silly to say since I've only been here since March) has likely witnessed my slow disillusionment of the SJM fandom space. As my therapist said, if you keep trying to clean up debris in someone's house who refuses to fix their roof, you'll drain yourself for nothing. (That was about my ex husband but hey I think it applies here.) I've also realized that in the long run, individual creators don't matter, really. There are too many creators in this space who burn out and disappear and even if it upsets or disappoints people in the moment, there is always someone to replace them. I'm very replaceable. My thoughts really don't matter. But here they are anyway.

The SJM tumblr space is extremely hostile and negative. But it isn't all hostile and negative, and the more I filter out the shipwar content and anti content (seriously, I have filters on anti elriel, anti gwynriel, anti elucien, and shipwar buzzwords like delusional, reading comprehension, touch grass, ECT and thank you to my dear friend @yourstarsmyscars for showing me how much more the filters can do than I realized!) the more free I am to see how many kind and wonderful creators there are on here making cute art and amazing fanfics and nourishing a positive fandom ecosystem.

Again, I don't matter in the long run. I'm not sure how many people even still follow me really since I've stopped engaging in the shipwars beyond art, fics, and kind posts. But I do want to let anyone out there who, like me, has had their tolerance for the ship wars plummet to the core of the earth, break through the crust in the middle of the Pacific ocean, and then drift into space, know that there IS kindness in this fandom beyond the noise. There are people doing great work on all sides, who are welcoming to all, and just trying to create something people will enjoy.

I can't say I'll be here forever, or even much longer. But I feel moved to signal boost the positivity. I also know that, although I do believe I tried very hard to be positive and not insulting the majority of the time, I had days that I let the negativity get to me and I was snarkier than I wish I would have been. I'm truly sorry if I ever made a post that even remotely hurt anyone's feelings or added to the negativity. I'd go back and delete them, but frankly they are my most popular posts and still get reblogged so it feels sort of pointless since reblogs don't get deleted.

Although I am an Elriel in my heart of hearts, I want to continue to be a welcoming space for all. If that means my followers get cut in half or only a few people interact with my posts, that's okay with me. I can't try to patch the roof of the fandom, but I can keep my own space toasty and warm for anyone looking for reprieve, regardless of who you ship. I've stated multiple times here that I'm the only Elriel in my IRL friendships, and I love my friends dearly. I tried to speak to Tumblr as a whole the way I'd speak to them, and I didn't always do that. But the world is too abysmal and scary and a lot of SJM fans come online and struggle to find a space that isn't extremely hostile and negative.

Here's to all the goofy little spooks making art, fics, texts, and transcending the shipwars and just trying to connect over the things we love.

In the words of our Lord and Savior Taylor Swift, I want to be defined by the things I love, not the things I hate.

Also still committed to writing a banger Elain Lucien and Azriel throuple once I get through my laundry list of current fics. Maybe a quadruple with Gwyn. Maybe I'll just write a giant orgy, actually.

[illmoraineakoi]

Do you guys think that if Chosen ever learned of the 'deal' Orange made with Alan in AvA4, he'd automatically see it as Alan using it to indenture Orange to him and blow a gasket?

Especially if Orange recounted the deal incorrectly, or perhaps even if Orange himself misinterpreted or misunderstood it.

Because the original wording of the deal was "If you help me animate, I'll let you free so long as you don't wreck my computer."

Alan likely meant this to mean that so long as Orange didn't mess up the computer and helped him animate, Orange would be allowed to live on the computer. Which is already a little questionable, placing a stipulation on having a place to live. A very 'earn your keep' sort of vibe.

But the original deal makes no mention of RGBY or their role in everything. Honestly, it seems like they just kinda moved onto the desktop at some point between 2015-2017. But like most things with Orange, things tend to revolve more around them than himself, when it comes to his priorities.

So I don't think it's too out of the question to think that Orange automatically pooled them in with himself in this deal, and they became another factor of it when they originally weren't involved at all.

A common interpretation I've seen is Orange misunderstanding the deal, and thinking that if he helps Alan animate, his friends get to stay too. IE: If he doesn't, Alan reserved the right to kick them off or bar access to the computer from them. Placing a stipulation not just on Orange's own ability to have a place to live, but on his ability to see and have access to his friends. Turning it into a privilege earned by fulfilling the responsibilities expected of him.

Orange undoubtedly likes to animate with Alan, that's not an issue, but perhaps he still thinks that he has a responsibility to do it in order to maintain the status quo of not just his life, but all of their lives. Maybe he sees it as a sort of 'payment', in a way. Perhaps he doesn't even really believe that Alan would be mean enough to revoke those things from him, to do what is his right to by the terms of their deal, but there's a part of him that's secretly unwilling to chance it.

Or perhaps he doesn't even think the deal is active anymore. It's been so many years, after all, and they've ruined Alan's files multiple times (unintentionally) and nothing's happened. It could've long since become null and void.

But from Chosen's perspective, it would likely seem a lot worse than Orange ever thought it was. Perhaps even worse than ALAN realized it was.

Because Alan has put a price tag on Orange's right to even have a place to live. A price tag (potentially) on his ability to see and interact with his friends. A price tag on his nice, happy life. Maybe even a price tag on his very life.

And I think Chosen would be very upset about that. And perhaps even more upset when Orange seems confused about why he's upset about it, when Orange doesn't understand how predatory it looked from Chosen's perspective.

After all, it's not even a very big price tag. It's just a little animating. It's not that bad, and Orange likes doing it anyway, so what's the problem?

But at the end of the day, it is still little more than a ball and chain made of words and letters, binding him to doing what Alan wants him to do with the potential threat of ruthless punishment should he disobey or rebel of cause harm to the computer.

And really, what difference is there, between using a stick figure as a pop up blocker and using one as an animating assistant? Does the fact that he enjoys it really outweigh or justify the fact that you've placed a condition on his very livelihood since the day of his creation?

Yeah. Chosen would not be happy.

[cavedraconem]

Local Maximums

A while back I read an opinion piece my a woman who was upset about the state of grocery shopping these days. I can't really disagree with the basic premise that food in NZ is too expensive and this causes a lot of trouble for people who are living paycheck to paycheck. And shopping at the supermarket can be pretty stressful for a variety of reasons!

BUT, when the writer started to describe her shopping process... it was a massive odyssey. Of a Saturday she was dragging herself and her kids through multiple different shops - a Pak n Save, a Countdown, a fruit & veggie shop, maybe even a butcher as well - looking for the cheapest everything to stretch her budget, the particular whatever her husband wanted, the brand of snacks that her autistic child would eat. Of course she was sitting in traffic and fighting for parking and struggling with the kids and navigating trolleys at every single one of these locations. It sounded incredibly stressful! And she was incredibly stressed about it by the time she got home (and so were the kids).

"Surely just buying food shouldn't be this difficult?" she cried. And, well... no, I don't think it should be. Obviously I don't know every detail of this woman's life and I probably have extreme DINK privilege, but the ordeal she tried to pose as relatable seemed to me largely self-inflicted. Some of these issues seem trivially solvable: if you know your kid will only eat one type of snack, why wouldn't you just buy ten boxes at once? Can you plan ahead and click & collect any of these shops so you don't have to drag the kids around the supermarket itself? Can you pop out by yourself on a quiet evening?

And then we get into some more speculative cost-benefit questions that will depend on the exact details. Are the vegetables from the fruit & veggie shop cheaper enough to make up for the petrol you spend driving there? (Petrol is also expensive in my beautiful country.) What value do you really place on your time and stress? Is the money saved or the special thing for your husband really, genuinely worth the effort? If you are doing all of this work to save money, could you instead work a bit more to earn more money instead? Add a couple of extra hours a week onto your contract so you can afford to shop at a nicer supermarket or get groceries delivered, and save that much time or more on the weekend, plus less screaming from your children.

(By the way, I got that last idea from an old flatmate of mine. His philosophy was that it was better for him to work an extra hour every night and get takeaways for dinner than to spend that hour cooking something cheaper but not very good. I would have been more convinced by this [and his related opinions about division of labour] if he hadn't been allowing his PhD student girlfriend to cook him literally three meals a day.)

Anyway, this writer spectacularly failed to make her problems relatable to me, but there probably is something to be learned here. It's about how easy it is to reach a local maximum in your life: where you look at what you're doing and think, this is the best way I could possibly be doing it. But you're wrong! Maybe you've optimised your routine along one axis (e.g. cost) but totally neglected other axes (e.g. time/stress). You're making tradeoffs that you don't realise you're making. Things that you think are non-negotiable might actually be pretty easy to compromise on. It can take an outside perspective and a bit of convincing or experimentation to even realise that other possibilities exist, and maybe some of them are even better than what you're doing now.

So, in the end it's a good reminder to me to question my routines and ask whether I've trapped myself in any local maximums. What is stressing me out now that could be easier? Does everyone else have so much trouble with this? What opportunities am I missing? Surely it shouldn't be this difficult?

[leoruby-draws]

I did a whole bunch of drawings for Jason's team two weeks back, so now its time to concentrate on Steph's team! Here we've got 4 new characters for her team, with a couple extra tomorrow as well. Lets go into to them, one by one.

First up is the lantern for the group, more specifically a Violet Lantern apprentice aka Miri Riam! Her reasons for coming to earth is unknown at the moment but they seem to have some connection to Carol Ferris. Carol's also a Violet Lantern and Hal's(Green Lantern) on-and-off girlfriend and occasional antagonist. Perhaps Miri was sent to become Carol's apprentice? I've got more info on whats happening there, but thats for later.

As for why Miri was chosen for the group, I knew I wanted some kind of Lantern for the team, but couldn't find a green lantern that was both in Steph's age group and have fun interactions with them. But then I thought, does it have to be a green lantern? I had a red lantern for Jason's group after all. I looked around and found Miri! I don't know her exact age but I knew she was a young adult, so I'm just gonna have her be around Steph's age group.

The Violet Lanterns Corps are very ...enthusiastic about the power of love and Miri's no exception. She wants everyone to know the joy of Love, she's honestly kinda annoying about it. I remember this one GL issue where she was destroying a city just to get Kyle and Soranik to resolve their love troubles. That pretty much became the basis for how I'm writing Miri's personality. Like I said above, I'll get more into Miri at a later time.

Next is Maxine Hunkel aka Cyclone, granddaughter of Ma Hunkel aka the golden age Red Tornado! I already posted a drawing of her a while back, I thought she'd make a fun fit for the team. She's has such high energy and so much enthusiasm I couldn't help but find her utterly endearing. I think at a later point she'll end up joining the JSA but for now she's just having fun with this team.

Btw I thought that maybe her grandmother, Ma Hunkel, could fit a similar role that the other Red Tornado did for Young Justice, helping out a young hero team. Just a way to emphasize how Steph and Tim's teams can serve as foils to each other.

Next up is the archer of the group, Mia Dearden aka Speedy II. Tho she should probably have a different name due to Roy still being Speedy atm. Maybe Speedette? Ehhh, gotta workshop that.

Anyways here's Mia and Steph meeting as civilians, with Mia showing off her bow. Mia seems to be in some sort of school uniform, perhaps Oliver is sponsoring her to go to a fancy academy? Her backstory is similar to canon, with Oliver saving her from bad people. I'm not sure if her story should be exactly the same as canon, since Mia is 10 but terrible things like that do happen in real life to young children. But I don't know if a goofy au like mine is the best place to show that. But for now lets just say Mia is currently trying to heal and become a hero like Green Arrow.

I imagine Steph and Mia get along really well, they just get each other in a lot of ways. Steph can see Mia might be hurting inside and wants to cheer her up, hopefully with all of Mia's new friends she can.

Last up is Jaime Reyes aka Blue Beetle III. Unfortunately I haven't drawn him all that much so no individual drawing for him, tho I do like him.

As for why Jaime, I remember liking him in the YJ cartoon and found him pretty likeable in the comics as well. But I've always like the spiderman hero archetype anyways, which Jaime fits really well (I mean, it was done on purpose). Static and Sideways also fit the archetype and are in the team as well. Arguably you can say add Steph to this too, probably more than Tim in my personal opinion.

Another reason I wanted to add Jaime is that he and Steph almost became teammates in canon, in a failed Young Justice project. What could have been huh. Third reason is more silly tho, if Barbara and Ted Kord start to date in this au, imagine how grossed out Steph and Jaime will be lmao.

So there's four new teammates for the team, but! I've got a couple extra for tomorrow! And later on I hope to finally post some more doodles of these characters (some of them are real old, more than a year old). Especially Miri, she turned out to be such a fun character, and I've always liked the all the lantern corps. Here's a bonus doodle of them btw (with bonus unmasked Sideways):

So many new members, well, hope you liked all that!

[jules-ln]

Ok, so I can't stop thinking about Viktor in Arcane lmao

Not so much because I like him (which I do lmao) but more because his arc seems like convoluted mess of knots at first glance, and I don't understand it completely and I need to put this puzzle together

Also, honestly Arcane it's the perfect case for why "show, don't tell" isn't always good as it left a lot of things incredibly vague, things I think they should've stopped and clarify more

So let me take his character apart from the beginning to understand him

Spoilers btw

First I want to talk about Viktor's disability because apparently it was a big deal

I say apparently because at first I thought it wasn't a big deal for Viktor, it was just part of who he was

Like the first time we see him, he's confident, he seems secure in himself and the show itself doesn't seem to make a big deal out of him using his cane

But turns out that getting rid of his disability it was actually a big deal for Viktor and I want to search for an explanation that isn't that the writers probably had a subconscious bias about disability

Tbh I always thought that it was kind of implied that Viktor's disability was a result of his parents being exposed to dangerous chemicals in Zaun, like it wasn't just his sickness that was a result of being born in Zaun, but also his leg, don't know if it's just me but anyway the author is dead moving on

I'm saying this because it would make sense at least for Viktor to think that way. Because in his mind it's his disability = his sickness = the problems in Zaun. These three things aren't different for him, is one and the same problem that needs to be solved

This is also shown when Viktor is experimenting in himself with the Hexcore and instead of doing something that might help him idk stop coughing blood, the first thing he does is trying to undo his disability. And I've seen some people ask why the hell is Viktor more worried about his disability than the thing that's actually killing him. It's because in Viktor's mind is the same thing

Now, we can actually see hints that Viktor might resent his disability (and Zaun by extension) in the boat scene when he's a child, where even though his genius is great, his disability stops him from reaching the boat, from reaching his full potential (at least in Viktor's mind)

He resents not being able to be who he wants, who he could be if he had been born in Piltover and puts the blame on his disability and Zaun

This actually makes sense with later scenes when Viktor and Jayce show off what they've been working on to Heimmerdinger, the gauntlets and the claw (arm?). If Viktor and Jayce were working on these two things separately, very telling that Viktor's project (the claw) focuses on artisans, who are still "a step above" than the miners Jayce is focusing on. But if they're working together on the projects, we see that Viktor actually doesn't really wants to help Zaun

Because, what are these? Gauntlets and a claw to make people work faster? These are the solutions Viktor (and Jayce) come up when confronted with Zaun's problems, not actually helping them attack the root of the the problem. Like Miners have to spent hours working in dangerous conditions that affect their health? Well, let's give them something so they can work faster. This is merely palliative care, not caring to actually solve the real problem

Which leads me to the next point, Viktor doesn't actually wants to help Zaun to become a better place, he wants to get rid of the Zaun of now and transform it in Piltover 2.0. In his mind this isn't about helping Zaun, but getting rid of the thing that caused his disability and sickness, metaphorically eliminating them both

We can see this in Viktor's commune

Because, Zaun, even when it looks dirty and dark, all in all doesn't look ugly, like any place where poor people live, it's also full of individuality and self expression, art that's fighting to exist. Compare it to Piltover's Art deco and art nouveau inspired architecture that while, yes, everything looks very beautiful, it also looks very same-y

Viktor's commune also looks very same-y and in a way a bit Piltover inspired. Contrast Viktor's commune to the alternative universe we see where things are better in Zaun, it looks brighter and cleaner, but it also didn't lose any of the self expression and individuality that Zaun has. Individuality that is lost in Viktor's perfect world

Because again, it wasn't about Zaun, or about helping people, it was about Viktor taking something, destroying it, and substituting it with something he believes to be perfect. Perfect without any kind of disabilities that might hold Viktor back (which isn't true but that's what Viktor believes)

This sentiment later comes back when he tries his glorious evolution

Now about Jayce

Part of why I didn't understand Viktor's characterization at first was because I wasn't seeing the whole, I was missing a crucial part of the puzzle, and that was Jayce

At first I thought that Viktor was only interested in Jayce because of his idea of Hextech. But no.

The first time Viktor and Jayce meet, Viktor seems only mildly interested in Jayce's idea, but not enough to actually do something to help him, he was there because he had a job to do, he had to make sure that Jayce was arrested, only that

It wasn't until the judgement that Viktor actually takes an interest in Jayce, but not because of his idea

Viktor was attracted by Jayce's willingness to defend what he thought was right even when everyone else went against him. His personality and fierceness was the thing that later made Viktor take another look at Jayce's investigation

Compare it to how Mel first approached Jayce

Mel and Viktor are very similar in that both want to make something perfect (Mel wants a perfect Piltover, Viktor wants a perfect Zaun and later a perfect world), but they have different motivations. Mel wants to make a perfect city so that she later can gift it to her mother and prove that she's worthy of her love and affection, and that she's worthy of being part of her family

So in the judgment, Mel first sees and is interested by Jayce's idea, because it's something that can get her closer to her goal of being back with her family. Later she's interested in the inventor

But with Viktor is the opposite, he first is interested in Jayce as a man, that's what later attracts him to his dream

(Side note It's also worth noting that I think Arcane takes away Jayce's role in LoL of being Viktor's rival and gives it to Mel. More than that, with both Mel and Viktor being mages and Mel's magic being the thing that stops Viktor during the first fight between him and Jayce. I think that if Mel was more powerful, or Viktor was less overpowered [what the fuck arcane's writers, he's literally a freaking God] she could've stopped him)

Now this is important because I truly don't think Viktor's characterization makes sense unless he genuinely likes/loves Jayce without ulterior motives

In the rest of the first season, we see how Viktor slowly self isolates, in part because Jayce is leaving him behind to be with Mel, so that leads to Viktor taking more and more risks in a bit of a self destructive way, and I think this is in part because Jayce isn't with him. He probably also thinks it's his sickness the thing that's making Jayce go away, that's why he's trying to hide it in the beginning but I'm not to sure about that lmao

This later causes Sky's death, and I think her death is very important for Viktor. Not because he actually feels something for her, but because it's something that makes him feel very guilty

Because, if in the first season Viktor's actions were motivated in part because Jayce went away, then why Viktor's first instinct is to go away in the second season?

It's because of the guilt

In Viktor's mind he not only killed Sky, he's now the thing that killed sky. That plus the fact of how Jayce's acted during the bridge, hating on the zaunites. He probably thinks that Jayce doesn't care about him anymore

When he says "it was affection that held us together" he probably didn't mean it in a "I don't care about you anymore" but more in a "you don't care about me anymore, and you probably shouldn't anyway because there's no reason for you to do so"

When he goes away and creates a cult in Zaun, it's because Viktor is trying to redeem himself and make their dream come true. Viktor's commune is his version of their dream, a little bubble of perfection in an imperfect world

Of course that's not what Jayce wanted or meant when he thought about their dream, but that's just how Viktor misinterpreted it

That's why he's so insistent that Jayce go to see him after he's back from the future, because their dream wouldn't be complete unless it was both of them in it

So when Jayce shoot him, Viktor didn't think that maybe what he was doing was wrong, or that maybe he was crossing a line he shouldn't. When Jayce shoot him, he took it as Jayce rejecting not only their dream, but also Viktor himself

So he was hurt, he was angry. And in his hurt, the first thing he did was trying to justify his emotions by logic. The problem wasn't that what Viktor wanted was wrong. The problem was those pesky emotions messed everything up and if he just could get rid of them then their dream would become true and truly perfect (and Jayce wouldn't reject him). So he needed to get rid of emotions it didn't matter if he hurt the entire world (and Jayce) in his path to do so, more than that it was justified in his mind

I see what Viktor did after Jayce shoot him as he basically saying "I was trying to do this in the nice way, but now I'm angry and I'll show you what I'm truly capable of"

Ironically, his speech about what motivates humanity's greatest good is also what makes them do their greatest evil applies to Viktor 100%, his affection for Jayce is the thing that motivates him to help and to hurt everyone else

I also think that Viktor knew he was in part taking away some of the free will of the people in the commune, he probably just thought it wasn't doing them any harm, just taking away their "disability"

Now, in the future, Viktor realized that perfection, getting rid of humanity's mistakes, and getting rid of his disability; wasn't what he truly wanted, the thing that he truly wanted was to not be alone, and to be worthy of love, and Jayce was the only one who didn't make Viktor feel alone. So when Jayce hugged Viktor and showed him what he saw, I actually think it was like Viktor of the future telling his past self "this is not what you want, this is a mistake"

I also don't think Viktor learned to accept his disabilities in the end; because a heartfelt speech about loving yourself isn't going to make you forget a life of prejudice just like that lmao

But I do think that in that moment when Jayce showed him the future, he recognized that what he was doing was a mistake and stopped

In the end he got what he truly wanted, which was not being alone, being loved, and to be with Jayce, even if their dream of making the world a better place didn't become true

I read somewhere that Viktor in the game was inspired by Doctor Doom, and Idk if that's true. But if I had to compare Arcane Viktor to somebody in Marvel, it would be the Scarlet Witch (here I am thinking about fanart of Viktor dressed as the Scarlet Witch lmao), an extremely powerful being that gets carried away by their emotions, and ends up doing horrible things with good intentions

Yeah, I understand him a bit better now lmao