#anyway I'll shut up now I promise
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Ok, So I adore your KenBig art even though I have absolutely zero idea of what the fandom is about haha, would love to hear more about them because I can tell you're so passionate.
Thank you so much!Ā
I am !! Very Passionate about them yes adhjfkshjks let me try to break them down for you without making it a 3 hour TED talk lmao (no promises)
So they're two minor side characters from the Thai bl series KinnPorsche, also known as The Gay Mafia Show. At the beginning of the series Big is the head bodyguard for Kinn, who he is secretly (and quite hopelessly) in love with and who is the heir to the family's mafia empire. He is Loyal with a capital L, fiercely protective of Kinn, a little (a lot) pathetic in his devotion and quite frankly a bit of a dick. Ken is just Ken his best friend, also a bodyguard for the Main Family and also a bit of a dick. He's from Australia originally and brings us delightful iconic phrases like "nice one, loser" and "are you fucking dumb, bro". Also, pineapple boxer briefs. You mostly see the two of them together and when they show up it's usually to be a bitch and/or to bully Porsche, who is the other main character and love interest for Kinn (hence the name of the show).
They're terrible people is what I'm saying. But then again so is almost everyone else on the show lmao it's the mafia ok!!
It's never explicitly stated in the show but we see other bodyguards room together (namely Porsche and Pete) so the widely accepted headcanon is that Ken and Big are roommates (oh my god they were roommates etc etc) and just because I live for this kind of thing I have convinced myself (and others, apparently! through the power of art) that while Big is hopelessly in love with Kinn (canon), Ken is hopelessly in love with Big (canon in my heart). It's about the pining and the tragedy and a secret third thing (jealousy) for me
Well. I don't want to spoil too much in case you're ever planning on watching it but it's kind of important for them, so ... towards the end of the show Big ends up sacrificing himself for Porsche (or rather, for Kinn's happiness) and dies not knowing that Ken is the mole they've been searching for and is actually working for the Minor Family (so, for Kinn's cousin and uncle who are the main villains in the series). But Ken is killed as well, at roughly the same time just at a different place and at the hand of his actual employer Gun, so they both end up dead.
Which, you know, I personally think is unacceptable because I love them and don't want it to end there, so most (but not all) of my art is set in an AU that I brainstormed with my partner @pharawee in which they both survive and then have to deal with the consequences of their actions (which is absolutely delicious to me because man!! You have Big who is so desperately loyal but has been kind of struggling to find his place now that Porsche is there, and Ken who betrayed everything Big held dear but !! Is also his best friend!!! But is he really? Has he ever really been his friend at all?? And if Ken is a traitor what does that make him who has been sharing everything with him?? Bonus points since Ken is in love with him and never wanted to betray Big personally. So much potential for angst I am telling you, it's a feast), and then eventually they find comfort in each other and carve out their own path. If you're interested you can read the beginning on ao3.
In other headcanons there's been a Thing going on between them all along and sometimes they still die. Or they don't but everything is still fucked up. Either way it's all good and I'm here for all of it hehe
So this is shaping up to turn into that 3 hour TED talk after all which is why I'll stop here, but if you have literally any other questions or are interested in hearing more I would be prepared to go on for hours lmao sorry (but not really).
#replies#elleweird#kenbig#kinnporsche#look the show is really good#and kinn and porsche's story is genuinely worth watching on its own#but I'm a sucker for both loyal lapdog characters AND traitors. AND pining idiots too actually#so it's no wonder really that I latched onto these two minor side characters lmao they were made in a lab for me specifically#especially since they go so well together even in the show. and the tragedy of it all you know#we don't see enough of them but that just means that ... we don't see enough of them !! if you know what I mean#anything is possible! we don't KNOW what these two are up to while everything else is going on#we read between the lines here in the land of denial#anyway I'll shut up now I promise
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secret admirer part twenty-six
679 words
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five
Steve studies Eddieās sketches with a frown. Theyāre thumbnails of people in different positions, and Steve canāt help but compare them to his own. Perhaps he simply has to come to terms with the fact that heāll never be a good artist. He thought he was improving, given all the time and effort heās putting into the portraits, especially Eddieās, but no. He still sucks.
The point of the assignment wasnāt to make the drawings good - only to provide a quick recap on anatomy. Still, though, Eddieās are good. And Steveāsā¦ Well, at least Steve isnāt going to get a poor grade (because thatās frowned upon when the student tries their best).
The figures on his paper are unproportionate and vaguely unsettling, like his art tends to be.
āThey canāt be that bad, Steve,ā Eddie says, naively.
Steve had unthinkingly shielded his paper from the other teen - a habit heād picked up from the project, and when Steve had asked, Eddie had handed his own over passively because heās a fucking art prodigy, apparently.
Steve slumps in his seat and places his paper in front of Eddie. He hadnāt even pushed to see it. Not once. Now, he picks it up and studies the sketches for a solid minute, brows furrowed in concentration.Ā
Steveās frown deepens considerably. Heās beginning to regret handing it over for judgment. Eventually, though, Eddie sets the paper on the table and looks up to make sure he has Steveās attention before he issues his verdict. As if Steveās attention is ever directed elsewhere.
Once assured Steveās eyes are on him, Eddie picks up his pencil and hovers over the paper with the eraser aimed at it. āMay I?ā he questions.Ā
Steve huffs. "Sure. āS not like they can get any worse," he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. Eddie erases things here and there. Steve thinks he's about to begin fixing the drawings, but he simply straightens and slides the paper over to Steve. He leans in close and points to one of the places he had erased. "Okay, so...āĀ
He continues to suggest ways Steve could make them look more like the references.Ā
At the end of class, Steve actually feels better footed - ready to finish up his portraits. He's almost done with his own, actually, and he only needs a few more things until he'll be satisfied with Eddie's.Ā
The bell rings and Steve turns to make plans with Eddie only to find the teen already looking at him expectantly. "Uh, my place?" Steve suggests. It's only fair after Eddie had hosted on Monday.Ā
Eddie nods in acknowledgement. "Sounds good, Stevie."
Steve clears his throat, trying not to let it show that heās aware his face has begun to flame with the arrival of the nickname.Ā
Stevie.Ā
It's not like it's unprecedented, people have called him Stevie here and there for as long as he can remember.
It feels different coming from Eddie, though. Makes him feel special.
"You wanna follow my car, then?" Steve asks, standing from his seat finally.Ā
Eddie levels him with a look that's hard to interpret. "Bold of you to assume the entire school doesn't know where your castle is, Mr. Keg King."Ā
Right, he'd forgotten about the parties.Ā
Steve scratches his check. "Huh, right. Meet you there?ā
Eddie agrees and Steve finally takes his leave.Ā
Hours later, when dismissal has rolled around, Steve is trying to remember what state he'd left the house in that morning.
He doesnāt go to his locker even though Eddieās library book - which heād picked up yesterday - is in his locker and heād wanted to grab it for tonight. He's trying to avoid Tommy. He knows his friend will just act like nothing ever happened. And to him, nothing did. He's probably forgotten already, honestly.Ā
Steve doesn't forget - he never does.
He goes straight to his bimmer and unlocks and opens the door, but as heās about to descend into his seat, a hand claps him on the back and he straightens again.Ā
So, Tommy's found him anyway. Great.
tag list (closed)
@sofadofax @noodle-shenaniganery @queenie-ofthe-void @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @devondespresso
@dreamingtheimpossibe @plutoshelm @jaywhohasthegay @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie
@dreamy-jeans137 @justdrugsformethanks @estrellami-1 @travelingtwentysomething @sleepy-steve
@wheneverfeasible @bisexual-and-broke @lil-gremlin-things @n0-1-important @xxbottlecapx
@tinyplanet95 @dannys-guilt-ridden-cockroach @theohohmoment @corvus-perplexus @hippieg1rl420
@blurryjoji @bookbinderbitch @arthurianace @dragonmama76 @thesuninyaface
@tillystealeaves @p0lybl4nkk @sageclipse @mugloversonly @chameleonhair
@thedragonsaunt @yesdangerpls @sanctumdemunson @slv-333 @loguine-linguine
@resident-gay-bitch @anaibis @moomkin77 @thrashbatx @salchica
@flustratedcas @ajeff855 @nerdyglassescheeseychick @pearynice @imaginary-maggie-waggie
#guyssssss#i wanna finish this so bad you have no idea#i can't promise it'll be speedy#but i can promise that i am NOT giving up on this story#i love these idiots too much to leave them (and you guys) hanging#it's just that the writing was already inching along what with school and work and drama#but now that i'm hardly even reading for steddie anymore...#let's just say#yikes#i love hearing how much you guys like this series#it's what motivates me to get more stuff out there#anyways this is what i had written before buddie took over my life and brain#also sorry is this is bad#i'll shut up now#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie#tommy hagan
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i've been playing the game in my own time but i gotta share this lil angel cus she's the cutest toddler my sims have ever had
#ts4#sims 4#hello hiii casually posting as if i didn't disappear for a few months#lifes just been beating me up these past two months and i ended up shutting everything out#the last two weeks have been particularly rough#but i'm still kicking šš»#i've been playing a lot of fortnite and terraria and wobbledogs#sorry for ignoring all my asks and dms and mentions since like fucking april#jesus christ its september now. where'd the time go#anyways GRACIE ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø#full name gracie-lynn dufford#her mom is one of my favourite sims i've ever made#i'll probably start posting more soon enough since college is starting back up and all my procrastination habits will come back to me#you will see more of this lil cutie and her family#hope everyone's keeping well ā¤ļøā¤ļø#i will try to answer some asks and stuff tonight#no promises tho i'm sorry#bye til then <3
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whyyyy do i feel like i would be ~cheating~ on quentin and eliot if i decided i wanted to write fic for another pairing from another fandom... someone plsssss tell my brain to stop being so silly š
#i just wanna write louis being problematic with dream!lestat in paris ONE TIME#i also don't want to join a new fandom at alllll so... that's a whole thing i guess lol#ugh anyway i'll proooobably write it because it's just going to be a smutty oneshot so Not A Big Deal but my brain is VERY silly#it's just weird to write for the same pairing for over 5 years and then.............#i just wanna bang louis and lestat together like barbie dolls and make them bite each other like cats you know.......#and they scratch a very particular dark itch in my brain the same way hannigram always did lol#but i promise this does not mean i'm not writing queliot anymore!!!!#ANYWAY SHUTTING UP NOW
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days 5 and 6 for scrunkly week!! shioriko is rlly cute and rupa's hair is growing out (:
#crow's scribbles#scrunkly week#love live nijigasaki#shioriko mifune#girls band cry#rupa girls band cry#<- i. idk how to tag rupa orz....#ofc i had to draw something relating to rupa's family for her :3#sorry for shitty lighting btw it's really rushed and i wished i couldve done more but this is the best i can do atm#i promise to put out better gbc fanart next time!!!#ive been trying to learn how to draw toge toge and it's been a PAIN!!#momoka and subaru are the ones making it difficult; nina tomo and rupa are ok#anyway. shioriko!! i drew shioko bc i missed her :< i listened to some of her solos and AUGH i love moepii's voice so much#i should draw her interacting w the other pii characters hehe#i love drawing them <3 anyway i'll shut up now bye
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It's literally 1AM but I just discovered the aria "Come away, death" by Thomas Arne and????? Most Dora-coded song I've ever heard??????????
#take this as a music rec too#i see my oc blorbo everywhere <3<3 <- op is sane. op promises.#anyway: gonna go sleep now#writeblr#devourer of souls wip#my wips#technically not writing#no bc Dora was the only one i could never find a song for!! and now i have!!!!!#and she and Theo both have english arias in their playlists which is fun!!!#Theo's is āWhen I am laid in Earthā btw#not a 100% fit in all aspects but it works well for me#and ain't that what it's all about?#i'll shut up in a sec but i got the sudden urge to learn how to sing āCome away deathā now...#ok NOW i'm going to sleep. night night <3
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the spaceship
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: James Bond/Q Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Domestic, Developing Relationship, Q's cats, Happy Ending Summary:
Owner calls the nest I am sitting in The Spaceship. --- The best view in Q's house is from the cat tree.
[Read on AO3]
#007 fest 2023#teambondvillains#00q#james bond#i know i know i'm bombarding you all today#this won't be the pace every day of july lol i promise#i'm just excited today and my brain is going SHOW THEM THINGS#also i'm actually around to interact!#going on holiday next week and might not be around as much#anyway look at me justifying being cringe and doing the thing i love - i'll shut up now
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"Starting the shitty exes club. No we were never actually together, shut up."
#one more bc I think it's a lil funny#but now I'll shut up I promise (bc I am going out to egt drinks teehee)#rip to u for never fucking ur best friend who u didn't really think about doing that with anyways#but would've if she asked bc u like loved her or whatever. but not like that. but it could be </3#Queen of the beasts | IC
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On JÅnouchi's ADHD (1.39k words)
This headcanon is probably the longest on this blog; it's some compiled thoughts on how growing up with (undiagnosed) ADHD has affected JÅnouchi. It's halfway between headcanon and fanfiction piece, and was requested by @bloodyscott, whom I kept waiting for too long for a response. I apologise sincerely for the delay.
This headcanon begins below the cut, as it's obscenely long. You may find it more comfortable to read this from the blog page, or on Archive of Our Own (NOTE: tumblr is acting strange. To access the page, copy the link and manually remove the href.li portion and the second https), rather than on your dashboard/search, in terms of formatting and such.
From infancy, JÅnouchi wailed his way out of his crib, out of his room, out of his houseāas a baby, he thrashed towards whatever freedom he could find. He loathed the four walls of the crib; he'd scarce room to move. A skin infection brought him, aged 4, to hospital, and the very sight of overrun grey plastic seats and skinny cubicles exhausted him more than his illness had ever threatened to.
In primary school, othersā desks would blend together in a whir. Here he was, stuck, dizzyingly sedentaryāthe longer he sat, the foggier the world seemed to grow. When he kicked and whined at other children throughout electric lunch breaks, and they shrank from his vitality, he learned to eat alone. As his peers trudged from class in packs, watching the pavement, he sat, sullen, as his father drove him home. Somehow, Katsuhiro had never trusted him not to lose himself in chasing his surrounds. The fabric of the car seat would bite into his shorts, and heād squirm for the window, squealing towards the noise outside: Birds that cawed; scraps of paper that fluttered and choked on smog. That was a fragile era, when his mother still waited, with dry hands and chipped nails, at home. When his father already stank of beer, but still spoke loudly, deeply, boisterously. Again and again, JÅnouchiās mother would sit her son down, and write his name, stroke by agonising stroke. Sheād recite each mora in time with each character. Yet sound would cluster through his head, and his own name would dissolve amid his motherās instructions, amid the blaze of sunlight trapped on the windowsill behind her. He would write, and the strokes would come out rushed, mis-ordered, lopsided.Ā
Iro wa nioedoĀ
chirinuru wo.
At 10, his father grew quiet, and his mother yet quieter. Silence took up like a plague in JÅnouchiās head, and swarmed in shapeless formation throughout parched mathematics lessons. Times tables hurled themselves headlong into a skull full of fog, and burst on contact. Are you listening? a teacher asked. How could he listen with a head full of noise, of unspoken words billowing back and forth? He gripped his seat, and glared back. Why should I care, anyway?
When his mother left, his father stopped caring to chaperone him. It had taken JÅnouchi a decade to earn the right to shed his infancy. He resented that it had been this long, so tried to join the huddle of middle schoolers. He told odd stories, and took off, queasy, in front of them. They withdrew their smiles when he approached on the second day. He growled his plaint, and resentment drove him to take the opposite route. He explored back alleys, wallflower convenience stores and dilapidated cinemas; the faster he walked, the more clearly he could see each brick, and the brighter each fleck in the pavement glinted. At speed, he delayed the journey home, and set his eyes on a gorgeous early winter sunset. The colours bellowed, too bold for winter, ungainly and vain. They were glorious.
JÅnouchi came home late. His father glared; fog crashed back down on his shoulders.Ā
Wa ga yo tare zoĀ
tsune naran?
A week before she cleared out too few of Katsuhiroās belongings and packed too few suitcases, JÅnouchiās mother drove both children two miles to the optometrist. My son, she explained, reads slowly, yet resents reading; it seems he canāt see very well. My daughterās sight seems clearer, yet she complains of pain. The optometrist forced JÅnouchi to read down a chart of letters; he fidgeted, and, consumed in memories of a lonely lunch break the day prior, passed with flying colours. When the optometrist flashed a light to photograph his eyes, whatever hideous miracle that was, JÅnouchi screamed.
Katsuya JÅnouchi, the optometrist surmised, had perfect acuity of sight. He sought attention, stimulation. Meanwhile, Shizuka JÅnouchi, who had sat entirely still throughout her examination, had more ragged, derelict peripheral vision than her family had anticipated. Untreated, both your children will get much worse.
And in the months after Shizuka JÅnouchi became Shizuka Kawai and Mrs. JÅnouchi became That Bitch Who Never Cared, Katsuya JÅnouchi became horribly aware of how little time he had to be lethargic. He had to survive this schism; yet as he was, he barely felt capable of thinking. He walked, fidgeted, paced to prove to himself that he was a moving, breathing organism. Yet his fatherās frustration would brook no exuberance. Long before Katsuhiro fully committed to flinging glass and spurning his sonās misery, JÅnouchi began learning to move silently, slowly, around his father. He memorised which mats snapped and snagged, which bits of fabric hissed when stepped on. He noted which windows opened most quietly. And yet he never managed a perfect, quiet exit. He couldnāt help but be conspicuous; he could only hope to get out too quickly for his father to react. And, to lift the torpor that followed escape, he would run to school, and, after, run back. Never did the sun shine brighter than when he was moving.
Uwi no okuyama
kyou koete.
When he met Hirutani, did he become more violent? No; every punch he threw during his delinquency had waited, kinetic and desperate, for days, months, years. In classrooms, his sole responses to being ordered around had been sullen deference, with sullenness being his sole demonstration of rebellion. Now, threatened with the obsolescence of his ego, of his perceived freedom, he chained himself to violence, over and over. The first time he punched a man in the gut, he found himself shaking. And rather than sink into sallow, domestic remorse, he slathered himself in white rage. And he went back and he went back and he went back, helpless to his own instincts, trying to dredge the noise in his skull out through his fists. No matter how many punches he threw, and no matter how many he received, he could not stop his head from blazing anew the moment he walked away.
Did Duel Monsters afford him any peace? He would be no manās losing dog; nor would he be confined to dull celebrity. To play as a strategist consigned him to sitting still, committing himself to gambits he could never entirely trust, to moves that demanded a clear head. To play too whimsically would doom him to inferiority. Thus, he gave half his heart to diligence, and half to sheer fortune. Nobody could idolise his kind of folly, nor devalue his kind of skill. This was JÅnouchiās willāto eschew having to wait in the mire of expectation; to escape the fog of obligation to anyoneās morals but his own. Honour suited him, so long as it was on his meticulous terms. In games of Duel Monsters, he became a knight-errant of sorts: predictably unpredictable, unexpectedly canny, blindly faithful. With this relationship to his own fate laid out so, he could finally draw cards without fearing those next to come. And thus, hyperkinetic, he found a peace in the game. So he played and played until he forgot how long heād been playing, and Duel Monsters became as second nature.
Asaki yume miji
ei mo suzu.
Two weeks before JÅnouchiās graduation, Shizuka invited him to her place to dine. Their father was not to join them. JÅnouchi protested, and his desperation died in a pinprick throat. Wisteria spilled itself over the footpath. Each step threatened to plunge, vertiginous, to the ground.Ā
When JÅnouchi saw his mother, his throat turned to sandpaper. She looked so old.
You cried so much as a baby, she told him. Kicked and screamed to see the world. You werenāt comfortable waiting in your cribāIād end up coming to you at 4AM, walking you around the perimeter of the house till my heels burned. And you seemed so afraid of all the noises of the nightāgroaning engines, singing birds. Now, look at youāyouāve grown up so terribly fast.
Could he afford to tell her how even now, he bit down the urge to kick and scream, to launch himself, all fists and sparks, onto his tormentors? No; so, all night, he gripped his glass as tight as he could. The cold lingered and itched on his palms for days. Holding onto things, it seemed, was not so difficult as heād once believed.
#couple of notes: i tried to write jÅnouchi as also possibly having some form of conduct disorder that did not progress to aspd.#as i have neither conduct disorder nor aspd ā i can't promise it's entirely accurate#and i apologise sincerely for any serious mistakes. i've tried to avoid stigma but i know i've a hell of a lot more learning to do#jÅnouchi is meant to have combined-type adhd here. i have adhd but no diagnosed subtype#however i'd generally say i have an extremely different experience to jÅnouchi here. (i'm either hyperactive or combined)#i've tried to stay away from stereotype while also focussing on how a young child might be both overtly and internally hyperactive#and how the display of symptoms might change with circumstance.#moreover; shizuka's eye condition in the anime is left vague and (probably unrealistically) curable#i went with some kind of glaucoma (probably open-angle but i really don't know enough to say).#she probably stopped losing vision after surgery but i doubt she actually got her peripheral vision back#the japanese poem interspersed throughout is the iroha. it was more significant to early drafts and i'm too sentimental to take it out.#i named jÅnouchi's father katsuhiro (å
å¼) because calling him 'jÅnouchi's father' got too cumbersome#i didn't really show jonouchi hyperfocussing much or write about his experience of time.#but since he's an esfp i probably need more time to work out how Se dominance could interact with time blindness#anyway. i'll shut up now.#yugioh#yu-gi-oh!#YGO#Yu-Gi-Oh#yu gi oh#katsuya jonouchi#katsuya jounouchi#jounouchi katsuya#jonouchi katsuya#shizuka jonouchi#shizuka jounouchi#jonouchi#åä¹å
å
ä¹#tw domestic violence#cw domestic violence
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AND THATS A WRAP !
Hello, hello! It's me, the local dumbass that went "lol lets run this silly event" since January. I'd like to say thank you so much for participating!
I never thought that so many would look @ my blog event and go ":D lets go get matched w/ yans!" LIKE?? HELP WE GOT A LOT OF SUBMISSIONS SINCE DAY 1, IT MADE ME GO "oh shit" BAHAHAHAHA
But fr, I want to say thank you so much. To those who came in to join the matchup, to those who participated as anons to the story that was unfolding, and to those that were theorizing and even lurking:
Thank you so much for giving me a chance. You guys have no idea how much it means to me to celebrate this milestone with all of you.
I would love to mention everyone of y'all that joined to leave my special thanks, but this post will be lengthy if I did that and I... Am NOT about to make it too sappy LMAOOOO
Now! On the update + future plans:
The rest of the fics will be posted but slowly and will be saved as special dlc fics of One Last Call. This covers additional lore of the worldbuilding behind OLC, but there are some that won't be written (Freminet and Aether are unfortunately those I can't write as yanderes) to lessen the load. Also, some will be shorter/snippet wise, but we shall see.
I will be making a "story explained" post for OLC and the characters behind it. This goes into the possible "what ifs", the original draft of the story (storyboard lol), what each character would've been in my plans, and everything in between! (Also, there may or may not be drawn sketches for each of them. Maybe kek).
The next event will be happening on March. I won't elaborate what it'll be, but it will be indulgent and maybe a little funny (for me). It'll also last for a week at most so I don't end up burning myself out LMAOO
Finally, I will be hosting small event for Cupid, Eros, and Boss. They won't be big, but they will have their spots when I planned out what'll happen to them. (Hint: you guys are going to see them often on your feed if you know where to look ;>)
For now though, I will be finishing up the drabbles and pray I get them queued to finally archive this event. Also, I will be responding to asks + cleaning up my inbox again when I'm done :)
Once again, thank you everyone. I genuinely thought that running One Last Call will not work out back then (I told a few friends I was scared that it won't take off as it did), but I pushed through it anyway since I thought it'd be fun anyway. And to see everyone enjoy it is the best feeling I've had since opening this blog.
I hope all of you enjoy chilling as I try to write + post the drabbles for OLC before concluding its tale... And hopefully writer's block does not slam its gavel on my ass BAHAHAHAHAHA
#š ;; messenger writes#š ;; promising letter: one last call#š ;; to: my patrons#;; but fr im so happy everyone joined and#;; well#;; gave me a chance as a whole#;; i never thought olc would take off at ALL and it'd flop like the past events i ran on different blogs#;; and since ive hit 100 followers i wanted to make it special#;; so to see everyone enjoyed it even when... things happened#;; i am so. so happy.#;; genuinely overjoyed to see this work out the best it can.#;; y'all made me cry tears of joy ill be fr here BAHAHAHAHA SORRY IM SO SAPPY#;; BUT FR IM SO HAPPY#;; anyways ill shut up now#;; thank you. again. thank you so much for giving my silly event and me a chance to share my story.#;; im so happy you all enjoyed it to the point that y'all gave it support and the best ending i can offer.#;; and i hope that the next ones I'll be hosting will be fun for everyone to join in hehe
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#i just need to lose 4 more kg and I'll be okay#even 3 kg would be okay š„²#I'm stuck at work looking at frozen loading screen and this is all i can think about#and I'm scared that I let myself ago again but it was hard because I couldn't control my calorie intake and burn#but i think that i can do it#i just don't want to gain any more weight#otherwise I'm completely sane š#also I don't mean to brag but I want to brag...i can run now at least 5km#and it feels so good because few years ago I couldn't run for 30 seconds without stopping#it's one of those things you just suddenly realise and it instantly makes you so happy#like i even forgot it's something I wanted so bad long time ago#and now I don't even know how it's real#all i need is to lose those few kgs and I'll reach inner peace and nirvana and clarity#anyways... thank you for listening to my nonsense#i promise that one day I'll shut up about issues about my weight#i hope that you all are doing great ā¤ļø
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today i don't even bring fanart. i just drew one of my ocs and decided to post it
so uh meet Raylu i guess? she's one of my Arc-V fan characters
#yugioh arcv#yugioh arc-v#yugioh arc v#yugioh oc#arc v oc#arcv oc#arc-v oc#raylu#(my oc)#did anyone notice that i used this shading style again despite claiming that i'm never going to use it#i think i was just wrong#but maybe now that i say that my next drawing won't use it#so i'll just refrain from making any promises about the shading style i'm going to use#i think it might have to do with the fact that my last three posts (the ones with this shading style) have all been yugioh posts#since i always pull out that special effort for yugioh#anyway the left one is her main outfit#the right one is her turbo duel outfit that i gave her for the synchro dimension arc#but you probably don't care so i'll shut up now
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i forgot grey's anatomy had an autistic character in season 5.. but i truly hate the way richard lowkey disparages dixon for being autistic. i promise u.. her being autistic doesn't reflect her job as a surgeon. it may influence her bedside manner and how she interacts with others, but nothing about her work. i love richard but he can be a real š¤” sometimes...
#maybe i'm just a little sensitive to tones n shit but it didn't make me feel good#bexley chatter#bexley watches#greyās anatomy#keep in mind this season is from 2008-2009 so i'm not expecting good representation..#i forget if they've attempted another autistic character in recent seasons but i want them to give another shot#and make it more relatable tbh...#bc i promise u. not every autistic person is virginia dixon.#so far it really feels like they wanted a dislikable character and put in virginia.#give me a character of an autistic individual who went thru years of social trauma#and had to wing it thru life understanding social cues etc etc#someone who you'd NEVER expect to be autistic#bc that's how many people go undiagnosed#especially women/afabs#if someone felt represented by dixon i love that for them and i won't take that away from them#i just want to see someone where it isn't as obvious...#we all have different support needs#different personalities#anyway i'll shut up now
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people can make PSA posts saying the exact sort of things i say and get a bunch of notes but somehow i always get told to shut up ASDFGHG like what is it about me !! what unique aura am i giving off that ppl need to keep telling me i'm wrong abt commonly held opinions !!
#Ā« šššššš šššš (į“į“į“) Ā» Ā Ā / Ā ć ooc. ć#tbd#THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME THOUGH ASDFGH#ppl want me to shut up SO bad#anyway i love to talk and i love saying n typing words#i promise i'll stop posting abt this now bc i don't really care all that much
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ok i was going to put this in the tags but the more i thought about it, the more i wanted to say so i'm just going to add it as a reblog <3
op you are soooo right with this, and some more: he does the same thing (or something very similar, at least) with Gabriel!
in episode 5 when Crowley brings him hot chocolate, Gabriel - as Jim, who doesn't have any memories of Heaven or it's teachings - says "Thank you. You're really nice." to which Crowley replies "Don't thank me. And I'm not. Oh, nobody would believe you anyway."
he denies it, and unlike with Mrs. Sandwich he doesn't say thank you or anything, but it's said very softly. denying it is more like habit than a negative reaction. he doesn't like Gabriel, and i have no doubt that he would've been much more reactive had it been The Supreme Archangel Gabriel saying it to him, but he knows that that Gabriel is far from who he is talking to. "Jim" is much more human than angel right now, and his ideas of morality and good/bad are very basic but still more nuanced than Heaven's.
Crowley knows that Gabriel-as-Jim calling him nice is not the same as Archangel-Gabriel saying it, and he doesn't really mind it as much.
crowley visibly cringes and rejects aziraphale when aziraphale calls him good, calls him nice. he doesnāt want to be considered good or nice by (what he thinks is) aziraphaleās (heavenās) definition of good or nice. not just bc heās scared of hellās retribution, but because he knows heavenās definition of good and nice is wrong, is black and white.
when mrs sandwich calls him good, he doesnāt cringe. his rejection of āiām not, actually,ā is half-assed and cheeky at best, is his automatic response.
but then he says āthank you.ā
crowley appreciates being called good by a human. he knows that humanityās definition of good is nuanced and complicated. when a human calls him good, he sees it for what it isāa genuine compliment to his character and his actions, but not a divine declaration about his being as a whole. he reveres the morals of humanity more than heās ever revered the morals of heaven and hell.
#good omens#good omens s2#im having so many thoughts about this#also the part where he says 'nobody would believe you anyway' bc that is BLANTANTLY NOT TRUE#we have at least 2 people in the nearby vicinity who we /see/ calling crowley good or nice or kind#(mrs sandwich and aziraphale)#and more who would probably agree with the sentiment even if we never see them actually say it#(maggie nina and maybe muriel???)#as well as people from the past who probably have some understanding of how good crowley is#(adam. elspeth. job and sitis.)#anyway#i really don't prefer adding reblogs but i loooove this#and the nuance with crowley's responses to this#bc yeah the only person we saw call him good in s1 was aziraphale and he always had a negative reaction#for good reason!!#and having these other two examples i think shows how he truly views it#without heaven's influence and black/white thinking affecting the words he is much more... comfortable? with them?#he still denies it as a kneejerk reaction (and bc he does still often try and have that demon swagger)#but there's no heat. there's no fight about it. it's CHEEKY it's 'yeah whatever' it's 'nobody would believe you'#ok i'll actually shut up now i promise#shh ac
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You ever have those periods where you're struggling to write much, and you're really questioning why you even bother with this in the first place, and you look at your main WIP and you're just like what is the point? Nobody wants to read this anyway so why are you wasting your time with this nonsense when you could be doing literally anything else?
And then, out of nowhere, you get a comment on said fic, despite it being months after it was posted, despite it being a ridiculously rare-rarepair, despite one half of the pairing not being on TV anymore, and it's a self-indulgent AU that you figured wouldn't appeal to most folks in the slightest, and then you realise that it's gotten a few more hits lately too and the comment is really nice and actually, this fic has more comments on it than a lot of your other stuff, and all of sudden, it's like...shit, maybe you should keep doing this?? Maybe you should just write the damn thing (when you can) and just have fun with it and who cares about the rest?
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#This is probably a weird post - I feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing#But then again that's pretty much all I do LOL#It was just a really nice surprise you know? Very unexpected#And it's embarrassing how much I still think about that AU and all the myriad of ideas I have for it#Writing may be a struggle most of the time but...I think I really do wanna try and write this damn thing?#I'm already having more thoughts about the ending and the last couple chapters and new ideas/additions#Even fucking prequel/flashback/supplemental content ideas#Oh and there's a scene towards the end of the AU that was always gonna be Rough but after giving it more thought thanks to this comment -#I've decided to make it WORSE!! š#God I love this stupid fucking AU so much...am I really gonna have to do this??#Well...no idea when but get ready for me to post a bunch of absolute trashy filth that no one asked for! EVENTUALLY! ššš#It will be TOXIC!! It will be PROBLEMATIC!! It will be GROSS!!#And I will have fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun#OK I promise I'll shut up now Jesus Sam fucking give it a rest!#...................so anyways Ricky's gonna lick the old man's pits and - *gunshot*
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