#anyway I’m getting off topic
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actually I think that neil josten is very smart. he’s quick, clever, and a MATH nerd. he’s a polyglot! he keeps decently good grades despite having a VERY unstable schooling. he knows how to manipulate people to get information/people to do what he wants. he’s incredibly observant and is able to predict what the people around him are going to do. he’s so so smart
and he’ll throw all those braincells out the window when he’s with his bestie, matthew donavan boyd
#neil josten#matt boyd#aftg#when neil and matt hang out they hand over their braincells to andrew and dan for safekeeping#they’re so stupid with each other#like they are just goofy best friends who do stupid shit with each other#and maybe hug a lot#also for the record I think matt is also very smart#his parents were rich so you know he got that good education. and I think it also mentioned somewhere that he was well educated#sorry guys I don’t think matt is the himbo representation we need 😫#jeremy tho! now there’s a himbo#anyway I’m getting off topic
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Ok i’m scheduling some art I’ve done in the past while I work on new things and I remembered that Queen Bee (from h/lluva b/ss) redesign I did a year ago when a lot of ppl were doing it and it’s probably time to post it before it gets too old…
man, I am NOT excited for all the harassment I’m gonna endure from the unhinged HB fans, but hopefully I’m too small of an artist to get noticed so maybe i’ll be fine
#rambling#my posts#helluva boss critical#tagging it as such so ya won’t be able to complain that I „didn’t properly tag the hate” or sth#I had also a wip of ALMOST FINISHED 2nd redesign where I was basically just making my own take on the Beelzebub#that I can use outside of H//B f/nart (like I can easily put it in my game project)#but for some reason I never sat down to properly finish it bc the lineart was killing me#bc you see I used to do this very annoying thing where instead of drawing lineart on a seperate layer#I was just erasing and „sculpting” the messy sketch layer until it looked good#Which maybe would look good in a different brush but nah it was the default smooth brush#I thought this method would be faster bc „well at least i’m not drawing the lines from scratch”#but when you have messy sketches the cleaning up process gets very tedious very fast#so at some point I was just fed up and had a break that turned too long and by that point my artstyle#changed too much and I didn’t want to touch my old work; bc I like to preserve my progress#(which means no messing with works and wips that are older than a month)#anyway i’m getting off topic#so uh; i guess if you like redesigns you’re in for a treat#if not then well i hope we can resolve this diplomatically#and to anyone asking if i’m actually a fan of the show - no i’m not; it was a guilty pleasure to a certain point until it was unbearable#I really hate both h///b and h/////h so don’t ask me any opinions on them bc i’m gonna be very mean 😭😭😭#all i’m gonna say is my opinions aren’t groundbreaking or anything; i can’t really say what hasn’t already been said
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tumblr is >.> not notifying me properly >.> my notifications are all muffed up and i’m :((( about it
#today was LONG but good!!!#i’m gonna go play around on my selfship blog now hehe#tmblr pls fix this ._.#i got the phrase ‘muffed up’ from bam margera#i don’t think anyone else in the world other than him (n maybe his friends????? dico n raab probably; maybe novak) uses it#i just find it so funny#irl i even whine it like him#anyway i’m getting off topic#my notifs are scrambled and it’s rly annoying >:( that’s the point#clari chatters
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Okay last little idea and I'll leave you be for a bit
Xiao actually responding to the names the creator gives him. Little Friend, Pretty Bird, ect. No matter how far away you are, if you call those names, he has to stop himself from turning into a bird and flying away at that very moment. Those pet names are as much his name as any other he's kept.
-sibling anon
me when xiao
in his time with you in his adeptal form, xiao has never told you his name.
and yet, he still hears you.
if he’s in the area and the wind brings him the softest call of “you here, little friend?” he morphs in an instant, instinct taking over as he flies to your summons. he ducks through the trees, landing gracefully in your outstretched hand, meeting your wide smile with a chirp.
“there you are,” you mumble, and he ruffles his wings in an approximation of standing straighter. he is here. for you.
he’s commonly perched on your index finger, or your thumb if he’s eating from your palm. you only feed him simple almonds, yet it tastes of a delightful meal, energy coursing through his body. he’s careful not to nick your skin in his eagerness, but nobody could blame his enthusiasm if they knew what he felt.
by sitting in your hand, he is rested. by staying at your side, he is healed. he still upkeeps his duties, ever vigilant, but he’s quicker now, spurred on by something—someone—to return to. his place is at your side, and he hates keeping you waiting.
even when he has to.
xiao crossed his arms over his chest, staring off at liyue’s plains while he waited for the traveller to finish talking with… whoever. he honestly wasn’t paying attention. all he was there for was the lost adeptal artifact that the commissioner had promised he had, and then he would be on his way.
the man said something with a tilt to his tone. the traveller laughed. xiao grit his teeth.
“friend? little buddy? where are you?”
the call pulled at his soul as every other name he held, and he itched to answer.
paimon made a comment, an ooh! tossed somewhere in the middle, and xiao snapped.
“can we wrap it up? this is not a proper use of an adeptus’ time.”
the man swiftly apologized, handing over the totem, and xiao all but snatched it from his hand. a ‘farewell’ may or may not have slipped from him in time for the traveller to hear, he wasn’t sure. all he knew was that one moment he was dropping the totem off at his room at the inn, and the next he was leaping off the balcony, shifting mid-air to fly towards you.
he let out a loud cry when he spotted you, tucking in his wings to dive. you saw him and held out your hand, a motion so familiar that the actions to land were muscle memory.
he flared his wings, slowing his fall, flapping once, twice, before settling on your index finger. your thumb reached up, as it always did, and he leaned into it, repressing a coo at the feeling of it smoothing over his back.
“there you are, my pretty bird. where were you?”
a shiver rolls down his small body at your words, and he hides behind your thumb. you had many names for him—little friend, blue bird, simply blue—but pretty bird?
your pretty bird?
he’s hot in a way he can’t identify, a melting mix of emotions filling his chest. pride, admiration, adoration, even, all blurring into a messy film that covered his mind.
you turned towards your camp, keeping the hand with him perched close to you. “doesn’t matter. you’re here now, pretty bird. i missed you, you know.”
and you missed him?
xiao’s known for a while that the one on the throne wasn’t truly his god, but now he’s wondering if you were. the swell of confusing feelings was proof enough; were you anybody else, mortal or immortal, god or adepti, he’d have surely struck you down for your behavior long ago. cooing over him as if he were a mere household pet, feeding him scraps of crushed fruit, calling him such names as ‘pretty bird’- he’d have morphed back the second he was strong enough, held his blade to your throat and called you insolent and ungrateful. he’d leave you with a scar, and yet here he was, apologizing for the one he did leave in any way he could.
you carefully poured some almonds pieces in your palm, and he shifted to your thumb as you sat. were you anybody else, you would be dead. but your eyes are still open, carefully watching him, and your heart still beats blood. he can feel your pulse through his claws, sometimes, and often finds his own slowing down to match it.
you had an adeptus eating from the palm of your hand, and yet you were none the wiser. you simply propped your head in your free hand, a gentle smile on your face.
“my pretty bird,” you said quietly, and xiao’s eyes closed of their own volition.
yours.
#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#sibling anon#bird!xiao shenanigans#< sorry for high jacking your post for this king#to stew anon: i saw your ask regarding bird xiao but the topic makes me uncomfortable. while i agree with your last point everything prior#is off the table. not your fault btw i never gave anything to suggest otherwise#anyway here’s another 800 words abt bird xiao in hopefully ‘good enough’ compensation#hey FUCK tumblr for continuing to delete the last paragraph of my fics#wholeheartedly#GOD fuck this fuck everything lesson learned NEVER DO JACK SHIT IN THE DRAFTS#tumblr is hell and i’m not good enough at navigating to get our#i’m fuckin sobbing- on my hands and knees disoriented and confused
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There’s been some discussion recently about the subplot of bullying in The Bad Batch and I had some thoughts so I decided to write them out to discuss them.
I wanted to bring up some things that maybe can put together this disconnect we seem to see between the show The Bad Batch and the show The Clone Wars and maybe explains a bit about this whole bullied versus bully concept.
To me The Clone Wars paints a very different picture than The Bad Batch in a way that only serves to make the lines blurry and make the viewer think (perhaps not their intention but I think maybe they fell into this more on accident). The Clone Wars batch rolls in with a reputation that’s already not too great. Jesse even says it: it’s not that they win. It’s how they win. The batch is known for dangerous stunts that put other people at risk. They don’t always think through their decisions outside of themselves. Then we get this scene of them walking off of the ship and they are very arrogant. They show off, they talk big, they don’t exactly give off ‘approachable’.
We get into the mission and Jesse, in particular, is not a fan but it isn’t very aggressive yet. Crosshair is being confrontational - staring Jesse down, making snippy comments, and being an overall ass (I love Crosshair, don’t get me wrong, I’m just talking about what I observe in this introduction). I think it’s because he senses Jesse’s dislike of them and wants to poke at it.
We’re not off to a good start.
Where I think the batch fails in this episode is letting Crosshair insult Rex and further goad Jesse. Crosshair shouldn’t have said half the stuff he did and Jesse (and later, Rex) are justified in hitting back at him.
They’re soldiers. They’re going to get in each other’s faces if someone starts talking shit.
When Jesse scolds Crosshair - I think Kix is somewhere standing in the background but not directly involved- Wrecker steps in and turns things violent.
It’s not a moment I’m most proud of them. It’s actually one of the moments I’m least proud of them. Crosshair and Kix get into it when Crosshair shoves him for trying to help Jesse and Rex is attempting to get Wrecker to let Jesse go. This escalated quickly and I’m not sure I can say that this was justified. It seems like a big jump to me (but maybe someone disagrees, feel free to, I’d like to know someone else’s thoughts).
In this episode we’re really led down one path that says the batch and other clones don’t get along and from this limited perspective in this episode it seems like the batch are instigators. They roll in, avoid consequences for themselves, and roll out without giving anyone else a second thought.
The Bad Batch tv show paints an entirely different picture and it is definitely to make them more likable and relatable to a young audience. Every kids show has the character that’s an underdog, it’s who we want to root for. It makes the people in The Bad Batch’s age range connect with them more and I can’t exactly blame them for writing it this way - although after seeing the batch in the clone wars it does make me sigh a bit, I won’t lie.
I was bullied as a child. Quite severely, actually, so I find myself justifying the disconnect with a few things. Perhaps the batch puts up a front so they push other clones away before it can happen to them. I’ve done this. I put on a really abrasive attitude to keep people away when I was in high school and I regret it. However, I got over myself as I got older and worked through my own issues rather than blaming other people. Because you have to. It’s not alright to continue to hurt other people because you were hurt and I remind myself of that every single day. It’s the only way to move forward. I never have to forgive people who have hurt me but I can’t start using it as an excuse.
I mention this only to say that maybe their behavior in The Clone Wars was a mask built from past hurt and that could make sense to me. You build up walls when you’ve been hurt and you create behaviors based on experience. However, I still don’t think their behavior should be excused. I still think they escalated that situation far before anyone else did. In the same way I think Jesse made a lot of snap judgements about the batch and just kept finding ways to reinforce that judgement based on what he’d heard about them prior. And this snap judgment isn’t the best way to go about working with new people. It’s not an excuse, just an explanation.
I even think the batch’s behavior in episode 1 of their own show kind of contradicts some of their behavior in TCW. Particularly Crosshair. Crosshair doesn’t engage in the cafeteria until he absolutely has to while in TCW he is the primary instigator. We can try to explain this by saying it’s because his chip activated and his personality shifted. I just think it’s something worth pointing out.
I’d also like to add that of course the batch are the primary instigators in The Clone Wars because the clones we knew and loved in that show are technically the heroes of the episode. Of course they’re portrayed in a better light. It’s the same as the batch in episode one of their own show. Of course they’re portrayed as the ‘good guys’. It’s their show. To me it’s less of a character moment and more of a way to get the viewers of the show to root for somebody, whoever they want us to root for in the moment. The Bad Batch is told from their perspective so they are going to be the underdogs while The Clone Wars brings the batch in as outsiders to the group and gives them a more aggressive interaction to further our already beloved character’s narratives.
This was a very long way to say, I’ve always been kinda meh about the whole ‘the batch is bullied’ subplot and I tend to avoid writing it in my own fics because I think there is inconsistency with the writing between the clone wars and the bad batch and this can possibly be boiled down to a few things like different writers on the creative teams, an uncertain future, and wanting to paint certain characters in certain lights because of the show they are on. Rather than actually being a truly defining character arc it is a tool, as most writing is, it’s just not a tool I particularly care for in this story. And while I do think there are inconsistencies I can piece together some things to explain it if I really want to. I don’t think one side is right and one side is wrong. I think there are a million explanations for hurt on both sides and we decide it for ourselves because neither show truly made it clear enough for me to draw any lines in the sand. (And if you’ve been reading my stories at all you know I love a good grey area so I probably wouldn’t draw lines at all.)
I always try to be fair to everyone when I write stuff like this so I hope I’ve covered all of my points well enough. There are plenty of things to say about this topic and it has been talked about a few times recently in other posts that you can read. Tagging 1 by @laughhardrunfastbekindsblog and 2 by @gars-technician because these two posts inspired me to write this.
I’d definitely encourage open discussion here if anyone wants to chime in 😊 while I know we might all have different opinions I’m certainly willing to hear them as long as everyone is respectful.
#space chatter#the bad batch#the clone wars#I’ve missed chatting about the bad batch#we’re well aware that I love the clones#and I enjoy hearing other people’s ideas and thoughts#also here I am back with my ‘wedecide what canon means so it can mean a million things to different people 🤍 ideas#who is surprised? not me#also sorry to tag you in this long ass post I didn’t want to derail anyone’s post with my rambling since I get off topic kind of???#anyway hope this is worth the read#and I’m interested to see if anyone picked up something that I didn’t
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have i been on here long enough to warrant an “about me” post or have i been sufficiently perceived 😛😛😛😛
#fun fact the original reason i didn’t make one#is because i didn’t think id have this blog long enough#like i figured id be on here for a few weeks or maybe a month at most#and i only started writing bc i was PLAGUED by visions#i was never even gonna post it but then i realized i was reading other series i really enjoyed and figured fuck it#but now it’s been like 5 months ????? or something crazy?????#i’m about to get emotional lmao but i’m so glad for my time here#and for all the wonderful people i’ve met and interactions i’ve had#this got incredibly off topic LMAO#anyways#love you all#kissing you n hugging you#thx for making this such a lovely place <3#anywho i will be making an about me HAHAHAHAHAHA#q speaks
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Gabriel but underneath that armour he's bird demon howl from howls moving castle
Had to look it up cause I don’t watch anime
Approved, but without the human face
#the only time i have watched anime is when my brother forces me to lol#I’m allergic to faces don’t mind me#anyway#in my crazy mind the helmet is his face but it is also removable which doesn’t make any sense but it does to me#there might be something under there or there is nothing at all#but it’s not human#it can change based on feelings#if he can change the color of his armor then it must be part of him in some way right#and if his wings and halo can appear and disappear as well..#ok I’m getting off topic here#non voice post#ask#asks
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evan buckley loves plus size women. pass it on <3
#no i’m NOT projecting#he loves their little bellies<3#and he would still be able to pick them up because have you seen his arms??#i’m getting off topic anyway#if someone doesn’t start writing buck x plus size reader fics i might have to#evan buckley#evan ‘buck’ buckley#911 abc#911 on abc#oliver stark#evan buckley x plus size reader
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“Ah- apologies, Stanley, that was intended to be Blood. It appears my Blood and Glow Stick Juice textures have been swapped, an honest mistake really. Sigh you’ll have to wait for your proper blood bath. My sincerest apologies, Stanley.”
Wanted to cover him in blood then I started messing with the colors and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thought it was pretty :3
#tsp#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tspud#maybe it’s blood in the Detroit become human universe#but that’s not a game we have availability to right now#anyway I’m posting this instead of the#like 4? TikTok’s I made#I’ll get to those later#I still want my one 8:30 post a day limit#so if everything went to plan#you should be seeing this 2 days into the future#and have 1 TikTok reposted currently#the others will come eventually#probably as bumpers between other posts#anyway I’m off topic#the bucket says ‘blood for Stanley’ btw#if you even care#.png
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sad to have lost early 1900s nola and 1940s france…but whatever rolin has cooking up for the tvl flashbacks i am endlessly excited for because if that man can do one thing it is a PERIOD PIECE
#and speaking of which you guys should all watch the perry mason reboot!!!! where he was the s1 showrunner!!!#*snl stefon voice* this 1930s murder mystery legal drama has everything#great cast. lesbians. even our new raglan james aka justin kirk#anyway I’m getting off topic.#iwtv#interview with the vampire#mediaposting
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WOOOOO ITS FINALLY HERE
Day 1 was “First Encounter.” So naturally I went AAAAALLL the way back to Terios’ days as part of the Black Arms (in more ways than just blood.) He’s trying to focus on a mission here, what’s this bat even doing? Has she been watching?! What does she want?! She had better not get in the way of the search….
…It’s side quest time isn’t it.
#oh terios if only you knew#rouge too tbh#“this guy looks useful if I can get him to do what I want” no rouge you are going to help him HEAL#and he is going to be your new partner in ‘crime’#listen his curiosity of the world pairs well with her adventurous spirit really well but he miiiight not want to rob the store with you 😭🙏#(slams fist on table) DOLEON#anyways I’m getting off topic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fandom#sth#sthrarepair24#idk if oc x canon actually counts for this yet but I’m doing it#rouge the bat#sonic oc#terios the darkhog#art#sonic art#sonic ships#oc x canon#sonic oc x canon#terouge#terios x rouge
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trans andrew reclaiming his body, something that has hurt him and been used against him. trans andrew who decides not to get top surgery. trans andrew who slowly learns to love his body and be comfortable in it. trans andrew saying this body is mine, it’s mine and no one can take that away from me
#I might be projecting a bit#but I’ve been thinking a lot about trans bodies and specifically my trans body#so I’m gonna do the only thing a guy in my position can do: project onto my comfort character 😌#also I love neil loving andrew’s body too#being there for andrew and supporting him as andrew explores his own body and discovers whats comfortable for him#what’s good for him#and neil exploring andrew’s body too#every touch every kiss every whispered word against scarred skin#every single one a monument of neil’s love for andrew#okay anyway I’m getting off topic#aftg#andreil#neil josten#andrew minyard#mine
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If anyone’s wondering why I haven’t been posting on this blog I had a breakdown, dropped out of college for the time being, moved back home, and now I’m deeply addicted to stardew valley while I wait for one of the damn jobs I applied to to call me back
#I’m not actually a college dropout I’m going back in the fall (I hope)#like nothing wrong with dropping out of college for real god knows I get it. just for me personally I have NO idea what I would do#I can’t just work for movie theaters and fast food forever#need a masters at least for the job I want#anyways I feel bad for not using my blog but ever since the breakdown I just haven’t cared?#like I still love tutu I do I just can’t bring myself to think about it and care the way I did#hopefully that goes away I miss you guys I miss all the fun I had in the fandom#lea talks#lea off topic tag
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everyone, if you had a different name what would it be
#inspired by the question i asked my sister in June when i wanted to put my name on my tumblr#i asked her this question about me and guess what she said#that’s right mia#you can thank my sister for that#it’s not my real name#although what is a ‘real name’ anyway#i do go by mia (on tumblr) which makes it my name right#ok I’m getting way off topic#tell me what your name would be if it wasn’t what it is#god i hope this makes sense
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Talking about stardew valley romances is so awkward. My friends are like “oh I love [every single guy, and Haley, but Alex]” and I have to go “oh I like Alex and Maru the most.”
#lots of love to the other guys#but like#idk Alex is chill#he’s like ‘hey what’s up’ and then the relationship builds up at a pace I’m comfortable with#it’s the same reason my main bg3 romances are Shads and Gale#they’re literally just like ‘hey you want to hang out’#a similar reason why I love Neera’s romance so much in bg1ee#yeah there is a semi mutual crush pretty early on#but it’s not like you’re jumping super far ahead and it paces like a normal relationship#or at least every relationship I’ve ever had#stardew valley#is way better at building up romances and relationships than bg3 and many other games to be fair#personally Elliot if my last romance of the men#I’m sorry I want to punch him#idk if maru is a common romance or not#I see way more people talk about the bachelors#I like her because I am also a man of science#or at least I try my best to be#I’m kinda dumb at very specific kinds of math#and idk how to explain it#it’s like every other kind of mathematics my brain can’t handle#especially if two math concepts are similar or interconnected#I’m fucked if it’s that#I try though#fail miserably but I try#and cry over it#really nothing gets me quicker to crying even in front of people (]>*#(which is a sin to me)#than failing miserably at math#anyways I’m off topic
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remembering on my circa 2017 booklr I used to tell people to read Gemma Doyle by describing it as trc but with an all girls boarding school / all girl group in a historical setting… I was trying to do the lord’s work she deserved tumblr fame
#I do think that was an oversimplification of both but. Not totally off base there are some similar char tropes used I’m proud of past me for#the attempt. Also I think I’m going to start advocating for Diviners in that way now that trc fandom is apparently quite miserable post GW#you like gay people doing dream magic? you like witchcraft and ghosts and strong ensemble casts?#you like an ambitious abuse survivor getting a healing arc with learning to control magic/psychic abilities as a metaphor? you like four#book series where the first three books rock and the last book which is named king + corvid is a bit underwhelm who said that?#a positive point in diviners favor is Ling x Wei Mei >>>> RonanKavinsky. Generally find the take on dream magic in diviners more compelling#(although LingHenry + RonanHennessy both being mlm wlw duos who are the dreamers is kinda fun)#anyway. This is not actually a fair comparison because Ling is my fav or at least top two w Theta of the leads and I love Ronan but he is m#least favorite of the trc leads of which there are four all of whom I love so it says nothing bad about him. But it does put me as an#outlier re: fandom priorities..#on the flip side while I love diviners dynamics sadly I don’t think they ever come anywhere close to Gangsey levels of extreme codependency#so I can not care quite as much….#from what I remember the girls in Gemma Doyle are a lot more codependent good for them. Would have to reread to compare codependency levels#Ling and Theta are both my favorite in diviners in the same way Blue and Adam are my favorite in trc and Abed and Annie are both my fav for#community. basically one char who I love and overidentify with (Ling/Blue/Abed) and one char I love who in many ways I’m not like#but in a handful of very niche specific ways I also relate quite a bit. And am fascinated with (Theta/Adam/Annie)#s speaks#very off topic from my initial point which was you should read Libba Bray’s books#and in both cases I have a second and a half tier fav (Evie/Gansey/Britta) who I love fictionally but if I was trapped in a room w them I’d#kill myself. with the white blonde women I’d also want to make out w them debatable if that makes it better or worse#but like. I could not stand listening to them speak for that long I know this#Gansey might just die a third time by my hands…
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