#his parents were rich so you know he got that good education. and I think it also mentioned somewhere that he was well educated

[knox-knocks]

actually I think that neil josten is very smart. he’s quick, clever, and a MATH nerd. he’s a polyglot! he keeps decently good grades despite having a VERY unstable schooling. he knows how to manipulate people to get information/people to do what he wants. he’s incredibly observant and is able to predict what the people around him are going to do. he’s so so smart

and he’ll throw all those braincells out the window when he’s with his bestie, matthew donavan boyd

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH45

Slumber party!

Fair, but consider: She deserves a little murder. As a treat.

Kabru be like "IS THAT MY BACKSTORY???"

That sure is....a ship. With no one on it.

Ah, shit the Americans are here.

Two things: Toshiro being tended to like a pretty pretty princess is hilarious.

And also, the fact that they think the elves can kill Falin......... hmmm.... Pressing X to doubt.

............... oh. Laios. 😂

But also like. How was he MEANT to keep it silent? Put a little something in it? I thought since it was a magic bell you could code it to only ring when it's shaken with INTENT?

Fancy ass house.

Also, Namari...........are you hitting that yet? Both of that?

Oh, it's backstory time.

Okay one: that's fucking tragic, it sounds like the Elves are just forcing the dungeons closed with no regard for how the ecosystem compensates and what people suffer by being in close proximity......

And another thing: Kabru. Kabru, isn't that what YOU'RE after? Having all the power?

Why is this so much like that one meme where the girls at the party are looking at you.

It's the same picture.

Kabru that's. That's maybe not the way to go about it. you're going to give them MORE reasons to go in.

Nevermind the governor not being into this 'good boy, now sign' talk, Toshiro's kinda right. Ya fucked up Kabru.

No matter how far Laios runs, he cannot escape other people trying to tell him how to live his life. Poor guy. But at the same time...

Is this real? Or a red herring?

Laios' father and mother seemed to be living relatively pious lives. They clearly had a good house, but it didn't seem like they were extremely rich. Then again, perhaps he's just a cousin of royalty? Is that why his parents wanted him to have children?

They want to.... halt the growth of the dungeon? Is this another part of the natural ecosystem of things? Dungeons growing seems to point even more towards the idea that it's a gigantic, fleshpit-like creature instead of simply a construct.

Then again, constructs CAN be creatures. Like the golems.

Elves not understanding how old humans are continues to be hilarious because like.

As humans, we HAVE this same concept of variant aging. Like. Dogs. We understand that dogs live less than us, and mature a lot slower. But this is.... COMMON KNOWLEDGE. Most people do not make it into adulthood without understanding that dogs mature within 1-2 years of their birth.

The fact that elves, a species with FAR more time on their hands, who have lived alongside other races for AGES....... have STILL not got the general concept of aging down....means their education is atrocious. Or they're all not paying attention.

.......this. THIS is the most fascinating concept in this chapter.

The fallen.... turned into MONSTERS.

We know that dying inside the dungeon doesn't mean permanent death. But dying above-ground does.

We know that dying in the dungeon doesn't mean your body turns into a monster (aside from ghosts and ghouls?) ..... but dying aboveground.... DOES......?

WHAT'S THE TRUTH.

👁👁

Hm.

If Kabru and Laios fused, they could almost make one functioning human being.

Senshi just beginning to speak in the middle of his own internal monologue is so real.

...... what's going on there with the expression, buddy?

Bread.......are they STILL carrying around flour with them?! How are they getting bread?!

Also, it's awesome that the eggs are canonically hard to crack, because it makes sense that they don't break during their many fighting events.

Izutsumi really said ◉_◉

Don't tell me Laios, who is sensitive to ghosts has ALSO been seeing things?

Not gonna lie, that's highkey terrifying.

Props to that ghost that's been following Laios around, not ever giving up hope that it can bother him into acknowledging it.

And also - hey, it already saved them once! that means it's probably not evil!

That, or it's the king of the bloody dungeon. Wouldn't that be something!

[bethanydelleman]

So you know how in Mansfield Park Sir Thomas accuses Fanny of having designs on Edmund when she rejects Henry’s proposal? What do you think his actual reaction would be when he hears of Edmund’s intentions to marry her afterwards?

I imagine that having learned of Fanny’s superior nature (compared to his own children’s follies), he’d support the match, but I can’t help but think he’d feel a little resentful that his precious Edmund should marry Fanny of all people. I think toward the end of the novel he gains a better appreciation of her qualities, but while reading it, I felt that he was more relieved that his efforts in supporting her education had paid off and that his sentiment toward her good character was more self-congratulatory in nature rather than genuinely appreciative.

At the very least, if Sir Thomas is genuinely happy about Edmund and Fanny’s engagement and marriage, how do you think Mrs. Norris would feel if she received the announcement or invitation to the wedding in the mail?

We are told how Sir Thomas reacted:

Their own inclinations ascertained, there were no difficulties behind, no drawback of poverty or parent. It was a match which Sir Thomas’s wishes had even forestalled. Sick of ambitious and mercenary connexions, prizing more and more the sterling good of principle and temper, and chiefly anxious to bind by the strongest securities all that remained to him of domestic felicity, he had pondered with genuine satisfaction on the more than possibility of the two young friends finding their natural consolation in each other for all that had occurred of disappointment to either; and the joyful consent which met Edmund’s application, the high sense of having realised a great acquisition in the promise of Fanny for a daughter, formed just such a contrast with his early opinion on the subject when the poor little girl’s coming had been first agitated, as time is for ever producing between the plans and decisions of mortals, for their own instruction, and their neighbours’ entertainment.

Fanny was indeed the daughter that he wanted. His charitable kindness had been rearing a prime comfort for himself. His liberality had a rich repayment, and the general goodness of his intentions by her deserved it. He might have made her childhood happier; but it had been an error of judgment only which had given him the appearance of harshness, and deprived him of her early love; and now, on really knowing each other, their mutual attachment became very strong. After settling her at Thornton Lacey with every kind attention to her comfort, the object of almost every day was to see her there, or to get her away from it.

As for Mrs. Norris, I doubt she recieved a wedding invitation since she kind of burned her bridge with the family, but I imagine she was very angry that Fanny Price got something she didn't deserve (in her opinion).

It bothers me a little bit that Austen does a lot of heavy lifting to redeem the Bertrams, but leaves the Crawfords in the mire. Tom's reformation seems just as dramatic as Henry's would have been, to me at least. But that's how she wrote it.

[angels-are-sinning]

thoughts on how the riley family made simon instinctually latch onto soap.

something about how the generational gap is during simon and his own parents. i think his grandparents -- experienced the world war(s), of course, and from what i've seen from those parents and their children they aren't very affectionate.

they don't normally say "i love you" or display affection with hugs and kisses. maybe it's cultural differences or something. from what i see from that generation, they're more reserved and withdrawn. they leave their children to fend for themselves in a way. like if you think about those stories of immigrant parents and how they don't really say I love you but show their love in other ways. maybe not verbally but physically. in other means.

i suppose i think that way for simon's own parents too; when you read the comics, you don't see affection shared between his parents or himself, but he holds his mother in a high regard.

there's this wonderful headcanon that's about how "ghost doesn't say "I love you" a lot." and i agreed, since i think when he loves someone, he doesn't say he loves them more so than he shows he does care for them. acts of service and stuff. I attended a funeral of someone's mother, who lived through the great depression and second world war. her daughter talked about how her mother only hugged her once in her life, at least when she could remember -- and that was when she graduated medical school. i think maybe the riley family was like that too, even if simon's parents weren't conservative (they were shown to be previous punks Back in the day ((and punks were political)).) they still were Conservative in raising their children.

but to add to the angst, i don't think that simon handled it very well. i imagine him to be touch-starved, even if he doesn't like to say it or admit he needs the company or presence of other people to be around with, to feel safe. i think he was very quiet and shy when he was younger, keeping to himself more, and not one for social crowds and public events. keeping his distance. but i think a part of him longed for a family, a loving one, like the ones in the sitcoms with loud laughter and many jokes which were popular back when he was a teenager. i guess maybe that's why he was also drawn to the 141, seeing them as his family in a way, that he couldn't have, because his actual family and his parents were the type who .. Needed to be asked if you wanted any sort of affection with them. and i think simon's too embarrassed to ask.

to add to the angst: he knows his parents do love him. he's grateful. he has a house. and he has food and a good education and clothes. but he desperately craves love, warmth, attention, things that his parents did not/or could not provide for him. but even if they do love him, love is useless if it cannot be understood by the recipient. he feels guilty that he feels like this, that he needs More of what they've already provided for him.

bonus points if maybe his parents (or at least his mother) worked really hard out of destitute poverty and is stretched thin to give her children a comfortable life, but never really said anything about it.

(((i like the idea of his father was from some wealthier means, but was kind of shunned for marrying someone of a lower class and thus unable to inherit or was excluded from the high society his childhood offered Etcetera because of his "relations".

A marriage for love that was doomed to fail from the start. How his grandparents on "that" side of the family were right about his father.

Simon got hit with the double combo: working class background trauma (you hurt me so much but you broke your back working for me to have a good life) from his mum and the generational trauma (controlling rich parents) from his dad...

it also makes it easier for simon to instinctively care for his mother more than his father because his father Does have somewhere to go back to, if this family fails. he can easily rebuild with another woman and have other children with her. but maybe his mother has no one except this family.

so soap comes in. soap, gaz, price, the 141. somehow he feels at home with them, how they feel more like a family than the one he had. his house was relatively quiet. not many conversations shared during meals. some brotherly bonding, sure. but his father was usually absent (for work) and his mother was always busy, or very tired after work that she couldn't do anything else when she got home.

but the 141?

they were there for him. gaz was there by his side and elbowing him whenever soap made a joke. soap, the sunshine, always cheerful. price and his fatherly nature towards the 141, as if they were his children. his to nurture. his to protect. i think maybe that's also why ghost is more drawn to price than his actual biological father, because price Acts like an actual dad. deep down, he's been longing for this. touch starved. aching for some sort of warmth and affection, even if its just a shared look or a graze of the hand. he craves touch. he craves for attention, after being withheld from it for so long.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying that my boyfriend would deserve it if he died in the Titan submersible implosion?

I figure it's far enough out from the argument itself now that I can post this. I (27M) and my boyfriend (29M) come from very different backgrounds.

He grew up in a wealthy family. His family isn't, like, billionaire rich--his father is a semi-prestigious actor--but they can, for example, eat at michelin star restaurants on a regular basis, pay for all their kid's ivy league educations, drop thousands of dollars on an impromptu trip to Europe for no reason, and so on and so forth. Which, like, good for them! Genuinely, I'm glad my partner and his family did not struggle with money growing up.

I, on the other hand, grew up in poverty. I didn't have any formal schooling until I got my GED and enrolled in college. I grew up food insecure, living in a very poor area, and frequently had periods of time where my family could not afford to pay our bills. I was extremely lucky to be able to go to college, and I only managed to pay for it due to spending basically all of my free time either working or applying for every niche scholarship I could find. Even now, several years into my career, I pretty much live off of rice and lentils so I can pay rent.

All this to say: Neither of us would consider ourselves pro-corporation or billionaire, but my boyfriend is sometimes more sympathetic to wealthier individuals due to his background. We do not currently live together, which is not because of the aforementioned, but is relevant.

A while back, my boyfriend's grandfather came to stay with his parents. His grandfather was, at the time, not feeling well--coughing, sneezing, the works. He pretty obviously had COVID. Nevertheless, my boyfriend took the 4 hour drive to spend time with him, and wouldn't you know it, he got sick. He stayed at his parents house until he got better. I decided not to make the drive to see my boyfriend, and stayed at my apartment. This is because I am immunocompromised and would prefer not to. Y'know. Die.

While my boyfriend was out, the whole debacle with the Titan submersible occurred, which I kept an eye on and made some memes about. A couple days after they found the wreckage, my boyfriend became coherent enough to have a phone conversation. While talking to him, I told him the story of what happened, the details about the submarine, the $250k ticket price, and so on.

He seemed indifferent until I brought up the 19 year old on board. He then seemed very upset, especially when he found out the kid didn't want to go in the first place. I tried to assure him that most of the memes were not about the kid, but he was having none of it. He seemed very sad, and said something along the lines of "I hope I don't go out like that."

I was confused. I didn't think his parents were so rich they would be able to afford that, but I figured it was just a hypothetical. My boyfriend has a big fear of death, and I often need to reassure him about things like this. "Well," I replied, "If you're worried about that, I can assure you that's an easy death to avoid. Just don't do dumb shit like that."

He then got VERY upset. "What do you mean??? Are you saying I'd deserve to die like that???"

Me: "I mean, that's not what I was saying? But you're not 19, you're almost 30, and you're not financially dependent on your parents. Also, your parents aren't nearly that rich, and even if they were, I know them, and they are not nearly that stupid. So, at that point, to get into that situation, you would need to personally drop $250k on a ticket, then weld yourself inside of an experimental deep sea submarine controlled via text message and an xbox controller. Like, there are several steps you personally could have Not taken to avoid being in this situation, including simply not deciding to be on an underwater death trap. So, yeah, that'd be on your head."

He then got even MORE upset, and started yelling about how insensitive I was being. After some back and forth, I got it out of him that he had been speaking metaphorically--that, from his perspective, I was saying that I thought he deserved to die of COVID, because he had made the choice to spend time with his grandfather despite knowing he had COVID.

I assured him that no, that was not what I was saying in the slightest, and he calmed down, but I was still upset. He had been yelling at me, after all, and it legitimately didn't occur to me that he was speaking metaphorically, while I was still on the very literal experimental submarine.

I asked one of my friends/his other partner (30M) about it after it happened, and he laughed and said that my boyfriend was being ridiculous. It's been several months at this point, it was a silly argument, I'm not going to bring it up again (because that would be weird) and I'm sure he's forgotten all about it. That said, if I'm being honest, I still feel kind of indignant that he immediately assumed I was secretly hoping he was going to die in a submarine. Am I being insane here?

What are these acronyms?

[lolirockenjoyer]

Theory and headcanons about Mephisto and Praxina origin!!

We all know they're grandchildren of court jester in Ephedia and theory that one of their parents is or was also court jester is definetely my favorite.

–We can see they both have big knowledge about Ephedia kingdom. In "Home pt.1" when Mephisto was going to through the portal leading to the castle in Ephedia he said he's going home and the most interesting thing of all is Praxina who is able to wield Iris' necklace and even know how to use it good. So I think they're next court jesters in Ephedia kingdom

–Another thing I noticed is importance of cobra's symbol. Mephisto has it a lot. On his uniform and his gloves. But this are not the only things with cobra symbol. The staff Mephisto got from probably his grandfather forms the shape of a cobra.

But he also had his spell book which also can belong to twins' family. Let's see Gramorr didn't know about her the same as Praxina who also didn't know about the staff.

There is also a cobra.

Based on this, I theorized that the sign of the cobra is court jesters symbol. I did a research about court jesters in royal families and I read they all had symbol which helped to recognize them. Maybe cobra sign is symbol of court jesters in male line and butterfly (or moth?) is symbol of female line?

–Don't forget about Mephisto and Praxina skills. In royal families jesters were shared on two types if I can call this this way. The first ones were mentally disabled people who were humiliated by the nobility and the second ones were smart and educated people who were by the king/queen side to mainly played an entertainment role such as singing, tricks, dancing, theatre, joking and stuff but also help and advise king/queen. Their acrobatic skills such as back flips, somersaults (Praxina) and professional dancing (Praxina) may indicate their upcoming position.

We can also see in "If you can't beat them" that Mephisto juggling.

They definetely had artistic performances past based on this.

–Praxina seems to be annoy or offend by her position. I read that most of court jesters weren't treated well on royal court no matter what position or education they had. That can explain Praxina's hatred and grudge to princesses especially Iris (what combines my belief that they are future jesters in Ephedia kingdom). Praxina also she expressed her dislike for wealth or rich people by calling it tacky (tacky in Polish dubbing, idk how it is English or French).

So yeah. That's my favorite theory about their origin;)

[katherinakaina]

Being bullied for knowing another language is a real thing. Think of all the animosity people feel towards the Bachelor for saying, what, 3-4 phrases in Latin.

Storytime.

Every Russian feminist remembers how Nixelpixel was bullied and I presume is still being bullied. It really was Russian gamer gate and Nixelpixel is Russian Anita Sarkeesian. Both were tormented for being feminists, that's the base of it. But Anita was also a target of antisemitism and anti Armenian rhetoric. Nixelpixel is a skinny white Russian, very little to add on top. So she was bullied for speaking English.

She is bilingual and as many of us bilinguals do, she mixed languages in her speech in the way that I do and feels natural to me and all my friends.

The Russian Internet was not having it, not even a little bit. Unanimous consensus was that she is doing it only to appear smarter.

For English speaking people in the first world it maybe hard to comprehend. English is just the default language. But remember how conservatives react when some nonbinary teenager makes a video about cultural appropriation or any other academic topic and suddenly they all feel like they don't know certain words?! And they have to google words to understand someone's complex speech?! This is unheard of! And what right does this "beneath me in social hierarchy" have to know something that I don't?!! Outrageous!

The core of this emotion is envy. Knowing English good enough so you become legitimately bilingual is a privilege in Russia. Knowing a lot of stuff about society and understanding complex topics is a privilege. You have time and money for education. Or you got lucky and had educated parents. Envy becomes even more venomous when the person you envy is supposed to be beneath you.

Like, I don't really get it. But that's how I make sense of other people hating me all my life for being... eloquent. As if they anticipate me being hostile because they are less eloquent than me and attack me preventively.

This is made worse by me being autistic and forgetting all the time that you must make all humble song and dance around your every achievement so not to trigger neurotypical rage. I genuinely forget which words are too smart and which are fine. The idea that I'm trying to sound smarter on purpose is so laughable to me.

Returning to the Bachelor. He's a doctor, he studied at university. Do you hate him when he uses medical jargon? What's the deal with Latin then? They study Latin in med school. It is a mandatory course. For me this trait of his always meant to signify that he took his education very seriously and knows everything that he studied very well.

When people just assume that someone, a character or a person, does anything just to look smart I'm a little triggered. I know I'm not safe in that company.

And I know that all of it is incredibly whiny. Knowledge is a privilege, as I said. Dankovsky is a privileged man. I'm not blaming those who feel uncomfortable around learned people. I'm not blaming those who are not into such characters.

But Dankovsky is not gatekeeping knowledge though! He looks like a man who would nerd out about Latin to you, if you only asked. He gives his degree away for free! It's not the same as rich people hoarding wealth. He's eager to share his knowledge! But now he is a coloniser imposing his western ideas onto indigenous society.

Oh well, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Maybe it's not envy then? Maybe they want a smart sounding person but the one who would agree with them all the time? Like, Peterson uses a lot of long words and they love him. Hm...

[kiki-shortsnout]

Something I'm working for @the-elle-kat! A Sugardaddy A/B/O in which Tony (omega) ran away from home when he was pregnant, and since then has been leaping from crappy part-time jobs to make ends meet.

Stephen (Alpha) a famous, and rich, neurosurgeon has been looking for a caregiver for his mother, who is paralysed from the waist down after a horse riding accident.

***

‘Good afternoon, Doctor Stephen Strange I presume?’ the man on the other side of Stephen’s door answered.

He has manners. Stephen begrudgingly admitted, his ego stroked at the use of his title. The omega was slight, small in stature as was typical for male omegas, well-groomed and Stephen took a moment to appraise him. He’d never been with an omega, preferring the uncomplicated nature of betas, their lack of pheromones better suited to Stephen’s need for control in his life, but his man might have made him look twice.

‘You must be Tony Stark, please come in.’

‘Yeah, about that, I’m really sorry but I’ve had a slight hiccup with my babysitter and…’

Opening the door wider, Stephen saw there was a small child attached to his hand, a girl with the same huge chocolate eyes as the omega, her free hand clutching a stuffed animal of some description.

You have got to be kidding.

He should do them all a kindness and shut the door in his face now, but Wong’s warning hung over him, so he gritted his teeth and stepped back, opening the door wider.

‘Take a seat,’ he spoke through clenched teeth after they’d followed him down the hallway, indicating the impressive dining table near his piano, watching the child like a hawk as she moved, touching nothing as she sat on the chair

At least it's well-behaved, Stephen thought to himself, sitting opposite them and smoothing out the application form. A brief look at the omega’s neck told him everything he needed to know. Unbonded, a single parent then. Explains the high school education.

‘So, how long did it take you to judge me?’ Tony asked, folding his arms over his chest and giving him a sardonic smile.

‘I don’t know why you think that you’re qualified for this job, why you believed bringing a child along for an interview would help your prospects,’ Stephen told him frankly.

‘I apologize for bringing her, I know it’s unprofessional, but it would be irresponsible for me to leave her alone, or ask someone she doesn’t know to watch her. In terms of being qualified, no, I have nothing on paper that can show you my qualifications, but I do have experience of being a single parent.’

Stephen said nothing more, almost daring the omega to elaborate.

‘No one knows time management better than a single parent, how else could I work and support my child? I did it alone, cared for her, and stayed committed to her development. I’ve dressed her, fed her, got her to her appointments, and that was what you were asking for in the application form.’

He scoffed, the sound making the small girl flinch.

‘I think you’re oversimplifying the care my mother requires. I do not doubt the amount of effort that goes into child rearing, but those skills aren’t applicable here.’ Stephen couldn’t believe he was even explaining this, let alone entertaining this farce of an interview.

‘Doctor Strange!’

Evangeline, his mother’s carer burst through the door, her hair standing on edge from where she’d obviously run sweaty hands through it, splotches of red on her cheeks from her frustrated anger.

‘I can’t, not anymore. I know I promised to stay until you found someone else, but that woman is impossible.’

‘Evangeline, wait,’ Stephen pleaded, getting to his feet, ignoring his guests as he tried to chase after her.

‘Don’t listen to what he says, she’s a monster,’ Evangeline directed towards Stark before she fled the penthouse, ignoring Stephen’s repeated calls for her to stop.

He’d only made it a few steps before the front door slammed, the sound echoing through the space of his penthouse.

What the hell was he going to do now?

‘I think it’s best if-’

‘Stephen!’

The headache that had been brewing behind his eyes grew in strength, pounding against the inside of his skull as his mother wheeled herself into the room, her rage in her scent thick enough to make Stephen’s nose curl, and he spared a brief thought for how the omega might find it.

‘What happened?’ Stephen asked, his voice monotone. He’d long ago learnt to keep his emotions out of it, knowing anything he said would make situations such as this worse.

‘What happened is another one of those bimbos you hired completely ignored my wishes and began doing things without my permission. I don’t understand why you think it’s so hard to-’

‘Mother, we talked about this. They’re here to help you, to help you be as independent as possible. However, they’re not your emotional punching bags-’

‘They’re supposed to ask me at least-’

‘And we both know your demands are impossible-’

‘If you just listened to me for once!’

‘That’s enough!’ A clap of hands interrupted them, and they both looked at the standing omega, his hands still clasped together as he stared at the pair of them.  ‘We’re all grown adults here, so let's stop shouting over each other and listen, shall we?’ He spoke to them as if they were of the same age as the child still sitting at the table, and Stephen stretched to his full height, outraged at the impudence.

‘What happened?’ His voice lowered, becoming sweet and coaxing as he addressed his mother, and to his wonderment her anger dissipated, her eyes wide and uncertain with the omega’s full attention on her.

‘I wanted to go for a walk. I haven’t left the apartment in a few days and-’

‘That’s because you made Evangeline’s life hell for-’

‘Nope, no interrupting. You’ll get your say in a minute.’ The omega held his hand up, silencing Stephen’s explanation, and he could see the slight smile on his mother’s lips, a genuine amusement he hadn’t seen in months. Forcing his outrage down, he shifted from foot to foot, gripping hold of his temper as he watched events unfold.

‘You were saying…’

‘Beverly.’

‘Beverly. Sorry, please continue.’

[raviolirash]

This is all just a way too long personal theory/ramble abt the boi if u disagree that ok

Tldr I believe pre-Caz Astarion is a young asshole who is punished with a job he doesn't take seriously, and his noble parents don't respect him enough to see how much of a good person he could be given a proper chance at redemption and it all goes to shit, naturally.

Long version:

I see few years pre-Cazador Astarion as that asshole teenager who's getting away with everything. He's used to being told that he's handsome, rich, and above others. He's getting away with things, he's spoiled, and has no experience of the world. Especially work experience.

My theory is that Astarion was forced into the magistrate job as a punishment and just didn't give enough of a fuck about the world to take the job seriously, as opposed to consciously being malicious/evil. He is power hungry in the game, half as a response to being powerless for 200 years. That being said:

He's a rogue, through and through. It's implied a lot including with the "I've missed this" line that he wasn't a proper and polite city boy before Cazador. I don't see him doing paperwork or sitting next to a large fancy dinner table without screwing around with a dagger. He slouches. He has his feet on the table. He's a nerd.

If you call The Watch in the final battle, he jokes that it feels wrong to call for guards to come and do something. He's not a snitch. If he sees someone stealing from a sick person he gives a thumbs up. He canonically hates cops lol.

Leading to my theory that he was being so rambunctious and belligerent, his noble parents/elders forced him into the magistrate job as a punishment of sorts because they were just so sick of his bullshit. Just rich people things.

So now:

You have a handsome young elf, with people probably fawning over his beauty, known for breaking laws and being The Worst, not respecting authority and etc. And he's put into a magistrate position through presumably nepotism. He becomes one of those asshole sons of a rich bastard who is a fuck up. Rich, spoiled, knows that he's above others which influences his haphazard rulings and provides him a nice power trip, has a bit of education but not enough to not steal from grandmas.*1

Of course it's going to be a glorious mess! He doesn't care about the world enough to take a stand and try to change the corrupt system from within. Fuck that. He's going to make it worse. Who cares. If there was any good in him, at best it was maybe because he knew it's already fucked and he's not there to be a hero and fix it.

It makes sense that he would double down on the "evil" once freed from Cazador in Act 1. He's used to everything going south because - ironically enough - of the world's failure to do anything good for the helpless and weak. Without realizing that he was also part of the problem once. Hell. He got beaten up by Gur for a ruling he made and his takeaway was "all Gur are bad" and not Baldur's Gate fucking SUCKS and something should be done. No seriously. The politics of the city and the ruling systems are so fucking broken. Bhaal the god of MURDER LITERALLY LIVES UNDERNEATH THE CITY. What is WRONG with this town.

Either way, I don't believe he was consciously and maliciously an evil person. Especially given the scale of evil the city of Baldur's Gate has to offer. If he was, he would have been much worse. He was corrupt in a shithead way and not "we're going to take resources from orphanages to build a machine that punches you in the dick when you tell your boss you are too tired to work overtime in the mines" *2 *3

I also think that he was the reason why Cazador implemented the "no nobles lol that raises suspicion" rule. And the reason why no one of Astarion's family recognized him was because they were too snobby for Elfsong or Blushing Mermaid.

I think his parents still loved him though.

Clarification station under read more

*1. (I guess this does fall under some people's definition of evil, but for me honestly the true evil is the system which allows these people fall into power in the first place and in this essay---.)

*2. (Actions of negligent people in power aren't diminished. If negligence causes a death it is still a death.)

*3. (I don't think he was a young baby either, like a lot of fandom does. He was still young when he was turned but not a teenager. I just believe he was even younger when he started working as a Magistrate. Like on a personal note, it was really heartbreaking when Billy Kametz died because he died so horrifically young. He was 35. 35 is still heartbreaking young.)

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

Long time lurker here who finally took the plunge and watched/skimmed through their ‘historical’ doc. For what it's worth, here's my amateur psychoanalysis of it:

They both suffer from substantial minority complexes: Him for not being his brother (who’s more good looking, smarter and is to be king). She for being a child of a broken home and divorced parents with sometimes dubious backgrounds. She seems to always have wanted to be her own version of Gwyneth Paltrow, in all ways.

She seems to suffer from some sort of magical thinking, where her life necessarily must feel like a Hollywood film. I think her main sources of inspiration are Notting Hill, Four Weddings and a Funeral, You’e got Mail, When Harry met Sally, etc. The song choices, the wedding speech, poems etc. give it away. Reality probably became too painful for her at some point as a child, so she started inventing a magical version of it that she’s trying to recreate. Becoming rich and famous is prob her way of proving to anyone who made her feel inferior as a child that she is worthy, even superior. She needs people to think she lives in some sort of ideal Pinterest version of California where she’s a modern Gwyneth Paltrow, royal to boot. It’s all wide brimmed Cali-hats, barefoot Joni Mitchell running, hop-in-the-car for a secret beach swim with your lover, topped off with avocados kind of vibes. Not a care in the world, happy happy happy. It’s all very nineties, but it makes sense considering when she grew up. She’s enacting the dream of the hurt child of a divorce, and he’s paying for it.

Of course she hates Kate. She represents everything Meghan wanted to be growing up: from a loving core family, financially comfortable, tall and slim (I bet that’s a thing), polite, educated, artsy, knows how to carry herself, etc. Kate not playing into Meghan’s hugging and ‘American’ ways was probably too much of a painful rejection for Meghan, a reminder that she’s really a fairly clumsy person with poor manners from a broken family (my guess is this is what she actually feels like inside, even if it’s subconscious). You can see it in the way she looks at Kate that she triggers some deep sense of inferiority, and so her solution is to be a b****, because she was never taught that jealousy usually says more about yourself than it does about the other person.

Her mom doesn’t feel genuine, not a lot of kindness shines through there. It’s interesting how close she seems to have gotten to her daughter once Harry’s credit cards were in the picture. Harsh, I know, but the whole thing feels off.

I somehow think the truest thing they have in common is that they’re both products of divorced parents, with dads who have felt a lot of subsequent guilt, trying to compensate for their failings by not calling out bad behaviour, and not making them take responsibility for anything growing up. The result is two overgrown teenagers with no sense of responsibility, no self deprecation, and zero self awareness. Heading for disaster methinks. 

Everyone is taking advantage of his status and money, and he doesn’t see it. Very sad. 

He seems happiest when he's smoking weed.

She shape shifts constantly; in their ‘candid’ moments (who knows what is actually real, it’s all filmed), she’s the uber feminine, helpless, sweet girl that Harry gets to save, who makes him feel smart. When she’s being interviewed independently, or sitting at a UN conference table, her voice deepens and she shows up as someone completely different, the ‘smart one’. There are numerous examples of her shape shifting throughout the years; it's been there from the beginning. 

I actually find Harry and her dad quite similar - both bratty ***holes.

Sorry for the lengthiness, and thanks for a great blog! You've provided sanity with your great analysis of this whole drama throughout the years - thank you :)

Thanks for sending this in!

I agree with the inferiority complex, and I think they both compensated for that by creating these over-the-top personas based on their paid press. The trigger for Harry's new persona was his time in Afghanistan and the trigger for Meghan's new persona was getting her suits role.

They both suffer from magical thinking. Thanks for focusing on Meg's magical realism, instead of Harry's. I found the bus tour of Hollywood boring when I saw the documentary and I wondered why they bothered to put it in, but I think you're right and it's all about her magical transformation. I noted the romcom element as well and one thing I found interesting is that the first three episodes of the documentary resemble regular royal documentaries with stock music, but then the last three incorporate romcom music. It's a big shift in tone, and it also happens in the book. The first few chapters are royal biography (albeit kind of weird) and then it's all rom com with a big dash of spite.

I had not considered this aspect of the Kate rivalry, and I'm going to have to think about this. I think you're right, but it goes a bit deeper. I think Kate was supposed to become part of "the family she never had." She was supposed to be the loving sister Sam was not. That's how the magical thinking worked. That's why there is so much bitterness towards Kate. Notice that Charles actually stepped into the dad role Meghan expected him to play, but Will and Kate were not willing to play the part of loving brother and sister. That's why there is so much anger there.

There's something off about Doria, but she's smart enough to stay on the sidelines.

Divorce is a big factor, I agree.

He doesn't see it at all, which is odd because we all thought both he and Will had a good radar for users. It almost seems like he's used to lower-level users, and he doesn't realize how things work at this level of money where people are willing to give you one of their empty homes until they figure out how they can monetize you.

Drugs are a huge factor. I didn't understand how dependent he was on them until I read his book.

Everyone seems to experience a different Meghan, and many people (Naniki, Nina, staff) have said she starts out charming and then she turns on you and becomes a different person. It's going to be interesting to see how she turns on Harry.

They say you end up marrying your dad, and Meghan seems to be proving that. She turned a prince into Thomas Markle.

Thanks for the kind words. It has been a wild ride, hasn't it.

[purplebass]

Lila's Backstory Theory

As I talked about Lila with @bluecichlid, they raised a good point about her backstory. Lila was first introduced to us as a thief, but she seemed educated and even well-read.

So this theory deals with the possibility that Lila's mother might've been an aristocrat or had a title and Lila doesn't even know about that or has completely concealed this bit from her past and V wanted to use it in the future and that's why it never came up.

@my-ruthless-zoyalai I'm tagging you too because you asked about this theory!

This isn't something to take from granted in XIX London, because we know that around that time, if you were a peasant, you either worked in a factory as a child or you were a thief. You can take a look at Dicken's Oliver Twist to see how orphaned children lived in London (it is set 30 years after Lila was a child, but things hadn't changed much for kids). If you were a poor kid, you didn't have many options to survive. Surely, school and education was the last thing on Georgian kids' minds. There were exceptions, of course, but I don't think that's the case with Lila.

Lila often says that her mother read William Blake's poems to her before bed. This is so specific, and while Blake had published his poems before Lila was even born and he was pretty known, would a peasant appreciate him? No offence to Georgian London peasants, but I doubt it. A lot of peasants didn't even know how to read, and poetry is harder to understand.

Lila's mother might've been an estimator of literature, but my idea is that she might've come from a rich family and that is why she was familiar with Blake. I'm not saying a filthy rich family, but modest enough for Lila's mother to be educated and pass a little of that culture down to her daughter. She might've even been an aristocrat with a title in decline, for all we know. Because aristocrats didn't work. They only inherited a fortune and if they weren't careful with their money and didn't make any investments, the money would end. So Lila's mother might've had a dowry/small fortune when she married Lila's father, but he squandered all their funds on alcohol and possibly other things and they had probably a lot of debts. Maybe Lila's father was not an aristocrat and by marrying him, her mom lost her dowry. I don't know. Lila's mother might've also died because they didn't have the money to pay for a doctor or medicine.

ETA to add: Lila's parents might've had a reversed "Persuasion" by Jane Austen situation. Her parents might've opposed their marriage because they came from different classes, but they got married anyway. In Persuasion, the fmc wants to marry the mc, who is a naval officer, but her father opposes because they come from different social classes. Seven years later, the situation is reversed because the fmc's family is in debt and they need money and the mc became a rich and respectable captain. In the end they get married and the fmc joins the mc on his voyages on his ship. Maybe something like that happened to Lila's parents as well. Have you ever thought that Lila might've wanted to become a captain because her father was tied to the naval world? Also, this "Persuasion" situation also reminds me of Kell and Lila's seven years after situation. He is also a prince who decided to travel aboard a ship to be with the person he loves, who is a captain. Lila stayed with her father because he was the only one left, but without her mother's protection (because it's clear Lila remembers her mother fondly and still grieves her) she was left at the mercy of her absent father until he literally sold her to pay a tab. After then, she began her thief life/identity.

So what I think is that Lila might be an aristocrat and have a title, but maybe she 1) doesn't even know 2) she knows but she never told this to anyone because it's a part of her Grey London life and from a past she chose to leave behind. When Lila meets Kell, he also hides that he is a prince until they are in Red London.

Parallels that seem to sustain this theory

Lila has parallels with other characters. Not just Kell, but also Alucard. Parallels might be a clue about personal stories.

Lila the hypothetical "poor aristocrat" was sold by her father to pay a tab and this event marks the official beginning of her "thief/commoner" identity.

Kell the hypothetical "poor commoner" was sold by his parents because he was Antari and this event marks the official beginning of his "prince/magician" identity.

When we meet Alucard, Lila also believes he's just a privateer, but then we find out that he is a royal and he was falsely accused of being a pirate because of his father and brother.

You can see how the stories of these three characters seem to mirror each other in different ways.

In Threads, there were two moments that stuck with me that also reinforced this "Lila is an aristocrat" theory.

In this book, Lila "took on" Alucard's previous identity of a privateer. But she's also an Antari like Kell. She is also an aristocrat by association with an acquired title because at the palace everyone knows that she is Kell's partner. They call her "lady" and she hates that and the palace life. On another post I wrote how she might hate this because she doesn't like labels nor wants to just be "Kell's lady", which is true. But what if Lila used to live in a pretty house with servants doing things for her until her father brought their family to ruins? So maybe that's why Lila finds the palace so triggering and runs out of it most of the time. Does it remind her of her lost childhood?

This last bit is totally mere speculation. Lila might not even know about her heritage, and maybe she will meet her father again in future Threads, and that's how we will know.

The second bit that might've hinted (or maybe I saw too much into it) is a line Ned tells Tes when she's about to leave. He asks her to say hi to Kell and Lila, and says something like "Kell is a prince, but Lila is not a princess." I don't believe she is a princess but this is a title, and it may be a hint: 1) she has a title she doesn't know about 2) she will become a princess if she marries Kell? Because the title of princess can be acquired by marriage. The title Alucard has in Threads, "consort," is also a title used to refer to the partner of a royal who isn't a monarch in his own right.

This is mere speculation for now, but I hope we do get answers in future Threads, it would be amazing to know more of Lila's backstory!

[reddogf13]

so yeah ... i felt outlast 2 lacked some of the heart that made me really like outlast 1. such as the characters, especially the mental patients, shown as people not just NPCs being a nuisance to you. outlast 2 had crumbs of this like val and her kids or the "relationship" between marta and knoth. but overall those bits get easily lost or forgotten when trying to deal with annoying chases or level set up to navigate. the one character who could have really helped flesh out all of templegate out of notes - Ethan. only got like 2 min of screen time before being killed off. he could have used to reveal that templegate really went off its rocker only this past year. (if you accept that all the notes happened within this year. then vals heretic break off, for ex, only happened 4 months prior to blake/ lynns arrival. a month before her breakoff was the childrens cull. before then the whole anti chist posessing kids wasint a idea in knoths mind, *cough murkoff suggestion cough* however he knew "the end" in general was coming for the past many years. templegate itself is only 42 years old based on its est sign.)

the bits that also would have been really nice were left on the cutting floor. such as blake overhearing marta crying and knoth needing to comfort her.

some sort of shake or earthquake causing knoths pills to fall and his mask slipping over a radio broadcast. cursing "if one fucking pill fell." before realizing hes live on the radio and slipping his false godly mask on.

since all these bits are missing. these characters are just chasing NPCs or strictly just an NPC voice talking in the background. some really good characters that were overall wasted.

it also feels like redbarrels didint make their past exactly, aside from knoth. they got the blocks for it, but its missing the foundation? like martas shown as hateing her killing. so she had some positive teachings of "thou shalt not kill" at some point. and that she may not have been an enforcer her whole life. in game the angry mob stops following blake at "martas peak" (or a similar title i cant remember) which was the slaughter house/ cattle barn. the place is littered by notes from knoth to marta, cloth peices that resemble her dark outfit are on the floor, and overall this seems to be her place. and not just a in general area shes taken over. overall, seems/ feels marta may have worked with cattle. making sense because someone strong needs to handle them/ the meat. all the easily slaughtered cows around also point to her doing. a cow aint just gonna be killed easily by a mob, its gonna fight. but it cant fight a whole pickaxe smashed into it.

___________________________________________

val has a pretty big vocabulary/ elligant writing for someone from templegate and their fancy smancy EdUmAcAtIoNs. having adults writing like 3rd graders. feeling like she got a little more education then everyone, maybe even more then knoth. and she had to get that from somewhere, possibly books, but it feels like those kinds wouldn't be around/ allowed. which leaves the possibly of someone close to do it, like a actual good teacher or her parents.

which is entirely possible. real life cults actually do go after those with high education, LOTS of money, but who have no religious background. people often see hollywoods version of cults. the overly obvious kind that people would never buy into. but real cults know not to act like that and subtlety gain members who dont know better. aka arnt warned about false prophets in church, because they never went to one and had the warning signs broken down to them.

making it kinda funny to think all of knoths members being unknowingly rich people through inheritance. which also loops back to the ranch he ran before the raid. the owner beingmost likely another highly educated- lots of money, but no religious background who fell under knoth. not knowing any better because of inexperience in religion and just seeing that he was a priest out to do good.

__________________________________________

then theres Blake and his background after Jessica's murder. there is a very high chance he stayed in that school with father Loutermilch. predators are opportunistic, doesint matter if girl or boy. they go after those who are most venerable and after Jessica was gone, he would have aimed for another child. most likely Blake becoming unintentionally easy prey. using his involvement as a way to guilt him quiet. and a lot of the things Blake experiences in his flash nightmares could be how Loutermilch tortured him psychologically after the event. such as the singing in the bathroom. the insults such as the phone scene. on top of all that MAYBE Blakes parents died around the same time. as he briefly mentions at one point. "My dad died within a month of my mom. He was perfectly healthy until she was gone, and then..." (the wiki lists the year of jessicas death being the same for them, unknown month for them while jess was in DEC. I'm not sure how they confirmed the date, but oh well.)

it would add onto all his trauma with Blake being only 10 at the time and Loutermilch could have known this was going on and seen this as an easy cover to abuse Blake. in a "hes depressed/ failing because of the multiple deaths this year." and not for the worse reasons hes committed.

[llyncooljones]

call me sir - twelve days of rowaelin '22.

ao3 || masterlist || twelve days of rowaelin ‘22 masterlist

prompt: christmas activity gone wrong. series: part two to who is he? word count: 1300 trigger warnings: language, smut, sexting tag list: @live-the-fangirl-life @rowaelinismyotp  @fireheartwhitethorn4ever @elentiyawhitethorn @rowanaelinn @autumnbabylon @leiawritesstories @backtobl4ck  @letstakethedawn @rowaelinscourt

hi.

this is aelin. galathynius.

from the xmas fair. last week, at the weekend. and you overheard me, and i bumped into you?

Hi.

This is Rowan.

From the Christmas Fair. And I knew it was you, you’re literally the only person I’ve given my number to in the last year. Plus, I don’t know many Aelins. No need for awkward introductions—a pet peeve of mine.

well, good to know you gave me the right number, lol. was kinda worrying abt it. couldn’t believe you’d actually wanna get to know someone who was plotting an entire book to have an excuse to go up to you.

figured you might like brave girls, or some shit.

Not to be crude, but I do believe that openly, and really quite loudly, discussing the frequency and quality of dick you and your friend were getting was quite brave. As was discussing the size of my dick, and my possible friend’s dick sizes.

I don’t know anyone else who’s quite brave enough to do such a thing.

You have that going for yourself.

what i’m hearing is that you do like brave girls.

what does ‘at least you’ve got that going for yourself’ mean? i’ve got tons going for me.

No. I like girls with blonde hair, the most unique eyes I’ve ever had the pleasure of staring into, who come up to my chin. And for the record, you’ve got everything going for yourself. You are singlehandedly just everything.

Don’t go fishing for compliments. I know that you know that you’re fucking gorgeous. Don’t play games with me—I won’t play nice, nor fair.

i’ve come to realise you won't play nice or fair.

i’ve now learnt my lesson, teach.

and thank you for the compliments.

i get off on them.

If I’m going to be your teacher, and I’m going to have to teach you your lesson, you will refer to me as ‘sir’. That is, if you’re game?

I could have sworn it was big men, big hands, and big dicks you got off on. Not compliments. correct me if wrong of course.

maybe you will have to teach me my lesson. sir.

and of fucking course i’m game, didn’t you overhear me saying that i was a spoilt rich girl with a secretly traumatic past. if that means anything, sir, it means i’ve been having teacher x student fantasies since i was fifteen. sir.

i get off on all sorts of things—part of being a spoilt rich girl with a secretly traumatic past. we always have the craziest kinks. compliments and praise because my parents neglected me. similarly, some sort of teacher fetish. big men, big hands, big dicks—because we feel like they can protect us, keep us safe, complete us, which has previously never been felt by us before.

and so many more—you’ve barely scratched the surface, sir.

I can hear your evil laughter, Aelin, and I’ve never heard you laugh.

I’m always up for being your senior-year English teacher, call me Mr Whitethorn.

And trust me, I look forward to diving into the very depths of your sexual deviancy.

mr whitethorn. i like it.

you would’ve been a hit at my high school—so many spoilt rich girls with secretly traumatic pasts.

and, sir, it makes me wet when you use phrases like ‘sexual deviancy’

It gets me fucking rock hard when you call me Sir, or Mr Whitethorn. you have no idea how so.

in that case…

mr whitethorn? what’s today’s lesson on?

I think apt place to begin your education, would be with one’s own pleasure. In my experience, people put so much pressure on the idea of perfection when it comes to sex, and such acts between two people. So much so that the pleasure is slowly stripped away, and replaced with worries that won’t stop, creating a wall between yourself, and your pleasure.

Today, I’m going to focus our lesson on touch yourself, Aelin.

and what are you going to teach me, that i don’t already know? I’m in my twenties, I’ve gone to college, and i’ve been coming by my own fingers since i was fifteen. (clearly there is a correlation between teachers and me coming)

plus, and I mean this with the utmost respect, what are you—a man—going to me—a woman—about my body—a woman’s body—mr whitethorn.

If you want to doubt me, go right ahead, but know Miss Galathynius, it’s not what I can teach you, it’s what I can do to you.

I recall my language making you wet, I can’t teach you that. I can do it to you though, I can make you wet when I use long, sophisticated words, confuse you a little. Make you feel both insecure, and so very, very safe. I can manipulate your body simply with typed words.

You’d do well to remember that.

sir?

mr whitethorn?

excuse me, i’m texting you. where the fuck are you? are you fucking kidding me, right now?

Are you ready to apologise, Miss Galathynius?

for fucking what? get real.

For making assumptions about me. You seem to be under the impression that you can get away with being rude to me. You can’t, I’m unlike any teacher you’ve encountered before.

And you ‘get real’, Miss Galathynius. You can try and convince yourself that you aren’t soaking through your panties, you’re so turned on. But I know you are. You can tell yourself you aren’t going to touch yourself when you set down your phone. But I know you are.

I’ll make a deal with you, Miss Galathynius, if you message me how wet you are, and whether or not your fingers are too, I’ll continue the lesson. We’ll forget all about the fact that you swore at me no less, and that you were insolent and bratty, and you can come as many times as want during this text chain, but not afterwards.

You understand?

yes, sir.

my panties are so wet, my skirt is too.

and my fingers are fucking coated.

Take your panties off.

In fact, Miss Galathynius, get naked. Lock the door. Get comfortable. Tell me, ‘yes, Sir’ when you’re done.

yes, sir.

Put your fingers—the wet ones, before you ask—in your mouth. Fucking suck on them.

Have you got your fingers in your mouth, can you taste yourself? Fucking wish I could taste you.

yes.

what about you, sir?

You can bet your life on the fact that I’m touching myself.

That got you hotter, wetter. More desperate. Want me there, don’t you? I want you here.

im close. keep telling me what ur gonna do

You want to know what I’d do to you if I had you in my bed? I’d strip you, peel away every scrap of clothing you had on, until I could see every inch of your skin, until I can mark out every blemish with bite marks.

I’d bite your nipples, soothe them with my tongue, and then I’d bite them harder. Harder until you’re screaming, and I won’t know if it’s in pain or pleasure. Maybe I’d make them bleed. All depends on whether or not you were a good girl.

It would have got you wet, you’d be dripping all over my sheets. Your cunt would be throbbing it’d be so desperate for me. I’d treat it to a lick, lave my tongue over your clit, edging you towards your orgasm. When you’re right there I’d slide a finger in, tease you from the inside, and give you the best orgasm of your life.

And then I’d do it all over again.

holy fuck. oh fuck, i just came so hard.

fucking what?

i literally messaged you to ask if you wanted to grab a hot chocolate or something or see if you were available for a date or something. pre-dorian’s party.

And instead, you got this, huh? Regretting it, yet?

that was arguably the best orgasm i’ve ever had—and we’re in different postcodes. so, no. and i don’t think i’ll ever regret this.

And I’d love to grab a drink with you.

[lohstandfound]

⭐️

oh oh oh okay. there's so many i want to talk about

okay. first off, i want to talk about rolling. lucas has always been such an interesting character to me in bare. like. 'hey, i got the goods. i don't wanna take care of you all night so we're going to go over drug safety 101 again, okay?', claims he's not going to babysit his friends but goes to take care of ivy, he's the school drug dealer but the sin he confesses to is extra nyquil.

he goes up to jason, holding the very thing jason will use to overdose. he says 'you know we're still cool, right?'. he's not sure the best way to say it but he tries to tell his best/close friend that it's okay, you've still got me

how do you think he felt to find out he supplied jason with the thing he used to kill himself. and it's not like jason didn't know how much would be lethal.

anyway, i think about lucas a lot

i decided michael would be the better person to take that sort of role in the bapo au. it makes sense, honestly. but it just makes the story a little more tragic.

michael is gay, jenna is the only one who knows. michael is probably just as terrified as rich and jake are about coming out in the environment they have spent most of their life in.

unsure whether saint cecelia's was supposed to be just a high school or not. my catholic school went from year 7 - 13. which is probably middle school to high school. there's another school in my town that is year 1 - 13 (so i guess elementary to high school). either way it's highly likely that they went to a catholic primary school. a catholic education system is all they're familiar with

ample time for them to have it drilled into them gay = bad.

if michael just paid a little bit more attention to jake and rich, maybe he would have noticed they were a lot closer than just best bros. maybe he would have noticed that when jake and rich had their falling out, rich was a lot more upset for it being a best friend fight. if michael paid a little more attention, maybe he would have noticed. if michael paid a little more attention, he could have told them that they weren't the only ones.

the 'you know we're still cool, right?' is a lot more loaded when it comes from michael knowing that his close friend is just like him. and michael knows what it's like to feel so alone with such a heavy secret. there were so many things that michael to say to offer some sort of support, he could have told them. but 'you know we're still cool, right?' was the best he could come up with. and that wasn't enough.

anyway. onto the fic itself. the bapo fic doesnt really focus on anyone else during the rave. makes sense since it is mostly focused on rich and jake. but i wanted to explore a little more on michael and his relationship with his faith and his sexuality, which is something he struggles with. his parents didn't take it well, he cannot tell his friends, jenna is the only one who knows, and sneaking out of the school grounds is the only time he can shed that persona of who he has to be to make it through school.

he's another opposite to jake in that sense. because even though they're far away from the prying eyes of their classmates and teachers, and many of their friends are too high to even pay any attention, Jake still takes Rich outside to kiss him. Whereas Michael finds a guy to spend the night with until he notices brooke's panic when chloe suddenly isn't doing too well.

this is a statement that goes for the bare characters too, but all of them are under so much pressure to live up to the expectations set for them by the catholic church. even when they think they've got an escape away from the church figures always watching them, they're not alone. which is something michael thinks about

he's struggling a lot with the relationship of his faith and sexuality, which i imagine would lead to some doubts in his faith at some point.

it's complicated

(and i get it)

(also i need to note that the choice of 'sebastian' being michael's confirmation name was in reference to st sebastian being referred to as the patron saint of the gays putting it simply. and that is definitely why michael chose sebastian. i have no reasoning for jenna choosing veronica. veronica was the first saint i thought of)

just for fun i want to talk about im so obsessed with your ex. the entire concept came to me because every time i listen to that song, i can't help but read it a little bit sapphic. anyway, a lot of olivia rodrigo songs give off chloe vibes. and i had the concept of it working with madeline as well while i was walking to work. made a post, someone agreed to it, couldn't stop thinking about it, decided to write it. (and somehow the song made it to the top of my on repeat playlist on spotify)

i love writing sapphics and confusing feelings of attraction with feelings of jealousy. it works so well for madeline, chloe, and brooke. but this fic is solely from madeline's pov. and i haven't really written for madeline before, if ever.

it was a mixture of the idea that everything madeline does is for the bit and pissing chloe off, and madeline misplacing her feelings of jealousy because she's totally jealous that chloe gets to date jake, when really chloe is the one she wants. and chloe is the one she thinks about the entire time she's with jake. jake's just a trophy, or a stepping stone to what she really wants. because yeah, jake is fine. he's decent. madeline's not sure she gets the hype but whatever

madeline is one of the only people who can say they have dated or at least hooked up with the king and queen of the school

[goodfully]

what another insane cliffhanger... my goodness, okay finished with the second book!!!! i just need to ramble a bit.

since i just finished it, i have thoughts on nino.. tbh i was quite fond of him initially but then he got increasingly unbearable haha the way he... says to lenu that since childhood he imagined a life where he, lenu, and lila would be together, and then.. uhm wow..! where the hell does he go! hahaha well maybe ill feel differently about him in the next book.

ngl tho, esp during that part with the elena/lila/nino drama, i was so stressed.. it just kept going!!! and kept feeling like so much!!!! wow. i had just kept thinking that theyd all best sit down and be honest with their feelings for each other and then form a poly relationship and run away together or something idk hahaha

okay i think one of my most favorite things about this book is how important every character feels. obviously we have lenu and lila, but like the rest of the cast?? they were not just some random childhood friends mentioned in the first book, they all are growing up too and are experiencing lives of their own. i think this book, more than in the first book, showed a lot of parent/child relationships, mm like how much we fear to become our parents.. to be inevitably trapped in the same fate as theirs. its in my mind a lot, about how much the things that happened to my own parents affect me. ahh elenas relationship with her mother.. despite how badly she wishes to not become like her mother, i think she does see her strength and her care for her... (oh god, like when she was sick and her mom comes out of nowhere?? and i think she was torn between feeling embarrassed by her and how capable her mother really was) oh and things like both antonio and ada becoming in different ways like their mother, stefano resembling don achille, lila fearing her son will be stupid, etc and ofc also just... the weight on all of their shoulders to.. hurry up and grow up? ahh. ///tw death tw suicide/// for the peluso siblings to witness their father be literally dragged out their house in front of them for allegedly murdering another man, hearing about his death in prison, busting the door down and seeing their mother hang herself. for the cappuccio siblings to only have their mother, who needed her children to care of her and her mental state more than she could take care of them. hhhh

that reminds me, the whole book i was hoping for more enzo content hahaha we really barely know anything about him at this point but i adore him. and he is there now! altho i wonder how much more we'll hear of him in the next books.

oh yeah, lila talking crazily about educating all the children to make a change starting with their generation... just like me for real... this is pretty much the main reason i studied early education hahaha its silly now when i think about it, but i used to feel like my skull was breaking from how much i felt i needed to find a way to take care and educate of all the children in the world in order to make some sort of difference... to find a way to get every single child to experience love and care from a loving and caring family... god. anyway i mean i still do believe that taking care of and educating the young ppl of our generation can change the world somehow, but it was just rather.. sad? seeing lila go crazy about her son and her very real fear for her son, that he might become like her and her family, unable to escape violence and poverty.

all this talk about a book centered on elena and not a single word about lenu yet ahhh my bad! oh i want to talk about her years at the university, and... gosh. just knowing you just lack something that your classmates from a rich family and background have that youll never have... even tho she quite literally graduated with top scores, she never felt fully capable? never felt enough? the need to work so hard to suppress herself in order to be okay in that city?? aghfh

alright, the ending! with her realizing that her novel (that she described as something that was truly hers to pietro) was basically born out of and deeply connected to lilas blue fairy book... god!!!!! what the hell!!!!! my goodness. she quite literally describes how theyre soulmates, how theyre connected by an invisible thread, how much they mustnt lose each other anymore. and when they finally met again and she finally realizes that "in the world there is nothing to win, that her life was full of varied and foolish adventures as much as mine, and that time simply slipped away without any meaning, and it was good just to see each other so often to hear the mad sound of the brain of one echo in the mad sound of the brain of the other." sobs. i think throughout most of the book, i so desperately wanted the two of them to just... be okay and stop being in constant war with themselves for each other.. but anyway wow, even tho for this second book the two of them arent with each other most of the time, the way their relationship is so hhhhh described so well and is always relevant, its so real wow its so real.

okay done... mm i was thinking that lenu is probably the more relatable character, but i think i identify a lot more with lila? not really bc of her life or the way acts, but the way she thinks maybe? the way she feels about ppl? idk actually, but its probably affecting the way im reading the series. mm starting tmr i wont have as much time as i do now to read, but im hoping i get through the next two books before the end of next month at least!

[kafkaoftherubble]

Ædith sibling lore because you care. I know you do :]

Ædith's older sister is called Gail and her younger brother is Zoltan, so she's the middle child.

They're born into a noble house, hence Ædith's high government position. As the oldest, Gail was supposed to inherit the position from her mother, but Ædith got it instead. Volkaire vetoed Gail becoming head of the house because she has down syndrome so he thinks she's incompetent. The unfair treatment towards her sister is also what motivated Ædith to get into disability activism in the first place.

All three kids have a bad relationship with their parents because of the ableism towards Gail. Gail worked incredibly hard and got two degrees, one in history and another in political sciences so she is more than qualified for the position. She also has a husband and a son, but I haven't named either just yet. Overall, Gail is very successful and doing well in life.

Ædith is head of the house but uses it almost exclusively to fight for the rights of minorities, starting several charities and doing volunteer work that others think is below her station.

Zoltan left home and restarted his life as a commoner. He was fairly careless until Ædith's arrest, when he's forced to go home to help Gail. Really he just tells ableists to screw off so she can do her thing. He also helps break Ædith out of prison and starts getting his act together to help his sisters fight Volkaire's tyranny because he hates aristocracy and being around rich assholes, but he really really loves his sisters and would do just about anything for them

Alright, lore letter #1! Turns out, my response is kinda long! It's a Three-parter.

Ædith's characterization due to her life experience

A minor question re: Gail's sterling achievement despite her Down Syndrome in a highly ableist country with unsupportive parents

Zoltan

----

I was about to comment on how rare it is that Ædith, a middle child, displays traits that are usually seen in eldest siblings. Ædith is dutiful, expresses a sort of compulsion to shoulder a lot of responsibilities, and displays heightened sensitivity to other people's well-being or needs—skills an excellent (or way-too-self-sacrificing?) eldest sibling possesses, but not something a middle child is, well, known to develop early on.

And then it turns out it's because, since young, Ædith has to be the caretaker for Gail and the de-facto "eldest child of the house", assuming her duties and responsibilities due to Gail's struggle—genuine or societal fabrications alike—with Down Syndrome. I imagine Zoltan as a maverick and a rebel since he was a kid, so he had to be a bit of a headache source to Ædith, too.

Amazing instance of experience-informing-personality, π! I LOVE a good cause-and-effect work!

---

It's neat that Gail manages to persevere despite the limitations imposed on her societally. But I think this means you'll have to answer a detail-oriented question:

Is Gail homeschooled? Or was she sent to a private school? Or did she study in a public school, or did she complete her studies in a foreign nation?

The reason I asked is because Gail's obstructions in education are twofold, as far as I can tell: her parents' attitude toward her, and her country's national attitude toward people with disabilities. I'll address the second first!

A country that is so wantonly ableist as per the Emperor's attitude will not provide accessibility options, special needs, or even any useful concerns to their (aristocrats-only) public school.

For example, there were no real facilities or policies toward children with any kind of neurodiversity or mental/developmental disorders in my Malaysian education experience growing up. One of my classmates, when I was 7, had an unknown but severe developmental disorder due to encephalitis when he was just a wee baby (Child Lyn was nosy curious enough to poke around for information regarding "this strange kid in class.") The boy had no real structural support nor dedicated teachers/assistance. His parents sent him to school because they both had to work, and he was constantly treated like he did not exist in class by most students and some teachers (not maliciously; they were just not trained to teach him, ya know?). He did not take exams, and he hardly learned how to write his name by the end of the grade. His conditions did not improve even after we changed classes (it's a typical system to get reshuffled into a new class in each grade, usually according to your school grades), and I think he was later transferred out of my school.

I don't know if he managed to enroll in a special needs school, which definitely exists in Malaysia. But that's the follow-up question for this, too:

Do schools for children with special needs exist in an openly ableist country like Odeda?

Drawing comparisons to the easiest example of an ableist fascist country in history—Nazi Germany—there were no policies, encouragement, or support for any special needs schools. Why would the state allow such an institution, after all? They were seen as a waste of time, land, money, and resources. A useless waste, for the "defects" of the species, who will "damage" the country's Darwinian approach to "perfection."

So what this follow-up question is really here for is this: how extreme is ableism in Odeda? Brandi worries about herself due to her own mental illness, and in your previous version, her OCD was actually made a hindrance by Odedan policies in her quest for love or marrying Lewis. On a scale of "how easily can someone mask to fit in a neurotypical majority," I think OCD is more easily masked than Down Syndrome, which has a much more pronounced effect on one's education. So if Brandi herself could easily be marked as "lesser" under Odedan's ableist outlook, then Gail's Down Syndrome will provoke worse, right?

If Gail was educated either in a public school or a special needs school within Odeda, then you'll have to explain how she managed to do so when society was rigged against her. Without top-down (i.e. government) inclusivity, sensitivity, and resources, it's very hard to imagine a causal pathway where a child with Down Syndrome manages to succeed under such a climate. And that's not counting the peer pressure, bullying, microaggression, and other possible systemic discrimination Gail would have to face growing up.

Her parents' ableist/non-supportive attitude toward Gail will also make it a little harder to explain why she is allowed to be homeschooled or sent to a foreign land for education.

The second set of options is to have Gail be educated the same way Maurice was: privately. Or else, she was educated in another country that is far more inclusive or egalitarian or something.

However, it's hard to imagine ableist parents actually giving any care or damn about Gail enough to worry about her education, let alone spend money on it. Even if Ædith was the one who insisted that Gail should receive education as any other child deserves, there is only so much she as the kid could do against her own parents. who are the actual masters of the household, until Ædith was at least "old enough" to have her own way of pooling in finances.

Suggestions!

Nonetheless, it is still feasible to write Gail as succeeding despite her twofold blocks! I was trying to come up with some as I elaborated on the questions. Here are some; you can remix them for even better ideas, or they can help you come up with something far superior!

Ædith and Zoltan secretly give Gail some of her earliest education, such as basic literacy. ~ Additional benefit: this scenario provides a causal reason why Zoltan, despite his rough attitude, loves and cares for his sisters deeply—he once had to teach his oldest sister and assist his middle sister with limited support from their parents. This could also be the sentiments Zoltan draws from when he decides to break Ædith out of prison and assume Gail's primary caretaker role. ~ Meanwhile, an experience like this can further bolster Ædith's commitment to disability activism. It can also become a support conversation: Ædith explaining her initial difficulty and frustration in teaching Gail. Without training and knowledge, it's incredibly challenging to teach anyone with mental disabilities. I, uh, speak from experience. ~ To Gail, this experience is a source of strength, because she will always remember that her siblings love her regardless of what the world thinks and that there are people who do not look down on her just because she's "defective." This can translate to her own drive to succeed and seek her own happiness.

A sympathetic governess or private tutor. Such a person could originally be assigned to be Ædith and Zoltan's teacher, but they decided to secretly teach Gail as well. ~ Even if the parents found out, the governess or tutor could argue that they would not ask for extra compensation for Gail's lessons. ~ The governess/tutor could even argue that by teaching Gail, they can help her mask herself better so as to "not bring shame to your esteemed family" or "draw Volkaire's ire for siring such a child." Pragmatic arguments by the tutor for a far more compassionate goal, basically.

A sympathetic relative living outside Odeda takes in Gail out of sympathy or kindness. This way, Gail can get any sort of education over a long period in a foreign land that is less ableist than Odeda.

That's all I could come up with for now. I hope it gets your juice flowing!

---

Not much to say about Zoltan for now, since he's pretty much a rogue version of Ædith in a way. I like his addition nonetheless! Think he can provide a lil' foil to Ædith this way, ahahahah!

----

And this is why I can only answer this type of letter slowly and little by little! Look at the RAMBLE holy shit. YAP SPELL S+ I SWEAR. Please be patient with my slow ass, ahahhaha!

I have to go back to work after this amazing brain stimulation (your story is better than my work SO MANYFOLD)! Thanks for the crumbs; 'tis was delectable!

Will proceed to other letters (THE HABAD ONE I FOUND IT) in due time! That includes your intriguing new project too, ahahahahah!