#anyway I think they’d be a fun trio. three guys who never talk about themselves all working together. the dream

[rodentlegalteam]

Four is very self-aware so he knows that he’s autistic but since his era isn’t very advanced in that sort of thing, he has no idea what autism is. He thinks he’s just Like That. Time knows what autism is (Malon told him) but isn’t nearly as self-aware so he never makes the connection and goes through life thinking what he’s completely neurotypical. Legend both knows what autism is and knows that he exhibits behaviours of it, but is so deep in denial that he shuts down any ideas that he might be even the slightest bit neurodivergent. He uses every excuse he can in order to make people think otherwise and it only somewhat works. Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[sixx02]

One More

“Arc… Arc… vs Arc… and Nikos… ugh… why are there three of you?”  The combat professor scratched his head as he stared at the names on the board.  “Whatever…”  

Jaune did not like where this was going, they had only been here for a few weeks but he’d seen just how good Pyrrha was.  Okay, well he could tell right away after her first fight with Nora.  He just kind of hoped they’d be together… ‘Not together together!  Just on the same team… right that’s what I meant!’  Yep he definitely didn’t think she was super darn awesome, or really pretty, or super badass or anything like that!  He also didn’t notice her well toned arms and legs when they were training, nope!  He’d never pay attention to things like that.

Of course… he couldn’t help but pass glances to her now and again, she was really awesome.  Though… he doubted he’d have a chance, and honestly he needed to concentrate on himself… right… he didn’t want a repeat of before.  Turning towards the professor he waited for the actual teams. 

“Ugh, whatever, boys versus girls.”

Both Lie and him stopped, “Uh… sir, could we uh… could you reconsider?”  

“No!  Now get your stuff and get up there!”  

Both boys turned towards one another, “Oh no.”  

Lie and him weren’t terrible by any means, heck they were in the upper half of the class!  But, well… Nora and Pyrrha were at the very top constantly competing for first place.  And there was talk about Pyrrha actually competing in the upcoming tournaments!  The trio had opted out of it, they didn’t really want the attention and honestly speaking they didn’t want to be in front of a crowd.  

“Hurry up!”  Both boys sighed, relenting to their future domination. That was till they were both pulled into a powerful hug.

“Yes!  I can’t wait to fight!  It’s going to be a ton of fun!”  

Jaune loved Nora, she was his wonderful sister after all.  But, well… he wasn’t sure he could agree with that last bit.  Though he didn’t really have the heart to deny her answer as she continued to squeeze the two boys together.  

“Nora I think they get the point.”  Pyrrha’s gentle tone caught his ears.

“Okie dokie!”  Nora let them go at the behest of her, in her own words, besty better than the resty forever!  Honestly despite his obvious… not so obvious, crush on her, he was just happy that she got along with Nora.  Like he said he loved Nora, but she had a lot of energy, a lot of energy that caused a lot of people to think she was stupid or dumb, well they always got what was coming to them.  

“Still, this should be a grand fight!”  

“Right right!  Grand.”  

“Yes… Grand.”  Lie’s response was far less enthusiastic than his own.  Both boys however gave way, once they gathered their things adjourning at the arena.  The girls had already been prepared, Pyrrha had her own specially made weapon.  “It seems they’re taking us seriously.”

“Yep… I wish they wouldn’t!”  Jaune didn’t like where this was going!  He had seriously thought about how they’d handle the dynamic duo, but every single idea and thought was always just crushed by overwhelming prowess and might.  “Well nothing left but to do it then ya?”  

Lie simply nodded, they would have to take this one step at a time after all.  

The moment they lined up with the girls the professor started the count down.  

“Alright!  3...2...1… GO!”  

Hopefully this wouldn’t be too terrible.

“This is terrible…”  

A week earlier.

Charles couldn’t believe what they’d run into, he was starting to truly and fully believe that him and his wife were harbingers of doom… or at the very least ones that came in the aftermath of great destruction.

“Who would do this?  This wasn’t a grimm attack… they don’t just set fires to homes!”  Jeanne didn’t like this, not at all… they’d been on a mission when they’d seen the smoke rise into the air.  When they got to the small farm they’d found the home razed to the ground, if only they’d gotten here sooner!  She clenched her fist as the air around her began to warp, her aura flared wildly, the ground cracking beneath her feet.  

“WAAAAAAAAAH!”  

In an instant she cooled off, “Did you hear that?!”  

“Yes!”  Both husband and wife turned towards one another, in an instant they were off, the ground cracking beneath their feet as they made their way towards the sound. 

In an instant they found themselves in front of a Cellar, wasting no time they dug through the debris blocking their way.  

“What…”  Once they’d opened the doors they’d found a young boy who appeared to be the same age as their twins.  “Oh god…”  Jeanne winced at the terrible wounds on his chest rising up to his neck.  

“No… not again.  What do we do?”  Her husband’s words sunk in.

“We...  we have to take him… see if he has family?  Find out who he is…”  

“P...please… help him…”  Their eyes snapped towards a younger woman.  They hadn’t noticed her before, but… but she wasn’t going to make it.  The clear indications of severe wounds present on her body, scars and gnashes… the seasoned hunters almost looked away.  “Please… he has… no one else…”  

“Hold on don’t ta…”  Charles stopped as he drew closer, “...She’s dead.”  

Once more they let the silence seep in, “We… we have to take him.”

Her husband stood there for a moment, “Alright…”  

They would bury the woman, and they would take the young boy home with them.  The young man who they would later learn the name as Oscar Pines, the young man that would later be known as Oscar Pines Arc.

Jaune had been wrong, he had been terribly terribly wrong!  This was worse than terrible!  This had gone downright ugly!  

His legs buckled at Nora’s powerful swing, the arena beneath his feet cracked.  “SERIOUSLY?!”  He knew that these things were supposed to be made of sturdier stuff, and he knew that if he hadn’t been pumping aura into this metal sheet of a shield it would have caved right in.  

“AHAHAHAH!”  Her body was surging with dangerously high levels of electricity.

“Your semblance is so unfair!”  

“Says the walking living aura generator!  Now on your knees my favorite minion!”  

“NOPE NOPE NOPE!  LIE!”  In an instant Lie pulled himself away from trying to defend from Pyrrha, pumping his aura into his legs he dashed over towards his manic sister, his palm colliding with her waist sending her flying.  Unfortunately she was able to stop herself from getting ringed out by smashing her hammer into the ground beneath them.

Jaune’s hand swiped past Lie as he continued after Nora, in a single burst he’d filled his brother’s Aura up once more.  WIth a burst of strength his own Aura began to refill, only to stop a Pyrrha peppered him with dust rounds.  

“Really Pyrrha?!”  

“Sorry!  But I can’t let you do that!”  She was ever the fighter after all, so he knew she wouldn’t just let him recharge.  

“Fine!”  Putting up his shield he dashed forward, allowing the bullets to graze past it or hit less important targets, like not his head.  

Upon reaching her, he did what he did best, he attempted to ram his shield into her face.  Only for her to deftly avoid him, his shield flashed black as she attempted to nudge it away.  

Ever since her fight with Nora, she’d apparently been using her semblance a lot more, taking the time to really practice with it.  Or at least that’s what she’d told them anyways.  Which was great and everything!  But it made her really frustrating to fight, so he did what he knew he could.  Pumping more aura into the shield he was able to overpower her attempt at control.

“You really do have a lot of aura!”  He would have blushed at the comment if not for her shield attempting to ram him into the face.  

He didn’t have many options, he couldn’t really avoid it, he wasn’t exactly the fastest person, so once more he did what he thought he could.  “ACHA!”  With a might slam he hit her shield straight on with his empowered forehead causing her to pull back in surprise.

“Jaune!?”  Her worried tone was apparently warranted as that blow nearly knocked his lights out.  Aura could do a lot of things, but when he messed up, well sometimes his brain couldn’t really handle the rumbling.

“I’m okay!”  Straightening himself he attempted to swipe at her midsection, only for her to parry the blow using her blade.  

“Good!”  In that moment he felt her aura wrap around his blade disarming him as her knee hit him straight in the gut.  Thankfully his Aura protected him, but that hadn’t been her goal.  In the moment that he instinctively buckled over she’d applied her aura instantly onto his shield and pushed him straight out of the ring.  “Sorry!”  

To his surprise Lie had already been there waiting for him.  “Did she golf swing you?”

“She golf swung me…”  

“Nikos and Arc win!”  

The boys could hear the cheering from the crowd, their own egos slightly wounded as no one really had expected them to win, not even themselves!  

But, well that didn’t matter in the end, “YOU GUYS DID AMAZING!”  

Pink and Sapphire eyes glanced upwards, meeting emerald and turquoise.  

“She’s right you know.  You had gotten our aura’s rather low.”  

Both boys turned towards the monitor at the same time, they’d managed to get both Pyrrha and Nora down to about 60 percent.  That may have seemed like nothing, but well, when most people couldn’t drop them even a single percent?  It wasn’t a bad thing.  “Huh!  Hey look at that, we got you guys down another 2 percent this time.”  A part of him did want to have a little snark though.

“That we did.”

“Yeah!  You guys are improving!”  Nora pulled everyone into a tight hug, her arms wrapped affectionately around her family, Pyrrha included.

“I agree you’re both improving at a remarkable rate.”

Neither of the boys could really deny it, while it felt bad to lose, well… well at least they knew they were getting better and that wasn’t a bad thing.

“Alright… well how bout… we go get cleaned up and then we can go to Saph’s house.  We could have a sleep over?”  He turned towards Pyrrha, “If you can come of course!”

“Oh!  Yes, my parents should be fine with it.  They quite like your sister.”  Pyrrha’s warm smile caused his chest to feel oddly pained.  Right, gotta concentrate on getting better.  

Pyrrha parted ways with them wanting to get ready and prepared for the oncoming sleepover.

Once they’d gotten home after getting ready, they’d noticed extra sounds coming from the living room.  “Saph?”

“MY BABIES!”  In an instant the three Arc siblings were pulled into one powerful hug.

“MOM!”  Nora was the only one to return the powerful hug meeting one with equal strength.

“Hey kids… we got something to tell you.”  As their mom dropped them they eyed a small figure behind them.  “Meet Oscar… Oscar Pine Arc, he’s your new little brother.”

[idyllicstarker]

If you do prompts can you write a jealous tony bc he sees peter kiss mj’s cheek at a avengers party and gets all possessive bc peter is his.

Not my best work but I hope you still enjoy!! There may be a few errors because my google docs was playing with me. Since it’s anon, I’m not sure who to contact to apolgise for not giving the prompt justice, so I’ll just do it here. I’m sorry, but as always, thank you for the request <3

Warnings: Implied Stucky, mention of the term exhibitionism, mention of harrasment but no details, just use of the term

If there was one thing Tony had learnt about his boy, it was that Christmas was an important time for him. It held no real significance other than it being a holiday (he wasn’t exactly religious) but Peter was adamant that Christmas was “the best time of the year” and he just wanted to share that with the others.

The Christmas Party was proposed totally on a whim. Tony was at an age where that sort of stuff just didn’t appeal to him. But to his much younger boyfriend, parties were fun, and exciting - of course they were, Peter wouldn’t be the one waking up with a raging headache and feeling like death.

When Tony expressed his doubts on the whole thing, Peter pouted and gave him the eyes and suddenly Tony was funding a party he wasn’t even sure he wanted to go to himself. He reached a point of certainty when he realised he much preferred his domestic life with Peter as they decorated the compound with trees and fairy lights and cute little reindeer statues. But of course he’d still go, he didn’t want to disappoint Peter, and he also didn’t want to be seen as the old man avenger, especially when everyone else already said they’d already be there. So despite much rather wanting to be in bed with Peter, he got dressed and put on a smile. He didn’t have much of a choice anyway, it was in his home.

Aside from the avengers, Peter had invited both Ned and Mj, and of course May. But after an hour or so, Tony noticed she had disappeared - come to think of it, so had Happy.

Tony shook his head, choosing not to worry about it too much, as his eyes scanned over the room. They’d turned from cheesy Christmas top hits, to some more chill music, as Vance Joy played in the background. His gaze settled on Peter. He was sitting on the couch, one arm strung across the back, where Mj was sitting, and Ned to his other side. Two chairs in front of them were occupied, one by Sam and the other by Steve and Bucky who Tony remembered struggled to both sit on the chair, but pride meant neither was letting up, so Bucky just ended up on Steve’s lap. Peter had a plastic cup in his hand (he was trying to make this as authentic to high school parties as possible because in his words: “you guys are old and I want to remind you of what it’s like to be young again”) but he didn’t seem too drunk, so Tony knew it was probably just soda. Adorable!

He watched as Peter’s lips parted probably to let out his angelic laugh. It all lined up with the slight crinkle of his nose, and that lopsided expression as one flushed cheek raised slightly higher than the other. His head tipped back just slightly and after a second, it bowed forward. He presumed Sam was telling the trio a story, because all three laughed, but of course the only one he wished to witness was the masterpiece in his line of vision.

Peter seemed to perk up, and Tony’s own lips twitched into a smile, pushing himself off the bar so he could approach and join in on the conversation. But his face dropped after a second, and his movements faltered.

Peter had seemed to captivate the conversation, his hand gesturing wildly in such a way that Tony feared for the drink in his cup. It wasn’t hard to get lost in the angelic sound of the boy’s voice, he knew that all too well. He watched as his conversation partners leant closer in an attempt to hear him better. Some more laughs. And then Peter gestured towards Mj, a cheeky grin on his lips before he leant forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Tony imagined the soft lips pressing against her skin, he thought so hard about it, he very almost tasted it on his own lips.

He didn’t want to know what the conversation was about, he didn’t want to know why the kiss was given, playful or not, all he knew was that he didn’t like it. If he was more aware of himself he may have been able to stop the throaty growl he produced. Tony didn’t like to think he was a jealous man, but everybody knew he was.

In a moment he was beside the couch, looking down on Peter with what can only be described as a possessive growl. “Any room for me there baby?”, he asked, his tone low. It wasn’t necessarily aggressive, but if someone didn’t know Tony they may say it seemed angry. But Peter recognised it well. His sweet gaze flickered over the slight tenseness in Tony’s jaw, and the darkened look in his eyes, and with a soft sigh, he allowed a gentle smile to form on his lips. “There’s always room for you”, he responded.

Slowly Peter rose, wiggling his jean-clad hips lightly to the music as he waited for Tony to sit down. He was desperately clutching at some kind of sweet innocence to avoid Tony from getting too jealous. And the only way to do that was through the art of seduction. Of course, everybody here knew of their relationship, it would have been much too hard to keep it from them, but that wasn’t Peter’s problem. It was the fact that he was sure they were going to see much more than they wanted to if he didn’t calm him down.

Tony called it asserting dominance, Peter called it exhibitionism.

Tony gave Mj a snide look as he walked around to sit in the place Peter had just vacated. “I just thought I’d make an appearance, I missed this little one too much”, he hummed, gesturing to Peter who sighed softly in response.

Catching Steve's eyes Peter pouted slightly at the playful look in his own. They were both thankful for the fact that Steve, or any of the other avengers for that matter, had never found themselves at the end of Tony’s jealousy and possessiveness over Peter. But they had witnessed it when some people on trips got too close and touchy with Peter.

With the gracefulness of a doe, Peter plopped down on Tony’s lap, sitting across his knees and draping his arms around his neck. “I missed you too”, he whispered softly, nuzzling their noses together in an overly cute display of affection. Across from them, Sam began to gag, and once again, the masterpiece of a laugh was on display.

“Why don't you finish your story Peter?”, Steve asked and Peter’s head whipped around to look at him with a heated glare. Of course Steve knew what he was doing, and that’s why he was doing it. But Tony raised an eyebrow, gently patting Peter’s thigh. “Oh yes sweetheart, don’t let me stop you. I’m sure I’ll love to hear it.”

Peter bit down on his tongue. Clearing his throat he shook his head and pressed a gentle kiss to Tony’s cheek. “You know, I don’t think I quite remember what I was talking about… but hey, Bucky, why don’t you-”

He was cut off by Ned shifting in his seat, “Oh sure you do, you were telling us about that time with Mj, when you pretended to be her boyfriend so the guy at the library would stop harassing her.”

Tony felt Peter let out a shaky breath as he relaxed his body against the man’s chest. A small hand came to grip his shirt, as he nuzzled his head into his shoulder. “Oh really?”, Tony questioned, the grip on Peter’s waist he had tightening possessively, “And what exactly did pretending entail?”, he asked. Above Peter’s ear, the grinding of his teeth echoed and Peter frowned slightly.

“Nothing. I just held her hand and kissed her cheek. The guy got all worked up and started swearing and Mj shouted at him to ‘watch his profanity’”, at the last part Peter put on a high-pitched voice to mimic hers’s and the group began to laugh. Well, everyone but Tony did.

“Yeah, I actually, I don’t feel so good. Tony can you come to the bathroom with me”, he asked, blinking up at him innocently. His cheeks were flushed red and they both knew it was a lie, but still Tony huffed and nodded. Of course, not before he grabbed Peter’s face and bought him into a deep kiss - when they were done Peter’s lips were swollen and he was left breathless as he stood and grabbed Tony’s hand to lead him from the room.

“Tony~”, he whined, as he led them to the elevator with a small pout on his lips. As the door closed he got onto his tip toes and smushed their faces together with wide eyes. “Don’t be a meanie”, he begged.

“Oh I’m the meanie?”, Tony questioned. “I’m the meanie when you’re the one going around kissing people’s cheeks and flaunting it in my face that you can get someone your own age.”

With a heavy sigh, Peter bounced back off his feet, and frowned. “It was a friendly kiss, it meant nothing. You seriously can’t be jealous of me kissing my best friend?”, he asked quietly.

At Tony’s silence, Peter got all the answers he needed. “I love you Tony, and only you. Do I have to remind you of this anytime I get too close with one of my friends?”, he asked, smiling up at him. He wasn’t mad. He knew Tony was insecure, especially about the age difference. So although it may get annoying at times, he always just wanted to try his hardest to reassure Tony that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“No…”, Tony pouted, stepping dangerously close into childish territory and Peter giggled sweetly.

“If you want, we can ditch the party, and we can go upstairs, and you can get all the kisses and all the cuddles, because i’m your actual boyfriend and I love you more than anyone else. Forever and always”, he offered, tugging on Tony’s shirt gently in an attempt to try and get him out of his mood.

Tony sighed, and moved to press a kiss to Peter’s head. “If we can take a bath too, and you wash my hair, I think I might even apologize to Mj”, he muttered. Peter smiled and again the masterpiece of a laugh display surfaced before he nodded.

“Deal”, he hummed, pressing a quick kiss to his lips as the elevator opened up on the penthouse, before he dragged Tony over to the bathroom.

~~

Tag list: @itsmexavie @icandoakickflip

[sweetheartyuta]

Bandslam! Taeyong

Happy to be back - bunny x (PSA this is reposted from squares react where I was Admin luna, the blog has since went inactive so I’m transferring my works to my new account :)) 

• So you’d been friends with taeyong since you were in diapers and you’d been inseparable ever since, you always had each other’s backs and were always very protective of one another. • You were both very musically talented, taeyong with his ability to write such meaningful lyrics and play the electric guitar expertly and you had a “great voice” as taeyong would say and definitely weren’t too shabby on the drums. • You’d spend the majority of your time together practicing in your parent’s soundproof garage, making covers and posting them online, which definitely got you some recognition at school and a growing support group online, although it was a small following it was greatly appreciated by you both. • With your growing support online you quickly befriended Johnny who was a magician on the electric keyboard and jaehyun who was a wiz on the bass guitar and soon enough, the pair quickly became the new additions to your band • anyone that looked over at the four of you would have thought that you had known each other forever. • When you joined together as a band, no other high school in your area could compete with you four, you were a force to be reckoned with, often asked to perform at school ceremonies and even prom. • That night when you rocked up in a dress with drumsticks in hand he saw you in a completely different light, like he was staring for so long Johnny had to punch him on the arm and was like ‘’dude are you okay you’re staring” • “wha- oh yeah I’m okay” realising he’d been staring for too long a pink hue made its way to his cheeks • He was at a loss, you looked simply radiant, he had always seen you as his best friend but the hammering in his ribcage was telling him a different story, after playing a few songs for your fellow classmates he made his way over to the food, trying to figure out what it was he felt when he looked at you. • A gentle tap on the shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts as he turned to  meet your eyes gazing at him worriedly • “ dude are you okay you’ve been really quiet all night, this isn’t like you” • And because he’s not sure what was going on with him either he just smiled and reassured you, it wasn’t a fake smile though because he was always happiest when he was around you, he didn’t have to fake a smile. • He felt a tug on his arm and was then dragged to the dance floor “come on doofus let’s dance” he laughed at your comment and felt a warmth in his chest, after all these years you hadn’t changed at all, you never were one to follow the crowd, you were always your own person, dressing how you wanted, stood up for what you believed In and never changed who you were just for the sake of popularity. • And that is what he lov- liked!! That was what he liked about you • A slow song played next and you both groaned, you had talked about that cliché moment at dances when the couple get up to dance and a slow song starts to play but you laughed together as you started to sway to the beat. • Your hands held his shoulders lightly, as your head rested on his chest, almost like a hug, while his hands slowly made their way to your waist, causing an acceleration in his heartbeat though you were too busy to notice as you hummed along to the song. • He closed his eyes, never wanting to forget this moment, the moment he realised he liked you, more than a friend, he took in your sweet voice, quietly singing along to the song when all of a sudden you snorted as you looked across the hall to find Johnny and Jaehyun dancing the same way you two were to make fun of the both of you, he couldn’t help but laugh too at the sight in front of them. • Jaehyun was leaning his head on Johnny’s shoulder as they were almost the same height, twirling around the hall as they listened to you laughing. • They were so happy for taeyong, they knew before he did that he would have feelings for you, the way his ears seemed to perk up when you talked in a conversation, you balanced him out, he had a cold exterior, his prominent features scared many into thinking he was a very cold person but after befriending him the boys knew differently. • Whereas you were bubbly  and had friendly features and they took a liking to you instantly, they first realised that taeyong liked you when they joined your group, the way he was overly protective as he was used to things just being you and him, it took him longer to accept the boys than you. • But now taeyong couldn’t imagine life without the three of you and couldn’t be more grateful for three friends he knew would be there for him for life and the trio felt the same way. • After prom taeyong would be so confused, noting things about you that he had never realised before, the way you lit up band practice when you walked into the garage, the way you threw your head back and you closed your eyes when you found something really funny and he couldn’t tell whether he actually had feelings for you or if it was just a crush. • So one day at lunch you’d be sitting at a table with Jaehyun and Taeyong and Johnny walks over with a poster in his hand and slam it on the table “guys you know we have to enter this right ?!” • You’d share a hesitant look with taeyong, although you didn’t deny the talent your band had, you had never participated in any competition therefore you wouldn’t know the kind of talent the other groups had • The competition meant business though, the winning group would receive a record deal and cash prize, the two things any aspiring musicians wished for • After some persuasion from Johnny you gave in, looking around the table you smiled, you wouldn’t want to take part in the competition with anyone else and it would be stupid to pass up an opportunity like this, jaehyun and Johnny high fived and cheered, sending all of the attention in the lunch room your way • The four of you knew that there was no chance you’d even qualify without a lot of practice. After countless nights spent in the garage you auditioned and qualified, making it to the final, although you had done well throughout the competition and received good feedback from the judges. You knew that winning the competition without doing something to make yourselves stand out wasn’t happening

• So you decided to come up with your own song, yes it was a risky move but with the lyrical geniuses that are jaehyun and taeyong and your knowledge of composing music mixed with Johnny’s editing skills you were pretty confident that you could create something great that would catch the eye of the judges and may give you the edge. • You all decided to stay at Taeyong’s house, giving you the opportunity to shoot ideas back and forth (while devouring a mountain of Doritos) and ask the guys for their opinion. Your eyelids slowly started to droop after five hours of nonstop composing and changing things around, you rested your head comfortably on Taeyong’s shoulder, slowly falling asleep. • It was a normal thing you would do but it felt different this time to Taeyong, his heart leapt at the sight of you laying on his shoulder, with your laptop balancing on your legs and shallow breaths leaving your mouth • He couldn’t leave even if he wanted to (he definitely didn’t) so he placed your laptop carefully onto the table and placed an arm around your waist, the guys had fallen asleep an hour before, tiring themselves out by eating so much pizza • He placed his lyric book on the ground and wrapped a blanket around you both and slowly fell asleep himself. • You were the first to wake up and you were surprised to say the least when you felt someone’s arm around you, you looked up at Taeyong to see him sleeping peacefully, a small blush forming on your face • Your feelings towards Taeyong had started to bloom recently, you just couldn’t imagine your life without him, always planning your futures together, he was your partner in crime and you were always curious if you would work out as a couple. • The next few band practices you had were all night-ers, trying to perfect the song, changing the tuning slightly as you did. Both Jaehyun and Johnny had begun to pick up on your feelings for Taeyong and began to put a plan into action, they’d leave you two alone at lunch time and say they had detention for doing something stupid and go sit in the library to give you two time to talk. They’d set the wrong time for band practice so they’d get there half an hour later than you did. • Basically doing anything to let you guys figure out your feelings for one another. • So anyways the day of the bandslam final comes and you were well prepared and you knew that even if you didn’t win you still tried your hardest and you still had your three best friends and nothing could change that. • Don’t get me wrong though, you were up against some pretty stiff competition, the level of talent was insane but you didn’t have much time to think about it since you were one of the first bands to play. • ¬¬the look of confusion which very quickly turned to excitement that came from the judges and the crowd was priceless as they realised you were playing your own song, though Taeyong looked more nervous than usual. • You let it slide because you thought it was just because of the competition but little did you know he was planning on asking you to be his girlfriend if you won • The performance was definitely one of the best you’ve had, you couldn’t help but feel emotional at knowing all of the hard work you put in had paid off and the reaction from the crowd was something that you never wanted to forget. • The competition was left down to three different groups, all of which had did very well with their performances, standing on the stage waiting for your results you felt like your heart was about to drop to your stomach. Taeyong took hold of your hand and interlocked it with his own, giving it a squeeze, you looked up to Taeyong who gave you a reassuring smile. • You were too busy in your own thoughts to realise your name had been called out as the winning group, everyone was screaming and you were pulled into a group hug by Johnny “wE DID IT GUYS, WE ACTUALLY DID IT” • Taeyong pulled away from you and grabbed a mic and got the attention of the crowd who were cheering you “so I promised myself I’d do something if we won this competition” he turned to face you taking your hand in his own “ will you go out with me?” • And god, you would be in tears now if you weren’t already crying, you’d nod your head and pull him in for a hug, shyly kissing his cheek. • To be honest the two noobs were probably freaking out more over the fact you said yes to being Taeyong’s girlfriend than winning the competition, they’d pick you both up and spin you round “IT’S ABOUT TIME WE THOUGHT IT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN” • Honestly this was a day that would go down in history for all four of you, though you’d be the biggest winner of all because you got a record deal and walked away with Taeyong not just as your best friend, as your boyfriend.

[randomvarious]

SWV - “Right Here” 18 Top Hits 1/94 Song released in 1993. Compilation released in 1994. R&B

The first wave of R&B girl groups in the 90s was dominated by three separate entities: first, there was En Vogue, who were responsible for starting the whole craze, and then came TLC, who were then followed by SWV. And since this is a post that’s gonna be littered with a bunch of fun, little trivia nuggets, here’s your first one: SWV, which is an acronym for Sisters With Voices, originally wanted to call themselves TLC, based on the first initials of their three members, Tamara, Leanne, and Cheryl. But they received a cease & desist letter from Epic Records, who had the TLC name locked up for the soon-to-be sensational Atlanta trio that was on their own roster. And so, Tamara, Leanne, and Cheryl begrudgingly settled on calling themselves SWV instead.

They began in 1988 in New York with two members, Leanne and Cheryl, who both sang at church, and were in search for a third girl to finish out the group. After going through auditions, they chose Tamara, who, according to a Rolling Stone article, was really shy and originally would only sing with the lights off. The three girls also donned stage names. Leanne would be Lelee, Cheryl would be Coko, and Tamara would be Taj. As a quirk, they sent out demo tapes with bottles of Perrier because they couldn’t afford to send champagne. They would end up catching the ear of legendary producer, as well as the father of the new jack swing fad, Teddy Riley (more on him later), and he would end up getting SWV inked to a ridiculously terrible eight-album contract, which the group never completely fulfilled. But at least they got themselves signed to a major, right?

In 1992, SWV released their debut album, It’s About Time, with most of the production coming from a guy named Brian Alexander Morgan. Morgan has gone on to produce, remix, write, and arrange for a bunch of music superstars, including Usher, Drake, Wu-Tang Clan, Mariah Carey, and Ariana Grande. But his first big opportunity came from...right here...with SWV’s debut album.

In fact, it was “Right Here” that would kick things off for SWV, becoming the group’s first single, before their debut album ended up hitting the shelves. But here’s where it might get a little confusing. That first single isn’t the version of “Right Here” that everyone would end up remembering SWV for. Actually, almost no one remembers the original version of “Right Here,” which is an excellent song on its own. Morgan laced his new jack swing beat with organ, electric guitar, and ringing bells that remind us of Run-D.M.C.’s “Peter Piper” and Snap!’s “The Power,” which both trace back to Bob James’ “Take Me to the Mardi Gras”. And Taj raps, too!

The original version of “Right Here” would peak at #92 on the Billboard Hot 100 and #16 on the R&B/Hip Hop chart. The next pair of SWV singles, “I’m So Into You” and “Weak” would fare much better, both reaching the top ten on Billboard’s Hot 100, with “Weak” going all the way to #1. These singles would then set the stage for the release of a new version of “Right Here,” the one everyone knows and loves, which is credited as a Teddy Riley remix, and was fresh for the summer of 1993. It’s commonly dubbed as the “Human Nature Mix” because of its liberal sampling of the Michael Jackson song off Thriller. That particular mix would also feature on the Free Willy soundtrack, which would also contain and lead with Michael Jackson’s “Will You Be There”. 

(Another famous sampling of “Human Nature” would happen in 1994, too, with Nas’ “It Ain’t Hard to Tell,” which was produced by Large Professor. Now, you could be thinking that the “Human Nature Mix” might’ve provided some inspiration for Large Pro to conjure up that particular beat, but as it turns out, “It Ain’t Hard to Tell” was actually recorded in ‘92.)

So here’s the coolest piece of trivia you’ll run into today. Know who’s delivering that catchy “ess, double, you, vee” line throughout the “Human Nature Mix”? Pharrell. And it’s his first vocal credit, ever! One day, he was performing in a high school talent show with his R&B group, The Neptunes (not his production project with Chad Hugo), and guess who was in the audience? Teddy Riley! Riley’s studio just so happened to sit next to Pharrell’s high school. How’s that for luck? Pharrell would end up writing Riley’s verse on Wreckx-N-Effect’s old school hip hop summer classic, “Rump Shaker,” and the following year he was on the “Human Nature Mix”. There’s also a captivating, “give-it-some-time-to-work-itself-out” kind of “UK Remix” of “Right Here” on which Pharrell raps, and in 1996, The Neptunes (now just Pharrell and Hugo) would receive their first production credits for two songs (and an interlude) on SWV’s second album, New Beginning.

And now for something probably even less people know about. Although the “Human Nature Mix” is credited to Teddy Riley, it’s not his work. It’s Brian Alexander Morgan’s, the guy who also produced the original version. Riley’s name was merely attached for marketing purposes only. The label probably thought that if they sold the single as a remix that was made by a production superstar who was using a Michael Jackson song(!), it would move more units than if they said it was by Morgan, which is a name that barely anyone knew. And it seems like the label was correct in its calculus. Even though it didn’t end up hitting #1 (it hit #2), the “Human Nature Mix” remains SWV’s most remembered song, and you can credit it for leading to a re-release of SWV’s debut album, which at that point would add the remix, and would help generate over two million copies sold.

And come to think of it, how many songs can you name in which the remix ended up becoming far more popular than the original version? Before the advent of EDM, anyway. And “Ignition (Remix)” doesn’t count, by the way. That totally misunderstands what a remix is. There’s like a handful of tracks that come to mind: a pair of Amber remixes by Hani and Thunderpuss (”One More Night” and “Sexual (Li Da Di),” respectively), another Thunderpuss remix of “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” by Whitney Houston, a Latin house remix of Madonna’s “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” by Pablo Flores and Javier Garza, and of course, Todd Terry’s remix of “Missing” by Everything But the Girl. But the “Human Nature Mix” of “Right Here” might be at the top of the list. Lots of people aren’t even aware of the original’s existence. When you say the words “’Right Here’ by SWV,” everyone just assumes you’re talking about the “Human Nature Mix”. When the song is included on compilations, a lot of times the words “Human Nature” aren’t anywhere to be found, like on this random German comp I have that gathered 18 of the top songs from January of 1994. That’s how much more popular the “Human Nature Mix” is than the original. Let me know if you can think of any other remixes that hold a similar status.

One more thing before I get to the music video. This mix is so different from the original. The original version has a much harder edge and clearly took way more thought and effort to put together than the “Human Nature Mix” since the “Human Nature Mix” primarily just coasts off of the Michael Jackson sample. It doesn’t mean the original’s better though. It’s definitely great, but it’s trapped in the new jack swing era, and for that reason, it doesn’t have the staying power of the “Human Nature Mix”. Sometimes a producer finds something that’s easy enough to cobble together and it just manages to hit really good. That’s definitely the case here. The “Human Nature Mix” is just so fluffy; it was perfect summer radio then and it’s perfect summer radio now. It’s like an R&B counterpart to DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince’s “Summertime,” which came out a couple years beforehand. In fact, if I were doing a nostalgic 90s summer mix, I would probably line those tracks up back-to-back (”Rump Shaker” would be somewhere in there, too). There’s just a super relaxing, enjoyable airiness that both songs seem to possess. Oh, and speaking of DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, you know who provides the background vocals on Will Smith’s “Men in Black” song? Coko from SWV. Wild, right?

So, anyway, the video. It sucks. It just does. It’s not memorable at all, besides the awkward, intermittent slip-ins of footage of Michael Jackson performing “Human Nature” from his Dangerous tour and some clips of Free Willy swimming and breeching. It’s really a missed opportunity for the group. Apparently, there’s another video without Michael and Free Willy, too, but I can’t find it. It sounds like it’s boring though. Oh well.

The first single off of SWV’s next album (”You’re the One”) would do very well for itself, too, and that album would manage to go platinum. But they’d get lost in the fold soon after, while En Vogue and TLC would end up building much more on their prior success. And TLC would come out on top for the late 90s with songs like “No Scrubs” and “Unpretty”.

SWV made good songs, but they weren’t marketed well, at all. Case in point, your last bit of trivia: Taj was a contestant on Survivor in 2009. No, not Celebrity Survivor. Just regular-ass Survivor. No one knew she was Taj from SWV and she didn’t tell anyone on the show either. This lady helped sell millions of records for fuck’s sake. I guarantee you every contestant on that show knew an SWV song and they had no idea who this woman even was. Isn’t that kind of insane? I mean, SWV were by no means one-hit wonders, and they weren’t super popular for that long, but they were definitely an early 90s R&B staple. Anyway, for what it’s worth, Taj ended up finishing in fourth on Survivor. She’s also married to soon-to-be Hall of Fame running back Eddie George. 

So, there it is. One of the greatest and most popular tunes of the 90s. A song everyone likes that has a lot of fun, interesting facts that surround it. Shame that these girls couldn’t sustain their success for the remainder of the decade, but at least they and Brian Alexander Morgan gave us this indomitable classic.

[tommynikkivincemick]

three way call — part 8

Summary: Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx find themselves in the frustrating predicament of being infatuated with the same woman. This calls for a competition.

Author’s note: This chapter was exhausting to say the least, and is also told mostly in flashbacks because linear storytelling got fuckin boring y’all. But be warned: this chapter is a spicy one. I hope y’all enjoy xx

Warnings: SMUT, alcohol consumption, drug use, language.

At noon the next day, Y/N was the first to wake up. She was covered by the familiar soft sheets of Nikki’s bed, surrounded by the smoky haze of his favorite incense, and the bassist’s chest was serving as her pillow, but there were a drummer’s arms around her waist and a lanky body pressed against her back. There wasn’t a stitch of clothing to be found on any of them. She noticed red lip prints on both Twins and a few love bite bruises and was sure she was covered in similar marks. Pairing that with the soreness between her legs, she had a good idea about what happened last night but couldn’t put it together. She kissed Nikki’s lips softly to wake him up, then turned over to do the same to Tommy. The two woke up, squinting against the soft light filtering through the blinds and getting their bearings for a minute before turning their attention to the girl between them and going to work kissing her face, neck, and shoulders.

“As much as I love this, do either of you remember last night?” She murmured.

“Not really, but I think we all know what happened,” Tommy grinned suggestively.

“It’s all hazy, baby, I don’t think I could fill you in on much,” Nikki shrugged.

“Well let’s go find someone who can, yeah? Where the fuck are my panties...” She mumbled, breaking from her place between the musicians to search for articles of clothing.

Eventually, she found the aforementioned undergarment and Nikki threw her a t-shirt to put on. Tommy and Nikki followed her out of the bedroom in their underwear to be greeted by Vince and Mick on the couch, the blonde immediately applauding them.

“Well, well, well, didn’t you three have a fun night,” Mick smirked.

“Uh— we think so, problem is we can’t remember any of it,” Tommy chuckled, making his way to the kitchen.

“Oh, allow me to fill you in...” Vince began.

Parties at the Mötley house were strictly BYOB, mostly because the boys didn’t have money to buy a ton of beer and bottles, so Nikki, Tommy, and Y/N showed up with their own large liquor bottles and 7-Eleven cups in tow. Y/N quickly started sipping on her 64 ounce Jack and coke that was more Jack than coke, knocked back any shot that was offered to her, taking hits of joints, and bumps of coke. The Twins did much of the same, except they drank their liquor straight and were snorting lines as long as the coffee table. Eventually some guy offered the three some cute little rainbow colored pills, promising them a wild trip. Already feeling pretty good from the drugs and alcohol, they gladly took the pills.

“What was that?” Tommy asked over the loud music.

“Ecstasy!” Said the guy, “Give it fifteen minutes.”

Y/N turned to the Twins and laughed. “I’ve never done ecstasy before, is it fun?”

Nikki smirked and nodded. “You’ll know it when you feel it, baby— and when you feel a little sick, don’t fight it and tell one of us so we can get you to a bathroom.”

“I’m gonna be sick?”

“You’ll definitely wanna throw up. You might, you might not. Better safe than sorry, y’know?” Tommy shrugged.

She couldn’t help but think to herself, when did the Twins ever say better safe than sorry? But Tommy told the truth; about twenty minutes later, she definitely wanted to throw up. She tugged on Nikki’s sleeve with pleading eyes and he guided her to the bathroom, where he had to kick out some couple that was about to fuck on the counter.

“You sure you’re gonna throw up?” Nikki asked after they’d been sitting in the bathroom for a few minutes.

“I dunno. I’m drunk and I think the X kicked in. You look really pretty right now,” She smiled, grabbing his hand to get off of the bathroom floor, “I’ll tell you what, though, that nausea was a bitch.”

“How are you feeling now?” The bassist asked with a knowing smile.

“Really good. Really, really good. God, have I told you how hot you are tonight?” She giggled, hanging on Nikki as they went to find Tommy.

Eventually they found him sitting with Mick and some other guys they’d often see at the Whisky, talking and laughing about something or another. The younger Twin’s face lit up when he saw Nikki and Y/N and abandoned his conversation to join them instead.

“Hey, babes, how are we feeling?” He asked, kissing both of their cheeks.

“Oh my god, Tommy! You’re fucking hot too! Is that what this drug does? Make everyone hot?” Y/N marveled, running a hand up his chest.

“Nah, sweetheart, it just makes you feel real good, in more ways than one,” Tommy replied, “But since everyone’s feeling light and loose, are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?” The drummer raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“... And that’s all I know. From there, you three spent the rest of the night alone,” Vince said the last bit in a sing-song voice.

Nikki nodded. “Okay, yeah, I can probably fill us in on the rest. So we went to bed and I started—“

“NIKKI!” Y/N cut him off, “I’d rather not have our sex lives be... public.”

“We’re not public. Let’s hear it,” Mick urged.

“Nah, old man, we’re good. Come on, babes, let’s tell this story in bed,” Tommy laughed, handing his lovers mugs of coffee prepared to their individual specifications.

The three returned to their smoky boudoir, draping themselves over the bed to sip their coffee. Nikki grabbed himself and Tommy a cigarette from the bedside table and both took a long pull before the bassist began again.

“Anyway, as I was saying...”

The three stumbled into Nikki’s bedroom, feeling fantastic. The older Twin swept Y/N onto the bed, kissing her deeply as the younger Twin kneeled beside the bed and spread her legs, pressing soft kisses to the inside of her thighs. She was in a state of— for lack of a better word— ecstasy. Everything was beautiful; the world she was in, the sensations she was feeling, and the men she was in bed with. She felt like she could be kissed all over by Nikki and Tommy for the rest of her life and that would be just fine. Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t noticed that Tommy has worked her dress up around her waist and had moved his lips to her pelvis and Nikki had moved a hand to her chest, feeling her up like it was his job.

“Nikki, take my dress off?” She asked, sitting up and presenting the silver zipper that ran down her spine.

He slowly unzipped the dress, placing a kiss on each inch of flesh exposed by the zipper. He took the liberty of undoing her bra as well and lifting both pieces of clothing off of her. Tommy, on the other hand, had gotten her panties off and seemed to be waiting for the green light. The Twins’ eyes met for a brief moment and they wore matching devilish smirks. Oh, fuck, Y/N thought— that look was never a good thing. Before her body could react, the twin devils descended upon her; Nikki upon her breasts and Tommy upon her core. The drummer pulled away only after his lover had reached her climax.

“God, how do you taste even better tonight?” He groaned.

“Don’t be greedy, I want a taste,” Nikki whined.

“Then come get it,” The younger Twin smirked, pulling the bassist in for a long kiss of the French variety.

“Holy shit,” Y/N sighed in wonder.

Watching the Twins work was truly poetry in motion; they moved together fluidly like currents in the ocean. Rehearsed and refined, like a craft they’d mastered. Nikki placed a few pecks along the drummer’s shoulder before turning his dark gaze back to Y/N.

“Now, what to do with you?” The bassist smirked, “Who should take this gorgeous cunt and who should take your pretty mouth?”

She hummed contemplatively, glancing between the two. “Well, Sixx, I don’t believe you’ve fucked me. Would you like to?”

“Am I supposed to say no?” He chuckled, “Well then, T-Bone, that means you get her mouth. Suck him good, ‘kay, beautiful?”

She bit her lip and nodded, pulling him in for a soft kiss and giving Tommy the same treatment. The Twins undressed as quickly as they could— you can only peel off skin tight leather pants so fast— and returned to their lady love on the bed. The drummer so lovingly positioned her properly and gave his partner in crime the nod to proceed.

“You ready, angel?” Nikki asked, placing a hand on her thigh.

“Born ready, babe,” She conformed.

Tommy watched his lovers as Nikki entered Y/N, taking in her moans and smirking at the blissed-out look on the older Twin’s face, confirming what he knew to be true— she felt good enough to take a beating for any day. He allowed the bassist to get a good rhythm before he decided it was time to get his. Y/N looked up at Tommy with an angelic look in her eyes, despite the heavy air of sin in the room.

She knew, in that moment, that certain things bonded a trio together for the foreseeable future, and that making love while high off their asses on X, coke, weed, and god knows what else was one of those things.

Y/N‘s cheeks were aflame as Nikki finished the tale, her cup on the nightstand, the coffee in it long finished. Tommy wore a grin and Nikki had stars in his eyes as the story came to a close.

“So...” The younger Twin began, “Wanna do it again?”

Taglist: @jayprettymuchomw @kayladurin @crazysaladchopshop @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @loveofmyloif @saints-of-the-universe @tommyfuckinlee @oh-well1 @cranberribread @princesadeltoro @prostidudes-for-justice @miriampraez @tarahell @n-osebleed @valentines-in-london @bohemian-war @cuntlord0606 @holding-on-to-my-youth @abbysdogcollar @deacontaylormercurymay

[all-of-the-imagines-for-eve]

Part One: Slow Down ~Seth Clearwater

A/n: This is what I'm calling the Dance series I guess? There's going to be two parts basically, and it's going to be the same idea as I Think I Got You Beat- it has a song you can listen to while reading, but I'm not going to go word for word like my other prompts. Needed some variety so here's some Seth!

Additionally: I don’t hate imprinting, this is just my quick take on a fun possibility :)

Warnings: ...None? It’s really just fluffy with a side of angst lol. Enjoy!

MASTERLIST

I just wanna feel your body right next to mine, all night long- baby slow down the song. And when it's coming closer to the end, hit rewind. All night long, baby slow down the song.

"You've GOT to be kidding me."

Seth shook his head as he spotted the girl he didn't really recognize past what he'd heard about her. She was new to La Push- something about her parents being unfit, so she was sent to live with her aunt and uncle, who were on the Rez. Ever since the girl arrived there had been rumor after rumor about her, and she took each in stride, with a smirk and a coy refusal to confirm or deny anything for sure. It was the way she basked in stirring trouble and causing tension that set Seth on edge around her more than any rumor that was most likely made up anyway. Seeing her at school was weird enough with how she was so beautiful but so off limits in every way, but now? Seeing her party crashing the weekend fireside they were all having to hang out? It was mostly the Pack members, Jake and Sam's packs both showing up to reconnect and check in. This was a place they could hang out as themselves, without having to pretend to be human or speak in code or beat around the bush. Now, in their area of the sanctuary, the human no one wanted around had shown up.

Sam shot Seth a look, warning him to calm down. Seth glared at him until he felt Jake's hand on his shoulders. Ever since Seth had gotten older and had started pushing limits, only Jake could ever really calm him down. He stayed by Seth now as Sam moved to the newcomer. "Hello," he greeted very unwelcomingly.

The girl's smile widened, but it somehow seemed cocky, and that was irritating. "Hi! Saw the bonfire, thought I'd drop by and say hi." Sam's expression darkened, and her smile faded a bit. "Unless I'm not welcomed."

There was something in her eyes. Not offense or anger, but acceptance. It was almost like she had expected to be kicked out, just not this soon. Hurt and disappointment flashed across her face. Sam paused, his face softening. The second she noticed the change in him her walls were back up, and she smiled that cocky grin again. "Well then have fun!" She turned her back, walking back the way she came.

"Wait!" Sam called after her. She paused but didn't turn around for a second. When she did, the way she looked at him was almost flirty. He wondered if her moment of perceived weakness was an act or not. "We have room for one more," he told her.

She laughed, her head tilting back and her eyes sparkling. "No thank you, Mr. Uley. You can't party crash if you're invited. I'll see... most of you guys at school." she giggled and then turned around and strutted off.

As she disappeared, Leah joined Jake and Seth on their way to talk to Sam. The trio reached him just as he turned around. "Thank God," Seth breathed. He didn't want to deal with drama tonight, especially from people he didn't trust.

Leah and Jake saw the look in Sam's eyes though. Maybe there was more to her than what they had reduced her to...

-

After that night the girl that had shown up at the bonfire showed no further signs of character other than aloof and silly. She was never serious, choosing to lounge in her chair with her feet on the desktop in front of her, cracking jokes that only the people around her could hear. It got harder not to laugh and indulge her as she continued through every day and every week, never faltering or losing her forever good mood and a bright smile. She didn't pause when she made jokes, and she never failed to have a comeback. She was actually quite likable, even when she bit her tongue in a situation and you could read it all over her face that she had a witty remark or an insult that would be hard for everyone not to laugh at- except the victim of the comment, who would be mortified. Even in those situations, when you knew she was secretly insulting you or someone you cared about, she still had a vibe about her that drew you in.

She was private though. Rarely talked to anybody - other than her comments. Rarely even made eye contact or had an actual conversation with anyone past what other people initiated and carried. No one could get any real information about her or even any of her preferences- even her favorite color. The interest in her never faded because of that element of mystery and curiosity.

Except for Seth, who found her cocky and annoying. He didn't know what about her put him so off, but every time she got anywhere near him he felt really weird, so he just avoided her. When a distraction presented itself, he was relieved. A new wolf had shown up in town out of nowhere only three days ago, and with all of his friends talking about that instead of the New Girl was an appreciated change in conversation.

They had only seen him once so far. They had been out, mostly on a joy run when they'd come across an unfamiliar wolf. That same unnatural size and the same too-human eyes, but he refused to turn human so they could talk, and they couldn't speak through thoughts because they weren't part of the same pack. They tried to scare him off, but he was smaller than them and agile, just enough to get between and away from even Sam. It was moments like this that they really missed Leah and Seth. Embry had been the one to take it to Jake who had then told Seth and Leah, and now both packs were trying to figure out who this new wolf was and why he was there.

Just in time, the Cullens paid a visit. Bella liked to occasionally visit those she could so they would stay one or two days and see only those they could, like the pack or her dad. Charlie had stopped asking questions despite his curiosity, happy to simply be able to see his daughter. When they arrived, Jake and Sam warned them about the unknown wolf that was hanging around, and they all agreed to keep an eye out. They were staying for a week this time, which the pack appreciated. After all, the more hands, the better.

Or so they thought.

It was obvious she thought the house would be empty. Most of the Cullens were out hunting, so it was a fair assumption. What she didn't know was that Edward had stayed behind, having fed the previous night so that everyone could go tonight. They didn't want to leave Renesme alone with some rogue wolf on the loose who didn't know or understand the Cullens and would most likely come after them.

The second she stepped onto the lawn Edward appeared. "Why are you here?" he growled.

She was surprised and tried to use that to make herself look innocent. "Whoa, sir, I'm just lost. Can you please direct me to-?"

Edward's face twisted more menacingly. "I know what you are!" he snarled.

Just as the girl was about to get aggressive, Embry came stumbling out of the woods, looking as if he had just scrambled to get dressed and in the clearing before something happened. "She's harmless!" he assured, holding his hands out. "Human. She's the new girl on the Rez. Y/n, right?"

She nodded, smiling brightly. Edward's posture did not change. "She is not human," he growled.

Embry looked between Edward and Y/n before sliding between them, his chest to Edward- blocking the girl from the vamp. "What happened to innocent until proven guilty?"

"What happened to trust?" Edward shot back. "Did you forget I can read minds? She's not human! She's-" Having senses Edward's emotions, Jasper had warned the others just in time to bring all of the Cullens zooming into the scene, just as wound up and ready to attack. Sam was moving to him as well, not sure why the girl was a threat but knowing that she was one. The wolves had come here to back up the Cullens and if a mind reader who hated to hurt people unless absolutely necessary said there was a danger, a danger there was.

Jacob was last out of hiding from where the wolves had surrounded the house, ready to pounce at any needed moment. He looked at the girl in his wolf form, Seth and Leah right behind him. While Seth mentally grumbled on about how he just KNEW there was something off about her, his and the non-human girl's eyes met, and the entire world stopped.

Her eyes widened, and she stumbled just as Leah stepped over to keep Seth on his feet. Faced with suddenly a lot more threats she could handle it too short a time to make a plan and Seth on top of that, she turned. Right then and there she turned into the rogue wolf everyone had been searching for. One of the younger wolves growled, but Sam hushed him. There was more going on then they were seeing.

Leah, Seth, Jake - who were mentally linked - and Edward were the only ones who really knew what was going on. Seth had just imprinted on Y/n. Though, of that group, Edward was the only one that knew she had imprinted in return. The girl found her footing and panicked, forgetting her reason for coming and turning, taking off. Everyone was either too shocked or too unsure to go after her.

After she was gone, Sam looked at Edward. Answering his mental question, Edward responded aloud, "She was here because vampires were too close for comfort and she wanted to spy and see what we were up to. She wasn't here to attack." He seemed taken aback, having never experienced an imprint in time like that before. Even if it was second hand, having it from two people was enough to make him understand what it was like and he wondered how they kept standing after such emotions hit them. "I only realized after she-" Should he say? "She turned. She was surprised, and her guard went down, and I realized what her plan at been. A recon mission."

Sam looked at Jake.

He imprinted?

Jake nodded. Sam closed his eyes. Great.

-

The next day after school, Edward had Bella pull Seth aside and tell him that Y/n had imprinted back. "He didn't want to say in front of everyone. Figured that was kind of a private thing bet. It felt wrong not telling you either, though, so now I'm here..."

Seth nodded, a sort of bounce in his step. "Thanks, Bella."

It had been a week since then though, and it was quickly becoming apparent that Y/n wanted NOTHING to do with Seth or anyone associated. She had tried to make friends with them before, but there was a noticeable shift in her character now. She practically disappeared, and they realized why after Leah saw her notice Seth and then immediately turn the other way and full out run in the opposite direction. Seth was suffering, his need to be closer to her - at least SEE her - and the call to help her and be part of her life eating away at him as she avoided him. He didn't know how she could handle it, denying and ignoring the wants and needs she would be feeling just as strongly for him.

Finally, he snapped.

He showed up at her house half an hour before sunset, flowers in his hands as he knocked. It had taken some spy work to figure out where she was, recognizing and then following her scent until it brought him here. It felt creepy, but he didn't know what else to do. Now he had a little date planned out. Something simple. Flowers, sunset, talking. No expectations, just a little sit down to understand her and make a relationship with her so it would stop hurting him. When the door opened, he grinned upon seeing her. "Y/n-" The door closed and he took a step back in surprise. What was going on with her? "Y/n, please!" Then something occurred to him. Maybe she thought he still hated her! "I- I imprinted too!"

The door flew open, and she took his hand, suddenly running as if her life depended on it. He dropped the flowers along the way, so shocked by her attack. They were running, tearing out of there so fast she didn't even close her front door before they were gone entirely, in the woods with the house quickly getting more and more out of sight.

Just as suddenly as she'd started, she stopped, tugging him to a halt and spinning him to face her. He was mostly expecting her face to be ecstatic, but she looked anything but. Scared, angry, maybe. No sign of any kind of happiness. "What the HELL were you thinking?" He stepped back, shocked by her reactions and forever unsure how her brained worked.

"I- just thought you were avoiding me because you didn't know I imprinted too? Edward saw it when you- when we- he's a mind reader."

She glared. "Of course you guys have a mind reader." She scoffed, rolling her eyes and placing a hand on her hip. "Let me make something very clear Seth, I know you imprinted on me too and I figured you would think I also imprinted on you. Our reactions were the same."

Seth's face scrunched in irritation. "Then why avoid me? I know it's killing you as much as it's killing me. Why put us through that?"

Y/n looked at him like he was the single most stupid thing on the face of any planet, anywhere. He widened his eyes as if to say 'what?!' Her expression softened. "Seth, why are you here?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "I was going to ask you to watch the sunset with me? Talk? Something other than watching you avoid me like I have some disease you'll die a painful death of if you catch?" He threw his arms up briefly, his hands coming back down to slap against his legs.

She sighed. "Why were you going to ask me on a date?" He went to answer, but the look in her eyes made him pause. "Because I'm your imprint?" He shrugged. "You couldn't stand me before. Do you think I missed the glares you shot my way, and the comments mumbled under your breath? God Seth, you're not subtle!"

Seth looked away, feeling suddenly... off. Like the whole world had changed. Imprinting was good. Exciting and happy. This wasn't what he thought it'd be. "So... what? You're going to avoid me and blow me off?"

"The only reason you're mad about it is because you feel like you have to be with me! You have to be my boyfriend and by my side and-"

Seth blanched. "We could be friends!"

Y/n scoffed. "When have imprints ever been just friends?"

"Oh, I don't know, Quil and his imprint? Claire? Little girl? I'm sure you've seen them together?" He was full sass now, his hand on his hip and his shoulders dipping so he could be closer to her height.

That made Y/n smirk. "And what happens when she grows up? They'll be so close, and their bond will be so strong that I'm sure she'll be crushing on him from the time she's 11. And then she'll reach 13, 14, and things will take a real shift. 15 and he'll ask her on a date. They'll be dating before she's 16- I PROMISE you!"

Seth folded his arms over his chest. "And what's so wrong about that?"

"It's like an arranged marriage!" Y/n groaned. "No choice, not really. There's always someone who loves someone before they were forced to love someone else." Seth thought of Sam and Leah and looked away. "There's always someone who never wanted an imprint, who was vehemently against it until they imprinted and it suddenly changed EVERYTHING for them." That immediately brought thoughts of Jacob, and Seth wondered what it would be like for Jake of all people - who is the most against imprinting - to be thrust into a love he didn't want. "There's always the best friends suddenly turned lovers or strangers that become so close so fast that it gives everyone else whiplash." She paused. "There's always the boy who hates the girl until some magical fate bullshit decides he will no longer be able to." It was quiet for a second. "And what happens if I say no, Seth? We fall apart? We break down and lose our minds? Before I was hoping to just get you to not hate me, but now you're willing to do anything to see me happy. It's sick and twisted and unnatural, and I hate it!" Her eyes watered and Seth's heart began to ache.

He was shocked by how poorly he'd perceived this girl. Why did he even hate her to begin with? Because everyone else was infatuated with her, so he refused to be like everyone else? Because she was pretty? Because she was impossible to not like and he liked to do impossible things? Because he was suddenly in the mood to mess with people and cause little problems here and there that were utterly harmless... until they weren't? Because of hormones? Because she was a new face in a small town and she could light up a room with her smile, bringing a new meaning to the word 'life' with just the way her eyes sparkled? Because she was hard to resist and hard to stay away from and it threw him off in a way he couldn't comprehend or control? Because, maybe, even before she was his imprint she was his crush and he didn't like forced, rushed things either?

The epiphany hit him hard, and he wondered how he could communicate the thought process to her without getting interrupted, misinterpreted, or just sound pushy or annoying. Words never did the job actions could...

Actions took time though.

He met her eyes. "Why don't we just start at friends?"

She rolled her eyes. "Seth, where I come from, imprints are seen as... wrong. They're frowned upon. My parents would move us again, at worst. Put me on internet school at best. It doesn't happen much for my pack but after they were nearly wiped out a wolf whose imprint died... it's been totally off limits. Against the unspoken laws. It's best if we just stayed away from each other."

Seth's eyes widened a bit. "I don't want to stay away from you."

Y/n sighed. "It doesn't go away, the pain. But you learn to bare it, and once it hits a point, it stops getting worse. They say it's just like an emptiness. Like someone took a part of you away forever. It's not even painful after a while." Her eyes watered and Seth realized that she was scared. She had been brought to think of imprinting differently than he did and now she was terrified of the situation dumped in her lap.

Unable to help himself he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her. She gasped, and he expected her to push him away. But she didn't. She clung to him. They were both quiet a second before she finally did move away from him. "You're a nice kid, Seth. I'm sorry it was me."

She turned away and began walking back to her house. "I'm not," he told her. She paused. "And I'm not giving up on you. I was wrong to not like you before. It was dumb and immature, and I'm glad I imprinted on you because it forced me to see my bullshit to the core of this whole thing." He chuckled. "Emotions are hard, and I know you think it's wrong but... I can slow it down. I can make it as real as it should be- as it would have been if I hadn't. If we hadn't. I know I can do it."

"What if I don't want you to?" she asked without turning around.

He paused for a second. "Look me in the face and say you don't want me to. That you don't even want to be friends. Part of our group, like that day you came to the bonfire. Tell me you want me to go away and if you really want me to not be apart of your life, I'll do it. Whatever you need."

Y/n was quiet for a second. Her hands curled into fists and then she kept walking, and Seth smirked, watching her.

Just like I thought, he thought to himself.

He was determined now. He'd be gentle, but he was determined. Determined to prove to her that she was wrong and there was more to this than she had been taught.

-

Seth kept his promise.

He waited two weeks before he even acknowledged her again. Until his chest hurt and his stomach was in knots, and his heart felt like pure metal, heavy and weighed down in his chest. Only when Seth missed her so much that he couldn't pretend he wasn't feeling it anymore did he finally break, finally stopping himself from going out of his way to avoid her. One day he held a door open for her. It was so casual and lowkey that he didn't even look at her as he held it open. She shot him a look, but he only looked at her after a second, motioning her to keep walking after it seemed she was stuck in place. She thought he would hover around her after she went through, but he only brushed past her and then made his way to his friends.

Another time she dropped a book while she was juggling a bunch of things in her arms, and at once and he appeared seemingly out of nowhere with a polite, friendly smile. He went to hand it back to her before he saw her struggling and paused. She saw him look at her struggling and the moment he decided he was going to help. For a second she was going to snap at him to back off, but then he very concernedly asked, "That looks like you're caring a lot. May I please help?" She had seen Seth hold doors open for other girls and help teachers or neighbors carry things to places if it was too heavy or too much before. What would it be different if he helped her now? So she said yes. He looked so relieved that she chuckled.

After that, he told her her backpack zipper was open. Or that her shoes were untied. Or that her hair looked pretty. He eased himself into her life as naturally as if it hadn't been planned. It was so easy for him to go from noticing her need for help to seeing her regularly from then on. It felt so typical that she was taken aback.

Who'd have thought a seventeen-year-old boy would have so much control? From there he started to bump into her more. He'd acknowledge her as he went inside, calling her name and waving. He greeted her as he held a door open, by name. If they happened to be walking down a hallway together in the same direction, he would move up next to her and start idle chatter about casual, mundane things. Suddenly they were acquaintances, and she realized that he had weaseled his way to that spot so quickly, so smoothly, it was as if it was made for him specifically.

A month had passed from when they'd had their showdown in the woods before he approached her at lunch and sat with her. At first, she was tense, but the reaction was so much less severe than if he had done so at the beginning. They began chatting, catching up, gossiping. He got her to laugh, and she got him to roll his eyes in amusement. Three days later, Seth's friends came to them as well. One by one they came to sit at her table until Jake, Embry, Quil, Seth, Colin, and Y/n were all sitting together at lunch, cracking up hysterically and shoving and teasing and acting as if they had known each other forever. Just like that Y/n was one of Seth's friends.

Everything was going good... until the dance came up. 

Prom, oh, prom. It was their senior year, and Seth was stoked to go to prom as a last hurrah for his senior year, and the final step to his plan. He had looped everyone in on it and as an entire pack (and friends, with even Sam's pack offering to help). Making the poster, planning the perfect place to wait as Y/n made her way from school to her house. The pun and the flowers- they all made sure everything was perfect. The others didn't know why because Seth didn't want to tell them anything Y/n wasn't willing to have them know, but they did know that it was imperative that he was careful and precise and that nothing went wrong. Any little thing could set her off and then she'd be gone, and all his hard work would be for nothing. He had to respect her boundaries too.

He waited by himself a little ways from the school so that when he faced Y/n, it would be just him and her. Private. No pressure, no audience, and no chance it would get back to her parents too soon. She'd have time to think and process and make a decision without feeling like he was rushing or forcing anything. When he saw her face, he perked up, shaking the little poster he'd made. It was small for a sign- more movie poster sized than prom poster. Easy to carry or throw away if this went wrong. "Hey," he greeted. She was about a foot away, and when she saw his stance and what he was holding, she froze. Now he tried to ease into it so she wouldn't freak out. "Y/n, you're a good friend of mine. I think so anyway." He was suddenly nervous, far more than he had been before. What if he hadn't accounted for something? What if no matter what he did or how long he took, he would never win her over? He could be satisfied being her friend if that was what she really needed, but it was HIM that liked her. HE - not the wolf and it's stupid instincts - was asking her to prom. He wanted this, so badly he knew his heart would break if it was as impossible as she had first made it out to be. "Um." He paused, looking up at her. "You don't have to say yes. But I really like you, Y/n. Me."

She looked up at him, her eyes widened as she slowly approached him. He watched her. "Seth..." She panicked, covering her mouth. "I want to say yes." He didn't move a single muscle. She looked at him very carefully. "I mean... ME." Her palm flattened against her chest. Her eyes watered and she almost smiled. "I want to say yes. Past instinct, past need, I just want to..." Seth grinned until her smile fell, horror filling her expression. "Oh my god, I'm in love with you."

She had said it so quietly he'd almost missed it. Almost. He stepped closer. "Y/n-"

But she stepped back, her hands up. He faltered. "No." She shook her head, eyes widening more. "No."

He set the poster on the ground, leaning it against a tree as he slowly approached her. Her hands stretched out, trying to keep him away. He grabbed them with his own, bringing her fingers to his lips. "I love you too," he whispered, close enough to her that she couldn't miss it. "ME. I do, not the imprint stuff. Just like you said. I promise." Her eyes closed. "I know. Without us imprinting, I know we would still be here. Right now. We would still be in this exact position, and you'd still be asking me to prom, and I would be as terrified as I am right now because, even if I hadn't imprinted, I'm still... terrified."

"Of me?" Seth asked gently, almost hurt.

"Of me," she corrected. "Of my heart and my feelings." She looked at him. "I've never fallen in love before."

Seth stepped closer, one of his hands moving to brush against her cheek, her jaw. He calmed her with his touch and the soft smile that adorned his lips. "Neither have I. We'll go on from here just as we did before, yeah? Slow and steady. We're figuring it out together."

Looking up at him, Y/n finally smiled. "Yeah. Okay." She still felt scared, but less so when he was by her side, having her back. If giving into her fear meant losing Seth, what better reason did she have to be brave than to keep him around as long as he'd let her?

-

FTL: @chipster-21 @alexa-playafricabytoto @bitchyseawitch @justanotherdaydreamersoul @wolfgirlxslytherin

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Eleven: Adventure ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Itachi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Virtual Vitality ] [ AO3 Link ]

Well...he can think of worse ways to go out.

Cliche as it is, the end of the world has been nigh for...quite some time. And while the rich bigwigs shuttle off for space and the poor are left to their devices, those somewhere in the middle have another option: a virtual reality for the digital records of their brains to live on for...well, there wasn’t a specific end date given. The servers are robust, robotic caretakers and spare parts galore left for maintenance in its secure, secret location, and the rest left to fate as the world breathes its last few breaths.

The queue for digitalization has been rampant for weeks. Every country has seen massive crowds gathering for a chance to achieve digital immortality. And Sasuke’s family were among them.

They managed to be among the earliest, finding a neurological scan facility within their city. It took several days of camping out along the sidewalk, slowly moving up as others dredged alongside them. But then came their turn.

To say it was chaotic would be an understatement. But so too was it obvious the staff was doing all it could to accommodate them all. Not only had they been doing it for weeks by that point, but surely they’d been trained beforehand to handle it, the numbers to be expected.

“Uchiha?”

“Yes,” Fugaku had rumbled in reply.

“Six in your party?”

“That’s right.”

Father, mother, brother...aunt, cousin, and himself, Sasuke mentally counted. The closest of their immediate family. The rest either lived far, or were simply never heard from.

“All right then...please, follow me.” A doctor with a clipboard escorted them to a room off a hallway that branched from the main lobby. Even there it felt crowded, and the tension in the air made Sasuke borderline anxious. Within the chamber were several chairs, a myriad of tech, and a head-level device attached to the ceiling, like one of those portable x-ray machines at a dentist’s office.

“All right...everyone please take a seat, and then we’ll get started as soon as I log your profiles.” The doctor turned to the computer, fingers flying over the keys as the Uchiha all settled nervously in their chairs...save for Itachi, who was put into place in his wheelchair.

“Eager to walk again?” Shisui asked quietly.

“I’m not sure ‘eager’ is the proper term given the overarching circumstances, but...relatively speaking? Yes,” was Itachi’s ever-dry answer.

“Well gee, thanks for making me feel like an asshole…”

“Sorry...I’m just...tense.”

“Yeah...I get that.”

“We will begin alphabetically, please. Fugaku, if you would?”

Giving his family a glance, Fugaku did as asked, standing and following the doc’s orders to stand perfectly still. Adjusting the scanner, they then stood back, plugging in something through the keyboard before the procedure began.

As if with a mind of its own, the machine began to move. Slowly turning about Fugaku’s head, it almost looked like some kind of wild animal cautiously circling. Doing his best to hold still, the patriarch’s eyes nonetheless swiveled in their sockets in an attempt to watch.

“And...that’s done! Itachi is next.”

Visibly relieved, Fugaku then positioned his son, the machine lowered to account for his seated posture.

And so it went, over and over until it was finally Sasuke’s turn. Standing in the proper place, he eyed the machine warily as it was set in place.

“Do your best to keep still, and we’ll wrap up with your cousin.”

“...right.”

“Now, things will go dark for the copy, and then it will wake in the server. For you, however, things will continue as normal.”

Heaving a steadying breath, Sasuke couldn’t help but flinch as it started to move. Around it went, slowly, the hum of its mechanisms sounding in his ears.

As soon as the machine stopped...everything went black.

...and then a moment later, he opens his eyes.

He’s...in some sort of...lobby…? It looks like a hotel or something, but...no one else is around. Where’s his family?

“Hey, finally! A familiar face!”

Turning, Sasuke’s brows lift. “Shisui?”

“Yeah! Apparently the data loads in small batches, so the others should be around soon...we’re advised to wait until then so no one gets separated.”

“Where’d you hear that?”

“Some kind of npc lady. She’s been wandering around, clearly on a script.”

“What, like...a game?”

“Sorta. Also...you might want to change your clothes. You’re still in the default.”

“Default? What -?” Jostling as his cousin turns him toward a mirror, Sasuke blanches. He’s in a plain white t-shirt, pants, and shoes. Like some kind of mannequin or something. “...how...do I…?”

“Bring up your dominant hand, palm up.”

“...uh -?” Doing as asked, Sasuke glances to his left. Then, much like a game, some kind of...menu springs up, making him holler and stumble backward.

“Yeah, it...takes some getting used to. Anyway, see that, uh...chest of drawers looking icon? That’s the wardrobe. Pick whatever you want! You can even change the colors.”

“...huh.” Still a bit leery, Sasuke presses the ‘button’, watching as an inventory does indeed bloom. He’s...really not sure what to wear, and he doesn’t feel like taking all that long to look...so he settles on a dark top, a sweatshirt, and some jeans.

“There, that’s more like the Sasuke I know! Guess now we’ll just...sit and wait for - whoa!”

Glancing to Shisui, Sasuke has to do a double take. Itachi’s data has loaded...and…

“Dude...you’ve got legs!”

Looking a bit disoriented for a moment, Itachi then looks to his cousin...and then down. “...I’ve always had legs,” he eventually retorts. “These just...function.”

“You know what I mean,” Shisui replies, waving a hand. “Come on, let’s pick you some clothes, dude! You look like that one chick from that insurance commercial…”

Brow furrowing, Itachi lets himself be guided through the motions as Mikoto, her sister, and her husband then appear.

“Looks like we all made it,” Sasuke offers, moving to help walk them through what he himself has learned so far.

And then others start to load, typically by themselves or in pairs. Knowledge passes, and soon enough fifty or so people (individually dressed) mill about in the lobby.

“If I may have your attention, please!”

Everyone turns at the voice, finding a woman standing at the head of the room: likely the one Shisui mentioned.

“Greetings, and welcome to the post-Earth survival servers. Your data has been successfully loaded! I will now give you your introductory guide to the servers.

“Servers are all interconnected through various lobbies, like this one. To travel between servers, you need only return to the proper lobby, where you can load any of the available servers! The default exit point for this lobby is the ‘fantasy RPG’ server.”

“Wait, seriously?” Shisui whispers. “I wasn’t serious when I compared this to a game…!”

“A variety of people means a variety of experiences! A full list of lobbies and their contents are available for perusal in your menu. Simply lift your dominant hand, palm up, to access your personal menu. Data collected while in a server will be stored within each: so if you leave a server and come back, your previous data will be reloaded, and you can continue your experience where you left off! You can also restart at any time, should you wish to explore the world from the beginning again!

“This lobby will be closed for one hour while this batch of data are allowed time to pick their first server. If you haven’t made a choice, you will be moved to the default server to free up the lobby to load more data! And as mentioned, you can change servers at any time.

“Specific data can also be searched and found on the server maps through your menus, so you can always locate another data should you become separated!

“If you require any further explanations, there are guides and tutorials for hundreds of subject matter in your menu’s encyclopedia! Organize them by subject, or search for a specific aspect. Your hour begins now - please, enjoy your post-Earth experience!”

After an awkward pause, everyone starts talking amongst their groups, menus opening and plans being made.

“...well, that’s...not what I was expecting,” Itachi admits as the Uchiha all gather.

“Y’know...I might actually stick with this server to start,” Shisui muses, a hand at his chin. “I’ve always loved RPGs!”

The adults, however, express a desire to find something more...normal, perhaps modern.

“We can always meet up again later,” Sasuke offers with a shrug. “I mean, the map seems pretty easy to use. Cuz honestly...I might stick with Shisui. This sounds like fun.”

“Then I shall as well,” Itachi agrees, while the trio of elders offer to establish a kind of ‘home base’ in a modern server to regroup to.

“So...guess we just...head out, then?” Sasuke asks.

“Seems that way. But I have to wonder, if this really is an RPG server...where’s all the roleplaying options? Y’know, classes and all that?”

“Perhaps we will find out when we load into the server itself,” Itachi muses.

“Um...excuse me…?”

Finding themselves interrupted, the trio turn to find a young woman standing nearby. “Can we help you?” Itachi asks, ever polite.

“I, um...I couldn’t help but overhear that you...that you plan to stay in this server?”

“Yeah, we thought we’d give it a try,” Shisui confirms.

“Could...c-could I join you? At least to start, so I’m not b-by myself? The rest of my family, um...isn’t interested.”

The three exchange glances. “...I don’t see why not,” Sasuke replies. “You got a name?”

“Oh! Yes! It’s Hinata - Hinata Hyūga.”

“Well I’m Shisui - and these are my cousins, Itachi and Sasuke,” the eldest explains with the proper gestures.

“It’s nice to meet you!”

“Well, what do you say, guys? Should we go start ourselves a little adventure?” Shisui’s eyebrows wiggle, making Hinata giggle and the other two roll their eyes.

“This is going to be a long one,” Itachi sighs.

“We’ll just feed him to the first troll we find,” Sasuke suggests with a smirk.

“Oi!”

“That’s not very nice,” Hinata replies.

“Trust me...you’ll see what I mean soon enough.”

                                                              .oOo. 

     I am SUPER tired so I'll try to be brief.      My own little take on "living in an RPG", based a little bit on that game SOMA by Frictional Games, aka the brain scan part lol - I've never actually read / watched a story of "living in an RPG" so...this is me winging it xD      I'd like to do more, if the cut-off point doesn't make that obvious. It was getting a LITTLE long, and...it's very late and I'm exhausted OTL Been ill the last two days so my brain is just blegh, lol      Aaanyway, it's sleep time for me! Thanks for reading~

[twitchesandstitches]

Commission for @alt-hammer of a Karkat/Terezi/Nepeta polyamory romance set on an AU where the trolls live on Earth and, after a year away, have returned to Karkat for a sleepover whle moving into his place and got STACKED

----

The photo lurked in a crowd of other pictures, of varying sizes; some were pretty much the same size as it, and others were a lot bigger. Still others towered over it like a very sweet tiger over a kitten, making the little photo look ridiculously tiny.

There was probably a pretty good metaphor in that, wagered Karkat Vantas.

The photo he was staring at was the absolute oldest one, taken by the Parent Trio themselves; he, Nepeta and Terezi had barely been more than larval wrigglers there, hardly popped out of their cocoons and still poking at the humans for the exotic thrill of it. He was a bit stunned by how small Nepeta and Terezi were in this one; they were barely any taller than him, Nepeta wiry, Terezi very stout, and with Karkat’s more feminine build, and the way they had always been sat Vantas-Leijon-Pyrope, there was also a sliding scale of ‘round to pointy’ horn shape. A bit inverted for body shape, but whatever.

He followed the trail of photos taken over the years. They always sat in the same way, but always kind of teasing; Nepeta bonking Karkat with her horns while Terezi had him in a headlock, for example, back when they were in middle school with their human friends. The photo passed; so did the years, and there was a common theme there. Terezi and Nepeta got bigger, and Karkat did not; circa the college years, he was sitting upon their thighs just to be in frame with them, and their large bustlines pressing into his back in a way that was very distracting and they were totally doing on purpose.

He tried not to crack a grin at the memory.

Finally he looked down at the photo in his hands, taken just that morning to celebrate Nepeta and Terezi moving in after a year away from home, establishing their careers and incidentally hitting their full adult growth, and taking their respective careers of intrepid zoologist and internal affairs agent by storm. He’d been living a pretty ordinary life, by all accounts, in technical assistance calls. Even before they left for that fateful year, and they had to continue their relationship mainly via video calls, he wondered why they stuck with him.

(‘It’s nice to come home and know it’ll always be there, nice and safe,” Terezi had said once, before kissing him on the cheek. Usually that was for teasing, but he supposed this time it meant something special.)

Karkat selected a special place of honor for the photo and placed it where it would loom over all the others, like the girls did to him. Right behind the other photos, plainly visible and the new glass still shiny on it.

On the photo, Karkat was doing his best to look stern and serious; hard to do, sitting on a chair that made you look tiny, just to get into frame. The two women were next to him, sitting in a way that accidentally (and he had doubts about it being an accident) pressed their door-breaking hips right into him; both their hips had to be almost wider than he was tall! They were a lot bigger than him, more than twice his size, and while he was small for a troll, he was still bigger than a human; they would have towered over any of the beings native to their adopted world, and even over other trolls.

In the photo, he looked kind of stunned. Kind of funny, looking it at from this angle, but he still remembered the weight of them pressing against him from both his sides and above; the sense of mass like their personal space included him too, how their bustlines had grown so large he couldn’t look them in the face if he got too close. That his horns were about level with their waists. They were just so damn big.

Their hugs were a lot more fun, though.

Nepeta, in the photo, was grinning; her thick lips framed an open smile as she hugged Karkat with one wiry arm. Shaped rather like an hourglass (huge boobs, small waist, huge hips, all corded with muscle), she was at least nine feet tall, her breasts bigger than her head and filling out the lab safe gear she was wearing. She’d still just come off her shift at the biology labs for this photo. A long tail, covered in the same thick and fluffy proto-fur as the cropped hair hanging over her face, curled around both Karkat and Terezi.

Oh boy. Terezi; he blushed at the memory. She looked too big to even fit into the frame, a big and… motherly looking troll, like a personification of the very idea of the Hot Mom everyone had a crush on. Big all over; massive boobs, a soft and plump gut hanging over her belt line, absolutely massive hips, huge thighs wider than Karkat’s whole body, and she was even taller than Nepeta to boot, at least a full head-and-shoulders more. Even sitting down, cackling up a storm and doing the neat trick of giving Karkat noogies but being a sweetie about it, she emanated a weird charisma. The tightly pressed and professional business suit of a lawyer she wore (the cleavage cut low, not because she wanted to but her boobs were just so big that low cuts popped in) seemed incongruous.

Appearances were deceptive. Terezi Pyrope and Nepeta Leijon were by far some of the most skilled, competent and smart people in the whole world, and he was still a little offended on their behalf that they wanted to spend their lives with him.

He knew them well; Karkat had been dating the two of them ever since high school; technically middle school, if you believed their parent’s interpretation of things. Multi-person relationships were not so uncommon these days, especially among trolls, and definitely after the discory of ancient troll artifacts depicting cultural touchstones of their unknown homeworld from before they had ever come to Earth; the translated notions of pansexual relationships based on different sorts of interpersonal dynamics had been an interesting one, and the discovery of it had put Aradia’s mom, Damara Sr., right in the spotlight.

She was a generous lady, bankrolling Terezi and Nepeta’s education like she had, and they had really gone places in but one year. To the law circuits, to the most prestigious laboratories in the world… and he’d been with them all the time, dating mostly by distance, over video call and e-mail, but they’d all been loyal to each other even as fame seekers came calling to earn their favors.

‘Terezi and Nep have got weird taste,’ Karkat concluded. Those two women had turned down some big stars, sticking with him. He was just the guy who kept the house for them to come home to, or so he’d thought of himself.

There was a soft motion from behind him, a sense of air being moved, and he didn’t even have to look around to know that Nepeta was standing nearby now, her tail swishing gently. He turned to face her and instantly blushed, staring back at the ground.

Nepeta’s boobs… were so… BIG. Where was her face at!? Where am I supposed to look… oh damn, that is BIG… don’t look, don’t look! BE A GENTLEMAN, YOU DENSE VAGABOND.

“Aw,” Nepeta cooed, perfectly aware of what he was thinking, and she moved over to him, bouncing enthusiastically all the while. “Come here!” She scooped him into a hug; he squeaked as he was lifted off the ground, against a much cooler body and then a lot of softness that he sank into, like a big and slightly sloshy bed. He nearly vanished into her cleavage as she hugged him, purring rumbling all around him.

And then, she kissed him on the forehead, holding him up higher to do that.

She put him down. Karkat wobbled faintly. “Are you going to keep doing that every time you see me now…?” He said weakly.

Nepeta nodded firmly. “I have to make up for lost time. I haven’t been around you for too long! Me and Terezi promised!”

Karkat felt his heart skip several beats at the thought. He felt warm and fuzzy, thinking about it. He was just a solid romantic.

But, to buisness. “Okay, we got everything ready for our official first night together as a… uh. Proper romance trio?”

Nepeta frowned. “I don’t know.” She turned her head and yelled, “TEREZI!”

“WHAT?!” Another voice bellowed from elsewhere.

“DO WE HAVE ALL THE STUFF WE NEED!?”

“I DUNNO! BRING IT HERE! MIGHT AS WELL GET EVERYTHING READY!”

Karkat nodded with a grim purpose totally inappropriate to the situation. “IT WILL BE DONE!”

“COOL, THANKS!” Terezi said. “I’LL BE DOWN, GIMME A SECOND!”

“WAIT, YOU DON’T NEED TO-” There was a loud stomping noise, as if of stars taking a very curvaceous weight they were not built for. Karkat groaned. “Never mind…”

Nepeta’s mouth worked, calculating the damages likely to ensue. As she did, her horns gouged right into the ceiling; she was just too tall for it otherwise. “Oops…!”

“Never mind! Gotta renovate this place anyhow.”

“I’m sorry!” Nepeta said anyway. “I don’t want to ruin your house! Our house! Um. Sorry!”

“...Eh. Place has been empty for a while; it’s mostly just been me here.” He froze up. He had talked about a lot of things to Nepeta and Terezi since they left and he’d stayed behind, but he’d never quite found a way to put into words the numbing sense of isolation.

He had missed Nepeta’s bone-crushing hugs, the way Terezi threw an arm around his shoulder and crushed his body to her own ithat wasn’t quite bullying. He missed their voices on the air, the sound of them singing off-key to drown out an especially annoying commercial.

(“Come on!” they’d yelled, years ago, when they had been small; Karkat had been slightly smaller, but they had been just as tiny as him, three rambunctious gremlins, their horns like a sliding scale of round to pointy.

He’d wandered over, grumpy and pouting, but he bellowed louder than either of them, and they picked up the song with him, discordant and screeching until Dad Vantas came down and promptly joined. Then he headbutted the TV and dared the kids to do the same.

He still remembered how cool Terezi and Nepeta’s hands felt on his hot blooded arms.)

“Having to get repairs done is totally worth have you guys here, full time,” he said, straying back into his usual persona.

Nepeta gave him a very knowing look that calmly indicated she wasn’t buying into his deceptions, and she smiled. “Sorry anyway. Look… I got some meat pies for us earlier. Let’s bring them up.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Karkat dropped to all fours and galloped into the kitchen, the bulk of Nepeta right behind him. She paused at the entrance and he gamely ignored the severely wrecked doorframe and the spaces that had apparently been carved out for some distinctly curvy frames much too large to fit into a Vantas-sized doorway. He walked past a trailer of crumbled plaster and glanced up to the ceiling. There was an impact point, as if of an unwary head boink-ing into the ceiling, and two wavering tears right into it, apparently scooped right out with easy force, and they went all the way to the table… and another pair going back out. They were pretty wide and, he was sure, a perfect match for Nepeta’s slightly concave horns.

He pretended it wasn’t there. No reason to make her sad.

Even so, he went to the closet and got out a little cleaning robot he’d gotten Dave to design into a crab-like shape. It swore in a very creative mash of randomized pretentious insults and obscure slang; that would have been Sollux’s part of the gift. He sent it to clean up the mess and went to get the pies.

He tried, at least. The table was built to his specifications (a little bigger than an average human, but smaller than most trolls), but the specially woven basket was almost wider around than the tables entire diameter. Filled to the brim with enormous pies that had to weigh a couple dozen pounds each, stuffed with juicy meats and savory sauces, each one nearly as big across as Karkat’s torso and promised to feed an entire family for a week. They’d probably make mouthfuls for Nepeta and Terezi, though.

“This is just a few pies, huh!?” He said, grumpily.

Nepeta grinne and patted one huge hip. “A growing girl needs lots of food to build up!”

“That’s the excuse you’re going for?”

“Yep!”

There was a loud stomping behind him, at the newly expanded doorway to the kitchen. It was both an announcement, declaration of intent to enter, and lurking beneath that, a quieter invitation.

It was a very layered noise, but that was just Terezi Pyrope all over.

Karkat turned and looked up, and up, and up some more, at an absolutely enormous teal-blood troll woman. He’d been vaguely aware that the two loves of his life had kept growing when he had just sort of petered out, and that puberty was a gift for them that never stopped giving, but it had been one thing to get a vague idea of on video call. It was totally different to see their full enormity in person.

Terezi didn’t so much move as swagger, and her hips suited a motion like that; they were so wide, testaments to absurd fertility, that she couldn’t even fit them into the doorway, and she was too tall to fit anyway. She ducked down, swinging one hip in and then the other in a surprisingly quick jerk. Her breasts heaved, pinching against the doorway, just too big to fit through so they were pushed together, as if by a rather mean-spirited push up bra. Terezi grunted with effort, heaving and struggling, her broad shoulders flexing…

Nepeta winced, covering her ears in expectation of an architectural problem. Karkat avoided further stress and just blurted out, “Oh, hell with it, just smash through!”

Terezi did so. A lot of plaster rained down, and a bit of framework crumbled around her waist as she stood up, and bonked her head into the ceiling just like Nepeta apparently had earlier. “Ow!” She ducked down again, too tall for this room. “Stupid low ceilings…” Karkat grimaced at her, and Terezi verbally backpedaled. “Uh, it’s a good low ceiling though… yeah. Your ancestors should be proud. ...I think?”

“Damn right!” Karkat retorted, mostly on reflex. It was a family joke that the house had been in the Vantas bloodline, in its various permutations, ever since trollkind had first come to Earth from wherever it was they’d originally come from. The archaeological evidence that pinned the earliest trolls at beng at least around six thousand years on Earth made the claim of owning this spit of land extremely unlikely, since at that point Karkat’s most distant ancestors had probably been crawling around central Asia with the semetic branch of humanity they would eventually be considered blood-brothers to, several continents away from this house.

It could be very hard to tell the difference between a running Vantas joke and a logical impossibility the family had nonetheless wired into their brains. Certainly Karkat’s father, Kankri, thought it was important to keep the joke going with a totally straight face.

Terezi grinned, but given how huge her boobs were, it was really hard to tell; they looked almost bigger than Karkat’s whole upper body, and projected out from Terezi’s torso like a cliff face, her t-shirt hanging loose from their contours. Her face, gorgeous as it was, had become a rare sight for him.

Terezi seemed to fill the entire kitchen, even though she wasn’t that big. She was too tall to comfortably walk into a human-sized room, and too wide (and too curvy, and too busty) to deal with ordinary doorways without breaking them, but the fact that she was probably around ten feet or so tall didn’t account for the sheer weight her presence had.

Terezi was charismatic; she could have been a leader of humans and trolls alike, and he’d eagerly followed the news accounts of her terrorizing corrupt court rooms and bureaucracies into shape. The terror of bribe-bought officials and authorities too eager to employ force or keep people controlled, Terezi came and swept the landscape like a dragon in a fantasy story, leaving behind ashes that she grew into a much better organization.

She put a hand on his shoulder, and leaned down enough so that her face was on level with his. Her thick lips brushed wetly against his mouth. “C’mon,” she murmured. “Let me gimme a hand.”

“Both of us!” Nepeta chided her. “We’re all in this, all three of us!”

“Yeah, that too.” Both women placed a hand on Karkat’s shoulders and gave him a pleasant squeezy touch. He almost fainted; after so many years of barely being in their presence, he was being spoiled terribly by them!

Terezi stood up, and lifted up the basket without any real sign of effort. Her arms were bulky, soft, and had no real definition, but he had felt her arms, and the muscles there put bridge cables to shame. He contemplated faking a swoon just so he could fall into her arms, but decided against it. She’d probably let him drop and then she would pick him up and tease him so bad.

Terezi winked at him. “Let’s get going,” she said, and stifled an odd sensation, as if of a little surge building up. Nepeta felt it too, but it was so minor, neither of them thought to say anything.

They did feel very hungry, though.

-----

Several hours passed as they got everything ready.

At last Karkat sat down on what was, to him, a mattress so thick and heavy that it could double as a very gradual bounce house. To Nepeta and Terezi, it was a comfortably thick mattress, sized up for their particularly sizes. It was stable enough, and steady enough, to support a little blanket, and all the food and drinks they wanted on a nearby tray. Approximately a dozen kegs worth of different fizzy drinks, bowls of snacks and tasty treats that Karkat could have slept inside.

The room was large, the ceiling newly renovated for the two ladies to actually be able to stand up in. Nepeta sat up and waved her arms excitedly, stretching her claws out. Terezi lounged on a small pile of blankets, rolling around and cooing. “Someone get a movie queued up,” she mumbled. “I’m feeling it~!”

Karkat, dwarfed by the two giant women, sat in their shadow and he examined a little agenda clipboard. He rifled through it. Food? Check. Drinking things? Check? Terezi and Nepeta? Very check. Karkat? HE poked himself, felt quite real, and he checked that off too.

Terezi rolled her eyes; presumably; she had been blind since birth. She left him too it and swallowed a meat pie whole, frowning at the rumbling in her belly. “Geez, I’m starving.”

“Me too!” Nepeta outdid her, gulping down two extremely large sandwiches at once, her jaws stretching to fit them in.

Karkat didn’t pay much attention to them begin to gorge, or their puzzled comments on why there were suddenly so hungry, and if he had he might have put two and two together. As it was, he selected a queue of movies for them to watch, all things they had seen together in the past as a kind of tribute to the good old days, and celebrating the new ones to come.

When he was done, Terezi and Nepeta were sitting upright, their guts rumbling very loudly. “Uh,” he said. “You two all right?”

Nepeta winced. “My tummy kinda hurts. And my boobs!” She gestured towards her heavy bustline. “It’s itchy!”

“Me too,” Terezi said. “This feels familiar.”

Nepeta nodded. “Yeah! I… oh. Oooohhh.”

Trolls have growth spurts. It was a biological thing. They usually grew gradually, but sometimes, a growth spurt hit all at once. It needed a lot of nutrition to fuel the growth, but once it hit, it was intense.

And intense it was; though it took not much more than about half a minute of furious biological activity, it seemed longer, and Karkat saw it for the first time in person. Terezi and Nepeta’s growth spurts had been big, he knew the results, but it didn’t prepare him for the sight of their overhanging t-shirts straining as their breasts abruptly swelled bigger, dozens of pounds of flesh growing on the spot!

“Eep!” Nepeta squeaked, trying to cup herself and failing. A few seamlines popped as her cleavage dove, the suddenly constraining fabric forcing a lot of new breast-flesh upwards. Her boy shorts creaked as well, in a way indicated her thighs had swelled so much the sides were touching even now, and her butt growing so much her shorts looked like a thong from the back!

Terezi sat back speculatively as her body grew in the same way as Nepeta’s, perhaps a bit more dramatically with how much larger she already was. Her boobs appeared to double in size! Already bigger than her head and upper torso, they expanded with some audible milky noises to be large enough to overflow right into Terezi’s lap, over her thighs, and even right onto the bed. Perfectly round, fabric creaking and t-shirt peeling away from all but the most awkward of her contours, so much boob that it was being pushed upwards into two hills of cleavage, rising higher than her eyes.

And she, and Nepeta, were still growing.

Eventually it petered off, with one particularly dramatic flounce from Terezi. She doubled over, nearly flopping right onto Karkat boob-first, nailing him underneath her. He sank into her new assets, and made an adorable squeaking noise.

“Oh, wow… this is a, a lot!” Nepeta said, examining herself. She turned to Karkat. “Are you okay!?”

“Yes,” Karkat said, ratherly muffled from all that Terezi on him.

Terezi leaned up and fell back down again, her increasingly gargantuan backside wobbling heavily in her pajama pants. They looked more like leggings now, though. “I’m okay, I’m fine! Just gimme a WHOA!” She overbalanced and flopped over, again, but this time NEpeta dove forward and pulled Karkat out of the splash zone.

Terezi did a thumbs up. “Nice work… ooh, this is gonna be an adjustment.”

“That was on purpose, wasn’t it,” Karkat said weakly, his body still tingling.

“The growth?” Terezi replied. “No. Landing on you?” She turned from her faceful of boob, grinning. “Maaay-be!”

Nepeta hugged him, and he fit very snugly into her expanded cleavage. It had to be going from her collar all the way to her ribs! Not as huge as Terezi’s upper body not being totally concealed, but still, that was big. Karkat sank in, and was quite content with that. “See? I told you we needed the nutrition!”

“Hmph!” He squeaked. “Let me go…!”

“Nuh uh. Make up for lost time, remember?”

Terezi snuggled over, with some difficulty; her new bust size was throwing off her balance too much. But she locked up with Nepeta, Karkat neatly pinned between them, and Terezi first kissed Nepeta between the horns, and then Karkat, her breasts pushing against Nepeta’s so that Karkat was lost in a world of giant girlfriend boobs.

“You’re sneaky,” he managed to say, too dazed to be more clever.

Both girls giggled as a movie started to play, and they hugged each other and their tiny boyfriend more enthusiastically.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Team Rocket

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

“Prepare for trouble! And make it double!”

I feel like there are few anime villains who are quite as iconic and memorable to the current generation than the bumbling trio of Team Rocket: Jessie, James, and Meowth (that’s right!). These three have appeared in nearly every single episode of the anime, indisputably being main characters on the level of Ash and his pals. Hell, they actually have more of a right to being main characters than franchise staples like Brock, Misty, or whatever girl of the season Ash has tagging along. Team Rocket are pretty omnipresent.

Of course, they’ve had many ups and downs over the years. From some poor showings to voice actor changes to being so overexposed it’s hard not to get tired of them to some absolutely awful decisions the characters make, Team Rocket are just as imperfect creations as most of the other characters in the show. Still, I find Team Rocket to be more consistently enjoyable and even for the most part more compelling than Ash Ketchum. It helps that, unlike him, they have rather interesting backstories and characterization.

Actor: Originally, the trio were voiced by Rachel Lillis (Jessie), Eric Stuart (James), and Maddie Blaustein (Meowth), though in the case of Blaustein and Stuart they actually weren’t the first in their respective roles; Nathan Price and Ted Lewis were the first to voice their characters. Blaustein and Stuart are easily the more iconic voices, however, so I’m going to focus on them.

Lillis is also the original voice of Misty, as well as Jigglypuff, though she has a pretty prolific career in anime voice acting outside of Pokemon; her performance of Jessie really cements her as an abrasive, stuck-up witch who constantly sounds like she’s talking down to everyone; you can practically hear the sneer in her voice, it really is something.

Eric Stuart you may know as Brock or perhaps Seto Kaiba, or perhaps as Meta Knight from Kirby: Right Back at Ya! Or maybe you know him from his music career. Either way, you know that he gave James that sissy, foppish charm that we all know and love.

Maddie Blaustein… She was easily the most talented of the bunch here, and that’s really saying something. She was a woman of a thousand voices, to the e point where you’d never know she was voicing someone unless you saw her name in the credits. Like, can you believe she was Solomon Moto and Sartorious in the Yu-Gi-Oh franchise? Or Omega in Sonic 06? She was one of the greats, and as such is it any shock she delivered the best performance possible to the sneaky little wise guy mascot of the bumbling trio? Her presence is definitely sorely missed even today.

Of course, these three really made the characters who they were, but they did eventually get replaced, and while I don’t think Michele Knotz as Jessie, Jimmy Zoppi as James, or Carter Cathcart as Mewoth are bad by any means – they still manage to give great performances and keep the characters lovable  as ever – I do think that it really is hard to live up to the iconic originals, especially in Blaustein’s case.

Motivation/Goals: Team Rocket are introduced as menacing, competent criminals very early on in the anime, with the same goal as any Team Rocket member would have: stealing Pokemon. Of course, after their fated encounter with Ash and the witnessing of his Pikachu’s incredible power, they become single-mindedly obsessed with nabbing Ash’s Pokemon pal and using him for their own nefarious purposes, and the rest is history. Of course, Team Rocket occasionally finds time to look for other goals, such as getting food or money, but most of the time they just try and find new ways to steal Pikachu and fail at doing it.

Personality: Their personalities are really what sets them apart and makes them so interesting. Jessie, for instance, is definitely the more evil of the three; she’s willing to keep going at Team Rocket goals even when there’s no need, while her teammates are far more willing to just abandon stealing Pokemon if better opportunities arrive. Jessie can be callous and cruel, she has an extremely short temper, she’s loud and brash, but even with all that she truly does love her teammates. Even Wobbuffett. Jessie really epitomizes “jerk with a heart of gold.”

James is flamboyant and just as willing to take part in evil schemes to steal Pokemon, but out of everyone in Team Rocket James is easily the nicest guy. He’s sweet and doting to his Pokemon, he has quite a few morals, and he has a lot of the more genuinely compelling emotional moments. All of this also leads into him being probably the smartest and most level-headed of the group, for what that’s worth anyway.

Meowth is snarky and loud, but he has a lot of depths, much like his colleagues. I mean, this guy taught himself how to talk (at the cost of being able to learn moves like Pay Day), so he’s gotta be at least a little smart, right? WELL… while Meowth does have some smarts, especially street smarts since he grew up on the mean streets of Hollywood, Meowth is also the looniest of the three if you can believe that. Have you perhaps seen the numerous fantasies of Giovanni doing something ludicrous with some random Pokemon? Guess who is the person responsible for thinking most of those up. Go on, guess.

There are things all three members of the group share: all three are incredibly friendly to the point where they’re only villains because of their loyalty to Giovanni; they’re as likely to be friendly with Ash and the gang as to be trying to steal his Pokemon, o the point where they’ve not only helped him, but have directly had a hand in saving the world on quite a few occasions. All three are pretty hilarious in their ineptitude as well, and all three are actually very competent at disguising themselves. They all tend to be pretty hammy as well. All in all, the three are really enjoyable and fun for what they are.

Final Fate: Whenever these three do evil, there is only one fate in store for them: blasting off. Still, they always end up somehow coming back in the next episode to cause a ruckus.

Best Scene: In a series as long as this, it’s hard to single out one scene among the hundreds of thousands of scenes they’ve had. Still, the entirety of “Go West, Young Meowth” counts as one for Meowth, culminating with him taking out a Persian by himself, as well as Jessie and James coming to Meowth’s aid before said duel.

Best Quote: I hardly think it is possible to overstate how good their original motto is:

Jessie: Prepare for trouble!

James: And make it double!

Jessie: To protect the world from devastation.

James: To unite all people within our nation.

Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love!

James: To extend our reach to the stars above!

Jessie: Jessie!

James: James!

Jessie: Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!

James: Surrender now, or prepare to fight. note

Meowth: Meowth, that's right!

From 1998 to 2006, this was how they announced their arrival on the scene, and while they’d go through other mottos and songs and whatnot over the years, nothing can top the original.

Final Thoughts & Score: Team Rocket are some of the most memorable antagonists in all of anime, despite amounting to what would just be nameless, faceless mooks in the game series the anime is based on. Honestly, it’s hard to imagine the anime without them involved, and even when they introduce more serious villains they rarely ever match up to Team Rocket. Hell, even other members of Team Rocket fail to live up to their entertaining standard; does anyone remember Atilla and Hun, does anyone actually care about Butch and Cassidy?

In fact, it’s pretty easy to say that in many ways these three are even more interesting than Ash. You see, we know from the start Team Rocket is going to fail in whatever evil schemes they have going on in any given episode, so unlike when Ash inevitably loses the championship, Team Rocket losing is expected, making their victories sweeter as opposed to Ash’s victories feeling like inevitable buildup to failure. It also helps that unlike Ash, all three have pretty interesting, compelling, and even tragic backstories, with Jessie following in her mother’s footsteps as a Rocket grunt, James fleeing from an abusive arranged marriage and tossing aside a life of riches for crime, and Meowth learning how to talk by itself and growing up on the streets. Team Rocket just ends up feeling so much more interesting and fleshed out than the main character of the show, though considering the amount of screentime they get they easily could be considered main characters.

Jessie, James, and Meowth across the board get 8/10. I’d definitely say it’s the high end of 8, but they are held back a bit by some truly dumb decisions they’ve made over the years, dumb decisions to rival Ash’s, such as the frequent letting go of Pokemon the audience has likely grown to know and love, with Arbok and Weezing being the most offensively egregious example. Still, this gang has stuck around for over 20 years, and the show and series at large just wouldn’t feel the same without their continued presence. Good, bad, it doesn’t matter; Team Rocket’s iconic trio is a core part of the franchise, and their impact can’t be ignored.

“Meowth, that’s right!”

[nadziejastar]

Familiar Sound: The Distant Train Whistle

They fell quiet for a bit. Xion realized that this might be the first time she had been alone with him like this. “You know, Axel…”

“Hmm?”

“When I sit here watching the sunset with you guys, I get the strangest feeling…like I used to watch the sunset and talk about nothing with someone else.” She’d never brought this up before; her gaze dropped as she gathered her thoughts. “…I get the same feeling when I look at the sea.”

Then she reached into her pocket and took out a shell.

“When I stand at the water’s edge, listening to the waves…it’s almost like I can hear other voices.”

You know how Day 50 is called “Familiar Sound”? Well, for Roxas and Xion it was the sound of the waves. It was an important sound to both of them because it’s what Sora and Kairi heard while watching the sunset together on Destiny Islands. And it’s why seashells became their keepsake.

Then, from the distance, Roxas heard a train whistle.

“There it is!” he cried, running up to the edge.

“…Roxas?” Hayner said quietly from behind him.

“The train! It’s here!”

There it was, slowly passing before him. Unlike the trains that went around town, this one was violet. He could see through the windows in the very front to where the driver should have been—and no one was there.

For Axel, the familiar sound seemed to be the sound of a train, especially a train whistle. The novels have this recurring theme with certain sound effects happening in the distance. And of course, the train whistle is associated with the ghost train and Sunset Hill.

“You were never supposed to exist.”

That’s what Naminé had said to him. He wasn’t supposed to exist? He was Axel’s best friend?

My best friends are Hayner, Pence, and Olette, right?

The clock tower bells rang in their enormous clamor. He could hear a train whistle in the distance. Hayner and the others were chatting and laughing. And yet…it all felt like something happening far away. Roxas gazed at the low sun, still too bright, and tears sprang to his eyes.

Two days left of summer vacation.

—Restoration at 98%—

The distant train whistle only happens a couple times in the KH2 novel, and both times are during Roxas’s prologue. He heard it when he was thinking that he wasn’t supposed to exist. His friends were enjoying themselves, but he wasn’t. 

“Well, don’t worry. Today’s when it really begins anyway.”

“What does…?” Roxas looked puzzled.

“Everything. Here you are, out in the field, working for the Organization! From now on, you’re one of us.”

“Where it all begins…?” Roxas contemplated his ice cream bar.

“That stuff melts if you don’t eat it, y’know.”

“…Right.” Roxas took another bite.

The clock tower’s bell chimed, and a train sped away in the distance. This was Twilight Town, a place always between light and dark, and for now, this little hideaway within it still belonged only to Axel.

I think the distant train whistle means something similar with Axel: he was troubled by things that he couldn’t tell Roxas and Xion. This makes sense, since Roxas’s experiences in the data Twilight Town borrowed heavily from his time spent with Axel. The sound of the waves reminded Xion of how she used to watch the sunset with someone else. For Axel, the sound of a distant train probably reminded him of how he used to watch the sunset with someone else. There’s a distant train the day Roxas first started remembering things after being taken out for ice cream.

“When will you come back?”

“I dunno… When they let me, I guess. But when I do, we’ll grab ice cream again.”

“…Yeah.” 

Roxas’s eyes followed the train in the distance.

“Well, I gotta go back and get ready,” said Axel. “Lots of fun stuff to take care of.”

Before Axel left for Castle Oblivion, Roxas spotted a distant train. When Axel got up to leave, it looked similar to the scene where Xion got up when she said she was out of time. It was also right before he found the WINNER stick.

He sat on the ledge atop the clock tower, gazing absently at the sunset. No one was here.

They’re all gone…

A train sped into the distance, and beyond that, the sun dipped below the horizon.

“Roxas…?” He turned to find a black-haired girl standing there. 

“Xion… What happened to me?”

“You were sleeping,” she replied. “A long, long time.”

There was a distant train after Roxas woke up and was all alone. This is when Xion arrived and let him listen to the seashell. Again, the day is called “Familiar Sound”.

“Oh yeah, that city in the desert,” said Axel, and then the conversation paused again for the sake of ice cream. 

They heard a long train whistle in the distance.

“That Genie we met seemed really worried about his friend Al,” Xion remarked eventually. “But then he said he’d respect his friend’s decisions. I guess you can’t just jump in and do everything for them, even if you want to.”

Axel cocked his head in thought. He must have heard that somewhere, a long time ago, back when he was human.

Roxas peered at him curiously. “So then why did the Genie say he and Al were ‘inseparable’?”

There’s a distant train whistle just before they started talking about Aladdin and Genie being inseparable. This is when Axel said he didn’t have a best friend.

“But she was only supposed to treat me.”

Axel was just needling him, but Xion replied sincerely, “No, I wanted to thank both of you.”

The train blew its whistle in the distance.

“I hope we’re always together like this,” said Roxas.

Xion nodded. “Yeah… Me too.”

Axel scratched the back of his head. “What’s gotten into you two?”

There was a distant train whistle before Roxas said he wanted to be together forever, and Axel said that they’d never be apart as long as they remembered each other. 

The sun sank lower and lower as Axel watched, his mind wandering.

If he stared for too long, the image would burn itself into his eyes, visible even after his eyes were closed.

A phantom sun.

Someone had once told him why sunsets were red… Who was that?

Just before this, Axel was looking at the sunset, remembering that someone told him why sunsets were red. It’s implied that he used to watch the sunset with Isa. I think it probably happened on Sunset Hill, which is right next to the train tracks. 

“I’m like Roxas. Neither of us remembers anything. I wonder if we had so much in common before we were Nobodies…”

Axel had no answer for that. He had a guess, but he certainly couldn’t tell anyone about it. The Organization’s plans, the machinations he was involved in, and the time with Xion and Roxas—everything was starting to clash. He squinted into the sunset.

All of them were nothing but pawns to Organization XIII—well, to Xemnas, specifically. Only Axel and Saïx were trying to use him right back. But now…

The train sped away out of town with the lonely cry of the whistle. Xion and Axel both sat there, lost in thought, until finally Roxas arrived.

“Hey. Sorry I took so long.”

“You sure did,” Xion told him with a grin, slipping the seashell back in her pocket. “We finished our ice cream ages ago.”

Roxas sat down beside her. “Xigbar cut and run. I had to finish the mission on my own.”

“Sounds like you earned yourself the treat,” said Axel. Not wasting any more time, Roxas dug in. Axel pocketed the stick from his own ice cream.

“Xigbar is such a jerk!” Roxas complained between bites. As always, the trio talked about nothing and everything, laughing all the while.

There was a lonely whistle when Xion told Axel about her memories of watching the sunset, and asked Axel about his memories. He knew that her shell represented Sora and Kairi’s promise. Xion pocketed her shell, which was her keepsake. and Axel pocketed his ice cream stick, which was his keepsake. I also think the ice cream stick is the equivalent of Xion’s seashell. It reminds him of watching the sunset with someone in the past.

Since he was already overthinking things, though, Axel had to wonder if he wasn’t letting Roxas and Xion have too much influence on him. All these “friends” and “promises” were taking over his life. Almost as if he rejected his identity as a Nobody. That would definitely be considered abnormal for a member of Organization XIII.

“Well, I’m probably a lot more broken than she is,” Axel admitted, almost to himself, and looked at Roxas. Deep in thought, Roxas sat there and stared at nothing.

Roxas and Xion were always so dutiful. Loyal. Axel was the failure. And not just because he shirked missions—he was always plotting against the Organization along with Saïx.

The clock tower’s bells chimed the hour. A train sped away in the distance.

Day 172 is called “Sound of the Surf”. The title is obviously reminiscent of Day 50 “Familiar Sound”. There was another distant train when Axel was talking to Roxas after Xion collapsed. He was thinking about how “friends” and “promises” were taking over his life.

Axel gazed out at the sunset, as red as ever. That color still looked the same to him now as it had when he was human. Some things didn’t change even when you became a Nobody.

“I hope Xion wakes up soon…,” Roxas murmured.

That would be nice, Axel thought. If only the three of us could just waste our time talking and laughing together again…

Axel was also specifically remembering watching the sunset as a human on this day, too. It also seemed to be the same sunset in Twilight Town.

[queenofcats17]

Three Old Men Hunt Ghosts

So, @aceofintuition posted some doodles of various AU’s they have involving their and @pipesflowforeverandever ‘s Joey’s. So I decided to write the Buzzfeed Unsolved one. 

The man colloquially known as ‘Snowy’ Drew did not believe in ghosts. Not in the slightest. He liked things he could touch, things he could see. He liked things that were tangible. Ghosts didn’t really fall into that category. Unfortunately for him, the man who had dubbed himself his ‘best friend’ very much believed in ghosts. And a lot of other things that Snowy didn’t really put any stock in. ‘Gingie’ Drew was almost the polar opposite of Snowy. He was fair skinned where Snowy was dark, short where Snowy was tall, whimsical and fanciful where Snowy was practical and rational. Technically speaking, they shouldn’t have been friends. And, at first, they hadn’t been. They’d met at an animation conference. Both of them were in the animation industry and had that in common at the very least, as well as the fact that they were both named Joey Drew. At first, their opposing personalities had caused them to hate each other. Until, that is, they’d discovered one other thing they had in common. Their love for their children. As soon as they both found out the other had a child and would do anything for them, their hatred toward each other cooled, and they’d quickly become quite close friends. 

But that was in the past. Now it was the middle of the night and Snowy was at the wheel of his car, Gingie in the passenger seat, headed to some random location that Gingie was convinced was haunted. In the backseat was Norman Polk, who was along to record the whole experience. See, Gingie had gotten the idea that it would be fun to start a web series. His daughter, adopted daughter really, liked watching videos on YouTube and had come across a web series where two men discussed supernatural occurrences and true crime. Gingie had thought this would be a marvelous idea. Snowy didn’t mind the idea. He found true crime to be rather interesting, and it was pretty entertaining to watch Gingie get excited about the supernatural. 

“You just enjoy all the compliments you get in the comments.” Ana had said. She wasn’t wrong. Snowy didn’t mind all the comments about his attractiveness, as well as the ones about how cute Joy was. She’d been on a few episodes, but only the ones where he thought the content was appropriate. Gingie had brought on his granddaughter, Linda, a few times as well. Again, only when the content was appropriate, because Marvin had given Gingie a thorough talking to about what exactly Linda would be exposed to. 

“Gingersnap, remind me why we have to do this in the middle of the night,” Snowy said as they drove down the dirt path to the cave. Because of course it was a cave. 

“Well, you wouldn’t expect a ghost to just appear in the middle of the day, would you?” Gingie replied. How on Earth did he have this much energy?! It was almost midnight and they’d both gotten up at 6 that morning!

“It’s a cave. It’s always dark in a cave. They can’t tell the difference.” 

“Well, yes...” Gingie hesitated a bit. “But the time is important. The supernatural is stronger during the witching hour.” Snowy resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Yeah, sure, that checks out.” He muttered. 

A few minutes later they pulled up outside of the cave. They’d gotten permission to film in the cave, but there was still a guide from the park service waiting for them. The cave was, for the most part, undeveloped and thus rather dangerous. 

“Hello.” The park service employee waved wearily. They were a tired dark skinned 20-something dressed in a park uniform. Judging from the circles under their eyes, they were probably a pretty new hire. 

“Ah! You must be Ramirez!” Gingie scrambled out of the car, bounding up to shake the guide’s hand. They couldn’t help but smile a little at Gingie’s enthusiasm. 

“Um, yeah. That’s me.” They replied. “Are you guys the two Drew’s?” 

“Indeed we are!” Gingie grinned, shaking their hand excitedly. “I must say, it’s a pleasure to be here! Thank you so much for letting us film in the cavern!”

“Sorry we had to drag you out here so late,” Snowy said, walking up behind Gingie.

“It’s fine,” Ramirez assured him. “I’m used to being up this late anyway.”

“You in college?” Snowy asked as Gingie peered past their guide. 

“Yeah. I’m in my last year.” Ramirez nodded. “I’m working here part-time right now, but eventually I want this to be my permanent job.”

“That’s a rather noble ambition.” Gingie turned his attention back to Ramirez. “It’s very important to take care of the beauty that Mother Nature has given to us.”

“You really think so?” Ramirez smiled shyly. “My aunt told me it was stupid. But...my family doesn’t really talk to her anymore anyway.”

“Well, that was rude of her.” Gingie’s smile quickly turned to a frown. He soon launched into a motivational speech for the young park employee. Snowy went back to the car to check on Norman. The projectionist was unloading the camera and sound equipment from the trunk, doing quick tests to make sure everything was working the way it should. 

“Everything working?” Snowy asked, leaning down. 

“So far.” Norman nodded, picking up the main camera and hefting it onto his shoulder. 

“Thanks for sticking with us for this long,” Snowy said after a moment of silence. “We both really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem,” Norman replied. “If you both die horrific deaths, someone needs to record it.” 

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Snowy rolled his eyes. But Norman didn’t laugh. Snowy turned back to look at him. Norman just smiled at him. Snowy knew Norman was, in all likelihood, joking. But you could never quite tell with him.  

“Let’s, uh, let’s just go.” Snowy walked quickly towards the mouth of the cave. Norman hummed to himself, following. Gingie was still talking with Ramirez when Snowy and Norman got to them, both looking rather excited. 

“C’mon, Gingersnap.” Snowy grabbed Gingie by his collar. “Henry’ll have a heart attack if you suddenly adopt another kid.”

“I-I’m not trying to adopt them!” Gingie sputtered, his cheeks turning red. “We were simply talking!”

“Sure you were,” Snowy said. “That’s what you said with Francine too, and now you’re practically her dad.”

“You do have a tendency to adopt young people you like.” Norman agreed. 

“Not you too, Mr. Polk!” Gingie wailed. After a moment or two of bickering, they separated and got ready to do their intro. 

“Hello everyone!” Gingie waved at the camera. “This week, we’re investigating Echo Cave in our continuing quest to answer the question, are ghosts real? I must say, I’m rather excited!” 

“I’m just hoping I don’t get shit on by a bat.” Snowy shrugged. 

“In any case, let’s go!” Gingie beamed and started into the cave, followed by Snowy and Norman. Ramirez snorted a little as they followed the trio of men. They hadn’t been sure what to expect when their boss had told them they’d be escorting the hosts of a web series through the cave but it certainly hadn’t been this. Still, they were certainly interesting men.

As they got deeper, the light began to fade, prompting them to pull out their flashlights. Norman had a head mounted one, while the other three just had flashlights they were carrying. 

“So, what can you tell us about this place?” Snowy asked, looking back at them. Norman had begun recording by this point. 

“Well, it’s a naturally formed cave,” Ramirez said, shifting into tour guide mode. “For the most part, it’s just home to animals. Black bears, raccoons, squirrels. Things like that. Humans didn’t usually come here. But...” They paused for dramatic effect, shining their flashlight under their face. “There was one significant incident where humans visited this cave. It happened in the winter of 1856. Two men, explorers, were driven into this cave by a blizzard. They were ill prepared for the harsh conditions, and their supplies soon ran out.” Gingie was walking alongside them, watching with an eager look. Ramirez started to grin, but quickly cleared their throat and put on a serious expression. 

“They were in this cave for months, by themselves, trapped by the snow. Eventually, tensions began to rise. The two men began to turn on each other, convinced the other was out to get them. In the end, their hostilities boiled over, and they fought. Only one came out alive.” They lowered their voice. “And in the darkness of the cave, standing over the body of his friend, the victor’s hunger made itself known once more. It had been so long since he’d eaten. When other explorers found the cave, they found both men dead. The first from the fight, with great chunks of him ripped away. The second...from suicide. It appeared he was unable to cope with what he’d done. But no one was ever sure. They say his ghost haunts these caves, begging for forgiveness. Or maybe...Maybe he’s taken a liking to the taste of humans.” They leaned back, letting the words settle. 

“Oh, bravo!” Gingie tucked his flashlight under his arm so that he could applaud them. “That was wonderful!”

“You sure know how to tell a story, kid.” Snowy chuckled. 

“I didn’t go too far?” Ramirez smiled nervously. 

“No no! Not at all!” Gingie said. “It was very engaging!”

“Ghost stories aren’t really my thing, but you seemed like you were enjoying yourself, so I liked it.” Snowy agreed. Ramirez felt a bit of color rising to their cheeks at this praise.

“In all seriousness,” they cleared their throat. “Two explorers did get trapped in here by a blizzard, one killed the other, probably ate some of the other to survive, and then died. And people do say they see a man in 19th-century clothing wandering around here.”

“Which is why you wanted to come here.” Snowy looked pointedly at Gingie, who smiled sheepishly.

“I was hoping I could help but his soul to rest.” He admitted. “I brought supplies as well!” He began digging around in the bag he’d brought.

“We better not get possessed,” Snowy muttered. “Ana would kill me if I let myself be possessed.”

“My dear Snowy!” Gingie let out a horrified gasp. “I would never let something like that happen to you!”

“Do they get in situations where they might be possessed often?” Ramirez whispered to Norman, who snorted quietly. 

“More than you’d think.”

It didn’t take long before they’d reached the furthest point they could safely go. Ramirez told them when that was, gently tugging them back. 

“Alright!” Gingie brightened. “Well, now that we’re here, would you mind terribly if I brought out the spirit box?”

“I hate the spirit box.” Snowy wrinkled his nose in distaste.

“I know you do.” Gingie smiled apologetically as he pulled out the device. “So I won’t run it for too long.” Ramirez was about to ask why Snowy hated the spirit box. Then Gingie turned it on. And after a moment or two, they understood. The spirit box was loud and the constant switching of channels produced an irritating static. 

“Is there anyone here with us?” Gingie asked, his expression suddenly becoming serious. They all sat there in silence as the box kept switching channels. 

“If there is anyone here with us, could you tell me your name?”

Still nothing, but Ramirez could have sworn the air around them had gotten colder. They could see their breath in front of their face.

“Our guide has informed us that you were trapped here with your friend.” Gingie continued, his gaze firmly on the spirit box. “And that you killed your friend. Do you have anything to say about that?”

For a moment, nothing happened. Then a voice came out of the spirit box. 

“...erved it...”

“Could you repeat that?” Gingie said calmly. 

“He...deserved it...” A chill ran down Ramirez’s spine at the voice coming from the box. It was low, raspy, and full of rage. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be!

“That’s hardly a fair thing to say.” Gingie shook his head, a disappointed look on his face. 

"Pretty sure his only mistake was getting stuck here with you,” Snowy said with a snide smile. The air around them was only growing colder. Ramirez was beginning to shiver now, rubbing their hands on their arms. 

“You know...nothing...” The voice from the box growled. Ramirez could almost make out the figure of a man over the box. A haggard looking man dressed in 19-century clothing.

“Oh, I think I know quite a bit.” Gingie smiled sweetly. “Such as how to get rid of you.” The figure of the man solidified and went for Gingie’s throat. Ramirez shrieked and stumbled back, dropping their flashlight. All the lights in the cave went out, leaving Ramirez in darkness. They could hear the sounds of a struggle, as well as Snowy cursing. When the lights came back on, Norman was standing over them, holding out a hand to the park employee. 

“You alright?” He rumbled.

“I...There was a ghost.” They stammered as Norman pulled them to their feet. “There was a man! And he talked to Mr. Drew and- and-” 

“A ghost?” Gingie looked around wildly. “Where?” He was still in the same position he’d been before the lights had gone out. Snowy was in the same place as well, yawning and stretching. 

“I...I thought...” Ramirez stared at the space where they’d seen the ghost. They had seen a ghost, hadn’t they? It had to have been there. 

“You alright, kid?” Snowy asked. “You took a bit of a tumble there when the lights went out.” 

“I...I’m okay.” Ramirez nodded slowly. Maybe...Maybe they were just working too hard. 

Gingie and Snowy messed around in the cave for a little longer before they had all the footage they needed and Ramirez led them back out of the cavern. The men thanked them for their time and left in Snowy’s car. When the video eventually went up, Ramirez watched it and found no evidence of the ghost they thought they’d seen. Maybe they’d been imagining things. But something about Gingie’s smile as he and Snowy had left made them wonder. Oh well. They had other things to worry about. 

[per-ineptia-ad-astra]

Star Trek Gold Key #25: Dwarf Planet

Happy New Year everyone! 

Next episode still isn’t coming until the seventh, but while I was re-organizing my excessive amount of books I came across something and thought, hey, this might make for a fun holiday treat. Besides, I felt bad leaving you guys on a cliffhanger for so long. 

So this...

[ID: A photograph of a copy of Star Trek The Key Collection: Volume 4, with a cover showing Kirk, Spock and McCoy against a background of stars, with Sulu and Scotty in insets.] 

...this is one of my Gold Key comic collections. 

The Gold Key comics were the first Star Trek comics ever made, running for sixty-one issues from 1969-1979. What I have here are volumes three and four of a five-book collection of the comics put out back in 2004-2006, which actually only goes up to #43—the last two books were planned but never published.

Myself, I first found volume four here at a used bookstore not too long after I had first gotten into Star Trek. (I found volume three at another store quite awhile later. I apologize for not starting at the beginning here, but this is what I have. There’s no continuity anyway so don’t worry about that.) I was very much not prepared for what I was about to find inside.

For the thing about these comics is that they are incredibly and hilariously bad. The plots themselves wouldn’t always be out of place for Trek, but the combo of dodgy art, weird dialogue, and overall off-ness that gives the sense that the writers were working off a Wikipedia article about Star Trek instead of ever actually having seen the show, all adds up to a final product that doesn’t resemble Star Trek so much as a weird fever-dream version of Star Trek from an alternate dimension.

Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look.

[Image Description: A comic splash page titled STAR TREK: DWARF PLANET Part 1 showing Scotty, wearing a blue and white polka-dot loincloth, throwing rocks at a slimy green thing while saying, “What kind o’way is this for a lad like me to be dyin’--trampled by a hairy-legged—MICROBE!” The narration box at the top of the page says “Come along with the crew of the starship Enterprise as they race to solve the mystery of a world in which all life is rapidly shrinking to—oblivion!”]

Our issue for today, Dwarf Planet, opens with a splash page of Scotty in a spotted loincloth throwing rocks at a microbe, which I think gives you a pretty good idea of what we’re in for here.

[ID: A dark green Enterprise shuttle, landing on an empty airfield with a green field in the distance. The narration box reads, “Captain’s Log, Star Date 19:24:8—Lt. Uhura, Chief Comm-officer, has detected intelligent radio signals from the little explored area of space, sector 199-D!” Inside the ship Kirk is saying, “You were right, Lt. Uhura! There is advanced life on this planet! Mr. Spock and I will investigate!” while Uhura says, “With the captain’s permission, I’d like to accompany you!”]

The story itself, however, begins with an Enterprise shuttle—newly painted green, apparently—landing on this planet to investigate some intelligent radio signals. I don’t know why Uhura waited until they actually got down to the planet surface before asking if she could come with.

Anyway, they find a fully-built city, but it’s completely deserted, no one around. The only living thing are some bushes that turn out, upon closer examination, to actually be miniature trees. Kirk thinks this is weird, which is a bit judgmental of him. Maybe people on this planet just like their bonsai.

The mystery deepens when they find another city within a mile of the first—also abandoned, and much smaller than the first one. And I don’t mean smaller in terms of zoning. I mean the buildings are about two or three feet tall. Uhura speculates that there may have been multiple intelligent species of different sizes living on the planet, but there’s no sign of any of them now.

Kirk then recommends they split up, gang. He heads off into the countryside, where he finds a tiny rocketship that he assumes is a toy belonging to a child. Except it promptly flies off and returns with a bunch more ships, which trap Kirk with a net. He helpfully narrates all this as it’s happening.

[ID: A page of four panels showing Kirk being surrounded by small rockets which are firing weighted ropes at him, slowly driving him to the ground. First panel: “They’ve opened fire! Shooting heavy stranded wire!” Second panel: “They’re forming a net over me! I’m being captured by a pack of toy rockets!” Third panel: “Can’t break these things! And they’re pulling me down! ARRRRGGGGH!” Fourth panel: “One of them is landing! If I could only get my hands on the child who’s controlling these fantastic toys!”]

Thanks Kirk.

It’s not until the rockets land and open that Kirk finally realizes they’re not toys being operated by a child, but real miniature rockets being flown by tiny people, who shoot Kirk in the face with some paralyzing gas before he can get a message out over the communicator. One of the tiny people—speaking through an unexplained device on his forehead—introduces himself as General Kwy. I have no idea how to pronounce that.

[ID: Two panels showing Kirk laying on the ground while a small bald man in a red tunic and black pants stands on his chest. In the first panel he is saying, “You would like to say ‘I come to planet Kujal in peace! Why do you treat me so?’ Because you are a giant! And where one has come, others will follow!” In the second panel he says, “My people will become slaves to yours! Household pets or worse—sideshow freaks! Not while I live, giant! Never!”]

General Kwy has some weirdly detailed predictions about what’s going to happen if his people are discovered by ‘giants’ and he’s not having it. So he brings out a couple cranes to load Kirk onto a board, Gulliver’s Travels style,  and has him wheeled off to a third, even smaller, city.

[ID: Kirk laying on a wooden wheeled board in front of a dais covered cloth, where a woman sits on a gold chair next to General Kwy. The general is saying, “Madame President, I’ve brought the giant prisoner mentioned in my report!” Kirk is thinking, “A woman leader! A more advanced world than many!”]

Kirk is brought in front of Madame President, which Kirk reminds us is So Advanced. Madame President is a little nicer than General Kwy and orders Kirk to be de-paralyzed, but then reveals that Spock and Uhura have been captured also. And stowed under the bunting on the dais. No, I don’t know why.

Madame President lays down some backstory: there was only ever one species of people on the planet, which was once human-sized. They “were a happy world until sudden explosions rocked [their] sun with fantastic intensity.” Don’t you hate it when that happens?

[ID: A panel with a narration box saying, “But, in time, these ceased and life resumed as before! Until, one day...” Below, someone in a gray robe is approaching a woman sitting at an oversized table, talking into a large rotary phone. The person in the robe is saying, “We are growing smaller with every passing day!” The woman is saying, “Yes! It’s true! Others report the same! But why?”]

Yes! It’s true! Others are reporting the same, right now, on my giant rotary phone.

The shrinking kept happening, causing the next generation to have to build an entirely new city, and the next generation to do the same. Eventually they figured out that because of the sun explosions “some new radio waves have caused all living cells to shrink.” Sure. Anyway, looks like now their civilization is doomed because eventually they’re going to shrink out of existence. Bummer.

Uhura points out that the Enterprise could very easily move them all to another planet, but Madame President gives the standard answer for why we can never just use the easy solution, which is “no we love our planet so much we’re all gonna stay here even if it kills us.”

General Kwy wants to have the three of them executed straight away, but Madame President belays that and lets them all go sit and eat tiny food and talk while she figures out what to do with them.

[ID: Spock, Kirk and Uhura sitting among the small buildings eating and talking. Narration: “Later, as crowds watch from a distance...” Uhura: “How could they think of altering their sun even if they had the ships to reach it?” Spock: “Quite impossible! All the harnessed power of the inhabited worlds of the universe could not destroy—or even alter—a star!”]

All that harnessed power of the inhabited worlds couldn’t alter a star! It takes inexplicable space explosions to do that.

Since altering the star is out of the question, Kirk proposes making some kind of antidote or shielding to deal with the shrink rays. But to do that, they’d have to fly close to the sun to gather samples of the rays. I don’t know how you capture samples of radio waves but he seems confident. Little does he know, however, that the general has an “audio-magnifier” trained on the trio to eavesdrop on their plans, because just listening would be too easy.

Madame President is okay with this plan. Suspiciously, so is General Kwy, though he proposes that they leave a hostage to guarantee they don’t just escape. Which doesn’t work super well when the people in question have remote teleportation technology, but he doesn’t know that.

[ID: A very pale-looking Uhura leaning over Madame President and saying, “In that case, Madame President, I volunteer to be the hostage!” Madame President is saying, “I was hoping the woman among you would show that courage! Congratulations, Lieutenant!”]

As a woman, I was hoping the woman among you would show courage! Here on my advanced world, we like it when women show courage. Have I mentioned I’m a woman recently?

Uhura is often—though not always—quite distressingly pale in these comics. With the way it varies I’m not sure whether it was intentional whitewashing or just bad coloring. Or some awful combination of both, maybe.

With Uhura staying behind, Kirk and Spock prepare to leave, although not before General Kwy stops them to give them a container of fruit as a gift. Absolutely no one bothers to check that the box does indeed contain fruit. Surprise! It doesn’t. It contains a couple of stowaway soldiers assigned to sabotage the mission. Because Kwy still thinks the humans want to make slaves of them all. Or something.

Part Two begins with the Enterprise approaching the sun, as Kirk says that they have no way of knowing whether the ship’s anti-radio shielding will stop them all from getting shrunk. That seems like something they should really have made sure of before doing this. Oh well, too late now.

As they get close to the sun, Sulu tries to raise the radio energy analyzer dish—it’s a thing, apparently—but it won’t go up. Apparently there’s a mechanical problem that necessitates someone go outside and unjam the thing. Even in the future, someone still has to occasionally go personally hit things until they work again.

Luckily, Scotty’s on the case, showing up all dressed in special anti-radio foil before Kirk even has a chance to give any orders. Kirk is a little miffed about this since he’s supposed to be the captain and all but Scotty doesn’t have any time for that.

Scotty struggles with the radar dish while everyone stands around watching and making helpful comments.

[ID: Four panels showing Scotty struggling to lift a radar dish on the top of the ship while Kirk, Spock and McCoy watch on a viewscreen. In the first panel, Scotty is thinking, “But it must be doin’ the job—or those rays would be shrinkin’ me already! Now to get the dish up into position! UGGGGGH!” Second panel, Kirk: “It’s jammed all right! Look at him struggling! I wish we could communicate with him!” Spock: “Our radio signals can’t get through that foil, either, of course!” Third panel, narration, as Scotty raises the dish with a ‘whooosh!’ and ‘klang!’: “Finally, with one mighty effort...” Kirk, from offscreen: “He made it! Nice work! Even you have to admit it, Bones!” McCoy, from offscreen: “Why, Captain? He’ll be telling us all about it for months! Ha-ha-ha!” Fourth panel, showing Scotty collapsed on the top of the ship, McCoy: “Hold it! Something’s wrong! He’s collapsed!” Kirk: “Emergency! Break out another foil outergear! I’m going after him!”]

I wasn’t aware that Scotty and Bones had any particular rivalry, but this writer seems to think otherwise. 

Anyway, as you can see, Scotty promptly collapses, and since as we know there are only about ten people on the whole Enterprise Kirk has to personally go out after him. Instead of Scotty, though, he finds an empty suit.

[ID: Kirk, wearing a foil spacesuit and holding up another spacesuit, seemingly empty, while McCoy looks on and Spock leans over the suit with his hand to his ear. Kirk: “This is exactly what I found! But how could--” Spock: “Shhhhhh! Listen! Do you hear it?”]

I don’t know why, but that picture of Spock with his hand to his ear is cracking me up.

As you can probably guess if you’ve been paying any amount of attention to anything, Scotty done got shrunk. Apparently the radar dish tore a hole in the protective foil. Don’t design your radar dishes with sharp edges, folks. Since Scotty was so close to the sun at the time, he got a heckton of radiation (that’s a scientific term), so he’s still shrinking. In fact, Spock speculates that Scotty might quickly be reduced to microscopic size, meaning that “the very bacteria in the air will menace him as much as a prehistoric mammoth would us!”

An odd choice of metaphor, but we can’t have Scotty be menaced by mammoth bacteria, so they rig up a sterilized environment for him.

[ID: First panel, Spock and Kirk are looking at a glass dome with a tube going into it. Narration: “Full technical facilities of the starship are put to work on the problem and shortly...” Spock: “Under that dome is a complete antiseptic atmosphere! The ‘breather’ tube circulates sterilized air!” Kirk: “A microbless world! That should do it!” Second panel, McCoy is holding up a miniature Scotty wearing a blue handkerchief around his waist. McCoy: “I’ll say one thing, Scotty—that kerchief looks better wrapped around you than it ever did in my pocket!” Scotty: “And what’ll I be wearin’ next—a speck o’ dust for a fur coat?”]

This one’s for you, Scones shippers. I...guess. (???)

Luckily for Scotty it doesn’t take long to identify the mysterious radio energy, as someone helpfully announces over the intercom.

[ID: First panel, McCoy is standing next to the dome and looking off to side, listening to an announcement from the intercom. Narration: “Painful minutes tick away as Scotty continues shrinking..” Intercom: “Attention! We have identified the mystery radio energy!” McCoy: “Did you hear, Scotty? We’re half-way home!” Second panel, McCoy is looking into the dome, now empty with the handkerchief huddled at the bottom. Narration: “And then the dread moment...” McCoy: “He’s gone! Yet I know he’s still in there—too small for the eye to see!”]

Unluckily for Scotty, the two little soldiers have arrived on the scene, and take the opportunity to fire on the breather tube. McCoy quickly captures them and puts them away in convenient storage box, which is just an empty box with ‘storage’ written on it.

[ID: McCoy putting two miniature soldiers into a box labeled ‘Storage.’ McCoy: “We’ll settle with you later!”]

He seals the tube with a bandage, but it’s too late—down in the land of microbes, a germ has gotten in.

[ID: First panel, Scotty is facing off against a large green eyeless worm-like thing. Scotty: “Glory be! A microscopic monster! Some germ that broke through the sealed system!” Monster: “EEEYAWWWRRRR!” Second panel, the monster lashes out its tongue at Scotty, who narrowly dodges under it. Scotty: “Missed me! But how long can I keep this little dance goin’?” Monster: “UNNGAWWRRR!”]

Sure, that’s what germs look like. Why not.

As promised by the splash page, Scotty has to engage in some germ warfare, using some microscopic dirt boulders that also got in as ammunition. It’s thrilling. Truly.

With the germ monster defeated, Scotty gets retrieved by McCoy, who’s wearing some sweet micro-specs.

[ID: First panel, Scotty is being lifted by a thin pointed silver rod. Scotty: “I’m caught! Feel like a whale being harpooned! No—more like a sardine! But what’s doin’ it?” Second panel, Spock looks on as McCoy, wearing goggles with a giant scope in one eye, lifts the rod. Narration: “And, in the world of ‘giants’...” Spock: “Are you sure you’ve got him, doctor?” McCoy: “Yes! I can see him clearly through these micro-specs! He’s struggling like a demon!”]

They stick him under the newly invented anti-shrink ray, which hasn’t been tested because there’s NO TIME, but it works because of course it does. Everyone’s very happy about this.

[ID: The Enterprise flying away from the sun with a ‘fwooosh!’ while people onboard exclaim “Hurrah!” “Yahoooo!” and “Eeeyowwww!”]

Eeyowwww, indeed.

[ID: First panel, Spock and Kirk watching a small Scotty gesturing. Spock: “Listen! He’s trying to tell us something!” Kirk: “The first report by a human returned from the land of microbes!” Second panel, Scotty: “--I said, ‘Get me some clothes, mon! I’m poppin’ out of this silly thing!” Spock: “Ha-ha-ha!” Kirk: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”]

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Yes, that’s Spock laughing. I guess “Spock doesn’t laugh” wasn’t covered in the, I’m guessing, three sentence summary of Star Trek that the writers of this had to go on.

Anyway, they go back to the planet and tell Madame President that they’re going to deliver the anti-shrink rays so the population can be restored to proper size, although ‘proper size’ is not the size they’ve been used to being all their lives so one wonders if they really want that, but, eh, who cares. With General Kwy’s treachery exposed, Madame President has concocted a special punishment for him: he’ll be the last one on the whole world returned to full size. That’ll show him.

A happy ending (?), but of course we have to wrap up with something pithy.

[ID: Kirk sitting in the captain’s chair while Scotty and Spock stand nearby. Scotty: “--And I’ll tell you one thing, I’ll never make fun of another man’s size again!” Spock: “Experience is a great teacher!” Kirk: “Teacher? This kind of experience is a full professor!”]

Well, they tried.

[emperor-uncarnate]

My Personal Take on a Sonic Movie

Somehow I knew I’d eventually end up doing something like this. With mixed feelings on the new trailer I had to ask myself what I would do if faced with the task of putting together a Sonic movie myself. Grab a chili dog because this might be a long read:

Before I get started, know that I’d make it fully animated. I am of the belief that some things just cannot translate to live action without losing too much of what makes them cool. Sonic with his weird little outfit, chunky cones of quills, and single giant eyeball can’t not be cartoonish. No two ways about it.

The film opens with some small animals hanging out in Green Hill Zone just doing what they do. Seems peaceful enough until a large Badnik swoops in and swallows up some of the unsuspecting critters. The menacing robot is about to haul its animal prisoners away when a blue blur rushes to their rescue. Sonic triumphantly chases the Badnik down, wrecks it, and frees the captured animals trapped inside. After showcasing what his great speed is capable of, the chase/fight scene leaves Sonic at a vantage point from which he can see where the animals were being taken: Robotropolis... aaand... title screen. 

Cut to a bustling urban area styled to look like 90′s San Francisco. People are out and about living their lives under a summer sun. No trace of animal life in sight besides pigeons and pets. This is where we’re introduced to our human lead who we’re going to call Chris (because I don’t care to put thought into it and he can be named after Sonic X’s Chris or Christian Whitehead) who is spending his morning getting ready for work. He can still be played by James Marsden, that’s fine. Anyway Chris meticulously puts himself together for the day in a suit and tie, indicating he’s a real clean-cut, straight-laced guy. The news on his television playing in the background is going on and on about one Doctor Ivo Robotnik and the rapid expanse of his empire. Robotnik is established by the broadcast as a genius inventor of artificial intelligence and advanced robotics who defected from the human civilization to begin his own fully-mechanical one.

Chris heads off to work where we learn he is an agent of the Guardian Unit of Nations (G.U.N.) and is being briefed for a mission with his covert team. With Robotnik’s growing forces posing a threat to the human population, G.U.N. intends to infiltrate one of Robotnik’s island settlements and figure out what he’s up to. Disguised as a team of nature photographers, Chris and his fellow agents travel to the series of islands Robotnik controls and begins their search for one of his secret laboratories. 

It isn’t long before Chris’ team is ambushed by a squad of Robotnik’s mechanical soldiers. The agents are easily subdued and captured by the more heavily-armed robots but Sonic arrives in time to save Chris. Though the rest of his team is captured, Chris is rescued and passes out from exhaustion or getting hit in the head or whatever.

He wakes up some time later to discover a small two-tailed fox watching over him. Initially startled to discover an anthropomorphic creature speaking English, Chris explains he did know about talking animals existing outside of the human civilization but he’d just never met one before. So yeah, this isn’t a story about Sonic traveling to the real human world or of a real human traveling to Sonic’s world; this is a place where animal people and people-people already exist together but almost never cross paths mostly due to geography. Humans have their cities while the hedgehogs and foxes and whatever else live in the wilderness or in small communities. 

Sonic the Hedgehog and Miles “Tails” Prower introduce themselves. Although Sonic was the one to actually rescue Chris it was Tails who got Sonic to stick around and wait to make sure Chris woke up alright. Sonic’s attitude comes across as impatient, not really caring much about Chris and instead desiring to speed off and continue his mission. Tails, however, is curious and compassionate to Chris who turns out to be banged up but well enough to walk. 

Chris is given the chance to introduce himself too but chooses not to reveal he’s actually a G.U.N. agent. He keeps up the charade that he’s just a simple photographer and it turns out to be a safe call: As it happens, Sonic and Tails are not crazy about G.U.N. and its methods. The two accuse G.U.N. of polluting the environment and stealing land from their animal friends. This gives us the sense that while G.U.N. isn’t villainous like Robotnik, it is in no way an ally of nature. Chris feels guilty as he’d never considered what the humans were doing that negatively affected the animal folk around the world. 

When Chris learns Sonic and Tails mean to go after Robotnik he offers to join them on their journey. Sonic resists, not wanting to be slowed down by a human, but Chris convinces them he needs to find out what Robotnik is up to so he can warn his fellow humans. Tails uses his little brother ability to guilt trip his honor-bound big brother Sonic into accepting Chris and the three set off together. Since Chris can’t move like a supersonic hedgehog or a flying fox they head towards Sonic and Tails’ home where another mode of transportation awaits them.

Meanwhile, Robotnik makes his grand entrance and introduces himself to the squad of undercover G.U.N. agents his foot soldiers captured earlier. The agents assure Robotnik holding them for ransom will be fruitless but the scheming villain states he has more significant plans for them. The scene ends with an attendant of the flamboyant doctor informing him “another one has been located.” You might be thinking that’s referring to a Chaos Emerald and to that I say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Back to Sonic and company as they encounter some lesser Badniks... this is where your Crabmeats and your Buzz Bombers come in. Sonic and Tails bust them up (though Tails lags behind a little and is upset he needed Sonic to pick up the slack) and free the animals sealed within, getting Chris to ask why Robotnik would create such machines. The duo expresses that it is because Robotnik (who Sonic mockingly refers to as “Eggman”) must be looking for something and that sending Badniks out into the world is his way to find it. This is when we learn of Robotnik’s roboticization technology that changes animals into robot animals. This scene also serves to show a little more of how Sonic and Chris’ personalities clash; Sonic is carefree, hasty, and won’t hesitate to poke fun at Chris as he struggles to keep up. Sonic’s teasing Chris to speed up while Chris is advising Sonic to slow down now and again.

Eventually the trio makes it to the small hanger that houses the Tornado. They intend to use the rocket-boosted biplane to make way to Robotnik’s hidden lab (though Sonic reiterates he’d prefer running) but they are cut off by an obnoxious intruder. Knuckles the Echidna causes a ruckus outside that prompts a quick tussle with Sonic. The blue hedgehog’s speed clashes with the almost comically formidable strength of the red echidna while they argue. Apparently Sonic’s conflict with the Badnik at the very beginning of the movie drew Knuckles’ attention away from the Master Emerald, a hulking jewel of immeasurable importance he was supposed to be protecting, and it is stolen by an unknown thief as a result. Sonic insists it was Knuckles’ own fault for not keeping a closer eye on the Master Emerald but the thick-skulled echidna won’t listen. While they both believe Robotnik to be the culprit it doesn’t stop them from trading blows.

They slug it out until a new Badnik arrives and interrupts them with whirring chainsaws and blazing flamethrowers. This destructive robot clearly made for deforestation puts up a good fight but is ultimately taken down by Team Sonic thanks to Tails’ engineering prowess coming through in the clutch. Between that and getting a closer look at the Tornado, Chris is impressed that such a young fox could have such an impressive intellect. He notes that it is not common knowledge among humans that the animal folk could be so smart. Apparently the humans see the animal people as more animal than people, but this isn’t news to Team Sonic. It seems they’d always been disregarded by humankind or otherwise seen as uncivilized. What racists.

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Chris talk things out and piece together some information to get an idea of what Robotnik’s after: the Chaos Emeralds. According to Knuckles there are six Chaos Emeralds that are linked to the Master Emerald and they contain mysterious powers even Knuckles himself isn’t aware of. Chris notes that Robotnik’s recent increase in military fortitude may be due to his possession of one or more of these Chaos Emeralds as power sources. 

When Knuckles says he might know the location of a Chaos Emerald, the gang decides to split up. The Tornado was conveniently damaged in the fight against the last Badnik so Tails and Chris stay behind to repair it. Sonic and Knuckles volunteer to head into the mountains with the hopes of recovering a Chaos Emerald from a temple there.  Elsewhere, Doctor Robotnik gazes down at the five Chaos Emeralds it turns out he’s already collected. He sends a group of Badniks to the mountains to recover the sixth Chaos Emerald he’s located (not knowing Sonic and Knuckles are already on their way there) while he gathers his G.U.N. prisoners for an experiment. Here he reveals his roboticization machine had previously only worked on animals but its latest iteration could also affect humans. Robotnik activates the machine and the G.U.N. agents are painfully converted into subservient robots one by one.

Tails and Chris have some downtime they spend venting. Tails is discouraged because he’s not as good a fighter and still needs Sonic to protect him. Chris reminds Tails that one, he’s still a child and will become stronger as he grows up more, and two, that his brains are a much more valuable asset anyway. Then Chris himself gripes about Sonic being right about him needing to loosen up, and Tails tells him it’s not so bad to wing it and take risks sometimes. It’d be cool if this was also where Tails got to telling Chris about how he first met Sonic. You know, for exposition. 

Cut to the mountains where we get an opportunity to see the fun ways Sonic and Knuckles travel up the steep cliffs using their powers. They’ll also have a chance to fight the big ass flying Badnik Robotnik sent before they do indeed find a Chaos Emerald, perhaps one that’s not green. I want Sonic to ask something like “if it’s an Emerald, why isn’t it green?” so Knuckles can say “not all sapphires are blue” or something to that effect. I imagine Knuckles to be a little dense but not unintelligent, if that makes any sense.

Sonic and Knuckles return to find Robotnik himself patiently waiting for them. Having already ensnared Tails and Chris, Robotnik offers their freedom in exchange for the last Chaos Emerald. Knuckles accuses Robotnik of stealing the Master Emerald, which he scoffs at and denies. Robotnik also announces that he knows Chris is really a G.U.N. agent, much to the surprise of Team Sonic. I think this scene should also briefly address Sonic and Robotnik’s dealings in the past: Sonic’s destroyed some of Robotnik’s machines before this moment but he’s never gotten the chance to battle Robotnik himself. As it stands, Sonic’s barely on the mad doctor’s radar and he’s presently seen only as a minimal threat.

After agreeing to the exchange and getting Tails and Chris back, Sonic makes a reckless move to go after the Chaos Emerald and runs straight into a trap. Robotnik captures Sonic and ferries him and the last Chaos Emerald back to Robotropolis while Tails and Knuckles are left with Chris. Tails feels hopeless without Sonic around and Knuckles won’t trust Chris since he was outed as a secret G.U.N. agent. All seems lost until Chris admits his guilt and apologizes in an emotional rant. He promises that if they can beat Robotnik he’ll do whatever it takes to get humankind to be more environmentally not shitty to the animal folk. The genuine nature of his speech sways both Tails and Knuckles who fire up the Tornado and get ready for action. The three of them are dead set on getting Sonic back and keeping Robotnik from using the Chaos Emeralds. The forests and jungles slowly turn to wastelands which in turn become rusted industrial parks as far as the eye can see. The Tornado zooms into the polluted skies of Robotnik’s manmade nation using some stealth modifications Chris was able to put in place. The spy tech begins to fail as they get close, however, and Robotnik scrambles a pack of fighters to shoot them down upon noticing them. Tails and Knuckles hold them off in some aerial combat while Chris crash lands the Tornado into the heart of Robotnik’s lair. 

Sonic is in locked in some kind of sciencey tube (which is busy scanning his DNA and designing Metal Sonic... but we’ll save that for the sequel) until he’s broken out and the four heroes are reunited. Robotnik defends the six Chaos Emeralds he’s collected and villain-monologues his plans to use them with his roboticization machine to turn everyone on the planet into robots. Perhaps Robotnik will rant a little about the shortcomings of organic existence and why he believes machines will be the superior form of life on the planet, yadda yadda.

Getting Sonic free is a small victory but now the quartet of protagonists is cornered by Robotnik and the roboticized G.U.N. agents. Chris reminds Sonic he can’t destroy the robot agents if there’s any chance they can be transformed back into flesh and blood, causing Sonic to have to learn his lesson and not rush without thinking into scrapping them. He takes some of Chris’ advice from earlier in the movie and coordinates rounding the agents up in a slower, safer fashion... somehow. Doesn’t matter, the point is that Sonic learns something over the course of the movie. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles start fighting Robotnik as he pilots a giant mech suit resembling a modernized Death Egg Robot. Tails tinkers with something (insert ‘tiny character with giant guns gag’ here), Knuckles smashes shit, and Sonic literally runs circles around the thing but they can’t fend off such an imposing boss for long. This is where Chris takes Sonic’s advice and attempts to do something uncharacteristically heedless and batshit crazy to win. I’m thinking he gets hold of the contraption containing the Chaos Emeralds and flings it at the Death Egg Robot, causing them to become unstable and explode. The six Chaos Emeralds scatter to the winds in a big rainbow burst that starts causing the whole place to go down in flames. Actually, wait, make it so Knuckles catches one Chaos Emerald (for later).

The roboticized agents regain their free will with the core of Robotropolis failing and board a transport being hotwired by Tails. Chris falls down an opening in the floor into an abyss but Sonic swipes the Chaos Emerald from Knuckles and takes off at full speed to catch him. The Chaos Emerald glows and Sonic’s speed increases to the point where he looks like he’s boosting. He manages to be fast enough to reach Chris and save him from falling to his demise but they both wind up being trapped by the remainder of the building’s collapse. Sonic and Chris close their eyes as they’re about to be crushed but open them to find they’ve been magically transported to safety. They look down to see the Chaos Emerald’s glow fade and can only assume its power was what saved their lives. 

In the aftermath of the battle, Tails is using the Chaos Emerald in Team Sonic’s inventory to track the other ones. Sonic, Knuckles, and Chris are rebuilding the Tornado’s hangar. Sonic is glad to know the roboticized agents are underway to be returned to normal. Knuckles laments the Master Emerald was nowhere to be found in the ruins of Robotropolis. Chris is explaining what action he’ll take upon his return to G.U.N. headquarters that will improve relations between human and animal kind. Team Sonic is cool with that gesture and they thank Chris as their new (and respected) ally. 

Chili dogs is what’s for dinner and everything seems swell until Tails suddenly draws everyone’s attention to his tracking device. According to its data, there aren’t five Chaos Emeralds left to find but six. There were seven Chaos Emeralds total all along but neither Knuckles nor Robotnik knew that (this is our hint at Super Sonic’s appearance in the sequel and a reference to the fact that there were only six Chaos Emeralds in the first game).

Speaking of sequel, the last scene before the credits will be Doctor Robotnik miraculously aboard a space station hidden in shadow. The station is under construction and resembles a Death Egg in progress. Very Revenge of the Sith. His assistant will say something something and with a crazed look in his eye he’ll be like “No, from now on... call me Eggman” and embrace Sonic’s name for him. This will mark a shift in his motivation moving forward: the only thing he wants next to world domination itself is defeating that pesky blue hedgehog.

But yeah, there’s got to be an after credits scene, right? Cut to the Master Emerald being carted away by none other than Nack the Weasel (Fang the Sniper if you’re nasty). 

I imagine the sequel will have Team Sonic reuniting with Chris and a newly introduced Amy Rose (the classic design) to storm the Death Egg and take on Eggman once again. Sonic will have a high-speed duel with Metal Sonic while Tails and Knuckles square off against Nack, who has been hired by Eggman. Metal Sonic uses the Master Emerald to become a raging monster but Sonic uses the seven Chaos Emeralds to become Super Sonic and whoop Metal’s ass. I guess during all this Chris will tango with Eggman himself in some kind of human versus human fight (which somehow seems blasphemous in Sonic media). Amy’s there for comic relief. I’m gonna stop myself here before I do a whole ‘nother one of these hypothetical story posts. And then a third one following the events of Sonic Adventure. And a fourth one following Sonic Adventure 2. 

THE END

[ollyarchive]

Olly Alexander Just Wants to Be Straight with You

BY

BRENNAN CARLEY

PHOTOGRAPHS BY

ALEX RESIDE

The Years & Years frontman is back with a new single, a new hair color, and a new outlook on straight men.

Olly Alexander walks into GQ's photo studio and removes his hat, revealing a shock of brightly dyed red hair. Whether that means something to you or not depends on how familiar you are with and fanatic about the British singer's incredibly popular band, Years & Years. The trio's already put out one incredible album (2015's Communion), picked up fans like Katy Perry, and are now gearing up for their sophomore project, coming this summer and anchored by the just-released "Sanctify", which chronicles Alexander's experience sleeping with and falling for a straight man. It's an effortless synth-pop song with vivid religious imagery, a sticky chorus, and cheeky lyrics like "You don't have to be straight with me / I see what's underneath your mask," which is sort of Years & Years' sweet spot: Just when you think you have them figured out, they take you to a deeper place than you thought pop music could go.

Alexander, who's 27, is also known both for his acting work (you may have seen him on Skins) and for his outspokenness as a member of the gay community (his 2017 BBC documentary, Growing Up Gay, is a phenomenal watch). Boyish in appearance but confident in presentation, Alexander lounges in a windowless green room in lower Manhattan, fielding our questions about self-care, new music, and—yes—straight men.

GQ: When did you start working on the album? Olly Alexander: It was September 2016. We had finished up the majority of our touring. We were gonna take a break, and I...didn't take a break. I just started working on the second album. I did take like three weeks where I just deliberately did nothing and read books and stuff at home. But I also went to Taiwan and Bali by myself. It was a really good trip. It was fun.

I love being alone. [A solo vacation's] not for everybody, but I just like how you can do your own thing at your own time. You don't have to give a shit about anyone else's preferences, what they want to do. And you make friends and stuff.

Have you always liked being alone? Solitude is very restorative for me, especially because I spend so much time around other people and performing to people. And when you're on tour, you're sharing a bus with 20 people.

How did you handle needing solitude on the road? It's tough because you're constantly traveling, and you're in this whirlwind with no stability. I definitely got better at creating my own personal alone time within the company of lots of other people. It would be like, "Don't talk to me. I'm reading my book. I'm inside my bunk on my tour bus, and it's like literally a coffin." No one can come in, and I can just close the curtain and be here and be alone. And then, also, I would do things. It's fun touring. In America, the drives are so long, and then you make a stop over in El Paso or Cleveland. In Cleveland, I remember we had a day off, and I just Googled "things to do in Cleveland," and number three was "the cemetery." So, I went! And it was a good cemetery. Spend more time in cemeteries.

Why'd you jump right back into writing after the first album cycle wrapped? In my mind, I was like, "I'll just get loads of songs out of the way because I know how this process works. It's gonna take a really, really long time to find anything good, and I just want to get a good chunk in right now. And then I'll take the rest of the year off and start again in the New Year."

Once I started doing it, I was like, "Oh, I actually really like writing music." When you're touring and promoting an album, I wasn't writing any music or necessarily being super creative at all, and I forgot how much that's very important to me. It was encouraging because there's always a part of you that thinks, "Maybe I just can't. I won't be able to do it again. I won't be able to write another song."

Where did "Sanctify" come in the process? It came pretty early. I've been having a lot of encounters with straight guys that were not being straight with me and were struggling, to put it lightly, with their sexuality. I was very fascinated by that dynamic because for starters, it's a very common experience, I think, for gay men to fall for a straight guy.

I mean, I've done it. I think for a lot of gay guys, you're at school and fall in love with your straight friends. That happened to me, and I think that's really super common. But also, now that I'm an out gay man—very out—I've noticed how some straight guys gravitate...it's weird because I've almost found myself having these encounters with straight guys and find myself playing this saint and sinner role, or like this angel and devil, because I'm leading them down the path of "sinful gayness," but also I'm helping them satisfy the sexual desire that they feel they can't get anywhere else. It's strange to have that dichotomy, and so I was like, "I'm gonna write a song about it!"

Most of my straight crushes happened when I was younger, where it's like, "Oh, I feel like I can lust after this person because it's likely never going to amount to anything because they're straight, so it's not gonna hurt me in the end." I relate to that 100 percent. That's something that I felt when I was younger. But then it happened to me recently where I was like, "Am I having feelings for this straight guy? What is that about?"

It's like you said: Putting away your emotions and investing in someone that ostensibly is never gonna give you that back. It's kind of heartbreaking. Why would anybody put themselves in that position? I think when you're a gay guy, navigating the dating world and romance, it's hard enough. If you're just stepping outside of all of that bullshit and just putting it on a straight guy, you're right: "Oh, that will never happen. My feelings aren't gonna get hurt." Even though they always kind of do. You're lying to yourself.

Have you felt from straight men—or men that present as straight, I suppose—that they've projected those angel and devil roles back on you? Yes. It's funny because it's like you feel the sense of responsibility to not fuck up this guy that's clearly struggling with his sexuality, but then resenting the fact that I had to tread on eggshells.

Is it especially hard for you to date because you're you? Yeah. It's funny because I downloaded Grindr. I was newly single toward the end of 2016, and I've been in relationships all throughout my 20s, and I was like, "I really want to be single, and I need to be alone." I think it's the right decision, but I'm literally like...I haven't seen Call Me by Your Name, and now I just cannot watch it because I'm just like, "Why would I watch depictions of two men being in love when I know I'll die alone?" I just can't handle that right now.

Anyway, when I was newly single, I downloaded Grindr because I'd been in relationships or I'd been in the band. I couldn't have Grindr, but then I was like, "Wait, but why the fuck can't I have Grindr? I want to have this experience." You know? So I downloaded it and I was on it, and then it was just weird because people would think I was catfishing myself, which was kind of a head fuck.

Grindr has some great things about it, but it also has a lot of negatives, and it's just very hard to trust anybody. It just feels like this meat market of dick pics and sex positions. "Are you a top or bottom?" It does kind of depress me a bit, even though I love to hook up as much as the next guy. It's good for that, but people would think I was catfishing myself, or they'd be like, "Oh, I'm such a big fan," and that's kind of a turnoff, so it didn't go super well for me.

You know how some people have dreams of moving to Florence or living in Seoul? You can still do all of those things, but I always think for queer people, "Well, I kind of need to live somewhere where I'm not gonna face abuse." A queer-friendly place. I think a lot of straight people forget that sometimes. They're surprised when I say that to them.

I think the assumption with straight people is that it's 2018 and even though things are better for gay people, it's not entirely true. I went to a wedding in San Antonio with my partner a couple of weeks ago, and I remember thinking, "Oh! This is the first time in a long time that I have not felt comfortable!" Yeah, I totally agree with you. Back when I had a boyfriend, if we were getting a cab together, I would a be a little uncomfortable kissing in the back of a cab. A lot of that has to do with my own issues around internalized homophobia that I grew up with, but at the same time, I do live in a really gay-friendly city. But if you leave London, half an hour away, you feel like it's a completely different landscape, and, you know, it does feel very threatening to just hold your boyfriend's hand or be yourself.

That is the reality for most queer people. I think we have made amazing strides in so many ways and we can be super happy about that, but it would be delusional to think that everything's fine. It's also because the LGBT community is so diverse, so intersectional, and I think people outside of the community forget that. But people within the community forget it, too. We don't actually reach equality unless everybody has equality, but if you're used to privilege, true equality feels like oppression. Unfortunately, we're white gay dudes, and we are a minority, and we have our own systems of oppression, but we're also at the top of the privilege tree. I think there's a lot of imbalance there.

I'm always gonna support my siblings in the community, but it does make me really sad to see how much racism, sexism, and transphobia that exists from within, and I think there are lots and lots of reasons for that, but we just can't really lose sight of the fact that we're all fighting similar battles.

You use the word "queer." A lot of people are still uncomfortable with that. Yes.

Have you had a moment where you've said to yourself, "I am comfortable using this and here's the reason why"? Yeah. Whenever I have these kind of conversations, I try and say I personally like "queer," but I understand that it's really painful for many people, and I've had a few people get offended with my use of the word, which I do completely understand. I'd like to think I have enough humility to be able to engage with that person that has the problem with that word, and I would listen and I would try and learn something from that experience.

I suppose for me, I like it because it feels very inclusive. "LGBT" is also good, and both feel separate but also similar. I don't know. I would be interested to hear what you think about the word and the use of the word.

I feel the same way. I think it's a generation who grew up knowing that word as an insult and a slur, that's hesitant to let a younger generation reclaim it. I think in 20 years, the gay twentysomethings at that time will be using "fag" as slang, but I was called it when I was younger, and I'm not comfortable yet letting that word be reclaimed. Yeah, I feel the same way about that [word], too.

It might say more about me than it says about them. Maybe I should be thrilled that they're so comfortable to take that word, especially when we're having the conversation about "queer." I'm comfortable using "queer," but it's also because the kids who were bullying me when I was 12 and 13 weren't using that as an insult. Exactly, yeah. I have not grown up with being victimized by that word. That is a super important distinction. But some gay guys feel like it diminishes a gay identity, and I love being a gay man. I identify as a gay man all the time, but I also like to identify as queer. I suppose it feels like it encompasses my gay identity, but it also encompasses some other stuff—a more fluid approach to my gender. And I feel like when I spend time with my friends who identify as genderqueer or non-binary, queer feels like the best word for us all as group. Language is so multifaceted, and these are words that we can employ in different situations, and they don't have to be fixed. If we're just carrying on these conversations, then I think we're fine.

You talked about the people that you have surrounded yourself with. Have you built up a support system within the community? Oh yeah, 100 percent. I moved away from home when I was 18 to London, and what I did was just try to find my family and people that I felt could understand the experience that I was going through. I've met amazing people. I've also lost amazing people along the way, and unfortunately that's normal.

I'm not saying that being straight is easy, but when you're gay, you don't really have a familial network or support system. You have to find that. Also, I think there's a whole erasure of queer people who are in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and so there's this collective anxiety about aging and who's gonna love us and who's gonna take care of us and what if we don't have kids because we don't have any rulebooks for that or any guidebooks for that. It feels completely terrifying, and I know that I'm not alone in thinking that.

Do you worry at all about getting older? For sure. Now I feel a little bit more comfortable with it and I think, "Oh my God, I'm so happy that I'm not gonna have to worry." I don't want to have kids, and that's just a personal choice. It's nothing to do with being gay or not, but I used to worry that "Oh, I'm gay, and that means I can't have a longterm relationship or get married or have kids." That was just the thing that you were supposed to have, that everybody was supposed to have. Now, of course, we do live in a world where it's totally normal for gay guys to get married and have kids.

Now I kind of feel like, "Oh well, I feel like I can just be empowered enough to make the choice to not have those things. I don't want them," and still live a full, happy life and get old and be a mad gay guy living by the sea like Grace and Frankie. That's literally all I'm aiming toward, is living like Grace and Frankie.

You just mentioned how we're meant to assume that we won't have long relationships. I've been in a relationship for almost four years, but the way that straight people talk about the length of their relationship, as if it's like...you know how when you have a dog, and it's like, "Well, he's 8 in dog years, but he's 64 in human years." People seem shocked that we're able to carry out longterm monogamy. I know. On the one hand, I think one of the great things about being gay, I find, is it's not a given that you're gonna immediately enter a monogamous relationship with somebody that just has to last as long as possible, and it fails when it ends. It's like one rule, and it's not to cheat. I love that it feels like there are more possibilities. For myself as a gay guy, I feel like, "Oh, maybe I could have a different kind of relationship," which is great but...

The rulebook is different. Exactly. But at the same time, it does show the double standard that gay people are viewed as less likely to be able to commit. I think there are lots of reasons for that, and I don't want to jump to, like, "Oh, well, straight people just think that gay guys are deviant and promiscuous," you know? There's a seed of truth to that, still, that it is kind of a surprise to see a longterm relationship.

It's crazy how we have one relationship model. I think even five years ago, people weren't super aware of what polyamory meant or being in a throuple. And I was like, "Maybe I wanna be in a throuple?" And I was like, "Actually, that seems like the best relationship ever." I just wanna be the unicorn in the throuple, and I can live in the next house to the couple. Wait, this sounds so fun. How can I arrange this?

I'm sure you can arrange that. I know. In my mind, I'm working toward the Grace and Frankie throuple situation. I'm just gonna get high by the beach all day. Maybe see my husbands or whoever they are a couple times a week.

Styling by Nick Royal

[aliciameade]

“Bet On It”

Wishing a [slightly belated] Happy Birthday to the incomparable @brittany-snodes!

I gift to you the fic you always wanted but never received.

Beca had always loved weddings.

Not that she let on that she did; it was in direct opposition to the personality she chose to convey to the outside world.

But she loved weddings.

Everyone was happy and celebrating love, and at the reception, she had plenty of opportunities to judge the music, whether it was a live band or a DJ. She particularly liked challenging them - DJ and band alike - with obscure requests to see how deep their knowledge ran.

There was drama. There was always drama at weddings. A girl would break up with her boyfriend - a groomsman - because he got too drunk and made out with someone else on the dance floor. At least one child would throw a tantrum or vomit. Or both. Someone’s aunt or grandmother would pass out drunk slouched on a chair in a corner and embarrass her family. A pair of teens would get caught making out behind an oversized piece of decor. It was especially entertaining if that discovery was paired with a reveal that the teenager was something other than heterosexual; the drama was scrumptious when that happened.

Maybe her taste for it developed when she was one of the teenagers busted kissing the groom’s niece at her cousin’s wedding when she was 14.

Being in weddings, however - she’d do it if she was asked (it was always nice to be asked), out of obligation, but she wasn’t keen on it. Which is why this afternoon as her lone responsibility is to man the guest book, she’s in a good mood.

She’s not bothered that she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid this time. Aubrey has a big family and a lot of old friends - two facts that surprised Beca when she learned them - and her wedding party was made up of her two sisters, a cousin, her childhood best friend, and Chloe, the lone Barden Bella who’d been asked.

The rest of the girls were there, too, of course, all involved in one way or another. Chloe had tasked Beca weeks ago with arranging a song for not just her Bellas, but also the Treblemakers to perform at the reception as a surprise for Aubrey and her new husband, Jesse.

And there’s a part of Beca that thinks that’s kind of weird, that she’s participating in her ex’s wedding, but she and Jesse called it quits not long after graduation and that had been nearly five years ago.

So, it’s fine, and she’s scored the sweetest deal of being part of the wedding; she gets a decent table at the reception and didn’t have to drop cash on a bridesmaid dress or plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party she attended.

She’s wearing a brand new dress, a light mauve number with a softly pleated skirt and matching heels she never thought she could pull off but was pleasantly surprised when she looked in the mirror at the store. It made her feel soft and pretty and playful.

Winning all around, really.

She watches their first dance from her decent table and dinner is amazing, and of course it is because it’s not like Aubrey would dare fall short on any aspect of this day. She sits through Aubrey’s sister’s toast which is as prim and proper as Beca expected, but she’s thrown for a pleasant loop when her sister tosses out a story about a drunken college-student-Aubrey, before Beca knew her, screwing a frat boy at a party.

Did she mention she loved weddings?

Benji’s toast is sweet and funny and a touch awkward and it makes her tear up a little, because Jesse really is a great guy, and she knows he and Aubrey will make one another happy.

She watches Aubrey dance with her military uniformed father and Jesse dance with the woman Beca once thought could be her mother-in-law. The rest of the wedding party filters onto the floor and she watches Chloe dance with one of Jesse’s high school friends, and she watches Benji dance with Aubrey’s sister, though he’s constantly looking past her at Emily as though he’s apologizing over and over for dancing with another woman.

Beca makes her way out eventually when the lead singer of the band calls for everyone to hit the dance floor. She’s dateless tonight, which isn’t new for her; sometimes she brings a date, sometimes not. She has a good time either way. Without a date, there’s always someone else who’s without a date because they couldn’t find one in time, or they just went through a breakup. And in the very rare instances that she can’t find someone to dance with, there’s always a shy teenage boy whose mother is thrilled when Beca asks if he’d like to dance with her.

She kind of likes trying to pull the shy ones out of their shells; probably because she had to be pulled out of her own.

There’s also the fact that there are so many pretty girls at weddings, and they’re all in pretty dresses with their pretty hair and pretty eyes and those who aren’t married are automatically in the mood for love, and hitting on bridesmaids is one of Beca’s favorite things because girls like when other girls compliment them, and once in awhile, one of those girls ends up in Beca’s bed at the end of the night.

She’s four cocktails in, having made a few rounds through the reception - talking to Aubrey and Jesse, grabbing a drink, talking to Chloe, grabbing a drink, talking to Amy and slamming back the shot of mystery liquor she was handed, talking to Emily and reassuring her that the demo she’d sent Beca to listen to was good despite the fact that Beca has already told her it was good no fewer than three times in the last week, and grabbing a drink.

It’s when she’s four cocktails in that she and the rest of the women - the unmarried ones, anyway - are prompted to cram into one spot on the dance floor and jostle one another to catch the bouquet that she’s elbowing and shouldering Chloe for position and making each other laugh.

Beca’s scrappy; she’s caught her fair share of bouquets no thanks to her height and all thanks to determination. She’s never been the next to get married in any of the scenarios despite the omen associated with the success, but she doesn’t care about that; she just wants to win.

Only this time she loses to Chloe who’s whooping and smiling and holding the caught bouquet high above her head like a trophy. There’s a chorus of oohs and the comments about how now she has to get married and Chloe just laughs and rolls her eyes and Beca walks her back to the head table so she can set down the flowers.

“Well, you know what they say…” she teases as they walk.

Chloe laughs. “I doubt I’ll be getting married anytime soon.”

“No? Don’t have your eye on anyone?” She knows Chloe’s in a rare period of singledom, and if she hadn’t repeatedly declared that it was empowering and that it was by choice, Beca would never tease her about it. They don’t see each other as often as they once did; Beca moved to New York after graduation following her internship to a real job, and Chloe ended up in Nashville. Beca’s work took her there with some frequency, and Chloe made it a point to take at least one trip to New York every year, but Beca missed her. It was kind of impossible to miss someone like Chloe Beale after she infiltrates your life the way she did Beca’s.

“No more than usual, I guess,” Chloe answers with a shake of her head as she sets the bouquet on the table at her place.

Beca doesn’t quite understand that answer, her brain starting to be a little fuzzy, but she thinks the implication is that Chloe’s had her eye on someone for a long time, but has grown weary of it. Maybe it’s the four drinks or the offense she takes at someone having the audacity to turn down Chloe, but Beca feels a little saucy. She hasn’t hit on a bridesmaid yet tonight.

Yet.

“What about you?” Chloe continues when she turns and leans against the table. She’s gorgeous; that’s old news to Beca. But Aubrey’s put her in a grayish lavender dress that reminds Beca of something a garden nymph might wear. Her stunningly red hair is longer than Beca’s ever seen it and it’s all pulled to hang over Chloe’s right shoulder, guided and held there by a trio of braids.

“What about me?” she says, wondering if it was obvious she was staring and maybe not really caring if it was.

“Do you have your eye on anyone?”

She hesitates for the briefest of moments as she runs a thousand scenarios through her buzzed mind, and then nods. “Yeah, I have my eye on someone.”

“Really?” Chloe pushes away from the table, surprised. “Who?”

“You.” She winks when she says it and part of her can’t believe that of all the bridesmaids in the world, and of the five options she has tonight, it’s Chloe who’s become the unwitting target of Beca’s fun. But another part of her kind of thinks maybe she’s known all along it would be Chloe tonight.

Chloe throws her head back in her usual style of wild laughter as she gives Beca’s shoulder a shove and tells her she’s a dork, and then takes Beca’s hand and walks them toward the bar which Beca bumps into when she forgets to stop walking. She was kind of distracted by Chloe holding her hand; it’s not as though it was the first time - it’s probably the 4,791st time. But it’s been awhile since the last time, and Chloe’s so pretty tonight, and Beca’s just really happy, and her hand feels nice in Chloe’s.

“Easy there, tiger,” Chloe says with her other hand moving to Beca’s hip to first pull her back a half step from the bar and then rub where it had collided with the bar. “How many have you had?”

“Either too many or not enough,” she says with a confident nod. She still feels saucy, and now a little silly, and her skin is on fire where Chloe’s hand had rubbed away the pain and that’s a new thing. Chloe’s touches always leave her a little fluttery, but the actual heat was a recent development. Like, a tonight development.

Chloe eyes her for a moment and Beca knows she’s evaluating Beca’s inebriation; they’d both become experts at judging one another over the years - a requirement to surviving college with the astounding number of parties they found themselves at. Beca holds her stare and then Chloe turns to the bartender and orders a pair of vodka cranberries.

They make small talk as they meander around the room - small talk with Chloe is never really small talk, but since they do talk in some way every day, there isn’t a massive catch-up conversation needed. They talk about the wedding and how pretty Aubrey’s dress is and their surprise performance that is mere minutes away which has them both slamming their drinks quicker than they'd have liked because Amy is on the stage stealing the mic from the band, which means it's showtime.

Beca's missed performing with Chloe. They'd only run through tonight's performance twice last night when everyone had been able to escape their pre-wedding responsibilities, all other rehearsals taking place via Skype and FaceTime and singing along to voice memos of one another and everyone else.

Chloe had asked Beca to put together an arrangement of “Jessie’s Girl,” and “I’ll Make Love To You,” which Beca found odd on a few levels - mainly that they were going to sing a song about wanting to steal their best friend from her husband of less than a day and the boys were going to sing about sleeping with her. But it was also meant to be funny and a way to acknowledge that the couple was moving on to the next chapter of their life and that they would miss them both.

It was somewhere around the time Beca was listening to Chloe singing a harmony on Skype that she realized it wasn't the first time she'd heard Chloe singing the girls’ song. She'd caught snippets of her humming it many times, over many years, and Beca knew the song was an earworm but right now as they warm up by singing the chorus quietly to one another, their backs to Aubrey, that she wonders if there was a reason other than it being a catchy tune.

Chloe smiles at her when their harmony resonates; Chloe was always a sucker for a perfect harmony. Not that Beca isn’t, but Chloe's eyes always lit up when they found it, and Beca kind of lived for those moments.

Maybe, she thinks as they mingle by the stage trying to not be super obvious as the rest of the Bellas and Treblemakers she graduated with were also suspiciously near the stage, she kind of wants to see Chloe’s eyes light up like that every day.

She doesn’t have a chance to get caught up in the thought because the moment Amy thumps the microphone on her chest to send feedback screeching through the room, Aubrey shrieks at an equal volume in a different key because she’s figured out what’s about to happen. Instead, Beca leads their now-co-ed group through the performance that is as silly as it is heartfelt, and Beca knows it’s going to end up on YouTube in 30 seconds and it’s going on Snapchat in real time, but she doesn’t care.

She doesn’t care that an imperfect, under-rehearsed performance is going to go viral, because she’s singing with Chloe and Aubrey is crying and Jesse is misty-eyed, and the fact that the two long-rivaled groups have called a truce for tonight in honor of their former captains tying the knot makes her feel like there’s hope in this fucked up world.

Trite as the impetus might be, she feels it.

Her hand is in Chloe’s, as is required for the final steps of the performance, when it’s over and they take their bows and Aubrey rushes them both, nearly knocking them off their feet hugging them both at the same time.

“Thank you,” Aubrey says, crying into both their shoulders. “That was amazing.”

They hug her back, and then Aubrey swaps places with Jesse and he’s hugging both of them and Beca takes a second to glance at Chloe when it happens and she can see the tiniest hint of tension in the corner of her mouth, a smile that’s not quite as genuine as it could be.

When the excitement of the performance has finally passed, Beca decides to grab Chloe’s hand again and pull her away from their old classmates so they can actually hear one another.

“You look really beautiful tonight,” she tells Chloe when they sit down at an empty table toward the back of the reception hall. She doesn’t let go of Chloe’s hand, instead scooting her own chair close enough so it’s comfortable to maintain that connection.

“Oh.” Chloe looks down for a moment, at their hands, and then looks up again. Beca thinks she might be blushing, but it’s hard to tell with the dim mood lighting that’s descended upon the party as the hour creeps later. “Thank you.” She smiles, and then in what seems like an unplanned of rush of words, adds, “So do you. Really pretty.”

It makes Beca smile. “Thanks. So...when are you flying out? Tomorrow?”

“Monday night,” Chloe answers with a shake of her head. “You?”

“Me, too. What are you, um...what are you going to do while you’re here?” She feels a little weird, like internally itchy, but she likes it.

“I don’t know; figured I’d ask the hotel concierge for some recommendations in the morning. You know how I don’t like to plan everything when I travel.”

“No, I know.” They both laugh because Chloe’s definitely referring to the last time she visited New York and refused to tell Beca anything she wanted to do while there, resulting in Beca going nuts trying to figure out how to plan anything whatsoever and breaking down in tears when Chloe said she wanted to go somewhere on the west side of Manhattan when they were on the east side, and it was a weekend, and the transit system was super fucked up. “Maybe we can hang out?”

“Totes!” Chloe says as she takes a sip of the drink a waiter’s brought for them. She keeps her eyes on Beca, though, and it makes her feel a little like she’s in a fishbowl.

But she kind of likes Chloe’s eyes on her. They are the prettiest eyes she’s ever seen, so what is there to complain about?

“Your eyes are like...fucking blue, dude,” she says, and the line doesn’t form quite as smoothly as it had in her head, but it was an okay start.

Chloe’s brows go high in surprise but she smiles. “I’ve been told.”

“Like the ocean.”

“The ocean is blue, yes,” Chloe says with a wider smile.

“And baby, I’m lost at sea.” That one came out exactly as she’d planned it and she watches the amused confusion slide over Chloe’s face.

“What?” Chloe asks with a laugh.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Beca says, winding her free hand like she’s trying to move time forward, “you’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.”

“Beca…” Chloe’s smile fades a little, “are you...are you hitting on me?”

“Why, is it working?” She squeezes the hand she’s still holding. She’s kind of swinging for the fences right now and thinks it might actually be working.

Chloe’s confusion seems to grow and she shifts in her seat and starts to reclaim her hand but Beca holds tight to it. “Are you being serious right now? Because -”

“Completely.” Beca drops whatever cocky or smug look she knew she had on her face because this is suddenly very serious.

“What...I don’t...huh?” Chloe seems lost and looks a little like she might pass out as she fans her face and then holds her hand to her forehead.

Beca feels lightheaded, too, not expecting her day to go this route, but something about the wedding and the singing and the reconnection had tripped a wire. “Go on a date with me tomorrow?”

Chloe seems to deflate at that. “You’re asking me on a date?” Her voice is meek and Beca’s not quite sure how to read her reactions to all this and she’s about to start worrying when Chloe perks up with the suddenness of toast from a toaster. “You’re asking me on a date?!” she repeats, all the enthusiasm typical of Chloe now back in her voice.

“Yeah, dude,” Beca says with a laugh, relieved that the embarrassment she felt looming seconds away got shooed away with Chloe’s adjusted reaction.

Chloe’s sitting ramrod straight in her chair. “Like, a date-date. A romantic date?”

Beca nods. “A romantic date. Maybe even with a kiss goodnight.” She knows she blushes when she says it, but she’s just drunk enough to be holding this conversation she wants to have and doesn’t care if she blushes because she’s being honest.

She hears a squeal and doesn’t have time to prepare for Chloe flinging herself into her lap, arms around her neck and lips on hers.

It’s a sound, firm kiss, one they’ve shared innumerable times over the years but Chloe hovers when it ends, and she’s grinning at Beca from her perch in her lap and Beca feels warm and tingly and every place their bodies are connected is on fire, especially her lips that desperately want to feel Chloe’s again.

“Or...we could...move that kiss goodnight up a few hours…?” Beca edges.

“To tonight?” Chloe whispers, and though the room is loud they’re close enough that Beca hears her and she nods. “Okay.”

This time when Chloe’s lips touch hers it’s different. It’s soft and cautious and exploratory and Beca can feel Chloe’s fingernails tickling the back of her neck along her hairline to make her shiver and it prompts her to wrap her arms around Chloe’s waist and hug her close.

When Chloe’s other hand makes an appearance, it’s at Beca’s cheek to tilt her head just a touch so their mouths meet at a better angle. It’s a true, real kiss, and their first of such, and Beca can feel it all the way to her toes. She sighs and that’s when she feels the tip of Chloe’s tongue graze her lip and so much anticipation rushes through her she almost forgets to do more than just open her mouth for it and actually keep kissing her. But only almost, because she could never forget to kiss Chloe, not after this moment and the way Chloe’s tongue teases over hers before retreating and instead offering featherlight kisses until it’s back with a vengeance and Beca actually groans at how good she is.

A shout of, “Bhloe’s real!” startles both of them and though her vision is slow to focus she knows it’s Amy who yelled it, is still yelling it, and is accentuating her yelling by pounding her fists on the table.

“Oh my God,” she groans, letting her head fall forward to rest against the hollow of Chloe’s throat, and because she thinks it’s probably totally allowed now, presses a kiss to her chest a few short inches away from the line of cleavage that’s been teasing her most of the night. “Why? Why does she do this?”

“She wouldn’t be Amy if she didn’t.” She feels Chloe kiss the top of her head and then she’s moving off Beca’s lap to stand. “Fine! Yes. Okay? Amy, are you happy?” Chloe’s shouting right back but she’s not mad, just joining in Amy’s fun.

“All you pitches owe me so much cash! With interest!” Amy’s already gone to make the rounds and shake down their friends to pay up on the bet Beca knows was made on her fate with Chloe.

Chloe’s hands are on her hips watching their friends talk, point, gasp, laugh, nod, and dig through their purses and wallets and she says over their shoulder, “They had a bet on whether or not we’d hook up?”

“Looks like it.”

“For how long?”

“Since Beca’s audition,” Cynthia Rose says as she passes by, also collecting her winnings. She’d bet in their favor as well, apparently.

Chloe laughs at her response and then she’s turning with a sigh and dropping back onto Beca’s lap but Beca catches her before she’s settled.

“Let me up.”

“What? Why?” Chloe asks with a pout.

“Because I have to collect on the bet I just won so I can take someone out on a killer date tomorrow.” She slides out from under Chloe with a smirk that she kisses Chloe with once they’re both standing.

Chloe catches her hand before she gets far. “You bet on us?”

She smiles easily, feeling every bit like she’s hit the jackpot tonight. “Always bet on a sure thing, babe.”

Beca had always loved weddings.