#anyway I helped a dude open an account to me and it was a very weird situation the whole time

[stylishanachronism]

In case anyone asks, yes I am very happily married, my husband is a great man who takes me out dancing every Friday night, and I left my ring in the break room after lunch because I did the dishes

[gloomwitchwrites]

1k challenge request- what is Ghost like on vacation? NSFW always preferred lol

Ghostie on vacation? Vacation?!? Yes, please. Funny enough, Ghost is currently on vacation in Ink & Needle, and that boy is being naughty in that AU. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. Thanks for sending this in! I hope you enjoy it (and the steamy bits).

Most of these are gn!reader with one or two exceptions!

Word Count: 729

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // 1k follower event masterlist

Do y’all remember the bit of banter between Soap, Ghost, and Laswell in MW3? And Ghost replies “why not both?” when it comes to whether they prefer the beach or snow. To me, that means Ghost is down for anything. He’ll take a road trip or a week-long stay in Bali. Man just loves a good vacation.

On that note, when Ghost and Soap were being a bit cheeky about the “tan lines around the eyes,” he insinuates he wears the mask, but I don’t believe that. When Simon isn’t in the field, he’s not going to wear his mask, especially on vacation. He’d stick out like a sore thumb.

If Simon is taking a vacation with his S/O, he’s really down for anything. It can be simple and romantic. It could be camping. Hell, you could drag him to Disneyworld and he’d probably still enjoy himself.

However, he’s very much controlling when it comes to traveling. He’s the Dad in this scenario. He packs in advance, he wakes up way too early to go to the airport, he checks to make sure the plane is actually at the gate, he keeps the schedule, and Simon isn’t necessarily going to just “go with the flow” in the moment. Simon is the one holding the passports and tickets. God help you if you try to seize them from him.

No mask. Period. And no work. Simon isn’t taking phone calls, emails, or anything else. Price can deal with any shenanigans on his own.

Terrible about putting on sunscreen. You’re always making sure he’s protecting his skin.

Most of the spending money is spent on feeding Simon. Dude is a brick wall and he’s always eating. And when he’s not eating something, he’s buying you whatever you want.

If the vacation requires driving, Simon prefers taking his own vehicle or renting one. He doesn’t skimp here. Simon will select a reputable rental car company and select something roomy.

Holds you accountable on everything, but is also incredibly indulgent. You might complain that something is expensive and you won’t get it, and Simon will say good on you for sticking to your guns, but he’ll also just fucking buy it anyway because he can’t help seeing you smile.

Vacations (or rather holidays) are Simon’s one opportunity to forget everything. He can spend time with you completely uninterrupted. No life shit. No work shit. Just you and him.

Enjoys the outdoors but is also down for exploring cities, walking through museums, and trying new things. Simon is open to exploring a culture he’s never interacted with before, especially if he’s doing it with you.

Likes to travel and go on vacation during off-seasons. Simon isn’t a fan of crowds and it’s not from an anxiety standpoint. That military training is hard to dislodge, and he’s often overly aware of potential threats in a crowd.

Has a terrible sweet tooth. Simon will eat more desserts than actual food if you’re not watching him.

Loves long road trips because he enjoys all the lazy blow jobs you give him while in the car. Sometimes he has to pull over and just have his way with you.

Basically, you and Simon are fucking regardless of where you are.

Going on a destination vacation to a beachy oasis? Simon is fucking you in the cabana, in the hotel room, in the private pool, under a waterfall. Sometimes it might be lazy and slow, and sometimes he’s just chasing his own end and needs to be inside you.

Camping? That tent is seeing some action. You’re little spoon. Simon is big spoon. And he probably has his cock buried deep inside you, rocking his hips lazily while is hand is playing with other parts of you.

But he’s smart not to fuck out in the wilderness. Bug bites are the fucking worse.

In the cabin in the Pacific Northwest? He’s fucking you by the fire while it rains outside.

Simon’s intimacy and romantic side really flourishes during this time. Because there are no outside distractions, he’s able to put his entire focus on you. Along with the sex, Simon is simply an attentive partner. While he’s here to enjoy himself, he is also highly aware of your needs.

Hates when the two of you have to go back to the real world. Would rather disappear with you forever.

taglist:

@km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @spicyspicyliving @miaraei

@coffeecaketornado @wren5650 @aykxz98 @kayden666 @unhinged-reader-36

@miss-mistinguett @keiva1000 @cherryofdeath @sapphichotmess @enfppuff

@cinnabeanz @berarenado @rogerrhqpsody @josephquinnschesthair @saoirse06

@haven-1307 @therealbloom @ninman82 @no-oneelsebutnsu @marispunk

@thewulf @lxblm @ferns-fics @ooldcardigan @beebeechaos

@enarien @xxkay15xx @sw33tsnow @kessi-21 @makayla-666

@lifes-project @burn1ngw00d @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lulurubberduckie @ravenpoe67

@contractedcriteria @lovely-ateez @gingergirl06 @kidd3ath @leed-bbg

@webmvie @blackhawkfanatic @suhmie @tulipsun-flower @ghosts-hoe

[indigosabyss]

Okay, I've gotten my hands on AvenAca Infinity #25, hideously late, and now I'm analyzing the events like CRAZY.

Ik ik everyone's already zeroed in on Tommy and the powers he has otherwise never displayed, but I can't stop thinking of what he's done and said so far.

An important distinction has to be made that these twins are not the reincarnated Tommy Shepherd and Billy Kaplan. They are the souls of Tommy and Billy Maximoff, bits of Mephisto's life force cut off, reformed and then cast aside, eventually to reincarnate years before they were born. Meaning what they know and are capable of will vary greatly from their reincarnated selves, even if the base connection remains.

(The age and appearances of the incarnations of the Infinity comics interest me bc they were dissipated as infants afaik, and they both had auburn hair - except for the one time where one was blonde, but they definitely weren't ten-ish years old rocking the black and white cuts. But that's not the point right now)

Right now, I'm thinking of this version of Tommy, who so far has appeared in the MVI #8 and AvenAca Infinity #24-26. And I can't help but notice that he seems to know a lot more than Billy.

Where Billy thinks that Mephisto is after them bc "they were born bad", Tommy says to Shela that "they think only my brother is the special one". He knows that Mephisto's interest in them is that they become (are???) the Demiurge. Or some level of power that makes them desirable to capture.

Back in MVI #8, we see further links to that, when America Chavez tells them about her home realm, and Billy comments that he and Tommy could probably make something like that, only for Tommy to quickly shush him.

Am I reading too much into it, or has he put together why people might want to capture them and is trying to cover it up? Billy doesn't think much of this confession, but Tommy shuts it down fast anyway.

Moving on from the implicit, let's look at his plan when the issue opened with him suggesting they split up.

Apparently, no one they've encountered so far had the ability to notice them except for agents of Mephisto. That's why Bri scared them (and also why I think this happens before MVI bc that was not the reaction they had to Chavez). But Tommy then breaks off to double back and revive Shela, knowing she would be able to see him and help him??? I feel like the time manipulation powers played some role in that.

His monologue to comatose Shela is driving me especially insane.

The italicized "fast one" is clearly meant to be a jab at him being a speedster, but he hasn't used his speed powers in this incarnation even once! He says they all think he's silly, but I doubt the demons are the ones throwing around playground insults. He has got to be referencing the future here, as he does with Shela's capabilities, so there's more than enough evidence that he's taking a couple peeks into what lies ahead.

And once Shela's awake, his word choice is very deliberate. He jumps straight to it, and knew she would follow. More foresight? Possible, given how he felt free to monologue at length before waking her up, and then suddenly he had no time to waste.

There's a lot of interesting things here that he hints towards knowing and deliberately hiding. And what interests me most is that he doesn't tell Billy any of this. Kid's having an existential crisis at a variable but very young life stage, and dude is just. Not sharing stuff.

Or maybe he did. Maybe he tried to explain them being a Demiurge. Maybe that was what made Billy think they were born bad. And now he's being more vague to protect Billy.

It's just an interesting role to see Tommy in, as the one who knows more than the rest, the one who's taking point, when in most of his superhero career he's having to play catch up, brought into the fold too late.

There's also his reincarnated self's repeated insistence that he wasn't at all magical to take into account, since we know his old self his powers, but why would the reincarnated version? Does he have even an inkling????

[nonotnolan]

Summer Break Dullahans

I can’t say that I was expecting to respond to somebody’s cry for help at three in the afternoon.  The student dorms were already pretty empty, since only one of the three buildings would be open for summer classes, and most people were at home until the summer semester officially started.  So when I heard a faint cry of “Can anybody hear me?  I need help!” it was easy for me to believe that the guy had been yelling in vain for quite awhile.  I wasn’t sure what I expected-- a Freshman who managed to get pinned between the bed and the wall, maybe?  I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to see Ben’s detached head sitting on a couch pillow.

No wonder he was yelling for help, he was literally just a head!  I walked over and picked him up off the couch, grabbing him on either side of his ears.  I thought for sure this was just an optical illusion somehow, but... no, I was holding his entire head in my hands.  “Put me down, jackass,” he shouted, trying and failing to wiggle out of my grip.  “I don’t need help from you.”

I wasn’t expecting to feel the muscles in his jaw move as he spoke, and I’m a bit ashamed to admit I actually dropped him in surprise.  He landed on the couch, at least, but it couldn’t have felt good to land nose-first from that far up.  “I’m so sorry, Ben,” I said, as I rotated him back to an upright position.  “What happened to you, anyway?”

“You know damn well what happened-- your fucking roommate happened, that’s what,” he said, glaring at me.  “I was just watching some Netflix when Grant barges into my room with a goddamn sword.  Next thing I know I’m stuck on the couch, and he’s taking away my headless body!  He already told me about your plan to steal bodies away from other guys, don’t you fucking dare pretend to feel bad.”  Well, that was news to me, but Ben refused to believe a word I said.  Not knowing what else to do, I turned on the TV on for him, and leaved the door open so that the next person might be able to find him a bit easier.  

Pulling out my phone, I discovered that I’d missed a few text messages from Grant.  He said he was waiting for me downstairs in the parking garage with a surprise that I’d have to see to believe.  Which... yeah, if I hadn’t managed to stumble across Ben’s detached head, I don’t think that I ever would have expected to see a muscular Grant.  He was a great roommate and all, but the dude was maybe 120 pounds on a good day.  Given that I was easily twice his weight, the two of us definitely had a weird dynamic going.

Or, we used to, at any rate.  The new Grant was almost certainly a lot more muscular than he had ever been before in his entire life.  It was hard to imagine the guy who stayed up every night with me to grind rank in League of Legends being able to earn a physique like that.  And there was something about seeing his pale head resting on top of Ben’s tanned body that was just far too comical.

“What, is that the only reaction I’m going to get?” he asked, frowning slightly.  “Fuckin’ look at me, bro.  I’m like some sort of Alpha Male now.  You wish you could be a man like me!”  He started flexing his arms, causing veins to appear in places I didn’t even know they existed.  “It’s okay to be jealous, Eric.  You don’t gotta act so modest on my account.  I know you’re gay, it’s okay if you suddenly want a piece of this.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.  “Sorry if you were expecting me to be completely losing it right now,” I said.  “I already ran into Ben upstairs, and he told me... well, what’s left of him told me about what you did.  Nice sword, by the way.”

“Well, fuck,” he said, letting his shoulders drop.  There was something about seeing him stand there, slouched over, that made him look so much more like the real Grant.  “Probably should have slapped his head onto my old body before leaving.  I guess on the plus side, I won’t have to work very hard to convince you that this sword is magic somehow.  And anyway, I still have another surprise up my sleeve.”  He snapped his fingers, and gestured toward a figure who had been standing off in the shadows.  Well, most of a figure, at any rate.  A headless body, absolutely stacked with muscles, stepped forward into the lights.

“Did you... is that for me?” I asked, trying to make sense of the surge of emotions I felt.  Desire.  Longing.  Lust.  Holy hell, I wanted that body to be mine.  The shoulders, the pecs, the abs... healthy, vibrant, everything that my current pale and flabby body could never be.  Not without more work than I would ever be willing to do.  A primal, animalistic Need.  And, if I had to be honest, a slight amount of guilt.  I’d already saw what Grant had done to Ben.  If I made this body mine, I would be stealing it from someone else.

I was utterly entranced.  I found myself tracing the ridges of its chest with my fingers, my head utterly swimming in hormones as my manhood rose to its paltry four inches underneath my cargo shorts.  “Grant, who did... where did you find him?”

“Nuh-uh,” Grant said, shaking his head at me.  “I know you, Eric.  You think too much.  If I tell you his name, you’re gonna feel bad and you’re gonna try to make it up to him.  Fuck that shit.  This is all or nothing.  You want this body, you don’t get to know whose it was.”

He knew me far too well.  I looked back and forth between Grant and the headless muscle hunk that he had procured for me.  Did I want it that badly?  Would I be able to live with myself afterward?  My head tried to argue ethics, but my heart already knew my answer.  

I dropped down onto my knees, giving Grant easier access to my neck.  He lifted the sword up high into the air, striking down with a massive swing.  I felt a sudden lurch as I fell several feet to the ground.  I tried to use my arms to prevent myself from hitting the ground, only I didn’t have arms anymore-- my old body was completely unresponsive.

“Hey, wanna know what your new body is gonna smell like?”  I tried to protest, but I was unable to stop Grant from lifting up my new body’s arm and shoving my head right into its armpit.  The coarse hair brushed up against my nose and lips as the sweaty musk filled my nostrils.  “Yeah, you like that, don’t you,” he said, laughing at me.  I wanted to be mad, but... he was absolutely right.

“Just shut up and attach my head,” I said, trying not to let him know how much it was turning me on.  If I didn’t have an armpit fetish before, I did now.  Grant lowered my head into place, and suddenly I had full control over my new, muscular body.

I practically sprinted back inside to find a bathroom with a good mirror.  Can you blame me?  You could still see the difference between my head’s pale skin and my body’s bronze tan, but I think maybe a lot of people would  just assume that I had used tanning spray.  Hell, for all I know, my prior body really had used a tanning spray.

A few months from now, the rest of my friends would return from summer break, and I would have to try and convince everyone that I had gained this body naturally.  No one would ever believe that I had lost 100 pounds at the same time that my roommate gained 100 pounds.  Although... if Grant was planning to keep the sword, maybe he would be willing to hook up my friends with a new body as well?

[ghouldtime]

Hey there! I discovered you today and I wanted to tell you that I love your account and your König! Anyway, since I'm Austrian, I was curious about the following: Where do you HC König to be from? Which state, I mean? I always liked to think that he was from Styria, but I'd love to hear your input from that as well! Sorry if you've answered this before, though! Have a nice day! ^^

💚💚💚💚💚💚 Salutations! Hope you're doing well, thanks for the ask, and it's not one I've answered before! I'm glad you love them :D . I know I write him different than most and he isn't the typical depiction but I'm forever a regular dude König truther and will always try to give him some semblance of peace and life

I head cannon him as being from Styria too! I know we'll never get an official city or region where he's from but I agree and think it suits him the best. I just can't see him growing up in an area like Vienna or Salzburg, it just doesn't really "fit" him.

I type him as a very outdoorsy guy who naturally grew up with a lot of land and beautiful places to go without having to deal with the typical riff-raff of tourists that tend to flock to the usually more popular areas. Not to mention, I like to say he grew up on a farm. I'll never be able to see him anything different. Can't convince me he DIDN'T have a whole flock of chickens growing up (and he still can recount all of their names).

It significantly helped and hindered his social anxiety. On one hand, he didn't have to be social and it was a place for him to retreat to. On the other hand, it meant he wasn't exactly well socialized for much of his childhood (he wasn't keen on leaving the farm unless he was going on a hike) and the main socialization he got was negative from his peers. At least he had plenty of room to be himself when he got home - and always had plenty to do to keep his mind off of it.

It's also why he rose up the ranks in the military. He was already used to waking up at the crack of dawn and doing manual labor. He knew how to manage himself and the time he had and could essentially be left alone to get anything done. He had that natural discipline and disposition to him that gained him attention in the GOOD way for once.

Styria is just a perfect environment for him and because I like to imagine he had a happy home life (not so much with school and all that, but I'm giving him something), so that's where I put him because it has everything he could want. Hiking? Check. Great outdoors? Also check. Plenty to do in nature so you don't even have to go into major towns to have fun? Check.

That still sticks with him til this day. He doesn't like being in suburban areas or major cities, the vast open outdoors always called his name in an echo that lasts in his bones til this day. Maybe one day he'll be able to return for more than a vacation

[ophernelia]

hey! random question and honestly if it's too personal feel free to ignore me, but I was wondering how do you get pass some bad depression and anxiety? this is such a chaotic ask dude im sorry im having a shitty day tryna calm myself down before I go into a full anxiety attack it's a shot in the dark like how do you even answer that question especially when you're actively trying to get thru it and live yourself? dumb question girl im depeserate and this is cringey as hell,thank you if you do take the time to answer it. it'll help me more than you know

It's not dumb at all! I don't mind answering! I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. I've been there a few times over the last month, so I understand completely. Recent world and personal events aside- it's that time of year when depression and anxiety kick up again. It's been a doozy this time. As someone in the medical field I will say GET SOME SUNLIGHT! Get some good rest. Eat foods that make you feel good. Try to do whatever light activity you can. Unfortunately they were not lying when they said that stuff helps. I thought it was a gimmick. (Also, this will look different for everyone so don't feel bad about sticking to a certain thing. I have disabled loved ones, so walking around isn't something they can really do. Instead I try to get them to do what they can. Lift their feet, rotate their wrists, open up the windows to let in some fresh air. Whatever you can do, try it. And whatever you can't do, to hell with it anyway.)

I use the same coping skills year round. Though they may pick up in frequency around this time or I'll add in something new. I typically manage my depression and anxiety the same way. Most times they go hand in hand for me. I'm big on nervous system regulation. For me that looks like going for a walk, tapping/patting my body, deep breathing exercises, or just getting some good rest. If all else fails- one thing Ima do is take a nap. For me lately, the bodily sensations are what bother me the most, so I do that to combat it. I try to calm myself down physically first. There's a game I like to play on my phone called "Kinder World". They have you do exercises like deep breathing and emotion naming to be able to grow and water plants. It's a fun and calming distraction. I need to look into it more, but I feel like they had mental health professionals work on or contribute to the app. It's in line with a lot of things I learned while getting my degrees.

I'm also very big on self talk, self compassion, etc. Especially when I'm having a depressive episode. I've gotten good at understanding my feelings are just feelings. I can respect them, they're valid, but that's about it. They aren't destiny markers, they aren't indicators that I'll always feel bad. I like to think about times where I thought I was dealing with something I could never get through. Something I could never get over. I got over all of that and then some. My future views were just skewed at the time. I try to remember that I feel rough now, but I won't always feel this bad. It helps me to not slip deeper into it. I also try to care for myself as if I was caring for someone I love. "How do I help Brook?" She needs to eat, so I'll get her something she'll enjoy. She needs to bathe, so I'll drag myself into the shower and get it done with. Even if I feel like I need a hug, I will hug myself. The only person who can understand how I feel right now is myself. I try to be nice to her. I try to give her grace. I will still hold myself accountable for missteps, but I try to do it all with love and compassion. That's not to say I am a "love and light" girl. I'm rough with my words. I will argue with people if I feel like it. I curse like a mf sailor, irl. In front of my momma and everything. (Uh huh, al the black folks is clutching their pearls right now. I do it and don't feel a way about it LMAO) But it makes no sense in being rough with yourself if you know it won't help improve your well-being.

I've been working on myself for years though. I've had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. It's something that has grown with me, if that makes sense. That monster is always there, but I've gotten to the point where it's like "well, bitch you're here so let's figure out how to make this work." It's tough. Managing it is tough, sometimes things work and sometimes they don't. The way I handle this is to just push through. I try to improve my situation where I can and where I can't? It is what it is. I've got a lot of faith in myself and the belief that I will always live well. I take my moments of happiness and I take my gratitude and make em' stretch.

[turtlesocksv2]

Liveblogging Dead Friend Forever Ep 6

we return to your regularly scheduled "what the fuck is wrong with these people"

You know I don't think i've mentioned it but the opening credits are so good. such vibes.

lol pyramid crime scheme. If you recruit more people, you'll get a cut from their profits! just go sell fucking sweatpants or essential oils.

oh LMAO is Por a fucking nepobaby Influencer. and his audience is NOT here for it i am dying. "can we pirate it?" "looks like a waste of time" "what the fuck is this plot?" i love it. Top trying to ride Por's coattails and is obnoxious as usual. no one wants you to talk more, dude.

I mean, Por's dad is wrong for trying to hit him but he spoke no lies. Be better, Por! You can't live your Paris Hilton nepobaby dreams without actually hustling.

Tee is absolutely skimming money from Non's cut.

lol i see you, Jin, watching Kinnporsche at school.

Calling ❤️ who once again does not answer the phone. I wonder if they're in a different timezone (like New studying abroad maybe) because they never answer when Non calls and it's always at night. Hmmm. But Oof, that transition from calling ❤️ to the poster for Hot Teacher's tutoring does make me Suspicious.

I do not trust Hot Teacher's intentions!

Oh Non, no. please don't steal money from the mafia. Jin's the only one who's actually suspicious of Non having that money, once again proving that Jin is Too Good for this friend group. why the fuck are you friends with these assholes, Jin?

These fucking idiots never thought about actually editing the movie. oh my god. poor Non doesn't know how to edit! good on Jin for helping. Anyway, Jin is very much into Non. sir what is with that soft look over the editing laptop!

Uh Oh the walls are closing in and the pyramid scheme is gonna fall apart. Oops. Top and Tee are the worst, though. lol "I didn't get there in time so i didn't open the account" with that stupid look on his stupid face. fucking Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over here.

lol this intimidation beatdown. Tee, you wish you had the style and flair of a Theerapanyakul.

Oh Non. Please throw Tee under the bus. He deserves it. ACAB but at least these cops aren't stupid enough to buy the "It's just me". what kind of high schooler can set up that kind of scheme? Nahhhh.

LMAO Por's Mom is ready to fucking Fight Non's Mom and Non's Mom trying to go for the slap surrounded by cops....I respect both of these ladies for it.

dude, i get that you're not thinking clearly and all by why would you try to kill yourself by dry swallowing pills. of course you're just going to choke if you try to dry swallow a handful of pills all at once.

PHI!!!!

wow ok the preview for next week is wild. PHI!!!!! 😍Hot Teacher! 😡

[undercover-stories]

This is a sasunaru modern college au I’ve been working on for ages. But I’m currently stuck, so I'm gonna post an excerpt here for funsies. Enjoy!

“I am not jealous”, Sasuke snapped at Neji, who was lowering himself to the floor to get into position for his post-spar meditation.

“I didn’t say anything”, the Hyuga replied, crossing his legs and closing his eyes. You’d think the guy would prefer to do this particular task anywhere else but their university’s fitness centre, but apparently, he liked the challenge of having to block out environmental sounds. It does help that they picked the earliest time slot so there were only a handful of people in the gym either sparring, making use of the equipment, or in the boxing corner which is where Sakura would usually be in the afternoon, trying to drive the bags of their hooks after a stressful day of medical school.

Sasuke and Neji preferred to just spar on the mats that were usually occupied by the judo and aikido practitioners on weekend afternoons. Naruto would typically be joining them around this time. Taking Neji’s spot against Sasuke despite having already spent 30 minutes on the treadmill. But Naruto’s stamina had always been monstrous in its expanse.

Instead, for the 3rd day in a row, he was standing in the gymnastic area by the bars, watching in awe as Gaara Sabaku showed off another flip.

“Just call him over”, came the exasperated scolding from the Hyuga who still had his eyes closed.

Sasuke just let out a disgruntled ‘tch’.

“What is he doing here this early anyway?”, the Uchiha narrowed his eyes at the twirling redhead, “He always trains at noon with his brother. Is he even supposed to be here without his coach?”

Neji’s face scrunches up, and Sasuke can’t help but feel a little triumph at having gotten a reaction.

“He doesn’t need a spotter just to use the beams. He’s 21, not 11. Go call Naruto over because we have 40 minutes before Lee shows up”

It’s uncharacteristic of Sasuke to have a desire to pester someone till they indulged him, but he was particularly annoyed this week and was itching for a good fight, which Naruto usually delivered.

Sai called it sexual frustration and ‘advised’ him to get dicked down already.

If Sai wasn’t one of Naruto’s friends, Sasuke would have been more than happy to show him his gratitude for the ‘advice’.

To say that he was surprised to show up at Naruto’s apartment 5 months ago to see Sai, sitting cross-legged on the kitchen island grinning at him (If it could be called that) over a bowl of cereal, would have been an understatement. Sasuke had been very quick to ask his best friend for an explanation

“I thought you didn’t even like him?!” , he hissed.

“Initially!”, . Naruto sputtered half- heartedly.

“Then why has he set his easel with its half-finished art project on your balcony?”

“He said the fresh air helped his imagination”

“Naruto”

“Oh, the moving-in thing. Yeah, let me tell you about his shithead of a guardian Danzo….”

Sasuke has rarely ever actually met anyone with a childhood as abhorrent as Naruto’s but Sai gave him a run for his money.

“And that’s not even half the shit the bastard’s done. Sai’s trying to cut the dude out, but he froze all of the money in his account cause the control freak wouldn’t let him open one under his name even though Sai is already 20”

“Usuratonkachi, get to the point”

“Oh, right. He didn’t have any money, and he needed a place to stay….”

Sasuke massaged his eyebrows down to the bridge of his nose. “Are you going to pick up every stray you find, dobe?”

Their conversation is interrupted by a loud indignant yowl from Kurama who’d been lounging by the window listening to their argument. He gets up and gracefully weaves through the potted plants Naruto had arranged on the ledge, leaps onto the floor, and canters over to the blonde, meowing loudly like a whiny spoiled child.

It doesn’t help that Naruto immediately melts at the sight of him and picks the cat up to hold it lovingly to his chest. “He didn’t mean it, Kurama. You’re not a stray. You’re a powerful little beast aren’t you”

Seemingly appeased, the Maine Coon gives Sasuke one last scathing look before nuzzling further into Naruto’s arms, purring when Naruto gives him a distracted scratch under his jaw.

“I could help, and I did”, the blonde says in such a matter-of-fact manner that it made Sasuke feel ashamed that he ever asked.

He looks at the cat waving its tail as he nuzzled into Naruto and remembers the snarling dirty little creature it used to be 2 years ago.

He also thinks about the lonely little malnourished boy sitting alone in a crowded cafeteria with nothing to eat and he thinks about a refrigerator currently filled with home-cooked meals Naruto could now enjoy to his heart's content, knowing they were made by someone who cared about him.

He thinks about the bare, cold, tiny room of the second-floor apartment, that the blonde had lived in for the majority of his childhood, with its doors eternally locked by foster parents who couldn’t care less and he thinks about the pictures and paintings that currently hung all around the 21-year-old’s home with a front door that was always open to welcome anyone who crossed its path.

Sasuke is broken out of his memories by the sound of heavy sneakers squeaking from the friction against the gym floor.

“Hey! Sasuke! Sorry! I got distracted. Gaara was doing this cool move-“

“It's fine, dobe. Just get in position already.”

“Oh, Gaara said he wants to join us in the mornings from now on. Said the company was better. I think he just likes that there are fewer people”

“Wonderful”, Sasuke says through gritted teeth. He could practically feel Neji vibrating with barely held-back laughter behind him, “Just start already. We have 15 minutes till Lee gets here”

It's not that any of them disliked Lee. He was their friend, and he hung out with them often. But Lee was also the university’s star athlete, and being around while he was training was begging for a death wish via exhaustion through being roped into one of his intense workouts. The only person capable of managing Lee was coach Guy himself.

Naruto immediately sets himself into a solid stance, “HA! I’ll beat you in 10 minutes”

Sasuke couldn’t help the smile edging at the corner of his lips, “You can try idiot”

Reblog? Also tell me if you think I can post this as a oneshot

[balladedutempsjadis]

I drove 30 minutes each way today to go and see Ponniyin Selvan 2 at the theater closest to me that was still showing it. So this is the sequel to a movie that I didn’t even know about until last Saturday but I’m now OBSESSED (so if you’re a fan and I just friended you that’s why!)

The long drive was soooo worth it though I’m a little ticked off that the manager of the theater was so late to open things up that we missed the first ten minutes of the film (but I know I’ll watch both films again when Amazon gets PS2 in late June so no violence was done ;))

Short version: well worth seeing in the theater and I’m really glad I got the chance. I loved the movie, and couldn’t believe how fast it moved for an-almost 3 hour film. The characters and plot were as engrossing as in the first film and I’m glad I was mostly unspoiled except by history (spoilers below) because there were moments of intense suspense. I’m sad that it’s not a trilogy because I really wanted to spend even MORE TIME in this world with these people.

Longer version (with SPOILERS):

1. I knew Aditha Karikalan would die at some point because he never became a Chola king. And it was probably for the best that he didn’t rule the Cholas lands because I think he would not have made a good king, being so ruled by his passions. At least a few courses in anger management would have helped probably. But … Vikram was really stunning in the role of a man who loathes himself for what he’s become and is dying of guilt and shame long before he actually dies. Just ... I need to watch both movies again and see how his character develops from the flashbacks to the bitter husk of a man he is.

I still can’t figure out one thing, which is why he agreed to basically give up the kingdom for Madhurantakan without taking account the interests of his brother Arunmozhi Varman, whom he very demonstrably cared for deeply. (He was destroyed by the thought that his younger brother had drowned, and the only time we've seen present Aditya happy what when Nambi told him that Arunmozhi was alive.) Was it just because he already knew he was either going to convince Nandini to run away with him or more likely let her kill him and other people would be sorting out that mess anyway? Another reason that he wouldn’t have made a good king - running off with another dude's wife - but which made him such a fascinating and complex character and I keep thinking about how both Nandini and Aditha were destroyed by his family's actions. *sob* (Although, Arunmozhi also gave up a crown twice - the one the monks offered him in Sri Lanka and the one his father gave him at the end - so maybe giving up kingdoms just runs in the family. I'm #TeamQueenKundavai TBQH :P)

2. That brings me to Nandini. I felt like she really did love Aditha Karikalan but she also did love power and being a Queen (because of the theater malfunction I only got to see the very end of the flashbacks of young Aditha and young Nandini at the beginning of the movie so I may have a clearer understanding that this is not what she's about once I see that.) Aditha says "lies!" when she says she wants power, and riches, and a throne, but I think it's not *entirely* lies? She was powerless when the Cholas deported her, and powerless to stop Aditha from killing the man she thought of as a father (who actually WAS her father), so I can certainly understand why part of her longed for the power to protect herself from heartbreak and destitution and why that part of her was willing to use her beauty to manipulate men (like Parthibendran, more on him later.) Her vengeance and hatred hollowed out her character just as much as guilt and anger did to Aditha, but she doesn't murder Vanthiyadevan (OMG HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT?) when she has the chance even though she knows he's going to do everything to spoil her plans. So there's still something in her that isn't completely spoiled, and I ended up just feeling incredibly awful for her (and even more awful for her mother!)

She is so damn beautiful! (One slight thing that I WISH they had done was give the young woman who played young Nandini (wonderfully) some hazel contact lenses so I'd wouldn't mentally have to color her eyes :P)

3. Next we come to Vandiyadevan, who was just ... perfect? I loved him. He was like an ancient Tamil D'Artagnan (and that would make Aditha Karikalan Athos and Nandini Milady, I guess? And Nambi is Porthos and Kundavai is Aramis, the clever one.) Anyway, he was great, smart, quick-thinking, a great warrior, but also not at all dumb. I really liked him and enjoyed all of his scenes. And I found out from history that the historical character did get to marry Kundavai so YAY! He was just a nice bright spirit without a ton of angst.

4. And now we come to the titular character, Ponniyin Selvan (Ponni's son) himself, Arunmozhi Varman, who eventually becomes Rajaraja Chola. I had never even heard of Jayam Ravi (sorry, this is I think the first Tamil movie I've watched since I was a kid) but he was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT as the young "King of Kings." I think this might have been the most difficult role in the film to pull off, simply because Rajaraja Cholas is so famous and so beloved STILL, a thousand years after his death. It's very rare that I would love the unequivocally good guys in a historical epic or fantasy movie/series but there is something about this character played by this actor that is just extremely charismatic. To start with, he's tall and handsome so that helps. But there's another quality that no one else in this film has, which that he radiates inner calm.

It's not that he doesn't have strong emotions that he shows on his face, because yes absolutely he does, and it's not that he doesn't have much do action-wise because he does, especially in P-S2.

But in the midst of this frenetic action and these tortured characters, Arulmozhi Varman has this quality of stillness at his core. No wonder the Buddhist monks like him so much that that they will put themselves between him and assassins' daggers. (Also did I mention the tall and handsome part?)

Plus, he has that classic "worthy to be a king" thing going because he does not want the throne and that's what makes him worthy. First of all, he refuses the throne of Lanka when he's offered it by the Buddhist monks there, and then, after he's won the battle and broken the rebellion and secured the safety of his family's kingdom, he gives up THAT crown too. WE - the audience - know that Uttama Chola will ultimately die (I think peacefully?) and Arulmozhi will become Rajaraja Chola but HE doesn't know that, and none of the other people, his friends and family, know that either. Like, I'm kind of in awe of the actual historical figure too. The character could have died so many times in these two films, and the historical person, who was a warrior king, could also have died long before he took the throne, so he was FOR REAL making a huge sacrifice. And I think he did it so there would be no divisions that the Cholas' enemies could take advantage of, as there had been for Nandini and the Pandyas to exploit when Maduranthakan decided that yes, he did want to be king and that it wasn’t fair that his brother’s oldest son would be king instead of him. No one living at the end of the film knows that Aditha essentially killed himself, but everyone knows that the plotters were using Maduranthakan as a puppet. (The crown was kind of funny looking so I'm actually glad my boo didn't put it on at the end :P) (Also more on Maduranthakan later.)

Also, how cool is it that in the battle at the end, Arunmozhi comes riding out of the smoke while the Chola anthem plays, just as his brother did in the first scene of the first movie. I love that parallel (and the differences are important too, because Aditha was engaging in a conquest of a neighboring kingdom and Arunmozhi is defending the Chola kingdom.)

Anyway, Ponniyan Selvan lived to become the great Rajaraja Chola, whose reign saw one of the highest points of Indian art (the extraordinary Chola bronzes) and the construction of the great South Indian temple of Brihadeswara in Thanjavur.

The carvings are amazing (look closely at this elephant which is doing something that happens in PS2 :D)

OK, moving on ... though I don't want to ...

5. Kundavai, the third royal sibling, who I also love to BITS. She didn't have as much to do in this film, I thought, and maybe it's because there was more focus on Nandini in this one, but she remained smart and sensible and I love the face-off with her uncle when he brings the Shiva-yogis to make his mother (Kundavai's grandmother) apologize for not putting him on the throne. Kundavai forces him and his rather intimidating crowd of followers to back off with a lot of hard stares (Paddington would be so proud.) And then she has the lovely little scene with Vandiyadevan (I'm still so sorry I don't know how to make this work) and and another gorgeous scene with her brothers at the Buddhist monastery (which, I love the scene but I hate that it’s the ONLY one). I love her, and I think she should have become the queen and my only consolation is that IRL she got to basically shape two great kings of the Chola dynasty, Rajaraja AND his son Rajendra. (And Rajaraja named his daughter after her so he obviously appreciated her a LOT.) Anyway, I love her and would love a series about her (IF ANYONE IS LISTENING.)

Awww! I just want to draw little hearts and flowers around this GIF. I wish we got more of them being adorable and hot together.

6. Everyone else (sorry this is getting super long), including some questions I have.

a. Vanathi: I know I saw some scenes of her and Arulmozhi in one of the song videos hat got cut in the actual film and I just would have liked to know more of her relationship with Kundavai and with Kundavai's brother. They were lovely together, but it just felt like there was a lot of missing stuff. I liked what I saw of her especially the adorable dance in PS1. And she was also related to ... someone? Because she called him "mama" (uncle?) and he seemed to be the commander of Aditha's forces, but then there was another dude at Kadambur who was a relative of the Cholas and the treasurer guy who was married to Nandini but they were not the same person and I thought one of them was Vanathi's uncle. NEEDS MORE BACKSTORY.

b. Poonguzhali (AGAIN I AM SURE I SPELLED THIS WRONG): I REALLY need more backstory on this. When did she meet Ponniyan Selvan? Why did he call her Samudra Kumari? Why did she risk her life for him (I mean, besides being in love with him which checks out because everyone else is :P) and what was the deal with her and the flower man at the temple? I just feel like a lot of stuff was missing that would have helped me understand better what was happening. (Also she was an amazing sailor to have gotten through that storm.)

c. Parthibendran Pallava and his lightning-fast enmity to Vandiyadevan and then his baseless accusation that Arunmozhi Varman had sent Vandiyadevan to murder Aditha Karikalan. I mean, did he even meet either of them? Why did he think Arunmozhi wanted his brother dead? Was it all just from meeting Nandini THAT ONE TIME because bro, you need a slap if that's the case?

d. Madhurantakan - I was screaming at him (in my head) to realize that there would be no coup without bloodshed, GOD OF COURSE SOME OR ALL OF HIS BROTHER'S KIDS AND HIS BROTHER WOULD DIE. And the other kings wanted a puppet on the throne, not a warrior like Aditha or someone as popular as Arunmozhi (also a brave warrior). But finally Madhurantakan learned his lesson before he fully betrayed his kingdom and family and people. However, the bit about how he was administrating the kingdom for 25 years dropped in at the end was a bit sudden and I would have liked to know Arunmozhi’s thought process, even if it was just “hey I just want to go have adventures with Vandiyadevan because it’s super fun.” I would have also liked some evidence of said administration because they kept playing up his devotion to Shiva and not much else (though he clearly had the Shaivite warrior-mendicant vote SOWN UP! But I'm also confused because some - but not all - of those dudes appeared to be Secret Pandya Assassins, like the lady who attacked the Buddhist monastery and forced Arunmozhi to come out and show himself to the people and by people I mean assassins.) So I don't know ... Anyway, glad Madhurantakan came to his senses and did not side with the other kings against his family. While his reward for only being partially a traitor seemed disproportionate, on the other hand, I thought Arulmozhi was also smart to say that his sword and Vandiyadevan's would be backing up Uncle M so no one got any ideas and probably Kundavai would also be advising Uncle M about good administration. :D (It was kind of funny that Arulmozhi had to get the crowd to cheer for his uncle because they were all like *do not want**we want YOU, young victorious prince* but it’s a sign of his charisma that he got them to accept his uncle as king.)

e. The Pandya assassins were a bit reminiscent of Wile E. Coyote tbqh. All their plans kept not working out in spectacular ways. Is there some reason why no one tipped an arrow with poison or put poison in a cup of wine for Aditha who liked his wine or put poison on their swords so even if they nicked Arunmozhi they'd end up killing them? Do you sense a theme here? Was there some reason why the revenge had to involve actual beheading or it didn't count? Honestly, without Nandini they would have failed even more spectacularly. Also, after Nandini killed herself, what happened to the little Pandya boy king - Nandini's half-brother who swore vengeance? (FYI, I read somewhere - wish I could remember where - that Rajaraja Chola hunted down the assassins of his brother even as far as Indonesia.)

f. I was a little confused by all the uncles and grandparents and so on, like the white-haired general was the grandfather of the three Chola siblings, I assume their mother's father?

g. I would have liked some of the storylines more fleshed out (especially Mandakini's because that was very sudden and if she came and gave birth to Nandini in the Chola lands, how did Sundara Chola not know about this and I guess she spent time hanging out so she could save Arunmozhi when he fell in the water at home and abroad? Why did she care for him so much? Because he was like his father? That seems pretty generous. Anyway ...) If there is a director's cut that is five hours long for each film, PLEASE BRING IT ON. I would love to see it.

In conclusion - I LOVED both movies. This feels like a very special and great achievement, and I hope its success leads to more really good directors delving into South Indian history, like that of the Vijaynagara Empire (which is the subject of Salman Rushdie's latest novel which I haven't read yet.)

ETA: THE MUSIC. I loved it. I've been listening to some of it on a constant loop.

I'm now off to read the books and explore the filmography of Vikram, Trisha, Karthi and Jayam Ravi (if there are any films that are really awesome or really awful please let me know in the comments.) I have been meaning to get into South Indian cinema more and this was a great starting point.

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

every time i read a story where a character went through so much trauma and having to react to situations in a certain way because of said trauma, i dread opening up a comment section.

all because of one story i read a long time ago on wattpad (As Long As I Live - CrazyPunter) where a woman was severely abused by her husband and then the abuse suddenly stopped because of both of them going through car accidents (separately, first the husband then her) and majority of the comments after he started treating her better like he should've in the fucking first place were absolutely horrendous because apparently she was too forgiving and couldn't stand up for herself. like dudes, the girl has been stripped of all her finances, all her self worth and any familial support she had post-marriage because not only was she abused by her husband, most of his family piled on it too, along with her family hating her for lies surrounding her as well. how could they have expected her to instantly come out all strong female heroine after being brutalized so much??

anyway, my point is, people have a nasty habit of not taking into account the trauma characters go through and always want them to be all handy dandy about shit that gets thrown their way. which fucking sucks because it shows a genuine lack of empathy towards victims of abuse.

don't listen to that one commenter and that one anon. you're doing amazing with your fics. and if you complain about how people demonizing the way you write and demand you to change it, then you're well within your write to tell them to kick rocks.

It’s such a rampant problem!

I wrote something awhile back about someone who was in a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship and someone who read it actually told me that her best friend Bucky (who her abusive boyfriend completely isolated her from) should’ve been mean to her!!! And shouldn’t have helped her!!! it’s like these people think that victims of abuse choose to be abused. It’s very unsettling.

Thanks for this message, I really appreciate it 💕💕💕

[bucky-h0e]

A/n: Sam is now apart of the family! I am taking requests for this. I have a lot of scenarios lined up for this series and am very excited for it! I am creating a taglist so if you enjoy it and would like to get notified, please make sure ot ask!

Feedback is always welcome!

Serendipity Masterlist

Main Masterlist

How Sam met Alpine

It wasn't like Bucky was keeping Alpine a secret from Sam

No, it was the fact that for the longest time, Sam was sure Bucky got a cat

Bucky talked about Alpine a lot, normally just to vent about the weird ass shit she got up to

he thought it was pretty obvious that she was his neighbour

but I guess starting every daily conversation with "hey guess what Alpine did today..." like a proud stage mom doesn't help

It started off when Sam and Bucky had gone out for drinks a couple of weeks after Bucky and Alpine had their first 'family' dinner

"Alpine knocked over a few glasses today, just out of the blue. Completely for no reason."

"Shit happens i guess."

the next day, there was another thing

"So, Alpine just comes over and smacks my arm, like i was the one in the wrong. I didn't even do anything!"

sam laughs it off

"Kids these days man" Sam thinks it a funny joke because Bucky is a cat-dad

Bucky is confused because should a 21 year old just be smacking men?

is that a crime?

A few weeks later, they're training with the shield and Bucky shares more stories during their break

"I bought some straws, just cause my teeth were getting sensitive, with ice - shut the fuck up Sam, I know you have those weird ass straws that look like glasses - anyway, Alpine just keeps chewing them. Nothing else, just chewing."

Sam is starting to think that Bucky is going to start an Instagram account for this cat

"I also bought a plant yesterday, I went to the store for milk, came back and it had a bite mark in it."

"A bite mark?"

"Alpine BIT my plant. It's dead. She's a murderer Sam."

Honestly, Sam thought that either Bucky had never met a cat before

OR

Bucky adopted a crackhead instead of a cat

(little does he know, that's exactly what happened)

"So I wake up at 2AM yeah, there she is. Stood over me, staring at me, nibbling on a chip."

"Dude, get an exorcist or something, jesus christ"

Honestly, Sam was happy for Bucky

truly, he was

BUT if he had to hear anymore stories about this damn cat

he was going to sign up for a long mission abroad

maybe Greece

Athens

they have crimes, right?

And for a while, it was silent

Sam had invited Bucky to a family cookout and Bucky seemed to enjoy himself

he was getting along with Sam's family

playing with his nephews

honestly, he seemed happy

at the end of the day though, there was the mention of that damn cat

"Next time, I'll bring Alpine. She'd love this."

"That and she shouted at me for leaving her out."

he probably just meant that she was meowing and hissing at him

he suddenly liked this cat

i mean, how bad could it be if it was hissing at Bucky

then again

what was this sudden obsession with a cat

it was a bit worrying

it wasn't like it was a person he could talk to and laugh with

not like a friend

Bucky was on his way to become the crazy old cat lady from the 1940s

and as much as Sam wanted to see it

Steve would have killed him if he let Bucky do that to himself

a few months later, Sam decided to see what this whole weird relationship was between Bucky and his cat

see if he needed an intervention or something

of course Bucky was confused when there was a knock on the door

Alpine would have just burst in (she'd gotten very confident that he wouldn't just throw her out of the door)

it would be incredibly valid

he's even more confused when he opens it to Sam holding a packet of cat treats and a pack of beer

"Thought i'd drop in and see the little furball"

"furball- what?" it's too late

Sam is already walking around the flat going pspspsppsps

he's actually quite offended that Alpine didn't greet him at the door

what was her dad teaching her?!

"Sam... what are you doing."

"I'm calling for the devil, obviously"

"The devil? Sam-"

"Here kitty kitty"

HONESTLY

these men have zero communication skills

it's only when the devil herself walks into Bucky's flat holding a bunch of receipts that Sam looks at Bucky worriedly

who the fuck was this girl

why is she walking into his apartment

uninvited

holding receipts

"Hey Buck, I know thinks may have changed since the 40s but like... what are taxes and how do I pay them."

WHO IS THIS WOMAN?!

Bucky looks physically drained already

"Kid... have you not been paying your taxes?"

"Have you?"

"YES! IT'S ILLEGAL NOT TO!"

the girl deadass scoffs

"Ha, okay mr winter soldier."

"kid i sWEAR TO GOD"

she just mocked-

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS KID

"Who are you?"

"Oh! Falcon, Sam Wilson right? I'm Alpine."

Bucky rolls his eyes

He will find out her real name

one day

"You're human."

"..."

"..."

"I hadn't noticed that, thank you."

slowly, Sam haned her the cat treats and she just nodded

though she looked at Bucky like

wtf

is this an avengers thing?

is she being indoctrinated?

she cant fight

she would literally die

she has the fighting capability of a raw pork sausage

the most she could do was T pose at them

"Thank.... you?"

"I thought you were a cat..."

a moment of silence

".... why?"

"I mean... there was the time you knocked over the glasses"

"they were disgusting, it was a mercy killing"

"you bit his plant"

"Killed my plant"

"i didn't like the way it was looking at me, it was giving very Loki in 2012 trying to take over Stark tower vibes."

"plants... plants don't have eyes"

"And Loki was just a myth, now here we are."

Sam can't put his frustration into words and Bucky is grinning

because FINALLY

someone else gets to deal with this kid

"Buck I thought you had a cat"

"I'm allergic to cats Sam"

Of course he is

he couldn't have just gotten a dog

or a bird

maybe even a lizard

but no

he had to just adopt a random kid

a random kid.... that was trying to eat cat treats

"HEY!"

Bucky never turned so quickly to grab the packet of treats

"Alpine, no!"

honestly she's pissed

she just wanted to do her taxes

then she met Sam

but then he presented her with the chance to eat some cat treats?

she was just curious

intrusive thoughts always win with Alpine

damn

sulking, she sits herself down on the couch, watching as Bucky chucks the treats on the chair next to it

Sam stands with his arms crossed, still confused as hell

"What kind of a name is Alpine? You some sort of agent or something? Or are your parents just weird?"

"bro i don't know, ask bucky"

Sam looks scandalised

Bucky named a random girl in his building

"Bucky wtf man"

"Not like that, it sounds weird when you say it like that"

"Buck a random kid just walks into your- WHY IS SHE EATING THE CAT TREATS?!"

Bucky has never tackled anyone so fast

"ALPINE!"

Sam can't believe his eyes

he didn't know if a cat was better or worse

but, he had to admit

watching Bucky struggle, in all his super soldier strength, to get Alpine to stop eating things designed for animals?

that shit was entertaining

It was obvious that they were close

fighting like siblings

Bucky cared enough about her to make her stop eating shit not meant for humans

Bucky seemed happy

and that was good enough for Sam

besides

they could terrorise this man together and never get bored

[james-carslut]

Barbie Review ⚠️Spoilers Ahead⚠️

Greta did such an amazing job depicting what growing up and self-actualisation into womanhood feels to a girl as soon as Barbie enters the Real World. I just Felt So Much and I wanted to say my piece cause yes growing up- the tragedy to be congratulated for, how do we see it, what is it, how to represent it, the multi-facets of it, etc etc. But I mostly just wanted to talk about the part where Barbie just enters the Real World because-

1. The Male Gaze

sorry not sorry but the gaze is the first thing that Barbie feels is seriously off. Her literal reaction is 'i am conscious of myself because I am subjected to something that is violent' and as soon as i heard those words I knew I'm in for a cathartic montage of empathy towards my kid self cause now what i felt is in actual words and it's so nice to have a description from a child's vocabulary. I know what the gaze is and it's definition and all the terms but to have someone going through that same uncomfortable actualisation and trying to put it into words while my adult self just looks on at the screen, riveted and sad, yes.

2. The Conditioning

The normalisation of catcalling and general invasive genital questioning, public assault, punishment of self defense, realisation that systems of public protection are sources of further private attack (the cops further harassing Barbie), being broke whoops and being punished again (cough cough homelessness as a crime cough I see what you did there with the feminist agenda Greta cough), further sexualisation, all of it. A girls eyes opening to the Real World. For many of us, this was a moment when we tried to help an adult by saying "let's call the police" or "i can just ask the man to give it to me- money? I don't have money?" and then got Informed.

3. The Cynic Shakedown

Barbie talking to the schoolgirl was the moment when I took my painting to the teacher and she dismissed it saying the sky isn't pink. It was the moment when you turn to friends and they say "do you even care". It was the moment when you want to say 'I like that' and you don't (literally what happens in the movie). It's getting your heart broken by the cynic and it's the loss of innocence, it's a rite of passage and it's the beginning of how people curl into themselves in that moment and become the cynic so they don't feel it like that again. It's when you start being cruel to your mother and you start wanting to be right over being kind. It's inevitable. And it's also :(

4. The Negotiation

Finally some form of authority that can take accountability for this wrongness- wait this is off too- where are the women, what's your agenda- I'm sorry Mr. Man Dude what did you say you specialise in??- I'm so sorry that you feel I wronged you I swear that what not what I intended- no I genuinely didn't try to wrong you I'm sorry- okay I can fit in the box, i remember the box, it was okay- wow this box is very nostalgic haha except hold on, something's off and I really can't shake it off this time Mr. Man Dude- no wait please this box is claustrophobic- hold on a second you're all surrounding me and I just took a step back, i didn't step into the box willingly- wait wait why aren't you listening- can you please stop talking over me- wait please no I don't want to be in the box-

......... -hey hi haha let me just fix my hair please at least allow me to do that oh no I can't think of escaping because I can't think yes you're right I can't think at all except about my hair sometimes and I can't escape anyway because you see I know that I'm meant to be the damsel in distress and yes of course it's perfectly alright if you distress me just please allow me to step out for a second to fix my hair and: Mad Dash To Survival.

5. What is it for What am I for Why What does it all mean Why Why Just why

Despair as a level of puberty. And then being offered kindness, company, solace, empathy, comradry, being seen, being comforted. The oh, this is what it's all for, the in-betweens. These things don't just make it possible to rest before getting up to fight again, they are the reason why we fight. Why we get up everyday and outperform and then wonder if we're capable and do the same old same old Every. Single. Day. On repeat. And still feeling so alone but at least having carved out something resembling a purpose. A wish. A desire. Something to take a step for.

(and here, when Barbie meets Ruth for the first time do I understand the opening credits. The kitchen table to a woman that is the monolith the the ape. A space to rest, love, create, live, make, care and care and care.)

6. Communism

Comradry. "Get in Barbie!" And the Opening Up and The Bond and the i-know-what-you-meant looks and the hand-in-hand and the 'i'll do it for you even if I can't do it for me' and the 'you feel this too!!' and the reason why the death of friendships hurt in a place where lovers can never reach. Women. Solidarity. The helping hand. The divine Other but she is not the other, she is you, she is her, she is irrevocably human and faulted and yet she's here and she's lonely too, she's Barbie. She's me.

(ugh I'm tearing up and yeah I cried in the movie, the trees, the old lady, the mom's monologue, the final talk with Ruth, it all just got to me okay. The movie was exactly what I expected it to be and what I wanted it to be and it was perfect like Barbie)

I'm not complaining because everything I'm describing is just what growing up felt like. It felt like a hit after hit after hit of alienation from the world and from oneself and from security. And then there's the other side of tunnel, the perks of adulthood and having fun being a woman in a post-Barbie era. The falling in love with pink again, adult sleepovers, feeling like a Barbie when you rearrange the first house you rent, pretty stuff, strong stuff, kind stuff. And making boundaries with all the Ken's in a way that's fair to both you and the Ken and doing the work to be happy. Yeah. Thank you Greta.

[bam-monsterhospital]

hang on gotta ramble about the strawhat interpretations in this show and how wonderful they are in the live action. also y'know, put any worries to rest?

zorp

i was so worried at first that they'd only focus on making him a stoic badass and all the wonderful bits about zoro that makes him zoro would be lost

i didn't need to worry

zoro THINKS he's a badass. and yeah sometimes he's right. but it becomes very clear very quickly that this man is a fucking disaster. an absolute mess.

he's KIND.

a dork. sees a lil girl with her tray of horrible riceballs and is like 'omg a child. plz nooooooooo', and then instantly like 180s and is all 'brb cheering up this lil goober, nothing can stop me.'

he PAYS ATTENTION. he notices shit! y'know, that thing that zoro does? that characteristic? yeah! Also nice to see where his mind goes when him and nami try to guess each others' backstories; like her, he assumes the worst in people.

he emotes. he mopes over lack of alcohol like a fuckin idiot, he laughs open and freely often, he smiles, he gets startled, he has a thousand yard stare when he realizes just what kind of bullshit he's involved himself in when it comes to luffy.

hIS DEVOTION TO LUFFY. aaaaaaaaaaa. this is the big thing right? zoro's big turning point and it did not disappoint. He's genuine and raw with his delcaration to luffy, knowing the support luffy needs at that moment (aaaaaah, see? he notices things!) and reassuring/encouraging him. ffffffffuck. Then later on he fuckin checks up on luffy to see if he needs to talk. Will follow him to th ends of the earth into hell and right back out again vibes. it's perfect.

he's entertainingly petty. quick lil word jabs at sanji, unprompted. beautiful.

Loofs

what is there to say? if you don't already know, just watch. This is luffy. this is the best luffy. this is a precious bab personified sunshine. Everything you ever liked about luffy? Here, accounted for, amplified.

Namnams the boss

reminded me why i initially adored nami in the first place.

she's herding cats 24/7

assumes the worst in people, very cynical, is all 'nuuu fuck you y'all are garbage', but then when you blink she's exposing her bleeding heart gooey center, regretting everything about everything.

trying not to care, but cares so fuckin much omg, she's kind. she's so kind.

Usoppppppppppp

oh Ussop. Ussopp. Fantastic.

all of usopp's best traits, TAKEN UP TO 11

KIND

full of life and energy and joy like luffy, backs down and regrets life choices on a daily basis, cARES SO MUCH AAAAAAAAA

can we get a collection of his stories? he's really entertaining. like VERY entertaining, also if you're not paying attention to what he's saying you could easily initially buy what he's selling... until he brings his lies into ridiculous territories xD

excellent at quick thinking. thinks on his feet, fly by the seat of his pants, he'S USOPP.

also. ahem. he's very pretty.

does not want to be in the fight scenes but runs in anyways.

snergle

he's not gross. he's not creepy. he's not a raving misogynist. omg.

it feels like his main reaction to pretty womenz is being completely enamored. like he's just mesmerized by his own idea of women as a fantasy fey being glittering in front of him.

actually charming? WHAT? he knows how to actually be charismatic/charming? TO A WIMMENZ? WHAT IS THIS NOW? WHERE HAS THIS BEEN, ODA? HEY. TAKE. NOTE.

sooooooooo full of smiles and laughs.

wears his heart on his sleeve, ALL emotions out front nothing hidden, nothing held back.

KIND. hmmm, i'm noticing a trend here.

very obviously cares about people.

still an idiot, like, this was a given. i want to make it clear he's not some suave fucker, no, this boy a dorkus who rolled high in luck and smiles and it's been helping a lot.

so emotional. and unlike most media where 'emotional' on a dude looks like rage grump murder hobo badass, here instead it's like a fuckin breath of fresh air. it's not toxic. it's just... genuine? is that the word i'm looking for? hmmm.

it's obvious he cares deeply for luffy. and fuck man, i really miss that for sanji.

i'm sure i had more to say, but i've rambled enough for now.

[lesless]

🤖

Re re re quit nicotine. Talked to my partner & was like dude I need you to be done with this so I don’t backslide bc I do fine on my own & then you make a decision which I can’t keep being responsible for bc I “have more willpower” at this point I don’t have any willpower left bc it feels like this hopeless eternal cycle when you keep going back to it & im eternally exposed to it so i do it too. I’m so frustrated by it & it’s fucking up my hormones & messing with my mental health like I’m asking you to be accountable & at first he got butthurt bc he’s not used to adult conversations & that seems to be his knee jerk reaction every time I ask him to be accountable but as of yesterday he seemed to understand so that’s good. Take my tone with a grain of salt I’m dealing with withdrawal in real time & I’m so incredibly irritable & I just have to wait for it to pass.

Like I’m proud of him for working through his knee jerk reactions consistently, he definitely does separate & return to be accountable when he has a Mood. but IN GENERAL I’m SO fucking tired of people who can’t handle a direct conversation but then “hate passive aggression” like you have to be a welcome space for open & honest communication OR people are gonna be cunts to you bc you can’t communicate. & he’s typically very good at having these conversations but there’s a select few topics he just won’t have a direct chat about & it really really frustrates me. One of them is minor & silly but the other is kinda big & they annoy me for different reasons. Like we’re mid 30’s dude get over it? But then I get frustrated that I’m not more patient that everyone’s journey is different & growth is not a consistent metric across the board so people get better at some things before others & blah blah blah whatever.

Why did I do all this work to mature & now I am accountable for all these people who don’t do the work like that was a rude double cross. I know my life is happier for working towards understanding & peace but also now I have to do that for everyone? Lame.

Also I’m sure I’m immature in a lot of ways I don’t personally see that he has to deal with but dude I just want to be bitchy without caveats but here I am understanding the perspective of the other bc I went to therapy 6 years ago & took it to heart. 🙄

I really don’t want to go work on the property this weekend either, not even a little, & he wants me to drive 2 hours to clean ceiling tiles & I understand it would look good to his parents but you know what lately I’ve just felt like I’m on the periphery of everyone’s priorities & feeling really lonely (ALSO probably bc my hormones are fucked up from the start stop start stop) & obviously their kid is their priority not the girl he’s dating & I didn’t get so much as a thank you when I worked my ass off over spring break week until days after I left when I texted them about something unrelated (which they still didn’t do). It’s FINE I’m FINE I’m just super grumpy.

Anyway I bought a bunch of supplements to hopefully assist my body in rebalancing my hormones & I’m really hoping it helps. I’m gonna be Healthy Lauren for this whole month & take my vitamins probiotics walk sleep enough not drink etc to see if I can avoid the mental spiral that came with my last cycle.

& now that I’m calming down at the end of this rant I feel guilty for being so annoyed at my partner bc I love him dearly even though right now I want to both snuggle him & beat him with a spatula. Feeling very complex today.

[the-scrappy-stinger]

We open up to Honda being a mood.

This is Honda, and he's a business guy. He doesn't wanna go to the old okonomiyaki place with his high school buddies because he's bored gossiping about old girlfriends and passed memories. They make him go anyway. Along the way... they avoid KitKat.

Heading off to the old place, the shop is deserted, dirty, and run by the shopkeeper's only daughter. So what's basically the first place she does when they walk into the store?

What is it with this manga and women running restaurants? To be fair, she doesn't WANT to, her dad's just in the hospital. And she's got a toddler at home, and her husband works full time at a DIFFERENT restaurant as the head chef, and she's still expected to be a homemaker, so yeah, she actually has it rough.

So they all agree to help. Honda the grump is... not as agreed, but onboard in his own very food-tsundere way.

So of course he goes to the MEETING OF THE HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH TO SAVE THE OKONOMIYAKI PLand nobody else shows up. Figures. Honda the grump is alone.

AND OH NO, CUSTOMERS. AND HE DIDN'T READ THE RECIPE. I think I've had this nightmare. SO he sucks at it. KitKat comes over to borrow some flour and even though Honda the grump isn't the owner, he has a speech.

Weeping like my co so then a fuckin' yakuza boss comes in for food, because why the fuck is this place still getting reservations if the owner's been laid up for months- anyway so the yakuza boss nearly throws Honda into the back of a car to fuckin' kill him or whatever and KitKat's like "stop it. We're gonna use words."

And these guys were willing to kill Honda because he told them he didn't work there and the restaurant was closed because the owner's kid had the flu. ANd they're street food vendors.

Thus is the world of KitKat Jesus. (The Jesus part we're getting to, just stick with me.)

I have never related harder to a character in this manga in my life.

So KitKat's like "Look if you're here to shakedown for flavor THIS hard, let me try making the recipe. Honda you stay you have to taste test" and Honda's like "damn it!" because he is LITERALLY walking out the door! KitKat reads the recipe and goes "Wait... this is way too basic, this can't be right" and it turns out he's right, because despite living in the shop her whole life and watching her dad cook every day she didn't know the recipe.

So the street vendors are like "You should sell this at the food fair tomorrow!" and KitKat's like "... hell, why not?". Honda's like "okay i'm fucking LEAVING NOW THANK YOU" and the street vendors go "Hey wait aren't you a government worker? You know your job would be way easier if you did public work and people saw your face" and Honda's like "... ... sign me up."

They got the owner's daughter's permission, though, that's okay.

This next chapter's actually kind of cook- I mean cool! Freudian hungry. But KitKat talks about how food stall cooking is different from restaurant cooking, because you have to take into account eating on the go. Honda the grump is put on the cabbage cutter machine to help and bemoans that he wasn't allowed to eat street food as a kid.

Guy's just got opinions about fuckin' everything.

Honda the temporarily-asshole-for-the-plot decides to just go... LITERALLY grab customers out of someone else's line to force them to eat at his stall.

And starts a fight.

I'm starting to think the author has a low opinion of street food vendors.

OH wait no, I was wrong, they are ALSO the mafia. And street food vendors. Yeah there we go. No wonder Honda wasn't allowed to eat street food...

(skims ahead) oh god I'm gonna run out of pictures again- SO TO SUM UP:

The Capo wants to put the screws to Honda the grump because he tried to cheat at food stalls, so he has his two lancers, big dudes who cook fast, give him a bunch of okonomiyaki to sell before sunset, but KitKat's like "you bitch, you gave him shitty food to sell so you could kick his ass later".

Honda at this point must be like "I wouldn't be in this situation if everybody else hadn't flaked out on me, christ".

OH well, only one way to settle it.

And Honda the... weirdly malleable personality for the plot is like "I am so moved by this cook-off between two rival food mafia gangs that I volunteer to be the chef".

And so KitKat's like "Okay". TRAINING

Honda the singer now apparently has to sing ONLY this song for the next two days.

It's supposed to help him improve his internal clock so he doesn't have to look at his watch while he's cooking. Three minutes to cook on one side, six minutes on the other. ... thing is.

This song's been covered a LOT. And most of them aren't 3 minutes long. Most of them are REALLY fuckin' short actually. Fun little bop though!

Must be this version.

Hey, me too, guy!!!

So the training continues, and on the day of the cook-off-

Sooey sooey, soodada-lata, soodada-lata sooey sooey!~

And his place is a hit! Because-

It's in easy-to-eat pieces!

So he wins the contest- wait whatever happened to the restaurant?? WELL LEMME TELL YOU!

Honda the better goes back to his normal job.

Honda's buddies realize that they forgot about the plot for TWO WEEKS.

Buncha assholes!

And... Honda has quit his well-paying government office job... to work the okonomiyaki bar.

I mean... Not judging but... like, benefits? Vacation days? ... not going home at night smelling like cooking oil? Just a thought...

Story arc length: 9 chapters.

[useless-bi-otch]

Cookies'n Cream - Chapter 17

Last chapter / MasterList / art by @aneenasevla

Chapter 17 - Vortex

TIMELINE: This chapter takes place at the same time as Heavy Bakery’s Chapter 27, under a different POV. You can read it here  

"Please..."

"No."

"Come on, man, please!"

"I already told you no, damn it!"

"Fucking hell, dude!," Rihito shouts, throwing his arms up in frustration, making some pigeons that pecked on the sidewalk take flight in fright. "When it comes to helping Okubo you go all out, but when it's my turn, you couldn't give a single fuck!"

“And how the hell are we going to help you if you refuse to make the first move, you idiot?," Himuro rebuts impatiently, quickly pulling his phone away from Rihito's grasp, who stretched out his hands in an attempt to grab it by force. "You know what you have to do, if you want that girl's contact that much."

"No! I'm not going to create an Instagram account just to slide into a chick's DMs," Rihito twists his whole face in disguste. Kaneda sighs heavily.

"What's your problem with Instagram, exactly? It's just a social network..."

"A sissy social network where you only find pictures of food, kittens and motivational phrases for moody teens. I have too much respect for my manhood to put up with that,” Rihito rolls his eyes, and that elicits a chorus of groans.

"You say that, but you're here, giving me hell so you can use my account to hunt down this girl's profile," Himuro puts his phone in his shirt pocket. "And why does it have to be mine, anyway?"

"And you still ask? Don't you remember how there were like five or six girls asking for your DMs after Miss Uta posted that picture? That pretty boy face of yours is a chick magnet, as much as I hate to admit it."

"Do you seriously want to use my face to catfish a girl? Hell no! And if you don't cut that out, I'll fuck you up," Himuro threatens, to which Rihito puts his arms in front of his face in a defensive position, grinding his teeth.

"Damn it, didn't I told you that I just got out of a Kengan match? I won, but I still toke some blows that left me sore, so I can't go all out on you now!"

"Stop being such a pansy. If you didn't want us to open a can of whoop-ass on you, then you shouldn't get on everyone's nerves so early," Okubo, who was walking behind, jokes. Rihito flips him the bird, ignoring the disapproving glances from passers-by passing them on the sidewalk.

"Shut up, you're another fair weather friend! What would it cost you to ask Miss Uta to cut me some slack and give me her friend's number?"

"It'd cost me what I've been trying to maintain all these weeks, you obsessed sicko! Do you think I'm in a position to ask her something like that?"

"More than any of us! You two went out other times since that second date, there's some intimacy settling in," Rihito shrugs as the four of them stop in front of the red light for pedestrians. "Want me to be honest? You haven't banged her yet only because you're a sucker. If you already had, you could ask for anything and she'd say yes."

"Screw you, man," Okubo grumbles while Himuro rolls his eyes and Kaneda scratches his hair tiredly. "You think I have a magic dick or something? And anyway, Tomori is very protective of her friend, from what I've gathered. I respect this. Just do what Himuro and Kaneda said and create a fucking account already."

"Is that all you have to tell me?" You ungrateful bastard..."

"Fuck, Rihito, what do you want me to do?," Okubo opens his arms in frustration, almost hitting Kaneda's nose, who had to dodge with an irritated expression. "You want me to put on my best shameless face and ask her for her friend's number? And what if she gets angry at me? Do you really wanna ruin something that you yourself helped to build?"

"Hell no! Your weeping would be unbearable."

"Then forget about it! I can still try to help ya, but let's think of something that doesn't involve me ruining the best thing that's happened to me in the last few years!"

Rihito frowns and pouts, appearing to be thinking hard. And at the same time that the light turns green, he reaches into the right pocket of Okubo's pants with an expression of feigned innocence.

"You could let me use your profile then, since Himuro vetoed his..."

"That's fucking enough! Holy shit, man, you're more annoying than usual!," Himuro yells, hitting Rihito in the ribs with a precise jab, to which he lets out a yelp.

"Aargh! That's one of the sorest places, you son of a bitch!"

"Not even I can stand this anymore!," Kaneda also lost his patience, hitting Rihito's stomach with a palm blow, and he get out of breath.

"Ow! E-Even you, you lil' fucker?!

"You're to blame for getting on our fuckin' nerves!," Okubo cracks his fists, snarling. "Trying to grab my phone was the last straw! Now you'll get your ass kicked 'till we reach Yamashita's office, asshole!"

"Damn it, I hate you guys- argh! Cut it out, you- ouch! Just wait until I feel better, you shitheads!," Rihito was screaming and threatening them while trying to escape the kicks, punches and nudges that fell on him, the four of them crossing the crosswalk like crabs, walking sideways and providing quite a show for the astonished passersby around.

They had to stop after being spotted by two policemen, who threatened to take them to the police station if they didn't put an end to their stupid antics. But the punishment was duly administered, and when they finally reached Kazuo's office, Rihito was hugging his torso, whimpering and even limping a little.

"… Should I ask?," The old man asks, a bit exasperated, staring at them from behind his desk. Kaede, standing by the door, adjusts her glasses, unimpressed.

"There is no need. Whatever the reason, Rihito probably deserved it."

"C'mon, Kaede, that's mean…," Rihito pouted. "Just for that you won't be invited to dinner in the company of a great name of the Kengan matches."

“Tell him to ask me out himself instead of making you his errand boy."

"... I was talking about myself."

"I know."

"Hey, did I hear that right? You won a match, Ichiro?," They hear Ohma's voice, as he returned to the office with a glass of water. "Congratulations for doing the bare minimum."

"It's Rihito, Seaweed Head! We already talked about this, damn it!," Rihito shouts indignantly, barely managing to overcome the loud laughter of the others. "And of course I won, what are you thinking? It was the reason I came. Kazzy, my man, I hope the paperwork for my newest aquisition is ready," He smiles excitedly, and Kazuo nods.

"Oh yes, they already are! They're in the files, Ms. Akiyama will pick them up. And you two are here to renew your licenses, right?," He looks at Himuro and Kaneda, and they nod.

"Yep. The last thing we want is to screw with Mr. Ohya's business and consequently ours," Himuro points to the Kaneda, who laughs softly.

"Exactly! And he asked us to let you know that he invited you to a night out at Dai-Uchu-Sakaba next weekend."

"Ahaha, if I'm free by then, I'll accept it! And what about you, Okubo?," Kazuo turns to Okubo. "What are you here for? Mr. Atami has already renewed your license for the next three years, if you're worried about that..."

"Oh no, I’m fine," Okubo shakes a hand, scratching the back of his head with the other. "I’m just following these three today, we agreed to go eat later…"

"Are you going to the Bakery?," Ohma raises his head. "I was already going there. We can go together."

"Whe barely mentioned the sugar shack and Tokita is already having the munchies," Rihito jokes while Himuro and Kaneda pick up pens to sign the papers Kazuo handed them. "Come with us then, dude, it’s been a good few days since we last talked! Tell me, how is your housing situation? Did you get a place to stay or are you under a bridge?"

Kazuo has a brief coughing fit, which he disguises by taking a few sips of the water Kaede offers him.

"I was going to go back to my mansion but they demolished it," He shrugs. "But I found a better place, I just can't take you there because the landlord doesn't allow it. At least not yet."

"Wow, that sucks," Rihito comments, his hands on his hips, while Okubo crosses his arms with a sympathetic expression. None of them noticed the discreet sigh of relief that Kazuo gave while briefly wiping his forehead with a handkerchief. "But honestly, Tokita, it was better that way. That mansion was falling apart. I remember how easy it was for Ivan and I to break in..."

"The old mansion was nice, but it wasn't even mine, it belonged to nobody and I was there, so it's easy to break in," Ohma shrugs.

"Your assuredness while talking about invasion and illegal occupation of private property is impressive…," Kaede comments, and Okubo laughs while Himuro and Kaneda raise their heads after finishing with their signatures.

"Come with us then, Tokita! Then you can talk more about your new place while we can't see it with our own eyes," Himuro suggests.

Ohma waves to Kazuo as he leaves with the guys.

"Nah, there’s nothing special, the house is just like Yamashitakazuo's, only it has fewer rooms and bigger spaces," Ohma comments, already walking with them. "It’s really nice, I pay the bills and the landlord helps me with the cleaning."

"Wait, the landlord help with cleaning? Damn, give me his number, sounds like the kind of place I'd love to move to!," Rihito jokes while they go down the stairs. They hear Kazuo call from upstairs, his voice rising:

"Rihito, don't forget that you also need to renew your two employees' licenses! They are now fighters for the association under your name!"

"I know, Kazzy, chill out!," Rihito answers calmly, without turning around, while the five of them leave the office. Soon they were on their way to the bakery, which fortunately was not far from there.

"There's only one room available, sorry," Ohma says with a half, almost mischievous smile. "So, tell me about the match. How did Ichiro fare?"

"He did good, according to him, but it's hard to believe, considering that we beat the shit outta him just now and he couldn't even defend himself," Himuro jokes, and easily dodges when Rihito tries to hit him with a clumsy kick, the pain getting in his way.

"It's easy when it's three against one, you fucker! But yes, Tokita, I fucking rocked it in that match!," He exclaims excitedly, and he spends the next few minutes describing the match in detail, while they walk towards the bakery. Okubo was particularly excited to get there; besides the food, there was also a very important person waiting for him. And if he'd been paying attention, he'd have noticed that Ohma seemed to be quickening his pace as well.

"... you say it was a piece of cake, but we can see the bruise on your ribs when you raise your arms like that," Himuro was saying, to which Rihito laughs.

“No, man, I'm telling you, the guy only managed to hit me by luck! I managed to get there and make him shut up, hahaha, the arena shook with their cheers…”

“Too bad I couldn't see that” Okubo smiles at his friend, and Himuro and Kaneda laugh along with him.

“I’ll only believe it when I see it, man,” Himuro jokes. “So far I've only seen you losing…”

“That's why I don't invite you anymore, damn, you just bring me bad luck” Rihito jokes too, and the four of them stand there, laughing like idiots, while Ohma just smiles. Okubo didn't know if he was seeing things, but the seaweed head had been smiling more lately. Maybe it was just the product of his very fertile imagination, driven by the honeymoon phase he was living…

“So, are you going out with your little friend again and leaving us behind?”

Kaneda's question makes him turn his head quickly, surprised and a little embarrassed. It's been a few days since those idiots started referring to Tomori as his “little friend”, just to tease him and make it clear that he wasn't deceiving them about his intentions; even Kaneda had joined in, which put him at a numerical disadvantage. He decides to respond normally to not give them weapons to use against him.

“Oh, I don’t know. Do you have any plans?”

“Well, I’ve got a new game at home, if you feel like…” Kaneda offers. “It's Biohazard 8...”

"Really? Cool! PC or console?," He asks excitedly as they walk towards the bakery door.

"Console! The price dropped a lot at the store close to my place."

"Boy, you're such a lucky bastard!," Rihito gives him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder. "I'd have to sell my right eye and my left nut to buy something like this."

"So let's celebrate Rihito's victory at Kaneda's place, I'll bring some beers and... what's up, Ohma?," Himuro was about to say, but pauses, surprised, when Ohma enters the door without waiting for them, taking hard steps, his shoulders stiff, his fists clenched tightly. The bell rings as the door closes again, and the four of them look at each other in bewilderment.

"What the hell happened to Tokita?," Rihito asks, to which Okubo shakes his head.

"I don't know, but it doesn't look good. C'mon, maybe he needs assistance," He nods, and they all march to the door, the bell ringing overhead again.

They are welcomed by a familiar scene: Kanami, with a firmly frowning face, facing what appears to be a customer who seems to be a delinquent, aboard the classic combo of topknot and leather jacket. They watch his expression change from smug to scared as he notices Ohma, who has stopped right behind the baker, a dangerous aura surrounding him.

"Wow, where did this giant come from?," He exclaims. "Hey man, am I blocking the traffic, by any chance?”

“You’re bothering her,” Ohma approaches, bending down a little to look him in the eyes, the aura manifesting. “Get out.”

The guy cringes and raises his hands “okay, sorry, I didn't know she was yours…”

“Hey!,” Kanami exclaims, outraged, and that was all it took for the four idiots to decide to interfere. Holy shit, was this establishment some kind of magnet for harassers or something?

“Hey, what's going on?,” Rihito asks, crossing his arms.

“Is the guy bothering you, Miss Kana?” Okubo punches his hand, snapping his fingers “We clean up the trash, you can relax,” He promises, and he wasn't going to lie to himself, that opportunity seemed like a godsend. If beating the crap out of a clueless asshole would help him regain points with the boss and friend of the girl he liked, then he'd gladly do it.

“Yeah, this one stinks…” Ohma almost growls, the guy's eyes widen when he sees the three of them and finally surrenders, now feeling he pissed off the wrong people.

Rihito pretends to lunge at him, and he yelps in response, now flying off. They follow him with their eyes, frowning, Kaneda giving a small sigh of relief that things haven't gotten out of hand; they had already been warned by the police that day, and a second time might not end up so well on their records.

"Oh… thanks boys, but…," Kanami mutters suddenly, making them turn to her again. She looked troubled, even a little upset, which apparently didn't go unnoticed by Ohma, although her expression remained neutral.

"Are you okay?," He asks, while Rihito tries to open a friendlier smile.

"We arrived just in time!"

"I am, thanks. I could handle it, but I…," She blushes, looking like she doesn't know what to say, and Okubo ends up feeling sorry for her. He claps Ohma on the back, smiling playfully.

“Ohma, calm down man, if we hadn't butted in, you'd have ground the guy to dust."

Ohma sighs and turns around. "I'm still pissed, stop."

Okubo raises his hands in surrender, half alert. Ohma turns around and sits at the table where the guy was before. Okubo exchanges a brief look with Rihito, both of them making sure they've seen the same thing, before turning to Himuro, who simply shrugs. Kaneda, as usual, is the most tactful.

"I think we all need to calm down. Everyone knows that Ohma gets angry when someone get in the way of his meal," he smiles, and everyone else gives a sign of understanding. "Miss Kanami, good afternoon, we're here for diner".

"Oh, yes, I already got it," Kanami nods, gesturing with a small sigh. "Eh… Tomoyo was the one being bothered, she's inside with Tomori..."

"What, really?," Okubo turns around, widening his eyes a little. Damn, the guy had to be one hell of a creep to hit on a teenage girl! And if he had tried the same with Tomori… he would probably have turned red with rage if Kanami hadn't raised her hands to reassure him.

"Relax, she's fine. I was just pushing him away when you arrived. Cute, but not my type."

The four of them end up laughing, Okubo breaking his laugh with a brief sigh of relief. Thank god… he would still make sure they were both okay, anyway, even if it was just for conscience sake. Kanami hands them the menu.

"I'll be serving you today, so you can order directly with me."

They place their orders, and soon Kanami leaves them there, standing next to the table that Ohma occupied. He remained silent, his expression closed. They look at each other quickly before sitting down at the table with him.

"Hey, Kelpthulu, are you still mad?," Rihito asks. The other shakes his head.

"No," He answers, a little curtly, but not rudely. It was a relief, in a way.

"Great," Himuro nods. "Because you aren't usually like this."

"Well, she's our friend, right, guys?," Kaneda says, ever the peacemaker. Ohma was only the first to see them. I'm sure everyone here would act..."

"Yeah, but don't you think she would be able to act on her own in this situation?," Himuro frowns.

"Yeah, man, she's an Amazon and all, but what does it cost us to be friends?," Rihito defends. "Tokita just did it..."

"Yes, but if we didn't interfere and let it happen,  Seaweedhead here would grind the guy, and it could cause problems for the bakery staff, and for Miss Kanami too,” Himuro speaks in a low voice.

This causes the other three to widen their eyes.

"Wait a minute, Ohma, were you really going to do that?," Okubo asks anxiously. There was no way Seaweed Brains could be that clueless…

"No…," Ohma grumbles, and Okubo smiles in relief.

“That’s what I thought...”

"Just break a few bones."

"No, man!," He exclaims with a grimace. Fuck, why did he even ask?!

"Damn bro, I've seen you get pissed, but over a loaf of bread?," Rihito laughs, and Himuro rolls his eyes.

"The girl makes the bread he eats, man..."

"Heh, even so," Rihito crosses his arms.

"Why am I always the subject of the table when I'm here?," Ohma looks at them. "Am I some kind of exotic animal, by any chance?"

Okubo, Himuro and Kaneda clear their throats at this, suddenly embarrassed. Rihito didn't have that consideration though. He continues to laugh lightheartedly.

"Well, you kinda are a rare specimen…," He starts mockingly, but he shuts up the instant Ohma shoots him a sharp look in mute warning. Seriously, what the hell was getting into him that day?

"Here, guys, sorry for the delay!"

Kanami's voice interrupts them in their inner questioning. She had been bringing their orders on trays, skillfully balancing them on her hands and arms. "Tomoyo's back at work, crisis averted. Thank you.,” She smiles, handing Ohma's tray last. His sour expression disappears when he looks at her. Okubo is distracted by his own order, all happy to see the cookies, on a separate plate. But even so, he couldn't help noticing how Kaneda and Himuro glanced at each other quickly, nodding in what appeared to be mutual understanding. The later then chuckles behind the sleeve of his robes, while the former shows a lot of interest in his croissants.

He turns to Rihito, wanting to check if he saw the same, but he was totally absorbed in his sandwich, kind of avoiding facing Ohma after the death glare he received. Okubo huffs, a little frustrated. Shit, he hated being left out of inside jokes!

"Hey, Ohma," Himuro calls suddenly. "You must have eaten the whole menu already, right?"

Ohma nods, uninterested, and Himuro follows suit.

"How long has it been? Six months?"

"Eight."

"Wow, it's been a long time," Kaneda comments. "And you come here often?"

"Why not? The food is tasty."

Okubo raises his eyebrows, and this time Rihito imitates him. The later ends up shrugging, and it's the former's turn to imitate him. If they weren't going to let them know about the conversation, he wouldn't worry about it. Kaneda continues:

"What about that Yakiniku restaurant you like?"

"What about it?," Ohma looks up from the food. "Wanna go there after eating here?"

"Hnmm…," Himuro suddenly mutters, looking frustrated. He looks away, but Kaneda continues, with a little more insistence.

"I've seen you less there, it seems that you found another place to eat…"

"Missing me much? I'll follow you there, man, don't fret."

"Nah, no, I was talking about you not talking to us anymore, not hanging out with us like you used to..."

"I've been busy," he nods. "Matches and such.”

"Does this 'such' include crushing on Miss Kanami too?"

The reaction from everyone around the table is immediate and distinct: Rihito widens his eyes, jaw dropping, while Okubo almost drops his plate of cookies in astonishment. Himuro looked like he desperately wanted a smoke, while Ohma's expression hardened like stone, his eyes bulging. Kaneda smiles, very pleased with the effect he elicited, and Okubo wants to grab him by the dividers of his robes and shake him.

How could he drop that bomb on their heads like that, in the middle of their fucking meal?! Ohma, having a crush on Kanami? In what universe would Seaweed Brain be able to be interested in a woman if she wasn't made of barbecued meat or something?!

… And when they saw Ohma's tense expression, which was strangely reminiscent of an animal that had been cornered by predators, they could only think that, perhaps, that could be this universe.

"Wha- What?," Rihito exclaims. "Seriously? The…," He turns to look at the counter, and when he sees Kanami working there, he looks at them and whispers, pointing to her while covered by the his other palm, "The Amazon?!"

"Damn, so that's his type?," Okubo smiles, still disbelieved. "Now I understand why! He has a very specific type."

"There's nothing to be nervous about, bro," Himuro sighs and assures him when he sees that Ohma is still tense, almost in a defensive position. "It's normal…"

"We just wanted to know, don’t worry," Kaneda smiles. "We won’t spread it-"

"Hey Miss Kanami-," Rihito was already calling, raising a hand, before being attacked and silenced by the hands of Okubo, Himuro and Kaneda, shutting him up with angry, desperate hisses.

"Holy shit, man, you don't know how to keep quiet, do you?," Himuro whispers furiously, the four of them practically fighting silently on the table while Rihito tried to get free.

"Damn, bro, respect your friend!," Okubo hisses softly. "What if she doesn't want the same? It will be just like the delinquent from before..."

“You really don't think, do you, man?," Kaneda sighs.

"I just want another milkshake!," Rihito screeches when he finally gets rid of their hands. "Let go of me, damn it!"

"Boys, no play-fighting, please!," Kanami asks from the counter, her tone firm. The three release Rihito at the same time, and he nearly falls off the table.

"Damn, what's gotten into you?," He massages his face angrily, touching the red marks that the fingers of the other three had left. "Come on, I’m no snitch…”

"Sorry, we reacted badly," ​​Himuro sighs, looking at Ohma next. "I confess that it's a bit shocking for us, Ohma. You, of all guys..."

Ohma finally seems to see them, unfreezing from what appears to be trance. "Huhhh… I actually have a question…"

"Ask, bro." Okubo smiles hopefully.

"What do you mean about ‘crushing her’? I’d never crush her, it’ll break her bones…”

... Holy. Fucking. Shit.

The four of them lean back in their seats, sighing, disappointed and furiously frustrated. Damn it, how could someone be that stupid? Even obliviousness should have a damn limit!

Ohma just shrugs, going back to sipping his milkshake as if he didn't just break his friends' spirits. That makes them give up asking any further questions, and Okubo tries to guillotine the idiotic hope that had begun to rise within him.

He’d been fantasizing about double dates between Ohma, Kanami, Tomori and himself. It would be the perfect opportunity to regain the trust of the object of his affection's friend. But no, Tokita destroyed his dreams like a meteor of pure concentrated stupidity, so he had better keep that shit to himself.

"Hnnf... Well?," Kaneda is the first to try to break the ice, opening a very weak smile. "Are our plans of going to my apartment to play Biohazard still up or...?"

"Just give me a minute, man," Rihito asks in a defeated tone, leaning his arms on the table and laying his head on them, hiding his face. "I'm still recovering from the blow. Tokita's virginity is even more resistant than his Indestructible technique, what the fuck."..

"No dude, no," Himuro rubs his face, as if he'd been mentally punched. "I'd explain what a crush is, but I have to pretend you're five to do that and I can't.

"Then don't," Ohma shrugs, going back to eating. "I was going to ask Kanami, but she wouldn't want me to crush her bones either, so it's fine."

"Enough! Stop it, or my brain will melt and start running outta my nostrils!," Rihito almost sobs, grabbing his head with his hands, while Okubo rubs his eyes, a vein standing out in his temple.

"After this I'm going to order not only cookies to go, but all the donuts and chocolate eclairs I can buy. I'm gonna need junk food to get through this existential crisis..."

"You're so dramatic," Ohma grumbles. "You're acting like I beat you or something," he gets up."I'll go to another, so I don't 'crush on you'," he rolls his eyes, taking the tray to the counter.

The table is filled with high-pitched sounds of desperation one would only expect to hear at the entrance to the netherworld, which Ohma blithely ignored. Rihito shivers all over, sticking out his tongue.

"Dude, that's fucking disgusting! I'd rather be 'crushed on' in the literal sense, thank you!"

“Can we just forget about this conversation, please?,” Kaneda practically begs, running his hands over his face, while Himuro mumbles exhausted:

“I'm gonna have to smoke a couple packs after this. The damage to my lungs will be irreparable and it's all Tokita's fault."

"More irreparable than they already are, ciggy?," Okubo snorts, picking up a cookie from his plate and chewing it slowly "No, but you know what's worse? Those two would make a great couple. Two people who love food, albeit in different ways," He looks at the ceiling. "The cook and the glutton. It seemed like fate, y'know..."

He starts a little when the other three choke on their own saliva, bursting out laughing as low as they can manage.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Just look at that sappy spirit in the body of a gorilla, guys," Rihito puckers his lips, making kissing sounds. "The world got a lot more colorful and fragrant after that cute nutcase came into your life, didn't it?"

Okubo turns very red. "What?! I don't...!"

"You’re even talking about fate and shit, haha ," Himuro smiles sharply. "Was it fate that I invited you to that first visit here then? Damn, I'm more of a matchmaker than I thought!"

"Shut the fuck up! I'll beat your asses!" Okubo growls, picking up a fork and pointing at the two in a threat. Kaneda shakes his head.

“Come on, you two, leave Okubo alone. He was talking about Ohma and Miss Kanami specifically."

"Exactly! Thanks, Kaneda-"

"The fact that he put himself in their shoes and wanted company on this uncontrollable descent down the river of fate is irrelevant to the discussion."

"Damn it, I'm gonna beat you black and blue!," Okubo hits the table with his fists, while the other three laugh loudly. "I won't do that in here only because I don't want to be kicked out again!"

"Yeah...," Kanami raises her voice, and as she had heard the noise at the table, she looks at him with half-closed eyes and a raised eyebrow. "I'm watching."

Okubo flinches as the others let out another wave of laughter. He grits his teeth, letting out a pained groan.

“Ugh… I only put up with this because I deserve it. And because Tomori's lunch break is coming... stop laughing, dammit! You're just jealous!," He points accusingly at his friends, who by that time were already sobbing. "Make fun of me all you want, but your words will come back to haunt you later! The river of fate will be there, waiting..."

"River… more like a vortex, if you wanna know," Rihito laughs before taking another bite of his sandwich. "A fucking spiral that just keeps spinning and spinning, throwing you deeper and deeper. .."

"Aw, who's the sappy spirit in the  body of a gorilla now, huh? You're philosophizing about the issue as much as I am!"

"I'm making an analogy with your situation. You go round, round and round, you sink deeper and deeper in these waters, but still can't get your dick wet for shit."

"I swear, motherfucker, you're dead when we get out of here!," Okubo opens and closes his fists as if he wants to grab Rihito's neck, who wipes tears of laughter from his eyes. And that's when they hear a familiar voice, accompanied by approaching footsteps.

"Don't do that, Naoya! If you kill Rihito, you'll end up in jail, and who's going to practice batting with me in that case?"

"Tomori!!," he smiles, changing his tone from irritated to soft like a television channel. "Heeey…"

And the other idiots lose their collective shits, Kaneda already out of breath, Himuro sobbing and Rihito crying. Tomori, approaching them while carrying a tray with her own lunch, smiles with an arched eyebrow at the hubbub at the table.

"Can I know what's the joke or is it a men's secret?"

“Believe me, you don't wanna know. Just ignore those idiots and sit with us," Okubo invites, moving away a little in the seat to make room for her, the smile not dying even with the knowing smirks of his friends getting on his nerves. "We were worried about Miss Tomoyo and you."

"Me...? Ooh, Kanny told you what happened, didn't she?," She understands after a few seconds of confusion, sitting down next to him "Don't worry, Tomoyo's fine. She had already run into the kitchens when you arrived, and I managed to calm her down a bit. And nothing happened to me, I wasn't around at the time it all went down."

"Still… we ended up remembering that bullshit from a few weeks ago, with those stupid kids and everything," Okubo explains, and Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda have to restrain themselves a lot not to remind him that there was no ‘us’ there. "I kept thinking about some stupid things that made me anxious, that's all. We’re glad you're okay..."

Tomori smiles tenderly. "You're so sweet, you know? All of you are. Don't worry, I'm fine too. Just a little fed up," She sighs a little. "This kind of idiot is always showing up to disturb the peace at the bakery. I don't know if it's because of the area we're in or if it's just bad luck..."

"Does this happen often around here?," Kaneda asks, frowning a little, and Tomori takes a sip of the juice she brought with the rest of her lunch.

“More than we'd like, to be honest. It's one of the reasons why Kanny wants to relocate the bakery."

"Relocate?," Himuro repeats the word, to which Okubo widens his eyes a little.

"Wait, you guys want to change the bakery's address?"

"Oh, that's right, I haven’t told you yet," She sits more rigidly in her seat, looking at him. "We had a meeting a few days ago and Kanny decided that it’s time to look for a bigger and better location for the Heavy Bakery. We're currently looking for a place that meets these demands, but we haven't had much luck so far. I even said I was going to ask you if you knew a place or anyone who knows one..."

"No, I don't. Sorry," He scratches the back of his head, trying to smile. "But that doesn't mean we can't help look, right, guys?"

"Of course! I can look for some spaces near my business," Rihito offers, raising a thumb. "It's not exactly the prettiest part of town, but it's got a lot going for it. And you can bet no cocky brat is going to try to play the badass act in the area where my crew and I work."

"I can try checking with some of my contacts. I have some friends who are basically the eyes and ears of the entire district," Himuro comments. Kaneda smiles sheepishly.

"I don't have many contacts or a business, but I can try to find something too. I see a lot of ads for land for sale in the classifieds..."

"And I can help spread the word! Posting on my social networks, inviting people to the bakery, helping to increase the clientele that will definitely want to see a quality establishment thriving. Good publicity makes all the difference, you know?," Okubo smiles excitedly. Tomori lets out a small shuddering sigh.

"Would you do that? Would you really help us? Even if you don't gain anything from it..."

"And who said we don't? The bakery gets even more space, tyou guys expand the business, money comes in and the quality increases. We will be able to apreciate even more of the kick-ass food that you offer. Everyone would win. Helping you out would be our way of saying thank you for the great service… and the great company,” He squeezes her wrist gently across the table.

Rihito, Himuro, and Kaneda, on another occasion, would've thought that as a masterful ploy on Okubo's part, who seemed to know exactly what to say to make the girl he was crushing on swon. But the tender, painfully sincere expression on his face spoke of something much stronger than that. And if Tomori's delighted look meant anything, it was that she had seen the same thing.

"Naoya… thank you. Thanks a lot!," She pouted, holding his arm and closing her eyes as if she was trying not to cry. "And you too, Rihito, Himuro, Kaneda… I keep feeling that I am increasingly indebted to you ..."

"You already know how you can pay! I can even give your friend the news that the sugar shack is going to change its address, no problem at all-"

"Shut up, Rihito!," Himuro and Kaneda command in unison, impatient. Okubo would have joined in the chorus if he wasn't too busy humming with satisfaction from Tomori's half-hug. He strokes her knuckles.

"You're welcome, Tomori. We'll do what we can to help our favorite bakery."

"Yeah, because we used to go to so many others before knowing about this one..."

"Shut up, Himuro."

"And this has nothing to do with the fact that you're trying to regain Kanny's trust, right?," She asks, arching her eyebrow, and Okubo makes a face.

"... Partially? I prefer to to say I'm combining business with pleasure. And like I said, it's going to benefit everyone, you included. I even want to start now!"

"Oh yes? How?"

"With a photo! What do you think?," He takes his phone out of his pocket. "I can advertise the bakery using it... but I'll probably need a better screen...," He sighs as he contemplates the cracked screen of the phone. Tomori laughs, while the other three idiots roll their eyes.

"Seriously, isn't it time you picked another phone?," Kaneda asks.

"It's a classic model, man! It has a whole vintage charm..."

"And no parts available on the market for a repair. Quit being a dumbass and just buy the new iPhone like everyone else...," Himuro snorts impatiently, and Okubo stares at him indignantly.

"And take part in this mediocre fad? No chance! Not to mention that these current models do not even compare with the old ones in terms of resistance and durability-"

"Whoopsie-Daisy!," Rihito slaps the back of his hand, and he almost drops the phone on the floor, the device jumping in his hand like a fish out of water as he tries to support it with somewhat desperate exclamations. "Wow, why are you so afraid to drop it on the ground if it's so durable? That cracked screen is just misleading propaganda from that mediocre fad, right?"

"Screw you! The V3 is resistant to a lot of things, but not toa mule’s kick!," Okubo growls, and both the other three idiots and Tomori burst out laughing. She shakes her head, picking up her own phone.

"Let's try mine then! It's not the latest model, but the camera is good," She leans against Okubo, holding onto his arm. "I just think it'd make more sense to take a selfie with the bakery owner, if the intention was to promote it..."

"I don’t think she'd take a selfie with me at the moment…"

"To promote the bakery? She'd drag you to the place with the best lighting!"

Okubo laughs, leaning towards her so he can fit in the photo. "Okay, I don't doubt that at all. But I really want to take a picture with my favorite cook. Like your fan selfies, you know?"

Tomori blushes, biting her lower lip and looking to the side, smiling like a fool.

"So... you're saying you're my fan?"

"If I say yes, do I get some kisses and some complimentary cookies?"

She pushes him away playfully, giving a high-pitched giggle. "You can't control yourself even in front of your friends, can you? Here, you take the selfie, my arms are too short for me to be able to frame the two of us together."

"Okay. Smile and say 'T-Rex' then!"

She laughs out loud, and he takes the picture right then and there, catching her with an expression of natural glee. Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda didn't know what they wanted to do more: if to have a joint nausea fit at the scene or if to smile with enormous satisfaction.

Holy crap, Okubo didn't know how to hide it, not even at the risk of becoming the target of their mockery, did he? The urge to apply psychological torture, typical of male friendships, was too strong. But another, much more urgent urge was taking shape, and they decided, in a quick exchange of glances, to make it a priority.

The could have a game night another time. Their friend had a golden opportunity on his hands and they weren't going to let him pass it up.

"Oh, come on…," Tomori pouted when Okubo showed her the photo. "My eyes half closed."

"While you were happy and laughing, which is the most important thing."

"But you took me by surprise, there was no time to strike a pose!"

"And that's great, people like spontaneity. Even more so when one of the cooks has such a pretty smile. The bakery's clientele will double."

"Yeah, on the one hand that's great," Kaneda comments suddenly, enjoying Tomori's blush. "But on the other hand, it can also be a little risky."

"Yep. Just today we had to scare away a pushy idiot. That other day, Miss Kanami had to scare away three of 'em," Himuro takes a sip of his soda. "How many more are going to keep showing up like this?"

"Hey, hey, stop it, you," Okubo mutters, seriously, when Tomori's shoulders stiffen a little, her expression becoming slightly pained. "You want to make her scared to even show up for work or something?"

"But we're saying that because we care!," Rihito shrugs with an air of innocence. "We also haven't forgotten what happened that day, with those asshole kids lying in wait-"

"Holy shit, Rihito, you're only making the situation worse!," Okubo hits the table with his fist, to which Tomori shakes her head.

"It's okay, Naoya. They're right. Kanny will even accompany Tomoyo to her house to make sure she doesn't get followed or anything..."

"But what about you, Miss Uta? Are you going to have to go home alone after what happened? You can't!," Rihito gestures a little, while Himuro points to Okubo and commands:

"Take her home, Okubo."

"Wha- Me?," He starts a little, blinking in surprise, and the three nod with serious expressions.

"Who else would it be? You're not going to let her go home alone knowing it might be risky, are you?"

"Uuh… of course not, but…," He scratches the back of his head, looking sideways at Tomori, who also looked surprised. "I don't want you to feel obligated to say yes or anything…"

"I- I don't!," She says quickly. "I'd love the company, by the way. I just don't want to get in the way of any plans you guys may have..."

"Oh, yeah! Didn't we arrange to go to Kaneda's for for a game night?," Okubo remembers, looking back at Tomori afterwards. "They were until an hour ago complaining that I don't hang out with them that much anymore, the whiners..."

"Oh, in that case I really don't want to get in the way of your night out. You'll end up hating me if I monopolize your friend,” She teases with an embarrassed laugh, to which Kaneda makes a reassuring gesture with one hand.

"No problem, it's for a good cause. Your safety is far more important, isn't it?," He looks sideways at Okubo. "You can hang out with us another time."

"Yeah, man. No hard feelings," Himuro assures, to which Rihito smiles mischievously.

"I'd even say that you will be in better company than us, hahaha!"

“Wow, did everyone decided to flirt with me today or what?," Tomori jokes, while Okubo casts an intense look at his friends, who continued to make innocent expressions.

"I know what you're doing, you fuckers, don't think you're fooling me."

"... In that case, if it doesn't bother you, I'll take you home, Tomori," He finally offers. "That way they and I are calmer. And I have an excuse to spend a little extra time with you, hehe."

"Hahaha, likewise! Okay, then, I'm in," She nods, smiling. "Thanks for worrying. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom," She gets up from her seat, patting her skirts with her hands a little, and then walking away towards the toilet area. The four idiots follow her with their eyes, and when making sure she was far enough away, Okubo turns to the other three with a frown.

“Holy shit, couldn't you be less discreet?"

“Man, we have no idea what you're talking about,” Himuro comments as Rihito finishes his sandwich and Kaneda takes a sip of his coffee.

"The fuck you haven't! What a stupid-ass idea, using a traumatic experience of hers to convince her to put me under her roof like that..."

"Bro, trust me, she wouldn’t need much more convincing than that," Rihito guarantees. "We just saw the opportunity and helped you seize it, since you’re too slow to think about it on your own," He laughs mockingly. "No need to thank us, okay? Just enjoy it and be careful not to break her bed with your more than two hundred pounds.

"You're not that far behind, Bigfoot," Okubo snorts, but it's getting hard to stay annoyed. He would never complain about an opportunity to spend more time with Tomori. And if it also meant they could reach third base in the process... "But damn... you guys are totally set on helping me get laid, huh? Hahaha!"

"Yeah, I've been very pious lately," Himuro smirks. "After seeing Rihito and you strugle with rejections again and again, for four years straight, a Good Samaritan side just woke up inside me."

"Yep! At least one of you two had to score, right," Kaneda jokes, ignoring when Rihito gives him the middle finger. Okubo shakes his head.

"Yeah, right… I just hope she doesn't see it as just me trying to take advantage of a sticky situation."

"She kinda could, pal… if we didn't know that she wants this as much as you do," Rihito gives him a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Just go for it!"

"Haha, alright," Okubo doesn't resist, smiling widely. "I'll still find a way to thank you properly… and no, Rihito, forget about her friend's number! I already told you that my dick doesn't work miracles, dammit..."

The four of them stand there, laughing and making fun of each other's faces, but they stop when Tomori returns. She sits back down, smiling at them.

"So, what did I miss?"

"Absolutely nothing. We were absolutely quiet, waiting for you to come back, like the well-behaved boys that we are," Okubo jokes, stroking her shoulder, to which the sous chef laughs. He glances sideways at his friends, who are trying to keep a low profile by focusing on the food. But they also smiled.

They might be a trio of nosy bastards, but holy shit, he wouldn't trade them for any other.

NEXT CHAPTER