#anyway! hoping the demo will be out before summer :)

[rivertakis]

And this marks Alex's bedroom finished! whoo! I actually had quite a bit of fun making this background and colouring it in and such. Its a bit messy, but i like it anyway?? i feel like it has some charm to it.

Anyway, thats one piece fully done now! :D

[hauntedhowlett-writes]

Title: cruel summer | chapter 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Pairing: Joel Miller/Female!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+, MDNI)

Chapters: 6/6

Read on AO3 | Join the tag list

Summary:

Joel takes a contracting job renovating a master bedroom and bathroom while the homeowners are away for the summer on a cruise.

He wasn’t expecting their twenty-three year old daughter and the thoughts he’d have about her.

Author’s note: I’m playing fast and loose with ages and timelines here. Joel is 38, reader is 23, and Sarah is 5. No mushroom apocalypse here, y’all.

Additional tags/warnings: explicit sexual content, age gap (15 years), reader is 23 and Joel is 38, he’s a lil guilty about it anyways, pet names, dirty talk, lack of aftercare, oral (f receiving), fingering, begging, angst, drying humping. Let me know if I’m missing anything!

You hear the heavy footsteps of your dad and the contractor coming up the steps to the front door. You turn from the stove, spatula in hand just as your dad comes into view with a man you’ve never seen before.

He’s tall and broad, shoulders stretching the worn flannel he’s wearing to what must be near its breaking point. He’s got a strong nose and sharp jaw highlighted by his tan skin. His hair is brown that’s streaked with gray, messy curls sticking up in all directions.

Woah, you think. Your eyes meet warm brown ones that make your knees feel a little unsteady.

Your dad gives the man your name followed by, “My daughter. She’s home for the summer while she studies for the MCAT. I hope that’s not a problem that she’ll be here?”

“Not a problem for me. Noise might bother you, though, if you’re tryin’ to study,” the man says, deep voice making your mouth go a little dry. He holds a hand out to you. “I’m Joel, by the way. I’m doin’ the remodel on your parent’s room.”

That’s right. Your dad had mentioned that your mom had finally broken him down and made him get a contractor out to update their master bath. They scheduled it while they’re away on a six week cruise, leaving you to house sit while you studied for your exam.

“It won’t bother me,” you reply, shaking his hand. They’re calloused and warm and just the brief contact is enough to have you wondering what they would feel like trailing over other parts of your body. “I’ve got noise canceling headphones.”

He smiles, but it’s short lived. He sniffs the air, brows pinching together. “Is something burning?”

“Shit! My eggs!” You turn back to the stove and shut the burner off, moving the pan off the heat and trying to scrape your now burnt scrambled eggs from the surface.

“Come on, Joel, let me show you upstairs.”

________

Joel returns to the house a few times that week to take measurements and talk materials with your mom. Each time you’re there in the kitchen, books spread around you at the dining table and your head bobbing to music he can’t hear.

He can’t help the way his eyes linger when he comes inside, stomping his work boots against the mat inside the doorway as a courtesy and, if he’s honest with himself, to get your attention. And every time you glance up and smile at him, bright and beautiful.

As soon as he’s back upstairs and remembers he has a job to do, he berates himself for the thoughts he has. He has no goddamn right to be looking at a client’s daughter, much less one as young as you.

His presence in the house is sparing over the first couple weeks of the job, mostly just dropping by for measurements and to get an idea of a plan for demo day. He’s got orders in on tile placed, fixtures picked out, paint purchased. Everything’s in place to get started next week.

Satisfied, he heads downstairs to leave. He both hopes you’re in the kitchen and prays you’re not, if only to ease his guilty conscience.

But there you are, bent over in front of the fridge in shorts that hug your ass a bit too well. You straighten up with a can of beer in your hand, popping the tab and taking a sip.

“You even old enough to drink that?” Joel can’t help but ask, lingering in the doorway.

“I bought it. Why, you wanna see my ID? You moonlight as a cop or somethin’?” You roll your eyes.

Brat, Joel thinks, rolling his lips together. He turns to leave, he’s made enough of a fool of himself for one day.

“I’m twenty-three, in case you were wondering!” You call out as the door shuts behind him.

Fuck.

________

Joel’s been upstairs since early this morning, smashing things with a sledge hammer, prying things with a crowbar, and all sorts of other destruction that filters through your headphones.

It’s almost noon when you decide to give up and give into the temptation to go see what the man is doing. You head upstairs, stepping carefully into your parents room. There’s plastic tarp leading from the door of the bedroom to the door of the bathroom that crinkles beneath your feet as you move further inside.

You peek beyond the doorway of the bathroom and clutch the frame almost painfully when you catch a glimpse of a rather sweaty Joel, white t-shirt sticking to his chest and back as he wiggles a crowbar between the wall and vanity, leveraging his body weight against it to get the fixture to detach from the wall.

He repeats the process a few more times until the vanity is completely removed. He tosses the crowbar to the side and wipes the back of his hand across his dusty forehead. You clear your throat, his eyes shooting to the mirror to meet yours.

“Hey, uh. Hi. I’m about to make something for lunch…did you want anything?” You ask. His chest moves rapidly with his labored breathing.

“Sure,” he finally says.

_______

He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be sitting at the kitchen table, watching you move around the kitchen like a picture of domesticity as you make two ham and turkey sandwiches for lunch.

You set the plate in front of him, along with a cold can of Coke, before sitting across from him with your own matching meal. He takes a bite, humming in satisfaction.

“Thank you,” he says when he’s swallowed. You nod, picking up your own sandwich and digging in.

The two of you eat in silence for a few minutes. Joel lets his eyes wander over you while you’re focused on your food. You’ve got a University of Texas tank top on, white with an orange Longhorn stretched across your chest, and another pair of shorts, giving him an eyeful of your long, smooth legs.

Tearing his eyes from you, his gaze lands on the stack of books on the table. “So, the MCAT. Must mean you’re pretty smart.”

“Not to brag, but I did finish organic chemistry without crying,” you reply, lips tilted in a smug grin. “I’m taking it at the end of August, before senior year starts. Dad said I didn’t have to get a summer job if I moved home and saved him some rent money.”

“What kind of doctor are you lookin’ to become?”

“Pediatrician. I love kids.”

Joel’s heart rate kicks up as he thinks about you chasing a toddler around a manicured lawn surrounded by a white picket fence. Or in the kitchen with a baby on your hip.

Jesus Christ. What the fuck is wrong with him?

“Joel?” You ask, breaking through his mental flagellation.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you have any kids,” you repeat.

He can feel his face go soft. “Yeah, Sarah. She just turned five. She starts kindergarten at the end of the summer.”

“How sweet,” you say. “I bet you and your wife are excited about that.”

“There’s, uh…there’s no wife,” Joel replies, clearing his throat uncomfortably. He stands, taking this empty plate to the dishwasher. “I better get back to work.”

Joel feels the weight of your stare on his back as he heads upstairs.

________

It goes on like that for two weeks. Joel gets to the house early and you study at the kitchen table until lunch time, when you ask him if he wants anything to eat. He should say no. It’s not your job to feed him, he’s got a stash of granola bars that’ll do just fine.

But each time he sees your hopeful doe eyed expression, his resolve crumbles to dust.

So he sits at the table each day, eating the sandwich you made him and drinking the Coke you gave him, learning tidbits of information about you.

Like how you weren’t sure about pursuing medicine at first, so you’re a bit behind schedule in taking your studies and will be graduating late. You changed your degree path when you volunteered in the pediatric oncology service at the medical school, sitting with young kids undergoing chemotherapy and making their days brighter. Your last roommate had a cat that always hid your keys, but you still liked him anyways. How your favorite color is yellow.

He tells you about Sarah. About how her mom left not long after she was born and how he’s gone at this parenting thing alone, save for the support of his brother, Tommy. He tells you about how only finished a semester in community college before dropping out to pursue construction. His favorite drink is whiskey, neat, and his favorite color is red.

One day, you’re not at the table when he lets himself into the house with the key your dad made for him. He finds he’s disappointed, not starting his day with your smile.

Upstairs, he’s working on laying the mud for the shower pan when he hears a splash from outside. He peeks out the window of the bedroom that overlooks the backyard.

His mouth goes dry and his pants get uncomfortably tight as he watches you lift yourself from the pool. You’ve got on the skimpiest red bikini he’s ever seen, the top barely containing your tits and doing nothing to hide the hard peaks of your nipples. You wring your hair out over your shoulder before moving to lay down on a nearby lounger. Your body glistens with drops of water that Joel wants to chase with his tongue.

You turn over on your stomach and Joel bites back a groan, greedily committing the view of your ass to memory. Jesus Christ, he’s never felt like a dirty old man more than in this moment.

He returns to his task and tries to chase his lustful thoughts away with manual labor.

_______

You can see him watching you from the window. Your sunglasses keep your own gaze hidden as you revel in the undivided attention of the man you’d been drooling over the last few weeks. You’d put on your tiniest bikini for the occasion, laying yourself out on the lounge like a meal you’d like him to dig into.

He stood there for a few minutes and you could practically hear his teeth cracking from how tense his jaw was. You could tell Joel really struggled with his attraction to you. He’s staring down the barrel of a fifteen year age gap, after all.

You didn’t see an issue with it. You’re an adult, he’s not abusing any sort of position of power, hell, all the man has done is check you out. He hasn’t even touched you. You don’t want him to feel guilty about being attracted to you because god knows you don’t feel guilty for wanting to climb him like a tree.

You don’t bother with a towel or changing when you go upstairs to tell Joel lunch is ready. When he sees you in the doorway he freezes, and you bite back at a laugh at the look of surprise on his face.

“Lunch is ready,” you tell him.

He clears his throat. “I uh…I think I’ll just eat a protein bar. Thank you, though.”

Your bottom lip pops out in a pout. “But I made pasta salad.”

“I got a lot to do,” he tries again. His jaw keeps clenching, his hand wrapping tightly around the tool he’s holding like he’s hoping it’ll anchor him in place.

“Please, Joel?”

That gets him. He sighs, standing with a groan.

“Fine.”

________

This was a bad idea. He should have held strong and insisted he’d eat by himself today.

You’re still in that goddamn bikini and he is fighting for his life sitting at the table as he watches you plate up pasta salad. Usually you would drink a Coke with lunch but today he’s surprised to see you pouring a glass of wine.

“It’s my day off from studying,” you say as you take your seat across from him, sipping from the glass. “I think I deserve a little treat. Don’t you?”

He has to be imagining the double meaning of your words. He gives you a tight nod in response before focusing all his energy in eating his pasta and avoiding your gaze.

“You okay, Joel?” you ask. Your sweet face is pinched in concern and goddamnit, Joel can’t take this.

“Fine,” he grunts. You give him another pout, the same one that broke his resolve upstairs.

You finish before him, sticking your bowl in the sink before picking up your wine glass from the table and refilling it. Instead of taking a seat, you lean your barely clothed hip against the table in front of him.

“You seem tense,” you comment. Joel swallows roughly, throat dry. You set your glass down and take a step closer.

“What are you doin’?” He asks, voice rough and low. He can barely breathe. This can’t possibly be happening.

You plant your hands on his shoulders for balance as you slide onto his lap, legs on either side of his waist and pussy dragging across his hard cock. He hisses, hands grabbing onto your waist before he can stop himself.

“You can’t be doin’ this,” he says, voice strained. “We can’t be doin’ this.”

“Why not? I see the way you look at me. I’ve been lookin’ the same way.”

“You’re young, baby. Too young for an old man like me.”

You loop your arms around his neck, pressing your chest to his and fuck, he can feel your tight little nipples as your tits press against him. “‘M not too young,” you murmur, dipping your head to mouth at his neck. His fingers flex against your ribs. “You’re not doin’ anything wrong, Joel.”

His head drops back as you keep pressing sweet little kisses to the stubbled skin. His hips flex beneath you and you gasp, arms tightening around him.

Joel is so fucked. So, so fucked. Has been from the moment he stepped into this goddamn house and saw you sitting at this very table.

Maybe…maybe just one time. One time should be enough, get it out of your systems, cut through the tension and move on.

You’re whimpering against his neck, squirming over his lap as his hands drag up your waist until his fingers find the edge of one of the pathetic triangles covering your breasts. He can feel your breath hitch as he pulls it to the side, exposing your tight little nipple to the cold air.

“God, baby,” he groans, dipping his head forward to wrap his lips around the little bud. You moan so loud and wanton as he licks you that he knows he’s fucking done for.

He digs his fingers into your still damp hair, tugging your head back so that he can finally drag your mouth to his. You taste like wine and sunshine and he’s never been much of a wine guy, but from your tongue he’ll taste anything.

You open up to him so sweetly, your hands clutching his shoulders and your hips moving against his painfully hard cock as he devours you, dragging his own hands over all that exposed skin like it’ll disappear if he doesn’t touch you everywhere at least once.

It’s still not nearly enough.

He stands and you squeak in surprise as he sits you on the edge of the table. “Holy shit,” you mutter. He glances at your face to make sure you’re okay.

Your hair is messy from his hands and lips swollen from his kisses, eyes wide and dark as you stare back at him. Your top is half off, and Joel can’t help but reach out and tug the other cup down to expose your other breast.

“Pretty as a goddamn picture, darlin’,” he murmurs. He presses a hand to your chest, urging you to lie back.

“You think I’m pretty?” You ask. He huffs a laugh.

“Don’t be a brat, fishin’ for compliments,” he admonishes. He plucks at the strings holding those little bottoms in place, the bows falling loose so that he can push the material aside. “Look at this pretty fuckin’ pussy. You’re drenched, baby.”

“Been like this every day,” you reply, voice all breathy as you squirm beneath his rapt attention.

“That right?” He asks, dragging his thumb through your wet folds. You moan, hips jumping from the table. He kneels, placing one arm around over your hips as he presses your legs apart with his free hand, spreading you for him.

You’re breathing so fast he’s almost worried you might pass out. “Shhh, pretty thing, let me take care of you.”

He licks a broad stripe over your core, his tongue swirling around your aching clit before dipping back down to your entrance. You fight against his hold, hips trying in vain to chase his mouth.

“Oh, god,” you cry out. Your hands find their way to his head, fingers scratching against his scalp as he feasts on your cunt. “Joel, more, please!”

He keeps his arm tight against you and uses his other hand to slip one finger into your wet heat, groaning at how tight you are. His tongue focuses on your clit while he slowly strokes his finger in and out, adding a second then a third when you start babbling about more more more.

“Fuck me, Joel, please,” you beg. He shakes his head against your cunt, the scrape of his beard against your sensitive flesh making you scream. “Please!”

He stands, continuing to stroke his fingers inside you as he uses his thumb on your clit to replace his tongue. “I don’t have a condom with me.”

“I’m clean, I’m on the pill, please, Joel, I need your cock so bad,” you plead. Joel groans. He’s already crossed a line but he can’t go there. He knows damn well that if he feels you clenching around him with nothing between your bodies, screaming his name as he pounds inside of you, he won’t ever leave.

“No, sweetheart, you’re going to come on my hand and my mouth or you’re not going to come at all,” he snaps, hand moving faster, curling against your front wall.

_______

Tears slip from the corners of your eyes as Joel continues to drive you higher and higher toward release, your muscles tightening painfully as his fingers curl inside you and his thumb circles your clit.

You don’t know what you expected from all this, but Joel Miller dirty talking and finger fucking you on your kitchen table was not on your deduction bingo card. He’s better than anything your brain has conjured up thus far and you just know this one time isn’t going to be enough to sate you, especially since he keeps calling you “good girl” and “darlin’” and “sweetheart” in his rough southern accent.

You want him to fuck you so bad, you’re desperate for it. But he’s staunchly refusing to cross that line despite the hundreds that have been crossed already.

You try to hold back your orgasm, not wanting this to end, but it crashes over you anyways, leaving you breathless and sobbing his name as his hand slows its pace.

Joel’s fingers slip from your body and he leans forward, pressing them to your lips. You open your mouth, licking and sucking at his offering.

“Goddamnit,” he groans. “That was gorgeous.”

You sit up, supporting yourself on shaky arms. He steps back, but you hook a leg around his waist to stop him.

“Wait, let me—“

“No, baby, I’m good,” he says, cutting you off and dodging your hands. “I gotta get back to work.”

You can feel your high leave you in an instant. “Oh…okay.”

“Thank you for…lunch,” he says awkwardly. “I’ll be upstairs. If you need me.”

You don’t say anything as he turns to leave.

————

Upstairs in the bathroom, the one not being remodeled that he presumes is yours due to the messy countertop and fluffy yellow towels, Joel takes his cock from his pants and fists his length, grip almost painful as payment for his transgressions.

He cums with the thought of your eyes screwed shut in ecstasy, shouting his name as you clenched around his fingers. Your name is on his lips in the softest whisper he can manage as he cums, hard and hot, into a tissue.

He slumps against the wall, breathless. And while he may have come faster than a teenager, he doesn’t feel an ounce of relief.

Fuck.

[blank-house]

Hello! I'm very excited for the extended demo, and thank you for all of your and the team's hardwork :) I apologize if this has already been asked before. I tried searching some keywords in the search bar... but Tumblr's search feature can be crappy sometimes.

Can you please briefly explain the difference between each season personality type? Do certain characteristics go with each type? Such as "Happy"/"Positive" outlook equals the summer personality etc?

I just wanted some clarification, if that's okay. It's really cool you guys created a personality quiz at the start of the game!

Anyway thank you in advance! Have a great day

haha, i think we might've answered it a while back, but doesn't hurt to write a bit of a refresher. tumblr's search function is kind of gnarly to use, especially when we're trying to remember what we even said sometimes, lol. so, i get it. but, the gist is: all the seasonal personalities wrap around the core of the mc, in that, there's a lot of things that we assume about you. that you're a law student, that you like photography and that, generally, you're pretty willing to go along with things because we need you to be to have a game at all.

these are just kind of the things i'm thinking about as i'm writing the distinctions in personalities, which flavor the text:

spring focuses a lot more on the inner world, just like fall does. but, they're typically bubblier and more outgoing. that said, they have parts of them that can be catty and gossipy, which makes it easier for them to kind of bounce back and forth between people and friend groups. their main stat is charm.

summer, then, isn't necessarily more happy or positive than the others as much as they just have the confidence to take on the world. they're more action-oriented and, again, pretty outgoing as far as the personalities go. they're driven primarily by impulse and the mood, but can be a mood-maker for a group as much as anyone else. their main stat is confidence.

fall's like spring in that they focus on the inner world a lot more. they think and observe more than the others. but, compared to spring, they're a lot more compassionate and patient. so, it's no wonder that their main stat is compassion. they aren't the first one to jump into something, but they want to participate. they're often quieter, but thinking about what they want to say.

winter is kind of both a participant and observer of the world. they're quieter and have a drier sense of humor. they're often not the first person to participate, preferring to watch and see how things play out. they're grounded in reality and shoot down ridiculous ideas, but shouldn't be mistaken for being frigid. their main stat is composure.

hoping that helps clear up the differences!

[infamous-if]

Wait wait hear me out I saw that ask about inputing custom lyrics and how you might include pre-set lyrics and idk your thoughts on AI but I personally have never written lyrics before in my life so when I got to that part of the demo I panicked and used ChatGPT for the first time ever and typed in something random like "give me a four line poem about..." and after a couple tries it turned out surprisingly well. I used "chainsmoking" and "sensual" as the prompt bc i'm an edgy bitxh and there were several good results but the one I picked for my playthrough just as an example was: "The way you inhale, with a practiced ease / Sucking down your cigarettes, such a tease. / The tendrils of smoke, they swirl and rise / My senses reel, your addiction my demise." and idk maybe I'm crazy but in my mind that goes kinda hard and fit exactly that edgy bitch vibe I was going for so maybe ChatGPT could be helpful in coming up with pre-set lyrics?

P.S. Oh also No One asked but my MC's band is called King July and the fan base is known as The Summer Court and I'm just really proud of myself for coming up with both names without using 50 million name generators (or even, like, one tehe) like I normally would with that kinda thing anyway hope this was yeah thanks byeeee :))))))

P.P.S. Wait sorry i realized i had a question so will we maybe have the chance to customize a "ship name" for our MC and RO kinda like how we could customize the fan base name or whatever like some Destiel Reylo shit bc I may be an edgy bitch but i'm also a cringe farmer so ya know yeehaw keep me in your thoughts and prayers

This is such a super awesome ideas and the lyrics are fucking sick.

BUT i do wonder the ethics behind doing that ahssdjs obviously it's okay for you guys to do it since it's your personal playthroughs but would that be alright using ChatGPT for a game I'm publishing publicly? Maybe I'm overthinking it but that's such a great idea hdshsdh

so far my lyrics have been pretty basic, but i do have plans to have the story maybe have full on songs which means...i need to get my songwriting chops up.

and your band name and fandom name are awesome!! everyone has been so creative!

as for a ship name, maybe! Shipping and fans pairing people together does come up so I would say most likely.

[iansolko]

closed starter for @danieleansworth

Ian had shown Daniel some of his demos over the summer, and that had gone okay.  Great, even.  Unfortunately, they were songs that upon further listening, Ian was supremely unhappy with: had scrapped, rewritten,  spent hours re-recording vocals and instrumentals, and now, months and months later, he was at a spot he could be semi-happy with the demos, and could potentially show them to Theo and Skylar to provide their own respective vocals and bass.  This was why he’d never finished an album before--only occasionally provided instrumentals on tracks over the years.  He was too nit-picky when it came to his music.

But first, he wanted Daniel’s opinion on them.  Because.  And Ian really hoped he wasn’t cutting in on Daniel being with Ryder instead when sending him a message, asking if he wanted to meet after dinner to listen to music in one of the meeting rooms.  Truthfully, he hadn’t been inviting Daniel to hang out much in the past few months, for fear of the same thing: interfering on time that he could be spending with someone he preferred.  But Ian had their laptop and some headphones set up anyway, and gave a quick wave to their friend as he came in.  “Hey, how are you feeling and also doing, Daniel?”  Ian asked, gesturing to the seat next to him to sit.  

[chattercap]

June 2024 Monthly Devlog

Hello everyone,

Phew, we're already entering June, and it's getting HOT! I hope some of you have relaxing(?) summer plans!

WHAT DID I DO?

Overall I worked on a variety(?) of things this month! On the art side, I've been steadily working on Actala. I've finished setting up the base for most of the backgrounds and done around 1/3 of the renders, and I've also done a little over half of the CGs for the demo release I'm planning for the end of June. I also did some brainstorming for my fall/winter projects.

On the coding side, I've made several updates to MMM, Kanau, and TDW, including: -Added a click VFX. -Fixed bug if you clicked "Continue" before ever starting the game. -Implemented text box animation and typewriter effect toggles. -Implemented fix where the VA stops if you progress to the next line. -Minor script fixes.

For TDW, I also implemented some fixes for bugs that I addressed in Kanau. I also added a content warning screen and a custom end screen.

I also worked on porting Karamu to Godot! While I would have liked to keep it in the old engine, I would be porting it anyway to create the trilogy release for Steam, and unfortunately it's unrealistic for me to continue working in multiple game engines. Along with the Karamu port, I implemented support for multiple languages! This month I was working on a French language translation for both Karamu and Kanau. I've received the files, and they've been proofread as well (by my very kind friend chimeriquement)! I implemented the GUI and script language toggles so all I need to do is create new translated versions of the script files. I won't promise the French TL anytime soon since I'm focusing on Actala and the MMM and TDW Steam releases, but I'll get it out sometime this summer!

On the writing side, I worked a bit on Hanasu, as well as one of my secret projects. I fully outlined one of the projects that I plan to work on in the fall, and I also did brainstorming for the other project (GAH I really want to announce them already so I can stop referring to them in such vague terms…)

WHAT'S NEXT FOR JUNE?

For June, well…I'll be releasing the Actala demo, so whatever needs to get done for that…will get done! Unfortunately it won't be nearly as long as the original demo, but it's…well…understandable. The original demo was over a year's worth of work, and six months on assets alone, so it probably makes sense that I won't be able to get it all remade in 2 months, haha! (Especially since the current assets are much higher quality, and, as a result, take longer to produce.) Still, the demo will be very chunky (at least 2 hours) and will introduce all of the love interests.

In addition, I'll definitely be releasing MMM and TDW on Steam. TDW will also be part of Steam Next Fest on June 10th, if you're interested in checking it out!

I'll also be finishing up the Hanasu script in June so I can get it beta read and in recording by July, hopefully!

am very excited to announce the jam projects, but I'll restrain myself! I post most of my major announcements on here and Twitter! If you want to hear from me more often or see the WIPs, I post frequently on my Patreon with sketches, writing snippets, sneak peeks, high resolution art, and weekly devlogs.

Chattercap

[plasticwaves]

I can feel the year winding down already. Too soon but my thoughts are already turning to the next calendar year. But they remain only thoughts, not plans.

I am still looking forward to my unemployment era. Six more shifts to go - though I will call in sick one of those days to help out with the Lebanon fundraiser on Friday so actually five days to go.

I am still procrastinating (by over-planning) the rewrites of my script. I've wasted three days already, and I know the work I was meant to do on those three days will have to be squashed into existing days next week. Breathe out. I've lost my passion for the script, this my third and final edit. It has stretched to 142 pages, and I know I have to cut it to around 120, and make a few story decisions clearer and another round of kill-your-darlings, but the size of that task feels too overwhelming (hence the over-planning and to-do break-down). Also, the days I have free are so scattered, here and there, this month that I can already tell it will be hard to gather momentum once I do break into it. A hard deadline of Nov. 15 but I told my producer I'd give them an update this weekend. Breathe out.

It was confirmed today that a protest is being organised outside my trial (two weeks today...). It is a strange thing to consider. The countless protests I've been on, and now one in support of me and the four other co-defendants. An immediate discomfort at being a source of attention; the surreal aspect of people's actions I witnessed on a road one afternoon now being turned into a symbol; but at its root, it always returns to the solidarity and warmth that led to the demo that day, and has followed me and others since our arrests.

I've been told I should bring character references. Asking people who know me well to help prove I am a good upstanding person, lol. I've asked Heidi, and will ask a friend (a decision akin to choosing a best man or bridesmaid I suppose).

Beyond that, I am curious to see what November holds, whether I truly do the things I want to - when there is no genuine excuse not to (without a fixed-hour job in the way). Whether nascent routines in morning swims, yoga, and language classes take hold. Showing up more often. Or if I wobble at the structurelessness. November, a month I say farewell to the script, return to my masters dissertation, and put together an overview of my book idea before my writing retreat at the end of the month. I hope next month holds surprises, I hope I find myself in something new and scary and exciting to end the year. To shed the stasis, and restlessness, that has dominated so much of my inner life since summer.

In the past month, in the undercurrents of my day-to-day self, I have started to glimpse at how deeply in love I am. And that my love is deepening still. A realisation that has led to a burst of insecurities in recent weeks (Angel Olsen voice: just know the height you reach is the distance you could fall). Of course, I am suspicious of the love I receive. This is nothing new. But, for the longest time, since we got together a year and nine months ago, I thought, at the back of my head, unvoiced, that we had an expiry date in x number of months. A sense that I was a placeholder, following a break-up. But I am beginning to let go of this and the endpoint that felt on the horizon is no longer as visible to me. An endlessness that allows me to be more present.

Tonight is my only night in this week. Tomorrow I will be seeing my mum, and rewriting my script at the library, and going to a ceilidh in the evening (and finding time to learn a dance or two in the meantime). And then there's a day of setting up for the Lebanon fundraiser, including a dumpster dive in the morning and relentless baking and cooking, before also making sure it goes smooth once it starts. And then a weekend of work shifts, a meet up / a chat about DIY trans(ition), drinks with new neighbours, and so on and on. Anyway. The rain stopped today.

[ctommyisnt]

1:A song you like with a color in the title

OKAY my first thought was blistere in the sun by Violent femmes but i only just now realized its violent not violet. anyway. Violet by Wild Party!!!! One of my FAVORITE songs for sure. Could listen to it forever

2:A song you like with a number in the title

Second child restless child by the oh hellos (does this count? yes. it does). My favorite song by this band and it makes me feel so FREE and EXCITED and HOPEFUL.

3:A song that reminds you of summertime

I HAVE TOO MANY!!! summer is my favorite season and i have so many good memories of dancing in my neighborhood taking three hour walks just listening to music i loved (i wasnt allwoed to listen to my own music or wear earbuds in my house so it was my only chance to listen to music that wasnt christian or broadway) If i had to choose ONE though it would probably be talk too much by COIN. i would play this on repeat and just DANCE in the middle of the street.

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

Hmmm this ones hard. I luckily dont have any songs associated with people but whenever i hear about eurovision i get a bad taste in my mouth so we're going with that.

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

Already answered this but slingshot by good kid! If i want to go more mainstream it's gotta be I love it, that is the ultimate clubbing song and makes me feel so cool

6:A song that makes you want to dance

Arhghh i already used Talk too much so ill have to go with dance with me by sir, please. Typical but cmon man

7:A song to drive to

I only really listen to music while driving (i NEED to buy a speaker) but Heart of a Dancer makes me feel SO cool and i always go at least 20 over the speed limit when listening to this on the highway.

8:A song about drugs or alcohol

Uhhh? I don't listen to lyrics OH WAIT bullet by hollywood undead. I fucking loved that song when i was sixteen which if you know the song you know what i was like back then LOL

9:A song that makes you happy

Most songs but also Kaleidoscope by a great big world. THIS is a summer camp prologue montage music type beat but UGH it always makes me so happy. I think its been on almost every playlist ive made this year (i make my playlist by seasons so this is a good cold winter song AND summer song)

10:A song that makes you sad

Anything by Everybody Worries about Owen, Obsessed with his Denton lake album that shit was my depression music for a year. Not a big fan of his newer music.

11:A song that you never get tired of

Shawshank Demo by the toyston club, its been one of my top played songs for like three years and i have it in almost every playlist.

12:A song from your preteen years

uhhh i cant do shawshank or talk too much again so i think OH WAIT nothign by bruno major. I was so sad over this and would listen to it over and over again just imagining myself dancing to this song with my fictional or irl crushes. I was cringe but i was free and those daydreams kept me alive for those years.

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

UPTOWN GIRL BY BILLY JOELLLLLL hes such a guy and i want to be the uptown girl so bad. or everybody wants to rule the world thats a CLASSIC

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding

Im doing two for this one because one of them is Marry You by bruno marrs which will be played as my partner and i walk down the aisle after the ceremony and everyone cheers and throws flowers. My other one is Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman because thats going to be my father daughter dance if he still loves me when i get married.

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

FROM THE START. BY GOOD KID. this one one of my FAVORITE songs right now and i have screamed along to it at karaoke before. Amazing song

16:One of your favorite classical songs

Anything my sisters play on the piano but i Do Not have a distinction because there is not universe in which i can make out a distinct classical song.

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

LITTLE TALKS BY OF MONSTERS AND MEN!!! this song is SO fun and id love to sing this a drink and a half in with my friends OH OR THAT TICK TICK BOOM SONG ive done duets to that with my sisters before.

18:A song from the year that you were born

I cant NOT say american idiot by greenday like cmon. Are you gonna be my girl by the jets AND mr brightside also came out htat year.

19:A song that makes you think about life

............. Maybe I was boring BUT ALSO. hello my old heart iwasplanningonkillingmyselftothissong BUT its not a very nostalgic 'i got through this shit' song

20:A song that has many meanings to you

I have a playlist called 'Nothing is right and your looking for yourself in the suburbs but cant find it' which sounds metaphorical but was actually a very literal thing i used to do as a teen, spending hours walking around my neighborhood listening to this while trying to figure out who i was. Its my ultimate existencial crisis playlist and it's just the Maybe I was Boring thirteen minute demo cut ten seperate times. I play it whenever I feel lost and dissociative. It usually helps but it also reminds me of dark times.

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

natalie by bruno mars that song is SO fun WAIT NO grace by the hatchetman this song goes crazy

22:A song that moves you forward

Shy by Saint Blonde! Its very hopeful and gives me 'this is just the start of a great day/month/summer/year' you need to listen to it.

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

You were perfect & im sorry by mickey darling!! I just saw one of his concerts and MAN this song goes crazy. it tells a story and really delves into this guy and just ADSJFASLKDASLDK

24:A song by a band you wish were still together

Sobbing. Great Lake Drifters. They have 7 monthly listeners and havent done anything since 2015 OH MY GOD I JUST LOOKED THEM UP THEY HAVE A NEW SONG???? WHAT THE FUCK???????????? EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW my favorite song by them is verbal chess

25:A song by an artist no longer living

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dont recall any artists ever. is elton john dead? I like that song im still standing but only the taron edgerton sing cover.

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

Lucky girl by fazerdaze makes me SO upset because i WANT To be a lucky girl and listen to this song while walking down the street with my lover but nOOOoooo i CANT. BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A LOVER. someday.

27:A song that breaks your heart

Saline solution by wilbur soot was also one of my depression songs and i just. arghgjh reminds me of sad times. I cant listen to it anymore without a sinking feeling in my gut.

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

i dont know who autoheart is or what he looks like but i want him to fuck me. lent by

29:A song that you remember from your childhood

Again, i didnt listen to music much as a kid because it was just the christian stuff my parents played but my most nostalgic one would be See, what a morning by Keith and Kristyn getty. The song tastes like swedish pancakes drowning in butter and syrup while the sun beats through the kitchen window, dappled by the vines. It's so visual to me and i always mourn my childhood when my mom plays it.

30:A song that reminds you of yourself

Scrawny by the wallows is the song i want to embody. I genuiknely want people to hear that song and be like 'yeah thats nells, thats her' But right now maybe Drifting by good kid? i dont pay attention to lyrics but this one is NICE

I love my songs and cherish them deeply so this took a long time. I love questoins. PLEASE LISTEN TO ANY OF THESE music is so intigral to my life and i dont listen to a lot so yeah. I also only like like three genres of music so if you like one of these youll like them all LOL

[polyamorouspunk]

Heyy tumblr bestie!!

Life is still absolutely *WACK* but its *fine* I took today off work to just not and get my shit together a bit. Dad got biopsy results that he’s refusing to look at, niece is being pulled out of school cause of death threats, and Im just here lol

On a brighter note though! I got invited to a dnd campaign for January so I’ve been working on a really fun new character!! AND, Im taking Mountain Boy to my family’s Christmas party tomorrow which is great cause I’ll get to avoid all the ‘why no boyfriend?’ Questions but also SO nerve wracking cause my family is MUCH crazier than his. But Im excited anyways to make him play cards with me there and meet my fam (except my brother and nephew cause they’re down in Kentucky cause my nephew qualified for the junior olympics for track)

Anyhow, I hope you have a good weekend!! Lots of love! 💛💛💛

-key

Hey there! Love you so much too!

I’m glad Mountain Boy is meeting your family today! Congrats to your nephew! In our family newsletter I saw that on Thanksgiving one of my cousins had a gymnastics meet that they were inviting the family to and I was like man I would go if I still lived in Connecticut. I remember being invited along to my neighbor’s once and it was neat. When I was up visiting you my cousin was doing hers at the college which I think I told you about, you said it was pretty far away, like 5 hours right? She ended up spending the night with me at her grandma’s house the night before I left and I was taking a plane back to NC and she was going to be driving to NC that day as well. Her and her mom just came down to visit the 2nd week of November so her mom could run a race with my mom’s other cousin. And I’ll be looking forward to coming up next summer to visit you again!

I really would love to play dnd but I don’t have anyone to play with and I think I would need to play in person to really understand what’s going on. I was part of a test pilot group for a dnd-style game my friend and their brother pioneered and when I went to stay at their house my friend was like “by the way we’re talking about this game we made up” and both their brother and I were like “yeah OUR friend group was the test subject for that” and they were like OH RIGHT I FORGOT. They have a Friday family game night that I was crashing (they invited me to crash it since I was sleeping there, and invited our other best friend and her husband to crash it too if they wanted) but since it was Halloween it was more of a party where my friend and I watched Bluey for 2 hours and ate food their mom had made and we exchanged gifts and I got gifts too and I was like 😭 thank you 😭

I’ve been keeping it on the down-low but I’m dating again (really lowkey for right now because holiday season is retail is nightmare) but I haven’t really told anyone outside of my discord server because I was like “hey advice on this” and then my friend on discord I talk to every day and my best friend since she had to third-wheel the last date we went on since she was diving me around. My other friends have met her before but I doubt anyone remembers because my other best friend has the WORST memory (like forgetting we were the ones who demoed their game) but my other friend might remember because we all went to college together. I should tell my other friends I just have not.

Sending your dad so much love and support, as well as you and Mountain Boy and the rest of your family.

[nickgerlich]

Pour Me Another

They’re ba-a-ack. AB InBev and its Bud Light brand have been radio silent since mid-April and the LGBTQ/transgender controversy. But they’ve returned with both guns blazing, and their biggest summer ad campaign ever. With Bud Light, it’s “Easy To Summer.” Or so they say.



Probably not a bad idea, given that Bud Light has now slipped to the Number 2 brand in the US.

The new campaign is rich in outdoorsy activities that typify summer in the US, meaning lots of picnics, playing in the sun, goofing off…and drinking Bud Light. If you watch the ad a few times, you will notice they have done a slick job pigeonholing their target market, as the undercurrent is decidedly very white, straight, and…to be honest…rather out of shape.

Yup. Sounds like Joe Six Pack to me. Bud Light is getting back to basics.

There is also no escaping the fact that, no matter what Bud Light does, it is going to alienate someone now. While it may get some of its boycotters to reconsider, those who are LGBTQ or its allies may feel slighted. Of course, Pride Month is only one month out of the year, and Bud Light (nor the vast majority of other major brands) never actively showed any support the other 11 months. Still…it’s June for a few more days, so there’s that.

You also cannot miss that Bud Light is relying on music to carry its message, just as we have been discussing lately. The song—Chic’s Good Times—dates to 1979. Whether this means Bud Light is going for an older demo, or thinks the song is timeless, will be determined in the next few months.

The campaign is not just a knee-jerk reaction to what happened in April, but rather an extension of what was launched during Super Bowl LVII last February. That campaign was “Easy To Drink, Easy To Enjoy.” It was well-received, and is easily expanded to different seasons.

The summer promotion includes $10,000 a week in giveaways, sweepstakes to cover bar tabs, and the Bud Light Backyard Tour, a concert series featuring several artists. Bud Light is also working in advance of the coming NFL season by linking to several star players in ads that will debut right before football action fires up.



By now you are probably wondering whether any artist or athlete would risk being connected to Bud Light, given what happened a couple of months ago. The naysayers have been pretty vocal in condemning anyone remotely connected to the brand, including independent distributors and retailers. Individual brands, meaning personal brands, are just as critical for maintaining as are corporate brands. Either these artists and athletes do not see any risk, or they were paid well enough to allay any fears.

It is critical for Bud Light to get on with doing business, crisis or not. Their silence lasted a bit too long. The ticking clock suggested the brand did not know what to do. But with the new campaign, even though they are acting as if nothing happened, it is better than silence. And you would never want to bring up April again anyway, so it is apropos for them to pick up the pieces and try to rebuild their position as the top-selling beer. After all, even with the controversy, they only slipped to second. It’s not as if they were exiled to an uninhabited island.

Welcome back, Bud Light. Although it was pretty noisy on social media it was rather quiet on the telly. While marketing text book authors will be mentioning the controversy for years to come—much like Coca Cola’s fateful move in 1985 to kill its flagship brand, only to reinstate it—I am betting that Bud Light will regain its prominence. Heck, we forgave Coca Cola its moment of indiscretion, and we will likely do the same for Bud Light.

One can hope, anyway.

Dr “Still Not My Beer, Though” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[vampirememory]

Hiii how are you doing today? I firstly wanted to wish you a very pleasant and joyful festive szn <33 I hope that you have been, you are and that you will be experiencing many moments of big and small happiness 🤍

I was wondering if it would be alright for me to ask for a free reading, in the case where you’re not taking them anymore, pls feel free to ignore this ask <3

If you are taking them, would it be alright for me to ask you for a reading about my future spouse please? It could be anything general that you might like to say!!

My initials are: ABS ✨

I wish you a lovely day ahead!! Lots of love 💗

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, it's been a busy season :)

Thank you for requesting a reading! I hope this resonates :)

Your Reading:

I used one of my oracle decks for this, after previously using my oracle deck for another reading.

Someone here may have some guilt to release. I'm not sure if this is you or your future spouse, but someone may be hurt and may be looking for a relationship to fix their problems, although they don't see all of the beautiful things in front of them. You may meet at a time like this, where one of you feels this way. You'll help each other become more comfortable in each other's being, help each other sing and be free like little birds on a Sunday morning (very specific?). I think this is before the relationship though. You might be friends who bring out the best in each other and help each other become stronger and more powerful, showing to each other that you need no one to improve you (that you're powerful enough to do this on your own, sometimes with a little encouragement). Powerhouse energy, both of you.

I'm being drawn to a single clover in one of the cards, despite the card literally being "clover". They might be lucky, you might think they're lucky, or they might stand out to you, or vice versa. They might have glasses and wear somewhat flowy fabrics, similar to what you would wear in the hot summer. You might meet in a summer when you feel very hot and sticky like it's unusually humid and hot for your town/country. They might be hot (you might think they're hot physically) OR you're both just very hot like it's hot outside and you both are turning into puddles 🔥😫. It might distract you from what they look like initially, you might not get a good look at them because you're too distracted by the heat, lol! Love at second sight?

They might be very serious. You might catch wind of their less serious side on this day, I'm seeing someone blonde who's drenched in (water? their own sweat? it's not clear here 😥) who's complaining about their t-shirt or something being ruined, making jokes about how hot it is. They might not normally be like this so when you meet them again, you're very confused? You might judge them a bit. It might be a mask though, ohhh you might see right through it and stick around anyway just to see how it goes.

I just heard Germany, they might be German, you might be German, you might be in Germany when this occurs? In the beginning I thought of the heat wave that went over Europe last year (I'm not European so I don't know the info).

You guys might like to cool off on a pier over water, talking about things. Good friend vibes. Wondering how you ended up with such a good friend, and them thinking the same. You guys might be separated for a bit due to unforeseen circumstances but you'll come back together again. Maybe they're on vacation? Or you're on vacation? University? It's a slow burn, but slow burns are good burns (they don't leave you scalded! I saw someone bandaging someone's burnt finger, aww).

Numbers 14, 41, 28, and 7 might be significant.

shufflemancy;

can I call you tonight by dayglow | portugal by walk the moon | everybody talks by neon trees | love of mine (night visions demo) by imagine dragons

all the songs give summer crush vibes just like I said, super cute 💖

I also thought of the song nineteen by dylan, the gambler by fun., and am gold by train came up there at some point (I replaced it since it didn't feel right but I felt called to put it there anyway).

also final message: if it's an ex or someone you have been hurt by in the past it's not them. they're better for you. SO much better.

[lightandsoundsmau]

4.

July 10th 2006

Ed felt the anxiety pool in his chest, as he aimed his finger to press in the buzzer on the next house down.

He’d been lucky so far but sooner or later that luck would run it’s course and he’d find himself face to face with a kid from his school. The thought of it made the acid in his gut stir.  

It wasn’t the thought of seeing a classmate, though for certain there were classmates he DID NOT have any desire to casually run into. The fear was of the question they’d ask, questions they’d been avoiding since they had disappeared from school last fall. 

They were questions Ed knew he’d have to face sooner or later, but he very much hoped later would win out in that equation.

He had hoped to push the questions off to the start of next year, save up all the anxiety  for that first day back. He’d be dreading it either way he figured, and at least then he’d be able to return to the sanctuary of the Radio room when it all became too much.

Ed fiddled with the long-since-past-its’-prime disc player. It was currently skipping on the underwriting part of one of his last years pre-recorded overnight sets for the station. A irritating krazylazkrazylazkrazylaz reverberated over and over in their head, as the disk tried desperate to play out an ad for the local laser tag place. 

Finally, the cacophony reached a fever pitch and Ed ripped the ear buds from his ears and shoved them and the device deeply into the inner pocket of his jean jacket.  

Anti-skip my ass.

They really need to convince Hornigold to start letting them record digitally. They ended up converting them anyways to put them in the overnight line-up, and it would make it a lot easy to take his shows home too. 

Ed knew it might be lame to listen to his own shows like this, or so Jack had often informed him. But the station always got demos, so a lot of that music was really only accessible through his old shows, and, after all, he had picked those song because he liked them.

He also knew, or, again, had unhelpfully been told, that his focus on collecting music was narcotic at best, and obsessive at worst. But the thought of a song disappearing into his memory, until he couldn’t even hum the melody anymore, triggered something deeply melancholy in him. 

It was the same reason why the art which he’d scrolled on his bedroom walls included so many lyrics, poems, or lines from movies. They were more then a collection, each one held a story. Each had made contact with something inside him at the exact moment when he had needed it. He could, and often did, run his fingers along the multi-colored sharpie lines, and feel the memories and emotions of when he’d written them flood back into him.

He still mourned the loss of the markings on his bedroom door, which had been replaced after a particular bad night the prior summer. Many of the sentiments written there on had already faded out of his consciousness, into nothing.

He hated loosing things in general, but most of all he hate loosing memories, not being able to feel them anymore.

If he didn’t remember them who would.

Ed could hear the faint whirl of the struggling player in his pocket as he starred down the dark green paneling of the neighbors door.

He waited a few beats, possibly shorter then would be preferable to his program director, before retreating in the direction of the next house. 

He didn’t see the harm in it, figuring the theatre program would survive even if he didn’t sell his fair share of no-bake cookie dough. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t care. He actually enjoyed theatre, even when it wasn’t an alternative to incarceration. Though, he admittedly did like it more so when he didn’t have to spend his summer going door to door fundraising for it, and risking run ins with classmates with every ring of a new doorbell. 

Ed knew he had technically gotten off easy. A month in Juvenile and a referral to the summer theatre program his school hosted for troubled youths was light punishment in anyones book for certain. He wondered if Izzy had faired as well. 

That would be one good thing about classes starting at least. Getting to see his friends again. 

His father had thoroughly isolated them from most of their friends since the incident. No computer, no phone, no visitors.  

The last time he’d seen Izzy, he was being shuffled off to a different room in the precinct.

That was another problem with the questions, he hadn’t gotten to talk to Izzy, didn’t know how much he wanted him to share. 

They needed to talk. 

Ed began contemplating the possibility of using the whole “selling cookie dough” thing as a ruse to justify going to Izzy’s neighborhood, wondering if they could steal a few moments to talk about things before his mom made it to the door, and strategizing what he might do where Izzy’s mom to be the one to answer the bell. 

He was turning this scenario every which way in his mind, examining all the angles as, he pressed in the bell for the house five down from his.

Dinosaur boxers.

The house was older and modest in size, like most of those on the block, though even from the curb it bore the telltale markings of the new money that had recently started flooding into the established neighborhood, buying up property and “rehabbing” it. The newly installed sod lawn, in the place of the front garden, was a death knell for the neighborhood, a harbinger of things to come. 

The house itself was mostly unassuming, construction on the externals looked to be just getting underway, siding being replaced, new concrete laid for the front steps, and a fresh coat of teal paint on the front door. 

The door which had swung open before the doorbell could finish ringing out its’ rendition of Gnossienne no. 5, a song which Ed thought deserved better then to be watered down to a 10 second clip played through doorbell speakers.

A door which behind it revealed a boy. 

This was not a boy Ed knew from school. Though he did look to be of a similar age to them, he could have also been a year older. A college student? Or perhaps, from the local private school? That would certainly fit, considering the house. In any case, there was something familiar about him that Ed couldn’t place. 

Something almost nostalgic about the shape of the constellation of freckles on his cheek, and the soft curl of his golden hair, which currently stood up at odd angles, as if he’d just rolled from bed. Ed wondered if this may in fact be the case, considering his state of dress. 

Ed may have had more luck placing him in their memory had it not been for that detail, because the state of dress, with which he had chosen to fling open the door for the whole world to see, was a pair of dinosaur boxers and now that’s all Ed’s mind had room to hold.

Who does that?

What a lunatic.

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[imaginedisish]

Someone Great (Steve Harrington x Reader)

A/N: Hey guys! Here is my first Steve Harrington fic! I hope y'all like it. This is based on all of the “Steve talking about having kids with the reader” requests! It’s a bit angsty, and I’m just gonna say it now...SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SEASON 4 VOL 2!!! Please be careful LOL. So this one is based on Someone Great by LCD Soundsystem, but I also listened a lot to This is Me Trying by Taylor Swift while writing this. Anyway, here is some angst to fluff, enjoy y'all.

Summary: (SPOILERS AHEAD) As Steve’s best friend, you think you know everything about him. But you don’t know about his dream to have a Winnebago filled with Harringtons, and that you’re in it. 

Warnings: SPOILERS INCOMING FOR SEASON 4 VOLUME 2!!!!!!! Canon divergence! I literally ignore Nancy and completely replace her in the Winnebago scene LOL. Cursing, character deaths from season 4 volume 2 mentioned below the cut so beware! Canon mentions/depictions of violence and death in general, friends to lovers. Also, probably tons of grammatical errors. Takes place the day before that “two days later”...

Word Count: 2,048...kinda short for me.

The past week, or the past few years, rather, had been far from normal. Battling inter-dimensional monsters had become somehow…commonplace. But it never got easier, and neither did losing those around you. 

It was a day after you, Steve, Robin, and Nancy had narrowly escaped Vecna and the Upside Down. You knew things weren’t over yet, far from it. You knew this was just the beginning. The destruction of practically all of Hawkins, despite your attempts to destroy Vecna, was enough proof of that. 

Your ears were still ringing, your heart was still pounding against the walls of your chest, and your head was still spinning. Your mind went back and forth between Eddie and Max, refusing to quit, engraving fictional images of their limp bodies in the very foremost part of your memory. It had been impossible to shake. 

And you knew it always would be. 

All of this would be eternally impossible to simply shake off. This was the type of shit that would continue plaguing you with nightmares thirty years down the line once you’ve settled down with a family of your own. 

 In search of some semblance of peace, some inkling of hope that maybe this could all get better one day, you take your bike down to Lover’s Lake. 

 You find your way down to the dirty dunes of the beach, and you sit down on the cool damp sand. Your eyes focus on the water in front of you, reflecting the bright blue sky and the glimmering sun above. It feels unfair, how beautiful of a day it is. You wanted the world to stop, to comprehend what the fuck had just happened. You wanted to force the universe to grieve with you, even if it was just for a brief second. Eddie and Max deserved that. You knew they deserved more than just that, but it would suffice for now. 

 Instead, you sat alone on the beach of the lake. You remember summer days when your parents would take you and Steve down to the lake. Your parents had met Steve’s parents when they first moved to Hawkins, and the couples clicked instantly. Still, your parents noticed how absent Steve’s parents were, and they quickly began taking Steve on your family day trips. It was here, on the beach of Lover’s Lake, that you and Steve developed your life-long friendship. It was over a stupid little sandcastle that you and Steve had pinky-sworn to always help each other, no matter what. 

 After demo-dogs, evil time bending wizards, and a massive Mind Flayer, it was safe to say you had each held up your ends of the bargain.

 You would never admit it out loud, but you desperately wished he was here with you now. It felt selfish to need him. He was probably just as traumatized as you, after all. It doesn’t help that you’ve been pining over him for the past few years. You’ve watched him hop from girl to girl, to Nancy, and back to girl to girl again. But now, that seemed like the smallest of your problems. 

 You try to push your thoughts of Steve out of your head. You squeeze your eyes shut, as if you were hard resetting yourself. But all you can see is Steve in that stolen Winnebago, staring deeply into your eyes from the driver’s seat. 

 “You? A big family?” You questioned, dumbfounded at Steve’s confession. 

 “Oh yeah,” He smirks softly, briefly musing over his response before continuing. “I’m talking like a full brood of Harringtons…like five, six kids…”

 You cut him off, eyes wide with shock. “Six kids?” A smile tugs softly at your lips as he glances over at you. 

 “Yeah, six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys…” He trails off, eyes on the road again, the corners of his mouth turned up. 

 The thing was, you could see it. You could see each part of Steve’s dream as he explained it. You could see him, surrounded by six children tackling him down on the sands of some beach town in California. You could see him propping up one of his daughters onto his shoulders to get the perfect view of the Grand Canyon. You could see him pitching up a tent at Yellowstone all because the kids begged to sleep outside, to actually feel like they were camping. 

 But most of all, and possibly worst of all, you could see yourself there with him. And God, you desperately wanted to be there with him. 

 You turn towards Steve. His gaze was already set on you, as if he had asked you a question and was awaiting your answer. You search his eyes as your smile widens. 

 “That’s beautiful, Steve,” Your voice is barely above a whisper, as if your words had gotten stuck in your throat. “Really, it sounds like a dream,” You force the words out this time, loud enough so that he knows you really mean it.

 Because you did. 

 And you still do. 

 You could feel the tears welling in your eyes. All of this was becoming unbearable. You could feel yourself waking up from the shock of losing Eddie and practically losing Max. What are you even supposed to do in a situation like this? How are you supposed to go back to college in the fall? How are you even supposed to go home now? Nothing felt like home anymore, not after all this. 

 The only thing that felt like home was him. 

 Steve. 

 But that didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter. He was still in love with Nancy, and if your friends weren’t dead yet, they were certainly still in danger. 

 A chill runs down your spine as the wind whips off the lake and across the sand. You shudder under the touch of the breeze. You shut your eyes, tears freeing themselves as they fall down your cheeks. You bring your legs tightly into your chest, your arms reaching around them to hold yourself in place. Your head falls against your knees, the tears becoming uncontrollable. Your sobs grow louder, the heaving of your chest growing quicker. 

 In the near distance, you can hear tires screeching against pavement, and a car engine suddenly turning off. You sniffle softly, ignoring the car. You didn’t care if someone saw you like this. You deserved to cry, to break down. What else were you supposed to do?

 What are the options?

When someone great is gone

When someone great is gone.

 You could hear someone calling out a name, and as the voice becomes closer, the name the person is calling sounds a lot like yours. Suddenly, there’s a hand on your shoulder. The touch is familiar, warm, welcoming.

 Steve.

 You glance up, your face wet, your eyes bloodshot. The sight of you makes his heart stutter and clench painfully. He immediately falls to your side, wrapping you in his arms. 

 “Hey,” He whispers into your ear. “It’s me, I’ve got you now, it’s okay.” 

 You heave into his chest, your sobs echoing across the lake. 

 “It j-just keeps coming,” You stutter. “A-all of this, it’s n-never gonna stop, it’s never gonna…” You trail off, pressing your face farther into Steve’s chest. 

 And it keeps coming

And it keeps coming

And it keeps coming

Till the day it stops

 You’re in Steve’s lap now. His hands rub softly against your back, his fingers drawing shapes against any exposed bits of skin. He shushes you, cradling you in his arms. 

 “We’re gonna be okay,” He reassures as one of his hands travels up to the nape of your neck, gently combing through your hair. “We’re gonna get out of this, I promise.”

 “But what if-,”

 Steve immediately cuts you off. “No what if’s,” His voice is firmer now. He pulls you away from him for just a second, as if to solidify his point. His eyes stare into yours. “You’re getting out of this, and I’ll do whatever I have to do to make sure that happens.” 

 You swallow harshly, his words burning into your skin. You shake your head. “But you have to get out of here, too,” You insist. “You gotta get a nice girl and your six kids and that Winnebago,” You say, your voice shaking with every syllable. Even as kids, you always put Steve’s happiness before your own. If he had a shot at leaving all of this behind, you wanted him to take it. 

 Steve scoffs, looking off into the distance. “A nice girl?” He questions, his hands still firmly pressed against you, caressing you. 

 You nod as you struggle to keep yourself together, images of Steve starting a life with Nancy flashing through your mind. “Yeah,” You say, taking a deep breath. “Someone great, like Nancy.”

 Steve looks at you incredulously, and then looks back out to the lake, searching for the right thing to say. 

 “That thing, about the Winnebago and the kids,” He whispers, his eyes frantically taking in all your features. “I wasn’t imagining Nancy when I told you all that. I never have…” He trails off, his Adam’s Apple bobbing in his throat. 

 “I imagined you.” 

 Those were the words that you had always wanted to hear, the words that made the sky open up, the words that made the world melt away. 

 Steve’s grip moves down to your waist, his fingers pressing into the exposed skin between your t-shirt and your jeans. One hand remains in your hair, pulling your face closer to his. He’s just inches away from you now. You can feel his breath tickle your nose as he parts his lips. 

 “I’ve imagined being with you for as long as I could possibly remember,” He confesses, his forehead pressing against your own. “The kids, the Winnebago, the vacations, it all means nothing if I’m not doing it with you.” 

 His lips ghost over yours. You breathe softly against him. “Steve I-,”

 He cuts you off. “And I get it if you don’t feel the same. I get it if the six kids thing sounds crazy. I don’t want to ruin our friendship and I don’t want to scare you away. It’s just that-,”

 “Steve,” You cut him off this time, a smile making its way across your face. “I want that. I want you, and your brood of Harringtons,” You giggle at the last bit of your confession, your face lighting up for the first time in what feels like an eternity. 

 “Oh thank fucking God,” Steve mutters, somehow pulling you closer to him. 

 His lips press firmly against yours, capturing you, securing you, and simultaneously freeing you all at once. It feels like for just one second, not all is lost. It feels like there’s a future out there where you and Steve and the kids save Hawkins. It feels like there’s a future out there where all of these deaths and battles aren’t in vain, that they mean something. It feels like there’s a future where you and Steve make it, like there’s a future out there where your little Harringtons are fighting each other to be Steve’s first mate in the front seat of a Winnebago. 

 The kiss is languid and smooth. His body moves carefully against yours, as if he’s afraid you’ll turn to dust in front of him, as if you’ll crumble and he’ll have no way to put you back together. It’s clear, even in just this kiss, that he’s afraid that he’s going to lose you just as soon as he’s finally gotten you. 

 And you can’t help but feel the same. 

 When his lips finally part from your own, you can’t help but want more. It wasn’t enough. The cool breeze that comes off the lake whisks between the two of you, causing Steve to grip tighter onto you. 

 “We’re gonna get that future, I promise,” He whispers. 

 “Good,” You whisper back. “Because I’ve got some names in mind.” You grin widely. 

 “Oh yeah?” Steve grins even wider than you. “You gotta tell me then. Spill.”

 You knew it wouldn’t be like this forever. But for a moment, just a moment, things seemed perfect, safe.

 We're safe, for the moment

Saved for the moment…

[astaroth1357]

Brothers React to the MC Looking at Them Lovingly

This is a personal experiment. This is the very first time I've written one of these with a goal in mind, "Make them fall in love all over again." It's a tall order. I hope I succeeded. 🙏 Special thanks to @a-chaotic-dumbass for picking the mood for this one!

Intro:

We all know that look. The one where one person stares at another like they just realized they're the only thing in the universe and they're in fucking awe of it. The kind of look that tells you they're utterly enthralled by that other person and just can't get enough of their presence. That look. Yeah, the brothers just got that look out of the MC.

Let's warm some cold hearts, everybody.

Lucifer

Lucifer was always beautiful. Always has been, as an angel or a demon.

A morning star is one that outshines all the rest. It stands out when the other stars have dimmed, holding onto its luster in defiance of the sun. 

There couldn't be a truer title for Lucifer to have. Not the horrors of war nor the fires of Hell could tarnish his radiance in any way…

But there were moments, like right then, where the MC caught a glimpse of a different sort of Lucifer.

His brothers would often only see the uptight Lucifer, the practiced visage of perfection that he tried so hard to keep up… 

But after a long day, when he thinks he's alone, he retires to his room to listen to his music and the difference is astonishing.

There's something so entrancingly calm about him… How the light of the fireplace flickers and dances across his alabaster skin to the subtle slouch of his posture. His face no longer marred by creases of stress and frustration… 

And his expression is so pure… So tranquil and at peace… Beauty without effort. A shine that can't be ignored. A morning star, in the truest sense of the word…

It took awhile for Lucifer to see the MC leaning against his doorframe.

They were staring at him with the oddest look… Smiling like they were enraptured by something, but he didn't have a clue why. He was just sitting there…

So, naturally, he turned to suspicion.

"Am I really that amusing…?"

Frankly, he wasn’t prepared for the little laugh they let out in response.

"Mm? No, no... I'm just always so amazed by you, is all. I'll leave you to your music..."

Having thoroughly ruined the mood, the MC then turned to leave. But Lucifer was already upon them before they could step away, wrapping his arms around their waist and letting contented hum escape his chest.

"Going so soon…?"

Apparently he appreciated the compliment.

Mammon

He didn't have to do it.

When Belphie bumped into one of the House's vases, shattering it against the tile, he didn’t have to take the fall for it.

It wasn’t connected to him at all. He could have stayed quiet and no one would have pointed a finger at him for once.

But he did.

When Mammon set his phone down on the table, MC knew instantly that he had lied in the chat.

He was with them the entire day, he didn't have the time to accidentally break a vase. He hadn't even gone down that hallway all day...

But he said something anyway.

And he didn't even look fazed. He didn't turn towards them seeking approval nor did he look irritated that Belphie didn't speak up. He didn't curse at himself for doing something so self-sacrificing either...

When Mammon leaned back into the cushion of his couch, the MC saw something truly remarkable on his face… A smile. A small one, sure, but relaxed… 

Assured in his own actions. Confident in his choice and accepting the consequences… undeserved, and likely thankless, they may be.

A genuine, serene smile…

Mammon wasn't sure what he expected to see when he turned to the MC. Probably confusion or disbelief that he, the Great Mammon, could be so selfless.

Definitely not the awed, lovestruck look he got...

"G-gah!" He panicked slightly and pressed himself back against the armrest of the couch in shock. "Wh-... What'cha lookin at me like that for??"

When the MC didn't answer after a few seconds and just kept staring, he honestly didn't know what to do. Were they broken or something??

"Oi, MC! I asked ya wh-Hey wait a minute!!"

He made a noise between a yelp and a shout when the MC leapt forward and latched their arms onto him. What had gotten into them??

"U-uh… MC? MC?? Damnit MC, answer me already!! Or at least stop squeezin so tight!!... MC!!!"

Leviathan 

To anyone else, it was just Levi being Levi.

He had finished a new episode of his latest animated obsession and he had to share it with someone. Anyone would do, but the MC was always willing to lend an ear.

Something about Levi really changes when he talks about his passions… It's like he comes alive in a whole new way.

He speaks at a mile-a-minute, but that's because he's so excited the words fly from his mouth. 

Some part of him is always bouncing, be it his leg or body. Sometimes even his tail will swish and curl behind him like an ecstatic puppy. And his eyes… 

Citrine pools that glimmer and dilate from the exhilaration of it all. It's his little world and anyone can see he's thrilled to be sharing it. 

You'd never know he was shy. You'd never think he'd look down himself. You'd never guess that he hid himself away… Why would someone so full of passion and life ever want to? Some things are just too beautiful to keep hidden...

Levi had only gotten six minutes into his latest rant before he finally registered how the MC was staring at him…

This man has seen enough shoujo to know what that look means and it shut him up sooo quick. If anyone else were in the room they would have seen a beet-red Levi desperately trying to hide his face.

"M-MC…! S-top staring at me like that…!!"

"Like what~?" 

He didn't have to look at them to hear the teasing lilt in their voice.

"MC…" He peeked out from behind his fingers to see them still staring and covered himself up more vigorously. "Stoooop…!!!"

But secretly? He wished they'd never stop. His cheeks may have been red from embarrassment, but his heart was trying to hammer its way out of his chest to hug them itself. Hell, he'd have happily given it over to them if they'd asked…

Please just let those loving eyes be for him and him alone...

Satan

Soft isn't exactly a word anybody would use to describe Satan, least of all himself.

His anger was quick to spark, his strength was nothing to scoff at, and even his smiles were nothing but plastic for nearly all of his existence…

Nearly.

The MC learned surprisingly quick that there was one thing that could bypass all of the hidden ferocity to Satan's personality. Something that could make him melt like butter in the summer sun…

Satan had always looked a little cute when he was reading. He was easily at his most expressive when engrossed in a thrilling story or deeply intrigued by something he found between the pages of a book…

But watching Satan read about cats, as he was right then, was really something else entirely.

Maybe it was the way his emerald eyes would sparkle or the lopsided grin he just couldn't hide as he would scan the pages about the playful habits of Bengals or the relaxed nature of Ragdolls…

Maybe it was the sheer impassioned dedication he took the subject, pouring countless hours into collecting and memorizing every fact he could from their diets to coat maintenance.

Or maybe it was the sheer fact that anytime he saw a picture of kitty in-print he looked like a besotted schoolgirl drawing hearts around her crush in a teen magazine.

Really, who's to say? But to the MC, it was proof that under all that anger, there was a tender, loving center even for the smallest, softest creatures…

Satan automatically snapped his book closed when he saw MC watching him from behind a bookshelves. Caught red-handed…

He knows exactly how he looks when he's doing his research internally squealing over cat pictures so he tries to do so in private...

He was about to sputter out a defensive explanation but then he registered their face…

He'd seen that look described in stories, romance novels mostly, but he'd rarely seen it in action… and never once leveled at him with such intensity…

Not to be cliche, but frankly his heart skipped a beat.

Satan forgot about his book briefly and got up to close the distance between them, tilting their chin up to keep their eyes on him.

"Like something that you see, Kitten?"

"You could say that…"

He laughed at their attempt to play coy, but let it slide just this once… Easy to do with them looking at him so amorously.

Asmodeus 

Asmo is a very popular demon. Someone so free ought to know quite a lot of people, after all.

And, of course, he had plenty of fans. He made DevilTube videos, hosted radio shows, fashion designed, and even modeled.

So it wasn't very surprising when a young demoness stopped him while he and the MC were out shopping. It wasn’t the first time he had been asked to sign autographs, but this meeting… it was different.

It was clear to them both that this girl was shy. Though she held out the paper, her eyes stayed firmly on the ground and she stumbled on her question… She likely a fan from afar, but everything about her seemed meek… unassuming.

Most people would have just gave the autograph then went on with their day. The interaction could have taken five seconds at most… but not Asmo.

He asked her name… where she was from, how she was feeling, her favorite foods, outfits, makeup, you name it. All with investment.

It was amazing to watch the shy young woman slowly open up, getting more bright and cheerful with each passing question until it evolved into a healthy conversation.

When their little meeting finally wrapped up, he gave her back the paper (now signed) but also fished out a bottle of perfume from among the mountains of bags he was carrying. He gave it to her and wouldn't hear anything to the contrary, he could always buy another.

None of his brothers ever gave Asmo enough credit for his giving nature… even if he had his own way of going about it. Though he cared so much about image and his ability to shine, he never hesitated to make sure that the people around him shined too...

Asmo waved to the fan as she scampered away and was about to  apologize to the MC when he saw their face…

The man knows this look well. He's seen it a billion times, though it was particularly cute coming from them.

"Awww MC! Taken by my beauty are you~?"

He was about ready to kiss their cheek when they responded.

"No, not your looks, Asmo… with you."

… Oh.

It was very rare to see Asmo speechless, but for a few seconds his mind seemed to take in their words… letting them fully sink in before his heart utterly melting.

Oh MC… His sweet MC!!

Asmo ended up dropping the rest of his bags just so he could properly litter his human in nuzzles and kisses, the both of them humming and giggling in delight despite their shameless PDA.

Of course it would be his MC to see that part in himself… Who else would take the time?

Beelzebub 

Food is a precious resource to Beel. For him, it's a lifeline. A good meal could save him from the brink of starvation…

But that still doesn't make him incapable of sharing from time to time.

He and the MC were walking back to the House after getting takeout from Hell's Kitchen. Beel hadn't even waited until they left the restaurant to start eating his share, spilling the smell of fresh food into the air around them…

Things were going fine on their route back until they heard whimpering behind them…

A hellhound puppy, not quite old enough to bear its fangs, seemingly followed them as they were walking… It looked like it had been out for some time and eyed their food with hungry eyes, but weak posture. Who knows when it last had a meal?

The MC was about to tug at Beel's sleeve and say something, but their demon was ahead of them this time.

A casual observer might have gawked at the sight of Gluttony kneeling down to offer such a lowly creature a sandwich. But the MC knew better. When you spend your whole life hungry, nobody more than you understands that kind of pain in someone else. 

This reaction wasn't out of character for Beel, it was elementary.

And when the puppy finished its meal and covered Beel's cheeks with appreciative licks, he just laughed and scratched behind its ears. Amethyst eyes looking more relieved at its health than disappointed he lost some of his lunch...

Food was Beel's lifeline, but kindness is what made him who he was…

When the pup finally scampered off, Beel looked over at the MC to tell them it'd be alright and saw their face…

He wasn't really sure what they were staring at… Did he have something between his teeth again?

"MC? Are you okay...?"

They laughed at him for some reason but pulled him in for a hug so they must have meant well.

"You're so sweet, Beel…"

Beel's never one to refuse a compliment so he just hugged them back, beaming.

"Thank you, MC…"

Belphegor 

To say that Belphegor tended to be on the melancholic side would be an understatement… It wasn’t that he was incapable of expressing joy, it was just harder for him to do than most. Not helped, of course, by his tendency to keep his true feelings vague and hard to pinpoint.

But on those rare occasions where he was overjoyed… Belphie could really be something special…

The MC and Belphie were attending one of Beel's games and it was a tight one… Both teams had spent most of it tied and Beel's team was running out of time to overtake that slim margin.

Belphie had always been a supporter of his twin's athletics, but this time it was tense even for him. He kept on the edge of his seat and didn't even nod off during the breaks like he normally would… The MC could just tell how nervous he was for Beel…

But right as the time was about to run out, Beel made a last minute score and sure, the whole field erupted, but Belphie? Belphie hollered.

The normally sleepy and mellow demon was on his feet in an instant and practically shredding his vocal chords in excitement. If his tail had been out, it would have been beating against the bleachers like a war-drum. And his expression?

Belphie's smile is said to stop hearts for a reason. When he puts his all into a grin it's almost like he ascends to Heaven once more, as pure as an angel's choir and as warm as a summer's breeze… Nothing in his eyes but pride and adoration for his beloved twin brother.

Truly, a heartwarming sight to behold…

Belphie didn't calm down until the rest of the crowd settled and was about to point out Beel's skill to the MC when he noticed their face.

… oh no… Why do they look so sappy…?

"You really love your brother, don't you?"

Belphie quickly hid his thoughts behind an irritated frown and plopped back down in his seat… but that didn't shield them from seeing his pink cheeks.

"Of course I do. What kind of question is that?"

He debated just joining Beel on the field to hide his embarrassment when he heard them snicker back.

"Yeah, you're right… Don't mind me."

Oh he minded. He minded a lot that he let his carefully veiled image slip like that. But thinking back to that smile on their face…?

Maybe being a little open wasn't so bad after all...

[fatmclassic]

Ok back to Lungs, my first and favourite.

This is the most commercial album, not surprising, there'd been a lot of hype before it was even released and a lot of people needed it to be big, not just florence and her machine. It's expensive sounding, no demo-ish sounding album tracks here, everything's been tweaked to perfection.

Anyway dog days is still a brilliant anthem. One I don't return to all that often as it was so overplayed and I usually skip it on live recordings too, it's just so drawn out. But when you are actually there, that makes it all the better. Getting carried off by loads of drunken strangers leaping in unison is always fun. Made so much better with strings and brass sections later on. May it never leave the setlist.10/10

Rabbit heart now. My very first track that I saw on Jonathan Ross when I was looking for 'my band' as a teen. A huge song with lots of layers, harp, and mythology references with a wickerman esque music video. Amazing live again, I got hoisted onto shoulders at every gig. 10/10

I'm not calling you a liar aka ghosts. A title taken from a poem, spooky references, harp and Isabella summers co writing. It's also one of the more personal songs on this album. It's a bit slow going but builds into that usual Florence finish. This song is actually quite lush, even if I'm not a big fan of slower songs. I still prefer the more raw and angry 'don't tell me' of this track however. Very nice, and appreciate it a bit more now 7/10

Howl is one there is few live videos of and that's because she doesn't really like singing it. I used to love the strings on the version. The heavy gasping breaths, and low vocal mixes are a nice touch. And I still love the driving drums. It's fun, if a little bit fillerish. It's a song about werewolves,as it says on the tin. 7/10

Kiss with a fist is ok, but not all that different from the many landfill indie tracks at the time. It's fun live though, as it's fairly unique in her discography. Still prefer happy slap though. Lyrics here are a bit shit, yeah it's a metaphor but compared to her other songs it's pretty far down the list. 6/10

Not her song but it is a link to her earlier blusesy interests. I went through phases of really liking this one when I looked through her old performances. The bayou percussion and demo versions are better. The lyrics here are off putting imo, but she didn't write it. This is pre lungs Florence. 6/10

Drumming song my beloved. I had heard rabbit heart but this convinced me to buy the album. So sad it's her worst performing single. The general public has no taste. I think her dancing here in this video is better than the stuff she does now It's all here, big drums, choirs and religious and water references. This song is always amazing live, even without drums. Very underrated 10/10

Between two lungs is my dud of this album and that hasn't changed. It's one of her first proper so songs and I respect that. The demo if you can find it is a bit better. It's nice enough, one of the happier songs here but everything else here is just better. I'm never going to be at a gig hoping she plays this 4/10

Ireland's favourite Florence song, the O2 advert song, cosmic love. Another essential song that cemented Florence's sound. And a moment to let Tom Moth shine. She's never made better use of the harp than here. I love how overwhelming this song gets, it's just big and unashamedly dramatic. Music video is a bit meh. Still the highlight of her setlist to this day. Even better with strings. And that finish, it's all so good. Written in 30 minutes with a hangover too. Not bad going 10/10

My boy builds coffins is one of the first songs to click with me. A lot of the machine helped write this. Moves along at a nice pace and is a nice link to pre lungs Florence. Another storyline song. I prefer this to the harsh original. This was ok live, nothing groundbreaking. Interesting topic though. 8/10

Probably the most commercial sounding song here with hurricane drunk Very polished. It's another quite personal one, wrapped up in metaphor. It's a nice heartbreak song, and Tom shows everyone what he can do. The single version had brass added to the end which really improved this song, even if the video was bleh. Interesting distorted synths in the background. The live version with really cool because the song actually sounds tipsy. Album version 7/10 single version 9/10

Blinding took me longest to warm up to. But I appreciate it so much now, it's the most fairytaleesque lyrics of all the songs her. The drums here are amazing, marching along. This song was fucking phenomenal live, closest thing I've had to religious experience. The strobes, the synths and the roaring wail. I actually love it so much. 10/10

I didn't like ygtl at first and for sick of hearing it everywhere. Video is nothing special but the single version is a bit better. I used to get so mad as a teen when they said they'd play Florence and it was always this one. But this song with a string arrangement is fucking amazing, like the royal Albert hall performance for example. Still, feels like the b side it originally was 5/10

Bird song intro is a nice curiosity. Rob wrote this alone and I remember listening to it over and over again at Davy Crocketts ranch during a family holiday at Disney land Paris. Birdsong is a cool throw back to old Florence. A song told almost like a story, like donkey kosh. Telltale heart with birds that gets wilder as it goes along. It's a nice throwback and I'm glad she brought this one along, even if only on the deluxe. 6/10

Falling is a favourite of mine among her entire discography. It's one of the few really delicate songs here and the part about only dealing things when you hit reality is personal to me. I love the swell at the end that ends so gently. A career highlight as far as I'm concerned. 10/10

Hardest of hearts is another I really like, it kind of glides along and like the heart pumping beat all the way through. She's more restrained here and a bit sinister. 7/10

Swimming is another favourite. The string opening grabbed me right away, as did the drums. Another water song. This is far better than the demo, which is more upbeat sounding. This song moves along at nice pace and I return to it a lot. The live version is very nice as well, especially the end. 9/10

Are you hurting the one you love is another team effort and pretty lofi. Classic Florence again, smashing pots and pans and violent imagery. I struggle to make of the lyrics to this day. I can imagine Kate Nash singing this. Not an essential track, but I enjoy it. 6/10

Heavy in your arms is a cool dirge. 'fingers laced a crown' is a standout lyric for me. Miserable Nd despairing, exactly how it should sound. The video was a bit odd,but it definitely made Florence look heavy, getting dragged about rather than carried. Not bad for a twilight track 7/10.

So Lungs overall is still firm favourite for me. So many great tracks, even in the deluxe. Her songwriting is more straight forward and simple here, but she was only getting started and it's all very good. The harp gets the most spotlight on this album. It's very much a collection of songs, an artist trying to find their sound. But that might be why I like this album so much, different songs to come back to and listen to in their own right. Little in the way of restraint and personal songs, but I'm not bothered by that. I spent hours as teen gather up different live versions of this album for my ipod so I've heard these songs in do many different ways. I'll always be biased, I admit, but this album is still no1 for me.

[lostlambs-ifgame]

hi everyone 🖤🖤 sorry i didn't get to update last week!! i was hoping to get the next chapter out Before the one month anniversary of the demo release but alas it was not meant to be 😫

chapter one i think is pretty info dump-y? which is why i've been somewhat hesitant to post. it's also an introductory chapter so y'know how those are - mostly just setting the scene and stuff. i don't know if maybe i've just been staring at it too long to objectively edit it so i've sent it off to a friend who can help!

once she's done with it expect an update in the next few days! i really have a lot of love for this project so i'm just going to keep moving with chapter 2 atm 🥰

and i'll probably also be making a discord after chapter 1 drops? mostly for suggestions and maybe beta testing purposes? but i'm not really sure how to make or handle one lol so i'll ask my gamer friends and look it up! i also just want to get to know your MCs 🖤🖤🖤 whether they're ruthless and cheerful or edgy and kind. character customization as in hair and build and clothing options will also be included in chapter 2 so i think that'll be fun!

anyways this turned into a longer post than i expected so i'll stop now lol. thank you again everyone! i hope you're all having an amazing summer/winter 🥰