#anything else or any further elaboration - go ahead and ask

[ayabeanworks]

Title: Can I meet you again?

Synopsis: AU in which Geto does not defect, but you do instead.

Character: SaShiSu x reader

Series: Let's Meet in the Spring (SaShiSu x reader)

Notes: Literally just heavy angst & sadness. Mentions of death, murder, suicide and reincarnation. Heavy themes. Lots of swearing. Spoilers for JJK season 2 (anime).

Part 2 available here!

Prequel available here!

AU sequel available here!

The songs I had playing while writing this was: - Hero by Alan Walker (Probably played this one the most that it's at the top of my repeated songs Spotify list ☠️) - Apollo (Eurovision ver) by Timebelle - Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan

"Oh?"

Shoko stared at you as you waved at her with a bright smile, brows raising in surprise as she took out a new smoke in the Shinjuku smoking area.

You made your way over to her, finding that she wasn't pushing you away. It was good to see a friend after a while, but you weren't too sure if you had that privilege anymore.

For you, you were testing the waters.

"Hey, Shoko." You took out a lighter from your pocket, one-handedly opening it for her to light her cigarette.

"Fancy seeing you here. You need something from me?" She glanced into your direction, taking a shallow inhale and extending her exhale.

You hummed in reply. "Just testing my luck."

"So, just to be sure, are the claims false?"

"Unfortunately, they're true." You could only bring yourself to shrug lightly, looking ahead. From your peripherals, you could see her taking out her phone to call the others.

"Just to be sure again: why?"

"I want to create a world where jujutsu sorcerers don't have to struggle." You didn't elaborate.

"Wow, that's funny!" Shoko laughed lightly, but there really wasn't anything humourous behind it. It was as if she was contemplating asking more. After all, everyone and everything struggles, so what is this righteous talk from you?

"Do you think I'm wrong?" You asked, hearing the faint ringing of her phone as she waited for one of the others to pick up.

"Right or wrong, it was dumb." Shoko didn't even hold back on her words, making you genuinely laugh at how frank she was, regardless had you been granted a bounty.

"Gojo, Geto, [name]'s here with me in Shinjuku." Gojo seemed to say something on the other side, but Shoko retorted, "No way! I don't wanna die." She hung up after conveying her message.

"So, what will you do now?" She turned to you, exhaling a puff of smoke into a ring above her head.

"I don't know. I might see you around, I guess." You took a step forward, facing her. "See you later, Shoko." You knew Gojo and Geto would be here at any moment, but you didn't know if you wanted to face them.

Shoko didn't say anything in response, just watching as the ashes fell from the cigarette between her fingers.

You didn't see, but it was the first time Shoko has made an expression where she was at a loss of what to do.

And, that was the last time you saw Shoko.

"WAIT, [NAME]!" Satoru bellowed out to you as you walked away, in front of the KFC you all used to go to until recently.

He caught up pretty fast...where's Sugu? You sensed his curse energy, but you weren't sure where it was. As for Satoru, he was only a few metres away from you down the slope of the street.

You sighed inwardly, ready to face him. "'toru."

The nickname you usually call him by hurt him more this time around as he registered how unaffectionate your voice was, contrary to the usual. It was devoid of any emotion. Like you didn't care about what you left behind. Like you didn't care about him.

"Explain yourself, [name]!" He demanded, sunglasses further down his nose as he watched you with wide eyes full of emotions of all kinds, but you mainly picked out disbelief and anger.

"There's nothing else to say. You've heard from Shoko." You stated, watching the twitch in his face as he evaluated your dismissive answer.

"So you'll kill anybody who makes life hard for Jujutsu sorcerers? Both sorcerers and non-sorcerers?" Satoru's voice rose in anger.

After all, you did kill an elder a week ago. It was the one that'd been annoying you since forever, the one who tried to get you purposely killed each and every time you went on a mission. Killing him was much easier than you had imagined, though.

"Well, if natural selection isn't going to do anything, I might as well do it instead." You crack a light joke, but your words were serious.

"That's not what I'm asking! I thought you were against killing if there was no meaning to it?!"

"There's a meaning behind everything. A purpose, even."

"No there isn't! You want to make a world where Jujutsu sorcerers don't suffer? That's impossible!"

"Satoru's right, [name]." Geto spoke from behind you, his voice wafting through the air as he went to stand closer to Gojo as he faced you. "There's a purpose to everything, but there's a better way of doing things than say, homicide. Especially for us in the Jujutsu world."

You wanted to scoff. But, you couldn't, because you used to be that way, too. But everything ate away at you, and you just weren't the same person anymore with the same aligning morals. You chose to go down the path you've decided to go down, even if it meant deserting everything you knew before.

"Is it really impossible?" Your voice was light, but the lilt in it was undeniably laced with seriousness. "I wouldn't do this if there was a shred of impossible in it."

The alarm on their faces was really something.

"[name]...you'll need to fight us if you keep going down this path." Suguru spoke his words deliberately, slowly, like he was getting a child to listen to him. He was careful.

Satoru clenched his teeth and fists. He wanted to say that it was impossible yet again, that when you fight them, you'll lose. But, you knew that. You knew, so why?

"Wow, I'll get to fight the 2 strongest sorcerers!" You clapped your hands together once, a smile on your lips, one that didn't reach your eyes. "Maybe so, but you're not my targets. There's some smaller fish compared to you I must get rid of first."

"Why?" Geto voiced both Gojo and his thoughts, a quick glance at Satoru knew he wasn't going to be able to hold a proper conversation without shouting.

"Why?" You echoed his question. "Well, for starters, we're treated like shit, in both worlds regardless sorcerers or non-sorcerers. Do you remember? The elder I killed, he was truly one who deserved to die. The number of times he ignored protests, warnings and more...killing off our sorcerers one by one, do you really believe someone like him being alive is worth all that struggle? For him, he deserves to die for that alone."

Geto was about to open his mouth after a thought, but you interrupted him. "Also, he was a paedophile so he deserves everything that's come his way. The world needs none of those disgusting pigs."

You couldn't forgive him. You couldn't forgive such a disgusting creature existed. When you found out the information coincidently, you knew you had to do something about it.

The anger in your eyes was juxtaposed by the small smile on your lips, one that was almost proud of what you did.

Satoru couldn't contain himself any longer, "Yeah, he was a fucking piece of shit, but killing him? That's made you one of the sorcerers we've got to kill! You're to be executed on sight! You're a hypocrite, [name]. Are you trying to get all the sorcerers you want to protect to come kill you?"

You watched him as he heaved a breath, his eyes feeling heavy on your form as he tried to convey his distraught to you about the whole situation.

You barked out a laugh, a hand landing on your hip as you stared at him, no trace of the smile on your features anymore.

"Hypocrite?" The question lay on the tip of your tongue, before you let out a low chuckle, feeling your throat go dry. "Perhaps you're right; I am. I am a hypocrite who wants death as much as those geezers who send us out to kill ourselves."

"Oh, and you forgot one detail. I don't care about sorcerers and non-sorcerers at all. They're equally as bad as each other. The only difference is that sorcerers have the power to wield cursed energy and use it to destroy curses made up from the normie's emotions." You gave him a half lie. It was easier to push him away. Push him away so he won't be able to break the armour you've put up.

"And what of him dying? Are the elders going to retire themselves? Or will they KILL us sorcerers first?" Your voice became an octave higher as you emphasised words that made you emotional.

"After I kill them, you can then reform the society as you wish. You could probably kill them yourself, 'toru, but you won't take that step. That's why I'll take that step instead." You give him a crooked smile, "There's nothing here worth living for."

"Nothing worth living for?" Satoru repeated your words, taking off his sunglasses, watching you with his blue eyes, and you could see the monstrous waves of emotion behind them. "Are you fucking blind?"

Suguru glanced over at Gojo, hoping he didn't have to inject himself in between to stop it from escalating further.

"No, I am not fucking blind, Satoru!" A chip from your facade broke off, revealing a mess of emotions in the split second your voice broke. "Do you understand how suffocating it is living in this world? Where all your friends die in front of you, or there's a chance they'll die on their next mission? Where the strongest wins - and in this world, if the curses aren't the strongest, the sorcerers at their highest standing are!"

"You know I--" He began, but you cut him off.

"I know you hate them as much as I do! But I'll do whatever it takes to get rid of them, even if it means forsaking you all to do it." You almost sound like you're pleading by the end, your eyes starting to tear up.

"And after. When they're gone, you can reform the system, and control it in the way that works best for this generation." You force a smile to your lips, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "Someone has to be the bad guy, and I'm willing to play the role, even if I may die in the process."

"[name], this can be done differently--"

"I'm tired, Satoru. I've tried. I've tried, and I'm tired. Why don't you understand that?" You whisper, shaking your head. "Do you know how many times I've tried talking to the higher ups, or anybody for that matter? No, you don't. You've been on missions this whole time, so you don't know. Even Suguru doesn't know the full extent of it. Shoko knows a bit, but she's not one who can do much about it."

Suguru and Satoru were silent for a moment, their eyes on you as your expression gave away everything you wanted to say.

"I won't be there, but it's a sacrifice worth making if you all aren't in danger. I don't care about anything else." Your words were soft, soft enough for them to hear you, soft enough for you to hope to convince yourself it was the right way and you didn't make the wrong choice.

Satoru and Suguru were the strongest duo. But, before they were, they were your best friends, along with Shoko. But now? Were you still able to call them your best friends? Did you even have that privilege anymore?

But, this is the path you took. Even if it meant abandoning those that you held dear, it was all for them. The real truth to your purpose and change of heart was to make a world easier for them, and for you, and for everybody who came after you. You didn't want anyone else to experience what you have, and you were going to do whatever you can to make that a reality.

You didn't give a flying fuck about anything else other than your best friends, if you were being honest. If it meant that you won't be by their side anymore, it was a sacrifice you were willing to make.

"So, I won't stop. This world is absolutely fucked. Why save something that can't be saved no more? I'd rather go down fighting. Morals be damned."

Your eyes glistening with tears unshed, you press your lips into a genuine smile. The last genuine smile before giving them a wave, "I guess this is goodbye. The next time I see you, 'toru, Sugu, we'll be enemies."

You turned on your heel, ready to leave, but you felt the curse energy expand from behind you, like they were readying to attack.

But, you kept walking, and nothing happened.

Satoru's outstretched hand fell back down to his side as he swore a string of curses, the pain on his face evident as he watched your figure disappear in the crowd of people.

Suguru had half a mind to get one of his curses to follow you, but he knew you well enough that the curse would be killed the minute you felt his cursed energy, so he didn't even bother.

His clenched his hand into a fist, a bitter taste in his mouth. He remembered back to when he was in a similar situation to you, but you and the others managed to get him out of it. He felt saved, but now, seeing it happen to the very person who helped him, made him shatter inside.

Why did you help him, when you couldn't even help yourself with your own words? Why didn't you let them help you? Why didn't you let them know you were having a hard time? That this was what you were contemplating?

He would have listened. They would have listened. They always would.

He felt a cold shiver go down his spine as he watched the endless stream of pedestrians, ones he used to call 'monkeys' in his head, but when letting go of that thought, you were at the forefront of his mind. It was you who grabbed his hand, you who brought him back.

It was you.

But he wasn't able to bring you back. He wasn't able to bring back the one who had nowhere else to go. The one who didn't know what to do with their emotions. The one who got lost.

But would he really call you lost when you knew what you wanted to do, where you wanted to go?

Suguru knew you weren't malicious. At least, not originally. The essence of you, he knew, was someone who cared greatly. One who had their heart on their sleeve when talking about anything and everything, especially with them. He didn't worry about you because you were always ok. But, there were things you didn't tell them and they didn't know, because you never let that part see the light of the day.

The only thing that Suguru felt in his chest, was regret. Regret so raw he felt cold and numb.

Satoru muttered another string of curses, turning on his heel, "Let's go, Suguru." His voice was small, and he didn't want to say any more.

He pondered all the possibilities of you. But he couldn't make himself understand you like you understood him. Which is what made it even more painful.

"I'm not as strong as you." Were words you once said to Satoru.

A forgotten conversation, one you started when he had come into your room even though the light was off, finding comfort in your presence. He wanted to sleep in the same bed or at least the same room, but you were still awake, sitting up in your bed and watching the stars and sky from your window.

Satoru didn't say anything as he climbed into your double bed, comfort filling his whole being from your calming scent alone. He wouldn't admit it, but it was one of his favourite places to be when he had turmoil in his mind.

"Yeah, you're weak." He mumbled, his face squished against the pillow as he faced you.

He could see the illuminated outline of your features from the moon, finding them captivating as he watched you with half-lidded eyes.

No, you're strong, were the real words he wanted to say. But, he had always called you weak, so he was going to continue. What harm was there?

You turn your head slightly, gazing at him with a soft smile. It was like you knew what he wanted to say, but didn't hold anything against him for saying the opposite of what he truly felt.

"You're right," You whispered. "I'm weak."

You went to close the curtains, slipping back into bed with Satoru as you closed your eyes, ignoring the gaze on you as you drifted off to sleep.

Satoru had a feeling those words were in reference to something else, but he had no idea what. He felt an invisible wall between you and him from the interaction just now, one that shouldn't be there lest he had his infinity on. But he never did unless in certain situations.

"You're plenty strong, [name]." He whispered this, bringing his finger to tap your forehead, before he also went to sleep.

You weren't asleep yet, so you heard his comment. It warmed your heart, the freezing depths of it wanting to thaw. It made you want to spill the inner turmoils of your mind, but you were scared it would taint the bright sun that is Satoru.

Satoru's a lot sweeter than he lets on, you let a small smile grace your lips as you face him to sleep.

Thinking back to that conversation, Satoru leaned back in the chair of your room, wondering where it all went wrong.

Were you trying to reach out to him back then? Or were you asking him for some form of confirmation? Were you trying to let him know you were not alright? What did you want?

He wasn't as good at reading emotions like Suguru was, but he knew something was wrong when something was wrong. He just didn't know how to approach it.

He wondered, if he had indulged you that time, would you have let him in?

"You had another fight with the elders, huh." Suguru stated, seeing your current state. He sat where the vending machines were, having just taken a seat after taking a shower. The can of green tea he had in his hands was opened and given to you, "Drink up."

You held an angry expression prior to this, but being with Suguru made you calm down. You took the green tea and took a small sip, savouring the bitter flavour. It was refreshing.

You handed it back to Suguru, "Thank you." He took it back and took a large gulp, feeling it cool down his body.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" Suguru prodded. He knew something was up. Normally you'd be more like Satoru when you came out pissed from the elders meetings. But this time, you were quiet, more like you were seething, like a volcano about to erupt.

You stared at the ground, wondering what you should start with. You felt that all the words exchanged between you and the elders wasn't listened to, wasn't taken into account. It was like talking to a massive brick wall, one that you had no way to get through to.

"I..." You started, but your throat clammed up. You stopped, waiting for the words to come naturally. When your throat finally decided it was ready to talk, your voice was a whisper. "If the elders disappeared, would this all end?"

Suguru's gaze landed on you, knowing full well what you were thinking. He gave you the green tea again. You took it, and another sip.

"If the elders disappeared, others would take their place."

Suguru could feel something was wrong. The atmosphere was different with you, just like how it was different for him a year ago after the star plasma vessel mission. He could sense it in his very being, something was wrong.

"If the others took their place, would they act the same as the ones now?" You chuckled to yourself, but your voice dropped an octave, "Jujutsu society is trash."

There was a slight panic that welled up inside Suguru, reminding himself of the emotions he himself went through not too long ago.

He could see himself in you, and he hated it. Not the one who had helped to bring him out of it, the one who reached out their hand to bring him back to the light. Not you.

"[name]. You don't hate all sorcerers, do you?" His voice was calm, probing for information for your current state of mind.

Back then, he was on the verge of deciding whether to continue as someone who protected the weak, or someone who didn't care for the weak. And now, you were going through something similar. He wanted to bring you back to him, to the one you saved.

After a moment, you shook your head. "I don't. I just...hate how the elders are sending out young sorcerers to their deaths. I hate how there are young Jujutsu sorcerers being taken away from their families so they can train to be another one of us disposables. I hate how no matter what, the top dogs in this world are absolute trash, who need to be burned at the stake. And don't get me started on curses. They're the worst. I hate them. I hate them so much for taking away so much from everyone. From sorcerers, from non-sorcerers..."

A pregnant pause.

"I hate this world that has curses." Your voice cracked at the end of it as you leaned down, head in your hands as you stared at the ground, a broken whisper of self-awareness, "I hate how I've begun thinking this way."

Suguru didn't know when he had held his breath. Your confession was so raw. You had every right to be angry and frustrated at the system which Jujutsu was. He had also held the same thoughts.

"Sugu..." There was a heartbreaking whine to your voice, one that sounded as if you were on the verge of crying. "I hate this."

An embrace, so gentle, so tender, so soft, enveloped you as his larger body wrapped around yours. You could smell the soap he used as he pushed your face into the crook of his neck, his larger hand stroking your hair as you finally let the tears fall, a broken sob reverberating through your body as you held onto him like he was your lifeline.

"[name], I'm here." He soothes, head gently resting against yours. He closed his eyes, pulling you in closer when he felt you trembling. This was the exact same thing you did for him before, one that soothed him and his tumultuous heart.

The only difference is, you were smaller than before, too. Were you eating properly? You were skinnier. Did you get enough sleep? There were bags under your eyes. Did you take a break? He didn't see the last time you took a break.

You pulled away after a while, eyes puffy and face covered with snot. Suguru didn't even flinch as he grabbed the towel sitting next to him, wiping off any excess liquid from your face. It was gentle, and it reminded you he was the most gentle out of the three, and he'd been in a similar position to you at this moment in time. When you looked up to meet his eyes, you decided, you didn't want to burden him with your thoughts of hate - one time was enough.

"I'll always be here if you need me. You can come to me anytime." His hand went to your cheek and his thumb wiped at the area of your cheekbone. Just like his tender hugs, this was so, so soft that it made you want to cry again, making you nearly regret the decision in your heart.

You could only lean into his hand and give him a nod, eyes closing as you felt fatigue come down on your body, making it feel heavy. You didn't even know you fell asleep so fast that Suguru had to catch you, hauling you up so he could carry you back to your room.

This was the only time you revealed your true thoughts to Suguru, and the only time he has ever seen you this way.

Maybe this was the start of it? Suguru's thoughts when he woke up were clear in his mind. The dream he had was something that really happened, and it hurt him he wasn't able to help you during your hardest moments like you did for him.

He had slept in your bed for the night, finding that he missed you and the comfort you brought him. Your scent was calming to him, and it will forever be a saviour to his soul.

A week before killing the elder, Shoko had found you passed out in the infirmary, half of your body on a chair, and half of it off and on the ground.

She raised a brow at your position, wondering if you were tired and just fell asleep. On closer inspection, she could see the dark circles under your eyes, the thinning of your cheeks, and realised you've lost a lot of weight. The bottle on the chair were a bunch of sleeping pills, open and spilled, indicating you had taken some just prior.

If she wasn't worried about you before, she was definitely worried now.

And when you woke up, you were just like normal, which made Shoko question whether you were just overworked. She did know you fought a lot with the elders and were sent on difficult missions because they were out to get you. So with this information in mind, she was sure you were in need of a proper break, away from everything and everyone.

Which was why she advocated for you to get a break, away from Tokyo, to an island resort with lots of sunshine. A proper 4 day break. Of course, she got Satoru to pay for it since he was loaded and actually owed [name] for a previous thing.

But, the aftermath that came from that was the death of the elder 3 days after coming back.

Did that moment of clarity cause everything to happen? When you were on break, was that when everything went out of control? Was that when you decided this was the path you wanted to take?

You had looked completely back to normal after coming back that the worry Shoko and the boys held for you was almost like a false alarm - but they didn't realise that that in itself was the real alarm.

You were happy - or at least, you were smiling like you did before. It was wonderful to see you back to your regular self, something everyone mutually agreed on by the other sorcerers.

Until you murdered the elder, that is.

That was your first step into the world of depravity, away from the world of Jujutsu, and closer to the world called Hell.

[name]'s heart was soft. It was originally that way, and as you traversed through life, fell and got back up, your heart became stronger. However, it was just an outer layer, like a piece of armour for your fragile heart. You would pretend things were fine until it wasn't, even if you wore your heart on your sleeve, letting the people around you know what you thought, even if they thought you were joking.

It was almost too sudden when you realised all the armour around your soft heart had shattered to pieces.

It was like you lost a part of you that day, and you didn't know what could fix you. You didn't know if you could be fixed. So, you did the only thing you could do.

Pick up the pieces and do your best to put it back together, create a wall for your heart before it gets pierced again.

But before you were able to, a gunshot would shatter your glued armour, shattering in your hands, and your heart was laid bare, bleeding out without any way to stop.

And you wished and wished, for someone to reach out their hands to you and drag you out of your ocean of misery. But, nobody could reach deep enough, and you couldn't reach because you had no strength left to.

You couldn't reach out anymore. No matter how much you wanted, the same fate would await you, and you'd fall into such despair again.

You were tired. You were so, so, so tired.

The ones who made you like this, were ironically the ones who could take you out.

"____." You give them one last smile, a genuine one, as you feel the tears coming down your face, bringing your blade to your neck, before slicing and ending your own life.

You didn't want to die at the hands of your best friends. Not because they're your best friends, but because they would bear the burden of having killed you, and you didn't think they'd be able to take that, especially at the ripe age of 19. So, you'd rather do it for them, making it easier. After all, it would've been close to impossible going up against two of the strongest sorcerers.

You could only hear screams at you from the distance as the pain numbed your mind and body. Geto & Gojo were both screaming your name as they sprinted to you, their panicked shouts becoming background noise as they held onto your body, lifting you up to bring you to Shoko.

Your eyes could only see the terrified blue eyes from Satoru as he carried you on Geto's curse. He seemed to be wanting the curse to go faster, but Geto could only reply in an equally as panicked tone, saying this was his fastest one and that they're going as fast as they could to Shoko.

Your eyes are too beautiful to be panicking, you wanted to say. But, you couldn't. Blood had gotten into your oesophagus, making you struggle to breathe as you coughed and suffocated on your own blood.

"[NAME]! ARE YOU WITH ME?! STAY AWAKE!" Satoru's frantic shouts were barely ringing in your ears, but the creases on his face shouldn't have been there. They were going to give him wrinkles.

With one of the last ounces of your strength, you lifted your hand up to cup his cheek, then gently smooth the line between his brows, giving a weak smile.

Satoru let out a choked sound similar to a sob, understanding exactly what you were doing and what you wanted to say. He held your wrist, supporting you in whatever way he can as he could feel your body heat leaving you. Suguru placed a hand on your cheek, stroking the area under the eye, just like he always did.

It made you feel nostalgic, but you could barely see his expression, since tears had blurred your vision. You wanted to reach for Suguru before you had no more strength, so you gently moved your raised arm in that direction. Satoru, knowing exactly what you were doing, guided your hand to Suguru, who took your hand gently, holding it preciously between his two hands.

"Let's get you home, [name]." Were the last words Geto said to you. By 'home', he meant with them, back to Jujutsu, so they could forget everything that happened and start over. It would just be like those happy days, back when there was nothing to worry about.

In your state, you couldn't make out everything he was saying, but you knew they were kind words by his intonation and the caress he held for your bloodied hand.

You only gave them a smile, one that was apologetic, as you felt your consciousness fading away. The tears that blurred your vision finally fell, and the slight squeeze of your hand in Geto's made him realise that was it.

For you, it was time to sleep. It was a time for you to finally rest your tired mind and body, away from this world, and away from all those that you loved.

Suguru looked over at Satoru, who was biting his lip almost bruisingly as they trembled. With his sunglasses off, he could see everything in detail, including the way your cursed energy stopped, from when your body heat disappeared, and he couldn't feel you anymore. You were a hollow shell of a body now, and the last thing you left them was an apologetic smile on your face.

Away from the battleground, Shoko looked out the window, a pang of sadness hitting her all at once when she realised the screams belonging to Geto & Gojo resonated through the forest. She could barely just hear them, but she knew, the dread that filled her veins was apparent. She knew.

She closed her eyes, taking out the cigarette between her lips as she exstinguished it, her arm covering her eyes as she leaned back in her seat, silent tears falling down her cheeks.

"Quite sad, really. None of you realised [name] suffered this much." Kenjaku sowed the top of your head back together after revealing some information you kept hidden to Suguru & Satoru, and about your last moments and thoughts.

Seeing the despair and shock on their faces was intoxicating, especially when it came to the body he borrowed. Kenjaku knew the amount of love that had been given to the original owner of his current body, and using that, he could disarm even the strongest of sorcerers in the modern day.

It was a pity you were dead, but if you were alive and not dead, Kenjaku wouldn't have been able to take over your body now, would he?

It was especially sweet because the body hadn't even been cremated and still looked the same as it did 10 years ago. And those two who had been responsible for it were standing in front of him, in Shibuya station during Halloween.

Even better because you had died in their arms, so seeing you alive as Kenjaku was more of a sick joke than anything, but he loved that expression on the ones who had essentially allowed you to be this way.

"If only the people around them were able to reach out a hand before their descent into madness, none of this would have happened." Kenjaku ran a hand through your hair.

Satoru let out a low growl from his throat as he watched whoever was in your body use it, control it, and pretend to be you. No one could be you. You were gone. You were gone 10 years ago. And he knew - he knew you were not in front of him.

You died in his arms.

So there was absolutely no way that could be you. Absolutely not!

But, his six eyes said otherwise. It was you. Everything was you. It was the same you who died in his arms 10 years ago, the same you who gave him one last smile before leaving the earth.

It tore him to pieces inside.

Suguru put out an arm in front of Satoru, eyeing the cursed user in your body. He was pretending to be calm, but the way his hands and jaw clenched at the blatant disrepect Kenjaku had for your body was digusting. How dare he exhume your grave and take your body from it?

He felt a cold, almost murderous feeling bubble up inside him as he readied himself for combat.

That was not you. And it couldn't be, even if Satoru's six eyes recognised you to be alive. You weren't alive. You had been lost long ago, and whoever was in front of them was an imposter.

"[name]! How long are you going to let this little bitch take over your body?" Satoru finally burst, pissed at the prospect of someone disrespecting you.

Your hand, reacting almost instantaneously, went straight for the top of the head, right where Kenjaku's brain was. It stabbed straight through the cranium, a crunch eliciting a scream from Kenjaku himself as the brain was stabbed, wounding his real body. Kenjaku used your other arm to stop your attack on his weak point, feeling the blood pour out.

For a moment, it was silent except the light splatter and pitter patter of blood from your body. Suguru and Satoru stared at what happened in front of them, shocked that what Gojo said had ellicited such a response.

Kenjaku pulled your assaulting hand away, holding it in a death grip with the one he could control. The blood dripped down his face as he used his reverse cursed technique to heal the head wound, cracking the sides of his neck after he healed your head and his brain.

"Wow, I can't believe [name] went straight for the kill." Kenjaku laughed to himself. "But that's all there is to it. The soul and body are one, aren't they? Don't think this will happen again." He chuckled and waited for the hand to calm itself.

"Oh, and did you know [name] wrote a letter to each of you? Including Shoko. They knew they'd die so they hid it away in the school. I think they hid it somewhere important for each of you. Even they don't quite remember." Kenjaku couldn't quite recall what the contents of the letters were as the memory itself was fuzzy. He wanted to see it as their strong friendship strained due to his taking over of [name]'s body.

He wondered why this specific memory was blurred out, and he couldn't recall anything from your memories about this specific thing?

It was like you were deliberately making sure you didn't remember it, and deleted the memory from your head so no one could find the letters.

A letter? The strongest duo's eyes narrowed at the imposter in their dead best friend's body, wondering if it's a part of their tricks. But it was also hard to not believe them, since they look like you. And everything about you, they would believe.

Because you were the type of person who would write letters to them.

"I don't know what they say, but they've been there since before [name] died." Kenjaku tapped his temple, "If you can get out of here, I implore you to find them."

That pissed the two off. Kenjaku was implying they wouldn't get out of this alive, or at least, to see the letters that were supposedly left for them. It pissed them off to no end, and they prepared to battle, not wanting to take part of his nonsense any longer.

Dear Satoru,

I'm glad to have met you. I love you. I love Suguru. I love Shoko. I love everyone. We had so many fun times, and it was the best time of my life. Everything was so bright, cheery and brought me so much happiness, I can't even tell you the extent of it.

I hope you don't mind this letter. If you've found it after I've defected or after I'm dead, I can't express with words how much doing this pains me. If I can't use my words, I have to use my actions, right? I hope you don't forgive me for what I've done. It's unacceptable and you have every right to hate me. I've killed innocent people for the purpose of my goal. Horrible, right? I really hope you won't forgive me.

But I know you. You will. You're just that kind of person.

I'll miss your bright blue eyes and white hair. I'll miss your loud and boisturous personality. I'll miss how your heart races every time I hug you. I'll miss you nuzzling into my head when we hug. I'll miss the soft 'sweet dreams' you say every time you carry me to bed after I fall asleep studying. I'll miss when you take photos of me everyday. I'll miss your annoyingness. I'll miss your teasing words every day. I'll miss your blushing cheeks when you're embarrassed. I'll miss your comical, over the top reactions. I'll miss you eating a whole bunch of sweets in one setting. I'll miss the crepe shop we'd often go to. I'll miss how you make me feel safe. I'll miss your voice. I'll miss you.

If reincarnation exists, I want to meet you again. I want to see your smile again. I want to call you 'toru again. I want to give you the biggest hug, and feel the thrum of your heart racing. Then, I'll give you a kiss on your head, just like you always do to me before I sleep.

You're strong, 'toru. Make sure to stay safe and be careful. I don't want to meet you on the other side so soon. Grow up to be even stronger, and reform Jujutsu's society. I know you can do it!

By the way, I left your favourite recipe of the sweets you liked that I made. That way, you can enjoy them anytime.

Love, [name].

P.S. Don't eat so many sweet things at once!!! I don't want you getting cavities!!!

Dear Suguru,

You were the first one to notice anything going on, and for that, I'm grateful. I'm sorry I brushed you off so coldly. I didn't know how to ask for help. I wish I'd have listened to your heartfelt words to rely on you a little more.

If you see this, I've probably already defected or I'm dead. But I just want you to know, I love you. I want to see you again. I miss you. I want to hug you and let you know everything I'm thinking. I want you to give me one of your strong hugs, knocking the air out of me. I also equally want your soft, tender hugs, as you whisper comforting words to me. I want to hear your voice again. I want to run my fingers through your hair again and question why you only use soap on it. I want to cook with you again. Have late night discussions. Cuddle. Piggyback rides. Kisses on the cheek. Allowing me to latch onto you like a koala when I'm cold since you run hot. I miss our times together. I miss you.

If reincarnation is real, we will definitely meet again. I want to see you smile from the bottom of your heart, and enjoy the most delicious food! And, if no curses are in that world, then you'll finally have a food you don't like - I'll be willing to lend an ear so you can whisper it to me! I want to cup your cheeks and tell you you've done well, for enduring during tough times and standing right back up. I want to finally give you a piggyback ride, since I was never able to fulfil that wish here. I want to be able to call you Sugu again.

Stay strong, Sugu. Make sure to stay safe. Since I know you hate the taste of curses, I've left the key to my safe with candies that are really good at cleansing the palette. Don't ever let these get into 'toru's hands or else you'll never see them again. I got these custom made just for you, and I've left a note with instructions on where to get it and what special order it was. I was supposed to give it to you sooner, but I left before then. Hope you enjoy them!

Love, [name].

P.S. Please take care of yourself!!! And don't use soap on your hair!!! Use proper shampoo and conditioner since your hair's so pretty!!!

Dear Shoko,

I'm sorry you probably had to see my dead body.

If I had spilled my heart out to you about my troubles, I wonder if it would've helped? I kept things bottled up for too long and it's become like this. I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep our promise. We didn't get to go to Disneyland like we promised all those months ago - the tickets are just sitting somewhere rotting away. I really wanted to go with you, Sugu and 'toru. It would've been great fun, and we would've made so many memories.

I miss your voice, Shoko. I miss your laugh. Your insults. Your frankness. Your weirdness. Your chillness. You. Heck, I even miss your scent of smoke. I miss you so much. I want to see you.

Can I meet you again? In a world without curses, where we don't need to risk our lives and watch our loved ones die. If I ever get reincarnated, can you find me? Or I can find you? I want to enjoy our times together again, feel the breeze against our skin, sing joyfully, joke around, play around, and take many photos together. That's the only way I want to spend it - and I want it so much you don't even know. In that kind of world, we can finally be happier. We can finally smile geniunely. I'll be able to finally see you again.

I bought some smokes for you and it's in my safe. Suguru has the key. Take some of the candies too, they might help in cleansing your palette every now and then.

I love you.

Love, [name].

P.S. Too much smoking isn't good for you!!! Please quit or at least do it a little less!!! I worry for your lung health...

Trembling hands read their letters as they were found around Jujutsu High school. It had your cursed energy as a seal, but the minute it was touched by any of the three, the seal would break. The letter itself was blank, with a couple of pages for each of them. The words appeared once they injected their cursed energy into it.

Words written by you appeared on the page, covering all the pages given for each letter. As the trio read the letters you had kept hidden from them, they couldn't help but let their unshed tears fall.

They were all known as strong sorcerers who don't cry. But, you brought them to their knees with your sincerity, and you were lost too soon. It was the last thing they had from you, and the warmth in every word of those letters struck a chord deep in their hearts, remembering 10 years ago and the day you had died.

"I kept [name]'s room clean," Suguru started, his eyes glossy. He had already cried, but every time he wanted to read the words off the letter, he was ready to cry again. He didn't want to. "Everything's the same."

It was as if they went down memory lane. Nothing had changed in your room. It was just as Geto said, it was exactly the same.

Whenever Geto had some time, he would clean your room, just like how he knew you would like it. It was something he sometimes did if he stayed over to help you study or just to hang out. So, he knew where everything was.

Immediately going to the safe, he put in a random number, guessing your birthday, then he used the key entrusted to him and unlocked it.

"What a bad password..." Geto couldn't help but laugh lightly, but his laughter died in his throat when he opened the safe.

The first thing the three of them saw was a couple of picture frames, each of them with pictures of the four of them that they remember taking when they were younger. The photos where all of them were happy, grinning and had no care in the world, it made their throats dry, clamming up uncomfortably.

Geto picked up the picture frames, taking a closer look at them with Shoko.

"Oh, look, there's more." Gojo peered in, seeing the promised recipe, bag of lollies, Disneyland tickets and smokes from each of their letters. He took them out and handed them what was gifted.

As they examined the items, Gojo read the recipe, a page written neatly by you. It was as if he could imagine you sitting in your room, writing it just for him while you tasted the different variations that you recommended in the recipe.

Geto put the photos face down, falling flat on his back on your bed as his arm covered his eyes.

Shoko stared at him for a moment, deciding to join him by doing the same thing. Your bed was only a double bed (you had requested a bigger bed for your first paycheck) and didn't have that much space for the three of them, much less four.

Seeing the two of them do the exact same thing, Satoru joined them, but instead, he sat up against your headboard, laying his legs in a cross legged position.

He fipped the picture frames back up, a bittersweet smile on his lips as he basked in the silence and warmth of your room he was so familiar with.

He closed his eyes, and like the others, thought of you.

Would it have been different had you told them everything you were feeling? If you talked through exactly what was causing you grief, and what could be done about it? Were they not enough to help you back up? Would you have felt so suffocated that you chose to die? Would you have still died in their arms? Would Kenjaku have still taken over your body? Still left them behind?

They say sorcerers don't die without regrets.

And they knew if they died, their one and only regret would be you.

At a certain crepe shop, Gojo Satoru waited for his crepe, one he decorated with strawberries, whipped cream and a drizzle of chocolate. It was one he used to frequent with his old friend, and he'd come here every week with them to buy a crepe. It wasn't the order he normally went with, but today, he felt nostalgic.

It had been so long since the last time he had visited the crepe shop with you, but it remained fresh in his mind even after reincarnating many times over. What timeline was he in now? He counted 7. That was 7 lifetimes without you. Suguru & Shoko were also counting, and they did whatever they could to find out where you would be. But, each and every one after their first, you were nowhere to be found.

Suguru & Shoko would sometimes come to the crepe shop, but they were also busy making a living in a world without curses. The tragedy from their first life remained fresh in their current ones, holding them so strongly they didn't want to give up.

But unknown to them, you were right under their nose all along, and you frequently went to that same crepe shop at times just before or after they were there, a mysterious force pushing you to the place.

It was at one time, where Satoru thought he saw you, that it reignited the flame that had been dormant for so long, to finally see you, after so many timelines and lifetimes apart.

Your voice, followed by your laughter, and your hand. He had you memorised, and he was so thankful for his good memory that recognised you. It was the closest he got, and when he heard you, saw a part of you, he was sprinting, but you had already disappeared onto the train, and the last thing he saw was the back of your head.

It was brief, but it was enough for his mind to go overdrive and let the others know his findings, that it was possible for them to find you this lifetime, and the crepe shop was the biggest key to it all.

And, when they cracked the code and finally found you, all the memories, feelings and thoughts from their original life came back to them, allowing them to finally see you in a world without curses, even if they had to wait 7 lifetimes.

If they had to put it into years, those 7 lifetimes were equivalent to over 600 years of not seeing you.

But, this lifetime, they finally found you.

Over 600 years in the making, and you also found them.

A/N: I CRIED WRITING THIS. It hurt me 😭 here's part 2!

There's also somewhat of a prequel as well from Geto's POV if you were interested!

Here's also an AU in an alternate timeline with information that takes place directly after the original timing here.

If y'all want some fluff here's the masterlist for the rest of the series 🕊️

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Calls, Candy & Cotton Ponies - E.M

Eddie Munson x Original Female Character

Summary: Eddie is stressed about the fact that Karmen cancelled their last date. He hasn't heard from her in a few days which isn't usual and he is starting to wonder what he has done wrong.

Tags: Fluff, Love, Joking, Banter, Angst, Spicy references, inner healing/healing, Implied past domestic violence/bad partners, references to periods & menstuation.

Words: 5.2k

A/N: This story sits between Knights & Princesses' and With Good Reason. More notes at the end.

~~

Three days.

It had been three whole days since Eddie had heard from Karmen and he was selfishly starting to wonder if she’d forgotten he existed.

They’d only been seeing each other for around two months but it had been a steady routine of phone calls, dates and sleepovers at least every three days since they met. They always had something planned by the time they were leaving one another again and Eddie hadn’t had to worry up until this point that she would forget him.

But she had canceled their last date.

When she’d left his trailer on Thursday morning they had made plans for Saturday afternoon. Eddie played Hellfire with the gang on Friday nights so they had agreed he would pick her up on Saturday afternoon and take her to the lake where they would have a picnic in the back of the van. But she had called late on Friday night. After she knew he would be home from Hellfire and canceled their weekend plans. 

She’d said something had come up but hadn’t elaborated any further. He’d accepted it despite the nagging feeling in his gut that something wasn’t right. He tried to convince himself that she had just been inundated with work or one of her friends had asked her to babysit and she didn’t want to admit that she was canceling on him because helping someone else in her life was a bigger priority than their budding relationship.

But that was three days ago.

It was now Monday afternoon and he hadn’t heard from her at all. He had woken up wondering if he should call her but by the time he’d decided that he should, she would have already left for work and he needed to go to school.

He had gone to school and he hadn’t learnt a thing. Instead he’d spent the day wondering if maybe he should call her at work and ask for a spontaneous lunch date.

He’d hovered by the payphone in the parking lot instead of sitting with the Hellfire guys at lunch. He���d waited for it to be free and then walked towards it with purpose. Not hearing the Jocks coming up behind him through the ringing in his ears and nearly allowing himself to be toppled by the shoulder charge of one of the younger guys as they pushed ahead of him and took the phone booth for themselves, if only so he couldn’t have it.

He’d grumbled aloud about how they should have learned about taking turns and waiting in line in Kindergarten. But internally, he was grateful that the choice had been taken away.

He’d eaten his shitty pb&j in the driver’s seat of the van. Wishing instead that he was enjoying lunch at their favorite cafe with good company and not listening to the radio that never played anything he enjoyed.

Now he was home again. Despite the urge to turn off the country road that lead to the trailer park and head towards the industrial estate. He had kept on driving until he’d pulled up at his own place. 

Leaving Karmen in peace at work and pacing around his room for several hours until it was around the time she got home and he walked into the kitchen to glare at the phone above the dining table.

Eyes flicking to the clock near it and nodding to himself at the time.

Yeah she would definitely be home by now.

Unless she was busy…

With someone else…

He lunged towards the phone. Picking it up and dialing her number from muscle memory before he could think about it any further and stop himself from doing it.

He screwed his eyes shut at the sound of the line ringing. Gritting his teeth together in a grimace and barely holding in a long groan as he waited what felt like a century for her to pick up.

In reality it was about four rings. Which to be honest was probably faster than usual. She must have been sitting by the phone…

Was she waiting for him to call her?

“Hello?” She asked, sounding chipper. Eddie opened his mouth to reply, faltering at the casual tone.

What had he been expecting? 

Her to be beside herself with emotion because she hadn't heard from him in days? A croaky voice signaling that she was sick?

He didn’t know. Either way he had to reply and suddenly his voice wasn’t ready for it.

“H-hey.” He choked, voice breaking and making him huff quietly in exasperation. “It’s Uh… It’s Eddie.” He added, clearing his throat as she chuckled in response.

“Hey Eddie.” She said, using his name specifically. She’d already known it was him before she picked up. No one else ever called her immediately after she got home from work. “I’d recognize your voice anywhere.” She sing-songed. 

A flush rose on his cheeks at the way she spoke. Like she actually wanted to be talking to him.

Again, he was unsure why he was surprised. 

Or why it turned him on.

He cleared his throat again, coughing into a fist before speaking.

“Really?” He asked dumbly, making her chuckle for a second time.

“Yeah. Of course.” She laughed. He could hear the smile on her face. But through it, he could also hear the tiredness. Not at him or his call but life in general.

Maybe she was just swamped with work…

“Okay.” He said simply, rolling his eyes and shaking his head at his own words and deciding to push on and get it over with before he made an even bigger fool of himself.  “So uh… What are you up to?”

“Just got home. Lazing around now.” She answered flippantly. “You?”

“Nothing.” He replied. The silence after his word stretched a little longer than he would have liked before he heard her hum in acknowledgement, prompting him to keep talking.

“I… I haven’t heard from you in a few days…” He said as a statement but they both knew without it needing to be said that it was a question.

A needy one.

“Yeah, sorry.” She replied, something rustling against the receiver as she shifted her position. “I’ve…” She paused. “Not been… Feeling great.”

“Oh.” Eddie said softly, a frown on his features. “That’s not good.” He added, swallowing against the myriad of questions that rose to the surface at the admission. Something still didn’t sit right with him about the way she’d said it. But he decided to ignore it for now and push onward. “You should have let me know I could have come over and tried to help you feel better.” He said as casually as he could manage.

“That’s sweet.” She cooed, the smile on her face still apparent through the way she spoke.

“I could still try.” He said quickly before he could talk himself out of it. Cringing at the way the words had come out as she laughed in response.

“Are you asking for permission to turn up on my doorstep?” She queried. The flush on his cheeks deepened but this time from shame.

“Maybe.” She murmured against the receiver. Feeling sick to his stomach at how quickly she caught on to his meaning and the fact that she refused to pretend like she didn’t.

“I mean yeah, sure, you can come over if you want to.” She said after a moment of thought. 

The smile faltered. 

Eddie furrowed his brows at that. Lips a thin line as his heart dropped in his gut. 

Maybe she wasn’t the only one that could read him. He could see her expression clearly despite being across town.

“Do you want me to?” He asked despite everything screaming at him to leave it alone and just take the invitation. Feign obliviousness and turn up at her doorstep so she could break up with him in person and he could pretend to be shocked.

“...Yeah, I do.” She replied, not nearly as quick as he could have liked.

It didn’t sound like she did.

“Are you sure?” He asked, a self-deprecating chuckle flying through his lips before he could stop it. “Because I can just stay home, it’s fine.” He said hastily. “You can call me when– if, um, you want to see me again. It’s fine–”

“No! I do!” Karmen exclaimed quickly, realizing suddenly how she must have sounded and regretting the fact that she had obviously activated this poor man’s fight or flight with her own flakiness. “I really do want you to come over.” She assured him, hearing a sigh of relief from him on the other line and nodding to herself knowingly. “I’m just really not feeling well so…” She paused again, trying to figure out how to say it. “I’m not like… I’m not up to doing anything.” She said after a moment. “If you catch my meaning.”

Eddie thought for a moment, letting her words mull over in his head before a lightbulb flicked on and realized she was talking about sex.

“Oh!” He exclaimed, nodding even though she couldn’t see. “Yeah, I understand.” He said earnestly.

“Okay, I just want to make sure you know that before you get here.” Karmen said again, searching for the reassurance that he actually understood.

“Yeah, of course.” Eddie answered, shaking his head in confusion. “We don’t have to do anything…” He paused. “Strenuous.” He decided, making her giggle. “We can just hang out. Maybe watch a movie or something if you want?”

He heard the shuffle of her moving down the line and knew she was nodding against the receiver.

“Sure. That sounds nice.” 

~~

Eddie had stopped at Family Video on the way to Karmen’s place. Picking out a few movies he wasn’t really interested in but they seemed like her type of thing and he’d watch just about anything to make her happy. 

He’d also stocked up on candy after buying gas at the station near her place.

He had about $10 left for the fortnight and he had earmarked it for a pizza dinner if Karmen didn’t have anything planned.

He figured she wouldn’t be up to cooking. Not that he expected her to at all. But she didn’t mind making them dinner most of the time and he really enjoyed being fed a home cooked meal.

He had promised her that they wouldn’t do anything strenuous and that included making her stand in the kitchen to cook a meal for both of them.

But he had dropped this date on her spur of the moment and he couldn’t discount the fact that she may have already taken it upon herself to do so. Which is why he hadn’t chosen to pick pizza up on the way over. Instead he would offer it when he got there and go back out to get it.

As with earlier when he’d called he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when he arrived. Maybe her lying in bed with a cold pack on her head, surrounded by tissues. Nose red raw, eyes bleary and barely able to stay open.

But as he had let himself inside with the spare key she’d hidden for him he had been surprised to find her on the couch. Looking perfectly healthy or rather maybe only a little pale. She was scribbling in a notepad that he knew to contain the latest draft of the book she had been writing since before they’d met. 

She hadn’t let him read it yet. Claiming it was too fresh and he’d be damned if curiosity didn’t get the best of him at times but thus far he had respected her privacy and not flipped through the pages of the fluffy pink notebook she so carelessly left about the house.

“Hi.” He greeted her as he closed the door behind himself. She was leaning over to place the book and pen on the coffee table, nodding in greeting as he made his way around the couch and plonked himself down in front of her.

She was leaning against the arm with her legs stretched out under a throw blanket but she pulled them up and crossed them under her as he sat. Sitting up straighter, no longer using the chair to support herself as she eyed the plastic bags he placed on the coffee table with a small thud.

“Hi.” She said back, looking between him and his cargo. “What’s all this?” She asked as Eddie smiled at her guilty.

“Well, I got us some movies.” He began, reaching forward to pull his selection of VHS tapes from the crinkled plastic and holding them up one by one for her to see as she ooed and ahhed at his picks.

“Amazing.” She said simply as he placed them back down and reached for the second bag.

“Andddd…” He dragged the word out as he tried to pull his surprises into view. A chunky ring getting caught on the plastic and making him huff as he shook his hand dramatically and she giggled at his antics. “Some candy.” He breathed finally as he managed to free them. Placing a selection of family sized bags of chocolate and lollies into her lap. The gas station bag was still hanging comically from his ring as he pulled his hands away and batted at it like a cat with his free paw. 

Knowing it would make her laugh and feeling a sense of pride in his chest as she did so heartily, a grin on her face as she raised her brows at the pile of candy atop her blanket.

“You didn’t have to do all this.” She marveled. Looking it over with wonder, voice a little croaker than it had been earlier but he chalked it up to her being unwell.

She might have said that she didn’t want to do anything strenuous and used that as a catalyst for not inviting him earlier but she probably also hadn’t wanted to risk him catching whatever ailed her.

He understood. But he personally despised being alone when he was sick. So he was more than happy to keep her company. He didn’t really care about getting sick himself. He could use a few days off school to try and catch up on his assignments.

“I wanted to help you feel better.” He said simply, tilting his head in confusion as she looked up at him with watery eyes.

She blinked a few times, at the look on his face. Realizing he could see the emotion on her face and forcing it away. She shook her head, waving her hand in front of her face and laughing at nothing except her own stupidity as she tried so desperately to pretend she was fine.

“Sorry.” She apologized as he inched closer to her. His heart in his throat as he wondered if he had overstepped a boundary or something. 

Was he supposed to just come over and ignore the fact she didn’t feel well? 

Was it… wrong… To bring someone candy when they were sick?

“I-I didn’t m-mean…” He stammered, shrugging uncomfortably for lack of anything else to do as she reached for him and placed a calming hand on his arm.

“No! No! This is so sweet!” She assured him, the tears in her eyes gone completely now as she leaned forward and rubbed her palm up and down his bicep. “So sweet!” She reassured. “Thank you, it’s just…” She swallowed thickly. “I didn’t think you’d even want to come over and then you did all this.” She explained weakly.

“Oh I don’t care about getting sick.” He said bluntly. “Don’t worry ‘bout that. I always want to see you, of course I still wanted to come over.” He laughed, face falling as she frowned at the statement. Looking away briefly and chewing on her bottom lip as she thought.

Eddie sucked in a sharp breath. The reality of what he’d said and how clingy it sounded hitting him hard like a sucker punch in the gut as he watched a flush rise on her cheeks.

Jesus Christ could he be any more needy?

That was so embarrassing. Now she was embarrassed for him. Why did he had to wear his heart on his sleeve all the damn time–

“I don’t think you have to worry about catching this one.” Karmen interrupted his thoughts with a self-deprecating chuckle. A hollow sound that didn’t light up her eyes like her laugh normally did.

Eddie cocked his head at that. Brows shooting up to hide under his bangs as he waited for an explanation.

Was it the Chicken Pox? He’d already had them as a kid but she had somehow managed to avoid it.

But exposure to chicken pox even after he’d already had it could lead to Shingles and she knew that. They had discussed it once before when she had refused to babysit her friend’s kid that had spent the weekend at a Chicken Pox Party.

Eddie shuddered at the thought.

“What do you mean?” He asked when he realized that he hadn’t replied and she hadn’t elaborated. He had gotten lost in his thoughts instead.

Karmen sighed at the question, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. Giving off a sense of defensiveness that he’d never seen in her before. It confused him more than the statement. 

It was as if she was trying to shield herself from whatever she was going to say next.

Maybe more accurately, his reaction to it.

“I um..” She cleared her throat. Leaning in close as huffing again before continuing. “I have my period.” She whispered scandalously, cheeks red as she quickly moved away again and waited for the noises of disgust to start.

Eddie was only nineteen. She was his first sexual partner. First… Girlfriend? She guessed. He hadn’t had a maternal figure in his life. Not a nice one anyway. Not even a nice aunt he could relate to. No sisters.

She doubted he had experience at all with periods. If he even knew what it was or how it worked. She’d assumed he’d learnt about them in Health Class at school. If they even taught Sex Ed anymore. She wasn’t sure. There had been an uproar about it when she had been in High School and she knew certain parents on the PTA had been trying to outlaw it ever since.

Eddie’s mouth fell open at the words. Head lolling downwards as he looked to the side at nothing in particular and he sat for a long moment in silence before breathing out a long.

“Ohhh…” 

Finally understanding. 

He had learnt about periods in Health Class. They did still do Sex Ed and not to brag but he’d passed it three times now.

“Mm.” Karmen hummed simply, holding herself a little tighter as Eddie turned to her with an incredulous look.

“Well that doesn’t matter.” He laughed, relief flowing over him in a large wave as everything clicked into place and he understood why she had been so cagey about it all and not feeling well.

Karmen inhaled sharply at his words. Feeling her throat go dry and swallowing against the arid feeling. 

Eddie was completely oblivious to her reaction, shaking his head rubbing at his eyes with calloused fingertips as he sighed a heavy sigh that alleviated so much of his anxiety.

Karmen watched him carefully, mistaking the shake of his head and the sigh of relief for frustration. Her tongue darted out to lick at her lips as she nodded in response to the anger she expected but hoped wouldn’t come from someone like Eddie. 

“Yeah…” She said softly, pulling her hands away from her body and picking at her nails as she thought. 

Eddie’s hand fell away from his face at the sound of her voice. He looked her up and down quickly, confused by the reaction and inching toward her as he tried to figure out where he had gone wrong.

Karmen flinched as he approached and Eddie stopped in his tracks as she tried to play it off as bringing up her hand to run her fingers through her hair.

His blood ran cold at the thought that he had startled her. That she was potentially scared of him.

“Yeah.” She agreed again, the hollow laugh returning as she forced a smile onto her face that he could tell immediately wasn’t real. “You’re right.” She said simply. “I guess it doesn’t stop me from…“ She trailed off. Eddie tilting his head forward ever so slightly, brows completely obscured by his hair as he waited.

“From… What?” He asked,  breaking the silence as she looked at him with tired eyes.

“From…” She shrugged, forcing the smile to stick as he made a lewd gesture with her hand and Eddie finally realized what had happened.

“Oh my God!” He exclaimed, making her flinch properly this time and slapping his hand over his mouth quickly in an apologetic gesture before letting it fall to his lap and lowering his tone. “Oh my God.” He repeated, barely words. “No.” He said urgently. “No, I meant…” He paused, eyes wide and whirring around the room as he tried to put it into words and made sure he was using the right ones. “I mean it doesn’t matter because… Because I just want to see you.” He stressed, his hand in the vague shape of a claw as he hovered it in front of his heart. “I don’t have to see you naked every time I see you.” He explained. “I just want to… To see you.” He said again. “To be with you.”

Karmen studied him thoughtfully. Seeming surprised by the reaction and skeptical about whether or not he was telling the truth.

“I–” She began, cutting herself off as Eddie took the opportunity to move an inch closer before closing the gap between them when she didn’t respond negatively. He placed a hand on her knee, thumb crinkling against the candy in her lap as he stroked her through the knitted blanket.

“You didn’t think I’d want to hang out?” He asked gently when she didn’t continue. “Just because we can’t do that kind of stuff?” He added as nonchalantly as he was able.

He found it hard to comprehend that she would think he would ever choose not to hang out with her. The only time he didn’t spend wishing in the back of his mind that he was with her instead of whatever else he was doing was on Hellfire Nights.

Even then when he returned home alone after a night of shouting at children and taking a little too much pleasure in the demise of their characters he was lonely and wished he could call her or go and see her.

He didn’t though because Friday Nights were when she planned things with her friends or family and kept up her own relationships. But even on nights that he knew she was alone or didn’t have plans he still left her to it. Not wanting to seem clingy and letting her have some much needed alone time to unwind after a stressful work week without the threat of her alarm waking her at the crack of dawn.

“I thought you would probably have better things to do than deal with that.” She answered honestly. Watching as his ringed hand tapped up against the M&Ms on her thigh.

“Um. No?” Eddie said he pushed through his astonishment. More of a question than anything. Like he couldn’t believe that she actually thought he wouldn’t want to spend time with her because sex was off the table. “I still want to see you.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Why wouldn’t I want to see you?” He asked again, a lopsided grin gracing his features and taking away from the small flush on his cheeks as he looked down after asking all his questions. 

He was going in too hard again. He could tell. 

But he was mortified by the misunderstanding. That she’d think even for a second that him saying it didn’t matter meant that he didn’t care about her feelings and that she could still… ‘service’ him.

The thought of disregarding someone else like that so flagrantly was disgusting.

He wanted to make it very clear that this was not the case. Not even remotely what he had been trying to say.

He had missed her so damn much over the last three days. He felt like he was going crazy. She was all he had been able to think about. Granted, a lot of that was wondering why she had really canceled and why she hadn;t called. But it wasn’t like he spent the time away from her jerking off and wishing she was in his bed with him. 

All of his distress had been emotional. The constant question of why in his mind. 

Would she want to see him again? 

When? 

When was it okay to ask? 

Was it needy to call? 

Sex had been the last thing on his mind when it came to her and their… friendship.

“I don’t know.” Karmen admitted softly, a sly smile on her face. “I guess I figured you would suddenly be very busy.” She said sarcastically.

He wouldn’t be the first boyfriend she’d ever had that dipped for a week at a time. Very specifically around the time she would get her cycle only to return ready and raring to go with a weeks worth of pent up desire, their schedule suddenly wide open when she wasn’t bleeding anymore. 

That was one of the reasons why she usually skipped taking the sugar pills in her contraceptive packet that would allow her to start her period. That and the fact that having a period was generally miserable. She enjoyed not having to worry about it for a few months. Her doctor had told her it was fine to skip a few in a row and she had. Regretting whole-heartedly that she had gone about six months without one at the point where she’d met Eddie.

That meant she only had a cycle or two left until her body began to rebel and she started spotting through the middle of a cycle. Something she’d learnt the hard way during her previous relationship.

She hadn't been planning to meet anyone or having sex at all really until Eddie came along and metaphorically set her loins on fire. She knew she’d have to let her body do its thing at some point early on in their relationship and she had been dreading it. 

She had planned on doing the next cycle after they had been hanging out for just a little longer. So she could feel even a little more secure. But her body had betrayed her and when she’d gone to the bathroom at lunch on Friday she discovered that the choice had been made for her.

She was just grateful that her and Eddie didn’t spend Friday nights together because for one she probably would have had to cancel on him in person or end up outright telling him and for two, it meant she wasn’t wearing any of her nice new underwear that she’d bought after meeting him. 

So the sting of angrily lobbing her ruined panties in the garbage when she’d gotten home during her break had been a tiny one.

She hadn’t wanted to cancel on Eddie. She really, really hadn’t wanted to cancel on Eddie. Being held by nice strong arms in a warm embrace was always the thing she found herself desiring most when she was wounded. In emotional and physical pain.

Her body had certainly decided that she had to pay back the deficit. Making her suffer through some of the worst cramps of her life. She’d spent the Saturday when she should have been at the lake crying on her couch over how much pain she was in and how much she missed her silly boyfriend and resisting the urge to call him.

At one point she had kicked the phone off the coffee table in an effort to stop her reaching for it. But she’d had to put it back when her friend that lived across the road had turned up at her door to check she was alive when her phone was off the hook for several hours.

John had nodded knowingly, backing out of the house as she glared at him with watery eyes and returning a little later to shove a bar of chocolate through the mail slot. It would have been a beautiful gesture if it wasn’t taped to the documents he needed her to sign before Monday morning.

“Do I look like someone who is ever busy?” Eddie asked wryly, making her sniff out a laugh as he hummed to himself. “Actually, I would like to do that again.” He amended. “I think it would bode better for me if you thought that I was someone whose company other people desired.” 

Karmen laughed at that, a proper laugh this time accompanied by a smile that sparkled in her eyes. Eddie only half regretted the fact that he wasn’t joking as he watched the way she reacted to it. Making her smile was worth the humiliation of her knowing he didn’t really have a social life  anymore since most of his friends had left town the year before.

“I desire your company.” She admitted as her laughter died down.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She breathed. “I missed you.”

“Why didn’t you call?” He asked against his better judgment and before he could stop himself.

“I don’t think my fragile emotional state could have taken you rejecting me.” She answered after a moment. Surprised by the stunned look on his face at her admission.

“Kam…” He laughed. “I’m so lucky everyday that you even want to talk to me. You think I’d not come around if you asked me to?” He asked incredulously. “I mean you’re flat out getting me to not come around when you didn’t ask me to.” He joked. “I know there was no key out there before me.” He added, pointing vaguely behind himself towards the front yard. “I know you put it there because you were sick of getting up to let me in.” He said pointedly as she snickered at his silliness.

“I do hate getting up.” She laughed as he nodded in agreement.

“So do I. But I do it for you.” He nodded, feigning exhaustion in his tone.

It was his turn to make a lewd gesture, making her scoff as he mimed getting a boner.

“No, seriously though.” He added quickly, worried she would think he was trying his luck with the innuendo. “Speaking of getting up for you.” He began. “With my legs. Get your mind out of the gutter.” He added with a sarcastic head shake that had her nudging at him with her knee. Some of the candy on her lap sliding onto the floor.

Eddie lent down to pick it up and she snatched it off him playfully, positioning her hands to pull the bag open when he placed his gently on top of it and blocked her from doing so, so that she would look at him.

“Shall I get us pizza for dinner?” He asked before she could indulge in the chocolate in her hands.

“Sure.” She answered excitedly as he pulled his hand away and she busted the bag of candy while staring deeply into his exasperated eyes. “Pizza for dessert sounds amazing.” She laughed.

~~

More Notes: I don't know if it was obvious or not but I very specifically had Karmen refer to Eddie as her boyfriend/partner and their 'relationship' while Eddie thinks of their friendship etc. Because at this point in time they haven't actually discussed what they are yet and in Labels, the misunderstanding is actually explained and aired out between them.

Read the rest of the series here :)

This series is so personal to me, so it means the world to me when someone let’s me know they enjoy a work from this series. If you guys liked this please pleaseee consider letting me know via comment, reblog, message, anon ask etc.  

Tags: @3ddi3-daydreamer @micheledawn1975 @munson-blurbs @wheels-of-despair @browneyes528 @stevemunsons

[imtrashraccoon]

Hello everyone!

Next Day

A month ago I saw a post by @scrambledmeggys (I hope you don't mind me tagging you!) for a month's worth of prompts for Self Shipping with UF! Papyrus. I originally wanted to try my hand at art but I am much better at writing imo, so here is what I've come up with so far!

I missed Day 1 so now I'm uploading that and Day 2 at the same time. I'm planning on continuing to write a continuous storyline with these prompts but I am pretty much making things up as I go lol.

Edit: I actually drew something for this chapter here if you want to check it out!

Day 1: First Meeting

You walked carefully through the snow, cringing slightly from the loud crunching sound it made, interrupting the otherwise quiet winter morning.

You were in a tough spot to say the least.

The fall had been an accident. One moment, your little friend was innocently kicking stones down the sink hole, and the next, they'd slipped and fell in. Of course, you'd tried your hardest to catch them but then you lost your balance and plunged in after them.

Against all odds, you'd both survived the fall. While your friend had thankfully only sustained a few small cuts, especially because you managed to shield them from the impact, you on the other hand had hit your head pretty hard. The bleeding had stopped by now but you still felt weak and rather lightheaded.

Still, you had to keep going. You had to find a way to get Frisk back to the surface. They were still a child, barely six, and had their whole life ahead of them afterall.

Speaking of, Frisk lightly tapped your shoulder and you paused so they could tell you what was on their mind. Shifting them from your back around your body until you were facing them, you flashed them a small smile.

"What happened?" you asked quietly.

Frisk's face reflexively screwed up. "You died again..." they signed slowly.

Your smile fell. "I'm sorry..." you murmured and let out a sigh.

You didn't understand how or why, but ever since falling down here, Frisk had seemingly developed an amazing power that allowed them to reset time to previous safe points. They didn't really know how to explain it but they claimed it was sort of like reloading a video game.

You didn't know how many times you'd apparently died so far, as Frisk hadn't been keeping track. You were instead focusing on doing your best to keep moving forward. Still, you were pretty concerned for them.

While you didn't remember any of your deaths up to this point, you knew Frisk did and while neither of you was discussing it, you knew this was something that would need to be dealt with. Once you got back to the surface, you would need to get therapy and figure out how to do the same for Frisk. They would definitely benefit from it at least.

Frisk patted your shoulder and you realized you'd zoned out. "It's alright, I'm getting used to it." They smiled but you knew it was a forced one.

"I promise I will keep you safe. No matter what happens, we will get through this together," you said.

Frisk nodded and their expression took on a more determined look.

You took a deep breath. "Let's do this again then," you muttered and started to shift Frisk back into a piggyback hold.

"Watch out for the skeleton up ahead," Frisk signed before wrapping their arms around your shoulders again.

You raised an eyebrow. Was that who'd killed you? Frisk hadn't elaborated further but you didn't blame them. You'd died a couple times to the traps in the Ruins and many times during your escape from Toriel. Many of those had apparently been pretty grisly if how shaken Frisk had been afterwards was any indication.

< ~ - . - ~ >

Someone was stalking you. While you were trying not to think about it, you were getting pretty anxious. Frisk hadn't said anything else so you just focused on continuing forwards.

Until you came to a narrow bridge with wooden bars across it that is. While you could still get through the gap between the bars with little effort, before you could do so, you heard footsteps approaching from behind you.

Frisk tightened their hold on your shoulders and you quickly turned around to put yourself between them and this new person.

It was a skeleton but not quite like what human skeletons looked like. He was only slightly taller than you were, but his bones seemed thicker and sturdier which gave him quite a bit of added bulk.

He was wearing a gray hoodie with a fur fringe, a red turtle neck sweater underneath, a pair of basketball shorts, and a pair of high tops. His smile was filled with sharp teeth, one of which was gold, and there was a pair of crimson pinpricks in his otherwise empty eye sockets that regarded you suspiciously.

"well, well, what have we here?" he drawled as his eyelights flickered over your body.

You narrowed your eyes in response, feeling a wave of disgust at the way he was eyeing you up. "My eyes are up here, thank you very much," you muttered through grit teeth.

The skeleton chuckled, "ah, my bad." He held out his right hand and added, "name's sans, sans the skeleton. and you are?"

Before you could actually shake his hand though, Frisk squeezed your shoulder. You assumed they were warning you not to, so you didn't.

"Rihanna," you said in response.

Sans raised a bonebrow when you left him hanging but seemed ultimately unbothered, which was a relief. "i'd say it's nice to meet ya, but that'd be a lie," he said and flashed a slightly menacing grin at you.

If you weren't holding Frisk, you would've crossed your arms, so instead you just gave him an unamused look.

Sans chuckled and started to walk around you, "ya know, i'm supposed to be on the look out for humans right now, but i don't really care about capturin' anyone."

You remained facing him as he walked until you'd essentially swapped places. You held Frisk a bit closer as well, just in case you'd have to run.

"now my brother, Papyrus, well, he's a human huntin' fanatic," Sans continued. He glanced through the wooden fence and added, "go on through, he made the bars too wide to stop anyone anyways." He turned and strode casually across the bridge as if to demonstrate.

You glanced at Frisk over your shoulder and they nodded. Well, at least he didn't seem like he wanted to immediately kill you like most monsters you'd met so far. So you followed him, although you maintained a safe distance just to be on the safe side.

Sans paused near a wooden booth up ahead and looked further down the path. As you walked over to him, he made a quiet "huh" sound. "ya know what, i think that's my brother comin' this way now..." There was a slightly amused tinge to the tone of his voice as he spoke which sent a wave of irritation through you.

You glanced over where he was looking and immediately spotted a tall skeleton wearing black armour with red accents approaching. Even from this distance, you could tell he was pissed and it sent a shiver down your spine.

Frisk squirmed in your grip to be let down and while you didn't want to let go of them, you relented and let go. They thankfully stayed behind you and clutched onto one of your pant legs.

You knelt down next to them and ruffled their fluffy hair a little. Flashing them a small smile, you whispered, "We doing this?"

Frisk got a familiar determined look and nodded. "I'll help you! I think we can talk him down if you say the right things."

You chuckled and stood up again, ready to face this new opponent. You could get through this, in fact, you would get through this...for Frisk's sake.

Papyrus certainly looked familiar and part of you wondered if he was actually the one who'd killed you last time. It would make sense, as he definitely looked more dangerous than Sans.

He was at least a foot taller than you were and looked quite a bit different from his brother. He still had sturdy bones but his frame was a lot more angular compared to Sans' more bulky look. He had sharp teeth as well, although his eyelights were a slightly different shade, maybe a scarlet? His left eye socket also had two long scars across it, presumably from a fight.

Besides his black chestplate, Papyrus also wore long red gloves, a red scarf that was more of a cape, and tall red boots with heels surprisingly. If you weren't battling to remain calm, you probably would've complimented his bold fashion sense. You didn't know of anyone else who could look so menacing and...hot at the same time.

"Sans! You Lazybones! You Have Not Reset Your Traps Yet Today! What If A Human Comes..." He paused mid rant when he took in your appearance.

Sans bristled and the corners of his smile fell slightly. He seemed like he was about to retort in kind but stopped himself.

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets at you as if he was scrutinizing your appearance. He slowly strode forward, stopping a few feet away from you. "Why Does It Feel Like I Have Met You Before, Human?" he asked in a chillingly quiet tone.

You stared up at him unblinkingly and crossed your arms. "I could ask the same actually..." you answered.

Papyrus glanced at Sans, who merely shrugged. "don't ask me, bro," he hissed.

Frisk tugged at your pant leg to get your attention. When you glanced down, they quickly signed what was on their mind. "Flirt with him."

You had to bite your tongue to keep yourself from retorting and drawing too much attention. Why would they suggest such a thing? Where had this child even picked up the concept of flirting? If this worked, you were going to have a serious discussion with them at some point.

"So, Papyrus," you started to say, catching his attention once again. "Do you have more bones than the average human or would you like to find out?" You mentally kicked yourself for that one but tried to maintain face and batted your eyelashes at him.

Papyrus stared at you for a solid five seconds before the meaning of your question seemed to set it. A dusting of scarlet flickered across his cheekbones and he stepped back from you, covering his mouth as he did so.

You smiled and stepped slightly closer to him. Feeling slightly bolder, you called upon everything you had learned from sucking up to college professors and your boss.

"If I may be so bold, I think you also look very cool. Like seriously, humans dress so boring in comparison." You made a bit of a show of looking him up and down, nodding approvingly. "I'm actually jealous of how cool you are."

Papyrus opened his mouth to respond but quickly closed it. The scarlet blush wasn't disappearing no matter how hard he probably wished it would. He stammered and stepped back again.

"You... Your Flattery Will Not Save You, Human." He scoffed and turned on his heal. As he stormed off, you heard him mutter something along the lines of, "Not Being Able To Talk Your Way Out Of My Traps."

You couldn't believe that had worked. You scooped Frisk into your arms and hugged them tightly. "You have some explaining to do later, kiddo..." you muttered but Frisk only grinned at you, clearly proud of themselves.

"wow, i can't tell if you're insane or just lucky. either way, i'll be keepin' an eye socket on ya, human..." Sans said quietly.

You chuckled and flashed him a triumphant grin, which caused him to huff and walk away in the direction you had come from. You'd survived just a little bit longer it seemed.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Luis ramble time

TW//homophobia??

I think my favorite thing about Luis has to be the idea that his religious trauma led him to become homophobic but not in the sense of how it normally is. I think he internalized it as he grew up in a Catholic setting and became more interested in other people. This is why I believe he probably wouldn't have kissed Leon,,he will flirt and make flirty gestures but I don't really believe he'd full on go for it. I think it's more believable that he would've felt guilty because we all know one thing Luis still holds dear is his religion.

To me Luis is bisexual and when he met Leon it made him remember those odd feeling but he was to afraid to express them both from fear of loosing Leon and the feeling of being sinful. (this comes from someone who connects to Luis in these regards,,dw I came to terms with myself awhile ago!) And just like everything else in his life he ran away from it and ultimately..

He never let himself feel those emotions nor tell Leon

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FERAL I WENT OVER THIS I STARTED GOING DOWN SUCH A LONG RABBIT HOLE OUUUUGHHH

BUT YOURE SO RIGHT YOU HAVE A BIT BEAUTIFUL BRAIN IT HURTS SM,,,,,,,, I think you’re absolutely right but I wanted to add my own headcannons too cuz I think it could be a very very interesting discussion!!!!!! I’ve put my thoughts under the cut so it doesn’t clog up peoples dashboards!!!!

I couldn’t agree more I think it’d be pretty safe ro say Luis has a FAIR BIT of internalised homophobia from his religious upbringing (now I wanna clarify that I don’t have any religious trauma like, at all, I wasn’t brought up relifious but I have TONS of friends who’ve gone through it so I’ve done my best to understand it best I can!!!!) and where my headcannon sliiiiiiiightly differs from yours is that I think Luis probably would have come to terms with his own queerness by the time he’s working with Umbrella

Obviously he’s already very flamboyant and VERRRRYYY flirty w both men and women and he’s clearly confident in himself- but what a lot of people seem to forget that the lovely @blveherb and @possessionisamyth have gone into detail about is that Luis is an immigrant, and if you look at literally any piece of history from before like,,,, roughly around the 80’s queer and immigrant history were REALLY intertwined, like, the two communities would often be at the same places or facing the same struggles at the same time etc and obviously white historians haven’t done us any favours with preserving this history (and ALSO also i am WHITE AS ALL HELL so im obviously not in a position to be speaking on topics that i dont fully understand/havent affected me which is why i ask that if anyone is more knowledgable on the topic please do elaborate on it!!!!!!!)((also it’s obviously very very important not to try and take away focus from or erase poc history when talking about queer history!!!!!!!!!!!!!))

So I don’t think it would be much of a stretch to say that Luis, after leaving Valdelobos and ending up wherever he did, would have also discovered the queer community as a whole just by virtue of being apart of a minority (again, this isn’t something that’s ever even remotely effected me so please if I’ve made any mistakes or if anyone wants to point anything out do so!!!!) also I just imagine that, in general, Luis would’ve been grateful for any kind of community to fall back on after he left his own- how old he was when he left is unknown obviously but I can’t imagine being barely even an adult discovering the big wide world for the first time after spending your entire life in a tiny rural catholic village would’ve been easy which is why communities like that are so important (also you could absolutely go into how Umbrella would’ve fed that need for a community even further in a young naive Luis but that’s getting ahead of the subject)

Also somewhat on and off topic but M A A N Y historians have pointed out that Don Quixote is a pretty queer fricken book. That’s an entirely different discussion in and of itself but the whole book itself, the relationship between Alonso and Sancho, the history itself surrounding the book etc can leave a lot of queer interpretations to be read (and @highball66 has pointed out that while not specifically a term used for gay men, in some areas ‘Sancho’ has been used to refer to ‘the other guy in the relationship’, ie the man the husband is sleeping with etc) ((AND also it’s just,, kinda hard to analyse super old books through the lens of the LGBTQ+ community as we understand it roday- Kaz Rowe on YouTube has some good videos on the topic I can’t reccomend enough!!!!))

And so I personally like to imagine that by the time he returns BACK to Valdelobos, he’s probably come to terms with it- but like most traumas, returning to the place where it all started and manifested probably would’ve brought up those same feelings of internalised homophobia like you’ve said; which is why he’s so afraid to confess to Leon. Even if he KNOWS he’s come to terms with his identity n such, that doesn’t mean that returning to the place where it all started doesn’t bring back up those old feelings (also him returning home in the manor that he does just makes my theory/headcannon that he’s Trans go WILD but I’m saving that for ANOTHER DAY)

‘He holds Religion very Close to him’ GOD YOURE SO RIGHT ABT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like even if he doesn’t still believe in god or anything his upbringing still effects him!!!!!!!!!!!!! He still always does the sign of the cross whenever he sees a dead body and obviously that classic catholic guilt and need to repent follows his every actions alongside just, y’know, the average amount of guilt people would feel in his situation BCNEHENDJDND so can you imagine how much WORSE he’d feeling going BACK to Valdelobos and meeting LEON and having all those feelings and fears come up again???????????? OUGH WHY MAKE ME THINK ABT THIS OP /lh

AND and, like you mentioned, Luis always has this reoccurring theme of thinking he has more time than he actually has and that he can run away from anything. It’s honestly so so so very tragic; and just the idea of that cycle repeating AGAIN in something SO PERSONAL (ie, his love for Leon) is just,,,,,,,,,, o u g h it’s so heartbreaking man why would you say that I am strangling you /jjjjjjjj

Luis always thinks he has more time to fix his mistakes, to be a better person- and even when he starts to realise he doesn’t, he still holds out hope. He thinks, ‘tomorrow I’ll tell Leon’, but he never gets that opportunity.

And finally this one is purely self indulgent but I’ve always pictured Luis as being the kind of person to just be happy labelling himself as ‘queer’ cuz it’s quick and convinient but BISEXUAL LUIS SL TRUE

(Also obligatory ‘these are just headcannons/theories/analysis nobody is saying these are CANNON this is just an observation’ message!!!!!!!)

[juliusthedressmaker]

As much as I love the attention...

Can you all please stop asking me about my dick and sending me extremely horny, explicit asks? I have never even sent a dick pic in my life, you know? Go ahead and ask any of my crew if you do not believe me!! For fucks sake, I've never even measured it - why would I?! That is one thing I'm not insecure about at all and find it stupid anyone even does so! So asking me the measurements of my size..? I could not even give you an answer if I wanted!! I was kind enough to indulge you all in an estimate with my hands some time ago, that's all you get!! I love to answer my fans questions, you know? But 75% of what I get asked is about my dick or beyond degenerate questions of my sex life, or what you want me to do to you! I am a married man! And I am not a man whore like Killian!!! Send your horny asks to him if you must, you know??

Here, all I will say is the following, and this is to make you all shush once and for all! Enjoy because I won't elaborate. Bother @killianlynch, he might actually answer but he is very busy 24/7 so don't expect it!

Nsfw below, 18+ interaction only allowed!!! >:u

Yes, I am extremely kinky.

Yes, my relationship with Killian is a full time dom/sub dynamic

I've only had proper sex with a total of four people in my entire life.

No, I will never fuck a woman again. My ex wife, Emily, is the only one I did and ever will.

I'm a cisman, MPREG...? WHAT THE FUCK?!

Yeah, I have 'special horny time'

No, I don't wish to further elaborate as it in any way.

As far as my dick: I have a massive demon cock.

Yes, I engage in sexual activity with Killian extremely often. I am an incubus and so is he, what the fuck do you expect?!

No, I do not have any limit to how long I can go at it. Again, I AM A SEX DEMON.

Anything else? Use your imagination! >:u

There! Are you fucking happy now?!?!

:)<3

[mydarllinglover]

Alone || Nothing New

Previous

The group had set up camp for the night, though Natalia was restless, she wanted to go home, she needed to go home, and she was pissed at her friend for being the one to convince her to go.

She needed to be with her kids, it was killing her to not know what was going on, and how she acted out, she was terrified that anything could happen to them, where would Alpha draw the line? She'd proven plenty of times before that she didn't care for the lives of children.

Natalia was nervously scratching at her arm, staring into the firey flames as she thought of every bad scenario that could happen, she couldn't help it, that was until the distraction of Carol walking away, brought her back.

"She ain't been the same since she got off that boat." Daryl told Michonne. "Maybe she's better off on it. Found some peace, you know."

"Hey. She belongs with us." Michonne told him. "She ain't sleeping either. She's out all night looking for them."

"We gotta take care of them." Natalia stood up from the log. "This isn't like Negan, no ones holding the weight of peace over our heads. You shouldn't of stopped her." She looked at Michonne.

"Nat, this is different."

"Don't talk to me like that, Mich. I know what the stakes are and what they're-"

"Are you, do you really, cause that punch you threw earlier, doesn't have me so convinced that you do." Michonne snapped.

"You're lucky it was just a punch. After what she did, what she's done, and to do this! Sometimes it feels like Rick never really left, cause you filled his spot, just rolling over and taking whatever shit is handed to us."

"Don't you dare-" Michonne pointed at her, her jaw clenched.

"Do you even know why we left, Michonne? Why we ran away to live in the woods? Because I couldn't stand to be in that place any longer, to hear the things people said about that man, having my daughter go behind my back and converse with him, keeping him around as a constant reminder to them, to us about what he did, what he did to us, to me! Whilst you all defended him! And now, he's out walking about, with freedom, getting to do what the hell he feels like doing, gaining sympathy from the people who forgot, being around my children!"

"And he's the one who saved the twins!" Michonne shouted.

"He what?" Daryl tuned into the conversation, the one he had been desperately trying to block out.

"Oh, yeah! Your wife never bothered to mention this to you." Michonne turned to him.

"Mich, stop, just shut up." Natalia shook her head.

"During the snow storm, which was, hm let me think, five months ago! As they were evacuating everyone to Aaron's house, the twins ended up wandering off and getting lost, Negan was the one to go out and find them, bring them back, not Nat, but he did, when no one else bothered."

"You know full well it wasn't li-"

"Nat." Daryl growled.

"Daryl, honey, it wasn't like that, we had no choice-"

"You didn't tell me?" He asked. "Why the hell didn't you tell me!"

"Because I knew you would react like this!"

"Bullshit! I had a right to know that ma girls almost died when I weren't even there, then to find out he saved them-"

"Exactly, you are never here!"

She couldn't elaborate further as gun shots ran out, alerting everyone.

"Carol." The three muttered as they ran towards the sound.

"What happened?" Daryl asked her as she got up from the ground.

"Whisperers. Three of them." She explained.

"Walkies on. Split up, north, west. We'll take east. Capture! Do not kill!"

"Yeah, because why the hell would we wanna do that?" Natalia snarked.

"Let's go." Michonne gritted through her teeth.

"Way ahead of you."

The four walked staggeredly apart, all with things on their mind but no time to delve into it, instead, they focused on the task at hand, but there was nothing to find.

"No sign of them anywhere" Michonne shared, after speaking to Laura on the walkie. "No traces, no tracks, nothing. You're sure you saw three?" She asked Carol.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"Carol... how long you been taking those pills for?" She looked down at the bottle in Carol's hand.

"Since I got back. It's fine. They're like coffee. We can't stay out here."

"Alright. Find a place with walls, hole up for a little while." Daryl suggested. "Get some sleep."

Natalia scoffed, turning away.

"Something you'd like to say, Nat?" Michonne called her out.

"What's the point in wasting my breath, clearly whatever I think wouldn't matter to you, cause oh right, I'm out here, aren't I." She stomped forward.

They had reached an academy High school, meeting up with the others there.

Michonne was the first to enter, waiting a moment before going further, letting the others spread out to look around.

"Its clear." Daryl whispered, stepping away from a broken door.

Carol had walked towards it, accidently kicking a book on the floor, Natalia jumped at the sound but ultimately ignored it, moving on, whilst Daryl waited back for his friend.

"You two, get down here." She told Griffin and Laura.

"Gotcha." He nodded.

"Keep watch on the east end."

They stepped away, Carol and Daryl had wandered somewhere else, hopefully to talk about Carols new pill fascination.

"I'm sorry." Michonne muttered so lowly, that Natalia almost missed it.

"Mhm." She hummed, as she looked around, seeing no signs of walkers.

"Nat, I mean it, okay."

"What for?"

Michonne let out a sigh, thinking about her words carefully.

"For dragging you out here, for... for grassing on you, I don't know."

She was quiet for a moment.

"Then I'm sorry, too, for everything, I'm.. I, I'm just so scared." Natalia's voice wobbled, as she admitted this.

Michonne was thrown off, Natalia Dixon wasn't scared, she was never scared, that wasn't her, it just wasn't.

"Y'know, Carol left Henry's care in my hands, and... whilst he and Enid were fighting for their lives, with Tara and the others, I was watching a fucking movie, with my kids, I didn't keep him safe-"

"Nat, that wasn't your fault." Michonne tried to soothe her.

"But- but it was, it was my job to keep him safe, and I failed, and Carol- Evie, what they had to see... what it did to them. What if I can't keep my own kids safe, Mich, what- what if she goes after them, because of what I did."

"Natalia, stop it." Michonne placed her hands on her friends shoulders. "They are fine, okay, they're safe in Alexandria, we have patrols, protocols and lots of people who would risk their own lives to keep them safe, besides, you turned the twins and Evie into fine little fighters, they can protect their own if it ever came down to it. And when we get back, you can continue hovering over them, watching their every move, because you're a damn good mother."

Natalia bowed her head, as she hugged her friend, holding her tightly as she allowed a few tears to slip, she'd blame it on the exhaustion.

Michonne hugged her, resting her chin on her shoulder as she rubbed her back.

"You're an fucking amazing mom, too." Natalia pulled away, wiping at her eyes.

"Thank you." She chuckled.

The two woman moved to sit on the floor, leaning against each other as they rested, sharing anecdotes about the weird or funny things their kids have done, whilst sharing their milestones and achievements, Michonne didn't bother calling Natalia out when she had stared talking about Lydia, as if the girl was her own.

Screaming and what sounded like struggle, alerted them.

They ran towards the Gymnasium, meeting the others there, as they found Carol, badly injured, glass was stuck in her arm, they had to get back to Alexandria.

Michonne, Daryl and Natalia waited outside the infirmary whilst Siddiq and Dante worked to fix Carol up, and eventually they had come outside.

"She alright?" Daryl eagerly asked.

"I-..." Siddiq looked for words, but was soon cut off.

"He got it out." Dante grinned widely, walking out behind him. "She's all patched up and out like a light."

"Great." Daryl responded, as the three walked into the place.

Once they were positive she was okay, Natalia had convinced Daryl to go home and get some sleep.

What they weren't expecting to see, when they got home was Evie and Lydia layed down on the couches, knocked out, dozing away, Lydia's stick was leaned beside her, whilst Evie held a knife in her fist, a gun was tucked under the cushion she was resting her head on.

"We should wake them." Natalia sighed, carefully slipping the weapons away from her daughter.

"You think this was their idea of keeping watch?" Daryl asked, looking at them unimpressed.

"Daryl, they're kids, they obviously tried, I think." She moved back, tiptoeing towards the big bookshelf beside the mantle, picking up one of the heavy books. "One... two..." She mouthed to Daryl, before dropping it hard, alerting the girls a good distance out of reach.

Just as she predicted, they both shot out of their seats, reaching for their desired weapons sporadically.

"That was mean." Daryl hummed.

"Hey, its us, 'kay, it's just us." As the two girls eyes settled on the pair, realising there was no real danger. "What were you two doing?"

"Mom?" Evie asked, rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her palm, as Lydia stifled a yawn.

"Dad's here, too." She replied.

"Why ain't you both in bed?" Daryl asked them.

"Wanted to make sure nothing happened whilst you were gone, protect the kids, and Lydia refused to go to the room."

"Seems like you were both doing a great job." He sassed.

"What, Lydia, you said you would be on watch." Evie pointed at her.

"No, it was your turn, you were supposed to."

"Liar, you were."

"Hey, hey. doesn't matter, alright, we're home now, and nothing happened." Natalia assured them, brushing Evie's blonde hair out of her face, kissing her head.

"What happened to your hand?" Lydia asked, inspecting her bruised knuckles.

Evie grabbed her mothers hand, looking at her fist with her own eyes.

"What did you do?" She asked.

"Nothing, I didn't do anything." She rolled her eyes.

"Dad, who did she hit?" Evie looked at the man.

"Evie!" Natalia looked at her, feeling betrayed.

"Yer mom just lost her cool, alright, don' matter." He couldn't help as his eyes wandered to the dark haired girl.

But Evie hadn't missed this.

"Her mother?" She asked, as if she were about to give an lecture. "You totally punched her Mom, didn't you?"

"You what?" Lydia stood up. "What happened?" She demanded to know.

"Hey, the kids are asleep, keep your voices down." Natalia tried to shush them.

"Mom, what happened out there?"

She shared a look with her husband, a look of question or a look of help, neither of them were sure.

"She's demanding more land, for them crossing into her land, she's cutting off our hunting grounds, made a comment about Henry, so Carol tried to shoot her, Michonne stopped her..."

"So you punched her." Evie finished.

Lydia stormed out of the room, towards the basement, not bothering to say a word to anyone.

Evie shook her head.

"I'm disappointed." Evie looked down. 

"Excuse me?" Natalia laughed.

"Look, I get she's an evil, evil person, believe me, I know." The girl shivered. "But that's still her mom, she still misses her, sometimes, late at night, I have to convince her not to leave, to not run back to her. Would have thought that you of all people would understand."

She then followed the girl to their room.

"Fuck sake." Natalia groaned, sitting down on the couch, her head in her hands.

Daryl came and sat down with her, his hand holding her thigh, as his thumb rubbed circles over her skin.

"They'll get over it, you done worse things." He said, his idea of making her feel better.

"Yeah, like what?" She asked rhetorically.

"Like keeping the secret that my kids almost died, when I weren't here, from me."

"And what would you have done with the information if I had told you?" She challenged.

He thought about it for a second, clearly frustrated by the question, as his jaw clenched, his nostril flared slightly, before his ears perked, and he looked towards the stairs.

"You hear that?" He asked.

And then she did, a slight thudding, then tiny whispers of assurance.

"There you go, nearly there." A voice came from the stairs before more thuds.

"Almost there, buddy, you're such a big boy, now."

"Girls? What are you doing with your brother?" Natalia called, as she got up from the couch, to go look what was going on, Daryl followed.

They found their three youngest all sat on the stairs, Archie was squished between the twins, as they seemed to be "bumping" down the stairs.

"He's too little to walk down them, and we're too little to carry him down, so we're pretending it's a slide." Bambi explained.

The corners of Natalia's mouth twitched up as she looked at her babies, how pure they were.

"Momma. Dada." Archie called, his hands waving in the air, Daisy was quick to grab a hold of his middle, making sure he didn't topple down the four stairs.

"I got ya, lil man." Daryl picked up his son, running his hand over the blond curls, that were starting to fade into a strawberry blond colour.

"What are the three of you even doing up?" Natalia asked them.

"We were asleep, but all your big mouths woke us up." Daisy rolled her eyes, as she wrapped her arms around Natalia's neck, leaning her head on her Mothers shoulder.

"Sorry, sweetheart, was yer mom arguing with the girls." Daryl told her, taking Bambi's hand and walking up the stairs.

"We were not arguing, we were just having a conversation about grown up stuff." Natalia corrected, scooping Daisy up in her arms, squeezing her tight as she followed her husband.

"Daddy, did Lydia's Mommy hurt anyone, again?" Bambi asked.

"Uncle Aaron said that she was an evil lady." Daisy chimed in. "I don't want her to hurt you guys."

"Well, yer Mom got her own back, she got her good." Daryl smirked.

"What did you do?" Bambi looked over her shoulder.

"Did you kill her?"

"No, No I didn't kill her, I just... hit her, hard." She admitted. "Y'know, like how Aunt Ro taught you."

"Mommy! That's so cool!" Daisy grinned. "I want to punch her, too!"

"Nah, It ain't cool, you don' needa be punching up anyone" Daryl told her, which was hypocritical.

"Daddy, have you ever punched anyone?" Bambi asked.

Natalia snorted at this.

"He's done a lot worse than that, darling."

"Cool." Daisy smiled. "They all deserved it, right?"

"Always." He answered.

It had turned out, that the kids had been sleeping in their beds, whilst they were away, Dog was still in there, layed out on his back, in his own little bed of blankets, hadn't even bothered to come greet them, that's how tired he was.

"Daddy, can you tell us a story about your brothers, Uncle Merle and Uncle Rick?" Daisy asked.

"Ooh, tell them about how I first met your brother, that's a good one." Natalia chimed in, as they all climbed into bed.

"Yeah, that's uh... that was an exhausting day for all of us, mainly cause yer uncle Merle's an huge dumbass who don' know when ta keep his trap shut." He chuckled.

"That's like you." Bambi told Daisy.

"It is not!" She resented, holding her bunny tightly, twirling her hair around her finger as she snuggled into Natalia.

"'Kay, so, yer mom had just broke into this place we were held up... where the main prick, a pirate, yer mom liked ta call him, if you wanna know why, yer gonna have to ask yer aunt Michonne that." Daryl started. "Anyway, she come's in, guns blazing with yer uncle Rick..." The kids listened eagerly whilst Daryl told the story, not wanting to miss an single detail, as they fought sleep to hear what happened next, and that's how the rest of the night went, until everyone was soundly asleep, cosied together.

They were given one peaceful day, one day where they were able to just live inside the walls, it even gave Natalia, Michonne and Daryl to organise a family dinner with all the kids, Evie had turned the offer down, instead to stay at the infirmary and help out, and Lydia wanted to practise, instead, Carol stayed in her room, Daryl took her food up to her on a tray.

It was fun, and happy, and well deserved, full of laughter, jokes and catch ups on the good things that were going on.

But that was until news of an incident in Hilltop came over the radio.

A tree had fallen down in the middle of the night, knocking over a wall and leaving nine injured, Michonne had taken Evie and Judith over, leaving the rest at home.

Evie was eager to get away from not only her parents, but her roommate, and she was happy to put her healing skills to good use, considering with having two doctors now, she felt mostly useless around them.

RJ was in the temporary care of the Dixons, which was good, because the twins seemed to have taken a keen liking to the boy, and they had started schooling together, though, Amelia, the teacher, had already reported back about the mischief the three were causing in the class, which they discovered to mostly be Daisy's mastermind plans.

Lydia had been creative on the bullying she'd received by Gage and two of his friends, Daryl had been running around all day getting her out of trouble, and away from Negan, who he was blaming her behaviour on.

Her latest stunt was catching a squirrel and dissecting it on their lunch table, Gabriel had been the one to report to them, but he had also sat and watched by as it happened.

Natalia had been busy repainting their front door, that someone had wrote the words "Silence the Whisperers" All over.

They had no idea who it was, but it was obvious who the message was intended for, she had raised her voice with obvious threats to passingbyers not only about the vandalism, but the harassment of Lydia, she wouldn't have it, the girl had suffered enough, and it was about damn time everyone backed off.

At dinner time, Lydia had refused to come out of the basement for food.

"What the hell is she doing down there?" Natalia grumbled, putting down her fork.

"Just leave it, I'll take her food down later, her problem if its cold." Daryl told her, cutting up RJ's deer steak. "Dais, don' throw pea's at yer brother."

"He was giving me funny looks." She defended herself.

"He's a baby." RJ replied.

"You're a baby." She told him.

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes you are." Bambi joined in. "You're only five, that's such a baby age."

"You were five last month!"

"Yeah, but we're not now, we're six, and you're not a big kid until you're six." Daisy made up.

"So, by that logic, the two of you are cutting up yer own food, an' doing yer chores after dinner." Daryl told them.

"No, no we're just babies, babies can't do chores, Daddy, duh" Daisy switched up.

"Yeah! We're so little, we can't possibly do that." Bambi shook her head, her pigtails flying around.

"I'm gonna go see what she's up to." Natalia decided, getting up from her chair, after ignoring everyone at the table, too focused on the girl.

"Nat... why do I bother." Daryl sighed to himself, dropping his opinion.

Natalia went down the stairs, hesitating at the girls door, before pushing herself to knock.

"Lydia?" She called. "We're all having dinner upstairs, and we would really like you to join in, don' want the food going to waste.... And you don' wanna eat it later, when it's all cold and mushy... Lydia?" When she received no answer, she finally opened the door, letting it swing open. "Lydia."

But low and behold, the room was completely empty.

"Lydia!" She called, but the girl still had not appeared. "Oh my god! Daryl!" Natalia ran back up the stairs. "Daryl!"

"What?" He caught her before she could run him over.

"She's gone, Lydia's not in her room."

"Okay, so maybe she just went on a walk." He shrugged.

"Yeah, right, sure, in a town full of people who hate her, this is your fault, after giving her such a hard time about fitting in!"

"Hey, don' spin this on me, she likes walking, burning off steam, sure she's fine."

"I'm gonna go look for her, stay with the kids." Natalia told him, grabbing her belt of knifes and placing them around her waist.

"Yeah, no, you don' need that."

"You don't know what could've happened, cause you're the one who scared her off."

"I was trying to help her." The man was getting visibly frustrated. "Least take Dog."

"Fine, Dog! Come on." She called.

"Mommy, where are you going?" Daisy called from the kitchen.

"Mommy's just gonna take a lil walk, okay? Daddy's gonna stay with you."

"I wanna come!" Bambi piped up.

"Aunt Nat, can I come?" RJ asked.

"No, you're all gonna stay here, whilst Daddy/Uncle Daryl do pudding."

"Awe." The kids groaned.

"Go on, at least keep an eye on them, make sure they don't sneak out." Natalia tested, opening up the door, and leaving.

"How the hell is this my fault, we've been together the whole night." Daryl growled to himself, shaking his head as he shuffled back to the kitchen.

"Lydia?" Natalia called, wrapping her arms around herself, in the cool spring evening.

"You lost the girl?" Marigold, an elder lady, asked, sat comfortably in a rocking chair, on her front porch.

"No, Mari, she just went on a walk, but it's dinner time now." She smiled politely.

"Should keep that girl on a leash, you seen what she's been doing to this place, causing chaos, we've suffered enough." She added. "Whilst your at it, put those twins of yours on one, too, don' need them meddling in anyone's business anymore, do better to mind their own and concentrate in school."

"Okay, Marigold, have a good evening." She turned away, dropping the kind expression instantly. "And choke to death." Natalia muttered lowly.

"What was that, dear?" The old bat called.

"Nothing." She replied, walking at a faster pace to get away.

Her calls for Lydia, soon turned into a hiss.

That was until someone grabbed her tightly, covering her mouth before she could scream.

She panted heavily as she stared wide eyed at the one person she never thought would over power her like this, again. Negan Smith.

He held a finger to his lips as he waited for her to attack.

"Follow, they got her." He murmured lowly, before letting go, moving towards the hanging clothes, Natalia followed right behind, and that's when she let her ears listen.

Lydia was crying, as  people were attacking her?

Negan pushed through an bedsheet, that was hung like a curtain, throwing a woman as he pulled a man off the girl, pointing at another boy, Gage.

Natalia didn't give them much attention, as she ran towards the girl in her care, collapsing to the ground beside her, placing her head in her lap as she hyperventilated.

"Hye, it's okay, you're okay, you're gonna be okay, kid." She repeated over and over, running her fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"We were just trying to scare her." Gage stammered, as Lydia wrapped her arms around Natalia's waist, holding her for dear life, as she tried to slow down her breathing.

"Yo, Negan!" Brandon shouted, emerging through the bedsheet. "What the hell's going on back here?"

"Hey, hey, focus on me, ignore them, okay, just take deep breathes." Natalia coached, wiping at the blood spewing from her upper lip and nose.

"Holy shit. Margo." The other man, gasped, running towards the woman. "Margo!"

They all looked round, to find the woman very clearly dead, her head was bleeding profusely, as her limp body layed against the wall Negan threw her at.

"Shit." Negan sighed, as he stood up away from Natalia and Lydia, realising his actions, and what he had done.

More people had appeared, and people were angry.

Siddiq dealt with the body as Daryl had joined Natalia's side, in trying to keep Lydia calm and stable.

"Freak, this is your fault!" Gage spat at the girl.

"It was Negan! Negan killed her!" Matthew spoke up, talking to the growing crowd.

"No, he didn't do anything wrong!" Lydia denied. "No, it wasn't... He didn't do anything."

"I know, hey, I know, it's okay." Natalia spoke in a soft quiet voice, only to her, continuing to brush her hair with her fingers.

"Now get him out of here!" Daryl ordered Brandon.

"Please!" Lydia started kicking as she cried, again.

"Move!"

"No, he didn't do anything wrong!" She screamed.

"I know. I know. I know." Daryl repeated.

"He didn't do anything wrong." She continued.

"I was there, I saw it, I know he didn't." Natalia defended the man, only for the girls sake. "Hey, everyone, shows over, those waves still ain't over, scram!" She demanded.

"No, please! No." Lydia's voice broke as the couple tried to soothe her, as the others took Negan back to his cell. "Please. Please."

"Lydia, just breathe, okay, before you throw up, just... look at me, breathe." Natalia took a deep breath in, holding it before letting go, encouraging the girl to copy. "You deal with this. I'll take her to Dante." Natalia told her husband, helping the girl up. "They attacked her, Daryl, they were going to beat her to death if he didn't stop them."

"I'll handle it." He nodded.

"It's alright, I got you, sweet girl." Natalia let Lydia hold onto her tightly, as they walked together to the infirmary.

"My arm, my arm hurts." She whimpered.

"Okay, that's okay, we can let Dante know, and he'll make it better, alright?"

Natalia didn't flinch from her side the whole time Dante fixed her up, placing an ice pack under her injured arm, also to help with her ribs.

Eventually Daryl joined them, too.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you." He spoke to her, carefully.

She gave no response, staying curled up, as if he was never there.

"Lydia." He touched her arm.

"He was so sweaty." She said, after a second. "Never liked deodorant. Said it... it made his armpits itchy. So I got used to it. Sometimes he smelled like garlic and onions. I miss him."

"Who's that?" Daryl asked.

"My dad." She started to cry, again. "My dad would've protected me."

Daryl sat down on the other side of the girl.

"Tell me what happened." He said.

"I'll give you guys some space." Natalia breathed, going to stand up, so that they could talk in private.

"No, don't go." Lydia latched onto her arm, "Please, stay with me."

"Okay, okay, yeah, if you want me to." She settled back down, placing her own hand over the girls, rubbing lazy circles over the back of it, something Daryl did with her, to calm her down, or just to calm himself.

She looked towards him, but he only nodded.

Then, Lydia sniffled, looking up between the pair, her eyes were still wild as she tried to focus.

"Negan saved my life. Just like he saved the twins."

Daryl wrapped an arm around her, as she burst into sobs at the reality of the situation, Natalia kept her hold on the girls hand, planning what she was going to say to the council, to defend the person she hated the most in the world.

Next

[nihils-trolls]

Of Gold and Shadows

context here

“C’mon, Ria. It’s just some old hive that got left to rot. Telling me you’re scared all of a sudden?”

“Shut up, Gaz. If I was scared, I wouldn’t’ve followed you out here, dumbass.”

A young troll prods his friend as they walk along a cobbled path lined with planted trees, long since forgotten and overgrown. It’s a windy- but otherwise quiet- night, moons high in the sky and peeking through the clouds overhead. A rather large piece of property once- this small valley appears thick with weeds and brambles; any other buildings that were here now drowned out in green and falling apart.

The two had heard tales of this derelict estate that was tucked deep into the mountain pass to the north, and that it was haunted by the lingering spirit of the old staff and its last owner. Fate unknown, body never found.  But of course, those are just rumors. 

“Oh, okay then. I’ll believe that. One hundred percent.” Gazram says with a sarcastic tone, to which Rianne replies with a slug to his shoulder.

In all honesty, neither of them thought there was going to be anything out here. But just a short way back, they’d found an old trail that led to where they are now. Visible just through the trees ahead lies a stately manor. Or, what would have been one maybe several hundred sweeps prior. 

The building is still standing despite the disrepair it’s in; the porch in front is falling to pieces, windows broken in, a large hole in the roof- the list goes on. From the outside, the inside seems to be in just as bad of shape. Empty for who knows how long, boarded doors and slanting floors.

“Yeesh, this place has seen better nights,” Gazram states plainly. “So what. You thinkin’ we just… march right in, yeah? See if we can catch anything weird?”

“I mean. What else are we gonna do? I still don’t know why I even came out here with you.” 

“I dunno. To leave that stuffy hive of yours and live a little? No harm in exploring.”

Rianne steps around broken boards on her way to the main entrance, Gazram following close behind. Unlike others they’ve seen, this door remains unbarred. A quick jiggle of the handle reveals it to be locked; however, the motion causes the door to swing inside slowly, revealing a moth-eaten foyer. Large, golden colored draperies line the walls, black rugs line the once elaborate wooden floors- stained with mildew and rot.

The both of them step inside, Gaz closing the door behind them. The vast room is intersected by a stretching hall spanning left to right, with two staircases at the back. Both lead to a balcony on the floor above that overlooks the space below. A chandelier sits fallen in the center- shattered glass scattered everywhere. 

“What do you think happened?” Rianne asks.

“What, to the owner?” Gaz pauses for a moment, ambling into the room further before answering back. “I don’t know. From what I heard, it was some sort of feud between rivals- and not  the romantic kind. Rich highbloods get into all sorts of weird dramatic bullshit, don’t they?

Oooh! Do you think there’s anything cool left behind? Or do y’ think looters got to this place already?”

Rianne just rolls her eyes, following and continuing to look around. “You told me this place is old n’ well known already, so I doubt it. But… look around. Don’t you think it’s weird that there’s no blues or purples? Anything even remotely on that end of the spectrum?”

He stops in his tracks for a moment before continuing. “A little, but that doesn’t mean anything- shit could’ve gotten stolen already… Maybe the guy just had a weird sense of style.”

“... You’ve got me there. I probably wouldn’t’ve built my hive like this…”

Rianne trails off, looking down a hall to her right. Gazram follows her gaze, and looks just as bewildered as she does. The hall is devoid of light other than moonlight filtering through the windows. It seems to stretch on much further than expected; almost seems as if the corridor itself skews and twists towards the end.

“... ‘specially not like this. You seeing that too?”

“Wish I could say I’m not.” he replies simply.

She peers into the shadows further down, hesitating to speak again. “I think I saw something else down there. I… I don’t know. Maybe we should leave?”

Gazram looks dumbfoundedly at her. “Ria, we just got here. You really gonna leave because a creepy abandoned hive is starting to get to you?”

“I just might.” she says.

“C’mon, there’s nothing here. This place is just falling apart at the seams… you really think there’s ghosts here?” he teases. Next thing he knows, she’ll be telling him she believes in magic, too.

Ria puts her hands on her hips, giving her ‘friend’ an unamused look. “No, but I don’t like this either way, asshole.  Y’know what? Have fun by yourself, getting injured in a shoddy building. I’m gonna go wait outside for you to be done with all this.”

Rianne then heads for the door- Gazram deciding to meander towards the twisting hall. “Fine, be that way. Just so you know, you might be waiting awhile.”

“Uh huh. And if I wait more than an hour, I’m leaving your sorry ass here.”

Jiggling the handle again, she remembers that the door is locked- and Gazram shut it the rest of the way. Sighing, she looks down to find that there’s no bolt keeping the door shut- no lock on this side either.

“... Gaz, did you do something to this door? If so, this isn’t funny.”

Turning on his heel to face her again, he gives Rianne a puzzled look. “No?”

The olive walks back over to the entrance, pushing her aside and attempting to open the door- and does so without issue. “See? It’s not even locked. I dunno what your problem is-”

Just as soon as it opens, Gazram is cut off by the door slamming shut of its own accord. The two turn to stare at it, shocked, and Gaz grasps at the handle to try and open it again. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t budge.

“You cannot tell me that was ‘just the wind’-” Ria says, before being interrupted by her friend.

“I’m sor-ry, what do you want me to say? I don’t believe in ghosts, and I’m not about to because a door slammed shut spookily.” He quickly gives up the vain attempts to open it and walks away in a huff. “If the door won’t open, just bust open one of these windows and climb out. The rest are broken anyway.”

“... I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t? You’re not that weak, I know that for a fact-”

“I mean I can’t!” Rianne yells, surprising even herself. After a moment’s pause, she sighs and looks out the window. “I won’t do it. I just… listen. I’m getting a really bad feeling- if we break anything in here, it’s not gonna end well.”

Gazram stares at the cerulean, now returning the unamused look from earlier. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Dead serious,” she hisses, turning to look back at him. “Let’s just… find another way out. There’s bound to be a back door, or hole in the wall somewhere. Fast, preferably.”

“Fine, but we’re going the way I was going to go before you called me over.” 

… Both move down the skewed hall at a slowed pace. The floorboards creak and groan underneath their steps, the sounds echoing throughout the corridor. Out of the several doors they’ve passed, only one was unlocked- leading to an empty room infested with roaches and black mold. 

“You’d think…” Gazram starts, “That with all the time and number of trolls that had to have been here, these doors would be busted open, wouldn’t you?”

Rianne thinks for a moment, putting a hand to her chin. “Yeah, actually. It’s kinda weird, isn’t it? I kinda expected this place to be in worse condition. And this hallway…”

“What about it?”

“Dude, we’ve been walking down it for at least five minutes. It didn’t look that long before, did it? This doesn’t even match what it looked like from the outside.” After saying that, she stops to look behind her.

The hallway stretches on for quite the distance. Back where they had started, Rianne notices a tall, pale troll standing in a long, white dress. After staring a moment, she notices darkened, mustard colored splatters on the dress- and that the figure is staring right back.

Stopping in her tracks, she grabs a hold of her friend’s arm. Whispering for him to look too. Glancing back to see the same, he immediately regrets not believing Ria sooner.

They don’t have a moment to react before a wall springs upwards from the floor and slams against the ceiling, blocking the hall off from the foyer. They jolt from the sudden ‘thud,’ and the first is followed by more as the very corridor itself seems to fold in on itself and shrink.

Still holding his arm, Rianne begins sprinting down the hall dragging Gazram behind her. Despite the collapsing happening behind them, the end never seems to be getting any closer to them. Gasping for breath, the two continue racing onwards- not having any other option.

Finally, she sees a bend to the left. Pulling the olive around the corner, the wall continues advancing- until it slams against the end in an abrupt stop. Ria collapses to the floor, attempting to catch her breath.

“What… the actual fuck… was that??” she says, exasperated. “Suuuure Gaz, tell me the place isn’t fucking haunted! Oooooh, ghosts aren’t real,” Ria continues mockingly, “Then you mind telling me what the hell happened?

And do not tell me we’re hallucinating from… from.. mold spores or any other shitty explanation. I feel pretty sober right now, and I hate it.”

“-Alright! Fine! I don’t know! What do you want, for me to say this was a stupid idea? Then yeah! I agree, this was a fucking stupid idea.” he argues. “How was I supposed to know that there would be fucking… supernatural bullshit happening here?”

Rianne holds her head in her hands, too frustrated and too scared to say anything back to that. Or, anything for a few long moments. But finally, she steels herself- getting off of the floor to stand.

Gazram continues while she does so. “Look. I won’t bother you about superstitious stuff anymore. So let’s just… keep going. Ignore any other weird shit unless it’s actually gonna hurt us, since it looks like our only way out is through.”

Scrubbing her face, Ria sighs and nods. “Yeah. Fine.”

The duo continues along, the end of the corridor being marked with a large set of heavy-looking double doors. More rooms lie along this stretch, with most of them being locked like the rest. Sobbing echoed out quietly from behind them, and neither Rianne or Gazram dared to look back. Not again.

Instead, they both push open the doors at the end, revealing a ruined grand ballroom with a high, vaulted ceiling. Stairs along either side of the wall lead up to another balcony, decorated pillars holding it aloft. It’s mostly empty, save for an old grand piano and a small orchestral stage off to the side. The back wall contains an enormous, elaborate window with two glass doors leading outside- their escape, hopefully.

Not wasting any time, Rianne begins making her way over to the back wall with Gazram following close behind. Upon their entering of the room, music begins playing from the grand piano- despite there being no one there to play. The sudden disturbance only hastens their steps.

Before the cerulean can open the door, both trolls feel a presence directly behind them. No longer off in the distance, stifled weeping can be heard- a voice softly speaking to them.

“Why can’t you just leave me be?”

Ria dares to turn her head back, ever so slowly. She is face to face with a ghastly figure, pale as bone with long, frazzled white hair to match. Her wide, haunted eyes were black like voids with golden irises. Yellow blood streaks and drips from her eyes down her face, stains covering the entirety of the elaborate, yet ruined dress she’s wearing.

“Get out.” the figure finally commands, a forceful gust of wind knocking the patio doors open and shattering them.

No longer frozen with fear, Gazram grabs a hold of Ria’s arm- dragging her with him as he hastily retreats out the open door. Now free of the manor’s walls, the two scramble around and back towards the path that led them here. 

Neither of them really felt like exploring 'haunted buildings' anymore. Or, ever again for that matter.

[simptasia]

Hey! You've probably already made a post for this and if so I'm really sorry, but do you have any LOST post-finale headcannons?

Don’t be sorry! And, yes... yes I do. Including but not limited to:

kate/claire & miles/richard are Things now, my post-finale otps. like, friends to lovers. both pairings eventually married with kids

kate and sawyer stay as friends, I like ‘em better than way

okay All of these friendships and relationships are great and i love them but i have extra delight for miles being besties with kate and claire

i give kate n claire about a year of living together before they get together (time for claire’s recovery, all of kate’s pregnancy (more on that next), an for claire to realise she’s into women, specifically kate. she just had to be exposed to kate’s Bi Aura a while before she got it. and no way was kate gonna make the first move, so claire gotta get the ball rolling with an adorably nervous confession and a tippy toe kiss

ya know that bit when kate and jack bang before they got on the ajira flight? i hc that kate got pregnant from that (the time between that event and the finale is like 2 weeks) and thus kate has jack’s (rip) baby and it’s a boy named david (basically i got that theory that david shephard in limbo was david austen in living life) and kate n claire raise two boys together

claire is also gonna need a lot of therapy/recovery time, she’s not okay

desmond and penny have a daughter and name her danielle in honour of daniel

before miles got on the boat he put a buncha stuff in storage so even with his old place rented out, he’s got something to work with. richard is kinda disorientated by his new life and miles sees that and in a fit of Character Growth induced kindness, offers that he stay with him. hotel rooms at first but its a start. (ken said miles would “take care” of richard post-finale)

i give miles and richard about 3 months of living together before they Smash and also feelings. takes a while for miles to deal with that because he’s not into romantic relationships and love so This Is New For Him. and also richard has his own angst about being in a relationship again AND it’s a guy AND the age difference (150 years). miles legit doesn’t care about that (finds it kinda freaky but is meh) but richard feels weird for some time

i dunno what sawyer and frank are doing (besides being friends to everybody else) but i support them [pops the southern US lads in the corner] y’all be good now ya hear?

oh i mentioned more kids for the next gen, 10 years post finale richard and miles decide to have kids together. claire very kindly offers to be surrogate and they have twin girls, izzie (isabella) and lara alpert-straume

i like to picture kate and miles, post the birth of the twins, having a little bonding moment over how they bother never thought *they’d* become parents. like, miles found the idea of him becoming a dad to be absurd. and kate never thought she’d be a mom. but it happened. fyi all the parents that the post finale entails are great parents because Break The Cycle!!! good parents in lost? it’s more likely than you think!

claire becomes close friends with liam and his family and in turn he considers claire and aaron to be members of the pace family

oh, claire finally listens to driveshaft and she feels really guilty that she thinks their music is awful. but is still fond of it out of love, ya know

claire makes a point of never mentioning thomas. aaron is raised to believe that charlie pace is his biological fatherbecause fuck you thomas nobody likes you. it helps that aaron just looks like claire but a boy (short, blue eyes, blonde) so outsiders wouldn’t be any the wiser. (side note: charlie had asked claire to never tell anybody he’s trans and she’ll keep that promise forever, so outsiders dunno it’s not bio possible). to claire, charlie is aaron’s real dad in spirit due to Love and that’s that

aaron also has a hero worship thing going on with charlie, and david does so with jack too to a lesser degree. this is a result of kate and claire doing a Don’t Speak Ill Of The Dead thing that is common and thus the boys only hear about how great and brave their dads were and never the flaws

hurley, ben, walt and vincent live on the island together but also hurley gives richard powers to ben (by accident, he JUST got his powers) and vincent (on purpose, walt deserves time with his dog)

walt is gonna be the protector after hurley is done

hurley decides he’s done with this once all of his friends have died. he long ago created a mural for All Those We Have Lost and has been adding more and more to it over the years. hurley and ben went to all their funerals too

ji yeon is raised by her grandmother but she’s practically like a daughter to kate and claire

all the kiddos are friends and have known about the crazy magical world they live in all their lives so they’re pretty casual about it

“remember sweethearts, we don’t tell anybody at school about how papa is almost 200 and daddy can talk to ghosts” - richard (later miles and richard have to visit the principal's office because Guess Why)

claire becomes an illustrator for children’s books

penny funds the creation of a scientific education... place called The Daniel Faraday Institute. penny never met her little brother but he saved desmond’s life twice over and was part of bringing her and desmond together so she feels his life deserves honouring (that and i imagine kate and/or miles mentioned That Shit That Went Down with daniel)

eloise visits the opening of this place and needless to say, our squad really doesn’t like her being there. ranging from anger, seething and aching disappointment (last one’s from richard) and miles even tells her to drop dead in his own special way: “i hope i hear from you soon”

i imagine post-finale at lots of points but i like to default to 15 years later (2022) at a party kate n claire decided to throw for the anniversary. hurley, ben, walt and vincent visit (claire drops her plates when she sees that van out front) and it’s like :D :O ???!!!!! and also all the ghosts appear to hurley because now that he’s off island, they wanna see everybody!

fyi i imagine that ghost thing never stopped being a thing for hurley 

before hurley finally does die, the last thing he sees is his death bed surrounded by *everybody who has died*. michael thanks him for taking care of walt. libby kisses him on the cheek. i imagine some other words of encouragement, like jack asking hurley to let go (heh). its all very sweet and sad and most the couples of holding hands (also i imagine this and every time i think i have everybody, i remember even more people!). and then, holding walt’s hand, with vincent beside him, hurley dies

(ending Ghost Time and kickstarting Limbo Time. maybe? i dunno)

[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter One: History

Din Djarin x Reader x a bunch of other star wars characters

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter Warnings: Oof this ones kinda angsty right off the bat- ⚠️ attempted suicide?? Kinda?? Age gap (reader is underage, but don't worry it's just for the sake of backstory and also there's no spicy, so...) mentions of death and afterlife, fluff if you like squint really hard

A/n: hello there... I'm sorry to inflict tumblr with this atrocity, but wattpad had to deal with it so tumblr can too. I wrote a different version of this on my wp with an OC name, but I know that not everyone cares for that so this won't include that. Also this series will be such a slow burn... prepare yourself ahead of time because it's going to be agonizing

Words: 6.3k+

SERIES MASTERLIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Part 1/?

"Pehea gar mar'eyir ni...."

How did you find me....

He came and sat beside me, the sound of metal scraping agaisnt the ground when he knelt first.

"Gar cuyir te shi solus tion'ad comes olar jii.  Ni kar'taylir gar jate'shya gar mirdir Ni vaabir," He responded.

You are the only one who comes here now. I know you better than you think I do.

I heaved a deep breath before letting it out in an exhausted sigh. Speaking in my native tongue was something I always appreciated, but now sitting here it felt nearly uncomfortable, but there was a reason for that.

"I wanted to be alone," The words from my mouth were no longer in my language, and he shifted beside me, trying to convey his confusion without a word.

"Care to elaborate?" He suggested, his asking tone was harsh... but then so was everything else about him.

I didn't really feel like explaning my feelings at the moment. I didn't want to focus on the very thing he was asking about. Even though he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was asking.

"You wouldn't understand if I told you," I trailed off.

"Try me." His voice wasn't any softer, but the sincerity he rarely showed had seeped into his tone.

"I really don't think it's a good idea. You really won't understand, and for all I know you could make things worse off for me than they already are," I didn't like it when he let his guard down around me. I didn't like getting closer to him, even though I was supposed to.

"I can't force you. Whatever it is, I wouldn't get myself too worked up," He sounded hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it was by my words. He was too strong to be wounded by such trivial things.

He moved in his seat, beginning to stand, and for some reason the thought of being alone like I had originally intended seemed like a horrible idea.

I reached out to grip his arm. I kept my gaze forward, knowing that even if I looked at him I could not see his eyes.

"Stay."

He didn't hesitate. He sat down again, and I no longer felt guilt for the hurt in his voice a moment prior.

We sat for a moment in silence, just looking over the cliffside, into the deep canyons that wove in between settlements and encampments of our tribes and clans.

"I don't want this life," I whispered. I had only half hoped he would be paying enough attention to hear me. My voice was soft enough that he might not have.

"What do you mean?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the choice to even say what I did. I felt a shiver go down my arms, and I felt the wind come into the old open cavern, making the air around me chill. My arms were exposed, for I didn't expect the cold tonight. I didn't expect to be here this long.

"I'll turn sixteen in four days. I will either take the creed, or deny everything I've ever been taught. I'd leave if I do that," I finally gave a glance in his direction. He looked back at me, or at least the beskar did. I could never tell where his eyes were.

"You want to leave?" That pained tone of his voice had returned. The one I felt guilty for without actually believing I had done anything to cause it.

I did. I wanted to get off this planet. Away from the responsibility of becoming what everyone expected of me.

"I have to. It's the only way I will ever be at peace, but I'm not sure if I truly have the strength to stand in front of my family and deny the creed."

I could run away. I had some friends who were planning to jump a transport and join the rebellion against the empire.

They had offered me to be apart of this, but I had refused, believing that I would follow in my ancestors footsteps and take the creed. My father had already provided the beskar for my helmet to be made. It was already in the armourer's possession. All that was left was for me to come of age.

"Where did you go, just now?" He noticed my lack of attentiveness to my current reality, and brought me back to where I was. On the drafty cliffside, with my legs hanging over the end.

"Nowhere. I was just thinking about the future," I had admitted. Though I felt the need to stay emotionally distant from him, and not let myself develop a closeness, I knew I could trust him with my life, which is why I even revealed these things to him in the first place.

"What do you think your future will look like?" The tone that brought me guilt had again left his voice, but was replaced by something else... was it fear? I could not even think of theorizing that he could ever be scared. He was one of the bravest in his clan. Never had he shown an ounce of fear to anyone or anything. How stupid of me to even wonder.

"Merc and his crew are gonna stow away on a crate transport tomorrow. He has contact with the rebellion. He said that I could go with them if I was up for it," I looked down, almost embarrassed at admitting a plan of escape to someone so loyal to this place. Even though he wasn't born on this planet, and even though he wasn't a blood member of any tribe, the foundling was more of a mandalorian than I could ever be.

"You've agreed?"

"No. Not yet," I shook my head. I didn't feel like my reasons were valid. Having him sit beside me, and ask me these things made me realize that I needed to explain myself further.

"Din, I want to be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my life under a code that is so restricting to me, binding my every decision. Everything I'd do would have to be following after the creed."

He didn't respond, and even though his features were shrouded under the reflective surface of his beskar, I could tell he was thinking of something.

"I'm not yet sixteen, but when I am... I don't want to be locked down under a piece of metal. I don't want to have to be bound to this planet or a clan. I want to go some place far away and be something that is different than what everyone expects of me. I want to fight battles against the empire, I want to make my own rules. I want to be free to marry who I love, and not be betrothed to whoever my father chooses for me," I finished off my speech about freedom, but realized the last sentence too late. I should have chosen a better set of words.

Din's head hung down, looking at the wrist guards he wore. He shook his head back and forth and before I could interject, he began speaking.

"So that's why...." he trailed off. I was honestly too scared to say anything now. Why must I speak so bluntly and hurtfully honest to people? Perhaps it is because I had never gotten close to him that now I had no fear in what I said to his face.

"If the reason you plan to leave your family is because of me, then-"

"No," I said harshly, catching him off guard. I was usually snippy with others, but I had never before shown a tendency to be angry or intense with my speech. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with you."

"You have always shown enthusiasm towards coming of age. It's only now, when we are arranged, that you show any difference," He brought on certainty in his voice that I nearly couldn't deny, but the truth was... it really wasn't about him. "I can converse with your father, the rest of the clan... I will find a way to break it off if it will make you stay."

"Din, I don't want you to do that. If you don't believe me when I tell you that you are not the cause of this, then so be it, but I will not have you ruining your good name in my favor, when it won't even stop me," The heat of the moment provided actual, physical warmth for me in the time I was running my mouth off, but now that I had finished, and begun to calm down, I felt the freezing air on my arms again, wrapping them around myself and drawing my legs closer to generate more body heat.

"Are you cold?" He changed the subject, needing something- anything else to say.

"Its not exactly warm up here," My voice was low and sarcastic, but at hearing my words, Din stood up and stepped behind me. Before I even had a chance to ask him what he was doing, I felt his thick woolen cape being draped around my shoulders.

I smiled softly, not even a real, full smile. More of just a small tug from the side of my lips. My real smile was saved for later.

"Thank you."

He nodded as he sat back down, letting his legs fall over the cliffside.

"So you're gonna leave with them, aren't you?" His head turned to face me, but I couldn't dare try and stare at the beskar while thinking of what I would do. This choice was the beginning of the rest of my life.

"I think so," I didn't think. Thinking was what I had been doing too much of. Now I was certain. This was my choice. I was going to start new, and become something different. I may have been born on mandalore, but I was definitely not a mandalorian.

I had a rush of confidence come through me until I remembered what this meant. It all hit me like a dropship coming out of hyperspace. What was I thinking?

"No," I whispered. Din didn't understand my sudden discouragement, but he would soon.

"Merc and his friends already denied the creed. He's a foundling. They all are," I started to tear up as I realized what would happen to my family. The loss of a child in a clan is bad enough, but my family hadn't done anything to dessrve this. They were caring. They had shown me love. They had given me the best life I could ask for on a planet with such a religion.

"Second thoughts?" He asked genuinely, scooting closer beside me as to maybe get more information from my body language, or even my breathing.

"I can't do this. My family would be ruined. If I ran away, they would be punished for it," I felt tears coming up in my eyes. My clan was good to me. The people were kind, and I found solace there. Even if I had always dreamt about something bigger, I couldn't bear to let ruin come upon my family name. It wasn't fair to let that happen, especially when the only thing in the way was my own selfishness. "I can't leave my family."

I let the tears stream down my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. The contrast of the cold wind on my hot, tear streaked face had helped to calm me down a little.

"If you plan on staying, you understand that I am apart of your future here, don't you?"

"Din, I already told you before... you are not the reason I want to leave," I tried my best to keep myself together, but with my wet cheeks and red, puffy eyes, I didn't see how that could be an option.

What if there was another way to freedom?

I sat, trying to think of some stories that the other clan members would talk about.

"Din?"

He hummed in response, keeping his gaze on me.

"Has anyone in your clan ever mentioned afterlife?" I maybe should have taken a different approach to this. He seemed to be rendered speechless by my topic of conversation, but I had to ask.

"You mean after death?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I've heard some stories."

I thought about how it had been described to me. A paradise, with never-ending happiness, and unlimted freedom. Freedom.

"After you die, you appear in the world as another life. You can do whatever you want and no one has consequences for any of it. It's like a world without chaos. Everything is perfect," I remember every word as it comes out of my mouth. The words that were spoken to me, more like taught to me when I was a bit younger by the elders who had retired from their days of battle.

"It sounds too easy." He said, ripping me out of my fantasy.

"That's the point. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone, because you can do as you please, and everything will still be the same. All you have to do is die...."

"Like being reborn into a different world."

"Exactly."

I hesitated to take my safety blaster from it's holster under my hip, and when I did, I looked at it before pointing it out in the distance and testing the trigger. It shot a blast of lazer energy out into the air, landing somewhere beneath us in the canyon.

I decided that this was not an act to pursue at the moment, for Din was sitting right beside me, and the sight of watching a young girl pull the trigger against her own head might be an unpleasant one. Even for him, though he has seen worse.

I put the blaster back in it's holster and stand up from the rocky ground. Din follows suit, looking down at me with quiet concern. I wouldn't have known it until now, but I wondered if he had come to care for me at all during these last few weeks we had been betrothed.

I'd known him the majority of my life anyways, so I knew he must have felt some sort of attachment to me, but in what form, I hadn't ever cared to ask.

He kept breathing heavily as he looked down at me for a few moments, and it almost sounded like he wanted to ask me something. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words.

"Here's your cape back," I slid the material off my shoulders, trying to hand it back to him, but he pushed it back towards me.

"You should keep it for now. The sun is nearly down, it will only grow colder."

He reached his gloved hand up to my face, and I could swear I felt the warmth of his hand beneath the coarse leather.

I only nodded, and leaned forward, trying to lean my head into him, but he carefully stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. Instead he rested his helmet against my forhead, and the cold beskar wasn't such a bad feeling as it rested there.

"I won't let you down. I promise." He said, clueless of my plans for later tonight, after the tribes were asleep, and no one would be at the cliffside.

"I know you won't. You're a good man, Din Djarin." I paused, trying to gather better words. "A true Mandalorian if there ever was one."

The moment didn't last any longer because of how frigid the air was becoming. It was warmer back with the tribes, they always had a fire burning.

Without another word, we both left the old artillery cavern and hiked down the side of the canyon to get back to our own clan territory.

Once I was at the edge of mine, I turned around to utter a simple goodbye, and found that he was very close behind me. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it.

Maybe this was the last time we would see each other. Tonight I would envoke my plan to freedom, to rebirth. Perhaps we would meet in another life. Perhaps I would have just enough memory of this life to try and find him in the next one. One where I will have freedom.

Tonight I had gotten closer to the metal clad Mandalorian than I ever had before. I didn't regret it. He listened to what I had to say, and there were few who ever did.

His hand fell from it's place on my shoulder, but I didn't let him walk away yet. I pulled him into an embrace, feeling him tense up for a moment before reciprocating. It took him a few seconds to let out the breath he was holding in, but when he did, he found himself relaxing into the comfort.

"Goodbye, Din," My voice wasn't sad, or overly sensitive in any way. I figured it actually sounded quite optimistic.

"You know I'll see you tomorrow." He said, reminding me of the clan meetings. Once a month the clans would gather and each tribe would go over the agenda for whatever was to happen soon. Battles were normally discussed, but tomorrow, me and a few of the others in the other clans would be talked about. Our ceremonial coming of age where we would take the creed.

"Yeah... right. Don't come looking for me, I don't plan on showing up," I said quietly, careful in anyone was to hear me.

He pulled me back at arms length and looked at me, but his black blast shield hid his features and I could not tell if he thought I was crazy or not.

"How come?" His voice was also quiet, as we noticed some of my clan passing by to get to the fire.

"Don't worry about it. You'll still see me tomorrow," I lied. Or did I? Everyone within the five neighboring tribes would probably see me tomorrow.

He nodded, pulling us all the way apart and stepping back.

"Good."

He didn't look like he was gonna walk away until I had gone into the hub of my clan's small village. I turned around and walked towards the large fire, seeing my mother. Her helmet was unmistakable. The pattern of the strill engraved into the side of the beskar. It was her signet. A worthy kill of her days in battle. I would never have one. I walked towards her when she noticed me.

Her modulated voice let out a small chuckle, before I stepped beside her.

"It is well to see you spending time with Din Djarin. Me and your father were afraid you may not have been fond of him," She kept her gaze on the fire, speaking only loud enough for me to hear her, given that the other mandalorians of our village were also gathering around the fire, conversing with each other the same way we were.

"I am fond of him, why would I not be?" I was unsure of what she meant. Sure, I had been keeping a distance between us since my father had arranged our marriage, but I never had shown that I wasn't fond of him. I was polite, and gave him attention when it was asked of me.

"Whenever I or your father bring up the discussion of your eighteenth birthday, you always seem to act like it's the plague," She was smirking under her helmet, and I could tell. I could always tell what face she made underneath her metal covering.

"Maybe it's the fact that I dread getting married at all. I'm not opposed to Din, though," I convinced her. I wouldn't have to try and do that again after tonight.

"Whatever it is, your father will be pleased to know you and him were in each other's company. Although I will stray from telling him you two were alone... you were alone, weren't you?" She turned her metal covered head, trying to figure out from the look on my face.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, knowing there was no point in lying. No damage could be done at this point, except for maybe towards Din.

"And what were you both doing?" She tilted her head, and I let mine drop. I would tell her the truth, because nothing bad could come from it. Or could it.

"We were just talking... about the future," I answered.

"Your marriage..." She suggested, and I nodded, knowing that it did come up in the conversation.

"Yes."

"I shudder to ask if consummating was apart of this conversation," She looked back at the fire, knowing how red my cheeks would turn and how embarrassed I would be.

"No, nothing like that. I can promise you," I shivered at the thought. Din was a good man, but I didn't necessarily need to be letting thoughts like that intrude my mind.

Everyone else around the fire seemed to be distracted by the glowing flames, and my mother was soon the same, so I suggested my absense.

"I'm going to go in for the night, get some rest. Big meeting tomorrow..." I said before reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly.

She nodded to me, and I took my leave, walking towards our living quarters on the opposite side of camp.

I wasn't looking where I was going, and brushed my shoulder against Merc, who was with Gander and Shyloh.

"Sorry, didn't see you coming," I told him, but he shook his head, optiing ti ask me a question instead.

"Don't worry about it, I was looking for you anyway... Did you think about the offer? We leave at sunrise on the north delivery tarmac," He informed me, but I didn't have an answer. I wasn't staying here, but I wasn't leaving either.

"You'll know if I show up," I gave him a smirk, partially just because I was glad to see someone's actual face tonight, and not just a metal facade.

"We can't wait up for you, just know that."

I nodded, letting them get by. Maybe I could go with them. Live this life freely without starting another one.

No.

My family will not be able to handle that. It's better off if I'm dead. At least they won't go on to believe that I betrayed them, turning my back on all loyalty they had ever taught me. They would nevwr wonder if I ever loved them or planned on keeping their wishes.

I could start fresh. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And I wouldn't have to worry anymore either. Rebirth.

I went straight to bed, clutching the woolen blanket beside me close to my chest.

For some reason I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. Something that made the sting of salty tears swell in my eyes. I knew that what I was doing was best, but yet I started having a hard time justifying something so drastic. They would get on fine without me, wouldn't they? They would go on living by the creed. This is the way. They will find a way to go on without me, like they did before I was born. Din will be arranged with another girl as soon as I'm gone. Everything will be alright.

The wetness that spilled over my eyes and down my face lasted hours, even though my mind kept telling itself that it was at peace.

It was in the dead of night, when I gathered a few of my belongings into a knapsack, throwing it over my shoulder before leaving out the tattered window of my private space.

I ventured to the canyon, with the moons lighting my way. The planet was never truly dark, due to the brightness and the number of shinning moons, all the color silver.

I set my knapsack down on the edge beside me. By the end of this, I would be at the bottom, waiting to be found the next day. I just hoped it wouldn't be anyone I knew. Of course, the number of people who ever came out here was only two. Me, and Din Djarin.

I hoped he wouldn't find me. I hoped it would be someone from another tribe that was flying over, and happened to spot something at the base of the cliffside.

I pulled my flask to my mouth, taking a large drink. A bit spilled onto my chin, and I wiped it off, feeling the breeze on my face. It was much colder now than earlier tonight. I wasn't sure if I should pull the blanket from my belongings and wrap it around myself, or skip the process of making myself comfortable and just get this over with.

I leaned over, looking straight at the ground, hundreds of feet below me. My heart started racing, and I got scared. Why shouldn't I be? I have every right to be absolutely terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to scoot myself over the edge inch by inch, seeing if I would just drop.

I nearly panicked when my bottom hit a crack in the ground and I thought I was going over. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly pulled myself back.

"This isn't as easy as I thought it would be," I murmered, beginning to feel the emotional side of everything rise to the surface again. It didn't help that with the absolute silence that circled around me, I couldn't have any single thing to distract me.

I stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself to ease the goosebumps rising on my skin from the frigid air.

I stood right on the edge, lifting a foot over and leaning forward, but before I could fall, I again caught myself, the adrenaline working overtime in my system and beginning to heat me up.

That wasn't going to work either. If I could, I would put a blaster to my temple and pull the trigger, but then it wouldn't look like an accident.

I paced around back and forth a few times, trying to calm myself down, to stop the whimpering and to make my tears cease. It wasn't working. I just needed to get this over and done with. A new life, with endless possibilities was waiting for me on the other side. Freedom was on the other side.

I wiped my face, even though it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped me to see clearer. I backed up, into the cavern, all the way inside until my back hit the wall of the ex artillery carvern. This was it. A new beginning. Rebirth. New life. Freedom.

I ran as fast as I could toward the edge, my eyes closed. I could feel the wind blowing against me even harder with my speed, and I could tell the edge was drawing near. Every step I took, I felt as though it was my last one.

I finally felt my foot hit the edge, but then I never fell. Instead, I was tackled to the ground. Whoever landed on top of me was heavy enough to hold me down, because half of me was hanging off the edge of the cliff.

I didn't dare even open my eyes. This was a sign. Someone stopped me.

I clinged onto whoever it was, and knew almost instantly who was laid over me when I heard him groan.

I cried even harder, my head buried in his armor clad chest, and my arms around his neck and his torso.

He was holding me tightly, one hand cradled my head into his neck, and the other firmly gripped my waist. He rolled us both over and I swear I felt him shaking.

"What were you thinking?" He stressed, his grip on me tightening as if he was scared to let go. I was scared too. I didn't want him to let go.

"You have to talk to me..."

I heaved a deep breath, deep enough to steady my voice so my whimpering didn't interfere with my words.

"I want out. I need to get out," I cracked in the middle of saying so few words, but they conveyed the message I was trying to get through.

"I can get you out, I promise.... But please don't ever try that again," His voice was full of worry, and as I suspected, he was trembling in fear.

"I'm sorry..." I cried some more, realizing that what I had done was now the biggest mistake I ever made, even if I was saved.

"It's okay. You're okay. I've got you," He spoke to me, my voice quieting down as my sobbing came to a slow halt.

I lifted my face from where I had burrowed it into his neck, looking up at him. I didn't know what his expression was, but something told me it was fearful, and worrysome.

"I have to get out of here," I repeated again. The last day or so it became my mantra, and would leave my lips often, even just to myself. Mostly just to myself.

"You're going to. You're going with Merc... when are they leaving?" He asked, his arms still around me like mine were for him.

"At sunrise. They're gonna jump a delivery ship on the north tarmac," I explained, my voice was now hoarse and thick, due to not only all the crying I had done, but also the cold night air that had entered my lungs.

"Sunrise isn't for a few hours..." he let me know, and I nodded, knowing we shouldn't probably leave yet, for the walk to the north tarmac wasn't very long from here.

"Din, if I leave, my family is going to get the fire for my decision. I can't let that happen," I told him, my voice had become more firm, and I needed to convey the importance of how much this meant to me.

"I give you my word, that as long as I live, nothing will happen to your family," He swore, and I could just feel his eyes staring into mine. So much so that for the first time since he put that helmet on, I knew where his eyes were.

"I trust you. And I know that you'll always keep your word," I nodded, a small smile finally forming on my face.

Since it got fairly quiet, and we were still entangled together,  I scooted off of Din and opted instead to take the seat beside him.

"I should tell you some things before I go. I just don't want to leave anything unresolved," I admitted, and he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I know this might sound horrible, but I hated the idea of getting too close to you. It was like if I had formed an emotional bond with you, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore. And the last thing on my mind had been to stay. I've wanted freedom for a while now, I was just always too scared to say anything. And when my father told me that you and him had come to an agreement for arranging a marriage.... it's like it all became more real to me. My freedom would be taken in just days. The creed of mandalore is sacred, and it's truly an amazing thing... but it isn't for everyone."

He sat and took everything in. All the words that just spewed from my mouth like I had been holding them in for ages went against everything I had ever learned. Everything that had ever been put into my mind was the opposite of what I wanted.

"You're young. You want more than what the creed can offer you. I think you'll be able to find what you want wherever you're going," He said, I knew there was more, for he didn't even mention anything that I had said about not wanting to be close to him, but when he stayed silent, I knew he was finished, and that I still had more to say.

"Din, I wanted to tell you that if I had to be married, I wouldn't have minded it being you," I admitted. I would leave no stone unturned before I was to just pick up and leave forever... maybe not forever, maybe someday I would return to my family, to Din.

"I can't say I don't feel the same," He seemed to become stiff next to me, but I soon found the reason when he suddenly reached for my hand with his gloved one.

I took it proudly, intertwining our finhers together.

"You know, I was only an eight year old kid when you took the creed. I have so many memories of you yourself, but whenever I recall them... I can't see your face. I've completely forgotten what you look like," I laughed a bit, though it was quite a sad thing actually. I could not remember him in a way that wasn't covered in metal. I remembered that he was a boy once, and that he would play with all the younger children in the clan set next to his. He played with me and the kids I lived next to. He was a lively, energetic boy. Always doing something... sometimes causing mischievous acts. He was so different now. But the change wasn't bad. Since he'd taken the creed he has been the most noble, fearsome, and trustworthy member of his clan. Completely honorable in every sense of the word.

"I don't look like I used to. It wouldn't do you any good to remember anyways," He chuckled under his helmet, and it brought a smile to hear the melodic sound.

"Well, if I'd stayed long enough to marry you I would find out for myself," I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling comfort by his presence. If I had made the absolute decision to leave this planet earlier, I could have let myself grow a relationship with him. Romantic or not, he was easy to talk to, and I trusted him. He was a friend to me, and I never imagined more, but now his presence was just something that put me at such ease.

"Do you think you'll ever come back?" He pondered, seeing as just the tiniest moonrays shown down into the canyon ahead.

"Someday. I'll comeback and repay you."

"For what?"

"Saving my life," I replied. My attempt to throw my own life away had been pushed away but I had to bring it up. I owed him my life.

"Anyone would have done the same if they had seen," He insisted, and I shook my head.

"How did you even know I was out here?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked for an explanation.

"I couldn't sleep, I took a walk through Ronion until I found myself here. I saw you across from the mesa on the south side... I saw you lift your foot over the edge, I knew what you were trying to do," He said, his grip on my hand got tighter almost instantly.

"Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would be at the bottm of this canyon." I let so much seriousness onto my voice, and it didn't sound like me.

"Don't thank me yet... not until I get you on the tarmac,"

We sat in silence after that, just looking out over the horizon. When the slightest bit of light hit the edge of the planet, we stood to our feet, gathering my knapsack and begining the journey to the north delivery tarmac.

We were there in no time, and before I could even look for them, Merc and his crew were in sight. They were all sitting with their backs against some cargo imports, waiting for the transport to arrive.

"Well, well, well... look at what the shriek hawk dragged in," Shyloh said, gesturing to me and Din.

"Djarin, I didn't expect to see you here," Merc raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"I'm just here to make sure she gets onto the transport safely," He assured them. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and in the brighter horizon I was able to see a cargo ship coming into the landing area.

"Our rides here," I said, and they all jumped up. Since the ships were automatically run, and don't even require droids, it was often very easy to hop aboard and be carried to another destination. Of course, there were only a few who ever wanted to leave.

I myself hadn't ever left Mandalore, neither had I traveled much even on the planet. Only a few trips to visit the the markets with my father. I never even went into the city, for it was told that in the city lived Mandalorians who did not keep the creed. The tribes were convinced that they hadn't actually ever taken the oath, and just wore the armor for the sake of doing it.

The ship's doors opened, pulling me out of my thoughts, and a conveyer belt folded down to let the cargo units be carried out onto the tarmac for later pickup.

"Alright, it's time to head out," Gander said, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and boarding the transport.

The rest followed after him, but I still had one thing left to do. 

Din looked at me, waiting for me to join the others, but I came close to him one last time.

"You promise my family will be taken care of?" I asked, to which he simply answered with a firm nod. However the look on my face gave him reason to believe that his answer wasn't good enough, so he spoke instead.

"I give you my word. If they are not taken care of, I will let you strike me dead where I stand."

That was good enough for me. He truly meant it. He was a man of his word.

I pulled his head toward mine, resting ny forehead against his in a traditional mandalorian kiss. I pulled back when I heard my name being called from the transport.

"Goodbye, Din Djarin," I told him.

He didn't respond, he just let me go, watching intently as I boarded the ship before the doors closed.

The cargo transports were always on schedule, so as soon as the doors closed, it began lifting into the air. I looked out through the transparent view finder on the side, watching him stand as we began moving out of sight.

"You gonna miss him?" Shyloh asked, his brows furrowing as if he were sorry for me.

"Yes, I suppose I will."

I lost sight of Din, and realized we were leaving the atmosphere most likely preparing for a jump to hyperspace.

"But I'll see him again."

.

.

Tags are open ig...

A/n: please don't get too caught up in the age gap y'all it's just for backstory purposes because this story is eventually going to follow canon events.... (also i know that this doesn't really portray Mandalore correctly, but let's pretend it does because i had this idea)

[elenamiria]

The Jedi

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

Rating: 18+ Word Count: 4.8k Summary:  (Direct sequel to this maul x reader fic) After the events of the day you have to reconcile what happened with your master. Obi-Wan for a change expresses himself through actions instead of words  Warnings: Master and Padawan relationship (Padawan is of age and I never write with the thought that the master has known them for a long time or since they were not of age), mentions of bruises and bite marks, Fem reader, oral (fem recieving), piv sex, unprotected sex, creampie, inappropriate use of the force Masterlist -- Tags (send an ask or message me if you’d like to be added):  @fishswimbetterunderwater  @a-dorin @blxwjobsforclones @lynnie51 @katrynec  @mistermiraclee @theelvenvalkyrie @crazycatladyjenga​ @stonegoldsecret-v2​  @blackirisposts​

You paced around the room aimlessly as you waited for your master to show up, nothing to distract you from your thoughts. You tried to squash down the fear inside you for what lay ahead not wanting to add to your already long list of un-Jedi like behavior from that day. When the sudden noise of a second set of footsteps joined yours you froze. The sounds grew to a thunderous level in your head before silence fell through the room, your back was to the entrance and a pit formed in your gut as you slowly turned around. Obi-Wan stood there in his usual attire, looking as composed as ever and yet as his cerulean eyes took in your form you felt yourself tremble under his gaze. You were the first to break the silence with a quiet, "I'm sorry," not knowing what else to say.

Obi-Wan shifted and took an audible inhale, the breath catching in his chest before he could say anything. His exhale was equally as loud as he shook his head, looking away briefly, your heart was in your stomach as you felt tears gather in your eyes. When his gaze turned back to you he noticeably softened as he called out to you, "Oh no, none of that. Come here darling."

His arms opened and in seconds you were across the room slamming into him and pulling him close to you. Obi-Wan returned your tight embrace one hand coming to grasp the back of your head firmly as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his other arm firmly wrapped around your waist. You weren't even aware that you were crying until you gasped for air and Obi pulled away enough that he could cup your face softly. His thumb brushed away your tears as his eyes roamed your face, "It's alright, I'm here, it's ok."

You bit your lip as you took deep breaths mimicking his breathing in an attempt to calm yourself. Once you had stopped your tears Obi-Wan offered you a toothy smile and your eyes darted to his mouth before locking eyes with him.

"You aren't angry with me?" You questioned hesitantly, almost afraid to hear the answer. Obi's countenance darkened for just a second, you would have missed it if you did not know him so well, before switching back to a more neutral look - though he couldn't hide the relief in his eyes.

"No little one, I'm not angry with you. I am relieved that Maul didn't hurt or kill you...I don't know what I would have done." Obi-Wan's admission came a surprise to you, though it was obvious the both of you cared about each other a great deal it wasn't a fact the two of you often discussed. Especially when your feelings for him ran far deeper than a simple master and padawan bond should. You offered Obi-Wan a small smile as he continued, "We can deal with what happened here later, for now let's get you back to the ship."

His words gave you pause as you remembered the whole reason for being on-planet in the first place, for a moment you panicked as you gasped out, "The troopers!"

Obi once again soothed you, his hand slipping down your spine to rub gently at your back, "They're fine, they contacted me when you didn't make contact with them and they all have been picked up and are back on the capital ship. I had come down myself with a few men to look for you when you..."

Trailing off Obi-Wan abruptly pulled away from you, his face red, as he cleared his throat and straightened up, nodding towards the door, "Like I said we can discuss that later. Why don't we go back to the ship for now."

The speeder ride back to the troopers was silent and awkward, as was the ride back to the main ship. Obi was quick to escort you back to your quarters and away from prying ears, something which you were immensely grateful for. When you entered your room there was another spot of silence until both of you were speaking at once, “I don’t know how it happened and I-”

“You moaned my name. Twice.” Obi-Wan’s words intercut with yours and you froze as your brain processed what he was saying. Eyes wide you sputtered for a moment until you managed to spit out a lame, “Yes.”

You could see Obi-Wan’s cheeks reddening through his well groomed beard and you felt your own face heating as well. Looking down at the ground you mumbled, “I did. I- when I heard your voice all I could think about was you and I....”

Trailing off you really hoped he understood what you were going for and didn’t ask you to elaborate. A surprised little ‘oh’ left Obi-Wan’s mouth before he cleared his throat and questioned, “Have you thought about...you and I before those moments?”

You were sure his question was innocent, there was no way Obi-Wan felt the same way you did. He had never shown any outward interest - always the picture perfect Master, however you felt shame rising in you at the sheer amount of times you had thought about Obi in that light. You nodded and heard Obi-Wan take a deep breath before letting out a long sigh, it was then that it all became too much. You didn’t want to hear his rejection of you and you didn’t want to hear another lecture about the ways of the order, and you especially didn’t want to have to talk about having fucked your Master’s worst enemy. Instead you glanced at Obi-Wan muttering, ‘I need a shower,’ and fleeing to the bathroom.

The mirror was finally defogging from your extremely long and probably too hot, but much needed, shower. You stared at your appearance in the mirror, fingers brushing over the faint bruises blossoming on your hips, only just noticeable, before you tugged your underwear up. The room was hot from your near scalding shower but you pulled a spare undershirt over your body anyway. Your fingers lingered on your neck, 3 large marks decorating the skin there and you sighed lightly. The shirt did little to conceal the marks and so you tugged on the robe you had thrown on the floor earlier, pulling it tight around your body. A knock on the door startled you from your thoughts and you responded with a short “Come in.”

Attempting to find something to busy yourself with you found yourself picking at imaginary dirt from under your fingernails. Obi-Wan’s call of your name had your eyes darting to meet his in the mirror. Your breath hitched at his face etched with worry.

“Are you sure your alright little one? I-I know you said you were alright but it would make me feel better if I could check you for injuries myself.”

Your eyes hardened for just a second, fully prepared to say no, but the pure desperation you found in his eyes had you giving in. Giving him a short nod you whispered, “go ahead,” so quietly Obi-Wan nearly missed it. Looking down at the floor you slowly turned to face him, his hands landed on your arms trailing down to lace fingers with you. A soft squeeze had you finally glancing up to meet Obi’s eyes. Though just moments ago looking him in the eye had seemed terrifying now that your gaze locked with his it was the only thing convincing you that everything was going to be alright. 

You were the one who unclasped your robe, shrugging it off your shoulders and allowing it to fall to the ground again. Obi-Wan’s breathing stuttered as he caught a glimpse of your neck, his fingers immediately hovering over the marks almost touching them. His hands dropped quickly as he seemingly realized they were made by Maul’s mouth and a displeased look covered his face. Obi’s eyes trailed down your body and his hands settled on the hem of your shirt. When you gave him a slight nod his palms began sliding up your shirt baring your upper thighs to him, once the shirt made it over your hips he paused. Blue eyes picked up on the faint marks on your hips and his fingers brushed over your left side causing a small hiccup in your breathing as your face heated at his tender touch. Obi-Wan’s eyes darted to your face and he whispered out, “Does that hurt little one?”

You nodded and Obi-Wan started to bend down as if he was going to examine it further until you spoke, “It’s not necessarily the bad kind of hurt though. It’s uh, more just sore.”

You offered, not wanting him to trouble himself over something so insignificant. However Obi-Wan continued his path downwards and as he settled on his knees in front of you a teasing glint entered his eyes as he questioned, “So, you don’t want me to kiss it better?”

Your jaw dropped at his brazen words, face burning hot as a squeak escaped you. Swallowing deeply you glanced down at your master while he stared expectantly up at you, waiting for a response. You nodded again though all that earned you was a slight head tilt and you pouted lightly realizing that you would actually have to admit what you wanted. Taking a deep breath your hand reached over to cup his cheek, fingers brushing through his scruff lightly as you breathily requested, “Kiss it better, please Obi-Wan.”

Your words came out a bit more sensually than you had planned but with the way Obi-Wan’s eyes darkened you couldn’t find it in you to care. Obi’s eyes trailed back down to his target, a spot just above where your panties ended, and suddenly he was pressing forward and placing a hot open mouthed kiss the the bruised area. A gasp flew from you as Obi-Wan suckled lightly at the affected area, sending a pleasurable shiver down your spine. His tongue lapped gently in between sucking and experimentally he nipped at the area causing a startled yelp to fill the room. As Obi-Wan made his way down the area, beard scratching at your stomach and leaving your hips to buck unconsciously, his hands slid to your ass - groping firmly. His mouth made its way to hover just over your clothed and absolutely soaked pussy. Taking a moment Obi-Wan looked up at you once again as he cooed out, “And what about here, darling? Are you sore here too?”

Truth be told you were sore from the thorough fucking that you had received from the former sith lord but there was a part of you that was aching for this so strongly that you couldn't hold back any longer. Gliding your hands to your panties you grasped the edges and pulled them off, muttering sweetly, “I bet you could make my cunt feel so much better Obi-Wan, it’s aching for you.”

Obi audibly choked at your words, his hands settling on your thigh as he guided your legs open and exposed your slick swollen lips to him. A low groan slid from his throat as he took in just how soaked you were for him and you caught the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Moments later it was you who was letting out a groan as Obi-Wan flattened his tongue and licked a broad stroke up your lips, catching on your clit and causing your legs to tremble. Repeating the motion Obi took in your taste, your freshly bathed scent, everything about you that he could take in he did - desperate for every part of you. As he repeated the long lick a third time his hands squeezed your thighs gently and before you knew it Obi-Wan was diving in, lapping and sucking at your clit like a man starved. You cried out, partially in surprise partially in pleasure, and your hand buried in his hair as bliss shot through your body. 

Your hips canted towards him unconsciously, enraptured with the pleasure you were receiving and delighting in the way his scruff rubbed against you. The way you continually ground against his face along with the perfect little whimpers and whines you were causing Obi-Wan to harden, cock swelling with need, desperate for you. As he continued his ministrations one of his hands left your thigh to grasp at his aching length over his pants, needing some form of contact. When his hand left you, curiously you had looked down and you could immediately tell what was going on. 

Your breath hitched and though Obi had worked you up so close to reaching your peak you decided there was another place you’d rather cum. Reaching down you tugged lightly on his hair urging him away from your dripping lips with a cry of his name to draw his attention to you. His dazed expression almost tipped you right over the edge - his beard and lips glistening with your juices, the way his tongue darted out to clean his lips, and the way he stared up at you like you held all the stars in the galaxy. A breathless smile covered your face as you guided Obi to stand again and crashing your lips together once again. His arms were wrapped around you in and instant, pulling you close as if he were worried you would disappear. You could taste your tang on his lips and on his tongue when you parted your lips for him, the taste combined with his causing you to whimper into his mouth. When you finally broke apart with a soft moan you trailed your hand down to stroke his cock as you pleaded, “Please fuck me, Obi.”

A deep pleased rumble left Obi-Wan’s chest and he captured your hand to tug you out of the bathroom to the small bed within your quarters. Sitting down on the bed he tugged you onto his lap, legs on either side of his thighs and your cunt just barely brushing his bulge. Obi kissed you soft and sweet this time while your hands made quick work of undoing his breeches to tug his thick length out. As you hands brushed against his cock Obi-Wan let out a strangle sort of groan as his head jerked back, eyes squeezing shut for just a moment. His reaction had your lips parting before curving into a soft smirk and you ran your fingers up and down the length of his rigid dick, eyes watching his reactions intently wanting to commit each one to memory. After a particularly needy gasp of your name you took mercy on your master and lined his tip up with your entrance, your hips brushed back and forth slightly, coating his tip in your juices before you sank down onto him. The first few inches took your breath away and you could tell Obi-Wan was feeling it too as his hands landed firmly on your hips. You let out a small hiss as his hands squeezed over the bruised areas and quickly he relocated his hands to your waist with an apology. Your hands landed on his shoulders and you gave them a squeeze as you whispered out, “It’s alright Obi-Wan.”

Taking a few deep breaths you raised yourself up slightly before sinking back down onto the hard cock below you, taking a little more of him into you each time you repeated the motion. When you felt like you could take him all you allowed yourself to sit hard on his length and he bottomed out deep within you. Your walls fluttered hard around him as you nuzzled into his neck, smothering the moans that flew from your mouth. Obi’s hands tightened as he breathed out your name and swearing seconds later when you clamped down on him. As you adjusted to the feeling you slowly started to grind your hips against his, whimpering while his cock brushed up against your most sensitive spots. Gasps filled the air as both of you took in the pleasure and you leaned back in order to start bouncing on Obi-Wan’s length. 

Your Master guided you, using his hands to help you keep your rhythm, and this time he was burying his face in your neck. He left light kisses and gentle nips over the areas where Maul’s teeth had bruised, soft and gentle where Maul was rough. Obi-Wan didn’t seek to mark you as his only to soothe and comfort, he hoped to let you know that it was alright and that he still loved you despite what had happened. His softness had your walls clenching at every brush of his beard and every time his lips touched your neck, it was all so overwhelming you found you were barely able to keep your pace. Obi-Wan must have sensed your struggle as he lifted you off of him, despite your protests, in order to lay you down on the bed below him. Settling in front of you he lined back up with your entrance while your legs wrapped around his hips - urging him forward. A light laugh filled the air as Obi-Wan smiled down at you and teasingly chided, “Patience, little one.”

You couldn’t help the pout that covered your lips until Obi-Wan leaned forward to kiss it away. You giggled softly against his lips, unable to stay annoyed with him especially when he was kissing your thoughts away. His hand that wasn’t holding his weight found the edge of your shirt and slid under it, forging a path up your stomach and sternum before settling on your breasts. Gasping as Obi-Wan’s lithe fingers tweaked at your nipple he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth while you arched your back below him. In the midst of this Obi’s hips finally relented and his cock prodded at your entrance before you reached down to angle him properly so as he shifted forward his cock pushed into your depths. 

Your cunt clenched around his tip desperate for more and Obi-Wan was happy to oblige, pressing forwards as he he broke apart from your lips to sit up straight. His hips thrust forward the rest of the way until his hips were flush with yours and you were both sighing in pleasure. You whimpered under him and bucked your hips with a soft cry of his name, Obi-Wan smiled down at you as his hips dragged backwards. The slow pull of his cock against your sensitive entrance had you whining below him as your hips chased after his only to loudly cry out when his hips snapped forward again. He repeated these slow drags and quick thrusts for several long minutes until you were writhing beneath him, babbling and pleading for more. Obi-Wan teased until a cry of, “Master, Please!”, left your lips and he finally caved. 

Your words had him growling out your name as his hips sped up to a steady rhythm, the sounds of him dicking you down filling the air. His grip on your waist tightened slightly as his cock pounded away and you were shocked by the fast pace he had set. You had expected Obi-Wan to want to take things slow but after all the buildup it seemed he was as desperate for you as you were for him. His grip on your waist had pulled your shirt tight against your body showing off the way your tits bounced on every thrust into your slick cunt. Obi’s eyes were trained on them and his hips sped up as he adjusted his grip, one hand fisting your shirt to keep it tight while his other grabbed one of your tits. Squeezing softly he ran his thumb over your peak, quickly finding your nipple and rolling it between two fingers, causing it to stiffen and for a squeak to fly from your lips. Your hand shot down to your clit as a deep thrust hit something that had you seeing stars and your orgasm fast approached while Obi toyed with your nipples. Panting your fingers rubbed tight circles on your clit until both your arms were wrenched over your head and pinned there by unseen hands. Obi-Wan’s use of the force had your walls tightening around him as he growled out, “Let me take care of you little one.”

His hand which had been wrapped in your shirt slid down your tummy to find your clit, mimicking you movements and rubbing in tight circles that had you crying out for more. Your hips bucked in time with his thrusts as his cock slammed into you over and over. You were so close to tipping over the edge and your eyes met Obi-Wan's as you simpered out, “Obi, please I’m so close. I need you Obi.”

Shifting his weight his pace slowed as his arm slid under your body to grasp at the back of your neck and he leaned down, his chest pressing into yours as his lips captured yours. His adjusted position allowed him to press deeper into your tight cunt, once again brushing up against your g-spot and hitting it consistently on each thrust. He swallowed down your cries as you tipped over the edge, pussy spasming and clenching around his length, his fingers working you through the orgasm. Your chest expanded as you wiggled below him, pressing the two of you together impossibly close, and you whined into his mouth as his fingers continued toying with your clit, prolonging your pleasure. Muttering a protest against his lips at the overstimulation you were silenced by him pulling back just enough to whisper, “It’s alright darling, I have you. You can give me one more, I know you can do it my good girl.”

His words sent a heavy aftershock through your body and your walls fluttered much to Obi-Wan’s delight as he let out a light moan. His slow, sensual pace continued and your cunt squeezed constantly around his length as the stimulation on your little bundle of nerves got to be too much. Your hands clenched, fingers digging into your palm, as you attempted to smother your noises as they grew in both frequency and volume the closer you got to your second orgasm. As Obi slammed into you particularly hard you couldn’t hold back the blissed out noise that slipped between your lips as your eyes unfocused for a brief moment. Obi-Wan repeated the motion causing the same reaction as you lost yourself in the pleasure, Obi grunting as you clamped down on him.

“You like that little one? Want me to fuck you like that until you cum for me darling?” He questioned, continuing the same motion and increasing his speed without waiting for a response. Though it was just as well since you were fairly incapable of responding to him as your eyes glazed over and you cried his name out as you were swept up in your second release. As if determined to blind you with pleasure Obi’s fingers sped up against your clit, rubbing furiously and causing your whole body to tighten - spiraling higher and higher until it was all too much and your body went limp. You felt a rush of liquid as you gushed around his thick cock and the obscene squelching noise that filled the air as your Master fucked you through your orgasm caused an embarrassed moan to escape you. The slick tickled at your clit and soaked his fingers, which he finally removed from your aching nub, and you whimpered when you felt it slide down your asshole to land on the bed. At the feeling your weak cunt clenched and Obi thrust a few more times, until he stilled deep within you as he reached his own peak. His cum shot out in ribbons, painting your walls and filling you up more than you thought possible. As he came inside you up his grip on your hands through the force faltered and your arms were free, instantly clinging to his shoulders as soon as you realized you could move, tugging him to you for a soft kiss. 

The two of you lay together for a long moment, him nuzzling into your neck and you laying there thoroughly exhausted as you stroked his hair gently, arms still wrapped around his shoulder. Obi-Wan was the first to move with a regretful groan as he separated from your heat, you flinched as he withdrew and for the second time in 24 standard hours you felt cum sliding from your sated pussy. A whimper left you but you were far to exhausted to do anything about it, not even noticing that Obi-Wan had disappeared to grab a warm damp cloth along with a meal bar and water. Having removed his outer layers he came back with just his undershirt and underwear on as he knelt by the edge of the bed. Tenderly he moved your legs so he could clean up the mess of your combined cum in slow gentle strokes. When he was finished he helped you sit up in order to eat and drink, sliding back onto the bed behind you and his arms winding around you waist. You eased back into him with a contented sigh and he accepted your glass and trash, laying them on the floor, when you were finished. The two of you maneuvered until you were comfortable, Obi-Wan laying on his back with an arm tugging you close while you used his chest as a pillow and pressed yourself to his side. After all the recent events your brain was running a mile a minute and yet you could barely keep your eyes open. Drowsily you went to ask Obi-Wan a question but all you got out was his name before your eyes fluttered shut. That last thing you heard before drifting off was, “Just rest now sweet little one, I’ll be here when you wake.”

It was dark. Pitch black, and yet someone else was there - you could sense them. Cautiously spinning around you attempted to peer through the darkness to no avail. Your hand reached unconsciously for your lightsaber only to find it missing and you tensed. Finally something broke the silence, a recognizable deep angry low growl that sent a shiver down your spine.

“You’ve been very bad my little Jedi. Such a little slut you let your Master fuck you not even a day after I did. Do you really have such a greedy cunt?” The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time and you spun trying to locate him. You could feel your annoyance at the Sith build as he refused to show himself until you froze as his golden eyes glowed at you in the darkness. You had to bite back a whimper as he stalked towards you, a mix of arousal and anger filling you. His voice echoed towards you, reverberating off of nothing in a way that had you quivering, “Don’t worry my little whore, the next time I see you...I’ll make sure you get what you need.”

In a sudden flurry of movement he was inches from you, his hand pulling your head back harshly as his teeth bared in a fierce scowl, “I’ll have to remind you that you belong to me.”

A yelp flew from your lips at the unexpected closeness and suddenly you were shooting forward, sitting up quickly. Blinking blearily you tried to regain your bearings as you looked around for Maul frantically. It wasn't until a sleep filled call of your name met your ears that you convinced yourself it was just a dream. Obi-Wan’s hand met your spine as he called to you again and you turned to meet his furrowed brow and concerned blue eyes. Smiling you nodded with a whisper of, “Just a bad dream, that’s all.”, before you allowed him to pull you back down to him. Nuzzling into his chest you allowed yourself to relax as you repeated softly, “It was just a dream. Just a dream.”

Maul’s piercing yellow gaze bore into the ceiling above his bed. A smirk tugged at his lips, he had never planned on fucking you again - figuring he would use you against Kenobi the next time he found you, and then disposing of you. But now? Now that he knew your Master had feelings for you it was going to be so much more delicious to ruin you for him. He groaned as he felt his cock twitch as recalled all the depraved things you and he had done last time before thinking of all the things he was going to do to you the next time he found you. Maul’s eyes slid shut as his hand wrapped around his aching length, for now he’d just have to be content with his own imagination.

[tennessoui]

You kind of already did 31 but pleaseeeeeeee

these ficlets keep getting longer ffs this is 2k

31. One is a sex worker, the other is a client AU

anakin's had his turn as a sex worker in my writing so it's Obi-Wan this time, paired with Vaderkin and i made it more dark than I thought would happen whoops but. warnings are: probably bordering extremely dubious consent even though no sex happens and this is just the lead up. a brief reference to underage sex work, though absolutely nothing comes of it. and vaderkin being a bit creepy.

There is a saying among the workers at the Establishment: if the imperial palace calls for you, you should hope the person that is displayed next to you is prettier.

Obi-Wan has never bought into prayers of any kind and this saying is only ever said with something akin to a worshipful dread. Still, when Ahsoka drapes a cloak of red around his shoulders and whispers those words to him—“May the others be your betters”—he thinks for a second about the nature of prayer and of hope and the futility of both in this galaxy.

“Don’t worry, little ‘Soka,” he smiles from under the cloak’s hood. “I’m sure it’s just a mistake.” He is, after all, one of the oldest workers here, makes most of his money these days tending bar and running the front desk, called in to serve mostly for virgin customers who want a gentler and more experienced hand to guide them in the art of pleasure. He doesn’t think any of the words could be used to describe the Emperor Vader, can’t see the imposing black-suited man interested in the art of pleasure.

Ahsoka can’t look him in the eye, but she hugs him tightly as he boards the shuttle that will take him to the Palace.

The ride there is quiet. Obi-Wan tries to avoid as many glances from the other people as he gives to them. Most of them are young, human. He seems to be the only male above 40. His chances are good.

Maybe he hadn’t been lying to Ahsoka. Maybe, truly, his name being included on the list had been a mistake

Something inside him hesitates though. He’d been out in the Upper levels a week ago, making his way home after one of his rare appointments with an old client turned friend. A child had fallen into the path of a small parade of speeders. A correctional officer had raised a whip. Obi-Wan had reacted on instinct, catching its lash with his forearm. The child had run off. Obi-Wan had stayed. He’d raised his head just enough, eons later, to see the durasteel outside of the largest speeder pass by his prone form, just enough to see the Imperial crest on its hull. Just for long enough to see a glint of a yellow eye from the window.

Bacta had treated his wounds, but his mind had not allowed him to rest easily, caught up in the memory of that eye--had he imagined the interest? Had he imagined it all?

And so to hear his name called tonight--the first calling since The Incident--had felt like the confirmation of all of his most unfounded fears.

Would tonight be the night he died? He had lived a long life. A rough one. Perhaps it is time.

Still, in the back of his head, a selfish, utterly human part of him whispered, may the others be your betters.

---

Those chosen do, often, come back. Sometimes they do not. Mostly they do. Obi-Wan has never truly decided which of these fates is the worse one. Those who survive don’t say anything for days on end, their eyes blank as they stare forward. Their bruises, if they are there, are easy to heal. But something is always wrong with their minds afterwards. And those who don’t come back...well. It’s hard to say what happens to them, where they go. Far away or down below.

Obi-Wan is forced to his knees in between a moderately aged female Togruta and a fairly young teenager. The boy is shaking. He can’t be more than sixteen.

They’re in the Entrance Hall. Obi-Wan has never been here before, but he supposes it makes sense. There will be one person who ventures further into the Palace. The rest will be dismissed out the doors that just shut. No need to bring the scum further in than they have to.

Distantly, like a funeral drum, Obi-Wan can hear the sound of feet falling, making their way closer. Just a single pair. He wants to look up, to watch the Emperor--because it has to be the Emperor--approach, but there’s a Guard behind him, holding his head down.

The footsteps are close now. There’s only ten of them--sometimes, Obi-Wan has heard that there can be as many as twenty or thirty--so the line is short. Vader paces quietly from the first to the last person, before stopping in the middle. Obi-Wan can just see the black of his boots if he flicks his eyes as far as they can go to the left. The boy next to him lets out a muffled sob. Obi-Wan wishes he could offer the kid some sort of comfort, some sort of reassurance that the Emperor will choose one of the other workers, a body more desirable than either of theirs, but there are no words to describe the guilty relief of a suffering passed onto someone else.

On some sort of invisible signal, the Guard behind Obi-Wan wrenches his head back by the hold he has on both the silken hood and his own hair. It’s far from comfortable, tilted so far back. The message is obvious. Submission is not optional. Respect will be shown through any means necessary.

Obi-Wan tries to keep the hulking form of Vader in his eyesight, even though to see ahead of him he has to close his eyes almost completely because of the angle. It’s impossible to see anything from the chest up, but he can still hear. Loud, mechanical breathing fills the halls. Vader stops at each person for no longer than five seconds before he continues down the line. Obi-Wan holds his breath, waiting for his turn. Does he turn his head as much as he can, to try and accentuate the gray at his temples? Does he lower his eyes?

He doesn’t, in the end, do either. Vader is wearing a mask, completely covering his face. He doesn’t even look human, except for the way he cocks his head slightly as he stares down at Obi-Wan. He feels flayed, just under the single look, but he can’t turn away either. He glowers up at him. Five seconds pass. Vader should be moving on by now. The fact that he hasn’t fills Obi-Wan with the sort of fear he’s only felt a handful of times in his life.

“This one,” Vader says through a voice modulator. Obi-Wan closes his eyes in defeat, thinks of Little Ahsoka back at the Establishment, thinks of what she’ll think if he doesn’t make it home.

But the boy next to him bursts into sobs and Obi-Wan opens his eyes to see that Vader’s hand isn’t pointing to him at all, but instead just to his right.

But Vader’s face is still pointed directly at Obi-Wan though, head still cocked. The question is as clear as if he actually spoke the words aloud. What will you do about this?

What will he do? What can he do? It’s the street from a week ago all over. A child is in danger. How can Obi-Wan ever live with himself if he doesn’t at least try to throw himself on the blade?

“No!” he says before he can think it through. The Guard behind him jerks his hair back roughly in punishment, but the monster in front of him runs two gloved fingers down his cheek, the pantomime of a lover’s caress. “Me instead. Choose me.”

“Quiet,” the Guard hisses to him, making him wince with the ferocity of the yank he gives his hair. Obi-Wan pants open-mouthed as he tries to think of an argument, of a single reason why the Emperor should not get what he wants, should settle for a washed up whore instead of a younger model. All he can think of is the moral justifications of it, and he’s not sure Vader would care for that line of reasoning.

“I’m asking,” he blurts out. The fingers pause from where they’ve been absent-mindedly touching his beard. “When has anyone ever asked?”

The Emperor takes a step back and seems to consider Obi-Wan, what he has to offer. He tries to preen, to throw his shoulders back and sit back on his heels to show off his body, but it’s hard when the Guard hasn’t let up on his hair. In fact the grip gets even tighter as the man behind him snorts a common insult.

A second later, the hand and the pressure disappear. Obi-Wan falls forward automatically at his sudden release. He scrambles away instinctively, even if that means closer to Vader. Vader who has his hand raised out in front of him clenching his gloved fist tight. Obi-Wan looks behind him at the guard who had held him. The man is scrabbling at his throat. Obi-Wan knows already it will be a futile effort. With Vader distracted by his execution, he turns to check on the boy. He’s looking down, refusing to make eye contact.

Probably for the better.

The Guard falls to the floor. The other nine Guards don’t move at all. Obi-Wan supposes there’s no room for loyalty in a galaxy like this.

“Come,” Vader says, running a hand through his hair. It’s a surprisingly gentle touch, seeing as that hand just took someone else’s life.

Slowly, Obi-Wan rises to his feet and follows behind him, through the twisting halls of the Imperial Palace. He thinks anyone could get lonely here if they have no one to keep them company. It’s so big. Obi-Wan shares his room with three other people, and he frets if one of them is still gone by the time he falls asleep.

This much space would drive anyone mad for another’s touch.

He blinks at himself, incredulous. Is he actually trying to feel compassion for the Emperor? Is it actually working?

The Emperor flings open a pair of elaborate doors without touching them, and suddenly Obi-Wan’s in the bedchambers of the most powerful man on the planet. And to think, he’s wearing mismatched and terribly darned socks.

He resolves to not ask Vader for permission to do anything with his own body for the entire night. He sits on the edge of the bed and watches as Vader takes off his cape and his gloves.

“Would you like to know my prices before or after?” He asks as cooly as possible.

“Your price is that it’s you here and not the boy.”

“Would you have wanted the boy?” Obi-Wan can’t hide the disgust in his tone.

“No,” the Emperor says succinctly. “But I did want to know what you would do. If you really were the same man as the one in the street.”

Obi-Wan’s breath catches in his throat. “Why would you want to know that?”

“There’s so little good left in the galaxy. It’s fascinating that so much is concentrated in you.” Vader reaches up to unlatch his mask. A cascade of golden curls falls out.

He huffs. The Emperor of the Galactic Empire thinks there’s not enough good in the galaxy. It’s at the very least ironic. “It’s a greedy galaxy, your Imperial Majesty--”

The Emperor turns around to face him, helmet still held in his hands. Obi-Wan is surprised to learn he’s just a man. An attractive man, certainly, young and almost pretty with a perfect arch to his lips and a roguish scar cutting through a thick eyebrow. If he had been one of Obi-Wan’s workers, he’d have taken him under his wing, tried to protect him from the clients who would have paid extra to rough up that face.

He was saying something. Obi-Wan had meant to say something else. Oh. Right. “Good cannot be bought.”

The man in front of him--was it really Vader?--smiles, but it doesn’t reach his yellow eyes. “No,” he purrs, discarding his helmet and stalking forward. “But you can.”

[yoonsshadow]

ETERNAL - v

➳ summary ; They have died so often that death has lost its meaning; hurt so regularly that pain has become inconsequential; lost so much that they hold each other to the light of the stars. They have nothing yet they have everything, as long as they have each other. And, after centuries, they now have her.

➳ pairing ; bts!ot7 x fem!reader

➳ genres ; The Old Guard au; fantasy, historical, action, romance, alternate universe

➳ themes ; angst, fluff, death

➳ warnings ; smoking, mature conversations

➳ word count ; 3k

➳ note ; Thank you for your patience!

masterlist

Fear is a fist that clutches your heart, reminding you of its presence each time it tightens its grip. It doesn’t hurt, necessarily, but you can feel the strength in its hold; the raging tendons wrapped around your tender organ that strain with each heartbeat. A singular emotion controlling your very pulse.

Cigarette smoke billows into the indigo hour of the night, and you find yourself unable to pry the fingers away.

The air on the balcony is cold, but it envelops you in a comforting embrace; it’s a soft coolness, as opposed to the harsh, biting climate of the desert that you’ve become accustomed to. Your skin prickles with goosebumps, but you don’t feel the need to scratch at yourself, to tear the skin from your flesh. It makes you feel alive, even if the definition of that word has changed for you.

Evidence of your newfound immortality, if that’s what you can call it, dangles between your fingers, ashes falling to the ground several storeys below with each gentle tap. It tastes terrible⎯⎯a bitter flavour of death in every pull⎯⎯but it serves its purpose for now. It keeps you grounded, gives you something to focus on other than the slowly growing anxiety that still holds strong in your chest.

Behind you, the balcony door slides open, startling the silent air with its soft drag.

“You’re up late,” Namjoon says. He speaks soft, low, as if hesitant to disturb you. “Or early, I guess. Didn’t take you for a smoker.”

You breathe out a puff of smoke, watching as it dissipates into the darkness. “I’m not.” He steps into your periphery, leaning on the metal railing beside you. “I just needed...something. Found them hidden away in the bookshelf.”

Namjoon scoffs. “Figures. We’re usually a non-smoking household, but sometimes the boys get sneaky. Pass me one?”

You hand him the box. Only two cigarettes left. He brings one to dangle between his lips and, without asking, you hand him a lighter. It takes him three tries, and then he’s sighing smoke into the air as well.

“Thought you were a non-smoking household.”

“We are. Stinks up the place, and it tastes disgusting. But. When in Rome.”

“You calling me Rome?”

He chuckles, but doesn’t answer. “Couldn’t sleep?”

You shake your head, despite knowing that he isn’t looking at you. “Too much on my mind.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think I could if I tried.”

He blends in with the shadows, slightly, though the peaks of his cheekbones catch the dull light that glows through the mist of pollution. “I get that. Would you rather me talk?”

“Not really.”

“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“Not really.”

So he stays. Until the embers begin to burn your fingertips; until you’re snuffing your cigarette on the metal rail. You don’t think you’ll smoke again. You suppose it doesn’t matter, though. There’s forever ahead of you to change your mind.

Sunlight is just beginning to illuminate the buildings around you when Namjoon speaks up again. He stubbed his own cigarette before it was even halfway done. 

“I’m sure you’re curious,” he says. “About us, about the situation, about everything. And we’ll tell you as much as we can, but...There are some things the boys won’t feel comfortable telling you about just yet. We’ve lived long lives. We’ve done good things and bad things; experienced things we’re proud of and things that haunt us. We may not die, but we’re still human. I hope that you don’t mind being patient with us.”

Your heart aches a little at the melancholy in his tone, as if you wouldn’t give the world for these seven men after knowing them just a day. It feels as if your soul has missed them for a lifetime.

“Namjoon.” He turns to face you, now, and a halo of soft light glows around his face. “I don’t know what you’ve all been through, and frankly, it’s none of my business. If you want to tell me something, I know that you’ll do it in your own time. I’ve got the rest of my life to get to know you all, okay? There’s no rush.”

His smile starts as a twitch, a quirked corner of his lips, but quickly grows wide. Relieved. 

“I’m glad it’s you,” he says. He offers no elaboration, no further words, but you think you know what he means. Because you’re glad it’s him, too. You’re glad it’s them.

With breakfast comes clarity. As you sit at the large dining table, bowls of rice, soup, and several plates of banchan steaming into the morning air, you find yourself feeling calmer than you have since your death. It’s as though the raging tides of emotions⎯⎯uncertainty, confusion, downright fear⎯⎯have finally quelled into a tranquil body of water. There is sure to be a ripple sooner or later, but for now, it is completely still.

Yoongi, the cook of this morning’s feast, takes the first bite, and the rest of you follow. There is so much that you want to say, so many questions that you want to speak into existence, but the bitter taste of apprehension bleeds through even the delicious taste of your meal. You feel like you might choke on it⎯⎯the taste and your words both⎯⎯but your throat closes before you can even swallow.

Ah. There is the awaited ripple.

Perhaps it is the hours of silent companionship, or simply his centuries of wisdom, but Namjoon seems to sense your internal struggle. “If there’s anything you want to ask us, Y/N, go ahead. We’ll answer to the best of our abilities.”

Your throat eases and your tastebuds return to normal. “Well…” Where do you begin? What questions do you ask potentially ancient beings? “I guess let’s start with what this,” you wave a finger around the table, at the seven other sets of eyes who watch you patiently, “is. The situation.”

Namjoon nods slowly. It seems he’ll be taking charge for this conversation, much to the visible relief of the others. “Even we aren’t completely certain of what exactly this is,” he says. “From what we’ve learned, our death granted us immortality, or something to that degree. We cannot die, nor can we get majorly injured. Any wounds heal quickly, and any illnesses metabolise out of our system before they can affect us.”

You nod. All of this you were already aware of.

“As for this,” he continues. He looks around the group, fighting back a fond smile. “We’re all connected. When someone else becomes like us, we all see visions of each other to help us find them. The same happened with you. You saw visions of us when you slept, and we saw visions of you. That’s how we could find you. The dreams gave us enough information to figure out who you were, and then it was a matter of locating you.”

“Which wasn’t easy, by the way,” Jimin adds, though there is no annoyance. “Your files were so deeply buried that we thought they might not exist. And don’t even get me started on accessing the satellite.”

“You hacked a satellite?” You can’t hide the shock in your tone, and you don’t miss the glint of mischief in Jimin’s eyes.

“That’s not important,” Namjoon says, taking control of the conversation once again. “What’s important is this: the eight of us are intrinsically connected now. We might not get the visions anymore, but we are still linked. The easiest way to describe it is that we’re soulmates, though that might not even be true. We were destined to find each other, to be immortal together. Whether it’s for some higher purpose, or just a random curse, we don’t know. It’s better, I think, if we don’t try and find out that reason.”

Now that confuses you. “Why? Isn’t it human nature to be curious?”

Hoseok scoffs. “I don’t think we fall under the definition of ‘human’ anymore.”

You’ll have to file that away for later.

Namjoon ignores Hoseok, and looks straight at you. “If we become too enveloped in trying to figure out the big ‘why’, we’ll get lost in ourselves. We’ll lose our own sense of purpose. If we were chosen, for whatever reason, then we have to trust that our instincts will guide us to do what is needed.”

“Okay.” You suppose he’s right. “Then, could you tell me how old you all are?”

“We don’t do ages,” Taehyung says. He sounds almost amused. “We know the age we were when we died, but we don’t keep track of how long we’ve lived after that. It’s a rule.”

“Then how about...generally? Who was the first? How did you all die?”

All eyes turn to Namjoon. Honestly, you can’t say you’re surprised.

“I was the first,” he says. A faraway look takes over his eyes, as if lost in the past. Seokjin puts a grounding hand on his shoulder. “I couldn’t figure out my actual age if I tried, but it was...a long time ago. I was the chief of my village. Killed for power. The story isn’t too interesting.”

There’s a brief moment of silence, and then Yoongi clears his throat. “I was the second. A slave to some tyrant who thought he was all-powerful. Killed in front of the other slaves to put them in line.” He shrugs, but doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes.

Hoseok is quick to speak next, his words are short and curt. “I was third. Court execution.” He seems reluctant, as if guarding his past behind the tightly-locked gates of his crossed arms, but you mean what you said to Namjoon earlier; you will wait for them. For however long it takes.

Next is Seokjin, and you have a feeling that his theatrics are for Hoseok’s benefit. “I was the lucky fourth, and a king, at that! Though I was only in the position for a few hours, and all public records of it were thrown into the river with my body. Which is a shame, really, because my portraits deserved to be in museums for all to marvel over.”

“Um.” Jeongguk seems nervous, and you see him hide his shaking hands beneath the table. “I was next. I died of...natural causes.”

“And we came as a set,” Taehyung smiles, arm slung over Jimin’s shoulders. “Died at the very same moment, and woke up the same way! We were best friends, right, Jiminie? On the opposite sides of a war, but I loved him with my whole heart.”

Jimin nods, a wistful smile pulling at his cheeks. “I remember thinking that I was so lucky, to die in his arms. To never have to live a single moment without him. And then we found the others, and I thought that I must’ve been in heaven to be so fortunate.”

“We’re all together,” Namjoon elaborates, though it’s unnecessary. A blind man could see the way they feel about each other. “It may be because of circumstance, though I like to think that it’s because we were all meant to be. Like it’s a gift from the universe, allowing soulmates born in different centuries to find each other.”

“And now you,” Jeongguk whispers. His eyes glimmer, hopeful, and so young despite the obvious years he has over you. You wonder why he doesn’t seem as emotionally aged as the others; what could cause him to cling to his youth the way he does. It doesn’t matter, though. If it means he keeps his heart, it will never matter.

“We don’t expect anything from you,” Seokjin says. “Not romantically or even platonically. You are still your own person, and if you don’t want to be a part of this, in any degree, we won’t force it.”

You are thankful for that. It takes away a pressure that you didn’t even know you had until now. The thought that this is a choice⎯⎯a decision that is completely yours to make⎯⎯relieves you to no end. And yet... 

“I don’t think that’s a decision I can make right now.” You mindlessly arrange the chopsticks on your now empty plate as you try to summon the right words to explain yourself. “There’s so much that I need to figure out, and so many things that I feel I have to do. I don’t even know if I’ve properly processed the situation yet, or if I’m simply in shock.”

“Is there any way we can help you?” Yoongi, as always, seems so genuine. So heartfelt. 

“You already have. So much more than you’d believe.” And it’s true. Independence is your life. You may have been in a team in your old life, a leader of a small group for whom you were responsible, but you were always brought up, always trained, to survive alone. To find comfort in an existence of solitude. Because that’s what the military is; it is removing yourself from others, from the world. You were in a team, sure, but you were all alike in your aloneness. Alone together.

Now, you have this group of men who, without knowing you, have plucked you from your misery and now offer you everything. Offer themselves, their companionship, their help. You are not the one responsible, the one with everything on the line. They have taken that from you with gentle hands, and you give it away gladly. There is not much else that you could ask of them.

Except. Well, maybe there is.

“But…” You trail off, and their eyes just scream patience. You don’t know how they do it, how they’ve grown to be so effortlessly composed and serene, because right now your heart is beating in urgency. It batters against your chest, yelling at you to just ask them, now, but your words falter in sudden uncertainty. They have already given you so much, offered even more; can you truly ask for the help that you now realise you may need?

You look into their eyes again, and know that the answer is yes.

“This mission,” you continue, sitting up straighter. If you speak with confidence, perhaps you’ll start to feel it. “As far as I know, it was never completed. When our team went in, it was under the belief that we’d be able to rescue all of the children safely and relatively unseen. Someone on the inside tipped them off, but they had to have had a reason. They wouldn’t have betrayed us like that unless something was wrong.”

“You speak like you know exactly who it was,” Hoseok says. It isn’t a question, and you see it in his expression that he isn’t necessarily looking for an answer.

You won’t give him one. Not yet. Not until you’ve figured out for yourself why this person would’ve left you for dead. “That isn’t important right now,” you say in lieu of a confirmation. “What matters is that those children are still out there somewhere, and there’s a leak in the operation.” Releasing a deep sigh, you slump down a bit. “I’m going back to the desert, back to the base, and I’m going to save those children. If you would like to help me...that would be really nice.”

“Of course we’ll help,” Jeongguk says, without hesitation. There’s a resoluteness in the set of his jaw that you haven’t seen in him before. “Anything you need. We mean it.”

“We should talk about this plan of yours first, though,” Namjoon says. “As far as the military is concerned, you’re dead. You died with your team. If you go back to your base of operations, that’s just going to open up a whole lot of complications for both sides. They might think that you were the traitor, being the only survivor. We’ll need to operate with a certain level of stealth.”

You were worried about that. Your dog-tags are with the rest of your team’s, your body supposedly burned along with theirs. You won’t be able to reprise the role you previously played in this, and you won’t have the military support that you once had. If you do this, it will be in the shadows, hiding behind corners and turning away from cameras. You are a ghost now. You’ll have to act like one.

“Okay,” you say. “I understand; we need to stay hidden. But there is one person that I need to see face-to-face. I can promise that they won’t do anything to endanger our identities.”

“It’s a bad idea,” Jimin says. “Trust is one thing when you’re alive, but if they’ve been mourning your death, you can’t know for sure how they’ll react.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” you affirm. “I trust this person, and I’m going to need you all to trust me.”

Taehyung bites his lip in contemplation. “It isn’t that we don’t trust you,” he says, “but we can’t fully trust the situation. We don’t know this person, whoever they are, or how they’ll use this information against you. Against us.”

“I get it, I do.” You can’t help but sigh. “But this is something that I need to do, and something that I will do regardless of whether I have your permission. I won’t let my decision affect any of you, but if you decide against helping me because of this, I’ll understand.”

Yoongi leans forward. “We’re going to help you.” His tone is final. “And you’re right, this is your decision to make. We just want to make sure that you completely understand what you’re potentially getting yourself into.”

“You are all a lot older than me,” you say, “and obviously much wiser. But I’m an adult too, and I’m mature enough to know that my actions may have consequences. I’m no stranger to making tough decisions, or to taking responsibility. I may not be a Captain by rank anymore, but that doesn’t change who I am.”

“Okay,” Namjoon says. He doesn’t argue, nor does he apologise, but he doesn’t need to. There is a mutual understanding in the way you look at each other, and nothing more needs to be said. “So, what’s the plan?”

You take in a deep breath, and prepare your mind to return to the place you’ve grown to loathe.

< prev - next >

tags: @leafyturtle, @loveyoongles, @paint-music-with-me, @barbikatherine, @itsmorgo1604, @calling-dips-on-j-hope, @veronawrites, @applepie1000, @yoonchrisgullwrites, @ally22042000, @ireallylikefoodandyoutube, @blglmgk01, @basicgukk, @softescapism, @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered, @m1nt-3lla, @hunnayesblog, @rosycheekb, @hemmofluke, @the-bisaster, @katbonv, @borahebangtan​, @monodroppp, @skyys-universe

[justkending]

The Number One Rule. Chapter 20.

Summary: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left, but don’t worry the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Rogers (Steve’s little sister)

Word Count: 3000+

A/N: Ok this is the last full chapter I have written. I’ve begun on 21, but it’s only about halfway done. I’m hoping to have it done by the Saturday, but no promises... Please be patient with me as I have a rather busy schedule and want to give you the best chapters! I hope you all enjoy this one:)

Chapter Twenty:  

Another two weeks had passed, and today was move in day for Y/N into her new apartment. 

She had got a small little flat in Midtown Manhattan, so she was right in between her mom and Steve and Bucky’s house. Having not really time to get furniture and not really having the money for it just yet, she went ahead and got a furnished apartment, so moving in was easy with only bringing in her bedding, boxes of clothes, and decorations. 

The flat that she got was an open concept studio. The only walled rooms were the bathroom and a single closet at the entryway. Everything else was out in the open with no dividers. 

They had given her a bed, couch, dresser, coffee table, and the dining table was an island in the middle of the kitchen looking out to the living room. She went thrifting during some free time finding a bookshelf and end table for her bed to add to the space. 

Bucky and Steve had taken the weekend off to help her move in the heavy loaded things. Becca was coming later to help with some decorating to liven up the space. 

“Where’s this one going?” Steve asked maneuvering through the doorway. 

“They’re literally labeled, big guy,” Y/N shouted from the bathroom where she was organizing her toiletries. 

“Not this one, Miss. Sass,” Steve countered. 

“Just throw it by a wall somewhere then. I’ll get to it later,” she shouted back. 

Bucky came in shortly after with two smaller boxes topped on each other. 

“Ok, I think that’s it. At least in my car,” he noted, dropping them down in the kitchen.

“All clear in my truck,” Steve added with a huff as he brushed his hands off. 

Y/N came out from the bathroom with her hands on her hips and let out a loud breath. 

“Great. All that’s left is decorating and at least making my bed so I have a place to collapse once exhaustion hits me,” she smiled. “And according to the time,” she looked down at her watch, “that will be about 20 minutes.”

Bucky chuckled before moving over and wrapping an arm around her shoulder and squeezing her body into his side. Which she gladly used him as a wall to cave into. 

“Yeah, 4 hours of moving things from mom’s to here was my workout for the day,” Steve laughed. “Now, I was promised dinner and a drink for my payment of heavy lifting, if I remember correctly.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at her brother who batted his long eyelashes at her waiting for her answer. 

“Fine, I’ll call in for pizza. Anyone know a good spot around here?” she asked breaking away from Bucky for just a quick second to grab her phone before rushing back to hold onto him once again. The quick movement made Bucky laugh at how needy she was being for his touch. 

He wasn’t complaining though. Now that Steve knew about them, the simple touches (they were being nice and not being as touchy as they’d like for Steve’s comfort. He was still getting used to it) meant all the world now they can embrace it instead of hide it. 

“There’s Angelo’s and Joe’s. Both mouth watering New York Pies,” Bucky answered, as he wrapped his other arm around her holding her into his side more. She snuggled into his chest as she typed away on her phone for the menus.

“Any preference, Stevie?” she asked. 

“I’m feeling Joe’s. While you order that, I’ll go to the corner store for some beers. Want anything specific?” he asked standing up rolling back his shoulders in a stretch before grabbing his keys. 

“You know the answer to that,” she said, sending a raised eyebrow from behind Bucky’s arm. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get the Rose,” he waved off moving to the door. “Buck? Anything special.”

“I’m good with whatever.”

“ ‘kay. Be back in a minute.”

Steve walked out the door and instantly Y/N fell back onto her bed with a bounce. 

“You’re really that tired?” Bucky laughed looking at her stilled self. 

“I’ve been packing way before you guys got there to put everything in your cars,” she answered with her eyes closed. 

“Did you sleep last night?” When he didn’t get a response and she just moved her arm over her eyes, he knew the answer. “You waited until the last minute to pack everything up, didn’t you?”

“Not everything… Just my entire bedroom…” she said, peeking an eye out with a small smile. 

Bucky chuckled before falling down next to her. Both of them looked up to stare up at the high exposed ceilings. 

“I did my bathroom the day before,” she noted. 

“What else do you have left to do to make this feel like your home?” he asked, turning his head to her. 

“Eh, I’ll go thrifting with Becca tomorrow probably and find decorations here and there. But considering this place is maybe just two of my bedrooms at mom’s house, I won’t need much,” she shrugged looking at him. “Definitely need to get a plant or two… Or five.”

Bucky shook his head with a grin before moving to envelope her again and pull her into his chest. 

“I feel like everytime I’m going to come over, you’re going to have a new plant.”

“Well…”

“Am I wrong?” 

“No.” 

“You’re a dork,” he laughed, kissing the crown of her head.

“Hey! Plants purify your air and bring joy to my heart. It’s scientifically proven,” she pouted, pulling away enough to see his face. 

“I didn’t know you were part of a science experiment,” he played on. “Would make sense for a lot of things…”

“You little-,” she shoved him away before jumping off the bed and moving to the kitchen. 

“Hey, I’m kidding. I’m kidding,” he laughed slowly chasing after her. “To an extent.”

“Don’t talk to me,” she huffed, going back to her phone to order the pizza. The little pout of her bottom lip just made her all the more cute instead of intimidating though. 

He rolled his eyes as he moved to stand behind her trapping her in her position by the island. His arms holding the counter top on both sides of her body.

“That won’t last long…” he whispered in her ear in just the right voice to make her shiver. 

But she didn’t give in, no matter how bad she wanted to. Two can play this little game. She hit the call button and turned around looking at him. 

Just as she opened her mouth to talk, making it a show and making him think she was about to say something to him, she brought her phone to her ear and answered.

“Hi, I was wanting to place a delivery order,” she said fluttering her eyelashes at Bucky before ducking under his arms and walking away. “Yes, I’m going to do a large pepperoni and a large margarita pizza.” She continued as she aimlessly walked around the flat. 

Bucky shook his head watching her. Before he had the chance to do anything further… Becca came in with a loud huff. 

“Good God. Y/N, you have a hot neighbor!” she shouted and the two turned to her. Bucky with furrowed eyebrows and Y/N with a look showing she was on the phone. “Oop, sorry,” she shrugged with a whisper as she walked to Bucky with a brown paper bag. 

“Hot neighbor?” Bucky asked. 

“Yeah, right next door. I might have to hop on that…” she winked as she started emptying the bag. Random little snacks and bags of candies, probably for their girls night they planned for later that evening. 

“I thought you were dating someone,” Bucky questioned as he grabbed a bag of swedish fish. Becca quickly smacked his hand and sent a warning look. 

“Keep up, Bucky. We stopped dating like a month ago,” she shook her head. 

“Wait, what was his name again? Scotty? Sco-”

“Scott. And yes. We had almost completely different schedules, so it just wasn’t working. Eh, I’m not worried about it. He was a good lay, but I’ll live,” she tilted her head grabbing a bottle of wine and moving to put it up in the fridge. 

“Oh, God. Please don’t tell me about guys you’re sleeping with. I don’t want to hear that,” Bucky squirmed. 

“You’re a child,” she shook her head before turning to Y/N who was walking to the opposite side of the island. “Who was on the phone?”

“Joe. I was ordering some pizza,” she answered. “Sweet guy actually. But what were you talking about when you came in?”

“Oh!” she shouted excited. “You have a hot neighbor!”

“Is that so?” she raised her eyebrows before moving to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. 

“Does that spark an interest in you Y/N/N?” Bucky asked, turning and looking at her with surprise. 

“I’m not talking to you, remember?” she pointed. 

“You just did,” he tilted his head with a sassy smirk. 

Instead of answering, she stuck out her tongue and turned back to Becca. “Elaborate.”

“310D, right to the left of you,” Becca noted. “Longer blonde hair and those damn arms that look like if you wrapped a ribbon around them, it would take a single flex to pop it.”

“Catch a name?” she asked with a laugh. 

“You do realize we’re dating right?” Bucky asked, crossing his arms. 

“No, I didn’t catch it. I was just looking at him before he went into his apartment. I don’t think he even saw me,” Beck continued ignoring her brother. 

“Interesting. You’ll have to figure it out,” she added, taking a swig of water. “Wouldn’t hurt to know the neighbors name.”

“Um, hello…”

“Oh, say less. Don’t have to tell me twice to interact with a perfect specimen of a man,” Becca laughed.

“I feel like I’m invisible,” Bucky mumbled, watching the two start to giggle about whatever telepathic thing they were talking about. 

_________

Steve came back soon after with the drinks, and not even 10 minutes after him, the pizza was delivered. 

They all sat around eating and talking with the limited furniture after Bucky set up the TV, along with Steve yelling at him that it was HDMI 4 not 2. That was a whole fight in itself. 

Steve eventually left around six and Bucky was leaving soon after so the girls could have their first girl night in Y/N’s new apartment. 

That was until Bekah let out a long groan. 

“What?” Y/N asked leaning over for an M&M on the coffee table. 

“One of my classmates just texted me asking about something for an essay I completely forgot I had due. My professor has it due at 8am tomorrow like the crazy person she is,” she sighed, looking at her phone before looking at the couple on the couch she was facing on the floor. “What kind of insane person doesn’t do the midnight deadline? This professor is going to be the death of me.”

“How much of it do you have done?” Bucky asked. 

“That’s the thing,” she said with a wrinkle of her nose. “I completely forgot about it until this text…”

“You haven’t started?” Y/N chuckled, but you could tell she was worried for her friend. 

“No…” Becca replied. “I may or may not have been putting it off and happened to forget it entirely.”

“Let me guess, it’s practically 30% of your grade for the semester?” Y/N said with a raised eyebrow. 

“You know me so well…” she replied with a pathetic smile. “I’m going to have to bail on girls night tonight. Please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Beck,” Y/N shook her head. “I get it. I just recently got out of that world, so I know how it goes.”

Bucky watched as the two interacted and laughed at his sister like the annoying big brother he was. 

“Go before you fail the class. We can always reschedule,” Y/N waved off. 

“You sure?”

“Positive. Now go. Every second counts,” she said, standing with Becca as they moved to the door. “Stop by the coffee shop on the way out. Espresso is your friend tonight.”

“Yes ma’am,” Becca saluted as she grabbed her things and stepped out of the apartment. “Oh, and next time I come, I’ll make sure to get hot neighbors name,” she added with a wink. 

“That’s your next homework assignment.”

“Oh, that’s one I won’t be putting off.”

After a head shake to her friend, Becca rushed out of the building off to her own place. Y/N shut and locked the door behind her and walked back into the kitchen. 

“Does that mean we get to have a girls night?” Bucky asked with a smirk. 

“Ha Ha, very funny,” she laughed before falling onto the couch and laying her head in his lap looking straight up at him. “But yeah. I’d like some company first night here. It’s a big emptyish kind of space.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice, doll,” he smiled as he started stroking her hair gently. 

“Oh, hey! I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” she noted, readjusting in her spot to see him better. 

“Should I be worried?” he asked is a teasing manner. 

“No,” she chuckled before grabbing his hand and starting her pattern tracing that he learned she loved to do. It was calming is what she had told him. “It’s about Steve.”

“What about Steve?” Bucky asked as he watched her finger tip glide across his palm in a gentle manner, sending shivers up his arm. She was able to do that everytime. 

“Well, you know my host family I talked about?” He hummed as his answer. “So Peggy was the daughter of the people I was staying with. She was about 4 years older than me and kinda turned into my mentor. Badass woman if I might add.”

“I remember you talking about her. From the stories you had, she seems like she can definitely hold her own,” he laughed. “What does she have to do with Steve?”

“I’m getting there, slowly…” she said, adding a dramatic tone to the conversation. Bucky rolled his eyes playfully as he went back to playing with her hair. “Peggy and I talked about her coming here and staying a while. A week or so. Maybe later. However, that was when we were living together and just mapping out times to meet up again. Now, she’s got a job opportunity here and was wanting to come and stay for a little to scope out if she wants it and is willing to make the move to New York possibly.”

“Sounds like a fun plan,” he nodded. “But I’m still waiting on the Steve part.”

“Patience, B. Patience,” she said squeezing his hand slightly. “It has to do with Steve because I think Peggy would be a great match for him.”

“You want to set up your brother?”

“Yes. And if there is anyone in the world that I can think of that can handle his hard head as well as challenge it, it’s Margaret Elizabeth Carter.”

“You know your brother hates when we set him up on dates,” Bucky made note of. “She better be something else if you think it’s going to work out.”

“Oh, Peggy is the definition of something else,” Y/N smirked still concentrated on the lines on his hand.

“Ok, so when is she coming to town?”

“Not sure yet. She’s still waiting to hear back from the agency that she was talking with on a good date for them both. I mean she can always come visit before that, but travel isn’t cheap, so it would be smarter for her to just come when she also has business to attend to.”

“Valid point.”

“So you think it’s a good idea? You wanna join my team to play matchmaker with Stevie?” she asked with that damn grin that got him every time. He just can’t seem to say no to it.

“As much as your brother hates these kinds of things, you seem pretty set on it. So I’m trusting you know what you’re doing,” he smiled, brushing a thumb on her cheek. 

“When do I not know what I’m doing?” she retorted gleefully. 

“Well, there was that one time at Coney Island that you,-” he started, just in an effort to push her buttons. 

“It was a rhetorical question that should not be answered. That is if you want to stay the night,” she said with an attempt of a threatening face. 

“It’s cute you think you have an intimidating stare,” he replied, now pinching her cheek where his thumb was. 

“I can be intimidating,” she sat up with a pout. 

“Sure you can, Y/N/N,” he nodded with a smug grin. “That face exudes intimidation.”

When she actually set in her deathly stare that Bucky had seen when she was upset, he took a step back from his teasing. 

“Ok, I’m kidding now. I know you can do it,” he said with a daunted face. The glower on her own features immediately dropped at getting the reaction from him she wanted and went back to her cute sweet innocent smile. “It’s kinda scary how easily you can flip that switch…”

“It’s a talent. What can I say?” she shrugged with a wink as she stood up and went to make popcorn. “So what movie are we watching tonight?”

(Tags for this series is closed. If you would like updates, please turn on my notification:)

The Number One Rule (TNOR) Taglist:

@shadowolf993​ @semistablecentenarian​ @hello-i-am-daydreaming​ @jessyballet​  @emmabarnes​ @kmuir1​  @beautifulrare4leafclover​ @thefallenbibliophilequote​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​  @shawnie--jo​–jo  @asoftie4bucky​ @katiaw2​ @sheeple​ @sznri​ @bxtchboy69​ @taliarosej00​ @bakugouswh0r3​ @stopjustlovethemcu​ @babemendesxz​ @jenniereiji​ @taliarosej00​ @loveyou5everr​ @natdrunk​ @im-a-light-child​ @stucky-my-ship​ @fairykimseok​ @alexfms97​​ @awkwardnesshabitat​​

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose  @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan​  @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @carls1022​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @carls1022​ @anise-d-castle6​ @deannotmoose​ @their-bibliophile​ @kitkatd7​ @willowbleedsonpaper​ @mariaenchanted​ @snffbeebee​ @couldabeenamermaid​ @rebekahdawkins​ @alyispunk​

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@bellamy-barnes​​

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@thejourneyneverendsx​​ @death-unbecomes-you​​ @heyiamthatbitch​​ @lizzymacy555​​  @srrymydood​​ @xa-dia​​ @redhairedfeistynerd​​ @morganclaire4​​ @connie326​​ @captain-asguard​​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​​ @teenagedreams-bucky​​ @shower-me-with-roses​

[rosiehunterwolf]

... Morro

XD y'all really like your Morro, don't you? This is the second Morro request I've gotten (third technically, but there was an issue with the other one so it's not going to be filled) and the first one blew up XD, got way more notes than any fic I've posted before even though it was just a short little thing.

Since I already did a typical Morro fic, though, I decided to try something a little different with this one and tie it into the movie!verse. Hope you enjoy!

Spirit of the Deep

Summary: With Garmadon defeated for good, the ninja are eager to find another way to busy themselves. When Kai finds out about an ancient temple rumored to hold some sort of treasure, the others are immediately in.

Not all adventures are good, though. Before the ninja know it, they are in over their heads with a discovery they will never forget. (Movie!verse AU)

“It’s just through here!”

Kai’s voice rang through the temple, and Lloyd pushed his way through the vines, looking around carefully, his sword drawn. “Kai, not so loud. I don’t have a great feeling about this place.”

“Gee, I wonder why!” Jay squeaked from behind him. “I mean, look at this place!” He waved his hands at the crumbling stone walls, overgrown with weeds and vines. “Kai, what made you think it was a good idea to come here?”

“Oh, Jay, stop being such a coward. It’s going to be fun! There could be puzzles! Or booby traps! And most importantly, treasure!”

“You’re excited about booby traps?”

Lloyd stopped, holding up his flashlight to examine something on the wall. It looked to be an engraving of some sort, like a whirlwind, and below it, some sort of runes that Lloyd couldn’t read.

With a start, he realized the others were far ahead of him now, and he darted after them, desperate to keep up. “Guys! Don’t leave me alone like that! Are you forgetting I don’t have powers to protect myself like you guys do?”

“Fat lot of use powers will be when Kai and Jay inevitably trigger all the traps and the floor disappears beneath us,” Cole grumbled.

“Hey!” Kai yelped, at the same time Jay said, “Do you really think there are traps in here?”

Nya sighed. “If you’re so nervous, Jay, why did you even come with?”

“The rest of you guys were all going! I wasn’t going to be left behind!”

“There does not appear to be any signs of life,” Zane said. “I do not think anyone has been here for a long time.”

“What about traps? Can your sensors detect any traps?”

Zane frowned. “No. There seems to be some sort of interference with my signals.”

Kai suddenly stopped, the others bumping into him at the lack of warning.

“Kai?” Cole asked. “Why’d we stop?”

“There’s something in there.” Kai didn’t elaborate further, stepping over the rubble of the crumbled wall and disappearing from sight.

“Kai, wait!” Nya yelped, hurrying after him.

“So much for sticking together,” Lloyd grumbled as he followed the others into the room. “Seriously, one day this is going to-” he stopped short of walking right into Cole. “What is it?”

The earth ninja simply pointed, and Lloyd went slack.

In the middle of the room, there was a pedestal, intricate carvings in the side of it emitting a faint green glow. Atop it, a scroll was rolled up, the paper worn with age.

“What is that?” Nya breathed.

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it one bit. Maybe we should just go-”

“Can it, Jay.” Cole grabbed the lightning ninja by the back of his shirt. “We didn’t come all this way for nothing.”

“What’s an old scroll doing all the way out here?” Lloyd asked. He reached for it, but Kai stopped him with a sharp yelp.

“Lloyd, don’t! I saw something like this in a movie once! This is a trap. When you take the scroll, the weight on the pressure plate will lift, and the whole place will come down around us! We need to find something that’s an equal weight to replace it with.”

Lloyd eyed the pedestal. “I don’t think…”

Nya sighed. “Kai, you’re confusing movies with reality.”

“I’m not! Trust me!”

“Fine.” Lloyd turned to the group. “Do we have anything?”

Cole pulled something out of his bag, holding it out to them. “I have a rock.”

They blinked at him. “Why do you have a rock?”

Cole shrugged. “Maybe I like rocks.”

Kai shook his head. “Okay, whatever. That should work.” Taking the rock from Cole, he positioned himself over the pedestal. He took a deep breath. “Here goes.”

In the blink of an eye, he had switched out the scroll for the rock. There was an ominous creaking sound, and they all held their breath, waiting. A few small stones clattered down from the roof, but other than that, nothing.

“We did it.” Unrolling the scroll, Kai’s relieved expression quickly changed to one of disappointment. “It’s just a bunch of symbols and gibberish.”

“Zane, do you think you can decipher it?” Lloyd asked.

Zane took the scroll from Kai. His brow furrowed. “This does not appear to match the dialect of any of the official Ninjago languages.”

“Lemme look at that.” Jay took the scroll from him, and Cole scowled at him.

“Be careful with it, nitwit! As far as we know, this is a priceless artifact!” As the others squabbled over the scroll, Lloyd approached the pedestal. Now that he was closer, he could see that there was an engraving on the top that he had missed before.

A funnel, sort of like-

A whirlwind. It was that same symbol he had seen near the entrance.

“Hey, guys,” he called. “I think this may be important, I saw it earlier-” Reaching out, he let his fingers lightly brush the engraving. Suddenly, there was a bright flare of light, and a gust of wind that seemed to come from nowhere sent Lloyd hurtling across the room. He groaned, rubbing his head.

“Lloyd!” Suddenly the others were beside him, Kai gripping his arm so tightly his knuckles turned white. Lloyd waved him off. “Kai, don’t worry, I’m fine-” he stopped, realizing that the fire ninja was no longer looking at him.

Lloyd followed his gaze and froze.

Hovering over the pedestal was a young man with long black hair, a green streak running through it. His clothes were ripped and disheveled, and he was examining himself in awe.

Most noteworthy, though, was the fact that Lloyd could see right through his body.

The man looked up suddenly, spearing them with his gaze. “Who are you? Where am I? What happened to me?”

“Oh. Oh my gosh.” Jay gripped Lloyd’s arm. “I think we just awakened a ghost! Oh my gosh, Lloyd, what have you done?”

“What have I done? Kai’s the one who brought us here! Blame him!”

“Me? You’re the one who touched the pedestal after I clearly told you not to!”

“Well, maybe if you guys had listened to me about the symbol, I wouldn’t have!”

“The scroll distracted us! Blame Zane, he’s the one who couldn’t read it!”

“Me? Nya was the one who-”

“Enough!” a voice bellowed across the room, and they all froze, turning to look at the ghost. “I can’t believe a bunch of kids just released me from the dead. I can’t believe I’m dead!”

“We’re not kids!” Nya snapped. “We’re ninja.”

The ghost looked at her. “Right.”

“We are!”

“Um,” Lloyd swallowed. “Mr. Ghost, sir-”

The ghost rolled his eyes. “It’s Morro.”

“Okay, Morro- we could get in a lot of trouble if our master found out what we did. So, um… maybe you could consider… going back? To wherever you came from?”

“Are you kidding?” Morro laughed. “I was trapped in there for years! I’m never going back!”

“Uh, I think you are.” Kai stepped forward, igniting his fist. “Get back in! Or else!”

Morro’s eyes widened. “An elemental master. I’ll be damned.”

“And there’s more where that came from!” Nya shot a jet of water at him, and Morro shrieked, darting out of the way.

“Watch it! Didn’t anyone ever teach you that water kills ghosts?”

“To have a ghost roaming the city would be unwise.” Zane stepped forward, ice crackling between his fingers. “We have you surrounded. Please go back inside your pedestal.”

“Two can play at that game,” he muttered. As Zane blasted him with ice, a powerful gust of wind shot from Morro’s hands, repelling the ice.

Lloyd felt his jaw go slack. Suddenly, the whirlwind symbols made a lot more sense.

“You’re an elemental master, too?” Cole whispered.

“Got a problem with that?”

The others turned to look at him. “What do we do, Lloyd?”

Lloyd glanced back and forth between his team and Morro. “I have a feeling we’re not going to get rid of him. And… Master never told us about an elemental master of wind. He should probably know about this.”

“Alright.” Nya turned towards Morro. “We’re going to take you to our master. Cooperate, or else.”

Morro sighed. “It doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice, do I? Fine, let’s go.” And, in a flash, he was sliding into Lloyd’s body.

Lloyd screamed, falling to the floor as the chill overtook him, the feeling of a foreign presence taking over his brain-

“Okay, okay kid, I’ll stop!”

Lloyd looked up to see Morro had left his body and was hovering over him, the others just behind, their expressions ranging from horrified to furious glares at Morro.

“Lloyd, are you okay?” Kai reached out, helping him to his feet.

“Geez, kid, you act like you’ve never been possessed before.”

Lloyd blinked at him. “I haven’t.”

Morro snorted. “Look, it’s not going to hurt you. I’m a ghost- I’m weak to water. The city has water everywhere- dripping from the roofs, pooling in the streets- the protection of a human body makes it far less likely that I’ll die on the way there. Besides, a ghost floating around isn’t exactly subtle, and… I have a feeling that attention isn’t exactly something we want.”

Lloyd exhaled slowly. “Fine. Do it.”

This time, he was prepared as the coldness numbed his body, although it still wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

The others looked at him anxiously. “Are you sure you’re okay with this, Lloyd?” Nya asked.

“It’s fine, it’ll be over soon. Now come on, let’s go find my uncle and get some answers.”

Let’s hope this guy actually knows what’s going on.

It took Lloyd a moment to realize the thoughts were Morro’s, but he found himself thinking the same thing. If Master Wu couldn’t fix this… he didn’t know what he was going to do.

[eddedneddy]

pleas Elaborate on that double dee headcanon I wanna know

anon thank you so much for asking about the double dee ed girl. the trans of gender ed girl.

I saw this post a while ago referencing an interview with the show's writers. I have been looking for said post AND the interview itself for the past half an hour with no success and i refuse to look any further because all google is offering are reddit threads on how everybody used to think edd was a girl, so i'll just go ahead unsourced hoping i'm not insane and hallucinated it or something.

In this alleged interview, when asked what the Eds would become as adults, one of the writers replied something along the lines of "Double Dee will become a woman" and i was like well. yeah. Trans woman Double Dee makes sense. Why the fuck not. Despite never having thought about it before then. It just really feels right for some reason. I kind of forgot about it for a while, and it came back to mind while I was thinking about things and stuff for my older eds headcanons.

I don't really plan on doing anything much with the designs and headcanons for the grown-up eds i posted not long ago, but the general idea for them was to represent the different ways in which i've found adulthood to be a gruesome ordeal to go through so far, to try and differentiate them from their tween selves representing the experience of a more or less carefree childhood.

I have this whole thing planned out in my mind about Double Dee growing up to be a painfully cautious adult, living life as a safe bet and always doing the most to never stray from the path of what is Right and Expected. Only to then have a well earned breakdown and realize that most if not all of the choices she's taken in life have been taken in order to please others. From her college choice, to the job she accepted once graduated, all the way to the belief that she has no real agency over her own identity, and that if everyone around her says she's a man and treats her as one, then disregard all the discomfort that causes her, she's gotta be one, right? Yeah no, the amount of layers of denial humans can operate under is amazing, but there comes a point in your life in which you kinda HAVE to take a good look in the mirror and put a stop to the bullshit before you go insane. A good starting point, in this case, would be to try and regain that lost authority over your own identity.

I realize nothing I wrote in that last paragraph was even remotely funny. Just me projecting onto cartoons, as I do. So yeah, to sum it up I think the idea of Double Dee being a woman is cool and The Boys would also be cool about it because why would they not.

Let's also throw in some Eddy hcs while we're at it, because I really like the idea of Eddy having a long-time violently repressed crush on Double Dee, and that after the Big Gender Reveal his internalized homophobia would release the choke hold it had on him, leaving him free to GO FOR IT. GET THE GIRL, MAIN CHARACTER. Except he would suck at it because of all the pressure and the repressed feelings and whatnot. dont really care why he would just be bad at it. I just think it's cool when things are awkward and don't work very well.

The feelings would be mutual, too, because it just makes sense for unassertive, polite and conscious double dee to end up with someone who's ambitious, bossy and self-unaware. it makes sense as in: i think it's a really funny dynamic and i like it. And with her not exactly being a clueless idiot, she'd be aware of her own feelings being reciprocated. Her mistake would be thinking Eddy would actually take the first step.

happy belated bi visibility day.

Also important, the name change. Which is proving to be an issue because I can't really think of anything good. You can't really change it that much, since the premise of the show is that they all have the same name.

Edda is an actual name that comes to mind but c'mon.

I mean. I'm gonna be honest, I actually kinda like the idea because my aunt is called Edda and with that Double Dee would have two aunt names. But yeah that's all I got. Let's just call her Double Dee.

I really want to go on but I don't know if anyone else but me wants me to. But anon thank you again for asking and giving me a reason to put my thoughts on this together.

[becausethathappens]

Spare Change

4k - college - Link is furious, so Rhett tries to calm him down.

For @peachworthy​ and anyone else who thinks swearing is hot.

-

Link is mad.

Link is pacing.

Rhett tries to help.

“Why don’t you just scream into a pillow, like you always do?” Rhett offers.

“I did that!” Link cries. He makes a show of going over and doing it again. Rhett can’t help his instinct to recoil at seeing his friend yell like that. 

Link’s car has been towed. Link can’t go on a date with the girl he’s been trying to court all week. 

On top of that: Link doesn’t have a credit card (all he’s got is cash) and it says right on the tow sign they don’t deal in it. Somehow Link missed the whole thing, the first time around, when he parked wrong or whatever. But now going to have to borrow his Mama’s card just to get the truck out of impound. 

All this and he still has to cancel on his date tonight.

“I didn’t even see a line!” he yells again, recounting the events that have unfolded. “How am I supposed to take their word for it without a picture, either! And like I said, if you can’t see the line, how are you gonna know when you’ve crossed it?!” he decries.

They’ve towed his car because he parked outside the student residential boundary lines on the main street. Everyone knows this is how the city of Raleigh makes most it’s coin. Shoving parking tickets on unsuspecting co-eds.

Link never thought they’d tow his freaking car, though.

Well, his truck. To be specific.

He feels stifled, cornered, and hot. Very hot. His skin is boiling, red and he wants to punch the pillow he’s just released after screaming into it. 

His only permanent means of escape.

At least, unless he borrows Rhett's car.

“I can’t believe they wouldn’t even give me a warning! Or wait five minutes! I was only in rec center for ten minutes picking up freakin’ — these freakin’ things,” Link spits the words as he picks up and tosses the flowers back down on his desk.

They’re rumpled, now, with his tense hold and actions. Rhett gets up and fidgets with them, trying to smooth the foliage back into the nice shape it started in.

“Link, it’s okay, Lindsey is gonna understand,” Rhett explains.

“It’s not — it’s — there’s — why’s it always —  I’M SO MAD!” Link ends with, apoplectic and beyond any other way to articulate it.

“That’s okay!” Rhett tells him, since he has every right to be upset. 

“I...! Ughhhh!”  He walks over and bangs his right Reebok heel against the closet door once for good measure.

It makes a noisy sound as it bends at the overhead slide hinge that keeps it on track. Link kicks it again, seeming pleased with the audible response from the wood bending and cracking loudly in the room, like a smack to the face.

“Link!” Rhett reprimands, sure that they’ll be in trouble with their resident advisor for damaging property if Link keeps it up. 

“I’m sorry, I just! I just wanna — ‘s just been one thing after another, this year!” Link growls, continuing his pacing and returning to the wooden door again. “I’m just so — so — ARRGH!” Link fumes and before Rhett can jump up to intervene, he watches his friend punch the door.

“FFF—reak! Dang it!” Link screams.

Rhett watches, eyes wide.

“Shit!” Link yells as it hits. It gives with a loud, snap-crack and Rhett’s mouth makes a perfect “o” in reaction. 

Link’s hand goes to his mouth catching his own language. “Shit!” he cries again like he can’t stop, muffled by his hand. 

Afterwards, he’s panting and Rhett is left standing to the side staring in a bit of awe. He didn’t know Link had that in him, to be honest. “Shit, there’s a hole!” Link exclaims.

Their eyes both guiltily dart to the half-filled swear jar on Link’s desk. Usually he’s the one keeping after Rhett for saying “Hell!” or “Damn!”

Although Rhett’s said all the bad words, at some point or another, it is unlike either of them to spew out a ton of foul language in a string as Link has. 

“Swear jar?” Rhett says, mostly in question. He can tell Link’s much madder than the other times they’ve punished each other for cursing. His willingness to let it go is rife in his tone, but Link shakes his head, madder at himself for having swore and willing to pay the price.

He saunters over to his backpack and finds his wallet. “No, no, I earned it.” He tsks himself as he pulls out a few singles and strides over to the jar, tipping them in.

“You overpaid, there, bo,” Rhett advises, watching the bills settle. It was a quarter a word and Link put in three dollars. 

“‘S for the door,” Links says, shrugging. “I don’t know what the Hell I ‘s thinkin’!”

He closes his eyes. “And for that Hell, too,” he adds. “And that one!” He throws his hands up. “ARRgh!”

“Link!” Rhett yells as he slots another single dollar bill, adding to the overpayment, but cushioning the extra curses all the same. “Link, it’s — you — it’s fine!”

“It’s not fine!” Link yells. “I’m screwed. And now I’m cursing like a sailor watchin’ my favorite football team lose the playoffs!”

Rhett makes a face. “What, we talkin’ the Army-Navy game, or what?”

“Damn it, Rhett!” Link snarls. Then he closes his eyes and makes a face at his own words. “Damn it, Rhett!” He paces around, throwing his hands back around, gesticulating. “I feel like I’m trapped in some sick dirty mouth loop!”

“That sounds… why does that sound worse than the cursing?” Rhett says, joking. “Maybe you should add another dollar?”

Link sighs, dramatically, and does so. 

“Link, I was — you don’t have to actually — Link, it’s okay!” Rhett stammers out, eyes bright. He comes at Link with his hand out, like he’s asking to be heard out. “You had a horrible day, you should be allowed to vent a little!”

“Vent a little?!” Link shoots back. “I put a hole in the door!”

“Yeah, okay, maybe that wasn’t your finest moment, but you’re pissed!” Rhett explains. “I get it!”

Link throws his hands up as if to say, at least there’s that and not much else.

“You should get a pass.”

“A pass?” Link questions.

“Yeah, just for tonight.” Rhett puts his hands on his hips. “You already paid for a week’s worth of curses with my exchange rate,” Rhett jokes. 

Rhett didn’t curse much, but all the other money in the jar was his. Link’s never so much as taken the Lord’s name in vain before.

Link spares a sidelong glance and hustles back over to his backpack to return his wallet. 

“Go ahead, man, you’ve earned it. Blow off some steam!” Rhett advises.

“So, you just want me to start cursing?” Link asks, joking with a touch of condescension. “Like some — some degenerate?”

“Degenerate?” Rhett asks, laughing. “Who said anything about being a degenerate?”

“That’s who curses, Rhett!”

Rhett looks Link over and decides to try and get his mind off what’s eating him by messing with him. His favorite pastime. 

“You should say the ‘F’ word, Link,” Rhett urges, suddenly, overcome with the desire to corrupt Link. He’s a bit ashamed of it, but another side of him insists that it would be hilarious to see Link snap and start saying filthy things, even for just one night. 

Hearing him say Shit! is enough to get Rhett interested in hearing more.

Link frowns. “Fornicate?”

Rhett smirks. “Yeah, but the bad version.”

Link’s eyes go wide. “Rhett!” he puts a hand to his chest, finally settling on a posture that indicates he’s nearly at his wit’s end. Rhett beams at him. 

This is as much about teasing Link to take a night off being Mr. Perfect as it is about Rhett noticing that Link screaming Shit! also did a lot to calm him down. If he curses more, maybe he’ll feel better altogether. Plus, as established, Rhett found it hilarious to watch unfold.

In his opinion, it’s certainly worth a shot.

“C’mon, Link — let one rip!” Rhett teases and Link’s brows furrow.

Unfortunately, Rhett’s efforts to cheer him up are doing the opposite for his mood in the meantime. Link looks actively annoyed at the supposition.

“Will you please — ? We’ve established I’m having a terrible enough night as it is and I don’t need your added bull —” Link stops, then goes silent off at Rhett’s delighted expression.

“My what?” Rhett teases more. “My bullshit?”

Link’s eyes flick to the jar. Rhett makes a show of grabbing a quarter from his laundry money holder on his own desk and walking over to put it in the jar. 

“Yeah, that,” Link bullies. 

“Well, too dang bad, Link,” Rhett says, splaying his arms wide and taking in that Link is at least partly distracted from his terrible night, even while he spoke of it. “Rules are that so long as I pay up, I’m fine.”

Link huffs.

“This is —” Link starts, voice rising again in agitation.

“Uh, huh,” Rhett encourages.

“You’re such a —” Link begins and ends. Rhett’s eyebrows and eyes both dart up then turn crooked, waiting for any addition to that comment, but it never arrives.

Link starts pacing again, faster, back and forth between the dorm beds and their door. 

Rhett merely nods, waiting for more.

Finally, something in Link stops him in his tracks. Whether it’s the constant grinning nods from Rhett to egg him on, the long itinerary of Bad Things that keep on Happening, or just that Link is filled with an urge to punch the closet door again and he knows he can’t do that. 

So, he snaps, “IT IS BULLSHIT!” full volume at Rhett.

Rhett’s head nods even more swiftly, taking a deeper path up and down, like he’s bobbing over steady waves to stay afloat.

“IT’S ALL BULLSHIT!” Link repeats at the same charged decibel.

Rhett still nods more, as if to tell him to elaborate further, but Link’s anger stagnates his thinking. He just wants to keep screaming that, so he does. “IT’S ALL SUCH BULLSHIT!”

“Yeah, it is!” Rhett calls back at him, like he’s cheering him on in the stands.

“And you?!” Rhett puts a hand on his own chest as if to answer silently who me? Link’s, fired up again and pointing in Rhett’s direction. “You don’t get to have fun with this, you’re — you’re just as bad!”

“YEAH! I AM!” Rhett calls out, uncaring about being thrown into the mix as well.

“When you drove us to the rec center last weekend, we double-parked with our hazards on and took twice as long!”

Rhett exclaims, “We did!” in agreement.

“ASSHOLE!” Link yells at him.

Rhett nods. 

Link tears his fingers through his hair, overwhelmed at how out of hand his words have gotten, so quickly. His eyes stray back to the swear jar where he knows he has at least a few words to go. Disturbing though the thought, he considers also that he has more money in his wallet. 

He knows how far he’s strayed, already, from that change in priorities alone. When he looks back at Rhett, who is still giddy, waiting for him to say more, he gives up. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, in absolution.

Rhett gasps. 

He’s been waiting for Link to say that, most of all, and is shocked by how quickly they’ve arrived there. Hearing it spoken so casually, on top of it all.

“Fuck,” Link repeats again, in surprise that the word actually tumbled out of his mouth so smoothly.

“I don’t even think I’ve ever hardly thought that word before, let alone said it, now I can’t f — fuck, now I can’t stop!” Link growls at Rhett, furious at his role in what feels like a downfall.

Rhett is still aghast. His mind racing. 

He’s been waiting for the delivery and is amazed to hear Link actually do it. His mind has been picturing this as a funny joke, but Link is just standing there, mad, yelling fuck, again and again, accusatory. Rightly so. 

Rhett knows he drove Link to this, in part for his own amusement, but it doesn’t feel funny at all anymore. His cheeks feel warm.

Link’s face reddens further at Rhett’s lack of response. 

He gets up in Rhett’s face and Rhett feels himself start to back up so quickly he nearly stumbles to sit on the bed. He needs to concede this fight because it’s clear there’s a lot more pent up anger than he’s realized inside Link. 

He thinks back to the door and looks around. That did calm him briefly, but surely he can’t just punch the door again. “You should yell,” Rhett ekes out the next best thing. What Link shouted after the punch. “Yell it.”

He means the f-word, still. The way Link is saying it, it feels immoral to be saying it, too.

“FUCK!” Link yells, at his continued badgering, whether it’s in fulfillment of his request or not, Rhett couldn’t say. His body shudders in fear at how loud and direct an outburst that was.

Now, he’s worried their dorm mates are going to think they’re in an all-out fight. Rhett’s eyes scan the bed and he grabs a pillow. “Yell into this,” he offers, handing the pillow over.

Link, still looking annoyed, takes the pillow. He shoves his face against it and screams, “FUCK!” at what must be the very top of his lungs.

Rhett has to brace himself against the top bunk. He’s waiting for the punchline. 

It still hasn’t come.

Link, meanwhile, has pulled his bright red face from the pillow and takes in air in pants, looking over at Rhett. Rhett is sure he’s never looked so tough, so masculine, so — Rhett’s stomach lurches.

He knows that can’t be healthy. To consider any of those traits as a burly or cool, but he’s too concerned with why they’re making his insides tingle to interrogate it much for himself.

He offers to take the pillow back and Link hands it to him. Instead of putting it on the bed, Rhett holds it in his hands. He’s speechless, he thinks, but his head is pounding too hard to know why his mind directs him to his next request. Muscle memory, perhaps. 

Normally, Rhett would wrestle with Link until he got the anger out, but that feels absolutely impossible to initiate right now. With Link this mad, somehow Rhett worries that even being bigger and heavier, Link would find a way to win that match, looking as livid as he does.

 “Um,” Rhett starts, unable to figure out what more to say, now that Link’s gone through all that. He holds up the pillow. “Punch this,” Rhett says, not thinking about the fact that said pillow is still in his grip. He’s more focused on the mental image of sweaty, angry Link punching things again.

It’s what helped him relieve tension before, after all.

So, he pushes the pillow forward again, centering it where Link can take an easy swing in the middle and miss Rhett’s hands entirely, and waits for Link to make a move.

Soon, Link does swing, deftly, landing a soft punch on the object with a huff. Rhett can see some of the tension lock up and release from his shoulders. It’s not gone, but it must be helping. Rhett knows shooting hoops when he’s pissed always did the trick.

Link then punches again, firmer, this time, shouting, “Fuck!” along with his movements.

Then again, then a third and fourth time, until the pillow gives way and flies back towards the chair behind where Rhett stands. “Shit!” Link calls, watching it settle on the desk chair to their right. 

Rhett considers that is likely to keep happening, once Link builds back to that momentum, so he turns back and squares up. He holds a palm out behind another palm. He doesn’t ask, but Link can tell he’s being told to punch into Rhett’s open hand like it’s a boxing or pitching warm-up.

Link pulls back and slams his fist into Rhett’s palm. The taller of the two staggers back, but doesn't flinch. He puts his hand back in the same spot waiting for another. Link gives just as hard again. 

On the third hit, Rhett finally falters. The sting of the punch is too much for him to let on as harmless, when he waves his hands around the air to ease the throb. He grabs a throw blanket and drapes it two or three times around his upper chest, then motions for Link to aim there instead. 

Link gets a good hit in and Rhett is sure this way is going to last even less than his naked hand did, but he has to try to keep at it. Link is so angry, but he looks so good hitting like this, like he could star in a cologne ad or work at Abercrombie & Fitch at the mall. Rhett has to let him get the tension out. 

That’s Rhett’s job as his best friend.

Eventually, the pain is too much and he needs a break. Rhett puts a hand up in pause and sits himself on the bottom bunk and waits for Link to say something. They’re both panting with the same amount of exertion they use when they wrestle, but they still have all their clothes on.

For some reason, Rhett’s mind takes note of that.

He realizes he’s been staring at Link when Link starts to return the gaze. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” Link asks. 

Rhett blushes. “Like what?” He can’t see his face to know.

“Like I’m a sideshow exhibit,” Link tells him, throwing his hands back up in derision. “Or — or, I don’t know a piece of undercooked meat, almost.”

“What?” Rhett asks, blanching.

“Like you’re sizing me up to fight,” Link clarifies. 

Fight — Rhett considers. Quite the opposite. His mind thought Link meant piece of meat — to bite. Which sent a chill up his spine. “I-I wasn’t…”

“You were!” Link says, still crackling with tension. Rhett doesn’t have any part of his body to absorb it, any longer, he feels useless to help.

“Link…” Rhett starts to say, looking up at Link. Link still has an arm on the top bunk but now he’s leaning down a little, friendly but threatening, and Rhett’s insides start to turn over in knots. 

“You want to pound me, admit it!” Link says, impatiently.

“What?!” Rhett replies, stunned.

“You,” Link says, pointing at Rhett. “Want to pound me,” he starts only to stop and point at himself. “It’s clear as day on your face.”

“What?!” Rhett yells at him. 

“You want to pound me, Rhett. You’re so predictable,” Link elaborates, plainly. “Go ahead!”

Rhett’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. “Link, I-I…” Rhett trails off, his face blotchy and drawn.

“C’mon,” Link begs, leaning forward down at Rhett, taunting him. “Hit me!”

Rhett registers his words, understanding finally that he means to physically fight him, not to pound him as in fuck him. In Rhett’s defense, that word has been thrown around pretty casually for the first time ever and he’s racing to keep up with everything Link is doing.

Unfortunately, Rhett comes to this conclusion after he’s already leaned upwards and started kissing Link on the mouth. 

Once he’s there, realizing the grave error he’s made, he breaths a huff of air in humility as he feels Link’s mouth open in turn. Then Link’s tongue darts out to push into his. 

As the wet tip bursts in and out, rapidly, and Rhett contemplates that it’s like Link is still hitting him, in this tiny only-in-his-mouth kind of way. So, maybe Link was right and he did want to pound him but only via the mouth. Since it also felt so good, Rhett starts returning the kiss, rapid pace, and pulling Link closer. 

Link groans under his guidance, but it’s a good groan. Link rests a thigh over each of Rhett’s and sinks back on his knees, sitting over Rhett, as they continue to twist tongues. Rhett doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he moves them around to Link’s back and they naturally drift towards gripping his ass while he holds him.

Link moans into his mouth at the feeling.

Eventually, Link pulls back, leaning so there’s enough space to speak his shock. 

“Fuck, Rhett,” Link mutters. Rhett feels his dick throb and thrust up towards Link’s lap as he shifts. Rhett’s not sure when he got this hard, but it suddenly feels like he has a steel rod stuffed down his sweats. “What are we doing?” Link breathes out. “Was that — were we just kissin’? What the Hell is going on?” Link questions, desperate and aroused.

Rhett humps up another time and Link keens at the sensation. 

“I think my body just wanted to help relieve the tension of, uh, you know, all that anger and — " Rhett starts to explain, but he’s helpless to the feeling of Link rolling around in his lap and generating even more friction between their overlapping arousal. “Guess it preferred the idea of this over punching you.”

Link rocks his hips and giggles through his own enjoyment as he watches Rhett squirm. “I’m a little biased, but yeah,” Link says, grinding down more. “This does beat a punch in the face, I’ll give you that.”

They’re both panting and rubbing on each other more before Rhett reaches down to touch Link. “Honestly, I think I could —” Link says, grinding with extra effort in a way that makes Rhett feel Link’s erection evidently as it presses against his midsection. He grinds back into that area specifically.

“Yeah, same,” Rhett agrees, circling his hips in time with Link’s.

Nothin’ like some good old dry humping, for what ails ‘ya, he figures. 

Link leans down and either forgetting his initial shock or abandoning it, he captures Rhett’s mouth in another kiss. 

Before long, they start gasping for air from one another’s open mouths while their faces stay pressed together but not kissing, as they grind harder and harder where they sit. 

Rhett reaches a hand down and fondles them both at once, rubbing his sweats against Link’s khakis. Link throws his head back in pleasure. “Feel better?” he asks, hoping this has been as erotic and pleasurable for Link as it has been for him.

“Oh, shit, Rhett, yeah,” Link moans, waist canting in time with Rhett’s motions. While gripping Link’s ass, Rhett’s moved his right hand up his back to steady him with how harsh the kisses are, each time. The hand that moved to Link’s back has stayed under his tank and drifts to his front. Rhett feels around for a nipple and squeezes once when it finds purchase. 

“Oh, fuck, yeah, just like that, oh my God, fuck, FUCK!” Link bellows out, suddenly aware that Rhett is sucking kisses into his jaw and throat as his other hand, the one not on the nipple, still squeezes his ass.

“I’m gonna — I can’t stop — I’m about to,” Link begins several attempts to warn Rhett, but comes before he can finish or Rhett can respond.

Rhett’s eyes go fully wide again, in amazement, feeling Link’s dick throb and spurt laid against his own. It’s enough added heat and friction that he feels his own orgasm begin to crest unexpectedly. He hasn’t come that quick in years. Maybe ever.

Link pants through his come down, but doesn’t move to get off Rhett right away. They both remain still, clutching each other as they sit tangled limb over limb. 

“D-Did we just have sex?” Link asks, mortified, but still draped over Rhett.

“Technically,” Rhett confirms. “But it was non-penetrative, so we’re still good, I think.”

“Oh, okay, yeah,” Link says back, his eyes far off. 

“You sure that’s okay?” Rhett asks, looking for Link to meet his gaze and assure him that is.

He does, but he speaks his mind, to clarify anything not given away by his crooked grin. “No, I was askin’ ‘cause I wanna do it again.”

Rhett’s eyes light up.

“A lot,” Link explains. 

“Fuck,” Rhett moans, softly, brushing a thumb to Link’s lower lip. 

He joins their mouths again.

Link cuts the kiss short, with a hand between them, however, and gives Rhett a stern look. Rhett knows in that moment and any proceeding it, he’ll do anything Link asks of him. 

Rhett’s glazed eyes spin focus to Link’s face again to figure out what that will be this time. Link nods his head towards the half-empty jar on his desk. 

“Pay up.”