#anyone. being able to be a individual... okay i might be projecting

[official-nina-hopkins]

Actually criminal that there does not seem to be any "Heart/Soul/Mind in the real world" fics. In my opinion

[knickynoo]

Headcanons for what Marty and Jennifer are like as parents, and how Doc/his family interact with the kids?

Anon, this is such a late reply, and I'm sorry. I'm making a concerted effort to finally get to some of the asks I've been neglecting.

Also, I'm almost positive that I once made a post of Marty and Jen as parents headcanons, but I must have forgotten to add a link in my pinned post, and the Tumblr search function is useless, so I can't find it. Anyway, I may end up repeating some of what I put in there or even contradicting it, lol.

Of course, I'm going with the improved, happy Jen and Marty marriage timeline for this. So, as parents, they're a pretty united front. They're both very involved in all aspects of the kids' lives from the start and excited to embark on such a wonderful journey for their family.

Being first-time parents and also having twins leaves Marty and Jen utterly exhausted for, like, a solid year or two. They're happy, but they're tired. As such, they're sure to divide up the work, take over for the other when needed, and also rely pretty heavily on family for support. Jen's parents help out a lot, as do George and Lorraine. I can see Aunt Linda and Uncle Dave stopping by a good deal as well to help with tasks around the house or just watch the twins for a little while so Marty and Jen can sleep.

Doc and Clara play a very big role in the kids' lives! Of course! Doc and Clara love those McFly kids!!! Makes me lose my mind to think about. They don't even wait to be called upon or anything; they just show up at the house, announce they're taking Junior and Marlene for the day, hand a home-cooked meal to Jen and Marty, and then leave. Marty and Jen are incredibly thankful for their help, and Doc and Clara love having babies around again.

Doc is like the very chaotic uncle, but in like...the most responsible way. He's got Dad-Mode down pat at this point, and he slips right into it with Junior and Marlene, but he also knows how to let them have some (supervised) wild fun. He plays games that teach them science concepts and lets them help with small projects of his when they're able to do it safely. He also reads lots of Jules Verne to them. Marty definitely calls Doc one day and goes, "Junior and Marlene are playing an elaborate game of Around the World in 80 Days outside. Can I assume this is your influence?" The kids also start digging a giant hole in the yard at some point, and that's how Marty and Jen know they've started reading Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Clara absolutely dotes on the twins every opportunity she gets. They both find such comfort in her presence and love spending time with her. She has a special place in her heart for Junior. On nice nights, she takes Junior and Marlene outside to sit on blankets and look at the stars. She teaches them about the constellations and the stories that go with them.

Okay, this is something I know I mentioned in that other post I can't find: Marty writes individual songs for Junior and Marlene that he sings to them at night. It starts off as something he does to help them sleep at night, but it's a tradition that continues until the kids are much older.

Jennifer likes to involve the kids in as many experiences as possible, so she's always looking for little art classes they can take, museums to take them to, hobbies to introduce to them, etc. She also sets aside days every so often where she just takes one kid along for an afternoon of doing something special with them that align to their interests. Maybe on those days, Marty takes the other kid and does the same.

Lately, I've been thinking about Marty and Jen having a third child at some point and what that scenario would look like. One thing I know for sure is that they would not have an "M" name.

You'd sent this ask in late September, and I ended up writing two Doctober chapters that include Marty, Jen, the kids, and Doc and Clara! I'll link them in case anyone might be interested :) HERE & HERE

Thanks for the ask!

[archersxartxblog]

Master post

finally got this one done, might as well post it today.

Chapter 26

Math

Why the heck did it have to be math?

Akari sighed as she paced back and forth, running over Unxie's question with her mind in an attempt to find the answer. 

" Combee, Zubat,Unown, Magneton, Dusclops, how many are their eyes? Tell me one by one but all at once."

Okay, so it wasn't technically a math quiz, but she was guessing that Unxie wanted her to figure out how many eyes each pokemon had and then condense it into a single number.

At least that's what she hoped Unxie wanted. 

Behind her the twins sat against the wall with Irida, safe and sound, chatting quietly with each other and sometimes their clan leader. 

Lampent floating casually through the air near the three. A precautions made Lil Ingo with the hopes that she could keep any psychic intrusion at bay. Given what happened at the last two lakes. 

Luckily, Unxie didn't seem to be up to such shenanigans. And Akari wasn't about to tell him that Lampent might not be able to do much against the power of one of the lake guardians. If having the ghost out of her pokeball made him feel safe she wasn't about to take that from him.

She couldn't help but notice the large gap between those of the Pearl clan and Volo. But really she thought nothing of it. Ingo and Emmet weren't really outgoing individuals, at least not with anyone new. Ingo tended to be quite shy until you got to know him, and Emmet wasn't really a big talker. top that off with all the nonsense happening at the moment on top of that and Akari could understand we the two hadn't been overly friendly towards the merchant.

As for Irida, well she was the leader of the Pearl clan, so anyone who made members of her clan feel uncomfortable would no doubt rub her the wrong way as well.

But with any luck, once all this was solved, proper introductions could be made and twins could warm up to Volo the way she had.

That being said…

This would all be solved a lot faster, if she could ask for a bit of help.

But alas… Unxie had made its point very clear that this challenge was for her and her alone. The pokemon even went so far as to put up a soundproof barrier around the two of them.

Now how many eyes did a combee have? Most pokemon only had two, but then again, combee had three heads. So was it two to each head? So that would be six, right?

And what about Zubat? Did they even have eyes? She honestly wasn't sure, she'd never really looked that hard. Maybe she could check her pokedex ?

And a Magneton? They had one eye right? No, wait, that wasn't that magnemite? She hadn't even seen a magnemite since she got here, at least not outside Ingo's team. Magneton was the three magnemites stuck together, right?

Unown and Dusclops were easy at least. They both only had one eye each.

"Are you ready to answer?" The lake guardian asked, and Akari was positive that the lake guardian was staring down at her through its closed eyelids. 

Was she…

"Yes," She nodded, taking a deep breath.

She wasn't going to be able to fix anything if she stayed here second-guessing herself.

Akari just hoped that her answer was right.

"Your answer then…"

"It's…"

—

"Why didn't you wanna catch the Alpha Zoroark?" Ingo asked as he leaned against the wall of the cave, watching as Akari paced back and forth deep in thought on the other side of Unxie's barrier. 

His brother sat next to him with a deep pout on his face as he turned the empty pokeball around in his hands.

"That big Zoroark would have made a great part of your team." He continued, glancing over at his twin. "You would have been the first one of us to catch and train an Alpha. And there's no way it would run away on you."

"Yeah, but…" Emmet sighed, his eyes locked on the handmade ball in his hands. "It's not my Zoroark… and I want my Zoroark."

Guess he couldn't really argue with that logic. 

Ingo probably wouldn't be too keen on just catching a replacement to one of his pokemon, even if it would be cool to have an Alpha as part of their team.

"To think your father lets you near a Zoroark. He, out of everyone, should know how dangerous they are." Ingo heard Lady Irida mutter from the otherside of his brother. Less than happy about the topic of discussion. "A Gyarados and now a Zoroark, maybe I should have a talk with your father about what kind of pokemon are appropriate for children."

Right, while Lady Irida had talked a big game about Ingo's Gyarados, the moment she had been confronted with actually interacting with the pokemon her resolve started to fade. Emmet had never been fond of flying but it had been Lady Irida who had been the quickest to get off Gyarados's back.

She had been even less pleased to learn about Emmet’s Zoroark.

“There are much more dangerous Pokemon at our Uncle’s house. Yep! He trains dragon types, wrestles them too.” Emmet chipped in, a slight smile returning to his face, and Ingo couldn’t help but feel homesick once again at the mention of his uncle.

“That doesn’t exactly make me feel better.” Irida sighed leaning back against the walls. “Since you both have a strange form of Pokeball, I assume you have them back in your homeland. So I am guessing your Uncle does not just let these dragons roam your home so freely, would that be correct?” she asked before muttering quietly something along the lines of ‘Almighty Sinnoh forgive me, for I am starting to see use behind these devices’.

Ingo hummed a bit in thought. It felt like it had been almost a year since he and his brother had been at his Uncle’s place even if it had only been a couple of months. Uncle Drayden was probably really worried about them. 

“Yeah, sometimes. Larger ones, and new catches mostly.” He answered with a simple shrug, remembering how their Uncle allowed his partners and new hatches to wander the halls of his house. while fresh catches and newly evolved Dragon Pokemon were kept in Pokeballs and were only allowed out in the yard until they were trained up. He missed being Woken up by Axew crawling into bed with him, and seeing his Uncle spare with his Flygon out in the yard. “Dragon Pokemon can be like big Growlithes when they're trained right.”

“I guess that makes sense, though it would be better not to interact with such dangerous creatures to begin with and just let them be, in my opinion.” Lady Irida shook her head, looking down at Emmet’s belt. “But if interacting and bonding with such dangerous pokemon is normal where you are from I suppose the use of Pokeballs would come in handy, especially  for children.” 

she paused and hummed a bit in thought, as she reached down and plucked Elektrik’s ball from his brother’s belt, causing Emmet to squawk in protest. “Though these contraptions seem to be much sturdier than those used by the Galaxy Team.” she turned the ball over in her hand, running her hands over the smooth surface. “But it does seem very resource intensive, they must be quite expensive to make.” She handed the ball back to his twin. 

“Expensive? They only cost 200 poke-Ow! Ingo!”

It was a bit of a knee-jerk reaction, roughly digging his elbow into his brother’s side. But it was the only thing Ingo could think to do to get Emmet to stop talking.

“Y-yeah! They're really Expensive to make… reason why Trainers-ah- Pokemon wielders in Unova only tend to have one. Unless they take the path of the Dragon master…” It was probably his worst lie yet. 

Even Emmet was giving him a look that said ‘what the heck are you talking about’.

but he panicked, forgetting all the history lessons both school and his Uncle had drilled into his head. So he just made something up. 

It was better than hinting they might be from the future, right? Sure they had not been that careful before, and really it was only a working theory currently, but there was no reason they couldn’t be watching their wording from here on out.

And if a normal Pokeball from their time looked resource intensive to someone in Hisui then it was probably best to play into that scarcity…right? 

Even if most kids their age could probably get about five of them with a week's worth of allowance down at the local Pokemart.

“Ah, yes. That would make sense." Irida smiled, giving a slight nod. Effectively turning Emmet's disbelieving look on to her.

Ingo couldn't believe it either…she actually bought that.

"Perhaps, should your Uncle travel to Hisui, you can give him the recipe for The Galaxy team's pokeballs to take back with him." She continued, seemingly oblivious to the twin's befuddlement. "I am sure he would find them much more cost-effective for pokemon like Litwick and Tynamo. Your father has seemed to take a shine to them, much to my displeasure."

"Ye-yeah…I-I'm sure he would like th-that…" Ingo stuttered trying to ignore the fact that it would very much be unlikely that their uncle even could travel to hisui, unless there was some major rip in reality in chargestone cave. 

He also didn't like the implication that if by some chance their Uncle did come to Hisui, that they wouldn't be returning with.

But before either he or Emmet could even reply, the odd yellowish glow of the barrier started to noticeably fade, as Akari started to make her way towards them.

"Akari!" Ingo yelled, wincing slightly as his voice cracked with the volume. 

It wasn't like he was excited to get away from this conversation or anything. No, not at all. They had a job to do, and a world that needed saving…yeah that was it.

"Did you get the last piece?" He cracked, standing up and running over to the teen, his brother in tow.

"Yep!" Akari answered, holding up her prize, which was some kind of claw. "So this is the last piece we need." She smiled as she put the claw into her satchel. "Now we can form the Red Chain and close the rift and everything can go back to normal.

how a plume, a fang and a claw were going to form a chain that was capable of closing the rift was beyond Ingo. But he wasn't about to question it if it worked.

"Now, all we have to do is head to the Shrouded Ruins in the Mirelands."

Ingo nearly jumped out of his skin as the merchant spoke up. He had completely forgotten Volo was with them.

"Then let's hurry." Akari nodded, jogging towards the exit, with Irida and Volo in tow.

Ingo had just been about to follow them, recalling Lampent back into her ball, when Emmet suddenly punched him hard in the shoulder.

"Ow! Emmet?!"

"That was for elbowing me in the ribs." Emmet shot back with a frown causing the two to look indistinguishable from each other briefly. "That really hurt, Ingo!"

"I know, I know. I panicked!" Ingo replied, rubbing his sore arm. "But we shouldn't talk about stuff from home with people here."

"Why not?"

"Cause…um…" He didn't know how far the others were or how far his voice might travel through the tunnel. "Remember that thing I mentioned back at Lake Verity? When we were looking for the entrance to the cave."

His brother hummed, bringing a finger to his chin as he tilted his head in thought. "The only thing you told me was…you figured out where we really are, yep, but you wouldn't say any more. You said you'd tell me later."

Oh, right… 

Guess he forgot to tell Emmet…

He’d been so worried about other stuff that he had completely brushed it off.

Passing out at the first Lake probably didn’t help matters either.

“So is it later?” Emmet asked, giving him an expectant look.

“Y-yeah… ah…” Ingo paused trying to get his words together. “ I think…Okay…maybe it’s still just…um…a theory…but I think…we’re in…Sinnoh?”

“What?!”

“I mean it.” Ingo pushed, starting to pace back and forth. “Think about it, Emmet. Lake Verity,Lake Valor, and Lake Acuity. The Lake Guardians, Mesprit, Azelf, and Unxie.Mt Coronet!” he rounds on his brother. “What other region do you know of that has all of that!”

Emmet was slightly taken aback by this, his eyes darting back and forth from his twin to the interior of the cave. “But Sinnoh has cities, maybe not as many as Unova. They have Gyms and a Pokemon League. Hisui does not.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s true…But…” Dragons, his brother is probably going to think he’s going insane. “A-and, please, just trust me on this, but I think Hisui might be some kind of ancient version of Sinn-”

“Hey! What are you kids talking about?!” 

Ingo’s jaw snapped shut quickly, making him wince as he felt his teeth click together, and Emmet swung around in surprise only to see the merchant walking towards them.

Was there no privacy in this cave?

"I was just telling Emmet, that they would probably hear me down in the Pearl clan settlement if I screamed right now." Ingo replied quickly, forcing himself to meet Volo's eye, as he moved closer to his twin. "Wanna find out if I'm right?"

Ingo held the merchant's gaze for as long as he could, thankful for once that his face wasn't as expressive as his brother’s.

He was fine.

 He and his brother were safe. 

Volo couldn't hurt them. 

Lady Irida and Akari were just outside of the cave, all he had to do was scream and they would come running.

To Ingo's surprise Volo was the first one to look away, closing his eyes and giving a little shrug and a smile Ingo almost thought looked genuine.

 "If your vocal range is as loud as Akari says it is, then I think they'd probably hear you all the way in Jubilife village." Merchant laughed, throwing the boy off by how casual it came off. "But maybe we can test that later." He turned away, motioning for the twins to follow him. "Common, Akari's waiting on you two."

Ingo could feel his brother shift uncomfortably behind him, as he kept his eyes locked on the merchant's back. Trying to figure out what it was Volo had planned.

“You two coming?” Volo paused in his step when the twins didn’t immediately start to follow him. 

His fingers tighten around Lampent's pokeball. 

The last thing Ingo wanted to do was to follow Volo anywhere. 

In fact he would have preferred if the Merchant just left him and his brother alone so he could continue talking to his brother in private.

But…Volo had a point.

Akari was waiting for them.

Besides, Ingo wasn't fond of being trapped in a dead-end cave with only one exit. It didn't turn out so well for them last time. even if Volo did leave them alone, that strange pokemon from before could be lurking anywhere.

So, he carefully took his brother’s hand and hurried towards the exit with Volo.

"There you two are." Akari greeted them as they finally exited the cave. "I was starting to think another space-time rift took you away."

"Nope. Still here." Emmet stated, rushing forward toward the teen, dragging his brother behind him as he put some more distance between them and Volo.

"So, we're heading to the Shrouded Ruins to forge the Red Chain." Volo stepped forward with a smile. "That will be quite the trip back to the Mirelands." He glanced towards the twins before turning his attention to Lady Irida. "I assume you and the twins will be taking Gyarados once more."

Almost without thinking, Ingo reached for Gyarados's pokeball, barely noticing how white lady Irida got.

“No!”

Ingo nearly dropped his pokeball, as all eyes suddenly turned to Irida after that outburst.

"I mean" She coughed into her hand trying to compose herself once more. "The journey to the Icelands was no doubt quite long and tiresome. I would hate to impose once more on one of Almighty Sinnoh's… mighty… children, once more before they have had a proper rest." She explained, head held high in an attempt not to look anyone in the eye. "Akari, would you mind summoning both Lord Wyrdeer and Lord Ursaluna."

"Sure, but what's your idea Lady Irida?" Akari asked.

"Well, since one of the twins will eventually be trained to take their father’s place as Warden." Irida reached behind her back and pulled out the flute she had kept tied in her bow. "What better time to start that training than now." She smiled and held the flute out towards the two brothers.

—

The sound of distant flute playing flowed on the wind, causing Lady Sneasler’s to halt her step and look over towards her Warden.

That call, she knew it well…

It was the summoning tune the Wardens and Akari used to call on the nobles. And though it had not been directed at her, it still got her attention.

That sound, and the heart it belonged to, she knew it well.

It belonged to her Warden, who was only a few feet from her, crouched low in the bushes as he watched two Galaxy team grunts set up camp.

It sound was wobbly, and slightly off key, and nowhere near are loud, sounding alot like it had when Ingo had first started as Warden. 

But it was undoubtedly his call.

Slowly she walked over to him, and gave him a small nudge with her claw. She was almost positive that it was truly her Warden, his small was correct, but she just wanted to make sure. 

It would not be the first time that young Emmet’s Zoroark tried to pull the wool over her eyes.

“My Lady, please” Her Warden whispered, pushing her claw away gently, his eyes lingering on the grunts before looking up at her. “We must tread carefully, or risk being caught.”

So, she was correct. Her Warden was right here.

Then why was she hearing his call somewhere out towards the icelands?

She listened once more, trying to see if she could hear the call once more, but sadly all she could hear was the sounds coming from the rift. Maybe the call had come from the rift to begin with?

Suddenly her Warden ducked lower into the bushes, and the horrible sound of clanking metal could be heard approaching the camp.

Sneasler quickly ducked down next to her Warden, her eyes narrowing as she saw a tall human adorned in metal plates walking towards the camp. His human face fur and stern look reminded her slightly of an Abomasnow.

“Commander!” a pair of grunts called as they ran towards the man. 

“We have secured the campgrounds as well as the path to the tunnel leading to the summit.” 

“Beni is currently setting up supplies further up in cave”

“Good,” the human in metal nodded. “Once everyone is ready, we’ll will being our final push towards the summit.”

“Right!” one of the grunts brought a hand to their forehead before quickly removing it and running off. 

But the other remained behind.

“Is there something else you wish to add?” the armored human, the commander questioned turning his gaze towards the remaining human in red.

“Y-yes sir.” the human seemed to wither under his gaze a bit. “The-the Diamond clan Warden has been poking around the base camp, demanding to know what we are doing.” he paused. “It has been very distracting, as he will not take our rejections as a proper answer. And a few of us even got lost and attacked in Wayward Cave after he removed all the torches.”

“It would seem Melli has done his part to delay the Galaxy team’s departure.” Ingo whispered, keeping his voice as low as possible as he spoke. “Though I must remember to get the boys to replace those torches once this is all said and done.”

The Commander was quiet for a moment, his eyes closed as he let out a low hum. “Inform Warden Melli that if this continues then we will remove him if necessary.” The Commander continued passed human in red, his hand resting on his strange human weapon. “Let us hope it does not come to that, but we can apologize to Lord Adaman once we have taken care of the threat trying to push its way through the rift.”

“Looks like Warden Melli has worn out his welcome.” Sneasler looked towards her Warden as he slowly started to back away from the bushes, still keeping as low as he could. “Let us try and find him, before the Commander’s Men do.”

“Snee.”

[slowpoke272]

“the stand” by stephen king

finished: january 2, 2023

oof where to begin. WHERE TO BEGIN

this is my third stephen king novel, i read “IT” in 2019 and read “’salem’s lot” in 2020. i really like stephen king and while i completely understand the desire to bring his stories to the big screen (and many of them are movies/shows worth seeing, too) i think his stories flourish as written word. just makes it so much more thrilling and without any limitations of visuals. stephen king knows our minds are our greatest thrill and he uses that to his advantage.

“the stand” i had heard was the one that was “just like 2020″ because of a deadly virus. it had been described to me like this on an individual and global standpoint: it’s marketed as an apocalyptic novel. and it’s very, very lengthy.

just in case, spoilers ahead?

so we do start off with big scary virus, only unlike the real 2020 pandemic, this one is totally manmade and comes with hefty criticism of the military as they are the ones handling this whole “project.” everything is maintained in labs and all is well until it isn’t, all it takes it one slip up one time from one guard and BAM, end of the world. pretty poetic huh. even though how it happens is way different, to me the most relatable thing is that it’s so believable that something so destructive would be hanging by a thread and upon it being unleashed, humanity has zero preparation to stop it and very little of the population even knows it exists as a threat.

shit hits the fan and we see the trickle effect quickly in action across the county, state, and country. there is an absolute explosion of characters and you can tell king is gonna save some of these characters but definitely a lot of people will be dying. even though you know their demise is coming, it’s still a bit terrifying how some of them come to pass.

frannie right away is our darling heroine, pregnant and without her mother’s love or blessing, we’re drawn to her right away. nick andros was my favorite character immediately, there was just something so charming about him, and he was already so resilient by the time the plague happened. nick and tom cullen’s relationship had to be my favorite bond of the whole novel, the impossibility of their communication is thrillingly tragic but we’re still able to have hallmark moments between the two of them.

i didn’t know what to think of stu for the longest time, for some reason i thought he might end up being like a harold, i guess solely on stu’s east texas context and what he was doing when the accident happened. just didn’t see him being any kind of hero but simply getting by. just like in real life, our first impressions can be very misguided. larry underwood became a fun surprise with his character arc, in fact i think more than anyone else, larry was completely redeemed. really didn’t care much about him at all after rita died, but when he came in contact with nadine and leo, it showed that he was grateful for a clean slate and ready to change. he was a totally different person after that and i slowly came to like him.

harold. you meet him and are disgusted, like frannie you can easily go with ignoring his existence entirely. then you find out a little bit more about him, how he was trying to be thoughtful to frannie, and how he stuck by her to get her out of town... started liking the guy and sympathizing with him. then stu comes along and harold’s jealousy takes center stage in his character arc and it never leaves. it’s like, okay, i get it to an extent, you have a “special” connection with fran because you knew her before the world ended, but once it’s clear the other person doesn’t feel the same way... let it go, man. even if you’re the only two people left on earth, it doesn’t give you any entitlement to anyone or mean that your connection is infinite.

by the time to get to mother abigail’s, the story has already taken on a form i didn’t expect to see coming. this is my third king novel so i felt like, duh, of course there’s gonna be some magical realism going on and of course there are going to be unforeseen twists. king does a great job of creating his universe, one that is just close enough to ours to be relatable, but one he can play in and set the rules for and we’re still just as hooked. the point isn’t whether or not you believe in magic, the point is what the characters are doing with the magic and the likelihood that people would behave this way, and 100% of the time i agree with king regarding predictable human behavior.

this novel is mostly about good vs. evil and humanity’s struggle to keep itself thriving with community without imploding in on itself. the fact that all these characters even survived is a miracle, that they were able to find each other despite no electricity or power is beyond a miracle, but even with all that good fortune on their side, humans have a way of ruining it. you would think collaboration and community would make us stronger, and it does, but king postulates that once a community becomes large enough, it’s only a matter of time before you have a harold, a trashcan man, or worse: a randall flagg.

there are some really graphic moments, including various illnesses and injuries that happen throughout the boulder and vegas communities, a sexual assault, but the most horrifying scene to me was lloyd henreid in the jail. “camptown races.” i really felt his hopelessness, and despite him being an absolutely shitbag previously by killing people, i still thought lloyd’s punishment was way too big for his crimes. i don’t think anyone deserves that. and to have him rescued by randall flagg, a hopeless situation becomes more hopeless in a way because lloyd was very much still imprisoned with flagg.

this novel was so magical to me, hitting all the right elements of “humanity is this dumb and would totally do this.” the ending is superb and not worth spoiling even behind a tag. just go read it. definitely will want to read it again someday, especially knowing which characters survive the longest, i’ll want to pay extra attention to the clues we’re given about their fates early on.

i thought “IT” would remain my favorite king novel, being my first and the one that pulled me in to his writing at all... but i don’t know, “the stand” is so good and has so many layers and while there’s a villain, we learn so much about humanity on the way and our role allowing a villain in. “IT” is my favorite coming of age novel, without a doubt, and i love the way it tackles fear for fear’s sake, but i think “the stand” is a story anyone could enjoy without being too freaked out with fear. i don’t know, it’s hard to pick one over the other when i just adore both so much, but days later i’m really still thinking about “the stand” and the characters and everything that happened.

i read about the two adaptations, one in the 90s and one from 2020, the one in the 90s seems to have the right thing going for it to pay respects to the original story, but the changes i read that the 2020 adaptation made are hard for me to push aside. it’s just not the same story anymore and i think the original story in its original format is best. i do like a lot of 2020′s casting, but that’s about it. i don’t feel obligated to see either one, but i will definitely re-read “the stand” again someday.

rip nicky. you were the best. glen, you were also great. kojak, good boy.

rating: 10/10 this deeply resonated with me, i will re-read it again numerous times and recommend it to anyone i know, the story and characters will stick with me forever; crave discussing it all the time and bring it up unprovoked

[servingcuntry]

i just. need to get this out.

for one, i'm probably making myself upset and i'm probably the problem. i think all of the fucked up shit is just building up, so tw for ocd, anorexia, and just an overall vent ig (this isn't anyone's fault, i'm just struggling rn <3)

for about 2 months, i only ate a meal a day; this past week, i've been trying to eat three meals (it's harder because my stomach shrank + i have ibs). some days, i've eaten 2 (which is still good!!!) but i've also gone most days with eating 1 ... i think i actually only ate 3 meals once or twice this week. and it makes me feel worse because i've been super fucking greedy and i've been snacking if i don't eat that much. i'm not even hungry, i'm just overeating when i don't need to. i know that. i know better. i'm dramatic.

then, my mom likes to check on me, which is good. i'm not diagnosed with anything (sorry if self-diagnosing is bad, i swear i've done thorough research before labeling myself. i'm seeing a specialist soon), so she just likes to throw words around when she doesn't understand. she gets mad at me for forgetting. i wish forgetting was optional, but maybe it's my fault. i don't think about/to do something i've never done before? i'm fucking lazy. sorry. i don't/can't eat? i'm lazy, i need to stop forgetting, i don't want to feel better, apparently. if i told you that i didn't forget most of the time, that i didn't want to eat, that i actually hate this shit and don't feel like it, you'd get pissed because you don't understand. so i'll keep being lazy and forgetful until i'm ready to tell you i'm struggling. (or, maybe it's just my ibs!!! i might be letting it take over since i'm such a lazy fuck <3 i'm clearly capable of snacking when i know i don't need to!!!!!)

let's not forget the side comments i make!! so fucking stupid!!! why do i keep talking about having disorders when i'm not diagnosed? what if i'm totally wrong and dramatic? what if they're just excuses for my actions!!!!!!!!!! i also lie about not being able to sleep!!!! i'm just a fucking idiot who says shit she doesn't have the right to say!!!! i could probably sleep if i tried, but nooo, i just have to stay up!!! and lie about it!! it's fucking pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want something to be wrong with me!!

and i'm fucking SICK of these intrusive thoughts, not even kidding. i won't go into detail, but i fucking hate them. they make me hate myself, they make me sad, they confuse me, they piss me off, they affect my decision making, they make me feel like a shit person, they make me worry about everything, they put images in my head, they put thoughts in my head, i just hate it.

and it's my fucking fault.

i'm lazy. i want, i need to overwork myself until i can't anymore, until i'm physically and mentally unable to. i want to have an overly-productive and workaholic mindset, that way, i can feel like shit when i don't do what i need to, and instead of just feeling bad, i keep doing work. i keep working and trying so that i can be ahead instead of behind, or even just where i'm supposed to be. because i'm sick of being stuck. it hurts, i feel bad and lazy. i am lazy. i hate this. i need to work, i need to want to work.

and i'm a sick mess of filth, an attention-seeker, and a mentally fucked individual!!!! sorry if this was a lot, might delete later, but i'm not okay as much as the disgusting voice that projects intrusive thoughts in my head tries to tell me otherwise!!!! fuck YOU!!!

[eimearkuopio]

😂😂😂😂😂

Okay so when I was 20 they finally diagnosed me with "Asperger's syndrome" because it was a long time ago. These days I go with autism. I can tell you it definitely came from my dad's side of the family.

When I was maybe 24 or 25 I participated in a research project that involved using fMRI on autistic individuals. They did make several loud and pointed comments about ADHD and my parents and I both did explain that I could focus on things very easily for a very long time, so I couldn't possibly have ADHD.

I have all nine inattentive-type ADHD traits but only two of the hyperactive-impulsive types. That for sure came from mum's side of the family. I was 33 when I finally got that diagnosis. Finally got medicated in October 2019.

As I get the impression some people may have noticed, my mental health is...iffy. But also, nobody is actually sure if "divine mania" is genuinely supernatural or not. I am also not sure! But based on how fucking weird my life has been this summer, I can only conclude that someone somewhere knows what the fuck is going on, and that things are going to get better.

I know we're in a story. That's not the question. I don't even think I'm the sole protagonist, which is a relief because... No thank you. I think we're in a video game and the Pauli Exclusion Principle is a way of storing two related pieces of information necessary for the simulation to arbitrary precision using finite memory somewhere, if anyone is curious. I also think we're going to get to run for as long as we keep from absolutely wiping ourselves out, and we are currently closer than we have ever been on that front but I think my player just completed a pacifist run (aside from unskippable cut scenes) and while that's not a sufficient condition to guarantee the "best" outcome, it IS a necessary one and the rest is up to the other PCs. I know enough about agent-based simulations and AI to think it's possible we can still pull this off. There are scripted events and everything in between is a best-fit approximation, probably using some kind of spline system.

I do think life is better when I have my own copy of the lid of the jigsaw. Some people tried to share theirs but they needed it too and they were working really hard to get their pieces in order. I have a lot of weird pieces that didn't seem to fit together at first, and I'm not going to claim the picture I seem to have constructed is the objective correct one, but I'm still proud enough of whatever I have figured out to be willing to share it. I don't know if it's a case of carcinogenesis resulting in convergent evolution of a new species of crab, or recessive genes reappearing unexpectedly, or the spirit of our century expressing itself as a kind of collective doomsayer weirdness, but I choose careful optimism every time. I might be wrong, but that's true anyway.

I have definitely had a rough summer of it. But basically, I'm autistic, and I have an overdeveloped sense of justice, and I am just about functional enough to be able to overrule that in favour of a clear written code of conduct; but after a lifetime of being told I had to follow other people's rules that went against my instincts, but also, they didn't and I just had to forgive them, I may have snapped and just let the ADHD heal whatever the autism was going through.

It definitely feels like I have become a lowercase-g god. I know a lot of people my age and younger who have similar issues to me. I think it's time we start a union and begin negotiating with the elders who keep telling us we're the problem. Even if that may result in becoming a new and different problem, that's the next generation's issue (and I truly hope it won't). We have enough to deal with. If they were waiting for a sign from God, I genuinely can't tell if this is an attempt to convince me to claim I'm God (I am not God), but apparently there's a nova and a comet and a second fucking moon? So. Y'all can figure it out. I need a nap. And a few more members for the union.

Side note: in Irish the term for disabled person is "duine le Dia". We usually translate this as "one whom God is with", but technically speaking, it would more accurately be translated as "a person who has a god".

I saw the reblog string about EGS and.

What is EGS and would you reccomend it?

El Goonish Shive is a webcomic that started back when webcomics were allowed to be fun little personal projects and not movie-quality art pieces made by already-successful professional artists. It's a fun lighthearted story of a bunch of teenagers having wacky magical adventures and solving mysteries. Like a lot of webcomics from its day, there's a lot of silly humour and genderbending shenanigans, and like a lot of webcomics from its day, it becomes significantly more complex and better made as the artist learns his craft.

The reason I'm pointing all of this out is because it's a really fun little time and I do recommend it, but I need to warn you that it starts like this:

because this is now teenagers learning their craft on the internet in 2002 wrote webcomics. I'm mentioning this because to younger readers who weren't there, I know this can be off-putting.

That out of the way, it's a fun adventure with a lot of magical transformation, young queer teens finding themselves and gaining the courage to be who they are, and alien/interdimensional politics. Watching the artist grow both politically and as an artist as he grows up is great. So if that's your bag, you'll have a lot of fun with egs. If it's not your bag, you won't.

The early years, being drawn by a teenager with internet access, also have a fair bit of not-very-disguised fetish material, so also be warned about that. (This was also the norm in this era of webcomic.)

[therapytalks]

Dear Group,

I’m afraid to talk about myself in the fear that I’ll come off self-centered, and every time I talk, that’s how I feel. It no doubt stems from the relationship with my family. They always talked with the intention to garner sympathy, make you feel like a trophy, or simply to feel less than them. It’s engraved this constant need to analyze the situation to avoid conflict or the feeling of dismissal. That might have been realized at this point, but I hope it’s okay. It’s been nice not seeing that pattern repeat itself.

I want to reprogram a lot of these habits. These realizations happened a couple of years ago when Autism was introduced via a friend and nephew. All of the sudden I had a sense of self.

Finally understanding why staying up to pace in group conversations was hard, or why I could be thinking of something, but not able to communicate it – unless it was a one-on-one conversation without variables. Why I would keep one song on repeat when it was loud or reiterate something off the television when I enjoyed it, either for the way it sounded or because of emotions.  This inevitably led to a multiyear and continuous hyper fixation on mental health and psychology. Which for the first time ever, offered the ability to love myself and the ability to hold conversations with friends. Something I’ve been struggling with for as long as I can remember.

This is what a large sum of Autistics do, and that’s called “infodumping”. What it entails is when a person can deep dive into a topic, because of a hyper fixation on a special interest. For anyone who is curious, a special interest is a an item or hobby that the Autistic individual has a vast knowledge on. For some, this attribute is rather difficult to navigate because most of the time it’s not welcomed when it involves, correcting someone or in the form of delivering advice. However, from an emotional stand point, it makes complete sense that someone would not like to receive either of the for mentioned. Nonetheless, my delivery of the latter needs refining and that’s one of the reasons why I’m here. To learn how not to take life so seriously.

More urgently, there’s a lot more important topics at hand. That being, TrAumAA and the confusion regarding my sexual orientation. You see, my childhood was that weird in between of not traumatic but traumatic. As in there’s no doubt worse situations, but mine was lacking, so unlike most I don’t hold a grudge – at least with certain family members. And because I’m being so honest,  I’m not so sure about that. It’s hard to talk about but there’s certain things that feel horrible, but I can’t remember. There’s a firm belief that I’m repressing it for my own good – at least until I’m ready to fully process it. As for my gender and sexual identity, a part of me believes it’s tied into the trauma that alludes me. A friend once said that someone close to them projected a more masculine appearance around men, due to the trauma they experienced from their father. It resonated with me. The want to be masculine for traumatic reasons. Yet, my heart and soul screams the need to be femmy. Somedays I feel that’s me to the fullest definition of that concept. But I still do not know if I like boys, girls, personalities or if it’s that I need a connection with them. All of it confusing to the point where, if asked, I say bisexual and nonbinary to avoid the endless probing questions.

So yeah, there’s a lot to talk about when referring to as of why I’m here and who I am. Which until, now the only progress has been on the topic of neurodivergency, and when comparing them the other much vaster problems, it’s only the beginning. And I’m extremely grateful I’m able to do it in a safe space, so thank you y’all for being so welcoming. It’s already made such a big difference.

-love y’all <3-

[robininthelabyrinth]

Imagine if Meng Shi begged and bargained and collected favors till she was able to send her A-Yao to education with the Lan Sect, perhaps even become a cultivator with them. Would he take that change? Would he become a rogue cultivator? Would the strict rules help curb his inner muderimpuls or enrage him or teach him to hide better?

A Good Fit - ao3

“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am sure,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.

Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.

“It'll be a good fit,” she added.

“Then I’ll go to the Lan sect,” he said, and pretended not see the way his mother relaxed a little, relieved that he wasn’t asking too many questions. “I’ve heard they are gentlemen there, righteous but gentle; it will be the best match for my personality, I’m sure.”

A lie, of course. ‘Gentlemen’ were just as likely to come to the brothel as brutes, and they were all the same once they had a cup of wine and a beauty in their arms – Meng Yao tried not to have any illusions.

“Can we afford it?” he asked instead, since that was something he was sure his mother would have thought of, would have expected him to ask. “Gusu is so far away…”

“I have obtained a letter from the local sect recommending you to their sect leader, Lan Qiren,” she said. “He’s the one that teaches the classes – the one that sent out the summons asking the subsidiary sects to look for individuals with raw talent to join his classes and offering them an extra seat for their sects for each nameless orphan they find that lives up to Lan sect standards. Only the Heavens know why he’s doing something like that…I assume they’re trying to expand.”

That seemed like the most reasonable explanation. Meng Yao nodded. “So I’ll be traveling with the local sect?”

“That’s right,” his mother said, and raised her chin a little. “At least this much, your mother was able to do for you.”

She’d begged and bargained and traded favors for it, then, Meng Yao thought, and yet taking him along was to their own benefit: if they were looking for inherited cultivation talent sufficient for the Lan sect, then the bastard son of another Great Sect leader would be a better bet than some random nobody. She’d probably humiliated herself for nothing.

“Will you come with me?” he asked, more concerned with that – it was too easy for women of ill repute to disappear into the depths of the city if they didn’t have someone to watch out for them.

Even someone as young as he was. He wished he was older.

“You can come back to visit me during the Spring Festival,” she said, which meant no. “I’ll be all right, A-Yao.”

Meng Yao wasn’t so sure.

Still, not having him around would at least remove a visible reminder of his mother’s age – she’d been kicked out of the better brothels because of him, because no one wanted a woman who was a mother. Leaving would at least do that for her.

“I’ll write,” he finally said. “I’ll write as often as they let me.”

“And I’ll write back,” she promised him, kissing his cheek. “I promise.”

With that, Meng Yao supposed he had to be satisfied.

-

The Lan sect was both exactly like what Meng Yao expected and absolutely nothing at all like anything he could have dreamt.

For the first, his cynicism was almost immediately confirmed: the boys raised there were snobby as anything, looking down at the rest of them as little better than barbarians, and many of the adults were the same way. It was clear that this whole business of recruiting talented nobodies was a project of the sect leader’s – the interim sect leader, no less, not even the real thing – and nobody else’s; they were only just barely going along with it. Adding to that the fact that there were dozens if not hundreds of rules, and Meng Yao could glumly foresee a future of having his lack of knowledge held over his head as a fault, even with his marvelous memory to act as his backing.

For the second…

Well, there was Lan Xichen, who was – as unbelievable as it seemed – to actually embody all those things that people said about gentlemen, all kindness and gentleness and fierce upright pride, except only for real. There was Lan Wangji, who was basically perfect in every way and kinder than he gave the impression he was, willing to help tutor anyone who asked if only they dared disturb his solitude long enough to do so. There was the boy Meng Yao shared a room with, Su She, who’d punched the boy from the Yunping cultivator clan in the mouth for calling Meng Yao a son of a whore and pretended it was because they weren’t allowed to talk about that sort of thing, when actually it’d been because he hadn’t wanted rumors to get around that might make Meng Yao’s life harder in the future.

There was Lan Qiren, who was strict and a little boring but fair, painfully fair, handing out punishments with an equitable hand no matter that it meant that he was punishing the locals as often if not more often. It’d been his idea to bring people like Meng Yao into the Lan sect, and defending the idea was the only time he truly seemed moved to passion. Now that they’d passed the initial examination and been judged to match Lan sect standards, Lan Qiren announced, as far as he was concerned, they were Lan sect just as if they were born there, as if they’d been children of his own.

And he even seemed to really believe it, too.

Today, Meng Yao’s head was still warm from when the stern Teacher Lan had put his hand there, gentle and approving, and his ears still burning from the murmured “Well done, Meng Yao, as expected.”

“I think I would kill someone for him,” Meng Yao said dreamily to Su She, who snorted.

“You’ve got such father issues,” he said disdainfully, as if he didn’t have entire family issues. That was just Su She’s way, though – he bitched and moaned and complained without end, and he’d probably kill someone for Meng Yao if Meng Yao so much as hinted it was something he’d want. They’d made friends for a reason. “You know the bit about the poor kids being his own children is a lie, right?”

“I know which sect’s leader is my father, thanks,” Meng Yao said, rolling his eyes. “I’m well aware it’s not Teacher Lan. Like he’d ever have kids of his own, anyway.”

“That’d require noticing when someone’s flirting with him,” Su She agreed, all solemn for just a moment, and then he dissolved into sniggering giggles. Meng Yao couldn’t blame him: it was, in fact, extremely funny when women (and sometimes men) tried to flirt with Teacher Lan, mostly because of the way that he very genuinely and completely missed that that was what was happening each and every time.

“Laugh all you like,” Meng Yao said peaceably. “You’d kill for him, too.”

“Probably,” Su She agreed. “But only because of you.”

That was fair enough. After getting the lay of the land, Meng Yao had arranged for them to ‘accidentally’ be overheard by Teacher Lan while talking about the misconduct of one of the teachers who was the most biased against guest disciples, one of the ones that had been harassing Su She in particular for over a year before Meng Yao had arrived, and despite Su She’s initial nervousness about the plan, it had all gone splendidly. Sure, they’d been punished to do five copies of a treatise on upright conduct because they’d breached Talking behind the backs of others is prohibited, but the teacher in question had been sentenced to two hundred strikes with the discipline rod for abusing his position and three months of enforced seclusion to contemplate his misbehavior, and then, Teacher Lan had said, his expression dark and threatening, they could discuss what role would be the best fit in the future.

The other teachers had taken notice and shaped up very quickly, after that.

Comparatively, those five copies made in the nice cool Library Pavilion instead of having to do chores on the hottest days of summer? Practically a pat on the back for bringing it to his attention.

Su She would never have dared to raise anything if it was just him, Meng Yao thought; he had a strange fear of authority figures that combined envy and misery in an explosive combination – he would have just suffered and suffered and suffered until he’d been pushed too far and then it would have all burst out at once. He wasn’t like Meng Yao, who was unwilling to keep to his “proper” place and was more than willing to use his greater-than-average share of brains to get what he wanted, no matter what rules he broke in the process. He was the sort of person who was willing to do whatever it took to obtain his desires – no matter what it took.

Well, maybe not no matter what. He wouldn’t want to disappoint Lan Qiren too much.

(Okay, so maybe Su She was right and he had some unresolved father issues. So what if he did? Whose business was it but his?)

-

It’d taken Meng Yao a while to fully adjust to the Cloud Recesses.

Some parts he’d figured out right away – the way they all flattered themselves as gentlemen even if they were actually little more than hypocrites (Teacher Lan and his personally taught nephews exempted, of course), which of course meant that Meng Yao’s ability to act pitiful at the drop of a hat and cleverly turn black into white made him a teacher’s pet at once. The vegetarian meals were easy enough to adapt to, given that his mother hadn’t had the money for meat all that often, and the training and cultivation and all that wasn’t any challenge for his excellent powers of retention – he had ambitions of becoming one of Teacher Lan’s aides one day, and worked assiduously towards that goal. Even waking and sleeping early, which was practically the opposite of his schedule at home, was something he could adjust to, given time and incentive.

It was his mentality that took some time to adjust.

Meng Yao had perhaps grown up with too many of his mother’s stories, painting an image of a matchless paradise – at the start, he looked at everything around him, serene and elegant but not quite as rich and shining and thought that it would do, for now. When he’d first arrived, he had had every intention of making a good reputation for himself and using that reputation to get his real father’s attention – he’d liked Teacher Lan from the beginning, despite his best attempts to not let his heart be swayed, but he’d reasoned that if a teacher was like this, then a blood-related father would be even better.

And so, for the first half-year, he’d treated his time at the Cloud Recesses…not lightly, no. He was extremely serious about making sure to get the maximum benefit he could. And yet, at the same time, he still was not really committing himself to the place.

This wasn’t where he was going to live his whole life, he reasoned; it was just a stepping stone to a better future. That meant he would exert himself to point out things that made him look good, to eliminate obstacles in his path, to win himself allies, but not bother with those longer-term problems, the ones that really ought to be fixed but which would take a great deal of effort with little reward other than annoying people.

His feeling of superiority and emotional distance lasted right up until the first discussion conference.

From a distance, Jin Guangshan was everything Meng Yao could have imagined – perhaps a little too similar to the clients that his mother often saw, a little dissolute to pull off the air of a refined scholar he affected, but wearing more gold than Meng Yao had ever seen in his life, with a retinue of servants that dwarfed the other sect’s. Each of those servants were dressed more finely than even main clan cultivators in some of the smaller sects, and though Meng Yao’s Lan sect guest disciple clothing was of such quality that he didn’t need to fear their disdain, he couldn’t help but be secretly impressed.

He'd exerted himself more than usual to trade away all of his chores and duties, freeing himself up to take on patrol duty near the Jin sect. He’d perhaps daydreamed about some sort of encounter – nothing active on his part, of course, but he couldn’t quite resist playing through some fantasy of catching someone’s eye by chance, getting called over, a “You have a familiar set to your chin, who’s your father?”, a shy halting admission, recognition, a joyous reunion…

Instead, his father spent the entire night getting drunk and cursing the Lan sect’s hospitality for not providing him with girls to go with his liquor, calling Lan Qiren a miserable prude with a stick up his ass right in front of the Lan sect disciples that clenched their fists in barely concealed rage. He’d seen Meng Yao all right, ordered him to come forward, but it’d only been to mock him in front of all of his servants – and not even for being his bastard son, no, that would involve bothering to pick him out from the crowd or to ask who he was. No, he’d mocked him simply for being one of the poor disciples that Lan Qiren had taken in, all because his accent was marked with the distinct tones of Yunping rather than the sweetness of Gusu.

“Tell me, boy,” he said, breathing fumes into Meng Yao’s face and making him feel suddenly as if he’d never left the brothel – that the Cloud Recesses had all been a vague dream, and now he’d woken up and lost it all. “How does that old fart Qiren expect you to pay him back for all he’s done for you? I heard the Lan sect includes a pretty face as one of its standard requirements…”

Meng Yao put his gaze above his father’s head and pretended to be deaf.

“It seems like rather a lot of effort,” one of his father’s attendants remarked. “Even if Second Master Lan wanted a boy to warm his bed, couldn’t he just buy one like any normal person?”

“Bah, boys,” his father said, and leaned back, waving his hands in dismissal. “Why would anyone bother with a boy when you could have a soft woman instead? Just as long as they’re stupid enough – you know, there’s nothing worse than a woman who’s talented and knows it, too smart, always trying to get above their station…”

“You’re thinking about that whore in Yunping again, aren’t you? The one that interrupted your dinner and made a scene, claiming you’d promised to take in the son she bore you?” the attendant said, laughing. “I told you, you should’ve just killed her for her impudence rather than just having her beaten and thrown out. That way the matter wouldn’t still be bothering you…”

“Go away, boy,” another servant said to Meng Yao, who was frozen stiff in belated terror, nausea churning in his stomach as he realized his mother could’ve gone out one day and never come back, and he would never have known why – or maybe it was that he’d been spending his considerable time and brain on pleasing someone who would have done that, who nearly had done that. “Your accent’s brought back bad memories, don’t you see?”

Meng Yao left.

No, to be more blunt: he fled. He ran away, hot tears filling his eyes until he couldn’t see – belly full of regret and disappointment, crushed dreams feeling like broken shards of glass in his mouth and throat.

He tried to tell himself that it was better to find out now, when they were still distant, before he'd sold his soul for the futile chance to get that horrible man's affection, but he couldn't quite throw off the shame of knowing that if he hadn't heard such a thing up front, he probably would have done that. Would have humiliated himself like that, and for what? A man who regretted not murdering his mother?

He ran right into Lan Wangji, who was also on patrol.

Lan Wangji took one look at him and grabbed his wrist, dragging him away from the main pathway and all the way to his uncle’s rooms.

Lan Qiren was still awake despite the late hour, writing something at his desk, but he set aside his brush at once. “What’s going on?” he asked, frowning. “Wangji – Meng Yao – one of you report.”

“Meng Yao was on patrol by the Jin sect,” Lan Wangji explained as Meng Yao furiously tried to dash away his tears using his sleeve.

“Who permitted that? First year disciples aren’t permitted to patrol during discussion conferences,” Lan Qiren asked, his frown deepening. “It wouldn’t be proper – ah, but no, I recall now. I suppose it was inevitable. Wangji, well done, and thank you. You are dismissed.”

After Lan Wangji left, he turned his eyes on Meng Yao.

“You volunteered, didn’t you?” he asked.

Meng Yao felt his back go cold: Lan Qiren knew, then. It had never been said out loud by anyone as far as he knew, and yet it was clear that Lan Qiren knew who his father was – and probably his mother, too.

He knew that Meng Yao was – that he wasn’t anything more than –

“You are one of my most promising disciples, Meng Yao,” Lan Qiren told him, and poured him a cup of tea from his own pot, pressing it into his hands. It was finer tea than Meng Yao had ever had in his life, full of smoke and flavor. “The rules say Be loyal and filial, but they also praise reciprocity. You have not been recognized, and have not received your forefathers’ grace. You can fulfill your obligations to chivalry through your respect for the parent that raised you.”

Meng Yao stared down at the teacup. Lan Qiren had completely misunderstood the nature of Meng Yao’s concern – he was disappointed in what his father was, not worried about not living up to his obligations of being a filial child. And yet it was a little nice to hear that as far as Lan Qiren was concerned, the rules said that he could tell his father go hang for all he cared…

And that he ought to honor his mother, which was something no one who knew her had ever said to him.

“Even if she –” His voice stuttered. “Even if she’s a…”

He couldn’t say the word.

“Appreciate the good people is not qualified by class or profession,” Lan Qiren said, and his monotone voice was blissfully without emotion, as if this were just another lesson in class, and not the deepest hurt of Meng Yao’s life. “I have never met your mother, Meng Yao, but you are a good child – diligent, organized, sincere, with good judgment, and you clearly adore her. That tells me everything I need to know.”

Meng Yao burst into tears.

-

Meng Yao liked Lan Xichen a lot, but he also had to admit that sometimes, the older boy was, well…

“Dumb as a pile of rocks,” Su She announced.

“Do not criticize other people,” Meng Yao said piously, but then chuckled, shaking his head. “Say, rather, that he’s naïve and sheltered, and overly inclined to believe the best in people.”

“Like I said: dumb as rocks. How many times is going to get himself swindled into being someone’s sword or shield before he figures out that the problem is him?”

“Some people don’t have the capacity to understand the depths of humanity’s foulness –”

“Yeah, dumb ones.”

“Su She, please.” Su She held up his hands in surrendered. “At any rate, if Lan-gongzi is going to keep falling for people’s tricks, it’s beholden on us to help protect him.”

“You just don’t want Teacher Lan to be sad about something serious happening to his nephew,” Su She said knowingly, but he was already nodding. “All right, what are we going to do about it? He outranks us. We can’t exactly tell him to his face that he’s being…”

He paused.

Dumb as rocks went unsaid, but then, it didn’t need to be said out loud for the meaning to be clear.

Meng Yao sighed.

“You can only trick someone so many times,” he said. “If we want to keep him from getting tricked by other people, then we have to trick him first. And better.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lan-gongzi likes to save people,” Meng Yao explained. “He really sees himself as a chivalrous gentleman – he puts chivalry first, even though Teacher Lan says Learning comes first. That’s why he always sides with whoever he perceives to be the underdog in a given situation, no matter how wrong that impression is. That’s how most of the people who’ve been tricking him have gone for it: playing the victim, appealing to his sense of righteousness, pulling the curtains over his eyes to obscure what’s actually happening.”

“Okay. So?”

“So, we’ve both got miserable backstories – you being taken from your family at a young age and then bullied, me with my mother and, even worse, father. If we get him on our side, early on, he’ll side with us over anyone else – that way we can keep him from getting roped into other people’s private grudges.”

Su She frowned. “That seems a little manipulative.”

“It’s for his own good, and that’s what’s important,” Meng Yao said, and smiled faintly. “Wouldn’t you agree, Lan-er-gongzi?”

Su She jumped, turning around just in time to see Lan Wangji, who had been standing in the shadow of a nearby tree, step out.

He had a serious expression, as always, but a thoughtful one.

Meng Yao waited patiently.

“You cannot take advantage,” Lan Wangji finally said, and Meng Yao knew he’d won the most important ally in the battle to save Lan Xichen from himself. “That would change it from a virtuous act to a selfish one.”

“Like we need anything from him,” Su She said haughtily. “Maintain your own discipline.”

“Arrogance is forbidden.”

“It’s not arrogance if it’s justified! It’s just self-confidence!”

“Do not argue with family,” Meng Yao quoted, and was pleased to see both of them drop it at once. “Listen, we all share the same goal, and we have to start somewhere, don’t we? We’re stronger together than apart. Together, we can do anything, even protect Lan-gongzi.”

That and more, he thought as the other boys nodded, following his lead. Lan Xichen is just the start.

-

“The Wen sect will make trouble sooner rather than later,” Meng Yao said thoughtfully, one day. His friends turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m serious.”

Lan Wangji nodded, serious as always, but Su She scoffed.

“You can’t even convince that Wei Wuxian boy to leave poor Lan-er-gongzi alone,” he said snidely. “How exactly are you expecting to bring down the Wen sect?”

“I don’t convince Wei Wuxian to leave Lan-er-gongzi alone because Lan-er-gongzi doesn’t want to be left alone,” Meng Yao said. “Obviously. Isn’t that right?”

“You should call me by name,” Lan Wangji said, which wasn’t answering the question and definitely wasn’t denying anything. “You were saying, about the Wen sect?”

Meng Yao smiled.

-

“What brings one of Teacher Lan’s most promising disciples to the Unclean Realm?” Nie Mingjue said, peering at him thoughtfully. “You’re at the wrong time to be one of the usual messengers.”

Meng Yao smiled at him.

“I think you’ll find that we have similar goals, Sect Leader Nie,” he said. “When it comes to making sure that certain people in our lives don’t get hurt by the bad decisions of others, I mean. In your case, it’s your younger brother, who’s a friend of mine –”

Friend, source of information, it was all about the same thing in the end. Meng Yao didn’t have real friends outside the Lan sect, but he’d been very careful to cultivate good relationships with all his most important peers.

“- and for me, well. A teacher for day, a father for a lifetime. I’m sure Sect Leader Nie can understand the importance of protecting one’s father – right?”

“You don’t need to use any sophistry on me,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes. “If you have an idea on what we can do to stop the Wen sect before they go and burn someone’s house down, I’m all ears.”

By chance, Meng Yao did.

It was a good plan, too, daring and brave in equal measure. If it worked the way he hoped it would, he’d win enough fame to get Jin Guangshan to beg for him to join the Jin sect – not that he would, of course.

Meng Yao knew what he wanted, and he knew how he was going to get it, too.

-

“This is a lovely house, A-Yao,” Meng Shi said, running her hand along one of the soft tapestries on the wall. “Truly lovely. Whoever you rented it from has good taste.”

Meng Yao bowed. “Thank you for the compliment, Mother. I put a lot of thought into it.”

“You own it?” she asked, surprised. “But don’t you live up the mountain, with the sect?”

“I do. This is for you.”

“For – me? A-Yao! This is too much – how much must it have cost–”

“I saved the Lan sect’s core texts from being destroyed,” Meng Yao said. “I’m an inner sect disciple now – I could ask for a dozen houses like this, and they’d grant them to me without blinking twice. Teacher Lan would insist on it.”

“Teacher Lan,” his mother murmured. “That’s the one you’ve taken to treating as your own father, isn’t it? You’ve spoken so much of him, in your letters…”

“There’s no need to scheme,” he told her. “He wouldn’t notice your flirtations, anyway.”

His mother arched her eyebrows at him.

“He’s really oblivious.”

“Still…”

“Really no need,” Meng Yao said, and couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Lan Qiren pulling him into a hug when he realized that the books – and Lan Xichen – were all safe from the Wen sect’s attempt to burn down the Cloud Recesses, and, later, again, that Wen Ruohan was dead. He may have deliberately schemed for that second hug, and he might or might not have plans for more. “He already takes me as a son.”

His mother relaxed.

“Good,” she said, and smiled herself. “So, A-Yao, was I right, all those years ago? Was the Lan sect a good fit for you?”

“Yes, Mother,” Meng Yao said. “Yes, it was.”

[nobodyfamousposts]

Dolls AU: Swap Day

It was a great plan. In theory.

Chaton had been with Marinette since he was created. And Littlebug had literally been made for Adrien.

And while they had many days where they spent time together all four of them, or both dolls went with one of the two heroes, usually they found themselves falling back to that routine.

It wasn’t that Marinette didn’t care about Littlebug. Or that Adrien didn’t care about Chaton. They both did care, and very much in fact! But they had spent so long with one doll each and had gotten used to it, that it hadn’t really struck them to spend some individual time with the other doll.

That was why they would be doing this now.

This weekend, they would each be spending a day with the other’s doll for bonding time! Adrien was excited. Marinette was nervously anticipating. Tikki was worried. And Plagg was...well...Plagg, so other than making sure to stockpile cheese and a place to hide from what he deemed the “sappiness”, he didn’t care.

And thus, they planned for a free full day of bonding and fun! Guaranteed!

______________________

Littlebug was not having a good time.

It wasn’t Mama’s fault. Mama was wonderful. She didn’t want her or anyone to think otherwise.

But…

She wasn’t often away from Papa.

And she certainly wasn’t away from Chaton AND Papa.

She couldn’t help but think about them. And worry. Were they okay? Were they having fun? Was Papa’s Father needing another night in the big trash bin again?

She looked out the window at the stormy dark skies and her own sad reflection. She was trying not to think about them, but couldn’t not think about them. And the raininess was only making it worse since the two left in the wet and ickiness and she couldn’t go with them to protect them or make them feel better. It was making her sad and worried.

Marinette, for her part, was also worried. This bonding day wasn’t really off to a great start. First with the rainstorm, which made the day somewhat dreary and kept them from being able to spend time outside. Then with Littlebug seeming rather distant.

She bit her lip, feeling uncertain. She glanced to Tikki in hopes of some suggestion, but even the kwami didn’t seem to have any ideas as she simply shrugged.

Littlebug only continued to look out the window, almost wistfully.

“Hey, Littlebug.” Marinette said as she approached the doll. “Are you feeling all right?”

A moment passed as Littlebug thought it over before she looked up at Marinette with a frown.

“I guess you miss Adrien and Chaton, too, huh?” Marinette ventured.

The doll nodded.

“Well, you and I can spend the day together doing just about anything—within reason, of course.” Marinette smiled. “So how would you like it if we made something for them that you could give when we see them next? Would that make you feel better?”

Littlebug paused at that, looking up at Marinette in surprise and a bit of enthusiasm.

Really? Would it be okay?

“Of course!” Marinette replied. “This is your day with me. If you want to make something, we certainly can do that!”

This seemed to brighten Littlebug’s mood as she nodded eagerly.

The hope was that she could spend time with Littlebug that was just between them. But for now, Littlebug was still focused on Adrien and Chaton.

At the very least, they could turn that focus into something productive!

So Marinette showed Littlebug some of her crochet supplies and helped her learn some basic stitching. Littlebug took to it quite happily...at least at first.

But Littlebug was getting frustrated with each mistake she made.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect.” Marinette assured her.

Littlebug frowned up at her, clearly unimpressed.

Because it had to be perfect! It’s for Papa!

Marinette smiled. Littlebug was so much like herself. They both had that same sense of determination and perfectionist tendencies.

...given Marinette’s issues, it’d probably be best to nip that in the bud.

“He’ll love anything you make.”

Littlebug pouted. It seemed she still wasn’t convinced.

Marinette hugged her. “You know, there may be mistakes in what you make, but those are just indicators that it was made by you with love.” She gave Littlebug a squeeze. “Adrien will see that. And it’ll matter all the more to him because you made it for him out of love.”

Littlebug stared up at Marinette as if in awe. Her eyes almost seemed to shine.

“Adrien doesn’t get many things. So he appreciates what he’s given. The little mistakes show the effort you put into your gifts and that you were thinking of him.

Okay.

Littlebug nodded resolutely, determined to see this through.

Then she would be sure to make tons of mistakes to let Papa know she loved him!

“Wait—that’s not what I meant!” Marinette cried.

Tikki giggled.

Still, it made Littlebug feel more at ease and the two worked together on their projects in easy companionship.

“I wonder how the boys are doing…”

Littlebug looked up at that. She tilted her head in curiosity.

Marinette smiled down at Littlebug.

“I’m sure they’re okay.”

Littlebug smiled back up at her and nodded.

________________________

Adrien was not okay.

“Chaton! Chaton, buddy? Where are you?”

It was his day to spend one on one time with Chaton, but sure enough, his ever-dreaded schedule had inconveniently intervened at the worst time, dragging him away from his room and from Chaton for over an hour. Now that he returned, Chaton was nowhere to be seen. It hadn’t even been an hour since Marinette had entrusted him to her care and he had lost him.

Marinette was going to kill him.

“Kid?” Plagg questioned after having watched Adrien tearing up his room for a good 15 minutes.

“I messed up, Plagg. I completely messed up!” Adrien moaned as he slumped onto his bed. “Now I can’t find Chaton! He could be anywhere!”

He gasped, starting to panic.

“What if he got out? What if he’s outside? It’s RAINING outside, Plagg!”

“I can see that.”

“What if he thought I abandoned him and left?! What if he’s all alone? WHAT IF SOMEONE KIDNAPPED HIM?!”

“Kid.”

“What do I do?! Where do I even start looking?!”

“Kid.”

“What if he’s hurt? Or scared? Oh my god, Plagg, what if he’s injured and crying and needing me to find him?!”

“ADRIEN!”

Adrien spun around immediately to see a floating and very unimpressed Plagg staring flatly at him.

“What?!”

“It’s raining.”

Adrien blinked. “Okay?”

Plagg sighed. “Where do little kitties like to go when it rains?”

Adrien frowned at that. “I don’t know…someplace dark and dry?”

Plagg sighed and rolled his eyes.

“When it’s wet and humid and I don’t feel well, where do I like to go?”

Adrien thought for a moment. “Well, you go to my sock draw...oh.”

He stood and headed for his drawer, which he only now noticed was slightly open. Not all the way, but just enough to provide some cover.

And sure enough, there laid a particularly tired Chaton nestled among Adrien’s socks.

________________________

Chaton didn’t like rainy days.

They were icky. They smelled bad and came with a dampness that got everywhere. Especially when he had to go out in the rain for any length of time. It was as if the mugginess clung to him even once he was inside. It was bad and it made him feel bad. Like he was smothered in a wetness that wasn’t really wet and he couldn’t wipe away.

It hadn’t helped that he and Papa had to go out in the rain to get from Mama’s home to Papa’s house. Despite their best efforts, they couldn’t stay completely dry. And the rain just seemed to follow them.

When they had gotten to Papa’s room, they both worked to dry off. Even so, the unpleasant feeling remained.

His day with Papa had just started and Chaton was already not happy.

Then the Cold Lady called. Papa had to leave, so it was just Chaton and the ickiness.

Normally, he would have played and waited.

But it was wet. It was wet and miserable and Chaton was miserable and now he was alone.

Papa was gone and even Kitty was gone, too.

That just left Chaton to find some comfort for himself. A nice dry place. A place that can take the ickiness away.

He couldn’t go to the Fort. Littlebug and the King and Queen weren’t there and he didn’t want to get the walls damp or icky.

The bed might work, but it was too big and open. It just wasn’t enough.

He missed Mama. When it was rainy and icky, he could lay on her lap and she would pet him till he felt better.

He wanted to curl up. He wanted a dry small comforting place. Like his bed. Or his Box. But those were at Mama’s home and he was here.

There was only one place he could think of.

It took some effort to pull out the drawer. Chaton was tired by the end and he had only managed to pull it out maybe a third of the way. Fortunately, it was enough for him to slip inside. He’d gotten through thinner openings and hidden in smaller boxes before.

If I fits I sits, Mama had said.

He didn’t know what it meant, but if it got him where he wanted to be, it was good enough.

He was able to climb up and over, landing inside the drawer and on top of the soft sockies. They were smaller than the bedsheets and able to be moved much more easily, so he curled up and shuffled around until a little nest of sockies buffered him on all sides to protect him from the ickiness outside.

It wasn’t as good as Mama’s home. But it was comforting.

Chaton slept.

Suddenly there was noise.

Footsteps.

Papa’s voice. He sounded upset. Chaton felt bad and wanted to check on him, but that required moving.

It came closer.

Then it went away.

Then there were sounds outside his hiding place. Sounds of things being moved or shuffled around.

Footsteps came back.

Suddenly there were hands.

Warm hands.

Hands that were trying to take him from his nice dry place.

Nooooo

Wet. Icky. Rainy. Sleepy. Cold.

Cold.

Warm hands. Cold everything else.

He didn’t like it.

He fussed.

“Hang on a second.”

But it was icky!

A sound of cloth moving.

The hands were putting him down. The warm hands. The only warm and dry thing! He clutched them desperately.

Suddenly—soft below him. Warm everywhere else.

He opened his eyes. Pillow below him. Soft fluffy nice feeling. Blankets hanging around him. Enclosing him in warm dry comfy-ness.

Chaton sighed in contentment and nuzzled into the nest of pillows and blankets, surrounded by even more blankets to keep out the icky feeling. He was feeling sleepy now—but a good sleepy! Not the icky sleepy. What was this? What had Papa done?

Adrien knelt in the enclosed space, looking rather pleased with himself.

“There we go! One blanket fort for a rainy day! What do you think, Chaton?”

He liked it.

Chaton purred.

Papa curled up next to him inside the enclosure.

“The storm should pass in an hour or two. I think we can do with a nap until then.”

Chaton liked that idea.

The warmth before was nice but this was better.

Then Papa started to purr.

Chaton shifted to get closer to the vibrations. It was nice. Soothing.

Papa’s arm curled around him, making Chaton feel even more nice and good sleepy.

“I don’t know why you were panicking so much, kid. Cats are easy to please.”

“I just don’t want to mess up, Plagg.”

Papa was silly. He wasn’t messing up at all.

Chaton loved Papa bunches. Bunches and bunches!

Before he completely nodded off, Chaton’s tail curled over Papa’s arm.

In a couple hours, they could play. But for now, Chaton liked spending his time with Papa just fine like this.

[lazyliars]

/rp

Before I get into it, I want to state that is EXPLICITLY an analysis of the Characters, and is not intended to touch on how the cc’s played them in a meta sense unless specifically stated otherwise.

Also, this is technically a part two to my other post, which took a more in depth look at Techno and Phil’s reactions to Tommy’s death. It’s not necessary when reading this post, but I don’t address their reactions here.

So. The question must be asked.

Are we [the Syndicate] the baddies?

Yes.

The End.

 Why are the Syndicate the baddies?

They got damn logo is a wither skull.

The End.

That's not how this works.

Yeah, yeah. You’re right.

The Syndicate's goals as an organization are not inherently bad. They seem to have good intentions behind them, and the focus on the freedom of it's individual group members is important to remember when talking about it; It is not a government. There is no hierarchical power system. No one is forced to do anything against their will, or surrender any of their rights or power to remain a member. It is not a government.

I also want to address Techno and Phil backing Ranboo into a corner – I see them getting a lot of flack for this, but I personally do not think it is relevant to the greater discussion, or necessarily representative of any contradictions within the organization. It was clearly played for laughs, and after they back off they clarify to Ranboo that they won't force him. Then later when Phil and Ranboo are alone, Ranboo feels safe enough to express that he felt like he was pressured into it, and Phil assures him he is allowed to leave whenever he wants; He is not being forced to do anything, and he is not being coerced or blackmailed.

None of the Syndicate members have done any wrongs against each other in the context of the Syndicate, OR gone against any of the Syndicate's core principles.

That, said, holy shit are they the baddies.

Listen, there's trying to telegraph a meaning or message to the audience and then there's having your logo be wither skulls on blackstone. That is straight out of the skit I keep referencing, seriously.

Okay, but, they laughed at it! It was played as a joke, just like the Ranboo thing!

The Ranboo thing was improv, the Syndicate's headquarters were planned – the artistic choices that they made reflect on what role they want the build and the organization inhabiting it to play in the future storylines.

Wither Skulls kind of have some CONNOTATIONS. Techno is an English major, I don't think he chose the most threatening imagery possible on accident, and then joked about the way people would interpret it just to stir the pot. This reads as hugely intentional.

And beyond that, the jokes they make during this part aren't “haha yeah, we look bad but we're actually good!” they're “you can tell by looking at these that we're the good guys wink wink, this is good guy stuff right here :)” It is a joke about how they are definitely not the good guys. This isn't even a case of unreliable narrators, this is one step down from flat out saying the meta intent.

But okay, I hear you, I'm talking about things that haven't happened yet. The Syndicate hasn't used any Withers, they could be an aesthetic choice.  Lets look at what they do in practice.

So, they barge into private property, assess Snowchester's right to continue existing based entirely on their own ideals of what Freedom is, and then only once Tubbo assures them that they have no standing leader do they grant the place their approval to, and I gotta stress this part, continue existing.

 In my Quackity meta, I already talked about how Government in the context of a M1necraft RP cannot be compared to IRL Governments on a one-to-one scale. They don't serve the same purposes or have the same type of power. What I didn't talk about was Agency in the context of m1necraft governments.

In an irl government, if you are born into one, you can't really leave without committing a massive overhaul on your life, which can be expensive and difficult, if not impossible for many people. Even in a “benevolent” government, the simple physicality of where you were born can prevent you from leaving it easily.

The same hurdles do not exist in the Dream SMP. People who join M1necraft governments choose to. They want to, either at the beginning when they form one, or later on when they join up. So far, no Government has just Sprung Up and forced the current residents of an area to become dependent on them, except maybe the Eggpire, who's status as a government is... shakey.

And even when people want to leave or separate from the government, they have been historically able to do so without any trouble or any effort from said governments to stop them. Jack Manifold emancipated from Manberg. Fundy and Quackity both left to start new nations. In all cases they were allowed to do so without any attempts on the part of the governments to stop them, either through force, or institutions preventing them from doing so.

The most anyone has lost when leaving a government is their house, which is still usually their property anyway, and is something that is easily rebuilt elsewhere and is inconvenient to move anyway.

The only exceptions to this might be Schlatt exiling Wilbur and Tommy - but even then, they weren’t trying to leave, they were trying to get back in, and of course the original L’manberg revolution, where Dream attempted to force L’manberg back into the Dream SMP, which wasn’t even a government at that point in time.

I don’t consider Phil’s house arrest an example of a government forcing someone to stay a citizen - that was treated less as a matter of a citizen wanting to leave the country and more as a threat to national security. Still pretty fucked up, but it’s a different issue.

What I'm saying is, If Tubbo wants to create a government out in the middle of nowhere, threatening no one, forcing no one to join either through force or desperation, and allowing people to join willingly because they want to, then he should be allowed to do that.

The Irony of the Syndicate, a group of people consisting of some of the richest, strongest people on the server, going around and enforcing 'Freedom' that entails no one person having more power than any other, is absurd. 

It shows an extreme lack of self-awareness and/or self-righteousness, as they seem to think that they deserve to be the ones who decide what constitutes a government.

Snowchester is a small independent nation - they shouldn’t have to live in fear of being obliterated if they don’t walk on eggshells to meet an arbitrary standard decided by people who’s only authority on the matter COMES FROM THEIR PERSONAL POWER. No one elected them! No one chose them! They were not “approved” by the server at large to enact this kind of law.

The Syndicate are not a government, but they are an unsupervised power structure exerting their ideals on a land that did not ask for them. Like, These people have invented an actual Authoritarian-Anarchist faction. How the hell did they manage this?????

Back on topic.

Tubbo shows them the crater left by his nukes. The reaction is oddly positive – the nukes are fine by the morals of the Syndicate, apparently. I'd argue that they come across as more impressed than anything else; they seem to respect Tubbo for having gotten ahold of “real” power.

(There's a few good memes out there about “We can excuse nuclear weaponry, but we draw the line at Government!”)

So. By the Syndicate's standards: A single person or group of acceptably equal persons with weapons of mass-destruction are only worth “keeping an eye on” because they might provoke other people.

Like, I consider Project Dreamcatcher to be one of, if not the most morally ambiguous thing Tubbo has ever done, largely because it was all on his own initiative. He holds some culpability for The Butcher Army and Phil's house arrest, but they weren't his ideas and he was mostly following Quackity at that point.

And Phil tells Tubbo, IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING THE NUCLEAR CRATER:

“Looks like you've reformed a little bit Tubbo, I'm proud.”

And it's fine. Crimes against nature? Fine. A sign of healing in fact!! Tubbo is having a sweeeelll time and he definitely didn't make these nukes specifically in fear of being attacked by these exact people! Tubbo is doing great. Tubbo is doing fine. Tubbo. is. FINE.

Anyway.

I don't think this presentation of the Syndicate was an accident. Looking at the greater lore of SMP right now, after the Egg is done, their list of enemies is slim, and considering that they seem solely invested in taking down governments, that leaves maybe Snowchester, Kinoko Kingdom, and Eret and the greater Dream SMP.

Snowchester has not been shown to be corrupt, evil, or have any intent to go down that route. The most ambiguous thing they've done is, again, is the nukes. Other than that, it's pretty much your average cottagecore snow village.

Kinoko is presented in an even more morally 'good' light, Karl having founded it specifically for his Time-travel library purposes, which are currently being treated by the narrative as a selfless act, if not downright heroic.

Eret is also a fairly 'good' aligned character atm. He's been on that redemption grind since the og betrayal, and doesn't seem keen on backtracking. He's actively tried to leverage his position as king to make things better, and hasn't been quiet about that. He was also 'validated' by Tommy*, a character who has been described both by his allies and enemies as “the hero,” so take that as you will.

What I'm getting at is, all of the current potential enemies for the Syndicate aside from the Egg, are currently being cast as 'good,' and if they were to be attacked, they would undoubtedly have the moral high-ground, unless something drastically changed.

The only potential shakeups I can think of is are a Dream escape and/or a Wilbur revival, both of which could draw the Syndicate's attention and ire, depending on how things go. That said, it's just as likely that either or both of them would join the Syndicate – Dream still has that favor, and Phil and Techno both seemed to think Wilbur would've agreed with their blowing up L'manberg.

Both of those characters are currently **villains – the fact that they're both prime candidates for the Syndicate is a huge indication of the direction it's going to go as the plot moves forward.

((*I know some people are gonna come at me for painting Tommy as the “deciding factor” of what is morally good, so lemme just stop you there. I'm not talking about Tommy somehow having the 'right' to decide who is and isn't good, and definitely not the right to decide who should and shouldn't be king. I'm saying that Tommy, a character who the narrative treats as, if not a good person, then a person who is trying to be good, was in support of Eret, a character who has also been trying to be good.

Eret doesn't gain the moral highground because Tommy said so, he gets it because a character who the narrative treats as trying to do better, acknowledged Eret's earnest attempts at doing the same.

**I'm referring to Wilbur here as a villain because Tommy seemed convinced he would be if he were to be brought back. There is always the possibility that he's wrong.))

So, to summarize this: I read the Syndicate as being intentionally positioned as future antagonists, if not outright villains of a future arc. They are NOT a Government but their goals are contradictory with their means, and it is important to keep in mind that they plan to enforce their own brand of freedom on people who did not grant them either the authority or permission to do so.

So, uh. Can you tell I loved these streams? They were seriously so good. I kept switching between Ranboo and Techno's POV's trying to keep up with everything. I still have to watch Niki's!

All in all, I'm super, super excited for whats coming next, egg stuff, Syndicate stuff, Tommy stuff, all of it.

[struggling-with-time]

How the lack of a nickname can become something more [Corpse x reader]

Paring: Corpse husband x Gender Neutral!reader

Summary: “Hi! Sorry if this is weird, it’s my first time making a request but could you maybe write something for Corpse Husband where the reader is a streamer that’s very friendly and always calls her friends/people she’s playing with these cute nicknames (like babe, sweetie, hun...). But she has a crush on Corpse, so she never uses any of the nicknames on him and everyone thinks it’s because she doesn’t like him, so she has to explain to her stream?” requested by @voidcaine

Warnings: fluff, sorta angst

Words: 1.9k words

A/N: I had a good idea where this was supposed to go, then it went the complete other direction. Also does anyone want to read my original stuff?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey guys!” You join the discord call with the group of people to start a game of Raft. Tonight, it’s going to be you, Rae, Sykkuno, Toast and Corpse. You all greet each other and exchange pleasantries.

“Hey Y/N, how was your time off?” Toast is the first to ask about your 2 weeks off from streaming.

“Thank you hun, it was pretty nice. I got a lot of things done, and I can soon tell the date of my next project.” You tease your audience.

The rest have already played the Raft before, leading to them giving you a chaotic introduction to the game. Leaving you more confused about what you are supposed to do than before.

“Rae babe, am I supposed to know what’s going on?” You don’t have to wait long, as Rae immediately responds.

“No. Not at all.” Resulting in a laugh from everyone.

You join into the game, and slowly start figure the controls out. Mostly you are just following Sykkuno around and trying to do the same things as him, yet somehow you do it worse.

Sykkuno ends up falling off the raft and gets killed by a shark before long.

“Sykkuno nooo! Not my sweetheart this world is too cruel!” You act dramatic, before he respawns.

“Does this mean I’m a ghost now? Because I will haunt you for pushing me off.” Sykkuno pokes right back at you.

You share another laugh before getting back to trying to make the Raft as big and confusing as ever. Some more time goes by as you head onto your 4th island this stream.

“Hey Corpse, can you get an axe from the Raft when you get onto the island? I forgot to bring one.” You don’t think much of not giving him a nickname like everyone has one. Well you do, more so you can’t bring yourself to give him one, because you are currently harboring a crush for him. Which means calling him an affectionate nickname, feels like lying to yourself about a future that will never happen.

This goes on for the rest of the stream, nobody mentions it, but in the goodbye section of the stream, everyone is on edge but you. The rest convinced that you have something against Corpse, including Corpse. Especially Corpse.

You stay in voice chat so the 5 of you can bid goodbye without your individual audiences listening in.

“Hey thanks for today, it was a good stream!” You cheerfully tell the others.

“Y/N, what was that?” Rae is the first to ask, bringing the issue the rest has had on their minds since the beginning of the stream.

“What was what?”

“What was not giving Corpse a nickname? You give everyone a nickname. If you look on twitter, there are already people asking if you don’t like him.”

“Rae, I can talk for myself, you don’t have to give me a nickname Y/N.” Corpse adds onto the conversation, now that you think about it, the upbeat mood of the stream has started to falter out towards the end of the stream.

“I’m so sorry Corpse! It wasn’t meant like that not at all! I don’t hate you!” You are quick to respond. If you could see Rae right now, you would be able to see her face, realizing what was going on.

“You know what, how about we leave the two of you to talk it out? Yeah? Yeah.” She quickly kicks Toast and Sykkuno from the call and then leaves herself. Before any of you get a chance to say goodbye.

“So… We are alone now…” You try to break the silence.

Corpse doesn’t respond, he can feel himself starting to go through the worst-case scenarios. That you hate him, and don’t want to be friends anymore. He thought the two of you had become close.

“Corpse I’m sorry, I hope you didn’t start to doubt yourself. I didn’t mean to make you feel like this, I’m so sorry. I’ll release a statement or something. I can fix this. I promise.” You have already thrown yourself straight into panic mode, especially after what Rae said about people thinking you hate Corpse.

Corpse can’t help sigh of relief when you start apologizing, “Y/N it’s alright, but why don’t I have a nickname?” Corpse is unsure if this is alright to ask, he wants to know, the two of you have been friends for close to half a year now, and you usually have a nickname for people with in your first time streaming or playing with them.

“I don’t think that’s something we should talk about over discord.” That was how the conversation dried up, a bit of small talk happened before the two of you bid your goodbyes. Leaving you frustrated over knowing Corpse would only think the worst.

The air between you two had thickened after that day, and everyone you ended up streaming with could feel it, while the two of you could hide it from your fans, your friends was a whole other thing. They had caught on to the two of you not being on the best speaking terms.

You wanted to explain yourself but felt that it was better to do face to face. He wanted to tell you he missed talking like the two of you used to do.

Then a chance finally came, Rae was hosting a party, and you were invited. Your first reaction to hearing it was asking if Corpse was coming too. Rae had told you he said yes, so you booked a ticket to the big city from your small town in Colorado. You would be able to stay at the collab house with Rae.

You were excited to meet the others again, you had only been able to meet up with Rae twice before. So, this was a good chance for you to talk to the others some more, and not to mention come clean to Corpse.

You settled down in Rae’s room quickly, and greeted everyone as you walked around the house, waiting for more guest to arrive. You kept looking for Corpse. Making you not the greatest conversational partner as you barely listened, only agreeing, and disagreeing on the right times.

You notice his mop of black curls quickly when he comes into the living room. You immediately leave the conversation you were barely listening to, you try to wave him down, but he doesn’t seem to have noticed you.

You head his way instead; he’s currently talking a bit to Rae probably thanking her for inviting him. You stand a bit to the side not saying anything just waiting for your turn, as to not interrupt their conversation. Rae points to you, and wave you down. You try to act surprised, not just having stood there like a stalker and watched their entire conversation.

“Hey,” you smile at him, and he returns it.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Rae walks away, totally not having planned this so the two of you could meet. Rae had after the awkward conversation gotten the real reason out of you why you didn’t want to give Corpse a nickname. While she had enjoyed teasing you about your crush, she had never spoken a word to anyone else about it.

“So… we finally meet.” You try to break the ice.

“We do, do you want to go outside?”

“Oh, thank god, yes.” You follow after him, not noticing Rae pointing the two of you leaving to go outside to Sykkuno that she might have told your secret to by accident.

You find a bench and settle down, the weather being pretty decent, no wind to be felt.

“You said, you wanted to talk about what has been bothering you face to face?” Corpse gets straight to the thing that’s on both of your minds.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about it, I really am, I’m sorry, I know I’ve been cryptic and-”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, we’re friends. Don’t apologize for existing.” Corpse reassures you.

“Yeah, sorry about that… I don’t know how to tell you this, and I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and I mean that. And I realized I had caught feelings for you, it wasn’t on purpose I swear.”

“Why would-”

“Please let me finish before you ask anything.” You look at him pleading. He nods to let you continue. “I didn’t want to give you a nickname, and I know that’s my entire brand at this point… I just couldn’t get myself to call you something affectionate and keep it platonic in my mind. Because I wanted more, I still do. I don’t want to just be your friend, and I don’t want to ruin what we have, because you are a good friend, one of my best.” You rub your hands over your face.

You can feel the awkwardness radiating off Corpse.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” You get off the bench and prepare to walk away when Corpse grabs around your wrist.

“Didn’t I tell you not to apologize for existing.” You can’t help but laugh a dry laugh, you can feel the tears ready themselves as you wait for the inevitable rejection.

“Corpse, don’t drag this out. I like you okay, and I don’t want to be more hurt over it.” You try to tug your hand to yourself.

“What if I like you too?” He might not have been as in tune with his feelings as you had. However, he had come to realize he had feelings for you. They had crept up on him in the form of suddenly missing you whenever you hung up after talking. They had come at him slow and over a long time, while your feeling had washed over you as a tsunami coursing through your heart.

“Corpse, it’s okay, just let me down gently.” You take you free hand to dry the tears that are now seemingly escaping.

“No Y/N, what if I like you too. Because I do. I like to hear your laugh, I like when we talk so far into the night I can hear your roommates alarm go off. I like when you say my name, even if I was you would give me a nickname.” He can’t help but chuckle. “ I like you Y/N.”

Your tears are now streaming out not of sadness but of the pure happy feeling of having your feeling returned from the guy you never thought who would return them.

He pulls you into a hug.

You can’t help but whisper to him.

“I like you Corpse.”

“I like you too Y/N.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

[illfoandillfie]

Kinktober Day 3: Bukkake

Kinktober Masterlist | Regular Masterlist

Pairing: Primarily Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader and Lucy Boynton x Fem!Reader + also Lucy Boynton x Rami Malek + Gwilym Lee + Joe Mazzello

Words: 4,881

Warnings: bukkake (obviously), oral sex (f receiving), 69ing, cumplay, vibrators, some overstimulation, degredation (being called a slut).

A/N: This is something of a sequel to The Dinner Party. As soon as I saw bukkake was an option for day 3 I knew I had to do something with the borhap boys and then I’m too much of a whore to leave out Lucy so here we are lmao.

The day after the dinner party was a mostly quiet one. Ben treated you to a massage which was very appreciated, and then spent the rest of the day showering you in affection, ignoring your protests that you should be thanking him since he’d helped you live one of your biggest fantasies. You spent a long while talking about it too, going over everything in more detail now that you were in a better headspace to think properly. You talked through the emotions the scene had brought up and how close it came to what you’d been imagining. Ben confided which parts he’d liked most and which parts had made him worried and how he’d come close to safe wording once, when Joe had been spanking you. But for the most part he’d enjoyed it as much as you had and you agreed that neither of you would be opposed to something similar happening again. Although you also agreed that if it was a one-off event that would be okay too.   

Everyone remained in London for some weeks though it was hard to organise a group hang out again. You did meet up with everyone individually – Rami and Lucy joined you when Ben bought tickets to the ballet, you met Joe for dinner and drinks, and played a round of golf with Gwil – but it was difficult to find a time you were all free again. And not for lack of trying. It just seemed as if half of you were always busy at any one time. Lucy kept pushing though, eager to see everyone again, and eventually the planets aligned. A meeting fell through here, a lunch was rescheduled there, and all of a sudden everyone was free. There was some back and forth in the group chat about where to meet but eventually it was decided that your place would serve best again. It felt as if everyone was being careful not to reference the last time they’d all come over. It had felt like that every time you’d seen any of them. The most anyone had said was that dinner had been nice and it was good to catch up. But neither you nor Ben were keen to be the ones that brought it up either. For one thing you didn’t want to seem as if you were fishing for compliments, but there was also the uncertainty about far they’d read into such a comment. But even with the slight awkwardness, neither of you had any complaints about hosting everyone again.   

There was a lot less to prepare this time around, just a small afternoon tea rather than a full dinner. Ben did a run to the store to pick up a few necessities like milk and bread and a bag of apples so you could whip up a simple teacake. You had a quick tidy-up but didn’t need to go to the same amount of effort you’d required to set up for the dinner party. You didn’t have to worry about moving the furniture around, or dressing provocatively, or digging out sex toys, or anything like that. And when everyone arrived you sat around the living room on whichever chairs were available with mugs of tea or coffee, chatting casually, and snacking on sandwiches and cake. Some wine and bottles of beer got opened but that was as raucous as the afternoon seemed likely to get. At least, until an hour or so in when there was a lull in the conversation.   

For a moment all the talk seemed to stop. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. The silence was perfectly tolerable if a little odd considering how many of you there were. You were just about to ask Gwil how the project he was working on was going when Lucy spoke up.   “So that dinner party was fun.” She said, her eyes flicking from you to Ben and back again.   There was a chorus of agreement from everyone else and you giggled, knowing they were all thinking about what it had felt like to fuck you. Ben slowly lowered his beer bottle without it having reached his lips fully and your heartbeat sped up, wondering if they’d have more to say.   “I just have one small regret about the night,”   “Oh?” You felt as if every cell in your body had frozen in anticipation, wondering what Lucy might have regrets about. Had she disliked something that had happened?   “Well,” Lucy took a sip of her wine as if to fortify herself a little, “I wish we’d made out more. We could have made a show of it for the boys.”   Your body had started to work again but at twice the speed, your stomach somersaulting at the suggestion. You tried to keep your voice level, “Y-yeah, that, um, that probably would have been fun.”   Ben’s head had whipped around to look at you and in your peripheral vision you saw Gwil and Rami exchange looks. The same thought was on everybody’s mind but they were waiting for you. Slowly you turned to look at Ben too, already able to see the excitement in his eyes, “What do you say Benny? You okay to watch Me and Luce?”   “Uh,” he cleared his throat and nodded, “Yeah I’d like that a lot.”   “Rami?” you asked, sure he’d already have talked it through with Lucy but wanting to give him a chance to voice any discomfort, “Do you mind if I kiss your girlfriend?”   He chuckled softly, “No, I don’t mind at all.”   “Okay,” you glanced again at Lucy who had eagerly watched the whole exchange, and then back to Ben who nodded at you and took charge of the situation.    “Right. Lads, help me move the furniture a bit so the girls have some room. Babe, go and get a couple of blankets or sheets or something so that we don’t end up with spunk in the carpet.”   You hopped up and hurried to the bedroom as everyone else began rearranging the furniture. Lucy followed you and, to your surprise, so did Ben. He grabbed the pillows from your bed, pulling their covers off so they could be replaced with fresh ones as you dug through the cupboard for some clean sheets.   “Right, what did you ladies have in mind?” he asked softly as you all busied yourselves.   “Well, I guess, maybe me and Lucy will make out-”   “More,” Lucy cut in, “Not just making out, I want to fuck you.”   You gulped, “Okay. Me and Lucy will fuck and you guys can all watch and jack off over us. How does that sound?”   Lucy nodded enthusiastically, “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”   Ben’s eyes flicked between you but he nodded, “That's what I assumed. Just to be clear though, nothing else?”  “What did you have in mind?” Lucy asked slyly, “I’d be up for blowing you guys too if you wanted.”  Ben laughed, though his cheeks flushed pink, “I wasn’t suggesting anything. In fact, I was going to say it’s probably safer if we put a no touch rule in place. I mean if you want things to be more like last time, obviously I’d be into that and I know Y/N would be too.”  You nodded agreement.  “But this is very spur of the moment, and a lot of planning went into last time. I’d at least want to talk to Rami about offering any, well,”  “Any of our holes?” You suggested, making Ben flush more.  “Yes, that.” He said with a small laugh, “It’s probably better if it’s a look but don’t touch situation. Unless you had other ideas.”  “No, that makes sense,” Lucy said, “I did talk with Rami about it already but the idea of me being shared around wasn’t brought up, it was just about everyone watching me and Y/N.”  “Then I think it’s for the best if we stick with that.”  “Yeah, whatever you guys are most comfortable with,” Lucy said, “As long as I still get to play with Y/N’s cunt.”  Ben smiled at having such a statement addressed to him, but he could see your excitement at the idea and was happy to agree on your behalf.    “Right well, I’m going to go make sure Rami knows whats going on. Why don’t you two go and get these sheets spread out, make it comfy for yourselves, and then I’ll go over the rules so everyone hears them and we can get started.”   You pulled Ben into a quick kiss, “Thanks babe. Love you.”   “Go on, go set up.” He laughed, handing Lucy the newly covered pillows, “Who knew we had two sluts in the group.” 

By the time you returned to the main room it looked quite different. The coffee table had been shifted aside, butting up against a wall out of the way. The couch, arm chair and a few spare seats from around the dining table had been rearranged too, creating something of a circle. Ben pulled Rami aside and you were momentarily distracted watching them chat, until Lucy threw a pillow at your head to get your attention. Laughing again, a little giddy with excitement, you helped her spread out the sheets, laying the pillows in the centre. She observed what you’d created with her hands on her hips.   “There, that should do. How you feel about toys? Got a double ended dildo we could use?”   “Ummm, nothing like that. Theres a regular dildo though and a vibrator. Plus y’know, cuffs and paddles and that.”   Lucy shook her head, “What about that one with the remote we used on you last time?”   “Yeah, I’ve still got that. What are you thinking?”   “I’m thinking the boys could control it. And maybe grab the other vibe too?”   You agreed and hurried back to the bedroom as Ben gathered everyone’s attention to explain the rules of the evening.    “So Lucy and Y/N have graciously offered to be tonight's entertainment but there’s to be no touching involved. You are allowed to talk to them, give them suggestions, make comments about them, call them derogatory names – the same sort of thing as last time. And, of course, you’re encouraged to enjoy yourselves fully and have a cheeky wank while watching them. As long as you keep your hands to yourself. Um, what else,” Ben paused as he watched you re-join Lucy in the middle of the circle, “There is lube, if you’d like to use it. And if you are going to cum, try to aim for the girls or at least the sheets and not our furniture or carpet. Of course you can also-”   You stopped listening as Lucy tugged you down to the floor, situating herself above you so she was straddling your waist. She grabbed your wrists as you reached out to touch her, pushing them over your head and pinning them against the floor as she leaned down to kiss you.   You couldn’t help but arch into her, Ben’s voice calling you a slut still ringing in your ears, as you tried to deepen the kiss. 

Ben had long stopped talking, all four of the guys completely focused on you and Lucy. You were vaguely aware of the sounds of them getting comfortable as Lucy let your wrists go. She sat up straighter and drew her dress over her head, revealing the matching bra and panties she wore.    “Came prepared?” you asked which just made her laugh.  “Now you,” she said, shuffling back so she could strip you too. You hadn’t put in as much effort with your underwear, not having expected to show it off for anyone other than Ben, but someone still let out a long low whistle of appreciation.  Lucy giggled as she resettled herself on your hips and leaned down to kiss you again, distracting you as her hand reached for the vibrator.   You jolted as she pressed it against your clothed clit, holding it there until you let out a soft hum of pleasure. And then, just as soon as it had started it stopped. Lucy sat up again and looked around at the entranced men, all of whom seemed to be a little dazed.   “Well c’mon boys. We wanna see your cocks.”   There was a sharp intake of breath and then you heard zips lowering as each of them complied with Lucy’s request.    She just grinned at you.  

You had enough time to glance around and see Ben in one chair, slowly stroking his semi-hard dick, before Lucy surprised you with the vibrator again. She held it against you, turning up the speed of the vibrations and using the tip to draw circles over your clit as you squirmed underneath her. Rocking forward Lucy let out her own soft hum of pleasure as she rubbed herself against the vibrator too.  From somewhere above you came a soft groan from one of the boys, though it was hard to tell who exactly when Lucy was once again adjusting the speed of the toy. She turned it up a notch, the buzzing getting louder as the speed increased, and held it firmly in place. Her other hand rested against your thigh so her back was arched slightly as she rocked against the toy, both of you keening and moaning softly as it drew you towards the edge.   You came first, mouth falling open as you shuddered with the orgasm, but Lucy kept the vibrator in place until she’d reached her peak too. She didn’t take much longer than you did but it was long enough to have you whining as the pleasure teetered on the edge of pain. You felt nearly breathless as she shut it off and put it aside.  

Looking up at your captive audience, Lucy asked, “What would you fellers like to see me do to the slut next?”  It was quiet for a bit. You waited, still trying to catch your breath, to see if anyone would comment on your fate.  After a moment Joe spoke up, “I think you shouldn’t throw stones in glass houses Luce. You’re as much of a slut as Y/N.”  Lucy laughed, “Fair point. So then what would you like to watch two sluts do?”  Joe didn’t even pause, “I think you should 69.”  “That does sound fun,” Lucy said, already reaching for your knickers, “Someone unclasp my bra for me?”  You let her work your underpants down your legs, watching as Joe happily stood up to help Lucy with her bra. She shucked it off and stood to remove her panties which gave you time to rid yourself of your own bra, leaving you both naked.   The next thing you knew as you settled back against the pillow, was Lucy lowering herself over your lips and the salty sweet tang on your tongue as you licked along her wet slit.   She hummed in response, and rocked against you, cooing about how good you were and how you were going to make her cum again, encouraging you to delve deeper and taste more of her.   “I said 69 Luce,” Came Joe’s voice and then she lowered her head to your pussy too, her breath warm as she lightly licked along your lips. 

Knowing that there were so many eyes on you was definitely a turn on, especially when you could hear the boys. They made comments about you and Lucy, calling you good sluts for keeping them entertained, grunting about how hot it was to watch as they stroked themselves. And then there was the sound of their strokes too, hands on skin, occasionally assisted by the wet of lube or spit. You could hear their hisses and hitched breaths mixed in with Lucy’s own sounds as she spread your lips with her fingers and lapped up your juices. The only problem was that Lucy’s ministrations were too light. Her tongue and lips felt nice as she traced them along your slit and flicked against your clit, but you wished she’d be a little firmer or faster. To compensate, or maybe in an attempt to demonstrate what you wanted, you sucked harder, pressed your tongue more firmly to her cunt. Which just made her climax sooner. She moaned when she hit her release, still bent over you but breaking contact so you were left wishing she’d just keep going.   She rode out her orgasm on your face and then sighed with satisfaction as she crawled off you.  “Lucy,” you pouted, wiping your mouth, “I didn’t finish.”  She clicked her tongue and mockingly pouted back as she knelt between your legs, “Boo hoo.” Her fingers lightly traced along your lower stomach, making you shiver, “You already came once, isn’t that enough.”  “I’d prefer more.”  She let her hand trail lower, down to your clit, “Hmm, my mistake.”  And then all of a sudden she was pressing two of her fingers into you, making you gasp. With her free hand she spread your lips open, offering the others a clear view of her fingers disappearing into your hole, all the while teasing you for being so wet and so desperate for more.  You moaned as she adjusted her pace, speeding up, fucking you hard and fast with her two digits, but it wasn’t enough to get you close to orgasm.   “Please,” you whined after a little while, but Lucy only laughed, continuing to finger you in the same way for a few more strokes before suddenly pulling out.  

Before you could so much as open your mouth to swear, Lucy was pushing something new into you.  Your voice cracked with your moan as she turned the egg on, the vibrations hitting all the spots Lucy hadn’t hit before. You were aware of Lucy kneeling over you as you writhed on the floor, unable to escape the constant stimulation. But, as you drew closer to the edge, it became harder and harder to take in what was happening around you. You were vaguely aware of one of the boys groaning but otherwise you were completely oblivious to the rest of the group, entirely consumed by your cunt and the release you’d so craved washing over you. Even when Gwil stood up aimed his cock at you, rapidly jerking himself until his semen painted your stomach, you barely had any clue it was happening. No one had stopped the egg, no one had slowed it. You gasped Lucy’s name, trying to tell her it was becoming too much but she didn’t answer. It wasn’t her fault though. You were too distracted to notice that Joe had gripped Lucy’s hair and pulled her around to face him. As you clutched at the sheets and wailed to god, Joe was groaning through his own orgasm, one hand holding Lucy in place so that not a drop missed her face. You only became aware that Lucy no longer had the controls when Ben shoved her down and told her to suck on your tits. Whoever had taken the controller from her, or picked it up when she dropped it, was kind enough to slow the vibrations to a less consistent pattern but they didn’t turn it off. Instead you experienced brief moments of piece between the harsh seconds of high intensity vibrations. And on top of that your nipple was enveloped by the warm wet of Lucy’s mouth. Joe’s cum spread from her cheeks and lips to your skin as she mouthed and kissed at every inch of your breasts. It must have made for a nice show because before long Ben was splattering his seed over Lucy’s back as Rami sprayed cum over your neck and into your mouth as you opened it to scream through another orgasm.  

When the egg did stop, you were panting for air. Lucy was on her knees again, facing away from you and giggling as she drew her fingers across her cheek and licked them clean, clearly putting on a show for the boys.   “You guys really must like seeing us be so slutty,” she laughed and you saw Ben and Gwil nod in unison. Gwil was already hard again, slowly stroking himself once more though Ben clearly needed some more time to recover. Sitting up, you glanced around and saw Rami watching you as Joe examined the controls of the egg. An idea had already formed as to how to get some revenge upon Lucy and so you held your finger to your lips before either Rami or Joe could give you away. Joe winked and Rami broke into a smile as you reached out for the discarded vibrator and quietly shuffled towards Lucy, her back still marked with Ben’s cum. Of course, both Ben and Gwil spotted you creeping up but they held their silence, Gwil telling Lucy to open her legs a little wider as if it would help get him off again. She obliged, her focus entirely on his weeping cock as she absentmindedly touched her pussy.   “I know I’m not allowed to touch you,” Gwil said, “but I think it would be alright if you helped me out, don’t you?”  “I suppose that would be okay,” Lucy said, hesitating for half a second before drawing her wet hand away from herself and reaching up to grasp Gwil’s cock.   It gave you the perfect opportunity to close the distance between you and to press the tip of the vibrator against her hole,quickly pushing it in as you turned it on. It didn’t come up against much resistance, wet as she was.   “What the f-oh!” She gasped as you thrust the buzzing toy in and out of her, adjusting the angle until her legs tensed and she moaned. And then you held it there as she dropped her hand and tried to bat you away. You tutted in her ear and told her you were just repaying her for what she’d done to you, beginning to properly fuck her with the toy, keeping it angled to hit whatever spot you’d located that she clearly enjoyed. The sight of you pumping the vibrator into Lucy’s pussy as you reached around to palm at her breasts obviously worked for Ben, his cock getting stiffer before your eyes. You heard Joe and Rami move towards you as well, though you couldn’t see how eagerly they watched as Lucy cried out and came.  You felt very pleased with yourself for about a second before the egg jolted to life inside you again and you matched Lucy’s cry with your own, your hand slipping from the end of the vibrator. It stayed inside Lucy for a little longer, her cunt clenching so hard that it kept the toy in place, but before long it had slipped from her, still buzzing where it lay on the sheets.  Joe still held the controls for the egg and adjusted them constantly, making the egg buzz higher and lower and stop and start so that you were barely feeling it beyond brief bursts of pain tinged pleasure.  “Fuck that was hot,” Gwil grunted, his thumb spreading precum over his tip and down his length, “Both of you sluts looks at me.”  You dragged your eyes up to his cock, watching how his fist sped up as he got closer and closer and then finally came again, making sure to hit you and Lucy’s chests. 

There was a cheer as you felt yourself be manhandled into facing Lucy. She winked at you and bent forward to lick the cum from your tits, keeping it on her tongue so that when she kissed you, you could taste it. It mingled with her saliva and yours, streaked over your lips as Lucy deepened the kiss, making sure her tongue met yours so she could share every drop. What sperm had newly been spread over Lucy’s chest soon smeared across yours as she pulled your in close, your nipples brushing as you got drunk on her kiss. You were still feeling buzzes from the egg inside you though you doubted Joe still had the controller since the pattern was no longer as random. However, Lucy had no toy shoved inside her cunt to keep her on edge. Instead she manoeuvred so that her pussy pressed against your thigh, leaving a wet trail where she dragged it over your skin.   You automatically lay a hand on Lucy’s back to hold you steady, inadvertently spreading the cum that had been left over her.   That did it for Ben who grunted as he dripped more cum over you and Lucy as you made out.  “Go on Luce, pin the whore and grind your cunts together.” Rami suggested, clearly enjoying seeing his girlfriend on top of someone else.   She didn’t need to be asked twice, gladly pressing you to the sheet again and climbing on top.   All you could do was whine at the inconsistent vibrations within you, looking up as Lucy pressed her pussy against yours, their slick mixing as she gyrated her hips. And then you felt it. Lucy had reached for the still on vibrator that had fallen from her. She pressed it between you and at the same moment, whoever now held the controller for the egg vibrator turned it up so that you felt the buzzing from inside and out. You screamed at the combination of sensations, pinned under Lucy and unable to escape.   Lucy was moaning too, getting off on you. And you felt a sticky kind of wetness as Rami’s orgasm landed on your mound. Lucy used her fingers to spread it across her pussy and then continued to grind against you, the white of his release adding to the creamy wetness that already existed from both your cunts.   You were the next to cum, unable to hold off as the egg got louder and faster. And then Joe who didn’t seem too fussed about aiming for either of you. His cum spilt onto the sheets around you but neither of you noticed. You were too busy whining as you once again became overstimulated and Lucy was entirely distracted by her quest for a final orgasm. By the time she reached it you were nearly crying, but thankfully she shook with her well earned climax and then slipped from you to lay on the floor.  

Ben had already zipped himself away and was quick to catch the vibrator and turn it off as whoever had the controls mercifully switched yours off as well.  You hissed when you tried to move, the egg still rubbing the sensitive spot but Ben hushed you and gently removed it from your pulsing pussy.   “Joe, Gwil. D’you guys want to get everyone some water?” He asked, though it wasn’t really a question.  They agreed and you heard their footsteps disappear through the doorway. Once they’d gone, Rami helped Lucy up as Ben helped you, leaning in to kiss your forehead softly.  “Are you both okay?” Rami asked, concern written in his features.  Lucy said yes as you nodded and, satisfied, they assisted you towards the bathroom, letting you each lean against them as you walked slowly.  Ben tried to insist on helping you clean up but you told him it was fine and shut the door so that you and Lucy could run some warm water and clear away the evidence of your debauchery.   Lucy laughed, seeming less worn by the second, as you scrubbed her back clean with a flannel, “That was a lot of fun.”  “Yeah it was. Really glad you suggested it.”  “Good. I was a little worried you wouldn't go for it after last time.”  “Are you kidding? Me and Ben were both kind of wondering if anyone would want to do something like that again. But we didn’t want to just ask for it in case it seemed like that was the only reason we’d want to hang out.”  “Think it’s safe to say everyone would be on board if you ever suggested a dinner party again.”  You laughed too, “Yeah, I think you’re right. 

Rami knocked on the door as you were washing yourselves so he could return your clothes to you and by the time you were both redressed the living room was almost back to normal. The chairs were still rearranged but no one seemed too bothered by it. When the boys realised you and Lucy were coming back, a round of applause broke out. You laughed, a little embarrassed, but gave a bow as if you were completing a performance, Lucy joining in beside you. She made her way to the couch where Rami sat, curling up and laying her head in his lap as she finally relaxed. You found Ben, sure you weren’t going to have the same emotional reaction you’d had to the events of the dinner party but wanting to be near him just in case. He was in an arm chair so you climbed onto his lap, resting your head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around you.   You felt tired and a little sore but very very satisfied and your heart was nearly bursting with how lucky you were to know such a wonderful group of people.   Ben’s hand was warm and heavy where it rested on your side but you didn’t mind. It was comforting. As was the gentle rumble of his chest as he spoke, laughing with Joe about something as if there hadn’t been an interruption 

Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini

[trying-to-get-somewhere-real]

Wait what is the New Yorker saying about Ava? I am invested. Please tell us!! Thoughts and how they’re wrong. Thank you in advance

Hey nonnie! The New Yorker’s tv critic, Doreen St. Félix, put Hacks on their “Best TV of 2021” list, but as you can see in the blurb below, they went out of their way to say that they only did it because of Deborah/Jean, and Ava is basically just “millenial stock fare.”

Okay so, I obviously love Jean/Deborah an immeasurable amount, and know first-and-foremost that her performance and character made the show what it is. But I have many thoughts about why this is reductive, unfair, and just plain wrong, and tend to think in bullets because of my job, so here comes a numbered list.

1.  A small thing, but Ava isn’t a Millennial--she’s a Zillennial at best, but really she’s Gen Z! Critics who call her a Millennial with a straight face seem to have completely missed one of the major jokes of the show in such a profound way that it makes me question anything else they say after that.

2. I personally don’t believe Ava feels much like a stereotype after the pilot, but even if I wanted to give this critic some leeway and allow that some viewers might feel that she continues to seem like one for a good portion of the season, it still doesn’t matter that much: pretending you can love Deborah without appreciating Ava is fundamentally missing the point of the show. So much that we end up learning and loving about Deborah is only through Ava--through her eyes and their developing relationship. One of my favorite things that I’ve read on this site this month is @nakedmonkey’s reply to an ask about how someone could really like Ava, and I’m just gonna send you there if you haven’t read it, because they express this sentiment much better than I could. You can have favorites, but if you don’t appreciate why Ava is just as important to the story and that you wouldn’t be able to love Deborah in the same way without everything that Ava pulls out of her, you really don’t understand the show at all.

3. This blurb did force me to take a step back and consider that maybe Ava doesn’t get to be fleshed out or centered in the way that Deborah is: even though she’s always talking and always moving and Deborah is the one who plays everything close to the vest, so much of their story is Ava learning about Deborah’s past tragedies, which give Deborah a lot of depth as a character. Deborah has to be willing to share them of course, and Ava does that, but they are still hers and they center her. For example, in New Eyes, yes, Deborah learns about what happened with George, but mostly Ava learns about many of the tragedies of Deborah’s past and how she dealt with them--Deborah is given a lot of dimension that episode, as is the relationship between the two of them, but is Ava as an individual? (I think so, but Devil’s Advocate here). And Tunnel of Love is about Deborah/DJ and Deborah/Marty and while *of course* it’s also about Ava/Deborah, one could argue that it is mostly Ava being oriented towards Deborah--again centering Deborah as Ava is working through her feelings about her--and not necessarily vice versa. But I think this sort of perspective diminishes the things that are most special about Ava’s character: the way she gets in Deborah’s face and forces her to be honest is uniquely Ava and vital to the show and their relationship! On a personal note, irl I tend to be a listener who lets the people I love have the spotlight and wants to help/support them more than taking up much space myself, so maybe I project a little, but I think that role is very valuable and not just anyone can do it. (yes, it’s ironic that Ava is the one who can never stop talking and often seems to take up a lot of space, and I still think she serves primarily as a support for Deborah to have the spotlight). And in this show, no one has done it for Deborah in literal decades? IT IS NOT A SMALL THING! 

4. Not all Zoomers are chaotic and self-involved! Those traits are special to Ava lmao. This critic really shows their prejudices by calling Ava a stereotype when many of her arguably less-attractive characteristics aren’t universal. She may be an a**hole, but she’s an  a**hole because she’s Ava, not because she’s Gen Z.

5. This critic doesn’t come right out and say that Ava is a stereotype because there isn’t enough scaffolding to explain her behavior, but I can’t help but infer that, and while I don’t know how old Doreen St. Félix is, it smacks of ageism to me. Why isn’t it enough to just want to be seen/accepted/appreciated for who you are when your mom never got you? (and nobody else did either) Why can’t that be enough? That is relatable to soooooooooooo many people. Homegirl never had a single real friend before--I hope to god that isn’t the universal Gen Z experience! (full disclosure: I am a geriatric Millenial and am still always very defensive about Ava).

I could say more, but will save you all and cut myself off here. Tagging the person who I ranted to about this last night @queerofdenial in case they have any additional thoughts and also to thank them again for listening to me rant!

[thatsthetriick]

Y/n looking at Jojos as competitions/rivals (hcs)

Summary: You consider the Jojos a rival, and competition when it gets to grades and all, they never did anything to you but you’re just generally annoyed at them because you think they’re better than you and you’re annoyed that they are better than you, you’re not jealous just annoyed that they exceeded you. (basically enemies to lover for short) Inspiration: Based on real life thoughts with a person honestly lmaO I really think they are a compeition(they don’t know) but in the end it’s just a friendly thing. Disclaimers: Underage smoking (Just because this action is being done here it doesn’t mean you should do it too, for both my adult and teen audiences i rlly don’t recommend this and just because I used it in this fic doesn’t mean you should do it as well) , and  mentions of violence, or implied violence, drugs are also mentioned( i repeat i do not encourage these behaviours in real life) Header: Orange Other writings: Masterlist/Taglist Requests/questions: Ask/Request Box

Jojos as your Rivals

Jonathan Joestar

  ✧ God. To you he was really annoying, teachers praised him and he was a top student in the rankings and a teacher’s pet, you’d never see him complain, cry, or anything at all.

  ✧ Of course he was the class president and a student council so it annoyed you more since he was kind of like a mary sue in your eyes, the fact that he got good grades and doesn’t seem to have a hard time in the things he does really annoy you.

 ✧ You were in the top 3 top students except you’re in 3rd place and you could never beat Jonathan, moreover he’s also an athlete and you were bothered that girls were practically drooling to him. But despite this you’ll never do anything to seek revenge, you won’t embarrass him or frame him because you still have morals.

 ✧ Though you were just grumpy and passive agressive to him sometimes whenever the teacher asks him to help you, you really didn’t like receiving help from him because for you, you think that’s a sign of weakness.

 ✧ Of course you get parterned up with him a big project that was considered as your examination and you hated it. You treated it more of a individual work, but after knowing him a bit from that project you kinda like how he acted, polite, kind and patient.

  ✧ Everytime he sees you struggle and you decline for help he’ll just go behind you or besides you and either guide your hands to fix it or he’ll fix it himself and he’ll just smile afterwards, it was really cute and you’ll mentally slap yourself for liking him, were you forgetting he was rival?

 ✧ He’ll slowly consider you as a friend and he would really really feel guilty for assuming that you were a rude person base on you act towards him but he eventually thinks that you’re a kind person in the inside but a bit stubborn and he finds that cute.

 ✧ If it’s a love story you and him will secretly date and its not obvious to the world that you two are dating, you were never touchy with him in public, you two still acted the same honestly, a bit stubborness coming from you and stubborness from Jonathan because he’s really willing to help you with everything, eitherway you two only have playful fights and a few REAl arguments here an there but you two eventually make up again a few days later.

 ✧ If it’s a platonic relationship you two would be the bestest of friends and you two would have playful arguments and some people would literally ship you two because of your friendship.

 Joseph Joestar

 ✧ This guy was intelligent but lazy and yet he still gets 1st place in the class as a top student with A+ grades, and you found it also annoying that he was naturally talented and effortlessly got them, you sometimes wonder if he cheats.

 ✧ And because you think he cheats you go out of your way to site his essays and public works to see if he uses references or anything, but no this guy is just naturally talented and you felt like he didn’t deserve especially with his laid off attitude.

 ✧ Now you don’t show your passive aggressive side to him because you know better not to make him think that you’re literally angry at him, for you he’s just a competition and another boss level to defeat, it’s not personal just a fun thing you do so you don’t take out your anger out on him.

 ✧ He is also an athlete, of course the Joestar bloodline and legacy literally revolves around the sports they take, so it was no surprise, you on the other hand is also an athlete and you would most likely take the competition seriously whenever there’s a boys vs girls basketball game, you were the MVP let’s just say, sports was like your whole life.

 ✧ Of course there’s an annual event that the high school hosts where as every student will be competing against each other, the remaining 4 players will be the ones set out to compete to another sports festival in a different school. They will choose 4 players per sport.

 ✧ Of course you chose to marathon since you were honestly swift and that was more on your main sport, running. And it was Joseph’s as well and you two had to compete with each other among other students, he’ll say something cocky to you that is enough to motivate you to defeat him.

 ✧ Eventually you and Joseph were one of the 4 people chosen to compete in another school, and though it took awhile for you two to agree on things you two won the tournament with teamwork and ever since then your friend consists of constant and non stop teasing and playful banters.

 ✧ “What do you mean? I clearly made our team win!” he’d say and you’d just roll your eyes at his cockiness. Though you’d retort with something cocky as well.

Jotaro Kujo

 ✧ You honestly don’t know why this guy was even a top student he often gets into fights and the teachers just shrug it off,  you find it annoying he gets to answer everything before you and finish quizzes before you and you get so pissed and can’t understand why is he quick and he doesn’t seem like a type to review.

 ✧ He’s pissed at every fangirl he has and he is pissed at you sometimes as well because you try avoiding him, yeah he’s aware of your competitiveness and he doesn’t really care that much.

 ✧ But you do so you basically you’re like legit pissed at him and you think that he also doesn’t deserve his intelligence since he’s just wasting it away by smoking cigarettes at the back of the school and fighting people it was honestly annoying and you wish you had his intelligence at the same time.

 ✧ Unlike the others maybe in this one you’re being constantly pressured by high grades so you started smoking as well to relieve your stress, you’d somberly sulk at the back of the school as well smoking your problems away it made you feel calm for some reason.   ✧ He sees you there and mumbles a “Tch” while he adjusts his cap and walk near you and light up his cigarette and doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t honestly care what you were doing, anyone was allowed to do anything they want to do so he left you there.  ✧ Honestly he started getting concerned of you when you were often doing it, even he knew that too much is too much. “ That’s enough” he’ll say and take your cigarette pack away, “Touche” you’ll just roll your eyes and walk away. He’d always stop you from smoking, you were getting addicted honestly and it’s not helping since every minute you were getting stressed out.  ✧ When you’re not listening to him he’ll agressively tell you to “cut it off bitch.” or something along those lines, and you didn’t really know he was a person who hid his feelings so you snapped and scolded him that you were a mess because of him  and took out all of your anger and left honestly.  ✧ He couldn’t care less what you said about him and tried to accompany you at the back of the school or in the rooftops everytime it’s break or the end of classes, he didn’t speak that much but he was a good listener and constantly listened to your problems, eventually this is a routine and you treasured every second of it.  ✧ It became a thing that you two basically  sit on the rooftop talking to each other, from then on he’d accompany you outside of school as well and you two would hangout and it would be nice quiet moments when he’s around, he’s also a very protective friendship. Josuke Higashikata  ✧ This guy really doesn’t care about his grades and yet he gets high score it was also annoying that teachers adore him, and that every girl adores him as well. Unfortunately you two were partners for a spelling Bee. Only professors were allowed to choose who participates, and though Josuke might not be accurate with his english pronounciations and spellings he still had high grades and it annoyed you that he got to participate his weak subjects just because he has high grades.  ✧ Honestly he’d hate it as well and would just play games all day long instead of studying or anything, and during the spelling bee he didn’t help at all and you were pissed at him. Even though you were softly and passive agressively scolding him he didn’t get mad back and just said a “Okay okay! I’m sorry.” he’ll apologize and try to study but he’ll get distracted.  ✧ Teachers still continued to praise him and gave no praise to you at all even though you carried your partner to the finish line, that’s why you hated Josuke, he was loved by everyone and you never understood why, was it his personality? Smarts? What was it?   ✧ From that then you’ll break into his house with no permission and catch him playing video games. You’ll scold him to study the words and act like a strict teacher towards him, he dozed off a lot and was laid back and distracted, yet he was still able to answer some of them.  ✧ This is why you didn’t like him he was too laid back and didn’t seem to take things seriously, because of this you suggested a break and he went back t o playing his video games and getting frustrated, and even though you were tight while teaching him he was kind enough to still offer you to play with him. You were going to decline but you still accepted it.  ✧ This is where you saw his true personality, he talked about a lot of things and you two ended up having fun as you two play, you didn’t mind this moment and you’d want it to treasure it forever honestly. You brought up your personality as well to him, you started showing your true colors and he really liked the fact that you weren’t an overbearing person at all.  ✧ ever since then you two manage to win the competitions and manage to play at the same time. You two became the bestest friends which was unexpected since you considered him as a rival, though you’re still annoyed because everytime you ask him to teach you he’ll teach really badly and you wouldn’t understand anything from him. Giorno Giovanna   ✧ This guy was a quiet yet smart type, he often sits at the back of the class dazing off the window and yet still able to answer questions of the teacher even when not paying attention.   ✧ Though you compete with him you know not to mess with him honestly, though a lot of really negative rumours constantly spread about him. Like his family problem and things like that so you pity him at some times.  ✧ Girls adore him, something about the Joestars getting fangirls annoys you a lot. They baby him, and even though sometimes he gets annoyed and straightforwadly tells them to go away sometimes he’d entertain them and be kind. Teachers always saw him as a role model student it makes you barf.  ✧He’ll also probably hangout with his school gang, nobody knows what this gang does honestly, the teachers just leave him be just because they want to just leave him be and they’re too naive; thinking that it’s just a normal innocent gang where it’s a group of kids hanging out.  ✧ You caught up his ‘gang’ beating up someone and since you were a witness he saw you as a immediate threat(or so you though) and this quiet kid did a whole 180 with his personality and looked at you menacingly.  ✧ You don’t know how to approach him that you won’t tell anyone you’ve witnessed and always ran away everytime he approaches you or everytime his gang approaches you. Now your rivalary and competiting against grades is now ruined because this guy could always beat you anyday when it gets to physical fights, or so you thought.  ✧ You always ate lunch at the rooftop so he kind of took this opportunity to calmly sit besides you and talk to you about what you saw, he just wanted to give you context so that you wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Apparently that guy was an adult selling drugs to a bunch of graduating elementary kids.  ✧ You were relieved he wasn’t gonna beat you up and put you in the sewers, you took this time to also talk to him to actually see he was a nice guy, a gentle man and that you thought he was a cocky student because you always assumed him like that, not only that but you assumed him being a playboy as well since he gets so much attention.  ✧ You confess all of this to him and he let’s out a quick chuckle and you just laugh as you confess all of your thoughts and competitiveness against him, he was a good listenered actually, and didn’t take it really personally, he knew deep inside that you were a good person even though before you used to give him a scary glare when you two didn’t talk yet.  ✧ From that day on you start catching up to him in the hallways and talk and all his fangirls would practically hate you and give you glares as you two are having a good time.  ✧ He’ll make sure you’re out of his school gang businesses and arguments with other gangs, he may not say or sometimes express it but he always cares for you and tries to be supportive in littliest ways such as listening and remembering to every detail you tell him.  ✧ you’d still playfully compete with him and if he wins you’re okay with it unlike before

Thanks for reading! Reqs are open! My only requirements is no nsfw and probbably not part 5 yet since im not there hihi.(P.s I do canon x oc :) ) Sorry for not uploading for awhile

[felikatze]

give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man

(0) (2) (3) (4)

okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.

buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.

1. A as the Player Character

Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.

Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.

I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.

I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.

Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.

The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.

The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.

Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."

2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind

So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?

Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.

Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.

This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.

So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:

First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."

Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."

Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.

But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?

And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?

3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage

No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.

Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.

While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.

After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.

In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.

Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!

This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.

This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.

In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?

Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.

4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance

A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.

This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.

Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.

Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.

But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.

Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!

Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.

By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.

The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.

As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.

5. The Sephirah as ghosts

Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.

As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.

And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.

This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.

The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.

So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.

But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.

(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)

6. A's end.

A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.

A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)

So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.

This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.

However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.

Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.

At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.

This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.

Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.

[razieltwelve]

LoveHunt (Final Rose)

"You seriously made a dating app for hunters?” Lumina asked Vanille.

“Yep. It’s actually part of an initiative put forward by all of the major kingdoms and pretty much all of the mid-sized kingdoms as well. Simply put, we need to make sure that as many hunters as possible are able to have families and produce kids.” Vanille nodded sagely. “It’s for the good of civilisation!”

“Is that so?”

“Of course.” Vanille struck a pose. “And being such a benevolent person, I decided to do my part.”

“I bet they’re throwing a sackful of money at you.”

“It’s more like a giant dump truck full of money, but I get what you’re saying.” Vanille rubbed her chin. “Sure, anyone could throw together an app, but what makes LoveHunt different is that it’s powered by some of the most effective algorithms in existence. There’s a lot going on under the hood to ensure that every hunter finds their perfect match.”

“...”

“A lot of the algorithms were actually trained by using the dating histories of current hunters. Since there are a lot of examples of hunters who got married and started families, all I had to do was automate an investigation of their dating histories, which wasn’t hard since I basically built the InfoNet with Hope, and then develop categories that could be used to classify individuals along a variety of traits. Once I did that, it wasn’t difficult to start training algorithms to detect ideal matches.” Vanille lowered her voice. “Honestly, it was basically free money since the majority of the work for this was already completed for some other projects I’ve got going.”

“I’m not sure I even want to know what those projects are.”

“It’s nothing to villainous,” Vanille replied. “Anyway, things are going great. Nobody wants to admit that they actually use the app, but I’ve already got hundreds of hunters signing up. Hunters are often quite time poor, so anything that can help them improve their dating efficiency is going to be welcome. Based on the incoming data, I believe I’ll be able to start advertising marriages spurred on by LoveHunt in as little as six months.”

“That quickly?”

“Oh, yeah. Some of the matches that have been made are pretty much perfect and involved people who don’t believe in wasting time. They’ll probably meet, kill a bunch of stuff together, and then get married. Once I have proof that this actually works, I expect it to really take off.”

X     X     X

“Okay...” Diana had to hold back her laughter. “This is hilarious.”

“Oh, shut up.” Averia scowled. “I don’t know why I agreed to help you with this.”

“Because you thought it would be hilarious.” Diana snickered. “Making fake profiles to test Aunt Vanille’s app is a pretty fun way to spend an afternoon.”

“Isn’t this bad for the platform? Making fake profiles seems like it would be bad.”

“Don’t worry. The app automatically checks to ensure that everyone on it is actually a hunter. What we’re doing now is all invisible to average users. We’re really just checking the matching engine. Nobody who matches with our fake profiles will see a thing. Still...” Diana chuckled. “This is funny.”

Averia sighed. “I’m telling you. I do not have a sister fixation.”

“I don’t know.” Diana waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “The two of us both entered what are basically real profiles but without using our real names. According to this we’re super compatible.” She gasped in mock horror. “Should I be concerned?”

“Just shut up.”

“Anyway,” Diana said. “Let’s enter profiles that match some of the others. I’m curious to know if there’s anyone they might match up with.”