#anyone want to have some tequilla with me?

[herlittlebunnyboy]

I need to take the edge off, tumblr I'm having a drink. . . Or a couple. Because I can't just lay in bed grinding and humping away any more. So head up this could get way worse or way better depending on your expectations.

Prost!

Salud!

Cheers!

Nostrovia!

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

I have so many thoughts about my egg ocs and no way to convey them. aaaaaaaaaa

[levilaughlove]

❝𝐒𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩❞

w;c : 1k+ (fuuccc)

warning: bottom!m!reader || toxic reader? || levi being butthurt || monster fucking || nsfw || minors dni || male bod reader || reader is a slut || oops, made him cry || Modern AU || heavy lemon - I gave Levi a height boost. He is 8 inches taller than reader. ily lol || x Erwin??? brat taming??

You are a very attractive man. Like, get anyone you wanted type of a man. You had an attractive body and a haircut/style that just fit you so well.

You also are very observant. You work at a high class modeling agency and you are one of the world's top paid male models. You are first and someone you work with often is 2nd.

"Good-morning Levi." You said with a smile. "Good-morning, M/n." Levi said avoiding your gaze, tips of his ears red. Noticing this you smirk to yourself.

"Um, Pat needs emergency green screen photo's from you so you should go see him." Levi mentioned still looking away. "Alright talk soon." You said flirty under the cut and walked away. You heard Levi sigh relieved just before the voices in the room slowly faded.

"Pat. You needed me?" You ask, peeking your head into the equipment room. "Yes! I did, we are lacking in photos from you heavily and the people...as bad as it sounds.. aren't that interested in seeing the other models as much as you.

That high-key gave you a power boost but you wouldn't say that out loud. "So, we've prepared some quick outfits from Prada and Balenciaga. Try em' all on. We got work to do." Pat says enthusiastically. You sigh. It's gonna be a long day.

Many hours later, you're finally finished with you photo-shoot and you're heading out to the indoor parking lot. "M/n!" A woman's voice echos through the lot. You turn to see a blonde woman with blue eyes. "Krista!" You smile. "Hey hey! How are you?---Scratch that there is bigger things to talk about." Krista says joyfull. "Well, get to it." You say impatient. "Erwin is hosting a colleague party for the huge skyrocket in revenue. You're our top paid model. You HAVE to be there!" She smiled widely, clearly excited. "I mean how could I say no?" You smile slightly.

"When is it held?" "Tomorrow night at 11:00pm." "Alright, i'll definitely be there." "See you."

The night ended on a good note. You had takeout for dinner, had a h or c shower then went to bed. The next day wasn't very eventful, you went to a couple fashion shows like normal, then shopped online most of the day.

Soon came Erwin's revenue party, you had a very eye catching outfit. (you can choose) You took an uber as you planned on having a couple drinks. You finally arrived at Erwin's penthouse and you knocked. "Hey M/n. Good to see you." You low-key had the hots for Erwin. He was very handsome and slightly reserved. "I was hoping you'd come." He smiled.

"It's your party. I'd never miss it. " Your eyes darkening. Erwin let you in and you were greeted by many colleagues. You felt an intense gaze and soon realized it was Levi. When you noticed him, he looked away embarrassed. You knew exactly what you'd do.

You walked over to Levi, drink in hand. "Hey. You didn't say hi to me." You say with a fake sad tone. "Yeah, sorry. I just-." He stopped. "Hmm?" "I don't know. Can I get you another drink to make it up?" Levi offered. "Sure. Then I can show you something." Levi had a curious look on his face but didn't ask any questions.

"What can I get you?" A woman with short brown hair asked. "Um, 2 Lemon-drop tequilas. Extra tequilla please." Levi requested. You stared at him with lust which Levi noticed many times. "Be right up!"

You start a normal convo with Levi at one of the tables in the penthouse. "M/n!" Marco called from the pool table. "Wanna play?"

You look over at Levi who looks a bit bummed at the sudden end of the convo. That secretly made you want to press it more. You look back over to the pool table. Erwin giving pleading eyes and you give in. "Sorry Levi, talk soon?" "Sure.."

You knew you were an asshole. Not that you cared however. You walked over to the pool table. Those around you began to chant "Illegal shot, Illegal shot, Illegal shot!" You were focused but a bit tipsy. You made the shot anyway. Everyone around the room cheered.

You can see Levi staring in your peripheral view. You took this as an opportunity to stir some more shit up. You look at Erwin and tell him to follow you. Erwin knowing where this is going, takes your hand as you lead him to another side of the penthouse.

Levi begins to shift around the room unsubconsciously following you. When you see nobody is around beside Erwin and Levi who is around the corner, you bring erwin into a heated kiss and begin to grope his cock. Erwin groans deeply and lifts behind your knees so now his manhood is pressing against yours. He begins to dry hump and you bury you head in his neck. You meet eyes with Levi and grin.

Just to overstep, "Erwin, I want it.." "Want what, doll?" Erwin acts oblivious. "Your dick, daddy." You say all this while look at Levi dead in the eyes. The man looks like he could cry. He disappears into the corner and Erwin brings you into the room of the door you were making out on.

You get pounded by Erwin for the next 30 minutes. You couldn't lie and say it wasn't a bit hard to take. You were sore but made your way back to the party. You saw Levi sitting alone at the "bar" and decided to "spill your drink" on him. You made it look realistic too, impressive.

"Shit sorry 'Vi." You say, definitely not just drunk on tequila. "It's fine." Levi avoids eye contact. "Here, lemme.." You say lowly as you attempt to rup the alcohol away with your bare hands. You look up at Levi and he has a certain look in his eyes.

"Maybe you can help me wash it out." Levi says, hinting at something. "Hic- of coursee.." You say, stumbling past people while holding Levi's hand. "Here's the hic- bathroom." You open the door with your back. As soon as you get inside, Levi slams the door shut and holds your waist from behind. His other hand around your neck. "Why're you fucking with me?" He ask in your ear.

"What do you mean, Vi'?" You say sarcastically. "I got something for you.." Levi roughly shoves you onto the bathroom counter. Pulling off your pants and boxers. You knew where this was going which is why you fueled the fire all night. Without warning, Levi shoves himself deep into your ass fully bottoming out. You were stretched out because of your exercise sesh with Erwin. So, it was easy.

That fact pissed Levi off even more. Having to relive seeing the man he liked with a close colleague. Levi took both your hands by the wrists and held them behind you with one hand. The other hand around your neck.

"Gnn..Vi'----" "Shut the fuck up." And with that, he began pounding and rutting his body violently against you. His dick and your ass making a loud slosh and fapping noise. You completely rested your body so you could feel the pounding in your stomach.

Levi gave you no room to move. Asserting dominance over you. You were so well, your ass began to drip on the floor. Groaning and moaning filling the room along with the aggressive shifting of Levi, practically tossing you around.

As Levi pulled his hips in and out with liquids connecting his pelvis and your ass, you came. You came so hard with a loud groan, cum all over the sink mixed with drool. Levi didn't' stop though.

He rammed you through your whole orgasm, not giving you a chance to scream, my coving your mouth. He found your prostate and rammed harder. He began to hear a voice beyond the door and heard Erwins. He slams your body against the door, purposly being louder.

Releasing his hand from your mouth. "--Gkh--!!Levi pleas..e!" You cries, choked up. Erwin stopped and pressed his ear against the door.

Levi rutted more then deep thrusted penetrating your g spot. You came again then began cumming after every thrust. You eyes rolling back, mouth agape, drooling, face flush and hot. Levi loved seeing you like this. All to him. He was being mean on purpose.

He didn't stop for 3 hours straight, only rammed hard, the door pounding along, hitting your cock, now in pain but pleasure, cum all over.

Yeah, it was a long night.

[askii-your-girly]

Kiss Under the Mistletoe

"A kiss? Can I get just a bit more,..."

Teddy Peirce X F! Smart Reader

Word Count: 1.1K

Warning(s): Making out, underage drinking (not teddy or reader), fluff, a tiny misunderstanding (readers end), Language/cursing, sexual? (They just really touch), People walking in on or interrupting a make out, bad grammar, writing, and spelling.

Reminder: Don't forget to be safe if you are parting make sure to bring a friend or two, and always put your drunk friend on their side so if they pass out, they don't choke. I don't approve of anyone underage drinking it's just for the fanfiction.

A party? You mentally slapped yourself in the face for letting your friend know about it, getting to be the one dragged to it. The Friday of said party was great, just before Christmas break, everyone finished with finals everyone was in an amazing mood. Dreading the party you make your way home, it's not like you don't like parties, just you didn't really like the thought of being surrounded by drunk people on a Friday night.

After getting dressed in a red dress to fit the Christmas theme of the party your friends and you make your way to the party. Only being a block away from your own home. Upon arrival you hang your coats up and walk into the living room where all the dancing and drinks were. You were questioning making a run for it, greeting you was a half-naked guy yelling to another one that new people were here or as he said, "Fresh meat." was here. Ignoring him you made your way to the probably spiked punch bowl, taking some and having a sip. Yeah. Tequilla filled your taste buds, and you spit the drink put and set the cup down.

You liked parties but seriously, shirtless guys that weren't like the movies and walking into people making out or worse, fucking? Those thoughts made you not go up the stairs, walking outside you sat down on a small bench. "Seems like you could use some company." A voice said, turning around you are met with a "gang" kid? Or Teddy Pierce. Brown hair, brown eyes, he was quite attractive. "I guess." Not wanting to sound rude for not saying anything. He sits down next to you. Sitting in silence the loud party music and people in the background.

Hearing a scoff or a laugh he tried stopping you looked over, asking what was funny. He pointed up. Mistletoe. "So? Do I get a kiss?" You laugh, "Did you come out here just for a kiss from me?" He looked at you a tiny smirk on his face, "So what if I did? Who wouldn't want a kiss from you? Top of her grade, honors student, chess champ, I mean honestly your any guy like mines dream." You froze. He knew who you were? Sure, he was right about all those things, but someone like him?

Stuttering out words, "I mean if you came all this way for a kiss." He smiled, personally you did see him and his friends talking and laughing before he followed you. Did he really need to know, you knew? I mean hell your first time getting a Christmas kiss, it counts even if it is a bet.

Leaning in, he gives you a kiss. The kiss tasted like peppermint, and hot chocolate. Expecting him to pull back, you move back a bit, he didn't like that. He moved over, still kissing you rougher. He pulled back, letting you both get some oxygen. You honestly thought he was going to run back over to his friends and get the $20 or something they would give him for winning the bet. Moving back once again, he speaks "Just A kiss? Can I get just a bit more, think of it as a Christmas gift?" Smiling as he spoke.

What the fuck? Confused you ask, "Is this a joke? Part of the bet or something?" More confused is all you could say to describe how he looked at you. "Bet, joke, what are you talking about you think I'm going to kiss someone who I haven't liked since freshman year?" Now what is going on, your confused and so is he. "Well, I didn't know..." Maybe that wasn't really going to help you, but could he really blame you? His friends were known for that. Huffing he sighs, "Yeah I know. Now you do I guess." Silents follows before he smirks, when you can look at him again. "So, about another kiss?"

You laugh, "I guess you can have another one, but what would my Christmas gift be?" The smirk on his face increased to what you can only describe as devilish, he grabbed your hand and walked you threw the party and into a room. "Did you think you're getting lucky? Cause that's not going to happen, sweetheart." He smiles at you.

"Never, that's for our one-year anniversary." Maybe he was a better guy than you thought, "Oh? When would that be?" Opening the door and leading you into the room, "Today, next year. If you let me be your boyfriend." Let him? Damn he was messing with your heart. "And why wouldn't I let you?" He led to near the bed, laughing, "Well I'm not the best example." Sitting on the bed and patting a spot for you, you sat next to him. "I don't think so, so yeah I will let you be my boyfriend. But after this party I'm going to need a date. To truly tell." Smiling you look over at him, he is also smiling.

Leaning over you kiss him. He kissed you back in an instant, his hands moving to your waist, pulling you to him. You pull back from the kiss, that's when he pulled you onto his lap, straddling him. Pulling you in for another kiss. This time he bites on you bottom lip quite hard, making you gasp, giving enough room for his tongue to slip in. His tongue easily becomes more dominate, pulling you against him. You felt like hours went by of you two just kissing, his hands moving from your waists to your thighs or ass. Anything he could get his hands on without breaking a kiss or pulling back.

You heard people walking coming and going around you, thinking no one was entering the room you both took up. Soon you hear your name being called, a door open, and a gasp and giggle. You turn around the friends you came with were standing in the door frame, watching as Teddy nipped and kissed on your neck. One of them spoke, "We have to leave, she is drunk as hell and your mom called me." You quickly climb off him, apologizing before running out the door.

He just smirked. He may be on the naughty list, but he would be on it forever if it meant every Christmas that was his present. Hurrying out of the party himself needing to determine where he was going to take you for your first date. As he walked in threw door his siter Kate sat there looking at him, their father's old video camera in hand. "A thief Teddy...wait till I tell mom about this!" Everything fell apart. Or did it?

I apologize for taking so long, Christmas was chaotic, and I had no motivation. I will try to post more since, there is like no fics or oneshots for him. I'm running out of ideas though. I will try and post as much as possible though. And thank you guys for 10 likes! If you want to be tagged every time, I post one don't be shy to comment and ask.

[crimsonblackrose]

.

Quick thoughts. Chozen and Daniel scheming to fake befriend Terry is something Terry did in TKK3 to Daniel. Not on the same level at all but, there was a slight amount of revenge/karma there.

It's what 18-19 hours between LA and where Miguel went. That means Johnny's got both Robby and Miguel in the car back for 18-19 hours. And they didn't dare even give us a glimpse of that?

Chozen scammed Anoush and Louie at golf. Some how before I never caught that. Which means Chozen got some revenge for TKK2 and losing all his money to Daniel. (Chozen's walking ahead of them, grinning and counting cash, Daniel laughs and tells him good job, Louie tells Anoush he told him there were golf courses in Okinawa, Anoush says "He said he never played before")

Chozen said it was beginners luck, Louie says he's been hustled, Anoush calms him down when Chozen asks if they've insulted his honor, by telling Louie he's not at a blackjack table in Atlanta city, you can't trash talk a karate assassin.

So....Chozen's not an assassin. But that's what Amanda called him and now that's what Anoush has called him.

Terry's at the golf club. "How'd you hit 'em?" "They let anyone join these days." (I mean Terry's older and richer, he might've already been a member and you might never have known. "Or did you slither in through the garbage chute. By the way how's your sensei search going?"

Daniel why are you poking the bear? Why are you rubbing this in Terry's face?

Terry views it as possible casus belli, act of war or to provoke war.

Terry tells Daniel that he has more friends then Daniel does...which sadly, probably true.

Terry says if Daniel backs down, Terry won't retaliate. No repercussions, just stay out of his way.

This is my backyard, Daniel....in a way we don't know, but Terry might've been here longer. You've been here what 30 years? Terry's supposed to be older than you and as far as we know, has lived here his whole life. Like in TKK1 you didn't even want to be here. That doesn't mean it's not your backyard and you don't have a say in what happens there, but making it seem like Terry doesn't belong in his own city either...

This was a choice

Who does this? Sabrina the teenage witch? But like 90s version. The wave your finger in a circle to do a spell.

I can't tell whether he's having fun or if he's laughing and pissed off.

I also like that Daniel isn't alone for this conversation/threat. Chozen's right there. "You're playing with fire Danny-boy."

Boom

I don't fully get what that means. I love it. But a fire with gasoline that explodes might not hurt just Silver, but also both Chozen and Daniel and the whole valley...

Which might be why Silver, no longer charmed by Sensei Joe, scoffs and asks for their drinks to be put on his tab.

lol anoush

Nothing. Just wanted to buy us a round of drinks.

DANIEL LARUSSO!!!! You literally just poked a bear and you're not going to warn them????? Tell them! Warn them that if that guy comes near them to run. Like Daniel you know how dangerous he is and you're like nice dude buying us drinks. You gotta update people on this stuff for their own safety.

Somewhere there's a universe where Louie and Anoush thank Terry Silver for buying them drinks and try to befriend him because wow what a nice guy and it goes VERY BADLY

Like literally Anoush is like heck yeah pina colada time for all my men here.

Anoush: Act like you've been here before, I want the most expensive tequilla you gota

Which is both wild responses to random stranger is buying them a drink.

I do enjoy Anoush and Louie's old married couple bickering. "Pina Coladas, we're not at a Sandals resort." "What's wrong with Sandals? Everything's included"

Johnny learning he did something illegal...4/5 seasons later. 🤣

He cleaned off his van.

Miggy made breakfast, Johnny's there too.

It looks like maybe Miguel can't cook. Burnt toast and yaya's kinda picking at it.

Are you telling me for 18 hours Robby and Miguel didn't say a word? The most awkward 18 hours on the planet?

Yaya is happy Miguel is home but needs him to leave asap and go bother sam so she can throw out the breakfast he made her without offending him. The Diaz's have Simply brand Orange Juice.

"I think I need to make an apology meal for Sam too"

Followed immediately by Carmen having taken a bite and unable to hide how bad it is.

Although I think this was also supposed to be the first hint that Carmen was pregnant.

Sam is eating uncrustables and drinking Starbucks.

Apparently both Sam and Anthony view the grape uncrustables as comfort food. Sam ate the last two

ANTHONY EXPLAINS THE MILK LOCKER. They put milk in a bag in Kennys locker.

I feel like that leaves more questions than answers. How did they do that without making a big mess just setting it up and without anyone seeing/finding out?

Now that Anthony puts it that way...he is right.

Both Miguel and Robby have now run away. Just Robby was wanted by the police.

Without karate Sam's hanging out with Moon and Yasmine again.

Okay so there's a couch in the guest bedroom and it's not good. Chozen's having a rough time sleeping on it. Daniel says there used to be a bed in there but it got destroyed when Cobra Kai broke in, but I didn't see any kids go into any bedrooms. They stayed in the weird like square with a line through it. Halls between the living room to the kitchen and the dojo. The dojo is not the guest bedroom.

Chozen is the one who recommends they beat silver to the punch by calling on one of his old friends before Silver can call upon them. Aka Mike Barnes.

What's weird is generally the flash backs might be things the person having the flashback would know or remember. I mean there's a scene of Ali smiling that Johnny remembers but couldn't have. Or at least it wasn't directed at him. But this one's weird because it's literally Mike Barnes telling Silver whose in a bathtub that he bought himself a champion. Daniel was not in Silver's house then.

Johnny offers to teach Miguel how to cook.

Carmen telling Johnny she might be pregnant, a reminder that condoms aren't 100%. And not all forms of protection are 100% either.

Johnny rushes to help Carmen up as if he's already thinking she's much further along then she is. She said she's a few days late.

Johnny's so surprised he says he'll pull the van around then he drops his keys and spins in a circle and Carmen gently pats his shoulder and says with a near laugh "Maybe I should drive. "

Aurora changes Hawks reaper tattoo. Rico is out. It's a lotus for a new beginning and a flower was pretty much his only choice to cover the reaper. Demetri went with him and once again held his shirt. (Miguel also came but is mostly frustrated from trying to contact Sam from the waiting section) Everyone's back with their OG friend groups this summer.

Like I get Demetri is trying to warn him, but Demetri you giving relationship advice is wild. You've had one girlfriend and it's Yasmine and you're still dating. You don't know what's code for breaking up.

Hawk balancing it with "Moon is really big into communication, maybe Sam just really actually wants to talk"

Essentially Yasmine is texting Demetri. 🤣

I feel like Miguel and Sam should just communicate as Miguel and Sam not having Hawk and Demetri and Yasmine and Moon advising.

Daniel and Chozen stalking Barnes.

The way Daniel realizes the way he talks to Chozen has to be more careful because what he says about Barnes applies to Chozen too.

Daniel your car literally says LaRusso Auto Group, please never use that car to try to sneakily tail someone. It's like Johnny trying to tail using the cobra charger or the eagle fang van. Neither of you are sneaky.

What is that a handsaw? (Johnny would probably know) Good for cutting pipe.

Chozen. I can't.

That one good for cutting bone.

Why on earth didn't Daniel research Mike Barnes? Like surely a quick search would've show he was a furniture king. Or hell even pulling up a map app would've shown him that he's behind a furniture store and everything they've got, the tools, the men, are all there working as staff for the furniture store.

This is one of those moments where I think the trauma is making him not think straight. He frequently jumps to conclusions and people like Amanda sort of reign him in. Johnny sometimes corrects him but Daniel doesn't listen to him. Chozen I think just is gasoline to the fire and makes it worse. Part of it I think is that Chozen's know Daniel as an adult for maybe less than a week, and he heard this guy who did all this stuff one summer needs his help, perfect, a great way to regain some honor and make his uncle and the Miyagi's proud. But he doesn't know that if he himself jumps to the worst possible conclusion: that's good for cutting bone, Daniel is not going to be like or it's a table saw and they're cutting wood. No Daniel's going to follow whatever logic Chozen's running on half the time and be like oh no, our Okinawan assassin says that's good for cutting bone, this is a nest of evil and murderers.

And it's not.

Like you kinda have to shock Daniel out of it.

and with what a trickster Chozen is half the time I don't even know if he's being serious about the cut through bone, I think he's joking, but I don't think Daniel can tell when he's joking, like I don't think he could always tell when Mr. Miyagi was joking unless it was more obvious or he was laughing. But Chozen doesn't do that.

So it either comes off as two dumbasses with no brain cell between them because they left it at home, or Chozen making lots of jokes and Daniel not always catching on, or thinking Chozen is serious (Here to murder Silver, I don't think he actually truly is, at least not right now)

But I also feel like part of it is that I doubt Daniel fully prepped Chozen on the situation. And Chozen is just like operating on high alert that everything is a danger.

Like half of Chozen's words and his delivery is such...Dad trickster/jokester vibes. Which I feel like just fits with his whole thing. His very serious face until he bursts out laughing delighted by his jokes. He did that after a whole day of messing with Daniel in Okinawa, he did it with Anoush and Louie.

But I don't think Daniel gets that, so he takes everything at face value. So I think the "I can take all of them, that's good for cutting bone." was Chozen making jokes not realizing that it just sort of upped Daniel's nervousness and guard. Like yes Chozen is here and ready to protect and fight but he never got the Daniel-san manual from Mr. Miyagi which is why I think this is a very earnest thing:

Because yes Daniel can't go in alone in the off-chance that it's a true fight, and he also can't go in alone if he's hoped up and upset. He needs back up, especially if there's any danger. (I know Chozen comes flying in there ready to fight)

So I googled these and got nothing for either the company or the brand type except the cursed knowledge that Tiger King/Joe Exotic came out with his own brand of condoms. So I think they made this up for the show.

And also like Carmen said, condoms aren't 100%

"There's no way these were purchased a real pharmacy" Makes me wonder where Johnny buys stuff.

I do actually like that for both of them this is new, that their previous kids were surprises that neither were fully prepared for. Like they're starting this journey together.

Though Johnny is so nervous he feels like he's going to be sick.

And I get that Carmen is upset that Johnny's so nervous especially around another baby and that Johnny needs to figure out how not to be that guy again. Which is fair, but being a Dad again when he just is finally has both Miguel and Robby talking to him. When his other father duties are starting to work out and not being this soul crushing failure I think seeing another guy too frazzled and realizing how much of a new responsibility that is freaked him out.

Tie dye robes are cute at he spa Moon takes them to.

I am happy that they've all grown as people and become friends again. i just do wish that like Yasmine apologized for being mean to Aisha and also for believing what Kyler said about Sam and joining in on that abuse.

Sam: I already have nightmares about drowning in shallow bodies of water. (I.e. her nightmare of Tory holding her head down under the surface of the Mr. Miyagi koi pond, which wild because I don't think Tory's ever been there???? And also you'd think that'd make her too scared to go near it again)

Demetri got Yasmine a charm bracelet and a charm for every fight they have. And he seems proud when he says she can barely lift her arm now. Dude how much money are you spending?

I think Demetri and Eli forget that while they're nerds, they're rich nerds. Miguel is not and all his money was stolen.

I love the delivery of 'that's a new one' from the sales girl.

The necklace Miguel thinks of getting Sam. Reduced to $182.

I love that eli is like if there's less tentacles it'll be cheaper. 🤣

Daniel I think to an extent that's trespassing if not 'breaking and entering' without the breaking. But great hustle!

Daniel, just because everything he's saying sounds like it's related to you and your entire life does not mean it has anything to do with you.

Barnes out here just living his life until Daniel literally comes rushing in to derail it.

Also...Daniel omg. You and Demetri man.

He also steals his phone to yell at 'silver'

Daniel can never just lose the boy who cried wolf rap, it's based on true lived experience but he keeps leaping without looking.

Poor Michelle, she's like what happened to my furniture guy?

Mike Barnes/Michael Barnes having been karate's bad boy and banned for life from karate can't shake the sounds like a villain in every day life but clearly his customers are here for it.

This is Phil.

Barnes out here like, it's fine, this guy I tortured and terrorized for money just popped up and ruined a sale but I'll live.

Japanese cedar chairs will be done by the time the school opens and they'll pick up the florentine table. Daniel made him lose part of his commission. It's down to 40%

This is why if you had googled the place or even tried to go in the front door you'd have seen that it was a furniture store. But we leapt before we looked.

Johnny following youtube mom vloggers to prep for the baby. I know it's supposed to be funny or whatever that he's swaddling beer. But I also think it's nice that he's actually trying to catch up on all this stuff that he doesn't know. I mean he found out that there's a baby possibly on the way, not even confirmed, this morning. And he's like well I'm so nervous I feel sick, the best way to handle that is to tackle it head on so let me practice. I don't have a baby, but I have beers and towels, and beers are breakable so...

Like he truly does always try and teach himself things if it's important.

We have orange sodas now, some hostess cupcakes, red bull, peanut butter, some chips.

And of course one of his coors escapes and breaks which I think does not help his feeling of I'm going to screw this up, again.

I mean he essentially heard Carmen and was like I'm going to study.

Healthy organic diet= Johnny cleans his fridge.

The space needs to be baby friendly = no poster of girls, Johnny swaps it out for a light house.

Look in every nook and cranny for mold pests and other hazards. Cue cockroach.

Also want to point out that Carmen and him haven't even talked about living together (probably not enough space) But he's still prepping his space.

Johnny you dumbass, you shouldn't have consumed that beer, even if you were holding your breath or whatever safety reason you thought, it was still sitting out when you sprayed. And then he just lays on top of the carpet he just sprayed.

He really should know better from having worked as a maintenance man. But I think he just doesn't give a shit when it's his own safety beyond the bare minimum. That or we can blame netflix for this one.

Mikes soon to be gone furniture store.

"If there's one guy in this world who doesn't owe me an apology it's you."

I mean I feel like that is one of the thesis's of the show.

Furniture co-king (the co-king is his wife, and it's his father in-law's place)

Daniel: You're LaRusso 2.0

Moon and Yasmine are in the Laker's Halloween costumes: You're one of the girls

Robby in his Cobra Kai tournament gi: You're the girl who broke my heart.

Eli in his white gi holding his trophy: You're the girl who lost.

Miguel in his Eagle fang gi: You're my girlfriend, Sam. Why can't you just be supportive.

(Both Eli and Miguel look at her really sadly)

Tory: I know exactly who you are princess.

Sam and Miguel are really on the same journey. They're both trying to figure out who they are which for teenagers about to go off to college in a year or two, is very fitting. They just also have all this karate soap opera making figuring it out harder. And Miguel pointed out last season how hard that all is with everything the LaRusso's expect from Sam. Places he might not be able to go due to finances.

Dark Sam, voiced/introduced by Tory:

Sam has spent most of her life probably hearing about what a great man Mr. Miyagi is, how their karate that they learned from him is better. How they're the good guys. Which putting her in that situation of the world is black and white meant she couldn't allow for gray, she wasn't allowed to be a teenager who made mistakes, which is probably why she didn't tell her parents whenever she wanted to throw a party or got into trouble because good guys don't get in trouble. She's not allowed to make mistakes and I think that is just too much pressure in just general life. Add karate and fighting to the mix and it just explodes.

Now she's questioning whether she is good or not, which is unfair to her. Because people are people, they make mistakes they're not all good or all evil. Life isn't like that and to hold herself to that impossible standard as well as all the other teenagers and people in her life means they're either evil or they've been put on a pedestal where if they make a mistake they will fall and shatter.

I feel like for dark Sam they did her make up like Tory's which is a fun little choice. They also gave her sai's, while the light version has a bo staff.

Essentially she's gotta find balance but the dark side kicks her ass and disarms her and terrifies the white version when Moon opens the tank.

Sam: Having a terrifying metaphorical fight with herself trying to figure out who she is while balancing all these identities of how other people see her and trying to discern who she is and how to balance this feeling of good and evil within herself when she's not been allowed gray.

Moon: I was a drop of dew glistening in the moonlight.

Daniel I don't think Mike Barnes counts as Cobra Kai. I guess well, you might think you yourself were cobra kai, so that means Barnes is also cobra kai. But like the actual students of Cobra Kai, the ones that were in it longer than a few weeks/months don't want to fight you most of the time. Bobby, Jimmy, I highly doubt want to fight you. Johnny really just wants to do a fight for fun. Like sparring.

And I mean heck, Barnes is in the same boat as Johnny. Essentially all these dudes want to fight you for fun and the only one who got to (and who wasn't Cobra Kai) was Chozen because he pretended to take it very seriously and had information you wanted.

Ah, thee fact Barnes pretends to fight is what got Chozen. I was trying to remember why Chozen comes flying in to fight Mike Barnes, but then he mistook the play fighting for real fighting and came in to defend. As promised.

This is why you don't leave Chozen in the car by himself. He got worried.

Chozen stomped on I think that was Barne's knee, ow.

Mike Barnes punches Daniel in a face and he lands into a chair.

No one ever successfully really stops a fight in this show and everyone who does usually get's hit/hurt. I think the best result was prom night where they all ended up in the pool and Stingray turned it into a pool party.

Great question:

But also you shouldn't leave Chozen in the car for long in this heat. Not cool Daniel, you didn't even crack a window. He might be from Okinawa and you might not actually film in LA but, still summer in LA Chozen would be miserable in that car.

Johnny for 4 seasons, as well as pretty much everyone for 4 seasons:

"If this is misunderstanding you better call ambulance." and the way Barnes looks at his guys all knocked out and bloodied on the back dock and then at Chozen who meets his gaze, and then like goes whoops, sorry and looks away, all my bad. Kudos to Yuji on those expressions that was great.

Welcome to the karate soap opera Barnes. Please make sure to include karate on all your insurance policies.

I don't know what Johnny is making, but it's kinda nice he's got his door open, so Miguel can just come in. Though he probably shouldn't because it's probably open due to the insecticide. Johnny doesn't care about himself being in that but he does care about Miggy.

Miggy's look around, sniff and then looking at Johnny horrified with a "What is that smell" 😂

Paint thinner or pesticide? Johnny you should not be in there.

Johnny thinks about telling Miguel he might have a baby sibling before realizing he doesn't actually know for sure and that he and Carmen should talk before saying it so immediately changes to "Don't worry about it, just making a few changes" Which seems to be building a lot of new random sharp edged furniture. Dude what are you even doing?

Johnny went grocery shopping and just filled his fridge full of milk. Pretty sure that's supposed to be a joke that he's bought milk to live in his fridge for 9 months. But I don't know how he could've been alive this long and not known that babies don't drink cow milk. But who knows. Maybe he got it for when the kids are over. Or even for himself.

Johnny got a new chair. It's now white and leather/faux leather looking. It used to be yellow and cloth. He also got a new couch. Black leather. I think well they couldn't have been kept quite the same after the pesticide.

There is something funny about Daniel and Chozen getting into a fight at a furniture store and Johnny also being at a furniture on the same day, not getting in a fight and just getting new furniture/running errands.

Johnny....what does this even mean???? Omg.

Johnny giving actual good advice here. "I've been there, how about the truth, we all get shit wrong sometimes. Some of us get it wrong a lot. If you own up to your mistakes you always have a shot at making things right. You don't have to have it all figured out. Just be honest with her. See where it goes from there"

Miguel here agreeing with me that that's some actual really good advice.

Johnny seems surprised and agrees.

Well they got Daniel an ice pack for his face. They all have ice packs.

Barnes tells Daniel about the shady attorney Silver had off the books. Barnes made them put TKK3 in writing, he was promised 50% of Cobra Kai.

Chozen relaxing into the tufted blue suede couch. Barnes goes into sales mode.

Chozen: How much?

Barnes: 1,200, but for you? 2,000

Those poor guys having to move Chozen's new couch. (Lol at realizing Johnny and Chozen bought couches on the same day, Chozen what are you going to do? Take it back to Okinawa with you later?) "Careful, don't get blood on couch" while both pillows are tucked under his arms.

Daniel leaving a voice mail to the attorney, just seems so unsafe after Terry's threat that morning.

Sam and Miguel meet to talk at Miyagi-do.

They've left the whole romeo and juliet/ west side story for like teen movie drama about breaking up before going to college and because you're trying to find yourself and it's hard to meet each others needs at the same time.

Miguel apologizes for leaving like that and everything back through to prom where he wasn't thinking of her or them as a couple.

Sam says she respects him taking the time to find himself and go on that journey and apologizes for being so wrapped up in the tournament.

Miggy's little happy smile until she says but.

I mean this is a fair ask, and I think this is very mature of her to be like hey, I need time to figure out who I am too.

Like this whole conversation is maybe heartbreaking but is very emotionally mature of both of them. They're talking, they're listening.

Sam says she needs a break and in tears that 'she's not okay right now'

Miguel holding it together because Sam already is struggling enough as is, crying as he walks away and dropping the $182 necklace onto the ground. The one that probably cost everything he had.

Oh wow, Johnny truly swapped out all his furniture. Even the eagle painting is now a sunset and he bought a plant. Dude did some interior decorating and it's...modern looking.

Does he have more than one tool box, or did he lose his beaten up old metal red one?

He has 2 plants!

Lol, he said he baby-proofed the whole apartment today too, and try to stick your finger in a socket? Lost cause.

Aww he adjusted his headphones to fit around her stomach of his old Walkman, however it's so big that it pretty much goes 100% all the way around her to her back because she's maybe like I dunno a week pregnant?

Baby playlisit: Sabbath, Metallica, Dokken

Carmen votes Metallica

See, he really just had to get used to the idea here. His freak out was like 1 hour after learning about the possibility. He needed to do something physical, actionable, and think all day and he did.

Also the amount he got done in a single day after breakfast is impressive.

Encino Oaks Country club, new morning. Daniel likes to spend his mornings in there "Nothing like a good steam to start the day off right" His little yawn and stretch and Morning to whoever came in is kinda sweet.

Also Daniel fully wearing a robe in a steam room just seems like a fainting hazard.

I do like Silver coming in through the darkness and the smoke. Very villain move.

He's also more dressed for a steam room...aka not dressed.

This is such a choice. It's literally Terry Silver sneaking up on Daniel somewhere he feels safe and confronting him somewhere where he's alone and no one else is around, essentially saying this was a bad move, I found out, I know how you found out about this person and then threatening Daniel.

Is the golf club the same as the country club, because if so that should've been a note that Silver had joined his country club. But they didn't show the name of the place beforehand. Like they usually do when they show Encino Oaks

"I told you not to play with fire" and then to make a point literally burns down Barnes's furniture store. That's truly hitting the nail on the head there. And Barnes's has been aware of everything for like five seconds, gave one tiny bit off information out and then lost his whole business. Good thing Chozen got his couch when he did.

[stayevildarling]

heyy! could you maybe do a love at first sight with mildred ratched, the setting could be anywhere. thank you!!

Mildred Ratched x Reader- First sight

word count: 7.3k

warnings: smoking, alcohol, fluff

A/N: this is my first time writing Mildred 👉🏻👈🏻

''Finally'' you think to yourself after you just arrived at your hotel a few minutes ago and after signing some documents and receiving your key card, you dropped everything in your room and headed straight for the outside area. As you arrived about half an hour ago, the bus from the airport taking an eternity, you saw the beach area with a bar and also what seems to be a terrace with some lounge chairs overlooking the beautiful ocean in the distance.

Walking out the big doors of the hotel and towards the terrace, hoping to get a good look at the ocean and having a few drinks because after all, you did book an all-inclusive holiday at this resort. As soon as you walk towards the only remaining chair by the bar, you feel the cool breeze from the ocean but also the heat of the afternoon sun. As you close your eyes for a moment, you hear the music playing quietly from the speakers of the hotel but also the waves crashing in the distance sending a shiver down your spine because you had been looking forward to this holiday for a while now, desperatly needing it as life seemed to exhaust you in a way it has never before and you were definitiely due for a break.

''Good afternoon Miss, would you like for me to take you to a seat and bring you some refreshments?'' a man approaches you, dressed in a hotel uniform and a polite smile plastered on his face.

''Um yes sure, I was actually just going to sit over there'' you say and point at the empty chair but he looks down before looking back up at you and explaining  ''I am terribly sorry Miss but that chair is reserved for someone already, how about I show you to one over here?'' he asks and points towards a row of empty chairs by the pool. Slightly confused and irritated by the fact someone would book a chair, you simply ignore it and smile politely at the staff member.

''Sure'' you say with a smile and follow him to one of the loungers and it seems more convenient because you can actually lie down this way and the fact you aren't far from the pool and bar seems even better.

''So what drink might I offer you miss?'' he asks politely and after thinking about it for a moment and glancing over at the bar and some drinks on a board you say ''Tequilla Sunrise please''.  He smiles politely and nods ''Of course Miss'' before leaving.

Absent-mindedly you scan your surroundings and you see the beautiful afternoon sun slowly starting to set in the distance and as your eyes scan the waiter coming over with your drink a few moments later, you see something out of the corner of your eyes. For a second you take your eyes away from the thing that caught your eye but something in your mind tells you to look again. You see a woman now sitting in the chair that you initially planned on sitting and despite her back being turned to you and that you are unable to see her face, you are even more curious as to why she wanted that seat specifically as she seems to be here alone and without company. As you scan her features you see her long red hair in a ponytail and that she is wearing a short sleeved shirt with flower prints on it.

Before you get to scan her any further, the waiter hands you your drink with a polite smile and the words ''Here you go miss'' and you smile before retrieving it and mumbling the words ''Thank you'' but barely able to keep your eyes off the mysterious stranger sitting a few chairs away from you. Shaking your head you remind yourself you didn't come here to observe strangers and waste your thoughts about why they booked a chair or not and so you simply lay back, sip on your drink and close your eyes, taking in the sun hoping you would get a little tan and also the peace and quiet.

Your mind can't help but wander to the reason that initially brought you here after your old job exhausted you so much and you couldn't handle it any longer. People often told you that you should take some time off and relax but you weren't just exhausted from working so much you were exhausted from life. Never did you want that life of working a job that paid the bills but that would make you dread the thought of going in every single day. Every sunday you would sit in your apartment and worry about going in the next day and just daydreaming about a different kind of life, travelling to all the destinations that you had seen in the newspaper before and just escape the nine to five life and capitalism. Growing up you had always been a little different, always having different dreams than your family, never wanting to get a job like that or maybe not even get a job and simply relying on a man, like your sisters. You never wanted a man in the first place, you wanted a pure and a true kind of love with a beautiful woman and travelling to all the beautiful destinations of the world before settling down somewhere with the girl of your dreams.

Momentarily your attention adverts back to the chair only to see it is now quite some time later and most people are gone and so is the woman in the chair. Huffing, you finish your drink and bring the empty glass to the bartender ''Another one Miss?'' he asks but you shake your head with a polite smile before tipping him and saying ''No I am good thank you'' and with those words you walk into the building again, passing by the hotel lobby and getting into the elevator.

Just before the door closes you hear an unfamiliar voice say ''Just my usual chair for tomorrow please'' and the staff member replying ''Of course Miss Ratched''. As the elevator goes up a few floors your eyebrows furrow for a second because despite never being in this place and not knowing anyone here, the voice sounded familiar but you don't know the woman at least not yet. ''At least I know her name now Ratched'' you think to yourself as you walk into your hotel room and drop on your bed because even though mostly doing travelling today and arriving here, you are tired and sleep quickly washes over you.

The next morning you are woken up by the sound of suitcases from people either arriving or leaving the hotel resort but it doesn't bother you in any way, being woken up by them as you wake up to the sun just rising and the soft sound of the ocean in the distance. As you look at the time you realize that it's now just turning eight am which means they are serving breakfast now. After stretching and closing your eyes just for a moment longer, you walk over to the little balcony attached to your room and step outside. Taking in the sounds of the ocean and the smell of both coffee and the delicious breakfast that is being served downstairs. For a moment you debate whether you might be allowed to have breakfast outside because the weather is so lovely, not too hot but sunny.

As you overlook the pool area you see that not a lot of people are outside yet but something catches your attention. You see the little bar area and loungechairs and that a few of them are already occupied by some families or couples. However, you also see the same woman in the same chair from yesterday and suddenly you remember her voice and name ''Ratched'' you think to yourself. She is sitting in the same position, overlooking the ocean and you see one of the waiters taking some juice and a platter with breakfast over to where she is sitting. For some reason you can't help but scan her features and you notice that she is wearing a long loose skirt and a green blouse with a belt. Her red hair is styled the same as yesterday and she is wearing a brown hat. Still you haven't actually seen her face but something about this woman interests you

''Must be the way she dresses'' you think to yourself because you don't often come across woman that put effort into their appearance and everyone from your old home town dressing and looking the exact same. Finally taking your eyes off the woman, you decide to get changed and take a shower as you didn't make it anymore yesterday after being so tired. It takes you less than an hour to get ready with showering, drying your hair and curling it slightly, putting on a jumpsuit that you had purchased for this holiday and some sandals. You grab your purse with your key card and a few other essentials and make your way towards the elevators and down to the hotel lobby.

As the elevator door opens you are greeted by a staff member ''Good morning Miss'' he says and smiles politely and you return the smile and mumble ''Good morning'' and he asks you ''Would you like me to serve you breakfast outside? or show you to our dining hall?'' and after debating about it a moment, the mysterious stranger sitting in that chair outside you quickly make the decision to have it outside.

''Outside sounds lovely'' you reply and he nods and takes you outside to the same lounge chair you sat in yesterday. ''Here is our menu Miss'' he says and hands you a card. After studying it for a moment you decide on a fruit platter and some juice to start your day healthy and light. It takes them moments to prepare it and bring it over to where you are sitting. ''There you go Miss'' he tells you and puts the food on the little table next to you. As soon as the taste of the fresh fruit hits your senses you close your eyes and hold in a little moan because this is everything that you have wanted when you decided on going on a holiday in the first place.

After finishing your food you make up your mind to relax a little and read the book that you had brought here and actually planned on doing something else but relaxing. Opening the book you drown in the pages and words and the world inside the book, the characters and places as if you are a character in the book. What you missed is that in the exact moment you opened your book and pulled it closer to your face, the mysterious stranger with red hair got up and walked right past you, on her way to her room to change into a swimming suit as she planned on going swimming. Because you are occupied with your book you don't notice any of these things or the fact you have yet to see her face and the universe seems to always interfear as soon as the opportunity of seeing each other is close.

Only after about a hundred pages you decide it's time for a break and time for a swim as it is really hot outside now and no one seems to be in the pool anymore, everyone now on their way to lunch or an activity outside the hotel. Thankfully you already planned ahead and put your swimming costume on underneath your jumpsuit so with one swift motion you take the piece of clothing off and put it neatly on your chair. After taking your sunglasses off and applying some sunscreen you walk over to the pool and you scan your surroundings. No one is here anymore not even your mysterious stranger and you wonder what she is up to before shaking the thought away and enjoying the cold water on your skin and swimming a few rounds.

For the remainder of the day you relax and take turns with reading your book, swimming occasionally and tanning plus enjoying a few cocktails that the nice bartender refills whenever you finish one. As the evening approaches, you decide to go back to your room to take another shower and get dressed, wanting to actually enjoy the buffet tonight and eat inside. After getting ready and checking your outfit in the mirror one more time, you feel slightly anxious as most people in this resort aren't here alone and either with their partners and family and you fear sitting on yourself slightly. However, you quickly shake the thought away and admire the dress you had bought for this holiday and you make your way into the large dining room, filled with tables of food and a kitchen where chefs prepare fresh dishes.

''Hello Miss'' a waitress pulls you out of your thoughts ''Room number please'' she asks and you reply ''301'' before she takes you to a table, overlooking the ocean. ''Can I offer you one of our fine wines this evening?'' she asks and despite you not really being a wine kind of girl you accept anyway. After wandering around the large buffet for a while you decide on a variety of salads and some pasta that the chefs prepared freshly for you with your chosen ingredients.

''Room number please'' you hear the same waitress say as you walk back to your table, where you find some wine and water. ''302 Ratched'' you hear the same familiar voice and name and instantly your head snaps the other way because you are desperate at this point to take a look at the mysterious woman's features. But as you turn around the waitress is already leading her to another table further away on the other end of the dining hall and you frown slightly. ''302'' the number keeps replaying in your mind and you can't believe that you and the redhead are neighbors after all and all the coincidenes so far.

After dinner you walk through the hotel lobby and you debate for a moment whether to go back to your room or whether to stay outside a little bit maybe taking a walk down to the ocean. In the end you decide to go to the bar by the pool considering it's already late and you wouldn't want to get lost on the way to the ocean.

You are greeted by the same bartender and a polite smile ''Hello Miss, what can I get you?'' he asks and after thinking about it for a moment you decide to order one of your usuals ''A magharita please'' you say with a polite smile and look down at your lap while he turns around and prepares your drink.

''Sounds lovely, make that another one please?'' you suddenly hear a familiar voice again, the same voice belonging to the mysterious redhead and apparently your neighboor in this hotel. Slowly your head turns in her direction, to your right where she is standing before taking a seat. She is wearing the same outfit from earlier this day but a different shirt and no hat. For the first time in these two days you had been here, you see her face and it's even more beautiful than you imagined. The first thing you see is her bone structures and how there isn't a single flaw in her features. She has dark eyebrows and beautiful red lips and the fancy looking earrings take your eyes off her face for a second. Quickly your eyes wander to her face again only to lock with her brown eyes and for a moment you fear you would never be able to take your eyes off her luminous and penetratring orbs.

''Mildred Ratched'' she introduces herself with a polite smile before the waiter interrupts your moment and places two drinks in front of you two. ''Y/N Y/L/N'' you quickly introduce yourself and thank the waiter with a polite smile before he walks off to the other end of the bar, where some people are sitting. ''Cheers'' the woman whos name you just learnt is Mildred says and raises her glass ''Cheers'' you mumble and yet again your eyes lock and in this moment everything starts spinning and you feel as if your heart might just beat out of your chest.

You feel something in your heart that you have never before, this sense of home and belonging and that the woman sitting next to you and focussing her attention on the drink again, is meant to be someone more as a distant stranger that you would meet at a hotel resort and part ways again. As you locked eyes with her for the first time it felt like your heart whispered ''That's the one'' and even though your brain is reminding you that things like love at first sight don't exist, the feeling in your stomach and chest proves otherwise.

''So when did you arrive here?'' you ask curiously, trying to make some conversation because you would hate for her to just get up and leave again and for her to walk out of your life again. ''The day before yesterday, you?'' she asks and you set your drink down before replying ''Just yesterday'' and the redhead simply nods.

''Are you here alone?'' the woman asks and you feel a little bit of relief that she is now the one asking the questions and keeping the conversation going. ''Yes I was due for a relaxing holiday'' you say and huff slightly ''Job or family?'' she asks and you furrow your eyebrows for a moment not understanding the question ''I mean it seems like you are running from something, I can tell'' she elaborates and for a moment you debate whether she is a therapist or something because how on earth is she able to read you this well already? ''Um my job I guess, I actually quit my job and I don't have any family'' you blurt out without thinking further and you look at Mildred for a moment, scared that you had just scared her away with that confession.

She simply nods and adverts her gaze because you are unaware that her story is somewhat the same. ''Are you here with any family?'' you ask after a moment of silence and the redhead simply shakes her head before explaining ''Here on my own, I'm more of a lone wolf just exploring the world day by day'' she explains and yet again your heart gives you an unfamiliar feeling.

For the remainder of the night you and the now not so mysterious woman talk about small things, you learn that she used to work as a nurse but is now just travelling the world and you tell her a bit more about your past. The two of you stay by the bar until about two am before the waiter comes over ''Let me guess you are going to kick us out?'' Mildred jokes and you chuckle, feeling slightly tipsy.

He smiles politely and nods ''We are closing soon Miss, also we are having a theme evening here tomorrow night, mexican with some food, dances and drinks, would you like me to book either of you a table?'' and Mildred looks at you for a moment before replying ''Sure that sounds lovely'' and he turns his attention on you ''Yes please'' and with that you tip the waiter and you and Mildred walk back into the hotel.

''What floor are you on?'' she asks as you two get into the elevator and you reply ''We are neighbors'' with a grin. ''Oh'' Mildred says and presses the button with a little smirk. ''I guess I will see you tomorrow'' she says as you part ways and you take one more look at her before entering your hotel room and falling onto the bed, daydreaming some more about your redhead neighbor Mildred.

The next evening approaches faster than you originally intended or expected for that matter. You woke up with a headache in the morning so you decided to take things slow and have breakfast inside. After that you explored the hotel a bit more and bought some pain medication as you forgot bringing some and hoping your headache would soon pass because you are looking forward to the mexican themed party in the evening.

For the remainder of the day you sat in your usual position, sipping on some non alcoholic drinks this time and reading your book while occassionally glancing at Mildred sitting in her usual spot and throughout the day a few times your eyes would lock and smiles would be exchanged. ''Excuse me Miss the preparations for the theme party are starting now, if I might ask you inside for a while until preparations are finished?'' your usual waiter informs you and you smile and retrieve your things only to bump into Mildred on your way up to your room.

''Oh hello there'' she says as you also get in the elevator ''Hi'' you answer trying hard not to blush. ''Will I see you at the party later?'' you ask and Mildred chuckles before asking ''Have you forgotten that we both booked a table last night?'' and you blush in embarassment as a result of your headache making you forget some details about last night. ''Oh sorry yeah I- I had a bit of a headache this morning I think it made me forget some things'' you smile and scratch your neck nervously. ''Sprite usually does the trick with hangovers or any lemon soda'' Mildred explains, the nurse within her showing. ''Oh thank you well I will remember that for next time'' you say and wink before you both walk into your hotel rooms to get ready for your nights.

Getting ready and finding the right outfit seems to take you an eternity because you can't quite decide on the right outfit. After spreading every piece of clothing you own and brought here all over the bed, you finally decide on a nice loose dress with some flowers printed on it. You spray some perfume and apply a little makeup before taking your handbag and walking out the room.

You could already hear music coming from downstairs and the party in the outside area and saw people there. However, you are unsure where Mildred is and whether you should knock on her door but then again you haven't decided on coming here together so it's a bit awkward. In the end you figure she must be downstairs already and you walk into the outdoor area only for your eyes to be blessed with the beautiful redhead angel.

She is standing away from everyone, overlooking the ocean and smoking a cigarette. Her hair is slightly curled and looks shorter than usual as she styled it differently. She turns around slightly to flick her cigarette away and you see her lips are the usual red shade but her cheeks are covered with a slight blush and her eyes with some eyeshadow. For a second you get lost, seeing her in a beautiful orange-yellow dress that exposes her shoulders and chest and once again you notice her perfect structure and your heart flutters for a moment seeing her like that.

''Good evening Miss, may I show you to your table?'' your usual waiter asks and you simply nod and finally take your eyes off Mildred and her stunning appearance tonight. ''Here you go'' he says and points you to a small table overlooking the ocean. Suddenly you get this feeling of really wanting to actually walk down to the beach tonight after being here for a few days and not even getting out of the resort. The themed evening seems nice, there is decoration everywhere and by the bar there is a little buffet with different foods and a menu card with all sorts of drinks and cocktails. They have also put up a little stage where a band seems to be performing any moment.

As you scan your area you see Mildred, sitting a few tables away from your own and for a moment you scold yourself for not just asking to sit together tonight and enjoy the evening together instead of separately.

''I will have a magherita please'' you tell your usual waiter and chuckle slightly seeing his sombrero hat that definitely does not suit him. ''In a moment Miss'' he says and leaves again. At the same time you see Mildred ordering the same drink and you feel confident so you wave at her to greet her and she waves back with a little smile. Your attention focusses on the stage as the band starts playing some music. ''Here you go Miss'' he hands you your drink and just as you are about to take a sip, you see Mildred raising her glass at you and mouthing the words cheers. ''Cheers'' you mouth and her eyes on you send little tingles through your body, yet again.

After about half an hour or so and a few magheritas later you decide to get some food and you almost bump into Mildred standing next to you, also a plate in hand and putting some food on it. ''Are you enjoying your night?'' she asks and you smile politely and think to yourself ''It would be much more pleasant spending it with you'' but instead you simply nod. ''You know I was thinking- only if you don't mind of course- we could maybe'' you start stammering and Mildred simply looks at you with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile on her lips. ''Yes?'' she asks somewhat impatiently and teasingly. ''Maybe we could sit together?'' you ask putting together all the confidence you have in yourself.

''I thought you would never ask'' she says and you almost died when you hear those words and see her walk away with a little wink. Retireving your plate now filled with food, you walk back to your table and grab your bag and drink before clumpisly making your way over to hers, almost dropping half of the things in your hand in the process. You sit down slightly embarrassed, your cheeks covered in a slight red shade. ''So, are you enjoying your night so far?'' you ask trying to make conversation while you start to have some of your food ''Yes I enjoy the Mexican theme'' Mildred explains and also starts eating her food

The two of you small talk for ages while eating and sipping on your mageritas, Mildred tells you more about what it's like to be a nurse and some funny patient stories and you tell her a bit more about your life before coming here, without going into any of the sadder details.

Momentarily your eyes widen as you just bit into a very spicy pepper and Mildred looks at you with a worried expression, thinking you are about to choke because your face is bright red and eyes widened still. ''Y/N are you okay?'' she asks, putting her fork down.

Somehow you manage to actually swallow the damn thing but your mouth is on fire ''Pepper spicy'' you choke out and Mildred quickly gets up and walks to the bar to get you something. ''I need some milk'' she explains to the bartender and he looks at her slightly puzzled but hands it her anyway. ''Pepper'' she chuckles and he simply chuckles back and watches her walk over to your table, handing you the glass. You look at her a bit dumbfounded at the white liquid that is clearly milk ''Drink up or don't you trust me?'' she asks raising an eyebrow and in your slightly drunk state you take it quickly and as soon as the liquid hits your mouth, it instantly stops the tingly and hot feeling on your tongue.

''Thank you'' you breathe out, feeling slightly embarrassed. ''As you were saying'' you try and change the subject and Mildred looks down with a smile and it's certainly the most beautiful smile you have ever seen. For the rest of the night, you and her enjoy each other's company and talk mostly and enjoy the atmosphere, music and several tequila shots. ''You know Mildred I haven't actually been to the beach yet, can you believe that?'' you blurt out slightly slurring your words. ''Well me neither, how about we explore it together?'' the redhead asks and even though everything is spinning a little of course you agree. ''Like right now?'' you ask excited and the redhead simply replies

''Sure this music is starting to give me a headache anyway'' and you follow her while she leads the way through the busy crowd of people dancing to the music and onto a little path down to the beach. Thankfully there are little lights leading down the stairs so you don't trip over and die on your way there. ''It looks beautiful doesn't it?'' you mumble seeing the moonlight shining onto the ocean and soon after you feel your feet on the soft sand and you take off your sandals and hold them in your hand. The two of you start walking and you can't help but think to yourself ''With the moonlight like this she is even prettier'' but you don't dare to say those words out loud, not knowing enough about her situation yet.

Thinking about her situation you feel confident and slightly drunk so you ask ''Might I ask why you aren't here with a gentleman accompaning you?'' but quickly feel embarrassed so you add ''Let me guess haven't found mister right?'' but it only makes the situation more awkward.

Just in this moment as if the universe is trying to save you, Mildred trips over a stone and you catch her just in time, holding her up with her hand and your eyes momentarily locking. ''Thank you'' she says and smiles shily. ''No I haven't found the right person yet'' she replies to your initial question and with that you abandon the question and move on, listening to Mildred talk about her travelling.

''I once met this man in France and I thought he was trying to ask me out but in reality he wanted to sell me baguette'' Mildred tells you one of her stories and you can't help bursting out laughing, causing for the redhead to do the same.

''My my it's late and we had too much to drink'' Mildred eventually says after walking up and down the beach and back to the stairs. The walk back to the hotel is mostly quiet because of some people still partying and singing loudly by the lobby and even in the elevators. ''I really enjoyed tonight, thank you'' you tell her and she places a hand on your shoulder and whispers ''Me too darling, see you tomorrow'' before walking into her hotel room, leaving you on cloud nine with that petname.

It takes seconds for you to fall asleep and you only manage to quickly take off your dress before sleep consumes you and it's the same for your neighbor Mildred.

The next morning you wake up considerably late, just before lunch time with a pounding headache and a sick feeling in your stomach. ''Ugh I will never drink again'' you tell yourself because this is the second hangover you have had on this vacation, just this one is considerably worse. For a while you don't get out of bed and wait for the feeling to pass, looking out your balcony window and seeing the ocean in the distance.

Eventually you figure it's time to get out of bed and you manage to have a shower but with the lights turned off and the curtains shut because the light is irritating your vision and only making the headache stronger. After getting dressed in a shirt and some shorts for today, as you don't plan on doing anything major, you walk down to the hotel lobby.

''Hello Miss unfortunately you have just missed breakfast but we will be serving lunch soon'' one of the hotel staff members greet you but the thought of food makes you even more nauseas. ''No thank you I am alright, just looking to get something to drink'' you say and walk to the outdoor bar area. Mildred isn't in her usual chair so you assume she is still asleep as well ''What can I get you miss?'' the waiter asks and you order your drinks ''Could I have these to go?'' you ask

Feeling confident, you make your way to room number 302 with two sprite cans in your hand, remembering Mildred mentioning it helps with hangovers and she for sure would have one too right now. You hear a faint ''Come in'' and you furrow your eyebrows, confused whether she was expecting someone. Hesitantly you open the door and walk inside, only to find Mildred sitting on the balcony, her knees pulled up to her chest and looking into the distance, wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette.

''Hi it's me'' you announce your presence and she turns to you a bit surprised, putting her feet back on the floor and her cigarette on the ashtray ''I thought it was the maid'' Mildred admits and you take a few steps closer and onto the balcony ''I um well brought these'' you say and hand her a can of sprite. Mildred can't help but smirk at the metaphor and you remembering her words ''That bad huh?'' she asks and you simply nod and add ''Well by the looks of it, yours is too considering you are wearing sunglasses despite the sun covered by clouds'' and once again the redhead raises an eyebrow at your boldness. She points at the other chair and says ''Have a seat''

--------------

A few days later:

Just with every good and beautiful thing, this holiday is slowly coming to an end and you feel upset that today is officially your last day at the resort before you have to go back tomorrow. Although you have no clue where to actually go because you don't plan on going back to your hometown, not having anything to go back to or anyone for that matter.

After getting ready you walk downstairs and meet Mildred for breakfast sitting in your usual spot. Over the past two weeks, especially after that Mexican themed party, the two of you have gotten to know each other better and spend the remainder of your days here together. You learnt more about what used to be the mysterious stranger, booking the seat you wanted to sit in and she in return.

You had developed little habits like Mildred making the hotel staff add a chair next to hers and always booking those two for the next days. You would meet her downstairs and have breakfast together, overlooking the ocean. Then you would both kinda do your own things like Mildred smoking some cigarettes or looking into the distance, reading the newspapers. You would sometimes go for a swim or read your book but always near Mildred.

You started to grow more fond of her and you developed something more than a little crush on her and the feeling you felt when laying eyes on her for the first time, still hasn't changed. You feel the same tingle in your stomach and fluttering of your heart. It's like whenever you are close to her, you feel as if you forgot how to do anything no matter if speaking or breathing.

At the same time you have been feeling this wrenching feeling in your heart, not just sad about leaving this vacation but also sad about having to say goodbye to Mildred and not having the redhead around anymore. Nothing major happened between you in those two weeks and you doubt she has a thing for women in the first place but you still liked having the company of this woman and learning more about her.

''Hi there, it's a surprise to see you up and down here first'' Mildred notices as she finds you on your usual chairs. ''I guess I couldn't sleep anymore'' you mumble and she sits down slightly concerned, her eyebrows knitting. ''Are you alright Y/N?'' she asks but before you get to answer, the waiter comes over with your usual breakfast orders and also two glasses of champagne. ''These are a little goodbye gift from the resort as you are both leaving tomorrow'' your usual waiter says and you smile and thank him

The rest of the day, you spent with reading your book and finishing it, swimming a little more and talking to Mildred. ''How about we have dinner at the beach tonight?'' the redhead suggests and you are a bit surprised at her invitation. ''Yes I would love to, do you think that's possible?'' you ask wondering how that would work because the beach isn't on the premises of this hotel. ''Oh Darling come on, don't you know me by now? I am always prepared'' she says and explains how she already had the staff prepare a little something.

Just as the sun sets, you and Mildred walk down to the beach with a blanket and a basket that the staff had prepared so the two of you could enjoy your dinner by the beach. ''This is beautiful'' you state as you and her sit on the blanket and she sets the food and drinks down. ''They really are fantastic here'' the redhead admires the staff's effort and you were about to say ''So are you'' but successfully stopped yourself and held it back

''So where are you headed after tomorrow?'' you absent-mindedly ask while overlooking the beautiful view in front of you. The sun is setting just behind Mildred and you wish your eyes could take pictures and you could somehow save this image and moment forever because she looks breathtaking. Part of you wishes you could cherish this moment forever even if you know your ways are soon to part.

''Italy I think, I will take a taxi down to the nearest city and see what flights might be available'' she says and trails off talking about how she has been to europe a few times but never Italy. ''That sounds beautiful I have always wanted to go there'' you admit, really loving the aesthetic of the beautiful sunny country.

Silence settles after this, you and Mildred just enjoying some of the pasta and breadsticks that the staff and chefs prepared and sipping on some red wine. ''Y/N are you alright? you seem awfully quiet today'' Mildred points out and your lips part for a moment but then again you don't really know what to say to her, not wanting to admit how you feel about leaving this place and more specifically her.

''No I am okay, just a bit sad we- I mean that we have to leave this place'' you admit and Mildred looks down, her gaze avoiding yours as if she wants to say something or something is on her mind. ''How about you? it seems there is something on your mind'' you state, noticing how tense and slightly nervous she seems since coming here with you.

It takes her a few moments to speak again but you want to make sure to give her time and for her to be ready to share whatever she wants to share with you. ''Do you remember when we came here last?'' she asks and you chuckle and reply ''Yes and I remember the aftermath of that night'' you chuckle, remembering how hungover you both were the next morning.

''You asked me why I am not here with a gentlemen and while I don't share this with anyone really apart from my close circle.. I- the reason is that I enjoy the company of other women and I think you might understand that's why I am telling you'' she says and looks up to meet your  eyes. Your heart flutters a little at her confession because your radar really was off with her and you had no clue until she just admitted it.

Quickly you compose yourself and reply ''Yes I do know'' because you would hate to make her uncomfortable by saying the wrong thing or taking too long to reply because you know the feeling well of coming out to people and how nerve wrecking it truly is. ''I do too'' you whisper barely audible because suddenly you feel very nervous and the butterflies in your stomach are back.

Mildred locks eyes with you and her mouth is slightly ajar because even though she had a feeling you might know what it's like she didn't actually think you would be into women but what you didn't see is the little smile playing on her lips and Mildred hiding how exciting your confession truly is to her .

''Where are you planning to go after this holiday?'' Mildred asks, changing the subject again because it makes you both very nervous. ''I don't really know I guess I will see where life takes me'' you admit and look down feeling sad.

''How about Italy?'' she asks and for a moment you are completely dumbfounded and feel like you lost the ability of thinking clearly until you realize what she is truly suggesting here. ''As in -'' you pause for a moment not wanting to make a fool out of yourself by reading this wrong  ''As in you and me'' Mildred finishes your sentence.

It feels like everything is frozen, the only thing to be heard right now, the sound of your pounding heart and the waves of the ocean hitting the shore. ''Do you - I-'' you stutter unable to form a reply. ''The truth is I like you Y/N and I would like to see where this is going'' Mildred admits and your eyes widen because this is better than any of your daydreams you have had so far.

''So how about we take on the adventure together?'' Mildred asks with a smile and you suddenly feel her hand grazing yours slightly. ''I would love to'' you say truthfully and you can't hide the blushing of your cheeks or smile on your face. ''Alright it's settled then darling'' the redhead says before handing you your glass of champagne ''To new beginnings'' she says and raises her glass.

As you sit there, watching the sun set completely and slowly some stars shining brightly in the night sky, seeing Mildred looking at the ocean and occasionally glancing at you, you feel complete and even though things are fresh and somewhat uncertain, right now you know you have a path. And maybe just maybe the day you waltzed into this holiday and met this mysterious stranger that made your heart flutter from the first moment you saw her, also made Mildred Ratched waltz right into your heart.

You smile as you think of the adventures ahead but as you see Mildred looking at you, you turn around shily. ''What is it?'' she asks softly her hand still on yours. ''I- I'm just happy'' you chuckle and you almost faint as she leans in closer and her lips are very close to yours. Everything spins and stops yet again and you are sure she must be able to hear your heart because it is beating out of your chest. ''Good you deserve it darling'' she whispers and then she closes the gap.

Arriving here, you never expected to find true happiness and you expected to only be able to relax a little after what happened with your old job and life before. Coming here you never expected that within the matter of two weeks you would get closer to your goal of eventually settling somewhere with a beautiful woman that you love and spend the rest of your lives together while exploring the world. You had no idea this person would be the mysterious redhead that stole your chair on your first day and finally your heart in the end as her lips meet yours softly.

[maybankiara]

PHONE SWAP (DREW STARKEY)

18: MR. WHITE CLAW

summary: Addie Mallory is just your average economics student when she meets Drew Starkey at her local Target in Atlanta. This is where the story is supposed to end – a short meeting and a picture to go – except Drew accidentally leaves with the wrong phone, and the story begins, instead.

w/c: 4.4k

a/n: long one! sorry about it. i promise it won’t happen a lot. also, if i catch one of yous hating on holden you’re gonna catch these hands. <3

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previous part | series masterlist

Me | 6:42pm I swear it’s fate that you’re coming back today because you know what Me | 6:42pm MARIANNE IS MAKING GOULASH TOMORROW Me | 6:43pm surprisingly unrelated to you coming back but hey!!

Drew | 6:45pm no way! Drew | 6:45pm Does she make good goulash?

Me | 6:46pm I’d be able to tell if she ever made it before lmao Me | 6:46pm it’s her first time Me | 6:47pm but she’s a pretty good cook overall so!! I wouldn’t expect like a masterpiece or whatever but a decent meal??? Me | 6:47pm f yeah

Drew | 6:48pm I’m inviting myself over Drew | 6:50pm what time should I come by?

Me | 6:57pm if you think for one (1) second that this wasn’t an invitation Me | 6:57pm you are terribly wrong, mr. white claw man

Drew | 7:01pm ok but WHEN SHOULD I COME OVER

Me | 7:02pm oh right 

Drew | 7:05pm ???

Me | 7:05pm Marianne says goulash will be around 6 but you can come over at like 4 or 5 so we can catch up!! Me | 7:06pm I still need to show you the album!! I developed some photos I took since we hung out

Drew | 7:07pm 4 sounds great, can’t wait!! Drew | 7:07pm I’ll make sure to bring some White Claw Drew | 7:07pm What does Marianne drink?

Me | 7:08pm Vodka Me | 7:08pm Tequilla Me | 7:09pm jk you don’t have to bring anything, we have enough alcohol in the fridge

Drew | 7:10pm Still bringing beer

Me | 7:10pm And good vibes

Drew | 7:10pm And good vibes, of course

Me | 7:10pm Gonna be good 😄

◇

The bell rings shortly past four o’clock, and Addie buzzes their guest in with a smile on her face. Marianne peeks from the kitchen, leaning over the corner, strands of her hair falling from underneath the headband-bun combo she’s sporting for the cooking. 

  ‘Is it the celebrity judge?’

  ‘Sure is a judge,’ Addie says, unlocking the door. ‘Not so sure he’d like the celebrity title.’

  The door opens and reveals a smiling Drew, in his usual attire – a simple grey tee with a Queen logo on it, black jeans, and a baseball cap. Greetings are exchanged, and then Drew’s taking his shoes off as Addie warns him that maybe Marianne might be a bit much today. There’s a casual whiff of cologne that Addie catches – it’s similar to Holden’s minty one, but simpler.

  ‘You ready to munch on some British-French-American-Hungarian goulash?’

  He raises an eyebrow. ‘Is anyone ever ready for that?’

  ‘Nope. But Marianne has just called you the celebrity judge of her nonexistent cooking show, so you’ve got no choice but to be ready.’

  ‘Fair,’ he says, just as Marianne shouts from the kitchen, ‘I’ll have my cooking show soon!’

  The self-proclaimed chef pops out of the kitchen, wielding a spatula covered in a dark red, thick liquid. Her red-and-white apron is tied haphazardly around her waist; both the apron and the sweatpants have already become victims to her cooking, and the bun seems to be getting looser by the minute. Marianne flashes the two a massive grin, one finger pointed at Drew.

  ‘Drew!’

  ‘Marianne!’

  Her grin widens so much Addie’s worried it’ll rip her cheeks. She wiggles her finger, then, in a come here motion. ‘I need your goulash expertise, stat.’

  ‘Give the man a moment to breathe,’ says Addie. Next to her, Drew chuckles. 

  ‘Do you want to enjoy the goulash?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Then let the ones who can make it good do it and stay out of it.’ Marianne crosses her arms over her chest, and a drop of liquid falls off the spatula. She doesn’t even notice. ‘Drew?’

  ‘Coming right up, boss.’ 

  With a pat on the back from Addie, Drew departs into the kitchen. Marianne is already listing off all the things that she’s put in the goulash, how she’s done it so far, and how the internet has told her needs to be done from now on. Addie tunes most of it out – while she thinks Marianne is one of the best cooks she’s ever met, after living with her for over a year, some things you can’t help but get used to and eventually, get a little bit tired of. She’s happy there’s Drew, though, because he’s either very interested in Marianne’s process and amused by her telling of it, or very good at pretending to be so.

  Addie grabs a rather small box with a pink bow on it out of the hallway drawer, right next to a grey envelope, then makes her way to the stack of French books lying underneath the TV. The newest copy of a first-edition of The Unbearable Lightness of Being in French is lying on top of a photo album, the same one that Addie told Drew stories from the last time he was over here. She tucks it under her arm and brings it to the kitchen, which has a prominent smell of Marianne’s cooking – a lot of spices, some of them even scattered around with powder spilling out at the edges, and wine that’s both a part of the dish and accompanying Marianne and whoever’s keeping her company. This time it’s Drew, so instead of wine, there’s a can of White Claw in his hands. Addie chuckles to herself.

  Marianne, huddled over the steaming pot, motions for Addie to come closer without looking. ‘How does this smell?’

‘I don’t know how a goulash is supposed to smell.’

  ‘Like that,’ Drew answers. ‘Stop worrying so much.’

  ‘If it can be better, I’ll make it better,’ replies Marianne, then asks him to contribute with some spices and then stir it. ‘If it goes badly, you made it. If it’s great, I made it.’

  Drew laughed. It was a big kind of laugh, the one that fills out the entire room. Taking a seat at their modest dining table, Addie realised it’s been a while since anyone other than the two of them laughed so freely in this place. (That just made her miserable; she needs to stop focusing so much on work and her studies if she wants to retain a semblance of a social life.) She puts the album down, and places the box right underneath it – just enough to be noticeable.

  ‘Addie, you didn’t tell me your roommate is basically the female equivalent to Gordon Ramsay.’ Drew’s leaning against one of the cupboards, sipping his drink with a smile. Marianne elbows him in the shoulder, frowning. 

  ‘The kids one, maybe. I don’t swear, that’s Addie’s job. She’s the sailor.’

  ‘Bitch,’ says Addie under her breath, feeling warmth creeping up into her cheeks as she smiles. ‘Calling me out like that.’

  Marianne doesn’t look at her, but Addie hears her quiet giggle. ‘That’s a quarter.’

  Addie sighs, and Drew lets out a chuckle that sounds a lot like oh. He probably figured out what the jar filled up with quarters is, and Addie thinks he’s finding it a little too amusing, so she says, ‘Don’t laugh.’ 

  Of course, it doesn’t work.

  ‘That’s kind of funny, you’ve got to admit.’

  ‘No.’

  He raises his eyebrows at her, not even trying to hide the smile. Addie calls him to look at the albums, after she places a quarter in the jar, because she can feel Marianne is about to side with him and go on a tirade where she makes fun of Addie’s bad habit – not that she minds, really, but she’d much rather see what Drew thinks of the photographs and his birthday present. 

  It ends up taking him a long time to notice it, which starts driving Addie nuts, but she wants him to be the one to notice it, because… Well. She doesn’t really have a reason. 

  They go through the photographs and Marianne is hovering over Drew’s shoulder, nearly dripping the goulash a few times onto the album, until Addie tells her that her goulash is burning (it isn’t) and she finally leaves the spatula where it belongs, before coming back to look. She likes the photos, and so does Drew – Addie had most of them developed, both from Waystone and the park they were in. Most of them were of the places, but there were a few of Drew. They weren’t the best quality, but his face was relaxed in them, and he was smiling with a playful glint in his eyes, and Addie liked them more than the ones where he looked like he was posing. (She developed those, too, but still hasn’t quite figured out where to put them. She’ll probably give them to him.) Good memories were made that day, and friendships cemented, too.

  When he finally notices the box, his eyebrows shoot up. ‘Is this the present?’

  Addie just nods and waits. She’s thankful that Marianne is humming along to the music while she stirs the pot, because it means that there’s no awkward silence while he carefully unwraps the bow, as if it would break if he tugged on it too hard. He opens it, finally, and laughs – Addie feels like he’s been laughing a lot more recently. 

  He holds the present in his hand, shaking his head. ‘A phone case. Really?’

  ‘Yep.’ Addie grins so hard she bites a little on the inside of her lip; what if he doesn’t like it? She pushes the thought away. ‘Can’t have us swapping our phones again.’

  ‘True. Although, it did end up in a pretty good thing.’

  ‘I guess it did, yeah.’

  There’s a moment where they’re just staring at the phone case, as if it is about to start talking. Addie kind of wishes it would, and once again feels thankful for Marianne’s music. She doesn’t want to start reminiscing, but that’s where her brain is going, and suddenly she finds herself thinking about that summer morning where she was hungover and half-asleep when she met him and it feels weird that it’s been nearly six months since that. It feels like it was yesterday, but it feels like Drew’s always been around. 

  ‘Mr. White Claw,’ he reads off the back of the matt case, amused. Addie’s pretty proud of herself for that one.

  ‘Nothing describes you better than that, basic white bitch.’ She smiles at him, and kicks him under the table so he’d look at her. ‘Happy birthday, dude.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He raises his can and waits until she raises hers, then says, ‘To swapping phones.’

  Addie clinks the can against his. ‘And making friends.’

  ‘And putting another quarter in the jar. Don’t think I didn’t hear that.’

  ‘Marianne.’

  ‘Nu-uh.’ Marianne snaps her fingers, pointing first at Addie as she speaks, then Drew. ‘You, quarter in the jar, and now that the ceremony’s over, I need you back at the cooking station. The goulash ain’t gonna cook itself, mec.’

  As Marianne says, the other two do. Addie is honestly just grateful she doesn’t have to be the one helping out in the kitchen, because as much as she enjoys cooking, Marianne’ demands get on her nerves sometimes. That, and Drew is actually enjoying helping her out. Addie gets to sit back and relax, listen to her friends make food and bond over the dishes they can make—turns out Drew is incredible at making his mum’s casserole recipe, and promises to bring it over someday—and she feels like she’s come a long way from being holed up in her room, studying and working. Even if sometimes it feels like nothing’s changed. 

  In between helping Marianne, Drew puts the phone case in its rightful place. It’s a bit cheesy, but Addie likes the thought that there’ll be a reminder of their friendship with him at all times, if he likes it as much as she thinks he does. It’s a bit silly, too. Addie likes giving and receiving presents that are more silly than useful, which is probably not the savvy and mature way to approach life. 

  Time wears on, and Addie includes herself every now and then, mostly just chilling on her phone as the two work towards what they claim is going to be a masterpiece. She highly doubts it, and it’s amusing whenever she voices her opinion and they try to argue otherwise. She likes to see them getting along – she’d never admit it, but as much as she knows and loves Marianne, a part of her was still scared he’d get the celebrity treatment. Now, she watches as Marianne threatens to throw goulash if he doesn’t cut the pepper faster, and she can only laugh. 

  Her phone chimes and there’s a text message displayed over Holden and Addie’s faces –  a picture taken barely a week ago. They look happy together, and seeing it brings a smile to her face. As Addie texts back, Marianne ushers Drew away from the pot, finally taking over. Drew joins her at the table with a can of White Claw and a can of Heineken. 

  She puts her phone down and takes the Heineken with thanks. ‘Cooking time over?’

  Drew nods. ‘The chef fired me. I think.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Addie laughs, ‘the chef tends to do that.’

  To prove a point, Marianne gives them the finger, and says a whole sentence in French out of which Addie can only understand ‘merde’, and that is mostly because she turns around for that word, glaring at the two. Drew nearly chokes on his drink, and Addie just shrugs, because it’s Marianne, and no one can really understand Marianne. A conversation starts about photography and how Drew did mean to bring the camera, but he left it with Chase and Madelyn when he was visiting, and he ends up telling them stories from all the sets he’s been on. 

  When the bell chimes again, he’s the first one to notice, as he’s sitting not even a foot from the entrance into the kitchen. ‘Someone ringing?’

  ‘Oh, god, I forgot— Thanks!’

  Addie makes a beeline for the hallway, giving her friends a quick ‘one moment!’ in lieu of an explanation. She’s at the front door within seconds and opens it with a smile, greeting her boyfriend with a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. 

  Holden chuckles, and then he’s giving her a brief kiss on the lips before they part. ‘Hello there. You had a bit to drink?’

  ‘A little,’ Addie says, feeling the heat in her cheeks. ‘I’m glad you stopped by.’

  ‘Me too.’ His hand falls from her waist and he takes a step back, looking around. ‘You’ve got the papers?’

  Addie reaches into the drawer and takes the grey folder out of it, but doesn’t give it to him just yet. ‘I know you’re in a hurry, but Marianne is making enough goulash for a whole village, and Drew’s here, and I want to introduce you.’

  ‘He’s here?’ he asks, just at the same time as Marianne shouts from the kitchen, ‘WHO IS IT?’

  In her defense, she thought it would’ve been a nice surprise for Holden to stop by and stick around for a little bit once he got what he came here for, and maybe chat to her friends for a few minutes. The idea might’ve been fine, but hearing Holden’s little sigh at the realisation and a guaranteed confusion from the two in the kitchen, it might’ve not been a fine surprise. This paired with Holden only meeting Marianne of her friends so far...

  ‘C’mon,’ she tells him, hoping to reassure herself just as much, and takes hold of his hand. ‘They don’t bite.’

  Back in the kitchen, Marianne and Drew are leaning on the cupboards, both of them silent and waiting. Addie walkins into the kitchen first, and she watches their eyes follow her hand – the one which drags Holden in behind her. Marianne shouts his name and nearly leaps to hug him, while Drew remains at his spot, gnacing between the two having a quick catch-up and Addie, who tries to tell him not to worry in the form of a smile. 

  His eyes keep dropping back to their hands, intertwined, and she can see barely-concealed confusion on his face. 

  ‘This is Holden,’ she says, now that Marianne isn’t hogging him anymore. ‘My boyfriend. Holden, this is Drew.’

  They shake hands and exchange the ‘nice to meet you’s without anyone feeling the need to prove themselves to be the Alpha male, so Addie counts it as a win. Not that she thought either of them would do that – she just hasn’t seen Drew interact with anyone who wasn’t her or Marianne, and Drew is, after Marianne, the first person from Addie’s life Holden has gotten to meet. 

  The more she thinks of it, the more she realises how risky it was. 

  ‘You’re the actor Drew, right?’

  For a moment, Addie just watches Drew – his hands are crossed on his chest and he looks a little menacing, now that she tries to see him from Holden’s perspective. Tall and pretty attractive, pretty relaxed in a place he’s barely been to, and with the reputation of a successful actor – and to top it all off, a resting bitch face. 

  Addie’s heart skips a beat. 

  Drew laughs and she feels relief wash over her, instead. ‘Is that how she presents me to people?’

  ‘Drew, it’s literally how we met,’ she says, rolling her eyes at him from across the room. ‘How else am I supposed to explain how I know you?’

  ‘Fair.’

  There’s a moment where the sizzling of the goulash is all that can be heard, but Addie doesn’t think it’s one of those heavy silences, where every person seems like they’re holding their breath. She takes it as a good sign. 

  Holden pats his thigh, then, and he has an apologetic face when he says, ‘I’ve got to go. Work won’t wait forever.’ He flashes Drew a smile. ‘Nice meeting you, Drew.’

  ‘You too.’

  Addie sighs. ‘You just got here.’

  He opens his mouth to say something, but Marianne is quicker: ‘You try this goulash, look me in the eye, and say you don’t want more of it.’ There’s no and then you can go, because Addie has a feeling Marianne knows pretty well just how good the goulash is. 

  She commands the room as she approaches Holden with the tiniest bit of goulash steaming from the spatula over her hand. Her eyes are determined and there’s a crook in the corner of her lips – the sly kind of smile when she knows she’s already won. Holden doesn’t get a chance to protest, because the spatula is headed for him, and he’s got nothing to do but take it. 

  The room holds a breath. Even Drew is looking at Holden in expectation, chin resting on the palm of his hand. 

  For a bit, Holden just coughs and complains about the hotness (Marianne argued he had to have been blind to not see that it was steaming). Once he’s finally back to normal breathing and side-eyeing Addie for giggling at him, he tells Marianne it’s one of the best things he’s ever tasted.

  Addie could swear she could see pride and self-satisfaction through Marianne’s eyes.

  ‘Now that Holden is staying,’ says Addie, ‘can the rest of us have some, too?’

  ‘Yes, ma’am,’ replies Marianne, with a newfound spring in her step, grace in the way she moves. Drew laughs at her, quietly, and Addie finds herself laughing with him.

  Marianne brings out the goulash and Addie helps pour it into the bowls, handing each of them one. The chef ends up taking Addie’s chair, on Addie’s insistence, because what does she deserve after all these hours other than enjoying her efforts in peace? So Addie leans on the counter, ignoring Marianne’s protests that it’s dirty (‘These shorts need to go into the wash anyway’) and savours the food. It’s unbelievably good – Drew even comments at one point that it’s as good as the one his Hungarian neighbour made, if not better. Marianne glows after each compliment, so Addie doesn’t really stop giving them. Even as the conversation goes on, and Holden stays a little longer than planned, they keep sprinkling in nice comments about the goulash whenever they can. 

  Addie’s glad Holden and Drew are here for this, however unplanned it was.

  Holden slaps his thigh again, in the very same manner with the very same look on his face and this time, Addie catches herself right before she laughs. ‘I’ve really got to go now,’ he says, getting to his feet. ‘Work calls.’

  He walks up to Addie and she smiles at him, elbowing him gently in the ribs. ‘That’s okay, Mr. Workaholic. We understand.’

  She thinks maybe she’s pushing it, but Holden smiles and reaches the other side of her waist, tickling just enough so that she groans for him to stop. ‘You’ve got it just as bad as I do,’ he tells her, and she can’t argue.

  ‘Wait, Holden.’ Marianne twirls her spoon in front of her space, brow furrowed, and a distant look on her face. ‘Can I ask you lot a personal question?’

  ‘Marianne—’

  ‘Don’t worry about it, Addie. I won’t bother them too much.’

  Marianne does give her a reassuring smile, or what’s meant to be one, because Addie doesn’t feel particularly reassured. The girl, for all the love Addie holds for her, really has a thing for pushing the limits and boundaries without meaning to. Addie sinks into herself, arms crossed on her chest with Holden’s hand still resting on her waist, and hopes Marianne picks her approach carefully. Addie might know her well enough, but Drew and Holden don’t.

  ‘Sure,’ says Drew, leaning back in his chair. ‘What is it?’

  Instead of responding, he looks at Holden until he agrees to it, too. She takes a deep breath, then, and gives them the shaky kind of confident smile as her fingers fix up her bun. ‘How important are romantic things in a relationship to guys?’

  Addie resists dropping her head in her hands. She just sighs. Glares a little. 

  Lets it all unfold. 

  The hand on Addie’s waist moves a little, with no purpose. She can hear Holden breathe more deeply, as he always does when he’s trying to crack a problem. Drew, on the other hand, frowns; his eyes stare out of the window, the distance noticeable in them. Part of Addie wishes the question was never asked – part of it is as glad that it wasn’t bad as it is honest that maybe, Addie is curious about the answers, too. 

  ‘Probably shouldn’t ask Holden that while Addie’s around,’ jokes Drew.

  ‘Ha-ha. Very funny.’

  Drew looks at her and shrugs, a smile peeking through. (Addie found it a little bit funny and he can see it.) He sighs a little and scratches the place above his eyebrow, glancing at Marianne. ‘What kind of romantic things are we talking about?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Marianne waves her hand in a vague motion, then lets it go back to fiddling with the bun. ‘Um, dates, quality time together, gifts or flowers or whatever, that romantic sappy kind of shite.’

  ‘It depends, then,’ Holden says, voice deep and laced in thought, just as Drew speaks with confidence, ‘Very important.’

  Drew chuckles and Holden smiles, too, but Marianne doesn’t look very reassured, so Drew leans forward in the chair, placing his elbows on the table with his hands crossed. ‘Look, it depends on the guy, yeah, but most guys like the romantic stuff. Going on dates, getting flowers and chocolates, candlelit dinners and just spending quality time together is a big deal. Not having that is just kind of… I don’t know.’

  Marianne nods. She’s looking at Drew as if she were soaking his words like a sponge, and not one that likes them. 

  ‘I don’t really agree,’ says Holden, after letting out a little ‘hmmm’ sound. ‘I mean, it really depends on the guy, but also the partner. Look at Addie and I – we spend most of our time together at work, or doing work, and it’s something we love doing so the time we spend together doing that is what we’d consider quality time, right? And you don’t— We don’t need all that romantic stuff. If you know someone likes you, there’s no need to constantly show it. If it works already.’

  Addie just stares at the ground. All eyes are on her, now, even if not physically – she can just feel the attention on her. Does she agree? Yes, for the most part, and it’s not her Marianne is asking this time. They’ve already spoken about this. Marianne knows Addie enjoys the approach she and Holden have with the relationship.

  When she finally looks up, she catches Drew’s eyes for a moment, and then they’re gone before she can read them. ‘Well,’ he says, ‘I guess it depends on your relationship and your boyfriend, then.’

  ‘My friend’s.’ Marianne nods with a smile that looks like it’s about to slip off. ‘I’m asking for a friend.’

  Drew leans back. ‘Sure, yeah. I hope your friend manages to sort it out.’

  Marianne thanks him, then makes a joke about the goulash being finger-licking, and within moments everything’s as if there wasn’t just a serious conversation. A little later, Addie walks Holden out, receiving a gentle kiss on the lips before he leaves. Drew sticks around for a little while longer and when Marianne invites Drew to their group’s annual Fourth of July party (very exclusive), Addie feels like it’s another unpredictable-Marianne moment she should’ve foreseen. 

  For better or worse, though, Drew shakes his head with a little sigh. ‘Thanks for the invitation, but I’ve already booked a flight home.’

  ‘Oh.’ Marianne nods, not even trying to hide her disappointment. ‘Shame. We throw the best parties around Atlanta.’

  Drew chuckles, tugging his jacket sleeves over his arms. ‘I don’t doubt that for a second. I’ll catch one of them, at some point.’

  ‘Yeah. You should.’

  Addie is leaning against the wall, watching them talk about their plans for the Fourth of July, and realises she’s happy that Holden’s met Drew. She’s happy he’s integrating into her friend group, at least bit by bit. It kind of makes everything more real; more permanent. Later, she finds out from Marianne that Drew messaged her, thanking her for the goulash experience. When she’s lying in bed, thinking about all the work she needs to do tomorrow because she slacked off today, a thought pops up: Marianne’s birthday is going to be soon, and that is bound to be a wholesome party.

  Addie falls asleep with a smile on her face.

◇

19: THANKFUL

tagging. (let me know if you want to be tagged!) @jjmaybanksbaby @ofpinkfizz @snkkat @drewswannabegirl @yeslifeofateen @rudypnkw @stfukie @x-lulu @drewstarkey @butgilinsky @solllaris @hyperactive2411 @chasefreakinstokes @surferkie @jroseron @k-k0129 @starlightstories @rafecameron​ 

[detectivereyes]

Even Dust Was Made to Settle

Summary: Mateo tells TK about what Owen said  (or the coda fic no one asked for)

Note: an outline featuring paulteo as roomies might also exist as an extension of this.... we’ll see how this one does first ;)

read on ao3

Pulling back into the station following their rescue of kid from his own birthday party, it seems like everyone can’t get out of the truck fast enough. The entire ride back to the station the engine felt like a pressure cooker, ready to explode if anyone dared to say a word.

As soon as the truck comes to a halt, Owen is the first one out, slamming the door shut and walking up to his office without a word.

The other members of the crew file out, with Paul, Marjan, and Mateo hanging back in their own circle.

“And the award for awkwardest truck ride back to the station goes to…” Marjan trails off, leaving the rest of the implied sentence unspoken.

“Someone should probably give TK a heads up about what’s going on,” Paul says, giving Mateo a nudge and pointing to where the younger Strand could be seen stocking the back of the ambulance.

Mateo looks startled. “Who? Me?”

“You’re the one who Cap spilled his guts out to,” Marjan says with sympathetic grin.

“What if he gets mad at me?”

“He won’t,” Paul quickly interjects. “If anything, he’ll be more mad if he doesn’t hear it from you first.”

Mateo shifts from foot to foot unsurely. It’s not that him and TK don’t get along, but it was one thing to betray Captain Strand’s confidence to Paul and Marjan; two of his closest friends. But TK is the Captain’s son, and the thought of going to him behind Cap’s back was enough to fill his stomach with anxiety.

“You just gotta get it over with, probie,” Marjan says with a gentle nudge in the direction of the ambulance bay.

“We’ll be right over here. For moral support,” Paul adds.

Mateo nods before slowly making his way across the station. He clears his throat once he’s within close distance of the paramedic, catching his attention.

“Hey, what’s up probie?”

“Hey, TK. Can I uh- can I talk to you for a second?” Mateo stutters out, trying to keep his nerves at bay as TK shifts to give him his full attention.

“Sure, what’s up?” he asks, clearly sensing the importance of the conversation.

“It’s just,” Mateo starts to say but cuts himself off, before starting over. “I’m worried about Cap.”

“Why? Did he say something?” TK furrows his brow, waiting for Mateo to continue.

“I mean he said a lot of things,” Mateo says. “When we had our ‘tequilla time’ the other night-”

“Wait, you guys had ‘tequilla time’?” TK cuts him off. 

“Yeah, well I’m kinda crashing in your room. Well, actually it’s not your room anymore according to Cap, it’s the guest room now, I guess-”

“Mateo.”

“Right, sorry,” Mateo gives him a small smile. “We both got pretty wasted but he was going on and on about how his house blew up. Which is crazy because my house actually blew up, and that’s why I’m staying with your dad-”

“Mateo,” TK urges on.

“Anyway, I think since your mom left and you moved out, he’s just not sure what to do with himself.”

TK looks down, and Mateo feels twinge of guilt for implying that it was TK’s fault Cap was feeling this way. 

“I should have known something was going on,” TK says quietly. 

“I don’t think it’s all you,” Mateo quickly adds. “I mean, it’s definitely something deeper going on. When he said about canceling his surgery I knew-“

“He canceled his surgery?”

Shit.

Mateo knew it would come up in this conversation, but he meant to ease into it more. Not blurting it out, knowing TK wasn’t aware of his dad’s decision.

He nods, dread building at the hurt look on TK’s face. This is exactly what he didn’t want.

TK’s quiet. Too quiet. Mateo’s about to open his mouth again before TK slams his hand down on the bench. “Fuck!”

Mateo recoils a bit at TK’s small outburst. “TK, I don’t-“

“I should have known,” TK continues, tone firm. “I should have pressed harder. I knew something was going on,” he sighs, placing his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Mateo offers. He knew telling TK wasn’t going to be easy, but he underestimated just how much it would hurt to see his friend so upset, knowing his words are the reason why.

TK looks up at him, the slightest hint of confusion on his face. “You don’t need to apologize, Mateo. I’m glad you told me. It’s just frustrating because I thought things were looking better, you know?”

Mateo nods, knowing exactly what TK means. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Yeah, I told Marjan and Paul, and then Judd found out too,” he explains, opting not to mention that everyone on the open radio channel, including Captain Strand also found out.

“Okay,” TK says, the gears turning in his head. “Can you just give me some time to think about it?”

“Yeah,” Mateo says with a nod. “Whatever you need, TK.”

TK gives him a weak smile, before returning his attention back to taking stock of the ambulance. 

Walking back across the firehouse, Mateo meets the gazes of Marjan and Paul who anxiously waiting to hear how it went. Mateo just shrugs. “He was really upset.”

“That’s understandable,” Paul says. 

“Yeah, but it was good you told him,” Marjan agrees, giving Mateo a clap on the shoulder before heading towards the bunk room.

Paul gives him a reassuring smile. “At least that’s settled now.”

“Yeah, well I still have to live with Captain Strand. And I don’t think he’s going to be very happy when he finds out I ratted him out to his son.”

“Well, I do have a couch you’re welcome to crash on if you would rather,” Paul offers with a shrug.

“Really?” Mateo asks, trying to gauge whether Paul is serious. He definitely considers the other man one of his best friends, but sometimes questions if he values his friends more than they value him. And he definitely didn’t think he and Paul were close enough for him to offer Mateo a place to sleep for more than few nights.

“Yeah, for as long as you need. Think about it let me know,” Paul says, giving him a smile before following Marjan up to the bunkroom and leaving Mateo to question what exactly just happened.

[undinegeist]

This isn’t really more content, I’m working on the edges of the next best thing - hopefully - but in the meantime I thought I’d suggest reading material for anyone who’s interested?

I just finished Bobbie Brown’s book - not makeup artist Bobbie Brown, devil help us, though until I read it I thought it was her - and it’s really great, Cherry on Top is its name…that’s for the Mötley Camp, she used to date Tommy Lee.

For the Pistols Camp, even though everyone seem to love to hate Nancy - I don’t, fyi - I’d really recommend her mom’s book, And I Don’t Want to Live This Life…it shows her as more than she’s portrayed to be, shows her as a real person, which is so important…that’s how I got into the Pistols thing, thanks to this book…and Machine Gun Kelly’s Sid and Nancy - twisted paths. I don’t really like Nancy’s mom - her family’s too straight for me - but she’s a damn good writer. As for Sid, books about him are so fucking hard to find digital - conspiracy? - but one that if you can get your hands on I’d recommend is by Alan Parker, Sid Vicious: No One Is Innocent…it helped inspire a few of the stories I’ve posted here. There’s also England’s Dreaming which is more about the band and the punk movement but I haven’t finished that, so I really can’t recommend it yet.

Hope you guys give some of these books a shot alongside the usual ones…which if you want in a vague list, though I imagine you already know them…I can only recommend the Motley stuff officially, I’m still making my way through the Pistols stuff, but:

- The Heroin Diaries (have read, it’s great, pretty fucking dark though hopeful at the end if you’re feeling good)

- Tommyland (have also read, not entirely sure how I feel about it, though worth a read for perspective’s sake, it is also kind of fun in a dirty way - which is cool sometimes)

- Tattoos & Tequilla (have also read, could have been edited better, I do love the input from all the people in Vince’s life outside the Motley guys though, worth a read)

- The *Infamous* Dirt (can’t decide which I love more, this or THD *affectionate name for The Heroin Diaries* though I’d say this is required reading, especially if you intend to write Mötley stuff, it’ll give you tons of material)

- There’s also a timeline type thing written by Paul Miles (can’t remember what they call it now, but the books are separated by ten year spaces, 80s, 90s and so on), which I’d really only recommend if you’re gonna write stuff about them, it’s really unnecessary otherwise (there are like six of them, I think, I’ve read them all, they’re good for - again - writing material). You can get these through Kindle Unlimited for free, unless you’ve used up your trial. Not that I’m advocating pirates but you can also run it through Calibre and a little drm thing, super easy to Google and do so you don’t have to worry about running out of time.

- This Is Gonna Hurt/The First 21 (these are good, but have a different vibe from The Heroin Diaries, overlap - especially The First 21 - with Nikki’s part in The Dirt).

- Living Like a Runaway (this one’s okay, not strictly necessary, it’s by Lita Ford, who mentions Nikki a couple of times, given the fact that they dated)

For the Pistols Camp, I’m planning to read these:

- Reckless by Chrissie Hynde

- Lonely Boy by Steve Jones

- Rotten by John Lydon

- England’s Dreaming by Jon Savage

Anyway. Not sure this is helpful to anyone. But for anybody wanting to start writing and needing inspiration, something that helps sometimes is figuring out when the person you’re writing about is born (with time too if you can get it) doing the astrology chart thing, reading everything there, then using it in your writing somehow…it feeds the muse. The muse must be fed. Never stop reading.

[percywinchester27]

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-12)

Word count: 5.4K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Feels, pining, fluff ;)

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: I am so excited to see what you think of this chapter! I haven’t made a secret of the fact that this is one of my absolute favorite chapters. I had a lot of fun writing it <3

The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23​​. You are a goddess. I love you <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

Sam regretted it the moment he stepped into the bar. The lights were dim, the music was hip and it was too full of people. What was more, a lot of those faces seemed familiar. Maybe he had seen them around the campus?

Sam found a corner booth, away from the bar counter and the pool table. It was isolated and about as quiet as any table was going to get. He drew out his phone and texted Jody.

“I’m here. Where are you?”

Sighing, he locked the screen on his phone. Sam was beyond exhausted. He had stayed up the night, driven for close to twelve hours in total to and fro from LA, and went cut to cut with one of the fiercest attorneys he had ever met. At least, James was out for good. The look on his face at the sight of Sam had been worth everything. Sam had been so scared that he wouldn’t be able to get the kid out. Now that he had, all he wanted to do was fall in bed and not wake up till Sunday. 

Even as that thought took shape, he knew he was lying to himself. More than anything, he wanted to find Y/N and thank her for her help last night, let her know how the hearing went. If someone at Acton Gris had helped him, he would have taken them along for the hearing because the effort deserved it. A part of him had wanted to ask Y/N. She would be allowed, since she was a law student accompanying the attorney, but Sam didn’t think he could handle being in her presence for so long. Besides, she’d had classes in the morning. Either way, she deserved to know the verdict. He had contemplated emailing her, then thought better of it. Maybe he would drop by at the library to see if it was her shift. It was only 12. The library would be open for at least two more hours.

He banished the thought as quickly as it appeared, though, physically shaking his head. He needed to factor in the consideration that she probably didn’t want to keep running into him all the time.

His phone pinged. It was Jody letting him know that Alex was yet to get home from some party of her own and that she would be late, if she came at all. 

Fantastic. Simply fantastic.

He should have just gone to bed. Being in bars at midnight? He was too old for this. It had been Jody’s idea to begin with! She was the one who had made plans for the weekend and was standing him up now.

“Professor Winchester?”

Sam groaned internally before seeing who had called him. It was a glimmeringly clad freshman from his class. 

Could the evening get any worse? He had to run into his students.

“Ohmygosh! I can’t believe you’re here,” gushed the girl. Sam vaguely remembered that her name was Staten.

The other girl whose name Sam didn’t know at all nodded vigorously. “You’re so cool!”

Both of them were bright eyed and obviously tipsy. That was a combination for trouble if Sam had ever seen one. 

He got up. “Nice to see you ladies,” he said sliding out of the booth. “I’m going to step out for just a second. Y’all have fun.”

“Mr. Winchester,” one of them called, but Sam was out the back door. Few years of teaching had taught him enough in that department. During his early days, years ago, when he first started as a visiting faculty, he would insist that the class call him by his first name. He had been ignorant about how it came across and only after a couple of students had made a pass at him had he grown wary and stuck to being addressed by his last name. It never got less weird, having people address him as ‘Mr. Winchester,’ but he was used to it now.

Stepping outside, Sam breathed in the cold air, wondering again what the hell he was doing here.

He pulled out his phone and dialed Jody.

She picked up on the second ring. “I’m so sorry, Sam!” She apologised profusely. “Alex’s tyre gave out and she’s stranded a couple miles out.”

“Shit. Do you want me to pick her up?”

“No, it’s alright,” she reassured. “She’ll feel awful about you driving out to get her. I’m heading out now. Please just wait a little longer. I feel horrible about keeping you waiting, especially since it was my idea.”

He looked at the watch. It was quarter past twelve. “Jody…” he sighed.

“Okay, wait for just fifteen more minutes,” she bargained. “If I’m not there by then, you can go home and I’ll owe you drinks for the rest of the year.”

“Rest of your life, and we have a deal,” Sam smiled despite himself. “Okay. Fifteen minutes.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” She said, clearly amused. “That’s how you become a good lawyer. Okay, Fine.”

Sam laughed.

“You know I love you, Winchester.”

“I know you do!”

Sam put the phone back in his pocket. He wouldn’t have known what to do with his life if Jody hadn’t stepped in and taught him how to look after another person who was solely dependent on him. She was the best friend and mentor he could have asked for.

He slid back inside the bar, determined to avoid any and each student he saw. Especially the drunk ones. Luck was on his side. The whole freshman gang had moved to the pool table, removed from the main area. This late he would have expected the crowd to thin out, but hoards of people were on the dance floor moving their bodies to the rhythm of the song. Taking advantage of the crowd, Sam went over to the bar counter.

“Jack. Neat!” He asked the woman behind the counter. She had long dark hair and a mischievous smile.

“Coming right up, handsome!” She winked.

Sam smiled awkwardly as she slid the glass.

“Hey, Mister! Repeat this one!”

Sam’s head snapped in the direction of the voice. It was loud and bossy and Y/N’s.

“Y/N?” The bartender in front of him squinted at the girl two benches from him, clearly surprised.

Sam would have moved sooner, but he was awestruck at the sight of her. Y/N was wearing a silky, satiny top that was cut low and clung to her body like a second skin over tight jeans and heeled boots. Her hair cascaded over her bare shoulders like a nymph’s. Sam’s throat went dry.

The bartender rushed over to her. “Christ, Y/N!” she said. “What’re you doing here?”

Y/N looked at her with wide, surprised eyes. “Pam! OH MY GOD, PAM! It’s you! 

“Yes, I work here,” the bartender, whose name was apparently Pam, said. “Rob, how much has she had to drink?”

The guy shrugged. “One vodka, three tequillas. I don’t know about before.”

“Y/N?” Pam patted Y/N’s face. “Are you by yourself?”

“Kinda!” Y/N giggled, tossing her hair back in a smooth flip. Sam’s heartbeat spiked at the sight. He absolutely couldn’t wrench his eyes away.

Y/N bent over the counter, then jerked her thumb at the freshman gang and whispered conspiratorially. “I’m with those guys over there, but I don’t think they care if I wander off. Can I tell you a secret? Most of them are douchebags anyway.”

“Rob!” Pam barked. “Do we have a standby? Rinny? Or just anyone else?”

“It’s just us tonight.”

“Well, fuck!” Pam swore.

“Y/N, honey,” she tried to get Y/N to listen to her, but Y/N was already trying to sit up on the bar, blowing kisses at Pam. “You’re the best, Pam. Just the absolute best and I love how much you love my cookies.”

“Everyone loves your cookies, honey, but you need to get down.”

“Okay… Okay,” Y/N winked. She slipped as she tried to get down from the counter. Reflexively Sam moved, catching her before she crashed to the ground.

“I got you, don’t worry,” he said in a low voice only to her and she looked up at him with wide confused eyes. 

“Hey, get your hands off of her, Mister.” Pam hissed, looking scarily angry. “I said, let go of her. Right now.”

Sam did so immediately, but Y/N didn’t let go of his shirt. “I know her,” he tried to explain to Pam, who looked like she was on the verge of calling the bouncers.

“Yeah, that’s right, you know her,” Pam grimaced. “Very believable.”

“I swear, I know her,” Sam said, wildly trying to explain. “Her name’s Y/N Y/L/N. She’s a law student at the university. First year, hails from Kansas and feels insanely cold.” Sam started spewing random facts he could think of. “Her favourite book is To kill a mockingbird. She bakes amazing muffins-”

She likes her coffee with very little milk, is scared of ducks and has a birthmark in the middle of her lower back. She likes listening to classical music and waking up early…

Meanwhile, Y/N was still looking at him in wonderment, shushing herself.

“How do you know all that about her?” Pam looked at him with suspicion and mingled curiosity.

“I’m her-” it hurt to say- “ her friend.”

She still didn’t look completely convinced.

“Y/N?” Pam asked the girl in Sam’s arms. “You know this man?”

Don’t be that far gone, Sam prayed internally. Please don’t be that far gone.

“Pfftt,” Y/N scoffed, with such force that she lost her footing again. “It’s Sam! I’d sooner forget myself than not know him! What sort of dumb question is this?”

Sam.

She had said his name. It had caressed her lips. Was it even possible to be jealous of your own name?

Pam  raised her eyebrows.

“Look,” she said, “I can’t leave my shift to drop her home and no one I can call will be up this late. Y/N clearly knows you. Do you think you can drop her home?”

“I-I don’t know where she stays!”

Pam quickly wrote down an address. “It’s just a couple blocks away. I’m going to call her cell in a while, so you better not try anything funny.”

Sam wanted to roll his eyes, but he was too terrified at the prospect of being left alone with Y/N. He glanced around to see a couple of looks coming their way.

“Yeah, I’ll take her,” he said finally. “The hangover will hit her hard in a while, it’s better that she’s home then. Trust me, I know.”

Pam took one look from his face to Y/N wrapped around his torso. “Thanks, man.”

He nodded and then slowly guided Y/N out. “C’mon. Let’s get you home.”

“You know where I live?” She asked, tilting her head to one side.

“I do now.” Fortunately or unfortunately it was right next to Sam’s street. 

He adjusted her so that she was tucked under his side. Her fingers were still boldly clutching at his undershirt, sending shocks of sensation throughout his body. 

“This way, c’mon,” He guided her forward.

“Stop pushing me. I. Can’t. Walk. Any. Faster!” She whined. “These shoes suck.”

“Okay, let’s just sit for a while.” He slowly steered her to a bench on the street. It wasn’t right outside the bar, hence, out of clear view. Sam lowered her onto the bench and she promptly pulled her feet up, trying to slide the zipper on her shoes. They honestly looked like a death trap of sorts. The zipper stuck out adamantly as she yanked at it with all her might.

Hands trembling, he caught hold of hers. “Wait. Let me.”

Slowly, with a steadier hand, Sam dragged down the zippers on both her shoes- carefully, to not touch her skin- freeing her feet. She drew into herself, massaging the reddened skin on the arch and the back of her heel. 

“Stupid Meg,” she muttered. “Shouldn’t have let her put me in these.” 

She massaged her toes. “It hurts.”

“Will you let me take a look at it?” He asked hesitantly. Y/N twisted her body and put both her feet straight into his lap. 

“Here! Look all you want.”

Her hair was fluttering lightly in the wind and despite the chill, she wasn’t reaching for the leather jacket. Looking at her was like looking at the sun. He wanted to, but couldn’t, because it hurt at the same time. The satin of her blouse was kissing her soft skin in all the right places.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Y/N teased collusively. She scooted closer, almost sitting completely in his lap now. “Can I tell you a secret? I think about it, too.”

Sam pushed her away lightly and God it hurt to do it, but she wasn’t in her senses right now. Sober, she wouldn’t have wanted any of this.

“We should get you home!” He said in a tight voice.

“No!” She was adamant. “Why are you in such a hurry to get away from me?”

Oh the irony. “You were the one who left me, Y/N.” 

Y/N not having heard a word of it was scooting closer to him again. She laid her head on his shoulder, and snaked her arms around his waist. Sam stilled, not even daring to breathe.

“Let’s just stay here forever. You and me.” She laughed all of a sudden. “This is literally the best dream I’ve ever had. I can actually feel you.” She hugged him tighter to prove her point. “See?”

“Is this what your dreams are made up of?” 

“The good ones, yeah,” she sighed tiredly. “But mostly they’re just bad and I’m cold and there’s so much water, Sam. There was so much water.”

Suddenly she started shivering and Sam pulled the jacket over her shoulders.

She looked up with tears in her eyes. “Sam, the water! And there’s so much glass. It hurts.”

A deep pain and grief that he hadn’t felt in years threatened to swallow Sam whole. “Oh, baby,” he said, at last throwing his arms around her. “It’s not real. It happened a long time ago.”

“I can’t breathe. There’s too much water.” Her words were slow and slurred. Despite that, the picture she painted was horrifying.

The memories all flashed before his eyes like it had happened yesterday. But he refused to go under. Not now.

Sam allowed himself to comfort her and be comforted by her. In this one thing, they were together. He held her as close as he had dreamed for years, yet not truly believing that this was actually happening. She smelled just the same, and the way her body curved into his hadn’t changed at all.

Sam held her like that for an immeasurable time. It felt both like an eternity and mere seconds all at once. A crazed traveller wouldn’t be more desperate for an Oasis than Sam felt for her touch. And knowing that this would end soon, that these were stolen moments made it heaven and hell at the same time.

“Y/N,” he tried again. “We need to get you home.” I need to get you home.

She didn’t reply.

“Are you asleep?”

“Yes!” She muttered and in spite everything Sam had to stifle a laugh. 

She had no footwear on, after getting herself out of those insane shoes. Sam removed his flip flops and slid them under her feet. They were way too big, but it was better than nothing. 

“Up you come.” He hoisted her slowly to her feet.

“Whoa!” She said, “everything is spinning so fast.”

“Just hold on to me. The spinning will go away.” He guided her slowly. “This way now.”

Her grasp on his shoulder slipped, pulling his shirt down with him.

“Oooohhh fancy,” she snickered, trying to touch the thin chain around his neck.

Sam fixed his shirt with the other hand so it wasn’t visible. She didn’t need to know.

It must look absurd, the two of them walking down the street. Sam, barefoot, carrying a pair of her heels in one hand and holding her by the waist with the other. Meanwhile, Y/N was humming lightly to herself, giggling at silly things, slipping and sliding in his flip flops.

At long last, they reached the address that Pam had given. Sam knew the building, he walked past it everyday to get home. The building had a solid, high compound wall, covered in vines. Keeping a tight hold on Y/N, he pushed the wrought iron gate. It creaked as it opened, leaving Sam staring at a beautiful front yard. There was curving shrubbery around the small circular garden and a mermaid shaped fountain flowing water in a circular basin with seating around it.

“Hahahaaa Judgy Judy isn’t too pleased with us,” Y/N told him sagely. “She hates people who drink even more than people who turn up late.”

“Why did you drink anyway?” He asked. “You don’t even like doing it.”

Y/N broke off, stumbling into the path. She glared at him. “Oh, so it’s okay for you to go out on dates with other people but it’s not okay for me to drink?”

That’s what she thought? That he had been in the bar for a date? Was that why she had drank?

Sam’s mind was reeling. If what she was saying was true, it meant that it mattered to her what Sam did or didn’t do with his life. Unless she still cared.

“You really think I would do that?” Abruptly, he was angry. If she cared enough to be mad with him, why had she left him to begin with?

Y/N had already moved on from the conversation. She was staring up at the mermaid’s face.

“Sam? You remember that time we went to the fair and rode the ferris wheel?”

He did remember. “You fainted immediately after.”

“Yeah, this feels exactly like that…” Y/N staggered on the spot and Sam rushed to catch her. The minute his hands found her arm, she threw up spectacularly on the front of his shirt, retching till there wasn’t anything left. Then, she promptly passed out in his arms.

He stood there for a second, looking about him, but no help was going to arrive at 2 in the night.

This was bad, very very bad. He had hoped to drop her home and then go back to his own place to wallow about how unfair the world was. What was he supposed to do now?

He had no clue if she stayed by herself. He couldn’t just leave her by herself when she was sick.

Slowly, he led her to the seating around the fountain. She laid down on it, groaning lightly.  

Sam removed his shirt, bundled it up and using some of the water from the fountain, wiped the puke from his jeans and Y/N’s feet along with his flip flops. Then he bent down and swooped her in his arms, carrying her inside the building. Getting into the lift and to her apartment was easy enough. Wrestling the key out of the purse and then unlocking the door all the while supporting her wasn’t so much.

It was pretty clear to Sam that there was no one else in the apartment when he entered. All that noise would have brought someone out by now. He barely looked at the living room, before laying Y/N down on the sofa there. There was a kitchenette to the right side. Sam poured a glass of water, added a spoon of sugar and a pinch of salt after looking through the jars. He walked back to where Y/N was curled up on the sofa and coaxed her to drink it.

She made a face, refusing to take a sip.

“Trust me, you’ll thank me tomorrow.”

“No.”

She was so stubborn sometimes. “Please? For me?”

“For you?” Her expression was guileless, it was almost his undoing, but Sam pushed on. “Yes, for me.”

She took the glass from him and downed it in one go, distaste clear on her expression.

The phone started ringing right when she put the glass down. Sam had to fish it from her purse. The caller ID read ‘Pamela Barnes.’

“Here,” Sam handed the phone to Y/N. “It’s for you.”

“Hello!” She sang. “Yeah, yeah… I’m home…”

Sam didn’t hang around for the rest of the conversation. He returned the glass to the kitchen and made more of the Sugar-salt solution in a bottle.

Y/N was idly playing with a lock of her hair.

“Can we go to bed now? Please?” She mumbled drowsily.

“You,” Sam stressed “are going to bed. Which one is your room?”

Sleepily, she pointed towards the door next to the kitchenette. He lifted her once more in his arm, thinking how bizarre all of this was as he walked towards the room. It felt nothing short of euphoric to hold her like this, like he was on some sort of wild once in a lifetime adventure, even if touching her like this used to be normal for him once upon a time. He gently laid her down on the bed. She stretched out on the sheets immediately, a smile on her lips.

He could have stared and stared. Sam decided to take one long look at her, memorising the exact color of her hair, the fullness of her lips and the rhythm of her breaths. Just as he turned to leave, Y/N’s hand shot out to grab the hem of his T-shirt.

“Why? Why did it happen to us?” She said, her face drawn in lines of anguish. “We were good people. You still are. Then, why?”

Sam took a deep breath. “Because life isn’t fair. You of all people should know that by this point. And I’ve hardly been a good person since.” 

“Shhhhh….” She put a finger to her lip. “You’re the best, Sam. You always have been.”

“Then why did you leave me? Why couldn’t you trust me enough to stay? Have enough faith in me to know that I could make it okay for us? I loved you more than anything, Y/N. And you left me anyway.” He knew full well that she wouldn’t remember a thing in the morning, she was barely even listening now. So how did it matter what he said?

“Don’t go,” she moaned. 

“Y/N… you know I can’t stay.”

“Please… Nothing’s right when you’re not here.”

In an odd twisted way, it was the truth. Nothing was right when she wasn’t with him.

“Please, Sam,” she sighed. “Don’t leave me. Promise me.”

He gave in. How could he not? “I promise,” he said finally. “I’ll stay tonight.” 

She smiled contentedly and her breathing evened out soon after.

Slowly, Sam disentangled his t-shirt from his grip.

In the bathroom, he washed his bundled up shirt, cleaning it completely, then used it to wash off whatever was left on his jeans and t-shirt. Thankfully, Y/N’s clothes hadn’t been spoilt and didn’t need any cleaning. The apartment had a beautiful balcony that overlooked the garden below. He hung his shirt on the railing to dry it in the breeze. 

Sam checked on Y/N once more under the guise of placing the water bottle next to her bed. She was splayed wildly now. The straps of her blouse had slid further down her arm, revealing the tops of her breasts. He looked away. As lightly as he could, Sam freed the covers from beneath her and drew them over her, tucking her comfortably underneath them. Then he made his way to the living room sofa, closing Y/N’s bedroom door after her. 

The sofa was much too small to accommodate him, but Sam managed to lie on his back, legs folded and body wedged between the two armrests. After a while of twisting and turning, he rested his head on one armrest and threw his legs over the other, staring at the apartment walls and decorations. Most of it was too delicate, like the filigree on the curtains and the carved screens dividing part of the kitchenette from the rest of the living room. That certainly wasn’t Y/N’s taste. Either it came with the apartment or her room mate had put it there. There were some things, however, that were distinctly Y/N- the flowers and plants in the balcony, the solid wood coffee stand and the classy oven. The little China decorating the kitchen bar must’ve been her grandmothers. Nothing… absolutely nothing in the house proved that he had ever played a part in her life. Sam decidedly curbed the disappointment and bitterness he felt.

So, she had moved on from him. Hadn’t the past month taught him as much? 

A month ago he wouldn’t have believed that he’d end up a room away from a very drunk Y/N. So close, yet so far. He closed his eyes, recalling how it felt to have her arms around his waist, feel the press of her body against his as he lifted her in his arms. He could live out the rest of his life holding onto those memories, even if it never happened again, even if she never remembered it…

“Who the fuck are you?”

Sam’s eyes snapped open. A girl was standing over him with a ferocious expression.

He sat up groggily, disoriented about his surroundings. Who was this girl?

“I asked who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my apartment?”

Sam groaned, blinking his eyes in the still dark room. “I’m Sam. I helped Y/N home last night.”

“Where’s she? Is she okay?” 

The shift in her tone was sudden, from angry to concerned.

“Yeah, she’s fine,” Sam yawned. “She just had too much to drink.”

“And how do you know her?”

“I’m her- “ It physically ached to not say it. “I’m her… friend.”

The girl, who Sam assumed was her roommate, Meg, raised an eyebrow. “Friend, huh? How come she’s never talked about you before?”

Because she doesn’t care anymore.

Suddenly Sam was very tired. “Look, I’ve known her since a long time. We lost touch a while ago. I met her at college.”

Meg didn’t seem very convinced. She harrumphed and crossed her arms.

“I’m going to head out, now that you’re back,” he said, standing up and straightening his back. It was completely screwed. He walked over to the balcony and retrieved his now dried shirt. Meg eyed it dubiously.

“You didn’t try anything with her, did you?”

Again, the irony of someone else being concerned that he of all people would try to harm Y/N twisted his mouth into a bitter smirk.

“Look, mister…” Meg started and Sam put his hands up. He was too exhausted to hold this argument. 

“I just put her to bed. That’s all,” he said. “Heads up, she has terrible hangovers. You might want to keep the bathroom accessible and the Advil ready.”

With that he stalked out of the room. 

It wasn’t a long walk to his home from there, barely even five minutes, but Sam’s head was buzzing with thoughts. Last night everything had been so hurried and he was the only one who could have helped her out. But what now?

He and Y/N had barely started talking. He still didn’t know what was going on in her head. Last night had changed all of that, at least for him. If it had been hard to not think about her before, it was damn well impossible now. She was consuming his every thought, shadowing every emotion. What if she remembered everything she had said last night? What if she’d actually meant those things?

“Don’t go” 

“Please… Nothing’s right when you’re not here.”

“Please, Sam, Don’t leave me. Promise me.”

Each time his name had fallen off her lips, it was like she was resurrecting his long dead heartbeat. He wanted to dare, he wanted to hope and believe that there was some chance.

But what if she didn’t remember anything at all? Sam knew that he would die inside if that happened. It was one thing to not feel hope, and another altogether to kill it with one's own hands. 

His mind was a cacophony of noises and emotions all warring against each other as he reached his house. On the door steps, sat a solitary figure, waiting for him.

“Jody?”

The sky was just starting to lighten. What was she doing here?

He frowned at her, wondering what on earth could have brought her here this early in the morning. She stared back evenly; there was none of the usual warmth in her eyes, instead they were full of distrust and disappointment.

“Jody, is everything okay?” 

“You tell me, Winchester,” she said, coming to stand right next to him, her stature severe.

“I-I don’t know what you mean.”

“Really?” She spat. “Don’t you think you’ve been acting differently? At first I thought, being by yourself was getting to you.”

“Jody, I seriously don’t understand.”

“Fine I’ll cut to the chase. Where were you last night?”

It was the last thing Sam had expected. He couldn't tell her the truth. Where would he even start with the truth? “I was-”

She raised her hand and Sam flinched at the hostile expression on her face. “Save it, Sam. I know exactly what you were doing last night. I saw you sitting on the bench outside the bar with that girl.”

Sam jerked upright.

“I’ve known you for years, Sam. Years. I taught you everything I knew. I’ve never been prouder of any student I’ve had and this is what you do with all that trust? This is how you abuse your power?”

Her words rang louder than they should have in Sam’s ears. “Jody-”

“Don’t even try to make excuses. At first, when I saw her in your office, I didn’t think anything of it. Sure, she looked close to tears, but a lot of freshmen are always anxious. But then I saw you in the library with her. The way you looked at Y/N? That’s not how a teacher looks at their student!” Jody looked disgusted. “And tonight? Y/N was clearly drunk, for Christ’s sake! How can you possibly justify the way you were holding her?”

“Because she’s my WIFE!” He shouted, breathing hard, feeling the heat coming off of his face. “I married her and I love her!” 

It was beyond cathartic to finally say those words out loud. Up until this point Sam hadn’t realised that since he had seen Y/N in his class, those very words had been strangling him, poisoning him. Now that he had finally said them, the strength in his legs gave away. He sat down on the steps with a thud.

Jody’s face had gone very white. “Sam…”

“Tonight was nothing more than me helping a girl who needed it. Nothing more than that,” he said through gritted teeth, blinking rapidly at the wetness on his lashes. “You know I respect you, Jody, but even you don’t get to tell me if I can hold my own wife.”

She sat down next to him, now at a complete loss of words. “Is this the same girl…?”

Sam nodded, unable to form words.

“Sam, I’m so sorry,” she said, drawing him close. “I didn’t know. You should have said something.”

“Said what?” He said through a thick throat, angry with himself for showing weakness now when he had held it together for so long. “That my wife who walked out on me years ago because she didn't trust me to save our marriage is suddenly back? As my student after six years? Is that what I should have declared when I didn’t even know if she wanted to see my face? Is that what I should’ve said?”

“Oh, you sweet boy. I’m so sorry,” Jody ran her hands over his shoulders. “Sorry that you’ve been suffering and sorry that I doubted you at all. You don’t need to say anything now. C’mere.”

Firmly she drew him towards her and threw her arms around his neck. Sam hugged back, closing his eyes tightly so that the tears rolled over into the cotton of her shirt.

“Shhhh…” she said. “It’s going to be alright.”

Sam didn’t know if there was any truth in her words, but he allowed himself to be comforted, allowed himself to draw some warmth from his oldest friend here. Allowed himself to start healing.

**************************  

A/N 2: *Wiggles eyebrows* Who all saw it coming? ;)

PLEASE let me know what you think of this story?

If you want be tagged, you can send me an ask or add yourself to the taglist here.

Or here’s my side blog @percywinchester27-writes. You can give that blog a follow and turn the notifications on to know about updates.

GIF Credit (It wouldn’t let me put it before the cut :/)

ALLU taglist

@feelmyroarrrr  @gabavaldman​  @im-a-light-child​  @cosicas-cuquis​  @bllyjianne​  @hoboal87​  @i-is-for-inspiring​  @daughterleftbehind​  @wackiekebab​  @mylovelydame21​   @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba​  @superbadassnatural​  @bellastellaluna​  @babypink224221​  @badlittlehabit99​  @anathewierdo​  @sams-bubblegum-bitch​  @damn-it-now-im-obsessed  @fandomoverdose666​  @superstarmarvel​  @atc74​  @aiofheavenandhell​  @rebel-author-chick​  @death-unbecomes-you​  @cookiechipdough​  @kbl1313​  @linki-locks11​  @miss-nerd95​  @sunflowers-n-rocknroll​  @stoneyggirl​  @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​

[sinsbymanka]

1, 7, and 11 for the meta writer's, but let's change 11 to "love" and not "envy" because comparison is the thief of joy and we ain't about that.

Thank you so much friend <3 <3 

Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

I’ve got several so I’m going to talk about the one I just stopped typing on and answer with other projects if I get this question again. I’ve got about 11k of a story written called “Compassion and an Assassin.” It’s actually a Cole/Bea Cadash story. It’s set in the same universe as Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Maria Cadash/Solas/Varric post-Trespasser polycule fix-it.

Compassion and an Assassin is set during DA: Inquisition and immediately post-Inquisition main game (before Trespasser). It will follow Bea Cadash, Maria’s sister, and her quest for revenge against the Carta and unlikely romance with Cole. It’s going to clock in at about 15 chapters and we’ve got three written - but I won’t start publishing until I’ve got 8 ready to go. 

I love it because it’s a departure on characters for me. Bea Cadash is fucking pissed off, and she’s got a right to be. I have struggled personally to express and handle my anger because I suppress a lot to be “acceptable” so writing a character that does not give a shit about how much her anger scares people is really freeing. Also I’m interspersing bits of Cole’s POV throughout and writing in Cole’s POV is so much fun (and a little challenging!) 

What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

I think my one trademark is angst in the ridiculous. This is something I do very often and I think it still hasn’t lost it’s “oh shit” impact. For example: 

Solas interrupting a child’s tea party in Cheating the Dread Wolf and being forced to stay for frilly cakes. Objectively, hilarious. UNTIL I break out the “what’s gonna happen to my daughter when you end the world as we know it?” conversation.

OR 

In Don’t Make it Hawkeward, Hawke pretends to have sex with Varric in a tent. Fake moaning. Giggling. Veiled threats. All fun and games until Varric suddenly realizes he actually wants to have sex with Hawke. Then we’ve got an oh shit moment. 

I don’t know if I see other people do this as often as I do. It’s probably a dirty trick - pulling the rug out from your readers before you punch them in the gut - but I love it and I’m sorry in advance. 

What do you love in other writers?

I agree! Let’s talk about what we love in authors. I’m gonna fucking spotlight some bitches in this one. 

@blarfkey has the smoothest style I’ve ever fucking seen. Everything flows so easily - dialogue feeding into emotion feeding into action. It’s never clunky. It’s like magic, or like swallowing really expensive tequilla. She’s got the good shit. 

@kunstpause probably manages to pack the most characterization into her fics of anyone I’ve ever seen. Every character’s personality, mannerisms, thoughts, and feelings are exquisitely and painstakingly portrayed. Like. you can tell she loves her characters. 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Tequilla and Autumn Sunsets (Favored Ones, Part 9.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Part Summary: So far, everything seemed to be good - you were happy with the thing Joel and you had, Jackson was keeping you busy and you were even talking to your friends again... Until one patrol came and everything seemed to change, making the cycle start once again. 

A/N: And I oop-

Warnings: Mentions of smut, violence, murder and guns.

Word count: 4.2 K

Tagging:  @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme​ @peakymarvels​ @davnwillcome​ @pickleriiick​ @jodiereedus22​ @gladiosamicitias​ @tamkashi​ @eternallyvenus​ @avengerssstuff​ @fangirl-inthe-us

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

The fall of 2037, 5-4 months before the incident:

In the end, it wasn't as hard to make things work as you thought it would be. When you weren't in the mood, you just found a while to tell him. When he wanted you to come to stay the night, he told you. It wasn't even that hard or weird - sometimes, he just stopped by your shop to tell you, sometimes you just told him while having a casual talk when you met in town, and no-one was suspicious of you two talking. You did that before you were weird with each other - why shouldn't you do that when things were ok?

Joel showed you and taught you many things you didn't know about sex or yourself before - for example, what a doggy style means. Or that you can take cock much deeper in your throat that you initially thought.

Yeah, sure it was a long process and it was the try-and-see kinda thing, but Joel was the best person you could choose for this matter. Sometimes, when you weren't exactly feeling like fucking, you stayed up late, just drawing the curtains in his room while he learned you some more guitar songs. Or he was willing to sit through a movie with you - he especially liked these dumb 80s' ones, but you couldn't deny they're quite amusing to watch. The things were just like you were used to them - you joked around a lot, you laughed and had some good fun.

You didn't see each other every day. These sessions, which was a code name you came up with, were quite physically challenging at times. So when you or Joel had some stuff to deal with or you simply weren't in the mood, you didn't meet up for that day and once even for a week.

Diego somehow couldn't understand your sudden shift in behavior - before Joel asked you to see him again, you were affectionate with the boy, spending as much time as you could with him. But after that? He barely saw you. And it wasn't just him - even Dina and Ellie noticed that you're not spending as much time with them as you used to. But both of the ladies just dismissed as you being having too much stuff at the moment. Which was also true.

Tommy and Maria kept each of you properly busy. Sure, there were regular patrols and these where you had to take a random kiss from the group with you, but as the winter was coming by, there was more stuff to do - helping with harvesting the veggies, taking care of animals, occasionally even helping out with the pottery or sewing new clothes. It was almost November when you decided to visit Eve again, bringing her the last blossoming flowers you could find.

"Hey there." - You whispered, sitting down on your jacket while you looked at the tombstone. - "How you've been, hm?" - You asked, smoothing the leaves and other stuff out of the grave. When you were alone for almost a minute, you knew it's your time to speak up again. - "Geez, you can't shut up sometimes, huh? Let me talk too, man." - You laughed nervously. It was still strange not having her around to make fun of her, but you hoped that she's better now. Also, you could talk about Joel openly, and that wouldn't be possible if she would have an actual chance to respond.

"I am seeing this one guy. You would be weirded out, but its Joel fucking Miller. Weird, right? I can't quite process it myself if I have to be honest with you." - You giggled, leaning your cheek into your knee as you watched her name craved into the gray stone. - "But he's treating me nice, with respect. When I don't like something, all I have to do is tell him, you know? I trust him, I would say. He asks about how I'm doing even though he doesn't have to." - You smiled and looked at the grass.

You should've seen that there's something off about the whole thing way before you saw it. It was hard to determine what made you feel things such as these - if it were the nicknames he was giving you, or the stares he was watching you with or the warm approach to the whole situation. It happened a long time - you falling for the man. You just didn't know at the moment - your head was too distracted with too much of good fucking.

"When we were just laying there one night, he asked me about you and listened to every single shit I told him. It was nice. And I hadn't even cried during it, which is a big win, right?" - You sighed with a shy smile, hearing the first thunder in the distance. Well, at least you didn't have to go for a patrol that day. Or, so you thought until you saw Maria slowly walking to the grave with her palms behind her back. She waved at you and you waved back, not telling a word until she reached you.

"Hey." - She whispered, sitting down next to you as well. You smiled back, still looking at the tombstone. - "You weren't at home or Ellie's, so I figured out you'll be here."

"Did something happen?" - You asked back, being visibly alarmed at the moment. Maria shook her head quickly to assure that no matter the situation she had for you, it wasn't as bad as it sounded.

"It's just... Can I ask you something? I know you've been patrolling almost every day last week..." - She sighed. The matter was embarrassing. You were out of Jackson for almost every day now, each day taking a different route, yet she had to come and ask you. - "But Tommy had caught some cold or what and he's having a fever. And since he's in pair with Joel, he asked me to ask you if you'd be so kind and take this one. He told me 'ask that kiddo, 'cause she's probably the only one who ain't havin' tendencies to murder my brother while he sleeps'. Like... He told me he's good to go, but... And don't want to ask Ellie and you know Tommy." - Yeah, of fucking course you knew Tommy. He was probably even more hot-headed and mulish than his older brother at times. And the bit about murdering Joel? That wasn't too hard to believe either since he had the reputation of basically bullying down everyone when Ellie was about to leave Jackson. It was quite unbelievable, but these Miller boys were quite hard to get along with at moments.

You were fucking tired, to be honest, but you wouldn't Tommy go if he was ill. That would worry the shit out of Maria and you didn't like her when she was scared or worried. She was even more bossy, rude, and straightforward than normal. So you nodded.

"Of course, I won't let his sick ass to go on a patrol. Especially in this weather." - You looked at the iron clouds above you. The blonde woman sighed with relief, smoothing your palm with her while she closed her eyes.

"You're the best. I'll make Seth prepare you some extra tasty snack on your way, okay?" - She asked, getting up to leave again. You stayed there for a little longer, looking at Eve.

"Stop laughing up there, I can hear it down here. That's just my luck, you know?" - Just as always, you kissed the tips of your fingers, smoothing the cold stone. - "Take care. I'll see you again, okay?" - With that, you put the jacket on your shoulders, leaving to get your backpack. As usual, put the empty automatic gun there, a water bottle and in the end, you swung your bow and quiver of your shoulder. When you saw the damn weather, you packed another sweatshirt with you. A storm was about to start soon - which you could hear at the stables as well. The horses were far from calm, but Sadie got better once you smoother her neck and gave her an apple. Joel came there soon after you, having these small devils in his eyes. But to tell him nothing ain't happening on the patrol, you shook your head and as usual, the man calmed down immediately. It was nice to have someone who listened to you.

"Have the food and ammunition, I hope we'll get it done before it starts to rain." - Joel told you when you were leading your horses away in the direction of the gate.

"I doubt it. This route is pretty long and off-hand. But who knows?" - You smiled gently and sat on the horse's back. The patrol was fine - you were talking through the most of it, trying to fill the void on the road. You were barely three hours away from Jackson when you noticed it. There was a fire in the woods - but not a wild one. You let the horses on remnants of an asphalt road between a few houses, walking the rest on foot.

Joel saw them first, pulling them down to hide in the tall grass. You observed them for a moment, trying to make out if they were friendly or not. That was decided at the moment when you have seen a few dead bodies lying just a few meters away from them - that was the fire. The sweet smell was making you sick, but Joel put his hand on your shoulder, making you focus.

"I'll go in and try to take them out silently. Do you remember your way with the bow?" - He asked you. For a moment, you were just looking him in the face - these people killed other people. Which you'd be able to understand under some situations... But they were burning their bodies now. Which made your stomach turn upside down. - "Hey, no panic now, focus here. Right here." - The man whispered, catching your jaw in his palm. - "Do you remember it? I need you right now."

Finally, you nodded to answer the question. After that, Joel loaded his revolver for all the cases, giving you a magazine as well. He turned at you one last time before he finally sneaked off to take an upper hand on the situation. - "Good girl. Just stay with me until we done, 'kay?"

You nodded, this time to support and hype yourself up. Joel put his trust in you. You could do it. You trained for this - and you couldn't let Joel alone in this at all. Slowly, you moved into a good potion, hitting one of your palms with a rock. The pressure almost made your head pop since you thought they'll know about you, they didn't even notice - yet another thought crossed your mind. Distraction. Joel needed a distraction. So you picked the rock up and threw it off to a distance. It caused some noise that made the men turn around. There was four of them as it turned out when they started to inspect the situation around.

After a while, you saw Joel pinning one of them down, dragging him to the grass as he choked him. Your time to do something. A long breath left your breath as you positioned yourself, looking at one of the guys. What the fuck were you doing? This wasn't right. Maybe you and Joel could talk it out with them? Bullshit, they had a fireplace from a pile of dead bodies. They were a threat to you, Joel, and potentially to Jackson. You had to do it. It took you a long time to aim because you were shaking like crazy, but in the end, your arrow didn't miss its target - it ended up in his the guys head, and watched him as he fell straight to the fire along with other bodies. He was dead at the moment you did it. You were a fucking murderer. You killed a non-infected.

Sure, you were realizing you've just killed someone for the first time, but the adrenaline rush inside you, and the fear for Joel, was way stronger than that. Also, these bitches could notice where did that arrow come from, so it was a matter of time before they'd find you. And you were so terrified you couldn't move. For a second, you closed your eyes and prayed to God to be merciful and let them kill you fast without any fuckery around. Just when one of the guys was about to approach you, Joel caught the other remaining one, circling his forearm around the man's neck. - "Stop where you are and hands in the air." - Your old man ordered calmly, throwing the guy's gun on the ground, putting his revolver to his temple. When the other guy didn't listen and still aimed at Joel, Joel defused the gun.

"I ain't playin', son. Throw the gun on the ground right fuckin' now." - In horror, you listened to two shots being fired. With a cry, you jumped on the guy's back, stabbing his throat with your arrow again and again. You couldn't stop yourself - even when you were both already on the ground and his head was cut off of his body, you continued. You just continued with stabbing him as you cried. He shot Joel. You were too afraid to look if your man was alright, so you just sat on that guy's chest, finally giving in to the urge to cry. You were terrified of yourself.

You practically collapsed on the dead body, having a full-blown panic attack. At that moment, you felt someone's arm circling your chest, pulling you off. You tried to stab them as well, but firm hold on your palm made you realize it's Joel. A shaky breath left you as you gave in into the touch, having the man rock you from side to side.

"You're good, girl. You're good. You're good." - He whispered and hugged you even tighter. At that moment, a rumble of thunder shook the ground, and rain started to fall heavily. But you couldn't even move. All you were capable of was to climb deeper into Joel's arms while you cried. - "Lemme get you outta here girl, come on." - The man hummed into your hair, lifting you off of the ground.

Never, not even when you left the Fireflies, have you killed someone. At least not someone healthy. What the fuck have you done? What did you do? In the middle of Joel making your way to the houses, you jumped off and ran to puke the fuck out into the grass. You felt fucking sick. This was something so disgusting. You've just taken another person's life. One of your palms was leaning into a wall of one of the houses as you stood there, cried and puked. It didn't matter that you're soaking wet already - the rain couldn't wipe away what you've done, the blood was soaked into your clothes and even if you managed to get the blood off of your palms, it was still there, hot and sticky between your fucking fingers. Joel understood what you were doing through - he was the same when it was his first time.

But he knew that he has to get you out of the rain before it will be too late, you could catch tome flu or something like that. And he also knew that worse demons will find a way into your head once you'll think you've solved the matter for good.

"I need you to get inside the house. Can you do that for me?" - He came to you and smoothed your back gently. It took you a moment to nod. - "I'll brin' the horses in and come to you, 'kay? Just wait for me there."

You both did as you agreed on. Your way to the houses was rough - the ground around you was shaking and spinning, your knees felt almost too weak. Joel led the horses inside the garage and found you collapsed on the ground in front of the doorstep when he entered the front door. You were snuggled into a tight position, rocking yourself from side to side. You were pressing your head between your knees to find some relief, but none was coming.

Quickly, he prepared you a place to lay on, took the jacket off his shoulders before coming back to you. Just like the first time, you've almost attacked him before realizing who he was.

"Come with me, girl." - He mumbled quietly, helping you in your feet. Before he shifted his attention to you, he made sure that the doors and windows are closed - you were even so lucky to find a place with a fireplace, so at least, he started a fire. First, he took the clothes covered in blood off of you, putting your wet sweatshirt on your upper body. It was better than nothing. Then, he laid you down on the big couch, lying next to you so he copied your body with his before he covered you both with the wet sleeping bag.

You were shivering. And a feeling of being cold was taking over your body. Yet your brain kept on replaying you what you've just done. - "Attagirl." - The man mumbled, nuzzling his face to the nape of your neck before he kissed it. - "You're with me now. These guys won't hurt you."

With that, you turned to him, putting your palm over his side. Your faces were just inches from each other, so he could feel the rhythm of your warm breath gently breezing over his face. - "Am I a terrible person? I mean, what if he had a family? Kids? What if we misread the situation?" - With that, Joel could tell that you're shaken to your core.

It was more than understandable. If you'd be living in the old world, you'd never have to think about killing someone. That thought would probably never cross your mind if the world wasn't completely fucked up. And until that day, you never had a reason to kill a human being. Infected? Sure, he saw you killing infected. But to know it were normal, thinking, breathing living persons, that was a serious lot.

"I would talk to 'em if they weren't burnin' other bodies. These people weren't good ones, 'kay? You've done it for me." - There wasn't much more to say. In any way, no matter how hard would Joel try, he couldn't tell you anything to make you feel at least a bit better. With closed you nodded, finally closing your eyes.

"Will you sing something for me? Just like you did back then?" - You whispered, giving in to the feeling of Joel's palm smoothing your shoulder. Of course, he did sing for you. And this time, it wasn't some Johnny Cash song. You remembered this one - it was one of the songs he played for you when you sat at the bonfire.

To be honest, you fell asleep pretty quick - you were tired, every inch of your muscles hurt and the pain in your eyes was too great to open them. The man stayed up for another hour, watching small spasms and furrows changing in your face. The sleep sure as hell wasn't peaceful. Yet when he was sure that you'll sleep for at least a while, he took a quick nap next to you as well.

The smell of the burning wood had woken you up. It wasn't exactly the burning wood, but the smoke of the fire ending was tickling your nose so bad you had to sneeze. Fortunately, it didn't wake Joel up. When you opened up your eyes, you expected to see his face just inched away from yours, so you gently picked up your head, feeling the muscles on your neck and back hurt. It took you a few more winks to realize that you have a clear view of the fireplace. Joel was laying on his back with one of his palms used as a pillow, his other arm pulled over your shoulder.

Sure, it was pretty normal to sleep next to each other at that point, sometimes having his arm or leg thrown over your body, but you had never slept anywhere near to something like that... All snuggled up to each other. There was a contained smile on Joel's lips, even though he was asleep. And if you'd be okay, it would make you lose your shit for real.

But you just laid down again, watching the dying fire. It was just like being stuck in some kind of a cycle - there was a time you felt numb, not alive at all. This came after something happened - when you ran away from Salt Lake City or when you watched Harry getting eaten alive, the day Maria came to your home to tell that Eve didn't make it... And that evening as well. When you got over the bad phase, there was something you could call being lifeless. It were the days when all you could do was to lay down in your bed, look into the ceiling, thinking about your life. And when you'd get through this, you'll slowly get better as the time would pass. Just to wait before another thing comes and brings you down, repeating the cycle over and over again.

Joel was most likely right. He was living in this world for a lot longer than you were - he knew a lot of things you had no idea about. For example, the forearm which was holding you close and warm could suffocate someone. He also was very really haunting when he was holding one the gen as a hostage. How could the man who was calling you girl in the warmest tone of voice, the one who was playing guitar for you and the man who was fucking you like there was no tomorrow - how could he kill someone with such calmness?

The men certainly weren't good. They could be hunters - people you've never encountered, you've only learned about them from Joel and Eve, sometimes Ellie told you her stories about this kind of people. That would explain why they were burning naked bodies of people... But... What if they caught some sort of illness? What if the people were their friends and they had to kill them? Why didn't you try to talk with them? Maybe you didn't have to go in as hotheaded as you did.

At that moment, there were two people inside your head having a big argument - one of them thought about the thing you have done was straightaway bad, no excuses could explain what you did. ON the other hand, there was the other one, the cold one, was telling you that these people would fire a bullet to your forehead as soon as they'd see you approaching.

With a long sigh, you closed your eyes once again as you hugged Joel tighter, pulling yourself so tight you copied every inch of his body. This was helping at least a tiny bit. For the first time when the cycle had restarted, you didn't feel completely alone. There was someone you could pull yourself closer to feel at least a bit safe.

"How you feelin'?" - A raspy voice asked you just as Joel had woken up. Even when you were both up, he hadn't taken his arm off of your shoulder - actually, his palm started to draw small patterns there. Joel still kept his eyes closed and it could be seen that he's feeling completely contained at the moment. Which seemed weirdly off rails, but you decided to ignore it.

"I feel... Nothing." - You answered quietly, slowly getting up. This felt too emotional. Sure, it was probably just to keep you feeling at least a bit good and away from going coo-coo. And it worked just as he expected it to.

"Give it a few days, it'll settle down. You'll be good, trust me." - Joel mumbled and watched you getting food from Seth out of your backpack before sitting down to look at the dying fire. - "What made you conclude this?" - You asked and gulped.

"You're a survivor. Just like Ellie is, just like Jesse is... And just like I am." - He answered shortly, letting the silence to take over the situation you got there at the moment. Just like the last time you were on a patrol with Joel, everyone could tell that something went off rails as soon as they saw you in the distance. You were both late, and your trousers were covered in dried blood.

Ellie was patiently waiting for you in front of the stables to ask you about what has happened when Joel pulled you back a bit, looking you in the face. - "Do you want me to come today?" - He whispered. It was a nice offer, but you shook your head nonetheless. - "I'll see you... When I'll feel better, okay?" - You whispered back, having him nod with a neutral expression, and with that, you watched him leaving for home, not entirely sure what to feel anymore.

[natebuzzlover344]

First of all, i’m sorry for my english and grammar. And this is a chapter of one of my wattpad stories named “Cliché”

It’s a Mitch Rapp fanfiction, if you like it i will continue to translate it in english.

I don’t own this gif (take it from pinterest)

I stand in front of the mirror looking at my sad reflex. My skin is whiter than milk, and the dark circles around my eyes look awful to me, the redness of the bruise around my eyes has been pierced by small thin veins.

I'm in a tough, tough time. I do not feel well. It was as if all evil had come upon me. I take a foundation with two shades darker from the cherry blush on the table. I need to have a little color, I look like a corpse.

I pour a few drops into my palms and start stretching in front of me. My blue eyes, like the sea, watched as my face began to come to life.

At just twenty-three, my embers-black hair begins to turn white at the roots. The stress is too great. I'm surrounded by people, but I feel lonely. Empty inside.

After applying a layer of mascara on my long lashes, I get up from my chair and take my red dress off the bed.

The bitter taste of sadness is the only aroma I have been feeling for more than three years. The judgment of the people around me depresses me, as if cutting me in the flesh.

My name is Jenna Lockwood and I'm probably the most fake person you've ever met.

After I put on the dress, I look in the mirror and struggle to smile. The red dress fit perfectly on my waist, and the square neckline highlighted my golden necklace, received as a gift from a good friend. I untie my hair and let it fall, reaching close to my hips.

Now that I'm ready, it's time to leave for a new white night in which I will hide my sadness and insecurities behind a mask. White Nights for black days.

I walk in the door of the club excited by the colorful strobe lights and the catchy music that sings so loud it seems to shake the club. The smell of liquor and expensive perfume was all that pleased my nasal senses. People dancing perfectly to the music, lovers making obscene signs without inhibitions, drunks and drunks falling on the stairs in the bathroom, that's my world. The world without prejudices.

I make room using my elbows through the crowd to reach the bar on the side of the club. It seems that the handsome blonde with long hair up to his ears was working hard flaming a few glasses.

“Ohoo, my man!” I yell at him to hear the music and I lean over the bar to clap with him.

He has been my friend since childhood, somehow our friendship lasted despite the years. Although he does not agree with my lifestyle, he understands my pain and respects my decisions.

"Lanna, I thought you'd miss the party!" Michael replies with a wide smile on his face.

The blonde returns to take the bottle of bacardi, already knowing what I usually order, but tonight I thought of drinking something new.

"Why don't you make me a margarita?" I ask, raising both my eyebrows.

Michael smiles at me and takes a glass of daisy from his stand, then greases the top of the glass with water, then dips it in salt and then pours tequila and triple dry.

I could already feel salivating seeing the beautiful pale green liquid poured into the glass. To make matters worse, Michael squeezes another lemon and hands me my glass.

I take the money out of the black envelope but Michael stops me.

“You know the start is from me!” he says friendly.

“ I always forget, some interesting people?” I ask, sipping my glass.

"About that, I understand that friends of the owner will be coming tonight, some dubious ones, be careful ..." Michael informed me, looking around.

I nod and offer a kiss on the cheek. I wink at them, then walk away to the bar and join the crowd of people dancing as if there were no more tomorrow.

I begin to move to the rhythms of the song Feel so close, occasionally sipping from my glass. The taste of tequilla caresses my taste buds.

A tall man with an enviable athletic body had appeared in front of me. He wore a black T-shirt and a pair of jeans of the same color, torn, accessorized with a chain. His beard was a little overgrown, and his hair was quite long with a gorgeous brown.

I approached the charming man in the rhythm of the dance, putting the glass of daisies around his neck, then leaving it on a nearby table.

The mysterious brunette moved in decline with me, giving me a small smile. He wasn't the kind of boy you'd see everywhere, he had a unique face that stood out from the rest of the males around here. The rhythm of the music pushed me closer and closer to him.

I took the opportunity to look at him closely and feel my amber-colored eyes soften in his eyes, not to mention the small drops of honey that were hiding in his iris.

“I've never seen you here and believe me I come very often!” I whisper in his ear to hear the music.

“It’s the first time, this pleace is awesome!” He replied very excited.

The guy grabs my hand and spins me around, and with a strong pull I get to stick my chest tightly to his. I notice a few strands of hair settling over his eye so I reach for his hand and place his hair on his back.

It had been a while since we had been dancing, the songs seemed to change from second to second.

The rest of the evening I felt like in a story. I danced until I felt my sandals tighten and the kamikaze shots flowed incessantly around our necks. I was at the entrance of the club, the cool summer breeze drying the drops of water that flowed on my body. The handsome brunette takes a pack of cigarettes from his jeans pocket, then carries a cigarette with an orange filter in his mouth.

"My name is Lanna, I think you should know that we've been dancing for more than five hours," I say sarcastically.

“I’m Mitch, very glad to meed you, ma’ lady” he say very charming.

I watched him curiously as he drew so pathetically from the cigarette that it was almost over. It seemed to me that he was stressed, I had never seen anyone smoke a cigarette so quickly.

As soon as he throws the cigarette in the ashtray, he lights another cigarette. The silence of the night put me back in my bitter thoughts, I didn't want peace anymore. The silence depresses me. I stared blankly under the starry sky, searching for a lifeline in my own thoughts.

"Look up!" he tells me with a smile.

His voice instantly woke me from my thoughts, as if it were a crack that pulled me out of my trance.

I conform quickly and feel him wipe the underside of my eye with his fingertips.

"Your mascara had spread," he announced, smiling.

"Oh, thank you," I say through gritted teeth.

I look back at a fixed point and am blocked again by thoughts. I have become addicted to noise, the silence is stifling.

Two young people in love leave the club. A couple who have been visiting the area for more than half a year. I always tried them with admiration, in their case it seems that love and fun are on the same waterline.

This time they didn't come out with a smile up to their ears and holding hands. They seemed to be arguing.

"I'll put my hand in the fire in a few seconds because the guy will slap him," Mitch says, laughing as he looks at the two of them.

I see the skinny blonde slap him hard on the face, turning her head completely.

"She's going to leave now," Mitch continued, as if anticipating the couple's every move.

Indeed, the girl walks away, but the man grabs her arm and turns her away. The variety continues to quarrel, vaguely hearing the girl's tickled voice screaming at him. Probably fed up with the conversation, the man hurried back and entered the club nervously, leaving the girl with his eyes "in the sun".

"Sad show," He commented, lighting a third cigarette.

I take a pack of slim cigarettes out of my envelope and light one. I watched the blonde sit on the curb and cry with her head in her hands.

I never felt the taste of love, I had a few relationships, but I didn't bother. I didn't think anyone would ever love me, after all, if I don't love myself, what can I expect from people?

"I didn't think love hurt," I say, looking at the girl as she wipes her makeup off her face.

"It hurts harder than anything," He says seriously.

“Love shouldn't hurt ... Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts, losing a person hurts, envy hurts”

“Did you list some examples, or did you say what hurts you?” he asks, looking me straight in the eye.

His question had hit me in the head, keeping my mouth wide open looking at him confused. His question was like a slap in the face.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.You've changed since I went out, what's the matter with you, Lanna?”

Mitch kept in touch, emphasizing everything with his hand over mine. I look at him confused, trying to convey a state of frustration, then I start laughing amused. Confusion had appeared instantly on his face.

“Sorry, but I remembered those cliché scenes when the guy asks the girl if she's fine-“

"She's lying to him, telling him she's fine," he continued.

“Exactly!”

"Then let's do something else, what would you tell me Maybe we won't meet again, maybe the roads will bring us back again. Maybe we will become the memory of a pleasant night. We don't know what life has in store for us. You have nothing to lose.

His realism intrigued me. It implied to me that he was open-minded. I sigh, as if without that sigh I wouldn't have had the strength to speak.

“Have you ever felt depressed?" Instead of reassuring you, does it feel like eating live? I ask, sitting down on the metal bench next to me.

“ Yes, I have moments, but all these worries have a cause.”

“ I feel like I want to break up, like me. Sadness, suffering, hot tears and annoying looks.” I say sad

"Have you ever thought we'll drive too much?" he asks in a melancholy tone.

“We think too much about everything, every look, every text.”

“Maybe we should blame ourselves, maybe we will break our hearts, but personal mistakes that are just the basis of suffering. We build the walls ourselves.”

His words seemed to caress my soul, opening my eyes to new perspectives. Is it my fault for these cruel states? For years I threw the arrows of blame on my mother.

Stubborn by nature, I did not want to attest to the fact that I could be the creator of my own agony.

I watch the sky light up, helping the sun to reveal its hot rays, indicating to me that I should go home.

"And another night has passed," he sats, looking at the beautiful sunrise painting the sky in beautiful shades of pink and red.

"I think I should go home," I say, taking my phone out of the envelope and ordering an uber.

"Let's smoke one more cigarette," he says, as if he doesn't want tonight to end.

His words form a smile on my face. I take out a new cigarette and hold it to my lips, and he lights it with a lighter. Our eyes meet, and for a few seconds I forgot I had to smoke.

Looking at him more closely, I noticed small scarred cuts running down his rough face. I was so curious about him. What he does, what his passions are, what brings a smile to his face. On second thought, I didn't want this night to end either.

"I know it may sound cliché, and you may already know that, but you're very beautiful," he says, lost in my eyes.

I thank him and see a blue bay parked right in front of us. Looks like my uber has arrived and will break me from this desired moment.

"Looks like my car has arrived," I say through gritted teeth.

“I really liked this night, Lanna, I hope we meet again, maybe life will last with us” he blushed sincerely kissing my hand.

"I hope so."

I say goodbye to the man who gave me the most beautiful night and I get in the car, looking nostalgically as I walk away from him.

[smoljoelito]

lace || chris velez

A/N: this is hot garbage but my Joel imagine is taking longer than expected to write so here’s a filler piece while I grind thanks friends :)

word count: 2,981

requested by/request: @everyday-imfangirling || #27 || Chris. #27: A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips

description: you’ve loved Chris for a long time, and alcohol is the only thing that makes you pour out your secrets.

warnings: fluff & language. 

masterlist

tags: @quierick @mepuserojito @ericks-mala-actitud @woowoodaaboo @ella-se-vuelve-loca @joelsaww @honeyzhong @sarswilltakeyouout@pimentelssmile @whippedforcnco @notsoteenagegirl @richukisbb@besosdecnco @emsy55 @cloudfiveclub @erickspretend1 @hardtoadore

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For the first time in his life, Chris will not be drinking at the club tonight.

Chris has never once been the DD, pretty much bribing or begging his way out of it every time, but tonight, he had made the choice himself, actually asking if it could be him. Once he found out for the first time in a while you were planning on getting drunk, he didn’t mind at all. 

When you told him you wanted to get drunk tonight, the first thought he had was keeping you safe, and the best way to do that is being the DD and staying sober the whole night to keep a good eye on you. As soon as he asked to be the DD, the other boys grilled him for it, knowing about the not-so-secret feelings he had for you, that everyone knew about except for you.

For the tour, you had been hired as the boy’s photographer, getting to watch every show from behind the screen of a camera, which you loved endlessly. From the first day you were hired, you knew this was the job that was for you. There’s no way to explain it, you just meshed well with everyone, including the boys. Your favorite, however, had to be the Ecuadorian man that could make you laugh harder than anyone could your entire laugh.

And that’s how it was every time you hung out or even had a conversation, laughter, smiles, and tears. Whenever you left him, there was always bubbly happiness lodged deep in your soul, somehow making you giddier than you already are naturally. Whenever you were down, he would offer an ear to listen, but then never leave before you were happy again. There was never a person before you had a connection with like him. Originally, you thought your job was the biggest blessing in your life, but as time went by, you realized the biggest blessing was him.

The friendship was/is always pure and happy. He flirts with you playfully but never throws any sexual inuendos your way at all. Respect is key, especially for him when it comes to women and you. He’d never want to make you uncomfortable in any way and ruin the odds of you getting together. 

Truthfully, he’s had many opportunities to ask you out, kiss you, or make a move, but at the last second, he chickens out, afraid of losing you altogether. The confident composure he has seems to melt when he’s with you, leaving his raw self for you to see, which you absolutely adore. It’s the moments when he’s talking about Ecuador, that you could listen to for hours, his hopes and dreams in life, how much he loves little things like new notebooks to write song lyrics in and sunrises, and his family that truly show the real Chris. He’s absolutely exceptional, and you wish he’d let everyone see that side of him.

Tonight, Clara has taken the opportunity to dress you, so that she can make sure Chris can’t take his eyes off of you, which when she told you, made you roll your own. The outfit she picked for you tonight consists of a black lace bodysuit and a high-waisted leather skirt that reaches down almost to mid-thigh, thank god. Then, she paired some very nice, but practical black heels with it that will make your legs look amazing, yet you’ll still be able to dance well in them. You’re no Gamora, so any incredibly high heels would make you drop to the floor, and not in a good way. 

The makeup you go with is light, just normal things plus eyeliner and a nude lipgloss. Your normal straight bob is curled a bit, leaving it lying just above your jaw with one side tucked behind your ear, letting your big silver hoops show. Ironically, a silver cross necklace adorns your neck, lying just above your cleavage.

“Holy shit!” Clara says when you stand to show her your entire look of the night, clapping her hands together happily. Usually, this isn’t your normal club attire, mostly going in a crop top and shorts, but a dress when the occasion is more formal, like tonight. 

“Oh fuck,” You say when you finally look at yourself completely in the mirror, “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” 

“Chris is going to lose his mind! Okay, we gotta go now though, we are gonna be late!” Before you even have a chance to say anything about her comment, she’s dragging you out the door and down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Everyone’s waiting in the lobby for us right now. I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when they see you,” She squeals with excitement, causing you to laugh.

“You’re magic, Clara, straight up magic.”

The elevator doors open just as you say that, allowing you to view the boys sitting on the couches by the doors on their phones. As you walk over, heels clicking across the marble floor, Zabdiel’s head lifts first, lips parting slightly as his eyes widen, before he smacks Chris sitting next to him. When his eyes meet yours, it seems everything else in the room fades away. His jaw falls open for a split second before it widens into his dashing grin as he stands up to greet you. It seems this triggers all the other boys to look up and they too look like deer in headlights.

“Mami, damn, look at you!” Chris exclaims, making a giggle bubble up inside you. Gently, he pulls you into his arms, offering a quick hug even though he saw you merely hours before. A bright grin mirrors his smile as you pull away.

“Thanks! You don’t look so bad yourself,” You joke causing him to scoff, yet throw an arm around your shoulder as you turn back to the boys.

“Damn!” Rich shouts causing you to burry your face into hands in embarrassment. Attention is not something you always desire, so when you get it, a lot of it, it makes you quite timid.

“Vamos guys lets go I want to get drunk more than ever now,” You say as you look up making everyone burst out laughing. Chris’s grip on you tightens as he leads you towards the backdoor where the van is waiting so you don’t get mobbed with all the fans.

Before you can even get to the van, Chris lets go of you, stepping a few paces ahead to open up the door to the passenger’s side and offers you a hand. A small smile forms on your face as you tip your head down slightly, trying to hide the blood you feel rushing up to your cheeks. As you grab his hand and he helps you into the car, you hear Zabdiel whistle behind you, only adding to the warmth in your cheeks. When you glance back, Chris flips them off causing you to instantly laugh. 

Everyone else piles into the van and just before Chris pulls out, he sends you one final smile. The entire ride is filled with carpool karaoke to whatever is on the radio, all ready kick-starting your energy for the night. Before you even get into the club, you can already feel the blood rushing through your veins from the sound of the bass which you can hear in the parking lot.

With the boy’s celebrity statuses, it’s very easy to slip into the club. As soon as you slip inside and hear the beat, your heart seems to feel it, pounding to the same tempo of the music. A hand finds its way around your waist and when you glance over, Chris beams at you. 

One of the bouncers leads us to our own personal VIP area on the upper floor. Many couches and chairs lie around a small table, all made with what seems to be luxurious materials. From the couches, one can see the rest of the nightclub where many bodies lie grinding, dancing, and well, making out to the music. 

Before we can all even sit down, a waiter comes over, bringing everyone all margaritas. As the waiter makes his way over to you, Chris reaches out and grabs one for you, happily holding it out for you to grab. Your lips wrap around the straw, eyes never leaving Chris’s. The cool Tequilla is welcoming down the back of your throat, the sweetness lingering on your tongue. 

“Hm, it’s Patron Anejo, I like it.” This causes Chris to smirk and shake his head at you as he laughs. 

“You like any kind of Tequilla.”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve being right.” This makes him burst out laughing as he leans forward a bit, getting closer to you. His hot breath fans your ear, making your hand to grip your beverage a little tighter as a shiver runs down your body.

“I’m always right when it comes to you.” He flirts causing your breath to hitch in your throat. A light chuckle escapes his lips, making your heart skip a beat. Just before you can respond, a hand clasps your wrist.

“Let’s go dancing!” She exclaims and you nod excitedly. Just as you glance back to Chris to ask if he wants to go, he shakes his head.

“I’ll find you later, nena.” Clara yanks you towards the stairs as you gulp down the rest of your margarita, setting it on a server’s tray as he walks by to collect empty glasses. As soon as you hit the main floor, the music seems to be playing much louder, almost making you clasp your hands over your ears from the slight pain. Clara spins around, shouting something at you, and you nod, unable to make out what she’s saying. 

To your surprise, she passes right by the dance floor and heads to the bar, grabbing a bartender immediately. Over the music, you still can’t make out what she orders you, but you drink pretty much the same thing so you’ll be fine. 

“I ordered us two shots of Grey Goose!” She screams, finally talking at a tone that seems to deafen the bass in your ears. You nod happily, and then the shots are placed in front of you. Simultaneously, you both pick up the shots, holding them up to each other

“To tour, to CNCO, and to our friendship!” She shouts causing you to laugh. Without a second thought, you knock your glass with hers before tipping your head back. The strong vodka makes you make a face at first before it trickles down the back of your throat and out of your mouth. As soon as it hits your stomach, your blood seems to warm instantly.

“Vamos a bailar!” She screams, before pulling you to the dance floor. Within fifteen minutes, the alcohol is circulating your system provides immediate loosening of your muscles, allowing your hips to sway a little easier to the beat of the music.

With your arms in the air, eyes closed, and feet moving to the beat, you feel as if you’re on cloud nine. Any stress you’ve been feeling for the past two weeks, especially thoughts about your relationship with Chris seems to fade away. You don’t want to think about work or anything, just dancing.

For what feels like hours, you and Clara dance, and she makes sure you stay hydrated with alcohol, handing you many margaritas to the point where you become far past tipsy, but man, do you feel amazing.

Men have been trying to dance with you the whole night, and you brushed them off, not wanting any man right now, besides one, but that’s who you’re trying not to think about. 

Two hands gently grasp your waist making your body freeze as your backside meets someone’s front. Before you can leap away, hot breath fans your ear.

“It’s only me, hermosa.”

Speak of the devil.

You can practically hear him smiling, probably from scaring you, so you gently roll your hips to the beat, which he follows easily. The grip on your waist tightens as he gets closer to you.

“I’m going to go back up to our lounge!” Clara calls out before walking around me, leaving your drunk ass and Chris. You gulp immediately, muscles tightening out of nervousness.

Lord, have mercy.

“Don’t worry, amor, I’ve got you,” Chris promises from behind you, his lips gently grazing your ear. A deep breath escapes your lips before you slowly begin to move to the beat.

Never before have you danced with Chris like this or in this proximity, but boy, was it electric. Nothing that has happened tonight can top how alive you feel at the moment. Your skin is flushed, thanks to the alcohol running through your system and your heart that hasn’t stopped pounding since you started dancing with the cheeky boy behind you. A lightness has risen inside of you that you haven’t felt in such a long time, yet you're unsure of the cause: Chris or the alcohol.

Suddenly, the two hands on your waist spin you around, and your chest is flush against his. A gasp escapes your lips as your eyes raise to meet his, and you find your faces merely centimeters apart. Your mind seems to shut down completely as he leans downward, lips pressing down on your cheek before moving to your ear.

“Everyone’s ready to leave nena, let’s go.” You find yourself nodding at the words, still in a trance from the charming personality of Chris. He beams at you, sliding a hand around your waist for support before heading towards the exit.

“How are you feeling?” Erick asks upon seeing you at the exit as you all walk out together.

“Nada.” You answer, making everyone laugh, “Estoy borrache y no puedo más.” 

“Déjame ayudarte,” Chris responds from behind you as he opens up the door for you at the van. This time, he holds your waist as you step in, and still you almost fall over.

Once everyone is all loaded into the van, the drunken carpool karaoke starts again, but this time, you don’t participate, instead, you watch all the pretty lights and buildings passing by outside the window.

Even in your drunken state, your mind still bounces back to the boy driving the van, making your heart skip a beat. There’s no denying the feelings you have for him; you’ve had them for quite a while. It’s not the alcohol making you light, it’s him. Whenever you’re around the man who’s like sunlight wearing shoes, you just feel relaxed and the best version of yourself. He makes you a better person and makes you want to be better. There’s no one you’d rather spend a day, or a night, with it’s him, it will always be him, and you’re dying to tell him just that.

When you get back to the hotel, Chris practically sprints around the van to open the door for you, then grabs your waist to lift you out. For the first time all night, the other’s don’t make a comment, besides saying goodnight, and head inside, leaving you two alone.

“We definitely have to dance again sometime,” You comment as he slides an arm around your waist, leading you inside. A chuckle escapes his lips as you head for the elevators.

“Well, you definitely have to wear this for me again next time,” He flirts as he lets his thumb run over the lacy fabric of your bodysuit. A blush makes its way up to your cheeks as you smile down to the floor momentarily as you enter the elevator.

“Let me know when and where,” You say as he hits the button for your floor. Instantly, he spins to face you with wide eyes as he lets out a loud laugh. 

“Damn mami, you’re extra flirty tonight. Is it just the alcohol, or is the alcohol letting out some secrets that you’ve been keeping from me?” He asks, taking a step towards you, making your chests gently brush.

“I’d say the alcohol is making me a bit too chatty tonight.” You answer and lean up closer to him, gently brushing your lips against his. Electricity shoots through your veins as he stands frozen in place, waiting for you to make a move. When the elevator doors open, you step away, heading down the hallway with a smirk, and he follows how on your heels.

“Amor, you’re bold tonight,” He comments as he leans up against the wall next to the door of your room, while you swipe your keycard. When a loud beep goes off, you push the door open, motioning for him to follow.

“Quit playing with my feelings, baby,” He begs, causing you to spin on your heel to face him just as he shuts the door.

“Oh? You think I care?” You joke, biting your lip. As he steps towards you, he lets out a low chuckle;

“You know you love me mami,” He smirks, causing you to raise an eyebrow, a grin bubbling at your lips.

“And what if I do love you?” You taunt. This catches him completely off guard, causing his lips to part as his body freezes in place. His eyes widen as he stares at you, incredibly shocked by how much the alcohol has made you confess.

“And what if I love you?” He finally asks, eyes meeting yours as he steps closer to you, leaving a foot of space between the two of you.

“Then we’ve been wasting a lot of time, baby.”

“This isn’t the alcohol talking? Are you sure of it?”

“Oh, it most definitely is. I’m certainly not this bold normally. I’m drunk and I love you, but tomorrow morning I’ll be sober, and I’ll love you all the same.”

[tempestuous-cosplay]

Flower Asks

Alisons: Sexuality?

Demi-romantic poly-pansexual.

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

They Them non-binary 

Amaryllis: Birthday?

July 20!!!!! Gunna be 25

Anemone: Favorite flower?

Can’t choose. But its something blue, purple, or red. I really like Hydrangeas and Narcissus flowers.  

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

Brooklyn 99, Avatar the Last Airbender, MeatEater

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Depends on whats needed. 

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

ah, man, i don’t fuckin know. Probably the line “Change IS nature, dad, the part we can influence. And it all starts when we decide.” from ratatouille 

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Water, milk, then sprite. Unless we talkin booze, tequilla.

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ABSOLUTELY 

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Yup. Would love to have that again one day, but not now. 

Baneberries: Favorite song?

Under My Skin by Jukebox the Ghost at the moment, but consistantly its Pierre by Rynn Weaver. 

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

Better than some but has its issues. 

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

I have 5 closest friends whom i LOVE and talk to with any regularity. 

Begonia: Favorite color?

PURPLE

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

DRAGON

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

I like being awake in the morning bc then it feels like i have so much time to do stuff, but my sleep schedule always shifts to being a night owl.

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

a Kite or a hawk for all that fancy flying.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A veterinarian, a puppeteer, or the next david attenborough. 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

I eventually want ONE, just one, of my own when I’m living with a community who will help me raise them. But really, i think too many people are having children who just should not be parents. 

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

Being in love again bc the last times its happened I got traumatized.

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I always used to say i would never get tattoos and now i have one and plans for more. Ain’t gunna stop till im covered.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

I would travel up to my friend @b-oredzoi and spent the day with her. She ain’t got a choice. 

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single but with some FWB situations goin on.

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

anywhere outside continental US. Im not picky. Top choices Kyoto Japan, the french countryside, p much anywhere in africa.

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when im tripping on acid or when my friends are hugging me real tight. 

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

YEAH, got one on my thigh. 

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

YUP, lobes and one cartilage 

California Poppy: Height?  

5′4 and hating every second of it. Wish i was taller. 

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

100%

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

skill boxers stolen from an ex-friend and a shirt that im not 100% sure is mine??? but I’ve had it for a year and wear it all the time soooooooooooo. Mine now

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I used to sleep with the closet light on until i was, like..... 14? 15?

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

myyyyy mom prolly.

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my pal Eli

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

something swoopy and pretty. Or the one thats just emojis. 

Columbine: Are you tired?

always

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

getting top surgery and corona being over. 

Coneflower: Dream job?

philanthropist actor/ director. 

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

ambivert. 

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

We did this with balsom fir. anyway, yes i have been!!

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

depending on who they are, as far as they needed me to. I don’t THINK i would kill anyone, but there are a few people i would willingly die for. 

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

A green and purple dragon named Puff, who i still have. He’s always either in my bed or on a shelf in my room. 

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Cancer

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

Didn’t die. Helped stop my grans house from burning down. 

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

so far its getting my associates degree. Either that or dragging myself out of a horrible depressive, self destructive spiral in 2018-2019, getting the help i needed, and doing better for myself and those around me.

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

figure out why and wither resolve it or dump the partner.

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

my dad prolly. 

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Crafty stuff. and animal trivia. 

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

organizing anything, remembering dates, statistics. 

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Got okayed for top surgery

got surprise money!

Got a sentimental piece of art from my grandparents (at long last.)

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

p solid. Helped my dad with some yard stuff, made a yummy dinner, saw most of the supplies i need for a new project shipped. 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

mmmmmmm not really, but im getting there.

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

Graduate, move out, get a good, fulfilling job. Travel some more. 

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

The friends who stuck around

my plushie collection

my tarot collection

my print collections from cons

finally having a queen sized bed

books

my pets (wow, almost forgot about them)

my fursuit making skills

my hair

my gently rising self esteem 

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

petting soft things, reading, watching Ghibli movies. 

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

all them love languages bro. Every single one. I tailor my affection to the individual and what love language they receive most.   Mostly, I cook for people.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

We’ve done this one too!

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Its a nice balmy 72 degrees with a nice breeze. The sun is shinning with some clouds here and there. I go to the zoo with some friends/ a friend and we just share random facts about our favorite animals. we get some cute plushies at the gift shop and then go to a wonderful meal, either greek or korean bbq or Pho and we go back to someones house to watch movies and vibe, sleepy, warm, and content. 

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

read, craft, organize my room, draw, garden, swim.  

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

I dont have a singular “Best friend”. I do have my Inner circle tho!

Laura- we met my freshman year of collage, first day and we click INSTANTLY. She’s my soulmate and I would go to hell and back for her (RIP to Orphius, but im different)

Bly- we met, like, back in 2014/2015 at house parties but didn’t really start getting SUPER close like we are now until, like, 2017/18/19 ish. Really the only person I actively talk to every single day, my mood twin. We share a braincell. 

Syd- we met at, like, Momocon 2014? 2015?? something like that???? bc we roomed together. We started getting close in 2016 by bonding over fursuit stuff. My go to roadtrip partner. I kinda owe my current joy for life to her bc she helped me through my hell time in 2018 but kicking my ass and teaching me how to make fursuits. 

Eli- we met at Dragon-Con through a mutual friend in 2014, but didn’t really get close until may of 2019. Now we’re p much partners in everything but title bc we just don’t have romantic feelings for eachother. We share a therapist and hang out at least 3 times a month.

Shane: We’ve been friends since, like, 2010 but started getting close in 2017 when they helped me get a job. Then we just,,, stuck around. They kick my ass to get out of the house and do stuff, or did before corona 

Sammi : Friends since 2010 when we were in highschool together. Our friendship was super rocky until we were in different schools and smoothed out as we aged and matured. They are the reason i got into conventions  and cosplay as a whole, so they have only themselves to blame for how I am now. 

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Eli and laura. 

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

my inner circle is, like, 6 people, but friends as a whole like.... idk.... 20?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

“Your gender vibe, is, like, primordial. Its a perfect blend of masculine, feminin and things that are just indescribable.”

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

I hate myself, to be perfectly honest. But Im trying my best to be a good person and a good friend, so I don’t have to like me, as long as the people who matter do. 

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

I love my hair. Also how much better at communication i’ve gotten. 

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself? 

my adhd and the social symptoms of that.  

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i liked swinging and listening to the sounds of shoes on carpet. Good stim time.

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

I never really had a best friend for more than 2 years. They would always move away, So i don’t really have a solid “best friend as a kid.” Why yes, I do have abandonment issues. 

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

How my last relationship ended. I pulled some STUUUUUUUPID shit and never got to own up to it or hold the other person accountable for the harm they did to me. It was just overall horrible and never got any type of closure. Likely never will. But it be that way sometimes. 

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

My grandfather died last week and i feel........ almost nothing bc I honestly really did not like the man. He was horrible to me growing up and horrible to my mother while my grandmother was sick and dying. But he did a number of good things too. But I feel guilty for not mourning him more. 

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

I chose Sawyer bc when I was younger, I was very good at wriggling my way out of work and my mom and aunts would call me “Tom Sawyer”. I also just like Mark Twain and the name Sawyer in general. Feels good

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

In the suberbs of atlanta in a nice house on the Chattahoochee river. I’m actually still living there while I finish school. 

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Rosey wall paper and gross maroon carpet until 7th grade, when we painted it all blue and put in blue carpet. It was, and is, very VERY blue. Im gunna be painting 2 walls different colors soon.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

Miserable, tbh. A lot of shit happened when i was 16 that left me with a lot of trauma and issues that I didn’t really have the maturity or energy to deal with while in highschool on top of being queer and dealing with that. So it was a lot of fighting with parents, self loathing, and struggling in school. It had its beautiful wonderful moments that I love with all my heart, but for the most part it was just kinda rough. 

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Georgia born and raised. She tries her best and is a wonderful mother, but we clashed a lot growing up bc she’s fairly neurotic and likes everything to be precise and orderly and perfect and im... ADHD so sometimes close enough is all you’re going to get. Growing up, i couldn’t communicate what was going on with me or happening in my head very well at all, and it caused a lot of tension. 

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

Hes from Bogota colombia and im almost a carbon copy of him. That means our issues with ADHD have a happen of blowing up at eachother. He’s horrible and constructive communication, but overall is sweet and funny and very very clever. My relationships with both of them are p okay nowadays with a few spats here and there that I will deal with when I don’t live with them anymore. 

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

I never met my paternal grandparents. My maternal grandfather died when I was 6 and i hardly remember him.

My maternal step grandfather was.... not a good man but he was interesting and incredibly smart and fairly liberal. So there was that at least. But, to be honest, I hated the guy.

My maternal grandmother was one of my favorite humans in the world. She spent her whole life a highschool science teacher. She was funny, witty, elegant, a fairly talented cook who always encouraged me in everything I tried. Im still dealing with some emotional stuff regarding her passing, but Im just always so glad i got to spend as much time with her as I did. 

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

haha shit. Maybe my 21? A bunch of friends and i went and hung out at a park then got hammered at my house after. 

Peony: What was your first job?

Working at the summer camp i went to as a kid. Debating going back if I ever can. 

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

I want my future partner to be a friend where things just, grew and blossomed. 

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

Emotional? I try to be constructive and communicative about who or what caused it and doing something productive to help deal with it.

Physical, i just ignore it until it goes away. 

Pink: Where is home?

Wherever Im going to sleep that night. 

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

When my ex broke up with me, I would have cut all ties all together instead of try the whole “we can stay friends” bullshit. I would have just “I don’t hate you, but If we aren’t going to be together, I can’t be friends with you until I’ve had some time to heal.”

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

nope

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

I’ve made my fortune and when I say things people listen, but I can also run away to my beautiful little homestead with my queer friends and wife and all our animals and children living together in a wonder queer commune. I get to travel twice a year and i never have to worry about money. 

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

hmmmm. No idea.

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

can’t pick one person.

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

wind chimes probably.

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

oh man, too many to choose. I’ve lived a wonderful life so far. 

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Too many to choose. THe night I got dumped, my grandmothers funeral, my friends funeral, some others that I don’t wanna talk about due to triggers. bleah

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

I want..... soup dumplings. 

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Depends. really intense or personal feelings involving my depression or emotions is almost impossible to talk about. But my feeligns about films and stuff i have 0 issues talking about. 

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

Laura

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

idk, like 7 hours?

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

School

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

im.... technically self employed/ unemployed. I want a job tho. 

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My killstar hoodie. 

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

Disaster gay.

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

A tarot deck

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

Corona virus. and money. 

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

The entire Heros Of Olymus series The lightning thief and Sea of monsters The trials of Apollo The last unicorn.

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

ideally living with friends and one year away from graduation.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

*sweats* yea

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

im a witch

[itsme690]

Bad Day Part 6

**NOTE** I don't really think Lucy is like this but this is just how the story played out*** _____________________

It was the last week of filming and everyone was beginning to get sad knowing they weren't going to be seeing each other daily anymore, specifically Joe. He was such a sweetheart and seeing him upset broke my heart.

"Dude, we all got phones, you know we all will still talk in our text chain! We aren't going to forget about eachother just like that!" Rami reassured Joe, slapping him on the back.

"Yeah yeah and I've always got good old cardboard Ben to keep me company!" Joe winked in Bens direction who then just rolled his eyes. After the last 7 months the four of them have created such a beautiful bromance, not even I could understand it. While Lucy and I have become close friends. Although we had our daily arguments it was nice to have a girlfriend in this country to have girl time with. Tonight we were all going out to a club of Lucys choosing. She was familiar with the area so we trusted her choice.

"I think its about time we go to get ready, wouldn't you say Y/N?" Lucy stood and headed towards the door or the trailer. I nodded, bending down to kiss Ramis cheek.

"And I'll be seeing you later.." I whispered in his ear and tapped my finger on his nose. His hand gripped my thigh tight, and he srunched his nose while biting his bottom lip.

"Can't wait babe." He grabbed he back of my neck and pulled me in for a passionate kiss before I had to leave.

"Oh get a room.." Gwilym chimed in, rolling his eyes and everyone laughed. Rami broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine. I got off his lap and stood in front of him before leaving with Lucy. Rami smacked my ass as I walked away from him and I shot him a look that he knew he was in for it tonight.

Lucy and I had arrived at the Club 49 before the boys so we continued our conversation in the limo before getting out.

"Have you gotten any more wedding planning done?" She asked. By now Rami and I had figured out a location which was the toughest task. We agreed on a summer wedding on the beach. The ceremony will be small, with just our family and closest friends. But the reception will be held in a large ballroom, big enough for many more friends to join and celebrate with us. "Have you picked who you want to design your dress?"

"A designer? I was just going to to go bridal dress shopping with my mom and friends back home." I didn't think too much into needing the perfect dress.

"Oh honey no, you are marrying Rami Malek. You will get a designer to make you a one of a kind gown. You aren't just anybody anymore, you get treated with the same praise and admiration as Rami does." I guess Lucys right. Up until now Rami wasn't widely famous, but now with playing Freddie Mercury I can't help to think that our lives are about to change drastically. Before I had a chance to say anything there was a knock on the window. Lucy rolled it down, it was Gwil letting us know they would be inside getting drinks and for us to take our time. She turned around and saw I was pale as a ghost. "Are you alright sweetie?" I nodded.

"I will be. Lets go inside." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I've been with Rami for years, how much is going to change after getting married? I got out of the limo behind Lucy and straighted up.  Looked at my reflection in the tinted window, I ran my hands down my rose gold sequined dress. It was tight fitting with a plunged front and chain strap detailing, leaving my back bare. It was the shortest dress I have ever worn, only going down mid thigh. Lucy let me borrow some strappy silver heals and a diamond choker necklace.

"You look stunning Y/N. Rami isn't going to be able to keep his hands off of you!" I smiled and retuned the compliment.

"I bet you will really capture Bens attention tonight." I teased her and she rolled her eyes. For the longest time I thought Lucy was into Rami, especially after their nearly naked scenes that they had together. Lucy was the flirtatious type that didn't hide her feelings. Rami always reassured me that I had nothing to worry about. He was in no way attracted to her whatsoever. She was far too young for him and was not his type. He would remind me of our life back home, how he couldn't wait to go back to the quiet life we had together. Lucy told me over and over that she didn't have feelings for him but it was just something I couldn't believe. Rumors went around  set that she would opened her legs to anyone that would give her any sort of attention. Rumors are just rumors but somehow I believed this one to be true.

"Whats so special about tonight? Ben has never given me the time of day, so why tonight?" I couldn't disagree with that. Ben is usually so wrapped up into himself that he doesn't notice the people around him.

We walked hand in hand inside to the boys. There they were. Standing in the corner of the room trying not to make too much commotion. The four of them were dressed similar with tight black pants, a black jacket, and each had on a different color buttondown shirt. On the table was a set of 6 amber colored shots which they were waiting for us to toast.

"Its about time!" Joe snickered. Rami turned around when he heard us walking up behind him. His eyes flickered from my eyes down the entirty of my body and back up again. "Damn girls, you guys really out did yourselves this time!" Joe said and Lucy and I giggled. Ramis jaw dropped before he gently placed his hands on my hips.

"Would ya look at you!" He pulled me closer flush to his body and placed a quick peck on my lips. "You look so beautiful Y/N." I smiled and linked my fingers together around the back of his neck.

"Thank you. I thank Luce for helping me find the most perfect dress." I winked her way but she was too busy trying to get Bens attention.

"SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!" Joe sang excitedly. "Now that the girls arrived, its time for SHOTSSSSS!!" We all turned to the table and picked up a tequilla shot from the table.

"Alright, whos making the toast?" Gwilym asked. "It won't be me this time!"

"I've got this." Rami chimed. "This has been the best seven months of my life. I have made the best of friends among you guys and although we won't be physically together everyday anymore, we have our text chain and will still be attached through technology. Y/N, I thank you for sticking with me through everything and I can't wait to be able to call you my wife. Don't worry guys, you all will get an invite. to the wedding!"

"After being friends for the past 12 years you best invite me!" Joe joked, nudging Ramis arm.

"This is for Queen and Freddie." Rami finished and everyone took their shot, slamming their empty glass down on the table.

"Ugh why are we always doing tequila shots?" I muttered. Everyone but Gwilym and Ben made disgusted faces after taking their shot. Rami shrugged and raised his eyebrows, pointing at Ben and Gwil.

"Group hug!!" Joe insisted, wrapping his arms around Rami and Ben. We all huddled together for a quick moment before the DJ started to play the next song.

"I don't know about y'all but I'm going to dance!" I grabbed Lucys hand from behind and pulled her onto the dance floor. The beat of 'In Da Club' vibrated the empty glasses on the table. "I love this song!" Rami, Gwilym and Ben all stayed back while Lucy, Joe and I went out and swayed to the beat. The strobe lights flashing were blinding. Joe was loving his life with Lucy and I dancing so close to him. Rami was watching my every move from across the room as if he wanted to undress me right then and there. I continued to dance with Joe, teasing and seductively beckoning Rami to come and join me on the dance floor. Finally the remaining three boys made their way out. I swayed my hips with Joes not breaking the eye contact with Rami. The look in his eyes were growing darker as he took me in.

"You're one lucky man, mate." Gwilym whispered to Rami. Lucy, now dancing by herself, was trying to grab Bens attention but he was busy watching another group of girls dance upon one another.

"Gwil...will you dance with me?" Lucy asked him in a whiney voice but he denied. He wasn't the dancing type. He excused himself and went for a smoke.

"I will Luc." Rami sneered, still not breaking our stare. He knew how I felt about her from the beginning. He was doing this on purpose to get a rise out of me. Lucy draped one of her arms over his shoulder and began dancing with him trying to keep the drink in her hand steady.  I tried hard not to let it bother me, I turned around to face Joe and grinded my hips against his. I felt Ramis stare still on me, he was such a tease. Two can play this game.

"Woah, Y/N!" Joe exclaimed, placing one hand on my hip and the other on my lower back pulling me closer.

"Hands!" Rami snapped and Joe instantly removed his hands off of me. "This games all fun but no touching using your hands!"

"Sorry bro!" Joe threw his hands up in the air and let me continue swaying my body on his. Lucy looked as if she was enjoying herself way too much being that close on my fiance. She turned around and grinded her slutty ass back against him. I felt my heart pounding out of my chest and all I wanted to do was yank her off of him. I had to keep my cool, at least for now. Ben finally noticed the little game we were playing and decided to join in on the tease fest. He made his way up behind me, now sandwiching me inbetween him and Joe. I saw the rage in Lucys eyes when she looked up and saw Ben grinding behind me. She turned back to face Rami and rested her hands around his neck, playing with his hair.  Thats when I had had it. I felt her gaze on me. I turned around to face Ben and dropped my head back on Joes shoulder still swaying to the beat of the music. I slithered my hands around Bens waist, pulling him in closer. Rami lost it. He pushed Lucy off of him and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of between the other two men.

"You're pushing your luck babe, thats not how we play this game." He bit his lip and pulled my hips in tight against his. "You're mine, not theirs. Don't you dare be a little shit like that to me again." I felt his hot breath on my ear. He squeezed my ass tight. I had never seen him so territorial before, but damn I loved seeing him like this! Lucy had wedged herself between Joe and Ben and was content dancing with them while Rami and I headed to get drinks. The bar was swamped with people anxiously waiting for their drinks to be made. I pushed my way through and leaned my elbows on the edge of the bar. Rami settled in behind me resting his hands against the edge, surrounding me. I loved this feeling more than anything.

"Fancy seeing you here.." came from a familar voice two people over. Gwil finally had returned from outside. "Anyone else out there need a drink while I'm here?"

"I think Luc was running low on hers. Vodka and sprite." I nudged Ramis stomach hard. "Oww! What the fuck babe?"

"She does not need more! Do you remember what happened last time she had too much to drink?" I rolled my eyes. Last bar night out she drunkenly hooked up with not just one, but two complete strangers! One time she even tried kissing me after having a few too many. "Shes a sloppy drunk!" But it was too late, Gwil had her drink in his hand along with his beer.

"I'll keep an eye on her. I'll meet you two back out there!"

We finally got our drinks after what felt like forever. When we got back to our group on the dance floor Ben and Joe had their arms around eachothers shoulders and were swaying completely off beat to the music.

"Y/N...!! Where have you beeeeen? Come hereeee!" She whined, grabbing my forearm with her bitter cold hand. "Dance with meeeee!!!!" She spun me around and began grinding me from behind and petting my hair. "You have such lovely hair y/n! Did you know that?" I shot Rami and Gwil a look. She definitely did not need this drink. Gwil came over, taking her hand suggesting she should go with him outside for some air. "You can't tell me what to do!" She pulled her hand out of his so hard she nearly toppled over, spilling the small remainder of her drink on the floor. Joe and Ben finally came back down to Earth and saw what was happening.

"Lucy, dance with us again!" Ben said hopefully. If they could get her inbetween them again then she'd be fine. I pulled Rami around me and wrapped his arms around my waist and finally got back to the beat of the music.

"Oh come on dude, I don't think y/n would mind too much if you come dance with us!" Rami lured Gwilym to my front. Swaying our hips to the rhythm of the song.

"Hey Joe, look over there, hes cuteee!" Lucy slurred. "But you know whos the cutest man here?" She nodded her head at Rami. Leaning her head back on Joes shoulder she said "Rami.." in a audible whisper. I dug my nails into Ramis forearms and clenched my teeth.

"Let it go baby, shes drunk. Like you said, shes a sloppy drunk." I sighed as he began to kiss the back of my neck and shoulder. I turned around, lifting his chin with my index finger, I kissed his lips. I felt the heat of Lucy watching our kiss. She was getting so angry. Joe saw it in her eyes that she was going to do something that wouldn't end well.

"Lucy dont!!" He tried grabbing her but it was too late.  I broke the kiss to find her stomping toward us.

"You think its okay to go ahead and flaunt this little so called relationship thing you two have going on?" She pushed me to get close to Rami but Gwilym caught me. "You think kissing her is great? Get a load of this!" She grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him. Without an instant he pushed her off.

"Lucy what the fuck are you doing?" Rami backed away from her. Ben and Joe just stood in awe not knowing what to do or say.

"Don't lie Rami! You liked it! And you enjoyed our topless kissing scenes together! Tell her! Tell her its over between you two!" I had enough. Gwil let me go and I got up in Lucys face. "Oh honey, he doesn't want you. He doesn't need you. You are a nobody. Ramis famous now. Hes destined to be with someone like me." She flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"You know what Lucy? Rami does deserve the world. And trust me when I say this, you are not that. From the day I met you I thought you were such a brat. You got everything handed to you on a silver platter. But why? Who is Lucy Boynton anyway?" I heard faint applauding come from Joe and Bens direction. Lucy shot them her distinct side eye and they stopped clapping. She looked defeated. "I'm over this. Come on Ram.' I turned away from her and kissed him passionately knowing she was still watching. "Oh and one more thing.." I turned back to her and slapped my hand across her face. That was for kissing my fiance." She gasped, placing her hand over her cheek right where I had just layed my hand on her. I grabbed Ramis hand and stormed out of the club.

"Woah babe, where did that come from?" Rami asked, eyebrows raised. "That was really hot!" I didn't feel the need to respond right away. Not until we got outside and the warm air hit my skin.

"No one touches my fiance." Tears built up in my eyes, trying hard to choke them back but failing. He wiped away the one tear that escaped down my cheek with his thumb. "Are you sure?" I sniffled. I buried my head in his chest and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"Am I sure what low?"

"That you want to be with just a nobody like me?" He picked my head up to look in my eyes.

"You are not a nobody. I love you with everything I am, forever and always. I can't wait to be able to call you my wife in a few months. Why don't we head out and I draw us a nice bath and we can celebrate our own way one last time in London?" I shook my head and smiled up at him.