#anyone i was like 'holy shit' bc i actually did. hm what else. the guy who played the tsar and i used to shittalk bad period dramas

[c0rpsedemon]

ok fr last one but there's actually a bootleg of my school's anastasia and i'm linking it bc you all NEED to understand that my infatuation with this one girl's voice which started when i was in the 6th grade and still hasn't really worn off isn't based on nothing

[aliasimagines]

It Was You All Along // Dave Lizewski

requested by a lovely anon 💕

Can u write dave x fem!reader where reader Always had a crush on him but he kinda ignored reader bc of Katie but then someone popular asks reader out and he gets jealous and y/n dresses up super hot and he realizes he fucked up

word count: 1809

a/n: i hope this is close enough! ❤️ (i couldn't think of a different title but this one reminds me of Agatha All Along xd)

"Hey, Dave! My folks are gone for the weekend and I thought we could have an X-men watch party. Wanna come?" 

"Sorry I can't, I'm hanging out with Katie." 

"Again?" you ask a bit louder than intended,causing a few people to look at you in the hallway. You continue with a lower voice "Aren't you like, tired of all the lying? Like, what if she finds out that you're not actually gay, hm? Cause you know she will, eventually." 

"Why do you care so much?!" Dave says, clearly frustrated. 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"Oh why would I? Maybe because we have been best friends since diapers, you stupid asshole!" you say not caring if some students hear you or not, anymore. "But you know what, you are right. I shouldn't care. Go play pretend with Katie but don't come to me, crying when you end up getting your heart broken." 

"Don't worry, I won't." he snaps back. And you turn around and leave but not before flipping him off. You felt the angry tears rolling down your cheeks as you zigzagged between the chattering teenagers. 

You couldn’t  believe how Dave could be so blind! He only had eyes for Miss Perfect. Whom by the way, is a real bitch and would go back to ignoring Dave or calling him a freak if it wasn’t for his little gay act. 

Somehow you made your way over to the restroom and locked yourself into one of the booths.

Dave couldn’t even see you as a potential “love-interest”. Eventhough you were the one who always were there for him, you were always there when he called, running to him like a lost puppy. And he couldn’t even care less. And you hate him for it. But you hate yourself more for still liking him. 

It’s not like you can do something about it, if you could, you would have. But that’s not how it works, so you are just crying your guts out on the toilet trying not to think about Dave.

In all honesty, you have no idea how you made it through the day. You almost cried during biology but you caught yourself after a few lonely tears. You could feel Dave’s gaze on you but there was no way you would look at him. As soon as the last bell rang you were out of school, hurring past Tod and Marty, not being in the mood for them either.

The next day wasn’t any different, you didn’t hang with Dave, Tod and Marty like you normally do. You didn’t sit with them at lunch, instead walked over to the only empty table you saw and placed your tray there. You mounched on your food, completely unaware of your surroundings until you hear the chair next to you being pulled out. You look up to see Matthew Greendale, resident hottie of the school sit next to you. 

"Hey, sorry, it's not a problem if I sit here, right?" he asks. You eyed him suspiciously. 

"No, it's fine." 

It's fine?! You mentally scold yourself. You never even spoke to this guy, outside of literature in first year. Why would he sit next to you? 

"I didn't want to sit with all the other "popular jocks" he answered you unspoken question while taking a bite of his canteen-hamburger. “They’re fun and everything but it’s nice to get away from them sometimes.”

You think of your friends who are sitting a few tables away and you can’t help but agree with Matthew.

“Yeah, I feel you.” you say without thinking.

“Hey..We used to sit next to each other in freshman year, didn’t we? It’s y/n ,right?” 

You nod with a smile, honestly being surprised that he remembers you.

“Yeah!”

“I haven’t really seen you around a lot. But when I do you are always hanging with those comic book nerds.”

“Hey! Comics are great.”

He puts his hands up in a defense.

“Oh no! I didn’t mean it as an insult. Some comics are good, my little brother made read one last month. It was actually great.”

“What comic was it?”

“Oh, uhm..It was about some kind of blind dude in a devil costume.”

“Daredevil?” you ask with a giggle.

“Yes, that one!” he laughs too.

The two of you continue talking until the end of lunch break. He is surprisingly fun to talk to and he even offers to walk you to your next class after lunch. You had such a good time you didn’t even think about Dave, heck, you didn’t even notice him literally glaring daggers into Matthew.

“What’s up with you, dude?” Tod asks snapping Dave out of it. 

“Yeah, Dave. What the shit is going on with you and Y/N?” Marty asks too.

Dave forrows is eyebrows. Yes, what the shit is going on with the two of you? Every since yesterday's 'fight' with you he can't stop thinking. About how he spends most, if not all of his time either with being Kick-Ass or, rather with Katie. It used to be different. He spent every second with you and he just threw you away so he could maybe get laid. And sure, Katie may be hot as fuck but she is.. Well, she is not you. 

"We had a fight, yesterday. I.. And she was right." he explains with a grimace. "But why the fuck is that Greendale asshole is with her?" 

"You jealous or something, dude?" 

"Wha- Of course I am not jealous! Why would I be? You guys are nuts." 

Jealous… The word rolled around in his mouth like a new flavored milkshake he never tasted before. 

Could he be… Jealous? He never thought of you that way, you were always his best friend. Just that. But.. The more he thinks about it the more he can't stop that twist like feeling in his stomach. 

That night he can't focus on crime fighting. All his thoughts are tied to you. Whether he likes it or not, memories of you keep popping up in his mind. How didn't he notice your beautiful smile before? And your laugh? It's like a beautiful melody. And… Gosh! When did he become such a sappy teenager? Oh and another thing.. He kept trying to think of something else, anything else like Katie for example but he doesn't care anymore! 

Dave goes home early with a frustrated growl. The remaining hours of the night he spends with tossing and turning and daydreaming instead of sleeping. 

(the next afternoon, Atomic Comics) 

Dave bangs his head against the wood table once again. A tired groan leaves his lips when he hears Tod almost choking on his iced coffee. 

"What the tunk, Tod?" Marty and Dave ask almost at the same time. The dirty blonde haired boy keeps pointing outside the huge window that they are sitting next to at Atomic Comics. 

"Is that fucking y/n?!" 

Now all three of them look outside the shop and see you, all dressed up nad seemingly waiting for someone. 

"Holy fuck!" Dave whispers. He stares at you, with his mouth a gap before jumping up from the booth they were sitting at and rushing outside the store. 

"Y/n! Y/-" he yells almost tripping on thin air. 

"Dave?" you question, quickly turning towards him. Damn, you missed him. No! Yeah, you did… "What do you want?" 

"What do I- What, can't I talk to you?" 

"If you wanted to talk you would have in these past days!" you say. Yes, you might have missed him, but it's not like you're gonna show it. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am waiting for my date to show up." 

"Your.. Your what, now?!" 

"My date" 

"You can't go on a date!" 

"And why is that, Lizewski?" 

"Lizewski? Really, you're calling me by my surname? Are we in such a bad place right now?" 

"I don't know, you tell me. Are you going to tell me what i can and can't do, hm?" 

"I didn't mean it like that. I just…" 

"What, it's fine when you say it but when I do it with you about Katie I'm the bad friend?" 

"No,it's just-" 

"Sorry. Matt's here." you point to the street across the road where you saw the boy walk towards you. "I gotta go." 

You start walking away but Dave grabs your wrist. 

"Please, don't." he mumbles. 

"Why not?" you snap at him but your expressions soften upon your eyes land on his saddened face. 

"I- because I don't want you with him. O-or anyone." 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"What?" 

He took a deep breath before looking around. Matt was waiting patiently by the traffic light so he could cross the road. Dave quickly began explaining. 

"You were right. About Katie. I was such a dickhead, I am so sorry, y/n. I am sorry for ignoring you over her and and.." from the corner of his eye he sees the traffic light turn green. "Shit! I don't want you to go out with Greendale cause I.. Because I like you. Like really fucking like you. And oh my god you look so fucking hot in this outfit, not that you're not always hot but holy shit. I know we are just friends and you don't think of me that way but I ju-"

"Oh my god! Do you ever shut up?" you yell before pressing your lips to his. Dave stumbled back a little, but quickly recovered and kissed back. Your hands cupped his face and his hands grabbed your waist in response. You both tilled your heads, deepening the kiss earning loud knocking from Marty and Tod as they watched the whole scene through the window. Not that you noticed any of it. You didn't hear the passing by car honk at you nor the yells or whistles. You also did not notice Matthew walking away with a sad smile after seeing the two of you. Your touches intertwine and you're pretty sure you heard Dave moan slightly which causes you to giggle into the kiss. You both pull away gasping for air. You look down at your shoes, hoping to hide your flushed cheeks. Dave scratches his back and looks around nervously only to see his two idiotic friends making kissy faces. He lifts his middle finger for them before clearing his throat. 

"So.. Khm.. I guess you like me too?" 

You let out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah, I do." you say looking at him with a smile.

"That's.. Fuck. That's great." he replied genuinely happy. "Wanna get out of here?" 

You nod and you take off. You take Dave's hand and he intertwines your fingers with a smile. Maybe he is truly a superhero. He helps people and he gets the girl of his dreams. The happy ending. 

Dave Lizewski taglist : @sethcohenluvr @your-hispanichufflepuff

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being an Avenger from outer space

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: this isn’t great but like im down for some avengers hc requests

prompt:

you weren’t exactly accepted on earth the moment you got there

but it wasn’t long before the avengers spotted you

“state your name and your business here” -tony

“wait, stark, just a moment! are you a [alien species]?” -thor

“...my name is y/n, i had nowhere else to go. and yes, i am [alien species]”

i mean, this would be much cooler if the avengers hadn’t already had a bad run-in with the chitauri army

but at least you weren’t trying to destroy any part of earth

“why don’t you come with us for a while? you might be safer in our custody” -cap

you were very uncomfortable with that, but you believed that whatever you were running from couldn’t get you if you stayed with “earth’s mightiest heroes”

and that you were...sort of

the bounty hunters that were on your trail, they didn’t know much about the avengers

so they were dumb enough to strike first

luckily, the avengers took a liking to you

“this is for messing with our new friend!” -tony as he straight up fries one of these goons

you seemed to fight well with them

it made them want to keep you around more than they wanted clint

“having fun, y/n?” -nat

“honestly, yes! i’ve never kicked ass in a group before!”

“i felt the same way on my first mission with these guys” -nat

“wait...is this a mission?”

“well, yeah? what’d you think it was, chess?” -nat

“what? what’s chess?”

oh, my god, this was like thor all over again, it was gonna be great

once the battle was over, they had a question to ask you

but before that...

“did any of you kill the leader?” -you

“which one was the leader?” -sam

“the one with...with the face” *puts clawed hand in front of face for effect*

“thanks, that was really specific” -sam

“you know, he’s got...” *puts fingers near face* “tentacles?”

“you couldn’t say that first?” -tony

“i didn’t know if they were called tentacles here”

okay, that was fair

at that moment the mf hopped out and you pushed clint out of the way so that he didn’t get shot. he said “ow” :( but u were too busy tackling a fellow alien

“you let the rest of those hunters know that they shouldn’t even think about coming after me, are we clear?”

“you’re sparing me?”

“don’t be too flattered, you’re nothing but a messenger to me” *shoots him in the arm*

okay that was a power move

as you kicked this bounty hunter back into his ship, the avengers crew reapproached

“got any plans now that you’ve taken care of your little ‘issue?’” -cap

“you know, i haven’t really thought that far ahead”

“well, if you’re up for it, the avengers would love to have you” -nat

you couldn’t have agreed faster lmaoo

the government didnt like you much

the human population actually wasn’t too fond of you either

but the avengers wouldn’t let anyone touch you

thor made it his own mission to show you all the new stuff that he had discovered on earth

“and these are pop tarts!!” -thor

im talking animals, snacks, music, and more

and dont even get me started on parties

no actually i will

“so, youre from space? list 3 species i’ve never heard of before” -random partygoer

“well, how would you know im not making them up if you’ve never heard them before?”

not much of a comeback for that

you’d only answer questions that weren’t stupid

like “how far away is your home planet?” or “did you have any friends or family?” or “what other planets have you been on?”

and you had a lot of questions too

“what is pizza and where can i get it?”

“you’ve never had pizza? oh, we have to change that” -tony

“what is it though?”

as you went on more missions, you got a better feel for how to work with teammates

especially when they had such different skillsets

“wanda, would you give me a boost?”

“with pleasure!” -wanda

“why didn’t you ask me? i could have flewn you!” -rhodey

“it just feels cooler when wanda launches me, but i’ll let you have your turn later”

“y/n, we should have coffee after this!” -thor

“WHATS THAT?!?!”

you always got excited when offered new things

*muttering* “what the fuck” -you

“OKAY, WHO THE HELL TAUGHT Y/N CURSE WORDS???” -tony

“hm. i wonder” -nat

thor brought you to asgard once

it was pretty. (pretty wild, that is)

“maybe you can take me to your planet one day!”

“i’m pretty sure i’m wanted on my home planet, but i’d love a challenge!”

okay maybe he was ur new bff

“so, y/n, how long is your species’ life span?” -bruce

“im not sure that our measurements of time are exactly translated, but i believe in your time it would be....900 years?”

“oh...may i ask how old you are now?”

“wouldn’t you like to know...”

“...n-no, thats okay”

honestly? sometimes your days were nothing but lazy, so you’d learn about human pop culture

“‘tatooine?’ odd, that’s a planet in my solar system. do you think this ‘george lucas’ is an alien?” -you, lying

*cue the entire fucking team going nuts bc they’re about to believe this conspiracy*

okay but like. you KNEW about thanos. you just never thought he’d be a problem all the way out here

so when the whole thanos situation came to earth you were just kinda like 👉👈 sorry guys, shoulda said smth earlier

“you know who thanos is?” -dr. strange

“...yes. i do. he’s big. really big. and purple. kind of looks like a raisin. oh, yeah, he’s crazy. obsessed with balance.”

“balance? what do you mean by that?” -tony

“like, he likes to kill half of each population for ‘balance,’ you know?”

anyways you went back to space

“so, anything else about thanos we should know?” -tony

“he has 2 adoptive daughters, they’re both badass, i know then personally, he’s from the planet ‘titan,’ last of his kind, aaaand he has an army”

“we have a—wait, no we don’t” -tony

“are there aliens that lay eggs in people? or is that just a stereotype?” -peter

“peter, is it? i heard that you’re taught that there are no stupid questions, but that was a very stupid question”

“...i don’t know if that was a ‘yes’ or ‘no’” -peter

tony asked if you could fly the ship. no.

eventually making your way to titan

which was surreal since it had just been so long since you’d left earth

gotg in the house

“where’s gamora?”//“who’s gamora?” “why’s gamora?”//“you know gamora?” “you know gamora?”//“do you work for thanos?”//“no, i’m here to kill thanos”//“so you’re here to kill gamora?”//“what? no! gamora doesn’t work for thanos anymore, it’s been like 4 years”//“holy shit”

and then thanos popped in and nebula too and she recognized you and it was kinda awk but were just gonna pretend it didn’t happen bc it gets worse <3

u, tony, and nebula got trapped in a ship for like 3 weeks but it was good for catching up

and u met captain marvel and honestly youve just met too many people in the past few weeks u were not vibing

“so, y/n, miss space at all?” -tony

“up until we went back to space, yeah. i’m not leaving this planet ever again”

“we need to find thanos” -bruce

“fuck”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @spideyandtheboys // @ghost-bich //

[sapphire-innit]

@zeta-in-de-walls replying here so we don't get TOO obscenely long (or at least its in a separate post lmao)

YEAHHHH Its a big part of his abuse, taking away Tommy's agency - I'm not surprised he lashed out in any way he could ALLIUM DUO MY BELOVED I am biased for Bench Trio and I'm so happy they really did become a TRIO ; Ranboo has been trying his best literally from the moment he joined the server bless him ...Somehow that's even LESS sympathetic, like at least he INCLUDED Dream in the blame, but really man you're gonna blame the helpless one in this scenario instead of Dream? I'd have much more sympathy if he went after Dream instead. And of course I KNEW probation would never have worked (bc lord knows Dream would have taken the excuse to believe Jack since that just saves him the effort of setting him up himself!) but damn is that rough I have a feeling if that's the attitude Jack was going into this with, and considering what had happened yesterday, it was NEVER gonna go well. Even his first sentence pretty much set Tommy off (WHICH IT SHOULD Holy shit no kidding the guy being abused and separated from all his friends is 'being a bit mean' are you fuckign kidding me..!!) I know everyone was doing it, but I'm still gonna fight every single person on this server who blamed Tommy for Dream's actions ((Tubbo you are on THIN ICE since you were also manipulated pretty directly. EVERYONE ELSE BETTER WATCH OUT THOUGH OR CATCH THESE HANDS)) and yeah stepping back for a minute, it really is the tonal clash of the arcs lol. Objectively Jack's arc is hilarious, I'm just not able to take it that way when cc!Tommy's over here portraying a dark and realistic take on abuse. Its just not gonna happen bruh -- and Tommy's arc continues to be shaped by and play into this kinda thing so really I'm rather soured on the whole lot. Has cc!Jack ever said why he focused his arc around c!Tommy? I assume it was some combination of Actual Friendship + Tommy being one of the more, hm, heroic / sympathetic characters on the server (which of course you'd want for Team Rocket shenanigans) but idk it just seems like they could have worked that out better. These arcs seem really dissonant imo, and maybe they play out differently in practice? But rn I would have preferred if he was heckling someone like, Fundy or even Technoblade. As it is, Jack's actions either get put in a more malicious context than the tone deserves, or Tommy can't engage with them at all, I'd imagine.

As for the others, that's unfortunately pretty realistic as well -- a lot of times abuse can be well hidden, and hard to do anything about. The reality of Dream's control as well, is that L'manburg really do NOT have any teeth against him -- even if they had known that he was going too far or what he was doing, they couldn't have done anything about it. He'd already proven he could back them down, and heck he was actively scaring Tubbo from even visiting. Combine that with the lack of information and a dedicated fault-blaming campaign...

I'm just glad to hear that they DO all eventually come together to face Dream and support Tommy -- helping when you know about it, even if its after the fact.. sometimes that's all you can do unfortunately. Would be better if they helped him DURING but if they don't know, they don't know

Ranboo really is the stand out in this case, since he was able to keep contact, but even then... If you push too hard at a situation sometimes you do the opposite of helping, or get yourself put in a position where you can't help anymore. See Ghostbur -- he pushed as far as he could and eventually got himself chased away by Dream. That happens in real life too, though usually with less Actual Murder Attempts and more concentrated lying about or to the friend involved.

And Ranboo's gentle attempts to push back against Dream's narrative (without pushing Tommy too far either! that's also important and a good way to get yourself accidentally cut off) are really important, and can show them that they do have resources and friends outside of their abuser. It's important for actually getting someone out that they know they have people who still care about them despite whatever fucked up things their abuser is filling their heads with, and that they have somewhere to go. It also can help work as a bit of a reality check when its sorely needed, in the literal sense that their sense of reality is being fucked with and anyone validating their internal POV is probably a good thing, and a move towards giving them some semblance of stability.

Idk, it's a mess, but I WILL throw hands at anyone who knows and blames Tommy for this though. And that INCLUDES Jack, whether his cc was going for a lighthearted arc or not

[just-my-sickly-pride]

Swansong || Roger Taylor x fem!Reader

summary || sequel to ‘debut’. it’s sixteen years after you and roger first started dating. fourteen years since you graduated university. eight years since you married someone else. three weeks since you realised your husband was cheating on you. what are the chances that you run into roger, after all this time?

rating || family friendly, folks, apart from a few swear words here and there. just angst. pure angst, basically. with a christmassy, festive vibe.

word count || 5.8k (somehow, for fuck’s sake)

author’s notes || so, i’ve had quite a few people ask about a ‘debut’ sequel. surprise! here’s the sequel that i’m sure none of you were after. the idea just popped into my head and, despite the fact that i do not like reading angst (or writing, generally), here i am. also, this is a much older roger than i normally write for (he’s 52 in this), but i still wouldn’t call it pd roger by any means. this video is what i pictured when i was writing him - he was actually 52 years old in 1999, so it works perfectly. roger talks about his kids in this fic, but bc this is an alternate universe, of course, i’ve not used the names of his real kids. (sidenote: there’s an oc in here whose name is naoise - it’s pronounced ‘neesha’!)

masterlist

     “I can’t do this anymore. I have to break up with him right now. I have to.”

    Justine grabs your wrist, snatching your phone from your hand. “No, are you serious? What are you going to do, break up with him over the phone? Text him?”

    Your bottom lip trembles, and you feel tears well in your eyes. “I can’t deal with this anymore, Juss. He hates me.”

    “He doesn’t hate you.” Justine sets your phone down on the table, and cups your cheeks in her hands, brushing the tears away with her thumbs. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. Deep breath. In and out. With me.”

    You follow her lead – a shaky breath in, a shaky breath out.

    “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” she murmurs. “I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, especially not my best friend. But you have to hold it together until after Christmas, okay? Just two more weeks. For April.”

    You nod, and take another steady breath. “For April.” April, your daughter, the love of your life.

    “Let’s just go to this stupid party, all right?” Justine said. “Go fix your make-up, I’ll call an Uber.”

    You nod, she gives you a warm, sad smile, and you head to the bathroom.

    You take a drink of water and sigh heavily, then dig out your make-up to fix your foundation and mascara. Fuck him, you think to yourself. Fuck him for ruining everything. Eight years of marriage. Hope that side piece was worth it.

    You’re not sure if he knows that you know about… all of that. But you have your suspicions. He’s not exactly trying to hide it. Coming home late, smelling of another woman’s perfume, having no other excuse other than he’s ‘working late’. He’s been telling you for weeks that he’s just been ‘too tired’ for sex.

    But he’s with April tonight, while you and Justine are heading to the Christmas party of an old friend from uni.

    You tell yourself it’ll be a fun night. It’ll be nice to get away from home for a few hours, anyway.

    The host, Naoise, welcomes the both of you with a glamorous smile and kisses on the cheek, and waves you over with a manicured hand to the drinks table. You recognise a few familiar faces in the room, but you and Justine stick mostly together. Christmas music – mostly Michael Bublé, from what you can hear – croons in the background, just underneath the hum of conversation.

    “She was always good at throwing these things, wasn’t she?” Justine murmurs into her glass of champagne.

    You nod and hum in agreement, trying to surreptitiously cram an appetiser into your mouth and eat it as quickly as possible. “Nice of her to invite us,” you manage to mumble around the mouthful.

    “Yeah,” Justine says. “Naoise was always lovely.”

    “Have you met her kids?”

    “Yeah. She had them young, didn’t she? Right out of uni? They’re, what, ten and twelve now?”

    You finally swallow the food. “Christ.” You pick up your wine and take a gulp to wash it down. “Uh, yeah, I think so. She and Chin got married, like, a month after we graduated or something. Can you imagine April being that old?”

    Justine snorts. “I thought I had my kids young. But she seems happy, so I’m happy for her.”

    “Mm, yeah.” You take another sip of wine. “Wow. Getting married at, like, twenty-one, twenty-two. Oof.”

    “Right?” Justine says lowly. “Like, I would’ve been terrified. I was dating Amanda.”

    Your eyes widen. “Holy shit, Amanda. I forgot all about her.”

    “I know! I can’t believe we dated for almost three years. Even I forget about her sometimes. Can’t imagine being married to her. Eugh. Plus, if Amanda hadn’t dumped me six months after graduation, then I never would’ve met Jules. I wouldn’t have the kids I have now.”

    “Weird.”

    “Yeah. Weird.” Justine’s eyes idly meander over the mingling crowd, and then she looks to you. “Out of everyone you dated at uni, who would you have married? If you had to choose.”

    You sigh. “Juss, I don’t know if I wanna talk about marriage and stuff right now. Not marriage when it’s got anything to do with me, anyway.”

    “Right, of course. Sorry.”

    “It’s fine.” You give her a reassuring smile.

    The two of you drink in silence. You know you should be mingling with everyone else, making small talk, but it’s been a rough couple of weeks, to put it lightly. And everyone will be asking how’s Will? and all of those casual questions and you’ll feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable and bitter that everyone is prying into your personal life, even if they aren’t, they’re just being polite, and that’s just too much to think about.

    So staying by the snacks table it is.

    “Roger,” you say softly.

    “Hm?”

    You chew on the inside of your cheek, and glance at Justine. “I, um– I would’ve married Roger. You remember him? Second year? The older guy?”

    Justine gives you a look. “Uh, do I remember him? The guy who was, like, twenty years older than you and you lost your virginity to? He paid you for it? Yes, I remember him.”

    “Sixteen years, thanks,” you correct her. “And he didn’t mean to pay me for it, it was a mix-up, his friends set him up, and– oh, whatever, you know the story, I don’t know why I’m telling you again.”

    “I’m just saying, hard to forget something like that,” Justine says. “You would’ve married him?”

    You nod. “Given time, yeah, I think so. There was just something about him, y’know? I mean, it makes sense why we didn’t work out. He was older, and I had uni, and I’d never really dated before, all of that. I think it was just a matter of wrong place, wrong time. But he’s – well, everyone has their ‘one that got away’, don’t they?”

    “I guess,” Justine says. She thinks for a moment, and then says, “I used to think mine was the girl I dated all through high school, Kayla. Then I met Jules.”

    “Really?” you say. “You don’t have anyone who you think would have been your perfect match, had things just been a little different?”

    Justine shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe at the time. But not now.”

    You look away, and finish the rest of your wine. “I’m getting another glass,” you mutter.

    “Hey, hey, [Y/N],” Justine says, taking your wrist. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

    You shake your head. “It’s not your fault.” You hesitate, and then say, “Am I a bad wife for– for thinking that? Even after Will and I got married, I– I mean, I never wished I had Roger instead of Will, but I just always knew that, if things had been different, then I know I would’ve ended up with Roger.”

    “No,” Justine says firmly. “No. You were never a bad wife. You’re still not. Don’t ever think that.”

    You take a moment to drink this in, and then say, “You know, I’m the same age now that Roger was when I first started dating him?” You let out a laugh. “Oh my God, I’m thirty-six. When the fuck did that happen?”

    Justine chuckles. “I know. I still feel twenty.”

    “I still feel seventeen, sometimes.”

    “I don’t think that ever changes.”

    “No, maybe not.” You twirl the empty wine glass in your fingers. “I was head-over-heels for that guy.”

    “For Roger?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Yeah, I could tell,” Justine says with a grin. “I always thought it was just because the sex was really good. And he had the money to buy you nice stuff.”

    “All of that helped,” you say lightly, and Justine laughs. “But he was just such a good guy as well. He was such a good listener, and he was so thoughtful and patient and understanding, and, I don’t know if you remember, but he used to do this thing where he’d invite me over if I’d had a hard day at uni, and when I arrived, he’d have a bubble bath all ready for me, and some snacks, and he just…” You trail away. No point in getting too caught up in the memories.

    “I always liked him,” Justine says. “After I got over the age gap. For what it’s worth, I think he really liked you, too.”

    You nod. “Yeah, I think he did.” You sigh. “Well. No use thinking it over, is there? Doubt I’ll ever see him again.”

    Justine freezes, her eyes like dinner plates.

    “Juss?” you say. “What, what is it?”

    “No fucking way,” she murmurs. Her eyes flick to yours, and she grabs your wrist again, her grip tight. “You’re not going to believe this. I cannot believe this is happening. Turn around.”

    “What?” You turn around, and your jaw drops to the floor.

    Talk about speak of the Devil.

    He’s older, definitely. How old would he be now? Fifty-two.

    You wouldn’t have picked it. You would’ve guessed maybe mid-forties. But he always did have a bit of a younger face.

    “Am I dreaming?” you say. “Am I actually dreaming?”

    “What are the goddamn chances,” Justine says incredulously.

    You watch as Roger greets Naoise, and then her husband Chin. By the way Chin beams, you guess Roger was his invite.

    “Go say hello,” Justine hisses, nudging you.

    You whirl around to look at her. “Are you out of your mind?” you hiss back. “I haven’t seen him for, like, sixteen years!”

    “Then you’ll have so much to catch up on.”

    “He wouldn’t even remember me. We only dated for less than a year.”

    “Don’t be like that. You’re as hard to forget as he is. I’m sure he’ll remember forking over three months’ wages to sleep with y–”

    “Jesus Christ, Justine, can you give it a rest already?”

    Justine tries to smother a smile. “Sorry.”

    You shake your head. “No, it’s too weird. Especially in light of everything, and this whole conversation, it’s… No. Maybe later, but not now.”

    “Maybe it’s fate, or something.”

    “Don’t,” you say, your voice hard. “I’m gonna get another drink.”

    You leave Justine at the snack table.

    You’re just deciding whether to stick to wine or to switch to champagne when a shocking familiar voice says behind you, “Good God, [Y/N]?”

    Hearing him say your name again really is like something out of a dream – like a memory come to life. You turn to him, and, inexplicably, feel a blush heat your cheeks. You have no idea what to say, so you just say, “Roger?” as if you hadn’t already known he was here.

    Up close, you can tell more easily that he’s aged. But he still smells good – different, but good – and he’s dressed nicely.

    Still not wearing glasses, though. He never did. You used to pester him all the time about it when you dated.

    There’s a moment of awkwardness, but both of you go in for a brief hug. It’s weird. You shouldn’t have gone for the hug.

    “My God, it’s been how long?” Roger says with a laugh. “Fifteen years or something?”

    “Something like that, yeah,” you say.

    “You look great.”

    “Thanks. So do you.” 

    “Oh, don’t,” Roger says, waving a hand dismissively. “I’m actually old now, I know.”

    “No, you do,” you insist. “Look good, I mean. Genuinely.”

    His outfit is simple, black-and-white, which almost surprises you. He used to dress a little more eclectically; there was always something patterned or brightly coloured in just about every outfit he wore, especially to parties. Maybe it’s something he’s outgrown. The thought makes you quietly sad.

    He does have a little reindeer pin on his lapel, though. It looks handmade, like something he would have bought at a market, made out of mini pom-poms and tufts of tinsel. So maybe he hasn’t outgrown that part of him entirely.

    He seems a little flustered by your compliment, and, yep, that’s the Roger you remember. “Well, er, thank you. And I meant it too, of course.”

    “Thank you.” An unmistakably awkward moment passes, and you blurt out, “You– How are you? What brings you here?”

    “Funny story, actually.” Roger ducks forward and grabs a glass of red, and you take the opportunity to take some champagne. “I, uh, decided I hated dentistry, so I went back to uni and studied biology instead. Wanted to become a professor, but I was already thirty-seven when I started, and I would’ve had to retire by the time I got my PhD. I’m a teacher these days, high school teacher. Chin just started working with me earlier this year, and we hit it off, I suppose.”

    You blink in surprise. “A biology teacher?”

    Roger chuckles. “Yes, I know. My friends were all shocked and appalled when I told them. The salary’s miserable in comparison, but I don’t hate my life when I wake up in the mornings, so I see that as a positive.”

    You hesitate, unsure whether to ask, but go for it anyway. “Did you always hate being a dentist? I don’t…” Is this too far? Is this out of line? “I mean, well, I don’t remember you hating it that much.”

    Roger drinks this in, and then nods to himself. “Right, yeah,” he says, sounding almost surprised. “I, um, never really told you, actually. I didn’t want to, uh, force you to listen to me whine about a job I hated while you were studying and all of that.”

    “Oh,” you say. You look at your champagne. You should’ve stuck to wine.“Well, for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have minded. At all. As I remember, I used to whine about university all the time.”

    “University’s for whining,” Roger says with a shrug. “I’d done my fair share of that already, all through dentistry school. And I got to do it again, as it turned out.”

    “Is there, ah, anything else you didn’t tell me while we were dating?” you joke half-heartedly.

    Roger’s eyebrows raise. “Oh, I–”

    “No, sorry, I was kidding,” you jump in. “Obviously, I don’t expect you to…” You inwardly curse yourself, and pour some champagne down your throat.

    Roger opens his mouth, as if to say something, and, in the back of your mind, you recognise that look, but you can’t quite place what it is.

    Then someone calls Roger’s name, and the look is gone, and Roger politely excuses himself from the conversation to be swept up in another.

    You bolt back to the snack table, as subtly as you can, but Justine is nowhere to be found. You quietly vow to throttle her next time you see her for disappearing on you, and shovel one more appetiser into your mouth, washing it down with champagne, then turn to face the crowd you’ve been immaturely avoiding all night.

    It feels like an hour, but must be no more than twenty, maybe twenty-five minutes, before you find a reasonable excuse to slip away again. You’re not having a bad time, per se, and you’re enjoying getting to catch up with old acquaintances, but it’s damn exhausting. You still haven’t seen Justine.

    You wish it wasn’t so freezing outside. You could do with some fresh air.

    Maybe another drink will help keep you warm. Even though you know you shouldn’t. You’re already tipsy.

    You take another flute of champagne and slip outside onto the balcony. The automatic light switches on.

    Your fingers and toes immediately feel like they’re about to fall off. “Eugh, this was a mistake,” you mutter to yourself, and bob up and down on the spot. The balcony is dotted with snow, but it’s hardly been the coldest winter you’ve ever lived through. It’s not snowing right now, at least. And it is nice to have some time to yourself.

    The back door slides open, and you turn to see who’s joining you, hoping it’s Justine.

    It’s Roger. He gives you a smile – a little nervous, a little shy, almost – and holds out your jacket. “You looked cold.”

    The first thing that comes out of your mouth is: “How’d you know it was mine?”

    “I asked Naoise. Here, let me hold your drink.”

    You pass him your champagne, and slip on your jacket, then take the flute back. “Thanks.”

    “No worries.” Roger moves closer to you, standing beside you, and squints up at the dark sky. “Not much snow this winter.”

    You follow his gaze. The moon is half-full. “No,” you agree.

    The sounds of the party are muffled behind you. Beyond the balcony, you can see through the bright yellow windows of Naoise’s neighbours – the silhouettes of family dinners, of other parties, the white light of TVs.

    “Sorry,” Roger says, breaking the silence. “You probably came out here to have some alone time. I shouldn’t have intruded. I can go back inside.”

    “No, it’s all right,” you say. This is nice, you want to add. But you don’t know if that’s appropriate, and you can’t think of anything to say instead, so you just leave the sentiment hanging in the icy air.

    “I realised I never asked what you’re doing with yourself these days,” Roger says.

    “Ah, just working,” you reply. “I’m a market research analyst.”

    “Oh, right. How long have you been doing that for?”

    “Since I finished uni, really. Well, I worked my way up. Started as an intern in web content writing, realised I preferred data analysis, so I wormed my way into market research. But I’ve been an analyst for almost ten years now.”

    Roger ponders this. “Do you enjoy it?”

     “Yeah,” you say with a nod. “I know it sounds boring. Most people think I’m mad for not only wanting to do my job, but actually enjoying it, but I do.”

    Roger smiles, and it’s a fond smile, a smile that you used to see all the time, and you feel a stab in your chest. A voice in the back of your mind whispers, Do you remember what it feels like to be loved like that? When was the last time Will smiled at you like that? When was the last time he smiled at you at all?

    You push that voice aside. You’re just lonely, and hurt, and sad. You’re reading far too much into a simple smile.

    “I think it’s great that you love it,” Roger says. “How lucky you found something you enjoy doing so early in your career.”

    You’re taken a little off-guard, and you duck your head to hide your smile. “Yeah, I guess I am lucky.”

    You take a sip of champagne.

    “Speaking of lucky – who’s the lucky man?”

    You try not to cringe. “Oh. Uh.” You glance down at the wedding ring that caught Roger’s eye. “Yes. Um, his name is Will. We met at a work do, actually. Been married eight years.”

    “He couldn’t make it tonight?”

    “No.” You don’t elaborate.

    Roger says nothing to that, and you wonder if he’s picked up on the bitterness in your tone, as much as you tried to hide it.

    “Right,” Roger says eventually. He clears his throat. “Any kids?”

    “Yes,” you say, and there’s no pretending now – the love in your voice is real. “April. She’s three.”

    “April,” Roger muses. “Lovely name.”

    “Thank you.” You grin at him. “Actually, this is going to sound so strange, but I always thought to myself that I wanted to be as good of a parent to my kids as you were to yours.”

    Roger blinks at you – his eyes are still big and blue, but you doubted even God himself could change that – and, if you’re not mistaken, you can see his face start to colour in the beam of the balcony light. “Oh,” he says. “That’s… one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

    You chuckle. “Well, it’s true. You were such an amazing dad. I’m sure you still are.”

    “I try to be.”

    “How old are they now? Gosh, they’d all be finished high school now, wouldn’t they?”

    “Yeah,” Roger says, shaking his head in disbelief. “Yes, um, my youngest, Sam, she graduated last year. She’s taking a year off this year, working and travelling. Daphne’s the oldest, if you remember, and she’s moving in with her girlfriend soon. She still lives at her mum’s, but her and Asha have been looking for a place for a few months now. She’s an industrial designer. Then there’s Fox, he’s a musician, he’s a bassist, and Sophie’s still at uni, she’s studying theatre, and she wants to do a master’s in artistic directing.”

    “Wow,” you say. You never got to know his kids personally too well – you met them a handful of times, but you were far too nervous to spend too much time with them back in the day. The last time you saw them, Daphne hadn’t even started high school. Sam was still learning to talk. “Wow, that’s– they’re so grown-up now.”

    “God, you don’t have to tell me,” Roger says with a chuckle.

    You shake your head, sighing, and drink some more champagne. “Do you have a lucky lady, then?”

    Roger’s face tightens, and he looks down at his left hand, splaying his fingers, but you don’t see a ring. He tucks his hand into his pocket. “I’ve been seeing someone for two months now, almost three,” he says. “Jean. I teach one of her kids. She’s lovely.”

    “Jean,” you repeat. “She couldn’t make it tonight?”

    Roger shakes his head. “No. She’s a nurse, so she often works nights.” He pauses, and then says quickly, “She’s fifty.”

    You can’t help but laugh. “Right.”

    “I didn’t want you to think that I always go for younger women,” Roger explains hastily. “You were an outlier. A wonderful outlier, but an outlier nonetheless.”

    “‘A wonderful outlier’,” you muse, a touch playfully. “Could be the name of my memoir.”

    “It could very well be,” Roger says.

    Something doesn’t sit quite right. It seems impossible that someone wouldn’t have married Roger in sixteen years. Surely he’s not just been dating on and off that whole time. Not a guy like him.

    Don’t pry, you tell yourself. Don’t pry, don’t pry, don’t pry– “I don’t mean to pry,” you say, and hate yourself for it, “but – did you ever get remarried, or…?”

    Roger looks a little taken aback.

    “Sorry,” you say. “That’s so rude, I’m sorry.”

    “What gave it away?” Roger says.

    You bite your lip. “You, um, looked at your left hand. No ring.”

    Roger nods. “Hm. Well. Got it in one.” He shoots you a wry smile, but you can see that he’s uncomfortable. “You seem to keep appearing in my life after I’ve gone through a divorce.”

    “I’m so sorry,” you say. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

    “It’s all right,” Roger says. “It was a year ago now, just about.”

    “Were you married long?”

    “Twelve years.”

    “Christ, Roger, I’m sorry.”

    Roger just shrugs, and sniffs, staring out at the apartments and houses beyond the balcony. But you can see the tension in his shoulders.

    “I’m divorcing my husband,” you blurt out.

    Roger looks to you. “I thought so,” he says carefully. “I could see it in your face when I asked about him.”

    You chew on the inside of your cheek. “Yeah.”

    “I’m sorry.”

    You shake your head. “Don’t be. He deserves it.”

    Roger grimaces. “Oh.”

    “He’s been cheating. But I want to wait until after Christmas to– to do all of that. To tell him I’m leaving him, the lawyers, the paperwork. So April doesn’t have to go through it during Christmas. I don’t want to ruin it for her.”

    Roger nods in understanding. He looks for a moment like he wants to reach out and touch you, comfort you, maybe, but he doesn’t. He just nods again and says, “You’re a good mum.”

    Your throat tightens, and you have to look away. You don’t dare to try to thank him for the compliment. The last thing you need is to break down at a Christmas party in front of your ex.

    “I’m sorry,” Roger says.

    You manage a forced laugh, turning to him. “For what?”

    “I don’t know,” he says. “I just… felt like I needed to say it.”

    You drink him in. The moment feels familiar somehow, and simultaneously foreign altogether.

    You sniff, but, luckily, no tears have fallen, and you take a breath to compose yourself.

    “Can I get you another drink?” Roger offers, holding out his hand to take your empty flute.

    “No, I shouldn’t,” you say. “I’ve had more than enough.” You chuckle. “I don’t remember ever saying that when we dated.”

    You expect Roger to laugh along with you, but instead he blinks in shock at you. “Oh, er, I– I also never– I’m glad you…”

    “You’re glad what, I enjoyed getting shitfaced?” you tease, not quite understanding his confusion.

    His eyes go wide. “Oh, drinking. Yes, well, everyone’s like that at uni a bit, aren’t they?” He chuckles uncomfortably, and then rushes out, “Just getting a drink,” and disappears inside.

    You frown to yourself. ‘Oh, drinking’? What else could you have possibly meant?

    Unless Roger thought you were referring to–

    Surely not.

    Referring to the sex?

    Your stomach drops to your feet. “Oh, God,” you groan softly, hiding your face behind your hand. You hope Roger doesn’t think you’re flirting with him.

    That’d be a story to tell the kids, wouldn’t it? Or to tell Jean. Hey, love, guess what happened last night? Ran into an ex, I dated her almost twenty years ago for a couple months, and we weren’t even chatting for more than half an hour before she was cracking onto me. Even though she’s married. Turns out I still got it!

    A shiver rocks through you, and you realise you can’t feel your fingers, but you’re loathe to head back inside. It’s nice out here, in the snow and ice, in a stiff, numb sort of way.

    Roger reappears not long after, wine in hand. “Thought you’d have headed back inside by now.”

    “I probably should,” you say, and cross your arms to warm up your hands. “But no, I don’t think I will.”

     “Do you mind if I stay out here with you?”

     You smile. “Not at all.”

     You don’t know for how long the two of you stand out there. With each passing minute, more of the awkwardness and discomfort slips away. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but soon the two of you are chatting away like no time has passed at all, laughing and bickering.

     He tells you more about the kids, and you tell him about April. He tells you about his second ex-wife – a title that he despises, and, for a while, you let him bemoan the notion that maybe he’s just a terrible husband  before you tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself.

    Mostly, you both reminisce about the past. About the good times and the bad.

    “It was mostly good, though,” you say. “I like to think it was mostly good.”

    Roger nods thoughtfully. “I think it was, yeah,” he says.

    “I can’t even remember how we broke up.”

    Roger snorts. “Are you joking?”

    You shake your head, shrugging. “No. I remember going through the break-up period, which took me far longer to get over than I’m willing to admit to you.”

    Roger grins. “Oh, yeah?” he teases.

    “No, don’t,” you warn him with a laugh. “You’re not getting an ego boost from me.”

    “Did you cry every night? Have a photo of me under your pillow? Eat lots of ice cream and watch rom-coms?”

    “Shut up, I’m not saying a word.”

    Roger laughs, and the sound of it makes your heart sing. “You’re not saying no.”

    You roll your eyes. “I was in a lot of pain for a long time,” you say. “There, are you happy?”

    Roger’s smile fades, and he looks down at his feet. “No, of course that doesn’t make me happy,” he says. He looks back to you. “For what it’s worth, I probably took even longer to get over you.”

    You study his face. It’s a little more weathered, a little more lined, but it’s a face you missed for a very long time. “What happened?” you ask, so softly it’s almost a whisper, like you wouldn’t dare to speak the question any louder. “I… I really liked you, Rog. A lot. Loved you, even, although I– I didn’t know what love felt like at the time. Where did we go wrong?”

    Roger swallows, and shakes his head minutely, his eyes drinking in yours. “I don’t know,” he murmurs. “Wrong place, wrong time. But I…” He cuts himself off, and takes a deep breath, looking away.

    “But what?”

    “Nothing.” Roger gives you a small smile. “I’ve never met Will, but he sounds like the stupidest man alive to hurt you like that.”

    You snort a laugh. “Well. I’m sure he doesn’t think so.”

    “It’ll be too late by the time he figures it out. Stupid men are like that.”

    You don’t know what to say to that, so you don’t say anything at all. All you can think is that Roger really hasn’t changed much at all, and that Jean is a very fortunate woman.

    Your phone buzzes, and you pull it out of your pocket to check it. “Ah, shit,” you mutter. It’s Will. April’s come down with a fever, the text says. Need you home.

    “Is everything all right?” Roger asks.

    You pocket your phone again. “April’s sick,” you say. “Duty calls.”

    “Right, of course. Let me walk you inside.”

    He opens the sliding door for you, and waves you in. “Age and beauty,” he says, and it catches you unaware, makes you laugh.

    “I forgot you say that,” you say. It’s a play on age before beauty – Roger used to say that you bested in him both age and beauty, so the original phrase didn’t fit, and he insisted on saying his version of it every time he opened a door for you. Which was often. He liked that his silly little phrase made you giggle and give him a gentle slap on the arm.

    “I haven’t said it in a long time, actually,” Roger says with a grin, closing the door behind him, trapping you both in the warmth, along with the music and conversation. “Not since you.”

    You both stand there for a moment, grinning at each other, unsure how to proceed, and you feel a familiar squeeze of your heart. “I need to go,” you say, almost apologetically.

    “Yes,” Roger says.

    “I…” You hesitate. “Wait for me at the door, I just want to make the rounds, say quick goodbyes to everyone.”

    “Sure,” Roger says, and you give his arm a quick squeeze, then track down Naoise and Chin to say your thank-yous and farewells, then Justine, then a couple of other people.

    You grab your purse, and meet Roger at the front door. “I had a really nice time tonight,” you tell him. “Thank you.”

    “I was just about to say the same thing,” he says.

    You’re unsure what to say, but then an idea strikes you. “Do you want my number? It’d be nice to keep in touch.”

    “Oh, yes, of course,” Roger says. “That’d be lovely.”

    He hands over his phone, and you save your number. “Give me a call whenever,” he says, as you hand his phone back. “If you need someone to talk to, y’know. Or just for a chat. Divorces are… really not fun.”

    You chuckle wryly. “Well, I suppose you’re the expert, aren’t you?”

    “God, you’re just as rude as I remember,” Roger says with a roll of his eyes, laughing alongside you.

    He stops in his tracks, his gaze towards the ceiling.

    You tilt your head up. A decorative sprig of mistletoe hangs above the door.

    You and Roger look at each other, your faces both pink.

    Your heart clenches. Yes, Jean is a very fortunate woman indeed. “Funny,” you say with a nervous chuckle.

    “Yeah, weird,” Roger says. “I don’t think I’ve ever even seen mistletoe in real life before.”

    “Me, either.”

     Another moment passes. “In another lifetime,” you say with a smile.

    Roger takes a breath, and there’s something in his eyes, something you haven’t seen for a long time, and he nods, smiling back. “Yeah,” he says. “Right time, right place.”

    You nod again, drinking this in, and sigh. “Okay, well, I really do need to go. I’m sure Will is on the verge of panic without me there.”

    “Of course,” Roger says. “I hope April’s all right.”

    “Thanks, Rog.” On a spur of the moment, you give him a peck on the cheek, and then let yourself out. “Merry Christmas.”

    “Merry Christmas,” he says. “I might see you soon?”

    “You will,” you say. Your ride is almost here, so you give one final wave, and head to the lift.

    The door closes.

    You take the lift down and climb into the car.

    You go home, say hello to your husband, and take care of your daughter.

    That night, you sit in the dining room, nursing a hot chocolate, listening to the silence of the house.

    Then, and only then, do you allow yourself to cry.

     Your wallowing was short-lived, though - swiftly interrupted by a phone call from an unknown number.

     You wipe your nose on your sleeve, grimacing, and answer. “Hello?”

    “[Y/N]?”

     You’re gobsmacked. “Roger?”

     “I- I wasn’t expecting you to answer. I was just... going to leave a voice message to say this was my number.”

     You let out a pitiful bubble of laughter. “Why didn’t you just text?”

     There’s a pause, and then an embarrassed, “Oh, yes. I could’ve done that.”

     You sniff. “It’s fine, no harm done. I’ll let you get to bed, it’s late.”

    “Right,” Roger says. “Um, how’s- how’s April?”

    “She’s good, yeah, thanks for asking. Gave her some painkillers and she went right to sleep.”

    “Good, that’s good.”

    “Yes.” You sniff again, wetly, and quickly wipe at your nose a second time. “Ah, well, I, um... should probably...”

    “Go, yes,” Roger says. “Sorry. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

    “No, no, not at all,” you reassure him. “I was just, um, having a hot chocolate.”

    “Right, sounds important.”

     You laugh. “It’s very important.”

    “I’m sure it is. I’ll let you get back to it, then.”

    “I appreciate it.”

     You realise you’re smiling to yourself like a loon. “Thanks for calling,” you say.

     Roger chuckles. “No worries at all. And, um, seriously. If you need someone to talk to, at any time, please just call me. I couldn’t bear the thought of you, I don’t know, sitting alone and crying, or something like that.”

     You almost laugh out loud. “Thank you, Rog. I’ll make sure to save your number.”

    “Please do, so I don’t have to call you in the middle of the night again.”

     You smile. “G’night.”

    “Night, [Y/N].”

     You hang up.

     Your hot chocolate tastes a little sweeter than it did before.

[teatitty]

Jailhouse Rock

A/N: Hey remember when I said I wanted to write a traditional fantasy AU with Patrochilles and DiarCu? This is based in that. I hate copy-pasting things to tumblr bc it never keeps my italics and I’m too lazy to edit this so here it is on AO3 as well

Days of peace were rare for Patroclus; even rarer still were the days without Achilles or Cu Chulainn around to stir up mischief. On his own, Patroclus liked to think he was a perfect example of good behaviour and that his own troublemaking was nothing more than a direct result of knowing two of the biggest arseholes this side of the continent, but whenever he voiced such a thing out loud, the response from his companions was always an intense roll of the eyes and a bark of laughter, so maybe he was just lying to himself.

Given his current predicament, that certainly seemed to be the case. In retrospect, he should’ve figured he’d end up getting arrested one of these days, but when you spend most of your time in the company of two people who somehow - consistently - manage to get themselves out of trouble, well, you sort of forget that consequences for your actions are a thing you need to worry about.

In his own defense, he hadn’t planned on getting arrested. It isn’t much of a defense, because he cannot recall a single person who has ever wanted to get thrown into a jail cell with shackles on their wrists (it didn’t matter that his own had been taken off earlier, it mattered that they’d bothered to put any on him in the first place), but he also hasn’t met every single person on the planet, so he supposes the defense counts for something.

He wonders who Achilles will be angrier at when he finds out about this; Patroclus, for punching the stupid fucking Guard in the face and breaking his pompous nose, or the Guard himself, for calling re-inforcements and manhandling Patroclus into this dingy, damp little cell. It’s not a matter of if Achilles will find out, so much as when he finds out, and Patroclus can only hope it’s soon, because he’s only been in here for a few hours and he’s already bored out of his god-damned mind.

The Guards posted outside of his cell won’t even talk to him. It’s extremely rude, in his opinion, not to entertain a guest when they’re groaning pitifully on the floor, even if said groaning was mostly due to the head pain. He really needs to learn the name of the Guard who clonked him. Bastard had a real mean arm and Patroclus itches to get some sort of revenge for the hit.

Alas, it doesn’t seem as though he’ll be getting that information anytime soon. He’ll just have to track the guy down once he gets sprung from this place and then clonk them from behind and see how they like it.

“You know,” he says conversationally, “if you ask me, I did you all a favour. I mean, he just has one of those voices, you know? The really annoying ones? The ones that just invite you to hit someone?” Nothing. Typical. Patroclus sighs up at the ceiling with exaggerated effort. “I love our little talks. Can’t get enough of them, truly.”

Maybe, if he talks long enough, one of them will actually tell him to shut up instead of just trying to glare holes into him through their helmets. Patroclus snorts at the thought. If that worked, then Achilles would’ve been dead a hundred times over by now. Or just covered in a lot more scars than he already has. Which is none. Obviously. Ugh, he really needs to get better company.

As if the Gods themselves heard his plea and were, for once in their lives, actually offering to help him, a commotion from the halls causes him to sit up with immense interest, and the Guards by his cell close their eyes and actually groan.

Whoever is being led - in chains? Sounds like it - down the hall, everyone clearly knows them, because even the other prisoners, who’ve been silent until now, start murmuring curses to themselves.

Finally, Patroclus thinks, some variety.

“ - I just think that in the grand scheme of things - and purely for everyone else’s interest, of course - that stealing a few rings from the locals isn’t that big of a deal when I’m just going to be selling them later. I’m helping the economy! Helping you pass money from one hand to another and get it circulating. How’s your wife, by the way, is she still getting the bad cramps? Of course she is. I can see it in your face. You really should take my advice and -”

“Diarmuid.” A Guard has never sounded so long-suffering before.

“Hm?”

“Shut up and get in the damn cell.”

Surprisingly enough, with a huge stroke of good fortune, the cell that this blessing in disguise - Diarmuid, his name is Diarmuid, Patroclus reminds himself. He’s never been very good at names - is dancing his way into, happens to be Patroclus’ very own, and he finds himself looking at a man who is decidedly, one hundred percent, not human at all.

Patroclus grins, absolutely delighted by this turn of events. Diarmuid, noticing that he is not alone in this cell, cocks his head to the side and just sort of. Stands there. Presumably blinking at him, but it’s hard to tell behind the tinted glasses perched on his nose. “Oh my gods,” Patroclus says before he can stop himself, “are you an elf?”

“No,” replies Diarmuid slowly. “But I can see why you’d think that.”

“He’s a menace,” one of the Guards mutters and Patroclus’ grin only widens.

“I knew you could talk,” he tells them and then to Diarmuid he says, “you have no idea how long I’ve been trying to get them to say something.”

“Oh,” Diarmuid says, “I’m not hallucinating then.”

“Not used to having company?”

“Not usually.”

He looks - well, if Patroclus had to hazard a guess, he’d say that Diarmuid looks completely out of his depth. “Don’t worry,” Patroclus tells him. “I don’t bite.” Which isn’t entirely a lie. He doesn’t bite usually but all bets are off when tavern brawls happen.

Diarmuid’s nose wrinkles. “Is that a hickey?”

It is, actually, though it’s a wonder he can see it at all amidst the other bruising. “I don’t bite,” Patroclus repeats, “but my boyfriend’s a bit of a dick.”

Something in Diarmuid’s posture relaxes at that admission, which is very interesting, and Patroclus pats the spot beside himself invitingly. He’s actually surprised when Diarmuid sits next to him. He’s less surprised that there’s an obvious gap being kept between them and that, unlike himself, Diarmuid’s posture remains straight and alert.

“Soooo…” Patroclus starts, “what are you in for?”

“That’s the best you could do, huh?”

Oh, a snarky one is he? Good thing Patroclus is used to that, or he might actually find this guy irritating. “What do you want me to start with, then? The fact that you’re apparently a regular visitor here? That you probably know everyone’s first names and family histories?”

“I wish he didn’t,” mutters the other Guard forlornly.

“Shut up,” hisses the first one, “don’t encourage them.”

“Too late for that,” they say in unison. The Guards curse.

There’s a long beat of silence as Patroclus waits to see if Diarmuid will reply to his earlier question. His patience pays off when, finally, Diarmuid sighs and says, “I got caught selling stolen goods for twice the profit.”

Patroclus whistles. “Impressive.” He means it. Sure, he got caught doing it, but the fact he had the balls to try at all - and, by the sounds of it, actually managed to make some of said profit - is worth applauding.

“And you?”

Patroclus shrugs. “Broke someone’s nose.”

“Holy shit,” Diarmuid breathes, “you’re the guy who finally shut Claudius’ trap up?”

“His name is Claudius?” A nod. “No wonder he’s such a dick, then. Hey! Tell your boss that I don’t regret what I did, alright? With a name like that, he had it coming to him!”

“You’re going to get a longer sentence if you do that.” Diarmuid sounds amused as anything. Patroclus grins back at him. He wonders how long Diarmuid’s sentence is and how many times he’s gotten his way out of it.

“Nah,” he says. “I’ll be out by tomorrow.”

“Because of your boyfriend?”

“Something like that.”

“Lucky,” Diarmuid whines. “I have to rely on my natural charm, and here you are getting Out Of Jail cards for free.”

They’re only ‘free’ if you don’t count the cost on Patroclus’ brain cell capacity, because for all that he loves Achilles with his entire soul, his boyfriend is, in fact, an idiot, and this has only seemed to get worse since they met Cu Chulainn a few years back. How does that saying go again? ‘Birds of a feather flock together?’

What does it say about him that he’s part of this flock? Nothing good, probably, so best not to think too much about it.

“Are you a vampire?”

“Okay, now you’re just naming every creature with pointy ears.”

Patroclus slumps down in his seat. “I don’t have much else to go on.” And it doesn’t look like Diarmuid is going to willingly give him any hints. “A dragonborn, maybe?”

Alright, maybe that one's a little bit of a deep cut, given how rare they are these days, but, hey, if he’s going for every race with pointed ears then…

“Also,” he continues, “you’re not a ‘creature’ you’re just a different race to a human.”

“Flattering,” Diarmuid says dryly. Patroclus doesn’t really get how any of that is ‘flattering’ in any way, shape or form but then what does he know? He’s human, after all, so maybe he really has just said something that - whatever. Doesn’t matter. He’s making friends! Cu will be so proud of him.

Does he have a concussion? Probably. None of his thoughts are making any sense today.

“I’m not a dragonborn.”

Okay, strike two off the list.

“Or a vampire.”

Strike three.

This would be so much easier if he wasn’t just relying on ‘ears pointy’ because that...really doesn’t narrow it down a whole lot. Are there really that many races with pointed ears? How has he never noticed this before? “You sure you’re not an elf? Or, like, elf adjacent?”

“If you were anyone else,” says Diarmuid, “I would’ve hit you for that. Luckily for you, I’m pretty sure you’re just a mouthy moron like I am, so congrats on saving your own skin, I guess.”

“It’s a gift,” he grins.

Diarmuid snorts. Progress is being made. Fuck yeah. “You’re not used to being in a cell, are you?”

Patroclus shrugs. “Not particularly.”

“First time?”

Oh now that’s just too easy a line to pass up. “Being in the company of a gorgeous man like yourself?” His lashes flutter and Diarmuid actually looks a little bit bewildered. “Hardly.”

“You...have a boyfriend.”

Astute of him.

“I do,” he agrees. “We have a comfortable and confident relationship.” By which he means that they’re allowed to flirt with whoever they want, whenever they want, it’s just dating and sex that are off limits until further discussion. Diarmuid - doesn’t really seem to get what he means. Which. Okay then. “Flirting is fine,” he clarifies with an easy tone.

“Oh.”

He still sounds a bit miffed by the whole thing so, in an effort to bring them back to their earlier comfort levels, Patroclus says, “lets play a game.”

Diarmuid stares at him. “A game,” he repeats.

“Just something to pass the time.”

“Am I going crazy or are you always like this?”

“It’s just me.” He feels no embarrassment in admitting it either. His mouth often moves faster than his brain can catch up, or his brain will move faster than his mouth, and rarely do they ever operate at the same capacity as each other. He forgets that not everyone can keep up with his rapid changes in conversation. Achilles’ mother is the only one who can understand him all of the time, but she’s back home in her river, so he has to - make an effort to slow down a little bit here.

How annoying.

“Ever heard of 21 Questions?”

The silence continues for long enough this time that Patroclus is almost completely certain he’s just gotten rejected. Diarmuid sighs. “Sure. I reserve the right to refuse answering anything personal, though.”

For all his earlier chatter, he’s surprisingly guarded and private. This, along with his keeping his own race a secret, intrigues Patroclus a lot more than it should. There’s a dull and distant warning bell ringing in his head; caution, it screeches, CAUTION.

“I reserve the same thing, then.”

Diarmuid blows some hair out of his face and, presumably, rolls his eyes behind his glasses. “I suppose,” he sighs dramatically. His lip twitches into a smile. Generously, Patroclus lets him go first. “What’s your name?”

He blinks, startled, and then laughs. “Oh I’m such an idiot,” he says and then holds out his hand. Diarmuid is wearing leather gloves under his shackles. Interesting. “It’s Patroclus. Pleasure to meet you.”

His grip is a little firmer than Patroclus expected but nowhere near the strength of Cu Chulainn’s. Which is a bit of an unfair comparison considering Cu’s specific bloodline but. Well. He doesn’t have a whole lot of non-human references to go on. Diarmuid holds himself as though he’s waiting to get shanked in the gut and Patroclus, ever so politely, asks, “what’s your favourite drink?”

Diarmuid blinks. “What?”

“Ah-ah-ah,” he chides, wagging his finger. “Not your turn to ask a question.”

“...tequila,” Diarmuid says at last.

“Oh that’s strong! I thought you might be an ale drinker, what with all the leathers and the -” he gestures to the window of the cell, hoping to encompass the city as a whole.

“Ah,” says Diarmuid. “Ale’s too bitter for me.”

“And tequila isn’t?”

His lip quirks. “Not your turn.”

“Right you are! Continue, then.”

“Who's your boyfriend?”

He doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Achilles.”

Diarmuid promptly chokes, as do the Guards outside. “You’re kidding. You don’t mean - you can’t mean -”

Patroclus inclines his head, delighted by the reaction. Achilles is famous here! Who knew!

“Holy shit.” Diarmuid’s voice raises a few octaves. “He’s going to kill me.”

“I doubt it,” says Patroclus dryly. “He’s more likely to whine about me getting better prison company than he did.”

“I’m not talking about Achilles,” hisses Diarmuid. “I’m talking about Cu Chulainn!”

Wait.

Wait a second.

Patroclus takes a step back to examine the man before him. Dark, curly hair? Check. A penchant for getting arrested? From what he can gather, check. Pointy ears? Absolutely. And -

He leans closer to try and get a whiff of whatever scent Diarmuid carries.

-- the distinct smell of a winter breeze.

A lot of different things fall into place at once.

“You’re the friend that Cu’s been looking for. The one that lost his favourite jacket.”

“I’m dead,” says Diarmuid. “I’ve been trying to get it back for him and now I’m going to die before I get the chance.”

“Is that why you were selling stolen goods?”

Reluctantly, Diarmuid nods. “I know where it is,” he admits mulishly. “I just don’t have the money to buy it back.”

Patroclus thinks this over. He doesn’t have any money either. Fuck it, he thinks, we’re already criminals anyway.

“Okay,” he says. “If you can get us out of here, I’ll help you get it back.”

“Don’t even try it,” warns Guard number one.

Diarmuid gives Patroclus a pathetically hopeful look. “You will?”

“Yes. On the condition,” he continues, “that you return it to him in person.”

“You know where he is.”

“I know where he is.”

Diarmuid considers this for all of two seconds. “Deal.”

And then he slips out of his shackles and shatters the fucking window with them.

[incorrect-dying-light-quotes]

Pls tell us about Karim getting stepped on

TW for general violence

Ok so basically (sorry if this is incoherent I do all of my infodumps in greentext format so I’m trying to summarize it from that bear with me)

Karim is a whore wbk, and he’d let anyone tap, but he’s got a bit of a thing for Crane ya feel? When he first shows up at the garrison Karim is like so you’re a dumb bitch... and I’M a dumb bitch... and spends the whole time flirting with him pretty much. Ofc Crane only comes into the garrison a few times to argue with Rais and then leaves, but they keep talking over the radio. Rais overhears at some point and Beats The Shit Out Of Him and Karim is just like. damn. that shit sucks but am I gonna learn my lesson? NO lmao. Eventually he and Crane start meeting up in private and hee hoo forbidden romance except it’s not all that serious, they’re really just hanging out and occasionally they k*ss or.... or h*ld h*nds and they only really fuck once.

 Eventually someone from the garrison catches them and snitches to Rais for some good boy points, and as Karim’s heading back after a Session (tm) he sees Rais standing at the gate looking considerably more menacing than he usually does and Karim’s like ah. shit. He hops over the fence and Rais immediately starts lecturing him more frantically and angrily than usual and drags him into the courtyard by the hair like an angry grandma. 

Rais gets mad at Karim regularly and usually will give just a light punishment, and Karim’s been in the pit a few times but because Rais and everyone else actually like him they go easy on him and he always comes out fine but this time Rais is understandably fucking pissed. Rais and Tahir take him down to the pit and Karim’s just like ah this is fine. Small price to pay for america dick. 

So they get to the pit and the three of them r standing on The Platform and Karim’s surveying the pit to see how much he’ll have to try, there’s an extra container meaning more biters but they’re just biters so it’s fine right. But no it’s not fine because Rais shoves Karim in without lowering the platform first and Karim breaks his right ankle upon hitting the ground and is like AH DAMN!!!! WHTA THE FUCK !! !! !

Rais fires his gun to agitate the infected who proceed to break out of the containers, and Karim is just like ieaoefejsjkhfkehrse. He hops over on one foot to the nearest container and climbs on top of it for brief safety and is like fuck man fuck. 

Some Virals come at him first which is fine, he takes care of them all just fine by either bonking them on the head hard enough that they just cease to exist or by pushing them off the container onto the spike traps below, but the last one takes a few hits and gives Karim a bit of a hard time and scratches him up a bit but overall he comes out fine. 

Karim does the ol throw some firecrackers and light a propane tank and just blo them all up strat, which works for most of the biters and that’s great because my guy can’t fucking walk. So most of the biters die on impact, the ones who did live can’t get up and are therefore not a threat. probably. 

He gets down off of the container assuming all of the infected are dead and he gets to go back inside now but apparently not. There’s two more Virals which he takes care of, though with some difficulty cuz he’s on the ground now. 

He’s then like okay NOW I’m done right? And goes over to where Rais is standing expecting him to let him go now, but he doesn’t lower the platform at all and Karim’s like. bruh. And Rais lectures him about being a whore and betraying him one time too many yadda yadda nothing he hasn’t heard before. And then he sees someone manning the crane (heh) and drops the Demolisher Container down there and Karim is like. oh god. fuck. And picks up a shitty machete off the ground and tries to figure out what to do

The Demolisher charges out of the container and at him and he jumps out of the way, landing on his bad foot on accident and being liek OIUEAUFEHJ. He ducks behind a container because PAIN and also still trying to figure out what to do. Demolisher throws a slab of concrete at the container and Karim’s just like oaebkaebk. eoabejkab. ekabekjb. And figures he just has to be careful and take his time. So he gets up to Face It Like A Man

He fights the Demolisher as you’re supposed to, waiting for him to charge and jumping out of the way, only attacking him when he’s tired. He does fairly well, manages to break his helmet off in a few tries and only lands on his bad foot once. He backs away in preparation for the next charge, getting ready to hit him as hard as he can, but one of the biters he didn’t kill grabs his leg and pulls him to the ground.

Karim is like oh god oh fuck and tries to kick the biter away and get back up but it’s really going ham and isn’t letting go. The Demolisher charges again and Karim is like. change da world. my final message. goodb y e. And the Demolisher just steps right on him. There’s an ungodly fucking cracking sound and Karim is just UEAAEEAEAEAE. Audience is yelling. but Luckily for him the Biter let go and the Demolisher is out of breath, so Karim manages to pull himself off the ground and stumble into a nearby container while the Demolisher isn’t looking so he’s in a good hiding place for now. 

He proceeds to throw up a shit ton of blood. Like a lot. A very bad amount. And thinks he’s dying and he’s never been in this much pain in his life. He starts to panic a bit as he hears the Demolisher pacing around the pit looking for him. He somehow manages to stand up, and holy shit his fucking bones dude. ow. god damn. He throws up a bit more and then leans against the side of the container, trying to figure out what to do. The Demolisher only needed one or two good hits to the head and he’d be gone but Karim obviously was in no shape to do that. 

Karim’s like fuck it. Propane tank thing again. Because he doesn’t really have anything to do and at this point for him it’s do or die. And he sure is dying. Problem is he’s gonna have to manage to hit it hard enough and also throw it far enough which he probably can’t do. But luckily for him there’s a bundle of firecrackers right there next to him. So he figures his best bet is to lure the Demolisher behind the container, hit the tank, and roll it as hard as he can and take cover in the container, and there’s like a 30% chance the Demolisher will die instead of him. Which is better than 0%. So he’s like alright I got this. 

He lights the firecrackers and throws them a good ways away, and the Demolisher gets agitated by the sound and charges towards it. Karim picks up a pipe and uses the last ounce of his strength to hit the nozzle of the propane tank and rolls it over to him as hard as he can before ducking back inside. He lays down and covers his ears and hopes he doesn’t die. Shit goes explodey and after a few seconds he opens his eyes and is like. I’m not dead. Unless this is hell. but then he realizes it’s very quiet and he pokes his head out and sees that it’s fucking dead babey!!!!!!! he did it!!!!!!!!!! fuck yeah!!!!!!!!

So he pulls himself up and hobbles over to Rais and Tahir who are now lowering the platform. Tahir looks hella relieved that you’re even alive and Rais looks just as pissed as before with a hint of disappointment. Karim collapses in front of them and throws up some more, Rais says something he doesn’t hear bc his ears are ringing loud as hell. Probably something about how he’s disappointed you’re still alive but he’s not unfair so since you lived you’re allowed to walk out. Tahir carefully picks him up and he proceeds to pass out in his arms. 

He wakes up a few minutes later as he’s still being carried and then he realizes how cold he is and wakes up and he’s like oh. outside. boy it sure is dark out here haha what are you guys doing? Tahir gently sets him down on the grass outside the fence and Karim’s like wht. And Rais explains that if he can survive a night with the Volatiles in his current state then he’s welcome back to the Garrison, but otherwise he can get fucked. 

Karim is like god dammit as the two of them walk away and he just lays in the grass. He’s like hm . wet grass. nice feeling :^)). a bitch delirious rn. Eventually he pulls himself up and drags himself over to the front gate and talks to the guards and tries to get them to help him. He’s like I’ll suck your dick if you let me use your radio. the guard is like hell yeah and lets him use it. So he manages to contact the tower and say that he needs H E L P . 

Crane comes, guards don’t shoot him because Karim said so. Crane picks him up and carries him to the nearest secure building, not a safe house becaues the nearest one is way too far away. Crane sits down with him and tends to the few wounds he can help with and says that if he’s still alive in the morning he’ll bring his doctor over. Karim’s like ight lit. nice cock by the way and passes out again

Then the next morning Crane brings Lena over and also Karim’s ex gf Eliza who is a nurse in the Garrison shows up to help and they fix him up as much as they can and Crane ends up taking him to the tower so he can recover. the end

[glasyasbutch]

i'm on a rampage...... d10 option, two per question if you wanna (though some of these are geared for characters you've actually played). for the 100 warm up questions: 34 (roll or pick, i guess?), 48, 50 (roll/pick), 73, 100!

i finally answer this ask after two days of thinking about it and not writing out anything asmr ...................

34. What does your character admire and dislike most about the player sitting to your left?

Ezra: Since we’ve only played on discord I rolled for it and got Pointy :3

He admires her courage - she never hesitates to run into melee and maybe it’s a doesn’t think things through kind of running, but she’s done it enough times after getting hurt pretty bad that he has to assume that there’s some sense of “I can help, so I’m going to” in there, and that’s something that speaks to his core as a sign of a good person. Not necessarily and admiration thing but that is also New Baby Sister.

What he dislikes ... it’s kind of too early to tell since we haven’t had Much time to really just like. get to know each other??? Like there’s nothing she’s done that he’s :/ about.

Craving: I’m using our old suite sitting arrangement bc doing this with Judhas is so so sexy

She admires how confident he is. All her confidence is a front, but everything Judhas has shown to her so far seems like he got shit on his whole life like she did, but he came out the other side thinking that he’s powerful and smart and right and has a future (even if it is in Hell) and she wants so badly to be able to feel the same about herself.

She dislikes. pretty much everything else. #1 shitty thing is his rancid vibes towards manic. #2 shitty thing is sending innocent souls to hell. #3 shitty thing is his mind talking. He uses its way too much and its kinda creepy and he always does it to people he doesn’t know and it freaks them out. #4 shitty thing is that he doesn’t like playing uno. #5 shitty thing is that he fucked up at the druid house and blew their cover and craving’s still mad about it #6 shitty th

48. What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about?

Stella: She wants to know ... if anyone is ever going to revive her clan. She knows theres other survivors out there, she’s met a couple. Just after the fire no one really wanted to go back because of painful memories, and she gets that, but she gets a little sad thinking that absolutely everything is gonna be lost. She’s hoping they can maybe get a group to go back and even if they don’t go back to living there full time like they used to, you know, maybe they can have Something again. She’d like to go back to something that’s not a skeleton in the closet.

Roona: I mean like, she wants to know what the fuck Sepia Thanos is trying with these amulets. She’d like to know if she’ll get out of black and white hell. But beyond that, she actively doesn’t want to know what’s coming for her. She likes surprises. What’s the point of knowing what’s ahead of you, then you’ll just get lost thinking about it instead of what’s happening right now.

50. Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, under dire circumstances?

Ebbie: Like, Mia, cause that’s an entire baby. If anyone in the party other than him is going to die it probably shouldn’t be the 11 year old.

Tov: Hm. This one’s tough. There’s no one in the party that he’s attached at the hip to and would rescue in a “I can’t live without you” kind of way, nor is there anyone in the party that he feels like has a special reason to need rescuing (such as. Is a child.) or that he worries won’t be able to fend for themself. Probably Rowan? Both because Rowan can do healing magic and also because Rowan seems like the least likely to get defensive about getting saved. (Also like, Savra’s not part of the party but she hangs around them a fair amount so I do need to say like 110% he’s saving savra’s life if it comes down to it)

73. If your character knew that they were going to die in a month, how would they spend the rest of their life?

Gildy: Really wouldn’t change much at all. Finish up some smithing projects she’s had in the works. Spend time with her kids and grandkids (Isaac included). She’s old, she’s accepted that time isn’t on her side, and she doesn’t have anything in her life that she feels like is a huge hole that needs to get filled. She’d be at peace with it. 

Hedja: I mean, if this is in an instance in which their god is still super fucking evil they’d spend the rest of that month fervently trying to un-corrupt him, because they’re afraid that if they die then Avachel slips permanantly into shadow. If this is in an instance in which he’s not corrupted yet or post-corruption. Idk. Plan a cool miracle to go out on. Give the people a show to remember them by.

100. What, currently, is your character the most curious about?

Udoora:  They haven’t done very much travelling, so just, she wants to see other cities and civilizations. She may not be a people person, but she’s very curious About other people, and she wants to see like. what they doing.

Nissy: LETH’S WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO THE FUCK PUSHED THE TIMETABLE UP, DOES SHE EVEN LIKE THE GUY, WHAT’S HER DRESS LOOK LIKE, HOLY SHIT IS SHE PREGNANT IS THIS A SHOTGUN WEDDING IS NISSY NO LONGER THE ONLY FAMILY SCANDAL

[lucifer-kane]

👀

it’s... pretty long... but that famous luca au that got to 5 pages before my brain blanked. but it was fun with what i have and i kinda... wanna revisit this au if i throw something into one of the sona zones bc it’s fun! Posting a lil bit longer than a snippet but i like it so wha

“Holy shit are you Luca Moon?” The shorter one asks and Luca looks up, a little surprised, his face quickly flushing a bit as he nods. He still didn’t know how to react when people noticed him, it was odd, luckily he wasn’t a big enough famous person to actually get recognized constantly. 

“I… I uh am yeah. Hi.” He nods and waves, oh so awkwardly, but he didn’t know how to be anything but that. There’s a laugh from the taller man beside him. 

“He loved you in that romance movie you did, the cheesy one.” Luca chuckles and grins a bit. 

“Still one of my favorite parts, that one. What did you think of it, Shotgun?” Sammy narrows his eyes after looking shocked for a moment and he shakes his head. 

“You listened to that garbage?” 

“Not much else to do when studying when you didn’t have television.” Luca shrugs and pockets one of the little keychains. “I can tell I like this show much more.” 

“Ha! Don’t give them any compliments, you’re just hearing the garbage in the daytime!” The smaller one, Ben, as he reads from a little plaque saying the name of the show, practically stands on the dinky table they have all their stuff on, to yell. 

“Pete!! If you don’t wanna listen to the show, just walk like a hundred feet, you’ll be deaf by the shitty music the SI booth is playing.” Luca can’t help but snort as he laughs, watching the exchange. 

“This normal?” Luca asks Sammy, watching as he grabs Ben by the back of his shirt to yank him back onto the ground. 

“More than you know.” Sammy deadpans. 

“I love this already, I might have to tune into your actual show sometime.” Luca says with a smile, taking a little plain looking business card with the shows phone number, station number, and twitters on it. 

“What are you even doing in our town anyways?” Ben asks, eyes wide, practically bouncing on his heels. 

“Parents wanted to come see the event, we haven’t been here since I was a kid, and I’m looking at a house for rent down the road a bit too.” 

“Woah, you’re moving to King Falls?” 

“Most likely, I remember liking it around here when I was a kid.” Ben looked confused again. “I grew up in Big Pine, came here a lot in the summer.” 

“Oh shit that’s cool! Did you know anyone from around here, like we probably saw each other at least once because I was always at the events.” Luca chuckles and gives a little shrug at the question. 

“Maybe? You do remind me of a little kid who was way too hyperactive, but it was cute.” Sammy laughs and nods, patting Ben on the back. 

“That was probably this one.” Ben pouts. 

“Yeah probably….. Anyone else?” Luca taps his chin for a moment and takes a second to think, there was some others he did remember a little bit, one stood out more than anyone else. 

“I remember fishing here when I was a teen a lot, so I got most of my supplies from the bait and tackle shop around here.” He can’t help the smile that crosses his face. “I remember a boy, pretty much the same age as me, and damn I liked him a lot. Didn’t realize it was a crush until way later. But I just knew he worked there, long dark brown hair, brown eyes.” Luca flushes and shakes his head, chuckling. “Wish I remembered his name.” 

“Ron! That has to be Ron.” Ben says quickly after he finished. 

“Yes! That’s it! Is… is he still around here?” 

“Yeah! Runs the shop now, best damn guy in town!” 

“Hm… I’ll have to remember that.” The three of them talk a little while longer, before they’re back on the air to talk more about something or another that Luca has no idea about. He makes his way around the lake, looking and stopping at almost all the vendors that are there, getting some terribly amazing fair type food that he hasn’t had in years. It’s a short walk before he comes up on a familiar little place, now with what seems like an extension on it that wasn’t there when he was younger. The sign is still the same, reading ‘Begley’s Bait and Tackle’ that was rustically faded. He’s drawn to it almost instantly. 

Inside is a little different, but still as comfortable as he remembers. As warm and inviting as a fishing shop can be in the middle of a small town, it was stocked full and seemed to also be a little gift shop as well. He gravitates towards a cute little plus of what looks like a mythical sea creature, a little tag around the neck that reads “Kingsie” and he remembers who that is easily. It was cute, and he tucks one under his arm almost instantly, keen on buying it then and there. Luca takes a bit of time to look around the rest of the shop and then makes his way up to the counter and rings the little bell there for service. It’s only a moment before a tall man comes out from the back, standing almost a head taller than Luca and he’s already grinning wide. 

This has to be Ron Belgey, he remembers the man easily because he was always smiling when he saw him as a teenager, always loud and happy. It was almost contagious, that smile. 

“Well damn, looks like I got a real celebrity in my little shack!” Luca flushes and shakes his head, putting the little plush toy on the counter. 

“Oh gosh, please don’t.” He’s smiling as he says it though, pulling out his wallet for the money to pay for the toy.  

[arianaistired]

My Experience Meeting Taylor (WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK)

@taylorswift THATS US WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

(also I just finished typing this and it’s so so fucking long I’m so sorry this is a warning. I don’t even get to rep room for so long I can’t breathe I’m so sorry)

Okay, so I’m at work right now, but I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about Saturday--which can really be the tagline for the past 3 days of my life--and then I realized that I haven’t posted a single thing about it on tumblr dot com!!! I’ve really not shut the fuck up about it on twitter but this is a whole new platform, a whole new WORLD that I have not tapped into and annoyed everyone by talking CEASELESSLY about this experience. Like I’m pretty sure that everyone is going to murder me on twitter if i don’t shut up soon, but we’re not there yet on papersairplane dot tumblr dot com so here we fucking go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay the story of my day on Saturday really begins on Friday night after Metlife night 1, a joyous occasion wherein Taylor Swift Touched My Hand at the barricade. So I was just like floating on a fucking cloud after that concert, trekking back to the lowly island of Long Island, New York and texting my friend jess @monica-geller. I was thinking about how I’ve done literally nothing to try to meet miss swift in my entire meaningless existence on this earth and I was thinking about how it doesn’t hurt to TRY so I was like hm. I’ll make a post!!! I didn’t but more on that later.

So i tell jess I’m gonna make a post and then in classic ariana fashion I just sit there on the train not making my post bc i was like deadass...I have nothing to say like nothing about me is particularly interesting it’s not like my house caught on fire and, in the absence of a fire hose, i used the soothing lyrics of stay beautiful from taylor swift’s debut album (2006) to will the flames into submission. like i just really love that woman i don’t have anything else TO SAY. omg side note i love how this started off with proper grammar and spelling and capitalization and now i’m talking like i don’t even know how to read. whatever. so then liz @lastskiss decides to get a fucking idk like a call from God Herself (stream god is a woman by ariana grande) and she’s like wow i should make ariana a post and i see her tweet and i’m life fuck it i’ve told her not to in the past but i’m tired and lazy and nothing’s gonna come of this anyway so i’ll let her make the post. so i text her my seat info and then i’m like “wow my work is done here i’m so talented for pressing send on the imessage app.”

so liz makes this post and is like “should i post it :O” and jess is like “yeah post it that dumb bitch is never gonna do anything herself” which...tea….and liz, being an intellectual in addition to being a magical wizard, is like “tea” and does it. Idk why this is a short novel already but i’m extremely bored at work and trying to get all the deets in. so this is at like i wanna say 1:45am EST aka everyone’s asleep except for liz in LA and jess in australia. so i reblog it once bc if you haven’t already grasped it i’m a lazy dumbass with low expectations and i go to sleep like “my work here is done.” so liz and jess and a few other beautiful souls by jesse mccartney reblog the post while i’m asleep, unbeknownst to me, and a few hours later at 8am i wake up and get ready for brunch. So i’m well aware that it’s gonna rain tonight so i’m like i should not put that much effort into my appearance bc i’m going to look like a drowned rat by the end of this day (stupid, but not untrue i really did) so i like actually do the bare minimum like i just basically put on whatever was most comfortable to dance around in the pouring rain in and then zoomed out the door for brunch bc it was in harlem at 12 and i was on long island at 9 so i was like g2g.

change of scenery now: i’m at brunch in harlem with a bunch of friends and soon to be friends and its 12:15 and i’m like “cool i’m with people from the internet so it’s not rood if i check twitter” and I do and i see a dm notification and i’m like oh the let me check. And check i did. And what the fuck was there??? 10 hours after liz hit send on that blessed post what was in my direct messages on the twitter for iphone app? That’s right friends and foes. It was a dm from one miss taylor nation. And what do i do???????????? I turn my phone face down on the table and my hands just start shaking and i’m pretty sure i blacked out as if i was having a petit mal seizure. So i come to, and pick my phone back up and send them my name, my number, and the best time for them to call (“you can call me at literally any time and i will pick up”) and i turn my phone face up on the table and stare at it. And stare. And stare…………...and an hour and a half (!!!) later FINALLY i get a call from miss nation. And i sprinted out of that restaurant. The poor waitress probably thought that denise @pettyswift had threatened to murder me with how fast i ran out of the premises. 10 mins later i return to the table and everyone’s staring at me with expectant gazes and i’m just like completely utterly non reactive like i think i was just in shock because i didn’t understand what was happening. Like i literally expected it to be merch lmaosafujkafn like so to get to speak to whoever that was on the phone and to hear her say the words “if all is fine and you get confirmed, you will be meeting taylor tonight” was jsut….a shock to the system to say the least. So i was still anticipating it to go wrong because like what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK????? Anwyay. So i get the confirmation and i’m still completely nonreactive but i call my friend anthony @shakeitoffs to tell him (sidenote: i know we’re not supposed to tell anyone but like. I was going with him to the concert i had to. Like i was already under a lot of stress i’m sure everyone understands if i didn’t follow all the rules to a t) and i say goodbye to the table and i start making my journey from harlem to new jersey.

fast forward a few hours to ~4pm and literally the only thoughts in my brain are “what the fuck” “i’m so scared” and “can jess wake the fuck up” like idk why i was so concerned with jess waking up asjkfas like i just NEEDED HER TO WAKE UP. so anthony and i make our journey to metlife because i needed to be at will call between 4-5 to pick up my rep room pass. Anthony’s buzzing, i’m on the verge of throwing up, liz is freaking the fuck out, and jess still isn’t awake. And i get to will call and give them my ID fully expecting something to go wrong….and it does!!! The will call people are like “maam we havent gotten anything from taylor nation yet please check back in 20 mins.” cool. So finally at this point jess wakes up and is freaking out so now liz anthony and jess are all freaking out and i’m just terrified that something’s going to go wrong. FINALLY 15 mins later the will call people waved me back, i gave them my ID, and i received in my undeserving hands that yellow ass rep room paper. I nearly threw up. Bc at this point i had been like working under the assumption t hat something, ANYTHING, was going to go wrong like i half expected the uber to the stadium to spontaneously combust while i was in the car. So to have confirmation that i was supposed to be at a certain gate in less than 40 mins to then be brought backstage to meet taylor alison swift….was a lot. It’s still a lot.

So i take the picture and tweet it and everyone is being so nice and happy for me which only exacerbates the feeling of A Lotness bc i just felt so completely and utterly undeserving, but this isn’t me trying to get people to tell me i deserved it it’s just me being honest about how i felt. And on top of all of this, the fact that i had never in my life tried to meet taylor also meant that i had never in my life prepared to meet taylor. Of course i’ve thought about what i’d say, who hasn’t, but never under the actual assumption that i was meeting taylor. And NEVER with the confirmed knowledge that i was MEETING TAYLOR IN HALF AN HOUR. so, as aforementioned, IT WAS A LOT.

So skip to 5:30, the meeting time, and i’m standing on the floor where i’m supposed to be and waiting in line with like 6 other people waiting for taylor nation to take us backstage. And they start to!!! But then they get to me and ask for my name and i tell them and i’m NOT ON THE LIST JKANFKASJNFJ so im panicking once again like oh this is it. But i tell the tn guy that i got my dm at like 12 that day and i can show it to him and he was like “ohhhh i think i got a text about a late add” and looks through his texts and he’s like “yeah here you are.” which was terrifying like i was really a late ass add huh like someone was like add this girl huh. the.

So finally they bring us backstage.i think i must’ve been visibly distressed at this point bc one of the other fans in line came up to me and was like “you’re nervous too huh” like i’m pretty sure i looked like i was being taken to my execution. They stop us outside of the door and i can see scottifer swift and tree paine and andrea and i’m like “holy fuck this is actually happening.” And giuseppe the dancer walks past me and i’m like “holy fucking shit this is actually happening and also that man is so fucking hot.” they tell us to put all of our shit on the table, and i do (minus my yellow pass which i was still grasping as if it was going to be ripped out of my hands as cameramen crashed the scene like i was on punk’d and everyone including taylor was going to point and laugh at the fact that i actually for one second thought this was going to happen to me. Yes i’m dramatic what about it) and i enter the rep room. The snake habitat if you will. I enter a room and the first group goes in almost immediately and i hear taylor swfit’s speaking voice saying “hiiiiiiii” reverberate around the room and i’m like OH MY FUCKING GOD…….so like i said i was nervous and definitely visibly so. Like i’m pretty sure i was pacing. I was also singing along to lets get married by bleachers because i have morals, but i definitely looked scared. So the tn person in the room keeps offering to take polaroids of me next to all of the decorations ajkfjasnfkjnfa like she must’ve been trying to reassure me which i really appreciated.

The room is like a big dark well decorated room that has a well lit corner curtained off, which is where taylor and the photographer are and where the m&g takes place. So for my sanity i needed to like look into it so that my blood pressure could return and so that i didnt throw up on taylor the millisecond i walked into the glow of the ring light, so i casually walked to where the curtain area was and looked in between the two curtains where a sliver of bright ass light was escaping and i saw taylor in all her taylor swifitan glory with my own two unholy eyes and i was liek “well…..that did nothing to cure my stress” because she was just SO TALL AND BEAUTIFUL that i was just so fucking...idk. Idk i felt so nuts it was indescribable.

Lets get married stops playing and strawberries and cigarettes (i think?) starts and it’s my turn to go in. so i just like bite the bullet and do it and the first words that escape my stupid mouth are “holy fucking shit” and taylor laughed (i cant) and hugged me and she was just so. calm . well obviously shes calm shes meeting a known moron there’s nothing to be nervous abou there this was practically charity work for her like she’ll be able to use meeting me as a tax write off next year. Really i was doing her a service.

But anyway we pull back from the hug and she’s smiling at me and i’m pretty sure i was shaking a bit like my voice definitely was shaking. And i was just like “oh my god. I love you.” klasfjasnjkf like i was incapable of speaking at that point so i think she thought that i was just going to freeze up and not say a single word but before she could fill the awkward silence i just...started talking and did not shut upas fjkasnfjkajkf. Like i was like “oh my god hi i want you to know that i could not have anticipated this happening any less like i received the dm from taylor nation confirming this about 4 hours ago there was nothign to prepare me for this i didn’t even do anything my friend liz made a post and she and jess reblogged it at like 2 am last night none of this makes any sense” and she was like “oh my god that’s so nice of them” which TEA IT ABSOLUTELY WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then she said “i’m so happy i finally get the chance to meet you then” which i’m sure she says to everyone but she’s so good at making you feel like she means it like she said that and it was like i had taken a xanax like i was so calm after that. Everyone says you calm down in her presence and i’ve never taken that seriously, but YOU REALLY DO….like shes just so calming she makes you feel like she’s your friend and that she genuinely wants to talk to you as if this is a casual occurrence.

So i say “i really love you like i have an older sister and she’s cool and all but you have always felt like you were my older sister like you’ve been a constant in my life for like a decade. I don’t even remember my life before i was obsessed with you which is probably indicative of a brain issue if i can’t remember my life before i was 11 but its true” and she LAUGHED and like genuinely laughed which made me feel so good. Like maybe she’s just the most talented actress alive but i really felt like she thought i was funny……..the………..and then as if i didnt get it from her laughing she called me funny which is disgusting. I’m doing my best to remember this conversation i like blacked out ajskfnsanf. I DIDNT EVEN TELL HER ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF whcih is so funny to think about now and honestly im fine with bc my life is boring anyway. But anyway i had been debating requesting a song all day, but i was like fuck it the worst thing she can do is turn me down and call me stupid for asking. So i prefaced my request with: “taylor i know youre probably getting different requests from everyone you meet and i know you also probably alreayd have a song in mind for tonight which is totally fine it’s your concert you can do whatever you want my opinion doesn’t matter i’l love anything you do” and shes laughs and is like “whats the song” and i tell her forever and always. And shes like “OHHHHH oh my god i didnt even think of that song. i have a list of songs in my mind that i can play at each show and forever & always didn’t even cross my mind i dont know why. I’ll be honest i already have a song in mind for tonight i’m going to play fearless because it’s raining” and i was like “THATS SO GREAT i love that song it’s your concert it’s your show do whatever you want i love fearless fearless is my favorite album” and she was like “that’s such a good request i didn’t evne think about that song” and i started telling her how i love that song because it was like the song that really got me into her music bc i saw her talking about it on ellen and she literally interrupted me which was an honor and goes “OH MY GOD and it has the ‘it rains in your bedroom eveyrthing is wrong it rains when youre here and it rains when you’re gone’ line and its going to rain!!! oh my god that’s such a good song i love that song” and i said me too!! Also i’m her complimenting her own song god she’s so talented. She’s absolutely right it is SUCH a good song. And i said “well its raining again tomorrow and i’ll be there!!!” and she was like “but i was thinking about playing [song she didn’t play but i dont want to say--not to be purposefully evasive bc i know its annoying--but bc i dont want her to hate me for saying it publicly asjkfjkas and also bc if she does it at gillette i want to let it be a surprise :( i feel so annoying im sorry] tomorrow because a lot of people requested it” and i was like “I LOVE THAT SONG” and then said something about the song.

And then she said (again) that forever & always was a good request and then looked SO SORRY when she was like “i’m so sorry i’m probably not going to play that today or tomorrow because i already have songs in mind but i promise i’ll try to play it later even though you probably won’t be there :(” and i was like “NO ITS COMPLETELY FINE i loved all the songs you mentioned. I’d love any song that you played it’s your concert do whatever you want you don’t ever have to play it if you dont want to it’s your show you call the shots” and she was like “i love how you keep telling me i can do whatever i want it’s so thoughtful and supportive you’re so nice” LIKE SHE KEPT TELLING ME I WAS NICE THIS WHOLE TIME and i was like “WELL PEOPLE CAN BE DEMANDING” and she was like “YEAH THEY REALLY CAN BE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT THEY’LL GET MAD AT ME OVER ANYTHING they’ll get mad at me if i play a song they don’t like or if i dont play a song they like-” and i was like “i know they’ll get mad at you for excluding so it goes and i’m just like guys its her concert let her live” and she laughed again and called me nice again like she kept saying i’m nice which seems so inconsequential tkjajfnjsa but it was so kind of her shes the best.

So at this point we had been there for a long ass time like it felt long and i was like “wait fuck i haven’t even introduced myself to you” and she was like “whats your name” and i said ariana and she goes “wait like air-iana or like are-iana” and i was like “i literally dont care you can call me whatever you want and i’ll respond” and she like laughed AGAIN and was like “youll just respond to anything huh. But seriously what is it” and i said my name again she was like “ariana. Cool.” bye and then she was like “well do you want to take a picture?” which is when i realized how long it had been and i was like “YEAH” and she just pulled me into a hug for a hugging picture which felt cute bc thats what i wanted to do anyway but she was probably just like god this girl has been in here for 8 years im not asking her what pose she wants to do can we please get going with this jskfnajafs but i didnt mind i was on cloud 9. So as shes hugging me i’m like “oh my god i’m going to blink in this picture and then i’ll have to die” and she was like “you wont blink i promise you wont blink she (the photog) will check to make sure” so we take the pic, the photographer tells me i’m good, and then taylor hugs me again and was like “it’s so nice to meet you” and i was like “it’s so nice to meet you too i didnt expect any of this. thank you so much for all of this i love you” and she huggged me again and called me nice again and then we said bye.

And then the taylor nation girl who was taking my picture (who i then gave all of my polaroids and my rep room pass to for her to hold before i went int asjkfnsafj) was like “here you go sweetie” and gave it to me and then told me to go back out and wait in the hall. And like idk why but once i left the photo area it was like every overwhelming emotion i had felt that entire day came rushing out like i just started crying silently like w tears streaming down my face. Asjkfnaskfjafkj. Like i dont cry so it was so bizarre. I didnt know what was happening. So then i was the only one out there bc i guess the first group had already been escorted out, so i was waiting for the rest of the people to be done and just crying. And then andrea was there so i said hi while crying and she came up to me and was like “hi honey how was it?!?!?” and i was like sarcastically like “oh it was okay ive had better days” and i dont think she knew i was joking at first like her face fell a bit before she realized i cant breahjtraefjs btu she was like “yeah its just a normal saturday for you no big deal” and then i asked her for a picture and she complied of course and i was like “im so sorry for crying idk why im crying” and she was like “its okay sweetie youve been through a lot today” which is honestly the most truthful thing ive ever heard in my life. And then i said “i raelly have” and she was like “this is a really amazing experience for you” and once again no lies detected but it was so funny that she said that about me MEETING HER DAUGHTER JKjkjskafjkfjska. And then i thanked her for raising taylor because i love her or something i cant breahfghasf and she was like “it was my pleasure she made it easy on me” and then finally i was escorted out and i was just crying.

Okay so now i just wanted to tahnk everyone who has been nice to me since saturday it means so so much like obviously i didnt think people would be MEAN TO ME but everyone has been soooooo nice i appreciate it a lot. And also like mayb this is controversial 2 say in this economy but i also want to say that all of the taylor nation people were so nice to me like i think everyones a bit hard on them at times like theyre just doing their jobs guys and it doesnt seem like an easy job sajkfnkjas considering they have to deal with how annoying some of us can be. And also i want to thank all of my friends, jess and liz in particular, bc like i didnt do anything obviously akjfanjksfj like this was all them and i love them so much like they were so happy for me it was equally as exciting to tell them as it was to actually meet taylro idk i just love them so much. IDK WHY IM TREATING THIS LIKE AN OSCARS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH but i obviously obviously i want to thank @taylorswift Idk if you saw my post and requested to meet me or if it was just a coincidence but it was honestly such an amazing experinece and you were so GOOD at talking i cant describe it but you were so calming and i really appreciated it. I feel like we dont appreciate all u do for us enough like youre just so kind and amazing i love you taylor swift i aint never gona stop loving you taylor swift. Idk this was so amazing and so unexpected and i still dont understand how any of this happened to me. THIS WAS CRAZY and it was just everything like everything u hear about meeting taylor is just so true…..shes just so good shes such a good person i want 2 cry………………

if u read all of this…..idk why youd do that but thank you and also im sorry for how long it was i just needed to write it all down for my own memory. Thank youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nemirutami]

Excuse me for being a weirdo who backreads people's blogs, but I had a small additional question regarding your answer to this ask here: /171315404167/ Do you also hate Alcor? If so, I'm incredibly curious to know why, since never harbored any ill will towards humanity and genuinely cared for the protagonist. (I realize I'm a little biased as I ship them together, but that's beside the point) I do agree most of the characters' motives and views were pretty selfish though.

I LOVE DESU ASKS.... AS EVIDENT BY THE VERY LONG REPLY... (SORRY!)

I’m glad ppl are reading them bc sometimes I feel like I’m yelling directly at a wall and my opinions are just bouncing right off, but I have an answer for that. 

I think the game did Alcor disservice in how he was represented. He would have benefited more from being impartial (but he isn’t impartial- and I’ll go more into detail about how he meddles to tip the scales) but I will admit anime!alcor was worse and just a sloppy attempt at making a NGE reference- but I won’t go into that because I could write an essay about how shitty the DESU2 anime is (I think everyone can- no one that played the game liked it and I can’t blame them).

The characters I actually can’t stand are: Yamato and Ronaldo. Because they’re actually the ones that actively go out and wipe out even ALLIES for their own benefit, not gonna lie- I might hate Ronaldo just a tiny bit more because of Makoto’s fate events, even if Yamato is just as bad if not worse. On top of that, they’re both awful hypocrites and unlike Yamato where I can kinda see the appeal, Ronaldo is completely unlikable. Even so, I can enjoy ships with Yamato in them. Tho I ship absolutely no one with Ronaldo because why would you evoke that kind of suffering in anyone. 

Everyone else is either bordering on annoying, bland, or just a mean spirited asshole. I feel more sympathy for Keita than I do for Hinako because at least Keita calls everyone a piece of shit, whereas Hinako seems to single out Daichi to shit on... on Daichi’s own route. Fumi also talks down to everyone, but in this case, Daichi’s just caught in the crossfire. Similar with Airi, she hates EVERYONE apparently, and will even punch Jungo. Hinako tho seems to specifically target Daichi on his route like... what the fuck is your problem? You called him an idiot twice in 1 battle Hinako holy shit, go chill??? I will never let this go because BOY was just BREATHING and she went “UGHHH YOU’RE SO STUPID” LIKE LET HIM BREATHE HOLY SHIT IS HE NOT EVEN ALLOWED THAT ANYMORE? 

Anyways, onto Alcor.

There’s a lot of plot holes and inconsistencies surrounding how the summoning app actually works (Alcor invented it after all, and gave it to us to use) and all these inconsistencies just make Alcor look bad from a writing standpoint (more of that below). He could have been a good character had he not been written poorly (Much like Yamato and... like 99% of the cast really. Even Daichi suffers from shit writing and I’ll never forgive them for this.) and had the plot not fucked him in the end and basically had him destined to die even on Daichi’s route (which sucks but is understandable since he is a septentrione) perhaps I’d have actually liked him. 

I tend to love characters that obsess with the protagonist, and they’re usually my absolute FAVORITE characters. I’m really surprised I didn’t jump on Alcor’s ship with the protag because it HAD the setting I absolutely adored for relationships to form? Especially the alien/human dynamic since I came into DESU2 right after exiting NGE so I was IN THE MOOD. Alcor in and of himself was just. Not satisfying to interact with (bored me to tears too) because of his cryptic messages that (more than anything) just waste time and bring the player nowhere unless they rank up to like 4 right before Yamato basically THROWS EXPOSITION AT YOU AND EXPLAINS THE ENTIRE PLOT ON THE 2ND LAST DAY (it’s even worse and comes even more out of nowhere if you haven’t interacted with Alcor at all in his fate events. More disservice. They should have made Alcor’s fate events more intimate and given Alcor more plot relevant lines within the plot itself instead of his events. Much like... Daichi really. They fucked up with Daichi by making his fate events more relevant to his character growth than the actual plot. I guess they did the same for Alcor but truth be told, I remember so little about Alcor because more than anything Alcor just bored me. Never quite pissed me off. Just bored me.) 

Ok, but onto the cake. The things that made me iffy on Alcor’s character in general.

Alcor supposedly gave humans fire and culture and blah blah. Already this is telling me to practice immense amounts of disbelief since it’s well documented how these things came about, but I suppose if no one actually knows the history then they can accept this at face value? I wasn’t tho. He acted responsible for it and it put me in disbelief and just made me think he sounded like an idiot. It also made him seem very arrogant, because it implied people NEEDED to be given culture, and that we just didn’t develop culture and diversity on our own. It implies we were all lifeless husks until he came along and granted it to us. Which is insulting.

The fact he’s a septentrione isn’t foreshadowed well and is very obvious from the second we see him floating and talking to other demons/septentriones since he clearly knows what they’re saying. Not really a character-specific issue. Just more problems of bad writing. “Who is he...” Daichi have you seen a HUMAN float in space like that god fucking damn it i love you but why u so duMB WHY YOU ALL SO DUMB IT’S CLEARLY EITHER A DEMON OR A SEPTENTRIONE, THE REAL QUESTION IS- WHY IS HE HELPING US?

Btw that’s another point. Why is he helping us? Oh, right, because he messed up.

He doesn’t want Yamato’s world, but he gave Yamato the power to reform society. Then, when Yamato tries to do what Alcor granted him the means to do, he’s like. Hm. Well. Shit? This guy’s a fucking psycho. Time to place my bets on the protagonist instead (which he does favor a lot- which doesn’t make him impartial really since he clearly favors explaining things more to Hibiki/Protag than anyone else in the game, and it puts everyone else at a disadvantage when a GOD LIKE ENTITY is behind the protag boosting him to make the “right” choice for humanity). I know Alcor was fascinated by humans and wanted them to live (which is fine), yet he didn’t bother to warn the MILLIONS that died (and remained dead in one of the endings- thanks Alcor) due to his negligence. Knowing about it and at least not issuing a warning is cruel. Sure, he gave people the demon summoning app, but the app was considered a “prank site” (nice advertisement, Alcor) as Daichi said at the start of the game (which i hate more than Yamato himself. Daichi. This. This idiot. This idiot signed his best friend up to a DEATH SITE just cus LOLS- the writing is bullshit, and I really disliked early Daichi, too. I disliked some of later canon-Daichi too because he was just rendered to a joke outside his Fate Events). The writing is really unfair on everyone, and it doesn’t help that the app doesn’t work the way it’s advertised to work anyways, seeing as Alcor can twist it to do what HE needs it to do at any time.

For example, the app is said to send death videos regarding people you’ve made a bond with, but clearly that’s all bullshit considering Alcor manually sends Hibiki a warning (and only Hibiki alone) of Otome’s death video so that NO ONE BUT HIBIKI CAN SAVE HER. This implies he can manipulate the death videos personally and exclude others from receiving videos. This. This is not kind. Not at all. I know he was testing Hibiki, but at THIS RISK? Losing Otome can FUCK YOUR PERFECT RUN and outside game mechanics, ELIMINATE ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. If he wanted to, he could kill characters he actually doesn’t like this way by basically not sending the videos out to people, which, if you don’t go to save Otome right away- will be the end of her. He’s putting all his bets on you alone and testing you by cutting off everyone else from the app- potentially hindering backup to save Otome. Sure, you save her but you can just as easily kill her. I can’t say this wasn’t a sleazy test because he was basically playing with Otome’s LIFE and showed no signs of remorse. Some love for humans you have Alcor. Shit dude. This isn’t kind at all.

But I guess these are my main qualms about him- at least the ones I remember- but take everything I say with a grain of salt bc I tried to avoid confrontation with him completely in my 2nd and 3rd run so I have vague memories lingering. I don’t hate him? I can actually like him if he’s written well by other people, but given how he is in the game, I can’t say I ever enjoyed interacting with him. He didn’t annoy me other than the 2 times I’ve stated above, where he basically talks down to us about how we got to our culture and how he kinda lets Otome PERISH if we don’t respond quickly enough. I know it was a test to the protagonist’s will, but aren’t the septentriones a test enough of my conviction, Alcor, honestly. Unlike Airi, Hinako, Keita, and everyone else, Alcor doesn’t annoy me at all. Io annoys me more, if not only because the game wanted Daichi to be plot relevant only for Io to get all the spotlight. Io is genuinely maybe the better written character- it’s just such a shame they flipflop on her as a lead when in any other game, she could easily have been a lead. Her love triangle kills any enjoyment I get from her at all tho and just makes me bitter. More bad writing- who would have guessed.

Tho from a shipping standpoint? You can ship Alcor with Hibiki for good reasons, obviously. There’s a clear connection and fascination there that doesn’t surprise me people flock to (because I would have been there too had they just written him better). I don’t really mind the ship itself. When I say “i don’t mind it” I just mean I don’t feel anything for it and I’d probably not draw it for myself. There are really no ships I hate or really... dislike? There’s just stuff I don’t ship, but I can definitely ship Hibiki/Alcor if it was for a plotpoint of some kind in a fic or art or whatever. It depends on the idea really. 

I guess it’s too late to say something like this so far into the post, but I like to believe that ANY ship works if the construction/buildup to it is good enough. I believe you can make any character do/say anything under the right circumstances with the right motives without it being OOC or feel out of place. I’d like to think talent is wicked like that- a double edged sword of risky ideas that can either make or break your interpretation/perception depending on how you build it up. Though, that takes effort. Something DESU2 sadly lacks in a lot of ares, but it’s still a game worth playing for the experience and I wouldn’t not recommend it for the good parts that are (while few) really, really good.

[ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse]

Hey for the ask thing, all the questions you're comfortable with answering

oh boy!!! heck yeah fun shit thanks my dude! little did u Kno…… I LOVE oversharing !!! lmao muahahahahaha i’m probably gonna answer all of them thank u for enabling it lmfao

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

yah on Rly Bad days

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like… 3.5? i like the dark but,,, ‘m Scare,,,,,

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Orange Turnip

4. What is your favorite word?

it changes tbh,, hm but i can’t think of any rn!

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

i’d be….. a nice oak! thicc and full of secrets

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didn’t lmao reflection what’s that

7. What shirt are you wearing?

i’m wearing the dress i wore to work

8. What do you label yourself as?

annoying or boring lmao but also the Goblin King and that is Good

9. Bright room or dark room?

i still don’t know if this is referring to like paint shade or like the amount of light it gets or like if i sleep in a bright room or dark room so like??? *shrug emoji*

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

i was?? drawing i think

12. Who told you they loved you last?

i think it was @wrenn-frug​ 💕💖 lov u fren!

13. Your worst enemy?

dunno man probably myself but that sounds cliche so like??? the sun bc it always burns me

14. What is your current desktop picture?

a screenshot from song of the sea!!! lOVE that movie!!!! i’d post it but like?? i don’t think i have it saved anymore or if i do i don’t feel like looking but it’s that one scene where they’re walking thru the pretty field towards the trees and there’s foxes in the corner and she’s playing the shell it’s so pretty,,,,,

15. Do you like someone?

uh yah my cat

16. The last song you listened to?

Young God - Halseygood song lov it,,,,

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

oraNGE TURNIP

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

orange turnip my dude i Hate

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

uh nobody ????

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

my squishy thighs and my fantastic stretch marks (which have taken me YEARS to accept)

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

No

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

????????????? secret???? talent?????? lemme check, ,, , , *reaches into a bag* nope bitch empt y aint got No Talent lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

okay so like this is really dumb and i partially answered this in this ask abt the flushing toilets @ night thing but like to elaborate and make it even more dumb not only am i afraid to flush toilets @ night bc it’s just rly creepy and loud to me (esp if i’ve been asleep) but like,, , sort of in the same vein of fear is that when i was little my older sister told me that there was a ghost in the toilet and if i don’t flush it’ll get me and like i kno it’s not tru but like,,,,,, Sometimes,,,,,, (i must clarify i’m not scared of toilets themselves but like flushing freaks me out sometimes like @ night or if i don’t flush fast enough lmao don’t look @ me i’m a mess)

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Excuse? is this like that i can ONLY eat this sandwich or is it that this is the only sandwich i can ever eat or like i can only ever have one last sandwich bc honestly i’m Not Okay with any of those scenarios no matter how many ingredients i get for the initial creation

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Dream daddy dating simulator lmao uh?? also probably more food for archie bc he is Expensive

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Ireland probably. always wanted to see ireland

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

“Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out” like???? no???? if u don’t drink alcohol why would u want a lifetime supply??? unless i could like…. sell it??? whats the Most Expensive kind i’ll just get an unending supply of heavenly Expensive Alcohol to sell for incredibly inflated prices to the rich bc it’s From Heaven and give the money to the poor bc like,,, why not

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

bitches gotta keep they damn opinions to themselves if they can’t respect somebody’s life based on factors they can’t help (race, religion, orientation, gender etc) also no money like We Don’t Need It i’m so tired of Needing money

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck bc u can use it in So Many situations

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

o shit probably the twenty dollar metallic watercolors i got bc shit son??? actually probably like my laptop or smth idk

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my childhood thx

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

this is.. not a questionalthough it is a wonderful scenario

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

none of them bc if the celestial gates of the beyond is real then all the people i’d want to bring back are probably in a Better Place or something and why would i want to drag them to Hell?

34. What was your last dream about?

Cannot remember to save my life altho i kno it was rly weird and convoluted

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

u did not put anything Here so i will Ignore

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Nope

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yAH it’s fun!

38. What is the color of your socks?

not wearing any

39. What type of music do you like?

A Lot

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets,,, evening is so nice mm m

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate ayyyy

43. Do you have any scars?

a couple but like for Dumb Reasons

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I’ve graduated hs but i wanna be an animator when i decide which college to go to

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

my brain pls bartender can i have a Healthy One (correction to favorite word #4: fav word currently is deign)

46. Are you reliable?

i would like to think so

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

are you happy?

48. Do you hold grudges?

YAH but only if i’ve been Pushed Too Far which is Pretty Damn Far by most ppls standards

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

none I am Not a God

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i have had So Many???? the most recent one was two times in a row random ppl i barely knew asked me for my netflix account bc they didnt have one and like…. bro what who R U,,,,, (i had literally only talked to the first guy once for ten minutes on fb)

51. Are you a good liar?

is the sky green? don’t think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Very Long but like Only on Bad Weeks

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

None my hair is Magnificent (idk)

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

like birthday cake? never but i lov to bake cakes so like i bake myself cakes all the time

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i am so bad @ accents i can’t even Read in my Head in accents even though i know what the accent Should Sound Like

56. What do you like on your toast?

peanut butter and banan slices

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

working on a picture of a tiger redraw

58. What would be you dream car?

a Bike bc i Do Not Like cars

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i only sing in the shower when nobody is home (which is infrequent bc my mom is Always here) bc i am self conscious around most ppl but like Music,,,,, also when i was little i would pretend that i was standing in the rain all sad like in movies lmao

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yah

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

i follow an astrology blog and i read homestuck i mean,,

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

i??? A maybe bc there are a lot of ways to write it pretty idk but like specifically capital A ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons they’re fire-breathing friends and i love them

64. What do you think about babies?

Gross

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

U Didn’t put anything Here either so like how abt i give u a random fact abt myself that seems good my favorite bird is the lammergeier bc they’re basically irl dragons and they’re so pretty??? love them??? also i hate monkeys and apes esp chimpanzes bc they are scary and too much like humans to me i don’t like them

BOY that took way longer than i thought bc i had to feed my cat halfway thru and everything and like this is a Long Post sorry guys but ayyyyy this was fun thanks ari

[bratkook]

clairvoyant. (m) part two

Author's note: just so you know there isn't any smut yet, that M is just there for future chapters bc of the things they'll contain okay awesome. also still dont know who its centered around, what a thrill. 

 Word count: 3k

masterlist.

The stares you were getting as you walked across the quad that separated the girls dorm from the boys were definitely something else. Maybe you had something on your face? Oh wait, no, it was because you were carrying a giant size photo of Taehyung’s ass.

“If he doesn't actually hang this up I’m breaking it over his head.” You muttered to yourself bitterly. The trouble you had gone through to actually find someone willing to print it out was insane, it was a miracle you had it printed a day later. What was so wrong about wanting a picture like that printed? Honestly this is all thanks to that girl in your printing class last year because without her Tae would’ve gotten a 4x6 picture of his butt.

You huffed out hair that had fallen out of your ponytail and onto your face and thanked the guy who actually held the dorm doors open for you.

“Y/N! You have to check in before you go up there!”

You rolled your eyes at the rule but continued walking to the elevator, “You know all my information Baekhyun, I’ve got shit to do.”

The RA just stood behind the counter, letting out a sigh but copying down your information from another page since you basically lived here.

By the time you made it to Tae’s room your arm was cramping up from hauling around the canvas.

You gave his door three soft kicks and waited for him to open it, hearing the other guys chuckling whenever they passed you and saw the giant picture.

Luckily you weren’t out there for long and were greeted by a giant smile when he saw it was you. His eyes scanned down your body and did a double take when he noticed what you held, “Oh my god is that it?”

He pulled you into the room and shut the door behind him, looking like the giddiest kid in the world when you held the canvas up for him to see.

“This…is such a work of art.”

“You’re so conceited.”

He grabbed it from your hands and propped it on his bed against the wall, clearly admiring it, “Well yeah, but it's just such a nice picture. Like the colors are pretty and everything's so sharp–”

“It’s a picture of your ass.” You deadpanned.

He shoved your head, successfully ruining your ponytail some more, and walked to his desk to rummage through the doors, “Obviously but you really know how to capture a picture.”

You smiled at his compliment even though you were pretty sure he just loved it because it was of him, but regardless being praised on your photography was pretty uplifting, “I spent about 3 hours staring at your ass in Lightroom and editing it so thanks for liking it.”

He stood up straight with a ruler and pencil in one hand and a couple of command hooks in the other, “Dedication. And that’s exactly why you’re gonna be big when you get out of here, but for now, help me level this out and hang it up?”

You slipped off your shoes and hopped onto his bed, grabbing the pencil and ruler to try to mark off where the hooks would go. Tae stayed on his knees in the bed and held up the canvas so you could get a feel for the size and placement, “I’m not exactly opposed to this position”

You were focused on drawing a straight line across the wall so you jumped when you felt his teeth gently bite down on your upper thigh, resulting in the line going wonky. “Good job, now your pictures gonna be crooked.”

He let out a whine at your teasing and decided to just rest his head against you as he continued to hold up the canvas. “By the way, how’s your roommate?”

He nuzzled his cheek against your thigh before responding, “He keeps things clean and he’s funny. I can tell he’s got a good head on his shoulders, I feel like his mind just chants school, study, sleep.”

“Hm, maybe it’ll rub off on you and you’ll start going to your classes?”

“Ha! Y/N, you are the queen of wishful thinking and I appreciate that.”

And you are the king of sarcasm you mumbled to yourself with a smile. You marked off two spots in a guestimate location and ruffled his hair so he could stand up and finally hang this masterpiece up.

“Okay go stand over there and tell me if it’s straight.” You nodded and hopped off the bed, shuffling back a few steps to get a good view.

He had placed one hook on the wall and stuck the other directly onto the canvas, calling it his foolproof plan to ensure a straight line.

“A little higher on the right.”

The canvas leveled out a bit more, the hook on the canvas not securely placed yet until you reassured him it was perfect.

“Like that?”

“If you could move it a teeny bit up it’d be perfect.”

His tongue was poking out between his lips as he concentrated on moving it a teeny bit. Honestly what kind of measurement was a teeny bit? But if that's what you said he’d be damned if he didn't listen.

“Okay there!”

He finally pressed the hook against the wall, his hands slowly letting go of the canvas as he backed away to examine it. The picture was absolutely massive but it fit perfectly between the window and edge of the wall right above his bed. It’s the first thing anyone would see when they come into the room and you weren’t sure if the RA’s would classify this as pornography but you’ll find out eventually.

You guys turned to high five each other, falling into a celebratory dance and missing out on the door opening until someone broke the silence.

“Um, wow?”

You both turned to look over and your eyes widened when you recognized him, his eyes were glued on the picture but when they spotted you he looked away, the blush on his face being a telltale sign that he was embarrassed.

“Hey Jungkook! How was class?”

He let the door shut before setting his backpack down on his desk on the left, tossing his coat onto his bed and ruffling his own hair. “It was slow…” he mumbled out quietly, obviously feeling very caught off guard, “Quick question, why do you have a picture of that streaker’s ass blown up?”

You could see Tae’s ego inflate at the mention of the incident, his smile was huge, “It’s a self portrait that Y/N took of me, pretty iconic huh?”

He would call himself iconic, classic Taehyung.

“Wait that was you?!” Jungkook’s eyes were probably the widest you’d ever seen on a person so you couldn’t help but laugh a little. He glanced at the giant canvas and then down at Taehyung's thighs, tilting his head slightly and shrugging.

“In the flesh.” He turned around and smacked his butt before flopping down on his bed, his hands crossed behind his head as he leaned against the wall right below the picture.

“No wonder you had a beanie on, you’re the only dude here with bright red hair.”

You nodded at the comment, “Well to be fair, the majority of the school knew only Tae would be capable of doing some shit like that.”

“The beanie was just so the principal wouldn’t have blatant evidence against me.” Tae added on, tapping his head like it was clearly genius and then averting his attention to his phone as he tried to take a selfie with the canvas.

Jungkook nodded as he rocked back and forth on his heels, not knowing if he should make himself comfortable or leave. Was Taehyung your boyfriend? Could he ask that or would that be awkward if he wasn’t? It didn’t seem like you were, but what if you guys wanted to be alone? He was gonna ask–

“Hey, how’s your nose?” You could feel your face heat up from bringing up that embarrassing memory but it was common decency to ask. How could you have beaten him with your camera, that stuff didn’t just happen.

At the mention of his injuries his train of thought derailed and his hand came up to feel around his nose and eye, wincing when his fingers touched a spot that was still tender. “Ah, still a little sore but it definitely isn’t broken and I didn’t get a black eye.”

You let out a sigh of relief, pulling out his desk chair and sitting down on it casually. “Thank god, I mean my bank account is probably in the negatives right now but if I broke your nose with my lens I would’ve paid your medical bills.”

“Holy shit that was you!” Tae yelled out, his phone still held in front of him as he tried to get his best angle. He broke out into a fit of laughter, “I remember when I finally met him and I saw him all busted up he just said some girl hit him twice in the face with a camera. I should’ve known it was you.”

You covered your face with your hands, why couldn’t he just say he’d gotten in a fight. Don't guys like to assert dominance when they meet? He wasn’t doing himself any favors by saying a girl beat him to a pulp with a camera.

You could hear Jungkook ask why he should’ve known it was you as you stood up from the chair and pushed it back in, “‘cause if you know Y/N you know she’ll always have that massive fucking camera with her as long as there’s something good enough to shoot.”

“So I’m gonna go–”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook basically shouted out, “I mean, I could leave if you guys wanted to be alone.” His eyes flickered between the both of you, seeing you frown as Tae wiggled his eyebrows.

“No,” you chuckled, “I have to get going. But please, spread the word about how I assaulted you, maybe it’ll build me a rep of being a badass.” You gave them smiles, saying you’d see them later before leaving the room and heading back out of the guys dorm.

It was barely 4 in the afternoon and you should probably be heading to your own dorm room to prepare for the start of your classes tomorrow but you found yourself walking towards the edge of the campus and getting yourself an Uber.

The short ride to your destination was spent in your own head, questions on how this semester would play out, if you had a plan b, hell even a plan z would’ve been safe. You were a classic over thinker, someone who pushed their problems to the back of their mind until they were alone and then proceeded to freak the fuck out when it became too much.

When the car stopped you shot out of it, barely getting a thanks out before entering the building and immediately heading for the elevator. The number 10 lit up as you pushed it and you couldn’t fight the urge to fix your ponytail while looking at your reflection on the elevator doors.

Once you exited on the floor and made your way down the wide hall you could already see Jimin leaning against the doorframe, waiting for you, clearly looking worried.

“You okay?” He asked you, letting you step into his place before shutting the door and giving you a glass of water.

The glass was emptied in the time it took you to sit down on his couch in the living room. You took off your jacket and shoes, letting yourself get comfy as he waited for your answer because were you really okay?

Sure you always seemed okay but Jimin never failed to see through you. You always hid how stressed you were, how close you were to a mental breakdown, and he related to that which is why you were so close. He got your methods of destressing so you always confided in him because he was never one to judge. He was always the one you vented to, probably the one person who knew absolutely everything about you because despite what everyone thought of him you knew he was the most caring people you’ve ever met.

“How’d you know I was coming?” You dodged the question, grabbing one of the throw blankets and spreading it out over your legs.

He smiled and sat down next to you, tossing some of the blanket onto his lap, “My phone told me I ordered an Uber, obviously I knew it was you.”

Right. Jimin insisted on linking your Uber apps together simply because he understood. He knew you fluctuated with your money, you could survive with your scholarship money but that didn’t last forever and that's when you would struggle to make ends meet. If he could make your life a little bit easier by providing a ride here and there he definitely would.

You never abused his generosity and only used the app to get to and from his place, everywhere else was walking distance in your mind. Obviously Jimin was well off, having more money than he knew what to do with, but that didn’t mean you were willing to roll in a pile of cash whenever he offered to pay something off for you.

His fingers were tapping on his knee, your eyes flickered over to them and then slowly up to his face, seeing he was still waiting for an answer. Are you okay?

“I should probably still text you whenever I come over, what if you weren’t here.”

“You know where my spare is.” He responded without missing a beat, giving you a soft smile, his lip ring reflecting light at the movement. He raised his eyebrows, his final warning for you to tell him what was up.

“I'm fine, promise.”

He eyed you suspiciously, his arms folding across his chest, “The last time you promised me you were fine you had a full on meltdown in your dorm at 5am.”

You winced at that, remembering your roommate not knowing what to do when you started freaking out, mumbling about bills, going bald and being a nobody who would live at home until you were 60. The only thing she could think to do was grab your phone and call the last person you texted which in that case was Jimin since you had just left his place.

He showed up, calmed you down and left. Seemed simple enough, but when you woke up the next morning you saw he had settled your bill problem with a few taps on his phone which is what he claimed he did best. You swore that once you made a name for yourself you would pay back everything. It wouldn’t seem like much, it's not like he had bought you a frickin Tesla but a couple hundred bucks was still money.

“Please don’t have me show up at the girls dorm at 5am again, do you know how many questions I got? People are gonna think I’m a male escort that you call over.”

Your jaw dropped, “Stop it!”

His eyes crinkled up as he started laughing, grabbing your hands as they tried to swat his legs, “I don’t mind it, do you know how many girls would blow up my phone if they thought I was an escort.” He let out a whistle and wiggled his brows at you.

You sat back, letting your foot nudge his thigh and yanking the blanket off of him completely, “Oh yeah, just let that news travel and we’ll see how long you stay a student here.”

He just shrugged, “Do I look like a man who goes to college for the sake of education?”

“Absolutely not, you look like a man who goes to college for the sake of parties and hooking up.”

The rings on his fingers glimmered as he pointed at you, “Bingo.” He stood up from the couch, rolling up his long sleeve and showcasing a few of the tattoos he had on his forearms as he opened his phone and scrolled.

“And because you are keeping me on my toes with the mystery of whether you’re okay or not,” he looked at his phone while he spoke, his fingers tapping the screen rapidly and you could only assume he was sending out texts, “We are gonna do what we do best.” He looked up at you with a smile and you smiled back, already knowing what was coming.

“Get blackout drunk to forget our problems and then cry about it the next morning while hungover?”

He faked a gasp of shock, “Y/N, you fucking mind reader. But yes, and luckily the bastards at Delta fucking whatever are throwing a party with the new pledges tonight.”

You cuddled deeper into his couch as you laughed, “Why do you always refer to them as the bastards at Delta fucking whatever like you hate them–”

“Because I do hate them!”

That only made you laugh harder, “Then why do you keep going to their parties!”

“Because they always have good booze.”

You just stared at him and from the look on his face you could tell he already knew what the next word that was coming out if your mouth was because he shouted it out with you.

“True!”

It really wasn’t that funny yet you both double over in laughter at the stupid phrase the pair of you said at the dumbest times. He pretended to wipe a few tears away and double checked his phone before putting it away and clapping his hands, “Alright, your ass better take an uber back to the dorm and be ready by 10.”

You opened your mouth to protest but he stopped you, literally putting his hand over your mouth before you could speak, “I don’t care if you have an 8am class tomorrow we are going dammit, you’re just gonna have to show up to lecture hungover as fuck.”

You grunted some incomprehensible words behind his mouth and he just nodded along like he completely understood.

Showing up to the first class of the year with a massive hangover….yeah you could do that. First impressions weren’t that important right?

[noheroes-allowed]

(edit: from 10-12am)

12/14 - 12/15, I keep having breakdowns and I definitely know why but at the same time I’m confused

also again, don’t read this lol I just wanna remember this in the future

so last night I was hanging out with Ally and Nana and I was having a lot of fun so I pushed back the meeting time by an hour but then he said he was gonna go out with his friends and wouldn’t be back for a few hours - I didn’t want him to go though bc I really wanted to see him plus I went all the way to the health center after my final to get supplies like they better be used - so I got kinda sad and started drinking with them

but it turned out to be really fun though like things happened like last time and I really wanted to dance and sing and I didn’t throw up which is always a plus

so I hung out with them for a long time and stayed up last night for him to get back to me when he’d be back and free, I got really sleepy at like 2 but he messaged me half an hour later

honestly I felt kinda upset though bc I always felt like he mattered more to me than I mattered to him, which is partly bc he’s my first everything and partly bc I think I feel /too/ much sometimes (always), and he didn’t seem that interested in me coming over

anyway I got there and he was super weird omg he was so hyper and talkative bc he was still drunk but it was really funny

like in the elevator he thought he lost his credit card and he kept saying he probably left it at the bar but it was in his back pocket the whole time, and then when we got to his place he got these nachos and ate them super quickly holy shit but he only ate half of the container BUT it was only for like 2 minutes that this was happening lol it was weirdddd, also he had like a little hop in his step or he would dance a little while walking idk it was funny

but I felt weird being normal around him while he was like that so I asked him for something to drink and I got buzzed (tbh who am I) and we fooled around

he said I gave the best —— he’s ever had

when I drink though, I have no filter and all my thoughts come out so when we were laying there I started saying how I felt, specifically how I wished I mattered more to him and how I wished he talked to me more and how we never do anything else and how I always ask first to see him, not the other way around, and how I want him to make me ——, and shit

he said I was special though and he does care about me, and we should do something else but I added that it’s too late now, and he does want to ask me first but I always beat him to it and it’s annoying that I do

I also said how cute he looked when I met him the first time

I asked him to sing and he sang some paper moon song but I didn’t like it so we switched to can’t help falling in love; we also talked about me making out with my friend and how he thought it was hot and she should come over sometime lol but he would focus on me

I woke up to him on the phone with a background investigator for his new job lol and the investigator wanted to meet up with him today but he didn’t go, he says apparently that he’s done some shit particularly hacking things that he shouldn’t have and he was stressed he wouldn’t be hired bc of the things he’s done

I distracted him

I was on my phone checking my grades and I got a 92 on my calc final!!!!!! and a 90.5 on my linear algebra final!!!!!! I’m so fucking happy I worked my ass off in calc especially!!!!! and tbh I kind of slacked on studying for my lin alg one but I pulled it off!!!! he was impressed hehe, he thinks I’m insanely smart which I don’t think is true I think I just work a lot to get where I want to be (I really really do and I don’t think people know and they just write it off as something inate and I hate that, give me the credit I deserve)

he told me how he used to try a lot freshman and sophomore year of high school but he didn’t junior and senior year but he did better then, and how he lowers teachers expectations in the beginning so doing what you’re actually supposed to do later is impressive to them

he made me quinoa which was so good I fucking love quinoa and he said he doesn’t know anyone else who likes it besides him and like same I don’t know anyone who likes it the way I do

we talked about the Friday before that when I made out with my friend and how we took off our shirts and I was wearing her bra and it was wild, and he asked what my friends thought of his pic (lol Vaani just liked to say he’s brown but he’s a cool one which is rare)

lol he also voice texted my mom and she was confused

we watched Aunty Donna and it’s always sunny clips and we talked about the associative property of multiplication for linear algebra and matrices

my friend thinks she’s a 7 when I think she’s a 9 and I was texting her about this and he said she’s probably a 6-6.5 and I got sad bc then I would be so much lower

he told me not to worry about it bc there are other things that factor into it

he said I was wilder and dirtier than he was freshman year, apparently his old friends are very conservative and believe the waiting until marriage thing which is interesting bc I don’t know many people who feel that way

he said he was tired and had a rough week bc he has seasonal depression and bc of the background check determining if he starts his career

I wish I told him I had (have? I don’t know what tense it should be bc it never goes away right?) depression quite recently but it’s weird to say out loud and even on here rn bc I feel like I don’t have the right to categorize or describe or legitimize how I felt the last two years as that when I was never truly diagnosed or anything sigh idk it’s just a problem I have like I don’t know if I can say I had/have depression and I’m rambling

we fell asleep and I had a dream we were at some park and we were on a ride that was like those weird mechanical character things that aren’t roller coaster you just sit and you go through the ride and watch things

anyway he jumped out of the ride but he didn’t get caught bc this other guy did it first and all the security were reprimanding that guy, and then the scene changed and we were gonna out to see some show but then he just wanted to stay in and we were just laying on the ground inside somewhere like it wasn’t his place or mine but my parents walked in and I freaked out so much even though we weren’t doing anything but there was alcohol around us I fucking woke myself up

we did things again

afterwards I got sad

we were talking about what I was saying last night, how I kept saying he mattered more to me than I did to him and he mostly said he didn’t pursue more bc he knew I was leaving

I told him I didn’t want to go and he asked if I meant today (lol he offered for me to stay while he works on his project with his friends and he’ll be back in a couple hours) or in general, it was both

I cried

he got a tissue and dabbed my face

I told him how I wanted to stay for multiple reasons, I didn’t want to start over at Cornell

he was really nice bc I kept saying I’m sorry (he kept asking what I was sorry for - I’m sorry for crying, I’m sorry you have to deal with me breaking down, I’m sorry I’m upset) for being like this (lbr he didn’t sign up for this lol) and he said it was good for me to talk it out instead of letting it fester and he really tried to console me like telling me I can still keep in contact with the people I met and how I’ll make new friends and have fun and such

I told him I’ll miss him bc he was my first everything and he said it’s better with the clean break and good terms instead of a long term relationship and bitter endings and bad memories, with us it’s just melancholy

he’s a really nice guy and I’ll miss him

he said I was always welcome back and could stay for a couple days at his place if I was on break

he kept asking if I’ll truly be okay after I stopped crying, it was so good and pure and sincere

I could’ve loved him

he makes me want to write again

we watched a Portal 2 video and he showed me his website and we went on each other’s Tinders

he saw how people asked for my number and asked if I ever met up with them, I told him I only met with 2 other guys and we were talking about it and he said he doesn’t get jealous (I do)

he told me to bring an overnight bag for Saturday

we ran into a security guard in the hallway and he asked if she always patrolled bc he never noticed and she said yeah all the time and he asked for what kinda things and she said for people having sex in the hallways and loud music and crazy college kids and fuck he’s so good at talking to people

there was a dog in the elevator

it snowed/hailed today and I didn’t even notice when we stepped outside lol, only when he threw snow at me

I tried to throw it back but it was hard to pick up and it melted in my hands but he had gloves on and kept doing it

it was fun

he’s really fun

we were talking about moving here as kids and English as a second language which is weird bc it’s technically the second language I learned but it’s my primary language and hm, he said he sometimes switches without noticing which wow I’ve never met anyone in real life who’s done that

we walked to the Atlantic building, it was cold and slippery

I’m tired, physically and emotionally

18, 20, 2-3, 9-10, 11-12, 14-15

I could have loved him

[lilietsblog]

sailor moon liveblog episode 20 (I skipped 19 because im too tired for that shit right now)

omg omg i think the next episode is The One That Had Nothing To Do With The Main Plot

and that's the most beautiful thing that exists

particularly in context of my ongoing analysis effort of Everything Usagi

tsuki no hikari ni michibikare~

I will forever love Usagi's enthusiasm in the opening when she says 'I don't look like a superheroine, but I am!' (but no child you do look like one you're the defining superheroine of my childhood)

Ami's summer outfit is the best actually I love all of their summer outfits but Ami is just special oh right its the weird one week summer holidays or something? how it works in Japan?

Usagi is dreaming of being tan and I can't help but note that I like this particular beauty standard

Usagi omfg got very distracted no but seriously why is everyone so shitty to her they just. leave her behind as she's lost in her dreams im the slow autistic (tm) and i tend to space out and lose track of what's happening and i have been hiking since i was 5yo and listen. trailing behind everyone trying to catch up is my worst nightmare. when everyone stops to rest and let you catch up but when you, going at your top speed, exhausted, arrive, is exactly when everyone else, refreshed and rejuvenated, stands up and goes on

like i should probably not project my feet issues on Usagi (SURPRISE IT TURNS OUT MY WHINING ABOUT MY LEGS HURTING WAS NOT IN FACT ABOUT THE SAME SHIT EVERYONE ELSE WAS GOING THROUGH AND MY MOM HAD NO IDEA)

but goddammit STOP LEAVING MY GIRL BEHIND YOU FUCKS YOU DON'T DESERVE HER

honestly 99% of my feelings towards Usagi are bitter bitterness towards everyone around her except like. Naru

aww Usagi so tired she's lost any and all control whatsoever sniping at Rei, screaming at the sight of a little kid she does not atually normally complain this much this is no-filter tired!Usagi

also Ami is the sweetest creature known to men 'are the flowers okay?'

these creatures are genuinely spooky it's kind of interesting to analyze how Ami and Rei aren't reacting to their appearance at all while Usagi is freaking out this is the Weirdness Filter - when people just assume that the weird thing has a perfectly ordinary explanation and anyway if it doesn't affect them it might as well be ordinary either way

also I love how Ami immediately picks up on the fact the girl is being treated badly

Rei is too distracted by Usagi, Usagi is too distracted by EVERYTHING IS SCARY

and here's Luna chiding Usagi for making a commotion

you know when I was a kid I thought of myself as being a bad student and lazy. I got nearly all perfect marks and the only person who was better than me was my best friend but all I could think was 'i am worse than her' bc my mom was ~in a very bad place~ at the time and more or less did nothing but criticize and tear me down for everything that went the least bit wrong

I think back to my kid years and I just feel so weirded out by all the self esteem I was missing back then. like I'm sorry but I was kind of awesome??? and like. the only person who would tell me that was my grandma who lives in a different fucking country and visits twice a year. her praise did not exactly impact my daily life much

my point is FUCK OFF LUNA USAGI IS GREAT AND PERCEPTIVE

she is freaking out because she is paying attention okay

poor kid

omfg Rei 'it's incredibly cheap!' why do you think

'costumes of the employees' see this is what im talking about Usagi is perceptive enough to understand it's not costumes Rei is I guess perceptive enough to know they aren't a threat regardless? but she doesnt comfort Usagi either beacuse OF COURSE WHY WOULD ANYONE COMFORT USAGI EVER

aaaAAAAAAAAA I WANT SUMMER BEACH AND WAVES SO MUCH I LOVE BEACH SO MUCH also hee Usagi still has her bow-decorated swimsuit <3

also Usagi had failed to quite grasp what 'private beach' means XD

Usagi is really wise like normally I'm against snatching books from people but Usagi is very right

also oh my god Rei "Usagi is for once saying something reasonable" more like "for once I take a break from tearing down Usagi for long enough to notice that things she's always saying are actually Not Wrong"

man I hate this kind of "you doing not bad is an unexpected exception" verbal abuse shit so much

also girls why do you think knocking over Usagi is fun??? jfc she's the designated punching bag of the group wtf

this is the kind of fun where you end up feeling like 'wow that sure was a normal teenage thing that just happened to me! i totally fit in! they laughed and there were no freakouts so clearly that was Fun(tm)'

Usagi is really good at seeing the best in situations and loving her friends selflessly but holy shit she's being put through so much fuckery

I absolutely love that this anime just kinda casually includes a werewolf, a frankenstein's monster and a vague monster creature in one episode without them being either explained or ever brought up again

hm so here's Rei and Ami independently stumbling across some secrets how bout my Usa-chan

man Ami knows all about recognizing loneliness doesn't she ...makes me wonder how her parents treat her. i dont think her family is ever featured ever and i also dont think its for no reason

AND AMI'S SOLUTION FOR LONELINESS IS FOR EVERYONE TO BEFRIEND USAGI GOD BLESS HER CLUELESS BUT APPRECIATIVE HEART the one person who realizes how much emotional labor Usagi's ready&willing to do for anyone ever

this guy is such a good portrayal of an abusive parent. hes technically doing all the parent things, never going more than /slightly/ over the edge, so if the girl complained to anyone it would never sound like anything really bad was happening to her. he sounds so reasonable and caring and his selfish motivations are so obvious

so hey theres Usagi literally stumbling upon something scary omfg Rei are you seriously that oblivious 'normal human beings' omg well hey at least she feels the kid psychic

ahh!!! Ami busts in to protect the kid!!! oh hey the point where the girl has had enough <3

what I wanna note here is that Usagi and Rei's roles here are 'the person who actually gets what's going on and resonates emotionally with the locals' and 'the clueless sceptic outsider' also that when terrified out of her fucking mind Usagi still obediently pulls out her moon stick sailor soldier indeed there is nothing about this that is fair to her but she manages still

Usagi is the one of the girls whose life became only worse since Luna came and I'm not going to stop reiterating that

and her father is capable of /some/ actual caring he's not black and white but his actions are and it's very well done

I kind of wish the senshi could do more to help, I vaguely dislike the idea of their powers /only/ being useful to combat their Designated Foes

Rei and Ami picking on Usagi is genuinely actually really not fun even if Usagi's capable of making the best out of it