#any way have a good day y'all stay hydrated and remember to eat if you haven't already

[untoterxhund]

-

[multimystica]

Card of the Day!

Once more the same image, ik it's repetitive but I've run out of Photoshop so I may just start numbering these so y'all don't think it's the same post repeatedly. xD This is #4. Also, please remember to follow me, like and reblog! It'd help me immensely, thank you a lot!

So take a breath, think of the situation of choice and choose your card, then scroll down! I finally learned how to add the see more thing so y'all won't have to scroll past a giant post, YAY!!! :)

Card 1 - The Emperor

Rules, stability, structure! These are the themes for today. Needless to say, authority is quite relevant today.

First of all it's time to pay attention to who's in charge here, be it you, your father, a boyfriend, or a boss. This person may be quite authoritarian today, make an effort to follow their rules so things go their way, or else. *threatening tone*

In general, it's important to follow rules and to respect authorities today, but let's move on to more specific meanings.

Someone may be very controlling today - it'd be wise to evaluate wether this is a healthy thing or not. If unhealthy, it is of utmost importance that your boundaries are set today, keep them up.

In case you're the authority here (are you a parent, someone's boss, or the leader anywhere? are you in a leader-less place and feel the need to step up?) - Take charge, build foundations, set your rules and boundaries, make sure to step up to your role or you may be overthrown. Also, make sure to do so in a healthy way, don't be an asshole, know the difference between leadership and oppression, you must instill respect, but make sure you don't mistake that for instilling fear. It is also the time to be ambitious.

If you're on the bottom of the food chain - Make sure to follow the rules today, try not to be too proud, it may be a day to swallow your pride. Keep your job well done, try to stay in the good side of those above you, if you do it well enough you might be rewarded. This is definitely not the day to question orders, at all. Don't fuck up, The Emperor is strict.

Whoever you are and whatever your role may be in the power dynamic at hand, make sure your boundaries are in place & respect is maintained to and from other people. Watch out for unhealthy power dynamics, as they're likely to be shown clearly today. Also a good day for self-reflection on wether you're being too authoritarian, too strict, not placing boundaries or placing too many, anyways, take a look at the Emperor's qualities and analyze wether you're lacking or overdoing them.

Card 2 - The Empress

Creation, nurturing & mothering! These are today's main themes, along with self-care which is also quite important today.

This is a good time to care for yourself and others, but look at your own needs first. Let's go.

If you've been putting others first all the time or neglecting self-care routines - This is the time to take the day for yourself, put yourself first for once, for God's sake! Idk what your schedule is like today, but if there is any flexibility on it, it may be best to push your plans aside and care for yourself!! Make sure to eat well and nourish yourself, hydrate enough and get enough rest. This may also represent a day to be taken care of by someone else, a spa day, take a break!!! Self-care comes first for you today, no matter what. It's also a good day for getting your hair and nails done, shopping, and getting a makeover,

Now, if you always put yourself first and self-care has been kept in check - Take a look around! Look for people who need to be taken care of for the day. Your friend is down with covid? Go to their place, cook them a hearty meal and do some chores on their behalf. That's an example, but it illustrates well the idea. It's the day to do mother-like gestures for other people around you. Make sure everyone around you is well taken care of, well nourished, well rested, well hydrated, watch out for other people's needs and help them out!!! Have them take the day off for self-care if you see fit. Both topics above are specially important if you're a mother, pay attention to yourself and your children and which of you needs a day off to be taken care of for today

If you're a creative person or into arts and crafts - Today is a great day to work on your creative projects! It's also a good day to go out shopping or redecorating your home. The sky is the limit, go all out on that today. If you've been experiencing a creative block, today is the best day for you to try and overcome it, yet if it remains blocked after your attempts today, go down the self-care route and indulge yourself a bit.

If you have a eating disorder or health issues - Good healthy nourishment and care for your physical needs are a must for today, trust me. Take your bodily signs very seriously today, if anything pops up, go to the damn doctor right away! Don't procrastinate it.

A few general random tips for today - Be generous and giving. Comfort foods may come in handy today. Self indulgence is not a sin for today, it's also good to indulge others if you can. Listen to your body today, bodily needs are top priority for now. If you're into gardening, that's a great day for taking care of it as well. Also a good time for sensuality (have a dead bedroom? This is the day to bring it back to life).

Card 3 - The Lovers

Choices, love, and cooperation! These are the main themes for today, as well as personal responsibility.

In general, this is the time to make choices and celebrate all forms of love be it friendships, partnerships, committed relationships, significant others, all sorts of love. Let's get into specifics.

If you're presented with a decision or choice today - First of all, be aware your mind and heart must be aligned for it, and it's equally important that you know that if you go down a path it's likely that the other option will be sacrificed. Take your time to think it through and be certain of what you want before you decide so you don't later regret your decision.

If you've been thinking of moving forward with something - This is your confirmation to moving forward with your plans.

If you're wondering wether to take a love relationship to the next level - This is your sign that it's safe to move forward with that as long as you keep your needs in mind. This card is also a reminder that for you to love another you must learn to love yourself first so do some self-reflection about self-love and your needs before you take action to move forward with it. If your needs are being unmet yet you feel like taking this relationship to the next level, sort out your needs beforehand to avoid problems down the line. Either way, beware of relationships where you're looking for a emotional/spiritual connection but the partner is only concerned with physical connection with zero interest on something deeper. Communicate your expectations clearly and see if they're on the same page so they don't get the wrong impression.

If none of the above applies to you today - Take a good look around, there are good chances someone is interested on you, admiring you from a distance and you're not aware of it at all. A new love interest might just pop-up unexpectedly.

[moonlightchn]

𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖋 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓 𝕯𝖎𝖆𝖗𝖞 🌕 #23

Happy Monday, everyone! How have y'all been? Taking care? Eating enough? Resting and sleeping well? I certainly hope so. Summer's around the corner ain't it—. Any exciting plans? Something you're looking forward to when it comes?

Personally, I've decided to go back to college. I already have two degrees, but I guessed it wouldn't hurt anyone to get some more! I graduated college with two majors in Music Production and Music Business for those of you who don't know, had been tinking about studying some complementary minors for a while now and decided to sign up for summer classes this time around.

I'm actually really excited to get back to studying! It's been a while since I've done anything other than work at all and while I do research a lot on the daily it's just not the same as actually having classes with professionals. I like my routine but I also like to switch things up a little from time to time.

I read around and researched a lot and ended up picking Psychology and Marketing, sounds odd but it's actually very useful for someone like me who works alone and runs their own studio!

Also went over a very interesting paper about how Psychology opens the door to music therapy. Of course I'm not interested in being a therapist but it'd be nice working alongside someone one day to help people feel better, don't you think?

Have you ever thought about going back to college or has it ever been something you wanted to do? A lot of times we feel forced to get a degree, gotta reach others expectations of ourselves sometimes. I think college is a wonderful experience when done with your heart in it—. Naturally will feel like a burden if you're not really into it.

I think it's important to point out not everything is for everyone, its ok to not enjoy, not like, or not feel fulfilled with things others find exciting. Keep that in mind whenever something doesn't make you happy, remember it's ok to not enjoy things the same way others do and don't force yourself through something you don't want.

Ah—. Ok I'll stop wasting your time now! I hope everyone stays well, please take good care and don't forget to stay hydrated and wear sunblock as the days get warmer and heavier! Stay healthy out there!

[mcmoth]

Dream SMP fandom etiquette

So. This post is probably too little, too late, considering the fandom and the issues I'm about to talk about have existed for so long now, and a lot of the people who need to hear this probably aren't on tumblr anyways, but I just wanted to dedicate a quick post to talk about fandom etiquette. Mostly pertaining to discourse, and interactions with people outside of our circle. These are just going to be my own personal thoughts, of course, but I felt it could be good to bring some of this to attention. So without further introduction:

Where to (not) talk about discourse:

Don't go into other streamer's vods to only focus about a different character. If you want to analyse, for example, c!Techno, do it in Techno's stream. Don't go into unrelated streams, like Tommy's, Tubbo's etc. to do it, even if they were a part of the event in question. This is, of course, with the exception if the character in question didn't stream their own pov. But otherwise, stay in your own space. This is to prevent cluttering a streamer's comments about unrelated discussion. To give further example: Tubbo's vod comments should primarily focus on Tubbo's character. Not Tommy's, Ranboo's, Techno's or whoever else's.

Don't start discourse in the comments of animatics. Seriously, stop that. Animatics aren't discussion boards. The comments are there to analyse and appreciate the video presented, not argue. It's especially rude if you pick a small detail, that wasn't even the focus of the animatic, or even a completely unrelated issue to rant out your frustrations about. To give examples: starting disc discourse in an animatic of Tommy talking to Wilbur, or rambling about how tragic Techno's character is in an animatic focused on clingy duo, etc.

This applies to fan songs as well.

Video essays are the exception to these rules. I think it's safe to say they're the place to bring your hot takes, if you really feel so inclined to argue in youtube comment sections (Though I'd personally advise to still keep the topic relevant).

Keep negativity out of fanfic comments. This isn't nearly as big of an issue as the last points, but I've seen it happen a couple times, so I'm deciding to mention it. Fanfics are written for fun. Even if you disagree with the characterisation or something else, unless the author is clear in accepting critique, keep criticism to yourself. And definitely don't rant about how you dislike a character unrelated to the fanfic. Sharing your thoughts on the fanfic itself is of course fine and welcomed, but when it turns from discussing the author's story to talking about how you dislike a character in canon, that's when it crosses a line. Example: comment talking about what you don't like about c!Tommy on a Bench Trio fanfiction.

When commenting on art, keep the feedback positive. Even if you dislike any presented character, keep that to yourself. Example: Don't say things like "I hate x character, but this art is good". You might think the author would feel honoured, but it's actually just hurtful.

How to deal with discourse:

This is gonna be a shorter section, because I think we all chose to do it in different ways, and that's valid. Also, it's just that I, myself, am still learning how to do this well, but I thought it could be good to try to lay it out anyways.

Try to scroll past takes you disagree with instead of arguing if you don't think you'd be able to keep your cool. Noone likes a random person yelling at them through a screen, and if you rant, you'll get an equally frustrated reply back, and noone will be happy. Either explain your point in a calm manner, or scroll past/ unfollow/block.

On the keeping cool thing, remember to just step away. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down before proceeding. To minimize the frustration you feel on a daily basis, filter tags, block people, avoid videos and youtube comment sections that you know will upset you, and leave certain internet spaces if you find yourself unable to escape negativity even with all those steps. Remember: in the end, it's all a game played by friends, a story, and your enjoyment of it lies in what you take from it. Abandon what makes you unhappy. Marie Kondo your fandom experience.

Also, here's your reminder, to whom this is relevant, to take care of yourself. Hydrate, eat, sleep, clean up, get fresh air, remember the things outside of all this. There's plenty to do outside of this fandom, and what you can do here can wait. There is no pressure, or obligation. Not for the content you create, not for the discussions you bring, not for responding to discourse, not for anything. Fandom is meant purely for fun, so take care <3

Interacting with people outside of the fandom:

This is something that I've seen a bit of talk about, and I thought I'd drop in my own thoughts on this as well. No matter the differences, we're all just trying to vibe, and I think these are important things to keep in mind to leave both sides better off:

Don't interact with hate posts. Just don't. You don't want to see them, they don't want to see you. Even if your response is lighthearted, their animosity is not. They will feel frustrated regardless, and the grudge will only grow. And if they're being agressive, calm discussion most likely won't happen even if you're being polite. Just leave it, please.

Correct misinformation calmly. I completely get how it can be frustrating to see blatant lies and all, but with our reputation, people will not listen if you're being antagonistic. Provide sources, explain, and leave it at that.

Don't be hateful, send death threats, or assume privilege or whatever else. That's stepping into the same shoes of the people you hate. Misunderstandings go both ways, and the fact of the matter is, I think most people who dislike DSMP, even the ones who are agressive about it, don't have their stance rooted in maliciousness. To expand on why the situation became what it is today, taken from a discussion on discord:

I think it's just a combination of Dream growing so insanely quickly + how internet spaces have changed over the years. When ccs like jackstepticeye or pewdiepie etc. grew popular, activism wasn't as prevalent and held to such importance. Now it's thankfully more talked about, but that also leads to Dream being more scrutinized in comparision. Add twitter trends and the general prevalence of the fandom, and you've got everyone feeling tired and frustrated and paranoid. People also tend not to fact check stuff, especially when it comes to celebrities and stuff they're not really interested in, so rumors spread fast.

And actually, I think there's absolutely valid reasons to be made uncomfortable by Dream SMP, either in it's creators, content or fandom, and there is, of course, stuff to criticise in general. The problem is the hate and misinformation and overexposure, but we are not going to solve any of that by being aggressive in return.

(This is, by the way, not talking about more serious cases. Like doxxing, or leaving gore images in hashtags, or similar instances. That's a whole different complicated issue that I don't feel qualified to tackle.)

And finally, don't overwhelm outsiders who merely mention the Dream SMP. Don't send asks asking them to watch it, don't write paragraphs explaining the lore, don't confuse them with inside jokes, just... Don't jump on people like that. Unless they're explicitly clear in wanting interaction and getting into the fandom, that kind of thing will just drive them away. This is in no way exclusive to the Dream SMP fandom, pretty much every fandom has people enthiastic to have more people involved, but since there are so unbelievably many of us, it's especially easy to go overboard with this stuff. Just... be polite, and don't pressure anyone. Be nice, please.

So.... ya! This would be it for this one, I think. Sorry that it's kinda long, thank you if you read it at all. Hope y'all have pleasant days ^^

[hallow-witxh]

Ok so I've heard before that people can use witchcraft to work alongside their medications, I was wondering if you knew some tips on how to do that? If it's of any importance I wish to use this to on my antidepressants. Also I don't have many crystals and what I do I'm still working on identifying. Also something broom closet friendly. Please and thank you.

Also I really appreciate all the helpful tips I've seen on your blog they really help.

First of all, this is a really great question, and I love how you phrased it so politely. Thank you for not coming into my ask box and raging hell like so many others. If you don't mind, I'll be using your question as a post!

Witchcraft can be a helpful little friend when it comes to helping along medications and therapies, so let's talk about the safety aspect of it first. If you're planning on eating, drinking, or consuming any kind of herbal/magical/spell-like substance, ask your prescriber about what to avoid while taking medications. For example, I take Zoloft, and Zoloft shouldn't be taken with L-tryptophan supplements because it can cause issues. I also take Prazosin for nightmares, and shouldn't drink alcohol on it due to... you guessed it, various health concerns.

That being said, let's get down to business. My favorite way to incorporate witchcraft into my therapy/med routine are kitchen spells! I'll give you a few recipes, and then a list of ideas for you to research that don't involve cooking/recipes as well.

Apple Cider. Not only is it super effective, but it make your house smell amazing and they usually taste amazing too. Making Apple Cider is a great was to bring a warm, fuzzy feeling to yourself! It's super easy too: check out my Apple Cider post from yesterday (you can find it by searching Apple Magic or Apple Cider on my blog). Most of the herbs are very love and luck centered, so it's a great way to bring some self love into your home.

Strawberry self-love spell. This one is also one of my own, and it's super delicious and easy. It can be made into a number of things: drinks, cakes, oatmeal, etc. Here's the link to that post.

Herbal teas and drinks. Lots of common kitchen spices are great to help invoke self-love! Cloves, cinnamon, ginger, allspice, and nutmeg are all wholesome herbs and spices to incorporate into these drinks. One of my favorite self-love drinks is very easy to make: a cup of steaming hot milk/milk replacement, a decent shake of each spice, and a tablespoon or two of sugar with a splash of vanilla makes a delicious, warm drink that soothes the soul and invoked self-kindness.

Here are a few other ideas for you to dig into:

Incorporate herbs that invoke love, healing, and happiness into your food

Make lots of bottles of moon water and challenge yourself to drink one every day. Hydration AND a spiritual boost!

Add lemon to your water every morning to help increase your energy and focusing levels. Stir clockwise!

Create a small spell jar with love-invoking herbs and carry it with you or put it in your bag. I recommend not using wax to seal it if you do, though. Use a screw-cap jar if you need to.

Juniper and rosemary smoke cleanse! Juniper banishes negative energies and well as invites good energies. Rosemary also invoked wellness, healing, and good energies.

Frequently cleanse your space, juniper or not. An easy cleanse spray is sea salt mixed with moon water, then a very light spray around your space. Remember to sweep/mop or vacuum often when you use that, especially if you have pets!

Light pink or red candles to invoke self-love

I also want to say this again, so everyone say it with me: witchcraft doesn't replace therapy and medications. One more time, with gusto! Witchcraft doesn't replace therapy and medications!

Good job!

And that wraps up this post! Good luck y'all, stay safe and blessed be! :)

Tips and Commissions: Ko-Fi

[farfrompleasant]

Friend! Sorry I missed last week!! I have been running around like a bald chicken!!! (Like all my hair has fallen out but my head's not chopped off, yet! 😂) I'm going back to Utah this month! Holy Ghost help 😭

Speaking of hair, your new profile picture!!! 😍😍😍 The coils! The definition! The xlxmf$8_!'jrkfd my God, and am I crazy or does Miss Freyja KNOW how to Pose?! Speaking of the top of your page, did you have a birthday recently??? If so, why didn't you tell me! I would've gotten you something ❤️ it was just Tia's birthday this week too & I got her a book of poetry by one of my favs, which, 🤓

Okay alright, ahem, Happy Freyja Friday!!! I'm very early 😂 I hope it partway makes up for missing last week 😉 how are y'all doing? You still taking her out for getting used to being outside with you? Once you said she used to go out places with your partner I've felt pretty confident that you'll get there with her. I don't know anything about building a bond with reptiles or how they accumulate affection but I feel like y'all must be on your way!

She shedding this week? (I hope not, poor thing, the overachiever 😂) also I Just remembered you said shedding is kinda stinky so bless you mom too for constantly putting up with it ❤️

What has she been liking to eat nowadays? Any late summer fruit treats??? I vaguely remember you mentioning this but she doesn't eat everyday right? No frozen treats in this heat either big oof

Side note last time I went to the pet store, the box that had the peach throated monitor had a couple of turtles inside. Wonder what happened to peachy friend... You like turtles??? We had two when I was very young but they were pretty neglected in retrospect 😢 I think lizards are the perfect reptile pets, snakes have no legs which is 👎 and turtles have shells which is kind of meh lol

Oh ANOTHER heat wave in CA 💀 y'all stay cool and hydrated as much as you can!!!

Abbie is resting her chin on the sun baked stone tabletop, don't ask me why she ain't bright 😅

Omg nooo, you’re losing hair or are you speaking figuratively? I hope it’s the latter because that sounds very stressful 🥺 and oh man, you are ping-ponging from Utah to Philly at this point! Bless you 🥲 and there’s no need to stress missing last week, Freyja Fridays are to be fun and flexible c;

Dhdjkskd not you gassing meee 🥰🥰🥰 but thank you❤️ I’ve been using blue magic as a sealant and styler and it’s be going well c: and our Freyby pie knows how to pose! I think she enjoys a little camera time, especially since she’s mega photogenic 🤭 ah, idk how to uhm bring up my birthday but you would be correct it was on the 29th c: and you didn’t have to gift me anything! I’m grateful for another year well spent tbh but I appreciate you getting me something and I’m looking forward to reading it 😆 I actually teared up when I got that email… you’re the sweetest, friend ❤️

Lololol, without further ado~ Happy Freyja Friday!!! We’re doing good, Freyja’s been a tad reclusive as of late but I’ve managed to take her out onto the porch c: since schools back in session, it’s been a little challenging for me to spend more quality time with her… so it’s imperative that I handle her sometime throughout my day. But I think it’ll take more time than I’d though ;p I think it has a lot to do with them raising her throughout her juvenile life? I’m unsure but I think we’re well on our way to her being more comfortable with me and traveling 🥰

Surprisingly, she hasn’t had any shedding and I’m so happy for her 😆 like, Miss Girl is always shedding!! So you can imagine how astonishing it was to realize that there was no signs of shedding whatsoever 😭 I think it has a lot to do with me not having time to bathe her last week (which means she pooped in her enclosure… it’s been a while since that happened 🥲) but I think she needed a break or something…

Freyja’s been really into worms and surprisingly diced apples. But they HAVE to be Granny Smith’s apples; she refuses to indulge in any other ones 😂 the girl is major picky when it comes to the color of food! She typically hates green food choices, and will opt for vibrant colors like red or yellow so I was taken aback. She hasn’t been in the mood for dandelion greens or collard greens so I’m thinking of trying out basil? I know she it’s edible for her buuut she hasn’t tried it yet ;p

I’ve always wanted turtles, but I also consider caring for them to be high-maintenance. I mean, I already back bend and more to cater to Freyja so I would assume I’d be doing the most for the little lovelies… still want them though 😭 I’ve always looked at snakes to be tails with a face but they’re kinda cute 🥰 and surprisingly, they’re rather shy c:

I would say we’re trying, but I’m the one that’s trying!💀 but I will make sure that we will stay hydrated ❤️ and I’m unsure of the weather in Utah, but make sure to stay cool and hydrated, friend 🥰

ABBIE!!! She’s sooo cute 🥰 bathing in the sun, basking on the stone top 🥺 you know what, dogs and beardies are too similar because Freyja would definitely pancake in this situation 😂

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #381

“don’t try to be the one person who has stayed just to say they never left me”

Do you feel bored with your life? Always. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? I sometimes miss Colleen, but I know it's for the better that we no longer associate with each other. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? I don't know, but a fuck of a lot. Thanks, Abilify. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? Memories with Jason. What do you miss the most about college? Socializing. What was the best date you’ve ever been on? A triple date to an arcade w/ Jason and friends. What’s the last great song you discovered? The most recent one? I don't know, really. Do you feel free to post how you feel on Facebook? Yeah. Don't like what I post, delete me. Have you ever done cocaine? Yikes, no thanks. Do you think you’ll ever get married? Do you want to? I sometimes wonder if I ever will. I'm scared of just continuing to be an unemployed leech that is doing nothing significant with her life, in which case it's like, why even be with me romantically. I feel like such a dead end street. I want to get married someday. Who do you care about the most? When it comes down to it, probably my mom. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want small gauges, actually. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes, because I hate my body and don't want others to see it. Do you enjoy eating? I wish I didn't. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? No. Do you enjoy history? Not really, no. It bores me. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? I'm just about always in my pjs. Do you value looks or personality more? Personality is way more important. Have you ever changed religions? Yeah. Born Roman Catholic, converted to Christianity when I further understood the differences, then I went to how I am now: I believe in something(s), but I don't quite know what. I wouldn't call myself a Neo-Pagan, but it's what I relate most to. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? I would for like, my wedding. Foo fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: I'm actually not a big fan of either. Are you a fan of the SAW movies? I don't really watch them. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? My two immediate sisters, I'm sometimes a year off. All my others, yes. :x Mountain Dew or Sprite? Mountain Dew, of course. I really don't like Sprite now, which is ironic because as a kid, it was my favorite soda. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. Have you ever worked as a cashier? That was one of my duties when I worked at a dollar store. If you are on birth control that allows you take pills and skip your period, how often do you opt to skip it? How come? My birth control doesn't allow me to skip, but rather, it regulates it. Is there a book series where you loved the first book, but for some reason the other books in the series just didn’t measure up? I can't say that, no, as most series I just kinda fell out of, like The Hunger Games. LOVED the first book, started the second, and even though I was enjoying it, I just stopped for some reason? Are there any stores/restaurants that you would like to shop/eat at, but there aren’t any located near enough to you? Haha yeah, like lots of west coast fast food places like Jack n' the Box or however it's formatted. If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? I don't even want kids, so honestly, I'd be stoked if I learned I was infertile. Wouldn't need to worry about the chance of getting pregnant and facing an abortion dilemma. Is there something that you did not used to take seriously, that you either now take seriously or wish that you had in the past (e.g., a relationship that you miss, your education, etc.)? Hm. I don't know. Are there any subjects that you are interested in so much that you would read whole books or academic journals about them? Meerkats, especially. I will read EVERY scientific article about them I find. Are you physically affectionate with your friends? I'm a hugger. When you were in middle school and high school, did you witness a lot of bullying? How did the teachers react to name-calling or violence? Not really, thankfully. Are any of your friends/relatives actually impressive artists or writers? Are you willing to share an example of their work? Yeah. I have a cousin who's really good at drawing, and my sister is a wonderful cake decorator. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your gf/bf? My hypothetical bf/gf, no. Would you ever donate blood? I have before, and I would again if I knew I was hydrated enough and the opportunity was right there. Would you rather drink coffee or tea? Ugh, neither. Do you get easily embarrassed? YES. How long was your longest make out? TMI alert, like all night. If the person who hurt you most said they’re sorry would you believe them? I honestly don't know. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. What color is your mum's car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nope. Are you happy with your eye color? I wish they were a more sapphire blue. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? Absolutely liquid body wash. What color do you want your dream car to be? Baby pink. *-* Do you have more then one favorite band? I say I do, but at the same time I know Ozzy Osbourne will ALWAYS be #1. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? In a relationship. But it's absolutely not something I'm about to force just for the sake of being in one. Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow? Nah. Have you or would you try shark meat? No to both. Do you know anyone that's pescatarian? No. Someone I watch on YouTube is, though. Are you shy or over confident around your crushes? Super shy. Do you think the govt. has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Hell, I think it's very well possible, but I lean more towards for financial hoarding, they simply don't further pursue potential cures that are discovered. I mean, just THINK about all the "future cures" you've read or heard about. It's fucking outrageous. It's all to fuel the medical industry. Okay, tin hat coming off. Last time you drank a diet soda? A very long time ago, because diet soda gives me a massive headache. Was your ex born in America? Only one wasn't. Name your favorite type of music and why. Metal. I for one just like the sound, and I find it very therapeutic when I'm especially mad or sad. Even when I'm in a good mood, I just enjoy it. I also feel that a lot of metal songs tell interesting stories and/or have very poetic lyrics. Do you own or have you read, or thought of reading any self-help books? I haven't, but I've considered it. Can you breakdance? Definitely not. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so which one? Yes. We were assigned this one war novel in middle school that was FUCKING AWFUL, like I was checked out the whole time. I don't remember its name or anything. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so which one? Yes; the Warcraft movie I mentioned in a recent survey. Orcs and their fucking deep-ass voice that I couldn't understand. Do you blowdry your hair? No. Tell me about your dream last night. Omfgggggg y'all. So, there's one invert pet that I've never understood the keeping appeal of, and that's giant centipedes. Their bites are notoriously excruciating, and they are just SO goddamn fast. Well, for some godforsaken reason, I wanted one as a pet. Got one, and it immediately got loose. Guess who wanted to shit herself lmao. Centipedes are very cool, but only from a distance, ya feel? Have you ever stayed in a fancy high-class rich hotel? No. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel? I don't think so. Describe the worst fight you’ve ever been in whether physical or verbal. I'm not entirely sure about my *worst*, but I know it was with Mom. We've had a few. Have you heated any food in your microwave today? Yeah, a shrimp alfredo Lean Cuisine bowl. Do you own any items of clothing with cartoon characters on them? Yes. Have you ever played Animal Crossing? No, it doesn't seem like my kinda game. Do you own anything (e.g jewelry, accessories) with your initial on it? Yes, but none of which I personally bought because I don't really like them. Do you own any cats or dogs? What are their names? I have a cat named Roman. <3 Have you added any books to your shelves lately? Which? No. Have you bought any new cosmetics or toiletries lately? Which? No. Do your pets have a specific type of food that they prefer? Roman will eat whatever cat food he's given, while Venus, like your average ball python, is a picky eater. Like when I first got her, she wouldn't eat for almost a year because I just couldn't find a method through which she'd accept food. Now she consistently takes frozen/thawed small rats that have actually sat in warm water (versus doing it by hand under running water), and she generally won't strike it unless it's offered to her by tongs, but not dangling by the tail. Picky, picky miss thang. What's your favourite variety of apple? I'm not very particular about flavor so long as the apple is crisp. I canNOT do soft apples. Which of your physical features do you receive the most compliments about? My hair.

[ssfghfrrggf]

Day 1

I finally got around to writing about my first day of survival and rescue training from a month ago. I know some of y'all were intrested in reading it! So here's day one:

Preface

Being a firefighter isn’t a task to be tackled by the faint of heart, the training alone will test your character and strength and your heart. Training is where all the people crazy enough to pursue their dream of spending their life running into burning buildings and dancing with death for the sake of saving others discover whether they are actually crazy enough to do it. And you do have to be crazy to do it.

Firefighter survival and rescue training is to teach you how to survive when survival isn’t looking like an option and it’s to teach you how to save your buddy too, it also just so happens to push you to your limits and then push you further, to test your will and dedication. It not only teaches you how to survive, but whether you can actually survive the job you so desperately want to do. Day one is all about you and your survival. Day two is about learning to save your friend, your brother or sister, your fellow firefighter.

This is my account of Day 1

The Importance of a Mayday

The class starts at 8:00 AM. I live a half an hour away from where the first part of the day is going to take place. I get up at 5:30, which in my humble opinion is way too early for any living thing to be awake. I stay in bed for a good 20 minutes before I finally crawl out of my cozy warm bed and get dressed in my cloth that I have specially laid out for the day: my fire department t-shirt, my black cargo pants, and my fire department issued beanie. Then I make my way down stairs. Despite the butterflies in my stomach I eat a big breakfast and go off to load my 40 pound bag of firefighter gear in the car. That all takes me a good half an hour. I shouldn’t leave the house until at least 7:00. I end up leaving at 6:45. I am almost an hour early to class. An hour I spend with sweaty palms and nervous jitters. I’ve been amped up all week worrying about this class and dwelling in the existential fear that I won’t physically be able to survive this weekend. (it’s a back to back class. 8 hours on saturday and 8 hours on sunday (sunday ends up being closer to 10 hours))

In the classroom we are taught a lot of things. Mostly all the ways in which things can go horribly wrong for us, and all the ways we can die. We watch videos, some of which rattle me to my core, and I wonder if I'm the only one who’s shook as I look around the silent room of firefighters from all different departments in the state. I think that maybe I am. Most of them have seen a thing or two, and been on their fair share of calls. Even my buddy Adam has seen his first structure fire and he's younger than me. I am the newest person in the room, hell I'm not even allowed out on calls yet. In a lot of ways I'm right where I should be, in other ways I feel wildly out of place.

We're told about the old days of old mustache endowed men running into fires and eating smoke (literally, most trucks back in the day only carried one or two air packs, and if you took one you were a pussy). In the old days wearing an air pack and calling a mayday were held on the same level of "you wimp!" Right along with therapy. How the times have changed. Now if you go in air pack free, Osha will have you, your captain, and probably your chief too (just for good measure)’s asses. And if you get cancer the department won't do jack because "sorry buddy, you should've had an air tank" (every truck now has more than enough tanks to go around). Therapy has also become encouraged (you'll still occasionally get the big ol' old timer with a big white mustache who will tell you to suck it up), now we know bottling up feelings can be just as deadly as a flashover. And finally the importance of calling a mayday. It used to be shameful to have your ass dragged out by your buddies, but now it's encouraged. If you're in trouble you had damn well better call that mayday. We're told to practice calling one every morning in front of the mirror, because if you can't piece together what you need to say while you're standing safe at home there's no way in hell you're gonna be able to do it when you're fearing for your life.

Mayday's aren't pretty and neat like they are on tv, and they're certainly not that calm or audible. We listened to a few videos of maydays, and half the time you can't hear half of what's being said, hell you're lucky if you make out one of the three maydays (you always say it three times, then call your name, last known location, what kind of trouble your in, and what your air's at. That's the ideal mayday anyway). There's even a story of a firefighter that called a mayday and the only reason they knew about it was because a civilian heard it on their scanner and called 911 wondering if it was something to be concerned about. We were also told once you call your mayday keep trying to get out but keep reporting your location so RIT can find you. Calling a mayday can save your ass. You might get made fun of for it, but that’s a whole hell of a lot better than dying. The only place egos get you is dead. So when in doubt, call the mayday and if you get yourself out of trouble you can always radio in and cancel it. You’re buddies would rather haul your ass out of a fire than have to burry you.

There's so much more we went over in that class and so many important things, but if I try to go into all of it, it will take hours (3 or 4 is about how long we were in that classroom). So I'm going to get onto the better stuff.

Morning Line Up

I hook a ride to the outdoor training ground with my buddy Adam. We get McDonald's on the way there as our lunch (it’s about 11:30 maybe 12:00). I know I should hydrate before we start off the day of hard work ahead of us, but there are no bathrooms at the training ground and I really don't want to have to go pop a squat behind a bush and try to do it in bunker gear. I drink a little water, finish up lunch in Adam's car with him and then we get geared up and head toward the group of firefighters beginning to gather around the big red training building. The building is really a little breath taking. It's constructed of red shipping containers and about three stories tall. It looks a little like a fort (sadly none of us will end up going into it. Our work is all done outside.) 

It takes some time for everyone to finally get gathered around the instructors, but we finally do and then we're split into two lines and told to stand there. Then a big tall guy, we'll call him Hodge, steps in between the two lines and begins to walk the length of them. I feel a speech coming, and I'm right, and it's glorious. He walks up and down our lines, his breath freezing in the morning air and catching the sun light, and joining with the breath of everyone else there. It's really a beautiful awe inspiring sight. One i won't forget. For  the life of me I can't remember what all was said, but it was awe inspiring  and if I hadn't been surrounded by close to 30 other firefighters i probably would've cried. What i can remember is he told us today- the whole weekend really- would kick our asses (it did) and that we're really just a big group of crazy people with a purpose. He told us that it's okay to be scared, any normal person would be especially when it comes to diving head first out a second story window onto a ladder or lowering yourself out a second story with nothing but a rope, your own two hands and a halligan. He said it was okay to be scared, but what matters is what you do in the face of that fear. That's what sets us apart. That's what defines us. He also told us the day would test us and push us to our limits, but "can't" isn't something that should ever be said. He told us what can't means. Can't means you don't make it home. Can't means maybe someone else doesn't make it home. Can't means he doesn't get to see his kids again. Can't gets people killed. Can't is not an option. And i would later discover deep down, can't is something i just don't have in me.

You Want Me to be The Group Leader?

After the lineup and the speeches are over, each line is split into 3 groups and we are all given air tanks to wear for the day (you don't know back pain until you wear one of those things for close to 5 hours while being on your feet). Then we each line forms a circle over in the grass, we're taught how to go low profile in our tanks. The gist of it it is: you loosen your straps, and slide the tank over so it's between your side and your arm so you can fit through tight spaces. It's pretty simple. Then we are told to split off into the groups we were assigned and one of the instructors b-lines for me, points to me and says "you're the group leader". I am shook to say the least, and the least qualified person in the group to be the leader, but no one says anything. I get everyone's names (and can't remember them now), but i can remember distinguishing features for all of them. There's the guy who likes Jack from station 19, the german guy, another girl, and the super quiet guy in the black turnout gear who frankly i kept forgetting existed and looked like a middle schooler (what a great group leader i am). 

Our first drill is diving through a hole a wall and then climbing and hanging out a window cill. I have no problem getting through the hole, i have some problems getting turned around in the tight space and i have a lot more problems getting up to the window cill because i am very short. I use the halligan as a step stool and manage it. Everyone else in the group goes after me. If you ever want to be amazed just watch firefighters do this drill. There are still some guys that i still don't know how they fit through that hole in the wall or back out the window. But as i like to say, you'd really be amazed what firefighters can fit into. After everyone in the group goes, i go again. It's smoother this time, and I know how to properly use the halligan as a step stool. Everyone else goes again, and then we go to the next station: following hoselines. 

It's really pretty cut and dry. You keep both hands on the line at all times, if you're in a mayday situation you make sure the people outside know what color line you're on so they can find you easier. If you come across couplings on the hose, the easiest way to figure out if your heading outside is to recite a helpful little phrase (one that i love) "smooth bump bump to the pump". One coupling has a smooth part then a bump, the second coupling only has a bump. If the order that go is smooth, bump, bump, then you know you're heading to the pump which is outside. They teach us how to figure that out by just feeling aka we're blind folded for the drill. Also I'm slowly discovering that my job as group leader is moot. The group doesn't need much direction. Not that I'm really qualified to give it anyway.

The next skill on our little skill itinerary is learning how to untangle yourself when you can't see anything. When we do this skill the group splits into two sections to save time. Me and two other firefighters (the german and the guy who looks like jack from station 19) go to one instructor, the rest of the group goes to the other. I go first. How the drill goes is you crawl along blind folded and then the instructor will use two ropes attached to side of the shipping container building to get you nice and tangled up. Your job is to not panic and get yourself free from the rope. I, by some miracle, manage to do it pretty well both times. Then the German goes, and i gotta say it's more stressful to watch than it is to actually do it. You can see exactly what needs to be done, but the person doing it can't, and you're not allowed to help. The german frees himself pretty easily and then leaves to go stand with his buddies who are all cheering on the last member in that section of the group who appears to be struggling a great deal. I stay and wait while the who looks like Jack goes through the drill. He has a hard time of it. At one point he has the rope wrapped three times around his air tank. I stay right where I am waiting for him until he's done. I feel an obligation to stay, i'm the group leader, and I'm not gonna leave him alone. He eventually frees himself and we all regroup. Then it's time for the ladder and rope stuff.

Head First Out the Window

It's a scary concept, and a scary practice, all done to prepare you for some future scary situation. They want us to dive head first out a window, hook your arm on one rung, grab two rungs below that with your other hand and then use gravity to twist around so you're upright, all while a good 20 feet in the air. If you do it wrong you could dislocate your shoulder, break your arm, fall off the ladder or do all three. They have you hooked up to a safety harness just in case, but it's still scary standing in that second story window and staring down at all the people below you and then diving out the window. It goes against human nature. You are not supposed to dive out of anything 20 feet in the air and you're not supposed to go head first down ladders and yet- that's exactly what we're supposed to do… TWICE

I have butterflies in my stomach waiting to go up to dive out the window. My buddy Adam is a head of me in line and he seems to just be absolutely PUMPED. I watch him go through the window and he doesn't hesitate, he just dives down the window and flips around like he's done it a million times. I'll discover Adam is Just Like That. Before long it's my turn. I'm standing next to the window getting hooked up to the safety harness and I'm looking down at everyone and I'm beginning to question my life choices. I've done some crazy things in my life, but this is by far the craziest (it will shortly be one upped). I don't just go straight out the window, I take my sweet time and i go slow. But I do it and… it's actually a blast! I don't just want to go one more time, I wanna do it for the rest of the day! The second time waiting in line to do it again me and Adam are vibrating a chattering wildly because it was fucking awesome! Adam goes, I go again, this time with a little more speed. But my end result isn't as pretty. I end up with one foot on the ladder and the other off. When i get on the ground I am informed by an instructor that they thought I was gonna fall. 

Just Tip Out the Window

If I thought diving head first out the window was the craziest thing I'd do that day, I was really very wrong. That prize goes to me lowering myself out the window with just my own two hands, a rope, a halligan, some physics, probably a little bit of luck, and a whole ton of guts. How it works is: you sit on the window cill like you're sitting on a horse, one end of your rope is attached to a halligan that is anchored into place in the corner of the window, you drop the long part of your rope out the window behind you, then you hold the two sides of the rope together in front of you kind of like a belt (this process is way easier to show than explain using just words on a page). It's kind of like you're making a horseshoe around yourself. Then you lean forward and tip out the window, kind of like how you'd dismount a horse. If done properly you should be facing the sky and have your back to the ground. Then to lower yourself you just loosen your grip on the rope a little and to stop you tighten your grip. The friction is what stops you from falling full speed and hitting the ground. I know all that babble doesn't sound simple, but it really is very simple and straightforward. And you're attached to a safety harness just in case something goes wrong, which should be comforting but really isn't.

You discover something about yourself when you're sitting 20 feet in the air getting ready to entrust yourself to mere physics  (and a safety harness that somehow doesn't even register as existing). I'm sitting there thinking about how absolutely right good ol' Hodge was right about having to be crazy to do this. And as I sit on that window ready to tip out in all ways except for mentally, I'm wondering if maybe I am not as crazy as i thought i was and if i'm actually crazy enough to cut it. I've never been a fan of heights, so looking down at the ground and all the other firefighters looking up at me is absolutely terrifying. And there is a moment where I seriously consider saying nevermind and getting off the window cill and walking back down safely. This skill isn't even required to pass the class. But as I sit on that window cill i discover a very important part of myself, i discovered my point of no return, which was probably all the way back on the first step leading to the window. Once I start I can't stop. I wanted to climb off that window cill and run back down to safety, but I was incapable of doing so. I had come this far, so I was going all the way. I had started so I wasn't going to stop. Once I start something that I am truly passionate about or want really badly to succeed at,  I can't stop until I've seen it through all the way, and I think that is going to carry me through the rest of my career. My inability to back down. There’s no can’t.

I gripped my rope tight and tipped over out the window. I lowered myself down and the whole thing probably only took 10 or 15 seconds. As soon as my feet hit the ground I wanted to go again, sadly we were only allowed to do it once. Adam however managed to worm his way through the line a second time. Lucky sneaky bastard.

I still want to lower myself out more windows and whenever anyone does it on tv i get jealous.

Closing Speeches

No one's allowed to leave the training grounds until everything was cleaned up and put away. Once clean up is done the instructors all gathered us into a big group and we get some nice closing speeches from the different instructors about how we did a great job. Surprisingly enough the only thing Hodge says is a curt "good job", i guess he used up all his speech giving for the day that morning. Once all the instructors are done talking to us, Hodge stands up and very loudly says, for all to hear, "Like they say at the end of classes in the academy. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here so get the hell of the property." And with that we are released.

[amphetameme-queen-blog]

If you slip up...

Here’s my master list of how to take care of yourself after a b/p, stay strong my lovelies!

1. Physical Damage Control

Teeth -

It's usually a warning sign to have bad teeth as someone less than seventy years old. It's a 'classic' symptom of bulimia and I've heard a lot of (rookies) swear by brushing their teeth. DON'T FUCKIN DO IT MAN. I used to b/p anywhere between three to ten times a day at my worst, but I always kept a handy supply of TUMS or antacids on me. Your teeth become weakened when you b/p in the first place, so the abrasiveness of toothbrush bristles tends to wear down on your enamel. I never brushed my teeth after I would purge, and I've been b/p'ing on and off for about four years now. Like I said - ten times a day at the worst. I went to the dentist last month and they said that my teeth were like, perfect. It was actually shocking. Thank god for chemistry I suppose.

So how does it work? Well, the calcium carbonate (the main ingredient of TUMS) neutralizes the hydrochloric acid (stomach acid) on our teeth like it would in our stomach. It's basically a high school chemistry equation.

CaCO3+ HCl -> CaCl2 + CO2 + H2O.

The symptoms you'll get (after an antacid) is basically just burping up the CO2 lol. It's much more preferable to tooth decay, might I say. OH and if you don't have any antacids on you, baking soda works in the same way. Just put a teaspoon of baking soda into water, swish it around your mouth, and spit it out. It doesn't taste great, but you could probably mix it with a little alcohol-free toothpaste so it tastes more minty. I highly recommend against swallowing baking soda because it will most likely irritate your stomach and make you even more nauseous, and not in an emetic way. (Ana butterflies don't get any stupid ideas it's not gonna work like you think). Swallowing baking soda just makes you kind of uncomfortable, really.

Y'all need to floss too. I sound like I've got a major stick up my ass, because who actually flosses flossing is for old people and l0zers fuck that shit. Nope. Flossing once before you go to bed helps your teeth against yellowing, in my experience. I wouldn’t recommend flossing post-purge as your gums tend to be much more sensitive. ‘Cuz who’s trynna get gingivitis yeah no one.

Sinuses -

​Remember that time you (regrettably) b/p’d on rice? And you felt that rice grain up there and took a napkin and blew fuckin snot rice into your napkin, like the sexy beast you are?

Yeah I remember that too.

It’s pretty apparent that stomach acid anywhere besides your stomach is a recipe for havoc. The stomach acid eats away at the mucous membranes in your nose, leading to constant sniffling, loss of smell, and chronic sinus infections. Even if you don't feel irritation in your nose immediately following a b/p, the acid can still lead to damage.

So how do you remedy this?

From my experience, the Neti-Pot saline rinse is the best bet. You can use the one that looks like a tea kettle or the one that's a squeezy bottle - both do the same thing. I have the squeezy bottle and it's really simple to use. You add water up to the fill line

And then you pour the saline packet into the bottle and mix thoroughly (just shake the bottle). Be sure to use FILTERED DRINKING WATER because tap water often contains heavy metals like copper or iron, which isn't good for your nose. Then put the plastic bottle with the saline-water solution into the microwave for approximately 35 seconds, and be careful to make sure it isn't too hot. Make sure it's just slightly warm and then screw the cap on tightly. Lean over a sink and gently squeeze the bottle into one nostril until the water comes out the other. Don't worry, it doesn't provoke the dreaded “oh god there's water in my nose I feel like I'm drowning” feeling. Your sinuses are connected and because the water is warm (like body temperature) it won't come as a shock to your body. Repeat the process on both nostrils until the bottle is done.

I've had actual chunks of food come out of my nose before, and I'm like, “shit, that would have just been hangin out in my nose the entire time?” So it's really important for preventing sinus infections or acid damage to the nasal cavity.

​Electrolyte Imbalances -

​If I had a dollar for the amount of times I've seen THAT PICTURE of the dead bulimic girl I would be richer than Donald Trump. Yeah, she died from gastric rupture blah blah blah but I always see blogs referencing that picture with the danger of heart failure and death in bulimics.

Despite how frequently I used to purge, I'm not dead yet! Hurray I guess! I used to get serious heart palpitations after a long day of purging, but I could mitigate some of those side effects with proper hydration and electrolyte drinks.

I ain't talkin no purple Gatorade shit either. Gatorade isn't as hydrating as one would think. It's made for athletes who are working out and sweating, and releasing salt through their skin. Gatorade replenishes the sodium and sugar, but if you're not working out/sweating a lot, the extra sodium could cause water retention *panics* The best option for electrolyte-replenishing is coconut water, in my opinion. It's naturally high in potassium, which is the principle electrolyte lost by vomiting. Pedialyte takes a close second for hydration because it's designed to replenish electrolytes, like if you have the flu or something. You can buy Pedialyte over the counter at most (American) pharmacies.

Electrolytes are important in muscle contraction, which includes the heart. This is why many bulimics die from heart attacks

Of course, the best way to get potassium is through potassium-rich foods. Some examples:

Avocado

Acorn squash

Spinach

Sweet potato

Wild-caught salmon

Dried apricots

Pomegranate

Coconut water

White beans

Banana

Source: Dr. Axe

Y'all also gotta be mindful of your magnesium too. Magnesium is lost (most notably) through diarrhea and thus laxative abuse. Here's how to remember the electrolytes:

Potassium is lost through Purging and Magnesium is lost by taking Mega Shits.

I'm laughing bahahah but I shouldn't be because the magnesium thing is no joke.

2. Psychological Damage Control

The Post Purge Freakout-

​Quit playin. You know what I’m talkin’ about, that anxiety like fuck fuck fuck what did I just do I’m a worthless human I deserve to-

Stop.

These thoughts seem real, like ground-breaking realizations that affirm your worthlessness and desire to continue hurting yourself with ED behaviors. Diffusing these thoughts feels like the hardest thing to do in the moment, of course, but self-care is one of the most important factors in preventing another episode. I’m not trying to be some over-simplifying, self-righteous therapist who thinks that mindfulness is the only way out ‘it’s all about positive self talk, honey!’ Nah fam, anyone who’s dealt with the vicious cycle of bulimia knows it’s not that fuckin’ easy, and so I’m not trying to sugarcoat the fact that post-b/p self-care can be really goddamn difficult.

The best post-b/p self care I’ve implemented is putting on cozy pajamas (if you’re at home) and just taking a five minute break from what you’re doing to listen to music, draw/write, or go on a short walk. Let yourself feel comfy and secure, like being wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket. Give yourself just five minutes to collect your feelings, and realize that a past slip-up can’t determine the future. Because that’s all it is - in the past. What’s in the past is done, and no amount of hateful self talk or self-injury will change that. But what you do in the present is what matters. Think about it as a fork in the road -

“Okay, so I just binged and purged, I have urges to hurt myself or compensate for what I just did, but what will happen if I don’t do either of those things?”

Nothing.

You might panic. You might cry. Let the tears come, if you are in a safe place where you feel you can do so. We know that the day might have sucked, but time stops for no one. The next thing you know, it’s the next morning. The sun is shining through your window, you are alive and your body is resilient. BOI IT’S A NEW FUCKIN DAY! YESTERDAY WAS A CAN OF SHIT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, TODAY DOESN’T HAVE TO BE. The important thing is that you lived through those horrible feelings, and you’ll remember that. You’re stronger, more resilient, and persistent than you think. You don’t even have to be in recovery to apply this. That’s not what I’m getting at. If you’re pursuing a goal, whether it be eating at regular intervals or meeting a certain calorie limit, there are going to be times you might mess up. And good god, it is absolutely okay.

Imagine yourself going to bed the next night, realizing that you had your first binge free, purge free day since you could remember. Knowing that you fought your urge to b/p will help you remember that next time, “hey, I’m stronger than my urges.”

I guess what I’m emphasizing here is self-forgiveness. I know a lot of people’s ED’s are driven by self-hatred and you’re all such beautiful human beings who deserve to love yourself as others love you. Wow. That got really deep real fast. But hey, I’ve been through it all.

~

Yo. I'm gonna add more to this, but only if people are interested in my ED-related writing. I'm actually working on a blog right now but I figured I might as well post some stuff here for feedback. PLEASE comment I would love to hear from you guys. 'Do I write like a sappy self-help book'? 'Is it relatable and/or helpful?' Let me know in a comment or DM what you're feelin about it. Sending hugs!

[jaeminlore]

werewolf!sicheng

here we go w the next monster in the monct house

the way sicheng appeared is a bit of a sad tail tale tbh

so as a werewolf, sicheng was a part of a pack deep in the woods behind monct’s house

he didn’t even know it was there tbh

in case this isn’t obvious,,, sicheng is the runt of his pack

and he basically gets picked on all the time especially by the alfa and the beta of the pack

like they make everything extra hard on him and basically scold him when he can’t do the impossible

and one day sicheng has just had enough like he’s terrified that his own pack members are going to go too far with their punishments and actually kill him

he used to be afraid of running away bc he knew that he would be officially classified as a rogue and his scent wouldn’t belong to any pack

he’d be on his own,,,, and treading back into any kind of pack territory would be an immediate death sentence

and he’s scared and alone,, but he knows this is what he has to do

a pack is supposed to be a family,,, and sicheng only feels like a prisoner

so one night he darts off

he’s the quickest werewolf in his pack, so this works in his favor

OH wait let’s describe the wv: werewolf visuals for a moment shall we

okay you know during johnny’s communication center when winwin looks super duper soft and his hair is that pretty shade of copper brown i know y'all sleep on his visuals but you have to remember look

bc when sicheng transforms into his wolf version, his fur is that same soft copper and his eyes are still big and curious to the world

and he’s limber, both as a wolf and as a human

but he isn’t the slyest,,,, and within ten minutes of running he can already hear his alfa howling from the pack headquarters

it’s threatening and scary and maybe ten minutes is a good head start in human speed but as a werewolf sicheng is doomed if he doesn’t find a hiding place quick

he darts to the left until he sees a light,,,,,, which he realizes is a human house

and…….. tbh………. he’s never seen a human before like he’s heard a bunch of legends about how they’re scary creatures who poke monsters w pitchforks and light werewolf homes on fire

so he’s highkey terrified to go anywhere near the house

but he needs to hide, so he squeezes through the doggy door in the back door of the house

and he panics once he’s in the house bc he can sniff humans and he’s terrified of them finding him so he runs up the stairs,,, into the first room he can find,,,, and he crawls under the bed

and he’s just hoping all the werewolves in his pack won’t come into the house,,, but he knows they can smell him,,,,,

so hesitantly he creeps out from under the bed and looks around for any kind of cologne or perfume

his eyes finally catch on an entire perfume shelf lol like whoever owns this room must collect them for the aesthetic or smth

sicheng just thinks he’s lucky

he transforms back into his human form and like grabs the vials,,,,, and just pours them all over his body,,,,,, and then he pours the rest into the carpet, transforms back into his wolf form,,,,, and rolls around in it to mask his natural scent

this is how you find him LOL

you had just gotten back from your classes and you can smell the absolute floral and fruity storm wafting from your room

and you walk in to see a wolf rolling around in spilled perfume

and tbh you’re a bit startled at first, but you’re even more startled when the wolf notices you and retreats to the corner of your room, its tail between its legs

“hey,,, doggo,,,, idk how you got in here but would you like some food? my moms got a whole t-bone steak in the freezer that i kinda don’t want to cook up so,,,, you can have it if you want”

and the wolf kind of cocks his head to the side as if it’s confused,,,,,,, and before your eyes the wolf forms into a boy,,, a rlly cute boy that is

and he pulls his knees up to his chest like “aren’t you going to poke me w a pitchfork for stealing your perfume?”

you kind of shrug like “look my grandma gets me new perfume every year for my birthday and christmas so i’m just glad they’re finally getting some use.”

“oh” and his voice is so soft and low like he geuinely looks scared of you,,,,, he keeps discreetly checking you out through his eyelashes, only to duck down when you make eye contact w him

“why’d you put it all on anyway?”

nd v v quietly and slowly, sicheng explains how he is a werewolf running away from an abusive pack,,,, and he’s afraid of being caught

and youre like dude!! don’t worry abt it let’s get you cleaned up and fed before i call some friends

so while sicheng takes a bath and gets all the dirt, grime, and fragrance off of him,,,, you call up human!doyoung,, who you know from university

“yo don’t you live at that monster house? can you take one more?”

doyoung agrees to set up a sleeping place for yet another monster

so when sicheng comes out of the bath, freshly clothed in an oversized sweater and some sweatpants you found, you grab his hand like “i found you a place to live!”

and he’s lowkey not rlly excited like he’s already met enough new people for one day thank you very much

but you’re persistent that these people will help him a lot more than you ever could

and you lowkey can’t have a boy at your house when your parents come home it just won’t end well

so sicheng agrees and you drop him off at the monct house

and the first to welcome him is zombie!yuta, who smells like a mix of rotting flesh and honey, and witch!mark, who is excited to meet his new roommate

and sicheng is pretty closed off for the first few days like he accepts the food doyoung slides under his door and then he sleeps the rest of the time

now listen,,,,, around the full moon,,,,, werewolves are forced to transform to like their top physical wolf form

and it isn’t like the soft wolves in the forest,,,, it’s like those creepy walking wolf creatures with elongated spines and long nails

and it hurts a lot,,,, but it can also make sicheng rlly horrible for the night like every wolf gets bloodthirsty and violent and just wants to kill

sicheng warns the rest of the boys abt this and they agree to lock him in a spare bedroom for the night

and none of them can sleep during the night bc sicheng is howling and whimpering and he sounds like he’s in so much pain

mark leaves in the middle of the night to his room to “work on something”

and shapeshifter!jaemin,, after nearly biting off his lower lip in worry, finally transforms into a puppy and toddles over to the bedroom to peak under the crack in the door

he barks for a bit,,,,,,, and it’s like the wolf in sicheng felt a bit of comfort

like wolves are pack creatures and can get super lonely, alright,,,, and sicheng’s been lonely his entire life like he’s never ever been comforted by anything or anyone before

and the rest of nct take after jaemin’s lead,,, like forest fairy!jeno does what he can to try and make passion flowers (which have been proven to calm a dog’s seperation anxiety) grow under the door

witch!mark comes out of his bedroom w a few potion vials under his arm and soot in his hair “i made some healing and sleeping potions for as soon as he’s out of there”

and doyoung calls you bc well,,, you knew sicheng first and he feels it’s important you know what’s happening

but when you get there they seem to have it under control

ghost!jaehyun slides through the walls every hour to update everyone on sicheng’s condition,,, and the worn out werewolf has fallen asleep to the sounds of jaemin speaking puppy talk to him and the sweet scent of the calming plants jeno keeps growing out of nervousness

the next day when sicheng comes out everyone is babying him hardcore

like vampire!taeil wraps a wool blanket around his shoulders and imp!chenle and imp!jisung decided to refrain from unscrewing the salt jar, just so sicheng could have a peaceful morning, and witch!mark is shoving potions down sicheng’s throat

even swamp monster!taeyong becomes motherly w his water bottles reminding sicheng to stay hydrated after his long night!!!!

and sicheng just starts crying???

invisible man!ten is like what did we do what did we do taeiL YOU MADE HIM CRY

but sicheng can only shake his head like “i’m not upset,,, i’m happy”

you dump an entire steak meal in front of him like eat this while you talk you need strength

but all of nct are waiting for an explanation

so sicheng just opens up abt his previous pack and how mean they were for no reason,,,, and he lifts his shirt to show everyone all the scars he has from their cruel punishments

and he looks at you, who nods for him to keep talking,,,,,, and sicheng finally looks at the rest of monct like

“you guys have shown me what a true pack is,,,, i’ve never felt this loved and safe,,,, thank you,,,”

and now it’s an entire monster crying fest like you write your number down on a note and leave it for sicheng before getting the heck out of there

bc when taeyong cries it’s like a mini flood and no one wants to be ankle-deep in that swamp water if they can help it

but everyone is so touched they can’t help it???

IT’S A GROUP HUG

and after that sicheng is a lot less quiet around the boys and you

he helps cook and clean and sometimes gets caught chasing his tail when he’s bored

jaemin still transforms into a puppy whenever he wants just so wolf!sicheng has someone to run around with

and sicheng doesn’t call you bc he has no idea how to use a phone

taeil helps him w a lot of stuff like that

yuta tried to teach sicheng how to flirt but that rlly didn’t turn out great

turns out sicheng can’t flirt at all and has no idea how to act on a date like your first date consists of food cooked by taeil and then a nap on the couch

10 outta 10 really you thought it was great

so yeah sicheng is still learning some stuff

but he learns rlly fast and his savagery skills even outdid the dreamies after he practiced a bit

he’s a great edition to the house

except when he transforms into a wolf and sits on the couch,,, he sheds everywhere and doyoung will not hesitate to chase him w a vacuum cleaner

yeah,,, and also,,,, after a few months sicheng stopped being able to smell his old pack,,,, so they must’ve left the woods to find a warmer home for winter

sicheng is so releaved and happy

he finally has a home and friends who love him and a person he highkey already has his heart he just doesn’t quite know what that means yet

so yeah,,, that’s werewolf!sicheng !!

this was fun to write! sorry there wasn’t much sicheng x reader! anyway, part of the collab w @trickortaeil ♥️

[all-i-do-is-study]

Things I've Learned From My First Week of School

Hey y'all my first week of sophomore year is over, and here's some things I've learned and want to share with y'all to make sure the rest of the year is straight:

- Memorize your schedule. Preferably before school starts. I know it may take a little bit to do it, but especially for people like me with rotating schedules, this is necessary to be at the right class, on time.

- Get into a routine. This may not work for everybody, but routines are my life so I have to go through my morning routine to feel like the day is starting off right. I recomend things like waking up around to same time, doing your morning hygiene (washing your face, brushing your teeth, showering, etc.) in the same order everyday.

- EAT BREAKFAST. Please. It doesn't even have to be big. Just please eat something in the morning.

- Pick out your clothes the night (or week) before. Every Sunday I take a look at the weather forecasts and pick out my clothes for the entire week. I realize that might not be for everybody so at least do it the night before, it will save you so much time in the morning.

- Pack your bags the night before. I really cannot stress how important it is to do things at night to save yourself time and stress in the morning because I know I forget to do or bring things in the mornings. Especially if you play sports and have to bring a uniform or clothes for practice.

- Face. Masks. I don't know about y'all but I break out at the beginning of school and during times where I have a lot going on. These really me and help you relax a couple of minutes during your very busy week.

- Use your study hall. This should be self-explanatory. If you are lucky enough to have a study hall at any point in your high school career, use it. Please. It is so useful.

- Bring a water bottle. Hydrate or DIE-drate. But seriously, it will help keep your skin clear and also help you stay awake in class. Trust me. You may have to pee a lot but better that than to be yelled at/ embarrassed for falling asleep.

- Get/use your locker. As someone who has back problems (scoliosis) and wears a back brace to school everyday, keeping my backpack light is a must. The easiest way to do that is to get a locker and put the books you are not currently using in there; also, only bring home the books of the classes you have homework in or need to study for. Don't break your back kids.

- Keep a sweatshirt in your locker. Again, I don't know about y'all but it is FREEZING in the classroom at my school, so keep a warm jacket or sweatshirt in your locker just in case you forget to wear/bring one ever. Or if the one you brought wasn't warm enough.

- Bring snacks. Y'all. I cannot stress this one enough. We all get hungry, and it's best to be prepared. Especially if you didn't eat breaksfast or have practice after school. You never know which teachers are gonna let you eat in class. Some of them might surprise you.

- Bring money. It's always good to have like $20 on you for emergencies. Like buying food for example.

- Head down, Grades up. Freshman, I'm looking at you. Please remember that while it's good to have fun, high school it's where grades start to matter (although they aren't everything!). It will benefit you much more and the short and long term to stay away from drama and cut the people that are involved.

[hamilkilo]

Hustle and Bustle of Everyday Life

BRAWL IN THE STREETS PT 6 Pairing: Poly!Hamilsquad X Reader Prompt: the reader wakes up to see the boys stayed the night before they have to go to work. A/N: thank you so much for all of your love and support so far! I’m sorry I’ve been MIA! I just graduated and things have been hectic, but I promise to be more active soon! If you need me to tag something, please let me know! I want you to feel safe when reading my work! I love y'all so so much! Please, feel free to make requests! TW: Fluff, mentioning hangovers briefly, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF Tagged: @@kanadianwithashippingproblem @mailjeevxs @superwholockbooknerd526 @godd Word Count: 1474

You woke up the next morning with a slight, but bareable, hangover. You couldn’t remember much from last night, but you guessed Laf had kept you hydrated. Your alarm was going off, and you groaned into the dark. You fumbled around, trying to find the snooze button. Your head was pounding, and the stupid thing kept beeping. “Y/N, make it stop,” a gravely voice mumbled from beside you, and you nearly fell from the bed. “Hercules!” You bolted upright, immediately checking that you still had your clothes on. You did. Thank goodness. You’d want to remember the sex if you ever slept with them. “Stop shouting, it’s too early for outside voices,” he whined as he turned in bed and grabbed you. He snuggled up against you as you reached for the clock you could make out on the nightstand. It was still beeping. You blushed at the sudden contact, not used to others being so affectionate. Wait. Did they never go home? Did they just stay at your place? Where were the others? Why was Herc the one in your bed? “Herc, I have to get up,” You sighed as you stretched for the clock, putting your questions aside for now and focusing on the task at hand. “But I’m so tired, and you’re so warm,” he replied, but he let you go, and you crawled to the clock, hitting the off button. You got out of the bed and shuffled towards the kitchen, leaving the boy in your bed. You wanted to find the others. When you entered the living room, you found John on the couch with a bowl of Lucky Charms, watching a nature documentary. He had Alex’s head in his lap as his boyfriend continued to sleep. Lafayette was in the kitchen, humming to himself as he scrambled some eggs. This French boy and his eggs. “Mornin’, Y/N,” John greeted you quietly, and you waved back in response. Even though you had spoken to Herc already, you weren’t much of a chatterbox in the morning. It took a full thirty minutes for your mouth to power up; coffee usually helped. “Y/N!” Laf called happily from the kitchen. He waved to you with the spatula before going back to his scrambling. “‘Ow are you feeling? Any ‘angover?” You shook your head with a smile, “Just a small headache. You kept my hydrated, don’t worry.” You forced yourself to be social. They had stayed the night, after all, and Laf had kept you hydrated last night. “Alex and I made bets as to whether you’d wet the bed with the amount of water he made you drink before you went to sleep,” John called from the living room, and you giggled while Laf rolled his eyes. “Well, it worked, didn’t it?” He mumbled as he scooped some eggs onto a plate that already had a pile of cut up strawberries on it. “You take care of me too much, Laf,” You told him with a smile as he handed you the plate. He gave you a kiss on the forehead, and you blushed. Why were they all so affectionate? Especially so early in the morning??? “Well, someone 'as to, mon ange,” he purred as he followed you to your small dining table and placed a glass of water and a cup of coffee in front of you. You didn’t say anything back to him. He had implied that you didn’t take enough care of yourself, but considering he ended up feeding you cheese last night, you didn’t really have a solid argument. “Aren’t you going to eat?” You asked suddenly, and he shrugged. He was just watching you eat; it was awkward. “Maybe once the others 'ave. If I don’t make Alex eat in the morning, then 'e skips breakfast,” he sighed and leaned back, relaxing into the chair. “Mon ange, I don’t mean to pressure you, but when do you 'ave work? I don’t want you to be late,” he was dadding you again, but it made you smile. He did have a point though. You quickly finished and hurried to get dressed, probably looking like a caveman as you shoveled food into your mouth, but Laf didn’t say anything. Herc was fast asleep in your bed again, a light snore coming from him as you threw things around in your closet, getting dressed as quickly as you could. You stumbled from your room, tugging a shoe on as you went and swearing casually as you bumped into the wall. You quickly stopped by the bathroom to put on some light makeup and pull your hair back into a messy bun. You’d fix that once you’d left. As soon as you felt decent, you made your way for the door. Lafayette handed you a paper sack, to your bewilderment, before he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiled at you before he reached up and brushed the corner of your lips with his thumb. You stared at him, your heart thrumming in your chest. “Your lipstick was smudged,” he explained as you stared at him incredulously. You nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, before you turned. You went over to the couch where John was, and you gave him a peck on the cheek. He was quick to blush, and you grinned at him. You leaned down to peck Alex on the forehead, and you cupped his cheek with your hand. As soon as your lips pressed to his forehead, his eyes shot open, and you almost pissed yourself. You weren’t expecting a jump scare so early. He didn’t say anything, he just gave you a soft, sleepy smile before he closed his eyes again. You waved to the boys, blowing a kiss towards Hercules in your bedroom, before you turned to leave. Laf called for you to be safe, and you smiled at him, promising that you were always safe. If you weren’t already out the door, he would’ve argued with you about that, given your recent track record, but you had places to be, so he didn’t retaliate. You bustled out the door, him telling you to text when you’d made it to work safely, before you got into the elevator with a stupid smile on your face. Work was better that day, and not only because a rude customer didn’t scream at you this time, but also because the boys had sent you cute texts all day. Your inner school girl was giggling and twisting her pigtails all day. Alex’s were short and sweet, but you figured it was because he didn’t want to get carried away with paragraphs and overwhelm you. John’s were adorably affectionate, calling you endearments such as “sugar”, “spice”, and everything nice. Herc’s were flirty, as always. Laf’s were peppered with French and gentle reminders to eat and stay hydrated. While Herc was The Dad friend that kept the peace of the group and made sure everyone was safe, Laf was the dad friend that made sure everyone had what they needed. Maybe you’d get him a fanny pack next time you were at Walmart. You couldn’t help but imagine him with his stroller and his walking club, all power walking and gossiping across the block. His hair would be up in a messy ponytail, he’d have his Old Navy Yoga Pants on and his T-shirt that said something like “Eiffel in love with Paris” or something dumb like that, and his bright purple Fanny pack secured on his hip. This image in your head made you giggle, but then you started to think about him in yoga pants, and your productivity definitely decreased. Ugh, they were all so hot and lovely and kind and everything you wanted. It hurt so bad that they were all taken. You wanted what they had so bad. Your phone buzzed again, and you saw that it was John. “Omg, Y/N,” you noticed that John always started his messages like that, “Herc loves the fair, so we were planning a trip to the state fair soon! Actually, this Friday! You should come! It would be everything!” You giggled again, something that had become quite common lately. “Are you sure you want me to come? I don’t wanna impose…” you were worried you’d throw their plans off. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’d be so much fun! Please please P L E A S E!!!” You loved the way John typed; it was just so him. “I’ll think about it,” was all you replied with before you put your phone away and went back to work. However, as you did your job, you realized you already had decided to go to the fair with them, one part for the boys, ninety nine part because you were a slut for fairs.

[colorfultrichild-blog]

Ironman 70.3 Chattanooga Race Report May 21, 2017 Swim(1.2 miles shortened to .8 miles)- 17:14   Bike(56 miles)- 2:37:57   Run(13.1 miles)- 1:46:15 Total- 4:47:26     10th 25-29 Female

Chatty 70.3! My favorite Half Ironman! I love this course, I love this town, I love how close it is to Atlanta, and I especially love how so many Atlanta Tri Club peeps are there to race and cheer! Running through a tunnel of people wearing luau attire while cheering you on through the hardest part of the day is so rad! All the high fives and smiles for meeee! Alright, so let's get down to it:

Jason and I left for Chattanooga nice and early the morning before the race so we could meet up with my coach, Carrie, for the usual check in and pre race spin/run. So you guys may remember from my previous race reports that I've had some issues with my bike fit/ lower back problems. Well let me start by saying I'M A BIG DUMB DUMBASS…because I decided to try and wiggle my saddle down just a smidge, about a week before the race, in an attempt to ease some discomfort downstairs. Just a tiny bit! That's all! Well, naturally I ended up moving it way more than I intended. Then I couldn't tell if it was anywhere near where it had been before. Whoops! On our pre race spin I could tell things definitely weren't right, but at that point- the day before the race- I thought, f*ck it! Time to smile through it and just hope things don't fall apart!

That night we attended the annual ATC pre race dinner and had some pasta, laughs, and a beer just to calm the nerves. We headed back to the hotel (luckily coach hadn't cancelled her reservation when we offered for her to stay with us at our Air Bnb that ended up being a super weird situation that none of us wanted to stay in…) got all our things together and hit the hay just in time for the GNARLIEST storm to hit. I mean it was bananas out there. Raining like crazy, lightning, you name it. I suck at trying to sleep any earlier than midnight and I also hate storms sooooo let's just say I didn't get as much sleep as I had hoped. SMILE THROUGH IT! WOO!

One major difference between this race and Florida 70.3, which I blew up during in April, was that I was planning on giving it my all while smiling and having as much fun as I could. No pressure. No goals. Just fun. After weeks of post Florida bummed outness, I had a little "come to Jesus" with myself. I absolutely love triathlon. It's my happy place and I had totally lost sight of that. The pressure I put on myself had absolutely made me fall apart during Florida 70.3. Chattanooga was going to be my redemption. My return to racing for the love of it. Ok I had 1 goal: HAVE SOME DAMN FUN.

Shortly after Fla I decided to stop training with numbers and focus on feel. I still wore my Garmin and uploaded all the info for coach, but I didn't look at it while training. I would focus on how I felt and how happy I was while training…and my numbers IMPROVED. Since I had been training by feel, I was planning on racing by feel, but with little number checks here and there to make sure I wasn't over doing it. I was ready to race!

RACE DAY: Woke up earlier than any human should and choked down my peanut butter toast and crappy hotel coffee. Eating before race has gotten way easier for me. I used to only manage 1 or 2 bites, but now I can knock out 1 or 2 whole slices of pb toast with some Gatorade. Score! Finished breakfast, obsessively checked my gear about 600 times, paid the potty a visit (don't even play like pooping before a race isn't crucial..we're all humans here) and headed out!

Got to transition nice and early, set up our spots, and somehow managed to get our little crew together before hopping on the bus to the swim start. A few days before- myself, Coach, and a number of other wonderful gals all aiming for around 5 hours decided we would start together in the hopes we'd be able to cheer each other on out on the course. I LOVED THAT IDEA, of course. Racing with friends makes everything better! This was possible because Chatt 70.3 is a self seeded race with a point to point swim. This year they tried to divide the line into certain time estimates. We almost ended up in the 50 minute section before realizing we were waaaaaay further back than we wanted to be.We seeded ourselves kind of near the back of the "faster" section and got our wetsuits on.

Swim: The cannon went off as the male pro's started their day. We watched as they seemed to be taking their time getting to that first buoy upstream….uh oh…the storm the night before had made the current craaaazy strong. The lady pro's started next and it was the same situation where it seemed like it sure was taking them a long time to get to that first buoy…. The first age groupers are supposed to go in about 15 minutes after the male pro wave, but they hadn't started filing in. We were all anxiously waiting to see what the hold up was. After a bit more waiting, we heard the announcement that the upstream part of the swim had been cut. Instead of going up stream to turn right, go across stream for a bit, then make the right turn down stream- we would now hop in and make a diagonal dash across stream to the next closest buoy. We were told it was about .4 miles shorter than usual. I honestly wasn't even bummed. Even though the swim is my "strength", a shorter swim down a fast current sounded super fun! More energy for later!

I was walking down the dock with some of my best friends and favorite ladies around me, ecstatic to start my number 1 race. I turned and yelled "Love y'all! See ya at the end!" and hopped in the water! No time to mess around- shorter swim means harder pace so I got down to it. I love this swim because there are no waves and its cool swimming under the big bridges down stream. Nothing stands out about the swim this time. It wasn't crowded so I pretty much had open water the majority of the time and made my way down stream as fast as I could. I made it out of the water in 17:14 and sprinted towards the closest wetsuit stripper I could find. She yanked that bad boy right off. I ran up the ramp to see Jason cheering and taking photos and made my way past as many folks as I could while sprinting to my sweet lil Orbea- which thanks to the AWA section was in a way more convenient spot than last year!

Bike: So like I said…I'M A BIG DUMB DUMBASS…and hopping on the bike I could tell things weren't perfect, but I honestly didn't care! I was so happy to be at this race and to be racing with my heart.

Things were going as usual as I was taking in nutrition and hydrating on schedule for the first 25 miles or so. I was feeling pretty solid.  Then, like always…I started feeling my lower back getting angry. I was staying positive, though. I still felt good. Plus, it was overcast and not very hot! My back started getting angrier. STUPID BACK! I hit mile 30 and could tell I was losing power and had developed a pain shooting down my inner thigh into my knee. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been in the past, but I was also constantly having to shift my butt back on the saddle because of my genius adjustments. Things were uncomfortable, but I was still smiling. I was trucking along when some of my gals started speeding past! I don't mind if my friends pass me going at what seemed like the speed of light! Any and all smiles and cheers of encouragement help when the race pain starts setting in.

I settled in, put my head down, and just kept on going.  Despite my back pain, it was a crazy fast kind of day. I looked at my power average after the race and it was quite a bit lower than it should have been, but I ended up with an 8 minute PR! I mean I felt like I was trucking along like usual, but apparently I was zoomin' and so was everyone else! I'd heard the 2015 bike splits were way faster than 2016 for some reason. Well, apparently the stars had aligned, like in 2015, and it was a speedy day for all.

My run had improved a lot this season so I was looking forward to getting off that damn slip'n'slide of a saddle. I was ecstatic when I rolled into transition in the 2:30's! I had never even broken 2:45! I was chanting, "I'm getting off my bike! Yay! I'm getting of my bike! Yay!" in my head when I hopped off and sped through transition to snag my saucony's!!

Run: Yaaaay! Run time! I came off my bike ready to get my leggies movin'. Knocked out a speedy transition and was off! I've simplified my transition strategy this year so I was in and out. A number of ATC peeps were there to cheer us through transition and I just could not stop smiling. I made a point to try and actually smile as much as possible during the run. I had a guy come up to me after I finished and say, "did you know you smile while you run?" And I said, "I sure do! Gotta get through it somehow!"

I did a quick pace check within the first mile to make sure I wasn't hitting it too hard from the beginning and I was running a little hot. I decided to reel it in a bit, hoping I could hold a stronger steadier pace throughout instead of slowing down as the mileage increased. I got my tail up that big ass hill at about .8 miles and was welcomed by the ATC cheering crew and my amazing boyfriend. I LOVE THIS GROUP. I smiled even bigger and tried to high five as many people as I could without losing time. Things were good in my world and I was actually running some folks down. This is new to me, because my run had really kind of plateaued last season. So I was getting all kinds of pumped. I caught up to my lovely friend Deirdre and gave her a much expected smack on the tush before continuing on.

I came through the first aid station and got my usual swig of water, swig of gatorade, and some water over my head. It was still over cast-ish, but things were definitely heating up. Even though I wasn't feeling super hot, I wanted to avoid even coming close to overheating. I hit the next porta potty for my usual pee break and fell right back into stride. I mean, even though my back was a turd on the bike, this was pretty much my dream run. Oh, and I didn't forget my Base Salt in transition like I did last year…so that was a plus! No cramping for me!

So Chatt is a 2 loop course with a variety of surfaces and hill intensities. Mostly little rollers, but a couple of nasty climbs too. It's just challenging enough, I'm my opinion. I love the riverside wooden walkway. It's a nice change from pavement and it's just cool running by the river while totally shaded by big trees.

I was smiling, taking in nutrition and fluids right on schedule, so things were great! I caught my amazing friend, Meg, who literally destroys souls on the bike and she was looking strong as hell. We shared a quick little chit chat with lots of love. I love racing with my friends…have I said that enough times yet? Because it's dope.

I held my pace right around 8 minutes for both laps and came flying down that final hill to the finish with a BIG BIG grin. Crossing the finish like of a 70.3 feeling like I had conquered the world was such an awesome change from my last half. I was back. Honestly, I'm glad I raced Florida and had such a shitty day, because it was the wake up call I needed. I have raced so much harder and happier since then. When you have a crappy race-learn from it. Don't dwell on it and give up. Let it teach you something. It taught me that racing with your heart is so much more powerful than anything else in triathlon. Chattanooga 70.3 was my dream race and I have 0 complaints. I am beyond ecstatic with my time, my place in my age group, and my overall positive mentality throughout the race. SMILE Y'ALL! GET THROUGH THAT RACE BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT!

Cheers, friends! CJ

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

We have an emergency sickness...

This will cause COVID to eradicate quicker despite hospital interventions.

This will cause vomiting of good people Only -- enough of one good meal then possible other random symptoms such as sweating and/or pain and nausea. And diarrhea and coughing. And sleepiness. It is very limited to one evening/part of day.

It will cause eradication of unheavenly and extreme evil.

This is due to Bobbys death yesterday. One hero down y'all. So we all gotta be heroes. The babies will be born in 80 days. And COVID simply doesn't have enough time.

It won't cause many long term symptoms except coughing or sneezing.

It will cause the "zombie outbreak" of people that have COVID which is a sleepy brainless feeling that we will also experience.

I felt the zombie first when I woke. Then Vomited (threw up). Steven vomited then felt the zombie effect. Just sleeping is fine.

This is how I explained the Corona from the beginning. So testing will show a false positive if it isn't an antibody and illness test like those in London England, Ireland, and other upper European countries.

So if you need/want off work then don't get the antibody test. If you have to get back to work, get the antibody test.

We will not obtain the tests that are done in Europe. Because this is the United States and the government will supply cash funds due to those being ill and needing to take off work. If they do not Then they will not obtain the tests in Europe without an extreme war taking place. Russia will stand in the way of the United States to protect that side of the world.

To mimic the way the blood steam does begin to dry out the intestines will empty for those of the good. It is a virus and as soon as they're empty both ways then you're fine and shouldn't test positive after two to four days.

Because it isn't speeding up the Mummyfication process, quarantine is still important world wide.

Because hospitals will begin to be overwhelmed.

When i have a sunburn over a tan then that will cause the Mummyfication process to be speeded up to where they will die within one to three days of contact.

Tree says 35 days that will begin to be noticed by health practitioners.

Good people will see they have a shade of a tan by one level. Some may not notice at all. But some may. Health benefits that would occur from a seasonal tan of a healthy style will be in the body naturally. And will continue to feed the body. For us that is when we know that quarantine should be over.

So look to girls whom wear make up. Beauty influencers that always have the perfect shade match and see the difference in that one level. So y'all guys and gals that wear a colored skin protecting layer over their faces for whatever personal reason and are like insta famous -- please do complain.

At this point its safe to go out and spread the disease and not over whelm hospitals.

They will have had the zombie effect or a shade of, people whom need to naturally die because they do not belong to the Earth and so they will not feel the need to go to the hospital and will actually feel absolutely fine but a bit sluggish in their minds or so on and will think sleep will help like it did for the Zombie effect.

And then they will die in their sleep them spontaneously combust into a gold glitter.

No hospitals should take them as the hospitals will see the combustions themselves and will realize that there's no cure nor any reason to treat.

But for now Quarantine 2020 is still mandatory for bodies as the hospitals will become overloaded.

Again this is a simple "gripe water" or Gatorade treatment.

Children will get this disease and they will vomit. In school. Not at home. Only in public school. And in private school. Home school children will not be effected except they will be sleepy more often. They should be allowed to sleep.

Schools doing online schooling with say zoom. Should have meetings no earlier than noon and no later than 10 pm. They should only expect 3 hours of schooling to be done per day. And they may find that is excessive for some k - 12.

Some may only be able to focus for 45 minutes of schooling per day especially of new material.

This is where you'll want to do "block" scheduling like Penn and Foster where they are only doing one class at a time. So you'll want to do only one class or subject per day. In some occasions 2.

So for reading and writing you'll want to combine it with Science, especially. From there you'll do grammer and comprehensive skills. As well as spelling and writing such as one or two sentences for questions.

It will be school time when people begin to spontaneously combust and the children that are of a double gene that is unearthly will begin to die first. This is so they are not left without parents.

182,061 in/from Valencia County total will spontaneously combust. Or die from regular COVID.

Ghosts are also spending 20 minutes with extreme neasua they will provide the Mummyfication aspect of the disease and they will begin to spread it as of now as soon as they get ill.

I am the Queen of the Planet and I have already contracted and spread the disease and King Byron has began to spread it in the ghost world.

So Zulululu. You're fucking welcome. You shouldn't had killed him. This is how and why we made this disease as it is.

There is no stopping it and if i am killed all occupants of the Earth that do not deserve to live on the planet will immediately die.

Bees sting once and die.

I do mass extinctions like I learned from you Zulululu from killing our dinosaurs, minute men and Great Trees.

So fuck off about that. You don't want to mess with me. Accept it and stay in your fucking houses. Hospitals will kill you with some extreme and obscene ways. Although they're not supposed to. But they have been because you've been working in them. And we've caught you hundreds of times and I know its been done millions.

And so patients should not be admitted but sent home to hydrate and take Advil and gas x. As well as heartburn medication. Some may take propranalol or other blood pressure medication for their comfort. 89% should be prescribed heart blood pressure medication despite any symptoms they show.

Any blood pressure medication is fine but propranalol and others tree will update with cause a calming mental effect and increases emotional stabilization.

Sinus pressure medication for some as they will feel like they are continuously being punched in the face. At up to 12 pills per day. One every hour they're awake. Some every two hours. It will only work up to 9 days so no point to prescribe past that amount. Some it will only work for 4. This can also be bought over the counter.

Again the shelves will be depleted of supplies at major retailers through September 2020 and only medication made in Ecuador saved slave ships will be available. The slaves human trafficked where stolen from Africa and Ecuador had saved them and returned them home.

So you white supremacy, those pills were all touched and breathed on by black people. And you should know.

So this disease is now spread by ghosts and good people will test positive in some locations as,they are carriers

We will all obtain a stomach/gastrointestinal virus that we must eliminate from our bodies immediately.

To remind you to keep evil people at bay and away from you and to remember they will be eliminated soon.

We have had to speed up the process. So the twins can be born.

I've chosen Sukkot Eve as their birthdate. I pronounce it Suck it. Although that isn't as it was originally pronounced which is Sock It. Now is sock-ought.

We are gonna sock these fuckers in the face and eliminate them.

Stay out of the hospitals if you're a good person they're too dangerous and you'll have to wait until Christmas to return to life.

Royals will return on the last day of Sukkot.

Google will tell you a good truth .... The end of the story was we kept all the BAD people in these structures then lit them on fire as they slept. And they died.

Which is why I chose this Jewish Holiday. For my children I've been pregnant with for 18 years to be born on.

By birthday does fall during the week of the Sukkot celebrations.

We did celebrate and drink and eat and party with them to say good bye. As they were all two faced and both of evil and good.

True earthlings are only capable of good and do not have the ability to be two faced.

Most of us have learned how to be in order to survive.

Most especially the Royals. And even Tree.

And it isn't right. And so we will take over the Earth and the governments and fix it. Includinf Crystal Lakes and rivers and oceans. Perfect hazy skies to block the UV of the sun (like Jupiter or Saturn) and clouds. And the world will again be paved with gold and we will have gardens of Eden all across the globe. No more deserts and no more suffering.

In order to do so we must remove those that destroyed it in the first place as well as their families and friends.

Many Earthlings are genetically half human and half alien. The human half does take presidency if in fact the SOUL inhabitant is of Original Earthling status.

Such as my children that chose to be born in order to help the world fight to survive and were created in a lab that is of half alien and half human. Human is the main component.

Now the last day of Sukkot the DNA will change of those that are half human and half alien and The alien partition will remove and they will become full human. Then their bodies will revive as they should look. And so basically the body removes an exoskeleton of hell.

This is caused for the human ghosts to now be allowed to spread the disease. So that the schedule can remain steady.

99% of alien inhabitants will be dead by Sukkot Eve 2020.

The rest will fall away on the last day of Sukkot. As the 1% are Just half alien genetic codes.

So hospitals you must prepare to write prescriptions and send people home or you will be overwhelmed.

Im not gonna sit here and warn and discuss it.

Its a fact. These fuckers are gonna die and they need to die at home.

There's nothing anyone can do. Bodies will not traditionally bloat and stink. They will begin to mummify themselves regardless if they're alive or not until they are able to spontaneously combust on their own.

This is because 36 ghosts came back to life only to be cremated and assist in a suicide of one of the worlds greatest military combat veterans.

Semper Fi

Hoorah. And hip hop hooray!

Morgues I wouldn't even bother. Just load them up in trucks and let them sit.

[antiagingsol-blog]

Anti Aging Skin Treatment - 7 Tips On Looking Younger

Do you desire to look more youthful? Allow's encounter it, nowadays, who doesn ' t? Once it was simply celebs and also those in the public eye who worried concerning looking older everyone else expanded old beautifully! Currently 40 is the new 30 as well as men along with females respect their appearance, there is also a fad in society to victimize the older generation. What can you do to stay looking more youthful? There is no Anti Aging Magic Potion that will certainly clear your creases overnight, yet with self-control as well as a good Anti Aging Skin Care regimen in position you will get on your method to looking younger for longer. There are numerous drastic solutions readily available for anti aging skin treatment to assist you look more youthful, from the traditional aesthetic facelift to infusing chemicals like Botox into the skin to give a short-term wrinkle smoothing effect. Not everybody agrees, or financially able to head to these extremes. So exactly what can you do on a day to day basis that will help you really feel as well as look more youthful? By following the 7 actions below, you will certainly be on your way to a more vibrant appearance for longer. And also remember it is never ever too late (or too very early!) to begin a good anti aging routine. 7 tips on taking care of your body as well as mind: 1. Consume a lot of water every day - most physicians advise 7 to 10 glasses a day. Water eliminates contaminants, maintaining your body and also skin tidy. Also your skin will look clearer and plumper if it is not dry. Certainly the initial step for "anti aging skin care " to look younger. 2. Consume a healthy well balanced diet regimen, include something from all the major food teams every day in your diet. Eat a lot of fiber and fresh vegetables and fruit. The UK government recommends 5 portions of fruit and also vegetables are consumed daily, however this must be the minimum amount you eat. Vegetables and fruit consist of lots of important nutrients that aid preserve as well as repair the skin and also cells. Not just will your skin appearance younger however your body will certainly age much better and you will certainly be much less susceptible to many common diseases of old age. The prefect "anti aging skin care solution " Additionally prevent eating fatty and oily foods which enhance your weight yet do not offer you anything nutritionally. Obese individuals usually look and also feel much older compared to they are. 3. Aim to lead a stress totally free, tranquil presence. If you are worried the body launches chemicals which years ago would have assisted you to deal with the trouble with "battle " or "trip ". Since these are not a remedy to the majority of life today's problems, the chemicals will remain in your body and also cause you to come to be psychologically or physically ill. Make sure that you sleep well and exercise routinely. Use whichever techniques assist you to loosen up - taking a lengthy cozy bath, massage or scent therapy are just a few to try. Bear in mind, severe anxiety will certainly simply trigger your hair to go white as well as your face to look worn out and also lined. Take pleasure in life! 4. Normal workout, taken a minimum of 3 times a week as well as everyday preferably, will function wonders in assisting you feel and look younger. Make sure the exercise is vigorous enough to make you fear and your skin will certainly look more youthful as toxins are flushed out. Bear in mind to contact your physician before considerably changing your workout regime. 5. Prevent UV radiation as it is the major source of premature skin aging as well as creases. Ensure you always have appropriate sun security for the climate as well as your skin type. Buy facial moisturisers which contain UV security for daily use. Usage of a top quality high aspect sun lotion must be component of your daily routine. A tan could look good for a while yet you will certainly age and also wrinkle quickly and also be extra vulnerable to skin illness such as cancers. 6. Attempt to cut out nicotine and alcohol intake. Smoking cigarettes will certainly age you as chemicals in the smoke are aging to the skin as well as will reverse your anti aging skin treatment process. Additionally, if you are forever squinting via smoke, crow's lines around the eyes will show up all too promptly. Alcohols consist of many contaminants which are unsafe to your wellness. Too much alcohol consumption will certainly suggest your liver no more handles clearing your body of these toxic substances. 7. Look for skin treatment products which are anti aging (those containing the ingredients Vitamin C, retinol and also ceramides are really great). Try various anti aging skin treatment items to see which functions ideal for you as well as moisturise daily. Bear in mind, if you feel great concerning yourself, you will certainly look good.

Read more informations click here best anti aging serum

[Music] you ever wish you could find out her secret or today i found women who literally look half their age we put their pictures up online for America to see and we also asked their studio audience to guess their age that everybody guess they were decades younger their woman just like you and they're ready to spill their secrets they can do it so can you you can defy your age y'all curious about this I first hiragana an unlock is typically Raticate wrinkles stop America thought Donna was 34 years old but Donna's chronological age is 52 come on out Donna [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I gotta look you're hired I cannot believe you are 52 I am so what are you saying what are they signal beeping you people normally think I'm a lot younger especially men who try to hit on me for a little young much feeling which is which is quite nice which is very nice so there is shocked and amazing tell me rage yeah people for the most part think I'm usual in my mid to late 30s for tip which is which is quite flattering i must say well you should be excited you are a beautiful woman are you willing to reveal your secrets yes i am dr. Wilbur Abbott there's a little toolbox here Georgia age-defying tricks it is it is white vinegar vinegar cinnamon and honey so I have this concoction that I make where I combine meet my own exfoliating face mask with honey and cinnamon and I find that it takes off a lot of the dead skin cells and it makes my face more moisturize and it also makes it you know quite subtle probably how you're doing it seems so simple yeah so actually what i do is i combine the cinnamon with honey and mix it up and actually use this every night i leave it on for about 30 minutes and then i use white vinegar as an astringent which it's delicious as well you can also eat it absolutely i would eat the leftovers and then you could use the astringent which kind of tightens your skin and prevents it from sagging how long you been using this for I haven't actually been using this for a few years but as I get older I use it more frequently I gotta say I'm amazing something so simple to make such a huge difference in your life do you want to try it yeah please ok I'll be I'll go first ok look like you all definitely do it don't you feel it working a little bit well I'd like to lick it off I could it feels it feels cooling next yeah but you know I actually looked into these tips in fact I did for all their guests unto showed me the vinegar I love because it keeps yourselves hydrated which is always a valuable thing to prevent wrinkling but I especially love the cinnamon and honey yeah anise cinnamon in particular is the fantastic exfoliant which is probably the best way out there to fight off wrinkles oh it's great so I made you a little you look wonderful yeah thanks I guess hm alright so i'm going to show you why i think is it so cool so i go to the replica of your skin okay it's so maybe the big replica of your skin just insert it looks like this this big parachute reflects what's going on in our bodies now you'll notice we have some audience members here at all women oh maybe a little bit we please pretend your weekly I know you really not all right and glasses the collagen in our body starts to get weak and especially as we get older the hormones aren't quite perfect we don't have enough collagen to lift up this parachute now look at this front area over here and it's completely worn through right there's not a no collagen a that's a that's a big wrinkle right there but then will exfoliate with cinnamon taste it changes everything cuz that's like bringing these big burly men girly men come on in burly men six house because everyone pulled back hard as you can it reinforces your skin it gives you less wrinkles I'm not that it's pretty spectacular you don't think that's out of the world with it that's why you don't have a chance I think thank you guys thanks burly men I thought my audience members I appreciate it a secret government agent discoloration on your chest neck and hands now America thought Dan was 45 years old we checked their drivers license which says that she is hard 65 well I'm the only girl so in the boys don't count so my mother lived to be 94 and i will say that when she died she didn't look a day over 80 that's pretty good I got that yeah so you say 15 years they elaborate because you don't have any discolorations at all i'm looking at all of your skin so what's your secret let's show it to us sure okay first of all in the morning when i am making my coffee I take some lemon and I squeeze it over the back of my hand and the décolletage breakfast harshal course yes what rataj you know what that is yes and the acid and in the lemon helps to bleach out any you know when we were kids we used to put it in our hair and gladness done those yes so it bleaches out any kind of discoloration you may have of course I don't have it you don't have any cousin you know actually blocks melanin production [Music]