#any verse just them just angst<3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tojisun · 13 days ago

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the hand that feeds you

— “i take care of her, s’all.”

johnny mactavish x f!reader

cw: 18+ work - minors dni; age difference; daddy issues (kinda the central plot); cooking as a love language; slow burn but in high speed; a breath of angst; power imbalance; canon divergence - regular/non-military life au // amazing divider by @gildui! // 6.5k words

extra notes: this is a very self-indulgent work. there are holes in the plot, 100%, so ignore those holes pretty pls </3 also ik this is more of a captain johnny-verse but midway through, i started projecting so i might’ve written him incorrectly and im really sorry for that!!

being roommates with johnny is not as weird as it is; he’s amicable, at first, then full blown nice when days passed. he’s not loud, per se, but there’s always a constant chatter streaming from his space, like he physically can’t sit still through the silence which is great because you don’t fare any better with the stillness too, so reminiscent of how it was in the suburbs.

you moved to a neighbourhood just skirting past the inner city just because it’s a lot cheaper. but even then, rent was always high and your little box in a rundown complex wasn’t going to sustain you forever even if you wished it would. then, an opening in johnny’s townhouse was posted, almost half-price than whatever is up in the market, and it’s great despite your skepticism. hell, it’s more than great — it’s lifesaving.

your shitty job at the bookstore really can’t cover much of your expenses anymore, and sure student loans and the grant is great, but the growing debt makes you wince so it’s whatever at this point. you’re about to graduate soon anyway, pooling work experience from volunteering and club organizations, and it’s not like you can even go back to how it was.

(underway to law school, primed up before your father’s scrutiny but the burnout got to you before you could even write the LNAT. you realized that being a barrister wasn’t really what you wanted so you changed programs, midway, and switched to children’s education.

god, the disappointment in your pa’s eyes was so big, you knew to pack your shit before he could even kick you out.)

it’s… tough.

god, is it tough. none of your old friends and colleagues could stay in contact, which you don’t hold against them because most of them, by now, have graduated and entered law school. you’re straggling about two years back because of the switch in programs, and everything’s gone too tight. your budget. your social life.

your dating life.

johnny often distracts you from it all — he works in downtown, in one of those high-rise buildings often reserved for limiteds or holding companies, and has to travel off the city every three months. he makes good money, he said jovially, and you know it’s a nudge as to why your portion of the rent is cheap in the first place.

when you finally bit the bullet and asked why he put up one of the rooms in the market, johnny just shrugged and said he needed someone to house sit but sort off permanently. said something like last time he left, the pipes bursted and he couldn’t really fly back to help with the repairs.

it’s great being with him. he’s bright and bubbly, but also dependable in ways you never really thought about. like—

well, it’s all mundane things so listing them feels embarrassing, and it makes you feel as though you’re a touch-starved damsel and johnny just so happened to be the next older man to give you any attention and his time. but you can’t help it. god, you can’t help preen at the way he exists beside you.

he’s just so… beautiful, is what it is.

rugged and charming and loud and filling. the townhouse is too big for the two of you, but johnny makes it work. makes it feel like the two of you just fit into each other’s spaces.

early mornings are spent with him lilting between english and scottish, his exhaustion plastered onto him even after he’s downed two cups of coffee. he bumps his hip onto yours when he ambles out to prepare for his work, grumbling something like good morning and how’re you. afternoons are more lively and productive; it’s of you coming back from campus at six in the evening only to find him in the kitchen, fixing up dinner. it’s always something fancy and rich in flavour; something he always eats with wine on the side.

you, uh, you never thought he could actually cook, let alone feed himself well, but there he was, always a plate ready for you too like it’s expected that you’ll eat dinner with him. like spending time with him was just natural — the sky is blue, the ocean’s deep, and you and johnny fall into each other like there is an invisible string pulling you close to him.

it’s a beautiful change of pace, and there are more days now when you can breathe in a little easier, and you know it’s all because of johnny. it’s all him who pulled you out of your slump and out of that darkness and gave you the room, literally, to grow.

he’s beautiful, but you’ve said that already, haven’t you? he’s just… so good to be with.

then, johnny began picking up and bringing some home.

the first time it happened was shocking, really.

you had an early morning, something that’s so murky now in your memories so you’re unsure if it was anything uni related or work related, just that it was five in the morning and you were clambering downstairs as quietly as you could. you rounded the length of the hallway from the platform to the kitchen when you ran into someone.

“steady,” she’d said, voice hoarse and loud in her shock too.

you yelled, jumping, arms swinging because was there an intruder, and it took johnny physically subduing you for you to calm down. looking back now, you burn in embarrassment, but then you had been so worried, your body wound up so tightly in your fear.

“shh,” johnny had murmured with that wry grin. “s’just me, lass.”

your eyes danced between him and the brunette — pretty even in her rumpled shirt, with long legs and a small waist — trying to understand what was going on. you are sure johnny had told you before that he wasn’t seeing anyone so who—

“your girlfriend?” she asked johnny, turning to him with her lips pursed and her brow cocked up.

the question settled in your stomach, doing wonders to your already-fragile psyche. you’d just spent hours thinking about johnny and what he meant to you; what living with him meant. how it eased up something carved within the trenches of your being, like you’d always been waiting for someone like him.

the question was a reminder, like prickling you with icicles, leaving you to navigate the swoop. but johnny had laughed, nothing mean but so dismissive that you felt the curl of shame brandishing from the base of your spine like johnny was laughing at you.

“oh, nah,” he replied, arm still slung over your shoulders. “she’s sorta my ward, yes? i take care of her, s’all.”

that’s all. you’re nothing more to him but a ward. a tenant. not even a friend—

she hummed, then leaned over to kiss johnny, her eyes still drawn to you like she’s watching, waiting for a reaction, and when she got none, she trudged to the door. you and johnny watched as she bent down to slip in her shoes, some stilettos with red bottoms, before wordlessly disappearing into the darkened morning.

“pretty,” you chirped, trying to break the tension of whatever that was.

johnny laughed in that way that surely crinkled his eyes, only to steer the conversation away by asking why you were up early. you remembered what you had to do and you dived to the kitchen in a flurry, chatting about the deadlines and due dates — so it was a school thing — and johnny just watched, silent, humming, eyes still curved in his glee.

you left no sooner than his… paramour did and, for a while, that was that.

but your semester is coming to a close and your schedule is changing, but so is johnny’s. he’s coming home later and later, but always seemed to offer apologies in the form of easy-to-microwave meals for your dinner. they’re still homemade, probably cooked up in the morning before he left for work, and you’d messaged him to say that he didn’t need to worry about you. that, sure, you came to him amidst financial struggle, juggling work and school, and trying to decide if you would have to starve this month because of rent, but you can cook. for yourself and for him too.

johnny’s face did a terrible thing when you mentioned that in person, the first in a while after things got hectic.

“what,” you bit out, embarrassed.

“nothing,” he said, blinking like he was realizing things he shouldn’t. “s’fun doing things f’r you.”

then he clamped up, spooning soup into his mouth, some of it messily dribbling into his chin. it’s not like you were doing any better, with how your throat closed up at his words, eyes going wide.

it’s been a thing, is what it is, but neither of you two have ever acknowledged that it’s a thing. it’s been a wordless experience — of johnny taking over things when it comes to the house because of course he will, it’s his home, but he always covers things for you too. things you’re sure normal landlords don’t really worry about, but not johnny.

there’s always extra food in the kitchen, extra blankets when the weather dips. there’s even a new cooling machine for the summer even though you know johnny’s room already has an installed air conditioning. he’s even changed the seats in the dining room because he caught you once hitting your hip after an all-nighter on a project.

then, he refurbished the den to make it your office.

“you didn’t have to,” you told him, mind racing at your savings, wondering if he was going to increase your rent.

johnny just shook his head with an almost fond roll of his eyes and clapped your back, arm hovering there. “s’all yers, hen.”

everything he did always accounted for you. so why the women?

they’re all long limbed and trimmed waist, with eyes that sparkled even when all you’ve seen of them is always within the poorly-lit hallway. they have voices that curl teasingly, breathy like they’re enticing johnny for one more night. and they’ve always, always, treated you like a—

like a kid.

a burden, almost, of johnny’s.

and, hell, maybe you are. johnny’s almost twice your age; he’s also already well-established in his career, some senior position that you can’t really follow but one he talks about with fondness. he’s got land rover-money, the car in his garage big and black and almost military grade, and it looks so expensive especially beside the crappy civic you were able to snag for a cheap price because it’s got about three-hundred-thousand mileage already.

you’ve got nothing to give him, other than the lousy rent payment that he doesn’t even really need but is just asking for courtesy because it’d be so weird for him to offer a room, or two now given you have the den too, for free. you’ve got nothing on your name, and if it isn’t pity that makes johnny care for you, then you don’t know what.

maybe his string of one-night stands are right — you are just a kid.

that maybe you really are still too wet behind the ears for the real world that you go running to the next person that could protect you from it, stumbling into his life and licking up every drop of his attention, mistaking his kindness for devotion. his care for love.

you should have known, then, that the thoughts would ripple, leaving you to feel like the days are unnavigable. obsession quickly took root, growing fangs, and it ensnared you; a vice noose at what had been a pleasant coexistence.

hell, you can barely stand being with johnny because of the jealousy. it’s a shameful thing, but a part of you thinks you deserve johnny more than the others do.

you tell yourself that nobody knows about johnny’s nightmares and the horrors that spill from his lips when it’s twelve in the morning and the two of you have hit the bourbon. you tell yourself that nobody knows about johnny’s aversion to the windows in the living room; that the reason why the curtains are a deep green is not to match the new plants he’s allowed you to fill up his home but because they shroud the panels more than the cream ones had. you tell yourself that nobody knows that johnny can sing; that he can cook a mean tomahawk; that he likes reading; that his wrists were hurting so he’s currently scheduled for a surgery; that he’s soft to you.

the women don’t know this johnny, you tell yourself, nails clawing at the hems of your chest. they don’t know him the way i do.

it’s a pathetic whisper. it’s so laughable. so juvenile.

they’re right. they’re right.

(you’re just a—)

“i don’t see you anymore,” johnny murmured one morning, when things have gone quiet again, a cup of coffee sitting on the counter while he watches you throw orange peels into the garburator.

he just got back from a work trip in aberdeen, his exhaustion loud on his face. his hair is overgrown, the bottom ends of his mohawk curling along his nape. he was there for over three weeks, skirting almost close to a month — the longest he’s ever been away — and you had tried so hard not to message. not to drop casual check-ins because you’re sure no tenant ever does that to their landlord, but johnny had remained just as friendly; asking things like if you wanted another potted plant, a monstera or a dragon tree, or if you still had that swiss chocolate he brought home as a gift, or—

the list of his questions grew, but you’ve given him clipped replies, not knowing how to act right anymore since your quiet realization. even the “thing” that you thought you shared with him had fizzled at the drop of the women coming-and-leaving, and you are left to pick up the pieces.

it’s not like you’re broken or ruined or angry. god, no you aren’t.

but you feel unsteady, like now that you know that you liked him more than he liked you, you forgot how to breathe. how to live without that looming burden because your affection is nothing but a burden.

what will johnny do if he finds out? you can’t afford a new place to move into, not when you’re so close to graduating, the finish line just about to graze your very fingertips with how near it is. money is still tight, and johnny has already spoiled you rotten. has shown you how it is to live a comfortable life. and if he learns of your feelings, you would lose this. more than anything, you would lose him.

so you detached yourself from the noose, curling into yourself and using his work trip as a way to move on.

jesus — move on, huh? like there was a ‘you and johnny’ to even move on from. like there was anything there to read. like there was anything there to pull away from; twitching fingers drawing back into the spaces of your ribs, tucking yourself away from his warmth.

“i’ve been so busy, john,” you muttered, just as tired.

“yeah?” he said, still light. still jovial. “let me cook something nice for ye, huh? reward yer hard work and all.”

“i can’t.” you swallowed down the prickle lodged in your throat, eyes ducking away to avoid seeing his. “i’ve got a meeting with the club.”

(you missed the way johnny’s smile dipped.)

“oh,” he said.

you shrugged, internally wincing at your weak attempt at being normal, before gathering your thermos and your messily-wrapped sandwich. johnny was still standing by the counters when you turned around from the sink, his bulk so close to yours in ages. it had been so long since you could just reach over and feel his warmth; feel the soft pudge of what once were hardened muscles.

he’s looking at you with such sad eyes that it’s jarring to truly see because he’s looking at you like—

like he’s losing you.

“i’m gonna…” you trailed off, not really knowing how to end this truly awkward interaction.

“yeah, f’course,” he croaked out. “take care of yerself huh, lass?”

“thanks.” the smile on your face felt more like a grimace. “see you.”

he said nothing more after that, his eyes still searching; still furrowed like something’s changed and something’s happening, and it made your stomach drop because please. please don’t let him notice.

but johnny just watched as you went, his coffee all forgotten.

(something bloomed in the soft press of your heart, flickering like a young ember. you’ve never realized how longing could feel like your mouth is stuffed with cotton.)

johnny hasn't picked up since his return from aberdeen.

they’re getting a new firm so the shuffling has been brutal, leaving johnny to clamber out at five in the morning before coming back home when it’s pushing 11pm. the scruff on his face is becoming more unkempt, salt and pepper becoming more intense, but even then, he’s never looked more ruggedly beautiful as he is now.

it’s like he’s aged years and you shouldn’t be reacting so strongly to the change, but looking at johnny now makes you ache in a different way — core throbbing, throat parched and eyes stinging as you watch him. you’re so drawn to his gravitational pull, unable to detangle yourself now that it feels like he’s more back in your life than he ever was.

and you know it’ll end up hurting you. that you’ll go back to isolating yourself at the drop of a new girl in the house, the smell of her chanel or bvlgari perfume filling up the crevices that you’ve dutifully dusted every saturday morning while johnny’s out for a run. he’s made having casual lovers a cycle, one that you cannot blame him for because johnny doesn’t like you back.

but johnny’s been so attentive to you these days. he’s been a hovering presence even when he looks like he’s one blown wind away from passing out in his exhaustion, his warm hand always on the small of your back as he walks you to the door before chirping a hearty, “kick ass, bon!”

he’s back to fixing up food for you, like that blip in your schedule got him all creative because now, it’s not even just dinner. you’ve got breakfast waiting for you in the microwave, and packed lunch already in your bag, carefully tucked beside the manila folders and plastic envelopes for your capstone. it’s like he’s making up for something which is dumb and wrong because now, you’re all swooping stomach and prickling lungs.

“yummy?” johnny asked, catching you wriggling in excitement at the flavour bursting into your tongue.

your cheeks tingled, feverish, before giving him a shy nod.

he huffed, something so achingly fond, and rested his chin atop his crossed arms. you didn’t know what to focus on — the scruff on his face or the hard lines of webbing veins spilling from beneath his folded sleeves. then, he crooned, “good. that’s good.”

you ran upstairs to your room, throwing an excuse about finishing up your paper, before locking the door, and feeding your cunt two fingers to satiate the burn. the stretch was delicious, raw and sweet, and you humped your wrist, trying to douse the flames burning you up.

you thought of johnny, of the way he looked and how much nicer he’s been; of johnny and the way he was so kind to you, so caring like you’re up in his priority list again, overtaking his busy schedule and the firm restructuring, and his needs.

your orgasm felt like a ripping of reality, your mind splintering at the edges as you’re stretched thin. it felt like you’ve been pulled taut, then released with a resounding snap. it felt euphoric, like the explosion of something intoxicating. something wickedly addicting.

you knew that this could never be unmade. your affections had grown their tendrils, curling past the quiet admiration and spiralling into something unforgiving. into something greater than yourself.

“fuck,” you had rasped out, eyes prickling with tears as shame rushed into your chest. “fuck.”

you didn’t need this. you didn’t need any of this.

but it becomes a cycle — wash, rinse, repeat.

johnny continues to go unshaven; continues to pour his attention to you. and you soak it up, needy and soft, unable to turn away with your tail tucked between your legs. you fall back to the ease of how it had been, hip bumping his, morning coffee shared in the silence, dinner a filling affair once more. all that’s changed are the lingering looks, the resonating touches.

how johnny’s wide hand falls to the small of your back more often; how his fingers just slots against yours every time he passes you your cup; how his eyes rove over your face, always searching for something you dare not hope for.

the last time he flicked his eyes down to watch the way your tongue lapped at your lips, swiping away at the extra cream, johnny’s pupils had constricted before a quiet groan rumbled from his throat. your thighs had quickly clenched close as heat exploded in the pit of your belly, spreading like wildfire through your veins. the pressure on your nub made you hiccup, like a whine dragging itself from your trachea, and johnny had snapped his eyes back to yours so quickly, it made you heady.

“bon–”

“i have to go,” you murmured, clamouring to shaky legs.

you fucked yourself to a deafening point once more, ears ringing as you squirted, the gush of your slick pushing past your fingers. you had to gnash your pillow cover to muffle the moan rumbling from the base of your throat, trying desperately to be good. to not be heard. to be better.

but johnny’s burning gaze on your lips was seared into your memory, blazing on top of everything, and you imagined—

god, you imagined.

the way he’ll take you — beard rough on your chin, thicker fingers spreading you wider, reaching deeper, before finally filling you up with all of him, bullying the whole length of his cock until he bottoms out.

you pressed on your stomach, dizzy, thinking about how johnny would hit that far. you know he would. the women he’s slept with have told you, anyway, in passing, describing how he was in bed with dreamy sighs like they weren’t still reeking of sex and johnny’s aftershave.

(you still wonder why so many of them were mean, their noses tipped up every time they saw you. they were the ones that johnny chose, the ones who were fortunate enough to have been his lover, so you wonder why they still sought you out like you were competition.)

“johnnyyyy!” you moaned, loud and long, your fingers prodding at your walls, and you knew that you’d regret the wrangled cry later, but you didn’t care then, too busy swimming in the aftermath of your orgasm.

but johnny heard it anyway.

he told you that he had heard you.

it happened so quickly — one moment you were bent over the espresso machine, fiddling with the levers with bleary-eyed attempts, then the next thing you knew was that johnny was crowding you, trapping you between the warm bulk of his body and the counter, his eyes furrowed so deeply which made the lines on his forehead run much deeper.

“whu’?” you asked, blinking tiredly at him.

johnny just did this shaky breath that rattled his whole body, like he was propped up by a couple of sticks instead of his whole mass. the mood shifted with that weak inhale though, and you turned to fully face him, ignoring the beeping machine because johnny was still looking at you with those eyes.

the ones that made you feel seen, read, and laid bare before him. like he could weave his eyes past the fabrics of your shirt to peek into the very jagged shards of your heart and see the cross that you’ve been carrying. like he knew things about you that he shouldn’t.

“johnny?” you prodded again, finding his silence alarming.

“yer too young for me, m’eudail,” johnny finally rumbled out, voice thick and deep.

and it’s—

what.

your mind was pressing into your skull, trying desperately to link your synapses together; for the fog to clear and for your coherence to rise above the pull of drowsiness, but johnny was faster. like now that he’s said the first words, the rest just follow, unstoppable in their force and in their meaning.

“i told myself i couldn’t,” he murmured, still breathing shakily; gaze still too fragile. “that yer lookin’ for nothin’ like me, and that yer just tryin’ to get out there with yer career.”

he lifted a hand, fingers twitching, before balling it back down to a fist.

“told myself i’ve gotta let go. found a way to cope and shit.”

johnny took another ragged breath in, and it startled you into gulping one of your own — you didn’t even realize that you’ve held your breath as he spoke to you, your chest clenching tightly as your mind began to link the passageways together, filling you in on what he wasn’t really saying.

“but carin’ f’you was so easy. christ, it was even delightful, hen.” he chuckled, something that was somewhat raw and pained.

you licked at your lips, blinking wide eyes open. johnny tracked the movement, his nose flaring like you’ve done something more than a subconscious thing, his shoulders going taut.

“i like doing all sorta things for you. liked seeing y’eat what i cooked; liked seeing y’use what i got f’you. liked watching y’come home to me. to me.”

a soft sound echoed between the two of you, and it took you an embarrassingly long time to realize that it was a breathless whimper that petered out from the base of your throat. you didn’t even realize that you’ve curled into yourself, almost like you’re trying your best to shrink before johnny, and johnny crooned.

callused palm cupped the round of your cheek, his thumb swiping just underneath your eye. “told myself yer too young; that surely yer looking for someone closer to yer age, but bon, i heard y’last night.”

you startled in his hold, a quiet gasp piercing through the heat. johnny’s lips danced with mirth.

“s’right. heard a loud thump against the wall and ran upstairs, all worried, but guess my surprise, yes? y’were moanin’ my name so loudly, it’s like y’left yer door open.”

“johnny, i–”

“tell me,” he said, moving closer, his chest pressing against yours. “tell me t’stop, bon, an’ i will. but y’ve got to tell me. y’ve got to push me away.”

you looked at him, your eyes trembling at what he was laying out thickly, and your throat going parched at the blanketing desire rippling from him. there were so many things you wanted to ask, but his breath was tickling the bridge of your nose, dancing so close to the bow of your lips, and your heart ached.

desire coursed through you in waves, dribbling from the cup, and you lurched forward, chasing after his lips.

johnny melted into you. his hesitant touch turned greedier, more possessive, mapping your body and pulling you closer into him. his mouth devoured your own, gulping down the pleased little sighs and keens spilling from your lips. he kissed like a man starved, but you weren’t any softer; all nippy and desperate, fingers digging into his hair and fisting at the thin strands.

it was feverish, almost to a boiling point, and you needed more.

god, you needed more.

“johnny,” you mewled when he pulled away just enough to slide his damp lips along the cut of your jaw. “johnny, need you.”

“christ,” johnny sounded so wrecked, his voice rumbling deeply from where his lips were suckling on the soft curve of your neck. “i’ve been dreaming of this, mo luaidh. i knew i shouldn’t but yer so sweet to me and i– i wanted.” he said that word like it was dirty; like he’d been fighting tooth-and-nail to suppress it.

it made you tremble to hear how johnny desired you just as much. he had always felt unobtainable; always danced too far from your grasp and was always bigger than what you knew you could handle — his lovers had always looked divinely; pretty, yes, but fierce in their own right like they knew how to live without johnny; and you know they could, because they didn’t need johnny the way you do. they didn’t look at johnny like you do, like he hung the stars with those thick and aged hands of his.

but as you stood there, feeling every word punctured onto your skin, you couldn’t help but begin to cry, the tears springing from your eyes to slip down your cheeks. johnny rubbed your back, soothing and gentle.

“i wanted t’take you – make y’all mine,” he whispered.

you hiccuped, shaky from the weight of your hunger, and nuzzled close. your hands fell from fisting his hair so you could claw at the sharp corners of his shoulder blades, feeling the muscles there rippling, all taut when he bent forward and kissed you.

“please,” you began, feeling your mind thinning because you wanted more. more. more. more. “i can be– johnny, s’always been you. nobody else but you.”

you tugged him away, cupping his jaw and forcing him to look at you. and god, johnny looked so devastatingly beautiful, his eyes all furrowed and his cheeks all flushed, and his lips spit-sheened.

“fuck me,” you whispered, tired of dancing around.

he groaned, something that sounded so pained, before he was tugging you with him, up the stairs and skirting past your room and into his.

you’ve never been in johnny’s room before, just as he had never been in yours since you moved in, and until now you still don’t know what you had been expecting upon walking in, but the smell of johnny wafting through was almost gut-punching. he smelled so close, like he was everywhere — surrounding you from the ground-up, dousing every pore with him until even your mouth felt full.

and johnny, he smelt like home.

there were no more words uttered as he stripped you off your pyjamas, sure fingers making their way down the buttons, unlatching them from the hemmed slits. you watched with heavy eyes, blinking slowly like everything had been wrung out of you, leaving you pliant and soft. johnny hummed, appreciative, and mapped kisses from your heaving chest, teeth nipping at the fat, before moving on, sprinkling every expanse of your skin with such reverence.

your hands were balled to your chest when he reached the jut of your belly, his chin hovering just above your crotch. johnny flicked up his darkened eyes at you, asking silently.

you gave him a nod, not trusting your own voice too.

johnny’s eyes had turned into slits, pleased, and hefted himself up just enough to be able to fit his hands on your hips and tugged your pants down. you shivered, the warmth in his room not enough to suppress the winter chill, and it made you buck into him. johnny comforted you with a quiet shh, rubbing his palm on the pudge of your thigh in soothing circles.

you don’t know why that touch was what did it for you, but soft sobs finally spilled from your mouth, scrunching up the desire into something undeniably frail. johnny didn’t startle though, like he knew that you had been wounding up to this tipping point, and instead continued to touch you tenderly, almost like if he could, he would cradle you close.

“i love you,” you said, sniffling, because that was the crux of your vulnerability, right?

you love him. god, you love him.

you’ve loved him since the day he sat you down for dinner and told you that you’ve got nothing to worry about, not anymore and not with him around. you’ve loved him since the day he flipped the den so you can have your own space for work; don’t mind the fact that he didn’t know if you were going to even stay, just that he insisted that you deserved that room either way. you’ve loved him since that swiss chocolate, since that cup of coffee, since he’s begun filling your painfully lonely days with his care.

you’ve loved him since and now—

“oh, mo graidh,” johnny breathed out. “i love you too.” he kissed your thigh, scruff ticklish. “gu siorraidh is gu brath.”

you wanted to ask what that meant but johnny was already moving, sitting back up to strip out of his own shirt. you trailed your eyes down his body, capturing your trembling lips between your teeth at how breathtaking he was — soft with fat but still heavy with muscles, fuzzy with hair with the smattering pooling just underneath his belly button before trailing down to where they were hidden underneath his pants.

you twitched before finally braving enough to reach out and brush your knuckle over the indents of his softened abs. johnny hummed, something that curled with appreciation, before covering your hand with his and holding it there.

“all of me s’yers, hen,” he said with such finality that you felt it settle deep within the marrows of your bones.

you nodded, emotionally spent and johnny lilted something else in scottish, so soft that it was almost a croon. you let him manhandle you — pushing your hips up so he could slot a pillow under for your back; you were so malleable to his touch as he took over, bending once again for a kiss while his fingers danced past the laces of your panties and into the damp heat of your pussy.

you moaned, eyelashes fluttering when he pressed one in, so careful and slow, but you were so wet that it slid in with no resistance, gobbling it up knuckle-deep. johnny had groaned like he could feel your rising euphoria, before nosing along your temple as he wiggled the finger around, stroking at your walls. you wondered if he was going to tease but then he was pulling it out, only to plunge two in the next thrust, curling and stretching, and oh—

oh, ssss’good.

you don’t even remember how long he’d been spearing you with his thicker fingers, rough and long and reaching far, far deeper than you could with your own, but you laid there, sobbing, feeling your slick slip out, pooling, making a mess of your thighs and his sheets. johnny had moved from suckling on your neck to taking a nipple in his mouth, teeth softly gnashing at the bud. you felt like you were on fire, burning from your core, aching for a release.

“cum f’me, m’eudail,” johnny groaned, breathless himself, his cock poking underneath his boxers, the fabric all wet from where his tip was, leaking pearled pre-. “let me see you.”

“johnny, i’m gonna– i’m–!” you squealed, legs jumping, squeezing johnny’s sides as you jolted, hips twitching at the bloating ecstasy. johnny just pushed down on your thigh, not letting up with the pace of his fingers. he was fucking you so hard that his hand’s slapping against your skin, his palm grinding down on your clit just right, and the pleasure sizzled into something biting. into something that was almost painful.

it was catastrophic, pulling you into two directions. johnny’s everywhere — his scent in your lungs, his fingers deep in your pussy, his mouth hot and wet on your tits, and like this, like this, you felt yourself breaking.

ripping—

then, your orgasm was punched out of you.

your senses had gone awry — throat throbbing as you cried out, your eyes going blind as they rolled into your skull at the final curl of johnny’s fingers. white noise filled your ears, and it was like you were submerged underneath water, wading through the crashing tides of your climax.

you came back to johnny peppering your face with soft kisses, whispering something you couldn’t decipher past the croon of your name and something like you did good and so beautiful. he’d already pulled his fingers out, and used both arms to cradle you close. you felt so empty — god, that wasn’t even his cock, yet — but your body thrummed pleasantly, almost like the itch was finally scratched.

“johnny?” you puffed out, voice all scratchy and weak.

“i’m here, bon. i’m here.”

you hummed, curling into his chest, head pillowed by his arm. you wanted to ask what about his own euphoria, but johnny seemed so content just laying there with you, not really desperate or needy, so you let it go, losing the battle against your drowsiness before finally slipping into a quiet sleep.

johnny’s there for your graduation, carrying a big bouquet of only eden roses. you didn’t even know that those particular ones were expensive until someone from the graduation party oohed and aahed to their friend.

your cheeks burned when their friend chirped, “well someone’s clearly loved.”

you know that what they said would have had johnny agreeing loudly if he was allowed in the lineup because he is never one to be shy about what he feels; or not anymore, anyway. he loves so fully and openly that you still wonder why it took the two of you so long to get together, but the days since then had just been kind and filling that you have long forgotten how it was to not be with him.

they’re going to call your name soon, and your stomach swoops, excitement and anxiety mixing in a dizzying tandem.

you’re graduating with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a diploma in early childhood education, and this is not where you thought you would be when you first started university, but it’s the happiest you have ever been. and sure much of your poli-sci courses were scrapped when you changed majors, and that’s also a lot of money wasted, but you have three job opportunities lined up already and it’s like the seismic shift in your life had finally corrected itself.

(your mom said she’s sorry that she and your pa couldn’t come, but you’ve stopped longing for their acceptance and told her it was fine.

there’s a date saved in your calendar, though, for a brunch with her and that was enough.)

you ducked into johnny’s arms when the graduation ceremony ended, careful of the bouquet he’s holding.

“congratulations, bonnie,” he says, a hearty laugh rumbling from his chest. “christ, i’m so, so proud of you.”

you never pegged yourself for a crybaby, but tears begin to pool in the corners of your eyes at the weight of his words.

“thank you,” you reply, soft and raw, and honest.

johnny pulls you in, his lips warm as they’re pressed on your forehead.

and this, just like this, you know things will only get better from here on out.

#suns #johnny soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish #soap x reader #cod x reader #f!reader #read tags!!

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darklordofthesimp · 9 months ago

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Anything VIII (König x Reader)

The 8th instalment in the Anything-Verse

Main Masterlist

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

Like the characters? Read their fics below!

Sunshine Masterlist || Saint Masterlist

Series Summary: A lack of information from the chain of command results in König mistaking you for an enemy sniper.

A/N: No one make any sudden movements. I have returned. Excuse how rusty my writing is.

Category: Angst || Hurt/Comfort || Unrequited Pining || Tension

Warning: Graphic Language

What a sight you must behold.

Sleepless, stressed and on the verge of your breaking point… again.

It was no wonder that Saint watched you with deep concern, no wonder that they held their pen like it was a lifeline rather than just stationary. You wanted them to just understand, you needed them to know that you weren’t insane- everything was so elaborately planned and you were just on the verge of unravelling it.

“Saint,” you rasped, “there are people in on this…. The brass. I think König too. It’s a fuck-fight.”

The doctor leaned back into their chair, eyes never leaving your jittering figure. The sigh that fell from their lips released none of the tension balled tightly in their shoulders.

“Birdy…”

You stood to your feet. You didn’t want to hear it.

You were sick of hearing people say your name in that tone: placatingly, diminishing your thoughts and dismissing you as if you were the local crazy.

Maybe you were the local crazy.

Is that how everybody saw you? Did everybody truly think that you were so off-kilter that you’d hallucinate a coup? You were a victim of assault- not insanity.

“Stop,” Saint put their pen down firmly on the table, drawing your attention back to the situation at hand. “I’m listening. I’m just a little… hesitant. It’s a very serious accusation, Birdy, but I’m not doubting the source.”

You shot the medical officer a knowing glare. “Oh,” you drawled sarcastically, “because everybody takes me seriously at this unit with my history, right?”

“I don’t give a fuck about whether anybody else takes you seriously,” Saint’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I take you seriously, Birdy.”

The room was doused in tension. Your fingers curled to form tight fists, skin stretching over your knuckles until they turned white. You don’t know why you were angry at their declaration, angry at their loyalty.

Maybe it was because you knew it was misplaced.

Maybe it was because you knew you’d disappoint. “Yeah,” you sighed softly, relaxing your hands as you turned for the door. “That makes one of us.”

_______

The walk to training always held some anxiety but this time it was as if you were drowning in it. Each step felt like a death knell and sudden dryness in your mouth made you want to turn back and run to the safety of your room.

You thought that you were well and truly past this.

Apparently, you couldn’t get past anything.

As you approached the door you were surprised to hear voices. No one ever wanted to interact with König, let alone at 7 a.m. on a Saturday. The room was always booked for the two of you at this time, interruptions were specifically warned against by Price.

It’s just a conversation. You took in a deep breath. Not everything required a downward spiral, not all mysteries needed investigation.

Literally just a fucking conversation. Get a grip.

You straightened your shoulders as you approached the door and the dialogue became clearer.

“Birdy will be here soon.” König’s voice was as familiar as your own. “You need to leave.”

You pulled up short just before the entrance, frozen like a deer in the headlights. There was a short silence before a soft thud echoed throughout the room. It sounded like a hand being clapped over the shoulder but you weren’t sure. Could have been a punch, could have been a really intense kiss, who fucking knew?

All you knew was that they weren’t meant to be there. Maybe it was Sunshine.

Although you hated the arrogant fucker, it would relieve you to know it was them. They were inconsequential and, although they were annoying, they wouldn’t be behind your assassination attempt.

Sunshine would have made sure you were in the ground, no matter the cost. Sunshine would have succeeded.

Instead, the voice that rattled in your ears wasn’t your fellow coworker.

“Just be careful. Wouldn’t want to jump the gun, would we?”

Your blood turned to ice.

Graves.

You could almost hear that snake-like grin in his words, you could almost see the look in his eyes that was nothing but predatory. Phillip was charming when he wanted to be, but there was something terrifying about him.

Like a trap lying in wait.

Like a traitor waiting to strike.

The sound of sure and steady footsteps snapped you out of your thoughts. Panic flooded your system, kicking your adrenaline into gear. There was nowhere to hide, not even a small nook in this god-forsaken hallway.

As Graves drew closer to discovering your presence, you bounced back a few steps from where you’d been frozen. Throwing your arms above your head as if you were stretching and squinting your eyes with an outrageous yawn was all you could pull together.

Phillip rounded the corner with a cocky sway that made your heart race. You watched him scan your slowly approaching body, seemingly tired and unaware. You acted surprised to see him, carefully schooling your face to return to the usual lifelessness that it held.

“Birdy!” Graves said, slowing his pace. With a flash of teeth, the corner of his mouth pulled upward into a knowing smirk. “Good to see you.”

“I bet,” you said monotonously, adding a dismissive nod at the end like a punctuation mark.

Phillip’s smirk turned into a smile.

“Enjoy your session,” the man said slowly. As he drew closer you could feel your chest tightening. He smelt fresh like he had just gotten out of a long, hot shower. You hated that he was close enough to smell the fucking body wash on his skin.

His shoulder brushed yours as he passed by, setting your body alight with fear. You didn’t dare look over your shoulder as you trekked towards the gym door, eyes firm on that handle. His footsteps still echoed along the hallway by the time that you’d reached the entrance.

“You’re late.”

König’s voice startled you despite making direct eye contact with him.

The man looked disgruntled, to say the least. His hair looked like he’d been running his fingers through it over and over, and your guess was confirmed when he roughly raked it over once more. König’s eyes were looking anywhere but yours.

“I’m not.” You’d meant for those words to have some bite to them but you couldn’t muster up the venom. Not when he looked like that.

“You are,” he insisted with a snarl.

You raised your hands up in surrender, eyes narrowing at his hostility. The urge to leave grew tenfold and so did your distrust for the man before you. There were too many things that pointed towards his guilt in planning your assassination.

The way he’d tried to blow off your concerns, the vehement way he’d shouted for you to drop it, and now, his interaction with Graves. You thought back to your time in the kitchen when Phillip had first encountered you both.

“Now, who’d have thought that you’d both be so… close.” He had said.

The Shadow had watched with intrigue as König stepped in front of you as if protecting you from him. If you really thought about it, most of his smarminess was aimed at the man beside you, rather than yourself.

You swallowed and choked on your own spit. It was a distant reminder of when it had been your own blood that you’d coughed on.

König’s sigh tore you from your spiralling conspiracies.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. His tone was quiet but his eyes were genuine.

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat. “No, it’s fine. I get shitty when I deal with Graves, too.”

But why was he with Phillip in the first place?

You wanted to ask him, everything in you pleaded to seek out the truth. You needed to investigate-, you needed to know. Your mouth opened to get the answers you so desperately desired, but a thought made you stop in your tracks.

What if you let on that you were suspicious of him?

It was clear that you were no match against König. Your entire life had become interwoven with his and it felt like he was there in your every waking moment. If he knew that you suspected him, it would only put you in danger again. He’d busted through your bedroom door once and that was enough to tell you that you wouldn’t be safe from him anywhere you went.

You distantly realized that König was watching you carefully from where he stood, jade eyes analyzing every quirk of your lips and every twitch of your brows.

“What?” You said, feigning self-consciousness. “Admiring your handiwork?”

The man shot you a glare and you prayed that was enough to shift his attention.

“I hate it when you say things like that,” he hissed, pulling his jacket down his arms and throwing it aside. “Seriously.”

“Yeah, well I hate having a chopping block for a face.” You tilted your head to shoot him a deadpan look over your shoulder. “Seriously.”

“I cannot deal with you sometimes, Birdy.” König hissed.

“I can tell,” you jerked your thumb towards your marred features.

You knew that you were playing with fire. The way the man stood straight, his gaze narrowing and any sense of banter dissipating from his features, made it very clear that it was time for you to stop pushing that particular button.

“Your attempt at deflecting is not as effective as you may think,” König said, his words slow and deliberate. Jade eyes bore into yours and your breath stuttered in your chest.

You could lie to him, you could play dumb. He was dangerous and if you tipped him off you would be dead by morning.

You couldn’t make sense of that logic, though. If he wanted you dead, you’d well and truly have been dead by now. Your cheeks stung at the thought… you suppose that there wasn’t a lack of trying. Maybe it really had just been a failed attempt.

“Birdy,” the soldier said, shooting a glance at the door. “I know what you are thinking and you need to put a stop to it.”

Those contesting thoughts came to a staggering halt.

“I don’t even know what I’m thinking,” you snapped. “What would you know?”

König raised a brow at your tone, opening his mouth to deliver what you would assume to be an infuriating response. The words choked and fell from his tongue, though. There was a huff as he turned on his heel, stalking towards the exit and closing the door.

You swallowed thickly.

When he swivelled to look at you it was with a burning gaze that pinned you to where you stood.

“You bring attention to us in ways that will get us killed,” König whispered harshly, his accent was sharp and heavy with each enunciation. “You need to stop.”

“Stop what?” You waved your hands at him. “You’re so fucking vague.”

He flinched forward, pushing his finger onto your lips. You smacked his hand away like a cat pawing at something irritating.

“Would you be quiet?” He snarled through gritted teeth. König took in a deep breath, casting another look at the exit. He was watching the light beneath the door, making sure there were no shadows tipping off an eavesdropper. Why was he suddenly the paranoid one?

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You lowered your tone but the urgency behind it was still present.

“You need to stop chasing this lead,” König shook his head, gaze imploring. “You need to stop trying to find who planned the accident.”

Your mouth went dry.

“Is that a threat?” The words were a true whisper this time. Barely falling from your lips and only as audible as a soft gasp.

König’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Are you in on it?” You asked, taking a step backward.

Bile roiled in your stomach as if mimicking a stormy sea. There was a distinct buzzing in your ears, numbing you to anything but the situation at hand.

“What?” König repeated. “What? No. That is not what I meant by that.”

You shook your head, “the other day- the way you reacted says otherwise.”

He reached out for your arm and you wonder if it was to comfort you or to detain you. You finched away from him but this time the man before you didn’t yield. He did not back down and he did not allow you the illusion of control.

Instead, König held you firmly by your biceps.

“I need you to listen to me, Birdy. We don’t have time for this back and forth thing that we do every time.”

Rage tore through your chest at his dismissal and you would have told him as much had he not looked so desperate. Instead, you kept your mouth shut as the man watched you pleadingly. You would let him speak because maybe he had the answers you were searching for, maybe König would be the evidence to prove that these suspicions weren’t delusions.

The man cast another glance towards the doorway before letting go of your arms. You straightened cautiously, being mindful to not rub at the skin he’d had contact with.

“Well?” You whispered impatiently, waving a hand at him to continue. “You wanna manhandle me or do you want to talk?”

“It’s not safe for us to talk here,” König’s words were barely audible. “You need to stop with your head-hunting. Stop asking questions.”

His eyes were fierce, warning you not to challenge his demands but you couldn’t care less. He, of all people, had no right to be telling you when to chase answers.

He raised a hand before you could speak. “You are going to get us both killed because you gather intel like a child-”

“What does that even mean?” You interrupted harshly.

“It means you have alerted everyone, Birdy!” König snapped, his voice harsh and his eyes flashing. “Whoever did this knows that you’re onto them. They know that we know.”

You blinked dumbly, stunned.

The man glared at you for a long moment, his chest heaving with laden breaths. The silence that eneveloped you both was anything but empty. There was a buzzing in your ears and you weren’t sure if you were relieved or horrified that he’d confirmed your suspicions. Blind rage filled your lungs as if you were drowning.

“You mother fucker!” You hissed between gritted teeth, shoving at his chest with as much force as you could muster. “You fucking knew?”

“Of course I knew!” König bit back as he stumbled for his footing. “I’ve been trying to find them and you have been hindering me every fucking step of the way, Birdy.”

You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs, you wanted to bash this man over and over just like he’d done to you. You weren’t insane but he was more than happy to intimidate you into thinking that you were.

“How could you keep this from me?” Your fingers dug into the skin of his arms as you grabbed him. You wanted to shake the truth from the giant before you, rattle the honesty right from his mouth. “After everything that’s happened!”

König didn’t so much as wince at your nails in his skin, fury simmered in his eyes like molten jade. “I was your main suspect and you outright told me about your suspicions while you were locked in a room with me, Birdy. What would have happened if I was actually everything you make me out to be?”

You swallowed thickly, your fingers loosening their grip.

“I could have killed you right there,” König continued softly, “at this rate you’ll die before you find them.”

“You said I already tipped everyone off,” you rasped, almost meek in tone. “How have they not come for me yet?”

The man rolled his shoulders, shooting another paranoid glance at the door. He continued talking as he scanned the room, searching for telltale signs of a third party.

“Everyone thinks you are disabled, Birdy, no one is taking your concerns seriously.” König straightened, levelling you with an evaluative glare. “But I knew better.”

You drew in a deep breath, holding it in for a few moments before releasing just like Saint had taught you. Your heart squeezed in your chest at the thought of your therapist. You told them everything- König was right. You’d mouthed off your suspicions knowing that Saint and Price were close. What if Saint had told Price? Then Price would have told Shephard and Simon and then- God.

You’re so fucking stupid.

Of course everyone knew, you’d practically blasted it across the unit’s P.A system.

“What now?” You managed to croak. “What do we do now?”

König frowned at you, his body falling still. “We?”

“You’re not leaving me out of this,” you ground out.

“We are not doing anything together,” he said, eyes roaming over your features quizzically. Your heart lurched desperately, there was no way you’d let him do this without you. You deserved to be a part of this, you deserved to get your justice and whoever did this deserved to die.

“You owe it to me!” You nearly raised your voice, fear trickling down the expanse of your spine. Not a fear of the man before you, but this time it was a fear of being left behind. Left to paranoia, left alone with your thoughts and suspicions and no one to hear them.

König shook his head, “we cannot work together.”

“We have to!”

“We can’t!”

Your eyes were wide and your chest was heaving as the man before you gripped your shoulders. He lowered down to a knee, drawing close enough that you were only a breath apart. You opened your mouth to offer a shaky response but the way his gaze ran over your features stole the words straight from your tongue.

“I will not risk your safety again, Birdy.” König’s words brushed against your lips, warm but sorrowful. “That is what I owe to you.”

#konig x reader #könig cod #könig x reader #könig call of duty #König #konig modern warfare #konig mw2 #konig call of duty #konig cod #modern warfare 2 #mw2 x reader #cod mw2 x reader #cod mw2 #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #call of duty

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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 6 months ago

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Hermitcraft / Life Series Fic Recs

Because I love so many of them...

I'll split the fics into completed and updating fics, and try to only recommend currently updating fics (i.e., not abandoned). I'm going to write a little about why I like each fic and what the general vibes are - so this is also a kind of review I guess?

I've tried to @ the authors if they have a public tumblr. Sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged, I can remove any @ if you ask (or if I have embarrassingly tagged the wrong person). Anyway, enjoy, and I appreciate reblogs because I want as many people to see these fics as possible!!

This ended up being incredibly long so I'm putting a divider here. Click to keep reading!!! Also, fair warning: shipping ahead! Some fics will have mild sexual content, please read the tags if you are unsure <3

Updating Fics

I have already recommended Help Me To Breathe, lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart), and There Are Monsters Nearby in this post, so I won't explain why I like them a second time, but definitely check them out!!

Death's A Good Gig by @mawofthemagnetar is probably going to be finished by the time this post gets to you, reader, but I'm putting it here anyway. It's short and sweet, one of my favourite representations of Zedaph (or, Zedeath) I've read, and just a joy to experience. If you like grim reapers and discussions of unions, this one is for you. Also I need more Zedaph in my life.

Look, I'm Sorry, Please Stop Scaring Everyone by @cat-in-the-desert reminds me a lot of a particular TV drama I liked when I was younger, which followed a similar premise. This fic follows Mumbo (vampire) and Grian (ghost) as they get up to various housemate shenanigans and meet their local magic-expert and salesman Scar. This fic is fun, but still includes a nice amount of Feelings and hinted-at Angst which I really love. It's lighthearted, but never boring.

It Hurts To Hope by Inquillitory is my favourite of the "Grian crash lands into Hermitcraft and causes problems for everyone" genre. Seeing how many fics there are with that premise, I think that says a lot. It handles Grian's weird Watcher stuff really well. Honestly, I just want to know what happens next!

killing the boy in the tv by @raspberrystruck is like a sickfic on steroids. If you want Grian with so much past trauma he forgets how to function in society, this is basically the fic for you. I really love how hybrid traits affect the characters' interactions in this fic, and how everyone is kind of messed up because of the imbalance Grian brings. It is wonderfully descriptive in all the right places!

Love Me Like I'm Dead by @daniofcrows is such a gem. You know how hard it is to find good Xisuma whump? It's impossible. I absolutely love how Xisuma and Evil X are characterised in this, and I am obsessed with the unique take on hanahaki disease which I have never seen handled in this way before. The balance between flashbacks and present day is maintained wonderfully and I cannot wait to continue reading this one. Wow.

Oh, you wanted me to do a verse? by @bugbbear is... kind of indescribable. It's horror. It's comedy. It's the apocalypse. It's boatem. Scar eats someone. One of the most interesting and unique apocalypse stories I have read. Slowly updating but worth the wait, in my opinion. This one NEEDS more attention.

So Much For Stardust by @a-plethora-of-peters is basically one of my all-time favourites. Which is a damn good achievement seeing as I don't usually read ZITS fics. Like, ever. In this fic, Skizz is a human abducted and hurt badly by aliens, now recovering in the care of good aliens who don't know how 'sentient' he is. Every update of this one makes me smile, it is wonderful. I love how the characters are written and how the different perspectives are shown. It is just great.

Solar Waltz by @raspberrystruck and aroundtheclock is a brilliant and very very sad regression fic. I love fluffy regression fics as much as the next guy, but this one just... hits different. The hurt/comfort levels are off the charts. Grian is so damn cute the whole time, while also being harrowingly complicated and sad. I am so ready for whatever comes next.

Tango's Castle of Cards by @evilrat-sabre is the one where Tango is a BUG. He's just a little guy (horror). This one is so beautifully written, with poetry-type interludes and perspective changes that really make everything feel so much more impactful. Finding out your buddy is a murder bug isn't the easiest thing in the world. I love this so much.

Traveling Thieves {Dark Fantasy AU} (series) by @amethystfairy1 is basically one of the series of all time. I know I keep saying that but it really really is. I love a good fantasy au, and I love an au with hybrids even more. In this world, hybrids are treated like slaves, but it isn't all doom and gloom for the main characters of each installment. There is a lot of hurt/comfort and the different stories feed into each other in really interesting ways. I try to read as much as I can, though I've missed a few because my emails are buggy. Definitely worth reading these fics, especially since now they're all starting to come together!

Completed Fics

Solving Counting Sheep by @theminecraftbee might have rearranged my brain chemistry a little. Another strong contender for 'fics that inspire me to kill Grian', this time with a more concrete notion of "replacement". Three is my favourite fucked up living weapon. It's so rare to find Evo fics in this day and age, too. This fic had me immediately clicking on every update as soon as I got the emails.

Rescue Fire by @imaginethat0327 is one of the most unique takes on a fictionalised life series game that I have ever read. The whole concept is explained in a realistic and easy-to-follow way, as we learn what's happening with the characters. There are several brilliant storylines happening in this one, but my particular favourites are Jimmy & Tango, Joel, and of course Scar & Grian. This fic is full of whump and, well, read the tags, it isn't always pleasant, but those are my favourite things ever. Definitely worth checking out this fic and its currently updating sequel.

don't you know about me? by takenbadgering is a wonderful comedy of errors with just the right amount of angst for a realistic setting type of fic. If you enjoy polyamory miscommunications, rave aesthetics, kandi, school teacher dynamics, and a lovely blend between grumbo, cubscar, and mumscar, this is the one.

Eventually the Birds Must Land by @milo-hypno follows a polyam ship I would have never thought of, and I cannot believe how much I loved it. This married-as-friends fic premise is wonderful, and captures the main trio (Grian, Mumbo, Impulse)'s personalities so well, while balancing them with the incredibly terrifying descriptions of the Watchers and their power. There's a lot of angst here, but it is ultimately hurt/comfort to the maximum degree. I loved reading it as it updated. Yay for gay marriage!

From The Archives (series) by @sixteenth-days was the absolute inspiration for my own Comms AU, and I will never forget its influence on me. As someone basically unfamiliar with TMA, I thought this series might be hard to follow, but it was not! I read all 57 parts in the span of two days, and I think it altered my brain chemistry. Please read it, even if (especially if) you don't know anything about TMA. The Cleo and Grian storyline lives in my head rent free. I mean it. This is horror at its finest. Also there's an audio series of this fic being released rn, which is very cool.

SUPERCRITICAL by @masque-of-plague hits different. It is such a wonderful take on the superhero/HotGuy trope, and it gets so super dark at some points! This one really takes swings at it's fictional government, which of course I love, while at the same time building this brilliantly emotional relationship between Scar and Grian. I do enjoy a bit of enemies to lovers, but the actual plot mixed into the story makes this one extra special. It is thrilling, with action that I don't get to see too often! Great work.

I am weary with contending! is one of the mumscarian fics of all time. From 'this house has people in it'-type horror, to magic gone wrong, to childhood trauma, to attempted assassination, to gender fuckery, this fic has it all. Usually I don't go for convex siblings, but this one is good enough to get a pass from me. Amazingly detailed worldbuilding alongside a brilliantly creative story.

It Spreads by @foxxology may not count as a fic, actually. It's a comic. But it's posted on ao3 so it counts. I was obsessed with this one as it was updating, honestly. It rocked me to my core. The art is phenomenal. The writing is brilliant. I love sculk.

Luck of the sea by Sleepy_Duck is a lovely take on mermaid and human interactions, with Grian as a marine life conservator and Scar as a very neglected mer. This one takes us emotionally in all sorts of directions, and offers lots of hope for the future of the characters. I heavily enjoyed this fic - if you like mermaids and marine biology, check it out.

there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag is another mermaid fic but with a pretty different vibe. First of all, it follows what I would consider a rarepair Doc/Martyn. Second of all, reading this as it updated was a thrilling experience that nearly made me cry at certain points. I love how the relationship builds in this fic. It is honestly amazing. The whole idea of experimenting on a sentient sea creature, learning that he can communicate, then losing funding and having to save him from being dissected?!?! It's crazy. I love it.

Thus concludes my fic recommendations. I hope you enjoy at least some of these, and consider reblogging to spread these wonderful fics around <3

#ben chats shit on the internet #hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitshipping #fanfiction #fic recs #life series #trafficblr #traffic smp #trafficshipping #traffic series #traffic life #??? what else do i tag this uhh #long post

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littyhoney · 1 year ago

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Right Person,Wrong Time (part 3)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

BIG SPOILER WARNING TO ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE!!

Earth 42 Miles Morales x Reader

Chapter summary: One last heart break...will you ever get enough of it?

Warning: Spoilers for the movie Across the Spider-verse, slight angst

ps: If yall have any request for one-shots and imagines message me im open up for requests! <3

You been avoiding Miles ever since the incident happened betweent the two of you… not that you are being petty but it just hurt your feelings to see someone you care looking at you thinking it be someone else instead even after you give your all to him. You still went on to the patrol with him at night but separately,only come to help him when the situation is overwhelms him but nothing more than that.

You are sitting in your dorm room at Vision Academy currently finishing up your essay, music blaring in the background. But your focus got disturb when a ring come from your phone on the bed, you use your web to pull it towards you to see the caller ID.

Coco Head calling…

You sigh contemplating you want to accept the call or not,your thumb hovering on the red button but your guts is screaming at you to accept. “Oh what the heck…” you mumble to yourself before accept the call and put the phone againts your ear hearing a panic screams from Miles reach your ear and a few groans here and there. You shot up from your seat.

“Miles? What is going on!?” You panic as you hear Miles struggle againts or with someone over the phone,in your head maybe he is fighting againts a criminal when he is supposed to be in the principa’s office “you heard Miles scream one more time before he manage to let out a loud “I NEED HELP HERE THIS GUY IS OUT OF CONTROL!” before another scream is heard.

“Where the hell are you Miles! Im coming to-” you start to walk towards the window before you see outside of the window makes you stop talking. Outside the window you see Miles is struggling to catch a guy…in a cow outfit? Or a dalmation,what a weird taste in costume for a criminal but you shake your head and tell him through the phone “be there in a minute!” you shed off your school uniform underneath it is your spider suit,believe me it gets itchy sometimes through out the day to wear this many layers of clothes to cover the suit man.

You put on your mask before jump out through the window and catch yourself using your web start swinging towards Miles and the weird criminal on top of the bus. You shot out a web towards the hand and foot making it fall on top of the bus as you land besides Miles,who is currently try his best to respond to his dad’s message.

“So uh what are you exactly?” you look down at the white with black spot guy as he struggle againts your web. He grunts around before answering “Im the spot! And no im not a cow OR a dalmation! I’am your nemesis!” clearly the guy is pissed off,but why? You tilt your head “Oookay?”

You turn towards Miles with your hands on your waist with a slight scowl shown on your mask “and you cant even handle a guy that looks like a cow?” Miles turn towards you slightly feel offended by you “That guy is a pain to catch! He can create portals and im late my mom is gonna kill me!” you shake your head slightly “That is a you problem with mama Rio” you turn your head back to the guy to shot a web at him so that you can give him to the police and finish the job easy,but instead of the web get on his body it goes through one of the holes and a black portal open up besides you as the web shot to your side “what the!-” you pull your web resulting to you catapul yourself into the portal resulting to you slam againts the street vendor “No way im getting my ass kick by a cow” you mumble to yourself before catching up on two of them.

Somehow you and Miles finally get a hold of this guy as he is now In a tangle mess mixture of you and Miles web to his limbs in his own portal that he made. You let out a big sigh before turning to Miles “You gotta go now man,don’t want mama Rio to go T-rex on ya” Miles let out a small shoot and look at you “Thanks for helping me with this uh criminal of the week” you nod your head “anytime man…anytime”

Miles look guilty as he contemplating wanting to reach his hand out to you “look, you been avoiding me for few days and I-I understand but-” you stop Miles sentence with your own “Look man,how about you go back to the academy first then we talk about this…after the party” Miles let out a defeat sigh before nodding his head and start to swing his way to the academy “I owe you one!” he shouted. You turn your attention back to the cow looking guy “You stay put right there alright? The police gonna come by any minute” you start to walk backwards as you talk to the edge of the building

“Wait where are you going!? im not done yet!”the ‘cow’ guy screams as he struggle agaits the webs. “I have a class to catch up man, see ya never!” you fall backwards from the edge of the building and make your way back to the window that leads to your dorm room,but you’re still late for the class anyways.

(small times skip as miles got to face with his angry momma bear and stopping the spot with his dad)

It is later in the evening after a long day of classes youre making your way to Miles apartment to attend the party that mama Rio invited you to come,instead of swinging your way from place to place like Miles you love the simplicity to just walk down the sidewalk, looking at the people around you minding their own bussiness completely oblivious as the person that is walking among them is a spiderman/spiderwoman. Youre walking through the alleyway for shortcut before suddenly your spider sense goes off, huh that’s weird. Your hearing sense did’nt hear anything other than the busy street down the alley so you continue on walking.

You went up the stair leading to the party opening the door and see a lot of people are there enjoying themselves with foods and drinks and the music played by the DJ,wow the Morales really know how to throw a party. You make your way to Mrs Morales wanting to greet her first before doing anything else tap her shoulder “Hey mama Rio!”

The woman turn around and smile widely as she lay her eyes on you “(Y/N)! you finally made it welcome dear,we have lots of food and drinks help yourself out” you smile back at her “Thanks mama Rio” you were about to ask where Miles is before a voice came from beside you “Hey (Y/N)!” you turn to look at Mr Morales before held out your palm for a handshake “Congrats on the promotion captain Davis”you smile up at the man happy for him. The man chuckle shaking your hand “Thank you (Y/N),glad you could make it to the party It be a shame for you to miss some of Rio’s cooking”. You laugh lightly before asking where their son is,mama Rio nudge her head looking towards the water tank “Hes’s right there,with his friend”she put one of her hand on her waist looking at her son hanging out with the girl she never seen before.

Mama Rio voice drown away as you stand there,stunned to see who is standing beside Miles and chatting away happily together…It’s Gwen. Your heart starts to beat fast as you clench your hand to a fist on your sides,pursing your lips not believing that she’s there in person. Your heart seems to squeeze itself and you fight the urge to just storm away from the party,not only that Gwen didn’t come to see you but Miles didn’t even call or message to tell you that Gwen is here! Your brows start to turn upside down as your eyes are pierce to where they stand.

(Mama Rio’s POV.)

“She looks old enough to vote does’nt she?” Rio told her husband and the her son’s bestfriend before looking at the child who is beside her,who is clearly in distress. Rio is not blind or a fool,clearly she can see how much the child likes her son,deep down she is hoping Miles would see it but over the years it does’nt seem to grow past that point. Rio put her hand gently on the child’s shoulder giving it a light squeeze before speaking softly “I know you like him my dear,he needs some time to see that”

The child look down before speaking in a such soft tone it almost a whisper “I did give him time mama Rio…but…im giving up on it,maybe it’s better to be there for him and be happy for him you know…”

Rio sigh move herself to where her son is at not before giving her last words to the child “You are a good kid (Y/N), Im sure,one day you will find someone just as selfless and have so much love to give to you” she give the kid one last smile before make her way to where her son is.

Back to you POV.

Mama rio’s word ring through your head…your eyes trail back to where Miles and Gwen are before mumbling to the air “Maybe…in another universe…he would” little that you know…that universe exist,and it's called Earth 42.

To be continued....

(ALMOST THERE TO MEET EARTH 42 MILES BARE WITH ME LOVELY SPIDERS <;3)

tag list:

@dazecrea @i-love-milfs2 @usernamepassowrd-blog @frissy @musicownsme @randomhoex @dystop4in14nd @coldlamaspersonspy @repostingmyfavs @lovefks @wingedghostpepper @bath1lda @baku-boneless @biggestmacsstuff @milesquaritcheswife @mmst4rz @jasontoddsfavoritechair @jadyn-is-kinda-gay-ngl @manduse @angelbunnyboo @bbootyyyshaker9000 @thymom696969 @camilo-uwu @duckwithsunglasses @arlipooh

#miles morales x reader #miles morales fanfiction #miles morales x y/n

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trashart00 · 8 months ago

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Less than 12 hours until the release of “The Tortured Poets Department”!

Hence, I present to you, “The Tortured Catboy Department”

Track List:

SIDE A: Deux Semaines (feat Ladybug) / The Tortured Catboy Department / My Lady Abandons Only Her Favourite Partners / Down Bad

SIDE B: So Long, London / But Daddy I Love Her / Fresh Out the Slammer / Akuma !!! (feat Monarch)

SIDE C: Guilty As Sin? / Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me / Even Ladybug Can’t Fix This / loml

SIDE D: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart / The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived / The Cataclysm / Adrien Agreste

Bonus Tracks: The Black Cat / Solitude / Doppelgänger / Tell-Tail Heart

(Love how so many of the original track names still work)

My takes of what each song is about/inspired by under cut (but, if you feel like it, tell me yours :D)

I’m picturing all of these to be from Adrien’s perspective so they reflect mostly his version of the situations rather than the objective reality (especially the Laybug centered ones)

Deux Semaines (feat Ladybug): This one would focus on the sequence in Multiplication where Monarch doesn’t attack and how LadyNoir’s relationship recovers from the events of Season 4.

TTCD: Kept the “Catboy” singular because while there are multiple Catboy identities, there is only one boy underneath them all. Hence while I think it would be about him just stating his issues with everything, it would also focus on loneliness and how his department is understaffed :(

MLAOHFP: All of the Season 4 LadyNoir separation arc angst, with the “Favourite” being a callback to Risk (and kinda a jab at Rena because he thinks that she’s really her favourite, but y’ know, she didn’t abandon her so Rena can’t be her actual favourite)

Down Bad: Mainly about how Chat’s love for LB makes him excuse her behaviors, but also makes him act out (maybe a reference to Elation).

SL,L: About the whole arc of Gabriel sending Adrien to London and all of the memories he would have surrounding this ordeal - key point, not “So Long, Paris” because he didn’t want to leave, and in the end he comes back to a changed world.

BDILH: This one’s either about the Chat Blanc breakup or Gabriel’s dislike of Marinette in Season 5 (or both, with maybe a line about how he feels like this has happened before)

FOTS: Adrien realizing his father is a Bad Person.

Akuma !!! (feat Monarch): This one would be like a song about his daily life and then the chorus would start with a shout of “Akuma!!!” and it would switch to him as Chat Noir. I feel like it would start out with normal life being boring/hero life being fun but as it goes on he grows exhausted. Monarch has a rap verse.

Guilty As Sin?: Chat Blanc centeric - would ask who is to blame for the destruction of the world, like is it Chat because he lost control or Hawkmoth because he took advantage of his son’s emotion?

WAoLOM: Chat Blanc centric at first (like a villain song) but ends with Adrien reflecting on the events of Evolution-Destruction-Multiplication-PS night

ELCFT: I think it would be about his relaction ship with his father and how he wishes there was something he could do to go back to how they were when Emilie was alive but there’s no easy fix and his father keeps on getting worse and worse after any attempt.

loml: A song for Marinette with a bittersweet air - she’s the love of his life but he can’t tell her everything, and she can’t tell him everything either

ICDIWaBH: CatWalker centric - him going back to Ladybug in Kuroneko.

TSMWEL: I actually have three for this one - 1. About Gabriel and his need to domineer because he feels small and powerless. 2. About Adrien feeling small and insignificant. 3.About Plagg because he’s a smol boi (it would be like a lighthearted, cheeky song, like when you sing to your pet about how adorable they are)

The Cataclysm: Literally about how he cataclysmed Monarch, but also about how the event impacted his perception of self.

Adrien Agreste: Ending the album with a song that’s his own name :o.

Now for the variants:

The Black Cat: This one has Chat on the cover and the song is mostly about his bad luck. ‘I Love You It’s Ruining My Life” works both directed at Ladybug and his father.

Solitude: With Chat Blanc on the cover, this one’s about his mother. I think the “You Don’t Get To Tell Me About Sad” is pretty self-explanatory.

Doppelgänger: CatWalker is on this one, his song would be about how he may literally be the same person but he doesn’t fully feel like himself. He had to repress a lot of himself to be CatWalker hence I thought “Am I Allowed To Cry?” fit him really well (especially with Plagg not giving him the time to fully recover before he had to jump back in). Please note the crossed out name (unlike Chat Blanc) because he’s reinventing himself.

Tell-Tail Heart: This one has Ladybug on the cover - wait she’s not a Catboy?? The song is titled “Tell-Tail Heart” as a reference to Edgar Allan Poe’s “Tell Tale Heart” and would explore Chat’s perspective of Ladybug’s guilt for keeping secrets, how any excuse she makes is ultimately unimportant because she would do it either way. The fact that this is the only song title with a pun references how Chat tries to lighten the mood and avoid serious conversations, and the “Tail” is supposed to refer to Rena Rouge. The flowers she’s holding are meant to be foxgloves which symbolise secrets and insincerity (they’re also poisonous and damage the heart :)). I also really liked the “Old Habits Die Screaming” for her as it could mean both Chat Noir’s love for her being an old habit that he cannot get rid of, but also her habit of keeping things from him (especially with how she does it again at the end of season 5) being something she can’t stop. It is also him being able to see that, despite what she tells him, her “Heart” is tells him otherwise.

(also would like to point out that he wouldn’t mention Rena by name, he’s upset, not evil)

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml season 5 #adrien agreste #chat noir #chat blanc #cat walker #patte de velours #ml ladybug #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ts ttpd #ml fanart #ok so at first I wanted to do these with maribug but then I started trying to come up with alternative names and it dawned on me #she’s still on the last cover though <3 #the tortured Catboy department #inspiration hit me like a truck like I can almost hear the songs

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wangxianficfinder · 4 months ago

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I'm in the mood for...

July 31st

~*~

1. Hii I'm kinda new here but if you can help me it would be awesome!! So basically, I don't know if there really a fic like that exactly, but anything close is great. I'm looking for a fic where lan zhan locks wei ying (probably in the cloud recesses), and for some reason, wei ying can't see/has eye cover. The idea is based on the scene where lan zhan says he wants to take someone (wei ying) and hide this someone. Thanks a lot😁 @untamedlover

A Way Out by pinkquilts (E, 143k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Living Together, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, First Love, Locked In, Major Character Injury, Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Tension, Drunken Shenanigans, WWX misinterprets literally everything, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut, Fix-It, Injury) Lan Zhan takes an unconscious Wei Ying back to Gusu and locks him in a warded cottage in A Way Out so it's close to the request but not quite what they ideally wanted.

~*~

2. Hi! I would love recommendations for Wei Wuxian/Nie Mingjue if anyone has any! I loved “Better Things To Do With A Flute In Wartime” for the sexy times but mainly for the feeling like Nie Mingjue recognized that Wei Wuxian was more than just a troublemaker, he saw that Wei Wuxian was a strong, capable, smart man. Would love any recs people have for this duo! Thank you!

An Elegant Solution by giraffeter (E, 205k, niewangxian, canon divergence, arranged marriage, friends to lovers, fix-it, everyone lives au, courtship, polyamory, smut) unfortunately I don't have any nmj/wwx, it's nmj/wwx/lwj but I found the fic very enjoyable!

I’ll grow you a garden (in my fortress of stone) by Lyna_Mei (M, 16k, WIP, MingXian, Canon Divergence, CQL-Verse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Cultivation Sect Politics, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Child Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, JYL is Not Angelic, No MY redemption, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Slow Burn, Age Difference, Sporadic Updates)

When Night Falls by aspiratixxn (M, 28k, MingXian, canon-divergent, depictions of war, mild nudity, Slow Burn)

~*~

3. hi there. this is an itmf request for baoshan sanren coming down from her mountain and claiming wwx as her grandson/disciple. in front of gentry would be great, but other instances are also welcome. thanks for all your hard work!

Become Tomorrow by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 39k, wangxian, BSSR/LY, Alternate Universe, a story full of tragic pining gays, and one chaotic gremlin, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, WWX is BSSR’s disciple)

Can't Tell Me Nothin by natacup82 (T, 35k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Family Feels, Communication, BAMF Women)

🧡 Ghosts Shouldn’t by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 15k, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🔒Through the Storm by marhikit (T, 33k, WangXian, WX/OMC, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Not Jiang Family Friendly, WWX gets big siblings that love and adore him, JZX ends up with someone different, No Golden Core Transfer, Creepy JGS, JZX & WWX Friendship, WWX in a different sect)

~*~

4. Hi!! 👋🥰

It's me! I'm on vacation finally, I missed you all so much, but I couldn't read fanfics during my exams (it's too distracting). But now I'm free again, so I'm here to ask a ITMF! Yey!

Lately I'd like to read fanfics in which:

A) LQ discover about the absence of WWX's core and decides to help WWX and the Wens. And bring all of them to Gusu.

B) LQ discover about the abuse of Madam Yu and decides that WWX will stay in Gusu. (I love when this happens during the Cloud Recesses Study Arc, but it's ok if this happens in other moment).

I like happy endings, and I prefer when the good people live (Wens, JY, JC...) and only bad people dies. Long fics if it's possible, but shorts are ok too. No modern fics.

Thank you for everything! ��🥰💕 @wangxiansgirl

4A)

Righteous at a Cost by thunderwear (G, 21k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, no one dies, LQR finds out about WWX’s core, WWX and LQR are friends??, In My Fic?, its more likely than you think, LWJ in the bg like whats happening?, Fluff, WWX goes to Gusu, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal)

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ's emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) Not quite the request, since it's LXC who ends up inviting WWX & the Wens to come to CR, but iirc LQR grudgingly agrees the Wens need help & can stay? So may be close enough to scratch that itch

Discordant Rhapsody by nirejseki (T, 49k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, JC & WWX, WQ & WWX & WN, LWJ & LQR & LXC, canon divergence, fix-it, hurt/comfort, trauma, politics, protective LQR, protective LWJ, protective WWX, LQR centric, whump, angst) 4a similar. It's been a while since I read the fic so I don't remember if there's an eventually Golden Core reveal, but it's not the reason LQR has for inviting WWX and the Wen to the Cloud Recesses. But hopefully this is similar enough that the requester will enjoy it anyway.

No Strings Attached by stiltonbasket (G, 3k, WangXian, NieLan,Canon Divergence, Fix-It, LQR is a good uncle, Smitten LWJ, Golden Core Reveal)

Righteous and Devoted by thunderwear (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Golden Core Reveal, LWJ's POV, Barely Any Pining, thanks lqr, Fluff, lots of fluff, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

4B)

Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing)

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

💙 Holding shreds by barisan (T, 5k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, No Sunshot Campaign, Body Swap, Not for sexy shenanigans, Chronic Pain, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiāng Family Bashing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together, Smart WWX)

🔒 Warming up (to him) by barisan (T, 9k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, Hypothermia, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Temporary Character Death, Medical Inaccuracies, YZY Abuses WWX, JFM Bashing, pre-wangxian, Good Uncle LQR, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

5. Hello everyone! I am on the search for case fics which are spooky and creepy! The kind of thing you would want to read to set the mood for Halloween, but it is actually July and thunderstorming and the wind is howling and you want to curl up with a scary story and a cat on your lap. Preferably everyone lives in the end, but I am down for angst or temporary character death in the in between. Thank you!!

You are what you eat by deliciousblizzardshark (E, 17k, WangXian, Graphic Depiction of Violence, Major Character Death, Canon Divergence, Eldritch WWX, Horny LWJ, Body Horror, Possession, of a sort, Cannibalism, kind of, Mild Gore, Teeth, When the eldritch abomination possessing you is less of a pining idiot than you are, I did not expect there to be so much fluff when I started writing a fic about an eldrich horror, Fluff and Humor, Smut, LWJ is so fucking thirsty, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Monster sex, Switching, Light BDSM, Rimming, Self-Lubrication, Seriousness treated Crackily, Implied/Referenced Torture, Dead WWX, Podfic Available) Eldritch horror!WWX

build me no shrines by occultings (microcomets) (M, 54k, WangXian, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, First Time, Getting Together, Confessions, Sharing a Bed, Hair Washing, Sentient Burial Mounds, Case Fic, Post-Canon, CQL Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Light Angst, Flashbacks, mild body horror, foot washing, Happy Ending, Non-Sexual Intimacy..., then sexual intimacy, playing fast and loose with mdzs lore, WWX learning to accept intimacy without deflection, occasional LWJ humor agenda, 🔒 [Podfic] build me no shrines by flamingwell)

in your skin by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Horror, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Non-Consensual Body Modification, kinda??, Reflections over death and self-worth, mentions of canon suicide, Near Death Experiences, 🔒 [Podfic] in your skin by flamingwell)

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie (E, 68k, WangXian, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror, [Podfic] 爱不释手; never let me go by argentumlupine)

lan wangji sees dead people by mountainrain898

~*~

6. Hi, I'm ITMF a fic where; (a) teenage wangxian meets adult wangxian maybe during cloud recess study arc and older wangxian time travel on purpose or accidentally and find themselves itn cloud recess (or something similar) (b) the other sects gather to plot against wei ying and they spy on burial mounds or find a way to view wei ying's memories (similar plot to seek and ye shall find) (c) do you know any au's where wangxian are professional gamers or play gaming competitions. @purplefuzzypickle

6A)

River Stones by littlesystems (M, 18k, WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study arc, Junior Quartet, Oblivious WWX, Suffering LWJ, Voyeurism)

How did I end up with this Frozen Heart? by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (T, 53k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It, PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, YP!WWX, twin prides of yunmeng are horrified at the relationship between their future selves, YP!WWX has short hair, Canon Divergence, Self-Indulgent, wangxian get together early, Songfic, JC Bashing, LXC Bashing)

Timely by apathyinreverie (T, 8k, WangXian, Time Travel, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, Fix-It, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Mutual Pining, wwx is sunshine personified, Smitten LWJ, Genius WWX, Romance) I'll also throw in Timely which just has Lan Wangji's spirit traveling from his teen years to when he's married to Wei Wuxian.

6B)

💖 The Path by Seastar98 (Not Rated, 279k, WangXian, CQL Verse, Golden core reveal, Fix-it of sorts, Angst with a happy ending)

6C)

simping for hanguang-jun by defractum (nyargles) (T, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, YouTubers WangXian, Fluff, Among us game, Streamer AU)

~*~

7. Hello, could you please recommend works where WY and LZ meet for the first time when they are older. For example over 30.

Thank you!

The Fault in Our Stars by Vamillepudding (T, 17k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Romantic Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Misunderstandings, the title makes it sound like a cancer story, it's not a cancer story)

International Baby by AceBij (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pilot!LWJ, CFO!LWJ, Regional Manager!WWX, CEO!LXC, CEO!JC, CFO!JYL, Secretary!WQ, Meet-Cute, baby!A-Yuan, baby!JL Mpreg, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Carrier!WWX, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mild Hurt/Comfort, WWX's canonical breeding kink, LWJ's Canonical Breed WWX Kink, Communication, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, It's only at the start and will not go into much detail, Love confessions)

Deep Dive by MimiSpearmint (E, 24k, WangXian, Modern AU, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, Are Bad at Communicating, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Therapy, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Career Ending Injuries, counsellor!lwj, give lwj friends agenda, background NieLan, Melbourne, Eventual Smut, Crack, Baby JL, domestic abuse is discussed but does not happen, Baby LSZ, Baby LJY, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Good Sex Practices, Implied Slight D/s, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, Cameos by various minor characters)

Breathless by tiptoe39 (E, 69k, WangXian, Fashion & Models, Modeling, Getting Together, drunk lwj, Cranky LWJ, Model!LWJ, stylist!wwx, Happy Ending, WangXian Endgame, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst and then fluff again, Mustache-Twirling Villainy Just Off Camera, JYL Deals With So Much Brother Shit, LWJ Is Working Through His Own Shit, WWX is WWX, LWJ's Bunny Obsession, MianMian Is In Charge of Shoes, JC's Issues Have Issues)

不屈从于天 | not submitting to fate by starborst (E, 20k, WIP, WangXian, BAMF WWX, God!wwx, dream of red tower, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, but loosely based, there's a lot of oc characters & gods, Character Death, time skip, from when wwx was dead and also a god, lots of landscape description, it'll be really really slow paced) Technically it's god!WWX meeting reincarnated!LWJ bit if it's just about their relationship then this might fit! LWJ shows up at the end of chapter 3 and chapter 4 is basically just about their interactions in different situations. Might also fit for #10, seeing as LWJ is a reincarnation (I asked to make sure)

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 316k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX's Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian's Baby Fever) I can't remember how old Wei Ying & Lan Zhan are in We Meet at the Thousandth Step but I'm quite certain they're at least in their mid- to late-20s when they meet.

~*~

8. itmf a wangxian fic where Jin Guangyao is forced to apologize to Lan Xichen for tricking into helping with Nie Mingjue's murder. Preferably a fic where wangxian comfort him afterwards. Any lxc ship is OK (xicheng, nielan, xiyao), I just want Lan Xichen to get a proper apology and for jgy to acknowledge how truly messed up it was and accept responsibility for being an asshole to poor lxc (and nmj tbh)

~*~

9. Hello! For your next ITMF, could you find me some baby trapping fics please? Whether LWJ traps WWX or WWX traps him 🤗

(and I'd love you forever if you manage to find a fic where Lan Qiren think Wwx is baby trapping his precious cabbage and either it's all Part of LWJ's Plan or the baby was a mutual decision from the both of them)

Thank you!!

truly a love story for the ages by sweetlolixo (E, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Dark!Wangxian, Power Couple, Happy Wangxian Ending, slight daddy kink, Humor, Crack, Pregnant WWX) Of course I gotta rec the mutual baby trapping fic

~*~

10. Do you have a comp fic of reincarnation? If not can you make this for next ITMF? (No comp as of yet though it is on the list! ~Mod L)

不屈从于天 | not submitting to fate by starborst (E, 20k, WIP, WangXian, BAMF WWX, God!wwx, dream of red tower, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, but loosely based, there's a lot of oc characters & gods, Character Death, time skip, from when wwx was dead and also a god, lots of landscape description, it'll be really really slow paced) (link in #7) Technically it's god!WWX meeting reincarnated!LWJ bit if it's just about their relationship then this might fit! LWJ shows up at the end of chapter 3 and chapter 4 is basically just about their interactions in different situations.

the recluse at the end of the moonlit path by beesinspades (T, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, Post-Canon, Jack of All Trades Artist WWX, Immortal! LWJ, Mutual Pining, Light Angst, Reunions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Asexual Character, good vibes, [Podfic] the recluse at the end of the moonlit path by b_ofdale by Beria1021)

🧡 We Were Never Strangers by NeverEnoughWangxian (M, 36k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, Modern Cultivators, POV WWX, (mostly), College Student WWX, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Immortal LWJ, Immortal LSZ, Dreams, Pining, Sharing a Bed, brief mentions of wwx's past death(s), WangXian.mp3, Getting Together, I guess getting back together technically, Happy Ending, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content)

🧡 All Old Things are New Again by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (M, 51k, WangXian, Reincarnation, Modern AU, canon still happened, extreme post canon, Sugar Daddy, Kink Negotiation, gentle dom!LWJ, canonical levels of consent play, Modern Cultivators, cultivators can recognize important people from previous lives, vaguely, this started out as a cute sugar fantasy and got just incredibly horny very fast, blame LWJ)

忘不了你的爱 (can't forget your love) by PorcupineGirl (G, 25k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, a whole lot of handwaving, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending)

Closer Than Eternity by Netrixie (T, 26k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, an unhealthy addiction to starbucks, Immortals, cultivation is -kinda- commonplace, Self-Doubt, POV Alternating, Minor Original Character(s), Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, not for jc fans, This is not a reconciliation fic)

Have We Met Before by thelastdboy (T, 7k, WangXian, POV WWX, Modern: No Powers, First Meetings, College/University, Reincarnation, Strangers to Lovers, Slow Burn, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Love Confessions, First Kiss, CSSR and WCZ Live, WWX Has a Family, Older Sibling WWX, Queer Themes, Demisexual WWX, Parent-Child Relationship, Friendship, Heteronormativity, Pining WWX, Fluff, Madam Lan Lives)

living in my memory/living in my mouth by tardigradeschool (T, 32k, WangXian, Reincarnation, Canon Divergence, College/University, Modern with Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Nightmares, Light Angst, Epistolary, (sort of), POV Alternating, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers)

~*~

11. hi everyone! I am looking for modern cultivation aus where, this may sound redundant but ya know, cultivation is used in tandem with modern living. For example, I really liked in “The Shade of Old Trees” by Kryal how WWX used his cultivation to do sick tricks on a skateboard. Or in "Truth Will Out" by KizuKatana how the night hunts were filmed and uploaded to an internet forum. So yeah! Cultivation working with modern things, cool magic in tandem with modern science and tech. thanks tlm!!

speeding up my heartbeat by plonk (Not Rated, 24k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Gyms) has cultivation specific gyms and sports, with WWX doing cultivator level parkour

🧡🔒Night of the Living History (an edutainment special!) by Aerlalaith (T, 51k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Workplace Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Museums, living history, Some Plot, Slice of Life, Injury, a minor haunting) has cultivation working (or not, as the case may be!) alongside modern tech

A Different Yarn by donutsweeper (T, 1k, WangXian, Urban Fantasy, Yarn store AU, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivation) it's really short but in it knitting and crochet is used for talismans

Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, wangxian, modern cultivation, academia au, music, kid fic, action/adventure, canon-typical violence, canon-typical JGY behavior, slow burn, fluff & angst, happy ending) has modern cultivation history researcher LZ and municipal cultivation employee WWX working within (or not, on occasion!) modern day cultivation rules, laws, and customs

and so my heart beats wildly by lily_winterwood (E, 106k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, Modern Cultivation, Rivalry, Competition, Competition-Set Fic, Athletes, Multimedia, Miscommunication, frenemies to lovers, Rivals to Lovers, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Seemingly One-sided But Actually Mutual Pining, Oblivious WWX, Competitive Cultivation, Anal Sex, First Time, Angst with a Happy Ending, Olympics, Inappropriate use of an Olympic gold medal, Breathplay, Rough Sex, Food Porn, Tanabata, Lily's back on her Qixi bullshit, Switching, Bottom LWJ) has cultivation Olympics

~*~

12. Hi all! Im in the mood for Jiang yanli bashing! I want her to also be angry and entitled like Jiang Cheng and then get, well, bashed for it!

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) I wouldn't say she's angry, but she very much expects WWX to be a doormat for the sake of keeping things how she is used to them being

Hua Xianle by Tiffany_Guinne (Not rated, 260k, hualian, wangxian, TGCF, canon divergence, not Jiang friendly, madam lan lives, WWX adopted by hualian, WWX with different name, overprotective hualian, hurt WWX, WIP) crossover with TGCF, Hualian raises WWX, plenty of Jiang bashing all around

~*~

13. for the in the mood for, may i have your most gutwrenching jiang cheng & wei wuxian sibling hurt/comfort please. preferably with reconciliation. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

ransom by alessandriana (G, 3k, JC & WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Dizziness, Fainting, Character is Injured while Protecting Another, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Yunmeng reconciliation, [PODFIC] ransom by Gwogobo)

love lies beyond words by acrosticacrumpet (G, 4k, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Whump, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, canon-typical dysfunctional relationships, Yunmeng Shuangjie Reconciliation, not a completed reconciliation but the beginning of one, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, Self-Worth Issues, WWX's notoriously poor self-worth vs JC's legendary rejection sensitivity: FIGHT, painful conversations with a tasteful smidgeon of, Cuddling & Snuggling)

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club)

JC and WWX's Get Along Sweater series by newamsterdam (T, 29k, JC & WWX, Trapped In A Closet, Cultivation as Plot Device, Reconciliation, Miscommunication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Novel Spoilers, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Night Hunting, Ghosts, Action/Adventure, Brotherly Love, Complicated Relationships, Yunmeng Shuangjie)

In The Dark Right Now by phnelt (T, 10k, WangXian, graphic depictions of injuries, trapped in a cave, Near Death Experience, fatalistic thinking, established wangxian, Family Feels, mention of unnamed illness of an offscreen character, Nobody dies in this fic, Alternate Universe - Modern AU, jc and wwx are caved in and lan zhan talks to them through the radio, Hurt/Comfort) if modern AU is acceptable

~*~

14. For the next itmf, can you please recommend to me some fics where Jiang Cheng raises both Jin Ling and Wen Yuan . Preferably where both or at least A-yuan knows his father is Wei Wuxian

What Remains After the War by Swan_Song (T, 44k, JC & JL, JC & LSZ, JL & LSZ, WIP, Canon Divergence, LSZ is a Jiang, Good Uncle JC, Cousins JL & LSZ, JC Needs a Hug, JC Needs Therapy, The juniors solve a mystery, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Good Uncle LQR, he tries his best, LSZ Needs a Hug)

~*~

15. itmf fics where instead of lan xichen, lan wangji becomes sect leader/king/emperor/etc. With happy ending for wangxian! Any length and rating works and if there's smut, can I get top plan wangji please? And nothing where lan wangji is with someone else romantically/sexually even for a bit in the course of the fic I don't have any other triggers/squicks!

The Wrong Man by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, WIP, Sect Leader LWJ, Evil JGS, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal) Not exactly LWJ becoming sect leader *instead of* LXC, but does have LXC getting killed off in chapter 1, & LWJ becoming sect leader & instituting sweeping reforms. Still a WIP but the main story is over & is a happy ending (WWX is actually alive in this, so no having to wait for resurrection)

I Am Happy I Met You by Bhargavee00 (Not Rated, 34k, WIP, WangXian, Get a Happy Ending, Sect Leader LWJ, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Dragon LWJ, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Madam Lan Lives, Minor Madam Lan/Qingheng-jun, Qingheng-jun, Lives, Dark LWJ, Protective LWJ, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Protective LXC, Protective LQR, Good Uncle LQR, WangXian Are Soulmates, WWX Goes to Gusu, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, Jiang Family Bashing, LWJ is So Whipped, Older LWJ, Good Older Sibling LXC, Sunshot Campaign, No Golden Core Transfer, WWX is a Lan, WWX is So Whipped)

The Straightest Path by meyari (T, 30k, WangXian, NieLan, MingLi, ChengSang, war and death, Grief/Mourning, Politics, plotting for neuroatypicals, Autistic LWJ, WWX Has ADHD, Non-Canon Relationship, No Yīn Iron, Sect Leader LWJ) LXC and LQR die leaving Lan Zhan to becoming Sect Leader

🧡 Discarded by teawater (E, 260k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dying Lan children, Hurt/Comfort, YL WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, and it's not always dark, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ)

golden when the day met the night by glitteringmoonlight (Not rated, 95k, slow burn, sugar daddy LWJ, light, angst, fluff, developing relationship, eventual smut, WIP)

Temptation by Karmiya (E, 23k, WangXian, JYL & WWX, WIP, Sect Leader LWJ, domestic abuse) LXC dies after the Sunshot Campaign and LZ becomes Sect Leader

~*~

16. Hii!! does this count as an itmf? if anyone knows a fic where LZ gets married or bethroted during the thirteen years but then WY comes back anything like that ?? if it doesnt it definitely should ill take anything similar tho @yesibest

patching the road with vague intentions by loosingletters (T, 39k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Humor, Developing Friendships, WWX Resurrected By Others, Trans WWX, Case Fic, POV WWX, POV LQR, Family, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Violence, MXY Lives) To be fair, LWJs wife is the one who summons WWX into her body so it might not fully fit

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX) For 16, if what you're looking for is wangxian struggle with their feelings for each other post ressurection while lwj is already commited to someone else, you might like Love Song in Reverse where WY comes back but without his memories so he believes he's MXY and he and LZ navigate their feelings while LZ is still commited to his feelings for WY.

~*~

17. for the next itmf what about a fic from when lwj and jc are searching for wwx when he was in the burial mounds

in our respective ways by Lise (T, 5k, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, Missing Scene, Bonding, (sort of??), POV JC, Canon Compliant, that brief period of time when lwj and jc were solidly on the same page, JC's jealousy could be a third character, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, Brothers, Canon Era, Not Friends to Still Not Friends, canon typical abuse of pows)

waiting, shivering by kornevable (T, 2k, JC & WWX, Introspection, Missing Scene, background wangxian)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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ladyloveroll · 4 months ago

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(These are my ACTUAL notes from my friends birthday party full of people who absolutely did not know who the fuck Itachi and Kisame were or how pairing names work or what a ship is.)

Writing kisaita (on and off) for 15 years

Never get tired of the ship

Excellent, friendly people in the fandom to keep making content (Cynni)

Presentation is less about the specific ship and more about the general qualities that make their ship S-tier. You may find this echoed in your own OTP, IDK.

Powerful, badass characters who can kick anyones asses no problem, as depicted where they are casually taking a stroll after Kisame (who still has his little fo-hawk) casually takes down the four-tails

Kisame is noted as the ‘tail-less jinchuuriki’

Itachi is clearly a fucking powerhouse, we don’t need to debate that

Working with strong characters means you are more easily able to portray their weakness and explore that side of them since that rarely gets screentime

Auxiliary, not main characters

Main characters are harder to write because they spend a lot of screen time accomplishing their goal and doing Plot

Auxiliary characters are more malleable, and morally gray ones especially so

Depicted here are Itachi and Kisame, separately, being ordered by their villages to kill their own people. They carry this order out, but do not particularly like it. Nor are they particularly loyal to their own villages, despite carrying this order out. It’s hard to say where their loyalities lie.

The answer is WITH EACH OTHER OBVIOUSLY

Any ship that has a timeskip has LOADS of canon-verse material you can work with, especially if it feels like the characters have changed or their dynamic has changed.

For Naruto especially, WTF are Kisame and Itachi doing for three years? Clearly neither of them are out capturing jinchuriki. They aren’t seen lounging around Amegakure or Akatsuki headquarters. They are just traveling the world. Probably doing hits. Probably hitting on EACH OTHER WOOOOOO

Long time skips mean a few thing: 1) Canon divergence, 2) Canon compliant, 3) pre-time skip, 4) during time skip, 5) post time-skip; and that’s not even the AU��s

They clearly haven’t made any other friends during this time either so lots of relationship to explore

The Naruto franchise is notorious for retconning. Probably because Kishimoto (the writer) was pushed to create at a pace that was impossible for any sane or healthy man to keep up with.

Fanficition writers can take advantage of this poor writing by interpreting the character in a lot more ways than if the character was solidly written.

There are a lot of different ways Kisame is written, and accepted as so

Itachi less so but we don’t have time for that

Retconning allows you to take a writers mistake and turn it into utter brainrot that ten other people (me) will reblog every 3 years

This one is kind of specific, but if you like angst then OH BOY this ship has a lot of potential for it

Any OTP that involves an angsty edgelord and a sadistic tagalong can indulge in either EXTRA ANGST and be able to balance out the angst with humor

The KisaIta ship has 4 great themes about it:

Redemption

Acceptance

Forgiveness

And Existentialism of course

Dynamic:

Sharkboy / lava girl

Edgelord / goof

Leader / follower

Maybe old? / a touch too young

Respect for each other

S-tier OTP because of strong themes and repeatable dynamics

Kinkfest here we come

S-tier OTPs must be able to withstand an intense variety of smut writing

Powerful level = able to handle pain and dish out pain

Body things? = more positions

The Shape of Water was one of the single best thing to happen to the KisaIta 18+ fics because (even though it existed before the movie came out) a lot more readers were into it now

Also, Kisame makes this ship work more than Itachi. He is fucking DEVOTED

at this point I was running out of my 10-minutes (THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO PUT ME ON A TIMER) so i just backfilled the rest of the presentation with fanart and memes i like

Why do I like KisaIta?

I mostly write smut

They’re great at smut

I also like angst

They’re always great for angst, either character

Also look at them they are hot AF

Beefcake service-top vs. ‘shaped like a katana’ masochist

Healthy dose of hurt-comfort

They’re extremely flexible to write and so there’s a lot of stories you can create

thank you for not reporting me to the powerpoint police

#naruto #uchiha itachi #hoshigaki kisame #kisaita #itachi #kisame #naruto meme #despite the fact i've only been writing kisakonan for the past four years #i still have loads of old kisaita and unpublished kisaita sitting in the bank #RIP my old FFN account

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wood-white-writer · 1 year ago

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"Didn't mean to make your heart Blue" || [4/...]

- OPLA!Buggy x F!Reader

"I think my brain is rotting in places, I think my heart is ready to die, I think my body's falling in pieces, I think my blood is passing me by."

— Mitski, "Brand New City"

Pairing: Buggy the Clown (Live action) x F!Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5 | Part 6

Summary: You were an apprentice of Gol D. Roger’s crew in your youth, long before his eventual demise. Along with the Red-Haired Shanks and Buggy, you were a formidable trio; the embodiment of a new generation of pirates yet to come. But times changed, and so did you and your friends. Years have passed since you last saw Buggy following the dispute that you thought ended your friendship. When you finally reunite with the blue-haired menace you once considered your closest friend, it’s under less than “friendly” circumstances.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, LA!Verse, Buggy is a lonely asshole, "Cross-Hairs"/reader is a lonely asshole too, flashbacks, semi-canon divergence, Reader is strong AF, a mixture of both the Reader's and Buggy's POVs, angst

A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than usual with only 2.2k words... Sorry.

Taglist:@kurinhimenezu, @carpinchootaku, @ay0nha, @teh-vampire-bunny, @lokiscure, @internationalsuper-spy, @detectivesparrow (If you want to be tagged for this story, just send me a message or leave a comment :))

You’re like a savage beast when you’re fighting, Buggy admits to himself in awe as he watches you tear through your opponents one by one with substantially more strength than anyone thought your body capable of.

But Buggy's not just anybody. He's always known that your body is of a special sort, an Iron Maiden encompassed by skin, flesh, veins, arteries, and ligaments; capable of bringing ruin to anyone and anything if only you have reason enough. Chains can't hold you, nor can any power on this earth.

He relishes in it.

You have your sword and your pistol both disposable at the belt on your hip, but you seem to have no interest in wielding them for the battle. No, your body is a weapon on its own; a blade cutting through people like grass straws on a narrow field.

It’s during times like these — when he gets to watch your strength from the front rows — that he wonders whether you’ve eaten a Devil Fruit of your own at some point, but that can't be. He’s seen you swim.

You, him, and Shanks had been simply traveling through the town where the Oro Jackson was docked, minding your own business when a group of rival pirates suddenly ambushed you. Thinking they easily could kidnap the apprentices of the famous Gol D. Roger and demand ransom, the shidiots would quickly come to realize that they made a mistake.

A very costly one at that. One they will be sure not to repeat.

Whereas he and Shanks stand partnered together against a few of the rival group, you are holding your own quite well from the other side of the fight. He swears he saw one of the men flying over him at some point, though it might’ve just been a trick of the adrenaline.

Kicking one of the larger pirates straight in the balls with his lower body severed from the rest, he turns his upper body to catch a glimpse of you in case you need help.

What he sees instead is a flash of the sun reflecting in your eyes as you pounce at your prey, casting a yellow line in the air that reminds him of lightning about to strike the ground. Everything around him seems to cease mid-motion save for you. There is no fighting going on, no shouting, no Shanks telling him to take cover from an incoming blow.

All he sees is you, and all he hears is his own voice telling him: "Gods, you’re fucking marvelous."

The last thing he hears is Shanks shouting his name before the world begins to darken around him, and the last thing he sees is lightning making its way toward him, destroying everything in its path to get to him.

He wonders drowsily if it's going to strike him too.

———

The fight that ensues reminds you of the battles you partook in during your years as Captain. The chaos in it all. The carnage. The general inability to think properly as you fight. Of course, your opponents back then lacked Buggy's uncanny ability to split up into multiple parts while still alive, but it doesn't stop you.

Nothing on this earth can.

Blades are thrown, skin is cut, and by the time you get close enough to reach him, a number of props have scattered to pieces in the midst of your warfare. It seems like an endless battle trying to defeat him, just get him to fucking stay still.

Just as you reach for Buggy's chest with your nails reached out to claw at his vest, his midsection separates and all you're left with is air. Just empty air.

He cackles as he puts himself back a few good feet from where you're standing. "C'mon! Put your back into it! It's like you're not even tryin—!"

In a flash, your face is hairsbreadths away from his, and it feels like everything around him stops.

At that moment, he realizes that the golden color of the sun has not left your eyes. Only to find that, upon closer inspection, it's not the color of the sun that he's met with.

It's thunder, and it strikes hard.

Before he has the chance to blink, the next thing he knows is the feeling of a boulder being pushed against his stomach. Not a sound leaves his throat save for a guttural groan, and he finds himself on the ground before he knows it with stars adorning the edges of his vision.

Gods, he thinks while in a state of both pain and exhausted satisfaction, your face a blurred canvas in his eyes. You’re so fucking marvelous.

By the time Nami and Zoro debut to join the battle, you have already pinned Buggy to the ground with your legs planted firmly on each side of his hips, and a bruising grip around his neck as you press your forearm down onto it. Not enough to cut his flow of oxygen, but enough so that he doesn't have the capacity to move unless he splits.

His face, the very same face you used to paint when you were younger, looks up at you with nothing short of manic glee. He doesn't even divide himself up to get free this time. It's almost like merely connecting to him, even during an act of violence such as this, is enough to keep him entertained. Happy, you dare think.

You find those sea-blue eyes looking up at you, and before you try and strike the finishing blow, you hesitate. You fuckinghesitate, because when it all comes down to it, you can't find it in yourself to kill him.

The legendary Captain of the Cross-Haired Pirates, the executioner of a thousand marines and other pirates, can't kill something this time.

You can't kill him. You can't kill those ocean-blue eyes, even when your body yearns to see through with what you promised. You always stick to your promises, but for the first time in forever, you don't. You can't.

Not him.

Never him.

Meanwhile, Buggy can't help examining you like you're the most fascinating creature he's ever laid his eyes on, because you are. Even after all this time, he's still as drawn to the fire in your eyes that as he was all those years ago. It's a feeling he can never hope to extinguish.

Nor does he want to.

Being the jester that he is, however, he takes the moment to his advantage. This one, vulnerable moment. It's not out of pettiness, but survival. Nothing personal.

He separates his femur and exploits the momentum to knock you off him. He can tell you're surprised as you position yourself on your knees and hands, yet it only takes you a ghost of a moment to recover.

The fire is back in your eyes, a thousand times brighter this time, and the fight continues.

Now, neither of you holds back, and he becomes first-hand acquainted with just how ruthless truly you can be. When there is nothing keeping you down.

Truth be told, it excites him. Very much so.

He has the Bounty Hunter and the Tangerine-haired girl hot on his tail, but he hardly provides them a medium of his attention. You're the only thing he can't take his eyes off.

"NAMI! THE CRATES!"

And that's where the entire play gradually comes to an end. Maybe it's what pisses him off the most?

You stalk after his separated body parts like a hunter after a flock of deer, throwing them into the crates as the rest of your companions follow suit. Whereas Nami and Zoro are strategic with their actions, complementing each other, you're acting on pure, unadulterated wrath.

You do not have Luffy's stretchy capabilities, Zoro's precision, or Nami's diligence.

What you have is something far, far deadlier.

It's twenty years of pent-up heartache.

Catching pieces of him is much easier than catching all of him.

This is what it's come to, with you and him fighting; with you and him having different goals. It's not the future you envisioned for yourself at all. In fact, it's the exact opposite. If you knew then what you know now, you would've ...

Once, it was you and him together against the rest of the world. Now, it's you against him, against the rest of the world.

You can feel your eyes threaten to sting as you catch his femur and throw it in an open box that promptly shuts, but like with everything else, you push it down. You push it until all that remains is the vague ache.

It doesn't matter, you tell yourself. This is what it will stay like.

In the end, all of his body parts save for his head, hands, and feet are spared from the confinement of the containers, and when he melds them together to a pathetically small version of his usual self, you can't help but address the irony of the situation.

"What have you done to me?!" Buggy cries.

Luffy grins as he caresses his beloved hat, having suffered the most injuries. "Cut you down to size."

Buggy looks as small as you felt that day. Helpless. Pathetic. Reduced to almost nothing.

Still, it's not a moment that brings you any happiness. Not any victory, or satisfaction. You don't even have the urge to gloat.

All it brings you, as you tower over him from the side, is nothingness.

You're tempted to kick him, and you almost do. You take a step closer to him, a river of anger rushing through your veins. With nowhere else to go, it circles.

"The One Piece will never be yours!" Buggy yells and flaps his hands, too focused on Luffy to notice you calmly stalking toward him from the dark. "You're just a sad, lonely little boy, wearing another man's hat!"

It’s Shanks’s hat, you want to scream. Our friend’s hat. Don’t you remember?

Luffy's words don't register with you as you kneel in front of the shortened clown, nor do Nami's questions or Zoro's inquisitive eyes. It all tunes out into the background as you raise your hand slowly to Buggy, and you think about how easy it will be. It will be so easy to end it now. He's weak, he's practically defenseless. There's nothing to stop you now.

Buggy simply stares when he notices you, his mouth slightly parted in what you can only perceive as surprise and ... disbelief? You take one final look at his face, the same face you used to paint long ago, and you briefly wonder how many layers of white, red, and blue separate this one from the touches you applied years ago.

Is there still some residue left? Any fingerprint? Does anything from you still linger with him, or did he try to scrub your touches off his face the same way he tried to scrub you from his life altogether?

Buggy is completely still as your outstretched fingers close in on him, and he thinks that this is it. Now's the moment when you will make good on your threats, where you'll finally kill him. Truth be told, it's a less-than-satisfactory way to go, but surprisingly enough, it doesn't bother him half as much as he expected it would.

Maybe it's because, after all this time, it's still you until the end? You and him, like it was always meant to be.

He closes his eyes with a sigh and finds that the edge of his lip tilts a little up. "Go for it," he says, awaiting the moment when your calloused fingers grip him. He can anticipate your nails clawing at his scalp, tearing the skin of his cranium, digging until there is nothing left to tear at.

Devil Fruit or not, you're the only one he'll let end him like this.

Except, you don't.

All he feels are your fingertips gently grazing the sides of his cheek, so uncharacteristically soft against his thin stubbles that he could've mistaken it for air brushing his face.

The same hands he knows capable of such great feats of violence and brutality, the same ones who had just fought against him with enough strength to match a beast, are touching him like he's made of glass.

He snaps his eyes open, and when he meets your gaze, he's surprised to find them ... empty. Hollow.

The sun is gone, and so is the thunder. Now, there are only clouds in his view.

"Goodbye, Buggy." Your voice is so tranquil that he strains to hear it, and before he gets to, you stand up again and turn your back to him. "He's all yours, Luffy."

No, no! He tries to walk up to you, but his shortened sature won't let him. Don't look away, not yet! Look at me! If only to keep your fucking promise! Just fucking pleas—Please just look at me again!

"GUM-GUM—!"

"No, no, no!" Buggy, for the first time in his life, begs as the kid stretches his arms backward. Not like this. Not yet. He tries to search for you, only to discover that you've already left the circus tent. "Wait, wait, wait! Just wait!"

"— BAZOOKA!"

#buggy the clown #buggy the clown x reader #one piece live action #buggy one piece #buggy x reader #one piece x reader #buggy the clown fanfiction #one piece #one piece buggy

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dairy-farmer · 5 months ago

Note

I hope I'm not bothering you, I'm the anon who recc'ed that fic about Damian managing to kill Tim, but since I know you like multi verse stuff, how do you think a canon bat clan ending up in an alternate world where Tim died by Damian's hand would go?

Dick's heartbreak, torn between defending Damian from everyone who views him as a monster instead of the traumatized kid he is and wanting to have a break down over the way his counterpart clings to his Tim. The uncomfortable shift of their Damian and Tim, who, depending on what you want, who either still have a strained relationship with semi-frequent murder (but growing more and more half hearted as time goes on) or a Damian and Tim who have reconciled, something tense between them. Bruce, who can't speak, can't breath at the idea of loosing his Tim, his rock, his anchor, his baby, Tim to his youngest son Damian, who he loves deeply regardless of how he struggles to show it.

Or maybe a world where Jason killed Tim and never came back into the fold, having killed a child. Even if Batman wanted to welcome him back, the hero community kept him locked up tight- after all. Hero killers rarely walk free, never free from their sins, particularly when it's a child killed. Guilt haunts this verison of Jason. Oh, for a long time Jason didn't care but civilians never stopped treating him like he was a true super villian like the Joker or Black Mask. Child are taught to fear him and run and hide from him. After all, if he could break Robin, torture a child to death with all Robin's training, what chance did a normal child did? And with Batman retired for good, and Nightwing on the warpath, Jason can barely walk down the street after any escape attempts before superman drags him back to the meta containment facility.

When canon Jason meets this broken man/child, he shivers in fear. Knowing if he had slit Tim's throat a little deeper, or if help can taken a little long to arrive this could have been him.

And Tim, imagine how it affects him seeing how deeply he's missed by his family. How loved he is. How deeply his death breaks his family. The angst is so good!! <3

i love this so much!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍!! and of course it isn't a bother!!!!

the bats encountering a universe where tim DID end up dying as a result of damian or jason's attempts on his life would for sure be a very uncomfortable experience all around. them finding out tim was dead would automatically trigger their defense response.

watching as a...washed out looking dick grayson shakily cups tim's face while looking like he's on the verge of tears. the moment they land in this alternate universe they know something is up. dick is wearing the suit. that immediatly sets off red flags because bruce's stint through time is fresh in their memories. but maybe the universe is just...behind. their key events are slightly off in timing or maybe the loss of bruce in their universe is permanent. but then they arrive to the cave and are greeted by a grim faced bruce.

and they find out bruce is retired, that he doesn't go out as batman anymore that he's...given up the mantle permanently to dick. and dick sees that and feels a pit form in his stomach at the thought of being batman full time forever.

and they know something's wrong, deeply wrong they can tell from the way batman-dick had hesitated at the sight of them and brokenly called out "tim?".

it's uncomfortable for everyone to see a near tears dick grayson, to see how he's fussing over tim and clearly desperatly trying to keep himself together. bruce too. bruce isn't even hiding his staring and there's such a deep and complex expression of grief on his face and clearly they've entered a universe that has had a bit of a bad break.

they figure out tim is dead pretty quickly without even having to ask.

they suspect it from the initial meeting but its confirmed when they see tim's suit in its own case in the cave.

generally bats aren't comfortable with alternate universe versions of themselves running around so batman-dick is planning on helping them find a way home once he gathers himself up a bit more.

so they realize and sadly acknowledge tim has died. all signs point to it. and they think of the rogues, of the cults, villains, and maniacs that might be responsible for it and stand a little closer to tim.

but then dick and bruce's sharp eyes shoot to damian when he moves.

it takes a little longer to pick up on the hostility. dick hides his dislike for others well but they know him well and see the way his expression strains when he has to speak to damian, the way he looks at damian, the way he tenses when damian gets close to tim.

they know the bruce of this universe sees it and they watch his reaction how he looks pained and resigned and how he..says nothing.

the longer they're there the more agitated batman-dick grows. hostile, sometimes even snapping at damian for the smallest infractions.

they see how damian is uncomfortable, how he quickly hides his hurt at being treated like this by any version of dick grayson.

but dick is then sweet to tim, gentle, like he's made of glass and clearly so protective of him, trying to edge him away from damian and keep him beside him.

and their dick of course defends damian, gets into more than one biting argument with batman-dick over his hostility and snapping. and...it gets ugly.

and...they knew something was wrong. that something had happened to this universe's tim and that damian had something to do with it. but it gets confirmed when batman-dick suddenly snaps, immeasurably furious at their dick and starts yelling. starts accusing him of his blindness and naivety, that he was like him once, thinking he could help damian, that he could fix him. he made the mistake of being kind to damian wayne, taking him into their home, giving him robin and how did that beat repay him?? by killing his only brother.

and batman's rage suddenly slips away like it was a mask barely clinging to his face and suddenly his grief strick and angry bitter tears are streaming down his face. and he turns to tim, beseeching and desperate with his arms reaching out like a child does to their parent with a cry of "tim!". and tim is not heartless, he sees his sobbing brother reaching out for him and obviously opens his arms, lets a sobbing dick grayson cling to him as he lets out chest trembling sobs. his arms cling to him and tim wraps his arms around dick's shoulders, one hand immediatly strong the back of his hair and brushing his dark curls while shushing him in a low voice telling him its alright, its okay, you're okay.

and tim's dick who'd just been in batman-dick's face is frozen, his face looks like he's just swallowed something that is crawling around in his stomach. he looks unsure, like he wants to say more to defend damian but then hesitating and glancing at tim unsurely.

even when they're back home they can't shake what they witnessed. damian and tim had never truly gotten close. sometimes there were days they were both in good moods and joked together but more often if either of them had a bad day they took it out on the other and it did very little to foster good will between them.

damian is shaken. he learns that the damian of that universe had succeeded in killing his timothy drake and the result is...not what he expected. he is a pariah in that universe. the pennyworth of that universe implied that damian had an apartment in gotham he lived alone in that he and father visited him at weekly to spend time with and also deliver food and pennyworth had said it like it was a natural normal thing. but the thought filled damian with such a deep dread that he walked on eggshells even days after their return. damian had never stopped to consider what killing timothy drake would entail. in the league it would be glory and inheritance of his titles, land, possessions, and wife.

in that universe...where he suceeded. all it brought him was disdain. the reluctant love of a father who could hardly even bare to look at damian for long before glancing away. the burning hatred of his brother.

and damian tried to hold back the pained choke at recalling those dark eyes locked on him with sheer disgust and anger every time he opened his mouth.

damian tries to put it out of his mind. tries to pretend like he's not avoiding drake and subtly avoiding being alone with him. he doesn't know why he feels so guarded like he might be caught doing something wrong. because he hasn't done anything wrong. damian hasn't killed drake and yet...

he feels eyes on him whenever he and timothy are together. father has ceased shuffling patrol and now damian patrols with either him, grayson, or todd. but not timothy.

damian feels the sting of hurt at the suspicion, at the "precautions" father has begun taking. he feels like he's been found guilty of a crime he never committed and yet...hadn't he tried?

if things were a little differently. if timothy were a fraction slower, the wind slightly harder, damian a little faster...

that could've been him.

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

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wolfienation · 1 year ago

Text

some rhaenicent fic recommendations

grey ridge (ríl liatroma) by molter ( @molter-writes ) - married with kids; business drama; they’re sickeningly cute; arguably the best thing ive read in the fandom; 10 out of 10; read it like 6 times; if you haven’t read it dude what are you waiting for

ride the dragon (and do it quickly) by molter - the #roadtrip fix it

love is complicated by molter - Alicent is an actress and Rhaenyra is her rich best friend; they idiots and they’re in love; Laena is featured and she is fed up

leaf and blade by molter - it’s summer; they’re hiding their relationship; they’re teachers; and my all time favorite tag ‘harwin gets a whistle’

bodhrán beat by molter - read the tags. its by molter trust me its good.

cleopatra by dontaskmedude - divergence from episode 4; Joffery does not die; Laenor and Rhaenyra do everything right; Alicent and Rhaenyra raise their kids together

someone to watch me die by dontaskmedude - this is just, this is just depressing; good but depressing; like if hurt/no comfort is your thing this is for you; it’s just so, so sad; kinda Alicent in chains/Rhaenyra half year queen era with some timeline tweaks but no happy ending; do not read this if you want them to be happy

Untouchable by mylordshesacactus - young rhaenicent; if Aemma never died and if Alicent never married viserys; i love this story so much you dont get it

Blame it on Fate by Lumyart ( @lumyart ) - they’re rival co hosts; well, actually, they’re rival co hosts in Alicent’s mind; Rhaenyra is thoroughly enamored (as per usual)

you don't know what love is (if you don't put up a fight) by tansymeadows - viserys manages to last a couple extra days and Rhaenyra returns after Alicent blinked her pretty brown eyes and said “you’ve only just arrived”

The Silver Queen and the Lady in Green by WanderingFan - idk how to explain this; honestly just read it; it’s really good; slow burn; like incredibly slow burn im on chapter 26 rn and they’ve only just become friends a couple chapters ago but god is it worth it

is it too soon to do this yet ('cause I know it's delicate) by Arvedui - episode 1 divergence; it’s cute; they’re cute

would it be enough (if i could never give you peace?) by Arvedui - Jeyne Arryn my beloved; you and Laena would get along splendidly when it comes to these two nitwits ( i say with affection)

Midnights Like This by pure_black_wings - based on Taylor’s album; college setting; slow burn

Duty and Sacrifice (A History of Rhaenyra the Blessed by Archmaester Gyldayn) by TheIronDragon10 (@theirondragonrants) - now when i say i love this story i mean i LOVE this story; if you ever wanted to know what the House of the Dragon looked like thoroughly united then LOOK NO FURTHER; top tier; it’s wonderful; it has angst, it has joy, it has family and sibling vibes, it has slow burn, it has pain and healing and love everything i could ever want from a realistic version of canon where my girls can be happy; emphasis on realistic because the irondragon does not pull any punches

Cleaving to Rhaenyra by WanderingFan - another episode 4 divergence

you’ve got your demons (darlin’ they all look like me) by geralehane ( @geralehane ) - the reincarnation au

lying (in the hollows of your heart) by wakesiren ( @wakesirens) - read this for the last scene of chapter 3 and thank me later; update: READ THIS FOR CHAPTER FOUR AND THANK ME LATER

towers and dragons verse by beepboop (permanganato) - Alicent is one adorable nerd okay and Rhaenyra just loves her

what is it good for? by bluebaric ( @viscountcrow ) - arranged marriage au; Rhaenyra is a war hero; Alicent is perpetually terrified for her life

tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart by alphayamergo ( @sydneysageivashkov ) - this was just, this was just hilarious; like picture Corlys and Otto snarling at each other from across the council room trying to convince Rhaenyra to marry either Alicent or Laena and that’s what this is

thine is the queendom by liadrell ( @lesbianalicent ) - this was an excellent read, really good character dive on alicent

Ember to Flame by CrowSaint (@ dayneonychus ) - intriguing concepts

our shadow over the sea by queensmooting - sigh

Long Live Our Queens! by WanderingFan - they’re gonna kill their fathers and they’re gonna rule together and it’s gonna be great

blood in your mouth (I wish it was mine) by dontaskmedude - this made me shed some tears

Of Our Own Accord by 99bad_habits ( @99bad-habits ) - can’t wait to see how this turns out; canon divergence at 1x08; Viserys lives long enough and Rhaenyra returns on dragonback and our girls get to co-rule

and i'll still see it, until i die by irridescence - h e a r t b r e a k i n g; starts around the winter fever and goes backward from there

by choice by alicents - co-parenting rhaenicent my beloveds <3; family fluff told in segments in a non-linearly fashion; it's cute; they're cute; something to read while canon is breaking your heart

good luck, babe! by somebodytoundress ( @somebodytoundress )- based on the song by chappell roan; they're friends reconnecting after 10 years about to play lead love interests in a movie. give the song a listen and give the fic a read

am i making you feel sick? by somebodytoundress - rhaenyra is a vampire. need i say more

fault lines by rogueorbit ( @rogueorbit ) - 1x08 canon divergence; rhaenyra returns on dragonback and her and alicent make peace; alicent plays otto like a fiddle while rhaenyra stands back and chants "i'm in love with you"

once more, to see you by Jazzfordshire ( @jazzfordshire ) - 2x03 canon compliant. takes place after their sept talk. bittersweet as hell. supercorp fans rejoice because jazz wrote it.

And in the Darkness, Hearts Aglow by mrdcai ( @mrdcai ) - #valyrianmagicbabies need i say more

Desire (I want to turn into you) by mrdcai - they're friends with benefits because they're fucking idiots

lately i've been crying (like a tall child) by noheteroexplanation ( @noheteroexplanation ) - this has one of the best characterizations of alicent i've ever read. it's told from her pov from the beginning of season 2 come forward with minor changes and goes into speculation for the rest of the show. heavy, heavy book spoilers.

it’s a craving, not a crush by BeastGirl2k14 - did someone say toxic modern au rhaenicent with some vampire action thrown in for fun? (alicent with a fang kink for the win)

Where love is elsewhere held and she lingered by koyuki_kazahana - alicent runs. rhaenyra runs after her. there are book spoilers in this.

there you go again by floodonthefloor ( @floodonthefloor ) - they're actors. they're childhood best friends. they were fuck buddies in uni and that really messed them up. they haven't spoken in years. they're now starring in a movie together. alicent kinda hates rhaenyra's guts but she still wants to jump her bones. trust me. it's good

try not to let go by floodonthefloor - they dated in uni. they broke up. and now they're back in each other's lives. that's gonna go well.

there’s more i just got tired so feel free to add your own; there are also other stories by these authors (Wandering, wakesiren, somebodytoundress, mrdcai to name a few) which I have not put here that are also enjoyable so you can check them out

#rhaenicent #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #hotd #i truly think i consume a ridiculous amount of fic so here #i also feel like ive just given you all a peak into my soul #also if i missed anyone's blogs im very very sorry i probably couldn't find the name of it #fic recs #rhaenicent fic recs #fic rec #otp: doomed by the narrative #rhaenyra x alicent

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licorice-tea · 10 months ago

Text

You’re An Angel When You Sleep

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: angst, drowning, a little “off-screen” violence, hurt/comfort, near death experience

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: literally wrote this in between classes so hopefully it doesn’t feel too rushed! not edited super closely yet, the grammar might be a little off. inspired by the song “Around The Bend” by Pearl Jam, specifically the last verse <3

Edited 2/28/24

Law is sinking, and there’s nothing he can do.

People call it “The Curse of The Sea.” They say that “she” turns her back on you when you eat a devil fruit. It’s simply the price to pay for such immense power.

And he has never had to worry about it before. His devil fruit ability affords him the security of being to prevent trips into the ocean. Not that he ever would fall- Law is far too careful a man- but he has plenty of crewmates and friends/allies that could somehow knock him overboard.

How sickening, that the first time it actually happened was at the hands of an enemy. And how disappointing, that it had only happened because of his own pride. A foolish disregard of taking caution while standing close to the railing on the enemy ship, when one of his opponent’s underlings threw something that didn’t even really hurt, but sent him overboard. In the midst of a battle where everyone was expected to hold their own- Law could expect no help as he plunged into icy waters.

It’s cold enough as it is, and his curse does nothing to help. He tries his hardest to stay conscious- perhaps he can still use his power if he thinks hard enough. People awaken their devil fruits all the time, so there’s no reason why he can’t do it now. But, no matter how badly he wants to simply teleport back to the deck of the ship, he can’t. The feeling of impending doom only serves to weaken his resolve, and soon enough Law is unwillingly giving up and giving in to the sea.

He’s about 10-12 meters down now. The weight of the water makes it feel nearly impossible to hold his breath for longer, so he lets out an exhale ever so slowly.

But no one is coming, and it’s time to accept his fate. “This is it,” he thinks, “just another pirate lost to the sea. That’s how it ends for me.”

He takes a moment to reflect on life up until now. So much pain and suffering, but in the end he just can’t stop remembering what little good there has been. His crew, who, no matter how much they bothered him, were his family. His blood family and Corazon, who he hopes to see again soon if there is any sort of afterlife. Then there’s you- with your uncanny ability to make him smile and laugh, your clever personality and friendly nature, all your strength and intelligence, and seemingly unwavering good morals. Law feels he barely deserves to have known you in this life, let alone fall in love with you as he has. Which is why he never shared his feelings with you or anyone, in all the time you’d been on his crew. Before this moment, he’d at least had the comfort of knowing there would always be the future, and therefore more time to open up to you figure out his feelings.

“How foolish.”

Law is just about to close his eyes- at least then it might be a more peaceful demise- when there’s a splash that breaks the surface of the waves. His eyes shoot wide open as he tries to figure out what it is, as it’s rather difficult to see clearly with his vision blurring and on the verge of losing consciousness.

All he can be sure of is that it’s a person. The light from above the waves surrounds their silhouette giving them an angelic halo, but simultaneously blocking out all their features from his view.

Law wonders, “Are you here to seal my fate? To ensure I don’t find some way out of this?” If he could, he’d ask that they do it quickly. Still, that painfully hopeful little part of his mind can’t help but come out in what are more than likely his last moments alive. “Or, are you here to save me? Are you gonna give me a second third chance at this? I don’t deserve it, but I will accept it. I’ll use it to do more; work harder, fulfill every goal. Confess to y/n.”

And that hopeful streak seems to take over his body as he uses his last iota of strength to reach upwards. Law’s angel continues swimming downward, but he can’t hold his breath long enough to see them reaching out to him, too.

His last thought is of you. He swears he can see your face on this mystery person as they get closer; your pretty eyes and lips, your hair swirling around your form underwater. Could it actually be… No, he doubts you’d even seen him falling overboard. But maybe he’s already dead, and you really are an angel. Law doesn’t get the chance to fully consider either reality though, as he finally blacks out.

“Gimme gimme gimme… a man after midnight…”

This is how Law taught you to do CPR on someone whose heart had stopped. Years ago, when you were struggling with keeping count of 100-120 beats per minute, he told you to “think of a song with the same count.” Most everyone’s go-to CPR song is “Stayin’ Alive.” But, you prefer the classic ABBA song. You pause every 30 compressions to administer 2 breaths, and as you remove your lips from his, a thought crosses your mind. “He looks so peaceful like this.” And even while unconscious, he’s handsome… angelic, even. Nevertheless, you’d much rather have an alive and annoyed looking Law than a dead and calm one.

“Is there a soul out there… Someone to hear my-”

Law coughs suddenly, and shoots up into a sitting position, gasping for breath.

“Law!” You throw your arms around his neck, nearly knocking the man back over.

And though he’s still catching his breath and coming to his senses, he lets you, and puts an arm around your back. “Y/n,” another cough, “what happened?”

You release him (much to his disappointment) and explain how the fight had ended soon after the crew lost sight of him; their captain. And, while the others quickly overtook the enemies, you dove overboard where you’d last seen him. It was pure luck, though guided by your intuition, that you found Law beneath the surface.

“Then I swam over here-“

“Which is where?”

You nod in the direction behind him. “Just around the bend from the harbor. The Polar Tang and the enemy’s ship can be seen from there, so I thought it’d be best to hide while you…”

“While I was dying.”

“Don’t say it like that,” you scold him with a frown, “you’re alive.”

“But I could have died.” Law says with very little pride. He sounds a little out of it, which makes sense considering the circumstances. “I could have died, and you saved me.”

“Well, any one of us would’ve, Captain-“

“Thank you, y/n.”

You shake your head bashfully. “It was no problem, really.” That’s a lie, and you both know it. The water in this part of the ocean is freezing, but through some incredible resolve that you hadn’t been aware of before, you pushed through it. For him. “So… We should get back to the fight, yeah?”

You move to stand up from your place on your knees, but Law stops you. With his hand on your shoulder, he pulls you back down to his side. “You said the fight is over?”

“Mhm.”

“Then let’s just… stay here, for a moment.”

He leans toward you hesitantly, though you’re not sure if it’s because he feels weak or he just wants you to hold him again. Either way, you wrap your arms around him and rest your chin on his shoulder. You hold onto each other with gentle force, and you feel him exhale deeply.

“I need to tell you something.” Law mutters.

You pull back enough to see his face. “Right now? Can’t it wait, Law-“

“I can’t want any longer.” And he really can’t. He’d tell you about how he had mistaken you for a living, breathing angel another time. For now, he just needs to fulfill his promise to said angel (to you?), and confess his love for you.

“Ok… What is it?”

Law is very straightforward as he says it. “I’m in love with you.” And he makes it impossibly hard to return to the battle when he asks that you never leave him in this life, like so many others have. Which you promise not to, of course, though it’s not exactly your decision. You tell him that you love him too, and in turn demand that he doesn’t die on you, either. Law nods against you.

The two of you stay there a while longer, in each other’s arms around the bend.

#fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece #x reader #law x reader #law x you #law angst #angst with a happy ending #angst #h/c #devil fruit #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar law #law x y/n

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itstheghostofmypast · 9 months ago

Text

Tornado Warnings

Idol Song Mingi x (F)Reader

Summary: She had to tell him one way or the other, but she didn't want him to take it any other way than it really was. Who was she confronting though, at the end of it all, herself, him, or their relationship?

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: insecurities, depression, anxiety disorder

Est.Read Time: 25 min

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels

Ratings: nc-17

Banner: @cafekitsune

Song Rec: Tornado Warnings (Sabrina Carpenter)

Staring up at the ceiling she wondered if she should tell him or not. He had been sitting at his desk, hunched over, the expanse of his broad shoulders making it look extremely painful. Ever so often he'd mumble to himself, reading out a verse, shaking his head, and then scribbling it out, the room littered with paper balls. After an hour of collecting them and throwing them in the bin, she had given up and decided to read instead- that was 3 hours ago, and by now, the room looked like it belonged to a toddler.

Slamming his hand on the desk he groaned, the wood shivering under his large hand. He was frustrated, she could tell, and he could tell too, but he wasn't frustrated because of the lyrics- no that was just part of the frustration. He was frustrated because he wasn't able to pay attention to her today, spend time with her, or talk to her, even though he had invited her over today. They were supposed to be free today, which they were, which is why he called her but as soon as he saw her face he felt as if the world had stopped and his brain had begun to jumble words together for some coherency- it frustrated him how she was his source of inspiration, yet the subject of neglection.

"Mingi?" She finally decided to break the four-hour-long silence. Shit. She probably wanted to leave, she was probably tired of waiting for him, of course, she was, why wouldn't she be?

"Mingiiiiiii~" she whined, grabbing a pillow and tossing it at him, the soft material colliding with his head with an umf. Rubbing his head he turned around, staring at her, eyes filled with dread.

"Yeah- I- am almost done-"

"I want to go to a therapist."

"Sure-" he paused, confused, staring at her for a second, brows knitting together in confusion, why? Was he the reason? Did someone hurt her? Was there something she never told him-

"Mingi, if you keep making that face and zoning out, I'll beat you with a pillow."

Snorting at the threat he stood up, shaking his head before stretching his arms over his head, making him look even taller. Tilting her head up to meet his gaze she frowned, unsure if he was going to take this well or not, but the moment he jumped on the bed beside her, his action causing the whole bed to rock, a laugh wracked through her body.

He laid there on his side, facing her, head resting on his palm, elbow digging into the sheets, most of his legs dangling off the bed as he smiled at her, "Okay, no more intrusive thoughts or work, you have my full attention".

"Finally," muttering, she reached over to run her fingers through his brown, unkempt, spikes, "Look at this nest..." His eyes closed at the kind gesture, only to snap open at the latter statement, "It goes with the concept- does it not look good?"

"Of course it does."

"Then?"

"Just makes it harder for me to...." she trailed off, averting her gaze and pulling her hand back to her lap. Sitting up straight he frowned at her, reaching over to clasp her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze, "Love...what is it...you- we promised to always share right?" His voice was calm but she could sense the desperation in his words, slowly pulling her closer, both now sitting cross-legged on the bed, she was glad his bed was as big as him because even with his legs folded in and back pressed against the wall, he was taking a lot of space.

"I told- I mean, you know how I said that I kind of feel off these days?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been seeing this therapist and-"

"You're going to therapy? You didn't tell me? Is everything okay? Did something happen? Wait, you want to or are you going to one?" Brows knitted together he licked his lower lip, ready for more of his interrogation, why hadn't she told him? Did he have a role in this? What was the premise of the situation, were they going to be, okay?

Raising a hand gesturing him to stop and calm down, and for herself to do the same, taking a deep breath she exhaled and gained some form of composure. "I... okay, so, I only went once, free trial kind of thing, but then, she asked me a few questions I couldn't really answer, so I stopped- its been a week so yeah..."

Nodding in return he pursed his lips in thought before muttering, "What kind of questions?"

"Relationships..." He nodded at her short response, thinking for a moment before humming, "And...that makes you feel uncomfortable?"

It wasn't like she felt uncomfortable, in fact their relationship was one of the most important and joyous highlights of her life, but it was one that she was to keep to herself, at least for some time. It's not like she didn't know this before committing to this relationship.

"I- the thing is..." She began slowly, he could tell by looking at her expressions that she was choosing her words very carefully, "I just feel like I'll be lying, so it'll make the session pointless, on the other hand, I don't want to talk about us because what of it is leaked or something else..."

Nodding he thought to himself, humming as he leaned against the wall. He understood where she was coming from, on one hand, he knew how important it was to have a clear head, a cluttered mind often leads one to some form of depression. On the other hand, he wanted to be selfish and keep her all to himself, but letting her go...would make her happy, then the question is, did he love her enough to let her go?

He took a deep breath, pulling his hand away from her, choosing to cross his arms over his chest, as if he were holding down what was bubbling within him, and began his question, trying ever so hard to ensure his voice didn't betray him, "Do you...want to" only it did, turning into a faint whisper " ...you know?"

'"What?" Confused she looked at him before noticing the way his eyes had watered, connecting the dots, only to gasp and yell, "NO YOU IDIOT!"

Grabbing the closest object, she smacked him, over and over again, lucky for him it was a pillow, "WHY WOULD I WANT THAT?" she continued, hopping off the bed, after he had jumped off, to run from her.

"I DON'T KNOW?"

"MINGI! I JUST DON'T WANT TO LIE ABOUT YOU" She threw the pillow that hit the desk, things falling off, wells he had thrown it at him, but he had ducked out of the way, "YOU GENIUS, WHY WOULD I WANT TO LEAVE YOU!" She could feel the bottled-up emotions ready to blow, all the insecurities and second thoughts, the side comments and feelings fuzzing up, ready to spill, mixed with anger and sadness. To think that he would jump to such a conclusion so quickly. Was she not there for him enough? Did she not express her love enough? Or did he not feel the same way for her- in terms of depth and intensity, perhaps he was looking for a moment, a moment he could use to finally escape from her broken form, she was basically a whole package as it is, a burden he had to hide and conceal from the world- perhaps he was tired of keeping secrets too, only unlike her, maybe he wanted to completely let go, but who was she to say no to him, who was she to cling onto him?

"WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM? IT’S NOT LIKE YOU DISCUSSED THIS WITH ME BEFORE GOING TO ONE!" He yelled back, frowning at the mess, standing a good distance from her. Okay, perhaps he was upset, not only did she never mention the therapist before, but now he felt like maybe he was the problem. Though his voice had betrayed him, choosing to side with his bottled-up frustration, doing that one thing he had never wanted to do when it came to her, yell at her, to raise his voice and put the blame on her, even though he could clearly see her façade crack, yet here he was shoving it until it shattered.

For a moment she stared at him, quietly trying to arrange her thoughts, to understand her feelings, trying to deal with the turmoil, trying to compose herself, she knew she should have consulted with him before even getting an appointment but, perhaps she was not ready for the yelling. Letting out a frustrated sigh and closing his eyes, he rubbed his face, trying to calm down, to block out all the noise running around in his head. He didn't mean for it to get out of hand, especially not like this.

"I..." she began, only to sigh and shake her head, "Never mind, please forget I ever mentioned it." Walking over to the things that had fallen off his desk, picked up each item, and lined them up neatly against the wall. She could pretend this never happened, that therapy never happened, that her feelings getting the best of her never happened, the feeling of being choked by her own thoughts never happened- not because he had yelled at her, no, but because of the fear of losing him, she’d rather watch herself slowly crumble away than to lose him like this. A toxic trait, it really is, she could now see what the therapist had meant when she told her ‘You must love yourself first before being able to love someone else’, but how could she just let him go? When he had always been there for her, and for once when he couldn’t help her, what was she to do? Leave him- perhaps that would have been better for him, but maybe, just maybe, the jealous little insecure girl in her wanted to hold onto him as long as she could.

"Mingi?" his eyes snapped open at her soft tone, meeting her meek gaze she patted the bed, "Why don't you lie down for a while, I'll order something to eat-"

"Why are- " he corrected himself, "were, you seeing a therapist? " Cutting her off, he stood there on the same spot. Watching her sigh as she sat down on the place she had cleared for him, staring at her lap, "Because...I just...sometimes I feel things...Mingi and I can't understand them and it's like I'm being choked by my thoughts."

His gaze softened at the confession, sighing as he walked to her, taking a seat next to her, he pulled her into his side, arm wrapped around her shoulders, "I- do you feel like that because of me? Because of us- I mean I'd understand because we have to hide our relationship." his words were soft, but she could sense the desperation. Leaning onto him she shook her head, reaching for his free hand, as she began to play with his fingers.

"Never," whispered she clasping her smaller hand in his much larger one, "It was and will never be you- you, this relationship, us, this is the highlight of my life." A smile grew on his face at her words, pulling her closer, if that were even possible.

"But" she pulled away, much to his disappointment, “The thing is, if I lie in therapy, then I won't get a proper diagnosis" She paused staring up at him. Silently nodding he scrunched his nose, trying to push up his glasses without letting go of her hand. An extremely inefficient way, but he didn't want to ruin the moment, maintaining eye contact right now was vital. He knew when she looked up at him like that, she'd be hinting at him to process her words instead of reacting. The way her eyebrows were slightly raised, eyes wide, lips slightly parted, ready for her tongue to roll off the next list of words.

"But?"

Reaching with her free hand she slowly pushed his glasses up, sliding them up the tip of his nose to the bridge, "I don't want to lie about you, I can't pretend you don't exist. How can I say I am single? Forget our relationship for an hour I spend there, skip through the pages of our days spent together, like a chapter pulled out by the editor at the last moment." pulling her hand away she sighed, laying back down on this soft bedding, legs dangling off, arms folded above her tummy as she looked up at the ceiling- it would've been impossible to confess her insecurities and fears while looking right at him. The innocent face he'd make, pouting at her like a child, slowly processing her words.

"How do I lie about you in that office, then come back out pretending I never did such a thing, how do I get back to the rhythm without missing a step?"

Mingi let her pull away, knowing she needed a bit of space, he did do- more than often. So, he sat there, staring ahead, but his attention was solely on her words, patiently waiting for her.

"Even if I convince the doc you don't exist, does this mean I'll end up convincing myself that too- or worse, what if I end up convincing you that I- we, no longer exist."

She had no idea when she had begun to cry, not even a memory of when her vision had turned blurry, but a hand reached up to furiously wipe away the leaking emotions, the guilt that had begun to choke her soul, with a grip so tight and strong that it scared her.

"The worst part is, that you're not even the problem, you aren't the reason for my trip, but factors in my life I cannot control. My family, apparent friends, and this pressure- sometimes I just text you at night, knowing you're asleep, knowing you're tired, knowing you won't reply instantly- but you're like the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can't help but reach out for it when I'm being pulled back into my pit and-" she paused when she felt the bed shake, sitting up on her elbows she noticed his trembling shoulders.

"Min... are you okay?" sitting up, placing a hand on his shoulder, she gave it a light squeeze. "I just...the reason why I walked out was because she asked me if I had anyone around me, I could rely on with my eyes closed. And Mingi...I sat there, staring at her face like an idiot, how could I tell her, the person I blindly rely on is the goofy, giant, artist- I came to know about another idol whose doctor exposed him and well, I can't risk that, but I don't want you to have a partner that's not emotionally fit...you deserve the world Mingi, you deserve to be with someone who will love you as much as you love me, you have a big heart Mingi- I…I don’t I’m selfish, even though I know you deserve all that, I can’t let you go, and I’m not really sorry for that…I-" With a slight pause she pressed her forehead against his shoulder, trying to control it all, for the sake of it, for him, she whispered, “I can’t lose you.”

When she got no response from him, she moved closer, shaking him a bit, "Mingi?" she leaned closer only for him to turn away whining as he let out a choked, "Don't, Yunho says I look ugly when I cry."

She couldn't help but snort at that statement causing him to frown and turn to glare at her. Unfortunately, his red, puffy eyes and trembling lower lip made it too difficult for her to take him seriously as she gushed over him, "Awww don't cry -"

"You're an insufferable woman," he pushed her hands off as she wrestled to not move them, her laugh resonating across the room.

"What? you look cute!" she tried to pull him closer as his large palm pressed against her cheek, trying to push her away, "You’re a masochist, you can't say such things and then laugh! You do need mental help!" he half cried; half yelled in protest trying to not ruin his "cool" image any further.

Their little banter was interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by its opening a bit as a head poked in, "Hey, sorry to bother you, but are you guys okay-" Seonghwa paused at the sight before him.

With one hand she was pulling on the sleeve of his sweatshirt, while her other hand was gripping the leg of his track pants. His eyes scanned the other idiot, whose palm was squished against his girlfriend's face, fingers covering half the side as if he was trying to push her away, while his other hand, arm extended completely, was gripping onto the edge of the bed like he was trying to escape. He noticed their puffy eyes and tousled hair, but he was so confused.

Seonghwa had been asked by Yunho to go check on Mingi. He was in his room when he heard the younger one yell, followed by a few things falling on the ground. He knew Mingi well enough to know he wouldn't do something stupid, but he also knew that the idiot had no control over his tongue when he was emotional. However, this was not what he was expecting to see.

"uhh... never mind."

The door closed as the two exchanged a look and burst out laughing, Seonghwa who was on the other side of the door shook his head and walked away, leaving them be.

She was too busy laughing to realise when he wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight as she wheezed. Her face was buried in his neck, giggling against him. He let out a sigh, letting the silence envelop them both for a while, her body still pressed against his, arms not budging an inch, both of them lying on the soft bed. The sound of their calm breathing, mixed with the low buzz of the air conditioner had almost lulled her to sleep, his warmth wasn't helping her either. Just as her brain was about to slow down to neutral, she was violently shaken awake, "Excuse me, don't you sleep on me."

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU~" whining she pulled away only to almost fall off the bed until he pulled her closer. "I'm sorry for yelling at you." he smiled at her, when she placed a soft hand on his cheek, pinching it, "I'm not upset Mingi."

"You know Hongjoong is a great person to talk to" he suggested but stopped when he saw the face she was making, "what?" he asked, placing a limp arm on her waist.

"You realise he once advised me to put laxatives in your juice when you pranked me on my birthday."

"WHAT-" He gasped sitting up, "SO IT WAS HIM?"

"So, I think I should just stick to talking about my problems with you." she sighed, laying on her back and closing her eyes, "After a nap though- and you treat me with a nice meal, after ...that," she mumbled, feeling the fatigue left by the rush of various emotions. A few seconds had passed and she was almost asleep, her reflexes slowing down. She was almost asleep until she felt something soft press against her lips for a quick second before she was enveloped by extreme warmth, which could only be him pulling her closer, ignoring the problems and insecurities of the world for a few hours- just the two of them together, alone, peacefully happy in their dreams.

Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @marsvillee

@mlysalt @spooo00oky @the-kpop-simp

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darklordofthesimp · 2 years ago

Text

Anything II (König x Reader)

The 2nd instalment in the Anything-Verse

Main Masterlist

Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Like the characters? Read their fics below!

Sunshine Masterlist || Saint Masterlist

Series Summary: A lack of information from the chain of command results in König mistaking you for an enemy sniper.

A/N: As requested by literally fucking everyone.

Category: Angst || Hurt/Comfort || Forced Proximity || Enemies to ?

Warnings: Graphic language || graphic description of PTSD episode || graphic description of unintentional self-inflicted injury

You had thrown up. Twice.

Pressure snaked its way from your chest to your throat and nausea gripped your stomach. You felt deeply unsettled. Your fingers shook, your face was gaunt- you hadn’t slept properly in days. You were a mess.

All because of him.

You cussed beneath your breath, bouncing on your toes lightly. You were due for another training session and considering you’d bailed on the last one, you couldn’t afford to skip it again. You’d received an earful from Price for walking out after your conversation with König.

That fucker had reported back to the Captain that you’d simply ‘discussed the terms of the agreement.’

You slapped your thighs. Then, you hit them harder. The sharp pain jolted your system, and you used the distraction to force yourself out the door. The more you dwelled on it, the more you needed to vomit again.

This time, König was waiting for you.

He sat on the bench, legs spread and his head down. He was fidgeting with his gloves and, had you not known any better, you’d have thought that maybe you’d snuck up on him. But you did know better. König was aware of your presence the second you entered the hallway.

You sucked in a breath as he finally looked up, pretending that he’d only just noticed you. His features were obscured by his hood, giving you no indication of his reaction. He felt inhuman, there was no tug of his lips or twitch in his cheek- only an emerald gaze that stripped you of your courage.

“Birdy,” König tipped his head in greeting, your name soft on his lips. Your chest tightened at the sound of his voice. You hated when he spoke like that, low and from his chest. You wished he would yell, you wished he would be boisterous— anything to drown his promises of death in your ear.

“Your fight is finished.”

You didn’t acknowledge him. You didn’t say his name. Instead, you slowly entered the room and moved to the farthest side from him. Your heart beat wildly against your ribs and the nausea you’d felt earlier was back in full swing.

“The sooner we start, the sooner you can leave,” König reminded you, flicking his gaze across your attire.

“Then start,” you snapped. The man blinked at your aggression and his fidgeting fingers fell still. For a long moment, neither of you spoke. That emerald gaze was pinned to your figure, steady and inquisitive and terrifying. He straightened up from where he was slouched over, his seated form already taller than you standing.

“What can I do to make you more comfortable with this arrangement?” König spoke slowly, each word enunciated with careful control over his tone. Your heart dropped to your stomach, he was getting frustrated.

You wanted to spit at him that the only way you’d ever be comfortable was if he were to leave. You wanted to shout at him to fuck right off back to KorTac and never show his face again; that’s what would ease your mind.

But, as he held his body deathly still, that stare trained on yours- you reminded yourself of what he was capable of.

“The mask,” you whispered, cursing yourself for the way your voice shook.

König finally moved, leaning back into the bench as he took in a long breath. He waited for you to continue, to pitch your proposition, but your mouth had gone dry and your tongue had fallen limp. When he realized that you weren’t going to offer anything more, he nodded his head, clasping his hands together tightly.

“You want me to…” König bounced his leg, clearing his throat as he sat up straight. “You want me to take it off?”

You nodded your head. König said nothing. The sinking feeling that he just might reject your request began to worry you. He could say no and there would be nothing you could do to argue that, you were still required by order to do these training sessions regardless of whether he agreed to your requests or not.

You swallowed thickly, scrubbing your nose to break the eye contact between you both. You couldn't stand it.

"I can't do this if you're wearing that thing," you waved vaguely at his face, keeping your eyes low. "It- I just-"

Frustration burned in your chest as you flailed to articulate your feelings. You couldn't tell him outright that his stupid fucking mask plagued your dreams every night. You couldn't tell him about the terror that gripped you by the throat whenever you laid eyes on it.

König didn't let you finish, anyway. He reached for his hood, swiftly pulling it from his head and, again, you were thrown off kilter by his appearance.

His brows were furrowed as he observed you from beneath his lashes. "I know."

He knew what you were trying to say.

"Shall we start?" He asked, slowly standing to his feet. And, despite it being painfully obvious that he was keeping his body language open, you still took an inadvertent step back. You cursed beneath your breath when he straightened up to his full height, the urge to run from the room was almost overwhelming. König triggered your fight or flight response and your body was a slave to its survival instincts.

You sucked in a breath, forcing yourself to stay still as he approached.

"What are we doing?" You forced the question from your throat, trying to distract yourself from the hulking figure moving closer.

"Ground defence."

Your heart seized in your chest.

"I don't want to do this," you said as calmly as you could. Your pulse climbed rapidly as König's gaze softened.

"I know," he murmured. "But neither of us has a choice."

You didn't give a fuck about him or his choices. You couldn't care less whether he was here of his own volition or if he'd been ordered to take care of your training; you only cared about the fact that he was twice your size and had nearly murdered you once before.

You couldn't believe that Price was allowing this.

Betrayal stung in your chest.

Actually, what you really couldn't believe was how this cunt was even allowed to be here.

Clearly, you were dispensable.

Maybe you had overestimated your importance to the team, maybe you had misunderstood the bond between you all. You'd been replaced by your own aggressor and Price had allowed it.

Clearly, you hadn't meant as much as you thought to the 141.

“Birdy.”

You jumped, tripping backward into the bench behind you. You stared wide-eyed at König who was equally as startled by your reaction.

“What?”You snapped, straightening up as though nothing had happened, as though he hadn’t almost frightened you out of your skin.

He hesitated before continuing, the side eye he shot you was clearly one of concern. Disgusting. “I need you to lie on your stomach.”

“No.” The word fell from your mouth before you’d even realized it.

König raised a single brow. “You want this to happen again?”

He gestured at your swollen cheeks, the fresh scarring from your stitches that littered your face. The man referenced you like an artist would show off their masterpiece.

“Only to you,” you said, your voice sickly sweet as you forced a bitter smile to your lips. The fluid in your cheeks felt like liquid fire beneath your skin at the movement, but the way his expression fell made the pain worth it.

“Then get on the floor so I can teach you how,” König crossed his arms, carefully schooling his features to give away nothing- but it was too late. You saw that you’d hurt him with the comment, or at least affected him enough to feel satisfied.

Your small victory gave you enough courage to lie down.

Your logic reminded you to immediately regret it.

Konig’s knee came into your vision as he knelt by your prone body. You couldn’t see his upper body, you couldn’t see where his hands were. He made no noise to indicate what he was going to do and your spine seized along our back.

You didn’t want to do this.

Not again.

“König,” you rasped, pressing your hands into the floor. “König, I don’t want to do this.”

Your breath was too fast, you felt like you were channelling air in through your mouth just to be sent right back out. It was as though you were rapidly suffocating, not getting any oxygen to fill your lungs, the room spinning from where you lay.

“Birdy, you need this,” König reminded you from above. The words sounded distant and muffled like someone had placed their hands over your ears and spoken softly.

You gasped loudly as the man behind you straddled your back, the mass of his body resting against the lower half of your extremely fragile spine. You wanted to buck and kick and scream until he was forced off of you but your mouth was dry and words evaded you.

“I want to teach you how to spin onto your back first,” König said, his hands resting lightly on your shoulders. “You can’t win from your stomach.”

You couldn’t win on your back either.

“No,” you said firmly, twisting experimentally from beneath him. “No, get off. I’m not doing this.”

There was a sharp sigh from behind you and instead of moving from his position, König began applying pressure. Your chest sunk into the ground as he leant just a fraction of his weight onto your body.

“Then get me off.”

The floor was hard against your body, it felt like your ribs were collapsing from beneath you. You could barely breathe as it was and now you were gasping like a fish out of water. There were so many things he could do to you from this position, so many ways he could torture you and you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself.

You tried to press upwards with your hands in an attempt to relieve the pressure from your chest. It was fruitless considering the 130 kilograms of muscle pressing your face into the floor, but you tried again. Then again.

You were beginning to sweat, your palms slipping on the floor. Your arms shook from the exertion and you could feel your resolve slipping, your control spiralling from your grasp.

“Get the fuck off me,” you wheezed, that same ugly pressure clawing its way up your ribs and into your throat. “König, I’m serious. Get off.”

“Listen to me and I’ll teach you how to get out of this yourself,” König’s voice was firm. There was no room to argue, the bite in his tone enough to put the fear of God into you. “Pull your knee up beside you, slide forward to get up onto your knees and roll me off to the side.”

You followed his instruction, forcing yourself to breathe as evenly as you could. Your skin burned where he touched, your body screaming at his presence atop of you.

Get him off, off, off.

The weight of his body eased as he let you perform the maneuver. He was too heavy and you were too tired to pull that move off without his help, but you didn’t care anymore. You’d do anything for him to get the fuck away from you, you’d do anything for him to never touch you again.

Konig rested his weight back down, straddling your hips as you lay on your back now, facing upward.

The exact same position of that night.

Your breathing picked up and your hands began to tremble. The sensation of excess adrenaline flooding your body, a feeling that you were familiar with, rendering you shaking but incapacitated.

The hood was on his face again and his eyes were wild and manic. You’d never seen that look in a mans eyes before, you knew then that he was going to kill you. The emerald glint of his psychotic glare was all that you could see. It was so dark and he was so fast, you weren’t able to predict his moves because you couldn’t fucking see them. He was a shadow, he was death incarnate. Your body was on fire, your lungs screaming from within your chest.

The monster’s eyes drifted to your chest and you followed his gaze. The handle of a knife jutted from above your breast bone and you snap your eyes back to his. Blood sprayed in the space between the both of you as he twisted the knife in your chest. You’d forgotten the noise that it had made, your punctured lung sucking air from the bloody wound with a wet gasp.

König’s eyes were hard as he reached for your face, fingers outstretched and closing in across your vision.

Not again.

“Birdy!”

You bucked, you heaved, you fought off his grip. You knew what was going to happen, you knew what came next. This time, your brain matter would be smeared across the floor, this time he would finish you off.

You clawed at the fingers wrapped across your face desperately, trying to draw enough blood for him to flinch away. You ripped at his skin as hard as you could manage, screaming against his palm.

“Birdy, stop!”

Nothing was working, nothing could stop him. You dragged your nails across his fingers, driving them into the divots of his cuticles in an attempt to deglove his skin from bone.

“Jesus Christ, get a fucking sedative!”

When König smashed your head into the concrete, you were grateful for the darkness that ensued.

You didn’t have that privilege last time.

____

The first sense you regained was smell.

And, by God, did you fucking hate that smell.

The scent of disinfectant flooded your olfactory system so viciously that you were forced up in your seat. You scrubbed at your eyes desperately, praying to whoever the fuck was listening that you weren’t where you thought you were.

White lights flooded your vision and you cringed back into the cushions, pressing your palms into your eyes.

“Easy, Birdy. Easy.”

That familiar cockney accent served as a warning. Gloved hands tugged your fists down from your face and you tried to regain control of your breathing, eyes squeezed shut.

“Ghost?” You rasped. Your voice was barely a squeak, and you realized with a frown that you’d lost it somehow.

“Thought I’d come pay you a visit.”

You slowly attempted to regain your sight, blinking away the blurriness and the harshness of the down lights. You gingerly observed your surroundings, heart sinking to your stomach as you recognised the room.

You’d been on this bed for weeks during your recovery from the incident.

Same hospital, same room, same bed.

You felt nauseas.

Swallowing the bile threatening to make an appearance, you dragged your gaze to the seat by your bed. Ghost sat so still you could have mistaken him for a piece of furniture had you not been actively looking for him.

The man watched you carefully, his hoodie raised over his head and the balaclava perched firmly over the lower half of his features.

“When did you get back?” You asked, cringing at the broken sound of your voice. Ghost exhaled through his nose and his eyes softened under your scrutiny, an expression you’d never seen before flickering across his gaze. You were disoriented, still unsure of how he had gotten there or what you were doing there.

“Yesterday.”

You froze, eyes widening as Ghost waited for you to come to the realization.

“How long have I been in here?” You cried, the words gutted by your vocal fatigue. “What the fuck happened?”

“You need to take a breath,” Ghost leaned forward, his hand pressing lightly against your shoulder, prompting you to lay back into the cushions.

“No, you need to tell me what happened, Simon,” you reinforced, throwing a hand to your chest. You pressed against the skin, as though you could force your lungs to slow down with just a touch.

Ghost made a noise from the back of his throat, strangled and uncomfortable. You could tell that he hadn’t expected you to wake up while he was there.

“You…” And for the first time in nearly a decade, you heard Simon Riley hesitate.

Your mouth was dry as you realised the severity of what had happened, the anxiety of not knowing what you’d done ripping at your chest. Your eyes were pleading now, begging him to just come out with it, to tell you the truth.

That stormy gaze was sympathetic. It made you tremble.

“You had an incident, Birdy.” Ghost said slowly, deliberating over his words carefully. “An episode.”

“An episode?” You questioned, narrowing your gaze. “The fuck do you mean an episode?”

Ghost didn’t shift in his seat the way König did when under pressure, he didn’t fidget or bounce his leg. Simon Riley sat still like a cold-blooded creature, watching you from the darkest corner of the room with a cool, steady gaze.

“PTSD, Birdy.”

You blinked slowly.

“During your ‘training’ with that cunt,” Ghost spat the words, his eyes shifting to the side as he centred himself. “We heard your screaming as we were on the way back in.”

“We?’ You rasped, dread settling in your stomach.

“Me and Johnny,” Ghost clarified. He exhaled softly, shaking his head. “You had to be sedated, kid.”

The skin on your cheek stung sharply before you could process that bombshell. You frowned, attempting to ignore it in favour of uncovering what had happened. Ghost was never one to beat around the bush, always outright and as ‘blunt as a cunt’, in Soap’s words.

So, why was he now omitting a key part of the story?

The skin beneath your eyes stung again, this time demanding your attention. You began to sweat at the sudden severity of the pain, hands flying to your face to diagnose the issue.

Ghost moved before you could blink, striking out like a cobra. His hands gripped your wrists, keeping them from scouring over the skin. Your eyes were wide as you appraised him, bent over your bed, your hands suspended in his grip between the both of you.

Your eyes narrowed. He mimicked the expression.

You shoved at his body, ripping your hands from his hold. You needed to get to a mirror. Throwing yourself off the side of the bed, you gasped as your knees buckled from their sudden use. Simon gripped your bicep, pulling you upright with ease, but you tugged against him immediately.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

He retracted his hand as though he’d been burned.

You stormed into the bathroom, the door smashing against the rubber stop glued to the wall. The lights flickered to life as you bashed the switch with the bottom of your closed fist.

You could have thrown up.

Gauze pads covered both your cheeks, stained pink from what you realized was blood. Your face was bleeding. A whimper fell from your lips as you reached for the dressing, peeling it slowly from your skin. Your mouth fell open at the slow reveal of what hid beneath the gauze.

A strangled cry ripped from your throat.

Claw marks.

Jagged, deep wounds, tearing down the length of your face; raw, bleeding and fresh.

You couldn’t breathe.

Distantly, you could see Ghost standing behind you in the mirror, his gaze solemn and his hands clenched. You couldn’t ask the question, couldn’t form the words but you didn’t have to. Simon had understood you back when you were eating from a straw, your eyes so puffy you couldn’t open them for days.

His hand came to rest on your shoulder, the only comfort he could offer as you stared at your mangled reflection, yet again.

“You were screaming for him to get off,” Ghost began, his fingers tightening against your burning skin. “The fucker was standing next to me.”

Blood dribbled down the distinct lines engraved into your flesh, tracing the length of your throat and disappearing down your hospital gown. The both of you watched it trail your prickled skin, but you couldn’t move, suspended in time and trapped with the image before you.

Simon’s voice was barely a whisper when he spoke.

“You thought his hands were on your face.”

_____

NEXT CHAPTER

____

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mazeinthemiroh · 2 years ago

Note

Skz but it’s academic rivals to lovers 😩

stray kids as academic rivals to lovers

genre: academia, general, slight crack and angst?

word count: 0.7k

warnings: cursing

please like and reblog if you enjoy <3

bangchan

friendly competition.

he doesn't really like to have any hard feelings with anyone

even with someone he views as somewhat of a rival

he has the incurable need for people to like him despite him being competitive in most of his subjects

so he views your academic rivalry to be more of a friendly rivalry. the best person wins, in a sense. he's not going to get bitter and salty if you do better than him in an exam, and he expects you to follow the same sort of standard

and this friendly competition sparks a flirtatious energy that leads to something more...

minho

teasing and testing.

he likes to push your buttons

he's a stirrer. we know this, this isn't new information

he likes to get under your skin any chance he gets

if you get a lower score on a test, he's there ready to shove his high score in your face like the little shit he is

if you raise your hand in class and answer something that is wrong, expect to hear a mocking snort from mr minho himself

yeah he just loves to see you get riled up by him, especially since you're his academic rival. he takes pleasure in irritating you.

changbin

flirty and shameless.

even though you guys are supposed to be 'rivals', changbin has different intentions with your heated competition

what was once an intense rivalry to obtain better grades, binnie thought it would be much more fun if he flirted with you instead of causing negativity

because he doesn't like causing any drama and just wants to have a bit of fun, so there's no harm in getting a little playful whilst trying to do better than you academically

but this flirting leads to a relationship he wouldn't expect to have

hyunjin

dramatic flare.

he secretly lives for drama despite being one of the more quieter students in class

he is especially competitive with subjects he feels most passionate about, like art, english and dance. he wants to exceed and do well in these classes, and likes the feeling of being the best in his class

but when you come along and give him a bit of competition in his beloved subjects, then he has a problem

you give him the fire to push himself and do better. and suddenly he becomes better and better thanks to your 'threatening' presence

and soon he grows to appreciate you for pushing him and making him the person he is today. and he can't help but admit that you two make a powerful pair

jisung

shits and gigs.

honestly he doesn't care if he does better or worse than you

he's there for laughs and laughs only

it's not his fault that he's naturally talented and has a bright head on his shoulders

things just come easy to him and it absolutely infuriates you

he's the type to not do any homework or study for a test, but then get one of the best grades in class

which angers you, especially when you dedicate your time to improving yourself academically and your efforts don't always pay off

this is how he slowly becomes your rival

although it doesn't help that he's so damn charming and handsome... no matter how hard you try and hate him, he's always got you right where he wants you

felix

camouflaged adoration.

what you see as a rivalry, he sees as a way of getting close to you in his own little way

of course he wants to do well, and with a little competition, he feels charged and ready with any exam just so he could impress you with the outcome

but he ends up leaving each class feeling more admiration for you than he would have ever thought

just the way you are so well-versed in your subjects and have a great drive and passion for them is amazing to him

just you expressing yourself in class and showcasing your intelligence does something to him that he can't quite explain

seungmin

his love language.

he thrives off of academic competition

most definitely ends up being insanely attracted to you purely because you are intellectually stimulating and he just loves that

is mean sometimes. makes snide comments and remarks. but that's his way of flirting, honestly.

he likes being playful in his own little way. there's always a sparkle of mischief in his eyes when he sees he's riled you up, but he always makes sure not to take it too far or personally

he's masterful really in the way he plays with you. and he is so much more attracted to you when you know how to handle his witty remarks

jeongin

love-hate combo.

he can't tell whether he's attracted to you because of your equal competitiveness

or whether he's just super pissed off

it changes on the day, to be honest. it basically depends on if he's doing better than you or not; succeeding academically is the underlying factor of your relationship and he's not sure how to feel about it

and he loves to be a tease if he is succeeding faster or at a consistent rate compared to you

but he can't seem to take the teasing when he's on the receiving end, which gives you a bit of a rush

it's very back and forth with the both of you lol

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whipped-for-kpop-fics · 8 months ago

Text

Starlight Eyes ~ B.SK

🌟Who; Boo Seungkwan x female reader (Y/N) 🌟What; Fluff. Seungkwan-centric. Some hurt at the beginning(I don't know if it's classed as angst or not). Briefly mentioned background memberxmember relationships. Reader is older(3 years). Staff!reader. Idol/canon verse. 🌟Wordcount; 14k 🌟Warnings; Alcohol consumption (nobody is shown drunk though). Period talk. Mention of doctors. Suggestive themes. Adult language/profanity. Seungcheol's injury is mentioned a few times. :(( I think that's it but please let me know if I've missed anything!

🌟Summary; The past months together were supposed to be his way of forming a connection with you that would allow you to see him in a romantic manner like you had started to with Seungcheol last year. But it seemed it had just made Seungkwan's feelings burn brighter and his crush turn into something more.

Ao3 link -Find my other writing here -

A/N; This was originally a self-indulgent story with an original character, not a reader insert so there may be some OC stuff I missed during editing so sorry if you see "her/hers/she" when it should be you/yours. Also, I know nothing about the members' personal lives so ignore any inaccuracies there, this is just fanfiction, it's not supposed to be realistic. <3

After all these years, all this time, now that everyone was finally accepting that it would never happen, it happened.

"We're dating," Jeonghan informed the group at large, his right hand holding Seungcheol's left, fingers laced and the older looking very shy as he smiled down at his own feet unable to meet the eyes of any of the 12 in front of them.

"Uh, should I leave?" You asked awkwardly, hands hovering over Minghao's head from where you had been playing with his hair.

"No, why would you suddenly leave?" Jeonghan asked confused, giving you a genuinely bewildered look.

"Because this sounds like family stuff not-"

"Don't," Seungcheol warned, lifting his head to land a firm look on you. "Don't try and say you're not one of us, Y/N because you are."

"Yeah, you're our girl," Jeonghan agreed. "We wanted to tell all of you together, you all should know about this at the same time."

"Okay," You agreed softly, not looking entirely convinced but you turned back down to focus back on playing with Minghao's hair in the way he only really let you do.

Seungkwan wasn't really aware of what was said after that because his attention was on you and the downturn of your lips. You weren't very close, the two of you, though you both still did value each other greatly; just like all of Seventeen did with you and you returned those fond feelings. You had been one of their staff for a while; mostly closest to 95 line as you were the same age as them, and had taken on the role of Seungcheol's personal physiotherapist despite the fact that you were actually a makeup artist. But all 13 young men adored you and you loved them all back just as much so your role was much more than just another staff member to them. Still, Seungkwan didn't really spend any time with you alone and that was okay for you both. But he still had always easily noticed your mannerisms and quirks, so he noticed the way you started to shrink into yourself as the others all congratulated the new couple, after making them both promise that it wasn't some kind of joke that Jeonghan had convinced Seungcheol to go along with. Seungkwan noticed you wilt and didn't understand how no one else did.

To celebrate the new couple, you all went to karaoke, even if you didn't drink and never actually sang but you always watched with a smile, just happy to be involved and thought of. Though this time, Seungkwan noticed you take the shot of soju that Seokmin had poured then promptly abandoned to run screaming excitedly over to the machine and join the song, already tipsy. At that point, Seungkwan stopped drinking.

Although Seungkwan did see you swallow down a fair few drinks over the night while no one was looking, you didn't really seem any different; smiles a little lazier and slightly cuddlier than normal as you tucked up against Wonwoo- who mostly stayed in his seat at your side- but still pretty much the same you as always. Seungkwan wondered if the older man noticed his companion drinking too or not.

Inevitably, as it happened every time you all hung out, you got up after a while to get some air and have a break from all the noise. Wonwoo smiled at you as you got up, his own smile a little drunken making you giggle and pat his cheek fondly before you left the room, putting a bowl of snacks in Soonyoung's hands as you passed him. You were always taking care of them like that; in little ways that added up to a lot. It wasn't a surprise that they all loved you an awful lot.

After a few minutes, Seungkwan got up and said he was going to the bathroom, not that anyone really noticed, then went out of the room, then out to the little courtyard designated for smokers but he knew you liked to sit on the bench right in the corner out of the way. "Hey," He greeted gently when he was close enough, causing you to lift your head up from where it was tilted back against the wall behind you with your eyes closed.

"Hi," You replied in the same tone while lifting your head more to watch him sit too.

"Everything okay?"

"Just needed a break, you know I need to escape it after a while."

"Mm, I know, but I meant more that you've been drinking."

"Ah, you noticed?" He hummed in confirmation. You sighed and tilted your head back again to stare up at the sky ahead; dark and too full of light pollution in the city to see the stars. "It's sad, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"That real beauty is hidden from us because we as a species rely on the artificial too much."

"Uh, that was deeper than I expected." He admitted, making you laugh. He smiled a little, glad that you weren't feeling bad enough to not laugh, and then he shuffled to copy your position and look up at the sky. "You'd like Jeju; there's this hill I go to when I visit my family, I never see as many stars as I do right there."

"Sounds peaceful."

"Mm, it is."

"I'd like to see that one day. If we're ever in Jeju together, do you think you could show me?" You tilted your head to look at him. He felt your gaze on him so he glanced over and then tilted his head too to meet your eyes in return.

Sometimes, Seungkwan really loved that you were the exact same height; being the same level made a lot of your professional interactions a lot easier when you had to adjust his makeup on set. But at times like this when there was already something hanging heavy in the air and Seungkwan's own chest had been twisted horribly for the past hours, he kind of hated it, that your open gaze was level with his. He could never escape it when you looked at him.

"Yeah, I'll take you wherever you want, noona." He replied honestly, tone a touch past just gentle now, turning more soft. "Even if we aren't scheduled to go to Jeju together, I'll take you one day when our schedules allow it."

"Really?" He nodded and you lit up. "I'd really like that, Kwanie."

"Mm, me too." He agreed, making your smile widen as his own turned up one side of his closed mouth. "That doesn't really answer what's wrong though. I'm pretty sure you're not really drinking because of not being able to see the stars." You sighed and turned your head back skywards though Seungkwan kept his full attention on you. He couldn't help but imagine what you would look like with the starlight reflected in your eyes instead of the orange of the fairy lights strung up in the courtyard. Still, artificial light or not, Seungkwan thought you looked beautiful. "Is it hyungs?" He asked carefully, not wanting to make things worse but wanting to get to the bottom of this to try and figure out how to make it better. "Coups and Jeonghan getting together? I…You like Coups-hyung, right?"

"I…no…a little." You admitted with a heavy breath. "I knew I never stood a chance anyway, he's been talking about asking Hannie out for weeks now so I really knew it was coming."

"You did?" Seungkwan was genuinely shocked. "Your response seemed like you didn't know."

"I didn't know when it was happening, or if Cheol-ah was actually going to have the balls to do it, they've been on the cusp of this since before I even met you all, after all."

"Mm, they have." He confirmed. "You really aren't hurt over it?"

"No," You laughed a little. "I'm happy for them, they're good together regardless of romantic status. I don't imagine much will change with them anyway, they've been very unsubtly sneaking off to make out and probably fuck for a while."

"What?" Seungkwan muttered dumbly. "They've been what?"

You looked at him and upon spotting his flat expression you straightened up with an amused expression. "You didn't know?" He shook his head. "Oh, here I was thinking you're one of the observant ones, you always notice when I need something."

"That's you though." He replied without thought then blushed and looked away, back up at the sky. "Uhm, like, it's easier to see when you need something compared to them because they've always been close and affectionate and disappear randomly so it's normal."

"Ah, I see." You hummed in understanding and tilted back again.

The pair of you were silent for a few minutes as Seungkwan focused on calming his racing heart and heated cheeks. He really thought that he had given himself away then. "So," He started, tone back to gentle. "If not because you're hurt, why are you sad, noona?"

"I just…" You sighed heavily. "It's fucking stupid."

"If it hurts, it's not stupid."

"I'm not usually bothered by this, I'm just…I don't know, sensitive, at the moment. Hormones, you know?"

"Mm," He hummed a little, understanding that you were referring to your incoming period. It wasn't something that you ever discussed with any of them exactly, though you did usually take time off every month routinely so the group had very early on been worried and asked you if something was wrong at home or something. And then you had very honestly said that it was because your period pains were worse on those days and you couldn't face people. Ever since, the guys had always had your favourite chocolate and snacks delivered to your apartment on those days to cheer you up a little; and you always hugged them all extra tight on the day you returned. So Seungkwan did know that you were due any day and even had a symbol on his personal calendar to remind him; he always intended to send you flowers but could never gather the courage to do it. He thought he was a lot like Seungcheol in that way. But at least everyone had known that Jeonghan returned Seungcheol's affection, nobody knew if you returned Seungkwan's feelings, or even that he had those feelings in the first place.

"Do you…do you ever just see people being all happy and in love and it just hits you that you don't have that?"

"Oh," He swallowed a little, surprised by your words because you had never seemed to care about romantic relationships for yourself even if you were all for others finding love. Honestly, some of Seventeen had even entertained the possibility that you were aromantic. So you saying this right now and admitting to being upset over being single was genuinely a shock to Seungkwan. "Yeah," He agreed in a soft exhale after a few seconds of absorbing your words. "Quite a lot, honestly." He chuckled a little, embarrassed and scratched his neck awkwardly. "I didn't expect it to be something you think about. That sounds mean, doesn't it? Or rude. Just not nice. I'm sorry-"

"It's fine," You giggled and reached over to take his hand into yours and hold it on the wood of the bench seat between you. "I don't; think about it really, I mean. Like I said, hormones prompted it today. I'm usually fine single, you obviously know that I'm generally not interested in romance. "

"Y-yeah, you've never dated in all the time I've known you." He was staring down at your hands between you. It wasn't the first time that you two had held hands but it was the first where you were having a conversation about romance in what could be considered a romantic setting, fairy lights and the night sky. Seungkwan was half convinced you could feel his racing pulse through your connected palms.

"I don't gain real attraction easily." You admitted softly. "In any way. I can see someone and think about them in a sexual manner but I wouldn't ever do something about it. I need a connection first, for either romantic or sexual relationships. But I don't like meeting people, it's too much hassle and anxiety so I'm not really giving myself the chance to develop any connection with anyone. I think that's mostly why I started to like Cheol because we were spending so much time together during his injury that we got closer and I'm not stupid, he's a wonderful, attractive man."

"Hyung's great." Seungkwan agreed quietly, mind whirling with all the new information.

"He is. You all are." You squeezed his hand gently, sending his heart tripping over itself a little which only grew when you adjusted your hold and your first two fingers slipped through the gaps of his last two. You had never locked fingers before. Seungkwan was halfway to a heart attack, he was certain. "I didn't expect anyone to notice something is, well not wrong; I'll get over this quickly, but not right I guess. Even Wonwoo didn't seem to notice and he's been next to me for the past two hours. It's always you, huh?" You turned your head to look at him again. Seungkwan took a breath before he bravely turned his head to look at you and meet your fond gaze. His breath caught in his throat and that heart attack was coming on very quickly now. "You always do so much for others, Seungkwan-ah, you work so hard to make others happy and feel loved. I hope that you feel it back tenfold. You really deserve it, you know?"

"Noona," He breathed out, feeling all his affection for you rising up to his throat. If he wasn't careful, it was going to come tumbling out so he pressed his lips together to hold it in.

"You'll let me know, won't you? If there's something I can do to make you happy, Kwannie." Those were dangerous words because all Seungkwan wanted was your lips on his, to know how you tasted behind the peach soju that you had been drinking intermittently all night. "Hm?" You prompted when he didn't say anything, his gaze just roaming over your face and trying to stick on your mouth as much as he was trying to not let it. "You'll let me know-"

"Kiss me," He blurted out breathlessly, eyes now glued to your lips and unable to look away.

"Wh-what?" You stammered, lifting your head to look at him utterly gobsmacked. But Seungkwan didn't really notice what your expression was doing as he straightened up in time with you, drawn like a magnet to you in a way that he usually had such good control over but his heart wasn't letting up and he didn't even realise that he was leaning in. Seungkwan's lips barely brushed yours before your hand was free from his and you were pushing him back, touch still gentle even as you cleared yourself space to get to your feet. "What the fuck?" You whispered, staring down at him with wide eyes of pure shock.

And that was what had Seungkwan's own eyes widening as he registered what had just happened, what he had just done. He had asked you to kiss him and then made the move himself when you had been too shocked to react otherwise. He had been so drawn to your soft-looking lips that he hadn't even paid attention to you properly. But now that there was distance between you and your fingers were no longer linked with his, Seungkwan knew.

"I'm so sorry," He rushed out, whole body flashing between hot and cold as panic and guilt squeezed his heart. "I-"

"We should get back." You spoke, voice odd, almost cold but not quite. It made Seungkwan's heart turn to ice in his chest. You were looking at him as if you didn't even know him and it hurt so much. You didn't wait for him to respond before you turned and went back into the building.

Seungkwan couldn't will his body to move, stock still with pain and fear. He had never wanted to confess to you in any way because he was certain that you didn't return the feelings and liked Seungcheol as of the past months; since you had headed back to Seoul with Seungcheol from Japan after tour while the rest of them went to Italy to film Nana Tour. Seungkwan had immediately noticed that something had changed when he saw you two face to face upon returning to Seoul but he hadn't been brave enough to confront you about it and just cradled his bruised heart closer to his chest. But now, what Seungkwan didn't want to happen, happened; you had rejected him. You pushed him away and broke his heart with a still so gentle touch that he honestly wished that you had been brutal, it would've somehow hurt less than this. Seungkwan was left there, heart in pieces not just for the rejection but knowing he had really messed up and now, he really wasn't sure if you would want to call him a friend any more.

How long Seungkwan sat there was an absolute mystery, he didn't move a single muscle, just sat there, staring brokenly wide-eyed at the door, tears silently slipping down his cheeks and hands gripping the edge of the bench either side of his thighs.

And then.

"Boo?" It was Hansol, stepping out into the courtyard in search of his best friend. But upon seeing Seungkwan's distraught expression through the glass of the door, Hansol's heart had seized with worry. "What happened?" He asked, rushing over to kneel on the slab in front of Seungkwan, one hand on Seungkwan's pressed-together knees and his other tenderly wiping the tears away, though more fell as Seungkwan came back to reality and he realised he was crying.

"I-I really fu-fucked up, Nonie," Seungkwan choked out before breaking down into sobs that made Hansol's heart break into pieces and join his best friend's on the floor around them.

It wasn't until they were tucked up in Seungkwan's bed together, Seungkwan's eyes swollen from his tears though no longer falling that Seungkwan actually told Hansol what happened. He hadn't really been in any state to talk at the karaoke bar and Hansol hadn't wanted to risk someone walking in on his fellow idol bawling his eyes out. So Hansol had tried to take Seungkwan back to the room yet he refused, making Hansol call Junhui out as one of the designated drivers for the night. Junhui did have every intention of complaining about being forced to drive them home and then come back, but upon seeing the state of the young man on the bench, Junhui drove them home before going back to the karaoke bar without a single complaint.

The pair were still alone even though they had taken the time to shower and attempt some kind of skincare routine for Seungkwan around his sniffles but he didn't have the heart to care and Hansol only had so much knowledge. Still, they both had clean, soft skin when they climbed into bed together to cuddle up in the way Hansol knew always soothed Seungkwan.

"Are you ready to talk about it now, Boo?"

Seungkwan curled up smaller against Hansol's chest, the younger on his back, his left arm around Seungkwan's back but folded up to run through the older's hair, his right hand over Seungkwan's left on Hansol's chest. "I fucked up."

"Mm, you said. With what? Y/N-noona?" Seungkwan flinched a little, confirming Hansol's words. "She left before I came out to you, she told me to check on you. Did you have a fight?" He sounded as if he didn't even believe it was possible; Seungkwan and you fighting, which was pretty true really as you two had never butted heads in any way.

"Not exactly." Seungkwan's voice was barely audible, half muffled against Hansol's chest and just very quiet anyway because he didn't really want to speak these words but figured he should. It was about time he told his best friend the truth. "I…I kissed her." Hansol tensed a little, genuinely surprised at his friend's words. "Well, tried to. She pushed me away."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I didn't know you like her that much. I've noticed you treat her differently to other women but I figured it was just because she's different to us all anyway, staff but a precious friend too. I thought it was mostly that and maybe a little crush but for you to try to kiss her? You really like her, huh, Boo?"

"Yeah," He choked out and turned his face further into Hansol's chest while gripping at his t-shirt. "I like her so fucking much th-that my heart is broken right now. S-she pushed me away and looked at me like-like she doesn't know me. I'm so fucking scared I've ruined everything, Vernon. Wh-what if she ne-never talk-"

"Alright, take a breath." Hansol soothed, knowing Seungkwan was on the verge of breaking down again and honestly, Hansol was not strong enough to handle that again. Seungkwn held on tighter as he obediently focused on taking some deep, slow though relatively unsteady breaths until he could breathe evenly again. He slumped back against his best friend and turned his head back around. "You haven't ruined anything, Seungkwan-ah." He promised. "Y/N-noona is not the type of person to ditch someone precious to her because of a love confession."

"I-I didn't confess." Seungkwan admittedly quietly.

"What?" Hansol mumbled puzzled. "You just randomly kissed her?"

"No. I asked her to kiss me first but I guess I just, got caught on the thought and leaned in without really realising."

"Uhm, okay and why did you ask her to kiss you?"

"Because I'm a fucking idiot." He huffed. "She was just…" He exhaled heavily. "It felt a lot, sitting there with her like that and she was talking and saying things and I just always get so caught up listening to her and stuck in how much I like her and she was holding my hand and you know I'm so weak for hand holding and she-" He took a much-needed breath when Hansol tapped his back a little, a silent reminder to breathe. "She basically told me to tell her what she can do to make me happy because she said I do so much for others and deserve to feel as loved and cared for as I make others feel and I just…"

"Asked her to kiss you?" Seungkwan nodded, cheeks warm enough that Hansol could feel the increased temperature easily through his sleep t-shirt. Not that he'd point that out. "And then you kissed her and she shoved you back?"

"No, not shoved just, pushed really gently. I think I'd prefer she had shoved me. Somehow, the soft touch hurts so much more."

"It's because she cares about you, Boo, too much to be so harsh with you. That's good, it means she won't want to lose you over this either." Hansol soothed, hand back in Seungkwan's hair and right thumb brushing over the back of Seungkwan's left hand. "It'll be okay. It might be a little weird at work tomorrow but it won't last."

As it turns out, Hansol was wrong, not because it was weird at work the next day but because you didn't turn up at all.

It was five days before Seungkwan saw you again; you had called off like you did every month though usually it was only a few days, not five. But you had answered the group chat like normal and just said it was just a little extra pain this month and you were fine and did not need Mingyu to come over and feed you handmade soup as it was just a period and you were not ill. The others had been persuaded and simply sent you more treats and funny videos while you were gone. But Seungkwan was convinced that you were avoiding him and well, Hansol's frown told Seungkwan that his best friend had the same thought.

When Seungkwan did see you, however, he really hadn't expected to. He was at a solo photo shoot for one of the brands he was an ambassador for and saw you waiting in his dressing room when he entered. You were dressed ready for work; supply belt strapped around your hips and a makeup brush in your fingers as you twirled it absentmindedly where you were leaning back against the counter in wait, eyes on the empty chair in front of you.

"Noona," He mumbled as he stepped through the open doorway. The brush flew out of your fingers at his sudden voice, making you both yelp a little as it pinged across the room. You both stared in the general vicinity of where it had fallen on the floor somewhere out of sight, then you huffed an amused laugh and pushed off of the counter.

"Come on, they told me to deal with you myself seeing as it's a simple outfit and look today." You mused, motioning him in as you walked over to the clothing rack where only one outfit was set up in wait; jeans, a t-shirt and a soft cardigan. "Kwan-ah?" You prompted when he remained in place. You looked over at him. "Are you going to come in and shut the door or are you changing at the threshold in view of everyone?"

"Right," He mumbled and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him then slowly approached, twisting his fingers together nervously as he neared. "J-just us?"

"Mm, we've worked with this team enough that they trust me to pretty you up alone, not that you need prettying up." You smiled at him, teasing as you tended to when talking to the guys about how attractive they were. But your smile faltered a little when you took his features in properly. He looked paler than usual with dark marks under his eyes and lips a little dry. "Kwan-ah," You breathed out, putting the hangers back on the rack to free your hands so that you could turn and delicately take his face into your hands. Seungkwan immediately felt his eyes sting a little with the threat of tears. He had been so scared that you would never touch him again that feeling your skin so tenderly against his own felt like an awful lot. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." You spoke softly, thumbs gently brushing over his cheeks. Your lips turned down further as you watched a tear drip down his cheek. "I never want to hurt you. You truly are someone I value greatly, you know that, right?"

"I-I was scared you wouldn't anymore."

"Silly boy," You teased, the left side of your mouth quirking up a little. "Knowing the wonderful man you are, how kind and caring you are, I really don't think there is anything you could ever do that would make me stop caring about you and want you in my life."

"You were gone for five days, noona."

"Yeah, I know." You frowned and started to lower your hands but he quickly put his own over your wrists and held you to him; you didn't try to pull away again and let him lead your touch back to his cheeks obligingly. He wasn't usually one to ask you for affection so you really weren't going to turn him away now that he finally had. "I just…I was being a coward. I was scared too, about how this would go, seeing you again after that. I felt so bad for leaving like that but I just…ran away. I'm not very emotionally competent, Kwan-ah," You admitted with a little pout that made his lips quirk up a little. "I've never been in that situation so I didn't know what to do. I should've just faced you the next day and not made you suffer these past days but I used my upcoming period as an excuse. If it helps though, I was genuinely in more pain this month so we both suffered."

"That doesn't make me feel better." He answered with a concerned frown. "I never want you to suffer, even if I am, I never want that for you." He brushed his thumbs over your wrists delicately. "Is everything okay? Why was it more painful?"

"I don't know, just one of those things I guess." You shrugged carelessly making his frown worsen.

"Noona, you can't be so careless about your health. What if it's a sign that something's wrong?"

"I can't go to the doctor because I had a more painful period than usual, Kwan-ah," You sighed, gently pulling your hands away to reach back and grab the hangers. He let out a displeased breath but obediently followed the silent instructions and removed his shoes to kick aside carelessly while unzipping his coat to remove. "They barely take periods seriously anyway, a one-off will be dismissed and a waste of my time going for."

"If it's worse again next month, you will go then?" He tossed his coat aside blindly in the direction of the couch. It fell short and landed on the floor but he didn't care.

"They'll dismiss it." You informed simply, watching as he removed his hoodie to also toss aside.

"Please, for me?" He requested, stopping with one arm out of his t-shirt to put his hand to yours over the hangers pleadingly.

"Fine," You conceded with a heavy sigh. "But if they just dismiss it, I get to say I told you so."

"Mm, okay. I'll even buy your favourite ice cream." He chuckled, taking the clothes from you to take to the couch and get changed there.

Even though Seungkwan was not particularly confident in his body he had changed in front of you so many times over the past two years- it was all part of being an idol with staff members around all the time during outfit changes- that he didn't even stop to think about the fact it was the first time that you two were alone while he changed, in a shut room. At least until you approached to start folding his own discarded clothes neatly so they didn't crease. And then Seungkwan looked at you, his own trousers around his ankles from just pushing them down and freezing. You could definitely see his dark boxer briefs as the plain white t-shirt stopped just below the waistband of his underwear. Suddenly, he was very self-conscious and aware of the fact you were alone and he had felt your lips brush his.

"Are you being Seungcheol?" You teased noticing him just stop and stand there. You didn't even look up at him and instead lowered down to your knees in front of him making his chest tighten and his fingers grip the edge of his borrowed t-shirt while he swallowed thickly. You didn't even notice, your hands were already on him; one on the back of his left calf and the other on the hem of his trouser leg. "Up." You encouraged. Numbly, Seungkwan lifted his left leg to allow you to pull his trousers off over his sock and then put his foot down before you swapped to his right leg to repeat the process efficiently. You leaned back and laid his trousers on the couch before grabbing the jeans off of the hanger.

It wasn't the first time that you had physically dressed a Seventeen member; Seungcheol especially since he hurt his knee, had required help with his trousers, socks and shoes and although he was healed now and capable, he still pouted at you until you helped him. Jeonghan could be pretty lazy too, especially near the end of concerts so you had more than once literally stripped him down to his boxers and redressed him when he was being too difficult for other staff who did not have a close enough relationship with the guys to do as much. The first few times had made Jeonghan blush and flustered for a while after, but these days he let it happen without any fuss. Mingyu was another who wanted to be doted on like Seungcheol, though he either went into playful flirt mode which always resulted in you either pinching or biting him depending on if your hands were busy, or he got shy and made it difficult for you as he tried to hide away despite whining for your help in the first place. The others always wondered how you could put up with Mingyu like that but you just shrugged and said it didn't bother you really as your job was to get them ready for the fans or cameras. Nobody ever pointed out that your job was only to do their makeup but you always went above and beyond what you were actually paid for. They liked you doting too much to want you to ever stop. Though they often tried to convince their higher-ups to increase your pay, something you genuinely were clueless about. The only time you had ever refused to help any of them dress was the one time Wonwoo had very uncharacteristically boldly called you over after a Hip Hop Unit stage, dressed in red leather and shining with sweat. You had taken one look at him and dismissively turned to touch up Jihoon's makeup again even though you had just finished. Nobody really knew what happened for you to refuse, though they were pretty sure it was some kind of disagreement between you two as you had both been kind of tense before that despite usually getting along really well. Seungkwan had actually suspected you two to be dating around that time and it was a lovers quarrel, but then he walked in on Wonwoo and Mingyu making out a few days later and realised he was very wrong.

"Are we tucking today?" You asked when the jeans were up over Seungkwan's ass and on his hips though still open. "Mm, it doesn't look long enough to tuck." You commented in answer to your own question, head tilted a little as you looked at the t-shirt still grasped in Seungkwan's grasp.

The door suddenly opened making Seungkwan inhale in slightly panicked surprise. Though to his relief, it was Hansol who entered, a carrier with three drinks in it balanced on his palm. "Uh," The younger male spoke, eyes wide on the position of the pair of you.

"Didn't know anyone was coming to watch Kwanie today." You commented after smiling in greeting at the young man while he awkwardly entered the room and shut the door behind him. You turned back to Seungkwan and reached out to do his jeans up for him, with hands now skilled at dressing and undressing others.

"Uhm, I heard you'd be here today so I thought I'd come like, check in," Hansol admitted, putting the drinks on the counter. Seungkwan gave his best friend a grateful looking knowing he actually meant that he was there to be moral support for Seungkwan.

"Ah," You made a noise of understanding and pointed to the shoes by the rack. "Grab those, would you?" Hansol nodded and quickly grabbed the shoes to take over and hand over. He stood a few feet behind you and silently watched as you helped Seungkwan into the shoes and made them all neat before you got to your feet.

It was very clear to the youngest that Seungkwan was feeling some things from having his crush, you, on your knees in front of him and clearly you had been there for a little while dressing Seungkwan, judging by how wide his eyes were and red his cheeks. Hansol wished he could help his friend out in some way but there wasn't anything he could realistically do.

You made short work of getting Seungkwan into the cardigan before leading him over to the makeup chair to get started. All while Seungkwan just let you. He kept his lips together and eyes big on you to watch you move around and take charge of getting him ready for the photo shoot so naturally that he wondered why you ever said that you didn't like being in charge of people. You always handled the guys so well and often delegated tasks amongst the staff yet when you had been offered a higher-paid position as head makeup artist, you had refused on the grounds that it was too much responsibility and pressure being in charge. Seungkwan wondered if you actually realised how much the rest of the staff and even the 13 idols listened to you, especially during changes backstage at concerts. You didn't get paid to take charge but you were the only one willing to get physical with the guys to get them where they needed to be or step in to calm them down when their tensions ran high.

"You haven't been doing your routine." You commented when you were leaning in closer to Seungkwan to carefully work on adding the tinted balm to his lips, the last step of the standard natural look routine you did to them all for these calmer shoots.

"Sorry," Seungkwan whispered back, fingers twisted in the hem of his t-shirt again; it was very creased at this point but neither of you had even noticed.

"Shall we do an intensive session later? We haven't done one of those in a while."

"Really?" His heart thrummed excitedly at the thought of spending an hour alone with you taking care of his skin. He always felt so relaxed and content after those sessions but it had truly been a while since your last, months.

"Mm." You hummed in confirmation, then leaned back and stepped away to give him the freedom to get up. You looked at your right hand where leftover balm was on the tip of your middle finger from dabbing it to his lips, then at your empty left hand. You usually had a tissue in hand but you hadn't picked one up today. Seungkwan looked at the counter with every intention of grabbing a tissue for you but your usual box wasn't there, nor your wipes. Without warning, you turned and approached Hansol and held his jaw in your clean hand to apply the balm to his lips. He had been kind of alarmed at the sudden grab, even if it was rather gentle in your true fashion, but quickly understood and just stood still and let you. He even smacked his lips together when you pulled your right hand back, making you giggle. Hansol smiled at you and Seungkwan watched, looking between you two and, not for the first time, he noticed how good you looked together. Then again, he thought you looked good next to any of his members. He wondered if anyone ever thought that he looked good with you. Probably not.

"What's going on with Boo's hair?" Hansol asked curiously, causing you to turn back around to Seungkwan.

"I don't need to do anything, Kwanie already looks handsome enough," You informed, though approached to run your left fingers through his hair a little just to fix the strands that getting changed had messed up.

"Seungkwanie is really handsome already, huh, noona?" Hansol grinned to himself as he watched Seungkwan fluster a little at your genuine praise.

"Mm, people will be more interested in Seungkwanie than the product," You continued, knowing Hansol was baiting you to tease his friend and willing to play along.

"Stop," Seungkwan whined a little. "You're being ridiculous."

"Excuse you, I am being honest." You scolded and gently tilted his head upwards to meet your eyes. "You're beautiful, Boo Seungkwan." Even with the concealers and foundation on his skin, Seungkwan's resulting blush could be spotted.

Hansol watched Seungkwan's expression melt under your honest gaze, nothing but pure unfiltered adoration in his eyes. Hansol wondered if Seungkwan had always looked at you in that way when he thought that no one was looking and able to call him out on it, or if it was now something he was unable to hide since his truth came out. He wondered if you saw Seungkwan's gaze and knew what it meant, how the kiss wasn't his full truth.

Since that day at his solo shoot, when Seungkwan had more personal time with you than he ever had and really understood that you truly saw no change in your relationship despite the kiss attempt, he had slowly invited you to spend time together more and more. He had always wanted to spend more time with you but he had been too scared of his feelings coming out and ruining things, but that had already happened and you were perhaps closer than you had ever been.

Over the past few months, you went from seeing each other pretty much just at work or when you were hanging out with other members and Seungkwan happened to be there too, to texting every day often with video calls at night as you both unwound and did your nightly skincare routines together, and spending time together alone outside of work with none of the other members.

At first, Seungkwan had been worried that you wouldn't want to spend so much time with him but you had always happily agreed to spend time together and had even started to suggest hanging out yourself; at first with something specific in mind like visiting something that you felt you'd both enjoy or to get a meal, but then you would just ask to hang out with no plan in mind. The first time you had admitted that you had no plans and just wanted to spend time with him, Seungkwan had honest-to-god almost burst his heart through his chest like something out of an old cartoon. It still made his heart flutter madly when you would skip over to him and cutely hold onto his arm to request quality time with handsome Seungkwanie, but he had a much better control over his heart these days. Well, for the most part.

"What are we doing here?" Seungkwan muttered alarmed, heart racing with nerves in his chest as he woodenly followed you into the bridal boutique; the same one he had visited a few weeks ago with his sister to pick up her wedding dress and his suit.

"Unnie said she's put aside a few options for me." You replied simply.

"Options? For what?" He worried, following you over to the reception desk. "Noona?" He hissed desperately but you were already talking to the staff; the same woman who had served him last time. He was wearing a mask and cap this time but he was pretty sure the woman recognised him based on the smile she shot his way. He bowed a little in polite greeting. Seungkwan felt so out of his depth even as he was led over to the dressing rooms and told to sit on the couch, just like his first visit here to help his sister pick out her dress with her best friend and their mother.

And then he was alone as you went into the room and the staff wandered off, though returned minutes later with a few dresses all in the soft lilac Naeryin had picked for her bridal party, him included. Seungkwan's throat dried with nerves. Were you invited to the wedding? He knew that you and Naeryin had developed a friendship of sorts since you met a little over a year ago at one of Seventeen's concerts and would meet when Naeryin was in Seoul on those rare times, but neither of you had ever said a word about you attending the wedding. He genuinely did not know if he could handle seeing you surrounded by his family like that, like you were one of them.

Seungkwan had been so caught up in his worries that he hadn't even noticed the door open until the staff stood from where she was perched on the stool and clapped happily. Seungkwan looked up and saw you standing shyly in a silky lilac off-the-shoulder dress that gathered in at your waist highlighting your curvy figure and stopped just above your knees. Seungkwan could see the hint of a tattoo on your right thigh; he didn't even know that you had tattoos and the thought made him kind of lightheaded. Well, more than he already was.

"What do you think?" You asked nervously, fingers fiddling with the straps of your bra on show thanks to the sleeves. "I'd wear a different bra, of course so imagine without the straps." You encouraged, big eyes locked on Seungkwan who was just staring dumbly at you and wishing he hadn't removed his mask and hat because now his awestruck expression was embarrassingly in full view.

"You look so beautiful!" The staff enthused when Seungkwan remained silent. You smiled gratefully and turned your attention to the staff who approached to coo over how well the dress suited you and literally looked tailored to your body despite being off the rack. "You two are going to look so beautiful together, have you seen your boyfriend's suit? He looks so handsome in it!"

"Uhm, he's not my boyfriend." You corrected softly, cheeks a little pink and gaze suddenly focused down on the skirt as you fiddled with it. "Friends."

"Oh, I apologise, I just thought because his sister personally set aside options for you to attend her wedding and asked for silk like her brother's shirt…I assumed. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." You assured, placing a gentle hand on the staff's arm comfortingly. "I'll go change back. I'm more than happy with this dress so I won't try the others." Then you were back in the dressing room, the door clicking to a lock behind you and Seungkwan still hadn't moved a muscle.

It took until you were at your usual coffee shop, at your usual table at the back half hidden behind a divider and plants, that Seungkwan managed to actually say a word.

"You're coming to the wedding?" He asked, fingers playing with the edge of his mug as he stared down at it.

"Mm, the makeup artist that unnie picked turned out to be really uncomfortable to be around when the girls went to trial their looks for the day, and so unnie asked me if I could help them out as they had decided to just do each other's makeup instead of stressing to find a wedding makeup artist in time. Of course, I said yes and then unnie said I should now accept the invite seeing as I'll be there anyway," You shrugged and then sipped at your drink.

"Noona invited you already?" You nodded in confirmation. "And you said no?"

"I wouldn't really know anyone and would feel really out of place and anxious the whole time."

"You'd know me."

"Mm, but you're her man of honour, Kwan-ah, you have duties to attend to so I didn't want to add more on top. I know you'd feel responsible for looking after me and making sure I'm comfortable." He opened his mouth as if to argue but then closed it again making you giggle. You both knew that he would be doing exactly that. "But I have a real purpose for being there now, and I met the girls through video chat and they're lovely so I think I'll be okay and you won't need to worry about me."

"I'll always worry about you." He replied automatically in a gentle tone. You peered up at him and then aside, eyes unintentionally landing on your dress laid over the back of the seat on your right side in a protective black dress bag to keep it clean. Seungkwan followed your gaze automatically and recalled how you had looked in the dress and how he had lost all ability to talk. He felt guilty for not telling you how beautiful you looked. Bravely, he took the chance to now. "I should've said this earlier when you asked but I think you look so beautiful in that dress, noona." You slid your eyes back to him, a little rounder now at the compliment. "I was just…lost for words. I've never seen you like that before."

"Yeah, I was worried it would be weird, wearing a dress in front of you." You admitted, directing your focus to your mug between your hands. "I was supposed to go pick a dress a few days ago but I uh, wanted you to be there."

"Me?"

You nodded. "So the first time you see me in a dress isn't the day of the wedding."

Seungkwan knew that you didn't mean it that way, that you weren't talking about your wedding but he was now thinking about it; what kind of dress you would choose to wear when you promised to be by his side forever and love him until the world stops spinning. Seungkwan had never thought of that before; marrying someone specific, being in love with you and spending your lives together, but now that he had, he realised how much he quite liked the thought. The past months together were supposed to be his way of forming a connection with you that would allow you to see him in a romantic manner like you had started to with Seungcheol last year. But it seemed it had just made Seungkwan's feelings burn brighter and his crush turn into something more.

"Kind of desensitise you, I guess?" You continued, unaware of the fact that Seungkwan had just realised and accepted that he was falling in love with you. "Though I guess once isn't enough to desensitise," You mused, lifting your mug to sip at.

"I guess you're going to have to wear dresses around me a lot in the next few weeks." He replied, surprised at how smoothly he had gotten the words out when the thought of seeing you in dresses so much was genuinely giving his lungs some issue drawing in oxygen.

"Kind of impractical to wear at work." You replied, eyes curving with your smile over the edge of your mug.

"Mm, I guess so." He agreed and took a drink before lowering his mug and licking his lips. "Then the only thing to do is spend more time together outside of work."

"That would mean going home and changing instead of going straight to wherever we want to go. We barely make it before closing to a lot of things as it is, Kwan-ah."

"I don't mind." He shrugged, playing it off and looking back down to where his left index finger was tracing over the edge of his mug. "I don't mind what we do, so long as we're together."

"Oh," You licked your lips and looked down yourself, cheeks a little pink and not noticing that his were the exact same. "Me either. I don't mind either. I just like spending time with you."

Seungkwan looked up and noticed how shy you looked with your blush and downturned eyes. Maybe, just maybe his plan had worked and you were starting to like him too. Bravely, he uncrossed his ankles to stretch his leg out just enough to tap his foot to yours lightly. You peered up at him through your lashes for a few seconds before you moved your own foot to be beside his own. Seungkwan's heart thumped and he had to quickly lift his mug to hide the fond dopey smile that lifted his lips.

The weeks until the wedding passed in a blur of flushed cheeks and shy giggles between you two. You made sure to fit in time together at every chance that you both could, and where possible you always wore a dress. The dresses were all casual and comfortable, ranging from simple pinafores to cute summer dresses; all of which stopped around your knees and never showed any more skin than your arms and the slight glimpse at the top of your chest, but every single one made Seungkwan's heart thrum because it was for him. Not quite in the way he wanted but he still hoped and started to believe as the days passed that you were no longer just desensitising him but dressing to look nice for him. He had noticed that sometimes you wore a little more makeup than usual or did something with your hair; he always complimented you on it and felt pride swell in his chest at the way you'd turn shy and blush without fail before taking his hand to lead him off somewhere different every time. At some point in those weeks, it stopped feeling like two friends hanging out and more, dare he say it, like dates. Something Seungkwan regularly screeched to Hansol about when they were safe from others overhearing. He couldn't help but wonder if you had felt the same too.

Then the day arrived that you two travelled to Jeju together ready for the wedding the next day. Of course, Seungkwan had been basically booked in to stay at his parent's house for the weekend but had said to you when you were trying to figure out your own accommodation that he'd get a room at the hotel too so that you could go together. You had refused saying he should stay with his family otherwise they'd be very disappointed and he would regret not taking the chance while he could. He had understood your point, so had just helped you book a hotel for the trip with something hidden in his chest saying that he wouldn't regret it as much as you thought.

There had actually been a bit of a fuss leaving Seoul as somehow people had found out that Seungkwan would be at the airport, but at least you had known ahead of leaving for the airport so Hybe had put together a team to escort you two through the airport safely with a few of the security getting on the flight too in case it was crazy at the other end. But Jeju airport had been pretty much quiet so the staff had gotten back on the next flight back to Seoul after making sure you two were safely in the car Seungkwan had rented for the trip.

Although Seungkwan could drive, he wasn't all that confident about it and it was even worse with you in the car as he didn't want to look incompetent, especially in his home town. You were always the one driving you two around in Seoul and honestly, Seungkwan preferred it that way because there was something really attractive about the way you drove; as if you had no concerns at all and had been driving your whole life. And you always let him put whatever music he wanted on; Seungkwan was pretty sure that lately you had even started to sing along under your breath and he's anticipating the day he actually hears you sing for the first time. So Seungkwan liked it much better when you drove but he had wanted to drive this time so that you could take in everything you passed without having your mind mostly on safety.

Initially, you two had planned for Seungkwan to drive you straight to the hotel to let you settle in and he'd go to his parent's house, but he had looked at you and saw how bright your eyes were as you took in the beautiful sights that he didn't want to part already. So he drove around showing you various things, pointing out places and telling you his associated memories; things he hadn't even really had the chance or urge to tell his members but he wanted you to know. He wanted you to know everything about him and to know everything about you in return.

"Do you think I could go to your home town with you one day?" He requested when he finally pulled up into the drop-off zone outside the hotel, hours after landing and with a few calls from his family wondering where he was. They hadn't said much after he had said that he was showing you around, but he knew that he was going to be bundled with questions from his mother in particular about when he was going to ask you out. Not because Seungkwan had ever told anyone but Hansol about his feelings for you, but because his family just knew him too well, especially his sisters.

"My home town?" You questioned looking at him with one hand on the door handle ready to get out. He nodded. "No."

His face fell a little. "Oh, okay, sorry, I just thought-"

"Not because of you, Kwan-ah," You assured, reaching over to pick his hand up from where it was still resting on the handbrake. "But because I don't want to go back there myself, let alone show someone who means so much to me that part of my life."

"You don't?" He frowned concernedly. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"Mm, there's a reason I've been in Seoul as long as I have." You squeezed his hand a little then smiled and removed your seat belt.

"Will you tell me about it? One day?"

"Maybe." You agreed and got out. He quickly followed to help you take your case and large makeup case out of the boot. "Go before your parents call again." You teased, trying to wave him off.

"I will." He agreed though stood there, one hand on the car and the other in the pocket of his shorts. "Go in." He encouraged with a closed-lipped smile on his face as he tilted his chin towards the hotel. You didn't react immediately, just looked at him and he was very certain that your gaze travelled him up and down before you did turn and scuttled off into the hotel. "Did she just check me out?" He muttered in stunned disbelief, finally moving to get back into the car. Once inside he just sat there dumbly, one hand pressed to his juddering heart. "I think she checked me out." He laughed in happy disbelief though jumped when there was a horn behind him. He quickly strapped himself in and disengaged the handbrake to drive off and let the taxi behind pull up.

Seungkwan had already seen you for breakfast which all of the wedding party were invited to at the resort where the wedding was to take place. You had tried to say that you weren't part of the party, just a guest doing makeup but Naeryin had not accepted that at all. Especially as Seungkwan would then be at the resort for the rest of the day making sure that everything was ready and you needed to get there early yourself to start on the bridal makeup and get ready too. So Naeryin had pointed out that it just made sense for you to join them all for breakfast so that her poor little brother didn't have to drive so much and add extra stress on his shoulders; a manipulation that you were very aware was happening but too caring of Seungkwan to avoid.

You two had sat side by side at breakfast and Seungkwan had done his utmost to not be obvious with his feelings in front of his family but clearly, he had failed as his sisters especially kept giving him knowing grins every time he met their eyes. He just stopped looking at them in the end.

But then you had to part ways; Seungkwan to do his duties putting his eye for detail to the test in the actual venue and you to go with the bride and her bridesmaids to help her get ready. Watching you walk off laughing with his sisters had made Seungkwan feel kind of giddy. His family loved you and that made him happier than he could put into words.

Seungkwan had just finished spending a good twenty minutes trying to get one particular strand of hair in the right place, wanting to look perfect for his sister's wedding (and also to impress you) when there was a knock on the door of the room designated to him to get ready for the wedding. He had already been in there for over an hour to shower and get into his grey suit with a lilac silk shirt underneath. You had that morning obligingly given him makeup products for him to apply himself, he really wanted to look perfect for Naeryin's wedding. And he had done a pretty good job if he said so himself, not as good as you would've but good enough.

"Kwan-ah?" Your voice passed through the door making him freeze. He was suddenly hit with the very real thought that he was not ready to face you. "Can I come in? I'm done with the girls so I can help you now, if you want it."

"U-uhm, yeah-yeah, you can come in." He called then swallowed thickly when the door started to open.

Seungkwan's hands fell to his sides and he automatically turned around to face you as you walked into the room. He had already seen you in the dress and that was hard enough to deal with but now that you had your hair done, makeup on and feet strapped into a pair of pretty lilac heels, he really did forget to breathe for a few long seconds.

"Oh," You exhaled when you took in Seungkwan as you approached, your beautifully made-up eyes widening a little even as you came to a stop just out of arms reach. With the heels on, you were a few inches taller than him and usually, Seungkwan would hate that but with you, he didn't even care.

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Seungkwan breathed out, chest heaving as he quickly rushed to refill his suddenly burning lungs. You looked away shyly as a blush bloomed on your skin. With your shoulders and the top of your chest exposed like that, Seungkwan could see for the first time that your chest coloured prettily when you blushed. It was probably not a very good piece of information to have right then if he wished to remain sane enough for the wedding. But, too late.

"You should see Naeryin-unnie, she looks like a princess." You replied and looked back up at him. You stepped forward without thought and easily fixed that annoying strand of hair without any hassle.

"I don't doubt it, my sisters are all beautiful. But I can never put you in the same place as any of them, they're my family and you…" He breathed out, fingers ghosting over your arms where they were both still raised, gently brushing your fingers over his face to smooth out any imperfections in his makeup.

Your hands stilled and you redirected your gaze from his cheek to meet his eyes. "I'm what, Kwan-ah?" You asked quietly, almost a whisper between them.

"You know," His expression tightened and turned a little desperate as his fingers curled around your forearms. "You've got to know by now, Y/N."

"I…I have my suspicions." You admitted and licked your berry-stained lips. "When you kissed me, it-it wasn't just a spur-of-the-moment thing, was it?"

Seungkwan swallowed thickly.

Part of him didn't want this conversation to happen, not today of all days when he wasn't certain where it was headed and he already had so much on his shoulders to make sure that his sister had the wedding of her dreams. But the other part of him wouldn't be able to think of anything else if you didn't talk about it now, if you walked away and left it for another time or never again. His heart was so full in his chest, so full of all the little quirks and habits of you that he couldn't not know for certain anymore. He needed to know if the hope in his chest should get shoved back in the bottom of the box for a future Seungkwan, or if he could let it become something more.

"No," He admitted quietly, fingers curling a little further but still not really applying much pressure. You always treated him so carefully that he couldn't help but do the same back.

"And it was more than just…wanting to kiss me?" He nodded a little. "More as in…you like me?"

Seungkwan inhaled softly before nodding. "Yeah, noona, I like you. I liked you so much then that it just overflowed and I couldn't stop it before I realised what I was doing. And now?" He huffed a little laugh. "I like you so fucking much that I'm constantly scared my heart is going to burst from my chest like those cartoons from when we were kids." You laughed a little at his choice of wording but you didn't look like you were laughing at him. If Seungkwan had to pick a word to describe how you were looking at him, he'd say endeared.

"That much that you're turning into a Looney Toon?" You teased, settling one palm more solidly against his cheek while the other moved to press to his chest and felt the jack rabbiting of his heart against your touch. "Sounds pretty serious, Kwan-ah."

"Y-yeah," He swallowed, not entirely sure where this was going but that hope was flitting around his torso disrupting the butterflies that had laid resting in his stomach. "Can you please tell me if you feel the same way or not because it's driving me crazy not knowing, noona," He whispered pleadingly. You smiled gently at him then leaned in to press your lips to his. Seungkwan's hands tightened around your arms and his eyes closed as he kissed you back with his face warming dramatically. "Y-you do? You like me too?" He asked for clarification purposes when you leaned back and watched his eyes flutter open.

"Yeah, Seungkwan, I like you too." You confirmed then giggled when he surged in to kiss you, not that it really worked when you were giggling and he was smiling brightly.

"Let me take you on a date tomorrow." He requested.

"I can't," You frowned a little, which worsened when you watched his face fall. "I promised to go to the spa with your mum tomorrow."

"What?" He blinked at you dumbly. "The spa? With my mum?" You nodded. "Uh…what?"

"Apparently you've told her a bunch of times that I'm the one who always tells you what skincare products to use so she wanted my opinion for her own skin and then it kind of quickly went from agreeing to go product shopping with her to skipping all that and going to the spa."

"Oh," Slowly, Seungkwan's cheeks lifted as he smiled. "I like that, that you're going to do something with my mum. I'm really happy that you get along with my family."

"Me too. I was nervous but they've been so welcoming to me. Sprinkled with not-so-subtle hints that you should be getting married to start a family of your own." You giggled when he whined and tilted down to hide embarrassedly against your neck. You wound your arms around his neck and played with his hair gently to not ruin the styling. Seungkwan's complaints fell silent, too content being in your arms for the first time to be anything but happy while his arms went around your waist. "You have things to do," You remembered after a minute of just holding each other.

"I want to do this."

"We can do this whenever we want, Kwan-ah, Naeryin-unnie only gets her wedding once. At least I hope so, I hope this is a long happy marriage for her, she deserves it."

"She does." He agreed and straightened up to look at you. "I know-I know it's not quite the same, but you deserve a long, happy relationship too, noona. And I hope I can be the person who gives it to you. If you'll have me?"

"Kwan-ah," You exhaled fondly and couldn't help but kiss him softly.

"Yes? Yes, you'll let me?" He asked, hope thick in his voice.

"Unnie will kill us for getting together on her wedding."

"She wo- okay, she would." He sighed heavily and slumped a little, lips turning pouty. "I've wanted to call you my girlfriend for so long and now I'm stopped again just when I thought it was really going to happen. Because my sister wants all the attention."

"Let her have it." You giggled.

His lips pouted further. "I can't call you my girlfriend now because of my sister and can't take you on a date tomorrow because of my mum, what's even the point of confessing?"

"You're so dramatic, Kwan-ah." You teased, tugging on his ear a little and noticed him trying to fight the twitch of his lips giving away his smile. "I have a good reason for confession regardless of the current holdbacks in being together." He tilted his head a little in question. You smirked then kissed him, mouth moving slowly this time, all lingering and none of the sweetness of earlier. Seungkwan couldn't help but groan slightly, soft and barely audible but still present as he tilted further into the kiss to match the intensity as his fingers curled into your hips.

"Think that kinda makes it worse." He murmured a few minutes later, some of your lipstick on his lips and your own a little smeared. He had the sudden urge to lean back in and make it even worse, ruin your makeup and take you apart. But he didn't, he proved to himself that he had self-control and leaned back.

"So no to doing that again?"

"I didn't say that," He rushed making you laugh. He smiled and pecked your lips before moving back. "You should fix your lipstick, baby." Your eyes widened a little at the petname. "Is-is that too much?" He asked, cheeks flushed and not just from the kiss.

"Hell no," You answered immediately then grabbed his face to kiss again. He couldn't help but kiss you back, hands secure on your waist. "Call me all the petnames you want, sweetheart."

It was Seungkwan who surged back in then, pushing you back against the dresser behind you making you gasp into the kiss. For a split second, Seungkwan wondered if putting his tongue in your mouth was too far but then it was already happening and your fingers were curling into his hair to keep him close.

You both knew that you really should not be making out, especially so heavily right then. Seungkwan really did have duties to attend to in order for the wedding to go ahead properly in a little under an hour. But you both got caught up in each other's mouths until Seungkwan's phone started to ring in his back pocket.

"Fuck, fuck, okay," Seungkwan panted out, reluctantly pulling away. Your lipstick was a complete mess now and he knew that you would need to redo your makeup and no doubt his too. He couldn't help but kiss you again as he pulled out his phone to lift. "You're going to drive me insane, you know?" He chuckled, pushing back with his hand pressed against the dresser at your side.

"Likewise," You replied simply, watching him heavily as he answered the call of his oldest sister asking where he was.

"Getting ready." He spoke into the device, eyes roaming over your body openly now that he could. "Mm, noona's going to do my makeup and hair for me then I'll be there." He hummed again in response to whatever Yerin said then hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. "I want to kiss you again but I know they'll come to drag me off if I'm not there soon."

"Mm, better keep our hands and lips to ourselves then." You pushed off of the dresser and walked over to pick up the makeup wipes from the dressing table where everything was still laid out. "Come on," You encouraged, pointing to the stool with one hand, the other already wiping off your badly smeared lipstick. Seungkwan moved his phone into his inner blazer pocket before obediently sitting down and grabbing a wipe himself to remove the mess on him too. As he worked he wondered if maybe he had a kink for smeared lipstick, because he really hadn't wanted either of you to remove it and could easily imagine you in various lipsticks under him, the colour smeared across your face and down your neck. And he was really fucking into it.

You went into professional mode once the products were in your hands and Seungkwan easily followed suit without consciously doing so. You both had a job to do here regardless of your own feelings and you would both feel endlessly guilty if anything went wrong because of you.

After two years of working with Seventeen, you had Seungkwan's makeup done swiftly then fixed his hair into place before sending him off. He leaned over to press one last kiss to your lips, this one soft and short then he rushed off leaving you grinning to yourself as you cleaned up his room.

In the end, the wedding went off without a hitch even if Naeryin had turned into an anxious mess at the last second and had to be talked down by her entire bridal team while you hovered at the side awkwardly with a little bag of emergency makeup supplies in hand in case Naeryin needed a touch up during the afternoon. Which she did need then, and also after the actual marriage ceremony itself when she cried happily at her new husband's sweet vows.

But after that, you were constantly swept away by various family members wanting to know you because it seemed that all of Seungkwan's family liked to gossip. And despite his sister literally getting married, they were all fascinated by the young woman in attendance who their dear Seungkwanie spent most of his time with in Seoul, both in and out of work. Despite that, you did genuinely enjoy yourself and loved meeting his family and old family friends who were in attendance. The stories of little Seungkwan were also a great joy for you, you just wished there had been pictures too.

Still, a little after sunset while the sky was still tinted orange, you needed a break so you escaped the beautiful hall full of people happily talking and dancing to the loud music, and wandered to the beach just a few minutes away; part of the resort so thankfully hidden from the general public. There were a few resort goers dotted along the beach but none of them paid you any attention as you walked along the sand, heels dangling in your left hand and enjoying the calm.

Seungkwan had noticed a lack of you pretty quickly, always swivelling his head around to make sure that his relatives weren't being too much meaning he'd need to intervene, but you had always been smiling and looking genuinely happy that he left you alone mostly. And when he had seen you holding his baby cousin and dancing with her, smiling brightly as the one-year-old giggled away in your arms, Seungkwan knew he definitely could not approach you then because he just knew he'd kiss you and ask you to forget about his sister and be his already regardless of the group you had been standing with. Something about you with kids had always gotten to him and now seeing you with a kid that shared his blood, well he was really understanding that his subconscious had been trying to tell him that you'd be good with your shared kids.

But when he noticed your presence gone entirely, he grew distracted until the bride herself slapped his arm. "I'm talking to you, asshole."

"Mm, yeah, I know, I'm listening." He replied, not even looking at her.

"No, you're not." Naeryin looked around too and understood. "She's probably gone to the bathroom, relax little bro, Y/N is fine."

"She's not good with all this; people and noise." He replied, frowning a little in open concern. "She always has to take breaks."

"Then she's taking a break. If it's normal, why are you so worried?"

"Because I know where she takes her breaks in Seoul, I don't know where she is right now."

"Wow," The low whistle made Seungkwan look at his sister. He only intended a quick glance but the smirk on her face wouldn't let him look away. "You're really whipped for her, huh?"

"Uhm," Seungkwan eloquently replied, cheeks pinkening a little.

"For what it's worth, I'm very positive it's mutual."

"I…I know." He admitted, looking down and fiddling with the rolled cuff of his silky shirt, jacket long ago removed thanks to the heat in the hall.

"You know?" He nodded. "As in you left your girlfriend alone the past hours for our overbearing relatives to grill?!" She reached out and hit him again, harder this time making him yell a little in complaint and step away, rubbing his hand over the impact spot on his upper arm.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"What?" She deadpanned. "You confessed to each other and you're not together? You're dumber than I thought, Seungkwan."

"It's because of you!" He defended poutily. "It happened today and we didn't want to distract from your day by getting together!"

"Are you serious?" He nodded and suddenly was pulled into a hug. "I appreciate it and love you endlessly for thinking of me but you really need to stop putting others first all the time. You've already done so much for me today and for today, Kwanie. You've made me so happy, now go make yourself happy, hm?"

"R-really? I can-I can do that?"

"Yeah, you deserve it. I think you two will be really good together." Naeryin informed as she leaned back and straightened her dress back out from the hug. "Who knows, maybe the next wedding will be you two." She teased.

"Noona," He whined embarassedly. "Don't. She already told me you've all been saying I need to get married and start a family and hinting that she should do it with me."

"Yeah," Naeryin giggled. "Pretty sure mum is already deciding which heirloom to give her first."

"Ugh, stop." He hid in his hands but he was happy, so happy. His mother thinking about heirlooms to pass to you meant she had entirely accepted you as a future member of the family and that really had his chest ballooning with pride and joy.

"Just go find her," Naeryin laughed, pushing her little brother away a little causing him to stumble slightly. "Before my new brother-in-law does. Either way, she'll wind up my sister." She teased. Seungkwan glanced over to the older brother of his new brother-in-law; a genuinely lovely guy with a classically handsome face and tall broad build; he kind of reminded Seungkwan of Mingyu in that way. Seungkwan's face turned down a little with obvious distaste, not at the man but at the thought of him going after you. "Stop glaring like an angry pomeranian and go,"

That time, Seungkwan did go, leaving the hall to step into the much cooler night air. He knew that you loved the beach so he didn't hesitate in heading that way.

It really did not take long for him to spot you crouched down at the water's edge and staring intently at something. Seungkwan approached slowly after removing his shoes and socks, taking his time to admire you in the growing moonlight. "Is it treasure?" He asked softly when he was behind you. You looked over at him and smiled a little before nodding. You then reached into the water to dig around in the wet sand while he just watched. Then you pulled your hand out and sent a finger heart his way with a cheeky grin while he cracked up laughing. You giggled and turned back to look at the little crab which you had been watching scuttle around. "Ah, noona, you're so cute." He cooed when he had calmed and moved to crouch down at your side. "Ah, a crab." He understood upon spotting the little creature.

"It's cute, huh?" You mused and he hummed.

"There's rock pools a little further down," He informed, pointing down the shore a little. You got to your feet quickly, grabbing his hand as you moved to pull him up. He chuckled and obligingly got up so that you could walk along the sand hand in hand. "I just spoke to Naeryin-noona," He informed gently, adjusting his hand in yours so that your fingers could lace together. You squeezed his hand a little and hummed encouragingly. "About us." That made you stop and look at him with raised eyebrows so he too stopped and turned to face you. "She told me to stop putting others first."

"She's got a point, you can be really selfless, Kwan-ah,"

"Mm, I know. I'm trying."

"Good." You smiled gently. "What has that got to do with us though?"

"She told me to be with you now,"

"She did?" He nodded and smiled when yours grew. "Really?"

"Yeah. So, as we have permission, can I call you my girlfriend from now on?"

You rapidly nodded and moved closer. "Yeah, yeah, you can but only if you kiss me right now."

"Deal," He grinned then dropped both his shoes and your hand to take your face into his hands and kiss you. You squealed a little but it turned into a little happy giggle as you kissed him back, your free hand holding onto his waist. "I like you, so much, noona," He informed breathlessly when the passionate kiss ended and he pulled back just enough to look at you with nothing but joy and adoration shining in his eyes. "I want to be with you for a long time. I want to make you happy for a long time."

"I want that too, Kwan-ah," You confirmed. "I want to be by your side for as long as you'll put up with me."

He laughed. "Me put up with you? Baby, you're so ridiculous, you're everything good in the world. It's me who should be saying that, me and my attitude problem. I'll work on it and try to stop side-eyeing everyone all the time."

"No," You pouted a little. "I like the side-eye."

"What?" He muttered bewildered. "You like the side-eye?"

"Yeah, there's something really hot about the way you do it." You admitted, a little embarrassed to admit that but not shying away, especially when his smile slipped into a seductive smirk.

"Yeah? You think I'm hot like that?" He murmured lowly.

"I think you're unfairly attractive all the time, baby, just something about the side-eye makes me want to take you somewhere private and have my way with you." Seungkwan's expression dropped in a split second at the implication of your words. You could see the arousal swirl into his eyes at the very thought. You couldn't help but giggle, which snapped him out of the minor trance.

"You demon," He murmured but you just giggled again and his lips turned back up into a fond smile as he admired the way the starlight reflected in your eyes. At least now, he finally had the confirmation that you truly did look beautiful under the stars.

"Mm, and this is just the start of what it's like to be in a relationship with me. It's too late to back out now though, you're my boyfriend, you're stuck with me for a long time."

"I'm more than okay with that," And well, you know the phrase; truer words had never been spoken.

A/N; I hope you enjoyed this cute lil Seungkwanie story! Don't be shy to let me know what you think <3 Also, I can't be the only one who thinks his side eye is weirdly hot, right? 👀

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