#any small shells get put in a case so that if i ever get more crabs one day and theyre small ill have shells for them :3

[bunnyb34r]

Good news: the crabs new food, leaves for foraging, and the cuttlebone should get here today or tomorrow

Bad news: the shells, which is what I really need, will not get here til Monday the earliest :(

[aetheternity]

Pov: they catch you reading explicit content (6reeze)

A/N: I decided this is an in universe fic. Don't really need a synopsis because the title tells you exactly what it's about.

CW: Description of adult content, For some of the boys it's clearly stated romantic relationship while the others are more unclear. You can read them all as romantic or none.

-

Aether ~ You don't even bother to look up as you know it's Aether approaching you as you traverse through your favorite book on his couch. You can tell he's reading when you start to feel his breath against your shoulder and neck.

"Nosy." You mutter, smiling at his breathy chuckle.

You turn the page and not even two minutes later hear a loud gasp. You turn your head a brief giggle falling off your lips.

"What?"

"Name, you're reading a dirty book.." He teases "I thought you were so innocent too but here you are in my teapot reading about someone being ravaged." He held a hand over his chest, keeping the act going with fast paced blinks in between. Mouth wide as he continued to stare at the pages.

"You were reading along with me so you're not exactly innocent!" You bite back though you can feel embarrassment settling beneath your skin as your hands begin to sweat, face slowly burning.

"Nope, I'm an innocent bystander who didn't know what he was getting into." He playfully scoffs. You pretend to fixate back on your book turning away from him. Though it quickly feels near impossible as his mouth inches closer and closer to your neck. His breath fluttering over the skin somehow so much hotter than it had been previously.

"Do you ever imagine it's you in that situation then?" The question made you flinch. "You being the one ravaged by someone?" He giggles quickly after. Giggles like it's the most normal question one could ask.

"Idiot." You huff though it barely has bite. Your grip on the book tightens but while your eyes are scanning over the words you aren't even close to internalizing any of them. Not with Aether's breath tickling your ear lobe soon replaced by his tongue flush against your ear canal.

You squeak and the book almost flies across the room. "Put it down already." He grumbles kissing the shell of your ear. "Don't you wanna live like the protagonists in your dirty novel?"

-

Heizou ~ The two of you are the only two left at the station this late at night so when he sees your eyes sifting quickly through the words of he book he's intrigued. None of the case files on his desk had ever been nearly as intriguing as you.

"What have you got there?" He asks as he approaches

You shift your gaze to him for a brief moment before you head resumes being buried in the words on the page. "Just a novel."

"Hmm." He slides in place behind your chair, skimming along with you. You try to turn the page but he stops you. "I'm not quite finis.. oh.." He chuckles

"Let me read in peace!" You huff "Boss has been busting my ass all day. I need this."

He laughs, "You're reading something like this at the office?" He slides into place beside you on your chair. "You're not even the least bit worried I'll tell?"

"Can't exactly read it at home. I have a nosy roommate." You mutter "Pft, you're loving this too much. You're not going to tell anyone because you're too interested in how long I've been reading stuff like this."

"Ah you so get me." He chuckles sliding closer to you if that were even possible, glancing at the pages as you read. "So?"

"For as long as I've been legally allowed to buy these books."

"Hmm."

"Not going to make a big deal of it? Gasp in horror because I 'look so innocent?'" You question peering over at him.

He yawned, leaning his head against your shoulder. "It's as they say." His breath brushes over your ear canal. "It's always the quiet ones." He whispers and you can feel your skin grow hot at how close his mouth was to your ear.

You almost ask him about the paperwork he'd abandoned but you can already hear his breath even out. Small snores fluttering off his lips. He was Heizou after all. He'd most likely be fine.

-

Kazuha ~ Yeah.. he's not surprised in the slightest or perhaps it's simply because Kazuha's a roll with the punches kind of guy.

He takes a look at the cover of your book and a small smile forms against his lips. "Oh is that, Beauty and all things?"

You snap your head up, "You know this book?"

"A couple of women and men amongst Beidou's crew have been conversing over this novel. I was hoping to see what all the fuss is about."

You slide over patting the empty space on the crate you were resting on, "You can read along a bit. Don't worry I'm not that far in."

"Are you sure I'm not interrupting?" He questions but he does take the spot next to you.

You politely shake your head, "I wouldn't have invited you to sit if you were." You reposition to allow him to keep up with you.

"Thank you." He replies

You wait for his cues to flip the page. Normally a small tap at your thigh or a brief ok but after a while they stop coming.

"Kazuha? Is it ok for me to go to the next page?" He doesn't answer. You flip your head around pleasantly surprised by the soft pink tint of his cheeks and the way his eyes were slightly blown. His hand atop his mouth. "Kazuha?" You blink

"I didn't.. didn't realize it was a more explicit read.." He calmed enough to make eye contact with the clouds above. "Though that makes a fair bit more sense."

"Sorry Kazu, I thought you knew.. Have you never read anything like this before?"

He hangs his head a bit, fingering the bandages on his hands. "It's not the book.. persay.." He clears his throat. "Actually.. it's being with you.. while reading said book.."

"Oh.." Your blood might as well have drained out through your feet with how weightless you felt. "Oh." You repeated and then immediately yanked your head away. Breath catching, you slammed the book shut trying your hardest to think of any words aside from 'oh'

"Name.."

"Yeah?" You refuse to look at him.

"Would you like to accompany me to dinner once we dock?"

"Yes.."

"Ok.. thank you.." You feel his weight lift from beside you and when you finally got the courage to look up he was nowhere in sight.

-

Scaramouche ~ He'd just walked in and wordlessly laid his head on your shoulder. Well.. "laid" more like slammed his head into your shoulder without warning. Luckily he wasn't wearing his gigantic hat or it would've been worse.

You're quickly under the assumption that he's fallen asleep based on the slowing of his breaths and how quiet he was. You flipped the page becoming so drawn into the changing events that you nearly leap out of your skin at Scara's-

"What the fuck?"

"How long have you been awake?!"

"What the fuck are you reading??" He sits up pulling the cover over your finger so he could read the title. "How did they go from eating dinner to her tied to the bed post?" He looks at you in sheer disbelief. Mouth hung open and eyes narrowed.

A couple different explanations start to cloud your brain but when you open your mouth the only sound that exits is a long snort. Your breaths uneven as you roll with laughter. Sliding your hand out to keep yourself from falling off the ottoman.

"You're such a freaky weirdo." He stands and you almost get a word out but just end up squeaking and holding your stomach. Your feet slapping against the floor, the book soon flopping onto the hardwood next to you. "Absolute weirdo.." Scara huffs shaking his head, leaving you and your sobbing ribs alone.

"Scara.. pfft.. I can explain.." You call after him.

-

Venti ~ "What are you reading?"

You feel your skin melt as you look up from your comfortable sitting position on the grass. Up to Venti's softly smiling face. He tilts his head a bit still waiting for you to respond but in all honesty the only thing you can do is silently clamp and unclamp your jaw open and close.

"Oh, a secret then? Fine don't tell me." He slowly tiptoes his way to your side trying his hardest to glimpse the pages but you're watching him through the corners of your eye. Eventually he ends up on your opposite side diving to see when you remove your hand, like some kind of bird of prey.

"Venti!" You hiss. Turning the book over to the back thankful for the wordless back cover.

"Is it that bad? Is it a paranoia ridden post apocalypse? Or a horror suspense with a horrendous real life history that the author took inspiration from?" He crosses his arms still stood behind you.

You simply sigh staring down at the crinkled pages from where your finger had creased your bookmarked spot. "Just.. don't laugh at me or anything.." You flip the book open for Venti to read over your shoulder. Pleasantly surprised by how quiet he becomes.

"Oh ho ho." Venti sneers sliding a hand under the words he was currently reading. Probably knowing you'd slam the book closed if he didn't. "So a more explicit read."

Your shock was probably incredibly visible as he plops down at your side. Holding your shoulder for proper balance. "Aww don't be embarrassed, lots of people enjoy books of this nature. This market has a huge following after all."

You feel your face start to heat as you take in just how close he is. His fingers continuing to graze the pages before him. It quickly intrigued you how fast he was sifting through the sentences until a different thought dawned on you.

"Wait.. Venti-"

"Hmm?"

"How do you know these kinds of books have a lot of fans?"

"Ehe hehe, so did you happen to get this copy from Lisa or Yae?"

-

Xiao ~ He sat next to you wordlessly chomping down a bowl of almond tofu while you flipped through the pages of your book. When you'd peered up at him he appeared to be lost in thought. Eyes trained off the balcony to the surrounding area, lost in the beauty of it all.

You carefully flipped the page beginning to get enthralled with the scene playing out in your head as words from the page filled your mind. Until-

"Why are you smiling like that?"

You wrenched your head up. Staring back at a very puzzled Xiao, "Ah.. this book.. it's interesting.." You explain blinking rapidly.

"What are the contents?"

A part of you wants to know exactly when Xiao had stopped paying attention to the view and started paying attention to you. Another was skimming through ways to distract Xiao from learning about the book you'd been rereading. It was Xiao after all.. surely he'd find this kind of content disgusting and deplorable. Actually was it even ok to show him something like this? He was an adeptus, was there some kind of secret law that stated showing books like these to adepti could have you murdered at the stake?

"Name?"

Inevitably you couldn't think of anything strong enough to take his mind off your book. Well.. anything strong enough that wouldn't also make him never speak to you again. You slide the book towards him with the page you'd been reading open for his perusal.

He sifts through the content for a brief second and you slowly watch as his face turns a deeper shade of red with each passing second. He sucks in a breath and before you can break the silence he asks, "You.. do you read these often?.." He coughs like he's clearing his throat.

"Yeah.. every now and then.."

"Hmm." He doesn't say much else for the rest of the night or even to you the next day when he leaves for patrol. For a brief moment you're worried he's still extremely uncomfortable over your reading choices.

You head out for the day as well doing your normal errands and while you're on your way back the thoughts about his face and how flushed he'd been started to dawn on you again. He didn't seem uneasy because of you, just the content itself.. maybe it had been a bad idea to show that kind of content to him. He'd probably never seen anything like that before either.

You let out a little sigh, you'd reached a conclusion as you climbed into the elevator. You could easily just explain everything, maybe even what your enjoyment of the book meant to you and everything should be ok.

You feel a small sense of dread settle in the pit of your stomach. Every step up from the lobby heavier than the last. You took a final deep breath as you reached his door, turning the knob and nearly dropping your bags when you walked in. Xiao sat cross-legged atop his normally empty bed, the book you'd been reading yesterday plucked between his fingers. Your stomach quickly settled as you walked your way towards the bed plopping down on the edge, only getting his attention once your weight settled on the firm mattress.

"Your book.. it's.." He grumbles darting his eyes away. You can't help your breathless snicker.

"I assumed you didn't like that I was reading it." Your fingers brushed aside strands of hair from his forehead.

"I have no qualms over your desires to continue indulging in this. I simply wished to better understand."

"Mm but you hate it."

"I do not wish to continue reading it, yes."

[sgt-tombstone]

idk if I’ve posted about it before but I had an idea that’s been bouncing around for a couple of months for an au that combines both modern warfare timelines into one, and it goes something like this:

(for reference, this starts with ‘09 canon and moves into ‘19 canon! In this, these characters are not distinct, with the exception of Gaz)

————

Soap passes SAS selection, youngest candidate ever, and gets put on Price’s team. Together with Gaz and a small SAS team, the fight against Ultranationalists, gaining allies in Nikolai, loyalists, and USMCs. The death of Victor and Imran Zakhaev leads to the creation of the 141, which includes Soap, Price, Gaz, and Roach, under the command of General Shepherd. Ghost is added after he escapes and kills Roba.

The 141 is sent after Makarov, where Soap gets injured and Price gets captured, presumably killed. Soap gets promoted to captain and becomes field commander of the 141 (Ghost was asked, but rejected the promotion; Soap was always a better leader than him anyway). Soap and Ghost get close, or as close as they’ll let themselves get for being a captain and a lieutenant. They dance around it, the unspoken tension, and never act on it, convinced that they can’t. Three years later, Soap, Roach, and Ghost infiltrate the Russian gulag to rescue an unknown prisoner, who turns out to be Price. Together, the two captains hunt down Makarov while Roach and Ghost are betrayed by Shepherd, who shoots and burns them. Soap and Price are declared war criminals by Shepherd, Makarov goes into hiding, and Soap and Price kill Shepherd. In their hunt for Makarov, Soap is killed, and Price is forced to give up because he never finds any shred of evidence leading him to Makarov’s hiding place.

Instead, he finds Ghost, who is clinging to life in a black site hospital, almost 80% of his body burned, and mourning the loss of Roach. Instead, he finds Soap, who managed to escape in the chaos following the botched assassination attempt of Makarov and go into hiding. Instead, he finds Shepherd, who wasn’t nearly as dead as Price thought he’d been, who’s slowly been working his way back up the political ladder, buying pardons and new staff and blind eyes until he’s right back where he was without anyone being any the wiser.

Soap is rattled by the whole experience. He’s an SAS soldier, sure, but he’s never been betrayed like that, never had to fight and run for his life like that before. His years of being a captain have taken a toll on him, and all he wants to do is restart. Do it all over again. So Price lets him. Demotes him back down to sergeant, makes him do the SAS selection process over again. His scores are just as impressive the second time, and the reduced responsibility lifts a weight off of his shoulders, letting him become a little freer, a little more talkative, a little more… well, Price doesn’t want to say immature, but… It’s a good look on him, in any case. The kid deserves a break; no one was ever meant to shoulder the burden he had to as young as he did. He doesn’t rejoin the 141 for a while, too busy recuperating from his near-death, getting back into shape for the selection process, and actually going through selection, which takes months on its own.

As for Ghost… he’s done this before. He knows this song and dance, knows the weight of betrayal. He’s weathered this storm before and is perfectly fine going back to his regular position. Still a lieutenant, still the Ghost. Except he’s quieter now. More reserved. He only trusts Price, and even that’s a tenuous thing on the best of days. He makes a hard shell mask instead of just wearing a balaclava, and Price can’t blame him. Roach’s death hit hard, the betrayal hit hard, and while he hadn’t been there to see it, learning about Soap’s short death had been hard too. So he lets Ghost do his thing. Watches as his lieutenant spends more time in the gym than is really medically advisable, watches his lieutenant retreat further and further into himself, watches his lieutenant hide from the world and become a perfect soldier again, albeit a far more unstable one. He starts wearing colored contacts that darken his irises to a honey-brown, and he’d never admit it but Price knows it’s because he can’t stand to look in the mirror and see Soap’s eyes staring back. Or maybe he can’t stand to see himself staring back, blue eyes a constant reminder of his own failures. He gets better on the sniper, more practiced at protecting his team, preferring to work alone but always ready to use his scope and trigger to show his loyalty.

The three briefly reunite in Verdansk, which throws all of them for a loop initially, because it’s the first time they’ve all been in the same room in years, but they have more important things to worry about, like keeping Soap from killing Makarov. It’s a close thing, the trauma fresh on all of their minds, but they’re not allowed to kill him; he needs to face justice from the law, not from the wrong end of Soap’s gun.

When Piccadilly Circus gets attacked, Price finds Garrick and adopts him, and the hunt for the Al-Qatala terrorists begins. They head to Urzikstan to find Sulaman, where his capture and subsequent escape lead Alex Keller, Farah, and Hadir to be recognized as terrorists themselves. Eventually, Price and Kyle meet up with Alex and Farah to hunt down Hadir after his betrayal.

They find him and hand him over to the Russians, then launch an attack on Barkov’s chemical factory, leading to Barkov’s death. Alex, too, seems to die in the resulting explosion.

After that, Task Force 141 is cleared and reinstated and given permission to continue operations. Their goal isn’t Makarov anymore; he’s gone to ground, likely never to be found again unless he starts stirring up trouble. Instead, the Zakhaev family has started reviving old family traditions. Price has to focus on that, not the twinge of familiarity and grief when he hears that Kyle goes by Gaz, not the tendrils of apprehension at the notion of bringing Ghost and Soap back together and with such a different dynamic than before, and definitely not the thought that he might be getting too old for this shit. He focuses on what he knows, and there’s little he knows better than the Zakhaev family.

It takes a year, but they eventually hunt him down and kill him, with the help of Alex, Farah, and the Shadow Company.

And then Ghorbrani is killed in Al Mazrah by the Shadow Company, under the command of Shepherd and Laswell, who knows nothing about Shepherd’s past. Ghorbrani’s death incites Hassan, which spurs the 141 to find him. Shepherd isn’t the one giving the orders, though; he knows better than that. Instead, he pawns the mission control off on Laswell, who directs them to Al Mazrah. It’s the first time Ghost and Soap are working together since both of their apparent deaths, and it’s… okay. Ghost obviously isn’t used to this new version of Soap, this chatterbox who seems so full of life, so different from his gruff previous commanding officer. And Soap obviously isn’t used to this new version of Ghost, who is far more reserved, less open. There’s a learning curve for both of them, but they deal with it well enough. They’re both soldiers, after all, and damn good ones at that. They fall into a rhythm of sorts, or at least a tentative understanding. Price thinks that it has to be good enough; he’s too busy working with their newest member, the only one who isn’t aware of the shared past between the other three operatives. It’s almost refreshing, the clean slate that Gaz, this Gaz, brings to the table.

Ghost and Soap travel to Las Almas to hunt for Hassan along with Alejandro and Rodolfo, and the change of location and new allies loosens them both up a little. Not a lot, but enough to start trusting each other again. Not that they never did, but still. There’s a lot of history there, and a completely new dynamic to get a handle on. Eventually, they catch Hassan but have to release him shortly after.

And then Soap volunteers to infiltrate the mansion to find El Sin Nombre. It’s the first time Ghost has seen him take on any sort of leading role, anything voluntarily putting himself in unnecessary danger since his demotion, and it shifts something in his mind, a fundamental piece of his psyche that had been holding him back from truly seeing Soap as his sergeant instead of his ex-captain. By the time El Sin Nombre is captured, Ghost has truly stepped into the role of Soap’s lieutenant and Soap has settled comfortably in the role of Ghost’s sergeant. It’s still not perfect, Ghost sometimes pushes too hard and Soap can’t help but push back, but it’s better now.

And then they get betrayed again. They realize Shepherd is alive and back in power. They realize the Shadow Company was never on their side. They realize they were played for fools. Again.

It’s infinitely traumatic in a split second. Soap gets shot and Ghost doesn’t see red in anger, he sees red in fear. He hadn’t seen Soap’s previous non-death, but he can’t bring himself to even entertain the thought of losing him now. Not when they’ve finally found a semi-solid footing either each other again. So he yells at him to run, to get out of there, and he does what he does best: he finds a good vantage point and he protects his team. He protects Soap.

He can’t help but to fall back on old habits, little joking asides that he thought he’d never utter again, but it seems to calm Soap down. The walls between them break down in those rainy streets across their comms; they take several steps back towards who they used to be, or maybe that’s just Ghost. Maybe Soap’s newfound lightness brings out the long-buried traces of optimism in him (optimism isn’t the right word, he knows; he’s never been optimistic, but there’s definitely… something… he’s a little scared to put any other name to it). He tells Soap that he likes him alive, and it almost sounds like a confession, a truth and hidden fear that neither of them had been willing to voice after their reunion. They share details about themselves, things that they hadn’t even shared as captain and lieutenant, and when Ghost calls Soap “Johnny” and Johnny doesn’t stop him… Maybe they can finally have what they’ve always denied themselves. Maybe this is their sign, their second chance, their universe-granted green light. Or maybe Ghost is just getting delirious with fear and pain and anger.

They make it out of Las Almas alive, and the drive to the safe house is spent in silence, as if neither of them is willing to broach the subject. Again, maybe that’s just Ghost. Soap seems to be busy trying not to bleed out in the passenger seat.

Laswell has to swear up and down that she didn’t know about Shepherd’s intentions or past before they trust her again, but her help in rescuing Alejandro and the rest of Los Vaqueros goes a long way. Soap kill Graves in Las Almas and Ghost kills Hassan in Chicago, and they can’t go after Shepherd, so they shift their focus to the next biggest fish: the Konni Group, who have rescued Makarov from prison.

————

The rest of MWII and MWIII proceed as normal. (Unless you want to ignore canon, which is very valid, in which case you can make up your own ending about how Makarov snd Shepherd die and Soap and Ghost’s happily ever after. Go crazy.)

I know a lot of people are very passionate about these two timelines staying separate , and with good reason, but I wanted to do this as a sort of thought exercise for myself. I’ve never played the original games, so any mistakes are entirely my fault as I relied heavily on the CoD wiki pages and timeline. If I missed any loose ends between the original and reboot timelines, no I didn’t (it’s very likely lmao, tying up so many mismatched plot points was pretty difficult but I think I took a decent enough stab at it)

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Wishing on Golden Stars [3]

Allow Me to Introduce...

genre: isekai, slow burn, fluff, hurt/comfort, humor(?)

chapter warning(s)!!!: feelings of internal frustration, dashes of impostor syndrome, self-internal isolation

chapter w.count: 4.2k

a/n: putting y/n through it uh-oh

“Thoma!” The relaxed body of the ginger haired housekeeper becomes strung with tension at the call of your voice at his back. He turns to see you stomping towards him, stopping nearly at his toes. “Where is he?!” You scold, pushing your finger into his chest as he rubs the back of his head with a guilty, forced laughter. 

“I wonder…” he trails off.  You feel your veins pulse before you let out a heavy, defeated sigh. Snatching a small parchment from your pock, it was revealed to be a note. Delivered to you via a different staff member and addressed from the Yashiro Commissioner himself. Scribbled in Ayato’s unbelievably neat handwriting was an inscribed message:

[I’ve left a sealed package for the Tenryou Commission Police Station at the entrance of the estate. Be sure to deliver it for me.]

You crumpled the note in your palm and had the intense urge to rip it into tiny little pieces. 

“He does this on purpose! That arrogant lord knows going to the Tenryou Commission makes me nervous, but he still does things like this!” You snarl. It was widely gossiped that the reason you dislike meandering around the Tenryou Commission’s property is because of your time spent incarcerated (of course, it was only the span of a day). Though, the real reason was because among the territory of the Kujou Clan was Tenshukaku… where the Raiden Shogun resided.  

You have now been in Teyvat under the employ of the Kamisatos’ for two years and it was about a year and a half ago when you finally came to remember that the Raiden Shogun existed. 

For the first six months of your employment, you were kept under pretty strict lock and key- always supervised and monitored. The people of the commission were always looking to see if they could ever catch even the most minor of infractions- of course they never did. The last thing you needed to do was fuck up bad enough you get kicked out. 

Then, when the day came where you had the smallest first dose of freedom, you were taken on an errand in Inazuma City. The Tenryou Commission territory was more intimidating than you remember now that you were pretty used to Inazuma and not so shell shocked by your situation, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that it looked like it was… missing something.

That something was the Statue of the Omnipresent God that was featured in gameplay. That realization sent you into a silent, invisible spiral. 

If the Raiden Shogun (and Ei respectfully), found out that you had basically just spawned in Teyvat, and further still in Inazuma, you were liable to get the Anti-Traveler Treatment.

Which boiled down to: if the Raiden Shogun finds out an Outworlder (in a sense) was in Inazuma and a threat to eternity just like the Traveler was, you were boned. Of course, the difference between you and the Traveler was that you had no elemental powers to combat her views, so you were significantly less threatening. Or so you hope.

So, of course, the moment Ayato heard that you were anxious any time you were around the Tenryou Commission? You errands outside the estate were always centered around there! It was the same treatment Thoma got when sent on errands to the Grand Narukami Shrine since Yae Miko makes him nervous- not that he’ll admit it openly, but he’s easy to read. 

“Thoma,” you say his name a second time for the morning. He gulps at the deep breath you took before making your tone innocent- too innocent. “You have errands today too, don’t you?” You direct a very distinct smile at him. 

“I- uh, something like that...” 

“Wonderful! In that case, since we’re both going off premises today, we can plan to travel together.” 

“W-wait, but her Ladyship-” 

“Lady Ayaka will easily allow it if I go seek permission.” It was true. Along your course of employment, you have become the person linked to Ayaka like Thoma is to Ayato. A retainer of the Kamisato Lady of sorts- although sometimes you end up swapping places with Thoma and work alongside Ayato for an undisclosed amount of time. Part of you think that arrangement was on purpose to keep an eye on you, but you have no proof to that claim. 

Thoma looks at your unwavering disposition before deflating and relenting. 

“I’ll inform you before I’m about to leave,” he almost whines. You clap once in victory before swiftly turning on your heel, and waltzing back to your room. You have no idea where on Narukami Island his day would take him, but you’ll be damned if you go out alone. He could drag you all the way up the shrine and you’d accept it as long as you didn’t have to walk to the Police Station by yourself. 

As (forcefully) promised, Thoma stops by your room before you both make your way to the gates of the estate. Thoma was speaking a few words to one of the guards while you wait with the Tenryou-cursed envelope filled with documents tucked under your arm. Behind you, you feel two quick taps to your shoulder; you turn to see Ayaka at whom you greet warmly. 

“Heading out?” She asks and you nod. 

“That’s right. Before your sadistic brother left for his long term business, he naturally had a last minute errand for me to run to the Tenryou Commission.” Akaya snickers at your huffing. You both had gotten quite comfortable with each other over the course of the last couple years.

When you were first assigned to her aide, you were anxious since you had no idea what being a personal aide for someone with the label ‘ladyship’ took.  Her easy-going attitude and gentle nature helped break you in; heck the first time you bad mouthed Ayato’s consistently increasing ‘errands’ she had to hide behind her fan or else her red face from holding back her laughter would give her away. 

Of course, it wasn’t always professional. You often would visit hot springs together and share all sorts of secrets or indulge in typical girl talk. She had even taught you how to dance a little, even if you were so bad at it. 

“I’m sure he does it because he knows you can handle it,” she tries to defend. 

“I seriously doubt it,” you sigh. “His lordship is a great man, but sometimes I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.” You fist comes to clench dramatically in front of you and Ayaka flicks open her fan to hide her smile behind it’s elegant artistry. She could practically see the frustrated fumes rolling off your head, not unlike a freshly steamed bun. 

“His behavior doesn’t seem to stop you from admiring him though.” Your previously steaming face has all too quickly gone frozen before looking at Ayaka. She had the same playful gleam in her eye that her brother has all too frequently. Her words process in your mind like a lagging phone connection before you were clearing your throat and using the envelope filled with papers as a fan to cool yourself with. 

“It sure is warm out this morning, huh?” Your attempts to slip away from the conversation’s direction of your illegal-feeling crush was stiff and awkward.

Thankfully, your reprieve came in the form of Thoma who was finally ready to go. He questioned if something happened seeing his Lady giggling to herself while you looked off in all sorts of directions in odd patterns. You quickly deny that anything happened at all and that you should really get going- okay, yeah- see you later, my lady!

“Yes, thank you. No..! No. There's no need for that, it’s my job. Yes, mmhmm, goodbye!” 

You've just handed over the documents that the Police Station had required from the estate when you make your escape. You always wondered if that the reason the Tenryou police force is so kind to you was because they had falsely imprisoned you years ago. You never confirm anything yourself regarding their behavior though. Every time you were there, they were kind to a fault! It was always so awkward how they would offer a snack or tea for the road, or even extra mora for compensation on a ‘job well done’. 

It wasn’t like you were going to stick around to explain your constant denials to them either. If they were willing to sit down and talk to you anywhere else away from Tenshukaku, you’d be happy to put their worries to rest! But, inside the commission grounds where the Shogun could just pop up out of nowhere? Thanks, but no thanks.

Even if the police station itself was more or less isolated from the rest of the commission thanks to the bridge leading towards the main buildings, you were not about to test your luck. 

When you finally leave the last inching grounds of the Tenryou Commission, you find Thoma obediently waiting for you. Feeling free of the burden of delivery, you meet up with him and put your hands on your hips while he hops back to his feet. 

“Alright,” you breathe, “where to now?” 

“Ritou!” He cheers and his sudden bubbly attitude- although technically normal- was a hop, skip and jump away from his push over attitude when you strongarmed him into coming to the city with you. Your eyebrow raises and you shift your weight onto one side. 

“Ritou? What, something else needs ‘Fixing’? Or are your ears just burning?” Thoma waves his hand dismissively and laughs as you both start walking off. 

“Oh, no. Nothing like that. Captain Beidou is coming back into port I hear,” he hums with a skip in his step that seems way too exciteful. “She’s got some interesting ‘cargo’ this time around- or so rumor says.” 

“When you talk like that- you sound nefarious, Thoma.” 

“What? Do I really?”

Leaving the city, you wonder just what cargo she’s brought with her. If it was a rumor, surely you should’ve heard it too- since you both run in the same circles more or less. Naturally, you know that Thoma's reach far extends yours, but still. In the back of your mind, you feel like you should know, but it never comes to you. 

You join Thoma at the docks, sitting himself comfortably atop some crates as he offers you a snack- which you accept. You look around the docks and feel a little bit nostalgic. This was where you somehow floated in from your world- from a different reality. Seeing it always made you feel a bit melancholic when you come by for one reason or another.

Soon, the ship Thoma had been anticipating appeared off in the distance on the water's horizon. The wooden dragon's head attached to the bow of the massive ship breaks through the clouds of the sea's horizon.

You still couldn’t get the nagging out of the back of your head that you should know what’s coming. It wasn’t until seeing the head of blond hair shining like stars and the floating white fairy that is their companion at the front of the Crux... the realization hits you like a truck. 

The Traveler has arrived in Inazuma..! 

While you were giddy at seeing their silhouette and excited on figuring out which twin it would be, on top of getting a pretty good idea on the timeline of events now, you also feel a pit forming in your stomach. Things were about to get pretty shaky in Inazuma and there was no way in hell you’d be able to steer anyone out of the way of the path. 

From the moment Thoma jumped up from the boxes he was sitting on while aimlessly flipping a coin in his hand, to jumping up and hoping down to greet Beidou- you feel like you have no place in the moment. It was the first time since getting used to Inazuma that you could recall parts of the game so vividly; seeing it play out in front of you like this made you feel isolated in a way that completely overshadowed your original giddiness. 

You weren't supposed to be here.

You were excited to possibly get to greet Beidou before she set sail back off the island since having Kazuha, a wanted figure in Inazuma, currently on the Crux didn’t make for a full-scale stay. The shackles of invisible misplacement bound to your ankles keep you in place as you soon see her turn her back on the three others. Returning back to her ship.

Thoma speaks momentarily to the new ‘honored guests’ afterward. “Now then, first things first, we need to get you registered at the border checkpoint.” 

“Um, Paimon thought we were supposed to be keeping this on the downlow… Are we just going to walk into the government's hands?” 

Thoma lightly laughs. "Don’t underestimate the reaches of the Sakoku Decree. You wouldn’t be able to avoid inspection even if you tried. So, we have to play by the rules… even if we’re kind of bending them.” 

Thoma wraps up his spiel before gesturing towards you, nearly completely hidden behind the crates that smell like sea salt-stained wood. The other two hadn’t even realized you were there. Paimon almost yelps at the sight of you peering around the crates Thoma has been lounging on all morning. Cupping one of his hands around his mouth, he shouts your name. 

“Come over here and say hello to our new guests!” His hand that is cupped to help his voice travel, moves over his head in an eager come here motioned arch. You swallow and it feels like there's a handful of sand in your throat. Clearing it helps none. 

You try and find your footing- both literally and figuratively- as you make a very conscious attempt not to slip down the few wooden steps to the trio. You place your hands behind your back so you could fiddle with your fingers anxiously on the downlow. Thoma gently gestures to you once you stand at his side with one arm, the other towards the Traveler and Paimon. 

“This lovely lady is y/n. She’s a dear friend and coworker of mine, so she’ll be sticking around for the remainder of this errand.”  

“Hi!” Greeted the so-called ‘voice’ of the Traveler. “It’s nice to meet you. Paimon’s, Paimon and he’s, Aether!” She points one of her small hands towards the male twin who offers you a friendly smile and head nod. You release one of your hands from behind your back and offer a small, friendly wave to the both of them. 

“I’m glad you managed to sail in safely,” you speak. Your voice is quieter than normal and judging by Thoma’s raised brow in your direction, he notices. “Of course, you were in good hands, I hear.” 

“Oh yeah!” Paimon agrees, proudly crossing her arms. “That storm was no match for Beidou!” 

You don't realize you're staring at Aether until his eyes met yours and you suck in a breath so abruptly, you begin coughing. Thoma, panicking at your sudden fit, rubs your back as you hunch over to brace yourself. Hands on your knees and face down towards the dock. You could see the water waving between the wooden planks, and you squeeze your eyes shut. ‘Get it together!’ you scream at yourself. 

Briefly apologizing and catching your breath, you reassure Thoma that you’re alright- 'just swallowed some sea air'- and that the whole process of bending the rules to get Aether into Inazuma and past the Decree wouldn’t wait forever. No better time than the present to get work done after all. 

Following beside Thoma, who was leading the way for Aether and Paimon, he gently nudges your arm before leaning down to whisper to you. Once more, he asks if you were really doing okay. And once again, you reassure him that you were perfectly fine… like a liar.

You again distance yourself from the Fixer and his newest mess that is the Traveler’s slip into the nation once he gets to Kageyama, the woman who would begin the long inspection process. Standing a way back behind the trio, you watched them converse far out of earshot as you lean against the side of the nearest small building on the dock. Switching between kicking at nothing with the toe of your shoes and grinding your heel in the wood, the Archon Quest from your memory was making you anxious. 

You had this bad habit back in reality that when the main quest took a turn from main, eventual playable characters, into NPC territory your memory would simply cease to work. Sure, you could remember some small details, but nothing major aside from the key parts of the quest. Closing your eyes, you do your best to recall what you can. 

Thoma getting the Traveler started which was happening in real time. Somehow getting roped into helping someone in Ritou with something since that was the only area we could be in thanks to game mechanics keeping us in Ritou. Playing letter delivery between some commission clans. 

Then there was a gap which makes you click your tongue. 

You know Thoma gets kidnapped, taken to the Statue of the Omnipresent God with his Vision being confiscated. You know the Traveler- in this case Aether- comes to his rescue. But before all that, you know he’s introduced to Ayaka and the Yashiro Commission. Then there's Komore Teahouse. And eventually Watatsumi Island. 

It was all jumbled in your head and you couldn’t recall what happens when or first. It was like a mental floating diagram with no linear connections. Your eyes open slightly as you glare down at the wooden pier. 

Although you had no plans on playing some sort of clairvoyant hero or anything, you think that maybe with enough information you could be at least some help.

Even if it seemed pointless.

You were just a normal person by Teyvat’s standards. You have no Vision and you were pretty certain that you would stay Visionless, since giving something like elemental power to a second Outworlder would be playing with fire. It wasn’t like you had been training as a warrior or had any some innate combat skills like Thoma or Ayaka did with their battle experience. 

It was frustrating. So frustrating. All you have to work with is an unreliable memory of events. 

You jump when Thoma places his hand on your shoulder. His look of concern made you even more frustrated. Still, you take a breath to calm down. There was no use getting irritated at anyone when it was no one’s fault but yours. 

“Thoma," you begin, "you’re taking them to the Outlanders Affair Agency, right?” The ginger nods, confirming what you had been through once before. It was a simple affair getting your identity sorted out two years ago- or rather forged- when Kamisato Ayato was involved. You were more or less familiar with the process.

Still, the added knowledge of the game, you know the whole ordeal could take a while.

“I’m… going back to the estate. I promised Lady Akaya I wouldn’t be long,” you lie. You just want to go off and clear your head. The walk back would be good for clearing your mind you hope. 

The pyro user seems hesitant on letting you go back alone. The nurturer in him wanted you to sit tight and he’d escort you back himself with Aether following later; however, the haunted glimmer in your eye and insistent gnawing on your lip told him that you want to leave. To Thoma who's been working with you the entire time you’ve been in Inazuma, he knows you’re trying to get away from something. He just wishes he knew what it is.

“I understand,” he nods. Trying to suggest anything to try and postpone or stop you would only worsen your condition. 

Placing his hand on your head, he ruffles your hair up to which you glare not so threatening up at him. “Please be careful. You know what to do if you run into any trouble along the way.” Thoma had once taught you some basic self-defense under the pretense of you being stronger than the average working woman- whatever that meant. Sure, you could toss around the samurai who patrol around the Yashiro Headquarters with little effort, but you never thought that to be all that impressive. Anyone could do that. It's Teyvat where extraordinary people can pop up anywhere.

“I do. I’ll see you back at the residence when you finish up your ‘test’. Don’t tease the Trav- Aether,” you correct, “too much.” With no promises to make the process easy on the blond, you were soon leaving Thoma behind in Ritou; feeling about as alone and frustrated as you did the first time you ever did two years ago. 

When you return to the residence, Ayaka quickly picks up on your foul mood. She asks about it briefly, wondering if you were still upset about Ayato’s decision to send you towards the police station before leaving. Reassuring her it was nothing of the sort did nothing but make her worry more. Still you were insistent that you were fine.

There wasn’t anything to say or do about feeling isolated in Teyvat. Thoma might understand since he’d experienced what longing for home feels like, being from Mondstadt and being relatively stuck in Inazuma. Still, you wouldn’t be able to be truthful with him in the long term, since your home wasn’t in Teyvat. 

When Thoma sends words of his actions in bringing Aether to the estate from Komore Teahouse, you help Ayaka ready herself and the screen she is to stand behind out of Aether's field of view. It was the proper thing to do when greeting someone not of the Kamisato circle as the Young Lady, much less a stranger. 

Thoma had already given his two-cents on the subject of Aether’s opinion on the current state of affairs in his message. With both your personal and in-game knowledge, you agree with Aether. It isn't his problem- and shouldn't have to be. “Don’t expect anything,” you tell your lady. 

When the three of them arrive, you take your place, sitting on the floor with your knees tucked neatly under you as Ayaka stood, facing the screen with her fan open and over the lower part of her face- an unconsciously useless action. You sit on pins and needles as she speaks to Aether. When he interrupts her, your eyes shut in expectancy. 'Here we go.'

“I’m just here to meet the Raiden Shogun. I did not come to start a rebellion,” he says. You hear Ayaka’s voice hitch in her throat before Thoma is sighing on the other side of the screen with Aether. 

“See, milady,” Thoma deflates, “it’s just as I said… this will take us nowhere…” 

“I’m going to leave now,” Aether declares. Turning his back to the screen, Paimon floating loyally at his side. Ayaka’s last ditch effort reaches out in the form of desperate pleas for him to wait. She explains that if he fulfills three wishes for her, she’ll concede and make an opportunity for him to meet with the Raiden Shogun. With no other options, Paimon and Aether agree. 

Aether and Paimon soon leave to find and check after the people who had fallen victim to the Vision Hunt Decree and had their Visions' confiscated. Ayaka brings your state of mind back to the present through her musings. You were stuck in an uncomfortable sort of in between. That consisting of the Kamisato Estate and the long-abandoned apartment in your previous reality. 

“What should I do if, even after all this, he still refuses to lend his aid?” Ayaka wasn’t asking you, but merely sorting her worries out loud. You lift yourself up to your feet and quietly dismiss yourself. When she speaks again, she is talking to you, or rather your back since you don't turn to face her. If she weren't your friend, she could consider the action-or lack thereof- to be highly rude. “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem so… absent since you got back from Ritou.” 

“With all due respect, milady,” you take a deep breath. Trying to shake this headache and heartache and frustration. You were becoming irritated with yourself and don't need to be taking it out on others. “Sending someone like him, who has nothing to do with our state of affairs, out on errands like this to try and gain his sympathy like this? As a fellow outsider who was dragged into Inazuma’s drama, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”  The space Ayaka occupies behind you is heavily silent. “Please, excuse me.” 

You head out the front door, passing by Thoma who is still present in the room once Aether cleared out. He looks at you for a brief moment before looking away, rubbing the back of his neck. You vaguely hear Ayaka shuffle around the screen divider before heading outside, not seeing the guilty look on her face or the worrying words she spills onto Thoma as you depart. 

a/n pt.2: our traveler is aether! believe it or not, i had pros/cons of using either aether or lumine as the traveler. and even tho lumine's had more i could have worked with, i still chose aether in the end lol. maybe its bc personally i prefer traveler!lumine, so in my mind i wanted to give aether a chance (⌒_⌒;)

hopefully, the more 'intense' feelings i tried inserting made yet another ayato-less chapter still entertaining to read (┻ ﹏ ┻)

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[saulocept]

sunrise boulevard

pairing: kenji sato/reader

rating: g

summary: After Mina’s “death”, Ken needs someone to fulfill the role of a babysitter.

And after your sudden unemployment, you need something to get you by.

It’s only through chance that the two of you manage to find each other.

notes: this is the first part of a mini-series ive been working on. a little on the shorter side. this was originally going to be longer, but i had to cut it since the other part didn't quite fit well with this. so uh. consider this as an introductory part?

parts: one (you are here)

No one ever tells you how hard it is to be unemployed at your age. Harder still when pretty much every person your age is living a good life, with houses of their own, and high-paying jobs they could brag about in their socials.

It’s not like any of this is your fault, not really. You weren’t always unemployed; things just sort of happened. In fact, you were a star employee, (or a former one, at least) in every sense of the word: you were never late, were never absent. You always wore your uniform properly, ironed the creases each night so they’d look more pristine than ever. You’d dealt with the customers perfectly, answered each of their queries as best as you can, leading them to the correct aisles when they couldn’t be bothered to find it themselves.

You’d maintained the place, kept it nice and spotless, sweeping off the floors and wiping off the counters. You’d probably done other stuff, too: fixed the light bulbs, cleaned the toilets, unclogged the sink, even repaired them when they weren’t working as intended – which was difficult work for someone not knowledgeable in such things like you were.

But you did all of them, anyway, without complaint, without hesitation.

And still, they fired you. No, not fired, but rather laid off – as they put it. Not like you can blame them anyway. The shop’s closed its doors a week after they fired you (again, laid off) which at least meant that they weren’t lying to you when they said they couldn’t afford to keep you employed any longer.

You’d be sad about it if you aren’t so busy trying to stay afloat. It’s not easy being back to square one, after all. It’s even harder to be on square one for months now.

It’s not like you aren’t trying your best either. You’ve pretty much applied everywhere by now, sent your resumes to companies and institutions, however large and small. You’ve even lurked on multiple sites, too, just to make sure you aren’t missing out on anything: Linkedin, Indeed – hell, you’ve even started to look for jobs at Craigslist, too, and even Facebook Marketplace, of all places, desperate for something, anything.

Not like you’ve ever had an array of skills to boast about. You know the basics, obviously, but you don’t have a doctorate degree, or some kind of Masters. You know a lot about kaiju; years of watching Godzilla at the orphanage with the other children had given you more knowledge about them than anything you could ever do with (Godzilla, mostly), but you know it’s not going to be of any help to you now.

Hell. You’re not even fluent in any language outside your own – no, wait, you’re a little fluent in Klingon, but that’s only because you’re a nerd as a kid. You doubt that’d be enough to impress anyone, but there’s no harm in putting that out there, right? Just in case.

Maybe you’d fool some employer out there who didn’t know any better. Or maybe you’d make one of them laugh.

So far, your efforts have all been for naught. There’s no response from anyone, from anything: no calls, no emails. No text messages. Nothing but radio silence, and obvious text scams trying to get you to shell out money you’ve never even had.

You exhale a breath, pinching the bridge of your nose as you take a sip of your coffee. Instant this time, and black, because you couldn’t afford a creamer and a sugar.

You blanch a little at the taste, but force yourself to swallow it down. You can’t afford to waste any more coffee, especially not when you need it to stay awake. It’s useless; you haven’t slept for a week straight now, enough that you’re pretty sure you’ll pass out any moment now, but you still haven’t given up hope.

You stare at the screen, rubbing your eyes once more. You could feel the thrum of your computer in front of you: rhythmic and steady, familiar and comfortable. It’s the only thing that’s been with you throughout all this fight, not once giving up on you despite its multiple issues: old age, outdated system, cracked screen, wonky keyboard – plus a whole bunch of other things you haven’t managed to discover.

You’ve been lurking at this site for a while now, something you’ve only managed to find by doing a thorough search on the internet, scouting for new job opportunities.

So far, there hasn’t been anything new, and you’re already close to giving up for the day and catching up on some sleep when there’s a sudden ping, nearly startling you out of your wits.

 Still, you know that could only mean one thing. With your heart hammering against your chest, you hit the refresh button, watch as the screen freezes for a few seconds before displaying the entire page again.

There’s a new entry at the top, posted just a few seconds ago. You lean your head forward, squinting, double-clicking on the post, skimming through the entire thing.

Looking for a kaiju babysitter. Experience not needed. Knowledge welcome, but not necessary. If interested, send an email to this address: baseballlover26@mail.com.

You raise an eyebrow at that, looking a little skeptical. A dummy email address, which already seems shady enough at first glance, but a kaiju babysitter? Now that’s new. You’ve only ever learned about kaiju in the movies, but you doubt they’d need a babysitter, especially when they seem even more capable than a regular human.

Could this be some sort of a code, then? A message hidden somewhere? You read the entry again, starting from the beginning, searching for hidden clues, but nothing comes to mind.

Curiously, you click on the person’s profile, still not feeling a little convinced. There’s no entry outside the one that you’d just read. Hell, there’s not even a description or anything of the sort. No name, not even a profile picture, which just makes the whole thing even more suspicious.

Is this some sort of a ruse to lure you into human trafficking? That feels very likely, considering the nature of the job (babysitting a kaiju? Seriously?), but it’s not like you’ve got anything to lose.

Free room and board? Hell yeah. At this point, you’ll take anything that offers a place to stay, especially if you don’t have to pay for it, no matter how dangerous it is. Beggars can’t be choosers after all, and you’d be damned if you let this all go to waste.

You flex your fingers, typing up a short email to the address, attaching your resume and your contact numbers, mentioning the fact that you know a little bit about kaiju­ as a postscript– which isn’t quite a lie, but not quite the truth either. If any of this were real, then perhaps, you’d be able to impress the person behind the post.

And if not… well. You’ll know for sure at least.

Without hesitation, you finally hit send. Now all that’s left for you to do is wait for a reply.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

Can we get Riddler's reaction to SO coming home with an injured animal, maybe with a side of 'no, we are not keeping it' but they end up keeping it anyway?

"We are not keeping the damn thing-" Riddler Party x S/O

Oh this is something I'm very familiar with LMAO. I tried to include a variety of animals here.

Not to be lame or a square or w/e but as a general reminder, if you ever find injured wildlife, please contact your local shelters or animal control. These are fantasy scenarios and in most cases- wildlife is either better left alone, you will need strict temporary guidance or they need to be taken care of by professionals. In many places, you need a license to care and keep undomesticated animals.

TW: animal harm and abuse, mentions of dog fighting, medical procedures

Gotham

It all happens so quickly one day when the pair are driving in Gotham. His S/O notices what looks like a small brown bundle in the middle of the road and panics for Edward to stop. Before he can really get an explanation, they're shouting over their shoulder about a turtle, taking off their jacket. Then he's the one panicking as he watches them stop traffic to scoop up the animal.

The painted turtle has a huge crack in it's shell and a hurt leg. Not knowing what to do, they take it to a vet to see if anything can be done. Surgery, a fiberglass covering... A free sexing to determine the turtle is otherwise a healthy girl. Edward is already devouring the informational packet given to him in the waiting room. A lot he already knew but, well, it pays to learn more!

He's probably one of the few riddlers that doesn't actually say "no we can't keep it." There might be a brief moment where he questions his S/O if they even want a turtle- for the most part it's kind of... fascinating? They keep visiting the turtle in the hospital before she's released and he asks so very many questions about care and what they've been doing for her-

Before it's even been officially decided she's coming home and not being released back out, he's getting a tank ready. Heat lamps, a UVA/UVB light, pond, a dock for basking. A very strange amount of decorations related to questions marks and his special interests that you might not expect decor for.

This turtle won the lottery. She gets a very fancy omnivore diet with vitamin and mineral supplements. He even ends up cultivating species appropriate plants in the tank for her to enjoy and snack on occasionally. She's never bothered much other than the routine tank cleanings. Edward just likes watching her and watching his S/O gush over how pretty she is.

If anyone asks to pick her up, he will give a speech on how actually, human contact stresses them out so if you could never ask again, he'd appreciate it. He intends on her making it many more decades despite not having any clue how old she is now.

Penguin is going to hear so many fun facts about turtles now. Oswald might consider trying to murder him... again.

60s

A baby bird that fell from it's nest. He watched as his S/O tried and failed to reintroduce the bird back to it's mother. He even helped them weave a fake nest and put it up in the tree to see if their parents would take the babe back. To no avail. He was prepared to comfort his love if the little thing passed on.

Yet he watched his S/O roll up their sleeves and start making a nest of their own. A heat lamp that was originally used for one of Edward's plots, now for the chick. He insisted they could probably find someone to take care of it. He's certain he could light a cigarette in a public place and get Batman's attention if they wanted a more heroic figure for the job. With a sidekick named Robin, surely he has a thing for lost little birds.

Birds aren't really his thing, you see. Not part of the gimmick. He has nothing against them, love, but... perhaps Penguin? Still no, huh? The determination of his S/O is rather inspiring, even if it goes against his own wishes. Feedings every few hours, changing papers and blankets. Checking the crop. He noticed the collection of bird care books from Gotham Library.

He starts feeling more affection for the thing once it grows fluff. As his S/O gently holds his hand out to teach the bird to step up. There's something endearing about all of it. How passionate they are. How could he truly say no? It's when the feathers appear and the soft cries begin that they confirm they have a little mourning dove.

In devotion to his partner and their new animal child, he sets up a bird cage and perches himself. Reads the same care books, albeit in half the time. Once the time is right, he even builds an outdoor cage to allow the bird fresh air and stimulation that is safe from predators.

While he doesn't appreciate the mess the bird leaves, he doesn't mind the shoulder buddy. It does, however, make him slightly less intimidating towards Batman, as if he needed anything to help with that.

Zero Year

His S/O had a habit of bringing home animals. They had some... special certification, he wasn't paying terribly much attention to what- What it meant was that after they moved in together, there would occasionally be a small furred or feathered creature in the spare room off his workshop that needed to be bottle fed. He wasn't sure how he felt about the habit. It was something he almost admired. Wanting to care for something small and weak. Yet it was a vulnerability he could see being taken advantage of.

Good thing he's such a pleasant and non-needy personality that doesn't need all his S/O's attention! He lived with it. Perhaps he was better for it. Personal growth... even if at moments he felt jealous and despised it. He supposed they needed a hobby of their own considering how his "hobby" was so all-consuming.

Then they brought home the red fox. A fur-farm rescue. Nowhere else to go, they said. Edward tried to put his foot down. How would they even care for it? A fox... Ridiculous! He also knows it can't be tossed back out into the wild. It would die. His stubbornness holds even as he watches his partner cut their hands open on wire fencing to make an enclosure.

It isn't until they ask him, truly ask him, if he hates that they save animals. Seeing the pain in their eyes and sensing the possibility that they might even leave- he makes a decision. No amount of avoiding annoyances is worth losing the one person he truly trusts in this life. He builds an outdoor enclosure with catch doors and even sits down with the thing.

Winning him over was as simple as the vixen stealing his screwdriver and laughing at him as she played keep away. He was irritated with her, at first, yet as he caught her and all she wanted was pets and affection... He supposed it was also cute the way she would hoard boiled eggs out of his hand. Alright, maybe, just maybe- Maybe she could stay. Only out of his good will.

He gets to a point where she'll sit in his lap while he trims her nails and brushes her fur. His S/O can do the yucky medical stuff she hates, this is his time.

BTAS

It was a kitten that set his life upside down. His partner, his darling beloved, found it abandoned and hypothermic in a box after a storm. No indication of mother or another human coming to find it. His eyes weren't even open. A little tuxedo that mewled for any kind of nourishment and warmth. Edward was ready to call Selina to come pick it up- until he remembered she was currently incarcerated by Batman for a diamond heist.

It wasn't his bathroom being overtaken as a quarantine zone that made him upset. It wasn't even the alarm that went off every two hours for feedings, even in the middle of the night. No, it was how exhausted and emotionally tired his S/O looked after two days of taking care of him. When he said they were not, could not keep the cat, his partner insisted on doing everything themselves.

He was regretting it, to say the least. At 3am, while he was working, he could hear the alarm going... and his S/O snoring through it. With a sigh, he turned it off and began to prepare the formula. He went through the steps in his mind as he had seen his partner do for the past week and a half. Feed, burp, stimulate for the bathroom, make sure he's warm. Then he got in there and found a creature shouting and demanding to be fed and loved now.

Putting the kitten on his chest, watching his ears wiggle and feeling the tiniest muffins being made on his chest... that was the moment he fell in love. In that instant, he understood. This little sootball that looked like lint that exploded in the dryer- he was worth the hardship.

After that, Edward took on the nightshift for his partner. A few more weeks and their schedules could get back to normal. Ish. And their fancy well dressed man could be released into the rest of the house to cause chaos galore. Kitten energy is a bit too much for Edward, but he adjusts.

Telltale

When his S/O had stumbled into his workplace, bloodied and holding a blanket close to their chest, he feared the worst. He was prepared to dismember whoever had done this to his partner- and then they mentioned it wasn't their blood. Irritating, yet relief flooded his system.

He cleared a nearby table and watched as his S/O unraveled a bleeding, wounded dog. Struggling to breathe. Whining. A prong collar embedded into its neck. In the haze of panic, he extrapolates that his partner found it thrown away like trash in an alley. Even in this state he could make out the bite marks of other dogs on her body. Dog fighting.

Yet the mottled colored mutt seemed disinterested in attacking, even in this vulnerable state. Had she already given up? He was prepared to euthanize her himself until his partner looked at him with wet eyes asking if there was anything he could do. A tired sigh.

He knew some people with the proper equipment. Yet even as he contacted them, he insisted the two of them were not keeping the dog. He would help take care of the dog. Then they would figure out where she could go.

This lasted until one night in the lab as he sat at his desk, he felt a heavy head lay on his leg. As he looked down, there she was, staring up at him- tail wagging. Even after everything they'd put her through... she was putting all her trust and affection in a human. He would never admit it, but it reminded him of himself in some small way towards his S/O. Finding that love after pain atop of pain.

He stopped mentioning getting rid of the dog. Insists no one else will want a former fighting dog, so she might as well stay. It has nothing to do with how she cuddles between her "parents" on the couch. That she'll fetch things for her master with a dopey pleased look. And of course not because she gets accustomed to waking Eddie when he's experiencing night terrors associated with his past. Lowkey she's his emotional support dog and he's her emotional support human and his S/O gets to watch that relationship bloom.

Arkham

Despite Edward's lack of care towards the many strays in Gotham, his S/O seemed rather enamored with them. He comments that they should leave feeding the mangy things to Selina. Yet, he doesn't stop them. Then there was one cat in the neighborhood that wouldn't escape either of their notice. A mean feral that wouldn't let anyone near it. He'd wait for everyone else to eat food before picking off scraps.

He thought it was sort of charming how his S/O asked him for a trap to catch the beast. He asked them why they'd bother. It would appear the creature had gotten an eye injury, likely from fighting. He'd never expected them to actually catch the beast, no matter how genius his craftsmanship on the trap. And yet...

One eye enucleation and spay surgery later, his next question was when they were going to release the cat back out. Or call catwoman to deal with it. As his S/O told him neither would be happening, he began to try to put his foot down. No, never. You will not be keeping him. If they'd really wanted a pet, he could make one! Not this... possible mixed breed of a wild cat with a domestic one.

Fortunately they had a small spare room they could clear out for a kennel to allow the cat some comfort while he healed. Edward would listen as his partner going into the room and cooing. Followed by hissing and "no... No, c'mon-" and more bargaining. He shook his head. What were they expecting? You can't just bring a creature like that back with that kind of hate.

It isn't until one night when he's working that he hears... a meowing. It's strained and croaking. He goes to inspect the room and seen the one eyed cat staring up at him. A soft meow. Then a head bonk on the cage bars. Yet as he knelt down, the cat reared back and hissed.

Over the next week, he would visit the cat with his S/O. He noticed this scraggly, scarred cat looking up at them. Hissing less and less. Hesitantly approaching until his S/O was able to touch his head. Then they heard it for the first time: his purr. It was then Edward knew he was not going to be able to get rid of this ugly as sin cat.

The cat absolutely chose his S/O as his person, but that doesn't leave out Edward. The cat likes sleeping on some of his machinery when it's warm. Jumping on his shoulders when he falls asleep at his desk. Edward finds himself petting deep into his now-soft fur when he's stressed.

Selina will give him so much shit about this cat. Forever.

Batman 2022/Nashton

His S/O found the little creature after a dog had gotten hold it. A possum joey without a mother anywhere in sight. A few calls later, a wildlife shelter visit and lots of stress and worrying, they were told the possum was going to live... But not in the wild. There was enough damage to its body that even after healing, he might not be able to defend himself properly.

Edward tried to reason why it should stay with someone else. They'd have better care. They'd become an education ambassador, maybe! He... It's so tiny and fragile, and that makes him so nervous.

Edward is projecting a lot of feelings onto this little thing that mostly wants to hiss and cling to his sweatshirt. He'll just fuck it up, you know. The problem that arises is too many rehabbers in the area are full up. There might not be any space for the little guy- Faced with the possibility of euthanasia, Edward's S/O looks at him with dewy eyes.

How can he say no to that face? And the face of, he supposes, their newest companion. After faking some paperwork and certifications, they are bringing home a small possum.

Over time, he ends up relating a lot to the possum considering their reputation. They're just scavengers! They can't even get rabies! Yet everyone just seems to hate them for being born. He knows what that's like...

He does so much research on dietary needs since possums require such a variety of care. Protein, proper phosphorous levels, fruits and veggies. He really likes feeding him cooked chicken hearts out of his hand. Since they walk so much in the night, he makes an exercise wheel for the little guy to use. Builds climbing walls and poles for him to hang from if he wants. His S/O gets to help hammer nails in!

Sometimes Edward's S/O is looking for the possum and asks Edward... only to see a little black and white head poke out from his hoodie. The two of them know they won't have the possum for long (in the wild, they only live around three years!), but he's kind of used to shorter lifespans with his rats.

He's going to make sure the years they have, though, are going to be enriching and full of happiness.

[gourmetjello]

könig x reader : microwave

hey loves, hopefully könig isn’t getting too boring !! i’m quite obviously a könig blog for now but i would love to write about others too maybe a bit later, i was thinking about keegan, ghost, krueger or maybe even horangi? any opinions on these guys? (｡- .•)

you know the drill already -> 2nd person pov (it’s working pretty well!) and english isn’t my first language so bear with me. this will be a more lighthearted and shorter fic! i’ve been promising a fluff for a few days now but gosh, i feel like i would mess it up and könig would be to ooc. that’s just my personal fear though bahaha

also in this oneshot könig is wearing his mask / sniper hood for the first time ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) hope you’ll enjoy! (bunch of dialogue in this one ahaha)

—

the kortac base was always eerily quiet and dark around nighttime and it even creeped some people out. you weren’t really one of them, but you couldn’t deny that the thought of being surrounded by so many guns and other kinds of weapons didn’t exactly make you feel safe and sound at night. not like you spent so much time in the main building after midnight, but still.

one night though, you happened to be in one of the rooms because the microwave in the dormitory stopped working. it’s a stupid little thing, but it did indeed cause a mass panic among the people in the crew! everyone was rushing to grab their already prepared meals from the fridges, trying to get to the microwave first. they got to warm up their food and was all that mattered — however, you totally forgot about this silly tech chaos.

you stood in front of the already yellowed microwave in the shared dormitory kitchen, pressing every button you could possibly lay your finger on. it made a little beeping noise after your aggressive presses, but after displaying ‘error’ instead of the time, you gave up. it just wouldn’t start spinning and it wouldn’t light up either. what a stupid piece of technology!

loud sighs could be heard in the empty room ws your finger gently knocked against the already cracked and slightly dirty plastic shell of the microwave. you didn’t even dare to open the door of it and look in there with maybe a light or something — you were totally scared that you would find some kind of nasty black mold growing in there. which was probably the case. and it made you feel so uneasy! but oh well, soliders are so cheap — you thought and carried on.

you were fine with eating cold food, as long as it had some nutritional value, but when a bunch of people in camouflage outfits passed you with steaming warm meals on their trays, you just had to stop in your tracks.

“hey, where did you heat that-“

but everyone was too busy with eating their soggy yet warm food. they were all eating like they have been starving for at least three weeks! and the way they knocked you out of the way to get to the fridge made you freeze up for a second — gosh, these men (and women too, surprisingly) can drink a can of no name beer like it’s the finest liquid to ever flow on planet earth!

you quickly had to realize that you were on your own in this situation. or well, maybe not a hundred percent on your own because there was that small plate of clumped together mashed potatoes and a can of ice cold soup on your plastic tray. your fingers slightly trembled as you were about to pick it all up and sit down next to someone, pretending that they were piping hot like theirs — but you accidentally caught someone blabbering about how it was such a smart touch to put a microwave in the main building too.

that small little sentence you happened to hear was almost like a god-sent miracle, it made you immediately grab everything that was in front of you and you practically rushed to the lobby of the kortac base. it was pretty dark in there and you weren’t too familiar with where the light switches were there, but it didn’t bother you that much because all you could possibly care about in that moment was getting your food all nice and wamed up.

and guess what — the microwave was working. what a blessing!

you watched as the device light up with an orange-ish tint and you could see your canned soap going round and round on the little glass plate inside. the microwave lit up the entire room with a pretty yellow color, making you forget how quiet and dark it actually was in there.

the sweet little chime that played as it finished spun in your head on repeat like it was the best sound ever, signaling that you could finally eat after a long and tiring day. as soon as you took out the soup, you immediately paced the mashed potatoes in there as well, wanting to heat them up as quick as possible. it was satisfying to see the timer go down, and when you thought about getting something to drink, maybe a glass of water, you turned around-

only to see the barrel of a gun pointing at you.

you could barely make out the shape in front of your eyes in the dimly lit room, but once you realized what shape it was your heart immediately started beating in your throat. as a trained solider, you knew better than to make a sound in a situation like this, but come on. was someone pulling a horrible prank on you?

“who’s.. who’s this?” you asked with a weak voice, what a mistake. you knew you were never ever supposed to form a question when something dangerous was going on, but you had to know.

“i’ll tell you while i pour that boiling can of soup on you, how does that fucking sound?” the voice was familiar, but you couldn’t exactly put your finger on who it could belong to.

“e-excuse me?”

as the microwave finished heating your mashed potatoes up, it made three short beeps and the light stayed on, blinking every once in a while. the sounds it made broke the silence between you and this mysterious person that really wanted to commit some kind of crime on base, for whatever reason.

or maybe you were taking this too lightly? what if it was actually someone that broke into the base and is actually not kidding while saying all of these things? you knew quite a few people that could kill people without even thinking twice, the military was simply a place like that, but gosh, why would anyone say this to their own co-worker? it had to be someone who’s actually a threat. right?

as the yellow light blinked every few seconds, you just had to look up in case you knew who this person could be. and as soon as you saw how low the mysterious man had to hold compared to his own body and weight, you could immediately make a guess.

“könig?”

“huh?”

“what the fuck are you doing? put the gun down!”

it looked like something clicked in his brain too as he heard your voice again and he lowered the gun to his side, or at least that was what you were able to see. he then lightly leaned down but what you saw next absolutely creeped you out — he had some kind of cloth on his face! did this man totally go insane?

“i demand an.. explanation?”

“hm?”

“..like, i need you to tell me what this whole thing was about!”

“i mistook ya’ for an intruder.” he shrugged.

you stayed silent for a few seconds.

“you really thought that someone would break in all sneakily and.. warm up some food? are you being serious right now?”

“you can never know.”

“and what’s this rag on your head?

“rag?”

“yeah.”

“it’s um. equipment. sniper.”

“you’re not even a sniper.”

“shut up. i can be a sniper.”

“is that a t-shirt?”

“no.”

you could barely see what was on his head but judging from the way it just hung down, you were almost 99% sure in it being just an old t-shirt. the idea felt so silly, yet you had to admit that someone in a mask like that standing in this dark room would really make someone shit their pants.

“it is. you could have gotten a.. um, like, fake leaves. like others do. or that net on your head or something. you know, anything that looks a little more.. professional?”

“yeah, ya’ don’t like it?”

“i did not say that, just..”

“want a bullet in yer’ fucking stupid brain?”

“no.”

“i thought.”

“you thought?”

“i thought.”

“you thought so?”

“ja. thought so.”

“your english still sucks.”

“don’t need it.”

you took a deep sigh and you took a moment to think about how pathetic this scene could look to someone viewing this whole thing from the doorway or outside or anything like that. it was almost like you were watining for a cameraman to walk out from behind one of the chairs in the room and tell you how this will be a great scene for their next draining comedy series.

“you do need it.”

“nein.”

“what a great sense of humor you got there.”

“another joke.. and i, eh, really shoot you. understood?”

“oh gosh. okay.”

—

really short !! so sorry, this was all i could do today. thank you for the kind words, the many likes and the 20 followers. ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

good night!

[microraptorreactor]

Hello! It's time, I'm making my (somewhat rabid) speculation on eliksli biology while waiting for the next act of Revenant. This speculation is wholly mundane, but good fun for me. Long post, so it's below the cut!

Now, my first note that informed much of this post:

Riis was fucking DANGEROUS.

Or dangerous for pre-Traveler Eliksni, anyways. I have a pretty simple reason for this, and that's because Eliksni have a lot of kids. Seriously.

Irl, often the more babies an animal has per pregnancy is linked to how likely any individual is to survive to adulthood. I'm going to drastically oversimplify things here, but the more likely any individual offspring is to die, the more offspring the animal has. Any individual juvenile insect is very, VERY likely to die, so most insect species have hundreds. Tiger cubs have a 40% chance to make it to adulthood, so tigers have 2-4 cubs in a litter. Only animals with very high infant survival rates (humans, elephants, whales, etc.) can afford to put all their resources into one offspring.

Eliksni have about four offspring per gestation. Probably. We'll get into the nitty-gritty later. To my knowledge, there aren't any crustations that have clutch sizes that small, so to figure out approximate survival rates, I'm looking to mammals. For lions, another large social apex species that also has between 1-4 offspring per gestation, the survival rate for offspring is about 20%. This lines up perfectly with Eliksni. To me, that says it was tough being an Eliksni and shit was killing them all the time. Pre-Traveler contact, those adorable hatchlings were dying all the time.

"But Spire, why did you say probably an average of four?" You may cry, shaking your screen. Or not, I don't know. That's because of the exitance of Eggcloth! While, to my knowledge, the exact way eggcloth is created is unknown, one thing we do know is that it's made of the shells of eliksni eggs. And the only time this is mentioned it is in reference to crushing an egg. The specific line I'm getting this from I'm going to dig into, so I'll put the full thing here.

I should have crushed his egg and woven it into cloth; a regret I will always carry. "

Inaaks' great life regrets aside (no wonder Misraaks has mommy issues), she mentions destroying an egg and turning it into cloth. While it could be argued that this IS drastic, and she's just desperate, why would she turn it into cloth if it was? And eggcloth is a relatively common material made of broken eggs, as can be gathered elsewhere[1][2]. While in Achilles Weaves A Cocoon those broken eggs may have been broken on accident, with the other mention of crushing eggs in The Long Dark, I'm really not sure that's the case.

So, my theory is it's possible Eliksni clutches are larger then 4. It's just that more then four hatchlings need more recourses then most Eliksni can give, and the excess eggs are crushed and turned to eggcloth. One could argue eggcloth is usually made from the discarded shells of hatched eggs, but the fibrous material inside Eliksni eggs [1] may be ruined when the egg hatches, since it's only ever referenced to be made from broken eggs.

And now, let's talk about Eliksni teeth! It's confusing. I'll start by breaking it down.

I've divided Eliksni jaws into three sections (yes, I did figure out Blender just for this post lmao). It appears there might be a fourth section of teeth behind 3, but I can't get a good enough shot to figure out what those teeth would be used for.

This is the outermost section of teeth that are definetly for eating. They appear long and thin, with the exception of two cusped-like teeth on the front of the upper jaw. Thanks to this being an old model, the teeth are INCREADIBLY low-poly. What I can tell is that this layer of teeth is long, thin, sharp, and close together.

This is a pair of sharp and large teeth. While similar in appearence to rodent teeth, there is no corrisponding teeth on the upper jaw. I'll dig into this one soon.

This is the inner section of teeth. I have problems with how this inner section was handled. I will get to those problems in time.

I'll start with what's clear to me. Section 1, the outer teeth, are most likely for eating fish. Long, thin teeth like that are usually seen in aquatic animals that eat fish, as those thin teeth pierce fish like a spear and keep them in place, or hold fish within the animal's mouth depending on the size.

Section 2 is strange. The main option that appeals to me is that these teeth are for cracking open fruits or nuts. These teeth also could be used for separating fruit from rinds, as Achilles uses his section 2 teeth for separating egg materials. The top of the mouth's corresponding structure doesn't quite line up for this. There isn't quite as much of a structure on the upper jaw to press against as one would expect for that purpose. Section 2 might also be for display.

Section 3.... how I dislike section 3. This is plain old lazy modeling. A second set of thin sharp teeth, point blank, does not make sense. With the current tooth setup, it would appear that Eliksni are purely piscivores. They are not. While the full diet of Eliksni is never mentioned, they are treated as if they are omnivorous. Most omnivores possess grinding teeth. The reasonable location for grinding teeth would be behind the piercing teeth, but these are not grinding teeth, so that caught fish wouldn't have to go far through the mouth to be chewed. The reason for this is because in 2014 Bungie wanted to design a monster. Not a creature that lived in an alien ecosystem, but another thing to mow down en-mass. It makes sense from a monster design standpoint, but ugh.

Anyways, notes I have for now! As I get The Garden-Way I may have more thoughts. Or this may be completely disproven! Who knows!

[i-just-want-to-be-a-bumblebee]

Here is Chapter One of A-Z Sullivan whumps.

Trigger warnings: house fire, burns, vomiting, description of blood and injury.

A is for Arson

“This is madness.” Goodfellow stated. He stood next to Inspector Sullivan as they surveyed another burning cottage. This marked the fourth in the last month of fires. 

“I’m certain this one won’t be an accident either. We need to catch whoever is setting these fires before someone is killed.” The dark haired man replied. He could feel a headache coming on and the sight of a priest in a black cassock made it worse. 

The fire brigade nearly had the house fire out. Spectators had come out of their homes to watch, nearly an hour ago. It was something that bothered Sullivan, these fires were started in the middle of the day. No one ever saw someone fleeing, there was never someone who didn’t belong at the scene watching. And there didn’t appear to be any obvious link between the four houses that had been set alight. 

They were lucky so far that no one had died in the fires. There had been one case of smoke inhalation and one of the men on the brigade had received a minor burn. They needed to catch this arsonist before it got any worse. 

“Did everyone make it safely out?” Father Brown asked from where he was suddenly beside the officers. 

“Yes, please stay out of our investigation Father. Unless you know who is doing this?”

“I am afraid I have yet to hear anything of interest. I am not trying to be in the way of your investigation, Inspector.” The priest stated mildly.

“Please do. We don’t need you becoming a target and this mad person deciding to light up the church.” Sullivan responded dryly. He turned and strode toward the fire Chief, where he was talking to a couple men who had just exited the smoldering shell of a house.

“Is there anything you can tell me, Chief?” 

“It was intentional. Just like the others.” The man replied. “Whoever is doing this isn’t a random child either. They know what they are doing.”

“Thank you, Chief. Would you mind stopping by my office once you’re finished?’

“Not at all Inspector. Give me a few hours and we can discuss this more.” Sullivan liked the fire chief, he was no nonsense, work came before anything, and he took pride in his work. In another life they may have even been friends. In another life they may have been more. 

Sullivan made his way back towards Goodfellow and the Bain of his existence. 

“Dawson is going to come by once this is under control. I would like to look at the other fires and see if there is a connection between the homeowners. This can’t be purely random blazes.” He turned to the priest who made no attempt to remove himself from a likely official conversation. “Father, do you know of any links between the home owners? Any at all?”

“None that I can think of off the top of my head inspector, but I will ponder it a bit more and ask around. I am sure you’re right. These seem too intentional to be random targets.”

“Goodfellow, could you go ask around as well? People are more likely to talk to you than me.” The inspector hated to admit it, but he knew he came off as brash and insensitive to much of Kembleford. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Thank you for coming, Chief Dawson. I trust you were able to get the Thompson home put out?” He waved the other man in, offering him a seat and a cup of tea. 

“Yes. Although, there’s not much left of the place, sadly enough. Ben Thompson was telling me that they’re considering moving north, towards her parents.”

“We’ll be sad to see him leave the cricket team for sure.” Sullivan added, attempting to keep the small talk smooth. 

Dawson nodded, Ben was a good player, one that the team would surely miss. He looked up, not making eye contact with the younger man but able to see how his face remained impassive. He knew there were many in Kembleford that wanted nothing more than for the inspector to leave town and head back to London, the inspector included. But, he had always found the man professional, if a little stiff. Perhaps if he stuck around they may even become friendly. Perhaps if he stuck around they could become more than that.

“What can you tell me about these fires, Chief?” Dawson was torn from his musing at the question. 

“I can tell you that they're all the same person, and it's not a kid.”

“Just one person?” Dawson nodded, taking a sip of his tea, pleased that Sullivan got his preference right. 

“Seems likely. It’s all doable for one person, and doesn't appear to be a second source of ignition.” Sullivan saw the man hesitate. 

“What else did you notice, Chief?” 

“I think… I think it may be one of my men.” Sullivan eyebrow lifted in surprise. 

“Indeed? What led you to that conclusion?” Dawson set his cup down and leaned forward, trying and failing to catch Sullivan's eye. 

“I told you before that it's someone who knows what they're doing. But beyond that, it’s someone that has an understanding of how to put fires out as well. Middle of the day, so it’s someone local. No one is ever home, so they’re familiar with the house's routine. And, it’s never happened when I didn’t have a full house of men ready to go, so they know my station's routine as well.” He sagged back into his chair, saddened at the thought of one of his own causing this kind of harm. 

It was Sullivan's turn to set his cup down, elbows leaning on his desk. 

“I need a list of names of your men, Dawson. And I need you to tell me if any of them have been acting odd lately.”

Dawson nodded, reclaiming his tea cup. He studied the other man for a brief moment. Hard, determined eyes, clenched jaw and pinched eyebrows should not have made him attractive but Dawson found himself appreciating the look. Even with as much as he wanted to make his way back to London, Sullivan put his all into keeping this community safe. Dawson appreciated that at the very least. 

“I can’t think of anyone acting obviously suspicious. If I had to guess I’d say Nelson, McLeary, or Davis. They’re seasoned but still young, not married, dedicated.” He hesitated but continued. “They’ve been good men. They all get along with the rest in the house. But those three, I would say, run a little hotter than the others.” He shrugged, looking helpless at the thought of pointing fingers at someone under his command. 

“I would like to see your schedule for the days of the fires, and their personnel files as well. Please.” The please was tacked on. He didn’t want to appear rude. Training that had been beaten into him as a child kicking in. 

Dawson nodded and drank the last of his tea. “I’ll get that for you. I’ll stop back by tonight with it.” He stood and grabbed his coat from the back of the chair. He still smelled faintly of smoke and wanted nothing more than a shower and a good night's rest. Sullivan could see the exhaustion hanging off the other man. 

“It’s late. I have a few other things I can work on. Bring it in tomorrow.” Dawson smiled in relief. 

See he wasn’t totally oblivious, Sullivan thought of himself. Dawson nodded and headed out the door, closing the door behind him with a soft click. 

Sullivan spent the rest of his evening reviewing the other fires, the owners all similar ages, all married couples, not all had children. The husband's service records varied, nothing linking them there. The wives had similar hobbies, had all attended the same secondary school but weren’t close now. Two of the families had pets, one vacationed in the north, another didn’t make enough to take vacations. Different workplaces, different social classes, different social circles. Surely there was something that connected them all.

By half seven in the morning Sullivan was once more standing at his desk. He looked over his notes from the night before with fresh eyes, enjoying his tea. A quick knock on his door had him turning away from his work.

“Come in.” Dawson’s head peaked through the crack, Sullivan found him amusing.

“Wanted to drop this before I head in for the day.” He handed Sullivan the three files. He felt… guilty? No that wasn’t it. Apprehensive? That may have been closer to the truth. He felt apprehensive about giving the files to the Inspector, he had a bad feeling about this case. 

“Thank you.” Sullivan set the files on his desk. “Chief?” Dawson straightened up, looking attentive. “You’ve been here your whole life, minus your years in service. Do you know of any connection between the victims? I’ve been looking but I am not finding much to go on, besides that the wives all attended the same secondary school.” Dawson nodded, thoughtful.

“They all went to the same school, same year possibly? They graduated…what, six years ago? Maybe go around and ask the teachers? It’s a small school, they may remember something that I never knew about.” Sullivan nodded, he would send Goodfellow. The headmaster at the school hated Sullivan for reasons unknown. 

“Thank you, Chief. I won’t take up any more of your morning.” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goodfellow came back later that morning with news.

“That was a good tip sir. Looks like all three girls were part of some club back in school. The teacher that I spoke to couldn’t remember what, but does remember that there were a few other members, all young ladies but the others moved away-”

“So it’s likely someone they went to school with, which narrows it down by age to… Johnathan Davis.” 

“Sir, one more thing. There’s one woman left from the group in town, Cynthia Pierson.”

Sullivan and Goodfellow raced from the precinct to the Pierson residence. 

“We will warn them first, then head to the Fire Station to pick up Davis. Hopefully we can keep this quiet.” As they were driving up the road they began to see smoke. Sullivan punched the accelerator and came to a skidding stop outside the cottage gate, leaving room for fire rescue vehicles. Both men jumped from the car, spotting a blonde man watching as flames engulfed the small cottage. 

Sullivan ran towards the cottage as flames burst from the windows. Goodfellow had grabbed their suspect, whom they caught with the lighter in hand, too entranced by the flames to hear them coming. He scanned the building and surrounding areas, looking for any injured. Just as he was about to relax his shoulders he heard a small cry.

“Help… please!” A child, a small boy by the sounds of it. Sullivan raced towards the engulfed cottage, ignoring Goodfellow’s cry of alarm behind him.

“Sir?! What are you doing?!”

“There’s a boy inside! I can hear him!” He shouted over his shoulder and he kicked in the front door and dove into the inferno. 

Smoke overtook his senses immediately. He covered his mouth and nose with his elbow, but it didn’t help. His eyes began to water as he scanned frantically in the blaze for the child calling for help. Finally after what felt like eons he spotted a small shoe peeking out from by the stairs. He sprinted towards the child, falling to his knees, he scooped the boy into his arms, the child frighteningly limp in his hold. He attempted to stand when a deafening crack overtook the house and a beam from the ceiling collapsed onto him.

Goodfellow could hear the house crumbling down. He could hear the sirens from the fire brigade coming closer, he could almost make out the sound of the onlookers. But he didn't hear his Inspector. He had already handcuffed their suspect to the car and he tried to keep people away from the house. Minutes ticked by and he was certain that Sullivan and the boy had already perished. 

The fire brigade flew into the drive with a spray of gravel.

“Inspector Sullivan is inside! He said he heard a child!” Two of the men in full turnout gear and masks raced past him and entered the house without hesitating. The gathered crowd was silent as they waited with baited breath to see if anyone would come out of the blaze. 

“God will protect.” If he wasn’t already so shell shocked Goodfellow figured he would have jumped at the sudden appearance of Father Brown. “They will find him and the child. I have faith in that.” The giant of a policeman nodded his head, his eyes never leaving the flames. 

The two men who had dashed into the blaze were able to quickly find the downed Inspector and his charge. He was stuck and writhing under the beam. His suit jacket ablaze. They worked quickly, tearing the flaming fabric from his back. With haste that did not allow for gentleness they pushed the beam off the man and child, amazed when Sullivan managed to stand and stagger his way towards the door, the boy clutched tight to his chest. 

Cheers of elation broke out when he breached the door, quickly turning to gasps of horror as he stumbled to his knees and fell onto his side. Firemen, medics, police and priest darted towards the downed man, moving him out of the way of the firemen who were attempting to put out the house fire. 

Sullivan’s breath was a rasping, hacking cough. His face coated in soot, dirty tear tracks down each cheek. Father Brown dropped to his knees at the inspector's head and began to pray. The medics were barely able to pull the small boy from Sullivan’s tight grasp. They passed the unconscious child to another pair of medics and dove back for their patient. His left sleeve and onto his shoulder and back were a charred mess of fabric and muscle. There wasn’t much they could do at the scene. They loaded him into the transport with as much gentleness and haste as they could manage. 

“Father, you may want to ride along!” 

The scene had fallen silent as those gathered watched the transports peel out of the drive with the inspector and his rescued child. Father Brown held onto his right hand, muttering prayers under his breath. Prayers of gratitude for the man being able to rescue the boy, who must have been little James Pierson, six-years old, and waiting for someone to come home. He prayed that the inspector wasn’t in any pain, as he was unconscious since they had left the scene. He prayed that it would be a quick recovery, or if it wasn't meant for the man to survive, that he would be taken swiftly. 

The good Father felt his prayers dry in his throat as the inspector began to shake, gaining just enough consciousness to be aware of the agony he was in. The Inspectors mouth opened, as if to scream, but only a choked out gasp escaped. 

“Inspector? I need you to take a deep breath. You’re all right. We are heading to the hospital.” The medic stated, close to the inspector's head. He attempted to take a deep breath but it caused his lungs to rattle and he began to choke on soot that had gathered in his throat and lungs. The medic jumped to turn him on his side, just as he began to vomit. Strings of ash filled bile ran down his face and gathered in a puddle on the floor of the van.

“It’s alright, Inspector. We’re nearly there.” Father Brown could see the agony the other man was in. He shook so fiercely that he feared the younger man was having a seizure. It was merely minutes later that the vehicle jerked to a stop and the doors were thrown open. Hands appeared and pulled the gurney from the bus, rushing the still shaking man away. 

Father Brown saw another ambulance pull up, slower in its approach and additional personnel pull little James from the back. He was unconscious but from what could be seen he didn’t appear to be burnt. Father Brown offered a prayer of praise and thankfulness that at least that mercy had been granted. 

It was over an hour before Goodfellow joined him in the waiting room. 

The duo sat in silence for a short time before Father Brown had to ask. “Did you discover why Mr. Davis was setting those houses on fire?” Goodfellow nodded sadly. 

“It was over childish cruelty. Apparently the girls were part of a club. One that had some influence over the dating lives of its members. I don't understand it myself but apparently they were cruel to Davis, and he decided that waiting nearly seven years and lighting up their houses was a suitable revenge. He said he didn’t know Jamie was home or he would have waited.” Goodfellow looked tired and baffled. How another person could do something this extreme just didn’t make sense to him. Father Brown shook his head sadly. A lost and troubled soul.

It was nearly two hours before the door opened and a doctor stepped out. Dr. Aoki was a man of small stature, delicate features that made him appear years younger than he was. He and his family had come to Kembleford after the war, looking to escape the poverty of Japan. They had settled in well, after the initial outbursts at least. The village could hardly turn away a trained doctor such as Aoki. Currently he looked drawn and tired. 

“Are you here for the Inspector?” Dr. Tatsuki Aoki asked. 

“Yes. How is he?” Both Goodfellow and Father Brown rose to their feet as soon as he walked in. 

“He is… settled. He suffers from second and third degree burns along his left arm and shoulder. If we can keep the infection out he will not lose the arm.”

“You may have to amputate?!” Goodfellow gasped out, his knees going weak. Dr. Aoki held up a calming hand. 

“We hope it does not come to that. I have him sedated currently. He is not breathing well. Hopefully clean air and water help to clear his airways of soot. He also appears to have broken two ribs. He is going to be my guest here for several nights. Likely a couple weeks.”

“He’s going to hate that.” Goodfellow felt the need to add. 

“Yes, I anticipate that. You are welcome to come sit with him. Please don’t touch him if you can avoid it. We are trying to keep him as free of contamination as we can.” The unlikely looking duo followed after his brisk steps towards the long term use rooms. 

Sullivan was stripped to the waist. He had been bathed and scrubbed clean before dressings had been applied; they covered him from finger tip to chest. He was reclined partially upright and turned so they could see the expansive bandage around his back and shoulder. From the doorway they could hear the rattle in his lungs as he breathed in and out. 

“Is there nothing we can do to help? His breathing sounds painful.” Father Brown whispered in deference to the injured man. 

“We are doing what we can. I would have liked to attempt clearing techniques with him but it isn’t possible with the burns and broken ribs. If it worsens then we will suction out his throat and lungs as needed. Again, hopefully it clears up on its own. For now, keep him company. He is heavily sedated but he may still hear you speaking. Please alert a nurse if you need anything.” 

Brown and Goodfellow took another step into the room and claimed the only two seats available. They sat in silence for only a moment before Father Brown spoke. 

“Thank you Inspector for saving James. His parents will be so grateful once they hear. I know you do not believe it but I will continue to pray until you are well enough to tell me to stop.”

“I’m here sir. You did really well. Didn’t even hesitate to rush in and save that boy. You’re a hero. Now you can rest and heal. We’ll be here when you’re ready to wake up.” It could have been their imagination but it seemed to them that Sullivan breathed just a little easier. 

[septimusmoonlight]

Anonymous: imagine being like,,, a sentient sex doll. a pretty one, not one of the goofy creepy ones. a pretty little doll no bigger than maybe 30cm tall, but your owner is this huge guy that loves dressing you and using you to de-stress by shoving his cock into your silicone-insert tummy. maybe he even gets too rough and splits it open, only to have new ones ready to install...

Ooh, this one is creative! Being a pretty little plaything for someone so much bigger than me… You probably had a sentience in mind reminiscent of being trapped in a doll’s body, but I like the idea that there’s an option for sentient, responsive dolls specifically so that they can be toyed with and played with more than a normal doll ever could. It would just be cute if they were fully advertised with their moans and whines, their begging, even their screaming and tears.

Maybe my owner shelled out for a sentient doll specifically so that he could make it whine and whimper. He knows that he’s a big guy, so he figured it’d be easy enough to dominate something as small and weak as me. He’s right, of course - sentience be damned, I was still made to be a doll, so I’m powerless to resist my owner. The first time he lays his cock atop my body to show off just how much he can stuff me full, I’m terrified, but unable to resist as he slowly, slowly fucks me open, breaking me in over a period of days to mold my silicone body to the right shape.

After that, he gets rougher. The bulge of his cock in my abdomen is uncomfortable, but not so uncomfortable that I can’t take it. I was designed to take it, after all. I was designed to take his cock at all times, however he wants me to take it. I have to obey him when he impales me and commands that I stroke his cock through my silicone skin. I have to. My sentience fights against my purpose, arguing for free will instead of my design, but the manufacturing process wins as I have dozens of toy orgasms around a cock too big for me.

A particularly stressful day puts him in a bad mood, and he takes longer to return home from work than usual. When he does, however, he slaps a box of replacement abdominal components on his desk and then dangles me in front of them. It takes me a second to realize that, if he has the parts, he’s probably going to need them. If I were human, I would be crying in earnest, but instead I sob in a quiet simulation of resignation as he positions his cock at my entrance.

He jerks me up and down roughly, faster than he’s ever used me before. The bulge in my middle is more prominent than ever, and I scream, sensing that something inside of me will break. Much like humans, I’m programmed to know when something is wrong. I don’t have a traditional pain response, but my diagnostics system treats things like they’re painful, in a way. I just know that he’s stretching me too thin, using me too rough, pushing me to my limits, and I sob, asking him to stop, begging him to slow down. If anything, that just makes him more aggressive.

With the rip of silicone, he finally bursts through my rubber belly, and I scream. He doesn’t stop, his cock thrusting through the open hole he’s made, and he just jerks me up and down even harder. He commands me to hug his cock, to wrap my arms around it, and I can only obey, making something tight for him to thrust into as I sob for breath that I don’t even need. He keeps using me until he reaches his breaking point, and only then does he pull out and jack off to completion, cumming into my toy body cavity.

After he’s recovered from breaking me, he finally gives me the mercy of replacing my damaged silicone insert. He’s not gentle about it, not at all, and makes sure that I know he’s keeping the damaged one around - just in case he wants to really treat me rough again.

He also reminds me, with a grin, that he has enough replacement components to repeat this fun little trick with almost any of my body parts.

[skelemoonz]

Have you ever wondered when you are drawing transformers or the artists drawing transformers do you have to draw the inside of a transformer's body?

This's such a stupid question I'm so sorry- 🤧🤧⁉️⁉️

This is one I had to think about for a moment lol but if I’m understanding right you are wondering if I ever thought about how the transformers are internally built?

If so, yes absolutely I have, I frequently think about it actually, trying to figure out how they transform, how their body structure can change so drastically (more specifically talking about the live action movies tbh, like Kightverse) it has always fascinated me

To put it simply, I imagine they are built very similar to that of animatronics, if you want to get a visual. The frame/skeleton, the wire’s surrounding it, the plating put above that to act as a base for the shell or muscles of sorts.

More explanation, specifically for my personal au, under the cut. Warning there will be images of animatronics without their..skin? Ig? It can be freaky looking

So, for Cybertronians I imagine that their internal structure is incredibly complex, with their ability to transform an all, but in my au Cyebrtronians have the most complex transformation out of any of the other colonies in turn giving them the most complex internal structure. This isn’t even talking about if a bot has an experimental T-cog lol

While yes the general structure would be the same as I explained before, similar to this, the wires, the plastic plating acting as muscles or as an extra skeleton of sorts

I also imagine that the skeletal structure looks as if it can just be taken apart with ease, because it can.

A Cybertronians skeleton in their transformation will end up forming the skeleton of the vehicle they turn into.

To try giving a visual, ROTB Jackie turns into a VW Van with the back seats taken out, or in other words, hollow inside. Now all that robot jazz gotta go somewhere right? So his skeleton would transform out, pushing the armor out at well to make the shape of the van

to get a good idea of what pose he would be doing for this transformation, look at the ss and mainline figurine, kinda a mix between those. Transformation can be changed with Cybertronains though.

Now, all of this compared to say, Eukarians in my au is very complex. With Eukarians being half organic an all, they have the simplest transformation out of any colony. If they tried transforming like a Cybertronian does, their bones would shatter and they would most definitely die, it’d be like you getting folded and squished into a ball shape, very bad.

While Cybertronians are close to animatronics, I’d say that Eukarians would be more like crustaceans, or actually..maybe like a Pangolin, hard shell outside, organs an all that soft stuff inside (including the half metal half bone skeleton in their case). While a Cybertronians skeleton can come apart, a Eukarians cannot..

Picture of Pangolin to show what it is, show it has armor, this is like a Eukarian, and just look at them I love them

Other colonies tend to be more similar to Cybertron, like Velocitron and Gigantion. Generally speaking these two can transform in the same way that Cyebrtronians can, the only difference is their sizes, Velocitronians are fairly small, not tiny but…lets say (these are not the real heights) that Cybertronains are 20-50ft tall, Velocitronians would be 20-30ft tall, then you got the Titans, they can turn into cities 👍

Ofc this height difference and what they do in day to day life will change their internal and external body structure, Velocitronians are built for speed, their cooling system, sharp points and light frames are meant to make them easily fly and cut through the air while they drive like its nothing. Hell even their transformation is quicker than usual. They’re like land jets

Then theres Caminus and Junkion, these two don’t transform, they have T-cogs but they rarely ever use them to do big transformations, for Camians it was to reserve energy (they are also the smallest colony in size) and Junkonians found no use for it. So yes over the centuries these colonies have lost their ability to do complex transformations, meaning their skeleton is similar to Eukarians, can’t come apart, but it’s very flexible.

I imagine they’re more similar to this underneath all that armor. At least Camian’s..Junkonians are very messy tbh

Anywho, man I rambled…a lot..yeesh..my bad lol, I don’t get to talk about this stuff a lot

[da12thkind]

Tumblr and The Old Internet Re-Awakens, An Opinion Essay

This is going to be a super long post about my thoughts on the current state of the internet, with a chunk of what I'm about to say having been stuff I've already said elsewhere on other sites. To save your dash, I'll be putting a READ MORE break.

The fact that Twitter and Reddit have basically been destroyed by their own hubris is both hilarious and sad. It's funny because "ha ha rich man's hubris" but also sad because this is very emblematic of the current direction many social media companies that have been at the top for too long are going.

Ever since the muskrat purchased Twitter, it was clear from the beginning that something seriously wrong had happened, with worse decisions to follow. Something I hadn't realized was just how extensive the ripple effects of this would be. Reddit is now being destroyed by their leader's desire for more and more money, as if they needed any more.

I've been having this conversation with my friends via Discord and with strangers on the Starmen dot net forums. The writing is on the walls. The internet is moving towards a future that caters to advertisers more than its users. If there's even the slightest hint of getting more money by screwing over users, the higher ups of a given site will be chomping at the bit.

Where does that leave us?

Well, with Reddit and Twitter both now in a state of complete and total self-destruction, albeit rather slowly, we have seen an influx of new and returning users. Fantastic! I love when an old place gets new life breathed into it.

That being said, I don't believe that Tumblr is the bastion of The Old Internet, far from it, and many of you would agree.

Instead, I think that the resurgence in Tumblr's popularity could be just the first step towards the return of The Old Internet. We have the power to go back to the days of making our own websites. Information on web design and web programming are available online for free, in addition to many places offering free hosting services for a basic website or blog that don't need many bells or whistles (just don't go to GoDaddy).

Tumblr, in my opinion, once you know how to use the advanced editing tools, can make for a great "Baby's First Web Blog." There are some users on here that have made GORGEOUS blogs that will absolutely blow you away.

What about peer-to-peer communications?

We've seen that Discord has been another victim to the plague that is internet gentrification. They've removed the discriminators for usernames, had a store put in, and so many other little changes that have consistently annoyed the end users.

That being said... Discord is not going to be falling apart anytime soon. It's still a fantastic way to connect with many people at once and have quick access to all your different communities.

However, you could make the case, and I certainly try to, that internet forums fulfill the same thing. It is true that forums for many topics have drifted into the void of internet history, but is that not simply the nature of the internet? Communities sprout up, thrive, have an internal way, break apart, and start anew. We've seen that with many Discord servers, albeit rather small ones.

I will still hold my ground that forums should be revitalized if we truly want to go back to the days of old.

What does the future hold?

I... don't know. Despite my vast horde of opinions, research, and second-hand accounts of what The Old Internet was like and how The Current Internet is becoming, I cannot say for absolute certainty that we will see a total collapse of these tech empires. At the very least, however, I do believe that they will become hollowed shells of their former selves.

I have yet to talk about YouTube and its history, and, to be quite frank with you all, I simply must avoid that topic for now. All I will say is that I implore my fellow content creators, specifically those that create Video On-Demand content for YouTube and TikTok, to look into creating your own websites to host your content in the event that something happens to these empires, too. If you don't have offline copies of your videos, do so when you can.

That will be it for now. Thank you for reading this essay. I love your faces. Stay safe.

[spaced-out-muses]

🍌🍊🍓 for leetol mousey boy :3c

𝐅𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 | Accepting!

🍌  :    is my muse inclined to help others,  or will they only do it when it benefits them,  if at all?  what makes them this way?  has it ever gotten them into trouble,  or inconvenienced them?

I know we've discussed it somewhat in dms, but yes. He is. Sometimes to his own detriment. He's a very good kid, and if he sees someone he vaguely knows struggling for whatever reason, he'll want to help if he can. Like, even if it's like, just making sure they don't fall over from exhaustion, he'll step in.

... Even if it's someone he'd rather keep distance from for one reason or another. It's not like they've done anything wrong or slighted him in anyway, but he'd just. Rather keep is distance, yeah? He can and has ended up caving in some of those cases, but c'est la vie.

🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more  ‘  naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flings,  or crushes?

Romance is definitely something he'd like! It's probably more likely to seek him out than he is to seek it out, but it's still something he's interested in. He's got zero experience, but as a disaster bisexual crushes have for sure been a constant. I don't think he's actively in a rush to get a partner(s) right now (I say, putting on my clown wig), so I guess technically he's waiting for things to happen 'naturally'?

🍓  :    how is my muse typically seen by others?  does it ring true to who they really are?  does their reputation matter to them?

Honestly... usually he's not seen. He honestly thinks he's kinda forgettable. He doesn't have the greatest self awareness when it comes to people perceiving him. It can be easy to assume that once you walk out of a room, you vanish from people's minds, ya know? And, in a place like Shujin, that's especially the case.

But he's not!! He likes cream sodas, adores frogs and other small animals. He likes trpgs and roleplaying games, Bump of Chicken is one of his favorite bands, those dance-dance revolution type games are what he hits first at an arcade... He's got a personality under his "plainness," it's just that talking to people hard and he fears being Known. You just have to force coax him out of his shell.

[non-bionical-mecha-dude]

Hello! I saw that your requests were open I think. . . Anywhizzle. I have asked this to a few people already but I wanna see what different people will think and write. Could you write a Rise tmnt x gn yokai reader where the reader is maybe a dragon or some reptile with scales but the readers scales are always itchy? How would the turtles treat that? Also it was my birthday on the 25th and a lot of my friends forgot that. It would be a nice present is all I'm saying. Idk if you did a request just like this or anything already but I'm bored so ima follow you now. Bye for now!

HI! I know it's been like, idk, a year since I did one of these?? I'm sorry, I forgot Tumblr existed! Also, I'm very very sorry that you're friends forgot! And I'm very sorry, but, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY! Anyway, let's get this started! (I'm gonna assume since you didn't say, Headcannons, I'm sorry if you wanted a one shot. Also, this idea was creative and cool!

ROTTMNT BROS X REPTILE ! READER

❤️❤️Raph❤️❤️

He totally understands

At first when he saw you get super itchy, he thought you were itching cause you were nervous or something, but that ain't the case.

When he later figured out that your scales needed some sort of moisture, he bought like, 10 bottles of different kinds of lotion

Boy didn't want his lover to be all itchy and uncomfortable, but he didn't know what kind/brand was best

Constantly reminds you to moisturize your skin

He drags his fingers along your scales sometimes, which is kinda sooth tbh

Sometimes his skin gets uncomfortable and dry and itchy (since he's a more aquatic type turtle, his skin needs a lot of moisture) he'll borrow some of your lotion

One time you were itchy, and just started rolling on the carpet cause that was the only thing that was helping your itchiness...but Raph almost stepped on you and shrieked before he did

It was kinda funny, but ever since then, he's banned you from any carpet rolling.

Sometimes he boops his beak against your scales, everytime you ask why, he dodges the question

He knows exactly how many scales are on your body (not in like a creepy way, more like a "I find myself gazing at you so often that I've found myself unconsciously counting your scales.)

Would definitely let you use his shell spikes as a back scratcher.

💙💙Leo💙💙

This dude is super confused as to why you keep on violently scratching your scales

At some point, he just kinda starts scratching your back, like, you'll both be sitting on the couch on your phones, and he'll just put his hand on your back and scratches in small circles.

Eventually he learns about your whole skin thing, and he tries to set up a skin care routine for you

(you CANNOT tell me this fruity ass turtle doesn't have a skin care routine)

Man hooks you up with the best lotions and moisturizers

He reads to you each of the French brands of lotion he has, but he isn't pronouncing any of them right

Helps you put on the lotion in hard to reach places, like your back

He finds it excellent bonding time to talk about whatever while you both do your skin routine thing

He likes to tap your scales, feeling the texture of each of them.

You bought yourself a back scratcher and he immediately stole it

"Is that my back scratcher?" "Ok, in my defense, have you EVER, tried to scratch the back of a TURTLE SHELL??? YOU CANT REACH BACK THERE!"

Yeahhh, took you a while to get it back

You had to buy him his own

💜💜Donnie💜💜

He definitely understands

As a soft shell turtle who needs moisture on his shell from time to time, he can understand the uncomfortable-ness it comes with your skin/shell drying out

Has his own special moisturizer he uses for his shell, and most likely won't share

But he will recommend you a lotion to use

Sometimes he'll hold your arm in his hand, examining your scales

DEFINITELY FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE HE LOVES YOUR SCALES, ABSOLUTELY NOT (wink wink)

He has S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N remind you of your moisturizer

One time before he knew about your itchy skin, saw you almost scratch yourself to the bone and was very concerned

He definitely makes you some sort of mechanical back scratcher (that definitely doesn't have a flame thrower build into it, that would be crazy (wink wink))

He asks you a hundred questions when it comes to your scales, like, are they water proof? What kind of tissue/material is it made of and do you have to eat specific foods to get the nutrients to continue to take care of said scales, ECT ECT

He'll find himself sub consciously staring at your scales and denies anything if you catch him

Whenever you start to itch, he sometimes looks away, cause just seeing you itchy makes his shell feel itchy and it is not a good feeling.

🧡🧡Mikey🧡🧡

Is very very worried when he sees you scratch yourself so violently

At first he thinks you've got fleas or lice or something, but when he figures out your scales make you itchy, he totally understands

Dude tries to hook you up with some good lotion (the first time he accidentally almost gave you bacon grease and mistook it for lotion, it was kinda funny)

Sometimes when he's bored, he'll ask to paint on your scales using body paint (if your scales are very irritated)

He makes simple stuff on them, painting sunsets, gradients, sometimes little icons or patterns, whatever keeps him busy and happy

He'll scratch your back for you sometimes, and at first it was ok, until his arm started hurting from scratching you for so long (it was only five minutes) and he had to stop, still, the thought that counts.

Will go Doctor Delicate Touch on you if you refuse to use your lotion/moisturizer for whatever reason

Will run your scales on your arms if it makes you feel better

And sometimes he'll nuzzle his face on them.

He tries to count your scales while you try to count his spots (he gave up lol)

If you say you're itchy, he'll try to distract you by doing something with you, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

[cvpiidbiites]

from this ask game

1. would they eat human flesh given the chance?

ambrose ena shark seabunny moonstone

6. are they likely to chase and devour small animals (such as rodents, lizards, etc)?

yenisei ena shark maple vesper

11. would they say something culturally insensitive on twitter? how would they react to criticism?

lucrezia yenisei ambrose seabunny maple

12. would they be willing to put a zombie-bitten loved one down before the onset of symptoms?

fia lucrezia ena shark moonstone vesper

13. what action would get them dishonorably discharged from military service?

lucrezia ena maple moonstone

15. how many prescription medications do they take? how many should they be taking?

fia ambrose shark maple moonstone vesper

16. do they tell people about their weird sex dreams or keep them to themself?

fia ena shark vesper

19. how would they fake their own death?

fia lucrezia yenisei moonstone

Oc Ask - 3 ૮ ྀིっ˔ ◟ ྀིა

CW; Mentions of blood, violence, and not proof-read </3

⊹ Would they eat human flesh given the chance?

Ambrose; Ee has seen and recorded many different cultures and their practices during their travels so nothing truly phases them. Ambrose has not taken part in any of involving human flesh due to the worry about how it would negatively effect Eirs body. If the meat was cooked well and knew there would be no negative effects then they would be all for trying especially if it meant being welcomed into a culture.

Ena; Despite being in Érimarfe Ena would not consume human meat. However Ena would suggest a question, ‘Are the people of Érimarfe truly human?” We can only guess what her true answer is.

Lomi (Shark); Has seen sirens and heard from others about their diets so it always has peaked his curiosity! Lomi knows how their little guppy is so against the idea so he would never do it! Wouldn’t want to taint their lips from his if they ever did eat it. Would feel like he could never kiss Remy again.

Navi (Sea bunny); Without a doubt. If she could she would, Navi has always been curious of what someone would taste like, what different parts of the body would be easier to cook and what dishes work best with the meat. For all we know she might as well already have.

Moonstone; If you were to ask him Moon would answer with a simple "Duh as if I don't now." This is a bluff, a simple statement to make them sound edgy. It simply wants to sound more scary than they look. Anything to have people be weary near him.

⊹ Are they likely to chase and devour small animals (such as rodents, lizards, etc?

Yenisei; Eating small animals is the reward for chasing them, a prize for winning the game. Anything smaller than a fox would not be cooked but chew on them as little treats. Make sure to lock your doors extra tight so nothing can slip out.

Ena; Candied lizards on sticks, cotton candy rabbits, even chocolate mousse mice. All are the more "weird" treats sweet that the planet consist of. Nothing Ena bats an eye towards, she even loves enjoys capturing them by hand. Her favorite being the mousse mice she finds in her lab.

Lomi (Shark); Loves chasing smaller fish but always feels bad about doing it in front of Remy :( Does not want to make blub feel like prey in his eyes. Will happily bring home small fish, clams and crabs as treats for Remy to have! The type to crack open the shells for her too.

Maple; Never! Already does not eat meat so the thought of eating small animals/beings is enough to make bun's stomach turn.

Vesper; No he would not since there is no need to, he also believes that he wouldn't be good at it. Vesper finds the idea quite odd since its quite easy to get food without needing to stoop down to that level.

⊹ Would they say something culturally insensitive on twitter? how would they react to criticism?

Lucrezia; No? Maybe? Probably not! She wouldn’t say anything horrible! Worst case would be her putting something she heard someone say and run out of space for a /sarcasm. “Yeah you’re right all people from Snezhnaya are money hungry and horrible!” And have no room for "/s" she most likely banned on Twitter for calling out people with no care for her own public image.

Yenisei; if she didn't eat the phone by the time it learned to type they would def call other nations cowards. Not anything too harsh but enough to piss people off. They would not care, she would dox herself to get them to meet her.

Ambrose; Yea but it’s another Luci situation except Ambrose believes in not using tone tags! It’s already hard to tell what ee means when he talks so imagine how hard it is to tell over text. Ambrose is also sometimes passive aggressive sounding when it talks or texts.

Navi (Sea bunny); She is extremely blind /gen! Her eyes hold no vision so she is 100% blind! There is nothing under her eyelids which is why fae's eyes are permanently closed! I do not think there is a world where she could post on twitter in general even if she could she would never willingly say something horrible.

Maple; Nothing too bad but definitely said some of honks bitter thoughts about the family of Penacony or people who treat her badly during performances. Not enough to be banned but it wouldn’t matter since her out of costume vs in costume accounts are very different/no one knows her out of costume!

⊹ Would they be willing to put a zombie-bitten loved one down before the onset of symptoms?

Fia: if it was one of them maybe, but if they had to put down every single loved one they had it would take them so long to accept the fact of what’s going on. Screaming at their loves ones to give them more time, that it’s going to get better. Only then being able to put them all down if they got too close, they would try their hardest to convince themself this is what was right. Fia’s life is destined to start alone and to end alone.

Lucrezia: As a nurse it would be Luci's main concern to help those be put to rest especially when there is no cure, however she is would not be able to when it comes to her lover. Her brother? Whatever, she knows he would hate to live like this and on top of that if he turned he would be too powerful. Luci’s lover would be too much, she could never be the one to do it, could never forgive herself for being like her brother. She would keep them alive and try to cure them not matter what and if it came down to it, her life or theirs? She would take them both down. As their sickness got worse and they became nothing but a shell of who Luci loved, she would lead them to a trap she set and give them a kiss goodbye before they attack her causing the set trap to take them both down.

Ena; Does she have the willpower? Yes. Do they care enough? Nope! She would never waste this opportunity for new knowledge. She’s the type to hope some poor soul wanders into her lab, keep them stabbed to a table and figure out what candy has the most effect on them. What will help and what would preserve their state.

Lomi (Shark); In a heartbeat, the type to wait till they least expect it too. Promises them that everything will be better after this, he would rather be the one to help them instead of watching them. Lomi would too take himself down just so they could meet again in another life.

Moonstone: A loyal dog to the one who saved him, would ask her what she wants them to do. He's nothing but a scared kid waiting for orders.

Vesper: He confronts his loved one through this, waiting till they were finally asleep to take them out. He understands that it is a horrible thing they will be going through and want to end their suffering while they are at peace. He forces himself through go through with it, fully autopilot not letting his heart think. He will not allow himself to mourn until they passed away completely and there is no one near. Waiting till he is alone with his loved one's favorite story before he can allow himself to cry.

⊹ How many prescription medications do they take? how many should they be taking?

Fia: They SHOULD be taking a lot more than they do, something for depression, anxiety, and probably a few pain killers even something to help them sleep. They hardly take anything they have just continuing on with their work.

Ambrose: Just something for helping them sleep on extra long nights, and maybe something for the travel sickness. Ee does take both though!

Lomi (Shark): Honestly vitamins probably, still hasn't went and placed an order for them though.

Maple: VITAMIN D. Is NEVER in the sun. Love has not taken any medicine still though.

Moonstone: Something to fix that head of his. Taking nothing but god something to fix him would do wonders.

Vesper: Iron pills, very low iron does not help with his daily life as its already hard for him. He forgets to take them a lot so his loved ones are usually the one to remind him.

⊹ Do they tell people about their weird sex dreams or keep them to themself?

Fia: If its before they got together with their lovers they would def jokingly tell them when they're close! Thinking not much of it especially if they all had made jokes towards each other about the topic.

Ena: No, does not really have anyone to tell nor would they want to. Its non of their business.

Lomi (Shark): Def tells their partner especially in a teasing way! Like "dream you is a lot more bold." And leaves it at that unless they ask.

Vesper: With home much Vesper sleeps you'd think he wouldn't remembers their dreams but in reality most sleeps he has are dreamless! Would be way too embarrassed to look at the person for the next few business days.

⊹ How would they fake their own death?

Fia: They would never have a reason to fake their own death however if they were going to it would be close to how they actually die. Fia would sneak away after making sure everything was in order like food for strays, all the orders are fulfilled even some extra clothing to leave with. Fia would sneak away after leaving a note telling Fremi to make sure the cats are well fed and how he was a great kid, to take care of everyone. Would live their life in the woods of Snezhnaya, unknown to them picking the worst woods to live in. One that is haunted by Yenisei.

Lucrezia: She would take on teaching Sagewinnie more, making sure that she knew how to it all works. It would be on one of the nights she goes home to the surface, she looks more tired than she normally does. She would be another to leave a note to her loved ones to not go looking for her as there will be nothing to find. The only one to truly know where they went is their lover Veil, a secret note by the desk she "breaks in" through, addressing that she no longer can live here and if there was a chance she wants to see her there will always be room in her in Luci's new home at Konda Village.

Yenisei: Quite easily, she just has to lay low for a few days, maybe weeks. Living off of small animals is not that hard, maybe if she's really hungry she'll sneak into a nearby farm and take some live stalk. Easy to fake death when no one knows you.

Moonstone: If Moon was able to accept the truth about Jade and his relationship, he would try his hardest to fake his death. It would be a rare situation where they would convince people to let him go on a mission with Dolli. He would turn off both their intercoms and sneak away to talk with doe, letting them know everything and how exactly he plans on leaving, even explaining how he switched his stone out for a dull one. A mission gone wrong is his plan, they were sure it was to work and Dolli just had to break the news to them.

[siriusist]

Band of Brothers Week: Day 2: Kraut Medicine:

Fanfiction: Kraut Medicine

Day 2 ( July 2nd ) Prompts for Band of Brothers Week: OTP || Faceless || Favorite COs || Red

Characters: Babe Heffron, Doc Eugene Roe, Ronald Spiers, Carwood Lipton, Dick Winters, Lewis Nixon, Bill Guarnere, Frank Perconte, David Webster

Genre: Dark humour, with a mix of dark horror.

Summary: Babe Heffron accidentally-on-purpose drugs the entire Company in Bastogne. Chaos ensues.

Author’s Notes: Fanfiction contribution for Day 2 of Band of Brothers Week! I had this idea bumping around in my head, based on the fact that A) Men scavenged in war, B) Men can be stupid, and C) We all know Babe Heffron is that kid who ate things before he asked what they actually were. 

This is also based on the idea and historical fact that German soldiers were given literal derivatives of meth in order to stay awake and alert for long hours. While I thought it’d be crass to actually name what the drug was, it’s pretty wildly acknowledged now that all sides in the war were taking all kinds of uppers (and downers) to get through the conflict. In my mind, it just happened that Babe Heffron was very, very stupid with it.

As always, no disrespect to the actual historical figures themselves. This is solely based on the characters in the 2001 Miniseries.

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It was two hours before Doc Roe noticed something was off about Babe Heffron.

Sure, he was usually a massive idiot (the term used affectionally, in most cases). But something about the way he was jiggling his leg up and down becoming more and more annoying the longer he did it, despite Doc noticing him from a distance and through the slow fall of snow in the dark.

“Fuck it, I’m going to say something,” Guarnere muttered, already halfway out of his foxhole and the entire company wound so tight due to previous shelling that a snap of a twig would send most of them off.

“I’ve got it,” Doc murmured softly, holding out a hand and only making direct eye contact with the man from Philadelphia when he could already see he was ready to argue. “I’ve got it-“ He repeats, but this time far more firmly, despite being relatively small and stature and pale, the look in his eyes telling Guarnere not to push it.

Guarnere holds up his hands. “That’s your venue, Doc.” He deadpans, already settling back down next two partially visible bodies under their cover, as Doc looks back. The leg was still going.

“For Chrissake- there’s supposed to be a no-motion ban- light and noise discipline-“ A voice mutters nearby, sounding suspiciously like Buck Compton, as Doc finally decides to act. Taking a deep but quiet breath, he crouched down close to the ground before slowly but deftly making his way across snow, careful about where he stepped lest he set something off.

By the time he’d reached Babe’s foxhole, both legs were going now, along with a little jiggle of his shoulders. “Everything alright, Heffron-?” Doc starts, slowly and carefully putting a hand on his shoulder but jolting it back as soon as he saw Babe’s dilated pupils and the stupid grin on his face. “Lord Almighty-“

“Hiya, Doc~” Babe grinned almost comically wide, it taking a moment for it to sink in that he was doing a little two-step as best he could in his foxhole, the entire snow below him turned to mush and dirt underneath his feet. “How’s life treatin’ ya-?”

Doc bit back an answer that was more sarcastic than Babe was probably in any place to understand or answer, before scootching closer, trying to inspect his eyes and holding up a finger to see if Babe’s eyes would follow a moving object. “Pretty good, Heffron, how are you?” He says evenly, that being his first mistake.

“I told you- it’s Baaaaaaabe~” Babe practically whines, body going limp and actually dropping his gun as he wiggles back and forth, Doc now looking at him more suspiciously than ever as he feels him up for his pockets.

“Doc, if you were interested, you should have just asked-“ Babe giggles, wriggling away from his touch like a child being tickled. Except he was a six foot tall man who was currently kicking a five foot seven Doc in the shoulder with a dirty boot.

“For goddsake, what the hell did yeh eat?” Doc finally snaps, before hearing the hiss from nearby foxholes, immediately reducing his snapping to a hiss.

“Nothing-“ Babe said with a pout, crossing his arms but still holding back lower body wiggles. “Just some of that Kraut chocolate we picked up near the border. And Webster told me about medication- t-they had pain medication- he translated the label-“

“So you took medication you couldn’t even read the label of?” Doc gave him a look like he was an idiot, before finally finding the bottle in the front of Babe’s jacket and shaking it, several pulls still rattling about inside.

“It’s pain relief.” Babe says proudly, nose up in the air. “I found it. And I feel fineeeeeee-“

“Yeah, I bet you DO-“ Doc mutters, trying to make out any indication for what the drugs actually contained. He opened the container and tried to give it a sniff. “You eat anything anyone gives you-?” He huffed, but now trying to think about how to bring Babe down from the clear high he was still on before he was actually needed in battle.

“Yup! It’s the Military!” Babe says with the same proud grin, wiggling from side to side. “Yay Babe!”

“For Chrissake-“ Doc muttered, now raising from his foxhole and intent on murdering Webster. “Anyone else take this?”

Babe stops his happy wiggles, freezing, before attempting to look innocent. “I mean, I know Webster has one. And Luz has one. Unless they gave some out, I don’t think so-“

Doc grunted in response, already annoyed at having to babysit a company of grown men from basically acting like they’d tasted the Devil’s Lettuce. Webster most likely didn’t share. Luz, on the other hand-

“Oh. And I added it to the water supply-“

“YOU WHAT?” Doc can’t help but snap, ready to punch his shoulder before the same hissing being heard again, but this time being accompanied by hissing from a distance.

“GO GO GO!” A voice can be heard screaming, as Doc covers Babe’s head as he tries to force him as closely down in the hole as he can, Babe fighting him every step of the way.

“LAY. DOWN. IDIOT.” Doc hissed, as Babe whines. “Heffron~  Idiot~ Why don’t you ever call me Babe~”

“NICE NOISE DISCIPLINE DOCTOR!” Guarnere’s voice can be heard sarcastically as he passes him to get out of a dangerously close shelling area, Doc poking his head out and seeing shell after shell splintering trees, quickly ducking down.

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT HEFFRON’S TELLEMENT STUPIDE-!” He calls back, before hearing the telltale scream of “MEDIC!”, Doc grabbing Babe by the front of his lapels, slapping his cheek to get him to pay attention to him. “You don’t leave this foxhole unless a mortar or a German is flying right at you. Got it?” He snapped, Babe almost looking sad. “Yessir-“

Doc moved to duck under trees and jump branches, before finding the person screaming for a medic to be right next to George Luz. George sat staring at the man, cross-legged, both seemingly completely fine.

“P-Peconte?” Doc pants, already touching the man up as soon as he gets near him to feel for injury. “Where are ya hit?”

“We never see each other any more, Doc- what- you don’t like me or nothin’?” Peconte says sadly, George looking at him and literally giving a shrug.

“Not you, too-“ Doc mutters, before slapping both of them lightly. “You are children! Give me those pills-“ He snaps, grabbing them off both of them and forcing George to focus on him. “Who else did you give these to-?”

“I mean, we thought it’d be funny to help Spiers loosen up a bit- may have dropped one or two into his canteen when he wasn’t lookin’-“ He shrugged, as Peconte starts giggling. “Boom~”

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Doc stared at them, before shoving them under a tree, treating two extra wounds before sliding into a foxhole with one Carwood Lipton.

“Lip, Lip- thank god, some sense-“ Doc says, relieved, knowing the man wouldn’t put anything in his body before knowing what it was first. “Y-You drank any water? You seen Captain Spiers?”

Lipton gave him a weird look at how wild-eyed Doc looked himself. “Are you okay, Doc?” He says softly, as if they weren’t in the middle of a firefight.

“No, I’m not okay, Lieutenant, because Babe Heffron has apparently spiked the water supply with German drugs that make everyone loopy, Officer Spiers is apparently unknowingly drinking a canteen full of dissolved pills, and half the Company if they don’t dump their watah anytime soon could be just as stupid as Babe Heffron, Luz, and Peconte-“ He snapped, finally able to vent when the shelling took a momentary break.

“… Ah. That’ll do it.” Lip bites his lip, before looking up at him cautiously.

Doc listened. No screaming, no other noise. He could fully relax. Finally.

“… It’s a little funny.”

“Thank you,” Lipton says, clearly now chewing on the inside of his lip to keep from full on smiling, before grinning. “Wow. Spiers on drugs.”

“Either he’ll beat the entire German Army before we do, or throw a hand grenade that bounces back and kills him like a Looney Tunes cartoon-“ A rough voice says in the hole nearby, Captain Nixon slowly but surely sticking his head out his hole.

“You take any of this crap, Cap?” Doc shakes the pill bottles lightly. “It’s in the watah, too-“

Nix was able to muster a sardonic smile.

“Now, Doc- you know I don’t drink “watah” out here.”~

-------------------------------

“And you two are sure about this?” Winters says, rubbing his nose and blinking far more times then necessary, arms crossed and swaying ever so slightly from side to side.

Nix and Doc looked at each other. Doc moved to open his mouth, before Nix held a hand out, stepping forward and taking Winter’s face in his hands.

“Dick- ironically as the drunk one, I’m the most sober one of us, right now. Yes. Babe contaminated the drinking water- Spiers is apparently on a double dose- and, Peconte thinks he’s lost his leg but he hasn’t- so he’s the least of our problems now.”

Winters blinked rapidly as soon as Nix held his face in his hands, before managing to say in an even tone. “Were your hands always this big?”

“You know it’s bad when I’m your last line of defense, come on-“ Nix rolled his eyes, stepping away from Winters and Winters almost dropping from the lack of being held up, but attempting to hide it by spinning in a circle. “First thing- dump the water we have where no one will eat the snow and put in new snow to melt- fresh snow- second, find Spiers. Third- send someone back to HQ and find how the hell long it takes for this medication to work its way out of your system- go-“

Doc nods, being pushed back towards an awaiting Jeep with several injured, the Jeep making it halfway through the back lines before stopping before a figure in the dark, standing and surrounded by dead bodies of German soldiers.

The lights slowly but surely illuminating the scene, almost like a horror movie, as Ronald Spiers slowly turned around, moving to light a cigarette, before saying calmly.

“You got a fresh canteen, Doc? Mine’s tasted kind of funny- dumped all of it an hour ago.”