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ineffable-romantics · 2 years ago

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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

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Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

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requiemforthepoets · 7 months ago

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you’re the closest to heaven that i’ll ever be ⟢ CL16 series

PAIRINGS: charles leclerc x celestial!reader

SUMMARY: the celestials are unseen guides who help souls cross the afterlife. you are bound to the earthly realm by your duty, and had formed a unique connection with charles along the way after he had caught a glimpse of you. charles can’t seem to get you out of his mind, so he began seeking for you, and you began to grapple with your duty and the growing attachment towards charles, realizing that the only way to truly be with him is to give up your immortality, experiencing human emotions, pain, and vulnerability.

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WARNINGS: some people may find this fic offensive, concept of divine beings and heaven & life and death, no use of y/n, angels and devils, mentions of papa leclerc (beginning is set in 2017) and jules bianchi, fluff, falling (literally & figuratively) in love, named side characters, angst but with a happy ending, purely written fic, a little bit of world building (concepts), mentions of death, bad/evil people, and cursing.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi! i’ve been gone for a while bc i really wanted to take a break. my mental health wasn’t really doing good the past few weeks, and my inspiration & will to write fics hasn’t been that great, but this series is a project that i had been working on while i was taking a break—somehow i was able to be inspired. i’ve been watching a lot of movies, and this series was inspired by ‘city of angels’ a 1998 movie. tbh, this will be my first time writing a fic in this kind of genre, since i don’t really write fantasy fics, but as they say, there’s a first for everything!

i know that this fic won’t be some people’s cup of tea, but if you don’t like, then don’t read. that’s all. taglist for this series is open, so just comment/message me if you want to be added to the taglist. updates for this series will be a slow. i hope that you’ll enjoy this series as much as i enjoyed writing it.

status ⟢ on-going | date started ⟢ 11/04/24 | playlist

i. one - between worlds

ii. two - first encounter

iii. coming soon

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oh-no-its-bird · 6 months ago

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Having more Uchiha Houhua thoughts:

Ok so I decided his mangekyou, if he ever gets it, looks a bit like the system buffering/loading icon— which absoloutley pisses him off

Its ability is a sort of mishmash of knowing things + some light time fuckery. The light time fuckery was probably its (read: Izumi's) original ability, but it was debuffed + mixed w knowing things as a result of the systems influence.

The "knowing things" bit basically means he gets character screens and summaries from the system (which he does NOT get before getting the mangekyou bc the system is stingy as fuck) but it also means he can see like. Past / present / future events (the "future" events being presented as 'system predicted' so they can't always be trusted) but also like. Being able to see what future or current events would have been in canon, if he hadn't been given Izumi's role

Then he can show these things to others via genjutsu, which makes for some killer genjutsu bc he can straight up send someone to relive their worst most traumatic moments and stand next to them eating popcorn like "woah bro this is totally fucked" as they experience The Horrors on loop

Super OP and ultimately fucking great for information gathering, which is kind of his main thing anyways. I think it fits, especially when the system !! Open to hearing criticism on it tho

And ofc I don't know fr if he's gonna get to unlock it yet, still undecided bc it'd also be pretty hard for him to care ab someone enough (other than probably Jun and eventually Itachi)

Could also be fun if he got to have an interesting dynamic w Inoichi bc of it, like w mind fuckery in mind. He's so useful in T&I, someone teach him some fun mind fuck jutsu's it'll be great

Otherwise uhh:

Also thinking. Yk how I mentioned his ideal endgame is that he'd love to be like, an assistant to the Hokage? Important job! Very little danger (compared to other jobs)! He'll take paperwork over putting his life on the line any day!

So like. When Tsunade comes to the village, Houhua is fucking foaming at the mouth. He wants to be her assistant so bad. He is ab to fist fighting other people in order to be there when she first arrives so he can try to worm his way into her office (and thus avoid being sent out to do shit while remaining important enough to be earning narrative points)

But then Tsunade arrives and she already has Shizune !!! FUCK.

Could be funnier if Shizune fucking senses Houhua's ambitions and also sniffs him out as a little rat man and immediatley assumes the worst. Gets to work on trying to kick his ass out on the curb. Office rivalry !!!

I have like. 2 options for that period where Naruto is off w Jiriyah trying to get Tsunade back, and idk where to take it tbh. Bc either Houhua can go to sound (with or without Sasuke), or he can stick around and do fun politics trying to throw cinder blocks at Danzo's head in the absence of a Hokage.

Houhua is gonna have to interact w Orochimaru eventually is the thing, there's just too much potential there to waste (teammates w Kabuto / literal immortal cultivator in his past life / snake vs rat jokes I need to make at least 10 of, etc.)

Hmmm. Choices, choices

#uchiha houhua #birds fic talk #shang qinghua #svsss #naruto #naruto au

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avelera · 5 months ago

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Oh I would love to hear more of your thoughts on Heimerdinger because all of my friends were like "aaw the poor guy, he was right about magic all along, Jayce and Viktor owe him an apology" and I'm like??? Heimerdinger literally does nothing to improve any situation ever! I was so hoping he'd learn his lesson under Ekko, but when he got stranded in an AU and just decided to stay there and permanently take over his other self's body and let his original timeline perish I was genuinely horrified by his complacency (again). TBH I would have really liked to see him confronted with the fucked up culmination of all the fiddling with the Arcane in person, because I think I wanted him to see that he was right, he was right and yet he didn't change anything in the end (I'd even argue that he gets away without facing the consequences of any of his failings, he escapes Jinx' bombs even tho he failed in politics and he escapes the Arcane Apocalypse even tho he failed as a guide to his pupils and Hextech safeguard.)

Heimerdinger is a super interesting character and I'm glad you asked this because the previous meta discussion got me thinking about him but I didn't really know where to begin. I'll try to break my thoughts down with some cohesion:

I do think Heimerdinger learned his lesson within the narrative but specifically with regards to his two demonstrated personal flaws. Heimerdinger's two greatest flaws within the narrative are:

1) A lack of understanding and empathy towards those with shorter lives

2 ) The way his immortality detaches him from actually living his life (which feeds into point 1).

This is going to get long though, so I'm gonna start picking apart what I see as Heimerdinger's flaws and his virtues and how those get addressed beneath a cut:

So as I said, I would argue that Heimerdinger's arc does address his core flaws. His moment of greatest personal cruelty is when he fails to recognize Jayce and Viktor's desperation and, instead of agreeing to help them and guide them to make their experiments safe in the face of their desperation for Viktor to live, he just tries to shut them down. He gets exactly what he deserves there.

Then, in the AU universe, he recognizes this and agrees to help Ekko. He then willingly sacrifices his own life to send Ekko back to the canon universe, where Ekko is instrumental in saving the day. That, I would argue, is Heimerdinger's redemption arc, and he needed a redemption arc.

Also, while he was in the alternate timeline, he learned how to live in the moment, which addresses his second flaw, which feeds into his first flaw. I don't blame him for not feeling urgency to return home, without Ekko, he had no way of doing so. It could be seen as complacency, or perhaps simply an understanding of the reality. Would that world have been a better place if he'd invented Hextech just for a shot at returning to his universe? I'd argue that he was trying to be selfless by not doing so, when we see how much damage Hextech did in the canon universe. I think he was simply at peace with a shitty situation for himself, rather than actively avoiding his responsibilities.

As for the other Heimerdinger, who knows! Was there even one? Do yordles only have one identity across the multiverse? Or was there an element of redemption in Heimerdinger choosing to take his alternate self out of the Council? We just don't know.

As for his political identity, Heimerdinger is super interesting there too. Technically, he's an immortal enlightened despot in Piltover as its founder. I think he hides this fact from himself by allowing a council of humans to sometimes outvote him, in a fig leaf over the fact he really doesn't have the right to govern a bunch of humans, and I think him getting voted out of the Council acknowledges and narratively punishes him for this fact. Piltover isn't as enlightened as he thought it was under his leadership, a fact he realizes when he goes to the undercity and realizes how blind he was. But I'd say those were his flaws, he was always blind and naive, not malicious. And I think the narrative punishes him accordingly by giving him a wakeup call that he was asleep at the helm. He doesn't deserve to be in charge anymore. Jayce was completely right to kick him out BUT, did things get worse without the peaceful, modulating view of Heimerdinger on the council? How would HE have voted for Zaun's independence? I'd be very curious to know.

And I think it should be noted, Heimerdinger does have virtues too! His caution towards Hextech is not only well-founded, he is 100% correct. I think people forget that Heimerdinger was never ambiguous on the subject of where Hextech would lead them, he was completely right that it corrupts, destroys, and lays waste to civilizations. There's no ambiguity there! He's completely correct!

He's also correct that there are scientific innovations that would be safer if they spent more time in testing before being made available to the wider world. It took 100 years for people to realize coal burning factories were measurably altering the world's climate. Another great example of an invention that should have been tested more before it was implemented was freon, which was used in early refrigerators and does measurable damage to Earth's ozone later to the point where it is now banned. What if instead more tests had been run?

Heimerdinger's long view of science is correct and in an ideal world, it'd be great if we could run these tests to their conclusions. However, the long view isn't the whole story, a debate that Arcane actively engages with.

Because it should also be pointed out: the refrigerator also helped improve people's health around to the world. Think of all the food and medicine that can be preserved today because of refrigeration! Literally thousands would have died if we had banned refrigerators until freon could be better studied.

That's kind of where Viktor is at vs. Heimerdinger. If freon-powered refrigerators can end hunger in the undercity, why aren't we applying it now? To which Heimerdinger answers: you don't know what else it might be doing to the world. They are in fact both correct! It's a debate! One the real world is still trying to figure out. Heimerdinger is an extreme case of the long view, and Viktor is an equally extreme case of the short view since he's frantic now that he has so little time to live. Jayce tries to balance the two and gets caught in the middle with everyone mad at him, poor guy.

Anyway, I think that covers most of what I had to say about Heimerdinger? Hope that helps!

#heimerdinger #arcane #arcane meta

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jadeazora · 5 months ago

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PLZA Wishlist/Hopes, gonna divvy it up between both, past, and present/future:

Both:

Obtainable AZ's Floette

At least one new Zygarde forme. Imagine if it could go beyond Complete.

An underground area based on the catacombs (doesn't have to be mass grave tho)

Hostile rogue Megas being our rampaging Noble equivalent

Bring over (at least most of) the ORAS Megas

More Kalosian Megas, or potentially re-introducing Battle Bond as a "pure variant" of it (especially since Mega Evolution was mentioned to have terrible effects on the Pokemon.)

Yveltal being a threat to the city at large at some point, with a team-up with Xerneas to corral it.

AZ getting more story importance.

Letter "A" Legendary Pokemon, perhaps based on one of the Kalos League statues?

Past:

Malva, Sycamore, Lysandre, and Diantha ancestors (I feel like Sycamore or Malva's ancestor has the highest probability of being our main villain)

I feel like it's more likely to get his Floette here? It's gonna be a hundred and something years till it returns to him, we can look after it in the meantime!

Old starters getting new regional forms a la PLA

Going more into depth about the discovery and origins of Mega Evolution.

More lore on the war from 3000 years ago.

Future:

Set maybe a couple decades after XY at most rather than the far future. (Descendants would be cool, but I'm more interested in the characters we actually know tbh.)

Sina and Dexio sharing a joint professor role since they give you the Zygarde Cube in the Alola games. They could potentially carry on that research.

Vastly expands outside of the Lumiose we had in XY, further into Kalos. (I always wanted to explore the ruins of the Ultimate Weapon.)

Villain Sycamore or Malva. Or both. Like I said when I brought this up before, I don't think Sycamore would be evil, just misguided and let his guilt get the better of him. Malva is still more of a villain, and we need more lady main villains in this series. It's only really been Lusamine and Sada (if you played Scarlet), but this girl had hella potential in XY, and it's always been super frustrating to me that she got so little screentime.

The Flare scientist girls too! The only one of them that really got any slight fleshing out was Xerosic.

Diantha gets more story importance. She's another character who got majorly shafted in XY and deserves another chance!

Kalos starters with new Megas, secondary Kanto or Hoenn starters.

Potentially canonize Lysandre's survival from Masters here. It would be neat to see him get stuck with the same immortality curse AZ has, condemning him to live in and adapt to the world he lost faith in.

What are some of the things you all want to see? 😄

#pokemon legends za #plza #zygarde #az's floette #floette #king az #pokemon az #lysandre #elite four malva #professor sycamore #champion diantha #pokemon xy #pokemon x and y #kalos #team flare

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embrose · 5 months ago

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Before I watched Deadpool and Wolverine I hadn't really read any of the comics, so I just knew MCU Deadpool. But afterwards I read lots of Deadpool comics, especially Poolverine and Spideypool related ones, and I was surprised by how manipulative and cunning Wade actually is.

Like, MCU Deadpool reads more goofy and "bang bang slash slash yay violence" to me. But in the comics he plans and strategizes sometimes very meticulously and manipulates people (even people he really cares about) and situations so things go how he wants them to go. Usually using very underhanded and sketchy methods. And he gets away with it surprisingly often. Especially with Spidey, he manipulates situations a lot. Like, hiring actors or goons to stage a mugging that he can then foil, right in front of Spidey, so he can look good and cool.

And tbh, not a huge fan of that. It's not a dealbreaker or anything, it lines up with his comic characterization, and I like the idea that Wade is a master strategist since he has been a mercenary since he was barely an adult and he wasn't always immortal. So, he couldn't just jump into the action, he had to research and plan and be cunning. But manipulation is a bit of a pet peeve for me, and I'm glad none of the fics I've read have integrated the more manipulative side of Wade into his character.

Just, food for thought, wanted to talk about this at the void that is Tumblr. I like the idea of a Wade who's bit of a secret master strategist (and I've seen some writers put that in their works, love it every time), wouldn't love if he manipulated his love interest into liking him by paying criminals to do crimes he can then pretend to foil. That's some toxicity I can deal with in canon but don't wanna see in fanfics and thankfully it seems most fanfics writers I like agree with me.

#deadpool #spideypool #poolverine #spiderman #spider man #wolverine #logan #peter parker #wade wilson #mcu #marvel #marvel comics #deadpool comics #spiderman comics #wolverine comics #deadpool and wolverine

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chiocchi · 1 year ago

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If you don't mind answering, why do you ship Tom Riddle and Harry Potter? Besides the whole issue that they are enemies, and the age difference, both characters are heterosexual. It's canonical fact. If it's the dynamic you like... Have you thought about Tomione's ship? They have a lot of potential together. And in the right direction, they would be a couple that could make it in the books.

JDKLJKLFJSDLKFJA This kinda feels like people knocking on your door and trying to get you to believe in their religion. It's pretty funny.

I don't know why are you calling issues to a part of the pairing's appeal lkajdsjfs (And Hermione is Harry's age and they are on the same side too?). And not sure about that canonical fact. Harry can be read as bisexual quite easily and Voldemort|Tom... idk he seems more obsessed with power, immortality, and Harry. But even if that's the case, I don't see why it should matter. We're in fandom after all.

I don't know if I'll be able to convey why I like this ship so much. For starters, I'm really into the unique connection they share. There was a piece of Voldemort's soul inside Harry's; they had a mental link; a whole language they're the only ones to speak (for the most part); Voldemort chose him and marked him; and there's even a prophecy that linked them together. There aren't two people more connected than them. They're soulmates, and the fact that Voldemort didn't intend it and Harry hates it adds another layer of complexity.

But not only that, they're like a broken reflection of each other, which I find fascinating. In his second year, Harry was worried about the similarities between them. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles, they both considered Hogwarts their first real home. I feel like they would have really understood each other in other circumstances. They would have been friends. Because one of their key differences is that Harry found friends and adults that loved him while Tom was probably bullied and, y'know, the whole Dumbledore thing.

Not to mention that Harry would die for everyone whereas Tom would kill everyone. They're insane in their own way. I love their similarities and differences, but more than anything else, I love when they're together. The fanfics and fanarts are awesome.

And the whole thing of being enemies feels quite gay sometimes klafjdlskfja. Harry can't help but think Tom is handsome and, despite everything Voldemort did, Harry wanted to give him one last chance to show remorse. I have no doubt Harry is crazy enough to actually forgive him.

I've thought about Tomione and I've come to the conclusion that I don't like it. pinktom has a really good post about it and I agree with it. Besides, Hermione liked Ron and had something with Krum, and they're nothing like Tom. Just because she's heterosexual doesn't mean she's attracted to any man, y'know? klajdlfkdjs I don't think they would have been a couple in the books, no matter the direction. If it's the dynamic you like, have you thought about Tomarry? More believable, more intense, and a wider range of wholesomeness to fucked up in the fics. It's really interesting. Unless you don't like men being together? Hmm? Suspicious (just kidding. To each their own. So no need to go to other people's asks to try to change their minds :kek:).

Also Harry is my favorite character and he's not replaceable. I kinda don't care about any other character tbh. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

#weird asks

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illubean · 1 year ago

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ooo idea for the unaligned experiment!reader (same guys as last time)

so reader gets bored during a job and wanders off once they know their favorite free meal human isn't going to die or something.

they go outside and find a stray cat, and when their favorite human comes to find them reader unprompted says "you're like this cat to me. you'll die before me and you'd be easy to kill, but I don't speed up that process because i like the fuzzy feelings you both give me. plus you're both kinda cute. :3"

like that's kinda just reader's usual rambling but it does cement that:

reader's actively thought about how easy it'd be to kill him

they don't do that because they (on some level) like being around him at this point

they're consciously aware they'll outlive him

they think he's cute

Also possible angst/comfort at the thought they've gotten bored and left him. also the reminder that reader's fully willing to wander off without him if they're not provided enrichment, but then they find out they consciously decided to stay where they could be found because they (on some level) grew to like him.

Unaligned!OP!Reader pt. 2

Characters: Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Portor Type: Headcanons, Gn!reader

Couldn't really think of a hurt/comfort aspect because of these characters' personalities...

Warnings: mentions of death, a little angsty? idk

Illumi Zoldyck

Illumi of course already knows that you could easily take him out

it's why he kept you around in the first place

he originally only kept you around as some sort of Zoldyck super weapon

but YOU are beginning to develop FEELINGS? for HIM???

he probs just uses that to his advantage tbh

Illumi is worried when you wander off though, because what if someone else finds you and you take a liking to them? what if you leave him?

he doesn't care all that much about it from an emotional standpoint but he can't afford to lose such a valuable weapon

so he would accept your affections if it meant keeping you under wraps

you're willing to do whatever he tells you if it means keeping him around

since you don't really want him to die soon you're quick to attack anything or anyone he asks you to

even if you don't completely understand your emotions and even if it's one sided, you decide to stick around

you couldn't have your favorite human be lonely, could you?

Chrollo Lucilfer

he lets out an amused chuckle at your revelation

he too often thinks about his own mortality and that of others

so he's not as put off by your comment as he should be

"Maybe you're a lot more human than you think you are."

and his statement offers you some peace of mind

even though your immortal and were quite literally created to be a ruthless killing machine it felt good to know that you could actually experience human emotions

after this you are a lot more willing to express your affinity for him, weather physically or verbally

and you don't wander off as often as you used to

you still don't really grasp the concept of love but Chrollo understands what you mean

since you know you'll outlive him you become very protective over him

you decided it's better to keep him around as long as possible

so...I guess Chrollo did kind of get what he wanted

you were like his personal guard...dog? demon? idk you were his guard something

I'm not sure he would develop any sort of romantic feelings for you (at least not very quickly) but he does care for you to an extent

he doesn't have to worry much about losing you since yk you CANT DIE

but he does like seeing you happy :))

Feitan Portor

he's not sure how he feels about being compared to a cat

normally he would be offended but his brain skips over all the morbid parts and is like wait did they just call me CUTE!?

HIM? CUTE? HE IS A KILLER

he's mildy flustered by this but he plays it off as annoyance

but also he's offended that you think he's so weak

he knows he technically can't beat you because you're immortal but like...give him some credit

it wouldn't bee THAT easy to kill him

he could give you a run for your money

he probably just scoffs and tells you to shut up before walking away

even when you do wander you still end up finding and following him in the end

Feitan would never admit it but he enjoys having you around <3

#hxh 2011 #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh illumi #illumi zoldyck #chrollo lucilfer #hxh chrollo #chrollo hunter x hunter #chrollo x reader #illumi hxh #illumi x reader #illumi #chrollo #feitan x reader #feitan #feitan hxh #hunter x hunter feitan #hxh feitan

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mymoshangthoughts · 6 months ago

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the amount i wanna explore the immortal alliance is just So Much

okay there are LAYERS to how i feel about these events

because look guys, so far as we understand, airplane is a pretty normal dude. a bit of an internet troll (ok a lot of an internet troll), a horny writer, and an immature punkass who's completely shameless, but like... he's not a mass murderer ya'll.

it KILLS ME that we never got an airplane extra about the immortal alliance because dude HOW HE FELT ABOUT THAT IS A LOT

yeah, he's grown up in this world and yeah he might have had no choice either via the system or via mobei jun or a mix of both, but its absolutely bonkers to be able to just walk off "yeah, a bunch of CHILDREN died in really brutal ways directly because of my influence". like shen yuan was wracked with guilt for years and he only 'killed' one kid and he knew that kid would walk it off.

and i dont buy the explanation that airplane wasn't treating pidw like a real world because frankly... i just dont think that makes any fucking sense if he was born there. yeah, it's gotta feel a bit wonky and unreal with the system in his head, but dude he was BORN here. suspension of disbelief that this world wasn't 'real' wouldnt last a few years, much less several decades. the sheer number of people he would have met, interacted with, and knew were REAL wouldnt make it possible. i do think that he made a huge effort not to get attached to anyone, knowing that bing-ge was gonna kill the fuck out of basically all of them, but theres a big difference between "ahh yeah that guy is gonna die so imma try not to get attached" and "lol ive lived in this world for thirty years but i dont actually think any of this is real"

so look, theres two possibilities for airplane's reaction:

he really does have a seriously fucked up side of him thats 100% okay with murdering children

he was VERY not okay with what happened but he had no choice and he's just Coping the best he can

there's also some answers in-between, but fuck i need to know this answer so badly because knowing the answer to how airplane reacted to the immortal alliance is SO character defining and it drives me insane. characterizing a person who can justify children dying because "not my problem, idc" versus someone who's horrified and traumatized over the part they played in child murder IS KINDA A BIG DIFFERENCE

personally, im coming to a headcanon somewhere in the middle. because tbh none of the airplane extras really spend any time addressing him feeling any sort of guilt over the situation. which does make it seem that he really does have a seriously dark side to him. and he did walk off his fellow disciples getting murdered by mobei jun very easily. but also, i headcanon that he is just the Master of compartmentalizing shit that fucks with him. cant deal with the events of the immortal alliance? thats fine, imma just put those feelings in a box and Never Think About Them.

i actually like to think that airplane's issue with the immortal alliance is the exact reason that mobei jun showed up in person. airplane is doing the immortal alliance thing because the system isnt giving him a choice and he's trying Very Hard not to think about "oh wow, theres gonna be a lot of junior disciples dead by the end of this haha, wow, they look so young ahhahaha, did teenagers always look like toddlers??? bc this is fucking me up REALLY FUCKING BAD" and mobei jun notices that something is Really Wrong with airplane and he cant decide if he's worried or suspicious of airplane's behavior

so he decides to show up in person, just to make sure shang qinghua isnt gonna pull anything but also that the idiot doesnt die while he's acting So Weird

but i think that airplane is like hyper pragmatic

so he's horrified in the planning stages and maybe even in the execution stages, but once it's over he's very much "they're already dead, theres no changing that, theres no point agonizing over it" and its not that he's OKAY with what happened but he literally cannot justify tearing himself apart over people who are dead because that isnt going to help anything. they're not alive to see him upset over it and even if their ghosts could see him, they're not gonna really feel better over dying bc "the guy who killed me feels really bad about it"

i also think that the years airplane spent growing up as shang qinghua play into it A LOT. he's had decades to come to terms with the immortal alliance happening. he knows its a major plot point, it's basically one of two major plot points that shang qinghua has a part in, and the system is unlikely to let him get out of it. so he's spent a longgg time numbing himself to the reality of "im going to murder dozens of children"

this is all my speculations tho and i just wanna rip my hair out that we dont have an immortal alliance extra!!!!!! i just want to KNOW instead of guessing where his head is at. literally, if he doesnt feel any guilt over murdering children, that's kinda a Big Deal characterization-wise. and if he does feel guilt but he doesnt express it thats ALSO a Big Deal characterization-wise!!!

I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO ACCURATELY PORTRAY HIS PERSONALITY FFFFUUUCCCKKKK I HATE THIS

anyway, im obsessed with the idea that mobei jun is the one who notices when airplane is Not Okay even when he's compartmentalizing like crazy. like airplane is so far down his hole of "its nbd and idc" that he actually believes it. he has to believe it to be able to live with himself. but the way he's fucked up shows up in other ways, maybe he's more forgetful than normal or scattered or clumsier or some mixture and mobei jun just Knows something is wrong, even when he doesnt know exactly what that wrong thing is

and like it becomes this thing where sometimes mobei jun knows airplane better than the little shit knows himself. airplane is so busy lying to himself to cope with his new reality and mobei jun sees through the lies that airplane believes.

but heres where mobei jun hits a problem lol. like, he knows theres something wrong, he knows how to read shang qinghua suupperr well, but does he know what to DO about any of that? absolutely not lmfao

"hm. qinghua is not okay. i should beat him four times today" LIKE THIS MAN DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO HELP EVEN WHEN HE UNDERSTANDS THE PROBLEM AND THAT'S HILARIOUS TO ME

like mobei jun shows up to the immortal alliance like "qinghua has been in pain over this. i'll show up unplanned and beat the shit out of him in front of everyone. that'll help."

i just think these two are an absolute disaster area and i love it

btw i am desperate for mobei jun's pov during the immortal alliance okay because LOOK

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT ALOT

AND IM CONVINCED THAT MOBEI JUN /DID/ HAVE FEELINGS FOR AIRPLANE DURING THAT INCIDENT

BUT ALSO

ITS COMPLICATED

like i dont think mobei jun is simping like binghe, i think he's got some weird mixture of denial and affection and frustration and pining and hatred and suspicion thats all mixed up in all the best ways that during that time he is super in love with airplane but he's also got a lot of other Complicated feelings toward him AND I JUST WANNA SEE HIS POV TO PROVE MY HYPOTHESIS SO FUCKING BADLY WHY THE FUCK DO WE NEVER GET HIS POV IMMA SCREAM

mobei jun's fb status "its complicated"

airplane's fb status "single"

mobei jun: ...........im going to murder him. im going to murder him in his sleep. omfg i hate him so fucking much. WTF DO YOU MEAN SINGLE, YOU ASSHOLE

#moshang #mobei jun #shang qinghua

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cringecompanionapologist · 6 months ago

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Companions That Suffered More Than Jesus

Feel free to add onto this list, since it's off the top of my head and therefore incomplete:

Ian: There is like an entire subgenre of EU that is Pure Historicals Where Ian Suffers Greatly

Steven: A good number of the people he traveled with died horribly

Dodo: If Who Killed Kennedy is canon than traveling with the Doctor completely ruined her life and destroyed her sanity.

Jamie: Got mindwiped, The Indestructible Man happened to him

Zoe: Same as Jamie, though The Indestructible Man went slightly better for her, since she avoided a complete mental breakdown.

Adric: His life sucked and then he died thinking he'd failed to save the world and that his Space Dad didn't love him.

Nyssa: Lost her entire planet and the Master started walking around in her dad's corpse.

Tegan: Mara possessions, getting the worst of 5's bullshit, eventually left due to trauma.

Turlough: The King of Terror. I could list more but isn't being the only character in any Doctor Who media to be anal probed enough?

Peri: Season 22 could be called The Perils of Peri tbh, has to deal with every creep and pervert in space-time and 6's bullshit, usually at the same time. Sorta dies, but ultimately even the sweet release of death was denied to her and she ended up marrying a warlord played by Brian Blessed.

Jack: Immortality just means getting to die in every conceivable way.

Martha: Had to put up with 10's bullshit for way too fucking long.

Rory: How many times did he fucking die again?

Bill: Got cyberconverted

NOTE: There are more men than women on this list. My guess is that writers feel more comfortable torturing men than women, so they get tortured more.

Also, there's a lot of EU media I haven't experienced, so I'm obviously missing a lot. The more batshit EU media that I am aware of was obviously factored in, but it's mostly PDA novels and Short Trips, which aren't the most popular EU media out there.

#ian chesterton #steven taylor #jamie mccrimmon #zoe heriot #dodo chaplet #adric of alzarius #nyssa of traken #tegan jovanka #vislor turlough #peri brown #captain jack harkness #martha jones #rory williams #bill potts #this list is incomplete #please add onto it

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11queensupreme11 · 3 months ago

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.. Some yans should NOT be recruited to help look for their chaos gremlins in the HSR-verse. Loki and Aha meeting would be such a doomed timeline, and ironically those would probably be the most harmless Gods/Aeons to meet eachother 😭 They would cause so much chaos but at least they'd be doing it for shits and giggles, other yans would probably lock the fuck in on their malicious agendas. Also Loki is a 50/50 on wether he'd get distracted and go goof off and fuck around in a whole new playground, because he actually does love his kids so. Depending on the severity of the situation (relating to his kids anyway, he doesn't give a shit about the planets getting murked but he might get nervous if some factions start banding together to take down his kids because they're. Yknow. Destroying the universe or whatever. Or maybe he's just get irritated instead of worried depending on the situation and which feeling strikes him first..)

Beelzebub would be given way too much freedom and too many opportunities for experiments. He would put Ruan Mei to SHAME when it comes to unethical experimentation. She wants to create an Aeon?? He'll find a way to do something WORSE. (Ruan Mei was also responsible for Fireflys whole planet dying I'm pretty sure, because she was the one who recreated the Swarm that eradicated it. She propagated a planetary-level threat of a species and somehow. She WOULD be outdone. Also hes one of the yans that give the least shits about his kids, so unless theyre actively about to get murdered and traumatise their mother hed be more likely to get distracted doing his own thing while his wifey has things handled)

If Cu is called in, maybe he'd have too much fun tying to conquer places if he's big on that? I haven't seen much of his character so I can't speak for him accurately but I feel like he's the type 😭

Anubis would be one of the only yans that would focus on actually doing what he's brought there to do. And look for his kids.. he's family-oriented like that 🥰 but his attention span might get in the way if he sees something cool or interesting or that would make a goof gift for Percy, or his kids or—

Hades will probably listen to her. Might be the best one from the emergency contacts list to call in tbh. He'd definitely care about actually getting his kids back at least, and wouldn't be too much of a threat to the HSR-verse?? I don't think he'd have any particular desire to fuck with them unless. Idk some of them happen to get a little too attached to Percy. Or one of his kids gets too attached to a particular character or planet.. can't be having that! He needs his whole family to come home with him after all.

Poseidon.. would be Poseidon! 😀 (Percy don't call this mf in. It's Poseidon. He's not gonna do shit. IF he finds one of those missing kids and it's an annoying one he will smite that little shit without a second thought and when you ask if he's seen them he'll be all 🫥 who are the speaking of again. I do not know this spawn of yours. Do you want to go on a daddy-daughter date and also maybe enslave a planet while we're here?? (And away from the other Yans..) (He'd be the same even if it was one of his own kids in some cases 💀 Most cases, actually 💀)

Main character syndrome won't save anyone from them, the Trailblazers are DONE unless they stay out of the Percy kids way 😭 Unless the power of Plot™️ allows for an encounter with Percy, in which case.. The Express sure would be convenient for getting her to every location she needs to get to in order to collect her freaky ass kids before they destroy a universe. It still might not be enough, but there's a glimmer of hope..

I can imagine her showing up somewhere like the Luofu (those interactions would be fun given that immortality is a whole thing there and she's half-mortal half-immortal. She might get arrested for illegal experimentation or some shit since immortality schemes are a whole taboo thing there, and the current long life species on the Xianshou Luofu had to be born that way) and just being like. 'Yes hello, on the authority of my lovely new Trailblazer friends, I need to speak with you government or defence force or whatever the fuck you guys got going on, because you see. I have birthed. horrors. and they may be coming your direction. If they do just give me a call kay 😊'

One day she inevitably GETS that call and has ro rush across the universe to look at whichever menace is attacking the poor HSR inhabitants. It's just some looming eldritch entity that's probably going to swallow up their planet or some shit, unless the kid decided to take the more stealthy approach and came in a humanoid form. If they don't listen to reason she pulls the 'I'll tell your dad' card, despite the fact she probably wouldn't because she doesn't want those harsh punishments :( but she'll totally threaten them with it if she thinks it'll resolve the situation by scaring them into behaving 😭

The HSR inhabitants are gobsmacked and lowkey wondering. Who the fuck their father must be if these god-level threats are terrified of them 😭 (For good reason for the Beel kids, ik I keep mentioning them but. They're definitely the most likely to pull shit like this AND Beel's my favourite I can't help it I'm biased 🥺)

💫 (idk if I'll be a regular but some people designate emoji to their anons so. In case I say something that I need you to recognise me for to not sound like a rambling crazy person here is mine 🥹 Also I'm so glad you enoyed!!! I felt bad afterwards like I was spamming you I got a lil too excited to share my thoughts 🥺😭💞 I'm happy I got your crossover juices flowing!! Its always so fun to ponder about and imagine..)

you're spot on for loki 😭😭 it's 50/50 for him. he will ABSOLUTELY want to have fun and mess around in the universe a bit but the second percy or his kids need him, he's dropping shit fast. HOWEVER.... baldurvæn will be his first priority kid to check on when he enters the hsr verse cuz well.... baldurvæn's a sweetie pie with the mind of a toddler 😭 once he's sure baldurvæn's safe with mommy, and that his wife and kids are okay, THEN he will wreak havoc 💀

BEELZEBUB IS LITERALLY THE WORST PERSON TO ENTER THE HSR UNIVERSE 💀💀💀💀💀 cuz like you said, he would definitely experiment on some of the monsters there out of curiosity and probably make his own evil eldritch abomination and then go "meh" and ditch it cuz it's a "disappointment" or whatever 💀💀💀💀 meanwhile that abomination is probably powerful enough to destroy a planet or two 😭😭😭 so percy not only has her babies to look for, but now she needs to get rid of her stupid husband's science projects 💀

cú chulainn would actually be panicking instead of going straight to "let's colonize some planets!!! 👹" why???? because of his DAUGHTERS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this man hordes his daughters and wife in the palace and now you're telling him they're scattered around this universe WITHOUT HIS PROTECTION?!?!?!?!?!?! cearbhall he's fine with cuz he's confident in his son, BUT WHO'S OUT THERE WITH HIS BABIES?! WHO'S WITH HIS WIFE?! 😱😱😱😱😱 he's running around the hsr universe like a headless chicken terrorizing everyone like "HAVE YOU SEEN MY DAUGHTERS?! *pulls out a hundred photos cuz he has a 100 daughters* AND WHAT ABOUT MY WIFE, HAVE YOU SEEN HER?!"

anubis is also spot-on. this man would LOCK THE FUCK IN when it comes to his family!!!!!!!!! but then he spots a space squirrel or whatever and starts chasing it 💀💀💀💀 or passes by a toy store and decides to rob the whole place cuz he thinks his kids might like the toys. 😭😭😭😭 unfortunately, percy would have to stick with him which would be counterproductive cuz they whole reason she called his ass in was so they could split up and look around 😭

YES HADES IS LITERALLY THE BEST CHOICE HERE 😭😭😭 in fact, he might even help percy in finding her other kids too (as in, the kids she has with the other yans) 💖💖💖💖💖 he is so helpful because he ALSO has that stern "mom voice" that gets the kids to shut up and do as their told 😭😭😭 bless him he's just the best 😭💖 but as for his kids, no one had BETTER not get attached to them or his beloved wife because he would definitely not be pleased with that. ESPECIALLY if they're the pushy type. the chances he might kill that person is 50/50 depending on his mood tho

poseidon.... oh poseidon, what are we gonna do with you 💀💔 now he wouldn't KILL any of his kids, but holy shit are they in for an ass-whooping when he drags them back home 😭😭😭😭😭😭 honestly, calling him would be percy's LAST RESORT. her kids would have to be extremely fucking stubborn, in danger, or just straight up cannot be found for her to call in poseidon for help 😭

apollo (omg bro YOU FORGOT TO ADD APOLLO IN UR ASK ASHDFAUHV POOR APOLLO LMAO) would be just as frantic as cú chulainn, but with both his sons AND daughters 🥺💔 like with the other yans, percy would prefer to split up so they can cover more ground but his paranoid ass doesn't want to be separated from his wife so now she's just stuck trying to console her frantic husband while searching for her kids 😭 most of the perpollo babies are responsible though so she's not TOO worried, but she just wants to get them back home already for her sake (and sanity)

i can imagine this whole thing starting with percy going into hsr verse after her kids and because she's new to the area, she can't just teleport around cuz she has no idea where she could even teleport to so she joins the astral express lmao (i'm making up some bs just cuz i want her to be part of the main crew)

ofc, she doesn't tell them the FULL truth of her identity and why she wants to join them but like... the astral express takes in strays all the time so they don't mind lmao. story starts in the herta space station like in the plot. they meet the trailblazer and whoops, some of her kids are attacking the station uh oh! anyway, secret's out and they decide to let percy stick around cuz her kids are LITERALLY trying to destroy a bunch of planets so the plot just centers around them traveling to various planets to stop that from happening 😭😭😭😭😭 and percy being the rizzler she is probably ends up growing a whole new harem without her realizing it which her yan hubbies absolutely would NOT like lol

also: 'Yes hello, on the authority of my lovely new Trailblazer friends, I need to speak with you government or defence force or whatever the fuck you guys got going on, because you see. I have birthed. horrors. and they may be coming your direction. If they do just give me a call kay 😊'

LMAO 😭😭😭😭😭😭 she straight up would say this 😭😭😭😭😭

and her pulling the "i'm calling ur dad" card on them aushgfahsvjhv this would absolutely work with the beelcy and posy kids 😭

percy: stop doing that right now, young man >:(

evil spawn: no >:)

percy, pulling out her phone: do you want me to call daddy? (beel/poseidon) daddy's gonna be very angry with you! >:(

evil spawn: NO! 😨

percy: ok now be a good boy and come back home with mommy or else i'll call daddy!

evil spawn: yes mother.... :'(

the hsr character: 👁️👄👁️

and yessss, 💫 anon is perfect!

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues #👸🏻| midnight morphine

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