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child-of-the-danube · 26 days ago

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MASSIVE AGATHA ALL ALONG SPOILERS SO SKIP IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE EPISODE

Time to yap, my sisters in the craft 🔮🧙🏻‍♀️

Positives of the final two episodes:

1. Jen finally being free

2. Agatha showing she actually learned from her coven in her final battle with Rio - she used Alice's protection spell, Jen's moon water spell and listened to Lilia's advice about hitting the deck

3. The parallels of Agatha and her coven:

- She was in the same situation as Lorna. A mother who knew her child was doomed from the start and did everything in her power to protect them and keep them alive for as long as she could, only for it to be fruitless in the end. And despite it being fruitless, the children did feel the love and were aware of the sacrifice, and sometimes that is enough. Alice and Nicky's memory will forever live through the songs their mothers made for and with them. The memory of their love outlived both them and their children and will keep on living on for long after.

- She chose to give her life for someone she just met but clearly felt strongly for the same way Lilia did. A lifetime of running from Death. A lifetime of collecting knowlegde for it to appear useless. A lifetime of seeing Death everywhere, of being persued by her, of being lonely and heartbroken with grief. And then going out by embracing Death by your own will to give another a chance and do at least once what you failed to do for centuries - protect.

- Her and Billy making a story come to life out of love and grief for their family. She set the foundation and he made it come to realisation. Both took away from others but only one gets be exempt from the consequences and able to achieve what they were after from the start.

4. Agatha being the happiest she's ever been when Nicky was with her

5. The acceptance in her voice when she says "Sometimes...boys die"

6. The fact that the dandelion seed in Nicky's hair that she kept for centuries saved her in the final trial oh my god 😭 😭

7. Agatha's love for Nicky being so strong that a silly little song they made together became world known. "You...I made from scratch" AAAAAAAAAAAAA

8. She calls her power "my purple" cause Nicky called it so 💔💔

9. THE KISS

10. Showing that it was Agatha's desire to keep Nicky alive and later on when he died her grief turning her to addiction that caused her to become this famous witch killer. She was never purely evil. What she did was, and it is not an excuse, but still. The parallels between her and Wanda being ready to destroy entire worlds and lives just to get their children back... A mother's love can make whole valleys bloom but it can also make mountains crumble to dust and my heart is not ok

11. Agatha doing for Billy what she couldn't do for her own son. Giving him a chance to live

12. Ghost Agatha's first move being annoying her adoptive son lmao

13. The road's entrance becoming a memorial to Sharon, Alice and Lilia

14. Billy getting the wake up call that he is not so different from Agatha or Wanda. His grief created a literal death trap and consequently killed Sharon, Alice and Lilia, even if Agatha is telling him Alice was her doing and Lilia was by her own choice

15. Agatha finding her purpose as a mentor in death

Negatives:

1. We were cheated out of a proper Agatha and Rio backstory. How did they meet? How did they fall in love? What happened in the centuries between Nicky's death and entering the road? How often did Rio come to Agatha for Agatha to be so clear about the one thing she wants when she passes being not seeing Rio? She is Death's only exception, only love, only scar. WE DESERVED MORE!!! How did Agatha bag a literal god????

2. Once again, a story that started out and was marketed as a story of women ends up being just means to help a man's story build up. I mean, I should have expected that but still leaves a bitter taste. Wiccan is an interesting character but I feel cheated out of knowing more about Jen. I wanted her backstory before being bound. I wanted Agatha pre-Salem trial and post Nicky's death for more than a power draining sequence through the ages. I wanted Agatha and Rio developing this bond that held up for 300 years. I wanted the Salem Seven to be more than a 5 second threat. Billy will get his own show anyway, like come on.

3. In connection to that, I know this one is a very subjective sentiment and I understand completely but it still pisses me off to no end. The fact that these witches, these centuries old women, who all had being covenless, lonely and in dire situations with their powers in common, went on this death wish trip with someone they didn't like at all as a last resort and got what they were lacking, learned to care for eachother, got their powers back, and that Agatha had the possibility to finally have a family and people genuinely care for her, turned out to be practically worthless in the end cause they had like 5mins of it is making me go insane. Alice said it best: "This is it? I was finally able to do something with my life and this is all the time I get?". The only one, aside Jen, coming out alive and having time to bask in the glow of his new-found power AND have the chance to do something with it is a fucking teenage boy who already got the privilege of cheating Death and the privilege of his family members still be somewhere out in reach to search for. The finale said "your life, struggles and resolution were just means to get someone else ahead". Call me a misandrist, so be it, but I'm fucking tired. Is one story where women are the focus and have a happy ending so fucking much to ask for????

4. THE KISS cause at what cost??? I repeat, this was the fastest, literal, bury your gays move I've ever seen. We knew it couldn't possibly end well, but damn. However, kudos to Kathryn and Aubrey making it so hungry and desperate, but also soft and real and full of emotion.

5. Billy being a dick and wanting to send Agatha back to "Rio's toxic embrace" like he didn't just watch her give up her life for him and tell her that she's "not that bad". My boy, you are truly strange in your holier than thou attitude sometimes

89 notes · View notes

suengmi · 2 years ago

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✧ cat and mouse ✧ 5.5k, m

fucking prick, you had scoffed, taking a sip of your iced soy latte. it wasn't often you let your anger get to you, but with chan sitting in front of you with your friend, saying something dumb about how you tripped this morning, you were about to crack.

pairing: bangchan x afab!reader (no pronouns mentioned) genre: etl, angst, fluff, humour, smut, non idol!au warnings/other: mentions of drunk sex, alcohol consumption, fingering-r, oral-r, unprotected sex, thicc reader (bc hell yes and you don't gotta be thicc to enjoy this!! i encourage all to read its not overly descriptive), a/n at end

♡please reblog if you liked! it rly helps and i love to hear your feedback♡

everything about him annoyed you, his stupid fake laugh, the way he playfully flirted with you and never meant any of it. you were never close to chan by any means; he was a part of your friend group. you had seen him a bunch of times, nothing too familiar, but every time you did meet, he absolutely ripped into you, like a school boy teasing his crush. how fucking mature. he was like a mosquito, buzzing around you and annoying you with every sound. if you had not restrained yourself you would have slapped him like one too.

the first time you had encountered him drunk was about a week ago.

chan was laughing, his arms flailing around as he made some joke about how he wouldn't date you. this added fuel to the fire, the fact that he thought that dating you would be something funny in the first place, amuse in his tone as he gestured to you. he had joked to your friends about how you'd look when you wake up, all puffy and funny to see. and the way your clumsiness would annoy him and how you'd be too hard to keep up with.

your mind pulsing with ideas on how to really annoy him, to get him back for what he was saying.

then again, you were drunk as well.

fuck it, you had thought as you had pushed him into his room by the end of the night, cornering him in the hallway. you had told him you knew what would really piss him off.

the party he had held ending up with both of your clothes on the ground in a drunken fog, whispers of how much he frustrated you between your lips as he let you take control, loving the way you talked down to him and put him in his place.

that morning you had left, not saying a word, gathering your clothes to escape his room. what you hadn't noticed was the forlorn expression on his face when you didn't look back.

why you had agreed to go shopping with changbin and chan around a week later, you have no idea. but, you did want a new necklace, though. the one that chan broke on that night in a rush to take your shirt off, was now sitting on your desk at home, sad and unworn. you hadn't spoken to chan about that night, wanting to forget your druken decision. it wasn't like you didn't want to but, what on earth would you say?

a sour expression painted onto your face as you walked beside changbin, chan on the other side. they were talking about some new game changbin wanted to try. you just followed, sipping the last of your coffee as you listened.

"look, didn't you want a new necklace?" changbin had asked, finger pointing to the alternative jewellery store.

unfortunately, there was nothing you really wanted until one specifically stood out to you. a semi-choker silver necklace, small chains hanging from the sides, and two jagged flame knife like ornaments messily placed between. it was perfect. what wasn't perfect was the price.

"three hundred dollars?! yikes."

"yeah, that is pricey." changbin had said, chan coming to his side.

"it is pretty though." chan chimed in, placing his hand on the glass to get a better look. you watched him as he studied the necklace, his bottom lip between his teeth with thought.

"would look better on me than you." he teased.

you sighed, turning on your heel to leave the store. you weren't in the mood for his antics.

"i think i'm gonna go guys, just don't feel the best."

two weeks later, you found yourself back at chan's for one of his parties. nobody knows what you were celebrating, but you were enjoying yourself, at least.

there's just less than twenty people there, some people you didn't know. though chan hadn't been in your friend group for long, he definitely seemed to be making his way around the group with his charm, everyone loving him more and more each day. anytime someone talked to you about him, you'd smile and nod. but once they turned their backs you'd be mocking childishly about how great he was.

chan this chan that bler blah bler shut up.

the longer the night goes on the more you find yourself observing chan. his smile is wide, laughing about something. stupid little prick. like a damn thorn in your side.

changbin hands you a beer from behind as he walks past, distracting you from your petty glare.

"so he broke your necklace? how?" hyunjin asks, lips frowning because he knew how much you loved it. it was your favourite.

"ah, he was just messing around." you say, trying to not remember how it really happened.

any time your mind wanders back to that night. the way his hand slipped around your throat, had your body shivering. how he placed kisses onto your throat, how hungry he was.

huh?

pfft, you say to no one, pissing yourself off with where your mind was going.

oh no, you've summoned him with your thoughts.

"what about me?" chan asks, skipping over to interrupt your conversation.

you stretch your lips into a thin line. "ah it's just-"

"how on earth did you break their necklace?" hyunjin says, gesturing towards you.

chan just stares at you, amuse on his face, like he's going to spill the beans. he waits for your response, brows raised.

"we were just play fighting." you say as you take a swig of your beer.

"play fighting?" hyunjin questions, brows raised.

"yeah, something like that." chan says, small proud expression on his face.

an weird silence sits around you, you're not sure of how to continue.

"i didn't think you were that close." hyunjin laughs, standing from the seat.

chan slides next to you on the couch, replacing hyunjin, swinging one of his legs over to your own. "we got really close-"

crack, your hand slams down on chan's thigh, leaving a bright red mark. "shut up."

the sound of up beat low-fi music echoes off your walls as you arrive back home.

earlier, chan had happily accepted the offer in trade for helping you make some furniture. changbin had thrown the idea to chan, saying he was better with putting furniture than himself. he was kind of right, chan was currently hyper focused like you had never seen before. his eyes darting back and fourth from the ikea instructions. it's not like you were bad at it, you just wanted someone to be emotional support while you probably made it wrong. but chan had taken over, saying he'd built it before.

you make your way down the hall but as you turn the corner from your kitchen, a little bit too fast, you're met with the door frame.

"ah fuck!" you exclaim, hastily trying to find a place to put the drinks on.

chan chuckles, not even offering a hand to help. "should look where you're going stupid."

you groan, rubbing the offending spot with your free hand. "you're only here because i offered to buy you bubble tea."

chan cheekily grins, getting to his feet to grab the tea, not to console you.

"now," he starts, eyes wide with sarcasm. "that's a door frame, not a door."

he's basically patronising you at this point.

"shut the fuck up, you're so annoying." you say through your teeth, swatting in his direction, he's too fast, zippy like a mouse.

"i'd be rich if i had a dollar for every time you told me to fuck off or shut up." chan laughs, poking out his tongue.

you roll your eyes, placing your drink down on the ground.

"it's the small nails, right?" you ask as you fumble with some nails, half of the packet falling to the floor before you can even lift them.

"yeah, those." chan chuckles, pointing in your direction. totally ignoring the embarrassing mess you made.

it's odd, you were actually getting along, well, in a kind of cat and mouse way. when you had said you were getting a larger bed he had joked about how you'd break it in. at first you thought it was funny, but then realised what he was actually meaning. your slaps were anything but gentle, chan pleading for you to stop.

the two of you finished building the bed in no time, both laying back onto your new mattress in triumph. laughs dance in the air as you talk about how chan had held two of the smaller planks in the curves of his butt cheeks.

"i remember you showed me the chopsticks, but planks? colour me impressed."

"yeah, i've out done myself." he laughs, rolling to face you. "did you end up getting that new necklace?"

"nah," you sigh facing him. "too expensive. i'll keep looking."

chan says nothing, lips pouting in thought.

the next morning, you had awoke to a knock at the door.

"who the fuck comes this early?" you had grumbled to yourself, shuffling your bare feet towards the entrance to open the door. when you looked down, you saw a small package, wrapped kind of badly with a note on it. you bent down to pick it up, knees cracking beneath you. it read -

'nah, would look better on you than me.'

"eh?" you said to no one, unwrapping the present to find with that very necklace you had wanted in that store. your fingers ran across the flames, admiring the beauty before you, price tag still in tact.

you're not sure if this was chan apologising, or just another joke. none the less, even if it was a joke you were still going to wear it. it was perfect, and would match with the many silver piercings on your ears.

a vibration startles you, your phone buzzing in your pocket.

'fuck head' the phone chimed, a picture of chan asleep face first on the couch blinking with the phones light.

you hesitantly agree to the video call, probably not your best angle, you think, as you answer it.

"do you like it?" he asks, his hand placing itself behind his head.

"no." you returned dryly, walking back inside, placing it down on the counter. no, you didn't like it, you loved it. "it's okay."

you clear your throat, kind of annoyed by his call. "why are you calling?"

"no reason." he smiles, leaning back against what seems to be his car seat. "thought you'd like it, dude."

"dude." you mock him, pulling a face at the phone.

he laughs, head dipping for a moment. "cute."

ignoring his charm, you sigh. "chan, what do you want? i wanna go back to bed."

"want me to join?" he questions, one brow raising. you're not sure if this is a joke or not, once again, but you're too tired to care.

"whatever."

you watched him sit forward, placing his phone down for a second, before you hear the rustle of his car keys. "i'll see you soon!"

"what?!"

click, chan had ended the phone call. the little shit was waiting in his car the whole time.

so this was where you were at, chan in your bed for some unknown reason. you're not doing anything, just laying in silence, covers up to your chin. it's kinda awkward. you feel sleep tugging at your body already.

"what possessed you to actually come to my house? you know we're not that close." you felt the words of honesty leave your lips.

"i unno."

you tut at him, "yeah we fucked once, but we were drunk. you still annoy the shit out of me."

chan laughs, turning onto his side, absolutely making himself at home. "it was good, though. well, from what i remember."

you scoff, turning to face him. "yeah, it was okay."

the look on his face kind of makes your tummy turn, he looks hurt but he tries to cover it with a laugh. "i can make up for-"

"chan..." you start, hands flinging down onto the bed. "you don't need to joke all the time. it happened, yeah? it is what it is."

"aw c'mon, i can do better." he half sings.

you groan at his antics, sleepiness making you irritated the more he goes on. "you need to stop. you're teasing gets too much sometimes."

"nah you like-"

"this is what i'm talking about. you never take anything seriously. you always make fun of me, and it makes me feel like shit. do you seriously have no indication of how you make me feel?"

chan frowns, looking down to the doona cover. "i just- i don't know."

"what? you what?"

"you're just so easy to tease." he chuckles, his hand grabbing the side of your arm to shake you.

you sit upwards shrugging him off, frustration in your tone as you rub your eyes. "you can leave if you're not gonna take me seriously."

"okay... you're right." he follows, sitting to face you crossing his legs. he fumbles with his hands, "i like you, okay?"

"huh?"

"i like you."

"i don't like you." you return.

"see, this is why i didn't wanna tell you. you're so grumpy at me all the time."

"yeah, i'm grumpy because you make me grumpy. always pulling on my hair, tripping me and making fun of me."

neither of you is sure how to continue, you just want to sleep. why you let him in is still beyond you, fatigue taking over your decisions, something like that.

"look," he sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "i really like you, but i'm not sure how to be around you. you're kind of cold sometimes, and i dunno how to get past it."

chan's kind of right, you were generally more stand-offish than your other friends, and you were kind of hard to read sometimes. maybe it was just to him. yeah, just him.

"what are you? twelve? so you've been making fun of me for weeks because you... like me?"

"yeeeah."

"you're an idiot."

"sometimes."

"ugh, i'm going to sleep."

you choose to ignore what his saying, but you'd be lying if there wasn't a delight in what you were feeling. it was kind of powerful, knowing you held the next move. you thought about what it would be like to date him, mind reeling with possibilities. and no, the drunk sex wasn't okay, it was mind blowing from what you remember. but then again, it could have just been the alcohol amplifying your experience. then again, maybe he's just joking. just wanted to get into your pants again. either way, you were in charge now.

eventually, sleep tugs at your eyes. you faintly remember feeling his hand slip around your waist as you doze off.

when you wake you feel him against you, one of his hands pressed into your chest gripping onto it for dear life, his hips melding into your own. you barely remember falling asleep. was he holding me this whole time?

you turn your body to face him, his hands still around your waist, fingers fitting into the soft rolls on your side. his puffy lips look so inviting, slightly open and moisturised. he's still asleep, little hums in the air as he breathes. you ponder on what he was saying earlier that morning, maybe he wasn't joking, maybe all of this was a façade just because he wasn't sure how to approach your supposed cold demeanour.

one of his eyes opens, squinting from the faint light from the day. he says nothing. you stay like this for a while, just admiring him. his curly hair looks so soft, you want to run your hands through them again. wait what?

you can feel it, the urge to kiss him. the urge to relive that night you had before. you weren't sure if he actually liked you, or that you liked him, or if it was just physical. regardless, you were curious.

your left hand slowly raises itself to wrap itself in his hair, he allows the touch, head leaning into your slow strokes. he hums lowly, voice a little raspy from the sleep. your hand comes back to his cheek, thumb rubbing just underneath his eyes.

whatever possessed you to kiss him you don't know. nonetheless you lean in, your lips lightly sliding against his soft ones. the kiss is gentle, as if chan is hesitant to let himself go. a small moan leaves your lips, your leg raising to rest on his side. he continues the kiss, hands digging into your sides a bit deeper.

abruptly, he stops. before you can even comprehend what's happening,

"i think... you need to think about this." he speaks, breath mixing in with your own.

"no, c'mon." you go to lean in again to taste him, but he pulls back more, frowning and avoiding your eyes.

"are you just doing this because it's convenient? just because you know i like you?"

"i thought you just wanted to fuck?"

his hand slips from your waist as he moves his body from yours, now picking up his phone and keys. "i'm not a toy you can pick up and use as you please. i have feelings."

"you don't seem to care for mine when you fuck me around all the time." you scoff, "it takes two to tango."

"i know i can be a bit much... but i do have them. don't take my confession lightly." he says under his breath. "call me when you make up your mind."

without another word he leaves, not making a single peep as the front door slams behind him.

neither of you talk for the next few days. he was right, you decide, fingers dancing along the necklace you had chosen not to wear yet. it's like if you put it on it will mean something, mean that you're giving him the green flag to go. to chase you, to want you with permission.

you think back to the kiss, how he hummed as he moved his lips against your own. it sent jolts down to the pit of your stomach every time it enters your mind, the urge to touch yourself strong.

tiredness is in your eyes, you're so damn tired from work and the thoughts that have been swimming in your mind. should i call him?

sighing, you lean back onto your pillows, taking out your phone to scroll to his name. another long breath leaves you, your heart beginning to race. you're confused.

what the hell is that?

do i want this?

no, absolutely not.

i probably just like the attention...?

your legs flail back and fourth on the bed, much like you're having a little tantrum.

wait... maybe?

he is really cute, seems affectionate.

but he fucking annoys me.

frustrated groans escape your throat, maybe one more leg flail will help you decide.

you could always try, maybe, just to see what it's like. it kind of makes sense when you think about. you slap yourself on the forehead, maybe it'll jolt your brain into making a decision.

"okay okay! i'll do it." you say to one of your plushies, trying to hype yourself in any way.

eventually you suck up the courage to call. when he answers the phone he doesn't say anything, just looks into the camera waiting for you to speak. you sit in silence, kind of just staring at each other.

"yes?" he finally chimes, his tone an indication of slight satisfaction.

you scowl, biting on the sides of your cheeks. "fine."

a month had gone by with the slow beginnings of your new relationship. you hadn't labelled anything, deciding to take things slow. it was actually quite fun, much to your surprise. there was always something exciting planned, chan jumping around you like a little kid whenever he won at an arcade game. it was cute. now, everything he usually did to annoy you seemed to become increasingly adorable. whenever he pulled your hair it was for a kiss on the cheek. whenever he laughed it was genuine to what you were saying. he had wriggled his way, just a little bit, into your heart, but not your bed.

it had been a few days since you'd seen him, both of you busy with work and other things. when you lay back on your bed, absolutely tired and fatigued, you hear your phone buzz. you know it's him, your heart thumps. damn heart.

looking down at the screen you see the name 'baby girl'. definitely a step up from fuck head. you answer the call.

"am i still baby girl in your phone?"

"yes." you laugh, turning onto your side.

chan bites his bottom lip, searching your face. "you look beautiful."

"what on earth are you talking about?"

you look at yourself in phone screen, you're definitely not in your best element. the mascara you had applied earlier slightly smudged, hair a little curled from your sweat and one of your eyebrows not properly coloured in. you groan, pushing your face into one of your pillows.

"no, i mean it!" he argues, laughing into the phone.

"whatev-"

"whatever." he mocks you automatically, knowing exactly what you were going to say. some old habits die hard.

the two of you talk about your day, how work was going and what projects he was working on. eventually it ends up in a discussion about the first night you spent together, but not having one like that since.

"yeah, why is that?" you ask, sitting back up in your bed.

"i think... i just want you to be sure."

you hum in thought, "i am sure."

"but this just isn't a hook up. we're dating now? i guess."

"you guess?" you laugh in slight disbelief. "what we been doing for this past month?"

"being cute." he says, eyes rolling comically. "ah, but yeah i guess you're right. if i'm going to be honest i still feel apprehensive."

"you do? why?"

"long story."

you roll to your side, lip pouting at the camera. "i have time, i want to know."

"honesty?"

you smile. "always."

"okay so, i guess it's just... i still don't know if i can believe you like me back. like, hear me out. i know you do, but i'm afraid that you just want the physical because that's how it was before, you know?"

"chan-"

"no i just... i want to trust this. i want to trust you. but something is telling me i shouldn't... maybe that's my anxiety."

a sharp ache, like turning daggers hit the base of your heart, how could he think that? you'd been spending the whole month with him, taking things slow like he wants. yes, you still play fought like little kids. chan annoying you would usually ending up in him in a head lock or a noogy, threats of a bite coming from your mouth.

what he's saying makes sense in the end, he has every reason to feel these worries. it's absolutely valid with how you began things with him.

you sit upright, leaning your chin on your hand. "do you wanna come round and talk about it?"

"yeah." he says letting out a long breath.

the only thing that chan had said when he entered your room was how much he missed you, how he was so happy to see you and how beautiful you looked. his lips were all over your face, kissing every bit of skin he could find. you enjoyed this. at first the affection seemed to turn you off, but now you found yourself melting into his touches.

when you eventually settled onto your bed, which still wasn't broken in, he would joke later, you found yourself patting your thighs. he looked slightly hesitant as he leaned forwards.

"you know you can come over whenever, right?" you chuckle, giving him a gentle smile. "we don't have to be so formal-"

almost aggressively, he pushes you onto your back, lifting your bed shirt to bunch at your chest.

"no talk, just tummy." he says face planting into your soft belly, hands finding their way around your waist for grip.

the affection surprised you, but wasn't unwelcome in the slightest. you realise you hadn't been this outwardly intimate before, this vulnerable with each other. it felt weirdly natural, much to your amuse. it wasn't as if you hadn't been physically intimate, always leaving the night with red marks along your neck and blotches on your cheeks. that one night doesn't count you justify to yourself. this was like a reset, a new way to start.

the boy doesn't speak, just breathes against you. your hands end up finding their way to his back, running underneath the cotton to rub soothing circles.

"mmm." he mumbles before pressing a kiss on your belly button.

the way that chan appreciates your body, every curve and slope, makes you feel like you're on cloud nine. he never once questioned it, always enjoying you as a whole.

"didn't you wanna talk?" you say leaning your head to the side.

"no..." he huffs.

though you know you need to talk, there's nothing more precious to you right now than this moment. chan's face lifting to press delicate kisses onto your stomach, slowly making their way to your neck and eventually your cheeks.

"such a love bug." you laugh, allowing him to have his way.

chan leans back, his hands still around you. "you actually love it, don't you?"

damn, you've been cornered. "mmmaybe."

"you totally do, you're a softy!"

"psh, look who's talking."

"oi yeah, at least i admit it."

you roll your eyes, knowing you've absolutely been caught. "okay maybe i am, but we shouldn't get distracted. talk to me."

chan lets out a long breath, his grip on you still strong. there's so much emotion on his face, you're not sure which one he's feeling. it seems he can't form the words, he can't put his finger on what he wants to say. you kind of know what direction this is going, so you decide to take the lead.

"babe," you begin, facing your body to him more. he looks back at you, the right of his lip curled downwards. he almost looks like he's about to cry.

"should i start?"

chan just nods, eyes on you.

"i know we started rocky, and i know why you feel hesitant. i would too. that night when we first... you know. it was more of a... an angry 'fuck you' kind of thing for me. and i never imagined it would actually lead to me liking you. i really thought about it, and how even though we're opposites, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? cat and mouse? maybe i liked you from the start but didn't know it, probably why i hated you so much, couldn't figure out my damn feelings."

sharply, his head snaps to you, lips turning into a smirk. "sooo, you do like me?"

you scrunch your nose at him and frown. "is that all you got from that?"

"that's all i needed." he says as he pushes you back for more kisses, hands wriggling their way under your shirt.

"chan!" you giggle between his attacks. "we're not done!"

this time it seems right. it seems less rushed at first, more innocent in a way. it's an even playing field, both of you finally admitting how you actually felt and discussing the worries you had. chan had spoken in depth about his trust issues, and how he sometimes thought you were playing with him still. with reassurance, you held his cheeks in your hands telling him this wasn't a joke and that it was real.

your kisses sealed his worries away, with every 'but' or 'why' he murmured against your lips. it's not until you told him to shut up already did he take it seriously, seemingly waiting for your command.

though he was he one physically in control, you were calling the shots, whispering how good he was doing and how it made you wet anytime you had thought about this prior. this was just encouraging him more, you were nothing but a mess beneath him to his touches.

before you knew it, your clothes were somewhere on the floor, his following soon after.

the next few minutes is a haze, you're not entirely sure what happened to get to this point, but just from the shallow strokes of his fingers in your cunt alone, you were sent into spirals. his movements getting deeper and more calculated, enjoying the way you squealed and held onto his arms. he followed your body, assessing what you needed. the more he went on the harder he got, fingers going deeper and hitting that one spot you needed him to.

"please." you whine, feet placing themselves on his shoulders.

a grin paints across his face. it didn't take long for you to get to your peak, not with his tongue gently pressing against your clit, circling just around the edges. your head falls back, a silent scream coming from your throat the closer you get, hips rocking into his fingers and face.

your orgasm tightens across your body, fingers gripping anything they can find. it takes you a while to get back to reality, your body melting into the mattress.

"such a dick." you had breathed shortly after your high, laughing in trance like state. "shit."

he chuckles into your thigh, wiping your juices off of his cheek.

"hmm." he hums sitting upright, one finger still slowly dragging out and back into you. you wince at the over stimulation, legs trying to clamp shut.

looking down you notice his cock against his belly, red and at full attention.

he notices your glare and his hand stops. "ah we don't-"

"chan, if you don't let me fuck you right now, i'm going to scream."

with that, chan happily lets you take control, your hands on his chest as you push him back onto the bed. you can feel him sitting against your core, your wetness soaking onto him. you take in a sharp breath, still slightly over stimulated as you roll your hips.

the way he looks at you feel embarrassing almost, he's beaming at you, his hands gently pushing your hair behind your ear.

"stop." you say shyly, hiding your face in your chest.

"no, i want to see all of you."

the words are so raw and so honest, it's so much different than last time. there's no malice and no rush. no hate or resentment.

it's the way he looks at you. maybe he looked at you like this all along, you were too busy being petty to notice, maybe.

when you look down, you're met with a gentleness, a softness he seemingly reserves only for you. his eyes are filled with warmth, loving every part of you as it is.

you slowly raise the right of your hip, angling him at your entrance. he takes in a sharp breath as you push yourself down, his hands finding their way to the height of your back, pulling you in closer. one of your hands rests on his cheek, your other beside him for balance.

fuck, he feels so good. a slow hot ache pooling in the base of your stomach expands, small jolts of pleasure tingle across your body with every motion. his girth stretching you open feels incredible, and with the way you're lazily moving your hips; it has his breath laboured, faster.

"chan..." you begin, still shy in your actions, slowly angling your hips up to roll against him.

"hm?" he hums through a low grunt.

your movements halt, head dipping to rest on his forehead. you're taking this in, you need to take a moment, feelings overwhelming you.

"how did this even happen?" you breath against him, eyes closing.

chan pulls your face back, hands cradling your cheeks. when open your eyes to look at him, he just shakes his head, as if shushing you and your overwhelming thoughts.

you nod back at him, leaning in to press a slow kiss against his forehead. the smile he gives you says it all, his hands finding their way back to your hips,

the rest of the night is a blur, your hands everywhere, mouths on any piece of skin either of you could find. it's not fast, it's gentle and loving, things you never expected from chan himself. it was beautiful.

it's nearly morning, the both of you are a sweaty and complete mess. your make up is completely gone and you're not sure how you even look right now. that doesn't matter, not with chan's head resting on your chest just looking up at you, seemingly treasuring you as if you'd break from a blink.

it's not until chan speaks up, you're reminded why you argued in the first place.

"you look funny when you cum."

"shut up!"

still cat and mouse, always.

a/n: thank you for being patient for this! i tried to do slow burn but it's not my strong suit :S hopefully it's ok!!!

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