#anu rants

[anumacy]

I need to rant about the one and only - Annabel Lee Whitlock. Now bare with me, my English has been sucking, so this probably wont make sense at times, and this is gonna be LOOOONG.

I love her character, especially the way shes portrayed. She has flaws, we can all agree on that. She was raised and was told her panic attacks were "abnormal". (At least from what I gathered) She bottles up her emotions, but she can trust Lenore. Lenore is her safe haven. She showed up that faithful day, maybe meaning to be friends, maybe not, just for her fathers sake. She was forced to leave the one she truly cared about to get married and be a housewife until death, but then? Her probable lovers estate is set to flames. She mourns. Its beautiful how much she cares. Then, whom you once thought was dead shows up at your door, and asks for your hand in marriage. Of course! Youre upset! And how she holds herself with such... Poise? Elegancy? Its stunning. Her fiddling with her dress? Cute. Then!!! SHE DIES! And her probable lover says we'll make it out together! And she will do everything in her power to make that come true. Even if it means killing off pawns. Of course, because these "pawns" are her probable lovers friends, her lover gets upset!! And then calls her mad. Of course, she cries. Her safe haven is calling her sick in the head. This grows tension, slowly building. What a wonderful portrayal in the story. Did i mention she WILL kill for her lover? What a romantic act. Annabel Lee is so complex, and everything about her makes me curious. What next? Of course i didnt touch on everything or I'd be here for hours. I truly have grown to appreciate this webtoon and this specific character. Her mannerisms just scratch that itch in my brain. And, I relate to her to an extent. What a beautiful, beautiful character. And that will be my longest message here.

[crappy-homestuck-confessions]

my friend started asking me questions about homestuck a few days ago and its somehow escalated into him commissioning me to make his persona into a troll. he has not read homestuck and is dead-set on never reading homestuck. a non-practicing homestuck, essentially. what horror i have unleashed into the world may never truly be known /lh

.

[evilgwrl]

Simon Riley x Reader

Back Door

Summary: Simon wanted to explore more than just your pussy

CW: Anal, ass play/fingering, spanking, praise and degradation, no protection (PLS USE A CONDOM, JUST BC U WONT GET PREGNANT DOESNT MEAN U WONT GET AN STD!!!!!), established relationship (I love bf simon <3), aftercare, vibrator use!!, reader watches porn and gets caught, I don’t go into detail about prep bc I’m not that educated on it but pls use prep before anal intercourse <33

WARNING: BEFORE ATTEMPTING ANAL OR ANAL INSERTION PLEASE USE PROPER LUBRICATION, SPIT IS NOT ENOUGH AND CAN SERIOUSLY TEAR OR PERMANENTLY DESTROY YOUR ANUS RESULTING IN LIFE LONG INJURIES. PLEASE READ THE RISKS AND TAKE PROPER PRECAUTIONS AS WELL AS DOING IMMENSE RESEARCH (NOT PORN) BEFORE ATTEMPTING IT. NEVER LET ANYONE FORCE YOU INTO ANAL SEX, ESPECIALLY WITHOUT PROPER CARE OR THOUGHT.

Masterlist

You had heard mixed reviews on it, curiosity sometimes peaking through you as your girlfriends ranted about how good it feels, how full they felt, how sexually liberated. You were a subject to torture, your mind constantly battling between bringing it up to Simon or not.

Fingers twitched against the XXNX.com browser, horny digits darting between the three letters ‘a’, ‘n’, ‘l’.

Your shorts were undone, wrapped around your rigid ankles, your pointer finger pressed against your swollen clit, running a figure 8 in a quick motion as you watched the woman squeal in pleasure, her ass stretched with the sensation of a cock inside it.

It was taboo. Beyond taboo. It was something always frowned against growing up, always seen as profoundly dirty but maybe that’s what intrigued you.

You moaned in unison to the porn star on screen, her breasts bouncing against the white sheets she was spread out on her, ass flushed in the air as she was pounded to from behind, the man grunting in pleasure before thick ropes of cum spurted from the tight crevice, pooling down her pussy lips as she whined.

You clicked on the next video, not quite satisfied as you groped at your tits, perky nipples peaking through the fabric as you held your knees closer to your chest, feeling your orgasm coiling with desire as your eyebrows scrunched at the delicious sensation.

Simon could hear you. You were never one to be quiet. Pesky thing, he thought, he had only gone to the gym for less than two hours and you were this horny already? Surely him pleasuring you on his tongue earlier was enough, desperate pussy clenching against his muscle as you squashed his face between aching thighs.

He creaked towards the slightly ajar door, taking in your flushed frame, your knees knobbling against your belly as your tits shook with every pleasurable jitter that ran through you. Your pussy squelched as you occasionally ran your fingers through your soaked slit, lapping up any slick to lubricate your throbbing pearl.

Brown eyes darted towards the screen, taking in the dramatic title “HORNY SLUT TAKES FAT COCK IN HER ASS”. He raised a brow, a cocky smirk spreading across his face as he crossed his arms against his burly chest. You were interested in anal? How come you never told him that?

He can tell you were close, the way your hips bucked and soft pants fell from your lips as your actions got sloppier. Such a desperate thing, you were.

Simon cleared his throat right before a moan ripped through your parched lips, your eyes darting in fright as you stared at the intimidating figure watching you at the door.

“Simon? When did you- When did you get home?” You gasped, rushing to pull your soppy panties up as you stumbled to the door, instantly turning off the explicit video you were watching.

“You wanna explain to me what you were watching?” His tone was mocking as he stalked closer towards you, a deep arrogance and knowing lingering through every syllable.

“I- Uh- just stumbled upon it.”

“Hm? That right? So you don’t want me to fuck you in the ass? Treat you like a used slut? You know, like what you were just watching?”

You were lost for words, endless stutters leaving your lips as you tried to make do with what you were attempting to say. You let out a loud huff, pushing past him dramatically as you stormed to the bathroom.

“Aww c’mon baby, at least let me make you cum.”

Simon was enjoying the slow torture, stalking like a predator as he awaited the perfect moment to gnash his jaws across your neck and snap it, taking you as his. His to use, his to breed, his to own.

Maybe it was the way he teased you with his words, lapping seduction through the air just with the pure sultry tone he pronounced each syllable. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, dark eyes flickering with wanton need for you, lashes darting down as he stalked your frame. Whatever it was, it made you crack as you lifted your ass in the air on the bed.

Two fingers dipped into your slick, teasing between your folds as a deep laugh left his lips, a whine escaping yours.

“Stop teasing me,” you hissed, your sheer exposure sending a wave of humiliation through you as a hand spanked down on the fat of your ass, flesh jiggling under his warm touch.

Simon dug in your bedside table, delving through the clutter before rough fingertips felt the plastic ridged bottle. Desperate digits smeared the cool lube against your asshole, teasing the crevice as a quick smirk moved across his lips.

You and Simon had never really experimented with it before, the most being an occasional finger during doggy, but with him really paying attention to it now, it felt so real, so different.

“Relax for me baby,” he cooed, his voice soft as his spare hand rubbed the curvature of your back, comforting you. Your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as you felt him coax a finger in, his already double the size of your own.

He worked another finger in, the tightness coiling around him as he lapped in the slight resistance. You felt a moan leave your lips as his fingers worked a smooth pace, walls clenching around the intrusion.

It was strange… different, but the fullness did something to you.

Simon’s hand wrapped around your throat, pulling you flush against his chest as he worked his fingers inside your back hole, soft pants and whines slipping past your tongue as your eyes fluttered shut, soft murmurs of his name filling the room as he praised you.

“Both holes take me so well, don’t they baby? So fucking good to me.”

“F-Fuck, Simon, I feel so full,” you cried, clenching instinctively around his finger as he smacked your ass in return.

“Think you can handle another?”

You nodded lazily, soaking in the pleasure as he bent you forward slightly, working more lube onto another digit before pressing it into you. He didn’t move for a second, allowing you to grow used to the tight stretch. The pain simmered slowly, your body relaxing at the naturalness of Simon’s touch.

Three fingers worked inside you, careful not to hurt you or go too deep as they focused on working a rhythm, letting you feel the pure pleasure of having another hole stretched by your Greek God of a boyfriend.

“F-Fuck,” you moaned, tongue practically lolled out of your mouth.

“Dirty fucking slut for me, sucking my finger threes in, ain’t you?”

“N-Need more, Si, please.” Your voice was dripping with arousal, eyes rolling back as you hummed at the filling sensation.

Simon grunted in satisfaction, slipping his three fingers out gently, softly rubbing at the puckered hole before he began to undo his pants. You bent over, your ass flushed in the air as you buried your face into the sheets.

You could hear the cap of the Lube bottle opening once more, followed by a continuous squirt of the gel, before more fingers prodded at your hole, working the substance around and into you.

“Baby, before we do this, if you want to stop at anytime, don’t even bother using our safe word, the moment you say stop or no, I’m pulling out. I won’t be mad at you either, this is completely about you. Your pussy’s tight enough for me.”

You nodded resulting in a harsh slap.

“Say you understand,” he snapped.

“Yes, Si, I promise I’ll tell you if I want to stop.”

You could hear the sloppy sounds of lube against his dick, his thick hands working his cock before you felt the mushroom tip line up at your hole. You winced as you felt him push in, his three fingers still not quite enough to make up for the sheer size of him.

Simon paused at the jerk of your body, holding your hips tightly before you whispered out an, “I’m okay, keep going”. Simon worked his thick length in bit by bit, taking his time as he continuously checked up to make sure you were okay.

At 3/4 of his length, Simon relaxed his movements, feeling you clench around him as you whined.

“Such a tight fucking hole, Jesus Christ,” he hissed, his hand coming down on your ass, the subtle print beginning to form.

“Please move, Si,” your voice coming out in short pants as you gripped the sheets, the sound of lube squelching as he began to rock back and forth, working his cock inside you.

Once you seemed more comfortable, your wanton moans filtering through the air, his pace fastened, gripping your hips like a vice as he occasionally spanked your ass, enjoying the way it moved as his hips slapped against the fat at a bruising pace.

“Dirty whore for me, let’s me fuck whatever hole I want.”

“Fucking filthy, takes me so well in her ass.”

“That’s a good slut for me, you love getting your ass filled, don’t you? Say it.”

His movements were quick as he fucked the right crevice, grunts leaving chapped lips as he practically growled out, harsh slaps delivered on your bruised skin, skin he would kiss later.

You were a series of whines and cries, strings of expletives leaving your mouth as your own fingers toyed with your neglected clit, rubbing the delicate bud at a quick pace as you screamed out at the fullness.

“Gonna cum soon,” Simon groaned, his pace growing more sloppy as he began to reach his high, your own fingers working faster against the sensitive bud.

“Come inside me, Si, please, need you to fill me up.”

Your words were practically sent from heaven, rolls of white meeting his vision before he let out a guttural grunt, hot pumps of cum filling you up as you whined at the sensation, your own orgasm quickly following.

You both panted, sweat engraved on your skin as your boyfriend slowly pulled out, cum leaking from the abused hole down to your cunt, both holes clenching around nothing as you collapsed.

You could feel a reassuring hand rub against the heat of your ass, shushing you as you breathed against the cotton sheets.

“Stay here baby, lemme get you cleaned up. You did so well for me.”

If you could take one thing from this experience, you were so glad you got caught watching porn.

WARNING: BEFORE ATTEMPTING ANAL OR ANAL INSERTION PLEASE USE PROPER LUBRICATION, SPIT IS NOT ENOUGH AND CAN SERIOUSLY TEAR OR PERMANENTLY DESTROY YOUR ANUS RESULTING IN LIFE LONG INJURIES. PLEASE READ THE RISKS AND TAKE PROPER PRECAUTIONS AS WELL AS DOING IMMENSE RESEARCH (NOT PORN) BEFORE ATTEMPTING IT. NEVER LET ANYONE FORCE YOU INTO ANAL SEX, ESPECIALLY WITHOUT PROPER CARE OR THOUGHT.

Sorry this is a piece of shit :(((

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas Day 5: Rimming

Choi Soobin x male reader

This guy

Stuff: Rimming DUH, some balls licking, you and Soobin are friends.

Word Count: 969

Notes: Happy birthday Soobin, please feel better soon

Soobin is like your best friend. You two get along incredibly well together and whenever you're around him it's always a good time, this hangout is just 'extra' special.

Right now, you both are just lying on your bed chilling. Having casual conversation while he's cuddled up to you all snuggled in, his head resting on your chest while you absentmindedly run your hand through his hair as you watch the TV. Friends stuff, dude boy shit.

"I'm kind of bored." He expressed into your chest, making his deep voice come out as groggy.

"Oh? What else would you rather do? Wait, don't answer that, you'll probably say something like blow me or rim me." You said jokingly, you guys did make an awful lot of sex jokes to each other. For two openly gay men who aren't actually dating to do this is... a little odd.

"Rimming you say..." He responds, jokingly putting his finger under his chin, as if he's actually considering it. Which he's not... right?

"Don't get any ideas Soo, I know my pussy is the bomb, but it'd ruin our friendship." You scolded him.

He takes his head off your chest and stands straight up, looking you dead in the eye.

"Come on Y/n... we're both attractive, both gay, both sexually active, and you have an ass that I've been wanting to dive into since the day I met you." He told you, his tone completely sincere, but he can't actually be considering this, can he? This bitch.

"Well yeah... but-" Before you can finish, Soobin cuts you off with a kiss, one that though unexpected, you instantly melt into and kiss him back.

You put your hand in the back of his head to pull him closer, deepening the kiss. Soobin rests his tongue directly on your lip, begging for entrance, which of course you offer. Man... you're kind of easy.

You moan into his mouth as his tongue meets yours, sliding and clashing with yours until he comes out victorious. The kiss is incredibly overwhelming, and it leaves you to pull back to catch your breath, thoughts, and sanity.

"No, don't pull away..." He said all whiny, giving you a pouty face with his bottom lip quivering, but his smile returns once he remembers the subject you two were discussing before the kiss.

"You can't just kiss me like that! I mean it was really good but still!" You loudly told him, your face in a deep blush and completely flushed from his kiss.

"Yeah yeah yeah, Can I rim you now?" He asked casually, totally ignoring your little rant at him.

You just sigh, realizing how much him, and you, both want this. So, you simply respond with a defeated but also excited, "Fine..."

Soobin goes right to work, manhandling you into place on your hands and knees and pulling your pants and underwear down to reveal your puckered hole to him.

The speed in which he does this is enough to give you whiplash, but you go along with it. Afterall, having a man with lips as good as his to eat your ass isn't exactly undesirable.

Once your pants are off and your hole is winking up at him, he dives right into it, taking a long lick along your ass, doing this multiple times until your crack is completely wet with his saliva.

"Fuck, it's already delicious." He said breathlessly.

Once Soobin has done that, takes a few more long licks with his tongue but this time, he gets your balls in there. Licking all the way from your balls to the top of your crack, giving them a little suck from here to there.

He assumes you're ready enough, so he goes right in, diving his tongue into your anus.

You let out a shrieked moan, which he responds with a little chuckle while his tongue is buried in your asshole, sending the most delightful shiver of pleasure to run up your spine.

He licks the hole, inserting his tongue in and out with every stroke of his tongue. He enjoys pleasuring you but it's also clear that he just really loves eating your ass. The way his tongue almost adoringly inserts itself inside you is absolutely orgasm worthy.

"You're so fucking delicious Y/n, new favorite meal." He let out into your ass, the vibrations sending more delightful shivers.

He inserts his hole tongue inside you, pushing the wet muscle in and out of your asshole, making your moan in what can only be described as, like a fucking homo.

Thank god you've rushed because this bitch is getting IN there. Soobin is fucking you with his tongue in the best way. He clearly knows and enjoys what he's doing, which you can tell from the way he moans into your asshole.

He pushes his tongue in and out faster, making your moans louder and your cock leak even more onto the bed. His hands tightly grip your ass cheeks, pulling your asshole even closer to his face, allowing his tongue to reach unfound heights, also allowing your moans to reach unfound decibels.

"Fuck Soo! I'm so close!" You moan out loudly. Soobin simply responds by doubling his efforts, somehow pushing his tongue in even deeper, even lightly touching your prostate.

That's more than enough to make you ejaculate all over the bed, shooting your cum and near covering the sheets. Soobin tongue fucks you through it until you're finally spent.

You collapse on the bed, none of your body being able to work after such a heart stopping orgasm. Soobin laughs lightly as he wraps his arms around you, cuddling you from behind.

"You eat ass like a pro." You started breathlessly.

"It's hard not to when an ass tastes as good as yours."

THE END

[gremlinmodetweeker]

König's Incredible Rants (Horangi's Tapes)

König is a patient man for the most part. He likes to roll with the punches, go with the flow, retreat to his happy place whenever life is eating away at him. But König is not as patient as he likes to think he is.

Certain things seem to set König off. It's never big things. He won't complain about global politics or about living conditions on base, and he sure as hell won't complain when he's given a punishment or if he has to cover for someone else last minute. No König's pretty forgiving in these areas. But König has his limits.

When König gets mad, he stews silently over a cup of coffee and reads a book to take his mind off the problem and let things be. He doesn't want to waste his energy on trivial matters (he cannot stop thinking about it no matter how hard he tries to distract himself). However, if somebody makes the mistake of asking him what's wrong, he pops off on a rant. Not loudly, not aggressively, and not meanly. He will never call someone stupid if he thinks they can hear him (he doesn't want to hurt their feelings). He is honestly rather tame, actually. He just paces around the room and waves his hands angrily as he speaks. And oh boy, does König speak.

Some people say that Germans don't have good comedy, but maybe that's because every single joke in the entirety of Germany and Austria all went to fuel one man's rage. The things this man can come up with on the fly are genuinely incredible. This normally silent, stoic man comes up with the strangest things you'd ever had the (dis?)pleasure of hearing. He's had entire rants about how to turn somebody's anus into a pencil sharpener or (during the same rant) how much skin he could remove from the human body at one time to make a renewable source of leather. His rant lasted long enough to figure out a viable pricing scheme and even deliberated the best way to manage his imaginary human leather factories. König's rants are so bizzare and yet also so meticulously thought out that you could easily mistake them for being scripted, ready to be let loose on the public at a moment's notice.

The worst part was that whoever triggered his rant would be forced to endure a 30 minute rant about the most inane, rambling bullshit you would ever hear in your life. At one point, people took shifts listening, but then they realized that it didn't matter if anyone was there or not, he'd just keep going regardless. So, most people just left him to do his own thing in the common rooms.

Enter Horangi, KorTac's resident gossip hound. Horangi got into the habit of leaving a phone recording to capture König's whole rant in all it's gloriously cynical and sarcastic glory. Horangi hasn't quite figured out how to make a profit out of König's rants, but he's working on it.

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug on the Jedi in 'The Clone Wars'

Y'all have asked, and Dr. Meat Muffin might be a disgruntled old hag that chugs too much Trader Joe’s bourbon and doodles too much subpar art, but she keeps her promises!

Just so y’all know, if you’re a major character (Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, etc) you keep your name, because it was drilled into Doug’s head over 8 seasons of Clone Wars and the movies. Everyone else, though, Doug gave up and created his own catchphrases for them.

CW: This one's not as spicy as Doug's previous rants regarding Star Wars, but y'all know if y'all know. "It'll all come out in the wash."

--------------------------------------

Plo Koon: Ah, Shrimp Daddy. He looks like a shrimp that’s been boiled and left in the sun after a potluck. But my wife LOVES him, she says he has the nicest voice and she wishes he’d narrate some books. I loved him too, he was my favorite. That scene where he tells his clone boys in space that they’re important to him? Ah great. They should have him lead HR meetings. 

Aayla Secura: Babe-the-Blue-Jedi. They sent her away from the Temple because Yoda didn’t want that hotness distracting everyone. Is she and Miguel (Bly?!) dating? They are, right? 

Kit Fisto: Reggae Swamp Thing. Tell me that boy don't look like he lives in the Atchafalaya and bangs on the steel drums all day. I wonder if he stole those shorts from Michael Phelps. He’s cool but does he need to have a tank to swim in on his ship? Does he have gills? I need more info on this guy. 

Adi Gallia: Storm’s Cousin. Doesn’t this chick look like her? She does, right? Maybe she's a Jedi cause she can't control the weather. Didn’t Maul’s brother Saul impale her on his horns and that’s how she died?* Why didn’t Maul do that to Obi-Wan? Maul was obsessed with Obi-Wan, do you think it’s because he had a crush on him after he sliced him in half?

(Doug also ships Obi-Wan with Maul now? IS THERE ANYONE WHO DOUG DOESN'T SHIP OBI-WAN WITH?!)

Shaak-Ti: Ahsoka’s Aunt. They’re totally related. (“No, they’re not.” “Says who?” “Um, EVERYONE?!”) She’s cool, nice to the clone boys. I like her horns. 

Saesee Tiin : Angry Bull Boy. He looks like a minotaur whose daddy left him at a Wal-Mart instead of the Labyrinth after drinking too much.

Deepa Billaba: My Coworker Anu. Seriously! She looks JUST LIKE HER. I even texted her a screenshot, and she used that as her Slack Channel picture for the longest time. Nice lady, she's a good master to Lil Kanan. Hm, Lil Kanan sounds like a rap person my niece would listen to.

Ki-Adi-Mundi: Mutant-Mall-Santa. Look me dead ass in the eye and tell me the man don’t look like he was supposed to hand out presents and ask kids what they want for Christmas and ended up hanging out in toxic waste instead. He's a snotty asshole, I don't like him, he thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

Luminara Undali: Lady-in-Drape. She’s a green lady, and she wears a drape. Meat Muffin, I'm tired and it's about to snow.

Barriss Offee: Little Lady-in-Drape. Man, she was awful, but she had good points, ya know? Kind of like Darth Maul. Do you think Darth Maul and Obi-Wan ever dated? Or would Obi-Wan’s boyfriend get jealous? 

Quinlan Voss: College-Hippie-Boy. Doesn’t he just look like one of those goofs that fart around with hackysacks all day long? I'd buy weed from him if he was selling, he looks like an exporter and consumer, if you know what I mean.

Even Piall: Dobby the House Jedi. Man he looks like he was on his way to help Harry Potter or something and ended up in a bathrobe with a light saber. Ah well. 

*= Savage is ‘Saul’ and Feral is ‘Paul’. So it’s Maul, Saul, and Paul. I strained a muscle laughing when I got this. 

Tagging my Redneck Doug stans here! @amalthiaph @sued134 @eyecandyeoz @thecoffeelorian @merkitty49 @megmca @skellymomam I missing anyone?

Let me know if I missed any Jedi, those were the ones that came up that Doug didn't immediately recognize.

[quartings]

So, I just watched a censored cut of The Suicide Squad (2021) on a plane...

Let me tell you, it was one of the weirdest movie-watching experiences of my life. All the intense gore and violence was kept, but all the swearing was re-dubbed over by the original cast and the mild nudity was cut, which really makes me wonder who the heck this version of the film was even for?? What kind of person can watch people get blown up into bloody chunks but can’t handle the word “bastard”??

Here are some of the highlights from the censored cut that I thought were the most amusing. Again, reminder that the original actors all ADR’d over the swears with new dialogue.

· Harley’s “What the FUCK??” at TDK was changed to “What is THAT??”

· Bloodsport and Tyla’s “FUCK YOU!!”s were changed to “FORGET YOU!!” like Ceelo Green.

· More F-Bombs from Bloodsport were cut, leading to “I’m no (fighting) leader!!” and “You’re threatening my (teenage) daughter!!”

· Calendar Man’s insult to Polkadot Man was changed from “You fucking pussy!!” to “You flaming sissy!!”

· Peacemaker: “Starfish is a slang term for (an anus).” How is that any better than saying “butthole”??

· The entire exchange about dicks on the beach was changed to be about bricks instead, as was any future usage of the word “dick”. “If this whole beach was covered in (bricks), and someone said I had to eat every single (brick) on the beach for liberty, I would say no problem-o.” “Why would someone put (bricks) all over the beach??”

· Ratcatcher 2’s “You bastard!” was changed to “You bad fish!!”

· The entire “Well that’s just racist” exchange was cut.

· Bloodsport: “Why the (blood) would I want a leaf?!”

· Peacemaker’s jerking off taunt was cut. Characters still flip each other off in this cut though.

· Flag and Harley get to say “freaking”, so I don’t understand why it wasn’t used as a blanket censor for the f word instead.

· Harley’s “RIP to that absolutely beautiful monster between your legs” was kept in.

· King Shark’s “FUCK!!” was changed to “Pfflegh!”

· Bloodsport saying “Pissmaker” was kept

· Ratcatcher 2: “Do you want a dozen angry rodents crawling up your (pants)??”

· The 69 joke was kept

· Peacemaker: “MOTHER(TRUCKER)!!”

· Bloodsport’s “Jesus Christ…” was changed to “Holy Moses…”

· Flag’s “Who ate all the empanadas?” has the f word cut and sounds weirdly friendlier in the take they used.

· Harley: “I love the rain~ It’s like angels are (spitting) all over us~!”

· I swear Thinker’s “Sonofabit-!” when he’s getting slammed in the retinal scanner was changed to “Sonofawit-!”

· Thinker: “AMERICAN (GOOD OL’) ASTRONAUTS FOUND STARRO! YANKEE (****) DOODLE DANDIES!!”

· Flag’s “It’s time these sonsofbitches need to be held accountable-!” was changed to “It’s time these (stinkers) need to be held accountable-!”

· Polkadot Man’s “FUCK!!” in response to the others forgetting Milton was changed to “FUDGE!!”

· One of the Corto Maltese generals shouting “Puta!!” was changed to “Nunca!!”

· Economos: “WE’VE GOT A (FREAKING) KAIJU UP (ON) THIS (SCREEN)!!”

· Waller’s whole rant at the squad was censored, so it was hilarious to hear Viola Davis scream the absolutely neutered “FILTH!! TURN AROUND, GOSHDAMMIT! YOU STUPID IDIOTS! LOSERS!! DAMN IT, TASK FORCE X! THIS IS YOUR LAST AND FINAL WARNING!!”

· Flo: “GET ON THE SATELLITE, DALE YOU (FLAMING MEATHEAD)!!”

· And lastly, my personal favorite censorship, only because it actually fits thematically, comes from Polkadot Man’s last words: “I’M A MOTHER(-FIGHTING) SUPERHERO-!!”

[anumacy]

nothing to do nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing

[crappy-homestuck-confessions]

I want more hurt/comfort fanfics involving eridan where feferi is the one to comfort him

Most of the ones I see have sollux be the one to comfort him, and, in my opinion, he is not the right person to do it.

.

[anonym-potato]

Nein Again - 2x03 "The Midnight Chase"

It's that day again gang! Last time, the Nott the Best Detective Agency (and associates) convened for the first time to uncover the truth behind the Mystery of the Putrescent Patrons. Also, if you haven't seen it yet, @delphi-star has started a Discord server for this group rewatch. If you're interested, be sure to check it out. Spoilers ahoy!

I rate this Sam Riegel Laura Bailey DnD Beyond Ad a 5/10

I could not imagine DMing less than a week after I got my wisdom teeth out. Kudos Matt.

I love all the euphemisms Matt keeps having to use because the party doesn't have a name yet (and is still barely a party)

You can tell this was recorded in early 2018, they're making Hamilton references.

I love the serendipity of Beau's flashy acrobatic moves missing but good ol' fashioned bar brawl tactics always serve her well.

Caleb's spells are already wonderfully described.

And thus begins the saga of Jester missing all her attacks.

"I'll bite you in the anus!" -Travis Willingham(?)

Molly's the first man down...in the writing biz, I think they call this foreshadowing.

"No, dead forever." Sam you might be overdoing it

I'm kinda sad the Fjord-Ford puns petered out

Spending forever on the logistics of dumping bodies...level 2!

"That random book about Fiends has all the answers about the Fiend we're chasing!" I love you Caleb

Beau nearly getting kicked by a horse 😆

Jester's vandal habits have already infiltrated the rest of the gang

Caleb and Nott are already so cute...the little head nuzzles...him dancing with her...my heart

I really do love the shopkeep at Burnished Bibliots

And here begin the se(a)men jokes.

They nearly killed Matt with ejaculation jokes in episode 3

"Fuckin' Anime actors." I DIED

Also Molly's "'CAUSE I'M WEIRD" rant

Fjord's senile old man gambit is so good work that CHA score

Wow they really weren't hiding Fjord's fake accent this is some Glass Onion shit

Every time Marisha gets real Southern and Travis calls her Kentucky, it makes me smile.

"As you guys slowly become a cohesive unit"

The "These Shells Have Been Devoured" gag is so dumb and I love it these idiots.

Spooky Witch In A Hut-Shadowing

I love all of Matt's early descriptions of Fjord's Warlock stuff, it's so creepy

Jester and Nott's attachment to the "Toya is Kylre's Anglerfish Lure Tentacle Thing" is making me think of that one early C3 fight.

Here we see the beginnings of the Mighty Nein's evolution into the Ultimate Cockroach Party, with things like the Wrathful Smite on Kylre to limit his movement and Beau focusing on Toya. We'll kill you and you won't get to do anything about it.

I really love the HDYWTDT on Kylre.

And then one fucking Imp.

Nott's Natural 20 on mouth-to-mouth 😆

In conclusion: "Exandria has two moons?" BOY IT SURE DOES

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

I really need to share this... THING I left as a YouTube comment

"[Warning - huge The Elder Scrolls cosmology rant that I SWEAR was just supposed to be a funny little joke at one point]

I kinda love the Dwemer as the Precursors trope bc, in lore, the fact that they tried to use the Heart of Lorkhan (aka Shezzar aka Shor aka maybe possibly Pelinal in his past life, the creator deity of the entire world more-or-less, depending on how you look at it) and subsequently just VANISHED is kind of insane. Like they didn't DIE, they didn't actually get TRANSPORTED anywhere, just straight up VANISHED. For real world terms it's like if the very energy that made up their bodies was just… gone. The one and only instance of energy being, for lack of a better word, destroyed. Can you imagine that? That's basically what happened to the Dwemer, and nobody really knows why - the gods didn't actually punish them, nobody really DID anything about them trying to use the Heart of Lorkhan, they just did and subsequently vanished. It's probably the greatest mystery in the whole of Mundus and how do most people react?

"Welp, the Dwemer did a silly and vanished. Who gives a shit, I'm out of Skooma / my son drinks milk / filthy n'wah keep showing up / any other random personal issue." Literally nobody, even the brainiest of brainiacs, gives half a shit. The only thing some people care about is what they can learn from Dwemer tech, and even THEN nobody's thinking about how they could use the automatons as free labor or how steam could revolutionize transportation or any of that shit, instead the only thing anyone ever cares about is typically some magic McGuffin which typically doesn't make any sense whatsoever as to why the Dwemer would even make it.

I mean, again, to reinforce this, every single living being is, to an extent, a divine spirit given form as offspring of the Ehlnofey, who in turn were the offspring of the Aedra (aka the gods), who in turn are sort of the result of Existance Itself (Anu) pondering itself, thus creating it's own Soul (Anuiel) which wished to define itself by defining its own limitations, creating Sithis, then they all fucking ponder themselves so hard they make the et'Ada, one of which was Lorkhan, and then depending on who you ask, Lorkhan either tricked the et'Ada to create the world by pondering their own deaths or by convincing them of the beauty of parenthood or similar. If we follow the "ponder own death" storyline, some of the et'Ada straight up die, others nope the fuck out when they see what's up (among them, most famously, Magnus) and the remaining ones either sacrifice themselves to stabilize the world, essentially BECOMING the physical world or concepts in the world, being now referred to as "World Bones", or refuse to give themselves fully to create the world, choosing instead to populate it with their offspring and becoming the Aedra (also before you ask the Daedra are either the et'Ada who COMPLETELY refused to give anything at all when the world was created but wanted to stick around anyway, reaping all the benefits to no cost to themselves or else are illusions dreamt up by the et'Ada who pondered their own death).

So, mortals are infinitely small fragments of the divine, the One that is Everything, so the Dwemer couldn't have just VANISHED vanished, since they SHOULD still be a part of Anu, but they are nonetheless completely fucking vanished anyway because fuck you. I'm saying they're so thoroughly GONE that NOBODY knows where the fuck they are. At least nobody up to and including the Aedra, the third fucking tier of divinity - we're probably, like, tier 20 AT BEST when we play as the Dragonborn, btw, and that's just bc we have the soul of a Dragon, thereby counting as a descendant of Akatosh, the first ever Aedra. Regular people are probably at like, tier one sjjgillion or something. And the Aedra still (assumedly) have not a clue. Literally the only more divine existences are Anuiel and Sithis in tier 2 and Anu in tier 1, being Literally The Sum Of Everything. Sithis more or less interacts with the physical world via the Dark Brotherhood, at least in the sense that his wife (where is she even from btw), the Night Mother, orders the Brotherhood to murk people for pretty much no reason than she said so and her will is the will of Sithis or whatever. Not relevant - what I mean to say with this is that, essentially, any active actor in the world CAN'T know where the Dwemer went bc then "nobody knows" would be false, so even tier 2 beings don't know. Literally only the Sum Of Everything In Existance, the fucking personification of Before The Big Bang, knows where they went, and THAT tier 1 being is, as far as we all know, purely theoretical in it's existence.

To repeat myself. LITERALLY. NOBODY. KNOWS. Where the Dwemer went. Not even Ultra God knows. Fucking God Squared doesn't know. Only Actually God But For Real This Time MAYBE knows, but we don't know that bc literally nobody can talk to it??? So. AGAIN. NOBODY KNOWS. And your common Nord is more concerned about whether you, a complete stranger, do or don't drink milk."

[jasper-the-menace]

Jasper's Barely-Hinged Discord Scorpion Rant

Alright, context, I started this rant because I was mad about how the tlincallis (of Dungeons and Dragons second and fifth edition) were designed and handled. I put my foot down at the point where they were reported to have eggs. No, I refuse to accept this.

PLEASE NOTE! While I will not be showing any actual images of real-life scorpions, there will be drawings of them and drawings of fantasy and sci-fi characters inspired by scorpions. Some of them are even weirder-looking than actual scorpions. Fellow arachnophobes, continue at your own risk.

We are also going to be talking about scorpion sex in the context of how they mate and launch babies out. This is my second Tumblr post on the subject and I'm afraid that this might become a repeating pattern. Everyone on Tumblr thinks I'm the scorpion person now.

With that said, have this barely-edited compilation of my feral Discord messages on the subject.

You can tell someone who doesn’t know a lot about scorpions wrote the lore for the tlincallis because there’s a heavy emphasis on egg-laying for their reproduction. Meanwhile, scorpions are one of the only arachnids that give live birth.

I’m not expecting WOTC writers to watch videos of scorpions molting or launching baby missiles over and over again, but I am expecting them to at least skim the Wikipedia article, ya know? I understand that I’m Scorpion Research Georg, but still.

Scorpions fuck weird. Both “sexes” have the same thing - an orfice known as the genital operculum (plural: genital opercula). In order to reproduce, the male will drop a sperm packet on the ground and “dance” with the female to lead her over it. If she’s game, she’ll squat and just kind of vacuum it up into her genital operculum. This is followed by what is called a “mating plug” to keep the sperm inside. The two scorpions will then split away from each other, because scorpions don’t believe in cuddles and aftercare.

Then we get to the actual birth. Or as I like to call it, the Fedex packages.

A scorpion will give birth to between 3 and 100 young, depending on the species - though notably, the size of the scorpion does not impact the number of babies they can have.

The babies are folded up very nicely inside of the mother, and when she gives birth to them, they launch out like little missiles into her waiting pedipalps and front legs, unfold, and then climb onto or are placed onto her back while their next sibling is launched. A mother scorpion is actually a super good parent, and the entire brood will attach to her with little suckers on their tarsi, because they can’t eat or sting yet.

Depending on the species, it will take between 5 and 25 days for them to undergo their first molt - in unison as a brood, taking between 6 and 8 hours - and reach the juvenile stage. Juveniles resemble small versions of the adults and can eat and sting, though they’re still soft and unpigmented. They’ll leave the mother’s back to explore in safety, but then scurry back to her if there’s danger around. Once their carapace hardens and gains color, they can start hunting on their own and will often leave their mother.

A scorpion will undergo an average of 6 molts to reach full adulthood, which, depending on the species, can take between 6 months and nearly 7 years. The average lifespan depends on the species, with some living up to 25 years.

Re: the biological terms I used, here’s a picture and explanation from the Wikipedia article:

1 = Cephalothorax or Prosoma; 2 = Preabdomen or Mesosoma; 3 = Tail or Metasoma; 4 = Claws or Pedipalps; 5 = Legs; 6 = Mouth parts or Chelicerae; 7 = Pincers or Chelae; 8 = Moveable claw or Tarsus; 9 = Fixed claw or Manus; 10 = Stinger or Aculeus; 11 = Telson (anus in previous joint); 12 = Opening of book lungs

Post-coitus cannibalism has never been reliably reported in scorpions.

Scorpions are also kinky fuckers but no one’s ready for that conversation.

So, I will give this much to WOTC writers regarding the tlincallis - most species of scorpions do actively hunt their prey. (Though there are several species that are just sit-and-wait predators.) They are also opportunistic hunters, eating primarily invertebrates but occasionally also going for things like lizards, snakes, and small mammals, though scorpions with larger claws will also go after earthworms and mollusks.

What I will not give them credit for is the method of hunting. A scorpion’s primary hunting tool is its claws. Only large and aggressive prey is given a sting - the method of death is still typically via claw, even in that case.

They also don’t chew. They rip off pieces of their prey and put those pieces in a pre-oral cavity, which uses digestive juices from the gut to start the digestion process. Once it’s liquid enough, it gets sucked right into the gut. Any indigestible matter is ejected at this stage.

They do have an anus separate from the genital operculum, and it runs up into the tail. Scorpions will eat a large amount of food in one meal, and when this is combined with their low metabolic rate and relatively inactive lifestyle, it means that they can survive for 6 to 12 months without starvation.

So no, Wizards Of The Coast, a band of scorpion people would NOT be migratory by compulsion, even if they were aggressive.

And yeah, scorpions are mainly found in deserts, but that’s so limiting. They’ve adapted to nearly every sort of biome and appear all across the world, except in Antartica. So you can literally put them anywhere.

The scorpion is found in Greek mythology (Artemis or Gaia sending it to kill Orion) along with in a page of the Anglo-Saxon Herbal.

Despite the scorpion’s usage in myths, stories, and weapons of war, very few of them are actually capable of killing a human (barring allergy). 25 species out of more than 2,500 have venom deadly to humans. Most of, if not all of these, belong to the family Buthidae, which is the largest family.

Now it’s time for “Jasper analyzes scorpions from different media”! I’ve already dragged the tlincalli for filth, so we’ll pivot to look at another WOTC media: Magic The Gathering.

Scorpions don’t get a lot of rep. At best, they appear as one-off cards. However. Thanks to vising two primarily-desert planes (Amonkhet and the Vorthos-panned Thunder Junction), we have some Guys.

We’ll start with the Scorpion God of Amonkhet. This guy did not used to look like this, but once Nicol Bolas got all up in everybody’s business, he twisted the Scorpion God, Locust God, and Scarab God into giant monstrosities and erased knowledge of their names, even from themselves, and then used them to “harvest” the mortals he had been cultivating to create an undead army. The Scorpion God killed the gods Rhonas, Oketra, and Kefnet, before finally being killed by Hazoret and a group of rebelling mortals.

He is notably the only one of the “twisted” gods to have been killed – the Locust and Scarab Gods both survived, as did Hazoret, and all three defended Amonkhet later from New Phyrexia getting all up in everyone’s business.

(Re: that third artwork, why is he kinda...)

Meanwhile, on Thunder Junction...

Oh, Thunder Junction. If not for the fact that no one in the design and writing department could agree on and work together to determine the right approach to Western tropes, you could have been interesting.

Having said that, the scorpion dragons? Not native to there. Instead, they’re from Gastal, a plane that was mentioned one (1) time back in the day. I’m willing to overlook some questions about these blokes for the sake of blaming the dragon half on everything I don’t think are scorpion-enough when it comes to these guys.

Now, for my third example... I’m going to preface this with the fact that LEGO’s Legends of Chima theme was a problematic mess in hindsight. I still love it with my entire soul, but it was a fucking nightmare.

But within that is the Scorpion Tribe, what is possibly my favorite current example of what you can do with scorpions in a (science-)fantasy setting.

The Scorpions were accidentally evolved with the magic MacGuffin of the series (Chi) thanks to some foolishness going on, and they were the antagonists of season two (or rather, wave two, as they were technically the latter half of season one and the beginning of season two). They’re led by a king, Scorm, and a general, Scolder. And yes, they all stick to the Sc- naming theme, with one exception from the online game.

So, how do you create an anthro Scorpion Lego figure? Like this, of course!

Now, something interesting to note is that because the Chi was not safely introduced to these guys, some of them didn’t “evolve” all the way and still have a scorpion lower body, like a weird centaur. Meet Scutter, posterchild for this, even though his brother Scrug speed-“evolved” to humanoid form.

Something interesting to note is just how flexible and catlike the tails of these Scorpions are. They can flick around and even hold things when curled up.

Another fun thing about Chima is that they don’t put my boys in the desert. Instead, they live in caves in a very hostile jungle. I’m so proud of them.

Analyzing the venom of these guys, though...

Scorpion God = full of god-killing venom

Akul = a "dark curse" that's basically fantasy tuberculosis

Scorpions from Chima = hypnosis mind-control agent that wears off fairly quickly

(Preface for this section: These were random additions that I sent a while later, with little connection to each other.)

Scorpion dads do tend to be deadbeats, but a scorpion mom figure? I would chew that right up.

Re: molting, it is a long, long process, even for something as small as a scorpion. So the bigger they are, the longer it's probably gonna take. It requires a lot of calorie-loading beforehand and can be predicted based on “air pockets” that appear at the sides of the exoskeleton, to give them wiggle room. Scorpions are soft for several days after molting and avoid eating anything until they harden back up.

And did I mention that scorpions glow under ultraviolet light?

So...yeah! Scorpions are so fucking cool, and this is just an overview! This isn't even getting into any particular species! There's just so much to explore in terms of scorpions in fantasy settings, so seeing them reduced to Desert Bad Guy over and over again annoys me.

Put these animals into some situations.

[littlelovelyspiderling]

H.....bsbsvvsvssvI don't know I I ever did send an ask before.but Uhshshsh I'm still a bit shy to sending asks and stuff — But when I was a teen -----

I loved YOUR tickle stories with Peter!!!! All of the sories makes me so happy!! And giggly— Dialed to Eleven and Stab Deterrent, Doc Oc, tickle monsters, interrogation - OKAY LITERALLY every Spidey tikkie fic is my favourite 🌷💗🌸 I feel like I can say every story off by heart 😭🌸❤️ /positive emotions☁️🤍

I also read your other tkl stories with Zuko and I LOVE THEM TOO

I COUNTED it ✨canon✨ To Peters story cos your writing is the best. Like the best. Of the best. And totally didn't give me lee mood buzzies for days jsgdhdh

You was also my teenhood??? ONE OF my main big Inspiration to even write tkl stories!! WJHEHSHSHS

I saw you post a series now and I was like:

“WHAAAALIYFUTKDUTKDYRKDYRDJYRDRDYYRJSDYRJYRDJYRDJYRDJ“ AAAA. New content to see!! I'm still a biiiiit behind— OvO

Please please please don't let anyone stop your love for. What you do!!! I love your writing so much ❤️

— Lola / Anu ☁️✨⚡💜

WRITER LOVE TO YOUUUUUUUU

Slightly embarrassed...that I ranted that long -

heehee never be embarrassed for long ranting to me, I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT TRULY 😤

awww you’re too kind omggg 😭🩵 i’m amazed you remember all the names of those stories cuz i don’t think even i could at this point lol 😅 im very happy you enjoyed my old peter + zuko fluff content and hope you like the newer longer series i’m currently writing for spideytorch!! it’s more focused on plot & character than my previous ones (plus gay romance heehee) but has lots of cute ticklish!peter moments in it cuz you know i can’t abandon my roots completely 😌

wow so grateful i could be a writing inspiration to you!! ALL THE WRITER LOVE BACK TO YOU BEAUTIFUL FRIEND ✏️♥️✏️♥️

[p1aid-scarvs]

LAST ARC OF THE YEAR RAMBLES

okay this is RAMBLES rambles aka your average school essay so erm lets go!!!!!

Section 1 ✨last arc of the year✨

from what i've gleaned so far from the 30 seconds i can see on patreon *sobs in poor* the last arc is called 'battle for planet x' and im guessing the moons and planets (probably the rockies + neptune + maybe saturn) are gonna team up to somehow reinstate jupiter in the system.

theres almost definitely gonna be a confrontation between planet x and jupiter, and maybe saturn. there are multiple ways this would pan out so here are a bunch of possibilities:

1) planet x forgives jupiter after realising how important he is and backs down, either a) returning to his second orbit outside the kuiper belt, b) going to a new orbit closer to the system or c) leaving the system altogether to go join a new one or be rogue 2) planet x doesnt gaf and proceeds to beat the shit out of jupiter (and maybe the other planets asw) until a) the sun intervenes and probably kicks him out or b) rules the solar system, although this is pretty unlikely

3) option 2, but jupiter (and maybe saturn, neptune and the rocky planets & moons) smack his blueberry looking ahh outta there instead, either a) diplomatically b) crazy asteroid fight c) diplomatically, but yelling

4) a compromise where both planet x and jupiter get to be part of the system, though probably not because of the one and only gravity (curse you issac newton!!! /j)

or maybe 5) jupiter won't come back at all and planet x's manipulation tactics end up working, uranus becomes caelus (booo!!! hes iconic planet x do NOT steal that diva away from me) & essentially planet x's puppet.

obviously there's a lot of other different plot deviations possible but these are like the ones i can skim off the top of my head so im gonna refer to any other possibility as option x. because x unknown mysterious omg ahahhahha im so funny

if planet x doesn't pull a crazy plot twist and the most probable, humane and kid-friendly option (1) happens all the planets are almost definitely going to swear to NOT make any more your anus jokes because that's what planet x uses to manipulate uranus, his insecurities.

(gonna pull a side quest here and argue that uranus should've had a much more cold and stoic personality because coldest planet buuuut i'll make a rant later, not now)

however if solarballs wants to un generic itself and pulls an option 2, 3, 4 or no option at all then idfk man probably the same scenario with uranus if planet x does genuinely GET OUT!!! of here

anyways heres list of all the probabilities based on its likeliness because i am bored (most likely to least, left to right top to bottom be grateful i'm not torturing your fingers with the amount of scrolling you're doing) 1a, 2a, 3c, 3a, 1c, 1b, 3b, 4, x, 5, 2b

my personal favorite is option 3b because we haven't had any good fights in a long time live laugh moon revolution lol

Section 2: THEIA

okay so i absolutely fucking love theia and one of the first arcs of 2025 are DEFINITELY gonna be the long-awaited THEIA ARC!!!

based on jupiter's guilty ass interactions when talking about theia we can assume that he IS in fact guilty for theia and earth colliding. i searched to make sure, and yep:

source: wikipedia

venus being on the list of potential murderer surprised me ngl but it would tie into their personality

anyways here's a theory: mars knows. venus probably suppressed the memory because that's what some people do but mars probably experienced flashbacks of theia's collision with earth when jupiter admitted to brutally massacring the early rocky planets.

this is all speculative because i dont have patreon and cant see the post detailing solarballs' 2025 plans so

thats all i think

bye bye time to figure out how to get earth plushie for christmas

[our-queer-experience]

Omg hi so i have SO many opinions about sex ed so imma keep this short and only rant about one major problem i dont hear a lot of people talk about

I feel like every once in a while “pleasure-based sex ed” comes up and then a lot of people react with disgust and “we shouldn’t teach kids that!” But i think its really really important! It would be something that would be taught to older kids, like 16-18. bc by then a lot of them are having sex, they need to know how to not hurt eachother. And thats a lot of what the point of pleasure-based sex ed is supposed to be, teaching that safe-sex is supposed to feel good, and if it doesnt feel good, its probably not the safest thing! (And im talking about actual intercourse + oral/digital sex here, not kinks, i thinks that’s different. Kink should still be taught to them, this same age group)

Just…. We should be taught to not be super rough or fast with eachother’s genitals, we should be taught that the clitoris is more pleasurable than the vaginal opening, we should be taught that you need to clip your nails before you finger anybody, we should be taught to use lube bc it both feels better and is SAFER (prevent friction and therefore unwanted micro abrasions which can cause infections), we should be taught to be careful with your teeth on someone’s penis/vulva. You should be taught that you need to clean and then stretch your anus, and use lube if you’re going to do anal, you should be taught not to grab someone’s penis very tightly or stroke them without proper lubrication (especially if they dont have foreskin). They should be taught that sex, even when having vaginal sex for the first time, should never hurt and you should not be bleeding from sex. They should be taught that you need to listen attentively to your partner and what they say feels good or not. They should be taught that if something hurts, something might be wrong and they should be taught the steps to access that (stop -> back to foreplay -> use more lube -> retry. If it feels better, continue. If it still hurts, you should consider seeing a doctor, something may be wrong).

Like yes yes, earlier stages of sex ed should be about contraceptive and sti-preventive safety, but later stages of sex-ed is still safety!!! Yes, sex can be used to procreate, but the main reason humans have sex is because of pleasure. We want to feel good, and/or be close and intimate with a partner. Teach them how to have sex in a way that is safe and feels good for all involved.

you’re absolutely right!!!

[charmingradiobelle]

Don’t mind me ranting about big bang theory for a moment

I really hate how the last episode before the finale ended for Raj and Anu. It felt like such a lazy way to make them break up again. Everybody going “oh but she wasn’t right for you anyway! She doesn’t like romantic movies!” like,, ok??? Isn’t the whole point of the show that opposites attract? Anyway, Bernadette makes fun of Howard for doing magic. Amy constantly calls Sheldon’s favorite shows ‘dumb’. Penny literally tossed all of Leonard’s nerdy merch into storage without his permission. But Anu not liking the same movies as Raj means they weren’t meant to be together??? Make it make sense