#anticlaire

[thoughtfulchaos773]

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your blog is lovely!!! i'm addicted

awh thanks so much! xx

[osamkunyari-blog]

Oh ayan Claire, Fate na ang gumagawa ng paraan para maEvict ka sa PBB. Shupi te!

Haha. Affected ako eh. OA ko lang. Pag kasabi na nominated si Claire. Napatalon agad ako sa tuwa eh. Mehehe! :3

[si-kat-ako-blog]

CLAAAAAAIIIIIREEEEE!

“Sana BIRTHDAY CANDLE  ka na lang… para pag namatay ka marami ang magpapalak-pakan.” :p :))

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Fixing & Empathy

This is a long one- and of course, I'm talking about the table scene. But it's such a great example here.

How Carmy connects with Syd and Claire shows the difference between Empathy and Fixing. Fixing is our instinct when our partner is in feelings of discomfort; we sympathize and try to see the silver lining for this person; we want to solve their problems instead of sitting in pain with our partner. Empathy, you're showing someone you care and understand; it's finding something within you to connect to the other person. This is the art of vulnerability.

Fixing

Claire: When we were, like, six, she, uh, fell off a fence and broke her arm, and it scared the sh¡t out of everybody? Except me, I just, like, sat there and stared at her arm.

Carmy: 'Cause you wanted to fix it?

Claire: I wanted to understand it.

Carmy: Right.

This has become my favorite interaction of the Claire & Carmy storyline. It's the summary of their relationship, a foreshadowing, if you will.

If I fill in the blanks, she is a fixer, at least in romantic relationships. I know Molly said with Carmy it's the first time Claire has stood up for herself. Maybe that's what she means: Claire wants to fix her partners; she's an enabler, as @moodyeucalyptus said. Enabling is when someone else will always fix, solve, or make the consequences disappear, and I noticed this dynamic in 2x08.

2x08: She listens to his problems and reminds him that everything is fine the night after his panic attack. When Claire asks Carmy what he's thinking about. He can't be honest that he's still thinking about the suppression test because she will attempt to fix it. He does not trust her with his feelings of discomfort. The fixing Claire does is futile support.

The way she attempts to fix Carmy, we hear through Carmy himself. A panic attack about his family gatherings - Claire's solution is finding a new meaning, making the cannolis your own. chaos menu? Could you try making it something you care about?

Can she truly understand and connect with what he's feeling? Carmy not defining their relationship could mean the lack of a bond on Carmy's part.

Part of the solution to Carmy's dilemmas on the show lies in connecting - moving out of the constant state of isolation.

Connection improves Carmy; when he initiates contact, he becomes a better version of himself. He stops screaming, gets out of his head, and can provide for others and inspire them.

All the above matches what he does for Tina, Richie, Marcus, Ebrahim, and most of all, Sydney.

It's like what Luca says in 2x04- being inspired by someone, bettering ourselves because of the person next to us- and really getting out there in the world means opening ourselves up to other people, which is what Carmy and Syd do for each other- they use empathy as a source of bonding.

Blocking was talked about for their scenes before, how one always initiates closeness- Carmy usually does that, especially in season 2. That need for contact - touching Syd on her back and shoulders - shows Carmy's longing for closeness with Sydney.

Before I get to empathy, Here's the thing: I know people hate to say that Carmy relies on Sydney or that she's his peace argument, but this does not mean Sydney actively tries to fix Carmy. Just Sydney's presence ignites change in him; just by her honesty, he's willing to try and be there for someone and get out of that place where he's hiding within himself. Sometimes, it's forgotten that social isolation can impact our mental health, and bonding with others can make positive changes.

Empathy

"...empathy is kind of this sacred space. When someone's kind of in a deep hole, and they shout out from the bottom, and they say hey it's dark, I'm overwhelmed, and then we look, and we say, "Hey," we come down."I know what it's like down here, and you're not alone."

-Brene Brown

I talked about the table scene fifty-eleven times. It makes a great example of the connection Carmy feels to Sydney.

When we're with people - our person - they make us want to be better. We don't fear a future; we expect a future with this person. There's this knowing Carmy has about Sydney; he knows whatever this relationship is, they'll work on it.

Carmy & Sydney show us the correct way to deal with your partner's feelings is empathy- listening to one another, instead of correcting emotions- you get in the hole- or table with them and express your own fears. He leaves space for Sydney to share her concerns and doesn't try to correct those feelings. He affirms and tells her he's right there with her (I fuck things up all the time), and he's honest- the without-you dialogue isn't just to make her feel better. It's his own moment of vulnerability.

When Carmy says I won't let you, I think he will hold his side and make it easier so they can fix themselves. All while empathizing with each other during their partnership.

Writing this makes the scene of the walk-in even more heartbreaking. Carmy was in the dark hole- calling for Sydney to bond with him; they couldn't help each other :(.

This is why I can't blame Carmy for screaming at Richie; he sort of begged Richie for empathy, but Richie judged him- causing panic at that moment and more isolation.

Though the end of season two was heartbreaking, I have faith we'll get more intimate, empathetic scenes despite the fall in season two.

This is a roundabout way to say- whether they end up together romantically or not (they will i just say this for the sycarmy doubters), Carmy pretty much confirms his bond with Sydney is unlike any other he's experienced, and no one can replace what he feels for her- even if someone is sitting at their table.

SIDEBAR: Read this insightful post by @bioloyg about Carmy fixing himself.

I've referenced Brene Brown's Empathy Vs. Sympathy

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Don't judge me, but I want to put together a Syd/Claire comparisons masterlist.

If you're interested and if you wrote meta on that subject, please reply so I can add it to my list and credit you!

There were so many I gotta reread for research entertainment reasons.

[ciaomarie]

Chris and Joana are playing in our faces!!

Sidenote: I was truly shocked that Tiff upgraded as much as she did. She is blunt and seems very unpolished compared to Frank (yes, I'm being classist). Worst of all, she's insensitive to Richie's feelings and told their daughter he is alone. In another year, Richie will be out of HER league.

When they say it's not a love story, but two men are reminiscing about their exes and trying to move on.

[osamkunyari-blog]

Leche Claire, muka kang Doggy!

[osamkunyari-blog]

Yung totoo Claire? Bat epeleptic ka mag salita? HAHA! Kailangan talaga kasama buong muka kapag nakikipag sagutan? Hahaha!

[osamkunyari-blog]

Ayan nanaman si Claire na nang-aangkin kay Yves. Hahaha!

[osamkunyari-blog]

Makasabi ng malandi si Claire eh. Tuktukan ko Lungs niya. Bitch siya!

Taena. Affected masyado sa mga boys na nakapaligid kay Myrtle. Ayaw na lang kasing tanggapin ni Claire eh. BV. Kahit ipag tabuyan pa ni Myrtle si Yves papunta kay Claire. Di yun pupunta. Grabe. Sa landi ng claire na yun. Haha!! Gahd! She's getting on my nerves!

[osamkunyari-blog]

Insecurity kills, Claire. Tanggapin ka kasi mas maganda si Myrtle. =))

Na-friendzone siya ni Yves eh. NGANGA! :O

[osamkunyari-blog]

Bet ko si Kharen eh.

Kasi Hater den siya ni Claire. Kung ako andun. Hihilahin ko pa buhok ni Claire. Mabura lang muka nun sa mundong ibabaw. *EVIL LAUGH* =)))

[osamkunyari-blog]

"Kaya ako lapitin ng boys kasi SWEET talaga ako eh."

TANGINA LANG CLAIRE?! Kailangan pinapamuka? BV ka PROMISE. 

[osamkunyari-blog]

Tangama lang ni Claire.

Kung pwede lang mag Vote to Evict na. Iboboto ko na talaga si Claire ngayon. Bvkels. Ampucha. Nganga siya pag na 'Evict yon. Kesho natamaan daw siya sa Wake up call ni Big Brother na Pretty Girls. Lul. Galing mag joke. Tongue enuh. =)))