#another spoiler because i thought i would finish today but couldn't

[put-a-keep-are-you-foo-dell]

[respectthepetty]

Okay, your posts about When it Rains it Pours finally made me start watching today (actually mainly because I just couldn't figure out who all the characters were and I was very confused but wanted to understand). I've finished ep 2 but I have some questions.

First, what's up with two of them being called Kazuaki? I'm sure I've missed something. At first, I was confused because when Hagiwara went to get his new pass card I thought Nakarai would recognise his name from the emails...but he didn't. And then in ep 2 Nakarai stared at Hagiwara's pass card and Hagiwara covered it up... Have I missed something significant around the names?

And second, I know you've written a lot about the 'background noise' of the series so far, but I noticed a water drop sound in ep 1 at a particular moment, and then two water drops sounds at another particular moment in ep 2, both during conversations with Nakarai and Fujisawa - is this a thing? (I guess I mean beyond the symbolism of the rain in general) -> That the water drops signify something changing in the their relationship? (Their conflict/separation increasing?) Do those waterdrops reoccur in later eps and increase each time? (Because I hope they do). -> I'm presuming here that you're watching with the sound on unlike the Thai dramas which I know you watch on mute.

Sorry if this is incoherent but it's late o'clock and I want to understand every opinion and thought you have on this show. I think I might be as obsessed by your thoughts on the show as you are about the show.

DADDY! You can't ask questions like this because it means I'm going to have to give some kind of spoilers, but they won't ruin the show for you, I promise:

What's up with two of them being called Kazuaki?

This is Fujisawa Kazuaki. He is Sei's roommate/boyfriend(?), and Sei is in love with him, hence why Sei's email IS Fujisawa's name (and birthday - 09/27).

This pretty and attractive man is Hagiwara Kazuaki. He is my bias because he has done nothing wrong except feel his feelings, and he is Sei's coworker who is also experiencing frustrations in his relationship.

Since Hagiwara and Sei work together, when Hagiwara went to go get new business cards, Sei noticed Hagiwara's pass HOLDER. Sei didn't pay attention to the card itself. He was looking at the holder because Fujisawa designed it since Fujisawa is a designer of workplace and home items. Sei cares about the pass because it's a connection to the man he is in love with — Fujisawa.

The show tells us Sei wasn't paying attention to the names because Hagiwara actually had to return since his name was misspelled on the cards, which he states is a common issue.

I don't know a lot about Japanese, but 1) neither Hagiwara nor Fujisawa is going by "Kazuaki" IN JAPANESE, and 2) neither name is being written out the same IN JAPANESE, so Sei wouldn't know that Hagiwara Kazuaki is a "Kazuaki" since the name is never really spoken or written.

On Hagiwara's mispelled business cards, "Kazuaki" is romanized, but in Japanese, his name is "顕"

When we see Fujisawa's name, it's "和章"

They are the same romanized, but not in Japanese. Make sense?

Do the water drops signify something changing in the their relationship?

Unlike Hagiwara who can hear the rain in his apartment, Sei never hears the rain in his apartment. He also has never gotten any affection from Fujisawa, so think about when you heard the drops?

The first time occurs when Fujisawa tells Sei that Sei isn't a parasite. One drop of affection.

The second drop happens when Fujisawa says he likes Sei just the way he is. Another drop of affection.

Now the series is called When It Rains, It Pours. This meaning will come up in the fifth episode, but normally that saying means that when one bad event happens, a lot of bad events tend to follow.

However, considering what rain means to these two (lack of intimacy and affection), the show's title is layered in meaning.

So if these men are allowed just one drop of affection, love will pour out of them. The floodgates will open.

And you assumed correctly that I'm watching this show unmuted AND at regular speed, so the obsession is strong.

[cheezeybread]

Hello :) My request is MC/Yuu overblotting- but not with magic! What I picture is them having a nervous breakdown. It starts off with them hyperventilating and being unresponsive. Then it devolves into them screaming their head off until their voice starts going hoarse and hitting anyone who tries to touch them. Maybe even throwing and destroying things. Afterwards, they refuse to speak to Crowley- even avoiding him- due to his role in their breakdown. In my mind their breakdown is caused by long term stress and triggered by Crowley telling them that there is no way for them to go home.

YES

I love this idea, it's been bouncing around in my brain for so long <3

TW // Harsh language, violent depicitions, graphic metaphors, ANGST

Uhhhh, I took some creative liberties here and there, so some things (mainly regarding Idia and Malleus because I haven't gotten up to their books in the game and refuse to look up spoilers LMAO) may not be 100% canon oopsies!

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You were starting to feel exhausted.

Well, that was an understatement, You had felt exhausted ever since you arrived at NCR...but this feeling was something slightly different. It was like a nagging sensation, yet also like some sort of wet rag placed over your mind at the same time. It was concerning, to say the least, but it was something you would have to shrug off until you could find the free time to fix it.

Which most likely wouldn't be anytime soon, knowing how the days went for you.

Grim was always priority number one. Keeping him out of trouble meant constantly keeping an eye on him, de-escalating any fights that he might try to kick up if left alone for a single moment. And since the two of you were technically one student, that meant that his grades were yours. Even though he was the only one out of the both of you that could use magic, he still slacked off at every turn, which left you to straighten every corner he tried to cut, finish every project that he wrote one sentence on and left, finish every alchemy potion he left bubbling on the cauldron, even if you had your own stuff to complete.

Then there were the tasks given to you by Crowley, your "ever so kind" benefactor. Despite his school getting you into this mess in the first place, Crowley considered it your fault, and as such, made you complete various chores to earn your weight around school. Which, paired with your classes, made for a day in and of itself. This isn't to include the yard-long to-do list he gave you at the start of every week, most of the points looking suspiciously like tasks the Headmaster was supposed to do himself...

And there were the students. Some you didn't know tried to kick up fights with you, knowing you couldn't use magic back on them. So you had to learn to avoid these students, or make sure you were always traveling with a friend. And as for your friends, every single one came to you with their problems day in and day out. A dorm dispute, so they needed to crash at Ramshackle for the night and eat all of your food. An overblot. More fights. Homework. Tutoring sessions. Projects they needed your help with.

You shook the thoughts out of your mind and continued walking to class with Grim, the Direbeast nestled in the crook of your arm as you balanced both yours and his schoolbooks in the other arm.

"And then, Ace was all like-" His voice sounded unusually high-pitched today. Or maybe that was just your imagination? Either way, it was giving you a headache.

"YN!" Another voice called out, the owner quickly jogging up to you. Ace and Deuce, ever the duo. You nodded your head at them in greeting, as Grim twisted his head around to look at them.

"Ace! Hah, I was just telling YN about what happened yesterday in the courtyard!" At the mention of the incident, Ace's face blanched, and the boy looked uncomfortable and ashamed.

"Oh, you mean with him and Professor Crewel?" Deuce spoke up, laughing already "Yeah, that was hilarious- remind me again, why exactly did he-"

"YN!" Now came one of the twins- normally you wouldn't have much of an issue telling them apart, but your head was starting to pound even harder now, making your vision a little blurrier. The fact that he didn't greet you with a nickname most likely meant that it was Jade.

"Oh...hey," You greeted, your brows furrowing from the pain in your head.

"Have you been to the greenhouse recently? I seem to have misplaced-"

"SHRIMPY" Ah, and there was twin number two. You felt your shoulders being constricted in a strong hug, much to Grim's dismay

"STAWPIT, YOU'RE CRUSHIN ME!" The Direbeast yowled, practically clawing himself out of your arms and jumping down onto the ground.

"Yo, YN, are you alri-" Ace started, but he, too, was interrupted

"YN!" Oh great! You recognized the Headmaster's annoying voice anywhere. And he waltzed up to you with all the elegance of an unpolished piece of charcoal, one hand reaching out to pull your arms free of Floyd's vice grip, and his other hand dropping a stack of papers into your now-outstretched arms. "Please, finish all of these by the end of this week, if you don't mind. It's papers for the senior's internships this year, and they need to be signed to be official, but I'm much too busy doing...other things...to be bothered."

"Are you still looking for a way to get me home?" You heard yourself mumble out loud, without even thinking of asking that question in the first place. But you had made it a habit to ask Crowley every time you saw him, so perhaps it was just muscle memory.

"Oh!" He chirped, straightening the front of his suit "Ah, yes, well, in my infinite wisdom, I have found out the reason to your barging in on our new-year's orientation, how you came to be here. But as for you returning, hmm, yes, I have managed to conclude that it is thoroughly impossible."

He said it so casually that it took you a moment to digest what had been said.

The students around you had gone silent, and you could feel their eyes all turning to you.

"What." Was all you could manage.

Crowley became increasingly uncomfortable, fidgeting with the watch he kept buttoned to his vest, then brushing off his front side, then folding his arms before repeating the process again "It is impossible to return you home, I'm afraid," he said with as much bravado as he could muster "Now, as for your stay here, since there is nothing left that I can do, you will need to continue to work for-"

Everything seemed to crumble around you in that exact moment. The feeling of damp, dreaded annoyance that had been bubbling up in the back of your mind all day came to the surface at once, and you couldn't help but slam your eyes shut tight against the world. You didn't want to see that damn Crow, you didn't want to see your friends, you didn't want to see anybody!

You opened your mouth to speak in that moment, dropping to your knees, but all that came out was a painful, sorrow-filled wail, so loud and so harsh that you could feel the inside of your throat shred with every passing second.

A puddle of black ink started to fill your mind's eye, growing larger and larger until it was all your brain could think of.

𓆩⟡𓆪

Every dorm in the school was based off of one of the Great Seven. All but for the Ramshackle dorm, a long-forgotten piece of trash that rested on the campus of the school rather than in its own pocket dimension like the others.

Every housewarden embodied the spirit of their designated Great.

Riddle Rosehearts idolized the Queen of Hearts, following every law she had set in her chaotic kingdom, becoming as strict and severe with the enforcement of rules as she was.

Leona Kingscholar was a second-born, raised in the shadow of his older brother and sneered at by his people, and now had to live with the knowledge that he would never be a ruler with the birth of his nephew.

Azul Ashengrotto was an octo-mer, much like the Sea Witch, who specialized in contracts with those who were less fortunate and needed a favor.

Jamil Viper, although not a Housewarden, technically, but some would argue that he deserved to be such, was a consultant for the person in charge- someone he viewed as daft and naive to the ways of the world.

Vil Schoenheit, a man who wanted nothing more than to be considered the "Fairest of All", unable to cope with the fact that there was one who might be better than he.

Idia Shroud, a "loner" by typical standards, was born from a family long cursed, a family seen as Pariahs due to their research and studies.

Malleus Draconia, a descendant of Faes, royalty, with horns that rivaled the Great Thorn Fairy's. Despite longing for human interaction, and simply to be included, he was shunned for his bloodline and odd actions.

But you, Prefect of Ramshackle dorm, had no one to model yourself after.

You were nobody.

Every Housewarden Overblotted, one after another, because they couldn't be the spitting image of the great Seven, because of pressure, because they didn't realize that they were only teenagers who didn't have to be perfect.

Riddle overblotted because he couldn't grasp the concept of being wrong. Leona, because he wouldn't be anything greater than a second-born scum. Azul, because all his work was shredded and he was left with no power to put him above those who bullied him years ago. Jamil, because he had enough of pretending to be someone he wasn't. Vil, because he couldn't admit that he wasn't perfect. Idia, because he wanted freedom. Malleus, because he was tired of himself and the hatred others showed him.

Which only left you.

Nobody.

The nobody who landed in this strange new world, a world in which everyone had magic...except for you. A world were you were less than. A world where you were treated like a burden, despite everyone laying all of their problems on you, demanding you fix them. A world where, no matter how hard you tried, you would always, always be less than.

A nobody.

𓆩⟡𓆪

Then entire campus of NCR shook with your rage and sorrow.

The students both outside and inside stopped, simultaneously looking at whoever was closest to them before running to the source of the wail.

Everyone was silent. What could they do?

It was an overblot, the school's nurse would officially state later, brought on by stress and pushing yourself past the limit. Although you had no magic to push yourself over the edge with, the sheer amount of mental exhaustion you were being put through would work just as well as an exertion of magic, if not more so. In the privacy of their rooms and dorms, assured that no prying ears would overhear them, the students agreed amongst each other that it was more terrifying of a sight than anyone else's overblot they've seen. Yours was one of pure emotion, without any magic to artifically amplify it. Pure and untainted.

And while anyone else who overblotted could only use their magic, you held something far more powerful.

You held the emotions of hundreds of students at NCR. The most top-notch mages and students look to you with a sense of reverence. Whether you knew it or not, you held the strings of the hearts of them all. With one single word, you could cause any of the Housewardens to level entire cities for you, if only to gain your approval. You held the strings of fate for them all, and your pain and suffering was enough to make the same Housewardens, and anybody else who knew you closely- or even in passing- unable to use their magic for weeks after your breakdown.

They just...couldn't seem to use it. It was as if their magic were broken.

When you ran out of breath, finally getting all of your anger out of your system, you inhaled shakily, putting trembling hands on the ground to steady yourself.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was a speckle of blood on the concrete below you, where your screams had caused your throat to crack and shred. You could see people in your peripheral vision, your friends, not one of them moving towards you.

Directly in front of you, looking as if he were about to make a run for it, was none other than Dire Crowley. You could see the sky behind him, dark and grey. Was it that color before?

"I-" You started, your voice cracking, but nonetheless heavy with emotion. You stood up slowly, your knees buckling at first, but eventually letting you stand up to your full height. You stood as tall as you could, your shoulders straight and your eyes focused straight ahead, drilling a hole through Crowley's head. Your face was wet from tears, and more were threatening to spill, but you didn't care about that right now.

"I'm done with you, Crowley," You spat, your voice holding a level of hatred you didn't know was possible. "I'm done working to make up for your shit. I'm done risking my life for you when I'm defenseless, when I'm stuck in this god-damn world because of you!" You held up an accusing finger, taking a step forward to jab it in his chest. He stepped back, but you stepped forward again, keeping the distance between you two even.

"I never wanted to be here, yet you treat me like I'm some sort of burden who showed up at your door- you force me to work, force me to be the therapist for children who need fucking help! How many overblotting students have I saved, huh? How many of those were ones you ran from, ones you refused to help with?! When have you ever been on my side? When have you ever stopped to think not of yourself, but me? What about ME, you worthless piece of shit?!"

You took another shaky breath, wiping the blood gathering on your lips with your free hand.

Crowley let out a small breath as you lowered your finger, and you turned around in a small circle to look at the crowd of students surrounding you. There were your friends, some looking concerned, other terrified. Grim was being held by Ace in a comforting gesture, the cat-like beast shaking. Some of the students had unreadable looks on their faces. Others looked confused.

"I'm done." You hissed, half to yourself, and half to the students. Although it was low enough so only those a few feet away could hear you speak, the word got around quickly enough, and the throng of students began whispering amongst themselves.

You ignored the offers of helps from your friends, and stormed off, back to the Ramshackle dorm, house of Nobody.

Ruled by Nobody.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Note: request by @bubblyabs! thank you so much!! I hope you'll like it!

Warnings: SKMD SPOILERS. fluff/smut 18+, a lot of fourth wall breaking and my infamous attempt at humor.

pairing: SKMD!Sihtric x Modern!You (f)

summary: The fictional man of your dreams was suddely not so fictional anymore.

wordcount: 5,2k

'You looked really hot there.'

There you were again, wrapped in a blanket on your couch, ready to once again finish another binge rewatch of The Last Kingdom. You just couldn't stop yourself. Ever since you became obsessed with the show, you could watch nothing else. No other series appealed to you anymore, and you kept going back to the very first episode, pathetically anticipating the second season, because that's where your favourite character comes in; Sihtric Kjartansson. The man needs no introduction, if we're honest. 

You don't know what exactly it is about him, but you were smitten. Each time he appeared on screen, you needed a glass of water and a cold shower afterwards.

You thought the actor who played him was cute too, you just couldn't really recall his name, you only remembered he had some complicated last name, Federsomething. However, cute or not, nothing was better than the rugged look of that pretty Danish rat boy in that medieval Netflix show. And so, only several weeks since your last rewatch, you were watching the movie again, which was the very last taste of the entire show you would ever get. Until they'll make some lousy remake in 10 years or something, which you would obviouslly not watch because you couldn't stand the thought of all those actors being replaced. Not on your watch.

Anyway, you had cried your absolute eyes out during the movie when you saw it the first time. But more importantly: whoever was responsible for Sihtric's haircut in the movie, was an actual blessing from the lord. Every time you saw his very first scene in that movie, where he walks up to Uhtred, with that long, loose hair, you simply just slide down your couch, being a whole hot mess. The things you would do to get that man in your bed, and the things you would do to him… oh, if only he wasn't fictional. You'd let him rail you, but alas.

And that made you groan each time. The most beautiful and perfect man you had ever seen was freaking fictional! It seems ridiculous, but Sihtric just ticked all your boxes.

He was funny, brave, loyal, adorable, hot, sexy, maybe not the smartest but you had no problem taking care of that man, he was good with weapons, he was protective and a real family man. What else could a you possibly want? You cursed Bernard Cornwell for coming up with the character and whoever casted that actor, as they are clearly responsible for you being forever single. Because you would never settle for anyone who was not Sihtric Kjartansson; fictional character and the goddamn love of your life.

And just like two weeks ago, you finished the movie and switched off your tv, while being a sobbing, snotty mess once again. Your three week holiday had just started, and your initial plan was to stay up late each night, but you had a headache from crying, so you decided to go to bed when it wasn't even close to midnight.

The next morning you woke up early because of some loud banging. You figured the toddlers of your upstairs neighbours were at it again, banging their fists on the wall, running through their apartment. You could hear their little gremlin claws stomp and scratch everywhere they went. But you had to admit, they were louder than usual today, and it actually sounded like they were kicking and stomping at your front door.

You groaned and got dressed for another day of simply doing nothing. You started your coffee machine and opened the door to your little hallway, which led through the front door. You hadn't checked for any mail downstairs in a few days, and it was time to leave your cave for that little adventure to the main hall of your apartment building.

But you would not get there, at least, not any time soon. No. You were about to get the biggest jump scare of your life, to which you would scream so loud, it would without a doubt wake up the entire city. And after that, everything would turn black in front of your eyes.

During your unconscious state you had the weirdest dream. You had opened the door to your hallway and found the cause of that weird banging noise. The noise came from your own apartment. The noise was created by a man, kicking at, and rattling your door, in a pathetic attempt to open it. And it wasn't just any man. 

You recognised him from the back within a split second. It was the fictional man of your dreams, dressed in the red-brownish leather armour he wore when you last saw him on your tv, his hair braided and his face bloody and bewildered. You screamed so loud when you saw him, that someone probably called the cops, because it was a horrible, distressing sound. And it also scared the hell out of Sihtric, who turned to face you while reaching for the hilt of his sword as he stepped closer. But after a second, his expression changed from anger to astonishment, and he stared at you, all confused and wide-eyed. You stared into his mismatched eyes as he was merely two paces away from you. 

'Lady?' he said, with the voice and accent that simply set your body on fire whenever you heard it. 

And you randomly thought how Sihtric looked taller on tv than he did in real life, in your hallway, and then everything just turned black.

And it turned out that it wasn't a dream. But it all had actually happened before you passed out, in your hallway. Sihtric had been quick to catch your fall and caught you in his arms. While still completely confused, and in shock, he had carried you into your living room and carefully laid you down on your couch. And as it would take a good five minutes before you regained consciousness again, Sihtric took a quick look around your apartment, growing more confused and concerned with every passing second.

And you suddenly opened your eyes again as he had his back turned to you.

You blinked rapidly, your eyes trying to focus on the backside of the man in armour, which you recognised all too well. It hadn't been a dream, it all actually happened. And it was still happening apparently. How the fuck was this possible? Did someone prank you? Did someone pay a ridiculous amount of money to hire the actual actor, just to scare the shit out of you and to mess with you? Breaking your heart in the process as you could never be with the man of your dreams? What a sick joke.

While that medieval looking hunk stared at your family pictures, you quietly took your phone from your pocket and opened instagram. Your eyes grew wide when you saw that the actual actor, who you knew played Sihtric in the show, had posted a story just a minute ago, announcing that he was currently in some country, far away from yours, at a comic con.

'No way,' you whispered, 'but then who the fuck-', you looked back at Sihtric again, who had made his way over to your Last Kingdom book collection. 

He stared at it, but as you couldn't see his face, you had no idea what he was doing because you remembered he shouldn't be able to read. You followed his movements with huge eyes, completely in shock, and without realising it, your phone slipped out of your hands and dropped on the floor with a loud thump. You spooked Sihtric, who slightly jumped, and was quick to turn around, again ready to draw his sword.

'Where am I?' he asked, trying to sound calm.

'W-what… uh, England?'

'England?' 

'E-England,' you said again.

'What is the year, lady?'

'2024.'

'What?'

'No, sorry! Sorry, I- I mean 2023!'

Sihtric stared at you, and you thought if he wouldn't blink soon, his eyes would dry out.

'H-how did you get here?' you asked.

'How did you get here?' he asked cautiously.

'I… live here?' you frowned.

'Why?'

You blinked. 'Because… I… pay to live here?'

'Oh,' Sihtric said, then nodded, 'that seems fair. What is that?' he asked, pointing to your tv.

'It's a t- uhh,' you figured that if for some reason this really was Sihtric, the medieval dude from your favourite tv show, he would not know what a tv is, so for the sake of playing it safe, you lied, 'it's a… art.'

'Art?'

'Yes, like a drawing,' you panicked.

Sihtric looked at the tv, then back at you, and said, 'but it's all black?'

'Well, it's… modern… art? It's really expensive,' you said, hoping he would not try to break your tv for whatever reason.

'Expensive?'

'Yes,' you said, 'it's, uh, over a six hundred poun- pieces of silver.'

Sihtric looked back at your tv again, scratched his forehead, and then locked eyes with you again, 'Lady,' he snickered, 'I think someone has fooled you. That drawing is not worth that amount of silver.'

You smiled, simply agreeing, while anticipating his next move.

'Is that,' he squinted his eyes and walked over to your kitchen, 'Uhtred?' he frowned, looking at your coffee cup which had a picture of Uhtred's face on it, 'why?' Sihtric asked as he looked back at you.

'I, uhh…' were you going to tell him they didn't have a cup with his face on it, and that you had sent an angry email to the company? Maybe not. You cleared your throat, but before you could speak, Sihtric's eyes found the large framed poster of him, Finan and Uhtred on your wall. And his eyes grew wide. 

'Where did you get that? Why am I… why are… wh-,' Sihtric stopped talking, then eventually said, 'who made this painting?'

'... Google?' 

'Who is Google?'

'It's, well, so,' you stammered.

'You paid six hundred pieces of silver for this too?'

'Wha- no, more like…seven.'

'Seven hundred?' Sihtric gasped, 'lady,' he smiled, clearly flattered.

'No! I mean like seven pou- bloody pieces of silver!'

'Seven?' he frowned, suddenly offended, 'only seven? Yet you paid six hundred for that?' he pointed at your tv.

'Sihtric, look,' you sighed.

'How do you know my name?' he asked, frightened.

Okay. This had to stop, right now. What the fuck is going on? 

You told Sihtric to shut up, a little harsher than you really meant, but so be it. You took his hands and sat him down on your couch. For some reason he kept holding your hands, which you obviously didn't mind, and you tried to explain how you knew who he was while desperately not trying to get distracted by his appearance. Those tattooed fingers, the tattoo on his neck, and all those scars. He was even more handsome in real life. If this was real life, of course.

'You… you have seen my life?' Sihtric frowned, 'on… the black painting?'

'Yes, it's called a tv. Here, I can show you,' you took the remote, and Sihtric gasped when he suddenly heard noise and saw moving images on the previously black screen.

'Sorcery,' he whispered with big eyes, squeezing your hand.

'No, not sorcery,' you said, remembering how awfully superstitious he was in season 3. And how cute he looked in season 3. Well, he was cute in every season.

'The… the people,' Sihtric suddenly said, 'are they s-stuck?'

'Stuck?'

'Are they stuck in the painting?' he asked, concerned.

'What? No… no, it's… oh god,' you sighed, 'the people are fine,' you smiled.

You quickly switched on Seven Kings Must Die, and you thought Sihtric was going to pass out. He jumped up when he saw Finan and Ingrith, near the beginning of the movie, in Uhtred's hall, your favourite scene, and he ran to the tv.

'Finan!' Sihtric yelled, 'is he stuck?' he looked back at you, worried, 'can he… can he hear me?'

Sihtric turned to the tv again and pressed his fingers against the screen.

'No! Don't touch the screen!' you yelled, worried he'd damage it with his rough fingers, and Sihtric was quick to pull his hand back with a flinch. And you felt horrible for making him flinch, but before you could apologise, Sihtric had composed himself again.

'But… F-Finan?' he asked, 'is he okay? Where is he?'

'Finan is fine! He's not stuck! This all already happened… right?' you grimaced, hoping you were right somehow.

Sihtric looked at you, confused, then back to the screen, and he stumbled backwards when he saw his own face appear on the magic painting. He watched the scene unfold, and he didn't know what to say, he just stared at the screen as he reached for your hand again.

'You looked really hot there,' you blurted out, and you felt yourself blush.

'Hot?' Sihtric frowned, 'I wasn't hot, lady. It was a cold night! Can't you see the furs?' he scoffed.

'No, I mean, you- … no, you're right. It must've been… really cold that day.'

'It was,' Sihtric said sternly, and looked back at the screen again, 'I remember this,' he gasped, 'Finan said he only fell asleep once,' he said, just seconds before Finan said the line on tv.

'See!' Sihtric gasped and looked at you again, 'he actually has fallen asleep many times, lady,' he grinned.

Holy fuck. You didn't even think about that. Sihtric obviously knew everything that had happened, the whole story, not just the bits and pieces you saw from their lives on tv.

'H-has he?' you asked, cautiously.

'Yes, lady,' Sihtric said, 'it often happened because he had too much ale the night before. And because he's old,' he winked with a grin.

'Oh,' you snickered, 'I see. And… you never fell asleep?'

'Me? no, never,' he said with confidence.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, lady.'

You hummed and skipped to the scene where both Finan and Sihtric had fallen asleep, while Uhtred was awake.

'So…' you smiled, pointing at the tv.

Sihtric gasped, 'No, that… see! See, I'm awake. I was merely resting my eyes, I was… in deep thought,' he lied.

'Okay,' you laughed, 'if you say so.'

You watched Sihtric's face, which went from mildly ashamed to a light chuckle, and soon he laughed softly along with you. He still had no idea how it was possible that he could see his own face on your expensive painting, but Sihtric was a simple guy; he saw a pretty lady and he was smitten, not caring about much else anymore, except for winning your heart. He clearly didn't know you were basically ready to marry him on the spot. And for some reason you both just seemed to accept the situation, no questions asked. You watched the rest of the movie together, and it was surreal. Sihtric remembered everything, told you little anecdotes and simply seemed to enjoy seeing his friends on your screen.

'So… did Uhtred die?' you asked when the end credits were shown on screen.

'Uhtred died?!' Sihtric gasped.

'What? No, I mean, I'm asking you!'

'Uhtred was alive when I last saw him!' Sihtric said, and so you found out Sihtric had ended up in your world only hours after that heartbreaking last scene in the movie.

'Okay, then I'm sure he's, uh, fine,' you tried to convince yourself as much as you tried to convince Sihtric. 'Also,' you cleared your throat, 'what happened to your wife and kids?'

'Oh,' he said, 'we had a rough divorce. She broke my heart and took the kids,' he shrugged.

'Oh,' you blinked, surprised, 'I'm… sorry?'

'Are you married?' Sihtric blurted out.

'Uh, me?' you chuckled, twirling your hair, looking the handsome Dane up and down, 'n-no, I'm not. Why?' you kicked your feet.

Sihtric stared at you, he just couldn't believe his luck after being strangely teleported into a different year and world, ending up with a beautiful lady who wasn't married. But then he thought that was odd, because why weren't you married yet? A pretty lady who was clearly rich, at least that's what he thought, who lived in a nice home, was of marriage age, who was also very kind and funny, and with a body which he would undoubtedly be thinking of later that night. Why has no one married you yet, he wondered.

'Are you cursed?' he said without thinking.

'What?'

'Cursed,' he said again, 'you're not married. Why?'

'Uh, well,' you cleared your throat, 'I'm… picky.'

Sure, picky. You were simply in love with the medieval, fictional man on your couch, and you would never settle for anything less. 

'Picky?' Sihtric frowned.

'Yes,' you replied, 'only a certain kind of man could win my heart,' you grinned, mindlessly twirling your hair around your fingers again.

'Oh?' Sihtric raised an eyebrow and smirked, clearly intrigued.

And he thought of it as a game now, a game he desperately wanted to play, because he wanted to know if he could win. And gods, how he wanted to win you and take you back home with him. Or stay here with you, he really didn't care, not after you just batted your eyelashes at him. No, he would do everything for you now.

'So,' he cleared his throat, shifting a little closer next to you on the couch, 'what kind of man would that be?'

'Hm,' you hummed, thinking as if you weren't looking at that specific man, 'a man who is… kind,' you said, 'loyal and brave,' you smiled at him.

Sihtric hummed and licked his lips as he gave you a playful look. He knew he was kind, loyal and brave, so he figured his chances with you were pretty good right now.

'And… someone who is not afraid to take charge,' you teased, seeing if he's willing to take the bait.

Sihtric grinned and slightly adjusted his position.

'He also has to be protective,' you said, 'and strong,' your eyes trailed down to his clothed biceps, knowing very well what's underneath all of that fabric he was wearing.

'Well,' Sihtric smiled, a little cocky, 'I might just be the man for you then.'

'You think so? I'm not sure…,' you played it cool, but inside you were going stark raving mad, this surely had to be a dream.

'I think I am,' he gave you a smirk and winked.

You were absolutely ready to pull that man in your bed, but it was only noon, you had just met him a few hours ago, and everything was just really freaking weird. So you held back. You told him you'd think about it, to which he frowned, playfully offended. You bickered a little and eventually ended up discussing what on earth you two were going to do now. He had nowhere to go, and you didn't want to kick him out, but he was still a stranger. Even though he had lived in your head rent free for years already. You told him first things first; he had to get into different clothes. Which he agreed to. You did some digging and found some sweatpants you had bought online years ago, which turned out way too big for you, and you had forgotten to return it, which came in handy now. Unfortunately, the sweatpants were pastel pink, and Sihtric clenched his jaw, exhaling sharply as he grabbed them out of your hands. You snorted, and to make it worse, the only thing you owned which he would possibly fit in, was a matching sleeveless crop top.

'No,' Sihtric said sternly, looking at the top you held in your hands.

'Guess you're not brave enough for me then,' you taunted.

Sihtric huffed and snatched the shirt out of your hands. You pointed him towards your bathroom, where he stayed for quite a while, simply admiring every foreign object before he even thought of changing clothes. And when he finally walked out, you thought you were going to pass out again.

He had untangled his previously braided hair, wearing it down now, which you loved so much, all while wearing that sleeveless crop top, which barely covered half of his insanely toned upper body. And the matching sweatpants hung on his hips, low enough to reveal he wasn't wearing any underwear, which made sense, as you had no underwear that would possibly fit him. 

He raked his fingers through his hair, exposing even more of his trained torso when he did, and every single filthy thought you ever had about that man crossed your mind at once. You desperately tried to shake your thoughts and took him back into your living room, where you sat down and simply talked. He wanted to know all about you, and even though he didn't understand a lot of the things you mentioned, he knew he was going to marry you. Somehow.

Later you made him dinner and as promised, Sihtric slept on the couch. And you had to fight the desperate urge to find him in the night and lure him into your bed, which Sihtric would have gladly allowed to happen.

A few days passed and Sihtric seemed to adapt decently. He was not as dumb as Uhtred and Finan always made him seem, but he was definitely as clumsy as expected. Knocking over drinks, breaking small objects which he wanted to look at but his hands were too rough, things like that. But you couldn't give a shit, you were madly in love with him, and you couldn't wait for him to break you-... your bed.

Sihtric was very flirty too, and loved brushing his fingers over your face, arms, or well, anywhere he could really, whenever he could. But he was also a true gentleman, and slept on your couch each night, for nearly a week. 

One evening he asked if he could see one of those Last Kingdom episodes you had talked about, and you agreed.

It was still unreal to watch an episode with the one and only Sihtric Kjartansson next to you, and it still felt like a dream. You switched on a random episode, and it happened to be the one where his father, Kjartan, ends up getting killed. At first Sihtric had been watching in awe, amazed that he could relive parts of his life like that.

But when he realised where it was going, his face became more and more deprived of emotions. You noticed it quite late and wanted to switch the tv off once you saw it, just before Kjartan got killed, but Sihtric stopped you by taking your hand in his. And he held your hand tightly as he watched the scene unfold. He showed no emotion, which told you he was more or less at peace with it, but it still was a rough moment to sit through.

When the episode was over, Sihtric looked at you, and you could finally do what you had always wanted to do after seeing Sihtric in that terrible scene; you pulled him in your arms and held him tight.

'Are you okay?' you asked after a moment.

'Yeah,' he said quietly, enjoying the feeling of having his arms around you.

He softly hummed as you brushed your fingers through his long, wavy hair, which was simply another dream come true, and he held you tightly for a long time.

'Can I stay with you?' Sihtric suddenly asked a few evenings later as you had just watched another episode.

'What?' you asked.

'Can I stay here? With you? I mean… I- I like you. I like being here,' he said, 'and, unless we find out how I got here, I have nowhere to go.'

'Y-you want to stay here? With me?' you frowned. 

Sihtric wasn't wrong, he truly had no place to go and you also still had no idea how on earth he had gotten here, which you both quickly stopped questioning as it drove you mad. And naturally you wanted him to stay, but it would be a hard thing to explain to your friends and family, who knew all about your (unhealthy) love for Sihtric, who was, until last week, non-existent in the real world.

'I'd like to stay,' Sihtric smiled sweetly at you, 'with you, lady.'

And you just couldn't resist him anymore. With his long, wavy hair, those mismatched eyes, that smile, and the pink crop top he kept wearing once he realised you liked it on him. He did swap the pastel sweatpants for a black one, after you had bought it for him a few days ago. He was simply the most mesmerising man you had ever seen, and before you knew it, your lips crashed together into a heated kiss. And you tore each other's clothes off as fast as you could. You've been waiting years for this dream to become a reality, and you absolutely would live your fantasy to the fullest right now.

Sihtric seemed just as desperate as you, but before he pulled your panties down, you ran to your bedroom. He was still a medieval man, who knows what he caught in those days and you wanted to limit the risk of catching something as much as you could, and also you did not want a baby, yet, so you grabbed a condom. Sihtric frowned at the package, and you quickly understood he had never seen such a thing. You chuckled a little awkwardly and opened the package.

'It's protection,' you explained, but you didn't want to spook him by talking about STDs, knowing he would probably think it's a curse, so you simply said, 'it's so you don't put a child- I mean, pup in my belly,' you frowned a little as you said the ancient words.

'You do not want my pups?' Sihtric asked, and he almost sounded hurt.

'N… I… well,' you cleared your throat, 'not yet,' you admitted.

Sihtric started to ramble and question you, and you politely asked him to stop talking. You asked if he was okay with everything, to which he then nodded with a smirk, and he allowed you to put the condom on him. And the low hums he let out when you did so, were enough to turn your insides into jelly, and the pressure between your thighs was immense and unbearable. And as you wanted to take your hands off him, he quickly held onto your arm, keeping your hand in place.

'Please,' Sihtric said with big, darkened eyes and a sly smile.

And you understood he seemed to like the feeling of your hand working his length. You had to admit, all those fanfic writers did not lie about his size; you had nothing to complain about here. God, the way you enjoyed having this man on your couch, completely naked, except for the Mjölnir pendant around his neck, with his head thrown back as he smiled while soft moans escaped his slightly parted lips, enjoying the way you made him feel. And it didn't take long before Sihtric came, and the sound of his low groan was pure bliss to your ears, and even more arousing than you already had expected it to be. 

After a short moment, Sihtric was quick to push you up and make you sit back against the couch. He kneeled down in front of you, on the floor, and he carefully spread your legs with a smirk. He threw one leg over his broad shoulder, and before you could grasp that your wildest fantasy was coming true, his face was already buried between your thighs. He nipped your sensitive skin with his lips before he softly kissed your wet folds, followed by running his tongue over your core, making you exhale sharply as your hands found his hair. Your body trembled in no time as he sucked, kissed and licked your clit, as if you were the most delicious thing he had ever tasted in his life. And just like Sihtric, it didn't take long before you came with a desperate moan, pulling his hair to which he groaned.

You both ended up laughing softly as Sihtric sat back next to you, giving you some time to recover, while you both realised how insane this was. But in less than a minute he already took your face in his hands and pulled you closer, wanting to kiss you like there was no tomorrow. And as soon as you felt like you could take him again, you climbed on his lap, to which Sihtric smirked. He watched you with half open eyes as he bit down on his lip. His hands settled on your hips while yours found support by holding onto his muscular shoulders. His body was even more impressive than you imagined, and you cursed Netflix for never giving the audience a shirtless Sihtric scene. 

And then you finally sank down on his cock, you both gasped at the feeling, hands desperately squeezing and scratching each other to display pleasure. And Sihtric was vocal, moaning and cursing with a smile as he enjoyed the way you were riding him, his eyes fixated on you, darting between your eyes, your lips, your breasts and down to your core, loving the view of how you took his length.

'Gods,' he moaned, out of breath, and then he hummed with a light chuckle.

'Fuck,' you muttered under your breath, digging your nails in his shoulders as you tried your hardest to not finish right there and then.

'Hm, I want to fill you up,' Sihtric whispered with ragged breath, and your attempt to not finish before him was to no avail, as his words were enough to make you cry out his name while your walls clenched around his throbbing cock.

'Fuck, sorry,' you said, panting, riding out your own high while feeling a little embarrassed you finished so fast. 

But to your surprise, and pleasure, you felt Sihtric's grip on your hips tighten up and he let out another hard, deep groan as he threw his head back, finishing only moments after you, just as he had hoped he would. You both tried to catch your breath as you embraced each other for a little while. Then you took a shower together and dressed in some comfy clothes. You grabbed a few drinks and some snacks, and made your way into your bedroom, telling Sihtric to come with you. And on your bed, you'd talk and joke around for hours, if you weren't too busy kissing each other or cuddling that is.

'If you had the chance,' you asked, hours later, as Sihtric held you in his arms, 'would you go back home?'

'Only if you'd go back with me,' he said, without any hesitation or doubt, and he squeezed you a little tighter against his chest, 'but if you wish to stay here, then I will stay here, even if I could go back.'

'Why?' you asked, surprised but happy to hear his answer, and you felt a little emotional all of the sudden.

'Because,' Sihtric smiled, moving up a little to look into your eyes, 'because I like you,' he lovingly brushed his fingers over your cheek, 'I have lived my life there, back home,' he said, 'there's not much there for me anymore. I would rather stay here and have you, have someone to take care of and to provide for, then going back without you and just… feel alone again at night.'

'I love you,' you suddenly blurted out.

Sihtric's jaw dropped slightly as he looked at you with big eyes, and then he smiled softly, 'I love you too,' he said, 'and I just want to be wherever you are.'

'Sihtric,' you whispered, cupping his cheeks as you stared into the warrior's vulnerable eyes, 'I will simply follow you anywhere you decide to go.'

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @bel-bottoms @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305

[everythingwasnormalhere]

i don't really wanna do much today so...

what about an analysis of I've Got You, Brother because i wanna rant about it >:3

(i've been thinking about all this a lot since I wrote it lol)

huge spoilers under the cut so please i beg you don't read it till you've finished the fic ;w;

probably the first scene of this fic i thought while knowing i wanted it to appear in it, was the scene after lucas' funeral. a while before that i already had the headcanon of kevin giving kenny that red scarf of his, but that scene, unlike this one, wasn't fully developed when i daydreamed it.

my kenny, slv kenny, has a lot of trauma as a kid, trauma that shapes his personality later on. yet, he's learned he needs to suck it up, not tell anyone - mainly because his uncle taught him so. lucas was gay indeed, stuart got that one right at least, but after he did what he did to kevin, he decided it was too dangerous. kevin would snitch, surely, he was old enough to know it was wrong, he had proven this. kenny was not.

"never tell anyone about this", he had promised, and so kenny never really specified it - loyalty, fear, who knew. but he couldn't help but take kevin's word that lucas was gone, and maybe that's why he slipped. kevin never asked any more questions, kenny never gave him any more answers.

(Brother by Kodaline - the song this fic took its title from - just started playing, and that is incredibly fitting XD)

"“You look like shit” Kenny pointed out. “You should see the other guy” Kevin smiled, sitting next to Kenny."

a fun fact about this scene, is that i thought of it before anything else in this fanfic, yet with a different theme. i was feeling pretty dysphoric, my parents were being transphobic assholes, nothing new, and i said "why not project this onto kenny?". in the original scenario, kenny would come out to his father, or maybe he'd be outed by some reason, and stuart would be no good about it, so kevin would jump in and defend his brother. then, everything would turn out as it does in the fic.

but slv kenny's agab is left ambiguous, and it will stay that way, which makes the original idea lose all its sense. yet, as i wanted to write it and add it to the story, i figured out another thing the fight could've stemmed from, and rolled with it. it being kenny's birthday was just something that came to me as i wrote, but it makes a sensing way for him to receive his parka so all good XD

next scene is probably the closest these two ever went to talking about their feelings. "He wanted me to go with his friends, he didn't want to hang out with me." was a typical occurence by the time they were twelve/thirteen, which is when that happens. kenny had gone to that type of hang outs a few times already, and always felt as if he wasn't welcome there, his presence and his exit equally unnoticed. butters had always the best intention, but are good intentions ever enough? the spot at the rooftop became kenny's favorite place since that night.

kevin isn't too talkative, or at least not slv kevin, but he knows his brother all too well, as shown in the next scene.

i needed it to be from kenny's pov, even if just to show the shock at "Kevin had never hit him sober." - because kevin had hit him drunk, not even just that, but typically kevin was at least a bit tipsy. him being violent yet sober showed the importance of the situation - and also showed how easily kenny would accept kevin becoming stuart 2.0.

it was short before butters ran away from home, and kenny was going through possibly the worst moments of his life till then. it was also the time in which he would kill himself every other day, trying to find a way that stuck. the broship had broken, kenny's home life was as shitty as always, what was the point? "But- Kenny, I can't let you waste your life like that. I'm probably gonna become a poor drunk guy like mom and dad, but you're smart dude. You have a future. Don't throw it away". those words likely saved kenny's life. kevin knows him, but he's too quiet to show it. yet, when he sees his brother in that state? he can't help but try and pull him out of it.

"This was the first time Kevin had seen his brother in weeks" says a lot about the mccormicks, actually. kenny, spending his days out with his friends or stuck in his room. kevin, not coming home until he has to. they had lost each other, grown up enough to stop needing the other as much. yet, kevin's always up to helping kenny out.

their conversation on the couch, just proves how much they really love each other. kenny doesn't really cuddle with anyone besides butters and his siblings, and kevin isn't much of the type to be physically affectionate with pretty much anyone. yet they enjoy being in each other's company, and they trust each other enough for it. "“Fucked him yet?” Kevin half joked." also shows how much kevin really knows his brother - even after they're not that in touch, he's noticed how close butters and kenny really are. he's also proving to kenny how he will not judge, allowing him to open up if he ever wants to, without fearing a reaction like the one their parents would likely have.

("“I love you”, is what Kevin would've said were he more vocal about his feelings. But he wasn't, so he took a sip of his beer and turned up the volume.". fun fact, they never said they love each other, and now you're forced to live with this information :3)

"“Showed up when I died, haven't left ever since” Kenny nonchalantly said, and Kevin shrugged it off". I don't have much to say about this scene, but fuck me if kenny isn't like this. he's sincere with kevin, yet aware he won't be believed, so he doesn't really press it. kevin, meanwhile, is used to his brother saying stuff like that. if kenny had ever told kevin about his curse? i like to believe kevin wouldn't have hesitated to believe everything about it.

aaand we're at the final arc of igyb!!

(after i took a tiny doomscrolling break bc fingers hurt smh)

i think i should first talk about why i did what i did. and that is, killing kevin off.

you see, in most stories and universes where kevin dies, he does it heroically. saving his siblings from their parents' wrath, getting in the way of a gunshot, taking part in a fight - he dies a hero. that's not how real life works. people just... die. without a warning. without a reason. one day they're there, the next they're gone forever.

kenny thought he understood death, mostly after having died so often, but he didn't. kevin's death, it made him realize people just leave forever, not giving any warning, not saying goodbye. human life is such a fragile thing, and he won't waste his stuck in the shithole of a town south park is. he's terrified of losing his friends the way he lost kevin, he's terrified of permanently dying with nobody to remember him.

he was lucky laura offered to take karen in, because otherwise, he probably would have stayed. but he knows, she'd be kept safe, and most importantly, away from their parents.

and, kenny?

he is going to live.

[achoshistor]

final fantasy 7

spoilers for everything idk (ff7, remake&dlc, crisis core but only till like chapter four because thats how far i made it)

bro ive been tweaking out for like three months now. i bought the ff7 remake bc it was 50% off a few months ago and I was like I'm never gonna find a deal like this ever again (only for it to go on 50% again lmfao) but ok whatever it was literally 35 for the game and the dlc which is one million times cheaper than what splatoon 2 and octo expansion were and its ok because i can never own it physical anyways but bro I didn't even want to buy this game in the first place i was gonna buy ffxv cause i saw a clip of notcis or whatever that guys name is putting his lettuce on a nother guy's plate and i was like "wtf is final fantasy even about" SPOILER ALERT: TERRORISM like ????

i feel like i can never every play another game after finishing the remake and the intermission i bought crisis core reunion and theres literally LESS fighting in that game so far but it was also cheaper and i got it physical (after scouring ebay for two months to find a us edition because i dont want to even risk seeing things spelled in the british way because last time when that happened when I played great ace attorney 1&2 i couldn't stop spelling things in british every time i'd write an essay and then i couldnt tell what was wrong "its just an extra letter" no bro its messing up my diction) but anyways please just let me beat things up with a sword i wish people still used swords to fight then the fights would be more fair and the world would be a better place. but man sephiroth is lowkey a nice guy and the crashout was 100% valid not the killing people part but i would also crash out if i found out my mom was actually some 2000 year thingy they found in the ground. today i saw some snowflakes fall (they were the big ones) and freaked out for a second because i thought they were white feathers (I NEED TO GO OUTSIDE)

i also "finished" (AKA gave up right before the final boss) the original ff7 because i didnt want to deal with spoilers cause the main plot points should be the same anyways but i don't have enough patience to play retro games (the last one i finished was kirby super star three years ago) and they are like ten times harder than modern games too like i think i only got 10 game overs max in the remake but like one hundred million in the original and i was like at this point i dont even care anymore like we just need to beat sephiroth right? speaking of i really did think we just had to beat sephiroth and that he was just evil for the love of the game because all i knew was from that smash bros trailer but really everything is hojos and lowkey lucrecia's fault bc theyre bums like are you jealous of vincent or something how do you get a girl who's literally just broken up with this guy pregnant like no time bro literal bum activity im glad vincent was able to beat up hojo at the end. he was also my strongest party member (and had the hardest spell post out of all of them).

i was lowkey tweaking when i saw genesis cause i thought something seemed awfully familiar lo and behold hes just evil gackt. i saw a picture of some genshin character's sword and i was like holy sigma is that genesis rhaspodos but nope it was some genshin twink this is off topic but i HATE how like half of the characters in genshin look like children/teenagers and the other half are either whitewashed (brighter than printer paper) or have the most awful color scheme like unpleasant gradient just showed up to your door. i kept thinking angeal was named angelo because ive only ever met people named angelo and not angeal but so far his story seems too similar to sonons. zack = onika angeal = burgers OH his name is angeal like angel LMFAo

I barely edit my tumblr posts for coherence sorry if youre not one of my like 4 followers but anyways episode intermission gave me a genuine crash out. I was like "who is yuffie" but then i found out. yuffie is my goat. i hate fort condor and i still hate fort condor but i didnt know there was a literal fort with a condor on it. i was out of it bro i have nobody here that may hear this and i will be ashamed i genuinely couldnt pay attention to the game cuz of sonon hes so fine bro too bad he DIED bro i even felt bad for nero cause they forcefully made him shut up with that muzzle thing but as per usual he was a bum but theres no second part to the dlc (yet) 40 dollar 32 gb ram stick please find me (my computer will blow up) before rebirth comes out (my computer will blow up regardless) like watch the requirements be some esoteric classified government only processor like the ryzen 56 or intel i5412 like u gotta play it on one of those government super computers so the game doesnt lag the minute you start walking.

ok im done ive exhausted myself thank u for coming to my ted talk see u later my little minions

[demise-seems-dead]

@askingkyborg 's main here to bring you some depressing chip mini fic time because im dying

SPOILERS FOR EPISODES 32-34 AND TW FOR suicidal ideation, self harm, and some mentions of blood.

chip in todays ep was so insane for me i just i couldn't resist.

Mathidle hasn't felt a lot of warmth in their after life, and that's alright. The thing about ghosts is that they feel in opposition to a human. When you're alive, you get a spring to your step. You feel the kisses of the sun bead down over your eyelashes. The wind stirs hunger in your stomach and you fight against it in a little human battle. Your hands get warm when you work for too long, calluses thrumming with your pulse and very very warm. Mathilde knows this to be true.

They don't remember holding a lot of hands, but they remember the feeling, maybe due to its stark contrast to know. When a person is very alive, their hands get warm, and when they are dead and gone, their hands grow cold. And thus for ghosts it works the opposite. When alive hands are as cold as frosty knives but when on the brink of death their hands would be ever so warm. 

Ellgas hands were moderately warm. Not technically undead but having lived multiple life spans she grew warm. With Barney it was impossible to tell. Sometimes his hands felt hot, other times too cold. Hard to discern. By way of logic Chips hands are the coldest of course. Being the youngest of the party somehow, and pretty physically adept, he was the most alive of them all, and thus the coldest. Mathilde can't touch the tieflings hands without a shiver climbing up his non corporeal body. 

That's what made today so different. Chip’s are blazing warm. 

They’d been giving blood to the vanian worker in exchange for currency. Mathilde put themselves close to the brink of death, but for good reason. There is a ghost after all, dying again would be a stunt and a half. Their body has started to float, and their items are starting to slowly fade through their body as he inches closer to full spirit than not. It's not as if they enjoy it, but the familiar tickle isn't a bad thing. 

From beside them a sharp gasp comes from Barney's throat. A head turn shows chip loading up his crossbow, using the cocking stirrup and his foot to slide the bolt back with ease. Its a weird action for someone who had initially seemed hesitant to donate any blood at all. Mathilde raises an eyebrow just as the purple tiefling points the crossbow down at his foot and shoots. A shot of blood stains the white of his shoe and he noticeably grimaces. JJ mews from beside mathilde, circling where his feet are dangling. Mathilde knows kittens know when people are close to passing on, and especially a ghost cat. Mathilde bends a bit to scratch her tiny little grey head to let her know they're okay. It's weird knowing you're close to dying, but as a ghost it doesn't hurt, so it's a bit easier. Another crossbow bolt is shot, and JJ’s ears flatten down a little. 

Mathilde looks back up towards chip. A fuzzy outline is starting to show on him, blue and purple swirly. His face is tight and screwed up, nose pressed into grooves and eyes watering. They can hear a crack of barney's voice, like he's about to say something but pauses. The old man's brow furrows. The teller behind the counter starts counting out money softly, and chip moves in a quick motion. Mathilde momentarily thinks he's putting it away, but after a moment it's drawn, but up by his head. 

“Mon ami, maybe be a little bit more careful w-” Mathilde doesn't finish their thought before the bolt is wedged in chip's neck. It drips a long red string, and mathilde can see ellga lick her lips ever so slightly, but does not ignore the slight worry in her brows. 

Mathilde knows Chip can't take many more shots. Three if he was lucky. Yet it doesn't stop him from moving again. Mathilde closes their eyes as he hears the loading noise, and with the shot the blurry ghost-like outline grows stronger, the purple colour bloombing out more. Another shot. That makes five. He can only take one more. JJ is meowing at the tiefling, who's struggling to stand, blood dripping out of his mouth and leaned over the counter. The clerk seems unphased. 

Mathilde closes their eyes again, and sees a new colour. A soft green pushing the blue and the purple away in the dark. Instinctually, as the light brightens, mathilde opens their eyes. Chip is shuttering audibly, eyes lazing open and shut as he braces.

“Carols gone, what else is there to lose…?” JJ bats at chip’s leg, as if in an effort to stop him. Mathildes face stiffens  at the assassin's comment, and they gently wrap an arm around chip, protectively surrounding him with his wings. 

“Alright, I think that's enough. We’ve got plenty of spending money, right chip?” “...Spendin’ money… r-right, right yeah! Were, were rich!” The brunette moves to pick up his currency and his fingers fumble uselessly, eyes lidded slightly. Mathilde makes their hands noncorporeal and gently scoots the coins to his hands without him noticing, not to make him feel coddled. The alchemist shoots a look over his shoulder at mathilde, and mathilde nods back. The mood remains a bit darker and dreary, but chip seems somewhat stable. Mathilde takes his hand gently. The tieflings hands are warm as can be, and it makes a flood of warmth come over mathilde themselves. 

Weirdly, if just for a moment, he feels a second hand reach over theirs. They close their eyes and see a ghostly outline of a tiefling woman, her hand over yours and chips. She presses a finger to her lips and gives a soft but saddened smile. She mouths to them gently.

“Don't let him down this path, mathilde…” A ghostly wiz-consinite voice whispers in their head. He opens his eyes again to see chip leaning down, smiling at a photo in his hand. Mathilde smiles softly.

“I'm glad she's watching over you, my friend.” they say even though the rogue will likely forget his words from the blood loss. He nods and smiles a bit more. 

“‘M glad too, mathilde…” 

[bcbdrums]

Mad Angry, Mad Crazy

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

LOL @legendary-guest is that you?? You usually ask off anon though, haha.

(Ask is from this lovely list.)

Okay, so... Only one person knows about this I think but there was in fact...a darker version of this fic. (Some spoilers ahead if you've not read that fic yet, so maybe stop here if you don't want any. It's a dark fic, FYI.)

The majority of changes began in the chapter where Drakken finds Shego on the beach. Originally she's much more paranoid, much more frightened, and far weaker, physically. The fainting situation is more dire... And the hospital visit is FAR more dire. Drakken isn't present as much for the exam/questioning, and Shego is far more dissociated from reality... Unable to process and answer some of the questions due to her own paranoid and fearful thoughts demanding her full attention. It was much more strongly implied that the examining doctor suspected Drakken of various abuses against her. Drakken's part in the exam was different as a result, the questions being more blunt and the doctor more angry, when he was later present. It seemed pretty clear by the end of that scene that Shego was mentally unfit to make decisions for herself. That chapter was going to end with her practically being coerced into admitting herself to a psych ward. Which then would have set off another dozen chapters that were only partially planned in my head, but never written. Oh, and the water rescue scene before the time-skip was darker as well, with Drakken being less obviously there to help her and Shego being far more afraid of him/his actions, to the point of almost not accepting rescue; I kept his motivations and his thoughts far more obscure in that scene.

Why did I soften the entire thing and not go the darker route? A friend/beta advised me that it was too dark, and that the entire story felt anti-shippy. And in fact it was this very fic that caused that person to stop reading fics other than their own, except for rare exceptions.

Heh, and the published fic as it is today apparently is still so dark it caused people to form a chat "support group" to deal with how severely the fic impacted them, and nearly every person in that group couldn't even finish reading it, it was that bad. I'm glad the story has a couple of strong fans to reassure me of its worth.

No, the darker version doesn't exist anymore. Rather than save it as a separate file I just deleted and rewrote to severely soften the whole thing from the water rescue onward. And I do mean severely...

I have regrets... I wish I'd saved the darker version. It was the best version of psychosis I've ever written and I wish I had it to study now, for other projects. I don't regret how the story ended; it would have always ended there, even if it had gone through another dozen chapters of anguish on both characters' parts... The journey to get to the end just would have been a lot different and more arduous. And I do regret that this story caused someone to stop reading fanfic.

But I'll never regret what I published. I love writing angst, I love writing suspense. I love writing for that episode because it's what got me thinking about shipping Drakken and Shego in the first place, and I love the finished product.

Thank you truly, anon, for this ask.

[welcome-to-the-end-of-eras]

Live Reading: The Mars House by Natasha Pulley

Some initial (spoiler-free) observations for now:

1.) desperately missing the style of publication from twofs and tbs, book covers that come off are my biggest opp

2.) Edward Cullen lookin ass cover I kinda love it

3.) absolutely love the fact that The Bedlam Stacks is officially part of the Watchmaker series even though Mori is in like 3 scenes, he’s so powerful

Off the bat, it's really interesting to see the way January interacts with what is our present like it's something ancient. The way he describes the "ruins" of London and various places around that people today may even live in, as if it's centuries old. Idk what year this takes place in but I feel like it's going to be like 2030 or some shit lmao

I already read the leaked chapter so I'm just going to skip it, all in all though I like January so far. He's a little less...I don't want to say compelling, but he doesn't have as much of a distinctive personality off the bat as Valery or even Flint, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Plus he's like. Actively in crisis, so I'm going to give him a pass

He does have the gen Z tendency for nihilism tho, moreso than the other mc's, and I really like it

Oh wait no he's not even gen Z he's like. Gen Theta??? This is farther into the future than I thought, which is good bc it was a lil depressing to think it was this close to the present and everything was flooded (I mean we're still boned but I was expecting the time period to be like. A very likely 2027 or something.)

I honestly really like the way January isn't content with the small things in his life that make him miserable like the other mc's. He's a Complainer. He's literally me-

"It was fine as icing sugar." ??? Girl are we getting some freaky future ghost shit again??? Please???

I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T-

MORI AND DAUGHTER??? I'M GOING TO PASS AWAY-

I will be crying about this forever

Six taking over the shop but keeping her dad's name attatched...BEING CANON??? We STAY winning

"There are moments when you come so close to another future you can taste the air in the courtroom." GIRL SHUT THE FUCK UP RESPECTFULLY I'M ABOUT TO START SCREAMING-

Wait these exoskeleton things sound cool as fuck, I wonder how hard it would be to make one for cosplay purposes??? Probably pretty tricky (and knowing myself I would never finish it) but it still seems really fun to make

Damn he's really scared of not wearing that thing, my poor baby :((( ugh I really do like him a lot so far

Ohhh wait I thought wearing the suit was to protect him, not to protect others??? I misread

But he's still really that scared of hurting anyone else :((( he's my baby I've decided

I feel like I'm not going to like Gale much off the bat bc they're going to be rude to him, but I'm sure I'll grow to like them more. I mean I didn't much care for Shenkov off the bat but I adore him now so

Not to get Prentious-English-Major-y, but it seems like a running theme in this book is getting over the shame of taking up space in the world. January is constantly being reminded that he needs to stay in his place and not cause trouble for others, and it's so engrained into him that he can't help but panic over a simple mistake that could've been corrected with a gentle warning. But it also wasn't a gentle warning; the guy in the elevator fucking yelled at him!!! Immediately!!! I get the notion that it was a matter of safety for him, but January was far away from and couldn't have possibly hurt him, and he still yelled. Coming from the lense of a queer man, it's very reflective of the homophobic idea that queer people can't even be trusted in public because they're "sexual deviants" and the like, or even going back to the 80s when people thought that AIDS was transmitted through just skin-to-skin contact. Idk. Food for thought.

Honestly??? The way his thoughts keep circling back to the way everyone was horrified of him on the elevator is the most accurate way I've ever seen someone describe anxiety attacks

What tf is up with the pink elephants??? New tattoo idea just dropped???

Ooo interesting monetary system for the trains. I went into Boston to get my copy and they started doing a similar thing on the green line (the only train system that runs above ground, so they can't really stop people from not paying to get on) and it kind of reminds me of that. It's definitely not that similar, but it's enough that I made the connection

Creepy Government Programs Meant To Completely Cripple Minorities Just So They Can Access Slightly Worse Basic Rights They Should Already Have...totally not realistic...haha...not at all...

Only a year??? January...buddy...you've been here for 600 days...

Oh wait no I just looked it up, a year on Mars is actually about 687 days, nvm, fuck me I guess

The whole conundrum of naturalizing vs just using the cage is vvv interesting, and is also reminiscent of the way disabled people are encouraged by society (and warned by medical professionals) to undergo drastic surgeries to cure their disability

Damn so going on the train cost him a half hour of work??? That's kinda nuts. Although if it's a longer distance train it's not as bad, but it seems like it just went from one part of the city to the other

Oh??? Hello??? He has a crush on his boss??? Honestly she sounds like a milf I don't blame him-

I feel like the release button of his suit being over his heart is going to be important and dramatic and it's going to make me cry

Idk how to word this properly but like. January being motivated to eat more and train for ballet again bc he's just overall happier with Gale may just (happily) destroy me, the same way tlfop describes Thaniel getting a lot stronger over the course of four years bc he's eating more and started boxing and that, but I feel like it'll be different bc him being married to Gale will offer him the privilege to do that kind of thing while others aren't awarded the freedom

The group physical therapy before work is kinda nuts, we should honestly do that at my job too

Honestly the way they're describing these work suits is kind of a serve, especially with the cool skeleton lookin thing around it, that would make such a fun cosplay

Senator Gale in the mix too!!! Vvv excited, even though I know January is going to do some fuckshit on tv with them

I KNOW January is pretty af I know it in my soul

"Great power to be had from ogling." I'm love Val sm-

Love that she included how to pronounce Mx bc it always throws me for a loop. Also...McWang??? Girl-

I really do not know what I expected from the woman who managed to get the word "octopussy" in three of her books

"...so that he wouldn't think about how much he would have loved to see someone shove Audrey bloody Gale off a cooling tower." DAWG-

He really fuckin hates them wow, their public persona must suck

Oh also random thought I forgot to include a bit earlier, but is it like. Genuinely illegal to assume people's gender in this society??? That's kinda based actually. Fox News would have a field day. "ThIs Is CoNfIrMaTiOn Of ThE fUtUrE tHeSe LiBeRaLs ArE lOoKiNg FoR." Ugh I hope someone shows them, that would be fucking hilarious (obviously no one should tho bc I sincerely believe there are some idiotic people who would start sending Natasha death threats over it and I don't want that).

"...and do everyone a favour by turning immediately into goo." Jesus fucking Christ dude-

I hope January beats the shit out of some of these people I really do-

Hehe puffweens

Ooo the Mars citizens fashion seems fun

"Thirteen year olds were, of course, terrifying monsters..." thirteen year olds are extremely lame when you get to know them but I do get the anxiety (I say as someone who worked with them for over 5 years)

He doesn't want to scare anyone :(((

First he's comparing Gale to the devil, and now he's saying they look like a god??? Make up your mind dude

"He followed the news like a bloodhound when it came to Gale." My good bitch you are so definitely into them-

The fact that Val has to bribe January with chocolate to not throw a brick at Gale is so...I'm love them so much

[thatfangirlofsb]

A/N: Hi, I'm back with another grishaverse fanfic. This time it will be about the zoyalai.

This one will be longer than the last one, so be prepared.

T/W: Spoilers of Rule of wolves.

"Zoya decides to fix the wedding that Nikolai and the shu decided to botch, but will she be able to do it without breaking down?"

Moya tsaritsa (I)

"And now I find it out?" The fury could be heard clearly in her voice even at the other end of the table, where Nikolai was happy to be separated from her thanks to all the people who were sitting around the long piece of wood.

Nikolai couldn't have been happier when everything went according to plan, but all that happiness crashed down when a very angry Zoya walked into the meeting room with her fists clenched.

"Over my age-wrinkled corpse, Nikolai." She said placing her palms on the table with such force that the wood trembled slightly at her touch. "And I remind you that the grisha live longer and take us a while to get old."

She was tempted to throw a blast of air at him that would put him against the wall and knock him unconscious for a few minutes, but she quickly forgot that idea. She was going to keep yelling at him, but when she felt the air gathering around her she turned and got out of there toward her room. Thanks Nikolai, today I won't be able to rest after the trip because of all the work I have to do, she thought before occupying her mind with solutions to the big problem that a certain blond had caused.

—————

"Was there a tornado or just an angry squaller?" Nikolai asked entering Zoya's room and closing the door when both of his feet had already crossed the threshold.

"Was there a stupid king or was it just you on your good days?" Zoya said, picking up all the papers that had been scattered on the cold floor after her blow of fury every time she began to write the apology letters.

She was angry, very angry. So as soon as the door of her room closed behind her, she unleashed her power without control between those four walls, causing all her order to disappear.

All because of that stupid boy with the lopsided smile that often made her want punch it away. But later, when she remembered who he was and what could happen to her, her thoughts became only dreams. Dreams that she prayed she had instead of all the nightmares that tormented her at night.

"Are you here to seek your death or just to work to fix it?" The grisha lifted and leaned against her desk, folding her arms as her cold gaze settled on the king. "I can make it look like an accident, so don't provoke me."

"I missed you… the whole palace missed you." His voice trembled slightly and he looked down at the ground trying to avoid his gaze. "I was wondering if..."

"If I want to blow you out of my room? Yes." She answered drily, looking over the papers she had already picked and placed on the desk for later ordering. "I'll tell you two things Nikolai. First, this wedding is going to happen and I don't care that you've had a fever and your brain has switched into some selfish version of itself. And second, you're not fleeing this room until the last letter signed by your handwriting is finished."

"Understood."

It was going to be a very long day, extremely long.

—————

"Congratulations Zoya, thanks to you now my hand will fall off."

The last letter had already been enveloped and placed on the pile to Nikolai's right. His hand was certainly tired, but not to the point of falling. Despite Zoya's words, she had also written several letters. Probably more than him, because her pile was taller than the opponent's one. But she wasn't going to complain, they were doing all of this for Ravka.

"If you hadn't messed up the wedding this wouldn't be happening." A sigh escaped her lips, and Nikolai couldn't help but notice as his gaze landed on them. "Why Nikolai?"

The blond was so engrossed looking at her that it took him a while to react. He could blame exhaustion out loud, but he actually knew that the principal point of all the trouble he had caused was a certain general standing by his side; too close.

"Can't a king mess things up?" He asked as he stood up and stretched his limbs. Most of the candles had blown out on their own, and the room was lit only by the moon and a few candles that were about to follow the same path as the others.

"Yes, but not you." Zoya turned on her own chair to look at his face, feeling her heart clench as she saw his face lighted from the side by the moon. No, she couldn't think that. Only Ravka had to be in her mind. "We both know that what you've done is bad for Ravka, and you never do anything bad for your kingdom no matter the outcome. Why?"

Why? I don't know either, but I know it has to do with you. With your beautiful blue eyes, your long black hair, your bravery, your devotion to Ravka, your mask to hide what you really feel... You, you are the culprit, Nikolai thought before shaking his head from side to side. He couldn't, he couldn't say that. Not now.

"Are you so tired that you are speechless?" Zoya's cold voice brought him back to reality, to a reality where he had to think of an answer as fast as his brain could. "Nikolai, say it or I'll have to force it out of you."

"I just was thinking." It was true, but he didn't want to tell her in what. "Zoya... have you ever wondered what you would do if you weren't you?"

"If I wasn't me?" Nikolai's question surprised her. What would do if she wasn't her? What was he talking about? Not being a grisha, not being the general of the second army, not being part of that friendship between the two of them... He could refer to so many things with those words. "I would be a very famous thief, and I would have already stolen your crown and your Lantsov emerald. I would rule Ravka with an iron fist and use you as a footrest."

Small smiles appeared on the faces of them, it seemed that Zoya's anger had largely disappeared.

"I would be honored to hold your beautiful feets, moya tsaritsa." He told her making a little bow, very dramatic for Zoya's liking.

"I could get used to that." She stretched out slightly her legs, looking at him teasingly and then crossing them over each other again.

"To what? To be queen?" He crossed his arms with his typical smirk, pulling his chair closer to her and sitting on it. "I can fix it if that's your wish."

"Are you sure? You know of any son of the queen of Shu Han who is planning to kill their entire family so he could become king?"

"Shu Han? Why?" His lips curved down, trying to appear devastated by her teasing. He hoped that her words were just that, a simple joke.

"I've had enough of the Ravkans. They are…not tolerable." Her gaze settled on him, and a slight smile with which she showed her teeths made Nikolai feel like his skin melted with that look; his heart had already succumbed long ago.

"I hope I don't have to take that accusation personally." He got up again and turned around, approaching the map that was hung on the wall. He bordered with his fingers the ravkan frontier that adjoined the shu, soon he would have to see how that country returned to bring a princess to Ravka. "I would be at sea, but then I would settle somewhere far away from the coast." He watched Zoya's smile give way to doubt, so he decided to speak. "I know you're not interested, but you could have at least asked. It's called manners."

"It wasn't that." The grisha's hands groped for the glass that rested empty next to her, only a slight aroma remained of the brandy that had been in it before. "It amazes me that you, the great Sturmhond, decide at some point in your life to settle. And far away from your beloved sea, no less. Do you have fever?"

He don't have it. But if the desire to leave everything just to be with the person he loved could be called that... yes, he has it.

"The wedding may have made me sick." He laughed as he observed Zoya's incredulous look, it was funny to see how she got annoyed with him but at the same time tried to contain herself. Playing with the death was one of his favorite hobbies.

"What wedding Nikolai? The one that did you dream about?" Her arms crossed and she blew out a small sigh before picking up the kefta from the back of her seat and got up to put it away in her closet.

"Genya and David's one." He said following her with his eyes without missing any of her movements. "It was beautiful, I would say one of the best weddings I have ever seen."

The two were silent for a long time. Although they had started with jokes and little games, remember what had happened that fatal day brought them back to reality. They stopped being Sturmhond and a queen with a human footrest and became Nikolai Lantsov and Zoya Nazyalensky again.

"Come on, it's time." She said quickly trying to change the subject so she wouldn't break down. Zoya walked briskly towards her bedroom door and placed her hand on the knob. "I have to chain a king."

"You don't know how long I was waiting for hear that."

—————

You can read the second part here.

You can read the third part here.

You can read the fourth part here.

You can read the fifth part here.

[sobredunia]

i come bearing another tale from identity v history. this is something that happened while i was taking a break from the game, so i wasn't aware of it until later, but it's still legendary.

uhhh warning for possible spoilers for the promised neverland???? i don't go into plot details or anything bc honestly i haven't read this far yet but it does involve characters who aren't present at the start of the series so yeah.

so identity v announces a crossover with the promised neverland. the crossover is... relatively successful, with some nice skins, fun events both in-game and on social media, and generally it just goes over well. fans of tpn are happy, though some of the choices for who gets what costume were a little baffling (though that may just be me lmao).

later that year, news breaks of a second part to the crossover. it's based on the sorta second part of the manga, with characters introduced later getting skins (while skins from the first part of the crossover also return). the skins are all revealed, and it turns out we're getting skins of the characters sonju, zazie, mujika, and peter ratri.

sonju, zazie, and mujika look... fine!! in fact, i'd say they even look good!! it's clear the designers paid a lot of attention to details and they're honestly among my favourite crossover skins. faithful, pretty, fitting for the original characters' models, basically what a crossover skin should be.

so, what about peter?? surely he, too, got a good, faithful costume, right??

well...

this was his poster.

now this was. an unpleasant reveal. why is he making that face?? he looked... goofy. why?? what happened?? how did whoever was doing the art for this manage to make such good art for the rest of these skins for both the first and second parts of the crossover and then drop the ball on a skin for a character who was likely meant to look attractive / pretty??

a lot of people were disappointed, but we hoped he would maybe look better in-game. after all, we've been deceived by art before; hopefully this would be one of those times.

well, uh... he looked like this.

yeah. possibly worse than the poster.

he became the fucking laughingstock of the fandom overnight. no, that's literally what he's referred to on his wiki page. the laughingstock of the fandom. everyone was clowning on this man. and the memes never really went away, if the fact that now, two and a half years later, someone fucking changed the official idv discord server's picture to the mascot of the game with his face superimposed onto her. he came out in late 2021 and we are still making fun of him.

there was never any change to his model as far as i know. they just dropped him and left. idk if they expected us to eat it up anyway, if they were just too ashamed to really ever touch him again, or if they thought he couldn't be fixed so they just abandoned him. dropped him and let us rip him to shreds.

this is the only tpn skin i have never seen in-game. i've encountered every other skin, i even have emma. but i have never seen anyone, not in competitive play, not on streams, not in my own gameplay, use the peter ratri skin. he exists only for us to bully.

that's it for your idv history lesson for today. i'll finish this off with some of my favourite comments on his wiki page, because just scrolling through them is actually really fun lmao

I'M CRYING THIS IS SO FUNNY HELP??? UGLY RAT BASTARD MAN MOCKED BY EVERYONE EVER

Also why do the other skins have six fingers I'm???

[tvrningout-a]

ISSA MEME FROM A WHOLE BLOG AGO | @sozokami gets an old meme response!

i think the prompt was something like " your muse wipes my muse's tears. " i happened to think about this response today and went searching for it in the drafts of my old blog! at the time i started writing it, it got so long to the point that i had no idea how to end it, so i saved it for later... and then i went on hiatus and moved blogs asdf well, i hope you enjoy it, space! i couldn't just keep it to myself after re-reading it :' ) to anyone else reading, major spoilers lie ahead if you haven't read the entirety of the kny manga!

     suma knew victory wouldn’t come cheap. she knew her family was lucky to have come out of the corps alive albeit a little roughed up. but they’re together nonetheless -- even as they wait for the sun to rise, even as they wait to hear news of muzan’s demise ( because suma refuses to think for a second that he’ll defeat the slayers this time ), the uzui family is together, and that is something of a miracle.

     the kami only have so many miracles to give.

     suma knew to expect heartbreak after the initial rush of triumph and relief, but there had been a part of her that remained hopeful that most of their comrades would come home banged up but breathing. she remembers an aunt once telling her hope breeds despair, that it is better to expect the worst than to be crushed by disappointment. as a kid, she thought it was a very pessimistic way to view the world and refused to take those words to heart. now, suma understands. 

     she cries a lot during the weeks following muzan’s defeat, and the retired kunoichi feels guilty each time because the others keep themselves together much better than suma can. they don’t ignore their grief, of course, and they all share their regrets ( words they should have told someone, a trip they promised another but never did get around to, missed opportunities they can never get back ), yet suma wonders if consoling her doesn’t become a little taxing. she’s always felt so deeply -- it isn’t easy to stop the tears once they start, nor is it easy to hold them back. to console her when they’ve all lost their friends... well, isn’t it a little unfair to her spouses?

      so suma tries to keep her tears to herself, at least for a little while, until she doesn’t feel so sad when hinatsuru makes sakura mochi or when she sees a butterfly in the garden. as it would turn out, though, suma isn’t very good at hiding things from her spouses. in fact, she’s horrible at it, and the only reason they leave her be for a time is to see if she simply needs to be alone. but it’s hard, and eventually tengen has enough of waiting. to suffer alone and in silence isn’t suma’s way at all.

     when he finds her, she’s holding a garden snake ( who would very well bite the kunoichi were it not for her careful grip of its head ) and openly weeping... but quietly. her bottom lip is caught between her teeth, looking rather red from the amount of pressure, and tengen calls her name only to startle suma bad enough that she loosens her hold on the snake.

     she has a new reason to cry then, as the moment it has a little leeway, the garden snake bites suma’s hand. 

     after a lot of wailing and careful prying of fangs out of flesh, suma sniffles as tengen carefully tends to her injury. she watches his large hand so delicately clean her wound, feeling warmth blossom in her chest that helps ease the pain. why was she holding a snake? he asks. because a bird was eyeing it, she replies. her husband hums and finishes wrapping a bandage around the bite.

     his magenta gaze rises to meet her eyes, soft yet firm when he finally asks, “ why were you crying, then? ”

     there’s no lying to him, and truth be told, suma really doesn’t want to. tears spring to her already puffy eyes. “...it made me think of iguro-san. ”

     tengen is already cupping her cheek when the tears fall. his thumb brushes away the traitorous drops as suma lets loose at last, crying and crying loudly. she misses everyone, she feels sorry for not spending more time with them ( she never even knew iguro-san’s favorite color! ), and she feels so sorry for being so much when her spouses are grieving, too. she’s sorry---

" i'm sorry i'm making it harder for you all! i'm sorry i'm always crying! " she hiccups, leaning into tengen's touch despite herself. her uninjured hand clutches at the material of his yukata, squeezes and squeezes as if that might make it all more bearable. " i wish i could be stronger, but i can't! "

please, don't hate her for it.

[gottabedramatic]

I AM BACK AND I AM IN PIECES

How am I supposed to move on from Lovely Runner? HOW?????

I just watched the last episode. Yes, I couldn't help myself and binge watched this drama in smaller portions – 10 episodes are out? I watched 8 in 2 days (actually I have more important thing to focus on, like my final exams coming up soon, but... it was LR. Definitely more important than studying, right?). I saved at least one episode left to watch before new episodes aired, but I gave up yesterday, watched 14th and 15th episode and then waited impatiently for the final ep today.

And I'm already considering a rewatch. I've never rewatched a new drama I just finished watching, I've never even thought about it in the first place. It didn't make a sense to watch again something I just finished, until this drama happened.

A few things about the drama (mainly Byeon Woo Seok):

Strong girl Nam Soon introduced me to Byeon Woo Seok, but when I found out his character dies in the drama, I just dropped it. I actually started it cuz I wondered if the drama would be at least half as good as Strong girl Do Bong Soon. Also for the cameo of Park Bo Young and Park Hyung Sik, and yes, they ate without leaving any crumbs, but that's about it. I really liked Woo Seok in this drama and I even posted a comment on ig's reel where I said morally gray character with good redemption arc would suit him.

I was definitely on a war with the spoilers, trying to wait until Lovely Runner finished airing. And I was utterly defeated by reels, tiktoks and yt shorts of Sun Jae being a total loser for Im Sol. The first thing from this drama that I spoiled to myself was Sun Jae's performance of 소나기/Sonaki/Sudden shower. (Btw, because the title of this song was never translated in the drama, the subs always said "sonaki", that's the only name of this song for me hahah.)

And what after I saw idol Sun Jae singing?My jaw? I had to take a walk to the Earth's core and back to pick it up. Byeon Woo Seok's voice was engraved in my mind in that very moment and this song is living there rent free for the rest of my life. I can't even speak Korean but I got the pronunciation of a few words from the song only by listening to it in the drama and now I'm singing along every time I hear it. And the meaning, the translation?????? If you can hear someone crying in the corner of whatever room or space you're in, that is me bawling my eyes out because of it.

Okay, now about the story (although I could talk about Sun Jae or Woo Seok all the time):

There were a few things I loved about this drama. First and foremost, the main leads devotion to each other. The number of scenes they had together. And the whole plot going around loser-love at first sight and selfless love that defies time and space? Perfect.

This drama was sometimes too hilarious. Whoever was in charge of the sense of humor department probably was one of the best comedians ever in their past life. Some scenes being funny because of Sun Jae being head over heels for Im Sol, then we have ridiculous scenes of Im Sol trying to act normal after she did something weird in front of Sun Jae. Their bickering, side characters making everything even more funny, the timing of all of these moments. The last time I laughed this much was while I watched Twinkling Watermelon. Before it, other kdrama that was as funny and memorable for its humor as LR was probably Goblin. And it makes sense since LR and Goblin have the same director (apparently, that's what reddit comment said, I'm too lazy to check hahah).

I could make even longer rant about this drama but here's the thing: rewatch never looked as temptingly as it looks now.

Also I definitely have to do an update on other dramas but I'll probably need another post for it. I got off my chest what I needed for now, and I'm going to start a rewatch or play Witcher 3 hahah (yes, I should definitely study instead of doing these things).

Dramas I'm currently watching:

A Journey to Love – 25/40 ep

My Demon – 6/16

Didn't finish yet and not sure if I ever do:

Strong girl Nam Soon – 10/12 (on hold)

18 again – probably 4/16 (and on hold)

Only for love – around 25th episode?

Want to watch, just waiting for more episodes:

Welcome to Samdalri

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract

The Last Immortal

A Good Day to be a Dog

Moon in the Day

so yeah, no tags cuz it's just for me as a reminder (for a drama slump) that in fact I have dramas I want to watch hahsha

[simplyotometrash]

MC Sits in a Salt Circle pt. 2

It was requested of me, so here's the next part to this!

Brothers x gender-neutral reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, angst I guess? Idk I hate writing angst. I like soft and funny stuff

Warnings: Bitter, angry succubi trying to break Asmo and MC up by framing him. Nothing sexual, no cheating.

MC Sitting in a Salt Circle Until They Apologize (younger brothers)

The two of you had gotten into it. The two of you had gone your separate ways to recollect your thoughts and maybe talk it out later, but you were feeling beyond petty. You were willing to devote yourself to being petty. You created a circle of salt inside of your bedroom in the middle of the floor and sat down in it, a pillow in hand and your D.D.D. fully charged. You weren't planning on going anywhere either.

"MC," you heard a knock at your door, "I'm coming in."

Satan:

You and Satan rarely ever got into fights.

It wasn't much of a fight, honestly.

You two had been reading a book series together, and he read ahead to the last book. And spoiled it for you!

So you were being petty.

Was it stupid? Yes. Did you care? No.

"Alright, MC, you're being petty. I get it. I'm sorry."

You puffed and elected to ignore his apology. He was trying to placate you without even acknowledging what he had done!

"You read ahead and spoiled the ending! We were reading that series together. It was supposed to be special."

He looked down, dejected, and sighed. "I know. I got ahead of myself. I wanted to keep going and didn't wait for you. I shouldn't have done it."

"No, you shouldn't have. You're the one who usually hates spoilers and you spoiled it for me! I don't even want to finish the series anymore."

He sat down next to the salt circle and pulled out the next book in the series. "Even if I read it to you?"

You didn't reject the idea but you stayed in your salt circle for the first few chapters.

There was no hiding Satan's smile when you broke the circle and scooted in next to him around chapter six.

All wasn't totally forgiven, but you were done being petty.

Asmodeus:

Why were you mad at your doting, enthusiastic boyfriend? He was hard to get mad at most of the time.

Well, it was mostly you being bitter and jealous.

You two had gone out to a nice club, Asmo loved showing you off whenever he could. You came back from the bathroom to see him sandwiched between two succubi on the dancefloor.

You knew he'd never, ever, cheat on you, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

"MC, can we please just talk. I've been giving you space because I know you're upset, but I don't want to end today with us being in a fight."

You couldn't resist Asmo no matter how hard you tried. His eyes looked puffy, which was abnormal, telling you that he'd been crying just like you.

"I know what it LOOKED like. I didn't want to be dancing with them, they pulled me to the floor while you were gone and pinned me there. One was even holding my hands down. They think it's "unfair" that I'm off the market, so they wanted to make you mad at me."

You sighed and hung your head, feeling quite foolish. "I'm sorry."

"No, darling, I understand why you're upset! You have every right to feel hurt. Just know, I would never hurt you. I love you far too much. They let go of my hands once you left and I ran out after you."

You dusted the salt away, breaking the circle, and you rushed into his arms. You were crying again. This time because you felt bad for jumping to conclusions.

"Hey," he cooed in your ear, holding you tight to his chest. "Don't cry, my sweetheart. We've both had too many tears. I thought you were going to leave me and I couldn't even sleep."

You went to say another apology only to be shushed.

Asmo swept you up into his arms and off of your feet.

"Asmo, what-"

"Shh, my sweet MC. We both need some special self-care and bonding time. I'm going to run us a hot bath, we'll do masks. We'll forget last night ever happened."

And you did everything he said you would and more. He wanted to erase that awful night from both of your memories.

Beelzebub:

Oh boy.

We know how Beel gets about his food being eaten, you know better than to even touch his food. He also respects you to not touch your food without permission.

Even then, you knew he couldn't help himself because of his sin. Food wasn't all he cared about, but it was hard to resist how strong the sin of gluttony affected him.

But this was about food.

So what caused this issue between the two of you?

A complete misunderstanding.

You had been getting out a really fancy pudding that you bought. It was big enough to share with Beel, which was your plan.

You left it on the counter for no more than five minutes and came back to it gone and Beel standing right there. He knew you had bought it, so you assumed he wouldn't eat it.

You were in shock, to say the least. You were very upset thinking he'd gone behind your back and eaten something he knew was yours.

"MC, I'm sorry," he said softly. He had that kicked puppy look and it broke your heart immediately.

"Why'd you eat it? I told you we were going to share it. I was really looking forward to that pudding and eating it with you."

"Eat it...? I didn't eat it. I thought you were mad at me for not stopping him."

"Wait, stopping who?" You were already out of the salt line, arms around your boyfriend in apology.

"Mammon. I came in after he finished the pudding off. I was going to tell him off, but he bolted when I walked in."

Oh, now it was on. Beel patted your head lightly, unable to stop chuckling. For once, food being eaten that was meant for you two didn't anger him. He was just glad you weren't mad at him.

"Instead of going to kill Mammon, how about we go buy a new pudding instead? I'll buy it and we can share it like you wanted."

Belphegor:

He's an easy one to have a fight with.

Not really big fights. Usually disagreements or getting frustrated.

And today was a frustration day.

You guys had at least two dates every week that took you out of the house as you spent much of your time indoors.

Belphie did not want to leave his bed. He even told you as much, saying it didn't matter if you went out because all that mattered was that you were together.

That was true, sure, but it also stung. It felt like your own feelings and what you wanted sometimes didn't matter to him.

He knew he had fucked up when you sniffled and walked away instead of responding.

"Hey." He sat down and looked at you, resting his cheek in his palm with his elbow on his knee.

"I'm sorry. I did some thinking and then talk about what happened with Beel. He scolded me for what I said to you."

"Good. You deserve it. You were being a complete ass."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I was being an ass to you. I'm sorry. I know you like it when we go out, and the fact that I was cranky from just waking up isn't an excuse for hurting your feelings. Am I allowed a second chance?"

You narrowed your eyes for a second before brushing some salt aside.

"I'm willing to be swayed for the price of some Bufo Egg Milk Tea and a movie."

He laughed and got up, extending his hand to you. "It's a date then."

[thepaintedlady00]

Oneshot: The Happiest Place on Earth

Saw a post forever ago about what it would be like to take Dream to Disneyland and so I immediately wrote this! I was going to post it then but it contained a huge spoiler for the series so I held onto it and now that the reveal has passed this little drabble is ready for y'all to read!

TW: fluff, sarcasm, Dream hates Disneyland, just an overall cute time 🥰

"Come on Dream!" I said pulling him by the cuff of his coat. "It's the most magical place on Earth!"

Barely taking the steps forward, Dream glared up at the park and said, "I think I'd prefer another trip to Hell."

"You promised you'd do anything I wanted if I won the bet," I reminded him. "This is what I want to do."

"I did not expect you to choose something so…" He sighed, eyes sending me a displeased glare. I smirked, waiting for him to finish the words I'd once spoken after losing a bet. "Very well. I shall honor the terms of our agreement."

I smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek as I settled in beside him, no longer having to pull him along. "Thank you. Try not to look so miserable?"

"That is not part of our agreement." He said, looking down at me looking like I'd just strangled Matthew.

"Fine, pout all you like, but I'm getting my money's worth of this."

"You're insufferable," he sighed, but the fond look in his eye told me what his words really meant.

"I know."

Matthew hopped along the ground. "I can't believe you actually made this happen, Penny."

"I should thank you too, if it weren't for our original bet this would never have happened." I said recalling the events that led us to this glorious victory.

Matthew and I sat on the steps in the throne room. I was pissed. Dream sat on his throne behind us, reading, while I grumbled and twisted the threads in my fingers. "Stupid fucking slippery ass magic thread bullshit!"

"I told you," Matthew said proudly. "Can't make a raven as good as me."

"I'm not finished yet!" I insisted.

He looked at the dimly glowing lump hanging between my fingers. "I think you are."

I glared at the bird and then at the man on his throne. "If his royal highness would just give me a tiny piece of advice then maybe this would be easier!"

Dream barely reacted, just turned another page of his book. "I'm not going to meddle in your betting. It would be unfair."

"How?" I demanded. "It's not like you'd be doing it for me."

"No, but telling you how I create creatures would be giving you the answer."

"I don't think your advice is that magical Dream."

His eyebrow arched as he looked up from his page. "Then why do you need it?"

I scoffed. "I don't."

Starry eyes flicked down to the mess in my hands. "Clearly."

"Alright then. If I can make a raven without your help then you have to do anything I want."

"And if you cannot?"

"Then I'll do whatever you want."

He thought it over for a moment with a quiet hum. "Very well, little Weaver."

It took me an hour and a half to complete the dumb bird, but it was worth every second for the look on his face when I told him Disneyland was what I wanted to do today. As we walked around, looking at the scenery and large crowds I was beaming. Dream of the Endless was far less pleased.

We waited in line for one of the rides, his arms hanging at his sides and an unimpressed pout on his lips. Matthew perched close by complaining about how unfair it was. "Mr Grumpy gets to go on the rides and I'm over here forced to sit out on the fun because I'm a damn bird!"

"If I could trade places with you I would," Dream grumbled.

"Both of you shut it. Matthew I'll get you all the food you want. Dream just try to have fun? For me?" I flashed my big puppy dog eyes and the ever so slight lip pout at him, the two things I knew he couldn't resist and watched him crumble.

He sighed. "Fine."

Once we finally got strapped in he looked at the ties with a scoff. "Is this meant to protect us?"

"It's not a fight, Dream." 

"I should hope not, with so little and flimsy protection we would surely perish." He looked over at me, eyeing my own protective buckles. "Are you certain this is safe?"

With a brilliant smile I answered, "Aww, are you worried for me?"

He rolled his eyes and looked ahead. "Should you fall I'll not come to your aid."

"Yes you would," I said smugly. "You'd miss me far too much to let me fall to my death. Plus she'd kick your ass once she got here."

"She is quite fond of you." He admitted.

Once the ride began to move, Dreams arm shot across me acting as a secondary protective measure. It was thoughtful in a very Dream way. The higher we climbed the brighter his eyes seemed to grow. He was enjoying this. Every twist and turn and hang he loved. The thrill of such mortal inventions truly made him feel excited. After we got off he returned to his usual pouting, but even in his disgruntled state he didn't complain. He waited with me in every line, went on the rides with me, took pictures, all of it. 

He liked the fast rides the best, I could feel his excitement and adrenaline shuffle between us every time we reached the top of a drop or went through a tunnel, but even knowing I felt it he'd never actually admit to such a thing. The people he hated. Loathed would be a better word to describe it. At one point someone ran past him, spilling some of their drink on his boots and he nearly made everyone in the park vanish. But at the same time he watched all the children interact with their favorite princesses and heroes with a mournful joy in his eyes. 

I hadn't thought of what seeing so many kids at once would put him through. The loss of his son, though so long had passed, still haunted him. As I turned, mouth open to apologize and offer to go Dream was gone. I looked around a bit, moving through the crowd trying to locate his tall dark silhouette, but it was Matthew I saw first. As I moved closer I saw Dream, crouched down and holding the hand of a little girl dressed head to toe in a bright green dress with large fairy wings on her back. She clumsily put her shoe back on, using Dream as a support and then she turned to him with a toothy smile before running off to her parents, waving at him as they walked away.

My heart filled with the absolute want to see him interact with kids of our own one day, but above my own feelings I felt his. He hummed with a similar longing accompanied by a dull ache, a lingering thought of what he'd once had with Orpheus. He stood silently first a moment, only turning when I gently brushed my hand against his. With tearful eyes he smiled at me. "Forgive my disappearance the child fell and I helped her up."

I shrugged off his apology. "I don't mind. It was sweet of you to help her."

Dream felt the emotion in me and his smile widened. "I'll not allow abh future children of ours to suffer this hellscape of yours."

Scoffing, I rose up on the tips of my toes and slid the mouse ear head be and into his messy hair with a grin. "Hellscape? That's a bit dramatic."

"You cannot truly expect me to wear these." He sighed.

"Just for one picture, please?" I begged.

"One."

I pulled out my camera, moving in close against him and taking the picture. He looked miserable in the ears, but I adored it. "I think I'll hang this one in the throne room."

"You'll do no such thing." He warned.

"Fine, I'll just hang it on our wall then," I compromised.

"You're insufferable."

"Only for you, Dream Lord."

As the sun set and the night sky filled with fireworks, Dreamsarms wrapped around me. "Are you pleased with your victory day, my love?"

"It was perfect," I said, tilting my head up to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Thank you, Morpheus."

"A deal is a deal," he said simply. "However, in future, remind me to never let you choose this again."

"You loved it," I insisted.

"I love you." His starry eyes gleamed down at me.

I hummed, full of food and joy and contentment. "As I love you."

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[mysticstrawberryphantom]

KNY S2 spoilers!

Can you write a fluffy but maybe yandere! Gyutaro x f!reader? I'm so obsessed right now!!

A/N: Sorry for the wait lol I literally finished the series a few days ago. It was VERY good. I hope I did Gyutaro justice.

Warnings: Light Yandere behavior. It is only for entertainment purposes, I do not condone this behavior and if you are in a relationship like this, please reach out for help. I have resources if you can't find help with your close ones.

The groan was heard louder. It seemed to belong to a man's. For some reason he seemed to be suffering from something. 

Thrown away.

Disposed like trash by someone who was supposed to take care of you till they died. 

No, you shouldn't think like that. He only did that because there was no other way out. Mother's medical bills were too high in interest that no one in your family could live in peace. Your other four siblings still had lots of life ahead of them while you had turned 18, an old maiden. Your only saving grace being how young you looked compared to your age. 

The lady of the house bought the lie that you were 15 when your father told her. She happily parted with enough money for even a new hospital to be made, just because you could play the shamisen and koto already.

You didn't feel like you were worth so much at the moment though. 

You had been thrown into the attic with no food a few minutes ago because they had no vacant rooms just yet and it was too late for you to eat. 

At the present you were crying silently, a terrible habit you picked up at home. Terrible because everyone thought you never cried, therefore thinking you were stronger than what you really were. What was another burden more if you hadn't cried yet? 

It was suffocating.

Almost like the moist air in the attic. The air was so heavy that even the mice didn't want to move around. 

It was so silent. 

That was until you heard rustling from the farthest corner from you. 

-"Hello?" Your hoarse voice called out after a few moments of hearing the movements. It sounded like the one making the noise was either on the other side of the attic, or really stealthy. 

-"W-were you sold today too?" You tried bonding with them. 

Nothing, but the rustling became more careful, and even some muttering was carried over to your ears, though you couldn't make it out precisely.

-"HungryYy." A voice wavered around.

How frail, you thought. How parched must they be for their voice to crack so much? 

-"They left you without food too? I have something to share if you'd like."

A low groan was barely heard. 

-"Don't be shy! I hope- I hope I'm not scaring you! Please, share these star candies with me. " You kindly called out. You just didn't want to be alone all night in an unfamiliar place. 

-"Share these with me then?" You tried again.

-"I'm not sure where you are, but I'll leave some next to the shoji screen."

You finally pinpointed where the voice resided. 

-"no, NO." It began. -"Stay away." 

-"I'm sorry if I'm scaring you, but I don't mean any harm. I'm just a young girl, I can't really do much to you." Why were you being so kind to this stranger? Perhaps because you wanted them to return the sentiment.

-"I'm not scared. " He vocally pouted with a scoff at the end. -"As if I could be scared of someone so weak." 

Big, bony fingers clawed at your hand and took the candy. His hands were cold, that concerned you. You wanted to hold it to make it warmer. 

-"No. I don't feel like hearing screams today from a weakling like you. Leave me alone." 

Despite the very serious threatening tone to his words, you couldn't help but feel some tyoe of care for this stranger. What did he mean by screams? His voice could barely even stabilize itself, there's no way you were weaker than him. 

-"I'm not sure what you mean by that, but if you're not in the mood for food.. .. .. would chatting be ok?"

The shoji screen shook rapidly for a moment, leaving you to guess that the person behind the screen had either sat up or shifted his body to face you while still sitting. 

-"Chatting?"

-"If you would please. There's still many hours to the night." You softly pleaded. 

-"Hmmmmm." The stranger began in a softer tone. -"My voice doesn't bother you? It isn't comical to you??"

-"No," you shifted your legs to a different sitting position. -"Laughing or judging things that can't change are a waste of time and cruel." 

-"Yes." The man breathed out as if he had been underwater for hours. -"Yes! You're right." 

-"What's your name?"

-"Gyutaro, yours?"

His name includes the word pimp??, you thought to yourself.

-"Y/N. ... Were you born here?"

-"Did my name give it away?" He sneered. -"If you think my name is a sign of how cursed I was since birth, wait till you meet more of me." 

-"No one is innately born a curse, please don't speak of yourself that way." You oddly snapped at him, emotions welling up inside. -"Sorry, I didn't mean to speak brashly. It just breaks my heart when others speak about themselves that way." 

The shoji screen shifted once again and a silhouette of a head with a wavy half bun hairstyle peaked quickly. You couldn't see him well, since the moon was against your face, but he did. 

-"You're pretty, you can't say that. I hate that you said that now when you don't even know what it means to be born cursed." 

-"Beauty can be a curse too. I've always been treated like an object, spoken to like I was cattle. Like I don't have value other than my face. No one really cares for who you are and think it's okay to treat or touch you anyway they desire." 

-"Tch." Was all Gyutaro said for a minute. -"You're right though. The world is harsh to the ugly and the pretty. My sister, the prettiest woman out there .. … .. she's experienced what you just said, and I couldn't protect her when it happened." 

As he spoke, you stealthily made your way over and once he had finished, your right hand plopped around the screen with a few candies in your hand. 

-"I'm sorry to hear that." You softly began but quickly continued when he heard your voice so close. -"If it makes you feel better, I have my eyes closed. U-until you tell me to open them. Ple-please, help yourself."

But after hearing your groggy voice apologize so many times, he caved. 

Or perhaps you just wanted to feel someone else's hand in yours. You wanted to feel less lonely. 

-"Gyu-Gyuotaru? Would you feel okay holding my hand?" Your voice began to quiver. 

-"Don't give me orders, weak human. Who said I want your trembling hand near me."

 

You sniffled in response, trying to hold tears in. 

All you wanted was some semblance of comfort. But perhaps you were asking for too much from a stranger. 

-"S-sorry." You whispered. 

-"If you're going to cry about that- ugh!" Suddenly a lightly spotted arm appeared and grasped your right hand firmly, almost a little too hard. 

-"Th-thank you." You softly wept in gratitude.

Scoffing, he asked what your story was. 

You spilled all of it. And by the end of it, he was holding both of your hands. 

After you finished, you both sat in silence, grasping tightly each other's hands as he began with his story. 

At the end of his, right when you could feel like in an hour the sun would come up, your body felt heavy. Your head would bounce and lightly hit the screen, to which Gyutaro would scold you to be careful. 

You were then whisked away, never to be heard of in the entertainment district. Your father never looked for you, nor did your new house matron. But Gyutaro did so without fail every time you tried to return to be with humans. He'd get angry, but understood you missed them, so he was patient with you.

-"Keep your eyes closed."

-"Why?"

-"Just do it!!" He hissed. 

-"Hmm kay."

Suddenly, you were embraced and held in what felt like hefty, muscular arms of a tall man. You lay in them, coddled like a baby.

-"Do you want to leave this place and live a different life than the one handed to you?" A snake-like voice whispered into your ear. 

-"Yes." You softly responded while nuzzling into the stranger's arms. How long had it been since anyone had held you close like this? 

-"Then I'll take you away from here and take care of you until you die." His silvery breath danced around your neck with every word. 

Your eyes shot open the moment he finished speaking. 

Green. Green hair and tinted skin. Yellow, beady eyes lovingly staring into your soul, as if they were hungry. A crooked smile that could make any child cry from terror. 

-"Don't worry, if you don't want to die, you don't have to." He offered, thinking you had gotten scared from that, not the part where you'd be with a stranger for the rest of your life.

-"Now, let's go." He proudly said before hearing your response. 

-"Gyutaro!" You began to protest, scared. You went from one ownership to the next. You didn't want to be trapped with a man that you had just met!

-"I know, I'm ugly." He wailed. -"But I can tell you loved me before knowing my appearance," Gyutaro's voiced hungrily. -"Your- your hands told me so.. ...I know you can love me after seeing me... ...You do have the rest of your life to get used to it." He laughed heartily. 

He was patient and loving till the day he never came back. Leaving you as lonely as the first night you met him.