#another spoiler because i thought i would finish today but couldn't
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cheezeybread · 7 months ago
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Hello :) My request is MC/Yuu overblotting- but not with magic! What I picture is them having a nervous breakdown. It starts off with them hyperventilating and being unresponsive. Then it devolves into them screaming their head off until their voice starts going hoarse and hitting anyone who tries to touch them. Maybe even throwing and destroying things. Afterwards, they refuse to speak to Crowley- even avoiding him- due to his role in their breakdown. In my mind their breakdown is caused by long term stress and triggered by Crowley telling them that there is no way for them to go home.
YES
I love this idea, it's been bouncing around in my brain for so long <3
TW // Harsh language, violent depicitions, graphic metaphors, ANGST
Uhhhh, I took some creative liberties here and there, so some things (mainly regarding Idia and Malleus because I haven't gotten up to their books in the game and refuse to look up spoilers LMAO) may not be 100% canon oopsies!
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
You were starting to feel exhausted.
Well, that was an understatement, You had felt exhausted ever since you arrived at NCR...but this feeling was something slightly different. It was like a nagging sensation, yet also like some sort of wet rag placed over your mind at the same time. It was concerning, to say the least, but it was something you would have to shrug off until you could find the free time to fix it.
Which most likely wouldn't be anytime soon, knowing how the days went for you.
Grim was always priority number one. Keeping him out of trouble meant constantly keeping an eye on him, de-escalating any fights that he might try to kick up if left alone for a single moment. And since the two of you were technically one student, that meant that his grades were yours. Even though he was the only one out of the both of you that could use magic, he still slacked off at every turn, which left you to straighten every corner he tried to cut, finish every project that he wrote one sentence on and left, finish every alchemy potion he left bubbling on the cauldron, even if you had your own stuff to complete.
Then there were the tasks given to you by Crowley, your "ever so kind" benefactor. Despite his school getting you into this mess in the first place, Crowley considered it your fault, and as such, made you complete various chores to earn your weight around school. Which, paired with your classes, made for a day in and of itself. This isn't to include the yard-long to-do list he gave you at the start of every week, most of the points looking suspiciously like tasks the Headmaster was supposed to do himself...
And there were the students. Some you didn't know tried to kick up fights with you, knowing you couldn't use magic back on them. So you had to learn to avoid these students, or make sure you were always traveling with a friend. And as for your friends, every single one came to you with their problems day in and day out. A dorm dispute, so they needed to crash at Ramshackle for the night and eat all of your food. An overblot. More fights. Homework. Tutoring sessions. Projects they needed your help with.
You shook the thoughts out of your mind and continued walking to class with Grim, the Direbeast nestled in the crook of your arm as you balanced both yours and his schoolbooks in the other arm.
"And then, Ace was all like-" His voice sounded unusually high-pitched today. Or maybe that was just your imagination? Either way, it was giving you a headache.
"YN!" Another voice called out, the owner quickly jogging up to you. Ace and Deuce, ever the duo. You nodded your head at them in greeting, as Grim twisted his head around to look at them.
"Ace! Hah, I was just telling YN about what happened yesterday in the courtyard!" At the mention of the incident, Ace's face blanched, and the boy looked uncomfortable and ashamed.
"Oh, you mean with him and Professor Crewel?" Deuce spoke up, laughing already "Yeah, that was hilarious- remind me again, why exactly did he-"
"YN!" Now came one of the twins- normally you wouldn't have much of an issue telling them apart, but your head was starting to pound even harder now, making your vision a little blurrier. The fact that he didn't greet you with a nickname most likely meant that it was Jade.
"Oh...hey," You greeted, your brows furrowing from the pain in your head.
"Have you been to the greenhouse recently? I seem to have misplaced-"
"SHRIMPY" Ah, and there was twin number two. You felt your shoulders being constricted in a strong hug, much to Grim's dismay
"STAWPIT, YOU'RE CRUSHIN ME!" The Direbeast yowled, practically clawing himself out of your arms and jumping down onto the ground.
"Yo, YN, are you alri-" Ace started, but he, too, was interrupted
"YN!" Oh great! You recognized the Headmaster's annoying voice anywhere. And he waltzed up to you with all the elegance of an unpolished piece of charcoal, one hand reaching out to pull your arms free of Floyd's vice grip, and his other hand dropping a stack of papers into your now-outstretched arms. "Please, finish all of these by the end of this week, if you don't mind. It's papers for the senior's internships this year, and they need to be signed to be official, but I'm much too busy doing...other things...to be bothered."
"Are you still looking for a way to get me home?" You heard yourself mumble out loud, without even thinking of asking that question in the first place. But you had made it a habit to ask Crowley every time you saw him, so perhaps it was just muscle memory.
"Oh!" He chirped, straightening the front of his suit "Ah, yes, well, in my infinite wisdom, I have found out the reason to your barging in on our new-year's orientation, how you came to be here. But as for you returning, hmm, yes, I have managed to conclude that it is thoroughly impossible."
He said it so casually that it took you a moment to digest what had been said.
The students around you had gone silent, and you could feel their eyes all turning to you.
"What." Was all you could manage.
Crowley became increasingly uncomfortable, fidgeting with the watch he kept buttoned to his vest, then brushing off his front side, then folding his arms before repeating the process again "It is impossible to return you home, I'm afraid," he said with as much bravado as he could muster "Now, as for your stay here, since there is nothing left that I can do, you will need to continue to work for-"
Everything seemed to crumble around you in that exact moment. The feeling of damp, dreaded annoyance that had been bubbling up in the back of your mind all day came to the surface at once, and you couldn't help but slam your eyes shut tight against the world. You didn't want to see that damn Crow, you didn't want to see your friends, you didn't want to see anybody!
You opened your mouth to speak in that moment, dropping to your knees, but all that came out was a painful, sorrow-filled wail, so loud and so harsh that you could feel the inside of your throat shred with every passing second.
A puddle of black ink started to fill your mind's eye, growing larger and larger until it was all your brain could think of.
𓆩⟡𓆪
Every dorm in the school was based off of one of the Great Seven. All but for the Ramshackle dorm, a long-forgotten piece of trash that rested on the campus of the school rather than in its own pocket dimension like the others.
Every housewarden embodied the spirit of their designated Great.
Riddle Rosehearts idolized the Queen of Hearts, following every law she had set in her chaotic kingdom, becoming as strict and severe with the enforcement of rules as she was.
Leona Kingscholar was a second-born, raised in the shadow of his older brother and sneered at by his people, and now had to live with the knowledge that he would never be a ruler with the birth of his nephew.
Azul Ashengrotto was an octo-mer, much like the Sea Witch, who specialized in contracts with those who were less fortunate and needed a favor.
Jamil Viper, although not a Housewarden, technically, but some would argue that he deserved to be such, was a consultant for the person in charge- someone he viewed as daft and naive to the ways of the world.
Vil Schoenheit, a man who wanted nothing more than to be considered the "Fairest of All", unable to cope with the fact that there was one who might be better than he.
Idia Shroud, a "loner" by typical standards, was born from a family long cursed, a family seen as Pariahs due to their research and studies.
Malleus Draconia, a descendant of Faes, royalty, with horns that rivaled the Great Thorn Fairy's. Despite longing for human interaction, and simply to be included, he was shunned for his bloodline and odd actions.
But you, Prefect of Ramshackle dorm, had no one to model yourself after.
You were nobody.
Every Housewarden Overblotted, one after another, because they couldn't be the spitting image of the great Seven, because of pressure, because they didn't realize that they were only teenagers who didn't have to be perfect.
Riddle overblotted because he couldn't grasp the concept of being wrong. Leona, because he wouldn't be anything greater than a second-born scum. Azul, because all his work was shredded and he was left with no power to put him above those who bullied him years ago. Jamil, because he had enough of pretending to be someone he wasn't. Vil, because he couldn't admit that he wasn't perfect. Idia, because he wanted freedom. Malleus, because he was tired of himself and the hatred others showed him.
Which only left you.
Nobody.
The nobody who landed in this strange new world, a world in which everyone had magic...except for you. A world were you were less than. A world where you were treated like a burden, despite everyone laying all of their problems on you, demanding you fix them. A world where, no matter how hard you tried, you would always, always be less than.
A nobody.
𓆩⟡𓆪
Then entire campus of NCR shook with your rage and sorrow.
The students both outside and inside stopped, simultaneously looking at whoever was closest to them before running to the source of the wail.
Everyone was silent. What could they do?
It was an overblot, the school's nurse would officially state later, brought on by stress and pushing yourself past the limit. Although you had no magic to push yourself over the edge with, the sheer amount of mental exhaustion you were being put through would work just as well as an exertion of magic, if not more so. In the privacy of their rooms and dorms, assured that no prying ears would overhear them, the students agreed amongst each other that it was more terrifying of a sight than anyone else's overblot they've seen. Yours was one of pure emotion, without any magic to artifically amplify it. Pure and untainted.
And while anyone else who overblotted could only use their magic, you held something far more powerful.
You held the emotions of hundreds of students at NCR. The most top-notch mages and students look to you with a sense of reverence. Whether you knew it or not, you held the strings of the hearts of them all. With one single word, you could cause any of the Housewardens to level entire cities for you, if only to gain your approval. You held the strings of fate for them all, and your pain and suffering was enough to make the same Housewardens, and anybody else who knew you closely- or even in passing- unable to use their magic for weeks after your breakdown.
They just...couldn't seem to use it. It was as if their magic were broken.
When you ran out of breath, finally getting all of your anger out of your system, you inhaled shakily, putting trembling hands on the ground to steady yourself.
When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was a speckle of blood on the concrete below you, where your screams had caused your throat to crack and shred. You could see people in your peripheral vision, your friends, not one of them moving towards you.
Directly in front of you, looking as if he were about to make a run for it, was none other than Dire Crowley. You could see the sky behind him, dark and grey. Was it that color before?
"I-" You started, your voice cracking, but nonetheless heavy with emotion. You stood up slowly, your knees buckling at first, but eventually letting you stand up to your full height. You stood as tall as you could, your shoulders straight and your eyes focused straight ahead, drilling a hole through Crowley's head. Your face was wet from tears, and more were threatening to spill, but you didn't care about that right now.
"I'm done with you, Crowley," You spat, your voice holding a level of hatred you didn't know was possible. "I'm done working to make up for your shit. I'm done risking my life for you when I'm defenseless, when I'm stuck in this god-damn world because of you!" You held up an accusing finger, taking a step forward to jab it in his chest. He stepped back, but you stepped forward again, keeping the distance between you two even.
"I never wanted to be here, yet you treat me like I'm some sort of burden who showed up at your door- you force me to work, force me to be the therapist for children who need fucking help! How many overblotting students have I saved, huh? How many of those were ones you ran from, ones you refused to help with?! When have you ever been on my side? When have you ever stopped to think not of yourself, but me? What about ME, you worthless piece of shit?!"
You took another shaky breath, wiping the blood gathering on your lips with your free hand.
Crowley let out a small breath as you lowered your finger, and you turned around in a small circle to look at the crowd of students surrounding you. There were your friends, some looking concerned, other terrified. Grim was being held by Ace in a comforting gesture, the cat-like beast shaking. Some of the students had unreadable looks on their faces. Others looked confused.
"I'm done." You hissed, half to yourself, and half to the students. Although it was low enough so only those a few feet away could hear you speak, the word got around quickly enough, and the throng of students began whispering amongst themselves.
You ignored the offers of helps from your friends, and stormed off, back to the Ramshackle dorm, house of Nobody.
Ruled by Nobody.
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
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everythingwasnormalhere · 5 months ago
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i don't really wanna do much today so...
what about an analysis of I've Got You, Brother because i wanna rant about it >:3
(i've been thinking about all this a lot since I wrote it lol)
huge spoilers under the cut so please i beg you don't read it till you've finished the fic ;w;
probably the first scene of this fic i thought while knowing i wanted it to appear in it, was the scene after lucas' funeral. a while before that i already had the headcanon of kevin giving kenny that red scarf of his, but that scene, unlike this one, wasn't fully developed when i daydreamed it.
my kenny, slv kenny, has a lot of trauma as a kid, trauma that shapes his personality later on. yet, he's learned he needs to suck it up, not tell anyone - mainly because his uncle taught him so. lucas was gay indeed, stuart got that one right at least, but after he did what he did to kevin, he decided it was too dangerous. kevin would snitch, surely, he was old enough to know it was wrong, he had proven this. kenny was not.
"never tell anyone about this", he had promised, and so kenny never really specified it - loyalty, fear, who knew. but he couldn't help but take kevin's word that lucas was gone, and maybe that's why he slipped. kevin never asked any more questions, kenny never gave him any more answers.
(Brother by Kodaline - the song this fic took its title from - just started playing, and that is incredibly fitting XD)
"“You look like shit” Kenny pointed out. “You should see the other guy” Kevin smiled, sitting next to Kenny."
a fun fact about this scene, is that i thought of it before anything else in this fanfic, yet with a different theme. i was feeling pretty dysphoric, my parents were being transphobic assholes, nothing new, and i said "why not project this onto kenny?". in the original scenario, kenny would come out to his father, or maybe he'd be outed by some reason, and stuart would be no good about it, so kevin would jump in and defend his brother. then, everything would turn out as it does in the fic.
but slv kenny's agab is left ambiguous, and it will stay that way, which makes the original idea lose all its sense. yet, as i wanted to write it and add it to the story, i figured out another thing the fight could've stemmed from, and rolled with it. it being kenny's birthday was just something that came to me as i wrote, but it makes a sensing way for him to receive his parka so all good XD
next scene is probably the closest these two ever went to talking about their feelings. "He wanted me to go with his friends, he didn't want to hang out with me." was a typical occurence by the time they were twelve/thirteen, which is when that happens. kenny had gone to that type of hang outs a few times already, and always felt as if he wasn't welcome there, his presence and his exit equally unnoticed. butters had always the best intention, but are good intentions ever enough? the spot at the rooftop became kenny's favorite place since that night.
kevin isn't too talkative, or at least not slv kevin, but he knows his brother all too well, as shown in the next scene.
i needed it to be from kenny's pov, even if just to show the shock at "Kevin had never hit him sober." - because kevin had hit him drunk, not even just that, but typically kevin was at least a bit tipsy. him being violent yet sober showed the importance of the situation - and also showed how easily kenny would accept kevin becoming stuart 2.0.
it was short before butters ran away from home, and kenny was going through possibly the worst moments of his life till then. it was also the time in which he would kill himself every other day, trying to find a way that stuck. the broship had broken, kenny's home life was as shitty as always, what was the point? "But- Kenny, I can't let you waste your life like that. I'm probably gonna become a poor drunk guy like mom and dad, but you're smart dude. You have a future. Don't throw it away". those words likely saved kenny's life. kevin knows him, but he's too quiet to show it. yet, when he sees his brother in that state? he can't help but try and pull him out of it.
"This was the first time Kevin had seen his brother in weeks" says a lot about the mccormicks, actually. kenny, spending his days out with his friends or stuck in his room. kevin, not coming home until he has to. they had lost each other, grown up enough to stop needing the other as much. yet, kevin's always up to helping kenny out.
their conversation on the couch, just proves how much they really love each other. kenny doesn't really cuddle with anyone besides butters and his siblings, and kevin isn't much of the type to be physically affectionate with pretty much anyone. yet they enjoy being in each other's company, and they trust each other enough for it. "“Fucked him yet?” Kevin half joked." also shows how much kevin really knows his brother - even after they're not that in touch, he's noticed how close butters and kenny really are. he's also proving to kenny how he will not judge, allowing him to open up if he ever wants to, without fearing a reaction like the one their parents would likely have.
("“I love you”, is what Kevin would've said were he more vocal about his feelings. But he wasn't, so he took a sip of his beer and turned up the volume.". fun fact, they never said they love each other, and now you're forced to live with this information :3)
"“Showed up when I died, haven't left ever since” Kenny nonchalantly said, and Kevin shrugged it off". I don't have much to say about this scene, but fuck me if kenny isn't like this. he's sincere with kevin, yet aware he won't be believed, so he doesn't really press it. kevin, meanwhile, is used to his brother saying stuff like that. if kenny had ever told kevin about his curse? i like to believe kevin wouldn't have hesitated to believe everything about it.
aaand we're at the final arc of igyb!!
(after i took a tiny doomscrolling break bc fingers hurt smh)
i think i should first talk about why i did what i did. and that is, killing kevin off.
you see, in most stories and universes where kevin dies, he does it heroically. saving his siblings from their parents' wrath, getting in the way of a gunshot, taking part in a fight - he dies a hero. that's not how real life works. people just... die. without a warning. without a reason. one day they're there, the next they're gone forever.
kenny thought he understood death, mostly after having died so often, but he didn't. kevin's death, it made him realize people just leave forever, not giving any warning, not saying goodbye. human life is such a fragile thing, and he won't waste his stuck in the shithole of a town south park is. he's terrified of losing his friends the way he lost kevin, he's terrified of permanently dying with nobody to remember him.
he was lucky laura offered to take karen in, because otherwise, he probably would have stayed. but he knows, she'd be kept safe, and most importantly, away from their parents.
and, kenny?
he is going to live.
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achoshistor · 2 months ago
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final fantasy 7
spoilers for everything idk (ff7, remake&dlc, crisis core but only till like chapter four because thats how far i made it)
bro ive been tweaking out for like three months now. i bought the ff7 remake bc it was 50% off a few months ago and I was like I'm never gonna find a deal like this ever again (only for it to go on 50% again lmfao) but ok whatever it was literally 35 for the game and the dlc which is one million times cheaper than what splatoon 2 and octo expansion were and its ok because i can never own it physical anyways but bro I didn't even want to buy this game in the first place i was gonna buy ffxv cause i saw a clip of notcis or whatever that guys name is putting his lettuce on a nother guy's plate and i was like "wtf is final fantasy even about" SPOILER ALERT: TERRORISM like ????
i feel like i can never every play another game after finishing the remake and the intermission i bought crisis core reunion and theres literally LESS fighting in that game so far but it was also cheaper and i got it physical (after scouring ebay for two months to find a us edition because i dont want to even risk seeing things spelled in the british way because last time when that happened when I played great ace attorney 1&2 i couldn't stop spelling things in british every time i'd write an essay and then i couldnt tell what was wrong "its just an extra letter" no bro its messing up my diction) but anyways please just let me beat things up with a sword i wish people still used swords to fight then the fights would be more fair and the world would be a better place. but man sephiroth is lowkey a nice guy and the crashout was 100% valid not the killing people part but i would also crash out if i found out my mom was actually some 2000 year thingy they found in the ground. today i saw some snowflakes fall (they were the big ones) and freaked out for a second because i thought they were white feathers (I NEED TO GO OUTSIDE)
i also "finished" (AKA gave up right before the final boss) the original ff7 because i didnt want to deal with spoilers cause the main plot points should be the same anyways but i don't have enough patience to play retro games (the last one i finished was kirby super star three years ago) and they are like ten times harder than modern games too like i think i only got 10 game overs max in the remake but like one hundred million in the original and i was like at this point i dont even care anymore like we just need to beat sephiroth right? speaking of i really did think we just had to beat sephiroth and that he was just evil for the love of the game because all i knew was from that smash bros trailer but really everything is hojos and lowkey lucrecia's fault bc theyre bums like are you jealous of vincent or something how do you get a girl who's literally just broken up with this guy pregnant like no time bro literal bum activity im glad vincent was able to beat up hojo at the end. he was also my strongest party member (and had the hardest spell post out of all of them).
i was lowkey tweaking when i saw genesis cause i thought something seemed awfully familiar lo and behold hes just evil gackt. i saw a picture of some genshin character's sword and i was like holy sigma is that genesis rhaspodos but nope it was some genshin twink this is off topic but i HATE how like half of the characters in genshin look like children/teenagers and the other half are either whitewashed (brighter than printer paper) or have the most awful color scheme like unpleasant gradient just showed up to your door. i kept thinking angeal was named angelo because ive only ever met people named angelo and not angeal but so far his story seems too similar to sonons. zack = onika angeal = burgers OH his name is angeal like angel LMFAo
I barely edit my tumblr posts for coherence sorry if youre not one of my like 4 followers but anyways episode intermission gave me a genuine crash out. I was like "who is yuffie" but then i found out. yuffie is my goat. i hate fort condor and i still hate fort condor but i didnt know there was a literal fort with a condor on it. i was out of it bro i have nobody here that may hear this and i will be ashamed i genuinely couldnt pay attention to the game cuz of sonon hes so fine bro too bad he DIED bro i even felt bad for nero cause they forcefully made him shut up with that muzzle thing but as per usual he was a bum but theres no second part to the dlc (yet) 40 dollar 32 gb ram stick please find me (my computer will blow up) before rebirth comes out (my computer will blow up regardless) like watch the requirements be some esoteric classified government only processor like the ryzen 56 or intel i5412 like u gotta play it on one of those government super computers so the game doesnt lag the minute you start walking.
ok im done ive exhausted myself thank u for coming to my ted talk see u later my little minions
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demise-seems-dead · 11 months ago
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@askingkyborg 's main here to bring you some depressing chip mini fic time because im dying
SPOILERS FOR EPISODES 32-34 AND TW FOR suicidal ideation, self harm, and some mentions of blood.
chip in todays ep was so insane for me i just i couldn't resist.
Mathidle hasn't felt a lot of warmth in their after life, and that's alright. The thing about ghosts is that they feel in opposition to a human. When you're alive, you get a spring to your step. You feel the kisses of the sun bead down over your eyelashes. The wind stirs hunger in your stomach and you fight against it in a little human battle. Your hands get warm when you work for too long, calluses thrumming with your pulse and very very warm. Mathilde knows this to be true.
They don't remember holding a lot of hands, but they remember the feeling, maybe due to its stark contrast to know. When a person is very alive, their hands get warm, and when they are dead and gone, their hands grow cold. And thus for ghosts it works the opposite. When alive hands are as cold as frosty knives but when on the brink of death their hands would be ever so warm. 
Ellgas hands were moderately warm. Not technically undead but having lived multiple life spans she grew warm. With Barney it was impossible to tell. Sometimes his hands felt hot, other times too cold. Hard to discern. By way of logic Chips hands are the coldest of course. Being the youngest of the party somehow, and pretty physically adept, he was the most alive of them all, and thus the coldest. Mathilde can't touch the tieflings hands without a shiver climbing up his non corporeal body. 
That's what made today so different. Chip’s are blazing warm. 
They’d been giving blood to the vanian worker in exchange for currency. Mathilde put themselves close to the brink of death, but for good reason. There is a ghost after all, dying again would be a stunt and a half. Their body has started to float, and their items are starting to slowly fade through their body as he inches closer to full spirit than not. It's not as if they enjoy it, but the familiar tickle isn't a bad thing. 
From beside them a sharp gasp comes from Barney's throat. A head turn shows chip loading up his crossbow, using the cocking stirrup and his foot to slide the bolt back with ease. Its a weird action for someone who had initially seemed hesitant to donate any blood at all. Mathilde raises an eyebrow just as the purple tiefling points the crossbow down at his foot and shoots. A shot of blood stains the white of his shoe and he noticeably grimaces. JJ mews from beside mathilde, circling where his feet are dangling. Mathilde knows kittens know when people are close to passing on, and especially a ghost cat. Mathilde bends a bit to scratch her tiny little grey head to let her know they're okay. It's weird knowing you're close to dying, but as a ghost it doesn't hurt, so it's a bit easier. Another crossbow bolt is shot, and JJ’s ears flatten down a little. 
Mathilde looks back up towards chip. A fuzzy outline is starting to show on him, blue and purple swirly. His face is tight and screwed up, nose pressed into grooves and eyes watering. They can hear a crack of barney's voice, like he's about to say something but pauses. The old man's brow furrows. The teller behind the counter starts counting out money softly, and chip moves in a quick motion. Mathilde momentarily thinks he's putting it away, but after a moment it's drawn, but up by his head. 
“Mon ami, maybe be a little bit more careful w-” Mathilde doesn't finish their thought before the bolt is wedged in chip's neck. It drips a long red string, and mathilde can see ellga lick her lips ever so slightly, but does not ignore the slight worry in her brows. 
Mathilde knows Chip can't take many more shots. Three if he was lucky. Yet it doesn't stop him from moving again. Mathilde closes their eyes as he hears the loading noise, and with the shot the blurry ghost-like outline grows stronger, the purple colour bloombing out more. Another shot. That makes five. He can only take one more. JJ is meowing at the tiefling, who's struggling to stand, blood dripping out of his mouth and leaned over the counter. The clerk seems unphased. 
Mathilde closes their eyes again, and sees a new colour. A soft green pushing the blue and the purple away in the dark. Instinctually, as the light brightens, mathilde opens their eyes. Chip is shuttering audibly, eyes lazing open and shut as he braces.
“Carols gone, what else is there to lose…?” JJ bats at chip’s leg, as if in an effort to stop him. Mathildes face stiffens  at the assassin's comment, and they gently wrap an arm around chip, protectively surrounding him with his wings. 
“Alright, I think that's enough. We’ve got plenty of spending money, right chip?” “...Spendin’ money… r-right, right yeah! Were, were rich!” The brunette moves to pick up his currency and his fingers fumble uselessly, eyes lidded slightly. Mathilde makes their hands noncorporeal and gently scoots the coins to his hands without him noticing, not to make him feel coddled. The alchemist shoots a look over his shoulder at mathilde, and mathilde nods back. The mood remains a bit darker and dreary, but chip seems somewhat stable. Mathilde takes his hand gently. The tieflings hands are warm as can be, and it makes a flood of warmth come over mathilde themselves. 
Weirdly, if just for a moment, he feels a second hand reach over theirs. They close their eyes and see a ghostly outline of a tiefling woman, her hand over yours and chips. She presses a finger to her lips and gives a soft but saddened smile. She mouths to them gently.
“Don't let him down this path, mathilde…” A ghostly wiz-consinite voice whispers in their head. He opens his eyes again to see chip leaning down, smiling at a photo in his hand. Mathilde smiles softly.
“I'm glad she's watching over you, my friend.” they say even though the rogue will likely forget his words from the blood loss. He nods and smiles a bit more. 
“‘M glad too, mathilde…” 
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bcbdrums · 9 months ago
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Mad Angry, Mad Crazy
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
LOL @legendary-guest is that you?? You usually ask off anon though, haha.
(Ask is from this lovely list.)
Okay, so... Only one person knows about this I think but there was in fact...a darker version of this fic. (Some spoilers ahead if you've not read that fic yet, so maybe stop here if you don't want any. It's a dark fic, FYI.)
The majority of changes began in the chapter where Drakken finds Shego on the beach. Originally she's much more paranoid, much more frightened, and far weaker, physically. The fainting situation is more dire... And the hospital visit is FAR more dire. Drakken isn't present as much for the exam/questioning, and Shego is far more dissociated from reality... Unable to process and answer some of the questions due to her own paranoid and fearful thoughts demanding her full attention. It was much more strongly implied that the examining doctor suspected Drakken of various abuses against her. Drakken's part in the exam was different as a result, the questions being more blunt and the doctor more angry, when he was later present. It seemed pretty clear by the end of that scene that Shego was mentally unfit to make decisions for herself. That chapter was going to end with her practically being coerced into admitting herself to a psych ward. Which then would have set off another dozen chapters that were only partially planned in my head, but never written. Oh, and the water rescue scene before the time-skip was darker as well, with Drakken being less obviously there to help her and Shego being far more afraid of him/his actions, to the point of almost not accepting rescue; I kept his motivations and his thoughts far more obscure in that scene.
Why did I soften the entire thing and not go the darker route? A friend/beta advised me that it was too dark, and that the entire story felt anti-shippy. And in fact it was this very fic that caused that person to stop reading fics other than their own, except for rare exceptions.
Heh, and the published fic as it is today apparently is still so dark it caused people to form a chat "support group" to deal with how severely the fic impacted them, and nearly every person in that group couldn't even finish reading it, it was that bad. I'm glad the story has a couple of strong fans to reassure me of its worth.
No, the darker version doesn't exist anymore. Rather than save it as a separate file I just deleted and rewrote to severely soften the whole thing from the water rescue onward. And I do mean severely...
I have regrets... I wish I'd saved the darker version. It was the best version of psychosis I've ever written and I wish I had it to study now, for other projects. I don't regret how the story ended; it would have always ended there, even if it had gone through another dozen chapters of anguish on both characters' parts... The journey to get to the end just would have been a lot different and more arduous. And I do regret that this story caused someone to stop reading fanfic.
But I'll never regret what I published. I love writing angst, I love writing suspense. I love writing for that episode because it's what got me thinking about shipping Drakken and Shego in the first place, and I love the finished product.
Thank you truly, anon, for this ask.
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welcome-to-the-end-of-eras · 10 months ago
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Live Reading: The Mars House by Natasha Pulley
Some initial (spoiler-free) observations for now:
1.) desperately missing the style of publication from twofs and tbs, book covers that come off are my biggest opp
2.) Edward Cullen lookin ass cover I kinda love it
3.) absolutely love the fact that The Bedlam Stacks is officially part of the Watchmaker series even though Mori is in like 3 scenes, he’s so powerful
Off the bat, it's really interesting to see the way January interacts with what is our present like it's something ancient. The way he describes the "ruins" of London and various places around that people today may even live in, as if it's centuries old. Idk what year this takes place in but I feel like it's going to be like 2030 or some shit lmao
I already read the leaked chapter so I'm just going to skip it, all in all though I like January so far. He's a little less...I don't want to say compelling, but he doesn't have as much of a distinctive personality off the bat as Valery or even Flint, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Plus he's like. Actively in crisis, so I'm going to give him a pass
He does have the gen Z tendency for nihilism tho, moreso than the other mc's, and I really like it
Oh wait no he's not even gen Z he's like. Gen Theta??? This is farther into the future than I thought, which is good bc it was a lil depressing to think it was this close to the present and everything was flooded (I mean we're still boned but I was expecting the time period to be like. A very likely 2027 or something.)
I honestly really like the way January isn't content with the small things in his life that make him miserable like the other mc's. He's a Complainer. He's literally me-
"It was fine as icing sugar." ??? Girl are we getting some freaky future ghost shit again??? Please???
I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T-
MORI AND DAUGHTER??? I'M GOING TO PASS AWAY-
I will be crying about this forever
Six taking over the shop but keeping her dad's name attatched...BEING CANON??? We STAY winning
"There are moments when you come so close to another future you can taste the air in the courtroom." GIRL SHUT THE FUCK UP RESPECTFULLY I'M ABOUT TO START SCREAMING-
Wait these exoskeleton things sound cool as fuck, I wonder how hard it would be to make one for cosplay purposes??? Probably pretty tricky (and knowing myself I would never finish it) but it still seems really fun to make
Damn he's really scared of not wearing that thing, my poor baby :((( ugh I really do like him a lot so far
Ohhh wait I thought wearing the suit was to protect him, not to protect others??? I misread
But he's still really that scared of hurting anyone else :((( he's my baby I've decided
I feel like I'm not going to like Gale much off the bat bc they're going to be rude to him, but I'm sure I'll grow to like them more. I mean I didn't much care for Shenkov off the bat but I adore him now so
Not to get Prentious-English-Major-y, but it seems like a running theme in this book is getting over the shame of taking up space in the world. January is constantly being reminded that he needs to stay in his place and not cause trouble for others, and it's so engrained into him that he can't help but panic over a simple mistake that could've been corrected with a gentle warning. But it also wasn't a gentle warning; the guy in the elevator fucking yelled at him!!! Immediately!!! I get the notion that it was a matter of safety for him, but January was far away from and couldn't have possibly hurt him, and he still yelled. Coming from the lense of a queer man, it's very reflective of the homophobic idea that queer people can't even be trusted in public because they're "sexual deviants" and the like, or even going back to the 80s when people thought that AIDS was transmitted through just skin-to-skin contact. Idk. Food for thought.
Honestly??? The way his thoughts keep circling back to the way everyone was horrified of him on the elevator is the most accurate way I've ever seen someone describe anxiety attacks
What tf is up with the pink elephants??? New tattoo idea just dropped???
Ooo interesting monetary system for the trains. I went into Boston to get my copy and they started doing a similar thing on the green line (the only train system that runs above ground, so they can't really stop people from not paying to get on) and it kind of reminds me of that. It's definitely not that similar, but it's enough that I made the connection
Creepy Government Programs Meant To Completely Cripple Minorities Just So They Can Access Slightly Worse Basic Rights They Should Already Have...totally not realistic...haha...not at all...
Only a year??? January...buddy...you've been here for 600 days...
Oh wait no I just looked it up, a year on Mars is actually about 687 days, nvm, fuck me I guess
The whole conundrum of naturalizing vs just using the cage is vvv interesting, and is also reminiscent of the way disabled people are encouraged by society (and warned by medical professionals) to undergo drastic surgeries to cure their disability
Damn so going on the train cost him a half hour of work??? That's kinda nuts. Although if it's a longer distance train it's not as bad, but it seems like it just went from one part of the city to the other
Oh??? Hello??? He has a crush on his boss??? Honestly she sounds like a milf I don't blame him-
I feel like the release button of his suit being over his heart is going to be important and dramatic and it's going to make me cry
Idk how to word this properly but like. January being motivated to eat more and train for ballet again bc he's just overall happier with Gale may just (happily) destroy me, the same way tlfop describes Thaniel getting a lot stronger over the course of four years bc he's eating more and started boxing and that, but I feel like it'll be different bc him being married to Gale will offer him the privilege to do that kind of thing while others aren't awarded the freedom
The group physical therapy before work is kinda nuts, we should honestly do that at my job too
Honestly the way they're describing these work suits is kind of a serve, especially with the cool skeleton lookin thing around it, that would make such a fun cosplay
Senator Gale in the mix too!!! Vvv excited, even though I know January is going to do some fuckshit on tv with them
I KNOW January is pretty af I know it in my soul
"Great power to be had from ogling." I'm love Val sm-
Love that she included how to pronounce Mx bc it always throws me for a loop. Also...McWang??? Girl-
I really do not know what I expected from the woman who managed to get the word "octopussy" in three of her books
"...so that he wouldn't think about how much he would have loved to see someone shove Audrey bloody Gale off a cooling tower." DAWG-
He really fuckin hates them wow, their public persona must suck
Oh also random thought I forgot to include a bit earlier, but is it like. Genuinely illegal to assume people's gender in this society??? That's kinda based actually. Fox News would have a field day. "ThIs Is CoNfIrMaTiOn Of ThE fUtUrE tHeSe LiBeRaLs ArE lOoKiNg FoR." Ugh I hope someone shows them, that would be fucking hilarious (obviously no one should tho bc I sincerely believe there are some idiotic people who would start sending Natasha death threats over it and I don't want that).
"...and do everyone a favour by turning immediately into goo." Jesus fucking Christ dude-
I hope January beats the shit out of some of these people I really do-
Hehe puffweens
Ooo the Mars citizens fashion seems fun
"Thirteen year olds were, of course, terrifying monsters..." thirteen year olds are extremely lame when you get to know them but I do get the anxiety (I say as someone who worked with them for over 5 years)
He doesn't want to scare anyone :(((
First he's comparing Gale to the devil, and now he's saying they look like a god??? Make up your mind dude
"He followed the news like a bloodhound when it came to Gale." My good bitch you are so definitely into them-
The fact that Val has to bribe January with chocolate to not throw a brick at Gale is so...I'm love them so much
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hoshiina · 11 months ago
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pairing: kuroda yukinari x gn!reader (no prns)
summary: you are a manager of the Sohoku team and he's a member of the Hakogaku team— the two of you are not meant to be
warnings: spoilers of the second inter-high
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The two of you were not meant to be. The gods had not meant for you to get together, and the world did not lend a helping hand either. You were a year younger than him, a manager of the Souhoku road race team, and he was a member of the Hakone Academy road race team. It wasn't meant to work out.
However, there was no way for you to not fall in love. Not when he was the one you weren't allowed to fall for.
You could never forget, it was your second year at the inter-high as a manager, but it was particularly busy. Maybe it had to do with the fact that it was the first day with all the nerves, or maybe it was the fact that it was really, really hot that day and you failed to realize. However, you fainted while carrying drinks back to your team's tent after most members had crossed the goal for that day. It was a horrible time and place to faint as well— you were avoiding the main walkways and trying to walk under the trees behind the tents to get as much shade as possible, and it was a little after the main bulk of people had left. You were unaware of everything that happened after, but you later hear that Kuroda had been the one to carry you back to your team's tent. Apparently, he had gotten patched up and wanted to try walking to see how his condition was. He was covered in bandages and with an injured arm and leg, he still carried you all the way back, after finishing the first part of a race.
By the time you were up, he was already long gone, but the idea of him doing that for you was enough for you to run out to try to find him. You had no luck that time, as they had already moved to their hotel, but Onoda kindly asked Manami where they were staying for you, as you seemed so hung up on it.
You had roughly a minute, maybe a little more to talk to him, but that was about it. You didn't wish to either, he had a race tomorrow and he had wounds to heal. The fact that he came down to meet you was more than enough for you.
"Thank you so much for earlier today, I heard from everyone else," you said, bowing deep.
"Oh, stop that. It's all good, I'm glad you're up," he said. "Feeling better?"
"Yes, I feel great now, thank you," you said. His bandages looked horrible. "I can't believe you did this for me when your injuries are..."
Then he laughs. You didn't think he was one to laugh. "I was skeptical too... but you were super light and I was glad to know that my arm's still fine," he said, but you knew he was being nice and acting strong. There was no way it wasn't tough.
"Oh, I won't keep you for too long, I'll get in trouble if I bother an athlete before a race any more than I already have," you said with a smile. "Again, thank you so much for today. It really meant the world to me."
Slowly you walked away to leave so he felt comfortable to walk back in. At the time, you thought he was being kind as he watched you walk back, but in reality, he was subconsciously mesmerized by your smile.
You did not get another chance to talk to him that inter-high, but you were always watching him. When he finished the race, when he was on the podium. Everytime he was in your field of vision, you noticed your eyes would follow him. Later, you would greatly regret not talking to him more, but at the moment all you could do was stare.
Months went by and you felt silly after realizing just how much you still thought about him. You couldn't forget him and somehow your feelings only continued to grow, but there was nothing much you could do about it. You didn't know anyone in Hakone Academy directly, and you really didn't feel like asking one of your teammates to ask their friend for Kuroda's contact. Not to mention, he was a third year so you couldn't count on next year's inter-high either.
However, that was alright, because you hadn't expected anything from this to begin with. It was just your one-sided feelings that no one would ever find out about, and that was okay with you. It's not that you were going to give up, but rather that you didn't expect much to begin with. You were more than happy to continue to harbor these feelings, especially while they weren't in the way of anyone else. One day they were bound to disappear.
But like fate, a week later Kinjou had come to visit a practice and he had brought Arakita with him for fun. The entire team was thrilled to see Kinjou again as he helped them train some more, and Arakita watched around as he complained, explaining that he didn't want to be here at all. Apparently he wasn't going to go around helping a former rival team practice either, which was actually a very fair reason.
You knew it was rude and you were very intimidated by Arakita, but all you could think of since he arrived was Kuroda's contact. He must know— and you wanted to know so badly. Was that the right decision though? Shouldn't you just give up and let it go instead? No, you had regretted not talking to him more before and this was your first chance after months. You would be so dumb to let it go just like that.
So just before he was about to leave, you called to him, insanely nervous.
"Arakita-san," you said and he looked back.
"Hah? Oh, the manager?" he asked and you nodded. "Have we talked before?"
"N-no," you said. "So I realize this is terribly strange for me to ask, but could I um..."
"Oh, just spit it out."
"Would you be able to tell me Kuroda-san's contact?" you said very quickly and quietly. Your eyes were glued to the floor and you were too embarrassed to look up.
Immediately after you heard laughter and you were unsure how to react. You didn't think he would laugh at you.
"Is this what I think it is?" He said, far more amused now than he was the entire time he was here. You didn't say anything but it must've shown on your face because he continued to go on. "When did Kuroda find himself a cute little crush?"
"No, it's not him, it's me," you said. "Actually, he probably doesn't remember me..."
"Oh, he's rude and annoying but give him a little more credit than that. If he did something that would make you fall for him, I'm sure that he must remember. He's not one to do nice things, let alone charm people," he said. "And I think you should ask him yourself, rather."
"No, he was very nice! For him to carry someone he didn't know back while... hold on what?"
He had turned his phone on and called a contact named Kuroda.
"Oh, gosh, please don't give it to me. I don't know what to say," you said.
"What do you mean! You were the one who wanted his—" he started to say but he was cut off by a voice from the phone.
"Arakita-san? How rare for you to call," you could hear the voice say faintly. "Did something happen? I'm going to get back to practice soon so if you could be quick..."
It was him. It was Kuroda. The voice you wanted to hear for the past few months was so close and no longer just in your head.
"No, if he's busy then it's okay," you whispered frantically. At this rate his only impression of you is going to be bothersome.
"Why are you suddenly a wimp now considering you were able to come ask me before?" Arakita asked.
"Hmm? What are you talking about?" Kuroda asked from the phone. "A wimp?"
"Oh, my bad, my bad," Arakita replied to him. "Not you. I'm actually at Sohoku right now."
"What? Sohoku? Why?" Kuroda asked, confused. "Oh, then can you see if their managers are okay? One of them fainted during the inter-high a couple of months ago."
Your eyes widened, absolutely shocked. He remembered. He cared. Arakita looked over at you and your face said all he needed to know. Kuroda was talking about you.
"Kuroda-chan are you in love..." he teased and you genuinely thought it was over.
"Oh, shut up," Kuroda replied quietly, and unfortunately you couldn't hear. "What if someone hears you!"
Arakita immediately started to laugh and you heard a faint 'shut up, stop laughing!' from the phone. "Here," Arakita said, passing you the phone. "Your turn."
Shocked you quickly took the phone.
"What? Who's turn? Was someone listening??" Kuroda asked, terribly confused and panicking slightly.
"Um, hello. I'm the one who collapsed at the inter-high who you helped," you said carefully.
"Oh gosh, were you listening?" he asked.
"Sorry, I could hear... Not the last part though!" you said and he sighed, relieved.
"Thank goodness," he said. You were confused and curious, but you had something else to ask.
"I asked Arakita-san for your um... contact... and he kindly called you so I could ask you myself. So would it be alright for me to ask you..." you started to say.
"Of course!" Kuroda replied a little too quickly and enthusiastically, which he beated himself up for seconds later. "I mean, I would love to have your contact as well, if that's okay."
And that was the start. The two of you had many more obstacles to simply get to know each other, but he was the one for you, and you were the one for him.
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thatfangirlofsb · 2 years ago
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A/N: Hi, I'm back with another grishaverse fanfic. This time it will be about the zoyalai.
This one will be longer than the last one, so be prepared.
T/W: Spoilers of Rule of wolves.
"Zoya decides to fix the wedding that Nikolai and the shu decided to botch, but will she be able to do it without breaking down?"
Moya tsaritsa (I)
"And now I find it out?" The fury could be heard clearly in her voice even at the other end of the table, where Nikolai was happy to be separated from her thanks to all the people who were sitting around the long piece of wood.
Nikolai couldn't have been happier when everything went according to plan, but all that happiness crashed down when a very angry Zoya walked into the meeting room with her fists clenched.
"Over my age-wrinkled corpse, Nikolai." She said placing her palms on the table with such force that the wood trembled slightly at her touch. "And I remind you that the grisha live longer and take us a while to get old."
She was tempted to throw a blast of air at him that would put him against the wall and knock him unconscious for a few minutes, but she quickly forgot that idea. She was going to keep yelling at him, but when she felt the air gathering around her she turned and got out of there toward her room. Thanks Nikolai, today I won't be able to rest after the trip because of all the work I have to do, she thought before occupying her mind with solutions to the big problem that a certain blond had caused.
—————
"Was there a tornado or just an angry squaller?" Nikolai asked entering Zoya's room and closing the door when both of his feet had already crossed the threshold.
"Was there a stupid king or was it just you on your good days?" Zoya said, picking up all the papers that had been scattered on the cold floor after her blow of fury every time she began to write the apology letters.
She was angry, very angry. So as soon as the door of her room closed behind her, she unleashed her power without control between those four walls, causing all her order to disappear.
All because of that stupid boy with the lopsided smile that often made her want punch it away. But later, when she remembered who he was and what could happen to her, her thoughts became only dreams. Dreams that she prayed she had instead of all the nightmares that tormented her at night.
"Are you here to seek your death or just to work to fix it?" The grisha lifted and leaned against her desk, folding her arms as her cold gaze settled on the king. "I can make it look like an accident, so don't provoke me."
"I missed you… the whole palace missed you." His voice trembled slightly and he looked down at the ground trying to avoid his gaze. "I was wondering if..."
"If I want to blow you out of my room? Yes." She answered drily, looking over the papers she had already picked and placed on the desk for later ordering. "I'll tell you two things Nikolai. First, this wedding is going to happen and I don't care that you've had a fever and your brain has switched into some selfish version of itself. And second, you're not fleeing this room until the last letter signed by your handwriting is finished."
"Understood."
It was going to be a very long day, extremely long.
—————
"Congratulations Zoya, thanks to you now my hand will fall off."
The last letter had already been enveloped and placed on the pile to Nikolai's right. His hand was certainly tired, but not to the point of falling. Despite Zoya's words, she had also written several letters. Probably more than him, because her pile was taller than the opponent's one. But she wasn't going to complain, they were doing all of this for Ravka.
"If you hadn't messed up the wedding this wouldn't be happening." A sigh escaped her lips, and Nikolai couldn't help but notice as his gaze landed on them. "Why Nikolai?"
The blond was so engrossed looking at her that it took him a while to react. He could blame exhaustion out loud, but he actually knew that the principal point of all the trouble he had caused was a certain general standing by his side; too close.
"Can't a king mess things up?" He asked as he stood up and stretched his limbs. Most of the candles had blown out on their own, and the room was lit only by the moon and a few candles that were about to follow the same path as the others.
"Yes, but not you." Zoya turned on her own chair to look at his face, feeling her heart clench as she saw his face lighted from the side by the moon. No, she couldn't think that. Only Ravka had to be in her mind. "We both know that what you've done is bad for Ravka, and you never do anything bad for your kingdom no matter the outcome. Why?"
Why? I don't know either, but I know it has to do with you. With your beautiful blue eyes, your long black hair, your bravery, your devotion to Ravka, your mask to hide what you really feel... You, you are the culprit, Nikolai thought before shaking his head from side to side. He couldn't, he couldn't say that. Not now.
"Are you so tired that you are speechless?" Zoya's cold voice brought him back to reality, to a reality where he had to think of an answer as fast as his brain could. "Nikolai, say it or I'll have to force it out of you."
"I just was thinking." It was true, but he didn't want to tell her in what. "Zoya... have you ever wondered what you would do if you weren't you?"
"If I wasn't me?" Nikolai's question surprised her. What would do if she wasn't her? What was he talking about? Not being a grisha, not being the general of the second army, not being part of that friendship between the two of them... He could refer to so many things with those words. "I would be a very famous thief, and I would have already stolen your crown and your Lantsov emerald. I would rule Ravka with an iron fist and use you as a footrest."
Small smiles appeared on the faces of them, it seemed that Zoya's anger had largely disappeared.
"I would be honored to hold your beautiful feets, moya tsaritsa." He told her making a little bow, very dramatic for Zoya's liking.
"I could get used to that." She stretched out slightly her legs, looking at him teasingly and then crossing them over each other again.
"To what? To be queen?" He crossed his arms with his typical smirk, pulling his chair closer to her and sitting on it. "I can fix it if that's your wish."
"Are you sure? You know of any son of the queen of Shu Han who is planning to kill their entire family so he could become king?"
"Shu Han? Why?" His lips curved down, trying to appear devastated by her teasing. He hoped that her words were just that, a simple joke.
"I've had enough of the Ravkans. They are…not tolerable." Her gaze settled on him, and a slight smile with which she showed her teeths made Nikolai feel like his skin melted with that look; his heart had already succumbed long ago.
"I hope I don't have to take that accusation personally." He got up again and turned around, approaching the map that was hung on the wall. He bordered with his fingers the ravkan frontier that adjoined the shu, soon he would have to see how that country returned to bring a princess to Ravka. "I would be at sea, but then I would settle somewhere far away from the coast." He watched Zoya's smile give way to doubt, so he decided to speak. "I know you're not interested, but you could have at least asked. It's called manners."
"It wasn't that." The grisha's hands groped for the glass that rested empty next to her, only a slight aroma remained of the brandy that had been in it before. "It amazes me that you, the great Sturmhond, decide at some point in your life to settle. And far away from your beloved sea, no less. Do you have fever?"
He don't have it. But if the desire to leave everything just to be with the person he loved could be called that... yes, he has it.
"The wedding may have made me sick." He laughed as he observed Zoya's incredulous look, it was funny to see how she got annoyed with him but at the same time tried to contain herself. Playing with the death was one of his favorite hobbies.
"What wedding Nikolai? The one that did you dream about?" Her arms crossed and she blew out a small sigh before picking up the kefta from the back of her seat and got up to put it away in her closet.
"Genya and David's one." He said following her with his eyes without missing any of her movements. "It was beautiful, I would say one of the best weddings I have ever seen."
The two were silent for a long time. Although they had started with jokes and little games, remember what had happened that fatal day brought them back to reality. They stopped being Sturmhond and a queen with a human footrest and became Nikolai Lantsov and Zoya Nazyalensky again.
"Come on, it's time." She said quickly trying to change the subject so she wouldn't break down. Zoya walked briskly towards her bedroom door and placed her hand on the knob. "I have to chain a king."
"You don't know how long I was waiting for hear that."
—————
You can read the second part here.
You can read the third part here.
You can read the fourth part here.
You can read the fifth part here.
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sobredunia · 10 months ago
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i come bearing another tale from identity v history. this is something that happened while i was taking a break from the game, so i wasn't aware of it until later, but it's still legendary.
uhhh warning for possible spoilers for the promised neverland???? i don't go into plot details or anything bc honestly i haven't read this far yet but it does involve characters who aren't present at the start of the series so yeah.
so identity v announces a crossover with the promised neverland. the crossover is... relatively successful, with some nice skins, fun events both in-game and on social media, and generally it just goes over well. fans of tpn are happy, though some of the choices for who gets what costume were a little baffling (though that may just be me lmao).
later that year, news breaks of a second part to the crossover. it's based on the sorta second part of the manga, with characters introduced later getting skins (while skins from the first part of the crossover also return). the skins are all revealed, and it turns out we're getting skins of the characters sonju, zazie, mujika, and peter ratri.
sonju, zazie, and mujika look... fine!! in fact, i'd say they even look good!! it's clear the designers paid a lot of attention to details and they're honestly among my favourite crossover skins. faithful, pretty, fitting for the original characters' models, basically what a crossover skin should be.
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so, what about peter?? surely he, too, got a good, faithful costume, right??
well...
this was his poster.
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now this was. an unpleasant reveal. why is he making that face?? he looked... goofy. why?? what happened?? how did whoever was doing the art for this manage to make such good art for the rest of these skins for both the first and second parts of the crossover and then drop the ball on a skin for a character who was likely meant to look attractive / pretty??
a lot of people were disappointed, but we hoped he would maybe look better in-game. after all, we've been deceived by art before; hopefully this would be one of those times.
well, uh... he looked like this.
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yeah. possibly worse than the poster.
he became the fucking laughingstock of the fandom overnight. no, that's literally what he's referred to on his wiki page. the laughingstock of the fandom. everyone was clowning on this man. and the memes never really went away, if the fact that now, two and a half years later, someone fucking changed the official idv discord server's picture to the mascot of the game with his face superimposed onto her. he came out in late 2021 and we are still making fun of him.
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there was never any change to his model as far as i know. they just dropped him and left. idk if they expected us to eat it up anyway, if they were just too ashamed to really ever touch him again, or if they thought he couldn't be fixed so they just abandoned him. dropped him and let us rip him to shreds.
this is the only tpn skin i have never seen in-game. i've encountered every other skin, i even have emma. but i have never seen anyone, not in competitive play, not on streams, not in my own gameplay, use the peter ratri skin. he exists only for us to bully.
that's it for your idv history lesson for today. i'll finish this off with some of my favourite comments on his wiki page, because just scrolling through them is actually really fun lmao
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I'M CRYING THIS IS SO FUNNY HELP??? UGLY RAT BASTARD MAN MOCKED BY EVERYONE EVER
Also why do the other skins have six fingers I'm???
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tvrningout-a · 2 years ago
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ISSA MEME FROM A WHOLE BLOG AGO | @sozokami gets an old meme response!
i think the prompt was something like " your muse wipes my muse's tears. " i happened to think about this response today and went searching for it in the drafts of my old blog! at the time i started writing it, it got so long to the point that i had no idea how to end it, so i saved it for later... and then i went on hiatus and moved blogs asdf well, i hope you enjoy it, space! i couldn't just keep it to myself after re-reading it :' ) to anyone else reading, major spoilers lie ahead if you haven't read the entirety of the kny manga!
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     suma knew victory wouldn’t come cheap. she knew her family was lucky to have come out of the corps alive albeit a little roughed up. but they’re together nonetheless -- even as they wait for the sun to rise, even as they wait to hear news of muzan’s demise ( because suma refuses to think for a second that he’ll defeat the slayers this time ), the uzui family is together, and that is something of a miracle.
     the kami only have so many miracles to give.
     suma knew to expect heartbreak after the initial rush of triumph and relief, but there had been a part of her that remained hopeful that most of their comrades would come home banged up but breathing. she remembers an aunt once telling her hope breeds despair, that it is better to expect the worst than to be crushed by disappointment. as a kid, she thought it was a very pessimistic way to view the world and refused to take those words to heart. now, suma understands. 
     she cries a lot during the weeks following muzan’s defeat, and the retired kunoichi feels guilty each time because the others keep themselves together much better than suma can. they don’t ignore their grief, of course, and they all share their regrets ( words they should have told someone, a trip they promised another but never did get around to, missed opportunities they can never get back ), yet suma wonders if consoling her doesn’t become a little taxing. she’s always felt so deeply -- it isn’t easy to stop the tears once they start, nor is it easy to hold them back. to console her when they’ve all lost their friends... well, isn’t it a little unfair to her spouses?
      so suma tries to keep her tears to herself, at least for a little while, until she doesn’t feel so sad when hinatsuru makes sakura mochi or when she sees a butterfly in the garden. as it would turn out, though, suma isn’t very good at hiding things from her spouses. in fact, she’s horrible at it, and the only reason they leave her be for a time is to see if she simply needs to be alone. but it’s hard, and eventually tengen has enough of waiting. to suffer alone and in silence isn’t suma’s way at all.
     when he finds her, she’s holding a garden snake ( who would very well bite the kunoichi were it not for her careful grip of its head ) and openly weeping... but quietly. her bottom lip is caught between her teeth, looking rather red from the amount of pressure, and tengen calls her name only to startle suma bad enough that she loosens her hold on the snake.
     she has a new reason to cry then, as the moment it has a little leeway, the garden snake bites suma’s hand. 
     after a lot of wailing and careful prying of fangs out of flesh, suma sniffles as tengen carefully tends to her injury. she watches his large hand so delicately clean her wound, feeling warmth blossom in her chest that helps ease the pain. why was she holding a snake? he asks. because a bird was eyeing it, she replies. her husband hums and finishes wrapping a bandage around the bite.
     his magenta gaze rises to meet her eyes, soft yet firm when he finally asks, “ why were you crying, then? ”
     there’s no lying to him, and truth be told, suma really doesn’t want to. tears spring to her already puffy eyes. “...it made me think of iguro-san. ”
     tengen is already cupping her cheek when the tears fall. his thumb brushes away the traitorous drops as suma lets loose at last, crying and crying loudly. she misses everyone, she feels sorry for not spending more time with them ( she never even knew iguro-san’s favorite color! ), and she feels so sorry for being so much when her spouses are grieving, too. she’s sorry---
" i'm sorry i'm making it harder for you all! i'm sorry i'm always crying! " she hiccups, leaning into tengen's touch despite herself. her uninjured hand clutches at the material of his yukata, squeezes and squeezes as if that might make it all more bearable. " i wish i could be stronger, but i can't! "
please, don't hate her for it.
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gottabedramatic · 8 months ago
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I AM BACK AND I AM IN PIECES
How am I supposed to move on from Lovely Runner? HOW?????
I just watched the last episode. Yes, I couldn't help myself and binge watched this drama in smaller portions – 10 episodes are out? I watched 8 in 2 days (actually I have more important thing to focus on, like my final exams coming up soon, but... it was LR. Definitely more important than studying, right?). I saved at least one episode left to watch before new episodes aired, but I gave up yesterday, watched 14th and 15th episode and then waited impatiently for the final ep today.
And I'm already considering a rewatch. I've never rewatched a new drama I just finished watching, I've never even thought about it in the first place. It didn't make a sense to watch again something I just finished, until this drama happened.
A few things about the drama (mainly Byeon Woo Seok):
Strong girl Nam Soon introduced me to Byeon Woo Seok, but when I found out his character dies in the drama, I just dropped it. I actually started it cuz I wondered if the drama would be at least half as good as Strong girl Do Bong Soon. Also for the cameo of Park Bo Young and Park Hyung Sik, and yes, they ate without leaving any crumbs, but that's about it. I really liked Woo Seok in this drama and I even posted a comment on ig's reel where I said morally gray character with good redemption arc would suit him.
I was definitely on a war with the spoilers, trying to wait until Lovely Runner finished airing. And I was utterly defeated by reels, tiktoks and yt shorts of Sun Jae being a total loser for Im Sol. The first thing from this drama that I spoiled to myself was Sun Jae's performance of 소나기/Sonaki/Sudden shower. (Btw, because the title of this song was never translated in the drama, the subs always said "sonaki", that's the only name of this song for me hahah.)
And what after I saw idol Sun Jae singing?My jaw? I had to take a walk to the Earth's core and back to pick it up. Byeon Woo Seok's voice was engraved in my mind in that very moment and this song is living there rent free for the rest of my life. I can't even speak Korean but I got the pronunciation of a few words from the song only by listening to it in the drama and now I'm singing along every time I hear it. And the meaning, the translation?????? If you can hear someone crying in the corner of whatever room or space you're in, that is me bawling my eyes out because of it.
Okay, now about the story (although I could talk about Sun Jae or Woo Seok all the time):
There were a few things I loved about this drama. First and foremost, the main leads devotion to each other. The number of scenes they had together. And the whole plot going around loser-love at first sight and selfless love that defies time and space? Perfect.
This drama was sometimes too hilarious. Whoever was in charge of the sense of humor department probably was one of the best comedians ever in their past life. Some scenes being funny because of Sun Jae being head over heels for Im Sol, then we have ridiculous scenes of Im Sol trying to act normal after she did something weird in front of Sun Jae. Their bickering, side characters making everything even more funny, the timing of all of these moments. The last time I laughed this much was while I watched Twinkling Watermelon. Before it, other kdrama that was as funny and memorable for its humor as LR was probably Goblin. And it makes sense since LR and Goblin have the same director (apparently, that's what reddit comment said, I'm too lazy to check hahah).
I could make even longer rant about this drama but here's the thing: rewatch never looked as temptingly as it looks now.
Also I definitely have to do an update on other dramas but I'll probably need another post for it. I got off my chest what I needed for now, and I'm going to start a rewatch or play Witcher 3 hahah (yes, I should definitely study instead of doing these things).
Dramas I'm currently watching:
A Journey to Love – 25/40 ep
My Demon – 6/16
Didn't finish yet and not sure if I ever do:
Strong girl Nam Soon – 10/12 (on hold)
18 again – probably 4/16 (and on hold)
Only for love – around 25th episode?
Want to watch, just waiting for more episodes:
Welcome to Samdalri
The Story of Park's Marriage Contract
The Last Immortal
A Good Day to be a Dog
Moon in the Day
so yeah, no tags cuz it's just for me as a reminder (for a drama slump) that in fact I have dramas I want to watch hahsha
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simplyotometrash · 3 years ago
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MC Sits in a Salt Circle pt. 2
It was requested of me, so here's the next part to this!
Brothers x gender-neutral reader
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, angst I guess? Idk I hate writing angst. I like soft and funny stuff
Warnings: Bitter, angry succubi trying to break Asmo and MC up by framing him. Nothing sexual, no cheating.
MC Sitting in a Salt Circle Until They Apologize (younger brothers)
The two of you had gotten into it. The two of you had gone your separate ways to recollect your thoughts and maybe talk it out later, but you were feeling beyond petty. You were willing to devote yourself to being petty. You created a circle of salt inside of your bedroom in the middle of the floor and sat down in it, a pillow in hand and your D.D.D. fully charged. You weren't planning on going anywhere either.
"MC," you heard a knock at your door, "I'm coming in."
Satan:
You and Satan rarely ever got into fights.
It wasn't much of a fight, honestly.
You two had been reading a book series together, and he read ahead to the last book. And spoiled it for you!
So you were being petty.
Was it stupid? Yes. Did you care? No.
"Alright, MC, you're being petty. I get it. I'm sorry."
You puffed and elected to ignore his apology. He was trying to placate you without even acknowledging what he had done!
"You read ahead and spoiled the ending! We were reading that series together. It was supposed to be special."
He looked down, dejected, and sighed. "I know. I got ahead of myself. I wanted to keep going and didn't wait for you. I shouldn't have done it."
"No, you shouldn't have. You're the one who usually hates spoilers and you spoiled it for me! I don't even want to finish the series anymore."
He sat down next to the salt circle and pulled out the next book in the series. "Even if I read it to you?"
You didn't reject the idea but you stayed in your salt circle for the first few chapters.
There was no hiding Satan's smile when you broke the circle and scooted in next to him around chapter six.
All wasn't totally forgiven, but you were done being petty.
Asmodeus:
Why were you mad at your doting, enthusiastic boyfriend? He was hard to get mad at most of the time.
Well, it was mostly you being bitter and jealous.
You two had gone out to a nice club, Asmo loved showing you off whenever he could. You came back from the bathroom to see him sandwiched between two succubi on the dancefloor.
You knew he'd never, ever, cheat on you, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.
"MC, can we please just talk. I've been giving you space because I know you're upset, but I don't want to end today with us being in a fight."
You couldn't resist Asmo no matter how hard you tried. His eyes looked puffy, which was abnormal, telling you that he'd been crying just like you.
"I know what it LOOKED like. I didn't want to be dancing with them, they pulled me to the floor while you were gone and pinned me there. One was even holding my hands down. They think it's "unfair" that I'm off the market, so they wanted to make you mad at me."
You sighed and hung your head, feeling quite foolish. "I'm sorry."
"No, darling, I understand why you're upset! You have every right to feel hurt. Just know, I would never hurt you. I love you far too much. They let go of my hands once you left and I ran out after you."
You dusted the salt away, breaking the circle, and you rushed into his arms. You were crying again. This time because you felt bad for jumping to conclusions.
"Hey," he cooed in your ear, holding you tight to his chest. "Don't cry, my sweetheart. We've both had too many tears. I thought you were going to leave me and I couldn't even sleep."
You went to say another apology only to be shushed.
Asmo swept you up into his arms and off of your feet.
"Asmo, what-"
"Shh, my sweet MC. We both need some special self-care and bonding time. I'm going to run us a hot bath, we'll do masks. We'll forget last night ever happened."
And you did everything he said you would and more. He wanted to erase that awful night from both of your memories.
Beelzebub:
Oh boy.
We know how Beel gets about his food being eaten, you know better than to even touch his food. He also respects you to not touch your food without permission.
Even then, you knew he couldn't help himself because of his sin. Food wasn't all he cared about, but it was hard to resist how strong the sin of gluttony affected him.
But this was about food.
So what caused this issue between the two of you?
A complete misunderstanding.
You had been getting out a really fancy pudding that you bought. It was big enough to share with Beel, which was your plan.
You left it on the counter for no more than five minutes and came back to it gone and Beel standing right there. He knew you had bought it, so you assumed he wouldn't eat it.
You were in shock, to say the least. You were very upset thinking he'd gone behind your back and eaten something he knew was yours.
"MC, I'm sorry," he said softly. He had that kicked puppy look and it broke your heart immediately.
"Why'd you eat it? I told you we were going to share it. I was really looking forward to that pudding and eating it with you."
"Eat it...? I didn't eat it. I thought you were mad at me for not stopping him."
"Wait, stopping who?" You were already out of the salt line, arms around your boyfriend in apology.
"Mammon. I came in after he finished the pudding off. I was going to tell him off, but he bolted when I walked in."
Oh, now it was on. Beel patted your head lightly, unable to stop chuckling. For once, food being eaten that was meant for you two didn't anger him. He was just glad you weren't mad at him.
"Instead of going to kill Mammon, how about we go buy a new pudding instead? I'll buy it and we can share it like you wanted."
Belphegor:
He's an easy one to have a fight with.
Not really big fights. Usually disagreements or getting frustrated.
And today was a frustration day.
You guys had at least two dates every week that took you out of the house as you spent much of your time indoors.
Belphie did not want to leave his bed. He even told you as much, saying it didn't matter if you went out because all that mattered was that you were together.
That was true, sure, but it also stung. It felt like your own feelings and what you wanted sometimes didn't matter to him.
He knew he had fucked up when you sniffled and walked away instead of responding.
"Hey." He sat down and looked at you, resting his cheek in his palm with his elbow on his knee.
"I'm sorry. I did some thinking and then talk about what happened with Beel. He scolded me for what I said to you."
"Good. You deserve it. You were being a complete ass."
"Yeah," he sighed. "I was being an ass to you. I'm sorry. I know you like it when we go out, and the fact that I was cranky from just waking up isn't an excuse for hurting your feelings. Am I allowed a second chance?"
You narrowed your eyes for a second before brushing some salt aside.
"I'm willing to be swayed for the price of some Bufo Egg Milk Tea and a movie."
He laughed and got up, extending his hand to you. "It's a date then."
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thepaintedlady00 · 2 years ago
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Oneshot: The Happiest Place on Earth
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Saw a post forever ago about what it would be like to take Dream to Disneyland and so I immediately wrote this! I was going to post it then but it contained a huge spoiler for the series so I held onto it and now that the reveal has passed this little drabble is ready for y'all to read!
TW: fluff, sarcasm, Dream hates Disneyland, just an overall cute time 🥰
"Come on Dream!" I said pulling him by the cuff of his coat. "It's the most magical place on Earth!"
Barely taking the steps forward, Dream glared up at the park and said, "I think I'd prefer another trip to Hell."
"You promised you'd do anything I wanted if I won the bet," I reminded him. "This is what I want to do."
"I did not expect you to choose something so…" He sighed, eyes sending me a displeased glare. I smirked, waiting for him to finish the words I'd once spoken after losing a bet. "Very well. I shall honor the terms of our agreement."
I smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek as I settled in beside him, no longer having to pull him along. "Thank you. Try not to look so miserable?"
"That is not part of our agreement." He said, looking down at me looking like I'd just strangled Matthew.
"Fine, pout all you like, but I'm getting my money's worth of this."
"You're insufferable," he sighed, but the fond look in his eye told me what his words really meant.
"I know."
Matthew hopped along the ground. "I can't believe you actually made this happen, Penny."
"I should thank you too, if it weren't for our original bet this would never have happened." I said recalling the events that led us to this glorious victory.
Matthew and I sat on the steps in the throne room. I was pissed. Dream sat on his throne behind us, reading, while I grumbled and twisted the threads in my fingers. "Stupid fucking slippery ass magic thread bullshit!"
"I told you," Matthew said proudly. "Can't make a raven as good as me."
"I'm not finished yet!" I insisted.
He looked at the dimly glowing lump hanging between my fingers. "I think you are."
I glared at the bird and then at the man on his throne. "If his royal highness would just give me a tiny piece of advice then maybe this would be easier!"
Dream barely reacted, just turned another page of his book. "I'm not going to meddle in your betting. It would be unfair."
"How?" I demanded. "It's not like you'd be doing it for me."
"No, but telling you how I create creatures would be giving you the answer."
"I don't think your advice is that magical Dream."
His eyebrow arched as he looked up from his page. "Then why do you need it?"
I scoffed. "I don't."
Starry eyes flicked down to the mess in my hands. "Clearly."
"Alright then. If I can make a raven without your help then you have to do anything I want."
"And if you cannot?"
"Then I'll do whatever you want."
He thought it over for a moment with a quiet hum. "Very well, little Weaver."
It took me an hour and a half to complete the dumb bird, but it was worth every second for the look on his face when I told him Disneyland was what I wanted to do today. As we walked around, looking at the scenery and large crowds I was beaming. Dream of the Endless was far less pleased.
We waited in line for one of the rides, his arms hanging at his sides and an unimpressed pout on his lips. Matthew perched close by complaining about how unfair it was. "Mr Grumpy gets to go on the rides and I'm over here forced to sit out on the fun because I'm a damn bird!"
"If I could trade places with you I would," Dream grumbled.
"Both of you shut it. Matthew I'll get you all the food you want. Dream just try to have fun? For me?" I flashed my big puppy dog eyes and the ever so slight lip pout at him, the two things I knew he couldn't resist and watched him crumble.
He sighed. "Fine."
Once we finally got strapped in he looked at the ties with a scoff. "Is this meant to protect us?"
"It's not a fight, Dream." 
"I should hope not, with so little and flimsy protection we would surely perish." He looked over at me, eyeing my own protective buckles. "Are you certain this is safe?"
With a brilliant smile I answered, "Aww, are you worried for me?"
He rolled his eyes and looked ahead. "Should you fall I'll not come to your aid."
"Yes you would," I said smugly. "You'd miss me far too much to let me fall to my death. Plus she'd kick your ass once she got here."
"She is quite fond of you." He admitted.
Once the ride began to move, Dreams arm shot across me acting as a secondary protective measure. It was thoughtful in a very Dream way. The higher we climbed the brighter his eyes seemed to grow. He was enjoying this. Every twist and turn and hang he loved. The thrill of such mortal inventions truly made him feel excited. After we got off he returned to his usual pouting, but even in his disgruntled state he didn't complain. He waited with me in every line, went on the rides with me, took pictures, all of it. 
He liked the fast rides the best, I could feel his excitement and adrenaline shuffle between us every time we reached the top of a drop or went through a tunnel, but even knowing I felt it he'd never actually admit to such a thing. The people he hated. Loathed would be a better word to describe it. At one point someone ran past him, spilling some of their drink on his boots and he nearly made everyone in the park vanish. But at the same time he watched all the children interact with their favorite princesses and heroes with a mournful joy in his eyes. 
I hadn't thought of what seeing so many kids at once would put him through. The loss of his son, though so long had passed, still haunted him. As I turned, mouth open to apologize and offer to go Dream was gone. I looked around a bit, moving through the crowd trying to locate his tall dark silhouette, but it was Matthew I saw first. As I moved closer I saw Dream, crouched down and holding the hand of a little girl dressed head to toe in a bright green dress with large fairy wings on her back. She clumsily put her shoe back on, using Dream as a support and then she turned to him with a toothy smile before running off to her parents, waving at him as they walked away.
My heart filled with the absolute want to see him interact with kids of our own one day, but above my own feelings I felt his. He hummed with a similar longing accompanied by a dull ache, a lingering thought of what he'd once had with Orpheus. He stood silently first a moment, only turning when I gently brushed my hand against his. With tearful eyes he smiled at me. "Forgive my disappearance the child fell and I helped her up."
I shrugged off his apology. "I don't mind. It was sweet of you to help her."
Dream felt the emotion in me and his smile widened. "I'll not allow abh future children of ours to suffer this hellscape of yours."
Scoffing, I rose up on the tips of my toes and slid the mouse ear head be and into his messy hair with a grin. "Hellscape? That's a bit dramatic."
"You cannot truly expect me to wear these." He sighed.
"Just for one picture, please?" I begged.
"One."
I pulled out my camera, moving in close against him and taking the picture. He looked miserable in the ears, but I adored it. "I think I'll hang this one in the throne room."
"You'll do no such thing." He warned.
"Fine, I'll just hang it on our wall then," I compromised.
"You're insufferable."
"Only for you, Dream Lord."
As the sun set and the night sky filled with fireworks, Dreamsarms wrapped around me. "Are you pleased with your victory day, my love?"
"It was perfect," I said, tilting my head up to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Thank you, Morpheus."
"A deal is a deal," he said simply. "However, in future, remind me to never let you choose this again."
"You loved it," I insisted.
"I love you." His starry eyes gleamed down at me.
I hummed, full of food and joy and contentment. "As I love you."
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mysticstrawberryphantom · 3 years ago
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KNY S2 spoilers!
Can you write a fluffy but maybe yandere! Gyutaro x f!reader? I'm so obsessed right now!!
A/N: Sorry for the wait lol I literally finished the series a few days ago. It was VERY good. I hope I did Gyutaro justice.
Warnings: Light Yandere behavior. It is only for entertainment purposes, I do not condone this behavior and if you are in a relationship like this, please reach out for help. I have resources if you can't find help with your close ones.
The groan was heard louder. It seemed to belong to a man's. For some reason he seemed to be suffering from something. 
Thrown away.
Disposed like trash by someone who was supposed to take care of you till they died. 
No, you shouldn't think like that. He only did that because there was no other way out. Mother's medical bills were too high in interest that no one in your family could live in peace. Your other four siblings still had lots of life ahead of them while you had turned 18, an old maiden. Your only saving grace being how young you looked compared to your age. 
The lady of the house bought the lie that you were 15 when your father told her. She happily parted with enough money for even a new hospital to be made, just because you could play the shamisen and koto already.
You didn't feel like you were worth so much at the moment though. 
You had been thrown into the attic with no food a few minutes ago because they had no vacant rooms just yet and it was too late for you to eat. 
At the present you were crying silently, a terrible habit you picked up at home. Terrible because everyone thought you never cried, therefore thinking you were stronger than what you really were. What was another burden more if you hadn't cried yet? 
It was suffocating.
Almost like the moist air in the attic. The air was so heavy that even the mice didn't want to move around. 
It was so silent. 
That was until you heard rustling from the farthest corner from you. 
-"Hello?" Your hoarse voice called out after a few moments of hearing the movements. It sounded like the one making the noise was either on the other side of the attic, or really stealthy. 
-"W-were you sold today too?" You tried bonding with them. 
Nothing, but the rustling became more careful, and even some muttering was carried over to your ears, though you couldn't make it out precisely.
-"HungryYy." A voice wavered around.
How frail, you thought. How parched must they be for their voice to crack so much? 
-"They left you without food too? I have something to share if you'd like."
A low groan was barely heard. 
-"Don't be shy! I hope- I hope I'm not scaring you! Please, share these star candies with me. " You kindly called out. You just didn't want to be alone all night in an unfamiliar place. 
-"Share these with me then?" You tried again.
-"I'm not sure where you are, but I'll leave some next to the shoji screen."
You finally pinpointed where the voice resided. 
-"no, NO." It began. -"Stay away." 
-"I'm sorry if I'm scaring you, but I don't mean any harm. I'm just a young girl, I can't really do much to you." Why were you being so kind to this stranger? Perhaps because you wanted them to return the sentiment.
-"I'm not scared. " He vocally pouted with a scoff at the end. -"As if I could be scared of someone so weak." 
Big, bony fingers clawed at your hand and took the candy. His hands were cold, that concerned you. You wanted to hold it to make it warmer. 
-"No. I don't feel like hearing screams today from a weakling like you. Leave me alone." 
Despite the very serious threatening tone to his words, you couldn't help but feel some tyoe of care for this stranger. What did he mean by screams? His voice could barely even stabilize itself, there's no way you were weaker than him. 
-"I'm not sure what you mean by that, but if you're not in the mood for food.. .. .. would chatting be ok?"
The shoji screen shook rapidly for a moment, leaving you to guess that the person behind the screen had either sat up or shifted his body to face you while still sitting. 
-"Chatting?"
-"If you would please. There's still many hours to the night." You softly pleaded. 
-"Hmmmmm." The stranger began in a softer tone. -"My voice doesn't bother you? It isn't comical to you??"
-"No," you shifted your legs to a different sitting position. -"Laughing or judging things that can't change are a waste of time and cruel." 
-"Yes." The man breathed out as if he had been underwater for hours. -"Yes! You're right." 
-"What's your name?"
-"Gyutaro, yours?"
His name includes the word pimp??, you thought to yourself.
-"Y/N. ... Were you born here?"
-"Did my name give it away?" He sneered. -"If you think my name is a sign of how cursed I was since birth, wait till you meet more of me." 
-"No one is innately born a curse, please don't speak of yourself that way." You oddly snapped at him, emotions welling up inside. -"Sorry, I didn't mean to speak brashly. It just breaks my heart when others speak about themselves that way." 
The shoji screen shifted once again and a silhouette of a head with a wavy half bun hairstyle peaked quickly. You couldn't see him well, since the moon was against your face, but he did. 
-"You're pretty, you can't say that. I hate that you said that now when you don't even know what it means to be born cursed." 
-"Beauty can be a curse too. I've always been treated like an object, spoken to like I was cattle. Like I don't have value other than my face. No one really cares for who you are and think it's okay to treat or touch you anyway they desire." 
-"Tch." Was all Gyutaro said for a minute. -"You're right though. The world is harsh to the ugly and the pretty. My sister, the prettiest woman out there .. … .. she's experienced what you just said, and I couldn't protect her when it happened." 
As he spoke, you stealthily made your way over and once he had finished, your right hand plopped around the screen with a few candies in your hand. 
-"I'm sorry to hear that." You softly began but quickly continued when he heard your voice so close. -"If it makes you feel better, I have my eyes closed. U-until you tell me to open them. Ple-please, help yourself."
But after hearing your groggy voice apologize so many times, he caved. 
Or perhaps you just wanted to feel someone else's hand in yours. You wanted to feel less lonely. 
-"Gyu-Gyuotaru? Would you feel okay holding my hand?" Your voice began to quiver. 
-"Don't give me orders, weak human. Who said I want your trembling hand near me."
 
You sniffled in response, trying to hold tears in. 
All you wanted was some semblance of comfort. But perhaps you were asking for too much from a stranger. 
-"S-sorry." You whispered. 
-"If you're going to cry about that- ugh!" Suddenly a lightly spotted arm appeared and grasped your right hand firmly, almost a little too hard. 
-"Th-thank you." You softly wept in gratitude.
Scoffing, he asked what your story was. 
You spilled all of it. And by the end of it, he was holding both of your hands. 
After you finished, you both sat in silence, grasping tightly each other's hands as he began with his story. 
At the end of his, right when you could feel like in an hour the sun would come up, your body felt heavy. Your head would bounce and lightly hit the screen, to which Gyutaro would scold you to be careful. 
You were then whisked away, never to be heard of in the entertainment district. Your father never looked for you, nor did your new house matron. But Gyutaro did so without fail every time you tried to return to be with humans. He'd get angry, but understood you missed them, so he was patient with you.
-"Keep your eyes closed."
-"Why?"
-"Just do it!!" He hissed. 
-"Hmm kay."
Suddenly, you were embraced and held in what felt like hefty, muscular arms of a tall man. You lay in them, coddled like a baby.
-"Do you want to leave this place and live a different life than the one handed to you?" A snake-like voice whispered into your ear. 
-"Yes." You softly responded while nuzzling into the stranger's arms. How long had it been since anyone had held you close like this? 
-"Then I'll take you away from here and take care of you until you die." His silvery breath danced around your neck with every word. 
Your eyes shot open the moment he finished speaking. 
Green. Green hair and tinted skin. Yellow, beady eyes lovingly staring into your soul, as if they were hungry. A crooked smile that could make any child cry from terror. 
-"Don't worry, if you don't want to die, you don't have to." He offered, thinking you had gotten scared from that, not the part where you'd be with a stranger for the rest of your life.
-"Now, let's go." He proudly said before hearing your response. 
-"Gyutaro!" You began to protest, scared. You went from one ownership to the next. You didn't want to be trapped with a man that you had just met!
-"I know, I'm ugly." He wailed. -"But I can tell you loved me before knowing my appearance," Gyutaro's voiced hungrily. -"Your- your hands told me so.. ...I know you can love me after seeing me... ...You do have the rest of your life to get used to it." He laughed heartily. 
He was patient and loving till the day he never came back. Leaving you as lonely as the first night you met him.
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fandomsareforlife · 2 years ago
Text
KOTLC soulmate au
So, this is the Sokam fanfic that I have been talking about for a while. It kind of just ends abruptly, but that's because I am so unmotivated to finish. I might finish it eventually, but this is the entire google doc I made of it. I also included my remaining outline, and that is definitely a rough thing. This almost a year old, so I am probably a better writer. But I know that definitely wrote somethings differently than I would today. Also, the formatting is weird since tumblr is so sorry about thatz
Also, this includes some headcanons for me including genderfluid Tam (he/they/she/xe), trans Keefe (he/him), trans Linh (she/her), and nonbinary Sophie (they/them).
So, trigger warnings. This includes things like abuse (of all kinds), violence, suicide, outing someone without permission, hiding injuries and trans/homophobia. More details under the cut. Please let me know if something needs to be tag.
Now, onto the story.
Spoilers: The trans and homophobia thing comes from a term that the lost cities uses, "moonchild," that describes any elf that is LGBTQ+, and it is not seen as a good thing. Forkle, Quan and Mai, Keefe's parents are the most prevalent. Fitz outs Sophie to Della unmaliciously, and Della outs Sophie to Forkle. Also, Tam tries to jump out of a window, but is thankfully unsuccessful.
Tam hated the stories his parents told about how they were soulmates since they were thirteen. He hated the fact that they always told him and Linh that they will never meet their soulmates.
However, that didn't stop him from hoping he had one. Even if he never met them outside of the dreams they would share, it would be nice to have someone else besides Linh to care about.
His life was a mess of thinly veiled insults and threats and comforting Linh after she was hurt.
Ancients, please send me a sign, Tam pleaded as he held Linh through another nightmare.
—-
When he was eight, Keefe had a weird dream. It started out with him being in Candleshade's foyer, a room he hated with a passion. It had one of the few paintings in his home, with a painting of him and his parents. Of course, it didn't show him the way he wanted it to but he couldn't do much about it just yet.
Looking around, Keefe became more and more confused. For one, this dream was extremely realistic, with no detail out of place. His dreams were never this detailed. They also didn't feature him in the wrong body, instead putting him in the right skin, for however long his dream lasted. For another, there were two figures sitting on a set of chairs, one blonde and another black haired. They both appeared to be wearing their pajamas.
Keefe, against his better judgment, walked up to them.
"Hi, I’m Sophie, she and her. This is Tam, he and him. He doesn't talk much,"the girl, Sophie apparently, greeted. I
The boy, Tam, next to her waved his hand shyly. They both looked to be his age. However, something was off with Sophie.
It wasn't until Keefe got closer that he realized why. She had brown eyes. She was a human.
Keefe had to stop himself from gasping. This had to be a really weird dream. While he had briefly entertained the idea of being a soulmate dream, the fact that Sophie had brown eyes removed any possibility of it from his mind.
"You have brown eyes," Keefe dumbly stated. Great going Keefe, now they will never want to be your friend, a voice taunted.
"Oh. You're from the same place Tam is from, then. Um brown eyes are common where I am from. And apparently, mansions are common here. Um, if you don't mind, what is your name and pronouns? Also do you know where we are?" Sophie, who was surprisingly mature for a human her age, responded.
"Um, my house. I'm Keefe, he and him,"Keefe stuttered. He didn't know why but he felt like he could trust these two with his deepest secret, one that he had kept in the back of his mind.
"Um I am sorry but um is this place, um are you guys real?" Tam,who up until this point had been silent.
"Um yes I am real. Although I thought dream sharing didn't start until 13?" Sophie responded.
By now, Keefe had started to get his head around the idea of this being a shared dream. Maybe an elf and a human can be soulmates. That last comment was however the cherry on top.
"Well maybe we are special," Keefe tried to comfort. He really wasn't one for comforting but he was going to try his hardest.
Luckily, that seemed to be good enough for the others, simply nodded.
After a few moments of silence, Tam asked," Can we go exploring?" in a soft voice that if Keefe wasn't listening for it he would have missed it.
"Yeah we can," Keefe responded, his voice just as gently, not wanting to frighten the boy.
——
"Mom, what does dreamsharing feel like?" a young Keefe asked his mother, who was sitting in the kitchen.
"Well, child, it felt like I was in a familiar yet completely new place all at once. It was so vivid yet I had never been there before," Lady Gisela explained, not particularly patient but she didn't snap so that was a good thing.
While Keefe occasionally has trouble differentiating between a vivid dream that was of pure imagination and one from his photographic memory, he was sure he had never seen Tam and Sophie before. Even if he had his doubts at first with Sophie's brown eyes, Keefe figured he was just special.
"I think I dream shared mom," Keefe admitted, gently putting his hand on his mother's.
"She must be so lonely that she's imagining fake friends. Pathetic," was the muttered response to his admittance. "Maybe she is too broken to be my legacy."
While Keefe couldn't completely understand the last sentence, the first shattered him. While he had a habit of making fake friends, he had never made a friend as detailed as Sophie and Tam. They were real, even if no one else believed them.
—-
A while after the first dream, about two weeks, was a second. Sophie was grateful for it, both because the noise of the thoughts people had were not existent and since she got to see her only friends.
Wow, that's sad,Sophie thought.
It wasn’t like Sophie didn’t try to get along with the other kids, but between hearing everybody's thoughts and her intelligence, it was tricky. It had been years since someone tried to be her friend. It didn’t help that she could hear their thoughts and it hurts more than it should. She was just grateful she couldn’t hear thoughts in her dreams, that would make her friendship with Tam and Keefe all the more harder.
She looked around the room she was in. It appeared to be a very luxurious home, almost as much as Keefe's. There was the same amount of crystals it seemed.
"Hi, Sophie," a small voice called out to her. Sophie turned around and smiled.
Standing by the entrance to the hallway was Tam. He looked even cuter than last time, especially with his tired eyes.
"Where are we?" Sophie asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"My home. We're in the foyer right now. Wanna find Keefe and see if he wants a tour?" Tam explained, a small smile gracing his lips.
"I would like a tour but only if you want to do it," came a voice from behind them. Looking up, Sophie realized that Keefe had entered the foyer, a smirk on his lips.
Tam ran up to him, asking,"May I give you a hug?" After getting confirmation that he can, he took Keefe into his arms and squeezed him so hard that Keefe pretended to choke, but the effect was ruined by the fact that he was laughing.
Tam took Sophie's and Keefe's hands and led them out of the foyer, into a glimpse of his world.
—-
Sophie might have almost slipped up during the tour though.
They were sitting on Tam’s bed, when the boys tried asking about her day.
“Oh, it was good. My teacher pretended to get mad at me for being right on something he was wrong on, but I read his mind, and he was impressed!” Sophie cheered, jumping up and down. She was so excited she hadn’t noticed her slip up.
“Wait, read his mind?” Tam asked, leaning forward to look at her. Sophie felt the urge to tug her eyelashes out, but resisted.
“I, um, I,” Sophie stammered, her hands wringing. “I read his body language, and read some of his notes. I didn’t read his mind. I mean how would that even work right?” she laughed, even though her stomach wanted to jump out her throat.
It was clear from Tam and Keefe’s faces that they doubted her, but she didn’t care. As long as they dropped the subject it would be enough for her.
Luck was on her side and they dropped it, although they gave her glances every once in a while.
—-
Tam felt as though his heart would explode out of his chest.
His parents had tried to convince him and Linh that they should pretend that they weren't twins. It wasn't anything new. They've been doing that for as long as Linh had said she wanted to be a girl, and it was easier to pass them off as two siblings with Linh a year older.
However, after the last dream he shared with Keefe and Sophie, he wanted to change something. He was tired of living a lie, like Keefe was forced to.
However, when he brought the idea to Linh, she told him that she wouldn't follow him through with it. While Tam knew she was entitled to her opinion, he could not help but think her opinion was stupid.
Luckily, a few days after he brought up his idea to Linh, he had another shared dream.
This one started in a very basic home. It was the most depressing room Tam had ever been in his short life. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but it was very sad compared to the, admittedly limited, places he had been in his eight years of life.
Tam suddenly remembers that Sophie didn't live in the Lost Cities. Perhaps this was her home.
"Sophie? Keefe?" Tam called out, wanting to reassure himself that they were safe.
Suddenly, a body came running up to him, and tackled him. Judging by the fact that there was maniacal laughter and a wide smirk, Tam guessed that it was Keefe.
Pushing the shorter boy off of him, and mentally reminding himself to ask Keefe why he had such long hair, Tam smiled at Keefe.
"Hi Keefe. How are you? This is a change. Where is Sophie?" Tam greeted, while definitely not blushing. It seemed he was unsuccessful if the blonde's laughs were anything to go by.
"Hi hi Tammy. I'm fine. Better with you. Yeah no Sophie is weird," Keefe responded, his voice lacking his usual enthusiasm. That alerted Tam, since although he had only known the younger boy for a little while, he had thought that he was a ball of energy.
"Hi guys," a chipper voice behind them yelled. "I guess we're in my house this time."
Standing in what Tam presumed was her night clothes, Sophie was bright eyed and bushy tail.
Forgetting to ask Keefe why he looked so sad, he allowed himself to be dragged around the house that was so different from what he was used to.
—-
Keefe was getting older, almost old enough that his parents were thinking about allowing him to get out of the house. After all, he was 10 years old.
However, there were many obstacles to overcome. For starters, he was considered a disappointment in every way imaginable. Another was that he was known as a girl, not as the boy he wanted to be viewed as.
Keefe knew what people who felt like him were treated. Other people called them moon children, both under breaths and to their faces. Keefe couldn’t choose what was worse, the hatred or the lie.
Luckily, Sophie and Tam knew. They didn’t know the whole story, but that was okay. They weren’t going to learn the truth for a while.
Keefe could not wait to dream share again with the two most wonderful people he knew.
(So what if he didn't know anyone else who actually cared about him. They still were the best.)
Luckily he didn't have to wait long. Only until he fell asleep that night.
Keefe found himself in Atlantis, a place he had never been to but he recognized it from the water surrounding him.
Keefe took a glance around, noting that he was standing in front of the matchmakers office.
(A bitter feeling rose from within him, as he thought about the fact that he would never get a match list.)
Keefe was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize someone was behind him until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Ah!” he screeched, confusion filling his core before he realized who it was.
Poor Sophie was so terrified she almost fell. Fortunately Tam was close enough to grab her but it still was a close one.
"I don't need you to fall for me Soph," Tam teased, looking brighter than ever. "I know I am good looking. By the way, we're in Atlantis. It's like New York where me and Keefe live."
Keefe was impressed with the amount of knowledge Tam had, both of humans and Atlantis.
"Oh cool! It's really cool that you guys still have places based off of the legends!" Sophie gushed. Her hands were waving wildly, like they had a tendency to do when she was excited.
Keefe wanted to just soak up the goodness of the interaction, when Tam turned to him suddenly.
"Hey, you wanna go on a tour? I don't know if you've been here before but it's really cool," the black haired boy rushed out.
Keefe nodded, and allowed himself to be dragged along with the two other children into a world he had never known.
—-
Sophie was in complete and utter awe in the way the city, Atlantis, was.
It looked to be entirely made of crystals and the buildings were as tall as could be. There were some strange things here, like the blue fire, but she brushed it off as a very elaborate light.
"My parents took us here for shopping ," Tam explained, his voice surprisingly neutral throughout his sentence, despite the smile on his face. He was the unofficial leader of the group , leading the other two through the city that looked just like it’s namesake.
Entering one of the stores, Sophie was surprised at what she found. Instead of the usual shirts and pants she found at stores, there were tunic and some sort of jacket. It seemed to be made of leather, and had a very medieval feel to it.
"Can I go try one on? My parents won't let me wear anything like that, only dresses," Keefe asked hesitantly. He was fisting his pajama top, not looking up at either Sophie or Tam. While she did wonder why his parents would make a boy wear dresses, she passed it off as a weird parent thing.
After Tam gave the confirmation he could go, Keefe ran towards the tunics, and gestured to Sophie to come follow.
"What kind of fabric are they? I've never seen this before?" Sophie wondered out loud.
"I don't know," Tam stated, looking down at his knees.
Trying to look for a tag, Sophie realized all she could find was some odd sort of lines.
Asking what they were got her a panicked and confused expression, from Tam and Keefe specifically. The dream then suddenly faded to black, and Sophie woke up. gasping. She would later learn that shared dreams could end if one was too close to learning where their soulmate lived before they met. She cried for hours after that.
That was the first time they ended a dream on her.
—-
Tam, after two years, had gotten used to having dreams in places she had never been before.
(She had also gotten used to the knot in her stomach on some days, the days when she wanted to not be a boy, but someone. It wasn't all the time, but it hurts.)
It was a medium sized room, with about 20 of one of the most uncomfortable chairs with a desk in front of them.
Tam then realized that she was also sitting on a rug, with some strange symbols on it.
"Hi, Tam," Keefe greeted, a smile stretched across his face. He had snuck up to Tam when she was distracted with trying to figure out what those symbols were. "Is this one of your places or no?" Keefe's hands were twisting his tunic, a long black one with buttons.
Keefe quickly sat down by Tam and cuddled up to him.
"Hi Keefe," Tam greeted. "No, I think this is one of Sophie's dreams. Do you think it's some weird human thing?"
Keefe had come to Tam with his suspicions that the third member of their group was not an elf about a year ago. While there had been some evidence to the contrary, specifically the second dream shared, the fact that Sophie lived in the Forbidden Cities was enough to cancel out any other possibilities. They had decided to not say anything to her as to not hurt her feelings, since they would never meet, or accidently reveal something was amiss.
Just then, Sophie walked up to them, from somewhere. She then sat on the floor by Tam and gave her a big hug.
"This is my school. We're learning about right triangles and it's really fun!" Sophie chirped, a smile on her face. "Of course the other kids are kinda mean since I am two years younger than them, cause I moved up two grades," she then frowned, obviously upset about that fact.
Tam was still confused. Sophie was only eight, why was she in school so early. Although she had mentioned that she was with kids two years older, that still didn't clear anything up.
"Why are you in school when you're so young?" Tam blurted out, interrupting Keefe's interrogation as to what right angles were.
"We start school when we're five, what do you mean young?"
Keefe cleared his throat. "Well, where me and Tam are from, we get homeschooled until we are about eleven, which we then start school with other kids. Only, I think our school has only one desk in a class, since we have one mentor for a prodigy."
Sophie's expression was so confused it almost made Tam laugh, but she decided to take pity on the blonde girl.
"How do your teachers deal with," Tam quickly counted the amount of chairs,"25 kids?"
Sophie laughed and confessed she had no idea. They laughed, when Keefe started coughing.
"Are you okay?!" Tam and Sophie cried out, concerned about their friend. (Well you want him to be something more, taunted the voice inside of Tam's head).
"No."
"Do you need something?"
"Yeah, for this to get off my chest." Keefe then tugged his tunic off, showing a tight cloth around it, binding his chest flat.
Sophie gasped, and immediately started lecturing him about how unsafe this was, and forced him to take off the bandages. Tam also helped, even though he felt numb. Why would his soulmate do this to himself?
Eventually, they managed to calm down enough that they could get in a comfortable position. They ended up with Tam sitting on what Sophie called a beanbag, Keefe on her lap, and Sophie sitting on the edge.
After some gentle prodding, they managed to get Keefe to open up.
"Because it is just too much. And, And if my mom found out then she's going to start harping on me about being a girl... I'm not a girl. But if I say something I'm going to be in big trouble,"Keefe gasped through his sobs. He was wearing his tunic again, and wrapped his limbs around Tam.
Tam noted that Sophie was at a loss, but he knew what Keefe was talking about. It wasn't a well known fact, but in the lost cities, anyone who wanted to be a different gender was not treated the best. They were almost as bad as twins if they were talentless, but just as bad if they had an ability. This was because they couldn't have children, so they were less likely to be matched. She still remembers the times her parents would yell at Linh about being a moonchild.
Tam pushes those thoughts out of her head, and focuses her efforts on Keefe. She also promised to make sure to punish whoever made Keefe feel like this one day.
-----
Keefe couldn't believe he was going to do this. He was sitting on a plush sofa, across from his parents, in his room. He was close enough to smell his mother's perfume, a lilac scent. Gripping his tunic, he forced himself to make eye contact.
"Well, get with it, love," his father ordered, his eyebrow raising slightly.
Keefe forced himself to take a deep breath, through the tightness in his chest. He wasn't using a cloth to bind his chest, not after the dream he had a few days ago.
"I have something to tell you," Keefe stammered, watching his parents become more and more irritated with how slow he was taking. "I'm a moon child, and I don't care if you hate me, or if getting a match is impossible. This is who I am, and this lie that is my life is getting tiring." Tears were streaming down Keefe's face, as the emotions that were threatening to spill over spilled.
His father sighed, as he walked towards Keefe.
Placing a hand on Keefe's, he sighed,"Well. You seem to not be lying. Well, man up, boys don't cry. I'll have the gnomes make your clothing fit for a gentleman of your stature." Cassius then walks away, leaving his wife to mull over what just happened.
Keefe felt a grin, then a laugh, bubble up inside him, threatening to escape. His mind just couldn't wrap around the idea that his father would accept him with such ease. Little did he know that his father didn't truly accept him, and wouldn't for years to come.
—-
There was a bundle of nerves in Sophie's stomach. Today was the day. The day they told her the two people closest to them, besides their family. one of the biggest revelations in her life. One they haven't told anyone before.
They took a deep breath, eyes scanning the room the dream had started in for them. They were in their home again, with them being in the living room. There was a half-eaten cake, with a few presents scattered around the room. Their favorite blanket was on the back of her sofa, as though their dreams somehow knew what she would need.
A few moments passed, before Tam and Keefe walked in, holding hands. Sophie wasn't jealous of the fact they were together when the dream started. In fact, it was a good thing because it so rarely happened. Usually, Keefe would start his dream by himself.
"It repeated," Keefe stated, in what some would assume was a deadpan, but they knew that they were just giving an observation. Sophie could empathize. It was rare to have a location for a shared dream to repeat. It typically only happened in dire cases.
Tam nodded, then turned to Sophie."What's going on?" he asked softly, his eyes glancing at the cake in front of them. They couldn't blame him.
"Well, today was my birthday so we stayed in and played a lot of board games, and ate cake. Also, I have something to tell you two, but you have to promise to not hate me." There. That was a great way to start this conversation.
Keefe nodded, then asked,"Do you want us close or far away from you?" Sophie thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons. She then gestured for them to sit on one sofa next to them, which they did.
"So what's going on?" Tam asked surprisingly gently, his hand on their side.
"Um, well I kinda realized something recently and wanted to tell you. You know how Keefe is a boy despite not having a boy's body?" Sophie ventured, desperately hoping they didn't hate them after this. They accepted Keefe, but he fell into a nice neat little box that Sophie didn't.
"Yeah. What does that have to do with this?" Keefe questioned, genuine curiosity in his voice.
Sophie took a deep breath, and started to explain.
"Well, I don't want to be a girl, and while being a boy is kinda better, it's still not okay. Like, I'm in between two water falls, and I need to drink from them once in a while, but drinking from one too long is really bad. I know it is weird but it's how I feel. It's called being non-binary, in the human world." Sophie rushes out, their voice steadily becoming thicker with tears. They were so out of it they barely registered Tam lifting her on his lap.
"Hey, it's okay. We don't hate you. Want us to use different pronouns?" his voice soothed, although there were some tears streaming down his face. Why? Sophie thought.
"They and Them. Why are you crying?" their voice responded, after they crawled out of the mud her mind was in.
"Um, because I kinda feel like that sometimes. But not the same. It's more like I have a closet, with a lot of different clothes, some super similar, but some different. Sometimes I want to put on one thing but the next moment I want to put on a completely different thing. I'm not doing a great job at explaining it, but it's how I feel," he whispered, his hand clutching Sophie tighter. They felt Keefe's hands settle on their bodies, pulling them closer.
Sophie thought they knew what he was going through, but wanted to check first. After getting off Tam's lap, they went to grab their iPod, opening the internet. While Keefe and Tam couldn't see the screen, it still worked in their dreams.
"So, um I think I found out what you might be. It’s called being genderfluid, and it’s basically when your gender changes. I found a quiz that is supposed to help you get a start on understanding it.. There’s a bunch of questions so I am going to read them off to you and you can answer them okay?"
After getting confirmation from Tam, Sophie started reading off the questions they found. After asking all the questions, Tam put his head in his hands, and Keefe, who had been quiet this whole time, stroked his back softly.
"Do I need to make a decision now?" he whispered.
"No," Sophie and Keefe responded simultaneously.
"You can go at your own pace. If you ever want to tell us, you can," Keefe declared, his voice filled with confidence.
"Okay. I'm going to be thinking about this, so I'm going to tell you later. It's kinda sudden, you know?"
"Yeah, that's cool. I get how you feel," Keefe responded.
---
Shortly after the conversation, Tam had come to a decision. Xe were not completely sure of the term gender fluid describing xem , but it seemed to fit how xe felt. Xe were Tam Song, the rowdy spawn of Quan and Mai Song, and Linh Song's twin.
"I have an answer."
"What?" Keefe asked, from his side. They were playing Mario Kart, and he was winning.
"I think I am genderfluid. Use Xe/Xem right now, let you know if it changes,no new name," Tam smiled, feeling freer than ever.
"Okay," Sophie smiled, then proceeded to hit Keefe with a blue shell. Keefe yelled, and pushed Sophie causing them to laugh. Tam chuckled softly as a soft, bubbly filled xem right up.
—-
Linh had manifested the day before her and Tam's tenth birthday, and since then she hadn't been out of Choralmere for long periods of time. It's been ten months since she left her home for more than a few hours, since the twins could convince people that she and Tam were in fact twins. It had been an uphill battle for Tam to get her to tell other people that they weren't twins, but eventually she cracked. It was when he admitted that he told his soulmates they were twins that did it. Linh hadn't realized that he had even begun dreamsharing, and judging by Tam's reaction, he didn't want to tell her. Their scheme was only in motion for two months, up until Linh had stopped leaving their house.
However, today things were looking up. The day before was when she had her Foxfire entrance exam, in which she was able to keep control of the water long enough to impress the examiners. Her parents were so proud they promised to take both twins to a surprise place as a reward.
They had taken the twins to Atlantis, both because they needed school supplies for Linh but also because they knew that the twins were much more subdued in the bustle of the crowds.
Tam had a deathly grip on Linh's hand, as he tried to keep them close to their parents. Despite publicly being the oldest, Linh was more often than not treated as though Tam was older. He was just naturally braver.
However, Tam was holding something secret from Linh. It hurt Linh that her twin would hide something from her, which was definitely strange considering they never did before. Linh was determined to find out what.
Eventually, they made it to the bookstore, which while having a good crowd, was emptier than usual. That was a good thing for Linh's plan.
"Me and your father will get your books while you two go get some books for your free time,"'Mai told them briskly. Linh nodded rapidly, and grabbed Tam's wrist, dragging him towards the children's section, which was not very crowded.
"Linh, what are you doing?" Tam asked, irritated. He was tugging at his bangs, a nervous habit.
"What are you hiding from me?" she whispered, yelling, desperately.
"What?"
"Don't act dumb, you're hiding something."
Tam took a deep breath, as though preparing for a fight.
"You know how you're a girl, despite mom and dad saying you're a boy? I'm kinda like that, but it's different. Sometimes my mind feels like a girl, sometimes it's a boy and sometimes it's neither. It's not fun. Go ahead and laugh," Tam sobbed, almost silent.
Linh was shocked, at the idea that her twin felt that she would laugh at him for something he couldn't control.
"Hey it's okay. Do you want me to use different pronouns?"
"Um, yeah, it's She/Her right now," Tam laughed, his - no her - face ecstatic.
"So they change?" Linh clarified, feeling so much lighter than before.
"Um, yeah, but I'll tell you when they do."
Linh nodded, then grasped Tam's wrist and strolled around the book store, getting a good load of books. Linh was feeling so giddy, she didn't know how to control herself.
When they went back to their parents, they gave the twins a single look and looked away again. It hurt Linh, but she forced herself to keep going.
She should have known that was the beginning of the end.
When they walked outside of the bookstore, Linh almost cried out. The water, which usually was a mezzo forte piano and violin, was now an orchestra playing their loudest most extravagant piece, wanting to draw your attention. It was quickly becoming too much.
Tam, god blessed her soul, tried to help. She forced her shadows around Linh, which made it a bit better, but still wasn't enough.
It happened so fast, in the blink of the twins light blue eyes. Water splashed around everywhere, terrifying people. It shocked Linh's whole body.
Linh could vaguely hear the words of everyone in her ears. The yelling voices of her parents, her twin uncharacteristic soft voice in her ear, the panicking sounds from everyone else that dissolved into anger. She heard it all.
It was all mild nuisances compared to what would follow.
—-
Sometimes it was just a few days between the shared dreams, sometimes it was over a month. However, after hearing what had happened in Atlantis,Keefe wasn't surprised that he shared a dream.
It was in Atlantis. Everything was wrong though. There was water everywhere, and shops were destroyed.
In the middle of a street was Tam and Sophie. They were sitting down, Tam curled up in a ball, Sophie running their fingers through Tam's hair. Keefe walked up to them, making sure to alert them of his presence. He sat down beside them, which got both of his soulmates attention.
"They. I'm sorry, this was my fault," Tam mumbled, their eyes glazed and their voice dead.
"I don't even know what happened, so why should I hate you," Keefe retorted, cursing himself for the joking tone his voice had taken on.
"I caused this," Tam declared, gesturing with the arm that wasn't curled around their knees. They had also started rocking back and forth. Keefe wished
"I tried telling him that it isn't their fault, but they aren’t listening,” Sophie explained, their brown eyes filling with tears. Their hand was still petting Tam’s hair. It was times like this that Keefe wished he could feel their emotions. It would have made this a lot easier. However, your abilities didn’t work in dreams, annoyingly enough.
Eventually, Tam was able to calm down enough that they uncurled himself. Their face was tear stained, but no one mentioned it.
“Want to tell us what happened?” Sophie questioned, their hand still in Tam’s hair.
“No,” Tam spatted out, and turned away from them.
Keefe knew why Tam didn't want to talk about what happened. He had heard, everyone had heard, when Atlantis flooded. It was terrifying, and Tam might not want to relive those moments.
"Soph, maybe we don't force Tam to tell us anything he doesn't want to, okay?"
Sophie gulped, "Okay.”
Keefe then turned towards Tam and tried comforting him again.
"I'm sorry for being such a baby about this."
"You have nothing to apologize for."
"It's just, me and Linh have to go to trial, and we might be kicked out."
"But, your what, ten, eleven?" Sophie gasped.
"Um, ten. Technically, I don't have to go, but I do. I can't leave Linh alone. She's my world, so I need to keep her safe."
"I wish I could do something. Even if it's just changing the dream so it's happier."
"Yeah, me too," Tam sighed, his eyes looking hazy as he took Keefe and Sophie's hands.
---
The next night, Sophie dreamshared. It was different from usual, with Keefe standing next to them when the dream started.
They were in a spacious area, with what seemed to be thrones all around the room. There was little light, and benches everywhere.
In the middle was Tam, with silver bangs and a sweet lilac smell. Sophie and Keefe were wise enough not to comment, especially since there still were tears stains on Tam's cheeks.
"This was where the trial took place," Tam whispered. "They banished Linh, and I'm going with her." Sophie didn't know what happened but they felt Tam's shirt under their fingers. They felt Tam's chest heaving, with soft sobs escaping from Tam. Sophie wished that their ability to read minds still worked in the dreams.
"Will you be okay?" Keefe questioned. Sophie cursed themselves for not realizing that was a valid concern. Tam and Linh were only 10, they needed things like food and shelter and clothes. They couldn't get a job or anything. They hadn't even started school.
"Yeah. Linh and I get our own place, and we will interact with whoever brings us our food, at least for the beginning,” Tam admitted. Sophie felt their shoulders relax, and Tam started to calm down.
“So, it’s not as bad as it could be?”
“I guess, but the place me and Linh have to go to is a place for bad kids,” Tam muttered, eyes cast on the floor.
“Well, do you think you are bad?” Keefe asked.
“No, but most bad people don’t realize they are bad, so am I a good judge?” Tam whimpered.
Sophie took Tam into their arms again, “ I know I don’t like where you and Keefe do, but I want you to know that I think you are not evil. Everyone who says otherwise is wrong. Okay. They are wrong.”
Tam gave them a watery smile,”Thank you, Sophie.”
Sophie wished she could believe Tam fully but she knew Tam didn’t fully believe it.
—-
Tam was not in the greatest of mental states.
No, wait, scratch that, his mental state was worse than Exilium. At least that had some predictability. Tam was just wild.
If one were to ask him when his mental degradation started, he would have said their first day of Exilium. However, it had started much earlier than that.
It had started the appointment with the doctor the council had hired.
Tam still felt his hands on him, his hands ghosting his body. He felt the tears filling his heart, which was still filled with them.
He remembered everything.
Tam tried to be strong in front of Linh. However she wasn’t fooled. She kept trying to get him to talk. Tam was grateful for her attempts to show she cared, it was just...
Talking would make it real. It would require it to be in the front of his mind, forcing him to confront it. No, Tam could ignore it, that would work.
It wasn’t until the next shared dream that he realized that plan wasn’t perhaps the most sane.
It started out in Keefe’s room. Due to both their age and the amount of time they had been dreamsharing (almost 3 years) the places had started repeating.
Tam was on Keefe’s desk, not an unusual place for him to start.
Sophie was on Keefe’s bed, their eyes looking at the ceiling as they kicked their legs.
“Hi Tam!” they cried, when Sophie realized that Tam was on the desk. “How ya been?”
Tam shrugged, as a soft click filled the room from his fingernails against the desk.
“Are you and Linh okay?”Sophie prodded gently, walking towards Tam. They grabbed his hands, startling him as he realized he had been scratching at them again.
“We are as fine as possible, given our situations. It’s tiring though, because our new school makes us do a lot of exercise,” Tam replied. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie either.
Sophie nodded, then turned around. Standing behind them was Keefe, in his new tunic and smelling like pine trees.
“Hi Tam, Sophie,” he greeted, walking over to them. “How are you two?”
“Good,” Sophie replied, leaning into Keefe’s gentle touch as he petted her hair. Tam couldn’t believe he was so gullible once upon a time to allow someone to touch him like that. It only hurt him.
“I’m as good as my situation allows me to be,” Tam replied. His throat was closing up, and he eyed the window across the desk he was still on.
Wouldn’t it be easier to just jump? To let go of everything? To let go of this pain?
It was the moments after that cracked Tam’s mask. It should be noted he has no intention to blame Keefe and Sophie, as this might have happened with anyone else.
Keefe tried to take him into a hug, and Tam jumped away from him. When neither Keefe or Sophie tried to touch him again, anger and desperation clouded his mind.
“Why aren’t you touching me? Is it because I am used goods? I didn't want it, okay!” Tam roared. He felt his nails digging into his hands, and barely allowed himself to register Sophie and Keefe’s gasps.
Tam ran towards the window, and pried it open. He could still feel his soulmates running towards him, but he was quicker.
Tam sat on the windowsill and pushed himself off.
What happened was not what he expected.
Instead of hitting the ground, Tam felt a gentle pull, almost like a rope on his stomach, pulling him back towards the window.
When he got back into Keefe’s bedroom, he felt both of his soulmates hand all over him, with one of them whispering sweet nothings in his ears. It was too nice for him.
“Why?” Sophie whispered, making Tam shudder with how innocent she sounded.
“Because it’s too much,” Tam muttered, causing Keefe to force Tam to look him in the eyes.
“What can you do to make it not as much?” he asked , his eyes softening as he grabbed Tam’s hands in his own. Tam resisted pulling them away.
“I don’t know. It’s, like, touch is hard. Even now it is. It’s dumb,” -Tam wiped his eyes -“but I can still feel his hands on me.”
Keefe and Sophie didn’t say anything, but Keefe does squeeze Tam’s hands harder.
“Maybe,” Sophie started,”we could start small. Asking you if touch is okay, making sure you are still here, stuff like that. Is that okay?”
Tam couldn’t believe it when he started crying. It was just...
The way Sophie looked so sincere when they said that made Tam’s heart flutter. They weren’t saying it to be polite, they meant it.
“Yeah, that’s okay,” Tam replied, trying to push the darkness away and bask in the light.
In Keefe and Sophie’s arms, he felt slightly lighter.
——
Fitz didn’t get Sophie.
It wasn’t personal or anything, it really wasn’t. It was just little things about her that quelled his interest.
For one, when anyone made references to her being a girl, she cringed. Not enough to be extremely visible, but it still was noticeable. For another, her reaction to different locations. It almost was like how Biana reacted when she started her education at Foxfire. Both girls were in awe at the sights, but weren’t shocked. Fitz figured she must have seen the places from his memories. She also seemed more curious as to how things work than the fact that elves existed.
Little did Fitz know that the mysterious girl was actually a lot more different than his predictions made her to be.
—-
Keefe's dream was shared that night.
It was in Everglen, but he didn’t go to it today. So why was their shared dream there?
Keefe had started in front of the gates, in all of its shining glory.
A few moments later, he felt a pair of arms grab his shoulders. He didn’t even need to look up to know it was Sophie.
“Hi Sophie,” Keefe greeted, a smirk playing on his lips.
“Hi,” Sophie smiled, but it wasn’t like usual. It was the smiles from when Tam was at their worst, when they didn’t really get how Tam could feel so hopeless.
“Hey what’s wrong?” Tam greeted, limping towards them.
(Keefe wanted to curse the silver banged teen, but recognized that Tam might not have the proper medical care he needed available. It wasn’t unusual for the blondes to patch Tam up, since anything injured or healed in a shared dream is mirrored in the real world. They had been able to do this more often after Linh was informed of their bond, shortly after they were banished. From what Keefe could gather, she had taken it surprisingly well.)
“Nothing,” Sophie replied. “Pronouns?” they questioned, grabbing Tam’s hand and helping them sit on the ground.
“Xe,” Tam replied, wincing as Sophie removed xer shoes (xe must have slept in them.)."Also, you are totally hiding something, so fess up.”
Keefe saw Sophie’s face fall, and heard Tam’s quick reassurances that if they genuinely didn’t want to say anything they didn’t need to.
“No, you’re right, I’m hiding something,” Sophie confessed. “It’s kind of a big deal, and it could change the entire way you look at me and I'll Understand If Hatemepleasdon't,” Sophie rushed out, chest heaving as their hands trembled around Tam’s ankle. Tam started stroking their arms, trying to get them to calm down.
“Okay, so how familiar are you two on unnatural things?” Sophie asked.
“Pretty familiar,” Tam groaned, as Sophie tried moving her ankle.
“Okay,” Sophie took a deep breath, moving their hands away from Tam. Keefe scooted to be by them, just in case.
“I’m a telepath. I have been since I was five years old and I just met another telepath today, and it turns out I’m an elf. Please don’t hate me!” Sophie rambled, hands flailing as they tried to calm themselves. Keefe grabbed their shoulders and started soothing them, eventually calming Sophie enough to have this conversation. It’s at that moment Keefe realized something. He could feel Sophie and Tam’s emotions. He decided to put that thought to the back of his mind, instead calming the others down.
“Well, you’re not the only one who is hiding something,” Tam blushed, then Keefe felt a sharp cold on his back. All of the shadows were surrounding them, covering them. He’s a Shade. Tam was twisting and flicking his wrists in such a pattern Keefe couldn’t help but be awed.
“I’m a Shade,” Tam spat out, sending the shadows back to wherever they came from.
“I don’t have anything as cool, but I’m an Empath,” Keefe confessed, shame trying to peek through but pushed down quickly.
Sophie was wide-eyed, and questions were running a mile a minute, as she patched up Tam’s ankle the best they could.
(Keefe could still remember the first time that Tam hid an injury from them. There were cuts all over xe’s arm, not all of them unwilling. Sophie would cry for years after, as would Keefe. It was also a recurring nightmare, as were many others.)
“Do either of you know Fitz? He’s the one who introduced me,” Sophie wondered.
“Um, funny story. He’s my best friend,” Keefe chuckled. With that response, he was bombarded with interrogations
“Wait,” Sophie suddenly paused. “If it’s not too hard, can you tell me what happened that day in Atlantis?”
Tam sighed, which made Keefe think xe wasn’t going to tell the story. However, xe began.
“It was technically my fault what happened in Atlantis You know how there’s force fields around Atlantis? Well, I can break them or weaken them using my shadows. That day in Atlantis was also when I came out to Linh as gender fluid, so I was letting my emotions and instincts take control and I weakened the force fields. If I didn’t, then Linh couldn’t flood Atlantis. I’m sorry,” Tam whispered, the last bit so soft if Keefe wasn’t so close he might not have known. Tam was feeling powerful emotions, but the main one, which was a cause of concern, was guilt and shame.
“Hey, listen. Tammy, you’re not allowed to blame yourself for stuff that you don’t have control over. It won't help," Keefe comforted the silver-haired teen. Tam sniffed again, but nodded, xer movement jerky.
"Sophie, if you want, me and Keefe could try and explain things to you about the lost cities. I mean, maybe I'm not the best person, but I could help with the basics," Tam offered.
"That would be great. Like, do you either know Fitz? He's the elf who brought me to the lost cities, we're at his house right now," Sophie stated. Keefe couldn't help but snort at the fact his best friend outside of the two in front of him met his soulmate before he did.
"What?" Keefe questioned, "it's funny how Sophie met my best friend before they met me."
"Fitz is your best friend?" Sophie questioned.
"Yeah, it has been for a while. I mean, we're both kinda outcasts," Keefe chortled bitterly.
Then, Sophie started laughing, which made Tam and Keefe laugh, which made Keef think that would be okay.
---
Adjusting to the Lost Cities wasn't as hard as Sophie anticipated. It did have its ups and downs, though.
For one, the elves kept preaching about how amazing they were. However, Sophie knew some of the many unfair things that the elves did with no one calling them out. They knew about how they treated anyone who wasn’t up to their high standards, and didn’t care at all about anyone except a select few people.
There were a few good things though. For one, Sophie and Keefe finally met in real life, and it was just as hysterical as they imagined. Getting accused of ditching was always fun.
“I’m Keefe,” the blond boy, who had accused them of ditching, introduced himself.
“Sophie,” Sophie replied, then mentally slapped themselves. Of course this blonde, seemingly popular boy, would have heard of her.
“Do you have a sister named Amy?” Keefe suddenly blurted out, eyes widening. Sophie was shocked at his question. Surely this wasn’t the Keefe they dreamed shared with, right? Sophie sighed, realizing there was only one way to find out.
“Yeah. Is your soulmate a Shade named Tam?” They asked, preparing for a no.
“Yeah,” Keefe whispered, realization flooding his features.
The two stared at each other, until Keefe grabbed their hand.
“What happened?”
“Accident. Had Alchemy and burned Lady Galvin’s cape and my hand,” Sophie blushed.
“No way! I Wish I could have seen it!” Keefe cheered, until he realized he was making Sophie feel bad. He then took Sophie to the Healing Center, and refused to leave until they were let go by Elwin for their next session.
Sophie was also gaining other friends, like Dex, Biana, Fitz, and, yes, Keefe. It did hurt, however, to not have Tam with them and Keefe in real life. They had been dreamsharing less and less, but Sophie wasn’t too sure of why at the time. It wouldn’t be until later they realized that the nightmares and not sleeping would affect it all.
It seemed like the elves wanted the lost cities to be perfect. They were not successful. They had so many issues, from their treatment to the Talentless to the LGBT+ community. Keefe and Tam were not sugar coating anything when they told them issues that plagued, although they were holding back some information. Sophie didn't particularly care though, since they did tell them the truth, and not a filtered down version of the truth.
It was hard, but having people to rely on was good.
----
Tam was livid. Plain and simple.
She had just been informed that Sophie and Keefe went to the Black Swan (why did they still trust them, they had done nothing good?) for a chance to heal Sophie's abilities. Of course, it went as well as expected for a bunch of dumb idiots who thought abandoning two twelve year old in London was a good idea.
“Let me make sure I have this right. You two idiots decided to go to a random island, to a weird old guy who made Sophie take an ounce of limbium, which she is allergic to, to reset their abilities. Then you two were attacked and now you get to heal Alden’s mind?” Tam questioned, hands gesturing rapidly.
The soulmates were in Sophie’s room at Havenfield, with Tam on Sophie’s lap and Keefe next to them. During her rant, Tam wasn’t paying attention to her soulmate's feelings. Now, she realized that she might have gone too far. Tam started to apologize, but Sophie spoke up.“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault you’re super overprotective of us, especially because you only have Linh otherwise. We knew the risks, and I wanted to have my abilities fixed. Also, we both knew that the Black Swan might not be all bad,” they stated, running their fingers on Tam’s arm.
“I guess, but you are still idiots," Tam mumbled, curling into Sophie.
"Yeah, but isn't everyone?" Keefe pondered. Tam shrugged, her pride still a bit hurt.
"So are you going to heal Alden's mind?" Tam asked.
"I guess," Sophie mumbled,"the council wants me to."
Tam was still mad at these two idiots, but hearing the crack in Sophie's voice made her a bit less mad, and she decided to comfort them first then deal with her anger at them later.
----
(Dex Finds Out About Keefe Being Trans)
Dex was completely and utterly baffled at the situation before him. It wasn’t the situation itself that confused him, but the fact he had gone through it twice.
Dex had gone into Keefe’s changing area during physical education to check up on him. While Dex wasn’t entirely sure what Keefe and Sophie’s relationship was, he knew having Sophie wear an ability restrictor definitely affected Keefe somehow.
However, when Dex walked into Keefe’s changing room, the only thing he could do was shut the door and stare at Keefe.
Around Keefe’s chest were layers of bandages, tightly wrapped. While it might have been an injury, Dex was sure someone would have told him Keefe was injured.
Dex was reminded of an incident when he was younger, with Rex in Keefe’s position. The technopath decided to try the same approach this time.
"Wanna tell me what's going on, or what?" Dex tried to joke, but he really wasn't the jockey type with something this serious.
Keefe slammed his shoulder into his mirror, breath erratic. His eyes were panicked, and Dex had a bad feeling that he was one of the few people in Keefe’s life who wouldn’t hate him.
“No, thank you,” was the cold reply Dex got. It was an out of character move for Keefe that Dex didn’t realize the other elf had put his shirt on.
“Okay, fine. You’re not going to answer my questions verbally. How about I give you yes and no questions, and you just have to nod your head? Sounds good to you?” Dex hopes that the prospect of not needing to talk would convince Keefe to answer more honestly.
Keefe hesitated, but eventually nodded. Dex hopes they won’t be noticed for being late.
“Have you done this before?” A nod.
“More than a year?” Another nod. Shot.
“Do you always do this?” Nod.
“Even while sleeping?” Dex whispered. Thankfully, Keefe shook his head.
Dex took a deep brea and asked the question he knew Keefe was dreading
“Are you a moon child?” Keefe didn’t move for so long, Dex almost repeated himself. However, Keefe nodded, but it was as though he was weighed down by a bag of rocks. Tears fell from Keefe’s eyes, but the other boy made no movement to remedy that. The blonde’s chest heaved, as he tried to keep his sobs silent.
(Dex cursed whoever it was that forced Keefe, his soulmate's best friend, to learn how to keep quiet when he was in pain.)
Dex hesitated, but walked towards Keefe, taking him into his arms. He felt Keefe tense, but slowly relaxed. His breathing even out, as did his sobs.
“‘m sorry,” was the first words Keefe spoke in ancient times. Dex was surprised no one came to find them. “Don’t tell anyone. You and Sophie are my only friends who know.”
Dex was shocked. It wasn’t just at the fact that Keefe thought Dex truly hated him that much to out him, but the fact that he also considered Dex his friend. Keefe always was teasing him and pranking him.
“Is that why you are always pranking me? Because we’re friends?” Dex asked, pulling away. Keefe’s cheeks turned pink, but nodded softly.
Dex laughed, and gave the other boy another hug, then realized something.
“Why does Sophie know?” In response to that, Keefe backed up against the sink, and shook his head.
“It’s personal, isn’t it?” A nod. That made sense actually. If it was personal to either Sophie or Keefe, of course they wouldn’t share it without the others permission.
Eventually, a knock was heard from the door.
“Okay, listen, I get you two are in love with each other, but session is over. Get out,” came the smooth accent from Fitz Vacker.
“Fiiine,” Keefe sang-singed, pulling his shirt back on.
They exchanged one last glance, and left.
------
(The gang is at Alluvetere (The common room in the boys' treehouse is decorated like a campsite, complete with indoor trees, a ceiling glittering with stars, and an enormous fire pit in the center with flames that burn in every color of the rainbow along with a few boulder shaped bean bags.))
Keefe was scared and he wasn't afraid to admit it. After all, he had come out of tricker situations.
Of course, none of them involved him going on the run into the forbidden cities cause his soulmate did something completely unforgivable in the eyes of the public.
He didn’t blame Sophie, it was just that he wished they didn’t have to deal with all the stuff that they had to.
Of course, it wasn’t like Keefe didn’t also have some emotional trauma from his mom being evil. That would be fun to unpack whenever the next shared dream may be.
Currently, he was in the treehouse he was supposed to share with Dex and Fitz. Keefe silently thanked whoever gave him the luck to not be in the girls’ treehouse.
“This is so cool!” Dex cried, circling around the fire. “You guys never had to live with my siblings. It. Was. Torture,” Dex singsonged. He was leaning on the bean bag, his head tilted back.
“Hey, I call shower first,” Keefe yelled, walking towards the bathroom door. He got an affirmation from both Dex and Fitz that it was okay as he walked into the door.
Keefe leaned against the door, taking a deep breath. Or, as deep of a breath as possible. His chest ached, from the tight bandages around it. Keefe knew it wasn’t safe to wear any sort of binders for more than 8 hours, but he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk having Fitz find out. It was bad enough Dex knew. If anyone else found out, Keefe thought he would die.
The empath covered up the mirror and turned off the lights. He had dealt with this enough to know that the inability to see himself would make the whole situation that much more bearable.
Quickly taking a shower, Keefe walked towards the trees. He was debating on whether or not forcing someone to cut his hair would be worthwhile.
He then paused, almost falling backwards. What was in front of him made his cheeks tingle.
Dex was kneeling on Fitz’s lap, and he was sobbing into the teal-eyed boy's shoulder.
Keefe backed away, wary of the branches.
It wasn’t his business. They probably were going to tell him in their own time, and Keefe wasn't going to pressure them.
------
(Sophie freaks out to Tam And Keefe about becoming Cognates)
When Sophie was given the reveriebells by Calla, she was dishearted at the idea that they wouldn't get to dream share that night. While they had stayed up all through the night before, they tried to avoid it at all times.
Thankfully, the reveriebells didn’t affect their ability to dream share.
This particular dream was in Alluevetere, and Sophie was on top of the table in the communal dining room.
“Will you read it?” came a voice from behind her, accompanied with footsteps. Sophie turned around, and felt her heart quickened.
Tam was currently getting a piggyback ride from Keefe; with Tam in his Exilium uniform and Keefe in a red version of her green fuzzy onesie.
“Why?” was Keefe’s reply to Tam’s begging.
“Cause you’re sooo good at it,” replied Tam, a grin on his face. The Shade then leaped off of Keefe’s back and climbed onto the table with Sophie.
“Hi, Sophie. Xe,” Tam whispered into their shoulder, as xers arms wrapped around Sophie. Sophie felt relaxed for the first time all day. Tam and Keefe’s hugs were the only ones they could stand for more than a few seconds. They had this way of hugging Sophie around their shoulders and slightly squeezing to make them feel secure but not surrounded. Most other beings struggled with that.
“Temperature on the feelings thermometer?” Sophie asked, gently pulling away from Tam. They sat down on the table, and guided Tam to lay on her lap.
The feeling thermometer was a technique Sophie’s old councilor used with Sophie. She had a picture on her wall of a thermometer, and every time Sophie was in her office, the first thing she asked was their temperature on the feelings thermometer. One was the best mood ever and ten meant Sophie was going to boil over.
While Sophie disliked their councilor, they could acknowledge that the feelings thermometer, while cheesy, was a good idea. It was specially helpful for when one of the trio was nonverbal, or on the verge of collapse.
”I’m a 5,” Tam mumbled, grabbing Sophie’s hand. They rolled their eyes, realizing that they wanted to be petted. This wasn’t an unusual request from Tam, as well as other touches. While xe apparently wasn’t as touchy during the day, xe was during the dreams. Sophie’s heart warmed at the idea Tam trusted Keefe and Sophie enough to relax.
“Can we do anything to help?” came Keefe’s voice, startling the other two.
“No, but maybe you can help yourselves by asking whatever you’re not,” Tam replied, pulling xer head onto Sophie’s shoulder.
Sophie felt their faces heat up. Keefe gave her a glance, one that comforted Sophie more than they wanted to reveal.
“Fitz and I are cognates,” Sophie blurted out. “I mean, the Black Swan said we could try training to become Cognates.”
Tam’s eyes widened as he wrapped xemself around Sophie.
“Do you want to be Cognates? It requires you sharing everything with each other,” Tam reminded Sophie, as xe kneeled in their lap, arms wrapped around their neck.
Shoulders shuddering, Sophie replied,”I know. I want to be Cognates with Fitz, but I wanted to check if you two think it’s a good idea.”
Keefe spoke up,” I am game. It’s just that one of us needs to tell Fitz about us being soulmates.”
Tam threw in xer two cents,”Yeah, that’s what I was going to say. Also, he will know about all of us being moon children and our childhoods. Are you sure that’s okay with you Keefe? Because I want Sophie to have this opportunity but if you think it wouldn’t work say something.”
Keefe looked conflicted. “It just that we never get to talk about a lot of issues from our childhood, so Fitz might get the wrong idea about what happened.”
That was a good point, A very good point. Sophie loathed to admit it, but their soulmates had a point.
“So why don’t we talk about it?” Let everything out,” Sophie suggested, not expecting to be taken seriously. To Sophie’s surprise Keefe and Tam nodded.
“Okay, but how?” Tam asked, pulling Keefe to sit next to Sophie. Xe then laid down on their laps. Xer hair was by Keefe, who took the opportunity to play with it.
“How about we ask each other questions?”Sophie replied, mentally coming up with as many questions as possible.
“Can I ask first?” Tam requested, cuddling closer to them. After getting a confirmation, xe took a few moments to presumably deliberate xer question..
“Okay. Got it. What scares you the most?”Tam’s voice trembled.
Sophie had to think about that one, truly thinking about it.
“Trusting my mom again. It’s dumb, but sometimes I miss her,” Keefe whispered, looking at Tam’s side. It was abundantly clear he was ashamed of it. Sophie grabbed the blond’s chin and forced him to look them in the eyes.
“I know it’s a lot to deal with, and I know it’s scary to think that she might make you trust her again. But you are stronger than her. The fact you love her means that you aren’t all bad, okay? It just means your emotions haven’t settled down about it. But you are not your parents. You’re so much more than they will ever be,”Sophie reassured Keefe. It was clear their words hadn’t penetrated through the hard shell Keefe put up, but Sophie was determined if nothing else. They made it a goal: reassure Keefe he is not his parents. It would take a significant amount of work, but Sophie was nothing but determined.
“What about you, Soph?” Tam asked, voice muffled by Keefe’s pant leg.
Sophie felt their heart race, as they tried to figure out something to say.
“We won’t hurt you,” came a voice in her ear. “We’re not the Black Swan.”
Sophie forced their breath to slow down, and reached to pull an eyelash out. Keefe grabbed their hand, and he held it tight. That was something they were trying out, to see if it helped with the eyelash pulling. So far, it had not.
“My greatest fear is of sleeping.” Sophie’s voice was so soft they weren’t sure if they actually spoke out loud.
Tam had pulled xemselves up from their laps, and gave Sophie a hug.
“Why?” was the question. It was said in such a way that it didn’t demand to be answered.
“Because, because every time I try to sleep, except for this-“ Sophie gestured around-“I have nightmares. And I refuse to take Sedatives, I spent enough of my life drugged up.”
“That’s fair,” Keefe responded his hands threading Sophie’s hair. “What about you,Tam?”
Tam’s face paled, and he bit his lip.
“It’s...dumb. I’m scared of adults, but especially authority figures,” the Shade stammered out. Sophie felt xer hands grip theirs.
“Is this something to do with being banished?” Keefe asked. Tam nodded, and xe tugged xer bangs.
“When we were banished, the doctor... touched me somewhere I didn’t want to be touched. I felt so icky that I still have nightmares.” Tam was visibly trembling at this point, and furiously trying to wipe xer tears away.
Sophie scooped up the Shade into their lap, and they made sure Sophie could look into xer eyes.
“As long as I have breath in my body, I will never hurt you.” Sophie’s words were punctuated by a squeeze from Keefe, who was surprisingly quiet.
“Can I ask the next question?” Keefe asked, hands twisting.
“Of course,” Sophie responded.
All of a sudden, a voice yelled.
“Tam, wake up. We’re going to be late!” a high voice yelled.
Tam blushed, pushing xemslf off of Sophie’s lap.
“That’s Linh, it’s time for Exilium to start,” xe explained, running off into the distance.
Sophie closed their eyes , bracing themself for the inevitable nausea that came from ending a shared dream before it naturally ended.
When Sophie woke, they forced their tears to fall silently.
——
(Cognate training. Fitz finds out about Sokam)
Fitz had to admit he thought Sophie would be more excited for Cognate training. After all, it was an amazing opportunity and they would have an even better chance of beating the Neverseen.
Of course, her unenthusiastic response might have been caused by everything she must be going through. She had the stress of being a member of the Black Swan, Keefe, and a lot of other things. She also probably recently started dreamsharing. Fitz knew that when you started dreamsharing it could feel a bit embarrassing admitting who you’re dreamsharing with. Especially if your families didn’t get along.
Like me and Dex.
Fitz had to admire how collected she was in the face of all this stress.
The young telepath shook his head, for he was suppose to focus on the Cognate trust exercise Sophie and him were supposed to be doing.
Fitz looked at the list of questions that Granite gave them. He seemed very conflicted about giving it to them but eventually gave it. It was a short list, with only two questions. Both pertained to soulmates, and that was a topic they had never discussed before.
Fitz asked Sophie for permission to enter her mind which she allowed. There was more resistance to his entering than usual, but it was brushed off as a side effects of nerves.Although, they had been doing this for a while so Fitz wasn’t entirely sure why she was nervous.
“Do you want to ask first or should I?” Fitz asked with the respect he knew Sophie deserved. Even before he had started dreamsharing with Dex, Fitz always tried to give Sophie a good deal of respect.
“You ask first.”
“If you have started dreamsharing, describe your soulmates.”
Fitz felt a surge of panic flow from Sophie, and was about to call off the question. It wasn’t like he was completely thrilled about this question either.
“Fitz, I need to tell you something. And I need you to not freak out,” Sophie begged.
Fitz assured her that he wouldn’t freak out. The panic Sophie was feeling ebb and flowed as she gathered her thoughts. Fitz gave her time.
“I’ve been dreamsharing since I was eight years old. And I have two soulmates. One is attending Exilium and the other one is Keefe.”
Fitz wouldn’t lie. He was not expecting that.
He also wasn’t as mad as most people expected. There had been some theories bouncing around regarding Keefe and Sophie’s relationship.
“If it makes you feel any better, my soulmate is Dex.”
“Are you freaking joking?” Sophie yelled, as her emotions became much more positive.
“Nope. Are you?” Fitz shot back.
“Unfortunately no,” Sophie stated. Then, she proceeded to read the next question,”What’s one thing only your soulmate knows?”
Fitz felt his insides squirm as the image of bruises on his shoulders as Dex tried to help him arose.
“Wow,” was the only thing Sophie said, as she pushed energy towards Fitz.
An image of a younger Sophie and two boys formed. Sophie was handing the two boys bracelets. One bracelet was blue, pink, and white while the other was (insert colors of gender fluid flag). Sophie has a similar bracelet, but it was in (non-binary pride colors)
“What are you guys doing?” Fitz asked softly, as the levels of panic ebbed and flowed.
“Humans have this thing called Pride, where they honor the lgbt community. The bracelets were in the pride flags for our gender identity,” Sophie explained, although she was incredibly anxious.
“What is the lgbt community? And what are gender identities?” Fitz questioned, for his curiosity was peaked.
“Gender identities...they’re basically are what gender you identify as. For example, if you might have parts that are assigned female at birth but feels like a boy. That’s called being transgender, trans for short. Or someone doesn’t feel like a boy or a girl, and that’s non-binary. It’s massively more complicated, cause there’s genderfluid, agender, demigender, bigender,, and a lot more, but that’s a crash course, "Sophie explained.
“So it’s like being a moon child? Are you one too?”
”It’s kind of being a moon child, I guess. And yeah I am a moon child. Nonbinary specifically, and I use they/them pronouns. Are you going to blow up now?” Sophie got incredibly defensive at that last part.
“No, no, no I’m not going to hate you. If you want me to I won’t say anything,” Fitz promised. Sophie calmed down at that and exited his mind.
“Thanks Fitz,” she told him. “Just know if you hurt Dex I can and will prank you to the max.”
“I expect that and will reciprocate if you do anything to harm Keefe,” Fitz promised, and he walked back towards the boys treehouse.
He had a lot to think about.
Fitz walked towards his mom's room. He should definitely tell her about this. Maybe she could help Fitz with coming to terms with this.
Della promised to tell Forkle, and thank Fitz for telling her.
——
(Keefe with fathomlethe)
Keefe couldn’t keep up with the influx of thoughts coming into his head. His hand was sore from all of the writing, but he forced himself to keep going.
Keefe didn’t know how long it had been since he took the fathomlethe, but he knew it had been days. Days since he left the room he was undeserving of for more than meals. Days since he had seen the walls of said room.
Keefe knew he should leave. Leave the madness of everything, and allow himself to recuperate. But he couldn’t allow himself to. To do so would be admitting weaknesses he tried to hide.
A harsh knock startled Keefe.
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” a voice yelled. A voice Keefe was so painfully familiar with it hurts. Sophie Foster.
Keefe rose up on unsteady feet and made his way to the door. Sophie ducked under him, and froze.
Keefe wished that he didn’t know why they froze. The reality of the situation was that his room was like Tam and Linh’s room at their parents house only this was slightly more disturbing. There was notes with questions everywhere not drawings. He also had very little belongings scattered around, unlike Fitz and Dex, so that just made the room even more impersonal.
“So...wanna tell me anything?” Sophie asked, their voice so even, if it weren’t for the unease flowing off of them, Keefe would have been fooled into believing they weren’t disturbed by this.
Keefe mumbled,”I got a surge from the fathomlethe, but almost everything was me just fooling around.” Sophie nodded, and they walked towards one of the walls, and Keefe had to restrain himself from yanking them away.
“It’s a lot to go through. Photographic memory and all,” Keefe stated, even though it was super obvious, because he needed to fill the space. Sophie, thankfully, didn’t comment but just kept looking. They were so furious but determined at once Keefe couldn’t keep his eyes off them. He was about to tell Sophie that he wouldn’t be made if they left when they spoke up.
“Can I help?”
Keefe couldn’t help the warm feeling that shot through his heart. But he had to shake his head.
“I don’t know how. It’s my memories, and you got a sanitized version of my childhood,” Keefe replied.
“So? I’m a telepath. Wouldn’t it make more sense to use a memory log so it is all in one place? Not that scraps of paper with scattered ideas don’t have their benefit,” Sophie countered. That was a good idea.
Unfortunately.
Keefe shook his head, but Sophie wasn’t having that.
They pulled Keefe into their lap, and whispered,”Let me help you.”
“I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“You know, that’s what I used to say. Until someone forced me to include them,” Sophie teased, but it had a glint to it that removed any bitterness in Keefe. Keefe breathed in trusting that it will be okay for a moment.
“Sounds like a genius? Are they shockingly good looking even with dumb bangs?” Keefe asked. He knew that Sophie liked Tam more, but he would take what he could get.
“No, but he is good looking but also pretty stupid. I’m talking about you, Keefe,” Sophie gave him a confused look.
“Why?”
“Because you were there for me when I had to heal my abilities, and when I was going to kill myself about Alden. You and Tam are so important, and I am trying so hard to get to Tam. But I want to help you. May I?”
Keefe couldn’t help it, and a sob forced itself between his lips. A broken cry escaped his lips.
“Please. Don’t. My head is not in an awesome place right now,” Keefe admitted. Shame filled up in his head, but he knew that it needed to be said.
“So? I’m used to not great minds. Remember all the times I had to go through broken minds? And Lady Galvin?” Sophie tried to convince him. They pointedly did not mention King Dimitar.
“Great, I have a mind like a psycho.”
“I’m saying you can’t surprise me.”
Keefe distantly felt him being put down, and Sophie got up to look at the wall. His chin was suddenly tilted up. Sophie was holding a piece of paper, and on it was Who am I. “Easy question. You’re Keefe Sencen. Prankster extraordinaire. Master of mischief. The elf embodiment of Hermès. The best boy a non-binary and gender fluid messes could ask for.” The statement was said was with so much conviction that Keefe felt compelled to believe with and let down the weight on his shoulders. “You and Tam are not messes,” Keefe protested as he was hauled up to his feet. He couldn’t stay upright by himself , however, so he collapsed onto Sophie. “I don’t know about that, but I do know that you need to sleep,” they chided, as they guided him to bed. “I don’t know if I can,” Keefe whispered. Sophie nodded, and silently made their way around the room tearing paper down. Keefe took a deep breath before closing his eyes.
Maybe it won’t turn out okay, but he wanted to be the best soulmate he could before his time ran up.
-----
(Tam realizes Sophie and Keefe are at Exilium) Tam had a feeling about this day. It wasn’t clear if it was good or bad. The last time xe had felt this was when the plague struck. The day had started with Tam shaking Linh awake. Xe normally didn’t need to go wake xer twin, but today she had been dreamsharing with her soulmate, Biana, so she slept in. Thankfully, they were able to get to Exilium in time, but they couldn’t even get to the torture because of there being a Dividing for five kids. Five. How they managed to get five kids at once was a question in its own right. It was a standard Dividing test, albeit with five people, for Tam at first. It only got weird when one of them talked. It sounded exactly like Keefe. The Keefe voiced one fell down with his pants still attached to the rope along with his boot. He took it such good stride Tam felt like he was hallucinating. Another one fell, and then one shouted. “It’s Biana,” Linh whispered, her voice trembling. She sounded so sure of herself Tam had to believe her. Another one got free by backflipping and went to help the last one. When the last one spoke, Tam felt xer breathing freeze. That was Sophie Foster. Xe would bet his birth fund on it. “I think our soulmates are here,” Tam shadow whispered to Linh.She was trembling so much she looked like she would pass out, but she gave a shaky nod. “Why didn’t Biana tell me?” Linh questioned, through the shadows. “I don’t know.” There was a fire raging in front of them, and the last one, presumably Sophie, was in the center. “Oh, no you don’t,” Linh whispered out loud as she flung her hands up. Water flowed according to her directions, and it formed a bundle of protection around Sophie. Gently setting Sophie down, Linh grasped Tam’s arm. Xe couldn’t blame her. If it weren’t for the fact xe had to be brave xe would have been grabbing her arm first.
Two of the five were led away to the healing tent while the twins and everyone else were to stay standing.
------
(Keefe, he is taken to meet Linh and Tam for the first time)
Tam couldn’t believe Linh and his soulmates had been at Exilium for over a week. He had believed that they would have managed to get out of it either by willingly leaving or being ejected. He had hoped not, for even though it was grueling work for them they were still there.
Tam knew that today was going to be a bad day as soon as he saw the tents and lake.
Gently, he broke the news to Linh, and she took it better than expected. She just nodded and shakily went to go change. Coming out of the tents, the twins walked over to the water. This time…wasn’t as bad as usual. Nothing had been destroyed, at least, like last time.
Of course, it was still bad. Linh could barely tolerate being even sitting in the water and still having the ability to breathe. Putting her face in the water was to much.
Tam had no idea how long it was until Sophie reached out to them. Their offer to help Linh made Tam internally laugh. The obliviousness needed to not realize you are literally talking to your soulmate was hilarious.
Eventually, Tam felt himself being lifted up from the water, and the coach shouting there was a new record. Tam helped a shaky Linh out of the water as he worked up the nerve to ask her a request.'
“Whatever it is, spit it out,” Linh admonished.
“If I was to ask Sophie to come to Wildwood with us, would that be okay?” Tam shadowed whispered. He couldn’t say why them and not Keefe or Biana, but he knew it wasn’t be the right choice.
“Okay,” Linh replied with no hesitation. Her easy response made Tam want to melt into a pile of happiness. He restrained himself though, for it would not be proper for him to fall apart before asking a pivotal question.
When Tam asked Sophie if they wanted to come with the twins, he didn’t believe they would. Just goes to show how nice they were. Foot steps came from behind him, and there was a figure behind him. “Are you taking Sophie with you?” the figure asked. Tam’s breath caught . That was Keefe.
Linh nodded, as she stepped up. “Yes. You can come with us,” she whispered as she grabbed Keefe’s hand.
Sophie came running up to them. Tam grabbed Sophie and Keefe’s shaking hands, as he whispered, "Are you sure you’re ready?” He felt their hands still. “As we’ll ever be,” Sophie whisper back. Linh held up the leaping crystal that had been theirs for so little time, but it felt like eternity. Stumbling as they landed, Tam guided Linh away as Keefe and Sophie reoriented themselves.
“Where are we?" Sophie asked. "Introductions first," Tam stated, pulling off his mask and lowering his hood. Shaking his head, Tam waited for Sophie, Keefe, and Linh to do the same.
"Are you Tam Song?" Keefe blurted out, and shock filled his features. Tam smirked as he stalked up to the blondes. "Maybe. Shouldn't you know? You are supposedly his soulmate," Linh shot back as she walked up to them again.
"In our defense, Tam never mentioned he was in Exillium. Although we probably should have guessed from the fact you always wore the same thing all the time," Keefe tried to defend him and Sophie, but he was so pathetic Tam took pity on him.
"And before you ak, yes, this is where me and Linh stay. Don't blame yourselves for not doing something about it. I never could tell you because then we would have been woken up and we couldn't talk about it," Tam stated. He knew his soulmates. They tried to take the task of everyone being safe, healthy, and happy very seriously. "It used to be beautiful. We felt so lucky to find it. But that was before the gnomes fell ill," Linh whispered, twisting her hands so hard Tam thought they would break.
"This was the wildwood colony, wasn't it?" Keefe asked, his voice so soft that Tam wanted to scream at him to be quieter. "Yeah. It was nice when they were here. They brought us dinner everynight and I fell asleep to their songs," Linh whispered as she brushed a vine. "Do you two know what happened to them?" "They're in quarantine and alive," was all that Keefe offered. "Were you two the teenagers they found footprints of?"
"Who's they?" Tam questioned, eyes instinctively narrowing. He couldn't truly allow his guard down even if he trusted everyone here. "The council. They're investigating after the frst gnomes came to at Lumeneria."
“Well, they didn’t do a good job at it. They just poked around a bit and left. They didn’t even ask us about the lights,” Tam shrugged. “We’ve been seeing white flecks for a while now, before the plague. They come from across the border, so investigations are hard to do.” “The ogres? Like in Ravagog?” Keefe questioned. He looked pained, and Tam had to fight the urge to wrap him and Sophie in a hug so tight they’ll never get free from it.
“Yes. The pass to it is through there,” Linh stated, pointing towards the mountains.
“Do you think the lights are connected to the plague?” Sophie asked. Tam was surprised at how openly curious they were being. Tam figures Sophie tried to hide her curiosity from others usually. “Maybe. We don’t know,” Linh replied. “Are you always this curious?”
“Is that a bad thing?” Sophie questioned, getting defensive. “Maybe. You’re trying to help the gnomes though so I can’t say. Kind of like you helped me. You must think I am so dumb, by the way. I’m a hydrokinetic afraid of drowning.”
“Abilities don’t mean everything,” Sophie started sagely. “Says the one with four abilities. How exactly did you guys get banished?” Linh questioned. Her voice sounded perfectly neutral. Tam knew how confused she was, however. She still was his twin, after all.
Keefe shrugged. “We finally gave the council a good reason to.” “Did Tam tell you why we’re banished?”
“Kind of. He told us that everyone blamed you for flooding Atlantis, but it was really him destroying the force fields,” Sophie explained. They were fidgeting with their uniform. Linh raised an eyebrow, and she leaned back. “I’m impressed you three trust each other enough to-“ Suddenly, the branches bristled making them all freeze. It was just the wind, though. “This way,” Linh grabbed Tam’s wrist and she led them towards the river.
Grabbing the quilt they had made, the twins settled down on it. So did Sophie and Keefe. “I’m sorry,” Keefe rushes out. “I’m sorry for not realizing how bad it was for you two. I’m sorry for not getting help for you two. I’m so sorry.” By the end of his confession, Keefe looked like he was on the verge of tears.
“Why? You two didn’t do anything wrong. I couldn’t tell you about how bad it is, for if I did then we might not have dreamshared again for weeks, maybe over a month. You two know how much we tried to tell each other, but it doesn’t ever work. I can’t blame you guys cause I made sure to not tell you anything.” By the end of his triad, Tam felt Linh gripping his arm, but he forced it off.
“Tam,” -Linh gripped his arm even tighter this time-“Are you sure you are okay? Can you trust them?” Tam knew she was only trying to help, so he pushed his anger down.
“I know I can. If you don’t trust them, I’ll read their shadow vapor again,” Tam reassured Linh, but something in him revolted the idea that he had to do that again. Last time, it did not go well. Keefe seemed to remember the same particular accident if the way he paled was any indication.
“If you have to check our shadow vapor, I give you permission to do so,” Sophie stated, fierce authority in their voice. Back straightened, they reminded Tam of when he first met Sophie. They were loud and grabbed his hands despite how scared they were.
“Okay,” Tam whispered. He raised his hands and forced the shadows through their minds. Surprisingly, neither of them reacted as terribly as before. The results were also the same. “Now, you two need to know what I’m about to tell you is treason. If you want to leave, I won’t be offended,” Tam explained.
““When the Council was here gathering samples, they didn’t think I could hear them. But I used my shadow to carry my consciousness to where they were working. I couldn’t tell which Councilors it was—only that it was a male and a female. And the female Councilor said, ‘We should’ve warned them this could happen.’ Then the guy said, ‘No one can know.”
Tam braced himself for the yelling and the tears, but he did not expect a single gasp.
“How could they?” was the only thing Sophie said. “If the Council knew what was going to happen, why didn’t they say anything?” “We all know the Council is good at cover ups. They didn’t even try to make sure all the banished kids would be safe. They don’t care,” Tam growled. “Because they don’t care, no one else will either.” It was a sad but true thing in the world that they all were aware of.
“Doesn’t this violate the treaty with the gnomes? The Council is supposed to protect them, but they are just hurting them by withholding information,” Keefe stated wisely.
Tam had no happy response to that. Keefe was unfortunately right. The Council was not the perfect leader and never will be. “Is there anything else we need to say to each other?” Linh asked, perfectly poised.
“Linh? Can you move like four meters that way?” Tam whispered as he gestured towards the trees. He couldn’t risk her stopping him or his soulmates during this next part. Linh looked apprehensive, but she quickly made her way towards the trees.
Tam forced xemself to take a deep breath and wipe xer hand on xer pant leg. This was the moment of truth. “Hey guys. Nice to meet ya in person,” Tam chuckled awkwardly. Sophie let out a soft squeal as their eyes widened. (Tam still remembers how bad they felt about not having blue eyes.) “There’s the elf we love,” Keefe teased. “Hug?” Tam grinned softly as xe moved closer, and allowed Keefe to wrap his arms around xem.
This. This was good. Xe didn’t know how long it had been since xe felt this secure in the real world since xe been banished. “Your feelings are all wiggly,”Keefe mumbled, and he just squeezed Tam tighter. Tam felt xer soul soar. It had the softness he expected to have when the soulmates met in real life.
Tam felt fingers running through xer hair, and xe just let them. “Are you okay?” Sophie asked. Their voice was filled with concern for xem, and Tam could find it in xem to care. “I’m okay. Just tired,” Tam admitted.
“I bet. I can feel it rolling off of you like waves,” Keefe stated. The trio sat like that for a few moments, for they just wanted to gather their thoughts. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you,” Sophie started, but was shushed by Tam.
“Don’t. It’s not your fault. Shadows change how your voice sounds, and you can't see my face. That’s out of control.” Tam let that sink in for a moment. Xe knew both of xer soulmates were stubborn when it came to forgiving themselves. Tam then started to maneuver xemself out of Keefe’s and into Sophie’s.
“This is nice,” they gasped. “You’re so warm?” Tam had to chuckle at that comment. “Yeah, I am. So are you two.” “Are you and Linh going to be okay if we leave?” Keefe awkwardly asked. Tam knew he noticed the setting sun and how the elves they were staying with would be worried. “Yeah. Go,” Tam nudged xemself off Sophie as they got up. “Do you need a cliff?”
Sophie shook their heads as they held up a crystal. “We’re good.” “I guess this is goodbye.” Keefe looked detested as he uttered those words. “No It’s just a see you later,” Tam amended. It had to be, was unspoken.
Sophie grabbed Keefe’s hand and leapt away. Tam tried to ignore how xer heart fell. —— Linh liked to think she was a pretty serene person in most cases. This was not one of those cases.
“You met your soulmates!” she cheered. Tam was blushing so bad that she chuckled.
“Yeah, yeah, keep it down,” Tam chuckled as Tam scooped Linh into a hug. “Xe.”
Linh nodded as she backed up. “How do you feel?” “Kind of overwhelmed. But not bad,” Tam nodded. “How do you approve of my soulmates?” If one didn’t know Tam as well as Linh did, they would have thought that xe were being snarky. However, Linh knew that xe were just really nervous.
“I like them. Are they scared of me because I’m your sister or because of what I have done?” Linh inquired.
“They were probably terrified of the idea you would disapprove of us being soulmates.”
“Probably?”
“We had a lot on our minds!” Tam defended xemself as xe put xer hands in the air.
“Fair point. Next time you see them, ask,” Linh conceded. She wasn’t honestly that disappointed, for she thought that if she met Biana she wouldn’t bother asking if she liked her brother.
“They were blaming themselves for not recognizing me,” Tam stated after a period of silence. “Oh?”
”Yeah. It’s not really their fault because they know my face better than my voice,” Tam elaborated. There was a clear defensive tone to it as xe waved xer hand frantically.
“Tam. I’m not going to blame them for not recognizing you. That’s not fair to anyone,” Linh reassured. “Now tell me. Did y’all do anything?” Tam’s blush simultaneously made Linh feel both bad and giddy. It was always fun to find new ways to embarrass Tam. Tam replied,”No. They traded me between their laps, but then they had to go back.”
Linh shook her head, and she grabbed Tam’s hand to drag him back to the tree they called home. Maybe someday she would be able to meet Biana. --— (Forkle, meeting Linh and Tam/Confronting Sophie about it) Forkle couldn’t help but be wary of taking the moonlark and her friends to meet two banished twins. He had done significant research, but he took all of his findings with a grain of salt.
Walking into the forest, Forkle did not expect a boy running out of some trees behind a river and commanding shadows to come out. “STOP!” he shouted as the shadows gathered around him. “We won’t hurt you,” Keefe stated as he strode up to the front. “They’re with me and Foster.”
The Shade flicked his wrist, which sent the shadows across the river, as he growled,”I didn’t say you could bring people here.” Forkle took a deep breath as he realized that there needed to be some damage control done.
“There is no need for your darkness tricks, child,” Forkle tried to calm the Shade down. “We just want to talk.” “These are not tricks,” the Shade responded. “Unlike your disguise .” The last part was said in such a scoffing tone that Forkle felt almost a bit offended. However, he could understand where the Shade was coming from. The council was not kind to the poor children.
“Anyway, it’s not like anyone besides blondies over there are getting by without reading,” he declared. “Um, what?” the Vacker boy cried out. (Fitz was his name. It’s Fitz.) “Don’t worry, Fitzroy. It doesn’t hurt. It’s really cold but not painful,” the Sencen boy soothed. “Well, even if my brother is being a baby, you can do your reading on me,” the Vacker girl declared as she stepped closer to the Shade. A foolhardy move, Forkle mused, but a sign of a leader. However, he needed to get this meeting back on track.
“If you must, Mr.Song-“ Forkle started out, but he was cut off once again. “How do you know that name?”
Forkle massaged his temples as he wished for lightning to strike him. It would make his life significantly less complicated.
“You’re not the only one who likes to make sure they can trust someone before talking with them. I know that your sister was banished after flooding Atlantis by accident. A foolish choice on your parents' part.” Forkle tried to refrain from calling others foolish, but the Song parents were an exception. They were idiots through and through. “What do you mean, foolish?” the Shade questioned, as he tensed up. While he wasn’t obvious, there was fear radiating off of him.
“To bring a fledging Hydrokinetic to Atlantis and expecting it to not be flooded is as bad as bringing a guster to a hurricane and expecting them to leave the wind alone. No one sensible would. It is also to my understanding clear that your father had no love for the fact you two were twins?” Forkle knew that his facts were straight, but he wanted to learn the child’s opinion on the matter.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have much to say. He simply muttered, "If the pretending that Linh is older than me doesn’t say something, I don’t know what will.”
Forkle nodded, trying to seem wise, and decided to try and speed the meeting along a bit. While they weren’t pressed on time, he needed to gain some more control over the situation. “If you don’t mind, where is your sister?” Forkle was truly more interested in the girl than her brother. While they were both incredibly powerful, it didn’t mean anything if they weren’t willing to work with him.
Suddenly, the shadows around the trees shifted slightly to reveal the Hydrokenetic.. Interesting. It seemed the boy had enough skill to preform some of the more advance Shade skills. Most Shades took a few decades to achieve that much control.
The Vacker girl made a comment on ‘how cool’ that was, but Forkle ignored her in favor of examining the Song girl. She seemed slightly more fed then her brother, but she still looked malnourished. Her hair was longer than either of the other girls, but she seemed like it was not well taken care of. The same could be said of her uniform. It wasn’t as nice of quality as the others, but it still looked presentable.
She shyly introduced herself as Linh, and Forkle was glad he refrained from calling the Shade any sort of first name. He had known that the girl’s name was Linh, but not her brother’s. Now he knew that it was Tam.
“So, who exactly are you guys? And what do you want?” Tam demanded. He had been doing an admirable job of keeping his cool, but Forkle knew that every teenage boy had their breaking point. This was Tam Song’s, apparently. “Well, you know me and Sophie. Brown hair princess is Biana, inferior blond is Dex, brown hair idiot is Fitz, and Forkle is the old guy,” explained the Sencen boy. It was a surprisingly effective way of introducing people. It reminded Forkle of Prentince.
“I love your hair,” Biana told the Song girl. She blushed, but she still gave a polite nod.
“So, why exactly are you here?” questioned the Song boy. “You still haven't told us."
Forkle nodded. "Ms. Foster has made it a point to tell me how useful you two would be for the Black Swan. Should I assume that you don't know about the Black Swan?"
The Song girl looked at Forkle with a confused look. "First of all, doesn't Sophie use they/them pronouns? Also, we know what the black swan is."
Forkle felt a headache coming. The insistent nature of moonchildren were always draining. "I assure you that is just a phase. After all, moonchildren are just like the moon. They change. But the fact that that you two know what the black swan is very helpful. Would that be something you are interested?"
Tam glared at Forkle. "I don't know."
-------
(Sophie, telling Tam Keefe betrayed them in person {Keefe betrayed them because they threatened Tam and by the time they met Tam it was too late to back out})
(Tam,Shared Dream, this is when Sophie and Tam learn why Keefe betrayed them {Where? Alllueverte?})
(Grizel finds a journal in Keefe's room at the Neverseen base describing all of his dreams with his soulmates, but due to presuming they are just his imagination, throws them away.)
(Keefe, at Lumenaria)
(Sophie just breaks down about Amy with Tam and Keefe in a shared dream. She wakes up and realizes she sleep talked, and since she was with her parents, they heard her sleep talking)
(Lady Candence, Tam manages to go to Ravagog, and is impressed with how calm 'he' is)
(Ro, orgres can sense soulmates by scent, but didn't say anything until they are at Keefe's house, with Keefe on bed rest)
(Tam, being in his parents house)
(Bronte overhears a conversation, that will lead into Legacy, that implies Sokam are soulmates)
(Keefe/Tam force Sophie to calm down during Midterms, because yes elves are bad, but you're hurting yourself love)
(Linh, being enhanced and realizing that something must be off with either her ability or atlantis {Cause both times feel similar})
(Biana has a moment with Tam about their shared scars)
(Sophie has a moment with her parents while getting ready for Alvar's Tribunal)
(Tam, w/ shadowflux when Sophie and fitz first get attacked {Think of how this effects him during their visit? Maybe Lady Zillah? Idea: Shades can tell whether or not someone has met their soulmate, she tries to make him say who they are.) —
(Keefe, w/ skills training/ Ro being a pain)
(Lady Zillah realizes that Tam is soulmates with someone, and deduces that they are also a moonchild, which is why he can control shadowflux, at least to her. In reality, any child who experienced childhood trauma can)
(Sophie and Fitz under the tree, only it's Fedex because they're soulmates but can't tell anyone since Alden.)
(Tam, when he has to join the neverseen.)
(Keefe breaks down the fact that Tam is forced to fight against them)
(Sophie decides not to get a match list/ Linh visit)
(Tam being probed, but he manages to not have everything revealed )
(Keefe taking fathomleses, and what the silver journal means is his soulmate dreams)
(Sophie tells the councilors she isn't getting a match list, they are surprised but okay with it. Bronte brings up the idea that Sokam is a thing and Sophie has to come clean)
(Tam has a shared dream and ends up crying because of it)
(Keefe and biscuits.)
(Sophie's abilities are reset much earlier, due to not wanting to know who her biological parents are as much. Similar thing that happens in canon happens here.)
(The final showdown at the king's path. Unlike in canon, Tam is not told what he is supposed to do, Glitter just does it for him. It kind of goes according to plan, but Glitter goes first than Tam, so it kind of backfires and Glitter and Gisela get brutally injured, because Tams hurt Keefe and you aren't supposed to hurt your soulmates so there's a huge backlash. They all escape together, since almost everyone is unconscious)
(Elwin, realizes that they are soulmates by their cells and tells Eda and Grady, who tell everyone else and it kind of spirals. They wake up, and it's like they just manifested {Intense empathy, blacking out from the increased input from the shadows, not being able to block thoughts.)
(Sokam decides to tell the black swan, together. It's a third person omniscient, and that is the climax, with everyone hugging/yelling/slapping them)
({Potential ending}Flash forward, it's their wedding day and they are giving their vows. It's sickeningly sweet. Tam's POV, to end the way we began)
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