#another rant wohoo

[milkywayan]

As I rewatch all the historical farm docus again (i looove them so this is not a critique of hate but of love), there is something I think I have to point out, especially for people who are not as obsessed with this stuff as I am

They are talking about the british perspective.

Many things they say are correct for their geographical area, but not true for the rest of europe. and i have to say, sometimes they do get stuff about the rest of europe wrong (e.g. Ruth talks about the possibility of a woman having her own business in medieval england, saying that was not the case in the rest of europe, which is factually wrong as we, for example, have sources of women inheriting and running their own business in medieval vienna, and having important positions in guilds)

Also, they also once state that wine was expensive and a luxory, not adding 'in britain' and stating it as a fact, while this is of course not the case for a lot of regions with a lot of vinyards. going with the vienna example again, which is in a basin surrounded by low hills which are covered in vineyards since probably roman times (they still are today). there was even a ban of brewing beer comercially within the city to have people drink wine. it was generally not expensive

they also state people in the medieval times did not wash... which is also wrong. idk about england, i am not an expert, but we have a lot of german sources of paintings showing people in baths (not only nobles), there were loads of communal bath houses in medieval cities that show up in documents and in archaeological finds, there are references in literature (e.g. Parzival from the late 12th century, he is taught that he should wash every time after taking off his armour and he is full body washing himself regularly). They were not as cleanly as we are today, sure, but they knew with dirt came disease, they thought that bad smells carried disease, so why on earth would they not clean themselves?

so yea, i am of course speaking from a different geographical area, i focus on central europe/german sources and idk a lot about britain. but it is important to not just lump 'medieval europe' into one big pot

[emmalovesfitzloved]

Tell me a few things you love about Wessa!

Ahhh another ask from my fav Shadowhunter blogger! Wohoo! These are the first two things that comes to my head. But there are MORE ;)

Their dark academia aesthetic

The Dark academia aesthetic of their relationship. Now while this may come across as superficial, its more then just "loving books". It's the chaise and adventure they find in books that they then live by in their real lives. How they challenge each other in a conversation and insider jokes they share tethered in the novels they consume. Let the other rant about their favourite things and celebrate novels that invite the reader into more journeys beyond just their own. And the way they talk about characters, morals and plots as experiences and people they know almost intimately. How their choice of words matters, and they are economical about their feelings. Dark over light academia bc London is a dank dark city ahaha. And they feel well deep rather than feather light.

Their timeless love

Somewhat still related to novels, but I feel like what Cassandra Clare did with Wessa was the melting pot of all our favourite literary tropes/heroines in classical literature. Which gives it a sense of timelessness and makes them feel like they are 'endgame'.

I wrote previously that Tessa is the perfect blend between Jane Eyre and Elizabeth Bennet. She retains Jane Eyre’s contemplativeness, slight shyness, physical features, dry sarcasm and strong sense of self-actualisation. But also Elizabeth’s wildness, snappiness, boldness, passionate love and will for happiness, all without the arrogance that came with Austen’s heroine.

Meanwhile Will's darker side reminds me of Mr. Darcy in how he pushes those he loves away. John Thornton from North and South who is set in his ways slightly stalkerish (i'm a sucker for the stalker trope sorry not sorry) Will retains the mystery of Edward Rochester, where there is more depth to him that meets the eye and heck even Tessa says at one point that his mood swings remind him of the treacherous Heathcliff. Most of all he reminds me of Alexander from The Bronze Horseman (which only came out in the 90's but technically it came out before TID and is already considered a classic). Alexander and Will overlap in how they sacrifice their love and longing for a greater peace (War and to not upset a family) all for the love of their other one. They are deeply flawed and challenge the reader on their tolerance for forgiveness .

“I love you. I’m blind for you, wild for you. Sick with you. I told you that our first night together when I asked you to marry me, I am telling you now. Everything that’s happened to us, everything, is because I crossed the street for you. I worship you. You know that through and through…” (The Bronze Horseman)

“Alexander, you broke my heart. But for carrying me on your back, for pulling my dying sled, for giving me your last bread, for the body you destroyed for me, for the son you have given me, for the twenty-nine days we lived like Red Birds of Paradise, for all our Naples sands and Napa wines, for all the days you have been my first and last breath, for Orbeli- I will forgive you. ” (The Summer Garden).

And you find you can, because their love and longing for their partner is almost holy and like a religion to them. Those we love the most, hurt us the most, but in turn, they are also those who deserve the most grace and Mercy. If not for them, then for who?

"You are not the last dream of my soul. You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth." (Clockwork Prince).

This, coupled with the stakes of their relationship then as a unite (and also separately) echos a timber that reminds me of the setting we find in 19th century Russian literature (but with an HEA tysm CC my heart can't take it). This tragic longing we see in Anna Karenina where any choice Tessa makes she looses something in the same breath. The high apocalyptic war torn feel of War and Peace alongside the feeling of doom you get right at Chapter 1 in Clockwork Angel like we did in Crime and Punishment, when Raskolnikov kills a man, and it's all downhill from there.

Conclusion

CC wrote these two with the aim that they remain true to the history of their time, but blended it in with fresh modern air for us to be able to relate to and TRULY succeed. Who knew a historical romance about two book lovers could escalate so highly in the ranks? Now while they are so high up in the ranks of GOAT-ed couples in literature, they aren't without their flaws. Mainly not bc of the narrative or the character's choices but more to do with CC's discontinuation of their story linearly past TID. But that's a different ask for another time and tbh, that's where I seek out lovely fanfictions like the ones you create in order to fill in the blind spots CC didn't fill.

Thank you for this ask! I hope this was worth the read ILY @ibrushmyteeth-donttellanyone♡

Artistic Credit: Cassandra Jean

[v1ci0us]

first of all, i am the exact definition of excited. u haven’t posted in a while and now a surprise fic thags 10k?!! i am addicted to ur work no joke , the more words the better. also sam wohoo it’s like a treat fr

Things haven't been easy after everything that happened in Woodsboro, every day the weight on her shoulders worsens and she has no idea how to even start dealing with it. It only became worse after the rumors started.

:( she’s got so much going on i js wanna help her thru all that yk? baby don’t deserve it 

"Sam, this is Y/n, she's my sister," Quinn motioned to you with a grin.

"Sister?" Sam's eyes were huge as she looked between you and Quinn.

"Well, half-sister," Quinn concluded, "it's a long story."

mf after knowing quinn in the movie.. this makes me pause and wonder what ur plot is abt esther babe

There were several question marks twirling around in Sam's head, but the biggest one seemed to be why she found herself quite trapped in the way the images on the TV highlighted the lines of your jaw, cheeks, and lips. "I'm Samantha- Sam," she stumbled out quickly.

oh my god she’s so cute especially when she’s flustered, ughh the interest she’s instantly taken <3 won my heart alr

"He did, in passing, sometimes I heard the calls he'd give her to check in. But she's always been distant," Quinn shrugged.

hmm okok i understand now at least she’s innocent 

It was a mildly calm afternoon at the coffee shop Sam worked at.

she works at a coffee shop?? already making me fold okay sam i see u bae 

Part of Sam thinks she'd ironically recognize you anywhere. She realized you had that about you, something that felt unmistakable.

my girl is so romantic <3 i have no doubt that sam would literally be the perfect girlfriend who’s super protective and caring 

Secretly, Sam wondered if you'd be back some other day.

coffee shop au is top tier 🙏

You weren't exactly keen on meeting your sister for the first time all by yourself, but Quinn had been surprisingly easygoing; telling you all about how cool it was to have a sister instead of another brother.

i never liked quinn in the movie even from the beginning, but she at the least had good humor 

Ethan was distant, he was kind and polite, but you could tell he didn't want much to do with you.

🤮🤮🤮 crazy virgin boy 

Your father was, essentially, what you expected him to be; he was kind and attentive, obviously a little awkward just as you were, but he seemed to genuinely care about you; as much as one can care about a daughter they'd never met.

he’s a w father actually, got his heart in the right place with family being first and all (a little overboard though)

The youngest of Quinn's roommates took an instant liking to you. Your personality matched Tara's quite well, you were happy to hear every gossip she liked the share about her colleagues at the university and the usual rant about her sister.

omg tara is literally my bae , i know this is a sam fic but any mention of tara makes me want to kiss her 

Sam, she was not an easy one to read; at first, you thought she might not even like you, but Tara explained that 'that's just how she is, she'll warm up to you eventually'.

gurl wym sam is alr so obsessed w u 

Maybe that was part of the reason why you found yourself creating a habit of stopping by a certain coffee shop — after all, they served delicious food and drinks and the place was really cozy; the doe-eyed brunette who worked there was a bonus.

she’s so cute of course she’d be working at a cafe she’s so perfect oh my goddd blushing so hard at sam n her pretty eyes

It started with her serious expression changing to a small smile whenever she saw you, then she started greeting you by your name, and recently, she has been drawing little smiley faces on your cup.

Oh MY GODDD the smile faces ?!! no joke it has me kicking my feet giggling like crazy sam is gonna b the death of me. me personally i would fold SO hard

Selfishly, Sam wanted to think that this specific smile of yours belonged to her.

babe i belong to u entirely <3

That's how, after dinner, you found yourself laying with Tara on her bed as you watched a movie of her choosing.

both of the carpenter sisters have me hooked but tara especially shes js so squishable and adorable 

Until your eyes landed on the bigger couch of the living room and you saw Sam; she was curled up there, fast asleep with her hands under her head and knees tucked up to her chest, looking much smaller than she actually was, just barely being highlighted by the kitchen light.

You couldn't help the swelling of your heart. She was undeniably endearing.

ur hand in marriage pls!?!??! esther u did it again u sneak, this fic is going to stay in my heart and soul for at least 3 weeks babe, like literally everything else u write

Sam's lips parted, her mouth going dry and her doe eyes glinting with a sudden vulnerability. The grip she had around your jacket tightened.

how could anybody not fall for this girl? she’s so sweet inside and ugnskfkskdsm can’t even explain it—just perfect honestly

The hug was brief but welcomed. He kept one hand on your shoulder when he pulled away, seemingly taking a good look at you as a sincere smile appeared on his expression; "thank you for coming, I know we've never been too close, but I would like us to be."

awww (is he gonna try to lure us in or something with sam n shi 😾)

Her cellphone vibrated again, and this time it was a picture of you and Tara making silly faces while you held her close.

tara is the love of my life i need her like crazy 

The smile that came to Sam's lips was as big as ever, her heart beating painfully against her ribs as if it was trying to leap from her chest and into the screen of her phone; all so it could reach you.

Sam typed back; 'I owe you one.'

She held back on sending a heart emoji.

actuallt i am also falling for sam more each word she just needs loads of kisses and i am more than happy 2 oblige 😍😘

"Hi," Sam stumbled out, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she cleared her throat, "the usual?"

is sam adorable, yes or yes? it’s factual at this point

The touch of her skin on yours felt electric. Sam pulled her hand back quickly, timidly curling her fingers to try and keep the feeling of you a little longer. "This one is on me," her voice wasn't nearly as confident as it needed to be for that line.

cnanngammfs me personally i would be falling to the ground , the way she’s shy with dusted cheeks is mesmerizing — i say as this is literally words but also has a film reel playing in my head because yourwords are like magic and entirely different from anything else 

And if she went to bed that night with the ghost of a smile on her lips because you kissed her cheek goodbye earlier, that was nobody's business but hers.

WHATTT we bold fr huh , that’s so sweet already progressing in our relationship w sam

"You invited her?" Quinn started.

stop mf i ain’t trust u to not ruin our relationship ✋

Tara had her lips hung open, being the last one to catch up on her sister's painfully obvious crush.

AHAHAA tara is so baby girl

Sam saw herself smiling at the screen of her phone, at the small heart emoji you added beside the text.

😯😯😯 hearts already? that’s crazy

Her eyes involuntarily roamed up and down your body, always engraving the image of you in her mind as if it was the first and last time she'd be seeing you; even if she has known you for nearly two months now.

oh my god i just know sam is such a hopeless romantic especially in a relationship because who says this?? grasps onto even unnamed relationships and feels love similar to warmth in mere appearance 

"You bet I'm cold," without much of a warning, you brought one hand up and cupped Sam's cheek; the coldness of your skin contrasted with the warmth of hers.

i gasped i gasped no joke 

You followed her willingly, nuzzling against her shoulder as you walked.

so cute this is so accurate and realistic because i too, would nuzzle into sam’s shoulder

You're both not sure when this newfound intimacy happened. But you weren't complaining. Your heart was so full of Sam that you could hardly call it your own anymore. And Sam doesn't know what happiness means if it isn't written with the letters of your name.

hello??!! esther wtf i am getting this engraved forever permanently in my soul and heart like this is sucha gorgeous paragraph it literally took my breath away. ur so talented i swear 

Another beat of silence, and then; "I don't know why they hate me so much." Was all Sam told you, her voice nothing but a whisper that broke in the middle.

that’s actually so sad i feel horrible because of how much this is affecting her

Sam clung to you as if you'd vanish into thin air any minute. Both her arms instantly came around your shoulders in a close-knit grip as she bunched the fabric of your coat between her fingers.

You adjusted your hold around her waist, mimicking the same strength she held you with. Part of you knew she needed to feel that kind of reassuring pressure, shielding her away from reality.

this is so sweet and honestly i would hold her forever if it meant she’d feel just a little happier 

Under the warm orange glow of the fairy lights of your bedroom, Sam could count the specks of color in your eyes. She could drown in the ocean that was you and everything you made her feel.

it’s genuinely crazy how your fingers form such poetry that is captivating to the point nobody else could ever compare 

Turning around, you were met with the endearing sight of Sam in your clothes, her hair still damp and cheeks now flushed from the hot water of the shower. She looked like your favorite dream.

she is my favorite dream and there is no other (excluding tara)

Her eyes followed each of your movements though, her pupils blown wide and reflecting the vulnerability of a heart that started beating for you, for you, for you.

bye i have melted onto the floor i cannot esther u are legitimately killing me 

You were gentle, so much so that Sam hardly felt your lips. You guided her into a chaste kiss, just a touch of your soft lips that fitted perfectly with hers. So perfectly, she'd dare say you were made just for her.

Small as it was, the gesture of affection got Sam grasping at your waist; her hands holding onto you with the same desperation as before. As if happiness, for her, was limited.

i have no words right now, but this part is genuinely going to live inside me forever with how much it’s rotting my teeth with its gentleness

You clashed your lips together, not holding back this time, because if she didn't believe your words, she would believe your touch; she would believe the way your hands tangled in her hair and how your tongue brushed over her bottom lip, tasting the lingering sweetness of hot chocolate there.

can you tell how much u adore this?? because right now it’s being tattooed onto my heart that’s saving this in its memory as a comfort read

Yet, between each breathless kiss, you'd mumble, "I promise."

And Sam would hold you more firmly, her arms encircling your waist as she traced a path down your neck with her lips, confessions rolling off her tongue.

You had her at your mercy; she was yours. But you were hers too.

oh my goddd i r acyualyl going insane i’ve lost my mind this is so fucking good your romance is literally a drug better than everything else 

It felt nice to hear the words out loud, it made them all the more real — as if your make-out session from a few days ago wasn't enough.

ms gurl that was the Most Intimate thing i have ever read ain’t no way the mutual obsession and passion isn’t obvious 🙄🙄

It was almost magical, how your voice sent a wave of easiness through Sam's body. It was almost as if you carefully reached inside her chest and took away the burden there.

it is magical with how u entrance me into ur stories esther , holding me hostage fr 

She didn't give you much of a warning before bringing you into a searing kiss, her hands cupped your cheeks and she had your bottom lip trapped between hers; chasing the feeling only you could give her.

this is exactly how i envision sam , you wrote her perfectly because i don’t think she would be short anything of passionate

"I missed you," she spoke against your lips.

You kissed the words, frowning playfully, "you saw me this afternoon."

"Exactly," Sam's smile stretched further, "too long," and then she was leaning in again, and again, and again.

i am actually going to marry her if this continues i can’t even she’s so fucking everything and i just need her  

You'd lost count of how many guys she threatened because of you already, each time you went out for drinks together and a strange dude decided to try his luck with you Sam would pull out her taser and aim it right where it hurts most.

HELP LMAOO i love her sm what a cutie fr , love the overprotectiveness makes me wanna burrow in her skin

anyways did i stay up to read and finish this? absolutely i have no regrets. i loved this so so so much esther i could never forget how your writing makes me feel. words may come out a lil funky cus it’s like about to be 2 am rn but i love u so much and i’m incredibly impressed

goodnicht bae 😘

souls tied, bound to burn | ch 1

Samantha Carpenter x Reader

Summary: Your move to New York came suddenly, in the hopes of getting closer to what was left of your family. What you weren't expecting was to fall for your sister's roommate, Sam; and little did you know, she'd be your doom, in the prettiest of ways.

A/N: I feel like this story is told in moments, but I do like how it turned out; it is, after all, a story that I poured my heart and soul into. This is one which took many of my sleepless nights, but it was so worth it bringing this idea to life. Cannot thank @iamnicodemus enough for basically being my beta reader and helping me with everything. There will be two more parts to this storyline, but I can't say when they will be posted, as I'm still writing them.

Word count: 10k (limit? never heard of her)

Masterlist

One thing that Sam was still trying to get used to after moving to New York was the lack of calmness.

She had just finished her session with yet another therapist, it was past 10 PM, and the streets were still as busy as ever. There was no shortage of cars or people passing by her as she walked back to her apartment. Sometimes it could be overwhelming and she couldn't get home fast enough. Sometimes it helped to keep her mind a little quieter.

Sam was still unsure of what it felt like today, maybe a mix of both.

Things haven't been easy after everything that happened in Woodsboro, every day the weight on her shoulders worsens and she has no idea how to even start dealing with it. It only became worse after the rumors started.

The steps up the stairs to her apartment felt like a whole workout, after working the entire day Sam was absolutely drained. The hunch on her posture and faint dark bags under her eyes said as much.

Nearing the door, she could hear faint voices coming from inside, one of them she didn't recognize. The tensing of her muscles was inevitable.

Sam turned the doorknob and slowly made her way inside, she closed the door behind her without turning around. There wasn't anything different about the place — TV turned on, cheap yellow lights in the kitchen illuminating the dirty dishes on the sink, low music coming from Tara's room — except Quinn was talking with someone on the couch.

Though Sam didn't know who it was, she already relaxed at the fact that there was no trouble in sight.

She ran a hand through her hair whilst walking to the kitchen, there were leftovers of dinner on two pans over the stove; but despite only having lunch on her stomach, she wasn't hungry. Picking up a clean cup, she filled it with water on the sink and gulped it down.

"Hey, Sam's home," Quinn announced with a chipper voice.

Sam closed her eyes with a sigh before managing a smile, she really didn't feel like socializing right now. But she turned to Quinn anyway.

The girl was perched over the back of the couch, waving Sam over, "come here, I want you to meet someone."

Involuntarily, Sam's eyes drifted to the one who sat beside Quinn; it was a girl she had never seen before, but the gentle smile on her lips made Sam hesitate in her steps. She did walk up to them though, making herself comfortable on the loveseat beside Quinn.

"Sam, this is Y/n, she's my sister," Quinn motioned to you with a grin.

"Sister?" Sam's eyes were huge as she looked between you and Quinn.

"Well, half-sister," Quinn concluded, "it's a long story."

You then gave them a tight-lipped smile, raising your hand in an awkward wave whilst looking at Sam, "it's uh- a pleasure to meet you."

There were several question marks twirling around in Sam's head, but the biggest one seemed to be why she found herself quite trapped in the way the images on the TV highlighted the lines of your jaw, cheeks, and lips. "I'm Samantha- Sam," she stumbled out quickly.

Quinn raised her eyebrows in amusement, a beat of silence passed before she tilted her head towards Sam, "yep, that's Samantha Sam."

The older Carpenter kicked herself internally about ten thousand times. That was awful.

A weird weight filled the air after that. Sam didn't know what to do with herself, she didn't know if she should stay or just go and lock herself in her room. She ended up settling for pretending to watch the TV while you spoke with Quinn. From what Sam heard, you had just arrived in town and were staying in a hotel until you could find an apartment, because apparently, your mother had left a significant amount of money in your name; she also overheard that you were yet to go visit your father.

When it was nearing midnight, you decided to leave, saying something about it already being too late.

Sam watched as Quinn walked you to the door and bid you goodbye with a brief hug. And before the door clicked close, your gaze caught Sam's and you gave her that same gentle smile she'd seen earlier; all the same, it froze her, and Sam saw herself just staring back at you with an emotion even she couldn't place.

Quinn dragged herself back to the living room then, laying down on the empty couch to wait for the inevitable interrogation.

"I didn't know you had a sister," Sam started eventually, mindlessly switching through channels. The room was dimly lit, with the only other lights coming from the kitchen, the brightness of the TV hurt her tired eyes.

"Neither did I."

At that, Sam's attention was fully on Quinn, her brows furrowed.

Quinn shook her head, dismissing the worry, "I mean, I knew, sort of," she explained, "she's from a fling my dad had before he met my mom, I think they broke up when she was born and her mom took her to Boston. Never met her until like, yesterday."

Now, the pieces from what Sam had heard were starting to come together. She wondered just how detached you were from this side of your family until now. "And your father never told you had a sister?"

"He did, in passing, sometimes I heard the calls he'd give her to check in. But she's always been distant," Quinn shrugged.

Sam mulled over the words in her mind, part of her couldn't help but feel wary, "why is she here?"

"Her mother died, she has no other family left."

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

It didn't take long for Sam to bump into you again. It happened actually only two days after your visit to Quinn at their apartment.

It was a mildly calm afternoon at the coffee shop Sam worked at. At least for a Thursday, it felt calm. Just a few booths had people sitting on them, and every few minutes someone would stop by to grab a cup of coffee to go.

What the place lacked in fanciness it made up for in coziness — between her shifts here during the week and at the bowling alley on the weekends, it was easy for Sam to pick a favorite, nothing beats the vibe of a coffee shop — the place held warm tones to its decor, brick walls here and there with a few black boards hung up that had order choices written on them with white chalk; there was also a vintage radio on the corner that Sam always sneakily changed the songs of.

Against her own beliefs, she became rather good at preparing lattes and cappuccinos. She mentioned it to Tara once, and the girl said she'd believe it once she drinks it; Sam has been waiting for her to stop by.

Though as with everything, it wasn't perfect. Even before the rumors blaming her for the murders started, Sam was already an outsider, not quite allowed to fit in. She had no friends amongst the staff, only colleagues; and after the rumors, she even considered that to be a stretch.

Sam doesn't mind. She tells herself as much every day before walking in for work. But feeling judgemental eyes burning into your back at least once a day tends to take its toll on someone.

So she keeps to herself, she does her job, and she tries not to give them more reasons to bother her.

The small bell above the door dinged as someone came in, pulling Sam back to the present when she realized she would be the one taking the order.

She straightened her posture and smoothed down her uniform, looking around on the counter for her notepad and pen. Upon finding them, Sam finally glanced up and felt her breathing get momentarily stuck, the usual 'what can I get for you' dying on her tongue.

Part of Sam thinks she'd ironically recognize you anywhere. She realized you had that about you, something that felt unmistakable.

Same thing that happened to her apparently happened to you as well, as your lips hovered yet no words came out. It was that weird moment of I know you but I don't actually know you yet.

You were the first to talk, and Sam wanted to thank you for it. "Hey," you chuckled, somewhat awkwardly, "it's uh- Sam, right? It's nice to see you again."

Try as she might, Sam wasn't able to hold your gaze, she glanced down at her hands before looking at you again, "that's me," she gave you a small smile, "can I get you anything?"

"Yeah…" You dragged on, stuffing your hands on the pockets of your jeans as your gaze skimmed over the order options, "just a simple cappuccino to go, please." You eventually decided.

Sam felt your eyes on her as she scribbled your order down, even if it was just a cappuccino, she had the habit to write them all down. "Coming right up," she said, before turning around to make your order.

Ever since she started working here, she has probably made more than a hundred cappuccinos; yet she found herself checking things twice over. Espresso, steamed milk, foam. Everything carefully poured down on the cup.

You were standing right where she left you once she brought the order to you. That same gentle smile she saw two nights ago was present on your lips when you paid her and bid her goodbye.

Secretly, Sam wondered if you'd be back some other day.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

It was never your plan to come to New York, let alone on your own. But tragedy strikes when you least expect it.

When, on one of his monthly calls to check in on you, you broke the news to your father that your mother had passed, he told you you should come live closer to him if you wanted to. And honestly, not feeling so alone in the world felt appealing.

So you packed everything you had of value, and took the leap. You had your mother to thank for being able to simply do that out of nowhere, she'd left everything of hers in your name, including her company's income.

But money hardly solves all problems, because you never actually met your father's side of the family. All you had were his phone calls, where he would sometimes briefly mention a sister you'd get along with if you were to meet, and not much else.

Upon knowing you'd be coming to the city, he gave you Quinn's contact, promising she would help you find a place to stay. You weren't exactly keen on meeting your sister for the first time all by yourself, but Quinn had been surprisingly easygoing; telling you all about how cool it was to have a sister instead of another brother. And the question 'I have a brother too?' lingered on your tongue, but you thought it would be a weird thing to ask. That was a few days ago, and you settled in a hotel for the time being.

In any way, you had a lot of catching up to do.

And now, anxiety was bubbling relentlessly in your stomach and you clutched tightly at the straps of your backpack. The police station was kinda busy at this time of day, but it was exactly the time he asked you to come in, so you did.

You didn't know exactly what to feel other than anxiety. How is one supposed to feel when they're about to see their father for the first time in their life?

It's a weird situation, though you couldn't really blame your mother for it; yes she took you away shortly after you were born, but from what she told you, she and your father didn't end on the best of terms. From the moment you were born, she'd been protective.

You reached the front desk, worrying your lower lip between your teeth. "Hello," you greeted the woman there.

She glanced up from the pile of papers she'd been sorting out, "hi there, what can I do for you?"

"Um- Detective Bailey asked me to stop by," you explained, and the woman in front of you raised an unamused eyebrow. Even before saying it, the words already felt somewhat strange in your mouth, "he's my father."

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

Your first two weeks in New York were hectic. Meeting a whole new side of your family was a strange experience, but you'd say it went well. Quinn was the easiest of all, she treated you as if you were one of her friends from university and you appreciated it. Ethan was distant, he was kind and polite, but you could tell he didn't want much to do with you. Your father was, essentially, what you expected him to be; he was kind and attentive, obviously a little awkward just as you were, but he seemed to genuinely care about you; as much as one can care about a daughter they'd never met.

Quinn had been quite insistent on having a sister bonding time with you, so you'd find yourself at her apartment more often than not. This led to you being acquainted with Mindy, Anika, and Chad, who were around just as much as you; plus Sam and Tara, of course.

The youngest of Quinn's roommates took an instant liking to you. Your personality matched Tara's quite well, you were happy to hear every gossip she liked the share about her colleagues at the university and the usual rant about her sister.

Sam, she was not an easy one to read; at first, you thought she might not even like you, but Tara explained that 'that's just how she is, she'll warm up to you eventually'.

Maybe that was part of the reason why you found yourself creating a habit of stopping by a certain coffee shop — after all, they served delicious food and drinks and the place was really cozy; the doe-eyed brunette who worked there was a bonus.

You'd usually stop by later on in the afternoon, when the sunlight had that deep golden glow just an hour or so before disappearing behind the horizon. It was a time of day the coffee shop was a little more crowded, but not as much as it was in the mornings.

Every time you walked in, you found yourself involuntarily looking for Sam; deep down feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush because of the butterflies that invaded your stomach whenever she remembered your order.

You quickly realized the importance of details with Sam. The more you came to eat at the coffee shop, the slightly more comfortable she became with you. It started with her serious expression changing to a small smile whenever she saw you, then she started greeting you by your name, and recently, she has been drawing little smiley faces on your cup.

The usual booth you'd sit at was tucked in a more reserved corner, just beside one of the windows; you liked the privacy. Each time that Sam brought your cappuccino and apple pie, you held yourself back from asking if she could sit down and have a coffee with you.

Maybe tomorrow, you'd think to yourself.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

The smell of freshly made lasagna filled the whole apartment. If you had a good enough sense of smell, you'd be able to tell it was just the slightest bit burned, but no one seemed to care.

Mindy and Chad could be heard bickering about how to properly take said lasagna out of the oven without causing a disaster, Tara was opening up a cheap wine bottle while Anika set the dining table, and Quinn was switching through channels on the TV.

It was a pleasant sight for someone who wasn't used to many of those.

Sam had just gotten out of the shower, towel in her hands as she finished drying off her hair. She had managed to get out of work earlier today and ditched therapy so she could have dinner with her found family — which honestly felt more like therapy than actual therapy.

A chuckle escaped Sam's lips when Mindy called her brother a moron with a halfhearted slap on the back of his head.

And then, three soft knocks came from the front door.

"I got it," Sam told them, hanging her towel over her shoulder as she got over to the door and steadily undid all the locks in it. She knew who it was, Quinn warned you'd be coming for dinner today too. Sam felt a little childish when anticipation started twirling in her stomach.

Selfishly, Sam wanted to think that this specific smile of yours belonged to her.

"Hi," she greeted you with the same softness you stared back at her with; for the second time today, the first being at the coffee shop. Sam figured she wouldn't mind seeing you more often, "come in, dinner is almost ready."

"Hey Sam," you smiled timidly as you walked past her and inside the apartment.

Sam has known you for a little over two weeks, and there should be alarms blaring inside her head for the way she felt so naturally drawn to you. But there wasn't, there was only the softness of your presence and the way she wanted to drown in it.

"Hey new girl," Mindy called, her voice ringing loudly through the room as she peeked over from the kitchen with a grin, "you like lasagna?"

"Of course," you grinned, taking off your jacket and failing to see the way Sam's gaze lingered a little too long on you, "who doesn't like lasagna?"

Mindy pointed a finger at you, "right answer," she quipped before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Sam awkwardly cleared her throat next to you, "let me take this for you."

You glanced beside you to see the girl subtly gesturing for your jacket, unsure if the redness of her cheeks was a trick of the light or not. "Oh, thanks, Sam."

"Alright y'all, dinner's on the table," Mindy announced, getting everyone to flock to the dining room.

It was maybe after the second or third time you'd stopped by that you had unconsciously assigned a seat for yourself at their table. Ironically, it was the one beside Sam.

If you were being honest with yourself, you had a lot to thank this peculiar group of friends; if it wasn't for all the laughs they managed to pull out of you at each dinner, maybe settling in on the new city wouldn't have gone so smoothly. They sure took away the feeling of loneliness that had been steadily collecting in your chest ever since your mother passed.

And you had found a reason to like every single one of them; Mindy was naturally funny and made you feel as welcome as if you'd known her your whole life, and so did Anika; Chad was the exact opposite of what you'd picture him to be, sharing his sister's tendency for kindness; Sam was… you couldn't find a word to describe her quite yet, maybe entrancing could work; and Tara, well, you'd just found out tonight she shared your penchant for horror movies.

That's how, after dinner, you found yourself laying with Tara on her bed as you watched a movie of her choosing.

"You know, I'm glad you decided to come to New York," Tara told you out of the blue, the sound coming from her TV almost covering her voice.

Her room was dimly lit, the only source of light being the TV itself and a small lamp on her desk, you could barely make out her features. "I am too, I'm sure glad I met you guys."

Tara chuckled fondly at that, "Sam seems to like you," she told you quietly, her voice sounding as if she was letting you in on a pretty secret, "she could use a friend, you know."

You caught the hidden words in her soft tone. You weren't blind to how lonely Sam tended to be sometimes. Isolating herself even in a room full of people who cared about her.

Though it stunned you for a brief moment that Tara was asking that of you, you wondered if she saw something you didn't. At this point, you already knew of their story, at least partially; from articles online about the Woodsboro killings, and consequently, from the rumors circling around about Sam. Needless to say, your heart broke for them.

"I'd be happy to be her friend, if she'd have me," you meant it.

The movie extended longer than you predicted and Tara was already dozing off on your shoulder by the time the credits rolled. So you carefully turned off her TV and sneaked yourself out of her bed, your steps as light as a feather touching the floor.

You closed the door to her room with extreme delicacy and only as you turned around, did you notice the absolute darkness of the rest of the apartment.

It looked like everyone had already called it a night.

The only thing illuminating your steps was the soft orange glow coming in through the windows from the street lamps outside. The apartment held an eery silence to it, the clean plates and cutlery you all had used earlier rested on top of the table, there was an occasional sound of water droplets falling from the kitchen sink, and the red numbers of the clock on the coffee table read 12:37 AM.

The darkness and silence were a striking contrast to the commotion from earlier.

You opted for turning on the lights in the kitchen so you could look for your jacket and go home for the night; though after a good five minutes of unsuccessful searching you were almost considering leaving without it. That's when a soft, barely there whimper caught your ears.

It got a cold shiver running up and down your back, momentarily making you imagine yourself in a horror movie.

Until your eyes landed on the bigger couch of the living room and you saw Sam; she was curled up there, fast asleep with her hands under her head and knees tucked up to her chest, looking much smaller than she actually was, just barely being highlighted by the kitchen light.

You couldn't help the swelling of your heart. She was undeniably endearing.

There was the sound of a siren passing by in the distance. You looked out the window by instinct, but you couldn't see where exactly it came from.

When your eyes settled back on Sam, you found her clutching at the cushions under her head, a frown etched unpleasantly on her eyebrows. Her hair was messy, you realized; maybe from tossing and turning too much.

You were genuinely not sure what got into you, it's not like you have enough intimacy to even be seeing her like this. But you crouched down in front of her, one hand coming to rest gently on her shoulder.

Before you could even fully touch her, Sam was already stirring awake. Her body was visibly tense and her eyes a tad too wide and alert for someone who just woke up.

"I'm… sorry," you said quietly, feeling embarrassment crawling up your neck and to your cheeks, "sorry I woke you up."

Sam held herself up with her elbow, her free hand running through her messy hair. She wasn't looking at you, attempting to regulate her unsteady breathing.

You could see it from the way her chest moved up and down quickly. And there you followed a single drop of sweat running down from her neck to her collarbone. The night was far too cold for her to be sweating.

You wanted to reach out, but didn't. "I was just wondering where you put my jacket," you continued when she remained quiet.

Sam felt bare in front of you, somewhat timid. There were goosebumps rising on her skin. She nearly didn't find her voice, "I'll go get it for you."

You waited for her by the front door, shifting on your feet. She came back with your jacket in her hands, clutching tightly onto it so you wouldn't catch the shaking of her fingers. But you did, you also caught onto the hollowness of her eyes and the hair clinging to her damp forehead. You knew it wasn't your place to ask, but Sam looked so alone in the darkness of the apartment, that you feared she might let herself be swallowed by it the moment you leave.

"Are you okay?"

Sam's expression did something complicated, unsure of how to feel. Several beats passed in silence, as if she was considering how to answer you. Eventually, she nodded softly, "I'm alright, just tired from work."

It was a half-truth. You had been there today when a group of teenagers came into the coffee shop, one of them casting accusatory glances at Sam as he whispered — quite loudly — the word 'murderer' to his friends. You weren't able to wave her goodbye after that. She stayed hidden in the back.

Maybe your heart felt something it wasn't telling you yet, because it was hurting, for her. "For what it's worth," the words rolled off your tongue in a soft whisper, "I don't believe them."

Sam's lips parted, her mouth going dry and her doe eyes glinting with a sudden vulnerability. The grip she had around your jacket tightened.

Your smile was bittersweet this time, "the rumors, I don't believe them."

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

"I don't think I see you," you spoke on the phone, squinting at the evening sun shining on your eyes as you walked the busy streets of New York.

Last night your father had called you just before he left the police station, asking if maybe you would like to have an afternoon snack with him today; stop by at a popular bakery to catch up on lost time.

You felt an unfamiliar warmth on your chest at the request, agreeing promptly. He was trying to form a connection with you, and honestly, it was something you wanted too. You already lost one parent, you didn't fancy losing the other.

"I see you."

He spoke over the phone.

"Look to your right."

You followed his instructions and sure enough, he was on the other side of the street, his arms up and obnoxiously waving you over so you'd see him.

A chuckle escaped you as you hurriedly crossed the street, tucking your phone into the back pocket of your jeans. You smiled tentatively then, slowly closing the distance between you and him without knowing if you should lean in for a hug or extend your hand for a shake.

Bailey decided for you, he was opening his arms before you even reached him.

The hug was brief but welcomed. He kept one hand on your shoulder when he pulled away, seemingly taking a good look at you as a sincere smile appeared on his expression; "thank you for coming, I know we've never been too close, but I would like us to be."

You reached up to the hand he still had on your shoulder and squeezed his wrist in reassurance, "I would like it too."

That was enough to cut through the awkward bits of tension still lingering between you. Part of you felt like you were fifteen again, giddy for having your father dedicate a whole afternoon for you and you only.

It didn't make the pain of losing your mother go away, but it engulfed it into something more bearable. Something you could get used to.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

It was about an hour after lunch that Sam received a rather urgent call from Tara. The only words she managed to focus on were "asthma attack" and "inhaler at the apartment."

The problem? Sam was basically on the other side of town.

Her first option was Mindy, but the girl wasn't picking up her phone. And then neither was Chad. Her last resort was calling her own apartment in the hopes that Quinn was home and could drive to the university with Tara's inhaler.

The line ringed, and ringed, and ringed. Until…

"Hello?"

The thought about why she recognized your voice so easily flew by. "Y/n?" Sam stopped in her tracks, forcing the other people on the sidewalk to walk around her.

"Sam?"

"What are you-"

"No, I didn't break into your apartment."

Sam heard your chuckle from the other end of the line.

"I stopped by to bring something to Quinn."

"Y/n, I need you to-" Sam took in a deep breath, running a hand through her hair and gripping at the roots of it. She closed her eyes tightly, "Tara is having an asthma attack and she left her inhaler at the apartment, could you ask Quinn to-"

"Sam, calm down."

Your soft voice made Sam realize she was having trouble breathing.

"Breathe, okay? I'll take it to her, I'm less than five minutes away by bike, I'll let you know when I get there."

Sam bit at the inside of her cheek, nodding even though you couldn't see it, "thank you."

Only mere minutes passed by — though they felt much longer than usual — until Sam received a text from you, it read 'hey' and she could see you were still typing.

Sam held onto her breath and only released it once you sent her the next text, which read 'all is good'. Instant relief washed over her and she leaned back on the wall of the random store she was standing in front of.

Her cellphone vibrated again, and this time it was a picture of you and Tara making silly faces while you held her close.

The smile that came to Sam's lips was as big as ever, her heart beating painfully against her ribs as if it was trying to leap from her chest and into the screen of her phone; all so it could reach you.

Sam typed back; 'I owe you one.'

She held back on sending a heart emoji.

It was becoming increasingly harder to deny the way she started feeling about you; how you seemingly occupied a place in her heart no one else could have; or how she hoped to see you walk into the coffee shop every day, because, on the off chance you didn't, something felt out of place, missing.

Maybe it was time for her to do something about it.

And the opportunity presented itself on the very next day.

It was a cloudy Tuesday afternoon, the coffee shop lacking its usual golden rays that came through the window at this time of day. There was a slightly colder breeze in the air, it came through each time a new customer opened the door and it forced Sam to wear her jacket on top of her uniform.

Sam had been anticipating your arrival ever since the clock hit 4 PM, which was the time you usually stopped by. She couldn't help looking up at the door each time she heard the bell above it.

It scared her, to take a chance like this. Trusting people with your heart only opens room for them to break it. She knows it.

But oh you made her want to turn a blind eye to every single risk, and fear, and doubt.

Sam wondered, for a moment, if destiny was playing with her. Because when the clock hit 4:47 PM you walked through the coffee shop's doors and the sky just so happened to have a crack in its clouds, casting a faded glow that bathed you aureate for a moment.

Sam's eyes were unfocused, caught in a daze that was only broken when you were already standing in front of her.

"Good afternoon, Sam," you smiled, your cheeks flushed from the cold wind outside.

"Hi," Sam stumbled out, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she cleared her throat, "the usual?"

"Please," you confirmed, already reaching inside your backpack for your wallet, but Sam's hand on your forearm stopped you.

The touch of her skin on yours felt electric. Sam pulled her hand back quickly, timidly curling her fingers to try and keep the feeling of you a little longer. "This one is on me," her voice wasn't nearly as confident as it needed to be for that line.

You were about to open your mouth to protest, but she beat you to it; "please, let me do this. As a thank you for you helping Tara yesterday."

A sly smile crept into your lips, your eyes roaming over Sam up and down before you spoke; "only if you drink something with me."

Your boldness surprised Sam, in the best of ways. She was burning up inside, her heart working overtime to keep up with her feelings. Despite the cold, she felt suddenly warm.

"I have a break in ten."

When Sam brought your order to your table — the usual table in the far right corner near the biggest window — she sat down in front of you. She carefully placed down your cappuccino and apple pie before closing both her hands around the simple cup of coffee she had for herself.

You took your time with taking a sip from your drink, closing your eyes when the slightly sweet, warm beverage hit your tongue.

Sam followed each movement, from the way your fingers closed around the mug to the way the corner of your lips lifted just the smallest bit after tasting the coffee she made — for a moment you were all she could see. Though she shook herself off of it pretty quickly, realizing how it might be creepy. Sam took a generous drink of her coffee as well.

"Do you like it?" Came the sudden sweetness of your voice, "working at a coffee shop?"

A faint smell of burnt bread reached Sam's nose, it was probably Enrique forgetting about the oven again. She could hear loud chatter happening at the entrance of the coffee shop, it was probably the five students who usually stopped by at this time of day. Sam was hesitating. Between apartment visits because of Quinn and everyday meet-ups for her to make you coffee, Sam didn't plan for herself coming this far with you.

"Could be worse," were the words that eventually escaped her mouth, "beats the bowling alley."

You chuckled, a lovely sound as you sheepishly glanced down, your thumb tracing the edge of your mug. Sam wanted to pull her cell phone out and trap this moment in time; it felt precious enough to do so.

"I definitely prefer coming to coffee shops instead of bowling alleys," you smirked.

Sam somewhat mimicked your smile, "are you liking New York?"

You hummed, choosing to take a bite of your pie before answering, "all things considered, I am. It's a lot of getting used to," you had a faraway gaze out the window then, leaning your chin on your hand, "meeting a whole new side of my family is… strange. But we're getting along surprisingly well, I've been going out with my father at least once a week, Ethan is more distant but still nice whenever we meet, and, well, I've been visiting Quinn quite regularly, as you know."

Sam took in each of your words, softly nodding along, "it's good one of us is feeling at home, sort of." She gulped, mulling over her next words, "you know you're welcome at the apartment whenever. Tara adores you… everyone does."

If you caught Sam's 'I adore you' you didn't comment on it. Instead, you asked; "how are you settling in? Tara mentioned you guys moved in only a few weeks before I did."

That had Sam holding back a sigh. She leaned back on her side of the booth, "feels like all the shit that happened in Woodsboro followed us all the way here."

Some days were better than others. Some days the weight on her shoulders felt more bearable and the people around her weren't as menacing with their baseless accusations. Some days were worse.

"I'm sorry about everything that's been going on the internet about you," you said.

Sam met your eyes and found there a gentleness no one had ever looked at her with.

"You don't deserve it, Sam."

Being with you was as easy as breathing. For a fleeting moment inside the walls of the coffee shop, there were no rumors crucifying Sam for something she didn't do; there were no bad memories taking her sleep at night; there were no permanent scars marking her skin — there was only Samantha, the girl who had almost forgotten what it felt like to just worry about which words to say next to impress the girl she developed feelings for.

And if she went to bed that night with the ghost of a smile on her lips because you kissed her cheek goodbye earlier, that was nobody's business but hers.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

"Guys, what do you say we order pizza for tonight?" Sam threw the idea into the night.

It was nearing 7 PM and it was a Saturday, meaning it was the unofficial girl's night of the week. Sam, Mindy, Anika, Tara, and Quinn sat together in the living room of Sam's apartment watching a random action movie. Dinner time was nearing and none of them really fancied cooking tonight.

"I think it's a good idea," Mindy agreed, leaning back on the couch and pulling Anika with her, "do you think one is enough for the five of us?"

"Six," Sam spoke without looking up from her phone, already searching for the pizza place's number, "I invited Y/n over."

Save for the movie playing in the background, there was a sudden silence in the living room. It stretched on until Sam found the number and looked up to see everyone staring at her.

A frown slowly came to her eyebrows and she chuckled awkwardly, fidgeting with her phone, "what?"

"You invited her?" Quinn started.

"You two have been growing quite close," Mindy added, an all-too-knowing grin on her lips.

Tara had her lips hung open, being the last one to catch up on her sister's painfully obvious crush.

"We're… friends, she's nice," Sam shrugged, feeling herself grow self-conscious with the attention and involuntarily curling in on herself a little. She got up from the couch then, deciding to go make the call to order the pizza outside in the hallway as she figured she wouldn't have much peace inside right now.

She put on her house slippers and walked to the front door, hearing Mindy shout; "I've heard that before," right as she closed the door behind her.

Sam found herself slowly roaming to the lobby as she spoke on the phone, a cold air came from the entrance doors of her apartment building as she spoke on the phone, making her hug herself to preserve the warmth.

The pizza would be arriving in about thirty minutes, and just before Sam turned around to walk back inside to the coziness of her apartment, her cell phone dinged with a message from you letting her know you were here.

Sam saw herself smiling at the screen of her phone, at the small heart emoji you added beside the text.

The main doors of the entrance hall hinged as you walked in, and the first thing Sam noticed was that you were quite underdressed for the weather outside; only a thin jacket kept your body warm, your hair was all tousled from the wind and you had your hands buried in the pockets of your sweatpants. Still, you smiled brightly when you spotted Sam coming towards you.

"Aren't you cold?" Sam chuckled as she met you in the middle, coming to a stop a little closer to you than she should. Her eyes involuntarily roamed up and down your body, always engraving the image of you in her mind as if it was the first and last time she'd be seeing you; even if she has known you for nearly two months now.

"You bet I'm cold," without much of a warning, you brought one hand up and cupped Sam's cheek; the coldness of your skin contrasted with the warmth of hers.

Sam shivered from head to toe, and it wasn't because of the coldness of your fingers, for she could feel her cheeks warming up even more.

Unable to hold your gaze as she did so, Sam took hold of your freezing hand, "come on, let's get you warmed up. I ordered pizza."

You followed her willingly, nuzzling against her shoulder as you walked.

You're both not sure when this newfound intimacy happened. But you weren't complaining. Your heart was so full of Sam that you could hardly call it your own anymore. And Sam doesn't know what happiness means if it isn't written with the letters of your name.

Though it wasn't until a whole week later, that you did something about it.

This Friday was a rainy one, the skies had grey clouds looming over everyone on the streets as heavy raindrops fell steadily. Water splashed around people's shoes as they walked, holding their coats close to their bodies and their umbrellas above their heads.

Sam didn't have an umbrella. She'd given hers to Tara this morning because technically she wouldn't need it, she'd catch a ride with one of the nicer coworkers at the coffee shop when it was time to leave.

Sam was walking in the rain.

She never made it to 7 PM, which was usually the time she'd get off work. Her boss had dismissed her much earlier today; 'it doesn't look good to have a barista covered in coffee' was what he'd said.

Now, the huge coffee stain on her shirt was barely there, being replaced by the water falling from the sky. The pouring rain had already soaked through Sam's clothing; it trickled down her chin and made her hair stuck to her forehead. It was cold, she was shaking, and her fingers were becoming numb.

Today had been one of those unfortunate days. It was a group of teenagers, Sam can't exactly remember what they looked like; she had been the one to bring their orders to the table, and when their eyes met hers she could instantly see the hatred there. Various false accusations left their lips as one of them 'accidentally' spilled their coffee all over Sam. Today wasn't a good day.

Sam didn't know where she was going to, she was almost sure she was walking in the complete opposite direction of her apartment. She didn't stop, keeping her head low in hopes the rain would completely engulf her being.

"Sam?" The call of her name sounded like a hallucination at first. Too sweet, and too far away to be real.

"Sam!" Now it was closer, clearer between the heavy raindrops hitting the pavement.

It made Sam look up, one hand brushing over her eyes to clean the rain stuck to her lashes. Instantly, she forgot how to breathe.

You were coming towards her, one hand holding your coat and the other holding a faded pink umbrella above your head. You looked distressed, there was a frown on your eyebrows that Sam wanted to smooth away with her fingers.

Between the smell of coffee on her shirt and the rain on her skin, Sam had forgotten this was the time you usually came to the coffee shop.

Sam was suddenly shielded from the falling rain. You had to stay close so your umbrella would cover both of you. "Sam…" Your tone was sorrowful as your evident worry escaped you, "what are you doing out here like this? What happened?" You looked her up and down, taking in her purplish fingertips, her soaked clothes and hair, and the barely there coffee stain of her shirt.

The image of you in front of Sam started to blur over; she opened her lips to speak, tasting the raindrops there, yet the words were clogged up on the lump in her throat. A feeling of shame was crawling inside her guts, piercing through her heart for having you see her like this. Sam avoided your eyes, focusing on her boots instead.

Your sneakers inched closer and Sam felt your gentle fingers pushing away strands of her wet hair; the softness of your touch amidst all the harshness she was used to nearly made her crumble.

"Did someone do this to you?" You asked even softer.

Another beat of silence, and then; "I don't know why they hate me so much." Was all Sam told you, her voice nothing but a whisper that broke in the middle.

In the same heartbeat, with the hand that wasn't holding your umbrella, you took hold of Sam's waist, pulling her body close to yours in a warm embrace.

Sam clung to you as if you'd vanish into thin air any minute. Both her arms instantly came around your shoulders in a close-knit grip as she bunched the fabric of your coat between her fingers.

You adjusted your hold around her waist, mimicking the same strength she held you with. Part of you knew she needed to feel that kind of reassuring pressure, shielding her away from reality.

Her body was worryingly cold, the wetness of her clothes was seeping into your own but you couldn't find it in yourself to mind. Because Sam buried her head into the crook of your neck and you could feel steady wet drops falling into your skin, and you knew they weren't from the rain.

Sam's sobs were muffled against you. And as her body trembled in your hold, your heart shattered.

"Let me take you home," you whispered, your lips brushing the skin of her shoulder until you placed a kiss there.

Sam's grip on you tightened, bringing your bodies closer together if that was even possible. "Okay."

And you did take her home. Sam only didn't imagine that when you said home, you meant your apartment, not hers.

To say your place was better than Sam's would be an understatement. Your apartment wasn't overly luxurious, but it was evident that it was expensive.

Admittedly, Sam felt out of place. Not necessarily in a bad way; only in the way that you were clearly much better off in life than she was, and it made her feel a little self-conscious to think she'd been fantasizing about a chance with you, when, admittedly, you could do better.

You let go of your umbrella but kept holding onto Sam's hand, leading her to your bedroom, "come on, let's get you some dry clothes."

Your bedroom was the most 'you' room in the house. There was a double bed in the middle, a dresser, a desk with a computer and a whole lot of other things on top — books, a collection of pens, a couple of sketchbooks, small fantasy figures such as soldiers on horses and dragons — a mirror just beside the dresser, a bookshelf, and several pictures and fairy lights stuck to the walls. Everywhere Sam looked, there was a bit of you.

She hovered in the middle of it all, shaking from head to toe because of how cold her body was, and hyper-aware of the water still dripping from her soaked clothes and into the wooden floor.

You rummaged through your dresser until you found a comfy pair of purple sweatpants and a hoodie of the same color. You handed them to Sam, "the bathroom is just down the hall, feel free to take a shower and warm yourself up okay? I'll be in the kitchen."

Sam gulped down the lump still stuck in her throat, nodding along with your words, "thank you, you didn't have to do all this," her voice still held that same rawness to it, though the corner of her lips quirked up.

You let out a breathy chuckle, tilting your head to the side as if she just spoke a foreign language. "Yeah I did, that's what people do when they care about each other."

Under the warm orange glow of the fairy lights of your bedroom, Sam could count the specks of color in your eyes. She could drown in the ocean that was you and everything you made her feel.

Sometimes, you look at each other as if you're about to kiss.

Sam wondered if it was the same for you when she caught your eyes drifting to her lips. Before she could figure it out, you were sheepishly avoiding her eyes and walking off to the kitchen.

When Sam walked out of the bathroom, her skin now warm and her hair with the smell of your shampoo, you had just finished making two mugs of hot chocolate.

You heard her bare feet approaching you, felt her lingering gaze on your back. You could tell Sam wasn't allowing herself to be completely comfortable here yet. You hoped to change that.

Turning around, you were met with the endearing sight of Sam in your clothes, her hair still damp and cheeks now flushed from the hot water of the shower. She looked like your favorite dream.

You walked up to her, handing her one of the mugs, "now it's my turn to serve you," you winked.

Sam closed both hands around the mug, an inevitable chuckle escaping her.

You leaned back on the counter of your kitchen, hearing the rain that still poured outside hitting the windows. "Feeling better?"

Before answering, Sam took a sip of her hot chocolate, humming at the sweetness and warmth of it. "Much better."

"You can stay as long as you'd like," you told her, because you knew she needed to hear it.

Sam's thumb traced the rim of her mug. You could see her lips pulling thin, feel her uneasiness.

"I would like you to stay, Sam."

Thunder started rumbling in the distance as the rain picked up even more. Sam would be stuck with you for a while; maybe you should make the most of having her all to yourself.

You put down your mug and pushed yourself away from the kitchen counter. Sam could be fragile sometimes, you realized; there was a part of her that always remained guarded, waiting for the next blow to come. Yet you could almost feel the desperate calls of her lonely heart.

When you took a step closer to her, Sam didn't take one away from you, and it was all the confirmation you needed. She had a white-knuckled grip on her mug, though it relaxed immediately when your hand enveloped hers and you took the mug, putting it aside on the counter.

Sam was holding herself as stiff as a corpse; if you were anyone else, she would have taken her chance already, but you were you, and the fear that she might fuck it up spoke louder. Her eyes followed each of your movements though, her pupils blown wide and reflecting the vulnerability of a heart that started beating for you, for you, for you.

Both your hands eventually reached up to her cheeks, your fingers tracing her jaw and your thumbs brushing the skin beneath her eyes.

Inevitably, Sam melted in your hold, a breath leaving her lips as she closed her eyes for a beat. No one ever held her as if she was something precious. You always did.

First, your lips met her forehead in a kiss that felt like a promise. Then, your nose brushed hers when you leaned in; your breaths mingling as your hands found the back of her neck to pull her in.

You were gentle, so much so that Sam hardly felt your lips. You guided her into a chaste kiss, just a touch of your soft lips that fitted perfectly with hers. So perfectly, she'd dare say you were made just for her.

Small as it was, the gesture of affection got Sam grasping at your waist; her hands holding onto you with the same desperation as before. As if happiness, for her, was limited.

Sam didn't dare open her eyes when you pulled back. It was foolish, but she wanted to utter those three words just for the fact that you didn't go far, choosing to keep your forehead leaning against hers.

"Are you sure?" The words stumbled out of Sam's lips in an unsteady whisper as she took to memory what it felt like to have you this close.

You pulled away and she felt like crying.

It was only enough so you could look into her eyes, and there you saw everything she didn't want you to see. In those dark doe eyes that shone with the dim lights of your kitchen; you saw her fear, her loneliness; you saw the way she thought of herself as a person who doesn't deserve to be taken out of the rain, but who longs for someone to do so anyway.

"More than I've ever been in my life," you whispered back, pulling her in before you even finished speaking. You clashed your lips together, not holding back this time, because if she didn't believe your words, she would believe your touch; she would believe the way your hands tangled in her hair and how your tongue brushed over her bottom lip, tasting the lingering sweetness of hot chocolate there.

Yet, between each breathless kiss, you'd mumble, "I promise."

And Sam would hold you more firmly, her arms encircling your waist as she traced a path down your neck with her lips, confessions rolling off her tongue.

You had her at your mercy; she was yours. But you were hers too.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

It's been fifteen minutes already. Fifteen minutes of Sam glaring at her phone as if it would relent and type the message for her.

"Sammy, this is getting sad," Mindy popped a popcorn in her mouth, side-eyeing Sam's figure; who was huddled in a blanket on the couch beside hers, "just ask her already."

"Yeah, I will," Sam groaned, hugging her blanket closer to her chest, "just… finding the right words."

"The words are: 'do you want to go on a date with me? Yes or no?' Simple." A popcorn flew in Sam's direction as Mindy explained, "stop making a big deal of it, it's not like you guys never went out together anyway."

Sam pursed her lips, staring at the little picture of you in her contacts. It's true, you've met for outings multiple times already; but there was something more now, an incessant swarm of butterflies in her stomach whenever Sam thought of you.

"It's different," she said quietly, "I don't wanna mess it up." Her vulnerability dripped from each syllable.

Mindy softened at that, forgetting about the movie playing on the TV and properly turning to look at her friend; "you won't mess it up, Sam. She likes you, everyone can see it."

It felt nice to hear the words out loud, it made them all the more real — as if your make-out session from a few days ago wasn't enough. Sam could feel her cheeks growing warmer by the minute as she finally typed her message and hit send before the small bit of courage went away.

Mindy had been right, after all.

That night, Sam took you out for dinner and a movie; classic, but she learned that you loved the classics. Especially when you pressed your lips to hers again before saying goodbye, in a kiss that Sam would be happy to live in forever.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

The stairs that led up to her apartment weren't the most comfortable seat, but the empty hallways provided much-needed peace.

Sam buried her head in her hands, clawing at the roots of her hair. Her shirt was still damp, the smell becoming annoying. She could feel the back of her eyes stinging but she gulped back the feeling.

"You know you don't always have to wait for me down here."

It was almost magical, how your voice sent a wave of easiness through Sam's body. It was almost as if you carefully reached inside her chest and took away the burden there.

You were walking up to her, a smirk on your lips and a backpack hanging from your shoulder, "I know the way to your apartment."

Sam mimicked your smile, getting up with more haste than usual and meeting you halfway in the empty hallway. She didn't give you much of a warning before bringing you into a searing kiss, her hands cupped your cheeks and she had your bottom lip trapped between hers; chasing the feeling only you could give her.

A gasp escaped you when she collided with you. Your giggles got muffled by her lips and you took hold of her waist to steady yourself.

It's been four months since Sam started calling you hers. Four months since she's been able to gloat because you're her girlfriend. Four months in which she's been the happiest she's ever been in her life.

"I missed you," she spoke against your lips.

You kissed the words, frowning playfully, "you saw me this afternoon."

"Exactly," Sam's smile stretched further, "too long," and then she was leaning in again, and again, and again.

Sam could be intense sometimes, but you knew how to recognize when she was doing it for fun, or to forget about something else.

You took hold of one of her hands then, breaking the kiss she had you trapped in so you could place one to her knuckles, "is that cherry coke I smell on you?"

"Maybe," she dragged the word, her fingers intertwining with yours.

"Are you making a habit of having people throw drinks at you?" You raised an eyebrow at her before squeezing her hand reassuringly, "what happened?"

Sam let out a halfhearted groan, shrugging her shoulders as she avoided your eyes, "just some conspiracy psychos… and Tara is pissed at me."

"Did you guys have another fight?" You asked sympathetically.

"She was at this party and I tased a guy who was trying to take advantage of her, and now she's mad at me," Sam distracted herself by playing with your fingers as she spoke, "keeps telling me I should let her go."

In your four months with Sam, you learned how protective she could be of those she cares about, especially after what happened in Woodsboro. You learned that because you were now on that list too. You'd lost count of how many guys she threatened because of you already, each time you went out for drinks together and a strange dude decided to try his luck with you Sam would pull out her taser and aim it right where it hurts most.

In truth, you understood both sides. Yes, Sam could be overprotective sometimes; but she had her reasons.

"Family can be complicated, I would know," you pushed back strands of Sam's dark hair, never having enough of how she leaned into your touch, "but Tara will come around soon."

You felt the shape of Sam's smile on your palm right before she placed a kiss there. Part of you lived only for these sweet, precious moments.

"Hey guys," Chad's voice suddenly broke your peaceful bubble. You and Sam looked up to see him on the stairs, "come up here, quick."

Sam walked into her apartment holding onto your hand, and her grip only tightened when she saw what everyone was watching on the TV.

A student from Blackmore University had just been murdered, Mindy recognized him from their film studies class.

Tension lay heavy in the room, but especially, it radiated off Sam; you could feel it in the tremble of her hold on your hand when the reporter spoke about the several Ghostface costumes left at the scene of the crime.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Sam’s taglist: @milkiane @v1ci0us @alexkolax

[gerrimime]

Thoughts post the chapter 63 of the fairy tail 100 year quest

*breathes deeply*

Ok so the new chapter for fairy tail 100 year quest  finally came out and when I saw the cover I literally was sooo freaking hyped ( due to the nalu obviously) but then I read it and was like …

Oh well that was short.

Meh.

First let’s talk about the positives..

JERZA that’s all !!! I mean they fully, greatly, totally deserved it and I am glad that now finally they can move to somewhere solid. That being said jerza is probably the only couple who was in terms with their feelings for the LONGEST time. They didn’t have much moments but they both knew their love for each other heck they almost even kissed (while others here are like yay we hugged, yipee) The only thing keeping them was jellal’s guilt and now that it is outta the way … jerza can happen scratch that it IS happening. Its amazing and I ain’t complaining 😊 good for you jellal.

And now my actual rant..

Gale is adorable but they now have their happy ending of sorts they love each other, are happy and are about to have a baby, and from the earlier chapter gajeel’s slight insecurities were also dealt with beautifully.. now they can roll in here and there with small moments and that’d be enough... I mean getting married would be the only new development for them but I don’t think it’ll change much relationship and story wise.

 Gruvia …. HUH…they make me want to die like wtf are you guys doing… juvia is so patient I swear.. Gray you know what, you are really being unfair . the amount of development gruvia had during the alvarez arc was already so huge that gray should have kept his promise and given her a straight answer like ….just..ahhhh..it would have been nice to see them develop while being in a commited relationship. Its so aggravating just talking about it.. in this series they literally had 3 whole chapters with gruvia being the focus .. like lets ignore the would be’s of alvarez arc ending ;after the rain hill chapter gray should have confessed like this is too much .. and now too in this chapter they are like hehhehehe we’re hugging wohoo.( well at lest he isn’t swatting her away now but still..like…uhhh)

i’m honestly bored. I love the couple but its gone too far they literally sacrificed themselves for the other; honestly if the next time they don’t kiss/become official when they share a moment I wouldn’t even give a tiny little damn about it…. its too frustrating and outstretched. Seriously like when gray pulled juvia towards himself in the ice and water chapter I wasn’t even moved I was ok …anything else…

Huuhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuu…. I’ll shutup about them now; honestly now I feel like they take up and waste precious panels that could be used for another ship or for the story in general with their lack of development. I don’t wanna ruin this ship for myself but its starting to happen now. Gray’s acknowledgement is great and all but it has too little impact after all this time. He’s telling juvia to wait since forever....I swear if it wasn’t for juvia, gray would die alone( got a little dark there but idk anymore).

 Now finally NALU . mashima is literally killing me with this I don’t even.. I cant even express myself rationally now. Nalu had one only ONE freaking panel with some concrete development  at the end of chapter 22 and it didn’t really develop into anything big later too.. I feel like they have the purest bond out of any other goddamn ship and have gone through so much together and done so much for each other.

But no matter how much they fight for one another, support one another it’s never direct.. or discussed about. Literally anytime they have a major moment either one of them is in a death battle hanging to life or just plainly out of their senses. They always know it’s the other who supported and helped them (which is soo pure ..i’m crying)  but they are also apart during these crucial moments… natsu was almost dead .. lucy saved him but they never freaking talked about it or felt the other’s emotions first-hand. Eg: gruvia; they sacrificed themselves for each other but they had their interaction then and there. Heck gale confessed in similar situations. nalu really needs something huge and literally thrown to their faces considering that they are the BIGGEST dorks and the densest people out there when it comes to realizing the severity of their relationship….. sure let’s say that they are slightly aware but they really need a push to reach that level..

Seeing the cover I really hoped at least there could be a silent epiphany from at least  natsu’s side but …I’m honestly disappointed..

I really hope If mashima is playing the whole best for last card they better go through some realization and moments and stuff.. cause if at the literal last chapters they are like suddenly confessing and shit then … I don’t even know what to say I am already near tearing up just writing this and thinking about it - they deserve way too much than a downright plain out of the blue confession…. *really holding back tears here*(though whatever happens i’ll take it cause those babies deserve each other)

Let’s see what happens up next in the 100 year quest. Ships aside I really am enjoying the story overall and excited about the new character and the new arc but seeing how their relations are such a key factor in the story ( as they should be..) I cant help but think about it .. its been way too god damn long already.

ALSO..i REALLY really don’t want them to do any villain turned good shit with the white wizard..seeing how they are foreshadowing.. some mystery over her character .. i don’t want her to have a sob story and then suddenly turn good.. i want her to be the evil messed up person she is and go freaking die!!( yeah yeah im a bit dramatic)

this rant is over now..

 *SIGH*

[serendipitous-posts]

that post about 1-A being scared of 3-E?? pls THAT WAS SO AMAZING. ALSO THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW IT TERMS OF SHEER PHYSICAL ABILITIES LIKE RUNNING, CLIMBING TREES, ETC. ONLY FEW IN 1-A ARE ADEPT AT THAT. LIKE BAKUGOU, TENYA, MIDORIYA (not even todoroki). they rely on their quirks too much

wHILE on the other hand we've 3-E? they don't walk on roads, no luv that's for peasants, they jump from one roof to the other, that episode where they scaled that huge hill (rock?) to get the antidote??

if 3-E were to be given quirks, imagine the power they'll hold

ALSO THAT BIT WERE BAKUGOU GETS SHREDDED BY 3-E?? i can imagine the pin drop silence that follows his threat and then slowly 3-E gathers around him (karma is leading the pack you can't convince me otherwise) with the most obnoxious smiles on their faces LIKE WOHOO ANOTHER ASSASSINATION

i am sorry if i ranted too much-

YOU. YOU GET ME

YEAH! 

Because yes, 1A does physical work and yes they’re good at fighting but these guys? These guys have done nothing but combat training. They were trained in the freaking WILDERNESS not some big fancy school where all their needs were met.

And look. Look. Like I said, there is a stigma against quirkless, and I’m willing to bet MOST of the group have internalized it. Hell, Izuku himself probably has. He wanted to be a hero but was only capable of doing so when he got a quirk. They definitely think 3E are helpless. Maybe they heard stories from the other 3 classes if they’re there and don’t really wanna spend time around a bunch of ‘no-good delinquents’

3E would treat 1A with such contempt, relying so much on their quirks. Where’s the guns? Where’s the blades? Where’s the twenty step plan in how to extract yourself?

These guys would jump out the windows of top story buildings to practice their landing technique, would absolutely try to kill each other to make sure the other is on their game. Have no problem breaking other peoples bones and slitting throats.

TLDR: Bakugou would have the fear of god put into him

[ishaare]

hiii, how have you been? life update please?!!!

I have been great!!!!

oh man lol Life has been like a roller coaster but in a good way!!  Not sure how many would be interested so I would keep my long rant under the cut lmao

Ok so I am going to categorize it

 Personal

Ok so married life is great! We just celebrated our first marriage anniversary on the 10th! Wohoo!!

We celebrated in Cuba! We didn’t go to our honeymoon after we got married. We were in India and I didn’t want to take away my husband’s (we shall call him J) time from his parents. We see his parents, may be every two years. And if we have went on our honeymoon, he would only have one  week with his parents. And I wouldn't want that for them or him.

We thought we will go after we come back to Canada. But I didn't have any job back then because I had recently graduated. I didn’t feel like going on vacation when I was struggling to find a job lol

And we had moved out recently after living in shared apartment so I had to look for something to do. I found a job after three months but it was an odd job and I wasn't satisfied with what I was doing. After another three months, I found my dream job, which was to work in a hospital! Amazing staff and management, but downside, Causal position so hardly any hours. We want to buy a house in a year or two and for that I need a full time hours. So fast forward to November, your girl got  interview from another hospital 

yes, that’s exactly how proud I was^^

Because it is apparently hard to get into hospital here.  Now I am in training and I have ridiculous schedule for next month where I will be working 15 days straight o.o

So anywayyyy, honeymoon was great heheheh

Definitely much deserved vacation and anniversary well spent!! Not to sound cheesy, but staying with J is like being on vacation itself :”) We share our responsiblities, be in cooking or cleaning; Always a partner. But when I am on my periods, he doest even let me lift a finger, it’s actually so sweet :”) ok I will stop bragging about him lol 

Education and .......a baby o.o

Two very opposite topics, I am going to talk about..together 

I am very happy with what I am doing right now. But it wasn't what I wanted to do for last 4 years. I have been trying to get into college/Uni for longest time for what I wanted to do but call it my shitty luck, I always end up in waiting list and then college/uni never contact me. This was before I got married and couple of months ago, I applied one last time with J’s encouragement. He wants me to chase my dreams and do what I actually want to do. He pushed me to try one more time. Because to be honest, I was done. And I am very happy with what I do right now. and I do feel content with it. 

Now on other hand, my mom has started that baby talk. I can’t even begin how frustrating it is. So if I go for studies, Baby plan gets put on hold and my mom will have a panic attack because omg I will be nearing 30 lmao 

(That would be in next couple of years lol) but you know desi moms

^^^my mom’s exact reaction would be this liol

I didn't tell her that I have applied for further studies because again, panic attack.

She thinks it has been three years for J and I but technically, two years of engagement and one year of marriage. She thinks it’s perfect time to think about baby. To be honest, I do not blame her to think like that. In their time, they had kids within one or two years of marriage but it’s so different now. I do want to have a baby before I am 30 but that time hasn’t come yet. Also, I want to be financially stable to provide for a baby and emotionally available. Because having a baby, it’s such a big responsibility. Then there is a house factor, we both want our child to grow up in a house. There is so many things to consider ahhh

On other hand, my in-laws are chill, especially my mother-in law. Chillest saas ever. She talks to me like a daughter and treats me like one too. She has never pressured me for anything.  :’) And same in with father-in-law, I am the priority and then his son tehee

Blessed to have both of them :’) and blessed to have a husband like J :’D

Ok I am done ranting lol

man it feels like old times when I used to share my life stories, ahh thank you Anon :’) 

[keprambles]

(GoT) Theon Greyjoy | A Stark by TheGaroStudios Artist notes: "You are a Greyjoy and... You are a Stark" I've been meaning to do a tribute about Theon for awhile. I think the character arch of Theon is by far one of the best ones in the show. I don't think we really appreciate him as a character and I hope with this we can all see where he comes from and where he'll end up. and we must also underline Alfie Allen's acting. He is just amazing. WOHOO! Game of Thrones is back !!  My notes: I like this video but have a huge problem with the premise and that is not related to how good the video is. I know a lot of people like this premise and value it intensely so, I will put my opinion below a cut.  It’s SUPER LONG. 

I like any well put together Theon video. That said, thematically I don’t love this one even if I love the art. IMO Theon’s relationship to the Starks is the least important and interesting thing about him. I dislike the idea that redemption for what he did to them is the core of his arc because redemption, to me, is worthless. You can’t live your life looking for forgiveness you may never achieve. You should always do better. You should do your best not to hurt people who are close to you but you cannot and should not make their forgiveness your purpose. (mini real life rant)(mini real life rant)(mini real life rant)(mini real life rant) You will lose. Even if they forgive you, you will lose. I promise you this. I saw this A LOT in rehab. I went to inpatient care for severe alcoholism and have been sober since like 2014. While I was there I saw a lot of people try and 12 Step it, and like that works for lots of people but the people it failed for were the ones who NEEDED to be forgiven for the TERRIBLE shit they did in active addiction.  You cannot take back the terrible things you do. You cannot ever do enough good to guarantee forgiveness. No one actually even owes it to you. If you make it the core of your life, you may never achieve it and if you do you’d be shocked at how empty that feeling actually is.  You are way better off changing your behavior for yourself. Or in my case you adopt a dog and you do it for your dog. The point is you look to the future and present and not the past. It is 3000x more productive. I do not buy Jon Snow’s “You’re a Greyjoy and Stark” changing Theon’s behavior. I do think it’s what he wanted to hear...But like...It’s stupid. Theon was going to save Yara anyway, that’s why he wanted to talk to Dany.  (mini real life rant)(mini real life rant)(mini real life rant)(mini real life rant) Also the Starks kinda sucked: 1.They  to war with Theon’s family (I know Balon started it) 2. Killed members of his family in said war and destroyed huge parts of his home. 3. Ripped him from the only home he ever knew, without taking A SINGLE Iron man with them because the point was to brainwash Theon into becoming a more palatable “Stark-like” lord. This under the excuse of him being a “Ward” but he was NOT a ward. Wards don’t have to stay with their foster family until their father DIES. Wards don’t live under fear of “honorable execution” from age 10 onwards.  4. Theon would have been killed if Balon ever rebelled again. Ned thinking this was an actual deterrent was stupid, Balon was FINE with losing Theon and planned to rebel once he had the strength to do so...See also Balon REBELLING AGAIN BEFORE THEON EVEN GETS TO PYKE. 3. Poor Alannys Harlaw , Theon’s mother who isn’t in the show visibly, but genuinely loved her children, of which like Cat she is sure are mostly dead and loses her mind, sitting in a tower all day crying for her “baby Theon.”  4. Theon was treated at best with scorn by the Northmen, THE ONLY person who grew to like him at all was Robb who was a baby when he got there. Like you can’t tell in the show and no one says anyone’s ages in the show but Theon is like 5 years older than Robb. They were not peers. He was a literal 5 year old at best when Theon got there.  5. It was really hard for Theon to see a family built on love like the Starks knowing he could never be part of it. This is because...They wouldn’t let him. Ned knew he might have to kill Theon so he kept his distance. Cat didn’t like any child at Winterfell who was not one of her own children. All her children besides Robb took her lead with Theon, with Sansa even taking Cat’s lead with Jon. (I like Cat but this is a character flaw of hers that makes sense and has consequences though not the ones the show says but like, another rant) I could go on.  Like even if you don’t think these things mattered THEON DID. It’s why he loses his SHIT at Winterfell when he’s faced with the realization that he belongs nowhere. He is split between two cultures that are opposed at their very core. THEY VERY GODS. In the show you can see what Ned did visually. Theon dresses like a Northman. Theon SPEAKS with a VERY THICK Stark Accent. Theon says his VERY NAME differently then his Greyjoy family members do. YET Theon isn’t a Northman. So the northerners treat him with similar scorn. Theon COULD NEVER even rule the ironborn as he is post Ned’s GREAT IDEA. They would REJECT HIM. They wouldn’t ever listen to him. They wouldn’t change their ways just because he was more like a Stark. AND THIS. IS ALL. NED’S FAULT. Theon did betray Robb. He did. And it’s something he feels bad about after he’s been tortured, though honestly not before. He says in the dungeon that he took Winterfell because he LOVED AND HATED THE STARKS. What do you do when you love a family who DID OBJECTIVELY HURT YOU? What do you do when no one else gives a shit about that pain? How fucked up is it that The Starks fucked up Theon and no one cares because morally they just PREFER them to the Greyjoys? I reject this interpretation of the arc. I reject the idea that the Starks are perfect. I think they are kind of trash and my second favorite character is SANSA STARK.  Like I GET that people love this and that the show has doubled down on this but it’s like...Really to me a shame. There is so much more going on with Theon and the Starks then “They were so good to them and he was so mean! But he feels sad now so it’s good!!” Like no, fuck off.  ------ Also this video is still good. If you like this idea cool, we do not have to agree on this or anything else.  Also sorry for any typos, I can’t edit this right now. I shouldn’t have wrote it. I have like no timeeeee akjxsdhjkcdjkh

[theythemsam]

spn 10x08, liveblog, collected posts (all 15 of them) or as i like to call it: Donna, Jody, but unfortunately also transphobia! WOHOO!!

Nice the Mentalist reference :P

 Jody is so cute!!!

 Donna! Donna! Donna!

 I love Donna so much, Doug is such a bastard

 “he-wolf, she-wolf, a study in werewolf transgenderism” hey Dean, if you’re not interested, I deffo wanna read that! Werewolves are actually kinda regularly queercoded soooo, just saying, let me have some of that, it sounds fascinating!

#huh also funny that it was written by Sgriccia, you know the same dude who directed sacrifice #the shows first ever mention of a transgender individual (that i can remember at least... besides the shitty dude looks like a lady garbage towards Raphael but im ignoring that hot mess) #but of course in a not really positive way #this is also another throwaway line and I don’t like it #like if they had just brought it up but dean is like: yup that is the most useless thing in this whole library! #thats a whole analysis that I could use to write my horror movie paper about…

 Also Dean calling the mark of cain “not weird enough” to justify research, compared to transgender werewolves…

#gays I might actually be crying. #could just be that today I went to the hospital with one of my roomates so he could get his blood tested and stuff so he can finally go on hormones #or the fact that im a bitch and I love bitching #but I am actually upset

 All the cops are so pissed off at pairing up

 I hate that this now makes me angry, because now I can’t fucking focus on how much I love Donna

 Also not to uhm like Go On A Queer History Rant and climb higher while building my damn barricades, but the word transgender was not used in the 50s. We can thank Magnus Hirschfeld for the first use of the word “transvestite” in 1910, and in 1923 “transsexuality” (transsexualismus), long before “psychopathia transexualis” came out in 1949, marking another popular origin story of the term transsexual. However, the first time transgender was used in print was in 1965 and then made popular in the 1970s by Virginia Prince. The Bunker was last used before 1958, when Henry’s band of merry man was murdered by Abaddon. the would not have known the word transgender. They would have used transsexual!

#eat my ass supernatural! #if you wanna be a dumbass do it right! #they aren’t even just idiots for including that scene but historically inaccurate

 Donna and Jody are so cute together

#I SHIP! #i hate that I am still pissed off #this is such a good episode! And im just angry!

Jody and Donna getting talked down by the garbage gun guy and then Donna’s ex husband? Yikes. I hate men this episode.

#love Jody for shooting that bastard down though

 “well, hi there, sunflower”

#oh no #i already dont like the hippie gal

 The vampire gal is so creepy. Also what is it /again/ with vampires calling Dean pretty? Like vampires in supernatural are always so… rapey. I hate it.

#like she literally takes his belt… it’s so creepy

 Also now the werewolf thing still doesn’t make sense… like there wasn’t even a werewolf there…. Just creepy vampires…

#>:-(

[luffyasksandanswers]

// “hi, I’m not from the US” ask set ALL OF THEM YOU COWARD. ALL OF THEM. YOU REBLOGGED THAT MEME NOW COMMIT. GIVE ME MY STALKER KNOWLEDGE. GIMME. OR MEET ME IN THE PIT.

“hi, i’m not from the us” meme - @fearllacy //Bruh, you curious George xD! But dare is a dare and me not want to the coconut pit D: so here we go!

1. favourite place in your country?

Summer cottage, a place to escape the hectic city life *thumbs up*

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

Toss me with a shoe because of my unecological thinking but I do like to see new places and cultures  so whenever there is a chance, I try to travel abroad. 

3. does your country have access to sea?

We are the land of thousand lakes buuut we also have sea around us, a lot in the south! so we can escape to Estonia xD 

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

Praised Karelian Pasty and Kalakukko here! otherwise our food is pretty much either stolen from Sweden or colorless/tasteless xD 

5. favourite song in your native language?

Me revealed some of them hier :>

6. most hated song in your native language?

Spent the yesterday browsing around Youtube xD and results are täällä

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

Wow, this is a thing I’ve never thought about it so this should be something to be asked from my mates because they know better which words I repeat nonstop *laughs*  Hey, how about teaching you fellow buddies a few Finnish words?

- Juoksentelisinkohan?  (=I wonder if I should run around aimlessly?)Never heard anyone say this but I think it’s very amusing word in general xD 

- Lohikäärme = dragon Simply put so but if you write “lohi” and “käärme” separated, you get salmon and snake. In other words the translation could also be salmonsnake,kinda makes sense, kinda doesn’t *laughs*

- Pöpelikkö

= ThicketRarely used word for a forest/growth that is hard to walk through, maybe in spoken language means more like “in middle of nowhere” or at least that’s how I use that word ::D  

Bonus: lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilasThe longest officially approved finnish word monster. In english it would beAeroplaneshowerturbinemotorhelpmechanicnoncommissionedofficerstudent. 

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

I probably told this before but I’m not a bloodline finn, my biological roots are in China (but I’ve spent practically my whole life here so my soul is very suomi perkele saunaan ja torille xD). As imaginable, this causes awkward situations because people get misunderstood or assume things right away but well whoopsies happpen as long as no one makes a number about it, it’s all ok ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

Revealed #lifegoals här!

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

Maybe the most heard sweard word is the finnish version of F-word  [x]Frankly spoken I don’t like or use it because it’s like the C-word and dunno, sounds weird when people love to repeat loudly a word that literally means woman’s genitals :D Nah my favorite swearword is “Perkele” because when you are angry you can feel the power in the R-letter.  But I actually use “Helvetti” (=hell) the most, no idea how it happened but anyway, if it’s not “PERRRKELE” then it’s “EI HELVETTI” *laughs* last time I swear like mad was when I had to assemble a furniture at work xD

11. favourite native writer/poet?

Tove Jansson adoration here :>

12. what do you think about English translations 

I have to admit I’m not familiar with translated literacy D: wait no I lied! I’ve read 2 Moomin books in english but don’t remember paying attention to the translation, only thing that was confusing first was the names in english because there wasn’t any expalanations to the names of the (random) side characters xD

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

We finns love icy waters but we have another tradition that is a dank meme. I mean TORILLE!! which basically means finns rush to the local market places if we win hockey championships or are good in any other sports. I think it’s a global jokebut yeah finns are trash for getting national recognision. Just mention us anywhere outside the borders and transmit that info to Finland and you can hear and see people hyping it like mad and I am not sure if other countries do this too in such extreme ways xD  

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

One thing that makes watching the finnish tv boring is that they literallt recycle the celebrities which means same faces in almost every fame teledrama or shows and practically everywhere you go or channel surf, you’ll see them and then even tabloids need to write nonstop about their slighest moves.  It is good to be ecological but if there is an actor that needs to shove their face everywhere no matter what and they try to keep their fame in every way, it just doesn’t work plus this might be stereotyping but in those “finnish versions” of big shows, finns are somewhat stiff and don’t go like “yeehaw WOHOO \o/” the same way like in the original shows  so it sometimes looks like they try too hard to be like the original or they are just “forced” to be superhyper. 

Another reason I don’t watch much finnish series is that the articulating is bad or then there is something wrong with the audio or it’s just my bad hearing but the actors tend to speak very very quietly so you have to put volume on if you want to hear anything on the telly and then your ears get rekt and wasted because when the commercials (which are louder than the normal speech) comes, the sound is even louder [x] just like when you open your computer and forgot the volume is at maximum and whe Windows start music suddenly appears. 

I bet there are good finnish movies too that are high quality and I personally enjoy the game shows (quiz like thingies) but in general, nah :p 15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

Another thing outsiders maybe don’t understand but finns love to queue and freebies and an ultimate example is that usually if a new shop opens up, people can start to queue a long before the grand opening. Funniest thing is that free buckets are the most queued thing and why not because they are useful xD

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

Maybe my favorite finnish stereotype is that finns love personal space [x] It is a national joke that if there is a bus stop, finns don’t stand next to each other (well in the capital and big cities maybe) but they have at least 2 meters distance xD 

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

Frankly spoken nah, I mean I liked to hear my grandparents’ stories about the life when they were younger and how my both grandfathers had to see the wars but in general nah, because well we’ve been owned by Swedes and Russians and had a civil war.  

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

I’m originally from the Eastern Finland that has its dialect  and people distinguish it easily. Especially now that I’ve lived outside my hometown during studies and work, people tell that they hear strong dialect although I only use it in the person pronouns *eyes emoji*

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

Blue is a nice color so thumbs up for that! Well can’t say I’m a fanatic finn but of course it sounds nice to hear the anthem on telly [x]

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

Hockey is probably where Finland is the most successful but we also like football (duh, everyone likes) but we suck at that so bye FIFA dreams xD you know about that Phil because I ranted about it last summer XD

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

SALMIAKKI and that free bucket *laughs* 

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

There are many things very well in Finland, like everyone gets a free basic education and natural disasters such as earthquakes are very rare so it’s quite safe. 

What am I ashamed of? Well frankly spoken we are way too soft on criminals in my opinion so our country should fix the law system so that the criminals would get rougher and longer punishments for rough crimes. 

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

I think beers, wines and long drinks are in now? 

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

Sweden! It’s a common joke that we are so jealous of Swedes being better people and succeeding in everything and of course in our jokes swedes are the dummies. I think Scandinavian countries do that about each other like Finland vs Sweden, Iceland vs Denmark and Sweden vs Norway *laughs*

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

But I am born in another country xD Nah no, I wouldn’t change a thingblue eyes would be cool but finns tend to burn in the sun and I enjoy the summer I’m happy like this :p 26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

The latest news about Finland in American media must’ve been that when Trump misunderstood the forest defense thing and said something like Finns are so diligent they rake their forest floors [x] but the truth is that we don’t because our climate is different. Of course we have forest fires too but they are much much smaller than in California. 

27. favourite national celebrity?

I fangirled Antti holma here, he handsome, he funny, he has a podcast  :> 

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?I think a couple of mountains exsist [x] but more rivers and thousands of lakes! I like the lakes, since I’ve spent most of my summers at our summer cottage near the lake. Actually never been in the north but I’d love to go on a roadtrip someday to see them!

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

We beat Sweden and Russia so no one shall mess with our smol country! :p

Fun fact: There is a guy named Simo Häyhä, a sniper who is said to be killed more than 505 men during the 1939–40 Winter War [x]

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

We have a multicultural family tree, relatives from France, Germany, Sweden, Japan and so on :)! 

[agl03]

AOS 4x18: Through A Child’s Eyes

Checklist

Blanket fort

Easter Candy

Pillow to scream into

Tissues

Daisy Funko

Lets do this!

And here we go!

The Truth Behind Fitz!  MOMMY!!!!!

Mace/Coulson

Well done Mace

So and accent!!!!

Who?! Trip?!  Please be Trip!

Be nice to Jemma!

He has been brainwashed so shut up

Super Jump!

I love these two

AHH!

Daisy/Fitz

Fitz now is not the time for our hair

Its DOCTOR jemma says that

BJ!!!!  BJ!!! HE”S  TRIP!  MOMMY!  TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  MOM TRIP!

Yeah we need to get you to Jemma.

Come on Fitz...no!

Doctor Fitz needs to go!

May

BOOO HIISSS AIDA!!!!

Yes, dwell on the past! Wake up!

Oh no...no...no may...crap!

You have something to lose and his name is Phil!

Crap

Playground

Mack!

Yeah where is Hope

Mom is she not there, if Hydra has her this is bad

Can’t imagine why she doesn’t like you

Coulson/Jemma

Yeah risking his life...mommy I have a bad feeling.  Jason was all scruffy at Wondercon.

Ward is evil

HA! HIves!  

Wow Jemma, honesty

Yeah ITS DOCTOR!  Oh man like Fitz...oh...Fitzsimmons need each other

Hydra labs

Crap that is the bad stuff

Hey isn’t that guy from another season

Oh HYDE

NO MAY! No smiling that stuff is bad!

Jemma/Mace

T Shirts, you said that dude

Ward looks confused

Really well, you had her kidnapped

No, No, No, and no

Mom...we are learning to much about him

Quiet Ward

Yeah he wouldn’t, he’s been brainwashed

You two leave her alone!

She needs her Fitz!

YES MACE FINALLY!

Fitz/AIDA

Boo HISS there better not be any kissing

She persisted mommy!!!!  the Womans March (that’s my baby)

No no no touching

Fitz/Daisy

She called her Daisy!

Yeah you be mouthy

AIDA your nuts

You tell her Radcliffe!

PIKACHU!

Oh no! AIDA

No

no

no no nonononon!

AIDA you are....screaming into pillow

Ohhh you can bring him back!

Giving people what they want is a lie

Playground

Mommy THE BUS is back! Its just not like the last one

Ohh Backstory!

Wait I need backstory!

Oh man...this is gonna hurt...

Hope

Jemma go get the book...dang it

Awesome undercover Coulson

Fitz

ANTIQUE.... TRIP!  Trip used old stuff!!!

Mom...who is this

Had to pause for screaming into pillow

HIS DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes be conflicted!  Come on Fitz!

He knows about the woman...JEMMA JEMMA HE’S THINKING OF JEMMA

Tea..that is Jemma’s thing...

I dont’ like him

Prison

Dun dun dun Undercover Coulson

BAKSHI!!!!

OH they are hiding in the body bags...ew

Radcliffe

Poor Radcliffe

He’s so sad

He’s being controlled and she was already dead

Yeah AIDA changed him!

ONE PERSON IN YOUR LIFE!  HIS DAD!

I LOVE YOU!!!  THAT WILL WAKE HIM UP

Yeah please be a backdoor

She can’t destroy it!

Safeguard...daisy you need to know about the safeguards

Fitz’s

He’s proud he’s the Doctor

He’s showing remorse

Shut up Fitz’s Dad

THERE IS OUR FiTZ!

SHUT UP!

JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE

Let his mother out!

He didn’t know about the science

Just shut up!

He was awful to Fitz

OH IT HATE HIM MORE NOW

STop telling him he loves her!  He loves JEMMA

Mom!!! Something this isn’t right...how he is saying it isn’t right!  I bet he and AIDA are working together!

That’s why I”m here...yeah that is why you are here to manipulate him...ranting went on for a bit...

Prison

Its a trap

Called it!

Oh its all going to blow up on them now

Yeah Coulson make it right

Hey Burrows!

TRIP!!! FIND TRIP!!!

Well done phil

TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We had to pause for dancing and screaming

TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE HE IS!

I MISSED YOU!

Yeah pictures are in those boots right mom?  Cause Trip is awesome like that!

Wohoo on the bus!

Fitz/May

Oh this is bad

Ew

Big needle!

Bad needle!

Oh man May!

This is the best episode!

Jemma/Mack

I need to see that book

Wow mom...this is heavy political

He’s a good dad

Leaving her is gonna suck

Shut it Ward

SHe knows you as someone else

You don’t want to nwo what you did

Yes

Yes

No! Come one! NO!

Prison

Yeap Trip is awesome!

YES PLANS...wait kill Inhumans

Oh no

Coulson don’t

No not the mission!

Coulson.... Stop

Yeah not good

Run Burrows!  RUN!

Ward/Jemma

Leave Mack alone

Jemma

Those people mean something to her

NO! Not okay! Partner

May Mace

Oh snap! (good thing she doesn’t know curse words)

Ahhhh!!!!!!

Holy COW!

Coulson

Bakshi VOICE!

BRAINWASHING

Battle royale

May is MAD

Oh my!

AHHH DON”T KILL EACH OTHER!

AIDA YOU...YOU KNOW WHAT IS IN THERE!

Oh! 

NO NOT A COMMERCIAL!

Yeah be worried about her shooting you

OH Mommy!

Mace...he’s indestructable right

May...May...wake up...wake up!

PHIL! WAKE HER UP!  Kiss her or something!

PHEW! GO MACE!

May...oh

IS she waking up!!!

COME ON MAY!

No....

No!!

NO

NO

NO

Mommy!

My baby is crying

He’s find...he’s indestrutable mom, just wait, he’ll be fine

Fitz

Oh I hate those two, let him go!

Both of you get away from Fitz!

Real World

Mace isn’t dead right mom

Mom he’s really dead?

NO! MOM! HE DIED!

Tag

DAISY...May?

Oh

Did she wake up?

That’s it Daisy get up!

CRYSTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

QUAKE IS BACK BABY!