#another disclaimer: this is just my thoughts and i understand other people think differently

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

A Fool For Love (18+ Fic) *PREVIEW*

Pairing: Gangster!Bakugou x Black!Bimbo!Reader

Synopsis: You were just a lowly young woman singing and dancing at your local club to care for your sick mother and a chance at fame. He was just a renowned gangster, building his lonely empire and riches on the bones he broke. And then you two met and suddenly, everything seemed to fit together...until he broke it all apart again. Now, trying to move on, you find affection with another, but your gangster ex doesn't take too kindly to that and will have to find it in himself to make you understand that you're the one for him.

Story Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Time Period AU (Roaring 1920s); Gangster/Thug!Bakugou; Bimbo!Reader; Strangers to Lovers/Exes to Lovers; Opposites Attract Trope; Sunshine x Grumpy Trope; Mild Violence; Some Mentions of Racism & Sexism; Love Triangle; Jealous BF!Bakugou; Possession/Ownership; Bondage; Mild BDSM; Marking; Scent Play; Daddy Kink; Spanking; Spit Play; Cum Play; Public Sex; Dom!Bakugou x sub!Reader; Breeding Kink; Unprotected Sex/Creampies; Fluff & Hurt/Angst

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: Soooo I had this idea in my head for THEE LONGEST TIME after listening to Lucky Daye's "That's You" back to back for months now lol. I wanted to write a gangster fic for a minute now, but I was having trouble picking WHO to write it for until I did a poll on here & people chose Bakugou for it. I'm so hype to write this because I'm a slut for mafia romance (I'm a wattpad girl stfu) & I love writing period shit. I hope y'all enjoy it! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

I also have a tracklist that I made for this short compiled of songs I think fit the story & the time period it takes place in. You can find it below! If anyone has any idea who the artist is for the fan art in the tracklist, PLEASE let me know! (I found it on Pinterest) 💗💗💗💗 -Jazz

Chapters: PREVIEW. I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X.

***********

PREVIEW 

Bakugou watches you intently sitting next to him in the passenger's seat of his car, the rain pitter-pattering outside, creating a loud cacophony of endless noise.

Your sweet voice nearly gets swept up with the rain. “I don’t understand, Katsuki. I just don’t understand you.”

You won't look at him. Your beautiful, doe-like brown eyes are staring somewhere else outside the windshield, the rain reflecting back in those pools of bewilderment and sorrow that Bakugou could get lost in forever.

'I know, baby,' he thinks, his own sorrow and regret threatening to swallow him whole. 'I wish I could tell you everything. Wish I could make you understand...'

But making you understand would also mean he would have to tell you and show you everything about him, and he dreads that. Because everyone he has ever shown the him behind the designer suits, fancy cars, laser red stares, and cool exterior has abandoned him. Broken his heart. Taken his affection and stomped on it.

He is afraid of what will happen if he does show you who he is because he has no idea what you'll do if he does. That is the reason he separated from you-to leave you before you left him. To save himself the heartbreak and you the horror of seeing that he is nothing like the man you thought he was.

It doesn't make it any better than you're so sweet. So kind. So different from the rest. The temptation to show you everything-the blood, the pain, the scars, the mistakes, the regrets-frightens him so.

"I'm sorry" is all he can say to you now, sitting awkwardly in the driver's seat, his hands gripping the steering wheel for dear life to avoid trembling. He doesn't want to appear weak with you, his dear, precious little singer.

It is so lame, so trivial, but it is all he can muster to tell you now despite the brown liquor fogging his sense of rationality and his filter. He wants so much to tell you how much he misses you.

How he cannot fall asleep without envisioning your face next to him.

How he hasn't washed his pillow since the last time you slept on it just to smell your perfume on it.

How there has been no other woman in his bed or in his arms since you departed.

But he keeps it all back...for now. You look up at him now, turning away from the raindrops to finally put those pretty eyes on him. He nearly swallows his tongue at your beauty-your creamy skin that contrasts his; your baby face and dimples; your curly black hair made even curlier from the rain. The urge to kiss you lingers in the air.

"I don't get it," you say aloud, frustration and confusion evident in your tone and the crease in your brow. "What do you want?"

Bakugou blinks at you, not counting on the question being asked. It should be so easy to reply to, but he can't. Because if he says "you" then he will be forced to tell you the real reason why he ended your relationship: because he is afraid.

The silence must frustrate you more because your cute little lips purse, something you do when you're irritated. "What do you want, Katsuki?" you ask again, your frustration growing.

Finally, Bakugou relaxes his hold on the steering wheel and replaces it with your small, warm hands. You stare at his bigger, calloused, inked ones interlaced with yours as if you can't believe he is touching you. "I want you happy," he answers, true and genuine. "Even if it isn't with me, Y/N. I need you to be happy."

And despite the utter anguish that his response brings, despite the fact that he would be heartbroken if you were to end up with that stupid extra "Todoroki" or some other chump, if you were to be happier than you were with him, that would be the answer to his nightly prayers.

But he would also be lying if he said that he wouldn't be filled with envy for the rest of his days and dying to take the spot of the other man in your arms.

[person25]

Organizing my thoughts/feelings towards Naruto ships and my thoughts/feelings on it (also disclaimer I can’t outright hate any ship, I can always get why people ship it so no bashing in this!)

Let’s start with Canon(if one’s not here then I have zero opinion on it):

ShikaTema: They’re widely liked among the fandom. I don’t hate them. They’re cute and had good development. I would never read a fic for them though so. Take that as you will.

NaruHina: Oh boy. Let’s get into this. So, the thing with them is I love that they could give each other the loving family that that never had growing up. I enjoy them as they are in canon. They’re just..not my favorite romance wise, ya know? I wouldn’t read a fic for them.

SasuSaku: Now these guys, I like these guys. I used to not like them so much but they’ve grown on me a lot. Their dynamic is good and does have development despite what others might say. I would read a fic for them.

NejiTen (they’re canon to me): They could’ve been so much more😭 The one ship with the obvious romantic tension(early on). Probably wouldn’t read a fic for them though.

Non-Canon Straight Ships:

ShikaIno: I think they could’ve grown together as people. Him getting over the sexism. Her getting over the obsession with her looks. Though, honestly, I don’t mind their canon interests it would’ve been interesting to see them together. Would read a fic if it fit specific standards.

LeeSaku: I can see why people ship them, but personally don’t like them romantically. Would not read a fic for them.

KibaHina: I like them. Misunderstanding trope would go crazy with these two. Wouldn’t read a fic but i sure as hell could write one.

NaruSaku: My loves. They could’ve been so much more😔 Though, with them, I love their dynamic in anyway shape or form so I don’t mind that they didn’t end up canon as long as they stay friends. Would read a fic for them.

Non-canon queer ships:

ObiKaka: I love them in a way that nobody else loves them. I like the idea of their og team being a love triangle in the actual way. Obito likes Rin, Rin likes Kakashi, Kakashi likes Obito. But of course, Kakashi couldn’t handle emotions bc of course. Would read a fic for them.

KakaIru: I love them in a married couple and their adopted child way. Not too crazy about them though. Would read a fic where they main pairing but would enjoy their romantic side-plot.

SakuHina: I have very complicated feelings towards this ship. So, the thing with them is I know most people only shipped them so that sasunaru’s wives were out of the way. I don’t like that. But if someone likes them for different reasons then ily. Wouldn’t read a fic for them.

SakuIno: FAV WLW SHIP😍 So much potential. Another pairing that could grow together + the comphet thing they got going on. I would read a fic for them.

ShikaNaru: Holy biscuits guys, I love them. Naruto’s first friend. The Hokage and his advisor?! I also love the idea of Chill Guy Shikamaru with the most unchill person in existence. Would read a fic for them.

SasuNaru: Very first queer ship I ever shipped (that’s crazy) back in the day. Of course I love them!! The bond they share is like no other in the show. They’re like, literally soulmates. Sun and Moon. As Sasuke said, his “ONE AND ONLY…friend!” Would read a fic for them.

MadaTobi: Oh my lord. I love them. Was very confused when i first discovered this ship. I definitely understand now. They’re so divorced in the war arc lmao. Would read a fic for them.

Team 7: As in, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. This is a no brainer since I love all of these ships individually. It’s very “I’m bisexual and my girl and guy crushes started dating😕” They figure it out eventually. Would read a fic for them.

Boruto ships:

InoHima: They’re cute. Love a ship where the girl is stronger than the guy. The implied future canon ships in Boruto have a lot more development earlier on than the Naruto canon ones do so i’m really enjoying it. Though, I wouldn’t read a fic for them just yet (this may change).

BoruSara: By far my favorite straight ship in all Naruto media. Way up there in all time favs. Love an Uchiha x Uzumaki ship, but honestly, I don’t ship them this crazily because they’re the next best thing behind sasunaru. They have a completely different dynamic that i love. Would read a fic for.

Holy yap bro.

Anyway, if you wanna hear my thoughts on any other ships or a more in depth breakdown of any previously mentioned just let me know!

This post was mainly just me sorting through how i felt because i’ve had some pretty complicated relationships with some of these guys.

[zvezdacito]

Diasomnia sexuality (and some gender) headcanons I just wanted to yap about for no reason:

Malleus: Demiromantic Bisexual

-> There's that joke that he doesn't gaf about gender as long as it's Yuu, but (for the demiromantic part) I also like the idea that he's ride-or-die, sentimental and clingy for anyone he gets close to. So generally the only difference for how he cares about people is the type of attraction + specific boundaries (can be slightly possessive in a different way for a romantic interest? Idk)

-> Also not really sexuality but I see his gender as that "I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job so idrc about that rn" tweet but for being the next king In general I think being acespec & nonbinary would be extra perplexing for bro since he never stopped to think about personal identity stuff like that for too long (too duty-pilled🥀)

-> Being dense about regular emotional experiences + actual difference in the norms of attraction and gender add to the gap of understanding between him and others

Lilia: Bisexual (not really a sexuality but he's also polyamorous)

-> This isn't sexuality again but I also think transfeminine Lilia is cool, I genuinely believed that Lilia was just a woman with a really deep voice the first time I saw him (I was watching him vs Leona in Book 2 out of context). There's no way to easily explain this in English but by this the specific identity i see him as is basically 'bakla' in the Philippines. It is really its own gender identity in our culture and isn't a "direct equivalent" of any one anglophone label, but for the sake of non-filipinos i guess you can just understand this to mean i see Lilia as "nonbinary transfem in the Filipino way"👍

-> I think it would align with his story in a good way with how she's maligned by the senate and such, how even as a soldier Lilia was coloring her hair for style. It's also like that thing where a guy who was already considered obviously effeminate and "one of the girls" atp (I see Meleanor as kids playing with Lilia in typically "girly" ways and encouraging his cuteness/hair styling) comes out later on as actually a girl/fem nonbinary

-> General Lilia is this is that type of situation where a transfem person can't really go all out with their expression because current life-threatening circumstances require "masculinity" or their focus to be exclusively on external matters (in this case its Lilia being a lowly bat soldier in an active war. Similar to Malleus, an idea of patriotic obligation stops him from really questioning or exploring since the country needs "strength" and "unity" in these times, there was also just really little time to wonder when you're fighting for your life everyday). But after retiring Lilia is able to realize she likes being perceived as cute and begins going all out in her appearance👍

Lilia edit with the article this headcanon reminds me of:

Silver: Aroace

-> Thought it would be a kind of cool subversion of the usual fairytale prince archetype Silver is made to emulate, where romance is the greatest and purest love and marriage is THE happy end. I think it aligns with Silver wanting to spend his life "repaying" the kindness of Malleus and Lilia; if they asked him to think about gertting a family of his own in the future, I think he'd just say the true love he's found in life is already them. A knight who dedicates his lifetime devotion to familial love instead

Sebek: Gaylm

-> One of bro's most notable character gags is glazing another man at every opportunity so yeah /j. Also fsr I just can't see him as a man romantically with a woman no matter what lol

(THIS ISN'T OBJECTIVE THOUGH this is just how I personally sense his vibes. Go crazy fellow fem yumes and OC artists. You are the pillars of this earth)

⚠️ My only disclaimer is that I am cisgender so the gender headcanons are only me relating the characters to scholarly articles on transfem experiences/from personal accounts of transfem and nonbinary people online and irl.

Another reminder that these are all headcanons made by viewing canon in a specific way, not me saying they're definitively any of these identities. You can still have cis or male malleus and lilia if you prefer that😭

That is all. Thank you for reading👊🔥

[msunitedstatesjames]

I'm sure I'm gonna be preaching to the choir on this one, Tumblr gamers being who they are, but I don't use any other social media where discourse is really a thing, so here we are. Mild Kingdom Come Deliverance II spoilers incoming.

On other social media platforms, I continue to see people criticize the Henry/Hans romance option, primarily by saying that it is unrealistic and makes no sense. I wanted to address that because personally I felt it to be highly realistic. A couple of disclaimers here, I'm not an expert on the 1400s, nor am I gay or bisexual. But I do have a background in literary analysis, and examining characters and stories in video games isn't so different from doing it in books.

I've seen some people claim that Hans couldn't possibly canonically have feelings for Henry because Hans is based on a real person. I'll address this one first because it's such a patently ridiculous argument. My dudes, I hate to break it to you, but most of the specific details of in game Hans were designed for a video game. I think it's safe to say that every interaction and relationship and event he goes through in the games isn't necessarily a true reflection of the real-life Hans' lived experiences.

I guess, other than that, I really can't understand what people thought was unrealistic about their romance option. Yes, it would have been forbidden and considered one of the greatest moral trespasses of the time. Yes, the punishment for such an act would mostly have been extreme, possibly castration, possibly being burned at the stake. And yet, real people in Europe in the middle ages still had same sex relationships. We know they did because we have real historical information about people being punished for that very reason. On top of that, there have been a number of nobles who were strongly rumored to have same sex relationships, which isn't the same as proof I guess, but it's not exactly the sort of thing you would openly write about in letters to your pals, not when it was a risk to your life. And I hope we can all agree that people interested in same sex relationships always existed, even if they couldn’t be open about it and didn't have the words for it that we have now.

I guess some people are more likely to say that it didn't make sense based on the specific natures of the characters involved. And honestly, I also don't really buy that one. I'm really not sure which aspects of their characters make it impossible or unlikely for them to have romantic feelings for one another.

It's certainly canon that Hans at least is pretty unconcerned about Christian morality. He's out there committing pretty major sins on the regular and is entirely unrepetant. He gets drunk, has unmarried sex, has sex for fun rather than for reproduction, is lustful, is too proud, and even breaks purely human laws such as poaching (though maybe you don't count that one since he is a noble). He loves doing anything he considers fun or thrilling, anything that will relieve his boredom, and he rarely takes into consideration the risks or consequences of such actions. I have no problem at all believing he would be willing to risk having sex with a man under the right circumstances, if only because it would be different and exciting, and I can't imagine circumstances more conducive to this possibility than the circumstances in this game, but we'll get to that later.

As for Henry, unless you play him as a very specific, extremely moral type, I think he's not a whole lot more strictly moral than Hans. Henry can get up to pretty much all the same things as Hans, and unless you're really careful with your choices, he still gets up to things that you don't intend. I play pretty much "in universe moral" characters in RPGs, but even my Henry occasionally steals, loots, gets drunk, and has sex. Some of that was by choice, some was just the result of cutscenes that happened with certain quests. At his strictest, I would say Henry is still at least passively accepting of "immorality" purely based on his friendship with Hans, who drags Henry into his shenanigans more often than not. So I don't think it's impossible for him to have romantic or sexual interest in Hans either, at least based on morality.

I also don't think the nature of their friendship precludes the possibility of a romantic or sexual entaglement. Some people argue that they're just close male friends, and if that's how you play your Henry then that's true, but the nature of their friendship doesn't make it impossible for any other kind of feelings to exist between them in character arcs different from yours. I would say it's pretty generally accepted that by the end of the 2nd game, Henry and Hans certainly love each other in one meaning of the word at least. Obviously they have the love of two extremely close friends. They've been through hell together, and they've both directly risked their lives to save each other when they could easily have left the other to die. You don't often do that for people that you don't love. But loving each other as friends doesn't mean they can't love each other in a romantic way as well, or least have an attraction to each other. Lots of real life couples or sexual partners have started out as friends, and even those that didn't still often consider their partner to be their best friend. So I don't see friendship as something that excludes the possibility of love or sex. (Not to mention the multiple real life examples of soldiers who have fought together, grown close through thier struggles, and eventually ended up growing into some form of sexual or romantic relationship.)

I've listed some of the reasons I don't find their romance to be unrealistic, now let me tell you some of the reasons I do find it realistic and well done.

I've already mentioned that if the circumstances were right, I have no problem imagining Hans trying to hook up with a man. And the circumstances for their romance scene were almost ideal as a setup (which I imagine was the point). Obviously, this would be a hugely risky venture, even for someone like Hans who doesn't worry much about consequences and is generally protected from legal consequences due to his status. So if you were going to undertake a same sex relationship or liason of some kind, I would imagine you would want one of two situations to be true. Either you would want to keep things as anonymous as possible, so there's little chance of your secret getting out, or you would want to be with someone you trust implicitly. Henry and Hans would certainly fall in the latter category. Hans already knows Henry would be willing to die to protect him. Even if the worst happened and Henry was completely disgusted with Hans, he certainly wouldn't turn Hans over to the church to be burned at the stake. Hans might lose his best friend and protector, which would be terrible, but at least he wouldn't lose his life.

The direness of their situation also works in favor of their romance. It adds a lot of urgency to the whole situation. It gives it a "now or never" feeling, that might make people act on impulses they never would have before. There's a good chance in this scene that one or both of them might die very soon. If that's the case, the very serious possible consequences suddenly seem a lot less important. What does it matter that the church might burn you if you're already going to be dead before they have the chance? Even losing Henry as a friend, terrible though it would be for Hans, wouldn't matter much if they were both going to die anyway.

And I think the way they set up the whole scene and the character reactions really adds to the realism factor as well. Henry's initial impulse, to push Hans away, seems very real considering the society they live in. Even though the player as Henry chooses to kiss Hans, Henry still isn't able to bring himself to do it. All he can manage are some vaguely comforting words and a brief clasp of Hans' hand. Hans makes the first move, which realistically, as a noble and Henry's superior, I think he would have to in this time. Henry is ultimately in more danger than Hans here in terms of societal protections, though arguably Hans has a lot more to lose materially. And it makes sense for Henry to be programmed to feel a certain amount of alarm and disgust as a protective impulse to a man kissing him in this sort of society. Hans reacts so well, too. There's so many layers to the emotions on his face in this scene. You can watch him flicker quickly between surprise, regret, panic, self loathing, and resignation. Which seems pretty on point for someone who believes he just ruined his only real friendship and, despite trusting Henry, who might have just put himself in far reaching peril. But then Henry has a moment to reflect and witness Hans' distress, and he realizes what he wants and all the reasons they might as well give it a go, and he very reasonably locks the door and goes back to Hans.

And I think the realism to their romance comes all throughout the game, before, during, and after the romance scene. The few chances you have for Henry to flirt with Hans are all very tame, almost coded and carefully said so as to be easily explained away by any listener (or by Hans if he doesn't feel the same way) as words between two friends. Mostly, Henry emphasizes that he cares about Hans and wants to support him, all things that could easily be true between two good friends, especially when one's job is to protect the other. The absolute most hardcore flirting Henry does before the romance scene is to tell Hans that he really cares about him, and Hans will pretty calmly agree with the sentiment. Which, if you're trying to feel out if your friend also feels some kind of attraction to you, but that attraction could get you both killed, is about the best you can do. During the romance scene Hans has to go into an elaborate anecdote about famous knights who just really, really cared about each other. He mentions that there's some aspect of the the tale that he "doesn't have his own words for" (same sex love, anyone?), and he lets Henry point out the similarities between the story and their own relationship. He even goes so far as to imply that he would die if Henry died, without saying it in so many words, which if there's a clearer way to tell someone you love them in a way that you could somehow write off as nonromantic, I don't know it. And then, after hearing Henry tell him throughout the game about how deeply he cares for Hans and wants to spend more time together, Hans still waits until Henry grabs his hand and swears to return to him before he makes a move. Even after the romance, Henry and Hans are still extremely careful to mask their words for listening ears. Henry refers to Hans' "encouragement." Hans refers to "what happened," which could mean anything to an innocent listener, and "me and you." He also mentions that maybe they should find somewhere "more private" to stay, which would seem like a perfectly reasonable thing for a young nobleman to want. They're still, necessarily, being extremely cautious. Which makes it all very realistic to me.

I think some of the Henry/Hans complainers want to act like having a "gay romance" option in the game means the equivalent of what it would mean in modern day or in a fantasy game like BG3. Like they're just going to be walking around 1400s Europe holding hands and making out in public. And maybe that's why they call it unrealistic. But let's be real, whether you choose the romance or not, very little is going to change for Henry and Hans. Hans will still have to get married to a woman, and Henry will probably marry some day, too. There's a good chance they'll both keep sleeping around with whatever women they can in the meantime because at this point nothing would be more suspicious than to stop. At best, Henry will get to stay on in Hans' castle and be his occassional lover when he has to settle down to start a family. All that seems like a pretty realistic rendition of how a Middle Ages same sex relationship would have to look, so I have to wonder how all these people are finding this relationship to be so "unrealistic?"

[somewhere-in-the-rain]

3 things I loved about Onyx Storm (and 3 things I didn’t)

Disclaimer: I gave Onyx Storm 5 stars. Any book that has that kind of emotional effect on me is an immediate favourite. This is just my opinion :)

Spoilers for Onyx Storm ahead

3 things I loved

Domestic Riorgail. Omg. They are my favourite fictional couple ever. Xaden washing Violet’s hair? *chefs kiss*. Calling her “love”? Instant dopamine. I need these two like I need air.

Violet being the most intelligent person in every room. If I wasn’t in love with her before, I am now. I was eating up every moment of her verbally taking down people in positions of power, and she fucking killed it in this book. My personal favourites include telling Halden her plan for the quest squad and getting her way, outsmarting and poisoning the triumvirate, and her monologue to the riders and fliers at the beginning of the book. And Xaden just sitting back and watching and being so proud of her 🥺.

Xaden. Ugh, I adore him. I don’t even feel the need to explain this one. Him having infinite faith in Violet’s ideas and plans, being willing to do anything to protect her, throwing Halden into a wall with his shadows, being 100% down to marry Violet whenever and wherever. He’s still such a drama queen, but I love him.

3 things I didn’t love

That one scene where Violet falls off Tairn and into Xaden’s arms and says “my, my, what else can you do with those shadows” or something. This is so specific, but I got insane second hand embarrassment and had to shut the book because I was cringing so much.

The multiple POVs. Xaden’s, I understand. That happens every book. But Rhiannon’s and Imogen’s just felt so out of place and unnecessary and just really took me out of the story. I think they’re both great characters, but I don't care about their stories like I do Violet’s. I’m going to be so disappointed if RY decides to do multiple POV again in book 4 with anyone other than Xaden and Violet because I think it could genuinely ruin the series.

The plot felt a little episodic. Especially when they were in the Isle Kingdoms (unfortunate, as some of my favourite moments took place here), just going one island to another, meeting new people who all worshipped a different god and had a different trial they had to undergo and a different government system and a different personality type… I just felt a little overwhelmed by the worldbuilding sometimes.

Anyway, I’m not going to emotionally recover for at least a week from binge reading this book, and basically just needed to blurt my thoughts somewhere to clear my head before I forget them all. I hope no one is too emotionally drained from reading Onyx Storm (that’s a lie, you all had better be suffering along with me).

[aesethewitch]

Ghosts 101

Spirit work has always been the ultimate base of my spiritual and magical practices. Some of my earliest clear memories are of encounters with spirits, and I’ve always had a talent for sensing them. In a horror movie setting, I’d be that person who gets the weird feeling in the hallway right before all the doors slam shut at once, feeling the shift in the air before whatever ghoul’s around makes its mischief.

I mention this right out of the gate so that you, the reader, know that most of what I know about ghosts (and spirits in general) comes from personal experience. Not books, not videos, not other people’s work. There’s a lot of UPG in this little essay. Just keep that in mind as you read.

If there’s something you disagree with or have different experiences with, I’m not surprised! Everything in the realm of spirits, including ghosts, can really only be theorized about. Disagreeing opinions, experiences, and theories are very, very welcome. Drop ‘em in the replies, reblogs, or my inbox. Or, if you want, make a post of your own and tag me in it. I want to see them!

Anyways, with that lengthy UPG disclaimer out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff.

What is a Ghost?

I think it’s important to note, though kind of obvious, that ghosts are a sub-category of spirit. All ghosts are spirits, but not all spirits are ghosts. But what is a ghost, exactly?

As with most things, theories differ. In general, ghosts are thought to be… well, dead people. Some folks think that ghosts are the soul, essence, or spirit of a person who has died. Others believe that ghosts are just a fragment of a person’s spirit. But I’ve also seen theories stating that ghosts aren’t really ghosts, they’re echoes or imprints of human energy that once existed in a place.

Then, there are folks who think ghosts don’t exist at all. I can’t really blame them; empirical, repeatable proof of ghosts is tough to get in order to be satisfying in a scientific way. The only reason I personally believe in ghosts is because I’ve had several encounters that can’t otherwise be explained. Plus, for me, it goes hand-in-hand with other types of spirit work. Ghosts being real just makes sense with the framework I use to engage with the world.

So, obviously, there isn’t one single, concrete answer as to what a ghost is. We can only theorize.

My Theories

My personal theory aligns more or less with one of the more common theories. I think that ghosts are the lingering spirits of living beings who have died. Note I say living beings — some people think that only humans can become ghosts, but I think that any living thing can become one. In the case of plants and trees, ghosts behave somewhat differently than animals; but that’s a whole other conversation to be had. For the sake of this post, I plan on focusing mainly on human ghosts.

The way I understand it, ghosts are the whole, complete essence of a person that lingers in the physical realm for a time after their physical body no longer functions. I believe there are also energetic imprints — energy left over from the living, often (but not always) caused and fueled by strong emotions and lingering ties of memory in a place. These imprints can seem like a haunting, but the key difference is that they aren’t sentient. They may echo when you call, but they won’t give answers that are intelligent or timely according to questions asked or stimulus provided by the living. Sort of like recording a ringing bell; playing the bell’s chime back doesn’t ring the bell again. It just plays the sound it knows.

Now, death does funny things to the mind. Depending on the circumstances of the death, a ghost might have full awareness that they were alive, have died, and are now a ghost. I find this is most common for people who died of old age and long-term diseases: people who knew they were nearing the end, for one reason or another.

Ghosts formed from more sudden deaths, on the other hand, are likelier to not know what happened. They may figure it out given time, or they may never learn the truth. As with most other things dealing with individuals, the exact circumstances vary. No two ghosts are exactly the same. Some people don’t become ghosts at all, I’ve found! They simply move on.

Another important aspect of my theories on ghosts is that I think they fade. Unless they’re continually tied to a space, fed a steady supply of energy, and purposely kept in the physical realm, I believe that they can’t sustain a form here. Without a physical body to keep the spirit, soul, consciousness, or whatever we are, a ghost is gradually pulled into the more ethereal side of things. The astral plane, the other side, the afterlife, et cetera; I’m not sure, personally, where they end up. Maybe it depends on what they were attached to in life, maybe it doesn’t. Who knows!

I think this is where I draw the distinction between ghosts and ancestor spirits. “Ancestor spirits,” in my practice, aren’t individual people from my past. Rather, they’re a sort of collective consciousness made up of all the people who came before me who are connected to me through familial, cultural, and blood ties. I like to believe that ghosts become part of that collective when they fade out of the physical world. All this is to say, ghosts are just people who are dead. They won’t be around forever unless they’re bound and kept “fed.”

On Hauntings

The first half of the things everyone wants to know is: How do we know when a ghost is actually present? It’s a good question, one that’s hotly debated in ghost hunting circles. For the sake of argument, I think we need to define the word haunting first.

To be clear, a haunting isn’t just when a ghost is present. A ghost just passing through or lingering for a little while doesn’t necessarily make a haunting. That would be better described as a presence. A haunting, in my opinion, is a long-term, sustained presence of a ghost or imprint.

And the first step to dealing with a haunting is to determine whether the place you’re in is actually haunted. You don’t have to have super sensitive psychic powers to detect the presence of ghosts. Some folks might have an easier time of it than others, but anyone can learn how to discern when a ghost is hanging around.

It’s important to note that commonly-reported signs of ghost presences and hauntings are also symptoms of other issues like mold, electrical issues, pressure changes, carbon monoxide, stress and anxiety, noisy neighbors, animals outside or in the walls (including bugs), sleep apnea or insomnia, and more. It’s important to consider mundane reasons before leaping to magical, spiritual, or ghostly ones.

With that in mind, let’s say that you’ve ruled out all the mundane possibilities, and you’re still left wondering whether that place is capital-H Haunted. How can you tell?

In my experience, there are a few signs that will stick out:

Disembodied sounds, such as voices, knocking, and walking

A pervasive chill or prickling feeling, particularly on parts of the body that are covered

A feeling of being touched, poked, or prodded

Visual disturbances like mist or shadows

Sudden smells that can’t be explained, such as perfume, tobacco, or food

Batteries in things like phones and cameras draining very quickly

Now, note that even with these signs, a lot of these things can happen with spirits that aren’t ghosts. The only way to know for absolutely sure that you’re dealing with a ghost and not a mischievous, physical-realm-poking non-human spirit is to make contact and ask.

My fellow sensitive individuals may experience other signs during a haunting. Depending on where your abilities lie, you might experience stronger sensations or detect signs of a haunting earlier than others who haven’t trained these senses.

What Causes a Haunting?

It’s hard to say. Some people (particularly ghost hunters with big TV shows who need to make those viewer numbers go up) say that ghosts stick around because they’re pissed off or had some tragedy befall them in life. Trauma ties them to their surroundings, trapping them between life and death as a specter, or something like that.

Honestly, all that tells me is that these guys are trying to sell you something (their show). I’ve met maybe two ghosts that were like that, and they had extremely good reasons for it. That’s not to say there aren’t traumatized ghosts out there; just that they aren’t nearly as common or the only explanation for a haunting.

I’m personally not sure what causes some ghosts to linger over others. I think it does partly have to do with emotion, but it may also have to do with the amount of energy the person had left when they died. For example, the ghost of my great-aunt faded within a couple weeks after she died, because she was old, tired, and ready. On the other hand, the ghost of a guy I went to school with who died in an accident a few years ago is still lingering on the train tracks where it happened. It’s an extremely individual thing.

Another part of lingering ghosts and hauntings, I think, is interaction with the living. Without a physical body, the ghost has no native source of energy. Part of working with ghosts, for me, has been learning how to share energy (mine or from other sources) with ghosts to help them communicate, interact, and continue existing. When the energy runs out, they fade. With a steady supply of energy sources, a ghost could theoretically haunt a place indefinitely.

So, what causes a haunting? I don’t really know for sure! What causes a haunting to linger? A steady source of energy, I think.

Making Contact

So, you want to talk to a ghost. Cool! You’ve got a ton of options at your disposal.

There are the witch-typical methods of spirit communication, most of which would work fairly well for talking to ghosts. I’ve talked a little bit about spirit communication methods before in a more general sense, but I find that ghosts don’t always respond well to divination.

In my experience, simpler tools are better. Unless I knew for a fact that a person understood tarot in life, I would be unlikely to use it to talk to their ghost. Tools you can easily explain that provide clear answers would likely serve you best for most ghosts. My biggest suggestions are pendulums, which are easy for ghosts to understand and manipulate, and ouija boards. Yes, yes, I can hear the gasping and booing already.

Listen. Ouija boards are not evil. Ouija is a game. But talking boards really are good tools for talking to ghosts. Again, they’re easy to understand and manipulate. Plus, you can get really clear answers from a talking board if your ghost is chatty.

There are other tools that have been popularized by ghost hunters that may come in handy, too. Personally, I’ve had success with voice recorders catching EVP (electronic voice phenomena) and, on one notable occasion, a ghost box.

Honestly, I’ve had little use for tools like these outside of ghost hunting scenarios where we’re trying to prove ghosts’ existence in a scientific sense. Voice recorders catching wisps of voice in the background are super cool, and I definitely would suggest having one on hand when doing a ghost adventure. But they’re not great for in the moment communication, since you have to stop a recording to listen back to it and then react who knows how long later.

Where ghost boxes are concerned, I’ve only had the one opportunity to try it out. We were in a location I knew to be haunted thanks to previous visits, and it did seem to work okay. I’d like to try it again sometime to see if it was just a fluke or if it’s an actual, viable thing to use. With any tool commonly used in ghost hunting TV shows (or that’s otherwise Popular By Spectacle), I always approach with serious skepticism. Those shows are all about creating a reaction that can be captured; and when they don’t receive a response, they’re liable to make shit up for the cameras. It’s annoying, especially when a tool might really be useful but it’s shrouded in the very necessary skepticism around these shows.

Now, my personal go-to method to connect to ghosts is to just… talk to them. I don’t usually need to use any tools for it. But I’ve spent many, many, many years honing the skills needed to do this. It’s worth learning how to do if you plan on working with spirits, but it does take effort to get good at, even if you have an innate talent for it. If you can, take some time to develop a sense for spirits. Learn what spiritual presences feel like for you. You may not get immediate results at first, but the skill of sensing energy can apply across the board. And even if you get no “real” response, you can still talk to the ghosts.

When you go to communicate with a ghost, just remember that they’re still a person. They’re not a spectacle, though they are fascinating. Not all ghosts are going to want to talk to you. Not all ghosts are going to like you. Be respectful. Treat that ghost like you’d treat any stranger out in the wild. Don’t be an asshole.

On Mediumship

This is mostly just a brief note, since it’s an adjacent topic that I’ve gotten questions about before.

Not everyone who talks to or works with ghosts is a medium. A medium is a particular career or path that describes someone who acts as a connector between the living and the dead. I tend to think of mediums as the telephone in a conversation — relaying messages back and forth. I used to do medium work all the time. It’s an exhausting path that requires a lot of self-discipline and solid boundaries dealing with both the living and the dead. I don’t do it anymore, though I do still communicate and work with ghosts regularly.

Just keep in mind that you don’t have to take on the title or mantle of “medium” in order to talk to, work with, or research ghosts.

Ghostly Q&A

I received a handful of questions about ghosts in the run up to posting this; thank you everyone who sent in a question! If you’ve got a question and want my perspective on it, feel free to drop it in my inbox or in the replies/reblogs of this post.

From @moonmargaritas: “How do you tell the difference between nervousness at discerning the presence of a ghost (new practitioner who still gets jitters 🤙) and sensing actual hostile intent?”

This is a really great question! This is something I had to work through myself when I got started. And honestly, I still get jitters sometimes many years later! It can be scary, even when you’re used to it.

The biggest piece of advice I have is to learn how your body experiences nervousness or anxiety. Where does that sit in your body? What kind of feelings to you experience?

For me, nervousness is a sort of itchy tingling around my shoulders and tightness around my ribs. It also manifests as the feeling of being watched or observed too closely. It’s easy to misattribute those feelings to a ghost’s presence — tingling and feeling like something’s watching? Those are classic ghost interactions! But I know that’s what anxiety feels like. That’s how I feel when the lights go out too fast or I hear a branch snap in the distance.

Once you know, you can work past those feelings and focus on what’s actually happening with the ghost (or spirit). I think of it like knowing when someone’s mad at me. Are they mad, or am I just anxious? It’s the same idea.

And, as a note, ghosts with hostile intent are few and far between. I personally don’t think that most ghosts, even the nastiest ghosts, can actually hurt you; they don’t have the energy resources for it. The ones that do are obvious, and you won't really have to question their intentions. However, you can always work with the communication methods mentioned above to determine the ghost’s feelings and intents. If you’re worried about negative interactions, a bit of salt and rosemary in a little pouch placed in your pocket goes a long way for protection.

From anonymous: “What’s an unusual way people could use to communicate with spirits? Like an expected divination tool or something we should pay more attention to.”

Hmmmm! Honestly, I think that classic, actual call and response is underrated specifically when it comes to ghosts. Yeah, we’ve all seen the Ghost TV Guys call out for a knock or a word or whatever, but when they get a response, they wig out and don’t do anything with it. It’s annoying!! Because genuinely, saying “tap once for yes, twice for no” and asking questions is a really, really solid way to communicate with a ghost when you have no other tools that will work on hand. I’ve had ghosts lead me to important places and objects within houses doing this. I think more people should give it a try without falling prey to the over-the-top reaction of “DID YOU HEAR THAT?!”

From anonymous: What advice would you give someone dealing with a haunting?

For a run-of-the-mill, regular old haunting? Let it run its course. Most hauntings, when left alone, will fade. However, if you’re inclined to talk to the ghost(s), get them to leave quicker, or get them to be less intrusive in your life, there are a few things you could do.

To talk to them, choose a method of communication and try to reach out like I described above. Get to know them if you can, and set some ground rules. If they won’t (or can’t) communicate with you, and you really want them gone, I would probably recommend a gentle banishing ritual. Something that doesn’t scream “get out” so much as kindly say, “It’s time to move on.”

Or, if you don’t want the ghost gone, just a little quieter at night or out of your bedroom, you could set up wards or activity-dampeners around specific spaces. Choose ingredients and spells that protect against unwanted spirits or just unwanted activity. Keep it activated all day long or just at night while you’re trying to sleep.

Thanks for Reading!

Posts like this are usually put on my Ko-Fi as exclusives first, but since the questions in this one came from Tumblr, I decided to post it in both places at once! (:

With that said, if you did enjoy this post, consider throwing a couple dollars at my tip jar. Tips, commissions, and shop purchases get you 30 days of access to my entire backlog of exclusive posts and upcoming ones. Monthly members get continuous access plus extra benefits! All support helps me keep the lights on, so it's very much appreciated.

If you've got Ghost Questions, shoot 'em my way! My inbox is open.

[herstoryheaven]

Pablo Gavira x Reader: You Belong With Me

Prompt: Y/N is conflicted by feelings of uncertainty and doubt in her relationship with Pablo, but his unwavering love provides the reassurance she needs.

Reader: Female

Word count: 1158

Average reading time: 4 min 15 sec

Category: Hurt/Comfort

Warning: This story contains themes of self-doubt and insecurity in the context of a romantic relationship. If you are sensitive to these topics, please read with care.

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Disclaimer: All events portrayed in my stories are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental. Any actions or behaviours portrayed by the characters may differ from reality and cannot be connected to any actual person. This work is purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only.

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The sun was setting over the Barcelona skyline, casting a golden glow across the city. You stood on the balcony, gazing out at the breathtaking view, but your mind was far from the beauty before you. A soft breeze rustled your hair, and you sighed, lost in thought.

“Amore, what’s wrong?” Pablo’s voice was gentle as he joined you on the balcony, his hand finding yours and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

You forced a smile. “Nothing, really.”

He raised an eyebrow, not buying it. “You’ve been quiet all evening. I know something’s bothering you.”

You looked down, the words catching in your throat. “It’s silly.”

“Nothing you feel is silly to me,” he said softly, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. “Tell me.”

You took a deep breath. “I just… I don’t feel like I belong here, with you. In your world. It’s so different from mine.”

He turned to face you, his expression serious, yet tender. “Why would you think that?”

You shrugged, trying to keep your emotions in check. “Look at you, Pablo. You’re confident, talented, surrounded by people who adore you. And then there’s me. I’m just… ordinary.”

His eyes softened as he cupped your face in his hands, his touch gentle and warm. “Amore, you are anything but ordinary. You’re the one who makes my world brighter, who understands me like no one else does. You belong here with me, more than anyone.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, and you tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let you. “You don’t have to say that.”

“But I mean it,” he insisted, his voice full of sincerity. “You’re my princesa. My everything. Without you, none of this would mean anything.”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back the tears. “It’s just hard sometimes. Seeing all these people around you, wondering if I’m enough.”

He pulled you into his arms, holding you close. “Amore you are more than enough. Everything about you is just perfect, exactly as you are. There's no need to change a single thing. Every day, I feel incredibly grateful for who you are and everything you bring into my life."

You buried your face in his chest, letting his warmth and words soothe your insecurities. “I love you too, Pablo.”

He kissed the top of your head, his embrace tightening. “We’re in this together, amore. Always.”

You tilted your head up, and he met your gaze, his eyes full of love and promise. He leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, tender kiss that made your heart swell. His fingers traced gentle patterns on your back, sending shivers down your spine.

As you pulled back slightly, breathless, he rested his forehead against yours. “I love seeing you smile. It’s my favorite sight in the world.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling the warmth of his words spread through you. “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe,” he agreed, his lips brushing against yours in another kiss, this time deeper and more lingering. “But I’m yours.”

For a while, the two of you stood there in comfortable silence, holding each other as the sky turned from gold to deep orange, then purple. The city’s lights began to twinkle, creating a magical backdrop. Yet, despite the beauty surrounding you, doubts still lingered in your mind.

“Pablo,” you began hesitantly, “do you ever wonder if we’re too different? If this… us… can really work?”

He pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes with a serious expression. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, voice trembling. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just an ordinary girl in this extraordinary life of yours. Like I’ll never be enough to keep up with everything you are.”

His face softened with understanding, and he took your hands in his. “Princesa, listen to me. I chose you. Out of everyone in the world, it’s you I want by my side. Not because you’re some perfect image of what you think I need, but because you’re you. I love your kindness, your strength, the way you make me laugh, and the way you understand me. You ground me, and that’s more important than anything else.”

You blinked back tears, feeling the sincerity in his words. “But what if I can’t live up to that?”

“You already do,” he whispered, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped down your cheek. “Every single day. And even on the days when you don’t see it, I do. I see how much you care, how much you try. And that’s all I could ever ask for.”

You sniffled, a small smile breaking through. “I just don’t want to let you down.”

“You could never let me down,” he said firmly. “We’re in this together, remember? We’ll face everything, good and bad, side by side. And I promise, I’ll always be here to remind you of how incredible you are.”

Before you could respond, he captured your lips in a passionate kiss, pouring all his love and reassurance into it. His hands cradled your face, fingers gently threading through your hair. When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours.

“I love you,” he murmured, his voice soft and filled with emotion. “More than words can say.”

“I love you too, Pablo,” you whispered back, your heart swelling with a mix of love and relief.

He smiled, that boyish grin that always melted your heart. “Come on, let’s go inside. I made dinner.”

You laughed softly, feeling the tension drain from your body. “You cooked?”

“Okay, maybe I ordered from your favorite place,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “But it’s the thought that counts, right?”

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “It definitely is.”

He led you back inside, his hand never leaving yours. The apartment was filled with the delicious aroma of your favorite dishes, and you felt a warmth settle in your chest. As you sat down to eat, Pablo kept the conversation light, making you laugh with his stories and silly jokes.

After dinner, he pulled you onto the couch, snuggling close as you watched a movie. His fingers traced gentle patterns on your arm, and you leaned into his embrace, feeling more content than you had in a long time.

“See?” he murmured against your hair. “We’re perfect together.”

You smiled, turning your head to kiss his cheek. “Yeah, we are.”

As the night wore on, you fell asleep in his arms, the doubts and insecurities melting away. With Pablo by your side, you knew you could face anything. And as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, you realized that you truly did belong in his world, just as he belonged in yours.

In that moment, wrapped in each other’s love and warmth, everything felt right. The future might hold challenges, but together, you were unstoppable. And that was all that mattered.

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Copyright: All stories contained herein are the intellectual property of the author. Unauthorized copying, reproduction, or distribution of these stories, in whole or in part, without explicit written permission from the author, is strictly prohibited and may result in legal action. Respect the creator's rights and creativity. For permissions or inquiries, please contact: herstoryheaven@gmail.com.

Request Guidelines: When submitting a request, please ensure that your request does not contain any explicit sexual content or graphic depictions, and avoid any form of extreme violence or graphic descriptions of violent acts. I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a respectful and inclusive environment for all readers. If you're unsure about your request or want to request about someone I haven't written about yet, feel free to ask me anytime.

[animelovelover123]

I was thinking a Yandere Reboot Dante who's obsessed with bartender reader! She works at a strip club he visits. They've become friendly with each other, but she rejects his advances. He tries to make her jealous, but it doesn't work. To which he kidnaps her and takes her back to his place/van to which the non con pursues.

I know his van was canonically destroyed, but the scene where his van was shaking from having sex, made me feral!! Thanks for letting me send this! Let me know if this is too long, I will shorten the idea! 🥹😈

What a devilishly dirty idea (　・`ω・´). Here you go; I hope I didn't destroy it by condensing it so much. Also, I should warn you that my editor is not comfortable with some things, including non-con, and I respect their feelings so this story was not beta read. I'm sorry in advance for the mistakes.

Yandere Reboot Dante X Reader - Incorrigible For Devil's Dalliance’s Angel

Disclaimer: This fictional story contains mature subject matter that is written with the intent to be appealing and/or arousing. If you are reading this, please understand that drawing/writing/reading/imagining things of this nature does NOT equate to desiring or supporting real-world assault. Here is a link to multiple articles and studies on sexual taboos in fantasy, what role it plays, and what effect it has on people.

Trigger Warnings: rape, stalking, kidnapping, degrading comments towards others (not reader), somnophilia, bound wrists

Yet again, for the 4th night in a row, Dante found himself at Devil's Dalliance. He would have been there every night, but you only work 5 days a week. He didn’t bother with the dancefloor where the strippers were twirling around poles. He took an immediate left turn to get to the bar along the left wall where you were.

“Hey angel!” He called out to you, using that nickname since the strippers that worked here were dressed as them, but you were the only one worthy of the actual title. He went to sit down but before his ass hit the stool his usual order came sliding across the bar. He caught it with ease, then looked over at you as you gave him a smile and a hand motion before turning to deal with someone else.

God damn, you were perfect. You knew him so well. And you had that sexy smile and how you swayed your hips as you moved contrasting the cheap wings that were part of your work uniform made you look cute, innocent, and corruptible. If only you would come closer. You two got along well and have spent collective hours in the past chatting between customers. Today, though, it was busy with chicks with far too much confidence considering how much makeup and injections they have to have to make them look decent and sleezy douchebags already shitfaced and shooting their shots with anything with tits. Fuck'em. Fuck them all. They were wasting your time, time that should be spent with Dante. Yet they had you rushing around as they barked orders at you and caused problems. It was enough to make Dante slam his glass down onto the counter after chugging it in frustration.

When he did, another glass came sliding into his view. He looked up and there you were again, giving him that smile and showing him that you were still paying some attention to him. Jesus Christ, he wanted to bend you over the fucking bar.

But there you go, not saying a word to him, just going back to work like you didn’t feel the connection between you, like you weren’t as desperate for his attention as he was for yours. Sure, you had rejected him when he had offered to take you to his place every other night, but that was different. You were just tired, thought he was joking, and didn’t know what he could do yet. You didn’t know how he could rail you so hard you wouldn’t be able to walk the next morning. How he could go for hours, leaving you a blithering mess as he licks up his cum spilling out of your pussy while the sun rises. How he can make your body learn that no other cock or dildo can satisfy you. You needed a showcase, a demonstration of what he can do and something to light a fire under that pretty ass of yours, revealing how you can’t stand to see him with some other chick.

And so, Dante grabbed his drink and made his way to the dance floor.

“Dante, hey!”

Well that didn’t take long. He was barely on the flashing floor before some bimbo ran up to wrap her arms around one of his.

“Hey babe, how’ve you been doing?” He asked, assuming by her greeting that they knew each other. Maybe he has fucked her before, he wouldn’t remember and definitely wouldn’t care to. Right now though, they could help each other.

“It’s been lonely working all week without being able to see you.” The way she squeezed her boobs against his arms and looked up at him through those fake ass lashes made it clear that she wanted some action, and he wanted to show off his moves, so they would both get something out of this.

“Well now you’ve got my attention, so enjoy it.” Dante flashed that grin that made girls weak in the knees, and it had the same effect. “Come on babe, follow me.” He gave her a wink and wrapped an arm around her waist to lead her back towards the bar where you worked. There was a small chunk of wall beside where people can get behind the bar, that would be good enough.

In one swift, fluid movement, Dante pushed the woman up against the wall. She let out a squeak in shock but couldn’t say anything as he slammed his lips into hers. She moaned, squirmed, and opened her mouth for him. Perfect, he already had her falling apart for him. Were you watching? Did you see what could be yours?

But you weren’t, you were talking to some fat fuck while making his drink. Out of frustration, Dante placed his drink on the counter beside them and purposely pushed it off. The shattering sound made everyone but Dante jump in shock. Even the chick he had pinned to the wall let out a scream and pulled back. She tried to move away, but Dante wouldn’t let her, keeping her pinned there so you could see. Finally, you looked his way, and here you come! You can see, right? How he got this girl wet just from making out a bit? You want this, right?

You came over, grabbed a broom nearby, swept up the glass, offered another smile, then just walked away!?

“Fuck.” Dante snarled as he stepped back.

“Wait, Dante,” The woman said as she tried to follow, but Dante smacked her hand away.

“Not in the mood, fuck off.” Dante could hear the woman calling him and eventually cursing but he did not give a shit. He was pissed off beyond belief. How could you not care, not even blink an eye? Fuck, he wanted to hit something.

Before he could find a dumbass to be his stress ball, he noticed you leaving the bar. Like a predator stalking prey, Dante followed you with his eyes until you disappeared into the back rooms of the club. Seeing you disappear from sight made his anger worse. How dare you just leave. How dare you leave his side.

“Not anymore.” Dante stormed after you, following fleeting glimpses of you further into the building and up some stairs until finally you reached your destination. It looked like some break room, with a couch and fridge and microwave, basic shit that barely registered in Dante’s mind. His eyes, his thoughts, his heart was focused on you. How you turned to greet whoever joined you in the break room, how you froze when you realized it wasn’t a co-worker, that confused smile at recognizing him but knowing that he shouldn’t be there, and how it fell away as he stalked closer.

The sound of the music blared through the building and spilled out into the streets, making it so that no one heard the sound of a struggle in the breakroom. The sound of screaming, furniture being toppled, then silence. And with how drunk, and for some also high, they were, no one even noticed the young man jumping from the second story of the club and over roofs with an unconscious woman over his shoulder.

×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×

Dante laid you down on his creaky, dirty bed, one that was not visually worthy of you, even with the trickles of blood dried on your head and face that blended in with his red pillowcases and sheets. That made it all the hotter. Seeing you lying there, seemingly sleeping peacefully with that perfect face and body, white wings popping out from behind your back, while surrounded by his filth. The two things were juxtaposed, and he wanted to keep it like that. He was scum, dirty, maybe not even human. But you, in comparison, were pure. Despite where you worked you weren’t some cheeks slut, you held your head high, stood your ground, and kept your tongue sharp. Yet you were still kind to him, treated him like a person, not a problem or something to fuck. You were…

“My angel,” Dante whispered as he crawled over you on the bed. He leaned down, bringing your lips close enough to just barely touch and ran his hands up your sides. He held there for a moment, taking in the sensations. Your warmth, your heartbeat, your breath, before finally capturing your lips, and something in him broke. After you had been rejecting him for weeks, now he had you; you were here, and he could give you everything. He could take everything.

The sound of his belt unclasping seemed to ring through the trailer despite his heavy breaths and his hips grinding down into you, making the bed creak. He couldn’t tear his lips away from your skin so fumbled a bit with his hands when he lifted your arms and, using his belt, bound your wrists to the clasped hands of the heavy as hell metal and neon light encircled angel statue behind his bed. A fitting shackle in his mind. Gagging you popped into his head for only a second, but he pushed it aside. It was late at night and everyone who knew him would be used to screams of ecstasy coming from his trailer late into the night. Plus, he NEEDED to be able to kiss you.

×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×

When your consciousness came back to you, the first things you are aware of are the soreness in your jaw, a salty taste in your mouth, and the feeling of something opening up your folds, subjecting that hot skin to the cool night air. And when something warm and wet slid between them, your body instinctively reacted.

Dante’s heart jumped and a spike of arousal hit him when you finally properly reacted to his touch. He lifts his head from your crotch, the taste of your pussy still fresh on his tongue.

“You’re awake.” Dante crawled back up the bed to hover over you, though one hand stayed low to cup your sex, sliding his fingers between your lower lips to gather slick. Before you could speak, he slammed his lips against yours, his tongue ravaging your mouth, tasting the mix of you and the residuals of his essence. He could feel you squirm, but it was no use. You couldn’t escape your bindings or him. And besides, he wanted you to squirm a bit. It made your body rub against his, your tits jiggle freely since he had removed your top and bra to suck on them, and your heart beat faster. It made you feel alive. When Dante finally pulled back, his lungs dragging air in slowly like he was drowning as he looked down at you, his eyes dark with lust and something inhuman. “You made me wait a while, angel, but I suppose that's my fault. Either way, now that you're awake, I don’t need to hold back anymore.” The two fingers he was using to spread the slick around your folds were suddenly impaled you, burrowing themselves in your core. “I wanted to make sure you were awake when I finally fuck you.”

『♡』•『♡』•『♡』•『♡』•『♡』•『♡』•『♡』•『♡』•『♡』•『♡』

This was a bit hard for me because the one thing that takes me out of reader stories the most is when the author decides what I say and what I do, so I try to avoid it. That was hard with this but I did my best. ^^;

[neohoestechnology]

I absolutely love your moodboards and headcanons! Could you do one for Draco? 🥰🫶🏻

Thank you so much!!💗💗

I'm SO sorry it took so long (mainly because I saw the request yesterday 🫠 my university is KILLING me sorry😭). This is LONG so bare with me + my English is rusty af so I apologize for any grammar mistake

☆ Draco Malfoy Headcanons & Moodboard ☆

Okay, so, a quick disclaimer here before we get started -----> now, I really believe that Draco is one the most tricky character to "get right" (speaking of his behavior and thoughts), so I just wanted to say that this is my personal interpretation and could be 100% different from yours so please be kind🥹

Oh boy, it took A LOT for you two to finally get together; a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of sacrifice and arguments between both of you and your friends. Just a lot.

I think we can all agree that our beloved boy couldn't care less about girls before during his first years at Hogwarts. Some things changed as time passed by, a lot, actually. He changed in the first place, becoming old enough to finally understand his family affairs and secrets. He HAD to change. He wanted to gain strength to be able to carry this new burden on his shoulders and to show his worth, but it all developed into a self-destruction, never-ending cycle that made him feel left out and alone. You, on the other hand, always seemed to have all figured out, and always looked so calm and caring. Truth is that you also felt like you were missing something, like you didn't really fit in for some reason.

It's not really clear how or why you two got together, but somehow, it happened.

Your caring nature always irritated him. How naive, he thought, but that time you found him crying on the bathroom floor, all alone and desperate, he thanked God that you came.

From this episode, bit by bit, your relationship started to form.

You two are VERY good at keeping it private, very discreet.

At the end of the day, you just have one another to stay with, and you are more than okay with that. People started to get suspicious, though; your friends started to notice your frequent excuses and distance, wondering WHAT ON EARTH they did to make you feel this way. Little did they know about your secret midnight meetings with a boy whose reputation speaks for himself.

Even though you two never show up together as a couple, you actually never feel lonely during the day. It's all about those secretly exchanged gazes, the typical side eye thing from across the room when someone is talking bs, him softly brushing his hand against yours when you are leaving a class and no one can see.

BUT, when you two are ACTUALLY ALONE... Soft touches, hushed words and pleading eyes.

You like to share silence together, there's nothing left to share after your first bathroom rendezvous.

I feel like he smells like wood, like deep forest or something like that, but his smell is kinda comforting (my scent-describing skills are nonexistent sorry😭)

I mean, you can feel his presence even without seeing him.

He has this thing about his eyes, like the way he looks at you. Everyone who played close attention to his gaze could tell it was love and admiration.

LOVES when you run your hands through his hair (sometimes you could swear to hear him purring).

Likes to make flowers appear between the pages of your potion book while taking classes, only to give you a subtle smile and turn his head to read his instructions immediately after.

Your first time together was during the Christmas break, when there were just the two of you in the entire Slytherin dorm. It was the first time he said "I love you" (it's fucking cheesy but I love it eheh). Everything was so slow and sensual. Lips, hands and kisses everywhere. Slow thrusts with your hands intertwined and his head buried in your neck.

His hands are always so cold that he has to keep them in your sleeves (he loves it though)

Likes watching you sleep (not in a creepy way don't worry lol). He'd brush your hair out of your face and caress your face softly.

Would fidget a lot while talking to you, mostly to distract himself from the fact that he gets weak in the knees every time he looks in your eyes, even after all this time. He'd 100% play with your hands or hair just because.

You'd literally yank his hand from his mouth every time he bit his nails or picked at his skin.

He's the type of person who would do hot things without even realizing. He would undo a few buttons of your shirt just to button them up right away just because he thought they looked weirdly asymmetrical, causing you to blush and stutter. And this mf would just tell you to go on and finish what you were saying (okay, maybe he does this on purpose).

You know that the way he behaves around others is just a facade. He is so broken and hopeless that he HAS to act that way around them, but when he's with you, his safe place, he feels so grateful that he gets to get loose from his worries and reveal the real person he is that it scares him how attracted he is to you, how primal his need for you is.

When your friends found out that you were dating Mr Bully Malfoy, they just couldn't wrap their heads around the reason that spurred you to do so. Let's just say that you are not friends anymore. You tried to explain yourself countless times, but they didn't seem to understand nor were willing to do so, and you thought you were better off without them anyway.

He got the same treatment from his friends ngl. It was better this way, honestly. In the end, you just needed one another to feel complete and fulfilled.

He thought about running away with you almost once a day during his 6th year. He knew what, better say who, was coming. He was sure that the death eaters wouldn't spare anyone, maybe himself included. When he first told you, he was sure you would laugh it off and call him paranoid, but instead, you listened to him carefully and decided to plan your escape with him without even flinching.

It was a gloomy night in the middle of the winter. Rushed footsteps were echoing in a corridor, then in the hall, down the stairs. Restless eyes were wandering around the path, occasionally looking back to check no one was tagging after them. A subtle creaking of a rusty gate opening was heard, and then nothing else.

OKAY SO I got WAY MORE carried away than I should and I know this is longer and more serious and dark than what I usually do but I tried my best. Actually, I'm not 100% satisfied with how it turned out and maybe the person who asked it expected something different and more light-hearted, and I apologize for it. Again, writing this character is difficult af.

I do not possess any of these photos, all credits go to the owners.

Love you, B. 🌱🤍

[uriekukistan]

megumi character analysis, fearsome womb arc edition: establishing motivations

as im going through my re-read of jujutsu kaisen, i wanted to share some of my thoughts on characters and topics that im most passionate about, and of course megumi is one of those things. disclaimer, i am only going to be referring to things that occurred during the fearsome womb arc in this post, so the range of material im using to support my points is a bit limited.

my point in doing this is to draw attention to the misconceptions about megumi that lead to the large amount of hate he’s been receiving over the past year. if you keep up with the jjk fandom, you’ve no doubt seen the bumgumi allegations (eye twitches). honestly, i think a lot of this comes from a lack of understanding of megumi’s character, and what pushes him to act, or in some cases, not act. to me, this is absolutely wild, because megumi is one of the characters whose motivations and intentions are stated straight from the beginning, quite possibly some of the clearest stated motivations in the entire series.

i. he was never interested in being a sorcerer and has an established distaste for the system.

i would agree that sometimes megumi is a bit half-assed in his actions, but it’s important to understand why. he isn’t fond of his job. the reasoning behind this is not established until later on, but megumi’s stance is very clear. compared to nobara and yuuji, he’s very focused on getting his job done, rather than saving people.

being a sorcerer is not something he cares particularly about. it's just a task that he has to get done.

there’s also the way he talks about being a jujutsu sorcerer as being a “cog” in a system that he is personally disgusted with, due to the fact that it does nothing to help good people, like tsumiki for example.

sorcerers are one part of a system that completely disgusts him. his decision to save yuuji is another example of this.

his distaste for this system is clearly established early on in the story when he asks gojo to save yuuji because he can’t stand to see a good person like that die just because someone else somewhere said it was “right.” so it makes sense that he’s not going to put his all in all of the time, but it’s not because he’s lazy or a bum or a waste of potential. it’s because of his core sense of justice that has been a part of him and a central theme in jjk since the beginning.

ii. he is interested in saving good people.

i don’t want to spend too much time on this because it’s a pretty discussed and well-recognized aspect of megumi’s character, but this is a pretty fundamental principle behind his actions. for the most part, he is able to buckle down and do what he is “supposed” to do, regardless of if it’s what he personally believes is right, but there’s a visible difference in his effort level when there is someone he believes is good at stake.

when it’s the people he cares about at stake, he can and will push himself beyond his limits. after saving nobara, megumi is completely exhausted.

despite this, he still chooses to stay behind and wait for him, and puts forward the most effort he’d displayed thus far in the series, using his technique and his body more efficiently and more boldly than before, because yuuji is someone he believes is worth saving

he's also ready to let himself die to save yuuji.

in contrast, when fighting against todo, he shows an arguably much lower capacity of both his technique and his physical abilities compared to when he went against sukuna to save yuuji, because what's at stake is "only" himself, not someone he believes is "good," according to his own definition. he's not thinking about how to push his technique to be better or anything like that.

there's far better examples of this in other arcs, so i think i generally spoke about this and how it plays into the megumi hate better here, mostly because i’m restricting my materials for this analysis.

iii. he uses challenges as motivation to push himself beyond his limits.

in a somewhat different direction (aka not fully related to my overall point but i wanted to mention it anyway), megumi uses challenges to his abilities as an opportunity to grow. by challenges, i specifically mean verbal taunts. there’s not quite as many examples of this in just the fearsome womb arc, but probably the best example is when he figures out how to use shadows as an inventory for cursed tools, he remembers what sukuna said to him at the detention center, and it’s what motivates him to grow.

additionally, when he’s fighting against todo, he’s pushed to put more into the fight by todo taunting him and challenging his strength. if only inumaki hadn't stopped them, i would have loved to see what he pulled out...when megumi gets that crazy look, you know it's gonna be good.

this is interesting to me, because megumi is someone who carries a lot of self doubt, but the second someone else starts to doubt him, he pushes himself harder. he doesn’t want others to doubt him, despite constantly doubting himself.

anyway, i hope this was a useful look at why megumi acts the way he does. i think it’s very interesting how much he gets misinterpreted, despite how clearly his characteristics are laid out for the reader.

[daandism]

i think there's something i need to say about Daan and this may be a little "controversial" but i'll try to explain it very detailed because it's quite complex. this is a long post.

disclaimer: it's my view, my personal opinion based on canon stuff and everyone can disagree with me, you're free to do so and i love having healthy, polite discussions so, yeah, feel free to ask me too to add or disagree :3

okay, i'll start straightforward: i don't think he's repulsed towards sex and sexual stuff in general. i'll elaborate because it's something a bit hard to understand considering what he went through.

it's 100% true that he hates everything related to religion and gods, specifically Sylvian and he wants to be away from it as much as possible. In my view, his relationship with the act as it is it's deeper and specific, something that his past shaped but not necessarily made him feel disgust if it's a thing he, consciously, want.

HOWEVER, it doesn't mean he wouldn't feel guilty. This topic i talked more about it here and because i already wrote it I won't go much further on his guilt here. To sum up a little: it would feel to him like a "worship" to Sylvian, but i recommend reading the previous post to understand this topic better.

back to what i was saying about his relationship with sex: i believe he's not against it if he wants, if he consent to it; he probably would enjoy it, but the thought of it remembering the Sylvian cult would make him feel bad, not because he engaged in sexual stuff, it's more like a "paranoia" that even he being fully conscious that he's NOT doing it for Sylvian, that he's doing it because he wants, for his own sake, he still feels like he somewhat is doing it "secretly" for the religion

but he won't stop doing something by fault of a religion himself doesn't "believe" anymore and just uses it when it's convenient (for example, in the game he sacrifices organs to Vitruvia to cure debuffs and the magna-medicinal skill is self explanatory)

i fully believe he still struggles with it, with the two feelings inside of him of wanting to engage in sex with someone and thinking it'll may appease Sylvian. these type of feelings can coexist because human mind is complex, people are complex, their relations with such an intimate topic are also really complex. csa survivors have different relationships with their trauma and engaging again with sex. some are repulsed, some aren't and all these feelings are 100% valid.

in Daan's case, for me, he's not repulsed. he don't think it's a bad thing at all. There are these two party talks, one with O'saa and the other one with Levi and i'll elaborate a bit on them.

the O'saa one is quite obvious the thing they're talking about and Daan's implications. this talk also shows more of his mischievous personality and kudos to it. This kind of thing doesn't "cancel" all he went through and his trauma.

the Levi one is another talk that i find interesting because of the speech that triggers the interaction and his reply to Levi. He's the only contestant that mention the "pleasure" possibility on the top floor of the department store and to consider too the people's will to engage in that voluntarily.

however, there's 2 talks with Abella that are really interesting too.

these two, specially the second one, shows his annoyance towards it too, but when it comes to religion and Sylvian. "But the department store isn't a religious place!", true, but there's drawings on the walls that resembles A LOT to Sylvian's sigil. Besides that, there's a huge difference in talking about a sexual-related matter (like the Levi talk) and helping the people who partake in something similar voluntarily (the second talk with Abella). In the first talk seemed like he didn't want to extend the discussion of what the statue shape resembles.

and i can't elaborate all of this post without talking about the museum party talk with Marcoh. that talk is a recorrent topic on my blog so yeah, you'll see that again.

i explained briefly here about the homoerotic implications of this talk and even though this one is pretty shippy, i'm not here to talk about daanmarcoh, this is a Daan post.

we know the suggestion here and it reinforces what i said earlier, that he doesn't has a problem with it when it's something he's willing to do, when desire to do so. He can want it, feel guilty about it and all of that doesn't mean he's not traumatized and out of character.

i believe his complexity of feelings regarding sexual stuff adds tons of impact on his personality, thoughts and beliefs. maybe that's the reason why i don't have the hc of him being asexual, personally i think it doesn't fit him much (i'm ace myself, so pls don't assume i'm being acephobic). of course, i'm not here to talk shit about other ppl headcanons, that's my personal take and i support everyone who has this hc for him, i understand where it comes from and the different views, they're all valid!

sexuality is an important side of Daan's lore and personality and it needs to be treated seriously because it's essential to understand him better. all of his life was, one way or another, related to sexual stuff and his view and feelings towards it matter too. Sylvian is like a ghost that haunts him since his childhood. I'm not saying he's only sexuality, what i'm trying to say is that's a intrinsic part of him and we can't deny it, he can't be summed to this but we also can't ignore the impact of it on his life. it's part of the complexity of his character and it's interesting to think about it.

pretty extensive text i know but i needed to unlock this from my mind's basement and share. i apologize in advance if something i said was confusing or if i worded poorly; i'd love to discuss it too!

thank you for reading and for your patience!

[akrasianwords]

a few people were interested in my aspd dazai analysis but I feel like no one is seeing the reblog of the essay so it gets its own post now! yap ahead

A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation with an acquaintance about Dazai. At one point, I had offhandedly mentioned that I believe Dazai is someone who deals with ASPD. While I thought it was fairly obviously implied throughout the show, they were quick to disagree with me, offering instead the opinion of him having BPD. Now, I’m not one to start arguments over simple things like this and I could tell they were not the type of person who would enjoy a debate. So like any rational, passionate person, I decided to write a 5 page essay on it instead. In this essay I will elaborate on why I believe ASPD is a better fit diagnosis for Dazai than BPD, present evidence to support it, and talk about why I don’t think he has BPD.

Before we get into this, let’s talk about what exactly ASPD and BPD are. Disclaimer, I am not a professional, nor have I been formally diagnosed with either. So, I am not an expert. However, I do believe I’ve done enough research and have my own personal experiences with a large portion of symptoms of ASPD, as well as having several personal connections to people with BPD, to speak on this.

Antisocial Personality Disorder is a cluster B disorder characterised mostly by a frequent lack of understanding of empathy, using manipulation and/or deception to further one’s own needs or wants, and being generally apathetic towards people’s personal thoughts and feelings. People with ASPD often have a hard time discerning and comprehending morals, forming meaningful attachments with people around them, and caring about societal norms. Overall, the struggle of ASPD is mostly found with morality and empathy.

(I would like to note that just because someone may struggle with these things, it does not mean they are incapable of it. Someone with ASPD is just as able to love and be loved as the next person, they just have a more difficult time overcoming their own personal blocks in order to do so. Similarly, they may struggle with understanding morality but that does not mean they are incapable of conforming to what is widely considered right or wrong. They may have different reasons for being kind or just, such as ‘it’s too much trouble to be bad,’ ‘I like it when others tell me I’m a good person,’ or ‘it’s just what I’m supposed to do.’ This does not mean their actions are invalid, simply that they have differing motivations from the larger population.)

On the other hand, Borderline Personality Disorder, also cluster B, is most well known for intense and irregular mood swings, attachment and abandonment issues, and impulsive and self destructive behaviour. People who deal with BPD typically also struggle with mania, a warped and unstable sense of self, and intense and generally unjustified anger issues. The gist of BPD, at its core, is the inability to regulate thoughts and emotions. Someone with BPD may do a complete 180 emotionally because of something another individual may deem small or insignificant. A partner forgetting to text back could trigger emotions that have the same weight as if the partner were to break up with them. Someone who has just experienced the death of their father could suddenly the next day feel on top of the world, given the right prompting. BPD is all about the instability and insecurity regarding thoughts, feelings, or identity.

So! How does this relate to Dazai? I’m glad you asked!

Throughout the series, Dazai continuously shows signs and behavioural patterns aligning with that of someone with ASPD. He is constantly seen manipulating people and situations to get the results he desires, he’s outright stated to have no interest or understanding of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, and it’s not uncommon to see him using or mistreating certain people in his life with little to no empathy or regret. The prevalence of this behaviour changes significantly with his transfer to the Armed Detective Agency, but is definitely still something that affects Dazai to this day. If he has to threaten to torture someone to get the information he wants, as seen with Kouyou after Kyouka was taken, or sacrifice one innocent person’s life to end a villain’s, as seen with Rokuzo and Miss Sasaki in his entrance exam, he has no issue doing such.

In the Dark Ages, Oda tells Dazai outright that he doesn’t care about morality. Dazai is as Dazai does, and he has no reservations doing things deemed evil to further his (or Mori’s) own goals. His list of crimes is extensive. His personal relationships are messy and toxic. He has no issue with lying, stealing, or killing. The only reason he decides to pursue the life of a good man is because someone he grew to care for, Oda, had requested it as his dying wish. It’s likely that in stating his understanding of Dazai’s views, or lack thereof, on good and evil, he proved to Dazai that he understood him. This is one of the main factors that convinced Dazai to take his wish into consideration. Knowing that Oda understood his true apathetic nature and still requested this of him convinced Dazai to give Oda’s ideologies a chance. Had Oda not asked it of Dazai, he likely would have stayed with the Port Mafia without much thought to it.

Manipulation is perhaps one of Dazai’s most well known traits. He’s famous for his schemes, his tricks, his ability to transform any person or situation into what he wants them to be. Take Akutagawa for example. Dazai is cruel to him with the interest of moulding him into something the Port Mafia (or himself, later on) can use. He has little to no regard for Akutagawa’s safety or emotions. This is something that, for the most part, follows him into his new life at the Armed Detective Agency. He says and does things to manipulate Akutagawa’s emotions to play in Dazai’s favour. He makes comments about Akutagawa being inferior to Atsushi (‘my new apprentice is superior to you in every way imaginable’), he uses Akutagawa’s admiration against him (ex. The Moby Dick, when Dazai has Atsushi throw the cellphone in order to distract Akutagawa), and he holds the promise of approval over his head in order to get Akutagawa to do things he typically wouldn’t (‘I hope to see you a little more competent now’ during the Cannibalism Arc as he’s told to work with Atsushi).

During the prison arc, Dazai is shown to play a game of chess with Fyodor. It’s obvious what the pieces on the board represent: each piece is a character. Every character plays a role in Dazai’s chess match against the Demon. He’s got his Queen, his Knights, his Bishop, etc. and he’ll manipulate them and the situation as he sees fit in order to win the match. One of the main components to his relationship with Fyodor is how similar they think. Dazai has stated on several occasions that the reason he’s able to predict Fyodor’s actions and plans is because ‘it’s what he would do.’ They share ideas, strategies, and behaviours. Both are prone to manipulation and deception in order to get what they want.

Some other noticeable examples that I’m too lazy to elaborate on but speak for themselves are the scene with the nurse and the phone, the scene where Dazai sends Atsushi to go investigate his own abuser’s death, and when Dazai manipulates Chuuya into joining the Port Mafia.

I’ve touched on deception a few times so far, but I felt it was significant enough to deserve its own paragraph. It’s not uncommon for Dazai to leave out important details, or tell outright lies in order to get what he wants. He lied to most of the members of the Agency about his past for years in order to keep his place there, assuming that they would shun them had they known. His entire personality is mostly a facade, putting up the mask of a silly detective man to avoid being taken too seriously.

He’s prone to apathy, and doesn’t really ever show any characters empathy throughout the series. When Atsushi is having a panic attack, Dazai’s instinct is to slap him back to reality rather than cater to his emotional needs. When Kunikida is upset by the results of his and Dazai’s actions in Dazai’s Entrance Exam, Dazai simply tells him that reality won’t conform to his ideals. After Chuuya is betrayed by the Sheep, Dazai uses his vulnerability to recruit him into the Port Mafia. It’s rare to see him act sympathetic with characters. This does not mean he doesn’t show kindness to them, but he clearly has difficulties empathising with people going through crises.

Along with others, he’s rather uncaring towards himself. Most of the times we’ve seen him in dangerous situations, he’s continued to act carefree and unbothered. When he was captured by the Port Mafia he had no reservations about provoking Akutagawa even though he knew it would cause himself harm. He also has consistently proven that he doesn’t care about his own life. Via attempts and jokes alike, he’s prone to suicide in a way that makes it obvious he holds very little value to himself. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he has a low sense of self, or that he’s insecure. He’s got a very solid opinion of himself. He just doesn’t care whether he’s dead or alive.

While Dazai struggles with all of these, it doesn’t mean he is incapable of doing good. His relationship with Oda was clearly genuine, and he obviously cared for him a great deal. He’s also the only reason Atsushi is alive right now, and he’s taken great care to give Atsushi a decent life. He’s a sufficient mentor for him, and he’s done a lot of good for Yokohama with the Armed Detective Agency. He’s come clean about his past to his friends, and overall has improved his way of life. Dazai has grown from the Demon Prodigy of the Port Mafia into a respectable man of justice. He still has moments where his apathetic side will shine through, but he’s clearly healed and developed quite a bit since joining the ADA.

‘Okay cool. So… what about BPD? He could share some symptoms. You haven’t talked about that since the intro paragraphs. Wasn’t this about ASPD and BPD? You suck. Loser.’

I’m getting there! Control yourself. It’s taken 14 paragraphs to get to this point. God forbid I be thorough with my analysis. SMH. Anyways.

Now that we’ve talked significantly enough about Dazai having ASPD, let’s touch on why I don’t think he has BPD. This is a headcanon I’ve seen frequently enough that I’ve formed an opinion on it. Obviously. That’s why I’m writing this essay.

The thing is, BPD relies on emotional instability and a disorganised attachment and sense of self. I don’t see any of that in Dazai. He has a fairly concrete opinion of himself and his identity. His emotional state is consistent throughout the show, excluding a few specific scenarios, and while he seems reckless and impulsive, he’s not. All of his actions are always carefully planned out, even if it doesn’t seem so.

Dazai is well known for his carefree and jokester persona. When he’s not playfully dumping his work on Atsushi or Kunikida, he’s cracking jokes and poking fun at the members of the Detective Agency. It’s not often that we see the mask slip off. When it does, though, it’s almost always when he’s reminiscing over Oda. That, or actively plotting against a formidable opponent he takes seriously. These are pretty normal situations to not be joking around in. The guy is grieving his dead best friend. Not exactly a drastic mood swing. Fairly run of the mill. Outside of this, we don’t ever see him react severely and unjustifiedly. His emotions are always carefully balanced.

(Note, I am aware of the scene with Akutagawa during the Dark Ages. Have patience. I’ll get to that eventually.)

We also don’t see him struggle with abandonment/attachment issues. He has the ‘everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it’ mentality, but that doesn’t exactly prohibit him from forming bonds with the people around him. He’s fairly normal about everyone at the Armed Detective Agency. He obviously cares for Atsushi, and he doesn’t make any moves to push him or anyone else away—or become unhealthily attached, on the contrary—both of which are very common behaviours in people with BPD. He goes to their parties (I can’t exactly remember when, but I’m fairly certain he was there when Poe visited Ranpo during the ADA party, and on the yacht with the infamous ‘to the Stray Dogs’ scene), runs errands and completes chores with them (the Wan episode where he and Atsushi are cleaning lockers together), and makes a point to hang out with them outside of work (the fireworks festival we all know and love/hate).

He doesn’t struggle with his self image. It’s never implied that Dazai doesn’t know who he is or where he belongs. He doesn’t have any internal conflict about whether he’s Port Mafia or Armed Detective Agency; he’s actually quite firm on his stance. He rejects Mori’s offers and requests to return to the Mafia several times throughout the series. He’s secure in his sense of self. He has no issues admitting his strengths and flaws, and he knows who he is and what he wants.

The only time we’ve seen him become angry to the point of an extreme reaction is when Akutagawa doesn’t do as Dazai had wanted in the Dark Ages. He kills the hostages they had taken rather than prodding them for information. Dazai’s reaction, while definitely intense, was neither unprovoked nor unjustified in his point of view. Him shooting the gun at Akutagawa was both a punishment and a lesson. The pressure of a life or death situation was what provoked Akutagawa to finally grasp control over Rashomon in a way that would allow him to use Devoured Space. So while extreme, Dazai’s anger had reason to it.

I also would like to remind everyone that this scene was set during the time Dazai was in the Mafia. It’s understandable for the stakes and punishments to be intense. If a subordinate doesn’t learn a lesson quickly and efficiently, the consequences can range from a mild beating to the fall of an entire organisation. Dazai knew this as well, which is why he wasn’t going to tolerate impulsivity. Also it’s the Mafia. They’re like, known for guns and killing and shit.

Contrary to anger, mania is the state of intense highs, feeling like you’re on top of the world. People who experience mania often feel like they’re invincible, either physically or metaphorically. They may put themselves in harm’s way to prove that ‘nothing can hurt them,’ or risk all their money gambling because ‘they just can’t lose.’ They’re excitable, irrational, and impulsive. Dazai is none of these things. He puts himself in harm’s way to either attempt to destroy himself, or as a part of his plan to get things to play out the way he wants. Everything he does, while it may look impulsive, has a plan. The only thing I can think of within the series where he acts without thinking is in his entrance exam where he offers to drive the taxi for the thrill of the fact that he is actually a terrible fucking driver. If he gambles, he knows he’ll win. If he jumps, he hopes he’ll fall. His behaviour is always carefully thought out. Also he’s consistently depressed throughout the story, so. No room for that.

Now onto everyone's favourite topic, self destructive behaviour! It's pretty widely known and agreed upon that Dazai either does or has self-harmed before. Hence the bandages. He's also very loud and proud about his passion for suicide. This could count, it's definitely self destructive in the physical sense, but I don't believe it's because of BPD. I think the guy is just really fucking depressed. He just wants to die, it's not so much in an ‘I don't deserve good things or comfort’ way. I also want to touch on the more figurative methods of self destruction. He doesn't exactly go out of his way to sabotage himself in regards to his work, his relationships (he fucks with Chuuya, but he just generally enjoys riling him up), or anything like that. On the contrary, we see him actively putting effort into keeping those things stable. (Lying in order to keep his place at the ADA, being active in his social circle, working towards keeping the ADA and Yokohama in general safe.) So, not really self sabotage in a way that makes me think of BPD.

Overall, most of Dazai's struggles or traits fall under understanding empathy, morality, and manipulation. His actions throughout the series are not hard to connect to these patterns, and it doesn’t take much digging to find supporting evidence. All of his characterization leads to the conclusion of ASPD, rather than BPD. He isn't a very emotionally unregulated character, in my opinion. He’s level-headed, well managed, and secure in himself and his environment. The guy just doesn't quite know how to function as a human being with other human beings, but he's trying.

Also no you cannot change my mind. Anyways I've been writing for like 4 hours so goodbye.

[sativaonsaturn]

random sun observations

some of these are based on requests :)

libra sun

great conversationalists! they know how to read a room or even just the person they’re talking to and do a great job catching the vibe so to speak. given that, sometimes they can mirror the people they’re around too. because of this sometimes people may think libra likes them even if they don’t 😭 a lot of times the only way you’ll know how libra feels (especially september) is if they reach a boiling point or if you know them well enough.

they’re great at dressing themselves as well, i’ve never seen a libra who didn’t know how to carry themselves. even if a libra chooses to dress down, they still happen to look put together.

if you’re dating/ pursuing one, (ofc factor in their venus) they typically love love. so (if they really like you) they’re dedicated, love a storybook relationship and will absolutely provide you with that in return. also very diplomatic in any relationship, they want things to be balanced and fair - but keep in mind this depends on their own moral compass, not yours.

capricorn sun

disclaimer! i’ll try my best not to be biased 😭 but i’ve had the worst experiences with them; i have to be honest before i begin.

capricorns are literally the goat, so often they can be blinded by their “horns”. meaning that their pride can make them short sided, especially the men. this can be good sometimes because when a cap goes for something they get it. saturn is about learning from mistakes, discipline; a lot of capricorns go through some real shit before they’re even adults. that being said they are often harder than most and therefore sometimes have a difficult time maintaining interpersonal relationships - they’re often too focused on results and surviving for too long.

often very funny, dry humor. like other earth signs, they tend to just get it. the men tend to spend quite a bit unless developed. they also tend to buy things because they’re 5 star or the most expensive, not necessarily because of the quality. however, great providers and if you are relying on one to get shit done, get somewhere on time, to lead a team - cap is the one because of their tunnel vision and practicality.

aquarius sun

another sign who just gets it. aquarians are the people who laugh at the joke no one got, who catch the little nuances, who actually do like things before they’re cool. i’ve said previously they are one of the most intelligent signs because of how much they observe and how much they remember.

people tend to dub this sign as emotionless but similar to aquarius moon, i think people just misunderstand how they handle emotions as a whole. they need to intellectualize and understand their emotions on a practical level before addressing them. also they’re ruled by uranus, so the way they see the world is always going to be different or abstract. but if you lead with patience, they’re usually open to talking out their feelings/ thoughts - aquas just want to know that you want to understand, that you’re open minded.

very practical and sometimes worry too much. usually on time to every event/ job and great planners because they think of everything. i will note however, that they tend to be very forgetful or reckless until they’re developed. they are often the children who break their glasses a lot or lose their new sweater 😭

as they rule the 11th house (networking), they are wonderful, fun and considerate friends. they make jokes about literally everything (very unserious people 💀) and often give thoughtful gifts because of how observant they are.

leo sun

truly the life of the party, they really carry the sun wherever they go. if it seems like they always have energy it’s because they do, whether it’s natural or manufactured. i’ve found that they can’t be as high functioning if they stay in a funk too long. even if these people are insecure, they will create the confidence.

they often do care about how others perceive them, especially those close to them. this includes leos who are less of the golden retriever type and more of the lioness type. lioness leos are the ones who walk and talk w/ pride, command attention and respect, usually leaders. golden retriever leos are usually bubbly, friends w/ everyone, keeps things light and jovial. sometimes they tend to let things slide or don’t say what they mean because they’d like to maintain their image or aren’t actually as confident as they seem.

much like leo venus, they are passionate and intentional lovers. very thoughtful and compassionate friends too. you want a leo in your life if you want someone who will bring you warmth and a sense of belonging.

sativaonsaturn 🪐🍃

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

EXO's Sexual Energy Reading

Disclaimer: No facts, all alleged. This is my interpretation of the cards and energy I work with.

Suho

Well, this is interesting, so I get the vibe he could have sex dreams or just have sex in the metaphysical, wild, but that is what this one card gives me. There are some illusions, he may daydream about sexual encounters. I don't get the vibe he has sex in the physical 3d too much. He more so fantasizes about it.

I got the Destroyer and Death card, which to me indicates wanting to end things and break things apart or have some sort of transformation and renew himself somehow. It is like he wants to end old cycles and start new. So, whatever sexual encounters he had in the past. He is ready to move past them, so he is giving me he isn't trying to sleep with anyone right now, not in a physical sense.

Xiumin

He gave me two contrasting energies here. Temperance is about finding balance and compromising. So, this would give me sex with him is calm and peaceful. He is patient and chill, and he would blend well with his partner. But then I got the Warrior card in shadow, which is forceful and aggressive energy, so he can be soft and gentle, but can be rough and intense as well, so it seems he has a blend of both, which yeah, the temperance shows a balance of both, so he has two sides of him when it comes to sex. I see him leaning towards being the DOM though.

Now, he seems like someone who is experimental and likes to try new things, so this energy gives off he would be into exploring foreigners, or people of different cultures, as that is something new and exciting for him. I see him wanting to learn new tricks and new ways of doing things. I see him finding excitement of exploring the sexual side of himself and his partner. He also has an open-minded and can be liberating when it comes to sex. I can see him as someone who may have flings more often.

Baekhyun

Not sure how I feel about 6 of Pentacles being here, because that can be he can be someone who may sleep with others for profit or for something in return. I can also see him as someone giving when it comes to sex. He seems to like things to go both ways and they both please another. I see him sleeping with people for an exchange for something, yup seeing it here. I see him as someone who can be pretty crude, mean and harsh with his sex talk. He isn't the sweetest person when it comes to language when it comes to sex, so you got to be able to handle that. The first things I thought with this card was, he is a naughty boy lol

I think with sex things seem to run smoothly. To him there isn't much effort or hassle, and he may be able to get laid whenever he feels like it. It is like it comes with ease. He can be a natural when it comes to sexual encounters and maybe the process goes smooth and peacefully. So yeah, sex isn't really a complicated process for him. It seems it is an enjoyable process and maybe something to relieve stress for him.

Chen

Oh, he has some strong sexual energy. He seems to really like sex and enjoys getting physical with someone. It could be just his wife, but from I pick up on. He may sleep with others, as I think I mentioned he could enjoy sex a bit too much. I can see a sex addiction with him. If he finds someone sexually attractive. He may go after them. I think he has a tough time controlling his desires and urges and he could seek others, because he may not get it enough at home, because with this energy, not sure someone will want it that often. But who knows.

His energy is pretty instinctual and animalistic, so it is hard for him to fight his urges. Sexually he isn't overall passionate. He seems a bit practical and grounded as well. It is hard for me to understand what this Earth energy means for him. The keyword persistence means something to me, as he is consistent when it comes to engaging in sex is all I can get from that. But also, it grounds him somehow or keeps him stable in whatever capacity that may mean.

Chanyeol

To me it seems he wants to cut sexual activity out of his life. He may be asked to do some sexual things, but he seems he doesn't want any part of it. He seems detached and aloof from this energy. It seems it causes him frustration and anger. It seems he wants to end some things as well.

I see him cutting of or destroying any opportunity for sex. It seems like there is a push and pull when it comes to sex for him. Like it doesn't come easy for him. I don't see him being that open or sexually explorative or really engages in it all that much. I don't see sex being a crazy bad experience, like there is potential for good things to come from it, but he tends to avoid it.

Kai

I see him as someone who doesn't communicate a lot in bed, or doesn't like to say or share things when it comes to his sexual energy. I don't see him communicating with his partner or talking much during the act. I see truths being revealed or things making sense for him when it comes to sex. I think he prefers to experience the act of sex to learn more about the process and gain a better awareness of what to do, rather than learning about from others say or reading on it.

He is about just doing it, and not much discussing the topic, so I doubt he would communicate his desires and needs and may not want to know his partners either. He would rather learn by doing the physical act. It is like he learns through experience. I see him doing his best to please his partner, pampering them and tending to their needs as much as he can. He can be a bit of a perfectionist and may want things to operate in a certain manner, so he isn't giving me someone who is carefree and explorative. He has certain habits and rituals he prefers to do. So, if something works for him he will continue doing that, but probably wouldn't explore more and be experimental.

Sehun

Oh, this man is very controlling and stubborn. It is like he does things his way or no way at all. He can also lose control as well, not sure what that means. He seems to have strong boundaries. Strong limits. I see him having habits he can't break. It is hard for him to change the way he does things.

He is someone who likes the pleasure and experience of sex. He may enjoy the touching and kissing. And enjoys exploring the sensual side of the sexual experience. I feel he can be selfish in bed and focus on what pleases him. He can be boring, consistent, lacks playfulness and fun. He is someone who likes to take his time and can have good self-control when it comes to engaging in sex. But yeah, not a fun lay from what I see here, and he goes by his rules and what he wants.

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 5)

Hi everyone! I am back from brink of death to bring you yet another platter of fic recs. Thank you all so much for you patience and for the continued love you all have shown these posts. I truly appreciate you all.

Also, just in case this has been bothering anyone: you will definitely see more author-diversity and newer fics as I work my way though my bookmarks. I'm working chronologically through my Sterek bookmarks from the oldest to the newest, so that means we're all currently reliving the early Sterek scene together while also getting to experience the moments where I would discover an author whose writing-style I particularly liked and then binged their entire body of work all at once before going back to the main tag's offerings (hence the large number of works by specific authors going on right now). Not sure if that bothered anyone, particularly the point about there being multiple fics from the same authors--people care about odd things sometimes, but I've seen discourse around this specific thing and would like to head it off at the pass--but I thought I'd make a statement about it because I was noticing it and was like "I wonder if this is bothering people...lemme speak on it". And now here we are!

Okay, enough yappin' from me. Let's do this!

List and links to previous/next part(s) below the cut.

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DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

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i'm just the same as i was (now don't you understand?) by paradis (T | 1/1 | 2,738)

"You're a virgin," Jackson says. "Everyone says you're a virgin." "Everyone but me," Stiles points out. More silence. Stiles thinks he can hear crickets chirping. "I'm kinda cold," he complains. "Well when were you not a virgin anymore?" Isaac asks, perplexed.

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by nightlights the children pray by hoars (T | 1/1 | 2,745)

Scott leaves for ten years and comes back.

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Nothing is as Bad as it Seems by paradis (T | 1/1 | 3,636)

“I know, it’s a shock,” he says. “But there’s more. Your friends– they’re werewolves. And that’s dangerous, Stiles. But I can keep them away!”

“I know they’re werewolves, you idiot!” Stiles shouts

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Stiles Stilinski's Knitting School for the Were, Other-Worldly and Supernaturally-Inclined by TypewriterLove (G | 1/1 | 3,789)

He'd trawled through online pattern directories, before finding something called Ravelry. Drumming his fingers against the desk, he'd hit the "register now!" button.

ScarletNerded's first action on their new account is to look up patterns with "wolf" keywords.

(In which Stiles ends up teaching the entire pack how to knit- which results in werewolves making socks. Alternatively named "Beacon Hills Stitch & Bitch")

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different definitions of good by preromantics (G | 1/1 | 4,259)

The one where Stiles has a fishy sort of excuse for not getting in a boat on the ocean. "Maybe I'm not really into the idea of getting caught by the coast guard on a stolen boat," Stiles says. Which, while not the reason Stiles definitely needs to stay behind, is also a pretty valid reason.

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No Destination by scottmcniceass (T | 1/1 | 5,043)

It's not like they're going anywhere in particular. They're just driving, getting away for a bit. Escaping everything. Together.

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Well Tempered by jsea (T | 1/1 | 5,290)

His fingers start moving almost of their own accord, and it feels easier suddenly. His fingers feel less clumsy, and the music that flows forth isn’t quite so somber anymore. It’s not the happy airy sound he wants so desperately to give to Stiles, but this feels right in its own way. More him. More them.

Or, the fic where Derek used to play piano, and he does again. But only for Stiles.

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we are tangled by drunktuesdays (T | 1/1 | 5,716)

"Derek was at your house?" "For like ten seconds," Stiles said. "I'd say it was weird, but is anything about Derek ever not weird?"

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can't be hateful, gotta be grateful by HalfFizzbin (T | 1/1 | 6,260)

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma."

(Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

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Flint and Tinder by rufflefeather (T | 1/1 | 6,781)

"Hi," a voice comes through and Derek really wishes it’d take more than that to know who it is.

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The Alpha to My Alpha by CupcakeGirlA (T | 1/1 | 10,717)

“Derek will kill you. He’ll tear you limb from limb!” Stiles says, scrambling away from him. The Alpha ambles closer.

“No, I don’t think he will,” the Alpha says. “I mean aside from killing a couple of hikers in his territory and doing him this favor, I haven’t really done anything to Hale. Once I’m gone he’ll probably be happy with the gift I’ve left for him.”

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Derelictions of Duty by Regann (T | 1/1 | 10,846)

No one wants to be the bearer of bad news to someone as nice as Sheriff Stilinski -- especially when he's your boss. That's why none of his employees want to be the first one to tell him about the scandalous goings-on between his only son and the former murder suspect Derek Hale. For all of their sakes, hopefully the Sheriff will find out all on his own...

(Or, 5 times a Beacon County Sheriff's Office employee witnesses the unique relationship between Stiles and Derek but neglects to tell the Sheriff and 1 time he witnesses it for himself.)

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Going, Going, Gone by paradis (M | 3/3 | 12,296)

The Sheriff comes up to him after the services. "I don't believe he's dead," he tells Derek.

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Promises aren't Meant to be Broken by paradis (T | 1/1 | 12,463)

“Thanks for saving me,” Stiles blurts out, staring up at Laura, wide eyed.

Laura grins. “I like you,” she says, “we’ll be friends.”

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powerful in-scent-ive by kellifer_fic (T | 1/1 | 14,533)

Stiles holds up a hand, because he really can't listen to the bites-are-all-right speech that Derek has given Scott dozens of times. "Dude, don't."

"Look-" Derek tries again, oddly persistent.

"Derek, man, my worst nightmare is not me getting bitten, it's him. It's always been him."

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Strangeness and Charm series by hoars (4 works | NR-M | 14,744)

The Gypsy AU

1. for the way this animal love, lurches monstrous up my chest (M | 1/1 | 2,481) “Strangeness follows the Romani, what is a little more?” Elder Travj asked. That was the night Derek’s pack began to follow the caravan; a night marked by fire and loss. 2. wanting to make you happy and warm and unafraid and free (M | 1/1 | 4,022) "Laura called you a thief." Derek breathes into his neck. "And what did the she-wolf call you?" Stiles asks. "She called me a gypsy." And Derek does not sound wronged. He sounds insecure and of longing. "Then perhaps she finally speaks truths." Stiles says. "I am a thief and you like me, a Roma." 3. these places will have to substitute (NR | 1/1 | 2,229) (Interlude) “The chovihano is harmless to Derek.” Mother says. “I assure you, Miss Laura, Stiles would not hurt Derek.” The shaman says. “Stiles cares greatly for your brother.” But still. Something in her is screaming, howling and growling. 4. for the grunts and the screams we extract from each other (NR | 1/1 | 6,012) It doesn't make sense for the lunatic to be eating people but biting others. All evidence but for the mass grave indicated the lunatic had been recruiting, building a pack, not finding a meat source. Werewolves, even lunatics, weren't prone to cannibalism. “It's a true sign of madness.” Derek says, as if repeating something he’s heard a dozen times since he was a child. "The mark of the beast."

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You Make Me See How Much I Have by paradis (T | 1/1 | 16,943)

“You’re lucky you got here now,” he says, “Ten minutes – maybe you could get your –” there’s a crash before he can say get your daughter, and Stiles resists the urge to either slap his hand against his face, or slap Derek, because no one ever understands how difficult it is to have a kid in the store by themselves unless they’re also parents.

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Past Imperfect, Future Conditional series by elisera (3 works | T-E | 17,311)

1. Necessitate by (E | 1/1 | 3,888) Derek’s juggling the kids -- Noah hanging off his back, Ella standing on his foot while holding onto his jeans with a death grip and both of them still talking up a storm about their day at kindergarten -- and two bags of groceries in his arms that evening when the sight of Stiles standing in the backyard makes him weak in the knees. Stiles is in profile, ranting on his phone to Scott about the contract negotiations for the new construction on the Peterson property, and there’s a flush on his face, his ears pink and his mouth red from where he keeps biting it but the worst thing, the absolute worst thing is the round curve of his stomach, straining against the tank top he liberated earlier in the week from Derek when the heat wave hit and none of his own fit him anymore. It’s going to be stretched to hell by the time the kid is born but right now Derek can’t find it in himself to care. 2. The Weapon You Choose (E | 1/1 | 12,029) When Noah trudges down the backstairs that morning, he finds Dad sitting on a step halfway down and chewing on his knuckles, watching Papa making coffee like it’s a special on the discovery channel and not an almost daily ritual. Anyway, Noah needs the car on Friday; he might as well make nice so he sits down next to Dad, jostling his shoulder with his own in greeting. Dad raises an eyebrow, mirth in his eyes and his mouth curving around the knuckle stuck in it. Papa grunts just then, still trying and failing to open the tin with the ground coffee in it and Dad head snaps around, once again riveted. Noah rolls his eyes hard but he guesses people who’ve been together since the dawn of time need to get their fun wherever they can find it. 3. Pancake Wolves (T | 1/1 | 1,394) Stiles is on his third cup of coffee when Derek tromps down the stairs. He looks at him over his shoulder, taking in his barely open eyes and the pillow creases on his face, unable to keep from smiling at him. Derek yawns widely and just keeps going until he can wrap his arms tightly around Stiles’ waist and lean against his back, letting Stiles take his weight.

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Jurisdiction series by elisera (3 works | T-E | 19,897)

1. Jurisdiction (M | 1/1 | 7,025) John is a pretty level-headed guy. He wasn’t always, back during his own Sturm und Drang period, but he married a firecracker of a woman and got a kid with an affinity for trouble like he got payed for ending up in it, so someone had to level out or they would’ve ended up living in a treehouse or Lapland doing god knows what. Anyway, getting a hold of his temper is one of John’s better life achievements. It makes him a good sheriff and it kept him from blowing his lid too badly those last two years when Stiles started acting out in a way that John had never seen before. But the temper is still there. He’s reminded of it when he comes home on a random Saturday in March after spilling his milkshake all over his uniform shirt only to notice he didn’t have a spare in the station and finds Stiles bend over the kitchen sink with hunched shoulders. 2. Life With Werewolves: A Beginner's Class (T | 1/1 | 2,836) Five times Sheriff Stilinski was really through with werewolves and one time he wasn’t. 3. Life With Humans: The Stilinski Edition (E | 1/1 | 10,036) “You still smell weird,” Derek says, pressing his nose against Stiles’ armpit, trying to figure out what about Stiles’ scent still bothers him so much. Stiles slaps his head and Derek nips the soft skin of his inner bicep in retaliation. “I,” Stiles says, still panting and shivering from his orgasm, “do not smell weird, you weirdo. Maybe you should take your nose in for a checkup, it’s clearly out of whack.”

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red series by hoars (3 works | NR-E | 32,156)

1. Festival of Red (E | 1/1 | 11,592) “See? I need my daisy crown or I won’t get Chased.” Stiles frowned. “And then I’ll have to do it again next year. I really don’t want to do it twice.” The good and the bad of getting Caught this year included not having to do it again and the bad was he’d have a werewolf mate for the rest of his life. Stiles is seventeen. He has a lot of life to live. Unless his wolfy mate has no sense of humor or a temper. Those with no sense of humor and tempers tended to hate Stiles the most and wouldn’t that suck? Being tied to someone for the rest of his life who hates him. That actually sounds like his type of luck. “You’ll be fine.” Allison beams because she’s a sweet person and can obviously read Stiles like a picture book aimed at toddlers. 2. Navigating our Marriage (NR | 1/1 | 8,316) The squeal to the bride-hunting fic that involves moving, emancipation, a family feud, a baby shower, a list of reasons and a magic cat lady. 3. Families: Eternally Messy (NR | 1/1 | 12,248) The third installment to the bride hunting fic that now involves pregnancy then babies, adult looking responsibilities, epic fails and proof no one picks their family.

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[cowardlypenis]

so i completely changed my mind on curly mouthwashing! while obligatory disclaimer he's not as bad as jimmy he absolutely fucked up Big Time

mouthwashing the game is so interesting to me for how narratively dense it is and how many lenses through which it can be analysed... and i think curly's a really interesting example of a pretty nice dude who (seemingly uncharacteristically) is incapable of calling his friend out on shitty or abusive behaviour. i've not seen many characters like him before!!

before i was of the opinion that due to both the abusive company and ship conditions that facilitate highly abusive crew behaviour that realistically curly couldn't have done much to jimmy without risking him crashing the ship regardless - then i thought about it some more and realised that's a pretty backwards way to look at it! like, jimmy had the potential to crash the ship so curly can't criticise him at all in case he does? he crashes it anyway!

what really changed my mind was looking at the scene where daisuke gets stuck in the foam and the entire segment just prior to jimmy crashing the ship. in the utility room, curly is totally capable of telling swansea off for allowing the foam accident to nearly damage a cryo pod and is respected when he does so. so it's not as if curly as a person is such a people pleaser that he can't put his foot down around people he considers friends! and the "dead pixel" analogy doesn't apply here - curly doesn't just see the bigger picture that the pod Wasn't damaged, and makes sure to take responsibility and give swansea a warning.

then later 0 days prior to the crash, we see totally different behaviour from curly. something else that really changed my perspective was the line from anya saying "i told you." when curly asks who the father is, then curly immediately understanding. it demonstrates that despite curly being told about the assault, he seemed to have filed it away and dismissed it as something out of character for jimmy, similar to how friends of rapists excuse or dismiss their behaviour. curly also continues to insist that he'll just talk to jimmy and that he's known him a long time, which was likely the type of reaction that lead anya to lose faith in him and be proactive in hiding the gun in the first place. indeed, curly is exceptionally weak-willed when talking to jimmy, and effectively lets him lead the conversation to his own conclusions. initially i thought this discrepancy between curly's treatment of swansea and jimmy was odd, but i think it acts to emphasise that men considering others their friends Before their colleagues or employees will excuse or cover for very poor behaviour out of a sense of loyalty. this is probably also exacerbated by jimmy's status as co-pilot, essentially elevating him and curly to a status above the other crewmates and more equal to each other.

while curly does seem to be in somewhat of a panic in his conversation with jimmy, this really doesn't justify his outright agreement that a tragic accident leaving their reputations intact would be preferable to facing the music upon their return. another possible explanation for this behaviour is that with the foam situation, if a cryo pod Was damaged it would unambiguously be swansea's fault and a morally simple issue to handle as captain. however, anya's assault (and the pregnancy as undeniable proof) reflects badly on curly personally for both judging jimmy's character as safe to bring on board and failing to safeguard his crew and allowing an incident like this to happen. it provides an interesting look into how an otherwise well-regarded and kind person's behaviour will completely change as long as there are personal stakes for them. i see some posts talking about how curly and jimmy are opposites, and while i agree they are absolutely foils of each other, i do believe they share this character trait of ultimately being concerned for themselves first when the chips are down.

curly absolutely acted as jimmy's enabler throughout his time on the ship, not by actively enabling his abusive behaviour but rather through passively allowing it while fully aware he was the only crew member in a position to discipline him. curly's pride in his judgement of jimmy and sense of self-concern at the most critical moment overriding his responsibility to look after the crew were his two big mistakes that allowed jimmy to crash the ship. by no means was curly an irredeemable villain, but as captain, the person who brought jimmy onboard And jimmy's friend, he absolutely shares the responsibility for everyone's deaths and uncomfortably parallels "friends of rapists" in real life who excuse their friends' assaults but come across as nice guys otherwise. this ties into one of the game's larger themes of abuse and the ways in which it can be perpetuated and fester in non-ideal circumstances, which goes beyond the scope of this post.