#anon advice

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I keep getting called a Karen by a few women at my work and I don’t know what to do, as I am a white woman and the women bullying me are in fact black women, and I’ve not done anything other than just started my new job there and all I can think is that they didn’t like me asking questions about what it’s like there etc. and I didn’t say or do anything that can be considered or said to be racist? One of them said as we were finishing that nobody would side with a white woman over them and they’d spread my name online and end me. I’m seriously depressed about this whole situation as my new job was a move and promotion that I wanted for a long time and now with these women targeting me I don’t know what to do. As who will believe me as it doesn’t seem like these sort of women bullying me are ever going to be stopped doing what they’re doing to innocent women like me that have seriously not done anything wrong as even though I’m a left wing progressive woman I don’t feel that non-minorities are listened to by these sort of faux claims of racism, sexism and bullying /abuse etc.

First, if you haven't already, you need to loop your boss and HR in immediately. Right now. If your boss or HR admin is one of these ladies, go above her. Stick just to the facts about what happened when you report what's happening. If you already have reported it, follow up. Say "The issues I reported to you on XX date are still happening and it's still causing (or now causing) X, Y, Z impact to A, B, C deliverables/results, and they are also now making B and C threats of retaliation. What suggestions do you have to address this?"

Second, lock your social media down tight. Restrict your visibility to friends only. Exclude your accounts/profiles from searches.

Third, document. Document, document, document. Every interaction you have with these ladies. Everything you've said, everything they've said, as verbatim as possible as you can remember. Include dates, times, locations, and witnesses/bystanders. If there's any harassment over messages (emails, texts, Slack, etc.) include screenshots in your write-ups. Do it immediately after every interaction you have with each one of them, whether individually or in groups. Also document every discussion you've had with your boss(es) and/or HR about these ladies/these situations too.

After writing it up, immediately email it to yourself - your work email and your personal email. If you have your own printer, print them out too and keep paper files in a locked drawer the ladies don't have access to or at your home.

This documentation is important because it creates a paper trail. If the ladies escalate, you have documentation proving your role (or lack thereof). If the company fails to protect you, you have documentation describing and showing what they didn't do.

I'm just going to be direct here. We live in a time where white people - white women especially - have to be very careful about what we say and do. It doesn't matter what our allyship is or our politics or what we think is right or how much credibility someone does or doesn't have. So when you make these reports, when you do this documentation, leave all of that out of it. Stick only to the facts, which is "I was in Conference Room 1 with Jane, Lisa, Sue, and Joe on Tuesday, April 2, 2024, for a discussion about X that took place between 1:30pm - 2:15pm. {{Discussion summary}} At approximately 2:15pm when the meeting ended, I said A. Lisa said B, then Joe said C. Our interaction ended at approximately 2:20pm when I returned to my office alone." Leave the feelings out, leave the justification out, leave your perspective out, leave your allyship and your politics out. Stick only to the facts.

If I had to guess about what's happening here, it's probably that one of those ladies applied for your job, didn't get the position, and now she's taking it out on you and enlisted her friends to help.

And if you'd like more help, take a look at Ask A Manager. She's an HR manager who has a ton of experience in managing people and the blog is an amazing resource for any/all kinds of career advice. Here are a bunch of here pages about dealing with bullies and toxic colleagues that you might find helpful as well.

[violent138]

I write fic summaries two ways. Either a section of the fic that grabs you but also gets along the general premise. Or I go with a plot without the main twist, then the twist. Like a lead up.

So like if it's like a Wings AU.

"Hey, DumbWing, would you move it!? Your blocking half of Crime Alley with those things!" Jason barked, shoving him aside.

"Well, you try spontaneous growing wings, and then tell me how easy it is to keep them in check!"

Or for the lead up

Dick always loved flying through the air, on the trapeze or a grapple. Sure, he could be a bit superfluous with the flips and all, but he loved it!

Out of all the spells Dick could have been hit with, he's not so sure how bad this one could be. After all, now his hero namesake makes sense! If only these wings were meant for more urban life.

Hey that's really good advice (and a hilarious set of dialogue if you winged it ;)). Now to find this leading dialogue/draft the lead up...

And dude, now I'm going to be looking for Wings AUs (first I've heard of them, but that would be so cool to see the Batfam figure out). Thank you!

[missathlete31]

While instagram followers don't mean anything for his career, I want to reassure everyone that people in Hollywood won't give a single shit about this whole "scandal". Glen handled it gracefully, and it wasn't scandalous enough for producers to care. Seriously, don't worry about it.

I’m taking this as law anon because I need to focus on the good news of having more Glen on our screens!!!! Please let this whole nonsense fade away and Glen be happy again!

[angelsinluv]

angel ilysm!! i get that people are desperate and in hard situations but yall, get a backbone PAH-LEASEEEE

i was also desperate at one point and tried getting into the void every night for over a month even then no matter how desperate i was i never begged for anyones help because thats just embarrassing, how can you claim to be god and beg someone else for something but then i gave up on the void because i owe it to myself to stop being pathetic and i actually starting living in the end and my life has been so much better. imaging is so fun and just fulfilling myself through the day is so much easier than hating myself for most of the time and then when going to sleep i would exhaust myself for the void

anons act like blogs refusing to manifest for them is a personal attack when in reality they are spending time to make posts and answer questions FOR FREE istg if you pay someone to manifest for you, you will never be fulfilled bc sure you might get your desires buttt you will always feel powerless because you are placing the power on everything and everyone but yourself when neville literally says you only need self, you only need to change self, everyone is a reflection of self so manifest for yourself by yourself

im sorry if this comes off as rude or invalidating anyones situations (which i have no intention of doing, but saying it in a calm way clearly havnt gotten people anywhere) but im only saying this so desperate people (who i was once like) can live happily and finally understand their worth

now go manifest your desires lovlie--

-oh wait...

you already have them calm down there is nothing else left to do. read a book, watch a movie hang out with some people, enjoy yourself cuz you are free.

ILYM! ur amazing for this and literally i had that void obsession too it was NOT fun 😭 and i love the self emphasis! congrats on growing from that phase and falling in love with imagination!

[scarletlizzard]

Coming here to rant because i love you

My ex and i talked a little montttthhhs after our breakup. To me, she was everything and it seemed to be the same for her but she stopped loving me slowly and eventually left me, then came back and left me again. She admited not really caring about my feelings for a while AND OKAY that was hard for me. It was hard to get over her and feel likable again. But as i said, we talked after few months not as friends but just.. Exs i guess

Anyway, she told me about her guy ex and her girl crush and it felt devastating because it was like.. 8 months ? And she got over me SO FAST fell for two people and i was there, still dealing with the fact that i wouldnt be with her anymore 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️

I felt so sad all over again, and embarrassed. I didnt really fully answer those texts and she hasnt tried to talk to me again

It feels like she just came back to say "look, i got over you so easily" and left again

I dont love her anymore, i feel sad tho. She was my first girlfriend it was very serious, our relationship lasted 2 years

Thanks for being cool with me to rant anon!! I probably give terrible advice but I'm sure someone will post back with great words lol. I'll give you this

How they did you was totally wrong. It's not okay to just drop people whenever you want just because you can. The most important thing in a relationship is to be honest and open, on both ends. There's no excuse for how they treated you. I'm truly sorry to hear that! And then to come back and brag is really shitty.

Another thing, people love at different paces. It's hard but it's true. Sometimes people fall fast and hard, others need time and patience. Both still have to have the human decency to be nice. It's not hard!

You deserve the world, anon! A first love is very powerful, but that's all it is. A first love. There will be a second, maybe a third, and so on. There are sooo many people on this planet all over. Someone out there is going to treat you right and make you feel like you're important, you matter, and you're loved.

Anyone else who treats you any type of way is not the one for you.

Feel free to reach out with anything. You're a beautiful human! I hope you have an amazing night 💕💕💕

[honeypleasejustkillme]

What do you do in a situation where your fp is the opposite of me and Is detached while I’m emotional. They told me they loved me and I was their best friend but only while drunk. When sober he’s so cold…I just want him to love me like I love him

well, usually alcohol and other substances can usually bring out the emotional/sentimental side of people.. so he might just be closed off but still have emotions. over time if you’re still getting closer you’ll probably reach that side of him..

[hybrid-confessions]

um, so. I think I might technically count as a hybrid because of my chosenhood? I haven't gotten any drastic physical changes besides fangs and increased strength (so far), but I do get a lot of both my patrons' instincts and urges. zoomies, preening, hunting, building a nest... it's honestly kind of annoying at times. if I refuse to fulfill these instincts, it's like it leaves me with this unbearable itch.

I think it's affected my personality, too. I've been... I dunno, quicker to anger, and I resort to violence more quickly? I'm not really sure what to do about it at this point. I try my best to keep it in check, but it's hard.

I feel a lot of the same, so I can certainly identify with the struggle. Healthy outlets are key. Look into hunting toys used for feline Pokémon—they come in a lot of sizes. They’re often quite helpful.

If not, catch-and-release hunting is an outlet. Can’t tell you how many Patrat I’ve grabbed and released just to not go insane. At this point it’s like a game for them, too. I feel the pain, though. Supportive people and daily management of your tendencies can help a lot, but it won’t be everything. Time and communication does a lot too.

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Update to the last ask…….

My dad is now acting like nothing happened and my mom Claims it was the alcohol talking but to me, it doesn't matter. what happened the night still hurt me he still said those hurtful words and now I'm not acting like I used to and I only see a stronger. I thought parents were supposed to love you and protect you but it's them the ones that make the biggest damage. Now I don't talk to my dad like I used to I burly look him in the eye and I try to not spend too much time around him so he won't call me a burden again. Now that I look back I kind of raised myself I did everything on my own I never asked for help with homework when I was at school and before I started to work I burly asked him for anything so for him to say all that really hurts. And I feel broken and unloved. I don't know what's like to be loved or to be told that you are important all I get is the end of the stick calling me extra or whatever but sometimes I wish I could disappear and maybe everyone would be happier I only bring stress and annoyance to people.

The advice you gave me really helped thank you so much ❤️

Oh bub... Thank you for the update and pls feel free to update me whenever!

You don't deserve that- you're owed more than a proper apology. And him brushing it off like it didn't happen... And the alcohol excuse is lame. And you're right- it doesn't matter. What they said to you and what transpired was wrong- and cruel. I see why you see him as a stranger. I've seen my dad as one too a lot of my life. That's exactly what parents are supposed to do. They are supposed to love unconditionally, take care of you, and protect you even well after you are 18... It sucks that yours don't want to do so. Their job once they have kids never ends- they're supposed to be there for you- not throw you to the wolves. They're supposed to be someone safe to return to. I'm so sorry you didn't get the parents you deserved. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been.

I want you to know that hwvr you feel like being around your dad is the right choice. You do not have to talk to him or engage or do anything that would make you feel unsafe. I want you to know that you are not burden. He fucking knew what he signed up for when he had you. And now he's not upholding his bargain. You're not a burden. You are anything but that, okay? I promise you that.

Sadly, the only way we can connect dots is when we look back. And I'm sorry these are the dots you have to connect. I was the same way- I raised myself too. And I'm sorry you had to have that experience too. A kid shouldn't have to... And I didn't ask for help on homework and until I got a job- I learned not to ask for anything either. I know it sucks when you hear someone say 'I understand how you feel' but I genuinely do. That part of my life is greatly the same... Anyways- I hope you use your money to buy yourself things that make you happy even if they're small. I hope you know you were never a burden. He was wrong to say that (along with everything else he's said). What he said was uncalled for and hurtful.

All you feel is valid, okay? You have every right to feel that. But I hope you know that there are going to be people who will love every piece of you. And that your parents aren't the end all be all to that safety/happiness/love. They are just a starting point (at least for us)- and you're going to find better and better people I promise you that. You don't know it right now. But you will. I know so- why? Because I thought the same. And now while I am still stuck here. I've found people who love and care for me. A concept I thought was implausible... I promise you'll find genuine people. (it may take a bit too- but just know not everyone can be what you need- you may need 10-20 friends just to fill even the smallest of gaps). But for now, I want you to know that I'm your friend.

And bubba- I know you want to think you are a form of stress and annoyance to people. But you're not. If your dad or mom said that or made you think that. I want you to know that they were completely wrong. Money is a source of stress. Taxes and work are forms of stress. Loving someone and receiving love- isn't supposed to be stressful. You are not supposed to feel like you are an annoyance to people. You aren't. Someday you'll get to move out "disappear" and I promise you that. You just have to work towards that. And it seems like it'll take "forever" but you'll get there.

A little advice for today:

It might be hard but if it's possible- I want you to try to make friends in real life. It'll sound silly until I explain. If you hang out with enough friends and are at work the other times outside of sleeping. Doesn't matter if you come to huffy puffy asking you where you've been all day. It'll keep you out of the house. And it'll keep you safe and it'll help you stay sane. I won't lie it is hard to make and maintain friendships. And only do what will be non-exhaustive for you. It might be hard- but you may have to set into boundaries (which may be difficult to do at first too). But I want you to know these friends and acitivies you do with them- will keep you out of that house. And I want you to know that you never have to tell your friends what it's like at home. Okay? If that doesn't make you feel safe- you can just gloss over what your parents are like/do. Say your dad is like mine and is into cars- that's what you tell them about him. You don't have to go further. You can protect yourself and gloss over things until you feel comfortable, okay?

This "glossing over" bit may sound awful- like you are protecting your abusers. I want you to know that- it's not protecting them. It's keeping you from falling apart when you talk about it. Because these wounds are so fresh. And esp because you're just starting to uncover these wounds... So, until you are ready to talk about it with others- you don't have to. But again- I will reiterate the point that you are my friend, and you can come to me. Okay? I'll be here every step of the way.

Feel free to reach out whenever- even if it's for the smallest thing, okay?

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing References: Character Development

50 Questions ⚜ Backstory ⚜ Character-driven Story

Basics: How to Write a Character ⚜ A Story-Worthy Hero

Basics: Character-Building ⚜ Character Creation

Types of Characters: Key Characters ⚜ Literary Characters ⚜ Flat & Round Characters ⚜ Morally Grey ⚜ Narrators ⚜ Allegorical Characters ⚜ Archetypes ⚜ Stereotypical Characters

Worksheets: Backstory ⚜ Character ⚜ Kill your Characters ⚜ Antagonist; Villain; Fighting ⚜ Change; Adding Action; Conflict ⚜ Character Sketch & Bible ⚜ Protagonist & Antagonist ⚜ Name; Quirks; Flaws; Motivation ⚜ "Interviewing" your Characters ⚜ "Well-Rounded" Character

Personality Traits

5 Personality Traits (OCEAN) ⚜ 16 Personality Traits (16PF)

600+ Personality Traits ⚜ 170 Quirks

East vs. West Personalities ⚜ Trait Theories

Tips/Editing

Character Issues ⚜ Character Tropes for Inspiration

"Strong" Characters ⚜ Unlikable to Likable

Tips from Rick Riordan

Writing Notes

Binge ED ⚜ Hate ⚜ Love ⚜ Identifying Character Descriptions

Childhood Bilingualism ⚜ Children's Dialogue ⚜ On Children

Culture ⚜ Culture: Two Views ⚜ Culture Shock

Dangerousness ⚜ Flaws ⚜ Fantasy Creatures

Emotional Intelligence ⚜ Genius (Giftedness)

Emotions (1) (2) ⚜ Anger ⚜ Fear ⚜ Happiness ⚜ Sadness

Emotional Universals ⚜ External & Internal Journey

Goals & Motivations ⚜ Grammar Development ⚜ Habits

Facial Expressions ⚜ Jargon ⚜ Swearing & Taboo Expressions

Happy/Excited Body Language ⚜ Laughter & Humor

Health ⚜ Frameworks of Health ⚜ Memory

Mutism ⚜ Shyness ⚜ Parenting Styles ⚜ Generations

Psychological Reactions to Unfair Behavior

Rhetoric ⚜ The Rhetorical Triangle ⚜ Logical Fallacies

Thinking ⚜ Thinking Styles ⚜ Thought Distortions

Uncommon Words: Body ⚜ Emotions

Villains ⚜ Voice & Accent

More References: Plot ⚜ World-building ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Re: anon being bullied at work. I know that it’s illegal, but i’d add recording these encounters on top of rumour’s excellent advice. If you have your phone with you, just hit the record button every time you are with these bullies. It’ll help you remember what you need for the documentations. And if they cross over into illegality, you might be able to capture it. It’s a hard situation that you are in, and i feel for you, but please don’t let them win. I say that as a black woman who sees all this BS and feel sorry for my white friends being subjected to this BS. Please know that there are black people like me. Not all of us subscribe to this nonsense. It demeans us. It demeans everyone. 

*************

Yes, recording is a great option but please be careful about it. Definitely learn what your state’s consent law is (e.g. are you in a two-party state or are you in a one-party state) to protect yourself as well.

And really, don’t forget about HR. Yes, HR/Human Resources is there to protect the company and not the individual employee, but you’re in a situation where the company is being exposed and could be held liable for what these women are doing. That makes what you’re dealing with an HR problem so if your HR people are smart, they will see that.

Some more suggestions from another anon who wanted to stay private:

* If you can have your meetings with them virtually, try to do so and  any time you’re in a virtual meeting, request it to be recorded. Sometimes when people like your bullies know they’re being recorded and monitored, they may behave.

* Consult your EAP (Employee Assistance Program) about what benefits you may have for mental health support.

* Consider getting your own lawyer. Hopefully your boss/leadership team/HR is wonderful enough that you won’t need to take it to a lawyer, but having a lawyer (even if it’s just a legal aid clerk from a law school’s clinic) in your back pocket can bring an immense sense of security because you know you have a backup plan if the company won’t help.

[glittter-vamp]

I know I’m not apart of this conversation but to that anon with the boy advice right now, how is it that Kim here can answer your asks today but that guy can’t text you back accordingly?

I agree with Kim, you deserve someone who will text you back and not ignore you for a day. Raise the bar! 🤗

[wolfythewitch]

Hi sorry another question about basira dgdjdh I really want to make sure I'm not misrepresenting a group :'D I've had people bring this up to me (something about her being the only canon poc in the main protags I think? I don't know too much since I'm trying to avoid spoilers)

Hi! Question! Because I cannot find a straight answer online. So basira is normally portrayed with a hijab and I know there are certain restrictions when it comes to muslim women like alcohol and certain dietary stuff. What about romantic relationships :0 like with daisy and basira. Would it be okay to draw them kissing/hugging/doing romantic acts or is that not allowed?

[thinkpink212]

so close to getting massage license! like you i only had to work on a few clients (my school was relaxation only) and then i can take the exam. i am nervous though because i only worked on a few clients ahhhh any advice

Omg, only a few? Hmmm I’d say offer massages to friends/family/network for practice. You can even charge a small fee as a ‘student in training’, that’s what I did!

I’d also look up videos on massage techniques so you have more deep tissue knowledge, for when your future client needs more then just relaxing work ☝🏾

Goodluck!

[suzukipc]

hey there! i saw your post about your struggle to create, and idk if it would help, but you could always try to start small. maybe something like little daily life comics (think 4-koma) about you or your ocs could help you build your way up to where you want to be? hope this helps to get your ball rolling, and good luck!

Hey anon, thank you so much for reaching out

That's a lovely suggestion, maybe I should stop trying to make things "future proof" and just.. do something; and I feel like your 4-koma suggestion works extremely well for that

Thank you, I'll try and give it a shot :)

[scarletlizzard]

Omg thank you 😭❤️

OKAY THIS IS-

A vulnerable anon ask 😔

So.. I have brothers. But they arent like the best brothers

And today, my bestfriend and i were talking about her brother, who's a few year younger than her but he's such a good sibling😭

And i didnt feel jealousy i felt envious, i was wondering why mine are so different and if my bestfriend's brother is actually an exception or the norm ?

I dont think there's a single answer to that but it feels good to talk about this because on the way home i was feeling a little guilty thinking i was jealous

First of all, thanks for sharing with me! Sometimes, it feels good to just rant to strangers and get it all out.

Secondly, I feel absolutely terrible you asked me because unfortunately I am an only child 😭

That being said, I basically grew up at my friends houses (home life wasn't the best). They all had siblings, and each household was a completely different experience.

One house there were 4 kids, and they all fought each other like you wouldn't believe. It was an absolute madhouse every time I stayed the night! But, they all loved each other. They took care of each other when it came down to things. I always loved staying there because of it. Even serious fights wouldn't last.

I remember another friend who had a younger brother. He treated her like absolute garbage, the biggest little shit ever. He never changed. They barely talk to this day, really only on holidays.

So to sum up, I probably have no clue what I'm talking about lol. I think every sibling and every family is going to be different and have different roles! You need to take care of you, do what's best for you. Feeling jealous is okay, just don't let it eat you up!

Again thanks for sharing, hope this helps even a little 😅 If anything you put it out there!

[honeypleasejustkillme]

How do I know if I have a crush or if this is just a FP situation…

hm id say it depends on how deeply you feel for them,, if you like them but (let’s go to extremes here) you wouldn’t die for them then you probably just have a crush on them but if you love them so much you’d die for them if something were to ever happen, that might be a fp situation.. that’s usually how i base things, if i can’t bear the thought of losing them because i don’t know how i’d cope.. that’s a fp situation for me