#annabeth can be sensitive too

[valewritessss]

Annabeth crying when she has to say bye to Cerberus is so special to me because it shows that she’s not truly all cold and stoic she’s a sweetheart

[lilislegacy]

In all these instances, Annabeth is going through a terribly stressful situation, and she’s not afraid to admit that she wants Percy to hold her. The only time Annabeth lets herself be truly vulnerable, and feels truly safe, is when she is in Percy’s arms.

She craves to be held by him. And that doesn’t mean she’s weak, or that he’s stronger than her, or that she relies on him to take care of her. It just means that for the first time in her life, she has a pair of arms to collapse into when she’s scared or upset. And yes, she absolutely does the same for Percy and takes care of him too, but it’s slightly different. Percy has always had his mom to love him and take care of him and hold him. Annabeth, however, had to put walls up at a young age. She learned to never rely on anybody else for safety or comfort, because she never consistently had someone loving her or taking care of her.

But now that she has that, it’s not a surprise that she yearns for his affection. Annabeth is touch-starved in a way that Percy isn’t. And she never feels more loved or more safe than she does when he is holding her. And I don’t know about you guys, but I am so happy that she has that now. Annabeth Chase is a warm, sensitive, and emotional character. And when those parts of her shine through, I think it makes her one of the most realistic characters.

For some reason, I feel like people think that Annabeth, and other female characters, have to be cold and insensitive in order to be strong. But I think that couldn’t be further from the truth! Allowing yourself to be vulnerable takes the utmost strength. Love and trust, and having someone by your side, makes people stronger, not weaker. I personally love that Annabeth lets herself be loved and comforted by her partner. Because she can be “the little spoon” and still be completely his equal. Wanting to be held and taken care of does not make someone lesser or weaker. It makes them human. (And it goes the same with men and all genders). It makes Annabeth one of the most relatable and realistic people in the series, and I love that Rick shows that side of her.

Annabeth Chase is a remarkably strong, fierce, legendary female warrior. She also craves to be held by her loving boyfriend. And those are not conflicting statements.

[helenofsparta2]

Percy, Nico, and Jason should have fallen into Tartarus together, while Annabeth should have remained with the rest of the Seven in House of Hades. Please hear me out.

1.

For one, this way Tartarus would have been much more intimidating. At least in my opinion, it has pretty much lost this aspect, especially after Sun and Star. Tartarus is the prison of the titans, a place so scary and so dangerous, that only the best of the best can make it through. Homer described it as being as far beneath Hades as heaven is above earth.  Overcoming it should be the ultimate challenge.

Yes, Annabeth is smart, incredibly so, but, I feel like, because Rick wanted her to be useful in Tartarus, he used a lot of cheap tricks in her POVs to get her and Percy over obstacles, which seem a bit too simple to really work against beings like Nyx. This took the heaviness away from them being down there and felt at times even anticlimactic. Don’t get me wrong, again, because I know this is a sensitive subject, Annabeth is smart, has a strong resolve and is great at hand to hand combat, but that’s it. And, in my opinion, that should not be enough to overcome Tartarus. If it would have taken a child of each of the big three working together to only barely make it out, it would have definitely reinforced that status, and also the gods’ belief that such children can become too powerful.

2.

Secondly, Percy not letting go of Nico’s hand, would have done wonders for the development of their relationship and for each character’s individual arc.

Imagine, Nico dangling from the edge, instead of Annabeth. Nico, who had only days prior pretended like he didn’t know Percy, who is so full of self-hatred, he thinks the entirety of camp half-blood hates him, who is already weakened by being imprisoned in the jar, and who is scared out of his mind by the idea of being alone in Tartarus again.

Imagine Nico staring up at Percy, clasping his hand, while Percy looks up at Annabeth, the love of his life, whom he had been separated from for months. Imagine Nico being convinced, that Percy is going to let Nico fall down to stay by her side.

But Percy refuses to let go.

He refuses to let go, even after Nico tells him he should do it, and decides instead to fall together with him into the worst place on earth, just so Nico doesn’t have to endure it alone again. It would have further reinforced Percy’s self-inflicted role as Nico’s protector which he already had in the original five books and his fatal flaw of loyalty. To Nico, it would have given him a worse inner conflict about having a crush on him, which could have been revolved while they were travelling together.  The confession scene would have been much more impactful and healthier, if it would have come from Nico himself, and if he and Percy would have had a more in depth talk about it.

And if Jason would have flown after them in a moment of desperation, it would have reinforced the sense of loyalty and protectiveness that he had already shown when he had saved Piper at the grand canyon. The scene with Polybotes could have also taken place in Tartarus instead, and him and Percy working together, and putting all of their differences aside would have been a much more interesting dynamic than the stupid, out of character, rivalry bit they’ve got going on in Mark of Athena.

And, to be honest, just having Nico, Percy and Jason go all out, would probably be one of the coolest scenes in the entire Riordan verse.  

3.

All the while, Annabeth could have really cemented her role as a leader. I love her character, but to say that she has more leadership capabilities than Percy is laughable to me after reading the original five Percy Jackson books. These books are, after all, about Percy’s hero’s journey from an inexperienced kid to a smart, powerful and wise hero and the leader of camp half blood.  Annabeth, in comparison, shows relatively little of that. (Obviously this makes sense, considering that the books are from Percy’s POV and revolve around him, but the complete switch-up to saying that Annabeth is the natural choice as leader of the seven just felt a bit out of the blue to me in Mark of Athena)

Her leading the rest, in a moment of such a tragedy and remaining strong would have really reinforced the strong resolve that she had already shown in holding the sky in titan’s curse and in remaining steadfast despite all the horrible things that happened to her with her father’s rejection and luke’s betrayal. Annabeth’s relationship to Piper, Leo, Hazel and Frank, which is painfully underdeveloped in the books, could have also been given some much needed attention. Like, I can’t remember a single scene where she and Hazel, or she and Leo really talk to one another, which is a shame, because they could have had really interesting dynamics with one another.

It also would have also been a powerful statement about Percy’s and Annabeth’s relationship, if they, while separated, still believed in each other and trusted that the other person would get the job done.

Without powerhouses like Jason and Percy on board of the Argo II, Hazel and Frank could have really shone as individual fighters. Hazel is probably the second, or third most powerful demigod in the entire franchise, but barely gets any attention, and for a guy, who is apparently so powerful his life had to be tied to a stick, Frank seems, outside of one or two scenes, also pretty underwhelming.  

Without Jason, Piper’s and Leo’s friendship could have also gotten some more attention, and generally the reunion scene at the end of House of Hades could have been much more impactful with these character dynamics. I mean, Hazel, and Nico being reunited, Jason, leo and Piper, and Percy and Annabeth, and Percy, Hazel and Frank.

One of the biggest problems, I have with Heroes of Olympus is the extreme focus on romantic relationships. Having some couples be separated from each other like this, would have also solved this and given the only couple still together, Frank and Hazel, more room to develop.

[restinslices]

Everything pt2

PJO Show Ares X Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 6168 (I realized a bit late that majority is me setting up the scene. If you just wanna see their talk, read after the “~~”)

Summary: You haven’t seen your father since the last time you talked, but of course with your luck he finds you again and you’re forced to make a big decision.

Warnings: Reader is going through it, poor attempt at a fight scene, the lore and timeline is probably fucked up but ignore that, OOC Ares probably and as of typing I’m realizing MAJOR SPOILER FOR THE TITANS CURSE. To avoid this, scroll until you see “I don’t have any friends that come over” or “~” if you wanna be extra careful.

You’d love to say that not seeing your father after your last talk was some sort of surprise, but it wasn’t. Thankfully (is that selfish to think?) none of the demigods had a real good relationship with their parent. Well, Percy seemed to have a solid relationship with Posideon, but it’s not like he saw him everyday. And as selfish and heartless as it sounded, that offered you a bit of relief and comfort. It’s not like your father was sensitive and loving to you and you screwed it up. Everything was pretty much back to normal. 

 It was a pretty somber day at camp. Percy, Grover and Thalia had managed to save Annabeth and Artemis, but it didn’t come without casualties. You weren’t necessarily friends with Bianca or Zoë but you still grieved over them. The hardest part though, was watching how sad your friends had gotten, especially Percy. You knew what Percy was like. Percy was extremely loyal but that loyalty led to carrying a lot more weight on his shoulders than what was necessary. If your suspicions were right (and you knew they were), he’d blame himself for Bianca’s death. That made zero sense to you. He told you exactly how she died and to you, it seemed like Bianca made a choice. Percy couldn’t have done anything to stop it. He didn’t see it that way and you weren’t sure why you insisted on telling him over and over again and trying to cheer him up. 

 “Nico?” Percy raised to his feet when he saw you approaching. You shook your head,

 “No sign of him. He’s been missing for a week now Percy. If we were gonna find him, we would’ve found him by now”. Percy looked defeated. You were sure he knew the chances of finding him were slim to none, but you kept combing areas of the woods for him to keep him somewhat at peace. If he thought there was a chance, he wouldn’t be as depressed hopefully. 

 “I’m gonna say it again-“

 “Don’t”

 “Well what should I say to calm you down?”

 Percy thought for a moment but just shrugged and started heading inside his cabin and you followed. Percy collapsed on his own bed and you took it upon yourself to sit on the bed next to his. You didn’t know if it was because you held resentment towards your father, or if you actually liked Cabin 3 but you really wished this was your cabin instead. “Must be nice having a cabin all to yourself. No obnoxious cabin mates, no extra noise, nobody leaving their shit on the floor”.

 “I guess” was all he said back to you and you sighed. You didn’t wanna keep repeating yourself but you genuinely didn’t know what to say but not saying anything made you feel like an asshole that was ignoring the situation. 

 So you tried to change the subject. 

“Is it like this at home too? Just you and your mom? No friends over?”. 

 “I don't have any friends that can come over”

 “None at school?”

 “None”.

 That made you frown. You were older than Percy by a few years, so you had time to adjust to how lonely life could be as a half-blood and by now, you didn't return “home” either. Camp was your home now year round. You understood why Percy kept going home though. You heard about his mom and she seemed like a nice woman. You were grateful he at least had that. 

 But instead of saying something sweet and nice and voicing your thoughts, you made a joke instead. “That's why your little ass keeps getting into trouble. You have no one out there watching out for you”

 “My mom watches out for me plenty”

 “But she's not keeping schools from being blown up now is she?”. Percy rolled his eyes, but he didn't look as sad as before so you took this as a sign to keep talking “if I was watching you, you'd be alright. At least you'd have help”

 “You're tryna live with me now?”

 “Sure”, you said with a shrug. “A cool mom, random blue food, stopping you from exposing yourself - it all sounds grand”. You both laughed at your joke because that's what it was. A joke. 

 At least… it was at first. 

 Either Percy didn't know what a joke was, or he was pretty fond of having a big sibling when he was home because the next day he told you he sent an Iris message to his mom and she was fine with getting an air mattress for you. You almost told Percy that it was just a joke, but then you thought about how lonely he must be at home and how annoying it can be only having his mom to talk to about this demigod stuff. Plus, it hopefully wouldn't hurt to get a break from camp. 

 You didn't know why you decided to pray and tell Poseidon about this, but you did. The sun had set and you slipped out of your cabin and snuck into the woods. You made a mini fire and threw two candy bars the Stoll brothers managed to sneak in, which was a real shitty offering but it was all you had. You couldn't do it during the feast. You had too much to say and someone would hear. 

 “Terrible offering, I know. I hope you're listening anyway” you started. “I'm gonna be following Percy around when he goes home and I'm gonna try and keep him and Sally somewhat safe. I don't know how safe Percy can really be but I'll try anyway. I hope that's not a problem. I'm not tryna step on your toes or anything”. 

 In all honesty praying and giving offerings felt strange. You were supposed to pray to Ares everyday and give him an offering, but you stopped doing that after your last talk. The first time you threw food in a fire and didn't say his name, you thought you'd combust as a punishment. You didn't though, so you kept doing it. Occasionally you'd give offerings to other gods but it was mainly Athena. Partially because she was like Ares but not really and partially because you hoped it would upset Ares. Was it childish? Yes. But compared to someone as old as Ares, you were a child. 

 “That's all I really have to say. If you don't want me to go you can drown me in my sleep or maybe send a letter. Whatever works for you”. You looked around, expecting for some paper saying “absolutely not” to land somewhere around you but nothing happened, so you put out the fire and snuck back into your cabin. 

~

 You don't think you have a huge ego, but you definitely felt you deserved a pat on the back for how good your work was. 

 You were able to convince your own lousy family to hand over any legal documents to Sally and thankfully Percy's middle school had a highschool right next to it. Although the demigods weren't supposed to use phones, a minor text here and there saying “hey, I think there's monsters here” didn't hurt anyone. There were plenty of times you had to sneak out of your school and into his, and if you weren't so busy fighting for your life, you'd audition to be in some spy or assassin movie. 

 Thankfully though, you weren't always busy helping Percy. You figured you might as well help Sally out so you got a job at a nearby bookstore inside of a mall and honestly? You'd prefer fighting monsters over dealing with bratty customers. Seriously though, how can you be a bitch at a bookstore? 

 “I've already told you ma'am” you said in a monotone voice, “we can't give you a refund if you do not have a receipt”. 

 The black hair woman scoffed and looked at you as if you caused the problem she was having. “A receipt? Do I seem like the type of woman who keeps a receipt?! When I bought Twilight, I expected better and I hate it and now I want a refund and as the customer, I am always right!”. 

 The entire conversation made you wanna explode in front of her and change the trajectory of her life, but unfortunately it didn't happen. What was with mortals and not understanding basic store rules?

 “I would love it if you were right but you're not. No receipt. No refund”. She scoffed again and you wanted to grab her by the throat and stop the noise from ever leaving her mouth again. 

 “Well what do you expect me to do?!”

 “Pick up a different book then get out maybe?”. 

 You couldn't put a finger on the noise that came out of her next. It was some deep throaty sound with a mix of anger and disgust. “Do you know who I am? I'm Holly Holiday-” you accidentally cracked a smile at her stupid name and that just fueled her rage. She pointed a finger at your name tag and said your name, followed by “you are so done for! I'll have you eaten alive for this!”. 

 She turned on her heels and left in a huff. Fucking finally. 

 You looked over at your coworker Harper and pretended your fingers were a gun and shot yourself, getting a laugh out of her. Harper and her twin Hazel shared a few classes with you and by some coincidence they also worked in the mall. Harper was with you while Hazel worked at the costume store downstairs. You couldn't tell them apart and you weren't sure if you'd ever pass the “we talk sometimes” stage but it didn't matter right now. 

 “I know it's closing time but are you ok if I take a bathroom break really quick? I can help out when I get back”

She waved dismissively, “take your time man. Hazel'll be coming up here too”. You nodded with a small thank you and stepped into the mostly vacant mall. The mall was usually lively but with it being so late at night, the only people around were other people like that annoying customer and workers who had the misfortune of still working this late. 

 It was eerily quiet. Sure, you thought you were used to how silent it was at this time of night, but you still got the creeps and did not take your time alone in the bathroom. 

 Maybe you should have though, because once you left the bathroom that same annoying lady was waiting outside, which she definitely should not have been doing. 

 “I told you I did not like that book”. 

 Seriously? She was still complaining? She was still here after the store had pretty much closed? 

 You said something that would've gotten you fired if your boss was around, “yeah? Tough shit lady. No receipt, no refund, it's as simple as that. Don't buy books you haven't read. Now get out the mall and go take care of your kids”. 

 She snarled. A genuine snarl that made you start to sneakily slip off the bracelet you were wearing. You didn't know if gods could give other kids gifts, and either it had been allowed this whole time or Poseidon didn't care since shortly after your “chat” after hours you received a dagger that could transform into a bracelet. You thought maybe Ares had sent it, but his gifts didn't smell of the ocean and a fresh breeze. 

 Regardless of who gave it to you, that snarl didn't sound good. 

 “I don't think you're very good at your job”

 “I guess I'm not. Now do us both a favor and just leave”. 

 She didn't leave. Instead she smirked and that was all the confirmation you needed to know something was wrong. The bracelet slipped off your wrist and while the monster was transforming, you gripped your weapon and brought it up through the bottom of her mouth. You pulled it out, but not through the entry wound. You pulled it towards you, letting it split her face in half. 

 Just in case, you stabbed her in the heart, twisted the knife then pulled it out of her through the side of her chest. You didn’t have to wait for her to crumble. It was game over. A surprisingly easy win. 

 You grabbed some nearby napkins so you could wipe your dagger clean then returned it back to your wrist. 

 “What happened?” Harper asked once you stepped back inside, which was really odd for multiple reasons. 

 Firstly, you looked like you usually did. Nothing about you was particularly out of place. At least you didn't think so. 

 Secondly, she didn't sound curious. She didn't sound concerned. She sounded frustrated, like you did something wrong. 

 “Nothing” you lied. “It's nothing. Let's just clean up, yeah?”. 

 “I'm sure it's not nothing Child of Ares”. 

Your brows knitted together and you hoped you just heard wrong. You turned to look at Harper and that's when it started to click. 

 Harper. Hazel. Holly. 

 Harpies. 

 They were too lazy to pick a different initial for the first name and you fell for it like an idiot. Plus the “I’ll have you eaten alive” comment. But in all fairness, who actually takes those comments seriously? If you took every threatening comment seriously, you'd be sent to an asylum. 

 Harper's short red hair looked like flames now. Her green eyes looked hungry for your flesh and her sharp teeth glistened in the light as feathers grew from her arms. Realistically, you should've been scared. There were two alive harpies in the building, but something about a monster with a gray shirt with mini white books decorated on it really made you wanna laugh. She must've sensed this since she sneered, 

 “You think I'm funny?”

 “Do you want an honest answer?”

 “You won't think I'm so funny soon you spoiled demigod!”. You wanted to make a joke about how calling children with severe abandonment issues “spoiled” was silly, but you decided this wasn't the time. Instead you took the bracelet off. 

 Harper laughed in your face. “You think that will stop me?” 

 “Handled your friend pretty well. How about you stop trash talking and come over here so we can see if you're any different”. You don't know which comment got her so angry but she leapt at you. 

 You sidestepped her and planned on delivering a quick stab to the neck, but she must've seen it coming. She grabbed something and quickly turned to bat you in the face with it, making you stumble back. It took you a quick second to realize she hit you with a book. A Goosebumps book no less. 

 “You are incredibly childish” you mumbled and you wished you could laugh it off. Maybe you were childish too because you picked up the book and launched it at her face, feeling a tad bit disappointed when she dodged it. 

 You swung at her but she caught your wrist and squeezed hard enough to make you drop your dagger. You were quick on your feet though and you brought your available elbow down on her inner elbow (you were sure it had a scientific name but honestly who cares?). You heard a crunch and Harper screeched. Her grip loosened enough for you to snatch away while kicking her, her flying and hitting the railing. 

 You grabbed the dagger and threw it. You meant for it to hit somewhere fatal but she moved and instead it hit her directly in the eye, which made her screech even louder. 

 You snatched your necklace off and the object quickly took the shape of a double sided sword. It was a gift from your father and although he was probably pissed at you, you figured he probably wasn't watching and wouldn't care. 

 You charged at her and swung the sword. Although she was screaming in pain and was no doubt in agony, she slid under the blade. As she turned to face you, her hands moved and a sharp gust of wind knocked you off the third floor. 

 To make matters worse, Hazel decided to make an appearance. She was right below you, cackling, arms outstretched and you knew if you landed in those arms she'd devour you. 

 You did the only thing you could think of with such short timing. You angled the sword vertically and aimed directly for her mouth. She seemed to understand but it was too late. You came crashing down, your sword along with you and it slid directly in her mouth and down her throat. Because of the sword having a solid middle so you could hold onto something, it didn't go all the way through and you stumbled a bit, but you were better off than her. She stopped all movement and to make sure the job was done, you ripped the sword through her, cutting her in half. 

 “MY SISTER!”,  Harper screeched and you looked up at her with your messy sword in hand. 

 “You want more from the Child of Ares?!” You claimed you hated trash talk and you especially hated being called his child but the adrenaline was really getting to you. “I have plenty to give!”. 

 She flew up higher and started to come down fast towards you. You readied your sword, prepared to end this but suddenly she stopped and started trembling. 

 “L-L-Lord Ares. I-”

 Before you could ask any questions and she could finish her sentence, you were being launched into the air. The scream you let out was embarrassing but it didn't matter in the end. You both collided and hit the wall and instead of being knocked out or injured like you thought you'd be, you were completely fine. Your sword went straight through her chest and pinned her to the wall behind her and you were hanging above the ground, grasping onto the hilt of your sword and hoping your hands wouldn’t start sweating. 

 “L-L-Lord Ares. I-”

 No. No way. It couldn’t be. But who else could’ve launched you in the air like that?

 You looked down and there he was. You don’t know why, but you expected him to look somewhat different. Maybe a new haircut or a new jacket. Maybe he’d try contacts, but no. He looked exactly the same. You didn’t know if you were comforted or unnerved by it.

 You wished you had something cool to say but all you said was “what are you doing here?”.

 “Saving your life”. Yeah right. You had everything 100% under control. He chuckled and you started to wonder if he could read your mind. When you screamed internally though, he didn’t flinch so that theory went out the window. Maybe you looked annoyed and didn’t know it. 

 “Are you gonna catch me?” You asked.

 “What for?”

 “Because you threw me all the way to the fifth floor and it’d be nice not to break something”

 “You need me to warm up milk up for you too?”.

 Fuck it. You’d risk the broken leg.

 You tightened your hands around the hilt and planted your feet on the wall then pushed off with all your might. Fortunately, you got the sword out the wall. Unfortunately, you were now falling from five floors up. 

 You braced for impact, but instead of falling and hitting the floor, you fell into someone’s arms. You looked up, thinking that maybe someone was with your father that you didn’t see before, but no. It was him. He caught you. Something you weren’t expecting but you weren’t against.

 You mumbled a thanks and stood on your feet. The year was 2006 when you last talked. It was early in 2008 and while that wasn’t that big of a gap, the talk you had last time made things more awkward. 

 “I thought you’re not allowed to interfere”

 He raised a brow at you as if saying “you care about rules now when you’ve been breaking them?”. Were you breaking them though? Sure you were encouraged to give offerings to your parent but you hadn’t been punished… yet. If it was so bad you wouldn’t be walking right now. And you doubted he paid enough attention to notice. He was probably relieved to have one less kid bothering him.

 Gods, you were a downer.

 “Are you gonna tell on me?” He asked.

 “If you hadn’t caught me”

 “And now?”

 “My lips are sealed”. You didn’t see his expression. You were too busy looking down at your shoes. A habit you hated you developed. It made you feel small. But you guessed demigods were supposed to be small in comparison to their parent. That’s why you showed them respect but they hardly returned the favor. 

 A moment of silence passed before he spoke up again.

 “You have money on you?”.

 Was he gonna rob you now? “Uh, yeah”.

 “You’re paying for dinner. Let’s go”

 He started walking away before you could even respond, and like a reflex you grabbed his arm to slow him down. “I can’t”.

 “Can’t?” He said so calmly it kinda scared you.

 “Yeah. I can’t. My uh…” you decided not to tell him the entire truth about staying with Percy and Sally. “My ride… mom. She’s coming to get me. You don’t want mom knowing you’re in town, right?”. 

 He looked you up and down and you tried your best to not seem nervous. You weren’t sure he believed you but he let it go for the night.

 You wished it stayed that way. That he’d just go back wherever he came from but instead he told you the name of a diner nearby and said to be there by noon tomorrow and that you were paying. 

 “Great. Thanks dad” you thought. “I always love our talks”.

~~

 The good thing about his random plan to go to a diner at noon was that you were allowed to clean yourself and sleep beforehand. The bad thing was that now you were sitting across from him and it was incredibly awkward. 

 Ares kept laughing at his phone and you debated on asking him what was so funny but he said “started a Twitter war about vaccination. It’s getting good”. You screamed in your head again, but once again he didn’t flinch. Maybe he just had a good poker face.

 “I’m happy for you?”. He glanced up at you and instead of going back to his phone, he set it face down on the table. You didn’t know if he seemed to glow because of the little war he started, or if a source of light was hitting him nicely. Maybe it was a god thing. 

 “You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you here”

 Was this an HR meeting? “I’m wondering why I’m paying”

 “Ask me”

 “You know I wanna know though so why am I asking?”

He didn’t respond. He just looked at you and you could hear his foot tapping on the floor.

 You rubbed your brow, already feeling a migraine coming on. You took a deep breath and let out a sarcastic response (which was not a good idea but your mouth worked faster than your brain). 

 “Ares, the amazing God of War. The Protector of Mistreated Women. Wearer of biker jackets. I come before you as your humble child, begging thee to tell me what required my summons and why you were at the mall last night. Please please please tell me. I’ll fall over and die if you don’t”.

 Sarcastic or not, he accepted it. He motioned towards the platter of burgers and fries, “this is your thank you. This is your offering to me since you haven’t been doing that”. 

 Well fuck. You didn’t think he’d notice. 

You leaned back in your seat and your fingers strummed against your knees and you had to remind yourself that running out probably wouldn’t end well.

 “You noticed?”

 “I did” he said simply. It reminded you of how emotionless he was the last time you talked. It reminded you of how frustrated you were that he talked as if nothing was wrong and as if your pain didn’t affect him. 

 “You demigods think you’re so smart. You have these big egos and think you’re ahead of us. You gave your offerings to Athena and Poseidon of all people ” he spat their names like it left a bitter taste in his mouth to mention them. 

 “And then you stay with that fish boy and his mom. Yeah. I saw that too. And I save your life and you don’t seem the least bit grateful”.

 Grateful.

 Something about that word you hated.

 Grateful? What was there to be grateful for? “Yeah dad, I’m super grateful my life consists of monsters trying to eat me and a dad I only see once in a blue moon. Totally grateful”.

 “We can’t interfere”

 “Didn’t stop you last night”

 He tsked, “I don’t get you. You complain about my absence then you complain when I’m here when I could be doing anything else!”. His voice rose but the people in the diner were either used to this or didn’t care enough to say anything.

 The nervousness and the fear rolled off you the more he spoke. Gratefulness? Doing anything else? You weren’t stopping him. 

 “Then go do those things. I’m not holding your hand and making you stay”. Your brain told you to shut up and apologize, but your mouth wasn’t having it. “And this isn’t about us and you know it. This is about you. This is about your ego being hurt. You don’t care about my safety. You didn’t go to the mall to protect me. You just love a fight and you were probably disappointed you couldn’t do more”

 “That’s what you think?” His eyes burned with something you couldn’t quite place. Anger obviously, but it seemed like something else was there. Or maybe there was literal fire in his eyes. Either way, it was clear he was upset and if you didn’t shut up soon, he’d probably turn you into a random animal.

 But who didn’t love animals?

 “That’s what I know. And I didn’t need your help. I was just fine. The only thing you would’ve missed if I somehow died was your little offerings. I don’t matter to you. Just admit it so we can move on”. Ares opened his mouth to say something, but you spoke again “and for your information Percy and Sally are very nice people. They feel more like family than you do”. 

 That shut up whatever he planned on saying. The last time you two talked you swore you saw an emotion cross his face. This time you were definitely sure you saw something cross his face before it went back to its default expression. 

 Was that regret? 

 No. That was stupid and you’ve had plenty of stupid thoughts. 

 It went silent. Weirdly, eerily silent. 

The diner wasn’t silent obviously but you two were.

You both were just staring at each other like statues. You wished you could read his mind. You hoped you would see thoughts of regret and sorrow and maybe hopefulness about your relationship going forward. You wished he had the same thoughts you had. Another stupid thought. Being hopeful didn’t work with him.

 For whatever reason, your mind wandered off to the late night talks you’d have with Sally and for whatever other reason, you started to speak.

 “Have you heard the song American Pie? Yes, it’s somewhat important to what I have to say. Yes or no only please”

 He looked bored and unamused but he answered anyway. “I don’t know. Maybe? Who cares?”.

 “There’s a line in the song that says this’ll be the day that I die. And for whatever reason it made me think about what I’d do if I were dying. If I woke up one day and I knew I was gonna die that day, what would I do? You wanna know what I realized?”

 He raised his brows for a second and leaned back in his chair. There was a possibility he was still bored but he seemed somewhat interested. “Shoot”.

 You smiled bitterly. Here he was so calm and fine and here you were, speaking slow and hoping your voice didn’t waver or crack. “I realized-” you failed. Your voice wobbled a bit and you cleared your throat a little too loud. “I realized I’d spend every second trying to make you love me”.

 You didn’t bother trying to read any expression he had next. You knew you’d always get it wrong and you’d imagine what you wanted to see. “And I uh… I don’t wanna be that way anymore”. You blinked rapidly, trying to prevent any tears from falling out. You didn’t have the rain to cover your face and blend in like you did last time. “And selfishly I hope that scares you”.

 “Gods don’t feel fear”

 “Well whatever you wanna call it I hope you feel it. I hope -and I’m gonna keep calling it fear- I hope you feel afraid for what that means for us”

 “Allow me to humor you for a bit” you felt as though the comment was supposed to be sarcastic but it didn’t sound sarcastic or aggressive. It was weirdly soft. “Why would you not wanting to spend your last day with me scare me?”

 “Because that means I won’t admire you anymore” you answered. “You don’t get it. You don’t get how much you mean to me. You don’t get how much I used to idolize you. Before I was claimed, I was already intrigued by you. Once I was claimed I read every single story that had to do with you. I was honored to be your child and tried to show you how honored I was everyday. I didn’t do all this for me. The training, bettering my Greek, learning everything I could about mythology. I didn’t do that for me. I did that so I would never shame your name and make you look like you raised incompetent idiots. The way I would defend your name and what you represent, you’d think I was being paid”

 “Me not admiring you anymore means I won’t care about defending you. It means I won’t care anymore about our family relationship. And I hope the idea of me calling you Ares instead of dad terrifies you. That emptiness or indifference I’ll feel when I hear your name… I know it hasn’t happened yet but thinking about it terrifies me too. Maybe I’m just selfish and don’t wanna be alone”. You used your sleeve to wipe at your wet face, a mix of embarrassment and relief for finally getting this out of you. “I could be right. I doubt it. I’m probably just making all that up but either way I need you to stop doing this. Seeing you at all, it gives me hope. I don’t want an enemy for life. I’m not Percy. But this is just gonna make this harder and if you hate me I am begging you to have mercy and leave me be. No visiting. I won’t come to see you when we do that little field trip either. I’ll stay at camp or I’ll go bother another god. Hermes is really nice. And if I break my end of the deal you can do whatever you want to me. Turn me into an ant, rearrange my fingers, throw me down a flight of stairs at full force, whatever”.

 There you went again making up shit. Swearing you saw something worse than sadness on his face; grief. That was impossible. Your eyes were just playing tricks on you like they always did. 

 You didn’t know what you wanted him to say, but you didn’t expect “you think, but you don’t know anything”.

 “Then tell me what I don’t know”. He didn’t say anything. He went silent and you were getting real tired of his silences. You sighed, “Sally’s been waiting outside so…”

 “Yeah…”. He let out a breath. Annoyance. Had to be. “You want this?” He asked.

 You were honest. “No” you said instantly. “No I don’t but this just seems like the best thing to do”. He didn’t argue with you. 

 Your hand went to reach inside your pocket for money but then he spoke again “keep it”.

 “It’s no problem-”.

 “Just keep it”.

 You nodded. 

 You stayed sitting down. Why was it so hard to stand? Why did your legs feel so wobbly and your throat so dry? Why did your chest feel like a huge weight was crushing it? Weren’t you supposed to feel the opposite? Free and lively? Feel like you could float?

 Another stupid thing escaped your lips. “Can you do me a favor?”.

 “Another one?” He asked lifelessly- no. He was not lifeless. He was happy. You were sure of it. You’d leave and he’d cheer because he wouldn’t have to deal with another kid anymore. You knew it.

 “It’s not a favor if you don’t wanna see me either”. Another bit of silence but you weren’t surprised. “Can we do that thing mortals do? You know, when they hug and say they love each other before they go their own way? Or maybe just the ‘I love you’ part”. He looked at you for a bit and you were about to apologize for making it weird and leave but Ares stood up. 

 You stood up.

 It’s strange how something you’ve never done before can feel so right. Like it was always meant to happen or always supposed to be this way. You weren’t necessarily cold and Ares wasn’t a heater, but the second he wrapped his arms around you and you did the same for him, you felt much warmer. Not a burden type of warmth. The kind of warmth that brings you relief on a freezing cold day. That crushing feeling stayed the same though.

 “I love you dad” you said and it fell out so naturally, you’d forgive anyone for thinking this was a normal occurrence. That the fight you had was just a small disagreement but otherwise you two had an amazing relationship.

 You didn’t know how the words “I love you too” would sound coming out of his mouth, but it sounded better than you hoped for. It once again sounded natural and genuine even if you knew it wasn’t. 

 You thought it wasn’t.

 No. You knew it wasn’t. This was no time for brain tricks and delusions. 

 Pulling apart was probably the hardest thing you had to do and your job was keeping Percy Jackson safe. That sudden coldness fell over you again and the crushing got worse.

 It didn’t get any better when you left. You didn’t have the guts to look at him one last time, afraid you’d call off your deal right then and there if you made eye contact with him. 

 Luckily Sally was an intelligent person. She was smart enough not to ask how it went. Even if she did, it’s not like you could answer with the huge lump in your throat. 

 “Do you want ice cream dear?”.

 You shrugged. There was that word again. Want. You didn’t know what you wanted anymore. You thought you did but it all felt wrong. There was no weight lifted off your shoulders and you didn’t feel light on your feet. You felt cold and hollow. The weight got worse and pushed down on you with so much force, you didn’t know it was even possible. 

 Then your eyes landed on his bike and it all came out. Your head fell into your hands and you let out sobs that were lodged deep in your chest. Your ears were ringing and you were sure you looked and sounded like the most pathetic person alive but you couldn’t care anymore. Sally, once again being an intelligent woman, took that as a sign it was time to go and pulled off. You assumed Sally would’ve dropped Percy off after you went inside. You assumed he wouldn’t wanna wait out here for you while you talked to one of the people that hated him the most. His hand patted your shoulder, notifying you that he was in the car still. Usually you’d make a joke and tell them that you were fine, but nothing came out but borderline hysterical sobs. 

 You grew jealous of Percy. He didn’t see Poseidon much but at least he knew deep down that Poseidon cared for him. Sometimes you’d get that feeling but you thought it was all a delusion. Fuck. Why did you keep doing that? You knew it was all a delusion. 

 That choice had to be the right one. It needed to be the right one.

 That didn’t stop this wave of agony from drowning you, and you’d fight a thousand harpies if it meant this feeling would go away.

Omg y’all I did it😭. I mixed two ideas someone suggested with my own ideas and here we are. I hope y’all like it even though a huge portion is me yapping but to be fair I didn’t realize until after I was done and summarizing all of that didn’t seem like it’d sound right, yk? There was definitely a way I could’ve done it but I’m stupid soooo… yeah. Anyway, OOC Ares but this is my angsty fantasy so I’m making him care about his kids. In my head the whole “I hate my own kids” is him trying to convince himself he doesn’t care for them so it’s easier to stay apart from them. Idk, maybe I’ll make a part 3 from his perspective and answer why he said he was saving their life. I make no promises tho. And I know I said it’s show Ares so skipping ahead doesn’t make sense but we know what’s gonna happen Taglist: @kyuupidwrites @chadmeeksmartinswifey @lebguardians @beansficreblogs (one asked to be tagged, one asked for more dad fics, then one commented plus reblogged and one reblogged, so although majority did not ask, imma just assume y’all would wanna see a part 2😀. We’re getting the band back together like this is Phineas and Ferb)

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

PJO Hogwarts AU! Notes below:

- Kronos is Voldemort. Obviously. He was vanquished by Zeus years ago, but is on the rise and can only be defeated by the “Chosen One” (for neither can live while the other survives yadda yadda)

- The “Chosen One” is one of the Big Three’s children—not even just the first to turn 16, just one of them

- The whole point of the AU is people trying to figure out which one out of Percy, Nico, and Jason is the “Chosen One” while all of them are secretly hoping for it to be one of the others

- Death Eaters tracked down and targeted the kids after hearing the prophecy, resulting in Bianca’s death pre-enrolment to Hogwarts. She fended them off while telling Nico to escape 🥲

- Thus, Nico shows up to Hogwarts already having lost faith in the system and edgy and sad asf. But there’s no real reason to blame Percy so they don’t have that complicating their relationship further

- Thalia turned into the Whomping Willow. No idea how or why. She also turns back at some point. No idea how or why. Drops out of school to become an underage Auror? No idea how or why.

- I fully researched Hogwarts house qualities before sorting them. I was so deep into it. Percy’s loyalty speaks for itself. Jason was difficult but I shoved him into Gryffindor. And a friend suggested Nico be in Gryffindor but just be really disgruntled about it, so that’s where he is. He has to deal with the passionate reckless assholes while in denial about being a passionate reckless asshole. (Also Nico & Jason bonding opportunities :D)

- Due to Slytherin being now inhabited practically solely by Hermes kids (who are not all related in this AU), Slytherin has totally lost its reputation as the “evil” house, and now proudly carries the tag of “Prankster House”. They’re like Fred and George Weasley except the pranking is a house-wide phenomenon

- Jason attended Durmstrang where he was held to insanely high standards as a model student/leader. After the Tri-Wizard tournament he decided to transfer to Hogwarts instead (all the Camp Jupiter kids are at Durmstrang.)

- Jason becomes Quidditch captain. Percy is duelling club captain. Percy is a god awful flier and it’s safer for everyone if he never touched a broom. Both constantly try to recruit Nico into their respective extracurriculars.

Some bonus character houses:

Gryffindor: Nico, Jason, Clarisse, Calypso, Grover, Piper, and “the Stoll brothers are in Gryffindor solely due to their lack of fear for consequences”

Hufflepuff: Percy, Will Solace, Meg

Slytherin: Annabeth (fucking fight me on this I dare you) (I’m joking I’m sensitive and I’ll cry) (but I won’t lose bitch square up), Thalia, Luke, Ethan Nakamura, Drew, the whole of Hermes cabin (minus the Stoll brothers)

Ravenclaw: Leo, the whole of Athena cabin (minus Annabeth), probably most of Hephaestus cabin too, I wish there were more specific characters but I cannot think of any rn tbh

(I probably missed some characters but anyway 🤷)

[aroaceleovaldez]

Hello, if you still have Nico di Angelo thoughts, I have a curiosity. How likely do you think it would be for Nico to express some of that internalized homophobia (that he got over way too quickly imo) towards others too?

Not violent homophobia, but little comments that make others go "huh, something about what you said feels off"

Nico doesn't mean harm by them, but he has views that are accurate to the time he was born and raised and I don't think there've been many opportunities for those views to be challenged enough for them to change (at least from what we've seen in canon, TSATS dni)

(Of course I know this is a sensitive topic so if you're uncomfortable with it feel free to ignore the ask)

I actually do have a very specific thought about this! Thank you for asking - So my take on it is I don't think Nico would have his internalized homophobia externalize at others - he's a very tolerant character in general and it's implied Maria generally raised him to be very tolerant. I think the majority of his internalized homophobia manifests mostly as a subset of his self-loathing more than anything, because he is actually very assured in his identity in general! Most of his problems with his own identity aren't actually grappling with any specific identity itself, but his concerns with how other people perceive him about said identity (being gay, son of Hades, etc). (I do agree though that in canon he moved on from that WAY too quickly.)

That being said I do think people around him would mistakenly assume he's homophobic at first, LOL.

A.) I think his language is VERY outdated, because he probably has never had the opportunity to educate himself on English queer terminology back in the day, and absolutely has never had the opportunity to educate himself on modern queer topics/terminology, nor would he probably be brave enough to do so on his own. If he's had any brushes with modern English queer stuff it'd probably be the kids at Westover saying slurs and Nico internally quietly going ("??? is that the word for it?") He knows it's considered crude but he can't tell if it's because it's impolite terminology or just general homophobia and he's too afraid to ask, so he just awkwardly avoids saying anything at all or just VEEEERRRY SLOWLY starts letting out the most hesitant "...f-?" until his friends cover his mouth going "no no no no, don't say that-" (Nico di Angelo voted most likely to say "Is he... yknow... [gestures vaguely]...?")

B.) Nico kind of goes deer-in-the-headlights about queer topics in HoH and I imagine that would be something that continues for a bit until he learns that he's in a safe space for it. Like anybody starts mentioning queer stuff and he just freezes up a little bit and starts awkwardly trying to read for what reaction he should be having based on everybody else while remaining polite as possible, but also he can't tell if they're being sarcastic or not so he's just trying to leave just in case someone starts being homophobic, and also he's very confused anyways because he's not caught up on the terminology. But everyone else just reads that as "oh, queer topics make Nico DEEPLY uncomfortable. Is he homophobic but like, trying to be nice about it?" (cause the majority of camp probably still thinks Nico has a crush on Annabeth and has no reason to believe he likes guys, or anyone for that matter). And then people find out he's from the 1930s and proceed to filter his behavior through that lens and just assume "Oh, it must just be him being from the 1930s" and leave it at that.

Also its just REALLY funny to me to have the dynamic of Will looking at Nico, mistakenly assuming he must just be mildly homophobic, and going "I CAN FIX HIM-" while there is Nothing To Fix he's just old, gay, closeted, and confused.

[doylldonmagar]

So I saw @hermesmyplatonicbeloved 's post and had some thoughts. I agree and disagree. I am a percabeth fan but I also know that some of it is screwy, and if you are familiar with my blog, you know this. I think RR screwed up and wrote out a LOT of trauma, I think he really should have dealt with that better. I think it's not good that he wrote trauma and mental issues and abuse into the foundation of many characters and then has ignored it when it became convenient for the plot.

I would love to see specific quotes and books for these because some of them I have no memory of and would like to revisit them.

I'm gonna talk my way through all of this so I'm gonna text break here

The first point is Percy scaring her to tears. I can only imagine in Tartarus? Like when they're both in their worst state? I don't know. I agree they should have talked about it, but I think they should have talked about all of HoH, which brings me back to saying: Rick really failed at dealing with trauma and processing and long term effects. Honestly, being scared *of* him, yeah I agree that's bad, but is that the situation? If she's scared by his power, then I'm not sure of where I stand on this, I don't know anyone with demigod powers, but I don't think I'd be scared simply because I know someone is capable of hurting me. Plenty of people are capable of hurting me. Like I don't know, what situation is this?

"Percy has been suicidal the whole time annabeth has known him, in BoO Percy attempts suicide and annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing" I'd really like a page or quote because i remember him being suicidal but never attempting. (Im rereading what i wrote, is this maybe referring to percy deciding it would be better if he drowned when hes with Jason? If so, I thought the book said annabeth wasn't told that he wanted to give up) But really my bigger issue with this statement is the fact that it's not necessarily a bad relationship just because a person doesn't realize someone is suicidal, or if their suicidal thoughts are fluctuating. If he's been suicidal the entire time she's known him, how should she know? And why is it the girlfriend's job to stop him from suicide? Like yeah she should care, but that's not her responsibility. No one should feel responsible for a significant other's suicide unless they encouraged the SO to do it.

The judo flip, I agree, annabeth should have been more sensitive to Percy's past and again, I blame Rick for conveniently forgetting that an abused kid is not going to laugh or even take well to being thrown on the ground. This also reminds me of a post I made a while back, because I was so frustrated by media portrayals of women getting upset (usually worried) about another character and shaking them or hitting them or using some form of violence, and that's portrayed as acceptable and normal and as a sign of love. I'm not a fan of that.

"Annabeth likes to keep percy on his toes" this point, I want specific quotes, cause I'd like to go over it again. I agree this is funky. Percy says he feels more comfortable with annabeth and feels like he can talk to her blah blah, but yeah, I think I remember him saying she makes him anxious and that's a problem for me. Like genuinely, to anyone who reads this: if your SO makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous, or unsafe, please reevaluate your relationship and be safe. That's not good. And back to percabeth, I'm really not sure why RR would say that.

Bringing up abusive stepfather. If annabeth didn't already know about Gabe...I don't know, that says to me that percy was too traumatized to talk about it, in which case, why can annabeth see it in his actions, his comments, his reactions? I don't know that either. But I do know that having met my fair share of traumatized kids, it's not at all uncommon for them to share trauma as a joke and for multiple kids to laugh it off, not to mention suicidal jokes or jokes about their own abuse. Now I want to be clear, I'm not saying that's healthy, I think that's bad, but I also think it's common. And if annabeth doesn't realize what he's really talking about, or is caught up in her own experience, or is uncomfortable, laughing is not an uncommon response. And I don't think that makes their relationship toxic. (And I'm saying it again: I think Rick wrote that so that people could say oh poor percy and feel strongly about how horrible the situation is, but he didn't want to get into the trauma, so by annabeth laughing it off, he can move on with the scene but include little details that show how bad tartarus is)

I don't remember any comments about poseiden, but I agree her interactions with Tyson are problematic. I have zero explanation or excuse, I really don't know what rick was thinking with that, unless it was maybe a way to signify how all halfbloods feel about monsters? (Now that I've said that, that kinda makes sense, if percy sees a monster who was his human friend, but everyone else just sees a monster who is just like the other monsters who have killed their siblings. But still. Annabeth saying he was gross was uncalled for, Rick could have said she was scared or concerned this was a trick or something, but disgust?)

I agree about Percy's unresolved trauma manifesting as fear of annabeth. I already commented on the judo flip, see comments above.

Percy absolutely has horrible self asteem. I'm not sure that's annabeths problem. Yeah she should support him in every way she can, but it's not her responsibility or anyone else's to make him feel better about himself. She should want to, and she should be positive and encouraging, but I don't think Percy's lack of growth is her problem or necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship. It can be, but I'm not certain it is in this case. I think, as I'm sure you know if you've read this much, Rick doesn't know how to write characters who are further along in their trauma- processing, healing, discussing- rick fails to deal with anything besides a currently traumatized kid and a unresolved but out of the directly abusive situation. (This is where I'd like to note, the whole seaweed brain thing, not funny to me, not cute. I'm not a fan because I do think that encourages negative self image. I am aware that that could be link to annabeths childhood, but again, I would expect her to be hyperaware of this sort of emotional abuse. And I blame Rick. Why does she never have her actual abuse mentioned?)

I don't recall annabeth pushing percy to choose between them. I would have said she had doubts about him still wanting to go to CA and he said that he regretted not being there for Estelle but didn't want to be without annabeth (which is kinda cute, kinda codependent to me, and I agree, codependency is not cute)

I would argue the last point "Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or University" is clearly false. In SoN (2nd book of HOO) Percy discovers there are full families living in New Rome, and how it's safe there, and he says multiple times that he wants that, how he remembers he had a girlfriend named annabeth and he wants her to be there and wants to be able to settle down *there*. And in ChaliceotG he's torn, because he does want to stay in New York for his mom and sister, but he really wants to be with annabeth and he loves new Rome. He says multiple times how he wants to go to New Rome. Its true, if the only reason he wants to go is for annabeth, that's a bit funky. But new Rome is the safest place for demigods, and he's been in wars for years, of course he wants that. And wanting to be out of school- okay? New Rome isn't just about the university, not to mention the New Rome university is focused on kids with dyslexia and adhd, obviously. So it will be tailored to him, his struggles are understood, accepted, and aided. Who wouldn't see the appeal in that?

And finally, I agree, that if a character or couple is going to have broad reach, they should be healthy. That's a problem i have with Colleen hoover and all her toxic relationships that have a large audience and are so loved by that audience. And back to this, I hate that the pjo hoo couples are so focused on in the books because fans always pay attention to the couples, but the focus amplifies them, and I think having a relationship be the main focus of a kids/teen/ya book sets up horrible mindsets, and idolizes relationships and all in all is not good for kids. Percabeth or not, healthy or not, I don't think the emphasis on relationships is good.

I might link some of my other posts that I mentioned or that address similar issues in the reblogs

[boywifesammy]

spn fic rect fest - 9

AUGUST 31 - all time favourites

we’re here, the big fest finale !! i tried to keep this list short but alas it got out of hand... pls go read them because they’re all wonderful and be sure to give the authors your thanks and kind words :) as before, i've tagged authors that have their tumblr public on their ao3. if you'd like me to remove the @, just lmk. @spnficrecfest for more info on the event.

dead dove & sensitive topics under the cut. TWs are given where necessary.

Touch Me Like a Razor Blade by ADeedWithoutaName (@a-deed-without-a-name) Sam/Dean, 18k, E [underage]

"For as long as he can remember, sins have caused Dean physical pain." in my mind this fic is in the golden hall of wincest fame. the idea of materializing dean's guilt is SO CRAZY and ingenious given he is THEE guilt character. especially in a story about the taboo of incest. dean's internal struggle in most wincest fics is already so delicious and painful but to make it a physical sensation that he is constantly aware of puts this perfect bow on him as a character. also because sam DOESN'T KNOW until so late into the story. are you kidding. also an actually GOOD example of bdsm!! a masterpiece, go read it and show the author allll the love!!

The Road Rhythm Outro by brokenlittleboy Sam/Dean, 50k, E [violence]

"A routine hunt goes horribly wrong. A curtain fic dealing with permanent injury, angst, and various types of trauma, and fluffy domesticity." this is my favourite permanent injury fic! the author clearly researched a lot to make it accurate and that makes it hit so much harder. there's not only the initial grief and pain, but also the recovery journey, and a thorough exploration of sam's struggle after his injury and how it effects his relationship with dean.

The voicemail by tattooalecki Sam/Dean, 3k, E [noncon]

Sam masturbates to the infamous S5 voicemail. #1 for hottest samdean smut fic. PLUS a voicemail fix-it! this particular niche of humiliation kink is my fav and i haven't found any other piece of writing that does it quite so well. it's hot and captivating while still feeling in-character. if this sounds like your thing as well then definitely check this out because it's insanely good!

snuff by chinablue (@mpregjohnwinchester) Dean/John, Sam/Dean, 5k, E [underage]

"There's nothing good on TV, and Sam's contemplating killing his father again." i had to control myself from putting all of china's fics on this list. she is SUCH an amazing writer and the way she writes johndean is my absolute favourite in the fandom. this fic manages such a delicious balance between hot, violent, possessive and horrific. i don't know how she does it! @-@

Tethered to You by lily rose/annabeth Sam/Dean, 32k, E [TW necro, violence, major char death, noncon]

"Sam wants Dean, but he'd like him even better dead." yes, this is necrophilia smut. BUT- it's also a character study and an insanely interesting look into the psychology of paraphilias. i firmly believe sam would be into something weird given the way he grew up, and the author really displays that in an accurate way. 10/10 most tasteful necrophilia i have ever consumed.

the one percent by deadlybride (@zmediaoutlet) Sam/Dean, 9k, E

Dean finds out that Sam's too big for most condoms. my fav take on the bigdick!Sam fanon. there is something soo hot about a guy being too big to be contained... it rolls perfectly into sam's gentle giant thing where he's sooo big and powerful yet quiet and unassuming. also sizequeen!Dean. whats not to love.

Brittle by thecapn Sam/Dean, Sam/Jess, 30k, E [TW ED]

"Sam Winchester has an eating disorder." so- i couldn't reread this fic when i was putting together this list. not because it's bad but because it is so beautifully written, raw and accurate that i couldn't read it again because it got me worked up. it's really that good. the ending manages to be positive without feeling preachy, and at the same time has that lingering pain of how difficult recovery is. massive tw for eds obviously, but if you can stomach the content then this is a must-read fic.

I have to live here by Goshen/applecrumbledore (@goshen-applecrumbledore) Sam/Dean, 30k, E

An angel erases Dean's memories, but only the ones about his relationship with Sam. silly amnesia fic from the one and only applecrumbledore. there's some angst as well where we get to see sam's grief over losing his relationship with dean and dean working through all the roadblocks they had to overcome to finally get together. as always the characterization is perfect and the writing is so engaging and witty.

Lima Syndrome by guestwho (@guestwho) Sam/Dean, 20k, E

Sam has extensive facial scarring from the fire. John locks him away, and Dean is as usual, not normal about him. holy SHIT i cannot rave enough about this story. it's one of those fics where you read it and wish there was more or an actual book about it because the author's writing is so compelling. it's an interesting take on the whole sam/dean codependency thing with an angle that's less supernatural focused. also freak!sam in this is sooo captivating and the smut gave me shivers, just go read it, i promise you won't be disappointed!!

hello by allwellandgood Sam/Dean, 4k, T [major chara death]

Dean's dead but his ghost lingers. Sam struggles to reach out to him. this is such a depressing but hopeful fic. it broke my heart the first time i read it, especially considering how dean dies in the finale. in my mind if dean ever died he would refuse to pass on and stay with sam just like in this fic.

With A Bit Of Spit And Luck by elsi/Prince_of_Elsinore (@prince-of-elsinore) Sam/Dean, 7k, E [underage]

"Teenage boys cooped up in a cabin in the dead of winter with nothing but each other and an ancient porno on VHS to keep them warm." weecest smut extravaganza. i loveeee the trope of dean being sam's sexual awakening. the idea of them in a little cabin together while dean shows sam scratchy low quality porn is amazing and the execution of it in this fic is perfect.

lay my bones beside his bones by adastreia Sam/Dean, John/Dean, 6k, E [TW CSA]

Dean has a rape fantasy. Sam indulges him, and things come to light. a perfect mixture of smut and hurt/comfort. i also love how sam & dean's hell trauma is integrated into the johndean CSA. the scene where dean says 'dad'- i genuinely felt my stomach drop. haven't had a reaction like that from fanfic in a LONG time !! very well-written.

[pinkblahaj]

rick riordan's female characters pt 1: annabeth

this year i reread pjo and hoo for the first time since finishing the series five years ago, and i now understand the (somewhat?) common opinion that the way he wrote female characters was definitely flawed in some ways. although, i don't completely agree with all the criticisms, and i still love the majority of his characters. because i have so many thoughts on annabeth, i'll make this post just about her and discuss other characters later.

i'm certainly not one of those avid annabeth haters, but i do think there are valid reasons to not like her- I think there are valid reasons to not like any character. for me, there are moments where she is a bit too arrogant or mean. but i don't think she should have been written with an entirely different personality either- it makes sense why she is the way she is, and all the characters are flawed in their own ways, which is what makes them relatable. i just don't relate to annabeth like i do to the characters i like more.

i see how some ppl dislike the dynamic between percy and annabeth, but i feel like a lot of those issues are just a product of their time. the judo-flipping scene in mark of athena has been made to be way bigger of a deal than it is. it was not annabeth "abusing" percy- it's more akin to play wrestling. but... i do agree that moments like this would be clearly unacceptable if annabeth were a boy (which, i know, those "if the roles were reversed" type discussions sometimes are used to weaponize the suffering of men in order to diminsh women's issues, and i am not trying to do that here). it unfortunately does make sense when you think about the whole anti-femininity trend that used to be so common, and existed in rick's books as well (ex: aphrodite's children). annabeth is supposed to be tough and scary, not soft and weak. but we should also keep in mind that every relationship's boundaries our different- annabeth might joke about percy being dumb, but it's obvious that doesn't bother him and he likes the nickname "seaweed brain".

annabeth's treatment of rachel in botl seems to be a dividing topic, and i can see both sides. i honestly was quite bothered by it when i reread botl, and i find it strange that some ppl will hate on percy on this book while not criticizing annabeth. but honestly that's probably because i'm a sensitive person. some ppl find it funny, which is probably how it was supposed to come across. it was probably just as obvious to rachel as it was to us readers that annabeth was only being mean out of her fear of losing percy... and rachel did indeed like percy. but i do wish that we would've seen someone call her out or see her apologize, and while her abandonment issues are an explanation for her behavior, they are not an excuse. but again, it's safe to assume that rachel was not that affected by it, and being a teenager who is rude to someone bc they like the same guy as you is not the worst thing a person can do. (i do think it's interesting how this situation is brought up more frequently than leo bullying frank, which actually did hurt frank.)

contrary to what i've seen other ppl say, i actually really liked annabeth in heroes of olympus. i thought her povs were great, and i loved to see her interact with the new characters, especially piper. i also found her more likable (ik some think she was too perfect, but i loved seeing her as a competent leader). the scene with frank and the finger trap was so cute and because i love and relate to frank, i will forever appreciate her for that. however she was def underutilized- outsmarting arachne by attacking her pride made sense because of arachne's backstory, but that strategy became overused (the way she defeated nyx was kind of ridiculous). and of course, who doesn't love the percabeth scenes- sure they were obsessed with each other, but that makes sense. they just met the rest of the seven, ofc they're not going to care about their new friends to the extend that they do for each other (side note: i don't disagree that seven felt like "co-workers", but i don't see a problem with it either).

leah was a perfect choice for the tv show adaptation. i honestly could not care less that she's not blonde and white. yes, the acting could be a bit better, but they're young and i've seen worse acting from older actors. what i do have an issue with is how annabeth was written in the show. i feel like the writers read that she's the brains of the group and she's serious and forgot that she's also a twelve year old girl. annabeth is a great character because she is strong, smart and skilled, but still flawed, realistic and relatable. i wish the show delved into other parts of her character, such as her love for architecture, the scene with the spiders, and her relationship with luke- this last one especially is such an important part they missed out on, because it's a huge source of her vulnerability in the books. i'm completely fine with them cutting out her crush on him, but the fact that she looks up to him and sees him as family is so central to why she can't accept that he's betrayed her. her believing that there is still good left in luke is also key to how they defeat kronos with luke's help. show luke says that annabeth is like his little sister, but without us actually seeing this relationship, it's going to be hard to understand in later seasons why annabeth defends him.

overall, annabeth is a great character and deserving of her popularity, but i don't think that if you dislike her you hate complex female characters. while she's not my favorite, i see her as a testament to both rick's ability to write good female characters and some of his shortcomings in this area.

[punkeropercyjackson]

This is a bit of an old post of yours but I saw @/thisismisogynoir reblog it and i just wanted to say: your post about ppl being way too comfortable associating underaged characters with sexual stuff put what i've been thinking for the longest time into words. That stuff genuinely makes me SO uncomfortable yet almost no one around me understands. Its so disgusting how often underage characters are sexualized in fandom spaces and the worst part is, it starts with grown ass pedo adults doing it then it SPREADS to most of the KIDS in the fandom who then see that behavior as normal!!

It's particularly sickening for me since i come from a culture where "childhood" lasts alot longer, like 21 year olds are still considered kids and still at the age to be pampered and cared for by their parents so you can imagine my horror when I got into fandom spaces and saw people justifying making NSFW content of 16 YEAR OLDS. I once literally got called SENSITIVE in an Instagram comments section by other PJO fans for saying that it's creepy to make sex jokes about Percy and Annabeth, and they said I was overreacting bc "they're almost adults anyway, real teens have sex at this age"...... Like just because irl teens do doesnt mean you should be encouraging that and normalizing it!!

Hi Nina!!!Thanks for the ask,i agree so much and you've given me the perfect opportunity to tqlk about a similar phenomenon re the sexualization of characters who're minors

So in current canon Pjo,Percy and Annabeth are not 'almost adults',they just ARE adults as their latest apperance in the timeline has them at 18 with confirmation from Rick.Yet fans choose to make these jokes about them as minors even though that book has been out for 4 years.Much like this,Spiderman fans do sm*t of Mcu Peter and Spiderverse Gwen even though in the comics which have way more material they are adults.This also applies to Naruto,Bleach,Toh,Httyd,Atla and other media that have the protagonists start out as kids but grow up either as the story goes along or in an epilogue

If you have the option between sexualizing an adult version of character and an underaged version of the character that're both presented as equally canon and you choose the latter,you are a pedophile.Full point blank.That's the definition of pedophillia.You saw a grown up and a kid and found the kid more attractive.There's no excuse for that.There's no reason for an adult to want to see a child in sexual situations over another adult in sexual situations.You've made a disgusting choice so people have a right to call the pedo a pedo

(Also:You are NOT sensitive.You just have a backbone and care about minors being safe and the fact that they pulled that over a CHILDREN'S BOOK SERIES is insane.A Pjo fan once told me 'legit thought you were 12' in an argument because i said Percy is an anarchist and instigator and activist punk and not a skater boy at all and actually transfem,as if Percy dosen't start out at 12 because that's starting age the series is for.Pjo fans gain self-awareness and also employement challenge)

[kanene-yaaay]

Bonds, Friendship and other strange things that are affected by it

Kanene’s notes: It’s been! A long time!! What a hello! :D Uhhhh, tbh, I am not sure when this is going to be posted because I haven’t finished writing the ending yet but at the same time I can’t think of an ending for it so dfgthyujuhygtffg let’s see which part of me will win when this comes out xD

(Edit: So, I came here to post it unfinished but !!! a suden lighting of inspiration striked me so!! dfhyujikjh yay! another fic! lets gooo)

Warnings: None. Around 1000 words of Lee!Percy and Ler!Grover because those two are incredibly fun and cool to be around and think about.

[~*~]

Grover cared about Percy. He really did. Of course. No one would create a bond that can possibily cost your life with someone that you didn’t trust as if the own Destiny had intertwined your existences to follow each other at the hardest times. Especially if that other person was a half-blood that was more into fights, problems and almost-death situations than most teenagers could admit.

So, yes, he loved Percy. He was his friend. His best friend. And maybe a brother, but this title was already well placed in Tyson and he was not about to fight a three foot tall cyclop for it. He had enough fighting and marrying cyclops for his life. Thank you very much.

Anyway. Love and Care. Yeah.

But this was starting to get ridiculous.

Happiness and joy exploded in his chest like fireworks being set off just under his skin, leaving his entire body with a buzzing, kind of tickly feeling running just about everywhere.

"My gods, Percy, I am not even touching you!!" He had to almost physically bite the giggles that threatened to spill from his throat.

Percy wasn't so lucky. His face was already beginning to be tainted with red by both the unstoppable onslaught of titters and snickers and the embarrassment of Grover being absolutely right.

"Shut up, shut up. You're so stupid, this is so stuhuhupid!"

"Really?" Grover rested his hands on the other's sides and almost jumped in surprise with the phantom feeling of ticklish shock that made his body want to curl in a ball of protection.

It was no surprise when the younger began kicking and crackling even before Grover squeezed the tickle spot as if his life depended on it.

"Pehercy! There is no way someone can be that ticklish!"

“Shuhut it!”

And that was the thing: Percy was actually NOT that ticklish. He swear that he wasn’t! If he crumbled just with the slightly hint of wiggly fingers and a couple of squeezes, Annabeth would have destroyed him on all their playful debates for now. Damn, if he was that sensitive, he wouldn't have survived his own childhood with a mother that was as sweet and as lovely as merciless during an attempt to cheer her son up.

But he couldn’t articulate this. Not when that dumb bond could make him feel not only his own butterflies flying and dancing crazy on his stomach, but also that sunny feeling of a playful joy that he was sure that came from Grover's pride making the Son of Poseidon, who survived two gigantic wars and another countless life-threatening fights, die with just some digging on his ribcage and oh, shit he was getting higher, nononono-

"Stohohohop!!" He arched his back, hands holding Grover's wrists but too much weak to push the scribbling fingers that were focusing too much in that awful space between each rib to be fair away. He was sure the entire world could hear the way his laughter got higher and louder even before Grover decided to close his hands in fists and drill his knuckles on the skin. 

For a moment Percy almost regreted embarassing his friend in front of Juniper, but the feeling almost as quick as it was gone. 

"I hahahahate this. I hate this so much!"

Grover didn't even falter for a second, barely stopping to acknowledge the happy warmth - like watching the sunrise in the beach with your favorite people around you - that definitely wasn't only his taking over his senses before answering. "Yes, Percy, of course you do. Just like fishes hate water, but you do."

"I'm serious!"

"I am literally agreeing with you, dude."

"No, you're not!"

"Now you're just making stuff up."

And before Percy could protest more Grover decide to finally end the other's suffering and worm his way to the armpits with ease pratice, barely fliching at the honest-to-the-gods scream that came out from his friend's mouth before he fell in silent laughter, his entire body shaking with every giggle and hands twitching between hiding his face every time another snort was fished from his throat or keep trying (and failing) in pry the offending fingers from their unfair, drilling attack on the ticklish pits.

A faintly sound of leaves moving was the only warning that they weren’t alone anymore. Grover smiled even before the so known amused voice called their attention.

"Oh, it's you. I thought the Stymphalian birds were back for revenge. Hi, seaweed brain."

“Hey, Annabeth!”

With all the noise, Grover was surprised Annabeth took as long as she did to appear.

Percy seemed to think otherwise.

"No!" Suddenly his efforts to escape got 10 times worse, which, since he really wasn't trying to truly get away from the very beginning, made it see like Grover was fighting against an old lazy chihuahua. "How did you find us!"

"Did he interrupt your date again?"

At the reminder, Grover fred the rest of his fingers to claw at Percy's belly - right above his bellybutton, wehere were storaged the best collection of snorts and shrieks, while his thumbs were still drumming on his armpits.

"Yes." He had to shout above the other's high pitched laughter. "And it's Kill Percy Thursday!"

“How could I forget?” The blonde started cracking her fingers, making bubbly excitment run so quickly and strongly in his senses that Grover had to stop the tickling to snicker, instinctively fliching away. Annabeth eyed both of them with a glint of fondness and amusement that did nothing to hide the pure mischieviousness taking over her expressions. “By the way, I think I am owned some revenge since someone decided to prank me with those fake books last week.”

“It was good knowing you, dude.”

Joy and warmth and pride and care chasing each other in his chest while he tried to keep the daughter of Athena away from his tickle spots with no sucess.

The things he had to put up with because of his friends, really.

[valewritessss]

I’ve noticed the people in the pjo fandom are way too sensitive. Especially when people mention Percy. If you’re not praising him in every sentence you talk about him they’ll hate you. Not so much on this app but in other sites like TikTok and shit you can’t even imply that he depends on other characters for some things without being torn apart.

I love Percy too, but I can admit he can’t do EVERYTHING alone, and by saying that I’m not putting him down in any way.

I’ve seen videos of people joking about him looking to Annabeth for guidance or him not being able to do it without some character, and the comments are always filled with people saying “omg he’s not stupid”, “I didn’t see them(other character) leading a whole army”, or “Annabeth was bedridden the whole time she was useless”, and it’s like no one said he was dumb??? If they think someone’s dumb for needing any sort of assistance that’s a personal issue that they should probably speak to a therapist about.

And yes, Percy led an army but he obviously didn’t do it completely alone, and that doesn’t make him any less. And the Annabeth bashing is always there idk people can’t stand to see women get something.

But my point is, this fandom is way too sensitive when people mention something not AMAZING about their favorite character. And this can be seen mostly through Percy. Now I’m gonna go tag this as NOT Percy hate because the people I’m talking about will probably take this the wrong way lol

[lilislegacy]

It kind feels this fandom babys Percy and forget everyones been through things even Annabeth. She gets treated like shes the cause of some of his pain and therefore they shouldnt be together? When the guy would be depressed without her.

warning: i’m about to thought vomit. a lot.

RIGHT?? i try not to talk about it, but sometimes the way the fandom mischaracterizes and misunderstands percy really bothers me. the fact of the matter is: a lot of people want percy to be someone he’s not. and don’t get me wrong, i love that people have their own headcanons, but percy would hate the way people portray him in the fandom. and yes, it annoys me how people villainize annabeth in the meantime. they make him out to be this sensitive little guy and her this super mean toxic girl. when in reality they are complete equals. which is… the whole point.

percy has his insecurities, and he is super sarcastic and silly (largely in his head), but he’s a super strong and badass guy. he’s canonically very tough and intimidating. he has real human feelings, has big mood swings, and even gets emotional at some times (usually with his dad), but he’s not a sensitive guy, by any means. this is the same dude who’s been kicked out of every school, including military schools. he’s dealt with bullies and monsters and villains his whole life. he doesn’t get hurt or offended easily. and annabeth has been through just as much shit. it’s different, but it not “more” or “less” than he’s been through. and for some reason people don’t like this, but annabeth is the sensitive one in the relationship. she cries easily, she gets offended more easily, she feels and shows her emotions a lot more than percy. and that does not make her weak. and it’s the truth. so when people make her out to be this cold toxic person, who hurts little poor sensitive percy, it’s frustrating. it’s so wrong. they are both extremely strong. annabeth is percy’s biggest source of joy and comfort. she does not abuse him or degrade him.

no, their relationship is not perfect. neither of them are perfect. annabeth can be too prideful, and can tend to feel superior to others, but it’s just because she’s so intelligent. she’s aware of it and she actively works on it. in COTG, percy said whenever she gets excited about her day at school or proud of her accomplishments, she stops herself and asks about him instead. she knows she can be prideful, and wants to make sure percy knows she values and respects him. and percy, along with being impulsive, can be very insensitive. yes, it’s true. he is very loyal, but that doesn’t mean he’s always sensitive and considerate of people’s feelings. we see it so much, especially in battle of the labyrinth when he was an asshole to annabeth. some of it is because he can be very oblivious (no, not dumb), but some is just because of who he is. but he’s aware of it and actively works on it. like when he gave nico that big apology in heroes of olympus, and apologized to leo about calypso.

they are not perfect, because they are real. but they build each other up and love each other unconditionally. percy does not need people to protect him from annabeth. annabeth protects him more than anyone else. she takes care of him - physically and emotionally. and he does the same for her. they’ve been through a lot of crap, and they both help each other through it. they are partners. they are equals. neither are weak, and neither are toxic.

[tubbypeddle]

hihi, could i get a matchup for percy jackson? thank you!

despite my age, i’m rather short at 5’1, with tanned skin and dark hair. my hair is also cut short at just above my shoulders. i present as female, and often use makeup such as eyeliner.

my fashion preferences skew toward the goth side— black, skirts, gloves, the like. metallic accessories are a major piece in my outfits, and i enjoy giving fashion advice when my friends ask for it.

my label on my sexuality is…weird. i don’t particularly mind my partner’s gender, but i find that I only feel attraction toward people who like me first, if that makes sense. i don’t know if there’s a specific label, but i do find it odd.

now, personality…it’s all over the place, matching whoever i am with. when i’m alone and with people i don’t know, i essentially don’t speak, just watching others awkwardly before i’m invited to the conversation. a lot of people have called me ��weird’ in the past, but i don’t mind it anymore. anything can steal my attention away, and i find myself watching the most mundane things. even an ant on the wall can distract me from my work.

work, work…ugh. i view myself as a somewhat lazy person if I’m uninterested in the task, though it may just be my ADHD. while i do take advanced classes in my schooling, anything that doesn’t immediately pique my interest is a hard no.

one of my hobbies is collecting, with cards being my main focus. pretty rocks and crystals are also enjoyed, though they’re mainly to be admired and put on a shelf. other things I’ve picked up are extremely old coins, pretty stained glass, and shells. i get extremely excited upon receiving any, to a near unreasonable extent. this maybe be a problem with my disorganization…

fears…another stupid thing. i can take collapsing in the middle of summer and walking the halls late at night, but any criticism from my parents has me shutting down and on the verge of tears. they aren’t even particularly mean, but i’m particularly sensitive to their words. my second, more mild fear are insects— spiders. i’ve been trying to use ‘exposure therapy’ on myself by getting close to them and poking the web, but it doesn’t feel like a good decision.

with how successful i can be in academics, it’s laughable how unathletic i am. i do run and get an average amount of exercise, but any heavy lifting has me struggling. those close to me in life have previously expressed concern over me being slightly underweight, but it doesn’t bother me too much. i can get up on my two feet and any pity towards me is absolute infuriating. guns seem to be more fun as a weapon, anyway.

I have a hard time expressing my affections outside of quality time and just…talking. gift-giving is also easier for me, just wrapping up a nice little crystal or other trinket to give feels nice, and easier than putting my emotions into words. in private, i can get all over a significant other— hugging, cuddling, any physical contact can help me express my feelings.

Hello!! Another PJO matchup request!!

(You’re an Athena kid, aren’t you? /lh)

I love these, they’re so cute and instill me with so much nostalgia. Mostly because i read the books rather than watched the series. (I started it, but its really hard for me to retain attention LOL)

Anywho! Let’s get into this!

You’ve been a camper at Camp Half-Blood for years, and still, it was difficult for you to feel comfortable around anybody. Even the people who were supposed to be your brothers and sisters.

Not until it was one day when three newbies arrived to camp.

He talks enough for the both of you.

Leo Valdez

As soon as he meets you, he claims it’s love at first sight. (Though, he’s a little girl crazy, he claims every girl who looks at him first is love at first sight)

He thinks you’re so pretty, and so sweet and quiet. (At first). He attaches himself to you immediately. With Drew attaching herself to Jason, and Annabeth to Piper, he feels a little left out. Even though Will was assigned to be his little tour guide, he asked that you accompany them.

After that, he kind of just hangs around you a lot.

At least, as much as he can before his quest with Jason and Piper.

After that quest is over, he clings to you like a lost puppy. He claims it’s because Piper and Jason’s lovey doveyness was sickening. That he needed to have someone like that, too.

Before either of you really get together, he’s got that dorky kind of crush on you.

You know, the one. The cute one.

He learns all of your favorite things, and learns them so he can do them with you. He really wants to show off, but he’s maybe not so good at it.

He collects little rocks and trinkets for you. He’ll find whatever cards you’re into and gift them to you, “free of charge” he says. He really just like seeing you light up like the sun every time he finds one you don’t have yet. (It’s really hard, but he’s trying.)

He’s surprised to find that the two of you are a lot more similar than he expected. The ADHD, and the RSD, and the talking a mile a minute. As soon as you trust him enough to start yapping, it’s all the two of you ever do. There’s rarely a moment where the two of you are alone.

Your feelings for him feel like they come out of nowhere. Perhaps it was when he gifted you his first card. Or maybe when he broke cabin rules to sit by you during meal times. Or, perhaps, it was when he came back from his quest to save Hera, and he was immediately looking for you. He ignored the on-field medics, he ignored Piper and Jason asking him where he was going.

He was immediately going to your cabin to give you a big hug.

If you ask him to be your boyfriend (because you might have to, he’s terrified of rejection, but he’s made it wildly clear that he’s madly in love with you) I promise he’s the most fun, and the dorkiest boyfriend you’ll ever have.

He’s attentive without meaning to be. He notices things you like, and even enjoys learning abut them just so he’ll have more of an excuse to talk to you. (As I’ve already said, but sh)

He even makes little things for you to collect, it’s become a tradition between the two of you. He makes small little things for you to admire and put on your shelves. Or even little things that might make your life easier. A card finder or something. A spider killer. I dunno. He just likes making you things, and likes seeing you using them or even displaying them next to your bunk in your cabin.

He loves the presents you give him, too! Trust that he keeps them in his infinite tool belt at all times. He loves having your gifts on him at all times.

One of your date nights (sneaking out of your cabins at night and meeting at the mess hall) was just making each other charm bracelets. He wears it always. If it keeps getting caught on things as he’s tinkering, he wears it on a chain around his neck that he keeps tucked into his shirt and out of the way.

He also loves holding you, and adores that you can do the same with him. He’s all for hugs and cuddles. He loves it, he just loves it.

Holding your hand while going around camp, sneaking kisses during Campfire. He adores sitting behind you at Campfire so he can just drape himself over you.

A touchy little feller, he is.

ALSO ALSO

He absolutely adores your fashion. He likes anything you wear, but he’s a big fan of the all black fits you got going on. He’s a big fan of the goth—ness. About you. He likes you a lot, so he likes whatever you’re wearing a lot. Even if the Camp uniform is a hideous orange tee. (He thinks you can pull it off)

Honorary mentions!

Jason Grace

(Obviously, this takes place in a world where he and Piper weren’t together, because I’m assuming you’re not a homewrecker). He lights you up in a different way. He’s softer with you, spoils you in any way you want. Perhaps your personality would change with him, even though I could see you with Leo better than Jason.

Wooo this one came out quicker than I thought it would. ANYWAY. Have fun with this!!!!!

[hyperfixation-fix]

Aight so.

Just reblogged a post that mentioned Nico canonically having depression (totally agree), but I wanted to talk about my other headcanons around Nico's mental health AND MORE IMPORTANTLY his recovery journey.

(AN IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm very wary of talking about headcanons involving mental illness, bc it can easily cross the line into romanticising mental illness. I grew up in that kind of online space, and it's toxic af and makes recovery almost impossible. So I want to emphasise, especially for younger fans who read this - Nico gets better, canonically and in my headcanons. So did I. So will you. It takes work, and often it's not a painless or pretty process, but it's so much better than letting yourself rot away in the dark. Romanticise being well, being happy, and getting better.)

In my head, Nico is autistic. But I think he's been so traumatised and so dissociated for so long that he doesn't even really realise how much things affect him, how much easier things could be if he gave himself permission to be the way he is.

FOR EXAMPLE. I think he is specifically very sensory-sensitive, but he's so disconnected from his body and brain that he doesn't really realise it. He just always feels Bad™️ and has never been safe enough to figure out why. So then, once he gets comfortable at CHB and really starts to finally feel safe and present, he starts to slowly untangle things bit by bit. Will is a big part of this - he's very intuitive and notices stress queues in Nico before Nico even realises he's stressed.

It starts off with Will noticing Nico avoiding crowds, which isn't necessarily weird for a kid who spent the last several years with ghosts, but then he realises it's not actually the people that bother him. It's the noise. Like, Nico avoids the Apollo Cabin as much as possible, even when it's completely empty except for Will, bc it's constantly got music playing a little too loud. Nico doesn't even really know why he doesn't like it and doesn't really bother thinking much about it, but Will is like "huh that's interesting". And, as he gets closer with Nico, that pattern becomes more and more apparent - in noisy places, Nico becomes tense and guarded, but in quiet places he's more relaxed. Then Will notices Nico's sensitivity to textures. Some clothes are consistently "grumpy Nico clothes" and some are "happy Nico clothes".

Will decides to run little experiments, making subtle changes around Nico and taking note of Nico's reaction. For example, suggesting Nico change clothes before a date because "I like the black jeans better" ie "the black jeans are a softer denim and stiff denim makes you grumpy". Or swapping out Nico's sheets bc "whoops my bad, I was practicing wound cleaning and spilled supplies all over them! But don't worry, I've replaced them with a new set so it's all good," ie "your sheets were cheapass 100% cotton and rough af and that's why you haven't had a good night's sleep like, ever, so here's a high-quality satin (or whatever, idk fabrics) set that probably won't bother you as much." And lo and behold, Nico sleeps like a baby every night after that. Or orchestrating a whole plan to get Nico into the Apollo Cabin when it's quiet (music gets turned low, siblings are threatened with weeks of dish duty if they don't keep it down), and seeing if he's less on edge. AND HE IS.

And eventually Nico picks up on Will's increasingly elaborate accommodation experiments (Will is simply having way too much fun at this point - he feels super sneaky, finds it hilarious that Nico still isn't noticing, and also just loves seeing Nico less stressed out) and is like "Solace I know you're up to something, out with it or else." And at that point Will is like "ok bet" and pulls out a fucking spreadsheet (Annabeth taught him how to use excel (yeh I know demigods don't vibe with tech but this is my headcannon so deal with it) with great joy and little-to-no interest in why he actually wanted to learn) with a bunch of Nico's triggers and sensitivities and the success rates of different accommodations. Nico is like "I'm actually going to kill you, you've been fucking with my brain for months????" but is barely containing how curious he is and how sweet he actually finds it that Will has thought so much about how to make Nico happy. But Will knows, especially when Nico, even while grumbling, takes the spreadsheet with him.

The next day Will presents Nico with a present he was saving for the final big-reveal: some loop earplugs or something similar. Discrete and practical 😌 Will just leaves them next to Nico's bed with a cute lil sticky note that says "Before you orchestrate my untimely demise as promised, give these a go. Consider it the last request of a dead man walking ;) love you Neeks x".

And that's that. The earplugs make a massive difference, much to Nico's surprise and Will's smug satisfaction, and from then on Nico starts to reconnect with himself and gets better and better at recognising things that make him more comfortable, and using them. Will considers his experiment over (a resounding success, of course), but is unwaveringly supportive and helpful as Nico figures stuff out.

Lol that became very long sorry, but it made me happy to write it out hehehe

[https-lawrenceslittleone]

What my OCs are like as regressors!!!

This is mainly for one of my friends. This isn’t all of my OCs, but the main ones I use and have developed. TW for cussing and mentions of trauma. :]

Theodosia Collymor:

-Bottles that shit up most of the time. If she isn’t like on the verge of a breakdown and NEEDS to regress, then she’ll try to just push it away.

-It’s usually involuntary. Triggered by PTSD episodes or just generally strong emotions; including positive ones. Talk about the regency era or classical Greece with her for too long and she’ll get so excited she’ll start regressing. And she gets really, REALLY embarrassed because of it.

-Not very clingy, can take care of herself (usually) if needed. Regresses to around 5-6.

-Is usually the one to breakup arguments between Floraline and Zaria whenever they have play dates together. Floraline and Zaria love each other but they argue every five seconds when they’re regressed about the smallest things. Theodosia reality checks them and will straight up go “guys this is really stupid can we go back to roleplaying like we’re in the Trojan war now please” and it works!

-To preoccupy herself when she’s little, she’ll practice setting. She’ll throw a volleyball at a wall back and forth and practice setting it.

-Gets especially shy around Jason if she ever regresses around him. And later on, post-ToA, when Floraline moves into the Waystation with Leo, develops a crush on Lityerses and gets shy around him too. Floraline and Theodosia have play dates at the Waystation whenever Theodosia comes to visit, so she sees him quite a bit. It’s always embarrassing for her.

Floraline Sampson:

-Very curious about everything! Very hands on, likes to go into the forest and touch everything she sees. Which has lead to some unfortunate incidents, including various scratches and rashes. Which always leads to tears.

-Sensitive, especially to pain. She gets any type of scratch or anything like that and she’ll start bawling her eyes out. Zaria told her to suck it up one time and Flora pushed her. Which lead to more crying from both parties. Theodosia got overwhelmed and also ended up crying because she didn’t know what to do.

-Regresses to about three to four usually. But can be much younger. If she’s really stressed, she can go as little as one.

-Gets shy around Leo most of the time. Will shyly hand him flowers and pictures she drew before running away.

-When Frank and Hazel were her caregivers, she would always get piggyback rides from Frank, and Hazel would braid her hair.

-Very unintentionally messy and feels bad about it. Will get dirt on new clothes and start crying because of it.

-EXTREMELY clingy and reliant, requires constant supervision when she’s little. If she’s alone, she starts spiraling really bad because of her BPD. HATES being alone with a passion. Refuses to go anywhere without Leo.

-The type of kid to get upset when other kids don’t wanna share. She’ll be like “you can play with my dolls!!” and when someone says they don’t want to she’ll go “what… 😠”

-Gets distracted by anything and everything. She loves going outside and her and Leo could be on a hike or something and she’d run off the trail because she saw a pretty butterfly.

-She spends a lot of time and energy outside so as soon as she gets back inside, she usually crashes. She is DONE.

Zaria Asghar:

-Before she got with Percy and Annabeth, when she regressed, she’d just run off into the wilderness. Like she’d be gone for hours at a time and would tell no one.

-Now, she drags them with her. Or at least one of them with her. Will pick up random animals and show them to Percy and Annabeth.

-Type of kid to pick up a random snake and be confused when other kids are freaked out.

-Her age regression is both voluntary AND involuntary. She does it when she’s bored. But it can also be triggered by extreme stress.

-Likes to take Floraline and Theodosia into the woods. Sometimes forgets that they’re not immune to poisonous plants like her. Once ate an extremely toxic mushroom in front of Floraline, and Floraline almost did the same before Theodosia stopped her. (I feel like these two would NOT be alive without Theodosia…)

-Gets scratches and bruises ALL the time. Doesn’t pay attention to her surroundings. But she does not give a fuck. She could be bleeding from multiple wounds at the same time and wouldn’t realize as long as she’s having fun.

-Annabeth has to disinfect a bunch of cuts every time they go outside.

-CLINGY!!! But not in the dependent way, just really likes affection. Will constantly make grabby hands at Percy for him to pick her up, and will randomly come up to Annabeth and hug her.

-Age range varies quite a bit. Usually around four, but can be six. Also can be like two. It seriously just depends on the day and her mood, so Annabeth and Percy ask how old she’s feeling every time. It’s usually around four, though.

-Her and Floraline have beef when they’re little for some reason. Not like serious beef they’re still best friends but. Floraline is super sensitive and they often have to end their play dates because Floraline got hurt and won’t stop crying and doesn’t wanna play anymore. And Zaria will be like “OMG SUCK IT UP IT IS NOT THAT SERIOUS SHHHH”

-Ball of energy. Climbs trees, does random cartwheels, HEAVILY fucks with playgrounds. ESPECIALLY enjoys playing “tag” with Celery (her pet lion). And tag with them is just Celery chasing and jumping on Zaria over and over again. He doesn’t fully tackle her because when he’s older, that would hurt her, so he gently just puts his paws on her stomach when he catches her.

Esmarie Sidney:

-She is a HANDFUL. Very sensitive. Doesn’t like getting dirty or playing outside. Requires constant attention or else she’ll throw a tantrum, but pretends she’s independent. The type to go “no! I can do it myself!” when asked if she needs help…and then ends up throwing a tantrum because she DOES need help.

-Usually regresses to about five years old. Also ashamed of her age regression because the Aphrodite cabin is kinda mean and taught her that she should be ashamed of it.

-Likes playing dress up. Like a lot. Sit there and let her put on a “fashion show” for you and she’ll be over the moon.

-BOSSY. Gets MAD if you’re not doing something right and often gets in trouble for her attitude. Has made other littles cry before. Especially Floraline and Belamira.

-Doesn’t have a set caregiver, but Theodosia takes care of her a lot. Theodosia can handle tantrums and is understanding.

-Pretty affectionate, but at random times. She’ll randomly come up to Theodosia and give her a big hug, but if Theodosia tries to hug her while she’s doing something else, she’ll pout and tell her to let go.

-Gets upset when Theodosia tells her she isn’t allowed to listen to Ayesha Erotica when she’s little. It’s a reasonable rule and she understands that it’s reasonable but she’ll throw a mini-fit anyway.

-Age regression is involuntary, and is usually triggered whenever her gender dysphoria gets worse. She’ll be looking in the mirror one moment and the next she’ll be bawling her eyes out wishing she was born a girl.

-Usually has play dates with Belamira, because Floraline is off with Leo doing her own thing, and she doesn’t know Zaria too well, despite being in a friend group with her.

-French accent gets worse when she’s little. Sometimes she’ll get so stressed, she’ll forget English and will just be bawling her eyes out and babbling in French. 😭

Belamira Marques:

-Shy. Very shy. And embarrassed. Constantly thinking about what other people think of her, but is trying to get over it.

-The only person she feels truly safe around is Grover. She does not want a babysitter. If Grover isn’t available and she’s regressed, she’d rather be by herself in her cabin than let someone else take care of her. She has bad paranoia and just doesn’t trust anybody else like that. Her age regression is very special and vulnerable to her, and she only wants Grover to take care of her when she’s like that.

-The littlest things make her embarrassed. She could trip and fall and would nearly die of embarrassment. Especially if it’s in front of Grover.

-Would do literally anything to make Grover proud of her. CONSTANTLY searching for his approval and praise.

-Very calm but simultaneously excited little??? Like she gets excited to show her caregiver stuff but isn’t prone to tantrums or outbursts. Can be told no without really getting upset.

-Clingy and affectionate, especially in public. Holds onto Grover for comfort a lot. And when she’s playing with Esmarie or Floraline or Zaria or really anybody, she needs Grover to be with her at all times or else she’ll get too anxious and want to leave. It’s not that she doesn’t trust her friends. She just has bad separation anxiety.

-Thinks about her grandmas strawberry farm back in Brazil a lot. She’s only been there a few times but she has a lot of her best childhood memories there and wants to go back. Just generally wants to go back to Brazil one day, even if it’s just to visit for a while.

-If she thinks about the fact that she’s a demigod and all the bullshit that comes with it for too long, she’ll start spiraling. Again, she has bad paranoia, and because of the fact she’s survived two wars, she’s almost constantly afraid that she’s in danger or her friends are in danger. Immediately assumes the worse whenever someone Iris-messages her.

Sione Fuamatu:

-Age regression is VERY involuntary, she does her absolute best to shove that shit away. Is extremely embarrassed and ashamed of it and is TERRIFIED of Octavian finding out.

-Doesn’t have any toys or little gear. When she’s little, it’s never a pleasant experience. She’ll sit in bed and bawl her eyes out until she eventually cries herself to sleep.

-She regresses VERY little, and it makes it SOOO much worse. It ranges, but it’s always very little. Around 0-3. Locks herself in her room when she’s regressed.

-She was adultified at a VERY young age. She was told that she was going to be put in an arranged marriage when she was VERY young, having grown up in a wealthy family in New Rome, and on top of that she was subject to very brutal and violent training. She never had time to actually be a kid. And she just kind of accepted it as her reality and never had issues with it. Until she got older and could actually understand her reality.

-When she’s little, she’s actually not at all how she used to be when she was an actual child. When she was young, she was very bratty, snapped easily, was mean to people for no reason. Now, she’s very quiet, and almost…empty, because she doesn’t allow herself to actually feel and process her own emotions.

-She’s in an arranged marriage with Octavian, but they’ve known each other since they were both very little, as their families are on good terms. Sione genuinely loves Octavian, and as he’s pretty much the only stability she has in her life, she’s very obsessive over him. She wishes she could tell him about her age regression, because she doesn’t. Because she knows him and how he is.

-She’s evil, and has committed many heinous crimes, but that’s all that she was taught. She was taught that the only thing that mattered was power, money, and status, and that she should do anything to get that.

-She’s very logical and analytical. If she was given the chance to heal and actually be little, she would HEAVILY fuck with puzzles. Or murder mystery games.

-She would also like to play pretend I think. She’d be the “queen” and would make everyone follow her orders.

-Snakes are her thing. She’d have a snake stuffie and she’d take it everywhere with her.

-Would probably like the Sims 4 a lot. She’d do one of two things: building a bunch of houses, or making a bunch of sims just to kill them off in various ways.

-If given the chance to actually be little, she’d be VERY clingy. And possessive. Would hold Octavian’s hand and glare at any girl who talks to him. Or even looks at him.

-Wants physical affection SOOO bad because she never got it as a kid. Her father just didn’t really care about her. Like at all.