#anita: sexy legs

[fromnewashes]

Maybe you shouldn't judge a person by their ellipses...

I like plenty of other body parts. Big fan of boobs! How about you?

If you say so. The ellipses in your original message had a kink-shamey vibe.

But, as long as you are agreeable to shaming the legs of men then I suppose you are okay in my book. What do you like, if not disembodied legs?

[diecastkid2000]

Anita Herbert

[worldofbeauties]

Anita

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Rita Moreno (Singin' in the Rain, West Side Story)—She’s an EGOT, an absolute legend for how she navigated her career as a woman of color in the fifties and sixties. Her performance as Anita in West Side Story is why I go back to that movie so many times. She is an icon and she is the moment.

Marlene Dietrich (Shanghai Express, Witness for the Prosecution, Morocco)—Bisexual icon, super hot when dressed both masculine and feminine, lived up her life in the queer Berlin scene of the 1920s, central to the 'sewing circle' of the secret sapphic actresses of Old Hollywood, refused lucrative offers by the Nazis and helped Jews and others under persecution to escape Nazi Germany, the love of my life

We are in the quarterfinals of the Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Propaganda is not my own and is on a submission basis. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Rita Moreno propaganda:

"Amazing showstopping actress in her one big memorable role as Anita in West Side Story. She sings and dances with unmatched joy and energy, and then breaks your heart with her acting. Rita took a role that felt as a stereotype to latina women and made it compelling and multifaceted. Her subsequent career was filled with mostly side roles, but she still managed to excel in whatever Hollywood threw at her."

"It’s Rita!! The EGOT herself! She can act, she can sing, she can dance, a triple threat. Obviously absolutely iconic as Anita in West Side Story (her part of the Tonight Quintet is the sexiest part of the film, fight me). But before that she was the amazing Zelda in Singin’ In the Rain!?! Thanks Zelda, you’re a real pal."

"She continues to be amazing but also she's got legs for days."

"THEE iconic rita moreno, EGOT winner, civil rights activist, theatre legend. watch her documentary "Rita Moreno: Just a Girl Who Decided to Go for It". also her rendition of "fever" on the muppet show"

Marlene Dietrich:

ms dietrich....ms dietrich pls.....sit on my face

its marlene dietrich!!!! queer legend, easily the hottest person to ever wear a tuxedo, that hot hot voice, those glamorous glamorous movies…. most famously she starred in a string of movies directed by josef von sternberg throughout the 1930s, beginning with the blue angel which catapulted her to stardom in the role of the cabaret singer lola lola. known for his exquisite eye for lighting, texture, imagery, von sternberg devoted himself over the course of their collaborations to acquiring exceptional skill at photographing dietrich herself in particular, a worthy direction in which to expend effort im sure we can all agree. she collaborated with many other great directors of the era as well, including rouben mamoulian (song of songs), frank borzage (desire), ernst lubitsch (angel), fritz lang (rancho notorious), and billy wilder (witness for the prosecution). the encyclopedia britannica entry im looking at while compiling this propaganda describes her as having an “aura of sophistication and languid sexuality” which✔️💯. born marie magdalene dietrich, she combined her first and middle names to coin the moniker “marlene”. she was a trendsetter in her incorporation of trousers, suits, and menswear into her wardrobe and her androgynous allure was often remarked upon. critic kenneth tynan wrote, “She has sex, but no particular gender. She has the bearing of a man; the characters she plays love power and wear trousers. Her masculinity appeals to women and her sexuality to men.” in the 1920s she enjoyed the vibrant queer nightlife of weimar berlin, visiting gay bars and drag balls, and in hollywood her love affairs with men and women were an open secret. she was an ardent opponent of nazi germany, refusing lucrative contacts offered her to make films there, raising money with billy wilder to help jews and dissidents escape, and undertaking extensive USO tours to entertain soldiers with an act that included her a playing musical saw and doing a mindreading routine she learned from orson welles. starting in the 50s and continuing into the mid-70s she worked largely as a cabaret artist touring the world to large audiences, employing burt bacharach as her musical arranger.

First of all, there are those publicity photos of her in a tux. Second of all, I have never been the same since knowing that she sent copies of those photos to her Berlin lovers signed "Daddy Marlene." Not only is she hot in all circumstances, but she can do everything from earthy to ice queen. Also, she kept getting sexy romantic lead parts in Hollywood after the age of 40, which would be rare even now. She hated Nazis, loved her friends, and had a sapphic social circle in Hollywood. She also had cheekbones that could cut glass and a voice that could melt you.

Her GENDER her looks her voice her everything

“In her films and record-breaking cabaret performances, Miss Dietrich artfully projected cool sophistication, self-mockery and infinite experience. Her sexuality was audacious, her wit was insolent and her manner was ageless. With a world-weary charm and a diaphanous gown showing off her celebrated legs, she was the quintessential cabaret entertainer of Weimar-era Germany.”

The bar scene in Morocco awoke something in me and ultimately changed my gender

"Her manner, the critic Kenneth Tynan wrote, was that of ‘a serpentine lasso whereby her voice casually winds itself around our most vulnerable fantasies.’ Her friend Maurice Chevalier said: ‘Dietrich is something that never existed before and may never exist again.’”

"Songstress, photographer, fashion icon, out bisexual phenom (notoriously stole Lupe Velez and Joan Crawford's men, and Errol Flynn's wife, had a torrid affair with Greta Garbo that ended in a 60-year feud, other notable conquests including Erich Maria Remarque -yes, the guy who wrote All Quiet on the Western Front- Douglas Fairbanks Junior, Claudette Colbert, Mercedes de Acosta, Edith Piaf), anti-Nazi activist. Marlene was a bitch - she had an open marriage for decades and one of her favorite things was making catty commentary about her current lover with her husband, and her relationship with her daughter was painful- but she was also immensely talented, a hard worker, an opponent of fascism and the hottest ice queen in Hollywood for a long time."

"She can sing! She can act! She told the Nazis to fuck off and became a US citizen out of spite! She worked with other German exiles to create a fund to help Jews and German dissidents escape (she donated an entire movie salary, about $450k, to the cause). She looks REALLY GOOD in a suit. If you're not convinced, please listen to her sing "Lili Marlene". Absolutely gorgeous woman with a gorgeous voice."

Gifset link

"Bisexual icon and Nazi-hater. Looks absolutely stunning in the suits she liked to wear. 'I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men'."

"would you not let her walk on you?"

[youremyheaven]

Lisa: Kibbe Analysis

I had previously made a Kibbe analysis post for Jennie and now its Lisa's turn 😌 On Kibbe communities online, Lisa is often typed as a FN/Flamboyant Natural but she is in fact, imo, a Soft Dramatic.

People often don't type Lisa as an SD because she has a cute face and a very lean body and apparently does not look like a natural fit next to verified SDs like Sofia Vergara, Sophia Loren, Rachel Weisz etc. SD is a very womanly, sensual ID and Lisa "apparently" does not suit the Diva Chic essence and is not "womanly" looking.

I strongly disagree.

A Flamboyant Natural is described as straight, broad, and blunt. A lot of flamboyant naturals have a muscular quality to their bodies as well. Quite often the bust and hips tend to be straight or flat.

From these pictures, its obvious that while Lisa has broad shoulders, she has a very waspish waist and full hips. Although she's lean, she's not muscular. Her body is not straight or blunt.

A Soft Dramatic is described as

taller than 5'5 inches/165cm (Lisa is 5'6 or 168cms)

usually have long limbs (Lisa has very long legs and long arms)

Most fleshy through the hip and bust (although not always if you are extremely thin) 

Moderate fleshiness on upper arms and thighs

A defined waist that is moderate in width in comparison to the rest of your body 

As we can see from these pictures, Lisa is very long limbed, she's 5'6/168cms but she looks even taller. She has fleshy thighs and full rounded hips. If she weren't as underweight as she is now, she would also have a fuller bust. She also has a very well defined waist.

another very important SD determining factor is the T shape silhouette.

T shape silhouette refers to broad shoulders, small waist and proportionate hips. Lisa has a T shaped silhouette.

This is probably the only outfit of hers where she's dressed like an SD. She looks amazing as she honours her Diva Chic essence and looks very sexy, very womanly and bold. She does not look out of place in this look at all.

However she does look very out of place here. So much so that she's barely recognisable. On the left is verified FN Gwyneth Paltrow, who looks good in a white gown with zero draping because she has the frame to carry it. Lisa may have broad shoulders but she is not "wide" and does not possess the frame to pull off this look. She looks unlike herself because nothing about this looks screams "Diva".

However all these outfits truly bring out her Diva Chic essence and make her shine. Be it the makeup or the styling, the pattern/print heavy looks really make her pop.

An SD face is described as having:

Full features, exotic essence

Large eyes

Full lips

Fleshy Cheeks 

Prominent facial features 

Here is Lisa next to 3 verified SDs, (top right, Anita Ekberg, bottom L to R, Rachel Weisz & Sophia Loren)

All of them have full, lush features, an almost "exotic" appeal and are very visually striking. Lisa looks like she belongs to this ID along with the other woman.

Before you ask me, face matters A LOT when determining someone's ID. Don't believe people who say otherwise. You don't just dress for you body, you dress for your face as well.

Here's Lisa in a bunch of outfits that don't do anything for her. Stylists always seem to be so lost with regard to what to do with her and she often ends up with the most questionable-looking outfits. Due to her cutesy personality (never forget Mentor Lisa tho, she can be very serious when she needs to) I guess its hard to put her in ball gowns and ultra glamorous outfits but these are exactly the kind of looks she looks incredible in.

So much of her styling seems like a lost opportunity. Being tall and skinny does not make someone an FN and Lisa looks the most plain in denim looks. Since she's not particularly fashion-forward or experimental with her looks, we often see her in the same booty shorts and crop top outfit formula on stage and off stage, she's at the mercy of whatever her stylist puts her in. But bbg is an SD in disguise.

[twittercomfrnklin2001-blog]

Screaming Mimi

A few years back, I did a conference paper on gender issues in films dealing with burlesque. I had planned to make my focus three films that were more burlesque-adjacent but had interesting plot similarities. In each, a beautiful woman works for a lesbian and has to deal with being stalked. I call it “The Stalking Trilogy.” I had to cut one, however, because on reexamination I realized the leading lady wasn’t really a performer (somehow my memory had added a scene of her doing an exotic dance). Anyway, a young friend and I have been taking turns introducing each other to movies, and I decided it was time to share “The Stalker Trilogy” with him in the order in which I covered the first two and would have covered the third.

Despite terrific black and white cinematography by Burnett Guffey and the always welcome presence of Gypsy Rose Lee, Gerd Oswald’s SCREAMING MIMI (1958, YouTube) isn’t what anybody would consider a good movie, but its treatment of gender is fascinating. It really could be called “Watching Anita Ekberg.” She enters coming out of the surf in a black swimsuit. While she showers, she’s attacked by an escaped lunatic whom her coded-gay half-brother shoots. The trauma puts her in an asylum, where, after watching her through a peephole, her psychiatrist (Harry Townes) falls in love with her. He signs her release papers and takes her to the big city, where she gets a job doing a slave dance (more watching) at Gypsy’s club, El Madhouse. Meanwhile, her half-brother has made a small sculpture to commemorate her attack (as one does). When it turns up in her town, the first woman to buy it ends up dead, and Ekberg is attacked after receiving one of her own. All of this attracts the attention of reporter Phil Carey, so he falls in love with Ekberg and sets out to find the killer. By the time he does, it’s rather hard to care.

Ekberg made the film at a time when she was more famous for being sexy and famous than for anything resembling acting. She’s watched ceaselessly throughout the film and frequently photographed in poses that show off her legs and bosoms (she plays the last half in a flimsy black lace outfit I referred to has her “Sunday go to meeting dress”).

She also has acquired a large dog named Devil, which often makes her the image of “La Belle Dame Sans Merci,” a folk representation of the monstrous feminine often depicted as controlling some deadly beast. She exists to exhibit herself and to take orders from the two men in her life, her lover/psychiatrist and the reporter, her lover/inquisitor, though Devil often displays aggressive behavior when they get too pushy. Gypsy is coded as a lesbian; she has private sessions teaching the club’s cigarette girl how to strip. Since she’s at the service of the patriarchy — her job is holding women up to the male gaze — she and her girlfriend survive and stay together. She’s also one of the most interesting characters in the film because by this point in time, the ecdysiast was a reliable character actress.

Ekberg wasn’t. You can’t tell when she’s in full possession of her mental faculties or when she’s retreated into a fugue state. At one point, my friend asked, “Is she supposed to be catatonic now? I can’t tell.” This was Oswald’s third attempt to turn her into a movie star — after VALERIE (1957) and PARIS HOLIDAY (1958) — and his third failure in that regard. It would take Federico Fellini’s spoofing her sexpot image for her to make any real on-screen impact. Meanwhile, a much better young actress, Jeanne Cooper, was relegated to posing for mug shots of the killer’s first victim. The plot, from a novel that also inspired Dario Argento’s THE BIRD WITH CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970), is so nonsensical it was hard to read my paper (remember that) through the laughter at each absurd turn. I finally had to interject with, “I’m not making this up, you know.” That proves that you can always rely on Anna Russell, if not Anita Ekberg.

[variousqueerthings]

there is anita cortez briefly in the edge (when meg takes over the wiping of fraser's face/neck) and he gets a compliment from two dancers at one of the clubs in body language, but that's more casual on their part

but yeah it does seem that this season pushed that back a lot a lot -- I do mention Ida, because as much as she's not really doing it because she genuinely loves him/her own Stuff is making her act a certain way about One Guy who is kind to her (and she is a great character honestly) she does still invade his boundaries/touch him without his consent, "maybe that ain't so bad, a guy that doesn't talk back" (which, this says a lot about her ideas of these boundaries ofc + this whole episode being about exotic dancers and the sexy Mountie uniforms at the end, listen im always going to read Fraser through the lens of someone who's objectified in various ways and is learning throughout to get out of that mindset)

anyway, what this means for Fraser and Meg, need to think some more about it. i do think she's the first woman he's really flirted with, rather than just been flirted at (Victoria I don't think included any flirtation, from memory)

am also curious if s3+4 has some elements of this again. so far we've had the old lady who touched his chest and then was very into the idea of him crossdressing (mood, old lady) and Meg's whole "legs moving like pistons" reverie, and a bunch of Frannie -- and then in episode 1 we had Fraser's (so far) single own flirtatious moment when he mentioned Meg's eyes (but this has been absent since Ray has been gone)

(there is, obviously, a separate thing here about his interactions with RayV -- I think initially of that je ne sais qoui back-and-forth ofc)

but yeah. a mix of "the big antagonists in s2 are mostly guys" (Lacroix, the train guys, carter, Gerrard, the entirety of Witness, the landlord in One Good Man, Lou in White Men Can't Jump To Conclusions) (there are some good female villains, Vault and Mask) and "Fraser's focus with women is Meg"

still, part of the picture somehow. he's uncomfortable with people openly expressing interest in him, but he likes his superior pushing him around. he doesn't flirt at random, but he does when he's comfortable enough (in his own, sweet way). he's not interested in pursuing traditional relationships, but he doesn't shy away from certain kinds of relationships falling into place. sometimes he's uncomfortable with sex, but it seems to be when it's about himself and not sex as concept. etcetc

it's interesting how in s2 there really aren't a lot of "woman of the episode tryna get with fraser and he's oblivious-to-openly-uncomfortable" and i think it's because it's mostly been replaced with his and meg's little D/s in the workplace thing. also both of the big times a woman hits on fraser, meg sees it happen and is unhappy with it (the edge, body language) but i read it more as a "weird girl who thinks the guy she likes could have any pick of women and she's not wrong in the sense that other women think he's smokin' but she is wrong in that any woman who spent more than 5mins with him would realise he's too weird for them" and so she's sort of awkward about it all, like she's just waiting for him to realise that she's too much hard work or smth

but also she knows this man is weird. she's actively had moments of expressing how weird she thinks he is. (the fact that she thinks this is a very attractive trait possibly goes into why she thinks he could just go for any other woman, without realising that fraser is also into weirdos. they're weirdo4weirdo. autism4autism, if you will, and i do will)

but yeah. less hitting on fraser this season than i remembered from my first two watches. more "i would like this woman to boss me around and push me against surfaces and--"

[keithswhore]

i'd say she's a bit shorter than keith who's about 175cm. maybe 170 cm ish... some page online says she's 5'6 (about 167cm)

[foxymoxynoona]

Tell Me What Changed (Pt. 3)

Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive

Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.

Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC

CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, bad language, explicit sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else

Read on AO3 here or below

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

Jungkook scrolled through his camera roll as he stretched across Jimin’s couch. Jimin and Namjoon were talking about something boring, so instead he flicked through selfies, looking for something worth posting. He’d taken a few at the gym but realized the weights didn’t look as impressive sitting behind him. He thought about doing a before/after photo of his biceps using a photo from high school but decided posting a high school selfie would backfire. He was already doing a bit of damage control after he’d accidentally answered a Facetime with Anita while trying to actually reject it because Camila was sucking him off, which had of course been obvious. What had been less obvious to Jungkook was that Anita had thought going to the arcade meant something. Because it was a double date. Because he introduced her to his friends.

Anyway, she’d posted some passive aggressive shit on his insta, and Alex had not waded in to defend him this time because she was busy trying to shake her mom off the scent of a potential husband in Hoseok, so Jungkook had laid low for a while. Fewer social media posts. Let some attractive people DM him, asking where he’s at. Hearts from girls who hoped everything was ok.

But he was bored of laying low now. Hook ups weren’t an issue, but he longed for the steady ‘ding’ of notifs as people thirsted over his traps.

He paused on a particular photo to admire a different kind of trap, the muscle kind.

“Damn, upper body day’s really paying off,” he mumbled to himself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” He didn’t even look at Jimin, just ran through a couple captions in his head before deciding on one. Posting the mirror selfie of him with a loose tank top clinging to his damp torso, pecs and abs looking good through the thin fabric and skin with a healthy glow after he’d just come in from Namjoon’s pool, he captioned it: leg day 😉 not my bathroom, don’t judge the creams. Because they would judge the drug store brands and the aged look of the toothbrush. He didn’t want that to distract them from his funny joke. Because his legs weren’t even in the picture but his upper half looked banging. It was ironic! 

Several instant likes put him in a positive mood as he turned in for Namjoon to complain, “But I’ve sent like two dozen messages to girls and gotten maybe… five messages back? Including the ones that were obviously bots.”

“They must be pretty bad if even you figured out they’re bots,” Jungkook weighed in.

“I’m not an idiot!”

“Yeah, no one thinks you’re an idiot, ignore him, he’s got his head up his ass about something else,” Jimin assured Namjoon, waving his hand dismissively at Jungkook.

Who scowled and assured him, “My head isn’t up my ass about anything. The fuck are you talking about?”

Namjoon had already forgotten him though and sighed, “Hoseok said this was one of the good ones…”

“Sure but he still met Alex through work, not an app,” Jimin pointed out.

Jungkook pulled out his phone, no longer interested in joining their conversation. Of course Alex had brought Hoseok around to dinner and of course Jimin, In’am and Namjoon had loved him. Now he had the sinking feeling that Taehyung and Sabina were probably going to love him too. Maybe even more of the circle –their extended friends, the girls who were off-limits to him because of their friendship with Alex, maybe even the girls he had fucked but who would suddenly turn their attention to this unavailable dude who would spend the whole evening squirming around like he had to piss every time something made him laugh.

“Look, you don’t have to meet your soulmate, it’s about getting back out there,” Jimin encouraged. 

“You’re better off meeting someone through instagram,” Jungkook suggested. “I get mad–”

“If you’re about to say ‘mad pussy’--” Namjoon sighed.

“I’m just saying, you’re a good looking guy, maybe post something besides pictures of your back as you look at walls in a museum…” He trailed off as he skimmed through the likes and comments pinging in on his new photo.

Including one from Alex!

I don’t get it

His eyes narrowed as if she could see him as he responded to her, “It’s a joke.”

Her response was almost instant, “The photo? Yeah I see it now.”

“See what?” he asked, ready for whatever fight she was bringing. Wasn’t she hanging out with Hoseok right now anyway? He was pretty sure she was, hence why she hadn’t been “able” to come to Jimin’s with him. Sure enough, when he clicked on her avatar, it took him to her story, three videos in a row of her running through those water-shooting fountains downtown with Hoseok, giggling when they each narrowly missed getting splattered. That exhibit was outside of the Blake Modern, a common high school field trip he’d been on years before and never had the urge to repeat.

“Maybe you should just date Hoseok and Alex,” Jungkook scoffed. “They’re at the Blake Modern right now.”

“Ah! I wonder who they went for. Napoleon Jones-Henderson and Raul de Nieves are the two big exhibits right now,” Namjoon mused, missing the joke.

Jungkook turned his phone to show Namjoon a photo of Hoseok posing, face down and away, in front of a white wall with big colorful lines coming down from the ceiling in a way that formed several visual circles.

“Oh, Eva LeWitt is still there–”

“There, solved your romance for you.”

“Or he could just date Hoseok when he and Alex break up,” Jimin suggested. “Or he could date Alex! Isn’t that what you mean?”

Jungkook’s eyes rolled out of his head, “He doesn’t want to date Alex.”

“I don’t,” Namjoon admitted with a laugh, “Even though I know she’s great! I didn’t think she liked museums much…also 75% of the time I’m convinced she barely tolerates me.”

“She doesn’t like museums, probably yet another thing she’s doing to impress that guy…”

“You know,” Jimin said. He suddenly slid from the chair to the couch beside Jungkook. His fluid movements made him look utterly conniving. “Maybe we should set you up with a profile on that app too.”

Jungkook laughed, giving Jimin an incredulous look as he reminded, “Did you miss the part where I said I already get mad pussy?”

“Yeah but what if you could get… happy pussy? Loving pussy? Committed pussy–!”

“Uh… no thanks? I’m good.” Jungkook patted his shoulder and shot Namjoon a look like what’s up with this guy before turning back to his phone. 

“But… are you?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“It could help you meet people,” Namjoon suggested with a broad gesture as if this was a problem Jungkook had just mentioned they had the perfect solution.

“Uh, I don’t need help meeting girls. Did you guys miss the part where I get–”

“Yeah yeah mad pussy,” Jimin waved his hand. “But the girls you meet just want to fuck.”

Jungkook shrugged, “Most of them. Some of them would be down to date but I don’t want a girlfriend so I try to avoid those –too much risk of hurt feelings, you know?” Sigh, Anita.

“But now that you don’t have Alex, maybe you want a girlfriend?”

Jungkook glared, “What does Alex have to do with what I want?”

“You just seem kind of bitter without her–” Namjoon started, while Jimin quickly corrected, “Lonely. You seem kind of lonely.”

Jungkook shook his head, understanding their concern now, and assured them, “Nah, it’s not that. I mean yeah she’s gone a lot now and stuff and even if she’s home, she’s talking about Hoseok, or texting Hoseok, or he’s there–”

“Yeah exactly–”

“Ok, but I’m fine, I can last it out.”

“Last it… out?” Namjoon asked, nodding as if he understood but with a confused look on his face.

“Yeah, I mean they’re spending a lot of time together but it’s not actually that serious,” Jungkook explained. “They aren’t even having sex yet.”

“Woah woah–”

“Ok, that’s not our business–”

Jungkook rolled his eyes again and argued, “Oh come on, we’re all in each other’s business all the time.”

“Yeah because you flaunt your business.”

“And Alex flaunts her lack of business. If you even bring up sex she gets all red-faced and starts slapping you like an angry little penguin–”

“Dude, don’t call her a penguin,” Namjoon sighed.

“Why not? What’s wrong with calling her a penguin–”

“I mean it’s just not a flattering bird to call a girl–”

Jimin let out a loud sigh, “God, the two of you…” The front door opened, the sound of keys and bracelets jangling together announcing In’am’s return. Jimin called to her, “Help! Save me from these two idiots!”

“Hey!” Namjoon cried. “Don’t lump me in with him. I got married–”

“And divorced,” Jungkook defended. “I make sure not to step in it that deep.”

“Yeah you don’t step into it at all. Mr No-Commit and Mr. Overcommit over here. Save me,” Jimin whined as In’am dropped her bags by the front door and sauntered over. Jungkook tried not to watch the way she leaned down, arms winding around Jimin’s neck as she kissed him on the forehead. It felt outrageously intimate to do in front of guests in this context, even just them, even though he recognized it was just a kiss. Things between them just always seemed so intense.

“Sorry babe. You picked ‘em, you diaper ‘em.”

Namjoon and Jungkook both immediately protested as In’am just laughed and ruffled Jimin’s hair. His gaze trailed after her as she disappeared through the kitchen, calling back a mundane question about dinner plans, Jimin answering with that same domestic familiarity. It didn’t sound that different to Jungkook and Alex shouting across the apartment to figure out where to order from or if they were going to pep talk each other into cooking something better. God forbid Jungkook answer that he just ate; Alex would grill him about why he’d eaten without her, what he’d eaten, if he had leftovers, why he hadn’t thought of his poor starving roommate before he selfishly hoarded his food. His smoothies and salads would make her roll her eyes but she’d still demand her share; it was about the only way he got fresh vegetables into her that weren’t doused in arguably delicious but high-sugar, high-sodium sauces… Alex once went like nineteen days without taking a shit because she’d been too stressed to eat right or forgot or something stupid and he’d had to take her to the emergency room and he’d worried about her fiber intake ever since…

Well now Hoseok could take her to the emergency room when she went too long without taking a shit. Jungkook was officially off ER duty with her since she had this new boyfriend –who she wasn’t even having sex with yet. They’d been dating like six weeks now… that just seemed like a bad sign to Jungkook. Right? Like who in this modern day and age dated someone as incessantly as they were and didn’t fuck by six weeks? He’d asked if Hoseok was one of those wait-until-marriage guys but Alex had said no and then looked like she was going to scratch his eyes out, so he hadn’t ask more. But it just seemed like a bad sign to him. Not that anyone was asking him but… seemed bad.

In’am and Jimin were both helping Namjoon with his dating profile now. Boring. Jungkook was bothered by this insinuation that he was failing in some way to not have a girlfriend when in fact it was because he didn’t want one, and he didn’t really care about Namjoon’s dating profile either. So when enough messages went back and forth with Seychelle to form a cute ice cream date down the block from his apartment, he bounced to watch a gorgeous girl lick her way through a strawberry ice cream cone. 

Alex kicked her legs like a toddler, perched on the backless bar stool in Hoseok and Seokjin’s shared apartment. She’d nearly slipped off the stool multiple times, not just today but over the course of the month she’d been coming here now. These chairs were a menace she was determined to conquer. 

“You need to buy new stools with backs on them,” Seokjin had told Hoseok once, catching Alex in the act of trying to pretend it hadn’t just happened.

Hoseok, who hadn’t seen, was baffled and asked, “Why? These are nice! I got them at Pier 1 when the– at that one that closed down and liquidated. You remember it?” Apparently Hoseok and Seokjin had made multiple trips there and basically bought them out. It explained why everything in their place looked like it was from a catalog.

Now she felt like Seokjin was watching her to see if it would happen again. Maybe it wouldn’t happen so much once the things were broken in but they still had too much of a bubble, the faux-leather too slick. Lack of ass to date. The slippery fabric of her dress did her no favors. I’m a beautiful drop of dew on a sleek blade of grass, she thought to herself, trying to find balance. Better that than I am an awkward baby seal on an ice shelf, plummeting to my death with a sneeze.

Hoseok sat on the stool beside her, perfectly at ease, though sometimes he twisted side to side in an over caffeinated fidget. They had both worked the morning and her energy was waning after dinner with Hoseok and Seokjin at their place –cooked by Seokjin, who was that kind of guy who cooked so well you wondered how he could possibly have evaded marriage this long. She hadn’t asked him that question directly yet… she was thinking of Rebekah and Minxi, ok? Maybe with one of them around, she’d feel a little less like three kids in a trenchcoat every time she entered their clean, well decorated, well-equipped apartment. An apartment for adults. 

There were several reasons she didn’t bring Hoseok over to her place often. That was definitely one of them. Another was that Seokjin was an even better and more willing cook than Jungkook. Another was that no one was likely to come stumbling out of the bathroom using her hairbrush or smelling like her lotion. And another was that–

Well, that this was aspirational. She wanted to belong here. She was going to learn. And Hoseok, bless that man, was apparently patient enough to teach her. Their afternoon at the museum had actually been a lot of fun! She’d thought it would be boring since she used to go for school field trips, but Hoseok was such a cool blend of fun and introspective. He could come up with the most beautiful explanation for a work of art, but was equally not above admitting “I have no fucking clue what I’m looking at… someone really did this?”

“Well the first airbnb has three rooms,” Seokjin said as he toweled off the clean dishes and put them back in the cabinet. “But the second one has those cool little cabins so we could double up in them and there’s a fire pit and a grill in the middle.”

“Hm….” Hoseok said, lips pursed. Alex had no fucking clue what they were talking about. 

“Or,” Seokjin continued, “We just all get rooms at the resort.”

“That’s the one,” Hoseok grinned. “Let’s do that one!”

“Really?” Seokjin laughed.

“Yeah! Comfy beds, plumbing, air conditioning, pool access, room service–”

Seokjin sighed and shook his head, “Ok ok, I get it. I knew you were going to go for that one. Tate and Milena did too. Luisa’s down for either. Alex?”

“Ah I didn’t– shit–”

“Hoseok, are you serious?!”

Hoseok looked mortified and Alex just continued to look between them, more confused by the second. Hoseok waved Seokjin away –he strode off after hanging the towel on the oven door, laughing and shaking his head.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Alex admitted. “You’re going on a trip?”

“Oh well see… I wanted to ask if –it’s very last minute. We’re all going up to Lakeville for a weekend because… well, just to relax and have fun. We’re all working hard and it’s summertime, right? The store is open, I deserve a weekend!”

Alex nodded supportively, “Yeah, you do!”

“So… do you want to go with me?” Hoseok’s eyebrows raised. He quickly added, “We can room together or you can room with Luisa if you’re more comfortable with–”

“Oh, you need to room with Seokjin?” Alex asked to cover the way her heart was suddenly banging pots and pans in her chest. Hoseok was asking her to go away for the weekend with his friends? To Lakeville? That was where grown ups went. It was all nice restaurants and bars and lake activities and country clubs and resorts –definitely out of the price range of her friends. They’d graduated years now, at what point would she stop feeling like they were all just overgrown college students? 

“No, I’d rather room with you,” he said. “But… I mean, if you want to go but you’re not comfortable–”

“No it’s not that. I uh…” Alex trembled with her want –no, need to go. A weekend away with her boyfriend! At a resort! No work, no other friend commitments, just relaxing and eating and drinking. “I want to go but uh… how much is the resort?”

Hoseok laughed and waved his hand, “No, I’ve got that. You just need to pack a bag, that’s it.”

“Wait but… it’s expensive–”

“I’ve got it covered, really! It can be a kind of two month thing… ah, that my friends are along for,” he covered his face. “But we don’t have to be with them the whole time! We can do our own thing and join them when we feel like it.”

Sex. Was that what he meant? She couldn’t tell with Hoseok –but that was something to think about at another time because obviously if that’s what he meant, she was down for it! She was ready! Excited, even!

“It sounds really fun.”

“Oh. But… it’s ok!” he told her, smiling and waving his hands. “I thought it might be too soon or you’re busy–”

“No! I mean, I’ll have to see if I can get off work but– but I want to go. With you. It sounds like a lot of fun! But I feel bad if you’re paying all this money.”

“I’m paying either way,” he insisted. “If you come, I’ll just get to have more fun.” He winked at her and she felt those bubbles low in her belly. Damn he was hot. He was so hot and while they’d by now had many a good makeout session on that couch and even in his bed, hands had barely dipped beneath clothing yet. Was he not eager? Was he waiting for her? Was she not obvious? Was she hesitating?!

“I want to go,” she told him, leaning forward to see if he’d kiss her. “Let me put in the request, tell me the dates.” He leaned forward, all smiles, to kiss her. It turned into giggles when she leaned too far and promptly slid off the stool; he moved quick to catch her, but slid off himself and they stumbled to the side several steps before they were steady.

“Want me to give you a ride home now? Or want to watch a movie?” he asked, glancing at the TV. 

“Um…” Alex pretended to think as Seokjin appeared from his room, sliding his wallet and phone into his pocket, headed off to his bartending shift. He made what to Alex seemed like crazy money at an upscale bar downtown where Hoseok teased he charmed men and women out of their savings accounts. Alex believed it. 

“You kids don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Seokjin winked and waved over his shoulder.

“I’ll stay for a movie,” Alex confirmed. Yes, she was tired, but if she fell asleep on the couch snuggled up with Hoseok, so what? It was nice. He was snuggly and she was getting snugglier too as she got more comfortable with him. It was kind of scary to have this new person to squish up against, and believe that he wanted her squished up against him! But wonderful. But scary!

Her first boyfriend trip. Wonderful and scary!

It took her some time to ease into it once they were down, the lights were low, and the movie was on. Hoseok slung his arm around her shoulder without a second thought but it was kind of heavy and the scent of his deodorant was too strong in her face. She twisted, trying to find a way that was comfortable. Her pants dug into her hips painfully, and then her knees hurt from being at an odd angle because if she sat all the way back, her feet didn’t actually touch the floor. 

“You’re squirmy,” Hoseok teased, dragging a tassled pillow over and handing it to her, as if that would solve everything. She wrapped her arms around it, not sure what else to do, and found that actually did help her settle. Hoseok’s arm draped across her and she hugged it to her, pillow sandwiched between his elbow and her stomach. Her head could rest more easily against his shoulder now. Sometimes his fingers tickled her knees, which she realized were flushing. Damn her legs! Who flushed in their legs?! The tickle of his fingers made her nervously need to pee but she was finally comfortable and not going to move until her bladder forced her to. She was too happy, snuggling with her boyfriend, so just shut the hell up, bladder! 

*

She fell asleep on the couch but Hoseok woke her to drive her home –after she peed like a race horse while running the sink so he wouldn’t overhear and think there was something wrong with her. 

The apartment was quiet and dark when she got in but Jungkook’s door was closed so he was in there, with a girl judging by the heels by the door and the purse on the dining room table. She saw it as she shuffled into the kitchen to find a snack because Seokjin’s healthy dinner had worn off and there was no way she’d be able to fall asleep with those tummy grumbles. 

She stole a packet of Jungkook’s ramen because she was out and settled on the couch to watch something, scrolling Netflix, keeping her mind empty. No reason to freak out about a weekend away with Hoseok. No reason to overthink why they still hadn’t had sex yet. No reason to get all blushy thinking about how wild it was that she and Hoseok kissed like, on a regular basis. It still felt tingly and exciting and fresh and nerve-wracking to her–

“That’s my ramen.”

She peered guiltily over the back of the couch at Jungkook. He looked like he was glaring but she suspected he was just still half asleep, hair ruffled, eyes bleary, shirt on backwards. Sleeping naked with whoever he had in the bedroom probably but drawn out by the scent of ramen.

“I’m out,” she admitted. “I’ll pay it back.”

Instead of answering, he let his hand fall heavily on her head, shoved it forward, then he stumbled towards the kitchen. She could hear him rustling around over the quiet, dark moment of her TV show, the click of the stove knobs. She slowed down her broth slurping so she still had food to eat when he eventually sank down on the couch beside her with his own.

“I would've made you one if I knew you were up,” she said.

“I just woke up.”

“Your nose did, huh? You’re like a dog about food.”

“I know what my ramen smells like,” he defended. He still blinked but a little more alert as he took in what she was watching with a roll of his eyes. There were plenty of dramas he watched with her, but he found this particular J-drama nauseating. ‘Saccharine,’ he had called it, and she’d nearly broken a rib laughing at him for sounding like such an intelligent snob. And also because he had clearly heard his mom saying that, Eomma Jeon had the same taste in dramas he did. 

“You were gone late,” he said after a while, cheek full of noodles like a hamster. “I thought you were spending the night over there.”

“Shut up.”

“What? Wha– it’s just a comment,” he frowned. “You don’t want to spend the night there?” Just as quickly he added, “Or you do and he won’t let you?”

Alex bit her lip in her haste to answer and clutched her hand to her mouth, eyes squeezed shut in pain. 

“Wiggle your toes,” he commanded, his go-to when you were in pain because he’d read an article about how it could override the nerves telling your brain there was pain somewhere. He always said it. Even when she’d broken her fucking wrist trying to ride his dumbass skateboard years ago.

As soon as it passed she corrected, “Actually he invited me to go on a trip with him in a couple of weeks.”

“What does that have to do with spending the night at his place?”

“Because you’re saying he doesn’t want to sleep with me, but if he didn’t–”

“I didn’t say that. I don’t know, maybe he just doesn’t like having girls over all night. I prefer to go to someone else’s apartment for sex too. You could have him here if he’s like that, I don’t mind,” Jungkook shrugged.

“Gee, how magnanimous of you.”

“Yeaaaah I am pretty magnum–”

“‘Magnanimous’ you decrepit toad.”

“That’s a really mean insult,” Jungkook teased. “Like I get the toad is old and infirm but to use that as an insult is just– I mean we’ll all be old and infirm someday–” She just reached out and shoved her hand against his face, managing to make him dribble brother down his chin. It made them both laugh, and Alex sloshed broth onto her knee and the couch. “Noooo now it’s going to smell even more like…”

“Like what?” she gasped. “What were you doing on our couch?!”

“No, I mean like whatever we smell like! Like food and–”

“Jungkook Jeon, we said no fucking on the couch–”

“Ahhh I didn’t mean that,” he sighed. “I mean maybe our apartment has a certain smell to it–”

“You think our apartment smells?!”

“Yeah, like us, right? I don’t think it’s bad, I don’t mean that, but maybe other people don’t like it… Seychelle said something about it… it smells like food or something in here.”

“Food.”

“Yeah.”

“Is Seychelle the one in your room? It smells like us and the food we eat in here, so? If she has such a fucking problem with that she– was she sucking your dick when she complained about the way we smell? Like what the fuck?”

He waved his hand, “No no, just when I first brought her in here she said that–”

“Well then she can go fuck herself in her own place next time.”

“I just meant is that why you don’t bring Hoseok over here?”

Alex just stared at him for a moment before pointing out, “You didn’t say anything remotely like that.”

“Ok but I did–”

“You didn’t. I don’t not bring him here because it smells weird, I– I don’t know, his place is really nice,” she shrugged. “And you two don’t really get along so–”

“We get along. I hung out with him at Namjoon’s dinner thing no problem, right?”

“Sure…”

“I thought we got past the arcade thing…”

“We did,” she said, and lifted her bowl to drink so she could not say something for a minute. It felt like they were veering into a weird place and she didn’t feel like going there right now. They’d fought about the arcade disaster for a few days and then made up like they always did. Jungkook had promised Alex could divulge one thing to his mom as retribution for him ratting her out. She was waiting for the perfect thing to present itself and in the meantime was holding her mom at bay by the tried and true tactics of 1. Going to see her mom less and 2. Whining moooooom, stop it and stomping away every time it came up. 

And Hoseok and Jungkook had been around each other since then, the rare one time Hoseok came over for dinner and the more frequent times when he had to wait for her to finish getting ready. The dinner. Jungkook was awkward but polite to Hoseok. She saw it.

“Ok… then…”

“I don’t know. This place is just so our grungy lifestyle but–”

“It’s not that bad. Why are you saying it like that?”

“You were just telling me you think it smells bad!”

“Yeah but I mean women will still fuck me here. If it was that gross they wouldn’t. Seychelle is just kinda… stuck up or whatever. I just meant is Hoseok the same–”

“No,” she answered emphatically. “No, he’s not like that at all. His place is just really nice–”

“Well we can make our place nicer,” Jungkook shrugged. “Like I bet his TV isn’t as big as ours, right? And you can get some couch pillows at Target or something.”

“Why me?”

“Y-gene cancels out the shits you give about pillows–”

“Hoseok has couch pillows.”

“Ok… ok so he can help you pick some out, that’s great. Maybe one of those like big rugs in here.”

“We have carpet in here.”

“Yeah but people do that, right? They put a rug on their carpet for decoration–”

“I don’t think we need more carpets.”

“I’m just saying if you don’t like the way our apartment looks we can change things up,” he said and she thought he seemed kind of offended. “Besides once we get that Slushee Maker it’s going to be a game changer. This place will be lit.” His words sounded like a joke but he seemed sincere. Alex thought he probably really did mean it sincere and it was endearing, her big dummy best friend. God bless the woman who he fell in love with someday, but it was endearing.

She smiled and admitted, “Yeah, that’ll be great.”

“Does Hoseok like Slushees?”

“Who doesn’t like Slushess?” she insisted. “I bet he likes Slushees. I bet he does… he’s not some like elitist asshole or anything.”

“Yeah, I didn’t say that!”

“Ok… just… he’s not.”

“He’s a rich guy or whatever basically, compared to us, right? He must have made good money at corporate. Now he’s taking you on a weekend away…”

“Yeah up to Lakeville.”

“No.”

“Yes,” she admitted, grimacing, laughing, embarrassed but also proud about this.

“I was kidding about im being rich but–”

“He’s not rich, he just makes more money than us.”

Suddenly Jungkook looked genuinely worried as he pressed, “How are you going to afford– you’re not spending your Europe trip money, are you?”

Alex felt an immediate flush of shame. She hadn’t even thought of using that money for this trip with Hoseok. It wasn’t that impressive of a fund, considering how long she’d been saving. Since college, actually! Originally they’d all been saving, but then Namjoon had used his on his divorce, and Jimin’s was going into his wedding, and she suspected Taehyung’s had been spent on that week in Paris with Sabina. It might be just her and Jungkook going on that backpacking trip, if either of them could actually put forth the effort needed to actually figure out how much they needed and book the damn thing…

Still, it was a chunk of money she had and she should have thought of it and offered it for this trip with Hoseok. That was fair, right? There was still time. 

But also she didn’t want to…

“You are.”

“No,” she said, “I didn’t say that.”

“It was on your face– look, it’s your money to do what you want with–”

“No, I feel bad because I didn’t even think about that… but… I should, right? Like I shouldn’t just let him pay for the whole thing.”

“Yeah you should let him,” Jungkook nodded. A noodle dangled down his chin. Alex reached over and shoved it into his mouth. “I mean, did he offer?” he clarified, wiping the broth off his chin.

“Yeah, he said just to bring a bag.”

“Oh then yeah, definitely, just let him–”

“But he doesn’t know I have a little savings thing for–”

“For going to Europe. He invited you on the trip so let him pay, he makes more money and he offered.”

“Yeah but how would you feel if you were the guy in this situation?” she argued. “Wouldn’t you feel taken advantage of?”

Jungkook immediately snickered, “Well, I’m sure I’d get enough head to feel ok about it… Not that you need to do that! I’m sure he doesn’t expect that. I mean you guys aren’t even having sex yet.”

“Yeah, right.”

“... Right?” he asked, looking suspicious. At her eye roll, his voice literally brightened as he asked, “Hey, do you think he’s asexual?” with a little too much enthusiasm.

Alex groaned and demanded, “Why do you think that everyone having less sex than you is asexual?!!?”

“Because why wouldn’t they be having as much sex as me if they like it?”

“Because maybe not everybody is good at it! Maybe it’s not that great for everyone! Or maybe it’s kinda scary to some people to be all… naked and close like that!”

“Ok yeah, if he makes you uncomfortable like that you should definitely not–”

“No he doesn’t make me uncomfortable about it, I just think there’s more to life than sex–”

“Geez calm down,” he laughed, which made her start to feel more annoyed than she actually had been. “You’re all red.”

“There’s just a lot of things you can do before sex so what’s the rush?” she huffed. “We have our whole lives to fuck!”

“Oh.” Jungkook looked taken aback. “Other stuff like…” 

She went goggle-eyed at him, “Are you kidding? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Ok ok I just didn’t realize you were blowing the guy already–”

“What?! I’m not! I… mean…”

He let out a sigh and nodded, “Ah, it’s like that, ok…”

“Like what?!”

“Look if you need pointers–”

“Oh my god, I know how to blow a guy, ok?!”

“Do you?”

“I do!”

“Because you didn’t blow Yoongi so–”

“Well I tried–”

“Yeah that’s why I’m offering but– ok, it’s fine, you know what you’re doing, whatever.” He held his hand up defensively then pushed up. Now she felt crappy and defensively pulled her bowl back when he reached for it. “It’s… empty.”

“Don’t be a jerk just because I haven’t had as much sex as you.”

“I’m really not. It was a sincere offer in case it made you more comfortable with Hoseok. You know you’re safe with me and you can ask me anything and I swear I won’t even be weird about it.”

“Wait,” she gasped, “are you asking me to blow you for practice?!”

“Jesus Christ, Alex, no, I meant asking questions! You know, with fucking words?”

“Oh,” she let out a sigh of relief. The thought of Jungkook taking his pants off in front of her, just here on the couch, and her settling down for a lesson in how to– fuck, it shattered her brain right now. It was the middle of the night. She could not handle the way that started banging around her empty skull.

Thank fuck Jungkook asked, bringing them back on track, “Does he have more experience?”

“I don’t know. I’m assuming so since…” She didn’t make eye contact but let him take her bowl. “Since my experience is like… not a lot.” His absence gave her time to settle and sulk; she could hear him rinsing the bowls out. She stared at her drama still playing, but she wasn’t very interested and didn’t care to rewind to see what she’d missed. When he came back, he had a glass of water he sipped from and then handed to her to finish. She thought he’d go back to bed and the naked girl that was in it. Seychelle.

Instead he flopped down on the couch again, a little too close so he sort of sat on her leg. She whined and shoved him off, but they were still pressed against each other once he moved his ass. He hadn’t said anything since he’d taken her bowl, and she got the distinct impression he expected her to say something. That he was patiently waiting for it. Like he could see there were words trapped behind her teeth that just needed a little patience to escape.

“What if I’m just really bad at sex and he dumps me?” she finally asked.

“Then he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Yeah but… he’s not. I still can’t believe he likes dating me and I think he’s probably really good in bed and–”

“Doesn’t matter how good he is. If he doesn’t like you enough to be patient while you get comfortable and learn then… kick his ass to the curb. I’ll even do it for you.”

He talked so casually about it. He made it sound so easy. When she was alone in her room, she felt that overwhelming need for Hoseok that had her reaching for her nightstand drawer and the pretty purple vibrator inside. She felt bold then. Determined to make her move the next time she saw him.

But then when she was around him, she’d get all tingly but in a private way. It made her shy. They made out and she was getting used to that, that felt good, but she was still just so aware that it was another person touching her, that she was touching a man, that it could go somewhere further, and the reality of it just made her feel so awkward.

It was her, she realized. She was the problem. Not because Hoseok was doing anything wrong. Maybe he was just slow to move physically too, but she might be giving him the sense she didn’t want him because she was feeling shy… maybe that’s why he was inviting her, because he really was hoping to seduce her and see if she was just shy or a total stick in the mud about sex!

But she wanted to be seduced! Even if that was a sentence she would die before speaking out loud! She wanted to get past her nerves and have a sexy sexual relationship with this sexy man who wanted to date her. Because he must want to, right? Have sex? Unless he just liked her personality and not really her appearance. It wasn’t like she was glamorous or anything. Just average. Cute but average, that’s how she’d describe herself in all honesty. She would have said more before but compared to how pristine Hoseok was, how just ethereally pretty he was, cute was where she maxed out.

“Hey, you don’t think he…” She trailed off, finding herself unable to actually say it.

“He… what?”

“No, nothing. I don’t know what I was going to say,” she admitted. Jungkook couldn’t help her answer this one. She’d have to take the risk on her own. The trip with Hoseok while they were staying in a hotel room and having fun all day and probably drinking would be the perfect opportunity for her to relax and take a leap of faith. It would be fine. He wanted to be with her! He cared about her. He must also be attracted to her. What could go wrong? 

The cup was empty but she didn’t feel like getting up, so she just threw it down the hall towards the kitchen. It bounced noisily along the floor and against the wall.

“Hey, Seychelle is sleeping–”

“Oh fuck.”

“Yeah, don’t wake her up,” he said through a yawn. “Then I have to go deal with her.”

“You’re such an ass,” she laughed. 

“Yeah, you’re the lazy asshole who just threw a cup down the hall instead of getting up or just like leaving it there.”

“If I leave it there it’ll stay there forever.”

“We could have my mom over for dinner–”

“I swear to god if you’re suggesting having your mom over so she’ll clean our apartment I will gut you–”

“That’s not why, it’s just a perk–”

“Oh my god–”

“Hey, I do the dishes when I go home! She gets perks too! I buy her flowers for no reason at all sometimes!”

“Yeah you’re both a good and terrible son. Remember that year you got me flowers for Mother’s Day–”

“Because you had a hamster!”

“--and my mom thought it meant–”

“--that you were pregnant–”

“--that you knocked me up,” she said at the same time. 

An awkward pause followed. 

“Uh… wait, what?!”

“You knew that!”

“I did not know your mom thought I got you– but we weren’t even dating–”

“Yeah I know, but obviously I wasn’t having sex with anyone and you were always around so– and you got me flowers!”

“Because you had a hamster! You were a furry mom!”

“I’m sorry… what?”

“No, not a furry mom like that. Like a furry mom with a pet.”

“Jungkook.”

“What?” he whined, obviously hearing his own words finally. She couldn’t even stop laughing hard enough to scold him. “Leave me alone, I’m tired.” He was so charming when he did that pouting thing, no wonder both their parents let him get away with anything. So unfair.

“You’re such a whiny baby. You’re the one who started talking about furries.”

“Fur mommy–”

She clamped her hand over his mouth and insisted, “Seriously, just be quiet. You’re getting into that giggly sleepy phase, you’re just going to make it worse until you start crying and then your face is going to get all puffy and Seashell is going to wake up next to that.”

“Seashell…”  He started to cry. 

“There they are. There are the giggles.” They were noiseless at first as his face scrunched up, eyes closed, smile taking over as tears escaped and curled around his cheeks. His teeth caught the light from the TV as he giggled, curling up against her arm. 

“God you’re so mean,” he giggled. 

“Did I get her name wrong? Say it again.”

“No, I’m not saying her name again. Put a different show on,” he said, suddenly serious, like he’d just swallowed the laughter away. A bubble of it caught in his throat. It sounded like he was going to throw up. His lips tightened into a thin line, trying to control it. More tears snuck out. 

“Oh, baby, you’re crying,” Alex said, dramatically wiping them away, knowing it would get him giggling again. Sleepy sober Jungkook was honestly one of her favorite of his many forms. It was just so fucking funny the way he crumbled, and few people got to see it! 

It worked. He wiped at his own eyes as she victoriously fished the remote up from the ground and backed out to find something else to watch with him. She complained and slapped his ass when he rolled close to wipe his tears off messily on her shirt sleeve. 

It took them more than five minutes of scrolling to find something they could agree upon. And it was pointless because as soon as the show started, Jungkook shrank down on the couch and let his head fall to Alex’s shoulder, and within two minutes he was snoring, one hand thrown across her lap, palm up, fingers in a relaxed curl. 

Alex made it five, curled up with her knees in his lap and her nose pressed against his hair until they toppled sideways, snuggling up together without waking.

Jungkook had big plans for the day. Big. After work, he was going to head to the gym and shower, get that out of the way, then he, Taehyung, and Namjoon were heading to the Japanese place that had opened near Namjoon’s house. Supposedly their sushi boats were cheap but good and they had the plum wine that the old Japanese place they loved had, the one that had shut down last year and they hadn’t found a good replacement for yet. This could be it! 

“I can’t believe you’re going without me,” Alex lamented as she stomped through the hall of their apartment, arms full of the toiletries she should have packed last night. Hoseok would pick her up at ten, after Jungkook had already left for work. She had talked big game about packing last night and then played video games with him instead.

Jungkook tailed after her, pausing in the doorway of her bedroom to point out, “Hey, you could stay and go with us. You’re the one choosing to miss it.”

“I’m not skipping a weekend with my boyfriend to eat sushi with you guys but…”

Boyfriend. Jungkook didn’t comment. It had been a week since Alex had come home from a dinner with Hoseok and some friends of his she hadn’t met before, during which he’d introduced her as his girlfriend. Jungkook had heard every detail about it. And heard the word ‘boyfriend’ about a million fucking times in the past six days.

“I’m just saying, you could have gone next weekend,” she sulked.

“Sorry, life doesn’t pause just because you’re skipping off to Lakeville.”

She rolled her eyes dramatically and batted him out of the way so she could leave again. To get more toiletries, make up, sunscreen.

“Little optimistic, huh?” he teased.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“As if you wash your face every night,” he snickered, noting the very full bottles of toner and serum and even the eye cream she’d bought when they’d visited the makeup boutique where Alex’s older sister worked. May was as girly and frilly and snooty as Alex was not, and they had a complicated relationship that Jungkook had watched with a sort of horrified fascination from afar. His relationship with his older brother was so much easier by comparison. Jin-hyun was a jock turned engineer, recently married and with a baby on the way and they hated each other almost as much as they loved each other. See? Simple!

“Shut up, you don’t get it. Hoseok has like a routine. Every night, every morning. I can’t look like my boyfriend takes better care of his skin than I do.”

“But… he does.”

“Yeah, but–”

“And that’s sexist. This is 2022, Alex. Your boyfriend can be prettier than you– unng,” he grunted as she punched him hard in the stomach. Her height always worked in her favor when she did that; she could really shoulder her strength into his gut if he didn’t have enough warning to protectively flex.

“I’ll kill you. Go iron your polo and let me pack in peace.”

“Don’t forget your tampons,” he called over his shoulder.

“The fuck do you know?”

“I don’t know, don’t periods usually start right during this kind of thing?”

“I swear to god if you just jinxed me–”

He snickered to himself as he left her to it, going to make his breakfast smoothie to drink while he styled his hair, covering up a few pimples along his jaw, before heading to his room to pull his work uniform on. Always hair and face first, so he didn’t run the risk of getting gel or concealer on his shirt. He’d made that mistake early in his career and one of the assholes had teased him all day that he had crusty cum on his collar, despite it obviously smelling like hair gel. If his cum smelled like that, he’d probably get way more head. Cum that smelled like that would probably taste pretty good too. Girls would love it. They’d beg to give him head to check it out– 

His phone rang as he pulled his pants up but he never answered his phone and let it roll to voicemail. Except as soon as that happened he heard Alex shout across the apartment,

“Answer your fucking phone!”

It instantly started ringing it again and he rolled his eyes to see she was calling him.

“What, birdbrain? Did you get stuck in your leggings again?”

“No! Shut the fuck up! I…” She trailed off. He wedged the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he tucked his polo into his pants, careful to smooth the fabric out so it didn’t bunch up with his boxers and create any weird bumps. 

“Alex?”

“Can I…”

“.... Alex.”

“Can I ask you a favor, ok? Look, I know you’re used to– I mean that I’m not…” She trailed off again.

“For fuck’s sake, Alex, just spit it out. I’m getting ready for work.”

“Can I ask your opinion on something?”

“Sure. What?”

“No, I mean… something I need to show you…”

His eyes narrowed suspiciously even though she wasn’t there to see it.

“What sort of something?”

Her voice sounded cagey as she mumbled, “I bought this thing for uh… for the weekend but… it’s just I’ve never worn something like this before and I don’t know if it’s incredibly stupid or–”

“Look if he doesn’t like kigurumi then you’ve got no future with this guy–”

“No, not one of those! Oh my god will you just shut up for once? I bought a thing, like a… a sexy thing and… and I know it’s kind of weird to show you and I know I’m not like… like a sexual being to you or whatever but can I just show you and you tell me objectively if it’s so stupid that I might get laughed at or somethign?”

“You are so fucking dramatic,” he sighed. “Yeah, whatever, show me.” He was already walking towards her room, phone still wedged as he zipped and buttoned. He buckled his belt as he reached her room to find her standing with her back to him and a blanket wrapped around her body like she was going to watch a movie on the couch.

“Ok what did you want to show me? I gotta get going.” He didn’t really, but her expression as she turned to him was weird and it made him antsy. “Come on. What sexy thing did you buy? Edible underwear? It’s bad for his teeth and it doesn’t taste very good,” he suggested, knowing without a shadow of a doubt she had not bought edible underwear. His guess was a bikini or maybe a short dress for dinner. She was weird about bathing suits. She’d tried a bikini on years ago while they were shopping and he’d insisted she looked great but she accused him of lying, didn’t buy it, and now just lamented ‘the lost bathing suit’ every year, as if she couldn’t just fucking google it and buy one just like it. It really had looked good though, kind of punk rock pin up with her black nails and long hair. But it could be a dress, she definitely didn’t like to wear short dresses either, as if ass hanging out was a bad thing. 

“Promise not to be weird or… mean? Just I’d rather you tell me if it just doesn’t look good than I like put it on for him and he’s not… happy. If it looks bad or something.”

“Ok. Sure.” Tread carefully, he knew she was saying. Do better than you did on the shopping trip.

“And um… I mean, it’s not that weird if you see my nipples, right?”

“Wait, what?” He was sure he’d misheard her.

“My… I mean, it’s just my body, it’s not like– You’ve like accidentally seen me kind of naked before so it’s not a big deal to just show you this because it’s just like you seeing nothing. I’m not even really a girl to you.”

He had not really ever seen her naked before. In just a bra from behind as she changed shirts, quickly, sure. In a bathing suit. Walking from the shower to her room in a massive fluffy towel, yeah. But not like naked naked… Believe it or not, it was not that hard to not walk in on your friend naked if you demonstrated some basic respect for things like closed doors.

Jungkook felt heat starting to creep up his neck as he clarified, “I mean you’re not not a girl to me, you’re just… my friend… are you saying you bought lingerie?” 

“Yeah….”

“Oh.” He’d never stood so still in his life. “Well, I mean… it’s fine then. Just wear the lingerie.”

“No, but–”

“Trust me, no woman ever put on lingerie and the guy she was dating didn’t like it. That just… doesn’t happen.”

“But I mean… you know, I’m…”

“You’re…” he prodded when she trailed off.

“I’m… large. Ish.”

“You are literally pocket-sized. I have a recurring nightmare of stepping on you in the dark and ending your life.”

“Be serious. I’m fat, and I don’t care about the mean shit people say most of the time but… I mean Hobi doesn’t seem to mind that I’m fat either, right? Even though he’s not. Because he’s dating me so it’s not like he’ll be surprised, right? But like… I mean it’s different if you see me naked and…” 

“Is it?” Every word Jungkook said had the potential to be the wrong one, he knew that. Even more than the shopping trip, he could feel the vulnerability rolling off Alex in waves right now. Talking about a girl’s body or weight was a minefield he tried to never step a foot into. He knew what his thoughts and intentions were but there was too much risk of fucking it up when it came to a vulnerable, naked woman. You didn’t want to assume a woman was cool about something but you also didn’t want to assume she wasn’t cool about something. He’d learned that one the hard way from Alex years ago. Better just to be general and supportive since he was sure that if Hoseok had any problem at all with Alex, it meant he was fucked up (and about to be physically fucked up), nothing to do with any reflection on Alex. He didn’t need to see Alex naked to know that anyone who saw Alex naked should be grateful and happy about it. A naked woman was giving you a gift. How fucked did you have to be to think of it any other way?!  

But there was this part of him that thought… just… well… what does she look like in… nothing… Did she look any different than he expected? Women looked so different from each other, it was something he really enjoyed about getting to sample so many of them. He’d known Alex longer than any other girl…

Look it wasn’t like he’d never thought of her naked before. He’d grown up with her. He’d watched her get boobs and even helped her steal a black lacy bra when they were fifteen because her mom would only buy her ugly ones. You bet he’d wondered what her tits actually looked like in it! He’d listened to her complain about the growing circumference of her thighs and stretch marks years before he and the other guys his age came to the belated realization that thick thighs and stretch marks were vastly underrated by teen boys and the media, so that he no longer felt like such a freak for thinking it was all actually pretty hot. He’d been friends with her when she was literally the only girl who could stand him, then the only girl who could help him make sense of his early dating disasters, then the only girl he saw as a worthy roommate and lifelong companion. He was always well aware she was a girl, the coolest girl he knew. A woman now. He knew that and he’d wondered what she looked like naked with the same kind of curiosity he had about…. You know… about lots of stuff in the world! He was only a human male, all right? That lacy black bra had haunted him for years at night, even if in daylight it was completely unrelated to his best friend Alex. Adolescent hormones could really do a number on you, but his love and respect for her had kept him from ever doing anything too unforgivable, or accidentally crossing any lines from which they would not have been able to recover once alcohol or hormone levels returned to normal.

And now was she… was she asking if she could show him the lingerie? On her? Was that actually what she was asking? He must be misunderstanding. 

She was still explaining, “I mean not you personally… or… unless it is! I mean I know we’re friends and all but–”

“Yeah, we’re friends.” He had no fucking clue what she had been saying before that.

“Is it weird for friends to see each other’s nipples?”

“You’ve seen my nipples,” he said without thinking it through.

“Yeah but I’m a woman so…”

“Well that’s kinda sexist, isn’t it? Everyone has nipples. Women don’t get to own nipples just because yours has a current biological purpose–”

“Oh my god if you go into that male lactation article you read again–”

“I’m just saying! They’re just nipples!”

“Are you seriously telling me you think tits are nothing special?”

“I– no, um… just that…”

“It’s weird, right? If it’s going to be weird, nevermind, I can just text– but I just don’t think Minxi or Rebekah or Sabina is going to tell me the truth or even know what a guy would think,” she sighed. 

“What about In’am–”

“Don’t even joke, I’m not sending her a picture of me in lingerie, are you insane? She’s basically a supermodel.”

Making a snap decision to be cool and not weird about this, he shrugged, “Well whatever, just show me then. You don’t have to make such a big deal about it.”

“... Right?” she asked, arching her eyebrow, looking up at him like she didn’t believe her own words. “I mean… it’s not that weird. It’s kind of like seeing me in a bathing suit.”

“Right.”

“We’re already grown up friends who live together platonically. Only we get to decide what’s weird and it’s not like this is hot to you–”

“Well I mean aren’t you asking me if it’s hot though?”

“God no, no, I’m asking you to just objectively tell me like… will Hobi think I’m hot.”

“Uh…”

“Like will a guy recoil from this.”

“If a guy recoils from any woman in lingerie he’s fucked in the head and you should run away. That has nothing to do with the woman, that’s the dude is messed up.”

She let out a clearly annoyed sigh, “So you aren’t going to give me a real answer because you’re suddenly wanting to be nice–”

“What real answer? I am telling you the real answer! There’s just no such thing as a woman not looking good in lingerie.”

“But maybe like the style or something isn’t good or like… if it looks like I’m trying too hard… or it just doesn’t look good on me–”

“No guy is thinking that much when he’s looking at a woman in lingerie,” Jungkook said. “He’s not thinking at all. Probably there’s no blood left in his head to think with.”

“Ok but… but I mean it’s me–”

“Alex. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Usually I’d agree with you but I’m just… I’m just kinda nervous, ok? Like we are probably going to finally have sex.”

“You shouldn’t have to do all that though,” Jungkook insisted. “You don’t need to make yourself more nervous–”

“No, the lingerie is supposed to help because then I’m not like totally naked, just a little naked…. Unless I feel comfortable and we take it off–”

“Ok shit I don’t need a fucking play by play.”

“I just– nevermind.”

But now Jungkook’s curiosity was piqued. He didn’t want to pressure her to show him the lingerie but if she was wanting to, he’d be stupid to make her feel uncomfortable about it. Because now this whole conversation was going to be stuck in his head, and it was like the black bra over again. He was a curious person, ok? What was under that blanket was going to haunt him for years now if he didn’t get an answer.

So he crossed his arms and leaned against her wall and beckoned with his fingers, “No, it’s whatever, just show me what you bought. I’ll tell you the truth.” He’d give her a thumbs up and she’d get her confidence boost. And on the weird chance she’d bought something actually crazy or weird, he’d help her avoid that. And in the event Hoseok reacted weird in any way, he’d kick his ass and buy the ice cream on his way home.

“Are you sure… it’s fine, right? It’s not cheating or anything because it’s not like you and I are– there’s nothing sexual between us or anything…”

“Yeah, I’m just a friend giving fashion advice, it’s fine.”

“Ok.” She hesitated and slowly started to remove the blanket. She hesitated again. Then she suddenly thrust the blanket away, letting it fall to the ground.

Alex had big tits. It was something he already knew. She had a big soft chest but they looked extra heavy cradled in a thin, nearly sheer bra, the dark shadow of her nipples visible through the gaps in the lace. Maybe it wasn’t called a bra when it had that gauzy fabric attached to it, a babydoll or whatever. Was it a babydoll only when it was open in the front? This fabric flowed all around her tummy and hips, brushing the tops of her thighs. The cave of her navel was dark above lacy panties he couldn’t quite tell if they were see-through or not. Even if they weren’t, nipples and naval were enough… were plenty enough. Soft exposed curves usually covered, now teased through sheer fabric, elastic straps pressing into wide hips and narrow shoulders…

Alex, it’s Alex, he reminded himself, trying to pull his gaze back to the whole, to Alex standing in front of him in this light purple outfit, arms stiff and uncomfortable at her sides like she had to hold them there not to cover herself, expression one of nervous uncertainty. But the fact it was Alex didn’t matter, it didn’t make her not hot. 

Just when he was about to tell her it was fine, she turned a circle, like he needed to know that the panties were a g-string wedged right up her ass, the lace hem of the babydoll fabric not quite covering the dimpled cheeks, leaving that shelf of skin exposed. The underbutt was one of Jungkook’s favorite parts on a woman’s body. He had to tear his eyes away to unfortunately instead notice all the straps further up, criss-crossing her back, pressing into her flesh, perfect for gripping while you–

“It looks good,” he shrugged, clearing his throat.

“That’s it? Shrug? But like… does it look good or just like… it’s ok? I want to level my expectations–”

“It looks good, Alex. What else do you want me to say–”

“Ok, right. Right you don’t have to say anything specific–”

“You don’t want me to say anything specific,” he snorted, already imagining the black hole swallowing him up if his internal thoughts bled from his mouth right now. 

“Ok but it’s like specifically good for me? Not just like… like ok, I guess if it leads to sex, it’s fine? If I wasn’t me and this was waiting in the bedroom for you–”

“Jesus Christ, Alex, it looks really good on you! You don’t need to worry about it! If that guy isn’t into this, there’s something wrong with him.”

“Oh.” She crossed her arms over her chest, but gripping her biceps, nervous, forearms squashed her tits so they spilled out of the lace. One was about to pop out, he thought. The panties weren’t sheer, he realized, because he could only see dark hair to the sides, not through. That was a poor design, sheer would have been good, but…

“Ok, thank you,” she said. “Uh… you can… go to work now.”

“Yeah, I gotta go to work,” he nodded. “Uh, good luck with your weekend.”

“Good luck with yours too… try not to trash the–”

“Yeah I’m going to get laid so much while you’re gone–”

She rolled her eyes nearly out of her skull, “Uh huh, so business as usual. Keep the bodily fluids in your room please. Same rules apply even when I’m not here to enforce them!” She wagged her finger at him. It jiggled her tits and made the gauzy material flutter and his gaze tried to escape but landed on her thighs right as she turned away. He already knew thick thighs were nice but they were so bare and grippable–

“Bye.”

He was worried he was looking at her too much. He was, right? But that wasn’t his fault, he’d told her! A naked woman was a naked woman! And Alex had a lot to look at! She didn’t have to be worried about something stupid… like what did she think was going to happen? She didn’t look that different than what Jungkook had imagined she did, and Hoseok would probably think the same thing, and you didn’t date someone unless you were looking forward to seeing them naked. Women thought too much about what guys were thinking and they weren’t thinking anything at all. Tits ass tummy thighs that was the extent of a guy’s thoughts. Where do I put my mouth first, that was it. Where will she let me cum?

Fucking shit he did not need his brain merging these thoughts right now. Objective! She’d just asked him to be objective, not specific!

So then why couldn’t she have just shown him the thing on the hanger! He could imagine objectively! He didn’t need to know she had two moles on her ass cheek but now he did know!

He left for work, even though it was too early and he wound up having to hang out in his car on his phone. He deliberated. Had he been a good enough friend? Had he said the right thing to pump her up but also not set her up to get hurt in case Hoseok actually was an asshole? Had he made sure she understood that if Hoseok had a bad reaction or pressured her when she wasn’t comfortable, she should throat punch him and leave? He could drive up to get her if he needed to, it wasn’t a big deal. He liked road trips. 

He typed out a message but then got worried it would seem weird after he’d just seen her in lingerie so he deleted it. He almost wished he could text Hoseok: hey, don’t fuck this up or I’ll fuck you up. But he couldn’t, and he wouldn’t, and maybe he’d buy some ice cream just in case it didn’t go the way she wanted. He had to go pick up some dishwasher pods and diffuser refills and a new vacuum anyway because theirs was not working. For like six months.

Shit, why were women so stupid? Worrying about what she looked like in lingerie, what an idiot. Dating a guy who made her worry. What an idiot. Not buying that bikini years ago, total idiot.

Alex didn’t think she had ever learned so much so quickly about another person. 

Probably she should have guessed that actually rooming with her boyfriend would teach her more about his habits than just visiting his immaculate apartment, but she had been too overwhelmed with her own nerves about the trip to really think about it.

For instance, now she knew that Hoseok did not like lake activities and got motion sick very easily –even more than her! Fuck, that was a relief. They’d barely made it out in their kayak, following Tate and his girlfriend Milena in one, Seokjin and ‘just a friend’ Luisa in another, when Hoseok started to feel sick and made them turn around. It meant Alex didn’t get to the point she felt sick! And also didn’t have to feel like she was a killjoy because even if the kayaks weren’t big enough to make her seasick… she just didn’t really think that was a lot of fun. Water sports weren’t really her thing and at least the last time she’d been in a canoe, Jungkook and Jimin had done all the work while she yelled at them every time she saw something sticking out of the water in case it was a snapping turtle. They’d called her Queen Bee. She’d loved it.. 

She now knew Hoseok liked to nap, which was excellent because she did too, and it was low key and cool to stretch out in bed and pass out with her hunky boyfriend right beside her. Good trial run for sleeping next to him the whole night. Jungkook and Yoongi were the only men she’d ever shared a bed overnight with. Wait, Taehyung too, a different friend camping trip where he’d drunkenly crawled into her and another friends’ tent because he “didn’t want to sleep alone.” He was the clingiest sleeper she’d ever met, but apparently Sabina liked that.

She now knew Hoseok brushed his teeth after every meal, which explained why he had the brightest, most dazzling smile of anyone she knew. He probably had no idea why anyone was ever nervous before the dentist. They probably gave him trophies for how clean his teeth were.

She learned he was adorable when he just woke up from a nap, and shuffled around like a sleepy toddler, and collapsed against you and snuggled until he was actually awake. He was very much like Jungkook in that way, similar sleepy pout. Except he was warm and smelled like vanilla lattes even when he hadn’t worked. At one point he kissed her neck sweetly before he pulled away and it made every hair on her body stand up and her heart race and her instinct to flee kick in and also every drop of blood drain right down to echo her heartbeat between her legs. There was a part of her that wanted to just take his hand and hold him there and suggest they get down to it. They’d waited long enough.

But their friends were waiting for them at dinner, and that was when Alex learned another thing about Hoseok: he could not hold his alcohol.

Tate, it turned out, was a total wine snob, and took great pleasure in ordering several bottles for the table. He and Seokjin argued over years and regions and labels while the girls rolled their eyes –and Alex was proud that Hoseok was with her, laughing close to her ear,

“I don’t know what any of that means.”

“Me either!”

“Do you want the red one or the white one?”

“Red one.”

“Yeaaaah, me too,” he grinned at her, and reached through Tate and Seokjin’s argument to grab the bottle and pour for them both.

One glass led to two and then Alex had enough; it was too much with the elaborate meal they were taking their time working through on a balcony table overlooking the water. The breeze as the sun went down was so nice and calming. Milena and Luisa were funny as shit and she thought they’d get along with her own friends really well. Conversation all around was so interesting and mature and wise –these people had careers and responsibilities and had traveled and it was fascinating listening to it all. Tate and Milena had met at Columbia and still took annual “spring break” trips with their college friends. Luisa was born in Ecuador and came to the States to study cello and now taught music to grade schoolers. Seokjin was born in Korea but his parents had divorced and he’d spent his life traveling back and forth for six months of the year, school year split. He hated it growing up, appreciated it now, but swore never to do that to his own future children.

Hoseok shared some of his own stories but grew increasingly quiet as dinner wore on. Alex worried he was upset about something but when she asked questions to try to draw him back into the conversation, he’d sort of wave her off. When finally she couldn’t evade the questions Milena and Luisa were asking about her own boring life any longer, she did her best to answer impressively–

Only for Hoseok to yawn.

Her shock must have shown on her face because Tate busted out laughing, “Oh man, we’ve got a drunk Hobi, huh?”

“Hm??” Hoseok asked, seeming surprised to hear himself referenced.

Seokjin was laughing now too, shaking his head, “You can tell, he’s flushed and quiet and sleepy–”

“No no– yes ok,” Hoseok sighed. “I think I’m tipsy–”

“Tipsy!” Luisa howled. “Mi hijo, you are drunk.”

“Noooo… ah.” His sigh sounded almost like a growl, it was actually kind of sexy, as he turned to Alex. “I do get like this. Yes. I’m a little drunk.”

She didn’t know what to say. Not like she cared, she just wasn’t sure whether it was funny or frustrating… did this mean he was ready for bed as soon as they left? It wasn’t like she could fault him for drinking too much on vacation but she also wasn’t quite ready to go to bed after they napped for so long, but she also wanted to spend the time with him, not his friends…

“Cute,” she smiled, not wanting to seem annoyed. It was fine. Obviously it was fine! They were here for three nights, and it was cute to learn her boyfriend could apparently not hold his alcohol, though she didn’t actually know how much he’d had to drink. Maybe it was more than she thought! Or maybe her friends were going to drink him under the table every single time– but no, that was fine. It wasn’t like drinking was a requirement for hanging out with her and her friends.Of course not! He’d had glasses of wine with her before and it wasn’t a problem at all so he must have just had a lot to drink tonight.

A lot. He kept yawning. He sort of looked like he was just going to put his head right down on the table. Instead she took his hand beneath the table and when he leaned over to let his head rest heavily against hers, she laughed,

“I think I’d better get this one upstairs…”

“No no I’m fine,” he insisted, waving his hand. “Where to now?”

“They’re doing fireworks out over the lake tonight.”

“Let’s see the fireworks,” Hoseok pleaded, turning a frown to Alex like she was actually sending him to bed. Actually she was really glad if he didn’t want to go quite yet! Maybe he just needed some time chilling outside, watching fireworks, and he could sober up enough for her to put her plans into place. She’d showered before dinner. She’d put a little make up on. Last night she had trimmed down there. She was ready. Two glasses of wine, ready to go!!

The lakeside was beautiful. The resort had lawn chairs but they were a little late making their way down and wound up just settling on a sandy part of the shore. Dirt stuck to her damp, sweaty skin so she took her shoes off. Hobi accidentally kicked sand onto her as he collapsed beside her, and laughed as he brushed it off a little hard. 

I’m nervous. It’s making me cranky. Get it together, bitch, she realized. So what if he was drunk? She should be drunk too! She regretted that she wasn’t drunk! The night had cooled off just the right amount, and if you looked ahead you could see stars across the lake until the firework show began from the far shore. Dazzling showers of orange and green and white and red lit up the eager faces of all the guests crowded along the shore and railings to watch. Hoseok’s eyes sparkled. He grinned when Alex leaned into him; he flung his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek, then stretched out on his back so as not to crane his neck.

“Oh, good idea!” She lay back too as the others did. The punctuation of explosions followed by the predictable wave of oohs and ahs was like a nice, calming sway. It felt like an ending, and started to give her that feeling that soon it would be time for bed and time to head home. But that wasn’t true! They still had two more nights!

Yeah! So what if Hoseok was too drunk to have sex tonight? Maybe Alex had hoped it would be so good they’d just go crazy and do it all the time but it was more realistic to think that they’d ease into it. Cool. It was fine. She could endure having that hanging over her shoulder one more day, that wasn’t a big deal. And now she was sweaty and sandy anyway, she wouldn’t want to put on her lingerie over this, though they were definitely going to need to shower….

The steady crackles of the finale dissolved into a thick silence, followed by applause. Soon after other guests began to gather their things and head back upstairs, but their group stayed there a little longer, staring up at the stars. Alex listened to the hum of conversation as Luisa talked about how long it had been since she’d been home to visit her family and how things like this always made her wish they were there with her. It made Alex miss her own family a little. It made her think of the many 4th of Julys she’d spent with Jungkook and their friends, or before that, with Jungkook and their families. Her parents had been so excited to make friends with the Jeons way back when so they could start having block parties in the summer. 

“We might as well head inside. Nightcap in the billiards room maybe?” Tate suggested.

Alex nudged Hoseok as she started to stand, only to realize he was completely asleep. At what point had he dozed off? Belatedly she realized it would have been romantic to actually kiss beneath the fireworks. She hadn’t thought of it, but neither had he, and maybe he’d even been asleep! In the moment, it didn’t matter that she hadn’t thought of it until too late anyway. She felt abandoned. And now she had to decide whether to go to bed early with her drunk boyfriend or invite herself along with his friends hanging out without Hoseok there as the bridge.

In a cranky fit, Alex decided, “Let me drag this guy to our room and I’ll meet you guys there?”

“Yeah ok, sure! Here,I’ll help,” Seokjin suggested when she grabbed Hoseok’s arm and began to shake. “He doesn’t drink a lot but it’s hard to wake him when he’s out…”

Alex bit her tongue. Why did he do this on their first night of vacation? He just wanted a drinking vacation? Well fine, she’d get drunk too then –not crazy drunk, but drunk enough they could be hung over together in the morning. Maybe that would help her get over that he’d left her to be a fifth wheel. He could have at least warned her, so she could keep up! She had no problem with a drunk vacation! But.. she’d kind of thought this would be more special than that…

“Thanks, Seokjin.”

“Yeah, no problem! We’ll see you guys at the billiard room. All right, Hobi, up you go. Heave ho!”

Sunday night was boring as shit. At least Saturday he’d gone out and the sushi had been great and he’d wound up crashing at Taehyung’s and playing games with him until four AM and slept late on his day off. Great.

But he’d gone home to an empty apartment and it sucked. Never before had he wished for a dog so badly. Usually Alex was there! She didn’t lick or run up to hug him when he walked through the door but she did shout complaints at him about whatever mess he’d accidentally left behind earlier and she brought him his mail so it evened out. 

He wound up inviting himself to his parents house for dinner, enduring Eomma’s theatrics as she acted as though he hadn't been home in months. It had been a few weeks maybe, but hey! He was a busy guy!

Unfortunately, though he shouldn’t have been surprised, Alex’s parents were also over. So not only did he have to endure his own mother’s dramatic rendition of how she’d been shriveling up without her son’s affection, but he had to endure Mama Song’s scolding “to pass onto Alex” about how she ought to stop avoiding her and come home.

“Tell her I’m not going to ask questions about that boy,” she said. “Tell her I’m over it. Forget about it.” The two women laughed. “But tell me why she did not come with you? Where is my daughter?”

Jungkook froze. He had nothing in his hands to shove in his mouth to give him a moment to think. His and Alex’s dads were still on the back porch smoking the meat. He hadn’t come prepared to lie to Alex’s mother but obviously he couldn’t also be the one to tell her that her daughter had absconded with her boyfriend to have crazy lingerie sex up in Lakeville all weekend either. He’d barely crawled out of the doghouse from the last fuck up and now–

Both moms burst into loud laughter. Eomma clasped her hands together. Alex’s mom waved a hand in front of her face and wiped away tears.

“Your look!”

“His eyes get so big!”

“The Bambi in headlights, that is who my son is,” Eomma howled. 

“I already know where my daughter is,” Alex’s mom assured him. “Vacation with that boy she won’t tell me anything about. What will you tell me?”

“I can’t tell you anything or she’ll cut me out of the will.”

“He’s Chinese.”

“No.”

“Japanese.”

“Mama…” Jungkook jokingly whined. “Save me Eomma.”

“European?” Eomma asked instead.

Alex’s mom waved her hand, “European is too broad. Uh… I don’t think my daughter would date a Brit. A Swede? No, I don’t see it. Too tall. Jungkook’s height is the most she looks good next to. Is he your height, Jungkook?”

“Do you know how much trouble I’m in already? I’m not telling you a thing,” Jungkook said. “You could at least not have told her I told you!”

“Of course you told me, you can tell me anything. Why not? You are practically my son,” Alex’s mom insisted. “If we had only let the two of you get married when you asked–”

“Yes, ask my son if he has a girlfriend! You think I don’t regret that–”

“Eommaaaas,” he complained, lumping them both together. “We were kids!”

“No girlfriend! My son never has a girlfriend, only ‘friends,’” Eomma said, making air quotes and giving Alex’s mom a look that had them both laughing at him. 

“Who’s telling you about my friends?” he glared.

“Your brother. You see? When you are married, you get to be the one to tell on others–”

“Well I got to tell on Alex, so–”

“Everything would have been so much easier if you and Alex married,” her own mother sighed. “This new boy, is he good? I don’t know anything about him, but I know you’re a good boy. You could have married back then and skipped all the heartache and the loneliness and the keeping your mothers up at night about if there’s someone to take care of you…”

Jungkook crossed his arms and scolded, “You are both out of control. Alex and I don’t have to marry anyone. We’ll always take care of each other. There’s no way she’s marrying this guy.”

“What?! Why not?”

“I just don’t think it’s that serious–”

“She’s having casual sex with a boy?!”

Jungkook sighed and slapped his hands over his face as both women started laughing again. He couldn’t figure out when they were fucking with him. Probably they always were. The two of them together really were out of control. They brought out the best and worst in each other. Like two peas in a pod. Like he and Alex! Though he’d never admit that to their moms, even though the old ladies probably had thought of it on their own. They’d probably just laugh at him again. They’d been laughing at him that way since he and Alex had jokingly asked in ninth grade if they could just get married and skip the whole ‘nosey moms’ thing. He couldn’t actually remember which of them had made the joke but it had been a bad idea because now their parents liked to annually bring it up. They hadn’t meant it seriously! Alex was going to shit a brick if they made that joke in front of Hoseok –if she ever even bothered bringing him around. 

Jungkook gave them a softly scolding glare and peaced out to go be on the back patio with his and Alex’s dads –a much safer place. There he could just grab a beer and join them at the grill, scolded only about how often and which direction he turned the meat. When he checked his phone, they didn’t pester and scold him about who had messaged (no one, actually, and Jungkook was annoyed that somehow no one was available to hang out, just because it was a Sunday night.) When he bragged about work, they were proud and didn’t make a single teasing remark about his polos or khakis (Alex couldn’t help herself.) 

Granted, it was a little lonely to be at dinner with all four parents but no Alex, or even any of the other siblings. Everyone had somewhere to be, he realized as he listened to them talking about things he didn’t really care about. The parents had lives that no longer revolving around their children. Their older siblings had relationships and families and lives that kept them from coming home out of sheer boredom on a random Sunday night. Even Alex had somewhere to be tonight, and hadn’t even texted him telling him how it was going. She’d said she would but he hadn’t seen a single picture and fuck him if he was going to be the first one to text! As if he had no one else to text!

Jungkook hated feeling like he was getting left behind. He’d never wanted a relationship. Why would he? He’d never dated a single woman he could see himself sharing a room with, much less a home, a dog, a life, kids, any of those things his parents envisioned for him. He liked his freedom. All of his needs were currently met. He was happy.

But sometimes, in moments like these, it left him a little sad to listen to his parents tell the Songs about some long ago trip they had taken Jungkook and his brother on, where both boys had gotten stomach bugs and spent the whole time puking –the details didn’t matter, but it was something Jungkook would never have, a spouse, a child, a partnership getting through the shittiest moments in life like that, someone helping him see the joy, someone to laugh about it with later. And right now, he didn’t even have Alex here to roll her eyes with him and come up with some witty snarky comment that he couldn’t think of to make the parents layoff about how he needed to meet a nice girl. Alex said he was the one who managed their parents, but he thought she did a better job of it –he got too defensive sometimes. She was better at making jokes to distract. She said he was better at it. It didn’t matter, they made a good team. But right now, he was just alone. And it wasn’t that he wanted something else just to avoid being alone at times like this but… 

Well, he missed her presence. He hoped she was having a good time. But not too good of a time. But apparently a good enough time she never texted him or thought about him.

“Ok ok no more drinks tonight, I’m just kidding,” Hoseok said as he caught Alex’s quick glance away. “It doesn’t have alcohol! Just ice,” he said, stepping slowly into the pool and settling next to her. “One for you… oh, did you want alcohol in–”

“No, no,” she said quickly. The drink was nice and cold in her hand; quickly she pressed it to her forehead to battle the faintest headache. After another full day in the sun, the thought of alcohol made her stomach turn. She’d asked Hoseok for something ‘not too sweet’ and the mocktail with refreshing cucumber was just right.

“Good?” he grinned.

“It’s perfect,” she assured him. “Thank you.”

“God I can’t wait for spa tomorrow,” Milena sighed, stretching out beside Alex, elbows back on the pool edge. She looked like a movie star behind her big glasses, with her long tan body, her perfectly casual messy bun. 

Alex made no comment. She’d never had a massage before and was not quite sure what to expect from a massage and a facial and pedicure tomorrow –the items she’d agreed to back when the trip was getting planned and the spa offerings were sent around. She was at least paying for her own services after insisting on it to Hoseok. She’d be paying him back. It had been one of two things they’d had a sort of… tiff about that morning. Tiff. Was she really the kind of person who used the word “tiff” now? But argument was too strong a word… right?

Even though they’d resolved it hours ago, Alex still felt a twinge of discomfort when she glanced at Hoseok and his bright smile. She felt like an asshole to have said anything at all when he had brought her on this vacation he was paying for most of. She hadn’t meant to say anything. But when he’d slept in super late to get past the hangover, leaving her alone with his friends for the whole morning after already spending the evening alone, apparently her “oh, nice of you to join us” had sounded less playful than she’d meant. 

It had been awkward. She hadn’t wanted to fight and he’d been so apologetic that she felt like an asshole for being annoyed in the first place. He didn’t drink often so he forgot his tolerance was low, and he hadn’t meant to drink that much, and he’d make it up to her. His over-apology had made her feel like he thought she was demanding it, but she wasn’t. Was she? She didn’t mean to! She just wanted her boyfriend present for this exciting weekend…

Belatedly she wondered if he drank too much because he was nervous. What if he was not wanting to have sex but didn’t want to say that? But what if, in trying to figure it out, she gave the impression she didn’t want to have sex?

These questions and the discomfort of their first little bump lingered with her through a brunch painting class, failing to catch anything shore fishing, eating sand in an intense volleyball game with strangers, and finally watching a movie in a hammock while the others went back out on a boat. Hoseok now knew she was terrible at painting, not really into fishing, and allergic to mango, unfortunately. And also that she was an asshole if you drank too much and left her alone with your friends, and that then she’d feel so guilty about it she’d be on the verge of tears all day if you looked at her funny.

Hoseok’s arm slid around her shoulders as he sipped through a pink straw. Alex tried to relax. They weren’t fighting! He regretted getting that drunk, it wouldn’t happen again tonight, and it had been a really fun day. They still had one whole day before they’d head home early Tuesday morning for her and Hoseok to make their afternoon shifts. There was still time for this vacation to be an overall success despite that early bump.

Alex let her head fall to his shoulder. The PDA made her nervous at first but Milena and Tate were the same way, there were couples everywhere, and she wanted to be one of those girls for a while. She had a hot boyfriend who had taken her hurt feelings seriously and wanted his arm around her in the pool. His loud laugh echoed around the space, even through the noise of children shouting, unnecessarily loud music playing over speakers, and a noisy volleyball game not far off.

“It’s getting late, shouldn’t those children go to bed?” Luisa mused, only to be laughed at by Seokjin, “All right, old lady! Go tell them, no more summer vacation!” The pool was supposed to be no kids after 8pm, and it was now 8pm. As if cued, one of the kids took a running jump over them and cannonballed, sending a wave of water over them.

“Kid, scram!” Alex shouted at him, nerves frayed by the long (but good! But long…) day. The kid just completely ignored her, but the mother on the far side of the pool had clearly heard and gave Alex a hard look. “It’s after eight now! No kids in the outdoor pool area!”

“Alex,” Hoseok murmured, squeezing her shoulder. The mom looked even angrier and walked away.

Luisa shrugged, “Alex is right.”

“Yeah, but…” Seokjin murmured and then shrugged it off. 

“Kids shouldn’t be running around adults getting drunk in the pool,” Tate agreed. 

“Let the resort staff handle it,” Hoseok insisted, patting Alex’s shoulder and lifting his mocktail. “Nothing we need to worry about. Want something to eat? Woaaaah the lights just changed, didn’t they?”

They had, lowering to a more atmospheric setting. The underwater lights came on. And sure enough, resort staff came through to sweep the families out. It was a much different vibe with just adults, and even without alcohol, Alex found herself relaxing more as the sun went down. She leaned against Hoseok or followed Luisa and Milena to get more drinks or snacks. She splashed around in the crisp water of the pool. Alex liked kids just fine! But the vision she had for this romantic getaway was definitely better served now by low lights, no kids, one glass of wine, and a fully present boyfriend. 

Luisa and Seokjin were actually the first to call it a night tonight, and Tate and Milena followed not long after that, claiming sun fatigue. Alex looked to Hoseok but he’d just gotten a new round of drinks for them, and she didn’t feel any need to rush out. In fact, watching the way the water beaded on his sun-kissed skin as he eased into the water was exactly what she wanted to do right now. 

Another thing Alex had not known about Hoseok before they started dating was that he had been a dancer for most of his life, even in college. Mostly hip hop, a couple years on a b-boy crew, a few years of jazz, ballet when he was younger. Though he’d ultimately decided not to continue into that line professionally, he’d retained a lot of the lean muscle. The shape of his body was graceful, softer than someone who worked out in the gym all the time like Jungkook’s, but still shaped by years of hard work.You could look at him in his swim trunks and know he had been a dancer or an athlete. It was so clear to Alex in the way his body slid into the water beside her in the hot tub. 

They were alone in it, one of several around the resort that probably saw more use in the wintertime. This one was off to the side and overlooking the water but hidden from the brighter lights, so maybe overlooked by the other guests still milling around the pool or drinking at the bar.

“I can’t stay in here long,” she warned him, lifting the hair off her neck and gripping it on top of her head. 

“Yeah, me neither. Watch, I’m going to get all red and sweaty again… but it’s fun when you jump into the pool then, right? You get all those tingles.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a hot tub, I barely remember…” She trailed off, watching a bead of water slide down from his temples. He kept glancing at her and then quickly away and she worried her face was doing something bad. Something like showing obvious hunger. 

Suddenly his hand slid across her leg and he pressed against her side, sitting closer as he leaned in to whisper, “You look really pretty with your hair up like that.”

“This rat’s nest?!” she asked, not sure how else to respond. She was so caught off guard by his closeness and the comment, she immediately dropped her hair, ruining the thing he had just praised. Before she could grab it to try and pile up again in an attempt to keep doing a thing he liked, he slid his hands into it, around the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss. A kiss kiss. A kiss that made her feel like if he had seen the hunger on her face, it was because he felt it too. With that kiss, any little shadow lingering about the night before was gone. Her skin burned as she twisted in the warm water to better reach him. 

Just as her fingers touched his chest though, she remembered where they were –out in public, in a public hot tub. She quickly pulled away, lips tingling as strongly as her skin.

“Sorry…” he murmured.

“No, uh, sorry… forgot we’re in public…”

“I swear I’m not drunk.”

“Me either,” she quickly assured him. “I just…”

“Your bathing suit is really…”

She looked down at it, almost bracing for whatever attempt at flattery he could give. Alex did not really like bathing suits. This one was ok, ruched blue gingham that gave her a retro vibe she didn’t think was actually her style. But it was kind of cute and comfortable and she didn’t have to worry about anything slipping out. It had taken her years to not feel self conscious in a swimsuit around other people but she’d come around and if he said something that sounded hollow, it was going to crush her.

He didn’t say anything.

“Really what?”

“Huh?”

“Really what?”

“Ah I don’t know what i was going to say,” he admitted with a wide smile. “I got distracted…”

“By…” He didn’t continue but he gave her this plaintive look that just seemed to beg kiss me. So she did, this time gripping his shoulder to twist him to her. His fingers dragged burning water along her jaw and down her throat. His thumb slid under the halter top tie and Alex felt like he might as well have jammed that thumb right into her pussy for how turned on she was by this point.

“Hobi,” she sighed between kisses.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked.

“No! No of course not–”

“I’ll stay here as late as you want–”

“Hey are you not wanting to have sex with me and that’s why it’s been so long or–”

“Fuck no! I mean, fuck no, I don’t not… not want— I want to have sex with you,” he said, garbled and as confused sounding as she was. The heat was getting to her head. Everything felt so hot to touch and his mouth was hot to taste and when his fingers dug into the skin of her back to pull her close, Alex wanted to whimper. Whimper. No guy had ever made her want to whimper before. 

“Me too,” she said. “I want to have sex with you too.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“Really?” he laughed and looked at her, eyes wide, mouth open. When she nodded and began to push out of the hot tub, he quickly overtook her, grabbing their towels and flip flops like they were late to a meeting. Alex shivered at the cooler air on flushed skin but barely even stopped to wrap the towel around her. She wanted this, Hoseok wanted this, and she wasn’t about to let anything slow this train down. 

The walk itself could have done it. It was late and despite feeling drunk, Alex wasn’t. Their room was far enough, it was just enough time for her to get nervous. What if she fucked this up? What if she wasn’t any good? She thought about the lingerie hidden in the bottom of her bag. Would it slow things down for her to take a bathroom break and rinse off and change? Would it give her too much time to overthink all the things she was overthinking right now?

Hoseok unlocked the door and let her in, then locked it behind them. Then immediately kissed her again, even though he had to hunch forward and hold her shoulders not to topple. It made her giggle. He giggled too, all the way until they reached the bed.

“My bathing suit is wet,” she said, right before she thought he was going to kiss her down onto it. Fuck, guys really did that?

“So take it off,” he smiled. 

“Yeah you too!”

“Yeah, me too,” he repeated, kissing her again as his fingers worked at the laces on the front of his swim trunks. Alex had a much harder time after letting her towel fall. Untying the halter was fine, but there was nothing sexy about wriggling out of a wet one-piece bathing suit. She tried to hurry so Hoseok would be too busy kissing her to look, but then he suddenly pulled away and crouched down at her hips, hooking his fingers into the wet material clinging around her thighs. She was just whole-ass naked right in front of his face, whole entire body exposed.

He smiled up at her and yanked the fabric down to her feet, a hand on her hip as she stepped out of it. Nothing wavered in his expression to show he was shocked by her nakedness, or disappointed, or even unsure. His hands roamed her skin as he stood to kiss her again.

“Should I stand on the bed?” she joked.

“It’s ok if you don’t actually want to go through with this–”

“No, I do!” she gasped, realizing he’d misunderstood her humor. “I’m just… maybe a little out of practice but…”

His smile widened as he slid his arm around her body, pulling her against his chest. Holy shit they were so naked. 

His breath rustled her hair as he murmured, “Then it’s a good thing we have all night to practice.” 

Alex nodded dumbly, suddenly too distracted by the dick beginning to press more firmly against her stomach. She leaned back so she could see because she wasn’t the only one incredibly naked right now. Hoseok slid down onto the bed and took her hand and pulled her up to the pillows with him. They stretched out, kissing, hands lazy against hips and shoulders. 

It just felt so natural. The kisses moved her quickly away from the nerves that had crept up once they left the hot tub. When hands began to roam, it felt good, not frightening at all. It couldn’t be real that she had her hand wrapped around Hoseok’s cock and yet she did and he liked it and oh, what a cock it was! He kissed through her clumsiness, he guided her hands, he took the lead when it came to condoms and lube and lining himself up. By the time he was nestled fully inside her, Alex felt good about this. Great! Hoseok’s cock was straight up in her pussy! Finally! 

“You doing ok?” he asked as he slid in and out of her, hands braced on either side of her head.

“More than ok,” she assured him. Worried that meant he didn’t know she liked it, she moaned. Did that sound sincere?

“Good, baby. That’s good…” 

Alex practically heard the record scratch in her head. Baby. That was what Jungkook called women and she had not thought just hearing the word would bring him so forcefully to mind, but it did, and that was not welcome when she finally was getting fucked by her boyfriend!

“Mmm, call me something else, not baby,” she said, trying to moan it so it would sound sexy. 

“No?” Hoseok looked shocked but started laughing and didn't stop his slow thrusts. “What about…” His hands drifted up her body, only ghosting over her tits before sliding back down to her hips. 

“What about…”

“I forgot what I was saying,” he admitted with a laugh. “You’re so sexy.”

“I’m…” Alex had been going to say she wasn’t. But how many times had she heard Jungkook rail about women saying things like that about themselves? It’s such a moodkill! I’m not thinking that while I’m fucking her! I’m fucking her because she’s hot! Does she want me to stop and comfort her? Why is she thinking about herself like that right now? Just own your hotness!

“Close?”

“Oh…” She trailed off. No, she wasn’t, but this was good! She was enjoying it! She’d get there! 

“Damn, Alex…” He leaned down, brushing his nose against hers. “I’m so glad we’re doing this… I’m so glad you came here with me.”

“Me too. Thank you for bringing me–”

He interrupted her with a kiss and Alex decided to stop talking so much because wow, this angle…

She did cum, and enjoyed it very much. They fell asleep before getting to practice all night. Alex didn’t feel like she’d demonstrated any particular skill, but it had definitely gone better than things back in the day with Yoongi. The relief of that was worth everything. Even just getting to cum was so crazy! Hoseok’s fingers spinning circles around her clit had finished her. She’d been half asleep by the time he got back from dumping the condom. 

In the morning, he’d woken her up brushing her hair back over her shoulder.

“Hey,” he’d said quietly. “Sorry we fell asleep after I talked so big about practicing all night…”

“Yeah, me too! Really got my hopes up and all I got was one orgasm? Real sucker of you,” she joked.

“Make it up to you now?”

“What time is it?” she asked, only pretending to be serious. “Don’t we need to meet your friends–”

“Who cares.” He kissed her and she didn’t even joke about it again, just lost herself in the sight of Hoseok’s body moving over hers in the morning light. 

*

[Alex]: ok I get it now

[JK]: get what?

[Alex]: sex

[Alex]: it’s so cool

[JK]: good 4 u

[Alex]: yeah it is 😉

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[radiowallet]

 December 13th - Decorating

Summary: Marcus helps decorate his mom’s house. Could be  considered a follow-up to One More.

Pairing: Marcus x Wife (Female Reader)

WC: 1K

Warnings: M, Language, alluding to sexy times, fluff, fluff, fluff

Thank you so much to @toomanystoriessolittletime​ for putting together the holiday prompt list. 

“Mom, do you think maybe we could just hire someone to decorate your house this year?”

“What? You can decorate your own house but not your mother’s? What kind of Christmas message does that send? I know I raised you better than that.”

“Sí, Mamí,” Marcus agrees, holding back the heavy sigh that sits high in his throat, eyeing the huge plastic bins of holiday decorations sitting innocently in his mother’s driveway, before looking back up at the wide expanse of his childhood home. It seemed like such a great place to live growing up, back when Dad was around to help with the overall maintenance, upkeep of the lawn, the gardens, and yes, decorating at Christmas time. He considers making a play one more time with Anita, maybe offering to pay the landscaping company to hang everything, but he knows the guilt trip will just be laid on even thicker, and he was already freezing his ass off.  Best just to get this over with. 

“I am not hearing the clang of a ladder, mijo.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” he shouts, unable to keep the tension out of his voice anymore, shouting in the direction of the front door, knowing full well his mother is probably so deep into the house she can’t hear him. Or even cared to. 

“I’m goin,” a little voice behind him floats up to his ears as he opens up the ladder, and he can’t help himself, sneaking a glance back at you and Missy, grinning where the two of you are sitting in the driveway, the three year old collecting rocks between her chubby fingers from her abuelita’s pathway, making an oblong shape around the two of you, leaves and blades of grass sprinkled in between the rocks. 

“Are you copying daddy, princessa?” Marcus teases, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes, grinning triumphantly when a giggle escapes their daughter’s lips. “What are you two girls working on here?”

“It’s a fairy ring, daddy,” Missy supplies, the tone of her voice definitely implying that is something he should have already known. 

“Oh, of course, my mistake. Are you and mommy are fairies?” 

The three year old looks up at him, clearly unimpressed with his line of questioning, a miniature furrow in her brow, hands placed firmly on her hips. Behind her, you have a hand clamped over your mouth, trying and failing to hold back a snicker, something you tend to do when Missy does something particularly Moreno-like. 

“No, daddy, we’re trying to catch the fairies.”  She rolls her eyes about as elegantly as a three year old can, a trait he wants to point out that is 100 percent you, but you’re smirking at him now, eyes shifting between him and the ladder. 

“You’re stalling.”   

“What? N-no! I’m having a riveting conversation about fairies with my daughter. The decorations can wait for that, don't you think?”

Missy unfortunately didn’t get the memo, already moving on to the next layer of rocks, ignoring her parents for the time being as she arranges her circle just so. 

“Do you need me to help hang the decorations, Marcus?”

He glares down at his wife, refusing to acknowledge her question, extremely familiar with her teasing at this point. Instead he chooses to admire the hunter green leggings she slipped on beneath her sweatshirt this morning and how they cling perfectly to curves. At the back of his mind he’s wondering if his mom would mind a grandma/granddaughter sleepover tonight, giving the two of you some much needed time alone. Maybe if he claimed they needed the time to wrap presents or casually slip in they were trying for that second baby?

No, that would just earn him a night on the couch, Anita most certainly unable to keep any sort of teasing to herself, and you’d be flustered and caught off guard. You hated being caught off guard. You had only just started trying a week ago, and like you had explained multiple times, much to Marcus’s chagrin, just because you stopped taking your birth control doesn’t mean your body is automatically ready to go. You had tried explaining period math to him, but he got a little mixed up and ended up shaking his head and promising he trusted whatever you said at that point. 

That talk would definitely be best suited to you when Missy got older. He was happy to be the one to run out for tampons and chocolate every single month instead. 

“What are you looking at, mi amor?”

He smiles down at you, hoping the look in his eyes is enough implication, words becoming a little more difficult with the small parrot a few feet away. Judging from the heat in your cheeks and the shy downturn of your eyes, you are very much aware of what he’s looking at. 

“How about after I’m done here we get Missy a happy meal and an early bedtime? Then maybe a little picnic date night in the living room?”

You hum, resting your chin on your knees and tilting your smile in his direction. “Frozen pizza and cheap beer?”

“Mmm, perfecto.”

He leans down for a kiss, letting his lips linger a hair longer, the taste of chocolate and peppermint clinging to you from your earlier coffee run. 

“You do know to actually get to tonight you need to get this house decorated, yeah?”

He groans audibly, head falling down between his shoulders. You giggle and Missy joins in, the two of you terrible in all of your shared mirth and cuteness. 

“I really hate ladders,” he mutters, pulling open the first box of decorations and slinging a few wreaths in his arm, marching back towards the ladder with all the enthusiasm of a man destined for the gallows. 

“Is this because of that time Miracle Guy dropped you?”

“From 30 feet in the air! Miracle Guy dropped me from 30 fucking feet in the air!”

A tiny little voice rings out behind him, clear and bright, not missing a single beat. “Fucking feet!”

“…outstanding.”

Main Masterlist

31 Days for Marcus Moreno Masterlist

Tag List: @nolanell @honestly-shite @leslie-lyman  @gingersnappe-9 @mandocrasis @dobbyjen @sergeantbannerbarnes @lowlights @cowboy-turtle @mindidjarin @alm0501​ @castleamc​ @tintinn16​ @hnt-escape​ @prostitute-robot-from-the-future​ @magpie-to-the-morning​ @jazzelsaur​ @mylovelycomandante​

[dameronology]

love in the time of p.t.a. meetings {marcus moreno} - 4/5

summary: after a few months of slightly chaotic bliss, you & marcus start to think about the next steps in your relationship. {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing 

this is up a little later than i wanted & i do apologise, i once again stayed up all night and i cannot recount a single thing i’ve done. enjoy!

- jazz

Things between you and Marcus quickly fell into a routine.

You kind of had to when you both had kids; their lives needed structure. Depended on it, in fact. It wasn’t long before both of your lives were entangled in more ways than one, mostly for the sake of Missy and Jack having security around them but also because things between you were so good. Neither of you were trying to rush by any means, but when it worked, it worked. You were both good at communicating with each other - not that many issues really cropped up - and you both understood that your children came first. Things progressed easily and naturally, and he made you feel secure enough that you didn’t have to question whether or not it was too good to be true. 

Five months had quickly passed and you were both comfortable. Marcus Moreno was your boyfriend and it wasn’t a big deal. Okay, it had been at first - especially the first time he planted a kiss on your lips in front of the minivan brigade - but now? It was normal. It felt like he’d always been there, and you took it as a good sign. You got on well with Missy, especially since she’d witnessed your spat with Carol and started to think the world of you, and Jack...well, he was obsessed with Marcus. You couldn’t blame the kid. 

‘Jack! Put the soup down!’ 

It was another one of those mornings. It was a Sunday, so you didn’t have to worry about getting up early for school or work but you’d been at Marcus’ till late the night before. You and Jack ended up spending a lot of time at his; there was a swimming pool and a big garden for Optimus Prime to run around in, so it tired both of your tiny spawns out, which worked in your favour.

 Even when the kid had spent four hours swimming last night, he’d still risen that morning at 6AM like Jesus Christ on the third day. You’d woken to find the kitchen covered in smashed eggs and ham, then your oven had broken and the toilet was blocked again. 

You’d been halfway through reversing the problem when you’d heard Jack shuffling in the kitchen. You were stood in the hallway, still in your pyjamas, with a toilet brush in one hand and the other balled up into a fist. 

‘Jack, the soup is about to-’

You paused mid-sentence, watching as the bowl he was trying to reach for toppled straight off of the counter. You’d only washed his hair ten minutes ago, and you might as well have not fucking bothered because it was now covered in chunky vegetable soup. And the Chewbacca onesie he loved so much? Trying to peel that off him for the next few hours to wash the Heinz out of it was going to be a whole task in itself. You’d only just been to the laundrette the day before, and you’d gotten to the point in life where having a place with its own washing machine was a sign of success. 

‘Mum, there’s soup in my hair.’

‘It’s okay.’ You took a moment to breath. ‘We are not going to cry.’

‘I’m not crying.’

‘Wasn’t talking to you, buddy.’ You rubbed your temples for a moment. ‘C’mon, let’s go hop in the bath.’

So much of parenting was just...stopping to breath. Stopping to take a moment to remind yourself that although your love for your child was unwavering and unconditional, you sometimes felt like screaming. All you’d done for the last five hours was go in circles, cleaning and lecturing and cleaning some more. It made you wish you were at work that day, because at least then you could have conversations with people that weren’t about what cheese they wanted for lunch or what cartoon they wanted to watch. 

‘I just had a bath.’ Jack muttered. 

‘Yeah well, you need another one.’ You took another deep breath. ‘I’ll be there in a minute-’

‘- I don’t want a bath!’

‘And I don’t want a kid that’s covered in soup!’ You shot back. ‘C’mon, buddy. Just do as I say, please?’

Your conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door. You frowned for a moment - you weren’t expecting anyone. There was no post on Sundays and you hadn’t seen your landlord since the day you’d moved in. Your nosey neighbour knocked sometimes, usually asking about the noise (he didn’t have kids, clearly) and you were this close to telling him to mind his own fucking business. 

‘I swear to god, if that’s David again, I am going to shove this can of soup up his - Marcus!’ You almost did a double take when you saw your boyfriend stood at the door - he really chose his times, didn’t he? You hadn’t even had time to put the fucking toilet brush down. ‘Hey.’ 

‘Hey, baby.’ He greeted you slowly, eyes slowly taking in your appearance (and not in a sexy way). ‘Were you not expecting me?’

‘Shit, did we have plans?’ Your eyes widened. 

‘No, but Jack called. He said you’d asked him to ask me to come over, but I realise half way through that sentence that starting with Jack called probably means you had no idea.’ He offered you a goofy smile. ‘He said that the sofa had exploded and that you needed help.’

There was a lot to unpack there. When had Jack done that? More to the point, when had he learnt to use the phone? How had he worked out your phone password? The kid couldn’t do up his own velcro and now he was a Russian hacker, apparently. 

‘Oh my god.’ You groaned. ‘I am so sorry. Things have been batshit here this morning and I’m sure he had my best interests in his weird little heart, but he made you come all this way-’

‘- Marcus!’ Speaking of the devil.

Jack pushed past you, wrapping his arms around Marcus’ waist. He leant down to pick him up, lifting him off the ground - albeit at a distance, due to Soupgate. 

‘Hey, buddy.’ He greeted him. ‘You been causing trouble again?’

‘Not on purpose.’ Jack replied. ‘Mum says I need another bath.’

‘I think she’s right.’ Marcus said. ‘Why don’t you go pick out some clothes and come back in a minute, yeah?’

‘Okay!’ Seemingly impressed by the newfound trust in him to choose an outfit, Jack wriggled himself back down to the floor, trotting towards his bedroom. Seriously, how did Marcus do that? Perhaps his ability to have authority over your archaic child was another hidden power of his. 

‘You look like you need a break, baby.’ He reached out, gently running a hand down your arm.

‘I’m fine, he’s just been a lot today.’ You sighed.

‘You have soup on your shirt and fluff in your hair.’

‘Couch stuffing.’

‘Huh?’

‘It’s couch stuffing. Except that was Optimus Prime and not Jack, which makes a nice change.’ You muttered.

‘Look, Missy is at her abuela’s today and she’s been begging for ages to see Jack again.’ He said. ‘What d’you say I drive him over there, you clean up and we hang out? Just us, no kids, no dogs, no stress.’

‘That sounds like a fucking dream.’ You couldn’t help but smile. ‘But Optimus has consumed half the couch and I gotta keep an eye on him-’

‘-we can bring him with us!’ Marcus grinned. ‘He loves the garden.’

‘Are you sure? Because I remember you saying you had work plans today and I don’t want you to cancel them on account for the fact I can’t control my own kid. Or life.’

‘You two come first.’ He said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. ‘Three, including Optimus Prime.’

--

In the time it took Marcus to drive Jack to his mum’s and get back to yours, you were able to clean up. The apartment was still a state, but it hadn’t been properly tidy in...how many days had it been since Jack was born? Because it hadn’t been clean in exactly that many days. You felt a little bad dumping him on Anita when he was still covered in soup, but if anyone was able to wrestle him into the bath and some clean clothes, it was her. You’d met her a few times and she was absolutely lovely, but you had no doubt she could be terrifying when need be. She was the sort of woman you aspired to be.

By midday, you were driving out the city. There was music playing quietly over the radio and you were watching the houses go by; even though it was cold out, you had the heater on and you were bundled up in a leather jacket, Marcus’ scarf snugly around your neck. It smelt faintly of his aftershave, which had become one of your favourite scents over the last five months. The time had gone so quickly. You’d seen each other practically every day since then, and having the kids meant you’d been fallen into being domestic pretty quickly. The simplicity of it all - him and you and getting to this point so easily - was overwhelming in itself. 

Your first relationship had been so complicated - so finicky and filled with unnecessary arguments. That should have been a sign early on, but then you’d gotten pregnant with Jack and getting married had seemed like the obvious thing to do. His presence meant you wouldn’t have changed anything, not for the entire fucking world, but it made you a little sad to think about how long you’d wasted on what had clearly been the wrong person. Meanwhile, Marcus’ situation had been entirely different; he’d had the right person the first time around and then he’d lost them. You never felt like a replacement to his wife, or even thought about the notion, really. That had been another part of his life. You were a new part and it didn’t mean he was forgetting the past. The two could co-exist without taking away from each other. 

‘You’re deep in thought.’ Marcus observed. He moved one of his hands to rest on your leg, giving it a light squeeze. He did that a lot, usually whenever you were sat beside him at the table or on the sofa. It was just a him thing. 

‘Yeah, sorry.’ You tore your gaze away from the window. ‘My brain always goes a little into overdrive when things are quiet.’

He chuckled. ‘What’s on your mind?’

‘You, actually.’ You tangled your fingers with his, thumb brushing over the back of his hand. ‘I was just thinking about lucky I am and how good things are, and how it almost feels too good to be true.’

‘Better believe it, baby.’ He replied. ‘Because it is true.’

‘I know.’ You peered over at him with a smile. ‘It’s just...my only perceptions of relationships were based on the single one I’ve had. Everything was so complicated and exhausting. This is completely different and it’s so nice. And normal. And I don’t know, that sounds stupid-’

‘- it’s not stupid at all.’ Marcus peered over at you, shaking his head. ‘It’s natural to be a little apprehensive after a bad relationship and if there’s anything I can do to help, you just have to tell me. You know that, right?’

Maybe it was the way he said it, or maybe it was just him, but you knew for certain that he meant that. There was sort of a silent agreement now that you were both in this for the long haul. Your mum had always said that you’ll know when you know but you’d always written that off. Mostly because you hadn’t known the first time round. But, now you did. You did know and though you weren’t going to admit that to Marcus, you never doubted him for a second. 

‘I do.’ You said. ‘But he’s in the past now - and hopefully it’s where he fucking stays.’

‘I have contacts. I can find him and set Miracle Guy on him.’ Marcus’ grin had returned. ‘Just say the word.’

‘You make a tempting offer.’ You smiled back at him. ‘But the past is the past and I’m ready to...slam the lid on that dumpster.’

‘Do you think he’ll ever want to come back into Jack’s life?’

You pondered for a moment. ‘I don’t think so, but if he did, I dunno if I’d let him. I never wanna be the person who stops someone from seeing their kids but what he did was...it was unforgivable.’

‘You don’t have to make that decision until it actually happens.’ Marcus gently said. ‘And I’ll support whatever you choose.’

He pulled into the drive way of his house - his nice, clean, sofa-stuffing-and-soup free house. Optimus Prime leapt out the car as soon as the door was open, practically tearing past the two of you and down towards the yard. There was a moment of silence and then a splash!

‘Guess he found the pool.’ Marcus commented. ‘At least it’s heated, I s’pose.’

Truth be told, he loved having the three of you at his house. It felt like whatever had been missing before was slowly making an appearance as your relationship progressed. The irony was that you brought nothing but chaos and clutter with you, but that was exactly what made it feel like a home. It was small things; the painting that Jack had done for him at after school club was now hung up up on the fridge, and there was a photo of him and Missy on the fireplace with Optimus Prime. Half of the thousands of blankets of pillows that had been at your place had ended up on his sofa, thanks to the countless sleepovers. 

If he could have it his way, Marcus would have you live with here all the time. The energy that you and Jack brought made everything feel complete. He loved the evenings where Missy and Jack would play out in the pool, and you two would sit back inside, complaining about the cold. Then there were the nights where you’d take both the kids back here when he was working late, and he’d come home to find you piled on the couch watching an old movie, with your burnt cooking abandoned on the stove, surrounded by boxes of left over take out. It was the kind of thing that was so simple and so domestic, but it was everything he wanted. 

That was probably the flashpoint moment when Marcus Moreno realised he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He already knew he loved you - he’d worked that out about three months in, when you’d fallen asleep in one of his shirts whilst trying to wait up for him - but he hadn’t said it. He’d hinted at it and made back-handed comments but he’d barely admitted it to himself, let alone to anyone else. He knew what you and Jack had gone through before and it broke his entire fucking heart. You both deserved someone who stand by you and support you, someone who would embrace you both for the craziness and warm energy you brought everywhere with you. More than ever, he was realising he wanted to be that person who gave it you. After all, you’d made his life so much brighter without even trying.

Snapping out of his trance, Marcus looked over at you. You’d already ditched your shoes and dropped onto the sofa, pulling one of the blankets with you. This was exactly what you needed. A quiet house, your favourite person and a cable knit blanket. 

‘Hey, baby?’ 

You looked over at him, smiling at the name. ‘Yeah?’

‘You know I love you, right?’

You blinked in surprise, sitting up. ‘I know.’

‘You do?’

‘You’ve never said it, but I can tell.’ You nodded, before offering a smile. ‘And I love you too.’

‘I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.’ He slowly approached you, dropping onto the sofa beside you and taking your hands in his. ‘I think I just got so caught up in everything and feeling everything that I forgot.’

‘Why are you apologising?’ You couldn’t help but scoff at him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. ‘It’s your actions that say it, Marc. Hearing it is good but you showed it a long time ago.’

‘I know, but really you deserve to hear it everyday.’ He smiled against you, helping you move onto his lap. 

‘You do tell me everyday, with the things you do.’ You reminded him. ‘Like meeting me in the parking lot with coffee, or bribing Jack into going to bed early with video messages from your superheroes, or doing my grocery shopping when you know money is short.’

‘Why wouldn’t I do those things?’ Marcus seemed genuinely confused. ‘It’s you.’

‘I love you.’ You repeated the phrase. 

‘And I love you.’

He pulled you into another kiss - this time it was a little firmer, not unlike your second declaration of love. Marcus did all those things without thinking, simply out of his intense want for you to just be happy. He was the same with Missy, always doing little things to make her life easier just because. It was just part of who he was, and it made him happy to see his loved ones happy. 

With your body pressed against his and your hands tangled in your hair, Marcus realised he didn’t want you to ever leave again. He didn’t want you to have to drive home in the dark at ten because all of your stuff was on the other side of town. You did stay over sometimes, but then you’d have to creep out at 6AM with a sleeping Jack in your arms to get home in time to get ready. He wanted you here all the time. You should have been here all the time. 

‘Move in with me?’ 

He both did and didn’t mean to say it out loud. He did because he wanted you so badly to be a permanent fixture in the house, but he also didn’t because the idea might have been a little absurd. Was it too soon? What if you didn’t want to leave your place? He knew you loved your apartment. It was your home and had been for a long time.

‘What?!’ You suddenly pulled back from the kiss, eyes wide. 

‘I mean...if you want to.’ Marcus slowly said. ‘Hell, Missy and I can move to your place if that’s what you want. It might be tight but she loves the dog and I just want to be with you-’

‘- hey!’ You cut him off, planting your hands on his shoulders. ‘You’re rambling again, but that’s besides the point. I would love to live here.’

‘You would?’

‘I would.’ You smiled. 

It made sense. Aside from the glaringly obvious fact you wanted to, it was also practical. It was closer to the school, closer to your work and it had a fucking swimming pool. Marcus was already clearly financially secure and moving in wouldn’t mean relying on him, but it would have meant that things for Jack were a lot more stable. Missy loved the company of you both, and it meant she would finally have the dog she wanted so bad. 

‘Missy would be okay with it, right?’ You asked.

‘She was the one who put the idea in my head, actually.’ Marcus admitted. ‘I’d thought about it but then she kind of asked in passing why you don’t live here, and I couldn’t give her an answer.’

‘Your kid is smart.’

‘D’you think Jack will-’

‘- I’m going to stop you there.’ You cut him off.

‘Right, I probably don’t need to ask that question.’ He chuckled.

‘Exactly.’ You pressed a kiss to his nose. ‘Don’t forget the dog, either.’

‘How could I? I can literally see him peeing on my lawn right now.’

‘Our lawn.’

--

Exactly three weeks later - and after a hefty amount of paperwork and hours of sorting through Jack’s endless amounts of crap that he insisted on hoarding - moving day came. 

Anita had insisted on having the kids again. They were both excited, but perhaps a little too much. They were probably more likely to get in the way of things if anything. Children, a dog and large boxes? It seemed like a match made in hell. Plus, she had a whole ass training course in her back garden and if that didn’t wear the kid out, then you were definitely going to take him to the Heroics to get tested. The thought alone was enough to tire you out. 

You didn’t have too much stuff to move. You’d been half-moved into the damn place before Marcus had even made the formal proposal, so that made things a lot easier. You were keeping your sofa for Jack’s room, but the rest was going to Goodwill. Most of it had come from there in the first place.

‘I think that’s the last box.’ Marcus announced, exiting the bedroom. ‘I didn’t realise that a five year could own so many variations of storm-trooper toys.’

‘Oh, yeah.’ You replied. ‘There’s the original trilogy ones, sequel trilogy ones, dark troopers, shock troopers, clone troopers - and I realise half way through listing them that you don’t care.’

‘I never said that!’ He placed his hands on your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. ‘I’m excited to learn.’

‘I’m sure Jack is excited to tell you.’ You grinned. 

Then, it faltered slightly with the realisation you were actually leaving this place. You’d never intended for it to be your permanent home, but it had still been the centre of your entire universe for half a decade. Every room told a story; the crayon marks on the bathroom wall, the dents behind the TV from, the crack in the living room mirror. All caused by Jack, naturally. The last five years was contained entirely within these four walls and you got bleary eyed at the idea of it becoming someone else’s. 

‘Hey, don’t cry.’ Marcus gently wiped away a tear from your cheek. 

‘You know, the rent is still paid till the end of the month so we could revisit the idea of you and Missy living here instead.’ You tearfully smiled. 

‘You’re kidding but you know I’ll do it.’ He pressed another kiss to your nose, grip on your arms tightening. 

‘It’s okay.’ You moved so that the kiss landed on your mouth instead, capturing his lips in a brief kiss. ‘I knew we were gonna outgrow this place. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.’

‘I know. Still kinda feels like it all came out of no-where, huh?’ He replied. ‘In the best way.’

‘You’re right. In the best way.’ You firmly nodded. ‘Can you believe I was 23 when I moved into this place? I found it on Craiglist within ten minutes of finding out I was pregnant.’

‘Do you wanna take a minute before we go?’

‘No, it’s fine.’ You shook your head. ‘We should get going.’

The apartment was just that: an apartment. And the house you were going to was just that: a house. But the people you were with? That’s what made it count. It wasn’t about the four walls or the roof over your head, or whether or not it had a big yard and a jacuzzi bath tub (though, that did help). It was about the laughter and warmth inside; the faces in the photos on the wall and the people you came home to after a long day. It was the smell of your burnt cooking and the pizza you’d ordered in place. It was Jack’s toys left in the exact place where someone could trip and it was Missy using all the hot water in the morning so that Marcus’ showers were practically arctic. It was everyday things that reminded you of the people around you; the people that made it home, and how lucky you were to have them.

That was home. And you’d found yours. 

taglist: @naivara-duneimith @1-2-3-4-5metalfingers @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky​ @lyanna-the-giantsbane @phoenixhalliwell @crazycookiecrumbles​ @bitchin-beskar​ @comphersjost

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Rita Moreno (Singin' in the Rain, West Side Story)—She’s an EGOT, an absolute legend for how she navigated her career as a woman of color in the fifties and sixties. Her performance as Anita in West Side Story is why I go back to that movie so many times. She is an icon and she is the moment.

Angela Lansbury (The Harvey Girls, The Court Jester, The Manchurian Candidate)—The babe, the myth, the legend. In her own words her early hollywood roles were "a series of venal bitches" and they were all glorious. Half of them wanted to kill you and you probably would have thanked them. She even goes toe to toe with Judy Garland in The Harvey Girls! That said, she was chronically underused and misused during this era - she was just 36 when she was cast as Elvis Presley's mother in Blue Hawaii and a few years later commented that she'd played so many 'old hags' that most people thought she was in her 60s. She thought she was "all talent, no looks" but she was the full package! Post-1970 I hope we all know what an incredibly talented and compassionate badass she was, but I feel like not enough people know her early roles as a hot (often villainous) young thing.

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Rita Moreno propaganda:

"Amazing showstopping actress in her one big memorable role as Anita in West Side Story. She sings and dances with unmatched joy and energy, and then breaks your heart with her acting. Rita took a role that felt as a stereotype to latina women and made it compelling and multifaceted. Her subsequent career was filled with mostly side roles, but she still managed to excel in whatever Hollywood threw at her."

"It’s Rita!! The EGOT herself! She can act, she can sing, she can dance, a triple threat. Obviously absolutely iconic as Anita in West Side Story (her part of the Tonight Quintet is the sexiest part of the film, fight me). But before that she was the amazing Zelda in Singin’ In the Rain!?! Thanks Zelda, you’re a real pal."

"She continues to be amazing but also she's got legs for days."

"THEE iconic rita moreno, EGOT winner, civil rights activist, theatre legend. watch her documentary "Rita Moreno: Just a Girl Who Decided to Go for It". also her rendition of "fever" on the muppet show"

Angela Lansbury:

"Angela Lansbury might not be where your mind goes first when you think of hot leading women, because she had a later career revival. But she began acting in the early 1940s after leaving London due to the Blitz. In the first couple decades of her film career she has an openness about her. She said she never really fit in with the Hollywood crowd and to me she gives off a friendly, untarnished vibe."

64.media.tumblr.com

64.media.tumblr.com

"Most of us know Angela Lansbury as old lady sleuth Jessica Fletcher, but it's important to know that she was smoking hot in her younger days as well as a damned fine actress. Although she didn't get lead roles until her early 40s, at 17 she was a supporting actress in films such as Gaslight (1944), National Velvet (1944), and The Picture of Dorian Grey, for which she won the Golden Globe for best supporting actress and was nominated for the Oscar. Even in her memorable performance as the manipulative mother in The Manchurian Candidate, she is listed as a supporting actress as she does not play the love interest. She was successful both on stage and screen, and won the Tony for her lead role in the musical Mame on Broadway in 1966. TL;DR While Angela Lansbury mostly played supporting roles in films before 1970, she had what it takes to be a leading actress, which we know from her success on stage and tv from the mid 60s onward"

"She looked like a princess but bit like a viper"

"Is there anything this woman couldn't do? Act in comedy and drama, sing, dance, be a wonderful human being - quite simply a true and wonderful lady."

"she is the fairytale princess of my dreams in court jester"

"god she had such an incredible career all throughout her life really but as a young lady she was just as incredible as she was in her later years. enchanting voice, amazing personality, and absolutely GORGEOUS. she lamented not having the looks to play leads in romance but that idea is so batshit because look at her??? she's one of the most terrific women of all time. also she's my grandmother's favorite actress and i truly get it"

[footfetish22]

Anita Love looking very sexy in her short spring dress. Long, shapely legs and a beautiful smile!

[princesscandijane]

Males Reasons to Shave with some tips

A quick guide for those wanting to shave, but cannot seem to find the reasons to.  As well as some tips on how to shave.

Groin

As a favor for someone going down on you. Think about how much you enjoy pulling pubes out of your teeth. I shave my groin every morning, as part of my morning routine. Takes me no less time to shave my face if you do it daily, and I could probably go every other day without notice.

Shaving Groin

From various blogs and articles

Trim—Bust out your trimmer and prep the area by trimming off a good chunk of the bush before you dive in with a razor. This helps ensure that you have total visibility and don’t miss any important areas. Take your time, trimming in small sections starting at the bottom and working your way up to the stomach.

Shave—Generously apply shave cream that you can see through, creating a layer of cream about a millimeter thick on top of the areas where you want to shave. Holding the skin taut with one hand and taking it extra-slow with the other, lightly shave IN THE DIRECTION that the hair grows. Avoid using too much pressure. Rinse the razor with every pass and, when completely done shaving, rinse the body with warm water.

Use a new/sharp razor– DON’T use a dull blade or disposable razor.

Shave Your Balls—The golden rule of ball-shaving is to always hold the skin taut so there are no wrinkles or curves that could catch skin or cause cuts. 

Rinse with Cool Water—Make sure you give your junk a good rinse in cool water after you’re done shaving to soothe the skin and close the pores. This will also help prevent any ingrown hairs or irritation.

Asshole

Dingleberries. If you have ever had to wipe away a dingleberry, that should inspire you to at least trim around the asshole. Full shave can be difficult, but again, how attractive do you find a hairy ass? So consider trimming. I don’t shave completely because I’m worried about nicking something, so I wear a butt plug and shave around it.

Guide to Asshole shaving

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/27dh1x/how_do_i_shave_my_asshole/

Use a moustache/nose hair trimmer to trim off all the excess hair until it's short enough to feel like 2 day old stubble, and then apply good hair conditioner or shaving gel and exfoliate using a loofah or washcloth. The idea is to get all the hair up and on end and stimulate the skin while opening the pores; this avoids ingrown hair and razor burn, which you do not want on your butthole.

Now wash your butthole. Intensely. You do not want to leave any stone unturned, so to speak. Shove your soapy finger up there and really get your sphincters squeaky clean. Don't hurt yourself, just make sure you don't have any icky fecal matter or tiny sharp hair nuggets trapped in the mysterious crevices of your anal caverns.

Use a BRAND NEW 4-blade disposable razor/razor blade cartridge. Don't use a dull blade or you will regret it. Shave with the grain, first, not against it. Rinse after each and every stroke of the blade against your skin. Re-apply conditioner/gel and shave again, this time against the grain and again be sure to rinse after every stroke. Rinse completely and then give it a quick wash with some plain antibacterial soap (kills bacteria on the open skin so should avoid irritation from fecal matter etc that you may have missed during your butthole cleansing).

Now comes the rough part - preventative care. Grab a bottle of witch hazel and spritz it on a washcloth, and pat the fuck out of your butthole with that shit. IT WILL BURN LIKE HELL FOR A SECOND IF YOU DO IT RIGHT. It is not the end of the world. Your butthole is not on fire and you will live to poo another day. After witch hazel-ing the hell out of your ass, lay tummy-down on your bed or on a towel on the floor and either:

When your butthole has been sufficiently aired out and dried, apply non-scented women's roll-on deodorant. This sounds stupid and weird but trust me, it helps. Dove no-scent is the best I've found. This will avoid chafing while walking, irritation as the hair grows back, general stink, and will provide you with some cushioning.

Chest, Back, Arms, Armpits

Do you think any of them are naturally smooth? Once a week I take a nice hot bath, relax with a bowl and shave everything below my neck. Takes me an hour at most.

I think we can acknowledge that a smooth body is sexy regardless of gender.  How weird would it be for there to be hair

Vs. how is this for hair?

Once a week shaving. The more often you keep up with it the easier it is and the less time it takes.

Shaving Chest Tips

various blogs

Before beginning to shave, be sure to trim any long chest hairs to make the process easier.

Apply plenty of shaving gel over your chest and any other areas that you intend to shave.

Begin shaving, using short, gentle, and slow strokes for a clean shave without any nicks or cuts.

After each stroke, rinse the blade to avoid getting it clogged and causing a messy shave.

Once you’ve completed shaving and removed all unwanted hair, rinse your chest thoroughly and apply an aftershave product, such as the one that you use for your face.

Remember to also exfoliate the area twice a week with a quality body scrub to reduce the risk of ingrown hairs.

As the nipple is really sensitive and may not want to risk a nik, I recommend using a tweezer. Before you tweeze, take a hot shower—the heat will open up hair follicles, so it’s easier to grab the root—and pat the skin around your nipples dry. Pull each strand quickly and firmly in the direction your hair grows.

Shaving Armpit

from Men’s Health

Trim Your Armpit Hair First

If you’ve never shaved your underarms before, chances are you’ll need to trim those patches down for the easiest and most comfortable shave . It’ll make less of a mess in the shower as well (because nothing is worse than a clogged drain full of man-hair).

Exfoliate Your Under Arms Before Shaving

Sure, you don’t have to exfoliate, but you should to avoid pesky, painful ingrown hairs. A loofah or exfoliating body scrub will do the trick to remove dead skin cells and bacteria (along with any deodorant gunk) to help you achieve the smoothest shave without razor burn.

Shave Your Armpits Wet in the Shower

You can cut it dry, but Whitely recommends to do it in the shower. Hot water softens the hair and reduces the risk of pulled hair or nicks, he says. Shave towards the end of your time in the shower and use shaving gel for added moisture to prevent irritation.

Shave Slow and With a Good Razor

It's not a race, folks. To avoid razor burn and skin irritation, take it slow with your razor blade to make sure you get the closest shave. Unlike the hair on your face, underarm hair grows in all different directions, so make sure to shave sideways, as well top-to-bottom. Toss your old dull razor, and opt for one with a sharp blade and a pivoting head to move with the curves of your armpits for a more effective, easier shave.

Legs 

First shaved legs feel amazing.  Everyone deserves to know the feeling of freshly shaved legs. Second how are hairy legs, feet, and toes sexy?

Quick guide to shaving legs

Taken from Glamor and Cosmopolitan 

1. Trim

If it's the first time you're removing your leg hair, you might want to carefully trim the area with an electric razor. This will stop your razor clogging up, causing you to miss patches of hair.

2. Soak your skin before shaving

“Hydrating the hairs makes them up to 60 per cent easier to cut”, says Dr Anita Sturnham, Venus Ambassador. “Soak your skin for two to three minutes before shaving.”

Use warm water when you're bent over the bathtub in the middle of winter with goose bumps on your legs, it's tempting to have the shower on boiling hot. But hot water is not your friend when it comes to shaving because it closes your pores. Warm water opens your pores, allowing your hairs to soften (making the whole shaving process a lot smoother).

3. Do not lather your legs with shampoo

Dr Sturnham says using shampoo or body wash as shave prep can, “increase your risk of redness and irritation, and blunt your razor blades.”

4. Don't go ham on the shaving cream

You really only need a thin layer of shaving cream to do the job. Too much will clog up your blades, slowing down your shaving time and making it impossible to see where you already shaved. Of course you don't really need to buy shaving cream in the first place, hair conditioner works just as well (if not better).

5. Always shave against the direction hair growth

To get your closest shave possible, shave against the direction of your hair growth. For the legs, start at the ankle and work your way up towards the knee.If you’re using a good blade, this won’t cause any irritation and will cut the hair right at the root for a longer-lasting shave.

6. Don't apply too much pressure to your razor

Your razor shouldn’t make a dent in your skin in order to work.“ The razor should glide across the skin, not drag”, says Adam Boulding, Venus Scientific Communications. “Remember to use a light touch, exerting as little pressure as possible.”If you need to press your razor firmly to work, it can be a sign your blades need changing.

7. Short strokes

If you're shaving from your ankle to your knee in one long stroke, you are guaranteed to have missed hairs. It's just impossible for your razor to keep contact with every single hair for that long. That's why you need to shave with short strokes. Short strokes = less missed hairs.

8. Change your razor blades regularly

A blunt blade not only increases friction against the skin, but also the likelihood of missed hairs. There are many factors that can impact blade life, including your hair type, how much of your body you’re shaving and how you store your razor.  Roughly every ten shaves. If you shave daily then about every 1-2 weeks, if you shave 2-3 times a day then every 3-4 weeks. You should also change your blades whenever you start to feel tugging or pulling during your shave.

9. Don't use razors with less than four blades

The number of blades you use is actually super important. The less blades you have, the higher the chance of cuts and nicks.

“A razor with more blades means that the pressure is distributed across more evenly”, says Boulding. “Therefore less pressure is applied to any one spot of skin during the shave, reducing the probability of cuts.”

10. Use a manoeuvrable razor head

The second thing to look for in terms of razor quality is the manoeuvrability of the razor head. When it comes to the backs of knees and areas like ankles, where the bone is close to the skin surface, you need a razor that moves with the curves of your skin to glide over trickier areas. A stagnant blade will only increase the chance of missed hairs or cuts.

11. Always bend a knee

Knees are notoriously the most tricky spot to shave. The solution? Sarah says to slightly bend the knee.

“This will pull the skin tight before shaving, as folded skin is difficult to shave.”

Try propping your leg up on the side of the bath.

12. Don't forget your aftercare

If you suffer from red bumps after shaving, rinsing properly is a must post-shave. If you can bare cold water, this is even better to ensure the pores are closed.

Sarah also recommends leaving the skin to rest for at least 30 minutes before applying lotions or moisturisers, to avoid inflammation.

“If you must moisturise immediately following shaving, select a cream formula rather than a lotion, and avoid exfoliating moisturisers that may contain alpha hydroxy acids,” she adds. If not, it will sting!

[sif-the-tsunami]

Principal’s Pet

This is part of the Cavill School Writing Challenge. Thank you for @killjoy-assbutt-1112 for creating this idea and @oh-for-fic-sake for making the challenge. I would love feedback from anyone who will be kind enough to give it.

Warnings: Porn without plot. Smutty bondagey goodness. BDSM, Impact play, humiliation, degradation, language, Male Dom, Fem Sub, lactation, breeding, unprotected sex, exhibitionism. If I’m missing anything, let me know.  There is barely any backstory, I just love little scenarios like this. If you are not into impact play, this might not be your flavor. However, please don’t yuck my yum.

Pairing: Principal Cavill x Anita (ofc)

Word count: 2K

A mother’s lust

Smut below the cut!

Principal Cavill sat in his office, typing away at the report he was going to be submitting to the school board the next morning. The soft motorized sucking noise, a faint gasp and sultry moan filled the silence he left while pondering what to include next. His mechanical keyboard clacking rhythmically, he looked up from the screen and gazed at the woman tied to the chair next to his desk. She was one of the young, unwed mothers that had come to the Cavill Reform and Vocational School for Young Women seeking job skills from one of the programs they offered. The school had a private dormitory and child care for these women coming into the school for training. Some of the girls were there because other private schools would no longer take them, others were there because the school boasted a high success rate of getting the women hired after completion. Either way, over the years, it had developed a nickname. The girls enrolled referred to it as The Cavill School for Wayward Strumpets.

The strumpet currently soaking her panties on the wooden chair in his office was being punished for sneaking out after curfew. She evidently wanted to see her baby’s father. A few days ago, she had been in his office with her fussy baby, talking to him about how she didn’t know what she was going to do, but she appreciated the life skills she had been learning. She looked exhausted that afternoon. The principal asked her to hand the baby over to him. He gently rocked back and forth with the tiny infant in his arms. The little one let out a wail and then fell asleep.

“See, Anita, sometimes you just need to relax and the things you want will happen.” He said calmly. He looked at her big green eyes. Just below her eyes, he noticed the dampness growing across her breasts. The baby’s cries must have triggered her let down. He tried to keep his face neutral, but when she noticed, her face flushed deeply and he saw the humiliation written across her face. Between the breast milk, and that lovely blush that graced her face, he could feel himself stirring. She babbled an apology and covered herself. He offered her his dark blue sweater so she could go back to her dorm and change.  The sweater was so huge on her that it made him chuckle to himself. He handed the sleeping baby back to Anita and she shuffled off.

This morning, she was tied to the chair, school uniform skirt hiked up so he could see her little pink panties, her blouse was unbuttoned down to her waist, full tits pulled out over her bra cups with a fancy breast pump attached to her nipples. The pump had been draining her for the past twenty minutes and the milk pouches were almost completely full. Her pouty lips were held apart by a gag causing her to drool down her neck and chest. What the woman didn’t know was that the gag in her mouth was shaped after the head of Principal Cavill’s cock. He had shoved it her mouth after she wouldn’t stop backtalking to him in protest.

Anita let out a pained whimper. He said in a sweet tone “Oh dear, I should take those off of you, shouldn’t I. Your poor sensitive nipples.”

He removed the pumps from her chest. Eyeing the droplets left clinging on to her puffy, aching nipples, the Principal leaned forward and licked the liquid gold. The softness of his tongue after the harshness of the pump made her inhale sharply then moan. He fixed the pouches of milk and placed them in the little refrigerator in his office. He came back and started massaging her large breasts. Her eyes fluttered shut and she pushed her chest towards his hands. “You are a very good mummy, you know that right? You are doing the right thing for you and your little angel by being here. I see a lot of potential in you Anita, however, you still need to be punished.”

He took off his silk tie first, then his supple leather belt. He untied the young woman from the chair, and leaned her over his desk. She didn’t fight him at all. He used his silk tie to bind her arms behind her back. Stand behind her, he used one of his feet to spread her legs apart. He could see the pooling arousal in those light pink panties. “Little girl, you have earned fifteen lashes on this beautiful ass of yours. If you are a good girl and take this with some dignity, I’ll be sure to put in a good word with Mr Solo, and make sure he sends you something special for dinner. Alright?”

The bound woman nods her head. With his thick thumbs, he pulls the pink panties down by her knees. The first lash leaves a red welt across her perfect posterior. She yelps and flinches slightly. The second lash hits above the last, the next several hit different parts of her rump. By the ninth lash, he noticed that she was moaning more than yelping, raising her ass a little to meet the belt. Her sex glistened with her arousal. He paced out the last six as evenly as he could. Even with the special consideration he took with her backside, her skin was red and angry. He leaned forward to pull her panties back up for her when she arched her back and presented herself more to him. His office smelled like her gorgeous sex, and he wanted to bury himself in her rose colored core. He kissed one of the red welts gently. “You liked this, didn’t you? My little pain slut.”

Her eyes were dreamy as she nodded at him. He ran his hand up her thigh, stopping at the beautiful flower, begging to be watered. She pressed herself into his thumb that brushed against her sex. “You like feeling humiliated like this don’t you? Someone could just walk through that door and see what a slut you are for me. But I bet you want that, don’t you?”

Between the questions, he planted kisses on different welts, on the last one he bit down. The noise that came from around the gag in her mouth was primal and made his cock throb. He then had an idea, he wanted to test the limits of this little masochist in his grasp. He undid his tie on her wrists and then in a quick movement, he rolled her onto her back, and pushed her so her bottom and feet were on his desk. He took the straps from the chair and tied her wrists to the same side’s ankle leaving her pussy open and on display for him. He walked around to her head for a moment, taking in the beautiful tableau before him. Her breast still bare for him, nipples puffy and erect. He leaned down and whispered in her ear “I want to try something with you,” His voice was thick with desire. “None of my other students have seemed to enjoy their punishment as much as you have. I think we might both like this, but I need to know you trust me.”

Anita nodded her head, smirking behind the gag in her mouth. He leaned down and kissed her around the apparatus in her mouth. He trailed his mouth down her exposed skin, flicking his tongue on her sore nipples and he continued to her waiting center.

He fixed his belt in hand, and brought down the first stroke on her core. The young woman screamed behind the gag, she shuttered but left her legs open. He ran his hand up her thigh, “Do you want me to stop?”

She lifted her head off the table, eyebrows knitted together and violently shook her head no. “You want me to keep going?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

He brought the belt down again. Again she shuttered and cried out. A third stroke had her eyes rolling to the back of her head. A forth one had her back arching and legs trembling. A last well placed smack landed dead center and she was so close to heaven.

He watched as she trembled and writhed on his desk. He leaned his head down between her thighs and kissed the bruised flower. She gasped and her hands searched for his as he pulled to to the edge of the desk and buried his face in her lust. On his knees he ravished her sacred garden. Kissing, nibbling, sucking on her most delicate anatomy, he brought her to the edge of immense pleasure and watched as she rode the wave as it crashed around her. He wiped his face off on her thigh, leaving a lingering kiss near her knee. “I want to fuck this pretty pussy of yours, Anita. I want to fuck you like that weak little boy who knocked you up and left you to fend for yourself never could. I want to show you want a man can do for you, will you have me?”

After a moment’s hesitation, Anita again nodded enthusiastically. With that he unleashed himself from the pants he was wearing. He ripped his shirt off and his clothes fell down to the floor with a light plop. The principal rubbed himself against her opening, getting himself slick with her pleasure. In a slow, smooth movement, he entered her. Her back arched again and a sexy, deep moan of pleasure came out. He began to pound himself her red and raw flesh.

“You like this, don’t you? My little pain slut. You are so fucking sexy. You like being used, your cunt is so tight on my cock.” The principal rasped as laid claim to the woman’s body. He started rubbing her clit with his large thumb, “Do you got another one in you, baby? Think you can cum on my cock?”

Before Anita could answer, the office door swung open. Mr Walker entered the room, “Hank, you wanted to see me?”

He stopped dead in his tracks seeing the young woman being impaled on the desk with Principal Cavill thrusting into her. The interruption was just what she needed to make her see stars again. Her eye’s rolled back in her head as she screamed again behind the gag in her mouth. “Now’s not a good time, Walker. Oh, you fucking slut, cum on my dick.”

Walker chuckled to himself and left the room exclaiming, “I fucking love this job.”

The principal’s eyes never left his captive, feeling her body convulse on him, made him join her in absolute pleasure. He emptied himself into her willing body.

He rubbed the inner part of her thigh as she twitched and moaned for him. She was wrecked. He watched as the cum pooled on his desk after he had removed himself from her. He took the silk tie and cleaned himself off with it, then proceeded to untie his victim. Kissing her one more time around the gag, he unleashed her. He pointed at the mess they had made with a quite, “Do you mind cleaning that up?”

Without a word, she got up off the desk, walked over to the edge then seductively bent over and licked up every drop that had spilled from her. She moaned like it was the sweetest nectar she had ever tasted. She was going to make an excellent plaything for her remaining time at the school. 

Reaching into his desk, he pulled out the balm he used when he got too heavy handed for some of the girls. He then ever so gently rubbed the salve on her welted bottom and sex. He might be strict, but never cruel. He paid special attention to her little bruised flower. She sucked in air and ground herself against his hand. Without being asked she moved her hands behind her back, allowing him to look at her body unobstructed.

“As long as you are here, as long as you are mine, this little honey pot belongs to me. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Principal Cavill.”

“You are no longer allowed to cum without my permission. You will not fuck without my permission. You will open yourself to whoever I tell you to. You will be one of my prized bitches, and I will breed you however and to whoever I see fit. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Principal Cavill.” She bit her lip, and he felt her body get warm on his fingers. He pulled his hand out from her cum dripping core and he put them in front of her face. Her green eyes never left his blues as she sucked their fluids off of his thick digits.

“Someone tried training you before, didn’t they?” He asked, she nodded as she kept sucking. It wasn’t until his fingers were cleaned that he allowed her to redress. He looked at her lovely neck and thought how much better it would look with collar on. He wondered about the depths of her depravity and how hard she would work for his pleasure. He almost wished he could let her lay on the dog bed he kept under his desk for Kal, so she could tenderly kiss and and stroke  his cock when he wanted.

Principal Cavill instructed young Anita that when she got to her room, she would need to take a bath. And that tomorrow she would be expected to visit him again in the morning so he could make sure to tend to her welts. He handed her the milk she pumped earlier and left her with some final instructions.

“Oh, And I will have Mr Solo to send you up some vanilla ice cream tonight. I expect you to be able to hand express yourself tomorrow into my morning cup of coffee. Maybe if you are a good girl tonight and don’t sneak out again, I’ll let you sit on my cock while you do it. If yo are really good girl, I might even let you cum. However, if you are a bad girl, I’ll make Mr Walker watch as I thrash your bottom again while you are bent over my desk and you will have to tell him what a pain slut you are. Understood?”

Anita smirked mischievously. “Yes, Principal Cavill. Thank you, Principal Cavill.”

[warren-lauren]

Still Got It - Present Day!Brian May x younger!reader

Omg I am totally dying for a present day bri x reader fic! Haven’t seen one of those in awhile haha could you write a smut one where a way younger reader (like mid-late 20s) and bri have been casually hooking up and then bri suddenly feels self conscious about him being older and reader makes him feel better about it and then feels?

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Warnings: age gap, reader mid-20′s, dom!Brian, spanking, unprotected sex (wrap it), cheating, self-doubt on Brian’s part

Still got it...

Being Queen + Adam's publicist, as well as the publicist for Brian and Roger's solo projects, meant you spent a lot of time around them. No one questioned your presence around them, even outside of touring. You became very close to the three of them, you were one of their close friends.

You were closest to Brian. The two of you were... intimate. There'd always been something there between the two of you. You didn’t mind his age, it only showed he was mature and a gentleman. You loved that he was kind, and caring to you, treated you like a 'little girl', that needing taking care of. Sometimes he treated you like a 'naughty girl' and gave you a spanking if he needed to.

"Is Brian in?" You smiled politely at the young girl behind the desk of the rescue centre.

She nodded. "He's in his office, Y/N, but he said not to be disturbed." She glanced over to the unusually shut door that leads to him. "He doesn't seem himself." She whispered as she leaned over the desk towards you.

You frowned, "What do you mean?"

She let out a little sigh as she glanced back over to the door. "He hasn't come out of his office all day. He's not even gone out to the hedgehogs."

"Oh," You looked over to the door. The blinds were pulled down, essentially blocking the world out. "Well, don't worry. He can't, not, talk to me." You gave her a sly smile.

The young girl grinned. "You always manage to put a smile on his face, Y/N."

Yes, I wonder why.

"Do you want coffee?"

You shook your head, "I'm good thank you." You smiled before heading over to Brian's office. You took a deep breath and slowly pushed his door open. "Bri?" You called out to him. Your breath caught in your throat as your gaze finally landed on him.

Brian lifted his head, his eyes seeming to brighten ever so slightly as he looked at you. "Hello, love." He gave you a weak smile, taking his glasses off. "How are you?"

You shut the door behind you, then walked over to him. "I should be asking you. Tina says you're not yourself? Everything okay?"

"Fine." He huffed, dropping his gaze back to what was on his desk and placed his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

Your brow creased as you dropped your bag to the floor. "You don't seem fine."

"Well, I am."

You rolled your eyes, "No, you're being grumpy." You dropped into the seat opposite him. "What's going on with you? You're usually bright and cheerful."

"Everyone is allowed a day to be, grumpy, Y/N," Brian grumbled as he hunched forwards.

You studied him in silence for a few minutes, before you stood up and moved around his side of the desk and forced him to turn his chair around. You slipped your arm around his shoulders and sat on his knee.

"You're sad," You gently pulled his glasses off and put them on the desk before you brushed some of his curls back. "I can see it in your eyes, Brian, something is wrong."

He sighed and leaned into your touch as he wrapped his arms around your waist. "It's nothing, love, honestly."

You shook your head. "Bri, please tell me. Are you okay? Is it your leg again? Your heart?" You asked slightly panicked as you placed your hand on his forehead as if you'd work out what was wrong with him.

He huffed and grabbed your wrist. "No! It's none of that shit. I am, fine!" He glared up at you making you feel guilty for pestering him.

"Sorry." You mumbled and pushed yourself off his lap.

"Y/N," Brian leaned forwards, "M'sorry, baby girl, I didn't mean to snap at you." He took your hand and pulled you closer to him, pushing you gently until you perched yourself on the edge of his desk. "It's just..." He let out a heavy sigh. "I'm bloody old, Y/n."

Your eyes widened. "What?"

"I'm old." He sighed, "What on earth do you see in me?" He sat back in his seat and removed his hands from you. “I'm grey, wrinkly, fat, fragile, slow... almost triple your age." He shook his head and pushed himself away from you. "You shouldn't be wasting your time with an old fool like me. You should be off with someone your age, who can take you out and not keep you a secret. Who's not married-"

"Stop! Just, stop it, Brian!"

You dropped to your knees in front of him and covered his mouth with your hand, your other one rested on his shoulder.

"One, yes, you're older than me but you've never let that stand in your way of anything. You use your wisdom from the years of living your life to the fullest to teach others, including me, and Adam, and all your followers and fans. Two, your not wrinkly, just aged like a fine wine."

You smiled up at him softly as you removed your hand from his mouth and cupped his face. Brian smiled weakly, leaning into your touch ever so slightly.

"You're still as sexy, if not more so with your grey curls."

Brian scoffed, "If you say so." He smiled.

"I do, and you're nowhere near fat, so you can stop thinking like that and as for fragile... my arse, you are. And, tell me again you're slow when your slamming into my pussy," You whispered against his ear before moving and pressing a soft kiss to his lips that he thankfully returned. His hands slipped across your sides, giving you a soft squeeze. "And the married thing, I thought we both agreed we knew what we were getting into when we started this?"

Brian nodded, "You're right, I just... I don't want you getting hurt by any of this if, things go tits up."

"I'll be right there by your side if that's what you want. Any time you want this to end, you just say the word and I'll leave. Do you want me to?" You asked, feeling your heart practically bursting out your chest.

Brian shook his head and leaned forwards, pressing his lips against yours in a much harder kiss this time. "Please, don't leave me, baby girl. I need you." He whispered before kissing you again.

You moaned softly into his mouth, your tongue tangling with Brian's as the two of you deepened your kiss.

Brian was the first to pull back, the two of you taking in a deep breath. "Let's get out of here, yeah?"

You nodded biting your bottom lip. "Back to mine? I have something to show you, actually." You grinned cheekily at him as you began to get up from where you knelled between his legs.

Brian nodded, "Sounds good, baby girl. I'll meet you there." He pressed one final kiss to your lips before he too got up from his seat.

The two of you left Brian's office, saying your goodbyes to one another before heading off in different directions.

You had a feeling you knew where Brian was going, most likely home to make his excuses for his absence for a few hours. You tried not to think about it, it made you sad.

A little guilty, sometimes but Brian assured you his marriage to Anita wasn't anything more than just on paper anymore. In all the years you've known Brian, you've never really spoken to Anita, even before you and Brian began being extra friendly with one another.

You'd spoken to Roger about it before, not giving too much away but you were sure Brian had informed his friend of your relationship because he knew Roger would never judge. He'd said himself it was like they were just housemates now, not like they were a married couple.

Once you had arrived home, you took a quick shower, mostly to soften your skin with some of the body lotions and oils Brian had given you. Before getting changed into your surprise for Brian. It was a baby pink silk slip that split up the sides until it came to your waist, where lace covers your breasts, showing your already pebbled nipples. It had a matching thong, that you knew Brian was going to love.

“Y/N?” Brian called out as he shut the door behind him and dropped his key onto the small table the door.

“In here, Bri!” You answered from your bedroom.

Brian quickly took off his coat and hung it up, before he kicked his shoes off and then made his way to you. “I got us a bottle of-” Brian froze, his mouth going dry as his gaze landed on you, knelt on the bedroom floor before him. “Jesus, Y/N, are you trying to give me another heart attack?” He grinned at you.

You bit your lip as you shook your head, giggling. “Of course not, sir.”

Brian let out a deep growl as he put the bottle of wine on top of the chest of draws before he walked towards you. “No, of course not.” He placed his hand on the back of your head gently. “I know what you want to give me.”

You nodded and reached up to unbuttoned his jeans. With his help, you dropped his jeans and his briefs to reveal his hard cock. You licked your lips at the magnificent sight before you. You didn’t care that Brian was in his seventies, he had a cock like the God he was.

“Can I taste you, sir? Please?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes.

Brian nodded. His eyes fell shut as you wrapped your hand around his shaft, giving it a light squeeze before you leaned forwards and ran the tip of your tongue over the head of his cock.

“Oh, baby,” He breathed in deeply as you ran your tongue over his smooth skin slowly. “Oh, I’ve missed this.” He moaned as he threaded his fingers through your hair. “Please, baby, don’t tease me.”

You smiled up at Brian. You pressed a light kiss to the tip of his cock before wrapping your lips around it and giving it a firm suck before sinking down his hard length. You moaned around him, the taste one you easily became addicted to.

Slowly you bobbed your head, your lips tightening around his cock as you sucked. Your tongue running up and down on his underside before you pulled off his length and began to pump his cock using your saliva as lubricant.

“Is that good, sir?”

“Oh, God,” He moaned. “That’s it, baby girl.” He pushed your head back towards his cock. “Please, keep sucking baby girl. You’re so good with that pretty mouth,”

You grinned up at him before wrapping your lips around his cock again. You sped up, sucking his cock harder and twisting your hand around his shaft.

“Oh, fuck... baby,” Brian’s hips moved forwards, pushing his cock further into your mouth.

You moaned around him, sucking and slurping. You moved your hand from around Brian’s cock and cupped his balls, lightly squeezing them. You pulled off smiling up at him, “Please, sir, cum in my mouth. Let me taste you.” You begged.

Brian nodded as he pushed you back. He held your head in both hands and began pushing his cock in and out of your mouth. After a few more pumps he held your face close to him, his cock down your throat, and let out a deep growl as you swallowed around his cock.

“Fuck!” Brian growled as he came.

You pulled off Brian’s cock, gasping for air before licking your lips and looked up to him through your eyelashes.

Brian smiled, exhausted but happy as he held his hand out for you to take. He pulled you up, wrapping his arms around you and pressed his lips against yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth. His large hands squeezed your waist and hips.

“Let’s get a look at you then, love.” Brian grinned, pushing you back slightly. A low growl left his chest as his eyes drank you in. “Yep, definitely trying to give me a heart attack.” He chuckled lowly. “Get on the bed, baby girl. Spread your legs for me.” He winked at you.

You let out an excited giggle, doing as you had been told to.

Brian kicked his shorts off, along with the rest of his clothes. He licked his lips as he watched you spread your legs. Your tiny thong doing nothing to hide your wet pussy.

“Beautiful,” Brian whispered as he knelt between your legs, running his knuckles over your wet thong. He pushed the thong to the side and pushed two of his long fingers inside your dripping core, stretching you open. “So, warm and wet.” He moaned.

“Please, sir,” You moaned, “I need you.” You begged, your voice was breathy.

“Shh, baby, let me play with you first.” Brian lightly caressed your thigh as slowly pumped his fingers inside of you, twisting them before scissored his fingers. “Fuck.” He moaned, “I love this pussy.”

You cupped your breasts and rolled your nipples through the lace as Brian rubbed his thumb against your aching clit.

Brian grinned as he slowly pulled his fingers from inside you. You let out a deep moan as he lifted his fingers and put them into his mouth. “I can eat you all day, baby girl.” He winked as you before he leaned forwards. “Good girl,” Brian praised you as you opened your mouth for him to place his fingers in.

You moaned and sucked around his fingers.

“Get on your hands and knees, baby girl,” Brian ordered. You nodded eagerly and turned over, pushing yourself up so your backside was in the air.

You let out a loud cry of pleasure after Brian slapped his hand across your backside. Brian pushed the silk up until your backside was visible before pulling your thong down to the middle of your thigh.

“Are you going to fill me up, sir?” You wiggled your ass in the air for him.

Brian let out a short chuckle before slapping his hand across your cheeks once more. “Yes, baby, I am.” He said as he took a hold of his cock, frowning slightly. “Hmm, do you have-”

You picked the bottle of lube up from next to your pillow and looked at Brian over your shoulder. “Here,” You smiled softly, “It’s flavoured. In case you decided to have a taste after.” You winked teasingly at him making him chuckle.

“Thanks, baby girl.” He took the bottle from you and squeeze a generous amount onto his cock and began to slowly pump his cock, hissing at the feeling and the excitement of soon being engulfed by your heat. “Ready for me, baby?” Brian asked as he ran the tip of his rock through your folds.

You hummed, pushing back onto his cock. “Yes, sir.”

Brian moaned and slowly pushed into you, his hands sliding over your backside to rest on your hips. “Oh, fuck,” You moaned out along with Brian as his thick cock began to open you up. “So, good,” He breathed out as he bottomed out, his balls laying against your clit.

“Please, sir.” You begged.

Brian was usually a soft, caring lover unless you had been naughty and then he would fuck your brains, but tonight he had to prove to himself.

He quickly pulled out of you before slamming back into you, the head of his cock hitting your G-spot and causing you to cry out. He growled deeply as your pussy swallowed his cock, over and over. His hands tightened around you as he pulled you on and off his cock, his balls slapping against your clit, adding extra pressure and causing you to see stars.

“Oh, God. Fuck. Brian!” You cried, “Yes! Yes!”

“That’s it,” Brian hammered into you, slapping his hand against your cheek. “Fuck, baby... God!”

Breathy moans and cries of pleasure echoed around the room as Brian slammed into you. He reached over you and wrapped his hand around your throat, lifting you up until the two of you were pressed together. As he tightened his hold around your throat, Brian used his other hand to pull down the front of your slip, a slight tear here and there as he fought to get to your breasts.

He pressed his mouth against your neck, his breast fanning over your sweat-covered skin as he squeezed and pinched your breasts. “Fuck, baby girl, I can’t last much longer.” He heaved.

You shook your head, “Cum, Brian, please. Fill me up!” You begged. You turned your face towards him as you reached up and grabbed Brian’s face, crashing your lips against his.

Brian growled into your mouth as your pussy quivered around his cock. Brian gave one final, sharp thrust and came. His arms wrapped tightly around you as the two of you held onto one another.

As you pulled back from one another you could help let out a small giggle, “Told you, you’re not slow... sir,”

Brian chuckled, “No, I guess you’re right, but don’t be expecting that for a bloody while.” He kissed you once more.

Still got it...