#angsting about the ring breaking the proposal come on

[writing-whump]

Okay ran out of tags (read them first), just gotta say: Leo all shocked! Jon so upset everything was ruined and then Leo stealing the proposal was hilarious. And Jon showing him the ring, still so angry and Leo like, I don't need to see it?

Like for real, they can be so angry at each other and there is still no world in which Jon would say no? So different than Luke and Bell in this. Ring wouldn't break the deal even though Jon was working so hard, bless his soul.

Leo understands Jon in so many ways, you can really see the moment his own feelings get in the way of his understanding of Jon and what they are together. Sprouting thoughts, geez!

Two morons, had me angsty all the way since the middle. I'm so happy for them though!!!

(Sidenote, so interesting to watch the pov switching in this one at different times, I'm usually not this aware, but I see why it works here)

i’d actually requested this a while ago, and iirc it didn’t really fit with the timeline back then? when luke and vince weren’t talking.

i’d asked for a fic where lucas and vin watch leo take care of jon during a vertigo episode. like maybe they’re at jon and leo’s place and leo isn’t back from work yet when jonah gets hit with an episode. and both of them are lowkey freaking out. and leo comes in and takes over effortlessly and manages to calm jonah down so much better than either of them did

but if you’d not written this for some other reason then please feel free to ignore it! 🍄

This is probably my favorite fic so far. Maybe. Possibly. It's also long.

------------------------

“Hey, Monacelli,” Vince raised his head and saw Max tapping lightly on the half open door of his classroom. It was halfway through the day and Vince’s classes were already over. From what he had glanced at the overall teachers’ schedule, Daniels still had two more classes to teach, but Vince could go home… But that just seemed a little depressive. 

His parents were busy and his sisters were in class, so going home just meant being alone and he’d much rather stay in school and finish going over the kids’ papers. 

“Yeah?” Vince lowered his red pen and the blonde man pointed over his shoulder, to the sunny patio behind him. 

“Your boyfriend’s here,” Max said in a smug tone and Vince’s blood immediately boiled over. 

He could count in one hand the amount of transphobic shit he had witnessed with Wendy, but Vince wasn’t stupid. He was aware Doveport was fairly conservative and had been bracing for a bigoted comment for a while now.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, you asshole, I have a girlfriend,” he said sharply, dropping the pen immediately and Max jumped back, startled. 

“Uhm, okay, sorry for assuming? But there’s some guy in the parking lot waiting for you,” he shrugged, seeming offended, “geez,” the blonde turned around with an exasperated eye roll and power walked away, leaving a befuddled Vince behind. 

Vin grimaced, realizing he had assumed the worst for absolutely no reason and making a mental note to apologize to the other teacher, before the reality of some dude caught up with him. Weird, but a good surprise, Vince thought, packing up his bag and locking up his classroom. 

He fully expected to find Luke in the parking lot and was not wrong, the guy was sitting on the hood of his green jeep, sunglasses on and chuckling about something. What Vince did not expect was to see Jon standing right next to him, also wearing sunglasses and a jacket, smiling. 

Hell must have frozen over, Vince thought with a smirk, watching the two laugh. It wasn’t rare to see Jonah and Lucas laughing together, even if the two wanted everyone to think they hated each other, but today they looked particularly relaxed. 

“What is going on…?” Vince asked, opening a huge smile of his own when Luke promptly jumped from the hood of the car in order to tackle him into a hug. He squeezed the guy back, half hugging Luke with one arm as they pulled apart, in order to look at Jonah, “Jon?” 

“Hi,” Jonah gave him a small wave, “so uhm- Wendy showed me your birthday gift to her and uh- I wanted - I was wondering-”

It was so weird to watch Jon fumble with his words. Vince frowned, confused, then looked at Luke for an explanation. His best friend was blushing on Jon’s behalf, with a smile so gigantic Vince could see his molars. 

“Oh my god, Jonah!” He exclaimed after a minute, “he wants to buy Leo a ring.”

It took Vince a second, but then he let go of Lucas, all but yelling “YOU’RE GONNA PROPOSE TO LEO!?” and rushing to pull Jon into a hug. 

The other man stiffened, but he had no chance to fight Vince off, nor did he even want to and he melted into the hug for a minute, muffling a chuckle and mumbling a little sheepish “yeah… And I wanted your jewelry recommendation. I really liked Wendy’s birthday present and I think Leo would have my head if I got him a Cartier.” 

“And he wants our help to pick,” Lucas completed the unspoken truth and Jonah glared at him, turning a shade darker with a blush. 

“Shut up-”

“Yeah! YEah, of course, of course!” Vince interrupted the bickering, all but bouncing on his feet, his voice breaking and going up a note,  “Leo’s going to explode with happiness-”

It took Vin a moment to calm down and then yet another moment as they figured out the logistics of it all. Vince still had his motorcycle, so they decided he should just stick with it and drive ahead of them, Luke and Jon following in the jeep. 

The local jewelry shop where Vince had bought Wendy’s birthday was also owned by Italians. The old owner was a friend of Vin’s mom and he lit up as the three men walked into his store. 

“Back for more so soon, Vicenzo?” he asked in a thick italian accent, “I told you, there’s no coming back from the first diamond you get her.” 

“No,” Vince shook his head, planting his hands on Jonah’s shoulders and shaking him like a rattle toy, “today I’m here just as a helper. My friend wants to buy his man a ring.” 

“Hi, I’m Jonah,” Jonah tried to shrug Vince off, offering his hand to the owner.

“Niccolo Fanucci, it’s a pleasure.”

Luke was already inspecting the rings on display, crouching down to get a better look at them, “Leo wouldn’t want anything too flashy,” he said, tunnel vision fully on, “so what are you thinking? Yellow, silver? Tungsten?” 

Jonah wrinkled his nose, “tungsten?” he scoffed, “I’m not buying my fiance a tungsten ring.” 

“What’s wrong with them?” Vince frowned, completely out of his depth. Buying Wendy her birthday gift had taken him hours and he still wasn’t convinced he had done a good job. Probably had, Jonah wouldn’t be there if he didn’t think the quality and design were good enough. 

“Tungsten is extremely durable, almost impossible to scratch-” Luke shrugged and Jonah glared at him. 

“And cheap,” he said sharply, “I want a real ring for Leo.”

“How real?” Vince raised his eyebrows, noticing Niccolo — the owner — visibly perk up as it became clear Jon was down for purchasing the whole store if needed. 

“The best. I want a diamond. Or a bunch,” Jonah leaned over the display, as Niccolo hurried to get his best stuff out of the safe, as well as his design magazines. 

“You want personalized, son?” the man asked and Jon shook his head. 

“No time, I want to propose before his birthday,” he explained, “and that’s next month.”

“We could design something in time,” the man shrugged, opening the bunch of magazines, “how’s this boy of yours? Flashy? Shy?”

“Shy,” Luke got up from his crouched down position, “Leo would rather die than walk around with a huge sparkly ring, Jon, you know that.”

Jonah pouted, “but I want it to be a wedding ring,” he stressed, “I want everyone to know he’s married from across the court.”

“Lawyer?” Niccolo raised an eyebrow, shutting his magazine and throwing it to the side, opening a much older one, “is he traditional?” 

“More or less…” Jonah shook his head, while Vince interrupted him, nodding. 

“Yes,” he flicked at Jon’s ear, “he’s shy and not flashy at all. He also doesn’t wear jewelry, so it has to be comfy.”

“It has to be yellow,” Jon didn’t argue with Vince, despite grimacing. 

Luke frowned, “he’s blonde and super pasty, white gold would look prettier-”

“I want yellow gold, I want it to be clear it’s a wedding band.” 

“Don’t be silly,” Niccolo shook his head, “it can be white gold or platinum and still look like a wedding band.”

“He’s in a straight dominated field where men wear rings, if he has a silver band people will assume it's just some ring,” Jonah groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, “this is pretty.”

“Absolutely not,” Vince and Luke chorused, looking at the yellow band Jon was pointing at, with three baguette diamonds in the peak. 

“Alright, so yellow gold,” Niccolo flipped through the pages, “and not flashy, but flashy enough people know.”

“It has to be something he likes,” Jonah sighed, studying the rings, “he’s gonna wear it until he dies, so.”

Luke let out a snort, “or not,” he mumbled, only to immediately recoil and jump back as Jon turned to face him like a snake, “because he might get a new one!” he exclaimed, hands raised as if his friend was gonna hit him, “relax!” 

“Shut up, you don’t know Leo enough. What do you think, Vin?” Jonah turned away from Luke and Vince grinned, noticing the other man pout behind Jon. 

“I think I agree with you about the yellow,” he shrugged, “but the diamonds are a bit much, man. Let’s focus on how thick it is, how about?” 

Jonah didn’t know it could take so long to pick a ring. He had expected it would take more than a couple of minutes, after all he was a perfectionist and not willing to compromise in this matter, but at every little thing he said, Luke and Vince had twenty different arguments. 

Finally, after about two hours of back and forth, they settled on a yellow gold ring, with a brushed finish instead of smooth polish and with a baguette small diamond sitting in the middle of it. 

“Now you need to pick the thickness,” Niccolo said, “wait a minute while I get my kit. Sit around, Vincenzo knows where the coffee is. Have a torrone.”

Jonah snorted quietly to himself, he had never been to a jewelry shop that offered a torrone or any type of sticky, sweet food. But then again he had never been in a locally owned shop. 

He walked outside, hearing as Vince and Luke bickered over the gem cut — Vince still thought the pear one was prettier, Luke was team no gem and partial to some design fussiness on the band — and then pressed his forehead to the brick wall outside the store and picked out his phone. 

There wasn’t a text from Leo, they had last spoken that morning, when Jonah had lied through his teeth that he had a surgery to watch that evening and so they couldn’t have lunch together. 

Jonah rolled his shoulders, letting out a breath. He felt stiff all over from stress, the huge weight of picking something that could make or break his proposal making him sweat. He felt nauseous too, but in all truth he had been feeling sick to his stomach with nerves ever since Leo got his promotion and Jon made up his mind about proposing. 

That had always been his plan, after all. Wait until his boyfriend got the promotion that would put them on equal pay, so Leo wouldn’t have a breakdown over wedding prices or feeling like he was being given anything when Jackie inevitably tried to hijack the bill…

“You okay?” Luke planted a hand on his elbow. 

Lucas was almost levitating with how happy he was. It was like he was the one getting married, the dude simply didn’t seem able to stop smiling, even now looking a little concerned and holding a paper cup of coffee. 

“Yeah,” Jonah wiped the sweat off and straightened up, “Niccolo is back?”

“Yep, we’re just waiting for you,” Luke chugged the rest of the coffee that his hyper ass definitely didn’t need and squeezed Jon’s bicep in a cuteness aggression fit, shoving him further inside the store. 

The old owner was holding a large hoop, with a bunch of silver rings on it. Upon Jonah arriving, he opened the hoop, so he could remove the rings one by one, “you said he’s traditional and shy, but not so traditional —” the man said, barely looking up, with that certainty of someone who’s been doing their job their entire life, “and you’ll have a diamond on the band, so you need some thickness, especially if you don’t want the bling to stand out that much…” 

He carefully pushed two bands towards Jon, “try these on and tell me what you think, son.”

Jonah went to grab it, only for his hand to completely miss it. He blinked a couple times, feeling Vince grab him by the elbow.

“Jon, hey- You wanna sit down?”

“No, I’m fine,” Jon shook his head, swallowing down the heightened nausea and grabbing the ring on the left. It was too large on his hand, he had thinner pianist fingers, but the important part was the width, “looks a bit bulky… What size is the rock again?”

Niccolo grabbed a tiny piece of sticker paper and measured, cutting it out and then planting the paper in the middle of the band, “this size.”

“Yeah, no…” Jon shook his head, “not this one.”

“That’s a 5.5mm, try the 4.5mm one,” Niccolo took the ring back, once again doing the paper trick, “that’s a more old fashioned groom width.”

“I think it looks better,” Luke said, as if someone asked him, poking his head in. Jonah nodded, suddenly feeling too woozy. He darted out a hand to grab on something… Anything… Then landed on Vince’s forearm and squeezed. 

“That’s the one,” Jon determined, dead set on getting the bloody ring before vertigo took him out, “uhm- Luke, can you…?”

“Yeah, yeah, I can,” Lucas stepped in front of him, smiling to the confused old man, “I’m buying.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Jon overheard Niccolo say, but there was a ringing in his ears starting to drown everything out. He squeezed Vince’s arm, “help me outside…”

Vince helped him the couple of steps it took for them to get to the door, then he wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled Jon almost off his feet, dragging him to a bus stop bench. 

Jonah crumpled, spreading his legs and grabbing on the plastic of the bench with all his force, breathing through his mouth, “Fuck,” he sighed, cold sweat spreading down his back, “of all days…”

“I’m sorry, man,” Vince squeezed his nape, “help me here, what do I do?”

“No-nothing…” Jonah leaned forward even more, as his stomach rolled, the world turning into a complete blur. He let out a whimper, feeling like he was falling forward, except the ground never met his face, he just kept falling, falling-

“Should he be lying down!?” Vince’s voice broke through the fog, “I don’t know what to do, you’re the one who’s good with sick people!” 

“Not sick like this!” Luke’s voice answered and Jonah groaned, blindly trying to grab at Luke and shut him up.

“Ssssstop-” Jonah slurred, realizing his mouth felt super sticky and his pants humid. Oh no. Had he wet himself? 

Mortification caused Jon to open his eyes, only to realize the wet spot was just the fact he had puked the McBacon he had had with Luke on their way to Doveport all over the ground and his pants. 

The sight of the chunky brown mess caused his stomach to flip again and Jonah heaved once more, the movement ruining the sliver of balance he had regained and sending the world spinning on its axis once more. 

“ — My place?” Vince, his voice much closer now, as if he was talking in his ear. Jon let his head roll towards the sound and his cheek met something soft- Vince’s thigh? Stomach? 

“I guess!?” Lucas, sounding more than a little nervous, “should we call Leo? Wendy? Hell, your mom?!”

Jon groaned. He wanted none of these people, except maybe Wendy. He desperately wanted Leo’s comfort and the fact his boyfriend wouldn’t be freaking out like the two idiots, but that would mean telling Leo what he was doing in fucking Doveport and-

“Noo,” he slurred, his voice muffled by something, probably Vince’s shirt, “no k- no calling-” his stomach was done with his words and Jonah coughed again, as liquid rushed up his throat and world tilted completely to the left, then right-

“I’m calling Leo,” Lucas, all decisive, “there’s no way this is normal, right? I’m calling him.” 

“The fuck will Leo do if this isn’t?” Vince, sounding far away now. Jonah tried to cling to his voice and make himself responsive, but he just… Couldn’t. When he tried to open his eyes again, he realized he was in a completely different place. 

A pink room?

The black spots clumped in front of his eyes and Jonah let out a whimper, scared and humiliated, and then darkness swallowed him up.

-----------------------------

“Where is he?” Leo’s heart was hammering in his ears. He didn’t suppose anything was scarier than hearing the person you loved the most was completely down for the count, hours away. 

Luke’s call had come at the very end of his day, just as he was packing up to go home. Leo had never made it home, he picked it up on the elevator and felt his heart plummet down to his stomach. 

During the four hours of drive he had plenty of time to think, but had actually done none of that. His head was spinning, nothing made sense, but he didn’t actually give a shit about puzzling things together until he got a look on Jon, because from the way Luke described it, all panicked, it sounded like his worst case yet. 

In fucking Doveport.

He hadn’t been to Vince’s new place yet and for a second Leo felt completely out of place, standing outside of the small one bedroom apartment. Then Luke stepped out of the bedroom, the front of his shirt with a huge wet spot on it and looking visibly worried and Leo’s confusion melted straight into worry.

“He’s here, but he’s really out of it,” Luke leaned on the doorway as Leo walked past him, storming into Vince’s bedroom. 

Jonah was a sight to behold. His six foot tall boyfriend was curled up on his side, almost in a fetal position and looking terribly tiny.

“God, Jon…” Leo walked closer, sitting on the bed and touching the other man’s naked shoulder. Luke and Vince had stripped him down to just his boxers, but he had no fever, in fact he felt cold and clammy to the touch, “why did you dumbasses remove his clothes?”

“Uhm- He kinda, hurled all over ‘em?” Vince scratched at his cheeks, seeming embarrassed, “we didn’t know what to do, once we got them off every time we tried to move him to get him dressed he just seemed to get worse…”

“Great, that’s just fucking great,” Leo scoffed, scooting closer and stroking Jon’s cheek, pushing his tight curls back, “did you get any water in him? When did-”

“It was around 4 PM,” Luke answered, while Vince shook his head to the previous question. 

Leo glanced at his watch. 9:26 PM. Amazing.

“Get me some water, the meds that are in my car, in the glovebox, and a straw. And an empty bowl. And a big sweater, he’s fucking freezing,” he glared at the two, before returning his gaze back to Jon, stroking his head again, “Jonah…” he whispered, leaning in, “angel, I need you to wake up.”

His boyfriend was completely out. His breath smelled sweet, causing Leo’s nose to wrinkle, and he was shivering violently. Leo smoothed a hand down his naked back, moving even closer and feeling Jonah’s steady heartbeat. 

“Hey, Jon,” he pressed his hand in, instead of shaking him, “baby, wake up.”

It took another minute of gentle pushing and calling until Jon’s eyes slipped open. He was out of it and his eyes rolled back, taking another thirty seconds to fully focus on Leo.

“Oh no,” he groaned, curling up more, “not you.”

“Yeah, me,” Leo rolled his eyes, pushing the flash of hurt he felt at Jonah’s words away and grabbing the items Luke had planted on Vince’s bedside table, “I need you to drink some water, okay?”

“Won’t stay down…” Jonah whispered, closing his eyes again, a wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows as if he was in pain, “Leo, I don’t feel well…”

“I know, angel, I know,” Leo’s heart squeezed in sympathy and he leaned in, planting a kiss on his boyfriend’s brow, “trust me here, okay?” he squeezed Jon’s arm, before turning slightly around in order to dissolve the little pink pill that was supposed to help with the vertigo episodes in the glass of water. 

Technically speaking, Leo was aware he shouldn’t do this. Wendy had scolded him once about it… But so far it worked like a charm every time and Leo was not about to listen to Wendy when the matter was Jon. 

“Okay, just a tiny sip,” he held the straw between his fingers, pushing it in Jonah’s mouth and grabbing the man’s pillow in order to tilt his body up just enough he could swallow without choking, “just one, baby.”

It took some prodding, but eventually Jonah took what Leo counted as a fourth of the water. He glanced at his watch again. 09:41 PM. 

“Try to keep this down and we’ll try the rest in a bit,” Leo whispered, draping Vince’s older sweater around Jonah’s naked shoulders and continuing to pet his hair. 

Luke entered the room, every bit like a dog with his tail between his legs, “is he okay…?”

“He will be,” Leo rolled his tense shoulders, then turned his head until his jaw clicked, holding all the tension on his mouth, “what the fuck is he doing in Doveport?”

Luke and Vince exchanged a look, then they both shrugged.

Leo squinted at them, “well?”

“I called him,” Vince said, his whole face turning red, “I called them both, I’m sorry, I just- I was having a bit of a breakdown over Wendy and Jonah just came over to say I’m stupid and-”

“And he brought Luke?” Leo didn’t buy this for a second, but most importantly, the fact Vince was lying to his face only made him feel more furious, “okay.”

“He did! Because he knows I’m the only one who can get through Vince!” Luke sounded so smug about the lie, Leo stared at him, unimpressed. He let his eyes drift away from the dark haired men, looking around the room. 

Jonah’s clothes were folded on top of Vince’s little office table, alongside other papers and all sorts of school items, like stickers and scissors. One of Vin’s bedroom walls was painted dusty pink. 

“You called Jonah first?” Leo asked, feeling his blood turn to ice in his veins, as Vince nodded enthusiastically. 

“I mean, it was about Wendy,” he said, as if that explained everything. Leo nodded, looking over his shoulder. Outside the window he could see Luke’s green jeep parked all crooked in front of the place.

“Yeah, of course,” he agreed through his teeth, turning mechanically and grabbing the glass of water, “Jon, let’s try another sip, baby.”

It took nearly one hour to have Jon fully draining the glass and by then Leo was in full automatic pilot. If he thought too much about the lies, then his thoughts turned a dark, spiraling path that he didn’t enjoy and he didn’t want to indulge. 

Because lies or no lies, he knew Jonah would never do any of the things his brain kept sprouting up. Break up with him. Cheat. 

“I’m fine,” Leo overheard Luke say across the house, as Vince ordered all of them food from the living couch, “no, Bell, I’m really fine, I promise. I’m with Vin, Leo and Jon.”

Leo gulped down the knot in his throat and glanced down, to Jonah napping near his thigh, still all curled up. At least now he had quit shivering violently and none of the medicine had made it back up, so it was well into his bloodstream. 

They were out of the woods, as soon as Jon woke up he’d feed him another round of meds and then- 

“Leo?” Jonah whispered, curling up even more and pressing his forehead to the blonde’s knee, “Leo?”

“Hey,” Leo leaned in, folding in half and forcing his voice past the lump in his throat, “I’m here.”

“Uhm,” Jon let out a little pleased noise, then opened his eyes, “I wanna go home.”

“In a little bit,” Leo kissed his cheek, squeezing his arm, “let’s try sitting up first, okay? It’s a long trip, you really don’t wanna be in the car in case you’re not feeling your best-”

“Leo,” Jonah frowned at him, pushing himself up and letting out a moan, getting a gray cast as he paled, “what’s wrong?”

“My boyfriend is sick?” Leo rolled his eyes, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice, “how’s sitting up?”

“It’s fine,” Jonah raised a shaky hand to his face, rubbing the sleep off his eyes, “I wanna go home.”

“We’re leaving in a bit,” Leo said more firmly, pushing back and collecting his dignity. He felt terrible, equal parts worried and furious and intrigued and terrified – “drink some water, will you?”

Jonah obeyed, frowning, but he was right. He really was as fine as he was going to get so soon, even if weak and shaky, clearly nauseous still. 

Leo managed to keep him down for another one hour and a half, but by the time midnight rolled on — Vince flipping through the TV channels clearly trying to be a decent host, while Lucas had passed out on the floor next to the couch, his head tipped back as he snored —, Jonah glared at him and said in a firm voice, “I wanna sleep in my bed. Can we please go home?”

Leo nodded, rubbing his eyes and trying to feel a little less sleepy himself. He wasn’t so sure he could drive, but he was feeling too proud to admit to that. 

 “Are you sure?” Vince yawned, stumbling up as he saw Leo helping Jonah put on his clothes – they had already been washed and dried long before, “you can stay the night, guys, take my bed and I’ll take the couch and-”

“No, we’re leaving,” Jonah shook his head, holding tightly on the wall to stay upright, “thank you, for everything, but no.”

Vin didn’t look one bit pleased, “this is a horrible idea, it's super late... Leo tell him it’s a horrible idea-”

“We’re going,” Leo couldn’t feel a shred of sympathy for Vince. He was trying, but failing miserably. Now that Jonah was up and stubborn as ever, concern was quickly getting replaced with simple, unmitigated fury. 

“Please call me when you get there,” Vince hung at the door, “please? I’m gonna be up.”

“We’ll call,” Jonah agreed, stumbling to Leo’s car and bracing against it, breathing through his mouth. For a split second Leo considered staying, ignoring Jon’s stubbornness and his own pride and the anger and fear bubbling at the pit of his stomach and just stay and think all of this through in the morning- 

“Goodnight guys,” Vince said in a small voice and Jonah waved, opening a little secret smile to the guy and Leo’s second thoughts burst like a bubble. 

They needed to head home and only then he’d be able to think things through clearly.

Leo’s fingers drummed nervously on the steering wheel as they hit the road, Jon curling up against the window and watching the cars zoom past them. Headlights turning into lines of yellow and white and red.

“Why were you there?” Leo asked, one hour into the trip, when he could no longer hold it in. He turned up the heater, just a bit, noticing Jon was trembling again.

His boyfriend shrugged, but didn’t say anything, and Leo squeezed the steering wheel with a bit more force. 

“Jonah,” he said, his voice dropping, “I need you to talk with me, because I’m freaking out-”

“I can’t tell you,” Jonah’s voice was shot, “I can’t, okay? You just have to trust me-” 

“You already lied to me today, so cut the crap and tell me what were you doing in Doveport and not in surgery like you said-”

“Vince told you!” Jon exclaimed and Leo looked away from the road, his eyes wide in complete shock and anger. 

“You mean the lie he told me!? Do you think I’m stupid?!” Leo forced himself to look ahead, “Vince cannot lie to save his life and you want me-”

“It wasn’t a-”

“He called you first, but it was Luke’s jeep outside, not your car. In his story, you picked up Luke,” Leo hissed, starting to see red, “you lied to my face this morning, Jonah, so this was not some random, panicked call you got in the middle of your day. This was premeditated and-”

“Can’t you just please trust me?” Jonah glared at him, “Leo, what reason do you have not to trust me-”

“The fact that you’re LYING!?” Leo exclaimed, pulling the car to the dust shoulder and causing Jon to let out a whine at the sudden motion. He couldn’t drive like this, barely paying the road any attention. 

Jon was breathing through the dizziness when Leo turned to him, panting as he tried to keep his emotions at bay, “Jon, just be honest with me-”

“Please, please just drop it. It’s nothing bad-”

“Are you cheating on me?” Leo said without thinking and felt pathetic as he heard the words said out loud. He knew this wasn’t it, he knew it deep in his bones that whatever Jonah did, it would never be that. 

It didn’t stop the intrusive thought from continuously sprouting up.

Jonah’s head snapped and he glared at Leo, all vulnerability slipping away for a second and being replaced with anger, “oh my god, listen to yourself, Leo! You really think, I- God, you’re being fucking- You’re ruining everything,” he pushed the passenger door open and pushed himself out, causing Leo to jump out of the car as well. 

“I don’t know what to think! You’ve been acting weird for days and now you’re lying to me and your little buddies are all helping in the lie and I’m here, fucking nursing you-” 

“I DIDN’T FUCKING ASK YOU TO COME!” Jon yelled, hitting the car with a hand and Leo jumped at the explosion, his eyes wide and his heart speeding up, only to suddenly stop as Jonah’s shoulders shook and he folded in, grabbing on the top of the car with both hands and letting his head hang. 

Leo took a second, trying to make any sense of the scene in front of him, but then his body was moving before his mind caught up. Grabbing Jon by the shoulder, feeling his whole frame shake with sobs. 

“Jon- Shit, shit, shit, Jonah I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Leo mumbled frantically, his thoughts clearing up due to the searing certainty he had just messed up severely, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, baby, shit-” he cupped Jonah’s face and tried to wipe away the tears, only for the other man to shove his hands away. 

“Stop- Stop fucking t-touching me-” Jonah groaned, stumbling and falling sit on the passenger side, his legs still out of the car, covering his face with his hands as he continued to cry, “I can’t be-believe you think I- I would never- I-”

“No, I know, I know,” Leo sunk to his knees, mind reeling as he ignored Jon’s plea to stop touching him and grabbed his boyfriend’s wrist, “Jon, I’m so sorry, I’m an ass, I know you wouldn’t-”

Jonah’s whole frame shook with a sob and he angrily shoved Leo back, but in his movement the blonde got a decent look at his face and his heart broke in a billion pieces. Jonah looked genuinely hurt, tears streaming down his face and clinging to his chin, green eyes all red due to the crying-

“I’m so sorry,” Leo leaned in, pressing his forehead to Jonah’s and cupping his face, “baby, please stop crying-”

“I- I was-was,” Jonah pulled back, angrily wiping the tears and Leo let out a whine at the loss of contact. 

“I don’t wanna know,” he cut him off, “you’ll tell me later, a- another day,” Leo forced himself to say, “it’s fine, I don’t wanna-”

“I was buying your fucking proposal ring,” Jonah spat, glaring at him, his voice raspy, “and now you ruined it.”

Leo’s ears rang and he fell back on his ass in the humid grass, feeling like suddenly he was the one who had vertigo. He opened and closed his mouth, then felt tears springing up, “my proposal ring?” the question didn’t even sound like his voice.

Jonah scoffed, nodding, “yeah. You jackass, your proposal ring. Happy now? I was gonna propose at your birthday and they were just helping me and now you fucking ruined it and-”

“Yes,” Leo answered, without thinking and causing Jon’s mouth to snap shut, then open again, then shut in a tight line.

“No,” he glared at the blonde, “I’m not-”

“I’ll ask then,” Leo rolled his eyes, moving forward so he was resting on just one knee in front of the car door, “you can’t un-propose, you bought me a ring, I- I’ll ask. Are you gonna say no?”

Jonah frowned, clearly stuck between the rock and the sword, because he really didn’t want to propose on the side of the road, with his head throbbing from crying and puking, still wanting to strangle Leo and feeling wounded as fuck- With the ring on the pocket of his jacket… But there was simply no world or reality where he said no to Leo asking him to marry him. 

“You can’t steal my proposal,” Jonah scoffed, grabbing the box in his pocket and grossly sniffling, wiping the tears with the back of his hand, “you’re such a dick,” he opened the box. 

“You’re a romantic,” Leo grinned, then chuckled, “I can’t see the ring, it’s too dark.”

“SEE!” Jonah exclaimed, angry, “it’s a horrible proposal and you’re the one who ruined-” he never quite finished the complaint, as Leo leaped and kissed him, pushing Jon flat on his back inside the car. 

“I don’t need to see the ring,” Leo groaned, kissing him again and again, "the answer is always yes, Jon. Ring, no ring, it's always yes.”

[absurdthirst]

All American Thanksgiving {Javier Peña x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 19.9k

Warnings: Sex with strangers, protected sex, outdoors sex, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), restraints, temperature play, begging, submissiveness, face riding, angst, heartbreak

Comments: Working on Thanksgiving leads to meeting Javier Peña.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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|| MasterList || Javier Peña MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Javier rubs his cheek as he strides to the door of the diner. It’s Thanksgiving and he volunteered to work. He doesn’t mind sitting in a cop car instead of handling Lorraine and her family like he would’ve had to do. He walks into the empty diner and sits at the counter. You look up when you see him waiting at the counter, surprised anyone showed up on Thanksgiving, but you wipe your hands on your apron and walk along the counter to greet him. “Hey. Happy Thanksgiving. What can I get you to drink?” You ask, taken back by how handsome he is when he looks up at you with beautiful dark brown eyes.

He’s always been a bit of a flirt, but he’s tried to be good while he was dating Lorraine. However, he’s tired of her pushing for a ring, for a proposal. Wanting the wedding that Javi isn’t ready for. She keeps telling him that he can’t keep getting the milk for free when he hasn’t bought the cow. So he decided to tell her he needed a break. Right before the holiday and she keeps calling, her mother stopped him in the grocery store and gave him an earful and her father undoubtedly has been waiting to run into him. “Kind of a slow day, huh?” He asks, glancing around the deserted dinner. “Got any coffee brewed?”

You chuckle, glancing behind you to the half empty pot. “Definitely. It’s what I’ve been surviving on today since it’s been so quiet. Who knew so many people had families to see today?” You tease as you turn to grab a cup to pour him some coffee. “You got stuck with the ghost shift today too?” You ask as you set the cup down on the counter for him.

He snorts. “I volunteered.” He offers. “It was better than spending the day with people I don’t want to be around, talking about subjects I don’t give a fuck about.”

You hum, nodding in agreement, “True. Especially politics and religion. Luckily for me, I don’t have to worry about that because my parents are gone and I’m an only child.” You confess, reaching for a menu to set it down. “Me and the cook back there volunteered to let our coworkers spend the day with their families.”

“That was nice of you.” He watches as you walk away to get the coffee pot, his eyes falling down to your ass. It’s a nice ass, wrapped in your diner uniforms.

You come back, sensing his eyes on you when you walked away, and you smirk as you pour his coffee. He's attractive but you can tell he knows it. "Well, it's starting to feel like it was a good choice." You say as you stare at him appraisingly. "Always liked a man in uniform."

He wings up a brow, leaning back slightly. It’s been a long time since he’s really talked to a woman that wasn’t his family or Lorraine’s and he smirks. “You can look all you want.” He promises. “I don’t mind.”

You like his smirk, feeling your stomach twist with attraction, and you finish pouring his coffee. “See anything you like? On the menu?” You add, offering him a smirk of your own.

“Only the menu is available?” Javi hums. “Damn shame.” He glances down at your hand and sees you don’t have a wedding ring on. “He’s a lucky fucker.”

His words make you hot under your uniform, his dark eyes flicking up to yours and you offer him a soft shake of your head, "there's no lucky fucker. Single as a pringle." You hum, "and you? I'm sure your lady knows she's lucky."

“Single.” Javi shrugs slightly. “Recent occurrence.” Leaning forward, he picks up his coffee cup with three fingers and watches you while he takes a sip, “my real question is how are you single? I bet you get hit on all the time, pretty as you are.”

You chuckle, shaking your head again, "if you count old men and truckers, then allll the time. By someone I'd actually be interested in? Never. Until today." You murmur, resting your elbows on the counter to lean a little closer. "What crazy woman let you out of her bed?" You ask incredulously, eyebrows raised.

He chuckles, appreciating the comment and feeling like it might apply to his ex. She was getting more and more demanding as time went on. “I ran from it, actually.” He admits. “Felt like it wasn’t right.” His gaze turns a little more intense. “She wasn’t the right woman for me. So I’m still looking.”

You hum, "well, her loss and all..." You trail off and look down at the menu, "you want anything to eat, handsome?" You ask flirtatiously, knowing that you are both single. You have no qualms flirting with a sexy man and today has been painfully slow in the diner. You need a distraction.

“Oh, I’m starving.” Javi insists with a lecherous smirk. “And I’ll get something to eat, I guess.” He winks at you and glances behind you when the cook makes his presence known in the kitchen window.

You can sense Adrian's presence but you ignore it to focus on the customer as you reach for your notepad, "what can I get you?" You ask and he glances down at the menu. "All American Breakfast. Bacon, eggs over easy, pancakes." He orders and you nod, writing it down, "hash browns or grits?" You ask and he licks his lips, "hash browns." You nod and scribble down his order, handing it to Adrian who grunts and gets to work. "That should be up soon." You tell him and walk along the counter to grab the syrup and preserves for him to choose from.

“Fuck.” He notices the extra sway to your hips when you walk away from him and it makes his cock twitch. It’s been a slow day and he doesn’t have any calls right now, so he plans to stay and flirt with you until the dispatcher radios him. “Strawberry.” He tells you when you offer him a choice. “Sweet and juicy,  how I like it.”

You giggle, your stomach lurching with attraction and lust from his words, and you bring his selection over to him, setting it down. "So...do I get to know your first name, Officer Peña?" You ask, glancing down at his badge and you know he can read your name on your badge.

“Javier.” He’s spilled a little of the coffee on his thumb so he swipes his tongue across it after saying your name in return. “You have a beautiful name.” He compliments. “Matches your ass.”

You inhale shakily before you breathe out, "now there's a compliment you don't get everyday." You lean over the counter again, watching him as he lowers his hand from his mouth. "You have massive hands." You reach for the one he didn't lick, admiring his thick fingers, "makes a girl wonder where else is big." You flirt, caressing the back of his hand.

Javi’s no fool and that is an invitation as clear as day. Running his tongue over his teeth, he arches a brow as he glances at the kitchen window again. “Why don’t we go have a smoke?” He asks you. “Out back.”

You nod, cunt dripping for this stranger, but you feel like you need this. You spin around to talk to Adrian through the kitchen window. "I'm going for a break." You call out and Adrian waves his spatula over his shoulder to dismiss you. He's never been one with words. You reach behind you to untie your apron and shove it under the counter before you stride down the counter at the same pace he walks until you meet him at the side entrance to the dinner. He pushes the door open for you and you step outside, inhaling the fresh air. "I don't really smoke." You confess, turning towards him just as he reaches for your waist to pull you into his chest. "It's not a cigarette I want right now." He rasps, his hard cock pressing against your hip and you moan, reaching up to cup his cheeks, dragging his face to yours.

Javi leans into the kiss eagerly, having missed the physicality of sex since ending things with Lorraine. He’s almost given in and called her a few times but had resisted so far. Now, he’s wrapping his arms around you and dragging you closer, immediately sliding his tongue into your mouth with a moan.

Your tongue slides against his as his hands slide down to squeeze your ass through your dress. You moan into the kiss, grinding against him as he walks you backwards towards the wall of the diner and you gasp when he kisses your jaw. “Tell me what you want, hermosa.” He demands and you whimper, “need you to fuck me.” You order, reaching between you to squeeze his cock through his pants.

Javi groans into your mouth, twitching in your hand. “I can fuck you.” He promises, breaking away from your lips to kiss along your jaw. His fingers trail around your hip and push into your panties to find your clit and slide his fingers through your wet folds to press inside you slowly. “Fuck, you’re gonna feel so good around my cock.” He tells you as your walls hug his fingers.

His fingers are thick and stretch you, making you moan his name as he starts to work you open on them. You’re dripping wet for him and you fumble with his belt, trying to get his pants open. “Fuck. This uniform is so hot.” You murmur, his gun still on his hip as he pumps his fingers. You finally get his pants open and reach in to pull his hard cock out, moaning at the girth you discover.

He chuckles against your pulse as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of your tight cunt, curling them up. Wanting you to feel good when he slides inside you. “So is your uniform.” He pants. “Serving me coffee and pussy.”

“Better leave a good tip.” You tease breathlessly as he presses his thumb against your clit and you pump his cock, loving the way he twitches in your palm. His breaths are hot against your neck and you need him to be inside you. “Javier. Please.” You beg, walls fluttering around his digits as he works you up.

​​“You don’t want to cum like this?” He is halfway teasing but he curls and presses his fingers deeper. Pressing against that spongy spot that has you gasping out his name. “You just want my cock?”

“Oh shit.” You gasp as he presses his fingers against that spot. “Yes. Shit. Keep- keep going. I’m so close.” You pant out your confession as you grind down onto his fingers, your grip on his cock tightening. He chuckles and it makes your stomach clench, sending you over the edge and your knees buckle while you clamp down on his fingers.

Javi’s body pressed against you keeps you upright against the wall. Groaning into your skin while you soak his fingers and he pumps them in and out of you with a squelching sound. Enjoying the way you are whimpering and his cock pulses in your hand.

You try to catch your breath as he works you through it until you regain your senses. You let go of his cock to cup his cheeks, pressing your lips to his after you demand, “fuck me.”

Javi licks into your mouth again, pulling his fingers out of your dripping pussy to reach for his wallet. Always keeping a spare condom in the side pocket, he pulls it out blindly and drops the wallet on the ground in his hast to rip the foil packet open and roll it on.

You shove your dress up your hips and watch him roll the condom down his cock. He’s thick and you would go down on him if you knew him better. “Baby, please.” You beg, whining as he grabs your thigh, lifting it over his hip, and you groan when he notches himself at your entrance and starts to push into you.

Javi doesn’t just thrust into you roughly, but his hips are firm as they press you into the wall. Filling you with a smooth roll of his hips that is taking your breath and making him choke out in pleasure as he bottoms out. “Fuuuuuuck.” The curse is growled into your mouth, following his tongue as it slides against yours and his eyes close at the hot clutch of your cunt around him.

He stretches you out and you grip his shoulder as he starts to move inside you. Your tongue tangles with his and this is pleasure you haven't felt for a long time. He is strong beneath your touch as he rocks into you and you moan, tilting your head back against the wall when he adjusts his hips, "fuck, that's good."

Javi grunts in agreement, moving to kiss every inch of your neck and shoulder that he can reach while he’s rocking into you. His hands around your back, holding you as he thrusts. The jingle of his belt is loud but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t even care if anyone manages to see you, he’s too focused on how good you feel around him.

Anyone could see you from the road but you don't care. Adrian could come out and find you but you don't give a fuck. Not when Javier is making you feel like this. He thrusts into you, his hand sliding down to your ass and you moan, rocking your hips to meet his, his belt hitting your thigh with each thrust.

“Fuck, you’re gonna cum again, aren’t you?” He pants as he fucks you. “I can feel it. Cum for me.” He wants to feel you cum on his cock, needs to feel it because he can feel his own body tensing to cum. It’s been so long since he’s fucked anyone but Lorraine that it’s overwhelming. “Cum for me, baby.”

His words have you falling over the edge. His cock pushes deep and you clamp down on it with a cry. Your nails dig into his uniform as you cum for him, squeezing his cock inside your fluttering walls. “Cu- cum for me.” You plead, wanting to watch him fall apart.

Javi’s jaw tenses. nostrils flaring as his hips snap forward three more times before he is faltering. Burying himself deep with a groan as his cock pulses inside you. Flooding the condom with his seed.

You love the way his jaw clenches as he twitches inside you. “Fuck, you’re so handsome.” You caress his cheek as he works himself through his pleasure until he lowers your thigh from his hip. You kiss him softly and he reaches down to grip the base of his cock as he pulls out of you.

“Fuck.” Javi hisses as he slides the condom off quickly and ties it closed. “Now I do need a cigarette.” He chuckles, shoving the used condom into the trash can and tucking his cock away. He zips up and looks at you as you adjust your panties and pull your dress back into place.

You stumble slightly and he reaches out to stabilize you. “Sorry. Just not used to cumming that hard.” You confess with a giggle and he chuckles, rubbing your arms. “You want your breakfast? Come in and have a smoke and your food.” You tell him, opening the door to the diner and he follows you inside, playfully smacking your ass which makes you giggle.

Javi goes back to his seat, sipping his coffee as he pulls out his pack of cigarettes. Watching you move over to the window where his meal is sitting, having obviously been waiting for him. Grinning, you turn back and bring it over to him and he smirks. “Why won’t you get a drink and sit down with me?” He asks, inhaling a drag from the cigarette. “Not like you have a ton of tables to check.”

You glance at the kitchen window where Adrian is cleaning the griddle and you nod, grabbing a cup of coffee for yourself. Your pussy aches a little as you take a seat next to him and he taps his cigarette on the ashtray sitting on the counter. "So what made you want to be a cop?" You ask, eying his badge.

“Didn’t want to be a rancher.” He snorts, picking up his coffee cup and taking another sip before he sets it back down and picks up his fork. “I studied philosophy and criminal justice in college.” He admits, cutting into his pancakes and then picking up the syrup to drizzle over the top. “Don’t see a lot of work for a philosopher around here.”

You take a sip of your coffee and you chuckle, "I don't know. Some people around here need to take a good look at their lives. Maybe you could help them." You tease, "but being a cop...it's a hard job. Not one I'd want to do." You confess, "I bet it's hard to deal with the smugglers."

“Yeah.” He frowns slightly. “I try to prevent as much as I can, but I’m not in the DEA.” He has talked with agents a lot and even been told he needs to apply, but he hadn’t decided if he wanted to leave Laredo or not. His dad would be all alone. He never said it, but he could tell that he had missed Javi while he was in college.

You nod in understanding, “I heard the president talking about stopping the cartels but who knows what will happen. If you did join the DEA, I’m sure every woman in Laredo would miss you in uniform.” You wink, taking another sip of your coffee.

He chuckles. “Yep, I’m sure old Mrs. Murphy will miss calling me out to report that someone’s walked through her flowerbed.” He tells you. “It’s her cat, every time.”

You giggle, “she probably just wants to see a sexy cop.” You tease and he continues to eat his food. “I’d definitely be calling you to my house at every chance and you’d have a different kind of pussy to deal with.” You wink playfully, resting your elbows on the counter.

After scooping up a bite of his eggs, he smirks at you and turns the fork around to offer you the bite. “I’d be having a different kind of meal too.” He promises, that smirk broadening into a grin when you take the bite off of his fork with a look of surprise on your face. “Where do you live?” He asks. “Professionally speaking, so I can keep an ear out for the call on the radio.”

You grin after you swallow the eggs he offered you. “For professional purposes?” You ask and he nods, his knee pressing against yours under the counter. You tell him your address, “so if you’re in the area, stop by.” You wink, “and you can have your meal.”

He arches a brow, making note of the address. It’s not too far from his normal patrol route. “Gotta warn you,” he takes a bite of eggs and then forks up a bite of the pancakes for you to eat. “I’ve got a hell of an appetite.”

“Good thing I can cook up a storm.” You tease, wrapping your lips around his fork to chew on the bite. Adrian had left for his break so it’s just the two of you in the diner. “And I definitely offer dessert.” You wink after you swallow, “you are welcome anytime, officer.”

Javi smirks and nods. “Definitely take you up on that.” He promises. “Although if keeping the handcuffs on is a turn on, I can always use them on you.” He jokes.

“Or I could use them on you.” You challenge playfully and he chuckles, shrugging one shoulder, “never tried that before.” You smirk, “it would be fun. I mean it, you’re welcome anytime.” You promise and he nods just as his walkie talkie beeps. “Come in Peña.” The dispatcher’s voice is muffled but you lean back, knowing your time with him is over.

Javi sighs and rolls his eyes but he reaches for the radio. “Peña here, what’s going on?”

“Domestic dispute. Thanksgiving dinner gone wrong. 112 Sanders Ave off of Clark near the football stadium.” Kathy at dispatch says, knowing Javier is on his break but the woman had been panicked.

Javi is moving, dropping his fork and standing up as he keys his mic again. “10-4.” He says. “Enroute, five minutes.” He goes to pull his wallet out of his pocket and smirks because he had to pick it up off the ground earlier. “Listen, thanks for the food and the company.” He tells you, handing you several bills. Enough to cover the meal and a good tip. “I’ll try to come back.” He promises.”

You nod, watching him shift off his stool. “Let me get you a coffee to go.” You rush around the counter and grab a paper to-go cup, filling it up and you hand it to him. Your fingers brush his and you wish he wasn’t leaving so soon. “I’ll see you around.” You murmur, glad that Adrian isn’t here to see you step forward to kiss his cheek. He smiles and nods, “see you soon.” He says and makes his way out of the diner. You watch him until his patrol car disappears and you sigh, leaning against the counter for several moments until you clean up his plate.

The entire time he’s gone to the call, he’s thinking about the sex, the conversation. He had enjoyed his time with you, more than he could have imagined in that situation. He takes care of that issue, calming down the couple that had been arguing over the man watching the game and not helping out for Thanksgiving dinner. After that, he had a call for fireworks, basically just telling the kids to space out the explosions, and not set them off near buildings so they don’t catch on fire. After that, it goes quiet and he finds himself driving back to the diner to see if you are still there.

You are refilling the condiments, distracted thinking about Javier, when the man himself strides back into the diner. Your eyes widen and you nearly knock over the sugar as you stand up, brushing down your apron. “You’re back.” You declare and he nods, walking over to the counter, “can I get you a coffee?” You ask, heart pounding in your chest.

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “Too late for that.” He checks his watch and raises a brow. “When do you close tonight? I can’t see too many more people coming if they aren’t already here.”

You check your watch, “in the next fifteen minutes if no one comes in.” You tell him, “you sure you don’t want anything?” You ask as you start to put the condiments away on each table.

He smirks. “Nothing but a date.” He props his hands on his hips and looks at you as you work. “Don’t think we can go out tonight but, what do you say?” He had been thinking about you the entire time he was working and was eager to come back. It’s a step in the right direction and tells him that he was right to end things with Lorraine.

You are shocked that he came back to ask you out but your heart pounds and you blurt out a “yes” before you can even process it. He grins, nodding his head, “I, uh, I’ll give you my number.” You scramble for your notepad and write your number and address down for him. “I have tomorrow off if you, uh, if you’re free. If not, call me and we can figure something out.” You tell him with a smile that won’t leave your face.

Javi grins, taking the slip of paper that you had written his order down on, now having your number on it, and folds it over to tuck into his shirt pocket. “I’m off too.” He tells you. “Perks of working the holiday.” He jokes. “You want to get dinner? Let someone serve you for a change?”

You nod, “that sounds good.” You can’t stop smiling. You truly dreaded coming into work today but Javier has changed everything, making this a great day. “Seven?” You suggest and he nods, stepping closer to you. He glances around to see if Adrian is nearby until he cups your cheek and you lean in to press your lips to his. The kiss is sweet and short and when he pulls back, you cover your lips with your fingers, giggling. “I’ll see you tomorrow, officer.” You say and he chuckles, offering you a wink before he leaves the diner. “He’s going to be trouble.” Adrian calls out for the kitchen, “mark my words.” He says and you roll your eyes, “I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.” You finish your shift with a grin, planning what you’re going to wear tomorrow night for your date.

**** 

Javi hadn’t called that night since you had plans, but he’s pulling his truck up to your address five minutes before seven. It’s been a long damn time since he’s gone on a first date and Chucho had smirked when he had seen his son taking pains with his appearance and applying his new cologne. Now he wonders if he should have brought flowers since he’s already fucked you, but he can’t leave and go get some. Rolling his eyes at his stupidity, he opens the door and reaches for his cigarettes while he waits to knock on your door.

You rush around, making sure you look good. You’d picked a classy but sexy dress to impress him and it’s silly because you’ve already had sex, but you like him. A lot. You want to get to know him more and you want to make a good first date impression. You spray your perfume and when the doorbell rings, you inhale deeply, checking your appearance in the mirror before you open your front door. He’s wearing jeans that cling to his thighs, making your mouth water until you take in his checked shirt and the cowboy boots. Fuck, he looks sexy. “Hey.” You greet him softly, leaning against your doorframe after you open the door.

Javi smiles as he takes in your dress with a slow perusal of your body, up and down until he’s looking at your face again. “Hey.” He murmurs, his eyes already darkening in approval. “You look good.” He tells you. “Real good.” If he hadn’t promised you a date, he would be trying to talk you into bed right now.

His compliment makes you shiver in arousal and you’re tempted to drag him off to your bed but you need to get to know him. You want to know more about him. “Thanks, handsome. Let me just grab my purse and we can go.” You say and leave the door open as you find your purse. “You ready?” You ask and he nods, stepping back after you close the door so you can lock up.

He guides you towards the truck and opens the door for you. “So how do you feel about going across the border for dinner?” He asks. “There’s a great little restaurant on the river that serves the best food you’ll ever eat.”

You nod, “I’m down for anything.” You promise and you get up into his truck, watching him close the door and walk around. He comes across as a strong man and you love that he takes your hand as soon as he is driving down the street. “I’m really happy you came back to ask me on a date. I kicked myself for not getting your number.” You confess, squeezing his hand.

He hums as he guides the truck down the road towards the river. “I had to leave sooner than I wanted to.” He reminds you. “Asshole husband wanted to sit on his butt watching the game instead of helping set up for the entire family coming over.” He snorts. “Poor bastard never spent days making tamales at the table with mama.”

You scoff, “I feel bad for some women. They are completely stuck in their homes doing everything instead of following their dreams, doing what they want. I mean, I work in a diner but at least I’m standing on my own two feet and not dependent on some asshole who doesn’t do shit for my weekly grocery money.”

He finds that refreshing and he nods. “My mama was a “homemaker”.” He tells you. “But she ran our house, our lives.” He chuckles. “Pop would drive mama to the store for groceries because when they were first married he told her he expected the shopping to be done by her.” He shoots you a grin. “She made him eat those words and he ended up loving going shopping with her every week.”

You giggle, “your mama sounds like an incredible woman.” Javier nods, his brow furrowed, “she was.” Your smile drops and you squeeze his hand, “I’m sorry. I lost my parents when I was eighteen to a car accident. They left me their house and that’s how I’ve been able to survive.” You confess, “I- I’m sorry. It hurts. You want to talk to them, tell them everything that happens in your life, but they aren’t there. It’s horrible.” You admit, feeling your eyes sting with unshed tears for your own family.

“I’m sorry.” Javi flips his hand over yours and laces his fingers through to hold your hand. He squeezes it gently. “I know you have to miss them. I miss my mama every damn day.” He murmurs quietly. “Don’t ever apologize for missing someone you love.”

You love that you can understand his grief and he can understand yours. It's hard to relate when your partner hasn't lost a parent so you feel even more connected to Javier. He pulls up outside the restaurant moments later and helps you out, his hand on your back as he guides you into the restaurant. You feel protected and you love how he takes charge as he gives his name and pulls out your chair when you sit down at the table.

He tells you what he plans to order, “it’s the best you’ve ever had.” He promises, tapping the menu. When the waitress comes up, he orders two beers after checking with you and then looking back at you as she walks away. “So, tell me how you came to be at the diner?” He asks. “I don’t think I’ve seen you in there before, but I work odd hours a lot.”

You tap your fingers on the table, “my friend, Pam. She’s well, she was my mom’s best friend and she owns the diner. After my parents died, she was my rock and offered me a job. I planned to go to college but that kind of got pushed aside from grief and I’ve been there ever since. Maybe one day I’ll go to college but for now, I don’t mind working at the diner. I take weird shifts since a lot of the other girls have families. I’m happy to help them out since I’m alone.” You confess, offering him a shrug of your shoulder.

He nods, knowing that he doesn't mind the long, odd hours that come with his job sometimes. Although Lorraine would constantly complain when something would interfere with her plans. Like public safety and criminals would just stop at five when everyone else got off work.

The waitress brings back your beers and you tell Javier to order so you can have the same thing. “I’ll see if your recommendation is up to scratch.” You tease, picking up your beer to clink it against his. “To first dates.” He toasts and you smile, “to first dates.” Javier smirks after he has a sip, “so what happens if my recommendation isn’t up to your standard?” You giggle, setting your bottle down to take his hand in yours, “then you won’t get the blowjob I’ve been imagining since you left the diner yesterday.”

His cock twitches in his jeans. “Blow job?” He asks, sure that you’re fucking with him. “Thought good girls didn’t like to suck cock?” He had stopped asking for a blow job after it was treated like a chore. He had taken the hint, but he damn sure hadn’t gone down on Lorraine either - just sticking to sex. He had counted it as another strike against the relationship. If the sex life dried up and they weren’t even married, what would it look like in ten years? He didn’t want to find out.

You lean closer, lowering your voice, “who said I was a good girl?” You tease and you love the way he inhales sharply. “Baby.” He murmurs and you turn his hand over, tracing circles on his palm, “you’re sexy and capable, why wouldn’t I want to be on my knees for you?”

Javi shivers, feeling his body respond to the promise in your eyes. “Then you’ll be on them later on.” He promises, imagining the way you would look up at him with his cock in your mouth. “And then I’ll see how loud you can scream my name.”

You pick his hand up to press a kiss to his palm before you lower it back to the table, “I’m excited for that.” You murmur, “I, uh, I don’t usually - this isn’t what I do.” You clarify, “you’re the first man I’ve slept with since my ex and I broke up about six months ago. There’s something about you that makes me want to throw caution to the wind.”

“I don’t think any less of you.” He promises, smirking slightly. “I was right there with you, just as guilty.” He winks playfully and tilts his head. “Why did you and your ex break up? Was he just stupid?”

You sigh, “he wanted me to move across the country to Florida. I couldn’t leave my parents’ house. I know it’s stupid but it’s the last connection I have to them. I couldn’t sell it and move. He refused to stay in Laredo and we broke up. He’s dating some girl in Miami now. It wasn’t meant to be.” You confess, “and you? Why did you break up with your ex?”

Javi knows this might be something you don’t like but he sighs. “She was pushing for marriage and wouldn’t listen when I told her that we needed to fix some things in our relationship first.” He tells you honestly. “She kept pushing for me to quit the department, go work for her dad.” He snorts. “I don’t want to fucking sell furniture.”

You nod in understanding, “you can’t just get married without sorting those issues out. That’s a hot ticket to divorce. And you definitely don’t look like a furniture salesman. Annoying fuckers.” You snort, “you need to make the right choice for you otherwise you’ll be too old with kids and look back thinking what the fuck did I do with my life?” You know life is short.

He laughs and nods. “Exactly.” He shakes his head. “What about you?” He asks. “You want kids? The life?” He isn’t opposed to it, but it’s not like he is rushing to find a woman to pump out kids for him. He just kind of assumed they would always one day happen, although one day seemed to be a far off concept.

You shake your head, “I’m not in a rush. I do want to get married, have kids. My parents had a great marriage. They were partners but they - my mom could only have me. They wanted more kids. I would like a couple of kids. A husband. A dog. All of it. But not yet. I am still figuring myself out.” You confess, continuing to trace his palm.

“And what have you figured out so far?” He asks, finding it easy to talk to you. You aren’t playing games, being coy. It’s nice to just talk about things without any expectations or debates about what he should want. He got plenty of that from Lorraine’s family.

“That I am stronger than I thought.” You confess, “after my parents died…I thought I would crumble. But I didn’t. I got stronger and I miss them so much but I’m surviving. I need to find who I am without my grief. I am slowly getting there.” You murmur, “I want to enjoy life to the fullest. That’s my goal. In honor of my parents.”

“That’s a good tribute to them.” He agrees. The rest of the dinner is amazing, both of you talking about everything and anything. Javi tells you some jokes that make you laugh and there’s plenty of flirting as well. Even as you agree that it’s the best food you’ve had. Now you are in the truck parked in front of your house again and Javi wonders if you are going to invite him in.

Javi comes around to open the passenger door and he walks you to the front door of your house, his hand on your back until you turn to face him. You step closer, placing your hands on his chest, “do you want to come in?” You ask, biting your lip, prepared for him to say no and you should be more coy but you want him again.

He licks his lips and nods. "I want to come in." He promises you, happy that he had slipped another condom into his wallet. He presses closer and leans in, kissing you softly before he pulls away. "Open the door, hermosa." He hums, his hands sliding down from your hips to your ass. "This time I want to see you naked."

His words make you grin and you fumble slightly as you grab your keys until you manage to get the door open. You step inside, his hands around your waist as you walk in and he kicks the door shut behind him, spinning you around to press you up against it. You gasp in delight and wrap your arms around his neck, dragging his mouth to yours.

This time he can spend time on you. Stripping you down and feasting on your body while drowning himself in the pleasure of it. Everything blurs in his mind, all his problems fade and you are exciting. You are just as eager as he is. His cock is already starting to hard just from your soft lips yielding to him and his tongue slides against yours as you gasp into his mouth.

His thigh pushes between your legs and you grind down onto him as his tongue tangles with yours. You moan into his kiss, your hands sliding to the buttons of his shirt, starting to work it open so you can touch more of him.

Javi likes that you are undressing him. Likes that you are taking charge even if you are the one with your back against the wall. He pushes his thigh up a little higher as you grind down on it and he can feel the dampness starting to grow. "Fuck." he groans, breaking away and kissing down your neck. "No panties?" He twitches against your stomach.

“I was feeling lucky.” You tease, shoving his shirt open and you caress his chest once his skin is bare. “Shit. You’re so handsome.” You murmur against his hair as he kisses down to your collarbone and you scratch your nails over his nipples, grinding onto his jeans.

Javi hisses your name, hands sliding back up your dress to find the zipper. He doesn't want to just push your dress up again but he needs to touch you. "You are fucking gorgeous." He finds your lips again to kiss you as he drags the small zipper down.

His words make your body heat up and you know he means it, it’s not just to get into your pants. You haven’t even made it down the hall, the chemistry between you sizzles and you arch your back to allow him to pull the zipper down, his shirt hitting the floor when he finally shrugs out of it when you whine.

He chuckles, stepping backs so he can peel your dress down and reveal your bra. "Fuck," his hands cup your tits and he is delighted to find that the snap for your bra is in the front, letting him unclip it easily.

His eyes are dark and you love how hungry he looks as he pushes your bra off your shoulders and cups your tits as soon as it hits the floor. Your hands slide down to his belt, working to open in your desperation to see all of him, feel all of him.

Your hands are hot and eager on his skin, opening his belt with a hunger that jerks his hips towards you as you pull at the belt. "Let me- let me get you to the bedroom." He grunts, knowing that he wants to spread you out.

You nod, knowing you want him in a bed so you shimmy your dress down, kick off your heels, and take his hand to guide him to your bedroom while completely naked. His free hand works on his belt, letting it drop to the floor, and you open the door to your bedroom.

"Cute bed." He hums, noting your flowery bedspread. "Maybe I should have brought my handcuffs to tie you to it."

You smirk, “next time, officer.” You promise and waste no time sinking down to your knees, working on the zipper of his jeans, “now, I do believe I promised you a blow job if your recommendation was good enough and that was the best food I’ve had in a while.” You smirk and lean in to kiss his belly while you open his jeans until you reach in to pull his hard cock out. “Fuck. It looks as good as it feels.” You murmur, gripping him until you lean in to flick your tongue over the drop of precum before you take him into your mouth.

"Oh fuck." Javi's eyes roll back in pleasure and he fights to open them again and keep his gaze centered on you. "You- fuck, you - you are good at this." He pants out, reaching out and caressing your cheek and jaw as you take him deep into your mouth and hollow your cheeks around him. "Fuck."

You moan around him, loving the way he tries to not thrust into your throat but you want it. You grab his thighs, managing to pull his pants down further so you can cradle his balls while you take him deeper, choking when he hits the back of your throat. You splutter slightly and take a deep breath, pushing his cock down your throat as you breathe through your nose.

He likes that you choke but keep going. You don’t care that your eyes are watering and your makeup is smearing. Your eyes are watching him and your mouth feels like heaven around his cock.

“Fuck, “I’m going to cum.” Javi warns, loving how you just hum around him. A few seconds later, he’s cumming down your throat, growling your name and panting breathlessly. 

Pulling off his cock once you’ve swallowed every drop, you love how he is immediately hauling you to your feel and pushing you down on the bed, “It’s your turn.” He smirks, spreading your thighs as he settles between them, finding a pretty shaved landing strip. “You groomed for me?” He asks playfully. “You shouldn’t have.” 

You chuckle, flushing and shaking your head, “just wanted to make sure your dessert was presented nicely.” You tease, watching him settle between your thighs. He kisses your skin and you whimper, “hope you like it, officer.”

Javi smirks and nudges his nose against your clit, inhaling the heady scent of your arousal. You got wet while sucking his cock and he uses his fingers to pull your folds apart to expose the sensitive skin. “Let me show you how much.” He coos before he is sliding his tongue through your folds with a pleased groan.

You whimper, running your fingers through his hair, loving how his tongue feels. It’s wet and hot and makes you gasp when he flicks it over your clit. “Baby.” You whine, “you feel so good.” You compliment, tugging on his hair.

Javi wants to make this good for you. You sucked his cock and your cunt feels like heaven. He wants to see what you look like when you fall apart on his tongue. Eager to see how you moan and thrash around for him as he flicks his tongue over your clit.

It’s mind blowing how good his tongue feels against your clit, sucking on your folds and he pushes his tongue into your pussy. You watch him, shifting onto your elbow to watch him, “fuck, handsome, you’re so good at that.”

He hums against your folds, winking at you playfully from his place between your thighs, his mouth still attached to your cunt. He loves how vocal you are, how sweet the whines are when your thighs tense. His fingers dig into your hips and hold you in place.

You rock your hips against his face as he works his tongue deep in your pussy, your fingers tangled in his hair, and his nose presses just right against your clit. “Fuck. Oh shit. That - that’s it.” You pant, loving how good it feels as he works you up.

He wants you to cum. He wants to see your cunt flutter before he slides inside you. Groaning into you as your fingers tug at his hair and his cock twitches against the sheets. He pulls his tongue out of your pussy and flicks it over your clit before sucking it into his mouth.

"Oh my - fuck!" You cry when he sucks on your clit and your eyes roll into the back of your head. You love it. You fucking love it. You gasp, thighs starting to shake around his head, and you moan his name when you finally fall apart. You cry out, thighs squeezing his head while you soak his chin.

Javi moans into your folds. He loves when a woman comes apart for him. It’s addictive and he loves that just as much as he loves cumming himself. Lapping at your juices until he pulls away with his mouth shiny with your slick, he kisses your clit and then starts to work his way up your body.

You pant, catching your breath as he kisses up your body, wrapping his lips around your nipple, and his cock is hard against your thigh. You reach down to wrap your fingers around him, pumping his cock, “need you inside me, baby.” You demand breathlessly.

“Fuck.” He groans against your chin. “Do you have a condom in your nightstand?” His pants are too far away for his liking and he doesn’t want to pull away from your grip.

You nod, stretching out after you release his cock to grab a condom from your nightstand. His hands squeezing your ass as you turn onto your side, grabbing the condom. You shove it into his hand and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his face to yours to kiss him.

Javi can kiss a woman and open up a condom without looking at it. Focusing on you as he pulls the rubber out and rolls it down his cock. Groaning as he pumps himself a few times to position himself between your thighs.

You moan into his mouth when he starts to enter you, stretching you out like he did the day before behind the diner. "Fuck." You pant against his chin, shifting your gaze so you can watch him push into you. "You're so gorgeous, baby." You murmur, kissing along his jaw after a moment of watching him until he's pressing against your cervix.

He chuckles, thinking that should be his comment to you. Turning his head to press his lips to your and give you a moment to relax before he starts to move.

You let him set the pace, lifting your thighs onto his hips while your hands explore his chest, up to his shoulders, and down his back until you’re squeezing his ass. He’s strong above you, making you feel like the world outside doesn’t exist, and that makes you whimper into his kiss.

Javi is a passionate lover, he pours himself in the intimacy with total abandon. Forgetting everything else but the way you move under him and respond to every thrust.

His thrusts are deep but unhurried, making your chest heave against his, his hand coming up to squeeze your breast and you whine his name. "Feel so good, baby. Better. It's gotten better." You moan, wrapping your legs around him.

Your comment makes him huff against your chin, smirking slightly as he continues to rock into you. “And the next time will be even better.” He teases. “And then even better the time after that.”

"Fuck, you're gonna have me addicted to you." You tease, "gonna need to keep you in my bed every damn day to use your cock." You chuckle when he twitches inside of you. "And I want - God, I want you in it every day."

He groans, completely agreeing with your line of thinking. “Works for me.” He kisses along your shoulder and up your neck. “Pussy feels amazing and you are incredible.” He squeezes your breast gently.

You smile at his words, glad he’s on the same page, and you rock your hips up to grind against him, moaning when his pelvis rubs your clit. “Fuck yes. There.” You pant when he hits something incredible inside you and his pelvis rubs your clit. “Keep - keep going. Just like that.”

He pants, trying to keep his hips angled the same way. Wanting to hear you moan again. “There?” He asks, huffing proudly when you nod. “Yes, just- oh god.” You whimper, making him rock his hips a little harder, knowing you are close to cumming.

"Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Ja-" You cut yourself out with a cry as you clamp down on his cock, lost in the sensations of your orgasm while he continues to rock into you as best he can while you squeeze him.

He grits his teeth, hissing in pleasure as he works you through that orgasm. Loving how your walls spasm around him and flutter. Your eyes skip closed and your head tilts back, letting him kiss along your chin as he works you through and pushes towards his own.

The pleasure makes your toes curl and you whimper, walls fluttering around him. "So good. So good, baby. Want - need you to cum for me." You plead, scratching down his back as you rock your hips to meet his.

Your lips meet his and he groans into your mouth, ramping up his thrusts and hearing his hips slap against the back of your ass as he fucks you. Grunting in pleasure as he gets closer and closer.

The moment he falls apart makes you moan into his mouth, your tongue sliding against his when his groan vibrates against your lips and his cock twitches inside of you. You caress his back, letting him rock himself through his climax.

“Fuck.” He hisses, kissing you again and collapsing against you for a moment. He can savor it, rest for a second and not immediately pull away. It’s not like you’re behind the diner this time. He kisses you softly a few more times before he finally reaches between you to grip the base of his cock to make sure the condom stays in place.

It’s impossible to not relax into the sheets beneath you. Your body buzzing from the orgasms and you watch him as he ties off the condom and tosses it into the bin near your bed. “Come here, handsome.” You order, dragging him back into your bed so you can pull him close to kiss him. “That’s was so damn good.” You murmur, running your fingers through his hair.

He chuckles, his head leaning against the headboard and his arm comes around you as you snuggle against him. “Damn good.” He agrees. “Want a cigarette but I don’t want to move.” He’s relaxed and blissful right now, body humming with pleasure and making him a little drowsy.

“I’d offer you one but I don’t smoke.” You murmur, caressing his chest, “you maybe want to come over for dinner? When you’re free?” You ask, wanting to see him again even if he’s not left your place yet. You want to keep this going.

“When?” He asks, even though he’s not even digested the last meal that you’ve shared together.

“Whenever you’re not working. I work the day shift tomorrow so I'm free tomorrow night. If that’s not too soon?” You bite your lip, wondering if he’s going to get scared off by you being too eager.

He smirks as he looks down at you. “Whatcha making?” He asks playfully. “Have to be pretty good to beat those pancakes and pussy.”

**** 

“Fuck baby, I’ve got fifteen minutes.” Javi grumps against your lips, fumbling with his belt and pushing you against the wall of the diner again. It’s been two weeks since Thanksgiving and he’s been over at your place every night since the first date. Chucho chuckled whenever he saw Javi, sometimes he was only home to wash his clothes or change. “Fuck, pull my cock out and I’ll get the condom.”

You whine when he pulls back and you work on opening his pants to pull his hard cock out of his uniform. “Shit, Javi. Hurry up. I need you.” You plead, knowing you don’t have a lot of time and you want to have him inside you again. You’ve had sex every day since the first day you met, you’re addicted to him, and you desperately need him right now.

“Hurrying, baby, fuck.” He twitches in your hand and nearly laughs in relief when he finds the condom he has stuck in his pocket when he got dressed this morning. He had known he was coming since you are working the late shift tonight and won’t be home until late. Your house feeling like home to him since he’s spent nearly every night there. “Fucking thought about this all damn day.” As he pushes your panties down, he kisses you again and pushes the condom into your hand before he slides his hand between your thighs to rub your clit.

You fumble to open the foil packet, letting it drop to the ground as you work fast to roll the condom down his length despite his fingers working your clit. “Fuck. Me too. All damn day. Think of you whenever anyone orders the breakfast.” You moan, squeezing his length. “Come on, baby. Fuck me.” You plead and let go of him.

He’s shuffling between your thighs and grips your leg to lift it up and position himself before he’s pushing deep. Swallowing your soft cry of pleasure and giving you a groan of his own as he immediately starts to fuck you.

He stretches you out and you whine, tilting your head against the wall of the diner, his lips immediately attaching to your skin there. “Oh God.” You pant, gripping his shoulders as he thrusts into you, still dressed in the uniform you love.

Javi grunts, driving into you over and over again his knees hit the wall behind you. “Fuck baby.” He’s completely wrapped up in you, hasn’t even thought about Lorraine since that second date with you. He’s been happier and lighter since you’ve been with him.

He grunts as he rocks into you, knowing there's a diner full of customers that haven't got a clue that you are outside getting fucked by the handsome cop who came in for coffee and a donut. "So good, Jav." You whimper, lifting your thigh a little higher and he pushes deeper, making you moan. You were wet as soon as you saw his patrol car pull up and you are already climbing to your climax.

“Cum for me baby.” He begs against your pulse, pressing kisses to your galloping pulse and scraping his teeth over your skin. “Fuck, I want you to cum for me.”

You can't deny his request, your pussy fluttering around his cock until you fall over the edge. Gripping his uniform in your fingers, you clamp down on his cock with a cry out his name you can't guarantee the diner didn't hear, and you squeeze your eyes shut.

Javi is cumming right after you are. Pent up from thinking about this, about you all day. He’s groaning your name and moving up to capture your lips in a searing kiss as he floods the condom with ropes of his seed as his knees buckle slightly.

You love how he feels when he cums, the way he tenses up, and you slide your hands down, caressing his badge as he pants against your lips. "That was a nice surprise." You smile, "I love when you come to see me at work."

He hums as he kisses you again. “Wanted to come see you.” He admits. “I’ll be back when you close the diner.” He kisses you again and starts to pull out of you gently. “Make sure you get home safe.”

You smile, “my hero.” You coo and watch as he ties off the condom while you pull your panties up and push your dress down your thighs. “I’ll see you later then. You want a coffee to go?” You ask and he nods, playfully smacking your ass once he’s all tucked away. You gasp, smacking his chest, and you walk back into the diner to grab him that cup while Adrian eyes you from the kitchen window. “Here you go, baby.” You murmur as you hand him the cup, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you later, officer.” You love how he winks before he strides out of the diner, eyed by several of the women but you know you’ll be in the one in bed with him later.

At the end of his shift, Javi pulls back up to the dinner again. Parking the car and turning off the engine while he watches you work through the windows. You move with grace, picking up the condiment bottles to wipe down and store for the night. It had been a hard end of shift, he had a young boy die in his arms. A drug overdose. Hours spent at the hospital and plenty of paperwork, but the worst part was telling those poor parents their son was never coming home. He sighs softly as he sets out of the car and leans against the hood, lighting up a much needed cigarette.

You see Javier waiting for you after you lock the front door and Adrian lights his own cigarette. “That one will be trouble for you, mark my words.” He says and strides off, “goodnight.” You call out to him and shove the keys in your purse, making your way over to Javier. “You look stressed.” You observe, “what happened?” You ask as you step closer to wrap your arms around him.

His arms wind around you and he drags you close, needing your warmth to chase away to sorrow. “Had a kid die tonight.” He tells you, his voice rough with emotion. “Overdosed on cocaine.” He swallows harshly and sighs. “Fucking sixteen years old. In the fucking morgue.”

“Shit.” You murmur, resting your cheek on his chest, feeling his heart pound. “I’m so sorry, baby. That - I can’t even imagine.” You hold each other, knowing how his job takes a toll on his mental health. He feels helpless sometimes and doesn’t feel like he’s doing enough. “I’m sorry.” You whisper, pulling back to look at him.

“I know.” The compassion and worry shines out of your eyes, making him fall for you just a little harder. You are gorgeous, kind, compassionate and warm. Exactly the kind of woman his mother would have picked for him if she had been alive. She would have loved you. He reaches out and cups the back of your neck to drag you to him for a desperate kiss, needing to feel something other than loss.

You kiss him fiercely, wishing you could take away the pain in his eyes, and he’s so damn brave. Not many people could handle that job. You peck his lips when he pulls back, “let’s go back to mine. Get some food.” You caress his cheek and he nods, walking you over to your car. “I’ll see you at home.” You promise and slide into your car. He waits until you’re pulling out of the parking lot to get in his car and follow you to your house.

He hopes that you don’t mind his cruiser outside your house, but you’ve never said a word about it. He doesn’t have the energy to go back to the ranch and get his truck. Drained emotionally and needing something that he can’t say out loud. He needs comforts that only you can provide.

When he walks behind you while you’re unlocking the front door, you nearly drop your keys but you manage to open it. You step inside and groan when you step out of your shoes and throw your purse down. He works on removing his holster, kicking off his shoes, and you turn around when he removes the cuffs. “Give those to me.” You demand, holding out your hand. His eyebrows raise, “you want me to use them on you, hermosa?” He asks and you smirk, “no. I want to use them on you.”

He’s surprised by your answer, but he trusts you. Only frowning slightly as he hands them over and finishes removing his utility belt and radio. He turned it off at the end of his shift, but he’s happy to have the damn thing off. “What do you plan to do?”

“I want you to strip down and I’m going to handcuff you to my bed. Make you forget about everything except how good I’m making you feel.” You explain as you step closer to him, “and I want to make sure you have the key.”

You nod, setting the key down on the counter to make sure it’s safe, and you bite your lip, “strip down. Now.” You order, “I want to see all of you, baby.” He nods, reaching up to start unbuttoning his shirt and you watch him with hungry eyes.

Stripping down is almost cathartic, the weight of his duties sliding off like his clothes. He hesitates on his briefs but you nod. “Those too.” And he hooks his fingers under her elastic band and drags them down so he is standing naked in your entryway. His cock is half hard, but he doesn’t shy away from you seeing him.

You love how strong he looks but you want to break him down, let him take the weight of the world off his shoulders. “Go lay on my bed.” You order, “I’ll be in there in a second.”

He nods, turning and walking down to the bedroom and pulling back the covers to lay in the familiar sheets. He watches the door, getting even harder at the prospect of turning everything over to you and letting you control his pleasure

You strip down to your underwear, leaving him to wait for you, and you grab a cup of ice, bringing it with you along with the handcuffs. You want to take him out of his mind and you love how he looks in your bed, his cock resting on his lower stomach as he waits for you. “Hey baby.” You smirk, striding over to the bed and you set the cup of ice on the nightstand. “You wanna give me a safe word in case you want out of the handcuffs?”

He’s rolling his eyes and snorting. “Let me out of the fuckin’ cuffs.” He chooses, smirking when you huff at him. “I’m good, baby. I promise.”

You giggle, “whatever you say, babe.” You straddle him, loving the way he groans and you grab his wrist, lifting it to your headboard to cuff one hand. You work fast to secure his other hand and you look down at him, “fuck. You look good like this. At my mercy.” You scrap your nails down his chest, loving the way his cock twitches against your ass. You bend down to press your lips to his for a moment until you pull back, reaching for the cup on the nightstand. “What-?” He asks but you shush him, taking a piece of ice in your hand. You shuffle down his body, pressing the ice to his chest, chuckling when he hisses, and you slowly drag the ice cube over his nipple. He clenches his jaw at the coldness but you remove the ice cube and flick your hot tongue over it.

He hisses at the sensation, drawn to the contrast of hot and cold and how it makes his skin ache. You are distracting him, you are his distraction. Blanking out his mind to everything but your touch. “Take off your panties.” He grunts. “Want to feel your pussy on me.” He begs but you just smirk and shake your head. “I’m in charge baby.” You coo, caressing his cheek and dragging the ice cube down the edge of his jaw. “You just lay there and let me take care of you.”

He groans and you giggle, dragging the ice cube down his neck, your tongue following its path. He hisses and you smile against his skin while you circle his other nipple with the ice. It’s melting fast and soon you are flicking your tongue over his nipple while you grab the cup of ice to get another cube. With the new cube in hand, you drag it down his belly, pressing hot kisses in the wake of the cold until you approach his cock. You settle between his legs and drag the ice along the underside of his cock that rests on his belly. He hisses and you smirk, removing the ice to drag your tongue along the same path, taking the head of his cock into your hot mouth.

“Fuuuuuck.” Javi hisses, eyes closing and his head tilts back against the pillows. His arms are stretched above his head and he loves how you are making him forget everything. It’s beautiful, all he can think about is what you are doing to him and how he wishes he could touch you. “Fuck yes baby,” he groans, opening his eyes and looking down. “Try- try the ice in your mouth.” He pants.

You pull off of him, shoving the small ice cube in your mouth then you take him again. The hot and cold are a striking contrast and you groan at the way his cock twitches in your mouth while you drag the ice cube down his length.

“Shit- oh fuck!” The handcuffs rattle slightly as he tugs against them and he can't help but try to rock his hips up. “You are - fuck - you are so goddamn perfect.” 

He would deny he has ever whimpered in his life, but an almost tortured sound comes out of his mouth. Jaw slack and eyes closed again in pleasure as you suck his cock. “Fuck- I want- fuck, I want to lick your pussy.” He groans.

You should deny him. Make sure this is only about him, but his whimper and plea are so delicious. You pull off his cock and shift off the bed, shoving your panties down and taking your bra off. “You want me to sit on your face, baby?” You ask as you straddle his stomach, letting him feel how wet you are. “Please baby.” He huffs and you giggle, shifting up until you’re straddling his face. His hot breath washes over your folds and you lower your cunt to his mouth while gripping the headboard.

Javi can be generous, but he’s more so with you. He’s a little submissive. Something he had never had in a relationship before, something he never even thought about wanting but it seems natural with you. Sometimes you need him to give you what you need and right now, you are giving him what he needs. His tongue slides through your folds greedily, hungry for the taste of you and to give you a bit of the pleasure you give him.

You gasp his name as his hot tongue slides through your folds and flicks over your clit. “Oh fuck.” You whimper, trying not to grind down on his face when his hands are cuffed. You let go of the headboard to squeeze your breast with one hand, closing your eyes at the sensation, and you squeal when he sucks on your clit. “Javi, baby, you’re so good. Such a good boy.”

His neglected cock twitches at that statement and he should be pissed but he’s not. He’s liking it. He groans into your folds. Licking at your clit as much as he can.

You rock your hips, grinding down onto him as you reach back to wrap your fingers around his cock, wanting to feel him twitch in your hand while you rock on his tongue.

Javi groans happily into your cunt, bucking his hips up into your grip. Right here is where he could die happy, buried in your pussy with your hand wrapped around his cock. He’s never had the kind of feelings for someone like he feels for you, wanting to put you first instead of himself.

You work yourself on his tongue and it doesn't take long for you to fall apart above him, squeezing his cock as your thighs smother his face. "Fuck!" You cry, nearly falling backwards as you cum on his face.

Javi chuckles breathlessly, knowing that if he was uncuffed, he would flip you over and push into you right this second. He loves how you cum shamelessly, loving orgasms and sex as much as he does and you don’t play coy or demure.

You pant as you relax above him, releasing his cock from your grip, and you shift off his face. “I’m gonna ride you now.” You tell him, moving to grab a condom from your nightstand. “Gonna need a new box.” You tease as you straddle his thighs, opening the condom to roll it down his cock.

“That’s because we fuck all the time.” Javi groans as you wrap your hand around him and roll the rubber down his length. He smirks. “You’re addicted to my cock.”

“Don’t hear you complaining, officer Peña.” You snort and shift closer until you’re positioning him at your pussy so you can sink down onto him. “Fuck. I am addicted.” You confess breathlessly as he stretches you out. “I love it.” You whimper, shuffling a little until your knees are digging in the mattress so you can start to move on top of him.

“You look good on my cock.” Javi praises breathless. “Feels even better.” He watches your tits bounce slightly and groans when you swivel your hips and clench down around him. “Fuck, one day-“ he pants. “One day I’m gonna feel you without the condom.”

“I’m on the pill. I just - I wasn’t sure what you wanted.” You confess, “you want to feel me bare? Fill me up? Cum inside me? Officer?” You coo as you lean closer, pressing your lips to his chin as you rock back onto him.

Javi groans and chases your lips, huffing out a curse when you pull away from his reach and he can’t drag you back. “Yes, fuck yes.” He hisses. “Want to feel you bare around my cock.”

You know it’s a rash decision but you’re lost in the lust and security that you take the pill like clockwork. You shift back and lift off his cock, pulling off the condom, and you moan as you notch him back at your entrance, slowly sinking down to feel all of him without the barrier between you.

Javi moans your name, his hands curling into fists and he curses that he can’t touch you. “Fuck baby, yes.” He groans. “Just like- fuck- move.” He begs.

You chuckle, loving how wrecked he looks, and you shake your head. You stay still on his cock and he tries to rock his hips but you clench your thighs to stay still. "Hermosa." He whines and you lean forward, pressing your lips to his, "fuck, I love to hear you beg. Now I want to hear you moan." You murmur and rock back onto his cock, starting a pace that makes you look like you're in the Kentucky Derby.

His toes curl in pleasure and his entire body tenses. “Fuck!” He yelps, wanting more and not sure that he can take it. You are perfect, tight and hot around him and like a vice when you roll your hips just the right way. You’re beautiful and he loves it.

You love how wrecked he looks, his eyes glazed over as you rock on top of him. “Feel so good, Javi, baby. Oh shit. Feel like you’re in my guts. I love this.” You pant, your palms slapping against his chest as you ride him.

He’s never been such a passive participant in sex but all he can do is let you ride him, his hips are planted against the bed. His cock twitching every time you slam back down on him. “Fuck you need to cum.” He begs. “Cum baby, I’m not gonna last.”

He’s so whiney and you love it, reaching down to rub your clit, and you moan his name. “Feel so good, baby. I’m gonna - shit. Oh - oh!” You cry out, clamping down on his cock and you soak him, loving how you feel every vein and ridge of his cock.

You clamp down around him and his feet curl in pleasure and he can’t help but rock his hips up. Your hips have stalled and you aren’t moving as your walls pulse around him. “Fuck baby, fuck, fuck.” He hisses, feeling his body pulling tight.

You want to see him fall apart, feel it inside you, so you grip the headboard over his head, stretching over his body. You slam your hips down against him, the sound filling the room and you lean in to kiss his jaw. “Cum for me, baby. Fill me up. Want you to cum inside me.”

It’s like he needed your permission. Rocking his hips up, your name is called out loudly as he buries his cock deep and paints your walls with his seed. Panting and whining as he rides out the best fucking orgasm he’s ever had. “Fuuuuuuuck.”

The sensation of his hot cum filling you up has your walls fluttering around him again, a soft cry escaping your lips while you grind back against him. “Oh God.” You pant, shifting to press your lips to his as his cock twitches inside you.

Javi takes control of the kiss even if he can’t pull you closer. His tongue sliding into your mouth possessively and his moans flowing into your mouth as he rides out his orgasm. Only tempering the kiss when you collapse against him in pleasure.

Panting against his jaw, your body is buzzing but you manage to shift off him, fumbling for the key you placed on the nightstand next to the cup of now melted ice. You reach up, wanting to release him from the cuffs, and manage to free him after some struggle to get the key in during your post orgasm haze.

Javi watches you fumble with the key, his smile soft and he lifts his head to kiss right above your breast. “I love you.” He murmurs softly.

You are surprised, eyes widening and you stop what you’re doing to look down at him. He stares back and you see the apprehension in his eyes until you grin, “I love you too.” You surge down to press your lips to his, “I love you.” You murmur between pecks. “Let me -” You manage to finish unlocking his hands, the handcuffs heavy as you set them down on the nightstand.

His arms go around you, pulling you close and rolling you onto your back so he is hovering over you. Caging you with his body. “You have been the best thing to happen to me.” He promises, kissing you again. He’s not a man who gets sappy or waxes eloquent poems or constantly says ‘I love you’ but he shows he cares and he is happy you feel the same way. Feeling like this is supposed to be.

You can’t stop smiling, sliding your fingers through his hair and down his shoulders, “I love you, baby. You’re the best man I’ve ever met.” You promise and sigh, feeling safe and warm in his arms. You can’t believe how lucky you are to have met him, to have him.

He kisses you again, rolling over and tucking you into his side. “Give me about ten minutes and I’ll show you how bad I can be.” He teases playfully, closing his eyes and sighing happily.

You giggle, caressing his chest, and you close your eyes. You never imagined you’d find someone like Javier and you can’t wait to see what the future holds for you. You hope he’s your person.

**** 

“Why are you nervous?” Javi chuckles as he holds your hand, pulling up to the small ranch house. “He’s going to love you.” It’s only two days later, but Javi knows that it’s the perfect time to introduce you to his dad. Wanting this to be permanent and let you get over the big ‘meet the family’ fear that you have.

You squeeze his hand, “I don’t want him to think - we got together so soon after you broke up with Lorraine and I just - I don’t want him to think less of me.” You confess with a shrug, “it’s, uh, it’s important that he likes me.” You bite your lip and look at his childhood home.

“Baby, he’s gonna love you.” He squeezes your hand and brings it up to kiss the back of it. “He never really liked Lorraine, to be honest.” He flashes you a grin. “So you’re already better.”

You chuckle, relaxing a little, and you let him open your door before you walk to the front door and Chucho opens it, a big smile on his face. “So you’re the reason my son can’t stop smiling nowadays.” He winks and Javi blushes, “Pa.” He says and Chucho tuts, “he’s never here but I can see why. He didn’t exaggerate your beauty.” He says and you fluster, reaching for his hand and he pulls you in for a hug. You tear up a little, reminded of your father and how long it’s been since you had a hug like this, and you hug him back. “Javi said you are a charmer. I guess that’s where he gets it.” You tease and Chucho chuckles, guiding you into his home, and you immediately feel at ease.

Javi smiles at the way his dad is flirting with you. He would barely talk to Lorraine and it’s just another indicator that he has made the right choice with you. “Let me get everyone a drink while you two talk.” He winks at you and goes into the kitchen.

You sit down on the sofa with Chucho and demand he tells you about Javier and he chuckles, “Oh, I have some stories.” He begins to tell you about a teenage Javier and you hear the phone ring.

Javi rolls his eyes as he picks up the phone. “Peña residence.” He answers like he has his entire life. “Javi.” He groans and turns towards the kitchen door to make sure you don’t hear him. “Why the fuck are you calling, Lorraine?” He demands quietly.

“I’m surprised I got you. I’ve heard all about your little diner skank that you’ve been fucking. My friends have seen you around town. Told me all about your little dates. You never took me bowling.” She huffs and Javier rolls his eyes, “what do you want?” He demands again and she snorts, “I was calling to tell you I’m pregnant. I just found out. Went to the doctor to make sure and I’m about ten weeks.”

Javi’s stomach drops, feeling like he’s been punched in the gut. “Bullshit.” He huffs, “we used a condom every time.” Lorraine scoffs. “You know it’s not one hundred percent.” She reminds him and he shoves his hand through his hair. “So what? You need money for an abortion?” He asks, hoping that she wants to get rid of the baby.

She scoffs, “I’m not getting rid of it. I’m keeping the baby.” She declares, “and I want us to meet. Try and work this out. I know your dad will kill you if you don’t stand by me, do the right thing. You need to take responsibility for your actions, Javier.” Lorraine announces and hears his heavy breathing through the phone.

Fuck. Javi’s eyes close and he screws his face up in anger and confusion. She's right, Chucho would kill him. “Goddamnit.” He hisses, angry at himself because he’s going to have to break up with you. “Yeah, fine.” He spits out. “Tomorrow.” He hangs up the phone and sighs.

You are laughing at something Chucho says when Javi walks back into the room, looking a little pale. “Everything okay, babe?” You ask and frown when he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Yeah.” He murmurs and hands you a coke and his pop a beer. “Everything’s good.” He shrugs. “Got asked to take a double shift tomorrow.”

You nod, not sure if you believe him, but you can ask him later and you watch him as you sip your drink. He’s tense, like when he’s had a bad shift, but you try to focus on Chucho, wanting to make a good impression. Soon enough, you’re saying goodbye to Chucho with a promise to see him for dinner and Javier guides you to his truck to drive you home and you’re hoping he stays the night again since you don’t have an early shift. “What’s wrong, baby?” You ask, reaching out to caress his arm as he drives, “you seem so tense. You need a blowjob?” You tease, sliding your hand down to his lap.

“No.” He grabs your hand before you can touch his cock and laces his fingers with yours. “No, I’m good, baby.” He promises you. “I just have a headache.” He’s fucking praying that this is some kind of horrible joke or desperate attempt to get him back and he can tell her to fuck off and then explain everything to you. “I’m sorry I’m not better company tonight.”

You stare at him until you nod, “it’s okay. I have some Advil if you want.” You offer but he shakes his head, “I think I need an early night. Too many damn long shifts.” He says and you bring his hand up to kiss the back of his. “Go home and get some sleep. I’ll see you later.” You promise, not wanting him to get sick because he’s working too hard. He pulls up outside your house and you shuffle closer, leaning in to press your lips to his cheek. “It was great to meet your dad. I really like him. Good thing when I love his son.” You smirk and nudge your nose against his when he turns towards you.

“I love you.” The gruff words come out a little desperate, like he wants you to remember that in the future. He kisses you, devouring your mouth in one last kiss like it will be his last and he hates to break away. “Goodnight baby.”

You peck his lips, “goodnight, handsome.” You pat his chest and grab your purse, shifting out of his truck and you make your way to your front door, feeling his eyes on you as you unlock your door. You wave to him before you step inside and he sits there for a second until he finally pulls away. He needs to speak to Lorraine.

**** 

It takes him two days to call you. Swallowing harshly as the phone connects, his heart leaps when he hears your voice but he hates what he has to do. “Hey, it’s me.” He announces. “Hey baby, I’ve tried to call you.” You pout softly, and he closes his eyes. “Yeah I know. Listen - I, this isn’t working out. Okay?” He tells you. “I’m not gonna string you along. So yeah.”

You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut when you hear his words. You choke, trying to get your voice to work, “I- I don’t understand. What’s - why?” You blink, trying to stop the tears. “It’s just too much. I don’t want anything too heavy. I want to have fun.” He lies and you frown, “I didn’t want - I didn’t - okay.” You choke on a sob, “uh, I guess this is goodbye.” He hums, “yeah. Goodbye.” He says your name and the line goes dead. You sob, letting the phone hang from the cord and you collapse on the wall.

**** 

“Why the fuck do you want to go here?” Javi protests, pulling away from Lorraine as she steers him towards the dinner. “What does it matter?” She smirks at him and reaches for his hand again. “You’re through with her, right? So she’s just a waitress.” Javi shakes his head. “Goddamnit Lorraine.” He hisses and she pouts, stroking her flat stomach. “Don’t curse, it’s not good for the baby.” She’s been smug about their relationship, happy that he is back with her, even if she knows that he is unhappy. 

You are clearing a table when the bell above the door rings and your eyes widen when you see Javier and Lorraine. “Son of a bitch.” You mutter, unable to believe he’s back with her. He told you stories about how she would bully him into working for her dad, or calling in sick. She is controlling and you can’t believe he’s gone back to her. Maybe you were just a bit of fun. Your coworker offers to take the table but you shake your head, knowing you can’t run and hide. You walk over to their table and set some menus down. “Can I get you anything to drink?” You ask after you introduce yourself, feeling Javier’s eyes on you as you look at Lorraine.

“Baby, what should I have?” She asks coyly. “You’ve been here so much more than I have.” She flutters her lashes at Javi and he huffs, pulling his hand away when she reaches for him and leans back. “Just order a fucking drink.” He hisses, wishing that she had chosen any other restaurant in Laredo, but he’s sure she’s done this on purpose.

“I can’t have coffee. Maybe decaf.” She hums and you nod, “I’ll get you a decaf.” wondering if she has sleeping issues. You grab Javier a coffee without him asking and set them both down on the table after you breathe deeply at the coffee pots. “Can I get you anything to eat?” You ask, trying not to cry at how insane this situation is. “There’s a lot of things I can’t have but I’m starving. I’m eating for two.” She grins, placing her hand on her lower stomach. Your eyes widen and you nearly drop your pad, feeling like your heart has been crushed and you finally look at Javier.

Javi wants to just disappear, his eyes find yours and he begs you to understand. “Ten weeks.” He chokes out, wanting you to know that he didn’t cheat on you. This is a fucked up situation and he wishes it was you sitting opposite him.

You swallow harshly, knowing he got her pregnant just before he met you and it stings. You want to crawl under the table and sob but you won't give Lorraine the satisfaction. "Co-congrats." You offer him a weak smile and she beams, "we are so happy." Javier doesn't look happy but you tap your pen on your pad, "food?" You choke and Lorraine hums, ordering the oatmeal and Javier orders the All American just like he did the first time you met him. "Coming right up." You squeak and slam the ticket down for Adrian who offers you a look that says "I told you so" and you rush out the back door, covering your mouth as you try to not cry.

“Where are you going?” Javi is halfway out of his seat when Lorraine grabs his arm. “I’m going to the bathroom.” He hisses, jerking his arm away from her. “Quit being a bitch.” He turns around and strides towards the back door, bypassing the bathrooms.

The door opens and you are leaning against the wall when you see him walk towards you. "Don't" You plead, shaking your head. "Don't make this worse. Just go back in there and - and be with her." You plead, knowing that hearing his excuses will make you cry.

Javi stops and takes a breath. “I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen.” He promises you. “I’m so fucking sorry, hermosa.” He whispers before he turns back around and leaves like you want him to.

You watch him go until he heads back inside and you tilt your head back, refusing to let the tears fall and give Lorraine the satisfaction. You know he didn't cheat on you and that's what makes this worse. You love him but he has to be there for his child. Javier isn't the kind of man to walk away from responsibility and you know that's what he is with her. Time wasn't on your side and that's tragic. You compose yourself and walk back in, grabbing the food from the hot plate and you set it down. "Enjoy." You say flatly and walk off, leaving them to eat. When they are done, you remove the plates - Javier's food is hardly touched- and set the check down, not saying a word. Javier grabs his wallet and sets down more cash than the check. You don't walk over there to grab it, watching as Lorraine makes a show of getting out the booth and placing her hand on her stomach like she's seven months gone. "Thanks so much." Lorraine smirks, "maybe we will be back here with our baby for breakfast after church. We will see you then." She chuckles and grabs Javier, his eyes meeting yours and he nods before she is dragging him from the diner. You don't see Javier again. You decided, just before Javier's wedding day, to go on a trip. Get out of town and escape from the news that your love had gotten married. You don't hear the news that he didn't marry Lorraine until you return. When you're back. you hear that Javier had left to go join the DEA. Timing was never on your side.

**** 

“Where do you want to go eat?” Chucho asks and Javi shrugs. “Don’t know too many places open on Thanksgiving.” He answers, although he immediately thinks of the diner. He’s driven by there a few times in the days since he’s been home, but he’s never stopped in. “Well, damnit, I’m hungry.” His dad grumbles and Javi shakes his head. “Come on.” He huffs, grabbing his jacket. “Since you didn’t go grocery shopping, let’s go somewhere. Maybe they are still open on Thanksgiving.”

You smile at the old man who gives you a large tip for the holiday. You shove the money in the tip jaw to be split between you and Adrian when the bell rings. You turn around and your eyes widen when you see Chucho followed by a man you haven't seen in years. You inhale sharply, walking over to them. "Chucho. It's good to see you." You smile at the old man who you've seen at the store and around town several times. He never tried to justify his son's behavior and you never held malice towards him. "Happy Thanksgiving." You say and glance around, "pick any table. I'll get you some menus."

Javi stares, unable to believe that you are here. It’s like he’s dreaming like he has so many times before, coming into the diner to find you waiting for him. He murmurs your name and nods. “Good, uh, to see you.” He tells you, his heart pounding but you have to hate him, or at least think he’s an asshole. He is an asshole for what he did to you.

You finally look at him and God, he's still so fucking handsome. He has more lines on his face, but he still makes your heart pound. You hadn't heard about a child being born so you don't know what happened but you had heard Lorraine is now married to some big wig oil guy living in Dallas with two kids. "Good to see you." You murmur, turning around to grab some menus.

Javi’s eyes drop down to your ass before he looks away guiltily. He doesn’t need to be eying you like he had a chance, you’re probably married and have a couple of kids by now. “You shouldn’t have let that one get away.” Chucho tells him, having watched the way his son watched you. “Colombia might have been different.” Javi sighs and leans back. “Yeah, I know.” He grunts, glancing back at you as you come back with the menus, “believe me.”

You set the menus down, “coffee?” You ask and both men nod. You walk off to grab the pot and two cups, hating how your stomach feels like lead around Javier. It’s been years but you still think about him. You’ve been in and out of relationships but no one ever stuck in your heart like Javier did. Ridiculous considering you were together for two months. “What can I get you to eat?” You ask, grabbing your pad.

Chucho orders the Thanksgiving special and looks towards his son. Javi doesn’t even glance at the menu, too busy staring at you. “The All American if you still have it.” He tells you softly, glancing at your hand and noticing that you aren’t wearing a ring. You might just not wear one at work, but he’s selfishly hoping you are single even though you deserve someone to love and worship you.

Your heart twists at the familiar order and you nod, “hash browns, not grits.” You remember and he offers you a soft smile that makes your throat tighten. “That’ll be right out.” You nod and take the menus, handing the ticket to Adrian. “She owns the place now.” Chucho tells his son, not having spoken to him about you until today.

Javi’s brow shoots up and looks over at your back, watching as you methodically organize the condiments to bring over to them. “She deserves it.” He murmurs, thinking that you deserved a lot of nice things in life. “How often do you come here?” He asks.

“Couple of times a month when I want breakfast.” Chucho confesses, “I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t your business. She’s a good girl and I think you made a huge mistake letting Lorraine drag you along but it wasn’t my life. She is single, in case you were wondering. No husband or kids.” Chucho reveals quietly, tapping his fingers on the table.

“Pa.” Javi hates how his entire body thrills at the news that you are single. “She hates me. She has to fucking hate me after what I did.” He reminds his dad. “There’s not a chance in hell I would ever have another chance with her.” He watches as you turn back towards him and swallows. “Shit.”

You set the condiments down, feeling Javier’s eyes on you, and you smile at Chucho, “it’s good to see you again.” You tell his father, “your food will be out soon.” You walk away from the table, feeling Javier’s eyes on you and you reach for the menus, deciding to clean them off while you wait for their food.

“The least you could do is apologize.” Chucho huffs, making Javi’s shoulders round slightly. He knows that he owes you an apology and he sighs after a moment, tapping the table and standing up to walk over to you. “Can I talk to you?” He asks, sure that you will tell him to fuck off.

You glance at the empty diner and nod, gesturing for Javier to walk out the back door with you. You will let him give you his explanation, curious about why he didn’t end up marrying Lorraine. “Talk.” You order when you’re outside.

He’s nervous, rubbing his hands on his jeans and chuckles slightly. “Uh, so- uh, I owe you an apology.” He starts off. “I’m sorry. Lorraine called me, that day you met Pa and she told me she was pregnant.” He explains, knowing that it’s no excuse. “I was - shit, I was so angry at myself, because she wanted to get married for the baby, and I fucking just knew I had to marry that bitch.” He sighs. “And?” You prompt. “The night before the wedding she claimed she ‘had a miscarriage’.” He snorts. “I knew then that she had been faking the entire thing. Her cousin confessed. She knew we were together. Someone had see us out in town and she lied because she knew I wouldn’t shirk my responsibilities.”

You cross your arms, letting him sweat. You’ve had a lot of time to think about what happened. You huff, “did you not get her to take a pregnancy test?” You ask and he shakes his head, “she had a scan and a doctor’s test result.” You snort, “she’s inventive. Smarter than I gave her credit for.” You rub your forearms, “you really hurt me. I thought we had something. I really loved you. You devastated me and I had to work hard to recover from that, which is insane because we only dated for two months. You’ve been on my mind during every date I’ve been on. Compared every man I’ve been in a relationship with to you. I hated you for so long because you haunted me.” You shake your head and lower your arms, stepping back.

Javi sighs softly and doesn’t reach for you. “It’s safe to say you haunted me too.” He admits. “I- I came by your house.” He confesses softly. “The day I- my wedding day. I came to tell you how stupid I had been. How I wasn’t marrying her and that if you could take an idiot back, I would love you forever.” He flashes you a rueful grin. “You weren’t home that day. Or any day for the week that I came to your door.” He snorts. “Almost thought you had sold the house and moved.”

You stare at him, seeing the truth in his eyes, "I left town. Went away so I didn't show up at the church and try to get you to call it off." You chuckle humorlessly and shake your head. "I loved you so much I even considered telling you I'd be there for your child with Lorraine but I didn't want to be selfish and break up a family. I left and when I came back, I heard you'd joined the DEA. figured something had happened to the baby and you'd left Lorraine."

“Never was a baby, just a woman jealous that I had moved on.” He shakes his head. “I haven’t even dated since then.” You snort in disbelief and he nods. “I’m serious. I- fuck-“ he shuffles slightly in embarrassment. “I paid for sex when I needed it.”

Your eyes widen, "you paid for sex? You could've gotten sex for free every day night here." You chuckle and he shakes his head, "did it for intel on Escobar and for company, I guess." He shrugs and you smirk, "guessing you learned a few things down in Colombia?"

Javi smirks back at you and nods. “I have.” He admits. “Gave me a discount if I made them cum more than once.” He jokes.

"You must've gotten it nearly free." You playfully roll your eyes, remembering how good he was. "I've missed you. You look - you look like you've got the world on your shoulders." You observe, "not as carefree as I remember you."

“Colombia was tough.” He admits, shuffling slightly. “I’ve missed you too. A lot.” He had thought of you every day but figured that might be a little creepy. “You look good. Happy. You bought the place?”

“Yeah. Took some equity from my parent’s house to buy it when the old owner wanted to sell. I couldn’t imagine working anywhere else and I love it. It’s home for me.” You smile, glancing back at the diner. “I’m happy but not as happy as the time I spent with you.”

“Me neither.” Javi shuffles again and looks down at his feet before peering back at you. “I have no right to ask, and tell me to go to hell if you want, but how about I take you on a date?” He offers. “You might find I’m a miserable son of a bitch and the best thing I ever did for you was leave.” He shrugs. “And then you’ll at least get dinner out of it.”

You are shocked and bite your lip, uncertain of giving him a chance after how much he hurt you but you remember it wasn’t him, it was Lorraine. You nod, offering him a soft smile, “I’d like that. Just - just don’t hurt me again.” You plead softly, “you want to go get your food? It should be ready.”

“Only if you sit down with us?” He asks, smiling in relief that you are willing to give him another chance. Those two months were the best of his life and he still loves you now. Your memory helped him through some tough times and you didn’t even know it.

You nod, “okay.” You open the back door and Javier follows you inside. Adrian has the food ready so you grab it, carrying it over to the table, and Javier sits down, winking at you. You head over to grab a cup of coffee, “Adrian. You can take a break.” You tell the cook who grunts and eyes Javier through the window. You make your way back to the table with your cup of coffee and you take a seat next to Javier. Chucho’s eyes widen and you smile, flustered by the knowing look on the old man’s face.

“You apologize?” Chucho huffs and Javi rolls his eyes. “Yes, pa, I apologized. I have a lot to make up for.” He glances at you and smirks. “But I’ll grovel as long as I need to.”

You look at Chucho, “he has a lot of grovelling to do.” You tease and Chucho nods, “he absolutely does.” He raises his eyebrows at his son as he cuts up his food. After they eat, you clear the plates and Chucho goes to take out his wallet, “it’s on the house. Happy Thanksgiving.” You smile and Chucho shakes his head, “she’s always giving me free food.” He opens his wallet and pulls out some cash, “get yourself something nice or put it in the tip jar.” He says and it’s clear this is a routine the two of you have.

“How long are you going to be open for?” Javi asks after Chucho makes a comment about being out in the truck and leaving his son behind.

You glance at the clock, “not too much longer. I like to shut earlier on Thanksgiving nowadays.” You admit, “give Adrian time with his boyfriend and I was planning on having a bath.” You chuckle, “got myself some new bath bombs.”

Javi frowns for a moment before he understands. “Oh, those little fizzy things, right?” He asks, not having taken too many baths. He mainly sticks with showers. “That’s good. Hopefully you’ll be able to unwind.” He comments. “You still have the day after Thanksgiving off?” He asks. “Or does the boss work all the time?”

“I have Jean opening tomorrow so the boss has the day off. I was thinking about doing some Black Friday shopping. Unless someone else would like to do some groveling?” You hum, tilting your head at Javier.

He grins at you. “I think I should probably start, don’t you think?” He asks, shrugging slightly. “I can hold your bags if you want.”

“You hate shopping.” You remember and Javier chuckles, “exactly. Part of the grovelling process.” He winks and you smirk, looking at Chucho who is grinning. “Very well, Peña. Pick me up tomorrow at 10am. Bring your badge. I think it could come in handy in standoffs for the good stuff.” You wink and Javier snorts, “it’s a date.” You smile, “yeah. It’s a date.” You murmur softly, heart thumping again.

**** 

You hadn’t been lying when you said you wanted to go shopping. You’ve dragged him to every store in town, but Javi hasn’t complained. He’s let you shop and given you his opinion as you look through different items. The grin you throw at him occasionally tells him that you are testing him, but he just smiles back and offers to hold whatever bag you are carrying.

When you pull up outside your house, you turn towards Javier. He’s told you some things about Colombia during the day and you can see how haunted he is by his time there. You haven’t pushed but he’s not the Javier you knew, he’s deeper, darker, but there’s times where you see the funny, lighthearted Javier you loved and you know you’ve changed too. You still love him but now there’s more to love, no matter how dark those parts may be. You turn to look at him, “I think I need help taking all these bags into the house.” You hum, grabbing your purse.

“Of course.” He climbs out of the car and opens the back door. You’ve also got a ton of shit in the trunk, but he doesn’t complain as he starts to pile bags onto his arms. Hopefully he can get it all in two trips. Maybe three with that new coffee maker you bought at Belk.

You grab some bags and make your way to your front door, unlocking it, and you punch in your alarm code while Javier walks in behind you to place your bags down. You walk into the house to turn on the lights while Javier finishes his last trip for your things. He shuts your front door and you walk over to him, “thank you for doing that. Very good groveling.” You tease, placing your palms on his chest.

He huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes at you. “At least you’re having fun with this.” He tells you. He licks his lips and his eyes slide down to your mouth before he looks up again. “You need me to do anything else for you?” He asks, voice dropping slightly.

You bite your lip, knowing you shouldn’t rush into anything but you’ve lost so much time with him thanks to Lorraine. He left to go fight the bad guys in Colombia and you can’t blame him for doing what he thought was best. “You could kiss me.” You murmur and he nods, leaning in to press his lips to yours.

Kissing you is like coming home. Javi groans as you soften against him, folding you up in his arms and deepening the kiss. Almost fearful of being rejected he takes his time and slowly slides his tongue against your lips to beg for entrance.

You eagerly open your mouth, your tongue sweeping against his and his groan vibrates against your lips. The kiss makes your heart flutter and you slide your hands to cup his cheeks, pressing yourself against him and you’re brought back to that first night you slept with Javi.

Kissing you know is just as addictive as it had been so long ago. Maybe more so because he knows exactly what he has. He curls you into him, eager to taste every bit of your mouth and overwhelm you both with the passion the is mounting.

​​You can tell he’s changed. His kiss is harsher, more desperate, and you can sense the turmoil behind it compared to the playfulness of so many years ago. You let him back you against your front door, your fingers working on the buttons of his shirt while he hardens against your thigh. You whine when he pulls back from your lips, kissing down your neck while his hands fumble with the button of your jeans. You moan when his fingers slide under the denim, finding your clit, and you manage to get his shirt open, trailing your hands along his chest.

He needs to pull away and ask if you are okay with this, if you want him, but he can’t. Too afraid of rejection right now as his fingers caress your folds and rub circles on your clit. He promised you he would grovel and he huffs to himself as he kisses down your chest and mouths at your breast over your shirt and bra, biting sharply before he’s sinking down to his knees in front of you.

You look down at him in surprise, shocked that he’s on his knees, working on pulling your jeans down. “What are you doing?” You ask breathlessly and he looks up at you, smirking, “I said I’d grovel on my knees.” You chuckle, nodding as you step out of your jeans and he hooks his fingers in your panties, dragging them down. “I’ve missed you.” You gasp when he leans in to kiss your thigh.

“Missed you too.” He groans. “Missed this pussy. Your taste.” He presses his nose to the thatch of hair between your thighs and inhales. “Your smell. You have the best fucking smell, baby. Missed your laugh. Your smile.” Everything that he lists is punctuated with kisses around your pelvis and thighs. “The way you would curl against me to sleep.” He looks up at you. “I wasn’t lying to you, I loved you. I still love you.” He promises. “I never stopped.”

Your heart pounds in your chest as you look down at him. No one has ever compared to him and you know you'll always love him. You run your fingers through his hair, "me neither. Always loved you." You promise and he leans in to slide his tongue through your folds. "Fuck." You pant as he flicks over your clit, his hands grabbing your ass to tilt your hips. You lift your leg onto his shoulder and you whimper when he wraps his arm around your thigh, burying his face in your cunt.

He’s sloppy and eager, rushing to make you moan his name again. He has dreamed of that sound for years. Closing his eyes and humming as his tongue flicks over your clit again and moves lower to push inside your wet walls. Drowning in your essence happily as he grovels before you.

It's been so long since you were worshiped like this and you tilt your head against the door, closing your eyes. "Fuck, Peña. Missed that tongue. You've gotten better." You observe, loving how he laps at you and it doesn't take long to work you up. You're soon panting, chest heaving, and your thigh shakes when he sucks on your clit. "Oh fuck!" You yelp, stomach twisting as you fall apart on his tongue.

His hands grip your hips, keeping you in place as your knees threaten to buckle and he moans into your cunt. Working you through it with determination until you’re whimpering and then he’s pulling back with a satisfied grin. “Still tastes so good.” He praises, kissing your hip.

You drag him up from the floor, lowering your leg and you press your lips to his while you push his shirt off his shoulders. "Bed. Want you in my bed." You order, letting his shirt drop to the floor as you grab his hand and drag him to the same bedroom he knew those years ago.

He chuckles as he lets you take him wherever you want to go. “I want to be in your bed.” He promises, reaching out with his free hand and snagging your waist to drag you closer and pressing his lips to your again. Sliding his hands up your back to unclip your bra beneath your t-shirt.

You let him pull your shirt over your head after he breaks the kiss, dragging your bra down your arms, and you toss them to the floor as you stumble into your bedroom. "Fuck, you've gotten more handsome." You observe when he pushes you onto your bed and you bounce while he works on taking off his jeans as he kicks off his shoes.

​​“That’s you.” He huffs. “Prettier than the day I met you.” He kneels on the bed after he wraps his hand around his cock and pumps it. “Fuck- I - I don’t have a condom.” He groans, eyes slipping closed. “I’ve been tested, but I-“

"I'm on the pill. I'm clean. I trust you. Please Jav. I need you." You know it's reckless but you want to feel him again. "If not, I have a condom." You add, wanting him to be comfortable and you bat his hand away to pump his cock.

“Fuck, you know I want to feel you.” He groans and rolls his hips into your firm grip. “Lay back and spread your legs, baby.” He begs. “Let me fuck you.”

You nod, spreading your legs, and he shuffles closer. When he notches himself at your pussy, your eyes flutter closed when he pushes into you. “Look at me.” He demands gruffly and you whimper, opening your eyes as he shifts to hover over you. You immediately cup his cheeks, bringing his mouth down to yours. You shouldn’t forgive him for breaking your heart but you need to. He was trying to do the right thing which was being with the mother of his child but you know he didn’t love her, he loved you.

Javi gives you everything in the kiss. Everything he has emotionally. Pouring himself into you as he slowly inches into your body. Sliding into your heat and feeling like he's come home again.

You caress his shoulders and down his back, loving how he feels. Your walls flutter around him as he stretches you out and you close your eyes, “love you, baby.” You murmur, feeling surrounded by him and you love how he starts to move. He feels more experienced and stronger but you don’t mind.

“Feel so good, so perfect.” He grunts, trying to keep from thrusting too deep or too hard so quickly. You probably haven’t had sex in a while and he doesn’t want to make even a second of this uncomfortable.

You can see how tense he is with the way he clenches his jaw and you want him to fuck you, to claim you. “Need more. Want you to make me yours.” You order, wrapping your legs around his waist.

Once you give him permission, Javi lets himself go. Snapping his hips harshly and filling you with hard strokes that gave him grunting as you clung to him. “Fuck, fuck.” He hisses. “Need this, need you.”

He takes your breath away as he thrusts into you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. Your heels dig into his ass and your nails scratch down his back. “Javi!” You cry, watching his nose flare as he rocks into you. “I- shit - so close. Keep - just like that.”

He grunts, it’s all he can do right now as he rocks into you. Feeling like your walls gripping him is his salvation and losing himself in the soul searing pleasure.

Your walls flutter around him as you are pushed higher and higher. His lips press against your neck, shifting his body to kiss down and take your nipple into his mouth. It’s hot and he bites down, making you react immediately. You clamp down onto his cock, your moan of his name echoing in your room as you soak him.

It’s what he needed to feel. The hit clench of your walls around him, the slick drenching his cock. Javi groans your name, pushing deep as his thrusts falter and he starts to pulse inside you. Closing his eyes and your name becomes a prayer on his lips.

You kiss everywhere you can reach as he twitches inside you, painting your walls. He pants when he stills above you and you caress his back, your body buzzing with emotion. Tears sting in your eyes and you sniff, making him jerk his head up to look at you, “did I hurt you?” He asks immediately and you shake your head, “no. No. I’m just - I’m happy.” You murmur, “so happy that you’re here.” You confess and he kisses your lips, nudging his nose against yours before he kisses your forehead. “I’m not leaving.” He promises and you caress his cheek, closing your eyes. “I’m home, baby.” He vows. 

**** 

“Javi!” You call out, “can you get your Pa another beer?” You ask and Javier comes back from the kitchen to set a beer down on the table for his father and he sets your glass of wine down on the table. “Thanks babe.” You peck his lips when he leans in to kiss you and his head caresses the baby that you cradle. “How is he?” He asks and you smile, looking down at the baby. “Fed and ready for a nap with his daddy. Mama needs her wine. Good thing I have milk stored.” You chuckle and you adjust the baby in your arms to slide him into Javier’s arms so you can tuck your breast away. 

Chucho looks away to be polite and Javier carries the baby into his room, laying him down in his crib. He watches his son for a moment and caresses his cheek, grabbing the baby monitor. He walks back into the dining room and sets the monitor down, picking up his beer, “the food looks delicious, baby.” He says and you smile, “Javier did most of the work today. Adrian helped me prep. We split the cooking so he could take some home to his boyfriend.” You confess and Chucho hums, “it looks incredible, mija.” Javier raises his beer, “happy Thanksgiving.” He toasts and you clink your wine glass against his bottle and Chucho’s bottle. “To the day we met.” You toast back and Javier smiles, leaning over to kiss you softly. This Thanksgiving is very different from past ones. No longer hanging around a diner for a breakfast during his shift, this year he’s spending Thanksgiving with his Pa, his son, and his beautiful wife. He’s truly blessed.

[1980shorrorfilm]

every road i know

click here. resources for palestine, congo, sudan, and other countries.

pairing…ellie williams x gn!reader

in which…ellie thought it was time to solidify your relationship. she might have been wrong.

before you read…inspired by the strangers, minus the killing n stuff. modern day fic. angst with comfort <3

the autumn night is silent, save for the occasional creak of the old miller’s cabin settling into its nighttime routine. you listen to the wind whistling outside, through the tall pines surrounding the small wooden home. 

it’s a lonely town, the nearest house a few miles down the road, something vastly different from your shared apartment in the city. 

ellie started bringing you here after joel had let it collect endless dust and cobwebs, the woman cleaning it all up for you. whenever life got too busy, chaotic, or hard, this way your getaway. peace. just you and her and the nature that surrounded you.

now, it feels as though it’s purgatory. 

the fireplace flickers softly, its glow dancing on the wooden walls, but the warmth couldn’t seem to comfort you. not right now. ellie sits in front of the flames, her silhouette outlined by the orange gentle light.

she has yet to utter a single word to you. the car ride here was silent. even the radio on mute, because ellie couldn’t find the simple strength to turn it up.

the moment is replaying in her mind, over and over, the sad smile you had given her burned into her memory. the thing she’s had anxiety about for the past month. proposing, to you.

the dark velvet box holding the special ring, now lying on the coffee table beside her. a stark reminder of the event.

you’re sat on the couch, chewing your lip, a rose petal in your hand. it’s soft, you find yourself stroking the smooth flower. they cover, nearly, the whole cabin. ellie had thrown the petals around before you had arrived together, trying to make it appear as romantic as possible. 

it’s not her strong suit, her appreciation toward you shown in much different ways than typical lovey-dovey things you see on television, but tonight it felt right. long candles garnish whatever surface she could put them on, yellow and smelling like vanilla. they’re not lit. 

she assumed she’d spark them when you came back from the long day you had. one that started with your favorite breakfast, ellie waking up extra early to make it as perfect as she could. and she did, you made sure to compliment her repeatedly.

then she took you downtown, viewing places you rarely visited, spending more time admiring you than the other pretty views. what occupied most of your time, was going to a museum she took you to on your first date, reminiscing on how awkward you two were compared to now.

she swears that’s her favorite place, and not just because she’s a nerd, because she now associates it with you. 

ellie had took you out to dinner, to your favorite restaurant, hardly eating and claiming she just wasn’t hungry. that was a lie, she just didn’t think she could keep food down. her nerves were washing over her, multiplying when you had finished, and you took a walk near the river, beneath the red trees that blew softly above you.

you had felt her pause in place, holding her warm hand, and you thought maybe the tie had come undone on her sneakers. she had washed them the day prior until her fingers pruned, you found it odd for ellie but didn’t say anything. but that wasn’t the problem. she stared at you like she saw a ghost, and it worried you.

you almost thought this was the end, she was about to tell you those four dreaded words. we need to break up. oh, the idea terrorizes you. that, however, also wasn’t it.

she had whispered inaudible words to herself, then mumbling ‘okay, okay, okay.’

you thought the woman was breaking before you, concern in your eyes, holding her hand tight. then she gulped, trying to get out the rehearsed words that seemed to vanish the longer she stood in your presence. 

how much you mean to her. from the very moment you two got paired up for a project that she insisted she’d do all the work for, but you fought back, finding yourself in her bedroom the entire week, the girl studying you more than the work laid out before her.

she found herself by your side all the time afterward.

she needed to be by your side. 

she doesn’t know how she lived before you, and if she could live without you— no, insisting she could not live with you. she simply wouldn’t have the will. waking up to a bed you didn’t occupy, not hearing your genuine laughter to her most idiotic jokes, not being able to hold you when you experienced the hardest day of your life.

she couldn’t have that. she needs this…you and her, to last forever. so, she asked those four words that you weren’t prepared for. will you marry me?

to which, you didn’t say yes.

you couldn’t. you love ellie, more than you could ever put into words, you swear on your life that you do, and it didn’t at all reflect your feelings for her. you were just…paralyzed. by fear, uncertainty, and the weight of expectations that you couldn’t hold up to for her. every single insecurity, hitting you at once, in the worst moment it possibly could.

you had said her name in a weak whisper, and ellie gulped, realizing what was happening. a tear slipped from your eye, that she quickly wiped away, reassuring you it was okay. that you’re okay. putting you before her, a habit of hers. bits of her broken heart being blown away in the cool wind that hits you, while she cradles yours. 

you walked to the car together in silence, a suffocating fog. a silence that seemed to last forever.

the tension between you two is almost palpable, both of your minds are currently a whirlwind of heavy emotions. a gentle crackle of the fire and ellie shifting in place, makes you finally turn your attention to her. “ellie,” you say her name softly, voice strained as you finally break the unbearable quiet. “can we talk?”

her gaze remains on the fiery flames, her shoulders tense. “we don’t have to,” she replies quietly, “i get it.”

“i don’t think you do,” you lowly say, heart aching at the mere thought of all the negativity running through her precious head, doubts about herself and your relationship. that’s the last thing you could ever want.

ellie swallows thickly, “it doesn’t matter.”

you watch her get up, turning her back to you as she leaves the room. your eyes trail her to the kitchen before you follow her. she doesn’t glance at you as you lean against the nearby counter, watching her grab an expensive champagne bottle. 

you assume she bought it just for tonight, she wouldn’t drink it any other time. she won’t even touch a glass of wine. she pops it open, pouring it into one of the two glasses beside it. “i don’t…” you begin to say as she hovers over the other glass, ellie nodding in response. you’re afraid if you drink it you’ll throw up all the nerves inside your system. 

“i got your favorite ice cream…if you want that instead,” ellie mentions, tapping her finger on the glass, “went to like…3 different stores. couldn’t find the brand you like.”

she ends the sentence with an attempt at a laugh, finding it so silly now. all the effort, for what? humiliation? pity? she sips on the disgusting drink like it would make her feel better. the only other thing that helps her in trying times, is you; and that’s not exactly possible in this scenario.

“do you…” she pauses, staring at the liquid as she swirls it around, “do you want this…us?”

“of course i do,” you answer her without hesitation, taking a step closer to her, but still out of reach. “it’s not that, ellie,” you tell her, trying to figure out how to inform her it’s you and not her, without sounding like a poor cliche overused excuse. 

“it’s just…we’re young…im scared you’re making a mistake,” your voice wavers near the end, ashamed to admit such a thing, that you are her mistake. ellie looks at you like you just spit in her face. she doesn’t know how to interpret the comment, she slightly feels insulted that you would think that she’s making a ‘mistake.’ 

this isn’t putting a shirt on inside out. this isn’t forgetting to turn the light off when you leave a room. it’s not tripping over your step. it’s her committing herself to you, after five beautiful years attached to you, something she wants hundreds more years of, if that were possible. nothing about that is a mistake.

you’re the love of her life. cementing that is not a fucking mistake. 

“is that how you feel?” she flips the script, putting the spotlight on you, feeling like you’re burning beneath it at the accusation. “what?” you whisper, “n-no…no ellie.”

you can’t read her expression, she’s swallowing the rest of her drink, blankly staring ahead. 

she ignores your response, “i’ll drive us home in the morning. you should get some sleep.”

she turns away, placing her glass carefully in the sink, resting there for a moment. your eyes are boring into the back of her head as if you could read the thoughts inside it. so many bad thoughts. 

you push yourself forward, taking a few quiet steps to her. you plant your feet behind her, wrapping your arms around her body. her breathing is slow, her figure painfully stiff, hugging a tree and not your person. so solid despite the endless embraces where she would melt into you.

you murmur her name, holding her tighter. 

ellie can’t resist you.

her hands reach for yours, resting against the center of her torso. her fingers brush against you softly, her breath hitching slightly, before letting out a sigh she’s held in for hours. 

just for this moment, the tension settles beneath the old floorboards of the cabin, giving you air to breathe instead of holding in. your hug is so tender, ellie could be lured to sleep by it. and her body is so warm, you’d rather die than pull away.

you wish it could last forever, and the hours prior could be forgotten. 

then her phone rings from her back pocket, vibrating against you, and she shifts. you let go, biting your lip, watching her fish the device out. joel. assumingly calling to congratulate her. ellie wishes she never told him, because fuck, this is going to be awkward. 

“i uh…should take this,” she whispers, not sparing you a glance when she walks away. you hear the front door open, then shut. you can’t help but walk back into the living room, standing before the window and peeking at ellie, who sat on the porch steps. 

you can’t see her face, her head down, a glow from a cigarette, and grey smoke surrounding her figure. it’s clearly not a happy conversation, there was no sugarcoating what had happened. it pains you. 

you turn back around, following the rose petals that scattered the floor, all the way down the hall, and stopping at the bathroom. you open the door, turning the light on, eyes falling on the several small candles on the edges of the bathtub. red, grey, and purple, they decorated the space. 

ellie really tried to make tonight special.

you stand idly, taking a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, staring at yourself with shame. a dog with its tail tucked between its legs, knowing it did something so drastic, that the only person they love, finds it hard to look at them. 

you quickly turn away. 

you run the bath and wait, tugging your top and pants off, kicking them to the side. you strip naked when it fills up completely, steam radiating from the water. you step in, adjusting to the high temperature, before sinking into it. it almost burns you, but not in a way that you mind. you just don’t care right now. 

ellie is the only thing on your mind. you wonder if she’s talking about you, openly questioning where your relationship lies, if she thinks it’s even going to last after today. 

before you know it, a single tear is falling down your face.

you hug your knees, turning your head and laying your cheek against them. you stare out the open bathroom door, to the wood paneled wall, a framed photo of a deer hung on it.

you forget to blink, spacing out, not noticing the creaking of the front door or the floor. not until ellie is within your view, pausing in the doorway, looking down at you. you’re crying to yourself.

her expression softens, not saying anything when she joins you, kneeling beside the bathtub and touching your face. her thumbs wipe the salty tears from beneath your eyes, but they don’t stop. 

“i’m scared, ellie,” you say just above a whisper, ellie only hears you because of how quiet the cabin is. besides the repetitive dripping from the sink. “i’m gonna fail you…” you continue, your voice now giving up on you, “scared’m gonna ruin this…ruin us…you’re so good, ellie— i just —i couldn’t say yes.”

you choke into a sob, her green eyes now glistening with unshed tears. “oh baby,” she says so softly, giving you the time to process your emotions, to let the tears fall while she holds you. 

“i can’t…” she stops, gulping and sighing, “i can’t change what you think…but i can promise you that nothing could ever change my mind about you.”

her grip on you is firm, reaffirming, as she continues to speak, “we can wait…i’m willing to wait forever for you. i will show you no matter what happens, i will still love you— i will always love you. i just needed…need you to know that.”

very faintly, your lips twitch upwards slightly, ellie mirroring you the moment she notices. “you’re enough for me,” she says, “just you. that’s all i want.”

ellie is, unfortunately, right; it doesn’t change the tainted mindset you have. that, however, has nothing to do with her. you don’t doubt the things she tells you, you’ve never felt more love from someone in your whole life, and you know for a fact that you never will.

and that’s why it brings you relief, to listen to her, understanding her point of view rather than your own, and the cruel demon on your shoulder whispering harsh words into your ear. 

ellie williams is the angel. 

it’s not the first time she’s eased the anxiety taunting you, and it will not be the last. she will always be there, rain or shine, you pushing her away or letting her in. she truly means what she says. you’re enough for her. and soon, you will accept that for yourself.

“i really want to hug you right now.”

ellie chuckles, a lightness in the air as she gets up, grabbing a beige towel. you stand, letting her wrap it around you, shivering at the coolness in the air. not caring about the water droplets still coating your body, ellie’s arms are quickly around you, her palm on the back of your head, cradling it gently.

you instantly feel warm again, at peace.

after the moment of serenity ends, ellie is leading you to the bedroom. she grabs your pajamas from your still-packed bag, letting you put them on while she does the same. your eyes fall on her pale back, watching her throw a white tee on, looking away when she turns her head at you. 

“was thinking about leaving at 8…wanna beat the traffic,” she says, hoping the statement doesn’t go back to making things awkward. just in case, she adds, “can stop at that pancake place you love.”

you can’t ignore the glum undertones of the suggestion, but you still give her a smile, barely modding your head.

you sit in bed, ellie exiting the room to turn off every light in the lonely cabin, leaving you with your thoughts. you hate it. thinking about how happy the two of you were coming here, compared to you leaving. you don’t even want to leave. you want to shut out the rest of the world, but more importantly, your mind.

how differently things would be right now, if you could just do that.

your eyes meet hers when she enters the room again, and you debate what you’re about to ask her. you can’t help it. “can i see it?”

“hm?” “the ring.”

ellie looks at you, freezing for a moment, stuttering, “y-yea…sure.”

again, she exits the room, grabbing the velvet small box on the table, the one she avoided even sparing a glance at just a minute ago. then she jogs back, scratching the back of her neck. she’s nervous as she approaches you, placing it in your open hands, like it’s a baby. 

it’s the first time you’re getting a decent look at it, having been unable to observe it during the moment, and it’s beautiful. it’s simple, yet the green sapphire is so elegant, resembling the way ellie’s eyes look beneath the sun. you smile at it. 

“i…can’t return it…if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“i’m not,” you tell her, “it’s gorgeous, ellie.”

you don’t want to give it back to her. it feels…so right, in your possession, that you can’t help but nervously slide it down your finger. there’s a bittersweet smile on your face at how perfect it is. how when you look at it, ellie is the first thing to come to your mind. 

your lover, for eternity. your lover that swears to you, that your need for her is as mutual as her need for you, no matter the circumstances, it is permanent. that your worries are just that. worries— self-doubt, and bitter thoughts about yourself, that are only present in the moment. they won't last forever. not like you and her.

with hesitance, you take it off, avoiding her gaze when you give it back to her. “i’ll be ready,” you promise, your finger oddly feeling so lonely despite only wearing it for a minute. “i will…i will be,” you find yourself mumbling, ellie getting closer and grabbing your hands.

“hey, i meant what i said,” her thumbs stroke your skin, reminding you once more, “i can wait forever for you.”

and she means it.

[starry-hughes]

façade

jack hughes x reader (ex)

summary: jack hughes can’t admit he lost you.

warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST, jack hughes is a LIAR

navigation

Everything was muffled as Jack Hughes stared at his cup. A clear cup full of bubbly champagne. Guests around him, mostly family, all laughing and talking. Jack didn’t like champagne. You didn’t like champagne. It was never kept in the apartment because of the shared dislike for it. It tasted sour in Jack’s mouth.

He broke from his trance as Quinn slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Stop pouting,” his older brother joked. “Your girlfriend had a work trip, you can survive a wedding without her.”

It stung. It really did. You weren’t his girlfriend. You hadn’t been since April. But he hadn’t gotten the courage to tell anyone that the two of you had broken up. And here Jack was, at a cousin’s wedding, lying to every family member who asked him where you were. “Oh she has a work trip, couldn’t make it unfortunately.” The lie came out easier than ever. He had been lying to everyone so it was easy to continue doing so.

His parents. God he felt guilty for lying to them. It was like he was eight years old again, lying that he did his homework already. Except now, the lie was bigger than undone homework. The lie was that every time he looked at his phone, he was texting you. Every time his parents asked about you, he would just say you were busy with work, or make up some story about how you had called earlier and told him about your day. How he made sure he sent flowers or dinner to you since he was away and you weren’t with him. The lie just got bigger and bigger when his dad sat down and gave him the talk about proposing, making sure he asked for permission before proposing, the offer of the family heirloom ring.

His family loved you. Everyone loved you. He barely held himself together when his uncle joked that the next wedding would be Jack’s and yours. Oh if only they knew.

Jack didn’t know where it all went wrong. Everything had seemed perfectly fine. Everything was fine in Jack’s eyes. Then he watched as your stuff had slowly began disappearing from the apartment. You weren’t around as much. When the team had finally allowed Jack to get his surgery, when it was confirmed that the team wouldn’t make playoffs, he was home more.

It seemed fine. And then he finally asked what was wrong.

Luke was on a roadtrip. Jack was recovering from surgery but he asked what was wrong. “What is happening to us?”

The words hit you like a truck. You weren’t ready to have this conversation. It was going to hurt. But you knew you were in the wrong. You had decided to slowly leave without even talking to Jack. And now he knew. “We both know we aren’t happy.”

Your words broke his heart. He swore he felt his heart stop working. He was happy. “I’m happy,” he stuttered. His arm was in a sling but all he wanted to do was hug you. “I’m not, Jack.”

Tears stung his eyes. You were going to break his heart. “I can fix this. Let me fix this!” His voice was breaking. Everything was unraveling before him. He couldn’t play hockey. He was about to lose the one person in the world he was sure he couldn’t live without. This wasn’t fair. “It can’t be fixed!” you snapped back, “I’m not happy here. I’m not happy with you. Or this relationship anymore.”

There it was. His heart shattering. His eyes hurt and hot tears rolled down his cheeks. “What did I do wrong?” his voice cracked. “We are just in different parts of our lives.” How could he not see this coming? How was it such a shock to him? How had he been so stupid to let himself lose you?

“I can fix it, I promise.”

He was pleading, begging. Anything to make you reconsider. He thought about his summers with you and his family, the way you joked around with his brothers, the way you loved talking to his parents, the way you would run around with his youngest cousins. The boat days when you looked pretty his eyes couldn’t be on anything or anyone else. The family reunions where you sat with his grandparents and listened to their stories.

He thought about the winters with you. The winters where you curled around him in bed because you were cold. The game days where you showed up in his jersey. The way you stood in the stands and cheered him on. The time it snowed when you went home with him on Christmas break and watching you stare at the snowflakes in awe. He thought about the autumns with you. The way you loved walks in the city, watching the leaves change colors. The way the air turned cool and you would steal his jackets. The way you and him would curl up, undressed in bed, windows open and the cool autumn air would blow in and give you the need to be closer to him.

The springs with you. The season he bought you flowers every week. The air warming up and watching your wardrobe change back to spring colors and how pretty you looked. The way you would pick a flower from the grass and put it in his hair. How you stared at how the sun reflected his eyes. How he fell in love with you over and over again with the seasons.

And all of it was slipping away in moments.

It was like he was watching three years circle the drain. The love you had for him had drained out of the sink and his was overflowing. Love, like water, spilled on the ground, over the lip of this metaphorical sink, it was filling, it was always full, always overflowing. And he hadn’t even realized that you had pulled the drain on your sink.

“Please.” It was one word. It came out strained. His mouth was dry. Was he about to throw up? How would he have to tell his family? His friends? How would he have to admit he lost the best damn thing that walked into his life? How would he admit that he let it just walk out?

For a second, you stared at him. Memories flashed through your brain. How Jack looked on your first date. How he looked lying next to you in bed at night, sleeping peacefully. Were you really about to give this all up? Yes.

“I’m sorry.”

When Luke returned from his roadtrip, he noticed the apartment was colder. Jack’s bedroom door shut and your stuff was missing. He assumed he would tell him eventually but it never came. Luke watched Jack bite his tongue days later when Nico asked about you, he watched the lie fall out of Jack’s mouth. Something about you having to relocate for your job but you were still dating. Luke knew it was a lie.

Now, Jack stood in the middle of the reception at his cousin’s wedding. At least he wasn’t still at the ceremony, watching two people in love seal their relationship with rings, watching the event that he was sure that you and him would eventually reach. The reception was lovely. And there he was with his glass of champagne that was getting warmer by the second.

Quinn stood on one side of Jack, Luke on the other. “When you and (Y/N) get married do I get to be the best man or does Lukey get to?” Quinn asked. He didn’t mean it to remind Jack that he was a liar. He genuinely had no idea Jack and you weren’t together. Luke stared at Jack, watching his eyes glaze over with tears for a brief second. Luke was hoping, praying, silently begging that Jack would end his own self-inflicted pain.

Jack forced a smile and a laugh, “You two can fight for that position. (Y/N) doesn’t care either way.”

[aventurineswife]

I love to think that Aventurine would tie a strand of his hair (i mean its like gold already) around his beloved's ring finger as a silent engagement ring...Literally... Imagine coming to him crying that it ripped and him laughing telling that there are way more from where it came from as he detaches another strand and double ties this time just as a reassuring :') [feel free to use the idea if it inspires you im just so obsessed nowadays]

Ties that Bind Us

Summary: After a delicate strand of Aventurine's hair, which he had tied around your finger as a silent engagement ring, breaks, you approach him feeling emotional.

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Fluff, Light Angst, Comfort, Established Relationship, Suggestive(nothing explicit), Intimate Moments, Playful Teasing, Emotional Reassurance, Soft Romantic Gestures, Vulnerability.

Warnings: Mild suggestive content, Emotional vulnerability, Brief crying, he calls you “Love” (because you are the love of his life 🫶).

A/N: THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA, INSTEAD OF GETTING AN ARTIFICIAL THING, YOU GIVE YOUR BELOVED SOMETHING GENIUNE AND OF YOUR OWN 😭 BUT MAN HE'S GONNA GO BALD IF HE KEEPS OFFERING HIS HAIR!!

(Keep those requests coming, I love writing about them! Perhaps send something slight spicy(don't ask me for full smut😭) or gorey too if you dare that is ;))

In the dim glow of your shared home, a soft breeze rustled through the open window as you watched Aventurine, or Kakavasha as you privately called him, sit at his desk, deeply engrossed in his work. His sandy golden-blond hair fell in perfect waves, shimmering under the gentle light. You smiled, fondly remembering how, just days ago, he had tied a single strand of that very hair around your ring finger.

A silent promise. A commitment so personal, it felt more intimate than any grand proposal.

But now, that golden thread had snapped, the ends frayed where the delicate piece had worn out over time. You felt a tug at your heart. It wasn’t just a strand of hair, it was the bond you two shared — fragile, tender, and impossibly beautiful.

Approaching him quietly, you stood at his side, fingers fiddling nervously with the broken piece in your hand. “Kakavasha…” you whispered softly, breaking his focus. His magenta and cyan eyes flicked up from his work, softening when he saw you.

“What’s troubling you, love?” His voice was rich with warmth and affection, though laced with his usual playful charm.

You showed him the broken strand, lips quivering slightly as you murmured, “It… it snapped. I’m sorry.” The weight of your emotions caught you off guard, and you blinked back tears, feeling silly for crying over something so small.

But Aventurine’s expression didn’t change. In fact, a gentle chuckle escaped his lips. His signature smile spread across his face as he reached out to cup your cheek, brushing away a tear with his thumb. “Oh, my dear…” he murmured, his tone both amused and deeply affectionate. “There’s plenty more where that came from.”

Before you could protest, he reached for a new strand of his hair and, without hesitation, gently wound it around your ring finger again, this time doubling the loop to ensure it would hold longer. He kissed your hand once he finished, a light peck full of promise. “See? All fixed. Stronger now.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly through your lingering emotions, touched by his gesture and the way he made light of what had seemed like a disaster to you. “Thank you.” you whispered, your heart swelling with warmth as you looked into his eyes.

He tilted his head, studying you in that way only he could—reading every nuance of your expression. "Crying over a single strand, hmm?" he teased, leaning closer, his breath ghosting over your skin. "It’s like you're trying to tug at my heartstrings."

Your blush deepened as his thumb stroked along your jawline. "What happens when it breaks again?" you asked, though the question came out in a more breathless tone than you’d intended.

Aventurine’s smile widened, his voice dropping into something more intimate, more his personal self, Kakavasha. “I’ll keep tying new ones,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear as his hand found its way to your waist, pulling you close. “Over and over again. Until there’s no more hair left to give. And even then…” His lips found your temple. “I’ll find something else to bind us together.”

You shivered, not just from the cool breeze that swept through the room but from the way his words wrapped around your heart, anchoring you to him in a way that felt unbreakable.

As you rested your head against his chest, your heart pounded in sync with his, your body relaxing into his embrace. The warmth between you grew, soft and inviting. His fingers played with your hair now, lazily twirling a few strands, but there was something unspoken in the air.

"Kakavasha…" you whispered, your voice trembling with something more than just gratitude.

He chuckled low, the sound vibrating through your body. "Cracking already, are we?" His fingers slipped beneath your chin, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. His eyes shimmered with mischief, but there was something deeper—something more vulnerable, peeking through the cracks of his usual playful facade.

Aventurine cracked, and Kakavasha peeked out.

The depth in his gaze was unmistakable now, and your breath caught in your throat. You could feel the shift between you two—the teasing banter giving way to something far more intimate. His lips hovered near yours, barely a whisper away, his warm breath mingling with yours.

“And if you break again…” His voice was a low, sultry murmur, his fingers tracing lazy patterns along your spine. “I’ll be right here, fixing it every time, love.”

His lips brushed yours, gentle at first, as if savoring the moment. But soon, that gentleness gave way to something more passionate, a deeper need igniting between you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer still, until there was no space left between you.

And in that moment, as his kiss deepened, you knew — no matter how many strands might snap, or how many times you might fall apart, Aventurine, Kakavasha, would always be there, ready to tie them back together.

[2amriize]

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ reactions

✧ key: ☁️ fluff / ✮ suggestive / 𖦹 angst / ★ crack

⟡ how they act around their crush ☁️ ⟡ first time sleeping together ☁️ ⟡ when you start crying while watching a k-drama ☁️ ⟡ when you are both idols (hyung line.) ☁️ ⟡ when you are both idols (maknae line.) ☁️ ⟡ when they found out your crush on them through another member ☁️ ⟡ when they accidentally confess to you ☁️ ⟡ when you run away after confessing your feelings ☁️ ⟡ when he is obliviously in love with you ☁️ ⟡ when you are super scared of bugs ☁️

⟡ admiring idol!reader ☁️ ⟡ when you act distant after seeing them with another girl 𖦹 ⟡ when they are on the same variety show as their crush ☁️ ⟡ what type of skinship/affection they prefer ☁️ ⟡ after the first fight 𖦹 ⟡ when you cry while huggin after a long day ☁️ ⟡ when you runaway when they confess their feeling, but they know you feel the same ☁️★ ⟡ love language ☁️ ⟡ when you ignore them as a prank ★ ⟡ petnames they would use ☁️

⟡ when you faint during an argument 𖦹 ⟡ when reader was a bet 𖦹 ⟡ calling out their names while having a wet dream ✮ ⟡ they find you crying but you runaway ☁️ ⟡ as your brothers ☁️ ⟡ first kiss ☁️ ⟡ angry confessions 𖦹 ⟡ when you tell them you wanna break up 𖦹 ⟡ when you sleep on the couch after an argument 𖦹 ☁️ ⟡ drunk confessions ☁️

⟡ when they say something really hurtful and then try to make it up 𖦹 ⟡ unexpectedly sharing room with them ☁️ ⟡ when you take off ur promise ring during an argument ☁️ ⟡ pushing you against the wall (and kissing you) ✮ ⟡ pepero challenge ☁️ ⟡ couple items ☁️ ⟡ when you post a suggestive photo while you are mad at each other ✮ ⟡ when you unexpectedly go to their practice room and hear them talking about you ☁️ ⟡ taking care of you when you're sick ☁️ ⟡ when you show up at their concert unexpectedly ☁️

⟡ when you beg them to not break up with you 𖦹 ⟡ cuddling with them ☁️ ⟡ attractive thing they do ☁️ ⟡ when you tell them to stop doing what they are doing in a harsh way 𖦹 ⟡ when reader was a bet (part 2) ☁️ / 𖦹 ⟡ when you call them by their name ⟡ aftercare w/riize⟡ when you yell at them ⟡ as your brother's best friend ⟡ when you don't come home after a big fight

⟡ when you go to sleep with them but you don't hug them ⟡ things they do that makes you seconds think about your friendship ⟡ RIIZE as love trope ⟡ when you propose before them ⟡ when they see someone flirting with you ⟡ hand placement (soft) ⟡ 'Am I your chauffeur?' ⟡ hand placemente (hard) ⟡ reader goes out at night without them ⟡ babysitting with riize

⟡ RIIZE having a crush on you, but you have bf ⟡ friend!riize flirting with you ⟡ long distance relationship ⟡

[joonsytip]

Only for Love || Mingyu - Part 1

Pairings: Mingyu x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Husband!Mingyu, Cold Wife!Reader, Arranged Marriage au, Contract Marriage au, Divorce au

Synopsis: When an accidental discovery has your perception of happy married life crumbling down, you do what you think is the best for everyone involved. Naturally, your opinion of the best doesn't cater to your husband's. So what happens when things spiral out due to unforeseen events?

Warnings: This part is SFW, Reader is cold & blunt but also shy, Mingyu is gullible and impulsive, lack of communication, profanities, heartbreak, breakup alluding to emotional cheating.

Word Count: 6.5k

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue

The sun is shining brightly in the clear sky with white, fluffy clouds drifting across in it. Just like the clouds, Mingyu has been drifting away in his pool of thoughts. As he sips his favourite beverage which he decided to get before starting work for the day, the smile on his lips never leaves.

Life has been good to Mingyu lately. His boss has boosted to him about the surety of him being promoted to the Head of Brand Marketing, a position he has been eyeing for a long time, which would also mean an upgrade in paycheck so he could contribute more in the care of his parents, pampering his sister a bit more even though they have always been content.

A notification breaks his blissful reverie and the contact name on the screen widens the stretch of his lips. It's a text from Sora, his girlfriend of five years. But his lips curl down as he reads the message stating she's extending her stay at her home for some reasons again, for the third time. A frown sits on his face at the thought of spending another series of nights in his empty shared apartment without being in the embrace of the love of his life.

Mingyu wears his heart on his sleeves. He can be defined as a pure romanticist, an absolute sentimentalist. He's liked by everyone. Apart from sculpted physique and height, he's lovable because of his nature as well.

It's a daily routine, he walks into his workplace and a swarm of bee like people come to greet him, some wanting just a glimpse of him, some wanting to get running guidance on how to maintain work-life balance, others just to confirm that Kim Mingyu isn't just a myth but an actual existence.

It's also evident that Mingyu is popular not only because of looks but also how he always helps his coworkers, a great leader to his subordinates, an outstanding resource to his bosses and a reliable asset to the company. The year-end performance evaluation knocks around the corner and everyone is busy to clock details, set the impression right. Mingyu has a good feeling about it.

He isn't much of a private person, he flaunts everything he is proud of, never to rub off arrogantly but with a sincere smile and soft eyes. But only his family and group of close friends know that he's planning to propose to Sora once she returns, that he has already bought the ring that sits hidden in his apartment closet.

After work, he decides to visit the Game Parlour where he can't be dimed as a regular but he definitely visits it often. Mingyu had a knack for gaming since childhood, he was a pro gamer during his university days often being called to participate in the championships, winning many of them. Though he would have loved a career in the gaming industry but that teenage boy wasn't courageous enough to take the risk.

The first thing he seeks after logging into his gaming account is for a specific Id. As soon as he sees the green dot beside he puts on his headphone and pings in the chatbox.

phoenix_726 is another gamer whom no matter what Mingyu is never able to beat nowadays. He always bags the second position and when they team up, it's a given no other can be the winner.

Mingyu often throws banter to the gamer, to whom he assumes is another closely aged man from the voice he has heard while gaming. They stay anonymous to each other and share bits and frustrations of life. No one else knows but Mingyu has another friend in form him, whom he ocassionally confides in, there's an sense of goodfaith. Having a great sense of humour and gaming skills, he definitely helps Mingyu shake off his worries and have a good time. So Mingyu casually slips that he's gonna propose to his long time girlfriend soon and invites him to the wedding already. All giddy, he says he can't wait for the day to come.

Mingyu is a crying mess when that day finally comes. He's inconsolable. He feels like his world has collapsed. Not only did Sora slap a rejection to his proposal, she also had admitted to emotional cheating on him before leaving. Another batch of fresh tears stream down his cheeks when he remembers her words from before.

"I'm sorry Gyu, I can't do this anymore.", Sora says urging him to be off his knees, closing off the ring box, "I don't love you anymore, I've outgrown you."

Mingyu stands frozen. He can't believe his ears, none of the people present believe what they're hearing.

"I had gone back home to take a break from everything, to sort out my feelings. Your presence was overwhelming, it was suffocating me.", she says tearily, "And I realised a lot of things. The reason I kept delaying my return is because I was preparing myself to tell you the truth."

Mingyu snaps out and quickly grabs her hands, "I'm sorry. Please give me another chance, I'll be better.", he swears in tears, "I'd not bother you much, let's start afresh, I'm willing to do everything you want me to.", he begs, "Please, just don't leave me. I love you, I can't live without you."

Sora's sobs echo throughout the venue, "I can't, I have developed feelings for someone else. So please let's end it."

That served as the last nail in the coffin. Mingyu stands straight looking at her and says in hollow voice, "Go. Empty the apartment before I get back. And never show yourself again."

"Come on buddy, let's go my to place.", says Jeonghan, trying to get Mingyu up but failing nonetheless, "What are you doing? Come help me.", he side-eyes and hisses at Soonyoung.

The said man quickly scrumbles on his feet and they both manage to take him to the car.

"Seokmin & Hansol have gone to drop uncle, aunt & Minhee. And now we'll head to my place not Jeonghan's.", Junhui says as he waits in the driver seat patiently for the other three to settle in, ignoring the protests from Jeonghan.

Mingyu takes a whole week off, which is something he has never done before. He also hasn't got his heart crushed before so....

The guys regularly check upon him, dropping by casually. There are some calls from his family and they always keep it short. Everyone hopes for him to be okay but the pain in his chest never subdues. The whole apartment reeks of Sora. The memories flash before his eyes and he hates that he wants them back, wants to go back to the time when they were happy, when there was only love and bliss. He checks his phone every now and then in hopes of getting a text or call from Sora saying it was a mistake and she wants him back but that never happens.

Mingyu thinks he might die from this heartache.

But he tries, tries his best to go on with his life. People notice the change in his demeanor but they don't pry because of the respect they have for him.

Seokmin, one of his closest friends and also colleague visits his cabin to check upon him.

"You don't have to babysit me, Min.", Mingyu sighs as he looks at the chocolate box, his friend places on his table.

"I'm not, Min. But you don't exactly look good currently and I'm afraid more people will come for me now that my rival is lacking.", Seokmin dictates dramatically.

Mingyu laughs, "Yeah sure. The throne is all yours. Don't you have work?"

To that Seokmin instantly deflates, "I'm knees deep in work.", and looks at him with expectant eyes, "We're gonna crash at Jeonghan's tonight."

"Oh, does he know that we're gonna crash at his place for the whole weekend?", Mingyu snorts already knowing the answer.

"Why does he have to know?", Seokmin says, "We're just gonna barge at his place, that guy's bitchless so that shouldn't be a problem--"

Seokmin bites his tongue but it's already late.

"So am I", Mingyu tries to joke smiling sadly and looks at him, "You don't need to feel bad, I'm getting used to it."

The second betrayal comes to him in succession and rather quickly after a month and half later, when in the year-end evaluation it was announced that it's not him but Kim Hanjun, the relative of someone who works in a higher slash powerful position, gets promoted as the Head of Brand Marketing. His hardwork and dedication gets defeated against connections.

Since that day, Mingyu is a changed person within the work space. Once a bubbly personality now is nothing but aloof employee who comes to office and is off his desk as soon as the work hours are over. He doesn't indulge in conversations or attend adhoc works. He already has a resignation letter drafted and saved in his laptop.

Kim Mingyu wishes nothing but misery for the people who have wronged him. He wants nothing but healing for himself.

Your trained gaze alone is enough to send the person lining infront of you six feet under.

"I gave you a whole month to come up with the concept of character design and you bring this to the table.", your tone is dangerously low, "Am I supposed to show this to the Design Director?"

The girl is sweating, as she manages to speak, "I-I'm sorry, I'll get back to you with new inputs."

"How long?", you ask.

"A week. I'll make sure to complete it in a week.", she says with scared eyes.

You sigh, taking your glasses off, "We have a deadline, keep that in mind. You can reach out to Kwon Soonyoung of Art and Naration Department for guidance. Don't bother him much, he's a busy man."

Before she leaves, you add, "Mail me the initial drafts and also coordinate with Dowon, the main characters should complement each other in the terms of their appearance, weapons etc."

Your walking out of the cabin, silences the whole office. As you pass by, all people do is bow to you, they never dare to look at you, nor do they dare to strike a conversation.

Neither are you interested in indulging in any kind of talks with these people who are plain gossipers and can only think of judging people by materialistic bases.

'Ice Princess', that's the cliche nickname you've acquired, which still confuses you but you could care less. All you could care about is work and getting it done.

The day continues and it's during the lunch hour that you get a call from your uncle. And you'd have never imagined, this meet-up would lead him to say something so bizarre, something that would change your life.

"You're getting married.", he says, with all seriousness making your stomach churn.

And before you could open your mouth, he continues, "Trust me this once. You know I would never compromise your happiness with anything less."

Next day, you suddenly find yourself sitting in front of the guy you're supposed to marry.

It's strange and beyond awkward, with neither of you clearly having no idea of what to talk about, where to start and above all how did it come down to something like this.

"Did my uncle threaten you to marry me?", you stay poised, voice stone cold, eyes looking out through the window glass.

Mingyu almost chokes on air but he's quick to regain composure, "Well hello to you too and no, he didn't."

"Then why did you agree on marrying a stranger? I'm sure you don't even know me."

Mingyu sighs, "You should know that your uncle is one of the Senior Executives in the company I work for and I respect him a lot. When he came to me with the proposal, I was taken aback but you sure are beautiful and independent and I have been also meaning to settle down so I couldn't find myself refusing it."

You scoff, "Do you know what you're getting into? I'm not easy to handle, I'm more than capable of making you rip out your hairs."

You continue further, "I don't treat the concept of marriage as some sort of joke or treaty where two involved parties would make a deal or whatever. Uncle has been nagging since forever asking me to get married but I have been pushing it back because...", your voice drops and gaze wavers, "Nevermind. I'm not doing it."

Mingyu gasps at your words before gruffing out, "No please, give me a chance. Look, I have been in a rough patch for past months. I want this marriage to happen just not to bridge connections or to push through any other motives, I want to start afresh."

You squint your eyes at him, "Doesn't sound sincere at all. But I trust uncle and he must have a solid reason if he chose you and you're good looking so it's a bonus. Hence, I'm willing to give it a chance."

You get up from your seat and walk up to him, one hand on the table, other on the armrest of his chair. Hovering over you say, "Kim Mingyu, I have already warned you, if I find any discrepancy after getting married, you'll be a dead meat. I can tolerate anything but betrayal."

Mingyu instantly breaks in cold sweat.

"You're gonna do what?", Minhee asks, in case she has heard it all wrong from her brother.

Mingyu sweeps his gaze across the faces of his parents, his sister and all his friends. They all echo the same expression, they all are utterly dumbfounded.

"I'm getting married", he repeats again, "to Lee Y/N."

"And who's that?", asks his father.

"What do you mean by getting married so suddenly?", this time his mother raises her voice, "Aren't you still silently moping over that girl?"

Silence falls upon the room, until Soonyoong's loud gasp erupts through the room.

That's not something abnormal for Soonyoung to do but Mingyu exactly gets the reason behind it and gestures him to keep his mouth shut.

"Do you know her--", Jeonghan gets cut off.

"Do you have a pic of--", Hansol gets cut off.

"Did you even meet her--", Junhui gets cut off.

"Does Y/N even knows that you're marrying her?", Soonyoung is the one who gets to finish his question.

Mingyu heaves a breath after getting bombarded with non stop questions. His head spins and he hasn't even started yet.

Seokmin is unusually quiet. There's seriousness ghosting him which is rare. Once Mingyu goes out to send off his family, it's Seokmin who tells the others about the whole situation because apart from Mingyu and your uncle, he's the only one who has the grasp of the situation to the fullest.

When Mingyu returns he sees a bunch of disappointed faces except one. Soonyoung is eyeing him with uncertainty, something one could mistake as remotely scare.

"I think Soonyoung needs a breather.", Junhui says, "Because he works with Y/N, not directly but he knows her well enough."

The said man throws a very curious gaze at Mingyu saying, "Nothing is making sense to me. You two are polar opposites, Gyu. And not the kinds that fit in the criteria of opposite attracts."

"I don't support it.", Jeonghan retorts, "This is wrong. If this ever gets out, you're so gonna regret it."

"I have made up my mind.", Mingyu tells him with all certainty, "This wedding is going to happen and I'm not letting anything get in the way to my happiness anymore."

And that's how the preparations of the wedding starts.

You and your uncle meet Mingyu and his family. Though you had expected it to be another one of the awkward meetings but it turns out rather pleasing. His family is welcoming, especially his younger sister, Minhee. While everyone inside discusses the date of engagement and wedding, Mingyu slips you out of the conversation.

You both take a stroll in the neighborhood.

"How was it, meeting them?", Mingyu asks.

You walk straight, not meeting his gaze, "I like them, they have an amiable aura surrounding them.", you suddenly halt and look at him, making him halt as well, "But not you."

Mingyu creases his brows, "You'll come to like me, that's me, I'm lovable."

You scoff, crossing over your hands, "We'll see about it."

The engagement date is set to a month later, followed by the wedding.

You gradually sink back into work and it's a relief that you don't hear from Mingyu but that's cut short when you receive a text from him a week later.

So that's how you landed in your soon to be fiancé's apartment. You sit quietly, gaze constantly sweeping back and forth on the new faces.

Mingyu takes a seat beside you and starts introducing his friends. The text Mingyu had sent primarily stated something along his friends wanting to meet you, which you had bluntly rejected. But when he called you immediately after, saying that they're his extended family and it's important for you and them to get along because it's them you're gonna have to deal with more than his own family, you scolded him for good five minutes for blocking your time during workhours before agreeing on a meet-up.

So far, you've learned that they all belong to almost same age group. Seokmin is a childhood friend who works in the same company as Mingyu, practically indicating that the two are inseparable. The rest are his friends from university days, some he acquired while playing tournaments, others from being a regular at the same game parlour etc.

Jeonghan is a lawyer and eldest among all. Junhui is a dentist and you're immediately setting an appointment with him. Hansol is a photographer who tells that he's gonna manage all the shoots starting from the engagement to the wedding.

And the last one is a very familiar face. You would rather introduce him well to the others because he works with you. And that's the reason he's seated stiff throughout.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?", you ask Soonyoung.

Yes, Soonyoung wants to say this but rather he settles with it a subtle shake of head. He breathes a silent sigh of relief when he feels your gaze off him.

"I guess Soonyoung has already made all of you aware of my reputation. But that's how I am at work.", you say smiling wide.

The rest all relax and exchange smiles before going stiff again when you add, "I'm exactly the same off work as well."

Mingyu nudges your elbow but you don't bother to look at him.

"Stop scaring them.", he says in a hushed voice and you quip back immediately.

"I'm just letting them know that I may not be the perfect sister-in-law they want or picturing me to be. When expectations are less, people on both ends won't get hurt."

The atmosphere turns rigid, the room turns silent.

"What about your parents, Y/N? Do you have any siblings--", Mingyu is late to hush Junhui's failed attempt to wave off the tension. Jeonghan is about to knock his friend's head when he remembers that Junhui was absent the last time when this topic was brought up.

"I'm sorry, Y/N.", Mingyu is quick to aplogize.

You look at a very confused Junhui and tell him, "My uncle is my only family. Sixteen years ago, I lost my parents, aunt and my cousin in a car accident. Since then it's me and uncle. We do have some distant relatives but they're not in touch. Hope this resolves your query."

Checking your watch, you get up, "I'll get going."

"So soon? Please stay till dinner", Seokmin requests, "We all have cooked for you."

Your eyes go wide for a brief moment, as you accidentally speak out your mind, "No one has ever made an effort to cook for me except my uncle."

And before you could slip out, you're almost being dragged into the dinning space. There's no denying that you haven't had this good food recently. And though you say that you've no shame but you don't meet anyone's eyes when you tell them to pack some of the leftovers for you.

You sit silently, watching the crowd, observing the people. You have just been engaged to Mingyu and though it was meant to be a private ceremony, you realised how you quantify it might be completely different from your fiancé.

The only person from your side who's attending is your uncle and it'll be the same in the wedding and all other ceremonies as well. But as you have counted there are a total of thirty people who can be deemed close by Mingyu and are attending the engagement ceremony.

And you can see that it's not a bluff. Everyone is smiling wide, dancing and singing to their hearts will. What made your heart swell once again is that you can sense how each one of them congratulated you both with goodwill and sincerity.

The corner of your lips are twitching to stretch in a smile as you watch your would-be father-in-law being successful in dragging your uncle to the dance floor. It's been long since you've seen him laugh heartily, enjoy wholly.

You wonder if that's what having a family feels like. To be always surrounded by the people you love, who loves you unconditionally. To always have someone to lean onto. The trauma has led you to suppress the memories but you do remember vaguely something similar, a familiar backdrop, smiling faces and warmth.

Your heart suddenly constricts within your chest and you find yourself in the balcony catching breaths. Staring into the abyss of darkness, you don't notice the tears those stream down your face.

"Found ya.", you hear your now fiancé's voice and as he situates beside you. You try to discreetly wipe away the tears but Mingyu sees it.

He doesn't evade your space though, he just stands beside you, speaking nothing which is unlikely but you get what he's conveying and you're thankful to him.

The pre-wedding shoot is a headache, you think. You should be working on finalizing the designs and launch dates of the game but rather you're here at a beach, all dolled up and in a beautiful dress, hues matching to the shirt Mingyu's wearing.

You hate how warm the weather is. You hate how calming the sounds of sea waves are. You hate how soothing the gentle breeze is. You hate how beautiful Mingyu is looking just donning a polo shirt and chinos.

"You're staring a little too hard."

You get startled and crane your neck to see Hansol now changing some settings in his camera with a teasing smile on his lips.

Clearing your throat, you ask, "How long would it take?"

"For how long do you want it to go on?", Hansol enquires back and you want to duck his water underwater for acting smart with you.

A lot of things happen during the shoot. The remarkable ones are you being too shy to hold an eye contact with Mingyu for which you knew you're gonna get teased. Mingyu being scared off by some bugs, shouting, cowering behind you which settles the score, neither of you are getting teased by the other. You are almost whacking Hansol every time he takes a little too long to click the shots when you both are posing, smiling ear to ear, arms linked or hugging each other.

"I'll kill your friend.", you say through gritted teeth while smiling.

Mingyu controls his laugh as his eyes turn into slits, "Be my guest."

Hansol suggests a shot where Mingyu is standing in the water as waves graze his feet while he's cradle carrying you in his arms.

"We're done for now!", Hansol shouts, "Let's get going to the next location."

You immediately link your arms strongly around his neck when Mingyu tries to settle you down.

"My legs are aching.", you say resting your face on his shoulder, so that he doesn't get to see your face.

Mingyu squints his eyes, saying teasingly, "I thought you didn't like me?"

"Correct. I don't like you", you tell him, "I'm tired. Plus what's the use of those muscles if you can't carry me?"

Mingyu doesn't reply rather he sprints towards the rest of the people making you scream for you life as you hold him tighter.

The whole team cheers and shouts and Hansol does what he does best, takes thousands shots of you both throughout.

You open your eyes to hushed murmurs and coos only to find all eyes on you as you wake up nestled in Mingyu's chest as he's still sleeping unaware of the disastrous, as you would state, state you both are in. Your gentle push wakes him up and they inform that they're at Mingyu's address and he drops off by asking Hansol to take you home safely.

"He's good guy, Y/N.", Hansol says as the van heads towards your location, "Not saying because I'm his friend but genuinely, he's keeper."

You just give a subtle nod, choosing not to say anything.

You hate your personal space being evaded but for some reasons it's tolerable as you watch your would-be mother-in-law cooking in the kitchen of your apartment while Minhee aids her.

You stand quietly by the counter, eyes quizzically moving along with the movements of the two people present along with you.

"I have cooked enough for you to last a week.", Mingyu's mother tells you, "Stop eating those instant, frozen, junk food.", she says unimpressed as she clears out the cupboards.

"Don't tell him that I said this but my brother's a great cook, have him cook for you both everyday.", Minhee telltales.

The three of you have chat where they're the ones mainly speaking and you become an ardent listener. It feels nice, you think, to have people care for you, to evade your space when you say you hate it but actually want them to have around you.

That night when they try to head off back to home, you don't let them go, rather you insist them to stay the night and they do stay back. It's not another usual lonely night at your apartment.

Your uncle gifts you both a new apartment, ignoring your protests. He insists, you both need to start afresh, on the right foot. Jokes about your own apartments to be cool off place to crash in if you both have fights.

"Why do I have to be here?", you ask sitting unfazed along with Mingyu's friends (yours as well but you won't admit yet).

Mingyu whines, "Who else would finalize on my wedding suit? They're of no use", he points at his friends who jokingly throw hurls at him, "And I don't trust her choice.", he says pointing at his sister who's too used to his antics to be bothered.

"Such a baby", you roll your eyes, "I have a meeting at 5. Be quick."

Oh you did well in muffling the gasps every time the curtains raised and Mingyu appeared in trying the attire.

Let me buy them all, is what you wanted to say. But sadly, you had to settle for one. But Mingyu doesn't get the privilege to choose your wedding gown.

He sees you walking down the aisle along with your uncle. Mesmerizing would be an understatement he's beyond that. He is nervous and shows. You're nervous as well but as always you're a master in hiding it. The vows are exchanged and as the crowd chants, your lips meet for a brief moment.

Your uncle starts off with teary speech, making you and almost all others cry silently. You walk up to him hugging tight because he has the only constant throughout your life, raising you as his own child, to be present and cheering on you on every important event of your life.

Mingyu has a long list of people lining up for giving speeches for him but what surprises you is even though they share tales about him, they include you in bits and your heart feels at ease thinking about how you might have found a family and people you can call them as your own. Which also leads Soonyoung to get too comfortable, almost getting an earful from you in front of the guests if Mingyu didn't intervene for daring to challenge you for a gaming match with all cockiness. Man lives as if he has nine lives.

You meet his colleagues and he gets to meets yours as well. Mingyu wonders, he has been wondering for as long as he has known you that where did you seek solace on hard days. How come you had no friends, not even one. Or maybe you had, but somehow you've lost touch. He can only speculate.

The first week for the newlyweds goes by settling into the new space. Everything sets in fine and you both divide the duties. Mingyu would be in charge of cooking, you'd do the groceries and he'd join in too obviously. You'd both would be aware of the each other's whereabouts and respect the spaces.

"I'm fine with everything and I want to make this marriage work.", Mingyu's tone changes to a defensive one, "Also, please never go to my office room, no matter what.", he says pointing towards the same, "It's a request and I hope you'd respect it."

You nod understandingly, you're also not a big fan of people messing or evading into your workspace so you agree.

Mingyu has gotten used to it but not the others so when his friends gather at your home one night to catch up they're gurgling out the drinks they're having when you hear you speak.

You call Mingyu, Husband.

"Husband!", you call him seated on the couch. Ignoring the turning of heads, as soon Mingyu comes in your sight, you say, "I have ordered the takeout, none of you needs to spend time in kitchen, rather spend time with each other."

Everyone smiles wide. The rest throw a knowing glance at Mingyu. You take it as a cue to give them space and get up to leave the room.

"I'll take a walk outside. Have fun catching up.", you say stoicly, already beelining towards the passage, "Will be back once the food arrives."

"You're one of us, Y/N. We don't need any space but if you do, then please go ahead..", Jeonghan says making you stop in tracks.

You turn back and sweep gaze among the faces, specially your husband's for any disagreement and when you find his pleading eyes, you see yourself beelining back to your seat.

Work's hectic as ever and you both try to adopt into the change of lifestyle. But what's not happening is work - life balance. With the new gaming launch event nearing, you are expected to stay in the office till late. It's nothing new but something is actually new.

And that's Kim Mingyu. You're still getting used to receiving texts asking about your expected time of return, extending the offer to pick you up if needed. It's also nice to have food served on the table when you reach home.

It's warm when you sleep into the sheets quietly but your husband somehow finds you, holding you in his arms albeit of his sleepy state.

"Why are you hugging me?", you ask with your voice muffled against his chest one morning.

Mingyu has just stirred from his slumber when your voice reaches him. He gets to look at the top of your head and cranes his neck to see the tangled limbs.

"You were spooning me as soon as I got into the bed.", you further add.

His eyes widen, as he tries to untangle himself mumbling apologies, "I'm sorry. I have a habit of clinging while sleeping. I'll try to be careful from today onwards."

And he misses to notice that one of his hands circling your waist is now in your grip, "Who told you to retract?", you down your head further into his so he doesn't get to see even an inch of your face, "I was just asking."

Mingyu goes silent. He's not in love with you and he knows neither are you. But moments like this make him realise something.

He reminiscences another fairly recent memory.

"There's something bothering me.", you come into his view as he pauses the movie he was watching.

Your eyes don't meet his, "I have noticed how your parents deflate whenever I call them uncle and aunt."

Mingyu listens, unsure of where this monologue is going.

You now turn to the front facing the television, your back facing him as your voice toning down as you continue, "I know being their only daughter-in-law they have some expectations. But I'm not good at coining terms, especially the terms like mother and father since I haven't... When I haven't--", you pause sucking in a sharp breath.

Mingyu gets up and turns you to face him, "You don't have to try so hard. Be easy on yourself. There's plenty of time and my parents do understand where you're coming from. And trust they're not disappointed or anything."

And he proceeds to do the most assuring thing, he knows of. He softly pecks your forehead.

Your eyes widen and you grab his arms gaping at him.

"Do it again.", you blurt out and though he smiles a grim realisation gnaws on Mingyu.

Many of the basic acts of proximity and affection, you're experiencing them for the very first time, hence it always comes to you as a surprise. Mingyu's heart constricts in the chest because as a person who has been surrounded by love and people, he can't fathom how you have managed to live on your own, in your lone company.

You're six months into the marriage and things have changed. Changed for good, you think.

You think being in the office and being at home are not the same anymore, it does make a difference. It's not bad, having someone checking upon you. It's not all bad having someone cooking for you. It's absolutely amazing to hear someone rant out, eating your ears off about work and whatnot and not expecting any words of comfort in return.

That someone being your husband. You think your husband is bearable, maybe a little more than bearable.

Mingyu sits still with the phone in his hand as his eyes trace over the photo repeatedly. There's an ache in his heart, he can feel his chest tighten. There are tears pooling in the corner of his eyes, throat closing up suffocating him.

During the lunch break, just to kill some time Mingyu decided to scroll through his abandoned social media account, the ones he hasn't bothered to check since the breakup. And he it turned out to be a mistake as the first picture that popped up on his feed was of the one Sora posted flaunting her new man.

And as he clicks on her account, it breaks his heart to see all of the photos they've posted together or if them clicked together were gone. As if it never happened, as if none of that were true whereas his account is still all about her and their memories.

"It's time for you to delete those pics as well."

He hears Seokmin's say.

"Are you seriously wasting your energy on her?", Seokmin takes a seat beside him, "When you're married and have a such a wonderful wife waiting for you at home?"

Mingyu gives melancholic smile, "Home? Sora was my home, Min. It was supposed to be her waiting for me at the end of day."

"You're sounding like a loser. And I might throw hands at you for uttering nonsense.", Seokmin gets up abruptly making the chair screech, "Don't ruin your present by living in the past."

Dealing with you is not easy and Mingyu had decided to marry you knowing all ifs and buts. At the start it felt more like living with an uncooperative roommate. Then, as days passed he became aware of your habits. Nowadays he thinks you've become habituated to him and it's a good sign but what tires him out is it's only him who's trying.

"I got promoted, Y/N!", Mingyu says all excitedly as soon as you're back from work and into his sight.

"Oh, congratulations.", you say plainly.

He waits with expectant eyes for you to say more but you don't. You don't pat him, neither do you smile. You just simply saunter towards the shared bedroom to freshen up. Eyes turned dull, heart heavy, dejected Mingyu goes to bed empty stomach, his appetite now gone.

You're still cold, to the extent that it's freezing a strain on the relationship. You don't open up, you never appreciate his efforts openly, neither are you interested in his matters. All that matters to you is work.

"Mom was asking if we could visit them anytime soon. As you know their wedding anniversary is approaching and I was thinking if we could spend some days with them around that time?", Mingyu asks you on a call one day when you had to work at office on a weekend because of some changes in timeline.

"You can go.", you tell him, "I don't think I would be able to attend the anniversary party."

"Could you please try? It would mean a lot--"

"Mingyu, you know I can't. I'm sorry.", you say hanging up.

Mingyu doubts if he'll ever love again, he doubts if he'll ever love you. And being a person who wears his heart on his sleeves, he wants being vocal and receiving affirmations, you do neither. Though he knows there are many things which you're experiencing as a first but that doesn't justify anything when he's trying, you should try as well. He contemplates every night if made a mistake by marrying you, if he was too much consumed by greed.

The company's hosting a dinner and everyone's expected to bring a plus one. Some take the opportunity to introduce their partners to their colleagues, for others it's free dinner and socializing. For the past years Mingyu attended the event just to flaunt his partner, Sora and make her aware how much he's looked upon at his workplace. He liked the way people worshipped them, deemed them as the perfect couple, he lived for the vibe of it.

But this year though there's a lot of anticipation about him bringing his wife, Mingyu attends the party alone. He hadn't informed you about the party, simply because he doesn't want you to be here. He's still disappointed at you, plus he knows you wouldn't even care to come even if he asked so to save his dignity from another rejection he decides not to inform you. And if your uncle asks, he'd make some excuse.

The dinner party swings on and it's kinda mundane for Mingyu with Seokmin also not attending because he's out of town until he hears everyone applauding. His gaze follows the crowd when he sees your uncle entering.

And he instantly freezes on the spot when he sees you walking behind.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

[dronningreid]

Between the bitter reality and a sweet ending.

After Reid's visit to his mother and his conversation with Cat Adams, you notice how what seemed to be the best news of their lives receives a reality check.

Between letters: Part 1 (it is not necessary read the first part to understand this, but I recommend it)

who? Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

category: angst/fluff

warnings: pregnant reader, reid is again pessimistic, overthinking (poor thing) and isolates himself, mentions of alzheimer's and schizophrenia, mention of cat adams 💀 english is not my first language and this is a two-part story.

word count: 2.1K

a/n: Thanks to everyone who gave so much love to the first part of this, it really made my horrible days more beautiful. Well, I made this somewhat based on entropy (11x11) and christmas (it's soon!) because that episode always gave me a lot of that vibe. (Spoilers below) But I did this in particular because we talk enough about how Spencer would be the best dad in the UNIVERSE, but where is his fear that his children will have the mental illnesses that he so afraid of? we don't talk about that enough.

It is said that after the storm comes the calm. So what do you do when after the calm comes another storm? Much stronger, more devastating.

"Marry me." After kissing you he got on his knees.

You laughed nervously. "Nooo, yet."

He looked at you with those beautiful puppy eyes. "Please..." Reid leave a kiss on the back of your hand.

You caressed his cheek and he rubbed his face against your palm. "Happiness is what speaks. I don't want you proposing to me five minutes after finding out I'm pregnant with your baby."

"One hour?" You denied. "Two?" You denied again. "One day?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Get up, everyone is looking at us strangely." You insist.

He snort before obeying, he was a good boy. "Fine. But I'm still waiting for an answer, you have two options: yes or of course."

"I'm not going to marry you just because i'm pregnant." It hurt you to see his look of disappointment. "And of course I want to marry you, but not like that. I don't want you see this an obligation because it isn't."

"Men of the 19th century think differently." He did a small joke. "But this isn't an obligation for me, still I understand and I will wait... a year?"

"But I want a nice ring or I will say no." You decided to push his buttons a little.

He of course got your joke. "Anything for the mother of my baby." He gave you a kiss on the cheek.

∗⋅✧⋅∗

A couple of months passed, your belly was growing every day even though it still was small. Spencer was always there to praise and pamper you and his baby.

It was a heavenly, beautiful, perfect couple of months, proof that perfection can exist. But there is entropy, things break down, wear out and if they are ordered, sooner or later it return to their natural chaotic state.

You had only been without Spencer for a couple of days but you already missed him so badly, like you needed his presence to breathe easier. Sometimes you hated how much you needed him.

"I want to go with you."

He left his suitcase at the door just to go and leave a sweet kiss on your forehead. "I'm just going to check on my mum, it's better for you and the baby to stay here, safe."

Even when he was gone, you could still feel the sensation of his lips on your forehead. Like the ghost of a kiss...

When Spencer came back home there was something different on him. Something he wasn't telling you.

You were barely able to talk to him, as the team was very busy working on the strategy to end the network of online hitmen that threatened Garcia.

You were with Garcia when Reid came down the stairs, adjusting his tie.

You focus your attention on him. "I don't like you being the bait." Translation: I don't like you look so handsome for another woman, especially if she's a psychopath.

"I'm the closest in age." He explained again.

"I know, but that doesn't make me feel better." You helped him adjust his tie. "Especially if your alibi is wanting to pay to kill your pregnant wife."

He shifted his eyes to the small lump on your belly. "Is this some kind of revenge for me not agreeing to marry you?" You joked.

That didn't go at all the way you wanted, because both of you gained Penelope's attention and he didn't laugh, not even a smile. He just brought his hand to your belly before placing a kiss.

"I don't like my alibi either, but the point is to irritate her." He sounded so terrifyingly serious. Something was definitely wrong and you couldn't rest easy until you figured out what it was.

"Spencer-"

"I have something!" Penelope said as she typed something into the computer.

Reid simply walked past you and paid attention to what Penelope had discovered.

You didn't even hear what your friend had discovered, it was like it was just background noise. Well, all your attention was revolving around a single unknown, there was only one thing you wanted to discover.

∗⋅✧⋅∗

You wish that after dismantling a network of hitmen things would be better, but that was all it was: just a wish.

Everything that happened at Harry & Glenn's Grill and Bar tested your ability to not die of a heart attack. First the bomb, then that Cat Adams pointing a gun at your boyfriend. Luckily the BAU won, but it didn't quite feel like a complete victory, at least not for Reid so it doesn't feel like victory for you either.

It didn't help that Spencer had a mysterious conversation with Cat after he arrested her. If he was already acting weird with everyone (especially you) this new variable did not help your situation.

But at least now you had hope that everything would get better, it was Christmas Eve dinner. Everything was supposed to get better, right?

"Do you think anyone will make turkey? The baby wants turkey."

Reid opened the car door for you. "JJ maybe. Penelope definitely not and Rossi might make his famous pasta."

∗⋅✧⋅∗

The car ride was unpleasantly quiet. Usually you'd enjoy the silence with Spencer, it used to be comfortable. But now, now it was fucking torture.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You sounded more aggressive than you intended. Bad idea, because he looked away from the road to look at you with a frown.

"Excuse me?" His harsh tone was like a punch. He didn't usually talk to you like that, never.

You laughed nervously, he of course doesn't. "Sorry." You looked at your hands in your lap. You couldn't stand his gaze, it burned.

And this is where he would ask what you meant, using a calmer tone of course. But that didn't happen, he just left you with a lump in your throat and a headache.

The ride continued in silence, a deathly silence.

At least when you got to the Rossi house, sorry, Rossi mansion you were able to relax a little with the girls. Although there was definitely still that little thorn that didn't leave you in peace and it was called: what the hell is wrong with Spencer Reid?

It was almost Christmas, you didn't want things with him to be like this, complicated.

After going down the stairs you returned to the dining room where the others were. "Hey guys, has anyone seen Spence?"

Everyone looked at each other, but only one knew the answer. "I saw him go to the back garden." Morgan said.

You just nodded before putting on your coat and walking outside. Immediately a light gust of cold wind brushed your cheek.

You saw him there standing in front of the pool, just thinking. Something common with him, always, but at least before he used to share that throughs with you.

You approached, putting a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "Morgan told me you were here."

"I just needed to get some air." He didn't even bother to look at you, because his gaze was lost in a place you couldn't reach.

Silence soon filled the air between you two, turning what was once warm into something frigid. You meditated on what would be the best thing to say, you searched for magic words that would make him speak. But there was nothing.

"I'm mad at you." That came out before you could stop the words.

At least this time you had his attention, but it hurt to see how his eyes betrayed the pain that his mouth could not express. Still he remained silent, waiting for you to say something more.

"I can forgive you, of course." You rushed to say something that would make the guilt in your chest go far away. "But it hurt how you first told a criminal what's happening with your mother. I guess that's what's been bothering you these days, but if there's anything else, Spencer, I need you to tell me."

He ran a hand over his face before sighing in frustration. "It's not like I told her because I wanted to." he said defensively.

"I know, I know or maybe you did because you needed to vent and tell someone. But I would have preferred that person to be me..." Your voice broke.

He was starting to feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Spencer immediately sought comfort in your hand and you didn't stop him.

"I hate it when you walk away and retreat into yourself, like you're the only person you can trust. And I say, I understand that you do that with others, but with me?" Every word that came out of your mouth began to weigh on his chest.

"I know I can trust you, but it's hard to just stop doing something I've been doing all my life." He brushed the back of your hand with his thumb.

You looked at his hand. "At least try..." You hated that that sounded like a plea. "Maybe if we share the load, it will be easier for you."

He nodded and took a deep breath, but it took him a few more minutes to speak again. "It's no secret that I'm afraid..." He took another deep breath and you gave his hand a gentle squeeze to encourage him to continue. "I'm afraid I might have schizophrenia like my mother, and when I turned thirty I thought I'd dodged a bullet. But now dementia and alzheimer's are on the list."

You stayed silent, waiting for him to continue telling you what had been hurting him lately.

"Anyway, if it's only about me I can live with that." It wasn't like that, it obviously affected him more than he wanted to admit. But then his gaze fell on your belly. "But I can't live with the idea that I've been selfish for so long...

You frowned. “Selfish?”

"Yes. Because I have wanted children for a long time without thinking that they could be like my mother or like me..." His voice broke. "And now it's too late, because I've already ruined everything, I've already got you pregnant and this baby could have schizophrenia, dementia, Alzheimer's or all three." Breathing began to become difficult. "And I feel like the worst father and boyfriend in the world, because it would only be my fault if the baby is like that and you would have to pay the price for my mistakes."

"Enough, enough." You placed your hands on either side of his face. "We don't even know if it will happen and even if it did, this is not your fault, Spencer."

He placed his hands on your wrists, holding you there. "And who is the blame?" That bad habit of always wanting to find someone to blame.

You forced yourself to shut your mouth, you didn't have an answer for that.

"I don't know..." The guilt in his eyes was hard to see. "I just know it's not your fault. And it's done, the baby could be like you, like your mother or like me and all those things are okay, because I know that I will love it no matter what and I know you'll love it too." You brushed his cheekbones with your thumbs.

"But I don't want the baby to hate me if it inherited some of that, its life will be difficult and I don't want that..." He whispered.

"The baby won't hate you for it and me neither." You gave him a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"You say that now." He swallowed. "But in a couple of years we may not have much time left and I won't be able to recognize you, the love of my life. I will not remember that I love you and then you will hate me." How could he say such beautiful words like the love of my life, I love you and still say the most devastating thing in the world?

"But that may not happen." You preferred to remain optimistic.

"But the odds-" Then you put a finger on his lips, you rarely wished he would shut up.

"I don't care about the odds, even if in a couple of years you don't know who I am, I will know who you are. And no mental illness in the world can ever change how much I love you." You continued to caress his cheek and that, combined with your words, made him feel calmer. "I will stay, until the end."

He immediately wrapped you tightly in his arms, burying his head in the crook of your neck. "I don't deserve you." He whispered against your skin.

You caressed his hair while your free hand caressed his back. "If you didn't, I wouldn't be here."

Only time would tell if Reid's fears would come true, but one thing was certain: He always have you by his side. That and the daughter you and him had together was enough for have his happy ending.

[enhaeil]

let me love you ! ☆ 이희승

Girl, let me love you, a heart of darkness, gets brought to life, i'll take you there.

let me love you - neyo

c/w: comfort? angst?

masterlist

☆

"y/n." you hear the voice of the man you love call out softly. "why do you keep running away from me, please."

you want to ignore him, you want to go in your room and lock yourself in there for an hour until you both just move on from the situation, but you can't. firstly, he has a monster grip on your hand. but those eyes. his eyes. they're pleading. they're watery. they're looking at you for any sign of vulnerability. "baby.."

"we had a good day, no? please tell me what went wrong." god, your heart shatters into a million pieces then and there. it's not him. it was never him.

you feel so guilty. you can barely look him in the eyes. you guys both stand there in your living room, yet it feels so empty. heeseung has been nothing but good to you, always. you don't know what's wrong.

"hee.." you try to say his name, but it instead comes out as a squeaky whisper. he hasn't let your hand go once this whole interaction. he looks at your, teary eyes anticipating what you're going to say.

he grabs your other hand, pulling you slightly closer. "whatever it is, i'll fix it, i'll do anything for you. please.."

those words were like a pin to a balloon. you bust out a sob right there in the living room. you turn away, trying to hide your face, as if he didn't already see you. "y/n" he calls out again, barely above a whisper.

"it's not you heeseung, it's me, it's always me." heeseung's face immediately frowns. he hates to see the girl he's been so in love with since day one, sob in front him.

"no, no baby, it's never you." lie you think.

all you could do was sob harder. how could he still be so kind to you after the mess you put him through? "heeseung, please be honest with me. i'm sitting in front of you crying for the umpteenth time because, why? you know more than me."

heeseung's mouth opens and closes as if he doesn't know what to say. you sniffle, finally looking into his eyes. even now, they're filled with so much love and adoration.

"don't you know i'm in love with you?" you let out the biggest breath you didn't even know you were holding in. you knew this. he's told you many times before. so what's the problem?

"I wouldn't have put this ring on your finger if i wasn't," he says, locking your fingers together. "i'm serious about you, y/n."

you shakily sigh, taking his words into consideration. your heart feels heavy. your head feels heavier. "are you scared?"

you slowly look back up at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. "maybe."

"me too." heeseung shoots you sympathetic half-smile, before reaching for your waist to pull you close to him, but keeping enough distance for rejection.

you furrow your eyebrows. heeseung? the man who was your best friend for months before he even pursued you? the one who was just on one knee proposing months ago? the one who, even when you make love, touches you as if you'll break and leave him at any moment? scared?

you allow him to hold you, his scent taking over your senses. "what're you scared of?"

"not loving you right."

"but if you let me, i'll die trying."

[hiitsm]

The Weight of a Promise: The Second Vow

The Weight of a Promise is for 18+ only.

Angst, Hurt

-

You sit at the table, the takeout containers now a stark contrast to the atmosphere that was supposed to be filled with joy and togetherness. Your engagement ring glints painfully in the dim light, its presence a constant reminder of what was just torn away from you.

The numbness from Jenni’s sudden departure begins to give way to a tempest of emotions. Sadness, anger, confusion, and a deep-seated sense of betrayal. The more you think about her words, the more you question whether her decision was truly about needing to clear her head or if there was something deeper that she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, share with you.

Hours pass in a blur, the silence punctuated only by the occasional sob that escapes your lips. You keep glancing at the engagement ring on your finger, its brilliance now a cruel mockery of the promise it once symbolized. How could something that represented such deep love and commitment now feel so heavy and painful?

In the midst of your turmoil, your phone buzzes, startling you from your reverie. It’s a message from Alexia, a name that brings a flicker of comfort amidst the storm. She had been a close friend to both you and Jenni, a confidante who had witnessed the highs and lows of your relationship.

Alexia: 'Hey, I just saw Jenni’s post. Are you okay? I’m here if you need me.'

You hesitate for a moment, the sting of Jenni's departure still fresh. But Alexia’s genuine concern and your own need for support outweigh your reservations. With a heavy sigh, you reply.

You: 'Can you come over? I really need someone to talk to.'

Alexia’s response is swift.

Alexia: 'I’m on my way. Hang in there.'

When the doorbell rings, the sound is both a relief and a reminder of the painful reality you're facing. You slowly rise from the couch, your movements heavy with the weight of your emotions, and open the door to find Alexia standing there, her face etched with concern.

“Hey,” she says softly, stepping inside and pulling you into a comforting hug. Her embrace is warm, a stark contrast to the coldness that has enveloped you since Jenni left.

“Hey,” you reply, your voice breaking slightly as you step back to let her in. You lead her to the living room, where she takes in the scene. The untouched takeout, the candle flickering weakly, and your tear-streaked face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alexia asks gently, her eyes filled with a deep empathy.

You nod, feeling a lump form in your throat. “I don’t even know where to start,” you admit, sinking back onto the couch. “Jenni just… left. She’s going to Mexico, and she’s going alone. I don’t understand why she couldn’t wait, why she couldn’t let me be part of this journey with her.”

Alexia sits beside you, her hand reaching out to comfort you. “It’s okay to feel like this. It’s a lot to process,” she says, her voice steady and soothing.

“But why now?” you continue, your voice trembling. “Why did she make this decision without talking to me first? We were supposed to be building a life together. How could she just leave like this?”

Alexia takes a deep breath, clearly struggling to find the right words. “Sometimes, people make decisions based on what they feel they need at the moment. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right or easy, but it’s what they think is best for them.”

You look at her, the pain in your eyes evident. “I thought Jenni was different. I thought we were stronger than this.”

A sob breaks free from your chest, and you clutch at the engagement ring, as if trying to hold onto the last shreds of your shattered dreams. “She vowed to always face challenges together,” you choke out between sobs. “During her proposal, she promised we’d be a team, that we’d navigate everything side by side. And now… now she’s breaking that vow. She’s leaving, and it feels like she’s breaking me too.”

The tears flow freely, and you lean into Alexia’s comforting presence, your body shaking with the intensity of your emotions. “I thought we were building a future together. I thought we’d face everything as a team, but now it feels like she’s choosing to walk away from us, from everything we dreamed of.”

Alexia holds you tightly, her own eyes brimming with tears as she listens to your heartache. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, her voice choked with emotion. “I know it’s incredibly painful. And it’s okay to grieve the loss of what you thought your future would be.”

You bury your face in Alexia’s shoulder, the warmth of her embrace providing a small comfort amidst the storm of your emotions. “I don’t know how to move on from this,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “It feels like a piece of me is missing, and I don’t know how to find it again.”

Alexia’s hand strokes your hair soothingly. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Just take things one day at a time. Allow yourself to feel, to mourn, and to heal. And remember, you’re not alone in this. I’m here for you, and I’ll support you through every step.”

As you cry into her shoulder, Alexia’s words offer a glimmer of solace in the midst of your anguish. The pain is still raw, the hurt still fresh, but her presence provides a small measure of comfort as you navigate the difficult path ahead. For now, you cling to her support, finding strength in the fact that you don’t have to face this heartache alone.

-

Slow burn.

[atinyniki]

i ruined it...

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff if you squint

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, almost breakup, y/n doesnt think felix loves her, felix is referred to as lix, felix neglects y/n bc of his job, felix misses their two year anniversary dinner, felix has trouble breathing in the scene, felix cries a lot, proposals, promise rings, insecurities, felix has been broken up with a lot bc of this, y/ns fav flowers are peonies, fighting

authors note: i cried. i dont even know why this came to mind??? but it did !!! so enjoy the angst :P this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 2232

“i’m sorry”

“sorry isn’t going to cut it anymore, felix. you’ve said it so much i don’t think you mean it anymore.”, you bite back harshly.

you’re normally understanding of felix’s job. it regularly requires him to stay overtime and keeps him very busy, but he’s missed too many of your activities.

he missed ice skating, your birthday, at least ten dates, but now he’s missed your anniversary. two years that you’ve been together, yet it’s like you don’t even see the boy anymore.

“what…?”

“it’s always ‘sorry’. if you were really sorry, maybe you would’ve skipped dinner with the boys. you could’ve come home… to me…”, your voice falters at the last two words, cracking with raw emotion.

it’s not fair to you anymore, nor is it to him. he can’t leave group activities or basically anything work related, even when it’s an emergency. if no one’s in danger, then there’s no chance he can leave.

“don’t you ever want to see me…?”

his face contorts into an expression of disgust. not with you, but with himself. his tears finally drip over his lashline, eyes red and burning. the tears are continuous now, completely unable to stop.

“i do… i do want to see you… i miss you so much, y/n.”

you scoff, “don’t lie to me, felix.”

he opens his mouth to say something back, but only a squeak comes out. “do you still love me…?”

“i love you to the ends of the earth… i promise.”

“then why don’t you ever show it? i don’t even know if i believe you anymore.”

he clamps a hand over his mouth, not out of surprise, but to suppress his sobs. he continues hiccupping, but clutches his mouth harder, not wanting to make too much noise.

he tilts his head down slightly so you won’t be able to see the painful look on his face. he tries to pull through, knowing that your pain must be much worse than this.

the sight breaks your heart.

“take your hand off your mouth. you won’t be able to breathe”

he complies, quickly wiping his tears and taking long breaths. “please- please believe m-me. i really do love you. i’m so sorry.”

he says it again, and you look into his eyes. you can see the pain in there, causing your heart to crack even more. you know he’s dealing with a lot right now, but so are you.

and now you need space. time to think about yourself, and time to think about if this relationship is really worth it anymore.

“i swear, i mean it, y/n.”

“you’re the one ruining this. this isn’t fair at all, felix. i love you, but i don’t think you love me the same way i love you. you’re not making an effort in anything. i don’t know if this is going to work anymore if it stays like this.”

silence.

“i need space.”

“i can give you that.”

“i don’t think this relationship is good for either one of us right now. ill come back when im ready.”

he nods in understanding, but his eyes are blown wide. the second you leave the room, he starts sobbing again.

no, not sobbing. wailing.

there’s nothing else he can do. this truly might be the end of what he hoped would be forever. 

he hurt you. he hurt you and that hurts him. your pain is his pain, but he knows you have it worse. if anything, he deserves this pain. you’ve had to bear this pain for months.

it’s his fault, he knows it. everything’s falling apart because of him, like it always does. everything’s ruined. it will end like it always does. 

just felix, alone.

someone else will come along, and he’ll break them too. it’s happened time and time again, and he’s finally given up.

it’s you he wants to spend the rest of his life with. it has to be you. no one else has made him feel this way, not once.

what’s worse is that you’re truly considering breaking up. ending it all because of another stupid thing felix did.

and for this, he will never forgive himself.

he’s still crying, just as loud as before, but now snuggled up into the couch. it smells like you, he realizes. maybe that’s why he’s getting so emotional.

he plays with the promise ring on his finger, crying even more now. maybe he won’t need it anymore after this.

you start packing, taking a good amount of clothes and stuffing them in your suitcase. you’ll have enough space for everything, you’re sure.

you grab one of your favorite sweaters from the closet, it has an adorable baby chick embroidered onto it. you stare at it again, but then put it back. it reminds you too much of him. 

you make your way to the bathroom, placing your hand on the counter while you open the drawers to check for any jewelry, when you hear a clink.

you place your hand down on the marble again.

clink.

you look down at your ring finger, a singular tear leaving your eye. you remember when felix got down on one knee on your one year anniversary. it was too early for a proposal, so you freaked out, but he calmed you down and opened the box.

a promise ring. a simple band to symbolize eternity. an eternity you believed you’d spend with felix. you’re scared that eternity doesn’t exist anymore, as much as you want it to.

you don’t know if he cares. if he cares about what you have. if he cares about you. 

you remove the band from your finger, shaky hands placing it down onto the counter. you observe the thin tan line it’s made, has it truly been that long?

when did everything change…?

you look for the box that felix gave it to you in. you’ve never taken it off since you got it.

you check in your jewelry drawer, but it’s not there. so you check in his.

there it is. a navy blue box with gold accents on the edges. you smile sadly, crying a little more when you truly think about your circumstances.

you grab the ring from the countertop and flip open the box.

your heart stops.

it’s supposed to be empty.

why isn’t it empty?

there’s a gorgeous gold band on the inside, small peonies engraved into it. your favorite flower, you realize. additionally, there’s a perfect heart shaped diamond sitting on top, almost taunting you. 

the heart was meant to symbolize your love. the love you have for eachother. the love he has for you. but felix has never been able to show that properly, not while under his circumstances.

is this the surprise he mentioned the week before? is this why he told you to dress nicely to dinner? is this why he told you to do your nails all nice?

it had to be, right?

you close the box and hold it tightly in your hand, trying your best to suppress the tears that are trying desperately to escape.

but your heart controls you more than your mind.

its almost as if your heart actually has a mind of its own, bringing you to where you are now. standing in the living room, watching the sobs rack felix’s body, velvet box still in hand.

his body jerks with each hiccup, the noise completely muffled by his hand. it’s then you realize that it’s not muffled, he’s suffocating himself.

you place the box down onto the table, rushing over to felix. you grab his shoulder, pushing him over and sitting him upright. he jerks when you touch him, not expecting you to be anywhere near him.

once he truly processes the sight of you, he cries even more. you pry his hand off of his face again, you know it’s a bad habit.

“felix. you won’t be able to breathe when you do that.”

“im sorry. i didn’t w-want you to- to hear m-me”

“deep breaths.”

he inhales deeply, trying his best to follow your breathing patterns, but it fails every time, broken up into small hiccups. “i c-can’t.”

“calm down…”

you give him a small smile, almost to reassure him. he tries again, but it doesn’t work. he shuts his eyes, unable to take it all, and the tears just continue to spill.

“i- i can’t… i can’t breathe”

you rub circles onto his back, trying your best to do breathing exercises with him. you forget how truly sensitive he is. 

“i’m right here…”

“you’re r-right here.”

“mhm… i’m right here, felix.”

“you’re right here… w-why are you here?”

you tilt your head in confusion, wiping a single cascading tear away from his cheek. “i’m here to take care of you.”

“you- i… i don’t deserve it��”

“what?”

“i don’t deserve you. you can- you can leave. i’m not forcing you to stay…”

your heart is now barely holding on, and it feels like only a single thread is holding it together.

“i’m here because i want to help you, lix.”

“you don’t- no- you don’t need to help me… it’s my fault.”

you open your mouth to speak, but he cuts you off. 

“it’s my fault… i’m sorry.”

“felix…”

“you’ll leave…”

what’s going on with him?

“they all leave… n-not you too…”

“felix.”

“i don’t want you to leave… it’s all my fault.”

“felix, please, calm—“

“you’re going to leave…”

“i’m not going to leave.”

“i ruined it…”

it’s almost as if he’s stuck in the same state of mind, every part of the world being blocked out except for the terrible thoughts swirling around in there.

you cup his cheek with your hand, guiding his gaze towards you. one single look into your eyes, and he’s sobbing again. 

you place your left hand on his knee, you know how much he loves to feel you, but he only seems to cry more.

he tentatively brings a hand up to the one splayed out in his knee, and you watch him out of curiosity. he giggles, and you look back up.

he’s crying even more now, you don’t even know how that’s possible. he picks up your hand by your ring finger, staring at the tan line that your promise ring created. 

“i ruined it. how could i ever let you go…?”

he runs his thumb over it, and he quickly pulls your hand closer to his face. he places a soft kiss onto the line, just once, as to finally seal his fate.

it will never happen. he must accept it.

you don’t let go, instead intertwining your fingers. “i thought about it for a little. i really don’t want to leave you felix. i just… i didn’t know if you loved me anymore.”

“i do… i do love you.”

“i know that now.”

“you don’t know the full extent to which i do, y/n. i don’t just love you for what you have to offer. i love you for you. i love you for your smile, and i love you for waking up everyday. i love you for working hard, and i love you for your heart. i love you for things i can’t even see, and i love every part that makes you you. i love y/n. i love you. and i love you for being you.”

it feels as if the tears in your heart have finally been stitched up. every crack in your heart healed with his pure words. you know they came from the heart too. 

“i can’t guarantee i’ll be there for every event, and im sorry for that. ive tried to change that, but the rules are strict. even then, i wont give up. i’ll try my best to change them, i want to be the best boyfriend i can be. i dont want to rush dates because im running out of time, but instead because i cant wait to get home and finally cuddle with you without being in the public eye. i dont want to be late to any events just so that i can see that beautiful smile on your face when you see me there. i just want to make you happy, happier than you’ve been recently.”

“oh felix…”

he doesn’t say anything else, placing your hand back down on his knee and retracting his hand. that’s when his gaze flies to the table in front of him, the dark blue velvet box staring right at him.

he stands up, grabs it, and then kneels back down, on not one, but both knees. it looks almost as if he’s begging, but what you don’t realize, is that he truly is. he’s begging for your forgiveness, and he’s begging for another chance.

he has to make things right.

“y/n… i know i haven’t been the best boyfriend recently, not at all, but i want to make things right. you’ve brought so much light into my world, and i want to bring you that light too. i just need you to give me one last chance. one chance to make it right. i know it’s not the perfect proposal, but please, make me the happiest man in the world.”

he flicks open the box, displaying the band you last observed in the bathroom.

“i love you.”

“that’s not a yes or a no.”

“yes, i love you.”, you repeat.

you can’t control your heart anymore, and you take the chance to push felix down to kiss him. you know it’s not the ideal proposal, nor is it the ideal post-proposal kiss, but your answer would always be yes.

“it’s you, felix. it’s always been you.”

“y/n.”

“hm?”

“i promise, i’ll never let you go again.”

<3

[pdriesta]

CHAPTER TWO

“even when it’s bad, i love you”

pairing — trentxblack!girl

genre — angst, angst and more angst

word count — 8k

summary — y/n and trent's once strong relationship is strained by his growing distance and her unexpected pregnancy. as they clash over their future, y/n faces the painful choice of leaving or staying. will they overcome their struggles and rebuild their love, or will their fractured bond break beyond repair?

an — this is actually the saddest thing i've ever written 😭 let me know your thoughts!

masterlist

the week following their fight had dragged on painfully, the weight of their last argument hanging heavily over y/n’s every moment. the once lively house had turned cold, empty in a way that felt unbearable. her days were slow, marked by nausea and exhaustion that compounded her emotional turmoil. trent’s calls came daily, but each time her phone buzzed, she couldn’t bring herself to answer. the sound of his voice would be too much, too raw. she couldn’t face him, not after the things he’d said.

her body ached with fatigue, the pregnancy symptoms adding to the emotional toll. mornings were spent hugging the toilet, afternoons lying in bed, the familiar weight of loneliness pressing against her chest. she couldn’t shake the image of trent’s face during their fight, the words he had thrown at her still ringing in her ears. she had never felt so far from him, so distant from the man she loved.

today, the phone buzzed again. trent’s name flashed on the screen, and for the first time in days, she hesitated. her heart raced as she picked up the phone, pressing it to her ear with shaky hands.

"y/n?" his voice was soft, hesitant, like he feared she might hang up before he could finish. "i’ve been trying to reach you... i—i just need to know how you’re feeling. how, uh... how’s—"

his voice faltered, and she knew he was trying to avoid saying it. her chest tightened, the anger bubbling up inside her. “go ahead,” she snapped, cutting him off. “say it. it's a baby, trent. you can say it.”

there was a pause on the other end, a heavy silence before he finally spoke again, his voice low and strained. “i know... i’m sorry. i just—how far along are you?”

her voice was clipped, raw, when she finally spoke. "i’m eight weeks."

trent inhaled sharply, and she could almost hear the gears turning in his head, the pause stretching out as he processed her words. when he finally spoke, his voice wavered, caught somewhere between disbelief and realization. "eight weeks... that’s... that’s the same weekend i proposed, isn’t it? when we were on vacation..."

before he could finish, y/n cut him off, her voice sharp, a bitter edge to her tone. "yeah, you proposed and then got me pregnant with a baby you’re not even interested in keeping, right?"

trent’s breath caught, and she could hear the shock in his silence. he wasn’t ready for the anger, the bitterness in her tone. “y/n, i didn’t... i didn’t mean for it to come out like that. i’m sorry, i’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you.”

her eyes stung with unshed tears, the hurt threatening to spill over. “why so you can tell how i’m not ready again? it’s not just about talking, trent,” she said, her voice trembling. “you made me feel like our child—like i—was a mistake. you talked about options like you didn’t care. you acted like this baby wasn’t even real.”

“no, that’s not true,” trent interjected, his voice breaking with urgency. “i was overwhelmed, and i said things i didn’t mean. i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry. i want this, y/n. i want you. i want our baby. i know i messed up, but please, let me make this right.”

y/n’s heart twisted, the pain too raw, too fresh. “you can’t just take back what you said,” she snapped, her voice rising. “you can’t just say you want this now and expect everything to be okay. you made me feel like our child and i were something you could discard.”

trent’s voice cracked with emotion, and y/n could hear the strain in his words. “i know, and i hate myself for saying it. i hate that i made you feel like that. i wasn’t thinking straight, but i want to make it better. i want to be there for you and our baby. just tell me what i can do. please, y/n.”

the desperation in his voice cut through her anger, but it didn’t dull the hurt. “you can’t just fix this with an apology,” she said quietly, her voice thick with emotion. “i don’t know if i can trust you anymore. you wanted to end this, trent. how am i supposed to believe that you’ve changed you’re mind overnight?”

“i have changed my mind,” trent’s voice broke with the weight of his words. “i’ve been thinking about nothing else since that day. i’m begging you, y/n, please come back. come home. let me show you that i mean it, that i want to be there for you and for our child.”

y/n shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “it’s not that easy. you made me feel like a burden, like something you regretted. how am i supposed to just... forget that?”

trent’s breath hitched, his voice heavy with guilt. “i know i can’t take back what i said, but i can show you that i’m committed to you. to us. i’m scared too, but i want this, y/n. i want us.”

her heart wavered, the defenses she had built up over the past week beginning to crack. “i don’t know if i can believe you,” she whispered, her voice fragile. “i’m so scared, trent. i’m scared of losing you, and i’m scared of what this means for us.”

“you’re not going to lose me,” trent’s voice was firm, despite the emotion choking him. “i’m here, y/n. i’m not going anywhere. i want to be a father. i want to be the man you need me to be. please, come home. we’ll figure this out together.”

her heart twisted painfully at his words, the weight of her emotions pressing down on her. she wanted to believe him, wanted to feel the security she once had in their relationship, but the scars from their fight were still fresh.

“you really hurt me,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “i don’t know how to move past that.”

trent’s voice was quiet but filled with determination. “i know. and i’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. but i can’t do it if you’re not here with me. please, y/n, come home.”

her breath hitched, the emotion too much to hold back any longer. “i don’t know,” she said, her voice breaking. “i don’t know if i can.”

the line went quiet for a moment, the weight of their words hanging between them. finally, trent spoke, his voice soft, vulnerable. “i need you. i need our baby. please, don’t let this be the end.”

y/n pressed her hand against her belly, feeling the flutter of life growing inside her. the love she had for trent was still there, buried beneath the hurt, but it wasn’t enough to erase the pain. still, the thought of a future without him was unbearable.

“i’ll think about it,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “but i can’t promise anything.”

trent’s sigh of relief was audible, the weight of the conversation lifting, if only slightly. “that’s all i ask,” he said softly. “i’ll wait as long as it takes. i love you, y/n.”

with a shuddering breath, y/n ended the call. her body shook with sobs, the weight of everything overwhelming her. she looked down at her growing belly, a mixture of hope and fear swirling within her. the future was uncertain, but for now, she needed to heal, to find her way back to herself before she could decide what the next step would be.

the sky had darkened by the time trent arrived at y/n’s london home, heavy clouds gathering overhead like the tension that had been building between them for months. he stood at the door, shoulders hunched, his heart pounding against his ribcage as he rang the bell. the weight of what he was about to face made him feel sick.

y/n’s mother opened the door, her eyes filled with a somber understanding. “trent,” she greeted softly, stepping aside. “i am glad you came she needs you. she’s in the backyard. but listen, y/n’s been... different. her hormones are making things harder that expected. just be patient with her, okay?”

he nodded, the shame weighing heavily on his chest, every step toward the backyard feeling like walking deeper into the mess he'd made. his eyes found her sitting there, bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun, her shoulders slumped as their dog rested by her side. she hadn’t noticed him yet, and for a moment, he stood still, letting himself absorb the sight of her—really absorb it. two weeks without her had felt like a lifetime. she looked tired, worn in a way that hurt him more than he could say. her presence was so deeply ingrained in his life that without her, it was like trying to breathe with half his heart missing.

when she finally glanced up, her expression hit him harder than any of their fights. her eyes, once so warm and welcoming, held a cold distance, something he’d never seen from her. she stood slowly, brushing off her pants, the movement stiff, like the weight of everything between them was too much to bear. 

"you came," she muttered, her voice sharp and cutting through the silence. there was a bite to her words that stung him more than he’d expected.

trent swallowed, his throat tight as he took a step closer, though everything about her screamed that she wasn’t ready to let him in. her face was softer than he'd imagined, yet hardened by the lines of exhaustion and hurt. the sight of her, standing there, made the void in his chest ache even more. “i needed to talk to you. y/n, i—i’m so sorry.”

he couldn’t stop staring at her, couldn’t stop noticing how every detail of her had been seared into his life. the way her hair fell, the way she stood, even the way she avoided his gaze—it all felt like home, a home he wasn’t sure he deserved anymore.

her eyes narrowed, bitterness creeping into her tone. “sorry?” she echoed, her voice tight. “do you think that’s enough? after everything, ‘sorry’ is supposed to fix this?”

“no,” trent said quickly, his voice cracking. “i know it’s not enough. i’ve been... i’ve been distant, i know that. but i love you, y/n. you know that.”

her eyes blazed, and she took a step closer. “no,” she said, her voice firm, trembling with emotion. “i don’t know, trent. i don’t know if you love me. because if you did, you would’ve noticed that we’ve been falling apart.”

his heart clenched painfully. “i noticed,” he murmured. “of course i did. i just... i didn’t know how to fix it.”

“you didn’t even try,” she shot back, her voice rising. “the romance stopped, the touches stopped. we haven’t even been together, not really—not intimately, not emotionally. you come home, and it’s like i don’t even exist. weeks, trent. i waited weeks for you to let me in, to tell me what was going on. and you didn’t.”

he couldn’t meet her gaze, guilt clawing at him. “i know, y/n, i know. i’ve failed you. i’ve been so wrapped up in my own head, in everything, that i shut you out. but i want to change. i need to change.”

“you don’t get it,” she said, her voice breaking, eyes brimming with unshed tears. “i’ve felt like a stranger in my own home, trent. you stopped seeing me. and now, with this baby—this should’ve brought us closer, but all it did was push you further away.”

her words hit him like a tidal wave. “y/n, please,” he begged, stepping toward her. “i see you. i see you now. i know i’ve been a mess, but i swear, i’m here now. for you, for the baby. i’ll make it right.”

she shook her head, her tears spilling over. “how, trent? how can you make this right? you can’t take back what you said. you didn’t just hurt me—you made me feel like nothing. like we were nothing. you didn’t even want this baby.”

his breath caught in his throat. “that’s not true,” he whispered, desperate. “i was scared, i didn’t know how to deal with it. but i want this, y/n. i want you. i want our family.”

her expression twisted, a mix of pain and disbelief. “then why did you push me away? why did you never let me all the way in? why did you make this baby feel like a burden? like i was alone in this?”

he was at a loss for words. his chest tightened, and for the first time in a long time, he felt utterly powerless. “i’m so sorry,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “i thought i was protecting you. i didn’t want to drag you into everything I was feeling, but... i see now that all i did was hurt you.”

her sobs grew heavier, and she covered her face with her hands. “you hurt me so much, trent,” she whispered. “you shut me out for months, it’s like i can’t even recognize you.”

trent reached for her, but she stepped back, shaking her head. “don’t,” she choked out. “don’t touch me. i can’t... i can’t do this right now.”

the space between them felt insurmountable. “y/n,” trent whispered, tears welling in his own eyes. “please. i’m begging you, baby. i’ll do anything. just tell me what to do, and i’ll do it.”

her voice was barely audible, broken and raw. “i don’t know if there’s anything left to fix.”

y/n turned away already feeling the toll in her heart from the concvration setting in. it was too much; seeing him was a mistake. she had to go. trent stood there in stunned silence as y/n’s retreating form blurred through his unshed tears. everything inside him screamed to do something—anything—to stop her from walking away, from taking the last piece of his heart with her. his hands, trembling with desperation, shot out before he could stop himself, pulling her back into his arms.

“don’t say that,” he begged, his voice thick with emotion. “please, don’t give up on us.”

y/n’s body stiffened at first, but then, as if she’d been holding herself together for far too long, she melted against him. her resolve crumbled, her body sagging in his embrace, and for the first time in weeks, she let herself feel the weight of everything—the hurt, the exhaustion, the loneliness. she buried her face into his chest, sobbing quietly, her tears soaking through his shirt. they stood there, wrapped in a desperate embrace, both of them breaking and holding on at the same time.

trent’s arms tightened around her as if he was afraid that if he let go, she’d slip through his fingers, and this would all be over. “i love you, y/n,” he whispered, his voice cracking as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. “i love you so much. i’ve never stopped.”

the words tumbled out of him like a prayer, repeated over and over again, as if saying them enough times would make everything better. his lips brushed her ear, his breath shaky, “please, baby… please. don’t leave me.”

for a moment, it was as if time had stopped. they clung to each other, the world around them dissolving into the background. but even as they stood there, desperately seeking comfort in each other’s arms, the pain was still there—deep and raw, a wound that refused to heal.

y/n’s sobs quieted, and she slowly pulled away, just enough to look up at him. her tear-streaked face was a mixture of love and anguish, her eyes searching his, as if looking for a reason to believe that this could be fixed. but then, with trembling fingers, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the engagement ring. the sight of it in her palm shattered trent all over again.

“i can’t wear this,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “not now. not like this.”

trent’s heart twisted painfully, his throat constricting as he stared at the small, glinting band—the symbol of everything they had promised each other. his hands shook as he gently took the ring from her, the cold metal feeling heavy in his palm. he felt like he was losing a part of himself all over again.

“i’ll wait for you,” he said, his voice hoarse, barely above a whisper. “i’ll wait as long as it takes, y/n. i’m in love with you. i’m always going to be in love with you.”

he paused, his breath shaky as he searched for the right words, his heart pounding in his chest. “i’m in love with the girl who stayed up with me after games, even when i was too tired to talk. i’m in love with the girl who laughs at my worst jokes, who knows me better than i know myself. i’m in love with the woman who’s carrying our child—the strongest, most beautiful woman i’ve ever known. you’re everything to me. and i know i messed up. i know i pushed you away, but i swear to god, y/n, through it all, i never stopped loving you.”

his voice cracked, and he let out a shaky breath, the weight of his words sinking between them. “i’ll wait no matter how long it takes. because i can’t lose you. not like this.”

y/n’s eyes welled with fresh tears, her chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. she wiped her face with trembling hands, her body wracked with the weight of everything she’d been holding in. “i don’t know how we got here,” she whispered, her voice barely holding together. “i thought it would pass. that you’d wake up and see me but that day never came. i don’t even know how to find my way back.”

the silence between them was thick, suffocating. trent’s chest felt heavy, like the air itself was pressing down on him, making it impossible to breathe. he could see it—the breaking point, the moment he had feared for so long, just inches away. the more he tried to hold on, the more she seemed to slip from his grasp.

he reached for her again, his hands trembling as they cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears on her cheeks. “we can find our way back,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “we have to.”

but even as he said it, he could feel the distance between them, the invisible wall that had grown between their hearts over the last few months. the intimacy, the connection they once shared—it had been stripped away, layer by layer, until there was barely anything left.

“you stopped trying,” she said, her voice soft but cutting, her words like knives to his already battered heart. “you came home and shut me out, trent. i was begging you to let me in, to tell me what was going on, but you just... you weren’t there. and i waited. i waited all this time for you to let me in, but you didn’t.”

trent swallowed the lump in his throat, the weight of her words sinking in. she was right. he had shut her out, buried himself in his own pain, his own confusion, and left her alone when she needed him most.

“i thought... if i could just fix myself, if i could figure it out on my own, then... then i could be better for you,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret. “but i see now... i was wrong. i should have let you in. i should have trusted you.”

y/n’s lips trembled, her eyes filled with a sadness that tore him apart. “we haven’t even... we haven’t even been us for months,” she whispered. “the touches, the love... it just stopped. we don’t even spend time together anymore. we haven’t had sex, we barely talk... we’ve been falling apart, trent, and you didn’t even notice.”

trent’s breath hitched,” i wan’t to fix us but i want to. i need to,”he whispered, his voice breaking

y/n shook her head, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. “it’s not just about fixing it. it’s about wanting to be here. wanting to be with me. and i don’t know if you still do.”

trent’s chest ached, his heart shattering under the weight of her pain. “i do. god, y/n, i do. more than anything. i want to be here, with you. i’m so sorry for everything i’ve done, for how i made you feel. i swear, i’m going to make this right.”

but as he said the words, as he looked into her tear-filled eyes, he couldn’t help but feel that it might already be too late. the cracks had formed, the damage done, and no matter how much he wanted to put the pieces back together, he couldn’t ignore the fear gnawing at him—that this might be the end.

y/n let out a shaky breath, stepping back from him, her body trembling with exhaustion and emotion. “i don’t know if i can do this,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

trent’s heart sank. he stepped forward, his hands reaching for hers, but she pulled them back, holding them close to her chest. he felt the distance growing between them, widening with every passing second, and he was powerless to stop it.

“please,” he begged, his voice thick with desperation. “don’t give up on us. not yet.”

for a moment, y/n stood there, her tear-streaked face filled with a mix of love and pain. then, slowly, she shook her head, her voice barely audible over the pounding of his heart.

“i’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “but i don’t know if i have anything left to give.”

trent’s world crumbled around him as she turned away, walking back into the house, leaving him standing there in the fading light, holding the engagement ring that no longer held the promise it once did. the storm in the sky above mirrored the storm inside him, and as the first raindrop fell, trent realized he had never felt more lost in his life.

y/n sat curled up on the couch beside her mom, her head resting against her shoulder as they both wrapped themselves in a thick blanket. the warmth of the fireplace crackled in front of them, casting a soft glow over the room. her mom absentmindedly stroked y/n’s hair, a gesture she had done ever since y/n was a child. it was comforting, but no amount of comfort seemed to wash away the heaviness that had settled in y/n’s chest.

"i remember when i was pregnant with you,” her mom began, her voice soft and nostalgic. “i couldn’t stop eating pickles. your father would joke that you’d come out with a sour face." she chuckled, shaking her head at the memory. “and when you started kicking, you didn’t stop. it was like you were determined to make your presence known even then.”

y/n smiled weakly, the story a welcome distraction, but her thoughts kept drifting back to trent. it had been a few days since their conversation, and though they’d exchanged texts here and there, something felt broken—like there was a wall between them now that hadn’t been there before.

her mum, always so intuitive, seemed to sense the weight on y/n’s heart. she paused, her hand stilling in y/n’s hair. “how are things with trent? really?”

y/n hesitated, biting her lip as she glanced down at her hands. “it… it didn’t go well.” her voice was barely above a whisper. “it hasn’t been good for a while now. i just don’t think he loves me anymore.”

her mum sighed softly, turning slightly so she could look at her daughter. “y/n, i’ve seen that boy with you from the very beginning. the day you brought him home, i knew he was head over heels in love with you. he looked at you like you were his entire world.”

y/n’s throat tightened, her voice cracking as she spoke. “but it doesn’t feel like that anymore, mom. he doesn’t want me… hasn’t for months.”

her mum shook her head gently, cupping y/n’s cheek in her palm. “you’re crazy if you think that. i saw the way he looked at you when he showed up here the other day. that same love is still there, y/n. he might be struggling, but he still breathes for you. trust me, i’ve been around long enough to know what real love looks like. and that boy? he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he’s still trying.”

y/n swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling her mom’s words sink in, but the doubt remained. “it doesn’t feel like it. i’m scared, mum. what if… what if i’m too much for him? what if this is too much for us?”

her mum’s expression softened as she kissed the top of y/n’s head. “you’re not too much. sometimes love gets hard, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone. give it time, give him time. you two will find your way.”

as her mom’s words settled, y/n felt her thoughts drift back to trent. she missed him—the way his presence grounds her, how his laugh could cut through the heaviest silences, and the comfort of his touch, always able to chase away her worries. maybe, just maybe, her mom was right. maybe he was struggling just as much as she was. maybe, despite everything, he still loved her. maybe that love hadn’t gone away, even if it felt lost.

the thought stirred something inside her, a small, hesitant hope. the weight of their distance was still there, but for the first time in a while, y/n felt an urge to reach out, to close that space between them, if only for a moment.

a few weeks had passed since their emotional confrontation in the backyard. the days had been a blur of adjusting to her new reality, both physically and emotionally. y/n had begun to show the faintest signs of pregnancy, a small but unmistakable curve starting to form. each morning, she would stare at her reflection, running a hand over her belly, a mixture of awe and anxiety washing over her.

it was early afternoon when y/n picked up her phone, her fingers trembling slightly as she dialed trent’s number. It had been a while since she’d reached out first, and she was unsure how to navigate this new step. trent answered on the second ring, his voice a comforting blend of surprise and relief.

“hey, bab- y/n,” trent corrected, trying to keep his tone steady. “i wasn’t expecting your call.”

“i know,” y/n replied, her voice soft and cautious. “i just wanted to hear your voice. i figured it was time to talk.”

trent’s heart skipped a beat. “i am glad you did. i told i'd wait for you. how are you? how’s everything going?”

there was a brief pause on the line, and y/n’s voice wavered slightly. “i’m… okay. the baby’s growing. i’ve been taking it one day at a time.”

“that’s good to hear,” trent said, his concern evident. “i’ve been thinking about you and the baby a lot. i want to be involved, you know, if you’ll let me.”

“please, y/n,” trent pleaded, his voice filled with desperation. “come home. let me take care of you and the baby. i’ll do everything in my power to make things right. i just want to be there for you.”

“i know,” y/n replied quietly. “i’ve been thinking about that too. i’m still not ready to come back home yet. there’s a lot I need to work through, but maybe… maybe you could come to one of my appointments when you’re in london for the fulham match?”

trent’s response was immediate, his relief palpable. “i’d love to. just tell me when and where, and i’ll be there. i want to be there for you and the baby.”

y/n hesitated, her heart racing with the implications of their upcoming meeting. “it’s next week. i’ll send you the details once it’s confirmed.”

“thank you,” trent said, his voice filled with genuine gratitude. “it means a lot to me that you’re giving me this chance. i just want to be there for both of you.”

“i appreciate that,” y/n replied, her voice wavering with emotion. “i’m still figuring things out, but having you there… it might help.”

“i understand,” trent said softly. “i’ll be there, y/n. and if you need anything before then, just let me know. i’m here for you.”

they exchanged a few more words before ending the call, the conversation a tentative step towards mending their fractured relationship. as y/n hung up the phone, she felt a mixture of apprehension and hope. the prospect of seeing trent at her appointment was both comforting and daunting, a symbol of the possibility of healing.

in the days leading up to the appointment, y/n continued with her routine, her emotions a complex blend of anticipation and fear. She prepared herself mentally for the upcoming visit, knowing that seeing trent again would be a significant step.

trent arrived at the clinic much earlier than expected, a mix of anticipation and nervousness driving him. he paced the waiting area, glancing at his watch every few minutes, his mind racing with thoughts of y/n and their baby. he was determined not to miss the appointment, and he couldn’t help but marvel at how beautiful y/n looked, even in the midst of their struggles.

as he stood by the entrance, he saw y/n walking in, her face a mixture of apprehension and hope. she spotted him and raised an eyebrow. “you’re here early. don’t you have training before the match tomorrow?”

trent smiled, his eyes softening as he took in her presence. “i left early. nothing is more important to me than being here for you and our baby.”

y/n’s lips curved into a small, grateful smile, and she walked over to him. “thanks you for coming. it means a lot.”

trent nodded, his gaze fixed on her as they walked together towards the examination room. “i wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

inside the examination room, the doctor greeted them warmly, her smile reassuring. “hello, y/n. and you must be trent. it’s lovely to meet you. i’m glad you could join us today.”

“nice to meet you,” trent replied, shaking the doctor’s hand. “i’m glad to be here.”

the doctor turned to y/n, her demeanor professional yet friendly. “so, y/n, how have you been feeling? any concerns or symptoms you’d like to discuss before we get started?”

y/n took a deep breath, her eyes flickering to trent’s face. “i’ve been struggling with nausea every morning. it’s relentless and makes it hard to get through the day. i can’t keep much down—anything that’s remotely greasy or rich just comes right back up. sometimes, even the smell of certain foods makes me sick. and it’s not just the mornings. i’ve been feeling dizzy and lightheaded at random times, and my energy levels are really low. i’ve been so exhausted, barely able to get out of bed some days.”

her voice trembled slightly as she continued. “i’ve also been experiencing mood swings that seem to come out of nowhere. one moment i’m fine, and the next, i’m crying over something trivial. it’s exhausting. i’ve been trying to manage, but it’s hard.”

trent’s heart ached as he listened. each word she spoke painted a clearer picture of the struggles she faced, struggles he hadn’t fully understood until now. he squeezed her hand gently, his eyes filled with concern. “i had no idea it was this tough for you,” he said softly. “i’m so sorry for not being there for you. i should have been more aware of what you’re going through.”

the doctor nodded, her expression sympathetic. “these symptoms are quite common in the first trimester, but that doesn’t make them any easier. it’s important to take care of yourself and manage these symptoms as best as you can.”

as y/n prepared for the ultrasound, trent’s heart pounded with a mix of excitement and anxiety. he watched as she lay down on the examination table, her face a portrait of vulnerability and hope. trent took a seat beside her, holding her hand tightly.

the room grew quiet as the doctor began the ultrasound. trent’s eyes were fixed on the screen, his breath catching in his throat as the image of their baby appeared. he could see the tiny, fluttering heartbeat, and the realization hit him with overwhelming force.

trent’s eyes filled with tears as he watched the screen, his hand squeezing y/n’s reassuringly. “this is… incredible,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

as the doctor played the heartbeat sound, trent felt his heart swell. the rhythmic thud of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room, a powerful reminder of the life growing inside y/n. trent leaned over and gently kissed y/n’s hand, his lips brushing against her skin with tenderness.

“thank you,” he said softly, his voice breaking as he kissed her forehead and cheeks. “thank you for this, for our baby. i’m so grateful.”

y/n’s eyes filled with tears, her heart aching at the sight of trent’s raw emotion. “i’m glad you’re here,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

trent’s internal thoughts were a whirlwind of realization and regret. he thought about the pain he had caused y/n, the mistakes he had made. but as he looked at their baby, he felt a glimmer of hope. this tiny life represented a chance for redemption, a new beginning for their fractured relationship.

he thought to himself, i’ve been so consumed by my own fears and doubts. but this baby… this baby has the power to heal us, to breathe life back into our world. i can’t undo the past, but i can start anew. i need to be the father this child deserves, the husband y/n needs. i’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.

as the ultrasound concluded and the doctor began discussing the next steps, trent’s heart was lighter than it had been in weeks. he felt a renewed sense of purpose, a determination to be there for y/n and their child, no matter the challenges ahead.

trent sat in the passenger seat, the ultrasound photos clutched tightly in his hand, his eyes glued to the images as if they held the answers to all the questions swirling in his mind. the car ride had been quiet, the tension between them palpable yet softened by the shared experience they had just gone through. y/n kept her eyes on the road, but she could feel his gaze shift from the photos to her every now and then, as if trying to reconcile the reality of what they had just witnessed with everything that had happened between them.

when they finally pulled into the driveway of her parents' house, neither of them made a move to get out. the engine hummed quietly, filling the heavy silence between them. trent swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. he couldn’t take his eyes off the ultrasound photos, the grainy black-and-white images of their baby—their baby—so small, yet so real. he was still in shock, the weight of the moment pressing down on him with a force he hadn’t anticipated.

“it’s real,” trent finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “that’s... that’s our baby.”

y/n glanced at him, her heart clenching at the look of wonder and disbelief on his face. “yeah,” she replied softly, her voice tinged with a mixture of emotions she wasn’t sure she was ready to face. “it’s real.”

trent turned to her, his eyes searching her face for something he wasn’t sure he’d find. “y/n, i don’t want to argue anymore,” he said, his voice thick with sincerity. “i don’t want us to keep hurting each other like this. i want to be there for you, for our baby. i want to fight for us, not against us.”

her heart fluttered at his words, but the hurt still lingered, like a shadow that refused to be dispelled by the light. “it’s not that simple, trent,” y/n said, her voice steady but laced with the pain she had carried for weeks. “you can’t just say you’re ready to fight for us now and expect everything to be okay. you hurt me. you pushed me away when i needed you the most.”

trent’s face crumpled, the weight of her words hitting him like a blow. he reached out, hesitating for a moment before placing his hand gently on top of hers. “i know i messed up,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “i was scared, y/n. i didn’t know how to handle any of this, and i panicked. but that doesn’t mean i don’t love you. it doesn’t mean i don’t want this—want you, want our baby.”

y/n felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them away, refusing to let herself fall into the same pattern they had been stuck in for so long. “love isn’t just about words, trent. it’s about showing up, even when it’s hard, even when you’re scared. it’s about trusting each other, being honest, and not shutting down when things get tough.”

trent squeezed her hand, his grip firm yet gentle. “i know,” he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. “i know i have to do better. i want to do better. i want to be the man you deserve, the father our child deserves. i don’t want to lose you, y/n. please, just... give me a chance to make things right.”

y/n looked at him, her heart torn between the love she still felt for him and the pain that had taken root in its place. she wanted to believe him, wanted to trust that he could be the partner she needed, but the fear of getting hurt again held her back. “i’m scared too, trent,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “i’m scared that things won’t change, that we’ll just keep going around in circles until there’s nothing left. i need to know that you’re really committed to this, to us.”

trent’s eyes bore into hers, his determination clear despite the vulnerability etched into his features. “i am, y/n. i’m committed to you, to our baby, to our future. i don’t have all the answers, and i know it won’t be easy, but i’m not going to give up. not on you, not on us.”

the silence that followed was thick with unspoken words, with the weight of their past and the uncertainty of their future. y/n could feel the intensity of his gaze, could see the sincerity in his eyes, but the doubts still lingered, a barrier she wasn’t sure she was ready to break down.

“we have a lot to figure out,” y/n finally said, her voice soft but resolute. “this isn’t something that’s going to be fixed overnight. we need to take it one step at a time, trent. we need to rebuild the trust that we lost.”

trent nodded, his expression earnest. “i’m ready to do whatever it takes,” he said quietly. “i know it’s going to take time, but i’m here for the long haul. i want to be the partner you need, y/n. i want to be there for you, every step of the way.”

y/n looked down at their intertwined hands, the connection between them a reminder of what they had shared, what they had lost, and what they might still have a chance to rebuild. she wasn’t ready to fully forgive, to fully trust, but there was a part of her—a small, fragile part—that wanted to believe in the possibility of a future where they could find their way back to each other.

“okay,” she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. “we’ll take it one step at a time.”

trent’s shoulders sagged with relief, and he squeezed her hand once more, the gesture filled with unspoken promises. “thank you,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “thank you for giving us a chance.”

as they sat there in the quiet of the car, the weight of their conversation hanging between them, y/n felt a small flicker of hope begin to take root. it wasn’t much, and it wasn’t enough to erase the pain of the past, but it was something—a starting point, a tentative step toward healing.

and for now, that was enough.

the drive back to y/n’s parents’ house was heavy with unspoken words, both of them lost in the aftermath of the ultrasound. the image of their baby lingered in the back of their minds—so real, so undeniably present—and it had stirred something neither of them could yet put into words. there was a fragile connection between them now, one built on shared responsibility, but also the unresolved weight of the past.

when they arrived at the quiet house, y/n hesitated before opening the door, her steps slower than usual. everything inside felt still, untouched, a sharp contrast to the storm that had been swirling around them for weeks. she led trent inside, the silence between them heavy but not uncomfortable—just… fragile.

in the living room, she stopped, turning to face him, her expression soft but unreadable. she folded her arms across her chest, almost as if to shield herself from what was coming next. “i don’t know where we go from here,” she whispered, voice barely above a murmur.

trent stood just a few feet away, hands deep in his pockets, unsure of how to bridge the gap between them. he wanted to say something, anything, to make her believe in him again, but every time he opened his mouth, the words caught in his throat.

he could see the hesitation in her eyes, the lingering hurt. “i don’t either,” he admitted, his voice quiet, but certain. “but i know i don’t want to go back to where we were. i don’t want to lose you, y/n. i love you too much”

her gaze softened for a moment, the pain in her expression easing just enough for him to catch a glimpse of the woman he used to hold close, the woman he loved more than anything. “i’m just… scared,” she confessed, her voice trembling. “scared that it’s too late, that we’re too far gone.”

trent took a tentative step closer, his hand aching to reach out to her, but he held back, letting her set the pace. “i’m scared too,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. “but i’d rather be scared and try to make things right than walk away and wonder if we ever could’ve fixed this.”

for a long moment, they stood there in silence, the weight of his words hanging between them. then, slowly, y/n closed the distance, taking a shaky step forward, her eyes flicking up to meet his. “i don’t know if i can just… jump back into this,” she said, her voice fragile but honest. “but i want to try.”

trent’s heart swelled at her words. it wasn’t a promise of everything being okay, but it was a start. it was something. without thinking, he reached out, gently taking her hand in his, his thumb tracing soft circles over her knuckles. “we’ll go slow,” he whispered. “we’ll figure it out. together.”

y/n exhaled shakily, and for the first time in weeks, she let herself lean into him, her body easing into the warmth of his chest. he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, not in desperation but in quiet reassurance. “you in my arms…” he murmured against her hair, his voice soft, vulnerable, “it’s the only thing that feels right anymore. like for the first time in forever, i can breathe again.”

she closed her eyes, letting the comfort of his embrace settle deep in her bones. it wasn’t everything, and it didn’t fix the hurt, but it was something she hadn’t let herself feel in so long—safety. a small reprieve from the storm.

they stood like that for a long moment, holding onto each other as if the world outside had disappeared. it wasn’t perfect, but it was enough. enough to remind them that maybe, just maybe, there was still something worth fighting for.

when y/n finally pulled back, it wasn’t in retreat, but in acknowledgment of the space they still needed to navigate. she looked up at him, her eyes wet but clearer than before. “we’ve still got a long way to go,” she said quietly.

trent nodded, his hands lingering on her arms, reluctant to let her go entirely. “i know,” he agreed, his voice steady but gentle. “but we’ll get there.”

she wiped at her eyes and offered him a small, weary smile. “we don’t have to have it all figured out yet.”

he smiled back, soft and genuine, his chest feeling lighter than it had in weeks. it wasn’t a resolution, but it was a start—a beginning that neither of them thought they would find again.

as they stood there, the silence between them was no longer heavy with unsaid words, but filled with the quiet understanding that despite the uncertainty, there was still hope. and for now, that was enough.

the air was crisp as y/n and her mum walked through the quiet streets of their london neighborhood. the late afternoon sun cast a warm glow on the pavement, and the leaves rustled gently in the breeze. despite the peaceful surroundings, y/n felt a familiar heaviness in her chest—a weight she couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how hard she tried.

her mum glanced over at her, sensing the unease that had settled around her daughter like a cloud. “it’s nice having you around,” she began, her tone light. “especially with malik and your father always bickering about football. but… have you thought about when you might go back to home?”

y/n’s steps faltered slightly, and she looked down at the ground. “i don’t know,” she replied, her voice soft, almost unsure. “trent and i… we’ve been talking, but it’s not the same. i feel the ghost of the distance between us.”

her mum nodded, understanding the depth of y/n’s feelings. “i can see that,” she said gently. “but, sweetheart, he’s the father of your child. and more than that, he’s your trent. you two have been through so much together. don’t you think your relationship deserves the chance to get back on track?”

y/n’s heart clenched at her mum’s words. she knew the truth in them, knew that the bond she shared with trent was something rare and precious. but the pain of their past arguments still lingered, like a wound that hadn’t quite healed. “i just… i’m still so hurt,” she admitted, her voice trembling slightly. “he’s trying, i can see that. he calls, he checks in, but…”

“but you’re still scared,” her mum finished for her, her voice soft with understanding.

y/n nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. “i can’t forget what he said, how he made me feel. it’s like… like there’s this wall between us, and i don’t know how to break it down.”

her mum stopped walking and turned to face y/n, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “i understand your reservations, y/n. but trent is trying. that’s all you can hope for in a partner—someone who’s willing to put in the effort, who wants to be there for you, especially now, with the baby on the way.”

y/n wiped at her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. “he keeps asking you when i might come back, doesn’t he?”

her mum nodded, her expression softening with sympathy. “he does. he’s worried about you, about the baby. he always asks how you’re doing, if there’s anything he can do from here. but, y/n, there’s only so much he can do while you’re in london. the distance… it’s killing him too.”

y/n felt a lump form in her throat, the weight of her mother’s words pressing down on her. she knew trent was trying, knew that he wanted to be there for her, for their child. but the hurt, the fear of being vulnerable again, of risking her heart… it was still there, holding her back.

“i just don’t know if i’m ready,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

her mum gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “you don’t have to make any decisions right now, sweetheart. but just… think about it. think about what you want, what’s best for you and the baby. and remember, trent is there, waiting for you to let him in. he wants yiu and the baby, the both of you.”

they continued their walk in silence, the unspoken words hanging between them like a delicate thread. y/n knew her mum was right—trent was trying, and she could see the effort he was putting in to mend the rift between them. but the path to healing wasn’t a straight one, and y/n wasn’t sure if she was ready to take that first step.

as they turned the corner towards home, y/n glanced up at the sky, the fading light casting a soft glow over the rooftops. she knew she had decisions to make, choices that would shape not only her future but the future of her child. though the pain lingered, a part of her yearned to mend the fractures in her relationship with trent, to find a path forward that honored their love and their new family. “maybe,” y/n whispered to herself. maybe it was time to find a way to move forward, for their love and their family

next

© PDRIESTA 2024

[boothillssugarmomma]

Consequences and a Wedding

(Wriothesley x Fem! Reader)

cw-: ANGST HELLA ANGST, one sided love, best friends to strangers, marriage!, pregnancy and childbirth mentioned!, tears, Neuvillette mentioned!

🎀 authorsnote: literally cried halfway through this so enjoy fr

please don't steal my work!

Taglist🎀Genshin Master list🎀Other Lists🎀

Wriothesley and you have been friends for years, being locked up in the Fortress together and being closely the same age, you stuck to each other like glue.

Now everythings different, still best friends, but you moved to the surface..and fell for Monsieur Neuvillette. Wriothesley disliked this but never spoke on it, he just wanted his girl to be happy.

Even if she didn't know how he felt..

On one of your regularly scheduled hangouts with Wriothesley he brought up that a Melusine had reported seeing you and your...boyfriend...around the Opera House the other evening.

"Oh yes!" You beam with excitement. "Monsieur Neuvillette proposed!" You shake his arm, squealing into the night air.

“He proposed to you?” He quickly looks at your hand, looking for a ring. Once he spots it, he feels like he's been punched in the stomach..

He sighs. “And you said…?”

Gazing into your pretty eyes...god how they sparkle. No. Not now Wriothesley. Focus.

"I obviously said YES! I mean the opportunity doesn't come along everyday!" You sigh happily after.

He takes a deep breath before replying, trying to sound as monotone as possible. “…Congratulations.”

Every part of him was SCREAMING to tell you, tell you how he always wanted to be the one by your side, to propose, to marry you, to have kids with you. But he can’t bring himself to say any of that. Instead he continues. “Whens the wedding?”

"Nine months!" You chirp happily, twisting your ring on your finger. Your hair blows a bit in the wind.

“Nine months?” He tries to be as nonchalant as possible. “That’s… pretty soon.”

He looks at the ring one more time. It’s actually a very pretty ring. It suits you. He looks away, gazing over the hilltop you both were sitting on.

After a small pause of silence, all silent except for the small chirps and noises from the nighttime wildlife. You break the silence.

"You'll come right?"

He looks at your eyes. They look…excited about the whole thing. A part of himself wishes to destroy that excitement, to tell you that he doesn’t want to go, that he doesn’t want you to marry someone else.

He sighs. He could never say that to you. “Of course. How could I not go?”

Your mouth curls into a smile. "See I knew you'd understand..."

Don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush.

He puts an arm around your waist awkwardly. A part of him would love to hold you forever, but the other part tells him it’s wrong. That he can’t do this, can’t get that close. That doesn’t stop him from savoring the moment, though.

Wriothesley lets out a small chuckle as he looks away. “Why wouldn’t I understand?”

"Neuvillette said you'd probably be upset. But I don't know why." You sigh softly with a confused expression on your face.

You looked so cute like that..

NO. Nuh uh Wriothesley, get it together!

"Is it cuz I'm getting married before you? Because Wriothesley believe me someone WILL marry you!" You pat his chest with your hand.

He couldn’t help but laugh at your last statement, amused by how confident you sound while saying such a thing. He smiles, still looking away.

“Oh yeah?” He asked, chuckling again, then sighed. “I don’t really care much about that. And I’m not upset, I assure you. I just…” He paused, like he’s thinking of what words to use next. “I just…want you to be happy.”

"You're a great friend Wrio..." You smile gently. "Wait wait!" You squeal, pulling away to stand in front of him before grabbing his arms. "Instead of a maid of honor I want you!"

Great…friend. Why does hearing that word hurt him so badly? He puts on a soft smile while looking at you once again.

"You’d want me to be your maid of honor?" He raised a brow jokingly.

You nod excitedly. "YEAH!" Jumping up and down, shaking him a bit in the process. "Wrio PLEASEEE!"

He watches your cute expression, as you jump, smile and look at him with those pleading eyes. He laughs at your excitement and shakes his head.

"Archons…fine. I accept."

You hug him crushingly tight before pressing a harsh kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, thank you!"

His eyes widen for a moment, not expecting the sudden hug. It takes a moment before he relaxes, putting his arms back around your body.

He smiled and let out a small laugh once again, feeling your warmth against him. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment. He then said in a sarcastic tone. "You’re gonna be the death of me…"

You let out a 'pfft' sound and roll your eyes. "Ahhh you know you love me~" You smirk teasingly.

He chuckled at your comment.

“Love” huh? If only you knew.

He then jokingly replied. “You’re a menace. You know that?”

You take his hands with a playful smile. "Yeah ok Wriothesley..."

He tries to pretend he isn’t affected by your smile or by you holding his hands. But his heart beats uncontrollably fast under his chest.

He looks down at your hands. Such small hands in his much bigger ones. He feels a sudden urge to close his fingers around yours, hold your hands tighter, never let you go.

"Ok now I have to go.." You sigh softly. "Neuvillette will be wondering why I'm home so late..."

Right. Neuvillette. He forgot about him for a short moment. Now being reminded of it, he felt that familiar feeling of jealousy again.

He swallowed before talking, trying to sound as calm as possible. “Yeah, I suppose you should go.”

"Same time next week?" You hold your pinky up with a glint in your eyes.

A small smile formed on his lips the moment he sees your cute, silly gesture, which he gladly returned with his own pinky, hooking yours on it. “Sure. Same time next week."

You let go of his pinky and walk off, looking over your shoulder to wave bye.

He watches you walk away, unable to take his eyes off you. Your figure, your hair flowing, the way you wave at him..he memorized every single detail. It’s not until you’re gone that he lets out a small sigh.

How is he going to watch you get married to someone else..and the Chief Justice no less...

That night he has the worst nightmares. Now others can say falling in your dreams or getting chased in them or natural disasters are the worst nightmares to have. But no. Wriothesleys was coming to terms with the fact you were getting married.

Not to him...

He tossed and turned in his sleep, dreaming nightmares. Nightmares of you, dreaming about you in a beautiful white wedding dress, walking down the aisle to the man waiting for you.

That stupid fucking judge...

You look joyful, happy, excited…and he can’t do anything. Nothing but watch you from afar, as you reach your destination and that horrible man holds your hands in his.

He CAN'T let that happen.

That single thought wakes him up from the dream. He gasps as he sits up on the bed, breathing heavily. He couldn’t do anything in the dream, but…could it be different in reality? He clenched his fists, determined to do something about it.

Days, weeks, and months fly by. The amount of times he had almost told you how he felt...yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. So now here he is, standing in the corner of the bridal room, watching you get ready to be wed to another man.

He tries to look calm, hiding how nervous he actually was. You look absolutely stunning in that wedding dress, but it only serves to remind him of the nightmare he had. Seeing you this close but not being able to stop you as you get ready to walk down the aisle, it felt like torture.

He takes a deep breath before speaking up, not looking at you directly. “You look… beautiful.”

Your eyes light up as you gaze at him in the mirror you were doing your hair in. "You promise?"

His heart skips a beat when you look at him through the mirror. He almost lost his composure for a moment, but he managed to reply with a smile. “Why do you even have to ask? Of course I mean it.”

As he watches you straighten your dress and take a deep breath you nibble your bottom lip. "Do you think Neuvillette will like it?" You whisper worriedly.

His grip on his tie tightened. The mention of that name irritates him, yet he puts on a fake smile.

“He’d be a fool if he doesn’t.”

Wriothesley keeps watching you with loving eyes that go unnoticed. Watching you being so excited about wedding, listening to you gush over Neuvillette, it makes his heart ache.

Eventually, when you start fixing your hair, he swallows before speaking up. “Can I say something?”

You just nod with a smile. Acknowledging him with a small hum.

He was about to say it, about to ask you to reconsider marrying that man. Then he looked at your smile, the way it lights up your entire face. Archons, you’re too beautiful…

But he has to say it. He has to make his feelings known, or he’d regret it forever.

He takes a deep breath, clenching his fists tightly. “Don’t marry him.”

..

...

....

The room plunges into a silence. Deadly quiet, you could probably hear a seam rip. He glances at the mirror at your fallen smile.

"...What?" You turn in your seat to face him.

Seeing the confused, hurt look on your face is almost too much for him to bear.

He stood up, looking straight into your eyes. He’ll say it even if you end up hating him.

“I…I don’t want you to marry him. I don’t want you to marry anyone, actually.”

He paused, taking a shaky breath. This is it. His one and only chance. “I…I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for a long, long time.”

..

...

....

You stand up, eyes narrowing with anger and something else he can't detect. He could care less...you look PISSED.

His heart beats even faster. He can’t tell what’s going on inside your head, your expression is neutral now, showing him no signs of what you’re feeling. He swallows and continues speaking, slowly, like he’s thinking each word carefully.

“I know I…I know I have no right to tell you not to marry someone else. This is your life and you can choose who you want to spend it with…But I couldn’t just stand and watch, as you marry someone else, without telling…without telling you how I really feel about you.”

You take a deep breath and fold your hands together. "Wriothesley. You had ALL the time in Teyvat to tell me this."  Your whisper is deadly.

His shoulders lower, feeling the guilt of his own cowardness.

He looked down, unable to look into your eyes, before saying quietly in a guilt-ridden voice. “I know. I know. I should’ve said it sooner. I meant to, many times. But I… couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was… afraid.”

"You could've told me BEFORE Neuvillette!" You snap at him. Wriothesley flinches back a bit, you've never snapped at him.

“I know that too…!” He couldn’t help but raise his voice as well. “I know that. Archons, I’ve been beating myself up ever since the moment you told me you were dating him, asking myself why I didn’t just confess before all of this. But I was scared. I didn’t want to lose you, even as a friend. I…I was a goddamn coward.”

"Wriothesley this is bullshit!" You raise your voice again. Which causes him to do the same.

His usual calm and composed demeanor was long gone. He was yelling too, his voice filling the entire room. He’s glad the guests have moved to the cathedral and there’s no one else left in this room except you two.

He takes a deep, shaky breath trying to gather his thoughts and spoke again, his voice still rising in anger.

“You think I don’t know that?! You think I don’t regret the fact that I didn’t tell you sooner, that I didn’t tell you before you met Neuvillette?!”

You clap your hands together and grind your teeth together. "You think this is APPROPRIATE to tell me at my fucking WEDDING!?" You shout in his face.

“No! I know it’s not appropriate! I know it’s too late! I know you’ve made up your mind and I know this is horrible timing! But if I didn’t say it, I’d regret it forever!”

His voice was getting louder and louder. “You think I can watch you get married to him and pretend like I’m so happy for you? I’d be torturing myself!”

You just stare in shock and anger. "You...you can go!"

He paused to catch his breath. His heart was still beating fast from all the yelling, but his eyes widened at your words.

“What?” He said, in a much quieter voice. Is that what he heard right? Is she...asking him to leave? The same person who was so happy to have him as her 'maid' of honor, not less than an hour ago? “You’re… telling me to go?”

You turn away for a minute. "Get OUT." A dark whisper. And it shatters him.

Wriothesley went quiet. He couldn’t believe he’s actually being thrown out, by you, the person he loved. Then, another feeling hit him, making him want to punch something.

Never. Never in front of you.

“So…that’s it? That’s all I get?” He said, his voice rising again. “I pour out my feelings for you, right when you’re about to get married, and you…just tell me to get out?”

You let out a broken laugh and turn to him. "I'm getting married! Wriothesley." You swallow. "Did you even HEAR yourself?"

“And I know that! But by the hydro archon, it’s like you don’t even care I’m hurting! I’m trying to tell you I love you, and you’re acting like it’s nothing, like you don’t care!”

He almost yelled by the end of the sentence, all the stress and anger building up together now that he’s finally letting out what he’s been feeling. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, trying to fight the tears that started welling up in his eyes.

You take a deep breath. "You." You begin before biting your lip. "I can't believe you..."

He’s expecting some other mean words from you, words that’ll make him even angrier. He’s expecting another argument, but he didn’t expect to hear your own voice crack suddenly. He paused, looking back at you.

“You can’t believe me?” He asked, confusion and anger lacing his voice. “You can’t believe I have feelings for you? Why can't you…I’ve been loving you for years!”

You shake your head, blinking, so tears won't shed. "Wriothesley. Archons..I loved you." You whisper.

He wasn’t expecting that. Not at all. His anger fades away, his heart beating fast once again, but for a different reason.

“You…You what?” His voice went unusually quieter. Did he hear you right? Is this a dream? An imagination? Is all the stress getting to him?

"For years...so many!" You whisper. "And then you never expressed them back."

Wriothesley stared at you with widened eyes, his brain having trouble processing what you just said. He couldn’t believe it. You…loved him? The whole time? Then that’d mean…that’d mean he should’ve said it sooner, he should’ve told you a long, long time ago.

He slowly moved closer to you. “You…you really loved me?”

The room goes a bit quiet again. Guests shuffling by and then the noise disappears. 

"Yes." You whisper. "But...I moved on."

“Moved on’ ” was the part that broke his heart. He clenched his fists, looking down. He was too late, and now he’s going to lose you. All of it because he’s a coward who didn’t dare tell you how he felt.

“You don’t love me anymore.” He said, speaking barely louder than a whisper, as if he’s trying to make sure those words aren’t true.

You both pause as the church bells go off. The bells signaled that the wedding is going to start. He knew the guests had probably taken their seats already. Neuvillette is waiting for you, down at the aisle. But he still couldn’t bring himself to just let you go, not after having this conversation.

He took a few more steps, now standing in front of you, looking down at you. The pain in his heart became unbearable.

“Please, don’t marry him…"

You blink away a tear and swallow, reaching out to hold his hands. "Stay or go Wriothesley. But I'm marrying him."

The moment you held his hand his heart hurt even more. This is it. You’re marrying another man. The thought of it hurts his heart so badly he almost couldn’t breathe.

He stayed silent for a few seconds, looking at your hand on his, before speaking quietly.

“If I…if I can’t change your mind…Will you at least allow me one selfish request before the wedding?”

You hesitate before nodding. Time ticking down.

He closed his eyes, mentally bracing himself. This is the most selfish thing to ask for yet he wanted, no, no… he needed it so badly. He took a deep breath before speaking, looking directly into your eyes.

“Can I…kiss you?…at least once, before you walk down that aisle?”

God those eyes..

As they widen and you stammer he can't help but crack the ghost of a smile, before you calm down and sigh. "This doesn't leave this room.." You whisper.

His heart skipped a beat at your answer. By the seven, it’s like he has never felt so relieved and hopeful at the same time. You finally said yes. He couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest man in the world for a moment.

He moved even closer, towering over you. He held your chin with one hand, tilting your head upwards to look at him. His other hand was on your hip.

“Promise.” He said, before leaning down to kiss you softly.

He felt like he was on cloud nine when your lips met his. After so many times of imagining what it would feel like to kiss you, finally feeling your soft lips against his makes his heart beat even faster.

He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to keep kissing you more and more, but he finally pulled away when you did. It took a few seconds for him to recover from the shock, and he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Why?” He asked quietly.

"That was wrong Wriothesley." You whisper, rubbing your lipgloss off before reapplying it.

“Wrong?…”

The way you said it stung a little. He knew it was wrong because you’re engaged to someone else, but he’s pretty sure the kiss wasn’t wrong itself. The kiss was absolutely perfect for him, and he had to swallow the protest already on the tip of his tongue.

He stayed silent for a beat, before speaking again. His voice sounded frustrated.

“Why did you agree then?”

"I..I don't know!" You whisper frustrated and flustered, face burning with embarrassment and worry.

He watched you frustrated, still standing in front of you. If he’s being honest, it’s making him frustrated too. You didn’t seem to know what you want, what you’re doing, and by the seven, it’s driving him crazy. Why did you let him kiss you if you believe it’s wrong? And why did you allow him that selfish request in the first place if you don’t even know why?

He stepped even closer, holding your chin again, tilting your head upwards.

“Answer me something…”

You swallow your worries and nod for him to ask.

He leaned down a little, looking directly into your eyes. His voice was quiet and low, filled with mixture of pain, frustration and maybe a hint of hope.

“When you kissed me back, did you feel it?...”

You gaze into his eyes. "Feel what."

It took all his self-restraint not to pull you into a kiss again. He looked at you, his eyes darkened a little.

“Feel…anything.” He swallowed before continuing, his voice getting slightly quieter. “Anything at all….”

"No." You whisper almost immediately. The icy tone in your voice pierces his heart.

It felt like a cold shower was poured onto him. He knew you’re lying. He’s certain you did feel something. You must have. He’s sure you didn’t kiss him for nothing. He stared at you for few seconds, before finally letting anger take over.

“You’re lying.” He said, almost gritting his teeth.

You take a deep breath and shakily swallow. "I-I must go now."

He gripped your hip a little tighter, preventing you from walking past him.

“No, no, you’re not going anywhere. Not until you tell me the truth.” He said, in a firm and slightly commanding tone.

"Wriothesley.." You meet his gaze again and he sees it. Love. But...not for him.

He hates that he sees the love in your eyes and it hurts him. He didn’t want to accept it, didn’t want to believe what he was seeing, but it’s impossible to lie to himself. That look in your eyes only confirms what he already knows, and it’s making his heart hurt so badly.

But he’s going to push it further. Just this once, he’ll force it out of you. He tightens his grip on your hip a little more, almost enough to leave a mark.

“Say it. Say it out loud.”

"I love Neuvillette..not you.." You whisper, voice cracking a bit.

He already knew it. He knew you don’t love him. The way you’re acting, the look in your eyes were all enough clues for him to know the truth. But…but hearing you say it out loud, so easily without hesitation, it’s like another kind of pain.

He was still holding his ground. He’s not letting you go yet. Not until he says his own thoughts out loud as well.

“Then why did you let me kiss you?"

"Closure..." You whisper sadly.

‘Closure’? It’s like a stab through his heart. Closure. Of course that’s all he’s going to get, a ‘goodbye’ kiss to finally get the closure you need. He couldn’t believe it. You don’t love him, this was all just a ‘closure’ kiss for you. He took a shaky breath and almost whispered.

“Just… closure…then?”

You just nod gently.

He doesn’t know what part of him expected something different. He doesn’t know why his heart still hoped that maybe, just maybe, you’d realized your feelings toward him were stronger than you believed. He let out a bitter and dry chuckle. Closure. That’s what you want, and that’s what you’re going to get.

He took a few more seconds to control his emotions, before speaking quietly in a low, dark voice.

“And is this going to be the only closure I get?”

You look into his eyes, sadness in them this time. "Watch me get married at least?" You whisper.

But he knows he can't

His heart ached at the thought of it. The pain of seeing you walk down that aisle, marrying another man, a man that’s not him, will be unbearable. He can’t do it. He can’t make himself watch you marry Neuvillette and act like nothing was wrong, like everything will just go back to normal after you tie the knot. He just can’t.

He swallowed. If he can’t watch you get married, then he’s going to let you go in a different way.

The duke suddenly stepped away, taking his hand off your hip and letting you go. His voice took on another commanding tone. He’s trying to keep his voice steady and firm, even though the pain was almost unbearable.

“Go…” He said, gesturing towards the door. “Go…and go marry...him...like you’re supposed to.”

You smile sadly. "I hope to see you out there.." Hugging him tightly, holding on a little too long before breaking apart and leaving. Glancing back to blink a tear away before disappearing from his view.

It took all his self-restraint not to pull you into a tight embrace and stop you from walking away. He had to do this for the sake of his own heart, even though his soul was screaming at him to not let you go, to stop you and just pull you to him, maybe even lock the door so you won’t leave.

But he didn’t do any of that. He just watched you give him one last sad smile before you hug him. He closed his eyes, not returning the hug, letting himself enjoy the last bit of contact between the two of you.

He can hear everything from behind the door. The bells, the music, the voices of the guests, people waiting for the ceremony to start.

And he hates it. He can’t stand the thought of you walking down the aisle, smiling at Neuvillette, holding his hands, making promises to stay with him forever. To be with another man, a man that’s not him.

He leans against the wall, closing his eyes and trying to block out all the noise.

The tall man tried to hold on as best as he could, but he just couldn’t. He had to take a look. He’ll never get another chance, after all. He slowly opened the door, peeking through the gap, trying not to attract attention. He just had to see you.

The moment he saw you, all beautiful and radiant in your wedding gown, it’s like something broke in his heart. You’re walking towards Neuvillette, your smile bright and happy as you approach the altar. It’s like a dagger, twisting slowly inside his heart. This is really happening.

You’re going to marry him...

He sees you exchanging the vows, watching from afar with a heavy heart. The pain is almost unbearable now, watching you commit your life to another man. He’s not the type to show his vulnerability in public, but he can’t help but grip the edge of the door harder, trying to keep himself composed as his heart breaks into pieces in the process.

Our eyes meet, and for a second your voice breaks in the middle of the vows. But you quickly fix it. Looking away from him.

He held onto the door tighter as your voice broke. You looked straight at him when it happened, and he couldn’t help but feel his heart skip when your eyes meet. But then you immediately looked away and continued with the vows, leaving him stunned.

You saw him, you’re the one whose eyes lingered on him for a long moment, only pulling away because you have to finish the ceremony. Why do you look at him like that when you’re about to marry another man?

He can hear the priest going through the final part of the ceremony, asking you and Neuvillette say the last few words, saying ‘I do’. His heart hurt so badly that it’s almost hard to breathe. It’s over. You’ll now be married. You’ll now be a wife, a wife to another man...

"Do you. Take Neuvillette to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The priest smiles. You swallow and glance at Wriothesley before looking into Neuvillettes eyes.

"I do."

He stared at you as you said those words. His knuckles almost whitened with how hard he’s gripping the door, wishing he could just burst through and stop you… but he stayed. He stayed, and the only thing he could do is to watch, the pain overwhelming his heart and leaving him breathless.

He stayed silent as the priest proclaimed the wedding done, declaring that you and Neuvillette are now a husband and a wife, legally bound to each other forever… forever. The finality of it all left a bitter taste in his mouth. It’s over, for good. There’s no turning back now. You’re a married woman now. You’re no longer his, and it stings to realize it.

You and Wriothesley lost contact after the wedding. He holed himself up in The Fortress of Meropide, went back to being just an underworld dweller. Ten years had passed, and Clorinde had convinced him to visit the surface.

He had asked her over the years to update him on your life. But she refused. Not wanting him to worry about it.

Ten years might have passed, but the pain hasn’t diminished in the slightest. It’s dulled a little, but the memories of what happened that day still haunt him to this day, leaving a deep ache in his heart every time he thinks about you.

He’s doing a bit better now, or at least he’s trying to convince himself that way. He threw himself into his work, trying to find some kind of distraction, but none seemed to be enough to fully make him forget you.

When he finally goes up to visit  Fontaine's surface...for the first time in ten years...his heart stops as he hears a familiar voice near the Opera House.

It’s been ten years, but he recognized your voice immediately. He froze as he turned towards the source of the voice, feeling a sudden rush of emotions. Excitement, happiness, dread, worry, all mixed up into a messy bundle. It’s you. You’re here, for the first time in years.

You're holding a baby in a baby carrier, a grocery bag in the other hand. "Daddy will be happy to see you sweetheart~" You giggle at the baby.

He could barely believe his eyes. You’re here, and you’re holding a baby. As he observed you, the realization hit him. You’re a mother now. The thought sent a strange mix of emotions through him, a mix of happiness, sadness, and a sprinkle of jealousy.

The baby babbles and coos with excitement as you hand it a small toy.

He couldn’t help but smile a little as he watched you. You seem so relaxed, so at peace, holding your baby. You’re such a wonderful mother. He tried to push down the thoughts of him in Neuvillette’s place, standing beside you as you hold your child, but it’s almost impossible to keep it from popping up in his head.

His heart sank as he saw Neuvillette walking towards you, a small smile on his face as he finally catches up with you. He instinctively stepped back to stay hidden, watching you both with a mixture of emotions. It’s bittersweet, watching you with your husband and your child, knowing it could have been HIM if things were different…if only he was a little more brave...

He watched bitterly as you and Neuvillette exchanged a kiss, unable to look away. Seeing the two of you again, together, happily married with a child, makes the pain he was trying to push away come back, worse than ever before. The realization that you’re forever out of reach hurts even more now that he can see you right before him again.

As we walk past Wriothesley you don't even look. He doesn't even know if you recognized him.

He felt a pang of hurt as you walked past him without noticing him at all. Not even a single glance in his direction. He didn’t know if you didn’t recognize him or just didn’t bother to look, but the message is clear. You don’t care about him and you don’t plan to anymore. The realization stung, like a bitter pill he had to swallow.

He noticed you dropped something, a toy that your baby was playing with. He was reluctant to interfere, knowing he has no place in your life anymore. But the sight of you walking away with your child, unaware of the toy, tugged at his heartstrings. He took a deep breath, gathering what little courage he had, before reluctantly calling out to you.

“Hey…” He called out, trying to keep his voice steady as he called out to you from behind. He could feel his heart racing as he spoke, the anxiety of talking to you again after so many years and the fear of getting ignored leaving him on the edge.

You turn and laugh nervously. "Oh Gods sorry!" You hand the grocery bag to Neuvillette and take the toy from Wriothesley. "Thank you so-" You cut off as you meet his icy blue eyes.

He stood there, looking at you, his heart hammering in his chest as your eyes met his. For a moment, he couldn’t find the words to speak. Seeing you up close, those eyes, that smile, still the same despite the years that passed, it’s almost like he’s transported back in time before everything happened, before he lost you.

You don't acknowledge it as you clear your throat. "Thank you.."

He nods gently in response, still trying to gather his thoughts. Your casual tone almost stung, as if you don’t remember anything about their past. He took a shaky breath and forced himself to speak again.

“You’re…you’re welcome…” He said, his voice slightly unsteady.

He watches as you turn and move back to your place beside Neuvillette, his heart sinking just a little further as you don’t even look back at him. It’s like talking to a stranger. Or maybe that’s exactly what you two are now.

He let out a soft exhale, shoving his hands into his pockets to prevent himself from making a mistake by grabbing your hand and pulling you close.

His heart clenched as he watched you and Neuvillette walking together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. The sight of you both, with your child, the family you’ve built together, it’s like a dagger digging deeper into his already shattered heart. It’s like a constant reminder of what could have been for him if things were different…if he wasn’t so cowardly and actually told you his feelings before it was too late.

What could've been...

🎀End🎀

[emoreemadden]

hey guys!! i suck at keeping up with posts but heres something to tide yall over (not that you were demanding anything anyways 😭)

Outline: Marriage? Gojo had never thought about it. Until you, that is.

Content Warnings: ANGST!ANGST!ANGST, angst, AAAAAANGST, be warned of angst, kind of a little fluff, not many warnings for this. character death :3

Featuring: Gojo Satoru, fem!reader

A/N: i dont really like this but enjoy!! 😭 word count: 877

────────────────────────

Gojo, when asked, “Do you think you’ll ever get married?” immediately thinks about you.

He’s never actually thought of getting married. It’s not like he’s had time. But now, imagining a life with you, living together and having a happy ending doesn’t seem so bad.

In fact, it sounds lovely.

So, like any normal person, he confronts you about it. At the worst time possible, that is.

“What do you think about marriage?” He asks suddenly, cutting you off on your rant about how insanely terrible your day was and how everyone you meet is an incompetent asshole.

You blink at him. “Excuse me?”

“Marriage. Like, getting married.” He clarifies stupidly.

“Like… to you?”

“To me, or to anyone. Would you ever want to get married?” He looks at you curiously.

Marriage has always been a trivial idea to you. The notion of giving your significant other a ring and having a big ceremony was never that appealing.

But looking at Gojo, sitting there with your hand in both of his, his eyes waiting for your response, you reconsider.

“I mean, sure. With the right person.” You stare back into his piercing blue eyes.

“Do you think I could ever be the right person?”

You smile at him. “I think you’re already the right person.” And he grins.

Not even a year later, he’s got a ring on your finger and already planning your wedding. You couldn’t be happier.

The ring in question didn’t come until later, as his proposal was spontaneous. A random night, sitting at the park in a gazebo as a break from your shitty job, and suddenly he was down on one knee.

“I asked you a while ago if you’d ever want to get married, and you said to the right person. Then I asked if I could be the right person, and you said I already was.” He said as he sat next to you, looking up at the sky. You glanced over at him, curious as to where he was going with this.

You swear you looked away for a split second before looking back at him, and there he was, grinning at you goofily with his hands mimicking an imaginary ring box.

“Do you still think I’m the right person?” He asked, and you just nodded, too dumbfounded to speak.

“So then, will you give me the honour of being your husband?” And there it was.

You screamed your approval, and now here you are.

“I do.” You answer when the priest asks the long awaited question.

‘Do you take Satoru Gojo to be your lawfully wedded husband?’

He does the same, answering the question with the biggest grin on his face.

“I do.”

And then he’s kissing you with the force of a thousand seas, and you almost feel like he’s going to hollow purple everyone at the wedding with the way he’s crushing you in his arms.

You’re officially Mrs. Gojo Satoru, and he couldn’t be prouder. He shows you off like a trophy, bringing you around and taking every chance to let everyone know you’re his wife.

Until, one day, he comes home and you aren’t there.

Confused, he wanders around the house for a bit. Did you go out?

He finds a note attached to the fridge that says you went to grab some groceries, and his heart relaxes. Only for a moment though, as he hears a knock on the door and it’s definitely not you.

He walks over, and standing in front of him are two police men.

“Is this the residence of Gojo Satoru?” They ask, and he nods silently.

“We’re very sorry for your loss.”

His life spirals after that one sentence. Loss. He lost you. You’re gone. Never to be found again.

Every day he stares at himself in the mirror, wondering what went wrong.

Maybe if he spent more time with you, he could’ve saved you that day.

Of course, he knows you’d tell him not to blame yourself if you were here, which is sort of a paradox, because if you were here, he wouldn’t have to blame anyone for what happened anyway.

Eventually though, he puts himself back together. Piece by piece, he fixes it. ‘You would’ve wanted him to,’ he tells himself.

But every now and then, he goes to visit the gazebo where he proposed to you. Spinning the wedding ring on his finger that he hasn’t taken off since that day, he sighs. The memories of you comfort him, even if they do so in a terribly depressing manner.

He remembers your voice, even after all these years. A question he’d heard you ask that he’d brushed off because it pained him to think about comes back to him suddenly.

“If I die, do you think you’ll remember me?”

I do.

And underneath the soft moonlight, he swears he can almost see you sitting next to him, your head on his shoulder moments before he asked for your hand in marriage.

“I do.” He says aloud, a bittersweet smile on his face. Just like he replied when you asked him that question, and just like he replied when he was asked if he wanted you as his lawfully wedded wife

“I really, really do.”

[kittysoonie]

Warm Winter

Non!idolHoshi x Gn!reader (Happy Birthday Hoshi!)

Established relationship, slight angst (barely any tbh), lots of toothrotting fluff, 594 words.

Your boyfriend has been taking you on multiple dates this past month but he’s been acting too out of character. Is he about to break up?

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

“Soonyoung I’m cold.” You say as you walk side by side with your boyfriend.

“Told you to bring your own jacket, can’t give you mine tonight.” He mumbles back.

“You’re horrible.” You reply, sinking into your scarf to try and keep yourself warm.

“I liked the restaurant we went to last week better.” You try to start a conversation with a sigh only to be met with silence.

“Soonyoung!” You shout to capture his attention.

“W-what?” He stutters as you bring him back to reality.

“I said I liked the restaurant last year better.” You repeat yourself.

“Is that so?” He mumbles, “I liked this one more.” He finishes his sentence as he starts walking again, at a much faster space.

You furrow your brows at his actions, your boyfriend is usually hyperactive and excited at your dates but today he seems to be so out of character. Stuttering at his words and looking around nervously as if he wants to say something but can’t seem to get the words out.

Your brain begins to start spiralling as you start thinking of the worst possible scenario and the conclusion you come up with is that he is trying to break up with you.

You stop walking next to him and your thoughts are confirmed once he keeps going without noticing you being left behind.

“SOONYOUNG!” You shout after he is ahead of you, grabbing his attention immediately as his head comically turns around.

He begins rushing towards you, rubbing his hands to keep himself warm.

“What are you doing back there?” He asks in confusion.

“Cmon y/n let’s get home, you said you’re feeling cold.” He gives you an awkward smile as he takes your hands into his own.

“No.” You flatly disagree.

“No?” He repeats as his head tilts in confusion.

“Y/n can we not do this here? Please?” He’s almost begging and tears begin to fill your eyes.

“Are you trying to break up with me?” You barely let out.

“Break up??!” He almost shouts, more shocked than you.

“D-don’t be silly! You know I love you so much.” He speaks out confidently as he puts your hand into his jacket pocket.

You lean your head on his shoulder, “I love you too Soonyoung.” You mumble before you feel something in the pocket of his jacket.

You take the object into your hand and there’s a comical realisation on his face once he realises you can feel the velvet box in your hand, there’s no doubt about it because he sees the way your eyes shine as you turn to him.

“Is that what I think it is?” You excitedly ask, waiting for his response.

His cheeks turn bright red, “Y/n let go, this was supposed to be a surprise!” He whispers through gritted teeth, visibly embarrassed about ruining his own proposal.

“Oh my god! Soonyoung!! And here I thought you were going to break up with me.” You hum out in a sing-songy tone.

“Is that what all the expensive restaurants and dates were about?” You gasp out loud at your detective skills.

“Can we not do this here?” He whines out like a child.

You put your hands on your waist as u begin walking again, “let’s go home Soonyoung, don’t wanna wait longer to be engaged!” You speak out in a teasingly manner as you realise he is no longer walking next to you; you turn around calling his name only to find him on one knee, with the ring now on his hand.

“Will you marry me Y/n?”

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Thank you so much for reading! Sorry it took me so long to update, been busy with my exams lately lol.

All feedback is appreciated and requests are open as always.

Read more of my work:

Masterlist

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

me: i'd like a little chaggie angst in my life.

me: nothing major. no blood or screaming or anything like that.

me: maybe something that could slot into canon without much trouble? something quiet. something sad. a small gut punch, is what im after

my brain: On in boss! Give me a sec.

my brain: .....

my brain: Okay how about this- Charlie was so hyped and determined to have Vaggie come with for the heaven trip not just bc they're partners, but also because- Charlie was gonna propose.

me: .... why would she propose? and in heaven? aside from it just being a nicer less gory place in general, i mean

my brain: Well Charlie was super excited about the trip, right? She thought there was a good chance they'd win their case, confirm Angel Dust's path to redemption, show their hotel could work, and prove the exterminations aren't needed and should stop. That's HUGE! That's her and Vaggie's current life goal getting checked off- and if they can stick together through making a hotel for redeeming sinners work, then marriage is kinda just yelling that for everyone to hear.

me: wouldn't charlie be freaked out by marriage tho. her parents are separated, and her family fell apart for while afterwards. she's only just started picking up the pieces with vaggie

my brain: EXACTLY!!! Vaggie got her talking with her dad, talking with him got him kinda onboard with the save sinners plan- the plan Charlie is trying to make her mom proud with! So her mom and dad aren't together, but they're least on the same page now! As far as Charlie knows anyway. Meaning them being married had REASONS behind it, reasons that haven't gone away even after they separated- so it's not like them being married to each other was for nothing or a mistake. It was good! It can still end good! And having Vaggie in her life is what helped all of that happen in the first place. Soooooo....

me: marry that girl?

my brain: Charlie was expecting her and Vaggie to get a great win up in heaven, together, as partners. What better time and place to say how much she wants to keep doing that with her?

me: hmm

my brain: Plus if Angel Dust got the green light for an eventual move to heaven, having the wedding before then would be kinda important if they wanted to be SURE he could be there for it. And Charlie would DEFINITELY want Angel there for it.

me: true, true.... so, what are we picturing here tho? how does all this... become a thing i can feel sad over?

my brain: Well first, imagine Charlie planning it. Being exited for it.

me: oh she'd be so very excited

my brain: Imagine her the entire time they're headed to and are up in heaven, checking her pocket whenever no one's looking, triple checking on the ring, grinning to herself- physically straining under the urge to just blurt everything out to Vaggie like she usually does BUT wanting SO MUCH for this to be a special surprise for Vaggie!

my brain: She goes on the heaven tour while Vaggie stays behind, and Charlie's a little relieved to get a break from the constant urge to get down on one knee whenever she looks over at her girlfriend- she spends the whole tour of heaven gushing about Vaggie, barely taking in the sights- maybe even lets slip, to her HORROR, what she's planning to ask (a beaming Emily SWEARS not to say a word)

Getting back to their room Charlie has to spend ten minutes pacing outside, muttering to herself and checking the ring and REMINDING herself NOT to just pull it out the moment she walks in and sees Vaggie again after a whole two hours apart- She goes in, buzzing with pent up marriage proposal energy, not sure she WON'T just say it all right then and there, and...

Vaggie's curled up on the bed, asleep, luggage open next to her and one of Charlie's spare shirts tucked around her like a blanket, a small stressed frown on her face as she naps.

Charlie melts. She takes a slow deep breath, lets out a long happy sigh, and tip toes quietly over. She does get down on one knee- to be on a level with Vaggie so she can smile at her and stroke her hair and smooch that pinchy frowny face, chuckling softly about how Vaggie never stops worrying about things, even in her sleep. At least Vaggie IS sleeping now. She hadn't gotten much of it, leading up to the trip here.

The ring is pulled out of Charlie's coat and slipped into pants pocket instead so Charlie can safely drape the coat itself over Vaggie, who's curled up as if Heaven's perfect temperature feels a bit chilly- and Charlie moves the luggage to make room on the the bed so she can snuggle in behind Vaggie, arms wrapped around her, maybe not able to resist playing with her girlfriend's left hand a little before dozing off herself.

Imagine Vaggie had been working up the courage to tell Charlie the truth when Charlie came back.... but she wakes up already safe in Charlie's hug, and it's- it'd be one thing to face Charlie across the room and see her turn away- it'd be another to FEEL her let go. Or to be the one who breaks the hold, maybe for the last time

So Vaggie doesn't tell Charlie.

And the trial goes, the way it goes, and Charlie- never tells Vaggie what she wanted to say either.

Instead of asking a question, Charlie gets answer, and they both find themselves on their knees in heaven- but for all the wrong reasons.

Then its bad. Charlie's up in their room alone with Razzle and Dazzle- and the RING- and she keeps trying to put it away or even chuck it out the window... but it always ends up tucked in her fist. Slipped safely back in her pocket.

In Cannibal Town, at Rosie's, when asked if she loves Vaggie, Charlie stumbles over her answer- not because she doesn't love her or doubt it, but.

She almost blurts out, at the worst moment- yes she loves Vaggie. She was even going to ask her to....

Everything all flies out the window back at the hotel gates.

They've got a fighting chance against heaven, hungry cannibals to arm with angelic steel, friends who chose to stay and FIGHT for their home and each other instead of running for cover- it's not what Charlie wanted but she'll damn well take it and she means to KEEP IT- there's no time to think about what the actual battle will be like or what (or if anything) comes after.

Charlie doesn't remember the ring again until days after the After.

At night in bed, after a long day doing more minor endless finishing touches to the new hotel (with Vaggie) and an evening writing out thank yous to everyone who helped hoping none of the overlords suddenly think of an extra cost to that help, rewording until her hand ached (and Vaggie took it gently and tugged her away with a "we'll finish them tomorrow, sweetie")

Charlie wakes up at night, in bed with Vaggie, and lays there staring up at the dark ceiling, frozen in panic- until she not frozen anymore but slipping out of bed and into carpeted middle of the room, hooves muffled as she paces, picking up KeeKee on the way and petting her frantically as she tries to THINK-

The ring, the fucking RING.

She doesn't know where the ring went.

Where she put it- still in her pocket when she was changing into her dress for the battle? Which pocket- pants or coat? Where had she put those- no one had bothered much with stuff like laundry when there were fortifications to be made! Not with Vaggie running daily drills on how to fight exorcists, not with Charlie scrambling to learn how to fight after a life of not ever wanting or needing to, but heaven had done those things to Vaggie, had hurt her, and wanted to do worse to their friends and Charlie would be DAMNED if-

had Charlie's one random set of clothes survived the blasts from the battle? Had they been sitting in the rubble somewhere? The ring- the ring should have made it- it'd been made to LAST after all-

Had someone else found it? She would've heard if anyone from the hotel had picked up a fancy ring though- a random cannibal or sinner maybe?

Or...

... maybe it was just lost. Just, gone.

Fallen in some crevasse or crack into some deeper part of hell, if it hadn't been melted and shattered with all the holy and unholy power being thrown around.

She knows exactly what that would look like, after all those times spent checking the ring, staring at it and trying to picture Vaggie wearing it without squeeing too loud. It would've looked good on her- but that daydream is gone too, and Charlie just sees the ruins of it.

Black obsidian band broken, gold edging melted, inner inscription burned away. The paired musical notes articulated with fermata like little rising suns above them (the pause, to be held as long as they wanted it to be) bracketed and bracketing the blood red, small, heart-shaped diamond....

All of it now probably just one dulled chip of rock lying somewhere no one will ever see.

Charlie, standing in the middle of her and Vaggie's new bedroom, staring at Vaggie asleep in their bed- her exhausted girlfriend planted face-fist into a pillow, silver gray angel wings flopped awkwardly over the covers and spreading out so long and slack (relaxed) they droop over mattress on either side, flight feathers brushing the floor.

The scars are still there too. Also silvery pale in the dim glow of hell outside the windows.

But when Charlie finally releases KeeKee and slips over to adjust Vaggie's pillow (she'd get a cricked neck otherwise) she has to stop and kneel down on the floor for a bit (down on one knee again too) and stare.

Vaggie's smiling in her sleep. Her eyepatch is off for the night, thin slit of black nothing peeking out under the lashes of that eye, and Charlie can see the fresh scars on her left arm from fighting off Lute.

Charlie, picking up Vaggie's left hand playing with it again, like she had up in heaven. Pressing a small kiss to the stab wound in it's palm.

It would've been nice to put on ring on that hand instead.

But Charlie finds herself smiling anyway, softly, as she squeezes into the thin strip of space between Vaggie and the edge of her side of the bed. She snuggles in close, Charlie's cheek on Vaggie's scarred hand and her arms wrapping tight around her own small piece of something way better than heaven.

Vaggie's wing stirring and drawing in, folding over Charlie like an extra blanket and a dreamy hug, not even having to be awake to want her closer.

"Next time," Charlie whispering as she falls asleep looking at her partner- her partner in every way that matters. "'m gonna wait for you to ask... 's your turn to worry about stupid rings, and, stuff...."

On the carpet in the middle of the room, KeeKee licks a paw. Stops. Coughs. Spits something out- something that chimes metallically as it bounces and rolls off the edge of the carpet an onto the floor-

KeeKee sniffs the thing curiously. Bats at it with one paw, pushing it under a dresser drawer. Then, bored, licks said paw and saunters off.

Vaggie's startled wings will fling herself backwards so hard and fast into the bedroom wall she'll end up giving herself a concussion, later, when she finds the ring.

it's her turn to worry about it, after all

XD