#angst that’ll send me into a coma

[sorrbet]

I think something I’ll never get over of is that Gallagher’s real name was Penacony from being a bunch of pieces of Penacony mashed together by a history Fictionologist. And the repeated saying that "The Watchmaker had loved Penacony until his last breath" Mikhail being the watch maker it’s so..

Everyday this ship makes me want to rip out my own hair more and more.

The idea that Gallagher most likely knew Mikhail didn’t mean it as loving him but still holding it close to his heart and Mikhail not finding the way to say he means it is both loving the land of Penacony and Gallagher before he passes away . (；ω；)

And thank you timely Mikhagher account on twt for pointing this out

[soniaxdixon]

The New World; Series, Pt 3

okay, two parts in one day but I really just felt like writing. enjoy this part!! 

Okay so this is my first time writing a fic and obviously will be my first series but I’ve just rewatched TWD for like the 17th time and my obsession with Daryl has reached new levels. I hope that it isn’t too shit and that you guys actually read/like it. Thank you in advance for baring with my average writing but I mean, how else will I learn? Anyway, enjoy!

Sonia x

Season 1

Part 3 of ??

Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger hot headed sister. When Rick gets shot and falls into a coma, Y/N’s world ends. Y/N Finds herself at a quarry near Atlanta with her nephew carl, sister in law Lori and her best friend Glenn where she meets her new family including the equally hot headed redneck Daryl Dixon. Over time Y/N and Daryl begin to form a friendship, finally allowing one another to open up to someone and maybe finding someone they can actually love.

Words: 1790

Okay, I couldn’t hold out much longer with the whole slow burn thing, something happens in this fic...

Warnings: swearing, a little angst, slight mention of gore.

With your brother, Daryl, Glenn and T-Dogg gone you found yourself struggling to think about anything else other then something happening to them. What if they got surrounded by walkers, what if merle flips and does something to them. Constant ‘what if’ questions rolled through your head as you paced in your tent.

“Y/N!” You heard dale holler

“Hey Dale, what’s up?”

“You’ve been in your tent since they left, wanted to get you out here with the rest of the group, make sure you’re okay.” He said with sincerity.

“Thanks, Dale, I’m all good, don’t you worry. Got any jobs for me to do? I’d like to keep my mind busy.”

“Not really any jobs to do but you’re more than welcome to relax in the RV, I’ve got a couple of old books in there, maybe that’ll put your mind at ease.”

You nodded gratefully and made your way inside the RV, shuffling through Dale’s book collection until you settled on one, reading in the bed until the words began to sling together and you fell into a deep sleep.

You were woken up a while later by Carl gently shaking you. You jolted awake and grabbed your knife when you realised you had fallen asleep for god knows how long.

“Woah! I’m just here to let you know dinners ready.”

You scooted off the bed, stepped out of the RV and walked over to the group sitting around a fire, fresh grilled fish already on a plate for you. You sat next to Lori and nudged her. “I missed dinner prep? How long was I asleep, I should have helped.”

“You must have needed the rest, it was best to let you sleep.”

You nodded as you shoved a giant fork full of fish into your mouth while your stomach growled.

This night was like any other, sitting around with your family, chatting like nothing was wrong in the world, though you found yourself subconsciously searching for the archer who would usually sit across from you, constantly sneaking glances at each other. Your heart rate sped up at the thought of him and then the reality that he wasn’t there set in again, as did the worry. You were pulled from your thoughts by Andrea’s voice.

“Where are you going?”

“I gotta pee, geez, try to be discrete around here” Amy responded earning a laugh from the group.

You went to take another bite of your fish when Amy’s scream filled the air. You threw the plate and reached for your gun as you watched Amy being ripped into, Andrea already running towards her with Jim. Walkers started hastily shuffling out of the trees towards your family as you and the others sprung into action.

“Lori, Carl, you get behind me now!” You yelled over the gunfire shoving your nephew out of dangers way and putting yourself in the middle of it. You aimed at the nearest walker and BANG, it fell, a bullet between its eyes.

You noticed another hobbling towards carol, BANG, another down.

You continued to pace backwards until it was safe to send Lori and Carl into the RV. A walker lunged at you, BANG, now it was at your feet. You turned for a second when you heard Lori scream as Shane shot a biter that was close to her.

As you turned around another one lunged at you as you brought your gun up,

Click.

Your stomach knotted at the sound, you were out of bullets. You pushed against the walker with all your force as its teeth gnashed at your face. You could feel your arms weakening as its teeth got closer to your face, your feet began sliding in the dirt. You couldn’t bring yourself to pull one hand away to get your knife, this one was too big, the slightest move now and you would be gone.

BANG

The walker collapsed on top of you, knocking the air out of you as you went down. Suddenly the body was tossed away and a hand was outstretched. You realised who it was, grabbed his hand and he hoisted you up off the ground.

“Thanks, Daryl.”

He nodded and then proceeded to take out the walkers that just kept coming. You noticed how he shielded your body with his own as the dead got closer until finally, there were none left.

When everything was clear, he stormed off towards his tent without saying a word to you.

You found rick and threw your arms around him

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He mumbled into your hair

“For what?”

“For protecting Carl and Lori.”

“It’s what I do.” You chuckled slightly as you let go of him, your eyes flicking over to Daryl’s tent.

You built up some courage and started trekking towards his tent, stopping suddenly at the entrance and struggling to think of what to say. Before you had the chance to say anything he broke the silence.“Leave me alone.”

You stood there for a second before you shook your head and began unzipping the door to the tent and stepping inside. He stood up from his bed and loomed over you.  “Stupid girl, didn’t you hear what I said? Leave me the fuck alone!”

At this point he was yelling in your face but you stood your ground, getting angrier until you looked up into his eyes, you could see how red they were, he’d been crying, your anger slowly faded.  “I don’t need your fucking pity, get lost.”

He turned, expecting you to leave but instead, without even thinking, you wrapped your arms around his middle and he stiffened at the sudden contact, staring at his bed in front of him, then looking down at your arms that linked around his waist, holding him tight, grounding him. You felt his breath become shaky as he let himself cry which only made you hold him tighter.

When his breathing began to slow, you gently unlinked your arms and he turned to face you, tears staining his cheeks.

“I’m not here to offer you pity, I came to say thank you for saving me. I came to see if you were okay.”

He just stared at you for a second before you carefully reached up and wiped a single tear that was rolling down his cheek, then slowly, you snaked your hands around his neck and brought him into another hug. This time he didn’t flinch, he melted into you, placing his head in the crook of your neck while he let himself calm down.

“M’ sorry I snapped.” He whispered into your neck.

You pulled back and looked into his eyes, the blue being highlighted by his unshed tears.

“You don’t have to apologise, I get it.”

He nodded as his hands found your waist and he pulled you into another hug. This man had never been shown proper affection, he had never shown it to anyone but he so desperately craved it and you understood that, you finally gave him the affection he needed, that he deserved. You stayed like that for a minute before you pulled away, grabbing his hand and leading him over to his makeshift bed, a cot in the corner of his tent with his sleeping bag on top. You sat with him on the end of the bed and finally built up the bravery to ask.

“Daryl, what happened out there?”

He looked at you and struggled to form the words, tears threatened to fall from his eyes again until you reached for his hand and took it in yours.

“He wasn’t there, he ain’t dead but he was gone. Cut off his own damn hand, cauterised it. Tough son of a bitch. We went to look for ‘im but then this kid showed up and started yellin’, some guys took Glenn and we got into this whole thing, thought they might’ve had Merle too y’know. They didn’t. By the time we sorted everything out our damn truck was missin’ so we had to walk back. Thats when we heard the gun shots. Y/N I ran, I ran so fast and ya wanna know why? Because I thought I was gonna lose ya. I couldn’t lose ya too. I don’t know what it is but something inside me goes crazy whenever you’re around. I ain’t good at this type a thing, I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like I need to protect ya and I don’t know why. We’ve hardly talked but when we do it’s like my chest is on fire.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him, you hung onto every word for dear life, like he was reading your mind, like he was reading your emotions. Before you knew it you were pulling his face towards yours, pressing your lips against his, fitting together like a puzzle, like he was the one piece you have been missing your whole life. You slowly pulled away and looked at him, his eyes still closed from the kiss, a small smile gracing his lips, causing you to break out in a smile too.

“Daryl.” His name had never sounded so sweet, he opened his eyes looking deeply into yours as his cheeks flushed red. “That’s exactly how I feel.”

You spoke for a while, exchanging stories of the past. For a man who was so reserved, he seemed to open up to you like you were the only one who held the key to his stories. He told you about Merle, about his mother. He told you about his father, the things he used to do to merle, to him. You didn’t push him, you didn’t ask to see the scars, you simply listened and that was all he needed. The noise of everyone outside had finally quietened and that was your cue that it was time to retreat back to your tent.

“I’m gonna head back to my tent, I’ll see you in the morning.”

He wanted to ask you to stay, he needed you to stay. He felt like that was the only way he could sleep but he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

You wanted to stay, fall asleep on his chest like the many nights you had dreamt of, but you didn’t want to push what had happened. You slipped out of his tent, zipping it closed and walking over to your own. You couldn’t help fight the smile that crept on your face.

Neither you nor Daryl got much sleep that night, replaying the moments that happened, longing for each other in a way like never before.

[ad1thi]

i just called to say, i love you

dont let the title fool you this isnt fluffy at all

--

an au where the phone reaches before tony has fully recovered

post cacw, angst, past stony, 5+1, implied rhodeytony. the 5 times steve called and the one time tony did(nt)

--

1.

The first time it rings, Tony doesn't pick up.

No thats not right

Tony can't pick up, because he's just woken up from a 3 month coma and is currently breathing through a tube because there's a scar across his chest the size of Steve's shield and he's surrounded by life saving machines and he can't physically reach out and pick it up

He's happy he had the foresight to sign to FRIDAY that she needed to link the phone to her mainframe, because it rings only twice before there's a small click and the room fills with a hesitant

"Tony?"

There's a beat of silence, because Tony can't talk with a tube in his mouth and Steve's voice comes out more frantic

"Tony?"

Tony's saved from garbling a reply through the tube when FRIDAY steps in and says smoothly "Boss is indisposed right now, can I take a message?"

Steve is audibly flustered, Tony can hear him rustling sheets as he sits up, and he imagines its because of the surprise that FRIDAY replied and not him

"Hey FRI, uh is Tony incredibly busy?"

"Like I said, he's indisposed. Can I take a message or should I end the call?" there's a coolness to FRIDAY's tone and Tony absently wonders who taught his girl lip while he was under

"No thats fine," Tony can feel the dejection coming in waves, and there's a small, twisted part of him that's lying on a bed clinging onto his life because of the man on the phone- that still wants to crawl over and give him comfort, "I'll just uh- I'll try later that's alright."

There's a pregnant pause and then Steve's voice filters through again, "Would you tell him I called please?"

And FRIDAY replies, "I'll note it down on his low priority list" and severs the line before Steve can respond

--

2.

The second time it rings, Tony's just gotten back use of his throat. Rhodey has been wheeling in and out of his hospital suite periodically to feed him ice-cubes, and he's too worn down to fight the mother-henning

He's got all these ideas for braces that'll help Rhodey walk, but his hands shake too much and he's too weak to leave his bed, so he lets Rhodey heave himself up on the bed frame, and dutifully opens his mouth for food and water and ice cubes

but Rhodey isn't here and the phone is ringing and Tony can't stop his hands shaking

He manages to sign pick up to FRIDAY's camera in the corner of the room, and there's a soft click and a tentative

"Tony?"

just like last time

and it makes Tony want to laugh, inexplicably, because Steve left a hole in Tony's chest and he's the one who sounds scared while Tony is stuck to a bed

"Yeah Cap?" he croaks out, and he hates how frail he sounds, how obviously weak he is

"Tony? Is everything okay?"

Steve's voice is louder now, like he's holding the phone closer to him, like he cares

"you called?" he says and he's proud of how steady his voice is, how calm it is

"Yeah yeah i did i just," he trails off; and Tony bends closer to the phone until he realises that the call is being played by FRIDAY

"I just wanted to see how you were doing"

There's a hitch in Tony's voice, he knows because Steve says "Tony? Is everything okay?" but he can't breathe and the walls are closing in on him and his senses are dulling and

and someone's holding onto him, tight and steady and Tony leans into it desperately, anchoring himself to the lifeboat

His breath evens out and his vision sharpens, and in stages, he breaths in the musky scent of Rhodey

He loosens the death-grip he has on his shirt, but he doesn't move out

its selfish, so unbelievably selfish, because he knows Rhodey shouldn't be standing on his feet, but nobody ever accused Tony Stark of being a martyr

no, Tony Stark takes and takes and takes, and then he takes some more

His consciousness comes back in stages; and Steve's frantic voice starts getting louder

"Tony sweetheart, fuck sorry, didn't mean to call you that, Tony, are you- are you okay?"

Tony opens his mouth to reply, but Rhodey's dry tone comes out

"He's absolutely fine Captain, not that its any of your concern"

There's a soft thud and Tony knows its because Steve dropped the phone

he doesn't have the energy to smile

"Rhodey, I uh, I didn't realise you were there too"

"I am wherever Tony is, at all times Captain, its what friends do," there's a hitch in Steve's voice, but Rhodey continues like he hasn't heard it, "and its Colonel Rhodes to you"

The line clicks off before Tony can hear Steve's response, and he busies himself running soft circles, loosening his throat long enough to ask

"Is that all we are? friends?" in a hoarse voice

Rhodey doesn't say anything, but he does lean down and press his lips to the corner of Tony's mouth, and that, Tony supposes, is answer enough

--

3.

The third time the phone rings, its been so long, Tony's almost forgotten that the phone exists

Almost

As in its tucked inside one of his drawers, under a bunch of old files and documents, next to a small velvet box he found hiding in Steve's socks that he never got around to throwing away

Almost

As in he curls up next to Rhodey everynight, except the nights when he's looking for someone more muscular, someone blonder, someone who isn't the man sitting next to him

Almost

As in he's healthy and the braces work like a dream and he smiles more than he doesn't, but he still reaches for it sometimes and flips it open just to stare at the screen blankly

The phone rings and it takes him a second to place the sound, before he starts fumbling for anything that vaguely masquerades as a bookmark; thumbs the phone open and holds it to his ear

"Tony?" Steve's voice sounds gruffer, more focused, like he's actually called with a purpose

Despite himself, Tony straightens, and he silently signals for FRIDAY to call Rhodey; this might be an Avengers-level threat and while Tony's healthy- he isn't quite there yet

"Cap," he says neutrally

"Tony oh thank god," Steve's panting on the other end, and Tony physically bites on his tongue to stop himself from asking if he's okay, "Its Bucky"

Tony throws the phone across the room, and it hits the wall just as Rhodey is entering

To his credit, Rhodey barely flinches, he just walks over and maneuvers Tony until he's lying against his chest; fingers carding through his hair

Seconds, minutes, hours later, Tony whispers "he called about Bucky" and Rhodey bends down to press his lips to his forehead and they stay like that until they fall asleep; coccooned in each other's embrace

The next day, T'Challa calls to inform them that Wakanda will officially be initiating proceedings to exonerate James Barnes of all his crimes, and Tony feels a visceral anger until he realises that Steve probably called to give him a heads up

Its progress, evidence that Steve no longer meant to keep things from him, but the pain still burns anyway

--

4.

The phone wakes Tony up from his sleep, trilling and buzzing and Tony groans, flipping it open and pressing it to his ear

"Its ass o'clock in the morning Steve you better be dying or so help me god I'll kill you myself"

"You," he breaks off with a hic, "you called me Steve"

"I didn't think you did that anymore," there's a slur to Steve's speech- strong enough that it percolates through Tony's brain and he sends a silent curse to the entities above because his ex has fucking drunk called him

"Its been over a year Steve," he says softly but firmly, "I've moved on"

"You've, you've moved on?" he sounds so small, like a child who lost his favourite toy; and Tony's heart aches

but not a deep, twisted ache; a milder, softer one- for the man Steve used to be

"Steve," he says patiently, "its 2 o'clock in the morning; why you'd call?"

"I just called," there's a swish of liquid, and Tony has the image of Steve cradling a bottle, curled around the flip- phone burned into his memory, "i just called to say i love you"

"i love you and i miss you and i just-" he sniffles, and something he didn't know was still in him breaks at the thought of Steve crying, "i miss you"

"Steve," he says slowly, "you're drunk, and I'm tired"

"I'm drunk, and I love you," he slurs, "and tomorrow I'll be sober, and I'll still love you"

"goodnight Steve," Tony says and pushes the phone away before he says something he'll regret

--

5.

Its the stupid goddamn flip-phone. Thats how they find him. Tony's taken to keeping it on his person because all his intel says that something big is coming, and he doesn't want to be unprepared, so its not even a thought to slip it into his pockets before he flys to bumfuck Nevada to snoop around an AIM base

and he's so close downloading everything and getting away without detection, when the flip-phone starts ringing, and then all bets are off

"Steve," Tony intones as he bends behind a desk, "this better be important"

Steve says something in reply but its lost in the sound of bullets as Tony runs across the hall and ducks behind a pillar

"Can you say that again, I missed that"

"Tony are you, are you being shot at?" Steve's voice reaches new pitches and Tony shoots at the AIM goons coming 'round the corner before slipping down to the floor below

"I was being shot at," he says plaintively, keeping his voice low as he checks the expansive space, "now im being hunted"

"Why would you pick up when you're being shot at?!" Tony grimaces at his voice

"You did give me this phone for emergencies. I thought maybe this time you were using it for what it was intended. The end of the world waits for - ," he cuts off with a grunt as a bullet hits his leg, hobbling to where Rhodey is waiting with his escape ride

"- no-one," he wheezes out once he's in the car, and Rhodey is breaking a lot more traffic law than he should be comfortable doing

"the end of the world waits for no-one, so why'd you call?"

There's silence on the other end and Tony pulls the phone away from his ear to check the call hasn't accidently been disconnected, before saying "Steve? Are you still there?"

"you told me that I was only saying I love you because I was drunk"

Its so left field that Tony takes a few seconds to place what Steve is referring to, but when he does- he can't stop himself from sighing

"Steve look I - "

"I'm coming back to New York in 10 days," Steve barrels on like Tony hadn't started speaking, "I'm coming back home and I'm sober and I still completely and utterly love you."

"The only question is," and Tony can feel Steve steeling himself, "do you still love me?"

Tony looks over to where Rhodey is driving, petting the scar against his chest absentmindedly.

The scar had not hurt Harry in 19 years he thinks when Rhodey feels his gaze and smiles; but there's a tightness in his fingers and Tony knows that Rhodey heard the whole thing

"Steve I- ," he pauses, "ask me again once you're in town"

The line clicks on the other side, and he reaches out to intertwine his fingers with Rhodey's free hand

"I'm not going to make you choose Tones," Rhodey says softly; and Tony lifts their hands so he can press his lips to Rhodey's calloused hands because he knows

There's a silent countdown in the air that week, and Tony has a mental tally of the days,hours, seconds until Steve is back in New York

Except in the end, it doesn't really matter because 9h, 30 minutes and 4 seconds before Steve is expected to arrive in New York, Tony hitches a ride to space in a donut

--

--

+1

He's seen the news

Of course he's seen the news

Its all anyone's seen, and the only reason why he agreed to the godforsaken detour so that they could pick up Vision and Wanda

It's not that he didn't want to help them, its that he told Wanda not to go but she insisted and now instead of being in New York and saving Tony he's in Scotland, saving the person who was supposed to be looking after Tony

He's seen the news

He knows what's going on

But he still can't stop staring at the flip-phone, willing it to ring

So it honestly shouldn't take him this long to pick up when it actually does ring

"Tony?" he says, and he could cry because tony's okay tony's okay tony's -

"Steve?" thats not tony

"Steve hey its Bruce. Long time. Look I know its been a while and this is all very confusing and I'll answer all your questions later but Steve, Steve you need to come back to New York"

"Where's Tony?" he says dumbly, like he hasn't been watching the news obsessively

"Tony's," Bruce's voice cracks, "Tony's gone Cap. And we need you"

Fin

[temmie-loony]

Okay this is a lot but for the commentary thing basically the whole dream thing of Oliver in Words

Yep, that’s definitely a lot. I’ll just tell you how my thought-process was writing the chapter.

so what scenarios should they be

they should all be different 

should add a lot of domesticity for sure

one should defo be a dream/nightmare thing because inception

my grandmother: “oh i should tell you about that time your papa was such an idiot in love that he hung off a tree with the intention of serenading me but his shirt got caught and he had to be brought down by my father”

so the first scene should defo be Oliver hanging from a tree outside his own house because he’s an idiot who got locked out

WHAT SHOULD THE OTHER DREAM THINGS BE

there should be a dream alluding to Barry’s coma, how he felt helpless not being able to do anything, not being able to help because, after all, it was hm that rejected Barry as a soulmate

Karivarry with kids!

should i make it happy or angsty?

meh lets go with angsty

i should not include a dream scene where Oliver’s still a vigilante; in his head he should be what he wants and what he wants is to stop being a vigilante so he can take back Barry and have Kara too

and of course i don’t do that why would I I’m an idiot goddammit

Barry and Kara seizuring at STAR Labs? 

sure why not angst it all the way!

HOW AM I TYING UP THESE SCENES TOGETHER TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THEY’RE CONNECTED????

HOW THE HECK DO YOU DO THAT IN WRITING?

screw it

ah of course WORDS

Should I end this here?

Yeah

Oh wait let’s make this even more fucked up

I’m done

Wait

Let’s add in one “Ollie!” in the end

That’ll leave ‘em guessing

Who the fuck says that last “Ollie!”?! 

Barry?

Kara?

Thea?

Laurel?!

Meh.

I’ll figure it out next chapter

Send me a passage of 500 words from any of my fics and I’ll do a commentary on it.

[themisanthropiclycanthrope]

i have a merlahad prompt in case you got time: roxy: "i didn't know merlin had tattoos?!" harry: "i did" roxy: "what?"

Thank you for the prompt! First, I must apologise for turning what I’m sure you intended as something lighthearted and fun into…this angst-ridden mess of feelings. I just. They love each other, okay?

This also means I’ve reached the end of my queue of prompts. Feel free to throw a few more at me, if you like (:

Read here, or on AO3 (where there are accompanying translations.)

Roxy had become a familiar fixture inMerlin’s room, insisting that since they were both stuck there while theyrecovered from their injuries, the least she could do was keep him company.

Of course, Merlin was yet to wake from hiscoma, but that didn’t deter her in the least, and Harry was so very gratefulthat she was there whenever he couldn’t be.

And so he wasn’t at all surprised to findher sat in her wheelchair beside the window on that particular morning,chatting away about whatever came to mind. That it was an entirely one-sidedconversation didn’t matter; she had diligently kept Merlin informed of all theywere doing to rebuild Kingsman, outlined their new links with Statesman, givena full report on Eggsy and Tilde’s wedding, and kept him abreast of all thegossip, both work related and otherwise. Sometimes, she played him music.

Roxy paused when Harry slipped into theroom to greet him cheerfully, unsurprised by his appearance even though he was,technically, several minutes early.

“Good morning, Roxy.” Harry felt a swellof happiness whenever he saw her, so pleased she had survived Poppy’s horrificattack. He’d been devastated to hear what had happened, and as relieved asEggsy when they’d later found Roxy alive and with only relatively minorinjuries. “How are you today?”

“I’m good, thanks, Harry. They say I canhave the cast off tomorrow.”

“That’ll be a relief, I’m sure.” 

Harry turned his attention to the man inthe bed, knowing Roxy would forgive him his ill manners. He clasped Merlin’sshoulder in greeting as had become his ritual, born of a need to confirm thatMerlin was truly there, truly alive. If Harry was amazed by Roxy’s survival, heconsidered it nothing short of a miracle that Merlin hadn’t perished in thatexplosion. He hadn’t come out of it unscathed by any means, but he was alive,and for that Harry would be forever grateful. The Kingsman suit Merlin haddonned so proudly, while not blast proof in the same way it was bulletproof, hadprovided him some measure of protection.

Poppy’s mine may have taken his legs, butit hadn’t taken his life. Just like Kingsman itself, he was broken but notdefeated and, given time, both would recover.

Unfortunately, Harry had never been themost patient of men. 

“Good morning, Merlin.” Harry didn’texpect a response, but, like Roxy, always included Merlin in the conversation.The doctors had said there was a chance he could hear them on some subconsciouslevel, that the sound of their voices might be of some comfort. He hoped theywere correct.

“Any change?” He addressed Roxy once more.He would have been informed of any significant changes as a matter of course,but he always asked Roxy in case she had noticed anything, however minor.

As usual, however, she shook her head, anapology in her eyes although it was hardly her fault. “Sorry, Harry. Have faiththough, the doctors are positive, and I’m sure it won’t be long.”

“Oh, I have every faith. He’s far toostubborn a bastard to let something like this beat him.”

Roxy chuckled softly. “You know he mightbe able to hear you.”

“I’m counting on it.”

Harry pulled the visitor’s chair to hiscustomary spot beside the bed and sat down. There had been occasions when he’dremained there so long the medical staff had resorted to all but kicking himout, but they mostly let him be. Sometimes he talked, sometimes he just watchedthe steady rise and fall of Merlin’s chest.

“I didn’t know Merlin had a tattoo.”

It took Harry a moment to catch Roxy’s trainof thought, following her gaze to Merlin’s arm. The lowermost curves and swirlsof dark ink must have been peeking out beneath the sleeve of Merlin’s hospital gown.

“Oh yes, he has several.”

Roxy looked at Harry in surprise. Perhapsshe hadn’t thought Merlin the type.

“He calls them the product of a misspentyouth, but he’s actually rather proud of them.”

“And you’ve seen them?”

“Of course.” Harry considered that maybehe’d misunderstood the cause of Roxy’s shock. She seemed more startled byHarry’s knowledge on the subject. “That one’s his Army regiment’s insignia,” heinformed her with a nod toward Merlin’s upper arm and the design that hadcaught her eye. “But my favourite is the one beside his right shoulder blade,possibly because it’s the one I’m responsible for choosing.”

“He got a tattoo for you?”

“Yes, a painted lady.”

She blinked, nonplussed. “A what?”

“It’s a butterfly.”

Roxy grinned in delight. “And he agreed tothat?”

“Not at all. He lost a bet.”

Now she was laughing. “I’ll bet he lovedthat!”

“He didn’t speak to me for a week when herealised what I’d picked. But he did come around eventually.”

Harry smiled at the memory as it surfacedvividly in his mind’s eye; Merlin lying naked beneath him, trembling as Harrytraced the outline of the butterfly’s wings with his fingers, with his tongue.He hadn’t groused about it so much after that, only making the odd tokengrumble. It was a part of Harry he carried with him, a connection inkedindelibly into his skin.

“He was devastated, you know.” Roxy hadgrown sombre again, and Harry waited for her to elaborate. “When we thought youwere dead. He didn’t show it of course, but there were times I could see thepain in his eyes. Like when he told Eggsy how proud you’d be of him.”

Harry swallowed past the lump forming inhis throat. For more than a year, Merlin had believed him dead, had hidden hisgrief, mourning in private while continuing to work with undiminished diligence,guiding young Eggsy in Harry’s place.

“I hate that I put him through that.”

“No, Harry, it wasn’t your fault. He didn’tblame you. He blamed himself, but never you.”

Harry sighed in fond despair. That soundedprecisely like Merlin, taking responsibility for every little thing, howeverout of his control it may be.

“It was Valentine’s fault,” Roxy continued,taking it upon herself to correct the two old fools. “Just as this was Poppy’s.”

“He stood on a mine for me.” Harry wasn’tquite ready to relinquish all the blame. Not yet. “He sacrificed himself sothat Eggsy and I could complete the mission. He…” Harry’s voice faltered,failed, and he squeezed his eye shut against the sudden heat of tears. Roxystayed silent, giving him time to compose himself. “We both knew that, in thisjob, there was always a chance that, one day, one or the other of us might notreturn from a mission. I don’t think either of us realised just how much itwould hurt when it actually happened.”

Unlike Merlin, Harry had only grieved ashort while. After the adrenaline of the fight had worn off, and events trulysunk in, he had been left hollow, bereft, his heart caught in a vice and chesttight. But he hadn’t suffered his loss for long. His joy when Merlin had beendiscovered alive had been just as fierce, albeit in a different way, and henever wanted to experience that agony ever again.

He knew Merlin would agree with him onthat.

Harry remembered the delight in Merlin’seyes when he had finally regained his memory, when they were at last reunited,and could only imagine what it must have been like to carry the weight of thatpain for so long.

Merlin was far stronger a man than he.

Harry reached out, took Merlin’s hand,held it secure in both of his. They had always been strongest together.

“How long have you been in love?”

Stunned, Harry looked up, saw the gentlesmile on Roxy’s face. But of course she’d worked it out. Shrewd, clever Roxy.She hadn’t won the position of Lancelot for naught.

“More than thirty years.” Harry’s thumbstroked reflexively against Merlin’s wrist, over the pulse that continued tothrum beneath his skin. “It took us a while to get our acts together. He didn’tthink anyone could possibly love a rough-around-the-edges, penniless runaway,while I couldn’t believe someone so brilliant would ever want to waste theirtime with me. And that’s not to mention the prejudice we faced back then.”

“But you worked it out.” 

“We did.”

“I’m glad. It’s good that you have eachother, that you always have.”

“I consider myself incredibly lucky.”

And he was, fortunate beyond measure. Now all he needed was for Merlin towake up, and he prayed to whatever deity might be listening that it wouldhappen soon.

“Perhaps you should get a tattoo for him,” Roxysuggested with just a hint of mischief. “When he wakes up. To celebrate how you’reboth still alive.”

Harry glared as best as one could glare with only theone eye. He was certain it was still passably effective even when employed injest. “I’ll thank you not to put ideas in his head.”

It was, in fact, something Merlin had jokinglysuggested in the past, an idea Harry had vehemently rejected. But now hethought about it, recognised it as a symbol of his enduring affection, itdidn’t really seem all that awful. Roxy didn’t need to know that, though.

She was grinning, and Harry knew she had everyintention of mentioning it as soon as the opportunity arose. He sighed,resigned to the pestering he was certain to suffer. God forbid Eggsy should everhear of it.

But such a fate didn’t seem so terrible if it meant hewas so be surrounded by those he loved most.

“I should be getting back.” Roxy began to wheelherself toward the door. “Else the nurses will send out a search party.”

Harry saw it for the excuse it was, Roxy kindlygranting him privacy, some time alone with Merlin. “Thank you, Roxy.”

He was thanking her for more than just that, foreverything she had done, and she acknowledged his gratitude with a nod and asmile as she rolled out of the room.

Alone, Harry let his gaze linger on the familiarfeatures, so still now, but peaceful. He laced his fingers with Merlin’s,fervently hoping that one day soon he’d feel an answering squeeze.

His free hand he placed on Merlin’s chest, over hisheart and the words he knew looped elegantly above—Nemo me impune lacessit—andthe smaller script below that followed the curve of his ribs: cha dean duinedona ach a dhìchioll.

The former would always apply, as long as Harry drewbreath, and the latter, well.

“You have always done your very best, my dear Hamish,and I for one consider myself all the richer for it.”

Harry brought Merlin’s hand to his lips, pressed akiss to the dry but warm skin, and settled himself more comfortably in the plasticchair, ready to maintain his vigil for as long as was necessary.

[daechwitayoongs]

MIDNIGHT YOUTH III

Reader x Jeon Jungkook // HighSchool!AU // 3.3K words

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Language

01 02 03

A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter, I was feeling a bit dodgy about towards the end of the chapter but after getting my bff to read it she reassured me that I should just post it as is so that’s exactly what I’m doing..lol anyways as always feed back is appreciated x 

It’s been over a week since you’ve spoken or seen your mom but you know she’s been visiting you because when you come back from physical therapy there’s always apples cut with little bunny ears waiting for you. Mina, your attending nurse also said she comes sees you while you’re sleeping and asks for updates about your condition. You know you were in the wrong to speak to your mom like that but you can’t find it in you to apologize. She’s your mom, you think it’d be simple to just confess and say you’re sorry but you don’t even know where to begin. 

As your physical condition has greatly improved, you’re now able to walk on your own, well kind of since you use a walker to get around but at least you’re able to visit your brother. Nurse Mina got the doctor to approve letting you see him, in hopes that he’d react to your voice, though you haven’t had much luck yet you still believe Joon is listening and one day he’ll respond. 

“Joonie, I know every time I come see you, I always apologize but I promise when you finally wake up I won’t do anything that’ll require me to say sorry to you anymore. I’ll be the best sister ever, so please, can you wake up soon? because I don’t want to be left again, I don’t want to be all alone...” You then remember the photograph of you and the boy, you were wearing a bracelet with his initials, you quickly look at your wrists but there’s nothing there. Was it really only a dream? It felt so real, it couldn’t be just a dream. 

“Y/n-ah, it’s time to go back to your room..” Nurse Mina says as she helps you 

“Nurse Mina, when I came in the day of the accident what happened to what I was wearing?” 

“Your clothes were all bloody and torn so we tossed them. Why do you ask?”

“What about the bracelet? Was I wearing a bracelet?!”

“Bracelet?”

“It would’ve had initials on it..”

“Ah! Yeah, you did have one, I remember now because  we had to remove it since the initials were metal charms!” 

“Where is it now?!” 

“It should be back in your room, I put it in a little lock box for safe keeping..wow I completely forgot about it until now..How’d you even remember?”

“I’ll tell you later, for now, let’s hurry back..” 

Nurse Mina and you get back to your room and you desperately search the shelf for the lockbox but you can’t seem to find it.  

“Are you sure you left it here?”

“Of course, I remember as soon as you were moved here, I didn’t want to misplace..and I placed it on the top shelf!” Nurse Mina places a stool in front of the shelf and climbs on top so she can reach, then hands the lock box to you.

“What’s the code?”

“The day you were brought in..” You then hurriedly enter the date and the lock box props open automatically, filling you with relief.

“it’s really here..it’s real, which means he is too..” 

“Y/n, are you okay? why are you crying?”

“What?” You then look at yourself in the mirror, you really are crying.

“So are you gonna tell me the story behind the bracelet now?” You then tell her to sit and explain to her the dream you had while you were in a coma or at least the bits you remember cause you still can’t manage to recall all of it.

“That’s pretty much all of it..” 

“Okay so let me get this straight the initials on the bracelet belong to a guy, that is safe to say you grew up with and are very close to but all we know is his nickname, which is kookie..? Also that we’re assuming he no longer lives near you because the house in your dream went from warm colors to nothing..” 

“Correct! I’m surprised you’re accepting it all so easily..”

“Well it’s normal for coma patients to dream, also we have the bracelet as proof that that person does exist and considering if he still did live near you then I’d like to assume he would’ve visited you right away..but to be honest this all sounds too surreal like something out of a drama!”

“I know it does but Nurse Mina, I really do need your help..”

“My help? For what?”

“Can’t you search in the hospital’s database if he’s ever been admitted here?”

“If you knew his name then yes, I could try but all you know is his nickname..”

“That’s true but his nickname has to have a link to his real name right? Since it’s kookie then his real name must include kook in it!”

“Y/n, do you have any idea how many people have kook in their names?”

“Nurse Mina, pretty please! can you at least try?” You beg.

“Why don’t you just ask your mom? She should know..”

“Nooo! uhh sorry for yelling it’s just I have a feeling I shouldn’t bring him up..”

“Fine, I’ll do my best with what we know, which is that his name has kook and he should be around your age..”

“Thank you! Thank you so much Nurse Mina!” You hug her tightly. 

“No problem, now get some sleep, tomorrow’s the day you try walking without the walker and we get to determine when you can go home..” Nurse Mina then excuses herself and you lie down to get some sleep.

It’s been a few days since the day you asked Nurse Mina to investigate about kookie, you understand that there’s like thousands of guys with kook in their name but you were growing anxious, unsure if she’d be able to figure anything out about him. As you were taking a stroll around the rooftop garden, Nurse Mina appears before you out of breath. 

“Nurse Mina! Are you okay?!”

“I found something!” She says

“What did you find out?!”

“Okay, so I searched the database between this hospital and our sister hospital in Busan..now I don’t want to get your hopes up but-”

“Just tell me already..please!”

“I was able to narrow it down to less than 20 guys around your age that share kook and have visited the hospital within these past 2 years..”  She sighs and hands the files to you.

“Are you serious? That’s amazing! Why don’t you look pleased?” 

“Because this whole ordeal is very drama like, and if that’s the case then there’s a chance he isn’t using his real name especially if he just disappeared like you said he did..or he probably isn’t even in the country anymore..”

“Yah! Don’t be so negative, I finally have a lead on where this kookie guy might be and it’s all thanks to you..” You give her a quick hug and head back to your room because your doctor was going to visit you to talk about your condition.

“Y/n, where have you been? the doctor’s going to be here soo- what’s that in your hand?” Fuck, you didn’t think she’d be here already, you confidently walk towards her and swiftly put it under your pillow before laying down.

“I was sketching earlier at the garden..” She stares at you suspiciously but thankfully the doctor arrives before she can question any further.

“Hey, Y/l/n, how are you feeling? According to your charts you have significantly improved and can be deemed healthy.” 

“Yeah, I can get around on my own now but I still get tired occasionally.”

“That’s to be expected since you haven’t walked around in months, but if you stay consistent with your exercise then you’ll be running around in no time..”

“Thanks, I was also wondering when I can get discharged?”

“We should get you discharged by this weekend, we’ll just need you to come back before starting so we can make sure you’re in perfect condition for sports etc.” The doctor then excuses himself which leaves you alone with your mom.

“Look, I’m sorry about what happened the other day, my emotions were heightened and you know how much Joon means to me so you need to understand where I’m coming from..”

“Do you think I don’t? Do you think I haven’t been hurting all this time? It’s one thing for a parent’s child to be sick or injured but both of my children were in comas and Joon still is. Your father was sent to work in Busan back in January so I’ve been here suffering all alone. The hospital told me to go and they’d call if there were any changes but I couldn’t leave because, what would happen if you two woke up and no one was there. Y/n, a child can live without their parent but a parent can’t live without their child..” She says while holding back her tears.

“Mom, I-I didnt-”

“Just let it be y/n..” She places a kiss on your forehead before leaving.

You can’t even begin to imagine how much your parents have been suffering, especially your mom coming here everyday just to care for you both. All she was hoping for was for you two to wake up and then you did but you were a total bitch to her when she had a moment of weakness and said those things about Joon. if Joon was there he definitely would’ve given you an earful for acting in such a way towards her. 

After being discharged you decided to join your dad in Busan since It was the best option since this way your mom could focus on Joon while you spend the summer catching up on school work before the semester started  and it gave you a chance to look into the guys who lived in the area that may be your best friend. Though there was a slight issue, considering you have no idea what he looks like but that won’t stop you because you need answers and this kookie guy, is the only one with them. 

Your dad works hectic hours considering some days he works 5am-6pm and other days at 10am-11pm but what you can always count on is having your afternoons free to explore. You’ve been working diligently to complete all your assignments, it’s mid-June and you’re already about to take the finals to the first semester you missed at a local high school here in Busan that will supervise you and send it to your school in Seoul. 

The school is only twenty mins away by bus and they asked you to be there by one o’clock that way you can take the exam while the students were at lunch. Since it’s already twelve, you decided to head over so it’ll give you a chance to explore the area better. Once you arrived at the school, you looked around for the main office,but you ended up at the gym since you couldn’t ask other students cause they were in class. You began to wonder what if your best friend attended this high school, or what your life would be like now if you didn’t get into a car accident, but right now it isn’t time to have such thoughts. You open the door to the gym accidentally hitting someone in the face but when you go to help them up, they just grab your hand and make you run with them under the stage. 

“Hey what’s yo-” before you can finish what you’re saying he covers your mouth from speaking, thankful you wore a face mask if not you’d hit him already. Your phone then vibrates, you push him away from you and see it’s from the teacher who is giving you the final, she’s asking if you’re almost here considering it’s five minutes from one o’clock. 

“Shit..” The guy then looks at you surprised that you cursed. 

“Is everything okay?” He asks.

“Do you know where the main office is? I’m suppose to be there already..”

“Yeah, I’ll take you..” He starts to lead the way.

“So who were you running away from?”

“Ah, just some random girls who don’t understand what personal space is..” To which you laugh since he seems like someone who loves the attention but then you stop cause he’s staring at you.

“Sorry, it’s just, you don’t seem the type to mind the attention then again I don’t even know you so it’s not my place..” He stares at you for a bit then looks away and laughs.

“It’s okay, anyways were here..” He points to the office

“Thanks so much for your help..”

“Anytime..” He says as the door to the office opens.

“Y/n, I was worried if you got lost on your way here.” The teacher says.

“What did you say your name was...”  He can’t believe it, it’s only been 2 years since he has last seen you yet here you are standing before him, is it really you?

“Oh, my name is y/n, nice to meet you..” You say as you extend your hand to greet him but he just stares at it, why are you acting as if you don’t know him. 

“Y/n, we need to go take those exams..” 

“Sorry but I need to go, thanks again for your help..” You say as you excuse yourself and follow the teacher while he just stands there dumbfounded watching you walk away. He knew no matter what he wanted to figure out why you were putting on this act, he knew that whenever you saw each other again you’d be angry and hurt but right now neither showed in your eyes.

By the time you were finished with your exams, classes were officially over so it was time for clubs as you’re leaving you decide to check out the gym once more cause you heard the volleyball team was really good. As you’re peeping you see a ball fly towards your direction and it’s about to hit the girl next to you, not sure if your athleticism is still good you move in front of her and receive it, sending it back to the players but no one receives it and all there is, is silence. 

“Um, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt but it was gonna hit her..” The guys on the team then look at each other before running towards you. 

“That was amazing!”

“You got into position so fast!”

“How long have you been playing?”

“Are you new here?? we know all the female volleyball players”

“I can’t believe someone received the king’s serve...”

“Leave her alone already, can’t you tell she’s overwhelmed also you act like it’s such a big deal to receive my serves, I’m just not on my A game today...” He says as he hands you your bag. 

“Thanks..”

“Non-members aren’t allowed in the gym so all of you should leave..” He says while looking you in the eyes, something about him sends chills down your spine. He escorts you and the other girls out of the gym without breaking eye contact and then closes the doors before giving you a chance to respond. The other girls giggle about how handsome he is while walking away. You then start to head home also when you bump into the teacher from earlier. Jungkook felt bad for being rude to you so he wanted to go apologize but he sees you talking to the teacher, he doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, the conversation just caught his attention.  

“Y/n, how are you liking Busan? It’s your first time here right?”

“Ummm...”

“Ah right, your mother told me about your situation...sorry.”

“No, need to apologize..”

“How long were you...?”

“8 months..but I’m all good now so you don’t need worry. I’ll be back to take the next finals right before I head back to Seoul..”

“Why not stay here? I know our school might not be up to par like in Seoul but it can be a nice change of scenery..” 

“I have someone waiting for me so I can’t..” When he heard you say those words he didn’t want to hear anymore, he knew you’d eventually date someone but he didn’t know it’d hurt this much so he starts heading back to practice. 

“Right, your brother, I’m sorry..”

“He’ll wake up soon, so it’s okay, I’ll be going now..” You hurry back in the direction of the gym when you spot the guy from earlier.

“Hey!” You wonder why he is acting like he can’t hear you. “Hey, I know you can hear me! King!!” The name causes him to freeze in place so you catch up to him

“Don’t call me that ever again..” 

“Sorry, it’s just I don’t know your name..” He can’t believe you’re keeping up this charade but he isn’t going to give in so he walks past you.

“Did I do something to upset you?” He stops at the entrance to the gym before turning around to face you.

“Stay away from me..” He says before slamming the doors in your face.

You don’t get what his problem is, why is he upset with you, this is your face time meeting him and you thought he was nice but now he’s just being an asshole. 

“Okay so maybe I shouldn’t called him by that nickname but what else was I suppose to say when I don’t know his name..” You mutter to yourself as you enter your home because you can’t believe how rude someone can be. 

“Is everything alright?” 

“Oh, you’re home early today..”

“I forgot some files here, I’m just gonna drop them off and then I’ll be back with food.”

“Okay bring pizza, I’m going to go nap for a bit..” You head up to your room and open the door to you balcony to let the breeze in before laying down and drifting to sleep. 

“Y/n, you realized you love him more than friends..” 

“Kook? Is it really him...?” Have you been dreaming this entire time? why is Joon next to you, and why is kook there..

“Y/n, are you really just gonna let him disappear again?!” You can’t bring yourself to speak up, if everything has been a dream up until now then you can’t risk it. You just watch him get on the highway, losing him all over again. Before you know it Joon speeds after him and you’re yelling, telling him to stop.

“Don’t follow him!! Stop the car!!” You watch the light grow brighter, it’s too late..

“Joon!! Stop it!! Let him go!! Stop the car!!” You sob.

“Y/n! Wake up!! Y/n!!” Your shaken awake and your pulled into an embrace “You’re okay now..” You then realize it wasn’t your dad but the guy from school.

“Why are you here?!?” You shove him and start throwing pillows at him

“Look, I didn’t mean to break in! I live next door and I heard you yelling so I thought something was happening so I jumped over to check! I had no idea you lived here, I barely moved in!” He says.

“Okay, let’s say I believe, I’m fine now so just leave..” You say while trembling.

“You’re not fine, you’re trembling!” 

“Get out of my house right now before I call the cops!” 

“Fine, I’ll go!” He walks out to your balcony before jumping over to his. You lock your door and pull the curtains shut before collapsing on the floor and sobbing. You never had this dream before, why are you dreaming about the accident, what happened for you to be reminded of that day and why did his embrace feel so comforting as if it’s happened before. You’re not sure of anything right now but something is telling you that that guy is going to be causing you trouble and you should stay away from him.