#how can I make this about Chilaios?

[sorrbet]

I think something I’ll never get over of is that Gallagher’s real name was Penacony from being a bunch of pieces of Penacony mashed together by a history Fictionologist. And the repeated saying that "The Watchmaker had loved Penacony until his last breath" Mikhail being the watch maker it’s so..

Everyday this ship makes me want to rip out my own hair more and more.

The idea that Gallagher most likely knew Mikhail didn’t mean it as loving him but still holding it close to his heart and Mikhail not finding the way to say he means it is both loving the land of Penacony and Gallagher before he passes away . (；ω；)

And thank you timely Mikhagher account on twt for pointing this out

[feelo-fick]

i thought the reason was obvious..??

but you dont seem to get the implication so i guess ill just keep talking and you can listen if you want to

—

that one meme but its them :] sort of a sequel to this

[tinylyy]

ok chilaios nation i got a question. why hasnt anyone written a modern au w sugar daddy chilchuck yet? like. the potential is right here !!

just imagine with me. laios being basically the same 26 years old silly oaf we know but somehow he and chilchuck meet and start their relationship, and chil is this almost 40 years old stinky rich guy and their relationship isnt even sexual at first, they just hang out because chilchuck is shit at making friends and laios is broke and they like the company. chilchuck takes laios to all the restaurants laios wants to try bc ofc laios loves food and discovering new places. he also sends laios delivery of his favorites treats sometimes.

laios has always liked makeup and feminine clothes too but his father was a bastard and forbid him to use it. chilchuck finds that out and buys him makeup and dresses and anything he wants because he likes seeing laios happy even if hes emotionally constipated and won't admit that. at first laios only wears it around chil because hes still insecure bc of how his father treated him but slowly he gets confident about it. he looks adorable in long flowy skirts and dresses, the feminine cuts also fit him like a glove. especially the low cleavage cuts of some outfits. chilchuck is absolutely fine about it, he definitely isn't catching feelings for laios. nope, he'd never.

an extra detail is chilchuck checking with his daughters what brands of makeup are good and the ones that are trash so he can buy laios the good stuff only and the three of them having the time of their lives. ofc they'll tease their dad about his sorta-boyfriend-but-not-quite.

[prismatoxic]

cause I need to hear more of your sweet thoughts bout those two freaks, favorite laichil moments that have been stewing in the back of the mind?

oh gosh ummmmm

well now that episode 11 is out i am so very deeply fond of laios's visual pan from kensuke to chilchuck's dawning, rage-filled horror at what's happened

i think the swearing was better in the manga--not because the anime let him say actual words (bc i think that's awesome) but bc in the manga i thought they were still running while chilchuck was doing this. good visual

OF COURSE THE BEST EPISODE 11 CHILAIOS MOMENT... TO ME... is when chilchuck tells laios they're going to have a Talk later

the dub delivery kind of disappointed me (as it always does) BUT IN THE SUB the way laios immediately agrees is so very much, to me, a "yes sir" moment. and if you read my fic you know i'm very into this

i have a lot of little canon moments that i'm super fond of and am very excited to see in the anime... my faves are often when chilchuck is being a hostile little goblin but i'm so fucking excited about what i assume will be episode 13. you know. because

um

okay i have a lot of thoughts actually (MANGA SPOILERS I'M SERIOUS)

so. chapter 30.

chilchuck goes to get the party's supplies from where they were abandoned in the house they had dinner with falin at, having his own character arc along the way. we have seen him try to convince both leed and senshi that the smartest thing to do will be to lie to laios and marcille so they can return to the surface. trying to continue in this state will kill them, but neither of them will rest if they think they can still find falin. neither senshi nor leed agree with chilchuck's plan, and leed insinuates he's a coward. chilchuck stays firm. even after he's clearly pushed off kilter by leed saying he should just tell the truth, we don't have any concrete reason to think he will.

then they return and senshi is struggling to keep a now-awake laios down. laios is wounded and weak and senshi is a dwarf but laios is so deeply, fervently determined to get falin back that he's very hard to stop.

chilchuck, by contrast, is not strong at all, but somehow his added presence gets laios to sit back down. chilchuck rests a hand on laios's shoulder and even before he says anything, laios is looking at him. he knows something is coming. i think he resents chilchuck for it, too--the implication that there's anything to be said here.

we don't know at this point what chilchuck intends to say. senshi still thinks he wants to lie and intends to stop him, but i think it's clear in this moment that chilchuck has changed his mind.

he kneels--proud, all-too-aware of "how his people are treated for their size" chilchuck kneels between laios's legs. and i'm not pointing this out for horny reasons, for once.

he's bringing himself closer to laios--assuming a position associated with pleading and willingly making himself not the authority in this interaction. he believes, wholeheartedly, in what he wants to do and what needs to be said, but...

he also knows laios is hurting.

laios is... devastated. he's terrified. he's angry. but he's also still laios, and he knows chilchuck, insofar as chilchuck has allowed him to. he also respects chilchuck. so this--a teary-eyed plea to do what goes against everything he feels--gives him pause. chilchuck does not beg, and he does not cry.

...and he never talks about how he feels.

but he does, here: he doesn't want to lose his friends. and he does mean all of them, senshi included. he has three people to think of--three people whose lives he cannot in good conscience allow to be put at risk any more than they already have been. even so, he acknowledges that however laios feels about falin is probably incomparable.

but he tries to give laios hope--he gives him a plan of action. he says we will come back. he tries to impress upon laios that this isn't defeat and it isn't surrender, it's being safe. it's giving themselves an actual fighting chance at getting falin back.

laios doesn't want to... but he also doesn't say that. all the things he's feeling haven't gone away, but he's also aware of just how big this situation is if chilchuck opened himself up this way. chilchuck does not and never has done this. up until the fight with the red dragon, you could be forgiven for assuming chilchuck is just a contracted coworker who's a little fond of the party and nothing more.

senshi and leed, the only people who knew chilchuck's plan to lie to the others, don't openly acknowledge his change of heart... but they back him up. they pitch in to push laios just a little further, to get him to agree.

and it works.

so. um. episode 13 will be good i think

[authenticyuri]

The latest Dungeon Meshi chapter is incredibly good for many reasons but one of them is getting to see Chilchuck's arc and him growing as a character, especially when it comes to his opinion on Laios as a leader and as a friend. I am so interested in breaking down their relationship development (this also doubles as chilaios propaganda btw lmao)

This got extremely long so I'll leave it under the cut <3

At the very start of the manga, and throughout most of the middle, Chilchuck clearly brushes Laios interests and personality off as being weird, just like pretty much every other character, but underneath that is a frustration that comes from him thinking that Laios could stand to be a way better leader than he is. Chilchuck is arguably way more qualified to be a leader in their group, but taking a leadership position is obviously not something he could easily do because of how prejudiced against his race is. In a world where most races see yours as disposable, it must be incredibly frustrating to be hired in a group with a leader who lacks social skills, is very forgetful, and seems to only care about monsters, when you both know you could do a way better job.

Chilchuck has more experience when it comes down to that type of thing, given he organized a union for other halflings, and though he takes out his anger at Laios's naivety when it comes to that area, it's clear he does it out of care and just because he wants to see Laios improve. In dungeon groups, he's always been a follower, he's perfectly comfortable just being there to do his job, and do it well, then leave. He isn't itching for the opportunity to take over Laios's role, but he does want to have the type of leader he can easily rely on.

But because of Laios's inexperience and also brash decision-making, Chil feels responsible for holding him back and being the glue to keep the team together, even though he may not admit it, (something we can clearly see when he chooses to sacrifice himself instead in the dragon fight despite the fact he often tells others he won't be useful in combat, as well as when he chooses to step in for Laios's place when talking with the Canaries).

This is something even Laios has taken notice of, given that he wants Chilchuck to be the one to bring him back to his senses with a lecture right before his confrontation with the winged lion. Out of all the others, he depends on Chilchuck on being able to bring him back with his words.

But anyways, Chilchuck's character arc comes from accepting Laios as a leader and growing fond of his unusual methods of leading rather than frustrated. In the shapeshifter chapter, when it came down to Laios having to differentiate Chil from his doppelganger, you can very much tell he is terrified of having to depend on Laios's judgement. I think it is also made worse by the fact that the shapeshifter is acting exactly like the worst preconceived notions about halflings other races have, and at this point the only thing present in his mind is the possibility that Laios will let him die and be replaced by a stereotype of all things.

And even after Laios explains how he was successfully able to tell his team apart, (which was because of how they interacted with monsters and the dungeon), the others are impressed, but Chilchuck isn't content with just that and hoped that Laios would have known because he finally got to know the others on a deep level that Leaders are just inherently capable of.

But of course, Laios isn't capable of something like that. He isn't a mind reader and he obviously can't distinguish other people's real thoughts or emotions, even if they are fairly obvious. Laios pulled a feat in a way that was accessible and made sense to him, and Chilchuck wasn't swayed because of how atypical it was of leaders to act. (Yes I also read this is a neurodivergent in a neurotypical world conflict).

This hesitance to fully trust in his abilities is also why he advised Laios not to accept becoming a king initially when Yaado asked Laios to. But after Laios defeats Thistle, by using his knowledge on dragons, similarly to how he defeated the shape-shifters, Chilchuck finally starts viewing Laios's unusual problem-solving in a positive light. It's when he first realizes that Laios's obsession with monsters isn't the thing that's holding him back, but a useful asset. His interest and knowledge is what saved them and got them all as far as they have. It makes sense for his development to go from believing Laios could never possibly be a king, to outright encouraging the idea. In his eyes, Laios has already been capable of doing the impossible, and thinks that he should stop underestimating what he's been able to do.

A final point is that Chilchuck has always been able to read Laios like a book, and is aware of what's on his mind a lot of the time, but this used to only cause exasperation and contributed to seeing Laios in a negative light most of the time. However, in the last chapter, he is pretty much the only person who is able to tell that something about Laios seems off. He actually pays attention to Laios as a person and shows concern for his well being. Because he cares about him. Like he's obviously cared about him for a while now but I think this is the first time he's genuinely shown this much concern for any of his friend's mental state. I wanna cry

Anyways conclusion being Chilchuck has not only finally accepted Laios as a leader, but as an incredibly capable individual who he genuinely respects. That’s it thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[junimoss]

ok i have more you know how the only 5 chilaios fics on ao3 rn are all from chilchuck's pov well what about how laios feels about chilchuck huh. i think that laios does admire and respect chil personally like he compliments him so genuinely when he pulls off impressive feats (like defeating a mimic by himself or figuring out that those fucked up dungeon frogs' skin could protect them) i think in my sick fucked up little head that laios finds those aspects of chilchuck (outsmarting a monster/learning how to use parts of it for their own advantage) soooo alluring i would read a fic all about how laios realizes he wants to make out sloppy style with chil after those moments i think every time after that they have an encounter with a different monster he is looking intently at chilchuck almost like hes waiting for him to do something impressive yet again like oh nooooo theres a mimic in that other room what do you think we should do chilchuck meanwhile chil is like ??? why are you asking me?? you can literally kill them yourself just fine? and hes like yeah but. i wanna see *you* do it. I THINK CHILCHUCK'S SIZE ALSO PLAYS A ROLE IN THIS like him overtaking a monster twice his size is so sexy to laios you know that adventure time episode where finn tricks flame princess into fighting ice king for his own pleasure its like that. he wants to see chilchuck commit violence so bad. *pants out of breath like i just said all of this in one sitting without breathing once*

dont fucking tempt me i. have already been thinking about writing snth from Laios' POV ( i jus t have. no confidence in my writing abilities) but i think youre right. chilchucks competency is 100% part of his sexiness and laios knows this. bro is about to pounce.

[unkat]

chilaios medical au idea i have been bouncing in my head (will not be written until after my current one is done)

i am thinking of a like firefighter/paramedic story for these guys. where laios is a new shift commander/chief at a small middle of nowhere station and chilchuck is a medic from a big city who keeps getting reassigned because he is trying to recruit for a union and the company is trying to make his job unworkable/find a reason to let him go.

laios was promoted because of his work ethic and ability to teach other people about the ins and outs of emergency medicine, not because he wanted to be in charge. he is too new and disinterested in the company politics to throw him under the bus for other people, and by the time someone explicitly says he needs to fire him, he has gotten attached.

"he's reliable, does good work, and catches things nobody else here would have. i know he cussed out the family trying to get into the rig, but he had already told them no and they should be grateful he saved their daughter instead of filing a complaint! even if i were to discipline, he deserves a verbal warning and not dismissal. You were not there, and i am his direct superior."

(wins the argument and walks away trying not to hyperventilate)

also falin is a surgeon and marcille is a research fellow who abandoned her big-city super-focused projects to come out into the country and work with subpar equipment and an incompetent assistant. im not thinking like full rural hospital here, but closeish to it. could be an academic satellite hospital and she switched from like gene therapy trials to studying exposures/population/histology stuff.

shifting the touden hyperfixation from monsters->medical fascination i think would still get across the same vibes. falin is very nice and pleasant but she treats everyone nicely and pleasantly without actually empathizing with them. shes one of those surgeons who went to shadow a heart transplant in college and cried because it was so beautiful and then got a bunch of scholarships plus student loans for med school.

laios hunts and has a big appreciation for the lives of things he kills and butchering/using everything he can. then it translates to him being fascinated by the human body as an object more than as a being that is different and special from other animals that he is a part of. he is a fantastic emergency responder because of this- people are a pile of flesh that is broken somewhere, and he wants to figure out why. (this is something that I'm like. not sure if it is okay for me to include because it can be squicky/triggering. but i feel like when I'm unsure if I'm going too far that is when i am reaching the line i want to?)

the touden siblings still go hiking and mudding and spend their time off in the woods (marcille wears white shorts and sandels on a hike leaving laios to be very explicit and offering clothes to chilchuck when he offers him to join. chilchuck borrows his shirt and it is way too big, but he keeps it for a while.)

chilchuck is extra divorced. he facetimes with the girls a couple of times a week and gets them on rotating holidays. sometimes ex-mrs. tims invites him over for dinner because she feels sorry for him and her new boyfriend is also there. it's awkward but they both know he's harmless, just annoying and closed off. he smokes but has tried to quit 7-8 times. started when he was an emt and couldn't shake it because it helped him destress. he only knows how to drive well enough to pass his vehicle license renewals and still doesn't know what the buttons in his car do. the ac has been "broken" for a week before a station mechanic pushes the button to turn it back on (they should put a subway around here, stupid cars).

laios respects his experience and history of being at a constantly busy station that saw a variety of crazy shit. chilchuck initially resents him for being so out of touch, but grows to respect his leadership abilities. laios also always follows up on cases at the hospital to figure out the outcome and reflect on best practices.

he is the first person to get chilchuck to actually debrief after a shitty call and chil cries and never wants to talk about it again. but its like a seal in a dam has been breached, and opens up when they are cuddling on the couch. they spend more time off shift with each other. chilchuck crashes on laios' couch and initially feels like he needs excuses to do it until laios says he really likes talking with him and having him there. he tells him about the company's EAP coverage and that he encourages everyone to take advantage of it.

in the end, they hit that threshold of basically living together, and one of them would need to change their station (superior/employee romance) after they go from making out off shift in secret to seriously considering having laios meet his daughters in person. (they already think they're married because laios is always there when they call now)

[wormlette]

smaller than everyone chilchuck being understood by autistic laios. is this anything. (i am small and autistic and felt deeply represented by your post)

Oh my god I spent so long writing a FUCKING RESPONSE and tumblr deleted it kill me. ANYWAY “is this anything” friend this is everything. 🤝

I think the two of them are uniquely able to understand each other bcuz in summary, the things they are both most vulnerable and affected by, the things that have probably damaged their lives most, are things they cannot conceal from others. Laios’ autism and Chilchuck’s size. There’s VERY good discussions on whether Chil is totally normal, autistic but very good at masking, somewhere inbetween, or even whether he’s cis, and those would all INFORM this conversation but whichever way you read him, he is socially aware enough to see that Laios is NOT. And it drives him crazy and he is constantly frustrated and trying to teach him to be more aware of himself as the party leader and just “be more normal”. In my opinion this is because Chil KNOWS how much it hurts to live with a part of yourself you can’t control that makes it hard to make your way through the world — in his own way, he is trying to take care of Laios. This may be both for selfish (he wants a good stable party and that requires a good socially savvy party leader) and selfless (chilaios…) reasons, but either way. It’s essentially just there in the text To Me.

Chilchuck is probably extra frustrated because, at least as he seems to see it, Laios COULD choose to shave off those rough edges of himself and “pass” as respectable/“normal”. (Another reason I kinda think Chil has his own autism thing happening. In my experience, shamefully, I’ve been least patient with people who I see as like me but they just haven’t figured out how to stop the world from hurting them like I have.) (I imagine chil often thinks things like. why don’t you just change. Don’t you see how much easier it would be for you. Don’t you see how much you’re letting the world hurt you. Don’t you know what that will do to you, over time.) meanwhile Chilchuck cannot stop the rest of the world from seeing him as either childLIKE or just straight up a tall-man kid. No matter how professional he is or how scathingly he can insult people or how much he can drink — he can’t stop what people SEE when they LOOK at him (this also makes him a great trans character To Me). I think Laios knows exactly how this feels. He’s not seen as a kid, so it’s not exactly the same. But despite having everything Chilchuck would like to have (tall, looks manly, socially respectable in appearances)… Laios is never going to pass as normal once people get to know him. He ISN’T socially aware. He CAN’T pretend to be someone else anymore, not once the story starts.

So autistic Laios keeps bumbling through social situations that make people want to fucking hunt him for sport. He can’t say the right things, and when he has tried to be himself, we can assume it’s been very poorly received in the past, both when dungeoneering and prior as a little kid. When he’s not being manic about his monster special interest he seems to constantly be doing an Autism Stare that serves to keep people away from him and his sister.

The fact that Chil and Laios both, to some degree, can’t hide what they hate most about themselves, makes them uniquely able to understand each other. And treat each other with sympathy/empathy underneath it all. Laios is the one out of their party who most treats Chilchuck as an adult with agency (understands the stress of his work, defends him, lets him steer situations, listens to his advice, never demeans him or gives any indication he thinks he’s a child altho he did assume Chil is younger than him). If the daydream hour extras that give rough indications of who joined the party when are canon, Chilchuck is the party member who’s been with the party the longest, almost since Falin and Laios founded it, despite thinking of Laios as “the party leader comma I GUESS”. He keeps trying to beat lessons about leading parties into Laios’ head despite many ppl around him considering him a lost cause. As I’ve said in other posts…. He could probably just fucking walk out at any time and either retire or get a different party, and we know Chil has no problem hitting da bricks, but he doesn’t.

The things about themselves that make them most able to relate to each other are also the things that sometimes make them grate against each other (Chil berating Laios in the way only a guy with a major complex can and Laios pouting about it lmao. Laios continuing to be a big cute socially inept dummy anyways.) BUT THAT’S LOVE, BABEY!!!

[pluvio-floret]

Did you make the tragedy au? If so, what is it about? I think I have somewhat of a grasp on it but I would really like to read more about it and to hear your ideas and thoughts! :D

(p.s - love your art! <3)

It’s by me & @feelo-fick :))) It’s about Chilchuck finally going on vacation :>

Well..

I kid. Sort of.

It’s an au in which instead of the Winged Lion taking Marcille, it ends up settling for a panicking Chilchuck instead, to its disappointment. Basically, a Dungeon Lord Chilchuck au!

He’s separated from the party who are trying to find him, & as the dungeon changes, so does he. Despite his initial skepticism & caution, he starts to indulge in some of his addictions & dreams, such as one of a safer world, one of good cheer & little care. One in which he can relax, but also control if need be… (Is he in control?)

The others manage to catch up with the two, the golden of which plays a trick, winning Chilchuck for longer. When the party finally realize what’s happened & go back after him, several events (which I’m trying to be vague about for now) ensue…

(With lots of mythological ties, of course. Have you read the title of my blog? Have you seen the Orpheus & Eurydice things? And then there’s Dionysius. Not to mention the Minotaur…)

…All the while the hourglass winds down, things becoming progressively harder & harder to tell if they’re real or fake (the alcohol surely not helping). People aren’t just themselves anymore- Monsters are people & the reverse is true too. Whom do you trust when a face is shared? Whom do you trust when you become worse?

-

Sorry for how vague this got; I’m not sure how much to share just yet. We like keeping things ‘oooooOoo so mysterious’ for funsies but also want people to Know The Stuff, which gets complicated lol. There is a lot that we have for this au though, & those “events” I mentioned we’re very normal about, so things relating to & about that pop up in our posts about it all the time. So… There’s that, have fun.

(Also thank you so much!! :)))))))) )

-

OH ALSO it’s chilaios this is an au with chilaios I forgot to say!! It plays. Their relationship plays. A rather nice chunk of it. It’s not what it’s abboutttt exactly but yeah plays a big part those two’s uhh.. Interactions. And it stabs my heart :) I love them. May they bleed terribly. So very terribly <3

[chilpilled]

ngl I've.. gone through this blog multiple times now because every chilaios post is so fascinating and I'm nodding my head to every post like you get it, you get these freaks so well and here I thought I was going insane alone seeing all this chemistry between them. like. .. why are you freaks standing so close all the time, stop staring at each other, how do you know what the other is thinking so well, the fact Laios calls him 'chil', omfg I want them dead. stumbling upon this blog was a blessing and I eagerly eat every chilaios thought ty

YES YES YES…….im taking ur hand lets skip together over the chilaios fields <3333 welcome….they make me so insane its not even funny. im happy u see my sick and twisted visiom <3333 why all that unspoken trust and casual intimacy if not to kiss on the mouth a little bit. im normal about them i swear. i can be trusted with manga panels where they look at each other

[feelo-fick]

"it must be the caffiene."

"...? we didn't have anything caffinated?"

//

CHILAIOS WEEK DAY 2 : Changeling

HI THIS IS SUPER LATE BUT ART HAS BEEN. HARD. AND YES I SKIPPED ONE DAY THAT ONE IS GONNA GO LAST BECAUSE ITS TAKING SO LONG TO MAKE.... ill get to the others when i find the time.

Bonus :

[chewchuck]

AND ANOTHER THING! (IM BACK FOR MORE)

I absolutely picked up on a few things that honestly had me just asking more questions about Chilchuck’s pov. On one hand, I usually love seeing each pov within the chapters, but! on the other, it was very what’s the word… fitting? nicely done. how you handle the showing and telling of the story

My internal dialogue was a lot of “Oh surely this man is not entirely oblivious to dog boy over here.” “Oh he has GOT to be thinking thoughts rn.” So eek! Yes I am so excited about the addition lol

Also I have no idea WHAT they’re put in this stuff, but Dungeon Meshi has just… gotten me in a chokehold. The Chilaios Nation, don’t know what y’all are doing, but it also has me in a chokehold. Scarily dragging me in. I am obsessing I am refreshing my tabs I am unwell I am blessed with a feast fit for a king this is affecting my mental health I need sleep. Anyway, love all the chilaios nation folks <3

listen to me. look me in my eyes. i am gripping you by the shoulders. this is everything to me

because so genuinely while writing the first part, i considered every single aspect of what chikchuck thought about what was going on. what was he feeling what was he thinking etc etc and i while i don’t always think that’s necessarily for a limited pov fic, especially not when it comes to one that boils down to self indulgent smut, like i said *i* knew what he was going through and wanted to try to translate that to the audience with out like. making it so obvious that laios should have picked up on it.

and when trying to convey something subtle like that it’s so easy for it to go completely unnoticed. and honestly i do think i would have been just fine with that actually! bc i never intended to make a second part of this from chilchucks pov!

but the way sooo many people have been like “i am picking up on this” just made me so happy!!! like i said a billion times while writing this i made and am still making this for me first and foremost! it’s self indulgent and all about what *i* want to happen and what makes me happy

but that doesn’t change the fact that i am so overwhelmingly happy that so many other people are enjoying it!! im over the moon about that! and thats a HUGE part of why i got inspired to actually write a chilchuck pov!!!

(and not to curse myself but uhm. based on the current word count compared to the equivalent part of the first part it. well it might end up longer. but shh don’t tell anyone)

BUT YEAH WTF DID RYOKO KUI PUT IN THIS FUCKING SHOW AND WHAT IS IT ABOUT CHILAIOS NATION.

i think it’s crack cocaine

i’m would like to reiterate/make it clear that i made this blog LESS THAN A WEEK AGO. that’s how insane this shit had made me. it’s been less than a week and i’ve made a whole side blog, wrote over 11k of fic, made several friends, joined a discord server and am HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE. i am having more fun in this fandom than i can remember having in almost 15 years

sorry this reply got REALLY long but. it just feels good. i’m happy. i’m having fun and im glad there are other people along for the ride who are having fun as well :3

[prismatoxic]

i know we're all chilaios-pilled here but penny for your thoughts on kabumisu? theres just something so charming bout them, you cannot tell me kabru wasnt feeling the dokis when mithrun threw that punch to calm him down, they're so funny and sweet, what made them click for you?

as soon as kabru and mithrun were alone, i started thinking they'd probably be a good ship, but kabru being able to get mithrun to eat and sleep and take care of himself in ways pattadol and the others couldn't just... got to me. it's not even that pattadol isn't trying so much as it's kabru having a totally different approach that happened to work better.

and like, kabru doesn't think about it. it's not a burden to him, and he goes above and beyond to do it right. it's such a good demonstration of who he is--that for all the 5D chess he's playing, for all the manipulation he's capable of, he's kind. helping mithrun becomes his job very suddenly and he adapts to it as best he can... and mithrun's party notices the difference in how it affects him.

i also really loved kabru trying to pare down mithrun's backstory for the purpose of being able to share it with others as a cautionary tale... he focused on the wrong things at times, but he really was trying to do something functional, and then you have this:

he's not trying to minimize mithrun's story so much as he's trying to make it something they can use to further their mutual goal of making people understand the dangers of dungeons. the real story, the full depth of it, is something kabru is willing to know, and continue asking about. he's trying to fill in the gaps where mithrun's self-preservation no longer exists, and this approach is included in that.

but the real deal-closer for me i think was their final two scenes together. when kabru convinces mithrun to try and live again, and mithrun actually listened to him... and when mithrun told kabru that he finally figured out what his final desire was, that it had never been revenge. that once all was said and done, he realized the only thing he wanted was for the demon to finish what it had started. and i love that kabru was the one there to witness mithrun laughing and smiling for the first time in so long after senshi inadvertently comforted him...

mithrun feels comfortable with kabru, in a way he doesn't fully know how to articulate anymore. he's lost his sense of boundaries, but even so, we can see that kabru means something to him. and kabru cares about mithrun--wants to see him live again, no matter what. after his initial impassioned speech, while he remains determined, it takes on a friendlier tone because he's no longer trying to convince mithrun of something; he's just trying to encourage him, and hold him to his promises.

i dunno man. they're fucking amazing. one of these days i'll finish the post-canon oneshot i started about them

[wormlette]

@manglam-marfach UM I JUST. UH. THOSE FUCKING TAGS

#Thank you for saying this. May I add.#I HAVE HAD MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT CHILAIOS VAGINAL FISTING#I think yaoi chilaios gets to do vaginal fisting too I think part of the reason Laios ran away from home before falin left is#Because he is trans & falin cast the magic spell of boy puberty on him and it FUCKING WORKED??#which he didn't expect & they couldn't hide it for too long#so he ran away to the army about it. And later also he did some vaginal fisting.#However this post is about lesbians#Chilchuck could basically crawl up in there right? Arms first.#& when Laios clenches a little Chilchuck realises that no matter how much she's trying to be in control here there's always like.....#Well. If she didn't want to let Chilchuck take her arm away she could prevent that from happening !#Laios could (and should) be completely tied up & even without thinking Laios could STILL prevent Chilchuck from moving freely#Which Chilchuck would get shivery about. And deny.#AND SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT MAKE CHILCHUCK SHIVERY#She would be so fucking angry about Laios's hands. Those long. Blunt. Fingers.#Staring at her hands fully fuming thinking. Just...one finger. Just the one. What would it be like. Just the one. 😵‍💫#Angry like a terrior who can see a treat on the table and knows if she barks about it the treat will be taken away entirely#Chilaios#BUT SHE'S WRONG SHE CAN HAVE THE TREAT SHE CAN GET IT#She can also ride laios's tongue. Has to be said.#Eta i have more to say. What if chilchuck girldick. Thank u for listening.

fem chilaios would be pretty funny. though i guess it's semicanon i don't like the whole mirror "laios would have stayed home and had kids/chilchuck would have stayed home" thing i mostly prefer them just being f! versions of themselves within the established canon plotline.

anyway can a big buff blonde woman fall in love with a rat milf? i want to believe

[prismatoxic]

the wips i need to fucking work on, aka callout post for myself

(names may change if they ever get posted, except for the chapterfics)

Breaking Point - chilbell pre-canon smutfic

Burning Up - chilaios smutfic where chilchuck goes into heat (some of you may remember this one)

Give and Take - chilaios character exploration re: laios folding like a wet napkin if chilchuck touches him bc, reasonably speaking, chilchuck is not strong enough to meaningfully move him

Imposter Syndrome ch. 2 - collab fics take a while ok. that said, we have many awesome new ideas for it, and progress has been made

Insomniac - chilaios drugging somno fic. i'm very fond of it

Just Another Love Song ch. 1 - all humans chilaios modern au. chilchuck is an indie punk singer who inherited his dad's locksmithy when he died and can't find it in himself to ditch it for his real passions. he's divorced and has split custody of the kids, who are still teens. laios is a famous pop star who misses making indie music on youtube. flertom and puckpatti are big fans of his; even so, chilchuck doesn't recognize laios until he's forced to.

Past Mistakes - chilaios + frecklechuck smutfic. frecklechuck is displaced from his own time/iteration of the past by a party member testing illegal magic on him. marcille can get him back, eventually, but chilchuck has a lot of negative feelings to work through about being face-to-face with his more innocent, easily-taken-advantage-of self.

Promises to Keep ch. 11 - you guys know what this one is

Relearning - kabumisu post-canon oneshot, just wanted to explore how they'd come together after everything

unnamed fic - smutty raceswap oneshot, for max. chilchuck and laios manage to stumble into changelings a third time; chilchuck becomes a tall-man again, and laios a half-foot. laios has already been struggling with how chilchuck being his own race made him feel, but now chilchuck is confronted with half-foot laios being exactly his type.

unnamed fic, there's like 2 pages of text for it - chilaios oneshot, i think my intention was for chilchuck to finally snap after being able to tell laios was Into Him for way too long without anything happening

unnamed chapterfic - modern fantasy au ala ptk. the toudens are a powerful political family, and laios needs a new bodyguard. he ends up choosing chilchuck. chilchuck is a sniper

[unkat]

More drabbles on the Chilaios ems au. (please see Psiroller's beautiful Stop Smoking, We Love You!)

Takes place after Chilchuck's bad call and talk with Laios.

Rating: M for content, nothing spicy yet

contains non-graphic discussions of pregnancy complications, death of children, cancer; backstory things

----------

When Chilchuck returns to the station after his long weekend and hike with Laios, the sense of dread he had about losing his job has abated, but his guilt over the meeting and anxiety of how his coworkers might react still lingers. He puts his uniform next to his bunk and hovers in the room as he builds up energy to go back into the main areas.

As he steps back into the living room, the whole crew is piled in front of the TV watching some show; no chairs available for him to join in quietly. His palms sweat as all eyes turn on him, leaving him at the mercy of the jury of his peers. Trapped by his employment contract to interact with the men he hasn't spoken to in days after rolling his eyes and scoffing at them for debriefing a call.

Plenty of reason to cause a scene in a lull between the action.

Laios gives a smile from the far seat on the sofa, looking up from his work phone. Someone else speaks to Chilchuck before Laios can open his mouth.

"I saved you the best seat in the house." Isaiah remarks and pats his lap, making no move to shift. Chilchuck can see Laios tense as he tries to decide if he needs to intervene. But this is something he can handle himself.

He saunters over and drops into his lap, shifting a little until he is comfortable. "Thanks, sweetheart." He winks and the other guys jeer at the two of them. He stretches out, and drops his feet onto Dan and head onto Laios. "You really know how to make a guy feel at home, please don't let me interrupt your show."

Dan snickers and grabs his legs to make sure Chilchuck doesn't fall off. He can see Laios covering his mouth with his hand as his chest shakes and he looks away from the rest of the room. Isaiah plays along, "Anything for you, gorgeous." And he pats his stomach before settling back into his seat. The tension that was in the room before has dissipated and the lull returns as they continue to watch King of the Hill. Chilchuck turns his head to see and his hair flops into his face. Laios tucks it away before he can do anything about it.

They make eye contact before Laios has to look away, grin still trying to get onto his face, not that Chilchuck is any better at this point.

Almost at the end of the program, the radio goes off. "Dispatch to Station 9, house fire at address 589 South Pierre Creek Road. Sounds like a backyard barbeque getting out of hand, and the neighbors want it checked out. No injuries reported."

Dan sighs and keys up his radio, "Station 9 to Dispatch, we copy your call for address 589 South Pierre Creek, we will notify you when we are en route."

Chilchuck lifts his legs vertically to let him get up, and Isaiah uses them as a handle to tip him further back and stand up himself. "Sorry gorgeous, but I need to drive the engine."

Chilchuck flops back onto the couch. "Listen, I do more medical only calls than you, I'm doing my job here!"

It gets a few chortles as they leave to gear up. A few minutes later, Isaiah get on the radio as the sirens start and fade into the distance.

It's only him, Senshi, and Laios still in the room after they are gone. Chilchuck looks up at Laios, still not moving from his position laying in his lap. "Hey. Can I talk to you about something?"

Laios looks down at him. "Sure. Do you want to go to the office?"

Chilchuck shakes his head. "Nah, it's not related to this job. It's something someone told me might be good for me to talk about." He shuts his eyes.

"Back when I first started, I was thinkin' about being an EMT for a couple of years before going to paramedic school."

"But then…is this about you not driving?"

"Shut up. Yeah." Chilchuck chuckles. "My work partner and I had a deal, she wanted to keep going with the EMT driving stuff and I had already crashed the truck twice-- never with a patient in the back, stupid shit like backing into a pylon and getting stuck over the curb. I got banished to the passenger's seat, but it worked for us. Gave me practice doing patient care, writing reports, all that shit."

His brows furrow. "I had only just started working when my wife told me she was pregnant, and we got married. We found out we were having twins and I saved all my PTO, all my sick time, talked about taking a leave of absence with my chief, all that stuff. We had a c-section scheduled for 37 weeks, which is pretty good for twins. Pregnancy was rough for her, and it was tough-- it was a high-risk pregnancy, and they were keeping an eye on their size the whole time."

He waves his hand. "There was something called twin-to-twin transfusion that we kept worrying about. Their placentas were too close, and they started getting connected." He meshes his hands together as an example. "The doc hadn't ever seen it like that before, it's only supposed to happen with identical twins who share the same one. Mei was getting bigger than Fler and the docs kept saying it was just something we had to keep an eye on, something we had to watch, come back in two weeks, my schedule isn't available then, Chil can you take a couple hours off to come with me?"

He sighs.

"I was doin' all sorts of overtime with my partner, offering to stay late a couple extra hours to make up for it. And I had other guys who I went through orientation with who were willing to let me ride along without having to do too much driving. We did nights as first on scene emergency BLS, transported if it was BLS appropriate, waited for the paramedic otherwise."

"We were at 29 weeks with the girls, a month and a half out from being a new dad, when we got a call for active labor in our zone. Dispatch asked me if I wanted off the call, because of my wife, and I said are you fuckin' crazy? This is practice for the real deal, send me in."

The room is quiet. Chilchuck speaks again. "We got on scene, and baby was already on his way out. They had been going for a water birth with a midwife, who called us. We had backup coming, but I radioed that in--if the midwife is calling, that means something went wrong."

Laios brushes his fingers through his hair. "They hadn't cut the cord yet, but he was going blue and wasn't crying. I am the medical guy, so I was the one who suctioned his nose and mouth, turned him upside down and slapped him on the back trying to get him to breathe. Then we bagged him, on oxygen, notified dispatch and the medical director. She said to transport. We were less than ten minutes from the nearest women's hospital and waiting for the paramedic wasn't going to make a difference."

He can't speak and Laios says nothing, continuing to pet his hair. Chilchuck opens his eyes. "I was doin' everything they taught us in school, the stuff we always joked would never happen, two finger CPR and pediatric AED and everything. I didn't know if I did something wrong or not. But I lost pulses quick, and the hospital couldn't get them back."

Laios lets him go quiet. "I'm so sorry."

Chilchuck shakes his head. "Don't be. You didn't even know me."

"No, I mean I wish you didn't have to go through that. I'm feel sad for you."

Chilchuck huffs a laugh. "Thanks."

He exhales, relaxing into Laios. "They had another call while we had a smoke outside the hospital, and asked me if I could take it. My crew chief called after it went out and asked me if I needed to come back to the station instead. I said duty calls, we're on it."

He laughs. "Nobody asked if I needed to talk to anyone, I just want home and went to sleep. Afterwards, I didn't know what to say to my wife about it-- I watched someone else's baby die and now I thought our babies were gonna die? So I sat on it, but I was gonna tell her. Then she went into labor two days later, and I had to leave work."

Laios pauses. "How old were they?"

"Twenty-nine weeks and three days. They were so small, less than half the size of the one from my call. It left my heart in my mouth, holding them in my hands, I thought they were going to stop breathing the whole time. Their lungs weren't fully developed either, they had to be tube fed, and they had vision problems."

He squeezes his eyes shut. "All my planning, my saving of my PTO, it was was for nothing, you know? I took a few days off to stay with my wife, we'd go to the NICU in the morning, stay there until it was time to do home, sleep, and do it again. Then I couldn't handle it anymore."

"I went back to work. We brought women to the hospital all the time, but I never told my wife we were there. I felt like I was gonna contaminate them, and bringing money in made sense when she suddenly wasn't working for an extra month. Mei came home after seven weeks, and Fler after nine. Those two weeks was the worst time, cause she had to go back and forth to the NICU to bring milk to Fler while taking care of Mei."

Laios hums his understanding and encouragement. "Did you get some days off then?"

He opens his eyes again. "I didn't offer to take days off, and she didn't ask. We weren't really talking then."

Laios swallows. "That sounds awful."

Chilchuck laughs. "I don't think she ever forgave me for leaving them like that."

Chilchuck goes quiet, throat bobbing as he swallows, opens his mouth, shuts it again, and shrugs, face flushing in embarrassment. Laios keeps his hand in his hair. "You know, I didn't get into EMS right out of high school. I worked at a mechanic's shop where this side of the county brought their trucks for a couple of years. I'd learned a bit from my dad, fixing our car and tractor, but there was a lot of learning I ended up doing on the job."

He smiles softly. "Nothing like Falin. She was good in school, but really good at biology. You know, she was trying to go to med school and cried when she saw an open heart surgery, not because it was scary but because she thought it was so beautiful?"

He looks down at Chilchuck who nods back, listening. "She came out here to go to school, giving up a position at John Hopkins because she wanted to be closer to me, and make connections at Regional. I'd moved out here as soon as I graduated, bought and slept in my car for a couple of months before I could get a job and afford an apartment. I don't regret it, but it was pretty stupid."

He laughs looking to the side, almost wistful. "When she was getting bloodwork done, as a part of her yearly school physical, they found that she had really high, like really high white blood cell counts along with abnormal weight loss. She called me at work and said she had just started an oncology seminar and these were cancer symptoms, that she might have some kind of blood cancer."

"She was so proud of herself for the self-diagnosis, and I was the one freaking out on company time. So, I told my boss it was a family emergency and left. While I was there, I saw the same trucks we would get in the shop at the hospital. It planted the idea in me, you know, that I could do a job I liked rather than one that just put a roof over my head. And maybe I could get some kind of insurance for Falin and I."

He smiles. "So I enrolled in community college EMT classes, got a student loan, and struggled my way through all the classroom bullshit, until I could get on the road. Everything got a lot easier after that for me, but Falin had to take a medical leave halfway through the semester because she was too sick to do her studies. She stayed with me at first, and I would drive her to her appointments and take care of things around the house. Until we went to one of her chemotherapy appointments, and they said she should stay for a couple of nights, to monitor bloodwork. She didn't stay at home much after that."

Chilchuck carefully grabs Laios' hand from its spot tangled in his hair and squeezes it. Laios squeezes back. "That's when I got my job, pretty much. I got my national license and kept pushing ahead, claimed Falin as a dependent on my insurance plan, and worked. I was doing the same thing you were. Bringing people to Regional, thinking I would go see my sister, and realizing I just didn't get the time, and after a point, I wasn't allowed in the same room as her, especially during a shift. Her immune system was too weak, and I was exposed to too many sick people."

Laios rubs his thumb against Chilchuck’s, more of a nervous tick than intentional contact. Chilchuck lets him, opening his mouth to speak.

"She's doin’ better now. What changed?" Laios squeezes his hand.

"She needed a stem cell transplant."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. Uh. It's a part of what brought Marcille out here. I saw her on Falin's facebook and saw she worked at a cancer research lab, and I emailed her. We talked."

"And you helped her?"

"Sorta. I was the donor for Falin. Marcille kept talking about our HLAs, protein testing, immunity, medications, experimental therapies. It started going over my head, and she had these medical journals as sources that were. Just. I didn't get it, even when she tried to make it easier. All I cared about was if she could help, what they needed from me. She's amazing, Marcille-- she got Falin and I into clinical trials and took over talking to the oncology team. I don't know what we would have done without her."

Laios gaze wanders off to one of the corners of the room and he goes quiet, the smile having drifted away, replaced by a furrow between his brows. Chilchuck lifts and drops his head back into his thigh. "It all worked out?"

Laios looks back at him and the corners of his mouth perk back up. "Yeah, she's doing better now. And with Marcille here, I don't even hear if there are any problems because she is right there with Falin, and they take care of it. Falin moved in with her after she recovered. Marcille lived closer to the medical school and they were always really close."

"That's good."

"Mhm." Laios lets a moment pass. "I still was worried for a while afterwards. I ended up using the EAP too after Senshi said it might be a good idea to talk to someone about it. I was having dreams and waking up freaking out that she wasn't there, calling her and Marcille way too much. Things are a lot better now."

Chilchuck is the one to squeeze his hand. Laios' smile grows and he squeezes back. "Things work out. They have to."

Chilchuck gives an affirmative hum in response. They should probably move and work on other things, but there is an ease in tension that Chilchuck never realized he had carried into the station, had been carrying for many years alone and coiled in his chest.

He closes his eyes, and Laios does not ask him to move, does not try to slide away, does not untangle their hands. Chilchuck can feel his breath, a silent fond laugh, against his face and can't help it when the corners of his own mouth twitch upwards.

Glossary *BLS=Basic Life Support. Referring to training that is for Emergency Medical Technicians only. BLS trucks have x2 EMTs and no paramedics. *CPR and AED= cardiopulmonary resuscitation and automated external defibrillator. Used when someone's heart has stopped. *NICU= Neonatal Intensive Care Unit *EAP= Employee Assistance Program. usually provides some sort of counseling/mental health coverage.