#angst lok

[awakefor48hours]

Fun fact about the Avatar universe that I don’t see touched on often: Fire Lord Sozin made gay marriage illegal, meaning that gay marriage was illegal all throughout the original ATLA story

Source: The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars part 1

[beifong-brainrot]

The more I think about it, the more I think Bolin could easily embody that "human treated as a weapon/tool, who also believes that of themselves" tropes.

Like, it is not a stretch to say that Bolin has been "used" at least three times by antagonists of the show. By Kuvira, for his unique bending abilities and his good reputation, by Varrick for his looks, charisma and popularitu and by Eska for physical labour and her... um... you know I think I'll need to make another long post about Eska's weirdly intense attachment to Bolin.

In these relationships there is an onbious pattern, Bolin letting a more assertive/experienced person take the lead and order him around. Even when he's hurt or humiliated or frightened, he keeps his head down and does what is required of him until some big event (usually only vagely related to his current predicament ) allows him to "break free".

But without a decisive push, Bolin often appears unable or extremely unwilling to disobey the people he views as currently 'in control of him'. Often he's manipulated or pushed into something he's uncomfortable with, or explicity doesn't want to do, even hurting those he cares about.

Sometimes I wonder if even Bolin subconsciously sees himself as just a tool for others to wield and command. That it's easier to let others take charge than to think for himself, than to deal with the responsibility of governing himself. A responsibility he was never taught to handle.

This, as most analysis of Bolin ties back to his traumatic childhood and his codependent relationship with Mako.

Bolin grew up following Mako's lead. He never got to peel off from Mako, never got to slowly build up his independence, as children in more stable environments do. Because seperation from his brother would usually mean danger.

Hell, Mako often acts like a strict parent, since he had to step up to the role. However, often Mako tends to disregard Bolin's own agency and preferences in favour of Bolin's physical safety. Which isn't a bad thing, and Mako was doing as best he could, however this does obviously lead to Bolin being a little stunted in the decisionmaking department.

Bolin lacks agency, as a person. He relies on others leading him. One of the reasons him and Korra get along so well. She's headstrong and decisive and can easily direct him. This is probably why he also gravitated to Kuvira after Korra became incapacitated. He even explained to Mako that "Kuvira is basically just like Korra".

Bolin likes to be given a purpose and that purpose is given to hin by other people. You can see how lost he is when left to his own devices. I mean, Mako left him alone for like 2 days in B2 and Bolin immediately glued himself to Varrick like an abandoned baby koala. And the only times he was able to stand up to Mako, someone who often guides him, is when Bolin is, let's say, "wielded" by someone else (Varrick or Kuvira respectively). It's also fucking painful that whenever Bolin does branch off from Mako, he's always slapped back down, because the person who lead him "astray" turned out to be a villain.

Especially between seasons, and post B4 when team Avatar isn't together, isn't actively driven to do something, Bolin gets lost.

He's aimless in times of peace. He bounces from career to career, unable to focus on anything, because he's so used to tob being directed to fight, to literally survive. It's also important to note that he started training under Toza when he was like 13, no wonder all he can do is combat.

This, coupled with his lavabending being one of Bolin's most prominent skills (also note that lavabending is the only discipline of earthbending we've seen that can't easily be translated into building or art. Lavabending is pure destruction, at least in the form we're shown.).

Korra has her Avatar status, wisdom gained through adversity and her determination. Asami has her company, her ingenuity and drive. Mako has his detective work, and deductive skills. Bolin's just a good fighter and occasionally lifting the mood.

How is he meant to exist in times of peace?

Even though he is clearly uncomfortable with conflict.

Does Bolin have any interests? Things he likes to do other than eat? Other than perform and contort himself for other people to like him?

I thought the mind control plot from Rote could've started an arc of Bolin realising he can be more than a pawn or a tool, but alas, the comic was dissapointing on many fronts, including this one.

I know Bolin is supposed to be the imamture comic relief character, but he's very compelling and multifaceted to me. He has a lot of potential to be a groundbreaking character, however it doesn't seem like the creators are going that way. So um. That sucks.

Also this whole thought process came to me from listening to She was a bird, I was an arrow and thinking of weilin so that's the context of this analysis lol.

I'm gonna need to clear these thoughts up after a while, but hey, enjoy the silly Bolin rambles

[nerdycanible1]

Heyo! Anyone want some Lin Fanart? :D

Here you go!

I'd like to think this is right after Suyin hurt her and Lin may or may be blinded 👀💧

I'm not exactly good with expressions but I wanted to show Lin in both pain but also the anger and hate in her eyes.

All art belongs to me. If reposted plz credit!

Accidentally written a little one shot that's horrible. I meant to take a nap but just sat in my living room typing this and munching on food!

Enjoy- tho I doubt it'll be good 💀

Suyin would undoubtedly be upset she hurt her sister, but wouldn't be prepared to see this expression. An expression she's never seen on Lin before and is possibly ingrained in her mind forever.

Suyin would go to help Lin but Lin would refuse to let Suyin any closer and literally build a wall preventing Suyin from getting close.

Toph shows up and asking what happened, comforts Suyin upon feeling the little ones erratic heart beating all before Suyin tells her mother she's sorry and that Lin's hurt.

Toph goes to see what happens and all she hears is Lin barking at the healer to just do what they can and a slam of a door closing. Toph could sense something is wrong with Lin and can tell she'd faint at any moment if she don't step in only for Lin to hold her hand up at her mother and tells her, "Not now."

Before Toph could say anything Lin tosses her metal coils down on the ground and telling Toph that they'd need to be upgraded and that it's best for everyone in the facility to get them reworked.

Lin's face begins to swell up, the blood is trickling onto the ground and the healer helplessly following Lin around as she's barking orders but is starting to sway and almost faint.

Toph ends up freezing Lin in her place with her metal armor just to help the poor healer out and demands Lin to tell her what happened.

Lin straining too much and only just begins to fall to her knees as she can't fight against her mother in the state she's in, her heart aches, her face feels in agony and she feels ready to fall asleep.

The next thing she knows, she wakes up in a dimly lit room. She could smell the incense and the sandal wood and the light smell of spring in the air. She could hear yelling down the hallway between her aunt and mother, Suyin screaming that it was Lin's fault and of course the numbing pain on Lin's face.

She knew what happened and knew how bad the wound was. She didn't need a healer to tell her how bad the wound was because she felt it, could already sense her other senses strengthening.

With a sigh the metalbender slowly turned her head which made the blood in her head pump and practically caused her brain to ache as she tried to look out the window.

It took too long for Lin to focus and could see the sun had set a bit ago. She'd sit up and leave if she could but just the thought of it hurt Lin's head and she didn't want to go through that pain.

"We don't arrest family!!"

"And look what happened! Agni Toph, Lin got hurt and Suyin's in shambles! I'm not asking you to arrest Suyin I'm just asking you to help her. Ground her! She needs a mother Toph, not an absent one!"

"If I need any advice from you I'd ask! It's just a scratch, Beifong's don't get hurt!-"

"Mom?-"

"-And what do you know about raising kids Sugar Queen? Your two oldest couldn't wait to leave you and where are they now?!"

"-Aunt Katara?-"

"-That's not fair and you know it! They're grown up! Let them do as they and ex- you know what? Forget it! Since you're blind to see what's in front of you I'll tell you! Lin hates you and you don't know why! You're so concerned about your job, about your name, about your position, about metalbending that you forgot what's important!"

"And what's so important huh?!"

"That Lin is important too!"

The silence is what stung Lin the most. Maybe it was the hesitance or maybe the fact that her mother took a whole 10 seconds to finally respond. It was enough for Lin to realize her mother never saw Lin on any level of importance in a very long time.

"So what. She's a big girl, she doesn't need me. She didn't need me when she started tying her shoes, she don't need me now."

Lin sighed felt tears prickle in her eye before quietly crawling out of bed and out the window. She made her way down to the beach and sat down mauling over her aunt and mother's words.

Maybe her mother was right. Maybe Lin was the first to start pushing everyone away. Maybe she forgot what family was. It would make sense why her mother and younger sister were close and how she wasn't. Maybe Lin stopped being apart of the family once she realized she was nowhere near the same as them. When she was the one ruining their fun and becoming a "party pooper."

And even if that was true, even if it were very much apparent, it didn't hurt any less. People used to tell her how much her mother and her were alike. Nicknaming her Little Toph or Tiny Beifong. That she was going to be just like her mother and become a great metalbender.

She thought that since she looked like her mother, became an officer like her mother, bent the same stones as her mother, that she and her would share a bond. A bond that no one would understand but them.

It hurt her once Suyin was born, it was like Toph and her clicked right away and suddenly Lin wasn't Little Toph anymore. She became Miss cranky pants or miss you're-not-Suyin's-mom. She was no longer little Chief but an annoyance to her and her mother. A nag that ruined the fun.

The more people saw Suyin and Toph together the more they said Suyin was exactly like her. Rough, abrasive, strong, stubborn and a powerful metalbender.

A metalbender. Lin just realized why her mother favored Suyin over her. It was because Suyin was a great metalbender. Maybe that's why she loved Suyin more than her.

Lin ran her fingers through the coarse sand and stared up at the moon. Was she always this different? Was she ever in the spotlight to begin with? Lin didn't know but she knew she'd have to accept that she'll never be good enough. Even as she thought these things, Toph was probably taking care of Suyin because she was upset.

Maybe one day Lin would be a true Beifong and everything will be fixed. One day where she was just liked her mother and sister and they could be happy. One day where she didn't become a buzz kill.

Maybe one day she'll be a great metalbender that was worth her mother's time. She just hoped it was soon rather than later. She didn't want to be the only one left behind.

[kilo-charlie7]

Some chats about Lin in discord led to this angsty sketch. We were discussing how if an officer was ever KIA, Lin would’ve visited the family herself to share the news. I immediately pictured Lin handing back a badge to that officer’s wife. 😩

[lady-tortilla-chip]

I am not an LOK truther but am having thoughts about Zuko meeting Korra and being disappointed to see there is not a single reflection of Aang in her

[operationbeifong]

𝐋𝐈𝐍 + 𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐇 | "𝑨𝑵𝑨𝑻𝑶𝑴𝒀 " 𝒃𝒚 𝑲𝑬𝑵𝒁𝑰𝑬 𝒁𝑰𝑬𝑮𝑳𝑬𝑹.

BAWLING MY EYE BALLS OUT AFTER MAKING THIS.

[badgermolebender]

A day in the life of Wu of the Hou-Ting Dynasty, King of all the Earth Lands, and Glorious Defender of Ba Sing Se, 54th Earth Monarch

Morning

* Wake up

* Get out of bed

* Get out of bed

* Come on, you really have to get out of bed now, you have responsibilities

* Get out of bed

* Breakfast - look over the day’s meeting schedule

* Read over reports from yesterday

* Consider writing Mako, he still hasn’t responded to your last letter

* Attend first meeting, with transportation ministers, discuss the new trains constructed by Kuvira and the funding needed to maintain the system

* Try not to freak out at the mention of Kuvira and the war, succeed — mostly

* Wish Mako was there, you could really use some of his straight-talking, no-nonsense comfort, he doesn’t need to put up with you, he doesn’t need your problems

* Attend second meeting, with financial ministers, argue with them over the new tax structure

* The next time one of them implies you are too young or inexperienced to know what you are doing you are going to scream

* NO! that’s what Auntie would do, you are not Auntie, you won’t let yourself be

* Succeed — for now

Midday

* Lunch - breathe, you can get through the rest of the day

* Consider writing to Mako, the worst thing that happens is he doesn’t respond, it’s not like he isn’t already annoyed with you

* Attend last meeting of the day, with cultural ministers, try once again to convince them to use their funds for a memorial for the victims of Lake Laogai rather than finishing The Earth Queen’s Temple, that it would be good to commemorate the history of the people not just the Royals

* Make no progress, argue them to a standstill

* Consider introducing legislation to undo centuries of discrimination against same-sex relationships

* Your ministers/the aristocracy/the remaining Dai Li would know, they would know

* They’d go after you, your reign, your life

* Decide to start small, tomorrow

Evening

* Dinner - try not to cry staring at the empty table

* Wish that your parents were alive

* Wish that any of your family were alive, so you weren’t king, so you didn’t have to do this, so you weren’t alone

* Feel guilty for thinking this, you��re doing good work, you know you are

* Read over reports from the day

* Wish you could run away to The Cave of the Two Lovers and live with the badgermoles

* Make notes for tomorrow’s meetings

* Consider writing to Mako, he hasn’t written back because he hates you

* He’s always hated you

* He’s always going to hate you

Night

* Go to bed

* Wish you weren’t so alone

* Wish he didn’t hate you

* Wish he could love you the way you love him

* Try not to cry yourself to sleep

* Fail

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

LoK Edit animated: Rangi finds Kyoshi's spirit in the Spirit World

(Based on my Immortal!Rangi AU, I know I said "make it a gif" but y'all are getting the vid instead.....I'll upload a gif later >w>)

[malereadermaniac]

Bloodbender ~ Male Reader

Story driven fic with a small amount of avatar Wan x Gn Reader Image from @/jde.aep on tiktok!

Cw: war, death, blood bending, graphic detail of injury? word count: 2.3k

War is hard on everyone. After the closing of the spirit portals, Avatar Wan was trying his best to bring all people together - no matter their bending types. Inevitably, those who were benders of air banded together, those of fire had done the same, and the pattern carried on with water and earth. And while peace did last for a while - Avatar Wan's guidance helping everyone settle into their own nations and tribes in certain areas - the selfish and gluttonous nature of humans rid the world of peace very quickly.

You had met Wan during his early days as "The Avatar" as he is now known. He'd met you in the spirit wilds, a lonely water bender that was exiled from their lionturtle. The two of you clicked quickly, relating and sympathising with one another about your respective exiles - and so, you both decided to venture together. You had no goal in your life, wandering the wilds and befriending the spirits was as far as your achievements in life had ever gone, so you were happy to join the Avatar in his quest to defeat Vaatu. Spending many nights together, along with the few spirits which had either resisted corruption or had been saved by you and your spiritual water bending, allowed Wan and you to bond more and more. You two sympathised with one another over hard times and took care of one another after particularly difficult fights, your healing water bending skills coming in handy after hard battles. Of course, it was inevitable for Wan to find out about the reasoning for your exile due to your frowned upon skills; however, the Avatar felt anything but judgment towards you. He claimed that with how dangerous the world was, we as benders have to develop our skills in as many ways as we can, so who was he to judge you for simply mastering your craft. Your mastery of skills in waterbending had also helped Wan many a time - whether that be via your artfully created attacks and new skills, your healing or spirit bending, and of course, your affinity for bloodbending on a full moon. After spending many nights and days together, your relationship with Wan had even prospered further than a friendship; the two of you never being so in sync.

So, it made sense that you became Wan's right-hand after his successful sealing of Vaatu. For the first few years, you and the Avatar helped guide and create a new world of benders and non-benders without many bumps in the road - your relationship with Wan strengthening with every village you visited and helped build up and with every battle the two of you shared. However, as the two of you grew into fine leaders, the greed and feelings of superiority grew within certain people in their respective nations. You don't even know how it started, not a single clue on which nation or tribe attacked first, but within a few weeks, war ravished and desecrated lands. The Avatar did his best to help settle disputes and fights with your help, some being harder than others; the battle scars covering Wan's body being proof of that - but while the two of you may have been successful in some areas, war was still thriving in other areas of the world you both worked hard to build. After many years of small wars taking place, and land being stolen from one nation and then taken by another, certain benders of different elements banded together at one point, growing in numbers and building an army; and said group began invading and taking over neighbouring nations. Wan and you had sprang into action almost immediately, helping nearby nations that had weaker or smaller defences - however, you both could only do so much.

The Avatar and you, as well as some other of your appointed leaders, had tried to predict where this newly founded nation would attack next. And so, you all made your way to the early fire nation. Wan explained his plan to predict and outsmart the oncoming army to the firelord, who understood immediately and gave his army to you to lead. Luckily, just as predicted, a massive army had turned up at the fire nation's docks; but you were prepared, even if your army was almost half the size of theirs... As the sun was shining above both armies tension grew thicker with anxiety trickling through, as while Wan and you were confident in your makeshift army of mainly firebenders, you were most certainly outnumbered - but you had the sun to strengthen the firebenders, you'd be fine, right?

The sun was making its way across the sky, near to setting, the sky turning a stunning shade of pink. Contrastingly, the ground below the celestial body was starting to turn into darkening shades of crimson and maroon. While your army was certainly holding its ground, benders skillfully wielding the elements and non-benders well trained in using swords and bow n' arrows, you were no match for the opposing army. For every troop of the opposing army that was shot down on sliced to the ground, 3 of yours were brutally killed. Wan had been mainly holding down the Fort, masterfully bending earth to protect other warriors and firebending on the attack; you were also doing your best to protect Wan and as many troops as you could whilst fighting. Luckily, not only was the battle somewhat near the docks that were full of water, but the field of battle was full of grass and flowers and trees - so you had plenty of water at your disposal to shield yourself and others while using your own techniques to attack. You had drawn the water out of the grass below ten opposing soldiers and trapped them in a solid block of ice. You'd created slopes for Wan to slide off of to get the high ground. You desperately healed injured soldiers in while getting fired at, creating a cloud of steam in aims to hide yourself and the injured warriors. But unfortunately, while your efforts and Wan's were definitely notable, bodies were dropping like flies - good men and women gruesomely killed while the opposition had barely felt the effects of your attacks.

The sun was now setting, the light of the sky fading, as so was the power of your remaining firebenders. Bodies of soldiers from both armies littered the ground, your numbers dwindling even further as the few members of your army left fought desperately alongside Wan and you. Desperately clinging towards any hope he could, Wan ordered you all to split up into groups - each group containing a water or earth bender to help protect the remaining soldiers. And, while his plan mainly worked, the attacks from the invading nation were ruthless, more and more people were dying - the attackers not even thinking of the invasion anymore, simply driven by bloodlust. With almost all of your group left lifeless, you desperately hide around the docks with the two other troops left in your section. The screams of your army either falling on deaf ears or further traumatising you and your troops - you couldn't exactly tell which one of those it quite was.

'Just half an hour more... I just need half an hour, and then the full moon will be up' you think to yourself, desperately racking your brain to think up a plan to not even defeat but to merely ward off the invaders. As time passes, the field becomes more and more quiet; that is, until Wan's voice shatters the depressing silence. It wasn't a battle cry or some sort of declaration from the Avatar, but rather a pained scream - such a blood curdling scream that you couldn't sit still. Standing up, you let instinct take over your body - a mix of adrenaline and dopamine driving your body to work mindlessly. Before you knew it, you had leapt into the sea by the docks of the fire nation, and with the full moon finally showing its beautiful glowing self, you could feel your bending instantly build up in strength. The commander of the invading army had his attention snapped from crushing Wan's leg with a boulder via his earthbending, his gaze being drawn to you - a simple waterbender, about 70 feet in the air being held up by a violent vortex of water, with the silver shining full moon behind you and one hell of a look on your face. Onslaughts of high-pressure attacks of water rained down on the opposing army, spouts of water with ice shards within shot down some soldiers while others were taken down by their bodies getting inexplicably paralysed - their bodies becoming colder by the second until their turn into human icecubes, a skill you perfected on the last full moon. However, you attacks alone didn't stop the commander and his army, the wretched man earthbending a giant hill and Imprisoning Wan within it; his troops still attacking what was left of your army and shooting arrows up at you. So, you had to take things further. It pained you mock the deaths of your fellow troops, good people who had the bravery to fight for their nation now dead. However, you'd hope that they would understand your desperation. With the power of the full moon shining above you, its celestial and spiritual connection to the waves and its benders allowing for your bending to strengthen wildly, you performed an act of bloodbending you had never even attempted beforehand; Necrobending.

Folklore and tales of horror told to children tell of bodies coming back to life, spirits toying with humans to play with their emotions, and fear being something spirits are fascinated by. However, from the bloody horror screams that erupted from the opposing army, this was no mere folktale. You felt your body extend through your chi as it spreads. You had felt a feeling similar to this when bloodbending. However, never to this extent, it was as if your consciousness had multiplied by hundreds, being able to feel limbs that don't belong to you and being able to control them with such incredible ease. And what elicited such a terrified reaction from the invaders was surely a sight to behold - soldiers, killed by their own hand, people they knew for sure were dead, rising from the ground as if nothing was wrong. Every single fallen soldier had risen up once more, disfigured in their nature with pain evident on their faces - however, their bodies still going. Like some horrific conductor, you move your hands gently in rhythm with the moon, the waves, the pace of a heartbeat, and bend the bodies of the fallen to fight once more. The sight was graphic, fatally injured soldiers attacking with full might - some of them with vital organs hanging out of their unseemed stomachs, others who were crying blood and some with torn off and crushed limbs. However, no matter how many times the opposing soldiers fought back against your undead army, it was no use. Dead men can't die once more. The bodies of your fallen army disfigure further throughout their fighting, their bodies almost liquidating from the continual attacks on their flesh, the wounds not affecting their attacks - it was a sight straight from a nightmare. The sounds of screams adorned the roaring sound of the vortex below you spinning to hold you up, the moon glowing on such a grim sight as the invading army dwindles down to only a mere hundred soldiers. The commander of the army was long dead, six of your bloody puppets having torn into his body live, his screams falling on deaf ears as his well-deserved pain imprinted on his brain for the last few moments of his life.

The dazzling moon was beginning to hide away once more, your overwhelming power very slowly starting to fade - however, the battle had been won. With the commander dead, the rest of the invading army was left tired and with no more will to continue fighting; and so, they gave themselves up. The one earthbender amongst the 20 men and women brought Wan down from his makeshift prison, and one by one, each troop gave themselves up to being taken to prison in the fire nation. Having watched your impeccable display of skill and intelligence, Wan had never been more mesmerised - he couldn't tell if it was terror or infatuation, but he admired what you just did. The Avatar watched as you laid the fallen back down softly, paying what little respect you could to their bodies, whispering an apology as you lowered yourself back down to the ground. With the shining moon almost fully set, the sun was starting to show itself once more, the two bodies displaying their eternal dance in the sky; celebrating the end of the battle in a bittersweet way. The atmosphere was finally calm again, but from what you had just gone through, your mind had gone blank for almost the entire day, but Wan made sure to fill you in. The fire lord appreciated your help, of course remorseful of the many lost lives, but still appreciative; you did just save his nation from being fully invaded and taken over. A mass funeral ceremony had been held for those who had lost their lives and the Avatar and you were commemorated by the fire lord. However, the war isn't over. That fight had only been won due to chance - the full moon doesn't shine every night of the cycle. Many more battles were to come, and we all unfortunately know how they end.

[hotpinkrathian]

I will never get over the Suyin playing cupid trope and if you can't either than you should go read chapter 11 of A United Front

Still not convinced here's an excerpt of Lin and Kya rizzing each other up

I've posted about 1/2 of the complete story on AO3 now and I think yall deserve a special shout out your comments and theories are so inspiring and I hope I can post the rest of it soon. I'm up to 90K words now and I PROMISE those of you waiting for angst, it is coming.

But for now, enjoy these two awkward gays trying to flirt with each other

“Lin call me crazy but I think you enjoyed yourself, even if you did slip a bit of work in at the end.” 

“Having someone to fight other than my sister helped.” Lin said plainly. 

“I see,” Kya said, “so in summary, you like having me around.” 

Lin watched her family walk inside, busied by their own chatter and reflections of the evening. Suyin offered pointers and Bataar offered his excitement and encouragement. 

When they were inside, she turned back to Kya, who was watching her a little too intently. 

The sky had darkened significantly, Lin hadn't noticed before, but the stars were out. The sky wasn't quite black, but rather a stark shade of navy. The moon was almost full, a few more days and the fox-wolves would be audible from inside the dome. 

“Maybe I do,” Lin replied. “Would that be so bad?”

Kya seemed surprised, looking from Lin, to the house, to the sky before her eyes landed back on her. 

Lin's stomach tumulted in nervousness, or excitement, or both. 

You're not exactly subtle. 

Suyin was right, she wasn't subtle. She never had been. When she was angry she made it obvious. When she was frustrated she was expressive. She had held a grudge for twenty years because of how un-subtle she was. 

“Not at all,” Kya answered, her eyes darting back and forth with nervousness. 

There was a knock on the glass, so Lin looked to see her niece waving her over. 

“That can't be good,” Lin said, looking back to Kya. 

“Always the pessimist.” Kya laughed, brushing past her. Her shoulder nearly made Lin stumble with the impact. Kya's face turned at just the right angle that Lin could see a grin form when she thought Lin couldn't see. 

Lin sighed contently before following the others inside. 

She watched Kya in front of her, hoping the waterbender wouldn't turn around and catch her smile. 

[hollowfyshunsuikubo]

The Midnight Flame

A/N: More soulmate au i literally love this concept sm Izuru is one of my favourite Bleach characters, and I’ve been playing around with writing this in my spare time. This one is set pre-tybw but post fullbringer arc. I used the soul tug concept for this one, where the first touch between soulmates loosens the tug completely. Though, if your soulmate is having a hard time in any way, it can cause you pain. Only a little angst in this one >:) reader is both depressed and enraged so good luck. Once again, not Beta read

Izuru Kira x gn!reader Word count: 6.4k Warnings: angst, nsfw smut, bad language AU: Soulmates

Morning. The sunlight through the windows, the feel of a blanket covering only his legs. Morning. The arrival of another day, going to waste. Sitting up, Kira looks at his hands. Hardened from years of being a shinigami. He inspected them, turning them over, holding them up to the light that caused him to squint, searching for something that was both never and always there.

A hand reached up to grab one of his, followed by the interlocking of fingers. His heart jumped as he looked to the right, hoping, praying, needing- 

And there was nothing. He was alone in his bed, as always. It got cold at night, but it was warm in the mornings. With a sigh, he got out of bed, and got ready for the day. His captain was… interesting, to say the least. A music man. He was so different from Gin, like fire and water. Gin was unpredictable, he came and went as he pleased, often leaving some form of destruction in his wake. He raged through the Gotei 13, laughing as he did. His betrayal burned, and left its scars. Third degrees ran up over Kira’s arms, his torso, his legs. It felt like the fire of it was behind his eyes. When he thought of Gin, he thought of fire, he thought of how it felt to be burning without any water to douse the flames. Captain Otorobashi was different. He was like water. He filled the spaces he entered with ease, and even when he left, droplets of his kind words or generous music remained. He flowed with what needed to be done, and he left no space untouched. Captain Otorobashi was a calming presence, one that soothed the burns that covered Kira day after day, and finally put out the fires that had enveloped his skin. 

But with water came caution. Fire, at least, was direct with its deadliness. Water lulled you into a false sense of security, then drowned you as soon as you got too comfortable. Water could fill your lungs and take away your ability to scream, to speak. Water filled up any and all spaced, and could very well kill any and all within them. Kira had been burned before, and even if the flames had been cooled with sweet water, there was no telling if he’d drown. 

Morning. Kira walked out of his room and greeted his squadmates. Morning. Morning. Morning. Each day was the same. Morning meetings with his Captain, who would be strumming on a guitar or reading one of those manga he enjoyed. Then training, then requests, then paperwork until sundown, then to bed. Each day is more repetitive than the last, no change in scenery, no chance to unwind at the end of the night with something other than a bottle of sake and his right hand. The same hand he thought they had grabbed, whoever they were. He would love to change his days with the feeling of someone beside him, lounging in his bed when he went back to his room, smiling and waiting for him. He would love to wake up beside someone, kisses turning into wandering hands, wandering hands that turned into being late and disheveled for his morning meeting with Captain Otorobashi. He would love to finally see his soulmate. 

As he approached his Captain's office, he focused in on his heart. He felt the same familiar tug, that ever present feeling of being pulled somewhere. In a moment of hesitation, Kira paused in front of his Captains office. A lump rose in his throat, choking him as he wondered where his other half was.

–

“This could have been an afternoon job,” You groan as Shuhei drops a large stack of files on your desk. He shakes his head and tosses you a pen.

“This could be an afternoon job, but it might take all day, so it’s an all day job for you.” Shuhei was never one to beat around the bush with you. It was like talking to a printer. The same words, over and over again, hell-bent on forcing you to forget the incessant tugging you constantly felt in your heart, and the fact that you often found yourself staring out the window, hoping that your obviously internally tortured soulmate was at least doing okay. It was a painful tug, one that made your heart ache. Some days, it was so bad you couldn’t work, which brought no end of shame to Captain Muguruma and Lieutenant Hisagi. It’s not like you liked it either, as you’ve tried saying so many times. But neither of them are too impressed with you.

Recently, it’s like you’re being punished for things you can't readily control. Cramps had you taken out, despite the fact you were more than willing to throw yourself into whatever training was being offered by Captain Muguruma. Anything was better than missing another day because of some stupid pain. You were denied. You threw a plate in response. 

After that, during a particularly bad day, after an apparently horrendous captains meeting, the tugging on your heart had wrenched so bad it caused you to vomit, while also praying your soulmate wasn’t a captain, least of all your captain, since some of the tugs in your heart seemed to line up with his foul moods. You didn't really think it was though. What kind of soulmate literally throws you into your room and slams the door, leaving you to choke?

Whoever your soulmate was, they were causing no end to the grief you were going through. The paperwork on your desk was looking extremely flammable. Fire seemed to be the only way you were going to calm down, since you burned with rage over just how standoffish, stubborn, and stoic your squadmates were. You were fed up. But you still took the work that you correctly deemed an afternoon job, and first thing in the morning, started your pity paperwork with a scowl.

One day, you’d meet your soulmate and be able to quell the furious tugging on your heart that sometimes left you incapacitated. One day you’d be able to sit down and do pity paperwork so fast, Captain Muguruma would have no choice but to sing your praises.

One day, you'd be appreciated for the fact that you still work hard, despite the challenges you face. 

–

The nights were almost worse than the mornings. Sweat dripped down his face as he hunched over himself, holding his dick in his hand, stroking, squeezing slightly every now and then, his eyes fluttering. So often his heart hurt at night, and so often did he engage in guilty pleasures he should be saving for his soulmate. It brought him no end of guilt. He threw his head back as he began to move faster, his cock bobbing in his hands as he chased his release. He was filled with images he couldn’t even see clearly- hints of skin, another's hand, another's mouth, another's hole-

Kira gasped and groaned as he spilled over his fist, slowing his stroke to nothing. His mind was a mess, and once again, the clarity that came after hit him like a brick. 

What was he doing? He could be making good use of his time, getting sleep, resting his mind, being awake enough to maybe search for his soulmate, and yet. He was awake so late, hand on his cock, a weak and pale imitation of someone who would bring him joy that surpassed an orgasm beyond belief. Face burning in shame- that fire again -he cleaned off his hand before laying down. Fire was what burned him in the first place. That traitor, the man he trusted most, the man who, like a flame, had swept across him and teased him, teased him, about who the other half of his soul was. Who showed him what it was to be strong like the flame and burn so brightly even the sun would be jealous. 

He found a simple answer while reliving such a betrayal. He was afraid of having what he wanted. He was afraid of the fire of whoever matched his soul because of the burns that would follow. It was the reason he only kept Shuhei close, the reason he stayed an arms length away from everyone else, including his captain. His captain, who, like water, would soothe his burns, put out his flame, and carry him to safety if he wished. Yet water killed too, just slower. Kira lay on his back, a hand behind his head, and focused on the tug in his heart. He wondered if everyone had to go searching for that tug. Maybe his soulmate just had a simple life, without much fear or stress. Maybe his soulmate's heart was a closed book, better at hiding its anger and fear than he was. 

The last thought hurt his heart. He had gone through so much- he only wished that his soulmate was alright, and that whenever they searched for their connection, their tug, that they were not angry with what they found.

–

If it were possible to be enraged at a person you’d never met, seen, spoken to, or even knew at all, you decided you were rightfully pissed at your soulmate, whoever the bastard was. Your chest felt like it was being torn open, and you hid in the gardens of your squad. You were on a late night patrol, and things were going fine.

Until.

Until whoever your soulmate was decided to have a miserable time of things. You gagged as you curled up into a ball, hiding behind a large tree. You wouldn’t be seen like this. You hated it. If you could’ve made any wish at that moment, it would be to close off the connection between your souls, if even for two minutes, just so you could at least run to your room to have privacy. With what little strength you had, You attempted to stand. Tears pricked your eyes from the sheer pain, and you felt your dinner threaten to come up.

Then a hand grasped your arm.

“You look like shit,” Shuhei said bluntly. “Why are you still out here? Go home.” With a glaring side eye, you wrenched your arm out of his grasp, stumbling back a little. He must’ve heard the gagging, or just his damned sixth sense that told him where you were at all times. He must truly despise you to keep tabs on you like this. To always know when to send you home just so he can dock your pay, save the division a little more money. It made you want to howl. It made you want to feel blood between your teeth and your zanpakuto clenched so tightly in your hands that the sheer force of your grip left bruises.

“Fuck off. I’m fine.” You spat in response. The aching in your chest only got worse. Shuhei didn’t move.

–

He was at a crossroads. He could pick you up and haul you back to your room in the barracks and force you to stay in, he could stay with you and attempt to help you ride out the waves of this pain that seemed to cause you physical harm, or he could… leave. Shuhei could listen and leave. Listen and leave, easy as that. Something not even Muguruma did. He just grunted and sent you away. Left all the work to him, and let Mashiro annoy the shit out of him while he was working…

He couldn’t leave you. You were his subordinate, and you were in pain. It seemed like you were made of pain. It hurt him, but not as much as it hurt you. You were a diligent person, and you tried so hard. Yet there was always something wrong, things you couldn’t control. Because of the pain, you turned into a being of hate. A cornered, starving dog, snarling at everyone. Sure, you joked sometimes, but your anger was a fire that scorched others. Shuhei wasn’t sure if it burned the Squad or you more. 

Crossroads. He watched as you attempted to stand up straight, a hand grasping the left side of your shihakusho like you were going to rip it off. Your left hand grasping at yourself as if you could tear your soulmate bond out of your chest. In a moment of forgetfulness, Shuehi reached for you, but that flash of anger in your eyes made him stop and lower his hand. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t know how to help. He couldn’t leave you, he couldn’t help you, and he couldn’t even show you that your anger was misplaced but not misunderstood. He couldn’t even be a good Lieutenant. He was grasping at nothing. So he stood tall, and just watched. He swallowed words and swallowed pity, and watched. He watched as you finally were able to stand, using the tree you were hiding behind as your crutch. He watched as you glared at him. And he listened as you spoke.

“Did you not hear me, Lieutenant? I’m fine. Fuck off.” Your voice burned with anger. He couldn’t help you, not without flames rising up his skin. But he’d been burned before. Captain Muguruma was made of fire. He burned away all the residual droplets that Tosen has left behind. Fire was a warm, comforting, protective thing when it needed to be. Just as water was not only calm and welcoming, but also a killer. Everything needed moderation. Shuhei knew that fire and water were both needed. You were burning in flames of pain, anger, and your own misery without any water to douse you in. Shuhei swallowed and finally, he spoke.

“You’re not fine. You’re hurting again and-” How like you to cut him off, riling like a dog about to strike.

“Lieutenant Hisagi,” His heart ached. Gone were the days you’d laugh and joke together, calling each other by first names. Another reminder of what had been washed away as the years had gone by. “I know you may not like me right now, but for the love of God, let me do my job.” It felt like a slap to the face. Not like you? You were his friend. Sure, you may not have been his anchor like Momo or Kira, but he still saw you as a friend. You’d begun pulling away. You’d begun to suffer alone after Tosen betrayed the Gotei, and you’d suffered more as your soulmate had begun to pull so hard your heart couldn’t take it. And you had the audacity to say that he was the one that didn’t like you. You-

“Listen,” His voice is sharp, like glass, hoping to slice your skin to make you bleed out your self-loathing. “Shut up. I am your Lieutenant. I am your superior. I am telling you to go home. I am giving you a goddamn order. Are you insubordinate?” He felt cruel. But he was at his wits end with you. There wasn’t anything he could do, and you refused to accept help, or even let him listen. You had shut yourself off and withdrew to the point where he halfway considered putting you on a watch. Yet you persisted, the pain that haunts your every waking moment, something you are determined to not let define you. It hurts him.

People had to focus to feel that tug. Everyone was a master of emotions. The fact you felt it like someone had tied a raging hollow to your heart and soul meant whoever your soulmate was was hiding a great deal of inner pain. Or they didn’t have a good grasp on their emotions. Either way, Shuhei didn’t know how to help. He could feel his tug, pulsing away, but it never hurt. Not like yours. But seeing you, an old friend, in enough pain that you are sick and weakened because of it made him despise your soulmate. It made him want to grab the offender by the throat and throttle them until they go ahold of themselves. A fire burned in your eyes as you turned his words over in your head. Shuhei kept a stern face on, despite the fact he’d directly threatened you. You wouldn’t know it, but he felt remorse for what he had to do.

–

You wanted to hit Shuhei. He looked every part the asshole as you thought he was. He’s been picking things up from Captain Muguruma, that’s for sure. Both of them are pricks. Cold, reserved, and uncaring. You could scream. You could leap forward and rip Shuhei to shreds. But instead, you glare and turn away, managing your pain for just long enough to walk to your room in the barracks, and slam the door. Someone will complain in the morning about the noise, but you don't care. You burn with fury. You lay in your bed, your anger getting the best of you for some time, until all you can do is think.

You fucked up, yet again. Every single time the burning pain from the tug in your heart gets too much, you lash out. It’s becoming the thing that is ruining your life, but only because you keep letting it. If only you could make it stop, but with what time? Finding one's soulmate took time, and time was something you didn’t have the luxury of. There were articles to edit, training to be done, rounds and commissions to complete. You couldn’t follow the tug of your heart without negativity following you as you returned. It was a cruel thing. Just like you and Shuhei have been to each other for some time now. It felt like another betrayal each time you and Shuhei butted heads. He seemed insistent on you not overworking yourself, while also sending you home whenever you showed a wince of pain. But you wanted to work. You wanted to keep doing what you loved in vain hopes the tug in your heart would lessen and finally be something you had to search for.

The night was long. Nights were always worse than the days. But you closed your eyes and ignored how the tugging in your heart, the tugging in your very soul, clogged your throat and made you choke on your own misery. Hatred pooled in your heart, but not for you soulmate. It made you sick.

–

“Someone’s in pain?” Kira blinked as Shuhei lamented. His close friend wasn’t doing well. Bags under his eyes, slouched shoulders, messier hair. It was like he’d been working overtime again. 

“And they won’t listen. All I do is tell them ‘take care of yourself. Go home and rest. Take your time’ and all they do is get angry!” Shuhei ranted. He took another swig of sake and glared at nothing. Kira was getting concerned. “If I ever meet their soulmate, I’m gonna use Kazeshini and slice ‘em up.” 

Kira was very uncomfortable with that notion, mainly because he’d be an accessory to murder if it happened, and whoever this person in pain was would have to live without the other half of their soul permanently. He had another sip of sake for himself, feeling sullen. He glanced at his friend again.

“How bad is it? Surely it can’t be that bad-”

“Now you even sound like them! Fucks sakes… throwing up because your tug is hurting that bad and still saying you can fight a hollow isn’t a good thing. I’m going to put them on leave just so they can find their stupid soulmate and so I can get a piece of ‘em and give them a piece of my mind… ugh.”

Kira ignored how Shuhei had interrupted him. He listened quietly, and thought about this person. They sounded strong, but tortured by pain they didn’t ask to have. He felt his own heart ache in solidarity. He wished his soulmate wasn’t in pain. Selfishly, Kira wished he could abandon everything just for a day so he could find his soulmate. Maybe then his hand would stop being his only comfort in the night hours. To finally hold them in his arms and be able to feel their skin against his as he kissed their forehead and apologized for taking so long. Shuhei had another long drink, and Kira saw this as an opportunity. He’d been feeling so restless lately, maybe a change of scenery would be a good thing.

“Why don’t I come in and help for a bit? I’m sure Captain Muguruma would understand, what with how chaotic Mashiro is, and all the work you’re putting in for the Communication…” He trailed off, anxious to hear what his friend would say. Shuhei was about to take another drink, then paused halfway. He lowered the bottle and stared at it, his expression forlorn.

“...maybe I’ll take ‘em to the printing room. That’ll raise their spirits. I’m just worried about ‘em… they’re still my friend, you know? Seeing them in pain, and hearing them accuse me of not liking them… it’s hard.” 

Kira had no idea what Shuhei was on about, but concluded it must be about the person he was ranting about before. Overall, he took it as an agreement. Kira had another sip of his own sake as Shuhei starts to bawl, the bartender looking at them oddly. Shuhei started saying a name, which seemed odd to Kira, but he concluded it as the person's name. Placing a hand over his heart as he begins to drink all of his sake, Kira hopes his soulmate is alright, and not suffering in pain like Shuhei’s other friend is. He shook his head as Shuhei howled in misery, and Lieutenant Iba had to restrain him.

–

You stared at the printing press. Your mind churned, trying to find the reason behind Shuhei's current niceness. It felt like a trap. You inspected every inch of it, making sure nothing was faulty. It had been a long time since Shuhei had let you in here, mainly because of your work not being up to standard because of your pain, but today was special it seemed. One of his Lieutenant friends had come in to save the day and help out, much to Captain Muguruma’s mixed chagrin and relief. A blonde boy, who reminded you a lot of water. Smooth, quiet, seemingly weightless. Something different to the fire that had burned in your blood. 

You caught Shuhei staring again and you frowned. Standing up straight, you walk over to him.

“You’re looking good, mostly. The text blocks need a little upgrading, though. The wood down the far end is looking a little shabby too. It might be time for a more modern upgrade, but other than that, everything is good. I’m surprised the platen is still going too…” You speak normally for the first time in weeks. It isn’t a complaint. It isn’t filled with suppressed rage. It isn’t said sarcastically. It’s a normal conversation. Shuhei nods and rubs the back of his neck.

“...It might be time for an upgrade, yeah…” He mutters. You can see the thoughts running through his head. For the first time in a while, you see Shuhei, and not Lieutenant Hisagi. You pause for a moment, just watching him.

You know what he’s thinking. You can see the flash of Tosen behind his eyes, thoughts of the man who was a good captain, but in reality a traitor to everything you loved. It was painful. You recalled a time when you sat with Tosen in the garden. You were new to the Soul Society then, a recently graduated Soul Reaper. You’d had a terrible day, and were sitting in the garden, trying to make sense of things. Tosen had come up to you and invited you to join him on a walk. You honestly thought he was going to berate you.

But the man had talked about nonsense for a solid hour. The weather. Ink cartridges. What wood felt best when you had to take a nap on a desk. The feeling of different winds depending on what direction they came from. Never did you think a blind man would be able to talk for so long about the things you either thought weren’t worthy of talking about, or the things you’d never thought of before. For a solid hour, he spoke, you sometimes asking questions. Before you knew it, your mood had improved. Tosen had somehow managed to make you feel better by utterly confusing you. 

It was something you didn’t forget. It’s the reason why you had lashed out so aggressively when he left, your soulmate's tug becoming the source of all your pain once you’d killed as many hollows as possible. A man who had stepped out of his comfort zone to comfort a young shinigami, became almost like a father to you, one of the three greatest traitors in history. It made you scream. It was like he’d thrown you into water to drown, and when you coughed up your lungs, you set things on fire, just to feel the warmth Tosen has once provided to you.

You and Shuhei stood in silence for so long, the air became thick. When he finally looked back at you, a flash of guilt crossed his face. He cleared his throat.

“A new printing press. It’s a good idea. We’d have more time to do other things and we’d be able to…” He trailed off. So you finished his sentence for him, a flicker of your flame reigniting in your chest, hot and furious.

“Move on from the past.”

You two locked eyes. His jaw set and your eyes blazed. For a moment, it seemed like you were both going to draw your zanpakuto and fight, just to feel something other than the rage that followed a betrayal of a man you both admired and respected. A man you both knew as your calm ocean.

Then the door burst open and that blond friend of his walked in. Your tug jumped, but you ignored it. You and Shuhei snapped out of it and turned to the blonde man, who walked in. “Apologies. I’m Lieutenant Kira.” He said to you. You nodded your head in response. He was just being polite. You introduced yourself as well, making sure to be polite. You dodn’t miss how his eyes widened slightly. You frowned a little. Shuhei must’ve ran his mouth again… speaking of Shuhei, he butted in.

“Kira, what’s happening? Is everything alright?” The black haired man asked, concerned. Kira shook his head.

“Captain Muguruma is about to dissect Lieutenant Mashiro. Half the Squad is holding him back.” 

You held back a laugh, putting a hand over your mouth. Kira looked at you, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion for a moment before Shuhei started running out of the room.

“Stay here! That little-”

His voice faded as he ran, leaving you and Kira alone. The room was silent again, until you burst out into laughter.

The sound was beautiful to Kira. To him, it was like water falling over stones, so merry and carefree. To you, your laugh felt like a warm flame, not angry or harmful, but merry and calming. It felt like freedom. You kept on smiling even after you were done.

“One of these days, Captain Muguruma is going to kill Mashiro.” You said dryly, chuckling a little more at your own thought. “But only if Shuhei doesn’t get to her first.” Kira chuckled to himself.

“They’re like oil and water…” He said in a tone of false sorrow. He shook his head and then glanced at you. His heart was racing, and his tug felt painful for the first time. It was like time froze as Kira realized his tug was hurting. It felt like someone was ripping his heart out of his chest whenever he looked at you. He stepped away a little, not knowing what to do. 

You looked at Kira again, and for the first time in a long time, you felt light. Like all your burdens had been burned away until only the embers remained. Something you usually only felt in the dead of night, an emotion of calmness and serenity you’d dubbed the ‘midnight flame’. A soft, burning sensation that soothed rather than harmed. You saw something turning behind Kira’s eyes, and the tenseness of his neck.

You recalled how Shuhei had said Kira was a bit antisocial. You’d heard of him before Tosen and the others had betrayed the Soul Society. You hadn’t met, though, due to your own schedule and the fact that Shuhei needed to be babysat while drinking, which wasn’t your favourite thing to do. Out of respect for him, you collected yourself and stepped away a little as well, looking away. Your chest felt so light. For the first time in a long time, it’s like you’re able to breathe without feeling the heavy burden of your soulmates tug. You went to speak again, maybe to break the silence, when Kira fell to his knees.

You paused for a minute, wondering if you should laugh or not. You opted to crouch down where you are and looked at Kira.

“...are you alright?” He glanced at you, his eyes filled with tears. He quickly looked away, clenching his fists over his knees as he tried to focus on anything but the pain. The tug in his chest was too much, this blistering hurt that burns him. You reached out to him, but he exhaled sharply before you could touch him. Your brow creased, and your own tug began to hurt again. An endless cycle for you, one that you couldn’t escape. Your face hardened. ‘I’ll get Lieutenant Hisagi.” A simple decision. You stood quickly and walked out of the room, searching for Shuhei.

You followed the sounds of commotion to see Shuhei and Mashiro having an argument. You were about to step in to ask when he’ll be done, when an errant hand grabed you by the neck and marched you back inside.

“Stay out of it.”

If you had to describe Captain Muguruma, you would call him a blaze. He was a wild-looking man, with the strength of a hundred regular shinigami, and an outrageous sense of style that had inspired Shuhei to get tattoos on his face, of all places. He set you down inside and checked over his shoulder to see if Mashiro was dead yet. Finding the little green girl still alive, he looked back at you.

“Whatever it is, you come to me. I’m your Captain now, not Hisagi.” Muguruma spoke with an annoyed tone in his voice, as if this was the last thing he wanted to be dealing with. You recalled every time he barked at you to speed up, or told you to go home and get over it. He was perhaps the worst person who could’ve caught you when you needed help. You swallowed and put on a smile.

“I was just looking to see if it had ended yet.”

“Well, it hasn’t, so get back inside. I heard he left you at the… printing thing.”

“...the printing press?”

“That. Whatever it is, just stay there.”

“We need a more modern one.” “Lieutenant Hisagi is in charge of that. He’ll come to me when he wants one and I’ll give him the funds.” “Well I want to talk to him about what options we have.”

“From what I hear, you’ve been banned from the Communication work until your pain isn’t such a hindrance.”

You fell silent. Muguruma stared down at you with his arms crossed, radiating pure annoyance. You weren’t going to be getting any help from anyone, it looked like. Without another word, you turned away, walking back to the printing room, and a distressed Kira. Your body burned with anger at Muguruma. He only became captain because there was nobody else to take the spot, and because the Soul Society had been desperate for experienced captains. Otherwise, he’d still be rotting in the mortal realm, living his pathetic life, probably getting more piercings. 

Muguruma watched you. He didn’t understand what he was doing wrong. He was being truthful, wasn’t he? He knew you were hindered by something that could be sorted. Why didn’t you take your numerous enforced days off to find the cause of your issue and stop it? Why didn’t you thank him for at least noticing you weren’t doing okay? He looked down at the ground as he scowled. You’re probably just emotional and in pain again. He’d have to give you more space, leave you alone. Your anger was helping nobody. At least when he got angry he had time for it… 

You entered the printing room again, your eyes trained on Kira. He looked a little better. He met your gaze for a moment, and you sighed.

“Lieutenant Kira is busy with Lieutenant Mashiro.” You announced. You walked forward and held out your hand, a gesture that seemed fine for time being. “Let’s get you somewhere that doesn’t house a machine.”

When he took your hand, his face pale and his palm slightly sweaty, it was like a thousand midnight doves erupt from the touch alone.

Such a feeling of fullness filled you. A flurry of soft wings enveloping your entire being, a eruption of a waterfall inside your soul that quenched all anger and pain that led you to salvation. No longer did you crave, no longer did your tug pull at your very being. Water rushed into every part of your soul, filling it with such a lightness you could've sworn at the moment it felt like you were suspended in a great sea, but no risk of drowning was present. 

For Izuru, he felt warmth after the loss of such a crippling pain. Such a hearth bloomed inside him he knew that he would never feel cold during his lonely midnight again. A flame so enveloping inside his being, something so warm and right to fight for, he likened it to a Phoenix. Reborn from the ashes, no longer suffering under cool water. The water in his lung was burned away, and with it, his passion ignited. Such a small thing he felt, something he'd never felt before. Passion. What was it? The kindle burned in his chest, a fire that would never go out. He felt free.

The two of you stared at each other, before Izuru slowly stood, your hands still clasped together, your souls both finally free of searching, of tugging. He was mesmerised by you. You thought of everything you'd been through. 

Fire and water were opposites, and yet no matter which element your soul reflected now, you had to make your peace. 

“...I was in insurmountable pain for a very long time.” You said. A boldness ripped through you. Yet your next words- ”You should make it up to me.” -were stolen from your throat at Izuru, not quite understanding what he was doing in his new passionate delirium, pulled you forward and swept you into a tight hug. On instinct, you responded in kind.

All was silent for a few moments, before Izuru spoke again. His voice was shaky from his nervousness, but his newfound passion simmer underneath it all. He damned himself for being so shy, but this time, he was going to push himself to show you comfort. 

“Never again.” His throat was hoarse. Hands once used for worry and work found their new purpose grasping you close to him. “No more pain.”

No more pain. How you'd longed for that for so long. How you'd longed for midnight under the moon where you didn't feel as if you'd lose your soul to such agony within it. How you'd longed to take it out on him, to scream and yell for the pain he'd unwittingly caused. And yet. Such a cool flow of water filled you, such a rush of comfort from his words washed over you, so much so you couldn't be mad anymore. How could you? How could you be so angry at the person whose first words to you was “never again”?

Izuru finally felt a flash of discomfort from the sudden hug he initiated. He stepped back but slid his hands to your ribs. You suppressed the urge to jump. You had ticklish ribs. He looked into your eyes before looking away, so red in the face he could barely talk anymore. 

For a moment, all was still. Then, in a moment of weakness you'd never felt, a tender kind you wished to explore during softer, quieter midnights, you began to speak.

“...you're-”

With a bang, the door to the printing press room slammed open. 

“I'm sick and tired of leaving you be, and ignoring the pain of someone who's one of my best seated officers-” Muguruma was yelling, but stopped. You turned your head and scowled.

That insufferable prick. 

Your souls, two lost souls now joined in what would blossom into such a pure love ordained by the universe itself, were still fire and water. You two balanced each other. As Izuru found out less than ten seconds later, after you gently pulled away from him, you would need plenty of water to cool down after you had a shouting match with Captain Muguruma. It was such a sight to see that even Shuhei and Mashiro stopped fighting to come and investigate the source of your yelling. To be fair, nobody had ever seen you explode like this. Shuhei and Izuru locked eyes, and as Izuru dissolved into embarrassment, wishing he could hide away, Shuhei felt himself grinning for his friend. 

It did nag in the back of Shuhei's mind on how on earth shy, quiet, water-like Kira was soulmates with the embodiment of sheer rage and hellfire. 

“Opposites attract,” He murmured to himself. Mashiro giggled.

“Maybe Captain Muguruma is soulmates with me if that's the case.” 

“...you're out of you goddamn mind if you think-”

Two fights broke out in the printing press room, both of which Izuru wanted to run and hide from. Yet he couldn't take his eyes off of your form, how you gestured as you and Muguruma argued loudly. He wondered if he should get you a glass of water for your throat. You were certainly yelling loud enough…

Then you drew your sword just as Muguruma did and he decided to leave it be for now. 

At the very least, Izuru could provide you with water during the midnights you would steal in the future, soft kisses that were stolen in the dark, and gentle sighs turned into moans when he finally felt such a flame burn away his gentle water in his soul. Seeing you spent and satisfied brought him more satisfaction and joy than anything else. Afterwards, he always brought you a big glass.

[living-la-vida-lesbian]

there is so much untapped potential for mako and bolin fan content... yall idk if it's just me but sibling relationships (especially when they've been through as much trauma as mako and bolin) are super fun and interesting to write

[beifong-brainrot]

Crying over what must've been going through baby Opal's head when she was told that Kuvira was being adopted into the family.

Imagine being the only nonbender girl of a family of great benders. She's already failing her family's legacy. And then Suyin takes in another girl, one that also happens to be a talented metalbender/earthbender.

Doesn't that feel like being replaced?

[im--never--happy]

I really fundamentally cannot understand how and why the avatar fandom has been sleeping on Mako. Especially with all the Zuko love. People love an angsty sad boi who just wants to do the right thing. And by god if that is not Mako I don’t know what is. Like. Mako as a character is soooo fucking angstable. So much angst potential right there. But fandom just collectively ignores him (or else hates on him for no fucking reason). Is he perfect? Of course not, but Zuko is so insanely far from perfect and all of Zuko’s wrongdoings so far surpass any of Mako’s. Yet fandom easily forgives Zuko, resident sad boi, for his actual fucking crimes (kyoshi village didn’t burn itself down, Song’s ostrich horse didn’t steal itself, Sparky Sparky Boom—I mean Combustion Man didn’t hire himself—lmao) in favor of focusing on his trauma and angst (don’t get me wrong I am an absolute slut for angst and complex nuanced discussions of trauma in fictional characters, and Zuko is such an amazing vessel for my insatiable thirst for angst. But. SO!! IS!!! MAKO!!!!!). But Mako doesn’t get that treatment. He’s vilified for his significantly less bad mistakes. And it makes no actual fucking sense. Because he is so primed for angst and he has insane amounts of trauma. And he’s so sweet. He just loves the people in his circle so fucking much, he just wants to do right by them, he just wants to protect them and keep them safe, and also fucking save the goddamn world. Jfc. He’s sooo GOOD. And the crazy thing is that he’d actually be a better fit for a lot of the specific angst and character traits people want to project onto Zuko that actually aren’t in line with Zuko’s character. Like when people write how Zuko is so humble and doesn’t think he deserves anything and is so intrinsically kind and patient and gentle. And that’s just… not canon Zuko at all. Canon Zuko is impatient and loud and shouts and so insanely fucking proud. He was raised a prince thinking he deserved everything because he was royalty. And yes yes so much abuse and lack of self worth and trauma. Yes obviously. But Zuko expects (or at least expected) people to give him things or do things for him because he was royalty. At least at one point. He doesn’t know how to cook or take care of himself or other people, because he’s always had people doing that for him, at least to a certain degree (I’m not saying the ship banishment was luxury but he still absolutely had a crew that did a lot of shit, like cooking and day to day grunt work for him). Whereas Mako IS humble and soft spoken and quiet and gentle. He never raises his voice with bolin and never lashes out in anger. Bolin and Korra say hurtful unfair and unkind shit to him, and he just fucking takes it. He doesn’t shout or throw insults back. He just accepts their anger and criticims and still fights to help and protect them. He is self reliant and raised his younger brother alone since they were both homeless orphans. He can cook. He also doesn’t think he deserves better when people treat him like shit, because he’s always been treated like shit. (Hello self worth self-loathing angst potential galore!!) Mako is everything that a lot of fandom want Zuko to be and he has endless potential for sad boi trauma angsting. But he gets hated for no fucking reason while Zuko gets idolized. And it makes no fucking sense and drives me absolutely fucking nuts

[graciescott27]

✩ Masterlist ✩

Scream:

nothing here yet!

Avatar the Last Airbender:

nothing here yet!

The Legend of Korra:

nothing here yet!

Jujutsu Kaisen:

nothing here yet!

Heathers:

nothing here yet!

Blue Lock:

full blue lock masterlist!

requests open!

[zukkaart]

Zukka x happiness pt 1/4(?)