#anddddd here was third place!!!

[leviiackrman]

"Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control, I will be late"

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[cinhomi]

okok i saw you wanted some ideas so here we go:

y/n is a waitress at a diner and one day skz comes in, but hyunjin can’t take his eyes off her. he keeps coming back to the diner and doesn’t leave until closing time anddddd I’ll leave the rest to you!!

this is a real y/n experience 🤭 but you didn't specify if skz are famous or not in this so I'm taking some liberties 😈

ALSO I'M SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG I KNOW THIS ISN'T MUCH BUT I HOPE YOU WILL STILL LIKE IT

Reservations for a lot of people are usually a nightmare to receive. Dirty dishes all over the kitchen, orders appearing from nowhere like mushrooms in a forest, rude people making demands over demands, and overall too much noise.

So when you personally answer the restaurant's phone and hear about eight people asking for a table... well, two tables, for tonight? The scream you let out is unfortunately just in your head. Your colleagues turn around when you shut the cordless phone on its stand, and your hands go to grab your hair, desperately. They hear the news. You all will be without any hair on your head by the end of the day.

It's the third time they call you over to take some orders, and the second one that they giggle when you come closer to their table. Weird. How much do men even eat? Do their stomachs have an end? More than annoyed, you're impressed by how many plates are stacked on the two tables. You carefully take them, and the towers these guys built are somehow stable and you pick them up effortlessly… they must be experts in the art of eating at restaurants.

“Can we please have some more rice?” someone asks, and a few others agree, but there is just one guy… he never talks when you come to hear their requests, or clear the space.

When you get a good glance at him behind the counter, when one of his friends goes to the bathroom and leaves an empty spot in front him, you feel your breath being knocked away from your lungs.

Plump rosey lips appearing more and more beautiful as they move with his words and part when he eats. His cheeks are a bit tinted, maybe from the alcohol he's been drinking since they arrived. Eyes long and feline, irises shining under the dim light right above his head, that also makes his long hair appear as a frame for his face, with his skin being the color of honey carefully crafted by expert bees.

His gaze finds yours once again, and he stops talking. The mole under his left eye twitches a little, as he tries to focus more the image of you in his vision. It makes you blush.

You see his friends nudge his elbow when they catch him staring in your direction, and a choir of teasing noises arises as they notice you were staring right back at him.

You come back to their table, and every time they try to embarass him, but you just smile and giggle at their jokes, not really noticing how your face always assumes the same color of gochujang. He smiles and keeps looking at you every time as if lost in thought, maybe used to his friends teasing him a lot. He must be someone popular. He has a kind face.

His friends call him Hyunjin.

Hyunjin smiles at you whenever your eyes meet and he always thanks you when you bring food or drinks.

Hyunjin sits straight and smiles absentmindedly all the time. He looks like a lovesick puppy.

Hyunjin is the only one that stays at the restaurant at almost closing time, when his seven friends thank you a million times and wink at him.

“Is there something else I can do for you...”

“Hyunjin. Please, call me Hyunjin. What is your name?”

When he hears your name his white teeth sink into his bottom lip, a wide smile taking over his face, as his head tilts slightly to the side.

“I was thinking of having dessert… what is your favourite that your restaurant makes?” his voice is soft and velvety smooth. Tempting. Sensual.

“The chocolate cake, I'd say. It's simple but satisfying and rich in flavor.”

Hyunjin slowly closes the menu, and places it in front of him, his hands playing a bit with the pages, as he takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“Would you like to have some with me, when you finish your turn?”

Oh… you've never been more happier about a client staying overtime.

[seerofmike]

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee. 

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching. 

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much. 

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons. 

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation. 

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason. 

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this. 

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down. 

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense. 

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact. 

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait. 

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy. 

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’ 

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

 this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO . 

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO. 

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again. 

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

 did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly. 

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more. 

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty. 

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate. 

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

[harrywavycurly]

*a/n anddddd here it is! I haven’t written anything in quite a while so be gentle? It’s angsty and sad as per the usual for me lately. As always I appreciate feedback and likes/reblogs! Enjoy my babes!*

“A tumbleweed heart, chasin that wind. Goin’ too far, wherever that is.”

“I know I still can’t believe she actually agreed to go on another date with him.” You laughed as you shrugged at your best friend who was sitting across from you reaching for the bottle of wine that you had just opened and placed in the middle of the kitchen table.

“She’s always had a thing for men with a sense of humor,” You explained making your friend laugh as she poured herself a glass of wine. “She loves-“ You looked down as your phone began to vibrate making the table shake a bit, you felt your heart drop when you saw the name that was flashing on the screen.

“It’s him isn’t it?” You looked up at her just in time to catch her rolling her eyes as you stood up, grabbing your phone in the process. “This has to stop eventually you know that right?” She added while she placed the bottle of wine back onto the table and shook her head as she watched you wave her off with your hand while you walked into the living room. You slid your finger across the screen before bringing the phone up to your ear.

“Hello? S’you yeah?” The moment you heard his raspy voice you felt your shoulders slump as you looked at the clock on the wall above your tv, of course he would be drunk at three in the afternoon. “Ello?” You just shook your head as you took a seat on the edge of your couch.

“Yes Harry it’s me.” You answered, making a sigh of relief escape from his lips. “Do you need something?” You asked and you tried not to sound annoyed. You really did, but this was the third time he’d called you drunk in the past two weeks. You knew by all the noise you could hear in the background that he most likely was at the bar down the street from his house, the bar that you’d become a regular at with him during the time you were together.

“Jus wanted to hear your voice.” Harry looked around the bar and felt a frown form on his face when he noticed how empty it was. “S’empty today.” He smiled and nodded at the bartender, who pointed at Harry’s empty glass.

“Well it’s not even four in the afternoon yet in California Harry.” You explained as you ran a hand through your hair. “Most people aren’t at the bar this early.” Harry just chuckled making you let out a huff, you never did enjoy dealing with him when he was intoxicated let alone doing it over the phone from states away.

“We used to be here at noon an stay till it closed,” Harry smiled as a fresh drink was placed in front of him. “Member that?” You nodded your head as you scooted back and got comfortable on the couch when you realized this wasn’t going to be a conversation that was going to end anytime soon. “That was back when ya loved me.” Harry looked down at his drink and gave it a stir as memories of the two of you began to replay in his mind.

“Not tonight Harry,” You pleaded even though you knew it was useless given the state he was in. “You had a good week, don’t go ruining it with thoughts of us.” Harry just picked up his glass and spun around in his barstool so he could look out the window and watch the waves of the ocean come crashing onto the rocks.

“Yer not gonna argue with me?” Harry gave a small smile and a nod to a couple that walked past him to sit at a table by the window, the same table he’d sat at with you countless times while sharing a bottle of wine or just a few mid afternoon drinks. “You love to argue with me.” You rolled your eyes at Harry’s playful statement, Harry knew if he got you on a rant that would mean he’d have you on the phone for a little bit longer and that’s exactly what he needed, he just needed to hear your voice for a little bit longer.

“You’re right Harry,” You smiled when your wine glass came into your view from above causing you to look up and see your friend, she gave you a sad smile as she handed the glass to you as you mouthed the words thank you. “I’m not going to argue with you.” You stated making him laugh, a sound that made memories threaten to flood your mind with images of Harry with his head leaned back, his eyes crinkled and his nose the tiniest bit scrunched up as he laughed at a stupid joke you’d told or a story about your day at the office.

“How did you know?” Harry asked as he looked down at his drink and gave it a little stir before taking a sip. “That I’ve had a good week? How’d you know?” He added as you took a sip of your wine and looked over at your coffee table that held the little stack of magazines you’d collected over the past few weeks all with articles about various things Harry had been seen doing as well as a few awards he’d won.

“You’re Harry Styles,” You took another sip of your wine while Harry just raised an eyebrow as he waited for you to finish explaining yourself. “When aren’t you having a good week?” When you heard Harry chuckle you just sunk a little deeper into your couch before taking a sip of your wine.

“I mean for the most part you’re not wrong,” Harry couldn’t help it as he looked down at the ring on his right hand and shook his head as if it was going to help erase the memory of the night you gave it to him, to celebrate the fact he’d told you his second album was finished. “But I’ve also had my share of shitty weeks.” You bit down on your bottom lip as you watched the wine in your glass swirl around, the hurt in Harry’s voice wasn’t anything new, it had been something you’d found yourself growing used to and that’s probably the thing that caused you the most pain. The fact that all you were beginning to feel was complete nothingness when, the once love of your life, sounded utterly heartbroken on the other end of the phone all because of a choice you made.

“Do we have to do this every time Harry?” You sat up so you could lean over and place your wine glass on the coffee table. “Because it’s getting a bit redundant isn’t it?” You could tell by the sigh coming from Harry’s end of the phone that he was not in the mood for the conversation you were about to start with him.

“As is you telling me every single time we talk that what you did was a choice, one that I didn’t give you any other option but to make and that’s such bullshit.” You rolled your eyes as you stood up and began pacing the living room as he spoke and even though some of his words were slurred your knew he meant them all wholeheartedly. “You left. You, not me, you did this,” You stopped in your tracks as you heard Harry let out a deep breath. “This is broken because of you.” You felt the all too familiar lump begin to form in your throat as you looked out the window in your living room as it started to rain.

“I know.” Harry closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath as your sad voice hit his ears, admitting to him that you were aware that the whole reason the two of you were in the situation at hand was in fact all your fault. “I broke us. But you know why I had to do it, there wasn’t anything left for me in California.” Harry just let out a low chuckle and rolled his eyes.

“Right you didn’t have anything left for you here. Ya know besides me, and I’d like to think I was a pretty decent part of your life?” You just let out a sad sigh as you sat on the armrest of your couch and ran a hand through your hair. “At least back then, back when you loved me enough to write me a note telling me you were leaving.” You knew he wasn’t done talking so you just rubbed your lips together. “Oh right sorry. More so to tell me you had already left. Seeing as I didn’t find the note till the next day since you know I don’t check my mail every day, but that was the plan right? Drop a note in my mailbox and drive off into the sunset to a new life. How’s that life going for you by the way? Is it worth everything and everyone you left?” You felt a few tears stream down your cheeks as Harry’s words hit you like a smack in the face, he’d never talked to you like this before but you knew he needed to get it all off his chest if you had any hope of getting these random drunken phone calls to stop.

“I’m sorry Harry, I’m sorry okay? I left and you didn’t want me to, but I did it anyway and that’s something you’re going to have to get over because you calling me every week drunk and heartbroken isn’t going to change anything.” You felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest as you wiped off the tears from your cheeks with your free hand. “It’s been four weeks already.” Harry just let out a shaky breath and shook his head as he looked down at his drink that he all of a sudden had no desire for anymore.

“It could be ten years that’ve past by and I’d still want you to come back.” His voice was a little above a whisper and it made your heart sink when you heard him sniffle, letting you know he was fighting back a new batch of tears. “I think about you everyday and I know you at least think of me sometimes because you still keep up with me, how else would you know if I’m having a good or bad week? So what’s the point of all this if we still care about each other?” At this point you could tell Harry was just pleading with you to give him any spark of hope and you felt your heart begin to break as you let out a shaky breath and looked up at the ceiling as you gathered your thoughts.

“Caring about each other wasn’t the issue Harry,” You felt the lump return to your throat as you struggled to fight back the tears that so desperately wanted to flow down your face. “I just don’t want to be with you right now, I have to do my own thing for a while. I lost myself in California and I need to find myself again, and I have to do it alone.” Harry let out a deep sigh as he ran a hand through his hair after sliding his sunglasses onto his face so they could help hide his emotions from the people as they walked by.

“You don’t want to be with me right now.” He stated making you just nod as if he could see you. “You’ll be sure to let me know if that changes yeah?” Harry turned around in his stool and looked at the bartender before he laid a few bills on the counter letting the man know he was done for the day, the bartender smiled at Harry as he walked past him and towards the door.

“Of course.” You felt yourself fall backwards onto the couch so your feet were now hanging off the edge of the armrest. “I’ve gotta go now okay? Have a good rest of your day Harry, don’t forget to take some Advil and drink lots of water when you get home.” Harry just shook his head as a chuckle escaped him.

“It’s scary how good you’ve gotten at saying goodbye.” You closed your eyes as Harry crossed the street so he would be on the side his house was on. “You make it sound so casual but we both know this is it huh? No more calls after this one?” He stopped walking so he could make sure he heard your response even though he already knew what your answer was going to be.

“You’re right,” You swallowed back the lump in your throat and let out a sniffle making Harry’s heart feel like it was about to crumble into a pile of broken pieces right there on the sidewalk outside of his gate. “No more calls after this one.” You let out a shaky breath as Harry just ran a hand through his hair and tugged at his roots. “Goodbye Harry.” You took the phone away from your ear just as you felt a sob working it’s way up your chest.

“Goodbye love.” With that Harry pressed the end call button and never had he felt the urge to just throw his phone into the middle of the street as badly as he did in that very moment but he just took a deep breath and entered his gate code allowing him access to his driveway.

He felt as if his heart was truly ripping apart as he took a few steps forward allowing the gate to close behind him. He slid his sunglasses up into his hair as he felt the familiar stinging sensation so he just took a few step backwards until his back was flush against the metal of his gate so he could slide down it until he was sitting with his head in his hands and the tears freely streaming down his face as the conversation the two of you just had replayed in his mind.

You tossed your phone onto the coffee table before bringing both your hands up to cover your face as you let all the emotions you’d been fighting back come to the surface. You knew Harry deserved someone better than what you could offer him at this moment of your life and in the end what you did was for the best, and just because you left, didn’t mean you couldn’t hurt just as much as he was.

[talas-starlight]

Scarred Spirits - Zuko x fem! reader (pt.5)

SUMMARY: y/n wakes up in an unfamiliar place and tries to find her way back to her mission (i suck at summaries LOL)

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

WARNINGS: swearing, fighting? kinda?

OTHER PARTS:  pt1   /   pt2 /   pt3 /   pt4 /   pt6

MASTERLIST: Here!

A/N: anddddd we’re back!!! hehe thank you to everyone who has been so so patient with me i am so greatful && hopefully youre just as excited as i am for this series heheh

Bricks. You felt as though you were just hit with a tonne of bricks. The idea of even opening your eyes to the harsh sunlight, which you could feel through your eyelids felt like the worst idea in the world. Your dry throat didn’t help at all either. Maybe if I just lay wherever the fuck I am, I’ll magically gain the energy to move again. Or better yet, maybe the ground will swallow me whole, and I can forget about this mission altogether.

Abruptly interrupting your painful stillness on the ground, there was a small kick into your left side. The sudden shock immediately sent your brain swirling into all the ways you could eliminate whoever disturbed your peace.

“Hey… I think she’s dead.”

Ah, the wonderful sound of an annoying, teenage boy. They’ll be easy to take out.

A second female voice emerged. “She's not dead Sokka! She's literally breathing!" Sokka? As in Hakodas son? Oh Spirits, you never fail to amaze me with how you choose to dictate my life. Hmmm, then that means the girl is Katara. Yay.

"Yeah?! Then why the hell hasn't she even moved a single inch since we found her!"

"Well, maybe she's protesting against your annoying poking!" Spirits they're annoying and loud.

A third voice attempted to intervene, "Guys…. Stop, she's fine. Trust me." Hmm, that's considerably younger. 10 years old perhaps? Or a bit older? 12 maybe? Male?

"Oh yeah? How can you be so sure Aang."

"Well Katara is right, she is breathing for one. But…. There's something else about her, I can feel it."

"What? Like an avatar thingy?"

"Yeah."

Wait the Avatar? Wasn't he on that dragon from when I was-

"Hmmm right, well what are we going to do with her?" At that statement, the annoying boy who seemed to be so confident that you were dead, kicked you again. Sick of his irritable presence, with as much strength you could muster, you took your right hand quickly snatching his ankle, and yanking it towards you, causing him to lose balance and ultimately backwards. Letting out a high-pitched yelp as he thudded onto the hard ground, you quickly rose to your knees. Taking the hand gripped around his ankle to tug him closer to you, you moved between his legs until you were able to straddle his waist, placing all of your weight on top of him. Finally, you grabbed both his arms, holding them above his head, completely hindering him from moving.

"If you kick me one more time, or even trying anything like that again, I WILL chop your legs off. Got it?"

Staring at you with pure horror in his eyes, he visibly gulped, nodding. "Yes! Yes! Hear it loud and clear. Totally got it! Just call me Sokka, the guy with perfect understanding."

Moving your right hand from his wrists, you firmly gripped his jaw, forcing him to keep eye contact with you. Taking in his scared features, you smirked even though he couldn't see it. "You sure about that, water boy?"

"YES! YES!", frantically nodding, you could tell that if you kept pressing on, he'd probably burst into tears soon. Bringing his voice down to a pathetic whimper, he let out, "please don't hurt me."

Finally lifting yourself off him, you let out a dry laugh, satisfied with his compliance. "Uh-huh. Right."

Turning your head to the people that belonged to the other two voices, you took in their stunned and weakly defensive stances. Chest heaving at your sudden physical movements, you nodded, acknowledging them. "Hey, Avatar. Katara. So, where am I?"

After a few moments of silence, the Avatar spoke up first. “You’re just outside of Omashu.”

Katara elbowed Aang, instantly alarmed at his calm nature towards you. “Aang! You can’t just say that. We don’t know who this person is or how she even knows my name! She could be with the Fire Nation for all we know!”

“Katara it’s alright! Calm down.”

“Calm down?! She just attacked Sokka! I mean, rightfully so- but it’s a little suspicious. We don’t know who she is or her intentions.”

Sighing, you looked around, taking in your surroundings. It seemed that rocky mountains surrounded you with a small group of tents in the distance. Interesting… why are they all Earth Kingdom people, when Omashu is so close by?

Shifting your attention back towards the three, you decided against telling them who you were. “It doesn’t matter how I know any of your names. What matters is that I need to get back to my original mission.”

Sokka scoffed, moving to stand beside his sister. “Your mission? Let me guess; you’re here to kill Aang too.”

Raising an eyebrow, his eyes immediately widened in fear. “Trust me, water boy, if I wanted him dead, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. I’m here on… other confidential business.” Met with silence from all three of them you moved on, “so let me guess, you found Omashu invaded by the Fire Nation, and you three were the ones that helped that tiny camp of people over there escape from their rule. Interesting choice considering there are bigger things you should be worrying about. Yet, why are all of you still here? Surely the Avatar and his friends don’t need to train them in how to look after themselves.”

“We’re going back into Omashu. To make a trade for King Bumi and to give the governor his son back.” Why does he keep willingly give me information? Now that’s interesting. I can barely feel any fire within him either, it’s almost as if it's not there at all…

“Okay. I’ll accompany you all into Omashu, and once we arrive within the city, we’ll go our separate ways.”

“Sure!”

“NO!”

“NO!”

Bursting out into a fit of laughter, you shook your head at the water tribe siblings. “Naw, it’s sweet how you think you all have a choice in this. Don’t worry, nothing will happen to any of you, I’m just hitching a ride and you’ll never have to see me again. Regardless, Aang said yes, and considering he’s the Avatar and all, I think his choice overrules yours.”

Katara didn’t seem to like your suggestion that her and Sokka’s opinion didn’t matter. “No, it doesn’t work like that! We’re a family, and we make these decisions together! You can’t just wake up after who knows how long you were laying there for, and expect us to trust you immediately! For one, you attacked Sokka a little too easily without any bending, and you literally said that you were on a mission! If I’m honest, you sound like trouble, especially since we don’t even know your name! Or what you even look like!”

“Just as I said before, it doesn’t matter. It’s sweet you all care enough about each other’s safety, but I’m not here to cause any of you ‘trouble’. Get me inside Omashu, and we’ll never have to speak or interact ever again. If it means so much to you, I’ll let water boy tie me up, and watch me the entire journey there as reparations for my small attack against him. How does that sound?”

Aang more than satisfied with your offer let out a quick, “Yes!”.

Grumbling under her breath Katara shook her head, clearly understanding that this was as good as it was going it get. “Fine. But he ties you up now. If I see you even move an inch out of line, don’t think I’ll go easy on you. I am a waterbender after all.”

As if you being a waterbender would have stopped me. Holding your arms out and casting your attention towards the ground, you were ready for Sokka to bind your wrists together with some cloth, he tore off his clothing. Unknown to you, he seemed to notice that despite how tough you were, you were weak. All of the sudden movements and the argument with his sister clearly drained you physically.

“Hey… I don’t really like you since you threatened to kill me, but are you sure you’re ready to be travelling so soon? You’re breathing really heavily. You need some water and food.” Gently wrapping your wrists together, he tried and failed to make eye contact with you.

At the mention of water, you throat physically constricted in pain. “Nah, I’ll be alright. Just need to get to Omashu.”

“Doubt it. Let’s get you on Appa and I’ll nag Katara for something.”

Silently following him to the Sky Bison, you were grateful that your mask covered the wide smile that broke out onto your face. It’s beautiful.

Finally, parting ways with them, you let out a breath of relief. That was the most silent journey I have ever been on and I travel by myself… Spirits, I hope I never have to run into them again. I think I’m going to lose my mind if I ever do. What was Hakoda thinking?! I’d be an awful big sister to them, they already hate me! It didn’t help how much they kept bickering either. Argh, what a mess. Aang kept looking at me funny the entire time too! What was up with that? Do his Avatar powers allow him to see into my soul or something? Spirits, he’d probably wants to unleash his Avatar state on me for all of the lives I’ve taken. Yikes.

Before setting off to find Azula, you needed to take precautions to blend into the small kingdom. Stealing some clothes, you found you chose to duplicate you last disguise with the only main difference being that it was in green cloth instead of pink.

After securing your final blade underneath your robes, you knew there was no more time to waste and you needed to find Azula quick. You weren’t sure how much she has progressed in her mission to find Iroh and Zuko and the guilt of not helping them when they ran off the Fire Nation ship was already nagging you like an itch you couldn’t scratch.

This city is too big to wander around aimlessly.

Closing your eyes and letting out a deep breath, you chose to look for her the quickest way you knew how. By sensing her fire.

Come on y/n; you can do it. Unsure of how far your abilities would work, you grew worried that she may be too far away for you to even feel her.

After a few minutes, you started to feel irritated. Of course, you could sense fire, you felt so much of it. The city was crawling with Fire Nation after all, but it wasn’t hers. You emitted a few more deep breaths, trying to clear your head.

Suddenly a deep, familiar voice entered your mind. Inner peace. You need to find your inner peace y/n. That’s why you keep losing control; you need to find it.

Is this that dragon again? As if you didn’t have a random voice inside your head, you were met with silence.

Look you can’t just randomly enter my mind you know, and who in Spirits name transports me to some random mountainside?! I don’t know who you are, but I’ve been doing fine all of these years on my own. So kindly, get out of my head.

Letting out a small scream into your hands as the voice never came back, you closed your eyes again.

Stupid voice.

Stupid inner peace.

Breathing in and out, you wracked your brain for something that made you feel at peace. Come on, you can do it. Then after a few moments, it hit you. Not your inner peace, no. You’d have to find that another day. What did hit you was Azula’s fire, you felt it.

Immediately following the tugging feeling, you ran as fast as you could until you came to a tall piece of scaffolding. Even though you were so far below, you could still hear the fight that was occurring many levels up. Can’t she keep herself out of a battle for at least a day?! I bet it’s not even Zuko up there. Scowling, knowing that you can’t ignore her completely, you climbed up until you reached the fight but still remaining hidden.

By the time you reached the platform, you felt that Azula had already moved from this part of the fight. That didn’t mean that there weren’t pressing matters right in front of you, though.

“How are you going to fight without your bending?” A Fire Nation girl before you brought out her blades ready to attack Katara. Holding back a verbal groan, you knew you were going to have to help her.  

Quickly jumping in, you deflect Mai’s knife with your arm while simultaneously catching a boomerang that you spotted in the corner of your eye. As the flying bison approached your quickly dodged its tail as it sent the two fire nation girls flying back. Seeing a distraction between all parties, you threw the boomerang back to Sokka while running for the scaffolding, making your way into the shadows. So much for never having to see them again.

When you ran away from the scene, you knew your disguise was too recognisable considering the two girls saw you when you intervened. This left you to painstakingly have to find a new set of clothes, just to make babysitting Azula and her friends so much easier. Despite finally being back on track with your mission, it didn’t make it any less tedious as you followed from a distance in the shadows. “So, we’re tracking down your brother and uncle, huh?”

“It’ll be interesting seeing Zuko again, won’t it Mai?” Huh? Is that coal brains girlfriend or something?

Azula spoke up at that comment, “It’s not just Zuko and Iroh anymore. We have a third target now.” You have got to be fucking joking. I guess I better start finding my inner peace after all, you know, so I don’t blow her FUCKING BRAINS OUT!

a/n: hehe thank you so much for reading!!! what did you think?? hehe i know its been a while so im kinda rusty so pls let me know your thoughts or any feedback!! hehe i know this wasnt that juicy and kinda short but ive got a lot planned so dw hehe we’ll get there ;)

taglist: @slythergirlimagines​​ @mangoberry43​​ @eridanuswave​​ @whiskeywinter89​​​ @kaylove12​​ @simplyfandomish​​ @khaleesi-of-assassins​ @callums-keith​ @ilovespideyyy​ @calciumcow​ @blackhood5sos​ @nnon-it-up​ @lozzybowe​ @scarletemeterio​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @simpinforsukka​ @chewymoustachio​ @tiffy119​ @spearbatty​ @sokkassuki​

[jobean12-blog]

Ooof jo I’m gonna need a second part for hungry eyes

Hungry Eyes (part 2) 

Pairing: Beefy Bucky x reader 

Word Count: 746

Summary: You and Bucky find yourself in a safe house after a mission. It only has one bed...and it’s very small!

Author’s Note: This is the second part to Hungry Eyes (and one very small bed) that you can read here I literally picked up right where I left off and combined this with my kink for the HBC’s @the-ss-horniest-book-club week of kinks and 2k follower celebration! Beefy Bucky is a real kink and I LOVE HIM! You don’t have to read the first part of course but it does give you a background and some delicious beefy Bucky lovin’! Sorry this took so long anon, thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy! Thank you all for reading! Love always! ❤❤❤

Warnings: Filthy smut (one small bed trope lol) at first but it’s super fluffy sweet and fun at the end! (18+ eyes only)

Week of Kinks Masterlist

Day 1: Bow ties and neck: Keep Quiet

Day 2: Beard and floofy Hair: Plum Lovin’

Day 3: Knife: An Edge in the Kitchen

Day 4: Metal arm and choking: Mind Over Metal 

Bucky’s words send a new wave of wetness flooding between your thighs, his large hands securing themselves at your waist. He rocks his hips again, digging his fingers into your soft flesh, “fuck, baby, I can’t wait to be inside you again.” You reach behind to grasp his hard cock, lowering yourself onto him slowly.

Placing your hands on his broad chest you use the leverage to lift yourself up, watching his face when you slowly sink back down. “Bucky, oh my god. This feels amazing.” His lips are parted with heavy breaths as he brings his hands up to your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers and massaging the tender flesh.

You rake your hands down his chest and over his abs, your eyes fixed on the hard planes of his muscles as the contract with each thrust. Taking one of his hands by the wrist you bring it to your neck as a silent plea. A low growl rips through him before he gently closes his hand around your throat, your eyes closing as he applies light pressure.

Your fingers move down his arm and trace over the muscles, his bicep bulging under your grip. The combined pleasure of every bounce on his cock and his hand around your throat have you close to cumming for a third time.

The headboard repeatedly bangs into the wall as the small bed scrapes along the wood floor of the cabin. Bucky meets each roll of your hips with his own, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. His heated gaze rakes over your body, “I wanna see you touch yourself while you ride me, baby.”

Sucking your bottom lip between your teeth you slide your hand down your stomach, gasping when you make contact with your clit. Bucky’s hand tightens slightly around your throat and your finger starts rolling over the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Your breasts bounce as you fuck yourself on his cock, Bucky’s hand releasing your neck and gripping your hips once again. “Come on, doll, I wanna feel you cum.” You feel the pressure build at Bucky’s words, your walls tightening around him as you scream out, your voice echoing through the cabin.

Bucky’s deep voice carries over yours as he cums in a flurry of curses and groans, his hips slowing as you both try to catch your breath. You collapse onto his chest, its rapid rise and fall lifting your whole body. His hands fall to your ass, smoothing over the soft skin before he grabs a handful. “That was incredible.”

You’re barely able to nod, simply nuzzling into his chest. You roll yourself off him, falling to the side and cuddling further into him. When you finally open your eyes, you peek up to find Bucky looking at you, his eyes soft and his smile sweet. Hooking your thigh over his legs you wiggle your toes against his skin, laughing when he lets out a yelp.

“You don’t want to start a tickle war with me doll. You’re asking for trouble.” With a sly smirk you pick you head up and look toward his toes, realizing that his feet are hanging completely off the bed. “Wow, this really is a small bed!” you exclaim, giggling and dancing your fingers up Bucky’s stomach. His ab muscles flex under your touch and your tongue darts out to lick your lips.

Bucky grabs your wrist, “you’re asking for it, doll,” he teases before flipping you onto your back and attacking your sides with his fingers. You try to curl into a ball but to no avail, his large body easily covering yours as he continues to poke and tickle everywhere. “Bucky! STOP! Please!” you try to say between your laughter. Pushing with your knees you attempt to push him off but instead you tangle your legs together and tumble off the bed.

“Oof,” Bucky says as he lands with a grunt, cradling your body to his. “Are you ok, are you hurt?” Parting your hair from your eyes you look down at him and burst into a fit of giggles. “I’m fine! Anddddd I think I WIN! I knocked you off the bed and landed on top!” He stares for a second, his features impassive, before lifting you both off the floor in one swift motion and dropping you on the bed. “Oh, I don’t think so, doll!” he whispers, before his fingers find your sides once again.

@aesthetical-bucky @auro-ora @azurika-writes @book-dragon-13 @buckys-broody-muffin @bugsbucky @devynsdiary @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @hailmary-yramliah @hawksmagnolia @ikaris-whore @itsunclebucky @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @loricameback @littledarlinhavefaithinme @littleredstarfish @mushyjellybeans @marvelandotherfandomimagines @marvelgirl7 @nano--raptor @randomfandompenguin @sallycanwait68 @softpeachbarnes @scarletsoldierrr @the-wayward-robot @when-the-hell-is-bucky @metal-armed-cuddly-dork 

[color-ns]

Anddddd the art raffle ended! Sorry if you wanted to participate and saw it after today. There is always next milestone! If you want me to do this again. ;)

Anywho, here are the winners!!!!

Third place is @ask-undermine second is @nosebleed-inglishera and first is @n0vathew0lf. These are the very lucky winners!!

I actually asked two of my friends including @amemi-i to pick a number between 1 and 10 and they had no idea I was actually picking the winners lol. That way I had nothing to do with picking the winners and it was very fair.

If you don’t respond or say anything about what you want until 2021 I’ll pick someone else.

Have a good midnight and happy holidays!

[whatadaze]

day 4: favorite ship: noah boom + liv reijners

warning: this will be long and chaotic and 98% of it probably won’t make sense

I thought about not writing this but I started a couple days ago and just couldn’t stop myself. And yes, I made two posts for today but that’s how passionate I am ya know? lol...and if it isn’t obvious by now i literally have no life + post shit no one cares about :-) 

This will be long so viewer discretion is advised.

Noah and Liv are good for each other. 

That isn’t to say they don’t have flaws, but overall they just work. In OG skam, it was emphasized over and over again that William and Noora were very different, but it’s those differences that drew them together and for them, that worked. In the case of Noah + Liv, if they were too different from each other I don’t think their relationship would have the same dynamic as it does now.

I mean, this whole season starts off LITERALLY showing the viewers how similar they are with their morning routines. The clip feels cohesive and whole, nothing seeming out of place and as they flip back and forth from liv to noah, everything transitions very smoothly. So in a literal sense, noah and liv are similar in their ~aesthetic~ (lol), with very vintage-y, hipster styles. 

But it’s so much more than the physical stuff!!! 

Here’s what I mean: 

1) Liv and Noah are both artists and musicians. We haven’t seen Liv draw much in season 2, but it was shown in season 1 that she can draw (look @ her insta for her sketch of imaan <3) + she’s also musically talented. Noah has a guitar so it can be assumed that he can play (unless that really is a tool to get girls lol) + he’s an artist. They both have similar interests and I’m looking forward to seeing how their passions intertwine in the future because i stg if we don’t get SOMETHING where they are using their talents together in a clip, I will riot. Also, an interesting thing to note is that when Liv is stressed or upset, she seems to push music away. It causes more stress for her. But with Noah, he seems to immerse himself in his art even more. We see that when Liv finally sees him in the funeral clip. He hides himself away in his room + sketches while the guests are all downstairs for the viewing. (don’t know how that fits into this but i always thought that was interesting) 

2) They are both lonely. Yes, they both have their own group of friends but we’re all familiar with the phrase “you can be in a crowded room full of people and still feel utterly alone”. We see Liv isolate herself a few times throughout the season. The first, when she steps out for a bit during Jayden’s welcome party. Then again when she leaves Isa with the boys and goes to her room. Another when she calls her dad and gets upset in her room while her friends are out in the living room. We can see her feel alone when she’s with her friends—when she finds out about Noah’s mom, when their getting their nails done, and during the benefit—her mind is not where it should be as it continues to drift off to Noah. She’s alone because in this moment, she has no one to confide in. Noah has his friends, Gijs and Micha, but we rarely see them together. In fact, most of the times we see Noah is when he’s alone (or with Liv :-)). One thing I actually enjoyed about OG skam was the friendship b/w penatrator chris + william. Yes, they were both two fuckboys but you just knew right away that they were best friends. With Gijs and Noah I don’t really get that vibe (but maybe they’ll explore that later??? although i doubt it bc we running out of time :( ) And we see Noah isolate himself even more after his mother’s passing—literally—by closing himself off from Liv and holing himself up in his room.

3) That brings me to the third point: they both avoid seeking help. Liv is the mother of the group. She takes care of them, gives them advice, and is always looking out for them. But rarely do we see her be the one to ask for help. She doesn’t tell her friends what’s really bothering her and when Isa notices that she’s been acting weird lately, Liv tries to brush it off. Liv’s way of coping is to simply hide her true emotions, put on a brave face, and wait until she’s alone to really act on her feelings. She doesn’t express frustration to her dad even though we see her visibly upset. She writes in her journal about having a shitty day and then steps out of her room with a smile on her face. It isn’t until she begins worrying about Noah that she finally asks for help. We can see that it’s hard for her to do so, but she finally does! Noah is the same way. When he finally needs someone to lean on, he isolates himself. When Liv finally goes to him, he pushes her away and tells her he doesn’t need her pity. His first thought is that Liv isn’t there to be with him but because she feels bad for him. This shows that he’s not used to people genuinely being there for him + caring about him. Liv sees through that BS and stays by his side, and the look on Noah’s face when he realizes she’s staying is enough proof that he needed someone by his side all along. 

4) And my final point is the way both communicate. I’d say both are pretty outspoken individuals and they don’t really hold anything back. From the very beginning, it’s very clear that Noah is interested in Liv and he has always been honest + open with her about that (even though she wasn’t too happy). He had never tried to trick her or blackmail her (and no, i don’t consider the date a blackmail). Noah never used Engel (no, i don’t consider that phone call as him using her) and he tells her that he wants to know what would make her believe that he is serious about her. He directly tells Liv that he is tired of the game between them and even GIVES UP. ANDDDDD MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL he IS HONEST ABOUT HIS BROTHER!!!! Liv is also pretty outspoken and from the very beginning, we see that she isn’t afraid to speak her mind. She tells people how it is, makes it clear to Noah when she doesn’t want him pursuing her the way he did (going by her house which BTW HE STOPPED RIGHT AWAY) and went to noah’s house ON HER OWN with the sole purpose of seeing him AND STAYED WHEN HE PUSHED HER AWAY. So we have two characters who are very open about what they want/don’t want, and like to express their opinions (i.e.: conversation during their first date) and what i LOVED is during the clip w/ their first kiss, liv doesn’t list all these things she didn’t like about Noah. She knew that what she was feeling was true, but she didn’t think that what she felt was the right thing (going back to the whole liv being the mom and looking out for everyone else). And what does Noah do? He says he understands. Because he does. And from their first date, I think Liv knew that Noah was able to read her in a way even her close friends couldn’t. 

YOU KNOW WHY!? 

BECAUSE THEY’RE THE SAME.

So what makes them work? 

Liv helps Noah learn that not everyone that cares about him is doing so out of pity. That there are people who care and want to help him. We see that especially during the funeral clip. Before they go to sleep, he asks Liv if she likes him, and he has this faint smile on his lips when he realizes that she really is there because she wants to be. Liv learns to ask for help from others because she wants to help him but doesn’t know what to do. And in the next few episodes, we will see Liv being the one to push Noah away (*cries*)  when she needs him most and she will have to learn to accept help during a time when all she will want to do is be alone. 

Another important theme in their relationship is trust. From the very first date, the topic of trust has been brought up over and over again. Noah tells Liv that he doesn’t know her well enough to trust her, Liv responds with “Maybe” when he asks if he can trust her. And after they get together, he tells Liv that he can’t wait until she can trust him. I don’t think that was his way of saying “i want you to trust me so that you have sex with me” it was a genuine desire on his end for her to fully trust him. And so when that trust breaks, it will cause a huge rift between them (*cries again*).

Anyway, that was me going off topic for a bit. 

IN CONCLUSION, Liv + Noah challenge each other. It’s what draws them to one another, whether they like it or not. Noah’s life seemed pretty mundane before Liv and even as a character I have to admit that he was kinda dull and I was initially indifferent about him when he was introduced. But after Liv went off on him and we begin seeing a different side of him (someone who is playful, makes jokes, and obviously doesn’t know how to flirt), we start to view him as more than some fuck boy who wants what he seemingly can’t have. And it was a good decision on skamnl’s part to slowly develop their relationship because we know that Liv is not the type to quickly fall for someone she was not into just one season ago. This slow development is what makes us as viewers also fall in love with Noah, grow attached to Liv, and witness these two beautiful people open up to each other and fall in love 

(*bawling now*). 

People usually say opposites attract, but I think that what Liv and Noah share in common is what pulls them towards each other. Liv is used to being alone, being the one who takes care of others, and doesn’t like being a burden to others. Noah pushes his way into her life, and when she needs him most, he will be there for her. Noah is also used to being alone, and before Liv, I think he liked it that way. He had an indifferent attitude about everything and when he wanted something, he usually got it. Liv challenges him, and I think he sees a bit of himself in her. When they’re on their date, Liv asks him what he thinks of her. He says that he thinks she’s reserved, likes to be in control, and doesn’t trust people easily—and all of this is true—but as we learn more about Noah, we see that he’s the same way as well. 

When Liv + Noah are together, they express their true feelings + emotions, which is why their interactions seem so raw and genuine. They get mad and frustrated at times, but they’re also genuinely happy. The emotions they’d usually push aside come out whenever they are with one another. Liv doesn’t hide how she’s feeling + Noah doesn’t either. Liv doesn’t feel the need to be in control around him because the moment she tries to be, Noah challenges her back (and vice versa). And although neither of them have verbalized it yet, we as viewers can see how much they trust each other already. They’ve seen each other in their most vulnerable states and that wouldn’t have occurred if there was no trust involved. 

also, side note:

i’m not saying that liv + noah are mirror copies of each other. of course they have some differences (i.e.: see example of their reactions to music/art when stressed) and while liv + noah are both outspoken, I’d say the way they choose to express themselves differ as well. liv is loud—whether it be through her voice or body language—she just has this strong, bold presence about her. noah seems more reserved (vocally and physically) so when he does say something, it’s usually super impactful. there are probably a lot more similarities + differences but honestly i don’t have all day so i’ll end it here lol 

OK WOW. 

So if you actually read all of this, I apologize for anything that didn’t make sense (which was probably all of it tbh) and I owe you a huge thank you and a gold star. I just have a lot of feelings and used this challenge as an excuse to write it all down.

noliv4ever 

[skizmin]

Ravenclaw Woojin

genre: fluff of course, sorta?? enemies to lovers but?? not really???, an adamant y/n and a soft woojin,,,, none of the other members appear which i didnt even realise until i finished

okay so woojin is ravenclaws most trusted prefect as hes the eldest one and literally does The Most to make himself available for others

seriously once he asked the defence against the dark arts professor for a 2 week extension on his assignment so he could tutor 5 people for the upcoming charms exam 

like,,,,,,,, damn

anyway so you actually do this extended course of charms, youre in the same class as woojin and for some reason??? the fact that hes so naturally good at it pisses you off

especially when youre falling slightly behind in that class

okay a LOt behind

your like,, only friend in that class is dropping it next term to focus on her divination classes and she doesn’t get it either but it doesnt affect her grades not nearly as much as it affects yours. 

shes all “dude just ask for woojin to tutor you” and youre like 

No NO no

no way are you being tutored by kim woojin. the idea just embarrasses you

you’re usually fine with getting help from peers but woojin?? everyone goes to him for tutoring and you sorta just dont??? wanna put yourself into that group???

you feel like it makes you inferior to him for some reason which is the worst feeling ever

(even tho you totally arent bc youre beating him in potions anyway)

anyway so its a wednesday morning and the class is about to end to allow the students to go have breakfast (you know how extended courses are out of normal school times ye??)

you’re tired as fuck

confused as fuck

hungry as fuck

everything as fuck

but then “y/n!” called you to your senses and you stopped packing your things

your professor had just called you up, an ancient tiny little man who was apart of the great battle of hogwarts some time ago

“yes sir?”

“come here would you?” 

you shoved your ink jar into your bag and nodded, walking out from behind your desk and saying bye to your friend who was leaving already

god she really did hate this class you thought lmao

the majority of the students were still packing their things away in a slow drawl probably instigated by the dim, sleepy light of the chilly morning

“anything i can help you with?” you awkwardly asked your professor who smiled at you, stepping down from his place standing on books to look up at you

“yes actually, ive noticed you’re falling behind.”

you cringed, hard, not even wanting to turn around and see who was watching

“i suggest you get a tutor if you wanna get an A for this semester, y/n.”

“sir, i don’t have time to be tutored!”

“well then i guess you’re going to fail this course y/n. just be tutored enough to catch you up on the syllabus and then i can help you with the rest, okay?”

you internally groaned. this was bad

“you’re smart, it’ll only be about 2 weeks before youre caught up. im sure theres plenty of people that would tutor you.”

you nodded and politely fare-welled the teacher before turning to walk out of the classroom

the classroom was surprisingly empty, and you were happy to see that, not really excited about your professor sharing the fact that you were failing the course

sighing to yourself, you walked out of the door, planning to go meet your friends in the great hall

“hey! wait! y/n!” 

you whipped around, half scared to death

the halls were practically empty yet

there was kim woojin

standing right next to the doorway you had just exited

your head tipped back. had he really been standing there the whole time?

“do you wanna meet tonight or something? we can go to the library?”

you gave him a pointed stare

“what? why?”

woojin was a little taken aback, he grew smaller under your gaze.

“oh, so i can- you know, tutor you? i heard you were behind by a bit.”

he looked almost embarrassed at how you were responding to his offer as you sharpened your gaze on him

“i dont need you to tutor me. i can find someone else.”

and with that you left a frowning, dumbfounded woojin standing in the hallway as you stalked off to the great hall

stupid woojin

who did he think he was asking you to meet him in the library

surely you can catch up on your own, you really dont need his help. you’re like, shaking your head lmao

smh

but anyway, the end of the day comes and you grab all these phat stacks of parchment and take you study charm books to the library and sit at the farthest ever table away from literally everyone

you start studying properties of all the spells youve learnt this second term

you get to the third spell, aparecium, one youve been having a lot of trouble remembering

you groaned, looking up in your book what exactly the spell meant and remembering it was in fact a revealing charm and you didnt have any pages with invisible ink on them. 

you began flipping further into the book, trying to find the incantation for concealing ink writing so you could practise 

“h-here.” 

you fuCKING LEAPED IN YOUR SEAT

BITCH TF

THAT SCARED YOu oh my god what was he doing here

“s-sorry for scaring you b-but, its got concealed writing on it so you can, like- practise?”

he sounded sorta hopeful as he slid the paper over to you, hands nervously twining with each other in front of him afterwards

your pride was getting to you tho so

“i’m good at that spell, i don’t need to practise it.”

woojin blinked and squinted at you a little, trying to figure out whether or not you were lying

“ooookayyyy. anyway, anything else you want help with? i can explain it a little bit for you?”

you resisted the MASSIVE urge to roll your eyes at him

we get it, youre good at this

“im okay, thanks.”

you expect woojin to leave then, and it seems he does too as he stutters in his movement before clenching his eyes shut

“do you not l-like me or something? or did i-, did i do something to you?” he peeked an eye open to gauge your reaction

he looked almost

scared?

oh no, oh no

what was this guilt? you could feel your glare softening in an instant

why are you liKE THIS

“n-no! i dont!” you stuttered out a reply, eyes widening slightly

and then, he smiled. and he smiled wide

you felt blinded almost, your heart started palpitating. so this is what it was like to have woojin smile at you, and you only.

you were fucked

“oh! okay then! sorry i just-, i just thought i’d annoyed you or something so..” he trailed off, tapping his shoe on the ground suddenly very interested in the lamp on the library desk

“anyway!” he spoke up again. “i’ll uh, i’ll leave you to it. and don’t forget to practise aparecium. it’ll be on the next test for sure.” he grinned at you again and you sorta maybe might have felt heat crawling to your cheeks.

“t-thanks woojin.”

he nodded at you, still smiling before leaving

you banged your head on the table, what in the world was that interaction

whilst burying your face in your hands you noticed he had left the enchanted paper with you, you shrugged

might as well use it, right?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, shit

1 and a half hours later yu were groaning out of pure frustration with yourself. no matter how perfectly you practised the incantation or how directly you swished your wand at the page, nothing appeared

no writing or anything

you were beginning to wonder if woojin gave you the right piece of parchment, that this was the one with the invisible ink

you shook your head, looking at the clock closest to you and deciding it was too late to be studying and that your brain mustnt be working right,

you packed up your stuff and went back to your dorm, making sure to get as good a sleep as possible because you had another extension charms lesson tomorrow morning

,,,

anyway so you woke up late in the morning with a sore neck and red eyes. 

this was Not Good

quickly tugging on your robes and frantically shoving things into your bag whilst brushing your teeth you rushed out of you dormitory and ran all the way to the charms classroom

you ran in out of breath, your professor looking at you with an unimpressed look. “glad to see you could make it y/n.” he drawled before turning back to the blackboard

you whined as you saw him writing a test warning for 2 weeks time, sleepily stumping your way over to your friend who was laughing at you loudly

unpacking your things, you glanced around the room. eyes landing on woojin who had a hand resting under his chin staring right back at you

your cheeks went a bit red when he smiled at you, giving you a small wave before turning his head to the board again

your friend next to you shoved you a little bit, when your turned your head you face her she simply mouthed an i saw that

you rolled your eyes and paid attention to the rest of the lesson without any distractions

anddddd thennnnnn it was over

you blinked, your notes were cleaner today than usual

“hey, y/n!” you looked up to find woojin standing in front of your desk, toothy grin on his face as per usual

your heart sorta skipped a beat before you were able to tell it not to

“hey woojin :))” you smiled, trying your best to sound friendly whilst not looking like an absolute fool

he sorta squinted at you a bit before “so uh, how was studying?”

it was your turn to look at him sceptically this time

“it was,,,,,, good??” you questioned, unsure of how to respond

woojins smile sorta falters before coming back with a somewhat sad lilt to it

“ah, right. well i gotta go. my friends are waiting.” and with that he nodded at you and left

you were confused as fuck

well, that was certainly weird

anyway, for the next week and 3 days, woojin completely avoided you

you’d be fine with this of course if you hadnt gotten that little soft spot for him a while back

it sorta hurt when your smiled at him and he sorta just sadly smiled back and looked away, or if you were gonna say hi to him he’d scurry away before one word could leave your mouth

you were really down about it honestly

bUT you also didnt have time to worry about it

your test was in FOUR. DAYS. 

AND you had studied everything else to the best of your ability apaRT from the revealing charm, aparecium.

you wanted to cry, no one could explain it well enough to you and you could say the incantation right bc everyone spoke too fast and apparently you had to use it MULTIPLE times on the tes to maKE QUESTIONS APPEAR. 

QUESTIONS

INVISIBLE QUESTIONS THAT COUNT TOWARDS YOUR MARK

basically, you were having a mental breakdown and you knew there was only one person left to try and explain it to you

kim woojin

again, he was A V O I D I N G    Y O U

which made you angry bc you neED TO GET AN A

anyway, so your class on a tuesday was an afternoon class and you sorta just planned to corner him there after class

flitwick usually left 10 minutes early to arrive at his choir practises on time and put a charm on the door so no student could leave early

so the time comes, the bells ring and students rush out of the class you go and lie in their beds or whatever most teenagers do nowadays

and you make your way over to woojin’s desk as he packs up his things, he was always the last to leave

you coughed to get his attention, when he looked up his eyes widened

“i need your help.” you stated, eyes boring into his, you could swear you saw pink flush over his cheeks

“im uh, im busy. sorry y/n-”

“just one charm? please? i really need it, no one else can explain it.”

woojins eyes softened and he bit his lip. he was contemplating.

“okay.” you smiled at him widely “lets try now, okay?”

you nodded, placing you bag down and grabbing out some enchanted pieces of parchemnt, including the one he gave you

you sat down next to him and he look confused

“whats the paper for?”

“the aparecium charm.” you replied simply, turning to face him

a look of realisation dawned over his face

“i thought you said you were good at that charm?” he muttered

you looked at him weird, why was he acting so strange?

“i lied, i didnt want help back then but i do now. so,”

and then he grinned widely, taking a piece of paper that wasnt the one he gave you and telling you to watch closely

“aparecium.” he said, clearly. swishing his wand almost expertly

you looked at the paper in front of you and saw the writing of hello appear on it in your cursive handwriting

you looked up at him in aw.

“can you say it again? slowly? i dont think im pronouncing it right.”

woojin giggled

G I G G L E D

and repeated himself, clear and slow. you nodded at him, taking a random piece of paper and clearing your throat

“wait!” woojin yelped “use this one!” 

you furrowed your brows as he shoved the piece of paper he gave you in the library in front of you

“uh, okay?” you replied, glancing up at his smile

clearing your throat again, you swished you wand and spoke clearly. “aparecium.”

nothing happened to the paper and you groaned loudly

“oh, y/n, your pronunciation is perfect. its the swish thats wrong.”

you bored your eyes into him “what?”

“youre doing it this way. youre supposed to do it this way” he flourished his wand to demonstarte to you the wrong doing

you still furrowed your brow, not really seeing the difference between the two

“here, i’ll show you”

o hMY GOD HE 

HE JUST GRABBED YOUR HAND HOLY SHIT

SIRENS CALL THE AMBULANCE

YOU REALLY ALMOST CHOKED ON AIR

suddenly you felt fire all over. red surely covering your face as you tried to concentrate but holY SHIT

“okay so youre going like this.” he moved your hand in his own, making out the movement you made before

“but you should be doing this.” 

o h

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

now you get it

you wanted to bang your head on the table for being so dumb about it

“oH RIGHT! woojin you’re literally a life saver!”

he laughed again, retracting his hand from yours as red splashed over his cheeks and onto his ears

“well, go on! try it!

you smiled, looking down at the paper and saying a strong and clear incantation whilst moving your wand exactly how woojin showed you to

you squeALED in excitement as ink dotted onto the page! 

you grabbed woojin by the forearm and raised it above both of your heads in celebration

he laughed and cheered along with you before you settled down, beginning your massive thank you speech.

“seriously i couldnt have done it without your help i could have faile-”

“y/n, read it.” woojin smiled at you

“what?” you replied, confused

“read the parchment.”

eyebrows furrowing once again you looked down at the parchment with now visible ink

do you wanna maybe go to hogsmeade with me this weekend?

your eyes widened

no way

no way no way no way

you snapped your eyes up to meet his

this is why he avoided you! he thought youd rejected him in such a selfish cold hearted way!

“i’ve uh, actually liked you for a while. we missed last weekend but im down to go next weekend if you want?”

“i- i, i mean, y-you! of course! i’ll go with you, yeah! oh my god i am so sorry you mustve thought i was such a bitch i shouldnt have lied im an awf-”

oh my fUCKING GOD

CODE FUCKING RED HIS HANDS WHERE ON YOUR CHEEKS

AND HIS LIPS ON YOURS

BREATHING? WHOS SHE

your eyes clenched shut as you reached to grab the front of his robes, kissing him back

you felt so goddamn dizzy, your mind cloudy at the absolute bliss of the feeling of his lips and how they moved against yours

he started smiling against you and had to pull away, his eyes glimmering and heart beating out of his chest

“i’ll pick you up at your dorms at 10, okay?”

god, youve never smiled harder.

[lindseyluvsdrag]

It Takes Two Ch.1

Third installment of my Knocked Up series. Parts 1 & 2 here

Warning: Smut, violence, the tears of an advanced 2.5 year old

Ignore any typos :)

“Matthewwww!” Violet shouted from the couch. “Hurry up, it's starting!”

“I'm comin’!” the man replied as he snatched the bag of popcorn from the microwave. It was a little premature but he dumped the contents into a bowl before rushing back into the living room. He jumped over the back of the couch and landed onto his favorite spot next to his wife.

Their two year old daughter had spread her favorite Storm blanket onto the hardwood floor and was sprawled out next to her best friend, Shea. Her Aunt Raven watched the woman through judgemental eyes.

“Why is she even here?” she asked her wife.

“Because the Lents like her. Hell, she used to be one of them.”

Raven cringed. “That's so disgusting, like, shel shouldn't be here. Just because she speaks comic book, doesn't give her the right to call our Goddaughter her ‘best friend’. Do you know how weird that is?”

Naomi exhaled in expression. “She's a really nice lady and Violet wanted her here for the viewing so just get over it.”

“Ssshhhhh!” Violet demanded as she turned up the volume on the TV.

“This week on Bridezillas!” the narrator announced. “Meet Violet.”

Footage of the woman flashed across the screen. “I'm Violet Chachki and I'm a one of a kind collectable. I'm veryyyy visually appealing.”

“A New York fashionista by day and a tyrant by night.”

Violet gasped. “Tyrant?! I was not a tyrant!”

“Matthew! Matthewwww! You’re so full of shit, Matthew! *Bleep* you, Matthew!” They showed  clips of the woman shouting that had be edited together to create a montage of her greatness. “I want chocolate cake! Bloated?! No! Get the fuck away from me! Naomi! Na-o-mi! Naomiiiiiii!”

Matt burst into laughter.

“She'll take you on a rollercoaster ride and leave you with a surprise ending that you'll have to see to believe.”

“We got a runaway bride, y'all!”

They'd edited Raven's voice over the footage of Violet and Naomi sprinting down the busy New York street.

“Coming up on Bridezillassss!”

“This is going to be so good,” Matt said as he stuffed his mouth with popcorn.

“I want some too!” Clark declared.

“Open,” Matt replied.

His daughter obliged. She opened her mouth and allowed her father to toss popcorn kernels into in.

“Yum-my,” she said when he managed to land the first few pieces perfectly.

Violet frowned. “Matthew, I don't want her to choke.”

Matt passed the entire bowl over to his daughter before wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulder and pulling her close so that he could kiss her temple.

Raven rolled her eyes and stormed into the kitchen. The woman popped open the first bottle of wine that she could find, pressed it to her lips and turned it upside down. A voice behind her shortly thereafter made her jump.

“I would ask you to share, but I'm trying to get pregnant and drinking is against doctor's orders,” Shea joked.

Raven scowled. “As if I'd share anything with you.”

The woman defensively raised her hands while she grabbed the popcorn that Clark had asked her to make. She placed the packet into the microwave and pressed the corresponding button.

“Why are you here?” the woman pressed. “Dealing with Matthew is bad enough, but to bring his baggage into my best friend's house is just too much for me.”

“I'm here because Violet invited me. We've actually gotten really close since the wedding, especially since she gifted me with her Paris tickets.”

“You've known her for like five minutes.”

“I mean, that's all it takes to get to know someone. That and a little shopping at Neiman's.”

“Yo-You’ve gone shopping together?”

“Oh, plenty of times,” Shea said truthfully. “We even looked at potential furniture for the nursery.”

“Maybe she just feels bad that you can't have a baby,” Raven hissed.

Out of respect for the Lent’s home, the woman remained calm. “Is that so? Maybe she feels bad that neither can your wife.” Shea didn't even wait for the microwave to beep before she popped the hatch, grabbed the bag and casually exited the room.

Raven saw nothing but red as she flung the wine bottle at the other woman. It landed against her head in a loud thump.

Everything after that was a blur. The woman's tunnelled vision was paired with echoing yells and Clark's cries. When Raven finally snapped out of the trance, she realized that she'd made it home. Naomi was seated in the corner across the room, knocking the ashes off of the cigarette that she puffed on.

“Have you come to your fucking senses yet?”

“What happened?” Raven asked.

“You nearly killed Shea!”

“No, babe, she said some really fucked up shit!”

“Like what? Tell me what is horrible enough to get a bottle thrown at your head! And don't lie because I know your ass started it.”

“As a matter of fact, I was defending your ass! She was saying how she shops with Vi and how they're the best of friends and I was brutally honest with her. I told her that Vi probably just feels bad that she can't have kids and she was all like well neither can your wife. How was I supposed to respond to that?!”

“Seriously, Raven? If you're going to be with me, you have to develop a tougher skin than that. I heard crap like that, and way worse, growing up. You can't attack everyone who talks shit. You can't attack the world.”

“If the world tries to hurt you, I will.”

Naomi sighed as she extinguished the cancer stick. “I appreciate the gesture, but that's not how the world works.” The woman pushed herself out of her seat. “Get your coat.”

Raven frowned. “Where are we going?”

“To get some flowers, then to the hospital.”

---

“I walk out of the kitchen and the next thing I know is that I'm seeing stars,” Shea joked. “Like goddamn, is this what I get for undercooking the popcorn?”

Matt and Violet laughed.

“Only you could make a situation like this funny,” the man said.

Clark climbed from the foot of the bed to Shea's side. “Are you sureee you're okay?”

“Besides being a little dizzy, yes, I'm fine.”

“But what about this?” the girl asked as she gently touched the gauze bandage around the woman's head.

“It only hurts a little but I'll be fine, Clark. How are you feeling?”

“Still scared,” she sniffled. “I never saw a lot of blood on the floor before.”

Matt frowned and pulled his daughter into an embrace. “It's okay, boo,” he cooed as he rocked her.

There was a knock on the door before the doctor entered the room.

“So, I have some blood work results. I'm not sure if you want it shared privately or…”

“No, it's fine. What's up?”

“Okay, so, your blood work shows that you have very low iron levels. You're pretty much anemic.”

Shea frowned. “Um, okay, so what does that mean?”

“It means that you've been trying to conceive a baby, but research has shown that women who don’t get enough iron can develop anovulation. That is the lack of ovulating during the menstrual cycle. Low iron levels may also affect the health of the egg to be fertilized. It can diminish your ability to get pregnant by as much as sixty percent.”

“Sixty?! Holy sparkles,” she said, her new cuss word replacement whilst around Clark. “So what do I have to do to fix it?”

“I'm prescribing you some iron pills and recommending food rich in iron and other minerals to help you and the baby out.”

Her eyes grew wide. “B-Baby?”

“Oh, yes. Your blood work also shows that you're currently pregnant.”

“Oh my God!”

“Are we seriously going to be those friends that are knocked up at the same time?!” Violet laughed before hugging the woman. “Congratulations!”

It was a bittersweet moment for Matt. He squeezed his ex's hand. “Congrats.”

The gears in Clark's head were obviously turning. “So there's a baby in Miss Shea's stomach too?”

“Allegedly,” Shea replied.

The girl wrinkled her nose. “How does the baby get in the stomach?”

“Anddddd that's my cue,” Matt said as he turned on his heel and exited the room with the girl in his arms. “Want a soft pretzel?”

“Yes!”

The women burst into laughter.

“The universe works in the craziest ways because we literally just looked at furniture for nurseries,” Violet said. “Now you get to pick out your own.”

“I wouldn't be so quick about this. I've been pregnant before and it usually ends horribly.”

“This one won't,” Violet assured. “We'll keep you on those pills and make sure you eat nickels or some shit.”

“Aww, I love nickels!”

The women cackled just as Naomi hesitantly  entered the room. She cleared her throat before she spoke. “I can't express how sorry I am that this happened to you. Because I'm married to Raven, I automatically bare some of the responsibilities for her mistakes. And from the bottom of my heart, I'm truly sorry,” she sniffled.

“You're married to a goddamn neanderthal, sweetheart,” Shea replied. “And I swear that whenever I see her again, I'm going to kill her. I hope that you have life insurance on her, I hope that you have a burial plot for her and I hope that you have a little black dress ready to wear because I'm literally going to stomp her into the ground- as a matter of fact, you won't even need a funeral home to do the job for you. I’m going to bury that bitch,” she fumed.

“No, no,” Violet intervened. “You won't be doing anything like that.”

“Violet, I understand that she's one of your best friends but she threw a full fucking bottle of wine at my head! I have twenty stitches because of her!”

“I know and it's not even about her being my friend, Shea. You're pregnant.”

Naomi nauseously clutched her abdomen. “You're pregnant?” she wheezed out.

“She is,” Violet responded.

“Oh, God,” Naomi panted.

Her friend pushed herself out of her seat. “Are you okay?”

“No! How am I supposed to feel knowing that Raven has attacked this poor pregnant woman 'in my honor’?!”

“To be fair, I didn't know that I was pregnant until a few minutes ago.”

“It’s not fair,” Naomi sniffled. “She shouldn't be attacking people to begin with and I just feel terrible.”

“Where is she?” Violet asked.

“I told her to wait in the lobby. I wasn't sure if you wanted to see her.”

“Not really,” Shea admitted.

“Me either,” Violet said. “For one, she disrespected my home. Two, she traumatized my fucking daughter, which is damn near unforgivable. Three, she ruined my Bridezilla viewing party and my hardwood floors. Four, she left like an idiot without a goddamn apology.”

“Would you guys be willing to accept an apology from her now?”

Shea casually checked her nails while Violet mindlessly twirled a strand of her hair. “No,” they said collectively before laughing.

Naomi was heartbroken. “That's fair. Um, I guess I'll get going. I hope you feel better soon, Shea. Vi... I'll call you later.”

“Alright, sweetie.” Violet kissed her friend on the cheek before turning back to Shea. “We have to figure out how far along you are! Come to my gyno’s office.”

“I'm down.”

“Do you think our morning sickness will be synced up?”

Shea laughed. “Let’s hope not. But seeing you throw up would totally make me throw up, though.”

“Well, we can't both vomit at the same time. Who will hold back our hair?”

The question was trivial but it hit Naomi in a way that reminded her that she'd never experience  pregnancy or be able to have sweet moments like this with her best friend. With tears in her eyes, she slipped out of the room and made her way towards the lobby where Raven greeted her.

“What happened?”

“Shea is pregnant.”

The woman gulped. “I didn't... I didn't hurt the baby, did I?”

“No. I mean, as far as I know. But God, Raven. Why do you have to be so fucking psychotic?!” Naomi stormed pass her wife and out of the hospital doors but Raven was quick on her heels.

“I'm not psychotic!”

“You burn things and you attack people, what else would you call that?!”

“Protective!”

“Oh, yeah,” she scoffed. “Protect me from my best friend who now hates you and wants hardly anything to do with me because of it.”

Raven paused. “Vi hates me?”

“She's livid for the following reasons: you disrespected her home. You traumatized CC, which will never forgive you for. You ruined her Bridezilla viewing party and her hardwood floors. You left without apologizing.”

“I’m sorry, I blacked out! I could apologize now and-”

“It's too late to apologize, Raven! You can't react in situations now and think later! That's how people in up incarcerated for murder!”

The woman pondered for a second. “Surprisingly, I've never been to jail.”

Naomi threw her arms up in exasperation and proceeded to storm to the car. Raven sighed and followed suit, climbing into the driver's seat before speeding out of the parking lot. The wives rode home in silence. When they made it inside the condo, Naomi made it a point to slam every door, window and cabinet that she came in contact with.

The tantrum quickly waned on Raven's nerves.

“Alright, can you tell me exactly how long you plan on being mad? The slamming is giving me a headache.”

“You know who else has a headache?! Shea does!”

“Fuck Shea! I don't give a fuck about Shea!”

“So you have no remorse for what you did to her?”

“I have no remorse for defending my wife, no.”

Naomi burst into tears. “I can't be the reason that you hurt by people!” She stormed into the bedroom and tossed herself onto the king sized mattress.

“Babeee,” Raven groaned as she followed her. She climbed onto the bed next to her wife and stroked the woman's hair. “Please don't cry. Please.”

“Leave me alone,” Naomi sobbed.

“Never,” Raven promised as she kissed her wife's shoulder then neck, then jaw. She returned to her neck and began to suck on it.

“Stopppp,” her wife weakly protested.

The woman continued and eventually got Naomi to roll over so that she could kiss her tears away. “Baby, please don't be mad at me.”

She didn't respond but Raven refused to give up, kissing along her wife’s neck and chest before traveling down her body. When she slid down her skirt and thong, Naomi finally relented to the woman's touch.

Raven wasted no time in doing everything she could to orally please her lover, practically worshipping her clit with her mouth while her fingers explored her sugar walls.

Naomi had given in, but she didn't want the woman to think that what she had done was acceptable. She formed her mouth to say something but when Raven flipped her onto her stomach as she pulled the dildo from the nightstand drawer, she decided that it'd be best to wait.

“You have the most perfect ass,” Raven whispered, kissing her wife's right cheek prior to giving it a firm slap. Naomi whimpered in pleasure so Raven did it again, then again. When she felt like the flushed skin had had enough, the woman gave her lover's smooth ass tender kisses to make up for it. “So which hole will I be pounding tonight?”

“It doesn't matter, just fuck me,” Naomi pleaded.

“Then your perfect ass it is.” Raven quickly strapped on the eight inch dildo they'd named Big Ben prior to retrieving the tingle inducing lube from the nightstand. She smeared the gel all over her wife's apple shaped bottom and the realistic strap-on before spreading her wife's cheeks and sliding in the tip.

Naomi gasped as she clutched the sheets while Raven continued to inch the silicone member into her. When the full length was nestled inside of the woman's ass, Raven gave her wife a moment to adjust before sliding out and gently entering again.

“Fuck,” Naomi moaned.

“You like that, baby?” she asked as she picked up her thrusting pace.

“Yes! Oh God, yes.”

Raven pulled the woman closer by her hips and continued to pound into her wife until she was panting and begging her not to stop as she climaxed.

“You're so fucking beautiful. I love making you cum all over this cock.”

Naomi wasn't in the mood for dirty talk as she collected herself enough to dismount the penis.

“Wanna ride it now?” Raven asked.

“No,” she sighed as she grabbed her skirt and tossed it into the hamper. The woman made her way to the bathroom door way before pausing and turning around. “Do you seriously not have any remorse for what you did to Shea?”

Raven unclipped the strap-on. “Nope,” she chirped.

“And if it costs me my friendship with Violet, would you feel remorse then?”

“What I did has nothing to do with her.”

“Yes it does! You attacked someone in her house! You disrespected my best friend!”

“She didn't want my apology so fuck her!”

“Don’t talk about her like that!”

“You seriously want to argue with me about Violet? Violet isn't your wife! Violet doesn't fuck you the way that I fuck you! Violet doesn't love you the way that I love you!”

“I'd rather be celibate and have her in my life than be married to someone who doesn't care enough to respect my friend of 25 years.”

“Are you seriously choosing Violet over me?”

Naomi took a deep breath. “Yeah...I guess I am.”

Raven laughed in disbelief. “Do you realize that I'm the woman that saved your fucking life? I pushed you out of the way of a car driven by a transphobic lunatic that was trying to kill you! I lost my memory, hell, I almost lost my fucking life for you!”

“Sometimes I regret that your memory did come back,” was all Naomi could say.

The expression on Raven's face made the woman's stomach twist into knots. “What do you mean?”

“I never wanted to marry a female,” she blurted. “But gender is boundless and you made me realize that was love too, but fuck, Raven. Maybe if you hadn't gotten your memory back…maybe if we hadn't have gotten married, you wouldn't be this way. You're... insane.”

The word seemed to trigger the woman but instead of exploding, an eerily calm demeanor took its place. “Insane?”

“Yes! At first I thought your temper was a little sexy, but now you've gone too far- and with no remorse! I can't take it anymore.”

“So... you're leaving me?”

Naomi sighed. “I'm spending the night at a hotel so that I can clear my head but honestly... I don't think this is fixable.”

“Okay,” Raven said nonchalantly.

“Alright,” the woman replied as she turned on her heel and entered the walk-in closet.

After getting dressed, she grabbed her suitcase and began stuffing her designer clothing into it. When she was finished packing, Naomi wheeled her luggage into the bedroom. She didn't see Raven, but her heart stopped when she saw the trail of blood leading out of the room. “Raven!” She dropped her suitcase and dashed into the living room, then all over the rest of the house, but the woman was nowhere to be found. “Raven!”

---

Violet sat up in bed, flipping through the latest issue of Vogue Italia while Matt walked his fingers along her belly as he read through his expectant father's book.

“Tomorrow can't come fast enough,” he sighed. “Shea is going to this appointment with us?”

“Technically, yes. She has her own apartment to see how far along she is and whatnot.”

"And we're what? Twelve weeks along?”

The woman nodded.

“Twelve weeks...twelve weeks,” the man mumbled as he flipped through the pages of his book. He stopped on the corresponding section. “‘At twelve weeks, your baby's face looks unquestionably human’.” Matt cackled. “His eyes have moved from the sides of his head to the front of his head-”

“Why do they always gender the damn fetus in these books?” Violet asked. “Protest.”

Matt laughed and continued to read. “‘And his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long and weighs half an ounce. Your baby is about the size of a lime’.”

“Matthew, stop. That's making me nauseous.”

The man closed the book. “So, do you want a girl or a boy this time?”

“Doesn't matter. So long as they're healthy.”

“You say that like Clark isn't healthy.”

Just then, a message poured into their walkie talkie.

“Daddy, come quick! Magento is under my bed and wants to steal all of my friends!”

“I rest my case,” Violet said.

Matt gave the woman a playful nudge on the arm before making his way towards the exit.

“Ugh, how dare they put this crap in Vogue,” Violet groaned as she grabbed her cell phone. She dialed her best friend.

“Hello?” Naomi sniffled.

“Girl, why is there capri gauchos in this issue of Vogue Italia? It's disgusting and disrespectful…but it's nothing to cry over. What's wrong?”

---

“I’m going to ask you again,” one lieutenant hissed at Naomi. The frazzled woman nervously sat across from him and his partner, trying to suppress more tears as they relentlessly interrogated her. “Do you know where your wife could've gone?”

“No! For the fifth time, no! My wife is missing and you act like I had something to do with it!”

“Well did you?” the other officer asked. “Here, I'll give you a scenario: you two were in the middle of a fight. She said that she was leaving you. In a blind rage, you attack her. 'If I can't have you, no one can!’ You snap out of it and see what you'd done and you hide the body.”

"That explains the luggage and why she left her cell phone and purse,” the first lieutenant added.

“No, that is my luggage! I was packing and when I left the room, she was gone and so was her car!   And when I saw the blood, I called you guys! I'd never hurt my wife!”

“I'm going to hurt you!” Naomi heard Violet shout. “Where is Naomi?! You'd better tell me where she is now or I'll slaughter your entire division in my magazine!”

The lieutenants looked at each other. “Who is that?”

“My best friend. The one that called.”

“Ma'am, put the high heel down! I will taze you!”

“She's pregnant!” Naomi informed as she pushed herself out of her seat, then out of the room. “Don’t taze her!” she pleaded. “Violet, calm down.”

The woman returned the five inch makeshift weapon to her foot. “Are you okay, honey? Did they hurt you?”

“No, I'm fine but the questioning-”

“Questioning for what?! You didn't do anything!” She turned to the nearest detective. “She didn't do anything and you won't be saying another thing to her without her lawyer present!”

“The reason that I didn't lawyer up was because I had nothing to hide,” Naomi admitted. “I just need to know what happened to Raven,” she sniffled.

“Well, did you call her parents?”

Naomi was perplexed. “Parents? She told me that her parents were dead.”

“What? No, they're alive. They live in Rochester.”

---

“I came in here to fight Magento. How did I end up with fingernail polish on?” Matt asked his daughter as she splattered globs of coral nail polish on his fingers.

“Because it's your color,” Clark replied.

“Fair enough,” he sighed.

“Daddy, you're so prettyyyy!”

“Thank you, pudding. You want me to paint yours now?”

“Yes!” Clark rushed into her closet and returned shortly after with an ice blue shade of polish. She handed it to her father.

“Ooo, this is cute.”

“It's my color,” the girl chirped as she flopped to the floor in front of him and placed her small hand in his.

“Really? I've always liked red on you.”

“I like red too! Can we do both?”

“And make purple?”

Clark wrinkled her nose in confusion. “Purple?”

“Yes. When you mix red and blue together, it makes purple.”

“Oh...no. I just want blue today. Like Iceman.”

Matt smiled as he opened the small bottle. He began to carefully paint each of the girl's tiny fingernails.  

When he finished one hand, Clark did a quality check. “You're a good painter, Daddy.”

“Thank you, boo. Can I have a kiss for all my hard work?”

“Finish the other hand first.”

He laughed. “Okay, princess.”

---

By the time Raven arrived at her parent's house, it was two in the morning. She pulled up the winding driveway, rushed up to the front door and began to pound on it. Moments later, her arthritic father opened the door with a baseball bat in hand. “Raven?! Baby, are you okay?! What are you doing here so late?!”

She pushed past the man and entered the house.

“Dad, you're 55 with rheumatoid arthritis. What the fuck were you going to do with a bat?”

Raven stomped along the beautiful homes marble flooring just as her mother descended the stairs. “We thought you were a burglar!”

“You should be so lucky,” she grumbled.

When the woman noticed her daughter's hostile demeanor, disheveled appearance and  bandaged wrist, she knew that the horror had begun all over again. She swiftly rushed over to her. “So honey, how are you? It feels like we haven't heard from you in months.”

“That's because you haven't,” she replied.

“Well, we love you and we'd love to have you around more often t-”

“Yeah, that's what you said before you tried to send me to prison.”

“Honey, that wasn't prison. It was a hospital. You were sick.”

“Bullshit,” Raven groaned. “Did you cook?” she asked as she made her way towards the refrigerator.

Her mother followed her. “Well, if you aren't sick, what happened to your wrist?”

“I cut it while shaving,” she attempted to joke as she opened the refrigerator doors. Her mother rolled her eyes. Raven grabbed a turkey leg and a handful of shredded cheese.

“Raven...is that a wedding ring?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I got married,” she said nonchalantly.

“When?!” her mother demanded.

“Three...four months ago? Yeah, four months ago.” Raven took a bite of the turkey and topped it off with the cheese.

“Honey, why didn't you invite us to your wedding? Tell me about him. Do you love him?”

Raven scowled. “I married a woman.”

“Oh... I forgot that's legal now.”

“This is why I didn't tell you! You're fucking ignorant!”

“Oh, stop it, Raven! You know we're not bigots. I just thought you would've married someone like Nigel.”

“Don't... mention... Nigel,” Raven snarled. “I haven't seen him since the summer before college...since he filed the restraining order.”

Her mother sighed. “I'm just taking it all in. I'd love to meet your wife, darling.”

“She left me.”

The woman wasn't surprised. “Oh... I'm so sorry, baby. Do you think you'll be able to work it out?”

“Not if she keeps picking Violet over me,” Raven hissed.

“Violet Chachki? That girl you went to college with?”

“Yes, mother!” she exploded. “In fact, I met all of my friends in college because everyone from high school hated me! I tried to get away from them and from you! But the one time you pop up on me you blurted all of your information to Violet like an idiot! Nobody cares! You just wanted to be nosy, mother!”

“It was your first year of college and you didn't want to include me in anything!”

“Because I was so excited to get away from you! Do you not understand that growing up here was torture?!”

By this point, her mother was sobbing. “Raven, we provided you with everything you could've ever wanted.”

“Yeah, yeah and you act like that included the psych ward. I didn't want to go to therapy or take meds mother. There's nothing wrong with me. I just love hard and I get emotional.”

“Stalking Nigel and pummeling that the poor girl that he was dating was loving hard?”

Raven angrily swiped the glass vase off of the counter, forcing it to shatter against the tile floor. “I told you not to mention him!”

Out of sheer fear of what the woman was capable of, her mother turned on her heel and quickly retreated up the stairs to her bedroom, locking the door behind her.

“I don't know why you even bother with her,” the woman's husband sighed as he adjusted his pillow. “Borderline personality disorder isn't curable.”

“I don't care if it's incurable. She's my daughter.”

Raven sank to the floor, sobbing as she rocked. “Why can't I think cleary?” She gathered up enough strength to crawl into the living room towards the bookshelf. The woman wiped her eyes, grabbed her high school yearbook and quickly began to flip through it. When she found the senior section, she quickly spotted the brown eyed boy who bore a striking resemblance to her spouse in body type and complexion. Tear drop after tear drop splashed on the glossy pages of the book as the memories of what happened years ago began to haunt the woman all over again.

---

The girl eagerly checked her braces in the compact mirror before slamming it closed when she saw the boy. She quickly stood, smoothed her pigtails and rushed over to him.

“Hi, Nigel!”

“Whoaaa, um, hey...Raj-”

“Raven,” she chirped. “How are you?”

“I'm good.”

“That's good! I mean, I'm glad that you're good because that makes me happy and-”

“Hey, Nigel!” one of the boy's football teammates yelled from across campus. “Let's go, we'll be late for practice!”

“I'm coming!” he shouted back. “Listen, um, Ruby-”

“Raven,” the girl corrected for the second time.

“Raven. I'll see you later.”

“Okay!” she said excitedly. “I'll see you later.”

The boy turned made his way towards his friends.

“See you later,” Raven repeated to herself as she smoothed her hair. “I'll see...you,” she emphasized, “later.” The girl winked. “It's a date.”

After football practice, Raven waited for the boy to exit the locker room and when he did, she skipped over to him and his friends.

“Hi, Nigel!”

The boy gave a casual head nod but continued to walk. She followed.

“So, I was wonderinggggg, since, ya know... homecoming is coming up. If you'd like to go?”

The boy's friends let out low, teasing grumbles.

“I’m pretty sure I'm homecoming king. Of course I'm going.”

“Really?! That's so amazing! I mean, I voted for you three times even though you're only supposed to vote once.”

“Thanks,” he said flatly.

"I can't wait to see you there.”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Why don't you ask her to be your date?” one of his friends pressed while the others suppressed their laughter.

Raven took in an excited breath.

Nigel punched the jokester on the arm. “I’m already going with Tatianna.”

The girl's face fell. “It’s okay,” she assured. “Just seeing you there will be awesome.”

Before Nigel could utter an uncomfortable 'ditto’, Raven's mother honked as she pulled up behind her.

“Oh! Time to go dress shopping. I'll see you guys later!” Raven skipped towards the car before abruptly stopping and turning around. “Nigel, what color vest are you wearing? If you don't mind me asking.”

“I don't know yet,” he lied. “I have to go shopping too and-”

“He's wearing blue!” one of the other boys shouted.

“Oh my God, I love blue! Okay, see you guys later!” Raven rushed the rest of the distance to her mother's car and hopped inside. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart. Is that the one that asked you to homecoming?”

“Yes,” she said, practically melting as she waved goodbye to the boy.

“Hello, Nigel!” her mother politely greeted with a wave before speeding off.

“God, even her Mom knows my name?” the boy groaned.

“Well, duh, you're her future son-in-law,” his friends teased.

“Fuck all the way off.”

---

Raven felt adorable in her knee length blue, taffeta dress. She added a bejeweled belt and a diamond clip in her barrel curled hair for flare. The girl strutted into the cafeteria and she wasn't surprised to see Nigel and Tatianna on the dance floor but it didn't hurt nonetheless. She got herself a glass of punch before picking a spot against the wall so that she could watch the boy and the girl as they slow danced.

Nigel's drunken hands explored Tatianna’s body while his lips aggressively took her neck.

“Babe...babe, stop,” she protested.

“Come on, girl,” he slurred. “You look good enough to eat.”

“I know this, but that doesn't give you the right to be sloppy.”

The boy scoffed. “Just get over here.” He snatched her closer to him by the waist.

Tatianna shoved him away before slapping the boy across the face. “I demand respect! If you won't give it to me, I'm out of here!” The girl stormed towards the exit, quickly followed by her date who was quickly followed by Raven.

Tatianna hopped into her car.

“Tati, come on!” Nigel pleaded. “You're being dramatic!”

“Fuck you!” the girl said as she sped off.

“Bitch,” he groaned, pulling the flask from his pocket to take another sip of vodka.

“Nigel, are you okay?” Raven asked.

The boy looked at her and nodded.

She sighed in relief. “Good. Nobody deserves to be slapped... especially someone as beautiful as you.”

“Oh, yeah?” He took another sip and returned the flask to his jacket pocket. “You're sorta beautiful too.”

The girl's entire face became a heated furnace.  “Re-Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Y-You want to go inside and dance? They're playing a slow song.”

“Nahhh,” he slurred. “I got a better idea.” Nigel grabbed Raven's hand and she could've fainted then and there.

It was her dreams finally becoming reality as he led her to his car.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Nowhere,” he assured as he opened the back door and ushered her in while he followed and closed the door. Raven smoothed her dress but it was wrinkled once again when the boy leaned in for a kiss. The girl was so excited that she threw her hands up, only to have them hit the roof of the car.

“Sorry, Nigel,” she grumbled.

“It's okay,” the boy told her while he pulled away to dig into his glove compartment.

When Raven saw the condom, her eyes grew wide. She loudly cleared her throat.

“Is there a problem?”

“No! I mean, um, no,” she said more calmly. “I just want to get to know you and um, well I already know a lot about you like your schedule and your favorite thing to eat at lunch and I really don't want to sound weird, you know, I used to work in the cafeteria and I volunteered in the front office so I just happened to notice these things but I really, really, really like you and-”

He cut her off with another kiss. “I like your braces.”

The melted girl thanked him and she was like putty in his hands as he leaned her onto the seat before reaching underneath her skirt. When his hand found her panties Raven became tense.

“There's probably something that I should tell you.”

“What?”

“I'm a virgin.”

He smiled. “Nothing wrong with that.” The boy reached into his pocket, grabbed the flask and handed it to her. “Sip and you'll be fine.”

Raven sat up and gulped the liquid before groaning at her first taste of alcohol. “That's so grossss.”

“Yeah...but it'll help you relaxxx.”

The girl hung onto every word that left the boy's lips. She nodded and drank some more. “Wooo! Hello, relaxation.”

Nigel smiled and proceeded to remove the girl's panties. He tossed them over his shoulder, making Raven laugh while he removed his pants and slid on the condom onto his dick. The entire scenario was just how Raven had imagined it. Besides her first time being on their wedding night, she knew that staring into his brown eyes right before they made love would be just like this.

He positioned himself over the girl and he slowly pushed himself inside of her. She winced at the pain, but she knew that the boy would be gentle and take care of her. Raven was more excited for the intimacy than the sex itself, watching the boy's every expression and attempting to match her exhales with his.

“You look beautiful,” she offered.

“I'm about to come,” was his response.

The girl's eyes grew wide in excitement. “That means I did good?”

“Fuck,” the boy moaned as he climaxed into the condom.

Raven smiled. We're such a perfect couple, she thought.

Nigel pulled out and groaned. “Fuck, you're bleeding.”

“Well, it doesn't hurt anymore,” the girl assured.

“My poor fucking seats. This needs to be cleaned, asap. Umm, I'll take you home.”

“Oh…okay.”

When the boy pulled in front of her house, Raven climbed out and made her way to the driver side window. “I had fun tonight. Although, I really wished we could've danced.”

Nigel chuckled. “Homecoming is overrated.” He grabbed the plastic crown that he'd won as homecoming king and placed it on the girl's head. “Goodnight.”

With a swelling heart, Raven stole a kiss. “Goodnight.”

The boy sped off, leaving the girl to twirl several times before skipping into the house.

“You're home early,” her mother said.

“Yeah, but it doesn't matter because Nigel loves meeee,” she squealed before rushing up the stairs to her laptop so that she could change her Facebook relationship status from ‘Single’ to 'In a Relationship’.

Monday morning Raven couldn't wait to see the boy that she'd dreamt about the entire weekend. Her heart exploded when she saw him, but before she could make her way over, Tatianna approached and kissed him.

The girl had no idea what to think, but she quickly made her way over to make her territory known.

“Hey, Nigel... what's going on?”

“What do you mean what's going on?” he asked.

Raven glanced between the boy and the smug Tatianna. “You're with me! You told me that I was beautiful! You made love to me on homecoming night! Y-You gave me your crown and kissed me goodnight!”

The boy clenched his jaw before exhaling. “I'm sorry.”

“You... You're sorry?” she asked in a broken voice. “You took my virginity.”

Tatianna groaned. “Okay, I'm ready to go. This is getting pathetic.”

“Nobody is talking to you, wench! At least I don't hit him!”

“I demand his respect and nothing less and as you can see, he comes back to me every time! Babe, tell her!”

Nigel sighed. “I'm with Tatianna. I love her. What we did on Saturday night was a drunken mistake.”

Tatianna rolled her neck as she reached into her purse and pulled out the Ziploc bag that carried Raven's panties. She tossed it at her. “And get your nasty underwear that you left in my man's car!”

The crowd that had now gathered let out a collective 'Oooooo’.

It was the last thing that Raven heard before her red tinted vision overwhelmed her. She lunged at Tatianna and began to slam the girl's head against the concrete.

Nigel was quick to pull Raven off of his girlfriend but the sidewalk was already stained with her blood.

“Oh, dear,” Raven exhaled as she dusted herself off. “What happened?”

---

“What happened, Raven?” her therapist asked.

“I don't know! All I remember is Tatianna throwing my underwear at me, after that Nigel was pulling me off of her and into his arms.”

“Are you sure that he was pulling you into his arms?”

“Uh, yeah,” Raven said as if was obvious. “Nigel loves me.”

“He told you that?”

“He didn't have to tell me. The way he looked into my eyes as we made love spoke volumes.”

“Raven... that boy was drunk. That's not love.”

The girl scowled. “You don't know what love is!” she exploded, pushing herself out of her seat then out of therapy completely.

---

After school was over for the day, Nigel made his way down his usual path to his car.

Raven jumped out of the shrubbery to greet him.“Hi, baby!”

“What the fuck!” the startled boy let out. “What the hell are you doing on campus, Raven?! You're expelled!”

She shushed him as she placed a finger to his lips. “Tatianna doesn't have her evil clutches to dig into you anymore. We can finally be together,” the girl panted breathlessly.

Nigel shoved her away. “Tatianna is in the hospital because of you! She's in so much pain and I hate to see her like that. This is your last chance to get the to fuck out of her before I call campus security.”

I love you, get out here before we're discovered, was what the girl heard. “Come with me, Nigel,” she exhaled.

“What?” the clearly confused boy asked.

Raven threw her arms around him. ��Run away with me, darling.”

Nigel shoved the girl away yet again. “I'm not your darling! Get away from me!” He sprinted to his car but Raven was hot on his heels.

“With Tatianna out of the way, we can work this out! I love you and I know you love me! We can run away and be together forever!”

The boy climbed into his car and locked the doors. As he fumbled with the key, Raven smashed her face against the driver side window.  

“Until we meet again, my love!”

Nigel threw the car into gear, narrowly missing the girl as he smashed the gas.

Raven exhaled. “What a man.”

“Hey, you!” campus security shouted as he made his way towards her. The girl quickly took off.

---

“Raven, did you go to your old school today?” her mother asked over dinner.

“No,” she lied. “Why?”

“I got a call from the dean. He says the girl on the security camera hiding in the bushes before running after Nigel Carraway looks eerily similar to you.”

“Well it wasn't me,” she said defensively.

Despite knowing that she was lying, her mother just went with it. “Good. There's nothing there for you anymore. Private school is so much better, right?”

“No,” Raven grumbled. “It's all girls and they don't like me.”

“Honey, you'll make friends soon enough. You just have to open up and show them your amazing personality.”

“It’d be better if Nigel was there.”

The woman stabbed her asparagus out of sheer frustration. “Raven, I know that you were... intimate with this boy. And as humans, sometimes that makes us feel very attached to one another. But it's okay to move on if someone isn't interested in you.”

“Mom, I told you. We made love because we love each other and we're going to be together. We're thinking about eloping.”

Her mother nearly choked. “Elope?” She knew that the boy had no interest in the girl, but she was always careful to tiptoe around Raven's delusions. “Honey, you can't elope. You're just 17. You're still a baby.”

“I'm not a baby! Do babies have sex?!”

The woman sighed. “I guess not. Just promise me that you'll focus on your schooling and taking your meds.”

“I don't like those meds,” she protested. “I can't think clearly on them.”

“I spoke to Nigel's mother the other day…”

Raven’s eyes grew wide. “You spoke to Pam?! What'd she say?”

The woman put on a cheeky expression.

“Come on, Mommmm,” the girl pleaded. “Tell me!”

“She wants a daughter-in-law who is calm, cool and collected.”

“That's me!”

“That's what I told her...but you are a little high strung off of your medicine.”

“High strung? That's no good.”

“Not at all. Pam wouldn't like it at all and there's one thing you must do in a marriage. Impress your mother-in-law.”

Raven shrieked. “I'll go take my meds now!” She pushed herself out of her seat and rushed up the stairs. Her mother smiled and took a bite of her asparagus.

Raven entered the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and popped open the bottle of medication. She frowned.

“I don't like being foggy. If Pam can't accept me as I am...then fuck her.” The girl dumped the pills into the toilet and flushed them.

---

Nigel grinned when he woke to the smell of bacon on a Saturday morning. The boy stretched as he crawled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. “Ma, if you wanted me to do my chores, you didn't have to whip out my weakness. I'll..take out the...tras-” His heart practically stopped when he saw Raven in a sheer negligee pressing the bacon into the frying pan.

“Good morning, sweetheart. I made you breakfast.”

“Mom!” he shouted.

“She's gone,” Raven informed. “She left about 15 minutes ago... we're alone, baby,” she said lustfully.

“Raven...get the fuck out of my house or I'll call the cops!”

The girl laughed. “Babe, you're so funny. Come on. Have a seat so you can eat.”

The boy rushed over, gripped the girl's arm and began to drag her towards the exit. “Get out!”

“Sweetheart, you're hurting meeee.”

“Good! Get the fuck out!” Nigel shoved Raven so  hard that she fell to the floor.

When the girl hit the hardwood, in addition to her bones, something inside of her snapped. “Okay, Nigel... I'll go,” she said calmly as she pushed herself off of the floor. “Just let me get my purse.” Raven sauntered over to the counter and instead of grabbing her bag, she grabbed a sharp blade from the knife block and sliced her wrist.

“Fuck!” Nigel rushed over to the girl, snatched the knife from her hand and tossed it before calling 911.

---

Raven stared at the blandly painted wall as she laid on her side in the hospital bed. Her mother sat across from her. The woman had no idea what to say, but she was grateful that the boy had enough sense to call an ambulance instead of kicking her sick daughter out onto the street as she bled.

“Raven...Honey... I-”

“It's okay, Mom. I don't need a pep talk. Nigel doesn't love me and I'm learning to accept that.”

The woman grabbed her daughter's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Come in,” she said when she heard the knock on the door.

A young man neither of them recognized entered the room. “Are you Raven Petruschin?”

“Yes,” the girl replied.

Her mother was suspicious. “Why? Who are you?”

The man didn't respond as he handed Raven the orange envelope. “You've been served.”

“Are you kidding me?!” her mother shouted. “You don't serve people in the hospital!”

He rushed out of the room while Raven opened the envelope and pulled out the paperwork. She read a few lines. “It's a restraining order...from Nigel,” she said quietly.

“Oh, honey that just means-”

“I know what it means mother. It's okay. I understand.”

---

“I understand,” she said as she watched Nigel's house be consumed by the flames she'd set. “I understand.”

The fire was like a cleansing for the girl and she wanted to make sure that Nigel and his mother returned home from his football game to ashes.

She didn't understand why she had to stay away from Nigel. “If he's so bothered, he should stay away from me,” she grumbled.

He did just that when he moved states to attend college and to this day, he hates the smell of bacon and he kicks shrubbery outside of his house before walking to his car.

---

After having her braces removed, Raven strutted into school with a fresh haircut and an even fresher attitude. She enjoyed her last year of high school as one of most popular girls there and by the time she graduated, she knew that fashion was what she wanted to pursue.

---

“Ugh, that professor is totally buggingggg,” Violet groaned as they exited the college classroom. “A minimum of 200 words?! I can'tttt.”

“I don't think it's too bad,” Raven admitted. “I guess I'll start it now to get it out of the way. “What are you about to do?”

“Oh, I'm gonna to meet my friend Naomi for lunch then we're going to Neimans. Wanna come?”

“Sure.”

The duo made their way to the quad fountain and Raven stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the woman. She was a bronze goddess with perfect hair and full lips that Raven could imagine against hers. The woman was the female counterpart to Nigel and Raven was doing a pretty pathetic job at not staring.

“Naomi this is Raven and vice versa,” Violet said.

“H-Hi,” Raven stammered.

“Hey,” Naomi sweetly greeted. “I give hugs,” she said as she wrapped her arms around the other woman. Raven took in a sharp inhale and became intoxicated on the girl's lemongrass scented perfume. “It's nice to meet you,” Naomi added.

“Y-You too. Um, do you know someone by the name of Nigel Caraway?”

Naomi released her. “No, why?”

“Oh... nothing, it's just that you resemble him in your complexion and...fe-features. Did I say something wrong?” she asked when she saw Naomi's expression go from a smile to pursed lips.

“Aside from comparing me to a dude?”

“Oh, no! I didn't mean any harm, I mean, Nigel is an attractive guy but you're... gorgeous.”

She smiled.

“Oh God, don't make her head any bigger than it already is,” Violet said with a chuckle. “Let’s go. Wait- Raven, do you have a pair of Louboutins? We wear Louboutins to Neimans.”

“You’re going to Neimans?” Naomi asked.

“Not me, dearie. We!”

“I can't. I have an appointment.”

“Oh,” she said before blowing a raspberry. “Raven and I can go. Meet us there?”

“Sure.” The duo shared air kisses before Naomi reluctantly did the same to Raven. “I'll go find Nigel for you,” she joked.

Raven found it difficult to laugh. “Thanks.”

It left a cold air between the women, but when Naomi turned to leave, Raven couldn't help but watch.

“Ready?”

“Yeah but um, I don't have any Louboutins.”

Violet gasped dramatically. “But you're a fashion major! That's sacrilegious!”   

Raven shrugged.

“Girl, you've got to take more pride in your wardrobe. Especially if you want to be seen with me.”

“And Naomi?” Raven blurted before quickly pursing her lips as Violet raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Naomi too. Why?”

The woman shrugged. “She seems nice.”

“She's perfect,” Violet corrected. “I mean, we wouldn't be friends if weren't.”

“So does that mean that I'm perfect?”

There was a pause. “We're working on it. First off, you need Louboutins!”

---

After making it to the mall, Raven discreetly called her mother while Violet found her second home in the dressing room.

“Mom?”

“Hi, honey! How are you?”

“I need $1,200.”

“Oh, wow is it tuition time again already?”

“No, I need a pair of Louboutins.”

“Raven, I don't have-”

“Mom, please don't start. I just really need this money.”

“Louboutins aren't a necessity, honey.”

“Yeah, not to a dated fashion horror show like you!”

Violet cleared her throat from behind her.

“Oh...um-”

“Give me the phone,” she ordered.

Raven obliged and handed over the device.

“Hello? Mrs.Petruschin? My name is Violet Chachki and you have to understand the importance of looking good in this era. As a fashion major, your daughter is required to have the best of the best and she needs your help getting it.”

“Well, Violet, although I love my daughter, she only calls me when she wants something. Even if I had a spare $1,200 laying around, I wouldn't give it to her for anything besides her education.”

“Well that blows,” Violet said before returning the phone to the other woman. “Ooo, I love that color!” The girl rushed towards the crop tops leaving Raven to groan into her phone.

“Mommmmm. I need thissss.”

“No, Raven. You don't need $1,200 shoes.”

“Then I'll slit my fucking throat because my mother doesn't give a fuck about me or that I'll be the biggest fucking loser on campus without Louboutins!”

The girl tossed her phone to the ground and buried her face into her hands. “Fuck!”

“What is the meltdown for?” Naomi asked as she approached.

Raven quickly composed herself. “I can't afford Louboutins.”

“Well, did you ask your parents?”

“They're dead.” The girl forgot to add 'to me’ at the end of the statement but it was too late as Naomi's face fell.

“Well that's horrible. You'd think that you'd be more upset over your parents than a damn pair of Louboutins- there are bigger struggles in life than not having Louboutins!” Naomi practically shrieked.

Raven was completely taken aback. “Um, okay? Sorry?”

Naomi took a deep breath. “Sorry for blowing up at you. I always get cranky after my appointments.”

“How come?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. “Have you found anything that you liked?”  

“Besides the $1,200 Louboutins? Nah.”

Naomi made a face. “Well then, keep looking. It's Neimans for fucks sake,” she said before walking off.

Raven couldn't believe how rude the girl was. “Your insides don't match your outsides,” she grumbled to herself before she returned her attention to scanning the racks.

When Violet and Naomi had their arms filled with items compared to the simple earrings that Raven had picked up, the fashion duo frowned.

“We don't wear anything less than two carats,” Violet informed.

“Are you guys a goddamn cult? Why do we all have to match?”

“Because we have a standard to uphold,” she added. “We're the hottest chicks on campus and hundreds of girls want to be our third, so either comply to the rules, or leave us alone.”

“Then I'll leave you alone! You're high maintenance and just plain bitchy,” she said directly to Violet, “and you're rude!” she said as she glowered at Naomi.

Violet laughed. “I could've told you that. Thank you for the submission of your friendship application, but you don't quite meet the requirements for our company.”

Naomi grabbed a random bracelet from the display and placed it into Raven's hand. “Complimentary from the Viomi company. Put it on our tab.”

The duo cackled as they made their way to the checkout.

Raven scowled but when she looked in her hand, she saw the golden crown charm on the bracelet as a clear sign that this was the person she was meant to be with.

“I prayed to the love Gods on this,” the woman mumbled to herself. “The last person that gave you a crown wasn't for you. The next person that gives you a crown is true,” she recited. Raven quickly traded her plain earrings for a pair of two carat stunners before rushing to the checkout.

“I can help you over here,” the checkout girl at register four said.

“No, I'm with them,” Raven said proudly.

“Is that so?” Violet asked. “And what makes you think that we even want you?”

“Because I know fashion. I love fashion probably even more than you because I've lived on both sides of the spectrum: from practically being allergic to brushing my hair to buying these two carat earrings that I can barely afford. I don't just want to fit in, I want to do better for myself because I have a lot of people who don't believe in me. I need to prove them wrong.”

“Is that a good enough answer for you, Naomi?” Violet asked.

“She seems sincere to me,” the woman admitted.

Raven smiled. I knew she'd have my back.

“Fair enough,” Violet said with a shrug. “Hurry up so we can check out. “

The woman skittered towards her new friends to Violet's dismay. “We don't skip. We walk like ladies.”

“Sorry,” Raven said as she suppressed her excitement. She playfully nudged Naomi who winced. “Oh, sorry, did I hurt you?”

She shook her head and changed the subject. “I like your earrings.”

I like your braces, she could still hear Nigel say.

“Th-Thank you.”

The soft smile that Naomi offered in return could've stopped Raven's heart, but the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach were a valid replacement.

She's rough around the edges but we can fix her, Naomi thought.

After checking out, per tradition, the friends went out to eat. Raven eagerly ordered the same dishes as Naomi despite her distaste for avocados. She watched in awe as the woman stuffed a handful of French fries into her mouth. When Naomi caught her staring her cheeks flushed to same color as her ketchup.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Raven replied. “You just seem to...really love French fries.”

“I do,” she guiltily admitted.

“Naomi has a definite boner for French fries,” Violet joked but she groaned when she realized that it'd hurt the woman's feelings.

Naomi made a face.

“Oh, come on, boo. We say that all the time! You know it's not even like that so don't take it personal.”

The woman fanned her face and attempted to hold back the tears as she composed herself. “I know. Sorry, I'm just really sensitive and hormonal right now,” she sniffled.

Violet wrapped her arms around her friend. “I love you, boo bear.”

“I love you too.”

Raven was envious of the embrace. “Um, so what's going on here?”

“None of your business,” Violet snapped but Naomi shushed her.

“It's okay if she knows. She's been shopping with us therefore we know she's trustworthy.”

“Pfft, she hasn't even been sworn in yet.”

“Okay, okay,” Naomi said as she pulled the latest issue of Vogue out of her purse. “Raven, raise your right hand and place your left hand on the Bible.”

Raven chuckled but when she realized that the woman was serious, she quickly obliged.

“Raven, do you solemnly swear that you will always abide by the rules of fashion including never wearing white after Labor Day and never wearing a sports bra. Do you swear to always dress as chicly as possible and to intervene if one of your fellow fashion wives fail to do so?”

“I do,” she promised.

“Okay, now share a secret about yourself.”

Raven pursed her lips as she thought before speaking. “I lost my virginity in the back of a car.”

“O-M-G, me too,” Violet said in excitement over their common ground.

“Yeah, it was pretty amazing.”

“Okay, now I'll share a secret,” Naomi offered. “I'm trans.”

Raven's eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “No way.”

The woman nodded. “I had an appointment to adjust my E shots today and the hormone boost usually makes me really hungry and kinda cranky so,” she said with a laugh. “Sorry for being a bitch.”

Raven squinted as she examined Naomi's face. “Nigel?”

Naomi frowned. “What?”

Raven shook her head of the delusion. “Nothing. You really look amazing. Um..so-”

“My boobs were a gift from my parents when I turned 18 and my genitals are none of your business but I do indeed sit when I pee.”

“That's totally not what I was going to ask.”

“It's what everyone wants to ask,” she sighed.

Raven shook her head. “I have more respect than that. I think you're a beautiful woman with a voice like angel’s wings.”

Violet rolled her eyes.

“Awww, thanks! Ya know, I think we're going to get along just fine.”

---

Raven slammed the yearbook closed before cradling it against her chest while she sobbed herself to sleep.

---

Violet groaned as she entered her home and pulled off her heels. The woman slowly made her way up the stairs, stopping to peek into her daughter's bedroom.

Clark was snoring in bed with her mask and cape on so the woman softly closed the door and made her way to her bedroom. She burst into laughter when she saw her nude husband sprawled across the bed covered in nothing but rose petals.

“Why are you laughing?!” he demanded, chuckling a little himself over the woman's snorts.

“What the hell are you doing, Matthew?”

“Keeping the spice alive!”

Violet shook her head as she made her way next to him. She eased herself to the bed and kissed her husband. The man gripped her face between his hands and attempted to make out but she groaned and pulled away.

“Babe, I'm not in the moodddd. You won't believe the day I had. Raven is missing, my feet hurt and cops threatened to taze me.”

“Cops threatened to do what?!”

“Ugh, you're missing the biggest point: my feet hurt!”

The man pushed himself out of the bed and retrieved the massage oil. He poured a generous amount into his hands before slathering it onto Violet's feet. As he rubbed them, Matt noticed the red lines that the straps of her heels had left.

“You have to stop wearing those shoes if they're going to hurt your feet.”

“Pfft, don't blame my heels. It's this baby weight. I've already gained eight pounds and it hasn't even been long enough to know the gender of the little womb crook to even curse it out.”

Matt laughed. “Then wear more comfortable shoes.”

“Comfortable shoes means orthopedic shoes, Matthew. That's never going to happen.”

“Well for what it's worth, your tits look amazing.”

“Thank you, honey bun.”

“You're welcome, my little spice cake.” He smiled and kissed her big toe.

“Freak. So what'd you and Super Clark do while I was gone? I mean, besides your lovely manicure.”

“She painted my nails then I painted hers and then we watched Supergirl and Finding Nemo before she turned into Super Clark. She ran around and played with the dogs a bit before she passed out.”

“Sounds about right,” Violet said, stifling a yawn.

“Mhmm,” Matt mumbled as he kissed the top of her foot. “I've been thinking about you since the moment you left, baby. I know it's only been a few hours but I missed you so much.” The man began a trail of kisses starting at her ankles, up to her waist then breasts then neck, stopping at her cheek when he realized that she was asleep. Fuck, he mouthed. Matt rolled out of bed and grabbed the lotion on his way to the bathroom.

---

Violet was excited to wake up to the smell of French toast. After she showered and primped herself, she descended the stairs and entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, Mommy,” Clark greeted as she gnawed on a piece of bacon.

“Good morning, my love.” She kissed her daughter's head before her husband pulled her into a kiss.

Clark covered her eyes.

“Ready for the appointment today?” he asked.

“Sure,” Violet replied as she eyeballed the food. “But I'm more ready for that French toast.”

Matt laughed. “Sit down, I'll make you a plate.”

“Do we get to see Lord Tater Tots today?” Clark asked.

Violet made a face. “Who is Lord Tater Tots?”

“The baby! That's the baby's name.”

“No, no, nooooo it's not,” Violet assured.

Clark frowned. “But that's what the baby told meee.”

“Clark, the baby doesn't speak to you,” she said sternly.

“Yes it is! And the baby wants to be called Lord Tater Tots!”

“Clark Christine Lent, who on Earth do you think you're yelling at?”

The girl folded her arms. “Nobody.”

“If you're going to be a brat today then you can stay home.”

“Noooooo!”

“Clark, go to your room,” her mother ordered.

“Hey, hey, ladies,” Matt intervened. “Chill out and eat your French toast.”

“I am chill like Iceman,” Clark said. “See my nails?”

Matt laughed. “Yes, sweetheart. I see your nails.”

Violet scowled. “Don't reward her for bad behavior, Matthew. I-” she was silenced when the man placed a piece of French toast in her mouth.

“Sshhhhh, grumpy Mommy,” he said. “It'll be okay.”

Clark giggled and her father winked.

“You two need stop ganging up on me,” Violet demanded. “It's not fair and- mmm, okay,” she hummed in satisfaction over the hash brown Matt placed in her mouth.

“When Lord Tater Tots is born, he can be on your team,” Matt joked.

“Ha-ha,” Violet said flatly as she continued to stuff her mouth.

---

Raven's mother was heartbroken yet relieved to see her daughter sleeping in the fetal position on the living room floor. It was better than her being stuffed into a gutter somewhere.

When the phone began to ring, she rushed to it and answered

“Hello, may I speak to Mr. or Mrs. Petruschin?” the man on the other end asked.

“This is Mrs. Petruschin.”

“I'm detective Velour and I was wondering if you've been in contact with your daughter, Raven recently?”

“Oh God, what has she done?”

“Nothing. Her wife has reported her missing.”

“Oh...yes, she's here. She's okay.”

“Okay, um, there was a trail of blood in the bedroom, do you have any idea where that is from? Does she have any injuries?”

“She self harms,” the woman admitted. “When she gets upset, she hurts herself.”

“Oh..so she is safe?”

“For now, yes.”

“Okay. Thank you, Mrs. Petruschin.”

“You're welcome,” the woman sighed as she hung up the phone. She made her way into the living room and gently shook her daughter awake.

“Cocksucker!” Raven blurted. “Huh? Wha-What's going on?”

“The police called. Your wife is looking for you.”

“No she isn't,” the woman grumbled as she turned on her other side. “She wants a divorce.”

“Well, she at least wants to know if you're okay.”

There was a long pause. “I'm not,” Raven quietly sniffled. “I haven't been okay for a really long time.”

---

“Miss Shea!” Clark squealed as they met the woman in the lobby of the OBGYN office.

“Hey, Clark!” she said as she embraced the girl. “How are you?”

“Good! We're here to see your baby and Lord Tater Tots!”

Shea raised an eyebrow. “Lord Tater Tots?”

“Don't ask,” Violet groaned.

“Well, yes we are, Clark. I'm so excitedddd.” She turned to the man seated next to her. “Babe, stand up. I'd like you guys to meet my boyfriend, Danny Noriega.”

The nonchalant man popped his gum. “Sup?”

Violet extended her hand. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“Ditto,” he said flatly as he returned the gesture.

“Are you excited about your babyyy?” Clark asked him.

Danny shrugged. “I guess, yeah.”

Matt scowled. “You want to show a little more respect?” he asked, being sure to assert every ounce of his masculinity.

“What?” the other man replied practically in a slur.

“Danny just got home from his tour. He's just a little tired,” Shea defended.

“Miss Couleé?” the ultrasound technician called.

Shea grabbed her boyfriend's hand. “That's ussss.”

The sizable group followed the woman to the back room.

“So, how is this going to work?” Matt asked. “We see Shea's ultrasound then everyone goes to our ultrasound?”

“Yes,” Violet replied.

“Hop on up here,” the ultrasound technician said as she patted the medical bed. Shea obliged and eagerly lifted her top too expose her washboard abs.

“Bitch,” Violet grumbled.

Shea cackled. “With a baby in there, it won't last long.”

The technician spurted the gel onto Shea's stomach and began to smear it around with the ultrasound wand. She scanned the full circumference of the woman's belly before frowning. “Um... I don't see anything.”

Shea's heart dropped as her eyes instantly began to well up. “Wh-What? What do you mean? I-I-”

“Oh, wait I forgot to turn on the machine! Sorry about that,” she said with a laugh. “The long hours are starting to get to me.”

Matt gripped his wife's hands to stop her from hitting the technician.

“Ahhh, okay. There we are. That little nugget rightttt there is your baby.”

Shea wiped away her tears only to cry some more. “But... that's way more advanced than 4 weeks, right?”

“Yeah, that's around eight weeks.”

“Holy sparkles. I have no idea when or where this baby was conceived then. I don't keep track of my period because it's so irregular as is but- so if I didn't get pregnant in Paris I wonder where.”

“Did you cheat?” Danny asked.

The woman scoffed. “Fuck all the way off.”

“Like you? Nah, I'm good.” He turned and exited the room.

It was Violet's turn to restrain Matt but she failed to get a good grip on the man before he followed Danny out of the hospital.

“Hey, asshole! What's your problem?!”

“Besides being exhausted and not in the mood for this baby shit again? Ohhhh nothing,” he said sarcastically. “We've been through this twice already and by next week, the baby will probably be gone. I can't get emotionally invested into that shit.”

“Be emotionally invested in Shea! I don't care if this is her 80th pregnancy, that woman needs support.”

“I honestly don't think I should be taking ‘how to support Shea advice’ from you.”

Matt clenched his jaw. “Fair enough. Then do it for yourself and especially Shea, dude. She deserves it.”

---

“What do you want to name your baby, Miss Shea?”

“I'm not sure yet. All the good names like Clark are already taken,” she said as she gently poked the girl's nose.

Clark giggled and grabbed the woman's hand as they followed Violet into another room for her appointment. She settled onto the paper covered bed and reluctantly lifted her shirt.

“Introducing a busted can of biscuits.”

“I like biscuits,” Clark squeaked.

“Thanks,” Violet sighed.

When Matt and Danny returned, Matt grabbed his wife's hand while Danny wrapped his arm around the other woman. He kissed her.

“I love you. I have a good feeling about this one,” he said.

“Me too.”

“Okay, okayyyy,” Violet chirped. “All attention needs to be on me now.”

Everyone watched as the technician smoothed the ultrasound goop over the woman's stomach with the wand.

“There's your baby.”

Clark wrinkled her nose in distaste. “That's Lord Tater Tots?”

“Yes,” Matt replied.

“So… I'm the big sister to a... tadpole?”

The man cackled. “No, boo, he has to keep growing so that he can be a cute little guy.”

“Would you please stop gendering the fetus?” Violet asked. “I don't want to relive what happened last time.”

She looked at Clark as the girl dug in her nose.

“Matth-”

“I'm on it.” The man whipped out the sanitizer and told the girl to hold out her hands. As she pulled her finger out of her nose, a booger was already attached to the tip.

“Ooo, Daddy, that's a juicy one!”

Violet instantly went green in the face. “I need a can, I need a can!”

The ultrasound technician quickly offered a chuck bucket while Matt rushed his daughter out of the room.

“Clark,” he said sternly. “What did I tell you about digging in your nose...in front of Mommy?”

“But I always dig in my nose with you! We have boogie contests to see who has the biggest ones!”

“I know, I know and that's all fine, just not in front of Mommy. You know she hates it.”

Clark sighed. “I'm sorryyy.”

“It's okay, boo. Let's go get your hands washed.”

The girl wiped the booger onto the wall and held up her hands. “They look all clean to me.”

“Me too. Let's go see the baby again.”

When they returned to the room, Violet was still attempting to compose herself. “I'm not sure I want to go through with this pregnancy. Kids are disgusting.”

Shea laughed. “So are men but that didn't seem to stop us.”

Naomi breathlessly panted as she rushed into the room. “I made it. How is the ba...by?” she asked, eyes scanning the crowded room and stopping on the new couple that had seemingly taken her position. “Hi,” the woman flatly greeted.

“Naomiiii,” Violet whined. “Save me.”

“I would if I could but it looks like you've got it covered.”

“Auntie!” Clark squealed. “Look at our babyyyyyyy!”

“I can barely see from over here.”

“Oh, Naomi quit being a dork just get in here,” Violet demanded.

The woman stepped further into the room and sighed. “It's like a gas chamber in here.”

Violet rolled her eyes. “Naomi, I don't feel good, okay? If you're going to keep making shady comments then just leave because I don't want to hear it. You should've gotten here on time.”

“Well I'm sorry that I've been on the phone with the police station all morning trying to track down Raven. Thank you for calling to check on me and responding to all of my messages.”

Violet whipped out her phone to check.

“Is that the one?” Naomi heard Danny whisper.

“No, that's the bitches wife,” Shea replied out loud.

Clark covered her ears while Naomi did her best to ignore the woman.

“You didn't send me anything!” Violet shouted before the notifications finally loaded. “You- oh…well, I didn't see that until now and I didn't call you because I was busy.”

“I can tell,” Naomi grumbled.

“But you have no right to come into my appointment with that attitude and kill everyone's vibe.”

“Alright, Violet, if you want me to leave because I'm just ruining this for everyone, I will,” she sniffled as she stormed out.

“Ugh, she's so dramatic.” Violet turned to her husband. “Can we get out of here now? If I don't eat something right now I'll either die or kill someone or both.”

Clark frowned. “But what about Auntie Naomiiii?”

“You can go with her, booger child. Go, go, go.”

“Yayyyy!”

Matt carried his daughter out of the room and quickly caught up with the woman in the parking lot. “Naomi, hey. Clark wants to go with you. If that's okay.”

The woman composed herself as best she could. “Of course, CC. That's always okay.” She extended her arms and pulled the girl into an embrace.

“I'm sorry for Violet,” Matt offered. “I mean, you know how she is better than anyone.”

Naomi nodded. “I do. And I can usually overlook her nonsense but it's been a really rough few days.”

“I understand. So, what's on the agenda for you two?”

“I wanna go to Peter Piper Pizza!” Clark declared.

“Then Peter Piper Pizza it is, pudding.”

“Perfect,” Matt said as he pulled the walkie talkie and list of emergency numbers from his pocket. He handed the device to Clark. “You know the drill. You can't go out of the five mile radius of the walkie talkie and this has my number, Violet's number, her pediatrician, her dentist, her-”

“I got it, Matthew,” Naomi sighed. “I've babysat for you since she was three months.”

“You can never have enough reminders,” he said. “I love you, sweetheartttt.”

“I love you too. Do you want a basket full of kisses?”

“Of course, boo! And I'll give you a basket full of hugs in return.”

Clark jumped from Naomi's arms into her father's before placing several wet kisses all over his cheeks.

“Mmmm, I love your kisses,” Matt declared as he gave his daughter a firm squeeze.

“And I love your hugs!”

Naomi was always touched by the lengthy goodbyes that the duo shared. The man reluctantly returned Clark to her arms.

“I'll see you later, boo.”

“Later, Daddy-O.”

The man laughed and watched as Naomi strapped her into the car seat that he'd chosen specifically for it's safety rating.

“Make sure that you hear the buckle click,” he reminded. “That's how you know it's secure.”

“I know, Matthew.”

“And give the straps a little tug to ensure that it's tight enough around her chest- but not too tight.”

“I knowwww, Matthewwww,” she groaned.

“Okay, okay. Bye, boo!”

“Byeeee!”

Naomi closed the door.

“Is the child lock on?”

“Yes!”

The man defensively raised his hands.

Naomi rushed to the driver's side of her car so that Matt wouldn't have time to give her a physical exam or a breathalyzer to ensure that she was stable enough to be driving like the last time she took Clark out.

“Double check your mirrors!” he shouted.

The woman ignored him as she started the car and took off. Matt swiftly jotted down the license plate and made a mental note of what the woman was wearing. He pressed the button on his walkie talkie.

“Testing. Testing. Daddy to Clark. Daddy to Clark. Can you hear me? Over.”

A response came in a few seconds later. “No, I can't hear you,” she said with a giggle.

He smiled. “Have fun, sweetheart.” Matt returned the device to his pocket before returning inside of the building.

“Matthew!” Violet snarled when she met him in the lobby. “I am hungry!”

“Okay, Mama bear. What do you wanna eat?”

“I don't know but I want food! Now!” Violet stormed out of the building.

Matt was actually excited about the hormonal journey that he was bound to go on with his wife throughout their second pregnancy.  

“Good luck,” a woman seated in one of the lobby chairs offered.

“I don't need it,” he said cheekily before rushing after the woman that was now sobbing by the car. “Baby, why are you crying?”

“Because! You don't care about feeding me! You're too busy worried about- hell, I don't even know what you're worried about but it sure as hell isn't feeding your wife!”

“I'm about to feed you right now, okay?” he calmly responded as if he was negotiating with a terrorist. “Just get in the car and I'll take you wherever you want to go to eat.”

Violet continued to cry as she snatched the car door open and climbed inside. Matt grinned and rushed to the driver's side before starting the car and speeding off.

---

“Go, Auntie Naomi, go!” Clark cheered the woman on. She sat in her lap and made sound effects as she followed the bad guys on the video game in the high speed chase. “Catch those bad guys so we can get more tickets!”

“I'm tryinggg.” Naomi shot out the bank robbers back tire, effectively ending the chase.

“Yayyyyy!” Clark cheered as the machine began to spurt out tickets. She snatched them up.

“What do you want to do next?”

“Pizza! Then prizes!”

“Sounds good.”

Clark skipped over to their table and plunged into her slice of melted cheese deliciousness while Naomi mindlessly nibbled on the crust of her slice.

“I thought I'd find you guys here.”

The sound of her wife's voice made Naomi's blood curdle. Out of sheer fear from the trauma,  Clark couldn't even make eye contact with the woman as she climbed into her aunt's lap and buried her face into the warm curve of her arm for protection.

Naomi took in Raven's disheveled appearance and there was something so off about the woman that she barely recognized her. “What are you doing here?” she demanded.

“If you didn't want to be found, you shouldn't have tagged your location in the picture you posted.”

“Raven, just leave, okay? You're scaring Clark.”

“Leave? Oh, so you want me to leave? I thought you were soooo concerned about me, wifey!”

Clark whimpered into the sleeve of Naomi's blouse.

“Yes! You're seriously pathetic right now if you're going to yell at me in front of Clark at Peter Piper Pizza!”

Raven suddenly felt dozens of children's eyes fixated on her as they tried to figure out what was going on. When she heard Clark's soft sobs, she knew that she'd hit rock bottom.

“I'm so sorry,” the woman sniffled as she rushed out of the building.

Naomi pulled Clark up so that she could cradle the weeping girl. “Sshhhh, CC, it's okay.”

“Does Auntie Raven want to hurt us?” she asked through tears. It broke Naomi's heart.

“No, sweetheart. Auntie Raven doesn't want to hurt us.”

“Okay,” Clark said skeptically.

“Finish your pizza, baby then we'll trade in your tickets for prizes.”

The girl wiped her eyes and returned to her spot in the booth. When she began to pick at her food, Naomi knew that she'd lost her appetite.

“Me too, Clark,” she softly exhaled. “Me too.”

---

The only thing that the wide eyed Matt could compare Violet to was Shaggy or even Scooby-Doo. She slurped, belched and didn't mind that food was flying everywhere as she ate. The woman was like a refugee from a foreign country where food was scarce.

“Did you just get out of prison?” her husband teased.

“Fuck you,” she replied as she spooned the pot roast into her mouth. “Mmm!” the woman screeched with full cheeks as a waitress walked by with food. Violet forced down what was already in her mouth so that she could speak. “Give me that cheesecake.”

“This is for another table. I could add a slice of cheesecake to your ord-”

“No, I want that slice right there.”

“Ma'am, I-”

“Give me the fucking cheesecake!” Violet shrieked.

The girl flinched and quickly obliged before rushing off to contemplate her life's choices and to retrieve another slice of the cheesecake. Matt pushed himself out of his seat and followed her. “I’m really sorry. She's pregnant,” he said as he palmed the waitress a $100 bill.

Moments later when he returned to the table the only thing left of the cheesecake were crumbs on the plate. And even those didn't last long as Violet held up the saucer and tapped the side, allowing the graham cracker bits to fall into her mouth.

Matt burst into laughter. “You are amazing.” The man watched in awe as the woman continued to pile it in. She even went after his food when she asked if he was going to finish his burger and fries. He gave them up without protest.

Violet ate a few bites before burping. “I'm done. I want the rest to go.”

The man obliged and after paying the bill that he wasn't surprised had reached over $100, he helped his wife out of her seat. For the first time, he noticed that her ass seemed to be filling out in a way that he'd never seen before.

Damn, he mouthed. When did baby get back? Since they were in public, he didn't want to disrespect her by giving it a squeeze. But when they made it into the car, he couldn't help but pull her into a kiss with more than sweet intentions behind it.

“Matthewwww,” she groaned as she pulled away. “Not here. Not in a fucking restaurant parking lot. I'm classier than that.”

“You are?” he teased.

It earned him a swat on the arm. “Fineee.” The man threw the car into gear and slammed on the gas until they were home.

The couple was barely pass the threshold when Matt pulled his wife into a kiss while he caressed her newly found curves. Violet's hands loosened the man's belt while he worked on the straps of the confusing designer top. Just as he finally found success in getting his wife naked, Clark's voice rang out over the walkie talkie.

“Daddyyyyy,” she chirped. “I won lots of prizesss!”

“Ignore her,” Violet ordered as she kissed her husband's neck.

“I can't ignore her. Look how excited she sounds.”

“She's always excited.”

“Yes, because I always respond!”

“Daddy! Are you there?! You said you'd always answer the walkie stalkie!”

Violet groaned. “Alright.” The woman cupped his dick through the thin fabric of his boxers. “Meet me in the bedroom when you're finished,” she whispered before sauntering up the stairs.

Matt fought the urge to watch because he didn't want the image of a nude woman embedded in his brain as he answered to his daughter.

“Hey, boo. Of course I'm here. What kind of prizes did you get?”  

“You'll just have to wait and see tomorrowwww.”

“Whoa, whoa, what do you mean tomorrow?”

“I'm spending the night at Auntie Naomi's.”

“Clark, nobody asked me if you could stay,” he said sternly. “And I never even went over the overnight procedures with her.”

“Well, I want to stay so I can protect her.”

“Protect her from what?”

“Evil forcessss.”

Matt exhaled. “And Auntie Naomi said it's okay for you to stay?”

“Yes, Daddy!” Clark shouted in exasperation. “Stop acting brand new! She always says it's okay for me to stay!”

Matt cackled. “Okay, sweetheart. I'll call you before bedtime, alright?”

“I don't have a bedtime! Go away, evil doer! Go awayyyy!”

“I love youuuu.”

Clark didn't respond but he knew that the girl heard him and that was most important. He dashed up the stairs and burst into his bedroom.

“Did somebody order multiple orgasms?!” he asked only to find his wife passed out in her blanket cocoon. “No,” the man gasped. “Nooo.” He rushed over to her and attempted to kiss her awake but the woman groaned and pushed his face away. “Fuck my life,” Matt grumbled as he stormed towards the bathroom, grabbing the nearly empty bottle of lotion on his way in.

>>>

[herarebels]

A folklore review by an aspiring author.

the 1

The beginning sounds like a college coming of age movie, and then follows the narrator as she looks back through her previous relationship.

cardigan

I really love the imagery. And I love the parallel of the narrator is told she knows nothing because she is young, but she insists that she knows one thing- her lover. I’m also getting young adult Victorian London romance vibes.

the last great american dynasty

I really like how Taylor equates herself to Rebekah, and says that she is the next mad woman to own the house. (Is Mad Woman about Taylor or Rebekah?!) I love that Taylor says that she did all of the things that Rebekah did. The past tense of the last few lyrics made it sound like Taylor sold the house?

exile

I loveeee this song to write about a romantic couple too. I love her imagery, and her word choice. I’m imagining this couple still being in love, but they were separated by a misunderstanding. And now that they see each other in a location, and now they don’t know what they’re living for because they still love the other person, but they feel like the relationship is unfixable.

my tears ricochet

I like the intro vocals/instrumental. I have two thoughts going off of this song. (WHEN I”M SCREAMING AT THE SKY?!) The woman died, and her ghost is watching her love interest at the funeral. What if this is the couple from the song before (?!?!?) and the woman died unexpectedly, and her ghost is haunting her love interest because she still loves them even after their mistakes. Or it could be the couple from above, and the burying is their breakup. She’s fighting because she wants to stay for her love interest. (I’m getting real forbidden love vibes here.) Maybe they were enemies to lovers, and he had to kill her, and now she haunts him. This song really fits Daenerys and Jon really well too.

mirrorball

I love the effect on Taylor’s voice. I see myself and what I used to do in the past in this song. This could be taken literally as Taylor’s need for the audience and how she changes herself to keep their attention. And she wants to be a source of comfort and entertainment for her fans, even when no one pays attention to her anymore. But it could be taken as another romantic thing where one partner just wants to make the other happy and they have each other as the world burns down (dancing with our hands tied bridge anyone?!)

seven

Aw I really like this cute song about Taylor’s childhood. I like that she recalls her attitude as a child being less subdued, and that as she grew up she had to do so to become more civil. I also just like her wondering if there are any good things in the world anymore, and equating those good things to her childhood. (Also, INTHAF vibes.)

august

Okay I claimed this one off of the tracklist, so hopefully it’s good lol. AHHH ITS SO CUTE! I’m getting college relationship vibes. *its one of the love triangle songs* “Back when I was living for the hope of it all” I really love the music and her voice in this one, it matches the vibes of the song perfectly.

this is me trying

So um I accidentally skipped this song, so this review is not going to be as coherent as the other songs in this place of the album. (You should probably skip this review and then come back to this after you read hoax.) I love the echo effect on her voice. This is the third song of the love triangle that I couldn’t find in betty lol. Another forbidden love. What the hell. Wait, this is super short. And I love it. Dang.

illicit affairs

The high *down* and *stop* and *him*. FORBIDDEN LOVE VIBES AGAIN. Could this be the same couple from exile and my tears ricochet? OOooh I love the harmonies. I love the bridge! (Honestly I think I’m going to need to make a couple of new OCs for this trinity of songs.)

invisible string

Hahaha bad blood easter egg. I really like the idea of invisible strings tying all of the people of your life to you. This is a really cute love song to Joe. This is sooooo cute.

mad woman

I have been forewarned that this is a doozy. Oh Taylor is out for blood people. She’s gonna be burning the witches now. We all know the “two” she’s talking about. Oh. Wait. I don’t really appreciate how Taylor is talking about one of their wives however. (I know that it does not directly reference the people that she’s talking about, but there is so much media attention on this topic that anyone could figure it out.) While she does make a good point that the woman isn’t mad at her husband because of societal conditioning. I believe that is not Taylor’s business and she really shouldn’t have put that in a song in my opinion. Overall, good song! I just didn’t agree with those few lines at the end.

epiphany

Oh frick this is going to be sad isn’t it. Wait is this the song about her grandfather in WWII?!? It is. Oh no. Anddddd she mashed it with covid. Nice dude. I’m totally fine. I like the servitude theme of the song. I like the notes and the backtrack of the song, I think it really fits the topic. This song really fits our world right now, and I like how she related it to devastated events of our history. It really shows that someday we will have our epiphany during this pandemic and we will get through it just like we got through everything else that happened in our history.

betty

So I saw three theories about this song:

1. Betty is Joe’s mom.

2. William Bowery is Joe writing with Taylor under a pseudonym.

3. Apparently Joe and Taylor are going to announce that they secretly got married in this song.

Let’s see how the theories pan out, shall we? I love the harmonicas! School children again? Maybe this is the love story of Joe’s parents? Joe’s dad better be named James. Wait what was the other song that talked about picking up somebody for a drive? August? Is this another love triangle song? Then if these two are the love triangle songs, where's the third? Did I miss it? Is CARDIGAN the third song? Why else would she reference it again? Dude I’m so confused.

peace

Okay, we are ignoring the whole love triangle debacle for now. Why is this titled peace but it’s explicit? I feel like those two words don’t go together. Wait this is the ultimate love song to Joe. I’m about to cry. I want this. I want what they have. I saw somewhere that Taylor told a secret sessioner during the rep sessions that the bridge to CIWYW was originally “dreaming of angels, raising angels into good people with you.” (I cannot confirm that this is true, I am believing this person’s word.) Taylor didn’t put it in because she was still worried about the delicate (lol) nature of their relationship, and she didn’t want any pregnancy rumors. But now in peace we get: “Give you my wild, give you a child.” Guys I’m actually crying rn. This is growth, and I want what they have one day. I want to be a part of a couple that never settles down and stays forever young. I want to be a part of a relationship that is romantic and that is also platonic. This is my next OTP song oh my gosh, it’s perfect.

hoax

I’m getting forbidden love break up vibes again. Why is this album full of songs like this? But this song also has a lot of references from Taylor’s life that she has sung about throughout the years. Is Joe the sadness that she’s referencing, idk? It’s really late and I know that she is talking about things in her life that she is already written about, but I’m not catching on to what they actually are.

overall thoughts:

I really like this album. This is a songwriting quality that we haven’t had from Taylor since Red. (Not that her other albums were bad at all!) I haven’t been a Taylor fan for very long. I grew up with YBWM and Love Story, and I knew all of the radio singles off of Red and 1989, but I didn’t become more than a casual listener until reputation (which is still my favorite album by her!) I write in the fantasy genre, so it’s really hard for me to write to 1989 and Lover, and I am not really familiar with self-titled, Fearless, and Speak Now.

What I love about this album more than her other albums, is that folklore isn’t really about Taylor’s life. As a media consumer, I like to know what the media I am watching, listening, or reading is about. Because of this, I know a lot of little details about Taylor’s love life and other things that have happened to her that she has written about. But as a writer it is hard for me to separate those instances in Taylor’s life from the songs. I can’t think of them objectively. So this album really gave me a lot of inspiration.

Also, this is a sound that we haven’t heard from Taylor since Red. Folk music really lends well to fantasy writing, and I was ecstatic when I saw the pictures yesterday morning. I just knew that it was going to be the Taylor version of a folk album. (One of my dream Taylor genres has been fulfilled, now I just need a WANEGBT 1989 tour-esqe album. Taylor pleaseeeeee.)

As of right now, all of the ones labeled forbidden love are my favorite. But I think my top three off of the album (in order) are:

peace

exile

my tears ricochet

Anyways, its 3:00 am and I am probably not making any sense anymore. I think I’m going to post this without checking it over. I apologize if any of this is incoherent. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[junker-town]

40 stats for Drew Brees’ 40th birthday

SB Nation presents 40 for 40: Drew Brees is old.

The Saints’ trip to the NFC Championship isn’t the only thing Drew Brees is celebrating this week. The future Hall of Fame quarterback also turned 40 years old on Jan. 15.

So, to toast Drew Brees on his 40th birthday, here are 40 stats from Brees’ decorated 18-year-and-counting career in the NFL.

1. His career completion percentage is 67.3 percent.

This is an NFL record.

2. He had seven consecutive seasons with 4,500 passing yards.

This is also an NFL record.

3. He recorded the most passing yards per game in a single season in 2011, with 342.3 yards per game.

Oh yeah, this is an NFL record as well.

4. Brees has thrown for 520 regular season touchdowns in his career, which puts him second all-time behind Peyton Manning.

Manning threw for 539 touchdowns in his career, a number Brees will certainly pass during the 2019 regular season. Tom Brady is right behind Brees, at 517.

5. Brees has led the league in completion percentage five times: 2009, 2010, 2011, 2017, 2018.

Brees threw for at least 4,000 yards in all of these seasons except in 2018. He finished with 3,992 yards in 15 games in 2018, sitting out Week 17 to prepare for the playoffs.

6. He’s had one season over 20 interceptions — 22 in 2010.

Even though he threw 22 interceptions that season, Brees didn’t lead the league in interceptions. Eli Manning took the crown there with 25 interceptions.

7. In 2018, Brees had a single-season career high with four rushing touchdowns.

That was just 13 touchdowns off from Todd Gurley’s league-leading 17 touchdowns on the ground.

8. Brees has 22 rushing touchdowns for his career.

Brees has some work to do if he’s going to catch Emmitt Smith’s all-time mark of 164 rushing touchdowns.

9. He’s averaged 1.6 yards per carry over his career.

1.6 yards per carry isn’t anything to brag about, but it does make him a pretty safe option on quarterback sneaks.

10. Brees led the league in yards per attempt in 2017 with 8.1.

He also completed a league-high 72 percent of his passes that season, which was a record — until he broke it in 2018 with a 74.4 percent completion percentage.

11. Brees owns the record for most career completions with 6,586.

Brett Favre is in second place with 6,300 completions.

12. And the record for most completions in a season with 471 in 2016.

That was 35 more completions than Joe Flacco, who finished in second place that year with 436 completions.

13. Brees has the most career 300-yard passing games with 115.

More NFL records for Brees!

14. He has eight more 300-yard passing games in the playoffs.

The most yards Brees has thrown for in a playoff game was 466 in a 45-28 win over the Detroit Lions in January 2012.

15. Also, the most 400-yard passing games with 16.

The most yards Brees has thrown in a single game was 510 yards in a 31-16 loss to the Bengals in 2006.

16. Oh yeah, he has the most 5,000-yard seasons in NFL history with 5.

Brees threw for 5,476 yards in 2011, which was an NFL record until Peyton Manning threw for 5,477 yards in 2013.

17. Anddddd the most seasons with 30 or more passing touchdowns with 10.

Starting to think Drew Brees might be good.

18. Brees led the league in passer rating twice — in 2009 (109.6) and in 2018 (115.7)

2009 was the year that the Saints won the Super Bowl against the Indianapolis Colts. Brees is looking to add another Lombardi Trophy this year.

19. His career passer rating of 97.7 is now just ahead of Brady’s 97.6.

That puts him at third all-time behind Aaron Rodgers and Russell Wilson.

20. Brees has five full seasons with an interception percentage under two percent — 2004, 2013, 2015, 2017, and 2018.

The lowest yards per attempt Brees had in these seasons was 7.8 YPA in 2015, which would’ve ranked 11th in the league in 2018.

21. He’s led the league in passing yards seven times as well — in 2006, 2008, 2011, 2012, 2014, 2015, and 2016.

Guess what? Another NFL record.

22. Brees has two seasons with over 40 passing touchdowns in his career.

He threw 46 in 2011 and 43 in 2012.

23. Brees has only led the league in interceptions once.

He was picked off 19 times during the 2012 season, which is more interceptions than he threw in 2017 and 2018 combined (13).

24. In 2016 Brees threw a 98-yard touchdown pass to Brandin Cooks against the Raiders.

It was the longest pass of his career.

25. Brees became the all-time leader in career passing yards in 2018 with 74,437 yards.

He passed Peyton Manning to set yet another record. If Brees plays two more years, he’ll likely be the first quarterback to ever reach 80,000 career passing yards.

26. He led the league in 2018 with seven game-winning drives according to Pro Football Reference.

That’s the most he’s ever had in a single season.

27. And Brees has 48 game-winning drives in his career.

Drew Brees is second to Peyton Manning (54) in all-time game-winning drives, according to Pro Football Reference.

28. In 14 career playoff games (and counting) Brees has thrown for 31 touchdowns and just 10 interceptions.

Brees’ playoff record is 8-6, and his postseason record at the Superdome is perfect.

29. In those 14 playoff games, Brees also has thrown for 4,510 yards.

That ties him with Dan Marino for the seventh-most ever.

30. Brees ranks fourth all-time with 322.1 passing yards per game in playoff games.

Brees’ playoff numbers would make for one hell of a regular season.

31. When Brees was at the 2001 NFL Combine, he ran a 4.83 40-yard dash.

Here’s a fun fact: Brees ran a faster 40-yard dash time than Blake Bortles, who has rushed for 6.3 yards per carry for his career.

32. Brees has caught eight passes for 74 yards and a touchdown in his career.

The 21-yard touchdown catch came in 2003 when he was a member of the San Diego Chargers. It was thrown by LaDainian Tomlinson.

33. Brees has 106 career fumbles.

That ranks 13th all-time. Favre is the career leader with 166 fumbles.

34. Brees has 115 career starts with zero interceptions.

Since 1999, only Brady has more games without an interception than Brees. Brady has 149 starts without an interception.

35. Brees has been named to 12 Pro Bowls.

That’s tied for third all-time with Champ Bailey, Ken Houston, Randall McDaniel, Jim Otto, Junior Seau, and Will Shields.

36. Brees has made 13 career tackles, but none since 2012.

That’s probably a smart idea on Brees’ part. He’s not exactly the biggest quarterback — he’s listed at 6’0, 209 pounds on the Saints’ official website. He’s also only missed one start in his career due to injury.

37. Brees has been sacked 395 times in his career...

38. But the most he’s ever been sacked in a season is 37 times in 2013.

The least he’s ever been sacked in a season is 13 times in 2008.

39. Brees has the fifth-lowest sack percentage amongst all qualifying quarterbacks at 3.88 percent.

That’s a testament to both his offensive lines over the years and his ability to get the ball out before pressure gets near to him.

40. Brees is one of three quarterbacks to beat all 32 teams as a starter.

Happy Birthday, Drew.

[picassobws]

i know its january third but i need to make a post of my favorite parts of 2018 because im procrastinating writing and also 2018 was the best year ive had in awhile so I need to radiate some more positive energy

I got to meet Lauv and talk to him, that was pretty dope

Met Hailee and she’s actually the cutest ever

MET MY WIFE HAYLEY AND SHE ANSWERED MY QUESTION DURING THE Q&A

Got to see Niall twice with soundcheck both times

Met Mariah and got to check off a concert date and late night adventure off my bucket list

I finally saw Charlie live (FRONT ROW)

Sean followed me on twitter and regularly likes/replies to me

I FINALLY WENT TO A CONCERT /ON/ MY BIRTHDAY

Anne Marie gave me her drumstick and her guitarist gave me his guitar pick because i was first in line outside

I saw Ed Sheeran in a fucking stadium

I got my nose pierced finally

I met the fucking Vamps FOUR TIMES

Brad told me he loved my jacket (twice) (so did Connor) and said I should be a designer (which I am)

I got to talk to Blake and we are basically bffs

Joe remembered me and Mariah and I made him laugh because I kept calling his name and waving to him

Mariah and I made friends with Ryan

I made the Vamps laughs more than once (and Dean) and they all said they loved my signs and I’m hilarious

I got to make fun of Brad for nearly tripping in front of me

Matt gave us Brad’s picks and Chris gave us Connor’s

I got to spend basically a month with Mariah and take her to all my favorite places.

Anddddd I finally started school in a place I love

Here’s to hoping 2019 is just as good to me.

[road2recoverybee]

What is a healthy day

Today was a healthy die which is ironic because i continually suffered physical health issues all of today because i did some impromptu and selfish things.  I don’t make last minute decisions but yesterday after work I made a snap decision to cancel plans with a girl with I had been regularly seeing since I moved here. This girl makes me smile, and truly adores me. i think in her mind, I might be it which is a beautiful thing that can’t be discounted. but is it then entirely my responsibility to tell her that I’m on a MUCH slower train. Think local train from NYC to West Long Branch. God awful in comparison to the rate of her feelings and her comfort level with expressing said feelings. In truth, she’s not really reassuring me in any way to be in a relationship or whatever. she just really wants my time which is a romantic sentiment at the very least.

Anyway I cancelled plans with said woman to meet up with some random weirdo from bumble. And trust me folks, we was weird. Weird in an appealing way somewhat. I had never kissed on a first date before. He was aggressive in a boyish way. Probably too emotionally young for me. Graduated undergrad in 2012 and he is 3 years older than me. Go figure. Anyway, we had a stupendous time in my humble opinion. He was amusing at the very least and we saw some bomb life music.

ANYWAY- sufficed to say we drank way too much and he SOMEHOW convinced me o invite him back to my place to smoke a bowl. I impressed upon him that i would never sleep with him. I didn’t, btw. I don’t do that. But he came back to my place and we talked a lot, smoked a bowl, made out a little and in the end, it was a fun night! STILL- i was extreeeemely hungover today.

My hangover consisted of this: Waking up at 6 with the spins chugging water and with attempting to fall back asleep. I was going to see said lady friend and wanted energy. Mid morning naps are the only appropriate naps. I did see her, and thus my day was emotionally healthy. I had some feelings, genuine, and it was a lovely date. Ate some acceptable pizza. In general, super sugar deficient as I am after I drink. Parents drove down with my cousins parents, Melina and Perry. We unloaded the car and i got a chair, a rug, two lamps (sans lampshades), a mirror, a gorgeous table. Mom was super civil and kind. We went to see my cousins place, we all had a good chat. We had a light lunch, I had soup. Went home, went to work out quickly, got SUPER sick from the soup. Really, for like an hour. Exhausted, still got my shit together and went to dinner with my cousins girlfriend, her parents, his parents, and my parents as buffers It went super well! I was myself!

Had 2 and a half more beers like a dumb ass (making this a third night i‘m drinking) gave up and went home at 9:30. Stomach killing me because there were jalapenos on my sandwich anddddd the beer didn’t help. Smoked a small bowl by myself and listened to some Taylor Swift. Got inspired to write and here I am. I’m happy and my life is going to be mine now. I’m responsible for it. I need to pursue contentment.

[lindseyluvsdrag]

Untitled third installment of Knocked Up - Snippet

“Matthewwww!” Violet shouted from the couch. “Hurry up, it's starting!”

“I'm comin’!” the man replied as he snatched the bag of popcorn from the microwave. It was a little premature but he dumped the contents into a bowl before rushing back into the living room. He jumped over the back of the couch and landed onto his favorite spot next to his wife.

Their two year old daughter had spread her favorite Storm blanket onto the hardwood floor and was sprawled out next to her best friend, Shea. Her Aunt Raven watched the woman through judgemental eyes.

“Why is she even here?” she asked her wife.

“Because the Lents like her. Hell, she used to be one of them.”

Raven cringed. “That's so disgusting, like, she shouldn't be here. Just because she speaks comic book, doesn't give her the right to call our Goddaughter her ‘best friend’. Do you know how weird that is?”

Naomi exhaled in expression. “She's a really nice lady and Violet wanted her here for the viewing so just get over it.”

“Ssshhhhh!” Violet demanded as she turned up the volume on the TV.

“This week on Bridezillas!” the narrator announced. “Meet Violet.”

Footage of the woman flashed across the screen. “I'm Violet Chachki and I'm a one of a kind collectable. I'm veryyyy visually appealing.”

“A New York fashionista by day and a tyrant by night.”

Violet cackled. “Tyrant?! I was not a tyrant!”

“Matthew! Matthewwww! You’re so full of shit, Matthew! *Bleep* you, Matthew!” They showed  clips of the woman shouting that had be edited together to create a montage of her greatness. “I want chocolate cake! Bloated?! No! Get the fuck away from me! Naomi! Na-o-mi! Naomiiiiiii!”

Matt burst into laughter.

“She'll take you on a rollercoaster ride and leave you with a surprise ending that you'll have to see to believe.”

“We got a runaway bride, y'all!”

They'd edited Raven's voice over the footage of Violet and Naomi sprinting down the busy New York street.

“Coming up on Bridezillassss!” The narrator said before the theme song commenced.

“This is going to be so good,” Matt said as he stuffed his mouth with popcorn.

“I want some too!” Clark declared.

“Open,” Matt replied.

His daughter obliged. She opened her mouth and allowed her father to toss popcorn kernels into in.

“Yum-my,” she said when he managed to land the first few pieces perfectly.

Violet frowned. “Matthew, I don't want her to choke.”

Matt passed the entire bowl over to his daughter before wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulder and pulling her close so that he could kiss her temple.

Raven rolled her eyes and stormed into the kitchen. The woman popped open the first bottle of wine that she could find, pressed it to her lips and turned it upside down. A voice behind her shortly thereafter made her jump.

“I would ask you to share, but I'm trying to get pregnant and drinking is against doctor's orders,” Shea joked.

Raven scowled. “As if I'd share anything with you.”

The woman defensively raised her hands while she grabbed the popcorn that Clark had asked her to make. She placed the packet into the microwave and pressed the corresponding button.

“Why are you here?” the woman pressed. “Dealing with Matthew is bad enough, but to bring his baggage into my best friend's house is just too much for me.”

“I'm here because Violet invited me. We've actually gotten really close since the wedding, especially since she gifted me with her Paris tickets.”

“You've known her for like five minutes.”

“I mean, that's all it takes to get to know someone. That and a little shopping at Neiman's.”

“Yo-You’ve gone shopping together?”

“Oh, plenty of times,” Shea said truthfully. “We even looked at potential furniture for the nursery.”

“Maybe she just feels bad that you can't have a baby,” Raven hissed.

Out of respect for the Lent’s home, the woman remained calm. “Is that so? Maybe she feels bad that neither can your wife.” Shea didn't even wait for the microwave to beep before she popped the hatch, grabbed the bag and casually exited the room.

Raven saw nothing but red as she flung the wine bottle at the other woman. It landed against her head in a loud thump.

Everything after that was a blur. The woman's tunnelled vision was paired with echoing yells and Clark's cries. When Raven finally snapped out of the trance, she realized that she'd made it home. Naomi was seated in the corner across the room, knocking the ashes off of the cigarette that she puffed on.

“Have you come to your fucking senses yet?”

“What happened?” Raven asked.

“You nearly killed Shea!”

“No, babe, she said some really fucked up shit!”

“Like what? Tell me what is horrible enough to get a bottle thrown at your head! And don't lie because I know your ass started it.”

“As a matter of fact, I was defending your ass! She was saying how she shops with Vi and how they're the best of friends and I was brutally honest with her. I told her that Vi probably just feels bad that she can't have kids and she was all like well neither can your wife. How was I supposed to respond to that?!”

“Seriously, Raven? If you're going to be with me, you have to develop a tougher skin than that. I heard crap like that, and way worse, growing up. You can't attack everyone who talks shit. You can't attack the world.”

“If the world tries to hurt you, I will.”

Naomi sighed as she extinguished the cancer stick. “I appreciate the gesture, but that's not how the world works.” The woman pushed herself out of her seat. “Get your coat.”

Raven frowned. “Where are we going?”

“To get some flowers, then to the hospital.”

---

“I walk out of the kitchen and the next thing I know is that I'm seeing stars,” Shea joked. “Like goddamn, is this what I get for undercooking the popcorn?”

Matt and Violet laughed.

“Only you could make a situation like this funny,” the man said.

Clark climbed from the foot of the bed to Shea's side. “Are you sureee you're okay?”

“Besides being a little dizzy, yes, I'm fine.”

“But what about this?” the girl asked as she gently touched the gauze bandage around the woman's head.

“It only hurts a little but I'll be fine, Clark. How are you feeling?”

“Still scared,” she sniffled. “I never saw a lot of blood on the floor before.”

Matt frowned and pulled his daughter into an embrace. “It's okay, boo,” he cooed as he rocked her.

There was a knock on the door before the doctor entered the room.

“So, I have some blood work results. I'm not sure if you want it shared privately or…”

“No, it's fine. What's up?”

“Okay, so, your blood work shows that you have very low iron levels. You're pretty much anemic.”

Shea frowned. “Um, okay, so what does that mean?”

“It means that you've been trying to conceive a baby, but research has shown that women who don’t get enough iron can develop anovulation. That is the lack of ovulating during the menstrual cycle. Low iron levels may also affect the health of the egg to be fertilized. It can diminish your ability to get pregnant by as much as sixty percent.”

“Sixty?! Holy sparkles,” she said, her new cuss word replacement whilst around Clark. “So what do I have to do to fix it?”

“I'm prescribing you some iron pills and recommending food rich in iron and other minerals to help you and the baby out.”

Her eyes grew wide. “B-Baby?”

“Oh, yes. Your blood work also shows that you're currently pregnant.”

“Oh my God!”

“Are we seriously going to be those friends that are knocked up at the same time?!” Violet laughed before hugging the woman. “Congratulations!”

It was a bittersweet moment for Matt. He squeezed his ex's hand. “Congrats.”

The gears in Clark's head were obviously turning. “So there's a baby in Miss Shea's stomach too?”

“Allegedly,” Shea replied.

The girl wrinkled her nose. “How does the baby get in the stomach?”

“Anddddd that's my cue,” Matt said as he turned on his heel and exited the room with the girl in his arms. “Want a soft pretzel?”

“Yes!”

The women burst into laughter.

“The universe works in the craziest ways because we literally just looked at furniture for nurseries,” Violet said. “Now you get to pick out your own.”

“I wouldn't be so quick about this. I've been pregnant before and it usually ends horribly.”

“This one won't,” Violet assured. “We'll keep you on those pills and make sure you eat nickels or some shit.”

“Aww, I love nickels!”

The women cackled just as Naomi hesitantly  entered the room. She cleared her throat before she spoke. “I can't express how sorry I am that this happened to you. Because I'm married to Raven, I automatically bare some of the responsibilities for her mistakes. And from the bottom of my heart, I'm truly sorry,” she sniffled.

“You're married to a goddamn neanderthal, sweetheart,” Shea replied. “And I swear that whenever I see her again, I'm going to kill her. I hope that you have life insurance on her, I hope that you have a burial plot for her and I hope that you have a little black dress ready to wear because I'm literally going to stomp her into the ground- as a matter of fact, you won't even need a funeral home to do the job for you. I’m going to bury that bitch,” she fumed.

“No, no,” Violet intervened. “You won't be doing anything like that.”

“Violet, I understand that she's one of your best friends but she threw a full fucking bottle of wine at my head! I have twenty stitches because of her!”

“I know and it's not even about her being my friend, Shea. You're pregnant.”

Naomi nauseously clutched her abdomen. “You're pregnant?” she wheezed out.

“She is,” Violet responded.

“Oh, God,” Naomi panted.

Her friend pushed herself out of her seat. “Are you okay?”

“No! How am I supposed to feel knowing that Raven has attacked this poor pregnant woman 'in my honor’?!”

“To be fair, I didn't know that I was pregnant until a few minutes ago.”

“It’s not fair,” Naomi sniffled. “She shouldn't be attacking people to begin with and I just feel terrible.”

“Where is she?” Violet asked.

“I told her to wait in the lobby. I wasn't sure if you wanted to see her.”

“Not really,” Shea admitted.

“Me either,” Violet said. “For one, she disrespected my home. Two, she traumatized my fucking daughter, which is damn near unforgivable. Three, she ruined my Bridezilla viewing party and my hardwood floors. Four, she left like an idiot without a goddamn apology.”

“Would you guys be willing to accept an apology from her now?”

Shea casually checked her nails while Violet mindlessly twirled a strand of her hair. “No,” they said collectively before laughing.

Naomi was heartbroken. “That's fair. Um, I guess I'll get going. I hope you feel better soon, Shea. Vi... I'll call you later.”

“Alright, sweetie.” Violet kissed her friend on the cheek before turning back to Shea. “We have to figure out how far along you are! Come to my gyno’s office.”

“I'm down.”

“Do you think our morning sickness will be synced up?”

Shea laughed. “Let’s hope not. But seeing you throw up would totally make me throw up, though.”

“Well, we can't both vomit at the same time. Who will hold back our hair?”

The question was trivial but it hit Naomi in a way that reminded her that she'd never experience  pregnancy or be able to have sweet moments like this with her best friend. With tears in her eyes, she slipped out of the room and made her way towards the lobby where Raven greeted her.

“What happened?”

“Shea is pregnant.”

The woman gulped. “I didn't... I didn't hurt the baby, did I?”

“No. I mean, as far as I know. But God, Raven. Why do you have to be so fucking psychotic?!” Naomi stormed pass her wife and out of the hospital doors but Raven was quick on her heels.

“I'm not psychotic!”

“You burn things and you attack people, what else would you call that?!”

“Protective!”

“Oh, yeah,” she scoffed. “Protect me from my best friend who now hates you and wants hardly anything to do with me because of it.”

Raven paused. “Vi hates me?”

“She's livid for the following reasons: you disrespected her home. You traumatized CC, which will never forgive you for. You ruined her Bridezilla viewing party and her hardwood floors. You left without apologizing.”

“I’m sorry, I blacked out! I could apologize now and-”

“It's too late to apologize, Raven! You can't react in situations now and think later! That's how people end up incarcerated for murder!”

The woman pondered for a second. “Surprisingly, I've never been to jail.”

Naomi threw her arms up in exasperation and proceeded to storm off.