#and your shitty luck

[jotunvali02]

That's why I had stop searching for work and enlisted to a supposed qualifying training that supposedly gives you a job with 100% certainty at the end.

And now I'm here at that bullshit again, cause even THAT didn't work.

That fucking bullshit that fucks up my mind so easily, that brings you rapidly crazy, depressive, anxious, near mad... because even 10 years later it's the exact same, ignorant and paternalistic bullshit.

I'm autistic. I'm not retarded or a fucking infant! So stop bullshitting me with your fake care when you don't even listen to me or never even talked with me!! What you care about is your fucking ignorance and ableism!

It really feels I'm going mad. And I can't sob out loud or scream or bang my head so full of fucking useless knowledge! Or all of the fucking building will hear me.

Seriously, what was the fucking point of that 2-years training if no one will give me a chance to just put them into practice?? Even unpaid practice? WHAT WAS THE POINT?? What's the point of having so many skills and qualities and knowledge if no one cares about it, if everyone always prefer incompetent but experienced and "normal" people??

I see so many fucking people who have the job I want and I'm trained for and who almost have no fucking clue of what they're doing but have that fucking cursed "experience" everyone demand (at that extent, you'll run out of experienced workers and all you'll have left are unexperienced pathetic fuckers like me. You'll just have to close your business and be in deep financiary shit like us and it'll be so fucking deserved!) and who are PAID to do that clueless work!

I have so much more skills and knowledge and seriousness and dedication but hirers always prefer incompetent but "normal" over disabled people, and God forbid if they're autistic or have psychiatric or mental disorders!!

Tell me how s/o is supposed to have years of experience when they've just finished their training AND are disabled/neurodivergent??

Who the FUCK matches ALL of that??

And then you wonder why people in job centers scream or sob or even become violent?

ONE guy, just ONE job center guy & his signature so I can do sth useful and fulfilling in my fucking life and he won't help or even talk to me anymore, while he's the ONLY ONE who legally can help! Not me. Him!

Yes, that's fucked up but that's how French system works, baby!

I've exhausted all the fucking possibilities I was told to try, ALL of them. Only HIS help, only HIS one fucking signature can help me now to have a real, decent job. Or else I'll just belong in the trash. Just because of ONE all-fucking-mighty jerk.

But he won't listen to me. NO ONE listens to me because THEY know my life and my capacities better then me apparently!!

My opinion, my experiences, my life, my voice don't matter. They never did.

Especially to people who HAVE the power and capacity to help. But how the FUCK can you help s/o if you won't listen to them and decide what's better for them instead of them??

The view of a different person just repels or disturbs them "normal people" and their poor little certainties too much. I'm too stupid or too confused to talk about myself or talk at all and they, the clever and caring grown-ups who know everything better than us know better than ME about me!

But look where it leads me: a fucking DEAD END!!

A fucking dead end I'm told to run into, over and over, and over, and over, and over again. Maybe I'll go through it I smash myself into it enough times like they seem to have been "advising" me for 10 fucking years...

(i should use that metaphor if he ever reaches me again...)

I'm going mad, madder and madder...

Maybe that's what they and this fucked-up system intend to. Thus, no crazy and retarded freaks to take care of or work with, pheew... And we'll stay where we truly belong, in a coffin or a fucking asylum.

Because of this sore bullshit I turn closer and closer to good for the psychiatric institution.

[edenfire]

🌸💜 oh darling~ 💜🌸

I'm working on a new not-so-secret art piece and I just love stolas so muchh I HAD to share him🥺💗💞🌸

[zylphiacrowley]

I need everyone to know that if you ever want to do maps and you want all the loot, just bring me along. My map luck is abysmal. I don't think I have ever won a loot roll in a map.

[harvestmoth]

okay now for a bunch of scribbles im not finishing

[autismmydearwatson]

Kallus watching his new boss Grand Admiral Thrawn beating the shit out of Imperial assassin droids for fun: yeah I can take him.

[toriliashine]

just started playchoices terrorfest and the mc is going through it. accused of being a murderer, got punched in the stomach, wasn't even allowed to throw hands and ran away due to plot reasons, stalked, only half apologised to by her bitch sister, is given fugly 1st love interests [i hope this isnts a one LI love interest book bc im about to be the most emotionally unavailable girl ever] im crying.

[lloydfrontera]

'live up to your name' au where og knight of blood and iron javier gets "killed" in the middle of the plot but instead of dying he's transported to modern south korea, waking up in a random alleyway with no injuries whatsoever. and because he's a protagonist no matter what universe he is in, despite being deeply disoriented and confused when he sees a group of thugs harassing a guy he steps in and chases them off with no problem and barely any mention of cutting off limbs. and then after making sure the guy is okay he very sheepishly asks him if he could please help him because he was lost and had no idea of where he was or how he got there

and kim suho who just saw a gorgeous but obviously foreign stranger in awesome cosplay chase off his would be muggers with what looked like a real ass sword and is currently high and smitten in "oh thank god i didn't get my week's work salary stolen" endorphins and is about to have the weirdest week of his life innocently says "yes of course"

[handageddon]

Can some tumblr witches who live somewhere where yellow toadflax is good luck come and scour my garden for all the toadflax so I don't have to spend the rest of five years fighting this shit?

It's bad luck here because it outcompetes my cherry tomatillos and even though idk if they're edible (adjacent heavy landscaping) they are still extremely cute and I love them and I hate toadflax

[doubleedgemode]

I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.

First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)

Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)

I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)

[mmmthornton]

you are one in an unlimited supply of hateful mid-30s tumblr users suffering from main character syndrome and making everyone else around you pay for it. maybe you should grow up and stop being so shallow and youd be less unhappy with your clearly lacking life :)

Better a main character syndrome than Pretend Omniscient Narrator Syndrome where you just blatantly make up your own narrative about people online you don't like. I'll keep being a main character of my own life though and do what I wanna do, you let me know how your fictional play about how 30 year old women are too old to enjoy the Internet works out when you too are forced to recon with your own age and mortality. 😬

[bipbopdepmop]

im going down with this ship put something cool on my gravestone

here you go!!!

[edenfire]

🚭Day 2 - Smoking 🚭

oh the intimacy of lighting another man's cigarette😳💗💞

[crabfisher]

i used to be able to make references sheets so consistently and easily for characters of mine but now it's always this whole thing and I hate doing it and i hardly ever actually complete any of the ones i start

[kj-yikes]

i got new glasses and took a selfie and i love them i think i look so prettyyyyyy

[rpfisfine]

my friend pisses me off soooooo bad

[orangepanic]

"Fine. But Miss Sato comes with me."