#and you won't feel the need to vague as much on your blog or going on long rants

[blakbonnet]

recommend getting a friend to send that one wild post/tags/comment to, it keeps your energy clear and autumnal

[hannieoftheyear]

Warning Signal (jww) TEASER

Two targets you need to figure out, alongside the one person you most despise, and zero mistakes allowed.

As the lives of your targets get more and more intertwined, and your plan gets more complicated, memories of the past and feelings you thought you could put aside threaten to ruin the mission.

pairing: criminal!wonwoo x criminal!reader

w.c: 915 (for the teaser), full work will be over 20k

release date: tbd

genre: exes to partners in crime to lovers, violence, angst, smut (not in the teaser)

content warnings (for the full work): vague descriptions of what their "job" actually is, criminal acts, stalking, spying, invasion of privacy, use of fake names, fake identities, stealing (both reader and wonwoo do all of the above), mentions of guns, fight scenes, blood, murder, death (not the main characters) | the story will contain flashbacks written in cursive (such as this teaser)

note: this is very different from what i've been posting so far, but i had a dream about a similar story and couldn't get it out of my mind.

on that note, i'm not sure when i'll be able to finish this bc it's taking a lot of time to make sure everything makes sense and for the relationship to be fully fleshed out. it might be done by january (that sounds so weird to say omg)

if anyone wants to be on the taglist, comment this post! (minors or ageless blogs won't be added)

“The bit is over Wonwoo, go home.”

“Let’s just work together, one last time.” His voice reaches closer and closer from behind you until you stop walking and force yourself to face him. 

“Not only do I not need your help, I especially don’t want it.” 

“Look, I’m not asking you to forgive me, just–” He appears to have regretted what he was about to say, and you don’t wait for him to gather his thoughts. 

“Just what? Understand it? We’re way past that don’t you think?” 

“We’re good together,” your brain glitches with astonishment before he corrects himself, “We always worked better when we did these jobs together, you know that.” 

“You have some serious nerve, after last time, the least I should do it rat you out right this second.” 

“You wouldn’t do that, it’s not your style.” 

“To fuck over my partners? No, that’s yours.” 

He's trying to charm his way into your life again, like the past few months could disappear at the flash of a smile, and you'll be damned if you let him.  

“Let’s just see it as a mere trade of information, nothing more.” Neither his voice nor his expression suggests that he’s trying to deceive you, and you hate that you're even considering his offer.  

“And I wouldn’t have to see your face ever again after?” 

“That would be your loss, but sure. One last job and we’d be done.” 

“Are you being serious?” 

It’s hard to trust him. No matter how much he insists it’s his only goal. But it’s true that whatever knowledge he collected on that dude would save you a lot of time and resources, and you have to do this job well to prove yourself to your boss. 

“Dead serious. I promise.” 

A year before… 

The waitress, with purple bags under her eyes and bleach blonde hair tied up in a bun on the edge of falling undone, sighed on the way to tell the same client, for the fourth time in two hours, that it was prohibited to smoke inside the establishment. You saw that man doing countless other illegal things while sitting on that same dark booth the entire night, but the bar drew the line at smoking indoors. 

He huffed at her but ultimately put the cigarette out against the wood table. There were fewer and fewer people the more the time passed, and soon enough, it was going to be too suspicious for you to still be there. You couldn’t be the only customer left in the bar when he left, but the person he was still waiting for was the key to all this, and you couldn’t leave without that information. 

An ‘80s country song started playing on the radio, and the man started tapping his fingers against the table, following the rhythm of the classic. It was almost serene, the way he relaxed at the sound of the familiar tune, but the night started to feel more and more like a waste of time. Whatever the deal was with the person who wasn’t showing up, it was clearly not happening. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” A familiar figure sat in front of you at the secluded booth you kidnapped for the whole night. But the smile that appeared on your face at him quickly dissipated. 

“You shouldn’t be here. It’s too empty.” Besides the staff, you and the old man, there were only three people inside the dusty bar at that time, all alone, too drunk and on the brink of leaving. It was almost impossible not to stand out in that crowd. 

“Don’t worry, I called in a few favors.” Just as Wonwoo finished his sentence, a group of at least ten men, talking loudly and in the mood to celebrate something, walked into the tiny bar, disrupting the serenity but providing you with much needed cover. 

“You’re so... resourceful.” Your words mixed with a giggle as the atmosphere changed from calm and musty to a playful bachelor-esque party inside the bar. “How did you know I was here?” 

“I always know where you are, baby.” A chill climbed up your spine at his teasing smile. “And also, I was waiting for a guy to show up here. He’s supposed to be meeting someone.” 

The loud laugh that escaped you almost beat the drunk shouting of the bachelors in volume. It was easy to connect the dots, and it also wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. 

“You know something I don’t?” Wonwoo’s eyes didn’t stray away from the smile on your lips. 

You just giggled as your eyes darted towards the sketchy old man, who was back to smoking, seeing that the staff’s attention was focused on the new customers. You could feel Wonwoo’s gaze stay on you for a second before following yours, and the realization hit him quickly, the years of working together serving their purpose. 

“Yours?” The amusement in his voice made you nod eagerly, sipping on the mocktail that had been sitting untouched on the table for over an hour. “It’s been a while.” 

This job, the thing that you do for a living, got lonely every now and then. Doing everything on your own, not being able to share it with the people closest to you, can take a toll on anyone, no matter how detached they're able to get. So, when you got a chance to work with the one you love, you were for sure gonna take it. 

“I know, it’s gonna be fun.”  

thank you for reading! i love this story and i cant wait to finish it so you all can finally read it!

remember! if you want to join the taglist, comment on this post ♡

[covetyou]

performance enhancement

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Dieter Bravo & gn!reader rating: Teen (18+ only blog!) warnings: anxiety/stress, Dieter Bravo being a stubborn asshole, cute baby animals, vaguely fluffy word count: 1k summary: I couldn't stop thinking about that baby pygmy hippo and what Dieter would do if he saw it, so this fic was born. you're welcome.

follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future fics

"I can't work in these fuckin' conditions!"

You hear him before you see him, sat scrolling through your phone as you wait the few hours still left until you have to pick him up. You'd got here early - as you usually did - even though Dieter was frustratingly late more often than not.

The door to the trailer is wrenched open a moment later, and you're raising your eyebrows in disapproval at the grumpy actor as he flings himself inside the trailer, slamming the door behind him.

"I can't do it," he huffs, turning anxiously in a circle, hands on his hips, running through his hair, balling into fists. "I can't fuckin' do it."

"Do what, Dee?" you say from your position curled up on the small bench seat in the trailer.

"This!" he yells, turning to face you gesturing in the vague direction of his face.

You make a face at him, still clueless as to what he's talking about. In a long line of things Dieter Bravo could be frustrated with "this" didn't really help to narrow it down.

"They want me to," he begins, fannining his eyes. "They want me to leak, and I can't."

"Cry?," you laugh. "Dee, it's in the script, of course they want you to. Have you tried the tear -"

The actor rounds on you, shaking his finger in your direction before you can even reach for your bag to see what you have to hand to help.

"No! I do not need performance aides."

"Dieter, it's just to help yo-"

"No!"

Dieter yanks off the thick knit sweater that makes part of his costume and dumps it uncermoniously onto a chair, shaking his arm in frustration as the sleeve just won't give up its hold on his wrist, growling at the garment when he's finally free. He rounds on you again when he's a little more bare, a little less claustrophobic, and flops down next to you.

"I'm not doing it," he says simply, as he tucks himself in beside you on the bench, and that's that, discussion over. You know better than to argue when he's like this so, with a roll of your eyes, you flip your phone back over and continue your aimless scrolling as Dieter's head finds its place on your shoulder.

He fidgets for a little while, the bench not really big enough for the two of you to curl up, until he's slumped down and half turned toward you, legs splayed out in front of him where yours are tucked beneath you.

"Can I watch?" he murmurs sadly a moment later, his face pressed into your arm and eyes screwed tight.

"Dieter, that's up to you. They're your rules, not mine."

Dieter didn't have a phone of his own. Not right now, anyway. That was locked away back at his house, awaiting the day it could be reunited with its owner. For now, all he had was an old send-texts-and-make-calls-only brick of a phone for emergencies, that he mostly used to bug you at all hours of the day. It was a rare day you weren't greeted with a "u up x" text in the morning, or a garbled jumble of letters as he forgot how to text with a number pad.

"I wanna watch," he mumbles into your arm, face pressed so tightly to you now you can feel his lips move against your skin.

"Then go ahead."

You watch then as he slowly opens one eye, peeking out shyly before opening the other and staring wide-eyed at your phone screen. You're only scrolling mindlessly, not really paying much attention to whatever the algorithm is throwing your way. Some stupid ads, spoilers for a show you're not even watching, the red carpet looks of a movie premiere Dieter was invited to, but couldn't make it, and endless shitty takes from random internet strangers. Just a normal day for the internet, but amazing for the man next to you who had kept himself away from the world of unsolicited advice and badly shot paparazzi pictures for weeks.

"Wait," he says suddenly, sitting up and scooting closer to you. "Go back, what was that?"

You scroll a little slower as you move back through the endless monotony on your phone, until Dieter goes stiff by your side and grips your arm.

"That," he says. "What's that? Is it fake?"

Something in you swells, oddly proud at the man for knowing to question something he'd never seen before rather than taking it at face value. More than once he'd come to you gushing over an image only for you to take one look, see the 8 fingers, and have to break the disappointing news to your employer.

"She's real," you say, opening the video for Dieter to take a look. "She's been everywhere the last few days."

"She's beautiful," he murmurs, transfixed on your phone screen. "Look at her. Get that girl an Oscar. Is there more?"

"Yeah, Dee, there's more."

"Can I see?"

You move to hand him your phone, but he refuses to take it, instead choosing to snuggle into your side as you search for the baby hippo that had taken his attention. A few minutes in you almost expect him to be sleeping by your side, but a small sniffle and the swipe of his hand tells you otherwise. Crying over baby animals wasn't new for Dieter, and each time he did it, you found it unbearably sweet. Eventually, he shifts by your side and squares off his shoulders, before standing, grabbing up his ugly sweater, and pulls open his trailer door with a determination to rival his earlier resignation.

"I think I can go back now."

You don't look up at him, transfixed on the tiny hippo staring back at you from your hands. A 180 flip like this wasn't unusual for Dieter. It probably wasn't even his first for today. Either way, you'd still be here when he got back from filming the last scenes of the day, ready to cart him back to the apartment he insisted you stay with him in.

"Do you need the tear stick? Drops? I've got some in-"

"No," he says with certainty. "No, I've got this. Just... just gonna think of that fuckin' hippo."

[adventuringblind]

I remember you

Max Verstappen x driver!reader

Genre: sad with a happy ending

Request: yes! I hope you like it as much as I do! I’m open for Max, Charles, Lando, Oscar, Daniel, George, Pierre, and poly relationships. Don’t be shy I don’t judge. I promise.

Summary: Max and reader have been pining after each other for awhile now but haven’t confessed. When an accident changes everything, Max fears he may have missed his change.

Warnings: major accident, description of injuries, pining,

Notes: written in third person

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feeling hurt if you ignor this but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

She’d managed to get the second seat at Redbull. She gets along well with her teammate and she’s managing to keep up with him. Her team is first in the constructors championship. Life couldn’t have been better for her. Until the smoke filled her nostrils and the orange tried to lick at every part of her.

Her road was filled with hard work and she was so proud of herself for making it this far. Starting with alphatauri and finally getting the second Redbull seat.

Her and Max had been friends since she started in formula 1. Though it was obvious there was more to their friendship then they would confess to themselves or each other. Everyone teased them about it. But neither had been able to confront those feelings.

Her having to deal with the already male dominated sport and being asked ridiculous questions. Him defending his title and struggling with how to communicate emotions.

The way the two drove together in sync. Trusting each other to make the right calls. It was a testament to the connection between them.

Outside the track the talked often. Pushing each other, encouraging one another, it was a sight to see for every party involved.

“Are you ever going to confess to her?” Daniel asked Max one afternoon.

Max looked longingly across the garage where you were talking to your engineers. “But things are already so good. I don’t want to ruin it and I’m not sure she feels the same.”

“I just hope you don’t regret it one day, mate.”

It wasn’t even a day later that Max realized Daniel had been right.

~

She was set to place second, the race closer then you would’ve liked with a few laps to go. She’d been aggressively defending from the Mercedes behind her.

The Mercedes switched to trying an overtake on the outside. The proximity to her far too close for her liking. She thought she’d be given the space. She overestimated.

The confusion quickly over took her senses. One minute she was driving on the track and the next she was spinning. It was so fast she hadn’t even realized her car was in the air. The force of the impact was so great at one point she lost consciousness.

She woke up to her ears ringing and heat dancing around her skin. People screaming her name. She needed to move but couldn’t. The halo of the car had been bent in odd directions, preventing a her from an easy escape.

She tried to keep her panic away but But it was getting harder to breath and the heat was getting more intense. She tried pushing herself a little further out. Grasping at anything that could help her.

She could vaguely hear a familiar voice screaming her name. The copper taste in her mouth getting stronger. Then a hand. Trying to pull her out of the intensifying heat.

Hazy sky started to come into view. Her body trying to succumb to the darkness once again. But his blue eyes wouldn’t let her. Her body limp as he dragged her away from the danger. Why was he so sad? Hadn’t he won the race?

His mouth was saying words she couldn’t hear. Moving her. Trying his best to keep her awake.

Then he was being pulled away. Fighting whoever it was trining to take him away from her. She didn’t want him to leave. Screaming at him not to let her go. It felt that the farther away he got the more her body hurt. The heat pulling her back in again. Hands lifting her back to the sky. She wanted Max back. The cloudiness of her mind clearly picturing him.

It didn’t take long for the darkness to come back.

~

“How’s she doing” asked Max. It was near the end of the race and he knew she was fighting to keep second.

“She’s fine, just focus on bringing it home.” Came GP’s voice through the radio.

He couldn’t help but check his mirrors every few seconds. Concerned at how close the Mercedes was getting to her car. But he knew she was a fighter and wouldn’t give up easily. He smiled while thinking about her. Maybe Daniel was right. He always talked about living with no regrets.

He’d decided. He would tell you after the race. After she won her fight.

Then it all changed to fast. He saw it happen. Her tire being hit at the perfect angle to send her flying. Tumbling through the gravel. The fire already seen and she hadn’t stopped spinning yet.

He held his breath as he waited. The red flags already out.

“Is she okay GP?” His voice came out panicked. He couldn’t lose her yet. Not before he got to tell her how he feels.

“We don’t know yet.”

His car was pulled over before he could get any farther. Getting out at an inhuman speed and sprinting to where to crash had been.

Her car was melded to the barriers. Halo shifted in odd directions. Fire consuming most of the area at this point. The Marshalls doing their best to put it out.

He knew he was being reckless but he didn’t car. She needed to get out. He could vaguely see her body dangling through the flames.

Max ran over and immediately was trying to grab for her. The Marshalls making to attempt at stopping him. Only spraying where his arms were to help him get her out of the car.

He felt her move. Shoving herself forward. Trying to connect her hand to his. Until finally, they managed.

The heat was becoming unbearable even for him. He quickly tried to pull her body from the car. Weaving her away body through the dented halo. Dragging her farther away from the smoke when he managed to get her out.

He snapped his helmet off, getting breath back into his lungs. Then he snapped off hers. He was yelling her name. Hopefully giving her senses something to hold on to.

Her eyes found his and he immediately was crying in relief. Holding her in his hands. Assessing the damage to her body.

It didn’t take long for the Marshalls to pull him away. Trying to get her into the medical vehicle so they could help her.

He fought them. Every rational part of his brain gone. Needing to stay with her his only priority. Even more so as she reached for him. Softly saying his name. Coughing violently as she did so. Tear staining her cheeks.

Daniel had run to him in the track. Gripping his shoulders and checking over him. Max’s mind was spinning though. Daniels words falling in deaf ears as he led Max away.

Even as they got back to the garage, Daniel didn’t leave. Concern for his friend keeping him posted at his side.

Max did end up winning the race. Only to stand on the podium missing you.

He barely remembers anything about it. Spacing out when Christian drove him to the medical center. The two waiting for any word on the female drivers condition.

Max saw the way blood had pulled into her mouth as she tried to speak to him. The image burned into his brain.

He wanted- no- needed to see her.

So when the doctor finally called her name, he nearly fell over from standing up so fast. The doctor listed every injury she sustained. Including that of major head trauma. Possibly hindering her ability to race ever again.

Max’s hand flew to his mouth. A nausea inducing feeling settling into his stomach. Christian sighed heaving as the doctor walked away. Leaving the two of them be.

“I know it’s hard, but I’ve had to watch you to pine after each other for years. I need you to be strong for her right now. She needs you now more then ever.”

Max could only nod his head. Steeling himself for whatever she needed from him.

As the two walked down to where she was staying, a room in the ICU, he almost cried at the sight. Both in relief and pain for her.

White bandages cover places around her jaw, arms, hands, and chest. Mostly for the burns, a little for her bones. There was a cast around her knee where they had to pop it back into place.

Machines let out a steady beeping sound and wires ran around her bed. A nurse talked her vitals motioned for them to enter.

“She called for someone every time she was awake.” The nurse stated. “It was mumbled but they think the name was Max.”

Christian glanced at Max briefly before turning to look back at the nurse. “Thank you.” Then the nurse turned and left. Leaving them with the sound of their breathing and beeping machines.

Christian patted Max on the shoulder. “I’m going to see how everyone at the garage is doing and report the news.”

Only Max remained at her side. Gently kissing her bandaged hand. Exhaustion taking over his body at some point and falling asleep. His head placed softly next to her.

He woke up an hour to the sound of beeping, only it wasn’t as steady this time. He looked at the woman beside him trying to asses if she was ok. He calmed when he saw her soft smile. Her eyes lighting up at seeing him.

He smiled back. The joy at seeing her awake setting in.

“I don’t remember much, but I remember you.” She rasped. “And I remember loving you for a long time.”

The realization hit him when the doctor meant by head trauma. However, in this moment the girl he loves is alive and just claimed to be in love with him.

“This is actually the first time you’ve said it, but I have also loved you for a long time. And I’ll continue to love you even if you want nothing to do with me.”

He’d help her through this. Even as both of them sat their crying. Then talking about life. He watched her smile through the pain and determined that he never wanted to see you without it again.

[fairuzfan]

Your post about how many people are unknowingly falling for & spreading propaganda... yeah. I typed up a whole spiel of a comment on one of your posts the other day that I ended up deciding not to not actually post because it felt like detailing, but seriously. The amount of well meaning, genuinely anti-zionist people ignorantly sharing zionists' posts because they just don't pick up on the leading undertones is honestly more terrifying than than the amount of actual zionists in some ways.

I'm someone who was born into a doomsday cult, and seeing all these people falling for the exact same blatant (or so i thought lol) recruitment/manipulation tactics I've seen used by them my entire life has absolutely fucking terrifying. These are people who are actively trying to combat zionism, but I guess the general public is so uneducated about propaganda/cult tactics that what immediately reads as blatantly manipulative, misleading bullshit to me just doesn't even register as strange to most people. Not to be repetitive, but seriously: fucking terrifying.

There's so much focus on the way people/groups who want to manipulate you will use language of fear, but in this case especially, people need to realize they will almost always appeal to your compassion before they appeal to your fear.

It's all peace and love and happiness because that's what gets people in the door. You preach (or post) the mushy, happy, fun stuff that makes people feel good to draw them in, and you slowly start peppering in the ideas you actually want to lead them to believe later on once you've got them wanting to believe you.

This also has this added effect of helping the group or person's image. Even the people who you don't manage to draw in will have the impression of you as someone who runs their mouth 24/7 about how you're full of love and want the best for everyone, which is especially useful for when you inevitably want to frame yourself as the victim to demonize the people who will inevitably oppose you. If your first and only exposure to a person is seeing them calling for world peace and universal love, you are much more likely to be inclined to believe they (and by extension their cause) are the sympathetic, loving, peaceful good guys being unjustly targeted.

Sorry for rambling, but like... really. It won't always be something nefarious, of course--the vast majority of the the time, it won't be--but I think we would all be in a much better situation if people took it as a general rule of thumb that you should always be a little suspicious of overly vague talk about peace and love.

You're EXACTLY right. I really appreciate this message, because you put to words a lot of my inherent analysis of arguments and ideas. I like grew up with this rhetoric so it's easy to spot for me, but the way that people speak about "peace" as the overall goal when they're zionist is so blatant to me because there is no material change in the scenario they propose but rather a calmness where Palestinians are ignored.

And picking up on subtext of a lot of messages is something you have to have a muscle for kinda because of how subtle it is. The frightening part is, you're right, that the indoctrination part of zionism is the most harmful part because you appeal to their pathos — their fear, their sense of safety, etc — and you go on down the rabbit hole and slowly start being radicalized and pro-zionism or you might not even be pro-zionism 100% but enjoy... soft zionism as a mutual of mine put it once (if you read this and want to be tagged, lmk). Which soft zionism is the MAIN opinion in many liberal circles btw, its not an uncommon opinion.

I even remember once sharing a post by a zionist because i saw them talk about esims but when i went on their blog a few days later because something rubbed me the wrong way, I noticed their pinned and I was like "oh dam I gotta delete that other post" like that's how often this happens.

Idk, I try to combat this by putting sources or approaching from a standpoint of logical arguments rather than identity-based politics (although, sometimes i think there are some things that people who are a certain identity can be the only true experts on) so that I try to encourage actual engagement with ideas and walking them through thought processes rather than "I'm palestinian so just trust me."

Like even with my one fact checking list, idk if I succeeded but I wanted to emphasize that there are multiple factors you should consider when confronting ANY sort of information and should not blindly trust things. News sources have regularly burned or ignored Palestinians so I know a lot of us are really sensitive to these things, but I don't know! I hope people can engage with ideas more than just surface level thinking in general because it helps everyone when you actually interact with the point of view the other person is providing rather than just blindly trusting/distrusting people.

[what-the-stories-have-foretold]

do you have any headcanons for griffin? just finished babel and i simply NEED more of him! i’m going insane

That was my reaction to finishing the book too 😭

Griffin Lovell x fem!reader

Warnings: I tried to keep the time vague/og, but modern au here and there is possible, can be read as both though i think, i looked up the one chinese term on a blog. If it's wrong, pls let me know 💕

Notes: looked at a few Griffin scenes again for this

Not that this is news, but Griffin is actually pretty awkward, though there are situations were he can cover it up - or forget about it

Specifically if there's an interesting discussion to have or...a rather heated one

he may have been feeling weird about talking to that person earlier, but now he's all but insulting them

I think, no matter your personality, it'll be hard to get closer to him - especially dating-wise

Shy girls that look at him with wide eyes are cute for sure; headstrong girls near intimidate him and often put him in a state of awe

But he's suspicious by nature - or no, that's not right. Suspicious by experience. He knows he's easily overlooked: clothes that border on ragged, a figure that so easily slinks into the shadows. How were you able to notice him?

e.g. girls that seem so interested in what he has to tell eerily remind him of Evie

his first thought is always that they are adorable, he's happy he's met someone who wants to know more about his cause. Then dread comes.

I will say, the longer you're in the friend group (Anthony, Robin etc.) the more his suspicions will cease

However, he can be pretty demanding concerning political activism

If you're anything like me (easily overwhelmed and feeling helpless at the prospect of pro-activity/a hard time formulating political opinions in discussions), be ready for arguments and much frustration on his part

It'll take some time for him to understand that you might need his help/patience here and there

He expects a lot from family and friends (politically), but he does learn

While your relationship will probably have quite the rocky start, several years down the line you two will be well-attuned to each other

Because he is so suspicious, Griffin is quite lonely. Having someone care for him, genuinly, will throw him off his rhythm. He's a bit jumpy, give him some time (it's very apparent in the way he always fiddles with a lighter. He doesn't even smoke)

When the relationship has strengthened, Griffin loooves taking you with him to discussions, protests and the like

Really proud of you when you stand your ground in an argument. Barely hides his grin

Griffin likes holding you from behind, like you're a teddy bear. Especially when he's sleepy. Kisses your lower chin or neck when he does so

Often goes for a kiss on your temple and holds you around your waist when standing beside you

Greatly enjoys long make-out sessions with you, although he often only goes for several little pecks or lingering kisses on your lips

In the relationship he's pretty awkward as well. He's just not used to social interactions. Especially with a gf. Might treat you more like a friend at first.

He won't ever admit it, and it's really hard to notice, but when he sees you and Robin have fun together his heart swells (especially when he calls you jiĕjie)

He really cares about Robin, and the way his little brother always takes your side instead of his doesn't even hurt his feelings, it just makes him realise how deep in he is

And there he thought he had left love and all of that behind

[deityofproendos]

"I am all deities in one. You may endeavor your best for thousands of years and have all mankind with you in your search. But you cannot understand My Reality."

Quote stolen from a random quote website

(pt: I am all deities in one. You may endeavor your best for thousands of years and have all mankind with you in your search. But you cannot understand My Reality. End pt)

Welcome, be not afraid.

(pt: Welcome, be not afraid.)

We are the Gods and Goddesses and Deities of the pro endo court, we accept offerings in the form of Pokémon cards and food. (We'll try not to play into the religion joke too much as to not be disrespectful or trigger anyone! ^^)

Other accounts we run: @edible-emerald - Main account @xenomayhem - Xenogender (and other terms) coining account We also have a lot more, feel free to ask :D

Not going to talk much about the mods or the system running it, but we're mixed origins, esogenic, and hexabyssgenic. We're also a median and the terms we use for ourselves usually change around. We're also a plurallet but the label is semi-temporary. Our headcount is at around 14 including fragments but expect it to grow!!

What will this account be for? Well, we've wanted to make one for a while but this will be a Build A Headmate blog (or a BAH blog)! What is that, you may ask? Well, often for many systems (such as ourselves) sometimes we split fragments who don't have a full identity yet and need one to 'latch onto' to fully form! It can also be used by willogenic systems and really just anyone who wants to :) ANTI RADQUEER!!

We haven't made a source list yet, just ask and we'll tell you if we know it :) We know a lot of indie animations, and minecraft SMPs, if that helps!

BAH template, tagging system, and other court members under the cut!

To ask for a BAH request, send in an ask asking for a basic, medium, or detailed pack! Be as specific as you want, or as vague as you want. Your decision! Keep in mind the more detailed you are the longer it will take. If you want anything removed, please let us know!

Here's what's in each pack:

Basic pack:

Name

Pronouns

Gender

Sexuality/orientation

Species

Source (if applicable)

Role

Age

Short description of appearance

Anything else you want us to add!

-- From here, everything added on will not be in the basic pack, but will be in the medium pack.

(pt: From here, everything added on will not be in the basic pack, but will be in the medium pack. end pt)

Personality

Likes

Dislikes

Alterhuman identities

Hobbies

Aesthetic(s)

Faceclaim/Picrew/art (art would be made by us and usually would have to be requested)

-- From here, everything added on will not be in the basic or medium pack, but will be in the detailed pack.

(pt: From here, everything added on will not be in the basic or medium pack, but will be in the detailed pack. end pt)

Pos front triggers

Neg front triggers

Typing quirk

Signoff

Favorite things

--

Tagging system:

#pro endo court - Most things

#deity speaks - Most posts

#reblog - reblogs

#bah/#build a headmate/#bah blog/etc. - BAH requests & BAH related stuff

#syscourse - syscourse posts and reblogs, we won't actively argue with people on this account, but may talk about it occasionally.

#deity syscourse - this is another syscourse tag, but this one is here for easier tag filtering if you don't want to block all syscourse posts.

#off topic - not plurality related, just rambling

#roleplaying - roleplay posts

#deity lore - roleplaying OR general character lore

#pro endo court lore/#court lore - lore of us/other blogs

--

The court:

@queenofproendos

@the-dame-of-endos

@princessofendos

@kingofproendos

@jesterofproendos

@peasantofproendos

@dragonofendos

@baroness-of-endos

@dukeofproendos

@seroftheproendos

@knightofproendos

@darkwizardofproendos

@prince-of-pro-endos

@kitsune-of-pro-endo

@otterofproendos

@lapdogofproendos

@housemaiden-of-pro-endos

@lady-of-endos

@angel-of-pro-endos

@doctor-of-proendos

@scientistofproendos

@outlander-of-endos

@guarddog-of-proendos

@civilianofproendos

@marquessofendos

@magiciansofproendo

@alienofproendos

@thane-of-pro-endos

@the-star-of-pro-endos

@goblinofproendos

@bardofproendos

@catofproendos

@the-fae-of-proendos

@the-archer-of-pro-endos

@crow-of-pro-endos

@the-vicepresidentofproendo

@shapeshifterofproendo

@ranger-of-pro-endos

@themimicofproendos

Send me an ask if i missed you and you want to be added!

[amerricanartwork]

Do you have any tips for drawing? Anything really

Well, "any tips for drawing" is rather vague, so I'll just offer some general advice for now, which is more about how to learn and improve than how to draw any specific thing. If you'd like some more specific advice, though, I'd love to help where I can!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Use references when you're stuck on something! No artist is ever "too good" to use references when they want to draw a particular thing better. References can be photos or other artists' art (ideally with credit depending on how closely your art resembles the original), though I don't use the latter much because trying to copy another artist's style typically doesn't work as well as just keeping the inspiration in the back of my mind and going with the flow.

Speaking of that, finding an art style is a gradual thing, from what I've experienced. To me, it seems to be a thing that develops over time as a result of how different artists solve different problems. You don't have to stress about getting any one "style" with your art; just focus on solving problems with your drawings, and it'll develop its own unique look by virtue of you being a unique person and consciously or subconsciously adding new things to the solutions you find. If you are looking to emulate a specific style, try to pick one that solves problems you have with drawing or (to go off the previous point) appeals to what you enjoy, or perhaps what specific genre of art you plan to do.

To go further, Always look to solve problems. If you're struggling to draw a particular thing, try to figure out what specific part of the drawing is challenging for you, and look for ways to improve on that aspect. If you realize you struggle drawing hands — or even more specific, you struggle drawing hands in dramatic poses where the fingers are curled — for example, set the goal to find a method to draw hands in those kinds of poses, then relax. I usually find a solution to these kinds of problems within days of setting the goal, and I don't even have to search super hard. In fact, sometimes more comfortable methods of drawing certain things just pop in my mind!

Save any tutorials or references you find especially helpful! I like to bookmark YouTube tutorials I like, as well as the blogs or websites of any artists whose work I find inspiring. I also have a HUGE Pinterest board with tons of tutorials on drawing all sorts of things, so that definitely helps!

This is perhaps one of my biggest tips: try to get in tune with your "artist intuition" in a sense. Recognize what things you already do and don't like to draw, not just in the subject, but the general process you use to think about and draw an image, what parts of said art process you enjoy the most (line art, coloring, shading, sketching, etc.), and what kind of art you want to make in the future or what purpose you plan to use your art for. I've found understanding these things about myself really helps figure out which art tutorials will be more or less useful, and which art styles/processes feel comfortable to me. This is not to say you should never seek to improve, but rather, look for a means of improvement that fits your natural drawing preferences and habits. Maybe the Loomis method isn't the easiest way for you to visualize the human head, and another method works better. As long as you get the result you want, the process can be tailored to fit you specifically, even if that means using a process that's obscure or even exclusive to you.

You will never be perfect, and can never stop improving. So don't worry so much about making sure you're "good enough" to draw the ideas in your head. I know it can be worrying to think you aren't skilled enough in certain aspects to bring your ideas to fruition, but because you can never stop improving, if you need to be "good enough" before you can draw the things you love, you'll be waiting forever. So don't bottle up your ideas just because you think they won't turn out very professional. Instead, just do your best in the moment and note what you can get better at afterwards. And worst-case scenario, you can always come back and redraw the idea once you've improved.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Okay, well, this was the stuff I could think of so far right now. I hope this helps!

[oscconfessions]

i dont get people's obsession with book making up with/forgiving people from her past because is her whole arc in tpot not about moving on from the past and finding new friends. idk people really want her and ice cube or match or pencil or taco or you get the point to make up and i don't see the point. let her have new friends. let her move on. not everything has to end with everybody being happy and silly together. they can be on bad terms/not talking/literally not friends. it's ok guys. I Really Just Want Them To Move On From Each Other and for people to stop forcing her back into toxic environments from her past

i think book confronting her past is important and i personally feel that she's been avoiding it (her lack of objection towards ice cube leaving her in tpot 1 and her dreading having to deal with it in tpot 10) so obviously it shouldn't just be swept under the rug but i Do Not feel like book owes match or pencil (especially pencil because match has been shown to at least be trying to improve. iirc i don tremember like anytihn gfrom bfb LOL) forgiveness. She shouldn't have to be forced to suck up and go back with people who hurt her. i genuinely think it's best that they go their seperate ways.

^ i also feel like the whole "they should just go their seperate ways" thing applies to icebook. their relationship in bfb was mutually toxic and both of them hurt the other with a lack of proper communication and whatnot. soooooo many people want ice cube and book to make up and be friends again it tpot but they're Not Good For Each Other!!! also book hasn't proven that she's grown enough from her time in bfb to even handle being around ice cube again without repeating her same mistakes towards her. ice cube has no reason to not dislike her right now because she's just acting the same as she did in bfb towards her in tpot 12. if book wants to have a chance at being with ice cube again she needs to realize /what/ she did wrong; book and ice cube's boundaries were always a mess and a big problem in their relationship was that constant pushing of boundaries by book, something that she saw no issue with because ice cube never spoke up about it until it got to an extreme point.

i fear if book and ice cube become friends again in tpot they'll A. just repeat their same mistakes or B. have all of those mistakes conveniently disappear so book faces no consequences for her mistakes in bfb which is like Not Good

i get wanting your fav friendships to interact again but *insert nerd emoji here* it makes no sense for her character and the arc they're trying to give her this season acshually

book needs to accept that her past doesn't define her so she can move on from that and move on from her past friendships. she needs to accept that those people are gone for a reason instead of chasing after them. She Needs To Actually Learn A Lesson And Change, Tpot Writers

vaguely related but dont get me wrong i love icebook (peep the blog lol) but maaaaaaaaaan i don't like seeing it portrayed all fluffy and happy and wholesome. you do you but GAFHGFDGFDKG there's so much interesting stuff about the flsaws in their relationship and just how disgustingly attached book is to ice cube and how ice cube allows this to happen until it's too much for her to handle and how book focuses so much more on ice cube than herself and they're so awfully codepdendent and they suck at communication and boundaries and they were honestly always doomed to fail They Won't Work Out Together they're tied by fate and can't live without each other even if it's hurting them and AND AND AND make their relationship uglier it won't hurt to have ship content that's not 100% happy fluffy all the time no flaws ever fix-it fic material (obligatory you do you i don't care that much this is my opinion you are allowed to do whatever you want)

.

[wri0thesley]

i have received a plethora of lucas asks recently, answering them all beneath the cut because i do sometimes still feel a tiny bit guilty oc-posting too much here!

general cws for cannibalism and murder and yandere, also cws beneath the cut for menstruation and emetophobia!

I do not know enough about Minecraft to let you know if this is possible! Games with no internet connection on consoles that have no internet connection might be permissible, if he thinks you're well-behaved and deserve a reward - but otherwise, I'm afraid you are Out Of Luck. Perhaps ask him to buy you Lego instead.

Lucas would have burnt her with the boiling water, probably - or pinched her nose until she'd have no option but to open her mouth. Usually, being angry makes him enter a kind of fugue state - he's surprisingly in control of himself during that punishment, but only because reader is well-behaved. If they continued to disobey him, there's no telling how mad he might have gotten!

And gosh. That sounds awful. I chose that punishment specifically because I thought it could be explained away if indeed that reader ever had to return to the hospital - but honestly? Lucas enjoys being a caretaker. Making a reader so terribly dependent on him wouldn't be that much of a burden. He'd probably not go about it the right way - his medical expertise is mostly what might happen on a battlefield - but he'd not be all that angry about a darling who couldn't speak any longer.

@drabblesandimagines hello! Welcome to my Other Blog fgbknjfng. Ostensibly this is my writing blog and the other blog is my OC/Art blog but sometimes those things overlap and such is the nature of things! I am very happy my Awful Cannibal Man has made himself at home, it makes me feel very happy when people are interested in my OCs! ;w;

It is always so funny to me how often you all seem to want to have Lucas take care of you during your periods. I mean, he'd be good at it! The man is whipped for his darling, it's one of his very few redeeming qualities (in between the anger and the murder and the cannibalism). I don't think he'd nap with you - he's not one for taking middle of the day naps! - but he'd absolutely hold you and whisper tender things and take care of you whilst you napped.

I don't think I could be with Lucas because I need the internet to live. I would be bouncing off the walls due to my need for wi-fi. He'd also be dealing with my at my Worst (off my medication) so I fear he'd simply just Murder Me Due To My Own Annoyingness.

Hello anon! I honestly don't think it's something that would register with him; he doesn't much care about that kind of personal appearance. The most he's likely to do is want to choose reader's clothing (he prefers cute, modest and traditional styles - cotton dresses with embroidery and such for femme darlings, trousers and shirts and such for masc darlings). I've mused on him with other's OCs with plenty of piercings before, he's mostly unbothered by them - he might not clock that they're for cultural reasons, but he does listen to his darling when they talk so he'd be happy enough to learn. Provided the explanation is couched in the vague and not particular moments of their life Before Him!

@carnalcannibal0

He might not realise it was an allergy to begin with! When one starts to eat something as different as human meat, they often have a bad reaction to start with - he's quite used to his darling being sick or needing to throw up after their first few meals. He does generally start with small portions - so he'd absolutely be trying to get one 'accustomed' to it!

If the sickness doesn't abate, he might start to worry. He wouldn't jump to an 'allergy' unless they told him - but the first option he'd try would be various new ways of cooking it, using various different cuts of the human in order to see if there are different reactions (more/less fatty parts, for instance!). He hates waste. Worst comes to worst, he won't make reader eat meat - but they might start to have other issues due to lack of meat in their diet (he's not letting them eat animal for anything). And, naturally, he's still eating it and he's still expecting them to help cook it!

[btr-rewatch]

BTR REWATCH MINI POST

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 8: “Big Time Break”

While I will not be covering this episode in full (I do have some gifsets from it, though), I do wish to ramble a bit about Kendall and Katie, because they've got some great moments together in it.

So. Shows that portray close and healthy sibling dynamics. Makes me insane, right? Right. Siblings who love and look out for each other. When each one manages to be The Protector of the other in some way, regardless of age difference. Brilliant stuff.

And for a show that so often relies on absurdity and just plain off-the-walls humor, it manages to have depth as well, if you're looking for it. Which I am. Why else would I have created this blog but to analyze this delightful series?

Kendall and Katie may possibly be one of my favorite fictional siblings. From the very first episode, there's such a strongly established bond that you can sense even though they really don't interact that much. You see it in the way that Kendall immediately (happily) complies with Katie's request to hear the "Giant Turd" song and when Katie is going on about how often Kendall sings—including when she can't sleep at night.

I won't go into all my thoughts and feelings on the Knight family situation and how a lot of who Kendall is was likely forced upon him when he became "man of the house," but...those thoughts are there. Might explore them at a later date in another post or in a fic, but anyway! As you make your way through the first season, their relationship solidifies more, and you see the warmth. The way that they look out for each other, and the fierceness with which they love each other. Katie is an independent, tough cookie, but she's still a little kid who sees her big brother as a role model and needs his guidance. And Kendall, being the guy who always tries to be there for others and set a good example, does a wonderful job of looking after her while also knowing when to step back. In a lot of ways, he's a combination of brother, father-figure, and friend, which I have OTHER thoughts about (because that is a lot of weight to carry around at 16).

Focusing in on "Big Time Break" though, Kendall's storyline deals with him still wanting to get to know and befriend Jo, even though she has a boyfriend. At one point, Katie overhears Jo on the phone and discovers that Jo doesn't have a boyfriend at all; she's been pretending to have one for fear of romantic pursuits interfering with her career. Perfectly understandable to want to prioritize in life, of course, but Katie is not happy to hear of the deception.

Jo has been LYING to her dear big brother?? Now, she could just sit back and not get involved. After all, Kendall and Jo are older and have their own confusing, teenage lives. It'd be okay if she wanted to shrug and let them figure it out themselves. It doesn't have to be her business.

But Katie Knight can't do that. She goes right over and pulls Kendall from his conversation in a way so very fitting of her character.

This is another aspect of their dynamic that I really like: Katie's complete lack of fear to take charge when needed. Kendall isn't listening to her? She just rolls her eyes and drags him by his ear. Katie Knight, expert on gettin' things done.

She then lets Kendall know that he's been getting played "like a fiddle." Not wanting Jo to be suspicious of their conversation, she cleverly advises Kendall to turn and give Jo the "my little sister is crazy gesture," to which I must include another gif because I love Kendall's execution. He's got the best expressions.

They end the conversation with Katie essentially challenging Kendall to do the right thing, which, in her mind, is to confront Jo and get the truth out of her.

And I love this for two reasons. 1. Katie's vaguely threatening reminder that she looks up to him and 2. They have an adorable handshake! When did they come up with this?? It's so sweet, and I love them.

Lol, so much for a "mini post," but oh well. Kendall and Katie are wonderful siblings, and it delights me. I'm glad they didn't go the route of them being the type of siblings who are always bickering with each other or who ignore each other/generally just don't care. Give me siblings who love each other, who get invested in each other's lives, and who have silly little secret handshakes.

[loquarocoeur]

Hey lovely! I’m back w another anon, at this point I’ll put an emoji so you know it’s the same person saying hi bc I’m not sending this on my blog name but ashshsjsh.

The asks and your responses on the spanking shit have me wanting to send this ask that I’ve been thinking about, but like. After the end of ‘pushing buttons’ I rlly enjoyed the bit where charles was almost insecure, and max responded the way he did so beautifully about how he loves charles the most bc he’s charles and what about it him he finds so loving and hot and how he was mentioning Charles’s pleasure too and that just. Really made me want to have a fic perhaps on the doms pleasure a bit. Not entirely but if you’d want to I’d love for you to get into charles head and thoughts a bit. It’s hard to explain what I mean because I’m being vague bc I’m embarrassed enough typing this as is lmfao but I hope you kinda get what I mean here? How you were talking about charles headspace in the other ask and everything I just got very Inchrested

I just love this verse and the way you write and maybe I die everytime I see another blog post of yours about some smutty shit! Maybe!

- 🦢 (I’ll make myself the swan emoji anon bc why the fuck not. Hi it’s me I sent the asks like max speaking Italian for maybe one line perfectly and made the suggestion about the ‘monza fic having the hotel tifosi chanting. Idk I just wanted to lyk it was me ahahshsjjs)

Okay hi, hello, I'm here with my thoughts now and absolutely YES, prepare for an essay:

Like idk, I've been meaning and trying to get into Charles' head a bit more since forever, but it is just quite hard nailing him down, he's just a very complex character nowadays with that duality between his 'dom persona' I guess and then absolute golden retriever, head over heels, bend over backwards, and jump when Max says jump sweetheart he is outside of that headspace

It's just there's just so many things from Charles' perspective to think of, you know, specifically talking about sex scenes now:

Like, okay, first of all, he's just a man, Max barely needs to take off his shirt. Like he's absolutely insatiable, he goes insane for a glimpse of Max's stomach, the only time he won't even try to start anything in the shower is if he got an orgasm five minutes ago, so obviously there's the aspect that he just thinks Max is fucking hot, just looking at Max does it for him, and also men are men, it feels good getting their dicks wet I guess

But then there's also obviously the thing that we don't talk about enough in fandom and that's that doms like being dominant just as much as subs like being submissive

And you know it's hard to nail it down and elucidate it, because we don't have enough examples for it, because (and this is also totally fine of course) fandom is just usually very focused on the perspective of more submissive people for probably many reasons which we won't get into rn, but the point is like you have to make this shit up as you go, there's not a script and an easy how-to like there is for writing submissive perspectives because we've all read thousands of those of course

Because like obviously Max technically has as much if not more control over the situation as Charles does with safewords and all, but Charles obviously LIKES being or feeling in control

There's kind of this underlying societal belief that we often get where it's just perceived as inherently bad when someone wants or likes to be in control or in a position of power, which is why I feel we hear the dom perspective waaay less than the sub one, because ironically, the doms are too shy to speak up I guess lol

But you know Charles obviously likes that he can tell Max what to do and he does it, he likes how Max, just as a person, is quite dominant in the way he behaves, he's not a follower, when someone says sit down Max asks why, and he's no different with Charles when they're just them and there's no dom/subness going on, but he likes how when they're in that space and Charles says sit down Max sits the fuck down

And then I think the thing I always emphasized most is how Charles just gets off on seeing Max feel good, like he gets off on making Max feel so good he loses all function, and that comes back to Charles having just as much of a praise kink as Max, but he doesn't need Max to tell him he's doing good, he needs to see it

And then it's just how do I fit all this in and consolidate it with the way that of course, Charles is far from quiet or reserved during sex, he won't shut up actually, but there's these times when, from Max's perspective, you have no idea what's going on in his head, because he has this talent for just turning his face blank

And don't think I as the author somehow know any more than you do when it comes to Max's perspective like guys idk either, I was just there

But yes, I do hope to elaborate on it a bit more in the future🥰❤️❤️❤️

[anomymoussoapbar]

I'm proship/profiction because I understand that the content somebody creates or is interested in isn't a perfect reflection of how they are irl.

I trust that other proshippers understand how to separate fiction and reality.

I'm anti-censorship; I won't make any exceptions because we've seen in history that once you start making exceptions, it can lead to queer media also being demonized and banned (the best I can think off the top of my head is the trans institute that existed in nazi Germany, which had so many amazing trans resources, getting destroyed by nazis).

I believe people should be able to use art as an outlet for anything. Not every single thing in life needs to be censored, and people do often use art to process feelings and experiences.

I'm against harassing people for their art. Not only does harassing some internet stranger sound like a waste of time, it's bullying too. I don't want to be a bully.

I believe in "don't like, don't look, don't interact" (my own variation of don't like don't read). I have tools to block people and hide content I don't want to see. I'm going to use them. I am responsible for curating my own online experience.

I've seen people online who use proshipping as a coping mechanism. I don't understand how that's possible, but that doesn't really matter so long as those people are safe. I wouldn't deny a victim their coping mechanism unless it endangered their life because that's against my beliefs and I'm not a therapist, so that wouldn't even be my place to speak. I've noticed antis don't like these kinds of victims because they don't fit into the antis' perfect boxes of how they think victims should be, so they often harass and bully and claim victims need therapy/need better therapists. I find this ridiculous because in my and many other's experiences, therapy is inherently proship/profiction and antis ignore this/claim it's not true (idk how you can do that if you're not a psychologist but they're too far gone to argue with). And they don't even offer to pay for the therapy, lol.

Thank you for making this blog and being curious, you're amazing. Sorry that this is kinda long lol

Hello!!! :*)

Thank you so so so much for your views.

I find it interesting how you listed it and specifically how you explained "don't like don't look don't interact" [I really like how you phrased it :*)] which I myself see me doing a lot.

When I read through your explanation, I began getting vaguely reminded of those internet safety PSAs they would make kids watch when you are younger, of curating your own safe environment.

How to report bullying, and to not harass others online as well being points that made me think of those internet safety PSAs LOL

Something I find myself thinking about is on how a lot of what fiction can affect reality is a concern long ago that was likely brought by concerns by parents who were against video games saying it promoted violence.

I also find the idea of fictionally dark themes interesting, as I have realized I. Do often indulge in dark medias. In an oddly comforting way.

I really don't like how people harass proshippers, or anyone in general. And from what I have been gathering, not all proshippers indulge in dark thematics. Perhaps the majority, but the proshipping idea is simply respecting even if you dont share it.

Also, when you mentioned people not being exactly how they write or the creations they make, I realized how a lot of mainstream medias follow this. The creator of most Studio ghibli movies is COMPLETELY different from the peppy and cute movies he makes and the creator of popular horror Manga Junji ito makes a lot of horror visuals and grotesque stories however is just a sweet guy in real life.

I know I bring it up a lot in my posts, but a lot of why media can be triggering for me and sickening is when I see what reminds me of my own traumatic experiences [S/A /COCSA and grooming.] And how no matter how much I filter, it will always end up appearing.

As it makes me physically sick, revolted, and sadly reminds me of what I've so deeply buried.

However, I am ONE side of the S/A survivor victim experience and spectrum. The other is people who find comfort in exploring their feelings and it helps them understand on what happened to them.

And I love art. I express myself through art. I used to draw what happened to me and draw out how I felt with characters. But it would make me feel so much worse. As I am and was at the mental point of connecting so hard to the fictional reality which I built to be so much better than I was in.

I don't really know why I'm saying all of this, I guess I just want to lead to the fact that every survivor has their way of coping, and mine isn't the same as everyone else's. And I am still learning to accept that and educate myself on it. Because I do. I really do want to understand and take away my own personal stigmas.

I have so much more I would love to add but I feel I have been rambling for too long LOL

Oh my goodness I'm so sorry for ranting but anyways, thank you so much for the ask and informing me in this much detail. You are so so loved and appreciated. 💞🌸

[bihanarms]

Here's chapter 2! If you want to read the first one, don't hesitate to go to my blog ;) Feel free to correct me or suggest some ideas, happy reading~

Chapter 2 : Dilemma

Do not be fooled into thinking that las plagas are merely tools for creating powerful bioweapons. Their true value lies in their ability to control.
No matter how hostile the subject, a single
injection can turn anyone into a faithful servant. Who needs spies when you can turn yesterday's enemy into today's ally?

Can you imagine if Saddler had that much control?
Six billion loyal servants at his sole command.
There would be no opposition, no war.

Maybe for the first time in human history,
the world would know peace.

But I know how Saddler and the others have
oppressed the people of this island for
generations. I know how he treats them.
That's no way to live.
And because of that, I won't let it happen. »

A drop of sweat fell on the right side of his notebook.

Luis released his pen with a trembling hand, his pulse abnormally high. All that he had witnessed on this island was too much, and he could not continue to work and support these atrocities without doing anything. Being a mere spectator to all this was destroying him bit by bit, day after day...But where to start?

He had already figured out a way to remove the parasite from a body until a certain stage, but most of the inhabitants of his former village and this island were at an advanced stage, and nothing was possible at this level of infection, except... execution.

The best thing to do was unfortunately to get out of this place while he still could, safe and sound, to save his skin.

"I'm going to blow myself up," Luis sighed with a completely overwhelmed voice, his arms hanging on both sides of his desk chair. He took a deep breath before raising his head and trying to regain his composure.

You’ve got a new notification, the sound came from his computer.

He hastily slid on his chair to reach his keyboard.

There was actually a solution...This woman named Ada Wong had just replied to his email. She came from an organization whose name he vaguely remembered and offered to get him out of this island safely, in exchange he gave her the sample called the amber he had recovered.

But could he trust her? In any case, there were few options...

Count on me, I'll bring you the amber, but you'll get me out of here, right? Ah, and if you could take a pack of cigarettes on the way... any brand will do.

With his right hand on his lighter and his left hand on the end of his lips holding his last cigarette, a cloud of smoke emanated from his mouth...

Who to trust?

His eyes suddenly opened wide, and a snap of his fingers resonated in his brain. What about (y/n)? How could he forget about her? Months had passed since then, months spent in her presence, learning more about her, personality, tastes, etc... Even though the mystery surrounding her face had still not been solved, he had become attached to her in a unique way. And as he had felt it from the beginning, she was much more than a mere woman his ego dictated he should conquer.

They trusted each other, or... was it really the case?

Luis replayed the scenes in his head, but he had never heard her express her opinion on what was happening on this island. He had tried to fish for her opinion on Saddler several times, but she had never been receptive to it, no negative or positive answer. Her response was limited to "these are things that do not concern me, Luis. My job here is to protect people like you and your work."

The poor researcher had such a tormented mind, a real headache settling in his head. He really didn't know who to believe...

Knock knock knock

His heart skipped a beat.

"Just a minute! Just a minute!"

He rushed to his notes, hiding them in drawers, closing all the tabs on his computer, and hurried to open the door.

"(y/n)?"

"What? No nickname today? You seem stressed. Something's bothering you," (y/n) said gravely.

Her tone was drier than usual. Something was wrong.

"Everything's fine, cariña. What brings you here?" Luis forced a smile.

(y/n) briefly scanned the room before turning her attention back to Luis. "Hope you are ready for big trouble. You have two hours to meet me at this location. And if I don’t see you here exactly in time, I'll come back to drag you out. »

Normally, Luis would find her authoritarian attitude a bit thrilling, but all he felt now was fear. Was Saddler ordering (y/n) to eliminate him because he suspected his betrayal? Would she take care of him in the village? After all, (y/n) used to work for Saddler before becoming his friend, from what he knew.

"See you in two hours then," Luis replied, trying to appear calm, even though he was anything but.

He closed the door and slumped against it. In any case, the place that the charming military woman had indicated was right next to where he was supposed to meet Ada.

Why not see what was waiting for him there?

hope you liked it !! chapter 3 will be out soon, be ready~ and dont worry romance’s coming back in the next chapter :p

[tears0fsatan]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⊹ ༺ COMMISSION ♱ ANNOUNCEMENT ༻ ⊹

thank you for the past year and a half. i can't say it enough. turning this blog into what it is today has changed my life in a myriad of ways that i am forever grateful for. its made me realise that maybe my silly ramblings are worth writing and that there are folks out there that actually like the string of words my brain puts together.

as a gift from me to you, in honour of my (late) year anniversary and 700 followers, i've decided to open my commissions. at the moment, i can only guarantee a total of 10 slots before my brain starts to turn on itself. if this goes well, i'll consider opening comms again in the future and increase the slot amount :)

once again, thank you so so much for continuing to support me throughout this past year, it's been a joy to share my work with you lovely people. the love i get on every one of my writings is one thing that keeps me going and motivates me to continue.

ᓚᘏᗢ . . more info under the cut !

status - open !

‧₊˚ ✩ SLOTS AVAILABLE : [10/10]

— PRICES

500 words : $3 / IDR 44K / AUD 4.50

1500 words : $5 / IDR 73K / AUD 7.40

2000 words : $8 / IDR 117.5K / AUD 12

2500 words : $10 / IDR 147K / AUD 15

anything longer is negotiable though i don't go over 4k

if i exceed the word limit, i won't charge extra (think of it as extra love from me ^_^)

if you cancel while i'm halfway done, there will be no refunds.

i do not offer revisions after i'm done writing a piece and if you would like to make changes, please message me at most up to a week after our initial conversation.

i can only accept payment through ko-fi unless you prefer directly sending the money through paypal.

i will only start working on your commission after i've recieved the payment.

please check out the carrd before filling out the google form.

— FANDOMS

you can see the main characters i'm open to writing for on my rulez page ⎯ it also includes the things i am not okay with writing.

★ ₊˚ additional medias i'm comfortable writing for include;

omniscient reader's viewpoint

trash of the count’s family (platonic & familial)

honkai: star rail

good omens

★ ₊˚ under no circumstance do i write about minors unless it is for a familial commission of; obey me, omniscient reader’s viewpoint, trash of the count’s family, or honkai: star rail, nor will i age up any characters for nsfw content. if that is what you are looking for, my service is not for you.

— RULES

i only write x readers and character x character(s). poly ships are okay as long as they aren't incest or pedofilic.

hard nos are listed out in my rulez page but i would like to emphasise that i do not write pregnancy, this includes creampies and breeding.

either no or specific descriptions of appearance (up to you). i will need details on your appearance and your personality, everything that you feel is necessary for your piece.

your commission doesn’t have to be canon compliant and can be an au or canon divergence. continuations of works that i've posted are also okay.

if there are works that you would like me to reference or base my piece on, don’t feel shy to send them to me.

works will be shared as a pdf through email or discord. if you would like it shared as a different medium through different means, do inform me in our initial conversation.

while i am open to accepting sfw commissions for those 17 and under (hopefully no one is younger than 16 ㅠㅠ), i won't take any nsfw commissions. this is not negotiable. i don’t feel comfortable with doing so and it is illegal for me to sell sexually explicit content to minors.

for nsfw commissions : please specify what anatomy (either afab or amab) or simply put 'gender neutral / gn' if you'd like me to keep it vague, as well as the dynamics between the characters. you must provide a picture of id along with your url / name written on a piece of paper beside it. as long as i can see your date of birth, everything else can be blurred out.

₊˚✧ if you are interested or have any questions, my dms here, and discord are open at all times. however due to timezones, i can't guarantee i'll answer immediately but i will get back to you as soon as i can.

feel free to check out the carrd & kofi i've created, it's highly appreciated <3

please please please don't feel like you have to buy me a coffee or ask for a comm to show your support!!! a reblog (on this post or any of my works really) and likes already make me feel luvedddd <33333

i would also like to reiterate that it is illegal for me to sell and distribute explicit content to minors and if you are underage you may not commission a nsfw piece ^^

that's all for now, if i get commissions i'll def prioritise those but i'll do my best to occasionally pump out a thirst or a drabble here and there ^^; (might even finish off the joongdok fic i have hidden in my docs on ao3..)

thank you for the amazing support over the past year,

一 juno /ᐠ - ˕ -マ

[hetalia-club]

Another rant about my ex hopefully the last one ever as I decided in some self reflecting to distance myself from him entirely, hopefully not even acquaintances.

I need to vent to someone, the problem is I don't have anyone I'm comfortable enough IRL to share all this with without them giving me those sad eyes and a 'there there'. So I'm using my blog. You don't have to read this. feel free to scroll on by. If you don't get triggered easily I would like if you did, you don't have to give me feed back or advice, I'm not looking for that. I'm mostly wanting to get what he did to me in the open so I can hopefully move on with my life. Throwing it into the void of the internet is better than writing it into a book and locking it in a drawer forever. People have to know how terrible he was to me. He shouldn't get off scot-free and have happiness while I still suffer. I tried to keep this as vague as possible and I'm not going to go into deep detail of all my abuse because a lot of it I still don't want to face for myself. Tw for abuse of all kinds. If you read this and at any point think "Hey that sounds kind of like my relationship." This is your wake up call to run far far away and not look back.

I Would just like to put it out there that I am NOT still in love with my ex. I hate that mother fucker. I hate that I probably gave him a confidence boost by trying to get back together. He does not deserve that. He deserves to be as miserable as he made me for 5 years. I genuinely believe he is objectively a terrible person. I know him very well and he is a very manipulative person. I don't think he truly cares about anyone but himself. I think the only reason he wants a GF is for someone to take care of his house chores and 'other' needs. That's it. He does not enjoy being in relationships. He does not like having serious conversations and he is mean as hell when you try and make him do something he does not want to do...which is anything. And he also won't tell you he didn't want to do it until after he did it and then he'll make your life miserable all week.

Was I just 'jealous' that he moved on? No, I don't think that's even correct really. I Truly think I'm petty and I don't want him to be happy. I want him to stay alone and miserable because that's all he deserves really. He mentally abused me for actual years why should he get to have a new girlfriend? He doesn't deserve one. He also STILL has not told me he's seeing anyone which I find INSANE because he texts me all the time. I normally reply lately I've been ignoring him. I know now that I mentioned getting back together he thinks I 'want him' and he gets off on the idea that I'm 'waiting around for him'. Well truly it couldn't be further from the truth. I think I hate him. I hate how he treated me, I hate how he moved on and I hate how he refuses to tell me, I hate his stupid Jeep Truck, I hate his temper, I hate his stupid uggo face, I hate his body, I hate his mustache he never trims no matter how many times I asked, I hate how he would bully me into crying and then once I started crying he would tell me I was over reacting and try and frame it like I were the crazy one and I would believe that I was. You don't have to beat someone to abuse them....Right? No he wouldn't do that...he loves me, he says so all the time so he must mean it, right? Some men are more upfront about their abuse, others hide it in crafty little ways eating away at you until you believe you are the problem. It MUST be you right? He keeps saying so. I mean... he's never hit you. He's never threatened you or scared you, he's never hurt you, or has he? Honestly you can't really remember, but it doesn't sound like something he would do. And he said he didn't. You're just over reacting like he says. You're hysterical. You need help. You should get therapy to make his life easier. You should stop bothering him so much with 'relationship problems' that you probably caused. You're such a bad partner. You're lucky he's with you. Who would want to be? You're actually crazy! You're losing your mind. He said jump, now ask him how high. He bought you designer clothes, how could he be abusive? He spent so much money on you! So what if he just wants you to do 'a little something' to pay him back for it later? It's not asking much. Those sunglasses were 600 dollars. It's just thirty minutes of your life it'll be over soon, don't be dramatic. Oh my god! It's not even that big of a deal you're over reacting again. He said he loves you, if you love him you should give him these things he wants, he gives you what you want, right? right?

Just a small story to help you understand the kind of relationship I was in for 5years. One weekend he asks me if I want to go out to eat. I agree. He tells me I can pick the place. I say I want Outback. I was super into Cheese Fries these few months and they have really good ones. He said okay. Didn't say it didn't sound good or maybe we eat someplace else. He said it sounded good and he would pick me up at 7, cool.

He picks me up and we're talking about dumb shit on the way to town we live in the middle of nowhere so it's a 45 minute drive to any decent civilization. Well about half way there I just casually ask him if he called ahead at Outback. This was right after Covid when everything just started to open back up, so places were doing limited seating, so I knew we would have to call or there was no way we would get a table. He said that, "yes" he did in fact call and he told them 8. After he said this our previous conversation just sort of stopped I would say something and he would give me like a one word answer but he was being really quiet. I knew something was up but didn't pry because he doesn't like that.

We get to Outback, go inside and I ask him. "did you give them your name?" as we wait in line at the host booth. He straight ignores me, pretends i didn't say a word. We finally get up there and i look at him and he just stars ahead at noth and I'm like "Um 2 for 8 under *his last name*" The lady was like "Yeah we don't have anything for 2 at eight at all." I look at him and i was like "Didn't you call?" And he was like "Hua? What? No..." And I was like. "Dude you said you called when i asked you in teh car?" and he goes. "You never asked me if i called, if you did i would have told you no." And i was like. "Why are you lying? I'm not stupid you can't tell me i didn't ask you that it was 20 minutes ago my memory isn't that bad. and he goes. "Okay well I didn't call!" In a loud whisper and then I look to teh lady and was like do you have anything? And she was like it's a 2 hour wait.

So I'm pissed obviously, he's pissed for whatever reason. We leave and when we get back in the car I was like. "Why did you lie to me about something so stupid?" And he starts SCREAMING. Telling me "He knew this would happen" That "I'm just mad because I didn't get my way" That I'm "Spoiled" and "I know you're just mad because we can't eat at Outback you always get this way about food!" and you know I was pretty pissed we were no longer eating at Outback seeing how he told me I could pick the place and I told him I wanted cheese fries. But I was mainly pissed that he just lied to me about something so dumb to my face and like I wouldn't find out when we got there. So he's yelling at me and I'm just sort of meekly trying to plead my case while he flies off the handle like a crazy person over something so dumb. And I was like "Just take me home, I don't want to be here anymore." he panics and was like. "I'm not taking you home I drove all this way to eat I'm not wasting money on gas because you're throwing a bitch fit. Pick somewhere else." So I picked Roadhouse, they also have cheese fries, not as good but beggars can't be choosers. I could tell that this choice irritated him. But he begrudgingly called and I could hear the phone conversation because it was just me and him in the car and the guy on the phone said it was only a 45 minute wait. He got of the phone and looked me in teh eyes and lied to me again saying they said "it was a two hour wait there to." I didn't tell him I heard the dude on the phone say only 45 minutes because I didn't know how he would react and honestly. It's been like 30 minutes now of just sitting in the car and him screaming at me so I'm just like "Pick anywhere I don't fucking care I would rather you took me home but just pick someplace. I will eat road kill at this point if we can just stop fighting" He insisted I pick so I was like "Okay Chilies, let's go there no one is ever there." They also have cheese fries, and our Chilies sucks so there truly is no one ever there idk how they are even still open, I believe it may be some sort of Mafia front, that is the only explanation. The parking lot is always empty.

Then he flips it... See this is how you start to see just how he would wear me down mentally until I just gave up. He goes. "Why do you always get to pick the place we eat?" And I was like "You told me to!" And he was like "Only because You'll get mad if I say anything about where we eat, see you're so mad at me now because we can't eat at Outback like you wanted everything is about you. You never ask where I want to eat." And I was like. "OMG WTF are you talking about!?" which was the first time I raised my voice this entire conversation. So he starts punching the steering wheel over and over again. So hard that the car is literally shaking and he broke the volume control button on his steering wheel. I'm just sitting there looking at him like 😒 when he stops there is like five minutes of silence as he just glares ahead of us in the parking lot and he goes. "How about *insert name of our local sushi place*" And I'm like "That's fine, let's just go anywhere." Then. There is a complete 180 on his personality. He's all smiles on the drive there, opening up a conversation about something (can't remember what) and I'm still seething inside because, that was all so stupid and immature. When we get there it's an hour and 1 1/2 wait and he tells the guy "yeah that's fine we'll wait" Like fuck you...we could have stayed at Outback. I still want French fries you bitch you took me to maybe the one place in town I can't order cheese fries, the whole reason we are out tonight, because I told you I was craving cheese fries. He took me to the bar and he was all flirty and he bought me an expensive drink with his typical. "Anything you want baby" Okay sure anything I want except fucking cheese fries, I guess! This is how he would get when he were trying to show off. But it was all just a mask he could take on and off as easily as normal people blink their eyes. I asked him. "So what was that punching the steering wheel all about?" And he was like. "What do you mean?" And I was like. "How you were repeatedly punching the steering wheel, why were you doing that? Was that supposed to be me or what?" Well if you guessed denial and gaslighting you would be right, though it happened less than 2 hours ago. According to him "I never did that. what are you talking about? I mean I put my hand on the steering wheel but I never punched it." So I dropped it. Why argue with someone who is a pathologically liar? We fought a lot because I never knew when he was telling me the truth because he would lie all the time about the dumbest shit, stuff he KNEW I was there for, conversations he denied happening. Ones I could literally prove with text messages and he would tell me, you took that the wrong way.

These are the kind of fights we had CONSTANTLY. (Along with some other bigger ones involving other things) So yes. They did start to feel normal. Being told I didn't know what I was talking about when I knew better was just a weekly occurrence. I always assumed he was lying to me. He eventually succeeded in convincing me I was 'crazy' and I went and got a major increase on my medication, with the promise from him that he would go to therapy for his anger issues, never happened. He all but forced me to go get on the birth control shot because I couldn't take the pill, it makes me violently ill and I have morning sickness while on it and am miserable every day. And the shot absolutely destroyed my hormones and I don't think my body ever recovered from it to this day. Which he assured me he would pay for, and then after the third shot I asked to him why hasn't he paid me back he claims this never happened and he never said he would pay for my birth control and why would he? It's not his birth control (okay crazy was of looking at it, i guess this is only for me then) So I told him I was going to go off of it because it was 300 bucks every month and I had to drive all the way to Fort Wayne to a woman's clinic. He said "No don't go off it I'll pay" he paid for it once, saw how much it was and was like "Fuck that" Also funnily enough the shot made me lose ALL attraction to him. Once it got regulated in my system I and nothing for him anymore, he disgusted me. Everything he said and did gave me the ick. I was in denial for about 2 years and tried to convince myself I did find him attractive and that it would come back eventually, never did. Both of these were medical abuse btw, I am aware of that now.

So as you can imagine as I was not attracted to him anymore I hardly wanted to sleep with him. But he would guilt trip me for it until I would feel bad and just do whatever he wanted. Even going as far as to mess with me in my sleep, I would pretend I didn't know but I did. It always made me so sad that the next morning he would act as though nothing happened, I know he knew I was awake, I am an extremely light sleeper. It's almost like he liked the idea that I didn't say anything to him about it. But he also knew I wouldn't say anything because I don't like confrontation and I knew he would deny it anyway. And this is just straight up SA

The entire idea of a new relationship to me now just feels so...what's the word I want? Tainted maybe? I don't think I believe in romantic love. I don't think he deserves love. I also don't think he's capable of giving love. I don't think he'll ever change, he has told me before. "This is who I am and I'm not changing for you or anybody." he truly believes he is a nice and good person which is the worst part. He thinks he's just fine the way he is. That everyone else is the problem. But the way I see it there is a common denominator. I should have realized when we first got together that his apprehension to tell me about ANY of his past girlfriends was odd. Not even their names. I still don't know who he's all dated or how many people or anything. Even if he insisted I give him my entire sexual history basically on the first month of our relationship. But I ask him who his last GF was and he gets all "You shouldn't be asking me that, the past is the past, don't worry about it" I thought that was weird he didn't even want to tell me names your GF knowing who your most current ex is, is not weird, it's very normal. He never spoke about them, it was like they never existed. But I knew he dated a girl with a kid once. I asked him about it and he pretended to not know who I was talking about, of course surprise surprise. Before we got together I overheard his cousin at a party say that he is a "very sneaky guy and a liar". She didn't say it in a nice way either she said it with a lot of distain like she was speaking from past experience. She was calling him for what he was and I wish I would have absorbed what she had said. I wish I would have asked her "What do you mean?" I wish could go back in time and tell myself not to say yes to a date with him. I should have known that the first time we ever hung out he pressured me to do things even though I pushed him away multiple times and he kept moving his hand back. I should have know he was terrible I should have been able to see it. I hate myself for not seeing it. I would always give him the benefit of the doubt, I would blame myself for not speaking up, not calling him out. But I know it was all him. He had me right where he wanted me, he knew me better than anyone he knew what I wouldn't react to out of social anxiety. I hate myself, but I hate him more for what he's done to the way I look at all men. Oh how I hate them! They all unfairly get blamed for the way he treated me and it's not fair. I hate that I meet a new man and assume he is terrible, a wolf in sheep's clothing. A liar and manipulator. I always wonder, what is he like when he gets mad? What does he think about the word no? I hate it. I've never hated anyone more. The worst part is I can't let him go. He is still in my mind after 7 months he still creeps in and I think about him. I wonder what he's doing, how he's doing. I hate it. And sometimes i miss him. But why? Why do I miss his abuse? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with him? Why do I fantasies about men who would treat me badly after being with him? Why do I feel like I'm not worthy of being treated like a decent human? Why do I only write relationships that are toxic and depressing with abuse and then apologies only for it to happen again? Is it a way of self therapy or is it something I really secretly desire? Why do I think that's what a relationship should be? Why can't I get him out of my head? Why can't I write cutesy romance with 'love' and kisses, why does it always turn into a tragedy? Why does it not feel like a good 'love' story until I've written abuse in some way? with someone hurting teh others what should be beyond repair for them to just forgive and forget? You all want to know like...the worst part honestly? In hindsight he kinda ugly fuckin' tho, fucking tragic. Like he's not even hot. What's the damn point.