#and you want to invite the dude who almost killed them both to the party

[edandstede]

“stizzy” and “edizzy” this “steddyhands polycule” that i’m being violently sick on my shoes actually

[revalition]

OCT 18 - ELECTROCHEMISTRY Go to party planet. Love and be loved by drugs.

.... (looks at calendar) yup definitely october 18th today, don't mind us. this didn't even take that long, I wish I could have done more for one of my fav boys. we were putting off a task we didn't want to do (update resume) which meant getting stuck doing nothing at all for 2 days :)))

tomorrow is full of stuff we dont want to do too so... might fall behind on skilltober a bit. it's ok. but it's almost 2am and we gotta be up at 8 so gonna stop rambling now!!! (much love from the main guy who runs this blog and echem!! we're both here!)

lotssss of stuff under the cut! of my wonderful guy!

fun facts:

- has a swear score of 9/10 (calculated by yours truly) second only to half light

- he damages volition only once and heals volition 10 times! that's also the most healing out of any of the skills

- this impolite guy never once says sorry or please. he does say thank you once (to idiot doom spiral for inviting them to party)

- calls you Harry 3 times, boy 7 times, son once, man 13 times (+ calls volition man twice lol), baby 13 times, darling once, buster once, sir once, chief once, buddy 2 times, brother twice, detective 3 times... he talks to you a lot! I'm sure I'm missing some too

- calls himself your mesolimbic reward pathway, your glands, receptors/GABA-receptors, your pleasure response/centres, your electrochemistry, your parasympathetic nervous system, your moral compass (uhm...), your brain (that's a bit presumptuous) again probably missing some

- the 30 screenshot limit is *evil* >:(

also, electrochemistry's name translates directly to electrochemistry in almost all the languages disco has been translated to (which is interesting on its own, electrochemistry is the study of the chemistry of electrons moving) except the chinese translation -- 食髓知味

I don't speak a word of chinese so forgive me if this is off but google translate directly translates it to "Eat the marrow to know the taste". Apparently it is an expression meaning that once you've had a taste of something (the marrow) you will want to have it again, and is used in a negative way.

it... describes echem's role in the game quite clearly. anyway this seemed way too cool to not share.

onto the quotes!

he's so sassy

true! true! tell him echem!

I love love love this one. echem recognizes joy. kim's joy!!

shhhhhh

volition only trying to rein in electrochem... he's all alone out here haha

so delightful, happy electrochem!!!

no 😭 why is he *like that* sometimes. rhetoric knows he's gonna suggest something stupid before echem even opens his mouth. actual idiot. this is a godly check too! he gets sooo stupid at high levels...

hitting this guy with a rolled up newspaper >:|

pleaseee volition make him stop talking. he's so bad. I know he's just doing what he knows, but he's doing it in a manipulative way

look how stupid he is <3 this is when you make the jump for your coat, while you're falling through the air...

alternate outcome!! this line is actually so sad ☹️ noooo... sweetie your precious friend is still there it's okay you'll be okay

electrochemistry making this horrible situation even worse! pleaseee dude not *THE EXPRESSION* I want to strangle him. volition fighting for his life out here

he wants to be famous <3

I didn't mean to put 3 quotes in a row of authority and echem getting along but here we are. echem just wants to buy stuff he doesn't know any better!

one millisecond before hurling the pétanque ball into the ocean... at least he had fun doing it

he praises you for pouring your alcohol on the ground to honour the people you and kim have killed in the line of duty. okay my dude...

YES shit on the kingdom of conscience! someone has to!

what is wrong with him? (affectionate)

these increasing difficulty electrochemistry checks... thanks for making everyone regret asking man. and regret ever leveling you up that high in the first place...

if you rejected the task to find a drink, echem doesn't want it!

echem turning down the opportunity to use the expression, and it's just cause he isn't interested... dying. dying here.

this is a classic and a favourite. I was like 3 minutes into the game when I got this and was like ohhh... what's with this guy. oh dear.

bad :( don't call him a *lamo* stupid skill. him referring to himself by his own name is funny, I don't think any of the others do that

idiot doom spiral cuts him off here. but electrochemistry is the only skill that talks about the basal ganglia (Ancient Reptilian Brain). After some research it looks like the mesolimbic pathway and basal ganglia are closely related, and certain structures are even shared between them. Which might explain why electrochemistry is more in tune with ancient reptilian brain than the other skills. There's actually a really similar thing with perception (smell) talking to limbic system, and the olfactory system and limbic system share pathways in the brain. fascinating. which then raises the question of if pre-martinaise harry knew these things -- knows what a mesolimbic pathway is, and an olfactory system and a basal ganglia, and then named them accordingly? or if it was something else...?

(hopefully this is right, I'm a programmer not a neuroscientist. if someone who actually knows about brains knows more please say something lol)

anyway. onto other quotes.

look at them, look at the idiots <3

he's so sarcastic. look at him, focusing on what really matters! good job buddy

he's gonna kill volition one of these days. also happened in my first playthrough lol, my very high electrochemistry meant I became very fond of volition very fast.

volition... volition beloved, trying to stop you. electrochemistry *lying*. I believe volition about the vow, shush. but also... it is sooo sad that he thinks you guys can't make it without speed :( it's clearly that thought process, that it's better to risk your own health and save as many people as you can, that got things to be as bad as they are... he's got so many issues.

anyway. I've never hit 30 screenshots so fast, yikes. I love this guy so much. I have *so* many thoughts about him... how his role in harry's life would change after being sober and clean for a while... he just wants you to be happy.

[jacely]

Was thinking “hey :) what a fun idea it would be to participate in the Vesuvia Weekly!” so… here i am. + maybe some Fallon lore?

The Arcana Main 6 x Fallon dynamics

Asra: Such pure best friends it’s insane. They are one and the same, sharing clothes, a bed, food, friends. Fallons family has even pretty much adopted them into the family. it’s not unoften to hear them switch between calling eachother “friend” and “sibling/sister”. Asra = worlds best wingman, as well. they just have a very simple, chill friendship. If they are in the same room together then they are probably cuddling or having a deep talk about the Arcana. “Damn… you really stole my bitch.” -Asra, probably, to Nadia. they bond over how much they don’t like Lucio and how much they love Nadia. Definitely eachothers pillar. They know eachothers brain like it’s their own.

Nadia: Incredibly compatible (as well as in love). there’s a strong understanding between the two of them when it comes to status and the work that comes with it. they experience a lot of the same insecurities and problems. competitivity, constant striving to be better, dealing with royalty, building a city/country back from ruins. Fallon knows exactly when to offer help, to give her space, or when to pull her away from her work to give her a break when it’s needed. they both struggle with trust issues and seemingly the weight of the entire world on their shoulders, Nadia admires Fallons optimism through it and Fallon cherishes Nadia’s clear mind and problem solving. There is the fear of falling back into a coma for Nadia while Fallon has the fear that death will randomly decide it wants her soul back, leading them to many late night talks and rationalizing of their fears and comfort. there’s just a perfect balance of give and take in this relationship, one always willing to pick up where the other is falling behind. The relationship is well-communicated, comfortable, and supporting. it’s rare for people of their backgrounds to find someone that fully understands them, but fortunately for them, they��ve struck gold. Even if they didn’t work out as lovers (which… they definitely DO end up working out) they would still be the best of friends.

Julian: drinking buddies. Julian suffered through Fallons original disliking of him… he BROKE into her SHOP. Who is going to pay for the damages ?!?! but they ended up getting close during the whole devil fiasco. if Julian is up on a table dancing and singing… Fallon is probably on the next table doing the same thing (but better singing). anytime they go out they almost always end up sprawled on the palace steps, eventually discovered by a bemused countess. Julian genuinely does get better when it comes to his

‘self-sacrifice problems’, thanks to Fallon and very stern Portia and Nadia. He’s such a fun and great dude! they do need a lot of breaks from each other, though. they both have their own struggles, and are definitely not the type of friendship where they talk to eachother abt them. invite eachother out for parties or sleepovers with the friends, but unlikely to go to eachother when it’s a rough mental health night.

Muriel: complicated. they both struggle with the trauma associated to killing and harming others, but they deal with it in such different ways that it ends up being a rift instead. Fallon enjoys Muriel, he reminds her of her brother (height AND broodiness), she wants to sit and gently bring him out of his shell! She has the knowledge of how to deal with such introverted people (her line of past work often required it), and is confused when Muriel still seems to shut her out, she keeps trying nonetheless, excited at the prospect of a budding friendship with him. Muriel, however… dislikes her. The way she rationalizes her past of killing with “i did what i had to do” so easily bothers him. her openness about it compared to his silence leaves just the slightest resentment for eachother. Fallon knows that trauma does terrible things to people but still struggles understanding why he can’t understand that he also just did what he had to do. Muriel feels like Fallon is too nonchalant about taking life. It takes him coming terms with his own past in order to start letting Fallon in. so… Dislike to dislike to… friendly Acquaintance…? Fallon is oblivious to the fact that he dislikes her, which leaves a lot of room for her to be excited about seeing him and him being like “:( not again”.

Portia: By proximity they are friends. they are both very close to Nadia which makes them kinda have to be close to eachother. Of course, they are both fun, relatively friendly women, so it’s not a problem in the slightest. they are both a little Hot-headed, overprotective of the countess, and optimistic. they’re actually pretty compatible friends. Fallon does feel like Portia is perhaps maybe too much of a crybaby, she was raised around soldiers… crying was for mourning, or much more serious matters. What was the point in crying over a dropped cake? These opinions are never spoken outloud, fallon is aware that her outlook is askew, and instead hugs Portia and supports her through her tears anyways. Once again, Fallon finds a wingman in a friend. A eyebrow wiggle or a wink is commonplace between them. Fallon needs help getting a date night planned without Nadia knowing? Portia’s got her back. Portia finds that young man at the ball attractive? Pffft, Fallons gonna make sure they dance together when the music starts. Portia is genuinely starstruck by Fallon. She is such an open book, even if not all the content is pretty, it makes Portia feel bad about her secrecy and makes her want to exhibit that courage more often. …To say Portia didn’t have a little crush on her at first would be a lie.

Lucio: hell. flames. anger. hatred. Honestly, if lucio wasn’t such a crybaby bitch then they would probably be friends. HOWEVER. he IS a crybaby bitch and sucks ass, in Fallons opinion. He has caused too many problems for the people she loves for her to even slightly like him. If he were to show up at Vesuvia ever again he is getting dropkicked into outer space. Lucio feels an abundance of jealousy towards my hot-headed little magician, she took his spot !!! his wife !!! his dogs !!! this little rat took his whole life, he hates her as much as she hates him. they are soulmates but for haters.

[mediumstrength]

SPY X FAMILY REREAD CHAPTER 2

We open with Franky’s new look

Franky is right Loid 100% could have done better

It’s the office bitches!

Some weird creep broke into City Hall, who could have done such a thing??

It’s her! It’s her! My girl Yor!!

Yor is so weird at this point in the story, she is just kind of …dead eyed and spacey? I sometimes get annoyed at how often we revisit the “Yor wants to learn to be normal” plot line, but it seems like she had given up on ever having a normal life here. She’s not even trying to interact with her coworkers, she’s barely paying attention to the conversation. She’s just sort of there.

Anyhow, the office bitches are being mean to Yor because that’s what they do, and we are introduced to the concept that Ostania is a scary police state, which will somehow have almost no effect on the daily lives of our characters, but that’s a rant for a different chapter.

CLASSIC TEEN MOVIE PLOT

The popular girls have invited her to a cool kid party just to be mean.

Yor’s empty apartment makes me so sad.

Yuri wants her to get married here?? I'm gonna chalk this one up to Yuri's character not being entirely nailed down yet, but also I imagine that Yuri likes the idea of Yor being happily married, but not her actually being married, which is scary and a threat to their perfect brother/sister bond.

Also who is Yuri going to introduce her to? Scary scar guy? He has no friends.

I sometimes see people being like how has Yor never had a relationship before. The answer is Yuri. It’s Yuri. Yuri is only 20, he was probably living with her until pretty recently. How on earth are you gonna date with Yuri in your house?

The phone rings again, this time it is for a very different reason.

"Shopkeeper" is so ominous-sounding, I love it

Fuck ‘em up, girl.

People kind of talk about Yor and Thorn Princess like they are two seperate personalties almost, but honestly? That stilted politeness? That's all Yor. I really doubt "May I have the honor of taking your life?" is a line that is, like, Garden protocol.

The main difference is how collected she is as Thorn Princess, which like, this is the thing that she's good at. Everything else in life she second-guesses, she thinks she can't handle, but killing? That's nothing. She can kill like 20 armed dudes without breaking a sweat.

The weird creep was Franky!

Should Loid be telling Franky so many details about his mission? I feel like he shouldn't be. They have an interesting relationship. They are not quite friends (I'm not sure Loid is capable of making friends?? currently??) but it's closer than simply being a spy and his go-to informant. I think Endo said something like "they have an understanding" about them, and I like that. They are two people who can't really afford to have friends, but are as close as they can get without complicating things.

Franky points out that Anya does not look the part of a privileged kid expected to attend an elite school, and so off we go to the tailor's.

Not if you're a good girl. Also, activist seamstress backstory when??

Yor comes in and honestly? This is borderline love at first sight on Loid's part. This girl is as stealthy as she is beautiful! She caught him staring at her! Even though he is professionally sneaky! Anya immediately shows up, leans that this lady talking to her Papa is an assassin and decides that she shall be the mama.

I love that both of Anya's parents were selected by her. Anya adopted her parents, not the other way around. You can choose your family provided that you are a quick-thinking and adorable little telepath

They come to an agreement. Loid was divorced a few minutes ago, but he is now a widower, a real tearjerker of a backstory. Yor is moved, and they agree to meet on Saturday for the party.

But wait!

CLASSIC SITCOM PLOT

His mission is also on Saturday!

He has again involved Franky, who is more of a lover than a fighter, but is psyched about the possibility of stealing some shit. I love you Franky.

This panel is so funny.

Poor Yor concludes that she has been stood up, but continues on to the party solo. The office bitches are predictably mean about it.

It's Dominic! Dominic is one of those people who tell you their dog is a rescue and really sweet once they just need to get used to you, and meanwhile said dog is shredding all your furniture and is lunging at your grandma, except it's his girlfriend not his dog.

Yor :(

But Loid finally shows up and, whoopsie daisy, he screws up and introduces himself as Yor’s husband.

The first time I read this I was assuming his little fuckup here was one purpose, but upon reread, no this bitch has a concussion. Anyhow, despite the fact that he showed up like an hour late bleeding from the fucking head, Loid still oozes charm, and Camilla straight-up loses it.

I had actually forgotten how just intensely fucking cruel she is at the party??? Like, the office bitches have really grown on me, and particularly Camilla post-cooking lessons, but here? Girl this is some middle school bully shit right here. You are an adult woman hosting a semi-formal dinner party?? Your coworkers are here?? You look completely unhinged right now.

UNDERSTANDING AND BEING UNDERSTOOD

Loid’s speech here is the moment. Yor, who is weird, and lives alone in a sad little apartment, and hides her terrible secret, has never had anyone who understood her and accepted her as is. Loid defends her and tells everyone that she is a wonderful person. Yor is 100% in love with Loid from this moment.

It’s important that we see this shot of Loid working his own dangerous, thankless job too. It would be easy to say he's just playing the role of Loid Forger here, but he really is speaking from the heart. Yor is like him. She has sacrificed herself for others, like him. Neither of them can begin to understand how alike they are at this point, but still? There's a little something between them. A little bit of understanding.

We have arrived at the Big Theme. Understanding = Love = Peace.

Little lost-in-translation thing here, Loid calls her “Yor” at the party, but she’s “Yor-san” as soon as they’re alone. Loid and Yor always keep a polite verbal distance between them.

Anyhow I have surprisingly little to say about the fight scene and subsequent proposal besides the fact that it is completely flawless. Concussive therapy is such a good joke, both of them are being so incredibly suspicious, but they have already both developed Love-Adjecent Stupidity Disorder and will never critically examine any of this ever.

Flawless

5/5

No notes, amazing chapter

I’m gonna keep doing these sporadically, probably won’t do every chapter, definitely will get bored before I catch up to where the manga is currently 🤷‍♀️

[talos1111]

Right, well I’m moving here, at least for a bit, time to yell into the void. Here’s a rant/info-dump about D&D and my apparent naming convention. TL;DR at the end if you just want the punny names without the backstory.

Friend of mine invited me to a dnd campaign, my first ever. I’ve seen/listened to some podcasts and shows, plus played BG3, so I get the gist of how the game works (but also knew to temper expectations, not expecting Matt Mercer performances while I can’t even do voices). While I’ve found I’m kinda bad at roleplay (can’t do voices as I just said, and I feel like my characters’ personalities just end up being me without much extra flavor) and therefore am bad at making joke characters, I’ve found my calling by giving every character a punny name.

So my first character was a dragonborn sorcerer. He was a silver/bronze, primarily silver with bronze accents. The silver is almost white, and he got the name Albion. Swap the o and n and you get the idea. (He never got a proper last name, I just never bothered to give him one. in universe he was a bastard child so ehhh maybe that somehow ties in? He’s prob not coming back to the party)

He got swapped out for my current character, an Aarakocra artificer, because A: our warforged needed a healer (potions don’t work on him), and the party needed an off-healer before the cleric joined, B: the party was more chaotic than it made sense for “relatively chill merchant who’s greatest crime was smuggling and tax evasion” (our Dwarf fighter burned down the orphanage that had their son, who was taken from them due to mental instability after their spouse died, and killed a few dozen people including their son. Their reaction in the backstory is “oops”). ANYWAY BACK ON TOPIC: his whole deal is he’s an escaped slave, where he was originally sent into these places called the Burned Lands, sites of probably an ancient war with magical radiation. This is partially an excuse to just give the guy horns because they look cool as shit. Anyway his wings were… “removed” by his captors to prevent escape. At some point as a child, he got injured in an explosion, losing his arm and eye. However, being pretty resourceful by now (and lucky enough to find some Forerunner equipment, the people who probably did the war), replaced both. So now he’s got a robot arm, arcana eyepatch, and at some point he fashioned a glider pack that might eventually upgrade to a jet pack (originally I basically just didn’t want a ranged character with flight because I know that can break some fights and didn’t want to make my dm focus on that, plus extra angst, but kept the wings in the form of a constant slow-fall). Now he’s basically (supposed to be, if I could roleplay better) a sorta Adeptus Mechanicus type, believing in the strength and certainty of steel.

His name is Errk Gearwing. His last name came to me a while after the first, and I’m canonizing that after escaping he found work and when needing a last name, the dwarf doing paperwork came up with it on the spot.

I have a backup character, another Dragonborn, this one a Paladin. I don’t have much backstory for him yet, haven’t even run him by my DM. Basically, he’s gonna be a H U G E dude, with a STR of *19* (I got some stupid good rolls), but a dex of 8. Think im gonna roll with he’s also got prosthetic arms, but while Errk is both surprisingly practiced in medicine and machinery, this guy’s arms are a lot less precise.

His name is Auris. Again, color theme: gold Dragonborn.

TL;DR: so far my DND characters are

1: a white Dragonborn named Albion (Albino rearranged),

2: a bird artificer that replaced his wings with sci-fi fantasy tech with the last name Gearwing,

3: a gold Dragonborn with the name Auris (Au, Aurum, Latin for gold).

[cigtray]

GOODNIGHT, GOODMORNING

Pairing: JJ x Reader

In which: JJ and the reader get caught cuddling, and the reader isn’t any kind of morning person, and JJ doesn’t mind.

Category: FLUFF

Warnings: Cursing

John B always knew JJ loved the girls, (y/n) and Kie. He knew JJ would do anything to make sure they were safe, he didn’t doubt JJ would go so far as to put his own life on the line for those two.

What John B didn’t expect? Was for JJ to willingly give either of them intimacy. Maybe this was because John B was always the one to let JJ crash at his place when more mysterious bruises appeared. Maybe this was because John B noticed how JJ repeatedly shrugged away hugs and warm touches. Maybe it was because John B had never seen JJ willingly accept acts of intimacy or seen him willingly give them out.

Or maybe John B just didn’t know, but what he did know was that tracking down JJ after a night of partying was his responsibility. At least today, when Pope wasn’t there to be worried over all their idiocy.

Another thing John B knew? JJ had a particular fondness for the hammocks when he was all fucked up. Now, John B had found JJ in a lot of unpromising situations, some including girls and some not. Had he seen some things he would’ve preferred not to? Most definitely, it was almost unavoidable when it came to the scavenger hunt of locating JJ.

However, on this somewhat overcast morning of 11am, quite early for these pogues after their long night, finding JJ was no hassle. John B could see his leg poking out of the hammock from the chateau. The question though, was who the hell was in there with JJ?

JJ wasn’t one to let somebody stick around, especially sleep with him. So, when John B cautiously approached and peaked in he could say he was surprised, a little bit. There nestled into JJs side was (y/n). Her cheek was pressed against JJs chest and his shirt was slung over the both of them.

John B could say that JJ looked about as relaxed as he had ever seen half sober JJ. Not very slowly, and not very gracefully, John B gave the hammock a push, ready to greet the two not so well rested pogues.

“JB what in the literal fuck do you think you’re doing?! I will fucking kill you dude, I-“ (y/n) had only half pushed herself up from where she had been lying when her speech finally went to sleepy mumbling before she decided that JJs warm chest was much more inviting than cursing John B out.

John B chuckled before bringing his eyes to the blue eyes of JJ which were peering at John B. “Goodmorning dude” John B said, sending JJ a gleaming smile. “Go away JB” a small mumble could be heard from the half asleep (y/n). John B watched as JJ smiled while glancing down at the girl pressed against him. When JJ returned his gaze to the waiting pogue he simply lifting his arm and made a motion that told John B to get the hell outta there, though this lasted for maybe three seconds before (y/n)’s arm shot out and grabbed JJs to bring his arm to her waist whilst she snuggled into him.

JJ snickered a little at the movement before looking to John B and going “you heard her right? Go away John B, come again another day” JJ sang quietly. “Whatever lover boy” John B said as he turned around “was just gunna ask if you wanted breakfast!” John B called over his shoulder, he could hear JJ lightly thrash in the hammock.

“John B!” JJ whisper yelled, John B smirked while continuing to walk away “John B!” John B stopped but didn’t turn “what’s breakfast John B?!” “Just pancakes, dude.” “Fuuuucckkkk”

John B laughed as he watched from the window as JJ stopped trying to get away for the sake of pancakes after ten minutes and instead slept another hour with (y/n) in the hammock.

[astrid19202]

Hi Everyone! Sorry I haven’t updated in a little while but I hope this makes up for it, it’s a tad long but I figured a slight story to it would be nice? I hope so.

Luke Hemmings was an enigma.

A beautiful and daunting enigma that made your thighs push together and head dizzy.

Your heart beating faster with every look of his pretty blue eyes. 

Every time you tried to avoid him, both his presence and the mere thought in your mind, he would creep through the shadows and wrap you up in his darkness. 

Though deep down, you didn’t care. In fact, you absolutely adored it, adored him. You loved him.

And interestingly enough, he felt the same way. He was utterly and completely in love with you even though it took both his stupid ego and broken pieces to stitch together the truth.

The innocence and power you held over him was almost pathetic, but he could care less anymore. 

But unfortunately for him, he’d fucked up.

After harsh words that sliced through your heart from the last encounter you two had, that being 9 months ago, he’d stupidly let you walk out the door.

Now, all he felt was regret and anger as he held the wedding invitation he stole from your friends mailbox between his fingers.

The title reading, “Your invited to Y/N and Mark’s wedding!” In curvy scripture, both your signatures at the bottom alongside the date and time.

Throwing the invitation to the ground and pulling out his gun, he shot bullets through it until he couldn’t see it anymore and only small white ripped pieces of paper were left. 

Upon hearing the gun shots, Michael, Calum and Ashton bursted through his office door, guns in their hands and ready for action. Fully prepared for another casual shoot out with another gang attempting to kill their boss. It was like nothing to them at this point.

However, instead of seeing dead bodies piled around Luke’s office and their leader ready to be killed by Luke before they could question him further, they found him standing there furious and alone.

“Dude what the fuck we thought something was wrong”

“Yea what are you shooting at?”

“God I hope you didn’t kill anyone downstairs”-

“Shut the fuck up!” He shouted while putting his gun back in its hostler and ran his fingers through his golden hair.

“We have a new mission this weekend boys” He spoke as he wrote down the location he memorized and handed it to Calum.

“Thirteenth chapel in San Fransisco?” He read off.

“What’s in San Francisco?” Michael looked up.

Folding his arms together as he walked towards the balcony overlooking Los Angeles, the bright scenery in no comparison to the burning in his heart as he spoke out, “Y/N”.

Shocked overtook their faces when hearing your name, but before they could interject Luke turned towards them, a smirk now overlaying his features as he took his lip ring between his teeth.

“Get your ties and suits together boys, we have a wedding to crash”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Truth be told, and as bad as it sounded, you didn’t want to marry Mark.

After 3 months of wallowing in misery from what happened between you and Luke, your mothers friend Betty introduced you to her son Mark and he became became the new man in your life. Though unbeknownst to you, he wasn’t a good person and cheated on you multiple times than could be counted.

However, through his sickeningly sweet persona and fake attitude, it appeared that he was someone who led you out the rain clouds Luke had left you in. 

But you didn’t love him, and everything was happening so fast.

His and your mother threw a party one day, after you and Mark had been seeing each other for 6 months. It turned out to be an engagement party, even though no proposal had been made. Between all the congratulations and smiling faces, you didn’t say no.

They began the talk of what your future would hold; stability. Something Luke never mentioned to give you, despite him thinking of it 24/7, a future with the two of you in it. Even a baby, that he pictured would have your hair and maybe his eyes. A big house, and only love following along until death did you part. But he was scared, and didn’t tell you sooner. 

Now at the church, looking in the full length mirror, your gown hugged your curves and the white color contrasted your skin perfectly. This was suppose to be a happy occasion, but inside you felt nothing. Nothing but numbness.

“I knew you’d look beautiful sweetheart but god damn” 

The familiar husky voice of none other than Luke Hemmings filled the small room sending a shiver down your spine.

Taking a deep breathe to hold your composure, you looked up at him. 

There he was, in all in his glory, really in front of you. Classed in a red suit that contrasted with his black shirt underneath that was unbuttoned, showing a thick chain around his neck. His nails were painted red to match, silver thick rings wrapped around his fingers.

“What are you doing here?” You questioned quietly as you could since your family and other guest were just outside.

“Honey, did you really think I’d let you get married to someone that isn’t me?” He laughed as he took a step closer to you with each word until your back hit the wall behind you. 

“You can’t do this to me, not now. Don’t you remember? What you said-“

Grasping your jaw in his hand making you stop speaking, your chin lifted as he made you look him in the eyes. He wanted you to see the sincerity and not just hear it.

“Please just forget about what I said, I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong baby, and all these months all I could think about was you. I’m so sorry. I hurt you, I know I did. I was a coward and an idiot for letting you walk away but fuck I am not letting you go. Not like this, your mine. I love you so much angel” He thumb rubbed at your bottom lip, the soft pink flesh bouncing back as he let it go and looked at your delicate face. “Just let me live the rest of my life loving you and I promise I’ll give you everything that you need” 

Tears pooled in your eyes. He was telling the truth, if there was one thing he never was to you was a liar. 

Nodding your head, he sighed and pressed his mouth to yours kissing you. 

Before you knew it his tongue pushed past your lips as his large hands grasped your waist and guided you closer to the wall.

You moaned into his mouth and wandered your fingers up into his hair gripping it.

“Looking so pretty in this gown baby, gonna marry you in it instead of that bastard” He dipped his head down and kissed at your neck, leaving soft bruises into your skin.

“L-Luke” You whimpered as he pushed the straps of your dress off your shoulders and it pooled underneath your chest, letting your breasts free out the confines.

“Who’d he think he was huh?” He grunted as he grasped your tits and sucked at your right nipple, lapping the bud with his tongue and watching your head tilt back as he smirked. 

“Trying to marry my girl, I’ll show everybody who’s girl you are right now” He pressed as one of his hands pushed underneath your skirt and into your panties. His mouthed continued to suck at your breasts, moving back and forth between each nub and sucking harder each time. 

His thumb went into your pussy, gathering the wetness that began to pool when he kissed you the first time. Then he pulled it out before you could complain and rubbed at your swollen clit harshly.

You bit your bottom lip to hold in any noise, but Luke had other plans as he leaned up and kissed you, pulling your lip out from between your teeth. 

Looking down at you with lustful blue eyes, he said “Don’t you dare hide your sounds, I wanna hear you”.

“Please don’t tease me” You begged, it’d been so long since you felt this much pleasure and only he could make you feel this way. 

“I won’t, I’m gonna give you everything you need and more” He smirked.

Lifting you up, he sat you down on a nearby table then got down on his knees in front of you.

Taking a knife out his front pocket, he cut right down the middle of your gown making a nice curtain space for his head to slip between your thighs. 

His lips nipped at the inside of your legs, up and up as he grasped them in his hands. Taking the edge of the knife, he guided it along with his mouth, and cut the band of your underwear that settled at your side making it fall down.

Quickly, Luke pushed his face between your thighs and sucked at your clit making you cry out.

Mumbling against your center, he said “hold onto my hair baby” and you did. Grasping his pretty locks in your hands as he drunk at your wetness. 

“Taste so fucking good, your so wet for me too huh? Can’t wait to fuck you” He swore before dipping his tongue in and out of you.

His words made you wetter, thinking about him above you and thrusting in and out. His head tilted back and taking you while everyone waited for you walk down the aisle, but instead you were being fucked down the hallway.

Pulling your thighs apart more he lifted them onto his shoulders to give you stability and moved his hands up as he held your breasts in his hands as he ate you out. 

Your back arched, “O-oh Luke” You whined out.

Luke groaned into your pussy as you said his name, he rubbed at your nipples with his fingers stimulating your orgasm. His cock was aching, it’s been so long since he had you and now that he was he was on cloud nine. Images flashed his mind of the many positions he wanted to get you into, bent over, riding him, face down, anything and everything. He loved making you feel good, especially how beautiful you looked as he did so. 

Grinding your hips into his mouth, you tugged at the ends of his hair as he harshly sucked at your clit one last time before you exploded. 

Whimpers escaped your pouty lips, eyes fluttering shut as your head fell down while you finished.

But before you could gather yourself, you felt Luke’s presence standing above you as he lifted your head up by your chin.

“Ready for me baby?” He kissed your nose with a cocky smile, showing off his straight white teeth.

“Mhmm” You let out as best you could, your previous orgasm still settling beneath you.

Luke hand made home again between your thighs, taking no second more as his pointer and middle finger pushed in and the out of you. Your favorite ring of his brushed your clit just slightly making you moan as you grasped his suit jacket. 

“Words angel, I need you tell me what you want” He smiled watching you fall apart all over again. His other hand wrapped around your throat, providing a slight pressure making you gasp out as he guided you into him. 

“Please fuck me Lu, need your cock so bad” You spread your legs as you looked up at him fully this time. 

“Such a slut for me baby, begging me to fuck you with everyone outside. I love you so much” He kissed you again as he undid his trousers. 

“I love you more” You panted as you both pulled away and started leaving kisses at his jaw and neck, sucking your own marks onto his skin. 

The big bad mafia boss blushed slightly at your words and the way you sweetly kissed him, even when he was about to fuck your brains out. 

Shaking his head, he pulled you to your feet and turned you around making you lean over the table and face the large mirror that displayed in front you both. 

Grasping your hair in one hand, he made you look at him through the reflection and groped at your breasts with his other.

“Watch how pretty you look when I fuck you” He whispered into your ear and lifted your gown from behind you, displaying your ass in front of him.

Biting his lip ring, he slapped your right cheek hard making you moan and raise your ass towards him more. 

“Such” Spank

“A fucking ” Spank

“Good Girl” Spank

His rings left marks on each of your cheeks making both of you flush. 

Before you could beg any further Luke guided his tip to your entrance and shoved his cock into you making you double over slightly into the table. 

His brows furrowed as he bit his lip and titled his head back, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he took your hips in his hands, pelvis hitting against your ass as he fucked you.

“Luke!“ You moaned out, not caring if anyone heard you at this point.

“Yea that’s it, say my name while I fuck this sweet pussy of yours” He moans back feeling your wet walls wrap around him. 

He couldn’t stop himself from gripping your waist harder, guiding you back and forth onto his cock as you took him. 

The table began moving further up the floor from its originally position, closer to the mirror and helping you watch as Luke fucked you from behind. 

Your hair was a mess, purple and pink marks from his mouth adorned your neck, your bridal gown ripped and torn in different places. But despite all that, you never looked better and he  loved it. 

Your moans became louder and higher in pitch, feeling his cock hit your g-spot repeatedly as a strangled cry left your lips. 

Luke pulled out of you completely and slammed back into you, the feeling of you stretching around his cock making him whimper in response and his head hung low watching as he filled your pussy just right.

“Fucking hell baby” He grunted lowly and plunged deeply into you as he spanked your ass again, “God, you feel so fucking good” He said shakily into your neck.

Now pressing into your back he held your tits in his large hands to stable himself now and rutted into your ass harder.

“Just made for my cock aren’t you sweetie? All mine aren’t you?” He purred making you let out small whimpers of “uh, uh, uhs” each time he pushed in and out of you.

“Luke” You said breathlessly feeling his mouth suck onto your neck again while making eye contact with you in the mirror, watching as he surrounded you like a devil from behind.

Feeling how close the both of you were, Luke mercilessly fucked you faster against the table, “Goddamit” He cried tossing his head back alongside you and began rubbing at your clit. 

Your ass bounced against his hips as he spread your thighs more, ramming into your heat roughly. 

“Oh fuck” He groaned feeling you clench tightly around him as you came triggering his own release and filling you up to the hilt. 

Moaning out each others names as you came together, Luke leisurely slowed down his pace until he pulled out. 

A moment passed and now there you both stood, starring at each other in adoration from the aftermath of what just fell between you both. 

Luke’s gathered your face in his hands and kissed your lips for the hundredth time making you giggle.

“Now baby, let’s go find you a new dress” He took your hand and guided you both out the door, seeing the shocked faces of your family and Mark as you left the chapel. 

Michael, Calum and Ashton followed behind and asked a million questions.

But all you could do was stare at the diamond ring Luke replaced on your left hand with one of his own before you both had left. 

[ink-on-the-brink]

Im kinda curious if Engineer's dad invites his sniper friend into his house. Yknow the sniper from the comics. Do you think both of them just hang out with dell when younger? Cause I feel like they'd just either scold Dell instead of care for em.

Most definatly

Okay so this might be giving away a few things for my Dark Nights Come With a Cost book but I've wanted to talk about this for a while so I'm gonna.

Okay so, my Headcannon is that the Conager family is extremely close. Not necessarily in an emotional way, but every family member is made to depend on another so leaving it is near impossible. The family also deals in rather illegal activities, so if one goes down, they all go down.

And since the family is so well knitted together, there's someone for everything. Need a doctor? The family has one. Need a car fixed? Someone owns a shop. Need to kill someone? There's a dude for that. Going outside the family for anything is seen as the ultimate disrespect and can land you in every hot water.

Despite this they all lead somewhat normal looking lives. They meet people, start familys, have parties, all that.

And since they have such diverse jobs, they get away with it. There aren't records of anything because everything they illegally buy, sell and write only goes into the hands of family.

Also, when letting anyone into the family through means if marriage, work connection or very close friends, there is a lengthy process. One is not simply let into the Conager family, you have to earn it.

There's a long test that whoever's being tested usually never knows about. They're searched through every system imaginable, every bit of their history found and scrubbed through. They're put through tests of loyalty and commitment. They fail then they die, simple as that. It makes the family choose carefully who they care about and learn to never love anyone the family might not approve of.

If a partner does pass the test then they are fully integrated and are made aware of the true extent of the family. Anyone that makes it to this point has no way out now, so they either accept it or die. The second option is never revealed as a possibility unless they don't pick the first.

So people such as TFC Sniper and the other TFC members are put through and pass this test.

That isn't to say they're good people, not by a long shot. They just know better than to mess with a Conager.

Raised in this environment, it's never about being a good person. Sure, the matriarchs instill respect and that good old southern charm, but that doesn't make any of them good people.

The life of a young Conager is almost always a cold and uncaring one. Emotional neglect is common and fear is a frequent control tactic. The only comfort one can find is in their own siblings, though even they are likely to turn due to envy or learned coldness. Their worth is based on their work and what they contribute to the family. They aren't loved or cared for, they're molded and shaped into workers.

So they grow cold. Uncaring. They put on masks in view of the public. They feign emotions, feign care. But most went numb a long time ago and the ones that aren't have dealt with more than most people.

It's not a family. It's a machine.

[oumaheroes]

Congrats on 100+ followers, you deserve it! I love your blog and writing! For the writing-promp, how about some outsider pov fruk?

Reflections

Word Count: 1690

Characters: England, France - FrUK, America, Canada

----

‘It’ll be fun!’

‘No, it won’t.’

‘Yes it will,’ America insists, leaning forward to get a better look at the screen. England’s face through the webcam is decidedly unimpressed.

‘I don’t like house parties,’ he says, but America can hear slight resignation already there in his voice and so pushes again to seal the deal.

‘Please? Come on man, it’ll be great. Right after the G20 meeting in Texas too so there’s no work to worry about; just stay one more day for it. And hey, if you don’t like it you can leave.’

England raises an eyebrow, ‘You invited me to stay withyou.’

America shrugs, unbothered, ‘Then don’t! Or, do- whatever. It’s up to you.’

England sighs and looks conflicted. America seizes the opportunity and goes in for the kill, ‘Everyone else will be there too; you don’t wanna get FOMO.’

‘I don’t get FOMO,’ England snaps, looking affronted, and America instantly knows he’s won, ‘But fine, if it means that much to you, I’ll come.’

America tries to school his face into something that doesn’t look too triumphant, ‘Awesome! Kay, so it’ll be casual, no need to dress up or be all fancy or anything.’

‘Yes yes,’ England waves a hand dismissively and shifts in his chair, ‘I know how a house party works. I do go to some, you know.’

‘Cool cool cool, just making sure.’ America can’t really picture England at the sort of house party he is thinking of, people lounging about on furniture and playing silly drinking games. But it must happen, he supposes- he’s seen England drunk in pubs before and he’s boisterous so it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to imagine him in an even more casual setting.

Suddenly, America notes the darkness of England’s surroundings and checks the clock in the bottom corner of his screen, ‘Hey, it’s getting pretty late for you over there, isn’t it? I should let you go.’

England glances at his wrist, entirely ignoring the PC he’s using, ‘Yes, I suppose so. Okay, likely I’ll see you next month then.’

‘No backsies, you said yes,’ America reminds him.

England rolls his eyes, ‘I meant that I won’t see you until then, I already said I was coming; I’ll come.’

‘Good!’ America moves his mouse to end the call, ‘See you there, old man. Try to be fun.’

‘What is that supposed to-‘

‘Bye!’

----

Canada glances about the room and nods, ‘It’s not bad.’

America reels back, ‘Not bad? Dude-‘ he gestures to the living room they’re in the doorway of and then to the pool outside, both places spilling over with nations chatting and enjoying themselves under the beat of the music, ‘-it’s more than not bad!’

It really was, in his humble opinion, probably one of his best in recent years. Nearly everyone had turned up who said they were going to and there had been a steady flow of conversation and dancing all night. America had scoped the place out every now and again, making rounds through the house to make sure there were no stragglers sitting somewhere on their own but there wasn’t a need for it- things had run smoothly without him needing to intervene and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. This is why he liked house parties, more than any other type of ‘function’. House parties had a more relaxed vibe, where no one felt the need to impress or do themselves up too much (unless you were one of the older ones, that is; it seemed that no matter what you told them they’d still arrive a bit more formally dressed than everyone else, as if they had some sort of inbuilt compulsion).

Things going so well was probably helped, too, by the fact that America had only invited friends and family. One, because inviting the entire world and putting them in one place anywhere would always result in some form of argument, but also because this was his house and he didn’t want it to get trashed, (regardless of what England had groused when he first arrived and had seen the condition of the place).

Canada shrugs and takes a sip of his drink, ‘I’ve been to better.’

America frowns, disappointed, before jostling his arm playfully when he notices the small, guilty shift of Canada’s eye, ‘Stop messing with me.’

Canada grins behind his cup and nudges him back, ‘Well, no one’s dead yet. That’s always good.’

‘Amen to that,’ America raises his glass in a toast which Canada meets and downs the rest of his drink, ‘Want a refill?’

‘Sure.’

‘Come on then, I ain’t your servant.’

Canada gives him a flat look but wordlessly follows America out of the living room and through to the kitchen. Australia’s there with Mexico, digging about in the lower cupboards for something and Denmark is showing Japan a video on his phone that’s making Japan’s eyes go almost unnaturally wide.

‘Alfred mate, what happened to those Tim Tams you promised me?’ Australia stands up from his crouch on the floor and looks at America reproachfully, ‘I feel swindled.’

America opens his mouth to speak but Canada cuts in first, ‘I hid them.’

America turns to him in confusion, ‘Why?’

‘Zea asked me to, seeing as they couldn’t come. Something about what you did to them at Christmas?’

Australia throws up his hands and scoffs, ‘Jesus fuck, when will they get over that. Where are did you put them? Come on, don’t be a dick, I promised Mexico some.’

Mexico shrugs delicately, ‘I don’t really care, to be honest. I just heard they were bad and wanted to see how bad.’

Australia looks down at her scandalised, ‘Who told you that?!’

She readjusts to sit properly on the floor, ‘People.’

‘Yeah, sorry, I’ll get them.’ Canada’s job has been carried out to the minimum requirement and America knows that he’s happy that he can now take himself out of the silly argument New Zealand and Australia have slyly pulled him into. He goes out of the kitchen, leaving his empty cup behind, and America follows him curiously through the hallway in the direction of the study.

‘What did Australia do to Zea at Christmas?’ America has missed out on England’s most recent yearly family function; he’d wanted to go surfing with Hawaii instead.

‘Don’t ask,’ Canada says tiredly, the air of an older sibling who had seen far too much. America is offended Canada hasn’t told him already. He opens his mouth to say as much when Canada goes to open the slightly ajar study door before stopping abruptly in the doorway, causing America to almost crash into him.

‘Hey, what-‘ Canada hurriedly squeezes America’s arm and tugs him sharply away in a warning for quiet, catching his eye before glancing into the room meaningfully. America peers around him into the study, wondering what he’s seen.

At first, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to be looking at; it looks empty. The main study light is off, leaving the room lit only by one table lamp by the sofa that casts a warm, buttery glow about the place, softening the corners with shadows. He looks to Canada for help and Canada tilts his head in the direction of the French doors, eyebrows raised.

America follows his gaze and understands. The darkness outside has turned the glass to mirrors, reflecting the front of the old sofa that America could previously only see the back of. On it are England and France, curled up together with France’s head on England’s chest and England propped against the armrest, one knee brought up high for him to rest an elbow on. He has his other hand in France’s hair and is gently running his fingers through it, long languid strokes that feel entirely too intimate for America to process.

It’s a strange thing for him to see. He has accidentally caught England and France doing other things throughout his life but intimacy isn’t really something they display. They argue. They bicker. They fight and scream and laugh, sometimes, but they do not do this in front of other people, this gentleness. Neither of the two are what anyone could ever consider gentle, even France, for all his intentional touches and flirtations -the soft ghost of his hand on a shoulder or resting warm around a waist- are not this, not personal. France is very free with his physical affections but they are shallow things, meaningless and ordinary. There is something removed and detached about how he moves amongst crowds, gathering himself close about someone to brush against them as he stands that speaks of friendliness yes, but not closeness. Nothing special to note.

But here, curled on a sofa and unaware they are being watched, there are no guards up or cold pretences between them, just a natural, domestic openness that America finds oddly normal, for how little he has seen glimpses of it. England and France together are many things, have experienced every extreme and mundane state possible for two people to experience, and this side of them is just another shade, as hard as it is to find.

France tips his head back more and opens his eyes, crinkling their corners as he murmurs something low under the muted music that causes England’s lips to twitch into a rare, open smile. They could be anyone then, just two people on a sofa, young and mellow, and for a split-second America can’t see them as anything else. The warm mood hides their identity and blurs their age- familiar strangers tucked away on their own.

America jumps, startled, when Canada nudges him, an elbow into his side and he turns to find his brother gesturing with his head back into the hallway.

He agrees. America knows both England and France would be mortified to be caught like this, boneless and out of character around the person they often so openly despise, so it’s best to leave them as they are undisturbed.

Australia can wait, America will squeeze the truth out of Canada about Christmas and maybe take Zea’s side just for fun.

----

AN:

Sorry for the wait anon, but I hope you see this and I hope that you like! Thanks for the ask and for your kind words, this was a lovely prompt and I really liked thinking about how I could do this justice ;u;

<3

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Demon Bros Play DND!

Who’s ready for some Stupid Headcanons?

So, the Satanic Panic of the 1980s claimed that the tabletop RPG known as Dungeons and Dragons had the power to turn your children into satanists and devil worshippers. So of course, the brothers have totally played DND after hearing about all the human world nonsense.

Lucifer the Back-up Back-up DM

He’s too busy to play this game dammit, stop inviting him! What do you mean both Satan and Simeon can’t DM the one-shot? Ugh... fine.

Despite all his UUUUUUUUGGGGHHH, Lucifer is a damn good storyteller, prepare to be immersed as hell.

Also, sorry guys, he’s a rule whore. If something’s against the rules, YOU AREN’T DOING IT.

He’s also a complete sadist who will randomly get everyone to roll perception checks for NO REASON.

Lucifer has definitely stood up and slammed his hands on the table while giving a description for extra effect, Mammon screamed and nearly fell out of his seat which REALLY ruined the mood.

“Everyone, we’re rescheduling, I’m too busy.”

He’s been a player a few times, and he’s NOT good at it. All his characters end up being really generic and boring. He’s better at being the world and everything in it, not the dummy wandering around it.

Human/fighter lookin’ motherfucker

In conclusion, he’s a good DM, but he’s probably too busy to play.

Over-Powered Self Insert (Mammon)

This game is for nerds! He’s not playin’, Levi!

Fine, his character is great and amazin’ and is also him. MC! What do these numbers mean-

Mammon’s the type of player to make his character a self insert and not take it too seriously, then get really REALLY attached as the campaign progresses.

He’s the type not to make a backstory for his character either, so go wild DM MCs!

He also both purposefully and accidentally metagames a whole bunch. Like dude, YOU know this, YOUR CHARACTER DOES NOT.

Shit he forgot his dice, can he borrow some?

“Okay MC, that’s five points of piercing damage.” “I RUN OVER AND HEAL THEM! I’LL SAVE YA MC!”

Mammon goes out of his way to save MC’s character long before it would make sense in-character to do so.

“Well, as your first man it’s my duty to save your character! You’ll probably be a blubberin’ mess if I didn’t...”

He’s not the best role player, but he’s also not the worst at it either. He tends to break character when things get too serious and he doesn’t know what to do.

Notes who? He came in here with one sheet of printer paper and it’s for doodling only.

He and Asmodeus start the tavern brawls. No question about that.

Theft is very common, he’s stealing from everyone, including but not limited to: the party, the royal guards, the dead enemies, the giant fuck-you dragon that Satan dropped in there to deter Mammon from stealing...

“I’m gonna steal that crown from the dragon.” “Roll stealth.” “Nat 20 BITCHES.” “Fuck you.”

If his character dies, may the Demon King have mercy on his greedy little soul because he’s going to mope about it for a damn long time.

Over-Powered Self Insert Again (Leviathan)

His character totally isn’t a self insert, shut up! He just looks and acts like an idealized version of himself!

He’s the one with twenty pages of character info and backstory AND the amazing commissioned art.

Levi has about 40 sets of expensive blue dice that he claims gives him the best rolls but an average session with him usually leads to roughly 10 crit fails.

While his luck with dice isn’t that good, he’s the player who will get as much out of their turn as possible, AKA break out the calculators and notes we’re doing some math.

His turn goes on for at least ten minutes because of all the shit he’s doing. When you finally think it’s over he goes “I still have my movement!”

Takes notes like a madman, every bit of lore and character info is being written down, meaning it’s a headache for everyone involved if there’s a continuity error because Levi WILL point it out.

“So you all head to the east, the great Valley of-” “Hang on, valley? In the second session you said there was a mountainous area to the east.” “Levi, shut up.”

Levi is the self appointed “guys come on let’s get back on track!” player, and whoever’s DMing is grateful to have him.

Levi is kind of the opposite of Mammon in terms of character seriousness, at first he’s taking everything super seriously and then as the campaign goes on he slowly loosens up and has some fun.

Out of curiosity one day he searches up a magical girl DND class and he’s ALL OVER IT. PLEASE LET HIM BE A MAGICAL GIRL NEXT CAMPAIGN-

Damn good at roleplaying, he’s carrying the entire in-character discussion until everyone else gets into it.

The Done With Your Bullshit DM (Satan)

So, this is the game that’s supposedly summoning him all the time despite the fact that he hadn’t been up to the human world since the 50s... what the fuck is everyone on up there?

It was the 80s, probably a lot of drugs.

When Satan DMs, you can only break the rules if it enhances the story... or if it fucks with Lucifer’s really boring character.

He will fudge dice rolls every once and a while, he also gets very attached to the characters everyone has made so he doesn’t want to perma-kill any of them unless they roll a DND quadruple natural 1 sin or something.

As attached as he gets, he isn’t above completely raging, killing everyone’s characters, and ending the session if everyone’s being annoying.

Don’t worry, your characters will be safe and sound next session once everything calms down... just don’t mention how Satan burned your character sheet right in front of you. It’s your fault if you didn’t make a second copy of your character sheet!

He’s pretty decent when it comes to improv when a player stumbles into something he didn’t plan out, but that’s not going to stop him from getting a little annoyed.

Though, if you somehow manage to get to the big bad too soon... yeah sorry, he’s got a way more dramatic fight scene planned, your player’s getting conveniently blasted out of there.

As a player, Satan is pretty decent at the game overall, but he tends to be a little aggressive if there’s an overarching mystery to be solved.

He needs to understand what’s going on! He doesn’t care if it upends the plot or it’s too early to find out! He needs to know!

His character is actually distinct and different from himself, Satan thinks it’s more interesting that way. All the books he’s read have made him a pretty awesome role player!

Satan’s notebook both as a DM and a player is filled to the brim, no detail is too insignificant to be put on the page.

Satan doesn’t fear dungeon puzzles... dungeon puzzles fear Satan.

“Are you all stupid?! This puzzle is so easy a four year old could solve it!”

I ROLL TO SEDUCE- (Asmodeus)

At first he didn’t want to play, he doesn’t play these kinds of games, sweetie. He’s too pretty.

When he’s finally convinced he puts a decent amount of effort into his character, but leaves the backstory pretty open.

Asmo would probably be the bard... right? No. He’s the warlock with the magic sugar daddy patron, and the warlock patron is spoken to as such.

“Hey baby... how’ve you been? Have I been good~?” “...”

Huh! Who woulda thought that all the bedroom roleplaying would transfer so well to DND!

Simeon is the only DM that doesn’t immediately shut this down, so Asmo will be extra inclined to play if Mr. Nice Shoulders is DMing.

When he gets really into it he buys a bunch of sparkly and very pretty dice, they bring him good luck in every roll!

Asmo has a fictional harem, no question about it. It gets to the point where Satan, Lucifer, and Simeon stop describing NPCs as attractive.

He’s rolling to seduce either way, he’s turned many an antagonist into a lover. To be fair, Asmo’s horniness has gotten everyone out of a lot of jail cells... so they can’t complain.

His notes consist of really random comments about the plot and the other players. It’s also COATED with doodles.

‘Wow, this character is such an asshole, I hope Belphie kills them.’ ‘Shit.’ ‘MC looks so cute when they play their character!!!!!!!! :D’

Poor bab forgets the rules a lot... it’s just too much to remember, okay?! How was he supposed to know that he ran out of spell slots an hour ago?!

Please help him, MC...

*Dice Cronch* (Beel)

Homeboy has been given edible dice, no question. He has also eaten the non-edible dice...

Beel goes to Satan for help with making his character, and he ends up really loving the character! :D

Problem is, he’s not that good at roleplaying... D:

“Can my character eat that person?” “Beel, no- you know what? Let me check what you’d need to roll to do that.”

I’ll save you MC part 2 electric boogaloo, but when it comes to Beel, the entire party is getting protected, no matter how little it makes sense in-character.

While Beel does take notes, a lot of them don’t end up being very important for later events. For example, he’ll jot down stuff about the layout in one room, but it turns out he didn’t take notes for the room that was actually going to be used for a boss fight.

He’s always nice to the NPCs, shame Belphie doesn’t show them the same courtesy.

Murder Hobo (Belphie)

Chaotic evil.

“Belphie, your character’s alignment is neutral good, remember?” “Fuck that, this guy’s annoying me.”

If Belphie doesn’t like an NPC, it’s up to the rest of the party to stop him from derailing the campaign and killing them.

He has space themed dice because cow-man likes space and thought they were pretty.

Notes? NOTES? You think Belphegor, the Avatar of SLOTH, takes notes? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

He’s drooling all over the notebook... ew. Someone wake him up and tell him it’s his turn.

He puts about 35% effort forth to make a halfway decent character, and approximately 4% effort to actually roleplay.

Belphie sleeps through important plot details so he’s almost always really confused. He’ll turn to MC and ask them to explain what he missed before not learning his lesson and going back to sleep.

Wake him up for the dungeon puzzles though, he and Satan love those.

“Okay, we can’t see what’s in the room because none of the conscious party members have dark vision?” “Nope, what do you do?” “...I shove Mammon inside and shut the door.” “WHAT?!”

Bonus! The Best DM (Simeon)

Our favourite angel has homebrewed this entire campaign and boy fricken howdy are these players going to enjoy it.

Simeon fudges the dice rolls to avoid anything too irreversibly bad happening, buuuuuuut he’s still a total asshole who does the random perception rolls to keep everyone on their toes.

Everyone gets a character arc god dammit, even if they don’t have a backstory, one will be provided!

He’s got a map, he’s got miniatures, he’s got dice and backup dice for the backup dice, he’s got DM notes for days!

Simeon could be a voice actor with the amount of character voices he can do, no one ever gets confused with who’s talking.

Did someone just uncover a massive bit of plot that was meant to be found out later? Good job! No harm done! Simeon’s DM improv is second to none, and the plot will adjust accordingly!

[youmarin]

Ch. 00 Pt. I : To-Not-Do-But-Actually-Do List | JJ Maybank × fem! reader

a/n : I wrote this between last night and this morning. It's not my first time writing fanfic but it is my first one of JJ Maybank. I always delete my works thinking they ain't good enough. Hopefully I won't delete it this time and when I get some breaks I can keep writing. Anyways to whoever stops and reads: Thank you very much and enjoy the story!

tw: underage drinking, smoking, slight mention of anxiety (it's barely there).

There's a small conversation in Spanish but I clarified what is being said.

word count: 3.0k+

You were studying for an upcoming test. It was Friday evening and you were sure nobody liked to study on Friday evenings just when the school week had come to an end. But you had nothing better to do. Well, you were invited to a kegger by your friends, which you were seriously considering going to since you already knew the material and didn’t know what to do now. But you were unsure about parties. One goes to have fun, right? But fun usually means getting drunk, high or hooking up. And you weren’t about to do any of them. But you figured it wouldn’t hurt to put in practice your socializing skills. 

You told your parents you were going out for the night. They looked at you oddly, but didn’t say anything, only wishing you had a good time, telling you to be safe and to call once you got there, once you were on your way back and if something came up. Of course, they also asked who you were gonna be with, where were you gonna be, if someone was going to pick you up, who would bring you home. The whole interrogation. 

After taking a shower and dressing up, you called your friends hoping someone could give you a ride. Luckily for you, your best friend hadn’t arrived yet and was close by. He was always late for everything so you kind of figured that’s how it would be. 

“Hey pretty lady.” , he smirked at you as you got on the bike behind him, arms around his torso, “What made you change your mind?”

“Got bored.”, you answered simply.

“That 's weird. You're not one to get bored. But guess we’re actually having fun tonight so let ‘s go!” he answered, hyped as ever, you chuckled as he drove off to the beach. 

You lost sight of him as soon as you stepped on the beach. And that's on having fun tonight together, huh. “So, now what?” You asked yourself looking around for some familiar faces. You managed to spot some of your friends among the crowd but they seemed to be having fun engaged in conversation and you didn’t want to burden them. Yeah you had just arrived and you already were starting to regret coming, and being surrounded by a squirming crowd, all dancing and moving around wasn’t helping. You made a haste turn and gasped when you felt something spill over your top.

“Oh dammit.” The boy cried over the spilled drinks. Some had gotten on his T-shirt too. “I mean shit, I’m sorry dude. It was kinda your fault too though.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but smile as you looked up. “Oh shit. Sorry Y/N.”

“You’re great with apologies, Maybank.” He smiled back, but he grimaced seeing your ruined shirt. You noticed and looked down, the thin fabric of your blouse letting into view your bra. You crossed your arms over your chest trying to make it better, looking up at him again and smiling awkwardly to try and hide your embarrassment. But he could make out your flushed cheeks and your discomfort. He felt his own cheeks get warmer at the fact you caught him staring and that you crossing your arms definitely didn’t help. 

“I try my best. Care for a drink?” He offered you the one cup that didn’t spill over you. You scrunched your nose and nodded your head hesitantly, reaching for it. “Actually, can you wait here for a sec.?” You nodded again and there he left you, looking around awkwardly waiting for him to get back. You looked at your drink, swirling the liquid in the cup, questioning if you should drink it. You had never drinked before. And you were alone, well, JJ was with you but you didn’t know if he was actually coming back or if he had just grabbed the opportunity to spare you from your embarrassment. You took a sip, making a face - there goes the no drinking thing you were talking about- and you saw JJ approach, eyes squinted looking for someone. He spotted you and smiled as he came to a stop in front of you, holding a drink and a sweatshirt. He offered the sweatshirt to you “Here.” 

“Oh, um, thanks.” He held your drink as you put his sweatshirt on. It was like two sizes bigger. You extended your arms making a silly pose and he approved, making you do a little spin. 

“Never seen you around one of these before. Didn’t think it was something you liked.” He started walking, you by his side.

“I actually don’t like it. You just bumped into me right when I started to panic about being here.” You said jokingly although it was actually the truth. JJ let out a laugh. “But I thought I might do something different tonight. Get out of the comfort zone, you know?”

“And how’s that going?” He questioned, you could see a smile hidden by the rim of his cup. You smiled.

“Not bad. I’m actually talking with someone, I had my first drink…” You said, and downed the last of said drink. “Not a fan of them to be honest.” you made a face and blinked a few times, not liking the taste. 

“No way.” He said incredulously. You nodded, letting out an affirmative sound. “ What would people think of me for corrupting Y/N Y/L/N?” 

“So bad of you.” you played along. “Nah, it’s just one drink. As long as you drink moderately it’s fine. Also I could’ve refused, so you’re not corrupting me.” You shrugged, then widened your eyes because of all your blabbering. “I went too deep on that joke. I'm sorry.” You smiled nervously, smoothing your hair. He just laughed.

“That ‘s fine. You have no idea how much shit I can talk.  My friends are shutting me up all the time. Wait- Not that you were talking shit- Oh God.” It was your turn to laugh about how conflicted he looked. He smiled and calmed down seeing that you didn’t take it wrong. 

There was a beat of silence before he spoke up again, “So… You wanna go somewhere more quiet?” The question caught you off guard. He sensed your hesitation and rushed to explain. “I mean, since you don’t really like parties. Thought you might want to head over to somewhere else? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. “ 

You nodded, “Wait, but what about you? I don’t wanna make you leave.” you worried

He brushed it off. “There’s always more of these.” 

So you both went further down the beach, the sounds from the party heard from a distance. You sat down and saw him take out something from his pockets. “Do you mind if I burn one?” You shook your head. He lighted it up and took a hit, slowly letting the smoke out after. You caught yourself staring, and he also caught you, showing you a smirk,  “You probably haven’t smoked before either, right?” He said mockingly. You pushed him jokingly, then overthinking about if you weren’t getting too confident around him. You hadn’t spoken more than a couple times before. 

“No, I haven’t.”

“Such a good girl.” he cooed, “I shouldn’t be the one to make you drink and smoke in the same night but, who’s better than me?” He offered you the blunt. 

“Yeah right.” you answered sarcastically, and once again hesitated but took it from his hand - there goes the “no smoking”. The same night, in less than an hour. You just need to hook up with someone and you shall check out your To-Not-Do-But-Do List-. You looked at it and proceeded to put it in your mouth. 

“Easy there.” He warned as you inhaled the smoke. You coughed it out, laughing as he caressed your back, trying to ease you. 

“Whoah.” you blinked a few times as you tried to get used to it. And that's how you spent the rest of the night there talking and smoking. Usually you had trouble making conversation but with the help of the alcohol and weed you were more easy going tonight, mostly talking nonsense and laughing at everything, which had JJ glancing at you with an amused smile. “Yeah, she definitely had never smoked before.”  He saw as you scrunched your nose, suddenly, and smelled his sweatshirt that you were wearing. “I smell like weed.”  You said, disgusted. Apparently, you forgot you were smoking. “And I’m wearing a boy’s sweatshirt.” Your eyes widened as you lifted your arms and looked at the sleeves of his sweatshirt as they dangled when you moved them around. “My parents are gonna kill me. Twice!” You cackled almost hysterically, which made JJ burst in laughter too at the sight of you. 

It was a little past midnight and after running out of energy, you had fallen asleep profoundly, leaning over JJ, your head resting on his shoulder. He didn't bother to wake you up at first, being very comfortable with how you two were. But then he almost fell asleep too and it was pretty late so he gently tried to shove you awake. “Y/N.” you grunted, and tried to ignore him. “Y/N we have to go. It 's late. Don’t wanna fall asleep here for some creep to come and kill us.” 

“You can fight them.” you mumbled. “You look like a very brave courageous prince.” 

“Do I now?” He looked at you, trying to hold back a smile. “Yeah this prince you’re talking about is lacking money. And sleep. So let 's go.” He helped you stand up. You made eye contact with him and your eyes widened. “What now?” he questioned, amused.

“Your eyes are very pretty.” 

“Oh you’re gonna make me blush. C’mon, I can give you a piggyback ride until we meet with John B.” In fact, he did blush a little by the intensity of your gaze. Not that you would notice being as you were right now. You fell asleep again almost immediately once on his back, your head resting on top of his. He almost dropped you when you got too relaxed and your grip around his shoulders got a little too loose. He hoped John B hadn’t left.  He didn't feel like walking all the way to the château. He figured you’ll stay with them. He didn't know where you lived and even if he did he wasn’t about to drop you off high out of your mind. 

“Hey, I was looking all over for you. Kie and Pope already left.” John B started as he looked at your sleeping figure being carried by his friend, his curious eyes making the question for him already but he spoke nevertheless, “You’ve been with her all this time?” 

“Yeah. She’s out like a light. And she doesn’t look like it but she’s starting to feel heavy so let’s get to the Twinkie. Also, have you seen my backpack? I thought I left it around here." He started to make his way to the van, John B keeping his pace.

“ Yeah, I grabbed it when I started looking around for you." He said before saying what he really wanted to say at that moment, "Listen, man, I know you… Are JJ, " He missed the puzzled look JJ was giving him, "Like the JJ Maybank. Big time player.  But Y/N. Out of all people? How did you even get with her? We actually know her and it would suck to hurt her feelings.”John B kept going, just astounded with how far JJ could go.

“We didn’t do anything of whatever you’re imagining.” JJ squinted his eyes at him. “I bumped into her and we stayed together after that, we chatted, drinked, smoked a little…”

“You let her smoke? Since when does she smoke?” 

“Since today man, I don’t know. And it’s not like I forced her to do it. She can make her own decisions. Also she was with me so it’s not like something would have happened to her.” John B raised a brow, “At least nothing that she didn't want.”  He opened the sliding door of the van. “Just help me out, dude. Geez, you’re supposed to be my best friend bro. Wouldn’t hurt to show a little trust.” 

“Precisely because I am your best friend is why I care about it.” He helped JJ get you inside of the van. 

“If someone was looking at us they would say we’re kidnapping her.” John B stated as he made his way to the driver’s seat and started the Twinkie. JJ took a seat, while you laid there sleeping, your head resting on his lap. He made sure you wouldn’t move and smack your face with the van or fall to the floor. When they arrived at the Château, they both helped you out of the van and got you inside the house. JJ went to bother a sleeping Kie, asking her to help you get changed out of your clothes, though he thought you looked cute with his sweatshirt on. 

_________________

You woke up, slightly disoriented but well rested. The smell of food reached your senses. Stretching, you looked around and saw you were sleeping next to Kiara Carrera. How the hell did you get there? 

“Goodmorning.” she said, startling you. 

“Good- Morning?” You stared at her. Kie saw the confusion in your expression and smiled. Teasing a little wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“Did you enjoy last night?” Kie asked, and purposely got a bit closer, looking at your lips.

“What?”

“You don’t remember?” she clicked her tongue. “That’s a shame though.”

“What? No! No. I do remember.” Kie raised a brow, “ No, I was with JJ-” you stopped yourself, “Not! Not in a sexual way.” You rushed to explain. Sheepishly, fidgeting with your hands, you looked up at her again. “Did we really…” God,I thought I was straight. I mean, I am straight. Kie is really pretty though. God you just had sex for the first time and you don’t even remember,  you shook your head to stop the nonsense that were your thoughts at the moment.

At that point, Kiara couldn’t hold it anymore and started laughing at the conflict you were having in your head, your troubled state written all over your face.

“You two! Come and get breakfast before we eat all of it. And Kie, stop messing with Y/N.” You heard John B and JJ shout from the kitchen. You were really hungry, now that they mentioned food. And it smelled really nice earlier. You both got up and went to the dinner table, where you found JJ fixing up a plate for you. He motioned for you to sit. “Goodmorning.” He said, giving you a smile. “You good?” 

Nervously, you greeted him back, nodding. You probably made some trouble for them last night, especially for JJ. You all sat at the table, chatting and recalling stuff from last night. Guess you still were straight, and didn’t hook up with Kie. She was just taking advantage of you not being able to process anything too well before eleven in the morning and making fun of you. You were enjoying yourself but, 

“I should be going home.” you said, excusing yourself.

“I can go with you. Also, your phone went off a few times this morning while you were sleeping.” JJ mentioned casually as he stood up after you. 

“You don’t have to do that.” You told him but he brushed you off, saying it was no problem.  “Oh my God, my phone! I mean, my parents! They’re totally gonna kill me!” The other two held their laughter towards your distressed face and JJ grimaced as he motioned for you to follow him and you went to the room he always stayed in. He gestured towards your clothes and your phone. He had washed your clothes earlier after he woke up. When you looked at your phone’s screen, you saw all the missed calls you had from your mom, your dad, even your brother. Your stomach dropped. 

“You didn’t tell them you were going out?” JJ asked. 

“I did! I just never said I was going to stay at someone else’s place!” As if on cue, your phone went off again. You both looked at each other and you answered, already grimacing at what was coming.

“Hey ma’.” 

JJ frowned, your voice sounded different for a moment. Then he heard a loud voice from the other end of the call, most likely your mom’s. He couldn’t make out what she was saying because it was in Spanish? and she was talking way too fast in a hysterical tone. He looked curiously as he heard you both.

“¡No! Mami estoy bien. Es que se hizo tarde y me quedé en casa de Kiara.” You lied, saying you stayed over at Kie’s as your mom asked you who the hell was Kiara. “Una amiga, ma. Perdón que no dije nada. Ya voy para allá. Sí, sí, bye.”  You sighed. “I’m grounded.” you fake smiled and looked over at JJ. He gave you an apologetic look. “Well I don’t really go out much.” You laughed nervously. “I should go. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you guys.” 

“Yeah, yeah, no I mean, not at all.”  JJ answered awkwardly, a hand brushing his hair back  as he smiled at you nervously. 

They let you take a shower and change back to your clothes before making your way out. You thanked them, and both you and JJ made your way out of the château and back to your house. You decided to walk, since it wasn’t too far. You stopped a couple houses before yours, telling JJ that going back after staying out the night without telling anybody and coming back home with a boy was just you asking to get yourself killed. He laughed, telling you that he understood. 

“I have no problem introducing myself to them. Since I am indeed very brave and courageous and all.” He teased, trying to see if you remembered what you said to him last night. You did remember, but did your best to play it off as if you didn’t, feeling kinda embarrassed. He laughed it off when you looked at him as if you didn’t know what he was talking about, a little hurt but he wouldn't make a big deal about it. You were high as a kite anyways. “Forget it.” he finished with a sigh. “See you around?” He asked, hopeful

“Sure. See ya around.” You gave him a hug, then started to make the rest of your way back to your house. You turned to look at him once more and gave him a smile and a small wave. He smiled and waved back. It would be hard to take that smile off his face for the rest of the day. 

[stxleslyds]

you know how dc keeps forcing this sudden "we're a family" narrative out of nowhere? I'd love batfam content but years of hurt among them make the recent content seem unearned.

bc you know more about dick and jason than the others, how do you think they would realistically become family to each other, or would it even be in character for them to be the "bros" they're written as now?

Oh anon, this question is amazing, I love it! I saw it when I woke up and since then my brain has been brewing this answer, I was thinking about it as I brushed my teeth and as I was making breakfast, and now I am ready to give you the answer, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed thinking/writing about it!

DC keeps forcing the wrong relationships, and they keep forcing the wrong centre of this supposed family, they make it out to be the Bat-Family when in reality the Bat (Bruce) should have never been invited to this party.

This is why I give you the… Dick-Family!

Oh yeah baby, I am going there. Dick is the centre of this “family”, he is the guy who is actually connected with everyone, he has been around for so long and he has been present when almost all of the remaining characters were introduced! Bruce might have come first but that guy has nothing on Dick Grayson.

Dick has cared and loved for everyone in this family in a true and beautiful way, no matter how much fanon and DC try to tell us otherwise. This man was an amazing son to Bruce and Alfred (my love for Alfred and Dick is brought to you by @hood-ex), a fantastic brother to Jason, Tim and Cass as well as a phenomenal father/older brother to Damian.

Dick Grayson is the centre of this whole thing, and thanks to DC now being an Omniverse I will be able to explain my line of thoughts. But first let me clear some ideas up.

The way I see it Jason would only get along good enough with Dick. I am not here for Jason and Tim having brunch together (honestly, Lobdell, what were you thinking), Jason never cared for Tim, and then writers that didn’t know how the Red Hood worked made him try to kill Tim so, to me, that relationship is non-existent, Jason doesn’t really perceive Tim (yet).

Jason and Damian, listen, I know that there is this fanon theory that Jason knew and cared for Damian while he was in the League, but that is just fanon talk and it doesn’t really fit in canon either. Jason wasn’t really capable of doing much other than fight, and after he was put in the Lazarus Pit he either had to leave because Ra’s wanted to kill him or Talia took him to the All-Castle. So, Jason’s only real interactions with Damian would be when Jason was written as a crazy, blood thirsty dude that actually tried to harm a child. So, him and Damian wouldn’t really have a good relationship (yet).

Jason and Cass… that’s just a no. Jason and Barbara, I mean Barbara was older than Dick when she first met Jason, so they wouldn’t have much of a relationship.

Now, lets move on to how I will make the Dick-Family work.

Dick (bless him) actually talks and listens to people, unlike Bruce, so the change would start there. Let’s set the timeline, I will stand right after the events of Under the Red Hood. Bruce just chose saving Joker over letting Jason kill the Joker and the building they were in exploded.

Batman keeps on being himself (trash) and Jason, having survived the explosion, moves on to keep on building his empire. He really wants to control the drug trade in Gotham, so he works on that, he slowly but surely takes his place as a drug lord again and is a constant pain in Black Mask’s ass.

While Jason is doing that, Dick is trying to put together his life after Bludhaven was attacked with Chemo. Let’s say that Bludhaven isn’t completely erased from the map but he does have to leave so the city can be re-built. He goes to Gotham, where the Red Hood works.

Let’s say that Alfred told Dick who was under the Red Hood, so Dick being a good brother goes looking for Jason. Their first interaction out of the mask wouldn’t be nice, Jason barely remembers his life before the pit and he really is convinced that Dick is the absolute worst.

But then Jason being a nosy man would make an appearance, for some reason, let’s say that he hacks into the Batcave and when he does that he finds some footage… The footage in question would be the one which shows Bruce punching Dick and sort of blaming him for Jason’s death. (Oh yeah, I am going there). The footage will make a memory come to mind, Dick taking Jason on a skying trip.

So, the next time that Dick and Jason see each other is because Jason went looking for Dick and here is where these two actually talk. The way I see it, Dick is more flexible with the no killing rule, he has worked many times with people that are villains or that just have different ways of doing things. So, I think that he would understand where Jason’s coming from with his ideas. As they begin to understand one another Jason begins to recover more and more memories from before the Pit.

They get together once a week and they chat about life as well as vigilante stuff. They become friends.

At the same time Dick is also very good friends with Tim and also acts like the amazing big brother he is with him. They chat, they sometimes work together and one day they come across a very complicated situation involving a new drug being introduced in Gotham.

Dick would call Jason and now both of them and Tim are reunited in a safe house working together so this new drug doesn’t fall in the wrong hands. Jason and Tim wouldn’t really like each other. Both of them are there for Dick and because they have to get the job done.

That’s how I see Dick forming the Dick-Family unconsciously. Hell, I will introduce Barbara now. Do you guys remember that in UtRH Barbara was mad with Bruce and didn’t want to work with him but she was still in contact with Dick? Well, I am using that so it can fit my narrative.

Dick, Jason and Tim need more intel so Dick calls Oracle (real Oracle) and because Barbara trusts Dick she works with them.

Here is where it gets interesting, through Barbara, Dick meets Cass, through Tim he meets Stephanie. You see that Dick’s connections are leading him to form a group of people. Cass and Stephanie are trained by Babs and Dick and they become the new Batgirls.

As all of that keeps developing Jason and Dick become “partners in crime” they help each other, they start building a brotherly relationship again. Although Jason refuses to say that out loud.

Then comes in Damian, a difficult child if there has ever been one but he has Bruce so Dick doesn’t have to jump in that fast… right?

Oh brother! Bruce is dead (omg what would we do? Battle for the cowl maybe? No!). with Bruce gone there is only one person who can take his place and everyone knows it has to be Dick.

Dick would feel a lot of things as he is taking Bruce’s place as Batman but he has a group of people ready to back him up (Alfred, Jason, Tim, Babs, Cass, Steph), and he also has to take care of Damian, he is a child and with his father gone then maybe his mother would want to take him back to the League of Assassins, Dick obviously doesn’t want that so he talks to Tim and tells him that he sees him as his equal and that he has a plan to make Damian stay and it involves making Damian his new Robin.

Tim would obviously be sad and a little hurt, but he understands Dick’s decision because they talked about it and Dick actually took the time to explain why he was doing what he was doing (really DC half of the problems you guys come up could be fixed in seconds if people would only take some time to just TALK!).

Dick and Damian work as Batman and Robin and Dick starts assuming the position of his father. They would live with Alfred in the penthouse and maybe Tim will join them from time to time (when he wasn’t busy with Young Justice/Teen Titans stuff). Slowly Dick and Damian will become the Dynamic Duo that we love today.

So, Dick would have his own Robin, Oracle (who is also managing her own team with Black Canary and (why not) the Batgirls), Red Robin and Red Hood working with him if he needs them. They are always a call away. Jason is the most difficult to reach and he will only involve himself in that kind of drama if its about controlling the drug trade or scaring the living shit out of some very shady people.

So, Red Hood wouldn’t be working with the new (and improved) Batman but Jason would hang out with Dick sometimes.

From there they build up. Dick renovates Arkham Asylum and makes it work they way that it is supposed to work. He might also recruit Catwoman when he needs someone really sneaky, they have known each other for so long, I bet Selina loves Dick, she would certainly help him out.

But as all things do, this happy and well-connected Dick-Family is disrupted when Bruce comes back, he inserts himself slowly back into his role as Batman and as he does that Dick starts to move away from it.

But Dick’s connections are strong and well cared for, so, even when he goes back to Bludhaven and starts fresh (again) as Nightwing those connections remain. Oracle still gives him intel, Robin and Red Robin come over to Bludhaven to patrol, maybe they even have their own rooms at Dick’s place.

With Bludhaven functioning again, all of the terrible people that were working there also come back, maybe some of them never left and they have been corrupting the city from its very core. So, when Jason tells Dick that he would like to expand his operations to Bludhaven, Dick says yes, as long as Jason keeps him updated on his work and also lets him know what is going on.

I think it works! What do you guys think so far?

From then on with the whole Dick-Family being connected and strong I think they can actually act and solve their problems as a family. All those arcs that didn’t work very well because Bruce was in the middle of it being a jerk, I think they will work if Dick is at the centre of it. Let’s say that Bruce hid the fact that Joker knows their identities and all that, with such a strong family the second that the Joker tries to manipulate Jason into believing that he created him, Dick will come out of the shadows and shut that bullshit down. If Joker tries to do something to the Circus, then the Birds of Prey and the Robins will be there in seconds helping Dick.

The Court of Owls, those little shits wouldn’t stand a chance against this team, this force of nature! Jason would be the one working from afar because you know my boy wouldn’t be subjected to the “no-killing” rule but if he does it, he has to do it away from the children (Damian) and away from Cass, if he doesn’t want to know real trouble. (He probably arranged those things with Dick a long time ago and he is happy with it).

Now, please forgive me but for angst reasons I will actually let the events of, Batman Incorporated #8, Forever Evil, Nightwing #30 and Spyral run its course.

Let me explain, after Damian’s death Dick holds the Dick-Family together, as well as Bruce because he is amazing like that, but then after Dick supposedly dies, things change just a little bit. Jason would retreat back to his own corner because the only thing attaching him to the Dick-Family was Dick but he would also keep his eyes open and he might also have a direct line with Oracle if things go south.

Aside from Jason, I do see the others working on keeping their connections intact. When Damian eventually returns the land of the living, I can see all of them coming together even more because that’s what Dick would have wanted.

And then Dick will come back from Spyral and here is where the Dick-Family will show the “Bat-Family” why its superior to it in every aspect possible.

The Dick-Family will notice that something must have happened, Dick would never play dead and leave them like that, but Dick loves Bruce and he doesn’t want to tell them the truth, Bruce has no memories now and his family doesn’t deserve that kind of drama BUT Jason and Tim are suspicious, they know Dick at this point and they trust him so they firmly believe that he is hiding something to protect someone. And here is where life repeats itself. Let’s review the Batcave’s footage, yes, I did it again, I just love the fact that Bruce has footage of himself being the absolute worst to his kids, how does DC not use it! Anyway, Tim and Jason find the footage from the events of Nightwing #30 and suddenly the Dick-Family have their “Dick defence squad” jackets on and they are ready to party.

After all that Bruce eventually gets his memories back and he is held accountable for his actions. Also, around this time the events of Robin War would have already happened so Duke is also introduced. Dick lets him join and all that, and then Duke and Cass become besties and they work together.

And yeah, as Rebirth comes closer the Dick-Family would be more united than ever.

The end.

That is how I would have done it. But this way is slow, and DC wouldn’t be able to monetize it as much as they would want.

Jason wouldn’t be giving hugs and calling everyone their brother or sister, he will only get along with Dick and he would be professional with everyone else.

Tim and Damian would get along but they wouldn’t go for ice cream together on a sunny day. Steph and Damian would and so would Cass and Tim or Cass and Duke.

Oracle would work with Dick and the others as a side thing because her main thing would be the Birds of Prey, this time with Helena too.

Alfred would spend his time with Bruce but he would also be very aware of Dick and his influence on everyone around them. Bruce eventually would be integrated to the Dick-Family because Dick is a sweetheart but Dick would also make Bruce follow his rules, Dick is a little bean but he is also the most badass person in the room (whichever room) so you better listen to what he has to say.

The Dick-Family would be something that grows silently and doesn’t need a “Joker War” in order for them to be there for each other, they would try their best each step of the way and they will talk things out when mistakes are made.

This is the way that I see this family dynamic working.

I would even go as far as to say that Talia can be part of the Dick-Family because she is connected to three people, Dick, Damian and Jason.

Dick is the person with most connections in the DC Universe, the Titans, the Justice League, Deathstroke, they all have connections to this treasure of a man. If he needs help in Gotham or Bludhaven then he can call people from the “first circle”, if things are beyond a “street level” threat them he can call the Titans and if shit really hits the fan, Clark and the others are a call away.

Anyway, this was unnecessarily long, I am sorry about it but I am also not because I really don’t know how to answer your question without going on a long rant.

In conclusion the Bat-Family doesn’t work and sadly it wouldn’t work no matter how much they force it. These people don’t have connections, Bruce is not able to make connections between people. And DC has erased entire relationships that Dick used to have. I mean, they got rid of Dick and Tim being close brothers just so they could give us a shitty brunch between Tim and Jason? Only yesterday we saw a true and beautiful interaction between Dick and Damian.

DC is handling the “Bat-Family” in all the worst possible ways. It just doesn’t work.

They should have used Dick all those years ago and they shouldn’t have destroyed Jason’s characterization with Lobdell’s ideas.

So, sadly, my dear anon, I don’t see the Bat-Family as a in character thing for any of these people as they are written currently, but I hope that you enjoyed my version of it. May the Dick-Family bring everyone who reads about it a little joy!

[bamfdaddio]

Uncanny X-Men Abridged: 1982: Fairytales & Nightmares Edition

The X-Men, those fantastical mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 153 & 160) - by Chris Claremont and Dave Cockrum, Josef Rubinstein, Bob Wiacek, Brent Anderson

I love how every character gets hit with a good dose of magical fairy dust except for Wolverine and Nightcrawler, who get turned into the Tasmanian Devil and a horny smurf, respectively

1982 is a pretty arc-based year. Most of it is dedicated to space operas, the Brood and Shi’ar politics (yawn), but there are a few outliers. Most notable of these two exceptions are issue 153 - Kitty’s fairytale - and issue 160, the introduction of Limbo. I’ve chosen to highlight these two issues because they are fun, fascinating and, moreover, they are sort of dark mirrors of one another.

Both feature Illyana as a catalyst for the action; both of them feature someone spinning her a little fairytale..

Both feature alternate takes on X-Men: one high fairytale, the other grimdark.

Both are standalone issues that barely feature into the main Shi’ar-plot of 1982 -- seriously, you can take them out without disrupting any narratives -- while still introducing plot points that would become a part of the X-Men mythos. (The Lockheed dragon; the bamf and, most importantly, the introduction of Illyana as Magik.)

It’s funny how the Brood saga takes up almost 80% of the narrative space this year, whereas the whole Limbo/Belasco/Illyana-thing is almost a throwaway plot that is arguably more iconic for the X-Men currently than the Brood are.

Anyway, context. The mansion is in shambles after the attack on the Hellfire Club. Illyana hasn’t returned home after being kidnapped by Arcade -- perhaps to give Colossus a little relief of his homesickness. Illyana then tempts fate:

Take note of that stuffed Fozzi toy, wocka wocka!

Illyana prefers Kitty to tell the story, and I get it. Colossus is a sweetheart, but the dude’s not exactly light of heart. Piotr would probably tell something dreary and fatalistic about three old sisters in a decaying orchard, while Kitty is a lot more fun.

Claremont shows that he is familiar with the workings of the teenage mind, because when faced with the challenge to tell a story, she does the same thing I did when I was thirteen: she goes for a self insert. And she incidentally writes in the boy she has a crush on as her boyfriend.

Look, all I’m saying, we’ve all been there, right?

Anyway, Kitty’s fairytale. Kitty is a pirate, Peter is her shipmate and they stumble upon a quest when ruffians accost a blind prince -- Scott -- and a wizard on his own personal flying carpet -- Xavier. They help out and get roped into the prince’s quest to save his princess from an evil corrupting influence. Sound familiar?

In true Final Fantasy-fashion, all the other party members are introduced one by one. Kitty calls upon a dragon called Lockheed she befriended while Piotr saves a weather goddess trapped in a bottle by the cursed princess. Best highlights, however, are Kitty’s versions of Kurt and Wolverine.

Way of X, I love you, but take note. Kurt was never meant to be puritan.

One of the best parts of this issue is the reaction shots of the other X-Men who listen in to Kitty’s tale. Most of their alternative versions fit stock fairytale characters, although Bamf is more a Disney sidekick than anything else. Wolverine is straight up a Looney Tune though:

At some point, someone looked at this character design and first thought of Sabretooth, right?

The kicker of all of this Kitty wasn´t actually there for the Phoenix Saga: she only met Jean once, briefly, when Jean saved her and the other X-Men from Emma. Kitty never met Dark Phoenix, she only ever heard the details secondhand. Still, she gets it mostly right: prince Scott and princess Jean are star-crossed lovers until Jean is cursed by a corrupting force. As Dark Phoenix, she is hellbent on stopping wizard Xavier and the prince in their tracks, lest they lift the curse by confronting her with her one weakness.

THE HUMANITY

Xavier uses Jean’s humanity to fight off the dark Phoenix and, in this particular universe, they succeed. Scott and Jean get the happy ending they didn’t get in the actual timeline: Kitty even cures his cursed eyebeams. It’s kind of funny that this is the only happy ending the X-Men will ever get during Claremont’s reign.

Speaking of a lack of happy endings, the dark counterpart of Kitty’s fairytale also starts with someone telling Illyana some sweet little lies:

I’m assuming that the whole Stranger Danger-campaign only got big after the eighties? Illyana has all the self preservation skills of a lemming.

Kitty notices that Illyana has vanished and is curious, following her. She steps on a strange light disk and vanishes.

As a slightly piquant aside, I was pleasantly surprised when reading this one digitally. I own a copy of this comic in Dutch (straight from the eighties) and apparently, they censored the version for the low lands. In a comic with creepy assaultey Nightcrawler and many, many, many naked Storms and Wolverines, this page was a bridge too far:

Look, maybe they weren’t entirely wrong. Last time three guys were bouncing around me and I invited them for a shower, I wasn’t entirely innocent either.

I was “also not welcome in that gym again” but that’s besides the point.

Who knows, maybe they just wanted to cut out the clunky exposition of storylines recent. In any case, the X-Men decide to investigate and they are also whisked away: those disks of light are apparently teleportation circles.

Also, can someone please tell Chris Claremont that German sometimes does have i before e?

They’re pulled into a pocket dimension where time and space are treated as guidelines rather than hard and fast rules. While Belasco taunts Kitty (and pulls her skeleton from her body to keep her from escaping), the other X-Men get separated, wandering about this utterly foreign dimension and encountering future/alternative versions of themselves.

I still love how alien this first version of Limbo is. The comic is titled ‘Shoots & Ladders’ and it’s exactly like that, except in creepy, never-ending tunnels and topsy-turvy, shadowy caverns.

Both Wolverine and Colossus are confronted by their dead selves, killed by S’ym, Belasco’s brutish lackey. The alternative Nightcrawler, meanwhile, has been perverted into a freaky little toady who has no qualms about touching Kitty inappropriately. (He's essentially the creepy, disturbing version of a Bamf.) Storm, meanwhile, is aided by an older, jaded version of herself. She’s also the one in charge of teleportation disks, which she uses to aid the X-Men:

Kitty’s casually waving skeleton always sends me

Storm is furious with what Belasco has wrought onto Kitty, her Mother Bear Instincts activating. She wants to give chase, but that’s when older!Storm intervenes. She warns Storm that this is a crossroads. In her variant universe, the X-Men chased after Belasco and it went badly for them: Wolverine and Colossus died, Nightcrawler turned evil and Storm became trapped in Limbo.

There’s no word of what happened to their Kitty or Illyana, but I think that’s because Limbo does not play by any of our regular rules. See, if Belasco wanted Illyana, wouldn't he have one now? But he doesn’t. So maybe Limbo is the Schrödinger’s place, where the X-Men both did and didn’t chase Belasco. Because if they didn’t give chase, they wouldn’t have the older Storm to tell them they shouldn’t give chase, which they end up not doing. But if they don't, there wouldn't be a Storm to warn them from not going, so they would. But they wouldn't.

Got that?

Just when older!Storm prepares to send them home, Belasco returns with an army of demons.

See? I told you that paying attention to that Fozzi-toy would pay off! (Wocka wocka)

And it ends there, with Illyana rescued from her nightmare, but with the promise of more darkness in her future.

I love how Chris Claremont takes a soap opera trope -- aging up a child in the shortest amount of time possible to an age where there’s more to do with them narratively -- and makes it fit into his crazy X-Universe.

And that’s it. Two relatively pared down stories where the normal rules of reality take a backseat: one to lift Illyana’s spirits, one to break her beyond belief. In a year that’s defined by space opera, these two stories have always stuck out to me, simply because of the way they break the mold of the X-Universe. More importantly, they've given us Magik. And Bamf!

Next up: Brood, Brood, Brood, and Shi'ar.

[joheun-saram]

“Is your refrigerator running?” (jjk)

Summary- Who knew the annoying prank calls you were receiving would become the favourite part of your day.

word count- 4.2k

pairing- fratboy!Jungkook x Reader

rating- PG-13

genre- fluff, collegeau

warnings- none! just stupid jokes.

a.n- Part of my drabbles for @btsholidaybingo​, ticking off the Prank Calls tile! I’ll be posting these every week or so as I get them done. Check out the other drabbles here :)

s/o to the beautiful @heyitsmeee2​ for beta reading and helping me fix the ending! 💕

As always feedback appreciated. Send me an ask! 💌

-

“So how’s your new boyfriend?” Namjoon asked you as you chewed on your fries, almost choking at his insinuition. He laughs at you as he takes a sip of his milkshake, slurping obnoxiously, his eyes widening as he concentrates on the flavour.

“Stop! He’s just a random guy with too much time on his hands! I don’t even know his name! Although...” You stared at your burger, trying to forget what your roommate was alluding to. Two months ago you had started getting phone calls from a stranger. It wasn't something from a horror movie, don't worry. It was harmless. He would call you at random times in the day to ask you silly questions. You don’t know how he even got your number but there was something about his easy going nature and lame jokes that made you want to continue talking to him. Namjoon suspected it was a byproduct of your loneliness, but it was comforting hearing his voice to break through your mundane day to day. 

"Hi, is this Y/N?" A deep voice spoke as you picked up the call from an unknown number.

"Yes this is she. Who is this?" You asked as you sat up straighter, your attention diverting from the paper you were writing. You had applied to eight jobs for after graduation and you were sure this was a call for an interview, even though it was 10 pm. Your eyes lit up as you hoped this was the big consulting firm you were waiting to hear from.

"I have a very important question that I was hoping you could help me with."

"Um.. sure go ahead." You fiddled with your pen, scribbling random shapes on your notebook, feeling somewhat nervous. Is this how employers usually talked? Did they do this to build anticipation?

"Is your refrigerator running?"

"I'm sorry what?"

"Is your refrigerator running?" 

"Are you calling on behalf of the landlord?" Your voice was flat with disappointment. Surely, this was not an important question. Oh how you wished it was an interview call. You sighed.

"Please answer my question."

"Yes. It's running."

"Then you better go catch it, shouldn't you?"

And with that he hung up and you were baffled. Which decade was this dude from? Who does these lame prank calls anyway and more importantly why does your caller ID not show who it is? Thinking nothing of it, you go about finishing your assignment, albeit slightly aggravated. However, the calls continue. Everyday this stranger would call you with questions, sometimes with a silly punchline but oftentimes even sillier riddles.

"Okay, dude seriously. This is getting annoying." You huffed after a week and a half of receiving calls from the same deep voiced stranger, although you’d be lying if you said his little laugh after he told his jokes was not endearing.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to annoy you." He seemed hurt and you couldn’t fathom why he would be hurt over a comment a stranger made over his prank calls. In fact, you were sure this was some hobby of his and he had a rotation of strangers to bother.

"Can you at least tell me your name?" You don’t know why you were indulging him, but you had to give him props for constantly calling you. It was kind of becoming part of your daily routine.

"Dixie. My name's Dixie." You could hear the mirth in his tone.

"Dixie? Oh I thought you were a dude, my bad."

"I can be a dude and still have Dixie as my name. Jeez, are you a bigot?" He scolded.

"Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean it that way, Dixie."

"That's Dixie Normus to you." He laughed at his joke, every syllable of his laugh separated as if he was a cartoon character.

"Oh my god. You're the worst!" Regardless of your words, you were laughing. Laughing hard enough to have the banana milk you were drinking to snort out of your nose, making you cough. For a moment, you were glad this stranger wasn't in the room.

"Sorry! Are you okay?" You could hear the humour in his words, shading them in anything but an apology.

And so it went, your mysterious caller, who refused to go by anything other than Dixie turned into a somewhat friend, if you can even call someone who you know no personal details about your friend. After a month the phone calls had turned from cringe worthy puns to actual conversations about your day. You had started to look forward to the unknown flashing on your screen, and sharing the mundane details of your day with Dixie.

In two months you learned a lot more about Dixie. He went to your university, he was an avid gamer, he majored in computer science, and apparently it was now part of his daily routine to call you whenever he was cooling down from his workout on the treadmill - explaining the creepy breathlessness of his voice and beeps in the background. Sometimes you had half a mind to go to the university gym during your calls and see your mysterious friend, but somehow you never found the courage. It was nice not knowing what Dixie looked like, not judging someone by their looks but just by the content of their words. There was no room for disappointment.

It also oddly comforted you that you would never meet him and during your nightly conversations you would end up sharing thoughts that you’d be too uncomfortable sharing with even your best friends. Thoughts about the uncertainty you had over graduating soon, thoughts about being sad over failed relationships, even thoughts about your random existential crisis that would plague you mid week. Dixie was empathetic and had a knack for comforting you with small jokes and his own struggles. You would never admit it to Namjoon, but Dixie was slowly becoming your closest friend, even surpassing him to a certain extent.

"You're insane you know that?" Namjoon chided as you talked about Dixie and how you considered him a friend now. Even though Namjoon was your best friend since first grade, he sometimes didn't understand why you romanticised daily events so much. He never understood why you kept giving Dixie the benefit of the doubt, why you kept picking up his phone calls even when you knew it was going to be a lame joke or two.

"I'm not insane Joon! Haven't you heard of pen pals? This is the same thing but with voice."

"Nah. I think it's your crippling loneliness. Which is why we're going to Jin's frat party tonight." Namjoon was not having any of your excuses. So what if your last relationship was a year ago. You and Yoongi were great together. He was the perfect boyfriend and after he went to LA to pursue his music career, you told him you'd wait. Turns out he wasn't on the same page as you since six months after moving, he called you to break things off. He was right though, it would have been stupid to wait for him when neither of you knew when and even if he was ever coming back. It was unfair to the both of you to keep dragging this thing along. But even if Yoongi hadn't been around the last year and a half, you just couldn't see yourself with anyone else. You still missed talking to him every night and sharing your day, laughing at stupid videos together or just listening to him playing the piano through the static line of your phone. Maybe Namjoon was right. Maybe you were lonely and the only reason you were so attached to Dixie was because of the way his phone calls had replaced Yoongi's and how you no longer waited at the end of your day staring at your phone waiting for your ex's call but instead you received real actual calls from your voice pen pal.

You sighed agreeing with Namjoon and went home, not exactly looking forward to the party and missing Dixie’s call.

------------------------

Jin's frat was notorious for the wildest parties on campus. It was always a cacophony of drunk students and a pit of hedonism. When Namjoon and you arrived, the party was in full swing and you thanked your best friend for having the foresight of pre-drinking. The bottle of grapefruit soju you had emptied earlier at your shared apartment ensured that you were not put off by the plethora of drunk guys trying to hit on you microseconds after you entered.

Looking for Jin and let's be honest, a little gin as well, you and Namjoon made your way to the kitchen, to be greeted by your tall friend doing a keg stand. Beer dripped down his chin as his fraternity brothers held him up, his feet almost touching the ceiling. As you poured yourself a gin and tonic, Jin climbed down from the keg to a chorus of applause. Much to your chagrin, he walked over, draping his arms around your shoulders and plastering your back with his beer soaked chest.

"Ew get off me you vermin!" You squealed, shivering in the gross feeling, your backless top doing nothing to shield you from your friend’s shirt as he refused to budge.

"Vermin? VERMIN?! I invite you to my house, give you free drinks, and an array of decent dicks to pick from and I'm the vermin?" Jin finally detaches, giving you a scowl as he leans against the kitchen island, pouring himself what you gather is his tenth drink of the night.

"Jin all of these guys are as gross as you. And I've told you I don't need to get laid!"

"Sure tell that to your vibrator working overtime."

"How did you even - " you sputered, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Namjoon, obviously. And before you kill him, there are no secrets between friends and part-time lovers." He winked, making you roll your eyes. Namjoon and Jin had been on and off since the beginning of freshmen year, neither the type for commitment but to your dismay loved to tell you all about their rollercoaster of a relationship. You swear you could write a thesis on dysfunctional relationships using theirs as a case study.

"Ew. Please stop. I don't need to know about you and Joon getting it on."

"Well then let me introduce you to someone so you can get it on." He wiggled his eyebrows puckering his lips to annoy you. 

"I know all your brothers Jin and no thank you." You lightly slapped his lips making him groan as he grabbed your wrist continuing his tirade. You’d be lying if you said his frat brothers had never caught your eye - they were famous for their astoundingly good looks, in fact there even seemed to be an instagram page dedicated to people randomly spotting them on campus (@betatauinthewild). However, their good looks did not make up for the fact that they were a bunch of loud fuckboys. You loved Jin and Namjoon and would literally stab anyone who said anything against them but you had to agree that they were the biggest players of the group, finding a new person to bed almost every weekend. That is, unless they were with each other - case and point their dysfunctional relationship.

"Well we have a new brother and he's my little brother. He's a sophomore, he just joined, and he's your type. The whole quiet but nice guy type." Jin continued, ignoring you in typical fashion.

"I don't have a type."

"Please! As if Yoongi wasn’t a cookie cutter tsundere. Come on let me introduce you to him!" He grabbed your shoulder and pleaded, pouting and widening his eyes in the most adorable puppy dog face you had seen him pull.

"Can we not talk about Yoongi please." You sighed. You finished your drink and proceeded to pour another one. 

"Yes! Let's talk about JK!"

"Jin... come on. Let's just drink okay?"

"Fine but I'm telling you, you'll get along. He's a great guy."

An hour into the party, you had lost both Jin and Namjoon and were getting tired of Jin’s exceedingly drunk frat brothers trying their pick up lines of the day on you. Your head was hurting from the noise of the party and you were sure if you saw another couple subtly trying to test their exhibitionism kink you were going to puke. So as it was typical for whenever you went to these parties, you started to make your way to Jin’s room. Jin may be loud and obnoxious and being lusted after by pretty much the entire campus, but he was reliable for one thing: he never fucked where he slept. And so his room became a sort of sanctuary for you when these parties would get too much.

You made your way up the stairs almost tripping over two guys who had decided that making out horizontally on the stairs was a good idea - you did not envy how busted their backs would be tomorrow. Punching in the code you walked in to find that there was already someone there, reclined on the bed with his arms behind his head, earphones in, humming gently as he stared at the ceiling. You had never seen him before, but boy did you wish you did. His dark hair was splayed over the pillows, a smile ghosting his full lips. He was dressed in all black, much like you but unlike your lace bodysuit and skinny jeans, he was wearing a boxy back t shirt with ripped jeans, his feet in those questionable toe socks. And he was buff, even though his body was mostly covered you could make out the muscle in his arms, one of which had intricate tattoos etched on to. You’re unaware how long you stared at this stranger, but suddenly he turns his face looking at you. Seeing you there he immediately jumps up, pulling his earphones out, startling you in turn.

“I- I’m sorry. Y-you can’t be h-here,” he stutters out, a soft blush rising up his cheeks as he nervously pulls at his ear.

“I should be saying that to you. Why are you in Jin’s room?” You shut the door, leaning on it, feeling oddly territorial.

“I- Hyung needed my room.” You found the stuttering boy in front of you endearing. Something about how he bashfully stared at anything but you while speaking made you want to hug him. 

“Oh my god! You let him into your room? Drunk during a party?” You almost scream, but lower your voice seeing the alarm on his face. Walking over, you sat next to him, a few feet away so as not to make him uncomfortable. “Do you like doing laundry or something?” you joked.

Hearing your question the boy perks up, looking at you with a bright smile that made your heart skip a beat. “I do actually! How did you know?” he asks excitedly. You almost felt bad bursting his bubble.

“I didn’t… It’s just - you know Jin’s probably having sex in there right?” You look at the abject horror on his face in sympathy, so you try to change the subject. “Nevermind. Why are you hiding in here?”

“I’m not hiding. I just got bored. Everyone there just wants to hook up or get blackout drunk.”

“You do realise which frat you’re part of right?”

“I know,” he chuckles, seemingly more relaxed as he lays down on the bed, his feet still on the floor. “I honestly didn’t even wanna join but I’m a legacy so my dad really wanted me to be a part of it, Beta Tau pride and all.”

“Not to be a bitch, but dude you sound like a protagonist of a shitty college romcom,” you laugh looking down at him as he smiles, crossing your legs on the bed as you turn towards him, forcing yourself to ignore how cute he looks from this angle.

“You think you’re being a bitch, but that's a great compliment. I wish my life was a romcom. It’d be so easy…”

“Okay, emo. What’s wrong?”

“You’re going to think it’s dumb.”

“Hey I don’t even know your name! What have you got to lose?”

“Fine. There’s this girl I like and we always call each other… Well I call her.... at this time, but she didn’t pick up. So yes I’m emo, and yes I wish I was in a romcom so I’d go downstairs and randomly run into her.” He looks at you with a sad smile, shrugging slightly, and you feel yourself deflate. Not that you were interested in him or anything. You were sure it was just the alcohol in your system making you feel extra empathetic. Yup that’s it.

“Hey, that’s not stupid,” you say gently. “What if she’s down there did you check?”

“Well… I don’t actually know what she looks like… So, no…”

“Oh then maybe you should call her again! What if she was busy?”

“I don’t wanna be pushy, you know? I’m not even sure she thinks of me the same-”

“YO DIXIE! You in there?” A loud knock booms through the room accompanied by a deep voice. The attractive stranger next to you rolls his eyes before standing up, and at hearing his nickname you feel your heart kickstart, racing as you blink in disbelief. It can’t be…

“Dixie?” you stutter out.

“What’s up dude?” He opens the doors talking to Taehyung, one of the other Beta Tau brothers, as they start talking about something. You can barely hear their conversation, your brain full of scenarios and questions, your face crimson. You never thought you’d meet Dixie in real life. Do you tell him? Do you just run away? Why did he have to be so hot?!

Taehyung notices you on the bed for the first time and in typical fashion starts hollering and high-fiving Dixie. “Damn dude! The president’s best friend! Good for you!” He snickered as Dixie looked at him with his mouth agape, before turning to you. “Ay Y/N. Treat our boy JK well okay? He’s too nice for you!”

“Fuck off hyung!” JK, apparently that’s his name, shoves Taehyung as he grins widely before wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and shutting the door, seemingly getting all that he came for.

“You’re Dixie…?” You stare up at him, standing up as you try to control the overwhelming urge to wrap your hands around him. Fuck, maybe Joon was right you did have a crush on your voice pen pal.

“I- Y/N?” He looks at you, mirroring your wide eyes. “The same Y/N I’ve been talking to?”

“Call me,” you almost whisper.

“What?”

“Call me so I know it’s real.” You move closer holding your phone up as he pulls his out of his pocket to dial your number. Your phone rings, displaying a set of numbers instead of unknown for the first time, and the two of you just stare at the vibrating device in your hand. It seems like time stood still, the air thick with tension as your shitty ringtone bounces off the walls. That is until you start laughing. Not giggling, full on laughing, holding your stomach as tears spill down your face, as JK looks at you in alarm, his arms hovering near you as you double over.

“Holy shit! You are the protagonist of a romcom!” You finally wheeze out as you hold his arm for support, while he looks at you with a frown. You’re unsure why this was your reaction, but you recover quickly to start your interrogation.

“So what’s your name Dixie or JK?”

“Jungkook, actually. Dixie’s my gamertag and JK is just what Jin hyung calls me.”

“How did you get my number?”

“Umm… I might have stolen it from hyung’s phone…”

“Why?”

“Because he prank called my friends first.” He spoke with a pout, and you swear your heart forgot to function.

“Why keep calling?”

“Really Y/N? You’re gonna interrogate me?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Keep talking Dixie!” You chuckled as his shy demeanor gave way to the Dixie, well the Jungkook, you knew. It was weird how fast the earlier awkwardness dissipated into comfort.

“What? I thought you sounded pretty! Sue me!” He shrugged, leaning back against the door, his hands in his pocket. Your eyes followed the movement, momentarily distracted by how his forearms flexed. Clearing your throat, you continued as he smirked, not missing the way your eyes seemed to be roaming his body.

“You said you were trying to call the girl you like. So you like me?” You try to sound as matter of fact as you could, but your voice wavered slightly at the last part as you made the mistake of looking at his face. He tilted his head, causing his hair to fall into his eyes that were boring holes into you, his smirk getting larger. Oh how you wished he turned back into the boy talking about how much he liked laundry.

“I thought it was obvious. I call you every night.” He stood straight, taking a step towards you causing heat to creep up your face at his sudden confidence. You don’t respond as he moves closer, causing his steps to falter. “Do you like me?” he asks, his voice a little smaller. You’re getting whiplash from the changes in his tone, but his question makes you feel warm. You haven’t felt this way in a long time, there’s butterflies in your stomach, your hands feel clammy, and you’re sure you can feel the heat off his body, so aware of where he stands merely inches away from you.

“I think so…” you move closer and he raises his hand as if to hold your hip but stops, hovering just centimeters away as looks at you, his gaze smouldering.

“What’ll make you sure of it?” he asks in a whisper, and before you can even comprehend the question, you are leaning up on your toes to press a light kiss against his lips. His lips are slightly chapped and you’re sure he can feel your heartbeat through them. Your skin tingles where he brings his hand on your hip, gently holding you. He doesn’t push you further, just leans his forehead on yours when you separate to whisper quietly, “This.”

“And?” His nose brushes against yours as you place your hand on his chest, his pounding heart mimicking yours. He slowly rubs his hands on your hips where they lay, and it’s like your skin is electrified.

“I’m sure,” you say as he crashes his lips on yours, pulling you closer as your arms snake around his neck. His reaction is much stronger this time as he moves his lips against yours feverently. He pulls you flush against him, your body molding against his hard muscles. His hands grip at your hips as he licks lightly at your lip, groaning as they part. It seems like he can’t decide what to do with his hands, roaming them over your sides, relishing the little moan you make as one of them cups your ass. His earlier shyness disappears, and who are you to resist him, as your hands in his hair pull him closer. It’s like everything finally makes sense, why you could never ignore his calls, why your heart raced whenever you heard him call your name through the static of your speaker. You had spent this whole time convincing yourself that he was just a stranger you could vent to when it was clear to you now that you were falling for him.

He whispers your name as you break apart, but his mouth continues down your jaw to your neck, kissing and sucking at the skin. His teeth drag across your collarbone, and you whimper at the way he soothes it with his tongue as you press your body even closer into his.

“Hey Y/N! Joon’s looking for you!”

The two of you break apart at the interruption, chest heaving and faces flushed. Looking up at Jungkook, you smile as he looks away shyly, his lip caught between his teeth, before turning to your best friend who is excitedly hopping in the doorway.

“I knew you would get along with JK!” Jin exclaims as you look once again at Jungkook before you both break out in a laugh. Trust Jin to know who you’d fall for before you. He comes up to pat his frat brother on the shoulder before his proud smile turns into a glare, warning the two of you that his room was for sleeping only and abruptly kicking you out. 

The two of you giggle as you make your way downstairs, unable to keep your hands off of each other, going from holding hands to hugging to sneaking kisses in the kitchen as you make your drinks. Before the night ends the two of you end up sitting in the backyard, kissing under the stars and planning your first date later that week, even though it felt like you had known each other an eternity.

You had never felt luckier to pick up a random phone call.

[lewispandora]

Middle of the Night | Wong Yukhei (Lucas)

In which you and Lucas can’t be together but still do it in secret in the middle of the night. 

Pairing: idol!Lucas x fem!reader

Genre: angst, smut, fluffy (?)

Word count:  1.8k

WARNINGS ⚠️: cheating, sex

A/N: It's really important to say that this was my first smut EVER. Actually, it was the first thing I wrote that was over 200 words lol. So please, be understanding to anything that is just not it yet – I promise I’ll get better with time. Also, this was inspired by Monsta X's Middle of the Night (those who know this song will get it as soon as they start reading it tbh). Another thing: although there is smut in here, this is not supposed to be a smut-focused scenario, the focus here is the agnsty situation Lucas and y/n are in. I’ll try to write a part II for this.

Ten and Yangyang’s thin screams could be heard all over the dorm followed by an angry and very Chinese Kun shouting “It’s too late for this!” Hendery was running after Bella who had one of his shoes on her mouth and Leon jumped from the dinner table to Xiaojun’s lap, spilling the Dak Gomtang he was having all over the floor. Winwin and Lucas could hear him exclamate “Oh no! Leon, it was the last portion! That is all Ten’s fault!”, although they both remained unfazed: it was just another normal late night in the WayV dorm afterall. 

“Louis, come here, come,” Winwin called for the cat, extending his hand towards him without taking his eyes off the phone. “Good boy,” he said after feeling the fur on his hand, patting the cat’s head. “Hey Lucas, do you want to watch something? Our schedule tomorrow is late anyway-” 

“TEN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CAT!”

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? LEON WAS WITH YOU!”

“YES BUT IT WAS YOU WHO TAUGHT HIM TO BE SMART!”

“CAN YOU GUYS STOP SCREAMING, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?”

“Why do I even live with these people?” Winwin sighed. “So, what do you say?’

Lucas was just going to say yes when his phone vibrated with your message. It was simple and short: 

“Can you come over?”

It was all he needed. 

“I can’t today, I’m going out.”

“What do you mean you’re going out? It’s winter midnight, Lucas. It’s her, isn’t it?” he asked, already knowing the answer just by the head tilt Lucas gave. “Dude, for how long do you intend to keep with this? Xuxi, you can’t-”

“Just save it for another time when I am devastated and will actually be willing to listen to you, okay? We both know it won’t take too long to happen anyway.” Lucas said and left the room. 

He got the first coats and first boots he could find, knowing he couldn’t take too much or you could change your mind. He knew it quite well, it was not the first time he was in this situation. 

To be honest, you two didn’t remember when you first met and it wasn’t important. The relevant facts were that you were truly and deeply in love when the time came for him to debut. As an idol, specially a SM idol, you could not even think about staying together: any scandal evolving Lucas meant a scandal evolving all NCT members and that was something he just couldn’t do. You understood him because deep down you always knew it would happen. So you distanced yourself from him for a while, met a rich guy ten years older than you and decided to stay with him – not because he was a nice guy because he certainly wasn’t, but because it was your way to remind yourself that Lucas was actually not the bad guy, he suffered just like you did. 

You two barely talked for ten months until his birthday came and he had the audacity to invite you. That was when everything started. Lucas was just as stunning as ever, his eyes glowing by the faint mention of the new permanent subunit he was in or the members that inhered it. But it was nothing compared to the way he looked at you when you  arrived. 

Feeling as dislocated as you could feel, you stayed in the corner for most part of the party, just capturing Lucas’ moves throughout the entire party. Mark was the closest NCT member you knew so you didn’t mind when he approached you all of a sudden to say:

“Hey! Heard you got into the university you wanted, congratulations, y/n!”

“Oh, thank you Mark. Congratulations on the success you are having down there in America as well.”

“Thank you. That’s sweet of you.” He took a deep sip of his drink. “So, why don’t you try talking with him more? I bet no one is going to find it… weird. Go there, I know you want to.”

You were indecisive for a moment, switching your gaze between Lucas and Mark but, being backed by his securing look, you held your breath and stood up, going straight to the birthday boy. That was when he looked at you and directed his cute, excited and goofy smile towards you that you found out: you were not only truly and deeply in love with Lucas. You were also madly crazy for him. 

Ever since then, you started doing the most insane thing you thought you would never be able to do: everytime you missed him too much and you knew your boyfriend wouldn’t appear, you sent Lucas a message asking him to come over. It didn’t matter what you guys did, it just had to be in between four walls and kept a secret by both of you.  You didn’t care what it was nor what it meant, you just had to have him. 

Tonight was one of those nights. Tired from all the college studies and your work, you took advantage of the fact that your boyfriend was in Daegu for a business trip and decided it was the moment to call him. 

Lucas took less than thirty minutes to arrive at your studio. He didn’t even wait for the door to be properly opened before taking you on his arms and kissing your lips.

“Why did you take this long to message me?” he asked, lips still connected to yours. 

“I’m sorry, it was the end of semester. I barely had time to sleep and I wanted to have a clean schedule so I could be only for you.” Nothing more was needed to be said. He knew you meant it.

Rapidly closing the door, Lucas turned himself back to you. Caressing your cheeks, he felt his eyes water. He was just so lucky to have you, even if it wasn’t as a whole. Even if it was just for a brief moment. Even if you actually weren’t his.

“Come, I have your favourite snacks. We can eat while relaxing, watching something.”

“I only want you,” he said softly, holding your buttcheeks and squeezing them while pushing you closer to him. The kiss shared by you two started calm and romantic but swiftly got fast and very needy. You pulled Lucas' hair a little bit, trying to contain the heat growing in your lower body but soon giving up. 

“Just take me. Take me, please.”

Slowly directing his kiss to your neck, Lucas moved both of your bodies towards your bed, gently placing you on it. He grinned just by looking at your body under his. You were so vulnerable and, no matter what others said, so his. He took your pyjamas while taking his time to kiss every single part of your body, eyes not leaving yours even for one second, stopping only after having you in your lingerie. 

Now it was your turn. Moving his head up to face yours, you started taking his clothes off. Some could feel bothered by the amount of layers due to the wintry cold but it wasn’t the case for the two of you. All you wanted to do was feel and kiss each other, deep gaze at each other. And that’s what you did. After taking his coat, jumper and shirt, you found yourself lost on his soft lips again. Kissing him passionately, you stroke his hair, slightly pulling him afar so you could down your kisses to his jaw. 

Lucas sighed at almost every touch of yours on his body. He had this soft look eyeing you, had given up trying to stop smiling a while ago. You kept going down his neck, placing wet kisses and smooth bites here and there just to make him abruptly lose air. You stopped to look at him once more before moving down to where a happy trail would be. Anticipating what was to come, Lucas held strands of your hair and lifted you chin so he could kiss you. 

When your mouth watered his manhood, it was still covered by his pants. You placed kisses in the entirety of his cock while massaging his balls, not taking your eyes off his. Lucas was so beautiful in every angle but this was by far one of your favourites. Smirking to yourself, you lowered his pants, revealing a knob wet by precum. 

Just the direct contact of your mouth and his dick was enough to make Lucas groan loud. The effect you had on him was indescribable. You started taking him with your mouth and hands but slowly let him play with you while fucking your face. Even doing so, he made sure to fill his actions with suavity and passion. When he felt he was close, Lucas switched places with you, putting you under his body again. 

“Y/n,” he said as he started trailing down kisses from your neck to your venus mount “you are so beautiful, so precious, so  special. I hope you know that.” And with no previous warning, he buried his face in your pussy. 

Eating you out into oblivion while kneading your breasts, Lucas made you quiver and arch you back like no one else ever did, like only he was able to. Making you moan his name and other inaudible things, you came undone. Not wasting any time, Lucas directed himself towards you, kissing you, making you taste your own juices. 

With no previous warnings, he sank his dick inside you. One hand holding himself over you and the other holding you hand, Lucas started his thrusts slowly but quickly lost patience. Moaning your name while hearing you moan his, Lucas bit your lips, your jaw, your neck and your collarbone, trying to contain the killing amount of pleasure he was feeling – and trying to make you feel the same. Lucas was a sinner and he knew this well but he also did not care a bit: all he wanted was you, was to feel and fill you. 

With sweat covering your bodies and shameful noises leaving your mouths, Lucas started to pound into you even harder. He was going crazy, completely mad. There was not even an inch that should stay untouched by him, not a single piece of your body that shouldn’t have his traces in it. You didn’t know where your mind was for a while already, all you were able to do was mark Lucas’ back while bouncing to his pace and moan his name uncontrollably among with other sounds which meanings are to be known. Actually, you did know: amiss. A terrible one. But you couldn’t care less. 

When your bodies couldn’t take it anymore, you both gave in to the suffocating feeling and came together. You crying in pleasure, Lucas filling you with his love. That was all you two needed. You were happy again. You were complete again. 

Unfortunately, the moment was not dogged to last too long. Before the sun rose up, without people noticing his steps, before the traces of your damnable actions could be alluded, Lucas would go back to his ways in the middle of the night just to pretend nothing really happened.

[wannabemobwife]

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas- Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Dressed to the Nines

Dad!Mob!Tom Holland x Mom!Mob!Reader Fanfic

-Pairings: mob! Tom Holland x reader

-Warnings: Language

-Words: 3.9K

Background Info- Tom Holland is boss of his mafia and Y/N Holland, his wife, is former mafia boss turned stay at home mom but still joined Tom on his business trips and meetings. They started dating at 19 and were married at the young age of 21, realizing they only needed each other. They have two kids together, both ages 16, Parker and Rosie Holland.

*Realistically to have two teenagers, Tom and Y/N are both in their mid/late thirties but they look like they are in their mid twenties/late twenties alright. What can I say, they have really good genes. I can guarantee that Tom will still definitely look as gorgeous as he does know in his 30’s.

Author note: I enjoy writing drama, so it’s hard to have constant fluff, mostly angst (I hope, at least what I consider angst). The more times where a character almost dies but doesn’t the better to me. This is my first fanfic, I wrote this story based on being married with kids because that is the part of my life I’m most looking forward to. Heads up but there is tons of dialogue, I find that the most fun to write.

Also I enjoy PDA and a personal goal of mine is to be married for 20 years and still want to jump my husband’s bones so there are a bunch of little hints like that through the fanfic. Sorry if your name is any of the characters, feel free to change them in your mind. I know it’s stupid of me to say that but whatever.

Chapter 1: Dressed to the Nines

Words: 3.9K

You and Tom were a power couple. The Hollands, the ones with the most power and the most dangerous. A king and queen to their empire. Lately you had been tackling married life together and had been raising two kids. A boy named Parker and a girl named Rosie both the same age. But nothing could prepare you for what every parent dreads, their teenage years. All the hormones, mood swings and relationship drama that comes with it.

When both the twins turned 16 it was big turning point in your family. Rights of passage as Tom would say. You and Tom threw a massive gala to celebrate their 16 years of being alive. Tom as the leader of his own mob, money was no object and you coming from the family you did and being a former mafia boss, you both had truly opulent wealth. It was the night of their kids’ sixteenth birthday and everyone was invited from family, friends, business associates and even enemies. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer they would say. Tom and tried to keep as much as possible from your kids, trying to give them a normal childhood. Failing over and over again at that. Some nights Tom would come home bloody from beating up someone who crossed him. Or there would always been strange, bulky, built men surrounding your mansion for protection. It was hard to explain everything to the kids, but it was something they just had to do for family.

The party was about to begin, 7:00 on the dot, and the house was decorated to fit a very elegant yet youthful look. Caterers dressed in white carrying bountiful trays of appetizers. Tom and you adored the luxury of their life, even though they knew if they didn’t have all the materials they did they would be even happier. Their family is what mattered most to them. You were dressed to the nines, in a lace gold gown, with sparkly stilettos on. Her Y/H/C hair gracefully laying one her back, without a strand out of the place. And her Y/E/C eyes were beaming, if looks could kill they would. Tom couldn’t help but admire you.

“You know, it’s rude to gawk,” you said and Tom chuckled.

“I’m sorry but you’re just too beautiful not to,” he responded and placing his hands on your hips.

Rolling your eyes and smirking you said “tonight’s the night.”

“I know, should we do it now?” he questioned as his half smile turned into a frown.

“No, let him have this one more night. Without any obligation,” you had been dreading this night for years.

“Alright, darling,” he said as he kissed softly, he just couldn’t contain himself he

found his other half. The person that makes him want to be a better man. His soulmate.

Like any family there are skeletons in their closets but, the Hollands were a whole another story. Tonight was the night, one they had been dreading for 16 years, to be exact. You and Tom’s son, Parker would be tasked with the most difficult decision of his life. One that will rewrite his story. Tom wishes he would just turn it down and do what he didn’t have the balls to do when he was his age.

The day Tom’s dad brought him into the office, he knew his life would never be the same. Dom, his father and former boss of the Holland empire, made it very clear that if he turned him down, he could forget about being in this family. Tom just knows he won’t give the same ultimatum. Parker being the oldest and only son of Tom and Y/N Holland is the future of their family empire. Parker was quite popular, a playboy actually and very dashing. Wearing a black suit with a black tie and a white shirt he look just like his dad with his brown hair slicked back. Being one of the guests of honor tonight he had to look the part. Slowly made his way to the bar before his mother could find him. Desperately needing some liquid courage, he quickly poured himself a shot of vodka and downed it even faster. However nothing gets past, you, Y/N Holland.

“Parker Jackson Holland!” you fumed, catching her 16 year old son drinking.

“Hey, what’s with the middle naming me, it’s my birthday,” he responded a little startled.

“You should not be drinking, ever. You got two years, mister,” you explained.

“Alright, mum,” Parker sounded annoyed.

“Where’s your sister by the way, party is supposed to start in 10 mins,” you said as she noticed all the guest starting to arrive. A line of people already waiting at the door but everyone knew the Hollands preferred people to arrive fashionably late.

“I don’t know. Having a fit probably. Last I heard was screaming coming from her closet.”

“I’ll go check on her. Your father and I need you sober later. Understood?” You exclaimed.

“Yes, mum.” Parker was a good boy on paper but, enjoyed breaking the rules.

Right as you turned away, Parker then started to pour another shot.

“Don’t even think about it,” you said still walking forward. Parker chuckled and set the shot down.

You went to go check on her daughter. You knocked on the door when she heard something shatter. Rosie may seem timid but she definitely inherited Tom’s anger issues.

“Honey? Is everything alright?” You questioned, startled by the outburst.

“Yeah, mum. I’m sorry,” Rosie muttered seeming frustrated.

“It’s ok, oh honey!” You exclaimed, noticing the tears on her daughter face

“I know, this is stupid,” Rosie whispered trying to hide her tear stained face.

“No, no it isn’t. What’s wrong?” you said, genuinely concerned for her daughter’s well-being.

“I don’t know everything, this dress, my hair, my makeup,” she exclaimed frantically.

“Baby, you look beautiful.”

“Pretty enough that someone would want to dance with me?” Rosie whispered. You were caught off guard that your daughter could ever have thoughts like that.

“Yes of course, you are always gorgeous.” You hated seeing your baby girl beat herself up based on her looks.

“Thanks mom, I have a question?” You just nodded in response.

How did you get dad to fall in love with you?” Rosie asked inquisitively.

“Um, I guess was just myself. I didn’t put on a facade and I was very honest and transparent with him,” you answered a little taken back from the question.

“You were yourself? I find that hard to believe. From stories I’ve heard you seemed to be bold, brave and beguiling” said Rosie with a hint of sarcasm.

“Am I not those things now?” You asked, cheekily.

“No you are, just in a different way.”

“Honey, whoever you are trying impress, will love for who you are, ok?” You couldn’t stand seeing her daughter like this.

“Alright. Can you help me with my makeup?” Rosie asked because her previous makeup had been ruined by her miniature breakdown

“Yes, of course.”

Back at the party Tom was making his way around saying hello to almost everyone. He desperately needed to find his son. Tom’s and Parker’s relationship was interesting to say the least. As babies and toddlers Tom was there. He loved his kids so much but as they grew older they only noticed the times he wasn’t there. Only the missed recitals and football games, never all times that had dinner as a family and he tucked them in to bed at night. Parker is closer to his mother and his twin sister. Never really having that man to man talk with his dad yet. The time when fathers stop seeing their sons as boys and look at them as men. Tom approached Parker sitting there with his a drink in his hand, he hoped was a watered down Pepsi.

“Hey Parker, did your mom talk to you already?” Tom asked, not trying to raise too many questions.

“No, she might have mentioned something,” Parker responded.

“Ok, well after cake meet me in my office.” Parker nodded in response and noticed how he tensed a little at the conversation.

Their chat quickly ended when Harrison and his 16 year old son Henry came to wish happy birthday. Harrison is Tom’s right hand man, his consigliere and his best friend. He was more than that, Harrison was family. Harrison’s son, Henry was best friends with Parker and Rosie, ever since birth.

“Hey mate,” Tom said to his best friend Harrison.

“Hey, just came to wish this guy “happy birthday”” he said patting Parker’s shoulder.

“Happy birthday, dude” Henry said to Parker and he returned with subtle “thank you’s.” Parker slightly nodded to his dad to see if he could leave the conversation and Tom let him know it was ok.

“Come on, let’s go,” Parker exclaimed making his way to den where his other friends were.

Harrison was the first to speak up, “Have you told him yet?”

“No, Y/N and I are going to do it tonight” Tom uttered with a low toned voice.

“Geez, do you need me there?” Harrison asked, afraid Tom might say yes. Harrison was there when Tom went through the same process with his dad. Tom’s anger issues didn’t help the outcome.

“I think I’m alright, just family. Not that I don’t consider you family but I don’t even know if Rosie should be there.” Tom justified.

“It’s alright mate, I get it.”

They were both enjoying their night, making their rounds, Tom and Harrison went to get drinks, not beer this time but a scotch on the rocks as this was a classy night. Everything was dandy up until one of Tom’s men, William, came up to him informing Tom of a problem.

“Sir we have a problem,” William whispered to Tom, Tom nodded for them to follow them to his office.

“William, what now? Can’t you see I’m enjoying the party?” Tom exclaimed, closing the doors to his office.

“Sir, Daniel, was found dead at his post outside, shot by a tranquilizer gun, with a note taped to his chest, it’s for you.” William announced and handed the paper to the most important and dangerous man of the mob, his boss.

“What the fuck?” A long silence stayed in the air while Tom processed the news. Awkwardness had filled the entire room as they all awaited Tom’s response.

“For fucks sake, you need at least 3 guards posted outside. NOW!” He screamed as his anger continued to rise as read the note.

“Yes, Sir.” William said promptly.

“God forbid anything else happen tonight, but my wife and kids are the first ones to be escorted to safe house. Understood?” Tom explained as he only was only thinking about his family in that moment.

“Yes, Sir.” William said and quickly ran out before he could get the brunt of Tom’s upcoming outburst. Right on cue, Tom threw a glass ashtray at the wall, it shattering into shards.

“Calm down mate, what did the note even say.” Harrison asked with a worrisome look on his face. Tom showed Harrison the joy and his smile faded immediately. Tom for the first time, in a while, felt fear because he knew he had everything to lose.

Not wanting to deal with the life long headache that is his life. He looked for solace in, you, his wife as he spotted her over by the fireplace and made his way over to you.

“Have told you look stunning tonight?” He said instantly falling in love with you over again.

“Several times actually,” you said.

“Well I can’t help what you do to me, gorgeous.” He said placing a kiss to your temple.

“Hey, have you had the talk with him yet?” You said pointing a finger at your son getting very intimate with some girl.

The girl was Charlotte Owens. Parker and her had been together for almost a year, but you and Tom hadn’t met her formally yet. Your son was very tight-lipped the it came to his private life. She was tall, fair and had platinum blonde hair along with piercing blue eyes. Rosie didn’t seem to like her very much, constantly annoyed by her popularity status and reputation, used to be known for being with a new guy every couple weeks and don’t put it past Rosie to not give her the benefit of the doubt.

“No, remember we’re going to do it tonight. Is something wrong?” He said with concern, worried why you would forget something so important.

“No, not that talk, silly, “The talk”,” you responded. His lips formed an “o” shaped as he realized he would have to teach his son about how to be safe during sex.

“Oh, no. I’ve been avoiding it for as long as possible.”

“Why baby, you’re so good at it. You could give him a few a pointers.” You said, winking at him.

“Wow, love, you surprise me everyday. Speaking of beautiful girls, where’s Rosie. I’ve haven’t seen her all night,” Tom quickly trying to change the subject as they were at a party.

“I saw her a few minutes ago,” you said as a puzzled look grew on her face.

“Come on, let’s go find her and maybe you and I can sneak off for awhile.” He said cheekily.

“Tommy,” you whispered but eventually agreed. Slowly making your way out of the main ballroom to the secret garden next to his office.

Walking very slyly, you both made your way to secret spot near Tom’s office. Where ivy had grown throughout the brick and purple and yellow tulips lined the fence along with giant trees. There was a little wishing fountain that Tom had installed when you moved in, this was their secret spot. One where they could forget about all the violence and responsibility that tainted their lives.

Their intimate moment was ruined when Rosie walked by with some random guy named Connor, not the person she’d hope to bring there. All throughout the night Rosie seemed to be jealous of the attention her crush was getting at the party as he didn’t pay attention to her. Thus, she went find a distraction of her own.

“Oh hey, shh, look two people getting it on over there,” he whispered to her as she dragged him outside.

“Please don’t be my brother.” She murmured but felt like she wanted to throw up when she saw who it was.

“Mom, dad?” Rosie screamed.

“Oh shit, we’ve been busted,” Tom muttered against your neck.

“Hey honey,” You said while Rosie was completely mortified. Rosie’s potential hookup stood there mouth wide open.

“That’s your mum, god, she’s a babe.” Connor said.

“Connor, not helping.” Rosie exclaimed sternly as she pinched his side.

Tom spoke up, “Why don’t you guys go back and enjoy the rest of the party.”

Rosie just nodded and left as fast as humanly possible. She never wants to be that embarrassed again.

“Oh my god, we were gonna get it later.” You said.

“I know, we really screwed up this time. But have you had “the talk” with her yet,” Tom asked.

“Nope, we should both really get on that. What would I’ve happened if they hadn’t caught us?” You asked jokingly.

“I don’t want to think about that Y/N! She’s our daughter.” Tom exclaimed.

“Neither do I.”

“Enough of this, where were we?” Tom interjected immediately changing the subject.

“Well you lips were on my neck and you hand was on my waist, but I think the moment has passed and we should get back to the party,” you said rather seductively.

“Fine, I know you’re right. But fuck, I just want to make out with my wife,” Tom muttered frustratingly.

“Well you can later... in bed.” Winking as you chuckled.

“Man, that kid was right, you are a babe.”he said as he slapped your ass as you walked in front of him chuckling.

“Is it time for cake?” Harrison asks as he came up to Tom and you.

“I think it is.” Tom said and you nodded. Walking towards Rosie, who was desperately trying to erase her self from existence because of the embarrassment she’d experienced a minute ago.

“Hi, honey. Can you please go find your brother? We are going to cut the cake.” You said trying not to accidentally bring up the elephant in the room.

“Alright, fine,” Rosie muttered still a little peeved finding you and Tom like that. Rosie searched high and low for Parker.

Needing some assistance she asked Henry. “Hey, have you seen my brother?”

“Last I saw he was taking Charlotte to the green house” Henry responded.

“Alright, come on, let’s go find them” Rosie said rolling her eyes. Her hand slipped into Henry’s as she led the way. Making their way through the vast yet gorgeous yard. Rosie and Henry found Parker and Charlottes lips entangled together and bodies in a compromising position in the green house

“For fucks sake, how many people am I going to find sucking face at this party.” Rosie yelled, startling Charlotte and Parker.

“What the fuck do you want, Rosie? Can’t you see I’m busy.” Parker quipped annoyingly.

“Mom and dad want to cut the cake” Rosie responded.

“Ugh fine. Give us 10 mins” knowing he will be finished in that time.

“No, you can fuck your bimbo of a girlfriend later.” Rosie said, receiving a grimace from Charlotte.

“Don’t you fucking talk about her like that! Fuck off!” Parker yelled as Henry and Rosie left. Both of the kids had inherited Tom’s angry side.

“Well, you can explain to mom and dad you were late because you were balls deep in in your whore,” Rosie said walking away.

The moments leading up to the end of Parker’s innocence were fleeting. In more ways than one. He wasn’t a virgin even before that evening but, Parker could imagine the task he was supposed to accomplish. The 3 tier chocolate raspberry ganache cake had been cut and distributed to the guests. Happy birthday had been sung to Rosie and Parker. Parker tried to go off with Charlotte again, but Harrison stopped him and brought him to the Tom’s office.

“They’re in there,” Harrison whispered.

“Who?” Parker asked Harrison who was like his uncle.

“Just go,” Parker opened the door to see his mother and his dad sat behind the desk. The door shut behind him.

“Mom? Dad? What’s going on here?” Parker hesitated.

“Son, sit down,” Tom said, knowing this wasn’t going to be easy.

“We have to talk to you.” You interjected.

“Parker, as part of this family, there are certain responsibilities you have to take. It is a tradition in our family that at the age of 16, the sons are brought to light about the dealings of our family and what is expected of you,” Tom said as Parker grew wary. Not really understanding what his parents were trying to convey.

Throughout his entire life, he had his suspicions about his family. Wondering why men followed them everywhere, even on trips to the store for eggs. Why his parents went to work but have never seen their office, only heard it referred to as “the warehouse.” Why everything was always so damm secretive. Scared if he accidentally let some enormous family secret slip with his big mouth there would be repercussions. Never not scared of the harm that could come to his family.

“Your father, is the leader of a very powerful mob. I am part of it too, not just as wife but as his partner. There will be day when he will longer be in position of boss and you will take over,” you asserted playing off of Tom’s words.

“Our family is not only the owners of one of the world’s richest exporting company, we also do business with casinos and own multiple hotel chains. Sometimes our work brings us above the law, but the connections we have are what keep us alive.” Tom explained trying to preserve his son’s innocence.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Parker stuttered.

“Because it is time. Time for you to step up and take your place in this family. You’ve had 16 years of juvenile fun and now this is what has to be done.” Tom concluded.

“What if I don’t want this life. You don’t think I don’t know what happens behind closed doors here. All the times dad has come home with a black eye or blood on his knuckles. Why fuck isn’t Rosie here? She is the same age as me, WE ARE TWINS! Why am I the only one who has to do this. I don’t want to kill for sport like you and mom!” Parker screamed. He couldn’t handle this anymore. There was too much information he had to process.

“Do not raise your voice at your mother! Tom screamed.

“Dad, I had dreams and hopes. I wanted to go to college and travel. Find a nice girl and marry her. Experience the kind of love you and mom have. What you are asking me to do, flushes all that away. You are asking me to give up on my life.

So that’s it, I don’t have a choice,” Parker begged.

“Baby, you have a choice. Nothing is set in stone,” you said rubbing his arm.

“Y/N, you damm well know what will happen if he turns this down,” Tom yelled.

“Maybe this life works for you two, but I don’t want this kind of life. My answer is no. Find someone else.”

“Parker, you know I can’t do that. Take a couple days and think about it” Tom answered trying to stay calm.

“NO DAD! My answer is final, I’m not going to be your apprentice to carry on this heinous family legacy!” Parker exploded. It was too much.

“If you aren’t willing to do what is asked of you, then you can forget about being in this family!” Tom screamed. He did exactly what he said he wouldn’t, he gave his son an ultimatum. Parker couldn’t handle it anymore and left. Needing to forget about the fact he no longer had a say. He was stuck.

It was just Tom and you sitting in the study. They couldn’t understand where the conversation had gone. All their hopes for tonight went out the window along with potted plant Tom threw when Parker stormed out.

“Tom, you can’t force him. You can’t do what your father did to you to him.” You tried to say in a loving tone but it came out as stern.

“IM NOT, Y/N!!!” Tom screamed. He had fucked up. The words spoken tonight have rewritten his relationship with his son.

“Alright.” You whispered trying to calm your fuming husband down.

“I’m sorry I raised my voice, baby.” Tom’s tone immediately changed once he heard the softness of your voice. You just nodded in response

“Tommy?” You asked hoping Tom was now ok.

“Yes, love” Tom said.

“He’ll come around. I can promise you that.”

“I know, darling. That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what?” a look of confusion grew on your face.

He handed you a paper, the same one that was found on Daniel’s body, saying “Eclipsing of the Hollands. Let the show begin. Better watch your back.”

It was threat. A play to eventually be made on his life or the life of his family and you all had no idea who was behind it.

Guns, Glamour, and Goodfellas Series Masterlist