#and you shall still get my thoughts
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Finished the first chapter! I love that it featured my favorite trick from the movie (the one where the Captain of the guard and the other guards were aristocrats) and it's so similar to the beginning of the movie! And the humor is *chef's kiss*
#reading and liveblogging with hazel#the scarlet pimpernel#i'm not reading it personally my sister is reading it aloud#while i crochet furiously#but it's still fun!#and you shall still get my thoughts
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so do you think he succeeded?
#i woke up out of nowhere at seven in the morning with his speech playing in my head over and over again#a better world. a free world. turn me into shredded paper#and i was thinking about how i would be really annoyed if the wish never had any consequences because if that was the case félix deserved#to make his own. in this new world there's still obfuscation. people are still pulling the strings. there's still fucking nepotism LMAO#i also almost put the ring scene as who gets powers and who doesn't because i think a lot about whether ladybug would have granted all#sentimonsters autonomy or only the ones she perceives to be human#i didn't because i couldn't find anything else that fit what's right or wrong but know i have many thoughts on this subject#miraculous ladybug#🌃#ml gifs#ml emotion#ml recreation#ough... félix#sunny from the future here i kept this in my drafts for a bit but it shall now be dispensed to you because i am a magnanimous ruler
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lucifer surprise guest. i panic. i shove 3 apples in his face. he thanks me and invites me to the HOL for the hundredth time where the apple collection grows because it's all i have to offer
#i panic and just press skip sometimes too lol oops#i know theres a wiki btw i just get jumpscared and im always somewhere i cant easily access it w/o my phone refreshing the whole app </3#ESPECIALLY BARBATOS WITH THE JUMPSCARES#barbatos after staring into my soul: was i of any help to you? :)#like yes you were very helpful barb can you stop making me think you know what i look like beyond the screen thank you /lh#idk i just hate how they stare at me sometimes its been 4 years since ive started playing and i still feel like im being watched#it might be a me thing idk#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me swd#obey me shall we date#sevyn's thoughts
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Wishing I was Cecil, the weiner-dog 🌭🐶
#imagine being a fuzzy little sausage#and being held by Vessel's unpeeled white-boy arms#the way he holds Cecil!!!#no worry. no angy. just warm and comfy#hepby liddol puppie#imagine falling asleep in his arms 🥺 as a weiner dog 🥺#and you get to wag your tail and go arf arf and shake your ears and lick his hands#and what's he gonna do? he'll just laugh 🥹 sensible bri'ish chuckle#“hehehe hmm. oh cecil you dawg” “bork bork 😃”#oh don't mind me. the upcoming rituals are wrinkling my brain. and my beloved fanfic is back and OOF. many thoughts#little miss “is obsessed with the wet cat pathetic goth noodle and can't let her fragile little heart be still”#head pats 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 little belly rubs 😔😔😔😔😔#i think i finally understand furries 👍 you guys are alright ✌️#(shut up with the pet play this ain't the place for it and therefore shall not acknowledge)#Cecil you lucky hotdog 🌭#sleep token
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Pictures and things
#photo diary#image 1 - pretty sky!.. so many sky photos as always#2 & 3 - baby son keeping me company during one of my Sickness days where I kind of just sit on the floor in a blanket#for hours slowly sipping pedialyte and having applesauce and such lol#He likes to bite the squeezy apple sauce pouches.. and try to steal the heating pad#4. Sky again. lighter more scattered fluffy clouds.#5 - greeting card that I drew at someone's request so they could send it to their elderly family member lol.. It's like.. cats baking#in a kitchen I guess? My eternal curse.. being the number one lover of cats in the world yet still somehow barely having a grasp#on their anatomy so they always look ridiculous when I draw them. I have both drawn and looked at cats for my entire life basically#yet somehow those two things do not come together to make me a good cat artist.. alas..#6 - underpart of an outfit I did (and havent yet posted of course because of my evil backlog of onemillion drafted posts)#I took the main dress off the top but thought the underneath part looked cool on it's own as well#7 - more sky.#8 - Mushroom fettucini alfredo. steak. and grilled asparagus. A fun little meal for me though I can't remember the occasion. I think maybe#as a reward for getting my covid booster or something. Though I still feel it's not as much of a reward when I am personally cooking#everything myself at home gjhbjh.. so its like... I'm having to do quite a lot of labor which makes it feel less relaxing I suppose. but eh#a treat in some form. Still cheaper by overall cost than ordering from a restaurant - and also can be customized and prepared#exactly how I like - which is the point. I guess more I just wish I weren't the only cooking person in the house. Everyone could#take turns making special meals for each other rather than like.. ''hmm I feel like having a treat. suppose I shall spend an hour#making it all myself and then feel tired whilst eating it'' lol.. ANYWAY#9 - and then.. you guessed it..MORE sky pictures!!! This time pinky bluey and so on.. huzzah..#A very sky heavy entry into the photo diaries I suppose#The sky in the 1st/7th image is jsut very ethereal seeming to me. something about the way the lighting is behind the clouds. It's#transportive. An interesting sky will make me feel like many other places in time or things I've seen in dreams or something. You get#a sense of being in a different world or like you're looking out over something you once imagined whilst reading a storybook. maybe lol
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For those who are unsure of whether or not they really have the "sensitivity to cold" symptom of fibromyalgia, because you think that it's just you not being able to handle colder temperatures like other people, that's one way of putting it. The other way is, when it's winter and the temperatures start dropping, do you feel your pain more intensely? Do you feel like you have more problems with your joints? Is your partner always commenting how cold your fingers and toes are, but it somehow gets more frequent in winter? Those are other ways to consider being sensitive to the cold.
#just a little food for thought#I'm thinking bc I'm high af#I had to take an entire 50 mg gummy tonight because I had some serious fucking pain#I didn't realize it was going to be a consistent pattern of winter making me feel like shit#but here we are in year two of No Longer Ignoring My Symptoms#and I'm still questioning whether or not it's actually fibromyalgia#like I 100% definitively know what it is#I just still don't have the doctors sign off bc I hate phone calls and I'm getting new insurance next month#so I figure might as well wait to see if the new insurance covers any differently#things to look forward to with the new job#anyways I'm forever grateful I didn't have to jump through every stupid ass hoop my husband did when he went full time with my company#it's explicitly designed against people who aren't neurotypical and it's honestly the most bullshit program ever#no they don't give full time by merit in my company#I really only got the job because my file boss wanted me explicitly for her job when she retires#and I will be eternally grateful that she saw something in me that no other manager saw#anyways ignore all these tags anyone who reads this that found this in the fibromyalgia tag instead of my blog#fibromyalgia#>.>#kudos to those who read this far#your journey shall reward you with a small token of my gratitude#🐦⬛ a friend for you
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.
#i was so proud yesterday to have managed my panic attack on my own.#i thought i also had managed to do the right thing but turns out it wasn't the best thing i could have done.#today is trying to get rid of the feeling that life is.#im afraid of going home because i feel like i have stepped back so much. that im a weight. that it's annoying that people have to bear wit#all that of me#im sorry... im sorry. i don't have more answers. sometimes someone tell you they have a bad day and you ask them why and your friend will#just tell you. ''idk. im sad today and depressed''. and it's just that. i think. is it justme?#i feel like such a waste#i thought i had had a good breakthrough w my psychiatrist; trying to go with that sensitivity. but turns out im still. it doesnt change the#fact that its stupid and beyond understanding. sigh.#my life is not running away my life is not running away. it feels like it but it doesnt. this too shall pass this too shall pass#stuff that's been built won"t just waste away. everyone has something going on it's called life#i know i have to tell myself it's all in my head. and i am. but. but. but. im still scared#(therapist voice: what purpose is this fear serving? loved one being angry or annoyed at me. are they? it seems like it.) (i am loved this#oo shall pass)#(mantra)#dni dnid dni
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dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....
#they made them address the thank you note to me and everything ajskfjfkfb. i didnt know they were cheating at the time but wow...#every time i break out my sticker collection and see them im reminded of it. but i cant throw out the stickers theyre deltarune ones 😭#like they were a rly cool artist.... just unfortunate that happened 💀#the drama was insane. my ex only wanted to sleep with them but they (other person) wanted them to break up with me so they could date#but my ex dumped them rly harshly for suggesting that i guess 'romantic' cheating was a step too far even for them lmaooo#i heard abt their breakup secondhand and god could they be cruel sometimes. they made fun of the sex theyd had w them#to all their mutual friends n everything i actually felt so bad for the other person when i found out. at least our breakup wasnt that bad#i only finally got that cruel side of them directed towards me like a year after when they wanted us to stop being friends#but yeah. its also funny in a way bc my ex only suggested i had adhd bc the other person did too + struggled a lot with rsd#which i guess they found out when they broke up with them. and then looked at that and thought huh my gf is kind of similar...#and this was like. 2 years before i even considered i had adhd myself and sought diagnosis ahdkfidjcjdjfjfjfkdbfnf#this made me go look the other persons art page up on instagram + then i recognised some of their friends/flatmates art pages and i found#their (my exs that is) grad year film which is still being shown at animation festivals... good for them good for them#i dont think they have an art page themselves tho cuz they were always v shy and weird abt sharing art on social media#like everyone else except them is tagged on things... shame i wouldve liked to see what they were making now. even if we're not friends#also one of their old roommates made some REALLY similar squid game fanart to mine like a month after i posted it huh..#not mad abt it or anything i think its cool i just didnt realise they showed my art to their friends. thats cute#ah this was years ago anyway. getting my head out of the rabbit hole#im gonna go play some elden ring and then maybe do smth fun in my sketchbook we shall seeee#.diaries
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And here's Emergency with Kazui for @qrevo, thank you for the request! I realized as much as Kazui's moment saving Fuuta lives in my brain, I haven't ever written anything for it, so have some more Kazui propaganda haha! (There's reference to violence, but no graphic descriptions or anything 👍)
Kazui may have joked that his reflexes were dulling with age, but they were still perfectly intact when called upon. He thought leaving his profession behind meant he’d no longer be the first responder to an emergency situation. He thought that he’d be done stumbling onto blood-covered scenes of victims and assailants. Milgram had proved him wrong.
He left many of the others in the common room, enjoying a lighthearted conversation after dinner. He stepped into the dim prison hallway, hoping to grab a cigarette from his cell and return in time to catch the end of Shidou’s story.
There rose some shouting from up ahead. Kazui picked up his pace, but there was no need to get too worked up, he thought. Mikoto had been awfully loud in his cell after his verdict. Tensions were high among the prisoners, and squabbles broke out all the time. Even upon recognizing Fuuta and Kotoko’s voices, he figured the two were having one of their usual disagreements.
It was only when he could make out some of Fuuta’s desperate words that his instincts kicked in.
“Help! Please! Is anybody -- aargk!”
Kazui’s feet were pounding across the prison before he had a moment to think. Everything snapped into focus. His time in Milgram had felt like some strange dream, but now his senses became completely clear.
He followed the noise, now recognizing the sickening sounds of violence and agonized cries between each. Though he could already piece together what was going on, his training had him peer around corners and into cells to be sure there were no other threats. He went flying into Fuuta’s cell.
He had only a second to take in the scene. Kotoko was winding up for a kick -- another kick by the look of it. Fuuta was curled in a heap in the corner, his uniform straps tangled around him. His hands shielded his face. All of which, and the ground below, dripped with blood.
Kazui took Kotoko’s arm, yanking her back before her boot could connect. She recovered much quicker from her surprise than he expected. She shifted her weight around, using new leverage to escape his grasp. As she took a swing at him, he suddenly recalled their earlier conversation about fighting styles.
He blocked blow after blow. Damn, she was strong.
“Kotoko, what is all this? I’m not trying to hurt you, but you can’t --” Kazui grunted as she landed a solid hit. He continued rattling off some typical deescalation attempts, but she didn’t hear a word of it. She hardly even looked at him, keeping her eyes trained on Fuuta as they fought.
“He’s a killer,” she said evenly. “Do you even know what he’s done?”
“Do you?”
“It’s unforgivable.”
“It’s not your call to make!” At last, Kazui managed to shove her outside the cell. She stumbled back. The two took a breath.
She wiped blood from her lip where Fuuta must have struck back. “The warden knows this is true justice. You know it is, too.”
Then, she disappeared around the corner.
Kazui stepped out to be sure she wouldn’t return. He ran back to Fuuta the moment she was out of sight. She wasn’t his top priority.
He found Fuuta mumbling to himself, still clutching his face. Kazui had only seen him with his confident, fiery attitude. He felt his stomach clench hearing the boy whimper in pain and fear. Kazui often forgot how young these prisoners truly were.
“Hey, it’s okay. She’s gone. Hey, look at me.” He gently took Fuuta’s hands, pulling them away to assess the damage. His face twisted at the sight. This was more than he was equipped to handle.
Fuuta’s hands wrapped back around himself. He gasped for air. “She… please… I can't... my eye…”
“You’re going to be alright. Just stay with me.” In a swift motion, he swung Fuuta over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. The boy cried out, but Kazui was already on the move. He called to Shidou from down the hall.
As soon as he set foot in the common area, he began giving orders. He told Shidou to examine Fuuta's condition, laying him on one of the tables. He demanded the others stay put until he could find Kotoko. He asked where the other guilty prisoners were. Most just gaped at him in shock. Though their delayed reaction was frustrating in the moment, he understood their surprise. He realized it was the first time he’d raised his voice since coming here. He’d always sat back and let the others take the lead; it was probably strange to see a laid back man like him suddenly taking charge.
Yuno leapt to her feet, already ignoring his warnings. He caught her with an arm before she could run out the door. “Oh god, Mahiru!”
“I’ll find her. Don’t leave.”
He turned on his heel and went running once more.
#milgram#kazui mukuhara#with others#its probably the expected answer for milgram/emergency lol but i still wanted to try my hand at the scene#its cool now knowing that kazui had some sort of background that helped him out -- i always thought it was a strength thing so it#was exciting for him to reveal that in cat#i think shidou gets a lot of credit for being the hero and taking charge in this moment (which is fair)#but i definitely think it could be kazui instead -- even though his character is cowardly itd fit to have him take the lead here#also RIP fuuta was supposed to play more of a role ;-; i went into this ready to put a pretty equal focus on both he and kazui#and as i wrote i was like. oh right. he dieded.#so i shall write something more fuuta-centric another time...#anyway hope you enjoy -- thank you for the request woo!#drabbles
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focalette / neuvalors whatever the ship name is orz
#beeep#gi#query#i am a trans guy furina truther and i think a lot of fanon neuvalors is really focused on a sort of. somewhat misogynistic (imo) stereotype#idk a lot of fanon seems to really like Big Strong Protector Man and Hysterical Little Emotional Woman#and thaaats not up my alley BUT I SHALL ELABORATE ON WHAT IS !#first of all. i think both of them have feelings and emotions and shit. when fanon is like here are fontaines crybabies that fanon is like#yea. you get it this time#i think furina is really invested in pretending to be who he thinks fontaine wants as an archon#and i think part of that is pretending to be a cis woman. and i think that is also why he's so dramatic and over the top in part#fontaine wants a spectacle so he gives them a spectacle but (as seen by the fountain) does hide the less entertaining side#(or the side that he can't bear to let become entertainment)#and i think he doesn't and or can't hide as much of that from neuvillette#i think when theyre both tired and alone furina can drop the exaggeration . and that. that specifically is soooooo#and tying into the trans headcanon i think nvl is the only one who knows#i still dont think furina has said everything but like. neuvillette being the only one past that first incredibly high wall. yeag#and neuvillette is imo one of those people that likes ppl that are annoying (cough cough just like me fr fr rn)#buuuuut ngl i havent thought as hard about neuvis end of it#...i dont think theyd be together currently in canon tho this is one of those slowburn bait things#also. i don't think furinas a kid pensive emoji. i know its popular on like half the fandom but nnnot my headcanon#i dont think hes acting childish in a child way i think hes acting childish in a clown way#.....hopefully this isnt my sinister!baizhu headcanon moment that ages soooo poorly ahdsjfjshsgh
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y’all ever feel like you’re trying to diffuse several bombs while a bomb is also strapped to your chest? cause my friends are sad and angry and not feeling well so i’m trying to take care of them and cheer them up and be the comic relief and also my parents are stressed so im trying to help them calm down and do the cleaning and stuff for them so they can go relax and my dog is crazy so i have to help wear him out so he doesn’t stress my parents out more and im constantly trying not to have a meltdown and also look like im not about to pass out every time i stand up and it’s just like UGH. i can physically feel tension in the air and it’s like aghhhhhh i can’t breathe
#sort of vent??? idk i’m not upset im just stressed the fuck out#some dumbass girls in my choir thought it would be the funniest fucking thing ever to touch my neck and set things on my head#like YOURE NOT QUIRKY YOURE NOT CUTE STOP TOUCHING ME???? I DONT KNOW YOU#i don’t think they’re bullying me or anything i think they just think they’re really funny#whatever#anwyays that got me super overstimulated and i couldn’t get over it until like 8th hour which is stupid my brain sucks#and then i almost had a meltdown when the library didn’t have the book i need for ap lit (which i felt like a baby for like i need to chill#and then i had to come home and do precalc and take care of the dog and do the dishes and clear off the table#and i’m just exhausted#i’m taking iron now which is definitely helping but it’s really only making it so i have enough energy to pretend like im all good#which dont get me wrong im not complaining#and being out of the flare up is GREAT#i have more energy than i have in a year#but like…… that still doesn’t mean i have energy yk???? i still feel like shit just less#anywaysssss we ball#it’s all good honestly i’m fine now it’s just been a long day#and idk how to keep everyone happy while also keeping myself functioning#alas i shall have to figure it out#if you read this sorry lol ily <33
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the chances of the people seeing this aren't super likely so this is highly inefficient but i'm too afraid to approach people personally…. yet i've been burning with the need to express my gratitude for the tags i've received individually somehow and figured, i could do it the way i do best. in the tags 😅
(sorted by most recent) (i capped the limit hard here) (some ✂️✂️ had to be done 😔) (i still like this format a lot though) (might do this again in the future idk would people like that??) (i hope it's not mortifying for anyone……..)
it's sorta the way i like it, indirect and unimposing, even if it's kinda. wieldy. but it's just on my blog so anything goes right? although in saying that, i am open to being imposed on. like if someone wants to talk about aci or something, like other fic?? i'm a big fic fiend. or anything else lol not sure what else you'd wanna chat about since so much of the stuff i've put out is just. about fic. but hey, if you're a person i don't mind being approached :>
(lol the way i've made this like a *throws out a bunch of paper slips* find your's 🎉) (might be obnoxious hm) (sorry...) (find your's if you want though 🫡)
#i said a thing#@glaciesdraco i'm so glad someone is appreciating the brilliance of my shitpost yes i went so hard on that and it's you too??#i enjoy your ramblings and hcs a lot (if that one gift art based on your hcs wasn't telling) i hope my indirect appreciation can reach you#two years ago for a gift exchange i had [get them drunk] as one of the things on my wishlist and linked your post with it because they're <#@miyukiwynter your tag was fun and cute it made me smile :) oh no the boy!#@spooky-sordid your enthusiasm for the 🥥 post despite zero context is so fun to me i'm happy my niche things connect with you like that :]#@scrambledshizaya oops! all aci posts with even more on the way sorry it's all i got#the energy of your tags is very fun though i hope to bring a little pain with the 📸⚠️ comp and loverboy cringe is so izaya indeed#@gay-deer your all caps enthusiasm is so so sweet to me thank you for loving them!! also you bring fun things to my dash so thanks for that#@vi-138 you haven't said anything so i hope you don't mind.... i've seen you in my notifs a few times and i'm appreciating it very much :>#@fweamy i like your energy and omg you like the way i draw them?? no wayyy i'm so flattered you like my portrayal of them? that's such high#this makes me feel better about my style like actually since i spend a looooot a lotta time on every little thing so it can appeal to me#and i'm not confident at all but i do try very hard to achieve aspects of how i like to see them so i'm glad it seems to resonate with you#i draw all too slowly but you shall be in my thoughts as i fight to deliver more of these scrunkly scrimbos 🫡#@zamtik you think it's awesome? :0 wow thanks! also thanks for appreciating the 🎀🔪 i made that not a lot of people acknowledge heh#@gay4and2high i like that you acknowledged the content of the fic i love the content of this fic i need to acknowledge it so bad 🗣️#@stupidusernamepolicy idk if you meant for your words to read like this but i'm still so so flattered by the tags you left on that post 🥺🥺#idk what you actually think of the fic so i can literally only imagine your enthusiasm for it but i think i feel some of it in those tags 🧠#and you seem to really like the post in particular so?? thank you c:#@whamss no way are you sure you love my art?? thank you i'm glad you find them cute and see so much personality in them too??#you pointed out shizuo in particular !! yesss i slaved away soooo tirelessly on him (except i was very tired) i'm glad he is appreciated#his face... it needed to convey so much...... sad puppy dog look#the humouring of izaya's antics that soften him in light bemusement “mouth slightly open probably as close to a smile as it would ever get”#and thank you for enjoying loverboy cringe with me he is exactly that#@soultiio thank youuu i appreciate this sorta connection we have going on where we communicate through tags a little <3#i like the comments your affection for the boys is very sweet thank you#@pennyloni thanks for the obligatory shizaya reblog#@pineapplething hihi!!!#@demon-of-ikebukuro i take joy in all the appreciation for the comm :> also you have a fic i'd like to try someday bc it looks interesting!#@churroful you haven't said much since but thanks for finding the 🎀🔪 sexy >:D i appreciate you in my notifs and i hope you enjoyed aci!!
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GRE today…..
#456 words#it’s optional for most things I’m applying to but. my grades are not amazing for the level I’m applying#so in my case taking the gre is a good idea if I can do really well#which#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#we will see#I did a practice test and sone practice problems and such and I do fine#but I would like a higher percentile in quantitative than my practices have projected#hopefully having practiced and being in a proper test environment will help push it up a few more points#also it’s like. 50/50 rn on whether I can finish the essay in 30 mins#ive gotten it closer each time I practice but#woof. hard to cleanly articulate a point you don’t know ahead of time in 30 mins#but yeah ideally I do well enough that I can send scores and they will help rather than harm#that’s all I ask. I could maybe take it again but would rather not have to spend another 250#we shall see#at least it’s not the time I took the mcat w only 2 weeks prep#and its also not the mcat#mcat has No fucking reason to be that long#that’s not a cognitive test or a content test it is an endurance test#I know gre used to be longer (like 4 hours?????) but. still#mcat was like 7 iirc#GRE is 2 hours which is a normal fucking amount of time for a test methinks#though ngl it’s a bitch that the hardest sections are at the end#well I guess that’s. a good sign actually????#bc iirc it modulates what you get on the last two sections based on your earlier performance#so the fact it gets harder means I’m doing well early on#but still………..#anyway I’m rambling#pre test thoughts I guess#don’t expect anyone to read this really and if you did sorry this is. probably entirely uninteresting
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🎤 🎤 🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3
hozier - who we are.
youtube
icehouse - crazy.
youtube
depeche mode - personal jesus.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#asks - answered.#ooc post.#okay but ESPECIALLY heavy on the last one because it literally all about the idea of someone that people can turn to in hard times-#like a god or a prophet who will listen to your plights and help you + who you should believe in. and i say this because one major theme-#to blamore's character is the concept of being a false prophet and someone who essentially unfortunately takes advantage of people's-#longing for things to get better in gotham. bc i feel like a lot of people there have either been failed by the system by other's or-#possibly both and this is so that blamore can get people to voluntarily want to consume the 'seeds' it distributes in order to uhh...#well purge gotham of its undesirables basically as terrible as that sounds. but yeah that depeche mode song? it's such a good one for-#him and definitely has helped me before to write things related to him since blamore does sometimes believe in its own hubris.#but as for the second one by icehouse that one i associate with it because although it doesn't exactly consider itself to fully identify-#with the label of being a 'man' i feel as if blamore will still talk about itself that way sometimes. its relationship with its gender-#is honestly a little bit complicated NGL because him using it/its pronouns as well is something blamore adopted recently even-#though he'd always sort of felt like disconnected and/or like it didn't really align with how he saw himself completely. BUT yeahhh#i honestly could start a whole discussion about that but i shall do that another time perhaps ahah. anyhow though besides that-#elephant in the room ever since it has transformed into this half-human half-plant monster being... although it does love any partners-#it has very much (trust me) i feel like it does wonder why they chose to be with him more often than he'd like to admit.#so that's where the whole 'crazy' part comes in and as for the hozier song that song is about how you kind of have to carve through-#this 'darkness' to rediscover ourselves and who we want to be as a result of going through a rough time or just something tough in-#general and that is SO freaking fitting in my opinion for blamore because it definitely had to completely reframe the way it thought-#about itself when it transformed. and he also had to figure out what he believed in / what his values were now which can be suchhh-#a messy process TBH but this isn't the first time that blamore's had to rediscover itself as life is honestly kind of this ongoing-#process of losing yourself and trying to find yourself again you know? but yeah. i hope you enjoyed my explanation here tehe <3#and also that you enjoy the tunes!!
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I tried to write a fanfic just for the hell of it thinking it wouldn't be too difficult and that shit was so hard. I don't know how yall do it. It's so much to think about. I never realized how hard describing some things can be. And then there's the characterization part💀 Just constantly thinking "He would not fucking say that... or would he? Nah he wouldn't I gotta delete this shit"
you can do it anon!!!! with writing, you can only improve if you write more and read more... and sometimes, the most fun you can have while writing is just letting go and putting your silly thoughts on the page and not really caring about how good it is. it's totally fine to put "idk how to write it rn but the characters do this and this". even the best writers do this before they flesh out or practice things!!!
#writing is very flexible and you can write however you want#you can write it in the form of a play if you want to#like just the dialogue and then (character did this and this)#whatever you most enjoy and what helps you get your thoughts out!#I have been writing for years and sometimes having to describe certain things still trips me up 😭#like when characters walk from place to place#uhhh they walked over here. and then they walked here. and then they walked back#and with characterization... the secret is..... it doesn't matter much...#truthfully we will never be the author of the works#so we can only write how we see that character#sometimes I'm like hmm would he really say this#I'm not sure but it's my fic and I want him to say this. so he shall say it#I believe in you!!!#ask mags
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#OUghh... I've been really sick the past few days like not able to keep food down and had to go to the hospital#to get iv fluids and etc. to stay hydrated lol...#perhaps some sort of stomach virus or something. but still very grrrr for it to happen in the middle of the evil summer of#course#when everything is hot and uncomfortable anyway.. I really wanted to get a sims video and costume pictures finished this week and keep#up writing like 1000 ish words a day for my game. but.. alas... the universe was like... I Think Not#I at least have been able to have some tea and juice and applesauce and like 4 saltine crackers today so#I always think it's funny when you're ill what sort of little things count as successes#like on any normal day eating a few crackers would just be something you don't even give a second thought#to . But when you're really sick it's like .. WOW.. I ate TWO crackers.. amazing.. huzzah... I should get an award certainly#call the press and alert them. I should be in the newspaper headlines for this harrowing feat. etc. lol#I still feel very shaky and weak though.. but am like... hhhhh... when can I work on my projects again...#Also I literaly never leave the house or have contact with anyone so maybe it's not a virus and was more food poisioning or something#since I'm not sure where I'd get a virus even but... regardless... stinky#just complaining since I suppose that is what personal blogs are for lol. I'm a private person in the sense of wanting to proect my identi#ty and like.. I dont want an alexa in my house listening to me all the time and I dont tag my real location on social media or share photos#that could reveal the front of my house or etc. etc. But in all other senses I really don't beleive in holding stuff in. Because it will#just fester. especially when it has to do with other people (like relationship issues or something) but even when its just stuff that only#has to do with you. If something annoys me then I shall let it be openly known. if I'm bothered it will be clear. etc.#Which I guess makes me seem like a Hater And Complainer but I guess I just feel like its better over all to explain and express openly#than to just silently stew and hold everything in and then probably feel worse for it later or something.#Expressing annoyance is kind of like casting the concept off from yourself and releasing it into the wild so that you're not harboring it#anymore. all grievances must be aired eventually. etc. this is a Pro complaining zone lol#If you feel like shit dont hide it. just go 'man I feel like shit'. etc. etc. Cast it off into the universe. be free#ANYWAY... aughhh......... the wizard has fallen ill in his stinky little tower.. pacing the stone floors in tattered robes. hair disheveled#. carefully sipping a single cup of tea over the course of an hour lest drinking too fast upset his fragile stomachs againe..
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