#and you have the audacity to just be a fucking taurus?????

[wwooyology]

Hey girl you might need to check this :/ someone posted your pictures

https://www.tumblr.com/icymi-enhypenver/761580542206640128/alvojake-info-kayla-sheher-infp-taurus

I saw lovely, some ppl just have some fucking audacity. I just ask that if anyone sees it then to report the post and account not only for my sake but also the other writers sake ☹️ that is just fucked like most of us took those down for a reason and doesn't give them the right to share it all over tumblr.

here's the link to both the account and post, please report both the post and the blog

[talentforlying]

GET TO KNOW ME BETTER! repost, don't reblog.

ALIAS / NAME: oxly! BIRTHDAY: may 1st ZODIAC: moo i'm a taurus, same as this old man i write HEIGHT: 5'4" anklebiter but i perch on countertops to be tall HOBBIES: writing, media ethnography, reading queer poetry, studying polari, singing, painting, playing star wars d&d FAV. COLOR: purple! i'm a lavender bitch, but also a plum bitch FAV. BOOK: inkheart by cornelia funke, my timeless beloved LAST SONG: alrighty aphrodite by peach pit just ended and devil's dance floor by flogging molly just started LAST MOVIE / SHOW: annihilation, love of my LIFE. i just picked up the third book in the southern trilogy a few weeks ago and when i have time to read i'm gonna devour that shit!! as for show, person of interest, also the love of my life RECENT READ: mary shelley's frankenstein!

INSPIRATION: hellblazer, of course. the world's end dir. edgar wright, the green room dir. jeremy saulnier, the ritual dir. david bruckner. the video game disco elysium. rhinoceros by eugène ionesco, stranger in a strange land by robert a. heinlein, something wicked this way comes by ray bradbury, the last days by adam nevill, everything's eventual by stephen king. i heard it through the grapevine - marvin gaye / anarchy in the uk - the sex pistols / sinnerman - nina simone / private life - oingo boingo.

STORY BEHIND URL: one of my favorite quotes from hellblazer that sums up what he's really about, at his core, not just the magic: "my talent's for lying. for sticking the knife in when people least expect it. then walking away with a smile and a wave before they even realize they're bleeding." it's what drew me to him as a character: his audacity, his willingness to look you right in the eye while he's stabbing you in the back. not just a trickster, but one that tells you outright to go fuck yourself, get tricked idiot.

tagged: yoinked from @devouraes tagging: i'm throwing darts at the dash, you get hit, you go for it

[thepoisonroom]

Charlotte of I say taurus moon, capricorn sun and leo rising will you Glock me ?

ugh i would've guessed you were a leo sun but this is pretty fucking valid too like i love a stable taurus with that absolutely batshit and mildly egotistical leo energy like you get some sexy points

[joshkiszkasgothgf]

Mouthy- Sub!Josh Kiszka (Smut)

Here it is queens! The first fic!

This is an 18+ fic! Anyone under 18 that I catch following this blog or liking it’s content will be blocked. I don’t fuck around! This is pure porn. You’re welcome, Greta Van Hoes

Warnings: bondage, handjob, mommy kink, bdsm dynamics, cursing, dirty talk, slight humiliation/degradation (?)

✨Masterlist✨

Joshua Kiszka could be a mouthy fucker. You knew that from the moment you met him. That mouth did and said some wonderful things, but it had the ability to get him in trouble more than he’d like to admit.

Take, for example, his current situation… hands attached to the posts of the headboard with one of his belts, his legs restrained at the ankles with two of your scarves, and you, curled up between his splayed legs with a smirk like sin gracing your angelic features.

He had known the second he made the offhand comment about your… fuck… what had he commented about? He couldn’t recall anymore. Not after everything you’d put him through in the last 20 minutes. Your fingers trailed goosebumps up his thighs, the muscles jumping, begging for your attention.

Josh felt his balls tighten as your incisors sank into one of the pulsing muscles close to the crux of his thighs. Finger tips venture dangerously close to his weeping cock. Your touch never graces it though causing a frustrated groan to tear from his throat in something akin to anguish.

Laughter peals from you as you coo, “Oh poor baby.” You even have the audacity to poke your lower lip out at him in a mock pout.

The belt holds firm as Josh pulls against it, longing to touch you, to give in to his passion, and take care of the inferno raging under his skin.

You just laugh at him, again.

One of your freshly done fingernails digs against his nipple drawing a mewling whimper from the incapacitated man.

“You keep tugging at these like they’re gonna come free. How many times do I have to tell you they aren’t going to before you get it through your thick skull, baby boy? I understand you’re a Taurus, but this is taking bull-headed to another level, Joshua.”

His cock twitches. You only use his full name when you’re serious. He fucked up and you were going to teach him patience if it killed him.

Moving from your knees to your stomach and bringing your face nearer to where he needs you most causes his back to arch. The dusting of hair trailing from his belly button catching your eye. You lean forward, bare breasts brushing gently against his cock as you suck a light hickey into the skin directly beneath his belly button.

The bruised skin hides in his happy trail and you nuzzle the spot with your nose lovingly. Hiding secret hickies in slightly obvious places has always been yours and Josh’s favorite game. You let your nose trail against his skin leading you a little closer to his cock, sucking darker hickies into the skin as you go.

A pool of precum on his belly between his hips catches your eye and you dart your tongue out to lap it up then suck a hickey into the skin where it pooled. This rips a gasp from Josh and you moan in delight as his cock twitches and another drop of precum lands softly on your cheek.

Josh’s heart tugs as you sit up onto your knees with a giggle, a perfectly manicured finger gathering the droplet up. You stare directly into his amber eyes as your soft tongue darts out. You lean forward, swipe the bead of cum onto your tongue the press your tongue into the mouth of the compliant man beneath you.

The salty taste of him mixed with your own unique taste has him addicted to the feel of your tongue against his. He tugs at his binds again wishing he could pull your hair and scratch you up.

As if reading his mind, you bury your fingers into his hair with one hand, tugging on the strands, as the other scratches down his stomach and wraps firmly around his cock. Euphoria fills you at the strangled sound that leaves his mouth.

His chest heaves with a stuttering breath as your soft hand strokes him, cock warm and heavy in your hand.

You pull from the kiss, his lips chasing yours with a whimper that sets your chest aflame. Leaning forward you spit onto your hand and use it to ease your stroking.

Josh’s body feels like it’s pulsing with warmth. From the tips of his fingers to the tips of his toes feels alight with love and lust for you. In this moment all he wants is to please you. To hear your perfect voice call him good, to bristle with your praise.

His train of thought is halted as your warm mouth engulfs his balls sucking them into your mouth and laving your tongue around them as you focus a few short strokes to his tip. You feel them convulse in your mouth.

They fall from your mouth as you pull back and say, so very sickly sweet, “You tell me if you’re going to cum, alright?”

Josh just nods, it’s all he can do with your hand working him over like this.

Panic fills his chest as your hand stops.

“Words, pretty boy,” you whisper into the skin of his hip.

“Yes, mommy,” well, that’s new, “I’ll be good and tell you.”

The look of slight shock on your face causes pride to swell in Josh’s chest. Normally you’re unphased by him when you’re on top. Always enamored, but never taken off guard.

The shock turns quickly to delight and then pleasure as you tighten your grip slightly, stroking him slightly faster and cupping his balls with your other hand.

“My sweet boy has a mommy kink, hm?”

He doesn’t realize his eyes are closed until the feel of your warm breath against the shell of his ear causes him to open them with a gasp as you whisper,

“Are you gonna be a good boy for mommy and cum?”

He nods, language not even registering as he responds, “Faster, mommy! I wanna cum for you.”

He watches your eyes darken and groans as you wrap your perfect mouth around his cock. The tip presses in and against your throat easily, tongue rubbing against the pulsing vein on the underside of his twitching cock.

You feel heat rush between your legs as he whimpers out, “I’m gonna cum,” and you pull from his cock to stroke him to his release.

“Cum for me, pretty boy.”

His vision flashes white. Body taught, arms and legs pulling against their binds, mouth opened into a perfect “o” and you practically watch the most pornographic moan you’ve ever heard travel from the depths of his stomach up through his chest and throat until it peals from his lips in a stuttering crescendo that drowns out the record spinning on the player. The muscles in his stomach flex and twitch. His nipples pebble and harden, begging to be nipped at, and you do, causing aftershocks to spread through his body.

You release him from his binds, softly kissing the areas they rubbed, then lean against his inner thigh and watch as he slowly drifts back to Earth. By the time his Earth toned eyes finally flutter open and meet yours you’ve cleaned him if his very impressive load and begun massaging lotion into his wrists and ankles.

He just lays and watches, admiring you as your take care of him. It’s moments like these that make him think maybe being a mouthy fucker isn’t such a bad thing.

✨Masterlist✨

[8thhousemomfriend]

The signs at their worst

Today my Pisces guy friend questioned why there was such a bad stereotype surrounding Pisces men. I said correlations have been collected. Then it got me thinking about how I would sum up the epitome of a bad pisces and/or their bad qualities. Then I thought about how many people also hate cancers.. and also hate every other sign for one reason or another. And so this post is born. Sorry for being a bitch ily. Starting w pisces bc they were my inspiration <3 Also idk it’s not unique but I had fun

Pisces at their worst: a passive aggressive pathological liar with both a victim complex and raging superiority complex. Won’t stand up for themselves then complains about it. And won’t shut the fuck up about their acid trip. It’s not that unique but I’m glad you have empathy now ig

Aries at their worst: so angry and self centered they actually become 10x dumber. Extremely selfish and grandiose self image. Will be just straight up mean, and pick on you like a 3rd grade bully lol. The type to take out all of their past aggression from the past 10 years on you because you said they cooked the pasta for too long

Taurus at their worst: a gluttonous lazy fuck watching hentai with cheeto puff dust all over their face. Still thinks they have the right to the highest standard in a partner, and the right to critique others looks in great detail

Gemini at their worst: I’m so sorry but a fake bitch that won’t shut the fuck up. Zero empathy, purposefully not reading the room because they want to talk in order to hide from their inner worlds and escape responsibilities

Cancer at their worst: boring self pitying lazy bitch who’s not gonna tell you what they need. Will go cold on you in an instant because of a micro expression. Playing too uwu and innocent for no fucking reason like stop. Thinks they’re different then other cancers and isn’t

Leo at their worst: Fake superficial hoe that can shoot the nastiest looks you’ve ever seen. Incredibly obvious fragile shield of self importance and self respect. Really they’re going out every night and are broke bc they spent all their money on Shein and alcohol

Virgo at their worst: the most annoying mother fucking nitpickers. Will hyper focus on tiny mistakes in your grammar and make it huge deal for some reason instead of just admitting they’re wrong… or even worse, that you’re right. If you make them angry, these are the people that will actually destroy you and turn heartless. They see everything about you. Very obvious god complex that reflects feeling extremely unworthy on a core level

Libra at their worst: like gemini, the fakest most plastic snakes ever. Even more fake then gemini. Because they’ll sugar coat and patronize you the entire time they’re pretending to like you. The most stalker-y paranoid people I’ve met. Will actually think you’re a bad gross person bc you didn’t blend your foundation onto your neck.

Scorpio at their worst: straight up rude nasty and mean. Just cruel. Will intentionally radiate the darkest meanest energy towards you. Will not talk to you. Will talk shit. Very stereotypical mean person things but taken to the next level. Def will try to destroy you mentally

Sagittarius at their worst: faux clown. Pretending to be oblivious to their asshole behavior by writing it off as honest and ‘a joke’ non thinkers that will plunge themselves into parties and drugs and then literally roast you when you ask why their rent is three weeks late. Just go to fucking therapy

Capricorn at their worst: boring and judgmental. Idk. Just like boring mean people that do coke and think they’re better than you because in five years they’ve planned to have a house, 2.5 kids, a dog, and veneers. Will bypass all morals to be number one in a system that doesn’t matter, and doesn’t give a single fuck about them

Aquarius at their worst: has the audacity to be annoying and pretentious when they’re literally a gamer. Thinks they’re unique because they watched a video about the pineal gland and draws star freckles on their face with eyeliner. Refuses to bring themselves down to earth and make connections in order to protect their god complex but will complain about being alone… and then when people reach out they stay ghosting

All roasts welcome in the comments <3 let’s be mean

[siriusblackloml]

Congrats on 300 follwers!! Here's to so many more <33. Can I please get a mamma mia with james potter? My favorite color is brick red and my zodiac is taurus!

Thank you 💞

thanks so much for leaving a request!~ (SFW)

first and foremost, 'brick red' is such a KICKASS color i fucks with it so hard

but i'd also like to point out that the color itself is one that represents love, passion, and energy, which couldn't be more fitting when it comes to james

he is by no means a very intense person, but i can totally see him tuning in with his emotions more frequently than others, right?

and the moment he set eyes on you, it was game over

i can imagine the time in which you two meet could be earlier on in the day as you're walking through the tall corridors of hogwarts

the absolute last place you want to be in right now is class, but you're also one to try and be on time to impress the professor

whatever helps get the grade, right?

you're dodging people left and right as you swiftly rush down the hallway, spotting that familiar brick red door that would lead to yet another hallway to be walked down

you’re turning your body in time with the flow of traffic, pushing open the door when suddenly all the air inside you is knocked out in an instant 

it didn’t take you long to realize you had quite literally rammed into someone that was coming through the opposite side of the door, knocking you down to the ground

with a prompt thud! on your bottom, you immediately dart your eyes up in anger, ready to yell at whoever had the audacity to knock you down

however, your breath was cut short when the two of you made eye contact

the boy was seemingly speechless at the sight of a stranger laying on the floor, books in disarray around them 

james reaches out a hand, and you hesitantly take it, allowing the boy to help you pick up the books around you

“i am so unbelievably sorry- i just wasn’t paying attention” he would plead

of course the boy felt bad, he just knocked you down! 

not that this happens often, but james knew deep down he should be on his way to start getting to his own class

yet...there was something about you that made him linger for a bit longer than he would have ever anticipated

you hum slightly, clicking your tongue

deciding not to fight back the devious smirk that danced on your lips, you tell him, “i don’t know, it looked pretty intentional to me” 

that was the start of all the flirting that would ensue for months straight

[here2bbtstrash]

LDMOLT 9

• goddayummmm she did not just had a wet dream in the plane 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

• ‘I’m happy to get a translator??????’ THE AUDACITY OF THAT BITCH not that i’m complaining if this gets her and yoongi in the same bed but still! racism of all goddddd

• ahahahaha bringing astrology in here is SO YOUUUU

• whoa whoa whoa did we just admit we have a voice kink!!! PROGRESSS

• “Okay I’m ready to go win a Grammmy now!!” he is so fucking cute 😭 what happened to my PROD asshole

• did that just happen!!! i mean i was expecting it but not like this or so soon! looks like we are way too used to them just orbiting around each other

• well fuck! i’m well FUCK!

the karaoke was so cute and i’m so glad they’re finally off the edge and are having fun like they should! because they deserve it so much!!

Mochi is as usual relentless! you kept saying it’s long but honestly it didn’t feel like it because it’s so smooth! the only thing i think that’s remaining now is their talk in the morning!

the explanation as to why the reader is so edgy about having any kind of relationship with co workers also came up! but well this has already been way past controlling anything!

my fav bunnies are finally fucking like two human beings obsessed with each other telling each other what they want exactly!

i’m so so so happy to see the progression as far! I wonder though if yoongi will remember this in the morning!

we are also sleeping in the same bed and cuddling 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 god you dummies!

this was so hot and fluffy at the same time! and this series is way too close to my heart

thank you for delivering as usual! i hope you’re resting and taking care of yourself

love ❤️

Thank you for writing:)

AHHHHH LET'S GET INTO IT 🤪

skdjhfsfd the airplane dream can you believe 💀 let's just hope she wasn't talking in her sleep 💀💀💀 and listen we all know how i feel about realism so i was like let's throw in the realest thing of all: ✨american racism✨

LET THE RECORD SHOW IT TOOK ME NINE CHAPTERS TO GET TO AN ASTROLOGY MENTION lmaooooo i mean did we already decide months ago that reader is a taurus, yes, but,

can you believe they're actually COMMUNICATING (kind of) and TOLERATING EACH OTHER (mostly) and ADMITTING FEELINGS (okay that one's just yoongi right now 💀) like who even are these two

i really really loved writing the ktown scene, these two needed to have a fun night together and i've been DYING to write them as drinking partners (you know, in circumstances where they aren't talking about dead parents and almost attempting suicide sdjkflsfd)

ahhhh it means the world that this didn't feel long to you 🥺 16k felt a little ridiculous to me but my heart really wanted this whole weekend to be one chunk, like just reader and yoongi in their lil bubble 🫧💜 i'm so glad the pace still felt easy to read!!

and yesssss 🫠 we got some more insight into her last relationship and her trust issues lmao !! when you've been burned once your brain can freak out about what feels like repeating the pattern, part of why she's been struggling so much with all of this!

we're gonna have to see what happens in the morning 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

thank youuuuu so much love!!! to hear that this series has had an impact on you means everything bc i love these two sooooo so much 😩 and i'm so glad you're enjoying, thank you for reading!! 💜

[cattles-bians]

the 'um. are our exes dating' damie thread

post directory

em: unfortunately i have ‘rebecca as jamies old flame’ brainworms and ‘viola as danis old flame’ brainworms bc lesbians sure be forming these intricate webs of exes

obsetress: bestie the best part of this is that, like all exes, dani and jamie end up together, but so do rebecca and viola, yes this is canon and no i will not be taking questions

em: holy SHIT now THAT is a rarepair!!!!!!!

em: i mean they have a lot of free time stuck in that lake.......

obsetress: so what if i made custom discord emotes specifically so it would look like they were on a date

em: WHAT IF

em: viola: on her nightly wander through the grounds

me twirling my hair: haha do you come here often

obsetress: sometimes i just like to think about how viola is a taurus and rebestiecca is a virgo and they have the swankiest flat in london together with marble countertops and stainless steel appliances and rebecca is a high powered attorney and viola buys all the designer clothes she wants and dani and jamie will come into the city to visit them but then rebecca and vi immediately start fighting and dani and jamie are like "uh owen can you come pick us up they're fighting again" but he's too busy taking hannah out to a nice dinner so they just end up getting a hotel instead and then show up to brunch the next morning and rebecca and viola are there smiling pleasantly like nothing happened and viola didn't throw a box of biscuits against the wall just last night and when dani can't control her big mouth and asks about it (jamie elbowing her in the ribs as she takes a big gulp of bloody mary) viola and rebecca just look confused and rebecca furrows her brows and is like "what fight?" and dani and jamie just look at each other and jamie shrugs and slings an arm over dani's shoulder and then they order another round of drinks but like i said i only think about this sometimes it's not like it's a full-blown headcanon or anything)

em: there is so much to process here hannah but: taurus viola is such a god tier take & i can’t believe i never thought about it?? earth sign queens

obsetress: thank you i agree and i promise you this is not my taurus ass projecting, viola is actually a textbook taurus and in this essay i will––

em: i love typing a response and by the time i send a reply there is a full fic in my mentions

obsetress: like i said! not something i think about all the time or anything!

em: yeah viola is a little volatile sometimes but they always talk abt it after and most importantly they never go 2 bed angry! violas workin through some stuff n rebecca doesn’t let her push her around

em: i MEAN or they’re totally dysfunctional but i’m dying at damie like ‘ah owen cna u pick us up the girls are fighting again’

obsetress: rebecca sits her down and makes her talk about it and she gently steers vi towards "i feel" statements, focuses on stating "you did x, and it made me feel y," and when she covers vi's hand with hers, gently stroking her thumb over her knuckles, all the tension leaves vi's body

obsetress: and viola's willing, just for a minute, to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, rebecca was right. but only this one time

obsetress: (rebecca does her best to hold back a smirk, because "only this one time" seems to happen every time, but she's not about to say that to viola's face, not now, when vi's leaning into her and nuzzling against her cheek)

em: oh this is Tender

em: damie sitting in the restaurant completely baffled makes me Lose It like yeah ok we all wanna be gentle emotionally intelligent lesbians dani clayton or jamie taylor but some of us aren’t quite there yet!!

obsetress: viola, staring at jamie's arm slung over dani's shoulder and the way dani's beaming over at her, tangling her fingers with jamie's: do you two... need to be doing that? why are you doing that

obsetress: rebecca: they're in love, babe

viola: i don't feel the need to do... that, and i love you just fine

rebecca: i love you just fine, too

dani and jamie: (staring, horrified, across the table as their waiter serves them their eggs benedict)

em: @ dani @ jamie some people aren’t on the cusp of fucking at Any Given Moment

obsetress: you: (that)

dani: i don't understand the question

rebecca: it... wasn't a question

obsetress: they're just tryna be cottagecore and vi and rebecca are out here all big city earth sign power lesbians fighting in their penthouse apartment and dani's just like "wow you two have a dishwasher???? how neat"

em: vi constantly answers the door in expensive dressing gowns that show way too much leg and the first couple times dani and jamie are suddenly v interested in the wall paper but eventually they’re just like congrats on the tits maam can we have a spot of tea

em: violas like, gloating about some business investment or properties or a lucrative deal she was ruthless enough to land and danis like oh cool :) i’ve been making a lot of jam lately. would u like some jam

obsetress: inflated property value ex-gf and homemade jam ex-gf

obsetress: meanwhile, their respective gfs, won over the jury in closing arguments ex-gf and successfully integrated a new bee colony and harvested her first jar of honey ex-gf, are sipping their whiskey and watching, enamored, as it all plays out

em: viola cannot understand they’re perfectly happy in their cosy little apartment above the shop n she’s like ‘i have some gorgeous new properties if you ever want to-‘ and rebecca and dani have to figure out how to change the topic before jamie goes off w her Kill Landlords polemic

obsetress: jamie, later: i will tolerate her, dani, i will tolerate her because you love her and because rebecca loves her, but i swear to GOD if she "not all landlords" me one more time i'll––

em: jamie ‘card carrying socialist’ taylor cannot fucking stand viola half the time n eventually she half jokes that dani ‘downgraded’ to her drop out working class ass n danis like ??? oh babe. baby cmere. me and vi broke up for like 1000 reasons but the class difference didn’t Help

em: way later dani mumbles something like ‘i said the $2 aldi wine tasted perfectly drinkable and she didn’t speak to me for days’ and jamies like ‘pardon?’ but danis already Zonked Out

obsetress: ldkjfslkdfjlsj this part SENT me just. the idea of dani's final, dozing thought being viola pressed over the two dollar aldi wine

obsetress: sometimes jamie doesn't understand how dani could've dated viola at all, but then they'll be at dinner and rebecca will make some comment about some case and dani and viola's hackles will raise in the exact same way and they'll start popping right tf off down the same lane

obsetress: and jamie's like "oh, right. that"

obsetress: (it also doesn't hurt, jamie begrudgingly admits to herself next time viola answers the door Tits Out™️, that viola's hot. super hot)

———

bonus:

audacity: just. the chaos of capitalist vi and socialist jamie being in the same fucking room

audacity: liberal versus leftist ding ding ding round one fight

obsetress: i’m crying liberal vs leftist that’s literally it

obsetress: “of course i’m a leftist, jamie, i’m gay” “that’s not—“

audacity: i love you vi but my money’s on jamie HSKDHSKDHSJSH

audacity: GOD

audacity: VI NOT EVEN KNOWING LIB IS NOT LEFTIST I—

obsetress: “it’s not like i’m a conservative just because i have money, please”

audacity: jamie looking at vi’s ostentatious new dress and going “how many renters did you make homeless for THAT”

[nat-roman0ff]

honk honk

honk honk 

-

the sequel to ’beep beep’ that no one asked for

after a chance encounter and forgetting to get your phone number, shawn sets off on a quest to find you.

-

words: 2,220

warnings: extreme dumbassery, fender benders, and Instagram.

-

“Brian, please stop laughing, this is serious.”

 Shawn rolls his eyes and smacks the gum in his mouth as his best friend of fourteen years laughs hysterically on the other side of the phone. 

 “Bro,” Brian hiccups between breaths, “this total stranger helped you find your car which you are an idiot for losing, by the way, and you’re like suddenly convinced she’s the one? You’ve completely lost it.”

 “I’m not though!” Shawn defends, “She’s just...different.”

 Brian sighs, “yeah aren’t they all.”

 “Not like that!”

 Brian clicks his tongue, “well what’s her name? Can you find her on Instagram or something?”

 “I don’t know her first name.”

 There’s a pregnant pause, “you really are a fucking idiot.”

“I know she drives a shitty Camry! And she’s a personal shopper.” 

 Shawn can hear Brian smack his forehead through the phone, “well then start back at the beginning.”

 Shawn gulps and Brian answers. 

 “The mall, moron. Go back tomorrow around the same time and see if you can find her.”

 Shawn lets out the breath he’s been holding onto since he watched you pull away, “Brian, you’re a genius!”

 “Yeah, don’t mention it.”

 -

 Your day started pretty normally; gym, coffee shop, pick up dry cleaning. You hadn’t been able to get Shawn out of your head for days now, and you hoped he made it back home to Toronto for family time.

 You thought about sending him an Instagram DM, but figured he probably got thousands a day and your measly little “remember me?” would go unnoticed in the sea of messages. He was also Shawn fucking Mendes, who had women richer and much more interesting at his disposal, what’d he want with you?

 It was hard not to think about it, with his stupid face popping up everywhere and his stupid songs coming onto the radio. But you did your best to rid Shawn from your headspace. 

 So, it had been a normal day until your best friend called you, completely frantic. 

 “CHECK HIS INSTAGRAM OH MY GOD!” She yells before you can even answer with a hello. 

 “Huh?” You say, fumbling with the keys in your hand, “what the hell are you talking about?”

 “Shawn!” She yells, blasting your ear drum, “he posted about you on Instagram!”

 Your heart stops beating for a split second when you drop your keys and all the bags to the ground to pull up his page. His latest post was put up an hour ago, and is a simple selfie with the following caption:

 Hey, I hope you follow me otherwise this would be really embarrassing. I feel like an idiot for not getting your phone number when we met and I really want to see you again. I waited for you where we met the last few days for hours on end but I never saw you. I hope you’re still around. If you do see this, pack an overnight bag and your passport and go to where we first met at 4:30 pm today. I did promise you a date, after all. - Shawn

 “Oh my god. Oh my fucking God.”

 “It’s crazy!” Your friend says, “the power of the internet, huh? So what are you gonna do?”

 “I don’t know! Why do I need an overnight bag?”

 “Bitch,” you friend starts, “if you do not go and meet him I will completely disown you.”

 “Well when you put it that way -“

 “Shut up,” she laughs, “you haven’t been able to stop talking about this guy and now he’s trying to find you? Modern romance at its finest. Love!”

 You roll your eyes, “fine! I’ll go meet him. Let me go so I can pack a bag.”

 “Alright, love you, tell me everything when you get back.”

 -

 Shawn checks his phone six times before shoving it into his pocket. He’d sent Jake to go pick you up at the parking garage while he finished up the last second arrangements. He’d chewed his nail beds to shit with nerves and prayed you’d seen his message and actually wanted to show up. 

 You’d managed to shove two extra outfits and a couple of essentials into a bag, secured your passport and made it to the garage with fifteen minutes to spare. You stood at the elevator waiting, adjusting the straps of your bag over and over, not that it was ever going to feel comfortable with the nerves you were feeling. This was the craziest thing you’d ever done. Where were you going? Where was he taking you?

 Home. Shawn thinks. 

 One of the best pieces of advice he’d gotten when the fame started becoming just a little too much to bare was not to find home in a place but in people. Home wasn’t a smelly tour bus, or hotel rooms and it certainly wasn’t Los Angeles. 

 He saw a little bit of home in you. Even if it was just a neighboring window, for now. 

 It’s about five minutes past 4:30 when a black SUV pulls up beside you. The passenger window rolls down and a burly bald man looks over from the drivers seat. 

 “Hey are you here for Shawn?”

 You gulp and nod, “you know him?”

 He smiles a trusting smile and laughs, “unfortunately. I’m Jake, come on in the kid’s got a surprise for you.”

 You crawl into the front seat, unsure to trust the man but hey, what’s the worst that could happen? 

 A lot of things now that you were thinking about it.

 Jake isn’t a man of many words. He asks your name and you make small talk about your lives. You find out he’s a Taurus and his favorite book is Of Mice and Men. You tell him about your studies at university and your grandma’s famous shortbread recipe (which he makes you promise you’ll make for him), and he makes the short drive to the airport relatively painless. 

 He takes you to a different section of LAX, one that you’ve never been to before. There’s a small fleet of private jets scattered across the tarmac and a small, relatively empty terminal. Jake shows you inside, where the only person waiting for you is Shawn, tapping away mindlessly on his phone, his left knee bouncing up and down. 

 “I found someone for you,” Jake starts and Shawn’s head immediately perks up. 

 His hand clutches his chest and he walks up to you with bright, yet tired, honey eyes, “you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this - ” 

 You press your index finger to his lips to shush him, replacing them with your lips when he stops talking. 

 At least that’s how Shawn pictured it happening.

 In reality, it’s quarter past five and you hadn’t shown up yet, Brian was feigning sleep in the passenger’s seat of the Range Rover, and Shawn had about two ounces of patience left in him.

 “She probably didn’t feel anything at all. Was probably happy to get rid of me when we found the car, this is stupid,” Shawn grumbles as he sits on the hood of the SUV.

 Brian mimics playing the violin, “no shit, Sherlock. Not everyone is entranced by your,” he waves his hands in the air, “aura and, like, wicked cool hair.” 

 Shawn rolls his eyes, “it just felt normal. I haven’t felt that in forever.” 

 “My heart is breaking for you,” his best friend deadpans. 

 He shoots Brian a glare through the windshield.

 Discouraged, Shawn jumps down off the hood and gets back into the car. Unbeknownst to him, you’ve been waiting upstairs for nearly an hour now, on the level where you actually met. The boy’s attention to detail was not all quite there.

 You debated giving up, he probably backed out, realized you were some nobody and he was like the universe’s biggest pop star at the moment. You felt stupid and played for getting your hopes up. You hate your friend for talking you into this and you hate Shawn for making it so damn public. The Instagram post has racked up over a million likes by now and countless comments and the whole thing makes you kind of queasy. This is so, so stupid and you can’t believe you’re caught up in it all.

 Aggravated, pissed off and a teensy weensy bit hurt, you look at the packed overnight bag beside you, turn the car on and pull out of your parking spot.

 The garage is busy this time of day, and you silently murder Shawn ten times over in your head for making you meet him at this time, and then not even having the audacity to show up. Your grip on the steering wheel tightens as you’re bumper to bumper with the car in front and behind you, car screaming as it idles. 

 “Why the fuck is everyone leaving at the same time!” Shawn shouts from behind the wheel one floor above you.

 Brian rolls his eyes at his friend for the umpteenth time today, “because normal people work nine to five and it’s...five twenty right now.” 

 Shawn throws his head back against the headrest and groans, “I hate everything.” 

 “Oh come on, life isn’t that bad. So you got stood up by a girl who you’ve spent a total of three hours with. You don’t even know her name! No loss. Move on, man.” 

 Shawn doesn’t want Brian to be right, he wants him to be so wrong. He wants to believe that you’ve just hit a spot of traffic, or that you don’t have Instagram or anything. You can’t fake what happened between you two, even if he didn’t quite know what that is yet. It was the first time he’s laughed, first time he’s fucking forgotten who he was for half a second. And in the best way. He wasn’t looking over his shoulder waiting for a pap or a fan to spot him a click a picture, he was just Shawn and you were just...well, you.

 He sighs, “I guess you’re right.” 

 He’s not.

 Your brakes creak as you ride around the corner, a line of cars trying to slide out in front of you from the upper floor. As always the respectful driver, you let one person in, but three slip in front and you’re left stomping on your breaks and screaming obscenities.

 “Dude you have to stop being such a pussy, just pull out in front of them!” Brian instructs as Shawn taps the brakes.

 He scoffs, “absolutely not, I’m not getting my car all dented up just because you decided not to go to the bathroom before we left.” 

 Brian pouts and folds his arms across his chest, “I didn’t have to go before,” he grumbles to himself. 

 Just as you hit the gas to lurch forward before someone else can sneak in front of your car, you feel a bump against the back end of your vehicle. 

 “Oh you have got to be kidding me!” You scream to yourself. 

 By now cars are honking since you aren’t moving, you manage to pull off to the side and the guilty vehicle that hit you pulls up alongside, tinted windows up and in full effect.

 LA dickwad.

 The passenger’s side door opens and a young man pops out that you don’t recognize, and turning the corner behind the car comes Shawn.

 “You hit my car! And you’re...here?” 

 Shawn looks awestruck at you, “did you see my post?!” 

 “Yes!” You squawk, “of course I saw it why the hell else would I be here? Where have you been? You’re late, and you dented my car!” 

 “Late?” He scoffs, “I was perfectly on time, you’re the one who is late. I was on my way out.” 

 “Ditto!” 

 Brian looks at you, to your car and then back to Shawn as he puts it together, “ohhh I get it now. Crappy car, weird sense of arousing fear while in her presence, that’s the girl.” 

 “My car is not crappy!” You snip. 

 Brian goes to say something but Shawn shakes his head at his friend. 

 “So you came?” Shawn’s voice is light, and his eyes are wide.

 You roll yours, “yes of course I did! Where were you?” 

 He points up.

 You bury your hands in your face, “wrong floor, idiot.” 

 Shawn’s face scrunches and you can pinpoint the second the lightbulb goes off in his head, “FUCK.”

 “Yeah, fuck is right, dumbass.” 

 Brian snorts. 

 Shawn steps forward and puts his hands on either side of your pouting face, “well can I at least finally get your name and phone number?” 

 You nod between his massive palms, “yeah, you’re going to need it when I file an insurance claim against you for denting my car.” 

 He laughs and releases you, “still want to go on a date with me?” 

 You teeter back and forth on your heels, knowing you’re going to say yes but also wanting to watch Shawn sweat a bit, “maybe, I don’t know…”

 “Don’t make me hit the other side of your car -” 

 “I’m kidding, I’d be very happy to still go on a date with you. Just leave Sir Louis out of it,” you smile, “where are we going?” 

 Brian puffs up his chest and steps in between the both of you, “we’re going to Canada, baby!”

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

Can I please request of Yang and Blake of an au dance contest of the two doing the forbidden dance and win the contest

Here’s your forbidden dance au for the bees. I had no idea what I was doing or if it came as well as it should. It’s definitely out of my comfort zone and I hope it came out okay.

So here everyone. Have some bees with sexual tension, dirty dancing, assertive Blake and Adam being put in his place.

I am so sorry if it’s bad. I am a simple asexual trying my best. I had to watch a couple dance videos on YouTube to get an idea of what to write.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Blake adjusted her dress and smirked as she caught Yang’s eyes. The woman wasn’t subtle at all. Blake laughed to her self quietly as Yang turned away with an embarrassed huff.

Originally, when they had been assigned as dance partners for this competition, she had been very hesitant. She had never danced with a woman before, after all. But she had quickly learned that she liked it. She liked it a lot. Especially with Yang. She was strong and powerful and Blake could feel it in every movement and touch. Each time that Yang threw her around her body and dipped her, Blake could sense the power beneath her skin. And yet… there was a gentleness to her. She never left marks like her ex-partner did. She always took care to make sure that Blake felt comfortable and safe with the steps. She was a sweetheart. And Blake loved every single thing about her. Hopefully, after they finish this competition, she could make Yang aware of these feelings. Although, she suspected that Yang already knew.

Blake briefly did once over on her outfit. A black crop top with a tasteful cut out design across the chest and mini skirt to match. She felt, for lack of a better phrase, hot. But she felt like she paled in comparison to Yang who wore long white trousers and a white button down shirt that had the top three buttons undone.

“My eyes are up here, gorgeous.” Yang murmured as she came up to stand on Blake’s right, leaning down to speak into her ear. Blake felt a shiver run down her spine. Turning to her partner, she noticed Yang’s lips twist into a self-satisfied smirk. She noticed.

“Just focus on the dance and not my ass this time.” Blake smirked back. This was their dynamic. They had left the Gal Pal station a while ago. All that was left was for a move to be made.

“You ready for this?” Yang asked, expression shifting to concern. “I know that Adam’s going to be here. Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” Blake sighed before her own expression changed. Hers, however became sharp and determined. “I’ll be even better when we win this thing and kick his ass” Blake growled.

“Damn.” Yang breathed. “You’re kind of hot when you’re feisty.” She laughed.

“Oh baby.” Blake grinned wickedly at her partner. “You have no idea.”

“Can we have a round of applause for our reining champion Adam Taurus and his new partner Cinder Fall!”

Blake narrowed her eyes and curled her lip. Adam has worked her to the bone when they were together. He had no respect for what she felt okay with and expected far too much of her. This was her time to prove to everyone that she didn’t need him.

“Now y’all are in for some drama folks. Because next we have Adam’s ex-partner Blake Belladonna and her new partner Yang Xiao Long!”

Blake smirked when the applause came. They remembered her. They knew what she was capable of. And they knew that she was going to give them a show.

“Blake, how does it feel to be back?” The announcer asked excitedly as she walked up wrapped around Yang’s arm.

“It feels amazing. Especially since I now have a partner who has… well. Let’s call it... stamina, shall we?” She chuckled. She knew exactly what she was doing with that comment. And as expected, the audience lost their minds. When she glanced at Adam, his smug expression fell into a snarl. Blake merely smirked.

“Oh, ouch! The Panther strikes!” The announcer snickered, thoroughly enjoying the drama. “And what about you, Yang? You’re pretty new to the competing scene. How’s it feel to be dancing with Blake “Panther” Belladonna?”

“Pretty great man. I’m pumped!” Yang grinned.

“Think you can win?”

“Sure thing, buddy. After all…” Blake watched a dangerous smile curl Yang’s lips. “Girls do it better. In more ways than one.”

The crowd ate it up. The two women shared a look, identical smirks covering their faces before they moved into position.

As the music started, Blake lifted her arms and curled them above her head as her hips dipped and rotated. She turned around, hips rolling as she swayed. As the music built up, Yang prowled towards her, eyes locked on hers and intense, body held strong and powerful. Blake kept swaying and shifting her hips as Yang walked around her, hand trailing around her body slowly as she came up behind Blake and grabbed her hands, slowly lowering them out to the sides as they started moving in perfect synch. As Blake slowly lowered herself to the floor and back up, Yang crossed her arms and pulled her close, leading her into a series of steps forward.

When the music reached the crescendo, Yang spun Blake around and dipped her back, pressing their hips together and rolling her upper body in a circle before pulling her up. The two exchanged steps in between each other’s thighs, hands roaming over ribs and down backs.

When the finale came up, Blake ripped away from Yang and pushed Yang’s shoulders back. She lowered her self to the floor, hips swaying all the while, keeping her hands on Yang’s body at all times. As she came up, Blake trailed her hands up Yang’s abs and pressed against her open collar. As planned, she abruptly ripped her partner’s shirt open and pushed it behind her shoulders, revealing a completely black sports bra. Yang even had the audacity to throw in a cheeky wink to Adam and Blake was sure she heard an outraged scream of “What does she even see in her!”

Yang kept shifting her hips as Blake stalked around her. After all, she had earned the nickname “Panther” for a reason. She had a certain style of walking that created a certain air of danger for the audience. It was always a hit.

When she arrived at Yang’s back, she wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a dip, her own skirt riding up slightly. As the music came to its last beat, they pressed close together and moved their mouths near each other until there was nearly no space in between and paused.

The crowd erupted into applause and the two girls stood up. Blake let out a delighted giggle and threw herself into Yang’s arms who wasted no time in picking her up and spinning her around.

Eventually though, their celebration had to be cut short. As they waited for the votes to be counted, Blake playfully glared at Yang.

“You could close your shirt. I was careful not to break the buttons.” She scolded with a smirk.

“Nah. This way, Adam can see how much he’s been upgraded.” Yang said with a wink. But before Blake could speak, the announcer’s voice cut through.

“And the winners are… Blake Belladonna And Yang Xiao Long! Get up here!”

Blake had to try very hard not to cry. Adam has always told her that it all him. But this was physical proof that that was a lie. After they collected their awards and gave a small thank you to everyone, Adam came up to them with what was supposed to be a charming smile.

“Congratulations, Blake. You’ve improved. I’m very proud of you.” Adam said. Blake felt her stomach churn in disgust. “Perhaps we could catch up?” His eyes were looking at her like she was a prime steak. She hated it. So she decided to make a point.

“Abso-fucking-lately not.” And to send the point home, she grabbed Yang and pulled her down into a deep kiss. She heard Adam let out strangled noise before he was pushed out of the way by a swarm of photographers. Good. She thought as Yang sighed into her mouth. Let this be their front page news.

She would definitely keep the cut out.

[alien-bodies]

whos this wanker

its me

Tagged by @gemvictorfromtheponyverse AND @the-deca, 2 FRESH pals bless thank

The real title is “get to know the blogger” but it’s 1am and I can’t copy more than 1 paragraph on mobile so I’m manually typin this bish!!! Gotta have fun!!!

name

ian

star sign

My mom went to the hospital 10 days past my due date and got labour induced bc I’d been in there TOO long it was TIME to GET OUT. Incidentally this was the last day of Taurus and 16 hours before Gemini began. Make of that what u will

height

In this house we round it up to 5’3”

put ur Spotify on shuffle and say the first 4 songs that show up

I share this account with my mom so I’m cheating ok we get

Frame of Mind by Tristam

Choke by IDKHBTFM (i am NOT typing that shit out are u kidding me)

Hit and Run by LOLO (HEY it’s me from the future where I finished this post. This has been stuck in my head for 20 minutes but I’m TURNT so it’s fine but also I have class in 8 hours so it’s not fine)

Dear Wormwood by The Oh Hellos (HEY again. This song for REAL showed up on shuffle I wasn’t lyin in that book question lower down This Really Exists get on my level)

have u ever had a poem or song written about you?

KIND OF YES ok I post on Facebook relentlessly and one time my dad was late coming home bc whatever and dinner was shrimp fettuccine alfredo like UHHHH YUM so I posted “Make haste father / We must partake of the shrimp fettuccine / Make haste” and my friend who makes music (goodnightgirl on Bandcamp) made a song of it bc she was so inspired I was HONOURED

when was the last time you played the guitar?

In grade 9 social studies class we had an assignment that was to make an album cover and track list about the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms and at the time I wanted to go into film and other Tech Stuff so instead of doing something fuckin normal like writing down “Jingle My Equality” in coloured pencil and calling it a day I kept working over winter break and wrote and recorded 8 songs including the whack-ass instrumentation using only a headset, my laptop, and Audacity. The last couple days of winter break I tried to learn some guitar cords to try and make it sound at least a little alright but I absolutely did not sing in any real key I just fucked around in my closet so that fell through real quick and the strongest instrument backup went to random tooting on my mom’s recorder

I never picked up a guitar again and those songs haunt me to this day

celebrity crush

We All Gay For Jodie Whittaker This Season

a sound you hate and a sound you love

I passionately hate when my neighbour operates his leaf blower

I love the ping sound the custom bot makes during a word war in my regional NaNoWriMo group chat, it triggers something nice and good in my brain bc it always happens when I’m writing words and having fun so even when I think the sound. I’m Good

do you believe in ghosts?

only when I’m on the clock bc my manager can see ghosts and says our Hot Topic is haunted and who am I to argue with that

aliens?

dude hell yeah

do you drive?

dude hell nah

last book you read?

fuckin. I read The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

I’d elaborate but that’d take longer to explain than the guitar story, so TL;DR gay analysis plus folk fanfiction album

worst injury you’ve had?

My friend broke my arm in grade 4 when we went tubing at a birthday party because she’s a speed demon and fell on top of it

any obsessions rn?

H

Don’t @ me

do you try to hold grudges against people who have wronged you?

This is such a weird questionnaire first of all, second of all like no I don’t try but there’s one fucker out there,,, hey brxen.prxnce if u reading this block me on ravelry bitch (theres no k because theyre a doofus plain and simple)

in a relationship?

I sure ain’t but i got some dank fic recs hmu

That’s a wrap I’m tagging anyone who read this and understood what “Dear Wormwood” was referencing and/or if you’ve watched an episode of TJLCE those are tonight’s moods thank you goodnight

[rebelliousbsking-blog]

Go Figure

Ummm.....first one-shot on here. Too much profanity. Also...what’s proofreading..?

I shove my ass onto one of the stools left vacant in this dusty shack of a bar I stumbled upon. My last hunt went haywire and pissed didn’t even begin to explain my feelings. I was downright livid. Those damn Winchesters crashing in like a couple of clowning amateurs. Demons and vampires playing God!? I could’ve had em! A kill like that would’ve put a little weight to my name, I wouldn’t be seen as a joke anymore. DAMMIT! I wave over the bartender and stare him down as he questions my request for ‘Jack. Leave the bottle.”

“Did I fucking stutter?” My drink is placed in front of me soon after. No questions asked.

“I’ll take one too. If she’s willing to share.” Dean. Winchester...I’m seething.

“Come to steal my liquor too, jackass?” And he has the audacity to laugh! Pompous, arrogant, self-centered, pretentious, egotistical-

“You really can’t hate me that much, can you? I mean, we did just save your ass.” I didn’t apologize for the whiskey that went flying in his face. I simply poured another drink and ignored his incomplete cries of shock. Serves him right.

“Look you fat bitch-”

“Don’t make me crush you, Bones. I will very much enjoy, watching you gasp for air. I don’t like you Winchester. Never have, and definitely never will.” As I make my way out of the bar, I’m praying he gets hit by a car.

 It’s two months later I run into Sam, my Kimber micro pressed against his chest, and his Taurus, aimed right between my eyes. He lets out a breath and makes puppy eyes at me. I shoved him out of my way, and keep moving. He moves beside me, as if we’re a team. If it weren’t for the werewolves running about, I would’ve put two silver ones in his perfect fucking face. Sam’s arm flies out and pulls me against his chest, just as one of those howling sons of bitches charges straight towards me, a shot rang out and immediately he’s on my ass.

“What the hell, Y/N!? Where’s your head at!?” I sneer.

“On vacation, planning your murder.” He most definitely doesn’t like my answer. I feel the wall come in to contact with my back and Sam Winchester stands tall looking down at me from a full advantageous foot. I imagine steam rising out from his ears.

“I don’t know why you hate me and Dean-”

“Dean and I.” Never pass up a chance to be a bitch.

           “You’re impossible.”

Just as he releases me another one of those fanged bastards grab him and when I raise my arm to fire, I find myself trapped against the wall again. This time, starring right into the glowing eyes of the monster.

           Multiple loud shots rang out and blood covered my face, all in a matter of seconds. Right on cue, Dean stands in front of me, proud smirk on his also perfect face.

           “Saved your ass twice, suagrtits.”            “Screw you, Winchester. I was fine.” I push at his chest. He doesn’t budge. He laughs at my huff.

           “How in the hell did you get into hunting?” Dean laughs clearly eyeing my various curves and rolls with disgust.

           “I imagine the same way most young hunters did. Cleaning up the messes you two neglect.”’

           “Messes? C’mon now. Me and my brother here, are professionals.”

“Professional asshats, if you ask me.”

“Good thing we didn’t ask then.” Sam thinks he’s got me. My knee goes right into his brother’s crotch and I push the man while he’s down, then proceed to strut my fluffy ass out the stuffy warehouse.

           “Like I said. Screw You!”

 I didn’t even get a week before those fucktards showed up again. This time there’s three of them. Yeah that’s right, they brought the fucking angel. It’s a quick salt and burn job, but now I know I’ve got my work cut out for me.

“Y/N. Nice to see you again.” Fucking angel. I ignore him. He’s a Winchester too, far as I’m concerned. Dean’s griping at me for being rude. Apparently Castiel deserves an “apology” …the fuck is that? And Sam. Little bitch. Agrees, of course. The both get a crisp ‘fuck you, Winchester’

“Oh, eat me, you stupid bitch!” And he’s off again, mile a minute. Then we’re all against the wall.

“Now look what you did!”

“ARE. YOU. SHITTING. ME!? Look what I did!? You goddamn Winchesters always-“

           “Such ugly language for such a pretty mouth. Don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. Any friend of Sammy’s is a friend of mine.” Lucifer is giving this sick, evil smirk. I’m one-hundred percent sure he has x-ray vision or some other perverted powers working on my clothes right now. I give him my best bitch face, definitely not a friend of the fucking Winchesters. Luci here is giving one of his infamous speeches of pure unfiltered arrogance, and I tuned out what feels like hours ago. There’s a bright flash and series of thuds, then I’m hitting the ground. I give the bitch brothers a hard, burning glare, and decide to call this one quits.

           “Quitter!” I don’t have the energy but, fuck you Dean Winchester.

 The next time I ran into the Winchesters, was a bit of a blur. And I’m mature enough to admit that was totally on me and if the Winchesters hadn’t showed up this time…well they did. Of course I kept that to myself and as far as they know I’m still upset with them. But one thing that was one hundred clear to me was waking up in their bunker with a very distressed Dean pacing the floor just a few feet in front of me.

“Why is she like this Sammy? What if we hadn’t got there in time? What if-“

“Dean she’s fine. We got her, she’s okay. I don’t understand why you’re so in love with her.”

“I’m not.” Dean grumbles, finally sitting down. “Why is she still out? I thought you said she’d be okay Sam?”

“I’m awake, just avoiding the bitching that’s coming my way.” I keep my eyes closed for a second before sitting up and looking over the couch at Sam. “So, your brother’s in love with me?”

That was the first time I laughed with a Winchester.

 After the blur incident I stopped running into the Winchesters. The fact that I missed them, was unsettling. They took care of you once Y/N chill out. It lasted for a while. Almost a month actually. Until I needed them again. And damn if I didn’t try to find a way around it. But the old t-shirt I had pressed to my side had soaked up it’s limit and the one eye that wasn’t swollen completely shut began to blur because of all the blood loss and dying in my car wasn’t the badass ending I thought I’d have so...I called Dean. I’m sure he flipped shit, but I think I passed out before he started.

Waking up to Dean pacing the floor has become too common of an occurrence for me, once was definitely enough. So naturally my first move was to get as far away from him as possible. However, my injuries said otherwise. The sharp yelp that fell from my lips pulled Dean out of his trance. He rushed to me and immediately began his nagging.

He was all ‘Y/N, what the hell did you get into?’ and ‘Y/N why didn’t you call us?’ and ‘I knew this would happen to you’.

“Dean I’m fine, plus I did call you. And I’m here and I’m breathing, thanks by the way, and you can stop smothering me now.”

“Dammit I don’t know if I wanna choke you out or-“

“Or what? You need to chill.”

Okay, so usually when I argue with Dean, one of us walks away. Typically when we’re too pissed to keep yelling. Or Sam steps in, sides with his brother, and shuts it all down. Now imagine my surprise when I feel Dean Winchester’s lips pressed against my own, and his large calloused hands framing my shocked face.            Now imagine both of our surprise when I latch onto his dirty flannel and kiss back.

[j-hyvn]

Zodiac Signs Spending Halloween with EXO. . .

Anonymous said: Heey this is kinda weird, but I'm wondering if our could do a zodiac sign and EXO interaction on Halloween (my favorite holiday) I'm an aries, so could you make that one funny? Thanks hun, best blog around town 😘 -aries anon

A/N awww thank you. I had fun with this. I had a little help with who would be compatible with who after looking up their signs. Hope you like Anonie!

Kai Eonni~

♈ Aries: You would be walking down the dark street with Sehun and Lay holding an apple in your hand. "That bitch had the audacity to give me an apple. IMMA THROW IT AT HER FUCKING HOUSE. TEACH HER TO GIVE ME A GOD DAMN APPLE." You and Sehun would silently agree on taking a u-turn to head back to her house while Lay got ready to call Mama Suho to rein you animals in.

|||| |||| ||||

♉ Taurus: You we're sitting on the couch eating the candy you were supposed to be handing out with D.O. when you caught him beginning to unwrap the last Reese's. "Can I have your Reese's cups? I'll trade anything." D.O. gives you a death glare. "Those... Those are my life..." You speak softly.

|||| |||| ||||

♊ Gemini: "Let's make one more round. We'll get double the candy, and it's not like they're gunna call the cops on us." You would say to Suho who sent you a stern look while going to answer his phone call from a panicking Lay.

|||| |||| ||||

♋ Cancer: You would be handing out candy with Kris. Picking up the slack of D.O. and Taurus who refuse. Afterwards you two would snuggle and watch movies while eating the candy you bought earlier.

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♌ Leo: You and Xiumin are out partying against Mama Suho's wishes, from the earlier conversation where you and Xiumin were like, "Fuck trick-or-treating, that shits for babies." That language really upset Mama Suho, however he couldn't babysit you two because he had to keep an eye on Gemini so Gemini wouldn't dump the all the candy in the candy bowls into her bag. And that's how you and Xiumin ended up drunk that night.

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♍ Virgo: You and Kai were the responsible ones, making sure everyone had what they needed before heading out trick-or-treating. However you guys fucked up somewhere along the night when Mama Suho had asked you guys to watch Leo and Xiumin so they wouldn't sneak out. You guys were doing good for like a good half hour when you got a call from a hysterical Lay babbling about Aries and Sehun apple-ing a house. Kai let you deal with that while he made sure that Kris and Cancer we're actually handing out candy and not just watching T.V. that's when the two little assholes Xiumin and Leo snuck out. That's when you and Kai knew you had done fucked up.

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♎ Libra: You'd be a indecisive mess, and would have called Chanyeol to help you out. "It's too cold out, I would need to wear my coat over my costume... But then no one would see it... I could always just Instagram it and then relax here... Or go out... Or..." Chanyeol would roll his eyes. "Lemme guess, or stay here?" This would go on for a good half hour until Virgo forced you and Chanyeol out of the house.

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♏ Scorpio: You'd be fucking with Tao's head all night. "I poisoned your drink..." You'd whisper in Tao's ear as he went to take a sip. Tao would give that 'bitch what?' face. You'd laugh. "Just kidding, just kidding why would I tell you that? I wouldn't." Tao would roll his eyes and resume taking a sip when you couldn't resist yourself and leaned in close to his ear again and whisper. "Or would I?" By the end of the night Tao would be done with your shit.

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♐ Sagittarius: Lmao, you and Chen would be little shits that would scare the life and soul out of the kids. Eventually you guys would get caught and police would bring you home to an angry Mama Suho in his silk robe tapping his foot at 3 a.m.

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♑ Capricorn: You would be lounging on the couch, having joined Kris and Cancer watching a movie. However Luhan has been begging you to join him for trick-or-treating. "Seems like a lot of work for candy I don't even need when I got some right here." You speak motioning to the bowl of candy between you and Cancer. "How about you do it, and I'll take half." You say to Luhan when he begs you for the 100th time that night.

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♒ Aquarius: You would have ran into Aries and Sehun on your round of trick-or-treating. "What's up?" Sehun would ask giving you a smirk. "Really hoping someone fucks up and gives me one of those liquor chocolates this year..."

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♓Pisces: You would have come back from trick-or-treating with Baekhyun. You guys had gotten a big bag of candy corn. "We got everyone some candy cooooooornnn~!" You would cheer holding up for everyone to see. "We know it's gross, but, hey, it's festive." Baekhyun would shrug with an equally big smile like your own while everyone else looks either disgusted or offended, while Sehun scoffs and Suho gives you two a genuine smile, because even though the candy tastes like shit, he's proud to have raised you guys well enough to think of others.

[exculis]

reposting bc im 2 cool 2 reblog

rules: Tag 15 people you wanna know

I was tagged by: @weirdo-in-a-cat-sweater

Name: Gregory. Greg for short. Grego for medium

Gender: boyo

Star sign: mmmbull. Taurus. 

Height: 5 foot 7. sometimes 5 foot 8 on a good day if i stand up straight and my spine decompresses a lil

Sexuality: gay. technically homoflexible but

Lock screen image: same as my blog header

Ever had a crush on a teacher: hhhhh once but he had the audacity to be straight and married

Where would you see yourself in ten years: god,,, who the fuck knows. heres hoping i make it that long cheers boys

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be: idk like scotland maybe. 

Coolest Halloween costume: once i just duct taped my hands and mouth and went as a ‘kidnap victim’ it’s pretty sick and cheap if ur looking for ideas

Favorite 90s show: spongebob bitch fight me about it

Last kiss: ill let u kno if it ever happens

Have you ever been stood up: bold of you to assume someones ever made plans with me

Have you ever been to Los Angeles: god i wish. i heard its pretty gay there

Favorite shoes: shoes are opressive

Favorite fruit: uh. cucumber probably. or uh pomegranates? 

Favorite book: i haven’t read anything since like 2013 so ill just say the host by stephanie meyeer because thats legitimately the only book i can even remember ever reading

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: made a tumblr account hbbhbhdhbahdjh no but probably it was when i swung my phone around by the pop socket and fucking cracked it to death on the sidewalk rip samsung you were a real one

i don’t tag anyone because i have severe anxiety and i dont want yall thinking im obnoxious. feel free to say i tagged you tho if you do this