#and you do! and i'm not qualified to help fix them! and i need you to talk to people who can!

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

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[endzithefangirl]

"I'm gong to put 'being a WAG' on my CV" part 2

Authors note: The part 2 of this to celebrate Maxie winning the Brazil GP! Sorry it took so long, your girl is a STEM student, life got busy. Also now you know the inspo for the TechCEO!Reader.....

Summary: You come with Max to the Brazil GP to see many things: a win, an engineer.... and to have a long chat about Alexa....

Warnings: English isn't my first language, no use of Y/N, female reader, famous reader, swearing, also slight jabs at Max's dad and a few others...

Word count: 2.9k

It was the first race you had come to watch in a while. You desperately wanted to attend the one in Austin, but you got stuck in New York for work. But here you are, in Brazil, being driven to the paddock at 6:30 am for a delayed qualifying session that was probably going to be in the rain. You were worried about many things: the fans, your looks, the fact that Max's dad was going to be there, and the possibility that Max's ex-girlfriend might also be there, although Max reassured you that they were on friendly enough terms where it wouldn't be a problem.

Also, Max winning. He hasn't won since, like, April. He's been doing better recently, but he still hasn't won. And Norris was getting closer and closer to that number one spot. It was an incredibly chaotic morning. In that pre-qualifying session, Max was doing everything to avoid a repeat of the weekend before. On top of that, he was trying to end a months-long winless streak.

Great.

"Well, at least I brushed my hair today..." you mumble, looking at yourself in the phone camera. You still didn't know how to dress like a WAG. You were wearing jeans, the Red Bull jacket Max got you a while ago, some boots for the rain, and your hair down and brushed, which for you is a big thing. You also put on concealer. Miracle.

You were incredibly sexy to Max, though. Unfortunately, you both knew his father and the fashion police on social media might disagree. He didn’t mind, though. He actually preferred you didn’t wear a high-fashion, tight dress. It would have just been a distraction, not to mention, he wouldn’t see you in anything but a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants in the flat anyway.

"Did you know," you say, trying to make conversation to distract from the anxiety, "that your engineer Michael and I went to college together?"

"Really?" he asks, genuinely surprised. If he was honest, he had no idea what the engineers were like outside of their job. The rain was coming down harder, hitting like stones against the windshield.

"Yeah. So, if he got into MIT, he must be good."

Max chuckles, nodding as he looks at the road in front of him for a bit. His engineer was good, but then again, Red Bull didn’t hire anyone but the best and the brightest from the top of the class. He needed people who could handle the race and perform well under pressure. Suddenly, Max turns to you.

"Remind me again, who graduated top of the class at MIT?"

"Allen Chen..." you say, confused.

He laughs loudly before turning back to the road, his eyes fixed ahead once more. He was impressed that you didn’t even have to think for a second before listing them. That was very much like you.

"God, you’re a nerd..." he mutters affectionately with a smile.

"Says you," you laugh. "It's really raining, huh?"

Seeing your reaction to his little joke made him feel all warm inside. Knowing your sense of humor, you had absolutely no idea what you were doing to him. It was also making Max forget about the race, but at this point, he knew it was a rain delay anyway. "Yeah. Feels like we're in a carwash."

"Well, as a big enjoyer of the laws of physics, the best advice I can give you is to go slow on the turns but speed up when going uphill... There is an uphill, right?"

Max actually paused and turned back to you with a grin. It’s funny how you can switch him from hot to cold so swiftly. He still wasn’t convinced you weren’t doing it on purpose. But he couldn’t help but be amused and also impressed. "There are two hill sections, yeah. You sure you never thought of becoming a race engineer instead of becoming a nerdy billionaire?"

"I was gonna be one, but I had to drop out of college, you know, to run the company."

"You had to?" he said with an amused smirk. Max was well aware of the fact that you could buy out the entire campus if you wanted to. But he’d be lying if he said your workaholic tendencies didn’t slightly concern him.

"I tried, but it was really hard. And also, I had to move to New York—"

"Babe, you can run your business in every country imaginable and you’re telling me attending one university was too much?" Max knew he was being a smartass about it. This was more than just the workaholic in you, though. You were also a very stubborn creature, to say the least.

"Okay, I just went to college to get the visa, there, I said it. You happy?"

He chuckles, the car coming to a halt as you arrive at the paddock. The rain is hitting the sides of the car loudly. Max turns to you with a playful smirk. "See, was that so hard? But I’m happy if you’re happy, babe."

You walk out, people with umbrellas waiting for you. There were people taking your pictures as you walk into the Red Bull garage. You introduce yourself to everyone new, and a few of the engineers want pictures with you.

"Hey, we went to MIT together," you say to Michael.

"You remember?" he says, shocked.

"Of course I do," you say before Max pulls you to walk back to the driver’s area.

Max had been watching you talk to the engineer and the others with a faint smile on his face. You had been able to charm all of them within 30 seconds. It wasn’t particularly surprising, but he was still amused. He didn’t think many people realized just how captivating you were.

When you’re done talking to Michael, Max takes you to the Red Bull garage.

"That was easy. How did you make friends with my mechanics so fast?" he asks with a small chuckle.

"You might be a legend to regular people, but I'm a legend to nerds."

"Do I want to know how that happened?" he asks, amused. He knew you had always been incredibly smart and talented, but he had no idea you actually had a bit of a nerd fandom attached to you.

"I’m running a billion-dollar tech company," you say, shrugging.

He looks at you for a moment, his eyes wide. He always somehow keeps forgetting that you’re a goddamn genius. Because whenever he looks at you, he can only think how goddamn beautiful you are.

And yet you say stuff like that as if it’s normal.

You kiss his cheek. "I'll leave you to go ride fast. I'm gonna see if Michael will let me sit with them during quali." Max smirks as you say it before you kiss his cheek. He’d always found your ability to go from incredibly sexy to super nerdy to be insanely attractive. It was one of the things that made him fall in love with you in the first place.

"Sure thing, nerd. Have fun." Max jokes before giving you a kiss on the forehead.

You stayed with the engineers during quali, both because it was super interesting and also to avoid Max's dad in the front of the garage.

And then the rain fucked it all up.

All up.

Max was out of Q2.

He was 17th.

You all saw him and his dad raging in the front of the garage.

The whole quali was a mess, with so many crashes, slips, and generally poor driving in the heavy rain and fog.

As Max got out of the car, soaked and drenched from the rain, he slams the door shut in sheer anger. This whole quali was a shitshow from start to finish. So many poor decisions, so much poor driving. He wasn’t even the worst offender. And he was still only P17. In the garage, he could still hear his dad going on a rage, but he just couldn’t. Max was too annoyed and frustrated to listen.

"Well, that was shit," you say, turning around to Max from where you were sitting.

He didn’t even notice you were nearby until he heard your voice. He turned around to look at you, his hair and shirt completely soaked from rain and sweat. But he couldn’t help but smile at your comment.

“That’s putting it lightly��”

"They definitely fucked you all up with that delayed yellow flag," you say, taking off the headphones and walking over to him slowly. "Save my seat for the race, guys."

He’s about to open his mouth to answer when he finally notices the headphones around your neck and realizes you had actually been in the garage the whole time. Despite how bad the day had been so far, he’s still very impressed that you’re here in the garage and not in some skybox with champagne in your glass. As you come closer, Max can’t help but wrap his arms around your waist and pull you close, not caring how soaked he is.

You hug him back. "It's fine. At least you didn't crash like some of them. Take a breather and then you'll do great at the race later." You take a Snickers out of your pocket. "Calm down now. You're not yourself when you're hungry. Here, eat a Snickers."

He raises an eyebrow as he sees you take out a Snickers from your pocket. It wasn’t the most normal thing to have in a pocket, but somehow it wasn’t surprising at all. It was definitely very you. He also couldn’t help but think that you were probably the type of person to carry emergency snacks around in case anyone was hungry.

“How many of those do you have on you?”

"A few. They're for you if you want them. You know I'm a Mars person," you say, showing him the inner pocket of the Red Bull jacket he got you.

He smirked slightly. The fact that you were so casually admitting to carrying around a little bag of Snickers for him was hilarious. But knowing how much you care and how much you want to make sure he’s doing okay, it wasn’t actually that surprising at the same time.

“Of course you are… Can I have another one?”

He unwraps the second one and pops it into his mouth, chewing on it slowly as he looks at you. Max takes a seat in the chair behind him, his legs spread wide as he leans back, exhausted.

“…come here…” he says, pulling you to sit on his lap. You blink as you realize what he wanted.

He looks at you with a pleading look in his eyes. He usually wouldn’t ask for something like this because he knows you weren’t the type for public displays of affection in the slightest. But for some reason, he was feeling particularly needy, and he knew you would most likely not refuse if he looked at you this way.

He’s surprised at how easy it was to convince you, but it probably has to do with how terrible this weekend has been and how miserable he looks. Or maybe you’re just extra nice today. Who knows…

As you sit on his lap, the other engineers laugh.

"That's right. I know how to code and I get laid," you say, making them all laugh. "You should go have lunch and then be ready for the race."

He hums in agreement. He knew you were right, but he was still very reluctant to let go of you now that he’d finally gotten you to sit with him. He’s well aware that the others are probably still watching you.

“One kiss, please?”

You roll your eyes and give him a quick kiss. You ruffle his helmet hair as you stand up. "Go."

“See you after the race?”

You nod and wink. Max’s heart skips a beat as you wink at him, and he gives you a small smirk in response. There was something insanely attractive about your confidence and how well you handled yourself in this environment.

Before the race, you came to the front of the garage to wish Max good luck. You saw him talking to his dad in Dutch. "Hey, just wanted to say good luck," you say from the door.

His dad noticed you first as you came in from behind Max. Both Max and his dad turn to look at you, Max’s features immediately softening as he sees you. He had to hold himself back from just immediately coming up and giving you a hug… his dad was standing literally next to him… He takes a deep breath, his voice still sounding a bit tense and nervous as he looks at you with a forced smile. “Thanks, babe… Thanks for coming…”

"I'll be with the engineers. Just be calm; it's gonna be a good race regardless."

Jos, Max's dad, nods at you politely. You smile at them both and then leave.

Max watches you leave, his smile turning much more genuine right after. He really did get lucky, being able to be with such an amazing person. Even his dad seemed to acknowledge it with a respectful nod in your direction.

Max looks at his dad, taking a breath as he can somehow feel a lecture coming.

".....Ik denk dat als je het uit moet maken met de dochter van een drievoudig wereldkampioen... Je hebt haar in ieder geval vervangen door iemand die heel rijk is...." his dad said.

Max looks at Jos, his face already turning into a frown as he starts his little speech. He already had his suspicions as to where this is going, but he knew he won’t be able to stop him anyway, so he just listens.

"...... Ze is een beetje raar. Maar... Niet de slechtste die je hebt uitgekozen..... Denk je dat zij mij kan helpen met het installeren van het volledige camera-AI-systeem op mijn nieuwe plek?"

The question takes him off guard a bit. He didn’t expect his dad to actually say something like that at all. He looks at him for a moment, his expression conflicted. On one hand, he didn’t like the idea that his dad wants to ask you something like this. On the other hand, he’s well aware that you would excel at something like that… “I wouldn’t be surprised…”

Max won the race. After a red flag and on-and-off rain, Max was the winner of the Brazil GP after a 10-race no-win streak. You run to the barrier with Christian, the Red Bull team principal, cheering with the team as Max comes into the garage. Max parks the car in the garage, exhausted by the long and hard race, but elated by the victory. He gets out of the car, helmet in hand, as he walks up to the rest of the Red Bull team, adrenaline still running through his veins. He looks around at everyone, giving them all some high-fives and handshakes as he walks through the garage. But he’s most excited to see you, standing by the side, cheering together with Christian.

Max immediately makes his way towards you and Christian. He gives the team principal a high-five, but his main focus is on you, of course. He looks at you with a tired but joyful smile as he finally comes up to you.

“Hey there…”

"Whoooo! That was one hell of a race!

He wraps his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly, not even caring that he got you all drenched with rain and sweat. “That it was…” He gives you a quick kiss before going to do the post-match interview and then into the cooldown room.

As he stood on the podium, you cheered loudly from the bottom.

"Hey there champ," you say, coming through the door of the trailer a bit later. "We were thinking of dinner? And by we I mean your dad and I.... He has an Alexa?" you say, confused.

Max looks up from his phone, his face brightening almost instantly as he saw you in the doorway. His eyebrows raise in surprise at the mention of his father. Though he supposed it wasn’t really a surprise, the two of them were supposed to go out to dinner together after all.

“An Alexa?” Max asks, a look of bewilderment on his face.

"He asked me if I could set him up an AI house helper, and I was like, 'an Alexa?'"

Max nods and shakes his head, amused, a little chuckle leaving his lips at the thought of his father coming up to you with those kinds of requests.

“You’re gonna have to be careful, he’ll be asking you to install a whole AI security system in his house next…”

"....he does know my corporation is a partial owner of Ring cameras, right?"

“Maybe we should keep that little fun fact secret from him for now…”

You hug him tightly, more intimately as he stands up. He hugs you back, his arms sneaking around your waist to hold you tight against his body.

“Could you do me a favor?”

"What do you need? An Alexa?"

[20dollarlolita]

I've just got to vent for a quick second, because this has been driving me insane. I work at a place that sells sewing machines and does sewing machine repair, and sometimes people will come in and aggressively complain that their machine is a lemon.

Sorry, to properly convey it, their machine is, "A LEMON!!!"

And I can't respond to that the way I want to when I'm at work, but that's what this rant is for. People seem to think they've found some amazing, special secret word that gets them whatever they want.

But, in the state that I'm in, "lemon" isn't just a concept. When something is a lemon, there's laws governing what people have to do to make things right. In terms of products (not to be confused with terms of produce), there is a legal definition of what a lemon is, and it actually doesn't cover most "this is a lemon!!" situations that I run into.

So, what needs to happen to qualify a sewing machine as a lemon? Disclaimer, I'm not a lawyer, but I've been sued before, and told I look good in a suit, and also I use Duckduckgo to verify things before I write these things. I'm going to go a bit out of order here, because it's an order that makes the most sense to me, so please read all this before writing back to me to tell me I'm stupid.

What problems make something qualify as a lemon?

Is has to be a problem that compromises the use, value, or safety of the machine. If you can't make an argument that your problem interferes with one of those three things, it's not a lemon.

It has to be a problem that is covered under the manufacturer's warranty, and the problem has to show up during the time that the warranty covers the machine. If your warranty was 1 year on this part and the problem showed up at 1.75 years, it's broken and needs fixing, but it's not a lemon.

It cannot be caused by unreasonable or unauthorized use. Sorry, your manufacturer does not consider you sewing sliced ham to a piece of 20 gauge vinyl to be a reasonable use. Putting 2 million stitches on a machine in 6 months is not a reasonable use. Letting your cat use your machine in lieu of a litter box is not reasonable use. Storing trail mix in your bobbin area is not reasonable use.

In addition to these three things, it needs to have repeat attempts to repair it. That's four repairs of the same problem, or two repairs of a problem if it's a problem that can cause death or serious injury. I challenge most people to find a problem that can cause death or serious injury in a modern sewing machine used in a reasonable, authorized way. Anyway, moving on. The item in question also needs to be in for repair for 30 days, though those do not need to be continuous days.

It also doesn't matter how many different problems the machine has. It's got to be the same problem, unable to be fixed, repeatedly, to qualify as a lemon. If you have thirty problems that all have been failed to be fixed 3 times, legally, not a lemon. If you have over 900 problems that have all happened one time, sadly, not a lemon. This is probably one of the things people get wrong most of the time.

If your device fills all of these categories (serious problem, under warranty, no unreasonable use of the machine, repeated attemtps to repair the same problem), then the manufacturer needs to replace it or offer you a refund. Your dealer and your repair shop have no responsibility, except to put you in contact with the manufacturer. Your dealer does not replace your machine. Your dealer does not refund you. Your repair shop does not refund you. The manufacturer is responsible. This doesn't mean that a good dealer won't help you with talking with the manufacturer or even speak to the manufacturer on your behalf. It's just that the dealer is not legally responsible for it. "Legally responsible" and "being helpful because that's good customer service and we want to help you," are distinct concepts.

If your machine is replaced, and you have new problems with the new one, you have to fulfill the lemon requirements again. Four more repair attempts, problem under warranty, no unreasonable use, etc. The fact that the previous item was a lemon doesn't actually matter anymore, legally. That's annoying as hell and massively painful and I'm sorry about that, but it's the fact. If you got a new machine and it immediately had the same problem, I'm sorry, but it has to be failed to be fixed four times on your new machine before you get to proceed with the lemon shit again.

Oh, and the number one reason why sewing machines bought into my work, labeled "lemon!!" by their owners, are not actually legally lemons: in the State of California, lemon laws only apply to cars. I've been carefully saying "machine" instead of "sewing machine," because literally nothing that we've talked about applies to sewing machines at all.

So if you come in and say it's a lemon, because you want to communicate that you're very frustrated by a lot of problems out of the box, we know what you mean. But if you're doing what a lot of these people are doing, which is coming in brandishing the word "lemon," because you're thinly veiling a threat to pursue legal action, sorry, you just don't have a legally-defined lemon.

And also, again, if the lemon laws DID apply to sewing machines, lemon issues are done with the manufacturer, not your dealer or your repair shop. We're going to do everything we can to help you, because we're above all in the customer service business, but you don't need to try to threaten us with laws that don't apply.

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Broken Circuits

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader , Oscar Piatri x Fem!reader, Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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The paddock was alive with the familiar buzz of anticipation as mechanics made last-minute adjustments and engineers hunched over their laptops, analyzing data. It was a scene I had grown accustomed to, yet today, the excitement felt like a distant echo. Logan had been struggling all season, and with each race, his frustration had grown.

Standing by the Williams garage, I watched as Logan stepped out of the car after qualifying. His face was a mask of disappointment, and I knew from the slump of his shoulders that he had once again qualified last. My heart ached for him. He had worked so hard, dedicated every ounce of his energy to this sport he loved, and yet, the results just weren't coming.

"Hey," I said softly as he approached. "You'll get them next time. I believe in you."

He didn't respond, just walked past me with a curt nod. I followed him, trying to offer some comfort. "Logan, please talk to me."

He spun around, eyes flashing with anger. "What do you want me to say, Y/N? That I'm fine? That it's okay? Because it's not! I'm sick of losing!"

I took a step back, shocked by the intensity of his outburst. "I know it's hard, but I'm here for you. We'll get through this together."

He laughed bitterly, running a hand through his hair. "You don't get it, do you? I don't need you to tell me it'll be okay. I need results. I need to stop being a joke on this grid."

"You're not a joke," I insisted, reaching out to touch his arm. He pulled away, the hurt in his eyes cutting me to the core.

"Just leave me alone, Y/N. I can't deal with this right now," he snapped.

I felt a lump form in my throat, tears stinging my eyes. "Logan, please don't shut me out. I love you, and I want to help."

"Help? How can you help?" His voice was rising, drawing the attention of a few team members nearby. "You can't make me faster. You can't change anything. Just stop trying to fix this!"

His words hit me like a physical blow, and I felt my vision blur as tears finally spilled over. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I just want to be here for you."

Logan's face softened for a moment, but then the anger returned. "You know what? Maybe you're the problem. Every time you're here, I don't get good results. Maybe you're bad luck."

The words hung in the air, heavy and painful. I couldn't believe he had just said that. "Logan, you don't mean that."

"Maybe I do," he said coldly. "Maybe I regret ever giving you a chance. Maybe I hate you. Maybe we should just break up."

I stood there, stunned, as he walked away. My heart shattered into pieces, the pain of his rejection overwhelming. I turned and walked away, the tears streaming down my face. I found a quiet corner near the back of the paddock, sinking to the ground and hugging my knees to my chest. The sounds of the busy racetrack faded into the background as I let myself cry, the hurt and confusion washing over me.

"Y/N?" a familiar voice called softly. I looked up to see Oscar standing there, his expression filled with concern.

"Oscar," I managed to say through my tears. "He said... he said he regrets ever giving me a chance. He said he hates me and... he broke up with me."

Oscar knelt beside me, pulling me into a comforting hug. "He doesn't mean it, Y/N. Logan's just frustrated. He's under so much pressure, and he's taking it out on the person he cares about the most."

"But it hurts," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I thought we were a team."

"You are," Oscar said gently. "When you're not around, Logan's always wishing you were. He loves you, Y/N. He's just lost right now."

We sat there in the fading light, Oscar's presence a small comfort in the midst of my heartbreak. After a while, he stood up, offering me his hand. "Come on, let's get you somewhere more comfortable."

I nodded, taking his hand and letting him lead me away. As we walked, I saw Logan in the distance, his expression conflicted. Oscar's grip on my hand tightened as we passed him, a silent promise that he would take care of me.

Later that evening, as the paddock quieted down, Oscar found Logan in the team's hospitality area. "We need to talk," he said firmly, his usual easygoing demeanor replaced by a steely resolve.

Logan looked up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with regret. "Oscar, I—"

"No," Oscar interrupted. "You don't get to apologize to me. You need to fix this with Y/N. You hurt her, Logan. You pushed away the one person who's always been there for you."

Logan hung his head, the weight of his actions crashing down on him. "I know. I was an idiot. I let my frustration get the better of me, and I took it out on her. I need to make it right."

"You do," Oscar agreed. "But it's not going to be easy. She's really hurt, Logan. You're going to have to work hard to earn her trust back."

Logan nodded, determination replacing the regret in his eyes. "I will. I'll do whatever it takes."

The next day, I was in my hotel room, still trying to process everything that had happened, when there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Logan standing there, looking more vulnerable than I had ever seen him.

"Y/N," he began, his voice shaking. "I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I never should have said those things. I don't hate you. I love you more than anything."

I looked at him, the pain still fresh in my heart. "Logan, you really hurt me. I don't know if I can just forgive you like that."

"I understand," he said, taking a step closer. "But please, give me a chance to make it right. I promise I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back."

I hesitated, the memories of his hurtful words still lingering. But I also remembered the good times, the love and support we had shared. "Okay," I said finally. "I'll give you a chance. But you have to prove to me that you mean it. You have to earn my trust back."

Logan nodded, his eyes filled with determination. "I will, Y/N. I promise."

As we stood there, the weight of the past few days slowly lifting, I realized that love wasn't always easy. It was messy and complicated, filled with highs and lows. But as long as we were willing to fight for it, to work through the pain and come out stronger on the other side, it was worth it.

---

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[snapeaddict]

A teacher's trick

For @mmad-lover <3

"I must say, I was quite surprised. The level of precision was that of a third-year; and it was brewed by an average student at best, Miss Ladislaw. Clearly, the discussion we had two weeks ago made a lasting impression. The girl has potential, and it pains me to admit it as I usually have a keen nose for those students with probable skills - I shall keep a close eye on her."

Minerva smirked slightly, although her expression also had something of that motherly fondness one finds in older people's faces as they listen to naive statements from their younger counterparts. That particular smile did not last long, however. She knew Severus would not appreciate what he would qualify as a "patronising attitude" - or what was it that he had said last time? - "ageist condescension". She had not taken it well; then Albus had looked at her with the very same expression, and told her she should know better than to lecture someone who was no longer a student. His amused eyes above the half-moon glasses, the slightly raised eyebrows... yes, Severus might have had a point after all. He was 24 already...

"And what is it that you told Miss Ladislaw two weeks ago?" she asked, her tone as neutral as could be.  

The Potions Master slightly shrugged his shoulders.  

"Merely that I thought she could achieve a satisfactory grade if she applied herself, and that her needing to work harder than some of her classmates for the same results should not hinder her from trying."

Minerva smiled again, then immediately took a sip from her teacup to hide it, pursing her lips.  

"Well, it makes perfect sense." She couldn't help herself.

Severus raised an eyebrow.  

"You told the girl you believed she could do well. You might as well have given that kind of student a bottle of Felix Felicis - it yields the same results."

"We are talking about a student who successfully brewed a Wiggenweld potion, not a Draught of Living Death."

"You understand my meaning."

Severus sighed, although he bowed his head slightly.

"We cannot go about telling every student such things hoping it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I would not have said it to half of them. If I had, it would not have been more than a white lie. All I can do is make sure they pass - I am no miracle worker."

"Oh, I don't know. It seems to be exactly what those new educative methods are about... you know, from the last board meeting. I thought..." She stared at him, then looked away, lowering her eyes. "I thought I could certainly incorporate some of them into my teaching. Be a bit more mindful. I am rather old-school, I'm afraid."

Severus kept looking at her. Then he simply replied, well after she had averted her gaze:

"We cannot be parents, Professor."

Minerva wondered if his momentary defeated expression had more to do with the immensity of the task at hand - to work at Hogwarts, one had better not gauge the assignment too closely - or with his own mixed feelings towards teaching. She thought it a little paradoxical how unforgiving he was with regard to academics, while he would go out of his way to try and fix things he could never fix, like broken homes and intra-student hierarchy. He was, it had to be said, an unforgiving teacher and a surprisingly supportive Head of House; Albus would certainly provide a satisfactory analysis for such behaviour, although a little too Lacanian to her liking.  

She poured him another cup of tea, which he accepted with a slightly embarrassed nod of the head. The friendliness between them was new and ever fragile. In its present state, it was a succession of extended hands quickly taken away when glares of suspicion, or the occasional snide remark, emerged again.

But she was trying, truly. This evening, she had originally planned, was to further their mutually beneficial relationship.

"You should not be so reluctant to make use of that Pygmalion effect, you know, Severus. It did yield great results with you."

He stared at her, looking genuinely surprised.  

"With me?" he repeated, the intonation quite unlike him.  

"If you recall, you were not very fond of Transfiguration as a boy."

"I shall make no comment on the subject."

His voice was rather cold.  

"You need not justify yourself", Minerva replied gently. This time, she held his gaze. "I know you had your reasons, all of them justified."

You did not feel safe, she wanted to add, but she said nothing. As usual, another thought rushed to complete the former - does that justify anything?  

She knew he would never claim that it did; although they had never brushed the subject, Albus had made no indication that the boy made any connection at all between the bullying, and his joining You-Know-Who. No, it was her; she made a connection. She saw a pattern, some kind of single path he was made to follow, perhaps a personal failure. It was in her nature to self-scrutinise when and only when she formed a bound - empathy enabled introspection as readily as dislike blinded her to any conclusions she might have previously drawn.

She was startled when he spoke:

"Not all of them, no."

She looked at him confusedly.  

"I beg your pardon?"  

"Not all my reasons for disliking Transfiguration were sound", Severus elaborated, smirking slightly.

She stared at him for a second. It was as if he had guessed...?  

"It was too much like muggle magic", he continued, purposely ignoring her expression. "Put a poor rabbit in a black hat; it is transformed into a dove. The coin disappears and reappears. You pull out metres of tissue from the magician's pocket. It seemed to me this was all that this was - magic tricks."

This time, Minerva was fully shaken out of her daze. She looked frankly scandalised.

"Magic tricks!" she repeated, her right hand on her heart. "Tricks!"  

Severus seemed to enjoy her half-genuine, half-theatrical display of indignation. He continued, sipping his tea with exaggerated nonchalance:

"I thought it horrendously inelegant. Turning animals into glassware while we brewed potions the colour of the starry sky... While we learnt to bottle things without essence... "

"I beg your pardon, no matter how you put it, it still is soup you are making down there", she cut sharply.

The Slytherin narrowed his eyes. "Now, Professor, you do not want me as your enemy", he said slowly, putting down his cup in the middle of the English porcelain before him.  

"Oh, but I do", Minerva replied in a syrupy tone. She put down her own cup with every bit of nonchalance he had just displayed. "Potions are just large soups. That is, boiling water with things you put inside of it."

"Transfiguration is but a distraction for children at a garden birthday party."

"... While their parents bake the birthday cake by throwing ingredients into a big bowl in the right order, which is what you do, if I am not mistaken."

Severus raised his eyebrows, now looking amused and somewhat surprised. He thought of a few bitting comebacks - some that he would not have shied away from using a few years later - but hesitated for a second. This was, after all, still his former professor...  

"Well, Severus? I am sure you of all people have a witty reply to offer. You are a man of many talents."

This was enough to stimulate a formidable combination of those replies he was pondering upon - something to do with Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration, its first principle, the impossibility of conjuring up food, the birthday cake, screaming children, ethical considerations about vanishing said children, and a muffling draught. He was about to speak; then, Minerva's words reached him fully. "You are a man of many talents."

He closed his mouth, smiled slightly, then nodded, all without a word.  

You are a boy of many talents, Severus. Be sure to remember this next class.  

"Pygmalion effect", Minerva said, leaning back in her seat. She clasped her fingers, smiling pensively. "You did so well that next Monday. You transformed that match into such a beautiful flower - truly the most remarkable one I had ever seen. I brought it to Pomona, I remember. She said it looked like a Lotus, Bleeding Heart, and Edelweiss had been bred together; it did not exist. It was a pure product of your imagination."

Severus frowned, although more from concentration than annoyance.  

"I barely remember".  

"You got an O. I cannot tell you how frustrated I was that you only got an E for your O.W.Ls. The only one! Nine 'Outstandings' in all other subjects!"  

Severus gave her an ironic look.  

"I am sorry to have disappointed".  

She rolled her eyes. "Do not put words into my mouth. Look", she added, getting up and circumventing her armchair, "I even took a picture."

She pulled out a drawer from the nearby buffet, then searched through its content for a few seconds, smoothly retrieving a mid-size, cardboard-like paper which she handed to him. Carefully, Severus lowered it down on his knees.

On the top right corner, in green ink, the words "Mr Snape - 1972" were written in the neat, strict handwriting that he had known since his first year, although usually in red. Somewhat clumsily this time - for whatever reason - he turned the paper over. It was, indeed, a picture: that of the flower he vaguely remembered, but now could study plainly, with its long petals and queer tear-shaped extensions right at their extremities. It looked more alien than beautiful, but that was not what his mind was occupied with. Rather, his black eyes scrutinised the background in the picture, clearly that of Minerva's personal desk, which had not changed much since then. His eyes went from the picture to the desk, dimly lit by a few candles at this time of the evening.  

"I wish it could have lasted longer", Minerva said softly, still standing by his side. She had followed his gaze. "It is one of the tragedies of transfiguration - nothing lasts forever."

For a few moments, Severus could not speak. Minerva put a hand on the back of his armchair, looking at him expectantly.

With difficulty, he gathered himself, and finally cleared his throat.  

"I was merely thinking... thinking that if you were to cast a combination of Epoximise and Orchideous spells, and I to brew an Elixir and Revigorating Draught, all of this put to use at regular intervals - it could potentially keep such a flower intact."

Minerva raised her eyebrows, her interest fully sparked. She turned around, searched through the buffet drawer once more, and placed a match in front of him. Her wand was out.

"Brilliant, Severus. What do you say I perform some tricks, and you bring over some soup, so that I can give you another O?

[whumpbug]

this little fic is heavily heavily inspired by this post from @whump-kia because i just couldnt get the idea out of my silly brain so i brain vomited onto my notes app

context →

kinda sorta wilderness/sci-fi/apocolypse setting.. it honestly could go all ways but the important factors are 1) they are in a team 2) there are enemies they are on the run from and 3) there isnt really magic healing or anything available

i wrote it as medic kinda being the most competent one in general while leader and teammate are frazzled as hell at the situation and could be read as newer to the team but that isn't necessarily my intention!

whumpee: Medic

caretaker(s): Leader and Teammate

[all characters gender neutral]

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

The room fell silent. All eyes were suddenly trained on Medic who threw open the door and staggered in.

With a dagger wedged in their side.

The team had been on the run from enemies for the better part of a week now. Even though they weren't completely in the clear, the team was completely worn out. They all needed a good rest.

They were setting up camp at one of their many bases, and Medic offered to scout the area alone. Leader honestly didn’t think it was a good idea, but they were too preoccupied to think to argue it further.

Now, they sincerely wished they had.

“Medic.. oh god, oh god” whispered Teammate.

“Ambush,” They explained. “It’s.. it’s okay, I took care of it..” Medic replied cooly, but the color was quickly draining from their face. Teammate frowned and continued questioning them, but Leader heard none of it.

Leader took a shaky breath, but their feet were planted. They couldn’t move. They were frozen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. No, Medic was untouchable. Medic was steadfast and reliable, always there when the team needed them.

Medic wasn’t supposed to go out like this. Medic wasn’t supposed to get hurt.

Leader’s breathing hitched again. Their head was reeling. What were they going to do?! No one on the team was qualified to fix this other than the person dripping blood all over the floor, yet it was still Leader’s job to do something. It was too much, it was too—

“Leader.”

Medic’s voice cut through the room like a knife through butter.

“I need you to listen to me. Carefully. Can you do that?”

Leader swallowed the lump in their throat. They nodded.

Medic took another step forward, only for their foot to catch on the ground, sending them stumbling forward. Teammate caught them by the upper arm and unceremoniously lowered them to the ground.

“Alright,” Medic began. Their face was scrunched up in pain. “Leader. I’m going to walk you through how to fix this, okay? I'm going to be fine.”

“Right. Right, I can help you.. just- just tell me what to do.” Leader said, forcing their voice to remain steady.

“Do you see that fire poker over there? I’m going to need you to grab it and stick the end of it into the fire. We want it to get really hot, okay?” Medic explained methodically.

If it weren’t for the blade sticking out of Medic’s middle, you’d think there was nothing even wrong with them. They seemed like everything was under control. They really seemed fine.

But not to their team.

No, their team didn’t miss Medic’s pallor, the way their eyebrows were pinched together, the way the sweat was beading on their brow. Their team didn’t miss the way their hands were trembling, the way their gaze was glassy, and the way they were slumped against the wall, seemingly sapped of their strength.

Medic was fighting to hold on, but it was a losing battle. They really didn’t have much time before they passed out from blood loss, or worse.

Leader’s resolve came back to them all at once. They nodded sharply and did as they were told, sticking the poker into the fire and leaving it on the hearth. While the team waited anxiously for the poker to heat up, Leader took the opportunity to adjust Medic into a more comfortable position against the wall. This earned a strangled grunt from Medic.

“Okay, Leader.. this.. this is important. Once that poker gets red-hot, you’re.. you’re going to have to pull out the blade from my wound and cauterize it.. immediately.” They choked out, shifting to give Leader a better view of their abdomen.

Leader’s face blanched.

“Cauterize?? Why not sutures? Surely that’s less painful,” Leader protested, only to be shushed by Medic raising their hand.

“I don’t have.. I can’t stay awake to walk you through that.. cau.. cauterization is.. quicker..”

Leader could tell Medic was reaching their limit. The wound, despite being partially plugged by the dagger, had been steadily dripping blood for a while now. Leader could tell by the way Medic’s voice was faltering and the way their shoulders were drooping that they were utterly spent. They had to hurry up.

Leader glanced at the fire poker, and upon seeing it burning hot, they grabbed a towel and picked it up.

“Alright. What’s next.”

Medic steeled their nerves and spoke.

“You and Teamate will have to work together. Leader, you’ll.. you’ll need to pull out the dagger and immediately press the poker along th.. the wound.. As soon as you pull it out, it’s going to start bleeding even faster.. you need to seal it immediately, just until the bleeding stops..”

Leader nods, though they hate this with every fiber of their being. They’ve never had to have had a wound cauterized before, thanks to Medic’s dilligency. Still, they know the procedure is agonizing and not one they are thrilled to perform on Medic.

Medic gaze flits to Teammate.

“You.. you have a very important job.. I need.. I’m gonna need you to hold me down. As soon as that metal hits my skin, I’m going to scream. I mean really scream. I’m also going to jerk away. I need you to hold me down, no.. no matter what happens, even if I pass out, so Leader doesn’t end up making the wound worse. Can you do that?”

Teammate frowns, but gives a quick nod. Teammate was always more timid, but now, in this moment, their jaw was set and there was a determined glint in their eyes. By God, they were going to help Medic.

Leader got up and sat on Medic’s legs to restrain them, and held the fire poker at their side. Using their free hand they gently grasped the handle of the blade sticking out of Medic, careful not to jostle it in the wound. Still, Medic inhaled sharply.

Teammate got behind Medic looping their arms behind theirs and holding them tight.

“Alright.. just.. just give me a count down..” Medic said, their voice low.

Leader nodded.

“3.”

Medic sucked in a breath.

“2.”

Teammate tightened their grip.

“1.”

Everything that happened after that countdown couldn’t have been more than 10 seconds, but to Medic, it felt like 10 years.

As soon as the dagger was removed, Leader pressed the hot metal into the wound. The guttural scream that tore from Medic’s throat was nausea-inducing.

Immediately, every muscle in their body seized up as they violently thrashed against the white-hot pain. Medic’s sobs rang out through the entire facility. Everyone in the vicinity flinched at the sound.

Their Medic, their savior, was now reduced to gut-wrenching cries.

Leader adjusted themself to sit on Medic’s thighs, effectively immobilizing them.

Teammate had to yank Medic’s arms down, using all their strength to keep them still.

“I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry..” Teammate whispered softly, tears blurring their vision.

Right as Leader was about to finish sealing the wound, Medic let out a gurgling gasp as their eyes rolled back into their head and they went limp.

“Medic? Hey, Medic?” Teammate mewled, lightly tapping their cheek.

Both Leader and Teammate finally loosened their grip on them and lowered Medic to the ground with as much care as they could muster.

“Hey, c’mon Medic.. wake up for us, yeah?” Leader coaxed, brushing a strand of hair from Medic’s eyes.

Medic’s eyelids finally fluttered open, but they looked utterly exhausted. Their face was streaked with sweat and there were tears tracks lining their pale cheeks. Still, they gave a weak smile.

“You.. you guys did great..” They managed, but not before their eyes slipped close yet again.

Both Leader and Teammate exchanged a laugh at how absurd it was that Medic was praising them for doing well. Still, the worst of it was over and everyone could breathe again. They knew they should get Medic up and into medbay, but they silently agreed to let Medic rest for a few moments longer.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

[eggs-attorney]

[<<< First]

Reiker: (Oh, right... Introductions. I was never good at those...)

Reiker: My name is Reiker Strait, and I'm going to be your defense attorney today.

???: O-oh, hello... Th-they told me you might not show up and I was waiting and I... I...

Reiker: Well, I showed up! Got here as soon as I could. Anything for someone in need, miss... Come to think of it, what is your name?

???: He... Didn't tell you my name...?

Reiker: I'm afraid not... I just got this assignment, and it was kind of rushed. Today's actually my first day as Sunnyside's public defender.

???: Oh, I see... My name is Yanshu - Yanshu Dryll - and I-

Yanshu: You only started today!?

Reiker: (Shoot, my badge!)

Reiker: Well, yeah, but don't say it like that! I'm qualified!

Reiker: [Sigh]... Listen, I'd like to help you with this case. I spent the past 8 years of my life working my tail off so I could get this job, and every lawyer has to have a first client, so... May I help you? For both our sakes?

Yanshu: I-I mean... It's not like I know what I'm doing, and the thought of going in there alone terrifies me, but... You didn't even know my name. Do you know anything about the case?

Reiker: Right… We should probably talk about what we're doing here.

Yanshu: W-well, I'm on trial for the, um… Dismantlement? Of my b-best friend.

Reiker: Wh… Do you mean dismemberment?

Yanshu: I… Yes. No? The terminology surrounding Robians is still pretty vague, despite everything.

Reiker: Alright, um… So your best friend is a robot?

Yanshu: Yes, his name is Flash, and he's very important to me. I'm worried sick… Whoever did this, they stole his parts. Took everything that made him him...

Reiker: So like… His face?

Yanshu: No, no… His personality, his memories, everything that makes him unique! ... Everything I can't replace...

Reiker: I… Didn't know that could be taken away.

Yanshu: Well... You've used a computer, haven't you?

Reiker: Of course.

Yanshu: So... When you're roboticized, you turn into a computer. Your body becomes the case, and your brain the technical components. Instead of storing data biologically through neuronal connections, information is written to several storage disks as raw code, and can be accessed at any time. Since it's a physical storage unit, these disks can be removed. This is usually only done during maintenance where units have to be repaired or replaced, in which case the data is backed up and transferred, but if someone has bad intentions, they can just... Take them. Doing that while the system is active can damage the hardware, or corrupt the data, or... I can't stand thinking about it.

Reiker: ... That's upsetting.

Yanshu: It really is, and if I'm found guilty, they… They'll probably roboticize me, too.

Reiker: What? You can't be serious!

Yanshu: I am, and if they don't figure out where those components went, they'll assume I destroyed them - that I truly killed him - and that's why I need your help finding them! I-if I can find them, I can fix him, and he can tell them what happened! That I didn't do it!

Reiker: I'm afraid that's going to be hard to do from a courtroom...

Yanshu: Please, Mr. Strait! He-… He's all I have…

Guard-Bot: CURRENT TIME: 0900 HOURS. ALL TRIAL PARTICIPANTS ARE TO RELOCATE TO THE COURTROOM EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

Yanshu: … I guess that's us, but… Before we go in, please, take this.

Friendship Photo has been added to the Court Record.

Reiker: Oh, is this your friend?

Yanshu: [Sniff] Y-yeah, it is. He knows I don't like being in photos, but he took and printed it before I could take my phone back. He kept asking me to keep it - to put it on my desk or something - but I didn't have a frame on hand, so...

Reiker: So… Why are you giving this to me?

Yanshu: I don't know, it just… Feels important. Maybe you could put it to good use? I don't think I'll be needing it if I'm... Y'know...

Reiker: Don't worry, Ms. Dryll, I won't let that happen. I promise.

Reiker: (Now here's hoping I can follow through…)

[Next >]

______________________________________________________________

We received a good number of replies this round! We don't have a Thought Pool Point for this post, but feel free to share your thoughts, and stay tuned for the start of the trial next week!

[ashwhowrites]

Older! Steve x Reader, maybe she works at Steve's enterprise, maybe they're neighbours, idk, I'm interested in Older Steve and how reader and him met

I immediately ran with business Steve. I hope this is what you were looking for and you enjoy it <3 thank you for requesting

The assistant

Steve Harrington became the businessman his father wanted. He took over his dad's company and now ran a business under his name. He dove into the work and forgot about the other parts of life. Parts of having a wife, kids, or even a pet.

He had no one to go home to, he spent all his hours at his office. Buried in his work and only contacted people on his work phone.

Then he hired an assistant, and everything changed.

~~~

Steve held countless interviews for an assistant. Looking through men and women, eyeing their experience, and praying he'd find someone to hire. He wasn't pulled by anyone and it frustrated him even more. His head in his papers when he heard a knock on his office door, he jumped up and his eyes locked on a woman. She stood nervously as she tugged down on her tight skirt.

"Am I too late? I'm here to apply for an assistant job!"

Steve couldn't remove his eyes from her. Her blazer hugged her in the right places and the skirt led his thoughts to run South. He coughed and stood up, fixing his tie.

"No, you're not too late!" Steve lied, eyes landing on the clock, knowing the interviews ended two hours ago. "Come sit, I'm Steve Harrington." His hand held out as she shook it. Her hands were soft and delicate. Fresh-painted nails and rings decorated her fingers. She had a firm grip and was confident.

"Y/F/N, it's a pleasure to meet you." She smiled, taking a seat across from him. Steve eyed her bare legs as she crossed them. She was qualified, and Steve was thankful for that.

~~~

After a few months of working together, Steve realized he liked her. He enjoyed her company, but he knew he liked her more than a friend, or even just as an assistant.

She was good at her job. She learned fast and proved her worth. Steve couldn't lose her great work ethic because he found himself attracted to her. He ignored it the best he could.

Until it was Christmas Eve and he was locked in his office. He gave his employees the day off, taking up all the work. He didn't have a family to go home to, but he knew his employees did. And they deserved to be with their families.

Steve refilled his third cup of coffee, walking back to his office to see Y/N sitting in the chair. A smile on her face, and a few brown bags on his desk. All his papers were neatly piled on the side.

"I knew you'd still be here." She sighed, standing up as she offered back his chair. Steve sat down confused as she took out the Chinese boxes.

"Correct, and now what are you doing here? The office has the holidays off." Steve explained she was new and maybe she didn't know that.

"You need to eat, and see that there's a world outside of these four walls, Mr. Harrington." She explained, passing him the food, and taking a seat across from him.

"You can call me Steve, after hours," he smiled, "but I'm fine. You should be with your family." Steve protested.

"I don't have one. I left town the second I could and came straight here." She explained, looking confused at the chopsticks as she tried to hold it correctly.

"Boyfriend at least?" Steve asked, reaching over to help her with the chopsticks. His soft hands covered hers as he showed her how to hold it. He ignored the electricity that shocked through his body and leaned back in his seat.

"Nope. I'm all alone, and I figured you would be too. From what I've seen, you never leave this office. And when you do, it's way too late to ever be going home to a family. You volunteered to do everyone's work so they could be with their families. I think we are in the same boat."

Steve knew she was right, and in a way, he felt comforted that he wasn't the only one.

"Yeah but it's different for you. You're young and have time to start your family. I'm in my 40s and not even close. I sorta gave up and picked work instead."

"I think there's someone for you. Just wait."

~~~

After that night, Steve allowed himself to be close to her. She stayed late for hours and talked with him as he worked. She brought him food, and they'd talk about their life. He talked about his past and owning his father's business. She talked about why she ran away and had no desire to see her family again.

They were both alone, but found something within each other.

On a Friday night, she brought whiskey to share. A smirk on her face as she slammed it on his desk. Many drinks later, their lips were locked as he had her on his desk. Her legs wrapped around his waist as she unbuttoned his shirt.

That's where it all started

~~~

Two years later, Steve finally found someone to go home to. Locking his office door right at five. He said goodbye to his employees as he reached the elevator.

"Tell the wife we say hi!" His assistant, Brittney said. Steve offered a friendly smile and agreed to share the greeting.

Steve smiled his whole way home, never getting over the excitement to walk through his new home and have her waiting for him.

"Welcome home, handsome." She greeted, her arms over his shoulder as she hugged him. Her pregnant stomach bumped between them as his hands landed on it softly. Rubbing her stomach as he pecked her lips.

"Merry Christmas Eve."

[marivoid]

Entry 25

Day 200

I think I nearly avoided death by not sticking around this guy.

While I was busy clearing out a gas station today, this guy popped out of nowhere! I swear on it! That gas station was as dead as dust and then he just shows up out of the blue! (Or brown? The sky doesn't exactly look blue really.)

He seemed decently friendly while I spoke to him. Rambling on about how he's completing these "Zedvancements" (I still haven't figured out what qualifies for one of those things) and that he needed help on this next one.

Then came the change in attitude.

"You know you could be a really useful person! It's just a second." It started off casual.

"No thank you."

"Come on man! I haven't seen anyone in what? Five, six days? My Zedvancements are boring without anyone to complete them with!" He got a bit louder around here.

"I am sorry but I really can't! I have to go speak to a man about a horse, you know? Can't dilly dally!"

That eye of his... He didn't seem all too happy when I told him no at that time.

(As I'm writing this down, I feel so stupid! He probably just wanted my head on a spike or something!)

"Who are you trying to meet with?" He had started to walk a circle around me then. Like I was prey (AND I SOMEHOW DIDN'T REALIZE. WAY TO GO PAST ME WHAT THE FUCK! WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE NUMBER ONE DUMBASS OF THE YEAR) "There can't be anyone that important that you can't stay a day or two!"

"Well, actually there is. I'm trying to find the Doctor!" And I had turned. Away. Just turned away and walked to the door like there wasn't a single damn in the world. "My arm here needs work to be done. Keeps glitching out!"

I distinctly remember just how shocked he was when I looked back at him. How that golden-yellow eye was fixed on me. How his weird pupil dilated several times over in just the span of seconds. He was getting angry and I hadn't known it at the time.

"You can't be serious! THE Doctor?? The madman?! Are you insane?"

"I am!" I had to of been stupid to keep talking to him, let alone to just crack open one of the last pop bottles that lingered on the shelves (I'm still fine as of writing this. I'm not hurting or sick because of that drink.) "He's the only one who can fix my arm. It's Watcher Tec and Admins were never trained on how to fix that kind of stuff."

"YOU'RE FROM A G.U.I.D.E?!" I swear to you his scream could have scared off a Night Stalker. "That's genuine Watcher Tec?? You have Old Metal??"

"I wouldn't call it that." I had let him see the complex steam system wiring up my arm to my stub. "It's titanium, not the stuff that the G.U.I.D.E.s were made from. And even then, good luck trying to pry that stuff off the walls. Once it's molded, it's stuck for good!"

I hadn't realized he had been staring at me like I was a fool. No, I was too busy chugging my soda. (Still really good by the way!)

"I know a couple of people that could melt it down." He had said oh so casually. (No I did not do a spit take here, shush.) "One's a few days South from here. The other, West. Find one of those guys and they'll help melt down some G.U.I.D.E. metal."

"I'll see what I can do for you. No promises though. Do you have a number or however these things work?"

Annnnd that's how I suddenly have three new contacts in my wrist thingy. (From here on out I'll just call it a Comm, since it's a Communication Device of a sorts, but not exactly like how those old phones worked back in the day.)

Person one (South) is called "The Demon" in my phone. I don't think that's a very trustworthy name, but it could be worse. The second one, however, is called "Heavy-Body Builder." What's a Heavy-Body Builder? Is it important? Dangerous?

And the third...

"Zedaph"

I'll have to make sure to contact that number as little as possible. Leave it alone unless absolutely necessary. That guy was NOT safe. But at least he showed me how to take photos on this thing. Got a reference for the journal though, so it was kind of worth almost dying.

Just got to find The Doctor.

-MLW

-G.U.I.D.E 67

[reyanfia]

the warrior and his healer — neteyam x reader ☄. *. ⋆➢ part one!

other chapters are up! read it here -> chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4

setting: awa'atlu, pandora

pairing: neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader

warnings: nothing much in this part, but if we are talking about the entire series, mentions of bl00d, a bit of angst, teyam survives!

summary: the newcomer seems to enjoy your company! he seems to like what you do, too. let's hope nothing bad happens to your study buddy.

a/n: I actually requested this to @bonnibuckets, and they did great at writing it! but I wanted to try and write it myself. pls enjoy ^^ by the way, I'm replacing y/n with _____ because I personally find y/n weird to read. and yes, it is like loaksky's style, but I don't think it should be a problem. :)) a lot of the medicinal stuff in here is made up since little about healing is known in avatar.

"ah! here she is." tsireya smiled as she skipped into your marui, dragging the eldest sully boy from behind her.

you looked up from your papers, meeting eyes with them both. figuring she brought him to you to fix up some injuries, you placed your studying materials aside.

you hadn't acquainted yourself with any for the sully kids, but you have watched them train with tsireya, ao'nung and rotxo.

from your observations, you thought that the younger sully boy, lo'ak, was the first one who tsireya would bring into your marui for any injuries that had to be healed. it didn't cross your mind that the eldest would be hurt before him.

you weren't an official healer, to be exact. but you are training to be one. ronal, the tsahìk, had announced that due to the lack of healers in the village, she will be choosing a few more girls to help out the elders. but to be qualified to do so, they must have enough knowledge about medicine and healing.

tsireya dubbed you to be the best among the other girls, as to probably why she brought neteyam to you.

tsireya's beaming smile stayed on as she sat neteyam down in front of you. "here, he scuffed himself by the corals. would you mind patching him up, ______?"

you glanced at his bleeding forearm and back to her. "no, I don't mind." you gave her a small smile, which she enthusiastically returned before she ran off.

you then got up and went to your shelves. "i'd thought that your brother would come running in bleeding first," you stated as you grabbed the covered bowl of healing salve.

neteyam laughed. "well, he did get hurt. but it seems tsireya has taken him for herself to tend to."

you smiled, and though you were facing away from him, he could see it. "she has talked a lot about him the past few days. i've heard more about him than the firstborn son of toruk makto."

you set all the things you needed onto the floor. you sat where you previously were, preparing to tend to the cuts on the arm.

he felt his face warm when you said it. "you don't have to call me that," he could barely look into your eyes, something you found odd. you'd expected him to be a little more confident than his brother. seems the roles have switched.

"why not? i suspect people call you that all the time back in the forest." you dipped the cloth into the bowl of water, and started dabbing around the wound to clean it.

the boy before you winced. "ah— well, yeah. i guess it feels weird to have somebody new saying it to me." he replied, clearing his throat after.

you nodded. you also took notice of the abnormal rasp in his voice, possibly because of all the breath-holding and accidental swallowing of the ocean water.

after you finished cleaning the wound, you took a small amount of the healing salve. "this is going to feel a little cold," you warned, applying it onto the cuts. it only soothed the pain more. neteyam felt instant relief as you gently rubbed it into his azure skin, the sting immediately going away.

as you were busy tending to the injury, he sat still. but his eyes roamed and observed.

he watched your brows furrow in focus, your clean hand going up to your hair to tuck it behind your ear every now and then. he looked at the plants and scriptures you were studying, there was a pile of it by your right.

you reminded him of himself. hard-working and busy.

"what's all that?" he asked, pointing towards the pile of things. your head snapped up to him first, then to where he pointed. "oh that, it's uh— stuff that i need to know to become a healer. tsireya thinks im good at it — probably why she brought you to me."

neteyam glanced from your face, and down to your hands. you were done with the paste — you took a long strip of soft dried seaweed, wrapped it around the wound and secured it in place by expertly tucking the ends in.

"all done. better?" you released his arm, letting him have a look at your handiwork. "much better. tsireya may be right." you smiled at his indirect compliment, as to which he did back.

"maybe i should go now?" neteyam suggested. you were about to let him, but his voice reminded you about that medicine you needed to try out.

"oh! before you go, try this medicine that i made. it'll help with your hoarse voice."

you reached from behind him, revealing a large, curved flower petal that contained a golden-amber like liquid. "it matches his eyes." you thought as you handed it to him. he drank it.

it was surprisingly sweet, it tasted like what humans would call honey, and it alleviated the discomfort in his throat. "how is it? does your throat feel any better?"

he stared at the ground for a few seconds. how on pandora did you manage to come up with such a thing? it worked like a charm.

he nodded vigorously. "it's amazing. now tsireya was definitely right."

you laughed along with him, glad that the mixture you made helped.

you may have just made yourself a new friend.

— ☄. . ⋆✧ .

neteyam can feel kiri's eyes piercing through the side of his face. sighing, he turned to her. "kiri, did i do something wrong?"

she shrugged and looked to his wrapped wound. "you seem oddly happy."

he shook his head at her answer, lying down onto the marui floor. "hm. i wonder why."

and he knows exactly why.

it was calming being in your presence. tranquility was a stranger to him. with all the pressure and expectations, neteyam has not known a day of peace. no one he knew before gave him peace. except now that he's met you. that's fun.

kiri wasn't stupid though. copying him, she sighed. "I wasn't born last night neteyam. what's her name?"

he froze. he remembers tsireya mentioning your name when she dropped him off at your marui, but he forgot it. somehow.

"oh damn. I'm not sure. she's that girl that tsireya always hangs out with. we've seen them together a couple times—"

she cuts him off. "_____? the healer in training?" neteyam nodded against the marui floor, slightly scratching his head in the process. "yep. her."

kiri turns her head upwards, as if remembering how your face looked like. "hm. she's pretty. would be surprised if she liked you back though."

"oh cut it out, kiri." neteyam swatted at her arm. "I don't like her."

she rolled her eyes in response. "yeah well, not yet."

"who are we talking about?" both kiri and neteyam get hit by a blast of cold wind when lo'ak opened the marui entrance. "ah! there you are. had fun on your date with tsireya?" kiri teased, barely dodging whatever it was that lo'ak had thrown her way.

"shut up! it wasn't a date." neteyam couldn't see much while lying down, but he saw enough to catch a glimpse of his brother's blushing face. he chuckled to himself at his siblings continue to bicker.

and as eclipse settled in, he slowly fell asleep then, his last thought being about you.

©ronalsgirl

tagging: @azaleaniath @theycallmesia

those who request to be in the taglist under this chapter, will be tagged in the next one. thank you!

next part will be out soon :] [next part is out! check top of this post.]

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Race 9)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.1k words, no warnings) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I love that picture of lance,, he looks so cute mwah}

last part - masterlist - next part

Lance was so excited, he hadn't been back to Canada in so long it felt great to be back.

Lance got to the paddock with his dad, feeling like a little kid again as he walked next to him, it felt great outside. He was in a short sleeved Racing Point shirt, his hair having more body than usual as he walked and talked with his dad

"Are you confident in the car? I know this seasons been tough on you but we're always trying to improve the car for you and Nico."

"I am, Dad, I'm not sure what keeps going wrong. Maybe I'm not good enough yet?"

"Don't say that, Lance, I know you're good enough, it just takes some getting used to."

Lance nodded, his dad was probably right but he knew how people felt about him and with how he's performing he couldn't help but doubt himself. He just hoped that he'd at least finish his home race.

Qualifying came and went, he was embarrassed to see how he'd done. His mind hadn't been wandering like at the last Grand Prix so there was no reason for him to qualify 17th while Nico qualified 6th.

"I'm sorry" He said on the radio, Brad quick to tell him it was okay and they'd do better tomorrow, Lance was determined to do better tomorrow, he had to do decently considering the fact that now there were two Canadians on the grid so the crowd was practically split in half.

Lance hoped Brad was right, he was sick of feeling like he was letting his team down.

Fernando came over as usual to greet Lance, having qualified on pole (also as usual).

Lance was happy to see him, he was glad the Spaniard wasn't as busy as in England, he wondered if he would've done better had he not seemingly avoided him all weekend.

"Lancito! Is home race time" He sounded more excited than Lance, wrapping an arm around the taller boys shoulder

"You already had your home race, Nando" Lance teased, smiling down at the Spaniard

"Ay, we are friends no?" He asked, Lance nodding to confirm they were in fact friends "Exactly! Any home of a friends is a home of mine"

He rolled his eyes, trying to hold back a smile at the comment, he liked thinking about how him and Fernando were friends, being casually close like this made Lance's heart flutter. He adored being friends with the World Champion.

Lance was the first one to look for Fernando on the paddock the next day, finding him in the middle of an interview.

He tried to stay quiet as he crept up behind him, putting his finger to his lips to tell the interviewer to not say anything.

"...Si, the car is spectacular, little problems here and there but our engineers are always quick to fix all errors."

"Of course, now, let's ask the questions the fans really want to hear. Fernando, people are still wondering about you and the Racing Point driver, Lance Stroll's, relationship, anything to comment?"

"I adore Lance, we spend a lot of time together and he's truly brilliant, he'd be one of the best on the grid if he just had a car that could showcase his talent"

Lance couldn't help but smile, face flushing pink as he heard how the older man was praising him

"No need to flatter me, Nando" Lance laughed, speaking up and moving to stand next to Fernando

"Mi sol, when did you get here?" Fernando's face lit up, quick to pull the boy closer as he forced him into the interview, neither of them noticed how the womans face changed after hearing such an affectionate nickname be used so openly between the two drivers.

"I was gonna scare you but you were talking so nicely I felt bad" Lance smiled at Fernando, completely forgetting they were being filmed and the World Champion was in the middle of an interview.

"So mature, Lancito" Fernando rolled his eyes, not surprised at the boys actions

"I know, right?" Lance nodded, finally looking away from Fernando and to the interviewer "Right, I'll let you finish. Don't talk about me too much" Lance teased Fernando then nodded to the woman behind the camera and headed back to his garage, glad he wasn't the one being interviewed this time.

The race came and went, Lance managed to make up a good bit of places but just barely missed points, finishing in 12th.

He knew no one was upset with the outcome because anything is better than a DNF but not getting points at his home race hurt more than not finishing another race.

Fernando ended up winning, obviously, and Lance figured because "any home of a friends is a home of his" he should go watch the older man on the podium at his "home race."

Fernando had grown accustomed to seeing the Canadian under him while he was on the podium, knowing he was there managed to make the celebration better. Any time Lance was around he made everything better for Fernando, as if just his presence brought luck to the Spaniard.

As the Spanish anthem played he couldn't help but look down at Lance, smiling softly as the boy gazed up at him. The camera then cut to Lance, broadcasting the shared looks between the drivers for the whole world to see, it really is great to see drivers have such great sportsmanship.

Like clockwork Fernando made his way to Lance afterwards, pulling him into his arms "You did so good today, Lancito" He praised, proud of the rookie even if he didn't score points.

"You literally won, Nando" Lance laughed, pulling back to look at the World Champion

"I stayed in first basically the whole race, your overtakes were brilliant, mi sol" He gushed, having asked his engineer throughout the race to update him on the boys spot, as if Lance was a threat to him.

"Thank you, Nando, you're too kind."

"Do you want to go out with me?" The Spaniard asked suddenly, Lance becoming visibily shocked at the question

"Go out with you?"

"Si, you are hungry, no?" Fernando seemed confused, unsure why the rookie was so surprised at the suggestion, he literally flew almost a whole day to Australia to spend a week with him (and Mark)

"God, Nando, I really need to teach you how to word things better" He smiled, wrapping an arm around Fernandos shoulder "Let me treat you to dinner, race winner"

[raapija]

Just a regular day

Fernando Alonso/Lance Stroll

No warnings needed, just fluff <3

It's been a long day at the karting track and Lance goes to find Fernando to take him home.

This is part of the pookie au ->

Lance stretched back in his chair and yawned. He was finally done cataloging every piece of paper and recording everything on the computer database. He rubbed his eyes and looked at his watch.

"Half seven..." he mumbled to himself and relaxed for a moment longer. He looked out the office window and down towards the track. The sun was setting and painted the sky pink. It was so quiet compared to just a few hours before with about 20 karts speeding around the track and dozens of family members and friends cheering for them.

Lance could see some movement from the other side of the track where the garages and storage buildings were. He sat up to see better and could make out a familiar figure wheeling along one of the karts used in the race. Oh, Fernando was still working on something. The Canadian decided to wrap up his things and head down to see what he was doing. The whole building was empty, apart from a little old cleaning lady tidying up the offices. Lance said his good byes to her and made his way outside.

***

"Hey," Lance said as he stopped at the garage opening, looking at Fernando hunched over the kart he had been moving. "Whatcha doing?"

Fernando peered up and smiled as he saw Lance, his hands busy loosening some screws. As he looked back down, his face contorted in frustration as one of the screws wouldn't come out. "The engine was making a sound so I'm just checking it."

"It's almost seven, we should go home." Lance said and walked over to him, crouching down and watching Fernando tinker with the engine. The Spaniard's hands were covered in black oil and grease and Lance thought it made him look quite rugged. In a good way.

"Yeah, it's not gonna take long. You can go if you want to. I'll get a ride from someone." Fernando said and Lance huffed.

"I'm not leaving you here, you'll stay the whole night. Besides, it's only us and Juanita still here. And she can't strap you onto her Vespa." the Canadian said. Fernando chuckled and then pointed towards a toolbox off to the side.

"Well, help me then and we'll go." he said and Lance reached for the toolbox, handing Fernando whatever he needed. They worked together on the engine with Lance giving suggestions on the possible fix and Fernando trying them out. Finally, they found the right part that was causing the noise and Fernando ripped the whole thing off and changed in a new one. They fired up the kart and were satisfied to hear it run smoothly.

***

"Well!" Lance chirped with a clap as Fernando got up to clean his hands. It was almost eight now and he was feeling famished. They had only had a quick lunch break between practise and qualifying and that was almost 7 hours ago. "Can we go home now?"

"Yeah, sí." Fernando said as he wiped his hands clean with WD-40. Lance grimaced as he knew how rough Fernando's hands would get after that. The Spaniard rinsed his hands with water and then walked over to Lance, pulling him close by the waist. He looked up to Lance and gave him a warm smile. "How was your day?"

Lance smirked at him and loosely wrapped his arms around Fernando's shoulders. "Fine. Busy, but fine. I had a lot of fun actually."

"Yeah?" Fernando hummed. Lance could see how tired he was, eyes all droopy and his whole being a bit disheveled. "A lot of official, very important race director business?"

"Yeah, sure." Lance laughed. His job for today had been to keep a record of everything happening on track. Participants, timing, possible penalties, finishing positions... It was a lot but he was pretty good at handling ten different things at once. And he had a couple people help him that worked full-time at the museum, so it wasn't really all that bad.

"Hmm..." Fernando hummed again and got up on his tip toes to give Lance a good and long kiss. Content with the smooch, he slumped back down and rested his forehead on Lance's shoulder. "Take me home, por favor."

"Okay..." Lance said and held him for a bit longer. Fernando smelled like oil, petrol and sweat, not the best combination of flavours but Lance loved it. It reminded him of his own karting days in Canada.

"Come on, then." Lance said and they let go of each other. They gathered their belongings and closed up the garage. It was pretty dark outside with only a few lamps lighting up the track. They walked hand in hand, talking about what they were going to have for a late dinner. Lance loved these kinds of sweet moments with Fernando. Nothing but them and ordinary every day conversation. Like they weren't famous F1 drivers with a million eyes on them at every waking moment, but just a couple of regular boring people with regular boring lives. Oh, what he would give for it to be like this always and forever. But then again, driving an F1 car was pretty nice, too.

"Lancito, churri?" Fernando called for him gently and Lance broke out of his daydream. He had fallen a few steps behind and now had to catch up.

"Yeah, yeah, coming." the Canadian hurried over to the car, throwing his things on the backseat as Fernando held the door open. They then went to their own respective places; Lance on the wheel and Fernando riding shotgun. It didn't take long after pulling out the parking lot that the Spaniard already fell asleep. Lance listened to the radio on low volume, driving along an empty road and cherished the moment once more. Him and his husband going home, the home that they had bought together. Just regular people driving back to their regular home. It was perfect for him.

▹.࿙𝆤𝆤࿚'𝆤࿙𝆤𖹭𝆤࿚𝆤'࿙𝆤𝆤࿚.࿙𝆤𝆤࿚'𝆤࿙𝆤𖹭𝆤࿚𝆤'࿙𝆤𝆤࿚.▹

Thanks for reading <3 I've been thinking of writing something with the karting school for a while now and finally got inspired enough to do it. Hope y'all like it 🥰

[ilikekidsshows]

I'm just so annoyed that one can't even voice their frustrations with Canon anymore without being written off as a salter. Especially when it comes to Marinette. But at the same time, I know exactly that if anyone had said earlier that Marinette would pull all these things that season 4 and 5 have her do, the person would have been insulted and ripped apart as a salter and hater. But the moment Canon has Marinette actually DO it her fans turn around and claim that her having done it is either totally fine, not her fault, or must be tolerated cause it's part of the good and pure messages "they totally predicted this way all along with their totally unbiased Master-minds"

It is so obvious that this is what's happening in the Fandom. In season 4, everyone yelled that people are being too harsh on poor Marinette cause season 5 will totally have her fix for example her insanely negligent, dehumanizing, and self centered behavior towards Cat Noir

And yet, the moment season 5 showed that non of that will happen, they turn around and started talking about these hypocritical nonsense philosophies that it's totally fine that feeling sorry, taking accountability and improving one's shortcomings doesn't actually include feeling sorry, taking accountability and improving one's real shortcomings, cause poor Marinette needs to have servants and be pampered for her hurtful behavior, validated and excused in it, and crowned the queen of the world first and "you just hate WOMEN wah wah wah".

That they totally understand how canon works and Marinette will TOTALLY have this groundbreaking journey til season 10, and everyone is so unfair and horrible for being sexist and having expected so much of her as early as THE END OF SEASON 5. Whne she straight up isn't doing her best to make up for her mistakes, she barely even tries and instead sweeps everything under the rug, takes every excuse she gets and continues taking advantage of Cat Noir in particular so she doesn't have to feel uncomfortable for 10 damn seconds

Where was that energy in season 4, Marinette stans? You said something entirely else back then! What changed? The fact that canon didn't deliver on your endless excuses for Marinette, so you decided to continue adapting your excuses to whatever Canon has her do? Sounds about right.

I wished Marinette stans and even just her Fans would do us all a solid and just admit already that the morality of Marinette's canon actions and behavior doesn't truly matter to them. There is literally nothing they wouldn't excuse that much is obvious by now. No matter how much they themselves qualified her current behavior as "offensive salt" one damn season earlier.

---

I did comment at one point that Miraculous was starting to resemble a saltfic when it started lifting plotpoints straight from them (like Adrien apologizing for his really solid advice that instantly helped Marinette in Chameleon). But now it seems that canon has also lifted Marinette's new role from saltfics, except that the people she disregards haven't done any of the stuff they do in saltfics that makes them “deserve” Marinette's retribution. Unless Adrien totally did rip Marinette's sketchbook and I just missed it.

But, yeah, it's absolutely ridiculous that, if we traveled back in time a couple of years and simply described to people what happens in seasons 4 and 5, we’d get labeled a bunch of salters. Even now they call us salters just because we don't praise Marinette for doing this stuff, like it's our fault the main heroine of this series is an utter failure who never worked up the courage to ask the guy she likes out and whose response to being told her nemesis’ identity was to ignore it until he jumped her when she was digging for info on her boyfriend. And then she lost the fight. Marinette had two jobs as a protagonist, and she failed at them both. That’s not the fault of the fans who are disappointed by this; it’s the fault of the writers who think doing what will get them the most attention is more important than having their supposed role model, hero and protagonist actually accomplish anything on her own merit.

Because the writers claim that they had this “planned all along”, when they had a French historical hero walk on screen and call Marinette the best Ladybug ever, while they were planning on having her fail at accomplishing all of her goals. I used to think that the writers think Marinette should be praised for simply existing, but no, they think she should be praised for explicitly failing. And pointing out this utter failure of writing and heroism is salt. That's how low the fans of this trainwreck have brought the bar for what they consider good television, it's practically nonexistent.

[the-femslasher]

Why I gave up on Succubuns

Hey there, it's Jack. I'm an artist and use any pronouns but on the closed species site Succubuns, I previously went by toxic-candy. I signed all my work with my Bluesky handle, femslasher. I primarily drew the characters Fray and Deedee. You can find art of them posted here under the tag "mine" or "upload" but most of my work is on femslasher.bsky.social. You can use this info to verify my identity.

Okay so a disclaimer before we get into it; I'm currently waiting on an official autism diagnosis after I was professionally assessed and found to qualify for further psychiatric evaluation. This isn't an excuse for my social quirks, rather a reason as to why this post might be messy. I've never been the best at my wording.

Additionally; this is not a callout. This is an explanation and summary of events leading up to me leaving the site. I'm writing this here instead of an ask because I never felt right participating in gossip online but what others do isn't my business. Nothing personal meant by this, genuinely.

That being said, I know I can come on too strong. I know I'm loud and annoying and that I'm too excitable and open and talk too much and that's on me. However, this is also part of the reason I'll be leaving Succubuns.

Yves describes my conduct as disruptive and inappropriate. After I expressed confusion over a rejection seemingly ignoring design changes I'd made, I was accused of complaining in the discord and promptly muted.

This is a link to the message I received from Yves: https://discord.com/channels/@me/1297682011313672264/1314717635837165629

The message ID is 1314717635837165629

The messages, shown below, read as follows

Jack: did you seriously mute me for being confused about a rule I was told to disregard?

Yves: Jack, you have continued to be unable to act appropriately in chat despite many warnings. Complaining in community help that you're unhappy with staff rejecting your design and talking back to moderators is not okay. You've also continued to overtake chat to talk about yourself, your own characters, and your own interests excessivly since you returned just a few days ago.

If you want to continue to interact in the server, you need to act more appropriately. This is your second strike-- on your third, you will be permanently banned.

For additional context my first strike was for the same cited reasons as this one. Below is a screenshot of those messages as well as a transcript

Message ID 1: 1299187139199897674

Message ID 2: 1314717030309691452

Vortex, on 10/24/2024: You have received 1 strikes in Succubuns for: Inappropriate conduct in chat

🤐 You have been tempmuted for 1 weeks from Succubuns

Vortex, yesterday 5pm: You have received 1 strikes in Succubuns for: Repeated warnings about inappropriate discord behavior

🤐 You have been tempmuted for 4 weeks from Succubuns

Jack: oh come the fuck on

At this point I've decided to pack my bags, say "fuck it all," take my characters and leave. I have more followers on BSKY now than ever and nothing to lose because almost none of them care about Succubuns.

I'm cancelling the promise I made to draw Christmas gifts for new users. There's no point in trying to fit in here. The space isn't for me, and while I have tried I can't fix that. I haven't been able to fix that in the over 20 years I've been alive and I'd rather go my separate way than force myself into a space knowing I won't be accepted there.

@succubun-salt

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Given everything that canon has currently given us about their actions, thoughts, personalities and personal histories, how would you arrange all 15 of Miss Bustier’s students in order from Most Worthy of a Miraculous in General to Least Worthy of a Miraculous in General and why for each character’s placement?

The inconsistent characterization and other writing issues make this a hard ask, but I'll do my best. I'm not going to do a true ranking, though. Instead, we're going to do a combo ranking and tier approach since there will be a lot of ties here and I also want to draw some clear lines between the different groups.

The Hero Tier: characters who are ready to be heroes as-is. They may need to do some growing to feel like a full fledged hero, but that growing can be done as a newly hatched hero.

The I Guess? Tier: characters with nothing to qualify or disqualify them from being a hero. They don't necessarily feel like a bad fit, but they probably need a character arc to truly feel like a good fit.

The Disqualifying Episode Tier: characters who would be in the "I Guess" Tier if it weren't for that one really bad episode that makes them look terrible. (Note that I'm reserving this for minor characters who don't give us much to go on. Characters without a strong core for me to lean on, making it hard to ignore these bad episodes as there's nothing to contradict the bad characterization.)

The Needs a Redemption Arc First Tier: characters that are not suited to the hero role in their current form, but that could be if they went through a big personal journey

The Hero Tier

1 - Marinette Dupain-Cheng

While the writers have done Marinette dirty in a thousand ways, I will give them full credit for her base character design. She has an excellent setup for a hero. She's a quick thinker who takes charge in a crisis and who cares about doing the right thing. She's willing to make major sacrifices for the good of others and has a strong sense of justice. While I'm obviously biased by her role as the lead, there really isn't a character I'd pick over her for our leading lady. She is the character best suited to leading the team in battle.

2 - Alya Césaire

Alya is in the same category as Marinette. Someone who the writing has done dirty, but who still screams hero potential. Her take-charge attitude and willingness to brave akuma fights for her blog make her feel like someone who could grab a miraculous an go. This is extra true because her core character feels such a strong balance to Marinette. Because Marinette is good at reactive thinking, she needs a teammate who is good at proactive thinking to help figure out how to locate and reclaim the butterfly. That teammate should have been Alya, but alas, we will never get it in canon. The only reason Alya wasn't tied for first place is that she feels ill suited to solo work. She needs someone to make her pause and think things through when she gets overexcited.

2 - Adrien Agreste

I actually debated if Adrien deserved the hero tier because the writing has done so much to make him feel ill suited to the hero role. I ultimately decided to keep him up here because he has a strong core character that's incredibly easy to work with, making it feel wrong to put him anywhere else. A quick fix to his motivation and he's good to go because he's generally a selfless, kind person who is willing to put his life on the line for others. Ladybug truly would struggle without someone in his role and no one else really feels suited to it. Much like Alya, Adrien only works in a team setting, so he ties with her for second place.

3 - Alix Kubdel

I wasn't totally sure where to put Alix because she's one of the show's least developed teen characters. A lot of the things we know about her come from watching her adult self, which isn't really fair as everyone else is getting judged based on their behavior as a young teen. However, in spite of all the bad writing, Alix does come across like someone who would be ready to fight at a moment's notice and who has a strong desire to do good, so into the hero tier she goes!

4 - Rose Lavillant

While Rose's character doesn't scream hero, positivity and kindness are good traits for a hero, so I can see why she'd be picked to be one. Her recruitment episode was one of the strongest ones because she didn't need any sort of arc to be ready. She's fine as-is and fit her role perfectly, which means that it feels wrong to put her in another tier. I do worry about her ability to handle a major crisis since she's quick to cry and can come across as a little oversensitive, which is why I put her at the bottom of the list. You could convince me that she should be moved down a tier.

The I Guess? Tier

5 - Juleka Couffaine

Juleka a nice person and a good friend, but nothing about her screams "hero." At the same time, nothing about her screams "no good, very bad choice." I can see a story where she becomes a hero, but it doesn't feel like a missed opportunity if she stays a civilian because I don't think that she's ready to take on the role as-is. She's got some growing to do to really earn her stripes. It's why her hero debut is a little awkward. They tried to speed-run a character arc about her gaining confidence only for that development to disappear afterward. I'm not even sure why they needed her in that episode.

5 - Ivan Bruel

Ivan is basically a male Juleka and his recruitment is even more speed-run. It really feels like he only got a miraculous so that no one was left out. Nothing about his story feels like he earned his spot. If anything, it feels like he was done dirty and robbed of a character arc. Just look at this recruitment!

Ivan: What if I hurt someone using my superpowers? Ladybug: It's good to be careful, Ivan, but remember, you'll be on a team of superheroes facing supervillains! No one can be hurt. (Ivan, reassured, smiles)

I'm sensing some Stoneheart trauma here or maybe even something more complex, but of course, we're never going to dig into that. Boo, writers. Boo! Either have him ready to go or give him a story. Don't half-ass it!

6 - Mylène Haprèle

I almost put Mylène in the Hero Tier because her activism shows that she's willing to stand up and fight (Ivan didn't get that grace because it feels like he only does it for Mylène's sake). Then I thought about her hero debut and decided that Mylène belonged here because it was yet another hard-to-buy speed-run. I even put her below Ivan and Juleka because Mylène is the only character to give a truly compelling argument as to why she's not qualified:

Mylène: (interrupts) No, Ladybug! I can't be a superhero. I'm scared of everything. Look, I have a badge for my fear of water, one for my fear of beasts. I need a necklace to help me get over my fear of badges!

This is not someone who's ready to go on a solo mission after a minor pep talk, nor was she the obvious choice for the mouse, so her refusal should have been respected. Not everyone is qualified to be an action hero and it's a sign of strength to know when you need to say "no." Much like Juleka and Ivan, Mylène is begging for a stronger character arc or even for a story that shows that there are different types of heroes.

7 - Max Kanté

Max literally only got a miraculous so he didn't die because they were in space, so it's really hard to call him a good hero candidate who was well chosen for his role. At the same time, I can't call him unqualified. His strong analytical skills make him feel like a character who could be a good addition to a hero team, though only in a supporting role. They haven't done anything to make him feel like he belongs on the battlefield. He doesn't get a spot in the hero tier though because the Lila stuff and his behavior in Gamer are enough to make him feel like he needs to do some growing up before he's truly suited to a miraculous.

The Disqualifying Episode Tier

8 - Nino Lahiffe

I'm sorry, Nino. I love you, but your behavior in season four and five was appalling! You outed your girlfriend's identity without her permission, antagonized your best friend's abusive parent for no good reason, and demonstrated a total lack of faith in Ladybug's ability to regain the miraculous, making it impossible to put you in a higher tier because, unlike Adrien, Alya, and Marinette, you don't have a strong core character that I can use to argue away these flaws away. I literally had to redesign your character to write you! So into this tier you go since you actually have several disqualifying episodes.

9 - Nathaniel Kurtzberg

Nathaniel generally comes across as a nice guy, but Reverser totally ruined his character for me. Since the show has given me nothing that I can use to argue that Reverser shouldn't count, into this tier he goes. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then read the Marc section of this post to see why Nathaniel needs anger management classes. It's why he's going below Nino. Nino just feels like he needs to be a little more thoughtful. Nathaniel feels like he needs serious work.

9 - Lê Chiến Kim

Kim has never screamed hero to me and his actions in Derision are hard to ignore, especially since they match his bullying behavior in Origins. I want him to be our silly dumb jock, but canon apparently doesn't, so into this tier he goes. I actually almost put him in the bottom tier because the bullying thing bothers me so much. It really does feel like he needs at least a minor redemption arc, but he's got several episodes that paint him as fine, contradicting the episodes that make him a bully, so it feels unfair to put him in with the true bullies who cannot be characterized in any other way without going against their core character.

The Needs a Redemption Arc First Tier

10 - Chloé Bourgeois

Full thoughts here, but the short version is that baseline character establishment is not the same as a character arc. The show made Chloé sympathetic and showed that she had some actual depth, but those things were presented in a way that made them feel like they were just basic elements of her character. Things she'd always had. Her character never had any sort of meaningful growth, so it never felt like she should be a hero. It just felt like her story had the potential to go that route if the writers wanted to take her there.

11 - Sabrina Raincomprix

Sabrina is a bully who delights in tormenting others and who never gets a glimmer of potential like we saw with Chloé back in seasons two and three, meaning that Sabrina is totally unqualified for a miraculous. I was appall that she got one without even a hint of a redemption arc first. All we got was confirmation that Sabrina cares about her best friend which we always knew. At least Chloé only got hers by accident. Sabrina gets handed one like she's qualified to be on the team! Terrible writing. 0/10 stars

12 - Lila Rossi

We might as well put Lila in this tier since I'd like to think that any 14-year-old could be helped to be a better person, but it's hard to have any hope for her. The writing has failed her by every conceivable metric outside of maybe her core concept. Even then, she has no place in a formula show for kids. She belongs in a teen drama.

[class1akids]

Hi, hope you’re all good 😊 anyways, I have seen the thought process of Hawks being integrated into the Todoroki family drama recently, and it has been a take I’ve seen before but I saw it again recently on X and it’s left me baffled. I honestly don’t know how Hawks can be integrated into the Todoroki family drama? I know there are some connections between Hawks and the Todoroki’s but he’s not really a part of their family situation, and I don’t see how he would or could be integrated into it? He doesn’t really get a say on how the family reconcile? Or how they fix their personal issues?? I mean I guess he could be there to support Enji in some kind of way, but like I just don’t really see his placement here??? I got told to re-read chapter 299-302 but 301-302 is all about the Todoroki’s that doesn’t answer it? And I guess 299 give us a glimpse of showing us he wants to help Enji but still how could he be integrated into the family situation??

Hawks has always been what I call a "Todoroki plot adjacent" character (along with the likes of Inasa, Can't you see kun, etc) in the sense that he's been introduced as Endeavor's ally and then we dug into his backstory to show how deeply his hero persona was shaped by Endeavor's hero work. Plus, his entry into the LoV is via Dabi - so for a long time Dabi is his main interaction. In fact, Endeavor's "good as a hero" culminates in Hawks saving that truck as a child and being taken in and raised as a hero by the HPSC and as Endeavor's past sins come home to roost in the form of Dabi, Hawks loses his wings to his fire.

Even Horikoshi illustrates them as the "children" of Endeavor as a hero and Enji, the shitty father, respectively.

That doesn't mean Hawks doesn't have plotlines or relationships outside of the Todoroki plot (he does: mainly Twice - but Dabi is also tied to this, and then Tokoyami).

So while I do not expect Hawks to be a part of the Todoroki family discussion per se, I also wouldn't be surprised if he showed up either at the beginning or the end.

I'm one of the people who believes that Hawks, now that he's quirkless, will be offered the leadership of the HPSC (remember how the Twice clones killed the old president and sleepy Mera was temporary president?). Hawks showed he's very capable at managing complex situations for the hero side (he was the brain behind a lot of the handling of the PR disaster in the fallout of the PLF War, an instrumental figure in keeping All Might and Endeavor working together, part of the battle planning team), and having been raised inside the HPSC, he's in a very unique situation to take it over.

But at the same time, Hawks is also a character who is sitting on the divide line of heroes and villains. Having been born to villain parents, he should understand how easy it is for the marginalized to fall down the villain path. He's the successor of Nagant and has been trained to kill for the "greater good", so he knows the kind of crimes the government commits from the shadows. He knew Jin as a "good person" he wanted to save and recognized (too late) how important friendship was to him.

This means to me, that Hawks is not only qualified to lead the HPSC, but has an experience which could make him more sympathetic to the plight of the villains and the systemic injustices that need to be corrected (inhuman prisons, bad quirk counselling, etc).

So now, circling back to the upcoming Todoroki family discussion: now let's assume Touya can be healed, that he wants to be reunited with his family, and obviously the family wants him back. Can they just take him home from the hospital? Obviously not. Touya is a wanted villain, he killed many people and almost blew up the equivalent of the city. What are the family's prospects of healing? Even if Touya feels remorse and doesn't want to kill anyone, will he be just put on death row or into Tartarus? Is there even a prison that can hold his firepower safely?

These are the kind of questions that the Todoroki family being reunited would raise and what the family cannot solve by themselves. They needs outside help, they need systemic changes that would combine justice with rehabilitation. For example, getting Touya the kind of detention that focuses also on therapy and an ability for him to catch up on the things he didn't do: like finishing high school and finding something he's good at and he wants to do with his life.

So I feel like Hawks could come into the plot in this sense - being an outsider who is Endeavor's friend / supporter, who wants to give this family the chance at healing (also because his own family never did), who also understands that villains are human beings with strong bonds and it's easier to save them together. Plus, Hawks was a victim of Dabi's violence - so if he advocates for more lenient treatment of the villains, he can't be accused of just being a hypocrite.

I also feel like if Toga is alive (which I think she is), then this new approach to villains can be extended to her and Spinner as well. So Hawks can be the outside force who tries to change the systemic logic.

Hawks is very obviously being set up as someone who still has to make his "one step" towards others. And it's possible that it will be related just to Toga and maybe offering her an escape alone, but given that trying to save Twice alone didn't work and given Hawks' important ties to the Todoroki family, I'm expecting his step to be perhaps something more systemic.