#and yet i will never lose mine until it's all truly over

[fionnaskyborn]

wish i could stop losing stuff irretrievably. some hardware error emptied out my recycle bin a couple days earlier. just to shit on a day i'd spent being genuinely happy about the art i create. i guess. i'm tired of compromises, sick of lying that "it wasn't that important anyway", and throwing up at "oh well, can't be helped".

and yet. and yet. despite every pain, both major and minor, the love is there. the love is still there. guess i've just somehow miraculously hit that point (or gone past it a long time ago) where every grievance beyond a certain amount hurts an unspeakable amount more than it should. and it stacks. probably went overboard a while back. don't know when.

still, i adore my project. still got someone in whose arms i feel safe. hope i'll get out someday. hope i'll get a win.

[lanayrutower]

i'm about to throw hands with this yt poll.

this is the zelda version of that twitter butch post to me.

[moonchild9350]

Sign the Dotted Line (Chapter Four)

Summary: Minho is at your apartment as it seems like he wants to put the past behind both of you. However, are you both truly out of rocky waters?

Pairing: idol Minho x fab reader

Genre: angst, smut-18+ MDNI

Word Count: 5.0k

Warnings: oral sex (m and f receiving), p in v penetration, creampie, spanking, dirty talk, mention of breeding, subspace, just mean Minho

Notes: We have reached the climax of the story so to say and um I apologize in advance for what's about to come. This chapter is definitely a rollercoaster of emotions. Let me know what you think-my inbox is open!

Likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated.

New chapters posted on Saturdays at 1pm CST!

Series Summary: You are living an ordinary life until one day you come across a notice from your favorite band Stray Kids, that the company is looking for a girlfriend for one of it's members Lee Minho. Thinking you have nothing else to lose, you apply. This one action causes your life to change forever.

Series Masterlist

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or report this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

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Minho smiled at you, his bunny teeth peaking out from behind his lips. He was proud of you, as you obeyed his commands. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, watching as you leaned your head into his touch. He pressed a kiss to your lips before nipping at your bottom lip. He has you right where he wants you.

“Wanna show me to your room?” Minho asked.

You nodded your head and shuffled off his lap. Minho got up after you and followed you to your bedroom. You watched as he looked around your room, his eyes taking in the surroundings before landing on the bed. You were no virgin and yet here you were nervous. Minho made you feel like a school girl again, a feeling you definitely hadn’t felt in a long time.

Minho walked over to you and reached for the hem of your shirt, his eyes searching yours for permission. You gave a small nod of your head. He began to lift the shirt up and over your head, tossing it to the floor. His eyes roamed up your body, a smirk on his face.

“You’re beautiful baby. And you’re all mine,” Minho said as he pushed you onto the bed. You laid there, watching him as he stared down at you.

“Whose are you baby?” He asked.

“Yo..yours,” you stuttered, clenching your thighs together at his possessiveness. You’re not sure what is happening as you’re not usually this obedient, especially in bed, but something about Minho just makes you want to fall to your knees and worship the ground he walks on. You want him, no you need him, and you’ll do anything he tells you to make it happen.

Minho watched you, lust in his eyes, his cock hard, and his brain going haywire. He’s never felt this way about a person, the overwhelming need to claim you as his own.

“Damn straight you are,” he said as he stripped himself of his shirt and sweats.

He stood before you in only his boxers. He watched as you propped yourself up on your elbows, taking him in, licking your lips as your eyes lingered on his bulge. He smirked at you, walking closer to the edge of the bed.

“Want to show me what a good girl you are?” He asked, lifting your chin with his fingers so you could look him in the eyes.

You nodded your head, “yes Minho, want to show you.”

He hummed at your response, you were learning fast on how to respond to him.

“Take out my cock and suck it baby.”

You swallowed before reaching your hand into his boxers, gripping the hard appendage. He felt heavy in your hand. You swiped your finger over the slit, spreading the pre-cum around the tip. You looked up into Minho’s eyes, fluttering your lashes as you gazed into his brown orbs . You watched as he bit his lip, as you pushed his boxers down, Minho stepping out of them and kicking them to the side.

You grabbed his cock, stroking the shaft a few times before placing a kiss on the head. Minho shivered, letting out a shaky breath.

“Spit on it baby, go on,” Minho said.

Spitting on the head, you pumped your hand a few more times before wrapping your lips around the tip. You suckled the tip, pressing your tongue into the slit, tasting the precum leaking from tip. You moaned at the salty taste, the vibration causing his cock to twitch in your mouth. You released his cock from your mouth with a pop before running your tongue from the base back up to the head. Minho let out a groan, as he grabbed your head and pushed you forward so you could take more of him. You felt the tip of his cock kiss the back of your throat, causing you to gag, as tears formed in your eyes.

Minho picked up the pace, guiding your head, as he fucked your face. He let us head fall back as his let out a grunt. Your mouth felt amazing, nice and warm around his cock. He looked down at you, watching the tears fall down your face which each thrust of his hips, your pretty pink lips wrapped around his length. He loved watching you eyes flutter close and then open to look at him with such need. God you were beautiful on your knees taking everything he gave you. He loved the mess, watching as spit dribbled from your mouth and down your chest.

“Fuck baby, your mouth,” Minho groaned out, increasing his pace as he slammed his hips into your face.

The sounds coming from your mouth was beyond his wildest dreams as you took him. He could have said he loved you in that moment. Thank goodness he didn’t though, thinking with his brain instead of his cock. He quickened his pace, slamming you into pelvis, watching you take his dick to the hilt like a good girl. He felt close, the feel of your wet, warm mouth around him too much to take.

“Gonna cum baby,” he groaned.

You moaned around his length, letting him know you heard him. You stilled and just let him use your mouth. Tears continued to fall from your eyes as you tried your best to look Minho in the eyes.

You wanted to watch him fall apart, this beautiful man in front of you. He looked lost in pleasure, as he fucked your mouth, his moans getting louder and louder. He snapped his hips a few more times before stilling, rope after rope of his hot cum hitting the back of your throat.

Minho let out a shaky breath as he pulled his softening dick from your mouth. He tilted your head up, looking down at your ruined face. What a sight he was greeted with, as you had dried tears on your cheeks, with fresh tears welling in the corners of your eyes. your lips were wet with spit, some of it dribbling down your chin.

He smiled at you and then said, “open up, let me see my cum on your tongue baby.”

You opened your mouth, letting Minho see his release. He stroked your cheek at your obedience, as you leaned into his touch.

“Now swallow every drop,” Minho commanded, watching as your closed your mouth and swallowed. You opened wide afterwards to show him you did what he asked, a smile on his face as he watched.

“Lay back baby, spread your legs for me.”

You did as he said, laying on your back and spreading your legs, your pussy on display drenched with your slick. Minho’s eyes were trained at your core, as he kneeled down and pulled you closer to him. He spread your folds before licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit, as you mewled out at the sensation. Minho pulled your clit into his mouth, rolling the bud around his tongue before giving you kitten licks. His mouth felt amazing, as he made out with your pussy, spit and arousal dripping down your folds and onto your sheets below. You started to lift your hips up and down, riding his face as he brought his tongue to your entrance, pushing the muscle into your wet walls.

You were getting close. You were getting close? Before you knew it, you exploded on his tongue, the feeling of your release spreading throughout your body. You wrapped your legs around his face and grabbed Minho’s head, as you ground your pussy against his face, riding out your high. As you came down, you loosened your hold, letting out deep breaths. You have never came that fast from a man eating you out. You were shocked that you did, as you felt on cloud nine.

Minho lifted his head and stood up as he wiped his lips. You watched as he manhandled you onto your hands and knees and pushed your face into the sheets. God he loved your ass, he thought as he fondled the flesh, giving it a slap as he watched the flesh jiggle. He stroked his cock a few times, running it through your folds, coating it in your slick.

“Ready for me baby?” He asked.

You whined out at his question as you were more than ready. You felt another slap on your ass, causing you to whimper at the sting.

“Answer me, brat,” Minho sneered. He listened to your whines and whimpers, the sounds music to his ears. “Do you want my dick baby? Yes or no, it’s not that hard.”

You let out a loud whine before whimpering out, “yes Minho! I want your dick. Please give me you dick, please please,” the last words getting softer as your whimpered.

You felt tears fall from your eyes once more. Never have you felt so small, so little in a man’s hands. The thing about it was you enjoyed it, you craved it, wanted Minho to put you in your place. You were his after all, at his mercy. You could hear him behind you, breathing in and out, the occasional squelch as he stroked his cock. You waited and waited until you felt his tip breach your entrance. He slammed into you, the stretch being a little much, as Minho was bigger than you’ve ever had, but the pain as he evaded your little hole felt more than good. You let out a loud moan as he bottomed out to the hilt. He didn’t let you adjust, and instead he pulled out and slammed back in, your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

Minho began to fuck you in earnest, as he slammed his hips into you. He felt himself slipping as he got lost in the feel of your walls wrapped around his cock. You were perfect, your walls sucking him in with each thrust. He gripped your hips harder, pounding into you, harder and harder, your cries getting louder and louder. He’s sure the neighbors will know his name by the end of the night, not that he cares.

“You’re so tight. This pussy feels too good. Fuck” Minho breathed out, focusing on your walls stretching around his cock. He wasn’t going to last long and judging by the way you were clenching around him and babbling, you won’t either.

“Gonna cum, baby. Gonna fill you up, breed this pussy. It’s mine, all mine. Right?”

Minho sped up the thrusts of his hips, desperate to reach his high and unload into you. He was going to give it all to you, he wanted it to take. That way you would have his babies, no one would dare question who you belonged to then.

You were a babbling mess, feeling like you were floating as Minho abused your pussy. You tried to focus on what Minho was saying, but you couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, as you felt the pressure in your belly build and build. Minho was fucking you so good, your body being thrusted upwards with each thrust. You closed your eyes to succumb to the pleasure when you felt a sharp sting on your ass. You yelped, surprised by the sudden act.

“What the fuck did I say? You answer me when I ask you a question, or are you so dumb you can't answer me,” Minho said, his hips never slowing down. His hand landed on your ass again and again, until the flesh was red.

You cried out with each smack. You quickly thought back to what Minho asked you, not sure if you’d remember as your brain felt all fuzzy. After a minute, it clicked.

“Yes! Yes! I’m yours Minho. Breed me, give me your cum.”

Minho smiled, satisfied with your answer. His hand came down once more on your ass. He listened as you let out a wail, your pussy spasming around his dick as you came, a steady stream of your arousal gushing out of your pussy and onto him, the sheets, your thighs. Watching you fall apart beneath him triggered his release as he snapped his hips into yours once more before stiliing, his cum spurting out and painting your walls white.

You both stayed in that position for a little before Minho slowly pulled out. You whimpered at the loss, as you felt his cum drip down your thighs. You let out little cries, as you attempted to come down, your mind a jumbled mess. Minho was quick to notice and took you into his arms, cradling you to his chest.

“You did so good for me baby,” he cooed, brushing your hair and tears from your face. “Come back to me now.”

It took a moment, your breathing coming back to normal, little hiccups wrecking through your body. After a while you looked up into his eyes, noticing concern laced throughout his face. You braced yourself as he raised his hand, only to bring it to your face to wipe more of your tears away.

“Are you ok?” He asked gently.

“I’m ok,” you whispered.

He smiled at you before laying you back down on the bed. “I’ll be back ok?” Minho said. You watched as he walked to your bathroom. You heard water running and then Minho was walking back into your room. He had a warm washcloth with him. He carefully wiped you down, wiping all of the fluids off your body. He tossed the towel in your hamper before picking you up and laying you down under the covers. He followed suit and wrapped his arms around you.

“Was I too rough with you?” Minho whispered, as his hands drifted through your hair.

You shook your head no. He searched your face, making sure you were truly ok. Seeing that you were, he pulled you closer. “Let’s get some sleep ok?”

You nodded your head, closing your eyes as you listened to the rhythm of his heart. You would be sore in the morning, that you knew, but you honestly didn’t mind. You and Minho had finally made progress in your relationship. You’ll be honest in thinking it was nothing like you expected, but you weren’t complaining. You loved the possessive side of him. You hoped things will last, finally feeling completely happy since you got to Korea.

The next morning, you felt something tickling your neck. You tried to brush it off but the feeling remained. Opening your eyes, you found Minho fast asleep next to you, his breath fanning out onto your neck being the culprit of waking you up from your slumber.

You took a moment to look at Minho and study his features. He looked peaceful while sleeping, his eyes fluttering as he slept. His hair fanned across his face, the locks making him look gentle and sweet. You were so lost in your reverie that you hadn’t noticed Minho had woken up.

“What are you looking at?” He said, a smirk on his face.

You blushed as he said this, embarrassed that you got caught. You averted your eyes and tried to move away, but Minho just pulled you closer to his chest.

“Don’t leave. You can look as much as you want. I’m your boyfriend right?”

You shivered at the term as you snuggled closer. You felt at home in his arms, never wanting to leave. However, all good things must come to an end as Minho’s alarm went off. He sighed and reached for his phone turning the alarm off.

“I have to go, gotta get ready for schedule today. Will you be coming to the building?”

“Not until later. I have work first.”

Minho hummed at your response as he gave you a peck on your head and got up. You watched as he padded his way to the bathroom, his lean muscles flexing with each step he took. Your boyfriend was damn good looking. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

You got up as well, stretching as you got out of bed. After getting dressed, you made your way to the kitchen to get started on making coffee. As you were measuring out the grounds, you felt Minho’s arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close to his body. He buried his head in your hair, holding you close.

“I’ll see you later ok?” He said, pressing soft kisses to your neck.

You nodded your head and turned slightly to look him in the eyes. His brown eyes stared back at you until he leaned forward to press a kiss to your lips. You sighed at the kiss, feeling his lips upturn in a smirk at the sound. Giving you a squeeze, he dropped his arms and walked to the door, pulling his shoes on before leaving.

You stood there in the kitchen, in a daze as the last night replayed in your head. You could barely believe it, and if it wasn’t for the ache between your legs, you would say you were dreaming. Shaking your head, you went back to your task, as you had to get ready for work so as not be late. You couldn’t wait for this afternoon, so you could see Minho again.

Your day went by quickly, as it was a busy day. It was a hot day so people kept coming in to cool off and of course order drinks. You were exhausted come the end of your shift, your back and shoulders aching. It didn’t help that your boss made you stay overtime to help with the afternoon rush.

Once six o’clock rolled around, you clocked out and said your goodbyes, happy to be leaving. You were off for the next 3 days, so you’d be able to rest. You made up a box of goodies, as a surprise for the boys. You had picked out a bunch of assorted pastries that you knew they would love.

You made your way towards the building, practically skipping, excited to see Minho. You were constantly reminded of your night together all day as the soreness between your legs had yet to disappear. It had been a long time since you were happy to meet with the boys. Of course you always were excited to see the others, but usually Minho’s mood dampened your enthusiasm.

Once your arrived, you took the elevator up to the practice rooms and made your way down the halls until you got to the room Stray Kids was in. Opening the door, you were met with the scene of the boys in a pile, poor Jeongin at the bottom. He was squealing and trying to push his hyungs off him, but to no avail. You gigged at the scene, the love they had for each other was inspiring and cute. At the sound of your giggle, all eight heads looked your way.

“Y/n!” Jisung yelled, disentangling himself from the others and running to pull you into a hug.

You laughed at Jisung’s enthusiasm, as you gave him a one handed hug. “Nice to see you Ji,” you said, trying not to drop the box of pastries. Jisung let you go and looked down at your hands.

“Is that for us?” Jisung asked as he looked at you with hope in his eyes. You nodded your head and set the box of pastries down on the nearby table.

“I thought you guys would need a treat after working so hard today.”

All of them rushed to the box, opening it up to see what was there. You watched as they fought over who would get what, a smile on your face. After everyone picked out their treat, they all sat down to eat, silence falling over the practice room as they stuffed their faces.

“Thanks y/n,” Chan said as he nibbled on his croissant.

You nodded your head and went to sit next to Minho who was sitting on the couch. He looked startled, his eyes growing wide as you scooted closer to him. Minho gave you a look, one you hadn’t seen in awhile, as he watched you get as close as you could to him. He scooted away from you, squeezing himself next to Hyunjin who grumbled at being disturbed from eating his pastry. You were confused as to why he moved away and not understanding why he looked at you that way.

The boys sitting on the floor saw the interaction, confusion on their faces as well. They thought you two had been getting along much better recently. Minho was over the moon this morning. They knew something happened between you two as Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin revealed he never came home last night after taking a walk. Guess they were wrong.

You sat there slightly hurt, not sure why Minho tried to get away from you. Surely you were over this little feud that has been going on since you arrived. His attitude seemed to change over the last week or so, his emotions being more docile. The man was railing you within an inch of your life last night after all. Where was sweet Minho or hell even possessive Minho? You twiddled your thumbs, listening to the boys chatter, your eyes dashing to Minho every now and then. He interacted normally with the others, no hint of malice in his tone.

Everytime you said something, answering one of the boys questions or just talking with them, Minho would glare at you, pure annoyance on his face. Eventually, you just stopped talking altogether, as you felt hurt at his reactions towards you.

Soon they had to get back to practice, everyone standing up, brushing crumbs off their pants. Many of the boys left the room for bathroom breaks before getting started. Felix and Hyunjin remained, seated on the couches talking to each other, while Minho walked over to his bag near the stereo .

Should you approach him now? Practice was just starting back. You definitely didn’t want to interrupt practice, souring the room with your concerns. However, you didn’t want to ignore what has happened. You decided to wait, watching as the others made their way back in, ready to get back to practice.

Practice went on without a hitch. You watched as they messed around, having a great time. You specifically watched Minho and how he interacted with the others. He was laughing and chatting, his mood a complete 180 from before. You laughed and interacted with the others, but your mind was preoccupied, your brain just wouldn't turn off.

Chan came up to you, plopping down on the couch next to you. You leaned your head against his shoulder, letting out a breath. You felt exhausted, as they day caught up to you. You nuzzled your head further into Chan's shoulder, feeling comfortable, the tension in your body slowly ebbing away.

“What’s wrong y/n?” Chan asked, concern on his face.

“It’s nothing,” you said as you closed your eyes. “Just tired.”

Chan hummed. “I feel ya. We’re about done anyway. You can go home if you want.”

You shook your head, “no I need to talk to Minho.”

Chan looked at you and sighed. He knew this wasn’t going to end well, or maybe it would. Time would only tell.

Minho stood in the corner, chatting with Seungmin. He looked your way, shock crossing his face as he saw you lean your head on Chan’s shoulder. You seemed pretty comfortable, even briefly closing your eyes. He felt heat rise in his body, the feeling traveling up his legs, chest, and face, his ears turning red. He was furious. Why was he furious? He shouldn’t be. It’s Chan. Your his girlfriend. He claimed you last night. So why the fuck were you seeking comfort with another man, even if it was another one of the members. He turned his attention back to Seungmin finishing their discussion about a particular move they learned today at practice. He could think about this later.

Practice was over, everyone gathering their bags. Most of the boys left except for Hyunjin, Felix, and Jisung, as they hung around to talk and probably wait for Minho. Minho himself was packing up his bag, his back turned to you. You thought it’s now or never as you got up from the couch. You walked over to Minho, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Um Minho?” You shyly asked, not sure how he would react.

Minho turned to you, his eyes narrowed. He stayed silent as he just stared at you. You guess he wasn’t going to say anything so you went ahead and spoke first.

“Is something wrong? You um…you haven’t spoken to me all day and you’ve been uhh kinda ignoring me,” you said, rocking on your heels as you spoke.

Minho looked at you a moment , studying your face. He could see the turmoil behind your eyes. You were probably confused. Hell he was confused.

Of course, instead of taking it in stride and just answering you truthfully, he blurted out, “why would I need to speak to you?”

There was malice in his tone, which he never used with you. You were taken aback at his question and reaction, your eyes widening. What did he mean why did he need to speak to you, let alone just treat you like a human being? You were his girlfriend. You could feel your heart race faster, as the anger welled up in you and felt like a weight crushing your chest.

Taking a breath, you said, “I thought we were pass this? We were fine the last few days, not too mention last night. Did that mean anything to you?

At the mention of last night, Minho’s faced turned red. He knew you would mention that. He was kicking himself for being vulnerable with you then, not keeping up with the nonchalant facade.

He straightened up and looked you right in the eyes as he contemplated what to say next. Minho loved your eyes, especially when they were on him and only him, but now they were filled with hurt, confusion, and pain.

Getting caught up in his emotions he before said, “Listen closely y/n, leave me alone. Don’t talk to me, don’t touch me, don’t even look at me, unless it’s for an event. I think it’s for the best.”

You took a step back, nearly tripping over your feet. You could feel tears welling in your eyes. You tried to hold them back, wanting to appear strong in front of Minho. Felix, Hyunjin, and Jisung heard Minho’s outburst and looked over, shock on their faces.

What the fuck was Minho’s problem? You were getting real tired of his back and forth emotions, one day treating you like you were his everything and the next like you didn’t even exist. It was confusing as hell and what he just said hurt you. Did he think he could just use you or play with your emotions like this?

No, you weren’t going to let him win. You wiped the tears from your eyes and squaring your shoulders, you looked Minho in his eyes, not wanting to show fear.

“Fuck you Minho,” you said. “I’m not sure what I did to you, but I’m tired of this. One day you’re nice and sweet and other days you’re like this, a totally different person, a toxic person to be honest. Frankly, I’m getting tired of it. I don’t appreciate being used. I’m sick of your shit.”

You were seeing red, your emotions running high. You felt dizzy, not realizing you were holding your breath, the anger boiling within you. You clenched your fists, holding them at your side. You needed to get out of here before you did or said something you would regret.

The other boys were retuning, cautiously making their way into the room after the others didn’t make it to the car. They looked between the two of you, the tension palpable in the room. No one dared say a word, or breath for that matter.

Minho looked at you for a moment. He was shocked at your outburst. You had your claws out and you were ready to strike. Why did that turn him on? He liked watching you fight, try to reason with him. He liked watching you squirm. He knew he was about to fuck up your relationship as usual.

“Like I said before y/n, leave me alone. You’re only here because the company wanted you here, don’t think there’s something between us, because there’s not. Last not meant nothing. If you don’t like me then leave.”

Shit, he didn’t mean to say that. The words just kept coming, fueled by his jealousy and annoyance from the day. There’s no way you’ll just accept what he said, he couldn’t blame you. You had a look of pure hatred on your face, one in which made him shiver slightly.

You couldn’t believe his words. He wanted you to leave. Wow, what an asshole. You knew things were too good to be true. Maybe you should go, find someway to get out of this toxic situation. You haven’t been truly happy for a while, the happiness from last night was definitely short lived.

Gathering the last of your courage, your fists clenching and unclenching at your side, you said, “you don’t need me? Fine you get your wish. I’m sure your manager can help me get out of this contract cause I’m done.”

You turned on your heels and marched toward the door, past the boys shocked faces. You tried not to look at them, knowing that if you did you would burst into tears and you did not want to show that type of weakness in front of Minho…not anymore at least.

Minho couldn’t stop himself as he called after you, “good! Hope it works out so I don’t have to see your face anymore!”

The boys looked at Minho. They couldn’t believe what they were witnessing. Were things really that bad? Surely Minho didn’t mean what he said. But it seemed he did as Minho did not try to run after you. He just stood there and watched, his chest rising and falling in anger, his face red from the argument.

They watched as you reached the door and paused with your hand on the door knob. You didn’t turn around but lifted your left hand, flicking off Minho before saying your last words.

“Fuck you Minho.”

They watched as you opened the door and walked out, the door slamming behind you. They all looked at each other, horrified looks on their faces before they all collectively looked at Minho. This was not good and they doubt Minho could fix it.

Your relationship may have been damaged beyond repair.

Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @thesilvernight0wl @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus @kaysungshine @artemisdoe @emily21morgan @athforskz @jazziwritesthings @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @jisunglyricist @tsunderelino @hyuneyeon @sillyhal @queenmea604

[whalesforhands]

what’s yours is mine (6/?)

previous masterlist next

pairing: geto suguru x reader x gojo satoru

You don’t know a lot of things, and you readily admit that. What you do know, is that the friends you’ve made aren’t something you will ever regret. Until your physical body weakens and becomes nothing, you’re more than happy to give your all until you wither away.

What’s yours can be theirs, too. They’re your friends, after-all. (Omegaverse AU)

You always thought that there was something off about your dearest friend. Something that you just can never be sure of no matter how much you watch him, no matter how much you scrutinize and prod at his cheek with a deductive finger and a furrow of your brows.

It’s like finding the secret twist like in that one detective show. You gotta look hard, look deep into someone; something to really find what you’re truly looking for.

Because it could be right in front of your very eyes.

“Mhfm?” Geto Suguru is tilting his head at you through a spoonful of ice cream, letting you examine him carefully to the fullest of your ability just as you pinch one of his cheeks in between surveying fingers.

Pinch. Pull. Pinch. Stretch it out lightly. Let go.

He swallows as you grab his nose, squeezing lightly and feeling the cartilage sink under your touch.

Squishy.

“Is… There something on my face?” He blinks at you, squeezes his eyes closed when you start to squeeze a little harder with a cute frown that was teetering on a pout, with his voice amusingly nasally from your actions.

Yet, despite all that, you can’t seem to put a finger on it at all.

“Probably ugliness.” Gojo Satoru’s crude remark is heard from within an impish giggle, his lips smeared with cold ice cream as he licks the remnants away with a nimble tongue. “Ya looked in a mirror lately?”

“Nope,” Geto Suguru replies, irritation evident in his tone as his eyebrow starts to twitch, the smile still holding strong on his face as he feels you twirl a strand of his hair. “You’re around me so much that they all start breaking by themselves.”

And the air tenses, silence permeating before it breaks into yelled insults.

“Ya offended me, so you have to gimme all your ice cream!”

“Haaah?! That doesn’t make any sense at all, you greedy scammer! Y’er gonna lose the rest of your teeth!”

“Kimi-chan said it was just my baby teeth falling out!”

(It’s true. There’s a hole in your mouth right now from where you had spat out your tooth after a pretty bad fall yesterday.)

Such is the relationship between your friends. You guess that it isn’t so bad even when they practically start glaring at each other as Gojo purposely lunges for a jaw-dropping, comically large bite of ice cream that wasn’t his.

Narrowly would he have tackled you had it not been for Suguru pushing you away, the force toppling you over and making you now lay down uselessly upon your back, staring up at the ceiling of your own room and watching the sway of your ceiling lamp as you hear the both of them gasp, a spoon clattering onto the tatami of your floor just as little feet rush over to you.

“(n-name)?!” Worried and panicked as a bandaid covered hand smooths over your face.

“Oi, look what ya did!” Rough and jittery.

“I did it cause you’re dumb and blind!” Irritated and fretful.

These ones are easy to tell, easy to see exactly what they feel. So… You think they’re getting along exceptionally well these days. Especially when your eyes begin to stare up at their worried faces and prodding questions.

It makes you think harder than you did just moments before. Maybe it was a good thing that the back of your head was hit so hard.

“Everyone has their own secrets,” She began, pulling at its sleeves and smoothening out the wrinkles upon the damp shirt as it flutters out, the water having been wrung out thoroughly. “It’s only a matter if you find out or not.”

If you find out, huh? Mama says it’s rude to ask someone outright. Yet, it’s not enough of an answer to deter you.

“But what if I really, really wanna know something, Mama?”

“I suppose…” She glances down at you briefly as another pillowcase is pinned onto the clothing rack, the brand new, softer fabric starting to billow in the soft wind. “They’ll have to decide for themselves on whether or not they want to tell you.”

That’s annoying. Your shoulders slump and you pout, your foot continuously giving light kicks to the basket of clothing pegs as you squeeze the elastane plastic currently in your hand.

“But I’m sure that if you both were close enough,” She begins again just as your hand plops another pin onto her open palm. “They’d tell you outright.”

That gives you hope, you suppose. Only a little.

“Do you have any secrets, Mama?” It’s your curious eyes and small grin of mischief that catch her eye first as you hear her give you an inconclusive hum in reply.

The last of the laundry flutters with the wind, your knees bending and your hand reaching for the final clothespin to hand off to her as she stares off into the sky for a little bit, a certain look in her eye that you can’t exactly put your finger on but swear that you’re just upon the tip of discerning—

Before you feel a hand on your hand ruffling your hair as you blink, breaking you out of your train of investigative thought.

“Not at all.”

(“But I know you snuck a bite of the cream puffs I bought before dinner.” You feel a tap to your nose when she squats down to be eye level with you, a gasp of shock and your hands immediately slapping over your mouth a little too late.

How did she know?! How did she find out?! You even learned how to close that flimsy, silly little cardboard back correctly and as neatly as possible! Is your Mama a mind reader—

“You had cream on your nose all this time, dear.”)

You don’t know how to go about it, so you ask the next person you trust the most in this whole wide world.

Maybe that was your first mistake.

“Hah?” Gojo Satoru is staring up at you through those long eyelashes as he makes you pat his head, your hand smoothening out those rough strands of cloud white as you sit on your legs to better accommodate to his, admittedly, hard to discern whims.

(Mama did say he was ‘clingy’ after all.)

Maybe your pillows are just too cheap for someone so rich like him, too low quality to even be considered acceptable for his standards… Which is why he always has to make do with your lap despite how your legs start to get really tired after being stuck like this right after waking up.

(But if it’s for your friends, you’d do a lot of things for them. Even if you think your legs are gonna go numb and fall off…)

“I don’t know anythin’ about that uggo!” He’s quiet for once, finally learning to keep his voice small in these early mornings when the sky is still trapped in a dim blue and the sun had only started to peek over the horizon to say good morning to the world, his shiny eyes watching you lazily blink your bleary sleepiness away.

It’s one of those early weekend mornings where it would be just the both of you, the whirl of your fan beside your futon, those partially drawn curtains and breakfast that Kimiko-san had brought over sitting upon your kitchen counter downstairs.

(Mama is very grateful for Kimiko-san. You’ve seen her bow so profusely to her as she pushes the nicely packaged bag of tea she bought just yesterday with you into the maidservant’s hands before she left for work the other day.)

“Are you both still fighting?” You hear him whine just that little bit more when you rub against that spot near his ears, palms moulding into his scalp and your fingers scratching against the parts he usually gives in at— The parts that make him much more susceptible to talk even if he was being stubborn and puffing his cheeks at you.

“Hmph…!”

You’re actually… Kind of relieved Suguru isn’t here to retort back. It’s too early in the morning, and you’d feel really bad if he woke up too soon.

He needs to sleep well to keep his prettiness. That much you’re sure of, when you compare him to your cute friend who wakes up too early in the morning to come hang out with you, anyway.

“You shouldn’t be angry, Satoru.” Your thumb pokes at the crease between his brows to make him relax them before your arms shift to be hugging around his head, the soft scent of his expensive shampoo in your nose as you close your eyes and gently relax.

“You’ll make me sad.”

And that has him going limp in your hold, tension leaving his body as he watches your face from the corner of his eye.

You’re stupid. And dumb. And stupid stupid stupid stupid—!

“W-well I’ll forgive him if you don’t invite him over today!” He’s stuttering through his cute cherry cheeks, alight with a red so sweet you think he might actually turn into a cherry himself. “Ya h-have to hang out with only m-me today!”

That does sound a little unfair on Suguru’s end. So you compromise.

“Then can we go to his house later then? Geto-mama said her husband got some souvenirs from Hakone.” And a lot, too.

He stops complaining— Starkly silent as you continue to hug your cute friend. He feels so nice to hug.

You’re using his biggest weaknesses against him and it isn’t fair! So he has to actively contemplate, weighing the pros and cons as your cheek rubs so softly against him…

“How to get your friend to listen to you?” Your Mama blinks at you as she turns away from the TV that was still playing, head inquisitively tilted to the side as you blink back at her.

You think she has an inkling of what— And more specifically, who you’re talking about. She lets out a chuckle when she notices you’re staring at her too intensely, hyper focused on her answer as you waited with bated breath.

You really need to listen to her advice.

“You don’t actually have to try much, sweetie.” She shifts a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, smoothening it down and combing through it slightly. “Just be yourself.”

“F-Fine!” He huffs and puffs and pats your hand, a signal for you to let go, thoroughly embarrassed now that his entire face was ablaze with a hot blush.

You didn’t glean anything about Suguru from him after all, but at least you know he likes your shared pretty friend more than he lets on.

(He wouldn’t have agreed so readily otherwise, even with the promise of snacks.)

So you confide in someone else who would definitely know more than you. Someone who you trust more than you do yourself… Even if he ranked like— 7th on the list after Sailor Moon and Pikachu.

(You tried talking to them through the TV screen. They don’t really seem to be replying… They’re too busy being heroes like you, after all.)

“How to get your friend to tell you somethin’?” He’s raising a brow at you as his legs spread far too wide and take up way too much space, a yawn escaping his too big mouth and making the scar on his lips even more prominent than it already was… All whilst you were the one with his beaten up book bag settled on your lap that you had picked up after he unceremoniously tossed it aside.

“How the hell would I know?”

You’ve resorted to asking him for help as you let the leather of his bag settle upon you, your thighs jutting it up every few moments or so as you play with it. It’s surprisingly light, as if it didn’t have much— Or anything inside of it.

“You look smart.” You blink up at those dull green eyes of his, fingers playing with the metal buckles and watching as he tussled with his own hair when he practically rolled his eyes at your reply. “So I wanna ask you.”

“Well kid, do I look like a fucking—“ He clicks his tongue in realization at his wording, taking a breath in through clenched teeth and glaring down at your curious blinking eyes before averting his gaze, fingers moving to be pinching the skin between his brows as he lets out a deep sigh.

Exasperatedly. As if he gave up.

“Shi— Fine.” A roll of his eyes as they drift off to the side, as if he was thinking for a little bit as you sit beside him with your legs hanging off the ledge of the wooden bench you were both seated on.

You win. He’ll hand down all his secret knowledge to you now to let you gain experience points.

He‘s mostly quiet even when he’s not all that deep in contemplation, only a few grunts here and there when he finds himself staring into the setting orange of the sky.

(Adults must really like doing that. You’re glad you already have one thing in common with them. Can you be an adult now too?)

“Just beat their asses. People are easy and will tell ya anything when they’re on the ground tryin’ not to piss their pants.” He ends with a bit of a deranged chuckle as you watch how his curled up fists began to twitch.

He’s… Definitely scary-ish. If you cared to put enough thought into how frightfully intimidating this almost adult is, anyway.

(For some reason, you aren’t scared of him at all…)

A blink. And another as you try to process his words clearly. You don’t really get it. Violence won’t solve much in the long term, and you’re not exactly open to roughing it up with anyone…

“But what if I don’t wanna beat up my friend?” Now you’re the one frowning, lips turned downwards and brows furrowed together as you clutch his bag closer against your chest.

Oh, how it scares you to even think about messing up Suguru’s pretty face… How would you ever admire it anymore?!

“Oi, I gave ya a solution. Quit whining.” There’s a rumble in his throat, dismissive disdain and annoyance in his tone as he pulls out his cellphone, lifting the cover up to reveal a cracked screen as he mashes on buttons that you don’t really know how to use well.

“If you’re gonna complain, just pry it out of him yourself, you brat.”

Pry… It out yourself? And… If he likes you enough he’ll tell you… He’ll tell you if you tried. Try. Oh. Ohhh. Ohhhh!

And you’ve jumped up onto your feet, carefully making sure his dusty bag didn’t fall to the dustier ground as you hold it above your head in celebration, a wide grin on your face and your eyes sparkling in victory, showing off the bag as if it were a grand prize you had obtained through arduous competition.

“Mister, I always knew you were smarter than you looked!”

(“The fuc— Hell is that s’pposed to mean?”)

——

“Oh hello! How have you been, dear?” Geto-mama is the one that’s greeting you this time around, patting her hands dry on her apron, already squatting down the moment she had spotted you and opening her arms up with that cooing look on her face.

You indulge her, despite that mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“My! You’re always such a sweetheart to me!” You can feel her heartbeat pick up just as she squeezes you to her chest, your cheek resting against the soft fabric of her shirt as you blink. “Gotta thank your Mama for raising you so cutely! I don’t need to make a daughter if I already have someone as adorable as you are, dearie!”

There she goes talking again, with your face pressed inbetween her soft chest no less. It feels really nice though.

Her boobies are so big…

“Gosh, it’s only been a few years but you already look so grown up! I wonder just how many years I have left before I won’t be able to pick you up like this anymore!” You feel her practically swing you around when your feet leave the ground. “Goodness me, you are so cute!”

You tune her out, patting her back lightly as she squeezes you ever impossibly closer. Geto-mama is so strong. You hope to grow up as healthily as her when you get older.

“Are you here alone today? Suguru’s off with his Papa to the market for a bit.” And she has an arm supporting your bottom, cooing at you with a blissed out look on her face as she carries you to the living room.

“Mhm. Satoru can’t come t’day.” He’s busy with extra lessons, learning… Um, you think it was an instrument. You tug at the strings with a stick and put your chin on the tiny guitar.

“Oho~? Then how about having a chat with an old lady while waiting?”

Sounds like a plan. You don’t have anything else to do today anyway. And you can’t exactly play Suguru’s board games by yourself, that’s no fun.

“Okay. And you’re not old, Geto-mama. You look like you could be my older sister.”

(Mama told you any lady would be flattered if you said that.)

“Oh my goodness me! I could faint just by listening to you compliment me!” A hand to her forehead for the added dramatics. “I’ve got some banana teacakes and some senbei! Which would you prefer, darling?”

If Suguru is the only one coming later, then…

“Senbei, please.”

(“Oh, you’re so darling and polite! I simply cannot stop swooning over you!”

Mama did say Geto-mama had her heels over her head for you once. You don’t know what that means, but you assume it must be pretty good if she fusses over you so much. Like one of those kind, but slightly overbearing grandmas in the shows you watch.)

You’re blowing away the steam from the piping cup of warm milk in your hands, a slight mustache from the remnants of the drink upon your upper lip as you poke your tongue out to lick it away.

“And then Suguru helped Kanade-san get up even when he could’ve ran past him.” You pause momentarily to recount the time a little more. “Kanade-san is a super fast runner, and everyone thought Suguru was gonna lose, but then he actually won.”

You take another sip as you let out another relaxed sigh.

“Suguru’s really cool.” And that is a given fact. He’s the coolest. Only Satoru could only come in a close second to be cool-lier. You’re really happy that you can call yourself his— Their friend.

“That… I’m assuming Suguru has been treating everyone well, then?” She’s smiling as she watches you snack on the rice crackers, her elbows on the table as she hums.

As well as he could be anyway, you think.

“Mhm. Suguru’s really polite. But I also told him that he needed to look out for people that will want to wish ill on him due to conflicting interests.” Your legs kick as you miss the way Geto-mama’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head from your nonchalant little advice spiel, taking another hearty sip of your milk before continuing.

“That’s what the zodiac sign lady on TV said about Aquariuses-es.”

A sigh of— Relief? From her.

“Ahaha, more from that astrology column you love so much, huh? You’re quite the attentive one, sweetie.” She smiles as her eyes close, a little chuckle leaving her. “I should be less worried, but I just can’t help it even if you’ve been such a good influence on him, dear.”

And she has every right to be, you’re pretty sure.

Geto Suguru did not get off scot-free after that little incident with your classmate. Disciplinary action was taken, parents were called in, and Suguru couldn’t come to school for a good 3 days.

But you don’t know the details other than that. Only heard those flying rumours that you didn’t pay much attention to as you walked past your chatty tables of your classmates.

“He broke Tachibana-kun’s hand…”

“He’s so violent!”

“My cousin from another town over said there was a really violent boy who looked really similar to him when I showed her my class photo—“

“Ehhh? No way, that couldn’t be Geto-san! When I talked to him he was so nice and polite!”

“Yeah, but! My cousin showed me a kindergarten photo and it looked just like him!”

“My mother did say that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover…”

You don’t care. You don’t care because ‘Listening to dreadful words that had no substance would lead you down a path that will not converge with what you wanted’. According to your zodiac sign that day, anyway.

But you believe it regardless.

“Geto-mama,” Your eyes watch her carefully, watch how her shoulders slumped and how her eyes shone with that characteristic confidence and how the way she carried that sure air always surrounding her.

“How has living here been?”

And she only smiles at you.

“Oho? Not going to ask why we moved here in the first place?” It has been a good 3 years since they moved in. There’s no use dwelling on the past if it’s all the way back then. “You didn’t ask even when we first moved in here, you know?”

She’s curious why you don’t pry.

You won’t care about such things. The past is the past, and Mama doesn’t like bringing up the past. The past is a secret you have to unlock with time, with careful prying and precision if you truly wanna know.

So you nod, blinking up at her with your eyes that spoke your truth, your now empty plastic cup tapping against the coaster as you settle it down and reach for another rice cracker from the bowl.

(Geto-mama prepared an even number of snacks. She’s so thoughtful.)

“Everybody’s got secrets. It depends on ‘em if they wanna tell or not.”

(Hehe. You sound like your Mama. You’re really proud of yourself for that.)

“Is that so?” She laughs again, an amused glimmer in her eye and a hand over her mouth as she hears the crunch of the senbei you were chewing on.

“Then I hope Suguru lets you know his secrets soon enough.”

The door clacks open, the telltale ring of the bell signalling that it had been unlocked as you hear the shift of those sturdy reusable bags Mama often uses to avoid the ¥10 extra charge on plastic bags, with a couple sets of shoes tappin against the stone genkan floors of the Geto house.

“Mama! We’re back!” His voice calls out with so much familiarity as you hear slippers clacking against hard ground. “Papa bought too many tomatoes cause they were on sale!”

“Already outing me to your mama, huh?”

“Ehehe.” His eyes cast downwards to better kick off the slipper that had accidentally clung to his foot— Ah, it’s getting so annoying to take them… Off?

Strappy sandals. Well-worn, straps undone with fraying ends and certainly, a very familiar set of sandals.

You. Were you already here? When did you come? Did you eat yet? How long have you been alone with his mother?

Regardless of all his thoughts, all his questions. One thing is for certain as he finally gets the stubborn shoe off running past his poor Papa trying to gather the bags as he runs down the hall and into the living room.

He’s excited to see you.

“Mama! Is (name) here?!”

And he spots you, so cheerily chewing on one of the hard rice crackers as his mother watches with a hearty smile that looked a little too smug.

“Oh my? Not going to help me and your Papa with the groceries?” And she’s already pushing back her chair as Suguru pouts at her.

“I can do it— Later.”

“Oh~ And if I don’t have any groceries for you to pack later?”

Hmph…

“I can help.” You’re speaking through the dry senbei you had just swallowed as your eyes lift up and off the table to meet his already staring purple that practically shone so bright. “Then Suguru and I can play together sooner, right?”

You’re so kind. So sweet. So nice to him.

“Ahaha, it’s alright you two. Have fun.” And she leaves. Geto-mama finally leaves as his feet practically start moving by themselves towards you. To be closer to you, to be near you.

“Hi.” He smiles at you, so softly and so sweetly with his eyes upturned into gentle crescents and his cheeks rosy red. “Did my mama talk ya ear off?”

He sounds almost out of breath. Shy.

It’s not the same boy the rumours in your class float around about at all. You’re super sure it isn’t as you let him take your hand to help you off the chair.

He doesn’t let go.

“I like your mama, though.”

And while you were always the one being asked to give hugs to Satoru— You just can’t seem to stop yourself from asking hugs from your Suguru as you squeeze his palm and stare at the sway of his bangs.

Hmph… He didn’t hug you yet.

“Suguru.” You tug at his hand when he’s humming, climbing onto his couch and signalling for you to follow suit as you start to pout.

“Suguru…”

“Hm?” He’s too busy staring down at your intertwined hands, a bit of a dopey smile on his face as he swings it back and forth.

He looks so happy.

So you don’t wanna interrupt him.

“What do you wanna do now?” Even if you’re pouting and sad that you didn’t get a greeting hug. You’ll settle for the handholding, you guess. Sigh.

“Well… Satoru might wanna watch Digimon right now.”

Uh— Huh? He’s not wrong, but… Satoru isn’t here right now. It’s a habit you’ve noticed… A lot actually.

“Satoru won’t like that.”

“You’re going to make me— No, Satoru mad if you talk to that boy.”

“Do you and Satoru like this a lot?”

As much as you’re happy that he likes your clingy friend a lot— It doesn’t help you learn enough about the your pretty neighbour; Geto Suguru.

Geto Suguru who likes to keep his hair long, Geto Suguru who has pretty purple eyes, Geto Suguru who likes to pet the neighbourhood cats, Geto Suguru who likes to eat cold soba…

There could be so much more that you don’t know about him.

Ah. You found it. That’s what’s been poking and prodding at your brain so often about Suguru. The way he tried so hard to please you.

“No.” You’re shaking your head as your eyes look from the cupboard amassing his various board games, to his television and to the unfinished plate of rice crackers and back to those confused; unsure amethyst eyes.

“What do you wanna do?”

“But—“ He sounds uncertain— Unsure and choked and slightly… Afraid?

“Your Papa’s a Beta but your Mama’s an Alpha?” The sandpit felt a little too crowded today after his presentation on his family. A little too many people for his liking as they bombard him with questions.

“My daddy says that your Papa’s so lucky to be able to marry and train an Alpha!”

He doesn’t see what’s wrong with how his family loves and cares for each other. Who cares? They like each other, and that’s enough.

“Ehh? An Alpha who plays mommy to take care of the house? What kind of Alpha is that? My mother says that Alphas are better in the adult job world!”

Who cares? His mama is happy with her life. And that’s enough.

“Right?! Maybe Geto-kun’s mama is defectiv—“

“Shut up!” A blinding fistful of sand, a tackle and two bodies crashing into the dusty sand box as punches fly and tears drop.

“You can’t say that about my mama!”

Geto Suguru who hates others because they just don’t think like he does. They don’t get things the way he does, don’t see things the way he can.

There shouldn’t be a world for those snickering, sneering faces that don’t even deserve to be able to breathe. He knows, learned from such a tender, young age that people are cruel. That you could chase, and chase after their adoration as much as you liked; only to have it crash down within the next moment.

Geto Suguru saw no point in making friends when his parents started packing their bags when the rumours about their violent child started spreading throughout the neighbourhood. Geto Suguru who got in the car and sat so eerily quiet for hours on end.

Geto Suguru who finally started speaking to others again the moment he saw you hiding behind the curtains.

“I wanna listen to what you wanna do. Satoru’s not here so we can play whatever.” Your free hand taps against your still conjoined hands as you shift closer to him.

He describes you as weird, describes you as odd. There was no kid back at his original neighbourhood that would hide from him the moment he laid his ‘gentle’ eyes on them. No kid who would go out of their way to try to be as accommodating as possible whilst being oddly— Awfully silent with pursed lips and an awkward look in their eye.

“…even if you don’t like what I’ll say?” It’s safer to just stick to what he already knows you like. You like Satoru, you like staying at your house, you like your Mama… Don’t dislike him. Don’t hate him.

Your head tilts to the side in confusion. “I like you.” That’s a good response you think, your nose picking up on a change in the air and catching a glimpse of a sheen of wetness in his eyes. “So I’ll definitely like what you wanna say.”

There was no kid out there who was so unabashedly like you. He just can’t help it— Seeing you struggle makes him soft and icky and gooey inside. He thought hanging out with you once would cure that ache to want to talk with you, would rid him of this odd intrigue about you.

But now— All he hopes is that you won’t hate him.

“And what if…” You think his voice is growing smaller and smaller. “You don’t like me anymore because of something I said?”

Hmm…? That’s never happened before though. You think for a little bit as you stare off to the side and let your head loll and rest on his as you feel him shudder.

But you know he’s not recoiling from you. The air feels sour, shaky. It doesn’t feel comforting as usual as you hold his hand tighter and think harder.

“Then I’ll just make friends with you again?” It will be tough on your end, and you’re not sure if he will take you back, but it’s sure worth a shot if it comes to him.

A stifled giggle— And sudden choked laughs.

You think you finally managed to make him smile again.

“Hahah…! What is that even supposed to mean, you dummy? Ahahah!” He’s still holding onto your hand as his head turns away from you, tips of his ears burning red and a quiet sniffle that you almost missed.

“You’re so stupidly kind, (name).”

And you learned that Geto Suguru can be crass, can let loose and say absolutely anything behind that facade of his. That, despite being so soft, can grow so tough and spiky that it was hard to get him to change his mind.

Maybe that’s why your two friends can get along so well.

Because they’re just so alike.

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[twirlingsmilingwriting]

Tolerate It pt 2 || Young! Coriolanus Snow X Reader

"Now, you're runnin' down the hallway and you know what they all say You don't know what you got until it's gone" You don't need to read pt 1 to understand whats happening but if you want to ITS HERE

https://www.tumblr.com/twirlingsmilingwriting/737294906027098112/tolerate-it-youngcoriolanus-snow-x-reader?source=share

TLDR: Truly feeling like the luckiest person alive when your former classmate and short term boyfriend asked you to marry him. Not even a year into the marriage and also a year into his presidency does the original love and admiration you felt from him start to dissipate. You can't help but feel trapped and tricked into a marriage in which he may have never loved you to begin with.

Warnings: Angst, Love-Bombing, marriage, gender ambiguous reader, typical snow tags (manipulation), alcohol, alluding to sexual acts but not described at the end, kissing, unclear motives, capitol parties, crying

Word count: 3k

a/n I was not going to make a part two to this story originally because I thought it was a one shot but some people asked for a part two and my big juicy brain started making up ideas!! lowkey wanted to title this one "You're Losing Me" for the next part but then it'd be hard to find. Let's pretend its called "You're losing me" :') ~

Dazzling lights decorated the gardens of the capital. I stood on the balcony feeling the wind blow through my hair and the satin of my frilly and extravagant blouse. The sounds of music and people chattering from below filled my ears. I closed my eyes and hummed tuning into the moment. I could hear his voice. He was talking to guests in the plaza. I could hear the smile on face in his voice as he charmed the guests, his charisma grew with each passing day. It was the same charm that led me down the path of falling in love with him. I exhaled the breath I didn't even notice I was holding and opened my eyes to take in the sight again. My eyes followed the sound of his voice and I spotted my husband down by a catering table. His tall, slender figure danced delicately through the air. His posture was different from when I first met him. He was always confident but the air around him felt different now. His aura was different but I truly had no right to judge the character of a man I rarely spoke to these days.

A heavy, dragged sigh escaped my lips and I sat back and watched his tantalizing smile and words tease and enchant the party guests. He parted his hair a different way today. I noticed every aspect of him, the way his shirt fit so snugly around his broad shoulders and draped over his thin waist. The gold watch decorated his wrist ever so gently. Truly, his beauty was delicate. He had such a whimsical and frail appearance but his energy made him seem like he was three times the man he was, the man he wanted to be. His head tilted up and his eyes met mine. I froze like the ice the color of his eyes were. His smile dropped and he nodded at me, letting his eyes do the talking.

'Smile more and come down here'

Instantly, a curated diamond-encrusted smile plastered my face and I dusted off my satin shirt and walked down the stairs of the balcony to the main area ever so carefully. Floating down the steps and through the crowd, my body finally reached his side and I interlocked my arm with his. He smiled down at me and I felt my heart beat a little faster. It felt real, at least to me. I loved it when we had parties because Coryo would adorn me with the affection I missed from him. His hand smoothed down to the small of my back and I looked over to smile at the party guests.

"Good evening y/n, you look dazzling," the capital man said, I'm sure I knew him from somewhere but his face was unrecognizable from the copious amounts of fillers he had put in it. I bowed my head to thank him without saying a word. I wasn't too sure if I was allowed to speak yet. That question would soon be answered when I felt a tug at my arm and I looked up to see my husband smiling at me.

'talk more smile less'

Swallowing my breath, I turned my attention back to the man. "Thank you, you also look fabulous, it is my pleasure to be able to serve such fine guests such as yourself at this party tonight," I spoke softly and confidently. I felt Coryos' nails dig slightly into the flesh of my hand. 'you're talking too much'. Mild frustration bubbled in me but it was cut short by the laughter of the party guest. "wow Snow, you truly know how to keep your partner in check huh?" He joked and Coryo started to laugh too before brushing off the comment and continuing to chat with the man about business, politics, and violence. I started to feel a little awkward but once I felt my husband release his hold on me and tap my hip three times, I knew I was done being his arm candy in this moment. Bowing my head, I excused myself and made something up about how I had to 'tend to the roses'.

Walking through the crowds of people I made sure to smile and wave at the happy partygoers while parting through them like the Red Sea. Arriving finally at a bowl filled with some sort of fruity and alcoholic concoction, I flimsily started to fill myself a cup. Leaning against a pillar by the bowl, I started to sip my drink and watched the people dance when suddenly, I heard a man's voice speaking to me. My eyes drifted to meet his and he started to walk over to me extending his hand out for a handshake.

"Wow... truly I am delighted to be in the presence of the right hand of the ruler of Panem. Hello, y/n, It is truly an honor to make your acquaintance" He said, a cheeky smile spread across his face. His orange curls decoratively fell upon his forehead and he had a certain glimmer in his eyes. He was clearly overjoyed to see me and that made me feel... nice?

"Oh goodness please, save me the formalities. And what might your name be?" I asked taking his hand in mine and shaking it. "Curtis"

"Short and sweet, I like that name"

He smiled even brighter than before and laughed, throwing his head back and retracting his hand from the handshake. He was tall, very muscular, and he just had the most shimmery of brown eyes out there. His appearance almost reminded me of a former classmate of mine, Sejanus but ginger. I smiled back and started to giggle a little from just his laughter.

"Have you been enjoying the party?"

"I've been trying, isn't the night just gorgeous?

"Pardon my boldness, but it truly doesn't compare to the beauty that you are. The night looks good on you." His words were stern and it felt like his voice was dripping in honey. A soft blush danced across my cheeks. It had been so long since the last time I received a compliment that felt so genuine. I chuckled a little and shifted my eyes away from the ones of the man with all the right words to say.

"Coriolanus is a lucky man in so many ways but truly, ending up with you must be his proudest achievement. I'm honestly shocked that you're standing by yourself here now. He is a smart man but not a wise one to let you start to slip away" he continued. I was truly at a loss for words. I felt my heart start to beat faster and I felt guilt bubble up inside of me. I was married and this stranger of a man was making me feel a way I hadn't felt since my wedding day. A chuckle escaped my lips and my eyes reconnected with the brown ones of the man in front of me.

"Please don't flatter me here... I can assure you my husband is a talented, smart, and wise man."

My breathing started to slow down as I tried to calm myself down so the obvious blush would remove itself from my face. I toyed with the cup in my hand and took the last sip. He noticed the cup was empty and offered his hand out to take it from me. He said he could refill it for me and I cautiously handed it over to him watching as he poured me another cup of the fruity drink.

"Here you go"

He handed it back to me with two hands and let his other hand rest on top of my own when he handed it back to me.

"Thank yo-"

My words were cut off quickly by the feeling of cold slender hands on my waist, pulling me back. "y/n, darling, I was looking for you" Coryo spoke lightly and spun me around to face him. His hands ran up my body and rested on either side of my face. His blue eyes stared into my own and a soft smile met his lips. "We have a toast to make sweetheart, who is this?" His cold fingertips rubbed either side of my cheeks and I melted right back into his touch. "This is Curtis, I assumed you invited him." I spoke gently and watched his face. He glared at Curtis and his Adams apple bobbed while he clenched his jaw. He tilted his head slightly at the man then brought his gaze back to me and then looked back at Curtis. His fingers interlocked with mine and instantly a joyful light-hearted feeling filled my body. It was the hand Curtis was just touching so I knew Coryo was trying to prove a point here but god, it felt so good to have him touch me so intimately again. "Well Curtis, I'm a little shocked no one ever told you to stay away from things that aren't yours." His words spoke venomously in my ears and a shiver went down my spine. Mild anger was spread across his face as he held me even closer. The ginger man said something in response but I was too enchanted by my husband to process any of it.

Coryo brought his attention back to me and I felt his hand slide up my body and hold onto the back of my head. It happened so quickly when he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine harshly and aggressively. I gasped into the kiss and brought my hands up to either side of his face, holding him ever so gently to not overstep my place. His other hand went right onto the small of my back and he leaned forward more, dipping me. This felt like a scene out of a movie. Warmth started to build up in my breathless figure and he pulled away slowly, scanning my face before he smirked slowly. Some time during the kiss, the man had left and it felt like it was just me and Coryo in the crowd now. I felt a little dizzy, dazed, and confused. My thumbs continued to rub little circles into his cheeks and I smiled and whispered, "I love you." His smirk dropped and he pulled away fully and looked around. I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist and he started to drag me to the stairs leading up to the balcony.

I was stumbling over my feet a little trying to keep up with him. When we reached the top of the balcony, Snow looked over at me. His cool and calculated eyes looked me up and down to make sure my appearance was on par with his standards. He exhaled heavily before turning his attention to the people still partying. His booming voice halted the night and the music stopped. The capital guests turned their attention to us in confusion.

"Everyone, I am sorry to end this night so early but I'm afraid circumstances have mixed with their consequences. Before you all disperse, I'd like to make a toast. First, a toast to my beautiful spouse whom I could truly not do anything without"

My heart melted and a warm smile spread across my face. Coriolanus only glanced at me before continuing.

"and lastly, a toast to you all for attending tonight."

He picked up a glass cup that he had resting at the top of the railing and lifted it to the sky. Everyone toasted and took a sip of their drinks. Coryo not so subtly didn't but he placed the cup down and issued another goodbye to the guest before turning to me and placing his hands on my waist again and looked down on me. His expression was unreadable to me. The rest of the party guests started to file out. I heard one masculine voice start to cough violently but as I started to turn my head to look over at the source of the sound, Coriolanus took me by the hand again and dragged me into the house.

He dragged me up to the bedroom and slammed the door. A thick silence started to fill the room. His head was tilted down low, staring at the ground. I stood still and started to fidget with my sleeve. Finally, he broke the silence.

"Do you make me out to be a fool, y/n?"

"W- what?"

"Oh don't play stupid with me now. You have one job and it is to be my partner and I leave you alone for a second and you know what you go and do? You disrespect me. You so aimlessly let another man flirt with you in front of everyone at MY party"

"Coryo I love you so much, another man could never replace you in my heart I promise. I am so lucky to have you" I started to ramble and stammer over my words. He brought his head up slowly to look at me from his side of the room. He looked haunting.

"Look at your hand" he demanded. Nervously, my gaze dropped down to my hand and I noticed it.

"You're not wearing your wedding ring. You can't even try to pretend you like me. That ring shows a promise that we are supposed to be together forever, you are supposed to serve me forever, and you go around, letting other men flirt and flatter you and without your ring above all things. Clearly, this means nothing to you. How am I supposed to tolerate this kind of behavior. You ungrateful piece of-" Tears were welling up in his angry eyes as they threatened to spill from mine. I yelled so loudly I scared myself,

"Stop! Stop! please stop I can't take it! You're losing me Coryo you're losing me! I don't understand. I have given you everything. I have given you the best of me, I polish everything in your life to paint you a blue sky and you have done nothing but blow dust onto the pages of what was supposed to be the story of our love. I don't understand how I am letting myself stay with you, with this man, no this stranger who is nothing but an empty shell, a reminder of what used to be and the relationship I was manipulated into. Coryo I- I want out. I can't be with you anymore" I was crying furiously and shaking. I moved to sit on the edge of the bed and tried to recollect myself. Coriolanus said nothing for a moment before I heard a crack in his voice.

I hadn't noticed that he had moved his way across the room and he now stood by my feet at the edge of the bed. Hot tears streamed down his face. It didn't feel angry anymore though, it felt sad. He suddenly dropped to his knees in front of me and held my hands in his. He cried into my knees and I felt my heart shatter.

"I- I'm so sorry y/n... I had no idea you were feeling like this. This is my fault I should be a better husband. Please don't leave, I'll give you everything, every last breath in my chest if I can, I love you... I love you... I love you..." He cried out desperately and I started to cry more too. His sobs were being muffled by my legs. My fingers reached his hair and started to stroke it softly.

"Coryo.... Coryo I love you too... I love you so much. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'd never leave you I promise." He slowly looked up at me with his bloodshot and puffy eyes. His plump lips were lightly parted and his eyes searched mine. I blinked away another tear and reached my arms out to hold him close. His eyes welled up with tears again and his lips pressed downwards into a frown before he stood up again and he leaned down into my arms. I stood up to try and match his level and started to cry into his chest while he cried into my shoulder. His behavior was like a switch, one moment he was angry at me and the next he was so incredibly sad. I can't stand to see Coryo hurt. I love him too much, need him too much. Our bodies rocked back and forth before I whispered another "I love you" into his chest. I felt his lips on my neck for a moment when he smirked against my skin and stopped crying. I was still sobbing into his chest and whispering a mix of sorry's and sweet nothings. Coryo kissed my neck and pulled back.

"It's okay... stop crying, you're an ugly crier for a beautiful face. I love you" He said softly. I couldn't process the legitimacy of anything in this situation. His face relaxed fully and he was looking at me with a blank expression now. I wiped my tears and he smiled weakly before planting a gentle kiss on my lips. I fell into his warmth and fell in love with him all over again in that moment. He pulled back and gave my forehead a little peck.

"Let me show you how much you mean to me darling..." He spoke softly and I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug he mumbled a word into my skin but I couldn't make it out.

"easy..."

~

PART THREE

[sweetismyaddiction]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Fic masterlist | Masterlist

SUCROSE

Paring: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer gets courage to tell what he truly feels (They live in the same building, in the same corridor, just in front of one another… which helps the friendship but couldn't stop Dr. Reid from falling in love)

Word account: 1271

Warnings: Fluff, friends to lovers, anxiety, 

A/N: English is not my first language. Reblog, like, and comment. I am accepting suggestions for the next parts. Please be nice. The Gif is not mine. Credits to the oner

Chapter 4: Declaration

Spencer’s Point of View

As soon as we are back to the job, it seems that the only thing people know to talk about is her.

I am glad they liked her. It is a good thing. But I can't help that little jealousy lingering in my stomach.

One of the things that makes everything worse is the fact that right now, I am in the jet with the team, going for a case away from her, away from my most sweet Sugar, that I daydream about actually tasting.

“So, that girl… she is marriage material.”

“Rossi is the one to know. He has ben married so many times”

Morgan chuckles at his own joke.

“Which makes me an expert, I recognize marriage material when I see it. And that girl…”

“Rossi is right, she is the type to commit.”

Why is Hotch interfering? He usually separates personal involvement and work place.

“Can we stop talking about it?”

“Reid, if you don’t step on, make a move… you may lose the chance. A woman does not wait forever.”

“Why is everybody getting so involved in my personal life?”

“Because you don’t have much of a personal life.”

“I have so much not one of you knew about her until I introduced her and she has been my friend for years.”

“Do you want to be her friend, or do you wish to be more?”

“If you feel insecure, just let me remind this genius brain that she proudly said you are friends and affirmed that she does love you, and that she felt no shame admitting it.”

“It amuse us that you ain’t a couple yet.”

—-----------------------------------

The conversation keeps repeating in my head, and I should take the risk, she deserves to know about my feelings… I don’t want to ruin our friendship… we could be more, I wish to be more… be breve Spencer, she never will be mean to you, there is no reason to be afraid. I will write a letter and hope for the answer.

—-----------------------------------

Dear Sugar

"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." - Jane Austen, from "Pride and Prejudice"

As much information as my mind can contain, nothing seems enough to describe my feelings for you. I am aware of your taste for Austin, I even consider receding her books to you but I fear my mouth will betray me, that my feelings will take over and my nerves will stop me from doing what I so much want to.

I will not be able to tell you all the thoughts that run in my imagination when I think of you. You. My Sugar. Not truly mine, but I strongly wish for that to become true.

Sugar, I am yours, I am all yours, body, soul, mind, beliefs… I pray that, if there is a haven for me to be blessed with your presence, because you are my paradise. You are my love. My muse. And so much more

"Love is the poetry of the senses." - Honoré de Balzac

You awakened me, I didn’t know the world could be so cozy, that being alive could be so wonderful, until we met. A rainy day, that a stranger just took under my umbrella. Change all, that simple act, that smile, the bad jokes… the more I know you, the more I want.

You are something I never thought to get in my life, cause I didn’t even know it existed, they don’t talk about it, they don’t write about it, they don’t paint it. They try, as I am doing right now. And we all fail, cause it is impossible to describe. I didn’t believe in the impossible until I met you.

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Robert Frost

I wish for you to want me too, for my Sugar to love her Sugarpout. 

I may not have much to offer you, but I offer all I have, I give you all I have. I donate all my being for you.

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert A. Heinlein

I wish for you to be happy, even if I am not your happiness.

I would never interfere with your well being, all I wish is the best for you.

I love you.

Love you so much.

If you ask, I am out of your life, even if that is not what I want.

As much as I want for you to be mine as I am yours.

What I truly, dearly and onest want and wish for is for your safety and happiness.

"Love is not just a feeling; it is a calling, a force that can transform and redeem even the most broken of souls. It is the fire that burns within us, the light that guides us through the darkest of nights. Love is the eternal thread that weaves together the tapestry of our existence." - Fyodor Dostoevsky, from "The Brothers Karamazov"

Infinity yours, Sugarpout.

"Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods." - Plato

—------------------------------

I sent the letter to her, and my heart sinks in my chest, anxiety runs to all my cells. The air seems not to get to my lungs, I can only imagine her.

Hope for a positive answer.

Hope she understands my feelings.

Hope she won't leave me.

—------------------------------------

Y/N’s Point of view

My eyes couldn’t believe it.

My heart skipped beats,and then it has never beaten faster.

It is a love letter.

Sugarpout wrote me a lover letter.

I am excited, happy… there are so many emotion.

I am knocking at his door. And I can not restrain myself, just using my key and open it, searching for my love.

As soon as my eyes land on him, is like if the sun is kissing me. I hold his letter in one hand, and my letter in the other.

He is looking at me, expectant, anxious.

I rise my piece of paper, that contain just a phrase, well… two phrases.

—------------------------------

I LOVE YOU

Ps: Yes, I want to be your girlfriend.

—------------------------------

He is also smiling, looking my letter that practically covers my face, with a gentle touch he takes the paper from my hands.

“I know I could have written something better, but after… I was just so anxious. I love you Spencer Walter Reid. I love you Sugarpout. My Sugarpout”

“I love you. Deep. Infinity. Just as gravity binds celestial bodies together, love intertwines souls in an invisible cosmic dance. And I hope to dance with you in the infinity and beyond that"

“May I touch you?”

“Yes.” Hands on my back, as I hug him back, letting my hand touch his soft hair. “May I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

His lips find mine.

It is as if life itself had touched me for the first time. Like the gentle brush of a bee against a flower, a love kiss, the delicate touch of life awakening. The electric current surges through our veins, igniting our souls with a spark of divine connection. In that fleeting moment, lips meet, and the universe holds its breath, as if time itself bows to the sacredness of this intimate union. It is the whisper of eternity, the language of the heart, speaking volumes in a single embrace. A love kiss, like the touch of life, breathes vitality into our existence, reminding us that in the realm of love, we are truly alive.

--------------------------

A/N: This is the end of my first fic. Hope you enjoyed reading it. Maybe I will do more fics... let's see what happens.

---------------------------------------------------------

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Tag List: @mikitsuki

[dancermk]

HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

[nicolesainz]

You belong with me (MM7)

Mason Mount x f!reader

Author’s note: I am in the middle of a Charles Leclerc fic and studying for exams and yet at 11 at night all I am willing to do is write a fic about Mase. So here you go! It’s a very simple plot from Mason’s POV.

Summary: You indeed belong with him, you just haven’t realized it yet. Mason has been trying everything and when the perfect opportunity arises, he is willing to take it up and make you his.

Warnings: angst, jealousy, minor violence, soft in the end!

She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. There is no one else in this world that I would want to make and call ‘mine’. If I had a lamp with a genie inside, my only wish would be to let me love her unconditionally.

It’s a pity she won’t let me love her. She’s in search for the love of a man that doesn’t even want her. Even worse, can’t provide her the love I can and am willing to give. I feel sick to my stomach knowing her heart has been engraved with his name instead of mine.

Y/N and I have been best friends before we could even talk. As babies our eyes and childish giggles would do the trick. As we were growing up, our relationship became stronger and we were attacked to the hip. She’d beg her mother to stay over at my house and I would beg my mom to stay over at her house.

We would never sleep. We would talk endless hours about what we want to do in life. What we want to succeed in. What our lives would be in 20 years time.

“I will be playing for Chelsea one day and I will win the Champions League. I promise you.” I said as a young boy, hopping on my bed, with a dream and passion to motivate me.

“You will be a superstar one day, Masey. And I will always be by your side to cheer for you.” Y/n replied, looking up to me, with a massive smile plastered on her face and her bubbly eyes admiring me.

Y/n did keep her word. She’s been present to all of my games. Whether those were in London, in Holland or other parts of the world, she has been truly my biggest fan. At winning games and losing games, she’s stood by me like no one else has or will ever do so.

Every goal I scored was dedicated to her. My celebrations would vary but a small heart would always be included. If I ever forgot the heart celebration, I would go up to the camera and mouth an ‘I love you’ to the screen so she would see it.

A lot of people in high school believed that we were dating. I would’ve loved to confirm those rumors, although y/n’a undying love for the nerd, tall boy in our class would ruin everything I wished for. He was expressionless and would simply smile like an idiot to her whenever they had a small conversation.

The moment we stopped sitting next to each other my blood would boil every time I caught him looking at her. I would send her small paper notes to keep her distracted from his presence. At times, I wasn’t able to go to class because of games or practice so for the entirely of the time, she would occupy my thoughts and I would ask her other friends if anything happened.

Till this very day, the only person that truly knows how deeply in love I am with y/n, is Declan. And I think he’s kind of sick hearing me blabber about how I would gift her the world, the planets and the night sky full of stars just to be with her.

“I know you love her mate but you’re clearly not what she wants.” One day Declan hit me with the realization that I may not be the boy she loves. And it was partially true. I wasn’t. Not until the perfect chance popped up.

It was Valentine’s Day and coincidentally Y/n birthday as well. Everyone in our class knew so her nickname in high school was Mrs. Cupid. They said that she could have whoever she desired. And yet this never happened. The idiot she loved was a scared man who couldn’t handle the portions of love she was showering him with.

It was our class reunion after almost 10 years. Me and y/n knew about the whereabouts of some old classmates so seeing them again would be like a casual hang out. Other hand lost touch so we would be seeing them again after years. Y/n would also be faced with the asshole she had been pinning about.

“How do I look Mase?” She appeared in front of me with a golden sparkly top and a black skirt that was perfectly showing off her figure. Her hair was let down in soft summery curls with lips more red than Manchester’s color. My heart started thumping so fast, I could run a marathon and come back without a hint of sweat. She’s so majestic.

“You’re beautiful darling.” Was all I said with a soft smile on my lips, even though I hid all my true thoughts for her appearance.

“Oh why thank you Mr. Mount. You are very handsome yourself.” I blush at her sweet words. She has an effect on me which I do not try to hide. Unfortunately I know that the reason why she is so insanely beautifully dressed is because he will be there. She would love to have another try. Maybe a final one.

"Shall we get going? You will start getting annoyed with your heels very soon so better be sat than sorry." I point out trying to clear my head from all the intrusive thoughts.

"Oh yes, plus you've got a game tomorrow. We have to come back early." She grabs her purse and we make our way out of her house. I drove all the way to London with my clothes for the party and for the game tomorrow after training so I could be with her from the moment we enter the club.

"You can stay in the party if you like, I will come and pick you up whenever you want me to." I suggest her by letting her get closer to what she desires but instead letting my desire fly away.

"No influence in the world has a priority against you. We will come back home when you call so. I won't risk your sleeping schedule for my silliness." Y/n takes my free hand into hers and caresses it softly. She keeps making it very difficult for me not to maneuver back the car, lock her in her room and shower her with kisses and tell her how much I love her.

"For now let's go have some fun. It will be nice seeing all the faces of our old classmates."

Most of them still live in London. It was me and three other people who lives far away in different cities. Once we arrived at the bar that we had booked, y/n held my arm nervously and I kissed her forehead, wanting to calm her down. She had no reason to worry. Everyone who knew her loved her. It was only him who couldn't love her like she wished.

When I opened the door and our old classmates noticed us, they all ran towards y/n, giving her hugs and compliments about how beautiful she looked. Some of the boys came up to me and greeted me with a few shakes and congratulations for the transfer to Manchester.

As we reached the barline, he was there talking to some of his old friends and y/n eyes immediately widened from worrying. He looked the same to me, I hadn't noticed anything different. I decided to go up to him and chat a bit, given that for y/n to ease there must be a familiar face in presence.

"Look at that, Mason Mount. How are you dude?"

He suddenly got all arrogant or what? He was a quiet, forgettable and tall boy in high school, what changed all of a sudden?

"Good, good. Settling the in the new life in Manchester. How about you?" I try not to sound as pissed as I may look. I eye him up and down once more trying to understand what difference there is.

"Travelling the world every other weekend, I am exhausted. You get the feeling? Home and away games?" Oh he gained soo much confidence over the years that he got annoying as well.

"Definitely, I agree. So what do you do that requires so much traveling?" Last time I remember he wanted to become a driver but god knows if that could get him anywhere at the age he was.

"I work for Mercedes, as their development driver for Formula 1." I almost chocked on my drink. So he did make it as a driver, almost.

"That's amazing. Good for you mate." That's what gave him all the confidence he has I suppose.

"So what about you and y/n, finally got together? I saw her holding your arm, I assumed you're dating." A smirk formed above his eyes, which made my eyes twitch a tad.

"She's my best friend. So no, we are not dating." I so would have loved to say otherwise even if that meant I had to lie, but I couldn't. It would be wrong for y/n.

"Damn, still haven't given up Mount? I admire your determination. If she was as hot as she is now back in the day, I would have made my move." If he utters another word he will die on the hill and I will be arrested but for the sake of y/n I wouldn't care.

"She's always been extremely beautiful. You were just trying to figure out whether you have a dick or not so your focus was on something else." I got a lot of pats on the back and a lot of 'fuck dude' echos in the background.

"If you are so desperate to try and get into her pants why haven't you flashed at her the trophies and the money? Easier path than trying to sway her with your undying love confessions." I couldn't control myself when he said those disgusting things so my only response was to punch him in the face and throw my drink on him as well.

"You don't deserve an ounce of the love she has for you. You don't deserve the charming smiles you would have woken up next to. You don't deserve anything good, fucking piece of shit." He got up immediately and punched me in the gut with all his strength. I stopped breathing with how my lungs were pressed and all his friends were trying to block him from punching me again.

"Who told you I wanted her to like me in the first place? There's a reason why I never asked her out. You can have all her pathetic emotions for yourself. She still begs for someone she liked since high school. You're a goddamn footballer, why are you so obsessed with her?"

When I finally got up on my feet again and gained my senses, I grabbed his collar before anyone could hold me back from going up to him and gave him a deadly look, as if this would be the last time he was breathing and not coughing blood.

"I loved and will continue to love her no matter what. I do not want anyone else and I am willing to compromise for the sake of her happiness. I was tired of watching her chase your pathetic ass when I could have given her all the love she desires. You can have anyone you like but your time with her is over." As I realised that I said that out loud in public, I turned around to see a fully crying y/n, trying to control her sobs and clear her vision.

Her lower lip was quivering and her eyes were on my hands as I was still holding his shirt very violently. I looked deep into her eyes, although she refused to give me even a single glimpse. I had fucked it up majorly.

"Let him go Mason." Her voice has no emotion in it. More blunt than ever. There was no 'Masey' or 'Mase'. It was stern cold. I did as I was told and turned back to face her full blown red cheeks and lips with smeared lipstick. What had I done?

"I am so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have had, but I..." I couldn't finish my sentence as she walked away from the scene and I immediately run after her. No way in hell I was going to stay back.

"I didn't mean to hit him. He was literally asking for it. If you could hear what he said about you, it was horrible. I couldn't just stand there and let him talk so disrespectfully about you." I never let anyone talk in a mean manner about my girl. Even Conor who once called her 'hot' I almost kicked his leg on purpose in practice.

"Did you mean what you said at the bar? Or was this just a show?" I couldn't believe my ears when she said that she believed that this was just a show. Was that what she thought of me?

"Ask anyone I know on this planet. Ask them about you. Ask them what I have said about you. Ask them how much I love you. Ask them how I would take a bullet for you, how I would put my career on the line if it meant to prioritise you. You have no idea how much I cried the night before I left for Manchester. I called Lewis at 3 am in the morning crying, asking him to help me cancel my contract so I could stay in London. Even if that meant trying to force my way back into Chelsea or another club. Do you really think I would punch a guy for any other girl besides you? Because yes y/n, I love you. I truly am madly in love with you. I love you so much it started to pain me. It was heartbreaking seeing you try to be loved by someone who wasn't deserving of your love when I was there, waiting to give you all the love of the world. If you still think this is all a show, then I am deeply sorry. I just want the best for you."

There was so much more to confess and to explain, although it would take me an eternity to prove to her how much she meant to me. Since day one I knew that if someone would be my endgame, it had to be her.

"You are my best friend, you will always be. We share everything with each other. Why did you never say anything about this? What stopped you from telling me how you were feeling? " She came closer to me and cupped my cheeks softly, caressing my rough skin.

"If I lost you because of my feelings, I would have never forgiven myself. God knows how many nights we spend sleeping in each other's embrace and I whispered in your ear how much I was in love with you. I just hoped one day you listened and wake up realising we should be together. But forcing you to love me, wouldn't be right. That is why I never told anything." This could either break my heart or bring me back to life, there's no way back now.

"Mason, I was in love with you before I ever was with him. He was just my reason to bury all the love I had for you. I was scared of admitting anything because your career kept growing and growing and the thought of being in love with you whilst you were playing in another country with a girlfriend I probably wouldn't even like, would keep me up late at night crying."

Her words broke my heart into a million pieces. My y/n was in love with me as well? The girl of my dreams could have been mine for so long and we wouldn't have had to go through this mess? Y/n loved me, oh my god.

"If you allow me, I will love you for the rest of our lives. Whoever you want to end up with, just tell me, will you allow me to give you all the unconditional love I have for you? All that matters to me is that you are happy. As long as you smile, I know I can smile as well." I lowered my head and our foreheads touched, feeling her breath hit on my lips, which were about to capture hers but I held back for a moment.

"I don't want to be loved by anyone else but you, Mason Tony Mount. If I want to be with someone, I want that person to be you. I want to share my life and love I have with you. We could have been happy now if we both weren't so scared to admit our feelings." I can feel her tears running down my hands as I was trying to bring her face closer to mine.

"Better late than never, am I right?" I took the chance and captured her lips in a full of years of emotions kiss, softer than the touch of clouds but with more love than cupid's arrows. My heart has finally found the pace it will beat when I am with her. It will beat faster than a thousand hearts combined and will be full of happiness.

[tired-teacher-blog]

Your game or mine

Characters : Shigaraki Tomura/ Fem reader

Warnings and Genre : NSFW/ 18+/ Breast Play (reader is having fun with Shiggy's tiddies)/ Dry Humping/ Mating Press/ Cream Pie/ Squirting/ A Hint Of Fluff/ One Shot

Notes : This is your fault @fictionfordays 🤤

Banner by @/cafekitsune

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

_ "Cut it out already, can't you see I'm a little busy at the moment?" and he wasn't even looking up from his phone as he groaned his displeasure with your advances.

_ "But I'm bored! And you've been playing that stupid game for hours now." your whines were falling on deaf ears as he ignored you completely to get back to the mission ahead.

You sat up, crossing your arms over your chest and pouting in disapproval, how could he possibly focus on anything else after you've put in the effort to look irresistible to him? Was he truly unaware of your intentions? Even after crawling on top of him in a new sexy lingerie set that hugged your luscious body perfectly? Or did the phone glued to his face absorb the last few brain cells he had left?

No matter the reason, you've never been one to give in easily, and so..

_ "Alright do as you wish sweetheart, play your game, and I'll play mine." the smirk lacing your words was invisible to him, and the mindless "uh-huh" spilling from his lips, proved that he wasn't even listening.

You studied his sprawled out frame once more; comfortably sinking into the plush mattress underneath himself while crumpling the soft bedsheets with each little move he made.

Your eyes lingered on his bare flexing pecs, pale skin covering the protruding muscles beneath, and pink perky nipples begging to be touched.

You bit back a threatening moan as your gaze traveled down to his yet meek bulge, knowing all too well that one small caress would be enough to bring it to life.

However, he was clearly playing hard to get, so why not see how long he could resist?

You positioned yourself on his soft cock, neglecting the flimsy fabric of both undergarments separating you, and relishing the sudden flinch escaping him when you slowly rolled your hips.

_ "Y.. you're going to make me lose." his resolve was clearly faltering against your approaches, but his eyes were still fixed on the video game ahead.

_ "Oh I'm sorry love, I'll be more careful." you feigned innocence as soft giggles escaped your throat, placing your palms flat on his firm abdomen and trailing them up until you reached his chiseled bust.

You licked your lips and clutched onto the bulging muscles, giving him one teasing squeeze before relaxing your hold again.

Nothing yet, except for a suspicious tremble appearing under your fingertips. It was undeniably working.

You ran a finger along the deep valley of his chest, rolling your hips slowly on his awakening cock and smirking victoriously as he failed to conceal a frustrated groan.

_ "If I lose.. damnit.. I'll make you pay." he hissed gloomily, fingers still tapping away on his phone's screen while his body was getting more and more restless underneath you.

Any other person would be terrified hearing the symbol of fear rasping those words, but not you.

_ "We'll see about that Tenko." yes, definitely not you.

Your hands groped his godly breasts once more, kneading his flesh greedily before leaning in to lick a perfect stripe leading to his quivering throat where you sucked a bright mark.

_ "Fuck.." the word vibrated under your lips as it left him, and you were uncertain if it was due to your actions or the mobile game he was invested in. Regardless, you were having loads of fun on your own.

Your wet kisses traveled downward to join your hands and cover every inch of delicious skin encountered, you were eager –starved even– as your warm tongue sneaked out to flick on his cherry blossom pink teats.

Your hips moved a little faster on top of him, and your giggles resonated across the dimly lit room when he shallowly met your thrusts.

_ "Seems like I'm winning." you slurred between soft nibbles on his plumpness, peering under your lashes to witness the whitening knuckles as he gripped the device tighter.

He was fully erect by then, you could tell –you can always tell– and it was only a matter of moments for him to drop the pathetic charade and give you the attention you so much craved.

Your warm greedy maw engulfed one of his nipples, sucking on the hard nub like a thirsty little kitten while your fingers played with the other; flicking, pinching, ranking your nails over the prickled skin until he no longer could keep his aloofness.

You weren't done though, disregarding the hand leaving his phone to grip your hair as you switched your teasing mouth to the other teat. But all of a sudden, an alarming sound flared up to replace the rhythmic tunes of the game and announce your man's failed mission to clear the level..

_ "Alright, that's it!" was all he snarled out before placing the gadget onto the bedside table and grabbing your hips roughly to roll you on your back and hover over your stunned frame.

You blinked in pure confusion, striving to wrap your head around the swift change of your positions as his looming figure sent shivers down your spine.

_ "I warned you didn't I?" he did, and it was time for you to receive a proper punishment.

He gripped the back of your knees and spread your legs apart, his crimson irises blazed with fervent emotions that you could not pinpoint, while yours shamelessly ogled the conspicuous damp spot on his boxer briefs, wondering if it was your creation or his, and maybe –just maybe– it was a little bit of both.

You gripped the rumpled bedsheets and braced yourself for what was coming as he hastily tucked your legs up and pressed them to your reddening ears, "that's better.." he chuckled darkly before lowering his underwear just enough for his rock hard shaft to spring back against his abdomen, a heavenly sight that forced your cunt to squeeze around nothing.

Your longing for him was clear as day, and his gleaming eyes held an intense desire as he glanced at you once more while pushing your panties to the side, before smearing the leaking head over your sensitive folds and finally easing himself into your welcoming heat.

Your eyes rolled back in absolute ecstasy, and his name left your lips in a broken murmur as he stretched you perfectly around him.

He gave you no chance to adjust, retrieving his length until only the tip was sheathed within you, before slamming his hips mercilessly against your own.

His pace was unforgiving from the get go, grazing your insides deliciously with every deep thrust he delivered.

_ "Eyes on me angel, show me that beautiful face of yours, come on." he demanded huskily, tightening his grip on your legs and pushing them further against your chest.

His strikes were deeper and harsher from that position, filling your senses with a pleasurable pain you so much adored.

You weren't going to last much longer and neither was he, your earlier teasing and playful behavior had lead you both closer to a certain release, "Tenko, don't stop!" and he didn't, pounding even harder into your core while chanting your name like a mantra.

Your heart hammered in your chest and a thrilling heat pooled in the pit of your belly as he pushed you roughly into the mattress, his bruising clutches and erratic hips announcing his own imminent orgasm.

_ "I'm cumming! I'm cumming! Tenko please!" you tensed up beneath him as you mewled a warning, bracing yourself for the inevitable shockwaves of pleasure that washed over you only a moment afterwards, and whimpering unintelligibly as you spasmed violently and gushed all over yourself and him, soaking the two of you in a clear warm spurt before going limp underneath his persistent thrusts.

_ "Amazing.." his eyes traveled between your spent body and the mess between yourselves, clenching his jaw and panting breathlessly while the obscene sloshing noises intensified as he ground on you, "fuck! I'm cumming too!"

You shakily grabbed on to his veiny arms and dug your nails into his pale skin, wordlessly pleading with him not to pull out before spilling every last drop inside of you, and thanking the heavens when he ultimately understood.

_ "I got it beautiful.. fuck.. I got it." a strained smirk appeared on his lips as he replied, sinking into your slippery cunt and kissing your cervix with every brutal snap of his hips, once.. twice.. thrice.. and then a final lunge before exuding his thick pearly load and coating your clenching gummy walls.

He finally pulled out of you, placing your tingly legs onto the stained bedsheets, and collapsing on top of you with a satisfied heave leaving his chest.

_ "We made a mess Tenko." your tired laughter stabbed at every fiber of your pained figure, but you were blissed out; being entangled with him while sharing a few joyful instances, forgetting everything outside of your room and pretending to be in a typical relationship with a typical man— even for a little while.. it was your own paradise.

_ "This was courtesy of you angel, and we'll have to do that again soon." a soft chuckle was lacing the muffled words tickling your shoulder, and a pair of eager lips trailed gentle kisses along your skin before nuzzling the curve of your neck.

Yes, your own paradise..

[givethemsmut]

Cody Rhodes x Reader

Made of Gold | Chapter Six

I pretended to not be bothered the whole time the girls gossiped and gabbed about their jobs.

Every time I caught Brandi’s eyes cascade over me I simply smiled in her direction. I felt like a politician’s wife, keeping myself from pressing her intentions.

Cody reappeared, that same smile he flashed, but I could tell his eyes were a storm. The blue suddenly seemed more fogged and his body didn’t seem relaxed anymore.

Walking over to him casually, hiding every ounce of excitement to be rescued by him. Offering my lips to his, he pressed his mouth to mine, only deepening the simple peck. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and I instantly knew he noticed his ex.

He went from the Cody I knew who was always making a joke to the Cody the wrestling world knew - a performer.

This kiss was to show her he moved on.

I had nothing against making her jealous. Cody was supposed to be a fling yet here I was riding on his bus, at his job, pretending to be some trophy wife.

“Well, hello to you too.” He was still holding me against his chest, arms tightly around my waist, engulfing me in him.

“Sorry, that took forever but we had to go over the entrance and pyro. You okay? They eating you alive?”

Trying not to glance over my shoulder I noticed his eyes shift. “Met your ex girlfriend. She seems nice.”

Cody pulled away enough to lock eyes again. “I didn’t even think about her being here. All I thought about was getting the chance to be The American Nightmare here.”

I let him toy with her by using me, the way he let his hands smooth down my ass. “Don’t worry about it. We never talked about being exclusive... I can’t imagine this life promotes healthy relationship.”

Maybe I dodged a bullet.

I tried to play it casual and cool, not show my cards when I forced myself to smile even though I knew every part of me was falling for him.

I would never admit the way he noticed her and preformed hurt.

Layla warned me about the connection you’d feel to the person who took your virginity. I didn’t believe her until I met the threat of not having him anymore, a gorgeous woman named Brandi.

“Babe,” he didn’t add anything after as if he was defeated before he truly spoke.

“It’s okay, I’m gonna go freshen up on the bus. You do your thing.” I pulled away, keeping my fake smile pasted on and making sure Brandi bought every second of it.

Walking away our hands tethered until our fingers held on until they couldn’t. I found my own way back to the bus, yanking the door open, and fell into the bed we hadn’t slept in yet.

Sinking into the bed I tried to digest that Cody was boiling down to the fling. I was mentally trying to cut the invisible ties that bonded us but every time I closed my eyes I saw him ravishing me the way a stranger couldn’t.

He felt like the only person in the world who knew me. My body, my mind, the person I wanted to be instead of the trauma response I am.

Cody knew every sensitive spot, he knew exactly how much I could take before he sent me over the edge, he knew exactly what I liked when he fucked me.

How could two people fit so well physically and it mean nothing emotionally?

If Cody really wanted Brandi back then I was going to help him do just that just to not lose him. I could settle for friends.

Scrolling on my phone for way too much time I finally dug through my suitcases to find something even more sexy. I wanted to outdo all the designer backstage and I knew Brandi would be watching.

Slipping into a tight black dress that hugged every curve I paired it with thigh high boots I touched up my hair before I proudly walked back into the venue for the start of the live show.

While I got ready I did some research on WWE, who was who, and whatever else I could arm myself with.

The event had came alive, everyone running around and getting ready for their moment to shine. I could hear the fans in the stadium roar as I tried to find Cody.

Simply turning around I felt myself be pulled into a hard body. His lips pressed against mine and I felt myself melt into his arms when I realized the stranger was Cody.

My body knew him before I could even register it.

His mouth so close to mine I could taste him on my lips still, “I don’t want her back. I don’t know what she said to you but fuck her.”

Wrapping my arms around his neck I tried to find a lie but came up empty. “You took my virginity but it doesn’t mean you have to pick me, Cody. Let me help you. You helped me so much.”

“Are you serious?”

Noticing her walk into view behind him I nudged him making him aware she was watching.

Gently pushing me into a wall behind us I suddenly lost track of her entirely. His eyes got dark with his hands planted against the wall, boxing me in. His tongue crept into my mouth with so much intensity I felt my clit pulse between my legs in response.

His hand swept up between my legs and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. “I don’t even have to check… I know you aren’t wearing panties by the way you want to so badly rub your knees together.”

I licked his neck up to his lips and watched him switch from hungry to starved. My lips covered his ear, whispering, “that’s perfect, keep going.”

Not removing the hand between my legs only snaked up further until the pads of his fingers clashed with my clit. I clung to Cody like I had no choice.

“Do you need me to prove I only want you by fucking you right here while everyone watches?”

The sharp tone of his voice skated to the bottom of my spine as I tried not to collapse against him.

That authoritative voice that seemed to echo slapped me sober while I hid my face in Cody. “Cody, wasn’t getting caught once today enough? I’m gonna send you a fine. Anywhere but my backstage.”

He scolded us enough to have Cody’s hand fall from between my legs but not pull away.

“You’re ticketing me?” He was looking at me but talking to his boss standing right behind him.

The large man, sporting a slightly weathered look, came closer before responding, hand on his shoulder. “Your ex is standing right over there. You have a bus, use it. Welcome home.”

Cody kissed me again only without his tongue this time he left me a wet mess clinging to the wall for support. “I have a match in twenty. Hang out, get some food, I’ll be quick.”

Shaking my head I nodded, still unable to move as I felt myself vibrate still. I was prepared to just head back to the bus when Brandi stopped me, something I would have anticipated if I wasn’t drunk off him still.

“That’s his MO you know. The girlfriend experience then he dumps you out of nowhere.” Her shrill voice only made it sting worse.

“Let me guess… you saw him all over me and the jealous monster sitting on your shoulder told you to warn me. Out of good intentions, right?” I crossed my arms expecting something more than petty remarks from an adult.

Rolling her eyes, “don’t say I didn’t warn you. Maybe you should ask him yourself before you’re expected to get an abortion too.”

“Oh sweetheart, I already knew you were the ex without him saying one word. You should work on your poker face.”

“Don’t pretend his house isn’t littered with my things. Did he tell you we were going to get married?”

I crossed my arms, loathing her for ruining my high. “I’ll bite - then what?”

Closing the gap between us, she stood right in front of me. “Then his dad died and he left WWE. Cody and I have unfinished business. I suggest you don’t get in the way of that.”

Cody’s life choices were making more sense, all the details he left out.

“Cling to that unfinished business because it’s the only thing you’re gonna cling to.”

I left her standing there out argued by a seventeen year old when I found myself back on the bus.

Yanking the tight dress like it personally offended me I tried to cool down but every part of me wanted to break things. Pulling over my head an American Nightmare shirt I skipped bottoms in exchange for a lace pair of red panties.

Cuddling up against his pillow I took a deep breath of him.

I must have fallen asleep when Cody’s body bullied mine into turning over on my back. Kisses covering my face and chest messily when I heard him whisper, “I have to be inside you baby. I’m addicted.”

Still shaking off the fact that I was just sleeping I felt his hands push up my shirt up enough to enjoy my lace panties.

Lazy, sleepy, moans escaped my mouth.

“My shirt and now these? Are you trying to kill me?”

Shaking my head yes I let my legs fall apart just for him to fill the space, not before tugging my panties down my legs. Out of his torn shirt and wrestling pants he smelled like fresh soap. His hair was still wet when I let my fingers smooth through his locks.

Reaching for the night stand, he fished around the random objects crashing against the sides of the drawer. “Fuck,” he exhaled sitting back between my legs. “I’m out of condoms baby.”

“I don’t care, Cody.”

Leaning up, meeting him more than half way, my mouth nipped at his. Feeling empowered by how heavily he was breathing I flipped over, pushing my ass into his crotch and letting my hands press against his bed.

Every hard inch wedged against my ass, his hands smooth up my shirt to cup my tits.

“You’re gonna let me fill up this tight pussy? Already so wet for me.” He groaned the words out and his hand guided himself to my entrance. Pushing my ass back on him, I exhaled at the familiar stretching as he filled the void between my legs.

I couldn’t help but moan while my hands fisted the sheets. Bucking his hips I quickly got use to his size all over again like he hadn’t been stretching me out to accommodate every thick inch for months now.

Muffling my moans I buried my face in the pillows as our bodies collided over and over.

“What a good girl… fuck… so fucking tight.”

Grinding my ass back into him, out of breath I moaned through my words. “It’s too big, Cody. I’m gonna come.”

Not releasing my nipples, I continued to squirm against him like it would provide any relief. “I know baby, taking this big cock so well. Tell me you’re mine.”

“What?” I gasped without realizing it.

“Tell me who you belong to. Tell me you’re mine.”

Throwing my ass back, I nearly came undone at how it felt to ride Cody this way. I could feel my legs shaking every time I pulled forward only to impale myself again.

He was giving me every ounce of control over him and it felt overwhelming. He was strong in ways I admired and yet I was bringing him to his knees with my pussy.

“Cody,” I whimpered completely compliant to his demands. I was his whether I liked it or not.

“Just like that.” The grit in his voice told more than looking over my shoulder couldn’t. I could tell his jaw was clenched in anticipation, his eyes closed, and the way the veins decorated his muscles before he came.

My cheek pressed against the cold covers, I moaned through the orgasm cascading over me.

Every muscle in my body stilled as the orgasm rocked through me and I felt out of control.

Cody’s hands grasped around my hips and smoothed up my back. “God damn. I could fuck you for forever.”

Collapsing next to me in the queen sized bed in the back of the bus splattered with his name I crawled over his chest, letting my arm rest over him. “Forever is a long time. You’ll be an old way before me.”

Choking on his laughter he tried to tickle me but I but could feel the exhaustion pouring out of him.

“I’m serious.”

“I don’t have expectations, Cody. You don’t have to woo me.” Casually snatching the water bottle from the night stand I took a swig while he sat up against the headboard.

“What did she say to you?” The playfulness drained from his expression.

“That didn’t sway me, Cody.”

He repeated himself only this time it was much more intense while I watched his fists ball up. “That you were supposed to be getting married… slick comments about abortions and you dumping girls after you get your girlfriend experience fix.”

“Wow. What a fucking, bitter, bitch. She tried to trap me in getting her pregnant then my father died. I went off the deep end and we broke up. End of story.” I could tell he didn’t want to truly talk about it even though he asked.

Leaning against the headboard I could feel our shoulders brush, “how long did you date her?”

His head fell to the side and I watched his eyes scan up to mine. “Long enough. A year.”

I exhaled in the form of a wow. Cody had ex-girlfriends, of course, but knowing the details made it hurt worse.

“Come on, you’ve had boyfriends.” His face got close to mine and I felt his hand smooth over my bare ass. “Maybe not like that… but I can still be jealous too.”

Straddling his lap slowly I placed my hands on his shoulders. “I’ve had boyfriends, of course, but no pregnancy scares or rings on my finger.”

His eyes were foggy again and his strong hands held my hands behind my back enough for me to welp out-loud. “I can tell by the way ride my tongue that someone’s ate that pussy before. I can tell by the way you wrap that hand around me it’s not the first time you’ve touched someone. You don’t have to engaged or almost pregnant for me to be jealous that some boy has touched you. It’s gonna happen, I just wanna be the last man to fuck you.”

Our mouths collided when he finally loosened his grip on my wrists. Practically falling into him I felt my hips sway on top of him without meaning to.

Whimpering through our kisses I asked, “When does it stop feeling like this? I can’t help it.”

I could feel my legs shake and my body go up in flames. I was turned on so easily still and nothing extinguished that need for him.

“You wanna come again baby? This greedy pussy needs more?” His lips pressed soft kisses down my neck.

I shook my head yes knowing my pussy was already soaked from his dirty words and the way his hands were up my shirt. I was a mess for Cody, in every way you could be.

He was going to break my heart and I was gonna ignore every warning sign.

REQUESTED TAGS:

@alyyaanna

[jensenscomedyelbows]

edit by the amazing and talented and generous @lemondropsonice

SPN FIC REC FEST #11

All-Time Favorites/Free Recs

The only pairing is Wincest

Most are explicit, but those that aren’t are marked accordingly.

THE FIREFLY THAT LOVED METALLICA by fleshflutter

Rated R, but WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH/RESURRECTION. I passionately adore this indescribably poignant story. Get tissues.

LIKE STARING INTO THE SUN by nyxocity

It was never about the girls. It was about them.

A new OFC in each part, until there are no more FCs at all and it’s just them.

There is also a sequel, linked to the original

RUN IT ALL OVER (THE WEST SERIES) by runawaydr3amer

I LOVE this series with a passion not too dissimilar from Sam and Dean’s for each other

When you live a life like theirs, chasing tail isn't always an option. But sometimes you just want someone to touch your dick, and your brother’s hand is as good as any.

THE LAST OUTPOST OF ALL THAT IS by gekizetsu

I’m sure this will end up on multiple lists during this event, as it’s a fandom classic that everyone loves. I don’t even want to try to describe it. 60K words. Casefic. First time. I think there’s some H/C. Beautiful. So so sad. Joy amidst the wreckage and heartache. I love it so much I should probably get the title tattooed on my body somewhere

NOT FOR SAMSON IN THE TEMPLE by maygra-fic

Coda to my all time favorite, see above. You have to read that one first to truly appreciate how this coda maintains the tone, voice, and prose quality. You feel like it’s from the same author, but surprise! it’s not, and that’s remarkable. Mature Sam and Dean. Elderly Sam and Dean

THE GHOST OF SOMEBODY AT HIS SIDE by runedgirl

Prepare to weep. When I need pain, this one guarantees I’ll get it. Author Description: The night before Sam Winchester meets with his 12th grade guidance counselor for the second time, something very bad happens. One of those somethings that takes only a ridiculously short amount of time – in this case, about three minutes – yet manages to change the course of two lives forever. Or: Sam goes to Stanford, and takes most of Dean's heart with him.

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE by Morgan

This one just…stuck with me. The events that unfold are awful for Dean in particular, but I’m sure it wasn’t a great time for Sam, either. Bobby makes an appearance. Angst for daaaaays, and NON CON/DUB CON warning is red-flag-level. Author Description: Sam loses his mind. It's that simple. Dean doesn't know what to do, but he's not going to walk away from this, he's never backed down in all his life. If you're looking for happy endings, don't come here. This shit is dark.

THE SILENCE OF A SUMMER DAY by wanttobeatree

***Everyone who loves the Winchesters should read this amazing future fic***

Rated PG. The world has moved on. This is their legacy. Haha, yes, of course I’m recommending this one again. No sex whatsoever! Weird, right?!?!

@spnficrecfest

RESTRAINT by DarkEmeralds

Free rec. Rated M. 200k+ words. It's not Spn or Wincest or even J2, not really. I guess it’s technically a J2 AU. I’m sneaking it in here because it’s an all-time favorite of mine. This might not be your cup of tea, fanfic wise. I certainly didn’t think it was mine. But but but…it’s absolutely lovely, it’s extremely well-written, the tone/voice/verbiage is accurate for its time, and it has a happy ending that made me cry HAPPY tears when I was finished. If you like historical romance, you’ll like this. It’s set in Regency England! Author Description: The calling card said Tristan Jarrett, Viscount Penrith. Beneath that, in a lazy scrawl, was the addendum Mr Acklebury, be so good as to wait on me tomorrow, number 10, Half Moon Street. Yours, &c., Penrith. Mr Acklebury was not sure how he felt about being thus summarily commanded to paint his lordship's portrait.

[the-tropes-are-hungry]

4 - The Cat Laughs

I don’t have a clue how long this Cat – Worm – Lamb pattern will hold considering the story I want to tell but for now it’s a good frame to work from. Have a cat in a hat with a spider and a squid.

[First] / [Prev] / [Next]

Shamura was never kind to him. It took him years to understand their concept of kindness was something else entirely.

A crown did as much as its bearer allowed, but the spider forbade him from using his to curb hunger, or stay sleep, or anything else truly useful.

“You are not yet grown, therefore have no true grasp of your abilities.”

“Then let me use them.”

They looked at him with their too many eyes and his vision fizzed. The shadows of thoughts, the web of impenetrable life woven around Shamura like their black and gold armor, the unflinching stare. Narinder was a predator in his own right, but they were something else.

Shamura was seated at the low table in their tent, discarded maps and the remaining bones of their dinner resting next to candle stubs. Narinder stood in the doorway where he’d burst in, and the spider remained perfectly still as they regarded him.

“Why?” they asked.

He stared at them, clutching his young anger.

“What do you mean, why? Because we’re fighting a war— because we’re losing one!”

Shamura watched him, listened to him, and answered with: “Our standing in this conflict is my burden, as our supplies are Kallamar’s, and growing is yours. Why should I let you use your crown when I do not believe you are ready?”

Ears back, his words keened past his fangs. “Because it’s mine.”

“It is yours,” the spider agreed, holding one long hand over their tea and calling the tiny ceramic cup into their grasp. “But that is not a reason to use it.”

“I don’t need a better reason.”

“You do, if you want my permission.”

“I don’t need your permission!”

“You do,” they squeezed the cup and his ears popped at the pressure change, black ears pressed to his skull and half-sheathed claws now soft against his palm. Shamura blinked slowly, one eye at a time from left to right, then right to left. “You do, if you want to leave my web alive.”

The entire camp was their web. Narinder had felt it after waking up the first time, sensed it without really knowing what about the ground upset his fur, why his whiskers twitched at every tent door and post, why his vision doubled and the stars moved too much at night.

He’d experienced it the first time one of Shamura’s soldiers, a beetle of all carapace and no sense, threw their meal on the ground and declared they’d had enough of rancid flesh and deserved something better.

The beetle had spasmed as, from everywhere and nowhere, silk threads snapped tight and pulled their limbs back before they could curl into a protective ball. Their glossy chitin didn’t mean anything as Shamura’s slow steps made the beetle’s heart quicken, then race, then thunder in Narinder’s ears. The spider had walked as slowly as possible to give every onlooker time to find a place to witness their judgment. One blue finger had trailed up from trembling thorax to mandibles, and the slender demigod rose up on six legs to tower over their prey.

“Very well,” they’d said, and a silk wire lopped the beetle’s head off. Several more tightened around still-squirming limbs until they detached. All Shamura visibly did was wave a dismissive hand at the wrist, and their web deposited the open body on the fire, belly up, for the camp cook to decorate with salt and herb and oil and simmer with his own armor acting as pot and pan to serve him.

It had been, Narinder hated to admit, one of the best meals they’d had since his arrival.

Shamura’s threads were already in his fur. They touched his wrists, his ankles, trailed against his black robe and irritated his whiskers. There was no tension in them, just the ghostly presence holding his chest and winding around his tail.

The spider sipped their tea.

“You are not yet grown, Narinder. I do not mean this metaphorically: your kind do not come of age until they are ten and six years old, but the males do not reach their true strength until twenty and eight. If you will not tell me why you must rely on your crown before you are ready, will you heed my reasons why you shall not?”

Shamura had already made up their mind and even the best reason in the world would not sway them. Still, to stop the growing pain in his throat and the burning in his eyes and the pressure in his nose, he bared his teeth again.

“When my mother taught me the sword, she gave me a sword to practice with.” The mere mention of her hurt. Speaking of her was like licking glass, or breathing fire, or being forever in this world without her. “I’m not saying let me fight the Green-Eyed Queen myself, but you’ve got to let me learn!”

Shamura nodded, but he swore the wisps of web grew thicker.

“The words you are looking for are, ‘I am afraid, and believe a better weapon will keep me safer.’”

They stood up, four legs moving sinuously beneath their black robe, four arms folded politely in pairs as they drifted across the tent toward him. One set of hands parted and they rested one cold palm against his bristled cheek. They had too many eyes and he never knew which ones to look at.

“If I clothed you in the strongest armor and then struck you one hundred times a day for one hundred days, it is true that you will stop fearing my blows and focus on hitting back. But if there is one day, not of your choosing, where I would make those hundred strikes on you without your armor, what would happen?”

His vision was blurring again, this time with frustration. His throat was growing tighter and it wasn’t Shamura’s silk. His chest and arms were trembling and the spider hadn’t struck him once.

“I would die.”

Shamura nodded, and released his face.

“That is why I will not let you use your crown to hold back sleep, because already you do not sleep enough. And I will not let your crown suppress your hunger, because you do not eat enough. And I will not let the crown make you stronger, or faster, or anything else you desire, because this weakness is born of things no crown can fix. You must train your mind. You must grieve your loss. You must let your body grow, child. Return to your duties.”

Duties. All Shamura had him do was practice symbols in wax and ink, and read the same marks off paper and metal. He was to learn the stars by different names, and the plants in their times and properties, and the many lands by their rulers and laws. Narinder’s duties were to grow his mind and eat hearty off the army’s stew pot, as if he were some kind of pet in the spider’s keeping.

He left with rage pulsing under his skin, humiliation turning his fur up as the silk whispers of the camp kept sticking to him, thickening around his ankles until he could almost see the strands. He sped up, all but ready to begin dashing past soldiers, and barracks, and cook fires and—

“There you are.”

His body stopped. A shimmering blue light encircled him and his muscles couldn’t move, his momentum halted. A webbed hand pressed warm to his shoulder before Kallamar’s spell vanished, and the third crown-bearer in this camp steered Narinder off his path between another set of random tents and tables, the squid’s long face pulled in an affable smile.

“Bold of you, to challenge Shamura directly,” he chittered. Narinder was only half-grown, but Kallamar was only just taller than him, too long, too nothing beneath his robes. “I can see how that went by the look on your face. No—don’t stop, be mad. Get it out. You can’t close a wound with the knife still inside.”

“What do you want?” Narinder asked, teeth clenched, whiskers flared as he kept walking and Kallamar kept pushing.

“To stop you from ending up on a spit,” he said. “Shamura is unkind, but rarely unreasonable. Come, running off will get you in trouble, but I’ve prepared something for you.”

Shamura and Kallamar had journeyed together for two years now, amassing followers and striking out at the Green-Eyed Queen’s champions: the Seven Toed Oak, the Marble Tongue of Dawn, and Ashblight. Shamura’s real target was the Wrath-Bringer, for their own reasons. Kallamar had come from the white waters of the Serpent, and beyond Shamura’s trust in him that was all Narinder knew.

Most of the followers in this camp were the spider’s. Kallamar’s followers were weepy-eyed creatures that hissed at the sun and plied their master with even more miserable gurgles than what Kallamar paid the spider.

There was something the Green-Eyed Queen possessed that Shamura wanted before taking their campaign elsewhere.

The mobility of Shamura’s forces was crucial, as staying overlong in any one place cleared the trees, dirtied the water, and ate the land barren. Never-mind counter attacks from the Queen’s champions.

Narinder had been with them a month. During the four battles this army of two hundred followers had fought he’d sat at Shamura’s heels with clean claws and sheathed blades and a leash short enough to call a belt-loop. Every time he saw Kallamar, the Serpent’s exiled son was either flustered with the logistics of keeping this army fed, or impatiently keening at Shamura to send Narinder out of earshot so they could speak.

The cat and the squid had never been alone together before now.

“Hurry up! Hurry up! I think you’ll hate this until you learn to love it.”

Narinder’s tail kept lashing. “You have the worst way of saying things.”

“Do you know what’s more fun than having a shard of the Serpent’s power sitting on my head?” Kallamar asked, the membrane of their face bubbling with their words as they tapped their crown.

“Leaving me alone?”

“Having my own power to wield as I like.”

Kallamar brought him to a freshly cleared bit of forest at the edge of the encampment. Fresh stumps littered the ground like boils, sweet sap still bleeding from the saw-marks. The squid kept giggling to himself, but trying to hide it with his mouth closed. The hrm! Hrm-hrmhrm!! Was enough to make Narinder’s claws itch. He’d never eaten squid before.

“First! An exercise I’m sure you’ve done before!” Kallamar wiggled his way forward and called back to him. He shook out his robe sleeves, getting shorter and squatter as his upsettingly fluid physiology squirmed around under his bipedal guise. With a delighted gurgle, he rose up and spread three tentacles from each sleeve, raising his new arms up with a flash of white.

Ten liquid bubbles gathered from the sap and soil, hovering over the stumps. “Ten seconds to destroy them all! Have at ye, young demigod!”

Narinder stared. “What?”

“Ten! Nine!”

Oh, he meant it.

Narinder’s reflexes were sharp, his legs always half-wound springs that sent him flying at the first bubble with claws out. Its skin was tougher than expected and his lead claw curled past it, but the dew claw on his smallest finger snagged it right and tore the bubble open.

A grotesque sploosh of half-warm-too-cold gelatine that sluiced down his leg and stayed there.

“What is this!?” Narinder shrieked, his voice splitting like hairs as his tail bristled.

“Six!! Five!”

He spun with three darts in hand that burst three bubbles, and vaulted another log with a hand at his sword to tear another. That made five, with only—

“Three! Two!!”

“Kallamar!” he roared back, his sword coated in the same blue ick as his robe and hand.

“Ding-ding-ding!! You lose!” The squid trumpeted, throwing his head back with laughter.

Lost? He’d lost? Narinder never lost anything. He never failed anything.  He couldn’t lose a game like this—one of speed and reflexes and sharpness, no!

“Again!” he shouted.

The laughing stopped. “Again?”

“Start it again!” He stomped his foot, sword dripping, his leg and hand so cold they felt numb.

“Hmm!” the squid put four hands to his wide chin, pouting. “Maybe! But I want my prize for winning first.”

Narinder stiffened, ears swivelling, weight on his toes. “What prize?”

Kallamar’s face split with far too many teeth at far too many angles. Narinder was a predator in his own right, a killer and a hunter, but his fur went rigid at the sight.

“Here, kitty-kitty, dodge this!”

The first unpopped bubble sailed straight at him. Narinder twisted with a yelp, but another crashed the back of his head and erupted with cold slime down his shoulders. He screamed. It didn’t hurt—it was cold and slick and horrible but it didn’t burn or bind or harm him, and the lack of danger made his screaming worse when he took two steps and was slammed at the knees by another bubble that took out his legs.

The last two pelted his back, one and then the other, and left him in an inch-deep puddle of viscous blue slime.

He pushed his face up, spitting, the fur on his cheeks dragging down long, his whiskers coated so thick he could barely breathe, his ears dulled with gelatine.

He was so fucking cold.

Kallamar was laughing to the cloudy sky overhead, the drip-drip of his tentacles slithering over the trampled grass.

“Oh! What fun, your poor face!” he cackled, wiping one webbed hand under his eyes to stop the tears.

Narinder bared his fangs, felt the cold slick trickle into his nose, and sneezed so violently his back arched.

Kallamar doubled over, wheezing, his eyes bulging in delight.

Narinder was cold, he was embarrassed, he was sopping wet. He was a month without his mother and denied his own power. He was stuck in a puddle of slime on a bright spring day with the sun parting the overcast sky and birds were singing and Kallamar was laughing and they were too far away from the edge of camp for anyone to see or hear them.

Narinder grabbed the tentacle that counted as Kallamar’s ‘foot’and yanked it. The squid yelped and tumbled down in a glorp. Before he could think twice or Kallamar could get away, Narinder slapped a handful of muddy slime in the other demigod’s mouth.

The sound Kallamar made was worth the laughter that burst out of Narinder. His goopy tail coiled around his bent legs as the alien sound scared his ears back and he reigned it in quickly, afraid of—just afraid.

Of Shamura? Of dying? Of the Green-Eyed Queen? Yes.

As quickly as he’d laughed, tears cut through the frigid slime, like embers down his cheeks.

His mouth trembled, spit and slime on his lips. He couldn’t breathe.

He would never see Mother again. She would not groom this ick off his fur, or run her claws over his ears, or warm him with her purr. Her tail would never twine with his, and she would not pick up his blade and hand it back, and she would not be with him, and she would not come back.

And Narinder was her Lord of Lords but he was twelve years old and frightened and alone and he had never been frightened and he had never been alone and he had never had to decide what to do and he had never been told what he could not do and—

“Me too.”

Narinder was sitting in this puddle sobbing like a kitten, and he couldn’t close his mouth or stop the sounds or the tears from hiccupping out of him. When Narinder looked at Kallamar, he expected everything except the broken hinge of the squid’s mouth, or the thick-rolling green slime that counted as his tears.

“I miss everything too,” he said. “Everything from before… this.”

“W-what happened?” one lost little boy asked the other.

“The Serpent was afraid of something,” Kallamar explained, his own tears rolling into his mouth. “They called everyone in to their temple, but I got caught in the tide pool that morning and couldn’t answer the gong. I watched the waves turn red, and the sea boiled, and then everything went dark. By the time I got out there was nothing left at the seabed, just this—this hole. Like a storm beneath the sea. Everything was gone. The coral, the vents, the sand, the kelp. Just dark water too scary to swim through, so I didn’t. They’re still down there, I think. They keep pulling everything inside, and Shamura thinks one day they’ll swallow the whole world.”

And that, two small children in two large crowns decided, was too much for them to think about.

They cried until they couldn’t cry anymore. This left Narinder only wet and too cold, and Kallamar dry and too hot, so when the cat scraped one hand down his slimy sleeve he smeared it on the squid’s ugly face.

This made Kallamar laugh.

“Here,” he said, taking Narinder’s hand in two of his. “Let me show you what I brought you out here for.”

It was a spell. A little mote of magical light between his tentacles that drew the wet ick from the fur and fabric down his arm. He wasn’t quite clean, but he wasn’t wet either.

“Now you try. But not with this,” he pointed at the crown. “Just this.”

He tapped Narinder’s forehead, where the fizziness and shadows and double-vision kept coming from.

“This is where your magic will manifest. It means you aren’t like other cats, so even without your crown you’re still something different, something else.”

“What else?”

Kallamar shrugged. “Whatever Shamura and I are. Demigods, they say.”

They practiced the spell together. It was finicky, but only difficult until Kallamar talked him through the noise in his own mind. They pulled the slime off his fur and ears and tail and clothes, and with the last of it the squid gurgled shyly in his throat.

“There was one other thing,”

“You have more one other things than you do arms.”

“No, this is actually it,” he bubbled. “You’re something else. You’re something between Shamura and I. You see, their body is hard and spiny on the outside, protected even without the armor they wear. Then there’s you, who grows your bones inside your body with the soft parts outside—which is bad design, really. You’re very poorly made.”

Narinder showed his teeth. He flexed his claws too. “As poorly made as a bag of water?”

Kallamar held up another bubble of slime. “I’m not afraid to use this.”

The cat relented.

“My point is,” Kallamar continued, holding the bubble in their lap and slowly running their tendrils over and around it, peeling off slime to slick themselves after sitting so long on the prickly grass beneath the blazing sun. “Neither of us can fight like Shamura. But you don’t have your own magic, and I don’t… Well, I know lots of magic. I know spells, and enchantments, and incantations, and charms, and curses. And you…”

Narinder followed the squid’s eyes this time, and snatched up Mother’s sword from beside him.

“No,” he said.

Kallamar quickly folded himself on his ‘knees’, leaning forward. “I don’t mean give me your sword, just practice! Or your knives? I saw you practicing with a rope dart the other day and it was so fast! Imagine if you could sling spells the same way, and I could carry a sword—or a staff. Can you use a spear?”

This felt… not allowed. It felt like breaking one of Shamura’s rules. Kallamar had real duties to the war, counting food and provisioning armor and setting up where tents could go and tables set up.

But Mother had always protected him, and Narinder had never had someone boldly ask him about what she’d taught him. “I… can?”

“What about a javelin?” Kallamar asked, eyes now alight. “A glaive? Shamura has a glaive, you’ve seen it, with the gold blade and obsidian handle?”

“I have.” He had. And he’d also seen… “…their sickle chain is faster than my rope dart.”

“It is!”

On that day, two boys made a pact with each other. The older would teach the younger magic, and the younger would teach the older weapons. Through their web the spider heard all of this, even the part where they struck a bet to see who would get to hold their glaive first. It made them smile.

To Shamura’s surprise, it was Kallamar who won the bet.

Surprise became wonder, as Narinder’s Third Eye opened right as his oath-brother raised the gold blade.

Somehow, both these achievements mattered more to the Demigod of Victory than the fact that they had just been split open, mandible to abdomen, by Champion Ashblight.

“Shamura?!”

“Shamura!!”

It was a good day to die.

[First] / [Prev] / [Next]

:)

I HC Kallamar is like 15/16 at this point.

[lost--in-a-haze]

Bunny, I know where you are~ Come on out from your little hiding spot, I promise I wont tear you into pieces. yet. Oh look what we have here, a pathetic little bunny trying to hop away despite me having her hair grasped in my hand. Not the brightest are we? Truly living up to the dumb bunny reputation clealry.

Dragged across the forest floor and into the cabin, youre thrown back into your cage. for the next week you shrivel there, your eyes masked close, mouth ductaped shut. All you can think about is how you'll never see the light of day again after that escape attempt. Until that is, your grabbed by the hair and yanked out.

I told you bunny, I wouldnt tear you apart quite yet. Stop your struggling, you know its pointless bun bun. This will be your permanent home<3 now let's get to the fun part shall we?

you're forced over a table. youre neck securely chained to it, locked in place with no hope left. A sudden click.

Now bunny remember not to bite down, we wouldn't want that cute little tongue of yours getting bitten off, you wouldnt be a very good fuck toy without it.

you feel the blade gently caress your skin, it lures you into a feeling of saftey, that your sensitivity is just being tested and played with. Only for the piercing pain of being carved into with a knife to follow.

People wouldn't know youre someones pet if you didnt have your owners name on you, now would they? This is proof that you're mine, and only mine. You can never escape me now bunny <3

You scream and cry, only for the pain to continue. letter by letter, you lose a piece of what you were. you're no longer a human, but a wild animal being tamed by a sadist. the last letter is carved and you feel something wet on your back. its tracing every letter, causing a stinging sensation. He's licking up the blood?

What sweet tasting blood, I wonder if here tastes nearly as good?

He spreads your legs open as if you holding them closed were nothing. You feel his tongue embrace you. flicking your clit. wandering in and out of your dripping hole. you cant help but let out little grunts and moans from it.

You're going to make such a good pet after i break that temper of yours. <3

ripping the duct tape off your mouth, and unclocking your neck, your forced back into your cage, still blind to the world around you. trapped in darkness. At least this time you have a bowl of carrots, right? how long will it be this time though? a day? a week? a month?

[princescar]

Gonna talk about my favorite song (Android Girl) as my favorite ship ever (Matsunashi) dont mind me (I need it, my life has been HELL this past week)

Im going to do my fave Eng cover lyrics first, then im gonna pull the two choruses and the second verse from the official eng translation. Also im gonna look at this song from the perspective of my boy Yasuke.

[let's make a paradise for only us two,

can you believe i ended up with you?

"c'mon and stay, you never come around..."

this jealous give and take make memories we hate so you can sing out loud]

I feel like this is a FANTASTIC beginning, not only for the actual song, but to establish Matsushima. They were each others WORLD, they wanted to live their entire life with the other. But its also that give and take. They sacrifice so much of themselves for the other and they still feel unbalanced, especially with how Yasuke constantly feels used but acknowledges that Junko was always there when nobody else was. This also gives Yasuke the need to keep Ryoko at arms length, unsuccessfully.

[hurting me, hurting you, over and over

we said we would stop, but it was all talk, a lie to one another

we hide the truth with wordplay and rhyme

a secret language you won't get just by looking into our eyes]

This truly represents both Yasuke's constant cruel words, and sometimes actions, but also Junko's need to inflict despair onto the ones she loves. But at the same time, its their game. Its their way of communicating with one another. Yasuke says that it took up until the tragedy to realize how obsessed with despair Junko actually was, and to me that reads as though he viewed her inflicting despair onto him like how he inflicts cruel words onto her. He never truly means those things, and he thought Junko didn’t either. Its their secret game, their language.

[this love that has slowly rotted away

hidden by the delusion tax we pay

wake up, hey!

when will you realise?]

Not much here, but I definitely see this as Yasuke realizing that their love is no way healthy, and he wants her to recognize that. Even though they will never do anything to fix it.

[android girl, you're making me lose my mind!

i don't know who you are anymore its as if you were never mine

yet i, yet

i believed in you all this time]

Yasuke losing his mind by the end of Dr0, all thanks to Junko (AKA Android Girl). By the end, he literally feels like he never knew her and that she was just using him for her own benefit. Even when all HIS feelings were genuine. He spent most of his life truly believing that Junko loved him, and that belief is totally shattered by the time he dies.

[android girl, how long have i felt this way?

the kiss i shared with you was so painful that it took my breath away

i know, although

we restart, we fall apart together, what we have will drag on in this way forever!]

I see the first lyric both as how long has Yasuke loved her, but also how long has he hated her. I can see him asking himself when resentment began to grow and how did he manage to love a person like Junko. The kiss line also will forever remind me of the kiss scene between them, and how she uses poison in her lipstick to paralyze him. The last line, i personally prefer the translated ver, but the way Yasuke keeps trying to save both Junko AND their relationship. They are stuck in the loop of give and take. And Yasuke just wants the old her back. He wants to restart with Ryoko.

["oh gosh, you're just so cute!

what shall i do with you?"

i'm gonna puke..

these pleasantries are nice, but don't go biting more than you can chew!]

Yasuke being the little shit he is and refusing genuine affection. He keeps pushing people away, but he knows Junko can see past this, so he has no incentive to stop. Having your own mother forget and start to hate you has GOT to affect your self esteem in some way, and his constant isolation is a clear sign of that.

[make it stop, make it stop, there's so much guilt and regret,

i don't get how i can forget and start to hope again

and we haven't even come to the end

so much for promising "together forever", we aren't even friends!]

I see this as him regretting both the things he did to protect Junko, but also him betraying her by keeping her as Ryoko. He’s extremely pessimistic and constantly worries about everything, he cant just forget about everything and start living a normal life with her. Also the fact they it isn’t over, he still has things to cover up for Junko, loose ends to tie. The last line, Junko literally promised that they would be together forever, but i find it so fascinating that he only refers to Ryoko as either his patient or his acquaintance. Despite Ryoko calling him her friend.

[is it fine to "indulge" in you again?

will i ever feel the same as i did then?

yes or no?

tell me 'cuz here we go!]

Yasuke wondering if he should allow himself to get close to Ryoko, to indulge in the old Junko he had practically lost to time. And him wondering if he will feel the same with Ryoko as he did with Junko. He’s constantly struggling to keep her away but to also protect her, he doesn’t know what HE wants from this.

[android girl, you're making me lose my mind!

i'm yours now and forever, but do you even like me deep inside?

guess i've, guess i've

been lied to this whole damn time!]

That second lyric fits soooo well. He will always be Junko's, even after shes gone, but him wondering if she even loved him to begin with, or was she just pretending. At the end, he truly believes that he had been lied to his entire life, and she never gave a damn about him.

[android girl, how long have i felt this way?

still coming after me with that knife, i guess some things will never change

and so, although

we'll restart and fall apart together, what we have will drag on in this way forever!]

Nothing much different with this one but, like. The knife line. Guys. come on.

The rest of the lyrics repeat the two choruses, but there is a lil something.

[android girl, how long have i felt this way?

the kiss i shared with you was so painful that it took my breath away

still though, still though

my ego doesn't wanna let go

i hate you more than you'll ever know!]

Yasuke hating Junko so much in the end, that he kills her for his own sake. Even though he still loves and cares for her, he cant keep going on, so he tries to end it. He doesn’t want to let get, but he has to.

God this song KILLS me. Now time for the translations.

[Android Girl, I've gone out of my mind.

You've become mine and mine alone, but "who" exactly are you?

And to think I've trusted you

all this time, all this time]

Ryoko was truly "his", but there where times he couldn’t tell what was Junko and what was Ryoko. He didnt know who she was at the beginning of chp 3, still cautious that it was Junko. He wanted no part of her to remain in Ryoko.

[Android Girl, what was my feelings for you again?

The kiss we shared hurt so badly, I had to shut down my breath

All this time, all this time

No matter how many time I reboot this love, it cant possibly change, not even by a little bit]

I prefer this last lyric over the other, mainly because its exactly what he’s doing. He’s rebooting her, over and over. But it wont change anything, no matter how hard he tries. I feel like it encapsulates his motivation sooo well.

["Gosh, how adorable

Whatever am I going to do with you?"

I've had enough of that

Gotta resize those heart-fluttering complements]

Feel like this gets the "Yasuke likes the complements but cant handle how they make him feel so rejects them" point across sooo well.

[Annoying, annoying concurrent offences

I dont even know what I'm supposed to hope for anymore

Is it still not time for the end credits yet?

"We're always together, no matter where"? Thats seriously cringey.]

I also love this one alot, just the way it expresses the way Yasuke would feel both frustrated and hopeless. He just wants this whole thing to be over and done with. Also that last line is so in character for him, you could tell me it was a line from the book and i would definitely believe you.

[Is it ok if I were to indulge myself in "sentimentalism"?

Can I wish for those days to come back?

Yes or no?

Tell me]

Nothing much, but I love how this one feels more stuck in the past. Yasuke just wants THAT Junko back, they one who made everything ok. He wants to go back to the days where he could believe that.

[Android Girl, I've gone out of my mind.

Do you love "me" now that I've become yours and yours alone?

looks like you’ve deceived me

all this time, all this time]

Yasuke wondering if Junko loved him, or having a puppet to string along.

[Android Girl, what was my feelings for you again?

How many times did you seek me out with those rust consumed arms?

all this time, all this time

No matter how many time I reboot this love, it cant possibly change, not even by a little bit]

Nothing much again, but the line change is VERY different. I do sees this as Yasuke thinking back to all the times she needed him and wondering if it was because he was the only one there and thats the only reason she did. Do like the change, but this also keeps the robotic theme with Android girl, that works well with Junko

Anyway this song drives me insane, it fits SO FUCKING well. UGHHH

[helena-and-helena-meta]

Floral Fever 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This probably isn't the greatest, but I did want to finish floral fever, or at least bring it to a point that I wanted, know what I mean? Also, I did add a few lyrics from Compared Child, specifically Rachie's cover, within a few of the lines.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slowly, your eyes opened. You weren't in your room anymore, instead you were in a strange field of flowers, the same ones that were growing within your body.

When you try to look up, everything around you is far too bright, but it doesn't matter for very long. The flowers block your vision, you wanted to scream out, but the sound of someone approaching you silenced your voice.

Strangely, you knew who this person was, Lilith. Parallel lines meeting for the first time, the first thing she does, is speak to you.

"Those brothers of mine... I understand they're grieving but, why couldn't they understand that you are you, MC?"

Lilith kneeled, now face to face with each other.

"Why didn't you tell them that?"

You quickly turned your head, attempting to meet Lilith's gaze, despite not being able to see her properly.

"Are you out of your mind?! If I told them that... If I told them that it would've hurt them! Besides, they wouldn't have listened to me,"

You pause, catching your breath.

"No matter how hard I try... No matter who I am! They'd rather look at you, not me, never me!"

You scream, you feel guilty. You wish someone would've told you that you would hate Lilith, or, the parts of yourself that mimicked her image.

Before you can continue, you feel Lilith's hand on your cheek, wiping away tears you didn't know were there.

"Oh my dear MC..."

She spoke, her words catching within her throat. Lilith didn't know what to say at this moment, but she knew she had to speak, anything to keep her from losing you. She carefully takes your hands in hers.

"My dear MC, you may think that no one truly loves you... That all they love is what mimics me but, I love you for you,"

Softly, Lilith kisses your forehead and holds you close, softly petting your hair just like a mother would.

"No matter what you think, I'll always love you. Even if you hate me, I'll hold you tight. You're not alone anymore, MC. You've never been alone, because I will always be here, my dear child."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before you could say anything else, your eyes opened, you could no longer feel the flowers, yet your body still hurt. As you looked around you saw the brothers watching over you.

Lucifer's eyes widened as he realized you were awake, but before he or any of the others could approach, you spoke. For the first time, your voice was firm.

"Don't. Not until you can understand that just because I look like her, doesn't mean I'm her or that I'll like what she likes."

Belphie attempted to speak, but he was met with your gaze as you uncovered your left eye. Your hair falls into place, covering your right eye instead.

"I'm not Lilith, I'm MC."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[shorthaltsjester]

you hit the nail on the head with my issues on their failure to address the groups dynamic with scanlan, bc the show paints it that the group still not caring much for scanlan isn’t even an issue, when all the other characters have had these moments of the group rallying behind them during their struggles, scanlan is just kinda left with “now i finally matter bc i have real family” and that’s kinda it?

and i think the vax and scanlan dynamic suffers greatly from this too bc literally last season ended with vax admitting he didn’t believe in scanlan (“i thought you’d run back there”) while scanlan stayed bc HE believed in VAX (“i don’t believe in that matron stuff but you do and i believe in you”) yet this season just reinforces that with no payoff. vax’s only acknowledgement of scanlan was “you’re rather quiet back me up here” and that’s IT, the group as a whole had a bigger reaction to keyleth and vax kissing than scanlan returning from his coma to help😭

i never expected bard’s lament to go exactly how it did on stream nor did i expect scanlan to fully even blow up at the group but my issue is that even if we’re exclusively looking at the show’s writing w/o c1 knowledge, they focus heavily on the development of scanlan’s devotion, that he starts off selfish and becomes someone who feels a sense of devotion and responsibility to multiple people, despite having this underlying feeling that no one cares for him and he doesn’t matter. and that arc and growth has been really amazing to see, but then why have all that development over 3 seasons if over half the people he’s become devoted to STILL don’t view him in a similar light? hell even him opening up about that a LITTLE bit was just used as an immediate transition to keyleth and vax announcing they’re going for keyleth’s aramente… anyway SORRY FOR RAMBLING IN YOUR INBOX and who knows what’s to come with season 4 but i just think it’s a lil ironic that the character who’s had built up self worth issues over feeling overlooked was just… extremely overlooked in the very arc that was supposed to address it.

oh anon. yeah yeah big agree to everythigg bc said . yeah . please do not apologize for rambling in my inbox it’s so very welcome (the delay in response is because sometimes i forget this thing exists and notifications are not friends of mine so apologies for That).

but no like. truly as my criticisms have grown for tlovm re: the reliance on a pre-existing care for the story being told even if you do not have pre-existing knowledge of the story itself for audience buy-in, scanlan has long been a strong rebuttal to my concerns about what the cost of a required lack of character depth might be in a story like tlovm where character depth is integral to the themes and the plot. because like you mention season 1 and 2 really do the work of setting up scanlan and all his flaws and his dynamic in the group and his inability to be genuine with them and the pain he therefore can’t really unpack With them. and then s3, in emphasizing so much the kaylie and scanlan dynamic, kind of loses sight (or maybe. gains sight — but i’ll get to that in a sec) of scanlan’s motivation for favouring kaylie so strongly over vox machina even in a time of turmoil (e.g., seeking her out rather than sticking with the group before whitestone — while he didn’t know about the attack, he Did know they were in the middle of Very Short Timeline End Of Dragon Fighting Urgency, his comment at the end of the season that kaylie is his Real family). and it also doesn’t use the group’s recognition of the fact that kaylie is this powerful force for scanlan at all since they don’t even know about kaylie until half way through the season and most of them don’t even get lines about the fact that scanlan is in a coma at all so. picking battles ig.

idk man it’s like. yeah i also didn’t expect a 1-for-1 bards lament and i actually agree with the sentiment that a perfectly written vox machina adaptation might not have any bards lament moment at all, but given the two seasons of character writing setting up the very same issues that amounted to bards lament in the campaign, there was a requirement for some release of that tension for a story that i would call well done, and, well. we got a calm and collected scene. for the sake of a happy and satisfying ending. in the vox machina show. yknow. based on a campaign notorious for its happy ending.

time doesn’t exist and i can’t remember if this ask was sent before or after the round table from my personal hell where sam explicitly said that most if not all of the scanlan and kaylie scenes were rewritten After Recording because it wasn’t until then that they’d realized what scanlan’s motivations were . that paired with the tlovm team talking about wanting to avoid cliffhangers at the end of s3 so not having bards lament but then still including a cliff hanger with the whispered one stuff. i will always enjoy tlovm because those are my blorbos made real with animation but. sometimes they are Not my blorbos sometimes they are bad iterations of them. it doesn’t matter that their creators are in the writers room if every messy part of the characters that make them compelling and humanizes them have been reduced until easy to swallow and wrap up with conveniently satisfactory end-of-season beats. i won’t call it objectively bad character writing (but i think it is) but i will say it has been extremely hard to get my non-critter/dnd friends who tend to enjoy stories for the characters in them to enjoy tlovm, since they almost always lose interest in characters they see as fairly flat with occasional bursts of depth that just highlight how flat they appear otherwise, and most of those friends have identified scanlan as a high point of the character writing. which is maybe why i find the choices around his arc deflation the most :/-inducing