#and yet I’m having this horribly visceral reaction

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[dontlookatmytmntcollection]

(I didn’t find any info if your askbox is closed or not, if you are not taking up requests you can ignore this!)

But hi :) how are you? how you are doing well

this is a bit personal, but would you mind doing either a Headcanon or scenario with reader x turtles (romantic/crush stage) with a…Hopeless reader? Kinda someone who had to tell themselves that love isn’t on their life journey and that seriously bother them? Lol

this weekend I’m gonna attend a friends wedding, while meeting with some shared friends before the wedding, one of them quoted corpse bride’s scene “to Emily, always the bridesmaid, never the bride” for me (most of my friends are married or dating long term), usually I handle the lack of a love life fairly well (by not thinking about it or just making jokes about it lol) but tonight it kinda really bothered me, a lot.) a lot of my friends treat me being single as something I don’t out efforts in it? But holy shit I do, and it really hurts to see them saying or acting like I’m not doing enough? Anyways. I guess the request would be how the turtles would react to a reader who kinda just lost hope, who agrees with the quote even if it makes her very sad? Kinda trying to wing the night lowkey but turtles can sense it hurt her (maybe Vern said the quote lol, or something similar… that’s something stupid enough for the falcon to do 😅)

I hope makes sense, if not I apologize for the messy ask. Have a good day / night

I'm sorry that happened. Your friends definitely need to stfu about that lol dating and relationships are fun, but nobody NEEDS them. If they need a RELATIONSHIP to feel fulfilled, they have shit to figure out.

Definitely been there tho. And being single can be horrible. I see you

Scene: Your turtle has been secretly pining for you for a while now. Hasn't got the guts to say anything yet.

TMNT x Lonely Reader

Leo

- He could sense your reaction instantly, despite how well you hid it.

- Your micro expressions, the slight but sudden shift of your bodyweight away from Vern- Leo almost didn't catch that you had smiled and laughed at the comment.

- His own reaction was visceral and overwhelming, at least it was to him.

-He remained still by your side, but the urge to...he didn't even know. Hide you. Push hard at Verns shoulder- something.

-Geez. He hadn't felt like this since he was a child. Like he could protect his little brothers or you from judgment or cruelty.

-He couldn't.

-He sucked in a breath through his nose, scrambling for self-control; watching you handle the interaction like an adult. Forcing himself to as well.

-But it did satisfy him to see that Vern physically felt his animosity. The guy took once glance at Leo before he instantly stuttered an excuse to walk to another conversation.

-"Vern is an idiot." Leo scratched out, desperate to keep what he really wanted to say to you at a minimum. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you."

-You seemed surprised at that, glancing up at him. But your quite, sincere smile made it it worth it.

Raph

- "Always the brides maid, never the bride, huh?"

- "What?" It was a reactive response. Before you could even register what he had said, or the sudden amount of hurt- or embarrassment you felt.

- Raph had turned wide, expectant eyes on Vern as well, something Vern noticed instantly.

- "Well, yunno." Vern stutteres, trying to stay focused on you. "I've seen ya at these events a lot but you never bring a guy around...or-"

-"See that girl over there?" Raph suddenly said, leaning down a little to point your gaze in the right direction.

- "Yeah." You said quietly.

-"Who's that girl, Vern?"

-Vern looked back at you guys, shrugging and putting his hands back in his pockets with an air of pride. "She's my girlfriend."

-Raph smirked, his voice somehow both condescending and unusually soft. "Vern met her a week ago. That makes her..." Raph trailed off, looming back into his full height, towering over Vern. "The sixth one this year, right. Makin' you real good at givin' advice to pretty girls, Falcon boy. Careful with that."

-"Jesus. I'm just- I'll be over there." Vern sighed, awkwardly stepping aside then walking out of sight.

- Raph said nothing, instead turning to you. "You alright?"

-You were desperate not to say everything you wanted to. "Much better." You said instead, looking up at him. Hoping the softness you saw there was a reflection of what you felt for him too.

Donnie

- Donnie couldn't even react or register the words before you were handling it. Shrugging and waving Vern off.

-He was horrified. His eyes were glued to Vern, completely confused that the guy had missed how rude of a statement that was.

-The conversation came and went, and while he had a wonderful time, he was entirety focused on you.

-While you didn't seem MISERABLE, you were different. Something had obviously changed. And it was Verns fault.

-You had no reason to feel pressure of that kind. You were perfect the way you were! No one should ever, ever, ever make you feel anything less.

-The thought that you did made him physically sick to his stomach.

-He might not have caught it in time to say anything in the moment.

-But Verns apartment locks, car, computer, and bathroom pipes all giving him a hard time all in the next 24 hours?

-A complete and utter mystery...

Mikey

-"Yeah you should listen to him." Mikey said.

-Shock coursed through you. "What?" You looked at him, wide eyed, heart in your throat- "W- I should-"

-"You should listen to him." Mikey repeated, noding solumley, starting to confidently strole around Vern. "This guy has fantastic dating advise. You don't even know, girl. Look at him!" Mikey's smile was as bright as the sun, gesturing to Vern as if he was a plater he was showing off to you.

-"He's been on this earth so long, his life experience exceeds our very comprehension, girl."

-Vern made a sudden puzzled expression while yours melted quickly into a smile.

-"He's got recipes too. Qualifications, evidence, the whole nine yards. Guy has like- twelve grand kids-"

-"I- C'mon, Mike-" Vern was catching on.

-"Ohhh.. yeah, that's right. No grandkids. But he does have a wife. They just had their fiftieth anniversary-!"

-"I'm not that o- He's joking with you." Vern tried to explain. "I'm not married."

-Mikey snapped his fingers as he had remembered something, suddenly getting much, MUCH closer in Verns personal space.

-"Oh yeah, that's right. You're not married. I forget that your on, like, your sixth girlfriend this month. Maybe actual advise sounds like..."

-Mikey stepped away from Vern, standing infront of you. "Keep those standards up, girl. Pretty face like yours? You could have anyone you want."

-You couldn't stop smiling.

[corviiids]

back in your asks unfortunately you can’t get rid of me. i’m going to keep enablign you.

you bringing up the kr version of hurricane and the martyr complex light has in it is great bc what fascinates me about hurricane as a song is how radically different it is in different languages? as we all know in the manga light has this horrible visceral reaction to what he’s done. he looks like he’s gonna be sick when he has that guy hit by a truck. when ryuk turns up he admits that he’s been losing weight and barely sleeping. but the musicals differ so massively in how light is portrayed? because in english light seems to have this very strong sense of justice from the start - in where is the justice he denounces the corporations corrupting the legal system and asks “how can we turn away and say that’s just the way things are?” and then in hurricane he hardly seems upset at all by what he’s done. he seems vaguely surprised at how easy it was and then turns around and sings about how he’s got this insanely strong, perfect, untraceable power that he’s going to use to deliver righteous retribution. BUT then the jp versions of witj and hurricane are much less certain and light seems more horrified and then hopeful. the focus is on creating a perfect world, not necessarily punishment. he’s more a glass half full kinda guy. and then it changes AGAIN in the kr. it’s so fascinating he is a completely different version of himself in all three versions and i just need to ask. what are your opinions on this. am i making this up. do you understand how my brain is firing

you are NOT making this up and i DO understand how your brain is firing. listen. listen. in that same post about light/achilles (intertextual comparison not ship) (although?) and prompted by a response from someone else cool i reposted these tweets (which you have literally just seen because i shoved them at you but ill post them again so everyone can see)

to me it is like, very key that every iteration of light yagami SEEMS really different. in their behaviour, their values, what it takes to push them to acting and how they react, etc - obv you've brought up light as he appears in the three most well known languages the musical exists in, but i also am a huge fan of comparing his animanga self (already two different iterations to an extent) with the tv drama, which has maybe the most distinctive version of light out of all of them and which i BELIEVE? drew criticism? but i am not 100% because i was not here for this because i watched death note for the first time in fucking february. because i am hip with the kids. #rad

anyway this is part of a much larger ramble of mine that i am not really doing justice here but i actually really like that that version of light is so incredibly different - and yet he really isnt, somehow, because he ends up not only at the same ending but recognisable as the same person. that's what i think is so interesting! these differences are undeniably there and they're BIG - as you said, between musicals he ranges from being a vengeful guy on a power trip to being an idealist with a martyr complex, and you'd think those are two totally different sets of core values. between animanga vs tv drama he goes from being this cool and collected hyper prepared cynical idealist to being a depressed nihilist who's working extremely hard to shed his own ability so he doesn't have to deal with the pain of caring. again, these seem, and factually are, completely different sets of values.

and yet they're actually perfectly reconcilable. every iteration of light no matter how distinct and no matter how much their core values seem to oppose or contradict each other ends up reconciling into the same guy partway through the story, where all of these different directions he's been going in all converge. his priorities even out - regardless of if it was the power trip that came first or the desire for the perfect world, they balance ultimately and coexist. regardless of whether his idealism led him to bitter radicalisation or nihilism, they also balance ultimately and coexist. is light affected by his first murder? yes - how does it show it? that differs, but none of the lights are actually deluded enough to think that murder is good. they all think it's bad but defensible and justifiable and then visibly cope with that fact in different ways. light looks like a VERY different man depending on which of his values are being pushed to the fore in a given interpretation, but all that really does is serve to spell out exactly how complex he is internally once you watch them all converge at around similar points in the story, even when at the barest and most uncharitable interpretation he just looks like a maniacal serial killer with a delusional god complex. this is why i like him so much unfortunately

also none of this applies to netflix light who is irreconcilable and irredeemable. and white

[hasufin]

You've probably seen clips from this. This is Sen. Josh Hawley's speech to the RNC, in which he directly calls for Christian Nationalism.

I watched the entire thing. It's... it's a ride.

The weird thing is, sandwiched in the middle of his ahistorical bullshit and his Christian Nationalism, is an economic proposal which would fit right in at the DNC. It's weird.

Anyway, below is my complete reaction to it:

So, against my better judgement, I did listen to the speech.

Now, I’ve been reluctant to do so. It has been my experience that American Rightwing Christians tend to speak in a sort of dialect; that they tend to say things which – to an outsider such as myself – seem terribly incendiary, aggressive, and deeply unpersuasive. I’ve had Christian friends explain to me, of preachers “Yes, I know that sounds horrible to you, but that’s just how they talk in the Church”. And thus, I did ask this question [on Quora] to among other things give those within that community an opportunity to explain his words. I have, I confess, been disappointed: what I’ve received instead has been dismissal; just refusal to acknowledge that the things being said would reasonably be interpreted as threatening to one not steeped in that culture. Dismissal, I will say, serves to affirm our concerns: it’s like how Kavanaugh claimed that Roe was “settled law”… until he voted to overturn it. We don’t trust dismissal, because it has been a lie in the past and we expect it to be a lie in the future.

Now, the first few minutes of Hawley’s speech present me with a conundrum.

You see, he gives a brief historical recount of the fall of the Roman Empire, and of the Puritans (whom I have never before heard referred to as Augustinians, but again, I’m just not fluent in this particular patois.)

And the problem here is, his narrative is simply false. I mean, he pinpoints the early 400s as the fall of the Western Roman Empire – fair enough – but that’s also when Christianity became the majority religion of that empire; characterizing them as pagans as that point, and “paganism” as the cause of the fall of the Empire is quite ridiculous. But I’ll come back to that later, and why it’s deeply disturbing to me.

And then the Puritans. Again, I’ve never really heard them called Augustinians but that’s reasonably an oversight on my part – I’m of the opinion that their influence on the American colonies is somewhat overstated, but that’s just my opinion. His characterization of them is I think somewhat lack in nuance and reality, but the how and why of that seems important.

So I’m left with a bit of a conundrum. Do I assume his actual knowledge of history is that of a disinterested high schooler? Do I assume he just plain doesn’t know what he is talking about? If that’s the case, I – and everyone else - really ought to disregard whatever he says of policy: he is a fool, and we oughtn’t be led by fools.

But, perhaps he does know better? Yet, that’s worse. If he knows that the Roman empire did not fall due to “Paganism”; that the Puritans were a particularly intolerant sect of Reformationists who found freedom overly threatening and ultimately declined largely due to the infighting which is characteristic of rightwing authoritarian groups. If he knows this, and offers an ahistorical alternative instead, then he is a liar, and should be directly opposed.

One can slice that Gordian knot by realizing he offers these not as history, but as mythology. It’s not whether they’re true, but what they’re meant to communicate. However, as a non-Christian, that’s… that’s actually worse.

His decision, then, to attribute the downfall of Rome to corruption, to loving pleasure and self-indulgence, is important. Now, I think we all know that Rome did not fail because their soldiers were just too busy drinking and having sex. But that claim appeals to a disgust-based morality: it indulges in a visceral hatred of those excesses. And that same disgust-based morality can be used to justify any number of horrors. It’s a disgust-based morality which ties a gay man to a fence and leaves him to die; that beats a transwoman to death; that decides Jews are baby eaters and condemns them to ghettoes and them to death.

His ahistorical account ignores the entire history of Christian internal warfare. It pretends that the Puritans were an inclusive society – rather than one which executed their own on the mere allegation of them being people like me.

And I’m hearing him proceed further, to claim all things good… indeed, the utter ridiculousness of claiming specifically secular achievements as Christian. This is a fact-free speech, which is intended to appeal to a particular audience of which I – and any other non-Christian – is not a member. He proclaims that as a non-Christian I should embrace Christianity… after having lied and said many of distinctly non-Christian things are Christian. I mean, if you define Christian as “the stuff I want to claim” and non-Christian as “everything else” then sure… but that’s not what those things mean, and we’re back to that conundrum: is he a liar or a fool?

And then he gets back to his disgust-based morality, his appeal to hatred, his lies about his opposition, and just outright about what is going on right now.

Ah, and here we are: “the left” is evil, “the left” wants to destroy. And… wait, did he just claim that liberals like Ayn Rand? What??? And Milton Friedman? How… how does anyone buy this? I’m sorry, what the hell is this?

He is literally saying that the left is against god. This speech very literally demonizes his opposition. He lies about people, and and paints them as simply being against good. I wonder how anyone considers this as acceptable at all. This is Blood Libel.

Now, wait, he’s deriding other republicans? And saying that it was republicans who spearheaded DEI? I’m just confused here. Basically, it seems like he’s saying literally anyone who opposes him is evil, and he will make up Any Damned Thing to paint them that way.

Being honest, I’m not sure I am all that interested in the second half of this. Hist first half, in which he very literally calls everyone who isn’t on his side evil; in which he says the left is against love and god. I recognize that he doesn’t directly say “let’s put all the liberals in camps and kill them”, but this is the rhetoric which is used to justify these things. The policies he puts forth afterwards are less incendiary – and it’s kind of weird that he had to open a policy proposal which matches rather well with the liberal platform, with demonization of liberals, and I don’t know how anyone can reconcile that. But, y’know, he also claimed that liberals like Ayn Rand and Milton Friedman, so there’s a lot of contradiction there.

Oh, wait now he’s directly speaking against religious liberty. He’s saying directly that religious liberty is only valuable because it lets us all practice the same religion, and that Christianity is our national religion. So we’re back to Deeply Disturbing here. “More civil religion, not less”. Atheists are evil, they hate Christianity, this other not-religious thing is religion, trans people are evil… yeah. And he wants direct endorsement of Christianity. Now, I don’t think that taking down a pride flag is directly oppression, but I definitely see it as a first step: establishing that not-Christianity is a religion, and should be supplanted with Christianity by the state. So, having listened to this… I would dismiss him as a madman if he weren’t giving a speech at the RNC. But he is. And I see what he’s saying as setting the foundation for much worse. There’s nothing good to come of defining Everyone Else as being evil.

[0nelittlebirdtoldme]

Seeing TikTok and the reactions of ppl after chapter 34, it’s clear it’s their first contact with dark romance and noncon content and they’re going apeshit about it insulting the author, saying she’s romanticizing rape and that she’s disgusting and anyone who enjoys Jinx is disgusting as well.

But they’ll still come back next chapter to see what happens in the story. Tbh I enjoy dark content and non/dubcon, have been reading about it for years now, but the “omg that’s gross whoever wrote this is disgusting” is the visceral reaction I first had before I admitted to myself I was actually into that. I also think that’s the case with a lot of these people, either that or they love torturing themselves coming back every 10 days. Jae violently SA’d Dan in the first few chapters. Chapter 12 was a thing. I know chapter 34 was a lot, it shocked me as well, but it’s not like people didn’t know Jaekyung was a piece of shit. I guess it’s mostly people loving Jaekyung for his redeemed version that doesn’t exist yet, holding onto the fact that he’s gonna get better while refusing to acknowledge how horrible he is now.

I’m just here to see Jaekyung be horrible tbh because that’s why I read Jinx. He can do worse. I want to see him grovel later, but now he can do whatever he wants.

.

[darethshirl]

solas exchange fics!!

this post is criminally late omg but I finally got around to it! This was by far the most fun I’ve ever had with an exchange (not to toot our own horn lmao) and there were so many many many beautiful works created that I’m gonna rec more fics than usual!

My gifts:

strike a match (whisper my name) by @dreadfutures (Solas & Dorian, 8500 words, T rated)

Blood magic. Blight magic. Time magic.

From the earliest troubles of the Inquisition, it is clear that the topics are intertwined, and Dorian is determined to tease it all out. He is, after all, the brightest thaumaturge Minrathous has seen in an Age.

If only Solas would recognize the fact, they might truly get somewhere.

A Dorian pov that’s both delightful and makes you feel things 🥺🥺 Dorian is so very clever, and pushes back juuust enough to get some fun reactions from Solas 👀👀 Also this fic follows them both through-out the inquisition AND afterwards, so that was Fun 👀

-

Fen'Harel and the Halla by sweaterghost (Fen’harel & Ghilan’nain, 2500 words, T rated)

Reality seems to break, as if Ghilan’nain has torn it apart with her hands.

The new creature emerges from that break as if born, bloody and panting on the floor of Ghilan’nain’s laboratory.

And it is horrible.

Or: Solas remembers his friendship with Ghilan'nain and how it fell apart. Told in vignettes.

Some G L O R I O U S horror happening in this fic 👀👀👀👌👌👌Beautiful and dark and visceral, this was everything I could have ever hoped for in a Ghilan’nain fic 👌 gimme more cold pitiless mad scientist Ghil please and thank you

My offering:

shed all your layers (Anders & Solas, 4300 words, T rated)

When Anders returns blearily to consciousness the first thing he sees is the earthy ceiling of a cave, badly illuminated by a nearby campfire. The second thing he sees, when he turns his head, is a pair of luminescent eyes staring right at him.

“Maker!” Anders jerks upright, scrambling for his staff. His magic flares up in a sputtering, flimsy barrier. “What the—who the hell are you?”

The pair of eyes belongs to an elven man, crouching next to Anders, wearing traveler’s clothes and a neutral, calm expression. “Good. I see your body has recovered,” he says, evidently unfazed by both the shouting and the magic. He rises up—and up, and up; this stranger is tall—and turns back towards his campfire. “Do try not to make any more sudden movements though.”

—

Two hermits, carrying their own secrets, stumble upon each other.

well!! I don’t have anything to say about this other that I had an enormous amount of fun writing it! 😂 I never knew how much I wanted these two to snipe at eachother until I had it. Also while Justice wasn’t a significant enough presence to merit his own tag, his ghost haunts the narrative the entire time

special shoutouts to:

where all roads lead by @apostacism/wilderferns (Solas/Female Lavellan, 10000 words, T rated)

"Lavellan sometimes came awake from dreams in which her lover watched her sadly from across an endless distance."

Solas means to stay away. It would be easier in the long run. Yet he turns ever back to her, chasing in dreams what he cannot have in reality.

one of the most AMAZING!!!! solavellan fics I’ve read in ages!!! like seriously if you like this ship and you read nothing else on this list PLEASE give this one a try, it’s so lyrically beautiful and a PERFECT Solas characterisation and honestly I’m still reeling from this fic, it’s gonna be living rent-free on my mind pretty much permanently from now on 👌

-

The Eyes of Gods by @edda-grenade/apfelgranate (Mythal & Solas, 2000 words, T rated)

Pride has grown in power from a mere spirit, in serving as the All-Mother’s messenger. Mythal thinks it should keep growing, but Pride has reservations. 

gorgeous gorgeous prose, very atmospheric and evocative and, for the lack of a better term, Mythological TM. Also Solas’s depiction as a spirit in this is one of the best I’ve seen!

-

Celestine Black by @queenaeducan/theharellan (Josephine & Solas, 2400 words, G rated)

Though Skyhold's guests may be of noble blood, their manners often leave much to be desired. When one insults the Inquisition's resident magical expert, who just so happens to be an apostate, Josephine takes it upon herself to remedy the situation. In typical Montilyet fashion. 

as always this author delivers pure gold! a very thoughtful and careful character study both of Josephine and of Solas as seen though her clever eyes. Delightful!

-

in our eternity, only darkness reigns by @rosella-writes (Dirthamen & Solas, 2000 words, T rated)

Solas accompanies the Inquisitor to the Lost Temple of Dirthamen. The experience digs up old memories Solas had nearly forgotten.

SUCH a good, dark atmosphere in this one! Also the Solas Angst TM is unparalleled 👌👌 read this if you want to feel the crushing weight of an unchaning, uncaring world lol

AND ALRIGHT this post is already getting too long so I’m gonna really really super quickly mention some other fics I liked:  this Alistair & Solas fic (seeing Solas though a stranger eyes is swiftly becoming my favourite trope ever, and Alistair’s voice here is absolutely fantastic), this Zevran/Solas fic (the flirting!! my god 🥰), this Iron Bull/Solas fic (soulmates au but make it HURT 👌)  and this solavellan fic (super ambitious, super intriguing, super pretty!)

okay I’m done!! whoof! also seriously just check the rest of the collection cause SO MANY of the works we got were gorgeous and I only talked about less than half of them!!! go see them for yourself!! and thank you to everyone who participated 🥰🥰🥰

[its-your-mind]

Fun side-effect of binging c2 while being caught up on c3: the visceral reaction I have whenever ludinus’s name comes up bc at this point (50+ eps in) he’s just a probably sketchy evil mage amongst a group of shitty mages. We don’t even know the specificity of his shitty actions quite yet. He’s a name in a list with a boring-ass title BUT I quite literally yell obscenities at the screen whenever his name is even MENTIONED. Feeling jurgen leitner rant level emotions about this bitch ass elf. Stupid bitch is out here kidnapping people and running basement experiments and starting wars so he can get his hands on some ~special magics~ to??? fucking let a god-eater loose??? with NO APPARENT PLANS BEYOND THAT. Just gonna release the god-eater and kill the gods. Good thing he has a high ranking government position and the respect and support of dozens of other powerful mages. This bitch isn’t even on Wildemount and he’s pulling his bullshit!!! gives no shits about the empire. no shits about xhorhas. Motherfucker just wanted to set a horrible unknown entity free bc he has a hang-up about the fact that things that are more powerful than him Exist In The World. God I hate this fucking elf. I hope Beau gets to punch him in the FUCKING face just one time. Just cuz I need someone to. I don’t know how I am going to handle myself when he becomes an active antagonist. I give it 50/50 odds I throw the remote at the tv while I’m watching. stupid tiffany hair ass bitch. all I desire is for ashton to hit his head off with their hammer is that too much to ask. Let Imogen blast his ass with a lightning bolt. Get chetney to carve toys out of his bones while Deanna yells at him and shames him for all his bad decisions. He deserves to die in the most embarrassing manner possible. Let’s get pate to cast uhhhhh inflict wounds after laudna throws him like a rubber chicken. That sounds good.

[cuttherope]

How Impressive

Summary: First time meeting the android Connor. Things are starting to work in your favor.

Relationship: Connor{Detroit: Become Human} X Reader

Word count: 2000+

Authors note: Hello! This is my very first story written on this platform! I'm not entirely sure how things work yet, so please send me your tips and tricks and notes about the story! Feel free to DM any request you might have! Not a lot happens in this chapter of the story, but I will be adding more chapters and things will only go up from there. Thank you for reading this <333

Chapter 1

It was a normal day at the office. I had gone through my regular routine that morning: waking up at 7:00 am sharp, brushing my teeth, putting on my most comfortable clothes and making my way over to the bus station that would then take me toward the police station downtown. I made my way to my tidy desk, which pined itself against the front of Hank’s. I placed your bag next to my chair, and sat down in a huff, finally clocking in for work. There was so much paperwork and files to go through I didn't even know where to begin. The first task I could think of  doing was to prepare my body for the 9 hour work day ahead of me and get myself a nice, hot cup of coffee. Slowly getting back up from my chair, I made my  way over to the corner of the office. Seeing as there were blueberry muffins on the counter next to the coffee machine. I picked one up and ate piece after piece of it, my eyes fixed on the motion of breaking off a bit and placing it in my mouth .I was pretty much finished eating the muffin once my coffee cup had filled to the brim and was almost spilling over.  

“Geez slow down, it's not gonna run away from you.”  I moved my eyes up from the muffin in my hand, not stopping the motion. My whole body had a horrible visceral reaction to the tall figure standing in front of me. Rolling my eyes, I ignore the comment, and reach over to the coffee machine, grabbing the cup and placing one foot in front of the other in an attempt to avoid the whole situation.

“A kid like you shouldn't be drinking coffee ya know. You should wait until you’ve finished growing.” The man laughed sarcastically at his own joke, like it was the most hilarious thing he or anyone had ever said. I stopped in my tracks and hunched my back, sighing loudly into the motion. 

“Good morning Gavin…” The words left my mouth involuntarily. The sentence had become such a routine that it was practically muscle memory by now.

“Aw Good morning to you too sweetheart! Let's see that bright smile!” He was once again sarcastic in his voice. Making fun of me to my face, without any thought about it at all. He then walked towards the coffee machine, making himself a drink, the same as I had done. As I made my way towards the exit of the lounge room another man had walked in. His stature was much bigger than that of Gavin's, but much less intimidating. You could just tell this man had a pure heart. My eyes glanced down to his jacket, on its right read ‘RK800’. Of course, it's another one of those androids, but I don't recognize the model number, it must be new.

My pace had slowed, I’m not sure whether it was because of the hold this man had on me or just the pure knowledge that Gavin would say something rude in an attempt to rile up the poor thing. Like I had imagined, Gavin stands up from leaning against the coffee table in the break room, making a few smart aleck comments about the bot, before  asking him to bring Gavin another coffee. Geez sometimes Gavin can never let people have a break, he's always got to make their lives hard. The android did as told and brought Gavin a cup of coffee, only for Gavin to shove the cup out of his face, spilling the coffee all over my shirt and pants. 

“Look what you did? And you're supposed to be the most intelligent being out there? Do me a favor… stay out of my way.” Gavin walked out of the room, without eye contact and the  confident posture of a high school bully. I made my way over to the android, grabbing some paper towel for the coffee that had spilled on him also. 

“You can’t give in to Gavin. He's like that to everyone. Trust me, the best thing for you to do is avoid him.” I offered a few of the napkins to the android. He carefully took them from my hand, and carefully patted his suit of any spots that had been affected by the spill. He didn't say anything, only making slight eye shifts towards me here and there. 

“I'm detective l/n. I work alongside Lieutenant Anderson. I’m not sure we’ve met yet.” I switch the coffee into my left hand in order to free my right, extending it for a handshake. 

“Hello, I'm Connor, the android sent my CyberLife. You are correct, we have yet to meet, I don't recognize your face.” The android's voice was monotone, but calming. It had a rich and smooth tone to it, and unlike the other artificial sounding android voices, his just sounded real, and intimate, like what he said actually had meaning to him, and weren’t just words. 

“ I don't recognize your model number.”

“I'm a prototype, I was created to assist police personnel in investigations involving deviant androids.” He was so blunt, so straight to the point. I didn't mind it. 

“Deviants? I’ve heard about them a few times. I've tried to convince Hank to let me help with the investigation, but every time he shuts me down. I find the whole thing quite intriguing.” Connor didn't respond, only looking down at my shirt, then looking back up to meet my eyes. I was so interested in this android that by the time I had noticed that I forgot to clean my shirt of the spilled coffee, it had already started to dry. 

“ I need to put my jacket back on, it's not professional to be walking around the station with a giant coffee stain on my shirt. Walk with me?”  He nodded in agreement, waiting for me to lead the way back to my desk. Once we arrived, I slipped on the jacket and zipped it up, catching a glance from Hank who had finally showed up for work. 

“Nice to see you Hank. You know this has been the earliest you've shown up this month. How impressive!” I was a bit frustrated, seeing that I was stuck with all the boring work back in the office, while Hank was out on the field getting to do the exciting part. Yet I was the one who actually put in the required effort for the job. 

“Nice coffee stain. How impressive.” I rolled my eyes, fulling zipping my jacket. He was blunt, but that's why we got along. He could deal with my attitude and I could deal with his sarcastic tone. 

“I see you've met the android. You better get acquainted soon, since you'll be working in close proximity to one another.” I raise one of my eyebrows, questioning the older man's statement.

“Oh?” I asked, puzzling. 

“Well, seeing as we’re now all working together, and there's only, let's see here… two desks. I've voluntold you to share it with the android.” I look over at the android who has his hands resting at his sides, expressionless. 

“How is that supposed to work? There's barely enough room for the both of us over here.” I pleated, not for the fact of sharing, but for the interest of the android. I know I’m not well organized. It's going to be ten times worse now that two people, well one person and one android need to share the small space. Hank leaned back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head. His shoulders shrugged and his mouth pursed. There was no protesting the situation, I'll just have to make due. 

“ I'm sorry for being a burden detective, but I am a highly organized android. I promise to not disturb you, or your work. I'm here to help you, not to frustrate you.” That last sentence he said, why did it stick to me like glue? Why was it on repeat in my mind for so long? It was so innocent, but really it made me want for him to frustrate me. For him to talk to me whenever he could, or poke my shoulder whenever he had a question, or loom over me when I was in the middle of viewing a profile. We had only met that day, but there was something so special about him, something I hadn't noticed in other androids. Maybe it was because he was brand new, so was more advanced than the other, more personable. I knew instantly that working beside him each day would be a blessing and a curse. 

I sat down at my desk and began working on the many, many profiles I had to sort through for the case. Slowly Connor had placed one hand on the back of my chair and the other on my desk, very close to my hand. He leaned his body closer to the back of head. 

“ I could do that for you, if you’d like?” His voice was quiet and soft, like an attempt to not be a distraction to either Hank or my work. I nodded slowly after a few seconds, wanting to draw out the closeness of his body to mine for as long as I could. I turned the chair around, and offered him the seat. He took it, and began to scroll through the profiles of deviants androids on the computer screen in front of him. In less than a minute he had gone through the hundreds of profiles that would have taken me hours to complete.

“243 files. First date back nine months. An AX400 is reported to have assaulted a man last night. That could be a good starting point for our investigation.” How impressive this body of wires and metal was. But Hank wasn't interested. Letting out a sigh, and turning back towards his computer. After a few seconds, the android had gotten up from the seat and made his way over to the Lieutenant. But still Hank remained fixated on the work, not wanting to engage himself with the bot.

“I know you didn't ask for this investigation-” Hank interrupted Connor, swearing at him, only for this to result in an even more frustrated response from the android. I had never seen one stand up for themselves. I had always assumed that the wishes of their ‘bosses’ came before the needs of their own. But Connor had a mission, and nothing was going to come between him and the accomplishment of his tasks. It was quite remarkable, and it made me even more excited to work with him, knowing he wasn't just going to be another stick in the mud, like many of the other, human cops in this station.

I watched as his body tensed slightly, seeing a slight clench in his jaw, and twitch in his eyebrow. I watched as his breathing became heavier and his chest puffed, his jacket hugging his figure to show the lines of his chest. He snapped his head to look at me, shifting his eyes between mine and the back of Hank's head, almost in a plea to intervene.  His look alone was enough to intimidate anyone who was caught in it. It commanded attention, it could steal a breath from anyone's lungs, and even though I knew he wasn't frustrated with me, I still felt my body freeze at the tension he admitted.   Before things could escalate further I placed myself between the two men, with my body facing that of Hanks. Raising my voice enough to gain the attention and silence from the both of them.

“Hank, it might be worth it to go check things out. Who knows what we could find. Maybe it'll be useful stuff, and if it isn't, we can always just leave.” Hank's eyes shifted from my own to Connors who was standing behind me. 

“Five minutes. That's it. And if there's nothing interesting, we leave.” A large grimace constructs itself on my face, happy with my convincing excuses. 

“Leave in a few minutes then?” I questioned.

“What? No. You're not coming. You're staying here like I've said before.” Hank had explained, grabbing his jacket from his chair, and putting it on, walking away from me in a huff. Connor followed behind us silently.

“If you let me come, I'll watch over Connor so you wont need to.” The bearded man stopped in his tracks. Taking a minute to think of the proper response to my proposal. He finally answered without turning back around.

“Stay out of the way…and please for the love of god don't touch anything.. Either of you.”

[illwilledomen]

Time to ramble angrily like a cranky old man. Do not reblog this, this is entirely just me spewing my inner thoughts

Due to my great mistake of making an account on the Bird App, I have a viscerally negative reaction to reading or hearing the word ‘problematic’. Even typing it out made me mad. Not at the subject which is being deemed it, but rather, at the person saying it, because nine times out of ten they’re extremely annoying and are about to go on some deranged passive-aggressive rant about how eating pasta is rooted in colonialism.

Worse yet when they say someone or something is ‘problematic’ because of what they deem to be ‘bad vibes’. I am usually in favour of trusting your gut, because I can say for myself that listening to my inner sense of danger has gotten me out of many potentially dangerous situations, but an even better tool is one known as logical thinking. I’m not sure if twitteroids realise this but just because someone or something has a ‘bad vibe’ does not give you the ok to attack it mindlessly.

Apparently many of these people think that it is morally OK to harass someone solely because they’ve convinced themselves that because the person had done something bad, it’s free reign. They say ‘why don’t you apologise? Why don’t you apologise?’ And then when that person does, it’s never good enough, and because that apology was considered not good enough, it’s now ok to mindlessly harass them even more.

Don’t get me wrong - There are many famous figures which enter controversy for valid reasons, and I dislike them for what they have done. But what are you achieving by telling them to kill themselves, mocking their appearance/art/tragic things that have happened to them, threatening them, or otherwise acting like nothing more than a pack of rabid animals with the ability to talk? Is there such thing as civility anymore?

The majority of twitter’s user base is a bunch of brain-dead, act-before-thought judgemental gremlins who care not for who or why, but rather what new thing they can throw their pebbles and shriek at.

They used the wrong wording or misinterpreted what someone said? THEY MUST DIE!!!! Their artstyle isn’t the 700th generic anime girl? THEY MUST DIE!!!! They made art to express their feelings and dared to be mentally unwell in any way that isn’t deemed cute or trendy? THEY MUST DIE!!!!! They made a distasteful joke 16 years ago? THEY MUST DIE!!!!!!

You know a few years ago I would’ve rolled my eyes and said ‘yeah, yeah’ whenever my parents brought up how horrible it is how people act to strangers online, but now that I’ve seen it first hand and, when I was less wiser with my social media usage, experienced their behaviour first hand as well, the old folks were right. Social media has brought great misfortune along with its many benefits.

[johnnamason]

Watching Noah’s reaction to hearing her past only served to amplify her pain, as if experiencing it herself for the first time. It was surreal, watching yourself through the eyes of someone you loved, for it was natural to want to shield all pain from them, and even more natural for Johanna to shield any emotion that wasn’t anger from herself. But now, she was baring her soul, confronting one of the shadows she’d buried deep within herself, the one labelled Sam. Despite how much it hurt to share it, to see Noah learn it, to relive it all again, a part of her knew she felt stronger this time because of it. Because now they were facing her reality together. She’d come close with Allison, but her former mentee hadn’t heard the full story. No-one but her abusers had been around to witness the trauma she was describing. Sometimes, it almost felt like a dream, a reality saved only for Johanna herself to experience. They don’t deserve you. Her heart ached, tears slipping again upon the realisation that somebody else was actually seeing her. Noah’s words, his visceral anger and disgust, were validating those experiences, reminding the voice in the back of her mind that, yes, all of that did happen, and no, she hadn’t deserved being left there and forgotten about.

At his vow, fear suddenly surged through her again, the image of the pain she’d been through touching Noah firsthand, him getting hurt because of her, horrible to envisage. Despite her tears, her voice quickly hardened, standing her ground whether he’d actually meant the words or not. “Don’t,” she started, hands enclosing over his bunched fists, making sure he was watching her. “Noah, no. I don’t want you anywhere fucking near him. He’s not gonna touch you.” Physically or otherwise. Noah was her one innocent thing, a bond untarnished by betrayal and torture and loss. He made her smile, he made her feel worth something, and she refused to let Sam, or Katherine, or the Rebels’ manipulative influences reach him.

What matters is you and me. Johanna found herself taken aback by his words — not because of his sentiment, but because of his perspective. Truthfully, she hadn’t ever considered a future where she didn’t think about Sam. He was on her mind constantly; his betrayal, his whereabouts, his death, his last words. Sickeningly, it was as if her whole world revolved around him. But it wasn’t something she was aware of, fear and anger driving her every decision.

This place had never meant much to her, only Noah had, so whilst a part of her found his words refreshing, empowering, wanting him to be right, she couldn’t help the thousands of doubts that immediately questioned him. “I- I know it doesn’t matter what he’s doing. I don’t care about him, not in that way. But I can’t just… be around him again. I can’t live near him and act like everything’s fucking fine, like I’m fine. I can’t see him being fine, being fucking - happy. I can’t —” She cut off, curling back into herself, pulling away from him, eyes meeting the ground. In the many years she’d been alone, imagining every scenario to the point of obsession, the one image that had destroyed her completely was Sam’s nonchalance. She was terrified to see him content now, enjoying the newfound freedoms without a second thought for what he’d done to her — whatever shred of resilience she’d held onto throughout years of torture might actually be stripped from her. It took her another quiet few moments to find the right words, voice low this time. “I know you’re right. I know he shouldn’t have the power to… to drive me out,” she sniffled. “But how could I ever be happy when he’s here?” It wasn’t something she realised yet, but as long as Sam’s betrayal haunted her mind, it didn’t matter where he was. She’d never be truly happy when she held onto it like she had been. Noah’s stubbornness squeezed at her heart, appreciating his intent; but her cynical nature made her scoff at the idealism of it, swiping at her cheeks. “You know it wouldn’t work. They’d never make him leave. They all fucking love him.”

Noah’s gaze was intense, and Johanna found herself looking away, torn, until he found her hands. Love wasn’t a word she’d expected to hear from anyone ever again. She hadn’t wanted to. That way, no-one could ever hurt her again. But after her entire family had been murdered, Finnick, Sam and Katherine had become her only exceptions. She’d dared to love again, to trust them with her life, and they’d all betrayed that. There was no coming back from it. It had become the last chance she’d ever given love. Need, however, was another thing entirely. It was something she understood a lot better, being a single Victor with a dead family. Need was instinctual, primal, necessary for survival. Something you didn’t have to question. Survival she could trust. If she wasn’t so angry, she’d have recognised the dependency she had on Noah was a form of love. But that word and what it supposedly stood for felt empty for her now. This way, she didn’t have to worry about her heart, because it was already long-since broken. It made it a lot easier for her to trust his word, trust his feelings.

I’d die first. “No,” she murmured faintly at his insistence, shaking her head once, heart squeezing in her chest at the mere thought of him dying; worse still, of him breaking his word. But no-one had promised her this before. His sentiment, his expression, cut through her resolve, her desire to run. He’d protect her at all costs. Johanna understood that now. She’d thought Sam would do that for her. She’d thought she’d needed him, but she hadn’t. She’d survived without him. And he hadn’t needed her, for he had Dean. Only Noah had needed her in return, even though she was broken.

“I need you, too,” she whispered finally. And before she could think about what to say next, work out what they would do and how they could fix it, Johanna leant into that need instead. After all, she hadn’t ever been good with words, and how else could she tell him she’d never abandon him either? Without any real warning, and without taking her eyes off his, she let go of his hands and found his jaw, his hair, pulling him closer until their lips met.

Noah shook his head in disagreement, knowing that abandoning Alexandria without so much as a second thought wasn’t a reasonable option. He’d never let anything happen to Johanna, but he couldn’t guarantee anything when it came to himself. Noah also knew that he couldn’t be without her. If he couldn’t convince her, he’d have to follow her out into the wilderness, regardless of the consequences it resulted in. He wasn’t looking forward to that potential outcome. He let a heavy breath out of his cheeks, wishing he knew exactly what to say to calm her, to solve her problems. This hadn’t even been a worry until today, which left Noah feeling helpless. “Jo… this is our home, our fucking home. Yours and mine.” He’d never had a permanent residence, a safe place to land. Until now. Neither of them should have to sacrifice that, especially not for the sake of someone else. They’d started their life here. 

Noah waited patiently whilst Johanna had an internal battle with herself, debating whether or not to vocally air her suffering. He understood it all too well. But logically, Noah knew he couldn’t leave without a reason, and clearly she knew it too. It could be solvable. It didn’t have to be a situation which forced them out of their safe space, if he could resolve it. He wasn’t good for much, but he could be good for her. He’d stop at nothing to try, to make her feel safe again, whatever it took. Eventually she began to open up, and he continued with his silence, hanging onto every word. Listening, with concerned eyes studying her every emotion. Usually, her heartbeat calmed him. Today it was the main cause of his anxiety.

As soon as Johanna mentioned the name, Sam, Noah felt a familiar pang of anger. So it had been someone who caused her to feel so distressed. He remembered the older mentor, from a few years ago. They hadn’t interacted much, but then Noah hadn’t really spent much time with the Victors anyway, always being pulled off by the Capitol folk who favoured him. He’d always found the Winchesters put themselves on a pedestal above the rest, although he could have been wrong about his assumptions. Clearly his intuition had been right to begin with, however, if one of them had caused Johanna to feel this way. He felt a very guilty sense of jealousy about that relationship, and wondered how Sam could’ve thrown away someone so precious. Still, having a loved one die in your arms must have been a unbearable level of pain, and he sympathised wholly. If Noah lost Jo, he’d never be able to recover. “I’m sorry you went through that, you’re the last person who deserves it.”

As she continued, the puzzle began to fit together, revealing the whole story, parts which Noah hadn’t known about until now. He’d known the rebels had hurt her beyond repair in some cases, but in all the scenarios he’d imagined, it wasn’t this bad. “They fucking left -” He shook his head in disgust, hand wiping over his chin. He’d been abandoned too, but at least nobody had pretended to love him before hand. He felt physically sick, seeing the anguish in her face, the betrayal. How could a human do that to someone who trusted them? He could only draw the conclusion that Sam wasn’t, or he operated without any sense of compassion. “They don’t deserve you. They never did. He’s fucking sick in the head, I swear to God I’ll kill him.” Noah’s hands clenched into fists, trying not to focus on the overpowering vampire instincts that threatened to overtake him. Realistically, murder wouldn’t solve anything, but it certainly seemed like a viable option to Noah right now. 

As much as he wanted to speed out of the door and seek Sam out, what was happening right in front of him was more important. He needed to be there for the woman he cared for, above all else. She’d made him feel alive again, and he couldn’t risk that. Especially not because of some backstabbing asshole. Alexandria didn’t have to be about the rebels, it could just be about the two of them, in their own little sanctuary. “What he’s been doing - where he’s been, it doesn’t fucking matter. What matters is you and me. You don’t deserve to be driven out of your place, especially not by the likes of that prick. Please don’t make us go. I know we can be happy here. I’m not gonna’ let anyone threaten that. I promise. I swear, I’d do anything for you. I’ll get him to leave, get them all to leave -” He could feel himself mentally digging his claws in, not wanting to let go. Up until now, he’d felt so safe here. Noah closed the space between them again, eyes intently glancing over her face. His hands found hers, as if it would ground them both. “You may have loved them, but they didn’t love you. Not enough, and not the way you deserve. Not the way that I do. I’ll never abandon you, ever. I’d die first.” He meant every word. His stomach hurt when he looked at her, in a good way, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever loved anyone this intensely before. “I need you, and I fucking love you. This is our home. Tell me how to fix it, I’ll fucking do it.”

[whatisthisnonsense]

Digimon Are Canonically Psychic Vampires Alexa Send Tweet-- A Thread Because Reddit Still Hasn't Let This Through And You're All Going To Hell With Me Goddammit

I actually have something similar to this post already on my tumblr but it's highly associated with a AU storyline I have and I have this opinion regardless of said story so here we go, buckle up we're heading to the digital world, where all your cosmic horror fantasies come coated in the power of friendship! No read mores because in the event I am removed from Tumblr in any capacity I want this post to live past me. I will have my vindication, and my legacy will be sheer annoyance at my overly-verbose nature

I should specify this only specifically applies to PARTNERED digimon (though I am sure I can whip up an ample theory about how this is in fact every digimon and the soul bond is just dormant in most if given enough time, but I haven't made that one coherent yet). And yes, I do know Savers did outright say the partnered digimon are fueled by their humans' emotions, however each series portrays itself as separate to the whole. I'm here to state that this is one of the Constants of the multiverse (like having humans and digimon partner in the first place or how it's almost always someone under drinking age who gets a digimon) rather than a fluke. This particular post will mostly be about Adventure/02 as I am a horrible 90s child, however I will be more than happy to make follow ups about Tamers and Frontier (and possibly Xros, though I'm going to admit I checked out around Savers regarding the cartoon).

AHEM.

We know according to Deep Lore (that you have to go digging up in various and sundry books and interviews to find) that digivolution is normally a natural occurrence, and more-over takes FOREVER as the digimon in question has to collect enough data and energy to naturally evolve, meaning anything over Rookie in their natural state is generally very old (at least in digital years, depending on if the worlds are in sync or not). However, having a (active) human partner seems to accelerate this temporarily. In the World games (which are closely associated with the Adventure timeline as very local alternate timelines) the digimon have much quicker life cycles, with the trade off of therefore growing old and dying which even if this was POSSIBLE for digimon normally likely would take an insane timespan to do so. In the anime, however, these bursts are temporary jumps up their digivolution lines, brief bursts of temporary data and energy extensions to "age up" as it were before returning to normal. In both cases, the difference is very clear-- these digimon have a human while the rest do not.

Why is this an important distinction?

Well, the original Adventure made a big deal about it being because of the Crests. However, as we learn at the end of the series, the Crests are more of a magic feather than a real token of power, with the actual power coming from the children having an abundance of that particular emotion or mental state (albeit poorly worded; Knowledge for example seems to actually mean Wisdom given it's when Izzy uses his knowledge wisely when it ticks over rather than just him being technically smart but actively a git) that makes them more powerful than average. Moreover we learn from later points in the series and the movies that the main cue for becoming a digidestined is the simple act of seeing a digimon, and Willis becomes our first example of how a human chosen does not in fact need to be a Crest Bearer to have a digimon who can digivolve.

Cut to 02. I have a few comments about 02 and how it treated the Crests and how that only makes sense with some awful fridge horror, but this post has nothing to do with that so I won't make them. Instead we take a look at all the myriad digimon with partners but no crests who we find on the World Tour who can definitely digivolve. So what does that tell us? It has nothing to do with the Crests.

Where, then, are the digimon pulling the power? Well, whenever a digimon partner digivolves the first time, usually the human is having a visceral emotional reaction. Even Dark Digivolution require the human to be trying to force a specific mental state upon themselves or their digimon. If the digimon digivolves in response to the human having an emotional reaction, and the digimon needs to gain energy and data to digivolve, then it follows that the digimon must be feeding upon it's partner's emotions to gain this power.

"Why are you making a kid show creepy" first of all have you seen any of the finales of this show. Second of all, actually, this makes for a very good case as to why partners are normally young children who haven't learned to restrain their emotions and why the power of friendship, particularly a collective group's, tends to win out. If the available human currently is full of emotion All The Time and cannot muffle it, then that makes it easier for the digimon to digivolve more often, which is useful when the world is ending. Moreover if the collected group of humans have strong bonds and feel strong emotions about eachother, then that provides a constant supply of emotions that are only strengthened with eachother, and indeed implies the bond with the partner itself can satisfy at least lower digivolutions from pure platonic affection. The tropes inherent in a child show in fact make it easier to satisfy the needs required for the mechanics to work, and of course even if this was a parasitic relationship rather than symbiotic (as it's more likely to be as the kids of course get a sick digital monster bonded to their soul and possibly harder to kill out of it) then they still can't really kill their hosts without screwing themselves over.

tl;dr, partnered digimon feed off their humans emotions and mental state to digivolve, but like in a nice way, thanks for coming to my ted talk

[momsopposed2theoccult]

It’s come to my attention that a good majority of people on this website have a really poor understanding of the conflict between Toph and Katara in “The Chase.” As somebody who loves both characters and their friendship, this irritates me. Without further ado, let’s unpack that in what is in theory supposed to be a meta but turned out more like a rant. 

“Katara was hostile towards Toph because the fact that she’s a gender non-conforming girl made Katara uncomfortable because Katara is obsessed with gender roles.”

Alright, so right off the bat this is just... completely idiotic and clearly fuelled by an agenda (and likely also a lot of projection). First of all, how is Katara of “I don’t want to heal, I want to fight!” fame “obsessed with gender roles?” There’s an entire episode in Book One dedicated to Katara refusing to conform to societal norms for women in the Northern Water Tribe! Katara routinely calls Sokka out on his misogynistic bullshit! (Mind you I adore Sokka but he could be a little twerp at times and Katara was 100% right to challenge him on it) Katara is the feminist icon of ATLA! The fact that people act like Katara is some sort of conservative tradwife who loves gender roles instead of the outspoken feminist and political activist she is makes me incredibly angry.

Second of all, Katara was extremely kind and welcoming towards Toph at first. She gently encouraged her to join in with the group as they all set up camp together as opposed to setting up her own private camp. It’s only when Toph refuses to comply with her that Katara begins to get irritated. Mind you, Toph has her reasons for this, something I’ll get to in a minute, but from Katara’s perspective (key word here is perspective) she’s just being an annoying little stubborn, selfish, lazy, anti-social, entitled brat. Of course we the audience find out later that this isn’t the case at all (or at least in theory we should find out later but apparently some people on here skipped that part), but for all her many talents Katara is not a mind reader and has no way of knowing what’s going on inside Toph’s head, nor does she know her well enough yet to fully grasp the context behind why Toph acts the way she does. Katara is somebody who greatly values community and believes in teamwork, so Toph turning down her warm welcome in favour of “carrying her own weight” likely felt like a slap in the face. Not to mention that she’s already emotionally exhausted from having to constantly mother Aang and Sokka. If I were Katara, I likely would have reacted the same way. 

Oh and I agree that the “the stars look beautiful tonight, too bad you can’t see them, Toph” comment was out of line, but it doesn’t make her a horrible person. It makes her a 14 year old, and 14 year olds can be nasty, especially sleep deprived 14 year olds. Katara is otherwise a very kind and compassionate person. Other characters have said worse than that. Hell, Toph herself has said worse than that. That being said, it was a deeply hurtful comment and I do like to imagine that she apologized for it off-screen. 

“Toph is a lazy, entitled, and classist spoiled rich brat who just didn’t want to do chores and expected other people to wait on her.” 

This is another one that makes me roll my eyes and ask if they even watched the show. First of all, the presumption that Toph is a lazy or entitled person is just... laughable. I feel like people forget that Toph isn’t actually an earthbending prodigy in the way that Azula is a firebending prodigy (I could say more about Azula and how her belief that she was the unshakeable prodigal daughter ultimately caused her downfall and how by the end of the series Zuko is arguably a better firebender than her but this isn’t a meta about Azula and Zuko, now is it?). Nah. Toph was a sheltered kid who discovered she had the ability to earthbend, was told that she could never become great at it because she was blind, and in response said FUCK THAT and decided to work her ass off until she was not only great but the very greatest all thanks to her crazy, stupid, off-the-charts nerve, drive, grit, ambition, and desire to prove people wrong about her. Does that sound like a lazy person to you? Believe me when I say that you do not achieve that kind of skill level by sitting around on your ass and expecting to have things handed to you. And entitled? Don’t make me laugh. Toph hates having things handed to her, that’s one of her defining characteristics. 

As for the implication that she’s classist and enjoys basking in her family’s wealth and being waited on...... are you stupid? Did you even watch the show? Toph absolutely despises everything about her parents’ lifestyle. Growing up like that was traumatizing and restrictive for her. We’re talking about a girl who likes to play around in the mud for fuck’s sake. Toph does not care how much money you have. She never wanted any to begin with. She even says it herself; “I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. They gave me everything I could have wanted. But they never gave me what I actually needed - their love.” Not to mention that she easily could have continued to freeload off her parents wealth but instead chose to sneak out of the house and make her own money doing what she did best; disproving people’s assumptions about her earthbending. Oh and I’ve seen someone point this out before but WWE is generally considered a “low brow” activity that “proper” people frown upon and shouldn’t associate themselves with. Toph fucking loved it. I don’t know how seriously people take the comics, as they often miss the mark when it comes to characterization (Toph’s, however, was generally pretty accurate), but there’s a part in The Rift where Sokka asks her when she’s going to start charging people to learn metalbending and she gets all serious and flat out tells him that she will never do such a thing, because money doesn’t matter to her. Sharing her one true passion with the world is what matters to her. Oh and the part where she basically tells a bunch of rich and sleazy businessmen to fuck off and “stop thinking about money and start thinking about people’s lives” is just... *chef’s kiss* Sorry my thoughts here are so incoherent but this take is so piss poor and makes me so angry that I don’t even know where to start. As for “Toph enjoys being waited on” I just- *sigh* Toph has such a visceral and defensive reaction to any implication that she is unable to take care of herself. Like I said earlier, that’s one of her defining characteristics as well as the reason for her behaviour in “The Chase.” Where are people getting these takes?

You wanna know why Toph acted the way she did in The Chase? Well, first let’s recap her life up to this point. Toph was born the blind daughter of one of the wealthiest families in the Earth Kingdom. From day one her parents treated her like glass due to her disability. She was not allowed to leave her house unsupervised, and even then she was only permitted to walk around the gardens of her home. Every day of her life she was pitied, gaslit, babied, ignored, emotionally neglected, and made to feel ashamed of herself. She was not allowed to make any decisions for herself. She was not allowed to do anything for herself. She was not allowed to talk to other children. She had no friends. Other people didn’t even know she existed on account that her parents kept her locked up in her own home and didn’t tell anybody about her because they were so ashamed to have a blind daughter. Flash forward to “The Chase.” Toph begins to set up her own camp separate from the rest of the Gaang. Considering that she flat out was not socialized as a child and hadn’t even interacted with anybody her own age prior to a few days ago, this is understandable. So then Katara comes up to her and asks her why she isn’t setting up camp with the others as if she’s somehow incapable of taking care of herself (again, this is just what happened from her perspective) like she’s her mom or something and it just angers her because she thought she joined this group to get away from all that and she doesn’t understand how friends work because she’s never had one, all she knows is that apparently this girl thinks she isn’t capable of taking care of herself, and that infuriates her because it’s the exact same bullshit she thought she was running away from.

There’s a lot more I could say about this but I’m sick of typing so yeah in conclusion both of these takes are piss poor and I’m sick of having to read them. Stan Toph, Katara, and their friendship. 

[sashannarcy]

hi op what are your thoughts on uhhhh *spins wheel* sasha's season 2b arc (hope that's not too broad a subject)

edit: putting this under a cut bc it got LONG but. enjoy (???)

okay I gotta start by saying I didn't expect the depth of it at ALL; I knew Sash was featured prominently in the ending episodes of s2 based off of what my friend informed me, but like. I was not expecting 4.5 episodes to be almost ENTIRELY centered on their character arc and design (the .5 being the first half of True Colors).

that being said, I think Sash's 2b arc is PHENOMENAL bc of the way the nuance in it is written so incredibly well. this character is about to perform the most antagonistic move that they've pulled in the whole series so far, which is the act of betraying both Anne and Marcy in order to support Grime and get them home safe, if they so choose to go home (as an aside, I think at this point Sash has probably decided that she likes it more in Amphibia than back home, and there's one line that I'll get to that seems to be VERYYYY indicative of that. and if this is the case, it makes sense to me why Sasha would want to help Grime at all and why they don't really seem quite eager to follow Anne and Marcy back home. but! important to note that they still give those two the choice to go back if they wish, because at the end of the day Sash loves them and wouldn't try to force them to stay). and yet we see!! this back and forth!! this FIGHT that's happening in their mind, the way there's a flash of guilt they express at the very end of The Third Temple directly after confirming to Grime that things are still going according to plan, their convo w Anne at the end of The Dinner, the entire plot arc of BotB, and ofc the Sashanne duel in True Colors. I want to make an analysis post for each of these episodes because they're so fucking PACKED w shit to analyze, but I'll try my best to touch on all points here.

obviously we first learn of Sasha's plans to betray Anne and Marcy in The Third Temple. but what's important is that throughout the entire episode, there's several points where Sash switches back and forth between manipulation and honesty. I can talk abt this w confidence just based off of the whole. *gestures vaguely at myself.* but Sasha's initial apology in this episode was sheer manipulation, I think we all know that. however, when Sasha has to do their final test in the temple, those few lines they exchange w Anne in the moments before they raise themself up off the floor and launch themself into battle... those were genuine. they know they've been a shitty friend, and they're willing to accept that. so you have this game, almost, where Sash keeps flipping between putting on a mask to ensure they can keep up their facade until Grime secures the city and genuinely acknowledging their behavior and knowing that what they are doing is not going to sit well w Anne and Marcy.

so with that, The Third Temple sets the premise for the rest of the episodes of the season as far as Sasha's character arc. The Dinner is such a good fucking episode to follow with, because it hammers in the fact that Sasha has not changed. what it ALSO hammers in is she is still acting in her own self-interest - to put it in her words, she wants to get the friendship back under control. they still lash out, they still have a short fuse, they're still heavily opinionated and rough around the edges and prickly because this is an environment where they feel threatened. they're finally reuniting with the two people that mean the absolute most to them, only to realize they've been left out of the narrative. also not for nothing, but their trauma in Reunion got joked about in this episode which led to them blowing up over it, and like. I'm giving that one a pass bc man. anyway. at the end of the episode they say they like who they are, but it's said with a frown, which I think is fucking GENIUS. because there's an actual meaning to this line - they don't ACTUALLY like who they are. we have plenty of evidence that they don't like themself. what they MEAN is that they don't want to change, because that would mean giving up a security that they need in order to keep themself together. AND THIS IS DEMONSTRATED CRYSTAL CLEAR IN BOTB. they literally PURPOSEFULLY detach themself from Anne and Marcy bc they know they want control but they ALSO know that their behavior is just going to hurt the other two, so instead of compromising, they just go hey I'm gonna do my thing and you guys can do yours. and we'll both get what we want. and if that's not evidence that this character is fucking GRAPPLING with how to grow and change as a person, idk what is

and then. sigh. we get to True Colors. ofc Sash goes through on their betrayal - they're loyal to a fucking T once you dig beneath the surface, and they wouldn't just not follow through for Grime. what is absolutely KEY here is the fact that they are still leaving room for their friends' best interests, as in they're not trapping them in Amphibia but rather explaining how they're gonna help Grime take over, implying they'll go back home once they're done, but if Anne and Marcy wanna go back now, that's cool. if she didn't give a fuck abt their wellbeing, she'd just keep them there w her. but she doesn't. and then Anne starts retaliating, and. well. we ALL know Sasha does NOT do well with criticism of any kind. so they just go okay I'll send you back now then (and this is STILL an action motivated by what they think is best for Anne). BUT THE LINE. OHHHH THE SUPER IMPORTANT LINE THAT MADE MY HEAD SNAP UP AND MADE ME PHYSICALLY GO "YIKES" OUT LOUD. is Sasha saying "say hi to your parents for me." it's like a goddamn full-on sucker punch packed into one sentence - seven words, and all of a sudden we know for sure this kid does not have a good home life. I could go into elaboration on Sasha and the way she views familial ties throughout the show, but I won't bc that's gonna take this already super long answer and make it even worse. regardless, Sasha has once again flipped the switch and is indulging in their worst behaviors, which is full on controlling and holding power to act on what THEY think is best in the moment. and the moment Anne snaps, the moment Anne yells about Sasha being a horrible person, literally EVERYTHING shifts and the reaction from Sasha is VISCERAL. and what I mean by that is. it's not just the look in their eyes at those words. it's not just the sudden and complete loss of meaning, of self, of motivation after they've lost Anne's support. it's not just the way they stare at their own reflection in a sword that represents the color of the person they're trying their hardest to protect. it's the way that for the rest of the goddamn episode, they spend it trying to do the one thing they fear the most: giving up control. I'm gonna elaborate on this whole aspect in a different ask bc I was asked abt it, but the way Sasha acts towards Anne after the fallout, especially at the beginning of the duel and during the confrontation w Andrias, is fucking monumental. they struggle so much with how to change their own behavior, yet the very moment they lose the support of the people they've been trying so hard to love and care for in their roundabout way, they can change the way they act. because who the fuck is Sasha Waybright without Anne Boonchuy and Marcy Wu? in her mind, no one. she doesn't have any idea of who she is outside of this, so ofc she can act differently when she's thrown out in the cold. after all, it doesn't take much to warp an identity that doesn't exist.

tldr; god. how do I sum this up. Sash's 2b arc is smth that's incredibly intricate and complex from the way they constantly flip between desperately needing control and feeling guilty that this is the way they need to live. and True Colors is able to finally demonstrate to us the final piece in how they operate - without their friends, they lose sense of who they are, and their personality comes undone. in 4.5 episodes the writers managed to give us 1000 aspects to their character that we hadn't gotten to explore, and we can see that Sasha was never meant to be the villain. so. final review is that's some good shit👍

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 21

Note: I will be critical of Jiang Cheng in these posts. If you can’t handle that, please feel free to scroll on.

I really like this hug. I mean, if you've been reading these from the beginning, you know how much I love wangxian, but I'm really glad that Wei Ying's first actual hug after returning from the Burial Mounds is with Jiang Yanli. I'm not counting the hug with Jiang Cheng, because Wei Ying didn't hug him back. That hug was thrust upon him and he did not reciprocate. This reunion is very sweet, and tear-filled, and if I hadn't been up since 3 am, I might be feeling enough to shed a tear, myself. That being said, it's hilarious how they keep showing Jiang Cheng in the middle, looking awkward as he tries to balance joy and sadness. I get what the director had in mind, but it just looks weird lol.

But this part is also super sad, because Wei Ying again makes a promise he can't keep: that the three of them will be together forever. Now, I realize that if you hadn't read the novel or weren't familiar with the story, you should already know from the first two episodes that things do not turn out well for the three of them. However, if you're like me and have the memory of a goldfish, you probably didn't realize who everyone was in the first two episodes and even if you did, you've already forgotten long ago that Jiang Cheng was pissy and angry around Wei Wuxian and that Wei Wuxian's inner monologue reveals to us that JIang Yanli is dead. All that being said, his line about staying together forever hits a lot differently when you're very aware of how the story turns out, because Jiang Yanli dies, Jiang Cheng grows to hate Wei Wuxian more and more every day, and Wei Wuxian, of course, defects to save the Wens from slaughter. I think "let's stay together forever" is something you say and mean, but something that you know can't ever truly be. I think Jiang Yanli is old and wise enough to know that she will eventually marry and leave Lotus Pier, even though she will resist it for a while. The rest is uncertain, but I think at this point, Wei Wuxian really does believe and want to stay with the Yunmeng siblings and to stay at Jiang Cheng's side as he leads the Yunmeng Jiang Sect.

I will never not be heartbroken by this scene--even knowing how everything turns out--by how Lan Wangji looks at Wei Wuxian, how if things had been different in Yiling, he would have gone into that room and greeted him, how Wei Wuxian would have smiled at him and beckoned him inside, how they would have sat and Wei Wuxian would have talked Lan Wangji's ear off, like old friends. It's just so upsetting to me, and I can't ever shake that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I know what happens, but these two episodes, until they reconcile, really get to me. It's a horrible feeling when you want to help someone, but they don't see it as helping, and they only get upset with you. I deal with that on an almost daily basis, and I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. I really identify with Lan Wangji here, and I think that's why I get such a visceral reaction to seeing him like this.

I don't know if I've said this, but Lan Wangji is my favorite character in CQL and in every adaptation of this story. He is kind of my perfect character--he checks off all the boxes: one-sided love, pining, standing by the main character no matter what, practically abandoning his own family for the person he loves. I love that he has an almost child-like innocence, but he's still very wise; he's smart; he's strong; he has a strict moral code and he sticks to it without fail, even if it means going against his friends and family; he's a loner, but he loves deeply. When I first started watching the donghua and reading the novel, I liked Wei Wuxian the best, and he's still my second favorite character, but Lan Wangji has stolen my heart.

Of course, Wei Wuxian goes to this awkward dinner party, after spending three months around ghosts (and then killing a shit-ton of Wen soldiers), and all he can think about is that empty seat behind him, the one where Lan Wangji should be sitting. It's interesting how the Yunmeng siblings each react: Jiang Yanli starts to become concerned and commits it to memory. She's probably wondering why Lan Wangji isn't there, and then seeing how Wei Wuxian wistfully stares at the empty seat, she finds it even more unsettling. Jiang Cheng just seems embarrassed by Wei Wuxian here and his motivation is to get Wei Wuxian back on track so he doesn't make fools of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect in front of the other leaders. He obviously knows what happened between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, and I don't think he's bothered by it at all. He doesn't seem to care whether they're friends or not, and I'd say that even at this point, he'd prefer if Lan Wangji stayed out of Wei Wuxian's life altogether. He knows how close they were, and I think he also knows that Wei Wuxian would choose Lan Wangji over him if given that ultimatum. With Lan Wangji out of the picture, Jiang Cheng gets to maintain more control over Wei Wuxian than he otherwise would. Even later on at Lotus Pier, he wants Wei Wuxian around, helping him, being his right-hand man. He doesn't want him wandering around the city or galavanting off with other cultivators. Granted Wei Wuxian was drinking at the time, but I don't think that invalidates my point that Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian to stay in line and stay at his side where he can control him. You know, because he sees the relationship (as Wei Wuxian suggested) as the same as their two fathers: where Wei Wuxian is in a subservient role to Jiang Cheng. Mind you, that's different from seeing him as a brother, and I think, while there's some of that mixed into his other feelings, it's a very small portion.

No screenshot, but the following scene, after Wei Wuxian leaves the dinner party, Jiang Cheng follows him out. And even here, he asks what's wrong--asks if he's upset because of Lan Wangji--but then scoffs at how that could really be what's bothering him. He says something like, "Why did you come here just to be disliked by him?" I think while he gets that they have a close bond, he doesn't really understand the depth of the relationship. He's jealous of Lan Wangji, but doesn't fully understand why. Ultimately, I think Jiang Cheng, because of his parents and the way he was raised, really doesn't understand what it's like to have a good relationship with anyone. And this ignorance isn't his fault--he's a product of his parents and surroundings, and no one, including himself, has ever tried to fix this. So, without being able to really understand how relationships work, he scoffs at how Wei Wuxian could still be upset over what happened with Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng essentially gave Wei Wuxian what he wanted in that moment, which was unconditional support to carry out his revenge, and yet Wei Wuxian is hung up on Lan Wangji not being supportive there, and in fact being in opposition to him. Jiang Cheng doesn't even really have friends, so he thinks Wei Wuxian should just get over Lan Wangji and move on with his life, but it's not that simple. Lan Wangji isn't just an acquaintance, he's not just someone that Wei Wuxian partnered up with to fight a battle or carry out a mission--he's a soulmate, a kindred spirit (if you want to go down a less romantic route).

I rarely can say anything bad about Jiang Yanli (except how she's almost always making soup), and here's another example: Chenqing. She's so far the only one who supports Wei Wuxian having a first class spiritual tool. She immediately shows interest in the flute, even encourages him to give it a name. Lan Wangji immediately sees the flute as something bad, while she's completely supportive. And this is really what Wei Wuxian needs right now, and I love her for being there. She's also about the only person he will genuinely smile around. He gives everyone else forced or fake smiles, but not Yanli. At this moment, I think he only wants to be with her, and I can't really blame him when everyone else is either opposing him or just wanting something out of him. She really is coming from a place of sympathy and comfort that's different from how the others are handling things. Lan Wangji wants to help, yes, but he tries to force it.

Imagine being in this room, listening to Jin Zixun (I'm not even sure if that's his name lol) trash talk Wei Wuxian, wanting to say something in his defense, but being unable to, not just because it's not your place to do so, but also because you're not even sure if you can defend him anymore. I think Jiang Cheng is struggling with the same. He stands up to Jin Zixun, finally getting him to shut up by saying that it's a domestic affair for the Jiang Clan and none of his fucking business, but Jiang Cheng also struggles to find excuses for Wei Wuxian. And that would certainly be difficult, because Wei Wuxian is somewhat like a stranger now. He's similar, but he's not the same Wei Wuxian that Jiang Cheng grew up with. He's really a shadow of his former self. But Lan Wangji has the added bonus of not being able to speak on his behalf because he's not even in the same clan--who is he to defend Wei Wuxian? He can't even stand with the others at the table (can't or won't, I'm not sure), so he certainly can't speak to Wei Wuxian's honor in front of all the other leaders. I'm sure the conversation back in Yiling is still running through his mind: this is a Jiang Clan affair--and to have that repeated again to someone else. That very much puts Lan Wangji in the "other" position. He's not in Wei Wuxian's clan, therefore, it's none of his business. He should care about him. He shouldn't try to protect him. He shouldn't try to guide him. But the problem is he still cares deeply about Wei Wuxian, and he wants to help him and protect him and guide him.

These scenes are always hard to watch for me (thank god for the special edition cut). It's really hard to watch the clans doing to the Wens what the Wens have done to the other clans. As if war wasn't already terrible enough, you also have what happens to the prisoners of war. In this case, Wen Qing's sect are all healers and have little to do with the war that the rest of the Wen Clan was waging on the other cultivation clans. However, they are still treated as enemies and imprisoned. It's difficult to watch the other clans, who you want to root for, making the same mistakes and transgressions as the Wens, who we are supposed to look at as the proper enemies in the story.

As we've seen a few times in this episode already, Wei Wuxian is having trouble controlling all the negative energy that's surging through him and the Yin iron, and on some of those occasions, he's touched his old wound. As he does this here, everyone looks at him, but he just looks at Lan Wangji. This is the person he cares most about in this room, the person whose heart his closest to his. I have nothing profound to say--I just like it.

And of course Lan Wangji looks right back at him. He knows Wei Wuxian best, even better than his own "brother", Jiang Cheng. He knows what happened in Xuanwu Cave, he saw the effect the sword had on him. I feel like each time they exchange glances, they are both crying out to each other, but Wei Wuxian is too stubborn to ask for help and Lan Wangji doesn't want to force the issue and strain their relationship further.

The way Lan Wangji hesitates here before saying, "I don't know," kills me. To him, it's just further proof of how Wei Wuxian is getting farther and farther from him, how the chasm between them just keeps growing. He's upset here. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to force Wei Wuxian to do anything--that's against his clan rules, but more importantly, against his own ethics--yet he doesn't want to stand by and do nothing while his friend destroys himself. I think we see Lan Wangji as a character who always knows what to do, someone who always knows the right path, but here we see how that's not true at all. This is a man who is very smart, very clever, but who is also unsure of himself. He's struggling with what's right and wrong. And he consults his brother here, hoping to get a clear answer, so that he'll know what to do next, but he gets nothing of the sort.

It would have been easier for Lan Wangji if his brother has simply said, "Wei Wuxian is wrong and an enemy," but of course he's more wise than that. Nothing is black and whit, and humans cannot be judged for what's on the surface. You have to look deep inside a person, know their intentions, and then you can judge if they are doing what's right or wrong. The problem is Lan Wangji doesn't know Wei Wuxian's intentions. Months ago, he know Wei Wuxian wanted to defend the weak, protect people who couldn't protect themselves, and live by such a just moral code. But now Wei Wuxian seems like a stranger, has murdered many, many people, and has taken cruel revenge upon Wen Chao and Wang Lingjao.

What I've noticed in this episode is that Wei Wuxian will look at Lan Wangji, but he always averts his eyes fairly quickly. It's as if he's afraid if they make eye contact for too long, he'll be letting Lan Wangji in, which he does not want to do under any circumstances. Letting Lan Wangji in means admitting what's going on as well as opening up Lan Wangji to danger. Wei Wuxian does not want anyone else getting hurt or dying because of him, so it's better to reject everyone and focus on his own clan.

Honey, I'd walk away too. It's hard to tell if Lan Wangji is about to cry or about to punch Wei Wuxian in the mouth--either one would have been excellent, but I'm leaning towards the latter. Lan Wangji had to answer Jiang Yanli. She met him by chance, but it was she who initiated the conversation. Of course, angst rules being what they are, we had to have a misunderstanding a la Wei Wuxian walking into the conversation midway and making the asinine assumption that Lan Wangji was just breaking his confidence by telling her EVERYTHING. Of course, anyone who knows Lan Wangji knows he'd never do such a thing. But when Wei Wuxian's shijie comes to him, voicing her concern and asking about him, he has no choice but to empathize with her and tell her what he knows.

I really like this little exchange. Reliving the fight on the rooftop, before they were acquainted, before they were friends--before Lan Wangji fell for him. This time when he attacks, it's not about malice, it's not about breaking the rules and bringing liquor into the Cloud Recesses--it's a man, looking at the one he loves, scared out of his mind, worried that that man is going to destroy his mind and body, using a taboo cultivation method. This fight is a love letter, as far as I'm concerned. It's an act of desperation.

Also I fucking love that around four or five people have asked Wei Wuxian where Suibian is, and each time he makes up a lie: he forgot it, he isn't in the mood, he didn't bother to bring it. But when Lan Wangji asks him, he doesn't respond. He doesn't lie, he doesn't laugh it off--whatever he does, Lan Wangji will know that he's lying, and Wei Wuxian knows that.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | Or just check out the #CQL Rewatch hashtag

[fbfh]

I mean, you did ask - leo x reader

all  characters are aged up to 18+ for smexy subtext

word count: 2k

pairing: leo x gn child of calliope reader

genre: adventure, romance, hints at a lowkey soulmate au

summary: after a bumpy reunion turned interrogation with your friends, you finally prove to Leo that you’re someone worth catching up with

warnings: swearing, friends hold you at knife point (for good reason) memory loss, dimesion/reality travel, the phrase “horrible sexy little goose” not about an actual animal, moderate time difference between worlds, reader is acting like a cocky piece of shit half the time, you call yourself sexy a lot, annabeth slaps reader and reader is unbothered, reader and leo hae very visceral reactions upon seeing each other, piper picks up on this, moderately aggressive face grabbing, discussing personal info with someone somewhat privately, brief mentions of hand holding and hair pulling during sex, you spill tea about the rest of the demisquad, I think that’s it pls tell me if I missed any

song rec: choke - i don’t know how but they found me

a/n: this is from a very vivid daydream I had so er ah if reader seems op coded that’s cause she is uwu

You were excited to reunite with your friends after so long, but being tied up and held hostage at knifepoint by the people you love who don’t even remember you wasn’t the welcome wagon you were hoping for. Then again, as a child of Calliope, you can’t say you’re surprised. 

Apollo has a lot of kids, but demigod children of the muses are exceptionally less common. They’re volatile, really powerful, extremely engrossed in their art, and usually care more about their latest thesis paper or painting or manuscript than going on quests, and more often than not have very specific powers. You, for example, love quests but feel like you never get to go on any, usually because you’re fighting monsters somewhere else. One fun little power you inherited from your mom is - somewhat involuntary - dimension shifting. 

A lot of times you just get summoned somewhere else, with a little inherent background knowledge and your weapon, set free into the new world like a horrible sexy little goose. There’s usually some kind of objective you need to meet; find this person, set something in motion, give someone support in a time of need, deliver a package. After that, you get sent back to your family at camp half blood. The catch, one of them at least, is that a few days Somewhere Else could be no more than a few minutes in your homeverse. 

Another catch is that because of all that, and the fact that you wouldn’t know how to begin explaining, let alone if anyone would believe you, no one knows you can do this yet. Chiron has an idea, but you’ve never told anyone outright. 

You guess now is as good of a time as any to come clean, as Percy holds his sword threateningly close to your neck. You let out a disbelieving laugh, and bite the inside of your cheek.

“Okay, okay… you want the truth?” he starts to back off, and you continue, leaning forward, “I’m not surprised you’d want to know where someone this sexy-” your words cut off as Annabeth’s hand slaps you across the face. You let out a laugh of disbelief, cheek stinging.

“A cheap shot, Annabeth? Wow, I really didn’t take you for the type,” she grabs your face, leaning in close, knife once again against your throat. 

"How do you know my name." She hisses, and behind her, the door opens. Messy dark curls peek over her head in your vision and you know instantly who it is. Your heart starts pounding, loud and hard, and something heavy starts swirling deep in your gut. Your eyes lock as soon as he enters the room and an instinctive smile blooms on your face, knowing what's inevitably on its way. 

"Hey Sparky…" 

Your voice, slow and drawling (and, he'd be lying if he didn't say kind of very sexy) impales him as soon as he enters the room. He watches your pupils expand, eyes locked, immediately swept away by your magnetic aura. A fox like grin decorates your pretty face, and he gets the feeling you know more than you let on. Way more. He's so drawn to you on a guttural level, way more than he's ever been to someone before. His face is hot, and when you slowly wink at him, he feels flames erupt on his cheeks. It takes him a second to put it out, feeling your white hot gaze on him the entire time. 

Piper, who's been helping with your interrogation, looks back and forth between you two as this progresses, taking in a breath and mumbling a shocked, "Oh," as she begins to understand. 

"How are those repairs coming?" Jason asks, oblivious to everything that's happening between you two. 

"Uh… nearly done…" Leo mutters, watching as you hold back an elated giggle at the sound of his voice. You never forget how good it feels to see him again, but the fresh feeling is always better than you can imagine. Jason glances between you two, and walks over to Leo, suspicious of your interest in him. 

"I'll walk you back," Jason says, glaring at you. Your eyes stay locked with Leo's until the door finally closes again. Piper stares at you, bewildered by the tension turned to frantic energy crackling around both you and Leo. She can sense it on him even after he's out of the room. 

Annabeth finally drops your face, pacing and pinching the bridge of her nose. Percy slams him hands down on the table and levels his face with yours. 

"I'm gonna ask you one last time. How do you know us?" 

You stare at the table for a second, still thinking about him. You have to see him again. You’ve waited for too long, you just can’t do it anymore. 

“H- okay. Um,” You blink a few times, facade falling away almost instantly as you look up in a silent prayer that this doesn’t go as badly as you feel like it will. You sigh, looking back up at the other people in the room, a new, deliberate intention in your eyes that they hadn’t seen before. 

“You want to know why I’m here?” 

Their answer is the silence that follows.

“You’re not gonna believe me.” They look around at each other, collectively thinking about everything they’ve been through in the last year alone.

“Try us.” Annabeth replies. You sigh again, and introduce yourself. “...I’m a child of Calliope, muse of epic poetry, and I know you all because we grew up together. One of the fun - quirks, I inherited from my mom is traveling into different stories, or realities, I guess. It’s hard to control, and sometimes happens involuntarily. I adapt to wherever I am, and the universe sort of auto adjusts to follow the rules that stories have to follow. 

The reason you don’t remember me is because I was gone for a really long time, and your story had to keep going. Trying to find me wouldn’t have moved the plot forward, questioning where I went would have been confusing, so it did the simplest thing and edited me out so you could get closer to meeting your objectives.”

Once again, their silence is your answer. 

“Guys, sidebar.” Annabeth says, pulling Percy, Jason, and Piper out of the room for a moment. The come back in a little while later, and she looks you dead in the eye.

“If you really know us as well as you say you do, prove it. Tell us you’d only know if we were as close as you say we were.” 

You sigh yet again, having lost count at how many times that’s happened today alone. You roll your shoulders and bob your head, irritable that you’re still restrained and itching to move. 

“Is there anything we can do before the whole tell me something really personal thing?” 

Percy looks at you, challenging.

“Can you do it or not?”

Another noise of exasperation leaves you, and you agree, resignation all over your face.

“You know what, yeah. Okay, we’re doing this. Someone go get Leo.” An involuntary smile once again launches onto your face at the mention of his name. Jason starts to object. 

“Hey, I’m not going to spill something personal about someone when they’re not in the room.” They agree reluctantly, and Jason leaves, returning again with Leo. You look at him again, enraptured by his presence. He can’t say he doesn’t like the attention - a hottie like you looking at him like that? Yes, please - but something about it feels different, and he gets the feeling there’s a lot more going on than they’re aware of. 

You nod your head once, indicating for him to come closer. He gets a little closer. You widen your eyes, nodding two more times, and he hesitantly gets within whispering distance. 

You turn your head to your left, dangerously close to his face. He can feel his pulse already speeding up. Heat radiates between your faces, your breath fanning over his neck as you whisper slowly,

“You really… really like holding hands, and when I pull your hair during sex.” 

He pulls away from you quickly, beet red, bewildered expression obvious to everyone in the room. “H-how-”

“How do you think?” You reply calmly, loving everything about him, “Okay, to be fair…” you nod once more, eyes flaring, and he leans in once again, equally hesitant and curious. Your words tickle his ear, seeming to light up his entire nervous system like a firecracker.

“I really really like when you bite that spot on my neck, just below my ear.” 

He pulls away again, trying not to literally and figuratively combust. He stares in your eyes intensely, searching for anything besides the truth. He finds absolutely nothing. He turns around, unable to look his friends in the eye. 

“They’re legit, guys.” 

“Wait, what did you say to him?” Piper asks, unsure if she wants to know the answer. 

“Yeah,” Annabeth agrees, “what if it’s some kind of mind control-” Your deep, burning desire to finally hold Leo after god knows how long is starting to beat your better judgement, and you really, really want to be untied from this stupid chair. “Annabeth! Your favorite show was Cyber Chase growing up, you used to come up with plans on how to defeat Hacker, your best was cutting off his food supply - good strategy, I’ve used it before, myself. 

Percy, you feel like you can’t sing because you were forced to participate in an elementary school recital and some kid called you tonedeaf behind your back, it kicked you right in the RSD balls. 

Piper, you’re a closet weeb, you watched Ouran High School Host club obsessively and still do sometimes, you fell for Jason because he had, quote, 'Tamaki's looks and Kyoya's brains, the ideal man'. 

Jason, that scar on your lip is from biting a stapler as a child-"

"Okay, everyone knows that-"

"-and," you continue, showing no signs of stopping, "the reason you ate the stapler is because you were pretending to be a trash compactor because you saw one on TV. 

Nico is totally not right outside the door keeping guard right now, but if he were and you asked him if he likes the diary of a wimpy kid movies he'll ask how the hell you know that - should I continue."

Again, the answers are in the silence hovering in the room. 

“I think it’s about time to catch me up on what I missed.” 

A beat passes.

“Right,” Annabeth says, blinking and readjusting her ponytail as she sits down across from you, Percy already taking the bindings off of your wrists, “so, about the quest…”

She starts to fill you in on the details you missed, bringing you up to speed. After a little while you all decide to call it a night. Piper senses your energy ramping up in spite of the exhaustion settling in. You finally bid them all good night, but Piper’s not sold by your forced yawns. After what feels like another lifetime, you finally leave the room you’ve been in for hours with one objective. 

You can’t stay away from him anymore, you have to find Leo. 

After navigating a maze of hallways and doors, you finally push open the right one to see him looking up at you, and find yourself saying for the second time tonight,

“Hey, Sparky…” 

His heart is racing, and he gets that heavy, full feeling in his chest again, not having fully shaken it from the last time you saw each other. Looking into your eyes makes him nostalgic for something he can’t quite remember, and he knows with full certainty that you have more history than he’s aware of. He wants more than anything in this moment to remember. He sets down the wrench in his hand, taking a step toward you.

“Hey…”

[oatmilkovich]

I'd really love if you made a post about Noel's acting this episode! If you still want to

hey!! <3

this episode reminded us (not that we needed the reminder, looks at the writers) what the show is missing out on when they reduce the characters and their storyline’s down to comedy with very little substance. 

this is the first time in a long while that it feels like mickey’s trauma surrounding terry has been giving the time, space and the dialogue it deserves. I’ve been waiting many, many years for this sort of resolution for mickey...

my thoughts on noel’s performance under the cut (it’s a little lengthy!)...

as always, disclaimer: this is all my opinion, but i did go to drama school and have a degree. there’s a pandemic and nothing else to do, i just like talking about it. 

firstly, something I’ve always admired about noel’s work is his ability to tell us a thousand things without saying a single word. we’ve seen it from the very first season – there’s very few other actors on the show that consistently carry that much power with their silence and noel really did the most this week. let’s look at this moment:

mickey doesn’t say anything until prompted by ian and yet because of the intensity in noel’s look and the sheer amount of tension he’s carrying, we’re completely aware of mickey’s feelings in the moment without having to hear any dialogue. his physicality tells us more than any dialogue would. his shoulders are tense, his face is fight – it’s a deep, visceral reaction to seeing his father. noel has clearly thought about mickey’s pov here – not only about terry, but about this moment in general, about the first time he sees him after coming home from the hospital, about watching the man who tortured him for years finally be met with even an ounce of the same pain he was subjected to. immediately, we’re thrown into the heavy weight of the moment and when mickey does speak, it only echoes what we already know from his physicality. the dialogue complements noel’s performance, rather than solely carrying it. he’s managed to tap into the perfect balance of allowing the lines to come from truth — they don’t feel planned out or rehearsed but delivering them in a way we can tell that mickey has thought about it – mickey’s history with terry is lengthy and incredibly complex and that’s completely embodied in how noel delivers each line. It’s important to me that we can feel the history there, but that history is left at the door when it comes to his work in the scene. he’s not displaying the history, he’s existing in it. 

my personal ‘acting theory’ (to avoid sounding like a wanker) is that you don’t act as your character, but that you exist as yourself under those circumstances. mickey’s circumstances in the scene are noel’s circumstances and he reacts — as he would — in the moment. prep work for this is key. noel has said in previous interviews that when approaching mickey in the earlier seasons, he focused on having a secret and lengths he would go to protect it. knowing this, we have a small idea on how he approaches mickey now. he clearly has taken something in his own life and used it to personalise this situation with mickey, he’s thought about how he himself would react in those circumstances, because he is himself in mickey’s circumstances — this is why it feels so personal, this is why his performance is still so consistently nuanced all these years later. this is why he can tell us so much in a simple shift of the eyes. 

take emma’s performance during this episode – in the moments she’s talking about sandy and how upset she is (eg: inside the ambulance with ian and mick) she’s very much really going for the oh my heart is so broken blah blah, but it doesn’t land because you don’t believe her heart is broken. the lines are empty. you compare that to the subtleties noel shows us throughout the episode and it’s almost unfair that they have her scenes next to his. this isn’t to roast her, but just to highlight the differences in nuance and depth. allowing dialogue to carry a performance vs actually living in the performance. 

discomfort played a huge part in noel’s performance in 11x06 too and discomfort in scenes can bring wonders. mickey is uncomfortable — he’s faced with some horribly difficult decisions. we see a stark difference from his easy going ‘just pull the plug on him’ energy vs when he’s actually given the chance to. the stakes in the scene and situation are extremely high – mickey is quite literally battling with an opportunity he’s been waiting his entire life for. the weight of those stakes are heavy on his shoulders and the highlight of the episode for me was the physical journey on noel’s face as he holds the gun to terry's chest. noel gives us mickey’s internal battle – there’s the pent up rage he clearly had been carrying with him on the ride over, then the irritation, the fear, the sadness, the frustration. you can almost see everything mickey has ever had to go through because of terry in the way he looks at him. 

this shot above in particular has really, really stuck with me. the way he doesn’t respond to ian, keeping his eyes firmly planted on terry – he’s lost in his thoughts, in his history and you can feel everything behind noel’s eyes. 

it’s such a fantastically layered performance that he makes it impossible to look away. he allows the moment to play out and live and doesn’t speed run to achieve anything in his performance. he doesn’t push. noel doesn’t walk into the scene and go ‘oh i’m gonna make mickey feel this on this line and this on this line’ – he gives the emotions their time and place to land, we see and feel mickey’s journey without a single word. it all comes from his natural reactions to the circumstances. he doesn’t try and show us what mickey is going through when faced with the option to kill terry — he lives it, he sits in it and he exists in it. 

we also had a great example of noel’s range this ep. he delivered his funny, usual one liners like he has done throughout this season but really hammered home his talent when given dramatic scenes. it was a refreshing balance. 

overall, noel’s performance in this episode is a great example of how a well acted scene doesn’t have to contain screaming or crying or overt, obvious dramatics in order to be categorised as ‘good’. similarly to what I said in my post about ian’s vows, some of the smallest and subtle moments can carry as much as a 5 minute monologue or an intense shouting match. 

this is long and probably a little boring, but I could honestly talk about his work for ages. thanks for the question (and the other anons too!) and please feel free to send me anymore – especially as we now have a 3 week break before the next episode <3