#and yes they are all steven universe related

[scribbox]

the struggles of letting an idea marinate in my head for four years straight without telling anyone. now i'm excited to make content for the au of the previous au that originated from another au (the first one) that only i will consume

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

pearl being misunderstood

characters who aren’t pearl, even ones outside steven universe, will do the most heinous things. said things are easily sympathized with. understood. justified by simple sentences like, “it’s because x loved y!”

so, i think in this space, we can agree that lots of things pearl has done for rose are simply because pearl loved rose. and that’s all.

for example, “rose quartz believed all life is precious and worth protecting” is something absolutely beautiful that pearl said because she loved rose. not because of obsession or devotion to a diamond. throughout the show, she loved talking about how rose was a healer and she could never stop talking about it because on homeworld, she knew how much pain pink experienced. during the war, she knew how much pain rose experienced. she was terribly hurt in the past, and then pearl watched her heal so many others who were hurt. that’s why she always talks about this: it’s one of the reasons she loves her so much. and that’s wonderful, strong love for someone else.

was pearl overprotective? yes. was pearl’s love so selfless that she forgot to think about herself sometimes? also yes. did pearl become fixated on rose because of grief, shared trauma, constant worrying, communication issues, and self-blaming issues? yes. is pearl toxic if she breathes around rose while every other character’s considered a-okay? of course not! there are worse fictional partners, ones that are obsessive for worse reasons, ones that are the opposite of obsessive, ones that alternate between the two.

just a pearl defending ramble that no one asked for because im thinking about something that isn’t even really related to pearl. but i have to bring up how misunderstood she is sometimes. not by you guys of course, but i’m posting this because i know you guys get it.

she’s flawed but she has so many good qualities and her love is absolutely genuine love.

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe Rating: Mature Audiences (For references to underage sex) Words: 2.8K~ Summary: It’s possible. The timing lines up. What Connie fears is one hundred percent possible. The problem is, a potential pregnancy this early into their relationship was absolutely not in their plans.

WOE, post canon Connverse pregnancy scare fic be upon ye.

This is honest to god the fastest I've ever written a fic of this length in my whole ass life- I thought of this idea literally last night and nailed it all out in like twelve straight hours. Just so y'all can make an informed decision on whether to read or sit out, this contains minimal description of actual sex beyond like one short paragraph- instead focusing in on the human fallout of poor teenage decision making.

Connie is 17 and already in college, and Steven is 19.

On a semi-related topic, Google absolutely believes I'm pregnant now after all the incessant research I did for this story, lmafo.

Enjoy! I'm putting basically all of this fic under a cut here due to its mature topic nature.

__

If you asked Steven what kind of conversation he expected when Connie called him out of the blue at one AM in the morning, one where she’s hysterical and halfway to hyperventilating definitely wouldn’t have been at the top of his list.

“Woah, woah—” he stresses, passing the phone to his other ear so he can pick on up what she’s saying better. “Just— slow down, okay? Start from the beginning. What’s happened?”

“It’s been three days, Steven!” she says, voice hitching upon his name. “I know my cycle, okay?? I’ve been tracking my cycle ever since I started menstruating, and it’s supposed to be like goddamn clockwork! It’s never been late like this. Never!”

“And you’re, uh— you’re absolutely sure there’s nothing else that could be interfering-??”

“Of course I’m fucking sure!” she hollers, making the small speaker bar on his phone vibrate against the side of his head. 

He winces, already regretting his poor choice of words with her. 

“Okay, okay, I— I shouldn’t have pressed about that. I’m sorry. Just—” he sucks in a deep breath of air, doing his absolute beat not to delve down the dangerous implication filled rabbit hole this early on, when tensions are high and accurate information is sorely limited— “what do you need right now? What can I do to help?”

“I need you here,” she warbles, her hysteria finally pushing over the brim and transforming into a heartbreaking bounty of distraught cries. “With me—!”

He clamps down upon the inside of his lip, thinking. The unfortunate part of living two timezones away from a romantic partner is that their transportation options for emergency visitations are limited. Unless… 

“Is Lion with you?” he asks, crossing his fingers and hoping beyond all hopes that this aloof feline miraculously chose this evening to make a visit at Connie’s off campus group home.

“I-I…” Brief pause. There’s a faint ruffle in the line, probably her shifting position. “I think he’s outside, yes.”

“If you can send him over to me, I’ll be there as fast as I can. Okay?”

“Okay,” she whispers, hoarse and strained. 

“We’ll figure this out, I promise. Love you.”

“Love you…”

And with that, Connie hangs up from her end.

Steven’s humble little studio apartment falls into complete and utter silence. He cradles his phone in his hands, staring with unparalleled intensity at his seventeen-year-old girlfriend’s smiling contact photo for a good few minutes… contemplating the sheer daunting weight of the potential future life’s just sprung on them out of nowhere. 

It’s possible.

The timing lines up.

What Connie fears is one hundred percent possible.

“Shit,” he ultimately hisses, shoving the device in his back pocket and moving to grab his wallet, his keys, and a light jacket.

This was absolutely not the conversation he expected to have tonight.

_____

One trip to his local 24-hour convenience store and a ride on Lion later, Steven finds himself perched on the edge of Connie and her housemates’ shared couch holding the instructional pamphlet for a pregnancy test, intensely conscious of the sleep shattering noise they’re probably making out here despite their best attempts at whispering. Ugh. He really, really hopes they don’t wake Patricia or Natalie up with all this racket. He doesn’t want to be rude, especially not at the heart of midterms season.

“But this says you’re not supposed to take it until a week after your first missed period,” he says, tapping his finger at the relevant section of fine print.

“That doesn’t mean it’s not gonna work at all, though,” Connie shoots back, tussling the instructions from his hands. “Look, see—? It doesn’t say you’re not supposed to take it until then, it just says the results may have a higher chance of inaccuracy.”

“And isn’t accuracy exactly what we need at the moment?” he responds with a bit too much stress riding within his tone. 

(His thoughts trail back to almost three weeks ago. That kissing session that got a bit more heated than either of them had originally planned for. The expired condom that he didn’t realize was expired until after it broke in the middle of sex.)

She shoots him a withering look, her eyes puffy and damp from all the tears she’s already shed tonight. 

“No, what I need is an answer. Any answer, so I can finally go to bed and stop freaking the hell out over this. You know how I am— I just gotta rip the bandaid off, and then I’ll be fine. I’ll even test daily for the next week if that makes you feel better.”

“Whatever makes you feel better,” he gently redirects, capturing her trembling hand within his and rubbing faint circles against the side of her palm for a few precious moments.

Sniffling, she gives a faint nod, grabbing the test itself from the coffee table and moving to stand.

“Okay. I… I’ll be just a few minutes. I’ll come back out once I have the sample ready, a-and… and then we can wait together.”

“Take your time,” he says.

She does.

As it turns out, peeing on demand (and on a plastic test strip, no less) is pretty difficult, even more so when one is stressed beyond all belief. 

They keep in contact over text for those long twenty or so minutes, and it’s through this feed of discussion that he starts to piece together the full picture of what must’ve happened here.

Mistake number one: Connie knew she was in a fertile period. She knew, and— horny as she was at the time— decided to progress the speed of their lovemaking anyways. All her choice. She provided him a condom she’d gotten as a free sample from some university health fair, and off they went. In any normal circumstance, that’s where this story would stop.

But then came mistake number two: right as he neared the brink of orgasm, he felt a distinct jump in sensitivity— one that not only sent him careening right over the edge, but also alerted him to the fact that his condom must’ve snapped. He’s almost positive Connie felt it too. He pulled out as quick as he could the second he realized, but what’s done was done. 

They discovered big mistake number three right afterwards: The condom was already expired. It was expired all along, and neither of them had thought to check the label before slipping it on. Stupid. Connie promised she’d talk to the campus nurse about getting her hands on some free Plan B that next morning— just in case— and Steven assumed that was the end of it. 

But then there was mistake number four: Apparently, Connie never took that Plan B at all. She was so wigged out over one of her upcoming midterms in a class she’s barely passing that (as he learns via this text thread) she forgot to go to the nurse to inquire about it in the first place. By the time she remembered, too many days had passed for it to be effective, so she didn’t bother looking into it further. Instead she merely crossed her fingers that nothing would come of this series of unfortunate happenings whatsoever, but then came late period day number one. And then number two. And then number three. And by that point, the evidence seemed so stacked against her favor that the stress simply exploded. She couldn’t study. She couldn’t even sleep. Thus, she just has to secure an answer tonight, or she’ll never find any peace, she says.

He understands, he does.

But also… he really, really wants to make sure that whatever answer they settle on with this matter is guaranteed correct. And soon, while there’s still time to do something about it (if that’s what she wants) without too much emotional investment coming into play.

Because accidentally knocking up his girlfriend in her second year of college… before they’re even married or close to being engaged… and while she’s still seventeen to boot was absolutely not in their plans.

“Ughhh… stupid, stupid,” he hisses to himself, knocking his head against the plush backing of the sofa. 

If that damned test comes back positive, her mother (and heck, probably Pearl too, for that matter) is going to kill him.

While he wouldn’t mind being a father in a few years’ time, the fact of thee matter is that they’re nowhere close to ready for such a future at this current juncture. Neither of them have jobs. Neither of them have a home of their own that isn’t partially paid for by their parents. Hell, on his end, even with regular therapy and steady medication he still struggles with the most basic self-care like showering daily and remembering to eat breakfast. So how on Earth— if Connie’s fears are right, and she is positive— is he supposed to suddenly pivot to taking care of an infant too on top of all that? Oh stars he’s not ready for this. He’s not. 

And if that’s how he feels, then he can’t even begin to imagine how much terror must be surging through her mind at this present moment.

Yikes. He’s really made a mess of things, hasn’t he? He should’ve… ugh, he should’ve said something. He should’ve gently told her ‘no’ the moment she revealed she was only a day away from ovulation. He shouldn’t have taken the risk. He should’ve thought to check in with her about the Plan B instead of blindly assuming she took care of it. He’s older, so he should’ve been the responsible one. 

He tells her as such.

no, no… it takes two to tango, silly, she responds via text a few seconds later. it’s not your fault any more than it’s mine. im sorry for yelling at you earlier, it’s just. not what i had planned.

same, he responses. 

And then, after a hard swallow and a moment’s pause… he dares to rustle up that big ol’ elephant in the room.

He asks The Question.

have u thought about what you’re gonna do if its positive yet

A set of ellipses show up at the bottom of the screen. She’s typing. Slowly. 

Or maybe… 

The ellipses disappear for a bit. Then reappear. Then blink out existence once again.

Steven sighs, sinking back into the couch and setting his phone upside down so he doesn’t have to psych himself out by staring expectantly at her contact photo at the top of their text feed for the next goodness knows how long. 

Good grief. If he weren’t already so damn emotionally drained over all this, he’s sure he’d be glowing bright ass pink right now. Thank goodness he’s not. Connie needs his comfort tonight, not the other way around. His lip crinkles into a pensive frown as he reflects on the situation… shifts his gaze around the darkened living room. (He catches the faintest glimpse of Lion snoozing outside the window again as his eyes adjust to the light level.) For the briefest of seconds he considers shooting a text to Dad, curious if he might have any advice on how to handle this sort of situation, but then…

No, no. It’s far too early to say anything. Plus, he doesn’t want to risk letting the blunt reality of their active sex life break containment unless Connie says it’s okay.

His phone buzzes.

Heart pounding with unimaginable ferocity, he flips it over to read.

honestly the reason i’m so freaked out rn is that i think id really wanna keep it. even though im SURE it would mess up all my college goals. is that stupid??

Brief pause yet again as she adds something else.

i’m so, so sorry i know that might not be something you’re ready to commit to rn. that’s half of why i’m so upset. i don’t want this to speed up our relationship in ways you’re not ready for, or ruin it altogether

Steven’s inhale is sharp and shallow, his thoughts racing as he tries not to consider the potential implications of what her decision means for him too deeply. It’s not about me, he reminds himself. It’s not about me.

hey, no- it’s okay, he types, fingers shaking. don’t fuss about me. it’s your body. your choice. i’ll support you through whatever you decide. promise.

Send.

A good while passes without a response. 

Considering the heaviness of the topic, he’s half a mind to stride across the room and go knock on the bathroom door to see if she’s okay, but then that very door squeaks open.

Connie scuttles to the couch in a hurry, the test and a generous wad of toilet paper in hand. She lays down the paper on the coffee table first for cleanliness’ sake, and sets the plastic sample cartridge on top of it.

Then, with a weary sigh, she sets a timer on her phone for three minutes.

“Please don’t let me look at it until time’s up,” she says, slumping against his side for comfort. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers, shifting his position to wrap his arms tight around her. Secure. Safe. “We’re okay. Whatever happens, we do it together, all right?”

“All right.”

Noticing her heavy blinking and angling to help her feel better, he brushes a stray wavy lock back behind her ear, his touch as delicate as he can muster. “Hey. Jam buds?”

“Jam buds,” she nods with a watery smile.

They sit in silence for about thirty seconds, allowing each others’ racing heartbeats to lull them to at least some form of camaraderie laden relief.

Or at least, they try to.

“My mom is not gonna be happy about this,” Connie says out of the blue, attaching words to the daunting thought they’re clearly both stewing over.

“If it’s positive,” he reminds her. “It’s still a big if.”

“But I’m right though. I was an underage accident, too, remember? I just—” her voice breaks as she chokes back what he fears might be an impending sob— “I know she wanted better for me. I don’t want to disappoint her, y’know?”

He risks a dry joke to lighten the mood.

“Well… at least if she’s mad, you have the excuse that it runs in the family to fall back on, right?”

“Oh, shut up, you,” she says with a half-hearted giggle, playfully shrugging him away.

They lapse into a peaceful quiet yet again.

He busies himself tracing abstract shapes against the knob of her shoulder, doing his best to help ground her amidst this unexpected squall in their relationship.

“How much time’s left?” she asks, her tone shrunken and nervous 

Steven glances over at her phone on the table. “Just a few more seconds.”

The timer goes off a mere cluster of heartbeats later.

Taking a deep breath as one committed unit, their hands inseparably intertwined, the two lean forward to investigate the pregnancy test together.

There’s only a single band visible in the results window, where the control should be.

Negative.

Steven lets out what’s quite possibly the biggest exhale of his full nineteen years.

Thank the stars.

That’s step one.

It’s still not a solid confirmation— not with this singular test taken so early into what she fears is a missed cycle— but it’s a start.

“What does it mean that a tiny part of me is kinda disappointed now…?” Connie asks him afterwards, sinking backwards into the couch’s soft embrace. 

“It means we’ll have to try again in a few years,” he says, giving the crown of her head a soft kiss. “When we’re actually ready.

_____

Connie tests again just a few hours later that morning. 

Then the next day.

And the next.

All negative.

Much to their relief, their one hundred percent conclusive answer comes on day three, when she calls him at the literal crack of dawn with immense excitement to report the belated start of her period.

Just to be extra sure, she makes a walk-in appointment at the university clinic to talk through the scare with one of their doctors on day four.

“It was that damn anxiety med I just started,” she relays to him over the phone later that evening. “I didn’t even think about it. Apparently medications that function as antidepressants run the risk of screwing up your cycle a bit. Thus, the delay.”

“Well, now we know for the future, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” she says with a faint chuckle. “That, and the importance of never using cheap free sample condoms. Ugh… I’m gonna be so paranoid about expiration dates, now.”

He frowns, rapping his fingertips against the arm of his desk chair.

“Hey, listen— don’t get all worked up over it, okay? Like you’ve said before, it takes two to tango. We never have to do anything you’re not explicitly comfortable with.”

“Yes, yes, you’re right,” she acquiesces. “Of course you’re right… Still, I guess the silver lining of all this is that now I know I actually want children someday.”

“Same,” he says, his chest fluttering with unquestionable affection. “Let’s get you through college first, though. Then we’ll talk.” 

Connie giggles, lively and free. The sound is spellbinding music to his ears.

“Sounds like a deal, Biscuit.”

[artist-heart83]

VivziePop and her “POC characters”

I said “see ya in january” but Vivzie and her fans had been talking non sense every day after my bingo post, so let’s talk about this, shall we

You know the deal, this start because of the hazbin hotel cards and one specifically talking, the Alastor card

The card in particular had voodoo symbols and yeah, look at first I didn’t know anything about voodoo or what was the problem so when I start seeing all the tweets related to the situation and explain it why it was bad, I was “ooh… that’s not good”

Also people reacting (for second time) that Alastor is suppose to be black. Like I didn’t know it at first, until I start watching redesign videos and seeing people drawing him with black features

But people would go and said (you know, trying to defend Vivzie) “oh but you don’t had to” and my honest opinion is:

Like I said, it’s important because that how you can tell a character is supposed to whatever ethnicity(? is, otherwise people are gonna making them white

“Even if they are not human?”

Yes fulanita, even if they’re not human, Steven Universe had gems with some black features (kinda not the best example, but i can’t come with other right now)

I’m like I said before, fans of Vivzie start defending her and specifically one doing a thread about “other POC characters” if you see the thread you know what I going to talk now

Half of the characters are:

1. Stereotypes

2. Non human that you can’t tell if they’re black, latinos or whatever, only if you see their voice actor

3. Majority of the characters are created by people of the staff

When I talk about to brother how Alastor is supposed to be black he goes: “maybe she doesn’t know how to draw black people” and “that should be hard” and I stop him because that bullshit.

I start to explain him that is not hard because she just had to give some texture to the hair and add some features, and hard? To her? The one who made complex design? Can draw a different hair? Nah man, that woman is just racist, like pretend to be shocked. Of course he understands my point.

And the thing that definitely is pissing me off, is how Vivzie decide to ignore this, but not stuff like “my name is Caine I’m your bitch” or “Charlie discourse about what she is supposed to be”, and of course blocking people talking about the situation and trying to explain why is bad

So in conclusion. If you want to introduce any topic in your series 👏 do 👏 the 👏 proper 👏 investigation 👏 because you don’t know if it bad or just a stereotype. And we should expose all the bullshit that VivziePop had done before and still do

[anthurak]

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

4.Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

Hazbin/Helluva Salty Ask game

(Link to Ask List)

For the first question, sadly yes. It was someone I'd been following for quite some time, since the heyday of Steven Universe. But then they turned out to be really big on the Vivzie/Hazbin/Helluva hate and I promptly unfollowed them.

As far as NoTPs go in the Hellaverse, the big one for me is definitely Charlastor. For me that ship was and is the perfect storm of uncomfortable and insufferable 'wanking the overrated tumblr sexyman'. Like you know that post I did a while back on how 'the biggest lie that Alastor ever pulled was convincing all of Hell and tumblr that he’s NOT actually the biggest petty, insecure goober with an ego comprised of wet-tissue paper, etc. etc.'? Yeah, the 'tumblr' part of that is focus SQUARELY on this ship.

And I am VERY happy to have seen it's popularity dwindle since the release of Season 1. Like I might think RadioApple is overrated, but I consider it FAR preferable over Charlastor.

On the Helluva side of things, I would actually say the INVERSE of the question is the one with the more interesting/spicy answer.

But as far as 'fandom OTP that I consider a NoTP', it's not quite a full-blown fandom OTP, but I'll say 'Moxxie/any-lady-that-isn't-Mille'. Simply because many of them (especially Loona/Moxxie) kind of REEK of that same trend we see with Jaune where the ship is basically 'I want to fantasize about having sex with this pretty girl but am too lazy to come up with my OC so I'll just awkwardly crowbar this character I find 'relatable' into a generic self-insert mold'. Like here's a fun game; find any Moxxie/pretty-girl-that-isn't-Millie fic and check if it ignores his bisexuality.

[manicpixieyandere]

Our Top 5 Systems In Media

As we all know DID/OSDD rep has never been the best in media. So we figured we'd share our favorite systems in media! This will be characters diagnosed with DID/OSDD or just plural coded. Gotta spread the positivity you know?

Number 5: Venom & Eddie Brock

Marvel Comics / Venom

Venom and Eddie were the reason we started reading comics in the first place! They're an amazing love story. But also an amazing system story. Learning how to share a body and work together. It's self love but also romantic love! And yes it's canonically romantic don't you dare try to deny it. They have like 8 kids bro.

Number 4: Heart, Mind, & Soul

Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium

Now these songs are fire that we have on so so many playlists. As far as we know Chonny isn't plural but still ended up writing a story about human duality that also encompasses plurality quite well. This system feels most relatable to us and how we operate as an OSDD system.

Number 3: Shimada Kayn & Rhaast

League Of Legends / Heartsteel

Specifically we want to mention their Heartsteel versions where it is heavily hinted that Kayn has DID in this universe and Rhaast is an alter. This does a cool thing we like in League where they creatively use magic to code in disabilities in the main universe but then actually keep those disabilities in the more realistic skinlines. Like Aphelios staying mute In Heartsteel for example. We just love the banter Kayn and Rhaast have. And also their part in the song is the best.

Number 2: Asa Mitaka & Yoru

Chainsaw Man

We absolutely love these two! We originally read the manga for Makima but were pleasantly surprised when Denji took a backseat in arc two and Asa and Yoru became the protagonists! The way they both start to care for each other more overtime is very sweet. It's nice seeing them embrace each others' sides a bit more. Asa becomes more confident while Yoru learns compassion. We can't wait until they make it into the anime one day. Even if that's in 20 years at this rate.

Number 1: Marc Spector, Steven Grant, & Jake Lockley

Moon Knight

Specifically we want to talk about show Moon Knight. The comics are fine but we absolutely prefer silly sweet cinnamon roll Steven over Bruce Wayne wannabe. But more importantly the story of DID in Moon Knight is so incredibly important. We actually rewatched it soon after discovering our system. Seeing Marc and Steven learn how to integrate and work together to be Moon Knight is so emotional and powerful. It serves as inspiration and hope that we could achieve that one day. Obviously there's some stuff played up for Hollywood, but for the most part it's a very accurate representation of plurality based on our own experiences and other's we've seen online. Obviously not everyone agrees, but it seems rather well received for the most part!

Edit:

Honorable Mention: Sun, Moon & Eclipse

FNaF

Oh my god! How could we forget Sun, Moon, and Eclipse? The literally "us frfr" characters! Everyone's favorite canonically autistic skrunkly! We've seen some debates on if The Daycare Attendant perpetuates the "evil alter" stereotype. We can certainly agree it's a fine rope to walk, but the way Sun and Moon are written is interesting enough. It's hinted Moon isn't exactly himself at the moment. Moon is also just supposed to play the villain in theatre shows! They're theatre kids, quite fun!

[haphazardlyannotated]

Okay, can we talk about this for a moment?

Rose's whole quote here is:

When a Gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then… that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same even moment to moment; you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power, the ability to "grow up."

So Rose states here that Gems are incapable of fundamental growth and change. Which is... Kind of an insane thing to say considering the Crystal Gems.

Every day Rose comes home to an Amethyst who seems to prefer food and shape shifting over fighting, a pair of different gems who choose to live as an illegal fusion out of love, and a Pearl who is both a swords- and spearmanship master as well as a tech expert. Not to mention, she herself has not only flipped her inherent skill set in the opposite direction from destructive to healing, she has lead a literal rebellion against her purpose of colonizing planets and using them to make more gems.

So why would Rose say that?

Regarding Rose herself, the explanation is pretty easy. Not even the most fervent, uncharitable Rose Anti hates Rose as much as she hates herself. I have no trouble believing that Rose would be able to convince herself that everything she's done as Rose is a pretty facade and she is still the monster she has made Pink out to be deep down.

But what about the others?

I find it a bit hard to believe that Rose would deny that they have deviated from what Homeworld thinks they are. But then I realised: While Rose might realise that they aren't what Homeworld wants them to be, she could feasibly interpret their actions as still holding on to some basic principles Homeworld instilled in them.

Yes, Amethyst is more interested in fun and relaxation than fighting, but other Amethysts tend to like those things too. And Amethyst is still fighting, just alongside the Crystal Gems instead of as part of Homeworld's army. It wouldn't be too farfetched to assume that the basic programming is intact here.

Pearl is lightyears away from the "stand around and look nice" ideal Homeworld has for Pearls, but Rose is all too aware that Pearl is still has the single mindedly devoted to her. Sure, Pearl's fantasy about her and Rose removes the ownership relation, but, whispers Rose's self hatred at the back of her mind, would a Gem as great as Pearl really choose Rose if her choice was truly free?

Garnet might be harder to explain, but still, aren't Ruby and Sapphire always together this way, just as a Sapphire and her Ruby guard are supposed to be?

If you think about it like that, I could see how Rose might talk herself into some kind of Gem determinism and decide that the only way for herself to truly change would be to stop being both herself and a Gem and be reborn as part of a human child.

But she's wrong.

We know she's wrong because Steven Universe showed us.

Amethyst leaves combat behind as soon as it's unnecessary and becomes a teacher. Ruby and Sapphire regularly do their own thing by SUF, and Ruby proposed to Sapphire to make being Garnet their own decision. And then, of course, there's Pearl.

All of the Crystal Gems reinvented themselves in the exact way that Rose didn't believe Gems ever could.

And in doing so, they also proved that Rose was wrong to think of her own growth as a lie. She didn't become a perfect person- nobody in this show was or will ever be perfect. But she became a genuinely kind and nurturing person who was loved and admired by many for good reason.

When you think about it, the only part of Homeworld that she couldn't let go of was the image she had of herself.

[spacefrog1984]

Lily, how do you come up with this stuff? Even if this isn't an anon-self-ask and this person genuinely found someone saying that you have a problem with Jewish people - how the hell does that related to SU? You are aware that Steven Universe was created by a Jewish woman - I know you know that, we all know you know that. Of course, you're also someone who essentially called this Jewish woman a Nazi or Nazi-sympathizer/apologist. Yes, we all know that your word play in the SU video lets you think you can wriggle out of this, but you'd be wrong.

So, if anyone has problems with Jews, I doubt it would be SU fans, and the more likely suspect would be the person who accuses a Jew of being a Nazi. Wouldn't you agree?

[willowshimmer]

So I watched Fiona And Cake and I'm hooked...

First episode:

I love how it started with all the colors and how it felt! The voice acting was spot on and it felt surreal with the pastel theme.

"I don't wanna go to work......" Relatable... Especially since my school will start soon...

The way Cake is acting really true actually! Minus the ice... Also when cats ears and nose are cold that means they are healthy! If their hot then that means the cat is sick.

I honestly did not know Fionna's job was a thing....

When I saw Marshall Lee I screamed. I live for his DESIGN! And his personality.

Love Fern's hair. That's all I have to say.

Man Fionna's Boss is short I thought they were a kid.

Love Fionna's reaction from getting fired...And how she technically flipped of her now old boss.

PRINCE GUMBALL or should I say Gary...

Gary's so adorable! I would love to try the cookies he made! They look delicious and sweet and the latté there!

Fuck Gary's boss! He don't deserve to work with that short ass dwarf (No offense to anyone who's short) he deserves better!

When Marshall started singing I was just amazed by the voice acting again! Like such voice is amazing for him!

Oh the poor coffee...

Aw! Marshall likes the cookies! I hope he meets Gary some episode!

I don't trust this version of Lumpy space princess...

I LOVE HUNTER! They are so gentle and nice! I get a bit of gender enby vibes from them.

I LOVED THIS EPISODE!♥️

Below is the next episode review cause this is getting a bit long and cause I explore a few dark topics.

Second Episode:

I missed Simon so much!

I don't like how he's basically a human attraction to the citizens. I just don't feel comfortable with that cause of anxiety and I don't like getting asked questions in general.

I personally think that kid should've just left Simon alone and not talk about his past to HIS ENTIRE FAMILY!

I do think what's interesting about the trauma of Simon is that he's so traumatized from his past as the "Ice King" to the point he can't look at ice without freaking out. It's like soldiers who have been in wars and are so traumatized by loud sounds to the point they just at times attack.

I like Finn's new design! It matches well with now personality.

And I like how TV (One of Jake's kids) is with him.

So wait Jake's DEAD!?

Blindfolded into a forest... What could go wrong?

I really love the forest layout cause of colorful and bright it is! It blends in with the vibe it's going for.

I was at first like "Woah there's blood!" When Jake killed the fish but then it made sense cause Adventure Time came out year's ago and they now they're audience has grown since then so it makes sense.

I would love to hear more stories from before Simon was the Ice King.

"SUCK ON THESE NUTS!" YES!!

More things that I noticed about Simon when he was fighting the bear thing is that he's not a fighter, he's not violent, he's just trying to fit in the best he can but even he can't cause of how people keep reminding him about his past as the Ice King.

I know what Finn did was irresponsible cause he just blindfolded Simon and led him into a forest but let me explain. He's lost Jake. And when Jake dies he was probably and most likely devastated since he lost the only person he was mostly close to a that was like a brother to him. That's his way of coping with stuff! But he doesn't know alot about Simon so he tried to do the one thing that helped HIM! He tried.

I was so HAPPY to see Marceline and Bubblegum again!

I find it very funny that Bubblegum's skin sticks to the tattoo gun.

Love Marceline's new hair cut as well.

I just Simon to be happy with his wife! Is that to much to ask!?😭

Also I think I catched a Steven universe reference when Cake came out Simon's hair.

This episode was heavy and full of emotion to unpack and I think I like that!

I love the series so far and hope more of it soon!

Also I'M BACK!

[pleasantspark]

A bout emily In base of her official script she wants more responsability and I believe despite being joy bringer she doesn't take care about traumatized winners so she has very shilder reality. Not matter the canon says I like theory exocists victims od sinners,so adam helps them with their trama, and aslo raphael.

I think both emily and charlie want to be hero because they feel unworting respect their tutor, and redeption is just an excuse. I mean imagine a scene like in mulana(cartoon) charlie admit she did what she did because she wants to feel special , ahero like her parents but she fail(because I'm not believe now extremination gone sinners would attack earth and another rings)

It doesn't really help that case. The point is, we didn't get what were shown. All I see is Steven Universe genderbent in Hell. I understand people make up their own fan theories but that's just fuel for VivziePop to make canon in her show, I don't understand why we weren't given what was advertised and I feel like either we were scammed or robbed.

I mean look at the HB PDF of the Pitch. There was no mention of He-Shall-Not-Be-Named. But that doesn't change the fact the show could've at least stuck with the original script.

We didn't even know Emily was a "Joybringer" until after Charlie and Vaggie was sent back to Hell and she TELLS US NOT SHOWS US she is to Sera.

To me, Emily is just Charlie 2.0. and it's not fair how the characters we are following don't get the proper characterization at all. Other than the fact they either fall into a specific critera in order to make the the show more "well meaning" and "evil"

Yeah females being shown in the wrong even if they aren't is definitely stupid as fuck. Apologizes for the rant I'm not feeling to good and I don't want to talk much about Hazbin anymore I'm starting to believe criticizing every point that's been bothering me is just not it anymore.

I'm a fanfiction writer for fucks sake! So most of my next few posts will be related to my DBZ stuff god I miss it so much.

Also my irratic behavior could be that I'm off my meds. Even though I've been off them for awhile now. Prolly just tired. Posting this and going to bed. Yes it's 2PM EST and I have depression. I don't find joy in this if anything Depression in the helluvaverse makes me even more depressed.

[gastersreturn]

YOU HAVE FOUND HIM

GASTER'S RETURN MASTERPOST

PROLOGUE

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28 -----------------------------

GASTER'S RETURN FAQ

What is the plot ?

Everything is in the title, it's a story about Gaster returning from wherever he was after his accident that broke him between time and space. This story is set after the Pacifist ending, months after monsters have been freed from the Underground

What are the main themes of this story ?

The main purpose of this story is to answer all your questions It will also talk about mental health, how to move on, friendship etc (Pretty much a lot of themes that are also found in the original game actually)

Is it an AU (Alternative Universe ?) ? And how close it is from Undertale ?

Yep, it is. I want to keep it as close of the canon as possible, to make the characters and universe as authentic as possible in order to really tell a story based on the game. But it won't be exactly the same as the canon.

Several details change in this story and this is why I call it a "AU", the main ones being :

Gaster : My interpretation of Gaster resemble a lot the general interpretation of the fandom about him, but not completely. It will be fun to play with what you know, or what you think you know about him :)

Sans and Papyrus's origins : In the original game, I strongly think that Sans and Papyrus don't come from Undertale, but from Deltarune (I won't elaborate more on that subject, you can make your own researches on this theory if you're interested), however it's not the case in this AU. Sans and Papyrus really come from the Undertale universe. It will change their characters slightly, but I'll do my best to show them accurately (at least more accurately than the general fandom's representation of them)

Frisk : Frisk's personality have been imagined and adapted to this story. I wanted Frisk to be like a fusion of their actual personality in the game (because, yes, they have one even if it's really subtle) and the one of the player. So, you get it, the player in itself isn't really a thing in this universe

How did you had the idea of making this AU ?

At the very beginning, I just started to make some random drawings of Gaster, and some KingDings (AsgorexGaster) sketches, then other Gaster related things, and a story began to form into my mind. I decided that I wanted to make something out of it. I have been, and still am, really inspired by several cartoon shows (Steven Universe, The Owl House, Amphibia, Hilda, or even Bluey in some aspects), and other things like the book "House of Leaves"

So does that mean there will there be KingDings in this AU ?

Well, not really. the main focus of this story won't be romance. At this point of their lives, neither of them are ready for a relationship (if I want it to be healthy). I have thought about making a KingDings mini serie after the main one to develop their relationship, but I don't know if I really will, I didn't even wrote anything for it yet.

When will the next pages come out ?

The Chapter 1 will come out very soon (I'd say in two/three weeks), I just want to make a little aesthetic update on this blog and ComicFury before that Also I will work differently from the prologue and post multiple pages at a time, It will be better to follow the story like that, but it also means longer wait between them I'll give a more clear answer when I'll decide what to do x)

How long is this going to take to complete the story ?

Long as hell, I have written a prologue and 4 chapters to finish the story, wish me luck

Am I allowed to make a dub of the comic ?

I honestly don't know if anyone would ever want to make one, but if you do, sure you can ! (as long that you credit me of course) You are also allowed to make fanarts, or any fanwork based on this AU, again I'm not sure if anyone would, but just in case x)

Am I allowed to repost this AU somewhere else ? Or to make a translation ?

Mmmh….I would allow it, but I want to be informed of it before you do. DM me to ask me, and if you see someone else than me reposting it somewhere, please tell me ^^ The only places I post this AU in here and on ComicFury, anywhere else isn't me

I have other questions !!!

Then you can ask them ! I will answers the ones who are interesting/doesn't require me to spoil my own story

------------------------------ WILL YOU KEEP SEARCHING ?

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

more than requited; a relationship

(and why this is important)

“if you dont think rose and pearl had a romantic relationship, steven universe is probably not for you.” — composer surasshu

“if it’s not, then i’ve misunderstood the whole thing!” — storyboarder raven molisee, also responsible for rose’s scabbard, when asked if the relationship between pearl + rose is romantic.

pearl confessed her feelings in now we’re only falling apart. since sugar and burnett confirmed it’s not unrequited, it makes sense that they had a relationship. since they lived together up until the end, you can assume they stayed together. gem relationships ≠ human relationships, but we know that romantic partners tend to physically move away from each other when they separate.

“determined to be everything that white was not, she is close with everyone, flexible in everything. love and fun are the rule, and there are no rules, and everyone is the most special.” — end of an era, page 76

you know the assumption that pearl’s love for rose was about programming, worship, power imbalances, a pearl looking up to her diamond?based on both their characters, a dynamic like this would not last as long as it did. living together throughout rose’s entire existence says a lot considering this end of an era quote. rose wanted everyone to have a different environment from homeworld. pearl lived in that environment & she was rose’s longest intimate relationship.

pearl hates being underestimated & spoken to like homeworld’s idea of a pearl, as seen in episodes like gem heist & back to the barn. she’s also constantly fighting. it’s something she’s good at, literally and figuratively. she argues. she fights her own mind, the powers of others, & homeworld itself. growth is continuous, but if she could make enough progress to stand her ground & argue with rose during the war, she would fight a dynamic on earth that reflects homeworld.

personal traumas would cause them to struggle in any relationship. a positive aspect of their relationship was that they were aware of each other's pasts, lots of secrets, pain.

pearl saw some of rose's abuse trauma among other things, exacerbating her overprotective behaviour. worrying about her potential dangers, whether she was happy. both fears are shown in sworn to the sword when she says, "you’re too important," then immediately argues, "yes, you are," after hearing, “i am not,” as if she expected that response. then (and only then) she accidentally says rose’s name. while it’s related to rose’s homeworld trauma, it’s unrelated to their their original & forced dynamic.

it’s a lot more complicated than that. it’s funny, their relationship is more complex yet warmer in this case, whereas a diamond-pearl powerful-weak dynamic on earth is less complex yet colder.

“you just said pearl fights through her issues! wouldn’t she fight through any of their issues, no matter where they came from?”

pearl wouldn’t see this as an issue at all. she would be particularly stubborn about being extra protective, believing she was justified. knowing her secret, the idea that she could poof & come back and everything would be fine but if that happened to rose, it wouldn’t be so simple. she needed time & she had to see the same situation happen from an outside perspective (connie + steven) to understand rose’s perspective.

besides, there are many beautiful aspects of this relationship. as tragic as the ending was, pearl + rose openly loved each other while they lived together. while their relationship was not perfect, they had much more love being in each other's lives than if they were apart.

[ikamigami]

Okay.. so I'm doing it.. y'all hate me for this theory but here it comes 🙈

So I think that Sun is actually a Wither Storm Dragon.. this is his true form.. (someone in the comments to this post said that Creator actually made Sun like that to be able to defeat Astrals)

I'm not kidding you when I say that I had a theory that Sun will change into a Wither Storm because this is his true form.. and I posted this theory on Discord.. but sadly I was dumb and I didn't take any screenshots so only those who was at that time with me on Discord know what I'm talking about..

I don't remember if people like it or not.. but I remember that other theory (not mine) became quite popular on Discord - Sun will turn into a monster just like in Steven Universe.. and his family will help him etc.

I thought that it's not the worst idea because I thought that it fit with how Sun perceives himself.. as a monster..

Anyway people thought that Sun will snap and turn into a monster but his family will help him and we'll get a happy ending..

But then Sun turned into a Dragon and people started saying that Sun will snap and turn into a Dragon-monster..

And let me tell you that Sun's answer about who's he afraid the most reminded me of these things.. these theories..

Because Sun said that he's afraid of Wither Storm.. a Wither Storm from their dimension.. like I get it he's scared because Wither Storm means the end of the world so it's reasonable why he's afraid..

But don't you find it a bit suspicious.. a bit ominous.. when Sun also said that he doesn't like his new "wither shards" abilities.. and also considering that we now learned that Wither Storms are actually Dragons and that they a different thing from positive and negative energy..

And let me repeat that for you.. we learned that Wither Storms are actually Dragons and Sun is somehow connected to Wither Storms..

And what did that say in this post?

"But then Sun turned into a Dragon.."

Sun turned into a Dragon..

By New Moon and Solar..

Back then it was an accident.. but Solar was using a specific word.. "test".. he wanted to test something with portal..

But what if now Nexus will kidnap Sun and Solar will join him (not because he'd do that normally but because Dark Sun has plans for him and we don't know what exactly he meant by that) and they will test Sun's "wither shards" abilities.. and his connection to Wither Storm.. and then Sun will transform into a Wither Storm Dragon..

And let me tell you more.. what if "Sun become a Dragon" episode is a foreshadowing of events?

Because in that episode both Solar and New Moon were oddly more mean and uncaring towards Sun (and this is why this episode was pissing me off so much xbnsndnx)

And Solar told New Moon to look after Sun to "make sure he doesn't kill himself".. yes, the way Solar said that was odd af.. even everyone on Discord server agreed with me on that.. because Solar could say "make sure that he won't get himself killed".. but he said "make sure he doesn't kill himself".. WHAT ?

And later I realized the weird thumbnail for Banban's gameplay "Sun's mental breakdown"..

Why they all look like that? And why they even here in the first place?

And later we had this thumbnail for Uno compilation..

I talked about the meaning of each dead character in the thumbnail and how Sun perceives each of these characters.. to say it simply it reflects his guilt regarding these characters and specific things/events related to each character.. (I can go into more detail later if someone would like me to ^^)

But anyway.. I still remember hallucination of BM saying to Sun that he'll see others.. what others.. and it was after he saw hallucination of Old Moon.. so HBM couldn't mean HOM.. so what others they meant.. WHAT ?

He meant that Sun will hallucinate other characters.. but because we didn't see that happening yet.. it means that it'll happen..

So now I'll get back to my theory: so Nexus kidnaps Sun (Solar either already joined him or will join him later) and he tries to find wither shards with Sun's "help" but later he becomes interested in connection that Sun has with Wither Storm because why he isn't affected by wither shards but others are? And he begans testing Sun.. and Sun turns into a Wither Storm Dragon..

And then Sun will have a mental breakdown and he'll hallucinate.. and he'll try to kill himself.. most probably by jumping into his own mana pool..

But if we'd like more angst Sun can also break something in Wither Storm Dragon form on accident because he's confused etc and it'll be Dazzle cause Nexus will also kidnap her to force Sun to be compliant.. and then Sun will have a mental breakdown and he'll hallucinate and "realize" that he's a monster and he'll try to kill himself..

But because I doubt that Sun as Wither Storm Dragon could die even in mana pool.. he'll survive but he'll be in a magic coma and Nexus will take his body out but his body will be back to normal.. and Nexus will held Sun's dead body and then he'll remember Eclipse's words and BOOM !

Sun dies because of Nexus' actions :)

Update: it can also be like someone said that Sun will die in Moon's arms because well Eclipse saw Moon and not Nexus..

And it'll be because of Astrals.. but I'm not so sure about that one.. but maybe it'll be that Astrals will appear and try to kill either Sun or Nexus or both.. and Sun will shield Nexus with his own body and die..

Nexus will be standing paralyzed and Moon will rush to Sun and he'll hold him in his arms in his last moments.. and then Nexus will remember Eclipse's words..

Idk when Moon will fight Nexus maybe after Sun's death..

And also I forgot that it'll most definitely happen during October takeover or at the end of it :)

[karie-on]

Last updated 02.12.2023 As a few people have come here recently, I wanted to make a post in which I will write a little about how I like to play, what I use most often and what are my must-haves in the game. This will be a bit of a resources/faq.

Am I WCIF friendly? Yes I am, text me I’ll be happy to help.

How do I like to play Sims 4? I like cozy vibe gameplay. I basically love everything about this game.

Maxis match or Alpha? Maxis match only!

What presets do I use? I use gshade, Gia by Kindlespice for screenshots and Luminescent by Hazelminesims for gameplay.

What do I use to edit photos? I don't edit my photos, I only use gshade (Gia preset). Buffs, emotions pop ups I add in Canva

Will I upload my sims to download? Yes I don’t have problem with uploading any of my sim, they don’t feel personal for me at all. It’s just a game. But I create sims usually only with CC so below is the list of what I use.

Skin details/Body details: Eye shine remover Beetle eyes (default and addons) Teeth replacement Pregnancy belly overlay Pierced ear detail Tan lines Little details Belly overlay Stretch marks details Skin detail cc pack by peachyfaerie (clevage and collarbones) Clevage overlay Starch Masks Cellulite overlay Age wrinkles (just a few of all set) Face definition NosemasksSD-faaeish Misc. face details About face skin details by pyxis To the bone nosemasks by pyxis Under Cover Nose Details Dimples by PoyoPoyo Eyebags by Tamosims Wedding ring tan line by XUrbanSimsX

Teeth: Nondefault Maxis Teeth Imperfection Teeths Set Happy Gappy Teeth Set Skinblends: Bare Skintones Agave Default Skinblend Cartoon Skins Thuja Skinblend Aeonium Skinblend Pufferfish Skinblend Posie Skinblend Sage Skinblend

Sliders: Breast sliders Teanmoon Mouth Scale Slider

Nails: Natural Nails True Almond Nails Serpentine Nails Classic Ombre French Nails

Makeup: EA Eyelashes Remover by Kijiko 3D Lashes Uncurled Eyelashes by Kijiko Eyelashes by Obscurus Eyelashes NO.1 by TwistedCat Eyelashes Part [1] [2] [4] [5] by Miiko Petals Blush by Breezytrait Eyebrows N4-N6 by Northern Siberia Winds Every eyebrows (No. 2- No.7) by TwistedCat Maxis Match Eyebrows (61-65) by Obscurus Eyebrows 68 by Obscurus Eyeliner N26 by Cosimetic Lip Kit by Peachyfaerie Honey and Suga Gloss by XUrbanSimsX

Gameplay Mods: MC Command Center by Deaderpool Tidy CAS by YoruQueenofNight Stand Still in CAS & CAS Close Up by Helgatisha CAS Tuning by NSW More CAS Presets by Zerbu UI Cheats by Weerbesu Control any sim by TitanNano Sleep All Night By LittleMsSam No Cold Clothes Inside by scarletqueenkat, (stopped creating so link doesn’t work) Dance Override 2.0 by Steven Studios Shorter University Degrees by Peridot (I'm using 6 credits) Selfie override (single and paired) by DearKim Faster Uni Homework by LittleMsSam Longer Parties & More Guests by Weerbesu The Missing Plumbob by mintvalentine No Zzz by Krys29 Memory Keeper Journal by Ravasheen ISO Full Control Camera by Ravasheen Photographic Memory 2.0 by Ravasheen Sims Portrait Maker by Ravasheen Indoor Dog Potty Pads by Ravasheen Music Festival and Concert Mod by Mercuryfoam Change outfit in Mirror by BrazenLotus Phone replacement by FrenchieSim Steady Sit & Seat Any Sim by Amellce

Food Related Mods: Drink Tray by Somik and Severinka, Grannies Cookbook by Littlbowbub Functional champagne bottles by Somik and Severinka 2xSlower fish and food Spoil by simmythesim Home Chef Hustle Pizza fix by Channel4sims Drinkable beer by Icemunmun Custom Drink Interactions by TheFoodGroup

Romance mods: (because I'm all about the love and drama relationship in my Sims) Wicked Whims by Turbodriver (E404P, Amra72, Kiki, lupobianco, Mia, Mike24, ooOLaLaWorld, Yummy-o-Tummy) Cute Romance by thepancake1 and MizoreYukii First Impressions by Lumpinou Kiss-n-Grind 1.5 by Utopya_cc Passionate Gifts 0.1 by Utopya_cc Carry and Kiss animation interaction mod by Khlas More kisses 1.5 by Maplebell Bed cuddle by thepancake1 and MizoreYukii Romance Interactions by KiaraMods Relationship & Pregnancy Overhaul by Lumpinou Expanded Storytelling Relationship Bits Mod by Maplebell

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

A Safe Place: Part 2

Summary: Jake has one happy place. His pride and joy and comfort. When things go south, this is what he turns to.

Marc has started to rely on Jake to be his solid force. The unshakable rock that keeps them all stable.

Steven knows better. They are all delicately balanced on a thin wire.

What happens when one of them takes a spill?

Pairings: LaylaxMarc, LaylaxJake, LaylaxSteven

Universe: MCU

Warnings: Dissociation, Depression, DID, Habits of self destruction, discussion of mild self harm, mild talk of child abuse, depictions of eating disorders (in relation to depression), PTSD, Heavy drinking

Word Count: 3856

Previous Chapter HERE

Part: Two - Marc shoulders the blame.

Next Chapter HERE.

------

Marc hated that he had to function. 

The idea of having a body only did him well when it came to having control. Control over what he did, where he went, and how he handled things. The physical impact of pain and, if he was feeling generous towards himself, pleasure reminded him that a body was a real thing. 

Tending to the body? He could do without that. 

Marc often forgot to do things. Crucial things that you would think would be needed for survival. 

He could never honestly say when the last time he ate was. How did it taste? He wasn’t sure. Eating was a mechanical function that he did without any joy. He hated texture and flavor didn’t matter. He’d just as soon eat plain buttered bread every day for every meal for the rest of his life for all it mattered to him. The very act of sitting down to put food in his mouth and chew felt like a chore. 

When was the last time he slept? Well… He was fairly certain that he had woken up at some point. To wake up meant that he had to have been in some form of unconsciousness. 

How long had he been asleep? He had no idea. A few minutes? A few days? A year or two? He had no concept of time at the best of days. 

What about showering? He had brushed his hair back and gotten dressed in his favorite outfit, that just so happened to look nice. He was pretty sure he didn’t smell so he must have done something hygienic at some point. His teeth slick and he didn’t have mothball mouth. He felt he was doing well for himself. 

His head was pounding. When was the last time he had a drink? That was a trick question. He was drinking right now. A nice bottle of Jack sat on the counter and looked well tapped into. 

He staggered to the kitchen and finished the liquid in his glass. It was hard to stop. He didn’t want to stop. He used to be able to finish a whole bottle in one go, but the healing power of the suit was no longer with him and he had the body to think about. 

The body. 

Always thinking about the body. 

What hurt? Why did it hurt? Was it something he did? Something he failed to do? Would the others be angry at him for it? 

He turned to the counter and stared down at the bottle. Why was it out? Had he taken it out? 

He could remember waking up at some point (that whole consciousness thing again) and staring into the darkness and feeling it creep in on him. Creeping like a casket. Like being buried alive. Like drowning. 

So the logical thing to do was to get up and…. Right. The bottle. 

He poured another glass and held it up to the light. It was a terrible color. Like petrol. 

Smelled no better, either. Cheap and hot and strong. 

Marc finished it then looked at the bottle again. “M’nah supposed to….Be here.” He muttered to the world. A phrase thrown at him over and over again in his life. “S’pposed to be dead.” 

Ah yes, this part. The part where he knew he should stop but the numbness he desperately wanted was slipping away. He could feel the darkness crowding him again. 

Usually by now someone stopped him. Steven might wake up and put them in the shower before heaving them back off to bed with a side of aspirin. Jake might just pull the body away by force, shutting Marc down so hard that Marc would fall into that delightful place where he didn’t have a body and didn’t have to worry about tending to it. 

He looked around as if expecting to see one of them lurking behind the shadows. He didn’t want to feel regret for his actions. He didn’t want to apologize to Steven later. He certainly didn’t want to have to deal with the way it was going to start backfiring on him and then…

The light caught the bottle and he could see it dangling from someone’s grasp. Swinging slowly as it clinked off the walls with each step. Tink…tsscchh. Tink….tsscchh… Marc… Marc open the door. 

He flinched hard and pulled away from the memory. He stumbled backwards and fell over a chair, crashing to the ground. 

There was rustling from the otherside of the flat and Marc stared up at the ceiling as he tried to get a hold of himself. 

Tink… Tink… Tink… He could hear the way fingernails tapped at the neck of the bottle now. Impatiently circling the same thought over and over again. You… You did this. It’s your fault. 

He heard the sound of feet walking towards him and two different instincts kicked in at war with one another. The urge to curl up into a tiny ball and the urge to flee. Both would have the same result. Always the same result. It didn’t matter. 

A shadow fell over him, the form lurking up out of the dark to block out the light of the window. 

Marc frantically kicked the fallen chair out of his way and scrambled across the floor. He was trying to yell something but his mouth wasn’t working right. It came out small and frightened and not at all as menacing as he had hoped. 

The light clicked on and Marc knew he was in trouble. She wanted to see her target. She wanted to see the belt dig into his flesh. To see it cut him and tear him away bit by bit by bit until… 

“MARC!” 

He lay on the floor on his back, gasping and staring up at the ceiling, his arms shielding his head and body the best they could as they trembled and quivered. 

A slow swallow and he looked around at the familiar furniture. Slowly he dropped a hand to the rug under him and let his fingers thread through the fabric there. 

His other hand, still protecting his face slowly settled to rest on his chest, feeling the way his own heart fluttered inside him. 

“Marc…” The figure stood off to the side, small and looking at him with large eyes. Her hair was a mess of curls and frizz and her nightshirt was hanging off one shoulder. She looked tired. “Are you with me?” 

He closed his eyes and felt his whole body suddenly flinch hard as he fought off the lingering sensation of what he knew had been coming. The memory was still there but at least he couldn’t hear the screaming. 

He shook his head and slowly put his hands over his face. 

“Marc, honey…” She moved and sat on the floor. She knew better than to get too close. He needed room in these moments. She would wait for him to come to her. “Come on… Look at me. Take a deep breath and tell me where you are.” 

Marc shook his head again for a moment as his body flinched again. It hurt. He could feel his own poor choices building up and the body he didn’t even want was suddenly rebelling. “Hmn…” He tried to speak and he winced as his overly dry lips cracked sharply. “Fuck… I’m… Not… Not there.” 

“Okay. Good.” She moved just a little closer. “Where are you right now?” 

He groaned and slammed his fist into the floor under him. Pain jolted him and he let out a hard gasp. “On the floor.” 

It wasn’t the answer she was looking for but at least it was solid. 

He slowly looked over at her, taking in the shape of her crossed legs, her hunched spine, her open hands that were now on the floor near him, waiting. 

He couldn’t meet her eyes. He didn’t want her to see into him. 

“Are you alright? Take a breath and talk to me.” She inched just a little closer now. 

He took a slow breath and felt like throwing up. His hand clutched at his stomach and he slowly rolled to his side and curled up. “Am I dead?” 

“Not this time.” She reached out and her fingers ever so gently touched his arm. When he didn’t pull away she let the hand slide down to his and gently tangle with his until he squeezed and latched on. 

“I feel like I should be dead.” He looked up at her this time and watched the way her eyes slowly moved over him. There was worry and sadness there. Pain that he hated and it made him hate himself more for putting it there. 

Slowly he shifted and moved to lay his head in her lap and she gently stroked her fingers through his hair. 

“You aren’t dead. You might wish you were tomorrow, though… Did you really drink half that bottle?” She sighed and he tried to think back. 

“Useless. Aren’t I?” He felt his eyes sting and he buried his face into her lap to hide the tears that might slide out on their own. “I’m sorry… Tell Steven I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to trash us.” 

“He knows…” She brushed the curls away from the back of his neck and he shuddered as he fought back the urge to punch the floor again. He wanted to feel awake. He wanted to feel something. If he had to have the body, he wanted it to be solid. 

As if she knew what he was thinking, she moved her free hand down and caught his, bringing it up to kiss his knuckles gently. “Come to bed, okay?” 

Marc shook his head but was already moving to sit up. “I let them take his car…” 

“No you didn’t.” She kissed his cheek gently. “You had nothing to do with it. It was just a bad luck of the draw.” 

Marc looked away. “Useless… Can’t even hunt it down… Can’t find them. Can’t make them never hurt anyone again… Fucking Useless.” 

He staggered to his feet in one motion and stumbled over to the bed before he collapsed into it, curling up. 

He could hear Layla sigh before she got to her feet. There was the soft sound of her walking to the bed then he felt the blankets slide under him as she adjusted things and tucked him in. “You are far from useless, Marc… Don’t be so hard on yourself.” 

He let the darkness claim him as he sank down into the bed and earth and grave he had dug for himself long ago. His last thought as he slipped into sleep was I’m sorry ‘bout your car. Sorry ‘bout the body…

–

Steven jolted awake with such speed and urgency that it took him a second to try to figure out why. 

It didn’t take long. His stomach churned again and he rolled out of the bed. His steps were wide and stumbling as he bolted for the toilet. He had just enough time to fall to his knees before he was evacuating the contents of his stomach into the loo. Unfortunately for him, it was mostly empty. He heaved again and felt the body fold in on itself as it tried to expel his very soul. 

Trembling, he gave a mournful cry and rested his forehead on his arms as he stared down at the floor. Everything worth noting hurt and everything not worth noting didn’t feel so great either. 

He mumbled to himself until he sensed Layla standing behind him. 

“Good morning, Steven… Are you okay?” She kneeled behind him and gently stroked his back. 

Steven let out another whimper as his body heaved and he wretched into the toilet. “I’m dying.” He shuddered. “I’m going to pray now. When I die make sure to tell everyone I at least got that part right…” 

She made a sound and patted his back. “You aren’t dying. You and Marc are so dramatic…” 

Steven looked up at Layla, his eyes swimming pools of anguish and his face pale and pasty. “What happened? I leave him alone for… a few hours… And he decides he needs to drink a liquor store?” 

Layla moved to gather some things and held out a glass of water and aspirin. “I’m not sure. I woke up in the middle of the night to him already trashed and having flashbacks.” She frowned. “Not the usual ones.” 

Steven took the water and forced himself to sip it and swallow the pills, though the last thing he wanted to do was put anything else in his body. 

“Where did he even get the alcohol from? I thought we tossed it all after the last bender he went on?” Steven slowly got up and moved to wash his face off with cold water. He felt grimy and like he was somehow a walking bruise. 

“I think he’s hidden a few ‘emergency’ bottles.” Layla sighed and got up, moving to fidget just behind him as he cleaned up. 

Steven glanced at her reflection in the mirror, not wanting to meet his own. He didn’t want to know how terrible he must look at the moment. “He and I are going to bloody well have a little chat about this. You can be sure of that. If he wants to drink, he can be the one to wake up face down in the toilet.” 

Layla smiled and hid it quickly behind her hand. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Marc suffer like this before. He gets headaches, but he doesn’t throw up.” 

“Good for him. I don’t drink like he does!” Steven splashed more water in his face. When was the last time he could remember getting drunk? 

“Purim.” Steven groaned and made a face. 

“What’s that?” Layla held out a soft towel for him. 

“The last time I got drunk. Me, not the others.” He flushed and took the towel thankfully. “I’m not sure when it was. I want to say two or three years ago… But time is a little…” 

“Wishy washy.” Layla nodded. Steven had tried to explain how time behaved in his memories to her before. She didn’t fully understand, but she knew that all their memories were a mess of bad information and even worse memories. 

“Right.” Steven buried his face in the towel for a moment, hoping that it might solve his headache. “Purim is the holiday where you get utterly smashed. You know… ‘Drink till you can’t tell your friends from your enemies’. At least that’s the common explanation.” 

“You strike me as an emotional drunk.” Layla eyed him. Marc was absolutely an angry drunk… But more at himself than anything else. She tried not to think about the number of times she’d had to help clean him up after a bad night of drinking. Jake she had yet to see drunk. She wasn’t sure she wanted to. 

Steven dropped the towel in the sink then staggered back to the bed and collapsed face first into it with a groan. “I drank the whole bottle of wine. I don’t remember much past me thinking it was a great idea to go outside and sing at the top of my lungs.” 

You fell down the stairs and I spent the rest of the night wrestling control from you while you sang some love ballard and cried. 

Marc’s gruff voice spoke up, sounding grumpy and unamused. 

“Oh. The peanut gallery returns.” Steven rolled over. “Marc’s awake. I am more than happy to let him deal with this.” 

Steven stared at the ceiling and waited but Marc made no move to step in. “Marc… I think I’m going to puke again. Take the body.” 

How is it I don’t have that problem? It’s the same body. It knows how to handle things just fine when I drive.

Steven looked over at Layla with large pleading eyes. She shrugged. “I guess I’ll just go throw out the hangover breakfast I made. Steven certainly isn’t going to be holding that down.” 

“Marc.” Steven warned as he felt his stomach trying to reject the meager water offering. 

“FINE!” Marc stepped in and felt his headache start to pound, but at least his stomach was settling down. 

Thanks, mate. We’ll talk about this later, yeah?

Marc grunted and climbed back to his feet. He knew it wasn’t fair to force Steven to deal with the aftermath of his own mistakes. Steven had been forced to deal with enough of those. 

“Dirty trick.” Marc gave Layla a look. “There had better be steak. Or at least four eggs.” 

Layla went to him and gently took his hand, pulling him over to the table where she sat him down. A plate of eggs, toast, and potatoes sat waiting next to a strong cup of coffee. 

Marc stared at the plate for a moment while Layla sat across from him at the table. He sighed and loaded up a slice of toast as a quick vehicle to get the food into him and took a large bite. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Layla sipped her own mug slowly. 

A glance out the window showed that it was later in the day than it felt like and she had most likely been up for hours and already eaten. He looked at her and took note of how tired she looked. 

Guilt stabbed at him. “Did you sleep?” 

“Not really.” She shrugged it off but he could easily imagine her staying awake after she had found her husband on the floor. Perhaps she was too worried about him to go back to sleep. Maybe she was angry. Maybe she worried that he would get back up and finish the bottle. Or find another one. 

“Sorry.” Marc took another bite and averted his gaze. 

“Have you heard from Jake?” She ventured forward, not acknowledging his attempts to apologize. 

Marc frowned and ran a hand through his hair. “No. I was going to ask you the same thing.” 

Layla sighed and sat back. “No. I thought I saw him for a moment last night before bed. One of you was looking out the window for a very long time. He’s usually heading out at about that time.” 

“I wouldn’t know.” Marc gulped down the coffee, ignoring the way it burned on the way down. 

“Marc…” She started then bit her lower lip and hesitated. He could tell she was not happy with him and wanted to talk but any false start could lead to an argument. 

Marc pushed his plate away and stared down at the table, his hands worrying in his lap slightly. “I fucked up. Okay? I felt bad about the car and Jake was upset. If we hadn’t all been fighting all day, he would have gone out to his car earlier. Maybe it would have still been there and it would have been out when the jack-ass that stole it got there. I started a fight and now we don’t have a car. Story of my life, alright?” 

“Are you kidding me?” Layla gave him a sharp look. “You’re going to try to blame yourself for the car getting stolen? I seem to recall that we were all fighting! And that has nothing to do with what happened!” 

Marc gave a grunt of disagreement then got up, running a hand over his face as if he might be able to push his own emotions away with just a swipe of the hand. “I should be doing something to get it back. I should be out there. I know people. I have connections. I know the local chop-shops. I’m supposed to be protecting us and all I do is fuck up and let us suffer.” 

“What are you going to do? Walk in and start a fight? As Marc Spector? No healing abilities? In the middle of London. In the middle of the day?” She watched him pace from the table. “What would you do if you found the car? Drive it away? No trouble at all?” 

Marc looked out the window. He knew exactly what he’d do if he found the car. He knew what he wanted to do now. How many heads he’d crack open just to get the info he needed to find the guy that took it. 

His fists balled up tightly and he winced as he felt the faint pain in his hand from the night before. Looking at his hand, he could make out the faint outline of a key that had pressed in too tightly. 

The world started to swim just a bit. His pounding headache kept a solid beat with his heart that was suddenly up in his throat. His stomach hurt and he could still feel the strain on his throat from the retching earlier. Maybe if he drank enough he could throw up his heart too… What was it Steven said earlier when he’d been fading in and out? 

“I’m praying…” Marc whispered as he stared at the key marks on his hand. 

“Marc…” A hand on his arm made him jump. She waited for him to settle back in and look at her before she continued. “Talk to me… Please.” 

Marc swallowed, then nodded and slowly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a protective hug as if she were the one that needed the comfort. 

It hit him then and he closed his eyes, hugging her tightly as he imagined that protective hold on someone else. Someone else that was in pain because he had let them down. 

“I let him get hurt… He does so much for us… For me… All I do is cause him trouble and yell at him and now it’s my fault…” Marc buried his face in her hair. 

She stroked his back and pulled him close, leaning into him as much as he let her. “It isn’t your fault. It isn’t anyone’s fault but the greedy thief, okay? No one’s mad at you. No one’s blaming you. Jake will come out when he’s ready. He doesn’t hate you, Marc.” 

“I’m sorry…” Marc mumbled into her hair. “I’m sorry I’m such an ass.” 

“Don’t apologize, I married you for your ass.” She pulled back to smile up at him to show she was joking. 

His lips twitched upwards just enough to let her know that he appreciated it. “My best feature?” 

“You know what your best feature is.” She smirked. 

He nodded for a moment then grinned. “Steven?” 

That made her snort as she stifled a laugh then shoved him back. “Come on. Finish eating so that Steven doesn’t have to deal with things later.” 

Marc sat back down and continued to eat for Steven’s sake. It was his apology for making Steven put up with his mistakes. He had to keep the body going. Just like when they were children… He had to keep it going for Steven. At least one of them had to be happy. One of them had to be safe in their own skin… 

[andydrysdalerogers]

Yours Submissively ~ Infatuation

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

A/N Taglist is open!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Intrigued

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

Personal Report 

Name: Isabella Maria Davis 

DOB: 4 July 1999 

Birthplace: Brooklyn, NY 

Education: New Jersey City University 

Status: Senior, Education Program 

Residence: 852 State St Apt 12, Jersey City 

Roommate: Delilah Stevens 

Medical: No known  

Religion: Catholic 

Employment: Intern, Stark Industries 

Family 

Mother: Maria Elizabeth Davis (deceased) 

Father: Michael Phillip Davis (deceased) 

No known siblings 

No known relations 

Relationship: Single 

Previous: unknown 

Miss Davis is a relatively quiet person.  Quiet social media presence.  It looks like there may have been a previous relationship, but the details have been scrubbed from all known databases and social media files.  

Curiously, the same can be said for the family details as well.  Her parental information is from her birth certificate, but any other traces have so far been undetected. It is as if she has been placed in a bubble.  I will continue my search.  

Steve poured over the short report that landed on his desk two days after the gala.  He knew Bucky would always be thorough but the fact that so little was known about the elusive Miss Davis just added to Steve’s infatuation of her.  He looked over the pictures provided.  Her walking into the Grant building, at the gala, walking outside of Stark.  The photos didn’t do justice to her violet eyes.  He hit the intercom. “Devon, can you have Bucky come in as soon as possible.” 

“Yes, sir.”  

Steve stood up and faced out the window.  He could see the old Avengers tower, which Stark still kept his business in.  He imagined Belle there, working hard.  He needed a reason.  He wanted a reason to see her again.  He heard a knock on his door.  “Enter.” 

Bucky came in, hands in his pocket.  “You needed to see me Cap?” 

“What is it with you and Wilson calling me names I don’t have anymore?” Steve smiled at his oldest friend.  

“You’re still in charge, just not on the battlefield.”  Bucky shrugged.  “Whatcha need punk?” 

“Miss Davis.  Have you found anything new?” 

“Possibly.  I didn’t present it yet because I’m still trying to figure it out.  You know that new intern program?”  Steve nodded.  “Natasha told me that the only name that wasn’t included on the potential transfer list was hers.”  

“What?” 

“Yeah, I was going to get into it more but Stark had made it clear to Nat that she was off limits.  Curious, don’t you think?” 

“Very.”  Steve turned back to the windows.  “When did he give the list?” 

“The morning of the gala.  Before she was here in the building.”  

“Buck, I think I need to visit Stark today.  Can you ask Devon to see if she can find out if he has time?” 

“Sure.  No problem.”  Bucky moved to exit but stopped.  “What is so special about her?” 

“I don’t know.  That’s why she’s special. I want her but I need to know she would be okay with it.”  

“You could just call her.” Bucky smirked.  

“And where would be the fun in that?” Steve returned the smirk.  

Devon managed to find a time for Steve to visit Stark.  Bucky drove him through the city, Steve lost in thought.  When he pulled up, Steve went straight in, already known to the security and staff and headed up to Stark’s office.  

Tony Stark was the owner of Stark Industries but Pepper was the CEO, a role she took seriously.  Steve knew he would have to talk to Pepper first before Tony.  He stood in front of her secretary.  “Hello. Could you let Mrs. Potts-Stark know that Steve Rogers is here to see her.”  

“Right away, sir.”  

Pepper came out a moment later.  “Steve, to what do I owe the pleasure?”  

“Hi Pepper.”  He kissed her cheek.  “I have a meeting with Tony but I already know I have to go through the real boss.”  

She laughed.  “At least one of you understand that.  Come on in.”  He walked into her office, windows around to take in the cityscape.  “What can I help you with?” 

“I saw the intern list for the transfer.  Nat is still vetting but I noticed that Belle Davis is not on the list.  I thought she was one of your interns.”  

“Really?”  Pepper moved to her computer and reviewed. “Huh.  She is not on the list but she is definitely on the intern list.  Let me see…” she clicked a few more times.  “Says here that Tony specifically requested she remain.”  Pepper looked at Steve.  “You would have to take that one up with him.”  

“I figured.  All right then.  Did you need anything from me while I’m here?” 

“Just if you are going to the education benefit next week?” 

“If I can get the date I want, sure.  If not, maybe.”  

“Steve.  You can’t avoid being in public forever,” Pepper admonishes.  

“I can try.” Steve frowned.  “I left that public part of my life, remember?  I’m not the shield anymore.”  

“But you can still wield it for a better cause.  Just, think about it ok?  We miss you around here.”  

“I miss you guys too.”  Steve hugged Pepper and headed out to the other side of the floor.  He knocked on Tony’s door and then was blasted with high volume AC/DC playing as soon as the door opened.  “Friday, mute,” Steve said.  

“No one gave you permission to stop my music, Rogers.”  Tony came from behind his desk to shake the former Captain’s hand.  

“I’m saving your hearing Tony.  So, you can listen to Pepper more often.”  

Tony waved his hand.  “What did you need Cap?”  

Steve sighed at the title but let it go.  “I wanted to know more about Isabella Davis.”  Tony snapped his head up.  “I’m starting an education internship and she mentioned she was earning her degree in education.  Her name is not on the list of interns that could be transferred.”  

“Because she isn’t available,” Tony was quick to say.  “Belle has her internship and scholarship tied with Stark Industries.  Since she is only a month and half or so away from graduation, I figured there was no need to make her a part of it.”  

“And if I offered her one?” 

“That’s up to her.”  Tony looked nervously at the door.  “Look Rogers, Belle is a sweet girl and I’m just looking out for her.”  

“I get it.  She was a great girl at the gala. If I see her, I might offer her a place.  Just a fair warning.  I leave you to whatever it is you’re doing.”  

“Sure, Steve.  Thanks for the heads up.”  

Steve exited the workroom and head towards the elevator.  Lost in thought, he barely noticed the doors opening but looked up and saw the violet eyes he had been dreaming of for the last few days.  “Miss Davis.”  

“Mr. Rogers,” Belle squeaked.  She had not been able to get him off her mind either but assumed it would fade with time.  After she ran, Tony had called and asked if everything was ok.  She lied and said she was feeling ill, not wanting Tony to think there had been a problem with Steve.  

“May I have a moment of your time Miss Davis?”  She nodded and he gently guided her back into the elevator.  It started to move but he pushed the emergency stop.  “You ran,” he said simply.  

“I, uhh…” Belle didn’t know what to say.  

“It’s ok Isabella.  I didn’t say anything to anyone.” Steve tried to reassure her. “I’m here because I wanted to offer you an opportunity.”  

“At what?” 

“I’m starting an education focused internship.  You mentioned at the gala how you were in the education field and I figured you would have some insight on it.”  

“Well, Mr. Stark already asked me to stay on as his personal intern for the remainder of the school year. It gives me time to finish my thesis for graduation.”  

“Oh.”  Steve tried not to look crestfallen.  “Well, if you have an idea on how I could structure it or well any ideas on how I can help in the education field please let me know.  Or if you change your mind.”  He took out his card and handed it to her.  

She looked at the business card.  “You could start a teacher outreach,” she whispered.  

“What was that?” 

“A teacher outreach.”  Belle looked up.  “Did you know that most teachers pay for school supplies out of their own pockets?  Maybe you can help with that.”  

Steve smiled. “I could do that.  Thank you, Isabella.  I’ll let you get back to work.”  He released the emergency stop and the doors opened again. Belle exited and turned back when he said, “I hope I can see you again.”  

“Why?” 

“Because you intrigue me, Isabella. And I want to get to know you.”  Steve gave her a heart stopping smile and the elevator doors closed.  

NEXT

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