#and yes nana feet for free you’re welcome

[yuutaguro]

summertime magic ☀️

ive been working on some donations prompts via jjkaisenaction over on twitter (they’re still taking donations till the 31st or you can also claim a free prompt 😉)

[mi6-cafe]

THE FINAL DRABBLES ARE IN!

COME READ THEM AND DECIDE WHOSE IS THE BEST, BETTER THAN ALL THE REST!

But first, what was the prompt again?

Our writers had to use the phrase “be careful what you fish for” in their 300-word drabbles verbatim. 

See the drabbles below the line and VOTE!

(Image description: James Bond off on a fishing expedition)

But how, mods, how do we vote? you ask.

Step 1: Read the drabbles, making notes along the way.

Step 2: Pick three favourites and vote for them in the VOTING FORM while adding feedback for others if you so choose!

Step 3: Profit! (Because it’s all anonymous and even the writers you didn’t vote for end up getting your lovely feedback and it makes them so happy!)

You have until Sunday at 8:59 9.m. PST/11:59 p.m. EST/3:59 a.m. UTC to cast your vote.

Now, come READ&VOTE! (You can also read on wordpress for nicer formatting)

#1

Title: Compliments Author: sunaddicted Warnings: explicit flirting Summary: Q wasn't expecting to hear such a compliment

Seeing Silva bent down over his computer still sent a thrill down Q's spine; despite the fact that the man had become a more or less permanent fixture in Q-Branch, it didn't mean that the adrenaline kick he got out of facing the former rogue agent had gotten any weaker.  

"That's some of my best work."

"Is it."

Q swallowed as he went to stand by the other man, peering down at the lines of code that Silva was studying with the kind of keen eye that made Q squirm, feeling naked even when Silva was looking at his work rather than directly at him.

Though, what was his work if not an extension of his being?

"Are you fishing for compliments, Quartermaster?"

Saying his title in such a caressing and satiny voice should have been made illegal. "Do I need to?" Q tried to ignore the hint of neediness in his voice, even as the flush he could feel blooming up his neck surely betrayed him. He couldn't help it: in his life, he had only met a man who was his equal - better, he had only met a man who could code circles around him, pushing him to do better; to think faster; to outgrow himself. It was exciting.

Raoul slowly turned around, a smirk already painted on his lips. "You have a great arse I would like to bend over this sturdy desk of yours."

"Wh- what?!"

The blonde bent down, lips ghosting against the shell of Q's ear in a caress that was barely there. "Be careful what you fish for, Quartermaster," Silva reached down and closed his hand on the other's hip in a steadying manner, fingers digging into the jutting bone there "You never know what kind of compliment will get thrown your way."

#2

Title: A Fine Kettle Author: Anyawen Warnings: none Summary: LIke shooting fish in a barrel, really.

"This isn't what I had in mind when I said I needed an exit," Bond groused as his feet squelched in his ruined shoes. He'd never get the stink of fish out of this suit. He'd be lucky to scrub it off his skin.

"Well, you know what they say, 007. Be careful what you fish for," Q said, snorting at his own joke as Bond groaned.

"Don't even start, Q," Bond growled. Well. Tried to growl. If it came out as an amused whine Q was polite enough not to call attention to it.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Q said primly. "I found you an exit and left your adversaries floundering. You didn't even pull a mussel."

"I've endured torture more pleasant than—"

"Stop your carping; you’re giving me a haddock."

Bond inhaled slowly. Exhaled.

"What will it take to make you stop?"

"You'll have to shell out more than a few clams."

"Q," Bond begged. Yes. Begged. And yet, he knew that if he were standing in front of a mirror right now his reflection would be grinning. Q's jokes were terrible, and his puns were worse, but hearing him so lost in his amusement was a glorious thing.

"Bring all of your gear back for a start. No losing or breaking anything just for the halibut."

"I'll do my best," Bond promised.

"And dinner."

"I beg your pardon?" Bond asked, shocked. He'd been asking the Quartermaster to dinner for weeks.

"You need time to mullet over. That's fine. Just let minnow."

"Yes, Q. Obviously, yes."

"Excellent. I'm thinking sushi."

Bond couldn't help the laugh that slipped out. He could hear Q's smug grin.

"Just squidding," Q said, then hurried to add, "About the sushi. Not about dinner. And dessert. And afters."

"Afters?"

"Cuttles."

#3

Title: Retrieval Author: stormofsharpthings Warnings: none Summary: Q knew it had never been about her

Q came upon Dr Madeleine Swann serenely fishing from the riverbank. “Got one,” she announced, before handing the rod to him and walking away. Bemused, Q tugged, and the fish leapt from the murky river into his hand, scales flowing like water to engulf his entire arm. Face to face, it gave him a toothy grin.

“Be careful what you fish for,” it snickered as the trees around him exploded with gobbets of blue flame. Q dove into the river to escape and was dragged deeper, drowning, webbed hands holding him tight.

He flailed awake to a bed stained green with murky water, strands of river weed draped about. The windows were wide open, moonlight making the wet marks on the floor glisten.

“James?” he whispered. There was no answer. Not since James had taken the damn car and driven off. But there had been enough clues.

----

He took the river road, heading north. Every bridge was washed-out, every access to his destination blocked. He finally came upon an old-style ferry, its raft drawn along a heavy cable strung across the river.

The old raftman eyed him, then shrugged. Halfway across, the raft slowed as if hung up on something. The ferryman cursed and stamped his boot on the boards. As the raft drifted free again, he gave Q a wry look. “Hope you know what you’re about, lad.”

----

The waterhorse waited for him at the loch edge, burning eyes watching him warily as he approached.

“I never believed you left for her,” he said, tangling his hands in the wet mane. “And all the warnings of all the fair folk in the world couldn't keep me away.” He swung astride and held on. “You can either drown me or come home with me, James. It’s up to you, now.”

#4

Title: Gone Fishing Author: Hexiva Warnings: None Summary: Alec is just trying to have a nice vacation. James has other plans.

Alec is fishing. He’s taken some much-needed vacation time after a knife to the leg on his last mission, and he’s chosen to go to Jamaica, in part because of how James’ face falls when he learns Alec is going without him. James loves Jamaica. Alec, for his part, loves having anything that James can’t have. The sky is blue. The ocean is a beautiful shade of blue-green. Alec lets his line dangle down into the warm water, and leans back in his boat with a sigh of contentment. And then the peace of the summer day is shattered as the water erupts, and a black-clad figure in scuba gear surges up out of the sea, gasping, and clambers into Alec’s boat, almost upsetting it. Alec’s hand flies to his gun, but before he can draw it, the diver pulls off his mask and reveals James’ familiar face. James is bruised and bleeding, and he gasps out, “Near miss. Good thing you were here.” “What the hell are you doing here?!” Alec demands. “I’m on vacation, James!” “Underwater base,” James explains, pointing down into the depths of the ocean. “Spying on our submarines. Blew it up and escaped.” “How do you do it, James?” Alec says, acidly. “How is it that no matter where you go - no matter where I go - there always seems to be some madman with an increasingly improbable scheme gunning for you? Can’t I have one vacation to myself?” It’s not James’ company he minds. It’s that this was supposed to be something he could take away from James. A chance to one-up the always charming James Bond. “Well, Alec,” James said, leaning in with his charming smile. “You know what they say. Be careful what you fish for.” “I hate you,” Alec said, with feeling.

#5

Title: Dare to Wish Author: sorion Warnings: none Summary: A very nice welcome-home.  

"Are you going to put away that blasted machine?" Bond asked, not even looking away from his skilled cooking.  

"Hm?" Q hummed distractedly, not ceasing his typing.  

"Your laptop, darling," Bond complained, making 'darling' sound more like a demand than an endearment.   "Hm." The typing never faltered.  

Bond reduced the heat on one of the other pans that he was juggling on the stove. "I was gone for over a month," he grumbled. "I even dared to hope that you were looking forward to seeing me again."  

Q smiled, and the typing slowed. "One minute, and I'll be all yours, and yet you'll still be giving your attention to our dinner."  

Bond couldn't help but grin. "What's so terribly important anyway?"  

"Oh, just some matter of national security that I'd like off the table before we eat."  

Bond laughed. "Bare feet, unbuttoned shirt, and saving the world. A marvel, you are."  

"One step up from working in my pyjamas," Q quipped.  

Bond sighed. "I'm never going to live that down, am I? What about the incident where you basically plugged Silva into our network?"  

Q pulled a face. "That was... my first week as Q, and I desperately wanted to prove myself, and I may have-"  

"Q," Bond interrupted. "I won't let you live it down, but I'm not holding it against you."  

Q smiled. "Thanks. I do, on very rare occasions, get insecure."  

"There's no need. Everyone knows how brilliant you are. And there's no need to be fishing for compliments."  

"Not tonight. I'm just... fishing for affection."  

His typing instantly stopped when a small box of unmistakable shape was put in front of him.  

Bond caught his eyes and smiled. "Be careful what you fish for."  

Q's breath stuck in his throat, and his eyes lit up. "Never."

#6

Title: A Fishy Companion Author: Nana-chan Warnings: Summary: Bond makes friends with a merman

“Bond,” said the creature, his tone quite serious.

Bond merely grunted as he continued to mend his nets. He would not even look at the creature as he swam around him in the shallow water, his movements graceful. A bloody merman, for god’s sake. He’d found him tangled in his nets after a fishing expedition some way from the island and the merman, having been rescued, refused to leave Bond’s side ever since.

Now he queried: “Why is the fisherman so stingy?”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me whether I want to hear it or not,” said Bond brusquely.

The merman replied, “Because his work made him sell-fish.”

Bond closed his eyes briefly. He’d been a double-O agent— a bloody good one— once upon a time. So long ago, it seemed. Retirement on this remote Caribbean island, in a wooden house with its own small pier, had been something he’d dreamed of, until retirement became more like exile and solitude gave way to loneliness.

Until this.

Bond found himself smiling despite himself as the merman persisted, “Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?”

“I don’t know. Why did he?”

“Pier pressure.”

The merman was beautiful, with dark hair and large green eyes that gazed into his rather owlishly. For reasons of his own, he’d named him Q.

Bond looked away. “I think I need a massage,” he said, wincing as he flexed his biceps.

“Have you heard about the Sauna that serves food?” Q piped up. “Their specialty is steamed mussels.”

“Why you—” Bond laughed before he could stop himself. “I ought to have left you in the nets. That might have made you less talkative.”

The merman swam up to him and settled his head boldly on his lap.

“Be careful what you fish for,” said Q, smiling.

#7

Title: Go Fish Author: soufflegirl91 Warnings: adult humour Summary: Q Branch tech must be recovered no matter where the double-ohs lose it.

“Another bloody spoon,” Bond complained, releasing it from the magnet and tossing it on the pile building up at his feet. “How do people even lose spoons in a lake?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the same way you lose proprietary weaponry?”

“Q, for the last time, I didn’t-”

“Can we get any closer to the middle?” Q cut him off, tapping a few times on his tablet screen. “Maybe if we start at the deepest point and move outwards?”  

Bond sighed, dropping the line back into the boat with a clatter. He pulled the engine cord, and with a roar, they were moving.

“THIS SHOULD DO,” Q yelled over the din.

Bond brought them to a stop, but Q didn’t wait for the engine to die down before continuing:

“I’VE ACTIVATED THE HOMING BEACON. THE LAKE’S DEEPER THAN I’D LIKE, BUT I SHOULD GET A SIGNAL ONCE WE’RE-” the engine died down with a final splutter, leaving Q yelling, “DIRECTLY OVER IT - oh.”

“You don’t get out on the water much, do you?” Bond quirked a grin at his flustered Quartermaster, flinging out the line on the starboard side.

“I wouldn’t have to get out on the water at all, if you didn’t go throwing away rocket launchers like they were crisp packets. Bond, what are you doing? I haven’t got a signal, yet.”

“Signal or not, I’ve caught something.”

Bond pulled on the Q-branch reinforced line, trying to reel it in. Whatever the line had caught, it was heavy. Finally, his catch cleared the water line.

He stared.

“Is that a tentacle dil-?”

“Well, you know what they say,” Q cut in.

He giggled. Giggled. Bond had a terrible feeling he knew what was coming next.

“No. Don’t you dare say it.”

“Be careful what you fish for!”

#8

Title: Do I Really Want To Know? Author: IrishWitch58 Warnings: none Summary: Mallory contemplates a recent mission and the behavior of agent and Quartermaster.

Mallory hadn't gotten to his present position without understanding the value of differing approaches to acquiring information. There were circumstances when a simple question was all that was required. There were others when a figurative bludgeon was necessary. That was more often the case when he had someone dead to rights and just wanted an admission. But when something was more delicate, a search for something he suspected but hadn't been able to prove, he needed the skills of a wily fisherman tricking a trout out from under a rock to rise to the bait.

It was unacceptable that his Quartermaster and 007 had gone off coms for eighteen hours. True, the mission was completed, but Bond's bad habits seemed to have rubbed off on Q. Interviewing both had been useless. 'Yes', 'no' and 'equipment failure' were the sum of the responses. Utterly respectful but complete obstruction from both.

They were hiding something and he was worried. Certainly, disloyalty was possible but he had thought better of both of them. There was a chime from his computer and he glanced at the incoming message from accounting. “Can we have some clarification on these charges, please? Uncertain whether these are mission related.”

Mallory scanned the receipts. A moderately expensive hotel suite, room service, and a concierge fee for a trip to a chemist. All charged to one of Bond's aliases. On impulse he called the hotel. Five minutes later he ended the call and stared at the phone. Well, better than treachery certainly but still, Bond and Q? The concierge had found the couple charming and was sure they were a couple. Be careful what you fish for. Now what was he supposed to do? Better that they hadn't admitted anything. He didn't have to act if he didn't officially know.

#9

Title: Shark Bait Author: Venstar / 1amvengeance Warnings: violence? People dedding Summary:  what would you do for those you love?

Bond swam to the ladder access of the dock. A creak of the boards and he froze in place. He swung himself up, his movement was swift and deadly. The guard dropped as suddenly as he had appeared. Bond rolled him into the water. Through the mist, he could just barely make out the tip of a fin. He smiled. It was cold, calculating, and lacking in teeth.

“Almost there.” Bond smiled as a soft breath was let out over comms. “Were you worried?”

“About you or my mortgage and two cats? Because if you live, then maybe M won’t find out about this.”

This time Bond’s smile was wide and bright. “I’m glad we agree then.” 

Bond cut a slit through his wetsuit until he could see his skin underneath. Slightly tan with a smattering of darker freckles. Was that a new mole? Maybe he should have it checked out. Too late. Blood welled up from where the mole had been. He grimaced.

“Bond? What are you doing?”

“Chumming the water.” He heard Q’s sharp intake of breath at the sound of him re-entering the water.

“Bond. This is the worst idea on the list of bad ideas.”

“I know what I’m doing, Q. Moving in, now.”

Silence from the other end as Q listened to him work. He slid through the water, coming up just under the opening of the warehouse. He pulled himself out, his eyes on his targets. He spared one glance for his lover, hoping that Felix could keep the two men distracted enough for him to...yes...to do that. The two men were tossed cut and bleeding into the dark water behind him. Their shouts of surprise turned into screams of pain and terror.

"Be careful what you fish for." Bond murmured, smiling at Felix.

#10

Title: Witnessed Author: oldestcharm Warnings: n/a Summary: James observes Q's methods. It pays off. Q is flexible. He can play an agent like a fiddle. Any time, any place. He knows exactly how to approach his agents — something James is rather impressed by. He'll let them stew for half an hour when necessary; he'll cosy up to them, all charm and innocence; or play up the socially inept IT intern. Sometimes, he gets mean. James particularly likes that part of Q. Whichever it is, though, Q's got them all wrapped around his long capable fingers. James can't look away. He hears from 002 about the 'banger of a DnD game' she apparently raked in the loot for. He also learns about the Deck of Many Things. It's surprisingly accurate for whatever happens next.

009 loses a chess match and gets equipped with a tractor instead of the Jeep he'd requested, although it goes 300 mph and has multiple cannons attached.

005 fails a coin toss and gains a squirt gun full of holy water for her mission at the Vatican. With a quirk of a smile, Q suggests Russian Roulette to Alec. He wins, but just barely.

Q equips his agents with the bare necessities, but unlike his predecessor, they all have to earn the goods. Q's gambling and James is determined to get his own. Q, ever the gentleman, asks what he's willing to play.

"Let's Go Fishin'," James tells him and just for a second Q looks startled. James' lips twitch into a reluctant smile.

"Be careful what you fish for," Q tells him, voice low and enticing. James leans forward, distracted.

"I win," Q says, eyes alight with excitement.

"It's a draw," James corrects, hoping his exhaustion won't show. Q's gaze grows sharp.

On his next mission, James finds an exploding pen in the inside pocket of his suit jacket.

#11

Title: To Fish or Not to Fish Author: scarytheory Warnings: none Summary: Someone is sending weird presents to Q. He needs to figure out who that someone is.

The mug was ugly. Big, brown, and with a ceramic trout holding a plate “I fish you very much!” engraved in bold letters. It wasn’t the only thing that had been anonymously sent to Q for his birthday this week (other items included cheap chocolate and a teddy bear).

“This is getting ridiculous. Who would give me something so hideous?”

“You know what they say – be careful what you fish for!”

“That’s… not what they say.”

James smirked, obviously happy with himself.

Q continued: “Can you at least pretend that you’re jealous? It used to be you, sending me obnoxious gifts!”

“Don’t act like you thought it was romantic now, you hated it.”

He did. But he still had all the awful trinkets that James had sent him from missions before his retirement. They were displayed in his office, he couldn't force himself to throw them away. Maybe he was sentimental, after all.

“Perhaps it’s from a criminal who wants to infiltrate the MI6,” Q wondered.

James laughed. “I can guarantee you that it’s not a villain, the gifts are indeed from the heart.”

Of course he had something to do with it!

“And you can’t just tell me?”

“Nah. Let minnow when you figure it out!.”

“James, this was a terrible pun, even for you.”

“It’s not kraken you up?”

Truly not.

The question was who could send him these kinds of gifts? It seemed that they weren’t from some admirer either, seeing as James didn’t feel threatened. On the contrary, he was amused.

“Oh my God!”

Suddenly he knew. And it was horrifying.

“It’s from my mum.”

James grinned: “I love that woman. She understands that fish puns are fin-tastic!”

With horror, Q realised that against his better judgment, he had ended up marrying his own mother.

#12

Title: One Hell of a Strange Fish Author: Misha / artsytarts Warnings: none, just lols Summary: Fishing at lake Erie can be more exciting than you think. 

Felix sighed happily as he sat on his little bench in his little boat and let his mind wander. Bliss like this was hard to come by. A weekend of fishing, peace and relaxation was awaiting him and there was nothing that could spoil it.

Just as he’d finished the thought, a sudden tug at his fishing rod almost made him topple over the rim of his boat. Felix caught himself and cursed, put his feet down and with all his strength, he started reeling in the gigantic fish. It was putting up one hell of a fight. Gritting his teeth, Felix pulled and pulled, until, with an almighty splash, it broke the surface and screamed, just as the hook zinged past Felix’ ear.

Wait… Screamed?

Felix blinked.

“What do you think you’re doing, you bloody idiot!!” the man, not fish, exclaimed and ripped his diving mask off. He glared daggers at Felix, who still stood poised with his rod in hand.

Then the man frowned. “Felix?” he said incredulously.

“James?!”

“What on earth are you doing up there?”

“Me?! What are you doing down there?!”

James huffed, paddling against the water. “I asked first.”

“Well, I’m on holiday.” Felix held up the evidence. “Fishing trip. What about you?”

“Assignment,” James answered simply.

The mental image of a mushroom cloud above lake Erie filled Felix’ head. “Hell. Should I be worried?”

“Not particularly,” James said. “Anyway, should get going. Nice chatting with you.”

“Hold on, James, what –”

“Next time… Be careful what you fish for!” James called out, shoved his mouthpiece back between his teeth and submerged.

“Did you just…” Felix began, but James was already gone.

With a sigh, Felix let himself fall back into his seat and rubbed his forehead. They had to stop meeting like this.

#13

Title: Gone Fishing Author: Merc / the moon of mercury Warnings: none Summary: sometimes Bond prefers not to talk about his missions.

“Now you’re just preening,” Q says, rolling his eyes for dramatic effect. “Fishing for compliments. Really, Double-O-Seven, must you always make such a show of everything?”

Bond shrugs and finishes straightening his tie, not bothering to argue. He had been admiring his own reflection on the window of the newly painted DB10.

“Quite a dashing image, if I do say so myself. That’s the point, isn’t it? It’s the Geneva Motor Show, no one’s going to take me for a collector if I don’t look the part. What do you think?”

“I’m not the one you need to convince. All I care about is that you get the job done and bring back my car in one piece.”

“Why so grumpy, Q? I’d hoped you’d at least extend the sentiment to my person besides the car. And maybe wish me good luck? I have a feeling this one won’t be easy.”

“Bollocks, you’re going to seduce her, get the intel, and spectacularly blow things up. All of which you invariably accomplish every time. So, off you go and lay your bait. But please, do me a favour and think of the poor car while you’re at it.”

*     *

Q is right. The rich widow falls for his charms, spills her secrets, and buildings explode. Even the Aston survives. A success, all things considered.

Still, it takes him a week after returning to London to face his Quartermaster. The ugly love bites have faded and the overwhelming stench of perfume is nothing but an unpleasant memory. But Q has recordings of the events that went down in her boudoir, and Bond knows for sure he won't let it go.

Unfortunately, his foresight proves right.

“Be careful what you fish for,” he quips the moment Bond steps in, dissolving into laughter.

#14

Title: Look at the Bright Side Author: MrKsan / starrboned Warnings: none Summary: The Quartermaster's job is never easy.

When Bill entered the office, it was dark and quiet. Q sat slumped, painted pale blue under the light of the computer screen.

“Q?” Bill whispered, unsure what he stepped into.

Q looked up, blinking slowly.

“Bill. What are you doing here?”

Bill approached the desk, turning on the lamp. Q flinched from the light, like the sleep-deprived vampire that he was.

“It’s midnight, Q.” Tanner sighed, taking in the wide eyes and the dark shadows under them. “Bond came back hours ago. Why are you still here?"

Q blinked. Bill could almost hear the gears turning in his head.

Christ.

Q pushed a glass bowl from behind the screen. The water inside sloshed wildly from the sharp movement, stirring awake the creature inside.

“It's a... fish?"

“Bond brought it,” Q said. He glared at the fish like it's the source of all of his problems.

“He got you a fish?”

“No,” Q said, eyes narrowing. “He brought back the micro-sized, water-proofed, indestructible hard drive made especially for this mission, containing all the stolen information M asked for."

Bill glanced back at the fish. The fish, who had very sharp teeth inside its slightly gaping mouth.

“Is the hard drive -”

“It's inside the damn piranha!" Q hissed, smacking his head on the table.

Bill couldn't help it.

"Be careful what you fish for, huh?” He said, earning a sharp stare from under the dark mop of curls.

“At least he brought back the equipment this time,” Bill said, smiling apologetically. “Come on, you won’t get anything done by glaring at the fish.”

Q sighed, heavily, but took Bill’s offered hand and stumbled to a stand.

“At least it’s not a komodo dragon this time,“ Q said, as they stepped into the empty parking lot.

Bill couldn't help but laugh.

#15

Title: Cracked Author: solarmorrigan Warnings: n/a Summary: Bond and Q bring down a villain and have a few laughs.

Waves lapped at the sand, offering a gentle, rhythmic backbeat to the sounds of a madman’s island base crashing down in flames.

Bond and Q stood side by side on the beach, each sooty, disheveled, and soaked to the bone. They were sporting various bumps and bruises, some scrapes and burns, but they were pleased with themselves, nonetheless. It had been a grueling few days’ work, filled with more fire, gunplay, and close encounters with sharks and other sharp-toothed marine life than Q was usually comfortable with, but they’d done good work. Yet another villainous plot soundly foiled.

“Well,” Q sighed, “I suppose it’s true what they say.”

“What’s that, Q?” Bond asked idly.

Snickering preemptively, Q answered, “Be careful what you fish for.”

The expected eye-roll and long-suffering sigh never came. Instead, Bond’s expression went curiously blank, before a smile cracked over his face and he began to laugh. It started as a small chuckle before morphing into true, shoulder-shaking amusement, and Q’s own smile slid away in alarm. The joke wasn’t that funny – not that Bond ever laughed at his puns to begin with.

“Oh god, did you sustain head trauma while I wasn’t looking?” Q demanded, his fingers twitching towards Bond’s scalp.

Bond shook his head, still chuckling lightly. “I’m fine, Q. In fact… I’m fintastic.”

In spite of the suspicious anxiety churning in Q’s chest, he couldn’t help it; the pun was so terrible, so ill-timed, so entirely out of place, that Q had to laugh. “Oh, that’s it,” he gasped between giggles, “you’ve finally cracked.”

“I’m fine, Q,” Bond said again, then leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of Q’s smiling mouth before giving him a small shove in the direction of their getaway boat. “Now let’s get out of here.”

*****

GO VOTE!

[h-e-l-l-b-r-o-k-e]

Poppies [B.H. x you]

Request:

Inspiration: It’s No Reason by The Church

Word Count: 2750  Warnings: reference of abuse and angst.

Written Date: 1/20-3/10/2020 Posted Date: 3/10/2020

[MASTERLIST]

August 12. Sunday. 11:56 a.m.

After a couple days of trailing after his father and his new little family in their Chevy truck, Billy pulled up in front of the place they’d now be calling home. Billy’s bones ached from sitting for a prolonged period of time and his eyelids had been heavy from the constant blare of the sun, and yet he thought their new humble abode was just about the ugliest thing he’d ever seen. With several window panes bordering a sun parlour and a low roof that suggested the lack of stairs inside, Billy knew it was totally Susan’s style and not something his father would have picked out had it just been him and his teenage son.

The sun parlour was meant for Susan’s obsession with lilies and begonias. There would soon be a wooden bench with flowered cushions just for her to perch on with one of her many melodramatic books about gossip and heartbreak. And with only one story to worry about, Susan would silence her chirps about stupid superstitions about staircases and ladders as if staircases and ladders were the same thing. Yes, he could see it all so clearly.

Billy felt drowsy, but he wasn’t blind. He knew all about the intentions his father had when purchasing this house, beside the new job opportunity, before reaching for the handle of his Camaro. The daintiness of the house, the seclusion of moving across country, was all just a ploy to keep another woman from slipping through his father’s aching embrace. His father couldn’t control Billy’s free spirited mother, so he chased after a much more timid woman who his ex-co-worker cheated on. Susan just so happened to already have a child his father hadn’t known about ‘til it was too late.

Walking up to the front door just a beat behind his father and the two redheads, and just about ready for a twelve-hour nap, Billy somehow picked up on the flutter of lavish curtains of lace and chintz from the house next door.

A peeping neighbor was curious about them, yet his father was much more interested in the plants rooted beneath the neighbor’s window.

“What the hell are those things?”

“I think they’re flowers,” Max threw in her two cents.

With a small, soft turn of her lips, Susan added, “I’m sure they’ll be absolutely beautiful once they bloom.”

Billy will already half-forgotten this exchange of meaningless words meant to fill in the silence and the curious shadow of his new neighbor until…

October 3. Wednesday. 2:31 a.m.

Sweat accumulated on his forehead as Billy awoke with a start. His sheets stuck against hist bare limbs as a hazy memory of an ocean wave toppling over him and a blurred smile clouded his vision. Yet, getting up, he managed to locate his lighter in the strewn jeans he’d worn the day before and place a fresh cigarette between his lips and another behind his ear before sneaking past dad and Susan’s bedroom.

His palms were clammy and chills prickled his arm hair as he stepped out into the night. Standing in the center of the cement path in sleep shorts and a T-shirt, he figured the cigarettes he planned on having would be enough to take his mind off the old breeze and old memories.

Except, he hadn’t planned on having an audience.

She was sitting on the steps of the next door porch. Knees jutted out in front of her, arms tucked across her midsection, and eyes already set on him.

Billy only knew a couple things about her. She and her grandparents were his neighbors, she went to school with him, and she flinched…embarrassingly a lot.

Stubbing out his half-burned cigarette, Billy retreated back inside away from the girl, but not before glancing at the plants his father wouldn’t quit pestering everyone about.

Nothing about them had changed. Still green and still very ugly.

October 16. Tuesday. 2:10 a.m.

Days snail by and the weather has remained stagnant, yet again Billy found himself venturing outside before the bird could sing. His mattress had felt too lumpy against the ridges of his spine and the sheets too tampered to find any peace. And there she was again for the fourth time in the past thirteen days, burning holes into the moisture of the patchy lawn before her.

The cold shoulder was a kick to the shin. Billy’d grown accustomed to the thought of having someone to share the cleansing breeze of sorrow they didn’t plan on speaking of. Billy had the idea that he couldn’t be the only one whose demons kept him from snuggling under the covers and drifting off until the alarm clock said so. No one in their right mind found peace in the shadows of orange street lamps without worse occurrences taking place behind doors…or the insides of skulls.

So, he found himself scrounging through the block of ice that’s never been broken through, not even after the welcoming block party. Not when this girl’s “papa” borrowed his father’s lawnmower. Not when Susan and “nana” swapped pot roast recipes. And, definitely not when she came over with a textbook held against her chest to tutor Max at their dining table.

“You make this a habit or something?”

Her delicate eyelids fluttered before she realized Billy’s figure stood in front of her, scuffing his sneakers at the gravel.

His eyes long adjusted to the dim glow of the street lamp, he studied the ribbon struggling to hold on to her hair and the oversized jacket that swallowed her frame. She was still wearing the same outfit from the day before. He only knew because she had been guiding Max through a couple practice problems while he was curling weights to MTV after school.

“You one of them ‘watch the sunrise’ type of gals or something?”

Hooking the stretched sleeves of her sweater over her thumbs, she responded, “Sometimes.”

Within the frame of a breath, Billy had taken a seat beside her on the steps while his hands rested in his pockets, resisting the urge to comment on the leap of her shoulders. It was easy, he managed to wire his lips shut last night when his father had halted her from walking out their front door without the ten dollars she earned from tutoring. Her chin had tucked into her chest with the flicker of her lids before the older Hargrove shoved the bill into her clammy palms.

“Isn’t it kind of early for that?”

She shrugged, failing to convince anyone, even herself, that there wasn’t a care in her bones.

“Do your grandparents know you come out here?” They reminded Billy of his own grandparents, the ones who’d welcomed him with warm biscuits and a spare bed just before his father tore him away from his last shred of contentment.

“Do your parents know you do the same?” she retorted.

“Touché.”

Billy stayed next to her, never brushing against her for fear of sending her running back into the house, for a few moments longer before getting back up.

Glancing down at her, he motioned towards his house. “I should go, you know, before my dad wakes and freaks.”

She nodded twice. “Okay.”

The weight of his shoulders dragged him down just a little bit more as he spared her another glance before shoving his hands in his pockets and trekking back home. He never stayed outside for long, usually only for the span of a burning cigarette or two. Never as long as her, who’d already be out there far before frost greets his skin and who’d remain out there long after he fell back in the abyss of his bed.

And right before he silently jiggled the pestilent doorknob, he noticed that those odd, not-yet-ready, flowers were beginning to crack open like the release of bubbles from clams.

October 18. Thursday. 3:47 a.m.

Another forty-eight hours passed, a full moon encompassed the dark sky and she was still wearing the same loose sweater he’d seen her in outside of fourth period. The flimsy material still threatened to slip off her shoulders and fall in a red pool around her feet. The bags beneath her downcast eyes contrasted further against the skin of her cheeks, yet she agreed to join him on a walk with him without much convincing.

It was just a stroll around their expansive block, and her top lip hardly separated from its thicker sister while twin arms remained crisscrossed around her ribs like Greek ancient pillars. Billy hadn’t expected anything more for she never really made attempt in being friendly with him nor he with her, not when the street lamps sat cold beneath the sun.

So, when her steps came to a close despite only having twenty-seven cement blocks to go before reaching their neighboring homes, muttering, “It’s not you,” Billy stumbled on his own feet. Yet, she fished forth, steadying him with the softness of her palms. and he gave her a simple nod, “I get it.”

The smile didn’t cut into the plush pillows of her cheeks, creating denudation, but the prudent glaze of her pupils softened. “Not a lot of people do.”

The stroll continued in silence, and skipping over his house Billy walked her to her porch. She climbed the three steps, with an appreciative set of eyes, about to twist the knob and enter the shadowed mass of her grandparents’ timely living room, but Billy spoke.

“Can I ask you something?”

Glancing over the red cotton of her shoulder, she responded, “What?”

His foot settled on the first step, “What’s keeping you?”

She fully faced him with her arms down her sides. “What do you mean?”

He ascended those steps with his hands in his pockets, always in his pockets around her vicinity. “You’re always out here. Cold, shivering, instead of in there,” he nodded towards her front door, “warm, maybe with a teddy bear or two. What’s keeping you from your bed?”

“Nothing in there, I love papa and nana.” She shrugged, lowering her head before settling on “It’s complicated.” She sucked in a deep breath between her teeth, “Thanks for walking me home, Billy,” and retreated, softly closing the door on him.

October 22. Monday. 4:03 a.m.

Billy wiped at the beaded moisture on his upper lip before resting his head on his hands. The dream itself vanished upon the flicker of his lids, leaving behind only fragments of images. A dazzling smile. A wave crashing over. But his semi-conscious brain grasped at the emotions the dream had stirred. It was the same thing over and over again.

Shrugging on a crumpled jacket from the floor and slipping on a pair of sneakers, Billy creeped down the hallway towards the front door with ease. After all the interrupted nights in this new house, he knew which floorboards creaked and strained under his stature. Anything that could give him an advantage around his father he took mental notes of.

He didn’t expect to find her sitting on the single step in front of his door or expect to see a bounce in her race to stand on her two feet when he made his appearance. The door softly clicked behind him.

“I was hoping you’d show up.” She spoke gently.

Even her expression wasn’t so pitiful or down in the dumps. Her jaw sat relaxed with parted lips. A sense of wonder had swept every unshed tear in her lashes and the caution that was so natural in her stare. Billy even took notice of her short tennis skirt and the slouch socks that accompanied her white sneakers and how she resembled a cheery teenaged girl for once, like a girl-next-door should be.

“What’s going on?” he asked her, glancing east and west end of the neighborhood.

“I have something to tell you,” she guided a confused Billy down the cement step and across their moist lawns until they stopped in front of the main window of her house. “Look. The poppies finally bloomed.”

And they did. Those ridiculous green bulbs that stuck out like a wallflower among a popular crowd were no longer that but…nice little flowers with graceful necks and blushing petals. Poppies, so that’s what these buggers were all along.

“See? They aren’t so ugly are they?” She glanced up at him with a playful expression. Her lips quirked and an eyebrow raised.

“I never said anything.” His muscular arms crossed against his chest.

A huff of quiet laughter released under her breath. “No, but I’ve heard your dad say a thing or two. He’s not very quiet.”

He stilled and the playful banter isn’t so fun anymore. “You can hear him?”

Her head dropped to her chest and the hair behind her ears fell free. “Sometimes.”

Fists fall to his sides, clenching, and he hides them in his pockets like he usually does around her. And, yet, embarrassment spread a fire across his face. It wasn’t her fault that these houses were so old their walls appeared paper thin. It wasn’t her fault his dad found a reason to express his disappointment in his son every chance he got nor raise his palms with quick ease. Life just freaking sucked sometimes.

But, he didn’t want her thinking he was angry at her or anything because she overheard a scuffle or two. By spending what little time with her after sunlight, he knew her more than any other person at their school did. He knew she couldn’t sleep without demons sinking their claws into her skin and dragging her through mud, like him. They were far past formalities.

Fingers tickled her palm before lacing together with her own, and she realized Billy was holding her hand.

“Poppies, you said?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“They’re,” he cleared imaginary lint from his throat, “nice.”

“I grew them myself,” she offered. “I found out the first bouquet papa gave to nana were poppies.”

“Really?” His soft gaze fell on her.

She nodded once more with a pull at her lip before returning the look.

One day she’d tell him about the anxiousness that gnawed on her scalp as the date of her father’s release draws near. She’d tell him how his own father’s forced acts of kindness reminded her of her own whenever one of his work pals would come over to watch the game. She’d tell him that she’d only been living with her grandparents for a little less than four years. She was originally from out of state, where the clouds didn’t hold the sky hostage. One day she’d tell him that there was a time when her papa and nana only knew what she looked like based on a photo in their album when she was only 13 months old. That her father was sent to prison after Coach Annie spotted a trail of blue smudges trailing towards her shoulder. How a scar from a scolding iron on her thigh was discovered after that.

Billy’s thumb brushed over her cold knuckles once more as he gazed upon the warm hues of the poppies, and she felt that one day she could tell him everything.

A/N: So sorry about the super long wait for this request! >.<

[susieskinner93]

Robert Sugden Week 2020

Day 7 - Free choice 

At the age of 5, Seb didn’t know much, but he had a feeling that his family was… special. One day a man turned up, saying that he knew him when he was a baby, and he brought lots of pictures to prove it. He said he knew his dad as well. His dad… he knew nothing about. Because no matter how many times he asked, his mother always found a way to shift the conversation. And there are a lot of ways you can occupy a 5-year-old.

But ever since Aaron came back to his life Seb knew that something was different than it was before. He just didn’t know the reason.

At the age of 7, Seb knew he had a special connection with Aaron. They got on really well. And he always found a way to tell him about his dad. And Seb liked those stories. Even if Aaron didn’t exactly tell him why he’s not there. He told him more than his mother, that’s for sure. And Seb knew that Aaron was more than just someone who knew his father. He felt like a dad. Seb wanted him to be his dad. He just didn’t have the courage to ask.

When he did ask, it was unfortunately in Rebecca’s presence. He kind of whispered to her how he wanted to ask if he could call Aaron daddy. Aaron sat in the living room a couple of feet away, trying hard not to hear it on purpose. But he did. Rebecca suggested Seb to ask the man himself but Aaron could see it on her face, she didn’t like it one bit. But Aaron didn’t have time to think about Rebecca’s feelings, because a couple of seconds later Seb stood before him and sheepishly asked the question.

“You’d really like that?” – asked Aaron already wiping his tears away.

“If you don’t want it you don’t have to.” – he pouted, obviously misunderstanding his emotional outburst.

“No, no mate, I’m happy.” – laughed Aaron kneeling in front of him. – “I’m really happy, and of course I’d love that.” – he smiled. He only had to wait two hours before Seb called him daddy for the first time.

Seb was 8 years old when everything’s changed. He knew something was up because daddy Aaron started talking about his dad way more often. Then one day he told him that his dad came back, and he’d like to meet him. What Seb didn’t know was, that in reality, Robert was back 3 months prior to that. But he and Aaron spent that last 3 months arguing with Rebecca for her to let Robert see his own son. It was ridiculous but when Robert started talking about court, she agreed.

That’s how Seb met his dad after 6 years again. And much to Robert’s surprise and Rebecca’s dismay, they started bonding right on that first meeting. It didn’t take long before he spent weekends there permanently. Rebecca allowed it, as long as Seb continued to live with her. She told them, that if he asks about moving there, they tell him no. Either that or she forbids him spending the weekends there. Robert knew she could do it because even if he threatened her with court he knew Rebecca would try to ruin them in the process, and with his record, it was likely she would get her wish. Either way, he didn’t wanna risk it.

That’s why they kept their mouth shut for years.

By the time he was 11, Seb wanted nothing more than to live with his dads. He didn’t get along with Rebecca, he hated Liverpool, he hated the school there, he genuinely hated everything about it. Rebecca tried to buy his love with toys and empty promises but Seb only wanted one thing. That’s what he asked for every Christmas and birthday… basically any opportunity he’s had.

Robert and Aaron welcomed the twins not long after Seb turned 12, and it gave Rebecca another excuse to say no to his son’s greatest wish. He told him how busy his dad must be. He obviously meant Robert because one thing that Rebecca never did, was acknowledging Aaron as a father figure in Seb’s life. No matter how much his son loved him. It meant nothing to her. She was jealous, and she wanted to block it all out. She fed Seb lies about how Robert and Aaron canceled the weekend he would’ve spent there because they wanted to be with the twins. It wasn’t true, and it only didn’t come out then because Rebecca phoned them and told them that Seb was a bit poorly so it would be best if he’d stay at home. She even reasoned with how she didn’t want Seb to accidentally get the twins sick.

The whole story was beautifully orchestrated… that’s why it remained uncovered for at least 6 months.

Seb’s birthday was coming up and he spent the weekend in the village with his dads, helping them with the twins and out of the blue, he asked them….

“Why do you not want me to move here with you? Is it because you think I wouldn’t help around the twins? I would I swear!” – he pleaded. Robert and Aaron just looked at each other, immediately knowing that something wasn’t right.

“Wait a minute, who told you that?” – asked Aaron putting down the twins' clothes he started folding not long ago, while Robert made their bottles. At that he abandoned the task as well, coming to the couch where his son sat, with a baby either of his sides.

“Mum said you wouldn’t want it.” – he pouted and for a second Aaron remembered how he always did that, even as a little boy.

“Seb, that’s… that’s not true.” – said Robert carefully, because even though he was mad at Rebecca he didn’t want his son to hate her because of this.

“It’s not?” – he asked looking at both of them.

“Course not, we’d love if you’d move here. Do you want that?” – asked Aaron with a gentle smile.

“Yeah. I’ve been asking mum for years… I don’t like that school, I wanna go to school here, I wanna see nana Chas and play with Harry and I can’t because I’m only here for the weekends. I don’t like it.” – he said clearly upset.

“Seb if you really mean it I promise you, we’re gonna sit down with your mum, and talk about it.” – said Robert ruffling his hair.

“But I don’t wanna be in the way.” – he said sadly looking at the twins. He loved his siblings and right in that minute, his behavior made sense to Robert and Aaron. He always seemed a bit… distant when it came to the babies and now they knew why. They never thought Rebecca would be capable of sabotaging her own son’s happiness. That was plain cruelty.

“Seb, listen to me.” – said Aaron. – “We want you here, okay? You have your own room, we love it when you’re around, and to tell you the truth we’re always a bit sad when you have to go back.”

“Really?”

“Your dad’s right.” – said Robert – “If this is what you want… we’re gonna try to make it happen, okay?”

“Okay.” – he said sniffing a bit.

That night, after they finally put the babies down Aaron and Robert had a long conversation. Things needed to change.

At first, they only managed to persuade Rebecca to let Seb be with them a bit more, to take him to trips in school time, as long as they deal with explaining that to Seb’s teachers at school.

Seb was 14 when he moved to his dads' for good. It was an emotional turn of events, something that nobody saw coming.

They tried to argue with Rebecca, about how staying in Liverpool isn’t good for Seb, but she was adamant. She kept saying that Seb belonged with her and that they shouldn’t try to interfere. Their umpteenth argument got out of hands, and they started bringing up the past. Well at first Rebecca did. She shouted about how Robert didn’t even think about Seb when he killed a man and got arrested for it. That he abandoned him and that it was all up to her to take care of Seb… alone. That was the point when Aaron lost his temper. He told Rebecca that what Robert did wasn’t a selfish act, that he was protecting his own sister, and he told her what a hypocrite she was, after how she denied Aaron the right to see Seb for years. He told her how hard it was for him to cope with Robert’s sentencing and then on top of that with losing Seb as well.

What neither of them realized was that Seb came home from school earlier and he heard everything. Some things weren’t news to him. Like what his dad did. He obviously didn’t know the details but he knew he was trying to help auntie Vic, and that he didn’t deserve prison for it. He didn’t know about his mum forbidding Aaron to see him though. It came as a shock. It was all too much. He just stepped from behind the wall, revealing himself. Everybody froze for a second.

“Seb.” – started Rebecca already thinking about a lie to spin.

“You’re…. unbelievable.” – he said directly to his mother. – “Is this true?”  - he asked.

“Seb, mate….” – said Aaron.

“You tried to see me and she didn’t let you?” – he asked Aaron. Aaron didn’t answer just looked at Robert. Neither of them wanted Seb to hold a grudge against his mother for that.

“Mum? Is it true?” – he asked again – “IS IT?”

“Okay yes…” - stuttered Rebecca.  – “It’s true… but listen to me, your dad was gone and Aaron…”

“AARON’S ALSO MY DAD. HE ALWAYS WAS.” – he shouted crying already.

“Seb, come here.” – said Aaron quietly. He wanted to comfort the boy more than ever. Seb crashed against him in a matter of seconds saying how he had no idea. – “I know mate. I know.” – said Aaron.

“I’m… I’m gonna go upstairs… pack a bag… then I’m gonna leave… with them.” – he told Rebecca. – “I wanna live with them… I’ve wanted nothing else for the past 4 years.”

“But Seb… this is your home!”

“IT’S NOT!” – he screamed. – “You lied to me, who knows what else I don’t know about.” – he scoffed.

“You can’t…” - started Rebecca. She wanted to tell him how he cannot leave but Seb didn’t let her finish.

“If you won’t let me then you can go to court, and then they’ll ask me. I’m not a stupid kid anymore, I have a right to say where I wanna live. And it’s not here, and definitely not with you.”

“You!” – spat Rebecca looking at Robert and Aaron. – “You told him to say that.”

“No, we really didn’t.” – said Robert while he was amused by his own son… and maybe a bit proud as well. Okay, REALLY proud.

“This is the first time I hear about this. Do you honestly think that I would’ve stayed here a second longer if I’d known about this before? Why did you do this mum? Do you want me to be miserable?” – he asked.

“No, of course not!”

“Then let me go.”

“But… but… you’re gonna come back… right?”

“I wanna live with my dads. I wanna be there with them and I miss my siblings, I don’t wanna stay here.” – he said again.

“Go upstairs.” – told him Robert. – “Aaron, would you go with him? Help him pack.” – he said to his husband quietly. They went up, while Rebecca stood there, obviously furious.

“Robert… you can’t…”

“I can, actually. Look, I don’t want him to hate you. Why do you think we never told him any of this stuff? Or when you lied about him being ill just so he wouldn’t spend time with the twins. Honestly Rebecca this should’ve happened years ago, but we always thought it would be cruel to take him away. Even when his school rang and told us he was failing in math… even then we said okay he just needs a tutor. You know I never really understood how can he have those grades when he knows everything. When I sat down with him, he knew all the answers. I was stupid for not questioning it. And now ?? You’ve heard him. He’s 14 and he knows what he wants. He doesn’t hate you…. yet. Do you want him to?” – he asked finally looking at her.

“No.” – she admitted.

“Then let him go with us.”

“Will you talk to him?”

“If you want me to change his mind I won’t.” – warned her Robert. – “We’ve always wanted him there. I was an idiot for letting you take him all those years ago. It only brought us suffering. More to Aaron than me. But now that we know for sure it’s what Seb wants… I’m gonna be there for him, to do anything he wants to do.”

“Yeah me too.” – said Aaron as they appeared on the top of the stairs.

“You’re ready?” – asked Robert. Seb nodded.

“I still have stuff left, but… can we just go?” – he asked not even looking at his mother.

“Seb…” - she tried.

“I don’t even wanna look at you right now.” – he said to her before he turned to Robert. – “I’ll wait in the car if that’s okay.”

“Here’s the key.” – said Aaron handing it to him.

“It’s his choice.” – shrugged Robert as he took a look at Rebecca one more time. Only after they closed the front door behind them could Robert let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“You alright?” – asked Aaron stroking his back as they walked to the car, where Seb waited for them.

“Yeah. It’s just… somehow I think things are about to change… for the better.” – he smiled at his husband.

“Yeah, you might be right. I can feel it too.” – he smiled back at him as they got into the car, and drove back home. All three of them.

[neverheardnothing]

hello. over my tumblr break a few months ago i got bored enough to count the frequencies of every word in joe iconis songs and i don’t know what else to do with this info so here y’all go. every word in joe iconis songs with 10+ occurrences in descending order but i also factored out the 250 most common words in the english language badly (warning, this is a 484 item long list).

1 ('i', 2375) 2 ("i'm", 708) 3 ("it's", 366) 4 ('oh', 312) 5 ('gonna', 204) 6 ('yeah', 175) 7 ('got', 163) 8 ("you're", 160) 9 ('am', 160) 10 ('na', 149) 11 ('wanna', 130) 12 ('hey', 129) 13 ('love', 127) 14 ('feel', 122) 15 ("i'll", 117) 16 ('things', 111) 17 ('really', 97) 18 ("i'd", 97) 19 ('bang', 93) 20 ('girl', 87) 21 ('ever', 86) 22 ("can't", 84) 23 ('better', 78) 24 ("there's", 78) 25 ("she's", 78) 26 ("i've", 75) 27 ('whoa', 74) 28 ('baby', 73) 29 ("that's", 70) 30 ('gotta', 69) 31 ("we're", 68) 32 ("ain't", 63) 33 ("won't", 63) 34 ('cool', 61) 35 ('song', 58) 36 ('away', 57) 37 ('anymore', 56) 38 ('because', 55) 39 ('ya', 55) 40 ('always', 54) 41 ('remember', 54) 42 ('gone', 51) 43 ('guess', 51) 44 ('person', 51) 45 ('woman', 49) 46 ('sing', 49) 47 ('blood', 49) 48 ('stay', 48) 49 ('care', 48) 50 ('into', 47) 51 ('mind', 46) 52 ('whatever', 46) 53 ('jeremy', 45) 54 ("didn't", 45) 55 ('wish', 45) 56 ('feeling', 43) 57 ('ooh', 43) 58 ('cuz', 43) 59 ("you'll", 43) 60 ('ribbit', 43) 61 ('everything', 42) 62 ("you've", 42) 63 ('done', 41) 64 ('nothing', 41) 65 ('fine', 41) 66 ('girls', 41) 67 ('something', 40) 68 ('please', 40) 69 ('hate', 40) 70 ('walk', 40) 71 ('nanana', 40) 72 ('going', 39) 73 ('maybe', 39) 74 ('hear', 39) 75 ('used', 39) 76 ('fall', 39) 77 ('wrong', 38) 78 ('fire', 37) 79 ('rather', 37) 80 ('around', 36) 81 ('shit', 36) 82 ('ba', 36) 83 ('heart', 36) 84 ('leave', 36) 85 ('ah', 36) 86 ('being', 36) 87 ('oh-h', 36) 88 ("he's", 35) 89 ('till', 35) 90 ('fight', 35) 91 ('face', 35) 92 ('la-la-la', 35) 93 ('da', 35) 94 ("let's", 34) 95 ('sure', 34) 96 ('hope', 34) 97 ('nana', 34) 98 ('guy', 33) 99 ('knew', 33) 100 ('wanted', 33) 101 ('shoot', 33) 102 ('em', 32) 103 ('rich', 32) 104 ('together', 32) 105 ('looking', 32) 106 ('myself', 32) 107 ('knock', 32) 108 ('chop', 32) 109 ('makes', 31) 110 ('since', 31) 111 ('whiskey', 31) 112 ('uh', 30) 113 ("they're", 30) 114 ('gimme', 30) 115 ('rick', 30) 116 ('somebody', 29) 117 ('those', 29) 118 ("doesn't", 29) 119 ('red', 29) 120 ('totally', 29) 121 ('hell', 29) 122 ("what's", 29) 123 ('hall', 29) 124 ('die', 29) 125 ('annie', 29) 126 ('bad', 28) 127 ('stop', 28) 128 ("you'd", 28) 129 ('listen', 28) 130 ('mamma', 28) 131 ('la-la-la-la', 28) 132 ('do-do', 28) 133 ('tonight', 27) 134 ('okay', 27) 135 ('hair', 27) 136 ("c'mon", 27) 137 ('roll', 27) 138 ('without', 27) 139 ('michael', 27) 140 ('christine', 27) 141 ('bounty', 27) 142 ('almost', 26) 143 ('another', 26) 144 ('kinda', 26) 145 ('mine', 26) 146 ('rock', 26) 147 ('records', 26) 148 ('music', 26) 149 ('lonely', 25) 150 ('words', 25) 151 ('heard', 25) 152 ('yo', 25) 153 ('madeline', 25) 154 ('says', 25) 155 ('band', 25) 156 ('lots', 25) 157 ('alive', 25) 158 ('god', 24) 159 ('times', 24) 160 ('battle', 24) 161 ('skin', 24) 162 ('dada', 24) 163 ('revolution', 24) 164 ('institution', 24) 165 ('broke', 23) 166 ('talk', 23) 167 ('eyes', 23) 168 ("who's", 23) 169 ('hold', 23) 170 ('burned', 23) 171 ('morning', 23) 172 ('chill', 23) 173 ('pretty', 23) 174 ('car', 23) 175 ('young', 23) 176 ('la-la', 23) 177 ('tired', 23) 178 ('nation', 23) 179 ('friend', 22) 180 ('everybody', 22) 181 ('rehearsal', 22) 182 ('true', 22) 183 ('inside', 22) 184 ('squip', 22) 185 ('ready', 21) 186 ('best', 21) 187 ('understand', 21) 188 ('else', 21) 189 ('lot', 21) 190 ('party', 21) 191 ('ignore', 21) 192 ('bit', 21) 193 ('cut', 21) 194 ('gets', 20) 195 ('sometimes', 20) 196 ("isn't", 20) 197 ('whole', 20) 198 ("everybody's", 20) 199 ('starts', 20) 200 ('feels', 20) 201 ('everyone', 20) 202 ('room', 20) 203 ('dry', 20) 204 ('nice', 20) 205 ('juvie', 20) 206 ('sleep', 20) 207 ('wonder', 20) 208 ('size', 20) 209 ('ass', 20) 210 ('welcome', 20) 211 ('seen', 19) 212 ('weird', 19) 213 ('soon', 19) 214 ('yourself', 19) 215 ('alone', 19) 216 ('flame', 19) 217 ('taking', 19) 218 ('friends', 19) 219 ('enough', 19) 220 ('born', 19) 221 ('lordy', 19) 222 ('hunter', 19) 223 ('relate', 19) 224 ('yai', 19) 225 ('today', 18) 226 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[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Fix (TJ Hammond) (Pt. 1)

Characters: Sub!Bi!TJ Hammond x You

Summary: You've went home and was welcomed by a very high TJ who was clean for a year since you've been together. Your boy even did something wrong, resulting to you in reacting very hostile and leading to a hot night considering that he needed to learn his lessons for disobeying you.

Warning: This part has no smut, so you're good to go. Except there's a hint of a Sub/Dom relationship, and there's drugs involve. Plus, some soft, crying Tj for everyone. Oh, and cusses. :)

Words: 4,000+ It’s quite long. (But I think the smut is longer? Hehehehe)

A/N: This is suitable for everybody. The next part won't be. *wink wonk* I've poured my heart in this! LOL. So, FEEDBACKS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! THANK YOU MA'AM AND SIR'S! LOL XD Y’all are prolly quaking because of the word SUB! *wink wink nudge nudge* PART 2 IS SMUT, OKAY? LET YOUR HEART BE STILL WITH THE GIFS ALRIGHT? IT AIN’T FROM MOI! Just took them in google! CREDITS TO THE CREATORS!

Disclaimer: GIF'S and PNG'S aren't mine, however the whole one shot and edit are rightfully mine to begin with.

Dedicated: @caps-boo-bear (I couldn’t tag you bud? Maybe your account is prohibited from tagging in posts?) @angel-of-hell-cece1967​

Every step you took was such a pain in the ass. How you sluggishly walk made every person know not to dare bump on you. The boots you've picked for the day had a defectability that gave your feet blisters which resulted as to why you were walking like the heavens were weighing down on you.

You've met Mrs. Bell on the way to your apartment. She was a very nice old lady who have been giving you free viands and pastries whenever there was any extra that could go to waste. Her husband was the only companion she has that lives in their apartment, and their relationship was darn cute. They've been together for 60 years, and you ought to have that kind of relationship. Mrs. Bell kind of reminded you of TJ's nana, Margaret.

Will that be possible to happen with TJ? It was a question that nobody could ever answer except from God. Even though you were there to keep him steady, you knew how rickety he can get sometimes. The thought of him going back to who he was before was making you worry, scared that after a year of being clean..His addiction would suddenly come around.

"TJ's been awfully quiet today," Mrs. Bell spoke, her voice frail and shaky. You met her on your way up, seeing her once the elevator door pulled open. She lost her chance of transport as her grey eyes watched the elevators close just to tell you news about TJ since you've asked her to check how he was from time to time, especially since you've had your girls night out with your friends, making you a little intoxicated as you went home. You were quite tipsy but not tipsy enough to fall on the ground and swim in your own vomit. You drank moderately and responsively tonight.

The lollipop in your mouth was flavorful. Tangerine taste sipping on your taste buds. You've missed the confectionery since years and you decided it was time to finally satisfy your cravings.

You sucked on your lollipop before taking it out of your mouth with a pop, licking your lips and giving Mrs. Bell a nervous smile, "Did he went out or something, Ma'am?" You could sense something was wrong with how she worded everything, yet you wanted to believe he didn't. He wouldn't because he promised.

The sweet old lady took seconds before she gave a shaky nod, "Yes, I think my husband saw him went out for an hour..then came back looking bothered,"

Your heart skipped a beat, anxiousness began surging through every vein in your heart. He wouldn't, right? You gave a weak nod at Mrs. Bell, helping her wait to get a lift and assisting her till she could enter the elevator before dismissing her with a kiss on the cheek.

The walk to your apartment made your nerves go berserk, every step was shaking your hopes, wishing that nothing happened to your Tj. Once the door opened, the lights to the living room was off, you've flicked the switch on and expected him to come out of the shadows and surprise you yet there was still no Thomas.

"Teej?" Your voice echoed through the hallway before your feet brought you to your kitchen. A half emptied bottle of water was on top of the kitchen counter, and you sighed. Relieved that you saw no beers, not even a single trace of alcohol. Well, that's because you took all the alcohol away when TJ decided to get help. You wanted nothing more than TJ to be happy, and for him to be healed..Mentally and emotionally.

You had always been TJ's strong tower, been there for him no matter how fucked up he was. You still accepted his flaws and him, himself. Your baby boy has been your life and breath. You loved him with all your heart, and you won't ever hesitate on taking care of him even when he was broken.

The lights to your room were on. So, you paraded towards yours and TJ's room. Never even knocking because you wanted to surprise him, but turns out it was you who was surprised by your boyfriend.

TJ was sprawled on your bed, his necklace that you've given as a present for his birthday was dangling around his neck. He was in his clothing alright, but without a shirt on. His eyes were closed as an arm was around his eyes, looking deep in thought. You guessed he was sleeping, yet when he heard someone open the door to your room, his head instantly perked up to see who it was.

It took seconds for Tj to realize who it was. That dazed, lightheaded look in his eyes made your nerves go tense. When he was sure it's you, he languidly sat up. Blinking slower than usual as he set his eyes on you, a discomposed smile and his eyes having this glassy twinkle that could make you want to coddle him up all night.

Yet, there was something in those look of his that you couldn't decipher.

"Y/N?"

You sweetly smiled at him, strolling towards your baby boy sitting on your bed, waiting to be cuddled. How could you not snuggle him right now when he looked so soft and vulnerable?

"Hi, Love! You alright?" You sat beside him, immediately wrapping your arms around him and he was quick to take the chance to snuggle you up, his fluffy head now on your chest. Your nails gently scratching his back.

"I'm fine..just fine," He mumbled quietly. His fingers nonchalantly playing with the hem of your shirt. There was something wrong with him, you thought as you felt him hotter beneath your palm, hotter than his usual body heat. However, you tried to shut those thoughts first, just loving the comfort and embrace that you were both in.

"You don't sound fine," Your hands traveled towards his soft, fluffy hair. Giving his scalp soft scratches and Tj couldn't help but moan very audibly. "My baby boy looks so...so...tired," Dazed and lightheaded was what you wanted to say, but you didn't want him to think you were doubting him into getting drugged again. He wouldn't right? Your heart kept on pounding on that thought.

"Mmm," He hummed in agreement, slipping his hand inside your shirt, softly caressing the skin of your soft stomach. You were used to Tj being handsy, he always was with you every minute of the day. Finding assurance that you were there and that you weren't just a part of his imagination. Making sure that you were there and you stayed. "I missed you,"

"Well, I missed you more. Have you been a good boy while I wasn't around?" There was a second of quietness except from the tiny suckling sounds you make from your lollipop. You hoped he would answer back but he didn't. You checked if he fell asleep yet he was wide awake.

His quietness answered the questions floating inside your head. He seemed to be guilty of doing something that wasn't right.

Your guesses were right all along.

"Thomas," You took the lollipop out of your mouth and addressed him seriously, unwrapping your arms and cutting your embrace. Looking up at his diluted cerulean eyes. Why have you just realized that now? He was definitely drugged and high. You took his face in your hands, setting his eyes on you and a pang of disappointment rushed through your veins. The way the pupils of his eyes were more diluted than usual, eyes glassier and high. What did he even take?

You stood up from the bed, disappointment running in your features. Tj was already a year clean, already starting to change his addiction. Yet, with what happened tonight seemed like he chose to go back from where he used to be. His family would definitely be mad at you for not keeping a close eye on him. "I just went out for a while and now you're high?! What were you even thinking?!" You exclaimed rather furiously.

"I wasn't thinking anything," He deadpanned, shrugging his broad shoulders in attempt to shake off the anxiety creeping. "It just kinda happened,"

Once he saw the intense glare that never failed to falter, his emotions shifted in one snap. What was he saying? Did he disappoint you? The person he loved the most and the only person who continued trusting in him?

Tj's intense, still gorgeous as fuck, glassy eyes peered at you, a look that appeared like he was a kicked puppy and you wanted nothing more than not to be mad at him because you knew how hurt he gets when you're angry. He was immediately on his foot, trotting till he towered and stood in front of you. His half naked fit body gloriously giving you a warm welcome and it surely distracted your maddened state.

God, his abs. Your slightly drunken state thought mentally, giving his body a once over before focusing on his gorgeous orbs again. His lower lip seemed to tremble, "I-I just needed a fix!" He reasoned back, biting his lower lip as he fought a frown, but his eyebrows tell otherwise. He knew you were already disappointed in him, and he didn't like the thought of it.

Your sly, sneaky eyes couldn't help but scan the indents of his hipbone and it made you emit a groan because of how you were thinking in between your pants in a very serious moment that should be taken importantly. Your forehead furrowed in return to his reasons, "You what?!"

"I just needed a fix!" He repeated more clearer, eyeing your face with an obvious frown. "Did something happened, Tj?" You asked more calmly now, the anger slowly subsiding as you saw the pained look he was giving you and it hurt your heart.

He was already in too much pain, and you didn't want him to experience and feel more by being mad at him. You just needed to understand him and why he did it.

"S-Sean," Tj croaked a little more quietly, voice breaking and sounding more vulnerable. The anger that once left you suddenly came back in a hot second just because of one mention of that fucker's name. Sean Reeves, an idiotic man who broke your Tj's heart, torn it into pieces and left Tj feeling shit about himself, that he wasn't someone important made him trigger to go suicidal.

"What.about.him," Y/N gritted in between her teeth, jaw clenching from the irritation she felt from hearing his name. God, it was even nauseating to hear. "I've went to The Dome, updated on things then saw him there," You hummed in understanding, nodding at the same time. His gaze kept on shifting from your face then on the ground, trying to find the exact words as he recollected what happened earlier. Tj looked as if his mind was swirling, kept on jumping from one scene to another from the way his brows furrowed.

"Man..Was I stupid to give him my time," He shook his head to himself, a disgruntled chuckle leaving his plump, red lips--Lips that have been red and swollen from biting it too hard. "He tried coming back, kept on saying things that I wanted to hear from him when we were still together. But, he's too late. Sean tried to fix something that was already been fixed," You saw his miserable baby blues intensely staring at you, eyes turning more diluted and glassy. Beneath those were pent up emotions that you've vulnerably seen. Emotions that held sadness, anger, and brokenness.

There was a pause. He was having an internal debate with himself. Debating whether he needed to even tell it to you. After moments of waiting for him to finish as you stood patiently, desperately wanting to hug him when you saw how your Tj's close to crying.

He finally decided and he was sure to tell you the truth because that's one rule you've both agreed to. It's to be honest with each other and never keep secrets. "He even played dirty because he tried kissing me, Y/N--he did. He did kiss me," His voice croaked like it was difficult for him to say.

Thus, his honesty felt like a cold bucket of ice was thrown on top of her head. That asshole kissed him. Y/N couldn't help but roughly draw crescents on her palms, nails digging deep indenting crescent shapes that could explain the betrayal she felt.

But, it wasn't Tj who did the first move. You debated with that tiny voice inside your head. Y/N was having her inner monologue when the drugs in Tj's system was growing more intense as time goes by. He felt the need to touch you, to be close with you and he didn't hesitate to step close. Holding your tightened hands with his, soothingly pressing his hands with yours.

"I didn't kiss him back if that will make you feel better," He coyly said, looking deep within your furrowed forehead and angered eyes.

Tj couldn't help but gaze down on your lips. His mind completely elsewhere, wanting nothing more than to kiss and bite those lips, stick his naughty tongue inside your warm mouth. He was beginning to feel the side effects of the Ecstacy he took. Those two pills of Ecstacy were the last, and he didn't hesitate to take them all.

His warm, sneaky hands were slowly caressing your hands, trailing up to your arms in a lethargic manner. Sending heat to your warm core. The way his eyes look was making you all fuzzy inside, sending fiery warmth to pool below your stomach.

"That didn't change the fact that you two kissed and you're damn stoned again, Tj! Why did you even think about getting high?" Y/N forcefully unlatched his hands that were sensually caressing her feeble arms.

She could basically hear him whimper when she turned in her heels, walking away from Tj and aiming out of the room, as far as Tj wasn't around because whenever she sees his face. It's either she feels mad or feels the want to let him eat her and delightedly punish him for making a mistake. God, her thoughts are getting way out of hand. Was it the alcohol consuming her?

You thought you would be out of reach by your boyfriend, turns out he followed you like a lost puppy and with a want to oblige and genuinely follow all of your erotic punishments in mind. Tj was in for a mission, a mission to do all of those dirty thoughts you had in mind. He wanted nothing more than to be close to you as of the moment.

"Y/N! Talk to me!" You both stopped in your kitchen, it wasn't entirely the best place to have a conversation when you're mad. You were loudly sucking your lollipop in frustration, and you turned in your heels. Giving him a whiplash of your frustrated anger. Was it frustration out of anger? Or out of other..things?

You pulled the lollipop out of your mouth, using that hand to point at your gorgeously half-naked boyfriend giving you the googly, tantalizing eyes, standing tall before you, a pained expression in those baby blues of his. He wanted nothing more than for you to not be mad at him. Tj was already regretting why he let Sean kiss him when he knew to himself that he didn't have any feelings for him anymore. "You don't get to talk, Thomas!"

You stood on your ground, eyes giving a heated glare on your puppy eyed Hammond. It was making your toes curl inside your aching boots, the look on his face was making it difficult for you to continuously get mad at him, "Does he still affect you?" You whispered harshly through gritted teeth. Your damn mind assuming to think he still has feelings for that idiot and those assumptions couldn't help but send a sting to your big heart.

You loved Tj more than anything in this world, he was a broken soul and you decided he needed all the love in this world. Preferably a love that came from you and his family. Having to think that Tj still has feelings for Sean was hurting you, "Do you still love him, Tj? Do you?!"

Tj's baby blue eyes turned cerulean from your admittance. He chewed his bottom lip, staring straight into your fragile soul beneath your eyes. Thump, he heard. Then, another loud, ear-wrecking thump. The way his heart was beating isn't the same way as he felt for Sean, that particular beat of his heart was only for you, a melody made for you and he could feel his heart screaming for your name.

You were special, but Sean was not. He have loved that man, yet he loved you more than he loved him if that was even possible.

"No, I don't!" He debated, largely puffing out breaths through his mouth out of frustration. You needed to repeat your question because you were contemplating whether he was telling the truth or not. "You don't?! Really, Tj?! Then why the fuck do you sound like you do?!"

Tj was getting agitated, his truthful words ignored by your stubborn mindset. He was telling the honest truth, yet you couldn't believe him and it was making him demonstrative. The drugs in his system turning him more emotional when his eyes turned glassier due to fact that he wanted to cry out the frustrations and the painful feeling that you didn't trust and believe him enough.

You were just like his family. Everyone appears to have a difficult time to trust in him, he thought you were going to be an exception, he thought you could trust him enough more than how his family does, "I-I really don't! I don't! Not anymore!" He stuttered, and poked the inside of his cheeks with his tongue, tears threatening to form in his cerulean eyes that were turning reddish with every forcible word that he wanted to say.

"You're the one I love, Y/N. You're the only girl I loved, I-I never thought I would be in love with a woman, ever. Then, you came along,"

"--You showed me how it feels to be loved, completely loved that you gladly accepted my fucking imperfections and my damn complicated sexuality," You heard his voice break and with that, you knew your baby boy was beginning to slowly break. You felt your heart shatter when he tried hard to talk through out his mental breakdown, "--how to be trusted enough with their life. But, why the fuck do you sound like you don't trust me enough? why don't you trust the words I say, Y/N?"

Your eyes were tempted to jump out of your eye sockets when he desperately took your face in his hands, forcing you to look into his cerulean, glassy eyes. An obvious frown on as he was turning to look miserable. Manipulating thoughts forming in his head, Didn't you love him anymore? Were you just like Sean? Did you love him because you needed something from his family's reputation? This was why Tj never wanted to love again, he was scared that he would fall deeper than he intended to, and unfortunately..he did.

"Tell me you trust me!" He rasped and pleaded desperately, his lower lip pouting when you kept staring at him with that shocked look in your eyes, "Tell me you love me, Y/N. You do right? You do love me? These...These thoughts inside my head," He choked, sniffing to himself.

"T-They aren't real, right? They aren't true?" You could feel his hand shake, his hands that were still on your neck, holding your jaw to look at him in the eye. He was breaking, and he did even more when you heard him emit a whimper. His tears began to fall, like a water hose without no gardener holding onto it. It was more painful to think if you didn't actually love him, more than how Sean hurt him, yours were more painful if it was all true. Just thinking about it was making Tj break down miserably, "T-Tell me you love me, Y/N! Tell me you love me because I do!"

He sobbed and sobbed a little louder and that made your heart cry. You couldn't take it anymore, you couldn't get mad at him when he was acting like that, all miserable and broken. He didn't deserve to cry. Not anymore. "Tj," You croaked out loud, eyes feeling hotter than the usual. You were quick to wrap him in a hug, tucking his head in between your neck as you coddled your crying, miserable baby boy. "I love you, Tj. I do, I love you so much, I trust in you too, okay? Don't you ever forget that, Baby." You gently raked your hand in his soft, fluffy hair. Trailing behind his bare back. You could feel yourself choke in your own anger, it was slowly subsiding, turning into dust.

"Tell me you love me, please..tell me you love me back, Y/N...Tell me you aren't grossed out, tell me it isn't just sex. I love you, I love you so much,"

Tj kept repeating his words in despair, he kept whispering that he loves you and that you were the only one in his life. You believed him, your stubborn mind believed him now. "It's love, baby. It's love. I love you,"

Only one hug from you made those horrible thoughts go away as every minute passed by, his whimpers and cries were long gone. However, you still had him in your arms, gently raking your nails on his back. You could hear his sniffles. He feels so small in your arms and you couldn't help but cuddle him more. "Baby boy's all good? Now that you know I really do love you? And that I trust you very much? I wouldn't have been in a relationship with you if I didn't, Thomas."

"--Trust comes with love, and I love you very very much. This means that I trust you either," You gently patted his warm, smooth, broad back. Whispering loving words against his ear, "I just don't want you going back to the life you were used to, I don't want you to get caught up in your drug addictions again, Teej."

GO SCREAM YOUR HEARTS OUT WITH FEEDBACKS! YAAAY! Second part’s (WITH THE FILTHY SCHMUT) going to be posted after half an hour or so! GIVE ME SOME LOVEEEEE PLEASE? 

XOXO, 

TATA

[niallsstainedcoffeecup]

The Third Birthday Party

Harry and Y/N plan the perfect birthday party for their son, Oliver.  Whenever the party strays from the plans, Y/N panics while Harry calms down his wife.  I hope you all enjoy.  Feedback and Requests are welcomed.  Lots of Love! ----------------------------------------

          The black lamp cast a warm, yellow glow around the bedroom.  The fresh paper pages brushed across Harry’s fingertips while Y/N’s whirring laptop eliminated the comfortable silence in the room. Harry pushed the thick, black glasses further up the bridge of his nose.  An exasperated sigh parted Y/N’s lips, a common noise Harry heard when Y/N emailed co-workers, but Harry counted five irritated sighs within the last hour, five sighs on a Friday were rare.  Harry tucked the homemade bookmarker, the one Oliver created last week in daycare, between the page’s spine.  He placed the folded glasses onto his nearby bedside table.           “Okay, what’s wrong?” Harry asked, facing Y/N’s scowling face.           Y/N huffed, keeping her eyes locked on the computer screen, “I’m looking over Oliver’s birthday itinerary.  Did you double-check with the museum about having that dinosaur man attend the party?”           Harry nodded, recalling the conversation with the museum’s secretary, who promised Mr. Archie Ohlogist would attend Oliver’s third birthday party.  Oliver adored dinosaurs, and when Anne took Oliver to the museum, Mr. Archie Ohlogist informed Oliver about the dinosaurs through cheerful tunes.            “Why do you keep checking the itinerary? Why does our three-year-old’s birthday party have an itinerary?  We never stressed over his birthday before,” Harry mumbled, pressing his lips to Y/N’s shoulder.           Y/N huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “We never stressed over his birthday because he couldn’t remember them. Your grandmother told me that children begin remembering memories when they turn three.  I do not want Oliver’s first memory to be about the worst birthday party ever.  He will think we are the worst parents.”           Harry chuckled, slipping the laptop from Y/N’s grip, “Love, you are far from the worst parent.  Tomorrow, Oliver will have the best birthday.”           Y/N giggled, cupping Harry’s jaw, “I love you. What would I do without you?”           Harry’s smug grin spread across his face, “You would still be looking over that itinerary.  I love you too.”           Y/N pressed her lips onto Harry’s rosy lips, “We should go to bed.”           “Are you sure?  We can practice making Oliver a new sibling,” Harry purred, nuzzling his nose against Y/N’s warm neck.           Y/N giggled, pulling Harry’s head away from her neck, “No, Oliver expects pancakes in the morning, and he only eats daddy’s pancakes.”           Harry smirked, flicking the lamp’s switch until the darkness swallowed the room, “I can add chef onto my long list of talents.”           Y/N snorted, wrapping her arms around Harry’s waist while she nuzzled her head against Harry’s back, “I wish I listened when the fans warned me about your praise kink.”           Harry chuckled, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s knuckles before closing his eyes.  The comfortable silence returned, lulling the couple to sleep.  Harry’s warm body washed away the worries from Y/N’s dreams. *          *          *          *          *          *

          Tiny footsteps approached the white bedroom door.  Oliver clutched the stuffed lime-green dinosaur under one arm while his other hand twisted the doorknob.  He tiptoed toward the loud snores coming from Harry’s open mouth. Oliver reached up, poking Harry’s bare bicep until Harry startled awake.             “Hey, little man.  Happy birthday,” Harry croaked out, gripping Oliver’s small hips to lift him onto the mattress.           Oliver giggled, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, “Thank you, daddy.  Can we wake up mommy?”           Drool trailed down Y/N’s chin and onto the dark sheets.  Stray strands of hair covered her forehead while the rest tickled Harry’s arm.  Harry chuckled, glancing down at his beautiful wife’s fluttering eyelashes, “No, we better leave her asleep.  Are you excited about your party?”           Oliver nodded fervently, “Nana Anne and Aunt Gem are coming.”           Harry chuckled, tickling his son’s chubby stomach, “Do you love Aunt Gem more than me?”           Oliver squealed, squirming in Harry’s arms, “No, I love you because you’re my daddy.  I love Aunt Gem because she gives me chocolate.”           Harry nodded, “That is a good reason to love Aunt Gem.  Well, we need a proper breakfast to leave us energized for the party.  Should we eat oatmeal?”           Oliver scowled, sticking his pink tongue out to show his disgust.           Harry chuckled, cupping his jaw while acting as if he were deep in thought, “Hm, should we eat eggs?”           Oliver shook his head, pouting the more his father did not understand that he despised eggs.             Harry gasped, “What if we cooked pancakes?”           Oliver’s beaming grin spread across his face, “I want pancakes.”           Harry’s smile dropped, resulting in Oliver’s smile falling too, “We could make pancakes, but I can’t cook them alone.  I need two helpers, one person for mixing, and one person for reading the recipe.”           Oliver grinned, glancing down at the dinosaur still under his arm, “Theo and I can help you, daddy.”           “Theo the dinosaur can read?” Harry wondered aloud.           Oliver nodded, “He helps me read big books with mommy.”           Harry chuckled, “Okay, well, we better start on the pancakes.”           Harry carried the two tiny chefs toward the kitchen, where the pancake mix awaited Harry’s arrival.  Harry placed Oliver onto the gray marble counters while he scooped coffee grounds into the black coffeemaker.  A shocked gasp parted his lips when his eyes noticed the heavy rain trampling the freshly planted roses.  Yesterday, Harry and Y/N built sandpits, which contained plastic bones and treasure that the children could dig through during the party.  How could Oliver and his friends dig through the muddy sand and the rain? *          *          *          *          *          *

          Oliver dipped the thin pancake inside the syrup pool that he poured without Harry’s help.  Harry grinned, watching his son bounce his head from side to side while chewing the pancake.  Harry sipped the plain coffee and helped Oliver wipe the syrup rolling down his arm. Y/N shuffled into the kitchen, smiling widely at her son’s dimpled grin.           “Happy birthday.  Did daddy make you pancakes?” Y/N asked, pressing a kiss atop Oliver’s curly, brown locks.           Oliver nodded, pressing his sticky lips against Y/N’s cheek, “I like when daddy cooks pancakes because they don’t taste bad.”           Y/N giggled, rolling her eyes playfully, “You burn the pancakes once, and now, your son thinks you can’t cook.”           Y/N wiped the dried syrup off Oliver’s cheeks while ignoring Oliver’s complaints about being cleaned.  She decided she could wash the syrup off during Oliver’s bath.  She shuffled across the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Harry’s shoulders.           “Good morning, I missed you,” She whispered, pressing her lips onto Harry’s shoulder.           Harry spun around, smiling at his wife’s stunning smile, “I missed you too.”           Y/N giggled, brushed her lips along Harry’s soft lips.  Harry captured Y/N’s lips between his, allowing her to taste the mixture of syrup and coffee on his breath.  Y/N smiled, breaking the kiss before Oliver whined with disgust.             “Are you excited about your party?” Y/N asked, looking through the fogged kitchen window.           Y/N’s smile dropped the minute she spotted the rain pouring from the dark gray clouds hung above the neighborhood.  Her panicked mind roared over Oliver’s cheerful response.  Y/N and Harry planned the outdoor birthday party, without purchasing any inside activities, in case the weather turned their back on them like today.             Y/N spun around, noticing Harry’s sympathetic frown, “Have you checked the weather?”          Harry nodded, “The weatherman doesn’t see the rain stopping anytime soon.”           Y/N frowned, “We should cancel the party.”           Harry’s eyes widened, which led him toward Y/N’s tense figure, “Hey, it will be okay.  We can host the party inside.  I can go purchase a few games for the guests.  Oliver will still have the best birthday ever.”           Y/N smiled, hugging Harry’s sturdy figure, “I love you.  I will bath Oliver while you go to the shops.”           Harry nodded, kissing Y/N’s forehead before exiting the kitchen.  Y/N calmed her nervous heart with a few deep breathes before focusing her attention on the grinning little boy.  Oliver dipped his fingers inside the syrup pool, then dragged his fingers along the marble counters.  Y/N groaned, canceling Oliver’s art time by freeing him from the high chair.  She carried Oliver into the bathroom with the hope that the birthday could be saved. *          *          *          *          *          *

          Harry loaded the board game boxes into the sleek black car’s trunk.  He slipped the thin phone from his pocket, typing a new message to Y/N. Hey love, I bought enough board games for the party.  I’m heading home -H. The car’s engine roared to life while Harry skipped through radio stations.  Harry’s rings slapped against the steering wheel to the catchy beat.  An incoming call interrupted the radio host’s laser hair removal ad.           “Hello?” Harry answered, turning the radio down.           “Hello, is this Mr. Styles, this is Elizabeth with the museum,” The young girl mumbled softly.           Harry frowned, “Yes, this is Mr. Styles. Is there a problem?”           “I’m afraid there is a problem.  You hired Mr. Archie Ohlogist for your son’s birthday; however, Mr. Archie Ohlogist called in sick with the flu,” The young girl mumbled through fear.           Harry’s knuckles turned white from the grip around his steering wheel.  He promised Y/N that Oliver’s birthday party would happen without any problems, but here they were without the main entertainment.  Harry thanked the young girl for informing him, but his heart sunk when he pulled into the driveway.  He dropped the board games near the front door and kicked the wet loafers from his feet. His ears caught Y/N and Oliver singing along with Mr. Archie Ohlogist’s dinosaur rap album, which only worsened the churning in Harry’s stomach.  Harry trudged upstairs until he entered Oliver’s clean room.  Y/N buttoned Oliver’s salmon pink pants that she paired with Oliver’s black and white dinosaur shirt.  Y/N spotted Harry, shooting him a grin that faded once she spotted the pain in his eyes.           “Oli, I need to talk to your father.  Can you stay in here?” Y/N asked, wiping the stray curls from his eyes.           Oliver nodded, walking across the room toward the toybox filled with costumes and toys.  Y/N followed Harry into the hallway, where Oliver couldn’t hear the bad news.           “What happened? Y/N asked, crossing her arms across her chest.           Harry frowned, “Mr. Archie canceled on us. He caught the flu, so he won’t be here.”           Y/N shook her head, “Are you joking?  I can deal with rain, but now, the one person that our son wanted at his birthday party will not be here?  What will I tell him?  He will remember this birthday as the one where he wanted Mr. Archie, and we surprised him with some knock-off instead.”           Harry chuckled, wrapping his arms around his wife’s tense figure, “Hey, it will be okay.  One year, I asked my mom for batman pajamas, and she surprised me with spider man pajamas.  I didn’t get what I wanted for my birthday, but that didn’t matter because I got a gift while other kids never got gifts.  Our son will be okay.”           Y/N nodded, pressing her lips onto Harry’s lips, “I love you.  Will you tell Oli about the change of plans?”           Harry nodded, heading inside Oliver’s room while Y/N jogged downstairs.  She listened to Harry and Oliver sing Harry’s album while she cleaned around the living room. Her heart reassured her that Oliver would remember this birthday with positive memories. *          *          *          *          *          *

          The doorbell’s chime informed Oliver’s eager heart that one of his guests arrived.  A squeal bubbled past Oliver’s lips while his tiny hands shoved past Harry’s long legs. Oliver’s small feet carried him faster than the wind toward the front door.           “Who is it?” Oliver sang, reaching for the handle.           A muffled giggle slipped through the door, “Oli, it’s Aunt Gemma and Nana Anne.”           Oliver trusted the voice behind the door, but before his fingers could twist the knob, Harry’s booming voice startled Oliver’s hands away, “Oliver Styles, what have mommy and I told you about opening the door for strangers.”           Oliver pouted, facing his father’s furrowed eyebrows, “Aunt Gem told me that it was her.”           Harry frowned, scooping his son into his arms, “I understand, but that person behind the door could lie to you.  You should wait for mommy or daddy to open the door.”           Harry swung the door open, inviting his sister, his sister’s boyfriend, and his mother into the warm house.  Anne, Gemma, and Michal ditched their soggy shoes and dripping umbrellas.             “How is my birthday boy?” Anne asked, stealing Oliver from Harry’s arms.           Oliver giggled, dodging Anne’s lips that pressed kisses across his soft face, “I’m well.  Nana, did you see the rain?”           Anne nodded, “I did see the rain.  I’m glad that we are inside, so we don’t get sick.”           Oliver nodded eagerly, making everyone laugh from his antics, which caused him to crack more jokes.  Anne grinned, recalling moments when a three-year-old Harry performed music for his grandparents to bring smiles to their faces. She couldn’t believe how much Oliver acted like Harry did growing up.             “Can I hold the birthday boy?” Gemma asked, reaching for Oliver.           Anne grinned, passing a beaming Oliver toward Gemma.  Anne followed everyone into the living room, where she greeted Y/N and Harry without the toddler in her arms.  Gemma plopped herself and Oliver onto the black couch beside Michal.           “Do you feel old?” Gemma asked, poking Oliver’s dimple that all the Styles inherited.           Oliver giggled, shaking his head, “I’m still a baby.  Did you bring chocolate?”           “Oliver, we do not ask other people for candy,” Y/N warned the now pouting Oliver.          Gemma grinned, “It’s okay, Y/N.  I know that my nephew isn’t a mean kid.  He happens to be the sweetest little boy ever, and that is why Uncle Michal and I brought you some chocolate.”           Oliver cheered, yanking the chocolate bar from Gemma’s hands, “Thank you.”           Gemma nodded, admiring the way Michal helped Oliver unwrap the chocolate bar.  Harry grinned, wrapping his arm across Y/N’s shoulders.           “Thank you for giving our child sugar.  I can’t wait until you and Michal have children so I can fill them up with sugar,” Harry chuckled at Gemma’s playful glare.           Anne rolled her eyes, laughing softly at her children, “Y/N, they never grow up.  They can be twenty-something, and still, act like children.”           Y/N giggled, pressing her lips to Harry’s cheek, “Trust me, sometimes I feel like I have two children rather than one. When we go grocery shopping, Harry and Oliver whine until I let them leave for frozen yogurt while I finish the shopping.”           Harry pouted, crossing his arms over his chest, biting back the smile that threatened to unravel when everyone laughed.           Y/N pressed her lips against Harry’s dimple, “I’m kidding.  I love you.”           A dazed smile replaced Harry’s pout as he admired Y/N’s beauty, “I love you too.”           “Aunt Gemma, can we play hide and seek?” Oliver asked, wiping his chocolate-covered hands onto his t-shirt.           Gemma agreed, cleaning Oliver’s hands with a nearby napkin.  Gemma counted while Oliver and Michal searched for hiding places.  Y/N, Harry, and Anne watched Oliver play while they discussed recent events.  Y/N’s eyes noticed the clock ticking the time away, which left her wondering where the rest of Oliver’s guests were. *          *          *          *          *          *

          The messages flooded Y/N and Harry’s phones.  Adam and his family couldn’t attend the party because one of Adam’s kids caught the flu.  Oliver’s preschool friend, Danny, couldn’t attend the party because his mother couldn’t drive through the heavy rain.  Another friend would not attend the party because the parents did not get off work early. The guest list slowly dwindled until the only guests were the three guests, who were currently dancing with Oliver. Y/N huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose while Harry mumbled reassuring messages into Y/N’s tense shoulders.           “Hey, Oliver doesn’t care about the guests. Look how much fun he is having with my family,” Harry mumbled, peppering kisses up Y/N’s neck.           Y/N shrank from Harry’s lips, “Harry, I do not need your positivity right now.  What will Oliver remember from this birthday?  Nobody showed up, his parents failed to book his favorite dinosaur man, and we could not celebrate outside because of the rain.”           “The party might not fit our expectations, but our son loves the party.  He doesn’t need sandpits, tons of guests, and the dinosaur man for his birthday because we taught our son that all he needs is his family.  We did not fail our son, and we are not bad parents.  I love you, but I need you to stop worrying about Oliver’s memories.  I can barely remember shit from when I was three,” Harry firm lips and furrowed brows presented his stern message.           Y/N frowned, “I apologize for freaking out about the birthday party.  I want the best for Oliver, and I took things negatively when they didn’t work out with my plan.”           Harry captured Y/N’s lips with his own, pulling her body closer until their chests were flush against each other. Y/N smiled, wrapping her arms around Harry’s neck while Harry’s tongue explored her warm mouth.  Her fingers raked through his short curly hair, which brought Harry’s soft groans out.             “Oi, I didn’t visit your house to watch you two make out.  You better pull that roasted chicken from the oven before it burns,” Gemma scolded the blushing couple.           Y/N lowered her head, tearing away from Harry’s arms to grab the chicken from the oven.  Harry chuckled, catching his breath while avoiding his sister’s disgusted expression.  Gemma poured the sparkling red wine into glasses, holding back the laughter that stemmed from her brother and sister-in-law’s embarrassed grins.           “Well, I will leave you two to finish dinner. I pray that you focus on the food this time rather than one another’s mouths.  Your son is starving,” Gemma joked, shooting Y/N a wink before disappearing from the kitchen.           Y/N rolled her eyes, smirking at Harry’s flushed cheeks, “We are never making out with your family here again.”           Harry gasped, “Why not?  Gemma doesn’t care if we make out.  She’s lucky that she walked in on us making out, rather than us fucking.”           Y/N’s eyes widened, “Harry, your mother is in the next room.  Could you be any more vulgar?”           Harry smirked, pressing his palms against the cool marble counter, “I could, would you like to see it?”           Y/N chuckled, rolling her eyes, “Shut up, and help me carry the food into the dining room.”           Harry nodded, slapping his wife’s butt before grabbing the mashed potato dish from the counter.  Y/N rolled her eyes playfully before following Harry with the roasted chicken dish.  After the couple placed the dishes onto the dining room table, the family gathered around the table for the birthday feast.  Oliver munched on his favorite meal, roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and peas.  He finished the meal with the thought of birthday cake lurking within his mind. *          *          *          *          *          *

          “Happy birthday to you,” Everyone sang, watching Oliver’s dimpled grin grow wider with each verse.           Oliver’s eyes flickered between his singing family and the dinosaur-themed cake.  The brown frosting mimicked mud puddles that the plastic dinosaurs walked through.  The green frosting mimicked the grassy field where fondant trees grew.  Once everyone hit the last note, Oliver inhaled deeply, puffing his cheeks out before blowing onto the three rainbow candles.  He repeated the action until he extinguished all three candles.  Everyone clapped while Harry sliced the cake into individual slices.  Oliver licked his lips, poking his fork into the spongey chocolate cake.           “Who made the cake?” Anne asked, eating around the sugary icing.           Y/N grinned, wiping green frosting from Oliver’s eyebrow, “I found a local bakery that specializes in children’s cakes. The lady met with me and Oliver, where she sketched out Oliver’s dream cake.”           “That’s awesome.  The cake tastes delicious.  Do you like it, Oli?” Michal asked, chuckling when his nephew nodded through his mouthful of cake.           “Oliver isn’t the type to refuse any cake,” Harry informed his family.           Y/N giggled, nodding her head, “One time, Oliver visited my grandfather’s house, where he found my grandfather’s carrot cake.  The cake contained more carrot than actual spice cake, but Oliver finished every crumb and even licked the plate.”           Oliver chuckled as if he couldn’t believe the silly story.  The table erupted into laughter, which only increased Oliver’s giggles.  Once Oliver finished his slice of birthday cake, Y/N and Harry knew Oliver had an hour of energy left until he crashed.  If the couple waited any longer to unwrap presents, then Oliver would grow cranky from the need for sleep. *          *          *          *          *          *

          Oliver’s small hands ripped the sparkly green wrapping paper from the box.  Harry knelt beside his son’s small frame.  He helped Oliver rip the stubborn wrapping paper from the white box.  Once Oliver tore off the final piece of wrapping paper, he opened the white box, which contained gray and red dinosaur pajamas.           “A new set of dinosaur pajamas.  What do we say to Nana Anne?” Y/N asked, patting Oliver’s back.           Oliver smiled, toddling toward Anne’s open arms, “Thank you, Nana Anne.”           “You’re welcome, my sweet boy.  I also brought you a second gift,” Anne mumbled, pressing her lips against Oliver’s forehead.           Oliver returned to the pile of gifts, where he found Anne’s second gift.  He tore the box open, revealing two new stuffed animals.  Oliver squealed, dropping the gray dinosaur for the pastel pink unicorn.  Last week, Anne visited the shops with Oliver and Y/N.  In the toy store, Oliver stumbled past pink and blue princess costumes toward the pastel pink unicorn.  Anne purchased the toy without Oliver’s knowledge, while Y/N showed him the new costumes.           “What’s her name?” Harry asked, rubbing his son’s back.           Oliver snorted, “Daddy, Ron isn’t a girl.”           Harry chuckled, nodding fervently, “Right, I apologize.  Men can like the color pink too.  Does Ron like the color pink?”           Oliver grinned, “He loves the color pink.”           Gemma and Michal purchased Oliver a new racecar set.  Harry and Y/N showered Oliver with multiple gifts that ranged from new outfits created by Harry’s stylists, toys, children books, and costumes that ranged from pink feather boas to a miniature Elvis costume.  Oliver thanked everyone for the gifts with a hug and a kiss.  Gemma lifted Oliver onto the couch, where he snuggled into her side while Harry and Y/N cleaned up the piles of torn wrapping paper.  Y/N glanced up from the sparkly paper toward her son’s drooping eyes.             “He’s going to sleep good tonight,” Michal whispered, chuckling when Oliver’s head jerked backward startling him awake.           Harry hummed in agreement, “Oli, what do you say that we give you a bath and put you in your new pajamas?”           Oliver shook his head, burying his face further into Gemma’s side.  Gemma smiled, rubbing Oliver’s back.           “We can bath him tomorrow.  He didn’t make a total mess with the cake,” Y/N mumbled, cutting the tags from Oliver’s outfits.           Harry nodded, “Okay, Gem, do you mind holding him for a bit longer?  Y/N and I want to clean the kitchen before we go to bed.”           “I don’t mind.  I love cuddling with my nephew,” Gemma promised, wrapping her arm around Oliver.           “I can help you two,” Anne whispered, following Y/N and Harry into the kitchen.             The excitement quieted down the minute Oliver’s tiny snores echoed throughout the silent living room.  Gemma and Michal cuddled with Oliver while Y/N, Harry, and Anne cleaned the kitchen from dinner.   *          *          *          *          *          *

          “You have a real special kid.  Call us anytime you two need a babysitter,” Gemma hugged Y/N and Harry.           “Thank you for coming.  You three gave Oliver a birthday that he won’t forget,” Y/N mumbled, hugging Anne, Gemma, and Michal.           Y/N took Oliver’s sleeping figure from Harry’s sturdy arms.  She carried the heavy toddler toward his bedroom.  Harry’s heart fluttered, and a smile spread across his face as he watched his wife carry their son toward the room.  Once Y/N disappeared into the dark hallway, Harry faced his smirking family.           “Harry, you are blessed.  Y/N is an incredible mother and wife, and Oliver is such an angel.  I hope you cherish them,” Anne reminded Harry.           Harry nodded, hugging his mother, who never became used to Harry’s lifestyle.  She often reminded him about the day when a sixteen-year-old Harry entered the world of fame forever.  Now that Oliver entered the world, Harry understood the sorrow yet pride that she felt. Harry hoped Oliver chased his dreams, but he would struggle to let him travel across the world at sixteen.           “I love you, mom,” Harry pressed a kiss to Anne’s temple.           Anne pecked Harry’s nose, “I love you too. I hope you three have a wonderful night.”           Harry waved goodbye as the car drove off down the narrow streets.  Harry closed the front door, tiptoeing toward Oliver’s bedroom, where he heard Oliver gushing about his birthday party.  Oliver’s groggy voice mumbled incoherent praises while Y/N tucked him into the blue sheets.           “Thank you, mommy, for the best birthday ever,” Oliver whispered, shutting his eyes.           Y/N smiled, pecking Oliver’s forehead, “You’re welcome.  I love you, Oli.  Sleep tight.”           Y/N flicked the lamp switch off and maneuvered past the toys strewn across the floor.  A squeal flew past her lips the minute she closed Oliver’s bedroom door and found Harry standing there.  Harry chuckled, dodging his wife’s soft slaps as she calmed her breathing.           “What did Oli say?” Harry asked, tugging his wife toward their bedroom.           Y/N grinned, “He thanked us for his birthday party.”           Harry tutted, shuffling across the bedroom toward their bed, “No, I heard him thank you.  You saved the day.”           Y/N shook her head, walking until Harry tumbled backward onto the bed, “We saved the day.  I couldn’t do it without you being there to calm me down.  You were right.  Everything would be okay.”           Y/N straddled Harry’s waist, admiring the way the moonlight splashed across his face.  Her eyes traced the freckles dotted around his tan skin until they landed on his rosy lips.  She lowered her head, brushing her lips against Harry’s stubbly jaw.           Harry groaned, “I love when you tell me that I was right.  Can you say it again?”           “You were right,” Y/N purred, trailing her lips down Harry’s neck.           Harry chuckled darkly, “I love you.”           “I love you too.  I also think you were right about practicing for making another baby. Maybe we should start practicing,” Y/N sat up, searching Harry’s eyes for disapproval.           A wide grin unraveled across Harry’s face, “Yeah?  You want another baby with me?”           Y/N nodded, biting back the dazed grin, “I want more children with you.”           Harry giggled, pressing his lips onto Y/N’s lips.  The couple shared urgent kisses as if each kiss might be their last.  Y/N’s heart fluttered from Harry’s excitement and the feeling of his lips on hers.  Later that night, Y/N and Harry discussed their hopes for the future.  Harry and Y/N couldn’t wait until another baby entered their lives.

[maree-ff]

Pressure

CAMILA

“Ma…” I dragged my mother's name through vain as she spit questions at me left and right. She’s been on my ass ever since I confided in her about my pregnancy. It’s going on week twenty of my second trimester and life is kicking my ass. Our septic system needs to be replaced and I’m having major construction done to the house so I’m apartment hunting. Jessica offered to let the girls and I stay with her but I can’t. Adding two more children and a third adult into their household is a bit much. Amelia needs one on one attention and I need my personal space. 

I spoke to Andre a few days ago, for thirty seconds and then he promised to call back but never did. Some of our calls get cut short and I get so irrationally sad that I end up crying myself to sleep. I’m losing my mind over Andre’s absence. 

“Camila, stop whining and listen to me. You can be so terca at times. Just like tu papa. Have you asked Divya if you can stay with her?” 

Grunting aloud so she can hear my frustration I dropped the house phone in my lap. Just then I heard my cell phone going off. 

“No, because I found a place this morning. Mira, me tengo que ir, I’ll call you later.” Lying through my teeth I briskly hung up and answered my incoming call. “Hello?” I answered. 

“You have one call from California State Prison. Do you accept the charges?” The machine spoke. 

“I accept.” I said clearly. I listened for that signal to speak, grinning from ear to ear to hear his voice. 

“I am so sorry, love. We had a quarantine and a lockdown at the same time which is why you haven’t heard from me.” He said in a rush. 

“I’m just happy to hear your voice. Are you alright?” I questioned. 

“Yeah baby I’m fine. How are you? Talk to me about everything.” His evenly paced breaths really solidified my peace of mind. 

“Cuánto tiempo tenemos?” I couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony of not having enough time.

“That bad?” He quieted down telling me he’s not in a joking manner. 

“Si. I’m having major work down to the house and I’m looking for a place to rent out for a while. On top of that, Zoe is sick again. This time I’m not sure what she caught and I’m scared to get sick and then pass it to the baby. But she’s been on one for five days now driving Kenny insane.” I explained. 

“I’d give up everything to be taking care of you ladies. I’m sorry you all are going through so much. You’ve been taking it easy I hope.” 

“Andre, sweetie I’m doing the best I can but it’s hard and I’m extremely worn out. These little girls give me a run for my money sometimes but I’ve learned to love that about them. Don’t get me wrong, they are so loving, caring, and kind-hearted but I’m tired.” I do the best I can to not whine to him about how difficult this situation is for me. Today, I can’t. I need to relieve some of this pressure. 

“I can only imagine how this must be affecting you.” The silence that’s brooding between us gives me anxiety. “Camila, I am so sorry for splitting up this family. I will completely understand if you need to hate me. I will understand whatever decision you make regarding this difficult situation I’ve placed our family in. This is my fault.” His apologetic and never wanting to hurt me attitude is why I can’t seem to be upset for too long. 

“You don’t need to apologize, go me. I just want you to know how I’m feeling. I don’t want you to ever question whether or not I can do this. I don’t want you to doubt my abilities as a mother either. There’s so much to adjust to. We miss you so much and I never want you to forget that.” Needing a deep breath in, I stood up and walked around the room. My sights fanned out over my belly, analyzing the growth of it. 

“How far along are you?” He asked. 

“Twenty weeks, second trimester. The baby has gotten so big. Zoe keeps addressing the baby as “he” because she’s confident that we have a boy coming into the family. I kinda feel like that too. Everyone else is thinking it’s a girl but I’m siding with Zoe all the way.” Talking about the baby gives me mixed feelings. There are times when I’m welcoming of the fact and other times I would trade the baby for Dre. 

We can create life together as long as we’d like to but I can’t replace him. I just can’t. 

“When are you coming back to see me?” I know for a fact this man has some sort of smile or smirk on his face. 

“Whenever you want us too.” Our tones of voice indicate that he and I are on the same page. 

He then says, “Tuesday, come visit on Tuesday. So...what’s the plan for today?” 

I buzzed around again getting ready for the moving truck to come. “Packing up the small stuff and bringing it to our new place. I’ll show you pictures don’t worry. You should talk to the girls before you have to go..” covering the mouthpiece I called out for Kenja and Zoe. 

Walking to the living room I found them sound asleep. Feet touching as usual. 

“Camila, what's wrong?” Andre panicked. 

Holding the phone up to my face again I smiled gently and said, “..nothing is wrong.  The girls are knocked out on the couch. They look so cute. Damn, I wish they were up right now.”

Andre and I talked for a wholesome twenty-five minutes. The downside to this call is that I didn’t get to say ‘I love you too’ before the call dropped. The act triggered me and sent me into a frenzy. Lucky for me, my mom, dad, Dani and Matt came over. Not only to help me with the girls but also to help with the move. 

Going to get the girls up and ready I attempted to get Zoe up first since she’s the lightest sleeper of us all. 

“Levántate ya sweet pea, we have to move today.” Kissing her hairline I turned her over as she began to wake up. 

“Mom, you talk to daddy? Yes?” She spit out without hesitation. 

“Yes I talked to him. He loves you and he can’t wait to see you and your sister. Did you have a good nap mi amor?” Wiping the drool off of her cheek I moved over to Kenja knowing this would be a tad more difficult. “Come on nena, levántate ya por favor.”

Kenja began to squirm and ultimately frowned at me once she had her eyes fully opened up. “Eres muy ruidoso, mom!” She exclaimed. 

“Cuidado, Evelyn. We don’t have time for this now, get up and get moving. Ahora.” Following behind and guiding them to their rooms, I got them ready together. By the time I finished with the girls the trucks had arrived. I traded places with my mom so she could get the girls into her car while I stand aside to supervise everything. 

——— ———

“Urgh my goodness, my body hurts so much. This poor baby has been going at my back relentlessly for hours.” Working through the knot in my lower back I ran my free hand across my belly. 

My mom stopped fanning herself to stare at me. 

 “Ay! Que estás mirando?” 

“You’re acknowledging my grandchild again. Some days I fear you have evil thoughts about this bundle of joy because Andre is not present. I see the way you look at yourself in the mirror and ay bendito it makes me so sad. But this is your baby and your body. I just don’t want you to forget, usted tiene ayuda Camila.” 

My mom prayed over the baby and I, and quietly exited the room. “Tienen hambre nenas?” She joyously sang. 

Rising from the bed I walked to the window, drawing the shades up. The view from this floor is breathtaking. I haven’t seen this type of view in a while. Watching the city below seems slowed down and so far away. 

“You’d love this place..” I whispered aloud. Gliding both palms over my belly I thought about our last visitation. I dreamt of the last night Andre romanced me and ultimately impregnated me. This baby is so much more special than I gave him or her credit for. My fears and anxiety have pushed me too far. Our child is a blessing through the turmoil. I need this baby as a symbol for hope and love. 

This bundle of joy and innocence deserves some attention and care. I could never imagine allowing Andre to discover the evil thoughts I’ve dreamt up like my mom mentioned. 

“I love you so much and I’m so sorry for not treating you better. This is a very difficult time for our familia pero it’s no excuse for my love..” looking down at my baby bump I smiled at the sight of my bare skin housing my unborn baby. “I’ll get myself together and take care of you the way you deserve. Con amor y respeto.” 

“Mommy, Papi is calling! Come on!” Kenja and Zoe yelled, blending their voices together. 

Hurrying out of the room I leveled out my tank top and threw my hands up. “Nenas, we can’t be as loud as we used to be at the house okay? This place is much smaller and we have neighbors close by.” I informed them. 

“Okay, we’re sorry. Talk to daddy.” Zoe shoved the phone to my ear where I could hear Andre speaking but to someone else. 

“Andre?” 

“I’m here baby. Listen I’m so sorry for the noise but these n diggas won’t leave me the fuck alone. How are you? How was the move?” He quizzed. 

“It went good. I’m more exhausted now than I was earlier but I can’t complain about much else. I love you papa but I want you to talk to the girls since you weren’t able to earlier.” I listened to his return of adoration and affection, handing my phone back to the girls. “Ma, you’re more than welcome to stay.” I said, meeting her in the kitchen. 

She smirks and giggles knowing damn well I need her to stay with us tonight. “You can count on that. What are we cooking?” 

Rubbing my belly again just to hear my mother laugh I laid out all of my plans for dinner and dessert. Our first night in this condo will be an adjustment as will the remainder of our time here. 

Mom and I watched the girls load up on two full portions of dinner, still crying for more. After our familial debate my mom volunteered to bathe the kids while I put the remainder of the food away and cleaned the kitchen. 

“Nana, can you stay and help mom? She won’t rest. And she’s super tired.” I heard Zoe say over the sound of Kenja laughing and splashing around in the tub. 

Quietly I set the pots and pans down to hone in on their little talk. Wiping my hands dry, I inched closer to the doorway of their bedroom. 

“Of course I will nena. I’m here to help mommy and you girls as long as I need to. That’s what I’m here for.” My mom said, smiling through her words I can tell. 

“I miss daddy..” Kenja settled down and finally spoke up. My heart split down the middle at her confession. Her speaking on her father’s absence sounds different then the other ‘i miss him’ confessions. 

“Yo sé mamita. I miss him también y I know mom does too. Your dad being gone is difficult on us all. And I’m sure that you girls have questions about why he’s gone and when he will be home..si?” The hope and serenity in my moms voice gives me hope that this tough time will get easier. Or at least we will all come to terms with Andre being away and make the best out of our unfortunate situation. 

“Yes.” The girls said together. “When will he come home? He has to care for mommy and baby brother before it’s too late!” Kenja exclaimed. 

“Ay, tranquila Evelyn. It’s late and that’s no way to speak to tu abuelita. I know and mom knows how much you girls miss your dad. We have to be patient and stay positive. I need you both to be supportive of your mom and tu papa. Don’t give mom a hard time ok? Take it easy on her. With your baby brother or sister still baking, your mom needs you both to take care of her. Come on, let’s get dressed for bed now.” 

Leaning back against the wall I looked around our temporary living quarters in amazement. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be stepping back into the shoes of being a solo parent. I have this urge to cry but I feel selfish for even wanting to. Deciding against being emotional I forced my way back to the dishes to finish up here for the night. 

Once I had my own bath taken and I got dressed for bed I stretched out. The echoes of silence in this room and the loneliness of laying in bed alone is still foreign. I hope I don’t get used to this but I’m afraid I may have to. Turning over to face away from the window I snuggled the body pillow covered by Andre’s favorite sweatshirt. 

I miss the tips of his fingers massaging my scalp. I miss his natural body heat to keep me warm throughout the night. I miss the combination of his soap and the girls knocking me into a blissful sleep. I close my eyes to reminisce on the sound of him speaking softly into my ear about his innermost thoughts. A slight grin bestowed upon my face pretending to feel his lips on my skin, melting me to the core. 

“I pray that you’re alright my love. And I pray that you miss me nearly as much as I miss you.” I muttered to myself. Clutching the pillow a bit tighter I tuned out the rainfall and the scary images in mind to dream of our reunion. 

[earth-ambassador-jim]

Changeling Loyalties: Chapter 5

Up All Night

Toby is quite happy with his life, but then the Amulet of Daylight just had to choose his human friend. What’s a changeling to do? Good thing Toby never really liked Gunmar anyway.

AO3 - Fanfiction

~~~~

~~~~

Toby liked the Three Rules of Trollhunting far more than the Changeling Code, he decided as he and Jim climbed slowly up the crystal stairs. They were much more straightforward and pretty much boiled down to: stay alert, don’t start fights you don’t want to finish and hit where it hurts.

They reached the top of the stairs and Jim pulled out the horngazel Blinky had given him. Toby stared at it longingly. What he wouldn’t give for a chance to take one apart and see how it worked. The troll’s tools seemed to generally consist of a magic stone or crystal of some variety powering a set of runes. Toby, as a very low ranking changeling, had never really gotten the clearance to know more.

“Toby?”

He blinked and quickly closed his mouth. Jim was giving him a curious look.

“Sorry,” He said with a sheepish smile. “I zoned out.”

Jim nodded and turned back to the rock wall in front of them. Toby watched with fascination as he drew the arch and opened the portal. 

“That is so the bomb…”

Jim grinned as he pulled on his mask.

“I know right?”

He stepped through the portal and Toby followed. The glowing blue energy had a soothing welcoming feel, unlike the chaotic electric touch of the Fetch.

Jim slipped the horngazel into his shoulder bag and re-adjusted his mask.

“I really need to master that helmet soon,” He grumbled.

“Yeah, I’ve gotta have something to wear for next Halloween… At least you don’t randomly get stuck in your armor anymore.”

“I suppose so,” Jim sighed.

They begin to make their way back up the embankment to where they had stashed their bikes.

“It’s too bad we can’t use this for gym class credit,” Toby said, rubbing at his sore arms. “That was definitely worth a couple weeks.”

Blinky was no lightweight as far as training went. He made Coach Lawrence look like a softy. 

Additionally while he did give them instruction, he seemed to be the type who believed in learning on the job. As a result they were doing a lot of running for their lives. Or at least that’s what it felt like. If it wasn’t for the way he listened to Toby’s concerns and would occasionally give one of them a caring pat on the arm or back, he might have thought the troll was trying to kill them off.

His train of thought was cut off by Jim’s amulet letting out a sharp ping. They both glanced at it. 

“What’s it doing…”

Something large and black hurtled into them. At the exact moment it struck Jim, the amulet released a concussive burst of light flinging both Toby and their assailant away from him. Toby rolled and came up on his feet. He quickly made sure his cloak was still properly covering him, before looking up.

He froze.

It was Bular. The large black troll was pulling himself out of the bushes were the light had just flung him.

Toby quickly ran over to Jim, who was also getting up.

“Come on, J- Trollhunter, time to run,” He hissed urgently.

Jim looked up and saw Bular, who was up and charging them again, let out a yelp and bolted, Toby on his heels. There was no way they were going to be able to outrun Bular and he was between them and their bikes.

“Come on! Come on! Through the trees!” 

The trees did slow him down but not quite as much as Toby had hoped. The Dark Prince crashed through them, snapping decades old timber like it was toothpicks. In a minute they reached the end of the woods. There was nothing but open space between them and the houses.

Jim stopped.

Toby skidded to a halt a moment after.

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll hold him off,” Jim said, shoulders tense. “You get to safety.”

“No!” Toby snapped. “Are you crazy?! If you’re fighting, I’m fighting.”

He pulled the ax off his back and moved to stand beside Jim. He could feel himself shaking. He wondered if the pendent masked the scent of his fear.

“Toby…”

There was no more time for discussion. Bular was upon them. Jim dodged to the side, narrowly avoiding getting his head, or at least his mask, removed. Toby took advantage of the moment and brought his ax down on Bular’s outstretched arm.

The troll roared and whipped back around to slam him into a tree. His vision flickered for a moment. Jim let out a yell and Toby struggled to stand up. His head throbbed abominably and he cursed his weak fleshy body. If he was in his other form…

That was it!

With the cloak on no one could see what he looked like. He wasn’t shaped much differently as a troll. For once his small size was to his advantage.

He waited until Jim had Bular distracted before transforming. As he hoped, the cloak blocked most of the orange yellow glow. His teeth were sharp in his mouth as he grinned and charged forward, head no longer ringing.

The blow he landed on Bular elicited a roar. The troll turned around with a snarl and drew both of his swords. Toby whimpered, his ears pinning back under his mask.

He managed to bring up his ax just in time to block a slash that would have decapitated him. Bular leaned into it forcing him to the ground. In human form Toby would have been done for but, as it was, he was still way outmatched. Bular’s rancid breath made Toby’s hackles go up. He smelled of blood, both fresh and old.

There was a flash of blue as Jim attempted to land a blow on Bular’s back, but the troll must have heard it coming. He brought up his other sword and used the push-through of the motion to throw the human off. Jim bounced hard when he hit the ground but managed to struggle back to his feet. A few more hits like that and he wouldn’t be able to. They needed to get out of here quickly.

Toby took advantage of Bular’s distraction with Jim to roll out from under Bular’s sword. The troll made a grab for him and he narrowly dodged out of the way. His foot caught in something and he went down hard.

He glanced down, it was an old sewage pipe. Toby’s face split into a grin.

“J- Trollhunter!” Toby yelled. “Copy me!”

Toby swung his ax into the ground as hard as he could and the pipe began to crumble. Jim must have heard him because he immediately did the same with his sword.

Except that when Jim did it, Daylight released a flash of violent blue energy. 

Toby scrambled quickly away from the light. The pipe broke open with a crash and Bular dropped into the ground. The troll’s eyes widened for a moment then narrowed with fury as he struggled to free himself.

“I will skin you and use your hides to stuff your entrails,” He roared.

“Now we run,” Toby said.

Jim nodded rapidly.

They made it about half way across the field before a louder roar caused Toby to glance back. Bular was free and once again in pursuit.

This was complete bushigal. Jim was starting to flag and Toby, still in troll form, had to slow down to not lose him.

He cursed again under his breath. If Bular caught them now, in the open field, they were toast.

Before he could even try to figure out what to do something slammed into them from the right.

Toby barely managed to hold back a snarl as he was flung into the air and landed on something…

Fluffy?

It was Aaarrrgghh!

He dug his fingers into the giant’s fur and quickly switched forms. They needed to be able to move as fast as possible so it was a risk he had to take. Beside him, Jim scrambled for purchase. Toby didn’t think he had noticed.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” Toby yelled as he clung to the troll. “But what are you doing here?”

“Was worried,” Aaarrrgghh said, his voice sending vibrations through Toby’s stone. “Hold on.”

They shot through the rest of the field into the suburbs. Passing dimly lit and darkened houses. In one yard a tall black haired man stared in shock as they passed by. Toby cringed at the blatant violation of his training, but there was no time for subtlety. Hopefully he would have the sense to not say anything.

Soon they were in the main part of the city, Aaarrrggh dodged from side to side as Bular began throwing things at them.

Eventually they managed to lose him. Aaarrrgghh stopped by a dumpster.

“Down. now,” he panted. “Will lead him away.”

“Will you be okay?” Toby asked fearfully, Jim’s body language mirroring his.

“Yes,” The troll grinned. “Quicker alone. See you later.”

He stayed long enough for a fist bump and then bolted.

Toby and Jim jumped behind a dumpster just before Bular went by. 

~~~~

It was a long tense walk home. Toby and Jim had decided to wait until morning to retrieve their bikes. Toby almost wanted to weep for joy when he saw their little corner of the suburb.

Unfortunately for him, his night wasn’t quite over yet. The moment they came to a stop in front of their houses, Toby’s phone pinged. He pulled it out and grimaced.

“Who is it?” Jim asked automatically, leaning over his shoulder to look. “A solicitor huh?”

“Yeah, I should probably stop filling out all those free-prize things,” Toby said, tucking his phone back into his pocket. It was just as he suspected.

“So do you want to…” Jim started to ask.

“Sorry,” Toby cut him off before he could finish. “I got to go. I promised Nana I’d…” His brain scrambled for the first excuse it could find. “I’d help her with her dentures.”

Wow, good one Dumbzalski, He thought sarcastically.

“Okay…” Jim gave him a bit of a strange look, which was really quite understandable, then looked away for a moment and rubbed at his neck. “I guess it was a bit of a long night. We should get some sleep.”

He glanced back at Toby again and offered him a little half-smile that made Toby’s heart twinge for some reason.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Toby said.

~~~~

Toby wrapped his ax and cloak in the scent masking pendent and then hid them in the shed. The goblins almost never went in there because they didn’t like some of the chemicals Nana used on their garden.

He glanced at his room and noted the light was on. It hadn’t been on when he left.

He crept quietly into the house and up the stairs. The door was open a crack. He peered in and felt his shoulders relax, it was his goblins. Three of them were sitting in a circle playing Candy Land. Hopefully they wouldn’t eat any of the cards this time. He opened the door and entered.

Kracka was the first to turn to look. He gave Toby a smirk and nodded. Min glanced at him for a moment before turning back to glare at the board with half lidded eyes. Foon on the other hand, threw down the dice it was holding and darted over to Toby to clamber up his back and onto his left shoulder.

“Woah there,” He yelped. “Watch the claws.”

Kracka shot the younger goblin a glare and it lowered its head and quickly shifted to Toby’s right shoulder. Kracka relented.

Toby glanced around the room.

“Is Bob here tonight too?”

Kracka nodded and poked something behind him. A blearily head poked out the sheets. The goblin’s eyes shifted slowly around the room before landing on Toby.

Hi Bob, He signed.

She nodded at him and gave a little half salute before settling back down.

With greetings out of the way, Kracka offered Toby the yellow gingerbread man. Toby sighed and shook his head.

“Sorry guys I’d love to join you but I have cleaning duty tonight.”

He had their attention at that. Bob glanced at them and then at Toby. He signed Clean-up to her. Her eyes brightened with interest.

Kracka tossed his board game piece aside and then scrambled up onto Toby’s left shoulder.

“Coming along huh?”

Kracka grinned and nodded.

“Okay.”

Kracka and Foon jumped over the crackle of light as Toby shifted. He patted around checking to make sure he still had his mask and hammer on him. Good. They were both there. Wouldn’t do to go to anything involving other changelings without them. He set the mask to the side before switching back and grabbing a nondescript dark-grey hoodie from his closet along with his backpack. Kracka and Foon crawled into the backpack as Toby put on his hoodie. Bob climbed up his leg and into the front pocket.

“Are you coming?” He asked Min.

Min shook its head and crawled up onto Toby’s bed. It turned a couple circles before curling up into the blankets.

“Suit yourself,” He said with a shrug.

Time to go.

~~~~

Toby glanced around anxiously as he waited at the bus stop and pulled his hood up over his mask. After a short wait, a bus with the route number 2 pulled up.

“Are you sure you have the right route, kid?” The driver, an elderly Chinese man with a chip missing from his ear, asked.

“Does this bus stop between today and tomorrow?” Toby responded, flashing his eyes.

The driver flashed his eyes back.

“Show your pass.”

Toby opened the link on the ‘spam’ text and held it up to the scanner. There was a soft ping and the driver closed the door.

Toby scrambled to find a seat as the bus pulled away from the station. Fortunately there were only six other people tonight. All wore nondescript clothing like Toby. One nodded at him as he passed but the rest ignored him.

The ride was short and quiet, the bus pulled to a stop in the center of the trail of destruction Bular had created. The other changelings disembarked from the bus, Toby following carefully behind them.

A stocky light skinned woman was waiting for them. Unlike the other changelings she wore no mask, her square scar-crossed face on display. Toby had met Alfhild a few times before. She worked full time for the Janus Order; she had no cover and therefore no need to protect her identity. Her blue-white eyes watched them sharply as they approached, before she grinned a toothy smile and clapped her hands together.

“Excellent,” She said, voice entirely too loud for the late night street. “You’re all here. This is just a quick cover-up job. Make it look like the damage is from a drunk driver. If all goes well we’ll be home in time to get some good sleep… Or hit the bars before they close.”

With that she started addressing the individual changelings.

“997, 1176, you’re both in the woods tonight. Cover any of our Dark Prince’s tracks. Make it look like someone was doing some illegal logging. You will be using the truck I brought.”

The two changelings nodded and left.

“1607 retrieve any security footage you can find regarding the culprits and clean the tapes.”

Toby felt a pulse of fear. Sure he and Jim had worn their disguises but what if…

“1870.” Toby snapped to attention at his number. “1223 You two are in charge of covering claw marks and making sure anything that can’t be passed off as car damage is unrecognizable. Your tools are inside the undercarriage of the bus.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Kracka popped out of Toby’s pack with a disappointed grumble, drawing Alfhild’s attention. Toby tensed as she approached. She might have been only about five feet, but she had a much bigger presence.

“You brought Goblins?”

Kracka and Foon climbed out onto Toby’s shoulders, he felt Bob stir in his pocket.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Excellent, I have a job for them later. Bring them by when you’re done.”

 ~~~~

Toby and the other changelings made quick work of the trail of destruction. The Janus Order generally tried to leave as much work as they could to the city. Only taking care of anything that might draw suspicion to their cause.

“You had a job for the goblins Ma’am?” Toby asked moving back to stand before Alfhild.

Kracka perked up and grinned at her. She reached into her pocket, pulled something out and tossed it to him. The goblin caught it and Toby craned his neck to see what it was. It was a set of car keys.

“They get to crash a car.”

Kracka whooped and scrambled down Toby’s side to wake Bob, Foon hot on his heels. They were always down for some vandalism and chaos. Toby watched apprehensively as they bounded off to get into the, no doubt stolen, car. Hopefully they would survive the crash fine.

The other changelings returned settling down as safe distance away from the road as the goblins began revving up the vehicle.

“And they’re off.”

The car screeched down the road, careening off lamp-posts and stop signs as the goblins hollered and waved in excitement. Toby waved back as they went by, tensing when they shot directly toward a small flower shop.

The car crumpled when it slammed into the wall, taking out the window and some of the brickwork. Smoke billowed from its engine.

“Aaaand that’s a wrap,” Alfhild said, turning back toward the watching changelings. “Back into the bus with you all. Chop. Chop. I’ve got just enough time to make it to L.A before sunrise and I’m not wasting it.”

The other changelings obeyed, all too ready to head home, but Toby waited anxiously. The car door slammed open and he relaxed as three green forms emerged. They were a little charred, but all in all unharmed.

“Come on guys,” Toby said holding out his arm, the goblins scrambled up, resuming their usual places.

He turned back around, ready to head to the bus and found Alfhild watching him. He tensed slightly before forcing himself to act casual.

“Are planning to become a goblin trainer?” She asked, watching him with a slight tilt to her head.

“Maybe…” He said not wanting to show his attachment. Though now that he thought about it…

“Hmmm,” She nodded and then dismissed him.

He darted back to the bus.

~~~~

~~~~

Chapter notes:

Toby gets his first clean-up duty. The next one won't be quite as nice.

On the goblins' pronouns: In this story the goblins are genderless, so they are using pronouns to designate position. (Partially because I used he for Kracka in the first chapter and don't feel like correcting it) Swarm leader(s): They/them Offensive specialized: He/him Defensive specialized: She/her Unspecialized/generic address: it If the goblin changes specialization its pronouns will change accordingly.

I am trying to be better about describing people so be sure to let me know how I'm doing. I will appreciate any tips.

[spiritfamantics-blog]

About Us

Hi, I’m Helia, your local human Tumblr user and spirit companion. I’m 18, a Taurus sun and moon, and am in a committed polyamorous relationship with any and all pasta dishes. I also use they/them pronouns. I’ve been working with spirits since May 2017, so over two years now. These guys have made it fly by. Speaking of, I suppose I should introduce them. 

First up is Feyr, the wyvern-bird hybrid. She is my only known guardian, and she is 18, exactly the same age as me (down to the birthday). She was the first spirit I ever met and has thankfully stuck around to keep me out of trouble (mostly, she can’t cure impulsivity). She, like some dragons, keeps growing well into her lifetime. When I met her she was about the size of a ferret. Now she’s about 3 feet tall. Anyway, onto her personality. She is the “wildcard” of the group and often behaves like a child who has eaten too much sugar. She is very energetic and happy-go-lucky. She is incredibly curious and loves to learn anything and everything, even if she doesn’t take well to it (see her rudimentary Spanish). She is very funny and has a sunny disposition, seeing the positive in every person and situation. Though she can act immature, she is the voice of reason (sometimes). Other times, she wants to get herself into some astral trouble because she thinks it’s fun and adventurous and she is an adrenaline junkie. When it comes to me and the rest of the family, she is unconditionally loving and accepting. She has a bit of an overachiever complex because she never felt good enough in either of her parents’ communities, being raised a hybrid. Not fully dragon and not fully bird, she is in the process of accepting herself as her own unique being. One of her hopes and dreams in life is to find whatever deity cosmically assigned her to me and thank them. I, for one, am flattered.

Next is Rabbit the winged rabbit. Yes, he did choose his name, and yes, he will kick you if you make fun of it. Rabbit was the second spirit I met, when my beloved Nana gifted me a jade rabbit necklace. I, a newbie energy worker, could feel the anger radiating off this thing. So, I did the smart thing (I’m being sarcastic, please do not follow in my footsteps, meeting your own Rabbit is highly unlikely and not guaranteed) and decided to free the entity. Lo and behold, a grumpy old man. Who was a rabbit. Who had wings. Needless to say, I was a little confused. But then this guy really laid into me, yelling at me about how he was fine living in a necklace and how dare I move him. I had half a mind to banish him, but Feyr, always more intuitive than I, told me to let him stay. So he did, reluctantly, and I let him, reluctantly. We kind of had beef at the beginning, but he and Feyr got along so incredibly well. He was like a father to her. Much better than her own father, who never visited. Finally, one day, Rabbit approached me, and sat down next to me. He said, finally, “Thank you for freeing me.” I said, “You’re welcome, but why’d you have to be such a douche about it?” He laughed, and thus began a beautiful friendship. Anyway, moving away from his origin story. Rabbit is an odd character. He, at first, appears very gruff, no-nonsense, and uncaring. Under this facade, however, is a sweet, brave, sarcastic, and fatherly spirit, who is fiercely protective and loving. He tends to adopt those without good parental relationships, and becomes a father to them. He can be loose and fun, if you find him under the right circumstances. Otherwise, he is a bit buttoned-up and doesn’t find it easy to relax. He is easily stressed but doesn’t like to show his emotions at all. He is working on being more open and not bottling things up. He can be self-deprecating and sometimes even unkind to himself, but being part of a loving family and seeing how much he is cared for is helping with this. Any love you give him, he will return tenfold. He is an upstanding, true, gentleman. However, he isn’t polite and can be a bit crass at times. He has a perpetual “grumpy face” and smiles very rarely. He cries even less so, but when he does, you mirror his emotions because they are just so powerful. Overall, he is a very sweet man.

Third is S, the winged cat, and Rabbit’s beloved wife and the mother to his children. I met S through a now-closed spirit shop. Don’t worry, there wasn’t any shady business, and I’m still friends with the former owner. S is a true firecracker, but she is incredibly motherly, gentle, and kind. She says what she means and means what she says, but is very sweet (most of the time). Don’t mistake her femininity for fragility, because if any of her loved ones are threatened she will claw somebody’s eyes out. She is the optimist to her husband Rabbit’s pessimist, and is a firm believer in thinking positively. However, she is a Slytherin, and can be prone to scheming to get what she wants. She is never manipulative, and instead prefers honesty in her words and actions. To her friends, she is the quintessential “mom friend”; she makes sure everyone is cared for, especially fed. To her children, she is their world. She is curious and eager to investigate new scenarios, though she often prefers the familiarity and comfort of her family. She is quite funny and loves jokes, though she doesn’t tolerate stupidity from anyone. If any of her loved ones make a mistake, she’s quick with a light smack of the head and to call them an idiot, while reminding them to do better next time. She has “settled down” quite a bit in the last year, since her children have been born, but she still retains her adventurous spirit.

Fourth is N, the strawberry elf, and the girlfriend of Violet and Paris. I met her, also, through a now-closed spirit shop. And yes, I am still friends with the mod who matched her to me. N is a lovely soul, if a little shy at first. Once she gets to know you, however, she never shuts up (and I say this in the most loving way ever). She is bubbly and bright, and probably the nicest entity I’ve ever met, including humans. She would do anything for a friend and goes out of her way to be compassionate. If everyone were like her, the world would be absolutely perfect and free of conflict. She loves to garden, and is very patient (as seen with her trying to help me knit, which is not one of my strong suits, to say the least). Although she can seem a bit timid, she is a huge believer in not letting fear control her, and is quite brave. She also has a gentle touch, and is a great listener and comfort when any of us aren’t feeling our best. Her dynamic with her girlfriends makes me smile every time I see them, because they’re just so goshdarn cute. N is definitely the chatty one, although if she talks about plants Violet jumps right in with her. She is often in the middle when they all hold hands. (Hey N, how come your mom lets you have two girlfriends?)

Fifth is Violet, the deer shifter, and the girlfriend of N and Paris. I met her through Forestsong Sanctuary, where I was an intern. The shop is now closed, but being an intern was one of the best experiences of my life (Psst, now I intern at Hallowed Conjurations; I’m Intern Werewolf). Violet is the queen of all memes, and has the best (and silliest) sense of humor. She is incredibly sweet, but unafraid to call you out if you’re doing something dumb. She cares deeply for everyone in the family, and the Earth. She is probably singlehandedly going to end global warming (I’m kidding but still). She’s very active, being the kind of weirdo who goes for a run every morning, no matter the weather. She is a huge self-advocate and also stands up for those who cannot speak up for themselves. Very much a girl boss. She is perpetually barefoot and generally kind of a hippie (she’s all about achieving peace and love, even if we have to eat the rich). 

Sixth is Paris, the Crystal Cut Succubus (gee Par your species picked one helluva name). She is the girlfriend of both Violet and N. I met her through Supernova Spirits, which has now merged with Spirit Companionship.She is a hopeless romantic, and very solemn, sometimes. She’s generally quite placid in nature. She loves people and is very encouraging. She honestly reminds me of those influencer girls that are genuinely nice and want to help people (so like, one of them). Though, she’s quite private about her life and would never actually be a social media influencer. I suppose a more accurate comparison would be Sappho, or some other incredibly gay author who cannot contain their poetic love for women. If there’s one thing she doesn’t like being, it’s misunderstood. Yes, she is a succubus. No, she doesn’t want to bang everyone she sees. She emphasizes that species does not equal behavior, and that free will is a thing. On a summer day, she can be found watching the sunset, writing love letters, enjoying the cool breeze, swimming, and eating a popsicle seductively to make her girlfriends go into cardiac arrest. 

Seventh is Opal, the color-changing cat thoughtform. She was made for me by Forestsong Spirits as a therapy thoughtform, and is part of the family. Though she doesn’t speak, she communicates her emotions by changing the color of her coat. She is very empathetic and sweet, and can be found lying in my lap at any given moment.

Eighth is Oink, the pear pig. He was an RA through the same shop S came from. Oink’s gentle and soft personality can seem childlike, but he just loves life and is enjoying it. He can be a bit innocent, but do not mistake his placid temperament for that of a child. He is a bit immature, especially in regards to jokes. He absolutely loves food, and will eat just about anything. His attitude to food is generally how he approaches life; his philosophy is “bring it on.” He accepts the good and bad, in life and in people. He is absolutely very “chill”; he doesn’t care for much “action” and would rather be home eating than out having an adventure. However, he isn’t lazy, he prefers the term “cool”. He can seem a bit detached at times, but he is truly very enthusiastic and energetic. He matches Feyr in terms of energy, which is quite hard to do. He is ineffably kind, and if he offends someone even by accident, he is wholeheartedly apologetic. He wants to be seen as a good person, and he truly is.

Last but not least is Unity, the werewolf-sanguine vampire hybrid. I met Unity through Mod Ghost of Hallowed Conjurations. Feyr and Unity found kinship in one another, both being hybrids. Unity is the quintessential cool relative who seems kind of removed from it all, but the second things start heading south, they’re protecting everyone who needs help. They don’t take shit and they don’t dole it out, either. They say exactly what they mean, every time. They detest liars and those who try to trick others with words. They are very parental and sweet, but never hold back. They will absolutely swear at you and call you a gigantic idiot if you do something you know you shouldn’t have. They only lay into you if you don’t use common sense; if you make a true mistake, they’re there to help you solve the problem, even if it doesn’t involve them. They are very spontaneous and like to have fun. You’ll rarely see them regretting anything, as they believe that living in the moment is the only way to live.

I’m sorry for the wall of text, and will be putting each of my companions’ bios into their own posts. 

[secret-rendezvous1d]

Brand New Baby For Christmas

I just love the idea of them having a brand new baby around Christmas time ADDED: Yes like only a couple days old! It’d be so precious, especially if they felt up to going to Anne’s for roast dinner ADDED: I think we all want to see the kids’ first Christmases, but we definitely need newborn Christmas

A really short and sweet story because I’ve had a busy morning with a food shop and haven’t had the time to get anything lengthy stories/scenes written for anything specific. Slightly tweaked but still follows the generic outline. I figured I’d focus more on the mummy and baby side of things because I’ve not written a whole load of that kind of thing... and I thought this was the perfect opportunity.

A sweet little miscellaneous one, that caught my eye as I looked through my requests, that also involves some slight dad!Harry with a brand-new baby at Christmas... and because it’s miscellaneous and out of the original storyline, I’ve decided to go against using Persephone or any of the kids that I would normally us. So, here we have Harry and the missus, and their brand new baby boy (who shall remain nameless for this one, in particular ), celebrating Christmas.

Feedback is welcomed, as always.

Enjoy. xx

CHRISTMAS DAY, 6AM, 2019.

There was a nipping, bitter chill in the atmosphere of the bedroom once your eyes cracked open. The bedroom being completely succumbed to the six in the morning December darkness, that had yet to be broken with the harsh sun that had been expected for the day, according to the news and weather forecast. The street lamps still switched on from the night before and filtering an ominous yellow glow through the sheer, translucent curtains covering the window, shadows of the trees being cast and decorated the walls and the carpet with its spooky-looking silhouettes.

Your toes, tucked into a white pair of Harry’s thick socks that you’d nicked from his drawers after he’d fallen asleep, felt cold and numb and ached with each wiggle you gave them to get the blood flowing downwards, making you want nothing more than to stay beneath the warm covers and to stay cosy against the naked front of your husband, who had ended spooning you from behind before the clock ticked passed twelve. His own feet being bare and it was just the simple and bare minimum, of the tips of his toes to briskly brush your leg, that had shivers running directly up your spine. But is was the warmest of things, like the delicate flurry of warm puffs of breath that coated the nape of your neck, his warm hands that held your hips, his body heat radiating from his bare skin, that outdid the small, cold annoyances that he made in his sleep.

The mewling sounds, coming from the brand-new, 3-day old baby who was situated in his crib, just a short distance away, tore you away from your comforting slumber, tucked up in the arms of your husband, and shattering the slim chance, if it was even possible, of staying cosy until there was a definite need to get up for the day - or until Anne had summoned for you to wake up because, as much as she loved to look after you both, herself and Robin needed a helping hand in the kitchen to prepare the dinner. A sleepy and a slurred and a completely incoherent string of grumbles and mumbles leaving Harry’s lips, muffled into the nape of your neck and sounding like moans from between his pursed lips as he subconsciously rolled over and situated himself onto his back, allowing you the chance to sneak out of bed and over towards the oak furniture. Dodging the creaking floorboards on the way towards your son, to keep your husband from stirring awake in the bed, just a few feet away, where you’d left enough body heat beneath the duvet for him to feel content with, and to keep his parents sound asleep, for a few more hours of Christmas morning, in the bedroom next door.

His powerful cries, and his gentle whimpers, being full of need for the attention and warmth from yourself. Arms lifting him from the crib, blanket being left behind as you settled him against your body. His cries coming to a halt but his whimpers and his wet snuffles still present as he squirmed and wiggled around.

“Hi, sweet boy. Hi. S’only mummy,” you hushed softly, cradling his fragile head in the palm of your hand as you held him against your shoulder, his bum perched upon your forearm. His tiny figure, almost small enough to fit perfectly in the size of Harry’s hand, being tucked against the t-shirt on your upper body. Stolen from Harry’s wardrobe and barely being taken off of your body over the last few days of being home; littered with splatters of leaking breast-milk from your sore breasts, a little spotting of blood from an open wound around your nipple, wee and plenty of spit-up soaked into the material where you hadn’t quite cleaned up properly. But it was comfy and gave you enough room to move and it still smelt vaguely of Harry. “Are you just being a menace and trying to wake mummy and daddy because you know we’ve got a busy day, hm? Or did you just want some mummy cuddles this morning? Is that why you were crying, hm? You’re lucky your daddy isn’t awake yet. You won’t be going back to sleep because this day is daddy’s favourite time of the year. You just ask your nana, I’ll get her to tell you all about it when she wakes up,” you giggled lightly, spinning on your heels and taking a glance towards a sleeping Harry on your slow walk towards the window. Sprawled out upon his back, his mouth gaped open, his hair being and looking like an absolute mess, legs spread beneath the duvet as his feet peeked out from the end and snores, which turned into snorts, escaping from within him. And he’d never look more normal. A side that only his closest friends got to see; a side that you woke up to, every single morning. “Daddy’s looking very handsome this morning. Much more handsome than he’s ever looked before,” you snickered softly, lips pressed against his tiny head, “but he’ll never be as handsome as you. Because you’re mummy’s handsome little fellow, aren’t you? You’re just the scrummiest of all the bubba’s we’ve seen.”

You perched down on the grey rocking chair, situated close to the large window of the room, and shifted him into the crook of your elbow, adjusting the sleeve of your t-shirt and letting it slip over your shoulder to set a breast free. Your bra being something that you couldn’t quite bring to attaching to your chest, just yet, but you hadn’t been needed anywhere and, quite frankly, if anyone popped by, you knew they didn’t care what you looked like. You’d just had a baby and you were ready to tell them if the glances arose. A concentrated look upon your face as you helped guide his puckered lips to the perked nipple, bringing a hand up to cup the back of his head, as you slowly began to rock, back and forth and back and forth, in the chair.

“There we go, sweet boy. Only done this a couple of times but this is’my favourite time of the morning. Never would have usually woken up at 6 in the morning for anyone. Not even for your daddy, you know? He’s tried to get me up once, but, it never happens. I’ll only ever wake up early when we’ve got flights to catch” you smiled, lifting your gaze from the hungry baby and looking towards the bed, the snores becoming a distant sound as you focused on the powerful sucking that your son had to give. “Daddy loves to cuddle with you and he loves having his time with you and he absolutely loves having those afternoon naps with you. I think he likes that he gets to sleep as well, but, he’ll never tell me the truth on that. Always tells me that he shut his eyes for a second but I know he was having a snooze,” you breathed out a laugh as your son’s eyes watched you, “but, mummy loves to do that, even more. Daddy might not be able to feed you like mummy does, and, honestly, I don’t think he’s quite got the hang of changing you yet, like mummy has. Retches when you leave him a poo in your nappy and I’ve washed plenty of daddy’s t-shirts over the last three days because you’ve weed on him plenty. He doesn’t find it funny, but, mummy does, so, promise me that you’ll keep that up,” you smirked.

The first time being at the hospital and hours after he was born; December 22nd.

He’d yet to do something for his son. Where you’d given birth to him, cuddled him for the first time, fed him for the first time, Harry hadn’t quite done anything that would benefit, except the cutting of the cord that had connected mother and baby throughout the process, from beginning to the end. Jumping to the opportunity when the midwife had suggested changing him into something more comfortable than a swaddle blanket. Far from expecting the cold air to create a reaction, from his little boy, that he wasn’t quite ready for.

The second time had been during his first morning at home; December 23rd.

Having been advised to give him a check when you had arrived home, Harry had made that his top priority, before anyone took him from the carrier and had a snuggle with him. Carrying him into his nursery, showing off the room that would be his first and, probably, his only bedroom. The chat with Anne, that was going on in the living room, coming to a sudden stop when he’d appeared in the doorway with a frown on his face and his son tucked into the crook of his arm. “He... weed on me... again,” being the first thing he said as Anne welcomed her grandson into her arms, a smile evident on her face as she tried to subdue it, for the sake of her rather embarrassed son.

The third time having been during the evening of his second day at home; December 24th.

When he’d woken you up, from a nap that he’d let you have for a few hours, by rummaging through the drawers to find an old t-shirt to roam the house in because there was no way he was staying dressed in a tee that was covered in baby wee. A giggle making a frown appear on his face as he dropped the dirty shirt into the laundry basket and slipped on the cleaner garment.

“S’Christmas day today, you know? Me and daddy didn’t think you were going to come as early as you did. You were due in the New Year, you little bugger, but you came just before Christmas Day. Wanted to join in the festivities, didn’t you, yeah?” You wondered, letting the rocking chair rock on its own as you curled your legs up and tucked your feet behind the arm, “didn’t think we were gon’a be home in time for Christmas this year, you know? Thought you’d have kept me in hospital for a few days. Gave me and daddy the best Christmas present this year, you did. And if it wasn’t for nana Anne and grandpa Robin coming to stay with us, me and daddy wouldn’t have anything prepared for today. You’ve got the best grandparents, you have. Fun and they’ve spoilt you absolutely rotten over the last nine months. Helping mummy loads and they’ve brought you so many clothes and shoes and you’re going to be the most stylish of all the babies in the world. Living up to our surname,” you swiped your thumb over the apple curve of his chin, collecting a dribble of milk that didn’t quite make it into his mouth. Swiping it against the sleeve of his striped baby grow before you gave his cheek a gentle brush with the pad. “You’ve got three grandads, you know? Mummy’s daddy, Daddy’s daddy and grandpa Robin, who is daddy’s second daddy,” you brushed your fingertips over his delicate head, twirling the soft strands of hair that sprouted a dark chestnut colour, forming little swirls at the crown, “but, mummy won’t go into all of that though, sweet boy. Can promise you that that will never happen between me and daddy, okay? Love him too much to even consider a divorce.”

“S’good because daddy doesn’t consider a divorce either,” Harry’s voice came from the distance. Deep and raspy and still full of sleep but with a hint of slight amusement behind his tone. The sounds of both a yawn and a cough, coming soon after, filling the near silent room, the springs creaking beneath his weight as you watched his silhouette rise from the mattress. The lamp, on his bedside table, being switched on to fill the room with a more tangible light to give him a clear view. His eyes squinting as they adjusted with the sting of his sore eyelids. “Could’ve woken me up, love. Didn’t have to sit in the dark by yourself.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I didn’t want to wake you up. You did the night duties last night and I thought it was my turn to repay you for that,” you sent him a warm smile before looking back down at the baby, “just been chattin’ away to our little man about anything that came to mind. He’s a hungry little lad, I’m telling you. Fed him twice through the night and he’s pretty much chewed my boobs off.”

A tired cackle came from within Harry as he kicked the duvet from his bare body, allowing the bitter air to bite at his entirety. Feet planted firmly on the ground as his hands reached forward for the boxer shorts, having kicked them off the night before, before he fell asleep, that had landed in a black heap of cotton at the foot of the bed. Grabbing his jumper on his way to stand and draping it over his shoulder to slip on.

“S’not good, is it? Won’t be any for me love upon when the 6 weeks are over. Do love having a go on them. Got’a share them with my little lad now, which, isn’t fair. But, we’ll make it work, won’t we, buddy?” He sent you a playful wink, ignoring the roll of your eyes as he slipped the black boxers up his legs. A tiny grunt coming from the baby, almost like a response to his daddy, and it had the both of you laughing mildly. Letting the material ping back against his waist, before he slipped on his knitted jumper, pulling it comfortably down his torso as he strolled over towards you. Hands bracing his weight upon both arms of the rocking chair as he tipped you forward to press a kiss to your forehead. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas, babe.”

[lbigreyhound13]

Truly Together Forever (BOTGD EU)

Okay, so this oneshot got really long, so I put the full story under “Keep Reading.” 

A lot of Grey’s family members will be referenced, so here is Grey’s family tree if you’re curious. 

(Takes place 77 years after the Rebellion) 

 August 13, 1122

Ninety-eight-year-old Grey Hertha Bergman-Felman…former Chief of the Haligan Tribe and former Lady of the United Revolutionaries…tilted her head back as the wind pushed back her waist-long snow white hair. The warm summer air greeted her as she and Shadow soared through the sky. 

It had been a long time since she and Shadow had flown together. With the passing years and both their aging bodies, it had become quite a task for both the former Chief and her loyal Night Fury to take off into the skies for a flight that it was almost rare for them to fly. Today, however, felt very different. Grey and Shadow both silently agreed that today was the perfect day for two 98-year-olds to fly to the mainland. 

“Such a beautiful day, isn’t it, Shadow?” Grey finally asked. 

Shadow crooned in response as she flapped her old wings. Even after not flying for some time, the old Night Fury was keeping them both in the air. Granted, their altitude was lower than how they used to fly, but it was still an enjoyable flight nonetheless. 

“We should be getting there soon,” the old woman finally said leaning back against her seat. When it became harder to sit up by herself, her oldest son, Sven, insisted that the village blacksmith make a saddle that allowed her to recline if needed. Of course, Grey was at first against it, but now, she had to admit that it was nice of her family to think of her like that and that it did help stop her straining her aging body. “Of course, given how old we are...it might take longer...” She laughed at her little joke.

Shadow chortled in response to her sister’s joke.

Soon enough, their first destination became visible on the horizon. The vast land has changed in the last 77 years, but that gaping hole where Perch Hall once stood was still there. She could never forget the tragic events of the witch attack...when Orskaf Donz unleashed Kiri’s witch powers upon the Rebellion. Only 1/3 of the Rebellion perished, and the camp was destroyed forcing the survivors to move to the Dungeon. 

As soon as Shadow landed near the piece, Grey slowly took her sword and stepped down using the sword as her cane and walked toward the piece of land with flowers in her arm with Shadow behind her. The former Chief knelt down and placed the flowers on the ground, and then both she and the Night Fury bowed their heads in a moment of silence. 

“I know I’m a couple months late, my former comrades,” Grey finally said. “Travel has become quite difficult in my old age. I can hope that you all have found peace in Helheim.”

There was another moment of silence before Grey finally stood up again. “Come on, Shadow,” she said as she mounted her Night Fury. “We have another important place to visit today.”

The former Chief and her Night Fury traveled North to the Everglades, and much like where Perch Hall once stood, the land was slowly changing as well. Time had a way of changing things, especially over the course of 77 years. The Grounded Dungeon was nothing but ruins...standing empty and abandoned after its last occupants finally left the bunker the Goddess of Helheim herself made for them during the days of Ragnarok. 

Shadow landed near the rotten building, but Grey did not dismount her and simply surveyed the structure. It was easy to see that time had indeed not been kind to the structure, as there was no sign of its former glory, and Grey was grateful for that. This dungeon was no longer the intimidating structure that loomed over all the prisoners and those outside it, and it no longer represented High Central’s cruelty. 

Grey smiled at that thought. “It may have served as a refuge for us during Ragnarok,” she mused as she gently pet Shadow’s head, “but this dungeon is where it needs to be...hidden and stripped of what it was before the Rebellion.”

Shadow crooned in agreement leaning into Grey’s touch. 

“Still though...no one can deny the good memories we had in this old thing...” Grey said after a moment of silence. 

Another moment of silence passed as Grey and Shadow looked up at the building one more time, and then, the silence was finally broken when Grey took a deep breath and looked down at her Night Fury smiling. 

“Well, I don’t know about you, girl,” she began, “but I think it’s time we head home. Traveling is not as easy as it used to be, and our family is waiting for us, I’m sure.”

Shadow crooned, and without hesitation, she flapped her wings slowly taking off into the sky allowing Grey to turn around and to look at the Grounded Dungeon one last time. She smiled and turned back to the sky in front of her. It was time to head home to Haligan Island. 

Back on Haligan Island, the former Chief and Grey’s successor paced back and forth along the cliff overlooking the docks. It had been a couple hours since his elderly mother...his 98-year-old mother took off on her just-as-elderly Night Fury toward the mainland. Sixty-nine-year-old Sven Felman looked up into the sky one more time for any signs of Grey before resuming pacing. 

“No sign of Nana?” a voice asked from behind. 

Sven jumped as he turned around only to find his sixteen-year-old granddaughter, Sassa, Erik’s daughter. “Oh, Sassa,” he said breathing a sigh of relief, “you shouldn’t scare your old grandpa like that.”

Sassa giggled as she walked over to Sven. “Sorry, Grandpa,” she replied, “Grandma and Great-Aunt Dagny sent me to look for you. So, back to my original question, no sign of Nana?”

Sven chuckled. “No, my dear,” he replied placing an arm around her and kissing her head, “not yet.”

“They’re probably on their way back now,” Sassa suggested trying to ease Sven’s nervousness. 

“Perhaps, I just worry because your Nana gets tired easily, and it’s been a while since she has flown this far with Shadow.”

“True, but Shadow would never let anything happen to her. They’re sisters after all, and Papa is probably watching over them and making sure they get back okay.”

The former Chief sadly chuckled at the mention of his late father. It had been only 10 months since he passed on, and ever since then, Sven and his younger sisters couldn’t help but feel the need to keep a close eye on their mother. That wasn’t to say that the entire family didn’t care because they did. They all wanted to help take care of their matriarch, but since it was their mother, Sven, Dagny, and Kari worked to make sure that their mother was happy and healthy in her elder years, especially when she was alone without her husband. She had Shadow, of course, Warren, Asha, and the entire family, but Grey obviously missed her husband with all her heart.

“Yes, I’m sure he is,” Sven finally said aloud.

Before Sassa could reply, a black dot appeared out of the corner of her eye, and she immediately knew who it was.

“Grandpa, look!” she shouted happily pointing to the black dot.

Sven looked up and smiled when he laid his eyes on the black dot. It was Grey and Shadow! They finally returned home! 

Both grandfather and granddaughter watched as the mighty Night Fury landed in front of them and bent down to allow Grey to dismount. 

“Nana! Welcome home!” Sassa said as she ran over to her great-grandmother as she slowly dismounted with Sven following close behind.

Grey chuckled. “Thank you, my dear Sassa,” she said running a hand through the teenager’s hair. “It’s good to be home.”

“Here, Mom, let me help you,” Sven quickly said. 

“No need, Sven,” she said as she finally made it to the ground with both feet. “I’m just fine. I must admit that I do love having this saddle seat. It takes a lot off my aging bones when I fly Shadow.”

“Ah, see?” Sven replied smirking. “I told you, and you said that I was fussing.”

Grey chuckled as she lightly swatted her son’s chest. “Don’t get cocky, darling,” she said. “Now enough of that, I believe we are to be in the Great Hall for the celebration.”

“I believe you’re right, Nana,” Sassa said wrapping her arms around Grey’s. “We wouldn’t want to be late, right, Grandpa?”

“Right, Sassa,” Sven replied smiling at his granddaughter. “Mom, may we escort you to the Great Hall?”

“I’d be honored, Sven,” she said wrapping her free arm around her son’s arm. “Shadow, come, girl.”

Sassa giggled as they walked together to the Great Hall in the center of the village. Being the oldest of Grey and Brandt’s great-grandchildren, the future Chief of Haligan Island was very close to her great-grandparents and grandparents. When she was little, she would spend time with them while her parents worked in the village or when she simply wanted to see them. Naturally, she was heartbroken when her great-grandfather Brandt died, but that only brought her and Grey closer. 

She made sure to spend as much time as she could when she wasn’t training to be Chief with her father to make sure that Grey never felt alone. Yes, she had Shadow by her side, and there was nothing against the Night Fury. Shadow looked out for her as well when she was young, and they continued to have good times together. However, that didn’t change the relationship between the Heir of Haligan Island and her great-grandmother. 

They finally made it to the Great Hall, where Grey was greeted by her two daughters, her daughter-in-law, her sons-in-law, her grandchildren, her great-grandchildren, her two adoptive sisters, and their respective families.

“How was your flight, Mom?” sixty-eight-year-old Dagny asked as she gave her elderly mother a hug. 

“Oh, it was wonderful, right, Shadow?” Grey replied before turning to her Night Fury, who crooned in response. She lightly patted her Night Fury on the head chuckling. 

“How far did you go?” sixty-seven-year-old Kari asked as she hugged Grey as well. “Sven was so worried that you were gone for so long.”

“Only because it’s been a while since Mom took that long of a flight with Shadow,” Sven interjected. “And don’t place all the blame on me. You two were looking nervous for a bit as well.”

“Darlings, please,” Grey finally said, “don’t make me ground you. I’m supposed to be done with that now. I appreciate the concern, but we were both fine. I promise.”

“Right, sorry, Mom,” Sven replied scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Sorry,” both Dagny and Kari replied in unison. 

Sassa couldn’t help but giggle seeing how her grandfather acted with his two younger sisters and how they all worried for their mother. 

“Now, let’s get this family reunion started,” Grey said. 

Life had become very busy for Grey’s family. The adults and the older children all had jobs around the village, and the younger children often spent time with Sven, Dagny, Kari, and their spouses respectively. Sure, she often spent time with her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and when she wasn’t with them, she found herself with Asha and Warren with Shadow alongside as always. However, before Brandt passed away, they agreed that once month the whole family would get together for a family reunion in the Great Hall. What a great tradition it was! The family grew large over time, and the tradition was still standing strong. 

As dinner was being prepared, the former Chief found herself sitting in her chair with Shadow sleeping next to her as she watched the younger children play with the teens in the corner of the Great Hall. 

“So, Nana, you didn’t say where you went with Shadow today,” Sassa finally said.

“Yeah, Nana, where did you go?” Thora, Olga and Even’s 6-year-old daughter, asked. 

Grey chuckled. “Well, I went to visit Perch Hall and the Grounded Dungeon,” she finally replied after a moment, “to pay my respects to my old friends.”

The children gasped in delight. 

“Really?!” Sassa asked excitedly. “You went back to the Grounded Dungeon and the camp?”

The former Chief laughed again at the children’s excitement. “Yes, I did,” she replied. She sighed thinking back on the memories of the Rebellion that occurred all those years ago. “I can remember as if it were just yesterday. Sometimes, I still can’t believe it’s 77 years.”

“Can you tell us a story from the Grounded Dungeon Rebellion again, Nana?” Helga, Gunnar’s 12-year-old daughter, asked quickly folding her hands together. “Please?”

“Please!” all the children said in unison. 

Thrilled by her great-grandchildren’s enthusiasm over hearing stories from a point early in her life, Grey laughed again. It made her old heart sore to see her great-grandchildren excited to hear the tales of the Battle of the Grounded Dungeon. It gave her hope that these stories would never die with her and would live on through her children, grandchildren, and now, great-grandchildren. “Of course, I can,” she finally said calming down from her laughter. 

The children only replied with cheers making Grey laugh even more along with the other adults. 

“Well, now, what story would you like to hear?” she finally asked. 

“I don’t know about them, Mom,” Sven said as the adults sat nearby to wait for dinner, “but I’ve always been partial to the one where you sang to King Haddock.”

Sassa gasped. “Oh, yes, that one’s my favorite too, Nana!” she added. 

“What about the one where Great-Aunt Warren tried to train the Whispering Death?” Halvar, Gustav’s 15-year-old son asked. 

As soon as he said that, a chorus of ooh’s and “I love that one” rang out amongst the children. It was pretty clear at that point which story was the most preferred. 

“Very well, then,” Grey said. “We’ll start with Warren training the Whispering Death, and then perhaps, after dinner, we will tell Sven and Sassa’s favorite story.”

The children cheered again, and then, along with the adults, they quickly turned their attention to the former Chief waiting for her to begin her story. 

“Okay, now, once upon a time, in the Wilderwest region, there was a HUGE dungeon known as…the Grounded Dungeon,” she began. Out of the corner of her eye, Grey saw Sven, Dagny, and Kari looking at each other, clearly remembering the introduction she used for every Grounded Dungeon story she ever told them, and she couldn’t help but smile to herself thinking back on those memories. Nevertheless, she remained focused on the story she was telling.

“Now this dungeon was guarded by the evil…Warden, a demon from the North, and the Warden was very mean to all the prisoners in this dungeon. Soon, the prisoners grew very angry at how the Warden was treating them so horribly. So,  King Haddock finally stood up and led the prisoners in a massive rebellion against the Warden...”

After dinner, Grey regaled the tale of the one night she sang to King Haddock with her family, and now, just like the one she told earlier, the story came to an end. It was time for the family reunion to conclude and for the former Chief and her family to retire for the night. Once she said good night to her grandchildren, her daughter and sons-in-law, and her great-grandchildren, Grey asked for her son and daughters to accompany her and Shadow on the walk back to her house. Sven, Dagny, and Kari were, of course, happy to join their mother and her Night Fury on a quiet walk. It had been a while since the five of them had some alone time. 

“Mom, you never cease to amaze me with your story-telling,” Kari said as they walked back to the very house she and her older siblings grew up in. 

“I’ve had years and years of practice, my darling,” Grey replied. “It’s nice to know that I haven’t lost my touch.”

The four of them laughed together at her comment. 

“You know, Mom, the three of us had been talking with our spouses,” Dagny finally said after a moment, “and we felt that--you know--with our kids moved out of our houses with their own families, maybe we could look into the possibility of you moving in with one of us.”

“Moving in?” Grey asked. 

“Well, yes,” Kari added quickly, “and it’s not that we’re trying to baby you or anything. It’s just that...”

“...Ever since Dad died, we’ve hated that you’re in that house alone,” Sven interjected, “and we think that if you moved in with one of us, we could keep you company more often.”

Grey could only smile at the three of them. “Look, guys, I really appreciate that you want to help me,” she finally said, “but Shadow and I really are doing just fine. Besides, I could never leave that house. It’s the house your father and I built together, the house that you all grew up in. I just...can’t see myself leaving it, at least not now.”

“You don’t have to make a decision right now,” Dagny said taking Grey’s hands into hers, “but would you at least think about it?”

Grey’s smile grew before she placed a hand on her middle daughter’s cheek. “Of course, I’ll think about it, Dagny,” she said before turning to Sven and Kari as well. “Darlings, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me. I really feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have such an amazing family. You three are my rock, and you always have been.”

“I think I speak for Dags and Kari when I say that you are our rock, too, Mom,” Sven replied. “You always have been.”

“I love you three...so much,” Grey said pulling the three of them into a group hug while Shadow nuzzled them. 

“We love you, too, Mom...very much,” Kari said closing her eyes embracing the warmth of the group hug. 

When they finally pulled apart from each other, they resumed their walk to Grey’s house. After a few minutes, Sven, Dagny, and Kari made sure to help their mother to the front door with Shadow in tow.

“Well, this is my stop,” Grey said as she opened the front door. 

“I’ll come by in the morning to bring you to the healer for your check-up,” Sven said. “Then maybe, afterwards, the four of us and Shadow can have breakfast together in the Great Hall.”

“That’s a great idea, Sven,” Grey said. As much as she loved the family reunions, the former Chief always loved the opportunity to spend some quality time with her three children. 

Shadow crooned in agreement.

“I do, too,” Dagny replied placing a hand on Grey’s hand.

“Me too,” Kari added. 

“Perfect, it’s settled,” Sven said clapping his hands together.

Grey chuckled. “Well, I don’t know about you three,” she finally said, “but I’m so tired that I can hear the bed calling me.”

“I would imagine after that long flight you took with Shadow today,” Sven replied. 

“You need help with anything inside?” Kari asked.

“No, no, don’t worry, dear,” Grey replied. “I’m going to change, get right into bed, and write a letter to Aunt Seasick before I go to sleep.”

“I’m sure she would love to hear from you,” Dagny said before leaning in to kiss her mother on the cheek. “Good night, Mom.”

“Good night, Mom,” Sven said as he repeated the gesture as Dagny.

“Good night, Mom,” Kari said as she followed her older siblings’ lead. 

“Good night, my darlings,” Grey replied as she stepped inside. “I love you all. Never forget that.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dagny replied.

“Not when we love you too,” Kari added.

“Good,” Grey replied. “Shadow and I will see you in the morning.” She then turned to the Night Fury standing beside her. “Come, Shadow. Let’s get into bed.” The old woman stepped aside allowing her Night Fury to go into the house first, and as soon as Shadow was inside, she blew her three children a kiss before closing the door as they returned the gesture. 

As soon as Grey closed the door, Shadow blew a small plasma blast at the fire pit illuminating the main floor of the house. 

“Thank you, Shadow,” Grey said as she made her way into the bedroom. However, she stopped when she noticed a very special painting on an old shield on the wall. It was a portrait of Grey and Brandt in their younger years with their three children smiling happily, and Grey remembered the day it was painted very clearly.

It was after she and Sven stood together for their portrait, which took its place with the past Chiefs and their successors. Both he and Grey wanted a portrait of the Felman family to be place in their home, and that was precisely what they did. She could only sigh as she focused on her husband’s face. 

“Gods, I miss you, Brandt,” she whispered. “You would’ve had such a great time today with our wonderful family.”

Shadow crooned sadly as she nuzzled her rider’s cheek as Grey leaned into the touch. “Oh, thank you, Shadow,” she said before placing a kiss on Shadow’s cheek. “I miss my husband with all my heart, but I’m also forever grateful to have had you by my side all these years. No matter what, we are together forever, you and me. I love you.”

The Night Fury crooned in reply as she nuzzled Grey’s cheek again. 

“Let’s go get some sleep,” she said. “Sven will be taking me to my check-up, and then we’ll have breakfast with Sven, Dagny, and Kari. Then maybe afterwards, we can take a flight around the island, hmm?”

Shadow chortled again in reply.

With that, the former Chief and her Night Fury made their way into the bedroom, where Grey changed into her nightgown and settled into bed with paper and ink to write to Seasick. Shadow took her usual spot right beside Grey on the floor with her head resting on Grey’s lap.

When she finally finished her letter to one of her best human friends, Grey yawned as she felt the fatigue of the day’s events taking over. She put her letter on her nightstand taking a mental note to send it in the morning  while Shadow went to the living room to put out the fire. As soon as the Night Fury returned, Grey blew out the candle and settled under the covers while Shadow curled up next to the bed. Grey looked down at the Night Fury as she settled down for the night and smiled gently scratching her head. 

“Good night, Shadow,” she whispered. 

Shadow crooned in reply clearly wishing Grey good night as well. 

The former Chief closed her eyes as the peacefulness of the night and the warmth of her bed and her sister right next to her relaxed her and allowed sleep to overcome her.

August 14, 1122--the next morning

The silence in the house was so deafening as Sven, Dagny, and Kari sat at their old dinner table with tears streaming down their faces. Their spouses thought it would be best to allow the three siblings to have some time alone while they went to pass on the news to their respective families.

“It just feels like a bad dream,” Kari finally said. “I keep thinking that she and Shadow are just going to come out of the bedroom ready to go to get breakfast.”

Sven reached forward and took his younger sister’s hand into his. “I know,” he whispered sniffling. 

“We were with her all day yesterday,” Dagny said as tears welled in her eyes. “She looked and sounded fine. The both of them did. Did we miss something?”

“We didn’t miss anything, Dags,” Sven replied. “It was just...time to go.”

Dagny let out another sob as more tears flowed down their cheeks. She took a deep breath to compose herself. “I just...I thought that...after Dad...we would have more time with her,” she said. “I-I didn’t think it would be this soon after him.”

“Let’s be honest here, there was never going to be enough time,” Sven said shaking his head. “No matter how prepared or how much time passed, there was never going to be enough time for us to spend time with her.”

“I know, but it still doesn’t ease the pain,” Dagny replied. 

“I didn’t think it would,” Sven said shaking his head, “but...there is one thing we can find comfort in.” Both women looked up at him. “Mom wasn’t in any pain.” He thought to how he found her and her Night Fury earlier that morning. “She looked like she was at peace, and she wasn’t alone. Shadow...her best friend...her sister...died alongside her. They promised each other to be together forever, a promise so strong that not even death could overcome it. Mom and Shadow are truly together forever now in Helheim, and they’re with Dad, Uncle Greg, Grandpa Sven, and Grandma Ingrid.”

“I suppose,” Kari said. Her big brother was right. Their mother was with her Night Fury and the rest of their family now in the afterlife. She could only imagine how happy Grey must’ve been to enter Helheim with her Night Fury by her side and to reunite with her husband, adoptive brother, and parents. “I’m still going to miss her though...both of them.” She began to cry again. 

Sven and Dagny quickly stood up and hugged their youngest sister tightly as they cried together. 

“We are, too, Kari,” Dagny said through her tears.

The three siblings cried together for a few more minutes before finally pulling away. 

“What are we going to do now?” Kari finally asked. 

“Well, we’re going to give Mom and Shadow a funeral,” Sven said, “but before we do that, we’re going to have to let some people know, like Aunt Nala and Aunt Seasick. Erik will notify the village and the rest of the Wilderwest.”

“Havelock and I can take care of Aunt Seasick,” Dagny offered. 

“I can help you track down Aunt Nala, Sven,” Kari added. 

“Perfect,” Sven replied nodding. “As soon as that’s taken care of, we’ll have the funeral.”

“We should make sure that Mom and Shadow are on the same ship together...side-by-side...for the funeral,” Kari finally said after a moment of silence. “Mom...Mom would’ve wanted it that way...to be sent out to sea with her sister right next to her.”

“Of course, Kari,” Sven replied. “We will do just that.” 

“I agree,” Dagny added.

“We’ll get through this...together,” the oldest Felman sibling said. “We may have our families, but we will always have each other to lean on, just as Mom and Dad said.” He paused to look at his younger sisters. “I love you both very much, I mean it.”

Dagny and Kari could only pull him into another group hug. 

“We love you too, big brother,” Dagny replied. 

(A Few Hours Later...)

“May the valkyries welcome you,” Chief Erik began, “and lead you and your  Night Fury through Odin's great battlefield. May they sing your name with love and fury, so that we might hear it rise from the depths of Valhalla and know that you've taken your rightful place at the table of queens. For a great woman has fallen: A warrior. A Lady. A chieftess. A sister. A wife. A mother...” he let out a shaky breath, “...a grandmother. A great-grandmother. A friend.”

As soon as the Chief finished, he turned to his father and nodded. It was time.  From Erik, the torch was passed allowing the older members of Grey’s family and Nala to light their bows as the younger children and Seasick watched the scene unfold with the other villagers. Once the task was completed, they turned to the old ship...the very ship that carried the bodies of Grey Hertha Bergman-Felman and her Night Fury, Shadow, as they laid side-by-side, slowly floating out to sea. 

The Chief of Haligan Island shot the first arrow, and once it landed on the ship, more arrows followed slowly setting the ship aflame in a true Viking fashion. The family of the former Chief and her people watched giving her and Shadow one final farewell. 

Sassa, the Heir of Haligan Island, slowly walked forward with tears rolling down her face. “We love you, Nana,” she whispered. We’ll miss you...you and Shadow.” She was jolted out of her thoughts when she felt her father’s hand on her shoulder causing her to look up at him. 

The young teenager hugged her father tightly as he returned the gesture. 

“I don’t want to ever forget her, Daddy,” Sassa finally said sniffling. 

“I know, sweetheart,” Erik said running a hand through his daughter’s brown hair, “and you never will. Nana and Shadow will live on in our hearts, our minds, and the stories that she told you and you will in turn tell your children one day. Future generations of our family will know of the stories of the Battle of the Grounded Dungeon and your great-grandmother.”

“A young woman,” Sven said walking up to his oldest son and granddaughter, “who joined the Rebellion to stand up to High Central, became second-in-command to a great Hero, died in sacrificing her life to save her beloved Night Fury only to be risen from the dead by the God of the Dragons, and grew into becoming a natural born leader.”

“Couldn’t said it better myself, Dad,” the Chief replied smiling at his father. 

[thorne93]

Just My Luck (Part 6)

Prompt: Imagine accidentally walking into the men’s bathroom and seeing this fine specimen (James McAvoy)

Word Count: 3755

Warnings: Language, attack/violence/domestic abuse, mention/attempted rape, sexual harassment,

Notes: Collab fic with my girl @cocosierra94!!! Internal thoughts are in Italics, texts are in bold

@missinstantgratification

Tags: @marvel-imagines-yes-please @nilalovessadness @tacohead13 @captain-fuckinglevi @bohemianrhapsody @amarvelouswritings @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes- please @superwholocked527 @myparadise19982sand @missinstantgratification @thejulesworld​  @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername

James Mcavoy Tags: @bohemianrhapsody86 @lenawiinchester

~~~~~~~~~

“Michael,” you greeted in a wary tone.

“Y/N,” he responded as he pushed his way into the apartment, sending your heart racing as panic snaked its way through your veins. You began backing away from him.

“What are you doing here?���

“I thought I’d take what’s rightfully mine,” he bolstered.

“Michael, we broke up,” you reminded cautiously, still trying to put as much distance between you two as possible.

“No, you left me. I didn’t agree to shit. See, you think you can move to a big city, get a fancy new job, and start fucking some famous dude and it’ll hide what you really are...but it doesn’t, Y/N. Trust me. You’re still the scared...stupid...lonely...little girl I met all those years ago.”

“No, I’m not,” you said in a trembling voice.

“Yes, you are! You’re still a slutty, waste of trash!” he shouted before he slapped you hard across the face.

“Michael, please! Don’t do this!”

“You think you’re too good for me?” he questioned, bellowing. He drew up his fist and hit you hard in the cheek, enough to disorient you for a moment as you fell to the floor then tried to scramble away from him.

“Please!” you begged, already crying.

“You’re so pathetic. You don’t even fight back.”

He was right, you don’t fight back, because when you fought back in the past, he got worse.

“What’s the matter? Little boyfriend not here to protect you so you just cower down?” he asked before he kicked your stomach and you let out a yelp. You thought you’d throw up or pass out from that kick alone.

“Please,” you whispered, tears streaming hard and fast.

“How about I show you what a real man looks like? You need reminding!” He grabbed your hair by the fistful and yanked you on your feet as you screamed and tried to fight against him and the pain on your scalp.

“Michael! No! Please! Let me go!” you begged.

He threw you on the bed and held both of your arms down with one arm as he placed his legs between yours, forcing them open. You writhed and bucked, trying to get free, but nothing was working. Michael was twice your size. He worked on his belt.

“Don’t worry, darlin’, when I’m done, you’ll remember what a real man feels like.”

“Michael, I’m begging you, please don’t do this!” you tried again, nearly screaming as tears spilled onto the bed.

“I have to, Y/N,” he said as he grabbed at your underwear and ripped them away, your humanity and dignity going with it. You felt so...awful in that moment. You wished someone would come save you, hear your screams, hear the bed slamming around as you tried to move. “Shut up,” he ordered, putting his other free hand on your mouth. You continued to try and scream though, but it was merely muffled high pitched squealing.

“You’re gonna enjoy this,” he promised and he was about to invade you, when suddenly he was wrenched backwards. You sat up immediately and started to scoot back on the bed in fear. But then you saw what had happened. James had pulled him back and punched him hard in the jaw. Michael dove at James and you screamed, fearing he would hurt him. Michael punched James a few times in the face as they landed together but then James got the upper hand and was able to start hitting back, and they eventually were back standing, their fists raised.

“You just can’t leave her alone, can you?” Michael asked in a huff.

“I could say the same about you. Now I can either kill you here and now for breaking in and assaulting my girlfriend, or you can leave and never return.”

“Yeah, you and what army?” he asked.

“I don’t need an army. I have friends in low places that can make sure you’re never seen or heard from again and your body will never be found.”

“I could tell the cops you threatened me,” he said.

“Oh, yes, see how well that goes over when they learn why I threatened you. Leave now or guarantee your swift execution in the next 24 hours.”

Michael clenched his jaw before nodding side to side then walking out, where James ran and locked the door and even pushed a chair under the door knob.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asked as he entered the room and came towards you.

You shook your head and started crying. He ran toward you and held onto you quickly, kissing your head.

“Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry I didn’t get here earlier.”

You just continued to cry, unable to say anything. You were still shaken from the entire thing.

“This is all my fault.” His voice quivered as he watched you tremble with fear, the room filled with the echoes of your sobs.

“I should have never let you leave. I shouldn't have said those things. You aren't naive, you just have such a big heart. I just wanna keep it safe, but instead I hurt it and Y/N I'm so so sorry.”

You could feel the warmth of his tears seeping through your shirt, staining your skin. You sat up to gaze into the eyes of your protector. You could see just how much he meant every word of what he was saying.

“I promise he'll never hurt you again, and I swear on my life I'll do anything to protect you.” He gingerly put his hand on your cheek, wiping away a tear before he continued on.

“I know this is a terrible time to admit this but I--”

“I love you,” you cut him off managing to say the words before your brain could tell you to.

“You do?” he asked, slightly gasping.

In the midst of all the insanity, you managed a laugh.

“Well, of course. James, I love you, that’s why it hurt so bad when you said that about me. I thought you were finally seeing me for who I really am - just some farm girl in a big city. You could have any pick of Hollywood babes and for some reason you are dating me…” You sighed, then took a deep breath. “I just thought you were wising up and were trying to get rid of me.”

“Get rid of you?” he questioned as if the idea were absurd. “Good God, no! I want you more than anything. I definitely don’t have ‘any pick’ of anyone in Hollywood, but even if I did, I’d choose you a thousand times over because I love you and everything about you. You’re real, you’re loving, you’re kind, you’re smart...Why on Earth would I want anyone else?”

You meekly peeked up at him through your lashes. “They’re prettier?” you said as if you were offering the world’s weakest excuse.

“I take it back, you are naive,” he said with an eyeroll. “Y/N, you’re beautiful. Inside and out.” He kissed your nose. “Now, what do you want to do to put all of this unpleasantness behind us?”

“I’m not sure, maybe...just a movie?” you offered, just to forget everything.

“That can be done.”

You switched on your TV in your bedroom and you two got situated under the covers to cuddle, feeling right at home in his arms, as you two drifted to sleep, the events of the day too much to deal with physically or emotionally.

You were woken up by your phone ringing. You grabbed it and answered it quickly so you wouldn’t wake James as you snuck out into the living room.

“Hello?” you whispered.

“Hey there, pumpkin face!” your Papa said.

“Papa! It’s so good to hear from you!” you said into the phone with delight.

“You too. Your Nana and I haven’t heard from you for a few weeks, everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine. I’ve just been busy and went on vacation, we just got back,” you explained.

“We? Did you go with Rachel?” he asked.

Shit. You forgot he didn’t know about James.

“Uh, no, I went with my new boyfriend James,” you slowly informed, hoping the lashback wouldn’t be too severe.

“New boyfriend? Hmm…What’s he like?”

“He’s great, Papa,” you started. “He’s kind and sweet and caring. He’s an actor. You’d probably really like him.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. No one is good enough for my girl,” he said and you could practically see him smiling on the other end of the phone, warming your own heart.

“What do you say I bring him down for a bit?” you asked. “I miss you and Nana. I’d love to see you and it’d be a chance to meet him.”

Truth was, you just wanted to be home after the traumatic event. You wanted to be somewhere familiar, safe, and welcoming.

“We’d love that, pumpkin.”

“Great, I’ll get something worked out and I’ll see you soon!”

You traded “I love you’s” and “goodbyes” and hung up just as James was sleepily coming out of his room.

“Who was that, darling?”

“My Papa. I invited us down there. What do you say?” you asked as you snaked your arms around his waist.”

“I’d love to. I have to go back to work for a while though, probably three weeks. I have to go to Vancouver for five days of shooting, then LA for a week, then somewhere in London for an interview…”

“I get it, you’re busy. That’s fine. Rachel probably needs me back at the office for a bit.”

You looked at the calendar on your phone. “So what about the 2nd through the 7th? Would that work?”

“That’s my only free time,” he answered as a beaming smile came to him.

“Then it’s a date. I can’t wait for you to meet them.”

“Me either,” he said with a grin.

---------------------

The month seemed to fly by, even with James away, it was okay because you were working nearly round the clock with Rachel. Lots of summer movies were coming out and you were interviewing everyone from Indie films to Marvel. You talked to James as much as you could, but between his schedule and yours, it was hard. But in a way the separation was good. It was healthy to have some time apart, and while you missed him, you loved some “me” time with long nights in the tub, junk food nights, a night or two with just Rachel.

Finally, the day to go back home to your farm arrived. You made it clear to James to not pack anything nice - no suits, no ties, no expensive shoes, nothing he cherished. This was a strictly jeans and shirt sort of household. He was more than happy to accommodate that request.

Papa picked you up at the airport in the new truck he got, having James sit in the back and you upfront with him. The ride was quiet because when Papa drove, he just wanted the sound of music to fill the car, not a lot of chitter chatter.

Once you drove way out into the country on your thousand acre farm, you hopped out of the truck into the big farmhouse, calling out for Nana.

“Nana!” you called, finding her at the sink, rinsing vegetables from the garden. You threw your arms around her and she laughed in response.

“Y/N! You’re here. Where’s your boyfriend?” she asked, looking around you.

“Oh, shoot, I left him outside,” you said with a bit of an embarrassed grin. “I just wanted to see you so bad.” You hugged her again and with that, Papa and James entered the kitchen.

“I think you forgot something in the truck,” Papa teased.

You laughed and made your way over to your quiet boyfriend. “Nana, Papa, this is James McAvoy, my boyfriend.”

“So good to finally meet you,” he said as he shook their hands.

“You--you’re Scottish,” Nana noted with a surprised grin.

“Yeah, he’s from Scotland, but he’s in the States a lot,” you explained.

“I can't say I've ever met a Scotsman especially not one as handsome as you!” Your nana gave a chuckle causing James to blush a little bit.

“Heheh, thank you, ma'am.” James shuffled his feet, not sure what else to say.

“Alright Anne, that's enough harassing the boy for now. James, why don't I show you to your room, then you can help me fix the fence out front before it gets dark?”

“Phil, I'm pretty sure Y/N can show him where her room is,” your nana chided.

“I'm sure she can too, but I'm gonna show him his room. No offense, son, I'm just old school.” Your papa shrugged, clearly not going to apologize for his rule.

“Phillip! Let them be!” Nana scolded.

“It's alright, Mrs. Y/L/N, we're actually used to not sharing a room,” James explained. “Lead the way, sir,” James said, smiling at you as he passed by.

Once they were up the stairs, you went and began helping Nana with getting dinner ready.

“He seems nice,” she mentioned quietly.

“He is. He’s wonderful.”

“How did you two meet?” she asked.

“Through work. Rachel was interviewing him and I guess we sort of hit it off.”

“Oh, how sweet.”

The two of you caught up on what you’d been doing at work, that they had bought a few more horses, and that they had to sell off 50 acres from the southeast plot because times were rough. You felt awful and wanted to help them. You knew they were getting older and needed more help around the farm, financially and physically.

Eventually, James and Papa made their way down the stairs and outside, where you watched him through the kitchen window try to help Papa nail up a few boards and stretch some cattle fencing. You and your Nana couldn’t help but giggle.

“He hasn’t exactly been around a hammer, hmm?” your Nana teased.

“No, he’s not used to this at all,” you answered with a grin while James seemed to not understand how to properly hold a board. “Hold on,” you told your Nana and went outside.

“Need some help?” you offered, walking up.

“Oh, Y/N, thank God you’re here,” James said. “How do I bloody hold this thing?” James asked gesturing to the entire fence.

You laughed. “Here.” You grabbed the clamp, lifted the board, clamped it in place, grabbed the hammer and nails, and within two minutes, you and your papa accomplished what had taken them ten minutes to do.

“Wow, you really know your way around this stuff,” he admired.

“Yeah, now why don’t you help Nana finish up inside?” you requested politely.

“Sure thing,” he said with a beaming smile.

As soon as he was gone and you and your Papa finished the last fence and went to do the nightly feedings, he said, “That kid couldn’t hammer his way out of a paper bag, huh?”

“Papa!” you lightly chastised, before laughing. “Yeah, you’re right. But that doesn’t make him a bad person,” you said, quickly defending him.

“I didn’t say it did, pumpkin. Everyone has their strong suits. He just isn’t on the work end of a hammer,” he noted as you two walked to the barn.

You laughed lightly as he threw his arm around you.

-------------------------------

“Wow I forgot how much I missed your lasagna.”

“Yeah, Anne, you really outdid yourself this time, sweetie.”

“Well I had an excellent sous chef to help me,” she said, winking to James.

“So you're good in the kitchen and in front of a camera eh Jamesy boy?” Papa asked.

“Hey, he has other talents too, Papa! He's actually a great fighter,” you mentioned, completely forgetting you hadn’t told them yet.

“Fighter? Why on earth would you need to fight?” Papa wondered, stabbing into his food, frowning at your boyfriend, curious.

“Nana, Papa, I wasn't gonna mention this but… Michael came back. Of course Michael being the jerk he is, tried to ‘take me back’ by force…” You swallowed. “He attacked me in my apartment when I was alone, but thankfully James came to my rescue that time and another time when he was being a drunk fool.

“Oh honey, why didn't you tell us sooner! Are you alright?” Nana asked, leaning over and touching your arm.

“Yes, Nana, I'm fine. I just didn't want you guys to worry so much. I know things haven't been so great around here and you don't need the added stress. Besides James kicked his a-- I mean butt really good, so he won't be a bother anymore.”

“It's about time someone gave him a good ass kicking, I'd have done it myself if Anne would have let me. He would have been dead meat.”

“Oh Phil, that's exactly why I didn't want you to do it!” Nana said, rolling her eyes in exhaust.

“Sweetheart, do you want my 12 gauge? Just say the word and you can have it to protect yourself from that bullheaded jeerk.”

“No, Papa, I think James made his point when he beat him up,” you noted, squeezing James’ hand.

Your papa seemed to understand that you trusted this man, so in a way, he had no choice but to do the same. He’d seen you with jerks before and didn’t want James to be another one, but so far, he had given him no reason to think he would be like the others.

----------------

Everyone headed to bed, of course, your room and James’ were across the hall from one another.

“I’m sorry about this,” you noted, standing outside your bedroom.

“It’s quite alright. I know how your grandfather feels. It’s just a few nights. I’ll miss you in my arms, but maybe you’ll visit me in my dreams,” he noted before leaning into kiss you. The instant your lips made contact, your Papa came out of his room.

“Alright, break it up,” Papa said, gruffing.

“Papa,” you groaned.

“Lights out. Some of us have to get up at 4,” he reminded, wagging a finger at you.

“You’re right.” You sighed. “Good night.” You kissed James quickly on the lips and you two went into your separate rooms.

------------------

Your papa woke the whole house so you all could get to work. You and James were on feeding duty and it was a blast watching James try to get the hang of everything. He knew some things, so he wasn’t completely helpless, but he was nowhere as broken in as you were.

At one point, you went off with one of the ranch hands to help bale hay in the far west field while Papa asked James come with him to the North fields to mend some more fences.

“So, James, I wanted to talk to you,” Papa started, stretching out some cattle wire.

“That's never good,” James half-joked, terrified of your gun-toting grandfather.

“No, no, don’t worry, my boy. I just wanted to say, I’ve seen a lot of men hurt my little girl. I don’t want to see it happen again, and I may be old, but I’m no fool. I know I can’t protect her from everything, but I’d like to think I can help soften some of life’s blows, if you know what I mean.”

“I think I do,” James concurred.

“Good. Now, you seem like an upstanding fella, and I know that people can grow to have their differences, I also know that in your line of work, the lifestyle is different.”

James stood quietly, listening, as Papa instructed him on what to do.

“I’m just saying, should you ever realize Y/N isn’t what you want any more, or you’re ready for something else, or you two grow apart, or whatever happens, let her know before it’s too late. Sort your differences out or leave or do whatever you have to to avoid as much hurt as possible.”

“I wouldn’t dream of hurting her,” James informed.

“Oh, I know. Most people don’t, but I’m old and I’ve got a lot of siblings and nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and cousins, and I’ve seen how easily a marriage or relationship can fall apart from lack of communication and go to a point of no return. I’m just telling you, before it hits that point, let her know. Be as kind to my girl as you can be, even if you have to let her down, do it in the nicest way possible.”

“You’re very wise, Phil,” James noted kindly. “I see where Y/N gets it from.”

“Yeah,” he noted, bending down to secure the fence. “Well she gets her stubbornness from Anne, but don’t tell them I said that,” he said with a coy grin.

“Haha, I won’t.”

“Now, let me show you how to properly use that hammer,” Papa offered.

The two of them worked on the fences some more and as they moved on throughout the day, James got up the courage to ask something.

“I was wondering...I want to ask Y/N if she’d like to move in together, that way I can be there to protect her and care for her better...What do you think? Do you think it would be something she would go for? Would you have a problem with that?”

“You mean y’all haven’t done that yet?” Phil asked, surprised.

“Uh, no. I wanted to run it by you first,” James answered.

“Huh. Why are you asking me?” he wondered.

“Well, you mean everything to her, you know her best. I think it’s only right that I ask for your opinion on something that would be a huge change in her life, and be sure that you’re okay with it. I wouldn’t want to do anything that would upset you, you mean too much to her.”

Phil took a moment, standing up to look at James. “How about that,” he muttered, seemingly to himself. “Well, I know times are different than when I was your age. I don’t exactly agree with it, but I can give you my blessing. So long as you ask Y/N and she’s completely sure with it, you seem like a decent guy.”

“Thank you, Phil.”

“Don’t mention it. And don’t forget, I do have that 12 gauge should anything happen,” he reminded with a wink.

[silversaucekai]

Phoenix

Warnings: Baby suffering, blood, a little bit of body horror

Summary: An AU/A what-if fic. When Tsunayoshi Sawada was born, he was near death. Luckily for him, he is saved… at the cost of receiving something considered either a blessing or a curse.

Time taken: 2 hours 12 minutes

Characters: Tsuna, Nana, Iemitsu, Nono, Reborn

A/N: This is a self-indulgent fic! I hope to continue this, but I hope I don’t go too far! ^-^’

Chapter 1: Sealed Wings

A small hand held onto his mother’s finger, so lightly, becoming looser and looser.

‘He doesn’t have much longer to live.’ The doctor had said.

Her eyes had long ran out of tears as she gently smoothed the feather-like hair from her baby son’s sweating forehead.

‘We can give him drugs to ease his suffering but it is up to you to…’

Nana didn’t allow herself to remember what the doctor had said, and she did after that. Months of carrying her child, of watching his growth so carefully… only to find he had a terribly weak heart, a ‘faulty’ system, and a much-too-hot internal temperature. She felt like a failure of a mother. Iemitsu was here, and so was Nono, but they had left her alone with her dear Tsuna. They couldn’t understand her feelings, and they had their own despair to deal with.

There was incense burning, peppermint and cinnamon, meant to calm both her and the baby even as he wore a breathing mask, and was hooked up to so many things… Perhaps later her family would come together and comfort one another, but everyone needed some time alone to grieve. Nana listened to the breathing machine, the slow beeps, and as Tsuna’s grip tightened slightly on her finger before loosening again she felt her eyes shut. She was lying on the bed, Tsuna’s close by. She was still tired from childbirth, and from crying so much. It wasn’t long before she drifted off.

She was woken up by the sound of wailing, and looked at something squirming in the bed besides her. Tsuna, with flushed cheeks and kicking feet and a baby’s vice grip still on her finger was crying. He was still hot to the touch, but his renewed strength filled with her such hope that Nana felt tears dripping down her face once more. Was this a dream? She heard a gasp and saw a nurse covering her surprised and delighted expression with a clipboard.

“Doctor! Doctor please come-!” The nurse cried, rushing out of the room. Soon, the nurses and doctors were quickly examining Tsuna, and found him as a perfectly healthy baby boy, if only a few degrees warmer than usual. It was a miracle!

In their joy, no one noticed all the incense missing.

---------

Tsuna was found with two odd symmetrical lumps on his back, ones that made him roll onto his belly often due to how uncomfortable they were to lay on. When the doctor examined it, he declared it to be two extra fuzzy arms that seemed like wings. A deformity, and he had to free the ends so that the tips of them did not hurt his muscles.

Tsuna did not seem to be in pain after that, and Nana was reluctant to hurt him further when he seemed so peaceful, especially when it was so expensive and it was so dangerous to operate so close to the spine. Nono and the doctor argued that he could never live a normal life with them, but Iemitsu found them endearing.

When the doctors found that Tsuna had a extra set of muscles on his chest for moving said ‘deformed arms’, the deformity seemed more like an... adaptation than anything, and the doctors gave in and began offering money of all things so that they could keep track of Tsuna’s development, in secret of course. Nono was likewise convinced, his intuition singing at the thought of the second arms, or, wings, being an adaptation. Taking away Tsuna’s wings would take away his potential to become something… greater.

“I know it would be for the best but I don’t want my son to be a… a lab rat…” Iemitsu said, serious for once.

“I understand…” Nana said, cradling a sleepy Tsuna, “... But the wings must be kept a secret. What should we do...?”

“Well…” Iemitsu gave her a strained smile, “I have a few ideas…”

---------

As he grew up, Tsuna began to show odd habits. He loved minty flavors, which was normal enough… but after an incident at the mall with him drinking ten perfume bottles and eating incense like it was pocky and being fine afterwards, it was something that the doctors had to examine. The scented items not only made Tsuna’s wings warmer, but gave him more energy than a full-course meal without the side effects of sleepiness. Although odd, they did give it to him as a treat.

He started expressing an interest in music when he first heard it, and after some shaky tries and broken instruments, he finally tried to sing. His singing brought everyone who heard it into a daze, and delayed traffic in the hospital as everyone stopped where they stood. Things and even a few people fell. After that, Tsuna wasn’t allowed to sing in the hospital anymore.

Tsuna practically lived at ‘the Hospital’. He slept there so much that he considered it his home! He found it kind of boring sometimes, he ‘wasn’t allowed to touch this’ and was ordered about all the time and sometimes even hurt a little. When he began to grow brown patterned feathers on his wings that matched his hair they started taking so many pictures that he started to hate cameras. But he got to stretch his wings there and flap them around! Even at his mom’s house he wasn’t allowed to untie his wings, and they always got so sore.

He was never really alone, always having a strange person following him. A ‘body guard’. He learned in school that ‘body guards’ followed important people. Was he important?

“Yes, Tsuna, you’re very important, especially to me.” Nana had told him lovingly.

“Okay! You’re important to me, too!” He had said happily with flushed cheeks. Nana had practically smothered him in hugs with happy cooing then, and he laughed and hugged her back and fluttered his wings to tickle her arms to make her giggle back. Nana and the doctors were the only ones that he was allowed to show his wings.

He was always forced to hide his wings under his shirt, and wore a cape or shawl that reached his knees out in public. The other children were a little jealous of his cape and cautious and curious about his mysterious reasons but stayed away from actually hitting him because ‘the strange man following him looked scary’. So, they indirectly hurt him. Messing up his things, calling him names, making it acceptable to pick on him. Tsuna quickly hated school, and he avoided making friends there. When someone actually tried to tug off his cape, he was told that he didn’t have to go anymore. He was taught in the hospital or at home, instead. He liked that arrangement more, and excelled much more in his studies with support from both Nana and the friendly doctors and scientists.

But, not having anyone his age to talk to was a really lonely. He often snuck out of his room to talk to the other children there. He couldn’t see them more than that, because they either left the hospital or got too sick and had to be taken somewhere. Unsatisfied companionship only made his loneliness grow.

It wasn’t a bad life, but when he looked out the window towards the sky an ache in his chest grew more and more.

---------

When Reborn infiltrated the hospital and hopped from the vents on the floor, he was met with the sight of an sleepy scruffy angel dressed in comfortable white clothes.

“Oh, baby, are you lost?” Tsuna asked, folding in his wings to appear smaller and crawling out of bed to kneel besides him. He rubbed his eye with one hand, his arms covered in bandages.

“I’m not a baby. I’m a hitman. My name’s Reborn. From today onwards I’m going to be your tutor.” Reborn said bluntly, ignoring the wings on his new charge. He had seen odder things.

“Oh, that’s really cute!” Tsuna smiled, “Where’s your parents, littl-” Reborn kicked him, sending him rolling into the wall with a scream. Nana opened the door to see a twitching confused Tsuna and a small baby.

“Really, Tsuna, you must be more careful!” Nana huffed.

“N-no! M-mom, that baby just-”

“Ciaossu. I’m the new home tutor, Reborn.” Reborn flicked his hat up to look up at Nana with his eyes and a polite smile.

“Oh, you’re here! Welcome! Would you like some tea? I brought Tsuna some food, but it’s enough to share!”

“Certaintly, mama.” Reborn said with a polite bow. Nana beamed.

Why are they getting along so well? Tsuna thought with a dull look, his feathers fluffing up in agitation as he sat up.

“Every decent hitman knows how to charm the ladies.” Reborn said matter-of-factly, accepting a steamed pork bun from Nana with a polite ‘thank you’.

“Did you just read my mind?”

“I’m a mind-reader.” Reborn smirked and bit into his bun with a ‘hamph’. Nana gave Tsuna his own bun with a smile, and Tsuna took it and bit into it numbly, only for Reborn to steal it and declare that he needed to fight to eat.

Tsuna had a feeling that his easygoing life wasn’t going to be the same.

[flighty37-blog]

Brothers Forever

Summary: The last thing Martyn wanted at three and a half was a baby brother. Who he got was a weird live-in best friend, the best younger brother imaginable. Now onto the story: Martyn looked between his parents. He was sandwiched on the sofa with them. His mummy on one side, his daddy on the other. Martyn wanted to go play; he didn’t want to talk. But, Mummy and Daddy looked so happy. “Marty; How would you like a baby brother or sister?” Mummy asked. Martyn shook his head no. “You’ll be able to teach them loads of stuff and protect them. You’ll be a wonderful Big Brother,” Daddy tried. “But I wike have you to meself; James has a baby bwodher and all he does, is cwy and poo,” Martyn answered. He was looking longingly at at his paper and crayons on the coffee table. “You’ll be able to stop them from crying, you’ll be able to hold them whenever you wish,” Mummy tried again. Martyn looked tearfully up at his mummy, and for a minute, her smile was gone. When Martyn hugged her, her smile came back. Then he felt something kick him and he looked surprised. “Is he in your tummy?” Martyn asked. “Or she, and yes,” they will be here in six months time,” Daddy answered. Six Months?! Martyn knew his ABC’s and 1-2-3’s, but months were foreign to him. “Forever from now?” Martyn asked. Mummy laughed her gentle comforting, laugh, and hugged him. “Not forever, soon, Darling,” Mummy managed as she and Daddy glanced at each other and smiled. Daddy gave Mummy a kiss on the cheek, and Martyn covered his eyes. Six Months Later: Martyn was being fed by Grandma Dorothy. She was going to let him play with the neat fancy playing cards she had. After reading his palm of course. “Hurry Martyn, let Nan see your palm,” Grandma Dorothy sat beside him, taking the empty dish, wiping his palm clean and tracing her finger across his hand making him giggle. “Ahh…. Yes…. You’re going to get a baby brother…..” Grandma’s voice got quiet. “What’s his name going to be, Nan?” Martyn asked excitedly. “I do not see a name yet….” Grandma’s voice got quiet again. “Hey Marty!” Daddy’s voice, made Martyn get down from the table, and race over to his father. Nigel deftly picked him up, and threw him high in the air. Then he caught him. “Want to see your brother?” Nigel asked. “I knew I’d get two grandsons!” Grandma Dorothy rejoiced. Nigel grinned, shook his head, kissed his mum’s cheek and all three bustled out the door. After bundling up against the frigid air. “What’s his name Daddy?” Martyn asked. “Mummy wants to tell you, but she thinks that your two names will fit nicely together,” Nigel answered. Kathryn was peculiar, but Dorothy liked her and the feeling was mutual from Kath’s end. At Hospital: Martyn was made to wash up, as was Nana and Daddy. Mummy looked like an angel. She was smiling down at a tiny bundle in her arms, wearing a striped beanie on top. Mummy looked up as soon as Daddy, he and Nan drew closer to the bed. She patted the empty spot beside her, and Marty was sat next to her. “Say hello to Philip Michael Lester,” Mummy said the name slowly so that he could repeat it. Martyn was soon nose-to-nose with the baby and spoke, “Hi Phil, I’m Marty; I’m you big bwother.” Philip opened his eyes, blinked and firmly squeezed Martyn’s nose. “Owie! No Philly!” Martyn protested. Mummy helped free his nose, Martyn rubbed it, but smiled broadly. Philip was a quiet baby.  The baby went back to sleep. “I love him Mummy,” Martyn leaned against Kathryn’s arm. “I do too Martyn,”  Kathryn kissed the top of Martyn’s head. Nan and Daddy smiled. Nan held Phil and whispered something in his ear. Two Years Later: “No! Yuck! I no wan’ eat dat!” Phil yelled from his baby chair. “C’mon Philly, it’s really good,” Martyn tried. Phil, blew a raspberry at him. “If I turn on the telly and turn off the lights?” Mummy asked, and Phil quietened down. Mummy or Daddy, always could make things better again. “Heeerree comes The Sugar Fairy!” Daddy came in with the sugar bowl in hand. “YAY Faiwy!” Phil clapped his hands and kicked excitedly with his feet. The lights went off, the telly went on, there was peaceful dinner time again, as Daddy sprinkled sugar on the food and Mummy made aeroplane noises and fed Phil with a spoon. “More! More!” Phil said excitedly. Martyn just smiled, even though the room was dark. His brother was weird, but fun. Five Years Later: Nine year old Martyn scowled at six year old Phil. “Go climb a tree,” Martyn dared. “Mum says I’ll break sumpthin’; she says I’m….” Phil furrowed his brows. “Clumsy,” Martyn filled in the word void. “Yeah that; what’s clumsy Marty?” Phil asked, as he tripped over a stick. “You, tripping all the time, sometimes over nothin’,” Martyn said. “Oh, sorry,” Phil said, and bumped into his brother’s arm. “Why don’t you play with your mates?” Martyn asked. “Dunno; yours are cooler,” Phil protested. “But they’re my mates!” Martyn doubly protested. “Yeah….” Phil sniffled and hung his head. “Who hurt your feelings?” Martyn asked, his big brother instincts peeking through. “Nobody! I’ll leave ya alone now, Marty, Bye-Bye,” Phil half-waved and disappeared round the corner. Martyn returned to his friends and apologised. Martyn continued to play. Phil found some of his school mates and struck up a conversation. Soon, he’d made friends himself. A Few Years Later: After filming Phil’s horror film…. “It’s not the best acting I’ve ever seen,” fifteen year old Martyn said, to his almost thirteen year old brother. “I know! But it was so FUN! Mum made me wear my shirt inside out, so I wouldn’t get it messy,” Phil rolled his eyes. “So, who was the killer again?” Martyn half-teased and ruffled Phil’s (dyed) ginger hair. “Mart!” Phil pushed Martyn’s shoulder. They were nearly the same height. Martyn had a feeling that Phil would be taller by a slight margin. “Just joking Baby bro,” Martyn answered and the two had a nice laugh about it. For the most part they got on quite well. Even Kathryn was surprised. They barely squabbled and when they did they were quick to forgive the other. “Ladies will be lucky to catch my boys,” Kathryn had said to Nigel one day. Nigel nodded in agreement. He felt lucky to be raising them. Even if, Phil wasn’t as adept with tools as Martyn seemed to be. “Go Away Phil!” Martyn stormed up the stairs. “I’m sorry Mart!” Phil dejectedly sat up at the table next to Nigel. “He’ll be calm soon, Love,” Kathryn handed Phil a chocolate biscuit. “Love you Mum, Love you too Dad,” Phil munched. “We love you too Phil,” Kathryn assured him, as Nigel reached over and ruffled his son’s hair. Phil Turns 14: “Happy Birthdaaayyyy, Deearrr Phillyyyyy; Happyyyy Birthdaaayyy tooo youuuuu!!!” Three voices sang out as Phil blushed. Martyn, now seventeen had just started Uni. Phil missed him, but Martyn always seemed to make it back for Christmas, birthdays, and other holidays. “I found something weird, and thought of you,” Martyn handed Phil an oddly wrapped package. “It’s called ‘slime’,” Martyn said and winked at him, as Kathryn slid the cake pan in front of her youngest son. The candles alight. “Make your wish good Son!” Nigel encouraged. Phil grinned, squeezed his eyes shut and blew with all his might. He ended up with a splash of icing on the tip of his nose. “Oh Philly!” Mum mockingly despaired, and wiped it off with a serviette. The rest of the birthday went well. And So The Years Rolled By: As each of them got older, their interests began to differ. At twenty-five Martyn was doing DJ work, whilst studying business, and now Phil was in uni. One night, after a party, Martyn got an unusual phone call. “Marty?” Phil sounded so unlike himself. Martyn’s protective instincts immediately kicked in. “What’s wrong Philly?” Martyn asked. “Maybe nothing probably something,” Phil’s voice was shaky. “Spit it out Bro,” Martyn tried to levy the situation; trying to calm Phil down. “Mart? What would you do, hypothetically speaking of course, if you had followers; but one person wouldn’t leave you alone? Not even when you tried to ignore them? Would you see what they wanted or would you block them? Hypothetical of course, purely fiction; For a friend,” Phil weakly spluttered out. “Phil, you’re twenty-two; find out who they are. If you don’t like them, and they still bother you, I’ll give them a strong, ‘Back off my brother, you arsehole’. Okay?” Martyn offered. “O-Okay,” Phil quietly said. A Few Months Later: “Everyone this is Dan Howell; Dan this is everyone. Mum you already met, and by met, was nearly crushed to death by her hug…. Sorry…. And here’s Dad, and this is Martyn….. Remember talking to him on the mobile? And finally Cornelia; you talked to her too…. Remember?” Phil introduced as his new friend gulped, licked his lips and nodded all at the same time. “Hey Dan! Nice to finally put a face to the voice. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to us,” Martyn encouraged, sounding like a calming influence, making Dan relax a bit. “H-Hello,” Dan replied in a quiet voice. Martyn shook his hand, then mightily clapped the boy’s shoulder. Dan rubbed at his shoulder as Nigel shook Dan’s hand, and afterwards, Cornelia gave him a one-armed hug. “Welcome the Lesters; we’re loud, proud, and loving. Don’t worry so,” Cornelia whispered in Dan’s ear, giving him a shock. “You’ll either love us, or hate us; there is no in between,” Martyn warned. Dan smiled weakly, still getting used to the friendly, warm atmosphere. These people were special, he could tell. “I’m adopting you!” Kathryn trilled, clapping her hands. “And now you can never leave,” Cornelia joked.  Dan laughed nervously. “Let’s go play a few video games,” Phil suggested, trying to get Dan to relax a bit more. Dan was after all, used to the two of them conversing one-on-one. His family was overwhelming even at the best of times. The two left the lounge, amidst a rabid discussion going on about football matches. (2012) And More Years Come And Go: “A new year, a new us,” Martyn spoke up. “UGH!” Came the now familiar, complaint. “We’re in a meeting Howell,” Phil ground out. “Bite me Lester,” came Dan’s retort. “Stop arguing for the next hour and a half and I’ll get you both a nice treat,” Martyn offered. Dan gave Martyn the backwards vee. “Daniel!” Phil yelped out. Dan gave Phil the bird. “Cooperate Dan,” Cornelia spoke up, breaking up the younger two’s argument, for the duration of the meeting. Dan slumped in his chair. When Cornelia got involved it was best not to argue. “New merch ideas,” Martyn started. “Sales are phenomenally skyrocketing,” Martyn continued. “As well they should, the boys are geniuses,” Cornelia said proudly. “Dan’s a jackass,” Phil said. “Says you!” Dan retorted. “BOYS!” Cornelia pulled out her mobile, finger on the #1 button. “Noooo Not Mum!” Phil gasped. “Fine, I’ll be good,” Dan sighed again. “Right! Now…” The meeting continued. 2016-2017: Differences aside, two thousand and sixteen was starting off pretty well. Less arguing, more friendship, more brotherly love…. Eventually Dan and Phil made up. It was as if 2012 hadn’t even been a year. Martyn found it nice that the two were ‘getting on’ again. Acting the way they had acted when they’d first met. Being immature dorks. “How’d you do it Phil?” Martyn asked, in one of the rare times he and Phil were in one place, without a best mate, or significant other nearby in a hovering state. “Do what?” Phil sipped his Ribena. “Get back to being a dork and whatever with Dan?” Martyn answered. “A magician never reveals his secrets,” Phil shrugged awkwardly. “Oh?” Martyn, though he knew he shouldn’t be, was intrigued and leant forward in his chair. “We just came to an agreement. That’s all,” Phil shrugged again. “Oh,” Martyn asked nothing further. Both sipped their drinks in comfortable silence. “I didn’t want a kid brother,” Martyn started a whole new conversation, not wanting the brotherly bonding to end just yet. “Why not? I’m fun,” Phil pouted. “Because I thought having a littler brother would be boring,” Martyn smirked. “Well I’m definitely not boring,” Phil replied. “Nope. Haven’t got a boring bone in your body,” Martyn clapped his brother firmly on the back. “Ack!” Phil spluttered. “Sorry,” Martyn amended. “Don’t hurt Phil,” a female voice sounded as Cornelia rounded the corner and smiled at the two before her. “They’re ‘love taps’,” Martyn assured her. “Well, tap ‘less enthusiastically’," she cautioned him as she perched in Martyn’s lap. “You wouldn’t want to harm such an iconic figure,” Cornelia continued winking at Phil, who turned tomato red, but ‘winked’ back. “Who? Him? He’s just my nerdy brother,” Martyn chuckled. “I’m offended!” Phil mock pouted. “Why?” Martyn jokingly argued back. “Because I just am,” Phil lamely answered. “Stop being offended; You’re a Lester. An odd one, odder than me, or Dad even, but we like you just the same,” Martyn responded. “Tease Dan then, give him the same, ‘Brotherly Lester Treatment’, you’re giving me,” Phil said. “Can’t. He’s editing, and must not be disturbed. Else, he’ll give me ‘bodily harm’; ‘Don’t think I won’t’!” Martyn imitated Dan’s voice. “That’s disturbing,” Phil put a hand over his heart. “I’ve had years of listening to him to be able to emulate his voice,” Martyn shrugged as he held onto Cornelia’s waist to keep her on his lap, steadying her. Just then Dan emerged from his room. “Shit! Phil! Why didn’t you tell me the whole family was here?!” Dan yelped. “Because the whole family’s not here. Mum and Dad are still on the Isle,” Martyn assured his adopted sibling. “I mean… Why didn’t Phil inform me that Martyn and Cornelia are here?”  Dan gave Phil a pointed look. “I was powerless against them. They just barged in,” Phil returned in a mock hurt tone. “And we missed you too,” Martyn said as he slid Cornelia off his lap, and walked over to where Dan was standing. He clapped Dan heartily on the back. “Oww!” Dan rubbed at his shoulder blades. “Sorry! I meant to do this….” Martyn reached over and squeezed the back of Dan’s neck. Dan squeezed his eyes shut and stomped Martyn’s foot. “Ow!” Martyn yelped. “Serves you right,” Dan smirked. “I’m sorry,” Martyn wheezed, as he hobbled over to the chair that Cornelia was now perched on. “Poor Baby,” Cornelia crooned at him. “Dan hurt me,” Martyn pouted. “You grabbed my neck!” Dan grunted. Martyn ignored him. “Don’t ever grab Dan’s neck,” Cornelia recited from the list of unwritten ‘Lester Rules’. “I forgot,” Martyn mumbled. “Remember from now on,” Cornelia admonished taking Martyn into her lap and snuggling against him as Dan and Phil took opposite chairs and briefly glanced at each other. “So what brings you two here?” Dan asked. “Phil and I haven’t hung out properly in a while,” Martyn replied. “He craved the ‘P’,” Phil answered, and grinned widely. “No!” Dan pinched the bridge of his nose. “He craved the D and P?” Phil ‘innocently’ questioned. “Actually ShuT Up!” Dan pleaded, emphasising the ‘t’ at the end. “He craved, ‘The D, P, C’?” Phil tried once more. “Don’t make me shut you up permanently Phil Lester,” Dan warned. “Martyyyy!!” Phil whined. “Take it up with your sister,” Martyn answered. “Neliiiiaaaa,” Phil tried. “No! Only Martyn may call me ‘Nelia,” Cornelia answered. “Ha! Finally I get special privileges,” Martyn smirked at the two younger men. Dan and Phil rolled their eyes. “Dan lets me grab his neck,” Phil smirked as well. “Because I’m used to you just grabbing me wherever; Besides, which, you live with me. They’re just casual droppers in,” Dan clarified. “Grabs you wherever? Is there something you two aren’t telling Cornelia and me?” Martyn raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth twitched upwards a bit. “Oh for God’s Sake! Are you secretly shipping us now too?” Dan squeaked out though, the spark in his eye belied his indignation. “Yup I have an anonymous account,” Martyn quipped back. “Told you so!” Phil jumped into the teasing. “Right then I’ll just see my way out, via window,” Dan joked, his mouth set in a straight line. “I’ll join you,” Cornelia decided. “Phil and I’ll reach the bottom first, and have cushions laid out at the ready, so you two won’t get hurt,” Martyn planned out. “Aiskling, the point of a double jumping out of the window is to get hurt,” Cornelia ‘explained’. “Ohhh,” Martyn mock realised. “Explaining things to Lesters, is most exhausting,” Dan rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it,” Cornelia replied. “Although I must admit, Martyn’s gotten very good at Swedish,” Cornelia spoke again. “Think you’ll hold onto him a bit longer?” Dan questioned. “Thinking about it. I might need a few more years,” Cornelia said in a thinking tone. “Hey!” Martyn yelped. “You do tease us an awful lot,” Phil put in, making his voice quaver a bit. “You deserve it for being an awful brother,” Martyn joked back. “All the times Mum woke up screaming because her (demon) child was creepily staring at her, practically at the foot of her bed,” Martyn put forth. “No fair going that far back,” Phil frowned. “Why not? I’ve got loads of stories,” Martyn said. “I love good ‘Phil Blackmail’,” Dan rubbed his hands back and forth, reminiscient, of of an evil doer. “No!” Phil weakly protested, but stayed seated. “He doesn’t know this but I….” Martyn started the storytelling. Much to Phil’s embarrassment and Dan and Cornelia’s delight. The End.

[jarclave13-blog]

Carrot, Cardamom and Pistachio Breakfast Cookies

A few days ago I went shopping for running shoes for the first time since Oliver was born. I used to run marathons in my early thirties and would look for pretty specific things in a shoe, but these days I knew I’d use them for occasional runs, walks and bike rides, so training shoes, per se? Not as critical. I miss my serious running days, but my priorities (and my body) are a little different now, and I’ve grown ok with that. So there you have it: on a mild afternoon in early March, I strolled into a local running store and strolled out twenty minutes later with not one but three pairs of new running shoes, along with an anger I couldn’t squelch. 

A young sales guy was helping me – let’s call him “Jerrod,” if only because that’s his real name – at least to the degree he could while keeping constant vigil over his phone. Jerrod pulls out the three pairs of shoes I was interested in and as I’m trying them on, I chat with another associate on the floor about her son; we both, as it turns out, have toddler boys and set about commiserating about their precipitous emotional highs and lows that, so they say, will one day normalize. When she went to help another customer, Jerrod turns to me to say, “well maybe these shoes are more than you need? Since you’re just home doing the mom thing we can pull out something else that might work better?”

My face felt red hot as I stared down at my feet. Then I looked straight into Jerrod’s eyes and said, “I’ll take all three” (this is the point in the story in which my husband thinks I’ve lost my mind). He seemed confused and kept reiterating his point that he could bring out more shoes that would fit my lifestyle better. I said “I’ll take all three, Jerrod,” grabbed all three, and started walking up to the register. Now sure, a few days later I see that I have more sneakers than I need and perhaps that wasn’t the most prudent financial decision and yes, I have to figure out when Jerrod takes his lunch break so I can return two of them.

I’ve found I have a particularly strong reaction when people say that someone is “just doing the mom thing.” I got it a lot after I sold Marge, even from some close friends — and I don’t blame them; I know what they meant. I didn’t sell Marge to be a stay at home mom; I sold it for a lot of other reasons. But “just doing the mom thing?” I don’t know, Jerrod. I actually like working. I happen to like being a mother, as well. And neither of those two passions really tell you anything about what running shoes I might need, no less want. And had I decided to stay at home with Oliver full time, “just” really wouldn’t be the word I’d use as I’m convinced it’s one of the hardest jobs out there. Try it out for a day, Jerrod. See how you do. Report back.

For now, I’ll keep wearing my three pairs of sneakers around the house, trying to determine which to keep while making breakfast cookies and copywriting a wine website for a client. Oh and ordering Oliver a new backpack for our upcoming trip to see Nana, and racing to the grocery store to use my coupon for free salmon this week at our local coop. You know, just doing the mom thing.

These cookies are a riff on a recipe in my cookbook for Nutty Millet Breakfast cookies that we make quite a bit. With all the flavors of carrot cake (carrots, coconut, raisins) along with toasty pistachios and warm spices they’re great with coffee or tea and make a most welcome second breakfast, for those of you who are up early and are into that sort of thing. I always like to manage expectations with baked goods: these cookies aren’t crispy — they’re quite soft and chewy: imagine a healthy muffin top in cookie form. I hope you love them.

Sidenote: if you haven’t yet seen Brandi Carlile sing her new song, Mother, to her daughter it’s worth a listen/watch; my favorite part is Evangeline mouthing the words towards the end of the song. The absolute sweetest.

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Soft and chewy, these cookies bake up quickly and only dirty two bowls in the process. While I love the pops of color from the pistachios, swap in another nut if you’d like (or omit altogether to keep them nut-free). Because of the high moisture content from the fresh carrots, the cookies are best eaten within 2 days of baking. I often freeze a few to have on hand for those late mornings when a warm, whole grain cookie sounds like just the thing.

Ingredients

1 cup (120g) spelt flour

1/4 cup (32g) buckwheat flour

1 cup (100g) rolled oats

1 1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom

3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 cup coconut oil, liquid at room temperature

1/2 cup pure maple syrup

1 large egg, beaten

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup (110g) grated carrots (about 1 large carrot)

1/2 cup (55g) raw pistachios, chopped

1/2 cup (30g) unsweetened flake coconut

1/2 cup (75g)sultana raisins, optional

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350F. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone mat.

In a large bowl, whisk together both flours, oats, cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, salt, baking soda and baking powder.

In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the coconut oil, maple syrup, egg, and vanilla extract. Pour the wet ingredients into the flour mixture, folding in with a wooden spoon until incorporated. Stir the carrots, pistachios, coconut and raisins into the dough until combined (feel free to use your hands and get in there to give the dough a few turns to ensure all the dry ingredients are incorporated). The dough will be super sticky; that’s ok. Let the dough rest for 10 minutes.

Scoop out 2 tablespoons of dough and, working quickly, form a ball using your hands. Place the balls about 1 ½ inches apart on the prepared baking sheet. Gently flatten the cookies with the palm of your hand to about ¾ inch thickness.

Bake for about 12 minutes, or until slightly golden brown around the edges and firmed yet still soft in the center (they’ll continue to firm up as they cool). Let the cookies cool for 10 minutes on the baking sheet, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Source: http://asweetspoonful.com/2018/03/carrot-cardamom-pistachio-breakfast-cookies.html