#and yes he's compensating in his lifestyle because he feels bad for what he's done

[agentvalentine]

CHARACTER BACKGROUND INFO: Parents and Childhood.

I decided to write some backstory for Jill--it mostly covers her parents and their relationship, but it's still relevant to Jill.

It’s both good and bad that canon doesn’t give us much when it comes to character background. In any case, I took the liberty here and included the crumbs that we do know from canon (mostly about Jill’s dad in the novel) and came up with a backstory for her myself. It’s entirely possible that there’s more info that I’m not aware of, because I never finished reading the novels and I am potentially clueless about extra background info that exists, but this is what I have for Jill's background for now.

Also, yes, I did change Jill's dad's name. Thanks for asking.

Father: Richard Valentine.

Mother: Kiyoko Iwasaki.

Kiyoko and Richard met and fell in love when Richard traveled to Japan for “business” in 1972. Kiyoko was a waitress at his favorite restaurant, and a friend of the friend he was staying with during his visit.

Richard’s work had him staying in Japan for an extended period of time, which allowed him to get to know Kiyoko, until eventually he asked her out. The two of them started dating, but before they had the chance to figure out their relationship properly, Kiyoko got pregnant. They had been dating for a solid three months when this happened.

Worried of being disowned by her family, Kiyoko proposed they get married immediately. It was only later that Kiyoko came to find out about the "business" that Richard was truly doing. That he was a thief who had been hired for what ended up being the biggest bank heist of all time in Japan. Although Kiyoko was unhappy with this revelation, Richard managed to make enough money to convince her to run away with him so they could continue living together in the US, where no one would disrupt their love. Kiyoko agreed, placing all her hopes on Richard to change his life once they’d returned to the US. She tried to convince him to use the money that he had to start a business or some kind of trade, but Richard had no intention to change his lifestyle. His love for Kiyoko was unconditional and he hoped that she would love him as he was, despite his flaws.

Kiyoko would spend the following months, up until Jill’s birth, regretting ever meeting Richard and leaving her home and family for him. In addition to her relationship problems with Richard, Kiyoko was also struggling to fit into a society that was so different from what she’d known all her life, dealing with culture shock and language barriers, despite Richard’s best efforts to make her feel welcome and at home.

It was five years after Jill’s birth that Kiyoko decided she was done. She’d been saving up money from her job as a waitress at a Japanese restaurant, and one day, while Richard was out with Jill, she packed her things and left them both, hoping to erase this mistake from her life and start fresh. Richard had no idea where Kiyoko went. He contacted her parents but they hadn’t heard from her. Even his friend hadn’t seen her.

Richard was left heartbroken after Kiyoko abandoned him and their daughter, and he would spend the following years raising Jill as a single parent, doing his best to build a strong relationship with her and shower her in love. He never wanted her to feel the lack of a mother’s love, and so he tried to compensate for it with his own. And despite being abandoned by her mother at a young age, Jill still had a healthy relationship with her father, and had a decent understanding of parental love and care, even if she did sometimes long for a mother’s touch.

Overall, Jill grew up to be quite a compassionate and caring person, although her moral standing wasn’t entirely aligned with the law, and she was more than happy being a thief-in-the-making when her dad started teaching her lockpicking, and even allowed her to join him on some of his mini jobs. It was only when she turned eighteen, and Richard got caught and thrown in prison, that she finally had the first fallout with her father. He apologized for raising her the way he did, told her it was his fault her mother left them, and expressed his regret for not having been a better father and husband. He begged her to find a better path for herself than the one he was dragging her into. He encouraged her to join the military. Although Jill wasn’t excited about the prospect of being a soldier, she didn’t want to disappoint her dad, and so she did as he told her to make him happy, hoping she could figure out what kind of life she wanted for herself, eventually.

Ultimately, it was Richard who influenced Jill to join S.T.A.R.S. where her lockpicking and puzzle-solving skills would be of use, and they were. Following her father’s wishes, Jill moved to Raccoon City and became an official member of S.T.A.R.S.’ Alpha Team, under Captain Albert Wesker’s command. Despite their rocky relationship in the past couple years, Jill still loved and cared for her father very much, and would attempt to mend their relationship eventually.

[daracharm]

idea lol:

his Nami fanboys heard about Suzaki Ryo in a school alliance going against Oya. at first they didn't believe it, the Suzaki Ryo they know is a cool, lone-wolf, shut-in, no way he is in an alliance, a group of people? Suzaki-san? they've never thought they'd hear it in the same sentence.

it's even worse after the whole situation, what do you mean he has this horrible rich spoiled guy that stabbed him as his friend? and he forgives him for being horrible to him??? Suzaki-san's a saint for letting that thing near his vicinity.

unable to accept the fact that Suzaki Ryo is, in fact, friends with this Amagai guy they take to Senomon and challenge him to see if he's worthy of being Suzaki-san's friend.

cut to Kohei and Ryo after the end credits in the worst x as they try to work their friendship, where Kohei feels super guilty about the things he's done and tries to compensate Ryo in typical rich kid raised by emotionally absent parents fashion, buying him luxuries, paying for his food, having dinner at a fancy restaurant and all that rich people stuff and Ryo feels super uncomfortable and out of place but he thinks it'll be ungrateful of him to say no.

Kohei thinks maybe he's not doing enough because Ryo looks unhappy, so he takes him to more fancier places, buys him brand names only the top 0.01% has heard of ect. it makes Ryo even more uncomfortable but Kohei thinks it's not enough cause Ryo's still not happy, sometimes he wonders back to the thought of that Ryo hates him after what he has done to him and now is only here to leech off of him after he's accuse him so many times before Ryo finally decides to play the role he gave him in his mind and questions his friendship with Ryo. his thoughts get so bad he starts to spiral and finds himself bumping in to Tsukasa and basically truma dumps on him, he figured that the person who already openly hates him is the only person who will be honest to him.

conventionally Fujio and Sachio is also there and they give him friendship wisdom (common sense), like 'have you tried actually saying sorry', 'idk man, have you talked to him about it' and stuff that helps Kohei figure it out

cut to Ryo who is re-thinking his friendship and thinks he can't be friends with Kohei because of their vastly different lifestyles they'll eventually fall-off in the end. he decides to talk to Kohei about it tomorrow.

tomorrow arrives and the Nami gang has made it to Senomon just before Ryo is about to talk to Kohei about their problem the Nami high kids challenges Kohei, He looks at Ryo and Kohei accepts.

Kohei gets the shit beaten out of him, on his last leg. the Nami kids asks something like, 'why does Susaki-san even want to be friends with a guy like him' and Kohei answers that he isn't even sure if Ryo still wants to be friends with him but he does, he is sorry for the things he did and he is still trying to make it up to Ryo, (I'm bad at this 😭) and Ryo is all anime shojo eyed and like 'Ko-chan, of course I still want to be friends with you' and runs to Kohei's aid and they kiss. The Nami kids are like 'so you want to be friends with this thing Suzaki-san?' Ryo's like 'yes? why else would I be by his side?' and they all are like 'if he makes Suzaki-san happy then we're happy for him.'

fin.

do you all think Ryo has fanboys that reacted the same way a gg stan would when their girl dates a man who is (in their eyes) below her (like a goddess and some dude) when Ryo moved schools to be w Kohei

[thewcllingtons]

💥 (Ryder)

Send 💥 for a headcanon I’ve always wanted to talk about, but haven’t had the chance to yet.

Ryder’s initial training for the Manor was to work in the field. His outgoing personality makes it seem that he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. Even he would agree with the statement, but when the manor chose placements, he was chosen for the field. He didn’t past the courses of what to do in case things went south. However, his marksmanship is impeccable, and his planning skills were virtually seamless if he planned the mission. Ryder’s choice was often engaging in long-range activities like sniper, and things of that nature. There was a point where he planned a lot of ambushes. For a while, it seemed that he would be the main field guy until a brief slip up occurred. One of the men on his team decided to attack a civilian against his orders. Ryder knew that he couldn’t be responsible for people’s actions, but it weighed on him enough that he wanted out. It was then that he made the switch to being the manor’s supply chain operator for most of the machinery and weaponry that would come through. He doesn’t like to talk about this period of his life since it was only two full years of being a mission leader. He has put significantly more time and energy coordinating in hopes that the shift and time makes up for all the hurt he’s caused.

[cinnamonest]

Rewriting my Diluc housewife thoughts but I saved it in my notes this time, but I made it infinitely more sexist than it already was before bc 1) I was in the kink mood and 2) the spirits of writing gods possessed my body and told me that is the way all Diluc content should be, so, this is major 1950s-ish housewifey horrendously misogynistic shit, you've been warned. Like, even *I* looked back over this and was like "wow this is vile" which is kinda saying something for me so, putting the nastier parts under cut for the sake of my followers' eyes ----------- I was thinking about the post a while back about Diluc reforming a criminal darling - a thief around Mondstadt that's been on a crime spree and of course he catches wind of that and goes to defeat the perpetrator (surprisingly very easy? How is a thief this weak?) and haul the bastard off to jail except... What's this? Said criminal is actually just some girl and not a gross ugly bastard?? This changes things. Clearly, this was not an intentional act of malice or greed, but rather, he, master of criminal psychology™, rationalizes that the world is far too cruel for unwifed girls that have no one to depend on, a cold terrible place, so you must have been driven to these actions out of desperation. You had no provider, no caretaker, which are needs. How could you possibly be expected to provide a means of living for yourself?? This is just the consequences of the unfairness of the world. However, things all work out in the end. You need to be taken care of and restrained from these self-destructive choices by force (since you cannot recognize how bad it is, not that you're expected to, it's natural that you have poor perception, that's why you need a man to make choices for you), and he needs a wife. This solution benefits all parties.

He is, however, a rather dense man, and doesn't really think to like, tell you that. Or tell you anything. He's too lost in thought in his planning -- gonna get you new clothes to replace your ragged ones, gonna have to rearrange the guard schedule so they can watch the house better, all that -- and just kinda slings you up and over his shoulder without a word. Ignores you kicking and hitting because it doesn't really hurt or anything, you're too weak for that. Just says he’ll explain in detail later, but don’t worry, you’re not going to jail. He’s just taking you home. This is better, he says. Stop struggling so much, what, you want to go to jail? No? Then be still. And you don't recognize that it's good for you yet, but again, that's expected. In a better time or society, you would have been married off sooner, and prevented from ever falling victim to your own decision making to begin with, but the world isn't perfect and you can be forgiven for it. You're not responsible for your own actions since you can't comprehend them. It's frustrating and he sighs a bit over it, but that's just the way things are. You'll be happy in the long run, even if it takes a while, you're naturally programmed for a better lifestyle he has in mind. And, really, he's glad you weren't married off, because if you were then he never would have had you, so even though it was technically unideal, the stars align and the universe works out things perfectly. It's all the more of a sign that this was fate and you were made for him. The issue is that a hardened criminal darling is... Not the ideal candidate for a housewife. To some extent, he's right that the criminal underworld hardens a person, you can't survive in that realm if you're submissive or weak willed. And criminal darling certainly is not. Loud mouthed, opinionated, argumentative, bad attitude, defiant and aggressive and very much unafraid. A complete loose cannon. All very unfavorable traits. Worst of all, very much unaccepting of and ungrateful for the privilege of a second chance and being graciously granted the opportunity for a better life. Lots of bad behaviors.

The cursing is a problem. It's not very... Wife-like. Gives off a bad image, you know. Especially since said cursing is usually directed at him at a very loud volume with a snarl and getting all up in his face to tell him he's fucking insane and a bastard. To be honest, the worst part isn't the words themselves, it's the fact that you are so unafraid to be defiant and so fiery that is the primary issue. You disobey very deliberately. Little acts of pettiness. Being mean to the maids who are so graciously trying to teach you how to cook (at his direction), since you had no idea how to (and nearly burned his house down as a result). The first time you were mean and bitter and that's how you learned they report back to him about how you behaved. It did not go over well.  

Intentionally burning food. Once you somehow found a bottle in a cabinet somewhere in the mansion and put rat poison in his food, made him sick. Muttering a sarcastic whoops and shoving a vase off to crash and shatter on the floor. Early on you refused to wear all the nice dresses you were generously given and even tried to go through his clothes to find something to wear, which was kinda cute since it was way too big, but still. You mutter and grumble under your breath every time you're given a command. The most important thing is sex, though. You know, your job. One of your only real responsibilities. He has a very stressful job. It's only reasonable that he can expect to come home to his sweet, loving little wife with open arms and equally open legs. You've probably fucked around a bit right? For money, for favors, for intel, you get the idea, lots of ties to criminal gangs to earn their trust. So, if you do it for something so insignificant, how much more does he deserve it for taking care of you fully? You should -- and you will, with time -- drop to your knees the second he walks through the door. But instead, sigh, you fight and whimper and cover your face in shame after you spasm and cum, and worst of all, you actively try not to cum. You shouldn't feel ashamed of that, it's good, he says. Sure, you may not be officially married (since the laws of Mondstadt unfortunately require that whole "consent" thing for both parties, ugh), but, he's basically your husband right? So, it's perfectly normal, you're supposed to cum for him. Maybe once you're all knocked up you'll be even hornier, and less shameful. He actually wasn't expecting you to be this bad. Incredibly stubborn and prideful. Literally the exact opposite traits of a good wife, you know, submissive and humble and obedient. He kinda thought that it was like... automatic. That once he just kinda shoved you in the right environment, it would be like flipping a switch right? Apparently not. But no matter. It can be changed, with effort and time. You're worth it. See, you're not supposed to backtalk him, you're supposed to smile and do what you're told without question. You're supposed to submit and obey, and instead you seem hellbent on pissing him off out of spite - and frankly, you're doing a good job of achieving that. Every time you defy him it sparks an irritation he can't describe, worse than he'd normally get from just being snarled at by anyone - no, something about being disrespected by someone he feels is beneath him makes him much, much angrier than it would be if it were, say, one of the business partners who get snappy and argumentative very frequently. He could break you and it would be easy, don't you know that? You stomp and you hit him and you yell, but clearly you process that you have to look up to look him in the eye, you have to realize how much smaller you are. You hit him even though you have to know by now he'll just grab your wrists, and like always you'll be unable to even hope of pulling out of his grip, the strength difference between you two is so great. There's no way you don't realize all that, yet you continue to behave the way you do. The inferiority is so blatantly obvious, but you act as if it's not. He spends a lot of time contemplating the source of this, the cause of your behavior, it occupies his thoughts. It's like... You resent him for something. Could it possibly be kidnapping you and keeping you as a glorified sex slave? No, no, that's not it. It's something else, yes. Are you just bitter about being inferior in, you know, every conceivable way? Is that it? The criminality for you was compensation to make you feel powerful, perhaps. You have a complex. You resent him not for anything he's done, but because you know he's stronger and smarter and generally superior to you. You don't want to accept it. You're prideful when you shouldn't be. You're supposed to be humble and content with your inferiority. Yeah, that's it. You just have a negative perception of the lifestyle you're supposed to have. Maybe some event in your life or someone else warped your view of things. You don't realize how happy you'd be if you just accepted it. Yes, if you submitted to it, if you swallowed your pride and actually accepted your place, you'd find you would be very happy, you just don't know that. Or maybe, your brain can't grasp something like that. After all, that's the reason you're supposed to be the submissive party of the two of you, you're not as bright or perceptive (says the densest man alive). You have to be... Led. Guided. So he says it. He is, again, a dense man. He does not really think about the fact that perhaps blatantly confronting you with the epiphany he thinks he's had and specifically using the words inferior and weak and small is probably not going to make you very happy. You get bitchy and bratty and try to hit him and he sighs because, see, this is exactly what he's talking about. You reacting the way you did only confirms you do have a complex, he says. So, how could he go about... reconditioning? He is not the most creative man, but thankfully it's a rather easy problem to solve. If you're reminded of a reality often enough, you have to accept it. For starters, using physical strength against you. Maybe that will metaphorically open your eyes. Holds you down in place when you're hitting him like you do, firmly bending you over a counter or whatever and just holding you in place. Come on, try to get up, try to push him off. You snarl and claw at the marble and push will all your strength, but he doesn't budge, not until you politely apologize and ask him to let you up. If you're being difficult and not going where he tells you to, well, he can just sling you up over his shoulder and carry you. If you're fighting being fucked he can just flip you over and press your face into the mattress and hold you still, and you can't help but take the brutal reality that you're basically a ragdoll to him, that is, physically overpowering you doesn't even require trying. It helps to knock you down a peg, remind you of your place and maybe get you to swallow that pride a bit. The orgasms and fucking have a similar effect -- every time you can't help but feel like he has a power over you. And really, he kinda does. Every time you lay there still panting and shivering in aftershock, the shame comes swarming in, all the obscene noises you made and the way you came undone under the person that treats you like property. Even if the rational part of you knows better, you can't help but feel like in a way it's like you let him win, allowed yourself to more or less prove him right. Maybe you'll learn better if you're in more humiliating positions. Stuck getting rammed from behind, hand forcing your face down and ass up. Actually correcting bad behaviors requires more direct approaches, so he takes the... Old fashioned route. After all, it's pretty much guaranteed to work. You don't listen to words, you don't listen to reason, but you'll certainly listen to handprints and belt welts on your ass. It's the first time you really, truly break, and that brings him a lot of satisfaction. The first time you really cry and whimper and beg and apologize so profusely it feels like you mean it for once. Granted, for a while you just persist in your bad behaviors and even try to run when you see him sigh and take the belt off, but you never get far. And, most notably, you actually fix your behaviors, with enough reminders. At one point, the next time you start being bad and get to bitching and snarling and putting up a fight, you catch the look on his face and, for once, you shut your mouth and look down and mumble an apology by default. See, you're learning. Speaking of, you still have that major issue with backtalking him. You're supposed to submit to him and acknowledge his authority over you. So he gets firm. Grabs you by the jaw and forces you to look him in the eye and reminds you that you will *not* get an attitude with him. You *will* show some respect. You say yes sir and no sir and do what you're told. And if you forget, he can give you a reminder, if you want that. But you shake your head with fear in your eyes, say you don't want that. It makes you mad. You want to lash back, but you swallow your pride and mutter a fine - before realizing the mistake, violating the rule you were just reminded of. You stammer out a yes sir but it's already too late. He has to control himself too, not let his anger get the better of him. He speaks in a way that isn't snarling and mean, but rather firm, cold, a flat tone that asserts dominance and demands respect. But... still wants you to like him. So he has to be nice, too. After all, you'll learn better if you're rewarded for being good, right? So you can get little rewards. Words of affirmation. A pat to the head. He'll buy you something you want, let you drink a bit (since, as a thief, of course, you had a problem with that before you came home, but that had to be corrected too, since drunkenness isn't very befitting). And sooner or later he does have a really good little wife. He's proud of you. You smile and obey commands without complaining. He can come home every day, and rather than hearing a long report from the staff about how much trouble you caused that day, instead you have food and smiles and sweet affection waiting on him, you hug him when he walks through the door. You're polite and sweet to the various business partners and guests that come through -- you don't speak to them without permission though, of course, and you look down at the ground so you don't make eye contact with another man. People say he's lucky and how they wish they had a wife that was so outwardly affectionate to them as you are to him, always clinging to him physically. And you don't complain or every object to anything, you just smile and say yes and do it. It makes him happy in a weird way he can't quite articulate. A warm swell of pride, a feeling of success. You have vague memories of a time when you were breaking into houses just to scrape by, not knowing when you'd eat next, not knowing where you'd sleep. It's kind of a fuzzy memory now. You don't have to worry about those things anymore, and you're a lot happier this way.

[everything-withered]

If you’re taking prompts, Rukia and Ichigo are neighbours who hate each other and then they get stuck in an elevator. I’m not saying that this should include smut but I’m also not against it :)

My prompts are always open, I might take awhile to get to them, but they’ll be there ~marinating~ There’s a longer version on ao3, I’ll reblog with the link since tumblr hates outside links, but I hope you enjoy it!

They're silent as they head towards the elevators, bypassing a sign that warns that connectivity in the elevator has been disabled for maintenance and if there are issues to call the security desk directly. Already antsy about her vaguely formed plan to cut loose without an outlet for the way her skin itches, she doesn't pay the sign much mind except to vaguely wonder what issue they could possibly encounter in an elevator.

Getting stuck in one, apparently.

They're facing each other on opposite ends of the box when the elevator stops moving, and all Rukia can think when the lights dim around them is fucking great.

"Fuck," Rukia exhales.

Over the phone with the security desk, Ichigo slants a look at her before relying a beat later, "They said they'll have it fixed in about an hour."

With a sound of acknowledgement, she lets her messenger bag fall onto the floor at her side as she slouches where she stands, trying to draw her focus to literally anything else except for the ache she's invited between her thighs.

This is why she usually works until she passes out from exhaustion. Rukia's always been the kind of person who gives everything or nothing. Unfortunately, biology identifies that kind of mindset as dangerous - without balance - and so it tries to compensate, tries to create equilibrium. Sometimes it means shutting off her brain with the endorphins derived from sweets or with a horror movie marathon. Sometimes its sex.

And because she's an idiot, and Ichigo's the cause of the sexual frustration that isn't derived from her disregard of maintaining a normal lifestyle that involves regular periods of rest, of course, her body's wrapped up in the thought of coming sometime in the very near future.

It'll make her pissy until it happens.

Which is fine.

Ichigo's used to that.

They're usually trying to take each other's heads off, this'll hardly be anything new. He'll probably just chalk it up her being a bitch.

It's fine.

It is.

It's not.

Rukia doesn't even remember what they're arguing about that has them meeting in the middle of the elevator, as nose to nose as they can be given their height difference, before there aren't any words anymore. Just the firm press of lips, the sharp sting of teeth, the knowing swipe of a tongue. 

Ichigo's cupping her cheeks and sliding his fingers through her hair, pulling just enough to make sparks of awareness tingle from her scalp down her spine.

For an instant, he mistakes her groan for pain, but when he loosens his hold - tries to withdraw - she catches his mouth in hers and pushes them until Ichigo's back is to the wall, and the hand not in her hair moves down her straining chest. It's always like this for her, zero to a hundred, when she's wired there's something...hungry about her, something that needs to do and be and take.

Not everyone she sleeps with can handle it.

Another sound, a whimper, is muffled with Ichigo's bruising kiss as his finger tugs a button loose almost by accident in his exploration before landing at the waistband of her pencil skirt.

And while anyone else would have fiddled around beneath her coat trying to find the zipper for the skirt and tug it down, Ichigo just squeezes at her hip firm enough for Rukia to feel the pads of his fingers, tilts his head and gives as much as she's willing. All too happy, it seems, to let her lead.

She purrs at the pleasure of it, of not having to fight for a control she craves - and not being treated softer than she is in exchange for it. Ichigo's just as relentless and demanding and infuriating as always.

Even as he groans, friction between them met in spine-tingling shock, he makes no move whatsoever to do anything about it except to rock back, purposeful and unforgiving, through the many layers that separate them.  

"Jesus, fuck," she exhales, somewhere between agitated and aroused. 

Either way, Ichigo growls in response, and with a tug of his hand, he has her skirt hiked up to her waist and his hand in front of her underwear and - "yes, yes, god, fuck. Touch me, please, Ichigo, I -"

Rukia only realizes he'd come with nothing but her words and her thigh between his legs, but not before he slips his fingers between her lips, and not before he crooks his fingers and bites kisses down her neck as she whimpers and keens into his hair.

The lights flicker on to full brightness by the time she's managed to regain a normal enough amount of awareness, dazed as she still is, and all she really notices is the flush on Ichigo's cheeks, his neck, the triangle of skin at his throat where she'd tugged his tie loose and pawed at his chest.

She should feel bad about that, she should think.

But Ichigo's just staring at her - eyes heavily lidded, mouth red and tongue flicking out to wet his lips in a tease. He looks deliciously debauched and as usual, completely unrepentant where any normal person would be embarrassed. A fact that is evidenced by his drawl, "If I knew all it took for you to look at me twice was to piss you off in an elevator, I would've done it a lot earlier."

[mass-effect-tales]

403 Forbidden

Yeah hey hi I'm alive and back with a new fic. I really have no excuse for disappearing so I hope you enjoy this fic as an apology!

Chapter 1: Zero

When most people in the Citadel think of c-sec the image that comes to mind is uniformed turians patrolling with the rare human within the ranks. Marie Hitomi does not fit the image of a c-sec officer.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to put your hands behind your back and step into the car." Marie said as she took out her handcuffs to arrest the inebriated krogan in front of her. To the krogan Marie looked like a child with her four foot five frame against his seven foot build. Unable to stop himself the krogan laughed, leaning against the c-sec vehicle to keep from falling over.

"I didn't know it was take your kid to work day! Where's your daddy little girl? Didn't he tell you not to talk to strangers." The krogan laughed harder as Marie's face turned a deep shade of red. The krogan's laughter turned to spluttering as her partner and mentor Garrus Vakarian turned the krogan around and began to cuff him.

"Sir I'm going to ask you not to mock my partner while you're in the middle of being charged for public intoxication." Garrus said as he eased the krogan into the back of the car. Marie was already walking over to the passenger side and climbing in. She wished her hair was longer so she could hide her embarrassed face.

"You did good today, two traffic stops and a public intoxication, I'd say that's a productive day." Garrus praised, giving her shoulder a pat. He meant every word; it had been 5 months since Marie graduated top of her class in c-sec academy and Garrus became her mentor. While most of the others in the force either ignored her or bet she'd quit before the year was over, Garrus and Chellick did all they could to make her feel welcome at the c-sec office.

"Garrus, this is the eighth time that I've been mocked on duty. No matter what I do, the only ones that seem to take me seriously are the volus and that's only because I'm taller than them!" Marie huffed, looking out the window as Garrus drove to the station. No matter what she tried it seemed no one would take her seriously except Garrus and Chellick. When they arrived at the station she helped Garrus drag the now passed out krogan into the drunk tank before returning to their shared office. Both were surprised to see Chellick waiting for them with a pair of files in his hand.

"Perfect timing you two; I have a case from executor Palin and I want you both on the team." Chellick passed Garrus and Marie each a file with a list of companies and dates.

"Someone has been hacking into these companies. So far nothing seems to have been changed but since the first report more companies have found backdoor programs in their systems and we're being pressured to find the culprit before they decide to take action."

Marie felt like she was going to burst with excitement. Finally a way to prove herself! If she could help solve this case then people would have to take her seriously!

"Do we have any leads? Did the cybercrime division find anything?" Marie questioned as she looked up at Chellick. This was her first real case and she was going to do everything she could to show she could handle it. She didn't like the way Chellick's mandibles fluttered as he looked away.

"Unfortunately the cybercrime division couldn't find even a trace of the hacker. The backdoor program seems to be made completely from scratch and doesn't match any known hackers we've arrested before."

Garrus leaned against his desk as he pondered the best course of action. While he was good with tech, hacking wasn't one of his strong suits. He knew Marie only knew how to override door locks and Chellick had zero experience in either case. If they were going to solve this, they were going to need a professional on the team.

"If that's the case then we should hire one of these hackers. The best way to catch a hacker is with another hacker." Garrus suggested, moving to sit down and turn on his computer. "Remember the case with the information leak at Rosenkov Materials? We hired that quarian who figured out it was a Rosenkov employee leaking the info."

Chellick nodded, remembering the case well. It was a sound idea, something that he was thinking of himself as he waited for Garrus and Marie returned.

"The only question is who would want to work with c-sec? Most of the known hackers have been arrested by us at least once."

"I might have an idea." Marie piped up making Chellick and Garrus look over at her. What if we hire one that hasn't been caught by c-sec?"

Both Garrus and Chellick's browplates rose in confusion. It wasn't a bad idea per se, they just didn't know where to look for a hacker that hasn't been caught. Marie grinned and grabbed her jacket as she headed out the door.

"I'll be back, just going to take a trip to see Barla Von."

--------------------------

Noxis was jolted awake at the sound of a gunfight outside his apartment. Taking a peek outside he could see a couple of blood pack members were in a shootout with some blue suns that wandered too close to their turf. With a groan Noxis tried to drown out the sound of gunfire by playing some music from his omni-tool as he dressed for the day. Turning on his computer a notification popped up with a message from one of his contacts. He read the message as he microwaved leftovers from yesterday's takeout.

Z,

Got a message from B, says he has a potential client for you. Names Marie Hitomi and B said she seems desperate to find a hacker.

Here's the catch, B mentioned she said she's with c-sec at the Citadel.

Let me know if you take the job, I would love to hear why c-sec is desperate for a hacker.

- V

Noxis raised a browplate as he finished reading the message. Taking a bite out of his still slightly cold noodles he began an extensive search on Marie Hitomi to see who he was dealing with.

--------------------------

Marie could feel herself falling asleep at her computer as she finished filing another report. She was left behind at the station while Garrus and Chellick left to collect the hard drives from the first reported incident. Suddenly a chat box opened in the middle of her screen. Confused Marie tried to close out the window only to see that there was no close button. A message suddenly appeared in the chat with the name Zero as the sender.

Zero: I hear you're looking for a hacker

Marie didn't know how to react. Was this the hacker Barla Von mentioned he was going to get her in contact with yesterday or was this their culprit messing with her?

Zero: our mutual acquaintance mentioned you to me

Well that at least reassured her that this was the hacker Barla Von mentioned. After a pause she sent a reply.

MH: Yes, I'm looking for a hacker to assist with a case. You of course will be compensated for your work assisting c-sec.

Zero: meet me at Purgatory, we can discuss payment there

Before she could reply the chat box closed and she was left staring at the report she was reviewing. Quickly sending a message to Garrus she grabbed her jacket and quickly rushed out of the station. Since she wasn't cleared to drive a squad car on her own yet she would have to reach Purgatory on foot.

It only took ten minutes for Marie to reach Purgatory and a minute inside the club to realize she didn't know what this Zero person looked like. Even at 2 in the afternoon the club was bustling with people dancing and drinking. She was going to sit at the bar and hope Zero sees her when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Follow me." A distinctly turian voice said to her as she was led to a booth nearby. Sitting down Marie was surprised to see a barefaced turian sit down across from her. In the dim lighting his carapace looked almost black but Marie could see by the table light that it was really a dark grey. The white sleeveless hoodie he wore stood out against the dark plates of his bare arms.

"So princess, care to explain why you need a hacker instead of talking to your buddies in cybercrime?" He asked, opening his omni-tool to reread some data he found on her. Marie bristled at the nickname. She had been called multiple nicknames in just the few months she had been on the force but nothing made her react in the way his nickname did.

"The name is officer Hitomi and I would appreciate you using it." She said, hands balling into fists under the table. She could see Zero give her what she guessed was a turian version of a smirk as he pulled up a photo on his omni-tool. To her horror she could see it was a photo of her when she was fifteen and her mother tried to get her into the beauty pageant lifestyle.

"Really? Because I think princess suits you just fine." He chuckled, minimizing the photo and pulling up another window; this one with a photo of her and her parents and older brother.

"Marie Hitomi, second born to Robert and Sayumi Hitomi. Your family runs Suzaku Industry and Hitomi Technical University right? Daughter of a businessman and a university Dean on Earth and yet you're working as a cop on the Citadel. What's wrong? Don't want to go into the family business so you're rebelling against mom and dad?"

Marie didn't want to give him the satisfaction of being right and remained silent. Zero chuckled again as he sent an invoice to her omni-tool. A glance at her showed he was asking for 100,000 credits.

"If you want a professional hacker then you're going to be charged a professional hackers fee. I don't come cheap but I'm good at what I do. If you can't handle it then I'd suggest finding someone else." Zero smirked, leaning back and relaxing into the booth. If c-sec was really desperate for a hacker then he was going to get as much credits as he could from them.

"Of course I'll wait here if you have to go and ask your superiors for the money. I'm sure they have some tax dollars lying around somewhere."

"Done."

He was surprised when his omni-tool dinged with a credit transfer confirmation. Looking at the confirmation message he wasn't expecting to see the money came from her personal account. He looked back at Marie who looked proud of herself. Maybe his silent hunch that she was a trust fund brat playing cop wasn't too far off.

"Well with that settled, I think I deserve to know your name since we'll be working together and all." Marie said as she stood up and held a hand out to him. Even in the dim light he could see the fingernail indents in her palms as he took her hand and gave her a lazy handshake.

"The names Noxis Venictus, can't say I'm pleased to be working with you just yet Princess."

[onisiondrama]

RealStream’s Onision Interview Summary Part 2

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

RS asks why Kai hasn’t spoken up about anything. James says Kai doesn’t want to engage in drama. He says himself and Trump are not mentally past high school, but Kai is fully mature. He compares Kai to LedaBunny, DanIsNotOnFire, and Jenna Marbles. He says they are mature and when they see drama they leave instead of engaging with it. He says people like himself like to get in the drama pit and fight.

RS asks if Kai would come back or if he’s done. James says he seriously doubts Kai will come back because he trusted someone as a friend and got stabbed him in the back 50 times. He says Sarah only said bad things about Kai because she wanted to get back at James because James rejected her.

RS says Sarah accused Kai of sending her pictures, but as time passed it turns out they were from the computer Sarah bought from Kai. James says it’s stupid to discuss this because that’s for Kai to discuss, but he wants to say Kai would rather vomit than send something like that to Sarah.

(James was mean to Sarah until she became an adult story.) He says Kai had similar feelings. He says he doesn’t know what it is about Billie, but they were stuck on her for a really long time and Sarah hated that they wanted Billie. RS asks if they were stuck on Billie when they were with Sarah. James says they are stuck on Billie to this day, “however sad that is.” He says they will go through scenarios on what if they were still with Billie even though she wronged them.

RS asks what James thinks of Billie going on Chris Hansen. James says he doesn’t know, he didn’t see it. He says if you make Billie mad, she’ll probably try to hurt you. He says she probably went on there out of spite because she was rejected.

He says he outted Billie for things for things he probably should have not outted her for. She said he was the worst person she ever encountered. He was dumb enough to list the things she told him other people did to her. He says Ayalla wrote him and asked him to take it down and he took it down. [Off of twitter. Then he uploaded a video saying all those things. He deleted the video, then later re-uploaded it to another channel. He also listed these things in a sketch and mentioned one of them on twitter recently.]

RS asks why Ayalla kept inserting herself. James says Billie has an umbilical cord attached to Ayalla. He says he would try to point out to Billie that her relationship to Ayalla was unhealthy. He says she would have Billie hang out with drug dealers and was not morally compatible with their lifestyle. Billie told him Ayalla goes wherever she goes. James says they should just get married. He says when Billie was caught cheating, that night Ayalla tried to sneak her out. He says they were trying to act like they were in a danger situation. He says you’re supposed to make it right, not sneak away. He said that was Ayalla’s doing.

(He asked Billie to get a Lilly tattoo story, Remember Love tattoo story) RS asks if James can see that’s a little toxic. James says don’t lie to people. He says if you cheat on the woman of you dreams and all you have to do to prove how much you care about the relationship is by doing something like getting a tattoo. He says she could design the tattoo herself and she already had a bunch of tattoos of sculls and flowers. He thought “another flower, who cares?” He wanted them to get a symbol of love and it doesn’t have to be something exclusive to the person. Like his “remember love” tattoo he got for Shiloh. He said it didn’t have to be a tattoo, but they had to show they cared. He gives another made-up example with Kai asking him to get a Power Ranger tattoo for him. He says he would have gotten that tattoo anyway. He says they were giving Billie an easy out and Ayalla made it out like they were crazy.

Months later Billie tried to get back together with them. He says Billie was sick at the time, but they had a baby so they didn’t want to get the baby sick. Billie agreed to come in a hazmat suit. He says she also agreed to sitting in their bedroom / basement with a 50-foot cord to a dog collar. He says they had a big projector down there and they would have given her pizza delivery. He says it was very kinky, but he wasn’t thinking about it sexually. He says he was thinking it would have been something he would have loved to do if he betrayed someone and they were giving him a 2nd chance. He says in hindsight, it looks creepy. He says kinks like bondage becomes unflattering when you’re not still with that person. RS agrees. He says in texts she said she didn’t want to do it, but over the phone she was down for it.

Before she came he asked her if she was still doing illegal drugs. She said yes and he said she couldn’t come. She said “lol be bad.” [”Lol be bad” was not in response to him saying she couldn’t come. It was when he was accusing her of lying and betraying them over text.] He says it was bizarre and it seemed like she didn’t care. He said that’s when she went on her rants about how horrible they are, because they didn’t want to be around criminal behavior. [She did not go on any unprovoked rants. He was the one that started shit over and over on twitter and made multiple videos about her pot smoking. He kept calling her a liar and criminal scum. He said "I wish people could overdose on pot. Far less druggy scumbags in the world." She didn’t really say much until after he release her private information. You can read the whole twitter fight here.]

RS says it’s been years since Ayalla was around them personally. (Social Repose threatening to leak info on Ayalla story.) James asks what they did that was so bad that they were afraid of SR leaking? He says Ayalla was in their house losing her mind because of SR. He says it was 2016.

RS says whenever Ayalla loses relevancy, she brings up James. James says he doesn’t know, he doesn’t pay attention to that. He says maybe she gets more support on OnlyFans.

James asks why Ayalla never addresses her trying to have sex with Sarah? RS immediately agrees and asks how old Sarah was at the time. [Why is RS so skeptical of all the accusations against James, but totally believes James’ accusation against Ayalla??] James says Ayalla was 19 and Sarah was 16, but he could be wrong. He says she tried to accuse people who weren’t trying to sleep with Sarah when she was actively trying to sleep with Sarah? He says she’s projecting.

RS says you can call Onision a bad guy, but being a bad guy doesn’t send you to prison.

RS shows a text from Sarah on screen:

RS says that proves there was never any grooming. James says Sarah said, “if anything I groomed you guys” as an adult.

He says he posted a video from when they kicked her out for texting someone about how she was trying to get with them. He says she was plotting and being malicious and creepy. [If you actually watch the video from back then, he says it’s not her fault they are sending her home, he blame the internet for making things weird. Also, the message she sent the friend wasn’t her plotting to be with them. She told the friend that James told her she would be in a relationship with Kai one day. Transcript]

RS starts asking a question, but spells out r-a-p-e. They start talking about Youtube and monetization. James says Youtube told him the primary keyword on his channel was “rape.” He says he never used that word in keywords, but he realized they were using every word he said from voice recognition.

RS says everyone asks why don’t Kai and James press charges against Sarah for sexually extorting them? James says they would have to spend thousands and they would have to re-live the situation again. He says Kai still hasn’t talked about it because he’s so traumatized by everything he went through. He says police have bigger priorities and it’s probably more of a civil case. He asks how he would get compensation if Sarah is broke?

James said a guy Kai dated in high school admitted to raping him. They dated a long time ago. Kai went to the police and they sidebar him even though this guy admitted to it. James says he should be embarrassed because for a long time he told people if this happened to you you should go to the police or you’re helping that person get away with their crime. He says now he knows you need video evidence to get justice and even then it’s still hard.

He says people think Sarah lived with them when they dated, but she was just visiting. She lived with them before, but was kicked out. He says people say he raised Sarah, but he met her when she was 16. Says it’s legal in his state to be with someone 16, but they were with Billie. They didn’t pursue her after she turned 18. Then she sexually extorted them after she said she was r-a-p-e-d and they felt bad for her.

He says he already lost money on a lawyer.

[dessiekarma]

My Harem is Entirely Bad Boy Types (Kirisaki Daiichi x Reader) Pt. 9

Chapter 9: Finally Seto’s Getting His Allotted Chapter with the Protagonist! All the Other Guys Got Their’s!

“Do you really think it’s her?” Hara asked pushing the phone Furuhashi, who was scrutinizing it just as heavily.

 “It looks like her but you know…really different.” Seto said zooming in on his own phone.

 “Do you think she’s seen it? Is that why she’s not at practice this morning?” Hara said before answering his own question. “I’m pretty sure this was sent to everyone at Kirisaki Daiichi and then some.”

 “Well that proves it then doesn’t it?” Yamazaki sounding angry. “We spend all that fucking time defending her and for what if it was all true?”

“We don’t know that it’s all true.” Seto urged halfheartedly.

 “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one! Remember what that lady said about her not being a good girl and how she even agreed she wasn’t always a good person? Then the fact that this mystery thing went down in middle school that she never tells us about. Or the mystery Touou thing that she also never told us about. Top it all off with this picture of her from her first year and its kinda obvious that Mei wasn’t lying!”

 Yamazaki had been stewing in these feelings ever since the day he walked her home. He found it hard to see her the way he once had. He’d thought maybe she was different but her confirmation and the new evidence blasted around the school proved she was the same as everyone else. The same as Mei, the same as all those other girls who threw themselves at Hara…maybe even worse.

 The evidence in question was a picture of (Y/N) sitting on the train with one tan legged crossed over the other. Her skirt was too short to pass school uniform regulations and her sweater baggily hanging off her shoulder. Her hair was a golden honey colour accented by big glossy lips and way more cleavage than most people would find acceptable.

 To top it off she was leaning her head against the shoulder of a much older man in a suit. Even with all assumptions aside it was pretty clear to all of them that this was a compensated date.

 “Okay so what if she wasn’t lying? I guess it all makes sense with what she said about (Y/N)’s ‘hobby’ but what does it matter?” Seto asked running his hand threw his hair. “She knew she was good looking so she spent some time with old perverts for money. I mean the only reason most girl here don’t do it is because they already have money.”

 “And she does too, clearly! So, what reason would she have to be doing this kinda thing?”

 “I don’t know, I’ve seen the way salary men go all out for a young girl’s attention. They devote a lot of time and effort to it. Can’t say it wouldn’t be nice for a milf to fawn over me like that.” Hara gave a shrug and chewed his gum more intensely.

 “You know most of those types of guys are married right?!”

 “Yeah so what? It’s a man’s job to be faithful to his wife, not the other woman’s.” Furuhashi offered.

 “Oh of course you would have that opinion.”

 “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

 “I’m just saying it’s pretty convenient that the ENGAGED guy in the group is trying to justify cheating.”

 “Just the way it’s convenient of you to suddenly side with your bitch of an ex after realizing your perfect little payback wasn’t what you expected. I know Mei still has you licking her boots but don’t take it out on our manager.”

 Yamazaki looked as if he would have something to say in return but he only grit his teeth and slumped into the bleachers.

 “Besides a girl as cute as (Y/N), no way she would have to have done more than flirt for money. I mean not that I care what she did or didn’t do. I’m just saying sometimes those paid dates are pretty vanilla. Men just want to be seen with cute girls on their arm.”

~~~~~

 “What? Are you making fun of me, Seto?” (Y/N) said looking totally heartbroken.

 The young man sputtered and choked on his words realizing exactly what the hell this sounded like. When (Y/N) hadn’t shown up to school yesterday and today he knew the only way he would get to ask what he’d been meaning to was to go to her place.

 He would have thought with the amount of times he rehearsed how he was gonna say it and with everything going on, that he would have caught his mistake.

 I have this thing that I need to be bring a date to. I was wondering if you could be my girlfriend for the day. I’ll even pay you!

 Stupid stupid stupid.

 “What I meant to say is I told my brother and the outfit. You owe me a favour but it’s a lot. So I can give something else. Ya know the Seirin and shit I can’t breathe.”

 (Y/N) rolled her eyes slightly but smiled and shook her head softly.

 “Come in.”

 “To your house! But you said you live alone.”

 “So, what? Furuhashi and Yamazaki have stayed over plenty of times.”

 Seto wanted to pry on that but didn’t want to come across as accusatory. Walking into the guest house he was greeted with a slightly messy but overall welcoming space. Watching her gesture to the couch, the tall male took a seat and tried to get his thoughts in order.

 “Do you want something? A water, soda, juice?...Espresso?”

 “Plain coffee would be nice.”

 “Sure. I’ll be right back.”

 Seto nodded and watched her disappear from his peripherals. Looking around the room he was surprised with how humble everything looked but thinking it over he shouldn’t have been too surprised. (Y/N) was a surprisingly humble girl for apparently living a lavish lifestyle.

 A chuckle almost left Seto’s lips as he noticed several anime figures on various shelves. That was more like what he was expecting. Curious, he got up to take a closer look at the stuff decorating her living room.

 In particular one shelf held several framed pictures. The largest made a smile come to his face. (Y/N) appeared to be no more than 3 or 4 years old. She was holding her fingers up into a peace sign, hugging a huge stuffed Pikachu tightly.

 The picture right next to it however made his heart feel heavy. (Y/N) was probably eight years old in this one. She was hugging a little boy about the same age who was lifting up a baby girl. Everyone was smiling brightly in the picture but none more than a frail woman sitting in a wheelchair behind them.

 They were clearly in a hospital and the woman was very clearly the reason they were there. Thinking about it, thought (Y/N) always referred to her parents as a unit making it sound like they were both around…her mother was hardly mentioned on her own. Everything was always about her dad and maybe this was why.

 “Being nosy?” The young girl said coming up behind him with a hot cup of coffee.

 “It’s not being nosy if the stuff is on display. You were a cute kid, these your brother and sister?” Seto asked hoping more for an explanation of the woman in the picture.

 “My cousins. So, did I give you enough time to calm down and tell me what you came here for?”

 “Actually yes. (Y/N) I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was making fun of your situation.”

 “But you do know about it?”

 “I’ve seen the picture yeah.”

 “I don’t know why I even let it get to me so bad. It’s a really old picture! Once I started dating my ex, I stopped going on paid dates.”

 “It’s really not my business. You’re still the same person to me.”

 (Y/N) smiled up at Seto’s genuine words.

 “Well now for what event am I playing your girlfriend?”

 “Ugh I really wish I hadn’t worded it like that. Look remember the whole Seirin interview shit, I told you I would cash in the favour later. Well I’m cashing in big time. My brother is debuting in this K-pop group and it’ really important to him that I go to his banquet. My mother was making this huge deal about me not being able to find a date so I lied and said you were my girlfriend.”

 .     .     .

 “Your brother’s in a K-pop group? You didn’t bring that up when you told me your parents were celebrities!”

 “Look I’ve lived my whole life with people talking about my brother forgive me for not wanting to give one more person a reason to gush.”

 “Fair enough. So this thing is black tie?”

 “Wait…you’re actually gonna do it?”

 “Yes.”

 “But I thought. I just figured this was kinda gonna be a big thing to ask for. Like I know you owe me a favour but I figured I was gonna still have to throw in some other incentive here.”

 “Huh why?”

 “Well because you’re just you and look at me. I don’t know…have you ever dated a guy like me?”

 (Y/N) seemed to be thinking it over in her mind for a bit.

 “No, my ex was kind of an airhead and I was never in a serious relationship before that. So, I guess you could say I never really dated a smart guy!”

 “That’s not what I meant.” In his own opinion (Y/N) was a solid eight on a regular day and could easily be a ten when she fixed herself up. But he at best was a five in the right lighting.

 “You’ve done a lot for me and the team. You tend to be the voice of reason. Plus you sang with me when I was trying to get comfortable at KiriDai. I think I can help you be comfortable at your family’s dinner party.”

 “Ughh are you sure? I mean I know I was the one who asked but I just…I feel kind selfish now asking you to do this when I know you got a lot going on right now.”

 “Ehh I see it as a good distraction. The guys heard of everything going on, I assume?”

 Seto’s mind instantly went to Yamazaki’s weird bitch fit but decided to not worry (Y/N) about it for the weekend.

 “Yeah, I mean we are wondering what’s going on but you don’t really have to explain anything to us.”

 “It’s not an exciting story or anything. I was both rebelling and needed the money. It wasn’t some costume in the picture…I was really like that back then.”

 “Still people shouldn’t judge you by your appearance.”

 “I was a pretty big bitch back in the day, too. You know that guy I beat the shit out of in the cafeteria? Yeah that used to happen on a daily basis. Sometimes to people who were talking about me but sometimes to people who even looked at me wrong. I drank, smoked, slept around, stole some boyfriends, all the kind of things you’d expect that cliché to do. I guess there’s no point hiding what a piece of shit person I used to be.”

 “Well in my opinion…good people do bad things.”

 (Y/N) cocked her head to the side questioningly before smiling widely.

 “So where is your brother’s party going to be at?”

 “Ummm Okinawa.”

 “OKINAWA! How long do I have to prepare?”

 “It’s tomorrow.”

 “…I change my mind you do owe me.”

 “That’s fair what do you want?”

 “I was just about to watch this anime. Watch it with me?”

 “You want me to watch anime with you?” Seto asked raising a brow. He’d seen like two episodes of pokemon when he was younger. “I guess. What’s it about?”

 “Don’t worry about it! Just umm are you a sentimental person?”

 “Not particularly.”

 “Oh good, then you can console me when I’m crying my eyes out.”

~~~~~

 “Heh not sentimental my ass. Your eyes are still looking puffy from yesterday.” (Y/N) snorted as she fixed her hair in her compact mirror.

 “They are puffy because I was asleep on the flight! And I already have ugly narrow eyes to begin with.”

 “You were crying harder than I was!”

 “You’d seen it before! She disappeared and I wasn’t prepared for it!”

 “Sure sure. Also, I didn’t miss that self-deprecation. I like your eye shape, it’s alluring.”

 “What?! Shut up.”

 “Seriously, it’s like constant bedroom eyes. Society is just too on the hype train for big wide bright eyes when narrow sleepy eyes can look just as good.”

 “Can you really talk about society pressure when you work for New Face? Those models are caked in makeup. The company name literally implies you need a different face.”

 “Why do you think I only ever use Me But Better? You can enhance what you got instead of thinking you NEED to change everything you already have. I work for New Face because I have to, not because I agree with their ideals.”

 “I guess. Oh shit here we are.” Set ran a hand through his hair for what was probably the hundredth time. “Fuck I’m nervous. Okay so you remember everything we talked about so that our stories match up?”

 “Yes yes. We met at basketball, not a lie. We’ve known each other for almost a year, not a lie. I gave you chocolates for Valentine’s Day, not a lie. You thought I was beautiful and asked me out.”

 “Not a lie.”

 “What?!”

 “I did ask you to be my date, here didn’t I?”

 “I guess but you didn’t have to say it like that!” (Y/N) stuttered out.

 Seto smiled. He was surprised and amazed that someone like (Y/N) who described her past the way she did could get so easily flustered. It just sort of confirmed what he already believed, that she was pure of heart…a good person who’d done bad things.

 “Aren’t you gonna open my door?” (Y/N) said knocking her scarf covered cast into the car handle.

 “Oh fuck you’re right. My dad would disown me if I wasn’t the perfect gentleman.”

 With that (Y/N) stepped out of the limo and took Seto’s arm. Instantly he was cursing himself for asking her to do this. It didn’t look right. He always came to these things alone and then to just show up with this gorgeous girl. It had “I flaunt my money to get dates” written all over it.

 “Don’t be so tense. Everything is going to be fine.” (Y/N) whispered giving him a reassuring smile.

 With a deep breath the two walked into the building. Instantly both felt overwhelmed. (Y/N) by the sheer number of celebrities and important people. Seto by his brother’s eyes instantly meeting his and perking up.

 “Was he waiting for me? Brace yourself.” Seto whispered just in time as his older brother came barreling through the crowd. His eyes were big and lit up like a child meeting his new puppy for the first time.

 “Little bro! Is this her?! Wow it is, isn’t it! She’s gorgeous! Hey how much of the family inheritance did you give her? Just kidding! So what’s your name!?”

 “Forgive my older brother he is going for the hyperactive quirky member of his group. The type that very closely verge on annoying. Joo-won this is (Y/N), my girlfriend.”

 “Annoying!? You’re so mean!”

 (Y/N) was shocked by the banter between the two males. First of all, Seto’s brother was one of the prettiest men she had ever seen. More masculine than Reo’s feminine beauty but softer than Aomine’s rugged handsome face. On another note she was surprised by how well the two brothers got along and how much they seemed to genuinely care about the other, despite the jabs.

 She had unfairly made a few judgements on Seto’s brother based on the few things she’s heard.

 “Mom and dad are gonna be so excited!”

 “About what, son? Oh my, Ken! I hadn’t realized you arrived already. You were supposed to text us the moment your plane landed. I trust the limo driver found you anyhow.”

 (Y/N) was utterly starstruck yet again. Seto’s dad was 100% dilf material, straight daddy born of your deepest fantasies. He had told her that his dad was a pretty famous Japanese actor back in the day but she didn’t realize she was gonna be spending her night watching every movie he’d ever been in. And when he locked eyes with her she was sure she would die.

 “Oh my goodness Joo-won, where did you find this beauty?”

 “You know mom said I wasn’t allowed to bring a date! She said it would make potential fans think I’m taken.”

 “Then perhaps she would like to be my date.”

 “Actually Seto-san, I am Kentaro’s date! It’s very nice to finally meet you.”

 “(Y/N), this is my father Kenjiro Seto. Dad this is my girlfriend.”

 Mr. Seto appeared taken aback for a moment and looked at his youngest son, who timidly wrapped an arm around (Y/N)’s waist and pulled her to him.

 “When my wife and son told me our little one had a girlfriend, I didn’t expect someone so radiant!”

 “Did you expect me to show up with a tanuki in a dress?” Kentaro mumbled angrily.

 “Don’t take it personal son. You just never showed much interest in dating and the dates we sent you on never went well. We were beginning to entertain the thought that perhaps ladies weren’t your type. But that would have only been much harder. Men who enjoy the company of other men are held to a higher standard.”

 (Y/N) found herself frowning at that underhanded remark. She made a point to lean her head on her teammate’s shoulder and lace her fingers through his.

 “You seem so picky, Ken-chan. I suppose I’m lucky, I caught your attention at all.”

 Joo-won and his father looked at each other in disbelief. She sounded so genuine in her words and seemed so comfortable with him. As much as Joo-won wanted this to work for his brother and wished him all the happiness in the world he couldn’t help but worry this girl was after something other than his brother’s love. And he didn’t know if he could stand to see another woman tear him down.

 “My baby! There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Some people wanted to meet and speak with you.” (Y/N) felt her hand suddenly gripped harder. “Kentaro, I didn’t know you had arrived yet. So glad you made it here without a fuss. Though we would have appreciated you accompanying us to Korea to see your brother’s official debut with his group.”

 “I don’t need to be there for the whole group. I’m here because this is for him. Besides I had school yesterday.”

 “Ever the studious one. Good it will serve you well to be able to start a company or some other thing to support yourself. Oh and who is this?”

 “Mother this is my girlfriend, (Y/N). (Y/N) I’d like you to meet my mother, Young-Mi Seto.”

 Consider (Y/N) intimidated. How the hell would anyone be okay being surrounded by a family of Greek gods. They were so attractive she was beginning to feel just a tad insecure. Honestly Kentaro might have had a better fit asking Reo to be his date!

 “I’m very thankful to have the chance to meet the whole family. I promise I am being very good to Kentaro, as he has been with me.”

 “I can see that. What a beautiful dress! It’s Zuhair Murad, isn’t it?”

 “Yes, it is actually! Thank you!”

 “You must have very expensive tastes.” The woman said with a not so subtle up and down glance at her son.

 “Not at all. This was actually thrifted.”

 “Humble…cute. Come along Joo-won, Kenjiro, we have an interview to give!”

 (Y/N) watched as the three walked off. Turning to her date she could see his jaw was clenched. If his parents were making these sorts of comments in front of his significant other…she couldn’t imagine what the rest of his life had been like.

 With their wide eyes and ivory porcelain skin, it was clear her teammate was the odd man out in the family. Finally, all of his self-deprecation made sense.

 Reaching a hand up she placed it gently on his cheek caressing his gorgeously sculpted cheek bone. She felt him tense again and thought he would jerk away from her. To her surprise he turned into her touch and placed his hand over her own.

 As if it came naturally to him, he brought his lips to her hand and kissed her palm. (Y/N) felt a light rose colour dust her cheeks and smiled.

 From a distance the boy’s father watched the interaction before turning away.

~~~~~

 “What do you mean, it was a simple error!?” Kentaro rolled his eyes as his mother went off on the catering staff. “I specifically said nothing citrus. My baby is allergic to citrus and it was a simple task. Keep oranges, grapefruits and LEMONS off the menu!”

 “Bmom ithhs okay. Really I can breathhe juthht fine!” Joo-won said around his swelling tongue.

 (Y/N) scurried in with a cup of ice cubes and handed them to the grateful male who proceeded to pop several in his mouth.

 “No, it’s not fine! You are fired!” The woman yelled pointing an accusatory finger at the waitstaff. “And you…oh my poor baby. We can’t have you perform for you guests like this. However, they are expecting some form of entertainment. Perhaps I can go up and sing one of my old-”

 “Assthhk Ken! He can sthing sthhho good bmom!” Joo-won said pointing at his brother excitedly.

 “Dude, what the hell are you talking about.” Kentaro said giving his brother a clear ‘stfu’ look.

 “Yeah I alwayths hear you sthing in your room when you think no one can hear! And I thaw that video of you sthinging with your girlfriend! Ohhhhh you guyths can do a duet! It would be thuper cute and an easthy way to introduth her to everyone!”

 “Ohh Joo-won I don’t think they want t-”

 “That’s an amazing idea!” Seto’s father spoke up with a grin. “Come on Young-Mi, don’t you think we should take some time to show off our youngest boy?”

 “No, I’m perfectly content being the disappointment child.” Kentaro said slinging his arms around (Y/N)’s shoulders and resting his chin on her head.

 His father frowned at that comment while his mother only continued to fume as she thought of alternative ideas. Finally the woman threw her hands up in defeat.

 “You and your girlfriend have to be ready in 20 minutes!” The woman said firmly before walking out the door, back into the party.

 “No! We don’t want to do it!” Kentaro turned to his brother and father raging. “What the hell guys!? You didn’t even ask me! Let alone my girlfriend! What if she has stage fright!?”

 “You will do just fine son. Go on think of a song and practice while you still got time.” The older male quickly sauntered after his wife.

 Joo-won simply gave his brother a smile and small shrug.

 “You don’t have to do this (Y/N). I’m so sorry I got you dragged into my family bullshit.”

 “Hey, I came in here with the ride or die mentality. So, what are we gonna sing!?”

 Kentaro was amazed that she was so willing to go along with the idea.

 “Shit I have no clue. A love song! People loved it last time, what’s a real tearjerker we can throw at them?”

 Both teammates looked at each other with wide eyes as the same idea came through their minds.

~~~~~

 Kentaro swallowed hard as he looked out at the crowd. Sitting on the stool with his guitar he knew this time around wasn’t in his head that all eyes were on him. Even (Y/N) gave him her full attention and she sat on the stool directly across from him.

 “Whenever you’re ready.” She whispered reassuringly. Her smile grew wider as the first notes of the song echoed in the room. And when his voice came out clear and perfect (Y/N) remembered just how amazed she was the first time she ever heard it.

 Kao o awashitara kenka shite bakari (Whenever we saw each other all we did was fight) Sore mo i omoide datta (Still those are wonderful memories too) Kimi ga oshietekureta da mou kowaku nai (You taught me so much; I’m not afraid anymore) Donna fujiyuu demo shiawase wa tsukameru dakara (No matter how difficult my life is, I can grasp happiness)

 The two locked eyes with each other before taking in a deep breath and singing in unison.

 Hitori demo yuku yo tatoe tsurakute mo (I’ll go on alone, even if it’s painful) Kimi to mita yume wa kanarazu motteku yo (I will always carry that dream I had with you)

(Y/N) swallowed thickly. She heard so much emotion in Kentaro’s voice. It felt as if they had sang this song to each other a million times. So of course, she could only hope to match that pure tone in her own solo.

Zutto asondereru sonna ki ga shiteta (I thought we could play forever) Ki ga shiteita dake wakatteru (But I know that’s just what I wanted to believe) Umaretekita koto mou koukai wa shinai (I don’t regret being born, anymore.) Matsuri no ato mitai samishii kedo sorosoro ikou (Like the end of a festival, its sad but we have to go)

 She felt her voice crack with emotion as that lyric hit hard. ‘I don’t regret being born, anymore.’ Scooting her chair closer to his she placed her hand on her friend’s knee. (Y/N) didn’t know if she would be able to finish the song without her voice cracking or just breaking down sobbing. The tears that trailed from her eyes betrayed her conviction to keep her composure.

  Megutte nagarete toki wa utsuroi da (Time changes as its webbed and flows) Mou nani ga atta ka omoidasenai kedo (I can’t remember clearly anymore but,) Me o tojitemireba dareka no waraigoe (If I try and close my eyes..I can hear someone’s laughter)

 Strong hands grabbed her face gently and his thumbs were placed tenderly over her quivering lips. (Y/N) stayed silent as Kentaro finished the song’s final lyric, surprising her as two lines of water cascaded down his face.

Nazeka sore ga ima ichiban no takaramono (Somehow that’s my most precious treasure)

 The room was deafeningly quiet for a second before a thunderous applause could be heard. Turning towards the crowd the two performers were shocked to see so many others with tears in their eyes as well.

 (Y/N) almost laughed at Joo-won looking absolutely in pieces with both hands pressed tightly over his mouth.

 “Think any of them know that song was from the anime we watched last night?” (Y/N) said turning to Kentaro, who was already staring at her.

 “You cried more than me this time.”

 “Yeah but you still cried.”

 “Because you made me sad.”

 “Why?”

 “Because you were singing like you’ve felt every word.”

 The two followed each other off the stage and were immediately bombarded by this man in a nice albeit ‘loud’ suit. He gave (Y/N) a once over before doing the same to Kentaro before nodding his head excitedly.

 “Yes yes you two would be perfect!”

 “I’m sorry sir, perfect for what?” (Y/N) asked taking the initiative.

 “I’m a talent manager! My company has been looking for a good duet! You guys are it! Duos have fallen out of style decades ago but we think they could make an amazing comeback and you two would fit the image we are going for.”

 “And what image would that be exactly?” Kentaro asked with a brow raised.

 “The song you sang, it’s about lovers reincarnating and remembering the time they spend with each other in past lives. That’s the shtick, lovers across decades! The couple has been reincarnated and fall for each other in every lifetime. The way you guys sing…its like you’ve been lovers for a millennium. Everything is almost perfect we would just need to do a few cosmetic touc-”

 “We aren’t interested.” Kentaro said pulling on (Y/N)’s hand to lead her away.

 “Come on now be reasonable! Just a double eyelid surgery, a little nose job and maybe some whitening treatments.”

 Now it was (Y/N)’s turn to look offended.

 “Excuse me! Who do you think-”

 “(Y/N), it’s okay he wasn’t referring to you.”

 “I kn-”

 “Oh yes that is just like my youngest!” The boisterous voice of the boy’s mother caught both their ears as she spoke to a group of her friends and colleagues.

 “We had no idea your young son was just as talented as his older brother! Why have you been hiding him, Young-Mi?!”

 “That boy has never wanted the star life! It’s just not his thing. All the glamour and self care just fell to the wayside for him. We tried to take him to have that unsightly blemish removed from his forehead when he was nine but he threw a fit! But that’s Kentaro for you, the voice of an angel but a face made for voice acting!” The woman laughed loudly along with her friends who followed in suit.

 Kentaro visibly flinched by those words and was about to steer (Y/N) in the opposite direction before she pulled from his grasp and stormed up to the group.

 “Why would you ever think that would be okay to say about your own son?” The girl asked calmly but with a clear tone of disgust in her voice.

 The group she walked up to blinked owlishly and waited for the older woman’s retort. The Korean woman didn’t miss a beat as she smiled largely.

 “You found a good one, Ken! Look at her jumping to your defense but we joke like this all the time, right sweetie.”

 “Yeah.” Kentaro placed his hands on the girl’s shoulders and whispered into her ear. “Drop it, let’s go.”

 “But you are clearly bothered by it! A mother shouldn’t treat her child that way.”

 “Ohh a bit of parenting advice from a little girl I’m sure has no children of her own.” Young-Mi laughed into her palm. “You know you don’t exactly make a good first impression right honey?”

 “I was about to say the same.” (Y/N) spat back which seemed to take the woman a second to recover from. Clearly she wasn’t used to being talked back to.

 The shutter of a camera went off, but the two women didn’t back down from their staring contest.

 “You really don’t know how this works do you? I’ve seen girls like you come and go. Girls who want what they can get from my son. They agree to these dates in hopes they get a taste of the finer thing, get spoiled with gifts and eventually marry into riches. But when the money belongs to the parents, that’s usually who you should try to impress.”

 “I’m with Kentaro because I want to be! You’ll find I have plenty of my own money I don’t need yours or your husband’s.”

 “Then what is it? Huh you want to merge businesses?”

 “I don’t need any ulterior motive to want to be with him! If you must know I’m the heiress to New Face, a company that has held no interest in taking on spokespeople over the age of 40.”

 Young-Mi was clearly fuming at the young girl before her mouth dropped open into a small o-shape that merged into a laugh.

 “You’re the one New Face has been hiding in shame for the past few years. Yes, most of us have heard about the ILLIGITEMATE makeup heiress that should be lucky anyone who would have inherited New Face is either infertile, disowned, or dead.”

 Very audible gasps were heard from the room and Kentaro felt an almost sob rip through (Y/N)’s body as he began to pull her back. To his surprise that sob turned into laughter.

 “You really are that much of a stereotype? The beautiful face with nothing underneath, tearing down anyone anyway you know how? Trying to live her life through her children! Your career ended before you were ready and pushing your kids is the only way people don’t forget your name! Maybe you would have been more memorable if you strived to be more than a pretty face! Clearly you weren’t that good of an actress, otherwise you’d figure you could ACT like you give a shit about your son-”

 (Y/N)’s head snapped to the side as the older woman put all her force into her palm and struck her across the face.

 “Mother! You went way too far!” Kentaro yelled out at the woman, pulling (Y/N) behind him to protect her.

 “Young-Mi, that’s enough! You’ve had too much to drink!” Seto’s father said finally making his way into the crowd to pull his wife away. “Ken, (Y/N), I apologize greatly.”

 “Don’t apologize, Kenjiro! Who is she to speak to me like that!? Your son brings in this little brat and we’re supposed to treat her specially in hopes she won’t leave him?!”

 “…You don’t get it. You don’t even realize” (Y/N) mumbled, tears running down her red bruising cheek. “Your son, this one right here, he’s amazing and you don’t see that just because what? He doesn’t look like you or your perfect little family? Did you know he’s so smart, musically gifted, an amazing basketball player?”

 (Y/N) clung onto her teammates hand tightly.

 “But he doesn’t see anything good…and it’s because of you. Do you know how hard it is to unlearn the negative things parents put in your head? And it’s not enough to tell yourself its not true…so I’ll tell Ken-chan every day that he’s one of the most amazing guys I ever met, inside and out. And I hope I can help undo what years of you has done to him.”

 “Let’s go.” Said male pulled on the girl’s wrist. “That’s enough, (Y/N).”

 She couldn’t tell if he was angry at her or not. o, she remained silent as her friend pulled her through a staring crowd and out the door. The only breeze blowing through the air was hot and wet, making the fabric of her dress stick to her skin. He continued to pull her along the sidewalk. She didn’t think he even knew where he was trying to go but it wasn’t the time to ask questions.

 (Y/N) expected Seto to scream at her, to tell her she was out of line. It dawned on her yet again that she was still meddling in her friend’s lives without asking. An internal debate in her mind was arguing that she was right in intervening and the other voice said she should have kept her mouth shut.

 It wasn’t like Hanamiya’s situation. That was so secretive, the problems between Makoto and his mother had to be dug up. Young-Mi had made it everyone’s business when she put her comments out there. Just because it was uncomfortable to say something didn’t mean she shouldn’t have said it. Someone should have a really long time ago.

 The girl gulped lightly as Seto’s feet came to a halt on a bridge overlooking the water. In the time it took to get here it had been decided that she didn’t regret speaking out, maybe just regretted how it came out.

 The tall male turned to her, his face completely red and (Y/N) knew she was in for a fit of screaming. Closing her eyes, she braced herself for his rightful anger instead she felt his long arms wrap around her.

 Her eyes snapped open as Seto held her tightly to his body.

 “Eighteen years of those comments, of those parties, of those people laughing at my expense and you are the only one who has ever spoke out for me.” Seto mumbled into the girl’s hair.

 Without a second thought she clung onto him just as tightly.

 “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you or made anything hard for you in the future. But it wasn’t right, I shouldn’t have had to be the first person to ever say anything. Ken-chan, it’s not true, all these bad things you think about yourself…none of it is true. What’s inside matters but to me you are really handsome!”

 (Y/N) was surprised yet again when Seto cupped her face between his hands and drew his face in closer to hers. Her breath caught in her throat, her lips parting slightly. But instead his forehead pressed against hers and he sighed softly.

 “Thank you…for everything.” Finally pulling away he gave her a genuine smile before his face morphed into a sheepish look. “So, not your fault but our flight back isn’t until tomorrow and we were supposed to stay in the same hotel as my family but I’m not sure that’s a great idea.”

 “That’s okay! I can buy us a hotel room for the night!”

 “You expect to find a hotel room last minute in Okinawa at this time of year?”

 “Sure, if you know where to look!”

~~~~~

 Seto could feel himself sitting stiffly as he drowned out the sounds of the shower running. It was purely for convenience sake that (Y/N) dragged him into a Love Hotel. When she’d made the suggestion, he insisted in calling around first to see if there weren’t any available rooms at a proper place.

 Of course, they hadn’t found anything and even this location had proven to be a bit of a problem. For starters there was only one room available, though he knew it would seem odd for the two of them to have gotten separate rooms at this kind of hotel. Secondly, they questioned if (Y/N) was underage, which was totally the right thing to do but 1. They didn’t need shit to fall through right now and 2. Nobody bothered asking his age.

 “Ken-chan, you okay?” (Y/N) said making the male practically jump out his skin.

 Turning towards her didn’t help much as she was drying her wet hair in nothing but a tank top and shorts. Her skin was glistening and when he looked closely, he noticed a droplet of water fall from her hair only to roll down her shoulder, over her collar bone and between her breasts. Swallowing all the saliva that had pooled in his mouth, Seto tore his eyes away and spoke.

 “It would seem that they don’t have any spare cots or mats anywhere in the hotel so I decided to take the carpet and you can have the be-”

 “No, that’s fine! Sleep with me!”

 Seto felt his face burn red and turned away from (Y/N) so she wouldn’t notice. Without intention he quickly turned on the defense.

 “That’s not really appropriate. Believe it or not I don’t make it a practice to come to places like this or other sleezy stuff like sleepin-” Seto’s words faded off as he heard how accusatory that sounded.

 Looking back at (Y/N) he saw her with her knees pulled up to her chest, staring down at her barefeet. He had been defending her behind her back for days only to go and passive aggressively slut-shame her to her face, calling her sleezy.

 “I’m…I’m not dirty or sleezy, you know.” (Y/N) pushed her hair behind her ear before giving him a small smile. “But I won’t push you to sleep anywhere or do anything you aren’t comfortable doing. Goodnight Seto.”

 Ouch back to last names.

 With that the girl bounced under the covers and turned to give him her back. Seto sighed, wanting to explain but also not wanting to expose himself. She would think he was 100% pathetic, especially someone so sexually liberated like she was.

 Pulling off his shirt, he grabbed a pillow and chucked it onto the ground ready to just call it a night.

 What am I a little bitch? He thought to himself before he could make his way onto the floor. This girl just stuck her neck and her company out on the line to tell his mother off. How the hell was he gonna let her defend him and then not even try to apologize for hurting her feelings?

 “Hey (Y/N)? I’m really sorry I said that. I don’t think that people who get around or come to these plays are bad people or anything. I promise it wasn’t meant to be a jab at you.”

 The girl didn’t even twitch to acknowledge him. Turning his body completely towards her, he frowned.

 “I know that sounds like bullshit but please just look at me so I can explain. I can’t leave you feeling this way about me after all you did for me today.”

 Still nothing and now Seto was beginning to get mad. Crawling closer to her. he tried once more.

 “I’m apologizing here. You don’t have to accept it but at least acknowledge I’m here. There’s no way you’re asleep already! (Y/N)!”

 With that Seto flipped her onto her back and found himself hovering above her, his hands on either side of her surprised face. The earbuds in her ears were apparent now, as her phone laid discarded beside her with the YouTube video still playing.

 Neither said anything and Seto’s body was suddenly frozen, only his eyes flickering all over. Taking in the way (Y/N)’s hair rested into the pillow, the way one strap of her tank top was falling from her shoulder. He could see her chest rising and falling quickly and suddenly grew very aware that he was in nothing but basketball shorts. However, instead of moving like a normal person, Seto remained awkward and stiff like a board.

 …And speaking of stiff.

 Seeing (Y/N)’s face suddenly burn red and seeing her eyes widen snapped him back to reality. Flipping off her of, Seto planted his face into the bed and slammed a pillow over the top of his head. She totally felt that, and nothing even happened! What was he? Thirteen?!

 A gentle touch on his back only made Seto sink deeper into the bed and really just pray the earth would swallow him whole.

 “Hey, it’s okay it happens. I, umm why were you on top of me though?”

 “I was trying to get your attention to say sorry for being insensitive. I don’t actually think bad of people who have a lot of experience that was just…. insecurities coming out.”

 “…I understand. Trust me, I’m the queen of saying the wrong shit at the wrong time to the wrong people! I’m glad that you don’t think that way of me though. It was confusing me why you would say that when you were so understanding when you came to my house.”

 “Yeah I’m just really stupid and can only succeed in embarrassing myself in front of the only girl I have been around this long.”

 (Y/N) remained silent and Seto only now noticed that her hands had been kneading at his back muscles. A soft groan escaped his lips when she hit a certain spot.

 “The tension there, tells me your nervous. Do I make you nervous?”

 “Ugh it’s not because of you, I’m just never really around girls and they just kind of make me nervous.”

 “Hmm…you don’t have to answer this but well you know about my sex life. Ken-chan, have you ever been with a girl?”

 Seto felt like a computer that got the blue screen of death. His mind was making an atrocious screeching sound and he was 99% sure that was his internal screams. (Y/N) really just did that, she really just asked him if he was a virgin.

 The audacity! The lack of tact! How uncouth! How dare sh-

 “No.”

 And of course the rest of that just ran out his mouth like a coursing river. Damn her for being really easy to talk to.

 “Ahh okay! That’s why you were nervous sharing a bed with me! Don’t worry I won’t try anything! I just want you to be comfortable.”

 “Don’t start treating me like a girl just because you know I’m a virgin!”

 “Virginity isn’t a gendered thing! I’m not less of a woman because I’ve lost mine and you aren’t less of a man because you haven’t lost yours! Mine wasn’t a big deal to me.”

 “Mine isn’t to me either. I’m not waiting for marriage or for a special someone or shit like that…it just never really happened. I usually just have a single date with a girl and it never gets past that point.”

 “That’s fine! Things happen for people in their own time.”

 “Yeah I know! Joo-won has been telling me that shit for years! I don’t care about having not done it just not having the opportunity to have done it? That doesn’t make sense, I guess I just want girls to find me attractive enough to want t-”

 Seto’s eyes grew wide as (Y/N)’s hands grabbed his face with a level of dominance and pressed her lips onto his. If he thought his heart was racing before, he was about to go into cardiac arrest now.

 Seemingly as soon as he realized he could kiss back the girl pulled away.

 “Why did you-” He began.

 “I ummm caught in the moment. And on the bridge. I thought you wanted me to… Do you want me to stop?”

 “No!”

~~~~~

 “Kentaro, you finally made it home.”

 Seto cursed to himself, having been caught coming back into the house. Turning to look at his father with a clear ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ expression didn’t save him from his dad beckoning him closer.

 “Where’s mom?”

 “She took Joo-won to get his hair done. And before they get back, my son I really need to talk to you.”

 “Look I already know that you’re gonna say I shouldn’t have brought (Y/N) around and that it embarrassed the family and we were rude-”

 “No no, this has nothing to do with my future daughter-in-law. She’s quite the firecracker and I simply adore her! She has more of a backbone than you do.”

 “What?!”

 “Look, it was about time someone put Young-Mi in her place. She needed to be brought down a few pegs. In that same vein…quite a few news articles have come out criticizing your mother, in fact she received a call from the CEO of Me But Better this morning. Some representatives had been talking with her about having her endorse their products and perhaps do a collaboration. As you can imagine, a brand that sells self-love didn’t want to work with a woman who openly mocks her son.”

 “Wow I didn’t know mom would lose work because of it. If (Y/N) really is the heiress to New Face I’m sure whoever she is inheriting was furious with how mom spoke to her.”

 “I believe you are right. It wouldn’t surprise me if some calls were made to convince this new company to cut the deal. However, don’t feel too bad for your mother. She is riding off Joo-won’s coattails happily for the time being.”

 “Well good for her, she deserved to have at least one son she didn’t hate.”

 “Ken, your mother doesn’t hate you. She hates herself and you remind her of that every day.”

 “What?”

 “You look like her and she can’t stand it.”

 “Dad, I look nothing like mom or you for that matter.”

 “Well now you did get my sculpted cheek bones and jawline! No matter, Kentaro what I show you here it goes to the grave got it?” Kentaro tilted his head in confusion as his father produced an old student id and handed it to him.

 Looking at the image the girl looked relatively pissed off. Her narrow eyes, tanned skin and wide face read very clearly as a girl who was conventionally below average on an attractive scale.

 But just above her right eyebrow, not as centered as his own, a large dark mole caused the male to quickly look at the name on the ID.

 “This is mom!?”

 “Yes, but promise you’ll never bring it up! She doesn’t know I found this in a box of her old stuff!”

 “She looks so plain! She’s like a four!”

 “Yeah I know! Now you should be lucky you got some of my good qualities to balance you out!”

 “So, she never told you that this was what she really looked like?”

 “No, she got all her surgery before she began her career as an entertainer and definitely before she traveled to Japan. You and this ID are the only proof that she was once the girl in the picture.”

 Seto stared at the piece of plastic then looked back up at his dad. He had seen pictures of his dad at all points in his life. The man was naturally a ten. He couldn’t help but wonder…

 “Dad if she looked like this when you first met her wo-”

 “Nope. I know what you’re going to ask me, and my answer is no. If your mother had come up to me like this, I wouldn’t have dated her.”

 “Wow dad that’s actually pretty douchy.”

 “I wouldn’t have been rude to her but…once I got to know her, I wouldn’t have tried pursuing her. She wasn’t an ugly duckling with a heart of gold; there was no seeing past her appearance into an amazing personality because she doesn’t have one. I grew to love her the longer I was married to her but in the beginning, it was all physical attraction. You are totally different in that aspect. Don’t think you’ll lose (Y/N) because of your looks, because you’re actually a good guy inside.”

 “Yeah well…I’m glad I get everything a little more now.”

 “Son, I am so sorry that we haven’t been the best parents. But look at you, even without us, you’ve accomplished so much. A star athlete, straight A genius with a beautiful girlfriend.”

 “Dad…since we’re being honest here. (Y/N) isn’t my girlfriend, she’s the team manager. I wanted her to pretend to be my girlfriend so I could prove to mom that I didn’t need to pay or threaten anyone for a date. She’s just a really good friend who did a lot for me this weekend.” Seto coughed into his hand, trying to stifle down a blush as his mind drifted to last night’s events. “A whole lot.”

 His dad didn’t miss any of the telling signs in his son’s explanation. He also remembered everything from the party. There was no denying it…his son was in love. But the girl…the girl seemed to be the type that needed to be told that outright to pursue. And that’s where he knew his poor son would finally sink or swim.

 “Well for the first time in your life, let me be a good father and give some advice. Get on it…now. A girl like that doesn’t stay on the market long, no matter how much money or how good looking you are.”

 “I know, my whole team is after her.”

 “Even the playboy with the hair?” His dad said flaring his fingers out over his eyes.

 “Yeah.”

 “Yikes. Well make your confession quicker and better than theirs! And you know, regardless of who she ends up with…keep her around. She’s a good girl and I can tell she’s the type of friend you’ve been needing for a long time.”

[funkymbtifiction]

White Collar: Neal Caffrey [ENTP]

UNOFFICIAL TYPING BY: lex-entj 

Dominant Extroverted Intuition (Ne): Neal is all about possibilities, thinking outside the box. We see this right away in the beginning, not only does he break out of prison, but when he’s caught, he manages to tweak it to his situation and all by glancing at a fibre on Burke’s shoulder, knowing Burke has no idea of what it is. He always manages to find his way in or out of situations. He has his head up in the clouds. Big ideas. Loves novelty. He is easily bored by routine, grunt work. Doesn’t participate in ‘boring cases’. He hates restrictions and will break rules, he even enjoys getting away with it (the ankle monitor, skipping the paperwork). Most of the time, Neal is so excited by the prospect of an idea that he jumps right in, often without a plan or a full grasp of the situation and does need Burke’s help. He doesn’t revel in nostalgia, rather looks forward to an interesting case.

Auxiliary introverted Thinking (Ti): He has a good understanding of how systems work. He likes to do his own work, trusting his own internal logic. He sometimes uses this function to justify his problematic behaviours. He takes a lot of shortcuts: he tries to find leverage to solve a problem easily; he avoids using conventional ways most of the time, this makes him 'unique’ because his solutions usually are. He doesn’t like schedules, rules, preferring to be flexible, doing things on his own time.

Tertiary Extroverted Feeling (Fe): He is incredibly warm, outwardly affectionate. He could sell a cat to a mouse, if he wanted to. Jones says that if you need a drink, he’ll pour you one, always aware of the mood of the room, of the person. Being a conman requires acting prowess, and he delivers. People tend to instantly like him, especially women. June let him move in within minutes of speaking to him. Even Burke, initially, grudgingly enjoys his company even though he grates on his morality. Neal enjoys the attention, the praise, the flattery (even when he’s aware of the fact). But he can be emotional, prioritising those he loves over his own well being - he broke out for Kate, and later he does everything he can to get her back, at the cost of his agreement. He is so caught up with having met his father, that he refuses to see who he really is. Neal is a 'good guy’, he doesn’t like violence, and can falter when a situation requires him to take drastic measures, unwilling to hurt people in pursuit of his quest (this is what Keller is very good at, and why he gets on Neal’s nerves). Neal generally isn’t a trusting man, often putting those he loves (Mozzie, Kate) to test (giving them false locations), to see how loyal they are, but once he does care for them, there’s no length he won’t go to in order to protect them (like admitting to stealing the U-boat treasure in order to save Elizabeth).

Inferior Introverted Sensing (Si): Neal is not afraid to work hard when needed, often sitting down for hours at end to get a job done. He has a brilliant memory (often using his Ne to come up with creative ways to remember data). He is good with details - his work is flawless, he never misses a thing. He does derive ideas from cons he has pulled before. He has a very hard time letting go of Kate. He has idealised her into this picture of innocence, elevating her from her rather not so innocent tendencies. (We never truly get to know her.) Even his affection for Rebecca comes from the sum of qualities of the women he has loved. He is unable to get past the idea of Rebecca that he sees, despite realising what she really is. Even with the treasure, Neal couldn’t leave the ones he loved, the life he had made (Fe+Si). For all his intelligence and adaptibility, Neal has no idea of who he truly is. He refuses to make his own art because it requires one to know himself. He has a very difficult time getting away from his past life, which is only compensated by the thrill of catching 'bad guys’ and solving new, exciting cases.

Note:

> @rusculle suggested that Neal might be looping, and sometimes, yes. He tends to override all forms of logic when it comes to love: he decided break out with just a few weeks left on his sentence, he never even cared to look any further where his father or Rebecca were concerned, choosing his Ne to pick on a possibility his Fe could live with. He seems to justify living uninhibited and breaking rules as being 'free’, never analysing the implications (overriding Ti): what would he do with (how would he sell it) the treasures of the U-boat, what would happen if he couldn’t find Kate when he broke out, was Kate truly innocent after all (he never questions, but twists facts into pleasing his Fe), he was caught when he was meeting Kate - he dismissed the idea that it could’ve been a trap despite Mozzie stressing on the fact. He can manipulate people for his own gains, never stopping to think about the consequences or truly understand the situation (Rebecca was conning him all this time; he didn’t bother analysing her eagerness or motives). Neal uses his intelligence and fine tastes to appear socially superior, often looking down on Burke’s lack of taste for the finer things (wine, art, clothes, lifestyle). It might seem like his Fe should be higher, but his use of it is so childish, and his Ne overrides everything else (plans are just a kind of scaffolding for him to build around, he leaves many things to chance).

> I’ve seen him typed ESTP or ENFP. While I can agree with Se, perhaps - opportunistic, sensory oriented, great eye for detail, he shows no Ni. He’s way too comfortable just going with the flow, improvising along the way (Ne). I cannot not see Ne. I could also agree for Te - he’s not much concerned with the why behind the technology (like Mozzie is, his theories bore Neal) and more into what he can do with it, and delegates well, generally, organising cons and such. But I don’t see Fi in him, he is too out there, outwardly affectionate. His Fe is very prominent. He has that way of roping you in that a Fi user could never muster.

> Neal is difficult to type. As a conman, he is required to wear many masks. I like to think that at times he’s fooling himself, convincing himself about a fact he might not truly believe. He’s also not one to display his true self, often preferring to keep an air of mystery about him. I won’t be surprised if people have other ideas in mind regarding his type.

[voidfishaquarium]

Lup claims she can remember their parents, but Taako is convinced she’s making it up.

She makes this claim the first time when they are barely old enough to read, and still living with their grandparents. Lup takes to the reading a little quicker than Taako does, and makes a habit of reading aloud to him from the books they find in their grandfather’s study. One evening she finds one with a name scrawled on the inside cover, stares at it for too long. She’s cross-legged on the rug, the open book taking up the whole of her small lap.

“That’s mom’s name,” she says, pointing at it.

Taako, lying on his back by her feet as he waits for a story, sits up and looks at the name with mild interest.

“Huh. Yeah,” he says, and lays back down.

“She had pretty eyes,” Lup continues, still staring. “And long hair.”

“How’d you know that?” Taako asks. He’s curious now, because it’s rare for any of the grown-ups in the family to talk about Lup and Taako’s parents.

“I just remember it,” Lup says.

Taako frowns, skeptical. “No you don’t. We were too little.”

“Yes I do,” she replies, and gets back to reading.

The arrangement with their grandparents does not last long. After some shuffling around to various homes, they end up with an aunt and uncle and two older cousins. Lup is excited about sharing the house with other kids, for a day or two, until it becomes apparent that the cousins do not feel the same way. The older one, Kaba, complains constantly that the twins are too loud, that they take up too much space; the younger one, Meera, is fond of snatching books out of Lup’s hands whenever she’s reading. Taako starts strategically stealing things from both of them - pens, buttons, shoelaces, single socks - and hiding them under the floorboards.

After a couple of years, they are handed off to a great-uncle with a farm; they’re a bit older now, just big enough to help out with the chores. Neither of them are particularly pleased to discover that this is the main reason they’re here, but it’s a roof, and at least some of the animals are charming. Taako particularly likes the horses.

“Dad liked horses, too,” Lup says, nonchalant, leaning against the barn door and watching as he brushes a white mare. He looks up and frowns - it’s been a while since the last time she dropped a random parent fact.

“That another memory?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“You sure you didn’t dream it?”

Lup snorts. “I didn’t dream it, dingus. I remember.”

Taako doesn’t argue, but he also doesn’t make up his mind about whether he believes her or not. She’s only a minute older than he is - whatever she remembers, he should remember, too. He wonders if there’s something wrong with him, or if she’s somehow cheating.

The next year, after a good crop allows their great-uncle the money to hire older, sturdier hands to help out with chores, they spend a few months shuffling between relatives again. An older cousin with a closet full of shiny dresses that they run their hands over, giggling, when she isn’t looking. A distant uncle who works as a traveling salesman and constantly forgets to feed them, but they can fend for themselves well enough. Taako likes the traveling, seeing different towns, and he likes the way the uncle talks, casually confident.

“The secret to sales,” he says one evening, half-drunk and jolly, touseling Taako’s hair, “is to remember you’re really selling yourself. It’s all about charm.” Taako is a bit disappointed, at first, when the man drops them off with his mother. A distant great-aunt, half-human, grey-haired, living alone in a cottage, seems like a downgrade. But Lup takes to Auntie immediately, and it’s hard not to love someone his sister loves.

Unlike her son, Auntie never forgets about food. She spends hours in the kitchen, filling the house with the smell of baking cookies or sizzling bacon. She notices Taako skulking in the doorway, watching, and waves him in to join her. He’s nervous, unused to the sensation of an adult beckoning him closer instead of shooing him away.

“Come on up,” she says, pulling over a stool for him to stand on so he can reach the counter. “You can help chop the vegetables.”

They stay with Auntie longer than they’ve stayed with anyone else, and it is a small heaven. It’s always warm, and there is always more than enough to eat. Auntie seems happy to have people around to feed, to teach, to talk to. The three of them together in the kitchen, chatting and laughing as they cook and bake and taste, these are sacred moments. Taako doesn’t trust the concept of home - his sister has always been home, it’s never been a place. But in these moments, it almost feels like it could be.

“When do you think we’ll move somewhere else?” he asks Lup one night, from the bottom bunk of their bed.

Her voice comes out of the darkness above him.

“I don’t know,” she says. “Maybe never?”

Taako hums softly and replies, in what he hopes is a casual voice: “That’d be cool.”

Auntie dies three years later, softly, in her sleep. Lup, taller now but still not quite a teen, finds her and can’t wake her, feels that she’s gone cold. Taako holds his sister for several hours while she cries; later, she helps him copy down all of Auntie’s recipes, before the adults arrive and start going through her things. The cleric who visits says there’s nothing anyone could have done. Auntie’s heart was shaped just slightly wrong, and she lived much longer with it than he would have expected. But at her funeral, Taako hears whispers that maybe “taking in those twins” was bad luck, and Lup reports that while hiding in the coat rack (where she stole absolutely everything out of cousin Kaba and Meera’s pockets) she overheard talk of orphanages.

“Little bro,” she says, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, “I think it’s about time to bounce.”

There are a lot of cold nights, at the start. In cities, they end up curled tightly together, huddled in doorways against the wind; on the road between towns, they collect firewood and Lup starts fires with stolen flint to keep warm. It always takes several tries, a lot of muttering and cursing, and she swears she’s going to find an easier way to do this eventually.

And this is when Taako starts asking her for more memories, for anything she knows about their parents. Their favorite foods, what they did for fun, what kinds of decorations they had hanging on their walls. It’s a distraction from the cold, and he’s not worried anymore about whether it’s real or not. He just wants to imagine it.

“What did they look like?” he asks one night, and she bites her lip.

“Tall,” she says.

“That’s obvious.”

“Mom had green eyes.”

“Like what kind of green?” he presses, while scooting closer against her. “Like grass, or limes, or…”

“Emeralds,” Lup replies, and Taako tries to think back to whether or not he’s ever seen an emerald before. He imagines eyes that sparkle, a face that won’t materialize fully in his mind’s eye, but he knows it’s smiling.

They stumble into a method of survival by accident. A travelling circus rolls into the town they’re in for the night, sets up camp, and the original plan is to steal a few bites from the food cart where they’re selling concessions. But they find the cart being run by a haggard old dwarf who has no idea that there’s a difference between macaroons and macarons - as evidenced by the angry customer in the window who’s allergic to coconuts - and Taako seizes an opportunity. He remembers the advice, “you’re really selling yourself,” and turns on the charm.

“My man, you are doing a fantastic job with the customer service,” he says, walking up to the window and trying on a confidence he doesn’t quite feel yet. “But it seems like this baking and cooking thing, it’s not quite your passion, am I right?”

The dwarf sighs and says he’s actually a juggler, a very good juggler, but their cook quit, and someone needs to feed the crowd, and he’s gotten stuck with it. Taako looks back at Lup over his shoulder and grins.

“You know, I really think you should be performing, my dude,” he says. “That crowd needs to see your skills, they are missing out on the best juggling spectacle of their lives. And my sister and I...we can definitely take care of the cooking.”

Everything unrolls from there. Taako’s sweet-talking finds the opportunities, his even sweeter recipes seal the deal, and Lup’s sharp savvy takes care of the details - makes sure they’re given fair compensation, helps procure all the necessary ingredients for the menus, scares off the people who want to take advantage of them. She helps with the cooking, too, but Taako is the one whose heart is in it. It’s not a luxurious life, constantly on the move, packing and unpacking, covered in the dust of the road, but it has its moments. Some of the acrobats let Taako try on their sequined garments, teach him a few simple tricks, and he falls in love; Lup sits enraptured watching the fire-dancers as they move between flames and whispers to Taako, “I’m gonna do that.”

The circus is seasonal, but they find other caravans: traders, mercenaries, explorers. Everyone needs to eat. Lup trades and borrows books in every town they pass through - books of recipes, books of spells - and resumes her old habit of reading them out loud to Taako as he preps meals and cleans dishes. They don’t have space to keep them, so they all have to be memorized. Lup learns how to start fires with the snap of her fingers, and Taako learns how to transmute parsley into saffron, apples into pomegranates. They save up money, slowly, because while Taako’s good with continuing the travelling cook lifestyle, Lup insists that eventually they should really go to school.

They get older, taller, smarter. They reach a point where people don’t call them kids anymore, even though they both know they still are - they just hide it well.

“Hey, Lulu?” Taako asks one night, interrupting her reading. She’s sitting cross-legged by the fire, book open in her lap, while he lies on a blanket by her feet, staring up at the stars.

“Yeah?”

“I was just thinking...I mean, we are kinda crushing it lately, natch, and the fritters I made yesterday were basically the best thing any of these lot have ever tasted, and all that, but like...it’s not exactly what people have in mind when they pop out a kid, probably...”

“What’re you trying to ask?” she presses, closing the book, and he sighs.

“Mom and dad,” he replies, propping himself up on one elbow. “You think they’d be okay with what we’re up to? I mean, I don’t know if you remember any...”

Lup bites her lip, doesn’t quite meet his eyes. He sits up fully now, knowing something’s wrong.

“What?” he asks.

“I just...I guess we’re older now, and I...Taako, I’m really sorry,” she says, fidgeting.

“Sorry for what?”

“I don’t...I don’t actually remember them,” she admits, finally. “I mean, I thought I did, when we were really young. But I realized I was just...I was imagining it. I had seen a picture of them, once, and I made it come to life in my mind, I think, and then you asked if I dreamed it and I just really wanted it to be real…and then later, I knew I was making it up, but you really liked it. It made you happy. It was real for you. And I was gonna tell you when you got older…”

Taako is silent for a moment, and then he laughs.

“I knew it,” he says. “I knew your memory wasn’t that much better than mine!”

Lup looks baffled and guilty, and Taako gets up, sits next to her and hugs her.

“I get it, you were lookin’ out,” he says. “That’s okay. I mean, I’m defo gonna rag you about it for like, several weeks at least, but it’s alright.”

“That’s fair,” she says, and smiles. “It’s better if we make it up, anyway, right? I mean, we can say they were legendary heroes or famous actors or anything we want, really. They could have been anything.”

“Listen, the famous and legendary ones are gonna be us,” he replies. “And I don’t need the made-up memories anymore, yeah? I got real ones.”

“Of what?”

“You, doofus,” he says, rolling his eyes and elbowing her in the ribs. “Not gonna forget that.”

“You better not,” she replies, and wraps an arm around him.

It’s warm, there by the fire, beneath the stars, the two of them together. They’re home.

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by Guest Contributor on The Prepper Journal.

Editors Note: Another guest post from Red J to The Prepper Journal. As we mull over our New Years resolutions, this article may give us a few ideas, may set on on a path to thinking of things that will directly effect us that we may not have considered to date. 

I have been a pastor for 20-plus years.  Since I discovered prepping, I have sometimes wondered how life will change for churches and pastors in a post grid-down scenario.  Even if you are not a believer, your community will be affected.  Here are my thoughts on how church life will change.  Most of these ideas will apply to all religious groups in general, not just Christians and churches.

Life in a grid-down situation will become extremely difficult.  Will faith endure when people face incredibly hard decisions?  The closest Biblical parallel is in the prophetic period in the later period of the Old Testament.  Some believers will feel like they’ve been abandoned or punished by God, and/or that God does not love them anymore.  All those unconditional promises by clergy speaking for God, will seem like broken promises.  Some may lose hope and forsake the faith.  There will be questions of sin, God’s punishment, and whether faithful believers can still claim a covenant relationship with God.  Can one still believe and hope in God when the material things have been stripped away?  Can one still hope in God when one sees so much death and devastation?  How can one trust in a God who allows so much pain and suffering?  Church leaders will be severely challenged by such questions and complaints.

The degree to which church leaders adapt to this new way of faith, will determine how effectively they can lead people of faith.  A study of Old Testament prophets could equip one to adapt faster to a similar period; investing in a few books or commentaries would prove helpful.  A study of how the Israelite’s survived the prophetic era, would equip believers in a similar period.  Studying how the Israelite’s survived the exile, could help those who will be uprooted by unforeseen hard times.  Clergy and Bible teachers would be wise to begin studying the prophets and the exile now, so they will be prepared to help believers when times become unimaginably difficult.

One practical change is that people will stop driving to church.  Imagine neighborhood churches in which people walk or bike to a church with others from your neighborhood.  Even if vehicles still function after an EMP, people will probably not use precious fuel to drive 20-40 minutes to church in another community.  That means that local churches will reflect the people in your geographic area.

  This may have good and bad consequences.  It will be positive in that seeing your neighbors in church will reinforce your relationships with your neighbors, which may lead to cooperative arrangements and bartering with neighbors you trust.  This will mean that you will get to know some neighbors that you rarely see now.  Perhaps this means letting your neighbor borrow your roster for a few weeks, in exchange for some eggs.  Or your neighbor plowing your large garden, in exchange for part of a hog.  Maybe this means the people on your block getting together for a winter social event in someone’s shed or barn.

  However, this may be negative if one has a bad experience with certain neighbors.  For example, let’s say you agree to rototill a garden for a neighbor, in exchange for his cutting firewood for you.  You did your rototilling, but your neighbor has not yet done his part.  Now winter has begun, and your wood supply is growing short.  How will you feel about seeing this neighbor in church?  Or imagine that things have been disappearing in your neighborhood.  No one knows who the thief is, but your neighbors suspect that it’s someone from your neighborhood.  When you go to church, you find yourself wondering if it could be someone in your congregation.

Losing electricity will affect churches whose current pastors commute more than a few miles.  If your pastor drives more than a few miles to your church, he will not likely continue serving your church in a grid-down scenario.  Consider if an elder or person in your neighborhood could step in as the pastor in an emergency.

There will be a large demand for pastoral services like leading worship, teaching Bible studies, pastoral care and counseling.  Remember how church attendance soared in the months after 9-11?  I foresee a similar response to a grid-down scenario.  However, when US dollars have little value, how will pastors and clergy be compensated?  This is no small issue for pastors who have a family to feed.  Back in the 1800s, it was common for pastors on the frontier to be paid in garden produce, eggs, a chicken, part of a hog that was butchered, or venison after a deer was shot. While that will help pastors, it will not likely be sufficient for provide for his family’s needs.  Thus, it would be wise for prepping pastors to learn a couple other skills to help provide for their family.

Look at utilities for church buildings and parsonages.  If your facility depends on natural gas or electricity, you may be wise to make contingency plans.  For example, will your church building and/or parsonage have a wood stove for winter heat?  Are there enough trees and forest in your area to provide wood for everyone who will be cutting it down?  Will an outhouse be built behind your building after a disaster?  Will you have a way to procure drinking water when electrical pumps fail?  These challenges will come up quickly after the grid goes down.  Thus it’s wise to have plans and materials in place now.  If you and your church do not have contingency plans in place, it will take you longer to respond to a radically different way of life after a major disaster.

When times get hard, there may be congregations that don’t meet in a traditional church building.  Some congregations may meet in a shed, barn, picnic shelter at a park, or backyard, especially if a church building is not available.  Another option is for two congregations to share a building.

Can a congregation play a role in forming mutual survival groups?  Some pastors know their members well.  If you’re thinking of asking a member to be part of your group, you may want to ask your pastor for his thoughts on that person.  He may recommend that person positively, or he may suggest being leery of that person.  This is like asking your pastor to be a personal reference.  There may be others in your church that you may want to ask to be a reference.  Discernment is crucial when asking others to become part of your group.  When asking someone for their personal thoughts on another person, assure that person that what s/he says will be kept confidential, and then keep it confidential.

Another issue will be, how will your congregation respond to those asking for food or other assistance?  Such requests will increase after a disaster, and likely increase dramatically.  Do you have a way to separate the legitimate requests from those who simply don’t want to work?  Here’s where a neighborhood church has an advantage.  Chances are, people on your church board will know who in your neighborhood has a genuine need and who has trouble getting out of bed on time or is wasting precious resources on alcoholic indulgences.

If you are a minister, you may want to get some training on caring for trauma survivors or counseling those with PTSD.  It wouldn’t cost much to buy a few books on caring for those with trauma or PTSD.  It may also be wise to be prepared to train members in helping those with trauma or PTSD because there will be many with those issues after a grid failure.  Imagine how your church could be a blessing in your community if you trained a dozen people to help trauma victims in their families or circles of friends.  Such care will help those individuals and families adjust to a different world.  One can also download YouTube videos on helping people with PTSD, as long as one takes precautions to protect your device from an EMP.

In a grid-down scenario, schools will cease functioning, leaving a void for the education of children.  I believe that churches could fill that need, if one is willing to make some plans.  Teachers today relay on the internet and a smartboard for daily lesson plans.  Imagine an elementary school using supplies and methods of a generation or two ago.  That means using chalkboards, textbooks, pencils, and paper tablets.  If your church prepares by buying such materials, it may not be hard to provide math, reading, writing, and U.S. history for kindergarten through 4th grade.  There would be an adjustment period for teachers, students, and parents.  Can a school function without buses, electricity, telephones, or internet access?  Yes, if educators are willing to rely on methods of previous generations.

If you wonder about the education of older children and teens, I believe that they will be needed to help supply water and food for their families, because meeting our basic needs will require much more work and time.  My parents grew up in the days when boys dropped out of school because they were needed on the family farm.  Middle school and high schools will be seen as unnecessary luxuries that only a few can afford.  However, I do see a future for apprentices to learn a skill.  If you’re a hunter, farmer, gardener, blacksmith, or seamstress who can train others in those skills, it could be a way to supplement your income.

Church leaders will be challenged to show that faith, hope, and love can endure unimagined difficulties.  When lifestyles change after a grid-down situation, there will be challenges and opportunities for pastors and churches that are prepared for a different world.  Will your church and your pastor be ready?

    The post How Church Life Will Change in a Post- Apocalyptic World appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

[cassandraofold]

Ok, so I like to ramble and @loyalty2waystreet asked me what I thought about s7e01 of Suits and I wrote her an essay. Like still in school doing English Lit and overanalysing everything type essay (in length at least - I’m not sure it’s particularly coherent). And I did say I’d post some sort of reaction and I’m also lazy so I’m going to copy paste with some edits (read: add even more words).

Warnings for too many words, spoilers for suits season 7, yet more words, and ranting in places. I’ve only watched the whole thing once and seen certain clips again so this is very much initial(ish) reactions, which I’m going to stick it under a cut.

I did like the episode in general. I loved the return to the Marvey rhythm of earlier seasons. There was banter and drunk!Mike and super fucking *fond* Harvey letting him get away with everything and looking at him like he hung the moon. Even hungover!Mike is brilliant. It had the right amount of mush/humour/fondness/harsh words said for the right reasons by someone who knows you too well. Mike said exactly what Harvey needed to hear and I need more than one post to talk about Harvey being so damn vulnerable around Mike. I could write a book about his vulnerable little face and Mike saying exactly the right thing to bring Harvey back to himself and if anyone tells me they are not in love I’ll fight them. So…the Marvey in the episode was perfect 🙌🏽 barring progression to an actual relationship which Korsh will not give us. They are literally the reason I still watch! 😊

Onto everything else:

I think I expected Dr. Agard and Harvey to happen last season because I feel like this show often takes female characters and makes them just love interests and I was impressed last season that they didn’t go there with Dr Agard. I mean Harvey makes a pass at everyone that’s standard and he didn’t with her, unless I missed it? I felt like she and Harvey had a good (if bit unethical dynamic) there was mutual respect of a sort, Harvey accepts her help and it was great that they didn’t go there? So, it’s disappointing to me that it’s the first thing they did this season.

It didn’t feel to me like there was a legitimate build up to it, beyond the ‘I used to tell you about my anxiety, weird sex dreams and mummy issues, so this is easier than finding someone I want to share that stuff with and telling them all this stuff again’ angle. And isn’t that a sign of how much more help Harvey needs still? The ‘I had fantasies about you’ bit from Dr. Agard was just a bit odd because they didn’t read as having sexual tension before? At all?! The one person Harvey is willing to open up to like this time and again with minimal prompting is Mike… (There’s a whole other post that needs to be written about how Harvey tells Mike EVERYTHING).

In terms of Donna - I mean I think it’s been made clear that she has feelings for Harvey and isn’t over what happened.

I think her being senior partner is great but maybe a teensy bit unrealistic…ok I’m not going to lie I really couldn’t suspend the disbelief for this: like I get that Harvey’s been topping up her salary but would a legal who lives a relatively fancy lifestyle (designer clothes etc and has a nice flat in New York that she presumably pays for in some way) have half a mil just lying around? How would compensation work? Currently partners are paid for billables and closing cases not a ‘salary’. Has she provided appropriate value for senior partnership? Yes and no?

She’s done her job well but she’s also shown questionable judgement in the past like getting arrested with the railway company thing for trying to keep up with everyone else and feel useful. She’s not going to be bringing in clients but she will help keep the ship running so in general it’s still fantastic.

And it’s great for a woman to be in a high powered role. My issue isn’t with a woman being senior partner (Jessica for example is fantastic, it’s with how believable it is that a legal secretary could demand to be made senior partner cos she’d worked there ten years and done her job well? I think I’d feel better about it if it wasn’t just a quick fix to the darvey power issue. In general it’s great to see her fighting for recognition, but in some ways with isn’t about Donna having a sense of self and recognition it’s about paving the way for darvey because Harvey ‘wouldn’t date his secretary right?’. And Donna has turned from a character with some substance to a parody character with catch phrases like that’s a shame.

Harvey’s reaction to the partnership thing was a little lacklustre and unsupportive and he was basically harassed into giving her the partnership. The way it feels like he’s going to be browbeaten into darvey endgame. He’d never have considered it on his own. And once he’d been harassed about it enough, his literally words about it were “You win!”. And that feels a little sad. Like he’s not even being a great friend here but they want this to be the aspirational/endgame/true love? No thanks.

It’s becoming more horrible. I feel sorry for invested darvey shippers. I feel sorry for Donna. I feel sad for how some bad retconning has ruined a great dynamic and great friendship and turned it into whatever this is now. Maybe in some ways that makes it more ‘real’ because people can be dicks and people do still fall for dicks etc but it’s not the basis for a great love story so it’ll suck when they try and fix it. Who wants to have to convince someone to love them? Harvey doesn’t seem to love her or be interested in her like that. Harvey has shown obvious interest in basically everyone else, even with out of the blue Dr. Agard chasing - he’s quite forward about what he wants. But he isn’t with Donna; It’s canon now that they slept together and Harvey was like if I knew you could still work for me I wouldn’t have slept with you because I don’t want a relationship but I do want a Secretary? 🤦🏽‍♀️. How bad *was* the sex? Harvey feels his commitment issues are resolved and he chooses to pursue a relationship with someone else.

For me, it comes back to fact that it’s not so much that Harvey couldn’t have dated her when she was his secretary. It’s that HE DOESN’T view her as his equal and that given the choice he didn’t want to. And he chooses time and again to fight more for everyone else. And he chooses time and again to sleep with and pursue romantic relationships with anyone else. The parallel with when he wanted Scottie to be senior partner and stay with him: He fought for her, he paid her buy in (even though it was a bit of a creepy thing to do) just to remove barriers to their relationship. So Donna getting more recognition is great but in general it’s all a bit sad.

And poor Louis…he always gets sadness. Rick Hoffman is brilliant though and always great to watch even if Louis fills me with lots of love/hate feelings. Because he is so emotional and irrational and such a hurt, damaged childlike man. I want Louis to be happy. I want them all to be happy but then they’d probably have to end the show…and let Mike and Harvey be together.

[brownthrussy]

1-85

Wade you got me fucked up smfh jk

1.) Are looks important in a relationship?:To some extent yes, since its kinda a attention grabbed. Eventually the personality is what becomes more important.

2.) Are relationships ever worth it?:Most are, as long as they’re healthy, but some are better off ending.

3.) Are you a virgin?:I hope my mom doesn’t see, but no. If my mom ever sees this then hell yeah I am lmao.

4.) Are you in a relationship?:Surprisingly yes

5.) Are you in love?:Considering my lack of love interests and mainly unhealthy relationships surrounding me, its hard to tell for myself but I believe I am yeah

6.) Are you single this year?:Jeez I hope not lol

7.) Can you commit to one person?:Yes.8.) Describe your crush:Hmm normal lenght hair, dark eyes, average height and thicc

9.) Describe your perfect mate:Sounds similar to 8 but I guess someone I can be comfortable and relate with.

10.) Do you believe in love at first sight?:No lmao im pretty sure thats a crush.

11.) Do you ever want to get married?:It’d be nice someday so sure lol

12.) Do you forgive betrayal?:Depends on the situation and how the person thats asking for forgiveness acts. If they learned their lesson and understand what they did wrong then I could forgive possibly but if not then no.

13.) Do you get jealous easy?:No lol its cause im bad at taking hints so I cant tell when someones hitting on me or el bae

14.) Do you have a crush on anyone?: Mi novio lol

15.) Do you have any piercings?:Nope lol

16.) Do you have any tattoos?:Nah lol

17.) Do you like kissing in public?:Nah lol i dont like being the center of attention

ERROR: 18 and 19 DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST??

.

20.) Do you shower everyday?:Si

21.) Do you think someone has feelings for you?: Well I hope my bf likes me lmao

22.) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?: hmm its possible so sure lol

23.) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?: Well i’ve been doing it so yeah lol

.

24.) Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?: i don’t think so but hey who knows what future me will do lol

25.) Do you want to be in a relationship this year?: i want to keep it so yes lol

26.) Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?: Si

27.) Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?: Not that I know of lol

28.) Have you ever been cheated on?: Officially no, but I had a few suspicions from my ex so it wouldn’t surprise me

29.) Have you ever cheated on someone?: No

30.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?: I’m ok really lol

31.) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?: lmfao yes sadly.

32.) Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: Yeah. With my “ex”, we weren’t officially in a relationship we were just dating.

33.) Have you ever had sex with a man?: no homo but yeah lol

34.) Have you ever had sex with a woman?: tbh i just don’t support that lifestyle… i have straight friends tho so es cool

35.) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?: si

36.) Have you ever liked one of your best friends?: Nah lol I love them in a platonic way

37.) Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? No lol

38.) Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lifes pretty wild

39.) Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?: yeah lmao its terrible 0/10 would not recommend

40.) Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? No im not an artistic person

41.) Have you had sex sex so far this year? Si but im staying a virgin til marriage

42.) How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Depends on the mood I guess???

43.) How long was your longest relationship? Lmao the current one so almost a year!

44.) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 lol

45.) How many people did you kiss in 2011? Lmfao 0 I was an awkward disaster back then. Now i’m slightly less but with a better fashion sense.

46.) How many times did you have sex last year? Idk I wasnt counting lol but life fucked me over alot so that counts too right?

47.) How old are you? Believe it or not, but i’m 21 lol

48.) If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Well rip my relationship then but it’d be something like “she ain’t ugly but she ain’t me”

49.) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Hmm I like the attentiveness and los jokes

50.) If your first true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents, would you accept? If its just forgiveness then probably yeah. Regardless im taking the presents tbh as compensation

51.) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes

52.) Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Nah they usually leave me first before I can say im done

53.) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No lol my business is my own

54.) Is there someone you will never forget? My ex and former close friends tbh

55.) Share a relationship story: well we went to olive garden cause I had never gone. So I was feeling like a rich white woman cause it looked fancy and the waited asked if he could toss the salad for us. My stupid ass thought he either meant in a sex term or literally flipping it. Guess what I mentioned out loud. So homeboy leaves and I realize I can never return here without realizing that i assumed that the waiter wanted a fucking threesome because I spend too much time looking at memes smh. Oh and he spilled drinks on the people next to us including this lady and her phone so guess who got tipped good cause id die if i were in his position smh. Moral of the story is this is why I shouldnt go out

56.) State 8 facts about your body: I have a fat stomach, yet skinny arms and legs lol, i got a birthmark by my right shoulder that looks like hawaii apparently, if one hand moves the other tends to attempt to do the same thing, i got my apendix removed, theres a scar from said surgery on it, I barely have body hair but it grows quick, i accidently stabbed myself with a led pencil. The led remains up to today

57.) Things you want to say to an ex: Someone is contradicting themselves lmao sorry for not being what you wanted but you could’ve treated me like a decent human being. But I guess im unreasonable for wanting trust and communication lol oh well

58.) What are five ways to win your heart?: food, pokemon, more video games, trying ya best and being direct with one another.

59.) What do you look like? (post a picture!): so like do i post a new selfie in a seperate post or???? Eh ill do that later

60.) What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 6-7 years 😥 lol

61.) What is the first thing you notice in someone? How they react to situations lol says alot as a first perspective

62.) What is the sexiest thing someone has done for/ to you? Bought me food 😍

63.) What is your definition of having sex? Well it involves a penis usually afjvhadaish

64.) What is your definition of cheating? Well besides doing it physically, by lying to your S/O about not seeing anyone else and talking to others with the intention of cheating

65.) What is your favorite foreplay routine? Loving jesus

66.) What is your favorite roleplay? Reading the bible together.

67.) What is your idea of the perfect date? It involves eating, going out doing anything since anything can be fun if you’re with the right person. If it gets everything that is stressful about life and makes it seem irrelevant at the moment then this is the moment

68.) What is your sexual orientation? No homo but men are ok. So un homosexual

69.) What turns you off? Well acting like a child or being rude and dismissive.

70.) What turns you on? Communication and trust can I get an amen

71.) What was your kinkiest wet dream? Ok so there I am in battle wearing regular armor but with channel boots and I destroy my enemies by walking on them since they wronged me. There’s also lesbians.

72.) What worlds do you like to hear during sex? Are you feeling it now, Mr.Krabs???

73.) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Anything really, its mainly the thought that matters

74.) What’s the most superficial characteristic that you look for? Hmm facial features and eyes lol

75.) What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Gave me the pink power ranger pop lol my girl

76.) What’s the sweetest thing you have ever done for someone? I gave a rare pop as a gift for christmas. It cost $50 lmfao

77.) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? As long as its legal and consensual then its alright

78.) What’s your dirtiest secret? Dont got any lol not any that come to mind atleast

79.) When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Idk middle school lol crush had the nerve to talk to someone that wasnt me smh. Im glad i grew up and learned

80.) When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I see my best friend and hes about to do some dumb shit

81.) Who are five people you find attractive? So is this like from tumblr or anywhere?. Hmm theres mi novio, my best friend and fuck it like 3 of my mutuals lmao i almost tagged em

82.) Who is the last person you hugged? My younger sister

83.) Who was your first kiss? An old friend lol we dont talk no more

84.) Why did your last relationship fail? I have no idea. My ex was like “i gotta be alone” then pulled the “we’re different” card. And I figured it was both until my friend showed me that he was on tinder with an updated bio and photos that he had sent to me initially. So I guess ill never know lol

85.) Would you ever date someone off of the internet? Yeah why not lol if the connection is there

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: A Helping Hand From Beyond (2/?)

Summary: “You know, sometimes the deceased stay with us, waiting until they’re sure we’ve moved on before they can move on themselves. Giving us a helping hand from beyond, as it were.”

When Gloria Rush and Rum Gold meet one cold October morning, they quickly come to the realisation that they share a common goal – to help those they left behind in life to move on and find happiness again. Using what little means available to them, the two lost souls team up to ensure their widows’ future, and find their own peace.

Rumbelle, Rushbelle, Gloria/Nick.

NB: This fic will contain a lot of discussion of death and what comes after.

===

[One] [AO3]

===

Two

Reminders

Gold receives important news by proxy, and reflects on what these latest developments mean for him and Belle.

Gold has always tried to keep his distance from Belle, working on the principle that if she could somehow sense his presence then it would keep her from moving on and finding happiness again. Tonight though, he needs to know what’s going on in her head so that he knows how he can help her. So when she leaves work in the evening and enters her little apartment off campus, he follows her home and slips quietly in behind her. He’s been very good about not coming in here, letting her have her space and her life as she wants it, trying not to taint this place he’s never been to in life. It was different when they were still in Maine and Belle was still living in their marital home. She was already surrounded by memories of him there, but here is a place she has created for herself, a unique melange of her life before, beside, and beyond him. The shadow of his death does not belong here.

There’s no denying that this is Belle’s apartment, crammed with books and the antique tea cups she collects. That was how they met, when she’d come into his shop in search of new pieces to add to her growing set of mismatched cups and saucers.

“Not a whole set?” he asks as she pays for a single cup from a set he cannot sell complete due to damage to some pieces. Belle laughs and shakes her head.

“Where would the fun in that be? A complete tea set is just a complete tea set. It’s beautiful, of course, but it’s boring. A tea set made of different things, now that’s more interesting. Every piece has its own story, and together they can make a novel.”

Gold just hovers in the doorway for a while, leaning on his cane. An advantage to death is the blessed absence of pain and fatigue. He doesn’t need the cane any more, but he’s so used to walking with it, to setting his weight in a certain way to compensate for his bad ankle, that he can’t part with it now. Besides, where would he put it? He’s quite happy to stand for as long as Belle needs to settle, instead of trying to find a place to sit and constantly having to dodge her. Here he can stay on the fringe, not venture too much into a place that is just hers, that he has had no influence on.

All the same, there are still reminders of her life with him here. They were married for six wonderful years, after all, and those years cannot be forgotten no matter how painful the end might have been. She’ll never be able to cut him out of her life completely, of course not, and despite having sold up all the property and everything that was tying her to Storybrooke, she still has links to it. Just no links that keep her cemented there and prevent her from moving on and spreading her wings. Bits and bobs from her old life, just the very best memories. On the shelf beside the door is a photo of them together at Neal and Emma’s wedding. They had only been married a year themselves, and Belle had felt very conscious of being asked to sit on top table in place of Neal’s mother. But Neal had insisted, and there they were.

Belle had always been more of a mother to Neal than Milah had, despite being only eight years older than him.

He wonders why he chose that picture to display in pride of place, what meaning she attaches to it. It was never displayed in their home in Storybrooke, just placed lovingly in an album full of snaps from the wedding.

Belle’s in the kitchen, cooking. That was one of the worst things about watching over her after he had gone. He had always done the cooking, and watching Belle struggle in those first few weeks had been heartbreaking, especially dealing with the desperate desire to just sweep in and have a plate of her favourite spaghetti gamberoni waiting for her when she got in from the library. It’s not that Belle can’t cook. She managed on her own for years before she met him. It’s that the kitchen had always been his domain, and she couldn’t bring herself to push his memory out of it and go back to her old culinary lifestyle after so long of letting him cook for her. The town had rallied round her, though. Granny had made sure she was fed until she could get back on her feet. Now she’s experimenting with flavours more, recreating some of the favourite dishes she discovered with him and improving them.

The phone rings just as she begins to eat, and she rolls her eyes in the way she always did and takes her stir fry over to the sofa, wedging the phone under her ear. Gold doesn’t want to listen in on a private conversation, but he can’t leave without opening the door. He makes no impression on the world, there will be no indent in a cushion he sits on, but he’s not incorporeal and can’t walk through walls. He’ll be in the apartment until Belle leaves it, another reason that he does not normally come inside.

“Hi Neal,” Belle says brightly. Gold’s glad that she kept up the connection with Neal. He had worried that his death would push them apart, but if anything, their grief has brought them closer together. “I’m doing ok,” she continues. “California’s not Maine, that’s for sure.” She gives a soft laugh, spreading her tea-stained skirt over her knees and spanning the brown blotch with her hand. “I bumped into my astrophysics professor today, literally. Made a right fool of myself. Don’t know why that stuck in my head.”

Gold gives a small quirk of a smile. He knows.

“Neal!” Belle says, scandalised, and Gold wishes he knew what his son said. “I’ve been in one lecture with the man and spilled coffee down his shirt.”

But she’s still thinking about him, evidently, and that’s a good sign. Gold smiles.

“Oh yes?” Belle sits up a little straighter, her brow furrowed, and then a wide grin breaks over her face and she waves her fork around with excitement. “Oh Neal, that’s brilliant! Congratulations! How is she?”

Gold quirks an eyebrow.

“Oh, that’s good to hear. Well, if I remember correctly then wheat toast and apple juice got her through it last time…”

Gold has to lean back against the door in shock, and he doesn’t take in the rest of Belle’s conversation. These words can only mean one thing; that Emma is pregnant again. He’s not entirely sure what to make of this news, where that leaves Belle in relation to everything that’s happening - or will hopefully soon be happening - here in California.

Still, Belle stays smiling for the rest of the evening. More than once, she touches the tea stain on her skirt and a ponderous expression comes over her face as she looks at it. It’s always her left hand that ghosts over the patch, and her rings catch the light, the diamonds in the engagement and eternity bands sparkling brilliantly. Belle’s not really one for jewellery, but she always wears her three rings without fail. Gold wonders what she’s thinking, whether she’s entertaining the possibility that Neal obliquely alluded to.

Once she goes to bed, he stretches out on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling and thinking as he gets ready to spend the night. He doesn’t sleep; he’s sleeping enough in his grave, he doesn’t need it in the afterlife.

Gloria said that they were benevolent souls, and would not sabotage their significant others’ chance at happiness. Gold is not so sure. He loves Belle with all his heart and it has been so painful to see her so miserable, and he is not so selfish as to prolong her misery because he can’t stand the thought of her being happy with someone who isn’t him. All the same, the morning’s chance encounter, and now this news from Neal, all serve as a painful reminder that all around him, life is going on, a life that he can never be a part of again but is doomed to watch over for as long as it takes for his unfinished business - the love he left behind - to finish. There is nothing else for him in this world; Belle is the only thing he exists for here, and the thought that she has to be the one to let him go is a bittersweet one. He wonders if Gloria feels the same way, knowing that her Nicholas has to do the same. In the short time he has known her she seems to be at peace with the idea and looking forward to helping the two of them out. It’s a brutal thought, but Gold wonders if it might be because she had more time to get used to the idea of death before it claimed her; she knew that it was coming and that life would go on without her. His death was sudden, unexpected, and no-one had seen it coming. Perhaps it’s because she could prepare for this a little better. Gold did not have that same time. One moment he was alive and next he wasn’t, trying to navigate this maze of afterlife on his own, and watching Belle navigate her grief, both of them sinking into the darkness of death and taking a long time to claw their way back out again.

Gold is glad to see Belle smiling, though. It’s been too long since he saw her smile without that tinge of melancholy in her eyes.

In the small hours of the morning, his reflections are disturbed by Belle’s bedroom door opening; she floats through the apartment to the kitchen and in her pale satin robe she looks almost like a ghost herself. For a long time she stares out of the window with a glass of water, and then she moves over to her desk, picking up the photo frame there. It’s a family snap, of himself and Neal and Emma and a six-hour-old Henry, and Belle smiles as she traces her thumb over his face.

“You’re going to be a grandfather again, Rum,” she says softly, and Gold’s heart clenches. She hasn’t talked to him like this for months. She doesn’t know he’s really there, that he can really hear what she’s telling him, but in those first months after he died, she’d told Archie that it had helped her to talk to him like this. She liked to think that somehow, somewhere, he could hear her. Oh, if only she knew just how close he was, and just how much his heart is breaking now to hear her speak to him completely unaware.

“Emma’s due in May. Neal and Emma are hoping for a girl, but Henry wants a brother. You know what kids are like at that age, they’re convinced that the opposite sex are strange aliens from another planet.” She laughs. “They’re still arguing over whether or not to find out at the next scan. They probably still won’t have decided by the time they actually get there.”

She continues to look at the photograph for a while, smiling fondly, and then she passes back into her bedroom. Gold sighs, scrubbing his hands over his face. It’s at times like this that he really, really feels the curse of his in-between state. He wants to go over to Boston, to check up on Neal and Emma, but if he keeps forming new attachments to the family that he left behind, then he will never be able to move on, always hanging around waiting for the next event and the next milestone, but never being able to truly live in those moments and experience them to the full. He cannot afford to become attached to his new grandchild in any way, because he will never be able to hold him or her, and never be able to bring this bond to a satisfying conclusion. No, he must stay with Belle. He’s always stayed with Belle before, because even though Neal was just as affected by grief, Neal has Emma and Henry to pull him through. Belle has plenty of friends, but no family, no-one as close to her as Emma is to Neal, as Gold had been to her.

Gold sighs, and settles himself back on the sofa to wait for morning, trying to process what to do with this new information, and the unsettling thought that Belle still talks to him.

[thedoughroom]

Without darkness, there is no light

Donny’s log. 9 PM on a Monday evening in December. 16 days until Christmas, and exactly 9 months since I last checked in. How have I been in this past time? I’ve been good. God. I’ve been good. Led an unbothered life, have been very grateful for everything that has come to me. You know me: I appreciate every little thing I deserve, and don’t ask for much. It’s not just a lifestyle, it’s who I am. And I cannot change who I am. However, now that it’s winter, the days are getting shorter and colder, and of course the holidays on our doorstep, I’m noticing a slow but sure slip into a certain state of mind. A state of mind I wish not to be in. It’s not the usual winter ‘dip’… This thing goes in a slightly different direction.

Happiness. Have I been happy in the past time? Define ‘happy’, as I’m not sure if I’m exercising this completely right. Is happiness the same as being thankful? Is happiness appreciating all the small and little good things that are coming your way? If that is happiness, the answer is yes. But even though I check these boxes, I can’t help but stand still and think deeply to myself; does this feeling equal how you’ve felt in the past years? I look up in the mirror and I’m having a stare-off with the guy in the mirror – not to intimidate, but to try and see past the oculus. What do you feel is true and eternal happiness, Donny?

I’m currently living the dream; I have my dream job, I have amazing colleagues with whom I regularly go out, my sex life is so booming that I even try to hide from meeting my hookups. By doing what I love and being good at it, I hope and try to inspire others. I want people to look at me and say ‘Damn, this guy has been performing ever since I’ve known him as a younger boy, to achieve his goals’. I want people to be inspired and say ‘If he can do it, I can do it too’. I want the credit where it’s due. By doing this, I feel like I’m at an all-time high. I feel immortal. But to maintain this feeling, I’m always looking for the next best thing. I’m always looking to keep myself busy. I’m always trying to exceed my own ceiling. But am I really enjoying this moment…? I don’t think you hear me. Am I really enjoying this moment? Do I truly feel? Do you truly know your worth and value in your position? Where does this doubt and question suddenly come from? I chose for myself, and I chose to excel in this. I have all the glory and fame I could have in my position at the moment. But then why do I feel like there is still this dark cloud hanging above my head? I constated the answer. It turns out, as much of the self-serving, independent bad bitch I am… I, in fact, feel… Lonely.

There… I said it. Lonely. Lonely and conflicted. Conflicted, because I know I am my strongest without succumbing to significant other. I am strongest without having to answer to anyone. I am strongest by working on myself with all the space I get. Yet, I am only human, who does miss it to have someone around that compliments you. Somebody with whom you can let your guard down for 1 second. Someone that says: “It’s fine babe. Take a rest from constantly fighting your battles.” We’ve unfortunately, already established that person is not Habibi, and I’ve more than accepted that. However, these feelings bring me back to a certain place. Or rather: a certain someone. Someone I seem to resent for all the bad feelings I feel now.

Nico. The man who promised me forever. The man who shattered my future dreams without batting an eye. Oh, how I hate him. Or at least, how I want to hate him. The reason for this mind race, is because I could assign a face to how I’m feeling at this moment. And that face is his. I don’t know why, but that’s what my brain decided for me, and as hard as I try, there seems to be nothing I can do about. I’m relapsing, but not in the sense that I miss whatever we had, or that I want to go back to us and how we are… Far from it. If anything, I’m glad I’m finally rid of this toxic relationship, in which I had to be shaped into his perfect image and have to live by his rules, while he gets all the freedom to do and be whatever. I’m relapsing, because I apparently have some unfinished business with him. I feel like I haven’t done enough to speak my mind on him.

Well then. Even though I don’t want anything to do with him, why do I keep thinking of him so often in these stupid little moments? I sigh, because here I know I can be honest. Honest to myself, honest to my thoughts. I think, in the past months, I have lived to compensate the hurt. I have lived to try and make myself the happiest man like only I know I can. But silently, just silently… I have lived to try and impress him. I have lived and try to show the world I’m doing fine – no, better. Better than I ever was. Better than I’ve ever been. The question is, though: who are you actually fooling? My life is too valuable to let it hang off a has-been’s opinion. Fuck him, and fuck whatever has to do with him. Ignore him. You’re living your best life, and the only person’s validation that matters for that, is yours! Don, no one else but you holds the power to define what happiness is and what your life should look like. Please do not try to compare yourself to his, and please believe in your own strength. Who you are isn’t dependent on the love someone else gives you. Who you are is reflected in no one other than you. Don’t try to put up a façade for someone that doesn’t matter anymore: be happy because you do what makes you happy. You are the bad bitch that deserves nothing but good. You’ve been working so fucking hard – too hard to let these great achievements be overshadowed by anything else. Donny, you got this. Fill your heart and your life with positivity, not with hate or disgust towards one another. Get rid of the negativity and surround yourself with the positivity.

I sat myself down and forced myself to write everything I’m thankful for. I counted my blessings one by one. And then I cried. I was too much filled with emotions that I haven’t let out in a long time. A cry is a sign of strength – it’s letting go of a stream of negative energy. Release yourself, Don. Release yourself of all the negativity and just put the positivity in your vision. I hereby declare you freed from all the nonsense! Make yourself happy, by I know only you can! I have faith in you, D.

Signed – a guy that just wants to be happy.

[lilac-milk-moon]

Be Proud of Being Different — Sitting Poolside with Radical FIRE

The Sitting Poolside interview series

When people think of retirement, scenes of beachfront homes, rounds of golf, or reading by the pool come to mind. Sitting Poolside is a series of interviews that challenges that notion and other financial misperceptions. The series name pokes fun at the stereotypes, but it’s also an opportunity to discuss people’s real stories and unique insights. So grab a piña colada and pull up a your lounge chair!

About M from Radical FIRE

I am a Dutchie passionate about the Financial Independence and Retire Early (FIRE) community. I want to empower YOU to be financially independent if you choose to be, because everyone can do it! I am taking you on my journey to be FIRE by the age of 35, let’s do it!

Early retirement

Mr. SR (MSR:) From your blog name, Radical FIRE, I know that you’re saving to retire early. What is your vision for your life once you reach retirement?

M from Radical FIRE (MRF): Yes, I’m working towards early retirement for sure. As is also in the blog name, I’m quite radical. I love to go all-in on things.

When I started my career, I went all in and received a promotion within 9 months of starting my career — with a 20% pay raise. I believe your career is your greatest asset, as you will earn a great deal of money in your career that will fast-track your way to any potential financial goals you might have.

I have to deliberately slow myself down. If I don’t slow myself down, I will continue running at 120 miles per hour and burn the candle at both ends. That’s why I think early retirement is perfect for me. I can take on multiple hobbies that interest me, do whatever I want, and still have time left.

I thought about what I wanted to do in (early) retirement. When I reach early retirement, the first thing I would do is travel. I have already seen a some part of the Americas, but I would love to travel the world. I would take my time, ideally together with my partner, and travel the world. Tranquilo. One country at a time, with no deadline for returning. That seems so relaxing to me and would be the perfect way to spend retirement. I am sure that we will find many places along the way that we would love to stay, so we can live in different countries for different periods of time. I love to learn about different cultures, so let’s get it on!

Travel

MSR: On your site you share that you’ve traveled extensively, including studying in the US for a semester and traveling in South America for 4 months. What place that you visited has been the most influential on you? How does travel fit into your life now and for your plans after FIRE?

MRF: Studying in the US for a semester was a lot of fun! I was very much in the student vibe. Partying, drinking, going to Vegas, spending money. I enjoyed my time in California a lot, it was the most relaxed period of my university life.

However, I would say that my trip to South America was more influential. This was really the trip where I had no friends or family to fall back on, a completely different culture, and many people along the way that were teaching me their lessons. I was also a few years older compared to my USA trip, meaning that I was more open to actually expanding my mind and only went back to the party lifestyle occasionally.

In South America I started to find my voice, started to let go of the urge to let everyone like me, and I learned to say no. It meant getting more confident in my own skin, more specifically not compensating for my confidence with spending money. I believe that on that trip, I truly changed. After that trip I took an additional few months to wind down and look for a job, totaling 8 months of mini-retirement.

When working towards FIRE, I will regularly take mini-retirements in order to keep myself motivated and to recharge myself along the way. I need to intentionally slow myself down to prevent me from losing balance. I don’t know how regularly I can take these kinds of mini-retirements, as it depends a lot on my employer. This employer I currently have is very flexible and they’re very happy with me. I expected to go give all in negotiating my mini-retirement, but it went very well and very easily.

After I reach FIRE, I expect to be traveling for quite some time. Just the kind of relaxed, slow travel that allows you to really feel every place you visit before you leave again. Perhaps live abroad, who knows! Life is full of adventure and surprises.

Life on the road

MSR: It sounds like travel is one of the primary goals for your early retirement. I’m interested in some of the logistics you have planned. Will you have a home base of sorts, or will you be traveling indefinitely?

MRF: I am always excited to talk about plans, especially for plans that I love and am looking forward to. I have to admit it’s all hypothetical, I am a dreamer who is thinking all day about what life will be.

Personally I like being free, I like to have the ability to make my own decisions. Be spontaneous and impulsive when I feel like it. Thinking about all this, I am not aiming for a home base in terms of a house somewhere where I want to return to throughout the year. If I am traveling around the world I want to go wherever I want, whenever I want. It could mean that we’re renting a house somewhere for a few weeks or even months, but also moving on from that once we desire to go to a new place.

In terms or way of traveling, I would love to live in a camper for a few months or years. You have the flexibility still, combined with the comfort of having your own little place wherever you go. Right now, traveling really appeals to me, I want to see everything. I can imagine after a few years you may long for a place to stay for a longer period of time. I want to travel for a few years, but I also want to be able to come back whenever I want.

I can remember when I was traveling in South America that it was an amazing experience. After a few months, I need the structure and timeliness of the Netherlands again. Everything is taken care of, you don’t need to worry about anything. I can imagine that the same will happen when I will be on the road for a few years.

Valuing being different

MSR: You mention that you felt that you were compensating for confidence by spending money. What caused you to change, in that respect? What gives you confidence now?

MRF: In South America things were different. You meet a lot of people. Some you see only a few hours, some you travel with for several weeks. The people are so different and so diverse, it’s amazing. That made me feel that I would be accepted, no matter what. Every single person is unique in an amazing way. You don’t want to be like someone else, that would make life utterly boring!

Up until that moment I’ve always classified myself as different — not like the others. I was thinking that was a bad thing. That I needed to be like everyone else. In that moment I gave up on that expectation of myself. I realized that people would accept me. I realized that being different is the most beautiful thing there is, and I should be proud of that.

Since then I’ve realized it’s good to go against the herd. I’ve done what people were expecting of me my whole life – where did that got me? In a job I don’t like, working 40 hours per week. Now I’m pursuing FIRE, I’ve started a blog, and I’m going for a four month mini-retirement with my partner. My life is getting a whole lot better and I’m convinced the best is yet to come!

Growing up

MSR: What was your concept of wealth when you were growing up?

MRF: My parents had enough money to provide for our family, until my father passed away when I was six years old. Even though he taught me some great money lessons, my mom was never really into involving us in the finances. We got our own weekly allowance and that’s about it.

When I was 12, my mom met someone new and we merged households. They joined finances, bought a house in 2008, and a few months later my stepdad lost his job. Meaning that throughout my entire puberty we didn’t have money, at all. My parents couldn’t pay anything for me and I started getting jobs from when I was 13. With that money I could buy the things that I wanted at that age.

My friends got all the things they wanted, and I needed to save for them in order to buy anything. I was thinking that my friends were rich. I didn’t want them to notice that we didn’t have a lot of money, so I pretended for a long time. Buying designer clothes, paying everyone’s drinks, going on holiday multiple times per year. I never wanted to miss out.

There wasn’t any money talk in our household, it was a concept that was mostly avoided. Once my parents’ money situation got so bad that they borrowed money from me, which must be a terrible situation to be in as a parent. That was the moment I decided I never wanted to be like that and dove headfirst into personal finance.

Wealth

MSR: What is your concept of wealth or financial success now? What were the major influences that changed your view?

MRF: Throughout university I also had to provide for myself, which is something that has really learned me the value of money and the value of work. I wanted to say the value of hard work, but I had the most relaxed job at university: I was sitting at the reception desk and was chatting with people entering the building the entire day.

I enjoyed it a lot!

I worked with people double or triple my age, they were earning quite a lot of money because the university is simply a good employer with great benefits in the Netherlands. They were bored during their day, so they were always looking at a new car, new shoes, even a new horse (I swear!).

That was they my wealth view shifted: there are people who are earning a great deal of money, but they’re not wealthy or rich because they spend all their money on stuff. The big change in my view came from Rich Dad Poor Dad, where I learned that it is not how much money you make but how much money you keep. After that, I learned that you should give your money a job to do. Up until then, I would just save money and let it sit in my bank account. Now I’m letting my money work for me through investing in the stock market, Peer-to-Peer lending, and investing in cryptocurrencies.

First wealth was just time, but now I’ve realized that time is more important than money. People who are rich are working 80 hours per week and earning a lot of money. People who are wealthy are working 10-20 hours per week and earning the same amount of money.

Rich vs wealthy

MSR: I love the distinction you make between “rich” and “wealthy”.

What are you invested in now or what do you plan to invest in for the future? How will this help you live more on the “wealthy” side of the spectrum?

MRF: There is a big difference between being rich and being wealthy. I associate being rich with being able to buy many things, working hard, and never having the time to enjoy the things they buy. I associate being wealthy with being able to buy many things, deciding only few things that truly bring you happiness are worth buying, and having time to do whatever you want whenever you want.

At this moment in time I am aiming to be rich, in order to transfer to being wealthy later. I am currently mostly investing in VWRL (Vanguard All World ETF), as this is one of the few Vanguard funds that is available in the Netherlands. I have a few small positions in individual stocks, which is about 5% of my portfolio.

Recently I’ve also started getting involved with Peer-to-Peer lending, where you finance short term loans for consumers via different platforms. As the interest rates vary between 10% and 18%, this can be lucrative business. The risks associated with it are also higher, so I’m aiming to not have more than 20% of my total portfolio invested with them.

If the housing market in the Netherlands has cooled down, I would also love to have an investment property. I would have this managed by a company, meaning that it is mostly passive income for me.

All these investment types do not cost a lot of time to maintain. If the compounding machine will do its work I will transfer to the wealthy side of the equation over time!

Advice

MSR: What do you consider to be your biggest failure or regret?

MRF: My biggest regret is that I didn’t learn to say no earlier. I was living my life saving yes to EVERYTHING. That is fun, for sure, but it’s too much.

I wanted to be friends with everyone, wanted to be at every party, wanted to be at every holiday, wanted to have designer clothes, and more. I am happy that I am not that person anymore, it took a while for me to discover who I truly was and how I could stay true to myself.

I am sure that I wasted SO MUCH money. For example, when I graduated high school, I went on holiday with three different groups of friends. In one summer holiday. Costing me approximately €5,000 in one summer. Let’s say I learned a lot from it, enabling me to save currently 80% of my income year to date.

MSR: What advice would you give someone who is on the path to semi-retirement or early retirement?

MRF: The best advice that I can give someone is: focus on increasing the gap between your savings and your earnings.

Too many people completely forget their savings. I know it’s more fun to focus on your rate of return, but early on in the journey your savings rate is much more important than your rate of return. They think focusing on their savings is boring, but it’s an essential step to increase the gap between your savings and earnings.

Once you have your savings in check, you can start focusing on increasing your income. Try to get that promotion, try to get started with a side hustle, and more.

MSR: M, thank you for sharing your story with us! 

The post Be Proud of Being Different — Sitting Poolside with Radical FIRE appeared first on Semi-Retire Plan.

from Semi-Retire Plan https://ift.tt/317Igqi via IFTTT