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crazycoke-addict · 5 years ago

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The analysis of Chris McLean

Chris McLean is a fictional character from a tv series called total drama which is a reality tv that is parodied off of ‘survivor’. Chris is the host of the show who comes with the ideas of the challenges the contestants have to face in order get to the million. His challenges are shown to be very hard, challenging, with a little to even survival. The very first challenge back in season 1 ‘Total drama island’, the campers had to dive in shark infested water but making sure they land in a small water. He makes them through gruesome challenges in every season which shows not only he’s a sadist but also a psychopath who lacks any empathy towards the people around him. I’ve been rewatching the show, I understand why he does these things in the first place and why he decided to target teenagers instead.

Before Chris became a host, he did a lot of Internet and tv shows before that. In season 3 episode 5 “broadway baby”, Sierra is embarrassing Chris by listing out the things he had done like doing a cooking show, was in a band called ‘Fametown’ and even made embarrassing cat videos. These things that Sierra mentioned is very out of character to the Chris all know. These things are completely different to the chaos of total drama. It also shows that Chris is obsessed with fame and fortune. Because everything did was a failure, Chris knew he had to be smart. When total drama island was first aired it was in 2007. The early 2000s, reality tv shows were becoming more popular like keeping up with the kardashians, the simple life, American’s next top model, the amazing race and yes, survivor. Chris was probably analysing and realised that reality shows are success and decided to create total drama but in his own way. When the campers first arrived, it turns out that Chris posted fake photos to act like they were staying at resort which manipulate the teenagers by making them audition and if they got pick had to sign a contract. This is a reality show, but it’s a reality show with no scripts at all. He also seems to be obsessed with ratings so as the seasons goes on, the challenges become more extreme. He makes the challenges difficult to because in his words, “to make it more interesting”. In total drama world tour, he decided to bring in two new contestants Alejando and Sierra to spice things up and made them sing because singing reality shows are huge and the worst the singing, the higher ratings.

He also seems intelligent to who wants on the show and even wants back as well. When total drama island was first aired the campers had to audition in order to get in so he analyse every audition to find his 22 campers. In Heather’s audition tape, she said that he chooses her, she would give him more ratings but also said that girl are insecure to go on tv but says it’s because she more prettier than them, Chris chose her to be the villain of show and have more drama with the other campers, in Duncan’s audition tape he’s in the middle of escaping so Chris decided that he needed a delinquent in his show that causes chaos for the other campers. Chris chooses the characters who seem that have a stereotype in them.

Ezekiel- the homeschooler

Heather- the mean girl

Lindsay- the dumb blonde

Noah- the Sarcastic know it all

Duncan- the juvenile delinquent

Gwen- the goth

Owen- the overactive cheerful guy

Bridgette- the surfer chick

Geoff- the Party dude

DJ- the mama’s Boy

Eva- the female athlete with anger issues

Cody- the dork who thinks he’s the ladies man

Harold- the geek

Katie and sadie- the BFFs

Leshawna- the loud and proud

Beth- the wannabe

Izzy- the crazy one

Courtney- the bossy one

Tyler- the jock who is bad at sports

Trent- the cool guy who plays the guitar

Justin- the model

Chris chooses people that he knows would be worthy and get more ratings in the show and even brings back the ones who would give more ratings and drama which is why he brings back, contestants like Courtney and Heather who are competitive and only care about the prize. When he decided to bring in new contestants for season 4, I think he chooses mike to exploit him and to see what he’s hiding. In mike’s audition tape, mike reveals that he doesn’t care what his doctor but is embarrassed that he says that. Chris chooses mike because he wants to know what is mike hiding and exploits it.

In the first season, the campers are 16 years old so their teenagers. Chris decided to choose teenagers because teenagers takes more risks and are competitive, they easy to manipulate by bribing them. If one of the contestants don’t participate in the challenges or refuse to back on a season, Chris tells them they have a choice that they can go back on the show to have a chance to win the million or become losers instead. He gives them choices that they don’t really have a choice on. When old contestants reach to their adult age, he knew that he needed new teenagers that he could manipulate and torture.

Chris is a Narcissistic person who loves himself and chooses to spend all the money that was for the season instead he spends it on for himself. In total drama world tour, when they go to Jamaica and have ran out of gas for the plane, Chef is upset with Chris when doesn’t take the blame and said he blew off all the money for ‘Chris land’. Chris suffers from narcissistic personality which is most commonly affect by men. The symptoms are:

- having a exaggerated sense of self-importance

- Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

- Expect to be recognised as superior even without achievement that warrant it

- Exaggerate achievements and talents

- Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance or the perfect mate

- Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

- Monopolise conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

- Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

- Take advantage of others to get what they want

- Have an inability or unwillingness to recognise the needs and feelings of others

- Be envious of others and believe others envy them

- Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

- Insist on having the best of everything- for instance, the best car or office

When you read the symptoms and look at the character, Chris McLean as a whole, majority fits him very with actions on the show. He doesn’t show any empathy towards the other contestants whenever they do the challenges, in some parts he seen laughing at their pain. Like I said before, Chris is obsessed with fame meaning he has an obsession towards success. He deserves to have the best at anything he buys when Duncan blows up his “cottage”, he has to live at the spa hotel but is complaining because he feels like he’s living like a peasant. Which shows that Chris needs to the superior one more than the other contestants, he has to be on top of the pyramid. Chris rarely lets his emotions gets the best of him and in the majority of the times, he is smiling when he feels embarrassed or a one of contestant are being nosey, chris let’s his emotions get the best of him and goes through his outbursts. Which is similar to how a narcissist feels when they are given criticism.

Chris McLean is a Narcissistic psychopath who is well aware of his surroundings and very intelligent when it comes to his own show.

#chris mclean #total drama #analysis #psychopath

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wolfpawn · 5 years ago

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I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 71

Chapter Summary - Tom texts Danielle after the BAFTA Tea Party only to realise she is somewhat irked by a comment by the interviewer and when the world reacts to Tom's Golden Globe acceptance speech, Danielle becomes angered.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom: Did you watch the interview?

Danielle: Yes.

Tom: Elle, what's wrong?

Danielle: Nothing.

Tom: Elle, did I say something wrong?

Danielle: No.

Tom stared at the messages; she replied as soon as he had hit send and her one-word answers could only mean she was upset, so he pressed the call button. As soon as the ring was interrupted, he began. "Darling?"

"Who the hell asks people that?" Danielle snapped.

Tom frowned, "What?"

"Asking what sort of 'real job' you would have, as though acting isn't a job!" she replied indignantly. "I'm sorry, people getting up at four am and not getting to bed until the next day at noon is not actually work in some people's eyes."

Tom's eyes widened as he finally figured out the reason for his girlfriend's ranting. "So you are angered about that?"

"Obviously." Danielle snapped back as though it was the only logical answer.

"I was worried you were angry at me."

"Why would I be angry at you, you haven't done anything wrong?"

"I was wondering the same." Tom chuckled. "So other than wanting to tear the interviewer a new one for asking what you think is a condescending question…"

"It is a condescending question," Danielle growled back.

"Well, yes, you are correct darling, it is. But overall…?"

"I got a little confused a first, one moment you said formal education was essential in acting, but then you said it wasn't, I realised then you were arguing from a Devil's Advocate sort of point of view." She stated.

"Well yes, some of the best never had any training, but as I said, it opened me up to being able to do and understand things I would never have been able to otherwise." Tom's smile was obvious through the phone.

"You're very happy."

"I am, I love getting to talk to you about this and you always seem to understand; I miss being there with you and Mac though."

"We miss you too, no really, Mac was waiting for you to come down the stairs yesterday morning and is looking for you," Danielle explained.

"And what about you?"

"It's weird here without you, I feel somewhat odd."

"You don't feel like it is home?"

"It's not home." Tom's heart sank. "You're not here."

"What?"

"It's easier and harder being here, the bed smells of you so I have your pillows right next to mine, I haven't stolen them, they are harder than mine are and I don’t want them to lose your smell, but it's hard because you aren't here. I woke today wondering what possessed you to go running in this weather."

Tom gave a sad laugh at hearing that. "I hate this hotel, I can see so much of LA, it was sunny and warm today, but I wish I was back in London, in the wet weather with you."

"Soon, you have that award to win first," Danielle smiled.

"You have too far too much faith in me."

"And you don't have enough in yourself."

"I wish you were here." "You were spotted at the airport." "I know." Tom sighed, knowing that that was all that had to be said for Danielle to justify not going with him. "Some day, if I grow a pair, I might be brave enough to try." "Elle, you are the bravest woman I know, you never let anything stop you." "Now who has too much faith in who?"

"You know it's true." "I am thinking of going to Suffolk for a day or two." "Really?" "Yeah, see your mum, organise a few things."

There was an upbeat tone to Danielle's voice at that. "That sounds nice." Tom could not match it.

"Tom?" it was Danielle's turn to sense something amiss. "What's wrong with me going to Suffolk?" "Are you not happy in London?" "I am actually, far more content than I…wait, you think I am doing a runner, don't you?"

"What?" "You think that I have decided London isn't working and as soon as your back is turned, I have run off and gone back to Suffolk, don't you?" "Well the timing is…why are you laughing?" Danielle had to force herself to be serious. "I really do forget you have stupid voices in your head that say stupid things to you too." She admitted as she thought lovingly about the actor. "I am not fleeing London, I just need to sort a few things and in truth, I miss Diana and want to spend time with her. I used to see her daily, now all I get is a phone call, that's not enough, I want to see more of her."

"She's my mum." "Are you getting possessive of her now, after five and a half years?" Danielle asked disbelievingly. "For the record, I was always possessive of her, she's my mum, but no, that's not what I meant. Most men have partners that are so put upon to simply spend an afternoon in their mother's company, you are actively sneaking there when I am out of the country." "Sneaking is hardly the correct term, I just told you outright what I am doing," Danielle laughed.

"Still." "We will go again when you come back, I just need to sort a few things." "What are you going for?" Tom's tone was light and curious, not suspicious, making Danielle smile. "I want to bring some more stuff here actually if that's okay?" "Wait, really?" "Yeah, clothes, books and I was going to ask if it was okay if I brought that coffee table for the living room?" Tom's eyes lit up, he was tired from travelling and the evening, but hearing that Danielle wanted to personalise the house more with her belongings gave him a new lease of energy. "I think it would look wonderful there, you don't mind?"

"Why would I mind, I am the one trying to change the place."

"Does your phone have face time?" "No, but my laptop does, why?" "I want to see you."

"You better hang up so," Tom did as he was told and a moment later, he noticed Danielle call him via her skype. "Hey handsome, is everything alright?" "Elle, I love you." "It's a coffee table?" she sounded almost concerned.

"I am just happy that we are doing this." "Getting a coffee table?"

Tom chuckled. "No, I know it is slightly fast, but I am glad we are doing what we are doing. I love you." "I happen to love you too you big dork, now, it is past midnight there, get some rest and I will talk to you later, okay?" "Yes, ma'am." "Don't get sassy with me." She warned. "Goodnight Tom, I can't wait until we are at the spa, you getting the comfort and treatment you deserve, having brought home your Golden Globe and we can just snuggle up together reading." "You have no idea how good that sounds." He moaned almost sinfully.

"I have all but my final project done now." "What?" Tom stared at her, thinking she was messing. "But you said it would take weeks." "And it did, I have been working my ass off for weeks." "Elle?" "Yes?" "You had three projects left when I left two days ago." "Yes, and?" "Did you pull an all-nighter to get two done?" "No." She could not meet his gaze. "Elle?"

"Technically, no. I went to bed, but couldn't sleep, so it made more sense to do something productive, so I had not planned to but I got a project done, or two." "Elle darling, you need your rest."

"I got some, a little. You can talk." She grinned back playfully.

"I know, but please, look after yourself, I want you to be healthy and happy." "I will be, when you come home." "I thought it was not home without me." "It's not, I am waiting for you to come back and make it home again." "As soon as I can, darling." "I love you, Tom." "I love you, Danielle."

"I will talk to you before the ceremony." "You had better, I cannot face it without talking to you first, goodnight, darling, or good day, or whatever." "Goodnight Tom, sweet dreams." *

Danielle - I knew it, congratulations. I am delighted for you, I know you were nervous, but you did okay and I cannot wait to talk to you in the morning. I love you and I will talk to you soon. Xxx

Danielle was exhausted, she had driven to Suffolk late enough in the afternoon and spent until Tom's win with Diana talking and catching up, so when he won, she knew he would not be able to text/call for a time, so she went to bed, knowing it would be afternoon in England before he would ring, since she knew there would be an after party, so with her congratulations sent, she got some rest, feeling sorry for Tom for how he got so nervous when he was in stage and jumbled up his words somewhat. Smiling proudly at Tom getting recognition for his hard work, she closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.

Danielle ran full speed, she leapt over a log and kept running, even as she began to breathe heavily. Mac ran alongside her, easily making his way through the woods in front of her inadvertently giving her a path to safely follow.

Danielle had woken thinking that Tom's win was great, she suspected a few people would mock his nervousness. She had not anticipated that people would call him conceited, narcissistic and egotistical. She was angry, upset and all around pissed off. Tom's first text back was one of elation, saying he loved her, cursing himself for getting nervous, thanking her for staying awake and saying he too could not wait to talk to her. The second one was not as upbeat, it was clearly after he had gotten word of what people were saying and it killed her a little inside. Tom was thick-skinned these days because of the industry toughening him up, but he had gotten nervous and said everything he wanted, just not as articulately as usual, and people were trying to piss on his achievement, not caring that it could ruin it for the actor, just as long as they got to ridicule someone. Because Tom was not just thanking himself and others in the series, because he had referenced something other than himself, they had to make it that he was bragging, because of course, no one could actually care about others like that, they have to be pushing a self-serving agenda in some people's books. It annoyed her so much that Danielle could only run to get herself to calm down, she had to wear herself out so that she could try and eat or rest.

When she finally got back to her car, she was exhausted, covered in mud and sweat and hardly able to breathe. Mac was beside her, equally destroyed and panting heavily, opening the boot, she pulled out a towel and knelt down to dry the dog off a little, the taste of metal in her mouth as she still gasped for breath. Mac sat, knowing well that she wanted, looking at her with interest. "I'm sorry," he just looked at her with large eyes. "I'm just so pissed off for Tom." He cocked his head slightly at Toms name. "No, I am not pissed off at him, just what the assholes are saying about him." Mac groaned. "Tell me about it, come on, we better get home." as soon as she said 'home' the dog jumped into the covered back seat of the car and lay down. "Good boy," She went over to the driver's side and got in, taking a small drink before she started the engine and headed back to the house.

When she arrived back she was not shocked to see Tom had texted. She had sent one to him saying that she was going for a run and wouldn't have her phone and that she would text when she was home. His simple 'okay' in response told her his mood had not improved. Part of her wanted a shower, a larger part of her wanted to talk to Tom.

Danielle - I'm home, ring whenever suits you.

She pressed send and waited. She had not even untied her shoe laces when the phone rang. "Hey." she felt terrible. After a win of such magnitude, she knew her voice should not sound as it did.

"You have no idea how much I wish I was at home with you." Her heart broke hearing his tone and those words.

"I wish I was there with you." "What they said, you know I never…" "Tom, you were nervous, they are just trying to ridicule you because they are pissed you made their sanctimonious 'aren't I great' fest not about them for fifteen fucking seconds." Danielle found her anger rising as she felt Tom's despair at the night's events. "Don't let them take this from you, you worked so hard on it and it was brilliant, you know it. Do what you have to do there, come home and we will be back to just us for a while again before Kong, alright?" There was a moment or two of silence before Tom spoke again. "I love you, Danielle." "I know, I love you too." "When I get home…" "I am going to collect you from the airport, have your favourite dinner ready, we are going to put your hard-earned award up with the others, we will sit down and watch TV and we will not allow those buzzkills ruin this, then we will go on our weekend away and relax for ourselves." "What about your final project?" "I am going to take a shower now, get a nice tea and start the next part of it." "Next part?" "I may have started already," she confessed.

"How many weeks have you left to finish it?"

"Three, I will have it done before you get here though." "Elle, don't push yourself too much." "You sound like my dad. He was freaking out about me before I did my Leaving Cert." "Your what?" "Our version of the A-Levels." "I don't even want to imagine what teenage Elle was like at exam time." "Obsessive is a word my classmates, teachers and parents used, more than once." "I think that an accurate term." Tom agreed. "I met Chris and his wife." "Ooh, which one?" "Hemsworth." "Oh lovely, you haven't seen him in a few months, I hope you had a good time catching up." "We are meeting again today to chat more." "Lovely."

"I told him about you." "Oh?" Danielle was always worried when Tom informed people about her for fear she would not meet their approval. Though Tom's circle of truly close friends was small, that mattered more to him than most everything in the world, so them not liking her was Danielle's greatest fear.

"They cannot wait to meet you." "I...When would they…?" "Well, we are not sure, but I was hoping that at the very least, come the Thor release, we could introduce you in private, if not before." "If the chance comes up, I would love to. I remember when he was in Home and Away." She recalled Kym Hyde from the show when she was younger.

"You didn't…by any chance…?" Tom seemed unsure of how to broach the subject. Danielle just laughed. "Oh, yes, I used to have twelve posters of him on my walls." She joked. "No, I never saw the appeal personally, I mean, I know he is a good looking man, just never got my attention." "Really?" "Nope, I actually prefer dorky book types, you know, tall, handsome, well-read." "I hate to tell you this, but Ben is married." Tom quipped.

"I know, so I googled alternatives and there was your ginger curly-haired ass."

Tom laughed at her joking. "I needed to talk to you." He commented.

"I know, I wish we were able to be together today, I want to be able to curl up with you and tell you how much you earned that and not to let them get to you." "Luke helped me with a statement, just outlining that I got tongue-tied and nervous." "You shouldn't have to, you know some of them don't care why it happened, they just want to ridicule you." "I know, but I don't want people who are actual fans thinking I am an asshole, I want to just explain it for myself, but also for those who are wondering." "You know I support you no matter what," Danielle stated.

"I know you do and thank you. I cannot wait until I get home to you." "We are waiting for you, Mac is still annoyed you are not around, he scoured your mums yesterday and came back to the kitchen less than impressed. I think he was looking for you." "Poor fella, tell him I will bring him for a long walk as an apology when I get back." "I will, we will come here for a few days and we'll both take him for one."

"That sounds idyllic. I better go and get ready for today's circus. I love you, Elle." "I love you too Mr Best Actor." She smiled, waiting for Tom to hang up before getting ready for a shower, hoping that his mood had been lifted slightly from talking to her.

Across the Atlantic, Tom looked at his phone and wished he was back in London, or perhaps Suffolk with Danielle, and not in LA. He wished he never came, or that she had come with him, but hearing her voice, he felt some bit better.

#I Hate You I Love You #chapter 71 #wolfpawn #tom hiddleston #tom Hiddleston fic

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paradife-loft · 5 years ago

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Jade War liveblog, ch8 through ch16

- I fucking love Wen, she’s gr8 :D

- “it was obvious after he was born that he’s a Kaul” // “hmmm, idk I don’t see the resemblance” Hilo ilu you fucking vindictive dork <33333

- “I still want Niko to know his biological father” .................. WELP :|

- HILO’S GONNA BE THE BESTWORST UNCLE~~~~~ (also eeyeyyyyyyy baby Kaul cousins~)

- “bluffer’s jade” is such a good phrase; Fonda Lee has an excellent knack for sociolinguistic worldbuilding.

- “I wonder what it’s like, to think like a machine and not care about anyone.” EYYYYYYYYY AYT MADA IS <333333 (....how do I love both the cold and ruthless one who kills siblings and the hotheaded loyal one who kills for siblings? just because, ok; I contain multitudes.)

- hmmmmm I do not trust that Eyni’s snobby reply to Wen’s letter is just what it appears on the surface. 100% betting there’s some sort of Shenanigans going on there :|

- Hilo supporting Wen, and her going from habitually bringing up her opinion on clan matters when it’s just the two of them, to asserting her opinion at one of the clan leadership meetings at a point after he comments on this? AMAZING. DELIGHTFUL. you’re doing wonderful sweetie!! no but really I love how she’s so practical and confident and opinionated, but also still has these... habits, I think, more than anxieties, from growing up being overlooked and looked down on? just these little sort of blind spots that make her feel extremely real and relatable to me? and Hilo notices and pokes her about them because he values her so well even when he doesn’t actually know half of what she’s helping him with! they’re good :3

-HOLY SHIT ANDEN GOT INVOLVED IN A STREET DUEL :D over a couple mistakes and different cultural standards :D I fucking love intercultural miscommunication that results in things going sideways super fast, yes I do :3 (also slur-tossing asshole had it coming, t b q h.....) (well, really all the Espenians in general can Get Fucked from where I’m standing; yes I do know the narrative POVs are biased, what of it?)

- now I’m off thinking about the conceit of “rule of law” vs other methods of settling disagreements (in this context, dueling) again... have I just spent too much time in the heads of characters who live in societies where dueling and so forth is a perfectly reasonable method of settling disputes? idk. but I’m definitely, hmm, frustrated by assertions of The State’s Legal System being Always and Completely and Obviously the Better & More Civilised Method for conflict resolution, in discussions of these sorts of things. mainly because of the “completely” and “obviously” parts. (also slightly the “state” part. #anarchy)

#James liveblogs books #Green Bone Saga

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dresupi · 7 years ago

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Liquid Courage

Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Natasha Romanov For: @paranoidwino Prompt: “This mulled cider is great…” “Yeah… that’s not cider, it’s wine.” “WHAT?” Word Count: 1144 Rating: T

[Read it on Ao3]

Summary: Mulled cider and mulled wine look surprisingly similar, but one lends more in the way of liquid courage than the other. AKA, the one where Darcy asks Natasha out over videochat.

Happy Holidays, Wino!

Check out the [25 Days of Darcyland Masterlist] for more holiday themed fics! I’m posting one a day until December 25!

Darcy was just pulling the last of the foam rollers out of her hair when her phone buzzed on the bathroom vanity beside her.

Natasha's picture flashed on the screen; it was the sneak-attack one Darcy had snapped when she had her mouth full of spaghetti. There was even a little sauce on her chin.

Natasha hated the pic, but Darcy loved it.

She dropped the last of the rollers into the zipper case beside her and swiped the screen to check her text.

"I was called away, won't be able to make it tonight. Sorry, solnyshko…"

Darcy felt her bottom lip poke out. She had volumized her hair. She'd bought a new sweater. It was pink and showed just enough cleavage to be purposeful. She'd gone to Ulta and spent a small fortune on new mascara and various other cosmetic unnecessities.

And now Natasha wasn't even coming to the party?

She was disappointed, but didn't want to make Nat feel bad. So she simply texted back: "Awww, sorry to hear that. I'll miss you. Can you text me, or will you be busy?"

She picked up the hairbrush and began to run it gently through her hair, careful not to tamp down the wildness in the waves. It usually took Natasha a while to text her back, so she was surprised to hear phone buzz again so soon.

"I'm on a flight back, so I'm all yours. ;)"

The winky face was a life ender. Natasha never used emojis. Was this her subtle way of flirting?

Darcy didn't want to assume anything.

"All mine, huh? Guess I don't need anything else for Christmas… ;)"

Her heart clenched the second she pressed send. And she wished, not for the first time, that she could reach out into the void and snatch a text back after having sent it.

But she couldn't. It was out in the universe. And showing up on Natasha Romanov's phone even as Darcy began sweating bullets.

Nat sent something back immediately.

"I still got you a gift. Consider this a bonus. ;)"

Gulping, Darcy sent a series of hearts and then set her phone down to finish her hair and makeup for the party. She could maybe at least send Nat a selfie after she was dressed and ready. No need to let her look go to waste just because the recipient of said look wasn't physically present.

It didn't take her as long as she'd been expecting, so she had about twenty minutes to kill before leaving her apartment to head down to the party. Which was plenty of time to take a hundred useless selfies, as she soon found out.

Why wasn't she naturally photogenic like everyone else in this complex seemed to be? She looked hella amazing, but her phone camera was just NOT getting the memo.

Finally, through sheer frustration/exhaustion with the whole ordeal, she lay back on her bed, her hair flowing out in a halo around her. She bit her bottom lip and snapped a picture, and thank THOR almighty it did her justice.

She sent it via text to Natasha and held her breath as she waited for her friend to see it.

Natasha read the message and typed back one word.

"Wow!"

Darcy preened a little, her cheeks flushing even though no one was really here with her.

She texted back, "Thank you?" so as not to seem too conceited or anything.

"You are beautiful, solnyshko. I'm sorry I can't be at the party with you."

Her heart thudded in her chest as she swiped her response: "Facetime?" It thudded right up into her throat after.

"For the entire party?"

Darcy began to backtrack. "I mean, if you want. If not, it's no big deal… I mean, Clint's there and he's sure to do something memorable. I can't be the only person secretly laughing at these dorks…"

"Darcy, if it's not too much trouble, I would love to facetime with you for the party."

Grinning, Darcy tapped the Facetime button.

"Okay, so the party is in full swing…" Darcy said, spinning her phone around upon her entrance. "As you can see… Clint is already curious about the bottom of the punch bowl…"

Natasha didn't laugh, but her lip twitched. That was just as good as a laugh in Darcy's book.

"This is fun and all, Nat? But I still wish you were here…" Darcy said wistfully.

Natsha's red lips twisted into a smirk. "Go get some of the punch. Let me live vicariously through you…"

"They aren't giving you anything to drink on that flight?" Darcy asked incredulously.

"They did, but it was one of those tiny cans of soda…commercial flights…" Natasha said with a shrug.

"You're on a commercial flight?" Darcy asked. "Aren't the other passengers upset about us talking so much?"

Natasha lifted her phone and slowly circled the cabin. While there were other seats in first class, not a single one was filled.

"Ah. I see."

She shrugged again. "Drink?"

"Okay, but it's just mulled cider…"

Darcy crossed the floor, sidestepping Clint and Thor on her way to the refreshments table. She filled a cup with the warm mulled cider and took a sip. "Mmmmm," she hummed. "It's heavenly."

Natasha's lip twitched again. "Sounds like it."

Darcy took another sip, feeling a bit more bold than she had before. "Heya, Nat… you think that maybe when you get back we could like… I dunno. Start seeing each other?"

Natasha's eyebrows went up, an actual-facts-smile spread on her lips. "Start seeing each other more? Because while we see each other a lot, I could definitely go for seeing you more."

Grinning, Darcy shook her head. "No. Well. Yes. But seeing each other in a… romantical capacity?"

Natasha tilted her head. "Thought you'd never ask."

Darcy's heart leapt and bounded in her chest, making the rounds of her entire thoracic cavity. She beamed, feeling the blush rise in her cheeks and having little else to do but take another sip of her cider. "This mulled cider is great!" She exclaimed.

Nat pressed her full lips together in a line before responding. "Yeah… Darce… that's not cider, it's wine."

"WHAT?" Darcy peered into the cup. "Not possible, I hate wine. Too bitter."

"The color's too dark to be cider. It's wine."

"Maybe it's cranberry juice," she argued.

"Nope!" Clint interjected, sliding up behind Darcy to wave at Natasha on her screen. "It's WINE, Darcy-Girl… Hey Nat!"

Darcy's mouth fell open. "Oh my Thor, I accidentally gave myself liquid courage…"

Clint glanced between Natasha on the phone and Darcy herself. "Are you guys finally--? Oh good grief, it's about time! Drink some more, Darce. Maybe go ask Tony for a raise next…"

"Hey, you're right… I do deserve a raise!"

Clint took the phone from her and clapped her on the back. "Atta girl."

#Darcy/Natasha #Natasha/Darcy #Darcy Lewis #Natasha Romanov #Taserbite #Darcy x Natasha #Natasha x Darcy #paranoidwino #25DaysofDL #Day 1

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ikon-au · 8 years ago

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ikon in a basketball team!! you watch knb right? so can you do them with abilities like GoM and stuff?? love you guys so much!!

bOY I ACTUALLY LIVE FOR SPORTS ANIMES BLESS YOUR LIL SOUL YES YES PLEASE Y’ALL EVEN IF YOU DON’T WATCH ANIME WATCH KUROKO NO BASKET IT IS 1000% TOP QUALITY STORY & ANIMATION AND YES ASFSDGADAFSGA

I did my best to put all the GoM but if you count Momoi and Kagami then yeah (couldn’t fit kuroko i cry)

Background info, knb is about basketball teams. There was once a legendary team in middle school which people nicknamed the Generation of Miracles. But during high school they all split up to different school to then fight it out on court

thanks for requesting and have a great day /night!

also heyy been a month :))

- admin em

Jinhwan - Akashi Seijuro

Small, cute but eVIL

Even though he is small, his intimating presence make him a legendary player int his own right

He has the power of the Emporer eye that allows his to read his opponents movements and widen his view of the court (and funky eye colours)

His notorious reputation as a player and captain of his current team and the team in middle school has put fear in basketball teams with just saying his name

Yunhyeong - Momoi Satsuki

Coach for the once legendary middle school team

He is very seductive and eye candy by other teams

He ability is by the number calculate the abilities of a player, and predict if there moves and tactics

Has been close friends with Bobby ever since they were kids and now coaches his team

Can tie a cherry vine into a knot with his tongue (and yes she is a girl, but for the purpose of this au, yunhyeong can be a guy)

Hanbin - Aomine Daiki

Okay so your maybe thinking why this guy is Aomine

so he was a basketball prodigy and one of the the best of the best

but after a while, he grew bored, no one he played gave his the satisfaction as he could beat them easily and there was no fun in that

his rival is bobby and they constantly butting heads on and outside the court

Yunhyeong has to keep an eye on him because of his hot temper, they transferred to the sam high school

“That only one that can beat me is me”

Like girls with big boobs

Bobby - Kagami Taiga

Was not originally a member of the Generation of Miracles, he forced his way to be recognised

Coming from the states, his stature and ability is different from your typical Korean teenager and boyyyy his jumps my gOD

Hot headed and needs the support from his teammates (from his Kuroko)

Even though he looks intimidating, he still is a major dork

Has the appetite of 6 full grown men

Scared of dogs

Donghyuk - Midorima Shintaro

Superstitious is an understatement

constantly checks his horoscope every single day and takes a lucky item with him (eg, his horoscope told him to take a jade buddha with him, he bought one and holds it around)

very serious and very very tsundere

His abilities allow him to shoot perfectly from any part of the court (even the other side) and he is so meticulous in his approach that he never misses and no one has the chance to stop his from missing

Glasses kun

Junhoe - Kise Ryota

Model, playboy, start athlete and a bit conceited

He was the last member of the Generation of miracle and only because he was so good at other sports and he had not tried basketball

His abilities can mimic the basketball moves of ANY opponent and even perform them better than the original player (but his cannot copy the special abilities of his fellow GoM members eg, Donghyuks shooting ability)

Only one on friendly terms with the other members

Girls come to his games just to watch him (to the disappointment of his teammates)

Chanwoo - Murasakibara Atsushi

Mursakibara is tall = so is Chanwoo

Tallest out of the Generation of miracles, he is a devastatingly good at defence and offence

But outside the court, he is nothing more than a kid who is lazy and eats a ton of snacks and plays games on his phone

a bit of a dick

Claims that he isn;t interested in the sport but if he loses to anyone will cry like a baby

only listens to Jinhwan even though they aren’t even on the same team

#ikon #ikon au #ikon scenarios #all #anime!au #jinwhan #yunhyeong #donghyuk #bobby #b.i #hanbin #junhoe #chanwoo #kpop #kpop scenarios #I'M BACKKKKKKKKK

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warrioroflondonbelow · 8 years ago

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Psst. Are you writing Victor Frankenstein verse by any chance? Because I love that conceited dork so much. =D

( I don’t know about Victor Frankenstein, as much as I absolutely adore that character, but I don’t think I’d do him justice. However, I’ve been thinking about making a Victorian!Richard AU for a while now. One of the reasons being I want to find icons and gifs from Victor Frankenstein for Richard. xD)

#telepathicmouse #ooc #i just adore Victor from that film #and have this mighty need to use gifs/icons of that film for Richard xD #and yes he is such a conceited dork :))

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kimnamjoonstrophywife · 8 years ago

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Hey, I was wondering who all you shipped from yuri!!! on ice?

Hello! I have quite a few ships really!1. Viktuuri (Viktor and Yuuri) if it’s not obvious from my posts haha2. SeungChuChu (Seung-Gil and Phichit) even though they have never met but I ship them aggressively they are my children and they are the only children I will ever have3. OtaYuri (Otabek/Yuri) because they are precious4. MilaSara (Mila and Sara) my beautiful girlfriends yes yes5. Takeshi and Yuuko (Takeshi and Yuuko) I don’t know what their ship name is but I wish there were more fics about them and their relationship and character development!6. JJ and Isabella (I don’t know what their ship name is either)Because yes JJ is a conceited dork but Isabella is such a supportive person like she’s always cheering for him even when he’s having his bad days, and he loves her more than he loves himself??

Don’t get me started on my platonic ships aka my brotps because I will start sobbing about Takeshi and Yuuri and Phichit and Yuuri and Viktor and Mari and the possibilities are endless

#ask #yoi #otp

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justsayun · 6 years ago

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Passing along the Wisdom.

Someone expecting his first child expressed how he wanted a boy. He had no desire to have a little girl. I told him "Buddy you're nuts, I have three girls and I wouldn't give up one of them." I am speaking from experience with Barbies and Boyfriends I couldn't stand. (Oh my daughters drove me crazy, (Still, do.) but they make me smile.)I've always tried to give my daughters insights to making life easier. For example, I told my girls to not date good looking guys. They're too conceited. They'll play games and dump you. Instead, date ugly guys. They'll do the same thing, but when they leave you won't care. (Yes great advice that my girls ignored. I do admit with daughters you'll never get into the bathroom and Homecoming and Prom Season major headaches to deal with.) I do have one son that I can hand off man knowledge to. For example; How to properly carry a 6-pack. (Yes theirs a cool way and a dork way of doing it.) Also that he should never eat corn on the cob on a first date. Plus date code secrets, (So important for a young man to understand.) like if a friend tries to set you up on a blind date and he says she's "Fun at Parties"! Usually, that means she's not a super looker but likes to drink. Yes, men know these little things that women don't. While with my grandson last week he asked how can you tell the good super-heroes from the bad ones? That's easy I told him. The good super hero's all wear their underwear outside their pants. It feels so good to pass on knowledge. My wife complains about my relationship with our girls from time to time. She says "I don't understand why our girls adore you. They always hit me up for things and never you, because you'll say no. You're the "No" person in our family. I told my wife I agree I am the no person with our children, but they love my consistency.

#raising girls #children #super heros #six pack #my son #blind dates #grandson #eating corn on the cob #fatherly wisdom

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niamsuggitt · 7 years ago

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The Ides Of July 2017

Hey guys! It’s time once again for The Ides Of, but this is a shorter column than usual. What can I say, it’s summer, there’s less TV on and I’ve been outside at least once. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still some damn good stuff in here, but there’s notably less.

Part of me feels like I should compensate with a longer, ramblier introduction, but nah, let’s get on with it.

(Is ‘ramblier’ even a word? I don’t think it is. More rambly? No, that’s not right either.)

—

Movies

I began the month by watching John Wick: Chapter 2 (Chad Stahelski 2017), which picks up pretty much right where the first film left off, and doesn’t let go for the entire running time. It’s another hugely enjoyable action movie with some fantastic set pieces and a brilliant, central performance from Keanu Reeves. I would probably say it was a step down from Chapter 1, if only because it hits a lot of the same beats and doesn’t come out of nowhere as being surprisingly awesome. I think what makes these films work is the very slow, deliberate world-building that goes on around the rather basic revenge plotlines. John Wick’s world of assassins has a definite fantasy twist to it, and every new rule, every new artefact we see, such as ‘markers’ only asks more questions, and I think that feeling of only just scratching the surface of a mystery is very powerful. It’s why I think the fervour of my fandom for a new world is always at it’s highest right at the start. When every page is a new discovery. In John Wick, both chapters, every scene is a new discovery. It’s why I’m both excited and nervous about the upcoming John Wick comics (even if they are by the excellent Greg Pak) and the possibility of a TV show. I want things to remain murky here. I mentioned Keanu earlier, but the rest of the cast is also great, with standouts being Ian McShane (of fucking course), Peter Serafinowicz and a very cool Matrix reunion with Reeves and Laurence Fishburne. These John Wick movies are just a lot of fun, very cool action, strong (albeit, as I said, simple) stories and just that hint of something higher.

I then watched La La Land (Damien Chazelle 2016), finally getting around to one of this year’s big Oscar contenders after months and months of hearing and reading some rather heated debate. Now that we’re a bit removed from all that, I have to say that La La Land is a thoroughly enjoyable movie that deserves a lot of the praise it received and, in my view, not as much criticism. The opening musical sequence is just a delight, a blast of classic Hollywood movie magic in that most prosaic of places… a traffic jam. That sense of old-school big musical carries throughout, and whilst at times I feel like the balance between that and the more modern, plotty scenes is a bit off, it works more than it doesn’t. All of the musical numbers are excellent, sticking in my head after the film, and I enjoyed how they fit into the story of Seb and Mia, both of whom are interesting, flawed characters with strong performances from Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. At first I was surprised that Stone won an Oscar here, because it’s not the kind of role that normally wins the big awards, but in a way, that makes it even better. She just sells the whole conceit here so well. One thing I found interesting is that the movie uses the classic Hollywood musical romance style to tell the story of a relationship that doesn’t end up working out. The two main characters aren’t able to live their professional dreams together. They have to sacrifice their being together to be successful in their own fields of acting and Jazz music (speak of the Jazz thing, that whole ‘La La Land white mansplains Jazz’ thing was way overblown, yes, Seb does do that a bit, but 2, 3 scenes later, John Legend’s character disagrees with him, and is shown to be correct!). I am conflicted about that final scene, where they idealise their romance and we see how it ‘could’ have gone. I can’t quite parse the meaning just yet. But overall, La La Land is great, effortlessly charming, with a directorial style and panache that hasn’t been discussed enough I don’t think. I think I definitely need to see ‘Moonlight’ now, just to see how they stack up. La La Land is good for sure, but I can see why others didn’t like it and don’t see it as ‘worthy’. Hopefully we can forget about that now and just appreciate what an experience it is.

And finally, I went to the cinema to see Spider-Man: Homecoming (Jon Watts 2017) and it should be no surprise at this point that I loved it. Not only do I like basically every MCU film, Spider-Man is my overall favourite superhero, so having him get his own story in that universe is just what dreams are made of for this particular dork, particularly after the relative let-down of the Amazing Spider-Man movies. I would probably say that Homecoming isn’t as good as an overall film as the first 2 Raimis (particularly Spider-Man 2), but that MCU connection gives it that extra edge. Think about it, when people talk about what makes Spider-Man so special, it’s pretty much always in comparison to other superheroes. Compared to Captain America and Thor his life’s a mess. A young kid can’t identify with Batman, but they can with Spidey. Superman’s costume shows his face, but Spider-Man’s hides his, so it could be anyone under there! Spider-Man’s charm is that he’s not like other heroes, so, as good as Raimi was, given that Spider-Man is the only hero in those films, that charm is missing. Lest we forget, the very first issue of Amazing Spider-Man sees Spider try, and fail, to join the Fantastic Four. This film follows a similar path, although swap out the FF for the Avengers. Post-Civil War, Peter Parker is desperate to join the Avengers and be like Iron Man. But throughout the course of the film, he, and the audience, realise that isn’t where Spider-Man is supposed to go. He has his own corner of the Marvel Universe. A friendly neighbourhood if you will! Basically everything in this movie works. I’ll start first by saying that Tom Holland is pretty much perfect. He showed that already in Civil War, but man, he doesn’t drop the ball here. He is funny, endearing, clever and heroic. Basically, he is Spider-Man. The cameos from Robert Downey Jnr’s Tony Stark are just enough, and the way other Avengers make their presence known is just hilarious. I thought Michael Keaton was brilliant as The Vulture, making the character understandable but also very menacing. But of course, with Spider-Man, it’s not just about the superhero action, but also about the personal drama, and I think Homecoming does the best of any adaptation at nailing Peter Parker’s home-life. The scenes between Peter and (the still disarmingly hot) Aunt May are great, hinting at the tragedy that binds them, but not dragged down by them. All of the high school stuff and characters are fantastic, feeling like the best combination of the classic Lee/Ditko days and the more modern, Ultimate Spider-Man. I mean, Ned is basically just Miles Morales’ best friend Ganke (speaking of Miles, loved the reference to him with Donald Glover’s character) and the new spins given to Liz, Flash Thompson, Betty Brant and MJ are great. I really loved Zendaya’s performance as ‘Michelle’ here, she’s a different kind of love interest, in that she barely is one at all! She came out of nowhere to be perhaps the funniest character in the film. And man, is it funny, that’s another thing Homecoming delivers where other films perhaps didn’t, the humour. The MCU is always comedic, but this is taken to another level. Can you tell I really liked this movie? I watched it after a tough week personally, and it really turned things around. Spider-Man has always taught me a lot about how to live my life, and it’s great that he continues to do so. I hope Tom Holland is inspiring a new generation of kids.

Television

Given that it’s Summah, there’s not as much TV as there usually is, but what there is to talk about is good stuff. The only returning show for me at the moment is Preacher (AMC) which is back with one hell of a bang. This second season has the series feeling a lot more confident, both in it’s ability to stick closer to the comics now that we’ve left Annville behind, but also in how it deviates from the source material. Whilst I enjoyed Season 1, Preacher really should be a road trip story, and that element is front and centre, as Jesse, Tulip and Cassidy search across America for God. Not only are they being followed by the Saint Of Killers, but recent episodes have begun to introduce my favourite antagonists from the comics, Herr Starr and The Grail. The fact that their introduction has been somewhat surprising is a sign of how good this show can be. It is familiar, but also able to give me something new. I said this a lot last year, but whilst the story may differ, the tone of this show is pure uncut Ennis and Dillon, and that’s hard to beat. The opening sequence of the Season Premiere was just the perfect mix of comedy, gross-out and violence. It blew me away. I continue to love the central performances from Dominic Cooper, Ruth Negga and Joe Gilgun. I don’t think any of them are likely to get Awards consideration, but they deserve it for me. The only real negative for me so far this season has been the Eugene/Arseface storyline, where we see what he’s up to in Hell. I get what they were trying to do, but making Hitler a sympathetic character doesn’t really work. It just felt like the wrong kind of ‘offensive’ for Preacher. But the sequences showing Eugene reliving his worst memory were some of the best the show has done. Preacher is a series that’s not for everyone, but as a fan of the comics, I really enjoy it a lot, Rogen and Goldberg continue to grow and evolve the show, and it’s really very exciting.

I also watched 2 Netflix originals in their entireties. First was Five Came Back (Netflix), a 3-part documentary series about the filmmaking exploits of 5 famous Hollywood Directors during WW2; John Ford, William Wyler, John Huston, Frank Capra and George Stevens. The series uses a lot of fascinating archival footage, and also pairs each of the 5 with a modern director; Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola, Guillermo Del Toro, Lawrence Kasan and Paul Greengrass. I found this to be a fantastic, powerful documentary, which made me look at not just these individual directors differently, but also see cinema as a whole and WW2 in a new light. The first episode is a little slow, introducing us to the 5 men’s lives before the War, but the later episodes are on a whole other level, and just blew me away with the footage they shot. One thing that really brings it home is the fact that a lot of what, particularly Ford and Stevens shot, was in colour. You don’t often see WW2 in colour, but it made it feel so much more real and effective. The football of Dachau concentration camp in colour was particularly harrowing. You just don’t expect to see that in colour. It was incredibly powerful and you really see why, after his experiences, George Stevens felt he was no longer able to direct comedy films, and instead only did drama from then on. It changed him so deeply. One thing that’s particularly cool about this series is that Netflix have also put a lot of the propaganda films the Directors made on the site as well. I haven’t watched any yet, but I am intrigued. It’s certainly made me more interested in their wider careers. I’ve seen most of Ford and Capra’s big pictures, but the likes of Wyler, Huston (who I know more as an actor) and Stevens I don’t think I’ve see any films of. If anyone can show me how I can see ‘The Best Years Of Our Lives’ in the UK, let me know, it looks like a fantastic counter piece to ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’. If you have any interest in the golden age of Cinema or WW2, you have to watch this series, it is a superb examination of both.

Over the space of just about 3 weeks I watched every episode of GLOW (Netflix), which really is fantastic. Given that I like the bastard art form that is professional wrestling, I was already pre-disposed to liking this series, but it transcends that to become a top quality series in it’s own right that, actually acts as a fantastic explanation of why ‘sports entertainment’ works. If you have any friends or family that don’t quite get it, I think GLOW, rather than any 5-star match or amazing promo will help you explain. Over the course of 10 episodes GLOW introduces some truly fantastic characters, delivers some brilliantly funny moments and also provides enough depth and drama so as not to be ridiculous. The way the series plays with stereotypes is just excellent, as pretty much everyone defies your expectations. The central performances from Alison Brie, Marc Maron and Betty Gilpin are the standouts, but really, everyone is good. I was very surprised to see UK pop star Kate Nash appear as Rhonda. I had no idea she could even act, but she was hilarious in all her scenes. It was also great to see Knives Chau from Scott Pilgrim, Ellen Wong appear, and as a fan of the much maligned 3rd season of Veronica Mars and poor Piz, Chris Lowell was fun as Bash. But the main thing here is Brie, whose Ruth is just one of the great modern TV protagonists. She manages to be both sympathetic and also an awful person at times, and it was great to see her slowly get her confidence back as she develops the ‘Zoya The Destroya’ persona. Her Russian heel accent is so damn good. One thing I liked is that the show treated Wrestling seriously, and that the matches we do see were kind of good, by 80s standards. It was great to see so many cameos from real wrestlers, the likes of Johnny Mundo, Tyrus, Carlito, Joey Ryan, Alex Riley (surprisingly good? How did this happen, he was so bad!), Kazarian and Daniels and of course, Awesome Kong/Kharma, who plays the biggest role in the series. GLOW is just a fun ride from start to finish, and I think it’s probably the best paced Netflix show I’ve watched. Most of their shows, as much as I enjoy them, tend to lag in the middle, but with this? I could have easily watched 3, 4 more episodes. Perhaps it’s the 1980s setting? Both this and Stranger Things kept the pace. I can’t wait for a second season, and man, if WWE knows what they’re doing, they should try and get some of the stars of GLOW to appear at Summerslam a la Stephen Amell. I mean, Smackdown already has a sexy Russian villain and a heroic champion who literally feels the Glow. It makes almost too much sense.

Now for some quick hits!

The 2-part iZombie (The CW) was really excellent, and set the series up for a very different 4th season next year. Zombies are now public knowledge, and a significant proportion of Seattle’s population are now Zombies. This is what the series has sort of been building to all along, but I don’t know if I ever actually expected it to happen. Now that it has, I am very excited to see what it will be like. Part of me will miss the classic dynamic of eating brains and solving crimes, but I have faith that the writers can keep the sense of humour and we won’t lose what makes the show fun.

The finale of American Gods (Starz) was very strong, particularly for an amazing Ian McShane monologue, the appearance of several Jesuses (Jesi?) and another brilliantly stylish flashback sequence focusing on Bilquis, but man, 8 episodes was too short a season, I feel like Fuller and Green have only just gotten started! Part of me thinks I should re-read Gaiman’s novel before Season 2, but I also like the fact that my memory is so hazy, it means I can still be surprised, like Preacher. These 2 shows actually have quite a few similarities now that I think about it.

Silicon Valley (HBO) ended it’s 4th season with the departure of one the main characters, Ehrlich Bachman, and I have to say it was bittersweet. I will mis T.J. Miller’s scene-stealing performance, but they way he left? Just abandoned by Gavin in Tibet to do drugs? It was so damn funny. I hope the series will be as strong without him, I think it might actually help them shake things up a bit and allow the plot to progress a bit more, because whilst this series is always funny, Season 4 did feel a bit like ‘2 steps forward, 1 step back’ at times.

The last few episodes of Veep (HBO) Season 6 were a bit like that too, although probably intentionally? Especially given that the finale featured flashbacks to throughout Selina’s political career. I am wary of her running for President again, but at this point I could watch these actors do anything, they are so funny, and I think that David Mandel and his writers, whilst different from Iannucci, have a firm handle on them. Veep is just a comedic classic at this point, and if a Presidential comedy can still be funny in the age of Trump, it really is good.

Music

Two albums to talk about this month, and both a returns for recent favourites of mine. First up is How Did We Get So Dark? (Warner Bros. Records 2017), the second album from Royal Blood. With this record, the Brighton two-piece don’t exactly reinvent the wheel, once more delivering 10 blistering rock tracks in the space of about 35 minutes. But when the wheel you’ve already got is so damn good, then it doesn’t really matter does it? This is another great collection of rock songs, that hit hard and stick in your memory. Given that this is reportedly a break-up album, the subject matter of the songs is probably a little darker than the self-titled debut, but with Royal Blood, the lyrics tend not to matter as much as the feel of the song, of the bass and the drums just kicking in your face. I would say my my favourite song on here is probably ‘Hook, Line And Sinker’, but the title track is also great, and really, they’re all excellent. I suppose it would have been interesting to see what a more experimental Royal Blood album would be like, but for now, I’m fine with a bit more of their formula. If they haven’t changed after 2 or 3 more albums, then I’ll be worried.

Public Service Broadcasting’s Every Valley (PIAS Recordings 2017) does however represent a rather big evolution for the band in question, as they are now no longer sampling old films and documentaries, but actually feature some singing! This record is another concept album, with the band once again examining an area of history. One might think that Welsh Mining would be nowhere near as exciting as ‘The Race For Space’, but it turns out it is, and, in my opinion at least, makes for a better album, their best yet. Given the current surge in left-wing politics in this country, this is now a very timely album and one that has resonated with me a lot. One of my great-grandfathers was a miner, albeit not in Wales, so there’s that personal connection too. The mines allowed so many working class people to provide for their families, and that allowed subsequent generations to prosper, leading to my generation of the family being far more middle class and comfortable. When the mines and other industries were gone, I think Britain lost that social mobility, and we need to bring that back. Enough politics though, what about the music? It’s fantastic, with PSB’s familiar excellent musicianship married not only with iconic, memorable samples, but as I said, also with some original singing from some great guest-stars, such as Tracyanne Campbell from Camera Obscura and James Dean Bradfield of The Manic Street Preachers. However I think the best song features singing from the band itself, as J. Willgoose Esq himself duets with Lisa Jen Brown on the heartbreaking ‘You + Me’. That song is just wonderful even outside of the concept. It has extra meaning because of the other songs around it, but can stand alone I think. The same can also be said for the final track, ‘Take Me Home’, which features a resounding chorus from a real Welsh men’s choir. The last few tracks here, after the strikes and after the mines have been shuttered just wreck me. I almost cried when I first heard them. This is just a wonderful album, from a brilliant band that always impress and look to do new things. They could easily be a novelty, gimmick band, but this shows they are so much more.

Books

Not to toot my own horn too much, but sometimes I can be an astute, intuitive motherfucker. Last month, when talking about Moonglow (2016) by Michael Chabon, I wrote that it reminded me a lot of Gravity’s Rainbow. Well, only a few pages later… Chabon brings up that book in the text! That brought a real smile to my face, as did the rest of this novel, as well as a fair few tears. Chabon’s depiction of his grandfather’s life comes together very well, telling a fascinating story about some very interesting people. The revelation of just what Chabon’s grandmother’s secret was blew me away, especially in the rather nonchalant way it was explained. It wasn’t some big bomb-shell (this book has enough literal ones of those!) but a slow unravelling. Like I said, it was emotional, and I can only imagine what it was like for Michael Chabon and his family to discover and for him to write about. This is a very strong book from a brilliant writer, yes, it’s a deeply personal story about his family, but I think the themes brought up are applicable to almost anyone. It certainly made me reflect on my relationships with my parents and particularly my grandparents. All 4 of them are dead now, but I certainly feel like I should speak to my Dad and Aunts and Uncles to get a better sense of where I come from.

I’m currently reading Dorian Lynskey’s 33 Revolutions Per Minute: A History Of Protest Songs (2010), which is, as the title would suggest, a history of protest music throughout the 20th century. Lynskey writes about 33 songs and how they reflected and even formed social change. This is a very interesting read, and in these politically tumultuous times, one that feels very vital, even if it is 7 years old. One thing that I appreciate here is the breadth of songs Lynskey chooses to write about. Some of them are very familiar to me, like ‘Strange Fruit’ or ‘Give Peace A Chance’ and others I’ve never heard of! I’m excited to find out more, and luckily, every song in this book apart from one is on Apple Music, so I’ve been able to compile a playlist so after reading a chapter I can listen to the actual song. I’m currently just getting up to the 1970s, with the next chapter to read being ‘The Revolution Will Not Be Televised’ by Gil Scott-Heron, which is just a classic. Of course, this book is more than just a music book, and instead reflects the changes in Western, particularly American, society. A lot of these early chapters are about Civil Rights, and then Vietnam. From reading the contents, that’s going to evolve into Gay Rights, and feminism, and many other causes. Every chapter teaches me something new, not just about the musicians, but about the protest movements themselves. The only negative thing really is that reading this book has shone a light on the fact that our current political climate is sorely missing any good protest songs. The final chapter in this book is Green Day’s ‘American Idiot’, and that song is nearly 15 years old! I think it’s because the left is so much more cynical nowadays, when we see a song with a ‘message’, we dismiss it as preachy and smug? That’s certainly what I tend to think, but then again, I do like a lot of the songs in this book! I suppose if he did an update Lynskey could write about ‘Oooohhhh, Jeremy Corbyn’ to the tune of Seven Nation Army? That’s about as close as we get these days.

Games

Much to my shame, I have barely had any time for video games this month. I haven’t even touched Zelda! I am a failure to the people of Hyrule. I hope they'll forgive me. I have however still been playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Nintendo Switch) when I have a spare half an hour or so. I’ve been playing it in Hand-Held Mode this time, and it is just so awesome to be playing a hand-held Mario Kart Game with such awesome graphics. I can remember playing the shit out of Mario Kart Super Circuit on the Gameboy Advance, and this is bringing back fond memories… only it’s 100 times better and bigger. One thing that I think is going to increase my playing time going forward is that I’ve just picked up a Switch Carry Case. Now I’ll have nothing to worry about in putting it in my bag and gaming on the go. Now that I have this case, I think I’ll start using the Switch to it’s full potential and perhaps actually get on with Zelda once more.

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So that’s your lot, I hope you enjoyed it. I must admit that even though this was shorter than normal, writing this was a bit like pulling teeth!

Hopefully next month will be easier, especially because Game Of Thrones is back! Oh man, I’m excited for that.

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