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5sosfanfictioncatalogue · 2 years ago

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Luke/Ashton (2) Masterlist

part one

can't find the sound under my tongue (ao3) - lifewasradical M, 13k

Summary: One year, nine months, eighteen days. Luke and Ashton have been attached at the hip for one year, nine months, and eighteen days. Six hundred, fifty six days. Almost twenty two months. One could argue that no, it’s actually been months and years longer than that; but officially, their time together is bound by a date, one solid time where they said yeah, this is it. Despite being this far into a relationship, one punctuated by extended time on the road, living so intertwined, they still don’t live together.

Or, Ashton refuses to move in with Luke. Alternately, a fic inspired by black butterflies and deja vu

Cards Are Dealt - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) E, 100k

Summary: “You wanna… date me?” he asks eventually, when the silence is starting to feel loaded. “I don’t date and even if I did, I definitely wouldn’t be interested in dating you. I’d say no offense, but… full fucking offense.”

Ashton snorts. “Don’t flatter yourself, pumpkin, I have no interest in dating you either. Actually, the thought alone is exhausting and a little nauseating.”

Clenching his jaw, Luke grinds his teeth and shakes his head. “Then what do you want from me?”

“Sex. I already said that.”

A story about wants and expectations branching out and evolving without the knowledge or consent of those they belong to.

Christmas Tree Farm (ao3) - no_clue_who T, 14k

Summary: Ashton walked into the apartment to see Luke pacing around the room, phone on his ear. Ashton waved to him as he slowly closed the door, he watched Luke climb up onto the couch and onto their coffee table. He put his bag down, and took off his coat and scarf, trying to ignore Luke’s conversation with his family.

“Yes mom, I’m going home,” Luke said, stepping down onto the floor again, “Ben and Jack won't have to do everything-” Luke waved to Ashton once he saw him, “Yes mom, I won’t leave them alone to do anything. No, he, he isn’t sick, I won't have to take care of him.”

Ashton walked into their kitchen and grabbed something, trying to remember who Luke would have taken care of. He turned around and saw Luke back on the table, one hand gesturing wildly.

“No mom I can’t,” Luke stopped talking and looked at Ashton, “He might be going away!”

Come Thru (ao3) - bitchnluke E, 10k

Summary: Luke was used to being a playboy bunny, and he loved the pampered life of a playboy bunny. So yeah, you could say he was a spoilt brat. One day, his daddy tells him he is no longer his daddy, and that he has a new one. That his new daddy was the CEO of playboy bunny, which happened to be the owners nephew, Ashton Irwin. His old daddy tells him to go make Ashton loosen up and have fun.

flowers in your hair (boys can't be pretty) (ao3) - prettyluke (parting_ways) N/R, 71k

Summary: Ashton has been in love with the pretty boy next door since he was seven. Luke has called Ashton home since he was five. They grew up with the daisy field behind their houses, but nobody told them that they couldn't love anywhere else.

home is wherever you are tonight (ao3) - lifewasradical M, 72k

Summary: Life has become so mundane in the past few years that there’s very little that sends a thrill up Luke’s spine anymore. It’s that idea that had him saying yes to the idea of moving out here for a few weeks anyways: the knowledge that this was a completely new place where no one knew his name. He could be anyone he wanted to be here, within reason. He wouldn’t be seeing any of these people again after May, so what’s the harm in becoming a new person for a bit? Someone not so bogged down by the shit in their head that they can’t get out of bed some mornings. Maybe this is a step in the direction of the person Luke wants to be in the future anyways.

Or, Luke inherits a beach house on a tiny coastal island that needs some work. He didn’t plan on falling in love with the guy at the hardware store.

I Bet You Think About Me (ao3) - warmstableplace M, 5k

Summary: After divorcing his husband of nearly five years, Luke is single for the first time since he was eighteen. To celebrate his divorce being finalized, his best friend Michael takes him out to a bar where he gets drunk and spills everything to a cute stranger. Awkwardness ensues. Luke learns how to heal.

If Walls Could Talk (ao3) - boomerluke M, 43k

Summary: "Ashton, when a person tells you that you hurt them you don't get to decide that you didn't."

Or the one where Luke and Ashton are friends with benefits, but Luke wants more and Ashton isn't gay.

morphine lover, make me numb (ao3) - swiefts E, 15k

Summary: He knew what the ancients said about the butterflies but right now there were planets colliding with one another inside his stomach, inevitably exploding. Feeding him with irrevocable lust. Crushing his bones and stealing his oxygen.

That’s what Luke does to him.

Maybe Ashton’s not a derailed comet. Maybe he’s a fucking shooting star, because he was falling. Falling for Luke.

Or the one where Luke is maybe more than just Ashton's fuck buddy. And Ashton may be falling for him.

Risky Risqué - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) E, 22k

Summary: It's only his freshman year in college and Luke is having too many problems. One, he can barely afford to feed himself. Two, the junior in the dorm next door has way too pretty hazel eyes and keeps offering to make him dinner.

Or, the one where Luke needs a job to pay his tuition and ends up getting one as a phone sex operator.

Shameless (ao3) - HeartnArrow N/R, 39k

Summary: Luke is captain of the hockey team, one of the most popular guys in school along with calum hood, came out as gay last year. ashton is a nerd who gets straight a’s and has yet to have his first kiss at the age of 17. michael is his best friend who isn't really a nerd but has known ashton since preschool. ashton has always watched luke from afar, admiring him at the hockey games and in the hallways. he’s had a crush on him since freshman year but luke doesn't even know his name.

or Luke was looking for a fuck buddy while Ashton was looking for love.

Souvenir (ao3) - Honeyedlashton E, 43k

Summary: In the close-knit town of Brightwich, New York, everyone follows the same morning routine every day. Wake up, wave to the neighbor, and maybe grab breakfast at the town’s favorite diner. But today it’s different. Today, The preacher’s son, Luke, discovers a something new. Today there’s a stranger in town.

But when he actually talks to Ashton, Luke sees more companionship in this James-Dean-wannabe than what everyone else would probably like. And when trying to get Ashton in touch with the joy of familiarity in the little town’s everyday life, Luke starts to enjoy the promise of adventure and mystery surrounding Ashton a little more than he ought.

spread your wings for me (ao3) - cashcakeplz N/R, 32k

Summary: Or the one where Ashton likes to watch Luke pray, and Luke is more than happy to serve the bad boy of the school.

starboy (ao3) - orphan_account E, 79k

Summary: Ashton is quite miserable, so when his friends take him on vacation to cure him of his sorrows, the universe sends him a star made of innocence that is meant to be ruined.

Tie That Binds - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) E, 98k

Summary: In which Luke wants to explore miscellaneous kinks and Ashton strikes him as a good candidate to do said exploring with with.

Tis' The Damn Season (ao3) - beendreaminglikeafool E, 13k

Summary: Luke felt he was walking on a wire that got thinner and weaker the longer he tried to balance himself, only to be pulled down by heavy gravity and land on the cold ground with nothing but wounds that never healed, no matter how long he tried or waited.

The passage of time was all a haze of bright lights and blurry colors but Luke just accepted it, all he was was an ash from the fire that burned too bright.

or: Luke decides to spent the holidays with Calum and Michael while trying to get over Ashton.

when did the diamonds leave your bones (ao3) - orphan_account E, 41k

Summary: It should be embarrassing, the way Ashton’s looking at him right now, but it’s much better than the last one he gave him; one of pure hurt, like he could never be forgiven for what he’d done. If Ashton still hates him—if he ever did, and Luke suspects he might have—he’s at the very least not letting it show.

“Do you want—something?” Luke asks, gesturing behind himself towards the kitchen, but he’s not entirely sure if that’s what he’s asking.

“Can I stay here for a few days?”

(or, eighteen months into an indefinite hiatus, Ashton shows up on Luke's doorstep and moves into his spare room.)

Where the Heart Is (ao3) - LyricalPary (hoseoky) E, 86k

Summary: By the time that Ashton Irwin is twenty-seven years old, he's already a widower and a father of three. After his third nanny quits on him, he comes to the conclusion that life in general doesn't seem to like him very much—that is, until his luck turns around when he discovers a particular nanny by the name of Luke H.

The question now is, can a twenty-two year old man with mile-long legs and a smile made of gold really be the super nanny that Ashton needs?

Perhaps so.

White Noise (ao3) - merlypops E, 7k

Summary: Luke and Ashton have massive crushes on each other, Ashton throws a party, and all of Luke's dreams come true. (Maybe they're a tiny bit in love too. Maybe.)

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #5sos #5sos fanfic #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #lashton #lashton masterlist #masterlists

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fandomfluffandfuck · 3 years ago

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I’d love for actual play bunny Stevie, like CEO Bucky having a meeting at a Bunny palace or something dumb like that. And Steve is their server for them, just a dumb big blond happily hoping to their table with their drinks on a platter.

I think twunk/buff subby Stevie would fit the best.

original playboy bunny Steve drabble

To be real, I don't know shit about Playboy or Hugh Hefner because that was before my time of porn 💀 (I do appreciate having always had the internet for porn and other wonderful things thank you very much lmao) so when you say "Bunny Palace" with Steve as a server I'm just picturing a Maid Cafè but with servers in playboy bunny outfits, not maid outfits lol. A bunny cafè. So if that's not what you mean... oops?

Anyway, explanation for this blurb aside-

Yes.

Pretty, pretty playboy bunny Stevie sashaying about the cafè between the tables and the counter as he delivers drinks, and/or pastries, finger-food, snacks, etc. to all the seated customers. If you catch him in a particularly playful mood, well, then he might really be hoping. (If he's in a playful mood and it's afterhours... well, then, he might make that tail bounce by wiggling his ass and thighs 🤤 if you ask and tip nicely 😏)

And, goddamn, bunny Steve is definitely two things 1) a t w u n k and 2) very subby. He is shaped like no one else at the cafè (because, yeah, a hell of a lot of their bunnies are women but also because the other men are petite little things, full twinks not twunks). And his poor body suit strains around his chest because of his pecs (his tits more like, thanks to the underbust corset he wears pushing them up until they almost fall out of his bodysuit) but also because of his shoulders and back. He's all muscle, yet somehow... he's also got this tiny, tiny waist like the little, willowy twinks that are the other masc bunnies despite the fact that he's so much bigger. A big chest and tiny waist and, God, this round, pretty ass that looks just about like it belongs in a museum as he struts around the cafè, held up even higher and rounder because of those shiny black heels. Plus, his ass, of course, has that little white cotton tail right at the top of it. And all of that doesn't even mention those thick thighs, Jesus wept, wrapped up in sheer black tights that only make Bucky want to feel his bare skin that much more. Thick with muscle and also some extra padding.

There is nothing prettier than bunny Steve.

And Steve, of course, also has that pretty blonde hair that's assessorized with his bunny ears. They're cute ears that always match the color of his body suit, real long and floppy. Steve has those big blue eyes too, always sparkling and somehow always staring up at Bucky through his eyelashes even though when in heels, Steve is taller than Bucky. Steve's hands also speak to how not little his is, large hands that are relatively square and thick but made so much more delicate and pretty by those suit cuffs, the same with his neck, made even more lengthy and elegant looking with the collar...

God, he is breathtaking. Everytime Bucky walks into the cafė before work or after, maybe even during his lunch break if he can get away from "all that stuffy CEO work" (Steve's words)...

Anyhow-

Pretty much all of the time at the cafè Steve is in the classic black bunny suit but sometimes the cafè mixes things up... Valentine's Day means either red or pink body suits. Christmas means ice blue. Halloween is body suits that have spooky patterns or different costumes (always the "slutty" version of the costumes though because they know what their brand is haha). Although, the ice blue body suit is Bucky's favorite by far; the color makes Steve's eyes and freckles on his pale skin stand out, even if Steve shyly complains that blue makes him look like Cinderella.

A blue dress and clear white heels. Yellow hair with high cheeks and long lashes.

That makes Bucky laugh, joking that he'd love to take him to the ball then, promising to bring him back with both of his slippers... so Steve can't be too sore at him 💀

Besides, Steve is beginning to believe that Bucky really is his Prince Charming. His Prince Charming that takes his before and after work time as well as his lunch breaks to spend time with him, tipping him out to ensure that Steve makes ends meet and then some.

Now, normally the customers aren't allowed to touch the servers (especially if they haven't asked) but Steve's given Bucky explicit permission to do so multiple times

And he always looks forward to when Bucky does touch him.

Blushing and giggling whenever the other man is on his way out, laying down an extra large tip for his favorite server, in cash, on his usual table then standing to slide an arm around Steve's waist, squeezing his little middle, and kissing his cheek. Steve always leans into the kiss and bumps their hips together, barely able to contain his huge, happy smile. He isn't just fishing for tips when he tells Bucky that he is his favorite customer.

Bucky is quickly becoming more than his favorite customer too 👀

(Also later... when they do start dating... Bucky might fuck up Steve in the work bathroom - still visiting him during the day, even though they see each other after work too, Steve coming home to Buckys extravagant home - with a hand clapped over his mouth to silence his whore-ish moans. Bucky is torturing pleasuring him by pulling the strap of his body suit to the side to finger him, thrusting three thick, long fingers into his little, tight pussy until his clenching around him and practically squirting the lube Bucky's shoved into his body with his fingers out. Messy and dripping with it. A second away from orgasming, only stopped by Bucky's non-permission and his hand over his mouth. Steve's lungs are burning. Steve's cock is aching, throbbing. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts- he wants to cum so fucking bad. Blinking back tears, shaking so badly in his heels, barely holding himself back even. He can't help it. He wants to fucking cum. And Bucky will let him, once he gets his bunny's eyes to roll back into his skull a little more and start quaking just a little harder, begging with pathetic little sounds because words are too hard and he is entirely desperate.

But if Bucky does fuck Steve up in the work backroom-? No one will ever be able to confirm it. Bucky knows for sure. Because he's always careful to not leave any marks on his bunny, no matter how bad he wants to bite and lick and taste him. Claim him. And he's also very, very good about cleaning his bunny up plus rewarding him, letting him know that, hey, you get through this shift, this day, and you'll come home to get to do whatever you want to Daddy. You wanna get Daddy's dick in that pretty pussy? Okay, sure thing, bun. You wanna suck Daddy's dick, gag on it and choke? Okay, go for it. Anything you want bunny, name it and its done, so long as you make it through this...)

Uhh, yeah, anyway, you're welcome 👀

#asks #steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #fandomfluffandfuck #stevebucky #playboy bunny steve #ceo bucky

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kunxcii · 5 years ago

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nct social media au favorites / recommendations pt 2

click here for pt 1! this has been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks so i decided to finally finish it up and post it so that all of u socially responsible people staying home will have something to binge. listed in the order i read them but also sorted by member in age order. asterisk (*) = favs. (ongoing!) = incomplete at the time i posted this. (neutral ending) = if u care that ending may not be happy or yn x member may not end up together, sorry if i spoiled it.

had to search pretty far and wide for these so i doubt there will be a pt 3 - also i’m currently on a cdrama/cvariety fix lol. as usual, be my friend! (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

✰ multiple paths / mystery member ✰

friendship (multi: jaehyun, johnny, lucas) by jxngolas

all i need (ongoing!) by peachysicheng

✰ taeil ✰ (none)

✰ johnny ✰

streak breaker by softtm (neutral ending)

i’m so in love by romanticwyh

✰ taeyong ✰

*muse by jenoptimist

cloud 9 by bunny-doyounq

angel by sugaaasweet

is he an angel or a devil? by asteriaguk

fool by yongtxt

✰ yuta ✰

doctor, doctor by jaeculturetechnology

yes chef by butterbeeryuta

laces and things by butterbeeryuta

coming home by cupofjae

pâro (ongoing!) by jenoptimist

let me love u (ongoing!) by bunny-doyounq

airdrop (ongoing!) by taehunnies

✰ kun ✰

talking to the moon by dearncityy

not alone (ongoing!) by cupofjae

✰ doyoung ✰

*don’t need your love by cupofjae

*sanctuary by bunny-doyounq

anti by softtm

dear no one by dearncityy

sunflower by jaeehyuns

forced by radianthyuck (can’t find last chapter anywhere)

*where u at? (on hold) by suhdone

✰ ten ✰

collaboration by onflowerpaths

✰ jaehyun ✰

*tongue tied by peachysicheng

the breakfast club by kkuljaehyun

fly away with me by cupofjae

welcome to my playground by cupofjae

deep water by nakyngs (was bitchendery)

*balance of us by solecize

young elites by markeu-lii

hericane by weishenv

breathless by peachyuns

the games you play by fluffyjenope

through the night by jaeehyuns (neutral ending)

pretty reckless by yukhheis (neutral ending)

roller skates by hhjwrld

the beauty within (ongoing!) by justwinwin

end to start (ongoing!) by bunny-doyounq

✰ winwin ✰

different skies by dearncityy

✰ jungwoo ✰

5:05 by jaeehyuns

la vie en rose by haechanhearts

✰ lucas ✰

playboy by nakyngs (was bitchendery)

unrequited love by textingwithnct

*do you think about me too? by byunnct

you & i by leejenopes (some links don’t work, scroll on blog)

slam (ongoing!) by wereseoyoung

keep yourself alive (ongoing!) by sushi-xuxii

the librarian (ongoing!) by princekunge

✰ mark ✰

game over by jenoptimist

connected by treerachas

mona lisa by weishenv

*unexspected by hyucksupremacist (neutral ending, i shed tears tho it was so good) (some links may not work so you’ll have to search on the blog or replace hyuckcryptid with hyucksupremacist)

*game over by kettlewrites

easy as pie by nctzen-mess

*yours by wereseoyoung

flickering by fluffyjenope

*vintage by yongtxt

how to get the boy (ongoing?/ neutral ending) by yojeongin

clueless (coming soon) by chicagoletters (suhdone remade)

✰ xiaojun ✰

*the muse by princekunge

*just before sunrise by nakyngs (was bitchendery)

2 fast by markftmingi

play pretend (ongoing!) by dreamingxuxi

✰ hendery ✰

rags & riches by markftmingi

*love talk by jxngolas

✰ renjun ✰

replay 1:27pm by jxngolas

celebrity crush by ncttrinities

art tour ltd. by ncttrinities

coffee & water paints by kettlewrites

catfished! by heartjwi-main

love maze by aiurjins

wistful by treerachas

youtuber!renjun by poutyjwoo

*the one where renjun gets kissed by ncttrinities

*the rich truth: away we happened (ongoing!) by ncttrinities

history is a bench (ongoing!) by butterbeeryuta

✰ jeno ✰

more than friends by nakyngs (was bitchendery)

love club by nakyngs (was bitchendery)

badlands by poutyjwoo

our first and last dance by tinybinnie

reckless behavior by fentyyoons (unmarked tw ch 28-29)

habits by nanaluvie (neutral ending)

adore u by hhjwrld

119 (ongoing!) by ncttrinities

dear you, (ongoing!) by matterhalos

✰ haechan ✰

*heartbreaker by jxngolas

to him by nakyngs (was bitchendery)

my page by lysyuta

stoned by haechanhearts

remember me by seofthours

rewind by heartjwi-main

sunflower by softtm

sweet revenge by starsuhh

fingers crossed by treerachas (some links may not work so search on blog)

summer of ‘69 (ongoing!) by radianthyuck

place your bets (ongoing!) by hyukcieee

✰ jaemin ✰

puzzle by nationaldoyoungday

what family says, goes by hyukcieee

timeless by lysyuta

put me on by hyucksupremacist (some links may not work so you’ll have to search on the blog or replace hyuckcryptid with hyucksupremacist)

what i hate like about you by kettlewrites

*ferris wheel by yedarnit

what i like about you by neomrk

money talk by tinybinnie

a tail worth telling by rosehyck

playing the part by nctzen-mess

*my first and last by jxngolas (sequel to heartbreaker)

falling, hard by fentyyoons

*dead lover’s society by atrabiliousse

fashion friends by xiaocity

twelve days of christmas by lovieskihyun

✰ yangyang ✰

siren by dearncityy

the lab partner by princekunge

let me love you (ongoing!) by jxngolas

✰ chenle ✰

i’m so bad for you by neomrk

*turf war by hyucksupremacist

✰ jisung ✰

flower cafe by poutyjwoo

by my side by nctzen-mess

*my first and last by lysyuta

why not me, the dancer by heartjwi-main (some links link to wrong ch, search on blog)

hieraeth by heartjwi-main (sequel to why not me, the dancer) (some links link to wrong ch, search on blog)

along the lines of (ongoing!) by heartjwi

✰ non-nct ✰ (mostly from authors whose nct work i’ve read)

*bad guy ft. pentagon yanan by markftmingi

*crush culture ft. stray kids hyunjin by nakyngs (was bitchendery)

*somebody else ft. ateez yunho by nakyngs (was bitchendery)

*money talks ft. seventeen jun by dahyunminggyu

*big reputation ft. nine percent xukun by dahyunminggyu

plot twists ft. stray kids bang chan by desertskz

*do re mi ft. bts jungkook by taeyegu

l.c.t ft. bts jungkook by peachyuns

*bad at love ft. seventeen wonwoo by sankyeom

online ft. stray kids hyunjin by hhjwrld

find my iphone ft. bts yoongi by ediblesuga

*stay and cook ft. bts jungkook by firebettercallnct

*press start ft. bts jungkook by lovelyyyoongi

*keep it fruity ft. seventeen maknae line by cupidhaos

honeysuckles and dewdrops ft. stray kids hyunjin (ongoing!) by strawberryjmilk

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jamaiskookie · 4 years ago

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bangtan headcanon: OT7 IN HIGH SCHOOL 📓✂️

☞ genre; fluff, crack

☞ warnings; excessively stupid

masterlist u wanna talk to highschool!bangtan?

《KIM SEOKJIN》

class clown

always manages to sneak kimbap in class, and stuffs his face despite being in the front row.

he’s alarmingly good at sneaking food into places.

cafeteria ladies love jin so much.

and every christmas he brings in his perfected sugar cookies and never shares them.

(he’s in the cooking club)

((he’s the only one in the cooking club))

will interrupt the teacher to make a bad joke.

“yes so helium is the fo- oh yes seokjin?“

“i was reading an excellent book about helium, i couldn’t put it down!! ahHAHAHHYUKHYUKAHHAHAHHA“

nobody’s?? really sure?? if he’s dating namjoon or not?? it’s the schools biggest mystery, there’s currently a betting pool going on worth about $500

likes to annoy namjoon and yoongi about holding bake sales.

is surprisingly good at planning parties?? but never hosts them?? hoseok always gets him to plan his parties and he even planned prom!!

he’s particularly proud with the theme he came up with.

‘zombie meets elegance‘

it was actually pretty nicely pulled off (much to the shock of the entire student body)

《MIN YOONGI》

student council president

takes his job very!! seriously!!

fights with the principal on funding daily.

doesn’t come to school without coffee and resting bitch face.

even the teachers are afraid of this short little emo boy.

is the only one who actually wears the school uniform properly with the little tie and jacket because that’s how you show school spirit.

definitely that closeted gay in high school who thinks nobody knows about his homosexuality when in fact, everyone knows.

(nobody has the guts to bring it up to him though)

“hyung why are you staring at jimin’s as-“

“-NO WHY GET BACK TO WORK”

actually enjoys doing morning announcements.

“make sure to check out jin’s dumb bake sale i think he’s selling brownies for some charitable reason anYWAYS time for min’s advice column!!“

min’s advice column is yoongi’s free therapy. namjoon suggested adding an advice column to the school paper so now yoongi just judges his classmates’s decisions gives subpar advice.

“i personally think you have no chance with this girl, but you’re clearly hell bent on asking her out. it’s a dumb choice. good luck.“

《JUNG HOSEOK》

fuckboy

throws obnoxious parties at his parent’s huge ass mansion.

somehow?? is?? the nicest? playboy??? evER??

will respect your girl’s boundaries but also would 300% hit on her when you’re not looking.

aftercare king wILL cuddle with you and help you clean up or whatever until jimin eventually comes in screaming.

his school id says “hobi 💦👅” ... noone knows how he managed to do it (taehyung thinks he seduced the secretary)

surprisingly good at romance even though he deTests dating

“it’s a waste of time, money, and ass.“ “- what?”

gives everyone dating advice whether they want it or nOt- he lives his *shhh very secret* romantic fantasies through his best friends.

once helped taehyung ask out his girlfriend... they’re still going strong!!

defo has daddy issues that he never talks about,, maybe if a girl finds it sexc™️ in that kind of messed-up-bad-boy-she-could-fix vibe he’ll bring it up

kinda failing science lmao he probably needs a tutor.. but will never admit he needs a tutor for sake of his pride.

most definitely has had sex in the janitor’s closet a couple times, up until yoongi caught him once, reported him to the school board and got him suspended... for a month.

(yoongi has no regrets, that was the best month of his life.)

《KIM NAMJOON》

student vice president

honestly would probably be the council president and is the most qualified for it but can’t be bothered.

plus he hates public speaking and the president has to speak at assemblies.

genuinely enjoys learning!! bUT HATES GROUP PROJECTS

because every single fucking time taehyung and jimin pester him about teaming up and he ends up doing like 75% of the work.

not because anyone forces him to or anything.

it’s because jimin and tae are such dumbasses every time they finish their work namjoon has a sudden uRGE TO REDO ALL OF IT BC THEY GOT IT WRONG.

tries to take all AP subjects.

gives up and drops half of them by the second semester.

great student but also will “no yoongi i don’t want to fucking play basketball i've been awake for thirty hours trying to finish this goddamn essay that’s due tomorrow. wHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY DIDN’T I DO IT EARLIER I WAS BUSY TAKING CARE OF MY BONSAI TREES.“

started the school paper!! it’s called “persona post”

writes about actual relevant things like political events and global problems, but everyone else just writes about school gossip *sigh*

although that one column examining hobi’s sex and dating life was a pretty fun piece of writing to read through.

he sits in the back of the classroom and never raises his hand even though he knows the answer like 95% of the time.

definitely has a crush on seokjin

《PARK JIMIN》

the one everyone has a crush on

and when i say everyone i mean everyone, even hoseok has had a crisis over park jimin.

(jungkook is definitely president of his fan club) ((in case it wasn’t clear, he’s dating jungkook))

school’s golden boy, basically gets away with everything with a bat of an eye... and the most infuriating thing is he doesn’t even realise it.

“omg jimin!! you’re so cute!! this shirt looks sO good on you, can i touCH?” “omg thank you i didn’t think it fit well because it’s my boyfriends but that’s so sweet!!” “boy... hm?”

mom friend: sweetest bitch alive and is always worrying about his friends but everyone knows he’s secretly really fucking kinky.

(again, jungkook has no comment)

the kind of person who celebrates christmas in june.

literally- he starts putting decorations in his locker and around the school mid june. by november, he’s wearing reindeer ears to school.

*lowkey kind of a nerd* genuinely enjoys studying with namjoon.

“well, studying with anybody else is just too stressful!! plus, namjoon’s so chill. he doesn’t look like it but he actually is super sweet and nice!!!“

“... please take those reindeer ears off, it’s embarrassing.“

half of the school would probably cut off an arm to sleep with him. seriously, he gets offers like everYDAY it’s kinda getting tiRING

is considering starting a youtube channel where he just takes videos of all the dogs and babies he meets throughout the day.

“idk i think vlogging would be fun“

《KIM TAEHYUNG》

art hoe

nEVER FUCKING STUDIES OR PAYS ATTENTION BUT GETS DECENT GRADES.

the definition of bisexual mess, WILL trip when he sees hot people.

exclusively wears wired gold glasses and soft neutral sweaters to school. if it’s a good day he’ll wear a beanie. on special occasions he’ll maybe throw in some fUN loafers.

dyes his hair to match ~the vibes~ of that season. the most recent wild hair colour is cool toned teal.

jungkook said he looks like leprechaun shit, but tae really likes it.

tried to go vegan countless times, failed each and every one when he passed by a mc donalds.

carries his sketchbook wherever he goes. he has that thing around 24/7, 100% would not be surprised if he slept with it under his pillow.

really quiet until he has a point to make;; like that time where he launched into a three hour screaming lecture on how phineas and ferb is an animated masterpiece.

drinks tea purely for the aesthetic of it.

goes to hipster coffee shops to pretend to study... ends up watching barbie movies and critiquing them on the writing blog that he thinks nobody knows about.

watches anime in class (he recently rewatched all of ATLA for the third time,, failed his econ class but worth it!!1!!1)

《JEON JUNGKOOK》

preppy jock

once again, everyone is attracted to him, but he’s so whipped for jimin everyone’s crush fades away once they talk to him because-

“oh it’s so cool that you have a dog!! you know, i think jimin kind of looks like a pomeranian sometimes it’s sO CUTE- hm? oh jimin’s my boyfriend.“

... it’s disgustingly adorable.

plays almost every sport and is somehow always the team captain. not out of obligation or with leadership skills or anything, everyone else just votes for him.

mess with his friends and he’ll put a stink bomb in your locker.

his nickname is “golden baby” because he’s good at everything, teachers love him so much.

grades? sTELLAR. sports? he’s done them ALL. creativity? pAINTED THE SCHOOL MURAL. service? volunteers at a pet shelter whenever he can (the bunnies love him for some reason)

everyone either is

a) in love w him, wants to fuck

b) jealous of him but is also secretly gay for him

pretends to not know how talented and cool he is and plays it off super cool

proceeds to fail, the only thing he’s bad at is humble bragging.

“wow omg lol i got a 100 on my bio test and yesterday i got a hole in one in golf, my first time playing it but it’s chill i guess hahhah day in my life amirite.“

**this headcanon is the start of the bangtan school series, stay tuned**

wanna be tagged in school series or my writing? here or send me an ask

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blackmuzak8484 · 4 years ago

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nortey dowuona’s best of 2020

to be completely honest, I decided to do this entirely for TSJ. otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered at all. Best end lists are for music nerds and billboard chart nerds and industry vultures, and i happen to be subscribed, in the discord and in the comments of the youtube vids of these folk. so, i decided to pick 10 out of random from the big best of 2020 i was compiling for the whole of the year, which I was gonna post to this Tumblr at the end of the damn year, but I guess I can just post the link to the playlist in the bottom of this post. Here, i’m gonna write about 10 songs I personally love, and pick out a few artists i specifically loved:

artist of the year.

RAP Ferreira put out his best album and best verses in a year everybody either stagnated, fell off or got rendered irrelevant by the world at large. He was ebullient, hilarious, thoughtful and even surprisingly honest. I enjoyed the fact that now he’s begun to create a real platform for many talented folx, and I hope he continues to do that in the margins and make even more beautiful music in the years to come.

rookie of the year.

Enny by a mile. Everybody else who debuted this year got hamstrung by the pandemic but she created 3 great songs, each thoughtful, insightful and a joy. Apparently she just started publicly releasing music to a large audience, and I hope she gets better and better, and even gets bigger than J-

most pleasant surprise.

Vic Mensa’s V Tape. An artist who I though had no more moves left completely turned around his whole career with a fantastic performance at Lollapalooza, a fantastic fleet of features and tis gorgeously produced EP which had some of his most brilliant songs on it. I love it all, Vic Mensah is well and truly back. Welcome back bro. (ALSO, DROP THE DRILL TRACK.)

GREAT THING A GHANAIAN ARTIST DID.

Strongman Burner, Amarae, Okunta Kinte, Vic Mensah in general.

cool things my friends and classmates did.

Justine Darcenne’s #4TheBaeless. Valencia Rae’s Siren thyhomebodies’s Coming of Age. (Phil, a producer in the group, made his own studio!) Brad built his own computer. petit abri put a track on APT9 Record’s compiliation album Volume II. khaalid anderson’s transitions. (khaalid will also be performing at Beats & Brunch on January 23, 2021 at 11 am.) Yannick Paul’s Bear Fruit. The Big Climax’s This Is Ya Boy kxng jetson’s Waves (ft. Kokko Williams & Mike Mezzl) Nicole Gonzalez performed in The Composer’s Melody. Victoria Marie released a bunch of beaufiful covers on her Insta, @toriiii_marie @ph0ssy_jaw works as a counselor online. Pay her at her PayPal. Johnny Aperano Yoba was on People AND Vogue. Dalitso is a wonderful pianist at his church back home in Zambia. Kobina is a fantastic drummer at his church. Kayla graduated with a BS in Music Technology and Industry! Damian been cookin on his insta. Travis graduated! (Look out for Clan of Dragons.) Rorghino Flores made a documentary! Francis (and Animax FYB) put out Mmofra on AmaLexPrime! (play it with yo kids.) A Hype has been dropping crazy all year, roll by his SoundCloud and check out Persistence Of Memory. Reina H been doing great covers on her Insta, @challenges_inlife. Hannah placed music on C. B. S.

best albums of the year (that nobody’s written about).

Maya Huyana -1991 DaWeirdo - Broke and Ugly $ilkMoney - Attack of the Future Shocked, Flesh Covered, Meatbags of the 85 VI Seconds - Because Why Not/Never Knows Best Erik Cain - Heart & Soul Vol. 2 Dimitri & the Scarecrow - Messenger is Sender (from 2015, finally got released onto streaming this year, still pretty great and another great Zimbabwean rapper for us to all fawn over, just like billy woods) Flowking Stone - Gifted 1 The Hoodies - Incommunicado Jayy Grams - Every Gram Counts Domo Genesis/Mike and Keys - Just in Case1/2 Madwiz - God’s Gold Teeth Maez301 - Hasaan Daara J Family - Yaamatele Dai Burger - Dessert EP TeePhlow - Road To Phlowducation II Tef Poe/Blvck Spade - Preacher in the Trap Terrell Hines - Portal One: The Mixtape redveil - niagara Nyukyung - Trap Harmonix AdrianXpression - Sucka Deante Hitchcock - Better (Deluxe) maassai & jWords - ve.loc.i.ty tobe nwigwe - cincoriginals everything Kelsey Lu did this year.

strangest things happening in music in general.

vic mensah actually making a great record. goldlink going through a narcissistic collapse and winding up making the best music of his career. redveil blowing up off Fantano calling him wack. pharoahe monch finally making a rock pivot and it actually works. meet me@the garden coming 10 years too late for my 14 year old self. RAP Ferreira being in the NYTimes, selling a vinyl record for $72, creating an actual nostrum grocers in a video game so we can listen to his next record. The entirety of the playboi carti phenomenom. The entirety of the lil uzi vert phenomenom. The entirety of Chance’s instagram EP being far more money worthy then the entirety of the Big Day and yet being released on Insta and not immediately monetized. Deante Hitchcock releasing a great album and being completely forgotten armand hammer releasing their underground kings wayyy too early. my ass continually not actually looking into amapiano despite always loving it when I review it. several good songs needing to be tacked on to a prior youtube vid as an ad for me to find them instead of actually listening to the artists. santan dave still releasing good verses after he made his illmatic. (expect his new album to suck.) slowthai becoming cake. (we let that go way too far.) Guapdad and BfB Packman being wonderful. Finding out BfB PAckman is a better rapper than Sada Baby. John Boyega putting on Ego Ella May. Having to admit Young Dolph was good all this time and i missed out like a fool.

best tv performance.

Chance The Rapper’s “A Chi-Town Christmas.” IDK’s “Change The Channel.” Sa-Roc’s Tiny Desk Concert. Chika in general. Robert Glapser’s “This Changes Everything (ft. Denzel Curry).” SZA at the Roots Picnic. Sampa The Great at the Roots Picnic. RAP Ferreira in general. Umi’s “Introspection Live Show.” Alexa Esperanza’s cover of “Is It A Crime.” Bad Bunny in general. the jwords, nappy nina and MIKE performances at Satellite Syndicate

most embarrassing piece of music i love with all my heart

Logic’s No Pressure. In all sense of the words I should not love this album like I love my siblings but I do. It is beautiful.

best 10 songs of this year objectively

1 - RAP Ferriera - An Idea Is A Work Of Art (ft. Mike Ladd) [prod. by Kenny Segal, mr. carmack and Mike Parvizi]

I know, I know. In all honesty Doldrums should be here. Then Noz put it on his best list and I had to be all ChiTown Go-Getter and pick the next better thing: this. And in all honesty, it has the best lyric RAP spits on the album: “we build better answers.” But it’s not just that, it’s RAP’s most animated performance, the most dexterous piece on the whole album and the most gorgeous beat, a loping bassline sliding behind the flatfooted drum, allowing Mike Ladd, his musical father, to gently drift through, saying, “what if royalty depised us?” and knowing the only gold is soul and giving it to all of us, all us maggots and vultures and locusts and weevils, to hold to the light so we can finally see. On the quest to get open and free, we continue.

2 - Chika - U Should [prod. by Lido]

I heard this the night it dropped and shot 2 insta videos playacting as it played. But apart from that, it’s a intimate, beautiful song about getting to know a new lady love, so tenderly sung it might melt and disappear if not held gently, with a sweeping guitar lick and purring trumpets sliding all over the place, Chika softly holding each frayed piece together into a considered, gorgeous piece - wait, she’s talking her shit.

3 - Issa Gold - Boys Don’t Cry [prod. by Kingjet & Sherwyn and Matt Zara]

The only reason this isn’t number one is because it dropped on Christmas Eve. But otherwise, it’s a openheart letter to us all. “it’s a lonely path being different,” Issa says, swimming in the melted ice caps as he once danced happily on the edges of melting glaciers that failed to drown him, looking at the world that keeps hurting his heart, yet he still opens his eyes and smiles, and dances. The heavy drums are so bouncy the whole song suddenly flies, formerly a hidden murmur becoming a bright sunlit flight across the sky so we can all see. I can’t wait to see Tempus, if it’s anything as good as this was.

4 - Deante Hitchcock - Growing Up/Mother God [prod. by Brandon Phillips-Taylor]

In all honesty, “Growing Up” is really not the best song on Better. It’s a sweet, happy song with a smooth, crackling bassline with soft, ghostly synths, but still kinda ok. It’s the song added at the end, “Mother God”, that has warm, sizzling piano chords and gorgeous singing in the back. It’s one of the few time I’ve ever heard a man pay homage to the woman in his life and to the God above while being entirely sincere and not faking the funk. The way he praises his mom, his lady, remembering the women in his family taking care of him and him foolishly neglecting Breonna due to his overburdened mind feels full of details, remembrances, explanations and praises. Plus, it actually makes sense that God, if she exists (she does) is a woman since -

5 - Yana Perrault - whiskey and weed [prod. by slate]

Apparently, Yana Perrault is verified now. Excellent. {YES YES MY GOD YESS}, It means more folks know about how great this song, and Yana herself is. If I had any sense, I would’ve written up 12:21 as the best song of 2018, but such is life. Anyway, we have this smooth, bass heavy slinker with shimmering percussion and lumbering drums about hooking up with a former flame who’s “sober” yet keeps on calling Yana to break their sobriety, “know we ain’t talked in a while but you still know my address,” she wryly mentions. As the beat sprints away under a warm cocoon of accapella echoes, it mirrors a relationship so tenuous it might disappear into the wind. Yet still strong enough to have whiskey on call.

6 - Marlon Craft - Culture Sick Freestyle [prod. by Cormill]

Apparently this was supposed to be a shot at Flex. And since Flex is a woman beater and a lame, good for him. Shouldn’t have even gone on Flex to be honest, but then again neither should Jay Critch or Tyler or Black Thought and besides, I watch those freestyles too. And on the freestyle, Marlon frankly put things in perspective. “You don’t want us to better, you just want to be cool still.” This describes all of rap media to be real. And tellingly, it only has 310,000 views. Methinks nobody really wants real. But I do. Thank u Marlon, you continue to be the best white rapper alive. (Nowhere near the best rapper tho, and if Token hadn’t fell off -)

7 - Miah - Cascades [prod. by Cedes]

I’m sideeyeing the boy Miah cuz I had to search up his Audiomack to find the producer’s name (it’s Cedes, and they have a really great avalanche of Drake Type Beats is you like that kind of thing). Were you trying to trick folk into thinking you produced it yourself? You don’t need to do that shit. Especially since you’re writing stuff like “back in high school all my peers were tryin to hit the league / until the league too far from reach so they tap dancing over beats.” When you can frankly break down life that clearly, don’t be trying to hide producer’s names unless you actually learn to produce too. Plaster your name all over that shit.

8 - Justine Darcenne - Off Days [prod. by Mikhail Miller] / Enny - Peng Black Girls (ft. Amia Brave [prod. by Paya]

Justine is indeed my classmate, but that’s not why this song is here. it’s here because it’s a nice little guitar driven song with a spellbinding bridge that’s the best thing I’ve heard her do yet. And I’mma keep it short cuz I already wrote this up at the Singles Jukebox.

Enny released this soft, cushiony record with washed out synths over bulky drums and floated FLOATED over them without even trying to run in the tar, saying frankly, “He said to me, 'they put guns in the streets, that’s what they wanted for me.’ And I said, ‘G, someone can fix you a plate but no one can force you to eat.’” After all, why not try to live for something greater than what the world has expected you to be. And Amia sings, “We’re gon be alright, ok?” with the joy and excitement of someone realizing the words coming alive on their tongue. One of the best songs of this miserable year, and it’s kinda funny watching Jorja accidentally Drake out Amia and even Enny (and by funny I mean irritating.)

9 - Tobi Lou - okay (ft. Dreezy) [prod. by Matteo Woods & Dilip]

Fun fact: Dilip did some great songs with Otxhello, a producer who recorded and mixed 2 records on my first album. That again is not why this song is here. The warm, swinging synths and heavy, bouncy drums are why this is here. Oh, and Tobi’s goofy, silly lyrics and his surprisingly effective Missy Elliott tribute are great too. But obviously, the verse that vaulted this into top 10 was Dreezy, which opens with such a openhearted line, “i can’t help it, it’s too hard to say I’m sorry.” And every line is harder than the last, until she closes with “and I ain’t talkin frontals but we got the city sown up.” Absolutely amazing.

10 - Strongman Burner - Pilolo (ft. KelvynBoy) [prod. by Nixie]

The sweet, gooey synths are poured over the soft, zipping and smooth drums as the wiry bass whirls between Kelvyn’s soft, thin crooning as Stoneman tap dances over the drums, both desperate and defiant, trying to salvage a sinking relationship that he knows is already gathering coral and snappers. It’s the best afropop song of the year and yet it still has a Nigerian on it (well, I put 4 Nigerians on here, next year I’m rectifying that.) And they even did a song together last year , not as good as this. At all. (still pretty good tho.)

best 10 songs i love (but not enough to write full paragraphs for, I already put 10 in and this is already 5 goddamn pages)

11 - Logic - Heard ‘Em Say

best song on the project that isn’t Dadbod but at least it isn’t tempting fate.

12 - Deqn Sue - Creep

I already love this for having a gorgeous bridge, and is cute af. Yes Sue, you can creep.

13 - Quelle Chris & Chris Keys - Sudden Death/ka - i love {moms, mimi, kev}

QUELLE CHIS CAN SANG SANG./ka can heart heart write.

14 - IDK - Square Up (ft. Juicy J)

I don’t know why this is here either but this slaps regardless.

15 - Nappy Nina - Modestly (ft. Maassai)

Maassai is creating some of the best raps out here. so is Nappy Nina.

16 - Kehlani - Lexii’s Outro (ft. Lexii Ajaii)

Let’s celebrate our great rappers when they’re alive (and this includes me. Pls Chika, don’t win Best New Artist.)

17 - Samad Savage - Goodnight

What Travis Scott should’ve tried to be instead of what he is now. Samad still dope af regardless.

18 - Bad Bunny - Si Veo Tu Mama

The way Bad Bunny actually hits that last note makes me feel so excited and alive.

19 - Fat Tony - Back In The Saddle

I fucked up. But I’m getting back in the saddle, back in the saddle next year. NO NIGERIANS ALL NIGERIENS. #ENDSARS tho.

20 - Lady A - the truth is loud

Why am I the only one who has this on a best list? I have 34 bot followers. Vibe, step it up.

best of 2020 music right here folxs.

worst music things of the year:

The Pop Smoke album. Just in all areas. (Better win that Grammy tho.) Travis Scott in general. (So loud and empty and boring.) Big Sean’s Detroit 2. (why does this exist? Just put out Deep Reverence and Detroit Night Cypher and leave everything on the cutting room floor fo the next album.) Remembering all the great rappers who are dead or incarcerated. No Kendrick album (just leaks. Not good enough.) J. Cole and Noname beefing and Noname getting strung up by twitter. Jay Rock pushing being anti-vaccinations. The realization that Normani might never drop a single record ever again. Tory Lanez in general. Joyner Lucas making actually good songs and falling off almost immediately. Cardi B in general. Anything positive being said about steven Universe songs. Luzamity shipping (until it’s canon please stop! Willuz is RIGHT THERE!)

#rap ferreira #best of 2020 #the singles jukebox

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kerriescreativecorner · 6 years ago

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Best Christmas Ever

with the holidays coming up I thought a nice Kenshin Christmas story was in order. their angst in here just a little as well as the MC dealing with some sad thing from her past and there's fluff XOXOX. with the Thanksgiving being tomorrow for me this my only story this week and I decided to go big with it. I hope you all that read this like it and thank for reading my work :)

That festive season was fast approaching. Thanksgiving was over and black Friday hand come and went as well as Cyber Monday. Most of the guy's hand got their Christmas shopping done for the yuletide season, now all that was left was wrapping gifts and the annual secret Santa exchange.

For some god-awful reason, Kenshin hand come to the present wrapping party Masamune hand planed this year for the secret Santa exchange. The only consolation to coming was he hand been told Amber would be there. The fact he had pulled her name out of the punch bowl at Thanksgiving was still a thorn in his side.

Kenshin knew next to nothing about buying a gift for a woman so this year's present hand to extra special. in years past he hand always lucked out and gotten one of the guys from either Nobunaga’s Azuchi house or his place Kasugayama House.

It’s not that he didn’t like the yule time it was more he despised having to wrap presents. If there was one thing in this world he was not good at it was wrapping a gift. And this year secret Santa gift meant more to him than in years past as it was for the lovely Amber.

Amber hand growing on him like a vine of ivy growing on a tree over the years. She had the personality of Mitsuhide linking to teases other . and Oh she was good at it. she was the only one that could get that crafty foxes goat ever damn time.

Kenshin liked that about her, as well as she was easy going and laid back. Amber could even handle him when he was his worst, wan his temperament was the blackest. She was always there with a kind soothing word for him wan she tried to cowl him out of his foul mood.

And that right there is what made him fall in love with her and why he had not yet acted on his feeling for her. He knew how he was wan it came to relationships. Overbearing, overprotective, and at times he could be downright possessive.

So yes this year the warping paper hand to be something special that fit Amber and the wrapping of said gift for her hand to be exquisitely done nothing less would do.

in Kenshin mind, anything less was not an option at all for Amber's gift.

---

Kenshin hand lost count how many time he had tried to wrap the gift sitting in front of him. How many time he hand threatened Shingen and Yukimura for giving him a hard time for the total and utterly failed attempts at gift wrapping.

“That looks like a four-year-old wrapped that Kenshin “ Yukimura hand said between fits of laughter at one point and time.

To the witch, Kenshin replay was to flip the scissors he was using like a throwing dagger. they had gone whizzing by Yukimura’s head catching a few stray hairs before planting into the wall behind him

“I’ll kill you if you don’t stop laughing “ he snapped out

That even hand even sobering Shingen up

“ getting a bit stabby there Kenshi “ was all the redhead said after watching the scissors go flying.

Now the three sat in complete silence around the table wrapping their gifts.

At one point Hideyoshi hand come over and offered to help teach him how to wrap a present the right way. but Kenshin had turned him down stating

“you would not be the first to offer that kind of help “

he gave a slight scowl “ I'm just hopeless at this kind of thing “

Kenshin now ground his teeth in his last attempt at wrapping his gift. He rolled out the wrapping paper from the roll. There was not a lot left of the pretty paper on the roll. This was the last usable bit if he failed this he felt he might just die right there on the spot.

He looked up from what he was doing his two-toned eyes giving a quick scan around the room. Ever one was done wrapping there gifts and now most were enjoying themselves all but him and the two still sitting at the table watching probably for their own amusement.

“They call me the god of war but after this, they call me the god of gift wrapping “ he muttered to himself as he looked back down to cut the wrapping paper.

But before he could even close the blades to the sharp scissors a soft even claim voice came from behind him. And he knew who it was how could he not.

“Mind if I lend a hand bunny lord “ came Ambers gentle soothing words.

Kenshin ground down more on his back teeth “ I got this “ he said as calmly as he could

“ And what have I told about calling me that “ he quipped out next “ just because I so happen to raises rabbis as a hobby “

Her melodious laughter cut him off “well if your little white pets didn’t follow you around I would have no need call you that “ she chided back to him her face coming into his view now.

All he could do was open and close his mouth. Because anything he could say as a come back to that would just end up with him sounding like a complete ass, or a total jerk or a complete asshole.

“Aww what's wrong the rabbits have your tongue bunny lord, “ she asked with that dam sly smile she had.

The one he knew she always got wan poking fun at him, while also trying to pull him out of one of his foul moods.

God, that smile drove him crazy and the way she spoke the words. softly in that even calming tone of hers. Even if she was poking a bit of fun at him for his rabbits it was doing the trick and lighting his mood just a bit.

Finally, he gave a soft sigh in resignation and nodded his head. “If you think you can help me “

Where Hideyoshi hand failed earlier in offering Kenshin help Amber hand succeeded.

“Look like someone owes me Benjamin “ Yukimura blurted out from his seat at the table.

Oh that got the young forest ranger a scathing look from Kenshin

“ you do know I brought my swords Yukimura “ heterochromatic eyes narrowed and shot blue and green dagger at the ranger sitting across from him.

“ cair to go outside and test your skills “

That hand got everyone's attention for that split second all eyes were on that part of the room.

Then Amber spoke up then “no need to get all stabby bunny lord “ she softly taped Kenshin nose every other word.

This seems to calm him right down all he could muster now was a disgruntled look.

“Come on Yuki let's give the lord of bunnies some space “

Shingen had said the word as he looked at Amber and giving her wink. Kenshin had been biting backs words that would make him sound jealous and possessive of her. But he had kept his mouth closed and didn’t utter a word.

Once the reformed playboy and forest ranger left Amber guide Kenshin throws the art of wrapping a present. Witch he had to say once done he did a damn fine job. The thing looked as if he had paid someone to do it. Even the bow that was on it looks like a pro hand done it.

---

Later that night everyone gathered around the large and overly decorated Christmas tree. Everyone was here now Sasuke and Kennyo hand been the last two to show up. Seeing as Kennyo and put off buying his Secret Santa gift until the last possible minute.

Nervously Kenshin wanted for the time that presents would be handed out. And it showed as he had down three cups of the bourbon flavored eggnog.

He was on his fourth cup wan Amber sat next to him on the couch. She had a hot spiked cider, her hands were wrapped around the mug as she sat with her feet tucked up under here next to him.

“ who you get this year bunny king “ she switched up her wording as she took a sip from her mug.

“You know I can't tell you that princess “ he stated oh so matter-of-factly

“Calling me princess now are you? “ she asked wiggling her brows as she chuckled softly with a soft smile to her lips “ whatever for? “

“Because you are the princess of gift wrapping, “ he thought it was a nice cover for the slip he made in calling her princess.

“Oh I see, “ she said as she leaned in a bit closer to him

she spoke softly, “ so for no other reason” she was teasing him again that much was clear with her choice of words.

“Well, you do call me bunny lord a lot “ he needled back at her.

Amber gave a thoroughly hearty laugh to what he said. And that smile he so loved to see graced her face making it light up and glow.

His heart came to life every time he saw that smile. Letting him know he was living and his cold heart was not yet dead.

“You know I only speak the truth, “ she said tauntingly to him as her hand raised and ruffled his platinum blond locks.

As her fingers rand throw his hair for that fleeting moment he turned his eye of blue and his other of green to her eyes. And oh when they met he could have gotten lost in her blue-green hazel eyes.

Time stood still at that moment just for a beat or two of his heart. And all too soon Amber lifted her mug to her lips and took a heavy draw from her drink. Where her cheeks slightly flushed and as she looked at him from her lashes as she took a heavy a drink.

“Umm, I think it’s time to hand out the presents “ her voice sounded softly husky as she spoke.

“Oh is it “ that had come out sounding all too filled with disappointment even to him.

---

Masamune handed out the presents as he sat under the tree. His blue Santa hat flopping over his eye patch making him look like a man-child. Summer as his helper elf that didn’t help that image. seeing those two were a lot alike and now an idiom, but everyone was laughing and smiling as present were handed out.

Soon enough every one hand there gifts. all but the Secret Santa ones. they were always the last ones handed out after they had opened all the rest of the gifts.

And then it was time. One by one Masamune called out a name handed the present to Summer who passed it along to the person it was for. Of course wan he got to Amber's gift he had to say

“ well, I know why the god of war was so worked up about wrapping this “ Masamune even hand the nerve to stick his tongue out at Kenshin peevishly. Beforehand the gift off to Amber.

“you know it’s called Secret Santa for a reason Masamune, “ Amber said without missing a beat “

“Oops, my bad“Masamune said as he brought his hand to his lips in a mocking gesture saying sorry but not sorry.

Amber just rolled her eyes at the overgrown man-child.

Kenshin just gave an ironic snort to Masamune than turned to Amber

“I hope you like it princes “

Amber turned her eyes to Kenshin

”I'm sure I will” she hesitated in her words “l I would like to open this later tonight if it’s all the same to you Kenshin“ she finally half stated half asked.

“ it’s fine, “ he said flatly not know really how to respond to her request or event how to deal with the over welling feeling of disappointment he felt.

---

The night pressed on slowly at times. more so when his foul temper was starting to show itself. By some grace of the gods, Amber hand always shown up by his side just at the right moment and quickly brightened his mod.

At present most everyone had turned in for the night the only ones left up was Amber, Hideyoshi and himself. Amber was trying to get Hideyoshi to head off to bed and stop cleaning. She had gone as far as to remind him Jess was waiting for him. Finally, she got to him relent by reassuring him everything would be clean come morning.

“Well, Ma'am Yoshi finally off to bed “ came her words so close to his ear. Kenshin could feel the breeze of her breath wash over his ear. And oh it shot down through him like wildfire.

“You know princess, “ he said turning to face her “ you have a gift for talking others down “

She gave him a smart ass look “oh you don’t say “ she purred out “if that so minds helping fish up here should only take forty minutes tops “

How could he say no with her looking at him like that? So Kenshin found himself helping her with the last bit of cleaning.

As they both clean they talked… well, most she talked. She opened up to him that they had something in common. They both shared in the tragic loss of their first loves. He never knew she lost her first boyfriend to a drunk driver. It came as a shock to him but it also explained a lot as well. the way she knew how to handle him when his moods would shift and the why she even put up with when him at his worst moments.

He learned for the longest time she blamed herself for her boyfriends death.she said “ for the longest time I blamed myself “ he could tell she still felt guilt just by the way she spoke “ if I hadn’t asked him to come to pick me after that fight with my mom “ and god that look on her face when she spoke about it, he just want to take all that hurt and pain on to himself.

“Enough of me being all emo”

she said and took him by the hand and lead him to the couch

“I have a present to open “

Kenshin could help but smile and give a soft chuckle in how exuberant she was in that moment. He followed her gladly to the couch and watch her flop down on it and pat the open spot next to her present in her other hand.

Gladly he sat down just like she was criss-cross applesauce and faced her.

“ you never cease to amaze me in how you can change the mood princes“

He watched her pick at the bow he had so meticulously tied. At that moment he knew that something was bothering her. She only picked at things like that when something was eating at her her

“ Everything alright, “he asked

She looked up at him and smiled ‘ya I'm fine “ she took a breath “ I… I just don’t like talking about it “ she started then stopped to take a breath before going on

“ the weak smile you have on says otherwise princes “Kenshin brushed the back of his finger over her cheek.

Her breath hitched softly as she spoke “but I need to talk about “ her words came with her normally reassuring smile however it looks as of tears were starting to well up in her eyes

“ the accident happened right around this time of year “ she took his hand who’s finger hand just brushed her cheek and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Now I'm done being Emo time to open this “ she waved the present in front of his face forcing down her tears.

Kenshin took her at her word that she was fine and didn’t press it seeing as she was trying to change even her own mood right now.

Like a kid at Christmas seeing Santa Claus in there living room. Kenshin watched Amber open his present to her. A lopsided goofy smile on his lips.

Amber took her time slowly pulling at one of the tails of the bow in untell it came undone. And with slow grate cair she lifted the tape piece by piece in tell she had the present unwrapped.

She stopped and look up at Kenshin before opening the white box that held the gift.

‘No bunnies or swords are going to come popping out at me “ she asked with a cheeky smile

Her question hand caught Kenshin off guard “I'm not Mitsuhide ‘ was all he could say before he would start laughing and might ruin this magical moment.

She gave him the stink eye but in the most impish playful way

“Good or I would have to kill you “ she turned his all too often go to words on to him

That got him to laugh and wan he did she joined him in laughing.

“You think you're funny don’t you princess “ came his word on a chuckle

“well are you going to open it the rest of the way or not “

he waved his hand at the present and his words showed he was growing impatient with excitement.

“Yes “ she simply said on a soft giggle

Just like before she took her time with the tape holding the lid down. Leisurely she slipped a nail and ran it under each piece of tape untell it snapped up. Then she took her time lifting the lid, stopping and looking at him suspiciously as she crept it up and off.

He watched her with great joy and amusement in her antics as she took her dam sweet time. But Kenshin knew it was worth it once she saw what was in the box. He watches her pushed back the crate paper and her eyes go wide as she looked in to see her present.

Her breath caught in her thought and she forgot to breathe Amber Looked at the 50 millimeters round amethyst crystal ball in the box.

“I love it, “ she said all choked up tears once more filling her eyes.

“ and you way overspent the set price limit for secret Santa Kenshin “

He just gave her a warm soft smile one she had never really seen on him before now.

“Not for the woman I'm in love with I didn’t “ he could not hold himself back any longer. he has been waiting all day and most of the dam night for this moment to happen.

“What, “ she asked her eyes probing his to see if he was pulling her leg

“I'm in love with you Amber I have been for a long time now “ he croaked out softly. his eye of blue and eye of green peered back at her with all the intensity of his feeling for her. And then, then he was kissing her for all that he was with.

The kiss started soft and slow on her lips and she gladly took it and moved with it as it grew in its calming need. It took her breath away.

Once Kenshin broke the kiss did she say something “ I love you too bunny lord “ came to her breathy husky words agents his lips.

That was all Kenshin need before he swept her up into his arms and kissed her in tell they both were breathless and gasping for air.

Once she got her breath Amber said “ best Christmas ever I got two present in one this year “

#ikemen sengoku fanfiction #kenshin uesugi #uesugi kenshin #ikemen fluff #angst #ikesen #ikesenangst #ikemen sengoku #fanfic kenshin #ikemen fanfic #fanfic

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alxvensxoul · 6 years ago

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all he little emoji things!

🍰 - What is their favorite type of dessert or sweet?

Strawberry (Anything) cheesecake!

🐢 - What type of animal would they keep for a pet

Sana would like to have a bunny or something cute like that.

🐙 - They are crossing the ocean. What are the circumstances and how did they get there?

Probably on an airplane going somewhere. Maybe on a boat like a cruise or something .

🌎 - If money were no object, where would they live and what would they do with their life? (Ex: entrepreneur, playboy, philanthropist, etc)

If money were no object Sana would still live in South Korea. She would have opened her company with her sister. They would live in a bigger apartment and not have to share a car. 🎂 - Do they celebrate their birthday?

Yep. Stephanie and Sana will both wear a tiara their entire birthday and not care what anyone has to say about it. 🎓 - Are they well-educated?

Sana is in college currently studying business. 📬 - A mysterious letter has just been found in their mailbox. How does your character react? Who would it be from?

Probably her parents. She would love it. Sana likes random surprises. ⌚ - Is your character punctual or procrastinator?

She is late. She is late. Don’t expect her to be on time. Because she will be late.

- Your character just found a fat sack of gold on a bench. What do they do with it?

Take it to the police station. Its not hers. 👙 - Is your character trendy or do they just not give a damn?

She is trendy. She likes clothes and fashion. She and her sister both do but they have different styles. 🎠 - Your character is at the carnival. What kinds of rides or games do they check out to entertain themselves?

Sana likes rides. She likes thrill rides. BUT she would rather run around and play games. Win her a giant stuffed animal and be her favorite person

🔮 - Your character is having their future told by someone pretty shady. Do they call the fortune teller out or just roll with it?

She would just roll with it. Who is she to call them out?

🎃 - What is your character’s favorite holiday?

Christmas!

🎶 - What would your character say about your personal taste in music?

She is into the idol groups just like any other fan girl 💒 - Does your character want marriage or a lifelong commitment?

Sana would like to find someone one day who loves her and she does want to get married.

♓ - Hey baby, what’s your sign? What would your character’s zodiac sign be and what qualities do they carry to make them fall under that sign?

Sana is a scorpio and she is definitely success driven.

🚼 - Does your character have or want kids?

She does not have them but she does want one in the future.

⚠ - What has your character almost done that made someone talk them out of or convince them not to do it?

Sana once almost dated a guy who was known to be abusive. He had her totally enthralled. Stephanie talked her out of it.

♿ - Is your character in some way handicapped? (This includes physical, emotional, and mental.)

No💊 - Is your character on medication? If so, why?

Birth control 🌞🌜 - Is your character an early bird or night owl? What makes them that way?

Sana is a night owl. She DOES NOT like mornings 📚 - Does your character read? \

Yes! She loves to read📓 - If your character keeps a journal, what is the most secret thought they keep in it?

Sana does not keep a journal 📰 - An obituary for your character was found in the local paper this morning. What did it say?

If there was an obituary for Sana it would say that she was a kind soul with a determined nature . She loved her family and was a loyal friend.

💢 - What frustrates your character more than anything?

People who are unnecessarily rude.

✌ - Your character just made a trespass against someone else, how would they go about righting it given the chance? Or would they at all?

Apologize profusely. 🍴 - What is the absolute worst meal your character has ever eaten? Were they verbal about it or did they just not say anything?

Anything with mushrooms in it.

🍜 - Carnivore/Pescatarian/Vegetarian/Vegan/Other? What kind of diet does your character have?

Omnivore

💋 - Your character was just kissed by someone they can’t stand. Why and how did it happen?

If that happened they probably took it upon themselves and she would slap them across the face. 😇 - What was your character’s last good deed?

Donating clothes to the local shelter 😁 - Someone just tripped and fell in front of your character. Do they laugh or help the person up?

Help them up!😨 - Your character just broke wind in public. Do they try to hide it or own up to it?

She would try to hide it. 😍 - Your character’s lust object just passed right by them. How awkward do they get as they try to make conversation?

Sana can be pretty awkward in general sometimes. But she doesnt have a problem talking to guys she is attracted to. 😒 - “Ugh! Not him/her/them/it again.” How does your character react to annoying people?

She is polite but she will make an excuse to leave. 😂 - Your character is moved to tears. What’s a kindness that another showed to them?

Its easy to get her to cry. Almost any kind gesture can get her to cry. 😄 - What has ever made your character laugh so hard that they almost passed out?

It was probably some dumb joke someone made.

😈 - What’s your character’s favorite cuss word?

Sana tries not to cusee. 😏 - Is your character having a dirty thought right now?

No! Well, she might have had one or two but none that were obscene

🍺 - Cheers! What is your character’s favorite alcoholic beverage? What was the last thing they got smashed off of?

Anything fruity. Sana hasn’t been drunk in a while. 💫 - Your character is suffering memory loss after being knocked unconscious. What happens afterwards and how did it happen?

If that happened she is probably curled up in a ball crying. 💡 - What is the best idea your character ever had?

Getting rid of her sister’s cat Peter. Sadly, they still have Peter. 💍 - Does your character wear any type of jewelry?

Yeah. Her jewelry always coordinates with her outfit.

⛪ - Is your character religious or spiritual in anyway?

Not really. 🎱 - Your character and a talking raccoon walk into a bar…

She probably followed it into the bar. She probably wanted to talk to it. 📼 - An interrogation tape emerges regarding a recent interview with your character. What are they being questioned for?

Probably something her sister did. 👟 - Is your character into personal fitness? If so, what’s their exercise routine?

She is a dancer so thats what she does to keep in shape. 📺 - What would your character’s favorite TV show be? What’s their favorite genre?

Once upon a time! She likes fantasy tv shows and also romance.

🍀 - Does your character carry a good luck charm? Do they believe in luck?

She and stephanie both have a charm bracelet that their parents gave them that they don’t take off. She considers it her good luck charm

#lotusshop

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seenashwrite · 6 years ago

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Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

(a.k.a. - Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

ETA: This adventure is now moving to @seenashblog, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for awhile yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Here we go.

Winter Castle (people you've never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin'-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they're all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They're all in this giant faux igloo, and by "faux" I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place.

Anyway, through the doors you'll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn't damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark's world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything's backlit in '80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that's beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it's stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito'd in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say "as well" because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she's face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don't keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that's plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don't lick the walls. That's good advice, igloo or otherwise.

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

"It's like an igloo," Mullen told the Standard. "The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it's just getting into your bones." She said every time they called "Cut!," everyone would put on jackets to warm up.

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn't make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just.... ugh.

1/5 stars

Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn't an "official" Winter '19 jam, google tells me it's from the '18 spring movies, but everybody's bundled up, so I'm calling bullshit. It ain't half-bad, despite the fact that it's a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another "royal", the absolutely horrid "Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not "My Christmas Love" bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what's coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it's mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it's the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn't outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren't typically hip to other countries' jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could've been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third... maybe the fourth... that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It's far from the worst of Hallmark's offerings but, again, I think it's because of Lenz, she's the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

Oh… oh mah… what the... we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

"Chance at Romance", it's called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he's old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who's in every fourth movie, and the lead chick's familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don't worry, it's not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who's teaching the next big thing is like "You used to be the next big thing, why don't you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I've been hired to make a winner, and I'll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that's not what he says, but that's the deal, yo. The next-big-thing's got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing's coach, and she's a horrible actress, she can't play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and... shock of all shocks, no not really... our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don't know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I'm in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I'm not contracted. I can't speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he's escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore... at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn't seem like a "Winter official", but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it's airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it's-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don't fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It's lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that's the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it's in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he's the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it's to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character's parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <---- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there's nothing wrong with this movie. It's vanilla. It's white bread. It's mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I'm hungry, shut up.

It doesn't just get 1 star because it's not bottom barrel - everyone's competent in their acting, there's nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it's not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof.... it's got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring "Hope At Christmas" on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there's apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks.

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Tell me if you want to be tagged.

#Nash Watches and Rates #Cheesy Winter Movies #so you don't have to #Cheesy Movie Talk #Not SPN #though is a bit #SPN Tangentially #due to the fanfic nature #Back to our #regularly scheduled #programming shortly #Queueby Dooby Doo #Dad's on a blog post and #he hasn't been queued in a few days

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stereksecretsanta · 7 years ago

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Merry Christmas, @jeangvrey!

I hope you enjoy this Jeangvrey!!!

Read on AO3

*****

Batman Has Bunny Teeth

Chapter 1: Firescapes & Batman Capes

“I am the night!” Comes the booming voice behind him and Stiles turns, flailing a bit as he stares up at the towering shadow of a man, bathed in darkness, cape billowing despite the lack of wind. All Stiles can do is cover his mouth to hide his laughter once his mind, as usual, zeroes in on the exact wrong thing to focus on.

Batman gives him a quizzical stare, still looming over him like a storm cloud of glowering anger. “Usually the only laughing criminal I have to deal with is the Joker,” Batman quips, and that only makes Stiles erupt in more titters.

“I’m sorry it’s just… it’s just I never noticed Batman had bunny teeth,” Stiles chokes out, fully preparing for Batman to deck him. But he can’t, all that darkness and rage and Stiles instantly settled in on the most adorable part of the man, one of the only parts he could really see of his face.

“I’d say you should worry about your own teeth, the dentists at Blackgate aren’t very good at their job.” Batman continues to stare at him, like he’s looking through him to the rather poor graffiti littering the brick wall behind him in the dank alleyway.

Stiles rolls his eyes, hitting the window he was currently jimmying open softly. “Hey, listen Mr. Bats; this is my apartment I’m breaking into. Do I really look like the kind of idiot that would break into an apartment on the shittiest block in the city, during a thunderstorm?” Stiles asks blithely. “Seriously, I’d track rain and mud in everywhere, the police would have no trouble identifying me through shoeprints. And sure the crack of thunder might be all well and good to hide the shatter of glass, and yes the average person on this street is more likely to call their friend to gossip about what’s happening than call the police, but it’s still a terrible target for burglary or petty larceny.”

When the boy finishes rambling Batman isn’t sure what to say, it’s very rare for him to make a mistake when it comes to criminal activity, and while low level crooks aren’t always his M.O. he’d noticed this from the rooftop above and decided to investigate.

“So… are you going to arrest me for breaking into my own apartment or can I get in before I’m actually entirely drenched to the bone? I think my underwear might still be dry if I can get inside soon…” Stiles says, and there’s a smirk on his lips.

“Why exactly should I believe this is really your apartment? And don’t give me the intelligence excuse, because I’ve met some very idiotic criminals in this city,” Batman replies, voice less imposing now, but still skeptical.

Stiles stood for a minute to contemplate what he can say to placate the vigilante on his fire escape. “Ok… how about you let me get inside, then I can prove it’s my apartment? If I can’t then you can take me to the cops, I won’t resist. My dad used to be a sheriff so I have respect for the police. Well, not so much the Gotham PD, but you’re sorta police. I guess,” he laughs.

Batman stills, deciding before giving one short decisive nod.

“Cool, cool, just gimme a sec to work this out,” Stiles answers, holding up a finger as he tried to get the window open. After a few minutes of fumbling Batman pushed him aside and does it himself, almost effortlessly. Stiles turns with a frown, “I almost had it.”

“Sure you did,” Batman deadpans, then motions towards the window. “Now prove it’s your house.”

“Alright, alright. I’m going, don’t sick your pet bats at me man,” Stiles jokes as he ambles through the window, tripping and faceplanting on the rug he’d just bought last week. “You saw nothing!” He calls back behind him as he straightens up and grabs a picture frame on the nightstand.

“See? That’s me, and my dad and my best friend Scott.”

Batman takes the photo and holds it up next to Stiles’ face. “You look different.”

“Well duh! I was like, 18 in that photo. I’m an adult now, my hair grew out, I put on a bit of muscle, or at least I like to think so. I mean it’s nothing compared to all this bondage muscle god stuff you have going on here,” he gestured to Batman’s suit. “Unless are these fake? Did you have abs made into your suit?” He asks, reaching to touch and having his hand slapped away. Hard.

“Fine, I believe you. Why exactly did you break into your own apartment though?” Batman asks almost as an afterthought.

“Oh? Well you see I ordered a pizza because I just got back from night class and I was swamped with work and I just wanted to stuff something into my mouth greasy and cheesy and well, anyway, so I hear the delivery guy pull up so I race downstairs to get it and, well, I forgot my keys. So I end up eating the pizza on the stoop and giving the leftovers to a homeless guy on the corner, and then set about finding something to pry my window open. And then you show up and nearly give me a heart attack. And that’s what you missed on, Glee!” He jokes, cutting off his rambling explanation and staring back. It’s only now he begins to process the fact Batman is in his house, that he’s been talking to the caped crusader for the better part of ten minutes.

Batman huffs, not a laugh, but something akin to mild amusement. “Have a good night and try not to have to break into your apartment again,” he says in that gruff tone.

“Oh this is a weekly occurrence. Why do you think I’m so good at it?” Stiles laughs, pointing finger guns at Batman before thinking better of it.

“Then next time don’t let me catch you,” Batman says, turning and for a moment Stiles thinks he catches the barest hint of a smile before the man grapplehooks away from his fire escape. “Why am I suddenly turned on?” Stiles asks the night, shaking his head and laughing, one hand dragging down his face as he strips and heads for a well-deserved hot shower.`

Chapter 2: Nananananananana Batcave!

“Ah, Mister Hale, you’re home early,” Deaton says blithely, eyes tilting up to meet the gust of wind kicked up by the Batmobile’s entrance.

“Slow night. I think all the villains are either locked up, licking their wounds or out of town,” Derek scoffs, almost sounding offended at the lack of crime.

“Or maybe,” Deaton surmises, standing and crossing towards Derek, “one of your young wards has taken care of things so you can have the night off?”

Derek pulls the cowl off and glowers at Deaton. “Justice doesn’t take the night off. Besides, you know I don’t like them out on their own.” His voice is tinged with a hint of worry, a tone most unusual for Derek aside from speaking of the kids.

“Well you’ll be glad to know Isaac is still here, Vernon took Erica out on a training mission however.” Deaton announced it with the same dispassionate tone you’d use for reading a grocery list.

Derek sighs, rubbing at his eyes and staring back at Deaton. “At least Boyd will likely stay safe,” he says, albeit begrudgingly. “So Isaac is?”

“Asleep I believe. As should you be. Unless you plan on going out and playing the part for tonight?”

Something deep within Derek stings at that, how Deaton so casually lays bare that his public persona, Derek Hale philanthropist and billionaire playboy heir, is all an act. Most nights he thinks Batman is who he truly is and the putting on the mask isn’t hiding his identity, but completing it.

Shaking off the thought he heads towards the gear room, reassembling the costume on its mannequin before taking the proffered robe from Deaton.

“I better turn in actually. Tomorrow is that ribbon cutting ceremony for the new research facility, and the trip to the orphanage, barring no more interruptions.” Both were points of pride for Derek, working on both his persona’s goals at once to improve the city.

“And don’t forget the gala fundraiser tomorrow evening…” Deaton reminds.

“Again, provided there aren’t any nefarious plots afoot.” That makes Derek crack a smile, something Deaton is happy to see.

“Yes, we must be ever vigilant for those dastardly villains,” Deaton deadpans.

“Goodnight Deaton.”

“Goodnight Derek.” Deaton waves him off, going back to his studies.

Derek stops by Isaac’s room and a soft smile spreads on his face. The kid’s wiry, but he has heart. He’s going to need that if he plans on following in the family business of crime fighting.

Sometimes Derek wonders if bringing them into this life was for the best, if he’s not putting them all in more danger than they were before they’d met him, but when he sees how they’ve all grown, Boyd finally having friends, Erica coming out of her shell, and even Isaac no longer skittish and drawn in. That’s how he knows he’s doing something right.

Chapter 3: Disbelief & Deliberation

“You did not meet Batman!” Scott argues from his place on the couch.

“Uh, yeah, I totally did. He nearly arrested me for breaking into my apartment.” Stiles feels personally offended his best friend doesn’t believe him.

Scott gives him that same look of disbelief. “And why would you be breaking into your own apartment? Wait… Never mind, you forgot your keys again right?”

“Yes and since someone…” He looks at Scott, “who shall remain nameless wasn’t home. I had to Jimmy the lock and nearly get carted away by the Gotham knight.”

Scott rolls his eyes again and turns on the T.V. “Say I believe you. Does this mean you might have a new obsession and will stop drooling over Derek Hale? Including this scheme you’ve dragged Lydia into?”

“Please, I dragged her into nothing.” Scott raises an eyebrow. “There was no dragging! Maybe some slight hand tugging and a bit of pleading and volunteering to work at the greenhouse all next summer when I have time but there was definitely no dragging.”

Scott doesn't have time to reply to that because the news comes on and none other than Derek Hale shows up. “Oh no…” Scott sighs; putting his head in his hands before Stiles jumps over the couch and nearly knocks him out of the way

“God he’s so handsome! And generous! He’s such a great guy.” Stiles gushes about Derek as Scott pretends to vomit.

“I hope this ends once you meet him. I don’t want you actually going full stalker mode. I might have to, you know, be concerned for your mental health.” Stiles gives him a look of derision for that.

“Stopping trying to headshrink me Doctor McCall. I have a perfectly normal attraction to and interest in Derek Hale.” Scott snorts at that. “I do! And after this party where I hopefully meet him we’ll fall in love and get married and I’ll live in Hale manor while we have ridiculously hot sex and eat caviar off each other’s chiseled bodies in a bath of champagne.”

“I’m too sober for this… alright, well I have to go home and you know, actually sleep since I have work tomorrow.”

“Have fun at the asylum!” Stiles jokes.

“I told you not to call Arkham that. We’ve rebranded,” Scott rebuts, indignant.

“Look you know my distrust of places like that. Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I like it anymore.”

Scott doesn't argue, just heads out on his own leaving Stiles to his thoughts. Thankfully that means Stiles has time to plan his infiltration of the benefit gala. Of course, even he doesn’t suspect that he’ll actually get seated with Derek Hale and have to try not to make a mockery of himself.

Chapter 4: Revelling & Revelations

The night is going great; for once Derek is actually enjoying this benefit, if only because of the charming man seated next to him. It takes him until halfway through the second course for him to realize where he knows him from, the man he’d caught breaking into his own apartment last week.

He’d known the others manners weren’t befitting the Gotham elite, but ignored it since nouveau riche often immigrated to Gotham to show off to their friends back home. But now he was wondering how the seemingly uncoordinated man he’d stumbled upon had conned his way into one of the most elite functions of high society.

A wry smile split his lips as he watched Stiles regale anyone that would listen with a plethora of facts about history, culture, art, almost any topic he could manage to drag kicking and screaming into the discussion. It seemed the more obscure the better, with Derek even doubting a few of the stories before Stiles offered to Bring up proof on his phone.

“That’s quite alright; I think we all believe you Mr.…?” Derek said, putting a hand over Stiles to stop him getting his surely older phone that might have given him away.

“Stilinski. Mr. Stilinski, but you can call me Stiles,” he said, and the faintest blush seeped into his cheeks at the direct contact between him and Derek. He had to hold it together, because he’d been doing so well distracting himself with rambling.

“Well Stiles I think we’d all love to hear more of your anecdotes, but I hear the band starting up and, well,” Derek stood and offered his hand, “I thought you might care to join me?”

Stiles’ brain may have short circuited for a moment, and his heart not so much tripped as face planted right against his ribs, but he nodded, licking his lips as he took the offered hand and stood. He was smiling, not bidding a second glance back at the table they’d left before following Derek out to the dance floor. “You’ll have to lead, I’m not the best dancer, of course I’m sure that’ll be no problem for you and…” He quieted as Derek put a finger to his lips.

“I’ll lead, don’t worry,” Derek said, smiling what at first seemed to be the same vapid, guileless smile he always wore plastered on his face at these events, but slowly began to morph into something real.

They danced for a few songs, Stiles only stepping on Derek’s toes once after the first song. They’d both focused on the movement of their bodies, of keeping time and flowing with the other dancers that there was little room to talk until a slower number came on after the third song. “I know you’re not supposed to be here,” Derek said, a smirk crossing his lips as Stiles nearly stumbled, Derek quickly turning it into a dip to save face.

“Oh, really?” Stiles asked, laughing nervously. “And where should I be then?”

Derek thought of the dingy apartment, the rain soaked fire escape and smiled. “Well now I think you should be right… Here,” he said, leaning in as if to kiss him, whispering the words before yanking Stiles back up and into position. “But really, how did you get in here? One year my companies stock fell and I didn’t even get an invite.” Derek was smooth, waltzing them around the floor as he spoke, not even winded. Stiles struggled to keep up, but at least dropping the pretense he belonged would help. He hoped.

“Honest answer? My best friend Lydia, well one of my best friends. Her ex is Jackson Whittemore? She pretty much bribed him to let me in.”

That made Derek pause. “What could she possibly have that Whittemore wanted?”

Stiles grinned, flicking his eyes back and forth. “An introduction to her boyfriend’s twin brother.”

Derek’s eyebrows rose at that, he wasn’t the type for gossip since he rarely spoke to anyone outside of these events, but his family had dealt with the Whittemores in the past. “But isn’t he with that app designer? Mahealani?”

“Oh he is. I should have clarified; he AND Danny wanted an introduction to the twin.”

Derek smiles, not out of any real happiness, but because he should here, and they continue to dance. By the end of the night Derek is, despite a halfhearted attempt at the contrary, thoroughly charmed by Stiles.

The gala finished, Derek walks through the lobby with Stiles, shoulder to shoulder. “So this was… fun,” Derek confesses, not sure when the last time he said that and actually meant it was. Certainly with the kids he thinks, but even then that’s more fun for them than it is him most days.

“I had a great time. Totally worth the bribery,” Stiles replies, laughing not so politely. His eyes trail towards Derek’s lips almost imperceptibly.

“Let’s go out the other way,” Derek interjects, holding up his hand to shield his eyes from the flashing lights of the paparazzi outside. It’s at precisely that moment Stiles looks over and he’s hit by a wave of deja vu.

That jawline, those bunny teeth, the light flickering. It’s so eerily similar that he has to stop for a moment and remind himself it’s preposterous to even consider. It’s just a passing resemblance, that’s all. He’s silent on their way to the back, Derek asking him if he needs a ride home twice before he notices. “Oh, uh, no. No, thank you though,” Stiles says, and it’s only after it’s been vocalized he realizes that he just passed up one of his actual bucket list goals.

It surprises Derek that he’s a bit disappointed by Stiles declining, the offer but he reminds himself that it’s for the best. He’s already gotten entirely too friendly. And sure, keeping up the act as Derek Hale, playboy was a necessity. The problem was by the end of the night Derek wasn’t sure if he had been acting.

“This was… This was honestly one of the best nights of my life,” Stiles finally speaks, running the back of his neck, eye doing something between a twitch and a wink that Derek can’t help but find amusing. “But I’m sure you have plenty of rich people things to do like order a new yacht and build schools in Uganda or something so… I better get going. Thanks for the dancing, and for not ratting me out.”

Derek rolls his eyes at that, huffing a short laugh. “Of all the crime and corruption in this city, I think sneaking into a charity gala is far from the worst thing. Besides I saw you write a check to the charity. I doubt it even covers the price of the entree you had, but it’s the thought that counts.”

Stiles turns red at that, a mixture of embarrassment and something he can’t quite explain. He looks up from beneath his lashes at Derek one last time, smiling. “Well, we can’t all be as righteous as the caped crusader,” he says, and there’s something about the way Derek doesn’t react, almost as if he’s schooling himself not to that sets off alerts in Stiles overactive brain.

“Anyway… I better be going. I’ll see you later. Well, I’ll see you on like, television or a newspaper, you probably won’t see me,” he laughs, chewing on his bottom lip, trying to decide if going for a hug is too much. In the end he settles for an awkward wave before heading down the street and away from Derek.

Derek watches Stiles go, mentally mapping the freckles on his neck, the moles on his cheek, the color of his eyes and the timbre of his voice. He says it’s so he won’t be surprised again if he sees him like he was tonight, but even he isn’t that deluded.

“Goodnight Stiles,” he says, words taken by the brisk night air. He gets in his car and goes home, his last stop before taking his nightly duties.

Across town Stiles sits at his computer with a photo of Derek Hale and a sharpie, practicing drawing Batman’s cowl over it and analyzing how it looks. Beside it there’s written just one thing. “The bunny teeth match.”

Chapter 5: Investigations & Invitations

Stiles convinces himself it’s just a coincidence, that any two people could have similar looking teeth.

Or at least he honestly tries too.

When he can’t get it out of his head he decides he needs more research, and not just looking up photos online. No. He needs to see Derek again up close. And maybe Batman too. But definitely Derek.

And so what if, like Scott says, he’s using this as an excuse to indulge his crush even more. It’s not like Derek didn’t seem at least somewhat interested in him.

Besides, there were some gossip bloggers talking about the mystery man Derek danced with at the gala. He was pseudo famous already; he might as well keep it up.

Lydia wasn’t up for asking Jackson for anymore favors, especially considering him and Danny had absconded with Ethan to a private island somewhere. That meant it was all up to him this time.

When Derek noticed him a real smile split his lips and he moved towards him, abandoning the conversation he’d been feigning interest in without a second thought.

“We meet again,” Derek says, voice low and deep. Not the gravel of Batman, but a seductive timbre reserved for, well, seemingly just Stiles right now.

Stiles had spotted Derek from a ways off, had seen him wading through the crowd and didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t ecstatic.

“So we do Mr. Hale,” Stiles replies, trying to be as seductive in return but not quite managing it.

“So, who did you bribe to get in this time?” Derek asks, trying and failing to suppress a grin.

Stiles’ eyes look back and forth, shifty before leaning in. “I posed as a waiter to get in…”

The deviousness in Stiles should be a red flag, but he in fact finds it charming. Derek deals with so many criminals intent on harming innocents that someone simply sneaking into formal events seems almost wholesome in comparison.

“Why exactly are you sneaking into all these events?” Derek asks, bemused.

“To see you, duh,” Stiles answers immediately and for all Derek is used to telling lies, he genuinely can’t tell if it’s a joke or Stiles being flippantly honest.

After that they talk, they dance, they spend the night in each other’s pocket practically. Derek knows this is more than he’d intended when Stiles tells him he has to leave and he actually grabs his wrist, asking him to stay.

“Sorry, I gotta go. Glass slipper, carriage that’s a pumpkin and, well you know the drill,” Stiles laughs, smiling at Derek.

“I want to see you again…” Derek says before he thinks better of it. And that’s all Stiles needs to hear.

“You will,” he says, quickly pecking Derek on the cheek before slinking off towards one of the exits.

What followed was a series of ever more elaborate and ridiculous ways for Stiles to sneak into charity events to see Derek. He actually started to admire the criminals of Gotham as he noticed how much time and effort it took just to plan something like this, much less a bank robbery or similar crime.

Maybe not their evil deeds, but at least the time and energy it took to plan them out. As he felt more and more certain that Derek really was Batman it only seemed to make those ideas grow.

Derek for his part felt himself drawn more and more to Stiles. In a way he reminded him of some of his villains, not so much in demeanor, but in his intelligence, flamboyance and, increasingly, his ridiculous schemes to get into these parties.

That’s why one day he decides enough was enough, the kids had been badgering him, even Deaton had left cut outs of gossip pages mentioning Derek and his mystery suitor, and he did something he should have done a long time before.

The envelope arrived at his doorstep, or more importantly slipped beneath it late at night. Stiles almost slipped on it as he carried in some blueprints and other equipment he’d gathered for his next gala crash.

When he saw it his heart did a weird flip and he bent with shaky hands to pick it up.

Opening it he took out the glossy embossed card and read it aloud.

“You are cordially invited to attend the Gotham High Society Excellence in Charity awards fundraiser as the guest of Derek S. Hale!”

Stiles nearly passed out reading that, jumping up and down on his couch and whooping with joy. Especially since he was basically being asked out by Derek Hale. By Batman.

They’d spent a lot of time together, even if it was just at these dinners, but he'd gotten to know Derek. Gone were the days he marveled at his beauty, at his accomplishments and wealth, even just his philanthropy.

No, now Stiles couldn’t get the look of determination Derek had when talking about turning Gotham around, the way his lips quirked in a smile like they weren’t used to it but wanted to be, the scent of his cologne or the way his body felt pressed close during a dance out of his head.

He realized that he was falling for Derek and maybe, just maybe, Derek was, as impossible as that seemed, falling for him too.

Chapter 6: The Dark Night

The date is everything Stiles wished for and more. Derek arrived with a perfectly tailored suit for him to wear that complemented what the other man was wearing.

The paparazzi were a surprise, even if Stiles should have expected it, what with him arriving on the arm of the wealthiest man in town. Still it was hard to fathom anyone might want his photo. But then Derek would look back at him, smiling that gorgeous smile, those ever present bunny teeth on display, and he’d forget about anything else.

They danced, they talked, they ate expensive food and drank expensive wine. It was the perfect date. A night to remember for sure. He felt their bond growing, every ridiculous thing he did seemed to only charm Derek more.

Derek knew he was falling hard, knew that Stiles was more than just a date, than just a fling. Tonight wasn’t meant as a test, but Stiles was passing anyway. Yes, this wasn’t his life, not his real life, but with Stiles by his side sometimes, for a few moments, he felt like it was. Like it could be.

For those brief seconds Derek would forget the other part of himself, just a moment, and be this part of him. Live this life, with Stiles, and it was terrifying and wondrous all the same.

It would never be who he was, not fully, but maybe if he had Stiles; it would anchor him to this life. Keep it from slipping away until all he was, was the cowl and the cape. And the thing that scared him most was that he wanted it. For the first time since he’d adopted the kids, he saw a chance at normalcy, at love, at things he had denied himself so long, and his hands itched to grab it and hold on for dear life.

The night wound down, and Derek led Stiles to a secluded spot. “Thank you for being my date,” he said, all charm and class, holding Stiles hand the same way he’d done all night. Except now it felt different, charged.

“Thank you for inviting me. It was a nice change not having to concoct some elaborate plan to sneak in. But I would have, to see you,” he laughed, knuckles grazing Derek’s cheek, staring into his eyes.

Derek stared at him and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He kissed him, hands cupping his cheek and the side of Stiles neck, lips pressed against his. It was chaste at first, soft but passionate, but then Stiles pressed further, deepening it, letting their tongues dance. And Derek had to admit, Stiles tongue was a much better dancer than his feet.

“Let me take you home…” Derek breathed, eyes locked with Stiles as he held him close.

And this time when Derek offered him a ride he didn’t decline. They sped off in his luxury car, but they weren’t headed towards Stiles’ place. They pulled up at a high rise penthouse and Stiles had to crane his neck to look to the topmost floors.

“This is yours, isn’t it?” He breathes, staring up before glancing back at Derek.

“It is. You want to come up? The view of the city is… Amazing.” Derek smiles, and he knows Stiles is going to say yes, knows that this night is leading somewhere he never anticipated, but can’t stop.

“I’d like nothing more,” Stiles said, and he took Derek’s hand and ran off towards the building.

They wasted no time once they were in the elevator, bodies wound around each other, lips clashing. Derek’s suitcoat hit the floor first, followed closely by Stiles jacket and then his tie.

When they reached the top floor Stiles already had one leg wrapped around Derek’s back, shirt unbuttoned giving Derek easy access to lick and bite at the cluster of freckles at the juncture of shoulder and neck.

Derek hiked the other leg around him, effortlessly carrying Stiles through the penthouse and towards the bedroom, never breaking contact.

They fell over the side of the bed, kicking their shoes off as they made out, hips grinding together. There was no need to ask, the desire was clear in their gaze, in the heated touch.

Stiles hands went underneath Derek shirt, rucking it up to feel the warm muscle, the chiseled abs. When Derek pulled it all the way off he licked his lips as he stared at the shock of chest hair, his mouth darting up to lick and nibble at a nipple.

Derek groaned, the noise rough and uncontrollable as his hand carded Stiles’ hair. He rocked his hips, desire clearly evident before pulling back.

Standing up he quickly undid his belt as Stiles the same. His pants fell to the floor, leaving Derek in just his tight black briefs, a designer label of his own brand that left very little to the imagination. Even one as wild as Stiles’.

For his own part Stiles had flannel patterned trunks on beneath his suit, kicking his pants onto the floor for Derek to brush aside.

Derek toed off his socks before climbing into bed over Stiles. They kissed for what felt like hours, trading positions as Stiles rolled on top, slotting their hips perfectly to rut against each other’s thigh.

When Derek finally rolled Stiles onto his back again and began to kiss down his jaw, his neck, towards his chest and abs Stiles’ body shuddered in anticipation. Derek stilled, kissing a line along Stiles waistband before the other man nodded. A grin split Derek’s lips and he hooked his fingers in the fabric, slowly tugging it down, kissing his way all down Stiles thighs and legs before tossing the underwear away.

He planted kisses back up Stiles firm legs, across both his thighs before coming to rest between them. Derek smirked as best he could as he heard Stiles whimper and moan at his ministrations, looking up to catch the way the flush spread from his cheeks down to his pale chest, only covered by a smattering of hair there.

Stiles fingers curl into Derek’s hair at the same time his other hand clutches the sheets. “Fuck!” He groans, feeling on edge already. He’s almost relieved when Derek pulls away to slip that last piece of cloth off.

Now Stiles has never thought little of himself in the bedroom, but seeing Derek in all his glory he realizes it’s not just Derek’s endowment for the arts that is sizable. He bids Derek to straddle his chest, and once he does so reaches up to take him in his mouth. Stiles allows Derek to set the pace, his hands on the man’s well defined cheeks, keeping it steady.

“I wish… I wish we could…” Derek moans, trying desperately to embed the image of Stiles like this in his mind, even as his eyes try to clench shut in pleasure.

Pulling off, Stiles uses his hand for a moment as he looks up at Derek. “We can.”

“But… are you…? Because I’m not…” Derek trails off, tips of his ears pink.

“Yeah,” Stiles answers, “I mean I wasn’t expecting but… a man can dream right?”

Derek laughs at that, bending down to kiss Stiles, playful and overjoyed. He reaches to the nightstand, grabbing what they need as the lovers continue to kiss and caress, bodies pressed together in sensuous bliss.

He opens Stiles easy, pace languid and relaxed. When he’s ready, Derek kisses him, makes sure he’s comfortable before taking his place between his thighs. Stiles pulls Derek into a fiery kiss, gasping into his mouth as his body accepts Derek inside. They make love slowly, gently at first, like nothing either has ever experienced with another.

Derek caresses him, soft and gentle in a way neither of them expected. As he moved within Stiles, the younger man quiets for the first time in the night. Of course, Derek should have known it wouldn’t last for long.

“Shit, I can’t believe I’m in bed with Derek Hale,” Stiles sighs out on a moan, fingernails dragging down Derek’s back, miniscule red lines tracking behind them.

Derek just huffs out a laugh as he thrusts harder, his lips finding a spot in the hollow of Stiles neck, just above a cluster of freckles and sucking hard enough the bruise.

“Can’t… can’t believe I’m getting dicked down by Batman,” Stiles gasps. “You’re so fucking good, damn!”

It takes a moment to sink in, but once it does Derek stills entirely, bodies still locked together intimately. He stares down at Stiles in shock; face a mask of confusion in the dark of the night, only illuminated by pale moonlight streaming in through a crack in the curtains.

“I’m not Batman,” he says seriously, too seriously he realizes after a beat. “That’s ridiculous!” He laughs, but the sound is hollow, forced. It doesn’t do anything to sway Stiles, not that it would have even if it were believable.

“Yeah, you are…” Stiles finally replies, lying on his elbows to get a better look at Derek. “It’s pretty obvious up close, and makes a lot of sense.”

“I’m not Batman…” Derek repeats; he’d pull away, but Stiles legs are still locked tight around his waist, his hips kissing the man’s supple ass.

Stiles rolls his eyes, chuckling to himself. His hand runs up Derek’s chest, catching on a nipple for a moment before sliding to cup his cheek. “It’s ok; I’m not going to tell anyone. Don’t worry; your secret is safe with me Bats.”

Derek grits his teeth; he’s getting angry now because this is the closest anyone has gotten in a long time. He’s not sure if it’s the closeness to him or to finding out his identity that he takes most concern with. “I’m NOT Batman!” He says once again, more forceful now.

“See, right there. It’s when you get intense; your voice drops all emotion. Your eyes are analyzing me, like you see through me. I’d know these lips anywhere, your little bunny teeth. You remember? That was the first time I met you, the first thing I noticed up close. And then I met your other half, Derek Hale, and it was the first thing I noticed then too. Some five o’clock shadow, a fake smile and a tailored suit doesn’t change what I can see.”

Stiles’ smile is soft, knowing as he looks at Derek. “Besides whoever is Batman has all these gadgets and cars and shit. They’d have to have a lot of money. They’d need to be in insanely good shape. They’d have to be free to do whatever they want without people watching their movements. It all adds up, I was surprised it took me so long to put it together and actually believe it... And then when I did, well, I wanted you to know you could trust me Derek. That I wouldn’t rat you out. I care about you, what you’re doing for this city is something great. It’s a burden you didn’t need to put on yourself, not with all that you already do outside of the cape. But you do it anyway.”

Derek should leave. He should deny it again, get up and never look back, but all he can see is earnest concern and affection in Stiles’ eyes. All he can feel is the same pull that drew him here tonight growing stronger. For all that could go wrong, the little part of him that is Derek Hale the man and not Batman yearns for something normal. Something that’s all his, and not his counterpart’s, and maybe, just maybe, that’s Stiles.

Without saying another word Derek dives in for a kiss, passionate and deep. His tongue twists around Stiles, battling for dominance before Stiles gives as good as he gets and they find a sensuous balance. His hips pull back before snapping forward, the moan that rolls off Stiles’ tongue and down Derek’s throat a small victory.

He pushes Stiles to his limits, tests his own endurance and keeps him occupied as much out of genuine desire as to stymie the other man’s incessant chatter. For all his playboy status Derek doesn’t indulge in these carnal delights often, but even he can’t deny this is the best he’s ever had.

Stiles is the best he’s ever had.

When it’s over, when their bodies are stuck together from more than just sweat, he doesn’t leave like he usually would. Derek stays; he looks at Stiles and for once really sees him, for all his parts and not just as a potential threat, as another mark, as a citizen he has to protect, but as something else. Something hard to define for someone like him, but so important he can’t ignore it.

When he finally rolls off, Stiles is still riding the tail end of his high, sated and fucked out, a bit exhausted but in the best way possible. He turns to speak and Derek puts a finger to his lips. “Tomorrow, please… let me just sleep next to you. I don’t want to ruin this.”

Derek’s voice is softer than Stiles has ever heard it, cautious, optimistic he thinks. It makes him smile and nod, licking the man’s finger playfully before cuddling closer.

Stiles rests his head on Derek’s chest, fingers scratching at the hair there. His lips kiss one firm pectoral, soft and delicate. A smile crosses his lips as he looks up at Derek once more before settling down. It doesn’t take long for Stiles to drift off to sleep, one leg thrown over Derek casually. What’s most surprising is how fast Derek falls asleep with Stiles in his arms. How easy it is to let the rest of the world fall away, to quiet that nagging voice in his mind and for Derek to just relax into the bed, close his eyes, and sleep restfully for the first time in a long time.

Chapter 7: A Bright New Day

Stiles wakes up slowly, fingers clenching around empty air and bed sheets. A disgruntled noise bubbles up from his throat and his eyes flutter open, blinking against the first rays of light. When he finally can see he notices Derek is missing and his heart drops, only to turn his head to the window and notice Derek is still there.

He stands in all his glory in front of the full length window, gloriously toned ass on display as he looks out across the city.

Derek doesn’t move to turn around, but he says “good morning” all the same.

Stiles sits up in bed, still luxuriating in the downy blankets, relieved Derek isn’t gone after last night.

“Morning Derek,” he says, a soft smile spreading on his cheeks. He slips out of bed and walks up behind Derek, letting his arms encircle the slightly broader man, resting his head between those sculpted shoulder blades.

One hand comes to rest over Stiles’, holding it firm to his middle. Derek smiles, starting slow and cautious before relaxing into something deeper, something open and honest. He turns in Stiles arms, cupping his cheeks and kissing him.

It’s delicate, not like the steamy, impassioned kisses of last night, and not like the cautious and reserved kisses before sleep. No, this is something entirely different.

“I think I’m falling in love with you…” Derek whispers against Stiles lips, feels the other man smile as they kiss.

“I think I’ve been in love with you,” Stiles answers, his hand sliding up Derek’s toned back, feeling the expanse of smooth muscle as he pulls back just enough to look into his eyes. “I’m in love with all of you Derek. You don’t need to hide anything from me.”

It still catches Derek off guard how simply Stiles puts it, like him being Batman is just another night job. The absurdity of that make him laugh, a low chuckle that has him shaking his head.

“I know you are. And I… I don’t want to hide anymore, at least not from you. But there is so much about my life you don’t know, so much to learn, to deal with. There is danger, for me and my family, for those in love if who I really am ever got out. You will… you will worry about me when I’m gone, and I don’t know if you’re ready to deal with this Stiles.”

Stiles makes an offended noise at that, smacking Derek’s chest lightly. “Derek, my dad was a cop. You think I don’t know what it’s like to worry that someone you love might not make it home each night? Yes, I’ll be worried, and I’m sure there is a lot I don’t know. But one thing you should know is that when you love someone, you’re always afraid for them. That doesn’t mean you stop loving them, it means you love them more, love them harder, keep them close and enjoy every minute because you never know when it could be your last. And as for learning, well, I’m a quick study.”

Derek shakes his head, casting his eyes away before he’s pulled right back to those whiskey eyes. “How? How can you make me feel this way after all this time? Like maybe, like maybe Batman doesn’t have to be the only side of my life. Like maybe there can be more…”

“Because I’ve totally fallen for you Derek Hale. Batman. Whichever moniker you want to use, I’m here. I know what it’s like to lose family, to feel powerless. I know what it’s like to see the law fail, to wish for someone or something to bring justice where it’s deserved. I may not be able to understand everything about you, not yet anyway, but I know what’s inside here,” he rests a hand over Derek’s heart, “and I want to know more. I want to know everything. I will never try to change you or make you stop your mission. All I ask is to be allowed to come along for the ride Derek.”

And that’s all it takes. He thought it would be harder, impossible even for someone to break down his walls, to make him feel this way. But Stiles is a master of the impossible, and even if he knows it will take time, that there will be bumps along the way, he can’t imagine anyone else trying so hard for him. Can’t imagine feeling this way about another person.

“Come home with me. Meet my family, see the Hale mansion,” he says on a whim, surprising himself.

Stiles eyes light up and he's nodding before he can even speak. “I’d love to!” He says, kissing Derek excitedly. “Waiiiiiiiit, does this mean I get to see the Batcave?!”

Derek should have expected that. He just laughs and kissed Stiles, heading him towards the shower.

“No, seriously, I want to see the Batcave. I’ve heard stories…”

“Play things cool and I might even let you inside the Batcave,” Derek laughs.

“Well you’ve already been in my Batcave, I think it’s only fair I’m returned the favor,” Stiles teases, wiggling his eyebrows.

Derek raises his own in response, giving him a skeptical look before breaking into a grin. “I’d like for you to come in my Batcave. Both of them.” He smirks and winks at Stiles and it’s probably the dorkiest and hottest thing he’s ever heard.

As they get in the shower, hands exploring each other’s bodies as their mouths do the same, the water cascades over them.

“I love you Derek,” Stiles whispers.

“I love you too Stiles,” Derek answers, and he knows it’s true. And for the first time in a long time Derek feels something new, not just love, but hope. For the city, for the future, and most importantly, for himself.

#jeangvrey #stereksanta17 #*fic17 #*gifts17

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celebritytgcaptions · 7 years ago

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Requests (11/14/17)

These are all the requests I’ve gotten in the last week! Thank you lovelies! And don’t forget you can submit a celebrity tg caption now too! :D

Anonymous said:

Possibly do a caption, set in a dystopian like world? One where the Kardashians have taken over the world or US. Bois who were deemed to "small" are being rounded up and being turned into kardashianesque girls? Then sent to a Private Academy taught by Headmistress Kris. You can choose any celeb that has that look. Think this type of world might be fun to me at least.

Ooo, that does sound fun! I’ll see what I can do. ;)

Anonymous said:

not sure if you'd do this. Think you could do a bit of a darker caption? Not really sure what the subject matter would be.

I’ve got a few requests for “darker” captions so hopefully something I’ll turn out in the next few weeks will be to your liking. :)

Anonymous said:

I saw your answer to my request where you said it was a Femdom cap and not a TG cap, what if the mistress herself (Taylor Swift) was a sissy and is still talking to the reader like I described in my last request and telling the reader how to be like her?

That could work. I’ll see what I can do! :)

Anonymous said:

Not sure if you'd do a cap of her since she's technically not a celebrity. Think you could do one of Bianca Beauchamp?

I don’t know who that is. Sorry hon. :(

Anonymous said:

If you can find the right pics could you do a caption where a boi has been turned into a sissy by Jennifer Connely. If not a caption using a pic of her from the Rocketeer

I googled it to make sure, but Jennifer Connelly WAS 21 in The Rocketeer so yes!

Anonymous said:

Bit of a Sci-Fi request. Fanboi won't stop bothering Olivia Wilde about her role as Quora in Tron. So somehow Olivia puts the boy in her computer and he looks like Quora. Olivia is now free to alter the boy into her perfect sissy plaything. Starting with his bad attitude.

OMG, that’s kinda hawt! I like it! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do another Saturdays cap? There's one of Emma Watson as Hermione in a pink dress against a door, with tears in her eyes. Could you make it where Bellatrix has captured some poor muggle boi and is turning him into her bimbo sissy plaything as a roundabout way of getting revenge on Hermione?

I think I know the cap your’e talking about. I’ll give it a shot! :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a Dua Lipa cap? 😊

Sorry, sweetie, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Could you do a sequel to Good Girls Gone Bad?

Hmm, I’ll see what I can do. ;)

Anonymous said:

Caption with Megan Fox in the school uniform from Ninja Turtles. Guy was a teacher who wanted to tear down a sorority filled with disruptive students in his class. Now he's there student learning to be a good sorority girl/slave and he's so naughty he always gets spankings?

I’ve already got a cap with Megan Fox in that costume right here. I’ll try to see if I can’t find a different one though!

Anonymous said:

Mariah Carey has trapped a boy as her sissy assitant. Her attitude is one of complete subservience and is the girliest thing to ever walk the planet. Though inside he wants to be far far away from her. Mariah knows this and plans to drag him deeper into femininity where he will never escape

Anonymous said:

Think you could do something sorta dark with Mariah Carey as a stepmom or aunt?

Anonymous said:

If it's not trouble could you do a two part caption with Mariah Carey? Maybe she captured a boy who was mean to her. Has feminized him. He complains and wants to be turned back but she merely makes his outfits girlier when he does this. In the second one she's had enough and is going to make him permenantly a girl. If possible make it strict but playful

So there are a few different Mariah Carey requests in this batch of requests. Mariah Carey was recently accused of sexual harassment so I’m going to keep from writing caps with her for a while. This could very well be temporary, there’s a chance these accusations could hold no weight, but just for the time being until we know more there’s going to be a possibly temporary embargo on Mariah Carey caps. Sorry guys. :(

Anonymous said:

Hey, can you do a caption using a Lindsay Lohan photo from mean girls where a guy decides to dress up as a girl and go to the school, and the plastics pick him up and turn him into a girly girl just like the rest of them. Thanks.

Totes! I always LUV a good Mean Girls cap! :D

Anonymous said:

Can you make one where a guy named wants to start up a new version of the Playboy Mansion, and ends up as a dumb giggly bimbo bunny girl?

Oh absolutely! I got at on of celebs I can pick for that. ;)

@sir-sporkman said:

Can you do something with Joey king, guy (sam) keeps getting called Samantha teasing day after day and he said one day why don't you just make me into one

So I was surprised to see that Joey King IS eighteen now. Whoa, I feel so old! If I can find a good enough pic of her after her 18th birthday, then totes! :D

Anonymous said:

Plz make a game about panties and captions about bbw girls

I actually have a Panty Drawer Game right here. And I’ll make an effort to include more BBW women.

Anonymous said:

I haven't seen a basic white bitch caption in a while. Could you do one where you incorporate Sissy Co.'s pumpkin spice Lattes from "Pink is a Fall color?"

Well, Christmas IS cumming up. Maybe Sissy Co. has a peppermint latte? ;)

Anonymous said:

Think you could do a caption where a mean older brother is going off to college. The younger sister doesn't want him to go because he'll get away without paying for what he's done so she feminizes him into being her loyal sissy doll? Not sure what celeb you could use though

This’ll just be a matter of finding the right pic, so if I can I will! :)

Anonymous said:

Would you please do more caps of goddess Nicki Minaj. Like she's the president of the US, and she declared a new rule "let's make America cute again" This law aims to empower females and to feminize males, so boys must loose their anal virginity to females or they'll get their cocks locked forever.

Hmmm, I like it! Maybe it has series potential. ;)

Anonymous said:

There's a pic of Daisy Ridley smiling into a mirror. Think you could do a caption where a boi's inner sissy has taken hold ans trapped his unssisy self inside?

Sure thing! She’s such a cutie, I luv her. :)

Anonymous said:

There's a pic of Ariana Grande with her in a white dress and gogo boots, legs crossed, with her holding the edges of the skirt. IMO perfect for a sissy cap. Maybe the boi's mistress is teasing him and is having him try the dress on and he's pouting a bit.

I think I know the pic you’re talking about. There’s a chance I’ve used it already but if not I can totally do this!

Anonymous said:

I saw you said you were allowed to use any of Saturdays pics. There's this amazing one with Selena she has freckles and bucked teeth. Think you could do that one. Maybe the sissy was really bad and her mistress has changed her to punish her and humiliate her. The sissy lisps every word they try.

I’m hesitant to use that one because I think Selena is in a nursery. I don’t really do infantilization caps on here, or at least caps that infantilize THAT much. I’ll take a second look at the image just to make sure, but right now I’m just going to say maybe.

Anonymous said:

No offense to any of her fans that like her. Though in my opinion I always thought Taylor Swift was kind of snobby and looked down on others. Could you do a caption where she turned down a boy and turns him into a sissy but just looks down upon him and is constantly changing his looks due to being a perfectionist?

I could do this, sure. ;)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption with Lucy Hale and Holly Marie Combs? They played daughter and mother on TV. Holly has turned her naughty stepson into a hypnotized sissy and is about to remove the hypnosis to show what she's done to him

Sorry to send two in a row. If you can find a pic with Holly, Lucy and another girl. Can you do a seperate caption as well. Where a mother and daughter took a neighborhood troublemaker and turned him into a demure obedient sissy maid?

So I can do the Lucy Hale & Holly Marie Combs pic, BUT I don’t think I can do one where they turn a boi into a maid because I can’t find a pic of them WITH a celebrity dressed as a maid. But totes will do the first one!

Anonymous said:

Caption with Lacey Chabert turning her nephew staying with her into a perfect plastic? She wants him to be her dolly

Sure thing! Just gotta find a good pic. :)

Anonymous said:

I've always seen Anne Hathaway as very smart. I don't know if she is, she just comes across as such. Think you could do one where she's a teacher and she's teaching a sissy look alike? The sissy isn't very smart making Ms. Hathaway give her lots of sissy spankings?

We’ll see. I can’t think of a pic that would work for this but I’ll look for one.

Anonymous said:

What about one where a guy decided to go en femme to a vacation trip. Just because he was curious and wanted to try it as a one time thing. But then one clothe led to another, the touch of his shaved skin excited him, then he bough new accessories to improve his look, by the end he does not want to go back (demi lovato have some swimsuit selfies on her instagram that I think might fit in this caption)

Oh, totally! Luv it! :D

Anonymous said:

You know u give a bit of life to some of our fantasies, right? So, here is mine. A guy named Pedro feels trapped in his life. Nobody knows, but he is hiding his true self. But every once in awhile he goes a step further, he starts shaving, let his hair grow, try make up at home. Falling down the rabbit hole. One day he might may let Alicia (his new name) come out. Can you use a JLaw pic? Thank you :) I LOVE your tumblr, I made a lot of requests in the last few months and it is so much fun!

Awww, thank you! I’m glad you like it! :) And sure, I can totally do this!

Anonymous said:

What about a science experiment that went wrong? (Maybe a sissy co. Lab?)The scientist was accidentaly exposed to a gas that transformed him into a girl. The effect was to last a few hours, but he started to like it and made the change permanent. Emma Stone was a scientist in amazing spider man

LUV Emma Stone & I LUV Gwen Stacy! Totally! :D

@addicted-to-tg said:

Looked at your list of celebs and was baffled that Courtney Cox wasn't on there! What what what?!? I guess I'll take one for the team. Would you be ok with doing a Courtney Cox TG cap, maybe based off how she looked in Season One of Friends? Maybe the setup can be a girlfriend giving her boyfriend a potion and the end result is the picture. I dunno, a bit vague, but I'd love to see what you come up with. Thanks so much, keep doing what you do, you. You're great at it.

Ooo, I’ve never thought of early season “Friends” Courtney Cox! I’ve tried writing a cap with her a few times but just couldn’t find the right pic. I’ll give this a shot! And thanks! :D

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lezzybugo3o · 7 years ago

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Breath of the Wild Halloween Costumes (and a tiny quick psa)

Hello, my goblins, ghouls, and nonboonary pals! Happy Halloween! Yes, it is that time again to munch on candy, dress up as something scary/fun/a character, and of course, watch spooky stuff like The Nightmare Before Christmas and Hocus Pocus (I’m a bit of a puss on this night, so anything dealing with Halloween is just fine). Anywho, I got to thinking as usual and I wanted to share some adorable and fun Breath of the Wild costume ideas for the characters, so here we go!

Riju would definitely fit as a mummy in wraps. She made sure to only let the wraps on her arms dangle. After all, she wouldn’t want to keep stumbling on the ones on her feet. Yunobo would dress up as Frankenstein’s monster. He thought of going as a ghost, but then he thought it would be too scary for him... that and it would be easier for someone to sneak up on him. Teba wouldn’t normally dress up for Halloween, but after much convincing from Saki and his boy, he decided to go as the Dark Knight himself, Batman. Saki would go as Wonder Woman because strong and pretty for the win! Tulin would be Robin to complete the look with his super parents. Sidon had the hardest decision for this holiday. He loved the idea of dressing as a vampire, but he also wanted to go as Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle (I imagine his family would LOVE Studio Ghibli films :3). After a lot of thinking, he decided to combine the two and become... Howl the Vampire! (two hotties for the price of one) Paya would just stay at home in a bunny costume (not the Playboy one), maybe hand out some candies to the little kiddies. Impa and Purah would be dressed as Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger respectively. (probably to ward off any guys trying to hit on Paya) Urbosa would be dressed as a police officer because who doesn’t love a woman in uniform? (I know I do ;3) Daruk, given his hardy self, would be a perfect pirate. Just imagine this jolly guy going ‘Yar har har!’ Revali... okay to be honest, I couldn’t decide whether to have him be Spiderman or Deadpool. Deadpool would work for his snarky attitude, but I also thought of him flying around singing, ‘Spiderbird, Spiderbird, flying around like a Spiderbird should, is he better than that fool Link? Yes he is ‘cause he’s a bird~ Look oooout, he is a Spiderbird’ XD Mipha, carrying the family theme of studio Ghibli characters, would be San from Princess Mononoke. King Dorephan was fairly tricky, but he dressed up as Cat Bus from My Neighbor Totoro. He loved giving hugs to those who came by the Domain. Muzu, after a LOT of convincing from Mipha and Sidon, dressed up as No Face from Spirited Away. Zelda settled on being a witch and made lot of ‘potions’ for the full effect. Link decided to be a werewolf. He’s not entirely sure why, but it just felt right to him. (perhaps an influence from his ancestry?) And finally, for an OC that I plan to reveal soon: This little one wanted to dress up as a black kitty cat. Of course, because she was young, Link and Zelda had to supervise her as she went around collecting candies. It was easier said than done since she had a lot of energy... almost as much energy as Link had.

And there you have it! Hope you all liked it and I hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween. A quick little psa to pet owners though: please please PLEASE keep your pets inside on this spooky holiday, especially those of you who have black cats. Wouldn’t want them getting hurt or killed by superstitious numbskulls. Anyways, Happy Halloween to you all!

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juleshq · 5 years ago

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JULES .

* / BASICS

full name: juliana kaia dicaprio

nicknames: jules

age & dob: twenty-one , august 14th , 1998

place of birth: long island , new york .

sexuality: bisexual

bender: cisfemale

* / MORE BASIC INFO

languages: english, french, some spanish.

religion: catholic

education: high school , majoring in biology at stanford

occupation: unemployed

drinks, smokes, & drugs: all of the above

* / PERSONALITY

zodiac sign: leo

likes: dark chocolate , tea in the morning , white roses , instigating bad situations , wine , black coffee , the smell of freshly brewed coffee , talking with strangers , long travels , adventures , being called “ angel ” , popcorn , quick tex responders , products made with silk , athletes , crime shows / films , crowded rooms , glitter .

dislikes: fake designer bags , people who don’t know how to lie , f , people who wear pearls regularly , long text messages , voicemails , men who are cheap , people who chew with their mouth open , humming , thrift shops , water-poof mascara , the smell of grass , extensive planning , and arrogance & stupidity combined .

bad habits: breaking promises to herself & others , not thinking before doing , fixating with her hair when nervous .

secret talent: juggling

fears: aging terribly , being widowed , drowning , being buried alive .

positive traits: alluring , convincing , affectionate , ambitious / devoted , systematic .

negative traits: manipulative , conniving , deceitful , dishonest , subjective .

* / APPEARANCE

tattoos: dagger on right index finger , “ devil ” on left index finger .

piercings: three in each ear , cartilage .

* / FAMILY INFO.

parent names: claire boucher & david dicaprio .

parent relationship: divorced .

sibling names: annalise , ashton , keller , & wade .

sibling relationship: step siblings & half .

children: none .

pets: 2 family dogs on her moms side.

* / BIOGRAPHY

i’m sorry it got long

𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄𝐑’s entire childhood was spent in the spotlight -- her father was a huge rockstar in the 70's & 80's, and her mother a model . Claire spent her childhood between Florida , California , and New York , attending red carpets , premieres , etc. Claire attended Stanford to obtain a bachelor in science but was in and out of modeling in her teens and early twenties .

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐃 𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐎 lived an affluent life more under the radar . His grandfather is CEO of JD banking , one of the four largest banks in the world . He attended Princeton as the rest of his family did . He got involved in the company business at a very young age as did his brothers , but went on to become the new CEO after his fathers unfortunate passing in 2002 .

𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 was and will forever be her parents pride & joy . her parents were high school sweethearts & got married young -- at a twenty-two / twenty-three . they had been trying for two years to start their own family but jules’ mother struggled . thanksgiving in the hamptons , a dicaprio family tradition the day is engraved in her mothers memory , in 1997 , they announced to their family that after years of trying , they were pregnant .

𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 grew up completely pampered ; bi-weekly trips to the nail salon with her mother and annual father-daughter trips . her mother was her best friend until she began morphing jules into what she thought was perfect . making sure she spoke at least one other language , was active in school , extracurriculars , how she presented herself . her mother cared about image due to her own childhood of growing up in the spotlight . besides the near brainwash to fit her mother’s image of perfect , everything was ideal & ‘ normal ’ up until the summer before her freshman year of high school . her mother discovered the affair her father had been having for months with a woman he did business with . he claimed it was due to the fact that jules’ mother had returned to some normalcy and wanted to work again , modeling and doing some traveling , therefore he ‘ just missed her around ’ . jules was aware of everything going on , heard the countless nights they spent arguing in the opposite wing of the house , she picked up on her father being late to family dinner because “ he had work to do ” . her parents tried their best to keep her in the dark for the sake of her sanity , innocence , and view on her father . jules went along with it all , the daddy’s girl in her was in denial for all of the months leading up to their divorce . at the end , her mother got full custody of her .

𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐄 came two “ yes ” parents . everything became a competition between the two , trying to one up the other ; who took jules on the better summer vacation , had the most over the top christmas morning , etc . it was insanely manipulative & jules there wasn’t a time period where jules felt more alone ; not having a sibling to relate to , she was embarassed to tell her peers the real reason why her parents split , it was so cliché . both parents didn’t take too long to remarry , her father found another stay-at-home wife and her mother lucked out with a lawyer ten years older than she . her step-father had two daughtes & son with whom jules hated in the beginning – it was a lot to take in and she was used to being the only child . her father went on to have a child with his new wife two years after their marriage . it was all an immense amount of change within seven years .

𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 for jules had been constantly changing since the news of her father’s affair , she’d spend her summers & holiday’s going back & forth between each parents in the hamptons until her father moved to calabasas to be closer to his wife’s family as soon as the baby was born . jules had always been a wild , reckless child at heart and the divorce between her parents only allowed her to push her limits even more . the two-three years her parents spent processing their divorce were her golden years -- she could not get in trouble with her parents and they never got upset with her . she took advantage of it all and abused drinking , hanging out with boys , you name it . she loved the attention she received from any male figure -- it made up for the lack of attention she was getting from her father once he got the boot .

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐄 was where jules found her safe space ; she could be her wild self , far away from home and only a five hour drive from her father that she still rarely sees . she joined a sorority , joined the exec board , was forced to join french club by her mother , all while maintaining a 4.08 gpa .

* ` 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐄 jules has always been a wild child . she’s always had a desire for attention , all eyes & attention on her , though the B I R T H of her uncontrollable desire for attention from males stemmed after her parents divorce . the lack of attention from her father allowed her to realize her dad wasn’t the only one who could spoil her & every man was basically the same . she’s not super close with either of her dads at the moment and sees her father about three times a year , two of which are holidays & every now and then the spontaneous visit from him in cali .

𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 is a h u g e cry baby in the sense that she hates not getting what she wants . its not on purpose most of the time , it’s the way she was raised and the nature of her parents . she’s never had to ask for anything twice & hates doing so . though she’s a huge cry baby , she will try her best to mask her actual tears . she does a good job of seeming innocent , she’s that one friend that is super sus & lies a lot & keeps secrets but somehow is so good at convincing people other wise ? she’s a huge flirt , even when she’s not doing it on purpose , it’s sort of a weird practice or habit she’s grown into ? she feels empowered in the weirdest way of owning men and being able to form their opinion of her for them , this stems from her newly founded daddy issues it’s more so due to the fact that her relationship with her father began to diminish once he moved out . she is & has been on her “ fuck love ” rampage .

𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 do whatever she wants and will hide her bad intentions . she lives for chaos , loves enjoys pushing limits & boundaries . she loves a game of cat & mouse / teasing just knowing she has someone in her grip is what helps her sleep at night . she is a bit crazy . . . the type to watch someone’s snap score go up . def that type to block and unblock someone 238473 timES . she has an underlying need of approval from others and she almost needs to be liked by everyone she meets .

𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 she wants to model & be a playboy bunny BUT her dad would literally disown her if she didn’t follow her family legacy and attend stanford or yale to use her brains for good . she’s in school to be a pediatrician because at the end of the day she loves children and always wanted to seek a job in the healthcare field . she has plans to attend yale’s medical school after her senior year is complete at stanford .

i really based her off of american beauty & angela in the movie ( if you’ve seen it omg ily ) g

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the-master-cylinder · 5 years ago

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When you were a child did you dream of becoming a model/ actress or was it just something that happened? Bobbie Bresee: Well, to make a long story short… (how far back do you want me to go)… My mom always wanted to be an actress (plays in college was the closest she came). I did a few plays and got the “bug”. Fresh out of college (bachelor of Science) at Auburn University – I headed for Hollywood and landed a Playboy Bunny job for 5 years. A rotten job, but somebody had to do it! TV roles of one word graduated to one line and so on… until all this “horror stuff” came about. I’m a real “horror fan” so it came quite easy. However, I’m the one who likes to do the scaring, not to be scared.

Tell us about your memories of being a Playboy Bunny. Bobbie Bresee: It was the most exciting time of my life. I spent five years there; most kids only spent a year or two. I ended up being a manager type at the gift shop. It was the best time I ever had. The original Bunnies were one of a kind. It was really kind of interesting, they were all in show business. The club I was involved with was on Sunset Strip, so everyone who came in was a celebrity.

Is there an encounter that stands out? Bobbie Bresee: I was the door Bunny, wearing the ears and tail, and during Christmas we had to wear rabbit tops — it was really darling. This one time a huge entourage pulled up, and I had to greet the people coming in. I said, “I’m sorry you can’t get in without a key.” And he said, “Oh yes I can.” And they just started bursting in and I ran over to the manager because I have no idea who these people were. And later I found out it was Hugh Hefner! I thought “Oh my god they’re going to fire me!” He was the kindest person. You wouldn’t think he would be, but he was the kindest, most down to earth, humble man. He loved all the girls and he took care of them. He was a mentor to us.

Do you still keep in touch with the other Bunnies? Bobbie Bresee: It’s been about 40 years since then. We still try to connect, we still call every once and a while. I had a reunion at my house a little while back and all the girls came over. My husband was like, “Where are the Bunnies?!” I was like, “Honey, we don’t look like that any more!” I think I’m one of the oldest; I’m 70. It’s been that long. It’s incredible. It’s more than just a college reunion. It is closer than that; we were like a sorority.

What were you doing prior to MAUSOLEUM? Bobble Bresee: Prior to MAUSOLEUM… I had received a Bachelor’s Degree in Music and taught for two years – went shopping in Hollywood one summer – had lunch at the Playboy Club and never left!! I was a bunny for five years – had a ball… met a lot of people in show-business and was hooked!!

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How did you get involved with MAUSOLEUM and horror films in general and have you always been a fan of the genre? Bobble Bresee: Horror was my favourite genre of films. I loved to be scared to death. Forrest J. Ackerman was the one who said to try out for MAUSOLEUM. They wanted a brunette and in my audition I put red contact lenses in my eyes and dug my nails into the person I was reading with – and growled.

Did you have any objections to wearing gruesome makeup for your first starring role? Bobble Bresee: I approached the make-up as an adventure. Never having experienced the whole process I was naive to all the consequences – Yikes! The funny side was no one would sit next to me at lunch and they covered the mirror so I wouldn’t get depressed! It’s amazing how much character you come up with after looking in a mirror.

I understand your transformation from beauty to beast was quite an ordeal. Bobbie Bresee: John Buechler created the MAUSOLEUM monster. His original concept of my transformation started with a cast-mold months before filming… so he could apply the prosthetics that would fit exactly. It was put on with spirit gum! How does one remove it all.. acetone (and oil). Unfortunately the fumes alone bumed all the capilaries in my eyes and off to hospital I did go Not a pretty sight. It took a month to heal… then we returned to finish the film.

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Did you play all the monster scenes or was there an occasional stand in for the full drag monster parts? Bobbie Bresee: Stunt girls were used toward the end of the film because couldn’t wear the large contact lenses in my eyes anymore! Also, B Vale was the final demon. A rough job to wear that garbin 110 degree hear. The head alone weighed 30 pounds.

The man eating breasts were quite original, how was this effect performed? Bobbie Bresee: He nicknamed her “munching tits and well deserved. They were connected to air-compression tubes worked by three guys standing behind herl Thore word tubes coming out of her head and body both. I wasn’t on the set when the man monster was used. I did phase 1 and 2. It wasn’t saw the finished version did I realize what she did with her breasts.

John Buechler talked somewhat bitterly about his experiences in MAUSOLEUM, stating – “I hate the movie, I hate the people with it with the exception of Bobbie Bresee – she’s wonderful. The people did not know how to make a movie…” Do you have any comments about his statements or some feelings of your own on the matter? Bobbie Bresee: Hell, I have my own theories on all this. It was the producers first film… it wasn’t organized, all the money wasn’t there, they wasted a lot of film (enough to make 2 more MAUSOLEUM’s), changed to a second crew and director mid-stream, even the leading actor, who was to be played by Burt Ward of Bat Man fame.

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Were the make-up effects as strenuous on you this time around? Bobbie Bresee: I didn’t have to wear prosthetic pieces – my “dummy double” did all the tongue work. Can’t say I’m too crazy about those bends of facials. Even the hair on your face is taken off (& MAUSOLEUM).

I know MPM seems to have distributed it in America on a region-by-region basis. Bobbie Bresee: That’s exactly right. As a matter of fact, I was told that the reason movies open up in the southern areas is that they’d like to get a response from somebody, and if it’s good, then they open it up in the big cities – New York and L.A. and what not. And I wasn’t aware that when they did a distribution thing they did it region by region, but that’s the big reason, and if it doesn’t do too well they’ll pull it and then not spend the money on the big opening. (Some more small talk and the conversation shifts back to the make-up effects in MAUSOLEUM). To finish that story, we had the eyes in, we had the teeth in, we had all the prosthetic pieces in – it was like three a.m. and we finally stopped shooting. Everybody went home and I was left there to have my make-up taken off. Well, you never heard such hollering, it hurt so bad. My skin was all peeling off and my eyes were dead red from wearing the lenses too long, and that was like three hours later – six o’clock, and I was an absolute mess.

What was your reaction when you first heard that your performance in MAUSOLEUM had won an award, Best Actress’at the Paris Film Festival Of Sci-Fi and Fantasy? Bobbie Bresee: Shock… fatal shock! I have since found a wonderful coach (John Lehne) who said, after seeing MAUSOLEUM, I hadn’t developed a three-dimensional character. My reply was “Are you kidding – I barely got the words outlet alone develop a character”.

What was it like working on a Troma set and a film like the wonderfully titled SURF NAZIS MUST DIE? Bobbie Bresee: Peter George, producer and director of SURF NAZIS MUST DIE, was a USC film graduate – this was his first film, with his own money. If you know how difficult it is to get something like this accomplished (produce a film) then he gets four stars for this first attempt.

How did your part for GHOULIES come about? Bobbie Bresee: Buechler recommended me – I jokingly said it was because they already had a bust (cast mold) of me – anyone could have done the part. It’s very expensive to cast a bust (dental material!)

Besides playing in movies, you’ve played in television shows like Simon & Simon and the Fall Guy. After being on both sides of the fence, which do you like the best? Bobbie Bresee: Definitely horror. You have more freedom, and besides, the TV people only see me as a “dumb blonde” – I’d rather scare people to death!

You have worked with two generations of the Carradine family, John in METAMORPHOSIS and David in ARMED RESPONSE, how did they compare to each other and what were they like to work with? Bobbie Bresee: John Carradine was sexyl Can you imagine, during an interview I leaned in and he looked down my blouse and smiled. I looked at him quite differently after that. He was chain-smoking the whole time. I’m sure that probably added to his health problems. David on the other hand seems to be very low keyed – doesn’t smile much and loves his beer!

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I have heard that you had bad experiences working for Fred Olen Ray, was this the main reason that you formed your own production company with your husband?

Bobbie Bresee: Interesting that you picked up on that. Actually we were so disappointed in the way Fred Olen Ray put the video (METAMORPHOSIS/Evil Spawn) together – we had to go to court to get control so we could put out a better product. Fred cuts a lot of corners and it shows. The ‘ole saying “you get what you pay for also pertains in movie making. The version in the States is the one Fred put out – I’m still embarrassed about that. England got the revised edition.

I realize you have little free time but do you have any hobbies? Bobbie Bresee: I go to acting classes in my spare time. My drama coach, Rick Galters, is a certified genius and has coached a lot of the big stars today. I owe him a lot.

What’s the story behind your board-game business and how successful is it? Bobbie Bresee: “Pass Out” (an adult drinking game. Ed.) has been a successful board-game in the States for over twenty-five years. Frank (her husband) has fifteen board games on the market. As a matter of fact Games Trade Monthly’ of England reported that “Pass Out” was the #1 most popular board-game in all of the United Kingdom. It is currently sold in most big stores including the ‘adult games department’ of Harrods.

Do you have any goals… where will Bobbie Bresee be ten years from now? Bobbie Bresee: Well, like most actors, we hope to have continuous work (which is rare in this business). And dream of the “big break”. You really have to love acting to stay in it… the drop out rate is 97%. I’d like to make an Academy Award winning Horror film someday. Now, wouldn’t that be a first! Elsa Lancaster (BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN) once told me… “if you always play a monster, you can grow old and nobody will notice!” Sounds good to me!

From watching most of your films, It is plainly obvious that you are not a shy lady. Do you feel that all of your nude scenes are totally necessary for the plot or simply included to attract a young male audience? Bobbie Bresee: There are no two ways about it – nude scenes have nothing to do with the plot – it’s upsetting, exploitive and de-meaning. You have two choices – work or not!ll There are two-hundred girls waiting in the wings who are younger, better looking and willing to take over in a second. Since realising this inevitable dilemma I have found a coach, John Lehne from the Strasberg School in New York, to help me become a good actress. I had the “cart before the horse, I got work before I was ready. Luckily I’m working to repair that damage. I plan to stay a life-time in this business and there’s only one way to do it… study!

Even though you’ve only been in a couple of movies (that have been seen thus far you��ve obtained a army of fans practically overnight… how does that make you feel? Bobbie Bresee: And that’s the reason I don’t want to switch genre’s! I consider myself extremely lucky to have acquired them!

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY huffpost Fantasynopsis 4 (1991) Draculina Fearbook 1992

Bobbie Bresee “80’s Boob’s & Beasts” When you were a child did you dream of becoming a model/ actress or was it just something that happened?

#BABES

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