#and yes I’m Definitely Not Straight
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Ivanova: I did not spend my childhood carrying more chairs than I should have— out of spite— from my schoolteachers asking for help from some “big, strong boys” to rearrange the chairs in the room just to be confined by the stupidity of the patriarchy and its subsequent heteronormativity.
#babylon 5#b5#susan ivanova#incorrect babylon 5 quote#source: @therighthandofvengeance#she gets like half of the room's chairs in one round#yes I’m speaking as one of those girls who carried as many chairs as possible#and yes I’m Definitely Not Straight#also: Sheridan “interviews” her on how to maximize the amount of things one can carry at once#(only wear clothes with minimal— if any— pockets. learn how to hold all your essentials in a singular hand.)#he saw those kids fighting the patriarchy and he carries a respect for them greater than most#this also means that Sheridan carried around a few folding chairs for a few weeks on the station
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kind of interesting to me how the majority of popular tv shows with lgbtq+ relationships (or hinted at lgbtq+ relationships) all center around morally questionable characters. like for example some confirmed gay romances are stede and ed (our flag means death) and eve and villanelle (killing eve) and in both of these shows, both of the characters in the ship are murderers and arguably bad people. some not confirmed ones are hannibal and will (hannibal) and nandor and guillermo (what we do in the shadows). again they are all terrible people who continue to do terrible things throughout their respective shows. i guess to me it just kind of gives the message that yes, we can have gay couples, but they both have to be morally questionable and almost undeserving of our full admiration if that makes sense?? like if you’re lgbtq+ you have to be a bad person to go along with it.
just interesting to me that you always have to feel at least a little guilty when enjoying queer ships in media because of this.
#does this make sense???#i definitely could be reading too much into it but that’s just what it seems like to me sometimes#like why do they have to be a murdering cannibal as well as being gay???#what we do in the shadows#nandermo#hannibal#hannibal and will#killing eve#villaneve#our flag means death#ofmd#stede and ed#tv shows#media#gay representation#gay#lgbtq#someone tell me i’m not being crazy#and yes i understand there are shows like this with straight couples too#but they also have a huge amount of shows with perfectly respectable straight characters too#whereas gay couples don’t really have that many
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“Let’s Dance,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #21.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Artist: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight vol. 9#Moon Knight 2021#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Reese#Blade#Eric Brooks#what a delight! I hadn’t dared hope that we would get to see more of Blade (what with him being an Avenger now and all)#but I’m definitely glad that we do!#and ah yes of course…the Thematic Parallels#an interesting conversation to have right after Reese offered a more ethical option#keeping them both above the laws of beasts#but I appreciate this because it clear that Reese isn’t just some morality chain of pureness meant to keep Marc on the straight and narrow#they’re both their own people with equally complex internal lives#while Reese is dealing with the balancing act of trying to find humanity in vampirism (or if that’s even possible)#I’m reminded of that theme Mr. MacKay’s been developing of Moon Knight’s eventually losing their faculties with each resurrection#Marc and Reese can both I guess…just sort of lean on each other as they make their way#(that parallel I was drawing between Reese’s humanity-vampirism conundrum and Marc’s potentially grim fate makes me#want to some discuss the implications of??? is the sort of mindlessness of former Moon Knights a case of lost humanity????)
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they didn’t know i was gay but set the pic for the druggie groupchat to a selfie, w me fully limped
#stream#me#mama … that’s a limp wrist in a CARDIGAN#& they still think of straight - well ONE of them; OR TWO idk i told KP bc he was like ‘wait r u gay’ after he made a joke & i said ‘yea’#lol ALSKALKSLAKSLA HUT THEN HE BLACKED OUT LATER SO I MEAN#who knows what he remembered#GIRL#EARLIER DURING THIS I WAS FULLY KIKING W THIS GIRL THAT ASKED US FOR BACCY FOR A SPLIFF & I WAS LIKE ‘yes queen if ur sharin xx’#& then she did then she was like ‘can u buy us vodka ? x’ & i was like yea why not then found out they’re 17 ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA still#smoked weed but ugh adorbs i remember being 17#ALSKAKSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKLE#they GAVE me the money then i just bought it but still omg where was i going w this#GIRL OK THEY THOIGHT I WANTED HER NUMBER I WAS LIKE ?? why would i want her number ? 😭😭 girl i wanted the WEEEEDDDSD#like i shoulda got her DEALERS number#scream … anyway so this qat is DEFINITELY keepin me up i’m going to kill this mf#IT WAS SPRUNG ON ME TBF#i was just like ‘teehee are y’all chewin xx’ bc they were smoking downstairs & then they were lik ‘YEA WE R GOIN TO & SO R U’ & i was#owo ok !!#it was so fucking funny literally as they were picking up i was picking up weed then i got a call from him bc apparently they were yelling#but i was listening to music so i couldn’t hear 😭😭😭#& there’s a tree that blocks the bench they’re on so i couldn’t even see#i was on AutoPilot i was like :D weed
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dumbledore is a silly little old man who should be in jail
#first and foremost for literally killing his 14 year old sister#(yes yes maybe he didn’t do it yadda yadda I don’t care)#secondly for hiring hagrid as a care of magical creatures teacher when that man didn’t even do his magic gcses!!#he got expelled in third year which means he only finished up to second year. his knowledge only goes up to the equivalent of a magic year 8#that is definitely illegal like it has to be hagrid has absolutely no qualifications to speak of and I don’t care that he’s a lovely man#thirdly for beating up magical law enforcement in harry’s fifth year and also technically the prime minister#like r u serious that is so illegal#fourthly for running a vigilante club that I’m pretty sure was canonically illegal#and everyone knew he ran it as well like sure they did great things in both wars but it’s still fucking illegal#fifth for letting moody (crouch) use unforgivables in class and on students.#like I can’t believe they were like ‘u can never use these spells bc u go straight to azkaban’#but then immediately turn around and use them on 14 year olds for a class demonstration#like that is sooooo illegal they’re literally minors#and dumbledore I’m pretty sure is overall responsible for that shit so#sixthky for taking harry to a fun little excursion to a glowy magical cave of death#they literally need parental permission to go to fucking hogsmeade a wizards only village which is literally built around the school#like it is definitely illegal to be taking him on a trip anywhere let alone a life threatening one to a glowy death cave#seventhly for being chief warlock of wizengamot or sm like that and headmaster of hogwarts and a bunch of other important official roles#like. that should be illegal even if it wasn’t bc no one man should hold that much power bro r u serious#albus dumbledore#this is not against dumbledore this is against jkr and everything she stands#this specifically points out her inability to use her brain and think past plot holes ever#anti jkr#hp
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I feel like birth order is just scratching the surface here. I’m the oldest and my brothers and I have a good relationship with each other, but the key thing here is that we grew up in a stable home with loving parents. Parents who weren’t just partners but best friends, too. We learn so much from our parents, and I think that includes how to love.
If you grow up with parents who do nothing but yell at each other, it’s not too much of a stretch to believe it might affect your relationship with your siblings. And I’m also wondering if people who don’t get along make children who don’t get along? Like a genetic predisposition to hate each other? It’s interesting to think about…
My husband and I developed a theory so please play along and tell me where you are in birth order (oldest, middle, youngest, only) and if you think having siblings is overall a positive or negative thing.
#idk i’m just thinking#having younger siblings was definitely positive for me#i asked my youngest brother and he said yes straight away#(middle is not here and asleep so i didn’t ask him 😆)#so yeah i’m thinking the birth order thing is really not the variable to focus on here
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Me: I have real actual experience for this job.
Job: That’s pretty good. We’ll definitely consider you as a viable candidate.
Me: I can pass a drug test immediately and I’m reliable.
Job: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME WORK FOR US PLEASE PL-
#personal rambles#it didn’t go *exactly* like this lmao but it was definitely a huge factor in me getting the job#at the end of the interview the interviewer said he was impressed with me and liked my attitude#but that he was required to interview other candidates so they’d get back to me in a few weeks#and then an hour later I got a call from my recruiter saying I ‘blew them out of the water’ and they won’t be interviewing anyone else#I straight up almost cried and quit like five times tho#it was a rough fucking interview#two goddamn hours#if you’ve never done a welding interview it’s usually like. three parts?#the first part is standard talking interview#the second part is the welding test which can take anywhere from 15 minutes to a couple hours depending#I’m. stubborn? so I don’t think it usually takes that long??#but I was given scrap to run as many beads as I wanted and it was fucking stainless which I hadn’t done in four fucking years#so it was not up to my personal standards (I KNOW I can do better welds)#and it was so frustrating. hence. the almost crying. but I was like#this is free practice and worst case scenario I will impress them with my refusal to quit when it’s challenging#so I decided to keep running beads until they made me stop#and whaddya know I did in fact impress them#I even had issues with contamination (not actually my#my fault it was the equipment and another factor)#but what he was looking for was that I knew *how* to weld not necessarily good welds?#and I had fantastic penetration 😏 with no burn through and even and consistent welds#which again. not necessarily enough to get me the job. which is where my stellar personality and ability to pass a drug test come in#I’m not too worried about the actual job? it won’t all be stainless and I’ll also have training on the job#and I’m a quick learner.#but yes.#I have a job now!#yay!#(important bc my wife works at a chicken place for barely over min wage)
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#to delete definitely#lowkey but like were yall not around in 2012-2015?#fandom has ALWAYS been a shit show#fame has ALWAYS come with at a pretty nasty cost of privacy#like that’s even before the years i listed but like#is it that surprising that a lot of artists are like “’hey yeah this can be pretty shitty at times’#like it’s surprising me that yall are surprised??? especially at the list of artists named#like DUH they know??? it’s like ?????#but at the same time fandom IS parasocial by nature#at least i would say so#and while people could be waayyyyy less fucking invasive about it#fandom will probably always be just a bit parasocial#and streaming/charts/shooting for records over idk good music 🤪 (/hj) is not exactly helping the issue#and yes i would love for people to be less invasive of privacy#but this isn’t new??? why yall acting surprised?????#like lowkey yall really didn’t give a shit when it’s straight men being harassed lmao#which i’m sure someone will come back and say privlege or we’re talking about female/queer artists#which i mean is also a thing but likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#if i also mention that list is pretty fucking white?#but anyways#yall acting suprised by that article is kind of confusing to me
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“Batman, you need to-IS THAT A BABY ?!” - Batfam x Fem!reader
Synopsis : Bruce and Batmom bring their newborn daughter to the Watchtower, so she can meet their friends (or vice versa). Includes an overprotective Damian, League members who cannot believe the Batman is smiling, and other shenanigans.
Oop, I’m back (?). My dudes. It’s been TWO YEARS since I last posted here. Two. Years. I posted like, two life update...don’t know if some of y’all saw it, but long story short : I got married, I have a son now, and everything is going so well in my life that I didn’t really need the validation I got from writing online...Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, I still love writing. And so, after quite a long break, here I am :). Hope you will enjoy this, don’t hesitate to let me know if you do :
Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.
My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives
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“You’re evil, you know that right ?” You say, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my love.” He answers, a small smile on his lips. You turn to him and...Oh that smug look, that smug look you loved so much. He definitely DEFINITELY knew what he was doing.
And that it was utterly...evil.
“It’s going to be FUN !”
Ah, and here’s his little devil. Damian himself. He loved this. Partly because he thought it was funny to mess with everyone, partly because he liked showing that you guys were a family.
“They won’t believe their eyes !” His little voice kept going, followed by a big roar of laughter that sounded, by all means, more childlike than devilish.
“That they won’t, they always seem so surprised when Bruce acts like a human.”
Jason. Still not calling Bruce “dad” (except sometimes, by “accident”, and even him don’t realize he did), he’d only slowly been back at the manor, with all of you. And, for sure, a certain important event which happened about four months ago made it so he came back to live at home.
Dick chuckled and added : “Who would blame them ? We’re talking about a man who eats his burgers with a knife and fork !” He gestured to his father with his left thumb, his other hand shielding part of his mouth as if he was telling them all a secret, as if he was trying to be discreet, so his dad wouldn’t hear...Always quite the little clown, that eldest son of yours. With his exaggerated mannerism, and that sparkle in his eyes, in his smile.
“I’m certain some of them thought he was genuinely a cyborg for YEARS” Tim added, quite seriously, his tone the opposite of his older brother (and that was just his way of joking...you think). And honestly ? Yeah, you were pretty sure some of your friends at the JLA thought your husband was a robot, at one point.
Oh yes. That’s where you were going, to the JLA’s headquarters. To execute Bruce’s plan. Quite the evil plan indeed.
“Hell, even I thought he was one before I met you guys !” Duke chimed in, and that made Cassandra smile widely, as she shook her head up and down pointing at Duke as if to say : “what he just said”.
And in a very Bruce manner, your husband kept a straight face, ignoring his children’s teasing. Only you, saw that twinkle in his eyes, that smile that might not reach his mouth, but was definitely dancing in those bright blue eyes.
Oh yes. Yes, your friends were in for quite the surprise.
************
Meanwhile, in the Justice League headquarters :
“Oh, hey ! Look, Batman’s zeta tube is turning on ! We haven’t seen him in a while right ?”
Indeed they haven’t. Because, well, let’s put it this way : Batman’s wife just had a baby.
A baby girl (finally, right ? You and Cass weren’t TOO outnumbered anymore).
And Batman had been VERY busy doting over his baby girl.
Batman had been busy being Bruce Wayne.
Just a man, who thought he’d never be happy again, not knowing how to handle all those feelings he had for his wife (for you), for his children.
That was happiness then, right ?
So, yes. Batman hasn’t been much at the JLA’s headquarters lately. But your husband thought, it was finally time to go see his friends a little bit. He knew they were all up there, because it was their monthly reunion (once each month, they gathered to talk about the state of the world, the universe, what threat lingered, what lurked beyond...and to get very drunk, and see their friends, the only ones who knew what it meant to be a “hero”).
And that what’s made him particularly evil.
He knew, they would all be there. He knew what their reaction was going to be. After all, his memory was amazing, he definitely hadn’t forgot the way they reacted the first time they saw you, the first time they learned he had children (childrEN, plural !).
And he knew they were a little worried about him.
He had missed their last three reunions, and only answered : “Everything is ok” to their messages asking if he was alright (they hadn’t dared to go see if he was indeed ok, because last time they did that, they found him bed ridden with all the bones in his body broken, and he got so mad at them for butting in his business he worked twice as hard when he was fine again, and didn’t talk a WORD for months...that was, of course, years ago, before you were in his life, but the experience was still in their minds and so, they decided to respect his privacy, he would come to them when ready). And he never pushed his “red button”, him, or anyone in the family.
They just assumed he was busy, they hoped it wasn’t anything bad.
Yes. They were worried. For him. For you. For your kids. For Alfred. For your dogs, your cats, your cow...They. Were. Worried.
And Bruce knew.
You told him, when your pregnancy was confirmed, to tell his friends. That they would be happy. But after his own initial happy thought, his surge of hope and love at knowing he was going to be a dad again, he started to make his plan.
Why tell them, when you could toy with them ?
“They deserve it.” He told you, and you weren’t sure if they did, but you weren’t about to fight him on that. After all, you too, thought it could be amusing. Amusing to hide your pregnancy, making up excuses as to why they couldn't come see you, and you didn’t come up the headquarter. Amusing, to even hide it quite expertly from any form of news (Bruce was a MASTER of disguise, not only for himself), so it would be a real surprise.
Amusing, to have your little girl in secret, with only your family. Amusing, but also what you wanted. For this good news to be just between you, your children, and Alfred. Your close family. Because you had too few things that just were yours.
This had to be yours. Your thing, your secret, your own happiness. Yours, and only yours. And you found it was good, that you guys spend the first few months of your daughter’s life only between yourselves.
It was nice, to go out “disguised” as a normal couple, and show your daughter Gotham (and how her little eyes already tried to take the entire world within them).
It was nice, to live in total privacy for a little bit.
So, yes, you had been a little selfish. And he had, too. You knew it wasn’t just to prank his friends, he kept it all a secret. That it was also to have some quality time with his family. To spend the first few months of his daughter’s life being the only one being utterly smitten with her.
Though, this last thing wasn't true...You were, too. And your children ? Let’s just say your daughter had not been alone ONCE since she was born. And she seemed to love it.
Whenever she made the slightest sound, smiled, laughed (or cried), they were there, Bruce was there, absolutely loving that little baby.
She was almost 4 months old now, and Bruce thought that the gist had to be up. What scale did he use to measure this amount of “readiness” ? You had no idea. You thought he was just now ready to share his happiness with his friends, and not just his close family.
And so here you were, after months of secrecy carefully crafted and orchestrated by your husband, in the JLA’s headquarters, along with your family, the little new addition to said family in your husband’s arms.
Evil. Your husband was downright evil.
He knew that what was about to happen would have a massive impact on his friends. He. KNEW.
And as the zeta tube brought all your family up there, you knew that as he saw their faces, your husband was a little TOO happy with himself for his little “prank”.
************
���Batman, are you al- IS THAT A BABY ?” Very typical, very in character : the first to react was Flash himself.
None of the other noticed, and they seemed inclined to think Barry had lost his mind but then...
Bruce’s face didn’t move an inch, he just held that little “package”, and had his same stoic expression except...Except there was a little hand grabbing at his chin.
Then another hand appeared out of that bundle Batman carried, with a bat plushie bunched in a tight fist, shaking it and...Cooing.
Cute little sounds, and the way- EXCUUUuuUuuuUSE ME ?
The way Batman just softly looked at her, the way his cold expression was replaced by a tender one as he lowered his eyes to her ??
WHAT ?!
They knew. They knew he had THE softest spot for his family. They knew his scary aura greatly dimmed when he was around his wife and children. They knew that when they weren’t there, he was only made of shadows. They were his light, his salvation.
They knew he didn’t have the same face expression, when they were around.
Well, when they were looking at him...Barry swore that Batman loomed around his family, standing menacingly behind them, his eyes cold and calculating as if he was ready to fight any seconds to save his loved ones, and then whenever they turned to him his feature would instantly soften. He will ALWAYS remember the first time he met little Dickie, 9 years old and so full of joy and life, and how whenever he would look at Batman and talk to him, said Batman got a softer expression somewhat, but then when Dick turned around, Batman looked about to murder them whenever they came too close from him.
Once, Tim, also 9 at the time, years after the JLA met Dick, told Barry matter of factly : “He doesn’t kill people. He could break your knee caps though” in a very Tim fashion. The kid was serious. And had noticed the aura surrounding his dad, how it changed when he was around (he noticed more than his siblings, because for a while, Bruce had been really cold and distant with him, since he met him not long after Jason’s death..understandable. So he was the only one who had this sort of behavior aimed at him, the shield Bruce put in front of him to keep everyone away so he wouldn’t be hurt, the shield that now was lowered for them and only them).
It was his eyes. His eyes that were always hard and cold, became different when looking at you or his children.
Not to say that his family never exasperated him, or that he never had his “mask” around them. After all, Bruce’s stoic expression was his face by default. It’s just that he was often too focused. And that he spend years practicing hiding his emotions, practicing keeping a blank face. Because Barry also remembered seeing Dick perched on his father’s shoulders, letting himself dangle in his back, his head upside down, whistling and kicking his feet, and Bruce having this stoic mask on, concentrated.
Anyway, they knew all that. It had been years, since Bruce finally trusted them enough to bring his wife here, and his kids. But yet, yet they were still surprised sometimes.
Like today.
The picture of Batman holding a baby was...a little weird.
Even if he opened up to them over the years, he was still mostly very cold, distant and aloof. You know, Batman. That’s just who he was. So sometimes, to see him so devoted to his wife or kids, it was odd to say the least.
And right now, as he walked towards them with a baby in his arms, the shock was real. Damn it, will there be a day when the Bat didn’t surprise them with something ?
How did none of them notice you were pregnant ? Proof again Batman was a master of his craft. And that little girl...
Oh your daughter was such a beaming ray of sunshine, that in his arms it was particularly a jarring image.
The big scary bat, tall, broad shouldered, muscular in every way, his face void of expressions, holding a tiny baby who kept smiling at everyone around, and playing with her plushy.
Odd.
Yet, sweet.
Were they surprised ? Yes.
Were they a little mad he hid something (AGAIN) this important from them ? Definitely.
Were they shocked that his daughter was so darn cute and smiling and laughing that much ? Not really, because you were his mom too.
Were they happy for him ? For sure.
Were they going to adore that little girl ? Probably as much as they adored his other kids already, which meant...yes. Yes they were going to.
Damn that bastard Bruce. Always so sneaky.
Hal, couldn’t help but think : “First, he’s not a vampire, then, he’s married with children, and now, he has that cute baby. This guy ??!!”
***********
The initial shocked passed, and only after your children MOCKED all of your friends (you had to give it to Dick, he knew how to imitate them so well..and when Damian joined in ? Oh, oh it was a fit of laughter impossible to fight that attacked them), did they approach your daughter.
“Her name is Martha.” Bruce said “We named her after my mother.” and it wasn’t his usual flat tone he used as Batman. No, it was a soft voice he usually only reserved for his kids. And the reason he was using it now ? Well. He didn’t want to scare his daughter, as he still held her.
She beamed at him when she heard her name, and babbled some baby nonsense. She then turned towards all those new faces, and you saw Bruce’s hand hold her a little tighter.
Your beautiful, sweet soul husband. He clearly was worried she’d be scared, meeting all those new people. Especially since they all wore mask. But Martha-
Martha let go of her bat plushy (which Damian caught before it touched the floor, rolling on the ground in a way you thought was quite comedic. Oh, that boy), and lifted her arms up towards-
“What a sweet little girl !” Diana said with a voice you NEVER heard her use. You realized it was her “voice reserved for babies and domestic animals”, and it made you smile. It was higher than her usual voice, and full of softness.
You thought your daughter reached for her because she could feel the warmness in your friend. And after all, amongst all of those gathered here today, she was probably the one that adored babies the most.
Diana looked at Bruce, who only inclined his head a little to give her the ok to lift her from his arms but-
Another arm stopped her, and took the baby away.
Damian.
Damian, the one who took his role as a big brother a little too seriously.
He held Martha protectively against him, and literally sneered at all your friends.
************
Damian deemed most of them unworthy to hold his baby sister, and only Clark ended up being allowed to carry her. And that was partly because Clark was the only one who knew about Martha, the only one who saw her already, and he had months to convince your son to trust him with her.
Being an extremely close friend and all, you just couldn’t hide this from him and... no, really, you literally couldn’t hide this from him as he was the immediately noticed that second heartbeat when he listened in to make sure you and your family were safe. Bruce hated when he did that, but Clark wasn’t about to let them be in danger without moving an inch.
Anyway, Clark was allowed to hold her, but he gave her back to you rather quickly because your son’s stare made him uncomfortable. If eyes could kill, right ?
Damian took his job as an older brother very seriously. He would protect her at all cost. And you had no doubt that he would be the kind of person to burn the entire world down if it meant saving his family.
Damian only glared at everyone, letting them approach ONLY after they put on a surgical mask so they wouldn’t give her their “viruses or whatever”.
You had to admit he was a bit much, and you asked him nicely to calm down a little. He relented on the face masks, but made them all wash their hands (twice).
You ruffled his hair affectionately, what a sweet little boy. It broke your heart, how so many people judged him too fast. He really was, a nice kid. With a heart of gold. He just didn’t have much luck for the first few years of his life.
But he chose to be like this. Chose to love, instead of hate. Chose to protect, instead of attacking.
Although, right now, as Diana came back towards his sister, he definitely seems ready to high kick her (which definitely wouldn’t have hurt the amazon).
************
It was a hassle, to convince Damian to let go of his sister so they could hold her. As per usual, it’s Dick who managed to convince him, saying Martha was all soft and cute, and everyone deserved to hold her at least once. Adding that if one of them dropped her, he would be allowed to do whatever he wanted to them.
Some of the mightiest heroes of the planet were gathered hear, but the threat didn’t fall on deaf ears. Damian could be a little intense, and scary sometimes.
They weren’t fooled by Dick’s agreeable smile either. A smile that didn’t always reach his eyes. They knew if they messed up, he would find every way to rip them to shreds. Dick was often seen as the calmest of your children, but his anger issues from when he was a child were never far. And he could be ruthless.
Diana held her first, and your daughter babbled to her excitedly.
Of course, being only 4 months old, she just talked gibberish. And it was so sweet, how Diana answered her : “What ? *babbles from your daughter* Noooooo. *more babbles from your daughter* I can’t believe he said that. And then what ? *babbles babbles babbles*”.
After that, Dick took her back, and asked if someone else wanted to hold her, under yours and Bruce’s watchful eyes.
Then again, in the room, many were also already parents and knew how to hold a baby. They weren’t too worried, except-
Except Dick, that little sh-, had found a new game in recent weeks. Whenever he gave his little sister to someone else...he pretended to drop her.
And it made him laugh and laugh and laugh, to give mini-heart attacks to EVERYONE whenever he gave them his baby sister to them, as they always all panicked and screamed seeing her dropped (Dick always had her secure, he only pretended to drop her of course).
“Oh no careful !” He’d scream, dropping his arms suddenly (she looooved it) while still gripping her, and they’d scramble to catch her, and he would just laugh.
“You little-” Hal’s colorful words were...imaginative. And Damian was inclined to agree, since his brother pranked him oh, I don’t know, only about A HUNDRED TIMES since their little sister was born.
You wouldn’t admit it, but it made you laugh a little too. Even if he got you a few times as well, pretending he was going to drop her. Then again, you trusted your eldest son. Once you and Bruce wouldn’t be around anymore, you knew he would hold this family together.
************
Martha was a calm baby. She let people hold her, curious enough to not fuss and watch them all intently. It made Barry uncomfortable, how she held his gaze and would just stare at him.
She would stare, and stare, and stare, and her bright blue eyes were EXACTLY like Bruce’s, it felt like being stared down by a miniature version of Batman.
He didn’t like it. So he gave her back to whomever was closest, which happened to be Jason
Jason, who was always very delicate with his little sister. He handled her as if he’d break her. It broke your heart, to know he probably literally thought that.
He refused to hold her at first, sure he would hurt her. But she kept reaching for him, crying when he wouldn’t take her, and she was so adorable and-
He caved, of course. After a little while. And he was oh, the fixture of a patient older brother. You knew he would ALWAYS be part of her life, and step in whenever she needed to.
Right now, she was grabbing his hair, which were getting quite long, and pulling hard on them as babies do and- He didn’t say anything. He just let her do it.
You really hoped she wasn’t going to take advantage of this when she’d get older, even if you already had visions of her having her brothers and father wrapped around her little finger, having her sister too, and...apparently, the entirety of the JLA.
************
“How can such an a-hole make such a cute baby ?” Hal said, looking at the little girl he held. She was sort of dozing off, which for sure was adorable.
Bruce only glared at him, which amused Hal greatly. He just gave him the shock of his life, he could laugh at his expense a little, right ?
“I believe, to make a baby, you need to-”
“Um, no, Jon, please, I know how to ! It’s just-Oh, forget it.”
Flustered, Hal Jordan was flustered. Jon J’onzz didn’t seem to get why, but then again, human sarcasms and irony were still very foreign to him. He always answered pragmatically to people.
Talking about pragmatism. Hal handed back your daughter to Tim, who slipped her in his favorite new contraption : the baby carrier 3.0 (of his own design). Made so he could do all sort of work while having her strapped to him. Keeping an eye on her at all time.
Tim adopted the use of a baby carrier, so he could still work while taking care of her (he stole the idea from his dad, who definitely hung around with his daughter EVERYWHERE with that thing...which was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen, this tall broad man and this tiny baby attached to his chest).
It was so cute to see her little feet dangling while he was working. Damian nearly lost it when he found Tim WELDING two pieces of metal together with the baby carrier on his front. Tim merely said : “I made her baby sized goggles and a fireproof pyjama, she’s fine, and she likes it” and indeed, your daughter didn’t have a scratch, and cried when Damian hauled her away from the sparks. Ooooh the smug look on Tim’s face as his brother gave her back reluctantly. Damian’s was utterly vexed.
Vexation he forgot just a few minutes later, when Martha decided she had enough of sparkles and made little sounds of protest (not quite cries), and reached her little arms to him.
As of now, Tim had her in this baby carrier again, and was strolling around the JLA headquarters, showing his new little sister to everyone.
************
Cassandra didn’t say a word, as per usual. She never liked big crowds, only spoke to those she trusted the most. Her brothers, her parents.
She only gestured to others. Remained quiet. But she monitored every little movements.
Hawkgirl approached her sister ? Noted. Carefully studying every move. Martian Manhunter asked if he could hold her ? Noted.
Superman made little babbling sound at her, while her dad held her ? Noted, with amusement. It was funny, to see one of Earth’s mightiest hero grimacing to a baby to make it laugh, while said baby was held by another mighty hero who was utterly stoned face. Cass’ smiled at her dad, who smiled back for a fraction of seconds before Clark shifted his head up to look at him too, and Bruce went back to his : “ -_-” face, by reflex really.
Cassandra never spoke much, but she loved a lot. And her way of loving her little sister ? It was to always keep a watchful eye on her, so she could react to whatever she needed. And give her space when she needed to.
She had many brothers, she often joked that if she lost one, she could just replace him (a joke you didn’t like much, because you knew it was just a self-defense from her, to shield her heartbreak at the mere idea of loosing a sibling), but only had one sister...
Yes. Your youngest child definitely held a special place in everyone’s heart.
And you could see her slowly creep in every members’ of the Justice League’s heart too.
Gods, you couldn’t even imagine what would happen to the person who would one day try to hurt her. You could bet, though, he wouldn’t get out of it unscathed (to say the least).
************
Martha was particularly fond of Duke’s inuit kiss. He had the capacity to instantly calm her, and he could easily feel her inner emotions.
As she was passed around everyone, and she started to be tired and cranky, he simply retrieved her and brought her to Bruce, because he knew that was her preferred spot to fall asleep.
He kissed her on the forehead, and sure enough, she was asleep before he could pull away. Your husband put a warm hand on Duke’s head, a warm smile on his face. That boy could always tell what others felt. It was a gift, really, and sometimes a curse as others’ feelings could leak into him. Which is to say that sometimes, when others were sad, he would be too...
But for now, he felt content. At peace. Because his dad was, too.
And indeed, Bruce, holding his sleeping daughter against his heart, his hand supporting her head gently, was utterly at peace.
He loved the idea that his arms were his daughter’s favorite place to sleep, and never refused to hold her to help her sleep. You sure were a little jealous, but he told you : “They all always come to you when they need comfort, one kid out of six, you surely can give me, right ?” and though you knew he was joking, it broke your heart a little.
So, you let go of your jealousy, and let him have this indeed. Martha was definitely a daddy’s girl. And that was good. You could see the impact on your husband, how having a baby in the house soothed him.
He loved his kids so damn much. He often said they were his lights. And the fact Martha found comfort with him ?
It reminded him of his own parents. How he would go to his mom, a Martha too, to find the same comfort. To fall asleep in the same way.
You let go of that small jealousy, as you saw her falling soundly asleep, cuddled up against her dad. And it was funny, how Bruce would take his usual Batman persona, stone faced, standing straight and-
Having one of two fingers held tightly by both of his daughter’s little hands. She grabbed them as he took her, one hand holding her (she was so tiny...and he was a big dude), the other, she used as a sort of comfort plushy. She held them with all her might, as she slept.
And Bruce was speaking battle plans, and you had to fight the laughter in you as all your friends couldn’t help but stare at the scene, not knowing how to feel.
Hal snickered at one point, and he made a gesture for him to zip it, and it was quite an odd scene, as he held his daughter and did that childish gesture.
Seriously. That guy !!
************
Batman smiling was...different.
They all got caught staring at him, when he had his daughter in his arms. Staring because his broad smile was-
Well. Broad.
It wasn’t his signature smirk. It wasn’t a soft smile. It wasn’t a half-smile. It wasn’t a smile that you could only see in his eyes.
It was a full on big ass smile (as Barry would say).
And sure, they already saw him smile like that (although he schooled his face back to “stone mode” when he noticed them looking), never that much.
As if the birth of his daughter gave Batman another new light, and it was just impossible to yield to his old demon, to brood, when holding that ray of sunshine.
It made them all feel...soft. And warm.
It was nice, to know the bat wasn’t just a machine. They forgot it sometimes, that he was, in the end, “just” a man. They forgot why he became Batman. The pain and guilt he held inside. But moments like this, they were reminded of it.
That the Batman didn’t exist because of hatred, but because of love.
Because he loved his parents, his city, and now-
His family.
It was nice, to get reminded that there was a man below the mask. And though he could be an “a-hole” sometimes, there, holding his baby, he was just that.
A loving man, who wanted to protect others.
************
You made a note of every moments you would cherish forever of you introducing your daughters to them all :
1. The shock on their faces as they beheld the sight of THE BATMAN holding a baby against him, and being so delicate.
2. Your daughter being the star of the show, all of them smitten with her !
3. Your friends wanting to hold her, and how they beamed at her (and she beamed back, except with Barry, whom she only stared at for some reasons).
4. Dick’s “game” of pretending he dropped her, and their panicked reaction.
5. The success of Tim’s baby carrier, and how now, there was always one up in the tower.
6. Diana and how it definitely seemed like she would move mountain for that child.
7. How Clark’s eyes filled with tears again, as he looked at Martha. Because it made his friends so happy. You and Bruce. And especially Bruce. And Clark was an emotional man, who suffered too, and was just so happy “The Batman” was happy.
8. How Jason seemed at peace with his little sister, and how whenever he held her, he seemed less weary than usual around everyone. Like Cass, he didn’t like much being amongst too many people. But now, it felt like he had an “emotional support baby”. Ah.
9. Their reactions, past the shock, welcoming that new life in the world.
10. How Bruce monitored his daughter being held by his friends, holding your hand. Even after all those years, when he acted close to you in his Batman costume, it made you...feel things. He always kept a facade as Batman. A facade that would crumble with his kids, and especially with you. PDA weren’t rare. And even after years at his side, it always made your heart beat wildly when he showed affection towards you in public, because it meant-
Oh it meant so much.
And you had so many more moments forever ingrained in your heart from that day spend up at the JLA’s headquarters.
Too many to count. Some sweet, some hilarious-
All positive feelings.
And as you and your family stepped back in the zeta tubes, your friends saying “byyyyye” to Martha especially, with their baby voice (making Bruce roll his eyes), and as she waved at them-
Waved for the FIRST TIME ever oh.
Oh it felt like you would die of happiness.
And still, Bruce’s hands held yours tightly.
He knew.
He knew, you were the source of this happiness he thought he could never find again.
He knew.
He never loved like that before.
Yes. It felt like you could just die of happiness.
__________________________________________________
And here we are. I hope you enjoyed this. Don’t hesitate to comment and/or reblog, it’s always greatly appreciated :).
Also, initially, the child was going to be Thomas (their son in my “main” storyline, if you already read a few works from me), but last minute, I was like : “wait no, I want to give Bruce a daughter, and the boys a sister. Also, poor Cass eh ?” and here we are. I really hope you liked this; I’m nervous for some reasons. Anyway. See you soon with another one ?
#Batman x reader#Batmom#Bruce Wayne x reader#Batfam x reader#Batmom x batkids#Richard Grayson x reader#Jason Todd x reader#Damian Wayne x reader#Tim Drake x reader#Cass Cain x reader#Nightwing x reader#Batman imagine#Red Hood x reader#Robin x reader#Jason Todd imagine#Duke Thomas x reader#Batfam imagine#Batmom x Batfam#Bruce Wayne imagine#Richard Grayson imagine#Damian Wayne imagine#Tim Drake imagine#Batfam x batmom#fem!reader#Justice Leage x reader
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Hey I want to request a husband!gojo getting his wisdom teeth pulled out and he is high af from the anesthesia. I just imagine him forgetting everything and starts acting dumb. This would be huge blackmail material for nobara and megumi lol
peacock — gojo satoru x f!reader
as soon as you step into the recovery room, the sight of him almost makes you burst out laughing. satoru is slouched in the chair, limbs draped over the sides, his usual composed demeanor replaced with utter disarray.
his eyes, free of his blindfold, are dazed and unfocused, those brilliant blue irises practically swimming in confusion.
his cheeks are puffed out comically with gauze, and he’s staring up at the ceiling like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.
when his eyes eventually find you, they widen dramatically, his entire face lighting up like he’s just seen a miracle.
"oh. my. god," he gasps, his voice muffled by the cotton stuffed in his mouth, but his tone is thick with awe and disbelief. “you’re... you're an angel. a real one.”
you bite your lip, barely managing to stifle the laughter bubbling up. “satoru, it’s me,” you say, moving closer to him.
he squints at you, leaning forward so far that he nearly tips over, his eyes narrowing as he’s trying to make sense of what he’s seeing. “wait... we know each other?”
you fight back a smile. “I’m your wife.”
there’s a beat of silence before his eyes widen again, and he jerks back so dramatically that the chair creaks beneath him.
“wife? no way!” he grips the armrests with exaggerated strength, staring at you like it’s the first time he’s ever seen you. “are you serious? we’re married? to each other?”
you giggle as you nod, “for a while now.”
he slumps back, his head rolling to the side with a long, exaggerated groan. his entire body sinks into the chair.
“wow. I did it. I really did it,” he says, staring up at the ceiling again, his eyes unfocused and dazed. “I married the hottest person in the universe. I win at life.”
your lips twitch into a grin, watching him bask in his drugged-out epiphany. “you sure did,” you say, unable to stop yourself from laughing softly.
you move to help him up, sliding your arm around his waist as he wobbles to his feet, legs unsteady like a baby giraffe taking its first steps.
but as you start guiding him toward the door, he plants his feet firmly on the ground, stopping you with a wild-eyed, serious expression. “wait, wait, wait,” he says, his hand reaching out to grab yours with surprising urgency.
his fingers are warm, clumsy in their grip, but there’s an intensity in his gaze that, even through the haze of anesthesia, is so satoru.
his face is scrunched up in deep thought, brows furrowed as though he’s wrestling with the most critical question of his life. “I need to know something... something important.”
you raise an eyebrow, watching him try to focus, his blue eyes narrowing. “okay, what is it?”
“do we... do we kiss?”
you can’t help it—this time, you let out a snort of laughter. “yes, satoru, we kiss. all the time.”
he blinks slowly, his mouth hanging open in awe, eyes sparkling with newfound wonder.
“no way! I knew it. I’m so good at kissing, aren’t I?” he beams, his prideful grin exaggerated by the swollen cheeks, making him look utterly ridiculous. “I knew I was a natural.”
you chuckle, shaking your head as you tighten your hold on him, guiding him toward the exit. “you’re definitely something,” you mutter under your breath.
but, of course, satoru has no intention of walking in a straight line, let alone staying quiet. he stops again, turning his head to you with a deeply perplexed look, like he’s trying to unravel the mysteries of the universe.
“wait… wait… there’s these kids,” he says, gesturing wildly, nearly knocking the clipboard off the counter.
“they’re always hanging around. the loud pink-haired one, the grumpy one, and the one who keeps yelling. who are they? why are they always following me?”
you sigh through a laugh, shaking your head as you guide him forward. “those are your students, satoru. yuuji, megumi, and nobara.”
his face lights up with recognition—or something close to it. “yuuji! yeah, yeah, the kid who talks to everything. I like him. he’s my pokemon.”
you snicker, struggling to keep him upright as he sways like he’s on a boat in the middle of a storm. “he is your student, not a pokemon,” you remind him gently.
he waves his hand dismissively. “nah, nah, he’s my pokemon.”
you shake your head, unable to stop smiling. “sure, satoru. whatever you say.”
“and megumi!” satoru perks up again, his eyes sparkling. “my little emo sunshine. I keep trying to make him smile, but it’s, like, so hard. do you think he’s broken?”
his voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper, leaning closer to you. “should we fix him?”
you let out a small laugh, trying to keep him from stumbling as you approach the door. “I think megumi���s just fine, satoru.”
satoru gasps, clutching at your arm. “don’t tell me... he’s also your best friend? is he my rival?”
before you can respond, the door to the recovery room swings open, and standing in the hallway are yuuji, nobara, and megumi.
nobara is the first to spot satoru, her eyes widening before she bursts into uncontrollable laughter, clutching her stomach as she doubles over.
“oh my god, this is amazing!” nobara cackles, already pulling out her phone and aiming the camera at satoru. “I’ve been waiting for this day my entire life.”
yuuji grins widely, waving enthusiastically. “sensei! you okay?”
satoru beams at the sight of yuuji, grinning so wide that his swollen cheeks puff out even more.
“yuuji! my pokemon!” he tries to wave but nearly tips over, forcing you to steady him with both hands. “I missed you, man! when did you get here?”
yuuji looks bewildered for a moment. “pokemon?”
nobara is still laughing uncontrollably, already typing on her phone with one hand while recording with the other. “fushiguro, please tell me you’re getting this. this is gold!”
megumi, for his part, just stands there with his arms crossed, a sigh escaping his lips. but you can see the faintest twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth, a rare sign of amusement.
meanwhile, satoru is now waving his arms around excitedly, turning back to yuuji. “we should totally start a band! you play drums, and I’ll sing. we’ll call it...gojo and the gojos!”
yuuji blinks in surprise, his jaw dropping slightly. “uh, what?”
nobara howls with laughter, her camera still rolling. “oh my god, this is going in the group chat. no, actually, this is going everywhere.”
megumi shakes his head, his expression caught between amusement and exasperation. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he mutters.
you sigh, shaking your head fondly at the absolute circus unfolding around you. “alright, superstar,” you say, gently pulling satoru toward the exit, “let’s get you home before you say anything else you’ll regret.”
satoru grins, his eyes half-lidded but still full of wonder, like he’s just discovered something miraculous. “home? with my wife? yes, please. best. day. ever.”
as you manage to pull satoru a few steps closer to the door, his weight leaning heavily against you, he suddenly halts.
you glance at him, bracing yourself for another round of his ridiculous, anesthesia-fueled revelations, but nothing—nothing—could prepare you for what comes next.
“wait,” he says, his voice low and serious, as if he's about to share the most critical, world-altering secret.
his glassy eyes look at you intensely, filled with wild determination. “I need to do something important before we leave.”
you blink at him, confused. “satoru, what could you possibly—”
before you can finish your sentence, he dramatically pulls away from you, somehow managing to stand on his own. with the grace of a baby giraffe on ice, he wobbles toward the center of the room, ignoring your protests.
“satoru—”
he shushes you loudly, a single finger pressed to his lips as he glances over his shoulder, his expression way too serious for someone who can’t walk straight.
“shhh. this is between me and the universe.”
you exchange a bewildered look with yuuji, who’s still watching in awe, nobara recording every second, and megumi now sighing deeply, clearly bracing himself for whatever absurdity satoru is about to unleash.
then, with absolutely no warning, satoru starts unbuttoning his shirt.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" you yelp, rushing forward to stop him, but you’re too late.
he rips his shirt open dramatically, buttons flying everywhere, revealing his bandaged, puffy cheeks, along with his very confused, bare chest.
“satoru—oh my god—”
but he’s not done. no, of course he’s not. he thrusts his arms out to the side, chest puffed out proudly, and yells at the top of his lungs:
“I AM A PEACOCK, WATCH ME SOAR!”
the room falls into stunned silence for a moment. nobara freezes mid-recording, mouth hanging open in disbelief, while yuuji’s jaw drops, eyes wide with sheer awe.
megumi, however, just buries his face in his hands.
“I cannot believe I know this man,” megumi mutters under his breath, his tone one of deep regret.
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Me when they are the sisters ever: 😭😭😭 They came out soooo freaking well. I won’t lie, they took me a thousand years to finish but through the constant support from all of my buds (and my latent bisexuality), we made it 😤
Hopefully you guys know the deal by now: design choices, easter eggs, and (NEW!) closeup shots below the read more. ⬇️
I wanted Ace to have a very down-to-earth vibe and looked at Aussie beach-girls, coastal cowgirls, and vaqueras for reference. (IDK, I’ve just always envisioned Ace as part-Australian🌺 and Mexican 🏴☠️) Her clothing choices are mostly natural or utilitarian materials like the painted wooden beads on her top, her woven fabric and leather belts, and her denim jumpsuit. I gave her bikini top a zen-garden kind of feel because I read the first Ace’s Story Novel and I loved how idyllic and peaceful they made Sixis Island sound so I wanted to invoke that in some way.
Speaking of her painted wooden beads, they hang off the back of her top and represent her connection to Sabo and Luffy. They watch her back once she sets sail. She only wears one red glass bead earring because the other one got ripped out of her ear when a child, leaving her earlobe torn (don’t think about it too much 😢). Also, YES! she does wear a hibiscus flower just like Rouge (because I hate you and I want to make you cry, muhwahahahaha).
Also, I really wanted her to have super textured curly hair that licks behind her like flames. I am always considering whether or not a character should have long hair or not because I don’t want it to be a hindrance if they’re in a fight (or if they ARE a fighter with long hair, how to they avoid an enemy making use of that?). Ace is, of course, a Logia-type Devil Fruit User so I think she wouldn’t have trouble with people grabbing it LOL I get the feeling that she doesn’t take very good care of it even though it looks amazing. Like you’d think it would be soft and bouncy just by looking at it but if you ever get the chance to run your fingers through it, it’s a total rat’s nest and there’s sand and food all up in it. She still falls asleep while eating 😂 but she tries her best to only do it around people she can trust (woman moment 😔).
Honestly, her design is not that different from Ace’s canon look. It feels really vital to Ace’s character to have a lot of skin showing. And he’s always hanging all over himself with his hips all cocked like the weight of the world is too much to stand up straight. It is certainly not my OWN preference to make her an absolute smoke show. That’s just the character, okay? (I’m partially lying and the proof is that I turned the emblem on Ace’s hat strap into a sternum tattoo for no other reason than that it is sexy af.)
Here are some closeups of Ace:
Now for Sabo, I’ve made her very girly. I tried putting her in pants or something more militant but she told me that she’d wear the big poofy sleeves and hiked-up ruffled skirt. I think Sabo has always had a strong grasp on his fashion sense and individual flair and I truly believe that his personal style is one of the major influences for the rest of the Revolutionary Army resulting in the very flashy, queer, steampunk aesthetic (aside from Dragon’s plain-ass cloak). So of course I had to implement her nonconformist look when reimagining her as a woman and dress her up to the nines.
I’ve given her very ornate jewelry that is there to tell a story, even if she herself doesn’t know it. I like to think she picks up stuff from her travels that resonate with her, such as a damaged set of earrings with one stone missing or red cup-shaped shells featuring three nestled pearls. Another accessory that cannot go unmentioned is her dragon claw hat pin that keeps her top hat resting on top of her hair (and is definitely used as a weapon when the situation simply doesn’t call for trusty metal pipe). She also has a veil that obscures her prominent facial scar. I imagine she’s not very keen on the reminder of the incident from her childhood that took away her memories. I also kept her chipped toothed because 1) it’s fucking adorable and 2) is a visual reminder that she no longer aligns herself with the nobility who would have gotten such a thing fixed. She is so poised in almost every outward facet of her life from her dignified role as the Chief of Staff to the elegant materials in her clothing that it can be easy to forget she was also a rough and tumble forest dweller. Every time Koala remembers this, he lets out the biggest sigh.
Her hair is inspired by Gibson Girls and Elizabeth Swann from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I wanted it to be fussy and tidy but fall apart when she’s in moments of distress. For example, when she remembers her sisters, her hair starts to look like Ace’s flaming mane. I’m so in love with her, I think she looks like an adorable little porcelain doll that would fuck you up. I made an effort to keep her eyes a little bit manic. I get lost in her steely black orbs (and also Ace’s warm brown ones, but we’re talking about Sabo rn).
Here are her close-ups:
Plot notes for this AU:
For this series of character designs, I wanted the expressions and outfits to be aligned with the canon plot but I don’t know if I have the heart to kill fem!Ace in my AU. I’m too attached and ASL has suffered enough!!!!! But Ace’s death is also a major defining moment for Luffy so it feels disingenuous to completely avoid it. Also a huge aspect of Sabo’s character is carrying on Ace’s will and I have so many thoughts about how the Dressrosa Colosseum scene would play out if they were all women. Oh well, I’ll cross that tragic bridge when I get to it. I’m definitely going to draw some Modern AU Girl Piece ASL though. They deserve to hang out with no stakes 😭 They are sisters!!!
Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog for my other One Piece genderbends! 🥰
#girl piece#one piece#one piece fanart#genderbend#portgas d ace#revolutionary sabo#ace#sabo#fem ace#fem sabo#fire fist ace#flame emperor sabo#asl brothers#asl sisters#op fanart#character design#cowgirl#steampunk#marineford spoilers#dressrosa spoilers#girl piece original design
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BREAK MY HEART AND I SWEAR IM MOVIN’ ON WITH YOUR FAVORITE ATHLETE - LN4
summary : You weren’t joking when you wrote the lyric ‘Break my heart and I swear I'm movin' on with your favorite athlete’. What a perfect opportunity when that same athlete falls right into the palm of your hands with your ex’s burning gaze directed straight at you.
listen up : reader wrote ‘good graces’ ! flustered lando! protective lando! sorry to anyone named nick.
words : 1519
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“Need a shot of your strongest!” I slap my hand down on the bar, my friends around me and looking worried. I’m fine! I’m absolutely fine!
Is my ex currently across the room from me? Yes! But I'm cool, I'm calm, and I'm collected.
I down the bitter liquor, pushing back my hair and taking a breath. “Fuck him.” I mumble as my friend's hand goes to my arm. I’m completely over him, but every time my eyes land on that jerk I can’t help but remember how I caught him fucking his assistant.
Jackass wasn’t even talented enough to have an assistant, I should have known.
I start dancing, forgetting about my hatred and focusing on my friends. The true loves of my life! I throw my hands up, ‘Cupid's Chokehold’ playing as we all sing around and laugh.
I hear the mumbling and whispering instantly, a new ground walking into the exclusive club my friends pulled me into. My best friend squeals, grabbing my arm, “That’s Lando Norris!”
I raise a brow, still dancing and turning to see the man and his own group. I recognize a few from when my ex would get up at 4AM to see their races.
Formula 1 drivers have a reputation… most worse than any other soccer or hockey player. I watch Lando, a drink in his hand as his eyes scan the crowd.
The reputation makes sense, a face like that doesn’t just shrug off girls.
I turn before he can see me. He doesn’t know who I am, I doubt any F1 driver knows a borderline inappropriate pop star.
“You have to talk to him!” She screams, jumping up and down in her heels now.
“No!” I laugh and think she’s going to drop it until she gives me an annoyed look.
“That’s hypocritical!” I laugh, how the fuck is that hypocritical? I am forced to realize what she’s referring to as I turn and see my ex standing in front of the driver.
He’s smiling like the idiot he is, asking for a photo and clearly going on for too long. Lando is his absolute favorite driver, I couldn’t escape his face for the two years I was dating my ex.
My friend's smile grows, and she starts singing. “Break my heart and I swear I'm movin' on with your favorite athlete!” she’s off key and definitely drunk, pushing my arm she laughs, “This is your fucking time! It’s your own words! He broke your heart babe!”
At her last words I frown, making up some excuse to get another drink. I look back at Lando as I walk back to the bar, my ex is still there but I catch Lando’s eye, accidentally sending him a disgusting look.
I rip my eyes away and order another drink. I sip on it, my legs crossed on a bar stool and my back against the counter as I watch my ex go back to his friends.
I know he sees me, and I'm grateful he hasn’t said anything. He’s an asshole and I'm upset that he’s ruining my night by his proximity to my friends and I.
“Do I know you?” The unfamiliar accent catches me off guard, looking away from my ex and up at Lando Norris. Shit.
“Um… No?” I sip my drink again, trying to ignore his arm resting behind me and how delicious he smells.
“So why were you death glaring at me?” I can’t help but laugh at this, his brow quirks when I do.
“I wasn’t! Not at you at least…” I look back to my ex, nodding, “I was glaring at him.”
“Well he must have done something really bad to you because that look was damn scary.” I bring my lips to my glass again, locking eyes with his that are so green, even in the club lights.
“He’s my ex.”
Lando looks genuinely surprised at this, “Your… ex?” he points and nod, “Yours? As in dating ex?”
“Yes. What other type of ex is there?”
Lando shrugs, eyeing him and shaking his head, “Sorry. I genuinely just don’t believe it! He’s…” He stops himself, like he realizes he’s actually speaking out loud, “Well you’re way out of his league! You’re fucking gorgeous, and honestly on my to-do list of the night.”
I raise a brow at this as his eyes go wide, “I mean I wanted to talk to you! Not in a creepy way! In a genuine way.” I turn towards him more and clock the sincerity in his voice, “So, i’m assuming you broke up with the dick?”
“He cheated on me.” Lando’s jaw drops at this, “Okay shut up now you’re just boosting my ego.”
“It deserves to be boosted! Fucking hell, asshole. Shouldn’t have let him take a photo.” He smirks at me and it makes my smile return, “You do look familiar though…”
“I’m a singer, Y/n L/n.”
He laughs, tapping his fingers against the counter, “I know you! My teammate's girlfriend is obsessed! You're the one with the funny lyrics.” By ‘funny’ he means horny as fuck.
I nod, “And you’re my ex’s favorite athlete.” He cringes at this.
“Not yours?”
“I know nothing about Formula 1.” I shrug as his hands go to his curls, “But I do know you.”
His smile widens at this, his eyes soft, “I like that.”
Lando is nothing like I imagined. I thought he would be annoying and honestly a dick, but instead he’s just flirty and actually hilarious.
He’s cute too, buys me a drink, moves his hand to the outside of my leg to pull down my dress that’s riding up my thigh.
Fuck those lyrics, I want him.
He’s funny and ridiculously stunning, “You know- once I mentioned that you were cute, not even hot or anything, and Nick didn’t talk to me for two hours!”
Lando scoffs, “That’s just rude.” he motions to his face, “Anyone could see i’m adorable.”
“Fuck, now i’m boosting your ego!”
He smiles, “You’re doing that by just looking at me.” He's a flirt and I love him for it.
He’s looking at me like I hung the moon. We just met and he’s leaning down to hear what I'm saying over the loud music, his hand never leaving me.
I reach up and twirl a piece of his hair around my finger, “I like your curls.”
“Thanks love…” the nickname comes out smooth and easy. Far too dangerous for someone I barely know and someone I really like.
He tells me about his travel schedule and how he likes my dress. I tell him where I live and when I tour… “I wanna see you perform.”
I laugh, his hand still on my leg, “I barely know you.”
“Easy fix. Come home with me tonight.” It’s straightforward and risky, yet very tempting. “I’ll let you know everything about me.”
I bite my lip as his eyes stray from mine, “Norris.” I say sternly as he nods, slowly looking back at my eyes with a cheeky look on his face.
“Yes or no, love? Break my heart, it’s fine!” He says dramatically as I laugh and roll my eyes, leaning away from him before his hand finds my waist and pulls me closer, “You don’t have to. I’m just offering…”
“Get me a water, then we’ll see.” His smirk is back and his hand lingers on me before walking down to where the barista is flirting with a pretty girl and not paying any attention to us.
I smile as he leaves, waving to my friends as they motion to text them and blow me a kiss. I’m still smiling when someone slides next to me.
“Y/n!” I know the voice instantly and it makes me feel sick. He’s beaming as if he is privileged to see me, which he is, but he shouldn’t look so happy.
“Nick.” I say, my smile gone and my warm and fuzzy feeling disappeared.
“I didn’t know you were here!” Liar. “How’ve you been?”
“You mean how have I been since I caught a girl sucking your limp dick?” I say with my brows raised, “Oh just peachy.”
His smile falters. Dickhead.
My actual savior returns, a head turning smile on his face until he sees my ex. Lando walks past him, not even sparing a glance and handing me my ice water.
“Ready to go?” His hand is warm on my hip, his gaze cold when looking at the man who stares at the two of us.
“Sorry… what?” Nick is genuinely frozen in place as I pop out of my seat, Lando gripping me with both hands now. Shit his hands are big.
“Mate… she wrote it in a song.” He nods at him as I grin, a straw at my lips and giggle in my throat. Lando leans down close to my ear as we walk away. I can practically hear the smirk in his voice, “I’ll show you a real man.”
@//YOURUSERNAME
liked by landonorris, lilymunihe, and carlossainz…
yourusername i’m a woman of my word🤷🏻♀️
landonorris definitely lost a fan but gained the most important person in my life. i love you😘❤️
comments on this post have been restricted…
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 fic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando x you#lando norris x singer
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WAG In Training - Franco Colapinto x Reader
Summary: When your boyfriend makes the leap from F2 to F1, you never expected for fans to show so much interest in you. However, they seem to enjoy that your comments are… less than professional
Warnings: Suggestive comments
Requested: Yes by anon
F1 Masterlist
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f1 just posted
liked by jensonbutton, officialmpmotorsport and others
f1 starting in monza, franco colapinto will be racing in williams for the remainder of the 2024 season
12,074 comments
williamsracing welcome to the team
alex_albon bienvenida, franco
francolapinto so excited for this opportunity
→ user1 he’s so polite
→ user2 just wait
user3 he looks like disney prince
user4 not surprised he got the seat. look at those big beautiful eyes. i bet james was like "whatever you say, handsome"
user5 hand veins!
its_yn so proud of you baby! we’ll have to celebrate later
→ francolapinto i can think of a few ways
→ its_yn as long as it ends with those fireproofs on the floor
→ user6 who is this?
→ user7 his girlfriend, and has been since before he was in f2 so don’t start
→ user8 omg her instagram is so cute. all the pics of her and franco
its_yn just posted
liked by williamsracing, lilymhe and others
its_yn i heard f1 drivers get the best head. @/francolapinto want to test that theory?
6,389 comments
francolapinto but i already know i get the best. i am always happy to prove it though
→ williamsracing add this to the list of things you can no longer say online
→ its_yn that’s becoming a very long list
user9 she’s an icon, she’s a legend, she is the moment
user10 i never knew how much i needed yn in my life until right now
user11 i hope williams never pr train her because she is hilarious
lilymhe i can’t wait to meet you
→ its_yn me too! you’ve definitely been my favourite thing about williams so far
→ alex_albon rude
alexandrasaintmleux i like the shade of lipstick
→ its_yn i’ll let you borrow it
user12 yn and franco are going to take off ten years from james vowels’ lifespan
user13 i love how cute her aesthetic is but then you read her captions
yourfriend uh oh, they’ve found you, yn. you better delete your old tweets
→ user14 too late. we already have screenshots
user15 this is unhinged and i love it. is she like this all the time?
→ dennis_hauger yes. and i’m glad she’s gone
→ its_yn oi
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williamsracing just posted
liked by alex_albon, francolapinto and others
williamsracing first post-quali interview in f1 completed
10,998 comments
francolapinto something i have been looking forward to
→ user1 yeah, hun, we know
→ user2 the interviewer definitely knows
user3 okay but the pouty lip in the last slide? talk about kissable
→ user4 i’d like to nibble on them liked by its_yn
→ user5 i love that instead of disliking all these comments, yn just joins in
user6 his face in the second slide when he realised yn was watching him flirt with older women
user7 yn is stronger than me because if my man was rizzing up all the interviewers, i would throw myself in front of a moving f1 car
→ francolapinto she’s fine. she gets her own back by flirting with jenson whenever she sees him
→ its_yn it’s not my fault he’s so scrummy
→ jensonbutton thank you, yn
user8 okay but i love how secure they are in their relationship. she only jokingly told him off and they kissed straight after
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fc43 just posted
liked by user9, its_yn and others
fc43 i wonder what else is thick
4,044 comments
its_yn i can already feel the bruises on my cervix
→ user9 !!!
→ user10 out of pocket
user11 i love that she’s even interacting with a fan page
→ user12 aha she’s everywhere
user13 do you think he’s into choking? liked by its_yn
→ user13 omg she confirmed
→ user14 yes but in which way? he likes to be choked? she likes to be choked? both?? liked by its_yn
user15 his neck looks so biteable liked by its_yn
user16 (s)creaming
franco43stan just posted
liked by user1, its_yn and others
franco43stan i’d like to report these photos. they made my 85yr old grandmother have palpitations
11,437 comments
its_yn gnawing at the bars of my enclosure
its_yn actually salivating
its_yn yes, i’ve licked those abs. yes, i’ve done so when they were sweaty
→ williamsracing we knew we’d find you here
→ user1 oop she’s been caught. they’re going to take her away from us
user2 yn stronger than me letting her man post videos with a slutty 2 second shot of his stomach
→ user3 girl likes watching us thirst over him
→ user4 makes her feel validated about her horniness
→ its_yn at the end of the day, ladies, i’m the one who gets to touch
user5 imagine that chain swinging against your back
→ its_yn been there, done that
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francolapinto just posted
liked by williamsracing, landonorris and others
francolapinto my girl
11,437 comments
alex_albon okay, this was sorta sweet if i ignore what these photos undoubtedly lead to
→ lilymhe you never show photos like this of me
→ alex_albon those are only for my eyes! plus, i have been trained properly
user6 franco saw that everyone loved yn for being unhinged and decided to let everyone know that he is also down bad
its_yn why would you post these when you’re all the way in america and can’t do anything about the ache you’ve created!
→ francolapinto calling you. now.
→ user7 doesn’t he have quali in 40 mins?
→ user8 phone sex is more important
williamsracing why do you give us hope that this will be a normal post… and then we scroll? and then we read the comments
user9 i only look at franco’s posts to see yn’s comments
user10 even if franco doesn’t have a seat for next year, yn will forever be famous as my #1 wag
user11 yn and franco mean so much to me. we can’t lose them next year
user12 franco is cute and all but yn 🥵
user13 can franco fight?
→ francolapinto he will try
its_yn if i’d have known we’d get this much attention, i’d have convinced franco to stay in f2
→ francolapinto do not lie. you were so happy for me that you cried
→ its_yn no, that was from how good the celebration sex was
→ francolapinto some of our best work tbf
williamsracing just posted
liked by jensonbutton, f1 and others
williamsracing couple’s day out? no! couple’s pr training!
14,880 comments
f1 heartbroken
jensonbutton finally
user1 poor james looks like he’s heard things he never wanted to
user2 aha james has been through the trenches
redbullracing don’t try to silence them
alpinef1team no! let them let their freak flags fly
user3 james fighting for his life with these two
→ user4 and all the teams opposing him
user5 did they put franco in time out?
→ francolapinto yes :(
user6 just fell to my knees in walmart
user7 noooo they got to my emotional support couple
user8 yn looks like she’s had an amazing day
→ its_yn i did! i learnt so much
→ user9 are you going to listen to any of it
→ its_yn no :)
→ francolapinto we’re here for a fun time, not a long time
→ user10 ^^ franco trying to convince yn to have sex in his driver’s room liked by its_yn and francolapinto
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requests open
coming up; liam lawson x ferrari admin including cars references
max verstappen part 2 to taste
charles leclerc x sainz reader
tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25 @sillyfreakfanparty @iloveyou3000morgan
#formula 1#f1#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#social media au imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 imagine#f1 drabble#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula one fluff#franco colapinto#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto headcanon#franco colapinto drabble#franco colapinto one shot#franco colapinto fluff#franco colapinto smau#franco colapinto x reader
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Homicipher request for the Homicipher starved fans pls? 🥺 Is it okay to ask for the reactions of Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped(as he gets wheeled past us on a cart after being kidnapped, again), Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella with a reader who winks and blows a kiss as they pass by them? Like for some reason reader seems to be in a really good mood and they're skipping around with their trusty crowbar in hand then they see one of the boys then mwa~💋. I can imagine that they'd be confused at the unfamiliar gesture but I'd like to get your thoughts on it. 😂
⊱ Homicipher Characters’ Reactions to MC Winking at Them and Blowing Them a Kiss ⊰ || Multiple Character Headcanons
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Character(s): Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped, Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella (Homicipher/文字化化) Reader Type: Human (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Spoilers for Homicipher (MC’s Lore), Brief Canon-typical Mentions of Violence (Mr. Machete’s Part), Canon-typical Horror Elements (Mr. Gap and Mr. Scarletella's Parts), Cultural Barriers (None of Them Understand the Gesture). Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, Platonic or Romantic Relationship Word Count: ~1,880 Request: “Homicipher request for the Homicipher starved fans pls? 🥺 Is it okay to ask for the reactions of Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped(as he gets wheeled past us on a cart after being kidnapped, again), Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella with a reader who winks and blows a kiss as they pass by them? Like for some reason reader seems to be in a really good mood and they're skipping around with their trusty crowbar in hand then they see one of the boys then mwa~💋. I can imagine that they'd be confused at the unfamiliar gesture but I'd like to get your thoughts on it. 😂” Author’s Note: They all would definitely be confused by the unfamiliar gesture, so I kind of did headcanons about how each of them would react to you blowing them a kiss/how they would go about trying to understand what the gesture meant by using context clues (or just straight-up asking you about it haha). Sorry if they’re not great! I’m still trying to figure out how I want to balance the characters’ personalities as they are in canon while adding some more fun/whimsical aspects of your ask.
→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated! ♡
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💉: He smiles softly at your cheerful demeanor, yet it falters slightly when you press the tips of your fingers to your lips and squeeze one of your eyes shut in response to him looking in your direction. You remove your fingers from your pursed lips and blow out a puff of air before continuing in the direction you had been walking towards. While he could infer you were in a good mood by your body language, he was curious to know what exactly the gesture meant.
💉: Instead of lightly treading the question or observing you for any longer to see if he could figure out what the gesture meant by using context clues, Mr. Silvair instead just asks you directly to get an answer as soon as possible the next time he sees you. He deeply enjoyed research and observation, yes, but there was no need to wait to gather information when you were a perfect source of it.
💉: Of course, it wasn’t easy to explain what “blowing a kiss” was, especially since they didn’t even have equivalent words in their language for “blow” or “kiss,” but you tried your best with what you had to work with. It’s almost funny how earnestly Mr. Silvair is hanging onto every word you speak. He chuckles after you finish explaining, amused by the gesture and its meaning – how quaint, he thinks to himself.
💉: He found humans to be fascinating and their diverse cultures even more so, so he was of course interested in learning whatever you were able to recall from your previous life in your old realm before you ended up in this one. He treats everything you tell him with an air of respect, and he even documents what you share with him so he (and you) never forget that part of yourself.
💉: Mr. Silvair finds the gesture to be an entertaining one, but deducts that it’s not usually one humans do with strangers or those they are not comfortable with from your explanation. Does that mean you are comfortable enough around him to express yourself in that manner? How fascinating... Do you care to tell him why you feel the way you do toward him? He’s very much interested in learning the reasoning behind your thought processes.
🗣️: Mr. Chopped smiles so widely when he sees you in such a chipper mood, making your way down the hall with a noticeable spring in your step. He likes seeing you happy, so it makes him feel good, too, watching you skip by with such a bright expression on your face! Then, you press your hand to your lips and wink, blowing something he couldn’t see in his direction, and suddenly he’s confused.
🗣️: Huh… well, that was strange. For some reason, though, the playful gesture seemed almost familiar, yet he couldn’t remember why. He can’t exactly chase after you and ask what that meant, so he’d have to wait until the next time he saw you (which he hoped wouldn't be a long wait – he liked spending time with you).
🗣️: The next time he saw you, he asked if you could explain what the gesture meant. You did the best you could, but you’re pretty sure he comprehended what you were telling him if the giddy expression on his face was anything to go by. His excitement was quite adorable. However, his expression suddenly falls, and you watch him begin to sulk. How was he supposed to blow you a kiss in return? He didn’t have a body!! The poor man is so distraught.
🗣️: He gets either Mr. Silvair to help him out or Mr. Hand to, well… give him a hand to enact his plan. The next time you see him, he calls out to you with such a delighted look on his face. So, you make your way over to him and kneel down to his level, watching as the sentient hand comes up to Mr. Chopped’s lips, making the same gesture you did, before he blows you a kiss and winks. He did it! He blew you a kiss!!
🗣️: Mr. Chopped is very proud of himself and the pleased expression on his face is far too charming for you. He feels a warmth in his metaphorical chest knowing that you felt comfortable enough with him to blow him a kiss, especially since it seems like something humans do with those they are most comfortable with.
🕳️: He’s honestly somewhat impressed you knew he was there, observing you through the small hole in the wall while you walk around like you’re on top of the world. He can’t help but wonder what happened that has you so chipper, but his thoughts are derailed a bit when you press your hand to your mouth and blow something at him, closing one of your eyes as you do so… What the hell was that??
🕳️: He feels somewhat offended, honestly, and gets that semi-disgusted look on his face before disappearing into the darkness. Mr. Gap understands it’s some kind of weird human gesture, but he can’t really put two-and-two together about what it means. Though, he finds himself continuing to watch you from any nook-and-cranny he could find, observing you to see if you would do the gesture again – you don’t.
🕳️: Mr. Gap ends up startling you while you’re walking down a long, grimy hallway, his hand darting out from a vent to grab your ankle. His grip isn’t tight, but it most certainly scares the life out of you and effectively catches your attention. He finds your scare amusing but ends up cutting straight to the point and asks you why you blew something at him.
🕳️: Even after explaining what the gesture meant, Mr. Gap still doesn’t fully understand why you did it, so you just tell him it was supposed to be a nice gesture that showed you enjoyed him – playful. That is something he does understand, and it’s almost amusing how the smirk on his face grew. He must be special, he thinks, and his smugness is radiating from his face peeking out of the darkness.
🕳️: Mr. Gap doesn’t do the gesture back, but he strangely enough finds himself hoping you don’t blow anyone else your kisses. He doesn’t know why the thought of you sharing the gesture with another annoys him a little bit – after all, it wouldn’t make it special anymore if you did it with everyone. He even begins bringing you things, like more crowbars or even pieces of candy he finds lying around. It’s almost like he’s trying to bribe you…
🔪: He sees you happily skipping around and finds himself having to do a double-take at the strange sight. It wasn’t a bad sight, not at all, it was just weird seeing you so bright and lively. However, his mind buffers a bit when you look at him, pursing your lips and giving him a wink before your fingertips press to your mouth and then flick towards him.
🔪: Mr. Machete is immediately annoyed, not knowing what the gesture meant, and he assumes you were trying to pick a fight with him. So, he takes his large sword and reels it back, throwing it at you with a strength that still had your eyes boggling. You duck with a yelp as the sword implants itself into the wall behind you.
🔪: He makes his way over to you with incredible speed, blocking your body between his and the wall as he looks down at you, his head tilted to the side as he asks you if you wanted to fight him. Mr. Machete finds your frustrated expression endearing as you tell him the gesture was meant to be playful and fun. He’s low-key kind of disappointed you didn’t want to fight, but he steps away from you after your explanation without another word.
🔪: However, while looking down at your angry expression, Mr. Machete suddenly has the urge to squeeze you (I imagine he experiences cuteness aggression regarding you). So, he reaches down and squeezes your cheeks between his large and calloused hand, causing your lips to purse. Even though you hadn’t been in the mood to fight him, now you were. He smirks widely as you two begin to spar all because he misconstrued what your gesture meant.
🔪: Mr. Machete doesn’t see the point of blowing kisses, and he doesn’t feel any particular way about the gesture. It’s kind of whatever for him, even though he does notice that you don’t seem to do it with anyone else. After the first time (that ended up leading to a spar), though, he notices you hadn’t blown him another kiss since… He ends up coming up to tell you in his gruff, almost rude way, that he wouldn’t mind if you did it again.
🩸: He tilts his head to the side at the gesture, his shaggy red hair swaying with the movement. Well… that was new, he thinks. He liked you quite a bit (far more than just a bit, really… my man is kind of obsessed with you), and he had been following you throughout your entire journey in this realm, yet he had never once seen that expression or gesture from you before. Now, he was curious to know what it meant, and he was going to try and figure it out one way or another.
🩸: He continues to keep his eye on you, following you as you go about your day. Mr. Scarletella likes seeing you so chipper and full of life, especially considering you were someone who tended to take life from others. The dichotomy between your behavior and actions had his heart racing. However, despite what he expected, you never did the gesture again. So, he couldn’t gather information by observing you – he would need to simply ask you directly, then.
🩸: Mr. Scarletella effectively manages to corner you after some time, catching you completely off-guard. While you two had certainly started off on the wrong foot, you had gotten to the point where you were relatively calm and comfortable around the strange man who was so incredibly down bad for you. He gazes down at you with his lifeless eyes, inquiring about the gesture you made earlier.
🩸: You explain to him what the gesture meant for you, that you were simply in a good mood and felt a little bit playful at the moment when you blew him a kiss. Mr. Scarletella smiles at your words, feeling very pleased with the information. So, it meant you liked him, correct? It meant you felt comfortable enough to express your happiness towards him in such a way, right?
🩸: Well, you inadvertently ended up making him even more obsessed with you, and now his feelings become even stronger every time you blow him a kiss. Mr. Scarletella finds the act an interesting way to express your interest and enjoyment of another being, so he begins to blow you his own kisses in return. He is one of the characters I feel would want to learn more about human customs to deepen his relationship with you even if he doesn’t fully grasp why some gestures mean certain things.
#🌸 . plum writes#💌 . anon#homicipher#文字化化#homicipher x reader#mr silvair#mr chopped#mr gap#mr machete#mr scarletella#homicipher x you#mr silvair x reader#mr chopped x reader#mr gap x reader#mr machete x reader#mr scarletella x reader#homicipher imagines#homicipher headcanons#imagines#headcanons#fluff
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Unapologetically Selfish
Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Illusions to smut, fluff, gaslighting(?) not proofread bc author is lazy
Word Count: 2334
Summary: When both of your jobs have your time with each other limited, Azriel makes the decision to keep you all to himself. Content to let his family think he'd finally lost his mind but an accidental meeting has the IC realizing Azriel truly does have a secret mate.
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Cassian was…concerned, to say the least.
He fully believed Azriel was loosing his god damned mind and with each passing day this assumption only worsened.
It all started three years ago, Azriel becoming almost scarce from time to time. With no explanation other than vague answers. It didn’t happen a lot and Cassian respected his brother needed his space some time, it wasn’t unusual for the Spymaster to slink off in the shadows. But then after a year his disappearance’s become nearly constant.
Cassian and Rhysand finally cornered their brother after they demanded he show up for a monthly family dinner, the whole inner circle was getting concerned and decided that the two Illyrians were the best equipped to deal with this.
Azriel had blankly looked at his brothers a small furrow in his brow as he sat through their interrogation. He hadn’t even realized he had been gone that much to be frank. Just… after meeting you? He wanted to spend every second of the day by your side, the mating bond simply not enough for how deeply he felt for you.
After realizing the worry he was causing his family he pursed his lips and quite reluctantly told his brothers that he had found his mate.
The look on the High Lord and General of the Night Court was absolutely priceless, their mouths hanging open as a stunned expression took over their usually stoic faces.
Not even five minutes later the whole family knew, everyone pestering him for information like when they would get to meet you, what your name was, what did you do, how did you meet, where have you been this entire time.
“Wait!” Feyre said as Mor had opened another bottle of wine and started excitedly pouring everyone a glass. “Is that why you asked Rhysand for a few months off?”
The whole Inner Circle froze at Azriel’s simple nod. They all knew the implications of what that meant and Cassian was the first to speak. “You had a mating ceremony and none of us knew?” His voice thick with emotion.
Azriel struggled with his next words. His heart a lump in his throat. He was never a talkative male, especially not about his feelings.
“I-“
The truth was he was an incredibly selfish bastard. Of course he wanted his family to meet you, you were the most radiant person he ever had the pleasure of breathing next to and that was precisely the problem. He wanted you all to himself.
“I’m sorry.” He said clearing his throat. “Would you like to meet her?” The house erupted with enthusiastic yes’s as his words seemed to smooth over the transgression.
Eight months after that conversation, and after 6 canceled dinners 2 rescheduled lunches and just a straight up no show for drinks, The Night Court decided Azriel was…delusional.
Of course they came to this conclusion delicately and most definitely amongst themselves after long and heated conversations.
Once again Rhysand and Cassian were sent to talk with the elusive spymaster and why he would make up such a lie.
Azriel just refused their nonsense once again. He had told them the truth and it was their fault they didn’t believe it. He had barely seen you these last couple months as you had been working on the Continent and he had other tasks assigned to him. He told his brothers this and they just gave each other a look, one he simply ignored.
Soon…the teasing started. Once the Inner Circle realized Azriel was doubling down on his ‘delusions’ Cassian promptly started joking about the fake wife and mate Azriel had. A few offhand comments here and there that become more and more frequent, of course Nesta and the rest of their family told him to shut up, but for Cassian it came from a place of love.
He had tried talking to his brother, tried helping him through this. Cassian’s mind spinning, he truly thought Azriel had finally cracked, that his dearest brother was so alone he had made up an imaginary mate just to prove something.
So his teasing was his last ditch effort, the final playing card to hopefully get Azriel to just admit he lied, than Cassian would take him out for drinks and be his shoulder to cry on for whatever issue that was obviously going on.
Except it didn’t work. Azriel just grew more and more distant, if he wasn’t working he was simply…elsewhere. The last time Azriel ever made an effort to be around his family was when he suddenly up and decided to move out of the House of Wind, throwing a small house party for a beautiful cottage he purchased along the coast.
Rhysand had to force Azriel to come to family dinners, in which sometimes the Spymaster simply never showed up and when he did his mind seemed distant and detached.
Everyone was getting increasingly worried, especially Cassian. Azriel was incredibly important to him and although Cassian would never admit this, he felt responsible for him. Sometimes his brother didn’t know how to take care of himself, especially emotionally and whenever that happened The General had always been there, happily helping him whenever he could, making sure his heart and mind were protected, fighting off Azriel’s demons when he couldn’t do it himself.
And he had never seen his brother so…aloof, distant and he had never thought his mental health would have gotten so bad he had made up a mate. So finally, Cassian and Rhys decided it was time for an intervention.
———
Azriel.. for the life of him could not wait for his brothers to get out of his house.
He loved them dearly and he knew he had been acting stranger and stranger these last few years, he knew his family thought he was certifiably insane and that great Shadowsinger of the fearsome Night Court had finally snapped and of course he cared, he knew that his actions had his brothers spinning and Nesta’s newly revealed pregnancy didn’t help Cassian’s grey hairs, and he had tried countless times to explain to them that he wasn’t insane, that you were real and beautiful and had utterly and completely captured his heart.
But without the proof, his brothers simply didn’t believe him. Azriel wanted you to meet his family, gods did he want you too. But his time with you was becoming more and more rare.
If you weren’t on the Continent you were with Thesan and if you weren’t with Thesan you were with Helion, leading all sorts of medical discoveries he simply could not comprehend no matter how hard he tried, this new medical project you were taking on meant that he hadn’t seen you in months, his body and heart ached for you and he truly had never felt such longing in his life. His brother’s insisting that he was insane certainly wasn’t helping his heartache.
“I…” Cassian swallowed. “I can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore Az.” He whispered finally and Azriel truly felt the guilt he had been burying down hit him as if he had been struck at the look on his brother’s face.
He opened his mouth to say something but ultimately couldn’t find the words as Cassian left his home office, his footsteps echoing the utter doom and gloom he felt not only at your disappearance but at the raging guilt he felt for putting everyone in this situation in the first place.
“Please…Just talk to us Az-“ Rhys started but he put his hand up. “Just, Go..please, we can talk about this later.” Azriel pleaded and Rhysand must’ve seen the look on his face so he pursed his lips and followed the General out of his brother’s home.
———
You couldn’t wait to get home not only to the house you’d built together but to your mate. Every fiber of your being ached for him, and it physically hurt to be away from him for so long.
So finally you had announced to your team and your dearest friend Thesan you were taking a well deserved break and decided to surprise your mate.
You desperately needed to see him, hold him, breathe him in. Your soul was raging for the distance to finally be closed and so you planned a surprise trip, so you shut off the bond to him, which had sent him into a wild panic but you soothed it temporarily saying you were busy and needed to focus. But really you knew you couldn’t hide the excitement at finally arriving home, your chest was alight with nerves as you opened the door to your house, your fingers nervously playing with your hair as you couldn’t stop the giddy smile from erupting across your face.
This was space was yours. For the first time you had not just a house but a home, and a lot of your tension eased at finally stepping into the carefully curated space you and Azriel had created. You could smell him everywhere, and it insantly made your frayed nerves ease, your body already relaxing at just finally being home.
It had been six long months without touching him, seeing him, with only fleeting reassurance and love sent down the bond and you needed him. Now.
You were so excited you didn’t see the tall and bulky Illyrian warrior standing in your hallway staring at you as if he had seen a ghost. You crashed into a hard wall of muscle in your haste to get to your mate and immediately pulled back.
“Your…not Azriel.” You stated, looking him up and down with a small frown etched on your face, something primal recoiling at the thought of another male in your house.
“Neither are you?” The male stated his voice with a slight edge, eyes wary as he looked you up and down, as if you were a threat. His fingers twitching and you immediately pulled away from him noticing his dangerous expression. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here? I think the question is what the hell are you doing in my house.” You asked stepping another few paces away from him but still crossing your arms over your chest as you looked him up and down. He wore red siphons on his hands and his long brown hair had a few greys all tied together in a low bun. Cassian, then you assumed.
“Wait..I’m sorry what?” The male sputtered, his vicious stance immediately softening into one of shock. You didn’t notice the High Lord standing behind him with an equal look of surprise as their brains finally processed the information. Their brother hadn’t cracked, he had been telling the truth about all of it. The traveling, the courtship, that he was in fact married and mated.
Shadows twisted in the corner before scurrying off down the hall and in just a few seconds you were being tugged into a warm chest and spun around as scarred hands possessively held your waist. You giggled at the touch, the bond in your chest thrummed with light as peace finally settled in your bones. Home you were finally home. He set you down and you leaned up pulling his face close to yours as you peppered him with kisses. Gods you had missed him so much. He smiled softly at your touch shadows almost completely engulfing you as they too missed you.
“Hey, Hello? We’re still here.” Cassian snapped his fingers to get your attention and Azriel growled darkly at the intrusion. You had been gone for six months you were his not his family’s. It wasn’t just a want that made him grip you even tighter at the thought of his family taking away your time with their endless interrogation no, no it was a need that thrummed throughout the fiber of his being. He needed to mark you up and hold you close and worship every single inch of skin on your body. He needed to completely immerse himself into you.
Rhysand must have seen the look on his face or heard something in his mind because he gently gripped Cassian’s shoulders. “If you neither of you show up to breakfast tomorrow we will hunt you down or simply show up here.” It was said in a playful tone but Azriel understood the threat behind it, he was going to have to finally introduce you whether he liked it or not and with a simple wave of agreement from Azriel the two males winnowed away and he pressed himself further against you. Breathing in your scent all his stress and worry melting away as he did. The bond had been pulled so taut with the distance it had ached with the worst pain possible.
“I missed you.” You breathed out softly, he grunted in agreement. “Let me take you far away from here and show you how much I missed you.” He whispered as he pressed soft kisses down the side of your neck, you giggled and his heart beat faster at the noise. “You are not getting of that easy again Spymaster.” You spoke with another laugh. His hands tightened even further on your hips with frustration, one of them sliding up to tangle in your hair as he kissed you, his tongue sliding in your lips claiming your’s with a deep desire that settled in his bones. You’d leave again soon and now he’d have to share your limited time with someone else. He tugged at your bottom lip possessively at the thought and lifted you in his arms your legs straddling as his waist as he walked you to your bedroom to show you exactly how much you were his.
—————
The Inner Circle anxiously awaited The General and High Lord’s arrival, waiting on any news of Azriel’s mental health when they finally winnowed in. Shocked grins overtaking their expressions. There was a beat of silence before Cassian spoke up. “You’ll never guess what the actual fuck just happened.”
#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel x reader#azriel fanfic#azriel x oc#azriel fluff#azriel angst#azriel x you#angst#fluff#acotar fanfic#acotar fanfiction
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Solomon: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
MC: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Solomon: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
MC: But I heard a siren.
Solomon: That was Mammon.
Mammon: Sorry, I got nervous-
——
Belphegor: If we put Solomon and Barbatos in a room, who would come out crying first?
Diavolo: The room.
——
Barbatos: Where's Satan..?
MC: Doing stuff.
Barbatos: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Lucifer?
MC: Trying to stop Satan. from doing the stuff.
Barbatos: And Asmodeus?
MC: Trying to stop Lucifer from stopping Satan. from doing the stuff.
Barbatos: I see. And what are you doing here, MC?
MC: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Asmodeus from stopping Lucifer from stopping Satan, from doing the stuff.
——
Mammon: You can trust me! Let's not forget who pulled you out of the river when you were six.
Levi: let's not forget who pushed me in
——
Lucifer: You don’t want MC to die
Simeon: Right.
Lucifer: And I don't want MC to die.
Simeon: Right.
Lucifer: So we just have to make sure MC doesn’t want MC to die.
Simeon: Wonderful plan, but have you met MC?
——
Asmodeus: Do you think I’m ugly?
Solomon: It’s not about looks, Asmodeus. What’s valuable is on the inside...
Asmodeus: Aww.. Sol...
Solomon: For example, someone's heart.
Asmodeus: Aw... Stop it-
Solomon: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know.
Asmodeus: Seriously, stop it.
——
Diavolo: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-
MC: Eyy, homie!
Leviathan: But then there's cootie...
Belphegor: Die.
——
Lucifer: Who broke the toaster?
Satan: It was Mammon.
Asmodeus: It was Mammon.
Beelzebub: Mammon broke it.
Mammon:
Mammon: ...yOU PROMISED-
——
Luke: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!
Simeon: Luke, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.
Luke: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!
Solomon: ...It was a bug…
Luke: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!
Solomon: ...
Simeon: ...
Luke: Stop looking at me like that!
——
Asmodeus: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
Lucifer: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!
——
Mammon: I'm not that stupid!
Lucifer: Mammon, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.
Mammon: BELPHIE TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!
——
Mephisto, referring to MC and Mammon: Those guys are dorks.
Lucifer, insulted: Yes, but they’re my dorks.
#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me#obey me incorrect quotes#obey me me brothers#obey me dateables#obey me side characters#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me luke#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me mc#obey me mephistopheles
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