#and yes I do think this is the basis for A LOT of the the hate Everlark receiveds
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Like as someone who would definitely fall under the category of "is asexual with no sexual attraction but still does it anyway" I completely understand the notion of "hey it's nice to understand that not all ace people are sex repulsed" but also as someone who also considers themself gay (in a mlm way) (in a tertiary attraction kinda way) and has a girlfriend its like. But I've never seen anyone say any of the gay men in media I relate to can also date women without feeling attracted to them. Its like.... So??? Give me a reason aroaces are the only time there are exceptions that are respected that ISN'T just the the amatonormative idea of ""dating & sex is just natural"" and that allowing this exception means people can still center their stories around dating and sex.
This probably is because allo queers, even if being queer, can still abide by the amatonormative idea of "everyone needs to want/pursue a relationship and (romantic&sexual) love is the most important feeling", so even if yes, a gay man is not abiding by the cishet standards of attraction he can still have a "normal" love story of falling in love and pursuing that interest. Also additionally that aroaces fall outside of the "sexuality binary" (the weird idea that the only sexualities are "exclusive attraction to men" and "exclusive attraction to women" and that anything outside of that is not valid) A romance & sex repulsed Aroace cannot fufil any part of the amatonormative expectation and so exceptions are only allowed in the case that it makes the most important thing about their life still center around romance and sexuality. (Of course- exceptions aren't normally allowed like the fact no one gets I can be gay and have a girlfriend but that exceptions not accepted because it doesn't fit the sexuality binary)
Cause like. Most Allos can understand/relate to the concept of not feeling attracted to a certain gender (like het men don't feel attracted to men but can understand the concept of a gay man not feeling attracted to women under the basis of "its like me but reversed") but they don't have any point of easy reference to relate to no attraction at all so they don't really even try. If they can't relate to it then they don't feel the need to change their worldview to allow it.
Anyway as I said; I would fall under the category of "aroace that is in a relationship" (and not even because of the tertiary attraction) so I totally understand there are people who are like me. And yes I think having that sort of relationship is valid- I mean I'm literally living in one- but its very telling that every aroace character always has this same exact debate but you don't see ANY discussion about biromantic homosexuals or any form of split attraction and dating without attraction in allo characters.
Unfortunately I don't know that many canonically aroace characters- other than Percy (canon ace and Jello said she may also be aro) & Howie (aroace) from Epithet Erased and Lilith (aroace) from the Owl House. Didn't get into toh fan spaces so idk about that but I know I definitely have seen posts about shipping Howie and Percy (sometimes together bc of their rivalry - but other ships are more common.) And yeah Percy is only stated to be ace and "potentially aro" and not explicitly aroace- still definitely have seen many a Percy x Howie or explicitly sexual Ramsey x Percy / Zora x Percy going around so :v
Even if I am in a relationship the way I go about my relationship is a lot different than what allos go through- yet every time in fiction an aroace character is in a relationship its written exactly how allo relationships are. (Though I tend to be romance repulsed so I don't read much of that anyway lol). I do love that other aros who are more romance favourable than me like to write/draw relationships that fit how they live- but when allos write/draw it a lot of time they don't take care in actually considering how that would absolutely affect the dynamic or that there are some characters that just don't want any sort of romantic or sexual relationship at all.
I'm probably going to end up writing my own post abt this further so I don't derail but; also the whole idea of "split attraction and the ability to be not sexually attracted but not sex repulsed in a relationship is only an asexual thing" and not just like. A broad attraction thing that anyone can experience. Definitely is also aided by &/ partially the cause of these exceptions only being applied to aroace folk.
-Toby (they/them) & Bias (he/they)
the way fandoms are desperate to make all aroace characters romance and sex positive but then dont do anything remotely similar to any other identity is astounding. hmm i wonder why
PLEASE dont derail this about shipping characters of other identities please let this one post be about an aroace struggle
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i feel like the sentiment of ‘human shields’ or ‘you should be able to use slurs (“theyfab” the one im thinking of) against a group that (you perceive as) your oppressors’ comes from like. a flow chart way of thinkin
it really isn’t math. certain women (as broad and vague as the group can be defined) absolutely have power over certain men sometimes. race is one of the main ones, but like, off the top of my head there’s also age, disability, and certain authority or workplace positions. i would even include as small as a community as like, a gathering of friends to whom ive just invited a new person. the new person is statistically gonna be shyer or more prone to being pushed out. of course there are always a million modifiers, a million past and future happenings that shape someone and may or may not add to their “power meter” (if such a thing is real and operates like a meter) but being any specific identity is not going to be the sole driving factor of all interactions, especially in micro communities with their own standards.
i guess what im trying to say is that the claim that one is oppressed in every situation due to their identity and therefore any bullying towards others of one identity just counts as ‘pushing the needle’ is disingenuous. it is much more comfortable to feel like the ‘beaten down person who is just lashing out against their attackers’ without realizing that those attacks do hurt because some of those people may in fact be just as powerless as you (not you, velvet!! example you)
Flowchart anon: forgor to mention, or course own identity can be impactful and everyone knows better than a stranger how they’ve been affected by their identity, but also I think it’s possible to harness power even when you don’t know it, or unfortunately don’t approach people that way
it's wild too because the slurs get explained away as being like Black people saying cracker and a White person telling a non-binary person of color you should get to call them slurs because they're like White people to them is wild on it's own but like
have you
EVER
seen a Black person go to the fucking mat on a daily basis for 'cracker' like TRFs do th**yfab?
Yes, obviously, Black people have regularly argued with disingenuous idiots about it all the time. But have you ever seen Black activists, out doing serious, important work, fiercely argue every single day against a massive horde of White people telling them not to? I'm not even saying that a Black person can necessarily say the word cracker without ten White people popping off in the replies. But how often do they get replied to? And how much of those White people are trying to get through that it sincerely hurts them, and not just claiming it's rhetorically hypocritical?
Because from the TRF perspective it feels like "no but we should get to use this insulting word for other people and if not you're literally killing us!" is like, the major discussion to be having! I've talked a lot before about how even I, someone massively triggered by things outside of intercommunity stuff, somehow manage to bring those issues up more than TRFs do with their incessant focus on the perceived transmisogyny of other trans people, but good Lord. Even if it WERE okay and justified, it's so obvious they care about their sacred right to be aggressive towards other people over literally anything that will ever actually help a single trans woman.
They're exploiting the concept of "punching up" to be mindlessly cruel to another group of marginalized people. And frankly that should be insulting on it's own. Even if you did buy into the explanation that the word was coined by trans women mad about some non-binary people scabbing for Wymyn's Warped Tour,* they're seriously saying that's the equivalent of centuries of enslavement and violent terror? Like yeah, God, remember that time some th**fabs got to watch a bunch of cis women play acoustic guitar while reciting bad poetry and I didn't? That was exactly like a burning cross in the yard warning me to not vote.
*AND IT FUCKING WASN'T
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i really do wonder what a bts comeback will mean and does every member have a plan figured out for themselves.
fan accounts going awol when some members were exploring their artistic individuality and only now resurfacing because a group reunion is closer - it makes you think. was there ever even an artistic connection? or was it more about what has been sold to the audience over musical talents - an entertaining family dynamic/bond fans can project onto. fitted roles where a member is only likeable if they’re playing it just right.
2024 changed my feelings for good on where i think i belong, and there’s probably little that could happen for me to want to be part of bts’ fandom again.
firstly, there’s only so far you can go being a fan of tae and having to witness on a daily basis the level of disrespect he faces from both company and fandom no one else has. when you see quite literally the worst of the worst, day after day, but it’s only a limited amount of fans who voice concern and make actual space for the exclusive severity of it all to be acknowledged and discussed and questioned…you either stay and pretend it’s not happening/it’s not “the actual worst” because it’s impossible to satisfy every fan, orrrrr—
i mean, everything until up to now has been with the intent of a) making us fall for the brainwashing so we stop advocating for him as an individual, or b) exhaust us into quitting being his fan so his label can turn around and say to him hey look—why did you think you could make it when no one likes you?
and i obviously believe other members are a victim in their own way too. because you would have to be living under a rock to not see that hybe does not respect its idols as workers, as money makers, and as humans. neither does it protect most of them, the actual opposite for specifically taegikook and so a fan of the group or not, anyone would naturally want better for hybes idols across the board because they deserve better than staff badmouthing them in official reports and on online platforms.
of course there are other reasons i’ve had enough, such as contractual fan service being pushed so much whilst at the same time fandom reactions being intensely watched and made note of to the extent labels are out here monitoring fanfiction and assigning tropes to members and not caring what type of delusion and hate that cultivates??! to the group motto of “us is always before me” being celebrated, to fandom not actually caring about idols’ rights, to fandom falling for a dirty pr firm’s media manipulation/fabrication so easily, to hybe basically being in all fandom spaces with their dumb ass bots to sway opinion, to i mean the list goes on.
i don’t think i’d call myself bitter, or a hater, or a “solo.”once they return i’ll feel relief for all of them that that chapter of their life is over and they came out safe and sound (🙏), but i confess i have little excitement for a group album because group songs mean one thing for fans of tae and group arrangements always do the opposite of wanting him to shine and group entertainment is hard to enjoy when you know there’s a script running more often than not at his expense.
a tour? well i know there’s sincerity in how important performing is, and it’ll probably mean a lot after 18 months of being forced away from that, so it will be nice to see them doing what they find enjoyable yes. do i look forward to the exerting schedules for the sake of making up for hybes financial losses? do i look forward to the billionaire continuing to rip them off while he carries on riding their success as his own?
i know there are contracts. i know idols’ rights are a topic of concern and few are willing to talk about it and make a change. i know their industry can get really manipulative really fast as soon as they step out of line and that can lead to a really dark reality. i know there’s always a bad guy in the story. i know the group is still important and loved by tae (and jk), i know he wants to think the best of the group’s fandom because he is still a group member, i know i’ll support him wherever he goes but like
it’s just hard to forget the least three years and stay unaffected.
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?
Draconic Alterhuman is my basic "summary" term to use. I also am a myth type, otherkind, fictionfolk (otherhearted, flicker, and othervague), anymic, folcintera, archetroper, otherlinker.
Niche term that is more just identity instead of a whole category subgroup I utilizes are kardiatype, paratype, othervague.
Our plurality is bit more on the alterhuman side of things, so that gets put under here.
edit: can't believe I keep forgetting nonhuman. Or I can. Human don't say human as part of their identity terms, so I think that's only natural I don't say I'm part of the nonhuman group, I just am nonhuman, and happen to be under that category.
2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any) Is it okay if I just copy paste my profile descriptor?
dae-median quoiSinglet with two daemons (Anymic) Shapeshifter Dream Dragon otherkind & folcintera Uzumaki Naruto otherhearted Japanese pacific ocean dragon kardiatype three-tailed enfield para-heartlink Aurelion Sol (collective) vaguetype Mew Paraarchetrope Bond Thread Weaver Archetrope Ninja Archetrope Flammie vague-flicker
3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?
I'm nearly permashifted, so I think phantom is my most common one. I have a lot of cameo dream shift, and I don't really know how to say if they are strange, but they are wild. I tend to never had the same sort of dream shift, human or otherwise. I'm not the same human, I'm not the same creature, hell, I get to be all sorts of dragon that has nothing in common with myself. It gets crazy.
4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?
Vibin' and chillin'. Largely just via interacting and talking with other in the community, make noises at partner and occasionally talks about my experience with them.
5/ What do you think of the community? It's got its ups and downs, good and bad, like any community really. I do love our community, but I'm also aware I'm selective in where I spend my time. I wish we could be more aligned and unified, but that's unlikely. We are all simply too different. The single thread of commonality of not experiencing "typical" or "standard" human identity is but one thread.
6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity? Acceptance, acknowledgment, and engagement.
I can wear gear, have art, play games, or watch shows that resonate with me, but they are for comfort and resonance. Having safe people and places where I can not only be myself, but be accepted as myself, and others engaging with me with this acknowledgement gives me the most euphoria.
7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria? Not all the time, but yes I had experienced species specific dysphoria.
8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened? Research, read, and reach out.
Don't hole up in the first subcommunity you find, and try not to treat any trauma you received as the end-all-be-all for how your future alterhuman community experience will be like. Branch out, LEARN. The alterhuman community has a lot of folks who are queer, who are neurodivergent, disabled, or had dealt with trauma, possibly like you and me. That means there will be lots of clashing intentionally or unintentionally. Be kind to others, and be kind to yourself, alterhumanity is about self-exploration, which can translate to self-reflection.
I had to use the word, but study. Please don't add to the misinformation by regurgitating the piecemeal information you got right away. Chew on them, and learn the different types of alterhumanity. And by the love of all that's rainbow and sunshine, please know the basis of alterhumanity is that it includes a wide variety of identities--it includes nonhuman AND human, it includes identify-as and identify-with and MORE. Also therian is NOT just earthen animal, it is about feeling like an animal, being an animal, and having animality, so yes you can call yourself a therian dragon or therian human if it feels right. Don't treat anyone from your canon or source as 1-to-1 as what's on screen/text/book/game/whatever format. Dragons are more than "typical european/western dragon". Not all concepts originate from alterhuman spaces, reincarnation is definitely not from alterhuman.
Always remember, that it is your identity, and nobody can tell you your experience is wrong. You can do whatever you want with your identity forever! This also is specific about your species or type of identity, and labels (nobody can tell you if you fit under a label or not). BUT this is not about the label's definition so please, please don't go changing a label's known definition.
Nothing is ever black and white, everything has nuance. This will be very hard. But please, stop, read through everything, and then think.
Still, have fun, enjoy your discovery journey, remember that you are not alone, there's a whole community alongside you. Watch out for discourse, keep your eyes open but minds even more open. Make friends, follow the flow. Good luck!
9/ Do you have/want to have gears? I have a pair of tiny wings, a smol tail, number of pins, part of my wardrobe is my color. I would really like to one day have a full quadsuit though, or at least a head piece, or horns. Do you know how hard it is to find straight-back horns that aren't "devil" "demon" and dragon horns that aren't curled curved spiral or spiked? I still want to get Assassin's Creed tailcoat jacket, and a Uzushio forehead protector (which I cannot find anywhere TAT)
10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate) The origin of our kinity is too complex, but I think part of it is the influence of our kardiatype, thus we are a dragon. You can say it is past life origin, but we really hate that. Our kintype is NOT based in past life, so like a "soul is dragon" thing, but also not quite. We aren't physical, biologically animal, more monsters, energy being? So we are inhibiting this body.
Ironically in a way, the hearttype Naruto is in fact a past life, or it feels like it.
Number of our linktype are quoiluntary in nature, one is due to paratype feeling, the other is social origin, where we wanted to be with others and to make a sort of gag 'type (which turned pretty serious).
The ninja archetrope is likely past lives business. Mew is paratype archetrope. The Bond Weaver we are uncertain where the origin lays.
11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈ @dinocanid @talon-dragonbeast @nimdreams @liondrakes @casserole01 @karak9 @byte-count @unearthlygamer May I interest yall in this?
If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!
(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?
2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)
3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?
4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?
5/ What do you think of the community?
6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?
7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?
8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?
9/ Do you have/want to have gears?
10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)
11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈
#alterhuman#community activity#I was gonna tag a whole bunch of identity terms but like#it's not focused enough on anything#ask game#?#kinda?#prompt game#reblog game
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I think people miss out on so much of Everlark with the modern way we see romance, ngl.
The softness, the gentleness, the peace they have around one another IS the passion. That is the excitement! And it remains even with the feelings change and morph as all feelings and emotions do. There should be something so thoroughly thrilling finding someone who even when they don't make you happy (because no human being on earth is gonna make you happy all the time), their happyness makes brings you joy. And what that builds is the bond between you is such an adventure.
That is why Katniss is never board or lacking in excitement with Peeta around. He brings out her creative side, her fun and soft side- ya know. The side of her that exsists when she isn't having to fight for her life or work to bring in the next meal day to day. The side of her she WANTS the freedom to explore.
It beats out this hyper emotional, volatile all consuming passion based on nothing other than feelings and emotions ANYDAY. At least in my eyes.
#I got on a soap box with this one my apologizes#and yes I do think this is the basis for A LOT of the the hate Everlark receiveds#Because no they don't contain this Hollywood romance#instead they have a lot of really deep exploration of the kind of love that leads people to live whole lives together#Everlark#Katniss Everdeen#Peeta Mellark#The Hunger Games
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🎙 Where did you first get the idea for Ghost?
// Oh, I actually have a lot of stuff to talk about for this one.
Initially, Mylah's mod and I were working on a sort of villain and hero au with two other ocs, but at some point we realized that the characterizations of both of them had gone so off the rails that these were essentially two entirely new guys.
So we made them into new characters! Paris is pretty much a piece that split off of that initial oc because of that, which...
Here's the two of them side by side. I think for a while Paris was called "Bootleg Tomas" (The guy on the left) up until uh... mid february 2022, when he was first mentioned by name... Which was chosen by a random number generator. (Apparently the other options were Emil, Calyx, and Orion...)
Originally Paris in personality was very similar to Tomas, aka more softspoken and quiet, but he's had a lot of other things and media influence him, from a character in a funny skateboard anime to my own fucking dad (LMAO), so there's a lot, and a lot more that's definitely been lost to time since then.
#The villain vs. Hero au that him and his rival came for has obviously set the basis for their dynamic sort of... multi-universally#also yes Paris has been redesigned a LOT since that original split. I think I've vaguely joked about White Boy Paris on here before.#Those were dark times indeed. and No you do not get to see white boy Paris. I'm not going to dig any of that up#asks#Anonymous#ooc#ask game#pkmn irl
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This is an extremely lopsided way of looking at things tbh
If you read psychiatric writing about things like biomarkers or medicalization, especially long career retrospectives, you'll have the very fun time of watching someone who poured their entire life into something fundamentally stupid wrestle with the three or four different layers of cognitive dissonance they've built up to obscure what's written plainly on nearly every page of the DSM:
Reproducing normative culture is "good for you". Mental illness is failing to reproduce normative culture. If you don't even WANT to try to reproduce normative culture, you're extra sick (antisocial) and need extra force.
Most of the people who implement that force think themselves kind.
I think it follows pretty naturally from a lot of what you're saying that it's impossible to write out a definitive diagnosis of any mental illness that is universally self-affirming: like you've said, there's matters of perspective here; and thus, the entire psychiatric complex is reliant on authority and force. Almost all psychiatrists have completely bought their own hype and continue to search for mythical biomarkers to unite classes of patients when what actually unites us is usually a lot closer to the surface (society sucks).
Narratives are not inherent to reality-- there is no god or great creator telling the story, and all we've got are fallible meat sponges throwing connections together. Medicine is, fundementally, a narrativizing process, even though western doctors like to kick and scream about how they alone have the divine right of kings about it. We can call it a predictive model, if narrative is too woo. We know, from contemporary and historical sources, that lots of medical modalities are & have been functional while using decidedly un-scientific predictive models--which occasionally even stand up to scientific vigor when done in good faith & including legitimate experts in non western modalities (see: integrative TCM). A diagnosis is when you pick some data points and tell a story about it; and if it's good medicine, that story will do what the person who is telling the story wants it to. It's all definition games and social contracts: if a doctor can tell a story where it would be better for a loud, difficult, resistive patient to be lobotomized to become quiet, agreeable, and not do much of anything...unfortunately they usually get to be "right".
Which is all to say... yes, this is the "internal" problem of psychiatry as it has defined its own truths and objectives (asterisk being that, as a field made up of People, we can always find psychiatrists who personally disagree with this assessment): but that the problem in greater context is less about the efficacy of the predictive models and more about who is telling the stories, what their goals are, and what that means for those of us with conflicting interests.
Now, I do not believe that the sum total of experiences labeled under mental illness are fake, or that if psychiatry disappeared tomorrow we'd all just be kicking it. I also don't object to concepts like "symptom" clusters or some form of physical/neurochemical basis for the different ways people tend to struggle--mind body dualism is a scam after all and adding similar experiences to one's predictive model can be incredibly useful. But who is telling the story matters a lot. The consequences don't neccesarily come from ineffective interventions--taking a drug that doesn't do what you want it to is usually pretty low-stakes and there's a lot of options and preexisting information out there for people to titrate the risks they'd like to personally take on. It's individuals' lack of personal control/decision making authority in the process.
You have correctly identified that it can be relatively easy for systems of power to decide what story they want to impose about who is sick and who is well, but extremely difficult to actually impose that story onto people by force. Learning more about the brain in ways that could make that easier is good for power; but because my goals and desires in the world are fundementally opposed to power, I don't really think it would be good for me.
The problem with psychiatry isn't that in principle there can be no such thing as a disease of the mind or a treatment for such a disease, it's that psychiatrists don't actually know how the mind works at any kind of fine mechanical level, the way a medical doctor roughly does with the body; where we know what a heart attack is no one knows what schizophrenia or bipolar disorder is. And no one has a good and consistent answer for where the line between mere idiosyncrasy or difference of viewpoint, preference, or behavior and mental pathology should be drawn. The problem with psychiatry in other words is that psychiatrists don't actually know very much, they are trying to treat you by letting blood to balance your humors and hoping it improves something. And it may, or it may not, or it may yield illusory improvements (as bloodletting sometimes did) while doing more damage than it is healing, or whatever else. Because psychiatrists are treating an organ (the brain) whose workings neither they nor anyone else actually understands.
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hey guess what my car trauma includes the *inside* of the car too apparently! :D :| idk i feel like getting made fun of for having to eat fast food in my car between work and school while my catalytic converter shat itself to the point that my back seat footwells were filled completely with various QSR trash maybe gave me some sort of complex. Just a hunch though, who knows.
#i fucking despise my father today#perhaps instead of making fun of people who are exhibiting signs of struggle we find out what their struggle is#and help them out with it might be a more 'christian' thing to do Dad#but that would also require me to be a people to him and for anyone's struggles to be categorized by HIM as struggling#and his criteria is *narrow* on that front#god i hate this man so much right now i am just furious#yes there was a (only sort of) related incident that set me off on this - no it's not important or actually relevant#because i live with *nice* people now who understand that folks be going through some shit and also are willing to help when they can#but also my anxiety spiked so hard and fast my body only registered it as anger and i ended up snapping at my partner for no good reason#and i'm frustrated and embarrassed and sad about that even though we just talked it out and it's okay i think#because like...they didn't need that. they don't need to deal with all of this nonsense - neither partner nor meta do#and the fact that things like this happen on a semi-regular basis makes me so....#well frustrated embarrassed and sad#and angry but i try to direct that where it's actually meant to go and not at myself as much because a lot of the things i do#are coping mechanisms and behavior patterns that i no longer need to keep me safe#but i don't have as many backup options as I had previously thought and it's hard to reach for new ones when i'm In A State#so we're just...handling it. It's fine. I'm fine.#i do hate my father though
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It’s really fun and really cool when ur mom dismisses ur anxiety and makes u feel stupid and crazy and AAUUUHHVGBHHH.
#I need to move out ASAP but I don’t have a job and my friends and partners live too far and#my mom has been doing this ever since my anxiety got worse because she just looks at me like I’m crazy and comes up with some bullshit#answer like ‘ oh everyone has anxiety “’ SURE YES BUT YOUR CHILD SUFFERS FROM IT EVERY SINGLE DAY ?#like I literally deal with this shit EVERY DAY and she KNOWS that and all she has to say about it is that everyone deals with it every day#okay but does everyone curl into a ball and cry so much that they can’t breathe and their head feels like it’s going to explode because of#a weird symptom/bodily sensation that they have probably dealt with before and been fine#does everyone dissociate on a regular basis because their anxiety is so bad that they need to dissociate to cope#does everyone get depressed from how anxious they are because it’s so debilitating and sometimes I feel like there’s no way out#no !!!!! I don’t think so!!!! so why does she act like my anxiety is fucking normal !!!!! it is not !!!#and then she wonders why I never talk to her (which i do by the way because I love her deep down even if her words are literal deep cuts#and have genuinely scarred me)#that’s the painful part is that i love my mom but I can’t understand why she doesn’t want to grasp the idea that my anxiety may be a little#a LOT worse than normal#she doesn’t think I have an anxiety disorder or autism#so she basically just thinks I’m insane#her neurotypical brain cannot even grasp the idea of her child having neurological problems#because she just wants me to be ‘ normal ‘#guess what mother you gave birth to me I inherited YOUR genes so what’s that telling me about you#I’m so tired#sorry for the long ass vent in the tags I’m suffering a GREAT fucking deal rn#vent tw#anxiety
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Therapist: Do you believe in God, Alex?
Alex: That’s what this all comes down to, right? That’s what I’m trying to figure out here. Because if there is a God, then somehow this all makes sense, I mean there’s gotta be a reason. Some master plan in which Greg’s dying and my living makes sense.
T: What do you think?
A: The analytical side of me says no. On a straight cost efficiency basis, you can’t prove it. There’s no annual report. There’s no pictures at the board of directors- I mean, no recent ones. And there’s just a lot of things that can’t be accounted for. But then there are these miraculous things. Phenomena of nature. Like mountains, and oceans, and Skippy getting dressed by himself. And you gotta think, that somebody’s helping out with that. The answer is yes, I do believe in God. But not a mean, angry god, like the God’s you see on TV. Not with the preachers and always asking to send them money. And not a groovy God, like Mallory’s god- matching sweatpants and headband. And not a god like Brother Timothy’s God, either, because I just can’t believe that god made me stay away from girls. I think God is gentle. And forgiving. And not one special form, you know? Maybe one day he’s a dolphin. Next day, he’s trading shares on Wall Street. It would be funny if one day he got mixed up and went to Wall Street as a dolphin.
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one goofy ass thing i like about my job is we all really like having staff feedback after programs (like after in service, after summer reading, etc) because it just makes it easier to make it actually helpful and easier next time around and that’s all we want right, like PERSONALLY i don’t want to be anxious about a program and dreading it all year, which means i get to do what i Love which is offer my opinion constructively so i can be like “i think some people just don’t understand paylocity, it is a little confusing & for them, going through that app is this scary time sink so they don’t open it ever.” and no one is taking it personally because five other people wrote in “beanstack scares me” and “i’m not using teams” and we can just adjust our expectations of our older coworkers instead of writing people up for it akskd.
#i was like “’not me tho i get it but maybe ask [tech person] to do an explainer? i believe they have a whole bit about this’#and then we get a explainer on it the next in service and all the tech afraid people are like ‘oh you can turn it on on the desktop?’ yes 😭#we had a whole thing about office bc they’ve tried to explain they pinned the ‘POLICIES AND PROCEDURES ON REPORTED LOST CHILD’ on the#share point bc it’s a library that’s something that happens on a semi regular basis and we live off a busy street it’s important to make#sure the kid didn’t wander out of the building those cars Will mow you down.#and the collective ‘OH!’ when they showed us how to get to the sharepoint. i figured that out day 2.#i bookmarked the page and added my own books marks. like half of them were shocked.#they have been here 10 years or more. 😭#i like to say ‘i love hearing about what the director does during the day i think the projects are all fascinating’ bc i think phrasing a#compliment for like ~admin transparency~ as a compliment is imo the best way to reward admin transparency.#also tbh yes it Is interesting to me like being a director is honestly a lot about Building Maintenence as it is budget and networking and#managing big problems with staff etc. it’s honestly fascinating how much she has to know about upkeep as director.#also. listen i’m sorry i love being bribed with food. have office hours with snacks. give me an excuse not to work.#i loved staff day at goodwill too i loved not dealing w work and badgering the corporate guy while the managers worked the front#and then getting pizza. they would grill for us on employee appreciation day.#do u know what my department store did. they gave us a payday bar.#that shits insulting like just don’t do anything? u Kno u pay shit and have is on these ass schedules what’s your problem why are u gloating#now ya closed!#it’s karma!#anyways this one is nice i think my manager is really bad at schedules and this is a gripe i’ve heard from wveryon so it’s not just me but#it’s other wise as everyone puts it ‘not nearly as toxic as other libraries’ like no one here is actively committing psychological warfare#over some office job nonsense. our patrons aren’t actively trying to get us shut down. that’s a nice change.
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Yes im trans girl Laios-pilled for several reasons but honestly the thing that hits home for me the most is Laios's rejection by izutsumi (both personally and done multiple times on her behalf by the other members of a party) and how isolating and confusing it is that he personally is given separate boundaries for reasons he can't understand.
As a child and long into adulthood id have these experiences where certain situations where our collective is suddenly split by gender. the girls are doing this together, this conversation is girls only. My exclusion made some kind of sense, I was a boy. But it felt deeply upsetting that there was some thing about me that i didn't even understand that made me not one of them. And no one else seemed upset about being put in the wrong category! So the only conclusion i could make was my desire to be included in the girls' spaces and activities was strange and creepy, itself justifying my exclusion.
Back to Laios, we've already talked a lot about is autism, and how he deeply relates to monsters and how they are misunderstood. Kitty-moded Izutsumi rejects pets from Laios, but in the normal world, his exclusion is almost entirely enforced by the others (mainly chilchuck). We know that Laios is not being a pervert when he wants to look at Izutsumi, she herself explicitly doesn't care about being seen naked, but the rest of the group decides this is a boundary that shouldn't be crossed. Similarly in the adventurers' bible, Zumi tries to find comfort in sleeping next to Laios, who starts giving her pets as if she were a cat. Again, Izutsumi herself isn't uncomfortable with this, quite the opposite. Chilchuck sees this and aggressively puts a stop to it, allowing her to share a bed with him instead. Both reasons i could think of for doing this, that he perceives it as either perverse (which it isn't) or as bad optics (it is) both exclude Laios from a connection with Izutsumi on the basis of conforming to social norms.
Ignoring all that, just the idea that Laios envies Izutsumi for traits that for herself are deep sources of self-hatred is like yeah, trans :3
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Nursed By Love
lando norris x fem reader
summary: Lando got sick during the first race of the triple header and you made it your mission to take care of him. (2.7k words)
warnings: stablished relationship, fluff, sick!lando, taking a shower together (not in a sexual way), use of Y/N
a/n: not gonna lie, this turned out shorter than i expected 😭 i wanted to write more and include the entire weekend but i literally couldn't come up with more, i’m sorry if it feels a little rushed but i hope you still like it!
check out the original request here! also, this is somewhat of a prequel to my fic Sick; it has a couple of references here and there but it can be read as a standalone.
↺ back to navigation — send me a request!
Lando woke up before you, something that was normal in your relationship given the strict agenda he had to follow almost on a daily basis. He checked his phone to see how much time left he had before having to get up, sighing when he realised his alarm would go off soon.
He valued his sleep, like a lot, so he figured he wouldn't let those few minutes go to waste, so he pulled the covers again up to his neck, but he was feeling a little colder than usual, so he did what he usually does: he reached for you and pulled you into him, embracing you so lovingly.
This made you wake up, slowly opening your eyes to get used to the light. “Hey,” you whispered, not completely sure if he was awake.
"Sorry, baby,” he said with a sleepy voice as his nose nudged into the crook of your neck.
“It’s okay. What time is it?”
“Almost time to go, actually.”
“Okay, let’s get going then.” You said, pulling away from his embrace, making him whine as he quickly reached for your arm.
“No, let’s stay in bed a little longer,” he looked at you with his sweet eyes as he tried to convince you to go back to him.
“I don’t want us to be late again.”
“We won’t. We still have a few minutes, I promise.”
With that, you cuddled him again, this time facing him. After all, how could you possibly say no to him? “Okay, but as soon as the alarm goes off, we are getting up.”
"Yes, ma’am,” he replied happily as he buried his face on your neck again, enjoying the way you were scratching his scalp.
Truth is, he was feeling more tired than usual. Sure, he always hated having to wake up early, but something about the way he was feeling that day wasn’t right. You felt it too; his skin against your neck was hotter than it normally was.
“You okay?”
He shook his head, hugging you tighter. “I think I’m getting sick.”
You pulled away again, the back of your hand falling on his forehead. “Baby, you have a fever.” He just hummed in response as he tried to get you to go back to your previous position. “Lando, I’m being serious. You can’t just ignore it.”
“It’s not like I can call in sick.”
“I know, but you can’t go around all day without at least taking something. What else are you feeling?” You asked, worried eyes looking back at him.
“I’m just cold… and tired.”
“Okay, I’ll run to get you something, and you start getting ready. Sounds good?”
He immediately shook his head and, once again, tried to cuddle you. “You promised we’d stay here until the alarm went off.”
“I know, my love, but this is the first race of the triple header, and you need to be okay. You shouldn’t do it while being sick,” you said, rubbing his check softly. “I’ll meet you at the track, yeah?”
“No, please. Let’s just cuddle for a bit longer,” he insisted.
You sighed, debating in your mind what you should do. On one hand, you knew he wouldn’t give up, and it really couldn’t hurt to just cuddle him for a little while; he really needed it after all, but on the other, he really needed to take something so he wouldn’t feel that way for the rest of the weekend—not only that, but the two other weekends he had ahead of him.
“It’s only media day. I’ll be okay.”
“Okay,” you finally gave in, “but I’m serious, you have to take something.”
“I will. I will get checked later today at the track. Don’t worry,” he reassured you.
“Yeah, I’ll make sure of that.” You went back to your cuddly position as your hand caressed the back of his head.
“I know you will.”
The minutes went by too quickly to his liking, the alarm going off just moments later. To him, it felt like 5 seconds, not 5 minutes. He groaned when you started to get up, leaving the warmth and comfort of the hotel bed to start getting ready for the day.
“We had a deal, c’mon,” you said, offering him your hand. He took it, but that didn’t mean he wanted to.
“I wish we could stay here all day.” He stood in front of you and cupped your face as his thumbs caressed your cheeks.
“Aw, I know, my love, but the day will be over before you know it, and we can come back later to cuddle a little more, okay?”
He just nodded and made his way to the bathroom. You both started getting ready quickly, knowing the car that would take you to the track was probably already downstairs waiting for you.
Once you had everything you needed, he took your hand and gave it a little kiss, whispering a soft “Okay, time to go” before leaving the room.
You got to the track, and he immediately had to start doing things for the weekend that awaited him; you knew he wouldn’t get checked or take something unless you were on his hair about it, so you thought telling Jon would be a good idea.
It was hard to find a moment to go to the clinic due to their busy schedule, but you were able to finally drag him there.
You were standing close to him as he dangled his feet on the small bed, getting his throat checked by the doctor.
“It seems like you have a cough, nothing too serious,” the doctor said as she stepped away from him, writing something on the piece of paper attached to the wooden board where she was writing down his symptoms. “I will give you some medicine; take this right now, and then make sure you take it every 8 hours. Something for the fever too, in case you feel sick later, but only take one, and only if you get a fever. Also some painkillers; have you had any headaches?”
“A little bit, last night.”
“Any other thing you have been feeling?”
“I think that’s all.”
“Alright, that should be all then. Drink a lot of fluids and stay away from any alcohol or smoking. It’s not too bad, but if anything comes up, you know where to find me.”
Lando was just nodding, but you paid attention to everything she said, making a mental note of how to take care of him.
Once they were done with all the paperwork, you left the clinic, Lando holding everything the doctor had prescribed.
“I will hold on to those, thank you,” you said, taking all the medicine and putting it in your bag, safe and sound. You checked the time and set a reminder for 8 hours, so you didn’t forget about the cough medicine.
“Thank you, my love,” he said before kissing the top of your head.
You looked up at him with a smile, feeling sad that he got sick at the beginning of the triple header. You knew how demanding his job was and how demanding he was on himself, so it wouldn’t be a smooth recovery, so the least you could do was help him however you could.
“Lando, we have to get going. I think they are already waiting for us,” Jon said as he typed something on his phone.
The rest of the day was a little boring, which was expected considering Lando and Oscar had to spend all day talking to people or recording some videos and interviews, but you never left his side, just in case he needed something or started to feel sick again. Any time he was away from the people or cameras, you immediately ran up to him, your hand landing somewhere on his skin to make sure he didn’t have a fever.
“How are you feeling?”
“Still a little tired, and my throat is starting to bother me again. But other than that, all good.”
“Oh, is it too bad?”
“Not too bad; I guess all the talking isn’t really helping,” he chuckled, in hopes of not worrying you too much, but you couldn’t help it, and he knew that.
“I figured. You should drink some water,” you handed him the bottle you had been holding all day. He took it and drank the water that was left, thankful that you made sure to have it on you the whole time. “Where are we going now?”
“We are staying here. We have a couple more things to do.” You nodded, holding his hand for just a moment since someone called his name from the other side of the room. “I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?”
“Okay.” You let go of his hand, watching as he joined Oscar and some other people on a big couch. They were talking about the next video they had to film, so since he was busy with his job, you figured you could step away for a moment.
You wandered around as you looked up what the best tea was to help with a sore throat. Once you settled on ginger, you looked everywhere for it, but it wasn’t as common as you hoped. You did manage to find some, finally, and you ran back to the McLaren hospitality so you could give it to him. Thankfully, when you found him, he was just scrolling on his phone, sitting away from everyone.
“Hey, I brought you some tea. This should help your sore throat.” He looked up from his phone to take the disposable cup you were holding. “It might not be as hot as it should be, but it should still do the trick,” you said nervously.
“What is it?” He asked, sniffing it.
“Ginger.”
“Ginger? Where did you find ginger tea?”
“You don’t wanna know,” you said as you sat on his lap.
“Thanks, darling,” he whispered before taking a sip, clearing his throat afterwards.
“You should drink all of it.”
“It’s a little spicy. Do you want to try?” He said, offering you the cup.
“No, I don’t want your germs,” you joked, making him laugh. You laughed with him, enjoying the little glimpse of his dimple.
“I’m afraid you got those when we kissed.”
It wasn’t instant, but the tea definitely helped. The rest of the day went on quicker since all the major stuff got done in the morning, so before you knew it, you were already back at the hotel.
“Lando, take this.” You were taking out the bag of medicine you got from the doctor that morning, picking up the bottle that he was supposed to drink every 8 hours.
“What is it?”
“Your medicine, silly. It’s time.”
He made a disgusted face as he took it. “It tastes horrible.”
“I know, but you can’t skip it.” You stood there until he was done, an even more disgusted look adorning his face. “Are you feeling better than this morning?”
He nodded, giving you back the bottle since he knew you wanted to keep all his medicine together. “Will you take a shower with me?” He asked out of nowhere. You raised your eyebrows at his question, and he realized how it came across so immediately clarified. “Not for that reason.”
You couldn’t hold your laugh, but you quickly realised he just needed help. “Do you want me to help wash your hair?”
“Please.If you are okay with it.”
You followed him to the bathroom, turning on the water and making sure it was warm and nice while he discarded his clothes. He stepped in first, letting out a small moan when the warm water started to cover his body. He offered you his hand once you got naked, his strong arms wrapping around your body when you joined him.
You stayed like that for a moment, until you pulled away to gently massage his scalp.
“This is nice,” he cooed, his eyes closing as he relaxed at the feeling.
“Mhmm, I’m glad, baby.”
“Are we going to sleep after this?” His eyes met yours as he awaited for your answer, smiling when you nodded. “Good, you promised some cuddles this morning.”
“I know, I haven’t forgotten.” It warmed your heart that he had been looking forward to it, but it broke it at the same time because, even though he always asked for it, you knew it was different this time. “Bent down a little for me,” you instructed as you reached for the shampoo and squeezed some on your hand. He did as you asked, leaving his head in perfect reach for you.
Your fingertips went back to massage his scalp gently as you made sure you covered all of it. He was humming at your touch, his eyes closing as he enjoyed the soothing sensation.
“Does your head hurt?”
“A little,” he admitted, “not too bad, though.” You looked at him with sad eyes, wishing you could take his pain away and take it yourself.
“Okay, I will give you something for that, and then we can go to bed, okay?”
You continued helping him for the rest of the shower, and then he offered to help you the same way you did. You accepted, but it did take a little longer considering you had a lot more hair than he did, but he was happy to do it. When you were both done, you stepped back into the bathroom, handing him a towel and making him sit on the little stool in front of one of the mirrors.
With tired eyes, Lando met your gaze through the mirror, paying attention to your every move as you dried his hair. He loved the way your face scrunched when you were focused, sticking out your tongue from time to time. You were being so gentle with him that he almost felt like crying, but he held those emotions back, not wanting to worry you even more than you already were.
Once his hair was fully dried and you helped him with most of his nightly routine, you guided him to the bedroom and gave him a pill for his headache, letting him get under the covers afterwards. He dragged you with him, pulling you into a hug as soon as you got there.
“Can we do this every night?” He asked, his face burying in your neck as he usually does.
“Of course. Anything you want, my love. Are you comfortable?” You asked, a smile spreading across your face when he nodded.
“Thank you,” he whispered after a moment of silence, his mind drifting off into a peaceful sleep as you massaged his muscles.
Lando fell asleep almost instantly, allowing you to go to sleep once you made sure he was fully knocked out for the night.
A few hours went by, both of you enjoying each other’s warmth, until the sound of an alarm interrupted your sleep. You groaned as you reached for your phone to turn it off, but immediately sat up and grabbed his medicine.
Lando shuffled next to you, groaning too as he slightly opened his eyes to quickly scan the room. “It’s still dark outside, why do you have an alarm?” He asked, his voice sleepy and his eyes half closed as he looked at you.
“Sorry, love, it’s time for your medicine again.”
He sat up and took the little spoon you were offering him, his sleepy state saving him from the terrible taste it had. Once he was done, he fell on his pillow again and pulled into him, going back to your previous position.
“Thank you for taking care of me. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Even though the sleep was evident in his voice, you could still hear how truly thankful he was.
You placed your hands on each of his cheeks, causing his eyes to flutter shut in contentment. “Of course, what type of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t?” A soft kiss was pressed to his forehead before he brought you closer to him, a little ‘I love you’ scaping his lips as he went back to sleep.
#lando norris#ln4#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris smut#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x you#lando norris fluff#formula 1#f1#lando norris x y/n#mclaren#giannaln4 writes
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A simplification:
Level 1-upper 2/lower 3: "yeah i can see that happening."
Level 4: "where did that even come from? that doesn't make any goddamn sense/he would not say that."
it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this
#rant in the tags#YES OH MY GOD#might sound like a hypocrite after posting my own headcanons recently but eh#this is how i feel about....a lot of things#i rarely ever venture into level 3 territory#and when i do it's often because i don't like the work in question (but still study it. for science)#or feel it could've been so much more and just...isn't#but i feel like there's a LOT of level 4 out there that people somehow don't recognize as such#maybe they've spent too long without the source to give them information#or they somehow don't care despite saying all the time how much it means to them#and for some reason level 3-4 gets promoted to fanon VIP really fast#sometimes i wonder why i bother trying to stick closer to level 1-2 when that's apparently not what people want to see#or what they seem to like more as a whole#seems at least someone misinterpreted what this meant#it's not 'fanfic sucks and you should stop making it'#it's 'you literally made something up about this that has no basis whatsoever'#and they often don't bother to explain/it still makes no sense#it's all about the oocs and the 'he would not fucking say that' and what have you#not 'omg you're not allowed to think that bc it didn't literally happen in the show/the creator didn't say so'#it's largely that lv3-onward fanon tends to give someone outside of fandom context the entirely wrong idea of what the actual work even is#and that what make me angy
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Dinner Party
Kyojuro x Sanemi x Tengen&wives x fem!reader
Warnings: Sex, Dirty Smut, MDNI, NSFW, strictly 18+. Group sex . Modern AU. Nearly 5k words Smut. Orgy. Rough oral.
Summary: Sanemi, your husband Kyojuro, and you enjoy dinner with Tengen and his wives at their place. The party ends with...sex. Essentially a pure smut. Enjoy!
Part 2: After Party out now
Masterlist
As Kyoujuro’s wife, you spent a lot of time with his co-workers. They all worked at a small, tight-knit firm that the three men founded together. Kyoujuro was friends with Tengen and Sanemi long before the two of you met, and they were the first people, even before his parents, that he introduced you to. And they were a lovely bunch. The flamboyant Tengen with his three gorgeous wives and the slightly on-edge Sanemi – a forever bachelor - the guy had much luck with women and yet did not seem to want to settle for anyone.
It was Saturday night and Tengen had you all over for one of his lavish dinners. His wives, Makio, Hinatsuru and Suma were the most gracious of hosts, preparing stunning meals and creating a lovely atmosphere with their bubbly personalities. The house was a modern villa, with a large and stylishly decorated living and dining space all wrapped around a Japanese-inspired closed-in courtyard that housed a garden and an onsen. You all usually stayed late into the night, chatting away, watching movies, and drinking.
The atmosphere tonight was just as friendly, however, something seemed to be on Tengen’s mind all night. He kept on giving you quick glances all through the dinner and lowering his gaze every time you caught him doing it.
After dinner, everyone made themselves comfortable in the large lounge, the girls snuggled up to Tengen, but he kept on looking at you, his gaze baring mischief. Kyoujuro, as always, was a bit too tipsy to even notice what Tengen was doing, he did not drink on a normal basis, so every time he did, he could not really handle it. He leaned his head on your shoulder and said out into the room,
‘Maybe we should go home now y/n, and leave our lovely hosts to enjoy the evening.’
‘Well, Kyo, good that you speak up, I was just about to suggest that you all stay here with us tonight’
The gorgeous white-haired man suddenly said, all the time looking you in the eyes, his movie-star smile was as wide as it got.
‘It is fine. Thanks for the offer, but we can take a taxi home, no need to have us mess up your guest room’ Kyojuro replied.
Tengen threw his head back and laughed.
‘Oh, no, my dear Kyo. Innocent as always.’ He smirked. ‘What I meant is, that you join us for our nightly activities this evening.’
He looked you in the eye again, as in anticipation, and then confronted you with zero shame.
‘What do you say, y/n. Would you mind sharing your husband with my girls?’
You looked at your husband and he was simply too stunned to even react. Before you could answer Tengen, he nodded toward Sanemi
‘How about you? Care for some fun?’
Sanemi smirked ‘You know I am always up for a good fuck.’
Tengen looked back at you and Kyojuro.
‘So, how about you guys?’ question directed more at you than Kyo.
You looked at Kyo whose cheeks were now red as a beet.
‘What do you think?’ you asked him
‘It is up to you, I guess’ he nearly stammered.
You looked back at Tengen and something very basic was waking up in you. His normally charming gaze was also turning darker and you now knew nothing better than to succumb to your baser instincts.
‘I am up for it. Yes, for sure.’
You looked at Kyo, who was staring at you in shock.
‘Baby, you will have fun. You will see. Besides, it would be rude to disappoint our gracious hosts.’ You smiled innocently at him, while your thoughts were anything but.
Tengen stretched out his arm to you and spoke
‘Come here then.’
When you walked up to him, he stood up and said to his wives:
‘Ok, you three have fun with the boys, I want this one to myself first’ With that he grabbed you by the hand and started to lead you away to their bedroom.
In the meantime, Sanemi shamelessly waved in Makio and Hinatsuru to come to him and soon enough the trio was getting on with clothes being ripped off and moans starting to fill the space. Kyoujuro was still seated in the same spot, but now with a visible erection growing in his pants. Suma walked over to him and knelt between his legs.
‘Do not be shy. I will help you relax’ she giggled massaging his clothed dick and making him moan quietly.
You were now being led through the spacious house to Tengen’s bedroom. His large hand holding yours softly and a sweet smile graced his handsome face. Your anticipation was growing with every step, your pussy slowly tightening and wetness forming between your legs. You always admired Tengen’s looks and physique, but honestly always dismissed any dirtier thoughts from lingering for longer than a flash of a second. But now, you were granted the possibility to finally explore and revisit all that you always pushed aside. At last, you reached the bedroom. It was big by normal standards, but not as large as you would imagine, most of it taken up by a huge bed. There were multiple doors leading to what you could make out as two ensuite bathrooms and nothing less but four separate walk-in closets. Walls were adorned with artwork and there was a large tv on the opposite wall. The room smelled of jasmine and other floral notes you did not quite recognise.
Tengen was standing behind you with his hands placed on your shoulders. He pressed himself tightly into your back and leaned down to kiss your neck. His large, muscular body was cradling you perfectly and he had to lean down far to reach your neck due to the considerable size difference between the two of you. You could feel his hard dick pressing into your waist and you started grinding yourself back on him. It felt huge, the hardness against your soft backside making you want to rip his clothes off and fuck him straight away.
His hands were now moving down your neck to your breasts. The feel of his large, warm hands on your exposed neckline was making you so freaking hot. Soon enough he was massaging your breasts with both hands, not being fully satisfied with touching you through your clothes, he reached down into your lowcut top and into your bra, playing gently with your nipples. You were eliciting some very lascivious moans as he took out your boobs from the bra and out of your top. He was tracing your neck and sides of your cheeks with his lips all the while you were bucking your back into his hard-on. He started to remove your top, with skillful hands unclipped your bra and tossed it to the side, and finally slid down your skirt and panties. All you were left wearing were your lace top stay-ups and high-heeled stiletto shoes.
Slowly, he started pushing you lightly, making you move toward the bed. He pushed far enough that you were now leaning over the edge of it supported by your stretched-out arms. He spread your legs wide and went down on his knees behind you spreading your ass cheeks and licking up a quick line along your wet folds. He kept on licking you between your legs with the flat of his tongue, but he needed better access to work more meticulously.
So now, he gently helped you switch positions and you were soon lying flat on your back with legs spread wide for him. He removed his shirt and you gasped at the sight of his naked torso. He grinned widely
‘You like what you see?’
He was very aware of what his looks did to women and found it amusing at times, but without being cocky about it. His fingers were spreading your labia and he focused on rubbing on one side while licking your clit area with slow and light movements of his wet muscle. A finger was drawing circles around the opening of your cunt with him increasing the pressure on the inside of your labia. You were experiencing so much pleasure now, all you could do was close your eyes and moan like a whore.
He kept his movements on you steady and firm, not moving from any spot until your moans were not as loud anymore, skillfully seeking out the next more sensitive spot by listening to your vocal response and the movement of your hips. He was essentially doing what you used to when you masturbated. His pussy eating skills were unmatched. As he felt your arousal intensify, your pussy clenching and spasming more and more he was now narrowing down his movements closer and closer to your clitoris, slowly sending you into overdrive. He was not cruel, however, and feeling you were about to edge, he now applied extra pressure on your clit and worked until you could no longer control yourself, the sensation of needing to pee quickly turning into an avalanche of ecstasy. You squirted all over him and kept on moaning even as you were descending from your high.
He climbed onto the bed next to you and started kissing you, making you taste your own juices.
‘You taste so good, y/n, I cannot get enough of you.’
Your hands were already fumbling with his zipper and soon you were sliding his pants and boxers off. When his dick was exposed, you stopped your action and grabbed hold of it, him doing the rest of the undressing. You were completely mesmerised by its size. Sure, Kyo was not small and you had your fair share of cock before him, but this? This was on another level. Tengen was nearly two meters tall and not directly lanky, with a strong muscular build so his size would most likely be reflected in his dick, but this was more than you ever thought was possible. Nine inches maybe? You swallowed and started slowly to lick him up his shaft, making him sigh in pleasure.
You were licking him and stroking with your hands for a while, lapping up the precum that steadily leaked out of his tip. Opening your mouth wide you started to sink yourself over his dick while pumping the rest of the huge shaft with one hand. He was rubbing you between your folds again, creating new wetness that was now running down your thighs. Come over here ‘he whispered and guided you to sit down on his face.’ You were in a full sixty-nine now. One of your favourite positions.
With a firm grip on your hips, he pulled you down so that you were fully seated on his mouth and started snaking his tongue into you. At the same time, you were now enthusiastically sucking him off, your cheeks hollowing and small gagging sounds coming out of your mouth every time you sank down on his length. He was gentle with your blow job, not bucking his hips nor pushing down your head. He was aware of his size and had enough control and experience to immerse himself in you doing the work for him instead.
His tongue was working relentlessly on your clit, with you bucking your hips back and forth to create more friction. You were edging now, but too focused on giving him pleasure to have your own release again. He must have felt you clench and get wetter as that went straight to his dick, you feeling it twitch, stiffen and a few more sucks later he came into your mouth, filling you up. You swallowed eagerly, the pleasant salty taste of him tantalising your senses. While you were licking him dry, he intensified his pressure on your crotch and you came again. Not a huge orgasm this time, but good enough to make you scream out briefly.
Now you lay next to each other, enjoying the lingering sensation of contentment and the warmth of still pulsing, blood-filled and swollen genitals. His hand was tracing lightly on your folds, smearing all the cum that leaked out of you.
You were now curious about what was going on in the living room… You lifted your head up a little and was listening to the distant sounds of pleasure. Tengen smirked and picked up a remote control. After a moment of fumbling the tv turned on and what came up on the screen was a bird’s eye view of Tengen’s living room.
‘You have cameras in there??’ you asked.
‘Yes, they are security cameras, but I just realised they could come to good use’ he said with a broad grin.
What was happening on the screen was a full-blown orgy.
Sanemi had Makio and Hinatsuru working on his cock, with Hinatsuru sucking his balls and Makio bobbing her head up and down with Sanemi pressing her head down in an unkind manner. His head was thrown back on the headrest and his teeth were gritted in pleasure.
All the while Kyoujuro was frenetically thrusting his hips and cock into Sumas backside who was moaning loud enough to wake up the neighbourhood.
You were staring at the screen with your pussy gradually getting wetter (if that was even possible from how soaked you already were). You were interrupted by Tengen, who was positioned between your legs with the large cock erect once again. Your look must have unveiled your worries as he said in a soft voice
‘It will fit. I promise. You are so wet anyway’. He smiled.
With that, he parted your pussy with his fingers and positioned his tip at the opening, pushing in slowly. The feeling of a cock this size filling you up was making you absolutely wild with arousal. You were moaning for every inch he was gaining on you. His actions were pure perfection, he really had an intimate knowledge of the female body. He could not bottom out yet, his cock simply too huge and your pussy clenching ferociously. But that did not bother him much. You would eventually open more.
He now started gently pumping his dick into you while watching the footage from the living room. He tilted your chin and turned your head toward him and with a delicate stroke to your cheek, he said in a soft but slightly condescending tone.
‘Do you like what you see?’ It was almost a whisper. ‘You are a very dirty girl, aren’t you?’
‘How about we give my girls a break and I call the boys in here for you? I think you might enjoy that…. I do not think you are satiated yet; I can see it in your eyes.’
You swallowed. You knew so well what he had in mind and the thought of all three males giving you this kind of attention made your body basically limp with arousal.
You kept on watching until everyone in the living room climaxed. Tengen pulled out of you, got up and disappeared into the living room. When he appeared on the screen you could hear him tell his wives to relax and put champagne on cooling. He needed the three men in the bedroom with you and him and you all would be a while, but you all would join the ladies in the hot tub for a relaxing soak and champagne afterward. The girls giggled and walked out of the living room.
The screen went empty and a moment later the three men appeared in the bedroom. Kyo with a heavy blush covering his face, the confident Sanemi with a smug smirk and finally Tengen with a peaceful expression in his smiling pink eyes.
‘Well, well, well. Aren’t you a horny one. Sure you wanna take all three of us at once?’
Sanemi blurted out in his usual cocky manner.
‘Did you know she was like this?’ he asked turning to Kyoujuro.
Kyoujuro’s normally gentle eyes started to narrow and you could see he was on the verge of saying something he would regret. Luckily, the tactically minded Tengen, being the older one here, took reign of the situation and said
‘Hey guys, let’s not bicker, we are all consenting adults here. I think we should get to it before your nagging puts y/n off’
he looked at you and when he was sure they could not see his eyes, he rolled his eyes in a conspiratory gesture toward you, something that made you smile through pressed lips and nod your head to him lightly. You were getting very used to his charming demeanour.
‘Ok, ok. We can get started. Btw, are you ok with taking it up your ass y/n? No offence, but there are three of us here’
Sanemi noted, but got quickly interrupted by Tengen
‘Nemi, seriously, It is up to y/n, however, she has not prepped herself. So no, I can answer on her behalf that that is off-limits tonight. Y/n, do you agree?’
‘Yes, totally.’
Sanemi sighed deeply, almost as if in disappointment. So, he was into anal, hey? You learned something new tonight.
Sanemi was the first to walk up to you, his erect heavy cock bobbing with every step. He knelt down beside you and started massaging your breasts and enclosed his lips on one of your nipples. You started moaning, his massage of your boobs getting more intense and his tongue flicking your nipple faster now.
‘You know, I might just fuck your tits then, since you won’t put up back there’ he said with a grin.
With that, he straddled your torso and positioned his hard dick between your breasts.
‘Now, sweetheart, squeeze them together for me so I can fuck them’
You did as he asked and soon his dick was sliding back and forth between your tits, his leaking tip coming close to your chin with every move forward. In the meantime, you could feel a large finger spread your labia again, Tengen was getting ready to fuck your pussy. You were so wet now, that he did not need any more prep, but instead, you started to feel that enormous dick of his being slowly pushed into you again. He felt so fucking good and his movements were just perfect. You completely understood how the guy could satisfy three women. Kyoujuro was the last to join, standing next to your face, the blonde was pumping his thick cock next to your mouth, and looking at you with those hungry amber eyes you were so used to. You opened your mouth eagerly and he slowly pressed himself past your lips, your tongue snaking on the incoming length. His hand stroking your hair gently.
‘Fuck, Kyo, she is such a slut, taking us so good. I could though sense her being on the wild side the first time we met, she was too hot to be tame’
Sanemi spoke through gritted teeth, his little dirty monologue stopped by Tengen who flicked his finger at the back of Sanemi’s head.
‘Shut it, Nemi. Just enjoy yourself, will you? But, hey Kyo. Y/n is lovely and if she does not mind, I would love to have an encore of our evening’
He spoke with quite a strained voice now, being engulfed in his own pleasure. Right now, it was only Tengen and Sanemi who were making you weak with pleasure, Tengen’s cock hitting all the right spots with every slow thrust and Sanemi pinching and rolling your nipples with his calloused fingers. You were eliciting muffled moans onto Kyoujuro’s cock, but to be honest, you were not sucking him with much enthusiasm, being so engulfed in what the two white-haired hotties were doing to you.
Suddenly, Kyoujuro grabbed you by the hair and yanked your head backward. The look in his eyes was wild and fierce and he hissed through his teeth:
‘You are neglecting your wifely duties, my dear. I think I must show you how to behave properly.’
With that, he shoved his full length into your mouth making you gag. This really took you by surprise, almost so you did not recognise your so otherwise playful and gentle lover. You looked at him pleadingly, but he did not seem to care, continuing to thrust into you while holding your hair tight. You were completely at the three men’s mercy, taking whatever they were giving to you, and thanks to Tengen you were receiving a lot. The pressure in your belly was increasing and you were now edging. You tapped Sanemi on the arm
‘squeeze the other nipple too, please Nemi’
He smirked and granted your wish. The action of his rough hands on your hard buds was what was needed to push you over the edge and you climaxed, your scream only muffled by Kyojuro’s cock inside your mouth. The spasming of your pussy was now too much for Tengen as well, and soon enough your clenching muscles milked him hard and you felt the warmth of his cum inside you. When he pulled out, you felt so empty, you pulled away from Kyojuro’s cock and tried to look around Sanemi to send your plea to Tengen, but right then it was Sanemi’s turn to orgasm and you were met with thick ropes of semen spraying your face and landing in your open mouth.
Kyojuro was now really annoyed, once again having your attention stolen like this. He shifted his position so that he was facing you just behind the top of your head where you were lying down and then hovered himself over you, with his hips over your face and his face toward your belly. His heavy dick now hanging down in your face, he tilted your head slightly backward and pushed himself in your mouth with the intention to mouth fuck you properly. He was fast and rough, almost choking you. His grunts were hoarse and deep. This was not the most comfortable fucking you experienced, to be honest, and you were surprised by his sudden roughness.
Luckily for you, Tengen dove between your legs and started teasing your now overstimulated clit. His licks and massage were just as good as the first time he made you come. You were slowly adjusting to Kyojuro’s actions and focused solely on enjoying what Tengen was doing to you, him now flicking your clit faster and faster until you dissolved in another orgasm, squirting all over his handsome face. He smiled and lapped up as much as he could of your juices. The sight of all this must have finally been too much for Kyo, who now actioned a sloppy thrust and emptied his balls deep into your throat.
His load must have been huge as when he pulled out a fair bit leaked out onto your cheek. You were too fucked out to even notice that your face and neck were literally smeared with cum. You just laid there in bliss. Sanemi and Kyoujuro were both also lying on their backs in the large bed, panting. Tengen though was too considerate to leave you hanging. He walked up to you and lifted you up in his arms.
‘You look like you need a shower’ and carried you to the bathroom.
‘Can you stand up?’
Surprisingly, you could.
‘Good. I am glad to see that you can.’
He turned on the shower and when he deemed the temperature to be just right, he led you in there and embraced you, whispering into your ear
‘Just so you know, I really, really want to see more of you like this. I mean it’
You looked into his enchanting eyes and felt like this would be a lovely arrangement.
After you showered you joined the group in the onsen and all of you enjoyed the rest of the night with champagne and conversation flowing freely.
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