#and yeah the reason its such a tl;dr is due to the fact that it has to do with the movement of merkingdom politics

[rxttenfish]

unfortunately i don't have any newer art than this and i'm probably not going to get any valentine's day artwork done in time, but! due to lore things (that i should write about sometime), valentine's day is the miravi anniversary :>

[heloflor]

Ok so last week I saw the videos/screenshots talking about fop Peri which got me a bit curious about this show, and after seeing “Battle of the Dimmsonian” and especially the Cosmo-Wanda-Peri part of “Lost in Fairy World” (there’s someone on Tumblr posting clips of all the Peri-centric moments since his debut), I was genuinely impressed with how the characters were written and I wanted to gush about them! On top of doing some overanalysis of those characters. Btw I also saw some clips from “Operation: Birthday Takeback” (again the Cosmo-Wanda-Peri side of it).

So here’s a post talking about Cosmo and Wanda’s relationship with Peri, Peri in general, Peri with Dev and a few other random thoughts about the early episodes given this made me start to watch the show (ended up making it its own post), though I haven’t gone far yet (I’m on like episode 5-6, which is episode 4a or something). On that note, take what I say in this post with a HUGE grain of salt since I don’t have the full context for Dev’s character arc.

Tl;Dr: The Fairywinkle-Cosmas are adorable, loving but also realistic in their portrayal.

Peri is the definition of “20 years-old who recently left his parents’ home” and I love him for it.

Dev and Peri are a terrible match due to Peri’s inexperience, Dev not taking him seriously, and Dev’s daddy issues making it hard for him to connect with a fairy who has loving parents.

(Btw on top of the characters moments, what made me start to watch the show is also the fact it’s apparently incredibly wholesome and fun + apparently the writers of “Infi//nity Train” worked on it (and if that’s true it’s crazy how nobody is talking about it to bring in new fans; I mean remember when the Duck//tales reboot came out and everyone pointed out how the writers of Gra//vity Falls worked on it? We should do the same thing here, at least again if it’s true) + Hartman isn’t involved and it’s hilarious how the creator of those characters not getting involved is a good thing)

Oh and spoilers for “Battle of the Dimmsonian”, “Lost in Fairy World” and “Operation: Birthday Takeback”! (4.6k Words below)

--

Ok so “Lost In Fairy World” and why I love its characters’ writing so much. I’m actually going to start by the lesson at the end and build from there as it seems like the best way to get a train of thought going.

So the lesson of the episode for me was basically a “new hire vs experienced employees” with a second layer added due to the three fairies being family, and that’s already something I really appreciate!

By the end of the episode, Cosmo and Wanda learn that they need to back off and let Peri do his thing. He’s an adult, he got hired for a reason, let him do his own trial and error and learn his own way. But at the same time, Peri shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help or advice if he needs it, the more experienced people are here for that! And again, there’s the family layer to that discussion that I really like, with Cosmo and Wanda being particularly clingy bc Peri is their son, while Peri is particularly embarrassed to ask them for help because they’re his parents, probably not helped by the fact he likely very recently left their home and seeks his independence.

And that’s another thing I absolutely love after watching this episode and “Battle of the Dimmsonian”, with “Operation: Birthday Takeback” adding to it as well: Honestly, Peri has to be one of the most realistic depictions of “20-something who just left his parents’ house” I’ve ever seen (yeah I don’t watch much stuff outside of cartoons, working on that). They somehow managed to make him very clearly be an adult with adult responsibilities, all the while giving him a level of inexperience and immaturity that reminds you he’s still young.

Giving some examples, the way he talks in general makes it obvious he’s an adult, and when introducing himself to Dev + telling him he can’t visit Fairy World in “Lost in Fairy World”, he has that suave put-together personality to himself. But at the same time this suave personality crumbles the second Dev opens him mouth.

And on top of that, Peri’s one day into his job and his already exhausted, spends the entirety of his debut episode worrying about what his parents will think of his career choice, and in stressful situations tends to turn towards others for help very quickly (reading Da Rules, low-key panicking a bit and looking at his parents in “Lost in Fairy World”, hiding when facing Vicky, moments like those).

There are also those moments where he either acts or sounds childish (with his voice even getting a bit higher), like when Wanda asks if he has a godkid plus him hiding behind his wand right before that, and earlier on when he didn’t want them to see him, the “my wand is missing” line and tracker line in “Lost in Fairy World” (the “sowwy” when telling them his tracker is off tho), the ending of this episode as well when he apologizes to them, also when his parents tell Jorgen that Peri did nothing wrong and he lets them take the fall, or that moment in “Operation: Birthday Takeback” when he goes “moooom” with a whine.

That’s actually something I absolutely love about those interactions, and why I find them realistic. It could have been SO easy for the writers to make Peri act like an adult all the time while his parents are the coddling cringy kind that make him look like a kid. But instead, it comes from both sides. You can clearly tell from how Cosmo and Wanda act that he’s their baby boy, but you can also see from Peri’s dialogues and actions that they are his parents. And I am so happy they took this direction!

So yeah, Peri is the most “young adult who just left the nest” ever and I absolutely adore this characterization. He’s an adult with a job and responsibilities, but he’s still young and can find himself relying on his parents or talking to them in a childish way. Such good character work!

Another thing I love about their dynamic that we see very well in “Lost in Fairy World” is just how much those three love each other. That’s something I did hear about this show, that it was a lot more fun and sweet (compared to the og which could be very cruel and cynical when it wanted), and you can really see it with those three.

With Cosmo and Wanda taking over Peri’s job, you can tell they’re not doing it out of any malice or feeling that Peri can’t do it. Heck if you pause at the scene where Peri tells Dev he can’t go to Fairy World, after he’s done talking and right before Cosmo takes another picture, you can see Cosmo and Wanda looking at Peri with the biggest smile (and it’s adorable!). And it’s the same with the rest of the episode. If anything, they’re so used to taking care of godkids that they just do it out of habit, without realizing they’re causing an issue.

Heck I’d even theorize that their behavior is partly due to their time with Timmy, hence it being a force of habit. For a long time (possibly 50 years if that one secret wish is canon), Poof/Peri was with his parents helping with Timmy, but he wouldn’t do much besides granting wishes. Poof couldn’t talk, so most of the time he’d just stand there while his parents did all of the talking. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of this was the reason why Cosmo and Wanda are straight up talking over Peri in “Lost in Fairy World”, they just got used to do so when taking care of Timmy and are now getting back into this habit.

On top of that, Cosmo and Wanda are just excited to finally be with their son again after their 10 thousand years-long vacation. Plus, when Peri does call them out, by the end of it they acknowledge their mistake and apologize, promising to back off. And while they remain cuddly towards him, from the looks of it they did stop coming in-between Peri and Dev, letting their son do his thing.

Also worth noting that, despite doting on Peri, they still very much talk to him like they would talk to an adult. Yes they hug him a lot (and I mean a lot) and call him pet names, and they were definitely excited to see him again in “Lost in Fairy World”, but other than that they clearly respect him as an adult, listening to him and trusting him. I’m not going to list examples because it’s basically every dialogue in which they don’t “baby” him. That being said I feel like “Operation: Birthday Takeback” displays it the best from what I’ve seen of it.

As for Peri’s side on this, he’s annoyed by his parents stepping in but it’s obvious he doesn’t hate them at all, quite the opposite. He just wants them to take him seriously as an adult, which is understandable. Also the fact he isn’t afraid to call them out is a very good sign. On that note, I love how when telling them his tracker is off, he actually apologizes (though he doesn’t have to, his reasoning for turning it off is understandable, and I appreciate he tells them those reasons!).

Also I live for that scene at the beginning of “Operation: Birthday Takeback” when his parents ask for a tour of the house (btw love Wanda telling him they’re ready to get him out of there if needed), they show interest in his suggestion, which makes Peri smile sheepishly. It’s such a cute moment and to me really shows Peri wanting to be seen as an adult and enjoying being seen that way by them, but also how he’s clearly attached to them! Idk it’s just a very cute moment! I love those three!

Also kind of a last minute addition before moving to Peri and Dev but looking at “Operation: Birthday Takeback”, I can’t help but laugh at how at the very beginning, the second the godkids are doing their own thing, Cosmo and Wanda throw themselves at their son. It’s very sweet. Also I love the implication that they’re here bc they’re Hazel’s godparents and need to stay with her, but also they really wanted any excuse to see their son!

And the reason why I say last minute addition is because this made me realize that Cosmo and Wanda do act pretty differently towards the godkids compared to Peri, which I find to be an interesting detail that makes their characters more complex in a way. Like yes, Cosmo and Wanda are very parental types, but to an extent you can see a line between them being with their godkids, who they are here to mentor and steer in the right direction for a few months until the kid is happy, and them being with their son, who they raised from infancy and isn’t going anywhere.

Now that’s not to say that Cosmo and Wanda don’t love their godkids, it’s obvious how much they adore those kids and care for them and probably remember each and every single one of them, but yeah you can still see a bit of a difference. At the very least, from what I’ve seen so far they can’t help but hug Peri literally everytime they have an excuse to do so, while having a bit more boundaries with Hazel.

But again, that’s a last minute thought and I’ve only seen a handful of episodes, so I might be wrong on that. Take it with a grain of salt. Still, I find it interesting to have those characters who are basically social workers and how there’s a bit of a difference between the kids they take care of for their “job” and the kid they have in their personal life. Again, that’s not to say they aren’t attached to the godkids, they are.

But yeah, all of this to say, the way the Fairywinkle-Cosma family is written in “Lost in Fairy World” honestly blew me away and really got me invested into watching this show, with “Battle of the Dimmsonian” and “Operation: Birthday Takeback” only adding to it (and I’m probably looking way too much into this and making it sound like the writing of this episode is much deeper than it actually is; I’m obsessed with this disaster (affectionate) of a family, help).

As for the part about Peri and Dev, basically there’s an element of Cosmo and Wanda talking over Peri in “Lost in Fairy World” that I wanted to explore, but then “Operation: Birthday Takeback” came out and there’s that moment in the “breakup” scene where Dev talks about his father not noticing his fairy while Peri is being hugged by his parents in the background. And while this is a visual gag, Cosmo and Wanda’s action in this scene actually fits very well thematically and made me realize something about how Dev might feel about Peri.

So now you’re getting a whole section about how Dev and Peri are a terrible match for each other, due to three main reasons:

1. The one everyone already talked about, Peri is severly underqualified. While you could say he’s been a godparent since he was a baby, back then all he did was grant wishes while his parents dealt with the talking + emotional support. Not only was he doing a small part of the job, he also had his parents, other more qualified fairies, helping him. Also the scene with Vicky tells us that Peri doesn’t have the best memories of his time as a baby, which is fair enough.

(note that I believe he was 7-8 years old when he had to say goodbye to Timmy, so he does remember him. As for Vicky, Timmy’s parents likely stopped hiring her once their son was 13-14, hence why Peri only has blurry memories of her, he would’ve been a toddler at best by then)

So yeah, Dev is Peri’s first kid, and Peri is not qualified for him. He loses his patience with the cupcakes, bites back when Dev is short and snappy with him (the classroom scene at the end of the “under//tale” episode, yeah I haven’t watched this one outside of this scene; and the beginning of “Operation: Birthday Takeback” with the flying shoes) and don’t get me started on Peri telling Dev in “Battle of the Dimmsonian” to give the staff back because “what will my parents say if my first godkid dies on me!”

Like PERI??? MAYBE DON’T SAY TO THE KID WITH ABANDONMENT ISSUES THAT YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT HIS WELLBEING BECAUSE YOU WANT TO IMPRESS YOUR PARENTS??? JUST A THOUGHT???

(note that I do believe Peri cares for Dev, it’s just that what he says here really comes off as him not caring, and since Dev is the one hearing what Peri says in that scene...)

Also obviously there’s the ending of “Operation: Birthday Takeback”. Tbh I don’t blame Peri much for this one since, again, he’s severely underqualified, but yeah his response to Dev’s wish was not the right one, which is reflected by Dev reacting with a frustrated scream which honestly made me feel bad for this kid. Peri going “as you wish” is just too distant and “professional”. That’s a kid in a vulnerable state! He needed comfort! Sure Peri had to go because Dev literally wished for it, but a more qualified fairy would have known what to say, if only something along the lines of “take all the time you need, I’ll be there for you once you feel better”.

So yeah, Dev is deeply hurting and a complete newbie who doesn’t have the patience or positivity for it was not going to make things better.

2. What I originally wanted to say about “Lost in Fairy World” before 3. showed its head: I think Cosmo and Wanda being around inadvertently makes things worse for the duo.

Thing is, Dev is a difficult kid. Because of that, I think that in order for him to open up to his fairy, said fairy needs to earn his respect so to speak. And not to say Dev’s fairy should be full on authoritative, but yeah they definitely need to be someone Dev respects and listens to, which is not the case for Peri. And I think the main reason why has to do with Peri’s relationship with his parents.

Basically, kids are smarter than we give them credit for and are observant as well. And what did Dev see his fairy do? Spend the first day on the job being terrified of meeting his parents who turned out to be incredibly sweet people. Then in “Lost in Fairy World” it honestly looks like Peri, Cosmo and Wanda just wanted to catch up and brought the kids for the heck of it, and Dev gets to see his fairy being babied by his parents, along with said parents talking over him. Then as said before there’s also Peri going “mooom” in front of Dev in “Operation: Birthday Takeback”.

And about “Lost in Fairy World”, there’s that moment in the beginning where Cosmo and Wanda tell Dev he can’t go to fairy world, only for Peri to step in and basically repeat the exact same thing as his parents (the “trial” part from Cosmo and “I can’t let you go” from Wanda). And while this line is a joke, I do think it’s important for Peri to put his foot down like that.

Because yeah, Peri is the one Dev should be listening to. It’s not just a question of “this is Peri’s job”, it’s also about Dev seeing Peri as an adult. But with Cosmo and Wanda, it’s a bit more complicated.

This is also another element I really like about this episode, Peri needing to be the one doing the talking so that Dev can take him seriously as a potential guardian.

But yeah, the thing is, it’s not working. Peri’s immaturity shines with his lack of patience for the kid, which Dev picks up on, leading the two of them to get snappy with each other on “even ground” in a way, which doesn’t help Peri’s case. And on top of that you have Cosmo and Wanda, who even with their eccentric side remain mature adults (and I love how them being eccentric doesn’t make them seem any less adult; love adults being allowed to have fun and be themselves without being shamed or called childish for it!).

Now as far as I’m aware the show never really talks about this, but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Cosmo and Wanda being around played a role in Dev’s perception of Peri. Not only because of them being mushy parents as previously discussed, but also because they are clearly older and more experienced than Peri, making it harder for Dev to take Peri seriously. Hopefully this makes sense?

And speaking of Dev with Cosmo and Wanda, I actually get the feeling he somewhat respects them? At least more than Peri? And on that note, there’s that scene at the very beginning of “Operation: Birthday Takeback” that I find both adorable but also pretty depressing when it comes to Dev.

When Cosmo, Wanda and Hazel show up, they ask if Dev’s dad is here, to which he mentions “Project H”. And at that Cosmo makes a comment about this project being a big surprise party, and yeah this moments gets me.

Because for a second there, Dev actually smiles. He knows that what his dad is doing has nothing to do with the party, he says so himself in response to Cosmo, but he still smiles, because he understands that Cosmo is trying to cheer him up and appreciates the effort. Idk this gets me, especially also seeing the way Wanda and Peri are looking wary as Cosmo keeps talking, clearly unsure of how Dev will react.

Like am I making a big deal out of a ten seconds moment? Probably. But there’s just something about this sad kid closing himself off whenever his problems are brought up, acting like an entitled brat most of the time as a coping mechanism, yet when this random adult he vaguely knows tries to cheer him up, he’s able to understand it and appreciate it. Idk, again, it just gets me. And sadly it really shows how bad of a match Peri and Dev are. Peri hasn’t been able to get any sort of progress with this kid, but the second his dad shows up and talks a bit suddenly the kid is giving a sincere smile. Yeah…

Now granted in regards to Dev respecting Cosmo and Wanda more, it might also have to do with them not being his godparents, considering Dev is basically using Peri as some sort of servant at times since he’s a spoiled brat and all.

Finally for this part, I want to bring up that scene in the secret lair with Vicky showing up, because to me this is a very good example of Peri actually failing Dev, which in this case will make the kid not take him seriously (on top of not earning his trust and being frustrated with him).

Now I will say, I can’t blame Peri for panicking the way he does upon seeing Vicky (btw I forgot to mention it earlier but the way he goes “lalala” and continues while turning into a drone and looking at the banging door in horror is so real. Again Peri is peak young adult energy). He’s had to deal with that woman since he was a literal infant, of course he’s going to be traumatized!

Still, Dev doesn’t know that. All he knows is that there’s this scary lady his and Hazel’s fairies know about, but he has no idea what history is between them outside of “she was terrible to our previous kid and scares us”. Also he’s 10 and has a bad home-life making him selfish, I don’t think he can fully understand the adults around him being traumatized.

But yeah, all this to say, in this scene, Peri is completely paralyzed, hiding behind the others waiting for Vicky to leave, letting his parents do the talking. And yep, we yet again go back to Cosmo and Wanda being the mature adults around here. Also worth noting that once Vicky puts on the nice act, Hazel stops being afraid of her but Dev still looks intimidated!

In that moment, Peri should have been there to protect Dev. That’s his job as a godfairy. His kid was scared and in potential danger. Yet Peri did absolutely nothing. Instead he stayed hidden, technically behind his kid which means using Dev as cover, and who came to both his and Dev’s rescue? Cosmo and Wanda, the other two fairies in the room, who are clearly more mature and are Peri’s parents.

And again, I don’t blame Peri for being paralyzed in fear like that, but how do you explain that to Dev? How do you tell that kid that he’s braver than his adult magical all-powerful fairy? That while he had to stand and somewhat confront Vicky, that adult fairy that’s supposed to protect him went hiding behind mommy and daddy? Hell from what I’ve seen, earlier in the episode the kids do stand up to Vicky, which makes Peri’s actions worse!

So yeah, hopefully this whole part makes sense as it feels a bit like a mess. The main takeaway here is that Dev needs a fairy that he can see as an almost parental figure, someone he clearly views as an adult and respects as such, that way he can have someone he can trust and be comfortable with, easing him into breaking down his walls. But Peri isn’t any of that. He’s a young adult which makes him still quite immature, and on top of that his parents basically live next door, thus leading Dev to see his fairy getting treated like a kid. It just can’t work out between them as long as they stay like that.

3. Finally, the part related to that moment of Dev talking about his dad while looking at the fairies: Dev has some serious daddy issues related to his father never paying attention to him on account of being a piece of shit who only cares about himself. And the thing is, Dev doesn’t have anyone he can relate to on that front (saying this since it’s hard for him to open up, so having someone with similar issues could be a bit of a push for him).

Hazel has caring parents whose main issue is being busy, on top of her fairies who clearly love her and spend a lot of time taking care of her. Now I haven’t seen much of the school kids but also Dev isn’t exactly close to any of them apparently? Meaning that in any case he can’t relate to them.

Then there’s this fairy that shows up, meant to cater to him but also help him emotionally, and wouldn’t you know this guy talks about wanting to impress his parents and being afraid of them! No but seriously, thinking about it, I can’t help but wonder if for a moment Dev thought he and Peri could bond over family issues, at least subconsciously. But nope! As soon as Peri reunites with his folks, turns out they’re the sweetest most loving parents ever.

I’m actually surprised that from the looks of it the show doesn’t draw a parallel between Dev and Peri on that front. I mean you have a kid with an incredibly absent parent who wants nothing more than to get his dad’s attention, being taken care of by a fairy who finds his parents’ attention suffocating and just wants them to leave him alone. There’s interesting storytelling potential here, especially when taking into account how much those two struggle to get along (basically Peri’s family situation making Dev feel worse in a way due to his confusion as to why Peri puts a bit of distance between himself and his parents)

Which loops back to that scene at the end of “Operation: Birthday Takeback” with Peri getting hugged by his parents while Dev is opening up about his daddy issues and how this visual gag fits the theme of the scene. Dev is feeling like shit about his father not loving him meanwhile the fairy that’s supposed to take care of him is being cuddled by his incredibly loving parents who adore him.

On that note, there’s an element I haven’t touched on in this episode, and it’s the fact that Hazel and Dev were in trouble with Vicky but didn’t have their fairies to protect them due to the trio visiting the house. While this scene is another example of Peri failing Dev, what I find most interesting about it is the fact that Peri “abandoned” Dev to spend time with his parents. Idk, I can’t help but think that this detail twists the knife even further for Dev. Not only was his fairy not here to protect him, but his absence is due to him hanging out with his parents who love him and wanted to spend time with him.

Speaking of which, I wonder if Dev is also angry at the fact that Cosmo and Wanda are able to take care of Hazel and be there for her whenever she needs while still finding the time to hang out with their son and be involved in his life. In a way it’s further proof that Dale is an atrocious parent, at least when taking into account Dev’s pov since I doubt a kid his age spends a lot of time hanging out with other parents, so Cosmo and Wanda are basically the only couple he can compare his father to. Basically I could see Dev noticing how much Cosmo and Wanda do and it making him feel even worse about why his dad doesn’t love him the same.

But yeah all this to say, just like everyone else in his life, Peri can’t understand Dev’s issues with his father, issues that are the core reason why he has a fairy in the first place. On top of that, Peri not only has the one thing Dev wants, but the kid sees him push it away on numerous occasions.

And that’s the end of what I wanted to say here. Hopefully this isn’t too much of a mess since I’m writing this while sick + sleep-deprived due to illness + haven’t watched much of the show past a few episodes and the clips on Tumblr.

On that note, yet again please take this post with a grain of salt, especially the Dev-Peri part. I originally just planned on gushing about “Lost in Fairy World” and how much I love the Fairywinkle-Cosma in it, but seeing the ending of “Operation: Birthday Takeback” made me want to talk a little more about Dev. That being said given how little I’ve watched there’s probably a lot I’m missing about this kid, so by no means do I think this analysis is perfect (also, the fact I’m writing this while ill…). Now Dev does seem to be a “predictable” character, hence why I feel somewhat comfortable writing this despite seeing so little, but again I might be wrong.

(Btw when I say Dev is predictable I’m in no way saying it negatively, quite the opposite! I love that him getting a fairy low-key made him worse, and I’m very curious as to how they’re going to resolve him spiraling the way he’s currently doing.)

In any case, thanks for reading!

[lucabyte]

ppl saying they look to my comics for inspiration and pointers on how to format things is WILDDDD to me (and delightful don't get me wrong!! i am overjoyed) because like. none of you are privvy to the absolute WAHHH I DONT WANNNAAA bitchfits i was *CONSISTANTLY* throwing every time i forced myself to make a comic before i got into isat. like no joke. i considered comics such a fucking difficult medium they always drained my drawing energy so hard because they always felt like they took sooo long and had so many moving parts and were so much harder than storyboards (WHICH I ALREADY STRUGGLED WITH) because you had to account for panel shape and speech bubbles and-- like you get it. but genuinely for real. the sheer amount that i complained whenever i clawed my way through drawing a comic (which thus! was not very fucking much!!) compounded by the fact that i *genuinely have trouble reading comics*. as in, i really struggle to parse the flow of contiguous movement or action between panels (possibly connected to the fact ive got mad aphantasia?) of even really well done best-of-the-best professional comics...

... BUT. basically. what im trying to get at is. if you wanna learn to draw comics, evidently you super can?! I genuinely *didnt* draw comics before drawing isat fanart! I have no idea what it was about ISAT fanart that made it finally click for me? (I think it was... not having to think about colour? Removing a step from the process really helped. Plus, it being fanwork meant I could just start en-medias-res and not have to think about setup... Trying to cram too much explanation and setup into my oc stuff was always a big hurdle too...)

I find them fast to do now! and damn if i dont value speed in art (<- impatient little fucker). its still going slowly on my oc comics.. mostly due to the colour again, i think. but it's not extremely, ecruciatingly difficult anymore. is what im saying. and im genuinely baffled by it every time i put pen to page. its fucked up. did you guys know that practice makes things easier? . fucking perverted if you ask me.

As for looking at other people's things for inspiration. if you want to know where I was looking when I was piecing together the first couple fancomics I did for ISAT i want to specifically point at . well besides everything rebecca sugar has ever done (for hands and facial expressions *especially*), the main person i really dug into the work of was Leo Fox (Website link). I feel like i wanna point people to the source of a lot of the inspiration for my more off-kilter panel choices so you all can get the full experience rather than through my regurgitated mimesis. I'm now at the point where i can wing panel layout so i wasn't in there for longgg but. everyone go add it to your knowledge banks as for SUBJECT MATTER aka why i am i so deranged. those are squarely the 2019 postcanon homestuck golden era bleeding through my CLENCHED BITTEN DOWN JAW. A BULL TERRIER ON YOUR BRACHIAL ARTERY. namely that @/floralmarsupial and @/tomatograter's works (no i am not tagging them . im shy) are things i go back to frequently and floralmarsupials pure black/white inktober comics were *especially* an inspiration. if you've been following me a few months you may remember me reblogging a bunch of their stuff from 2019~2021 for seemingly no reason. this was why. The narratively divorced reality of jade strider & Liminal Space are big in my mind here. I balk to call myself anywhere near as good as these but these are what i'm aiming for, tonally and quality-ways with it. also detective pony but ive mentioned that already and thats farrrr too inside baseball for this post.

BUT YEAH TL;DR: I DIDNT DRAW LIKE ANY COMICS UNTIL UHHHH LIKE, WHAT, LIKE 8 MONTHS AGO? JESUS. ANYWAY. THIS MEANS YOU 🫵🫵🫵 CAN DO IT TOO. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. DATTEBAYO!!!!

[kivaember]

Do you think Walter ever recieved augmentation surgery? Also, given how he sees it as part of the "carnival of horrors" his father created, do you think that he would've been against Michigan getting it?

(It's never directly stated, but I'd assume Michigan is augmented because he ranks directly behind Freud in the arena, so it would kind of make Freud less of an anomaly for being so good despite never recieving the surgery.)

okay i went on a long ramble by accident so cut it is!

In APV, Walter and Michigan are baseline humans! In fact, Michigan briefly considered getting augmentations when the "safer" Gen Seven augmentations came out after ironing out all the fatal flaws in the previous two generations, but Walter went on an anti-augmentation screed so intense that Michigan was just like "whoa fuck okay fine I won't get them."

(Later, Michigan was genuinely grateful Walter talked him out of it, because he realised that the augmentations didn't really give much benefits to a pilot's capability. Yeah, it gave them faster reflexes and better synergy with their AC, but that didn't trump good old experience and skill, which Michigan has in bucketloads. He found a lot of vindictive delight in trashing Arquebus pilots who had the most "modern" augmentations when he remained as a baseline human).

but as for a serious answer/ramble: AC6 is pretty upfront with who has augmentations in their arena profiles, so really it's just up to personal headcanons for those where it's not explicitly said (Michigan, Flatwell, etc). But usually I assume that if the arena profile doesn't say anything about augmentations, I consider them a baseline human... unless they're Flatwell and I augmented him for plot reasons in apv dhdshdf

like, it's my personal hc that late Gen augmentations are overhyped, likely due to aggressive corporate marketing to conceal how the late Gens are inferior to the Coral-augmentations. The hint to this was with Swinburne's arena profile, where it stated that the Gen Sevens didn't give the "usual" drawbacks to its user... but also gave negligible benefits ("This granted him enhanced aptitude as a pilot without the usual complications—but with no obvious indication of either efficacy or potential side effects, Swinburne's fears and doubts turned into an overpowering paranoia.") - and also V.VIII Pater's low ranking in the Arena.

Pater's a Gen Ten, the most modern augmentation that's commonly practiced by AC6 time, and Pater is... a painfully average pilot amongst the other named characters. He's sits at 16/C, where Chatty, Carla and Honest Brute rank higher than him, and they're not career mercenaries. In fact, quite a lot of augmented humans rank low in the arena comparatively to other pilots who don't have augmentations - Thumb Dolmayan doesn't have them, even, he's just a Doser who gained enlightenment by huffing so much Coral he accidentally made Contact, and he's 4/A.

tl;dr Freud is probably a notable figure for being a baseline human in the Vespers, because Walter introduced the Vespers as Arquebus's "in-house augmented human AC squad". The fact that V.I is a baseline human probably throws people for a loop, since the group is commonly known as a group of augmented humans - no doubt to showcase Arquebus's augmentations.

The corporations probably do a lot of barking about how augmentations make the AC pilot, because it's a marketing thing. But when you step outside of the neat lines of corporate warfare, it becomes more apparent that augmentations mean nothing if you don't have the experience or skill to back it up. A Gen Ten pilot used to conducting harassing operations against poorly armed union workers would find themselves floundering against n independent mercenary who's a baseline human that's cut their teeth against various opponents across the galaxy.

Oh hm this turned into a pretty big ramble but... this topic interests me, tbh! It's fun to think that the corporations make a big thing about their super special augmented humans, but it turns out that unless you put in the effort to properly train them or give them experience, they don't measure up against an ex-Doser running around in a souped up BASHO. The fact that people commonly think that augmented humans are superior pilots is because it's a shortcut to a boost in capability, and because the corporations are aggressive in their marketing and publishing successful results to ensure there's a demand for it.

anyway i hope all that rambling made sense sdhffh im very sleepy right now...

[cheap-jumpscare]

ranting abt being kanade yoisaki.... if ur uncomfy with doubles, scroll away !!!!!!!1

raghhhhh i need white hair and my hair needs 2 be straight n long...... sighs. i already have blue eyes n im already extremely pale so thumbs up but ugh. i shld be skinnier too and that is related :|

i cant tell if im fickin or not but i rlly do wish i looked like. me? ive even always ACTED like me. im just. Kanade Yoisaki. this is the one "just like me fr.." character that's been CONSISTENT.

i was watching a video essay my meowtual Vriska made and SIGHS yeah. its >here< btw pls watch it. very good art and a very cool survey !!

^ but in relation to that I had a mini realization sorta. if i am a kanade fictionkin then i AM just Kanade. there would be no seperation between me and Kanade Yoisaki. if i AM fictionkind then I wouldn't be a "kanade kinnie" id BE kanade. just like how Vriska's whole video is about how fickind tend to suppress their identity to be more palatable. its just so hard to figure out if i AM fickindddd :|

and even then i dont feel like id be exactly like 'canon' me. id be different. id have several traits and such that i always have said I 'headcanon' Kanade with. maybe thats just me bein a bit Sillymode but urghfghg.

im just like i am in the game. i dont go outside regularly because the sun hurts my eyes, bright lights in general suck (though this may just be because my eyes are a lighter color- qwant it its weird), im very serious about music and i do believe it CAN save people, im not very good at personal hygiene and yet inexplicably im considered ~generally~ attractive by, at the very least, my parents. I've mentioned all that before, though. Plus preferring online school.

another thing i want to say bc i feel like it. everytime i see anyone else who's also a character i Am (ex, someone else who's Kanade) i dont ever get bothered. bc my brain rationalizes it through 'multiverse theory.' TL;DR 'doubles' dont bother me because i believe in infinite alternate realities and that if someone else is also kanade then they're just a kanade from an alternate reality. does that make sense?

i still feel a disconnect between the kanade in prosekai and myself- the kanade i am. enough to where i can refer to her in the 3rd person comfortably. im not the same as her. there's differences, I can feel them. ill just refer to Kanade in the game as 'canon!kana'/'canon!me' because that's easiest;

the biggest difference between us is that, well, canon!me is human. she also isn't explicitly trans in any direction, and is also a hard worker. all of that is stuff that doesnt apply. im trans- im queer in every sense of the word. every inch of my identity is a little weird, a little 'out of the norm.' No part of me can be easily described to a lot of people. I do know, thankfully, that people in the real world can be accepting. My Nana supports xenogenders and she's in her early 70s. Granted, I am her main source of information on neurodivergency and queer identity, but I'm able to unbiasedly explain terms and gently guide her in the right direction. I would feel safe in admitting I am not human, and do not like physically being so. I'm lazy- admittedly due to depressive symptoms, but I do not like work. I generally just hate having to do physical activity- even just in-general work. The reason I'm almost-failing all of my classes in highschool is because I hate working for more than a few minutes at a time, especially consecutively.

Of course, I will say I am not a person who really experiences delusions. That isn't to say those who do are lesser or that I'm better- it's just a simple fact. I specify that because this is the 'piss on the poor' website. I can seperate my physical body right now as I physically am from my possible fictionkinnity- at this current moment I am (at the very least biologically) not a shapeshifter like I often call myself. I am human, I am biologically a perisex female, etc. I don't like to see myself like that. I am Uta, yes. But Uta isn't a human. Uta is Kanade Yoisaki. Uta is a shapeshifter. In some way or another, I am nonhuman- or otherwise 'different.' I always have been.

idk. im just kanade. i dont properly know what i mean by it, other than. well. I Am Kanade. and that's really all there is to it.lon

[lumilasi]

Ages anon here!! I thought up of another question after looking at the info post more

You mention that Anya starts out afraid of the mechanic dude bc of the fight he has with J*mbo, how does she learn to trust him/at least be less afraid like you said? Curious about this bcs it seems Anya is the main Tulpar p.o.v you use in your comics often?

Ooof okay, so. I fully intended on drawing something for these, but this is one of those questions that'll be easier to elaborate on via text, though I think I can use stuff I've drawn already for demonstration purposes?

(Also yeah, I find Anya most interesting of the 4, so I'm likely to use her as a major P.O.V for these comic strips/kind of the "main character" for the Tulpar-related doodles and comics. Also, the reason why Anya would be especially intimidated by Stefan to those who don't know; she saw him kill Jimmy, but also he's the only 'macho' guy in the Stargazer crew, and initially comes off kind of aggressive in general, due to being badly sleep deprived and therefore grumpy at the time they meet.....)

It's going to be a result of time spend with the crew and just....sort of observing how Stefan behaves, and how his crew interacts with him, especially the women.

She comes from a company & work culture that is, well, quite sexist (one of the major points of the canonical game-story after all) so she has certain expectations towards him, that he basically doesn't end up meeting.

Things such as:

He never expresses any sort of disdain towards the fact his commander is a woman, and behaves very professionally and clearly respects Nadiya not just as the Captain, but as a person.

Doesn't belittle Mara (his intern) about her abilities as a technician, the only thing he does is reasonably scold her/advice her due to her inexperience.

Generally doesn't act inappropriate or violent, and none of the women surrounding her indicate he ever has. (that one incident with Curly where he suddenly behaved kind of threatening was an exception, and Stefan even apologizes for it, indicating he shouldn't have been there on his own due to the risk of having a "fit" like that due to his mystery sickness. The crew takes extra steps after it to make sure Stefan never ends up alone with Curly again due his own request, showing his apology is sincere.)

While he does seem to act different towards Cherry a little (being much gentler and less blunt, one could say he has the tendency to treat her like she's more fragile) when compared to the rest of the women in Stargazer, he never questions her friend's capabilities as a medical professional - or Anya's for that matter, since she ends up helping Cherry out during their trip home.

Those are some observations she makes overtime.

There's also more to the behavior he tends to display towards her, which Anya learns from Cherry is common habit from Stefan at this point; he's used to being seen as the scary one/potential threat by people with Anya's trauma, and has developed some behavioral patterns around them to help alleviate those fears - not because he actually cares if they trust him or not though. He just sees it as part of his duty as a member of the crew, to not stress their already potentially stressed patients more. It's not personal to him in any way, just part of the job.

(things like making sure she's aware of exactly what he's doing, not sneaking up on her, generally trying not to walk behind her, having someone else in the room with them as well, typically another woman, etc.)

I can actually kind of show an example of this behavior from one of the comics I made, though its pretty subtle:

Notice how Anya remarks he's sitting further away from her desk than others? This is his habitual "avoid crowding the patient" behavior. He's leaving more space between them to make her more comfortable. (you can't really see it in this comic, but my original idea also included him sitting further towards the wall, so Anya would be closer to the doorway than him)

These doodles can also serve as an example, if looked at from Anya's P.O.V, at least based on the knowledge she has at this point in this AU story:

Now they're not the best drawn (bc I was lazy) and there are some aspects the image alone won't show, namely the tone I imagined Stefan is using in both.

While he looks serious in the first one, he's speaking in a fairly gentle - if firm - tone. He's also actually crouched in front of her instead of looming over Cherry with his full height (he's easily the tallest of Stargazer crew), and Cherry in turn is not reacting badly to his proximity - just blushing bc her crush is showing sudden affection and care towards her. (and since Anya and Cherry were classmates for this AU story, Anya roughly knows how to read Cherry and therefore can tell she's not uncomfortable at all there, just pleasantly flustered)

Second one is him with his childhood bestie (and second future L.I, Stefan is polyromantic) Matt, and here Anya basically sees how he tends to behave when he's NOT grumpy due to exhaustion. He's much more relaxed and playful, and being reassuring in his own way to his friend who's likely stressing over something. Anya can tell from Matt's reaction that this is probably common behavior from Stefan, and Matt doesn't really mind it.

So yeah. TL,DR: overtime, as she observes Stefan's behavior and people's dynamics with him, Anya concludes that her first impression was thankfully incorrect, and, as I symbolically put it in that one comic I made earlier, there are no "dead pixels" on Stargazer.

Ask the crew info

[roguetelepaths]

byron + 1, 2, 5, 24,

Oh fuck yeah I was hoping someone would do this. This is going to be a massive wall of text and I'm sorry but also I'm really not. You have unleashed the infodump dragon and it's not leaving until it's run off some of its zoomies.

Why do you like or dislike this character?

You know a fun fact about me is that I was on Team Byron Disliker when I first started Season 5 just due to what I'd heard through pop culture osmosis. I even made a post to that effect after watching a couple of his episodes (deleted now because I was sick of seeing it in my notes) that got some circulation in the fandom. But the further I got into that arc and the more I thought about him, the less I saw what I expected to see when I started. Instead I saw someone who, though flawed, spent most of the time he was on screen trying to be gentle and compassionate and trying to protect his people in a situation that was hell bent on making it as hard as possible for him to do those things.

I do think he has a manipulative streak, and I do think he's the type to occasionally do very hurtful things because he believes he's doing so for the right reasons (see for example that fucking "doesn't it feel nice to be asked" scene between him and Lyta in The Paragon of Animals, even as a Lyta/Byron shipper that makes me SO ANGRY because that point could be made in LITERALLY any other way that didn't involve demeaning her and shouting at her, I get that you're pissed off at the people who did that to her but taking it out on her isn't gonna help anyone so stop) but those flaws when combined with his genuine good intentions and abundance of care are fascinating.

A big part of why I think people dislike him as a character is because those flaws are presented as an immutable Fact Of Who He Is, which, yeah, I can see why someone would find that insufferable, but I like writing character growth and he deserves some.

Tl;dr, I like him because he's complicated. I dislike the way canon never seemed to want to grapple with those complications.

Favorite canon thing about this character?

That scene with the one guy in Downbelow. You know the one. Letting someone punch you repeatedly because you want to teach them a lesson about how finding a target to beat up on isn't actually going to solve their problems is... genuinely fucking baller and I wish we'd gotten to see more of that side of him.

Also that thing with Lyta in Strange Relations that's basically a mutual "I'm not overextending myself YOU'RE overextending yourself! Please slow down and rest 🥺" is probably what made me ship them as hard as I do. Dipping out of canon and into my fic for a second, but that interaction is so different from their first interaction that I kind of have to wonder if someone talked to him about the way he treated her. (I may have written a missing scene about that but it needs some fine tuning before I feel good about posting it.)

What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

oh my god!!! so many. SO MANY. But uhhhh I can narrow it down to like four?

Runaway by The National as a general theme song

I, Carrion (Icarian) by Hozier as a soft and sad song for him and Lyta

The Deserter's Song by Radical Face as a backstory reveal song

New World Coming (any version but I like the one by Nina Simone best because. Come on. It's Nina fucking Simone how can you top that) because I'm almost certain it was one of the songs JMS pulled from when he was writing That Song For That Scene.

What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

I've been saying this from the very beginning— The Signless from Homestuck. (Yes, I'm a Homestuck enjoyer. Sorry.) I just love my pacifist resistance leaders with feral partners and tragic endings okay.

[writingsoftrash]

Alice In Mechaland Chapter One, Part One: Savior At The Eleventh Hour

An. A.I Artificial Intelligence/Gigolo Joe x OC fanfiction by sarsa Masterpost of Chapters Original A/N 03/03/2020: yeah I have absolutely 0 explanation as to why I am obsessed/fixated with this movie or why I decided to write a self indulgent fic to give Joe a happy ending. (Well I say happy but it's, not totally happy WHOOPS.) I stopped questioning myself a long time ago. If, for some reason, someone out there enjoys this. well, then. I did a good job at least. will it be finished? hell if i know. like i said, totally self indulgent fic, is it mary sue? idk i don't care i wrote what i wanted to write i've written like 9k words already, and i'm gonna split what i have up into chapters! hurray! Updated A/N 7/27/24: tl;dr, crossposting the fic to tumblr. dunno if this will gain it a wider audience or not, idk. but surprisingly this self indulgent incredibly niche fic is one of my most popular fics on AO3 so why not! It's still unfinished, (and plenty more to go.) but I hope if there's any new readers - you love it as much as I love writing it. Also, due to the chapters being as long as they are - they will have to be split up into parts. Apologies for that, Tumblr is dumb. I've tried a hundred million ways to post just the (1st) chapter in its entirety and it just. won't. so, apologies!

He was sitting in the cold, (not that he could feel it of course, being that he was made of nothing more than wires and gears,) police station, idly tapping his feet against the concrete floor whilst whistling. He knew, deep down-  as many creatures did at these pivotal moments, that his life was nearing it's end, the handcuffs on his wrists harsh reminders of the inevitable fate that befell all mecha. In the back of his mind, he only wished that perhaps... David had fulfilled his purpose, and that he had helped the young mecha in his pursuit of the Blue Fairy. 

His own purpose was about to be forever extinguished. 

So Joe, also known as Gigolo Joe to the many patrons of the lover mecha, sat there, unblinking and resigned to the fact that he now knew, no matter how much he had tried to run, it would eventually catch up to him. He had escaped it once at the Flesh Fair, but fate did not slow down for mechas. It was always inching, crawling behind them, waiting to catch them and devour those who had dared to be created by man's hand. 

The door swung open, and his pristine face swiveled to look at who was entering, who would be the one to hand down his sentence (death) without a single ounce of pity or wherewithal to question the circumstances on which he had been condemned.  "And I am telling you, to release him into my custody. He's not the murderer - the police in Haddonfield have the right man locked up and with a full confession. I don't see what's so hard about this."

If he had the capacity, the desire to blink in surprise, he would have, but instead he simply cocked his head exactly nine degrees to the right, and stared blankly at the blonde-haired woman who was arguing with the police man, and despite her diminutive size was able to keep up with the burly man's steps. "Again, if you do NOT release this man-" "You mean mecha?" "...this MAN, into my custody, immediately, you are going to be so miserable with the amount of paperwork my firm's going to bury you in," she moved to stand between the officer and Joe, crossing her arms and tapping her heeled boots impatiently, and he could smell, drifting from her, the most delicious scent- and he could name the perfume instantly - Dior, he thought after briefly going through his list of common perfumes worn by women, before his eyes moved to her blonde hair. Had he not been handcuffed to the table, he swore he would have lifted a hand up to touch it gently. "Look lady, you want to be responsible for him? Fine. You're right, he hasn't murdered anyone. But he still stole-" "You'll find that my partner has already paid for the fines, next? Or can we stop this inane back and forth, and I can leave with him? Or is it your goal to be benched and investigated for gross incompetence?" The officer scoffed, looking away - disgust apparent on both his face and in his tone, "Oh begging your pardon, miss. Sorry we didn't do our due diligence over one fuckin' mecha," he moved swiftly, clearly done with the woman, taking out a set of keys and unlocking Joe's handcuffs roughly and pulling him out of the chair before pushing him over, "Here you are, one fuckbot at your service, keep him out of trouble, you mechafucker. " The police officer offered one last laugh as he left, "I'll let YOU explain to him what happened, not my fuckin problem anymore. Weirdo..."  The woman watched as he left, nostrils flared with clear annoyance, jaw clenched, clearly attempting to stop herself from saying anything incendiary to the cop. As soon as the door shut with a SLAM, she spun on her heels to face Joe - her face that once held fury and contempt for the officer, became one filled with an apologetic look, "Sorry about that, some of these guys can be real jackasses for no reason. Um-" her hand extended out to him, a shy smile crossing her face, "My names Alice Capulet, lawyer with Capulet Law Firms here in Rouge City." Joe tilted his head, taking the offered hand and shaking it, before bringing her hand to his lips to gently kiss the top of it as he maintained eye contact with the woman, "Why?" he asked simply, no other words or questions came up- just confusion settling in his wires as he was confronted with this Alice, who had just argued for his freedom so vehemently. He watched as the telltale sign of an emotional response to his hand kiss rose to her cheeks, blood coloring the skin as she flushed, pulling her hand away and rubbing it nervously with the other.  "Why what?" "Why did you save me?" he asked, "As the police offer so crudely put it, I am just... a simple 'fuckbot' though I admit, I would have preferred my actual name, and perhaps a more suitable moniker. Lover mecha, Sex worker. I am what I am, and I hold no shame... but-" he smiled, doing a small tap with his feet, and extending his hand out to her, "I am... the best at what I do, and none can take that from me. But I am... just a mecha. So, why?" A laugh was his response, as she shook her head, offering up a small smile, "...How about I answer as we get out of this place?" she asked, moving towards the door,  "You've been released into my custody, and you don't have to come with me... you're free to return to your work, if you'd like. But, if you'd like to... recharge so to speak, I've a free room in my apartment." She beckoned him forth - this Alice - holding out her hand which he took, gently into his as she led him out of the room and back out into the free world, as a free man.  Chapter One: Part I || Part II || Part III || Part IV

Masterpost

[optiwashere]

I stopped reading Gardens of the Moon after 250~ pages because frequent character switches got confusing and I couldn't get a solid idea of the magic system. Does it ever get better?

I liked the the prologue, but I feel like they just dropped me into middle of 50 different powers scheming against each other after that. Also the coin is spinning.

TL;DR — This is a series that I love but really struggle to recommend.

Anon, it took me... ten years (?) to finish that book. I still think it's pretty terrible even having read the whole main series. So, I get where you're coming from lol.

That said, the writing quality immediately skyrockets when you hit Deadhouse Gates due to the fact that he wrote that book so many years after the first. But the books fly around a massive world and constantly switch around POVs, so...

If you don't like frequent POV switches, then you won't like the series. Flat out. There's something like 450 POV characters, but some of those brief POVs are some of the most powerful. Some of the characters are really high up in my faves of all time. Onos T'oolan, Tavore & Felisin Paran, Beak... Samar Dev??? Korlat!!! Itkovian, my beloved... there's some amazing characters mixed in with some truly awful ones.

And if you're someone that likes hard magic systems, you won't like Warrens. I don't like hard magic — when a book touts its "magic system" first, I'm immediately negatively biased towards it through no fault of the writer in 99% of cases — so it worked for me.

Pros:

Really broad worldbuilding with lots of cultural influences that aren't Western blended in with traditional Western fantasy.

Erikson has an excellent prose style later on (yeah, I know, it's very difficult to believe considering Gardens) and he has a very elegant way of expressing postmodernist ideas.

Extremely varied women characters (hell, Tattersail in Book 1 is already pretty unusual, sadly, in fantasy for being a fat character who's noted as extremely attractive — and Erikson doesn't stop at her when it comes to hot fat women, what a king.)

My favorite withdrawn, depressed, badass, ruthless lesbian commander character of all time, Tavore Paran.

Very strong messages about compassion and what it means to do "the right thing" in the face of overwhelming adversity.

Despite largely dealing with militaries and soldiers, the books are really about kindness, loss, and love, as well as finding the space within oneself to reject the notion of unconquerable despair.

Cons:

Erikson has, like, four character archetypes and they all blend together (barring a few standout characters.)

The worldbuilding is so broad that it sometimes feels pretty shallow.

Erikson loves using excessive epithets (the soldier, the ex-priest, etc.) and it's wild that those made it through professional editing.

Sometimes, Erikson likes his own prose style so much that we have to listen to identical characters internally monologue over identical woes and dramas. I love the Tiste Andii, but holy shit...

There are so many cases of plotting being hidden from the reader in transparent ways. Conversations where two people will refuse to elaborate their thoughts where they often cut off one another with inane, oblique reasons so that the reader is left in the lurch in a way that is often personally unsatisfying.

Possibly neutral or possibly a con, but there's a trillion content warnings scattered all through the books that are actually really, really serious (lots of sexual assault, and in several of those cases it's either completely unnecessary or actively detrimental to the story IMO.)

Having said all of that, I'll leave you with some quotes for why I still love the series despite its (to me) many flaws:

Open to them your hand to the shore, watch them walk into the sea. Press upon them all they need, see them yearn for all they want. Gift to them the calm pool of words, watch them draw the sword. Bless upon them the satiation of peace, see them starve for war. Grant them darkness and they will lust for light. Deliver to them death and hear them beg for life. Beget life and they will murder your kin. Be as they are and they see you different. Show wisdom and you are a fool. The shore gives way to the sea. And the sea, my friends, Does not dream of you. —Reaper's Gale

"No tyrant could thrive where every subject says no. The tyrant thrives when the first fucking fool salutes." —Toll the Hounds

Against a broken heart, even absurdity falters. Because words fall away. A dialogue of silence. That deafens. & The failure of hope has a name: it is called suffering. —The Crippled God

[myaoiboy]

So i was thinking abt your post on light symbolism in Mgsv and i was wondering if you could talk more on the meaning of the blue lighting? In Peacewalker the red=bad and yellow=good is obvious but what are the examples of blue meaning uncertainty other than in the scene of Ocelot confessing? Is it exclusive to V? i can't find the post rn but i thought it was really interesting!!

Okay so there's a lot of ways i can go about this but I'm also going to be extremely upfront and say that mgs1-4+PW are slightly harder to get good quality screenshots of, and I see fewer recordings of them so I fully admit to having a less-than-perfect memory of them.

V is also easier to pick scenes from because it does the most "WTF, where is that weird-colored lens flare even coming from?" cinematic stuff. The other games have more direct integration into scenes and even the narrative.

The most explicit case of blue as dishonesty/unreliable narrator/dramatic irony/facade cracking/whatever you want to call it, is in the MGS4 novel. I don't really know that it's canon as much as a canon-enhancer, like an art book would be. I know that Kojima has said that Itoh got the spirit of what he was going for more than anyone else, so I'm willing to abide by his interpretation of the snake family (snamily?) geneticist surrounded by blue roses:

tl;dr: the blue of the blue roses is what makes them unnatural. Beautiful, but manmade. Snake is also genetically engineered, manmade, "unnatural," and at times considers himself less than human because of it.

This is sort of the explicit culmination of something that's been going on since MGS1, where the whole map is basically this weird, unnatural, unsettling blue color.

Which, for me, even playing the shadow moses smash level when I was younger felt ~weird~ due to the color and lighting. When I got around to playing MGS, the feeling was definitely still there.

I'll even offer grey fox as an example because he and Snake are basically the same color in their concept art, and Snake's definitely blue in-game. Making him this red-and-blue, murdery-but-something's-up figure...

Was it intentional? Honestly, I don't know. I lean towards assuming it was a palette limitation for hardware/performance that happened to play nice thematically. Add in the fact that straight-up black tends to look bad graphically for the same reason that it works well in actual stealth situations and...yeah, using a lot of blue makes sense. No reason that a medium's "limitations" shouldn't be considered just as meaningful and integral as its benefits though.

Maybe the weakest example I have is in 3, where Volgin's lightning turns the whole torture room blue (or at least, as blue as it can get with that piss filer)

Everyone in this room is fucking over everyone else in this room in impossible to comprehend ways. We've walked in on 5D chess that is only about to be made clear at the end of this cutscene, but the only person in this room loyal to Volgin is Volgin.

Consider:

She feels bad for Snake. Kinda obvious I suppose, but she's also planning to triple cross him. I mean, technically at this point she's probably still planning to kill him. Either way, She's definitely planning to fuck over Volgin and either you or the Chinese Philosophers.

The Boss is being The Boss and not telling ANYONE wtf is going on, (also planning to fuck over Volgin)

And THIS WHORE is over here clutching his fucking LOCKET OF YOUR HAIR (read: the bullet he fucked up with while fighting you that he wears around his neck)

...plus he was actually supposed to be fucking over Volgin in the first place as your contact before Eva got in the way. ...which she also does at the end when she cock blocks him ANYWAYS.

Then we get this lovely little quote that I've been thinking about since playing the game. Something about this feels like it's implying that the color of his eyes are unnatural or make him seem dishonest. Ironic, given the current company.

In Peace Walker specifically it's easy to tell when colors are being used for effect, since there's only really three used in the whole game, red, blue, and gold. Blue is used a lot for grief in this game, as it it's a game that deals heavily with the topic. Like, say, in Strangelove's first cutscene, where she's challenging BB to kill her.

And a moment after that we get one of the brightest pops of blue in the game! There aren't very many of them, most of the blues are dull, like on Strangelove's glasses here. But in this scene, not only are Snake's eyes blue, he also has blue highlights on his face. It really brings the two of them together in their grief over the same woman.

Strangelove also refers to the Boss AI as "[her] morpho," the kind of butterfly that BB references in PW.

Not so coincidentally, this is *also* the kind of butterfly that appears at the end of the Paz questline, which disappears in a flash of blue light, in this sort of combined grieving-and-unreality scene that I think makes blue throughout the series so beautiful.

It's not just one thing, it's many things that are intimately woven together. I guess you could more accurately say that it's mental/emotional hurt and old wounds where red is more physical/immediate hurt?

That's not to say that every single time someone is grieving or lying or is dishonest or is something they don't appear to be that they'll be ringed in blue or anything, but rather that it's something to watch for because there's often a sort of color confirmation. Same as how the snakes don't tend to wear red even when they do a lot of killing

I'm also very much still working out the symbolism of blue in the games honestly. These are mostly my working theories but if anyone has anything else to add I'm all ears!

Sorry that this is kind of short, I had covid this week and am still kind of playing catch-up a bit but I at least wanted to get some really obvious (to me) cases out there.

[review-anon]

Random and honestly late question i suppose but i only found out you have an actual blog recently

So why did you hate sunako from asoot so damn badly? Idk if you still dislike her now but i remember a while back you were yelling about how she was a liar and untrustworthy and i recall mod bubbles even had to intefere with that

And i never understood why you hated her so much so mind elaborating on the reason? And if that option has changed since?

That's fine, this is quite new. Not the blog but people finding out about it.

My issue with Sunako was for a few reasons. Firstly, I didn't like how she kept forcing the Quantum Crew to trust the 76 Squad without question. That probably was NOT how the Mod intended for it, but it was how I read it, and that set off red flags right away because that's a big way how people could be betrayed. The other issue was since the 76 Squad were all NWPM/DTFA characters, I had no knowledge to trust. And it wasn't like Sunako was any better as prior to her future self showing up in Black and White Christmas, our last interaction was with Die Free or Live Hard has her being a massive mega brat. Granted people do mature when they get older, but again it was a case of show not tell.

It was mentioned Sunako knew Umeko beforehand but this wasn't told or explained well beforehand, which given this fuelled a lot of my mistrust, especially once Tsumugi came into the picture with her whole memory tampering thing, I started to get ideas that Sunako was either not as mature as she thinks or was a traitor trying to sow discourse in the Crew.

But if you want me to be brutally honest, it was personal experience that was why I didn't trust her. I don't have a good track record of trusting others due to how many times I've been kicked down and betrayed in the past, to the point I start to question if I keep graviting towards people who will stab me in the back. So when you tell me to trust someone without question, my mind cannot do that. And one of the things that really, and I mean really sets me off is the idea of white lies, as that has often been weaponised against me in the past.

When you hear the term white lies you often think of it being falsehoods designed for the benefit of others. When I hear the term white lies, I see it as ways to keep people decieved because they are seen too stupid or incapable of learning it on their own. Couple this with me not being in a good mental state when the truth of why Sunako did came out, and its why I exploded in The Price of Fate and Bubbles put his foot down. Which I will say he was 100% right to do so as I was completely and utterly in the wrong there.

However you may notice the fact I'm using past tense to describe my loathing for Sunako, so does that mean my opinion has changed? Well yeah. Don't get me wrong I'm not in the Sunako fan club, but the truth of why she did it, and how it seems trauma was why she acted the way she did, makes me understand because nobody acts perfect whenever trauma is involved. I also realised that the whole 76 Squad from a writing standpoint was horribly mishandled as it wasn't presented well, which caused this situation to unfold.

I also feel like I negatively effected certain events as while I'm sure Nikei's descent and downfall due to the fact he cannot get over his grudge over Masa wasn't related to how I felt, I can't help but feel that his anger was my sorta mouthpiece to how I was behaving. Not to mention between Black and White Christmas and now, I had to do a lot of emotional maturing due to irl events, which made me realise I was very poorly behaved.

So TL;DR While I felt Sunako was poorly written in some areas, the main bulk of it can be boiled down to personal issues relating to trust which Sunako happened to push one too many of my buttons. But understanding the context, some growing up on my side and realising I was a bit of a arsehole means I don't hate her. I don't like her but I am more neutral now.

[saturns-ringg]

little vent (its a bit long)

so I was in ela, and during my ela period, every wednesday we have this book club things, we read a section of the book (usually about 3 chapters) and then talk about it with our little table groups.

lastnight, as I was doing my homework, the power went out. I didn't think anything of it since the word program was still working, so of course I continued working on my assignment. boom, I turn it in after the power outage and feel pretty good. but then the next day, as I'm getting my assignment pulled up so I can discuss the section with my book, my teacher returned it and said it was blank in the feedback section. she sees that I've seen that comment and comes over to my table and says "yeah, it was blank so you have to go to that back table (no one is sitting there, fyi) and work on it again" see, the problem with that is, when the assignment is due, she closes it. therefore, I was confused because I couldn't turn it in anyway. but, I still worked on it for almost the WHOLE period (about 40 minutes)before I started working on it, I explained to her that lastnight when I was working on the homework my power went out, and I thought that had something to do with it, as well as the fact my PC doesn't work that well at saving things to onedrive. then, she says to me "why didn't you work on it on thursday and monday in class when you had freetime? if you're having problems with your computer it'd just be easier to work on it in class." which was a pretty good suggestion. thing is, I didn't have freetime that day because I was busy working on OTHER stuff she assigned me. I didn't say anything though. so meanwhile I'm on the verge of crying as I work on that, mostly because one of my friends was being really sweet, but also because the teacher was chatting and laughing with other students, and my friends at the table were discussing without me, and I felt I had really good conversation starters. as I finish doing it all over, I'm trying to figure out a way to send it to her. she comes up to me and says "okay shut your computer down and do the quiz you can't turn it in anyway since its closed" then why the fuck did I spend all that time working on it just for you to not even GLANCE at it???

later, I'm talking to my friend and she said "yeah, the same thing happened to me" she lives in my area, so her power also went out.

showing that, hey teacher, not just me procrastinating and not doing my work, it's happened to someone else!!

anyway, I cried when I got home.

tl;dr: teacher blamed me for my assignment being blank after a power outage and I got really upset because she made me do it again for no reason.

[scngbard]

anon sent: Wouldnt raine x lilith be kinda weird though..? I mean that is her sisters ex. Isnt that breaking girl code? I dont mean it in a bad way, its a good ship but just, imagine being eda and coming to your sister and your exes wedding.

unprompted asks || always accepting!

Ah! I see you’re new here, anon! Well, I’ve been meaning to make an updated post about all this, so guess this will be the perfect place to start! xD

I will get to actually answering your question in a moment, but I feel a brief mention of context is needed to do so. For, as mentioned in their blog description and rules, my Raine is semi-canon divergent! Although a portion of that reason has been scrapped due to canon events, the larger part of said divergence is that their blog canon/default main verse is that my Raine is in a relationship with @ravnheks​‘ Lilith.

The reason I bring this all up, though, in order to answer your question is because Zeph and I have extensively discussed and plotted out everything we possibly could thus far. And, when I say extensively, I do mean

extensively LMAO

Which also includes the point of your ask that’s brought up. owo (Although, I will say rn, I don’t actually know what all is actually included in the ‘girl code’, so I genuinely couldn’t say one way or another, but maybe?) In the briefest of answers; yes, but only initially. As there is a time after Lilith leaves the Emperor’s Coven that Raine does come to find her and ofc has to face Eda along with dealing with the awkward situation that they are in fact dating their ex’s sister. (The two are together for a period of time prior to show events.) It something they both actually have to deal with and work through even at the beginning of their relationship as there is that sort of guilt present there.

But, ultimately, even if things are tense and awkward initially between the couple and Eda because of their collective shared past, it isn’t something that all three of them aren’t able to get past. And, although Raine and Eda still would have that sort of close, special bond with each other that they’ve always had, it isn’t ever something that goes beyond platonic. (Of course, this may vary depending on the interpretation of a mun’s Eda, but this is just our default based on conversations and plotting I’ve had between Zeph and I, and with mutuals of mine that have/do write for Eda.)

tl;dr: Yes, initially it is a bit weird between the three of them as there are things that need to be talked/worked through because, yeah. It is an awkward situation. And, it certainly isn’t without it’s small rough patches here and there. But, at the end of the day, they’re able to overcome that and move forward with the new dynamics they have together now.

[literaphobe]

eh idk if you'll publish this but i wanted to rant about mcc and competitive gaming rly bad, sooo,,,, while i enjoyed event, i'm rather disappointed with aftermath of all of this, mainly: a) why are you trying to organise mcc underdogs in the first place? it feels like a cheap victory. like imagine you win - can you really brag about it? "yay guys i won an event without any s-tiers because... reasons." - is what it feels like to me. i watched red's pov and oh my god pearl did really good with everything: comms, mechanics, etc. and if she won, it would be bittersweet. something along the lines she is not good enough to win canon mcc, but good enough to win half-canon, while deminishing her value a) why organise an mcc underdogs event if 50% of participants are newcomers? call it mcc variety or something and make it non-canon for fun with special coin (even otv talked about it after their stream, they really enjoyed mcc and wanted to do an otv version of it). there's no one of regulars in finals, scott. b) okay, mcc underdogs with 50% of newcomers. why are you inviting really good minecraft event player - FBM - who specialises in mini-games? while he is not the best, he is on par with some s-tiers. strong player + newcomers = blood bath (and we are not even talking about blushi in team with him) c) why reddit is treating FBM like an s-tier after one half-canon event with 50% newcomers and underdogs? like what. it was not a perfomance of century. he did good among NEWCOMERS OH MY GOD. with my competitive side of knowledge (hello, i watched about 50 hours worth of minecraft events), he's not that good compared to many other testers. dorry. d) why people are being angry at FBM for 1st indiv and saying he shouldn't be allowed in mcc overall? his latest testing dates to 2 years ago, so it's not like he has strats or exploits or something like that. i can understand that he is a little bit of a sweaty player (20+ hours of mcci in week and god knows how many before that), but it's possible to balance. if blushi wasn't in this event - purple wouldn't have been in first overall. just give him sapnap treatment, scott.

e) and for the cherry on top: why on earth as of lately mcc can not decide whether they want to be competitive or for fun event? since addition of purpled/jojo/hannah it felt like everyone was getting better and better and more competitive and more competitive to the point where if you don't do vod review beforehand, you are gone.

it was so apparent when a lot of people got locked in sot today. there's A LOT to process if you are a newcomer, and if you don't - you perish. sure, there are a lot of vods and "how-to" videos, but learning strats doesn't prepare you for the real thing (ex: cyan in sot, abe in meltdown). and now they do canon (!!!) events that are mix of competitive and for fun. which is a choice for sure.

and while mccu didn't end up badly due to its nervewracking finale (boxbox vs. blushi finale), pretty close moments (pearl and cyan in meltdown, FBM clutching ar last second, hannah pkt, etc.) and a lot of respect and support for FBM from reddit - mixing fun and competitive today could cause BIG issues. remember mcc all-stars red and how everyone was like "ohhh who would've guessed /neg", even though event was purely for fun? yeah. but oh well, cyan did great comeback, so nobody is talking drama right now. fun fact: i have seen a comment that reads "this is what event could be like without dream" and boy. in how many words do you want me to explain you what is wrong. tl;dr; mcc underdogs was a bad idea. you are one the few blogs that post based takes on mcc, so i decided to join in :D reddit would execute me for this type of post aha

dear god… go off anon. i hope otv and friends do their version of mcc too bc if they do it well i foresee dteam and friends getting invites

a) i feel so bad for pearl. i saw her get top 10 and this would’ve been a great opportunity for her to shine but… lol

b) FBM should’ve never been in this event. the whole point of it is gone

c) LOL im curious to see how he did like. timing wise for certain games

d) its not his fault he was in this event, but scott should’ve never put him in. he could’ve debuted in mcc All Cracked

e) ITS FUCKING SCARY also WHY DIDNT THEY MAKE SOT EASIER??? its so clear that noxcrew wasn’t actually prepared for an ‘underdog’ mcc like why are u giving participation trophies out but making the game OLYMPIC LEVEL HARD

also mcc all stars was established from the start as a NON CANON event that didn’t fucking matter. they called mcc all losers MCC TWENTY SEVEN

thanks for dropping by anon im sure the mcc reddit is dumb and annoying and horrible rn

[zone1alma]

Hi, it’s me. Your friendly Alma ask blog mod that comes and goes and you can never predict her! :D

Ok, so anyway, here’s the juice.

And here’s the reason why I’ve popped back here after another 800 years of no activity.

So Alma’s blog (and the OFF fandom in general) have always been special to me on a personal level and even though I don’t hit up the OFF fandom like I used to back in 2012-2014, I still love it. I’ve tried to have this lil blog come off of hiatus many times, but I think with the slimming of the OFF fandom (I know it’s not dead, but it’s definitely not the fandom from back in the very early 2010s) and frankly, the fact that ask blogs just don’t seem to be as popular or as active on Tumblr as they used to be (at least not from what I see), I’m not sure this ask blog will ever be able to reach the activeness from the fandom I need to frankly keep it up and running. It’s also its own blog and not a side blog, so I have no active blogs I have attached to it, making it easy for me to completely forget about it and have even had a time or two where I thought I couldn’t find the stuff to log back in, thus losing it forever. 

So I’d like to do one last project involving this blog before I most likely have to say ‘goodbye’ to it for good. I want to make a new side blog and start redrawing all of my old Q & As on here as kind of an archive project and a way for me to enjoy the blog’s content one last time. This is so I’ll be able to go back and enjoy the content without having to seek out this blog and once I finish all the re-draws, I’ll probably log off of this account for the final time.

Alma is very dear to me and I want to continue to enjoy him even if I don’t hit up the OFF fandom as much as I did back when he was first created. So in a way, this is for personal enjoyment, but I will also share the side blog on here for anyone interested in following. I do wish I could transfer some of my other interactions for archive on the side blog, but all of that will probably just remain here (I’m not deleting the blog, just archiving it).

So yeah, I hope that makes sense? So yeah TL;DR: I know this blog will never get the chance to be active like it was back in the day due to slimming activity in the OFF fandom and ask blogs, so I’m going to re-draw the Q&A content on here to archive it on a new side blog that’s attached to an account I actually get on daily.

If anyone has any questions about this, feel free to ask~ I’ll post again once I get the side blog made.

[stubbornjerk]

Juno’s Season 3 Was Good, Actually

Or: Kevin and Harley’s writing is getting better with every season

I’ve seen a lot of people being unsatisfied with the finale, which is perfectly reasonable to me. What’s not is when people say the themes were a bit off this season and, as someone who Just Recently Caught Up, I can tell you definitively that the themes of this season have been anything but confusing. They’re simple and kind of genius that way.

To summarize, this season was about the Aurinko crime family learning to work together and getting the Curemother Prime.

That’s about all the TL;DR you’re getting from me. The long version is... that this season had about three themes: growth, faith, and family. Not specifically in that order, but I’ll try my best to illustrate these themes as coherently as possible through proud tears.

Major spoilers under the read-more :)

Growth

We began this season with Nureyev. Which was due to a lot of reasons, including the fact that Joshua Ilon wasn’t really available for extensive monologue recording. RL reasons aside, it matches up since we met our dear detective and understood him completely (season 1) and knew that he’d grown and set himself on the path to recovery (season 2).

Putting him in the backburner for a character who had grown to know him as well as Nureyev served as much of a narrative new perspective as it was an actual new perspective.

There’s a reason why all these episodes are still named after Juno Steel. These perspective shifts were both to introduce us to a cast we’ll end up getting to know well, and because they were highlighting themes of growth we’d seen on Juno in the previous season:

Nureyev realizes that his scorn and difficulty getting along with people is placed in his insecurity of his current emotional maturity.

Jet acknowledges the impacts of his past and accepts it going forward.

Vespa learns to open up to new people in her life, accepting that they aren’t always there to hurt or leave her.

Rita gradually accepts that there’s a reason these people trust in her and that wanting to help someone isn’t always in the best intentions.

Buddy wants to live and die on her own terms.

And when we come back to Juno, he’s a new person.

We’re Nureyev now, all over again. We see this new Juno Steel, who doesn’t get stuck in his head a lot, who doesn’t pick fights all the time, who tells his best friend I love you and means it, who isn’t scared to get introspective of moving on, and is vulnerable with people. He’s learned to let people take off the armor and see who’s wearing it instead of embodying the armor itself.

And that brings us to our second theme:

Family

Right, yeah, the queer sci-fi audio drama has a found family, surprise, surprise. But there’s more to it than just that. This season started with its own thesis statement: that this group of unlikely people do not have to like each other, but will have to. And staying with people you don’t have to like and still believing in them, still risking your life for them– that’s family.

Best example: none of them may trust Peter Ransom or his motives on this ship, but that doesn’t mean that when the going gets tough, we don’t trust him to get us out of this mess even if it means he has to fight tooth and nail for it.

Buddy and Jet believe this concept of family the most, Nureyev and Juno, the least.

There’s a reason why Buddy believed Jet to be the best chance this ship had for its next leader, and that’s because Jet accepts all of them, what they can and would do now despite of what they have done before. That was his big arc for Tools of Rust.

When the Getaway arrives, who else is it if not Jet who believes that they can get out of this, that Juno and Ransom would have to work together, not alone, in order to get them all out of this.

And they will. (Brilliant callback to Monster’s Reflection there, btw, I always did love that quote).

Nureyev doesn’t really believe in the concept of the Aurinkos as a family– he’s a lone wolf, of course he doesn’t. The way he scoffs family meeting in Man in Glass only reinforces that, though he starts believing the hype a bit as we go forward. He never addresses it again, of course, but that’s just on the King of Repression.

Juno, on the other hand, would love to believe in this idea of the Aurinkos as a family, except that in the moment he finally has to address it in himself that he does believe in it, that it isn’t just something he got used to saying in front of his old family, Sasha, he ends up having to choose between them and him.

And that’s where we get into our last theme for this season:

Faith

Before you call me a Catholic and move on, I mean this in the most generous of terms: this fits the season.

Faith is a step above trust, and it is a grand concept. It means trust, means belief, means that come whatever trial or tribulation, you know the person you have faith in will come through.

I’ve talked about this before, that people keep saying that the thing between Juno and Nureyev was always trust. Trust always evoked the idea of having to prove it in my brain, and it never added up until recently. Because, like Jet, the way Juno believed in Nureyev changed the way he saw him. Angel of Brahma (P2), the episode they bring back up in the finale, perfectly encapsulates this idea of believing in what Peter Nureyev could do.

And it’s such a masterful callback, because it really puts the entire season into perspective. That this unlikely group of people ended up putting their faith in each other and kept coming through for each other.

Shadows on the Ship was the perfect blind faith moment of this– when she stabs the bot pretending to be Juno because she believed, finally, that Juno would never call her crazy.

Mega-Ultrabots of Cyberjustice spins this on its head, the perfect twin episode, where she takes that faith, fumbles with it, but ultimately still proves to herself that she’s worthy of it, that there’s a reason she’s with this group of people.

I could mark all the moments it pops up in both HOIA and WLB but we’ll be here all day.

So, in conclusion...

When people say that the finale came out of nowhere I just sit here in my corner, clutching these ideas together like a bouquet wondering what stench straight up followed these people out of this season.

This season could not have been more clear about what it was about: growth, the idea of family, and having faith in each other. This was a reading me and my friends grew to accept and interpret, because it all made perfect sense and it was pretty clear cut.

Sure, you can read in the idea that this season is about accountability and Nureyev, but... that would muddy the waters, if you catch my drift.

Anyway, if you got to reading this far, thank you, and if you relisten to the season, keep these themes in mind!