#and would show they don't really think a spin-off can stand on its own

[yllowpages]

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

It isn't always easy (but how lucky I am to be known)

comfort came against my will - series masterlist here

pairing: dick grayson x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1.1k

genre: fluff, emotional comfort

warnings: reader is vaguely mentally ill, dick is insecure but it's ok in the end

a/n: this can be read on its own. lil bit more about reader and what they do in life. I don't know if I write stories or just weird character studies anymore. whatever lemme know if you like it

"Are you sure you want to go to this, baby? Dick asks you gently as you stare at your reflection in your bathroom mirror, smoothing out your hair one final time.

"I don't really have a choice, babe. The gala is for my company - it looks bad if I don't show." You sigh before spinning around to face him, leaning against the counter and looking up at him, cupping his cheek in your palm and smoothing out the worry lines in his forehead with your thumb. "I'll be okay," you assure gently.

Dick sighs in defeat and presses a kiss to your cheek, content to go with you and keep an eye on you. It had been… one of those days. One of those times when your brain just doesn't work the way you want it to, when your own mental illnesses wrap around your throat and strangle you from the inside out. Most days, he finds himself impressed by the way you strong-arm your own psyche into bending to your will, but he knows it can't always happen. He just wishes the world would understand that, too.

Dick continues to think this as your car pulls up outside the gala, your door opening and you sliding out, him in tow. It mesmerizes him always, the mask you slip on, the way you smile and charm and stand tall in front of the never-ending flashes of cameras and pushing questions of reporters. He's always been impressed by it, but he finds himself even more swept off his feet now that he knows what's come before. It's difficult, sometimes, for him to put this image of you next to the one he'd seen this morning - the one of you with tear tracks down your cheeks and unable to get out of bed.

You turn briefly to him to make sure he's still close by, and although you both know the press will see it as nothing more than a second of love between a couple, Dick knows what you're doing. He knows that you're holding him to his word - making sure that he meant it when he said he'd be by your side the whole night. He doesn't mind that you're checking. He has no intentions of breaking his promise.

The night progresses normally, flutes of champagne being passed around and small talk floating through the air. You charm and dazzle and glide around the way you normally do, but the grip you keep on Dick's hand serves as a constant reminder that you're not okay. When you go to pull your hand away from his, he finds himself unconsciously holding it tighter, not wanting to let you go.

"I have to go up and speak," you speak quietly in his ear, nodding towards the raised stage and the microphone that sits ominously atop it. Dick knows how these things go - he's been to enough Wayne galas growing up and has accompanied you to enough of your own that he knows the host, at some point, has to go up and make a speech.

He just wishes, tonight, that it wasn't your company, and that it wasn't your speech.

But he kisses your hand gently before releasing it, letting you stray too far away from him, and his stomach twists with something akin to panic.

And the feeling doesn't go away as he watches you speak. You're as poised and clear as you always are, the epitome of a successful leader - and if he didn't know that something was wrong, not even he would ever be able to guess that you're struggling.

The panic in his gut, he finds… twists into something else. Doubt, maybe. Insecurity, probably. How well does he actually know you? If you can slip on masks this easily, who's to say you don't have more hidden underneath? 

Dick tries to shake the thoughts from his head, reminds himself that he's your partner and you love him and you've never done anything to make him doubt that. But as you waltz off the stage and people clap and you flash commanding smiles toward people, he finds he can't banish his thoughts as easily as he could.

But then you're back by his side, gripping his hand in a way that makes him think you need him, and the night must go on. He pulls up his own mask, making polite conversation and flitting around like a socialite with you all night and he wonders if he's really any different from you. And then he wonders why he suddenly thinks that's a bad thing.

By the time the night ends and your driver pulls up and lets the two of you into your car, his face hurts from smiling and his feet ache from standing, but you squeeze his hand tightly before letting it go so that you can slide into the back seat and his stomach twists again as he slides in beside you, the door closing behind him.

But then… you change. He watches as you pull up the divider so that your driver can't see you, and then you exhale heavily, letting your shoulders drop and your eyes close as the formal pleasantness melts off your face. Your hand searches for his again and he takes it quickly, squeezing it to remind you that he's here, even if his head is spinning from the removal of his own mask.

"What are you thinking about?" You murmur, your eyes fluttering open to look at him with a flash of concern. Dick takes the hand that's not holding yours and cups your cheek gently, smoothing out the worry lines in your forehead with his thumb. 

"Just thinking about how much I love you," he murmurs back, and his heart thumps loudly in his chest as he remembers how true that statement is - how much he loves you and how honoured he feels that you take off your masks for him. He kisses your hand where it's interlocked with his own. "I'm just thinking about how lucky I am to be the one who gets to know you like this."

You smile lazily at him, a knowing look settling in your eyes. 

"Ah," you begin. "This isn't always easy, I know."

Dick exhales at your words, wondering how you always pin what he's feeling so easily. You bring your hand up to brush your thumb along the apple of his cheek. 

"I'm the lucky one, Dick. I should be thanking you for wanting to know me like this."

Dick smiles at your words, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him in the back of the car. "We're both lucky to have found each other, I guess," He murmurs into your hair, pressing kisses to the crown of your head.

"Yea," you smile. "I guess we are."

[pankowperfection]

For Rudy or Drew, you pick. You and him are best friends. He takes you to all the premiers and parties because he loves you so much and wants you to have the time of your life, but he always ends up taking someone else home afterward. One night, you decide you're sick of waiting for him to finally see you, so you decide to hook up with some random at the party. His own hookup doesn't go well (girl is too sloppy drunk or something) and he goes looking for you to go home. He finds you making out with some guy, becomes enraged and jealous, takes you home, and shows you in the most unholy way who you really belong to.

Tired of Waiting

warnings: smut, 18+, oral (fem receiving), slight choking

Another night, another party at some upscale club in downtown Los Angeles. You'd almost grown tired of this routine, Rudy inviting you to every event, even going as far as buying you outfits to wear. No matter what you did or how hard you tried to get him to see you as more than a friend or the "good time girl", he always ended up leaving with someone else. Tonight would be no different it seemed.

The laser lights bounce off of every reflective surface, almost making it hard to see as you wind your hips to the beat of the song the DJ is playing. As if your body can sense his presence, you turn around and spot the tall blonde man in the corner. Anger simmers in your system when you see a long legged brunette approaching him, quickly pulling him into a kiss while his hands slide to her ass.

You march your way over to the bar, ordering a double shot of tequila and catching the attention of an attractive stranger in the process. His eyes descend over your body, warming your skin from the inside out as his gaze lingers on your cleavage spilling from the top of your dress before sliding lower, taking his time to admire your bare legs.

"Damn sweetheart, you're this beautiful and you love tequila? Where have you been all my life?"

You laugh for the first time that night, enjoying the fact that someone can appreciate you.

"Well thank you. You look pretty hot yourself."

He's almost the opposite of Rudy. Short, brown hair. An intricate sleeve of tattoos working its way from his muscled forearm up until it disappears under his stylish button down shirt. He definitely works out, biceps threatening to rip the material to shreds if he moves the wrong way. His confidence is sexy, you can't quite put your finger on it but something about him screams dangerous and you are loving it. Your heart kicks into overdrive when he grabs your hand and pulls you onto the dance floor.

His hands make a new home on your hips, pulling your back flush against his front as you start to grind against him. His hot breath fans over your neck and tickles your ear, an involuntary shiver shooting through your body at the sensations. Without overthinking it you spin in his arms, placing your hands behind his neck and pulling him into a heated kiss.

If he was surprised he doesn't show it. One hand slides into your hair, angling your head before his tongue pushes into your mouth. The other moves to cup your ass, grabbing a handful before landing a soft spank that makes you gasp. You're so caught up in the moment you don't even notice Rudy emerging from the back hallway, the girl from earlier already forgotten as she was too drunk to even stand up.

He rudely interrupts the moment, clearly pissed about not getting a hookup tonight. "Come on y/n, time to go."

You jump at the sound of his voice, feeling guilty for a second before it disappears. "No thanks Rudy, I think I'll stay."

You give him your back, about to start kissing your new mystery man again before being pulled back by your wrist.

"I said let's go. Don't make me tell you again."

Something in his eyes tells you he isn't kidding. You mutter a quick apology to your date before being dragged out of the club, struggling to keep up with Rudy's long strides in your heels.

The ride home is deathly quiet, the tension between the two of you so thick you can taste it. When he takes a turn that leads to his place rather than yours your anxiety kicks up a notch.

"What are you doing Ru? You know this isn't the way to my apartment."

"Shut up y/n. Don't push me right now."

You've never seen him like this, eyes wild with you weren't sure what. His grip on the steering wheel tight enough to make his knuckles white. As soon as you pull up to his house he's out of the car, slamming the door behind him as you try to catch up.

"What the fuck is your problem today? You take home a different girl every time we go out and the ONE time I find a guy who is interested in me, you ruin it."

The words are barely out of your mouth before you're shoved against the front door that just shut behind you, hands easily pinned above your head with just one of his.

"You want to know what my problem is sweetheart? News flash, it's you. How can you not see that I've been trying to keep myself in control around you since the day we met?"

He cages you in, leaning his forehead against yours until he's so close that each word from his mouth brushes against your lips. The hard lines of his body somehow feel just right pressed against your soft curves, heat settling low in your belly at the feeling of his semi hard cock laying against your stomach.

"Everything about you drives me crazy. Do you know how many times I've had to take care of myself after being around you in a tiny excuse for a bikini or a super short dress? How many nights I've imagined what you taste like? How you sound when you moan? If you want me as badly as I want you?"

Pleasure replaces your initial shock, hot lust swirling through your veins as his words sink in.

"If all that is true, then what are you going to do about it? Hmm?"

You want to tease him, make him wait like he has you but the truth is you are tired of waiting, desperate to see if the rumors are true about how good he is in bed.

"I'm going to show you what you always should have known, you're mine sweetheart."

He doesn't waste anymore time, capturing you in a passionate kiss that you feel all the way to your toes. He moans at the taste of you and you take advantage, plunging your tongue into his mouth. Without breaking the kiss he easily picks you up, wrapping your legs around his torso before carrying you to the couch.

He gets your dress off in record time, hungry eyes taking in every inch of your exposed flesh. Your mouth dries when he pulls off his shirt and pants, leaving him in only his tight boxers with a very large tent in the front.

"Like what you see baby?" he taunts, pulling you back into his embrace before pushing you onto the plush cushions of the couch. The weight of his body on tops of yours feels so good, his sinful mouth making a path from your jaw down your neck, biting and sucking deep bruises into your skin.

Satisfied with his work he moves further south, eagerly licking and nibbling each of your nipples until they stiffen into hard peaks. Each flick of his tongue over your sensitive flesh sends bolts of pleasure straight to your clit, almost like an imaginary wire is connecting the two.

"God Rudy, feels so good."

You feel him smirk against your skin, your fingers winding their way into his hair while he trails kisses down your torso. You hold your breath in anticipation when he gets closer to your aching pussy, a small whine leaving your lips when he starts his torture over again, working his way from your knee up to the inside of your thigh, avoiding where you need him most.

"Such a pretty pussy," he murmurs, finally sliding two fingers through your slit, gathering wetness while he situates himself between your thighs, one leg over each of his shoulders. "Be a good girl for me and let me make you forget all about that guy at the bar."

You don't have time to respond before he's on you, tongue diving deep, teasing around your soaking hole before gliding up and over your clit. He devours you like a starved man, no inch of your sensitive flesh untouched by his skilled tongue. In no time at all you feel your high building, shameless grinding into his face while you tug harshly on his hair.

"That's it sweetheart, take what you need. You taste fucking amazing, want you to soak my face baby."

His dirty words do nothing to help the flames of desire scorching through your system. Two of his thick fingers sink into your wet heat and your back arches off the couch, loud moans echoing off the walls when he curls them just right to stroke your sweet spot.

He doubles his efforts, quickly flicking your sensitive clit up and down with his tongue while his fingers slowly pump in and out. Your orgasm hits you like a train, whole body shaking as you cum with his name spilling from your lips. He laps up every last drop of your release, your thighs trembling from the incredible pleasure before you finally push him away.

Before you can process what's happened he's all the way naked, stroking his huge cock through your wetness while his eyes stay glued to your face.

"Tell me you want this y/n. I need to hear you say it."

Your breath catches in your throat when the tip catches on your entrance, desperation taking over at just how badly you need him inside of you.

"I want you Rudy. Please fuck me."

You barely finish your sentence before he buries himself inside you to the hilt in one, hard thrust. You both are breathing heavy, a sexy groan leaving his lips at how good you feel wrapped around him.

"Shit, I'm never gonna be able to get enough. This pussy was made for me."

All you can do is nod, too drunk on the feeling of him filling you over and over to form a coherent thought. He sets a brutal rhythm, one hand wrapping around your throat while the other grips tightly on your hips, forcing you to remain in place.

Your hands circle his muscular biceps, nails leaving crescent moon indents in his skin. You start to clench around him, a second orgasm building quickly. His lips trail up your neck before melding with yours, his tongue thrusting into your mouth and making you moan.

"Come on baby, cum for me." Sweat glistens on his brow, making him look so irresistible you can't help but imagine licking every inch of his skin. The hand on your throat skates down your body to rub your clit in smooth circles, his other hand coming up to play with your nipples.

The extra stimulation is all you needed. You fall apart with a scream, clenching around him so hard he can't resist, filling you up with his warm release while continuing to give you soft thrusts. He reaches up to push your hair out of your face, leaning down to give you a sweet kiss while still buried inside of you.

"You realize there is no going back from this right? You're mine now y/n, I mean it."

You laugh, pulling his face back down to give him another slow kiss. "Of course you idiot, I've always been yours."

@adventuresinobx @starkeyobx @paradisehamilton @ailee-celeste @pankhoeforlife @outerbankspov @houseofperfecttaste @faithforgottenlxnd @maybankslover @maybanks-luver @blueicequeen19 @toystory2wasjustokay @onmykneesforrafe @penny4yourthoughts @maddie-routledge @ilovetheavenger143

[maple-the-awesome]

We'll Meet Again...I Know When || Chapter 31

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN Reader

Words: 2,745

Overview: Given your old-fashioned personality and obsession with all things 1940s to 1980s, it’s no wonder that most people refer to you as an ‘old soul’ who would’ve rather lived back then than in the modern era. Little do they know, you already did, but with your previous life as Hollie Stark cut short, you’ve been left with some…unfinished business, to say the least. Top of your list? Finally getting to marry your thought-to-be-lost fiancé.

Series Masterlist 🤎 Marvel Masterlist 🤎 Fandom Masterlist

CHAPTER THIRITY-ONE: READ THE ROOM

If you had known it would have resulted in you having to work with Bucky and Zemo, you would've never opened your door for Sam. Despite how civil you're trying your best to be, a part of you wants to slap them both for different reasons, although if thinking more rationally, Bucky's only crime against you is breaking your heart by turning his back and walking away without so much as a goodbye. Zemo, on the other hand, tried to frame Bucky for the UN Bombing, traumatized your nephew by showing him a recording of his own parents' brutal deaths, and ultimately tore the Avengers inside-out. Needless to say, you're having a really difficult time so much as glancing at Zemo's smug face without wanting to fulfill your previous promise to break his nose, and it's not like he's doing much to save himself from receiving that fate either.

"So, what's with the frosty air between you two, hmm?" He gestures between Bucky and you with the champagne glass his butler hands him, his eyes flashing with mischief as he takes a drink, "Now that I think about it, I don't believe I've seen you say a word to each other this entire time. It would be a shame if you've broken up. You were quite the 'couple' last we crossed paths."

You do your best not to give him the satisfaction of your attention, continuing to watch out the jet window instead while spinning your ring which is the only distraction you unfortunately have during this long flight. While you may hide it well, it does hurt to know Zemo's words hold truth. Bucky has barely said a damn word to you since the apartment, purposefully going out of his way to avoid even addressing your presence despite being on this whole mission together. Hell, so far he's been more willing to respond to the criminal who terrorized him than the person who used to be his fiancée...Did you really hurt him that bad to somehow be worse than Zemo?

"Where are you taking us?" Thank God for Sam who has proven himself to be the only person on this trip you can stand to be around. Reading the jet's rigid energy, he's quick to try changing the topic, yet Zemo refuses to address his question right away, taking his time setting down his drink in exchange for picking up the book that has been balancing on his lap.

"...Sorry -" He 'innocently' pretends to have only just heard Sam, "- I was just fascinated by this. A lot of it's scribbled out, although it seems to be an important letter; a heartfelt one, from what I can make out. 'Holiday Edwardine -"

By the time you zoned in to your name being mentioned, it was instantly cut off by two steps - two heavy footsteps before Zemo was suddenly pinned back against his chair, his neck trapped in Bucky's gloved hand which doesn't show much restraint with its iron grip.

"Touch that again and I kill you," Bucky's voice is a whispered threat, yet still heard throughout the dead silent jet as no one does or says anything about his unexpectedly aggressive behavior. Even Zemo only responds with a short nod and a quiet gasp for air once Bucky finally removes his hand, allowing him to breathe easy once again.

Ripping the small notebook from his hands, Bucky shares a quick glance at the shocked expressions Sam and you wear before returning to his seat wordlessly. You follow his movements, watching as he awkwardly pushes the notebook back into his coat pocket while shifting his head towards the window as if he can feel your burning stare.

Zemo clears his throat, giving off a tone that some might believe to be genuine, although it loses its effect on all of you, "I'm sorry. I understand that was the name of your late wife. As for the list of names on the other pages - people who you've wronged as the Winter Soldier."

"Don't push your luck," Bucky grumbles, again shifting in his seat as if doing so will somehow get him further away from this situation.

You want to ask - to reach your hand out for his and gently question what's wrong. You knew Bucky must still struggle with parts of his part, so you're not surprised that the Winter Soldier's victims would remain on his mind, but Hollie as well? He should realize by now that you don't blame him; you've insisted it enough times. He knows you're alive and well in this life, so he doesn't have to let any guilt about what happened weigh him down...but you keep your hands to yourself instead of saying a word of it aloud, looking down at your lap as you decide it isn't your place to press anymore, after all Bucky made himself quite clear earlier that he doesn't want you worrying about him.

"...I'veseen that book before. It was Steve's. When I told him about Trouble Man, he wrote it in that book. Have you listened to it? You like it?" Sam breaks the silence, once again trying to turn the conversation towards one he hopes won't start a fight. Little did he know that he'd be the one to partake in the next bickering session because of it, not convinced by Bucky's claims that he 'liked' the soundtrack. Even Zemo would agree with Sam that it's a masterpiece, yet that would be the extent of their common ground.

"You must have really looked up to Steve," Zemo takes the conversation away from movies and music, deciding to tip-toe over the line of what's acceptable to say and what will get him punched, "I realized something when I met him for myself - that the danger with people like him is the very way we put them on pedestals, idolizing them as storybook heroes and symbols of hope until we become blind to their flaws. From there, wars begin, cities fall, innocent people lose their lives...You remember that, right? As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad 'icon'? Now, do we really want to live in a world full of people like Red Skull?"

"Steve was a pretty far cry from Red Skull, though," You point out, speaking for the first time since boarding this jet which brings Zemo's attention from Bucky to you, "Let's not forget that super soldiers aren't inherently corrupt. You can see it anywhere with shitty people being given power useful for their own benefit. It doesn't necessarily take super powers, just an escape from accountability that goes to your head. That's why Steve was so carefully chosen - Why Dr. Erskine didn't simply hand off the serum to the first fit soldier to cross his path. He picked the little guy from Brooklynn because he knew that's who would fight for what's right, not for his own interests."

"And I couldn't agree more. Steve Rogers was a unique exception, but how many people are you willingly to bet will follow in his footsteps? Certainly not those 'Flag-Smashers', I would think," He has a point you can't argue against. Steve and Bucky are good people who didn't let their superhuman abilities change that, and while you're sure there are more people like that out there, it isn't safe to just cross your fingers hoping they'll be the ones who come across any super soldier serum circling the globe unmanaged, "That's why we're going to Madripoor."

"Yeah, I have some questions about that. What's exactly the deal with Madripoor? You keep talking about it like it's Skull Island or something," Sam asks.

"It's an island in the Indonesian archipelago. In the 1800s, it was known as a pirate sanctuary," Bucky explains distantly.

"But it's kept its lawless ways since, which means we can't simply walk in as ourselves. Three people associated with the Avengers would only cause unwanted attention, perhaps a few bullets sent our way," Zemo swirls his champagne glass in hand as he eyes Sam and you, "You both will be easy enough to conceal, although I'm afraid James will have to become someone he claims to be gone."

You glance at Bucky who stiffens, only sparing a quick glare at Zemo then back out the window. You can't say the idea sits well with you either...

When Zemo said Madripoor is 'lawless', you expected something like Hell’s Kitchen or Detroit, but this is far, far worse. The streets are literally packed with crime, every corner having someone who casually stands around with a large gun in hand while every shop specializes in illegal goods. A few steps out of the car and you felt as if you had just walked straight into a GTA game on steroids except unlike a video game, none of you have extra lives to spare - Well, you might, but you're not quite willing to part with this one just yet.

To avoid looking suspicious and getting shot for doing so, you have to put full faith in Zemo's plan, something you never thought you'd have to do ever. Admittedly he seems to know what he’s doing, although you would complain that he's being a little too cheerful while doing it. Not once did he flinch when all eyes focused upon your group as you entered the Brass Monkey Saloon nor did he hesitate to introduce Sam to the bartender under his temporary identity as 'Smiling Tiger'.

You feel for Sam, especially when forced to choke down a drink made of the fresh insides of a snake, however your pity must wait until later because you have your own role to strictly stick to here. A humble and forgettable assistant, you're to remain silent yet observant while accomplishing whatever small tasks are ordered of you (not that you plan on doing any more for Zemo than required for this act). It’s annoying, but easier than drinking snake guts, so you're not about to complain.

You had noticed when entering the saloon that several patrons have taken special interest in Bucky, their whispers once again meeting your ear as you wait for Sam to gain the courage to finish his drink, however you try not to concern yourself with. In any other environment, you'd be ready to pick a fight with anyone bold enough to start gossiping about the 'infamous Winter Soldier's' presence, but here and for this mission, Bucky's past is exactly what you need people to pay attention to.

You can hear Sam gag quietly after the bartender finally walks away, hopefully to set up a meeting with this 'Selby' person Zemo says can provide you guys with information. In the meantime, you look up and manage to catch Bucky's eyes only briefly before they dart back to watch the other patrons. You roll your own eyes and find somewhere else to look since even undercover in a crowded bar, it seems he can still find time to be mad at you.

Suddenly, Bucky stands straighter and grabs your wrist, giving it a slight tug that moves you subtly in his direction. You would've wondered why if not for immediately feeling the presence of someone else walking up behind you. Turning around, you find a man has squeezed his way out of the crowd to where he now stands practically toe-to-toe with Zemo.

"Got word from higher up. You ain't welcome here," The man threatens, although despite his attempt at intimation, Zemo hardly does more than blink.

"I didn't come here for business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come to talk to me..." With a smug undertone to his voice, Zemo trails off while gesturing to Bucky who has already let go of your wrist, but only in exchange for having a hidden hand hovered over your hip to keep you close in front of him, "...Or bring Selby by for a chat."

The man seems to size Bucky up, and since you’re standing between them, it feels as if he’s also looking you over, however if he wonders who you might be or notices that the ‘Winter Soldier’ seems awfully protective over you, it goes unsaid. Sparing one last hostile look at Zemo, the man disappears back into the crowd, allowing you to let go of that breath you’ve been holding and for Bucky to remove his hand, "'Power Broker'? Really?"

"Every kingdom needs its king."

Surveyingthe crowd, you notice several men beginning to slowly surround your group. You keep your eyes trained on them, your hand cautiously lowering to your belt where you keep the taser you had stubbornly refused to part with earlier. Whether he saw the concern on your face or sensed the approaching goons for himself, Zemo pushes off the counter and locks eyes with Bucky, "Zimniy Soldat…Ataka."

Just as one of the men places a heavy hand upon Zemo’s shoulder, Bucky swiftly pushes you behind him before grabbing the man’s hand, twisting it until it snaps, but he doesn’t let go, instead forcing him to walk backwards until at the center of the room. There, Bucky goes head-to-head with him and all his little buddies who decide they might actually stand a chance against a super soldier.

If anyone hadn’t been paying attention to your group before, they’re definitely not missing the show now. The crowd watches in awe as Bucky easily beats every fool who swings a punch his way, doing so with little emotion written over his face; the complete opposite of how Sam and you observe the chaotic scene in front of you.

"Didn't take much for him to fall back into form, did it?" Zemo leans over to whisper to you, his comment being one that will boil your blood if you think back to it later, but for now, you’re too focused on Bucky.

You can hardly stand seeing him fight as the Winter Soldier like this, even if it’s just pretend. He can handle himself, you know that. He’s within control and doing this of his own volition, but that doesn't mean he should have to. You know this is hurting him inside, only serving as a cruel reminder for what he once was. It’s torture to see and recognize that hidden pain in his eyes as he slams one of the men onto the bar counter, keeping him trapped there all by the strength of a single hand crushing his throat. You might not be a mind reader, but you can guess what’s going through Bucky’s right now: how many people has he done this to without control or mercy? How many people has he actually killed using the same method?

Sam also shows his concern over how far this has suddenly gone, especially when the echo of guns’ cocking becomes impossible to dismiss. He places a hand on Bucky’s arm, however he’s called off by Zemo who’s quick to remind you both through whispered breath about the risks of losing character now.

“Molodets, soldat.”

Selby will finally see you. Your efforts of concealing your identities and that little ‘show’ Bucky put on has won you another step towards finding the super soldier serum. That should be a good thing that takes some stress off your shoulders, but it doesn’t.

Bucky’s expression is frozen in a blank stare, his movements almost automatic as he simply lets go of the man and lets him slide off the counter. Somehow his breath is louder in your ears than the mumbling of the captivated crowd - a crowd you almost completely forget about.

“...Hey, you okay -?” You whisper, reaching to touch his arm as has always been habit for you, however you instantly retract your hand when Bucky jerks away, his eyes once again only briefly meeting yours - this time with an emotion you can’t quite put a name to - before he roughly pushes by to follow Zemo.

Your hand feels stuck in the air until you awkwardly lower it and bite your frowned lip. There’s a burning in your eyes and an aching to your soul, one you fear might become too obvious if you let yourself dwell on it for too long, so you suck it up and trail after the others all while bitterly electing to ignore the way Sam watches you sympathetically in your peripheral vision. You're thankful he can’t ask with everyone else around. It’ll hurt less if you just don’t think about it.

NEXT CHAPTER ->

<- PREVIOUS CHAPTER

[onskepa]

I see DJ'Otxang as a bad bitch who can do rap, trap, street dancing and many more. Can she show the sully some street dancing or hip hop??

I like to imagine O'txang teaching the na'vi kids how to spin their feet and spin on their heads. Gonna try with street dancing! Hope you and everyone likes it!

DJ O'txang in the house! , Rhythm of sound

-------------------

DJ O'xtang: Hot Feet

O’xtang has gotten some fame from the young na’vi. Being able to make human music while crafting something new from it, music soothing and up beat for the na’vi to dance with. Can even form interesting sounds with her vocal chords. Sounds that no one can ever recreate. Her talents have made her stand out and be popular. The youngsters always hear her music, her sounds. Isnt there anything else O’xtang can do? Is there any other talents she is capable of? 

And the answer is: yes. 

What other talent would that be? 

A little thing called street dancing. A form of dance still holding strong and still being free of any form of control.

“Ok, 3, 2, 1-” 

“What are you doing?” 

“HOLY SHI-DONT SCARE ME!” 

O’xtang put her hand on her chest in a dramatic way as she looked at tuk who scared the living crap out of her. Tuk just giggled at her behavior as she held Kiri's hand. Everyone stood watching O’xtang doing….whatever she was doing. 

“Yeah, what are you doing?” Lo’ak repeats the question. 

“Street dancing” Spider replies casually as he passes by them. The sully eyes were on him since he was wearing regular human clothing. “Wait, what is going on? O’xtang you are swinging your legs and spider is that human clothes you are wearing?” Kiri asks in bewilderment. 

Both humans nod. 

“Why?” Neteyam asks. Such an odd day already. 

“Well O’xtang has been teaching me how to street dance, getting the hang of it” 

“Eh not really no” O’xtang answers honestly. 

“Ok hold on, back up. What is this ‘street dancing’ you keep saying?” Lo’ak asks. Spider stepped aside and turned on the music player, a familiar version of musical beats escaped the speakers. But new waves of deep vibrating sounds came through, and each thrust of a beat, O’xtang started to dance at the exact timing of it. 

Her hands sway in smooth motions but also sharp and quick. Thrusting her body side to side, lowering down and rising back up. But the most impressive part was laying down and swinging her legs in a circular motion, almost as if her legs had minds of its own. Spinning around and around. Her head on the floor spinning as well. 

O’xtangs moves were oddly hypnotizing in a way, Nothing like the siblings have seen before, yet it somehow fits with the rhythm of the music. And just as the music started, it ended with O’xtang hand standing like nothing. 

An immediate applause broke from the kids. Praising her for the fun entertainment. 

“And that is street dancing, one of many versions” O’xtang says while catching her breath. Wiping the sweat off of her brow, she take a seat. Everyone gathered around her, intrigued of what they just saw. 

“How did you learn it?” 

“Why is it called street dancing?” 

“How do you spin yourself like that?” 

“Don't you get dizzy?” 

So many questions at the same time. O’xtang hand to shush them. 

“Ok how about a few videos? I think watching it is better explained than describing it” the dancer offers. Everyone nods so she sets up the projector and looks for specific videos to play. 

There were a mix of feelings. 

Grossed out, excited, confused, curious, intrigued, horrified, baffled, etc. 

It is odd how and weird how humans can contort their bodies to move certain ways. Almost as if they don't have any bones. And the speed of it, very fluent yet quick. And dance battles to see who can dance better? The most peaceful fight they have ever seen. 

“And that is street dancing, any questions?” O’xtang asks as she turns off the projector. There was a few seconds of silence until lo’ak raises his hand, “can you teach me?”. Everyone turned to his direction, eyebrows raised. 

“You? Street dancing?” Kiri asks, almost not believing it herself. Lo’ak nods enthusiastically, “why not? Looks fun” he reasons. He looks back at O’xtang, almost a pleading look. Spider and O’xtang shared a silent conversation between their eyes and shrugged. 

“I don't see a problem with that, spider is just learning two so you guys will be on the same level. But lo’ak, are you absolutely sure? Because I won't give you baby steps” O’xtang says, giving the full warning to lo’ak. However, being too excited, he nods, either not hearing or not caring about her warning. 

“Ok, the rest of you guys can sit wherever on the cushions. This might take all day” 

Neteyam, kiri and tuk sat where the pillows are as they get ready to see lo’ak perform those silly human dances. 

“Ready? 5, 6, 7, 8!” 

“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!” 

“Oh my god…” 

“Just give up lo’ak” 

Everyone was either laughing or cringing at lo’ak’s silly actions. 

Lo’ak’s face was planted on the cold floor, his legs tangled in themselves as well as his tail. Grunting, he gets up and glares at spider who was having the time of his life by laughing at his failure. O’xtang did her best to hold back her laughter. But clearly she thought it was funny too. 

“I don't get it, I followed your exact instructions. Spider did it well, how come I didnt?” Lo’ak asked more to himself rather than to O’xtang. She stood in thought until she snapped her fingers. 

“It's your tail,” She points out. 

Lo’al looked at his tail, his siblings also looking down at theirs. “How?” He asks. O’xtang walks over to him to observe his tail and rewind how he was moving in her mind. “When swinging your legs around, you were too low to the floor, thus dragging your tail. Me and spider don't have a problem since we don't have a tail. But It will be tricky to do some moves with your tail swerving around. Not only that but when making a sitting position, you almost bent the base of your tail. However you were able to do the rest perfectly since you have extra fingers and toes. Helps a lot with your balance” O’xtang explains. 

Lo’ak listened well and thinks of how he can learn to dance. “Maybe we can make adjustments. Figure out a style that doesn't require hurting your tail” O’xtang suggests. 

“Maybe lo’ak can cut off his tail!” Tuk says happiled. Everyone turned and looked at her with horrified expressions as she smiled ever so innocently. 

“No” was what everyone said. 

“Wait, how about a mix of hip hop with freestyle? Yeah that could work, the style is different but it's flexible” O’xtang says while putting a finger on her chin. Liking the idea more, she changes her music settings to set the mood. 

“Ok, this spider will show you some examples and see if you can replicate it, ready spider?” O’xtang asks, spider nods, “ready!” 

“Ok, in 5, 6, 7, 8!” 

“That's it! You are getting better!” O’xtang cheers for lo’ak as he posed perfectly after his dance. He was breathing a bit heavy, street dancing does take the breath out of you. Wiping off his sweat, he sits down and spider pats him on the back. 

“Not bad for a beginner” Spider teases, it earned him a small side push from lo’ak. 

“Shut up, you are a beginner too” He replies. Both chuckle as they drink huge jugs of water. 

Tuk claps rapidly and runs over to O’xtang, playfully tugging at her arm, “can you teach me too? Please please , pretty please??” she begs. O’xtang looks at tuk, tilting her head slightly. Well tuk technically is tall enough and has the energy to keep up. 

“Sure, but with you, I will go baby steps” O’xtang accepts. Tuk cheers out happily, already making silly moves as to copy lo’ak and spider. 

“You know what? I want to learn too, "Neteyam says as he gets up. Seeing spider and lo’ak dance seemed a lot of fun. Wouldn't hurt to join them too. O’xtang nods in approval and turns to kiri, “and you kiri? Want to learn too?” she asks. 

Kiri shakes her head but smiles, “no thanks, I am good just where I am, laughing at my brother's foolishness”. 

After a 10 minute break for lo’ak and spider, they all got in line waiting for O’xtang’s instructions. 

“Alright, now the music I used for lo’ak is a mix of hip hop and freestyle rap. A good combination to let the beats flow within and move with the sound of each note. You don't move with your mind, you move with the music. It guides you to the flow. The music is your dance partner. Now there are many ways to dance, there is no limitation. Creativity is key. But since tuk, neteyam and lo’ak have tails, we are going to keep that in mind”. 

It wasnt an easy task, but it was a fun one. O’xtang managed to teach the sully’s some interesting moves, no tail injury necessary. 

“Ok now follow me lead, careful, cause I got hot feet, now 5, 6, 7, 8 lets go!” 

Aaaaaaaaaand that is all! I did my best with this one. Hopefully it is to everyons satisfaction! Until next time! see ya!

[beesmygod]

JJBA PART 5, VENTO AUREO IS THE UNDERBAKED MESS I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT FIXING...PART 2

FIX 1: MORE KOICHI FOR THE MASSES

koichi! we love koichi, don't we folks? i know i do.

who's koichi? oh shit, that might be hard to explain.

pictured: koichi, in his dormant, yet most powerful, form.

if you DON'T recognize this little gremlin above, his appeal might be totally lost on you, and his appeal is necessary to understand if i'm going to convince you of what a fucking missed opportunity his narrative purpose could have been.

that's koichi hirose, the short king of morioh. i didnt think i would like him at all after realizing he was being set up as the deuteragonist and companion to the titular jojo of part 4, josuke. like, who the fuck was this little dork? get outta here! im here to see the joestars kidnap children and have homoerotic adventures. i am not here to be subjected to the trials and tribulations of a friendless, spineless, standless dipshit. i assumed he was going to be the designated joestar hypeman for the chapter, a role usually carved out for precocious children.

wrong! koichi gets hit with the stand arrow (the arrow the gives you stands, remember this) early on and gets dragged into a frightening battle of good versus evil right in his own backyard. the arrow and the responsibility that comes with it acts as the main catalyst for his transformation from nottie to hottie. in contrast to the bastardly joestars and their ilk, koichi is a genuinely kind, empathetic, and honest person; he's intended as a foil to the mischievous josuke. he brings to the table the platonic ideal of an every-man who rises gallantly to the challenges thrown at him because its the right thing to do. the series folds koichi as a main cast member to the point where he is one of the very few people on planet earth to draw a smile and praise out of jotaro kujo.

who's jotaro kujo? uhhh.

hmm. i'm getting to my point. but it might require a chart:

POINT: jotaro kujo, the man who probably has with the strongest stand in universe, who appears in 4 chapters out of a total of 9, and who is probably one of the most recognizable and beloved characters in manga history, trusts literally one person on the entire planet: koichi hirose.

SO:

when koichi shows up in part 5 right from the jump to act as the part 4 connective tissue, there is absolutely no reason why he can't stick around for longer than he does canonically so that he can satisfyingly fulfill his role as official vibe checker. let him be important!

---

oh my god, i can hear jojo fans groaning as they scroll through all that shit. so what?! did you make me read all that just to say "there should have been more koichi?!"

look, i need to make sure "we're" all on the same page and understand the perspective i'm coming from. "we", in this case, being the audience of both jojo fans this is primarily aimed at and fandom rubberneckers (greetings friends) who shouldn't have to comb a wiki exhaustively to decode my unhinged ramblings. it's essential background info that koichi is a fan favorite both in canon and in fandom. we gotta understand the role he wound up playing in the overarching struggle of good versus evil in his hometown to understand his narrative role in part 5.

YES. there SHOULD have been more koichi! but not just because we like to see him! he provides an established, trusted moral backbone for the audience. his reputation as a reliable guy is such that jotaro sends him on his own to investigate a young man who may be related to the dreaded bisexual nemesis of the joestar bloodline, dio brando. this is a big fucking deal. if dio has a kid that's really bad. how many backup plans did this guy have (answer: dude you have no idea).

---

ugh! part 5 koichi! if you really want to scream look up how he looks in the rohan spin off series.

in ep 1 of the "golden wind", koichi arrives in italy looking for our new jojo, giorno giovanna (who sucks, but that's a whole kettle of fish we can only barely touch on now). koichi, who has the street sense of one of those dogs that gets carried around in a luxury purse, instantly gets robbed by petty street criminal giorno in a rare burst of personality never seen again after this initial story-line.

okay whatever. after skipping a few eps, giorno and koichi team up to defeat the first stand together after drawing its ire during giorno's weird mafia test. the stand, black sabbath, stabs its victims with a stand arrow (the arrow that gives stands), causing them to either die or gain powers. this might be controversial, but its my personal opinion that its probably not good for a mafia to have a factory that creates jerks with super powers and its right to try to shut that down. after the fight, giorno reveals his dream to koichi of joining the mafia with the explicit purpose of reforming it from within. koichi promises not to report to jotaro about the fact that there's ANOTHER STAND ARROW until after giorno is initiated into the gang. god. jesus christ.

first of all, this GANG-STAR thing is the silliest shit anyone has ever heard. this is literally his for real goal throughout the entire story-line. which could have been great! but people within the fiction should react to this like hes telling them he's going to invent the first bicycle for fish instead of looking at him with the kind of wonder and glory you reserve for jesus christ himself. this train of thought leads to too many thoughts about giorno's lack of personality, so let's set it aside for now. i think giorno should maintain this insane goal, but he should actively have to convince people that he is capable of doing something that fucking nuts.

second, no way would koichi agrees to this absolutely braindead truce lol. koichi doesn't know giorno from adam; the sense we're supposed to get is that koichi innately senses that he's a good guy from his little speech and we, the audience, are supposed to take his word for it. but there is nothing convincing or authentic in how the situation plays out. there's a level of naivety/stupidity applied to the characters involved for this situation to work at all: i dont know why telling jotaro in florida that there's a stand arrow in italy would impact giorno's mafia standing at all. especially considering the arrow breaks and no longer functions shortly after giorno's initiation. koichi should find giorno's dreams and desires spurious and continue his investigation for jotaro, both to impress him and because its the right thing to do. he should also be like "heh, i took care of a stand arrow for you mister kujo". let him have another win. fuck it. why not.

third, koichi doesn't know that the stand arrow is destroyed and i have a hard time believing that he, a victim of said arrow, would do anything other than raise serious alarms over the proliferation of objectively evil stand users in italy where dio's son coincidentally happens to live. the following arc in which giorno and his new team mates go on a hunt for a hidden treasure should have been a series of demonstrations to koichi that italy was being cleaned up by a joestar (as opposed to the danger of being exploited by a brando) and was ultimately in good hands. this would require giorno to get some wins in during this time so he would actually have to do something for a change.

keeping koichi around long past where he does in canon could and should have given giorno a chance to demonstrate a different form of heroism to contrast the pure-hearted pursuit of justice championed by koichi. in eventually winning over a familiar and trustworthy character, giorno would have proved himself to be more than just "dio's son", a fact which should have hung over this part like a dark cloud.

but that's. that's next time.

[chaoxfix]

hm. upon replaying frontiers. the cutscenes and character talks ... are. not as good as i remember. so im doing a belated frontiers review, focusing more on characterization than gameplay -- because i have very few complaints with the gameplay, except for chaos island. because fuck that volcano in particular smh

anyways -- for all my criticisms here, i still like the game, and i see the characterization as lightyears beyond forces, and its definitely doing damage control for about a decade of bad characterization... but... all i can still say for certain is that its a step in the right direction but definitely not without some flaws i really want to write out to get out of my head. because some of the conversations are kind of. hm.

anyways. im gonna go a little more in depth with whats rubbing me the wrong way about a few characters under the cut, ALONG WITH SOME POSITIVES, but if you don't want to see anything negative about frontiers, please don't read! i don't want to damage anyone's perceptions of the game if you love it. and i do stand by the gameplay being really genuinely fun, its really just the characterization that has a few things that are bugging me -- which is surprising because i really liked it the first go around. anyway, here we go.

okay so here's whats bugging me about the following characters: mainly amy and tails, and following them, in order of most to least 'off' to me -- sage, eggman, sonic, and knuckles. that being said, even the negative points COULD spin to a positive, and i'll end with the positives after i explain what's bugging me and why.

amy, the negatives:

she just seems incredibly melancholy. yes, the atmosphere of the game is overall mysterious and melancholy, but amy seems more affected than anyone else. it also feels like no one was quite sure what to do with her character in this game, and she has a moodness that she's never had in other games (other than crying over sonics literal dead body in 06).

the interaction with her and sonic and reuiniting the koco with its long lost love ... "would you really not help a person in need?" and i think sonics response was really good -- a gentle "no, but we need to prioritize XYZ first" -- ... yet we're meant to sympathize with amy? why? to me, the emotional impact of this scene with the kocos just did not land. it has the bones to be really impactful, but there are just some elements of the conversation between them that feel really, really off-putting. amy seems very pushy and defensive, and i don't feel inclined at any point to root for her, which is a shame, since sonic clearly seems to.

continuing with the kocos scenes -- amy asking the kocos to be careful when they finally reunite -- it feels really ooc and quite melodramatic. it makes me think they're trying to go with overprotective mother character for amy now, which i just really dislike, and doesn't quite feel like her. i hope they can make her more of the elements of her characterization that best suit her -- headstrong and protective, and inclined to do things herself, in her own way, even if she's taking too much control of a situation.

on that note -- agency. i get that she doesn't have agency in this game (none of the digitized friends have much) -- but unlike knuckles and tails, amy doesn't seem to try and do much herself. she asks sonic to do tasks for her, but it just seems that compared to the others, she's not putting in much work or taking much interest in her surroundings. knuckles tries to fight sage, and tails helps with a few tech things -- what does amy do? why was she written into this position -- no agency, and picking fights with sonic and attacking his character when he doesn't follow what she wants? i don't like this for her. i want her to be written well so badly but at every turn in the games, there's nothing to show what a well-written and compelling amy would even look like.

lastly, the scene where she says, "and i want to share that love with the world, no matter how far apart it takes us" -- i viewed every single side story and overanalyzed every detail i could find. this part still doesn't really track for me. what exactly does she mean by this? what type of love is she sharing and how? frontiers seemed like it was trying to set up side stories for all sonics friends, but... if amy goes on a solo adventure, what will it actually be about? how will it make her grow as a person? what will her character arc be? based on what she said here, i have no goddamn clue! right now, i feel like not enough seeds have been planted for her, unlike with some of the other characters. hers is the least clear set-up for a solo story beyond this, and i find that very disappointing. i hope she still gets one, but an amy-centric game will already have a difficult time selling given the niche market sonic fills in the gaming world -- she doesn't need even more sabotage to a potential solo-game by a poor setup.

overall, it just confirms that the amy i want to see most in a game, is an amy who simply has never existed. in sega canon, the only thing that's ever been consistent is that she has a crush. meanwhile, the fanbase might be pretty divided, but from what i can tell, fans; most consistent characterization desires for her are that we want her to be: extremely compassionate, maybe nature-focused, an incredible friend. protective and hot-headed, always taking charge even if she should probably think things through first. a girl with some growing-up to do, but she's always someone who takes responsibility for her friends' safety and will do whatever it takes to bail them out. she loves the world and everyone in it, and wants everyone to have a chance to find happiness and love. she's a huge romantic -- and yes, she has a crush, but it shouldn't be the most central thing to her identity. yet... i cannot point to a single game that's given us that, without an extreme level of gunk to wade through in-between decent traits. i want to love amy so badly -- but at some point, she has got to actually be written well again, or she'll be beyond saving.

tails, the negatives: (many of these are more minor, things that just really nag at me, and aren't as grounded and consistent as amy's)

this one kind of hurts me to even mention, because im really not sure how much was the script and how much was just voice actors not putting emphasis on the right words. but it kills me. in the like, very first scene with tails, sonic's getting cyber corrupted, and they have a back and forth that's EXCELLENT on paper, but the VA delivery really puts me off. to summarize the conversation, "[fancy version of] im digitized and the cybercorruption is super bad for you" "uh, in english?" "im fine, you're not, and i'm worried." "ill be fine! and i need this power to rescue you!" "you're always rescuing me, and... lets focus on the now. what do you need?" -- and ON PAPER, seeing it written, it's mostly fine, though could use a few more filler words in some areas to make it sound a bit more human. but tails's VA puts such weird inflection on the 'you're always rescuing me, and' part of it. it just doesn't make much sense as-is. for the effect it seems to be going for on paper, the last bit of the conversation should have been altered to be a heavy-sounding: "heh- i'll be fine! and I need this power to rescue you, anyways. don't worry about me, i can handle this." "yeah, but... you're always rescuing me. i just wish... for once i could... - nevermind. let's focus on the now. what do you need?" -- it doesn't change the substance of the conversation, but the tone would have been so much more compatible with the rest of tails's lines. i really wish they would've had more time to tweak the script and voice acting, because so much of this game could've been stellar, but it just barely misses the mark for me.

creepy energy when sonic shows up looking visibly exhausted and injured and tails not only doesn't acknowledge it. but puts on a huge smile and grins and waves at him as he leaves? what the fuck was that about? putting on a brave face would be a great move but fr what is he trying to do here? sonics not even looking back at him, why is he grinning and waving when his brother's badly hurt?

overall i think i just had a few nitpicks with voice acting but i have way fewer problems with tails than amy <3

sage, the negative:

i. honestly do not like her character. her death was sad but for most of her screen time, she was just so needlessly frustrating to interact with, and ive never been a fan of "the conflict only exists due to someone purposefully withholding information." shes aggravating.

i did not like her song. it was mad funny which was not the point.

it implies eggman could be a good father figure. bite bite kill kill etc.

she worsened every single cutscene where she was watching from a distance. get out of here sage... im trying to watch sonic talk to his friends :(

dialogue just sounds stiff

if she JUST TOLD SONIC WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE FIRST PLACE.........

eggman, the negative:

father figure eggman??? in this good christian minecraft server?

sonic:

overall, i quite like him here! i think my main complaint is that there was clearly so much more planned that just was not implemented very well, so its sonic's story arc that suffers most

the amnesia storyline is literally SO juicy that i feel robbed that almost all of the dialogue is nearly impossible to trigger, and almost nothing comes of it in the main cutscenes.

i feel robbed that his cyber corruption was resolved with zero effort. i would have KILLED for a cyber corruption fight, or some cyberspace levels that were super fucked up and needed some outside thinking to beat and escape back into reality.

notice how all of these are mainly wanting MORE though -- his actual lines, characterization, line-delivery, etc -- i don't have a problem with any of what we got. my issue is i just wish we'd gotten to see the finished product that we all know the game devs were hoping to finish before they got crunched. :( amnesia sonic i'll love you til the day i die

knuckles:

hes a little stiff at times but i have literally no complaints hes great. knuckles sweep etc

no but for real i do have a few issues with how congested and stiff he sounds. there are also some really weird pauses in the middle of conversation? it was most noticeable with knuckles, but i did notice it with all the others. i think they probably should have edited the sound a bit better to make it flow more, like a conversation and not like VAs just reading lines one at a time in a booth

something about the way he interacts with the koco rubs me the wrong way but i can't put my finger on it.

i still don't love the idea of commander knuckles.

NOW FOR THE PART WHERE I TALK ABOUT THE POSITIVES.

Because believe it or not, most of the negatives can be re-framed, AND/OR, are intentionally left somewhat lacking to set up for a transitional period so that the best characterization doesn't come premature. as in, if the characterization was perfect, it'd be like "haha, let's just pretend the last decade and a half didn't even happen. forces who?" instead, this takes the bold choice to acknowledge it and say, "yep! that happened. it sucked. we're doing better, but like real people, you have to go through the period of 'sucking less' before you get to the holy grail of self actualization.

so here's some of what i think are the positives, and/or the hidden meanings with some of these characters. but first i do want to go with a quick theme because its something i certainly believe while watching/playing.

the koco theory:

the kocos that each of the friends latch onto are ones that specifically project their issues from forces. it's most obvious with tails, but knuckles and amy have the same thing going for them.

with tails, the koco was a hero's assistant/pilot/whatever who fell short when the hero wasn't around. not much to say about it -- the game makes it super clear. tails even directly addresses 'just like when i fell apart around infinite' (paraphrasing). but just because his is the most obvious doesn't mean the others aren't doing it, too.

with knuckles, the koco were in a war against impossible odds... and knuckles was forced into a sudden commander position and didn't end up physically fighting much -- just like in forces. in forces, we hope he was fighting behind the scenes, but from what we the player saw, he was just in a supervisory position. sonic makes a dig at him for this in frontiers -- and i think it was meant to be a playful jab in-universe, but knuckles clearly takes it a bit more seriously. it bothers him to be in a supervisory position, and he's clearly a leader who researches military tactics, because he would've studied echidna war maneuvers, etc. i think this was partly meant to forgive forces / explain the role he was put into, but also to apologize to him as a character. he likes fighting even more than leading; putting him in a position where he's too immaterial to fight is torture for him, and he's grateful that sonic can help when knuckles himself is unable.

and amy... the koco she sees are lovers who are separated in a war zone; one is clearly a high ranking soldier, and the other, their lover. they come back together and confess their love just in time for both koco to die. this isn't a perfect 1:1 metaphor, but bear in mind that everyone thought sonic was dead. for six months. to them, he died in battle, with zero warning. of course amy would want a reunion between lovers before it's too late and someone dies. i think she has some serious survivor's guilt and regret going on. i still feel less overall emotional impact from amy's, because i'm just not a fan of love stories in general and i don't love how pushy she is with her scenes. but i think even sonic can tell that there's something going on with the way she's reacting to the kocos.

with that in mind, i'll add in a few other notes for each character. because the kocos being trauma-projection maps doesn't perfectly fix everything, but it does offer some explanations for some of the gaps in the stories.

amy, the positives:

despite still not being an amy characterization that i truly and unabashedly like..., this is still leagues better than any characterization i've seen for her in. ages. maybe ever. there are no moments where i think she's a bad person or aggravating -- instead, she seems very melancholy and thoughtful. i wished i could like her more, but we do see that sonic cares about her feelings deeply, and that's a step in the right direction.

notes about amy being knowledgeable about nature -- this is a trait that amy hasn't always had, but between this and prime, im liking this direction for her as a nature protector.

amy having a knowledge of the arcane! it's back and i couldn't be more pleased! i just think it's a very fun characterization trait for her and i quite like it

for the more mellow conversations, she seems like quite a sweet and friendly person. neat!

tails, the positives:

oh my god every single scene with sonic

no listen. listen. we've been waiting years for this to happen. tails getting some more room to breathe and grow up a bit? legendary!

i actually thought he grew up a bit too fast; the fact that they gave him the 'im mature and independent now!' arc in the VERY FIRST 3D SONIC GAME is kind of why the rest of the games have slowly watered him down and chipped away at his characterization. they played that card too soon, and too far. now we get to have that arc again and a bit slower; we're setting up in this game to see the real thing in a future adventure, and i'm very pleased by that.

little bro / buddy -> partner growth? holy shit... i adore this sm

the way tails reaches for sonic to physically try and hold him up -- twice in this game. my heart.

his vocabulary feels about right. it's not so over the top that it's aggravating.

he and sonic play off each other quite well, and understand each other fine -- aside from one joke about "those sure are words you said just now" (when sonics actively weakened by the corruption), sonic is insightful and his IQ isn't watered down just because tails is using higher vocabulary. this is clearly a duo that talks to each other frequently and understands each other quite well.

tails and sage's discussion is the only time i liked sage. i liked the way they communicated; i liked tails's ability to get to her by saying, 'my trust in sonic is also backed up by a lifetime of data' which was also super sweet <3

tails clearly cares about sonic and worries about him in return; he got an opportunity to see sonic when he was clearly not at his best. but he ALSO has a hero's mindset for most of this island of not trying to be a burden. granted, he does still need multiple pep talks, but his focus is to be useful and efficient as much as possible. you can also see that sonic has rubbed off on him in that way; you don't have to wonder where tails learned to push through negative feelings -- but he's still young enough, and sonic's a good enough friend, to help him open up. (unlike sonic who remains rather stoic through the end -- but thats just how i like him)

sage, the positives:

im putting a bulletin here so you don't think i forgot her. yeah.

eggman:

the fact that all the Deep Lore are from eggman and in the big fishing minigame. holy shit. i was SO PLEASED to find that out. this was such a fun way to give lil sprinklings of lore

and the content of the eggman voice logs were all great! he was in character and very fun to listen to

sonic:

my sweet summer child this is the best youve been written in so long. i am kissing you on your forehead you sweet blue creature.

optimistic and driven. focused on helping his friends. not stupid -- but he will follow the only lead he has, because what choice does he have? even then, he's not antagonistic towards sage, because he wants to have the bigger picture. he clearly doesn't completely trust the weird sky voice, otherwise why would he keep seeking out sage's information? he knows not to put all his eggs in one basket, it's just a pity that sage refuses to share information

RESILIENT LITTLE PUNK. i love him so much. he gets put through SO MUCH this game, and i really liked seeing it because it just drives home that he's an actual hero. this is doing damage control from forces, where he was allegedly tortured (yeesh) and was suuuuper chill about it, to the point that he has no reaction whatsoever when being freed. in this game, he's thrown through walls, shot missiles at, chased by giant buzz saws, keeps having to start titan fights without the last emerald -- and he presses on. we get to SEE him struggle. it's not heroism without struggle, and by seeing that it can be actually-difficult, his story is more impactful, and he's more interesting as a character.

his dynamic with each of his friends is unique, but he remains consistently characterized. it's fantastic. he's confident and devil-may-care while being a good friend and genuinely caring about each -- but with amy, there's a sweeter and more earnest undertone, with knuckles there's a clear rivalry and 'holding each other accountable and picking up the slack where the other fails' dynamic. they care but they're also both extremely stubborn about it so their affection is shown through tough love, and it's great. and sonic and tails's interactions are all gold. siblings, yes -- but sonic being tails's primary caretaker, there's a lot of responsibility there, even if it's largely masked by friendly banter. they care about each other, but it's clear who the older brother who's giving the pep talks is.

love that he continues to follow his views of right and wrong, without it being too in your face. it's not that he's stupid about sage -- but he knows she knows something he doesn't, so he won't antagonize her as long as he thinks she might crack and change sides -- he's seen it happen often enough, y'know? he's not the most patient guy for some stuff, but he's persistent when he needs to be

loved the voice acting in general. very fun sounds when running, especially the chuckles when you kinda miss a jump. he just sounds like he's having a blast on this adventure

loved all the mentions of the landscape etc as he's running. gives personality to both him and the area around the player.

no clue what sonic's doing after this game -- if all his friends are on solo missions, i hope he gets another one too. i know everyone wants him to house-sit for everyone else but i still love sonic going on adventures. i think he could have a fun solo adventure too :( storybook part 3 when? take sonic through a counseling book and make him fight all his demons from forced lol. by that i mean make him kick infinite's ass. kidding. mostly.

knuckles:

loved all his feelings about the architecture

he's definitely going through something and i love it

his friendship with sonic really shines here. yeah they're rivals but clearly they have a deep respect for each other. they also call each other out on shit which i think is important for both of them.

i liked his 'i think i'll have my own adventure after this' spiel best out of the 3 of them. yes even more than tails's. very well set-up. him and sonic sitting on the ledge just chatting felt like the most natural friendship in the world, and i get why knuckles is jealous.

that scene where the ruins are about to be destroyed. it got the perfect balance of 'deeply upset and worried' and 'can't express strong feelings well' ... beautiful

i loved so much of it but i actually don't have a lot to say specifically about him -- ares island was very atmospheric and i just liked him and his interactions with the landscape and sonic and the ruins.

overall?

more positives than negatives, truly. yeah, the characterization does still feel off in a few ways, and i don't like sage, and the cutscenes still aren't quite as good as i remember on my first run through. i think i wish they'd zoomed in a bit more, or made the digitized faces clearer, to show more feeling. i think i did also wish for deeper conversations than we got... especially with amy. but aside from some stiff conversations in some of the ruins-chatting, and some VA nitpicking where i wish they'd tweaked the lines or had lines closer together (there are some really awkward pauses in a conversation thats meant to be flowing) ... or done a few more takes of some things ... overall, i still don't dislike the characterization. it has room for improvement for a lot of these characters... but, there's officially positive trajectory now. i hope that these characters will continue on their upwards journey!

and bear in mind that i believe almost all of these could have / would have been fixed with a bit more time -- but that's sega's fault for rushing their franchise-saving game. the gameplay is a lot of fun, sega -- but everything else could've been even better if you just gave your game developers TIME. fuck's sake.

[alchemiclee]

I watched the live action atla series and, looks like a very unpopular opinion in the sea of people whining and complaining about it, but I enjoyed it. I think they did a pretty good job with what they had and their limitations. the actors all did a good job and you can tell they enjoyed what they were doing and have a big respect for the show and their characters.

i'll let you in on the secret if how to enjoying something:

it's not setting high expectations or prejudging things. i'm a master of having low expectations and keeping an open mind so that I can enjoy things in life better. I went into this knowing for a fact that it would not match with the animated series. I knew there was no comparison at all. yes, there were some small bits I thought here and there that they shouldn't have cut out and could have fit if they tried,or things they could have done differently, which is natural to think when watching anything really, but I knew there's no point letting those overshadow the entire thing. if you care so much about little things, go produce your own series and make it perfect!

I went into it thinking of it as it's own thing. I asked myself is this enjoyable if I started watching without having seen the animation? without having the knowledge I do have? turns out it was enjoyable enough on its own. yes, seeing the animation helps fill in some of those gaps they skipped, and I understand why people are upset about things nit being added, but overall, it's a good stand alone if you dont sit and compare and nitpick the whole time.

if you don't go into it thinking "this is going to suck! i'm going to find every flaw! live actions always ruin things I love! I want it to match the animation 1:1! etc" then you'll be able to enjoy it. but if you insist on watching it with that mindset, then of course you will hate it. having an open mind and separating the two like I did makes it more enjoyable! I was pleasantly surprised by it.

I knew this mindset helped, because I did it with another series that had a remake. if you know eureka seven, you'll know that there are a few too many spinoffs. what us fans want is a proper remake and/or a continuation with the characters we know and love. instead we got several movies that retell the story in less appealing ways, the manga that has a few major differences, and a spin off series that's supposed to act as a sequel apparently, but it was kinda awful. because I loved eureka seven so much, I highly judged all these spinoffs and hated them all.

but when hi-evolution came out, I was really in the mood for new eureka seven. the first movie was mostly reused footage from the series. but they added some new stuff. I decided to start watching those as if they are their own stand-alone instead of trying to compare and fit them together. i think these spinoffs are supposed to be different universes that don't compare to the original, and I overly judged them because it's not what I wanted it expected as a kid. I watched hi-evolution with this more open mindset, and guess what? I enjoyed it! I thought it was actually a pretty good stand alone! if I never saw the anime series, I would have enjoyed these movies. I separated them in my mind and enjoyed them as their own thing! this is an extremely unpopular opinion and I haven't seen any eureka seven fans say they liked them. they got the sawn treatment as all the other releases. everyone just wants new content related to the original anime, so that's what they insist of judging by.

back to atla, it may also help that it's been several years since i've seen the animation. BUT it is one i've seen multiple times and have pretty good memory of it, I think, even if it's not so fresh in my mind anymore. I consider myself a pretty big fan as well. it's my second favorite series after fullmetal alchemist. nothing has compared to fullmetal alchemist for me, but atla is pretty damn close. you could say nothing has compared to atla either. solid second place and has never wavered. eureka seven being solidly 3rd. orphan black is 4th.....and I saw something about a new spinoff with all new different characters coming soon...so i'll have to try to apply this same technique to that as well.

conclusion: if you go into something being judgemental, nitpicky, comparing every little thing to something else, and overall having extremely high expectations, of course you're setting it up to fail you. you're basically purposely making yourself dislike it. you decided ahead of time you were going to hate it, so you do. if you have an open mind, low expectations, and let it be it's own thing separate from the original, it may not be your favorite thing ever, but you can at least get some enjoyment or entertainment out of it! appreciate it for what it is, rather than judge it for what it's not. this is for most things in life, not just a series on netflix.

[remyfire]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

I was tagged by @quordleona03! Thank you so much for the tag I know lots of people have already been tagged, so consider this a formal request that if you have NOT been tagged, you please come play! But off the top of my head, @onekisstotakewithme @cuddleswinchester @dreamingofspring :D

How many works do you have on Ao3?

40.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

I think we might officially be leaving 2023 with 300,842 words. Not a bad count for only publishing since April! That's a novella a month right there.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

MASH. :D

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Scratching The Itch, Can't Take My Eyes Off You, To Have and To Hold, Anything You Say Can and Will Be Held Against You, and Tear Out All Your Tenderness. Good morning beejhawk nation I see you all hkdfds

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! Sometimes they pile up and I get overwhelmed and just click that "Mark All As Read" button while hiding behind my hand. But I really try to circle through nowadays even just for a "Thanks for reading!!" because I really appreciate every single one!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I feel like ...With Too Many Miles Between Us was a pretty rough one. There's maybe optimism that you can read through the cracks, but it was a damn agonizing prompt fill (affectionate) all around. The Good Ones Always Seem to Break is another. Sorry that I keep putting you in situations, Beej.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oughhhh, just about anything that suggests they don't end here, so to speak. I think To Have and To Hold probably tops the list, but I Intend to Hold You For the Longest Time and Soft Place to Land also come in hot just by nature of being established postwar situations.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! I've had a couple of people not understand what I was going for and who were not afraid of saying so, but it wasn't outright hate. They were probably just not the intended audience.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ahh yes. 65% of my current fics are rated E for a reason, and the 5 M ones are flirting with that line.

I categorize myself as an erotic romance writer, meaning that typically if you remove my sex scenes from my fics, you are losing integral information or character/relationship development that would otherwise make the fic not stand on its own. I also have a handful that are just pure erotica—sex for titillation's sake rather than development. I adore writing smut!! It's a lot of fun, it's exciting when you know you've landed it exactly like you wanted to, and it's a way for me to reclaim all those years I spent being forcibly repressed due to my religious upbringing. I love every minute of it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The Famous 4077 Dog Tag Party certainly counts! Many of us authors randomized a list of pairings for both eras of the show, and then we were responsible for picking a pairing, writing the characters going on a date (platonic or romantic), and seeing what happened. Extremely fun way to get some rare pairs we might not have expected. For example, I got to write Margie/Klinger for it!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Hey now I am too fucking polyam to answer this and you know it. Mcpunnihawk probably tops the list, warring with margbeej and sidbeejhawk.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am not taking this defeatist energy into 2024, how dare you. One day, my pretties, I'm coming back for all of you and we are crossing that finish line OR ELSE.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut, capturing character voices accurately, physicality, spinning relational scenarios on the fly.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Genres like mystery or sci-fi or horror, repetition of comfort words/phrases, putting my characters through significant levels of pain (I am too empathetic, I can and will cry over my own fics).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Things that I do not feel comfortable doing myself because I am not familiar enough with any other language to know I'm doing it accurately.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The kid wizard one.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

How dare you make me pick from my children. Scratching The Itch, Anything You Say Can and Will Be Held Against You, I'd Give Up Forever to Touch You, and Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures. Notably this could all change by this time tomorrow. I'm very fond of my fics.

[cutemothman]

(sm)all things

chapter 2/? | wordcount: 1360 | ao3

A home for all of my short and sweet msr ficlets that don't really fit in anywhere else. Can all be read alone.

chapter 2: like a lighthouse

After his abduction, Scully goes to Mulder's apartment to feed his fish.

Someone at the door fumbling with a set of keys sets off a chain of thoughts in Scully’s mind. She freezes next to the coffee table in the middle of Mulder’s living room. Still covered with various magazines and papers that Scully couldn’t bring herself to move. She spins to face the door, coat halfway down her arms, dangling off of her like a snake skin.

Her first thought is the most ridiculous. Her first thought is Mulder. Maybe that’s why she always dutifully shows up at his apartment under the guise of feeding his fish. Moving the tank to her own apartment would make the most sense. But she thinks that maybe, one day, when she goes to his apartment to complete the two second task of sprinkling flakes into the tank, that he’ll walk through the door. Which is why after feeding the fish, she usually walks around his empty apartment. Checking under the sink for leaks. Making sure the fridge is still working, even though she emptied it months ago. On more than one occasion, she’s laid down on his bed to rest her feet for a few minutes, only to wake up hours later in the dark. Apartment empty. Fish tank bubbling away in the corner. No Mulder. 

The person on the other side of the door drops the keys on the carpet. Her second thought is also ridiculous. Like she’s been caught somewhere that she isn’t supposed to be. She shuts down that thought as quickly as it washes over her. She belongs here. Who else is going to feed the fish?

It’s surprising that her last thought takes the longest to come to her. That she might be in danger. That someone is coming to ransack the apartment and that they’ll be surprised to find her standing there and pull a gun on her in a clumsy panic. The key is jammed into the lock and twisted to open the door. 

Scully backs up, her calves collide with the edge of the coffee table, nearly causing her to topple over. One hand splays out on top of the coffee table to steady herself. Her other hand is on her weapon and her heart is in her throat, pounding wildly in her ears. 

Before she can free her gun from its holster, the door swings open and John Doggett stands in the frame, keys dangling from his hand. He blinks a few times, clearly as surprised to see her as she is to see him. 

“Dana?” He’s already crossed the living room, hand on her elbow to pull her up. She imagines that she looked like a heavily pregnant, uncoordinated Neo from The Matrix. 

“Agent Doggett.” She regains her composure. “What are you doing here?” 

He gestures to the fish tank behind her. “I’m here to feed the fish. What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to feed the fish.”

They stare at each other for a moment in a weird standoff over the custody of Mulder’s fish. Scully doesn’t question Doggett’s devotion to her, or Mulder, for that matter. But she still feels territorial over anything that involves Mulder. A dog protecting its bones buried in the yard.

Doggett chuckles lightly and gives her a smile. “I guess these fish are pretty spoiled.”

Scully places her hand against her chest. Her heart has slowed its erratic rhythm. She huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, they are.”

Doggett folds his arms and leans against the wall. He nods toward the tank. “You better give ‘em their dinner. They’re probably ravenous.”

Scully smiles and pushes a hand through her hair. Retrieving the fish food from the shelf above the tank, she twists it open and taps the side a few times. The fish swim to the surface, greedily fighting over the flakes that float lazily on the surface.

Scully leans forward to watch the fish as they dip back down to the bottom of the tank to weave among the artificial plants and rocks. Colorful flashes against the underwater landscape that Mulder has crafted.

Her heart freezes in her chest when she sees the fish belly up in the corner, pressed against the filter. The color gone from its scales. Its eyes open and unseeing. She presses her fingers against the glass, as if her touch could bring the fish back to life. “No, no, no.”

Doggett pushes himself off the wall and peaks over her shoulder. 

“Ah, that’s too bad,” he says, glancing at Scully. Her hand still pressed against the glass of the tank. He digs through the drawers of Mulder’s desk until he finds the small green net. Scully doesn’t take her eyes off the tank as Doggett uses the net to scoop the fish corpse out of the water. The net drips on the carpet. He takes the fish to the bathroom to give it the best burial he can in these circumstances. When he returns to the living room Scully is still frozen in place, gazing into the tank. 

“Dana?”

Dana. She squeezes her eyes shut. I’ve become Dana again in Mulder’s absence. She can’t stop the tears that slide down her cheeks. Her legs give out from under her and she sinks into the couch, face buried in her hands, sucking in deep, raggedy breaths between sobs.

Doggett crouches in front of her. He doesn’t touch her. “What’s the matter?”

Scully pulls her hands back to look at him. “I couldn’t protect him.”

Doggett looks slightly bewildered. He looks between her and the fish tank. “The fish? You gotta know that wasn’t your fault. Fish die all the time.”

Scully shakes her head. The dead fish was the last piece on top of an already wobbly jenga tower that sends everything crashing down. “I couldn’t protect Mulder. I couldn’t keep his fish alive. I can’t protect our baby. I can’t do any of it.”

“Hey, that’s not true,” Doggett says, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. Feather soft at first to give Scully the chance to pull away if she wants to. She doesn’t. “What happened to Mulder isn’t your fault. The fish…” He pauses. “Well, the fish probably died because we were overfeeding them.”

That earns a watery chuckle from Scully. “We should have coordinated better.”

Doggett smiles and shrugs. “You live and learn.”

Scully weakly returns his smile before turning her gaze down to her fingers that rest in her lap, pale against her black pants. 

“And you’re doing a damn good job at protecting your baby. And when we find Mulder, I know he’ll be proud of you. You’re one tough cookie, Scully.”

Scully takes a deep breath. Allowing it to cleanse her lungs. “Thank you, John.”

He gives her shoulder a squeeze. He stands, his knees creaking in protest, and offers a hand to Scully to help her off the couch. She accepts it.

Scully turns away from him and shrugs her coat back onto her shoulders. “Are you busy, John?” 

Doggett raises his eyebrows. “Considering my only plans for this Saturday afternoon were feeding those fish, no, I’m not busy. Why? What did you have in mind?”

Making plans with a friend is something that Scully hasn’t done for what feels like ages. Throwing yourself into your work for seven years straight isn’t conducive to having a decent social life. She feels rusty. 

She fidgets with the sleeve of her coat. “Do you want to get coffee or something?”

Doggett considers her for a moment. He gives her a soft smile. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Scully returns his smile. Doggett flicks off the lights, leaving the apartment to be illuminated by the light that filters in through the curtains and the soft green glow of the fishtank in the corner. She locks the door behind them. Tugging on the handle a few times to make sure it’s firmly locked. Keys tucked safely in the pocket of her coat. Mulder was the one who taught her that she doesn’t have to shoulder everything alone. And when he comes back, he can look at his apartment—clean, no leaks, his fish overfed—and know just how loved he is.

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Why: The Question Fans Love To Ask, But Don't Actually Care About

Imagine the following:

We're on the set of Today's Hot Period Drama. To say the atmosphere is tense is an understatement. This is the last possible day to shoot. After this the film absolutely has to go to the editors or the episode will not be ready to air next week. Yesterday, everything went wrong, so they're behind schedule. Really, really behind schedule. Today, everything has to go right and if it doesn't, oh well. It is what it is, and if that means it's the worst episode in the history of THPD, so be it.

The pressure, as they say, is on.

The director looks over the scene and makes absolutely certain that the furniture is in place, the lighting is suitable, and that the family's beloved dog shows no sign of getting up from his afternoon nap and interrupting the scene. Content that all is as it should be and with one last prayer that the respectable old canine is not hit by a burst of youthful enthusiasm, the director calls for the actors to take their places. From just off the set, there's the sound of footsteps, punctuated by a shuffling noise, a kind of hopping sound, an oath, a crash, and what can only be described as a dignified, masculine shriek of absolute agony.

Spinning around, the director finds the lead actor, Handsome McHottypants sprawled on the floor in a tangle of lighting wires, clutching his foot while his costar, Beauty Splendiferus, stands over him fussing in a horrified manner. At first glance, Handsome's ankle does not look like it should be bending that way. The second and third glance don't help matters. It is pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that the lead man has just broken something and will not be standing for…well, longer than really bares thinking about if you have to get a program out on a weekly schedule. Of course, in future episodes you can make something work. Come up with a canon reason for Lord Moneybags to be limping around with a walking stick or something. But this episode has to be done right now, no options!

What to do, what to do?

Of course in the Golden Age of Hollywood they'd have just chucked a couple of morphine tablets down the actor's throat and called it a day. But this is the 21st Century! You can't just get your lead actor high on illegal substances! You don't have the budget to pay off the police like that! Some over the counter ibuprofen will have to do. It's determined that with that Handsome McHottypants can grit his teeth and get his lines out (although it likely won't be his best performance), but he absolutely Can Not stand.

This isn't good. This is a well researched, accurate period drama! Men do not sit in the presence of a lady! But there's nothing for it. Three people help Handsome McHottypants over to the sofa - resulting in a heart stopping moment when Fido opens his eyes, raises his head, and looks like he might be considering getting up, but instead goes mercifully going back to sleep - and get him seated. The filming starts. Lady Bountyland walks in and, seeing Lord Moneybags seated on the sofa, graciously says "No, no need to get up", and on they go with the shoot. They finish the take and, despite a couple of minor issues, the director declares it a wrap. They have two other scenes to get done, due to yesterday's shit storm, and Handsome's ankle is not going to get better on its own. So, with a congratulations to Beauty for improvising the "No need to get up" line, the director rushes off to get ready for the next scene and everyone packs Handsome off to the hospital.

Then the episode is released.

The audience's reaction is immediate and uncompromising:

"Why is he sitting? No man in that era would sit in the presence of a lady."

"He's always stood before. LOL I guess the director just forgot about manners!"

"I thought this was supposed to be an accurate period drama!"

"This is a sure sign that THPD is going down hill."

The only break in the condemnation of the production team is from the people who think Lord Moneybags is useless scum and take the fact he couldn't be bothered to stand for Lady Bountyland as proof of his worthlessness as a human being.

Much later, when Handsome McHottypants reveals in an interview that the reason Lord Moneybags remained seated (and mysteriously broke his leg in a riding accident between episodes) was because he'd tripped on wires and broken his ankle in real life, the audience pauses in their stone casting to go "Oh no! Poor Mr McHottypants! That sounds so horrible!"

….and then go right back to pitching stones at the production team for their 'error'.

… …

I swear, this is what happens every time film viewers - be it TV or movies - see something that does not immediately make sense to them or seems out of character or anything. I mean, yes, errors are made in filming. Handcuffs that aren't actually latched come apart, but it's so hard to see on film that everyone misses the fact that - well - you can see it on film if you look hard enough. Costumes rip, but the rip is only visible for one frame, so the only people who ever see it are the people who go through everything frame by frame looking for subliminal messaging. The actor trips coming across the stage, but you're already past the wire and can't do another shoot, so you play it off as a charming bumble.

I once read about an incident where it came time to shoot an episode of a TV show and they didn't have a script. Seriously, everything the script writer had tried had failed the sounding board stage. The actors had to straight up improvise the entire episode. As you can imagine, the end result was apparently not great.

The point is, it doesn't matter if these things are accidents or not. Whether Lord Moneybags stays seated because Handsome McHottypants broke his ankle or because the production team wanted to show Lord Moneybags for the uncaring scumbag he is, huge quantities of the audience (except the Lord Moneybags haters) will respond the exact same way:

They will ask "why did that happen?" and rather than trying to come up with any sort of rational explanation, they will pull out their bag of stones and start throwing them, all the while declaring that the production team makes dog shit look like Albert Einstein.

And why? What do people get out of it?

It doesn't actually make them smarter than the production team. Someone breaking their ankle or having a prop bust or tripping isn't a matter of intelligence and attention to detail. And what if something was done on purpose? What if all the people yelling "Lord Moneybags is SCUM!" are right and that's why he doesn't stand up? Then you really aren't smarter than the production team - or the Moneybags antis, for that matter - because you missed the point.

"Why are the Happy Couple living in Cottage B when at the end of last season they were planning on moving into Cottage A? Guess the writers forgot where their characters were moving!" …or maybe something came up and they couldn't rent Cottage A this season.

"Why did they go through all of that effort to set introduce the Sweet Side Couple in the last episode if they weren't going to capitalize on it in the movie? That makes no sense!" …unless they hadn't known the movie was going to happen when they filmed the last episode and then couldn't get one of the actors back for the movie.

"Why did Character 1's bedroom go from that lovely blue-green combo from last season to that horrible purple and cream scheme? She's supposed to have good taste! Did they just forget that?" …more likely the person whose house they were renting as the set redid the wallpaper and the production team didn't have much say in the matter because HEY! Not their house!

There are very few dismissive "why" scenarios I've seen people come up with that I've not been able to immediately come up with at least three, very solid, potential real world reasons for, ranging from 'technical issues' to 'you missed the point'. Even when I can't come up with those, I don't assign the Epic Fail badge to the production team, because normally someone else comes along and gives me a solid real world reason for it. And yet even the people who acknowledge "Well, yeah, that's a pretty solid reason" have this nasty habit of following it up with "but you know that's not what happened."

WHAT? HOW DO I KNOW THAT? I'm not a mind reader! You're not a mind reader! Neither of us are part of the production team! The only way anyone knows what actually happened is if the writer or director or one of the actors or, heck, the key grip says in an interview "Yeah, this is what happened." Until that happens you're just as clueless as I am.

Assuming the worst of every perceived error does not make you superior. Judging the production team for not flawlessly correcting for every hitch does not make them incompetent, it just makes you intolerant. Proclaiming every point that doesn't make immediate sense to you to be a failure on the writer's part may just prove that you're unperceptive. Even if you happen to be right and people just screwed up, as a human being you screw up too.

What you do with that observation is, of course, up to you.

But think about it.

[bradleyknoxfmp]

Research- Silent Hill

Silent Hill is a game franchise developed by Konami, who also famously developed the Metal Gear Solid franchise before the director Hideo Kojima made his own game company and developed them under his own name.

The Silent Hill games are in the 'survival-horror' genre same as the earlier Resident Evil games. The first instalment to the Silent Hill franchise was released in 1999.

It follows the story of Harry Manson searching for his missing adopted daughter in the town of Silent Hill. In the process discover a cult initiating a ritual to revive the deity they worship.

The monster design in this franchise is really unique and iconic and some of the best in horror games.

Some monsters from the first game which can help with my own sculpture are: Groaners, Rompers and Hanged Scratcher.

I've chosen these specific monsters from the game as I think they all share elements that my own monster has.

The Groaner is a dog the same as my creature but its thin skin on the Groaner which I'll take from this, the muscles are showing through the skin and on my creature the muscles are completely exposed but I do like the grey-brown colour the Groaner has so I might give my creature thin skin swell, that will also cut time as I won't have to sculpt every individual muscles and the detail that goes along with it.

The Romper and my creature have a similar posture, the long arms and arched back. The Rompers more humanoid than my creature but from how the Romper stands I can imagine the walk in the same sort of manner.

I think the creature which is the most similar to mine though is the Hanged Scratcher. It has the animalistic posture to it with long limbs and curled fingers, the jawline is exaggerated and it has thin skin showing muscle definition. I also like the green skin so in order to take something from these creatures I'm going to make my creatures skin a brown/green colour, perhaps to show decomposition and I can add more texture like dirt and blotchy patches of skin to make the skin look more organic and further add to the realism of the sculpt.

Easily the most popular Silent Hill game is Silent Hill 2, released in 2001 and getting a remake in late 2024, which was announced in October 2022 and is set to released exclusively on PlayStation 5 . This game defiantly has some of there most iconic monsters in the horror game genre such as Pyramid Head and the Nurses.

The game follows a new character James Sunderland searching for his dead wife in Silent Hill after receiving a letter from her telling James to come find her there. Unlike the first game no monster in this game are similar the creature I'm creating so I don't think I'll take any inspiration of this game creatures.

Silent Hill 3 is the next instalment and one of the more popular of the franchise of nine main line games and 12 spin offs.

The third game follows Heather as she explores Silent Hill.

A monster from the third game that stands out to me is the Double Head, a dog monster so it instantly goes towards research. I like how instead of two separate heads the singular is just split in half, if I had the time and skill I would defiantly add something similar to my own creature just to give some uniqueness and develop on the horror elements of the sculpt.

[yusuke-of-valla]

From the perspective of Persona 5 Royal as a standalone story I'm not necessarily against the ambiguity of what exactly happened with Akechi. I actually like it, there's lots of room for interpretation! The Third Semester had a sort of dream logic to it which fit well with how the cognitive world was bleeding into reality. I like the idea of Akechi being a sort of Schrödinger's cat. Is that actually Akechi or just Joker's mind playing tricks on him? If he survived, how? Was that Akechi or was it not? Will Joker and Akechi ever meet again or will they simply remain individuals who changed each other forever only for their paths never to cross again, with Joker forever unsure of Akechi's survival or even what happened to the boy he cared about enough to change reality? The open-endedness of Akechi's story as it relates to Joker isn't bad to me.

However it does cause a lot of problems for any Persona 5 game that happens afterward the 3rd semester which by its nature needs to have a canon answer to all of this if they want to bring back popular character Akechi (which is probably why Strikers apparently takes place in the timeline of the OG Persona 5 and not Royale). And the similarly "are they actually brought back to life or merely mental constructs?" question that the other back-from-the-dead loved ones in the 3rd semester raise are far easier to brush aside since their status as dead is never in question with incentive to bring them back for a later instalment of the series. I personally don't have much faith in Atlus explaining it in a compelling way that makes sense though.

Honestly, if you ask me everyone acts like Akechi is dead because Joker believes it. His wish is predicated on the belief that Akechi IS dead which is the information Maruki is acting on and the world then shapes itself to accommodate and with his memories so fuzzy, why should Akechi believe any different? Not to mention how Akechi's cognition of himself and the world might also have an impact on the evidence, Maruki's own perception, and his conclusions. But the choice still matters because Joker and Akechi were willing to make that choice even if it resulted in Akechi being dead, not necessarily that it ends with Akechi dead.

Yeah, basically. As a stand-alone story it's fine, and my issue with Akechi's death being a cop out is more along the lines of "by the fucking FOURTH fake out death (fifth if you count Joker's), it starts getting really annoying" than it being bad conceptually

But the problem is it's part of a series that has Spin-off games that continue the story, and like they should have known people would expect a follow up come Royal.

So really they shot themselves in the foot with that final cutscene because while I do find it annoying that people will go "where's Akechi?!" At every new thing, I don't think it's unreasonable for people to, you know, expect the very deliberate dangling plot thread to get addressed? From a very deliberate standpoint, why would you show him the way you did if it isn't supposed to be a sequel hook (because yeah the blocking of that shot is very deliberate "hey look at this")

It's not like this was originally gonna be stand alone story and then it got unexpectedly popular so you made a sequel, and now have to answer a question so plot can happen

Idk maybe it annoys me so much because to me at least it's SO blatantly stringing fans along I'm kind of offended on principle. Like you made your bed fucking lie in it, don't dance around it like cowards

[avalentina]

The Wrong Stick

"Ok Y/N, be brave, you got this, your period is a full week late, just walk in, buy a few tests, use them in their bathroom and go home." You say in your head, trying to psych yourself up for this. 

You manage to go into the store, find the pregnancy tests, you select 3, each a different brand, pay for them, and then use their restroom. You'd do it at the house you share with Harry, but he has his guy friends over and you don't want to do this with them around, and especially not when they're almost certainly drunk off their asses. 

After urinating on the sticks, you wait the required amount of time remembering when you and Harry started talking about someday building a family. Neither of you wanted to label your relationship. There would be no wedding, no fancy ring (unless you wanted one, H would gladly buy you anything and everything you wanted. Neither of you were religious, spiritual for sure, but in your own ways. All that mattered to you, was that your heart had found its home with Harry and Harry's with you. 

You're lost in your memories when the timer you set goes off and you look at all of them, Positive. All of them are positive. Without thinking you snap a picture and toss them into the bin and wash your hands. That's when it hit you, you should grab one to show Harry. So you pluck one out of the trash can, sanitize it, wash your hands again, and then wrap the stick up in a paper towel and head home.

The sight in front of you is almost exactly as you expected it. Harry is drunk and dancing like he's on stage. The guys are laughing at him, he spins around doing his little stompy thing that you find adorable. And again as you expected, because he's drunk, he got too close to the edge of the coffee table he was standing on and slipped, crashing to the wood floors below.

"HOLY FUCK, OUCH!, THAT HURT LIKE A FUCKIN BITCH!" he curses and you just laugh out loud. Which is of course when he finally realizes you're back. 

"BABY! YOU'RE BACK! MISSED YOU!" He squeals from the floor like a child, but you love him. "Yes, I'm home H, are you ok?"

"S'all Gucci." He says, still not attempting to get up. You laugh about him saying Gucci instead of good, but again, he's drunk.

"DOLL, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MOVING THAT SEXY SLAPPABLE ASS OVER HERE TO HELP ME GET UP SO I CAN GREET YOU RIGHT." H whines and you laugh but go help him anyways.

"If I have to pull you up, you're not getting the present I bought for you at the store." You say, reaching an arm out. Harry is up, without your help in less than a second.

"SHOW ME!" He says, bouncing in excitement. 

"Meet me upstairs after your friends are gone." You whisper to Harry and saunter off giggling at the shift in Harry's eyes, you knew he'd be kicking em all out.

"Round em up, out, out of the house, time to go home." Harry shooed his friends out of his house. It's less than a 15 minute walk for each of them. Once they were out, he shut and locked the front door, before racing up the stairs. He found you in your shared bathroom, running yourself a bath.

You heard him entering, and swaying your naked hips a little, making your way to him before presenting him with the towel in your hands.

"Mm, I like this present already," he commented on your nakedness. He unwrapped the towel, looked at the stick, and cocked his head a bit, trying to figure out why the hell you would give him a negative test stick and call it a present.

As you watched Harry's expression, you got really nervous, was he not ready, did he not want this with you anymore?

"Doll, it's negative, are you happy that you're not pregnant? Do you not want this anymore? What's going on?" H asks and you steal the stick from his hand. And you're shocked, it does say negative, but that doesn't make sense because your 100% certain that yours all said positive.

"Shit, there must have been another test in the bin when I went to grab one back out after tossing them absentmindedly. Don't worry, I disinfected it and my hands again before wrapping it up. But H, I took 3, all different, and they all said positive, see?" You said, pulling up the picture you snapped before you decided that actually giving Harry a stick would be more fun.

"HOLY FUCKS! DOLL!" He scooped you into his arms, feeling completely sober all of a sudden. "Parents, we're actually going to be parents!?"

"Fuck, we're going to be parents, I've gotta hide the alcohol, and my shroomies, and smokes, and probably half of everything that is currently in the kitchen."

You just facepalmed and let him run his energy off doing the little things, while you enjoyed your bath.

Hope you enjoyed! And I hope it won't be too long before the next posting?!?

-Ava💟

[itslenagain]

[ Part 1 / Part 12 ]

PART 13

Back in the small apartment in Wilson, Kimberly sits in the living room, gazing out the window at moon-kissed mountaintops, knees tucked under her chin. She remembers sitting on the beach in November, the crashing of waves, the crackling of seaside bonfires, salty mist tickling her skin. She sighs. Outside, a deer stands, staring directly at her. She watches as it approaches the glass of the window. Then, in a blink, it vanishes. Kimberly shakes her head. Maybe she imagined it.

Hera lies awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. She is normally very sure of herself. Now? She lifts her hand up and looks at her ring. Its delicate gems glimmer in the soft moonlight. She puts her arm down across her body. She waits, patiently. Kimberly will come to bed eventually.

She will, right?

(Several hours earlier...)

Bev chews on the end of a pen, furiously scribbling notes in between chomps. "Divorce gets ugly, okay? And we are setting a whole brand new precedence here. Like, literally divorcing across dimensions? With immortal beings?" She crosses something out, then writes in something else. "We really need to be prepared for literally anything. What does he have on you that could hurt your image?" Kimberly looks at Bev, confused. Hera hesitates. Bev sighs and rubs her hands over her face. "Listen, we already have our work cut out for us on establishing a case here. I don't even know if a judge will take it. But, on the chance that one does, Hera wants this public. The media is going to be involved, the court of public opinion is going to be a factor here. Men who are desperate say and do crazy shit, and we are dealing with an especially difficult one. He's going to slander her in any way he can, and I need to know so we can get ahead of it all." Bev looks seriously at Hera. "You need to tell me everything. There can be no secrets. I need to know it all." She looks at Kimberly. "And I need to know that you're in this. You will inevitably be involved. They will tear you apart too, and if I don't know, I can't help."

"...I've been trying so hard to escape who I've been," Hera says. Bev has never seen her so vulnerable. "He has plenty to slander me with. I was violent and jealous. I attacked his mistresses, his children. I neglected my own children. I put my son-in-law through a hell worse than Hades. I harassed women Zeus showed interest in. I blamed everyone but him for his transgressions," Hera looks at Bev. "It would take me centuries to tell you all the horrible things I've done."

Bev furiously scribbles. Her pen snaps in her hand, covering it in black ink. "Fuck. Okay.... I mean, I know some of this is in the mythology, so people will know at least some parts of your history." She grabs another pen. "...You were subject to abuse, and your actions were a reaction to that abuse. That's how we spin it. I'm still going to need more details from you. How about you start writing out a list?" She tosses a pen and notebook to Hera. "As much as you can think of, anything he could weaponize."

Kimberly looks at her feet. "You really think it's going to get that sensational?"

"He tried to kidnap Hera off of a plane and Hera sent him to literal hell. Of course it's sensational. Divorce brings out the worst in people, and we are dealing with an all-powerful God who has proven he will do just about anything to bring Hera home." Bev takes a sip of her coffee. It's cold. She crosses to put it in the microwave.

Kimberly looks at Hera, who is already jotting points in her notebook. She watches the steady hand, the curve of the letters. "I didn't know it would be so intense."

Hera looks at her, a soft smile on her lips. "Don't worry, my love. It will all be okay." Kimberly looks at her feet.

Bev sits back down. "Kimberly, Jo- well, my firm does intensive background checks on all potential clients, so I know you haven't had any major legal troubles or anything scandalous online. This does not necessarily mean you're in the clear."

Kimberly feels the room getting smaller. "...Bev, can we talk more tomorrow? I'm... just feeling really tired lately. I'm sorry."

Hera turns to Kimberly with a concerned look. Kimberly does not look back. Bev sucks in a breath between her teeth as an awkward tension fills the air.

"Are you okay?" Hera asks on the drive back.

Kimberly keeps her eyes on the road. The lump in her throat is suffocating her. "This is a lot more intense than I expected." Her eyes water. She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I guess I didn't know what I was in for."

Hera puts a hand on Kimberly's shoulder. "I know this is a lot for you. It's all going to be okay-"

"You keep saying that, and I don't understand. How are you not fucking terrified right now?!" Hera is surprised. "This is serious. This is scary. Both our lives are about to be under a microscope and it seems like you're just ready to let it happen. I don't know if I'm ready for that, okay?! You haven't even asked me how I feel about this!" She pulls the car to the shoulder. Her chest is tight. She tries to breathe. Hera puts a hand on her shoulder. She knocks it off. "You haven't even asked me," she repeats, sobbing in between, "if I am okay with my life being made a spectacle of. I didn't know this would happen when we started dating." Kimberly tries to steady her breathing. "And then I find it all out and we just started running, no time to talk, or to think. I knew it would be hard but I didn't think it would be like this."

Hera sits beside Kimberly, shocked. Her chest hurts. She hasn't felt this way in a long time. "I... I don't know what to say," she says. "I thought you wanted this, too."

Kimberly looks up at her. "I wanted a partner. I wanted us to be a team together. Sometimes it felt like that, but lately it just feels like things are happening and you're just making decisions for me that I didn't even know needed to be made." She wraps her arms around her chest and breathes. She hugs tight, as though if she loosened her grip, her body would fall to pieces.

She looks at Hera. She literally glows in the sunlight. Kimberly feels like her dreams have been stabbed, knife twisting in her gut. She says the words and it hits both of them like a bullet to the heart.

"Maybe we moved too fast."

(Reno...)

"Hello, I'm calling for Joanne Faraday, I'm her lawyer."

"No, I have not spoken to her since the arrest. I'm out of state at the moment and need to speak with her."

"She has a right to counsel no matter what she has been accused of. If you do not put my client on the phone, I will take action against your department!"

"Transferred?! Where is she being held?"

"Well, you'd better find out where she is!"

"So let me get this straight. You lost a prisoner. Don't know where she went or when she left. Great. Just you wait until this gets out. If my client has been harmed in any way, we will sue."

Bev slams the phone down on the receiver. She pulls out her cellphone and dials Joanne's number. Voicemail. She tries a second time, just in case. No answer.

She looks up flights to Cheyenne.

(Olympus...)

"...I think it's working. There is some clear conflict between them right now."

"Excellent work, my child." Zeus offers a glass of wine to Artemis. "I still think it would be easier to just kill the mortal," he says, stifling a laugh.

"No, father. If you want her to come home, you need to trick her into thinking she's coming back by her own choice. Hera is a petulant creature who needs to feel in control. I can't wait to watch how she reacts to all of her new mortal playthings betraying her." Artemis smiles and sips on the wine.

Zeus looks at Artemis with fondness. "Artemis, if this plan of yours works, you'll forever be at my right hand, a God amongst Gods, a leader of leaders!" His expression turns serious. "Do not let me down."

"It's child's play, father. Mortals are easily manipulated."

"It's not the mortals you should be wary of," Zeus says slowly. "Hera is far more dangerous than you know."

[ Next ]

You are a divorce lawyer, the best in your field. You have just received word that you will representing the Greek goddess Hera in her divorce from Zeus.

[dippietheham]

TW: Death, Grief

Grieving the loss of a loved one is hard for anyone. Even if I'm just watching and sharing grief, it can get tough.

Mocktails help me get over these times. So I went to visit my favourite bartender. He stood quietly by as I downed two of his concoctions in a row. I didn't ask if there was alcohol, but something burned its way nicely down my throat, bringing tears to my eyes.

At least that must be the reason for my wet cheeks. I have no good reason to cry. I don't have enough reasons to grieve.

While I nursed my third almost certainly alcohol free mocktail, my bartender quietly took up a tale.

----------

Have you heard of the Dancers for the Dead (he asked)?

Many people enter and leave through the doors of my pub. Oftentimes, they come once, and never return. Sometimes, they become regulars, and their habits are pretty much set in stone. For those, I know their preferences, their moods and their orders.

(He placed another mocktail in front of me.)

And sometimes... They don't return.

I've never really thought about those who don't return. People change locations or change tastes. I seldom think of them outside that mild curiosity that we humans have. The gentle wondering of why a person who entered our lives had to leave, or chose to leave. Where they're at. What they're doing. How they are now.

Death... Seldom enters that equation.

The day I met a Dancer, I was spending time with my fairy friend, watching the garden together. It's a peaceful experience, an excellent reward for owning this piece of land that crosses so many boundaries.

As he snacked noisily on his beef that day, the wind started to pick up. As sometimes happens, a little whorl of air started to spin on the path before us, picking up dried leaves and small twigs. Round and round it spun.

I suddenly recalled one of my patrons. A little old lady, with a love for flair. I'd always made a show of pulling out her chair. I'd wipe the table with extravagant movements, and serve her drinks and food with a flourish. She always had the sweetest smiles and giggles for me, and would show her concern for me in little ways. One time she brought in a packet of popping rocks, because she wanted me to feel like a child again. We shared that pack of popping rocks, an unspoken crackly secret in the midst of the hectic world.

Another young lad came to mind. He was quiet, surly, curt. But he seemed to know this about himself, for while he kept to himself for the most part, he'd leave an extra bill on the table and exit unobtrusively. Almost apologetically.

Both of these patrons had stopped returning for a couple of months by that time. As I wondered why they'd suddenly surfaced in my memories, the air started to crystallize around us. My fairy toadfriender audibly swallowed the rest of his beef, and seemed to come to attention.

It became apparent that there was someone - or something - in the middle of the whorl that had been floating past us. She was small and slender, about as tall as a standing squirrel. I couldn't see her features clearly, as she never stood still. She spun around, one foot on tiptoe, the other lifted to her knee, arms arched over her head. Her face was uplifted, and as she spun, she never seemed to face a single direction for long.

A web of water droplets seemed to flicker outwards from her dance. Little shiny gems that flared, catching whatever light was present, glittering, shining. They would be swallowed up by the vortex generated by her dance, vanishing in little sparkles. Her feet twinkled as she pushed her foot off the ground again and again, a perpetual pirouette, a ballerina caught in a cycle. The droplets spread out, up, and then fell.

Then the sense of loss hit me.

It was almost tangible, a sense that something, someone was gone. A hole was left where a space had once been occupied. But not just a hole, a lack-of-presence. Perhaps there was a sense that this should not have been. Ideally loss should never have occurred. Things should not have changed. But they had, they did, and now grief was present in the place of who once was.

As the Dancer danced on, my friendly toadfairy and I could only watch, spellbound. Tears streamed down our faces. Suddenly, with a lingering smell of sunlight, lilac and lavender, she was gone.

We sat there, my fairy friendtoadster and me, gulping like fish fresh out of water. Sobs were wracking my body, but my fairy friendlytoad reached out a webbed foot to my hand. He must have done something for me, for I was able to calm down and breathe better. He looked a mess (for a toad), but he appeared calmer too.

"You weren't supposed to see that." he sniffed.

"What was it?"

"That... was a Dancer for the Dead."

"Death comes for us all, even the fae. Along with loss, and change. But many a times, humans pretend that death and loss do not affect you. Your kind don't seem to like facing up to grief and pain. Tears that should be shed are withheld, like little plugs that stopper up the drainpipes of grief. You cover up your tears with work, with distraction upon distraction, entertainment, with drugs and addictions."

"But drains must do what they do. Or they will overflow. The grief and tears must go somewhere. And for every man or fae that tries to stop the flow of grief that comes with Death, a Dancer is born."

"The Dancers of the Dead dance unseen. They carry the unspoken losses, the unmourned dead. They weep for those for whom tears have been restricted, lingering at the edge of someone's eye, but never shed. They dance to share in the burden of grief that the world creaks with, to release it like little sprinklers, so that the world continues to spin. Grief, carried and stopped for too long, can break the world with its weight."

"For some of you humans, the grief will never be looked at. It is too raw, too painful, too much to handle, too unreal to be real. For other humans who have died, truly alone, no one is around to mourn them. No one grieves what should be grieved. And yet for some others, they need to survive. Their Grief needs a bitter pint, a friendly shoulder, a listening ear and the comfort of a warm bed after. They don't have the luxury of those things, not yet. Not now."

For all these reasons, the Dancers dance. In the midst of a spinneret of wind, in the breath of a passing breeze. In the middle of a thunderstorm, pelting down hard in the heart of a city, a little Dancer might spin, crying, expelling grief into the uncaring night. In the middle of the ocean, where the darkest smear might exist at the bottom of a deep trench, a little whirlpool would spin up, circle for a while, and then dissolve, to reappear at another time of need. Sometimes, in the darkest of hearts, a little Dancer might turn up, for a split second, attempting to release the hurt of hurts, and possibly failing. But they will still dance. On and on, they dance.

I, a human, was not supposed to see one. But for that moment, I grieved my patrons who I now knew had passed, for some reason or another. I grieved that I would never see them again. Their stories had ended, and I would never experience them again in my life.

"But the fae welcome the Dancers. Do you know why?"

I shook my head.

"When the grief has been released, it means that there is hope for moving on. Life continues despite loss and change. What is lost may never be regained, but there is always something and someone new in this world. A new memory is made with every loss. The day must end before the new day can dawn."

"The fae know this too well, for the number of years we stay on this plane. But the Dancers remind even me, that for every loss I sustain, there is something I will gain. For every loss to have happened, I must have experienced. A life lost to me, is a life that once was with me. You, my friend, have been kind to me in a way few have been kind. I will lose you one day too, as I have lost almost all my human friends."

He smiled at me. As only a toad with teeth can, but today his smile was a lot warmer.

"For you, I will grieve. But I will also be thankful that I once had a supply of good beef. And beer."

"And a human companion who never asked for more than my company."

----------

I slept like a child that night. For I dreamt of a Dancer, who caressed my cheeks with her tears, and enfolded me into dreamland with a warm embrace.

She smelt like my mum.