#fuck zeus

[arrowheadedbitch]

I feel like Apollo would really feel for percy when he goes "I am SALLY JACKSON'S son!" He'd have such respect for him, be real.

Oh, you like your mom WAYYY more than your dad? FELT

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Jason and Percy heavily making out, in Cabin 1, (as bros) just to piss off Zeus

[greekgodssitcom]

Camera Man: What do you do?

Hermes: I steal stuff

Ares: Can you steal me my will to live back from Dad?

Hermes: I can steal you enough money to afford therapy?

Ares: We’re doing it the long way then

[zeemczed]

Rethinking the Apple of Discord

So here's the thing; you give the apple to Hera, that's the safest initial choice, but you hedge your bets first.

First you go to Athena. You tell her that you cannot choose her, but you believe that she will see the wisdom in your choice.

Then you go to Aphrodite. You tell her that you cannot choose her, but you dedicate your choice to her, and thank her.

Then you go to Hera. Get down on one knee. Tell her that she is the fairest, that her philandering ass of a husband is unworthy of her, and that if she will have you - if she will cast off the adulterer and have you instead - you will treat her with a devotion and passion that exceeds even what Dread Persephone has known.

And - here's the kicker - you have to MEAN it.

For Athena, this is a high-risk-high-reward tactical decision that has a chance of netting you a place as lover of the most powerful woman in the pantheon. For Aphrodite, it's a new ship to play with. And for Hera, seriously fuck Zeus he's a jackass, at the very least she'd have to admit you have a point.

[nomournersonefuneral]

Poseidon would not leave Sally behind if he looked into her eyes. Just once would be enough to make him stay

I don't think he would be able to bare how she looked at him still with love in her eyes. Like she didn't hate him. Gods how he secretly wish she did. It would make this easier.

gif made by @yenvengerberg

[kitty-page]

My family moved into a house with a beautiful huge old oak tree in the front yard.

A few months later, it got hit by lightning and had to be cut down the rest of the way.

Do any lawyers know how to sue Zeus with tree law? Lol

[itslenagain]

Check out my Greek Mythology story!

Inspired by @writing-prompt-s, this story follows four main characters:

Hera, Goddess of women, marriage, and mothers, who has left Zeus after discovering she is a lesbian...

Kimberly, a mortal woman seeking more from life than her 9 to 5 job, who catches Hera's eye...

Bev, a talented divorce lawyer living in denial about her own marital problems...

Joanne, the secretary with a complicated past whose dedication to her employer is about more than the money...

The four embark on a journey filled with twists and turns that push the limits of their abilities, and their relationships. Follow along as their attempts to help Hera divorce Zeus uncover larger problems in both Olympus and in the mortal world!

Read it here!

[rueisblue]

Lester: haha dad ami right?

Jason:…dont fucking touch me

[sydneycooper]

"Percy's one of those kids who should've never been born" Look who's talking Mr Thunder dick

*Discretely side-eyes the Greek myths in which Zeus ruined everything with his inability to control his horniness*

[2glassesofchianti]

JUSTICE FOR DENNIS!!

[ytcomments-archive]

[venusleontios55555]

why is hades better?

I love how hades is supposed to embody death and all the negative things in the world and is supposed to be this evil monster who tortures heroes and is a overall weird gloomy underworld dude who is surrounded by death. But people prefer him over zeus and poseidon for one simple reason :

he is loyal to his wife and he loves her.

[darkcrowprincess]

Percy just completely ignoring Luke's warning about being seen as a spider to the gods. Boy you almost got squashed if it wasn't for your Dad. Like Luke is right most of the gods don't care. They see you as tools to be used. And when they get too scared or you become useless you get squashed like a bug.

[locklylemybeloved]

ah yes lets blame jason for a mistake he did not commit yes yes lets make him pay for something he did not do but his dad did good job

jason 🤝 me

being held accountable for the mistakes the authority figures in our lives made

[eggs-mushrooms-moths-and-gay]

If you had to fight a god, which one and why? Also would you win? (yes you can bring tools/ yet another custom swiss army knife)

Zeus hands down i would also bring almost all of the other female gods and yes zeus would die

[alex-tastes-things]

Hey, do you think you could get your hands on some liquid black holes? They're my go to drink when I'm not mortal and I just want to make sure Dionysus didn't change the recipe behind my back again.

Also if Zeus, or anyone like him, tries to stop you, you have my permission and blessing to fucking deck them. Have fun!

i didn't need your permission to fight zeus. killed him. couldn't find the liquid blackhole so have fun fighting dionysus for custody of that recipe.